#can cook and rp with you

[tides-of-clarity]

Current mode: use rping as escapism from the absolute dread I'm feeling of my failing country

Also mood: seriously now considering if getting married to someone out the country is viable option and fleeing

[bigolbadblog]

i know that mafia romance is cringe or whatever but like. the feedism possibilities...

it's about the unrepentant enjoyment of the good life. and also. fat crime bosses who carry their size as a symbol of power. who are constantly inviting their inner circle to big, lavish family style dinners. and, of course, no one dares refuse the boss's generosity, so everyone's cleaning their plate... and then their next plate too

[vampire-robin]

Can you still eat cookies? This is a serious question

Not unless those cookies are blood.

Fun fact: blood can solidify when cooking it and made into cookies.

[askgale]

OOC:

To celebrate 111 followers (the magic number) tell me about your Tav/Durge, and I will tell you what Gale would cook for them and why.

I have enjoyed answering all your asks and less enjoyed deleting all the really nasty porn ones (you would be surprised where some people's minds go to but they are at least funny)

As a reminder, I try to go from oldest ask for newest but sometimes my ADHD goes brrr and I will answer one that just really catches my mind. Rest assured, I will get to all of them. Eventually.

[anxiously-awaiting]

i think fgo should do a summer event that's primarily ON a cruise ship. i know that this current event has A cruise ship you're riding around on but i think they should do event that's like 90% on the ship itself. and the welfare summer nemo + one of the 5* swimsuit servants can be drake, or vice versa (though im kinda hesitant on nemo bc he's already got the santa alt but shhhh)

[thiefking]

have been experiencing a long period of social reclusion and having no idea what the cause is but i feel like i have figured it out after miraculously forcing myself back into "social mode" somewhat. i think it's because right now the thing i am the most insane about (naruto) is an interest that like... almost none of my friends share and the very few who have at least Read it aren't currently insane about it like i am. and the conundrum here is that i want to have friends to talk about it with and play dolls with (read: write/rp together) and infodump with. but i also can't really be like "read this 700 chapter manga which is really good for the first 300 or so chapters and then mid for most of the rest of it and a downright baffling end stretch & all this just for sasuke to name his kid Salad" with my current friends especially because i don'tthink most would be very into it... but all of my current friends are on the same autism wavelength as me & interpret things in similar ways to me. and finding new people i 100% vibe with is so hard bro. i'm already fighting a losing battle being a hardcore gaaruto truther mannnnn

[thegentlemanthief-l3]

ADHD be damned you can work a grill...

YOU GET ME.

[nrccookingclubofficial]

...I won't admit it, but I rather liked the coke ramen. My upbringing has failed me. Please give me more unhinged recipes

- 🪞⚜ host

//ooc I still need to grab a coke sometime

I haven’t tried it in a little bit, but as a kid I’d dip goldfish in Gatorade all the time. It’s shockingly good!!

[siixkiing]

@inmiasma​ { ☯ }

zha: try crisping your rice and adding chili trust me

“Well, I was making a different rice dish here but that sounds real good, might have to make that too now. Or is this your subtle way to ask me to cook something for you?”

Guess Nezha had enjoyed the Fa Gao he had made before, a small smirk forming across his lips in the moment. 

[generalmacnamara]

Since your creator - don’t ask - has no faith in me, I’m throwing a real pipe bomb at you. Catch.

[He just. Tosses a pipe bomb at John. Spite.]

WHAT?!

[He quickly places the bomb down and tries to defuse it.]

[chunibyo-x-sorcerer]

"Probably..he used it on another use of protein," Shoko said.

"He said it's fish."

"Wow...I'm shocked." Shoko said, with her montone cool tone. When hearing the four not answering the question. Shoko can tell.

"Soooo...." Shoko Ieiri hums, "You four let him cook?" She asked, already knowing the answer. "Did you four know it's a bad idea ooooor you just want to see if it works or not?"

"It's just one piece of chicken," Yuria said. Shoko nods, "If you feed cursed food, you can feed to the Kisho's bird. He would eat it with no problem. Anyway..let's get this done." Shoko goes to perform her RCT and then she slaps her hand on his chest waking the boy up. Kisho yells and gasps. He opens his eyes and looks around in shock.

"Huh?! What happened?!" KIsho looks around, "I thought I got isekia'ed?!" He exclaimed.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but you're back in our world, Hashimoto." Said Shoko calmly then pushing the bin with her foot. Just in time to see Kisho looks ill and throws up into the trash can. Miko goes to pat his back as Kisho lets it out all.

---- Meanwhile ----

Taz's eyes sparkled like her big brother as well. Kinie goes to help out. She had her kinfolk to hold Yuji and Taz while she goes to help Sukuna out. "Let me...try cooking oatmeal. I think I know how to do it based on how the pup did." She said.

