#calling bi women 'het' for being in a relationship with a man

[neechees]

I was searching this blog to try see if they wrre biphobic, & literally the only nice thing they had to say about bi people (before I started to stop bc I'd had enough) was calling lady Gaga a "bi icon", & every other post was basically them just being perpetually annoyed by bi people. Blocked, obviously

[maikelfist]

Working Title: Man With Big Dick Fucks His Precious Boy

Okay so I had the weirdest, most random ass idea for post-breakup BuckTommy and it just got more and more random the more I kept going. It's all over the place, I kind of rushed near the end, I have no idea where I was going with this. I would call this a fever dream more than I would call it a fic but it's here now so might as well throw it at you guys PS: Don't get fooled by the working title, this is more sappy than sexy

Edit: There's a more refined version of this on ao3 now and I updated it here as well

Buck's sex life went from mind-blowing, life-changing and so-so-active to Missing In Action in what felt like seconds, and unfortunately, his libido hasn't gotten the memo yet. He'd been advised to throw himself out there again multiple times now, but every single cell in his body recoils at the idea. I'm not your last, I'm your first. Yeah well, we'll see about that.

It feels like a no-brainer to start watching gay porn since that's what Buck's currently missing the most. He jerks off to a handsome guy—the hint of cleft in his chin may or may not have been the reason Buck clicked on the video—fucking into a pretty twunk, and honestly, Buck is having a good time. It’s only when tears begin to swell in his eyes after he comes with Tommy’s name on his lips that he realizes he should not do that again.

The next videos he watches pointedly feature plump bears and dainty twinks, but even then, Buck can't help but make comparisons. Can't hold a rhythm, not attentive enough, where are the reassurances?

Buck comes to a visceral, gut-wrenching realization: Every single guy he considers will have to measure up to one Thomas fucking Kinard from now on.

So.

No gay porn for Buck anymore.

He moves to het videos, and the second realization of his latest porn binge hits him a lot quicker. There is absolutely no way he will ever be able to go back to regular straight sex again. Buck is very, very bi, and even relationships with women will have to be queer from now on.

Of course, porn isn't reality, but being confronted with the exaggerated heteronormativity of it all—the idea of fulfilling a society-given role after Buck learned what things can feel like when he's allowed to be himself—makes his stomach churn.

Living in a post-Tommy world is not an easy feat.

Buck's baking bouts aren't enough to distract him. Doughs need chilling, batters need baking, and before the waiting time can make him spiral, Buck keeps going on a Goldilocks mission of trying to find just the right porn that would help him take his mind off Tommy.

Luckily, after browsing the most obscure, likely virus-infested websites the internet has to offer, Buck finds a video that instantly becomes a staple in his tabs—a comforting presence whenever he feels lonely, which these days is all the time. He doesn't even bother closing it.

As long as it took him to find the video, it’s quickly forgotten when Tommy and Buck make up.

The reunion is messy and like a balm for Buck's wounds. It is filled with tears and Tommy's ability to make difficult conversations feel easy—something Buck had desperately missed when Tommy chose to walk out of his life. It’s a skill Tommy can apparently lose when he’s petrified with fear. Buck vows to chip away at all of Tommy's worries now that Buck is aware of them. Now that Tommy lets him.

It's strange and not surprising at all how much like coming home it feels to have Tommy back. How easy it is for Buck to cook for them in his kitchen while Tommy looks for something they can watch later on Buck's laptop.

"I found this documentary about hyper-regional food," Tommy says.

Buck perks up from the herbs he's cutting. "Like Threads of God? Do you know that only three women in Sardinia know how to make that type of pasta?"

Tommy hums at that. "Sounds like we don't need to watch it."

Buck laughs and lowers his eyes to the herbs again. "No, I want to. But isn't there a new part of that car restoration series you like?"

"We can watch that later." Tommy emphasizes the last word in a way that makes another part of Buck perk up.

