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trappedinafantasy37 · 2 months ago

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Cult dissection part 3? 4? I don't know, anyway, the next cult topic I want to talk about is the lack of autonomy. Members are expected to give their bodies over to the cult and to The Idol. They are expected to be willing to give each and every part of themselves over, including in the form of a self-sacrifice where needed. Obviously, this does infer that a member's autonomy will be forcefully violated, but there is also this expectation that one willingly relinquishes control of their bodies over to the cult, and accept that their body is going to be used as a tool (and so this forceful violation isn't a true violation because it was in the Terms & Conditions that the cult and The Idol own the members body). In the event that the member does not willingly relinquish autonomy, other tactics will be employed such as force, coercion, or punishment.

Small tangent, but I promise this is relevant. In the real world, many of us have the misfortune of being aware of "purity culture". It is this worldview that sex is sacred, should only be done under certain conditions, and is intended to fulfill The Idol's desires and satisfactory in the eyes of The Idol (barf). It's a tactic used to enforce the idea that one's body isn't "theirs" and doesn't truly belong to them, but to The Idol. That only The Idol dictates what happens to them and they have no say in the matter. Another thing used to bolster this is something along the lines of "You were created in The Idol's image", as in The Idol created you and so only The Idol has final say over you.

But purity culture isn't just about sex and it is multifaceted. There is this purity of body if you will, which does include sex, but also things like tattoos, piercings, diet, medication, vaccinations, smoking, drinking, etc. We can also see a purity in appearance (or modesty) which includes hair (including hair styles, colors, and dyes), clothing (no showing shoulders, ankles, arms, etc) and strict dress codes, and even makeup. There is also a sense of purity in thought, which is basically just thought policing in which no bad thoughts about The Idol, no bad thoughts about the cult, no positive thoughts towards dissent or dissenters, no thoughts challenging The Idol's message. We can throw in moral purity (like sin) which includes no desires that The Idol doesn't like or approve of, temptation is bad and wrong. And there is even a purity of blood which is the idea that one's genetic makeup is sacred and it is necessary that one remains genetically pure, and anything that could "dilute" it or "taint" it should be avoided at all costs. Purity culture is thick and is a tool to not only strip someone of their autonomy and relinquish it to The Idol, but also enforces ideas of supremacy and eugenics. Whoo, tangent over! I promise it is still relevant, just bear with me here. This is still a post about BG3.

Durge and Orin are both shining examples of how autonomy is deprived of in a cult and both exemplify "purity". All the gods we encounter in the game do some pretty fucked up shit, but Bhaal and the Absolute are the only ones we see to forcibly take control and rob their followers of autonomy completely. Bhaal forcibly takes control of Durge or Orin when they both refuse to do what he wants. It may not be obvious to Orin as she has never refused an order until the end, but it is clear during the Act 2 scene that Bhaal can, and will, turn Durge into a slave if he has to. And if Durge loses the fight to Orin and destroys the brain, or embraces Bhaal but destroys the brain anyway, Bhaal outright steals Durge's body and does whatever he wants with it because Durge belongs to him. If Durge rejects Bhaal, Bhaal takes back his blood and kills Durge because the blood belongs to him, not Durge.

In the madness ending for Durge, it is implied that Bhaal is using Durge's body to commit a litany of sex crimes and using Durge to breed in the next generation of Bhaalspawn. All Bhaalspawn do have this urge to breed and thus have a different relationship with sex as opposed to other Bhaalists. If a Bhaalspawn is to engage in sex, it is to be done in the way Bhaal approves and that is to make more Bhaalspawn. I know we like to clown on Bhaal disapproving of Durgetash, but if we presume that Durge is canonically male, then Bhaal truly would not approve of Durgetash because it won't result in Bhaalspawn babies. It is also why I have the headcanon that Bhaal would have disapproved of Orin's infatuation with Minthara because it won't result in Bhaalspawn babies. There is a reason why irl cults are homophobic as gay sex doesn't result in babies, no babies means less members to control and less labor to be exploited. Homosexuality violates certain aspects of purity and since gay sex does not result in reproduction, it is perceived as "fun" and no fun allowed when you're in a cult!

