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zosan-secondchances · 20 days ago

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The Pirate King of the North: The Tale of The Bird and The Fox

Main Themes: Villain Sanji, Alternate Universe, Zosan Ship

Warning: Long post ahead and some One Piece spoilers. Contains strong language.

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Doflamingo

That fuckin’ asshole!!! Stop them!!!

The crew on board the Numancia Flamingo scuffle about to lower their ship's sail further, attempting to catch up to a particularly fast snail just smaller than their own ship jetting ahead of them. Men at the helm angle the vessel, preparing themselves for the inevitable full frontal assault.

A tall man with long brown hair and blue eyes runs up to Doflamingo, hugging the railing of the ship desperately to stop himself from falling off the speeding ship travelling through rough waters.

Diamante

Doflamingo, there’s no chance! They’re way too fast for us!

Doflamingo

It’s a fuckin’ snail! How is it faster?!

Looking over at the highest point of the snail's shell, he sees a man with long locks of hair stand up straight. He growls angrily at the blonde’s devilish smile across his face.

Doflamingo

I swear to god, I’m going to wipe that shit-eating grin off the face of this world!!!

The blonde man laughs at his reaction and pokes his tongue out. He procures something out of his pocket and holds up the item in his hand, tossing it up and down playfully, taunting him in a challenging way.

Doflamingo spits at the sight of his desired Devil Fruit in someone’s hands. He turns his glare towards Diamante.

Doflamingo

I don’t care how, but I want that fucker dead!

The Numancia Flamingo manages to gain enough speed to sail alongside the fast snail. Doflamingo soon notices, however, that it’s not that their ship had gained speed, it’s the snail that had slowed down to pull up alongside them.

Doflamingo yells at his men to attack. His crew begins a barrage of cannonfire, aimed at the bulk of the snail’s shell. As the projectiles fly in the air, flashes of pink and red fly between the vessels. The cannonballs suddenly vanish without a trace.

Doflamingo

What the ever living fuck was that?! You call that an attack?! Keep firing!!!

His men panic and continue their cannonfire as ordered by their enraged captain.

Diamante

Young master!!! There’s no use! Something–someone keeps knocking them out in the air!

The blonde man reappears on the side of the snail’s shell, holding onto the ropes that are securely attached to it. He calls out to Doflamingo in a cheerful melody.

Sanji

Dooooffy~!

Doflamingo grits his teeth in irritation and runs towards the side of his own ship to face the man directly. He watches beams of pink and red continue their flight between their ships, somehow making their cannonballs disappear before they reach the snail.

Sanji brings out the Devil’s Fruit once more, twirling it at the tip of his index finger playfully.

Sanji

So…you come here often, love? What brings you to this part of the New World on this fine day?

Doflamingo

Mr. Prince! That’s not yours to take!

Sanji

Nah-uh! It was in our territory, hence it’s ours!

Doflamingo

You STOLE it from me, motherfucker! It’s rightfully mine!

And since when is this your territory?!

Sanji

Since we moved our fortress nearby!

Doflamingo

Your idea of expansion is a fuckin’ joke! Give it up or we will board your ship!!!

Sanji hooks his leg around the rope to keep himself tethered against the side of the snail’s shell. He runs his fingers along his jaw, thinking deep thoughts, while he continues to play with the Devil Fruit with his other hand.

Sanji

You’re so angry! Relax a bit, will you

Here’s the thing, Doffy, you are in our territory. You’re trespassing, speeding, threatening a fellow king and his subordinates, and now you’re attempting to steal from me? The gall!

Doflamingo

Don’t call me that! I barely know you!

Sanji

So? Let’s get to know one another then!

Would you be up for a candlelit dinner or are you a fuck-and-go kind of guy?

Doflamingo angrily slams his fists against the railing of his ship and turns to Diamante and his men.

Doflamingo

Board them!

Diamante

How can we make it over there when our cannonfire can’t even–

Doflamingo

I don’t care!!! Do it!