Early in their relationship, they found out that there are few things that can make Buck relax and fall asleep quicker than the sight of competent hands making old things look new to the rhythmic sound of metal being hammered and ground. This means Tommy has to make sure it's him that gets to tire Buck out before his favorite mechanics have a chance to. Thankfully, Tommy seems to be fine with Buck never reaching the end of any of the restoration videos he enjoys.

Tommy makes an intrigued noise of interest that breaks Buck out of his musings. "Ooor we can watch this."

Buck listens to the sounds of shuffling and smacking coming out of his laptop's speakers, confusion furrowing his brows before recognition seizes him by the throat.

"Oh my God!" The parsley Buck is holding ends up somewhere in Nirvana as he frees his hands to grab his laptop. "OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod—" Since when is closing a laptop so fucking difficult?

Tommy lets him fumble for a moment, a teasing smirk playing at his lips. It’s infuriating how he can just calmly wait till Buck, wide-eyed and pink-cheeked, finally meets his gaze. Only then does Tommy speak, slowly and deliberately, savoring each syllable.

"Woman With Dragon Dick Fucks Her Precious Girl."

Buck is glad he wasn't cutting chili because there's no way he can stop himself from pressing his fingers into his eyes as he whines, "You don't have to say it out loud!"

"I simply appreciate the originality of the title."

God, why was Buck a firefighter when he couldn't even do anything about his face being on fucking fire?

"Look, I missed you, and I couldn't watch gay porn because they either reminded me too much of you or they weren't you, and regular straight porn was tedious, so I found this feminist porn site, and I didn't feel bad about supporting them, and please, please don't judge—"

"Evan." Tommy says his name in a way that allows no ifs and buts. "I'm not judging." Whenever Tommy's voice falls into that no-nonsense sternness, something in Buck stills. He has learned to hold his breath when Tommy speaks to him like that. It's a Pavlovian reaction that only Tommy can ignite and it sends shivers down his spine. Tommy raises his thumb to the birthmark on Buck's temple, gently brushing it as his voice softens. "I'm taking note." Buck exhales shakily and leans into the touch.

Tommy reaches for the laptop, opens it, and enters the password that Buck shared with him even before they broke up. He moves to stand behind Buck, arms wrapped around him, as he hits play again.

The titular precious girl is on all fours surrounded by luxurious wine-red pillows and candlelight, purring kittenish noises into the mattress as the woman, adorned in gold and jewels only, kisses her neck and shoulders, murmuring sweet nothings into her skin. She's fucking her strap-on in between her thighs, making sure the dildo rubs against all the right spots.

"The shape is interesting," Tommy observes. He glances at Evan, curious about what kind of reaction his comment will provoke. Maybe some more bashfulness or a sweet sigh, similar to the ones the girl is making on screen while the dildo enters her.

Instead, Evan turns to him with an excited smile on his full lips. "Yeah, right? I found this website. Wait, hold on—" Evan pauses the video, opens a new tab, and Tommy is greeted with the sight of colorful, artfully crafted fantasy dildos. Handmade, apparently.

Evan starts rambling about which ones he finds the most appealing, what media they're inspired by. Tommy has never heard him talk this much about pop culture, and no one is ever allowed to know that Evan learned about Avatar this way. Howie would get an aneurysm.

Having Evan in his life means being in a constant state of whiplash, and Tommy has learned that he wouldn't have it any other way.

Tommy keeps in mind which ones Evan pointed out and makes a mental note to check out the cock sleeves the store offers before gently nudging Evan back to the porn.

"What else do you like about the video?" Evan relaxes back into him as they keep watching. Tommy can guess what Evan might find hot about it, something that has nothing to do with pretty girls kissing, but he would like to hear it from Evan before making assumptions. He also just wants to hear Evan, period.

"I like— I like that she's sweet to her? Women in straight femdom porn are usually just mean, like men being dominated by women is automatically degrading. I don't like that."

Tommy hums in acknowledgment, enjoys the small gasp he receives as he dips his fingers into a gap in Evan's button-down shirt, soothingly playing with the trail of hair on Evan's stomach. That Evan likes sweet talk isn't new information, but hearing it is always lovely. "Keep going," Tommy encourages.