We also cannot look past the incest stuff between Sarevok and Helena. You know, the same Sarevok who refers to Durge as the "most pure Bhaalspawn" (and the fact that Durge is the "most pure" is the reason why Bhaal and many other Bhaalists put Durge above all else). It was all done in an attempt to "spread Bhaal's seed" in the most pure form possible. I do not know how it went down, but knowing what I know of cults and cult leaders, Sarevok more than likely pressured the expectation to Helena that the only way to prove her devotion to Bhaal was to carry his child, that she was to use her body to nurture the purest Bhaalspawn she could make, and that it was her duty to. As another side tangent, I know that the incest stuff is more definitely apart of the character assassination of Sarevok and I'm not really going to argue on whether or not it is in character of Sarevok to do this. But there are some complaints out there saying that the incest stuff was unnecessary and was put in for the sake of being "edgy" and for shock value. All I am going to say about this is that incest is not unusual within some cults and it isn't unexpected for someone in Sarevok's position to take advantage of his power to coerce his own children. Especially when we are talking about a cult that does lean very heavily into the purity of bloodlines. I am not going to argue if the incest stuff should or should not have been in the game, I'm just saying that it does happen in irl cults. Do whatever you wish with that information.

And of course, Orin was to eventually be sacrificed to Bhaal to please him and restore his power, as that is the point of Orin's existence. I have talked about this previously, but the reason why all Bhaalspawn have the desire to breed, and then kill each other is because when a Bhaalspawn dies, their "godly essence" (if you can truly call it that since Bhaal isn't a true god anymore) returns back to Bhaal to fuel his resurrection and make him more powerful. He cannibalizes his children, they are expected to engage in this behavior, and they have no say in the matter. They were born to die and are only permitted to live under Bhaal's conditions. There are 4 Bhaalspawn that are in BG3 and all of them have either attempted to kill each other, or had a plan to kill each other.

And this is all done in an attempt to gain Bhaal's approval, to show Daddy Bhaal that they are the most pure Bhaalspawn and deserving to be Chosen. I have also made a post about this, but in an embrace Durge ending, Fel implies that Durge gets a romanced Minthara pregnant, or that she is the perfect candidate to immediately go impregnate (I prefer to think of it as the former as Daedra is female and this blog supports fpreg). In the event that Durge lets Minthara go and truly does save her until the end so she can have their baby, it just perpetuates the cycle because Durge and their offspring will be compelled to kill each other once the offspring comes of age and it's all because daddy says so and neither have a choice.

I never played the previous games and I do not know so much about Sarevok's background, so take this next part with a grain of salt. Based upon what I know of Durge and Orin, Sarevok did not truly have a choice. From my understanding, Sarevok acted of free will with the belief he had a choice. But Bhaal operates under the principle of "you do what I say when I say, or I will make you do it anyway. And you will not enjoy it when I make you." We can see this happen in the madness ending for Durge where it implies that Durge is still somewhat conscious and aware of what Bhaal is doing, but is trapped in their own body having been stripped of their autonomy and Bhaal taking control. We can also see this with Bhaal forcibly turning Orin into the Slayer against her will the one singular time she actually questions what she is doing. No Bhaalspawn is allowed to defy Bhaal, because none of them own their bodies, Bhaal does. If a Bhaalspawn does not relinquish their autonomy, no matter, Bhaal will just take it anyway.

Edit: added a picture

< Cults & Individuality: Orin | Cults & Autonomy: The True Souls >

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #durge #orin #orin the red #sarevok #cult dissection #i think i'm going to make these cult dissections posts a mini series and talk about how it impacts various characters #i think it is also interesting to see how different tactics within cults can fulfill multiple different purposes #my previous cult post was about individuality - well - that could also be used as a tool to strip one of their autonomy as well #and yes - there is a reason as to why i am dissecting the cults in the game and sharing my connections with ya'll #it is really more for me - but i just want to share them in case anybody else wants to follow along with me as i dissect cults #and maybe see the same things that i'm seeing - or perhaps get other opinions and thoughts

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butterflywithsass · 8 months ago

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Things I Wish I knew living on my own

This is gonna be pretty short at the moment (I'll add more later) because I haven't been living on my own for very long and I think there's still plenty that I still have to figure out. I'm also drunk as I write this so this might be rambling.

This is gonna be chock full of really obvious stuff for most people but stuff that really confused or stressed me out when I did it. It's also gonna have that obvious stuff that's not so obvious because no one really talks about it until you are on your own and you haven't the first idea how to start.