Nobara and Megumi goes with the two but they was something not to expect. Though, they hope Kisho will be fine while seeing Sukuna still cooking food for the little ones, himself, and Kinie. In a moment, a really good smell of food replaced the nasty chicken smell Kisho cooked. It made Yuji's eyes sparkle with stars and drooling happy. Sukuna was careful and checked the chicken before taking it out of the pan and begins cutting it into baby bits for the little ones. Even started working on the other things for them.

~~~Meanwhile~~~

Mi-Sun couldn't believe this even knowing herself it was indeed dangerous to cook with cursed energy. Though, she blinks to look at the group. "Oh dear, he really should be more careful. But like Shoko said, it's really dangerous to do that. He is lucky it was his own. Others are even worse. "she said.

"Yeah, we didn't know that was a thing that could happen." Megumi said to the nurses.

"Believe me it is." she sighed.

"But like Shoko said, once she gets him to throw it up, he'll be alright. Just weak for a few days or so like she said. But I hope he learns not to do this again even if he did it before, I'm confused why he didn't get sick the first time he tried it." she mutters rubbing her cheek thinking.

"We don't know ourselves.." Nobara said.

"Now this got me wondering…who let him cook?" Shoko Ieri said. If Gojo hears of this, no doubt. He will be laughing or be shocked by Kisho's rookie mistake.

"And that is a good question....who did?" she asked.

"Uhhhhhh..." Megumi, Nobara, Yuria, and Miko sweatdrops not answering.

"Well?"

"....He uhhh....volunteered to do it." Miko said nervously.

[oceansprompts]

RP MUSE VALENTINE’S APPLICATION.

your name:

Romantic or platonic?:

A night in or dinner out or an activity?:

Ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries?:

What's your perfect date?:

Would you cook for me?:

Would you let me cook for you?:

Can we make-out?:

Make out in private or in public?:

Do you like to cuddle?:

Blankets or no blankets for cuddling?:

Couch or bed?:

What are at least 3 hobbies of yours?:

Tell me something about you no else knows:

Why do you want to be my valentine?:

What makes you a good Valentine?:

[etanow]

MASTER POST

The Experimental Monster Laboratory, or Monster Labs, is a TADC AU where the cast is in the physical world! Sorta..

C&A Research Facilities is one of the cornerstones of the science and medical worlds! They do everything; funding research, manufacturing equipment, and research into the known and unknown in an effort to understand everything. To the public, that is.

They experiment heavily in everything, from hiring literal Gods on earth to manage the more ..sensitive divisions; mixing machine and magic, technology and the supernatural, genetic experimentation, you name it, they’ve probably done it! The world outside may not know anything of the advancements they’re researching but there is little C&A Labs won’t allow in the name of progress in understanding and cataloging everything in their universe. Our story takes place in one of the more private residencies deep in C&A, belonging to Caine; a minor God with mysterious origins, unknown limitations, and boundless enthusiasm for learning everything he can about his little science friends.

╰┈➤ Content

╚═ Unnamed fic (Coming soon...) ╚═ Bubble can cook?? .

╰┈➤ Asks

╚═ Does Pomni act like a zombie? ╚═ Is Zooble's Demon Snake Leg happy? ╚═ Gangle is in a Situation.png ╚═ Gangle's temperament ╚═ Has Ragatha ever shocked anyone? ╚═ Gangle love RAAAH ╚═ Do Caine and Ragatha fight over Pomni? ╚═ Why did Gangle summon a demon? ╚═ Why does Pomni wear a bell collar? ╚═ Kinger's eye ╚═ What if there was a baby crying? ╚═ Death trauma [Gangle and Pomni] ╚═ Kinger has ONE hobby outside of Bugs ╚═ Is Zooble protective of Gangle? ╚═ What happens when you touch Pomni's brain? ╚═ JAX DATED SOMEONE?? ╚═ What does Jax do? .

╰┈➤ References

╚═ Intro Cards ╚═ Height Chart Lineup ╚═ Zooble Demon Snake Leg Intro Card /j ╚═ Queenie ╚═ Gummigoo ╚═ The Sun Room ╚═ Logo .

╰┈➤ Arts

╚═ First ML AU Post ╚═ Second, exploring outfits ╚═ Design sketches part 2 ╚═ Pomni + flower language ╚═ Showtime + Ragapom doodles ╚═ Jax not practicing lab safety ╚═ Abstragedy cuddles ╚═ Raga doodle ╚═ Ragapom doodle ╚��� Jax and Meadowsweet ╚═ Pomni staring out a fake window.png ╚═ [Gives pomni flowers] ╚═ more doodles ig

.

╰┈➤ Misc.

╚═ Caine Lemon Rant [Animatic] ╚═ Zodiac signs?? ╚═ Caine gets called a Tumblr Sexyman and cries ╚═ Bubble Looksmaxxing ╚═ Jax wants to take ketamine with you (Romantically) ╚═ Caine eats a lemon [Animatic] ╚═ BUNNYSUITSSS ╚═ Magma doodles ╚═ Magma doodles part 2

.

╰┈➤ Pomniverse

╚═ Wonderland and Zombni are friends :D

.

╰┈➤ Boundaries / Q&A

╚═ Any story plans? I'm not sure yet, currently writing a fic and several comics on the way.

╚═ Any boundaries? None, so go crazy! I am OK with gore, NSFW, angst, violence, etc, just be sure it is tagged/TW'd appropriately as not everyone is OK with that content. I'd also like to see please LOL

╚═ Can we create fanart/fics/content? Can we dub or fancam? Yes of course!! Please tag me, I'd love to see all of it! I'm tracking the tag #TADC Monster Labs AU for other's content

╚═ Is NSFW allowed? Yes, both art and fic, so long as it's marked appropriately I'd very much love to see!

╚═ Can I ship the characters, self-ships, or OC x Canon? Yes, ship away! Just be aware the only au-canon ships are Caine/Pomni, Ragatha/Pomni, Gangle/Zooble, and PAST Ragatha/Jax.

╚═ Can we make OCs? Go on ahead! Here is a PSD file for the blank template and the PNG can be found here.

╚═ Who are you?

✦✧ Hi I'm Audi! 26, she/they. Full-time office worker, I do art in my free time. ✦ My current interests are TADC, RWBY, Looney Tunes, and Trolls. ✧ I draw using a custom PC, a Huion Kamvas 16 (2.5K), and Adobe Photoshop. Currently learning to use Procreate. ✦ I do not RP and this isn't an ask blog, asks interacting directly with characters will probably not be answered. ✧ Asks are not guaranteed to be answered, sorry if yours isn't but please don't spam/send multiple times! ✦ Commissions and requests are not open at this time, thank you. ✧ My main tumblr is Audi-art. My Twitter is Hammerspaced.