Diamante yells at their crew and stomps away to help them.

Sanji

Making real clumsy decisions there, my friend! I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You should be more carefu–!

At that, the Devil Fruit slips off his fingers. The blonde scrambles to catch it but it repeatedly slips from his grasp so he juggles it in the air clumsily before it finally falls off. Sanji tips himself backwards while keeping his legs hooked around the ropes to catch it in time with both hands.

Sanji

Whoops! That would have been bad, wouldn’t it?

Doflamingo

Fucker!!! Don’t you dare lose it!

Sanji pulls himself up and tosses the fruit up and down in his hand again.

Sanji

You are absolutely correct, Doffy!

…I should just eat it.

Sanji opens his mouth and teasingly holds the fruit between his teeth.

Doflamingo

NO!!!

They hear cries of help as Doflamingo’s men attempt to swing from the Numancia Flamingo over to the speedy snail. Out of nowhere, zaps of blue electricity shock the crew midair. They fall into the open water like rain between their ships.

A blue-headed man reveals himself from the other side of the snail then stands mightily on top of its shell. He crosses his arms, as if to declare that Doflamingo’s attempts are of no use.

Sanji

Mmphf Pmmmff Mmmffphf!

Doflamingo

Wh–What?!

Sanji spits out the undamaged fruit into his hand and throws Doflamingo a wide grin.

Sanji

I said that’s quite a moronic move, especially for you! I think they’re still alive though if you want to get your crew back!

Doflamingo

What the hell do you want from me, Mr. Prince?! What would it take for you to hand that over?!?

Sanji

I told you! I want a date!

Doflamingo feels the veins in his forehead pop. He then notices that the snail begins to slow down but the Numancia Flamingo continues to speed through the waters.

Sanji

Hey Doffy! Who’s driving?!

Doflamingo

…Eh?

Diamante runs up to Doflamingo once more, out of breath.

Diamante

Master… our men…

Doflamingo looks around and notices that there is no one else on deck except for him and his first mate. His eye twitches frustratingly at the sight. As if that's not troublesome enough, he hears sounds of footsteps from the lower levels. When he turns to see who it is, a man with green slicked back hair emerges from below deck, gripping two of his crew members by their heads with his massive hands as they cry for help. The green-headed man tosses them off the side of the ship casually, claps his hands clean and crosses his arms, looking bored.

Doflamingo

Who the fuck are you?!

Yonji

You might want to watch out where you’re going.

Doflamingo

Huh?

Diamante

Young master–!

The entirety of the ship suddenly surges forwards as the Numancia Flamingo beaches itself above a spiky rock formation at full speed. Doflamingo and Diamante get thrown backwards and they both land roughly against the far end of the ship. Debris from the front flies over and rains down on them.

The two groan at the sudden stop and take a moment to recover. When they look up, the green-headed man has already vanished from where he was standing.

Germa’s snail slows to a stop behind their beached ship. The blonde is now sitting on top of its shell while leaning his back against the blue-haired man who brings out a bamboo rod and begins fishing on the far side.

Sanji waves at the two remaining men on board the crashed ship.

Sanji

Hey! Need help, love?

Doflamingo and Diamante push debris off their bodies and struggle to stand. Doflamingo limps towards the back of the ship and throws Sanji a middle finger.

Sanji

Now why on earth did you crash your ship into this very stupidly large, hard-to-miss rock formation?

Doflamingo

You did this!

Sanji

It's not my fault that you're not paying attention!

Doflamingo

Fuck off already!

Sanji

Wait, I thought you're after me? Don't you want your Devil Fruit back? And now you want me to fuck off? Make up your mind, man!

Doflamingo

Ack–!

Sanji

So is that a no to help? We can tow your ship while you ride on the shell with us.

Well…whatever’s left of your ship anyway.

Doflamingo

I swear when I get my hands on you, I'm goanna–

Sanji

Hey! I'm trying to be nice here!

I’m being nice, aren’t I, Commander?

