#can i have a love as pure as them?
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The Garrinis art I commissioned 🖤 thank you so much @ketto-art
Based on chapter 4 of You need only ask. If you like fluffy rare pairs please do give it a go 😌
#this cheered me up a tiny amount#can i have a love as pure as them?#garrinis#ominis gaunt#garreth weasley#ominis gaunt x garreth weasley#garreth weasley x ominis gaunt#you need only ask
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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You’re my favorite blog with an amazing costume and stellar art, so I hope to bestow upon you the small pleasure of asking you:
Trick or treat?
Thank you very much! I'm incredibly honoured to be your favourite blog! I know this is late but please accept this treat, happy belated Halloween!
#asks#fanart#tintin#adventures of tintin#captain haddock#archibald haddock#comic#halloween#trick or treat#i have no time to check for mistakes in this i will just have to live with them#haddock knows what a child is#i cant really imagine tintin and haddock celebrating halloween normally because it just wasnt really a thing in europe until very recently?#like im 24 and it was introduced here a little before i was born#halloween as it exists today is pretty american#i know a lot of people who arent that old who didnt even think about it growing up lol#i love halloween tho#it's a holiday that's purely optional and you can celebrate however you want it with whoever you want#alcohol tw
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With how Rook stalks Leona and Vil (is it really stalking with Vil if Vil is very much aware and consents enough for rook to be in the open?) if both of them date Jamil, would he also be stalked?
He's already hyper aware of his surroundings so adding rook into the mix feels like he should just get more time to sleep.
Thank you SO MUCH for asking! Lemme introduce you to Vil/Rook/Leona shipping, the sheer potential of Rook-Jamil, and my Rook metamour theory!
First, I'm a big Vil/Rook/Leona shipper. I call Rook/Leona the Hunter/Hunted ship. Who's the hunter? Who's the hunted? Who knows. As @aria-faye (THE Rook connoisseur who made me love Rook too lol) said, they both come from the same place, have the same culture, and are both somewhat outsiders in their own way. Rook doesn't really fit the Sunset Savanah stereotype or the Savanaclaw mentality in full. Leona doesn't fit the ideal of a prince and gets ostracized by his own people. Both of them work really well as a ship with Vil and it makes this funny Pomefiore-to-Savanaclaw pipeline with Rook in the middle, having been in both dorms.
For Jamil, once more quoting V "I feel like Rook kind of already keeps an eye on Jamil, a bit. He watches things he finds beautiful, and Jamil is definitely beautiful." Plus there didn't seem to be any adverse reaction from Jamil toward Rook for the entirety of book 5. And Rook is so desperately honest and true to himself that it contrasts completely with Jamil who still struggles to find himself after a lifetime of lying. He'd be a good push for Jamil to be more honest too, a good influence.
In relation to the N2 squad, here's my answer : METAMOUR. I'm already polyshipping 24/7, it might not yet be completely obvious in my blog but I ship more OT3 than actual couples. I work better with 3+ characters relationships than regular couples. So since Vil, Leona, and Jamil are already dating, why couldn't I add Rook too? He's not part of the N2 squad, but he's such a constant shadow to Vil that it's hard to imagine them away from each other. Leona and Jamil would start dating him fully knowing Rook is there and not leaving. Really, Rook would probably be Vil's first boyfriend before Leona and Jamil become a thing.
That doesn't mean Leona and Jamil would necessarily start dating Rook though, and that's where the metamour happens. They all share Vil, but whether there is a relationship between Leona and Rook, or Jamil and Rook is up to... my mood, mostly xD Or reader's interpretation I guess. Maybe they just get comfortable simply sharing Vil, maybe they have a sort of queer platonic relationship, maybe they're all dating.
I tend to treat Rook as a bonus when it comes to N2, because he doesn't fit the group, but it's hard to imagine him away, and he's so stupidly supportive that he'd probably be a good influence on forever-depressed-Leona and desperately-confused-Jamil.
Tldr : Jamil and Leona would start dating Vil knowing Rook would be there anyway, so if they ever feel uncomfortable about it they can only blame themselves.
(Who'd you think held the camera in those illus?)
#look I'm a simple person#you give me love triangles or potential love interests and I mash them all together like puree#why should I chose when I can just have them all?#ask me anything#mello's drawings#twisted wonderland#twst#n2 squad#jamil viper#leona kingscholar#vil schoenheit#rook hunt#art#my art#leojami#leovil#javil#rookvil
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what I'm learning is that MXTX series really have ☆*: .。The Range。.:*☆ and that my first impressions often don't survive for very long...
MDZS, initial impression: ooh revived necromancer that everyone fears, this is going to be dark and revenge-fuelled
MDZS, subsequent impression: these are Silly Lil Guys off on a romcom murder mystery
SVSSS first impression: nerd who got isekai'd into a shitty novel, crybaby puppy dog imprints on him
SVSSS subsequent impression: how many times now has the love interest tortured the main character? should I start a tally?