[demon-blood-youths]

If only Vergil knew that Fosh's main go-to when hacking computers is mostly coffee. Lots of lattes and macchiatos when he gets stressed! He needs a lot of caffeine so he won't burn himself out. Vergil is not wrong when it comes to a suicidal diet.

"No way! You will be good at it! You're the guy who says things that need to be heard! People love serious guys on the judging panel!" Ink said. Though her friends would think that Vergil's constructive criticism would make any chef piss their pants while hoping and praying for a good score on their dish.

Moving on! Their topic shifts to fractions and her home, Wyckoff. However, the mood shifts quickly in a moment when Vergil mentione d something about the Lovely Horrors.

I am marginally acquainted with the name of the Lovely Horrors,

Ink paused for a minute when Vergil said that he said that he is marginally acquainted with the Lovely Horrors. What does that mean? Is Vergil familiar with the Lovely Horrors? Ink looks at him with an unreadable expression as if she is thinking on what to say.

“ They have reportedly gained a considerable amount of repute by means of malefic deeds. ”

After he said that, Ink replies, "That's them..." Ink said with a nod. There is no smile nor any emotion. Just a blank face. She shifts her eyes to her yogurt."These guys are strong and really....dangerous. After a big battle, I heard they stay in the woods and kept to themselves most of the time." Ink said, rubbing her neck once more before looking over to Vergil. "Their leader is pretty strong. Really strong as me." She said, leaving it at that. She could explain more but she didn't want to ruin the mood. This isn't the right time to tell a story. A long and crazy story!

Plus it's lunchtime!

Besides...what's more important...is Wyckoff.

“ This island of Wyckoff you forementioned, might it be located in the Mediterranean coastal regions? ”

Ink takes a sip of her soda before blinking. "Uh....urm..." Ink looks confused by the question. Mediterranean coastal regions? She tries to think very hard.

"Uhhh....I don't get it. I mean Wyckoff is in New York waters..." Ink said. Mediterranean? Isnt't that...like Greece? Or Italy?

'𝑻𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒅 to add honey in lieu of sugar into teas and various manner of beverages and sweet courses alike for those who were concerned of their health stature. Owing to that fact, it was only natural for Ophelia as Ink's resident healer as much as Jaron was their chef, to go for a healthier option such as honey instead of sugar. As for Fosh, whom he recalled as a skittish artisan of... technology (?) of their fraction, the youth did seem to resemble the quintessence of youthful inclination toward the less conservative diet. Not that he judged the young man, especially when he himself had to tolerate a pizza junketeer of a brother. He was certain that Fosh possessed a far less nonsensical stance upon the matter, compared to Dante's... well, suicidal diet.

The recollection also reminded him of his impromptu tea time with the two mses of DBT, the while engaging their resident strategist, Hellmare, in an intellectual duel that was chess.

'𝘛𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, Vergil couldn't but admit it inwardly. What started as a consternation of having to spend time with what he initially believed was a rambunctious lot of teenagers, and did feel like that during the first half of his stay (courtesy of manmade obscenity that was video game), had ended in an unexpected acquaintanceship based upon mutual respect and fascination.

𝘈𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, he reminded himself. 𝘐𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱.

"Vergil, you should be a food judge on a cooking show, you know."

Once again, the son of Sparda tilted his chin up, evidently preened in his demoiselle's stellar assessment of his character and skill. His grey eyes shimmered with fondness with a smug stretch upon his lips.

“ Your high opinion upon my culinary prowess is most laudable, Ink. ” His prideful tone receded a mite at her name to allow adoration to tone in. “ Though such a stature tends to inevitably detract the fun accorded to such a competition. ”

A pause as Vergil sipped his tea, his eyes fixed at Ink but the glint of rivalry within were not meant for her.

“ Certain chefs, withal, must be honored by means of a just competition in lieu of judgement. ”

By all means, should Jaron prove to be capable of discerning ingredients from the similar manner, it would only serve to highlight his culinary merit in the cambion's eyes, which consequently also nominated him higher in Vergil's mental list of top tier competitors. All the same, by the aegis of Ink's favor (?) and presence this afternoon had earned him the advantage of knowing his demoiselle's preference, notwithstanding the variety. That allowed him to come closer to Jaron's level when it comes to knowing Ink's culinary partiality.

 𝘠𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦, 𝘑𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘯, 𝘩𝘢!

The Darkslayer of the culinary realm set aside his burning rivalry of motivation to refocus on the subject upon their table.

" Yes, but we don't take control of any turfs in NYC since my friends live all over the borough. But we live in a place called Wyckoff we named it ourselves. The island had an old name but I can't remember it and doesn't sound cool. An island that is near almost all of the boroughs...I think." 

Wyckoff, he tucked the name in his mental note. An island with an old name, she said? That reminded him of an ancient island said to be located on the coast of America. What are the odds that they are one and the same?

"There's barely any fractions in Brooklyn but nothing major like the other fractions. But we usually hang out there and Kali tells us to check on it once in a while if something comes up."

Ah, that would explain the residency complex of the DBT fraction that he had visited in the past. 𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘻𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘤 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨.