"But she's also kind of… possessive about it? She calls her 'my treasure' a couple of times. I love it when she does. It's like—it's—she—she's—"

"Cherishing her?"

Evan sighs and nods, rubbing his temple against Tommy's.

Tommy leans in, noses at the pulse point of Evan's neck as he goes in for the kill. "Claiming her?"

Evan's moan sounds like it was punched out of him, and Tommy barely has enough time to hold onto the laptop to keep it from being dragged down as Evan turns to kiss him.

Tommy braces himself, gathering more and more courage with each kiss, praying to whoever might be listening that he's not mistaken when he asks, "You want me to hold on to you? Make you mine and never let go?"

A heart-wrenching sob escapes Evan's mouth, and Tommy swallows it greedily. "God yes, please!"

Evan keeps pressing pleas against his lips, and Tommy desperately wants to give in, but there is just one small thing that needs to be done first.

"Evan, the thing you're making, can—can that wait?" The last time they allowed themselves to get distracted while cooking, Evan kept pouting afterwards over the food being 'ruined'. In an attempt to cheer him up, Tommy had said that he couldn't tell the difference which had just made things worse. He wouldn't make that mistake again. There are many mistakes he wouldn't make again.

Evan utters a dazed noise before clarity settles into his beautiful features. "Oh. Yeah. It'll just marinate."

Tommy nods and moves to turn off the stove, Evan clinging to his side. He returns his attention to Evan, fingers playing with his curls.

The stove was a short distraction, but long enough to ensure that Tommy's next words are spoken with all the gravitas they deserve.

"My treasure."

Another broken sound escapes Evan's throat as he burrows into Tommy and continues what they started.

Tommy hates breaking things, but, God, does he love repairing them. He knows he has a lot to make up for, and he will do it happily. If that means wiping away his boyfriend's tears and indulging in his trauma-induced dragon kink, so be it.

[vvitchscvm-deactivated0666]

why are there suddenly a bunch of "radfems" who believe in biphobia

"biphobia" is what bisexuals accuse homosexuals of when we correctly point out your OSA privilege.

it has never been used as a credible description of an axis of oppression because there is no axis on which gay people oppress bisexuals.

let me be reiterate: there is no axis of oppression on which homosexuals oppress bisexuals.

what you are calling "biphobia" is the vocabulary of fed-up gays who have had our movement and often personal lives hijacked predominantly not by str8 people but gender-conforming college bisexuals with a complex about Not Being Gay Enough yet still too intimidated to try and eat pussy.

"Bisexuals will betray you" "bisexuals will use you for sex but not date you" "bi women will traffick lesbians to their male partners on request" "bi women will keep secret boyfriends and spring them on you"

NONE OF THAT is biphobia. Every last one of those things has happened to me and every other dyke I know and I've seen many make the news.

Who doesn't remember the post going around about polyamory wherein a lesbian opened up about her bi female partner luring, blackmailing and attempting to traffick her to a waiting man over the span of a YEAR?

The woman who left a decade-long lesbian relationship, immediately got engaged to a man and named her baby after her female ex? How about the woman who lied about being gay for some fifteen years only to remove their child from her wife's adoptive custody and give the child to a new male partner?

How about the one where a bisexual woman lured dozens of women to her home from lesbian dating apps for her boyfriend to spring himself on them in a sexual assault? How many victims was that? Seventy?

I see this shit once a fucking week. I see it in real life once a month. Have yall seen the Her app lately!!

Often I am victim to it in a corporate setting, because you cretinous yahoos have made my man-worshiping het-partnered bisexual female boss and co-workers believe bisexuals cannot perpetuate homophobia, and now I'm not allowed to call women in my kitchen "honey" anymore. Because it was bi women accusing me of flirting with them in addition to straight. This happened to me last month! That's not even counting the nasty way we get treated by bisexuals on this very platform!

That is what you fuckers do to gay people and especially gay women.

"Biphobia" is a liberal invention meant to silence homosexual critique of our most personally involved community-dwelling sex pests and predators.