(i've only just finished SVSSS bk2, please no spoilers!!)
#mdzs#svsss#wangxian#bingqiu#wei wuxian#lan wangji#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#wwx#lwj#sqq#lbh#to be clear this is something i LOVE about these books#the fact that mxtx can really balance tragedy and humour so well makes them really addictive#the contrast really makes the comedic/romantic highs all the higher and the suffering all the worse#however svsss really took me by surprise xD the ONLY thing i've seen about it from my dashboard is Big Crying Eyes Luo Binghe#i kind of expected a Pure Comedy#so i was Unprepared when the blood parasites came into play#into it though 👀👀👀👀#i'm so sorry sqq i'm doing you so dirty in that gif but all i knew was ''isekai''#and i have a very biased view of what isekai protags are like 😂😂😂#also you guys have LIED to me i don't think i've seen lbh cry EVEN ONCE where are the big sad puppy eyes????#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#scum villain#my art
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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In which Ford struggles so badly to relate to other people that he wonders if he’s really human at all. The more isolated he becomes, the harder it is to reconcile with his own humanity.
#my art#gravity falls#Stanford pines#ford pines#bill cipher#comic#eye strain#TIME TO DUMP EVERY ONE OF THE 27483949 THOUGHTS IVE HAD INTO THE TAGS BABY#OK!! SO!!!!#I feel like Ford would wonder why he and Stan (being identical twins) aren’t. yk. identical. shouldn’t Stan have polydactyly too?#as a kid he would dream about secretly being nonhuman and being whisked away to a fantastical world full of people like him#finally free of new jersey‚ finally somewhere he belongs#a lot of this disconnect from humanity came from utterly failing at social interactions while others (including stan) navigated them easily#the feeling waned after Stan was kicked out and he didn't have that direct comparison but it never left#then out in the wilderness of gravity falls‚ his isolation and immersion in Weirdness dragged it back up to the forefront#he deserves to have a breakdown over questioning his own nature. as a treat <3#color symbolism time bc I have a problem and use it at every available moment!!! blue and yellow get more vivid#the further from humanity the subject is#bill is entirely made w pure rgb blue and yellow (+ approximately 2674835 textures/layers/blending modes. I reached 150+ layers. help)#I like the idea that he would appear to ford like pure math considering hes a geometrical motherfucker and how the rest of the mindscape wa#I tried to mostly use trigonometry and related stuff for the Math Greebling. as well as fractals i love you forever fractals#MORE SYMBOLISM:#the grid-ish diamond pattern in all of the mindscape bgs (and elsewhere) is a penrose diagram of spacetime#which shows other universes on the other sides of black holes#SOMEONE ASK ME ABOUT MY EUCLYDIA HEADCANON LATER. IVE DUMPED ENOUGH DUMB HCS IN THESE TAGS ALREADY#BUT I THINK ITS VERY FUN#anyways. fuckt up guys n their egos influencing how they view humanity. bill tells ford hes as human as they come bc he was so easily foole#ford cant reconcile with his humanity bc of a failure to perform in one area#and then the immense guilt and shame over what hes done <3#I have So many ford characterization thoughts. no man nor god can stop me
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I have seen a few DCxMarvel dimension travel fics, and quite a few of them are of them are Peter Parker post-blip. Which gives me a crack fic idea: everyone who got snapped ended up in the DC universe. Yes, all of them.
The current world population is around eight billion, so half of that would be 4 billion... Yeah that would cause so so so many problems. But the DC universe is used to crazy shit.
Obviously there would be a sudden influx of "new" heroes and villains but with absolutely no context it is hard to figure out who is who.
Batman immediately trying to make contingency plans for all these new heroes and villains as well as figure out their civilian identities but this is very difficult because literally no records exist yet.
Magic users from both worlds team up, but I think they were still unable to fix it, the infinity stones were just too powerful. Also I think Dr. Strange and Constantine can't stand each other.
While I am at it, Wonder Woman and Loki would probably hate each other too. DC is more Greek but it has had their own version of Norse mythology, so maybe they are the same and have beef?
They would struggle to feed and house that many new people, but getting them jobs and integrating them into society would be hard too. And good luck proving anything anyone says. "You swear you have a law degree from Harvard? Okay I guess."
Do doubles exist? Yeah a lot of people probably don't have an alternate universe double, but it stands to reason some do. How do you deal with having a new kind-of twin? Or a dead friend or relative coming back, but different? Or even someone you never knew/doesn't exist in this world insisting they are family.
Some au double ideas I have seen people toss around are: Dick Grayson as Richard Parker, Kara Danvers as Carol Danvers, Steve Trevor as Steve Rogers, and Slade Wilson as/being somehow related to Wade Wilson, but I am sure there are other fun ideas out there too.
The snap didn't just affect humans/earth! So other planets are having the same problems.
Then randomly, five years later, just when people were getting used to the change, they all disappear again without warning. This causes as many problems as the original appearance did.