With these fractions, the demons are born and raised there, knowing the people and things there and wanting to protect them. What they cared about are what bridges humans and demons together when it comes to family, common interests, and struggles.

What an idyllic state of co-existence, one that none other than his own sire, the Legendary Dark Knight Sparda, had long envisioned yet never quite actualized due to his untimely demise. Yet his vision, his legacy lived on in the very existence of his seeds, forevermore dual in their nature, man and demon. Yet here was where the similarity ended, for instead of bridging their difference, both he and Dante had spent a lifetime attempting to suppress either of their duality. He with his humanity and Dante with his demon, both sons of Sparda favoring their respective nature of their duality, and it was only recently that both of them had begun to bridge the difference by attempting to come to terms with their respective nature they considered a hindrance. In that sense, his son Nero was more of a realization to Sparda's dream of coexistence. And yet, Ink and these fractions she enumerated had achieved more progress on the matter.

To say that he was intrigued was an understatement.

"But besides that, we also know fractions out of state."

Vergil inclined his head, a non-verbal encouragement for Ink to carry on.

"Just two! There's Ethan Gaol in Philly, Pennsylvania with his Active Seeker Tribe, he's smart like you, Vergil, and very serious!"

At the claim that someone else was his alike in temper, to Ink moreover, a scant knitting appeared upon his snowy brows, indicating a mild disrelish at the concept of someone else could come close to him in impression to his demoiselle. But it did not go further than that, for many things he raised disapproval for, but facile rivalry over someone whom he never encountered was not one of them

"There's one in New Jersey." The brief pause prompted his eyes to narrow again, as the discomfiting sensation from earlier had returned. "Uhhhh...Matt and The Lovely Horrors."

Lovely Horrors. The moniker sparked a recognition stronger than the rest and his grey-eyes twitched to bespeak it. He recalled the seemingly unholy name of the fraction mentioned by, again, Dante's colleague and broker, pertaining to a case of manmade experiments carried out in illegal proceedings. Granted it did not bother him then, the political drama in humanity's bureaucracy never intrigued him.

“ I am marginally acquainted with the name of the Lovely Horrors, ” Vergil began in a quiet, steady tone, something in him told him that unlike the previous fractions mentioned, this one held an unpleasant weight in his demoiselle's conscience. “ They have reportedly gained a considerable amount of repute by means of malefic deeds. ”

Silence fell as the cambion took the opportunity to observe Ink's facial expression in response to his awareness of that particular fraction, thereafter he added, “ This island of Wyckoff you forementioned, might it be located in the Mediterranean coastal regions? ”

[finniestoncrane]

Kink Dialogue Prompts - If you fancy, any of the following with Egon Spengler (Receiving?) :3c:

🌱 Virginity, 🥇 First Time, ✏️ Marking/Bititng, 🩺 Doctor RP (Giving), 🔴 Humiliation

Experimental Methods

Egon Spengler x Female!Reader, word count: 3.5k HELLO!? finally another excuse to write nasty again for egon, my fuckin beloved ;-; also i have been COOKING this one and it got away from me so it is LONG lmao mostly because i didn't realise you said any of and not all of the prompts oops and then i also added in prem.ejac. my actual beloved👻 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! ��� cw: medical kink, losing virginity, marking kink, humiliation kink, premature ejaculation

The walk from the elevator to your apartment door at the end of the hall felt like it took an eternity, definitely down to the dead silence between you and Egon which had been ongoing since the moment you left the restaurant down the block. He was often quite quiet once a date had ended, but this was different. There was a distinctly awkward air to the way he shuffled uncomfortably along beside you, and the soft sigh he had let out as he agreed to walk you to your door didn't exactly settle your nerves. That discomfort in the pit of your stomach was only exacerbated by the way he avoided all eye contact once you had placed the key in the lock, and stood, turned to him, as you held the door ajar. "Egon, I think you should come in so we can talk."

"Talk?"

"Mhm."

You nodded solemnly as you headed inside. He was a sweet man, very kind, very straight to the point. Besides the very limited bursts of anger you had seen him display at questioning skeptics and otherwise disinterested city officials, you couldn't imagine him wanting to harm anyone. So you had to be the one to broach the subject, since it seemed like he never would.

Once inside, you watched him make his way to the sofa, sitting on the very edge with his hands placed on his knees, palms rubbing nervously at the woolen fabric. When you were sitting beside him, you could hear his shallow breathing and the sound of him swallowing his nerves. As much as you were apprehensive about this converation, it spurred you on to know you were putting him out of his misery.

"Look, Egon. I know you're a sweet guy, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable just so you don't hurt my feelings. If you don't want to see me anymore in a... romantic way... then we don't have to."

"What?"

"We can meet for coffee or go out for food alone or with other people, but as friends, y'know?"

"Yes. That is generally something we can do. I appreciate your time, and for being so forward with your feelings. If there's anything I can do to change your mind then-"

You raised your hands up, shaking your head in confusion.

"Wait, wait, wait. Change my mind? I... I'm not breaking up with you, Egon. I'm making it easier for you to break up with me."