The blue haired man taps his chin thoughtfully.

Niji

In your weird unusual way��yeah, sure.

Sanji

See? Come on, I’ll give you our first catch of the day! Nice, fresh and juicy! Maybe I’ll even cook it for you if you’re well behaved.

Doflamingo

Shut up, just–SHUT UP! Give me back my Devil Fruit!

Sanji claps his hands together, happily smiling.

Sanji

A fruit salad sounds wonderful! Do you think that’s been done before? A Devil Fruit salad?

One more question, do you need to eat the whole thing or can we go halfsies? What if you eat two halves? Would you get two abilities?

Wait, that's three questions.

Doflamingo snaps at the blonde’s annoyingly arrogant attitude and takes several steps backwards. He sprints towards the edge of his broken ship at full speed then jumps off at the very end.

Sanji jumps side to side, warming himself up. He speaks under his breath.

Sanji

Here we go, come on.

Niji

Do you want our help on this?

Sanji

No, thank you. I need to speak to him privately.

Niji sighs in boredom and reels in his fishing line to recast it further out in the water.

Niji

You might want to tell that to Pink.

Sanji

Pink? Where?

Doflamingo pulls his fists, intending to deliver a powerful blow towards Sanji. As he closes in midair, the blonde simply eyes him and gives him a devilish smirk. His intrusive thoughts immediately think what that mouth would look like with his–

Before his fist meets the blonde's face, he sees a flash of pink in front of him as a girl with a butterfly-shaped cape suddenly puts herself between him and the blonde. She twirls rapidly, swinging her knee into his stomach, sending him hurling into the shallow stony waters down below.

Doflamingo lands with a loud grunt as the spiky rocks underneath him damage his back. He coughs out blood and he lays there still with his body partly submerged in the water.

The pink haired girl lands on top of him, smashing the rocks on both sides of his head. She straightens up, looming over him with a dangerous glare.

She raises a fist to deliver him a final blow. Doflamingo grits his teeth, readying himself for the inevitable pain.

Sanji

Stop!

The girl stops her punch just inches away from Doflamingo's face. Sanji jumps off from the snail’s shell and approaches them slowly. As he closes in, the girl steps aside to make way and faces him.

Reiju

But I was in the middle of a game with Red…. I'm one point away from winning.

Sanji

Oh? What's the prize?

Reiju

A favour or two. It depends on the gap between the points.

Sanji

Can I join?

Ichiji

No, it would be an unfair fight.

At the corner of his eyes, Doflamingo sees another person with red hair land on top of the snail's shell. He takes a moment to turn away from them in order to hide his eyes, and clean his sunglasses with his cape before resting it on his face again. The blonde yells at him to be heard.

Sanji

How the hell would it be unfair?! Don't you need at least a third player to play judge?

Reiju and Ichiji

Because you cheat!

Ichiji

Besides, Blue’s far more dependable keeping track of the score.

Reiju

I agree.

Sanji

But–

Reiju

Oh, don't be such a baby. Blue’s been keeping an eye on us since you're far too distracted playing with your horndog.

Sanji

My…what?

Niji silently nods in agreement from where he sat, causing Sanji to slap his own cheek, taking offense at the whole idea of being left out.

Ichiji finally settles down next to the grumbling blue haired one who is still fishing.

Ichiji

Caught anything yet?

Niji

No… Cosette’s going to kill me.

Ichiji

Forget it. We’ll just buy some on our way back. She won’t know the difference.

Niji

It’s not the same!

Reiju

Let it go, Red. He won't listen if he's at the mercy of our head chef.

Ichiji smirks and ruffles Niji's head, messing up the fringe of his hair that was neatly sticking out of his metal helmet.

Niji

Stop it!

Ichiji

If you don't ask her out, I will. And if I fail–which you know I rarely do–I'll get Green in on the action.

Niji

Don't you fuckin' dare.

Doflamingo

Mr. Prince, you know that I'm still here right?

Sanji

O–oh, whoops!