#dc#dc comics#marvel#dc x marvel#marvel x dc#marvel dc crossover#dc marvel crossover#dc universe#marvel cinematic universe#dimension travel#batman#the snap#the blip#spiderman#dick grayson#wonder woman#loki#i confess i have a soft spot for dick as Peter's dad ever since i first saw the idea#i want matt and foggy to be one of the snapped purely so foggy can make a joke about batman and Matt's own batlike abilities#alternatively maybe the dc team up actually does manage to fix things early and Thanos is like 'the fuck???'#there is a lot of potential here for both angst and comedy depending on how you want to do it#i mostly imagine this as a comedy but honestly it would be a good drama#but tbh i am more interested in the ways these characters can be forced to interact for comedy purposes#do you understand my vision Internet?#you can tell i have no idea what to tag this as#i just love these types of fics and think this would be a fun crack au#does something similar exist yet? obviously lots of crossovers exist but usually it is just a few characters.#i want q bunch of them being forced to interact for an extended period of time#if such a fic exists please let me know lol
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Alright, here is the new hat I made! I don't have any good pictures of me wearing it on Mackinac Island yet, and it doesn't look quite right without the big Gibson Girl hair, haha, but here is me looking otherwise very ordinary on my front porch, haha!
This was my first time making a wire-frame hat completely from scratch, which first looked like this:
And then this:
And then finally This!
From there, I covered the entire frame in a base layer of white nylon tulle (the original would have been silk, but it's getting covered up and I'm not made of money! 😅). I then covered the underside of the brim with silk chiffon (leftover from trimming my ball gown), gathered, tucked, and shirred by hand. The upper brim was covered with an antique lace collar I found on eBay, and the crown with an extra double layer of tulle and silk chiffon before sewing on an antique lace doily I've been saving for YEARS for this exact purpose. I then added celadon green silk charmeuse (ALSO leftover from trimming my ball gown) and one perfect vintage pink rose.
I didn't have time to add a lining to the inside yet, but I'm really happy with how it turned out, and very proud that I made it start-to-finish in two days! 😊
#Sewing#Historical costuming#Edwardian#Hats#Millinery#I've decided that I REALLY like millinery!#It's an almost purely design-based sculptural art form#Which CAN make it more difficult to learn if you don't have an 'eye' for it#But I DO (if I'm allowed to think that about myself haha)#I love hats! I love designing making AND wearing them!
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it's really cute when a character is completely obsessively devoted to someone they are entirely aware is toxic. submissive not because they're naive but because they are completely content with being taken advantage of.
#i like when it isn't just pure ''oh i love you no matter what'' and is in fact an all-consuming sort of madness#spiraling them ever-closer to destroying themselves and their beloved if they don't comply.#''you can take advantage of me. i am a tool for you in exchange for you being mine. but being mine is non-negotiable''#''and you have already signed the contract by biting first'' sort of vibes#lamb with poisonous blood and a wolf out of their depth and unprepared for how hungry the lamb's obsession is. moe.#not fandom#what im saying is i like when both parties in the relationship are a little fucked up
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Thinking about the crazy love triangle situation in Blue Eye Samurai and debating heavily with myself on how I'd like to see it conclude. And yeah this discussion can be thought of purely as shipping, headcanons, and fandom fun. But when analysing the show and engaging with it in a more in-depth, almost-literary level, it's impossible to dismiss who Mizu's potential love interests are and how different endgame romances would affect her character arc and the overall story and themes.
So in this post I'd like to look at the love triangle a bit more closely, and speculate on where the story will take this.
DISCLAIMER: It is my personal interpretation of the text that Mizu is non-binary—I use this as an umbrella term denoting any gender that does not adhere to the binary restrictions, norms, and expectations of what it means to be either a man or woman in a particular society; it's not just an androgynous "third gender" that exclusively uses they/them pronouns. Thus, while I personally believe Mizu is not strictly a cis woman, she does still identify with womanhood, despite definitely feeling a level of detachment from it due to living as a man for so long. With that being said, I will be using she/her pronouns for Mizu in this post, but please note that this is purely personal preference. Everyone is free to interpret the text the way they like. That's the fun of fiction. Now, without further ado, let's proceed.
Okay so, thinking about the pairings on a purely surface level, and even before i got into the show, I was pinning my hopes on some lesbianism going on between Mizu and Akemi, and the show does hint at this; in Ep1, during their first encounter in Kyoto, there is the famous slow-mo shot of their eyes meeting, Mizu's lips slightly parted as she is unable to tear her gaze away from Akemi, while sweet string music plays in the background. This is clear romantic framing, and a marker of attraction. If Mizu was a cishet man, there would be no question that this is a potential love interest.
But then, in the same episode, we meet Taigen, who is introduced to us firstly from hearing Akemi's father describe him as "a fierce and undefeated young samurai", the "best swordsman in the best school" and "a fisherman's son from Kohama [...] whose rise reminds [him] of [his] own."