His face was blank, except for the slight hint of confusion, and you could almost hear the gears of his mind grinding away as he puzzled over where you got the notion that he might want to break up with you. It didn't take him long though. He wasn't oblivious. The evidence was definitely piling up, although the intentions behind it had been lost in translation.

"I don't want to break up with you. I enjoy spending time with you. We share a lot of the same attributes in common and you are extremely tolerable of any discussions about my various interests."

"How romantic."

You smiled, emphasising the playful tone of your slight dig.

"And of course, I find you attractive. Very appealing, physically as well as emotionally and intellectually. Which is precisely the problem."

Egon sat in silence for a few moments, as though he expected you to psychically glean what he meant by that statement, waiting on your response. But when it was apparent that you had none, he took a deep breath and continued.

"This is our fifth date. I expect that you'll want to have sexual relations, or at least some form of physical contact beyond what we've experienced thus far."

Your eyes widened, surprised by how blunt he was, if not more technical or formal than you expected, and you stumbled over your words.

"I, uh... w-well, that would be nice! But, if that's not your thing then of course we don't have to."

Shocking you both, he abruptly removed his hand from his own leg and placed it on your knee, both of you looking at it before he snatched it back.

"I want to, of course. But, speaking openly, I haven't ever experienced that. Yet. With anyone."

In absolute disbelief, you blinked as your body moved backwards a little, your nose twitching, raising your mouth in a curious and surprised sneer.

"You're a virgin? You. Are a virgin. You?"

"Does that factual statement require this much questioning?"

"A little bit, yeah! I mean... I would've been all over you four dates ago if you'd seemed a bit more at ease with it. I don't know how you've gone forty years without someone-"

He interrupted you with a slight frown, lips pursed as he waved you off before he spoke.

"I've spurned a few advances, but believe it or not, there's something about my personality that other find rather..."

"Abrupt. Formal. Disinterested?"

Egon nodded in agreement, very well aware that you used the words with no hint of criticism or negativity, but rather truthfully, and, oddly enough to him, with an almost loving tone.

"And yet you find those attributes appealing."

"Of course! They come in a very nice package."

You leaned into him, placing your hand on his thigh, squeezing it gently between your fingers as you edged closer to him on the sofa. He watched your fingers moving, eyes closing as he took in the sesation of the touch. Even that smallest gesture was enough to excite him. Your hand, moving further up his long, slender leg, fingers tensing into the muscle and releasing their grip as your palm snaked higher and higher, closer and closer.

"Oh, ok. You definitely are interested then..."

It was impossible not to notice the distinct bulging at the front of his slacks, and you felt immediately bad for pointing it out, but Egon smiled, nervously adjusting his glasses and clearing his throat.

"I wouldn't have lied to you. Besides, I knew the biological response would betray me eventually. I'm only lucky to have gone this long with the problem arising, for want of a better word."

Taking stock of the situation, you considered the next steps. You didn't want to rush him, by any means, but you didn't want to let the opportunity go to waste. An intimate conversation could lead to a more intimate encounter, and that was definitely what you had been hoping for tonight.

"Egon, we can do whatever you want tonight. You can go home, with no hard feelings, and we can continue dating and wait until you're ready. Or we can give it a go. If you want to stop, we can. But I think this could be a nice experience for us, as a... couple. Let me guide you through this. I'll be very gentle, unless of course you tell me otherwise."

His face lit up with a warm smile, clearly in appreciation of your gentle offer and your efforts to make light of what was most definitely an awkward conversation. Still, though, he seemed too nervous to speak much, so the ball was once again in your court.

"Ok, so... is it the skills involved that are causing you problems? Or...?"

"I suppose so, but like most other things, you gain experience with practice..."

Your stomach flipped in excitement, a heat prickling over your skin at the notion that you might be involved in this practice.

"... It's an area I haven't really been involved with before. It's not as though you're something to study, to examine and figure out."

"That's... exactly what it's like, actually."

"Hm."

"I mean, that's what it could be. If that makes things easier for you. Maybe a little bit of roleplay, putting you in a position of control that you're familiar with... maybe that would make it a bit easier for you?"

Egon paused for a moment, considering your suggestion with a hopeful look, nodding silently before he spoke.

"Your hypothesis is intriguing, and I do think it would be beneficial to at least test it in an experiment before we rule it out completely as a possible solution. If... if you're sure...?"

Placing your hand over his, you squeezed it, reassuringly, as you leaned in to him.

"It's a new experience, yes. But don't worry, I'll help you through it... Doctor."

His eyes lit up, a fire suddenly burning in the pit of his stomach. Standing from the sofa, he took your hand and brought you up to him. Egon's eyes flitted towards the door to your bedroom.

"In that case then, please come with me and we can begin this examination."

You reached for his hand, hoping he'd guide you romantically to the privacy of your bedroom, but he was already fast ahead of you, his long limbs gaining the distance with his wide strides as you hurried excitedly into the room behind him.

"Now, if you'll lie back on the bed, please, and take a deep breath. Let me take care of you. I'm sure that whatever is wrong, I can provide some assistance."

