#esp bc zam was so miserable to not have her by their side as the world ends
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"thank you for everything, ro. i wish we got to work together."
"oh same, but y'know, some things just don't work out."
i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics
#veni.txt#i managed to Not cry over the betrayal#but ro giving up and choosing to be alone in the End got to me man#esp bc zam was so miserable to not have her by their side as the world ends#he cared abt her so much bro 😭#she was so content to just...give up.#she realized she wasnt wanted. accepted it. said her piece. and left.#i dont know if she ever came back to s4 after that. maybe ill see when i keep watching when it isnt almost 4 am#but like. she is such an interesting character#she isnt someone who is particularly confident or assertive and yet she also refuses to allow herself to be unwanted#like if she doesnt feel like she is wanted she just leaves#i actually wanna eat drywall bro im miserable#im shaking ro very aggressively#i hate her so bad#“you guys dont trust me and thats okay.”#can she stop. can she not. watching this vod has Changed me#it puts her whole “i wasnt wanted” to ash during the s5 finale into an entire new perspective#honestly? it puts her s5 betrayal into a new perspective#it has added so much necessary context to her character for me#from the final attempt at ending the server on her own terms to her resigning herself when she realized it wasnt possible#i need to squeeze ro until she pops
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ro being the one who made the choice to leave zam & mapicc at the end of s4 has severely changed my brain chemistry i fear
#veni.txt#esp taking into consideration just how much she still loves them both#and how clear that love is in s5 & s6— especially for mapicc#like she is definitely most confident and most Herself when shes in front of him but i refuse to snub drastics#bc tbh zam is so easily the 2nd person behind mapicc that ro seems to be her most honest self with#and its not even one sided bc his love for her in s4 was so clear. he was so openly miserable when she gave up#and his soft spot for her has been shown time and time again even in s6#im sorry im just#screaming crying sobbing#dualities and drastics /derog#its almost 5 am#and theyre all i can think abt#maybe its time i lock in#and yap abt ro bc i have so much to say abt her
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