In the next scene, we meet him in person as Akemi's fiance, and he seems sweet enough. He even gives her sweets! In exchange, Akemi gives him gold, and he feels a bit ashamed that he doesn't have anything better to offer her. But Akemi accepts him and his gift wholeheartedly and flirts with him a little, which makes him smile kinda shyly.
When Akemi confirms their engagement, Taigen is in disbelief because he has no status or noble background, but Akemi reassures him.
So from these first few scenes, we're introduced to Taigen as an honourable and strong samurai, but also as a man who is sweet and gentle with the woman he is about to marry, as well as aware of his own inferiority when compared to Akemi's high station.
Our view of him then changes as his true self is revealed: he is an arrogant and smug bastard among his peers, but more importantly, he is the terrible bully from Mizu's childhood.
And it is this side of Taigen--pompous jerk and unrepentant xenophobic bully--that we continue to see as the show goes on, and it's safe to say that this is his real self, sans any pretense of humility and modesty. Around anyone who isn't an outright superior in terms of class and power (ie. Akemi's father, the shogun), Taigen never hesitates to assert his own authority and "greatness."
But as the show goes on, he gets caught by Heiji Shindo's men, and then tortured. And that's when we see, okay, turns out he's not that bad. He's honourable; "honour" is not just meaningless and superficial pedantry for him, but an internalised, guiding principle.
He was a cruel asshat throughout Mizu's childhood, but in a prejudiced and xenophobic society, he was just playing by the rules. As a child, he knew he was at the bottom of society, but when met with someone even lower ranked than him (Mizu), he can project all those prejudices and insecurities onto someone else. This way of thinking--"if you can't beat 'em, join em"--is what allowed him to climb up the ranks despite being some dirt poor kid from an abusive household*.
*Well, that combined with his cismale privilege of course, because this would not be an option for a woman in similar circumstances.
Thus, his upholding of honour also exemplifies how Taigen embodies the ideals and rules of his society. His insistence on duelling Mizu is another more blatant example of this. He doesn't want revenge like Mizu does. He wants to be accepted by society, within the bounds that society has placed, and that means that his only two options following his defeat at the Shindo dojo were to either chase Mizu down and get his damn duel, or kill himself for his humiliating defeat.
Now! Moving on from Taigen, let's go back to the other end of this little love triangle: Akemi.
Mizu and Akemi only properly meet in Ep4. During their first meeting, when Akemi tries to poison Mizu in Madame Kaji's brothel, she compliments Mizu's eyes, calling them "beautiful."
This seems to genuinely take mizu off-guard for a second before she coolly plays along. We know that Mizu recognises Akemi from the get-go, and thus sees through Akemi's ploy from a mile away. It's also safe to assume she'd expected false flattery, because Mizu understands full well that this tactic is how women get what they want: by using their 'feminine wiles' and playing up their naivety and innocence. But even so, it's interesting that Mizu actually seems surprised by Akemi's compliment.
Then, after Mizu subtly taunts Akemi by lying about Taigen's death, she and Akemi have a bit of a scuffle, and then we get to Mizu saying this:
"Women in our world don't have a single good option. Except you, like some magical forest creature. You could have anything you want, but then you beg to eat trash."
(no screenshot because it's quite a long line but you get it)
Here we see Mizu's opinions on the marginalisation of (mostly poor and under-privileged) women stated outright, and underlying her words is also resentment. Because even though she and Akemi have shared experiences of female oppression, Mizu, unlike Akemi, was also poor, from a rural village, and is a racial minority. Mizu is triply oppressed, while Akemi only faces one primary form of oppression, and to someone as embittered by the world as Mizu is, to see Akemi "beg to eat trash" is a slap in the face, practically tone-deaf to the other injustices around her--injustices which Akemi has not shown much, or any, acknowledgement for at this point.
Then, after this scene, Mizu kills Kinuyo, and this unsettles her to a degree we've never seen from her before. She is visibly distraught, and the entire sequence hammers the theme of this episode (and arguably, a large portion of the show) into our heads: women in this world suffer. And even though Mizu is well aware of this fact, to commit this act is so visceral that is shakes her to her core, and it's what ultimately leads to the ambush of the Thousand Fangs.
But before the ambush, Mizu and Akemi talk a little again, and during this time Akemi taunts Mizu some more.
Right now, Mizu is exhausted to the point where (I believe) she even downs some sake, despite not usually drinking. Thus, worn down, she cuts Akemi's ropes and tells her, "Just go." Akemi recovers from her initial fear of Mizu's blade and taunts her some more, accurately seeing through Mizu's facade of coldness, recognising the raw anger there, and says this:
"I thought you had to be something special. Your face isn't even so scary. You're just... angry."
At this, Mizu is amused and compares Akemi to Taigen ("I see why he likes you. You're just like Taigen when we were children. A fucking brat.")