It's fucking "transmisogyny" all over again. A fake oppression to shield an oppressor from responsibility to the oppressed.

Stop policing homosexual vocabulary when we criticize our oppressors. Every other minority group has the right to shit on the people who oppress them.

I see y'all making that argument about women and men all the time. Don't you dare dish what you cannot take.

Bisexuals oppress homosexuals.

If it seems like all the gays you meet are "biphobic", consider you may be the problem!

[starstruckbyacomet]

Who Didn't Want Buddie to be Canon?

Is it the network or the actor?

In regards with the notion that ABC's best chance to make canon Buddie happened was in Season 7 (for promotional purpose & screen time efficiency), there are speculations why it didn't happen. We know that Oliver Stark didn't mind to play bi Buck, so it's unlikely he was the cause. It leaves us with 2 remaining suspects: ABC and Ryan Guzman. Let's explore the result of each possible scenarios:

SCENARIO 1: BOTH ABC and Ryan AGREED to make Buddie canon.

What could possibly happened:

Buddie would be canon in Season 7. ABC would gain more hypes from Buddie shippers. There would be no need to re-introduce Tommy, or to make ep. 7x04 "Buck, Bothered, & Bewildered". The extra screen time could be used for other storylines, e.g. Kim-Eddie-Marisol, Amir, and the deleted Eddie & Christopher's conversation about how Eddie and Shannon met.

SCENARIO 2: ABC DIDN'T WANT to make Buddie canon, but Ryan WAS WILLING to play gay Eddie.

What could possibly happened:

Tommy would be re-introduced and paired with Eddie. ABC wanted either Buck or Eddie to have a bisexual awakening to bait attract new queer-leaning audience. Buck is more popular than Eddie among the majority of fans, who are mostly cis het women. That's also why the show sends Oliver for promotion more often than Ryan. Making Eddie queer instead of Buck, is a safer bet to minimize the risk of losing queer-averse audience.

SCENARIO 3: ABC WANTED to make Buddie canon, but Ryan DIDN'T WANT to play gay Eddie.

What could possibly happened:

Tommy would be re-introduced and directly paired with Buck, without even being considered to be paired with Eddie behind the scenes.

In this scenario, ABC's preference was canon Buddie (for promotional purpose & screen time efficiency). Oliver and Ryan would be asked whether they were willing to play queer Buck and queer Eddie. Lou Ferrigno Jr. would be called ONLY AFTER one of them refused, which most likely was Ryan. Since Ryan had refused to play a queer Eddie, it doesn't make sense to even consider pairing Tommy with Eddie. And Lou WOULDN'T SAY that "It was originally, possibly going to be with Eddie and Tommy, but that fell through," in his interview.

SCENARIO 4: ABC DIDN'T WANT to make Buddie canon, AND Ryan DIDN'T WANT to play gay Eddie.

What could possibly happened:

ABC wanted to bait attract new queer leaning audience. However, they already had Henren as the main queer couple on the show. Adding another main queer couple could upset their existing queer-adverse audience. One possible baiting strategy is to make either Buck or Eddie had a bisexual awakening, dated a man, broke up with the man, then continued to date women (and sometimes men, if necesaary). That way, either Buck or Eddie could claim the bisexual label but didn't have to show their queer relationships on screen for too long.

Tim Minear might have planned to make Buck bisexual since at least Season 2. However, after the show had been airing for 6 seasons, Buck seemed to be more popular among members of the general audience compared to Eddie. To minimize the risk of losing the existing queer-averse audience, Tim and/or ABC chose Ryan to be the one who'd play a queer character, with Tommy as his first boyfriend.

For whatever (probably more than one) reasons, Ryan refused. Thus, Tim was back to his initial plan: making Buck bisexual. Unlike Ryan, Oliver (whom probably had been told about the possibility of bisexual Buck since a long time ago), was easily on board. This makes sense considering what Lou said in his interview, "It was originally, possibly going to be with Eddie and Tommy, but that fell through. But Oliver was willing..."