Commander, could you give us a moment alone please?

The pink girl hums softly as a reply and gracefully walks off to join the two men waiting idly on the shell.

Reiju

Commander Blue, there really is no use. You can buy live ones from the market nowadays. We’ll just kill them closer to home to make it look like you caught them yourself. Or better yet–we can start our own fish farm if we can get one that’s bearing eggs.

Niji

Leave me alone and let me do this!

…Tell me about that fish farm though.

Diamante

Young master!!!

Grateful for the distraction, Doflamingo lifts his head with difficulty and sees that his first mate is wrapped in chains, held firmly by the green headed man back on his ship.

Yonji

Hey King, what do you want to do with this one? He told me they're collecting Devil Fruits but won't say why.

Sanji

Lock him up. We won't be long.

Diamante thrashes about, trying to break out of his restraints until the green head delivers a swift chop at the back of his neck which renders him unconscious immediately. He lifts him effortlessly over his shoulders and disappears behind the wreckage of his ship.

Sanji

Commanders, can I please get you to look around and retrieve those Devil Fruits from their ship?

Doflamingo

No…!

Niji

But I haven't caught anything yet!

Reiju

I literally just sat down….

Ichiji

I'll do it…I guess.

Sanji

Thank you kindly!

The red headed man lazily launches off the snail and disappears where the green man had gone somewhere in the ruins of the Numancia Flamingo.

Doflamingo attempts to sit up with his heavily bruised body. When his arms give, he falls back onto the rocky waters with a loud splash. The water up his nose and blood behind his throat causes another round of coughing fits.

He hears light splashes next to his head and sees Sanji sit down next to him, stretching his legs into the water. The blonde shuffles a hand into his breast pocket and fishes out a clean and dry handkerchief. He stretches his arm out, offering him the piece of fabric.

Sanji

Sorry about that. I like watching my siblings get along. It's not often we all take on the same mission.

Doflamingo

I hate you all so much.

Sanji

I know.

Doflamingo snatches the handkerchief off his hand and begins to clean the blood off his face. Afterwards, he discards it by tossing it over his shoulders.

Doflamingo

Why did you do this? We're just trying to get home.

Sanji pulls a cigarette from his pocket and lights it.

Sanji

Because you've been a bad, bad boy, Doffy.

Doflamingo

…Seriously?

Sanji

And you get this really cute reaction! Your face gets all scowly and angry. And those veins on your forehead really come out, like your head’s about to pop.

Doflamingo groans and rolls himself onto his elbows. As he pushes himself up, he looks up at the state of his ship and frowns.

Doflamingo

My men?

Sanji

All accounted for. Don't worry.

Doflamingo

You didn't kill any of them?

Sanji

Now where's the fun in that?

Sanji crosses his legs, watching the other man struggle to sit up. He steals a glance at the back of his shirt all torn up and his skin is covered in bruises from Reiju's attack.

Doflamingo

Give it back…

Sanji

You're going to need to be more specific than that.

Doflamingo

More speci–? My fruit! I want my Devil Fruit back!!! Like I keep saying a million times over. What else could it be?

Sanji holds up his enclosed hand and begins stating other things out loud while counting with his fingers.

Sanji

A billion Beri, that one white feather coat you like so much, condensed Seastones, a couple of expensive-looking family heirlooms back when you were a Celestial Dragon–

Doflamingo

Wait, wait, wait, wait–how much have you stolen from me?!

And why did you take my coat…?

Sanji

Only whenever you enter our side of the waters. Take it as your payment for our toll.

And…I was feeling cold and your coat just looked warm and snug.

Oh uh…just so you know, it's pink now. I tried to wash it but someone accidentally put in his red flashy underwear with it and… well….

Doflamingo’s brow twitches angrily as he feels his temperature rise.

Sanji

AHA! That! There’s that look that I love so much!

It's…dry clean only though…isn't it? Sorry.

Doflamingo

You… little piece of shit….

Sanji chuckles, ignoring the man’s angered state.