Obedient, and with a level of excitement you weren't afraid to show, you bounced onto the mattress and laid back, inhaling and exhaling slowly and carefully as you listened to Egon pacing around the bed, finding the best place to conduct his examination. Standing on your right, looking down at you, you watched as he procured a small notepad and almost pointlessly short pencil from the inside pocket of his suit jacket.

"I think we should begin by noting the first examples you found of paranormal occurrences. Were the internal or external?"

Narrowing your eyes in confusion, you tried to think of an answer to the question, but before you could find a suitable one he had moved on to the next.

"If neither of those are pertinent to your experience, can you tell me if you had any sensations or evidence of being posessed?"

"What? Egon, what are you talking about?"

Blinking twice, he lowered himself to you, bending at the hip, and whispering in a lower voice as though he were trying not to break the roleplay experience.

"This is my area of expertise. The paranormal. I am examining you as a doctor of such, so... are you experiencing anything paranormal?"

Quickly catching on, you mustered up a few symptoms for him to use in his diagnosis.

"Oh... uh... yes! Well, Doctor Spengler, the reason I came to see you is that I've had a strange onset of problems, ones no ordinary doctor could diagnose. I think you might be my only hope now."

Reaching out, you took his hand in yours and squeezed, looking at him with wide, pleading eyes.

"And what might these symptoms be?"

"Well, I'm not sure if they're all related, but I do know that I've been feeling very irritable lately. Completely exhausted and filled with stress and tension. It's like there's something inside of me that I just need to get out, something that's controlling my behaviour."

"It sounds like you might need a formal adjuration addressed to the demonic presence that has decided to utilise you as its host."

"I need a what?"

"In layman's terms, an exorcism."

"Ah! Wow, that sounds very serious, Doctor Spengler."

The way you spoke his name, each consonant, each syllable, lingering on your lips and tongues, lustful and seductive, had him clearing his throat and swallowing the building, shaking nerves that it conjured.

"It can be. Could you detail when you feel these symptoms for me?"

"Hm... they mostly surface when I'm around my boyfriend. He's real neat, I think you'd like him. He's so intelligent, so sweet, and he's super hot."

"Ahem... he sounds, delightful."

"You don't think the demon, or whatever is inside of me, is targeting him, do you, Doctor Spengler?"

You forced a concerned pout onto your lips, looking up at Egon through your batting eyelashses as you watched him try to recover from not only the insinuation that he was hot, but that you considered him to be your boyfriend.

"I see... then I believe that perhaps this is not anything paranormal but very natural. I think a release of tension, of a more physical or... coital nature, is the required prescription here."

With his cheeks flushing at the mere mention of sexual activity, Egon adjusted his glasses once more as he avoided eye contact with you.

"Oh, thank you, Doctor Spengler! So... what should I do about this predicament? Do you think you could maybe administer the correct dosage for me? Perhaps we can do the procedure here?"

The deep red blush seeped further across Egon's skin, his pupils wider than you'd seen them before. Quickly, and with no attempt to do so discreetly, he moved his hands down in front of him, holding the notepad strategically in front of his pants.

"Are you hiding something down there, Doctor Spengler?"

Egon stuttered, dropping the note pad before bending to catch it swiftly, the tent at the front of his slacks visible for only a brief moment, but long enough that you could ascertain what he was working with below the tweed and formality.

"I-I-I'm... I-it's... I apologise, I didn't mean to rush things by getting ahead of myself. This is embarrassing."

"Oh, come on, Egon! You know as well as I do that it's a natural reaction. If you're going to be ashamed of anything, I would say it should be how easy it was to get you as flustered as you are... I mean look at your cheeks! Tell me... is any other part of you blushing pink?"

The silence was almost deafening, and he was once again unable to look into your eyes. Fearing you had taken it a little too far in your taunting, given it was his first time, you were quick to apologise, sitting up on the bed and holding his arm. But he brushed you off, working on his nervous habit of fiddling with the legs of his glasses as he replied.

"No need to apologise, I'm just quietly reconciling the facts. Yes, it was embarrassing, but your taunting made it worth it. It definitely played a fact in the increase in arousal, it would be a fascinating thing to study if I had any spare time. I'd even suggest that we experiment with that more this evening, but I'm worried it might lead to a quick conclusion to our combined efforts if the external stimuli is too... well, stimulating."

"How about we just remember that you're into it and add it to our list, hm?"

"We have a list?"

You eased yourself up onto your knees on the bed, holding on to the lapels of Egon's suit jacket as you watched his Adam's apple bob, his chest rising and falling as your hands soothed over his body.

"Now we do."

Your lips met his in a soft, interlocking embrace, with Egon catching on quickly after a sharp inhale. You could feel his smile against yours as the passion deepened, his hands falling to your sides as he held you steady as you balanced yourself against his surprisingly sturdy frame. Letting out a deep sigh as his hands curled around you, his palms flat against your spine as he stroked up and down, you found yourself leaning into him more, fingers pressing into the back of his neck as you kept him kissing you.

One of your hands pushed into his thick, tight curls as the other drifted back around and down his front, your fingers skirting over the buckle of his belt and hooking just below it, tugging his hips towards you. He came easily, putting up no resistance to your desire to have him closer to you.