The reveal that Mizu and Taigen knew each other in childhood surprises Akemi, but before either of them can say more, everything goes to shit.
That's when we get to Ep5. This episode focuses primarily on Mizu, the central piece of this love triangle, and does the most out of all the episodes to shed some light on her character and goals, fleshing her out to be more than just the vengeful, highly proficient samurai we've seen thus far (symbolised by The Ronin), but also a person who is capable of love, domesticity and gentleness (symbolised by The Bride). But in the end, Mizu rejects both these ideals, instead becoming an Onryo, who is neither guided by pride/honour, nor love.
By 'reincarnating' into an Onryo, Mizu is able to win the day and save the women in the brothel. However, as she has now fully embraced her status as an Onryo, and is exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally, she lets the Tokunobu clansmen take Akemi away while Akemi's screams echo in her ear.
Mizu says this choice is for Akemi's own good, that Akemi's better off; because Mizu is jaded and weary, and cannot afford the luxury of idealism, and thus must always be strictly practical and realistic. So of course that's why, in her view, yes, Akemi should not be wasting her time in a brothel where women are exploited and abused, nor should Akemi be so naive to think that her marriage with Taigen is even still possible. However, regardless of Mizu's views, it is not for her to decide, because though Akemi is privileged in some sense, she is still trapped and voiceless, and deserves the right to choose her own destiny.
But as it happens, in the end, though Akemi did not choose who she gets to marry, she DOES get to choose her next move when Edo burns down.
"I want to be great."
This one line is the key to her entire arc, which is only just beginning. We see she quickly has acquired the affection and good graces of the shogun's son after their wedding night and consummation, and with Madame Kaji and the girls now serving her, Akemi will only grow to become a prominent political player.
NOW, only after analysing the characters as they are within this season, only can we speculate how their arcs will continue as the show progresses.
First and foremost, I will reassert the popular opinion that Mizu and Akemi are foils. The climax (pun intended) of Ep7 illustrates this as it parallels the turning points in both Mizu's and Akemi's arcs:
Mizu melts the steel of all her loves and shames, the people she's collected: the broken blade wielded by both Chiaki and Taigen, Akemi's knife, Ringo's bell, Master Eiji's tongs - this symbolises her beginning to accept herself, and in doing so, also accepting the help of others;
Akemi consummates her marriage with Takayoshi Itoh, gains his affection, and cements her position as a woman in the shogun's palace - this symbolises her taking charge of her situation, no longer playing the damsel, but using her position to her advantage, empowering both herself and the underprivileged women around her.
These are thus two directly contrasting, diverging journeys:
Mizu's arc moves inward (yin). It is an internal path of self-love and self-discovery, focused on finding peace and tranquility inside herself, and this involves allowing herself to let others into her life, opening herself up to friendship and empathy once more.
Akemi's arc moves outward (yang), it is an external path of growth, transforming from a naive, caged princess to a powerful woman and a force to be reckoned with.
Akemi is always dressed in red, even her eyes are a bit of a reddish-brown rather than brown-black like most other characters, and in her penultimate scene she stands against a backdrop of flames. She is fire: quick-tempered, passionate, full of energy. Red is powerful, authoritative, and in eastern cultures, it is associated with prosperity.
Mizu is blue: her eyes, her sword, her clothes. She is also named after water; it's where she goes to recover, reflect and meditate. Water is fluid like a brook weaving around a stone in its path, always changing and adapting, it is graceful, it is beautiful and ruthless, tranquil yet swift.
Thus, in the future, I expect we will see plenty of political manoeuvring and intrigue in Akemi's plotline, where she fully embraces control of her life, and begins to take action to help others as well, realising that her own oppression is just one piece in a much larger picture. Her main conflict is with society.
In direct contrast, Mizu's main conflict is with herself. She must realise that her desire for vengeance is a projection of her own deep-rooted self-hatred. Her arc must move towards unpacking her feelings and trauma so she can be at peace with herself and allow space for love in her heart. Because as we saw in Ep5, Mizu had come extremely close to achieving peace and joy, as she had not only loved Mikio, but also had briefly believed that Mikio had loved her (and accepted her for who she is) as well.
Thus, assuming the story is not planned as a tragedy, Mizu will likely end up getting her vengeance, but it will not satisfy her, because it is not what she needs. What she needs is to let go of the Onryo within her and to reconcile both The Ronin and The Bride within herself, as she is both a fighter and a lover, but not a monster.
(Edit: I recommend checking out this post by @stylographic-blue-rhapsody for a much clearer analysis about Mizu'a symbolism as Ronin, Bride and Onryo!)
And now that we've mostly covered each of the characters individually, we can finally get to the main point of this post: the love triangle.
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Let's talk about Option A: Akemi.