Above them, they hear a couple of splashes as the red and green haired commanders jump off the ship and land nearby. They transport large partly opened chests that contain Doflamingo's hard earned Devil Fruits from the Numancia Flamingo back to their snail ship.

Sanji

Well done, guys! Just haul them somewhere in the back.

Doflamingo

HEY! Those are mine!

Sanji

Now, now…what on earth are you planning to do with them…hmm?

Doflamingo growls and attempts to stand. Before he can push himself up, Sanji points a sharp and dangerous dagger across his throat. He stills and gulps down nervously.

Sanji

We’re still talking. Sit.

Doflamingo grits his teeth and does as he says. Feeling helpless, he crosses his arms and waits for Sanji to speak.

Sanji

Good boy.

Doflamingo

You want to talk, Mr. Prince? So talk.

Sanji pulls the dagger away and returns to sheathe it back behind his belt. Satisfied with his answer, he offers Doflamingo his cigarette.

Doflamingo cocks an eyebrow at him and takes it. He takes a long drag and exhales, trying to get himself to relax and collect himself more calmly.

Sanji

I need your help.

Doflamingo

Fuck off.

Sanji

Hear me out.

Doflamingo waves his hand that's holding the cigarette, gesturing for Sanji to keep talking.

Sanji

I need a temporary alliance again. There are things that I need to do, and I know you need something from me–several things, in fact.

Doflamingo

You mean like the Devil Fruit that’s in your pocket right now? And those other fruits that you just took from my ship?

Sanji

Among other things.

Doflamingo laughs out loud from the absurdity of Sanji’s proposal. The blonde simply smiles at his reaction and waits for him to calm down and respond.

Doflamingo

You’re barking mad if you think I’d agree to another alliance with you.

Sanji

You still think that I owe you for helping me kill my own father?

Doflamingo

Yes. And…

Doflamingo gestures to the crumbling ruins of the Numancia Flamingo behind him. Coincidentally, the largest mast collapses in itself and falls loudly to the side. The rest of the ship follows as the hull gets snapped in half and the keel practically explodes from the stress of the ruined wreckage. Slowly, one of the halves of the hull sinks into the depths of the sea.

Sanji

Again, not my fault that you didn't pay attention. I'm not the one who sent all your men to swing over and come on board. We had to defend ourselves!

Oh, don't give me that look. Quit being such a baby. It's not a good image of you. I’ll build you a new ship. It’ll be shinier! And more pink! Bird head and all!

Doflamingo

With the money you stole from me….

Sanji

Hey! How I acquired that two billion Beri is not important.

Also I know that you don’t have enough proof. My commanders are really good at covering up fingerprints and any form of evidence.

Doflamingo

You just admitted to it!!! And didn’t you say that you stole one billion…? Why is the number climbing up?

Sanji

Guilty until proven. You barely even noticed three billion Berri missing from your treasury so clearly you don’t need so much gold. Look–

Doflamingo slaps his forehead from the whole ridiculousness of the situation.

Sanji

I need to attend the Levely. And I know you have been extended an invitation for the next one.

Doflamingo grins. He laughs his deep maniacal laugh.

Doflamingo

What’s wrong? Are you offended that you didn’t get an invitation to the party?

Of course you didn't get one. You're a new king. They don't just let anyone in. It's taken years for me to properly be seen as one. Meanwhile…

All you’ve done so far in your rulership is to tear down your father’s legacy that he and your ancestors worked so hard to build. He used to take part in it. And now they're wondering what the hell you're doing to everything he owned.

Sanji

I stand by the decisions I have made and I have no regrets doing so. But…I need to be there this year. It is imperative that I attend.

Doflamingo

So what you’re saying is that you’d do anything for me to help you attend the Levely…. That I can ask you for whatever I want and you have no choice but to do as you’re told?

It was Sanji’s turn to laugh out loud. Doflamingo loses his smile at that.