Egon's breath haltered as he watched you in stunned silence, your fingers expertly, and quickly, unbuckling his belt and slowly, deftly, unzipping his pants. Looking up to him to make sure he was still on board, you caught his eyes, pupils wide, behind the slightly fogged lenses of his glasses. In response to the question you hadn't asked yet, you caught out of your peripheral the slight twitch of his cock, waiting impatiently for your touch.

As seductively as you could, you pulled his slacks down slightly, enough that you could hook your thumbs into the waistband of his white, y-fronts, watching as more of his cock was revealed until it sprang over the top.

He was an impressive length, and a thickness you could get used to with some practice. Looking at it, you considered that was probably why he so often wore looser slacks, given there was a lot for him to attempt to conceal. Without even realising it, you had begun to lick your lips, trying not to drool over yourself. So, to satiate your growing hunger, you wrapped your palm around the base of his length and began to stroke it.

Your movements were gentle, not too slow but not too fast. You were sure he had experienced some level of physical intimacy before, and he couldn't have gone forty years without some level of masturbation. Surely... but there was always a chance...

Either way, your ministrations against his thickening length had it pulsing and throbbing against the flat of your hand as you dragged it up and down, stroking his cock in rhythym with his breathing and matching the pace of his subconscious and almost imperceptible thrusting.

Despite having a grown man under your power, you were still preoccupied with his comfort, worried that you were moving things too quickly. So to counter your concerns, and keep things as pleasant as possible for you both, you took to looking deep into his eyes, past the lenses of his round frames. It was a piercing stare, one that was uncomfortable for only a moment before it deepened the intimacy, letting you see him in a completely new light as his jaw hung open and his tongue lapped at the air. You couldn't help but smile back at the lopsided grin he wore, your heartbeat unsteadied by the mere suggestion that you were making him happy.

A small, sultry giggle escaped your throat, and Egon groaned in reply, bucking his hips forward,standing on tiptoe and shuddering as he balanced himself back onto his heels again. Only when you felt the cooling of the warm liquid spread over your fingers did you realise what had happened.

With a quick glance down, you could see the last threads of cum spilling ont your hand from the flushed, pink head of Egon's cock. Drops and strands dripped down your knuckles, and as you loosened your grip, the action accompanied by a soft whimper from Egon, you fought the urge to lick your hand clean. There would be opportunities in the future to taste him, right now the priority was to assuage the concern you could see growing on his furrowed brow. You could feel your own underwear soaking in arousal at the idea of pushing Egon to climax so quickly, but he didn't seem to feel the same.

Looking to him, your mischievous grin was quickly contorted into an easy, comforting smile as you stood up and quickly kissed him. If your lips were firm against his, then there was no qay he could finish the entirely unnecessary apology that he was trying to make for what he felt was a speedy response to your touch. Resting your forehead against his, and letting his large nose press into yours, you pulled away from the deep kiss, a slowing tirade of softer ones following it until you were sure he would be quiet.

"It's ok, honestly. There's no need to apologise."

"Are you sure? I'd hate to be a disappointment."

"Hardly! In fact..."

You punctuated each word with a kiss, covering his cheeks, his chin, his neck and his collarbone in them.

"... I think it was pretty hot having that kind of power over you."

When you moved your lip back over his neck, you allowed your teeth to graze across his skin before sinking them in, closing your lips over and sucking at him, feeling his flesh warm in your mouth and delighting in the wet, smacking sound as you let go. With your drool settling in a strand against him, you bit your lip, suddenly a little embarrassed by the very forward nature of the bite. You waited for Egon's approval, or disapproval, of the flurry of affection, giggling when he finally spoke.

"To clarify, that bite was a positive response, yes?"

"Of course! I just wanted to... mark my territory. This way, whenever someone looks at you, they'll know you belong to someone. Just in case anyone else gets any ideas about being your first before I can get to you again."

Egon's fingers twitched, reachign instinctively in that recognisable flustered action to adjust his glasses, one side of his mouth lifted into a coy, but satisfied grin.

[mayearies]

✩ ABC’S

sfw alphabet with miles g. genre: fluffy hcs

—‘A’ IS FOR AFFECTION (how affectionate are they?) pretty affectionate with his s/o even if he can be awkward sometimes, takes some time getting close to someone again. if you’re in public, he would mainly hold your hand. maybe sneak in a hug or kiss once in a while if he’s feelin’ handsy. when recieving affection, he’s always open towards it. even if it makes him a little embarassed at moments (mainly in public).

—‘B’ IS FOR BESTFRIEND (what are they like as a bestie?) once he get comfy with you, he the type to play with you but also have serious talks to. he would like to stay close to you and hang out with you a lot. he’s also really good at rps (rock paper scissors) and shadow boxing, you gettin’ bodied fo sho ‼️

—‘C’ IS FOR CUDDLES (what is their cuddling schedule?) he likes contact with you, preferably skin to skin so expect his hands up your back or your stomach. he can be both a big spoon or a little spoon, he just wants to hold you (he will be a little spoon most times which you will tease him about). one cuddle sesh a day is required for him to function.

“baby? where’s my hugs n’ kisses? you aint mad at me, right?”

—‘D’ IS FOR DOMESTIC (settling down? how will they be helping out around?) he would wait to get a fiancée, let alone a wife. but of course he would want to settle down with you. he loves you. a pretty decent home cook, nothing special. he would watch his ma make pasteles so it’s one of the dishes he can perfect. he tolerates cleaning. doesnt like it but doesn’t fully hate it.