As I covered extensively earlier, Mizu and Akemi are foils, a yin-yang pair. But while they play off each other very well in a thematic sense, I personally believe that a serious romance between them will be more complicated if they become endgame. This is because Akemi's natural resolution is to embrace a position of power and influence, where she has both freedom and control over herself and to make much-needed changes in a prejudiced society. Meanwhile, Mizu's natural resolution is the opposite; her happy ending would to find a peaceful life where she is safe and free from prying eyes, and able to be her true self.
Thus, it would make very little sense for Akemi to forfeit power and run away with Mizu and start a humble life together. Akemi wants to be great, and that is absolutely what she deserves. On the other end of the spectrum, it would also make little sense for Mizu to dedicate her life in service of Akemi, such as acting as a bodyguard or something similar, because a life in a palace full of court intrigue and conspiracies is far from what Mizu needs to be happy.
With that being said, if Mizu/Akemi is endgame, and assuming their overarching character arcs do not shift directions, their love story would likely be either tragic, doomed, or bittersweet. I do absolutely love this type of story because personally I'm a sucker for catharsis, so it would be very interesting if the writers do decide to take this route.
Also, as a note, please do not take this as me dunking on this pairing. This is just my personal opinion and analysis and I completely understand if you disagree!
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Then, of course, we have Option B: Taigen.
Between Akemi and Mizu, Taigen is a bit of a free-floater here, because Season 1 leaves off at a point where his arc is very ambiguous as to where it's headed. While Akemi climbs for greatness and Mizu goes on a journey across the ocean to (presumably) discover more about her heritage, we have little clues about where Taigen is headed. And if I'm being honest, I'm sure he has no idea either! He still hasn't reclaimed his honour, so he would be unable to rejoin the Shindo Dojo; he's been rejected by Akemi; and while he showed loyalty to the shogun, the shogun is now dead, and all the shogun's men who had witnessed his "humiliating" death were left to die by Lady Itoh, who is now pulling the strings within the palace.
Therefore, Taigen has very few options here.
And when considering his role in the story is as Mizu's begrudging ally, his arc will undoubtedly be focused on unlearning his xenophobia and misogyny, the latter of which we have not seen yet, but is surely present. Now, whether he will do this in Mizu's presence or absence will be unknown until we see Season 2. Following the Season 1 finale, he might return to Kohama and wait for Mizu there as he learns humility and remorse over his past cruelty; or maybe he will follow Mizu to London, and the two of them will continue to butt heads until he finally admits to himself that he cares for Mizu more than he would like to admit. There is no room for doubt that his growing feelings for Mizu are more-than-platonic, because we all saw him get turned on by sparring with her in Ep7 lol. Thus, regardless of the exact choice he makes, I am sure that his overall arc will be focused on redeeming his character.
Now, when it comes go redeeming him, I know there are many who simply don't want him redeemed because he was such a jerk to Mizu, and while yes I agree he was awful, I do believe there is also nuance to his character.
Previously I've discussed in great detail the colour and elemental symbolism with Mizu and Akemi, but have yet to touch on how they relate to Taigen. So, let's talk about that for a second.
While Akemi is red and Mizu is blue, Taigen is green.
Green is a complementary colour to Akemi's red. Complementary colours are directly opposite each other in the colour wheel; when mixed, they neutralise each other, but when put side-by-side, they form a pleasing and impactful contrast that boosts the brightness and prominence of both colours. This mirrors Taigen and Akemi's relationship. They are an "ideal" pair because they complement each other very well, and bring out each other's most prominent traits. Mizu's comment about their similar "brattiness" comes to mind here.
Green is also an analogous colour with Mizu's blue. These colours are sitting right next to each other on the colour wheel; their natural similarity makes it easy for them to form a cohesive overall appearance, but using both in equal amounts will make a design overwhelming and too busy. Thus, the best way to use analogous colours is to make one the dominant colour, while the other will serve as an accent. I feel this also speaks to the dynamic in Taigen and Mizu's relationship. They came from the space place, both from nothing; they're both strong fighters who love the sport, and work well together when fighting side-by-side; however, they butt heads too easily, mirroring how analogous colours can be too overwhelming when used in equal amounts. Thus, to work together in harmony, one has to be the dominant colour, while the other serves as the accent. In this case, the dominant force would be Mizu, as she is the protagonist of the story, while the accent would be Taigen.
By fulfilling this role as an "accent" to Mizu, Taigen's character would easily be slotted in as a the love interest. This is in contrast with a Mizu/Akemi relationship, whereby Akemi is Mizu's foil before she is Mizu's love interest. This is because, by being a love interest, a character usually takes a backseat in the story, serving the plot and the themes by playing a purely supportive role, and this is not possible in Akemi's case because her character exists to parallel and contrast Mizu (red and blue), and not to support her.
It is possible to serve as a supporting love interest in Taigen's case however. And this is because he, unlike the other characters, does not currently have a definitive place within the story. He initially served the plot as an antagonistic force, but now as he is slowly unlearning his prejudices and becoming a better person, he can no longer serve the story by acting purely as a rival.