Sanji

Oh no, dear. Far from that. Sure, I’m happy to discuss the terms and conditions with you for a fair exchange. I do admit that you’re my first most preferred choice though. But I’d be a fool if I don’t have any other options to turn to.

Doflamingo raises a curious brow at that.

Doflamingo

I'm your first choice? Why?

Sanji gives him a wide grin. He stands.

Sanji

So I can do this….

Slowly, Sanji lifts up a leg and straddles himself on Doflamingo’s lap. He spreads his hands out, gliding them from the tips of his shoulders to the wide of his neck.

Doflamingo makes a growling noise from the back of his throat and grips the blonde's waist, pulling him close.

Doflamingo

And you think this is enough? With everything you owe me.

Sanji

Please, you're the one who owes me. Killing Germa’s previous ruler also benefited you, Warlord.

Sanji slides his hands up to cup Doflamingo's face. He pulls him to lightly touch his nose on his, teasing him.

Doflamingo

How did you know…?

Sanji

Let's just say that I have my sources….

Sanji grinds himself over Doflamingo's erect cock, earning him a soft moan in return. Slowly, he turns his head gently to the side to face the horizon beyond them.

Sanji

And…I did escort you home. With all my commanders in tow.

Doflamingo sees small shapes in the water making splashes towards a large familiar island in the distance. When he squints his eyes, he can see his men floating on lifesavers swimming towards the shores of Dressrosa.

Doflamingo

Oh, for fuck's sake…. We were that close to home?! You said we're in your territory!

Sanji chuckles and pushes himself off the man. He walks towards the edge of the rocky surface and watches the events on the distant island.

Sanji

I am serious about that date though.

And… you know how much I'm worth.

He turns and throws Doflamingo a den-den mushi. The man catches it with a single open palmed hand.

Sanji

As for the Levely…think about what you may need from me. You've told me before that you wanted a more permanent alliance, so let's talk. Call me when you're ready.

Or you know…just for fun.

At that, Sanji walks off to return to his snail ship.

Doflamingo

Wait.

The blonde stops in his tracks and looks over his shoulder.

Doflamingo

I think I may have a way for you to get in…but you may not like it.

What are you doing tonight?

Sanji gives him a smirk.

Sanji

Oh, you know. Probably the usual stuff. Scheming. Plundering. Expanding.

I'm curious to hear as to what your plan is, Doffy. It sounds like you already took this into consideration.

Doflamingo

Want to come by and… talk? Usual time and place.

Sanji

…Talk, huh? Sure.

But you're not allowed to touch yourself until I get there.

Doflamingo

Deal.

Sanji

Oh…one last thing.

How did me and my…commanders go today? Do you think we work well together?

Doflamingo

Well enough. You're too…comfortable with each other. Too cuddly and domestic.

Sanji

No, we’re not! We’re the opposite of that! We hate each other!

Doflamingo cocks an unimpressed eyebrow at him and gestures a hand towards the now wrestling red, blue and green commanders as they try to fight for the one fishing rod they have, demanding that they each want to take a turn to show Blue “how it’s done”, while the pink one tries to pry them all apart atop the snail’s shell.

The blonde pauses then begins to laugh, walking towards them. When he nears the edge of the rocky terrain, he turns his gaze to him one last time.

Sanji

Maybe they just hate me then.

Doflamingo

If you want my advice?

Sanji

I don't think I do.

Doflamingo

Kill them. Before you get too attached. Having siblings while running a kingdom can get...complicated.

Sanji

You're mad. But…I'll keep that in mind if they give me a reason to.

Sanji winks at him, sending shivers down his spine. The blonde gives his commanders a wave, signalling them to start up the snail as he jumps on board.

Niji

Did I hear that right? That you'll kill us if we give you a reason to?

Sanji

Hey, I think you have a bite!

Niji

ACK–!

Yonji

For the record…we all heard it. It came from your horndog.

Doflamingo

What–?! Stop calling me his horndog! My name is Donquixote Doflamingo!!!