—‘E’ IS FOR ENDING (how does breaking up go?) would absolutely try to avoid arguments all he can. depends on the reason why you two are splitting, but he will spill his feelings about the relationship out to you. in his head. he doesn’t enjoy speaking his thoughts very much and just feels it’ll escalate shit. though, he would wish you well.

—‘F’ IS FOR FIANCÉE (how committed are they to you?) puts his commitment to you over anything else. though he claims he is not in a rush to marry you and that it could wait, but at the same time he be talkin’ about baby names and what a dream it would be to marry someone like you.

—‘G’ IS FOR GENTLE (how gentle are they?) he’s gentle on most occasions. his rbf and cold aura can be misleading. the craves your touch and your kisses. however, he can be a little on the rough side. for example, his mental state. it isn’t the best with his dad being dead and being the prowler, but you make it more bearable with just your presence. he can also be on the rougher side by squeezing places he knows only belong to him (neck, thighs, waist, etc.)

—‘H’ IS FOR HUGS (how does their hugging schedule work?) he dont mind them. he just dont like the long ones. makes him uncomfortable in some way. he doesn’t do them that often, but when he does they’re really memorable and soft.

—‘I’ IS FOR I LOVE YOU (how quick do they say i love you?) waits a little long before pulling the big ‘l word’. i wouldnt describe him as head over heels for you, but he’s in love.

—‘J’ IS FOR JEALOUSY (what are they like when they’re jealous?) oh boy, can this man get jealous. like, hella jealous. if someone so much as stare too long at you, he’ll glare at them while bringing you closer towards him. touching you? a line nobody can cross. that shit is a death wish. his mami, not yours.

—‘K’ IS FOR KISSES (how does their kiss schedule work?) hold me back i finna go wild on this one. though you’re probably his first relationship like ever, he didnt know how to kiss at first. as time went on though, his kisses got really passionate and filled with longing. everytime he kisses you, he misses you just a little bit less cause he knows you’re here. you’re here to stay. you’re his. he would kiss you anywhere. your least favorite part? kissed. your favorite part? consider it done, bae. he likes cheek kisses a lot. he doesn’t know why, though. he also really likes looking at your eyes when he’s done kissing you, he likes eye contact in general. if you are avoiding it or simply looking away from him, he’ll snap his fingers in your face and hold your chin as you turn towards him.

“ma. look at me. i won’t ask twice.”

—‘L’ IS FOR LITTLE ONES (how are they around kids?) not a fan of kids, they’re too noisy. he’s really awkward with them because he internally just thinks they’re little brats, but he also knows they’re stupid. his kid though? he will adore them so fucking much you might have to separate him.

—‘M’ IS FOR MORNINGS (how do your morning routines go?) he wakes up whenever you wake up. your morning routine is basically his, only that he adds a few more steps to it. those ‘few more steps’ being holding you for a solid five or so minutes before you carry on with your early rising.

—‘N’ IS FOR NIGHTS (how does your night routine go?) much like the mornings, his night routine is similar to yours. except, sometimes you dont even finish the whole thing because he wants your time and attention to himself before he drifts off to sleep.

—‘O’ IS FOR OPEN (when will they become more personal?) probably on the third or fourth date. the first two he would want to know more about you. but, he would drop little things he was interested in too.

—‘P’ IS FOR PATIENCE (how patient are they?) he doesn’t get upset that easily, with you atleast. don’t push him too far with your smart mouth, though. that’s what can really piss him off sometimes.

“the fuck you think you talkin’ to? tone down that attitude fo’ me.”

—‘Q’ IS FOR QUIZZES (how much would they remember about you?) he would remember the things that intrugied him about you, but he wouldnt remember every single thing. that’s how he knew what to buy you if he wanted to surprise you.

—‘R’ IS FOR REMEMBER (whats their favorite moment?) he loves them all equally, frankly if he had to choose he couldn’t.

—‘S’ IS FOR SECURITY (how protective are they?) pretty fuckin’ protective of you. and you love it. sometimes, he would stalk you just to see how you were doing or if you were okay. he just doesn’t want to lose someone again, he hopes you understand.

—‘T’ IS FOR TRY (how much effort do they put into your relationship?) he tries to make an effort into planning dates but those plans often get spoiled by his alter. he will always make it up to you, though. no matter what.

—‘U’ IS FOR UGLY (whats one of their flaws?) lying. he doesnt like to lie to you, but it keeps you safe. it got to the point where he would lie about little things on accident, like taking out the trash.

—‘V’ IS FOR VANITY (how insecure are they about their looks?) not a lot. if you think he looks good, then he looks good. sometimes he wonders how he even managed to pull someone like you.

“whatever, amor. if you think i look good, then i look good. whatever you say goes.”

—‘W’ IS FOR WHOLE (would they feel incomplete without you?) yes. nothing more.

—‘X’ IS FOR XTRA (random hc about them?) he behaves like a cat sometimes without even knowing it.

—‘Y’ IS FOR YUCK (whats something they dont like in a partner?) he probably doesnt like loud noises. yes, he does ride a motorcycle but he probably wears earplugs to help with the noise.

—‘Z’ IS FOR ZZZ (what are their sleeping habits?) he’s naturally a light sleeper, so anything faint could wake him up. something he does when you sleep with him is that he would hold you so close and tight that you once had a dream you fell and broke your back. and a actually felt that pain in real life. yikes. another habit he has is playing with your hair subconciously and muttering things about you in his sleep. you both have woken up to it multiple times.

© mayeluvsu 1610 version