Instead, he will serve the story by literally supporting Mizu. And this relates to Taigen being earth, which is steady, firm and reliable, unwavering in loyalty and principles, hardworking and rooted in stability, which is seen in Taigen's staunch and inflexible obedience to the traditions and rules of society. These traits are what make him a perfect samurai, but not a good man. However, unlike most people in their world, Taigen is still capable of change and redemption, which is why Mizu says that he has the potential to be great. Not great by way of power or glory, but great in character. Already, he is honourable to a fault, and does not betray Mizu even after she technically robbed him of everything he was striving towards. And when he was shot by an arrow in the chasm, he did not hesitate a second to tell Mizu to use him as a human shield and save herself.
The trigger for his redemption is Mizu. If she had never beat him in that duel, Taigen would live on to become a man like Akemi's father. Cruel, power-hungry, controlling, conservative. But through Mizu, Taigen's sharp edges are ground down, much like water that wears down the stones in a river.
Where Mizu and Akemi's possible love story would be a clash of wills, full of passion and even heartbreak, a possible love story between Mizu and Taigen would be the wearing down of souls. Mizu would make Taigen a better person, and in turn Taigen would dedicate his full respect and support to Mizu as his equal, thus getting her to slowly open up and love herself. Already, Taigen has grown enough to admit (begrudgingly, and in his own Taigen way) that Mizu is better than him; though, clearly, he still has a long way to go, as he still calls Mizu a demon shortly after that.
But basically, Taigen is a very simple man (his main goal now is "to be happy"), and Mizu has great depths that he cannot yet fathom. For this love story to work, it has to begin with Taigen changing for the better. If he succeeds in that, and is able to accept Mizu for all her complexities, I believe that they will make a formidable pair. And though he'd likely still throw a jab or snarky remark at Mizu every now and then, I think he'd come tl wholeheartedly admire Mizu as a brilliant swordsman and a kind soul. Thus, should things work out and this be endgame, Taigen would be able to provide Mizu with what Mikio could not: an idyllic life that is not built on a lie, but mutual trust, respect, admiration, and equality.
Or hey, maybe they could both make their own dojo together! I don't know.
(Edit: This post by @rinandsketches does a great job at delving into Taigen's character and a potential Mizu/Taigen relationship if you'd like to read more about this angle!)
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Now, as I move on from Taigen, there are a couple more options on how to resolve this love triangle and that includes Option C: Ringo.
In this option, Mizu does not have an endgame romance with either Akemi or Taigen. In this route, she finds peace and love through friendship, solidarity, and a found family between herself, Ringo and Master Eiji—a bunch of outcasts in society who make a strong trifecta of sword-makers.
Also, as an aside while I'm talking about Ringo, I'd like to point out that I believe his element is air and his colour is a neutral grey; he is talkative, easy-going, wise, curious, light on his feet (stealthy) and free-spirited, which are all traits linked to air, and traits that complement Mizu nicely, as he is capable of getting Mizu to open up and trust others again, while Mizu helps him reach his true potential for greatness.
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And finally, there's Option D: Polyamory.
This is basically an "all of the above" option, in which everyone wins and it's a super duper happy ending. It would also be awesome to get some polyamorous representation, and seeing the dynamic between Akemi/Mizu/Taigen play out would be very entertaining and refreshing. So, you never know, this just might be the true endgame!
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AAAAND with that, I close my extremely long analysis of what is essentially Mizu's love life. Whatever the final outcome of this love triangle though, I just hope it will be well-written and satisfying to all the characters' respective arcs. (Also I just want Mizu to be HAPPY goddamn it because she deserves the world and her coochie eaten out)
Now, I highly doubt anyone will read any of this (especially not until the end!) but that's fine. I just have so many thoughts and feelings about this show and I just needed to get this out of my system lol! But if by some miracle you did read this far, I wholeheartedly welcome any sharing of thoughts and ideas because man am I obsessed with this show! But of course, if we have an opposing opinions, please be respectful when letting me know; I am very open to friendly discussions.