He watches the Germa vessel with all its passengers depart. They all bid him farewell in order of age.

Vinsmokes

Bye, Do–Donqui... uh… Duffy!!

Until next time, Mr. Don!

See you, loser!

Don't forget our date later, Doffy~!

Later, bird for brains!

Doflamingo

Close, but not quite.

Getting there but say the whole thing next time!

That's even worse.

I won't, Mr. Prince!

See you, Winch-for-arms.

Yonji

Not an insult, but alright!

Doflamingo can't help but smile to himself, feeling the start of an attachment to the blonde and his armada of a family. After a few moments, he sighs exasperatedly and stands on his feet.

Diamante

Young m–master…

Doflamingo looks up and sees his first mate poking his head out from the unsunk side of the wrecked ship, still coiled around in chains.

Diamante

What the hell was that all about?

Did you at least get your Devil Fruit back?

Doflamingo

…A practice run. Mr. Prince needed an assessment of his performance with his commanders so I gave it to him.

And no…I didn't get the fruit back but apparently I got a date so….

Diamante lets out a defeated sigh.

Diamante

So…what now? How are we supposed to get home?

Doflamingo

We swim.

—

Law swipes his sword upwards, clipping strands of hair from the blonde's fringe.

Sanji ducks down at the last second. A nervous sweat drops from the side of his brow as he takes several steps back.

Sanji

Getting better, Traffy. But I still need to see more of that footwork. You leave your left too open.

Law

Hmph.

Sanji

How are you feeling?

Law

I could eat….

Sanji

Yeah, alright.

Law

You're not going to insist that we keep going?

Sanji

I'm not a monster. No one starves under my watch.

Law sheaths his sword and hums in acknowledgement.

Law

So…

Sanji begins circling around him, occasionally picking up small pebbles from the ground.

Sanji

So what?

Law

How was your uh… date… with Doflamingo?

Sanji

Good.

Law

Just…good?

Sanji

Since you insisted on the details…

We had a good talk then fucked for two days straight–no…three? Something like that. We eventually needed to eat and Niji came by several times to see if I'm ready to go home.

Law

Please spare me the colourful details….

Sanji

Hey! You asked.

Law

I was asking about what happened afterwards and the Levely! Did you get what you needed from it?

Sanji

You can say that…

With a flick of his wrists, Sanji sends the pebbles in his hands to fly towards Law who grabs one end of his coat and pulls it up to his head, blocking them before they hit him.

Law

Stop that!

Sanji

What? It was one last test to see how much you've improved and if you were paying attention!

To answer your question, let's just say we both got what we wanted. It’s…when we formed a more permanent alliance and….

Law

He ate the Devil Fruit?

Sanji nods.

Sanji

Yes. The very one that he's after.

We cut it up and–

Law

Are you about to paint me a picture?

Sanji

Then I put it all over my–

Law

Please, don't.

Sanji

…Then he–

Law

Mr. Prince-ya!

Sanji

What? Talking about it helps!

Law nurses the bridge of his nose with his fingers, trying to ease the now increasing headache from having to listen to Sanji's many back stories.

Sanji takes the opportunity to flick him one last pebble but Law redirects it away from him by raising his sheathed sword slightly so it bounces off its handle.

Law

Will you quit it?!

Sanji

I promise that's the last one. Great progress today, Traffy. That'll have to do…for now.

Law

I haven't even beaten you yet….

Sanji

I know. Let's resume training after the festival.

And…please don't call me by name in public. You'll get in trouble.

Sanji pockets his hands and proceeds to walk through the path towards town. Law follows him closely behind.

Law

Why me and not you?

Sanji takes a deep breath, and looks up at the silhouette of the tree canopy against the starry sky.

Sanji

Anyone who knows my identity becomes a target from the Marines…. I can't have that with the Marimo. I was hoping that it would be secret from you for a while longer. They're relentless, and they'd do anything to learn more about me.

Law

Is…that why you haven't told him? Because he could potentially lose his Warlord status?