First things first. Money. You're gonna need it, so look up a bank that is in your area and look into the process of setting up an account. Some banks have this online, sometimes you need to walk into the bank and do it in person. In both cases, make sure you have a passport, birth certificate, or other ID on you, as literally everything you know about your financial state prior to this. Ask your parents if you need to, or someone who knows this, because they are gonna ask a lot of questions. Once you've got the account set up make sure to confirm your ID. I set up an account online, and since I forgot to do this step, I have now had my account deactivated and I need to start all over again. Don't be like me.

If you're in a foreign country like me, make sure you understand how the currency works, and set up a method to transfer funds without having to pay the tax every time. Set up an app like Wise or something similar so people can transfer you money and you can move it to your bank account. Make sure you have a rough idea of how much something is worth in each currency. I'm still adjusting to using pounds, and things would look really cheap until I realized that a pound is worth slightly more than a dollar.

Services. I mean stuff like wifi and tv and stuff. If you're a student, than your wifi is fine, just make sure you set it up right. Euroroam is a bitch, so make sure you google how to do it right and just follow it step by step. Ask for help. Just ask someone. I'm so serious. Another thing I'm struggling with is TV. In the UK you have to have a license for BBC iplayer. Don't listen to your British friends when they say you don't need it. You do. If you don't have it you will get prosecuted. I don't wanna get prosecuted. It's super easy, even if it's kinda expensive, and hey, you get access to everything BBC. Just google tvl.co.uk and something will turn up. You can use that super handy bank card you got when you signed up for the bank account.

Transport. buses, trains and shit. First of all, make sure you download all the apps and inform yourself on how they work. It's gonna be confusing especially if your an American country hick like me so nows the time to learn. Get the maps. Get the bus schedules and routes. Pin them on your wall. Also, There's often some super cool discounts you can get if you sign up. Where I am in Scotland at the moment there's such a thing as a YoungScot Card, where you can get bus fair free if you're under 22. If you're not in Scotland, chances are there is something like that if you look. Transport can add up. Don't get Uber or a Taxi unless it's your only option, in which case, GET THE UBER. It's better to pay a butload of money for transport than be stranded somewhere alone. Your safety is more important than money.

Printers. You will need them. Often, there will be documents that you need to sign on paper, and so a printer will be needed. Google places where you can get things printed. If you are a student, make figuring out how to print things at your campus library a priority. I'm about to invest in my own printer just so I can skip this process because it's exhausting.

Voting. Just because you're not in your own country, doesn't mean you shouldn't vote. I'm from America, and care very much about the results of the next presidential election. If you're already registered to vote, try and get an absentee ballot.

Which brings me to mail. Get some stamps, and make sure they are the right ones. There will be postcard stamps, and mail stamps, and international stamps. Get the international letter stamps for your ballot and put them on because mailing is not paid for outside of the US. Then fucking mail it! (I'm swearing at myself so I remember to do this part when I'm sober)

Phone number. You will need a new one. Get an Esim card (should be in your settings if you have an iPhone) Make sure your friends have your new number and test it out to make sure it works when you're in a new country. One thing about Europe, is that the old buildings really suck for phone reception. Also, if you want to make this simpler and can't remember numbers very well, use Whatsapp or Instagram to message people.

Mess. You may go into this with certain ideas of granduer when it comes to personal organization. Be real. You won't be any more organized or tidy on your own than you were with other people. Just make sure that the essentials are accounted for and forgive yourself for the rest. Keep a drawer or a basket for all that important shit like bank statements or that letter that says they're opening an investigation because you haven't bought a tv license so it's all in one place and you don't lose anything. If it's urgent, pin it on your wall (get a bulletin board for this). Do your laundry. If you have your own washing machine and dryer, good for you. I don't, so figure out how the system works with the communal washers and get on that. Once again ask for help. Wash your sheets. Wash your pillowcases. WASH YOURSELF.

Hygiene. I hate it too, but it will make you feel better about yourself if you are clean and your teeth are brushed. This is the first thing to go when you feel in a slump. I know. I hate showers. I hate brushing my teeth, but not doing it makes my self-esteem go down the drain and my depression goes on a victory lap. Just do it. If you can't do anything else on this list, or you feel like everything is too overwhelming, do this. It will make a lot of other things feel doable.