#blue eye samurai#mizu x taigen#mizu x akemi#mizu blue eye samurai#mizu x akemi x taigen#blue eye samurai meta#also if you ask me PERSONALLY. based on my own analysis which you can read above. personally i'm placing my bets on option b (mizutaigen)#and this is simply bcs i think mizu deserves nice things and that includes getting dicked down and pampered and worshipped#whoops who said that#also mizu deserves to live a life where she can hand taigen's ass to him on a daily basis. ykwim.#BUT i am def open to a change of opinion regarding the mizuakemi rship as the story progresses#i just dont want the writers to reduce akemi into nothing but a love interest for mizu#the only way i can see a happy mizuakemi endgame scenario is if blue eye samurai becomes purely an angsty romance story#in which case then yes i fully endorse the akemi ending <3#but that would probs require a whole genre overhaul? bcs currently the show is firstly an action-epic where the romance is just a subplot#but even tho i dont reeeeally want a mizuakemi endgame i still DEF want mizu & akemi to be romantically and/or sexually involved plsss <3#like they cant have that slow-mo shot between the two of them as their first encounter and NOT DO ANYTHING W IT!!!#also i want mizu to be at LEAST a little sapphic plsplspls#shut up haydar#meta dissertations.pdf#haydar's fandom posts#i wrote this whole thing while delirious and covid positive
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idk someone about bones or whatever
#should've just yoinked someone else's design and reference them#i feel like im drawing bloodhound/velahound/octane/omen/kayo/shaxx/kaiser all at the same time#i basically just look at a body part and see what my brain has for it and slap it on#probably the worst you can go for character design#doesn't have a lot of bones because i can't come up with any original design and i don't wanna actually search for any reference for ideas#oh well. i literally came up with this only when i need to draw his lineart for yesterday's comic so not exactly surprising#i love capes and mysterious hooded pure black shadowed head so not even gonna design a helmet for him#also solves the bone plug issue because for the love of void i can't even understand half of what ordan is saying#that's the consequence of giving all your skill points on mathy stuff and none on literature#i mean i guess the bone plugs are somewhere at or above the neck??? so it's gonna be covered up anyways#im probably gonna go for roughly this design for ordan karris for now#i feel like i shouldn't even let him talk because any dialogues i come up with ruins his image#but idk. how many cool and stern characters' image have i ruined up until this point? yeah definitely not the first time#warframe#warframe ordan karris#my art
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haha annual touden sibling fight to decide who got to name the dogs. do you ever think about what a colossal failure of parenting it is to sit back and let your children duke it out when you have the power to implement the obvious solution of having them alternate turns.
"laios named more of the dogs" of course he did. pov youre falin and you want something and it doesnt matter because your brother who is three years older than you is holding you down. he is three years older and he's bigger, and he always will be
like i dont at all think that laios like, physically hurt his sister in these fights or that either sibling remember these as traumatic but like i do think this had to teach falin that her desires didnt matter because when she was small she had something she wanted and it wasnt fair that she never got it and nobody fucking cared
and laios didnt care cause he was a fucking child and, while a caring person, not naturally empathetic. he wanted to name the dog! Its not either of the siblings fault that their dad, like with the mythical significance of the dog names, just did shit and never fucking explained any of it to them
anyway i think if the touden siblings fought again falin would 100% kick laios ass. girl is slanging a lamp post like it has the weight of a pool noodle, and more importantly, both she and laios think laios is going to win so while he's doing older sibling bullshit like making sure he doesnt hurt her, she is haymakering him at a 100% strength and whatever happen happens she can piece together his jaw and heal it after the fact
#Dungeon meshi#Laios touden#falin touden#Touden siblings#my post#Srsly how can you love a myth enough to name a dog but not want to tell it to your children#I think 1. Laios dad might have seen his children purely as for fulfilling a social role (village chief)#Without ever thinking of them as. Yknow. People#2. Also could 100% be meant to be read as autistic and his silence and awkwardness and rampant love of dogs#(1/yr?!? thats a lot)#Your dad is just like you and he still didnt raise you horror
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[10]
Ohhh. Now that is striking. This frame in particular.
You could read as many metaphors as you like into how this matches the general Watanuki narrative here - Watanuki mirrored against a distorted image of himself. Is that his past self? Or Lava Lamp? Or the hole in the universe he's causing? His grief? The general weight of his existence? The influence he has on other people's lives? They all work well, especially with one Mokona being black and one being white.
But also (Bad Apple plays softly in the distance)
OH HELP, THAT IS TOO MUCH.
I AM OVERCOME WITH EMOTION.
It doesn’t even matter which Sakura is his mother, honestly it’s such a Sakura move. For his new name to be a literal promise that they will see him again.
So, that way, his an existence proof of their promise. Every moment ‘Kimihiro Watanuki’ exists that means their promise lives on. And every time someone says his name, it’s like their words are reaching him all over again.
OH HELP THAT’S TOO MUCH.
And that’s such a cute way to round it off! Watanuki hears Lava Lamp’s voice echo through the universe, making him promise not to vanish. And this time Watanuki can accept it honestly, because he’s already decided to do the same - for the people around him and for Lava Lamp.
#This would honestly be the perfect emotional note to end the chapter on#Except I can see the file names and there are seven pages to go#Somehow!#Not liveblogging the reservoir chronicle#xxxholic#xxxholic 87#Yuuko Ichihara#Watanuki#Lava Lamp Guy#Doumeki#Mokona#Fun how this is the same time as the previous chapter#Watanuki is out here having a time with Doumeki#Meanwhile across town Yuuko is summarising The Story So Far#Just so all the readers are caught up#Just in case!#Because she could leave at any moment!!!#But also how lovely that Watanuki's parents made a promise with his name#And his brother made this parallel promise that amounts to the same thing#and even though he's not with any of them there are layers upon layers of hopes in his survival#purely out of love#and he feels it all the way across the universe
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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