The blonde chuckles.

Sanji

Even if they did question him, he wouldn't know…it's the safest bet. He didn't even bother asking me about it. Can you believe it? Two decades and not one question. He just does what he's told as long as there's a fight in it so he can get better than Mihawk.

So bloody adorable…. I could squish his face. And…other things.

Law

You're trying to shield him from the Marines…the very organisation who he's working for.

Sanji

If you want to put it that way….

Law

And…I already have a bounty. The Marines are after me no matter what. As for my crew….

Sanji

I lost it in a bet.

Law looks at him in astonishment and disbelief.

Sanji

Bepo has a surprisingly good poker face, okay?! He gets all sparkly and cute with those…big teary bear eyes….

If the Marines somehow find out how much you and your crew know about me, your bounty will either increase or they'll want you only “Alive”. Both, if you piss off the wrong officer.

Law

I guess my crew has done well so far…. I had no idea that they knew.

Sanji

So…whose tongue slipped?

Law

Does it matter?

But honestly? …It was all of them, if you can believe it. I think they found your last stash of pre-made cocktails.

Sanji

Hah!

Law

And…Doflamingo?

Sanji

He begged for it so he could call my name in bed.

Law

Ugh…

Sanji

What? This is why I don't skip details on my dates! That's where the intimate details surface. I was younger and didn't realise how much it could have impacted his life…. Sometimes I do wonder if he's gotten in trouble because of it. Unless he's that good at hiding things for me….

Want to hear how it happened? It was the second time we got together. He–

Law

Please, please keep it to yourself. I really don't want the image stuck in my head of my arch nemesis doing the unmentionable.

Sanji

Are you sure? It's a good story!

Law

I'm good, thanks.

…You don't have any more feelings for him, right?

Sanji opens his mouth to say something immediately. After a few moments, he finds that he's unable to answer the question.

Law

Seriously?

After all this time? With everything he's done to you?

Sanji

Can you blame me? He's the one who got the Marines and Admirals off our backs after Sabaody. Even after finding out that I'm travelling with you.

That takes guts. And a manic amount of dedication. It's not easy to ignore his efforts.

The doctor frowns at that. He keeps his gaze straight, thinking deeply about the situation at hand.

Law

I didn't realise that he's responsible for putting out fires. I thought we'd run into more trouble by now…. The papers seem to be the only issue left.

Sanji

Morgans is my problem. I'll…have to pay him a kind visit next time I'm able to.

As for the Marines’ involvement… Doflamingo is the only one who has the connections to do what he did. I don't even know if any other Warlord has the same pull with the navy other than a former Celestial Dragon.

Law keeps quiet at that, wondering what things would be like if Corazon was still alive and how he'd personally handle incidents if it's him that's in trouble from the Marines.

He suddenly stops in his tracks and shoots a glare towards a cluster of tall bushes. Sanji takes a step behind him, studying his reaction. He purposely drops his guard to give the doctor an opportunity to prove himself.

Sanji

Talk to me, Traffy. What do you see? What do you feel?

Law

I feel…odd. Like…my instincts are telling me to fight or flee….

Right now it's…both? Like I have to stand my ground. It…my body wants to find out more.

Sanji hovers a hand over Law's shoulder and gently clasps it. He gives him a gentle shake.

Sanji

Try to relax. Don't fight it. Let that instinct guide your senses. Just go with the flow.

Whatever's behind that bush might not want you to see it just yet. But that's the next step. You need to feel around it to identify it. Sort of like deducing through the process of elimination.

So tell me… what do you see?

Law

Ugh… that just makes it a bit more complicated but I think I get the idea.

I see… a very grumpy… very angry… is that… a ball of… grass?

A familiar green-headed swordsman emerges from behind the bushes, stumbling forwards and lands face first into the ground. His hair and clothes are disheveled and filthy from the jungle.

Sanji

Close. It's a Marimo!

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"The Other Side" Hazbin Hotel cover is stuck in my head as I drew the cover ❤️

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