Food. Okay, scratch that. This might be the most important thing. I am currently making a late night dinner of dried mangos and wine because I didn't have the motivation do get dinner tonight which is a prime example of what not to do. Because now I'm drunk and hungry. Get a fucking fridge! Get a microwave! Go to the grocery store and buy food. Even if it's ramen or mac and cheese. At least it's food. At this point, don't worry about eating healthy, just eat. Since I'm not allowed a mini fridge or a microwave, I have to time my meals so I get into the dining hall on time which results in this... So if you're in a similar case, set alarms for meal times, and GO TO THEM! If you miss it. Find a place that has cheap takeout that you will eat as a fall back option.

Groceries. Find a grocery store that has the things you need, and see what kind of membership or regular discounts you can get. You will need it. Don't worry about buying too much food, or buying too much junk food. If you're gonna overspend on something, better it be this and not something else. Eventually, you will get a sense of what you actually like to eat and what you don't. But for now, don't be afraid to buy something just to try it because it might become your new favorite food. Make a running list on your phone of what you need to buy and don't worry about overbuying. If you buy something you don't eat or don't want, give it away! Your neighbors or classmates or friends might want it and food is always a good way to meet people and form connections. At my old school, I became known as the one who would always have a bag of storebought cookies on me in class if anyone was hungry and didn't have any other options. I was proud of that reputation.

Don't restrict your space. It can get easy to walk the same path every day, and never venture outside of the area you know well. But every so often, try and use that bus pass you got, and go a little further afield. Just wander. You don't have to have a goal. Just explore. Living in a new place is the perfect time to do this. I recently ended up in a random church just because the gate was unlocked and the door was open. I ended up accidentally eavesdropping on a late night discussion of eleventh-century catholic manuscripts or something I can't remember and came home with a pamphlet for the catholic church I'm never going to join but it was an experience. Make awkward conversations with the people you haven't met before because maybe you'll end up crushing really hard for her even though she's straight and has a boyfriend and you'll spend the next week hopelessly pining but at least it will be something to mark the passing of time, creeping at this petty pace from day to day. Maybe the way she describes how she's learning to dissect cadavers and the way her eyebrows tilt will inspire you.

It's okay to be lonely. It's hard to adjust to living in a new place. Especially if you're a student at a new school. It may feel like everyone is making friends but you. That may be true. You may find that your neighbor has already met a guy and they are really cute together, and they no longer really want to hang out with you. You may find that the person you connected with really well now longer remembers your name but that's okay. It is a superpower, knowing how to be comfortable on your own. It's something you must learn before you can make a lasting connection with anyone. Those people who are making friends so fast are doing it because they are afraid to be alone. You aren't afraid.

Don't overcomit. Sometimes, you might feel so guilty about not donating to a freind's program to help survivers of domestic abuse in africa that you offer to design a website for them. But yuu're swamped. You have three essays due next week and you need to have an opinion about Homer's portrayal of Ithaka and you're terrified every second you spend not working on your essays, so that yiu ccan't relax even during breaks because you're constantly thinking you're behind but now you have to design a website. Don't fucking do that, What were yoy thinking you fuckin idiot. Just give your freind the money and tell her you can't do it.

Keep in touch with people. Don't fall off the map. There are people you love who are still out there. Your gramma wants to know how you're doing so give them a call, but not when you're drunk that will just make her anxious. Call your freinds from your old school. Ask them how they're doing. When tey tell you they're going on a date be happy for them and don't think bout how single you are. Fuck.

Invest in your projects. Don't forget what you love. Join that Good Omens fanfiction group even though it's one of the few things that you're not obligated to do. Don;t forget your hobbies. Watch the thing that David Tennent was in even though you don't have any prior interest in true crime and watch yourself fall into another spiral of hyperfixation.

Read Shakespeare. Relate so hard. Spend an inordinate amount of time memorizing the Yoric soliquiy from Hamlet. Spend a fortune on tickets to see David Tennent play Macbeth in the west end. Let it be your light. The only thing you are looking forward too at the moment.

You'e on your forth glass of wine. You havent neber been this drunk before becuse you are a syupid American who has just moved to the Uk unserpivused. and you're stressing about exams. You were supposed to be working.

Goodbye!

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