CONCLUSION: Who didn't want Buddie to be canon? ABC or Ryan? It's ironic that the answer might have been inadvertently hinted almost a year ago, by unsuspecting Lou, nonetheless:

The fact that ABC even planned Eddie to be paired with Tommy, means ABC had rejected the idea of canon Buddie.

The fact that the plan fell through, most likely because it was rejected by Ryan, means Ryan didn't want to play a gay Eddie.

The most plausible answer is both. Both ABC and Ryan Guzman didn't want Buddie to be canon.

[shapelytimber]

Just saw your Star Wars sapphic AU, and,,,,, PLEASE tell me they're all actual sapphics/lesbians and not manlikers 😭 Just one sapphic AU without bihets and switch hitters in it PLEAAASEEE I can't handle any more of their cis man worship in this fandom

Ok so this message is disgusting ngl, but I will *try* (and fail) to take your message in good faith, and assume the weirder parts of it are born from ignorance and not a wish to other and harm members of the queer *community*, especially bi and trans people.... Right ?

No, not everyone in my sw au is a lesbian, or cis, that's why it's called a sapphic au and not a lesbian au. I started listing specific orientations in my recap, even if I usually like keaping it ambiguous.

But your message kinda rubbed me the wrong way :) so just for you anon, let me share the most bi aspects of my au !

- Padmé had multiple relationships before Anakin, Palo and Rush Clovis, both men.

- I ship Vader and Boba Fett, and in my au Vader uses he/him (contrary to Anakin who uses she/her, link to a previous ask were I explain it further) and Boba she/her, making it *technically* a het adjacent ship, and Boba bisexual.

- Obi wan and Lando are bisexual because obviously.

- I really like the idea of Luke being asexual bi romantic, and I like both the Luke/Biggs Darklighter and Luke/Zevulon Veers ships, both men (rip the Han/Luke shippers kdidkdk I respect it, but I prefer Hanleia-)

- And while I'm at it, Luke Lando and Han are all different flavors of non binary, so not women. (As a lesbian I do find non binary people attractive, and know non binary lesbians. But seeing how this ask is formulated, I just felt the need to reinstate that <3)

To sum it up, in my sapphic au I concider Obi wan, Padmé, Boba Fett, Lando, Leia and Luke bisexuals :)

Frankly, from a lesbian to another, in your message you sound like a huge loser who doesn't have male friends and experiences the queer community only through tumblr. Go outside bro, "manlikers" are awesome.

PS : English isn't my first language, so I had to google what "switch hitters" meant. I don't know if it's a slur, but what definition I could find said it implies a bi person is indecisive about their sexuality. And that sounds biphobic to me ngl- I could be wrong, but seing the dog shit message it's attached to....

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/768968789660467200/this-is-kind-of-late-but-in-response-to-fandoms#notes this is a nitpick, but i wish people would stop saying shit like "straight people can't experience biphobia." if a straight dude gets called a f*g that's still homophobic even if he isn't gay. if a straight woman has a dalliance with another woman to experiment, for instance, and she is attacked for that in some way, that's still biphobia or homophobia even if she's straight. it's just a really reductive way of understanding oppression. if a darker-skinned white person is attacked out of perception that they're not white, idk what structural thing you would say is motivating that but "racism," etc. and that's also how we get these bonkers takes that trans men can't "experience misogyny" when they are oppressed for being seen as women, or by stuff like restrictions on abortion and birth control. those restrictions are motivated by misogyny even if not every person they affect are women. but more importantly - this ask gets it the wrong way around. the "biphobia is just heterophobia" is based on the misconception that it's always phobia toward bi people's opposite-sex attraction. F/F and M/M fans being biphobic doesn't disprove that. the more relevant thing is when fans of an F/M ship are threatened by the idea that one of those characters might also experience same-sex attraction. which, tbh, that's where i see the bulk of the biphobia in fandom these days. i feel like very few M/M and F/F shippers these days are unaware of the existence of bisexuality or the potential for bi headcanons. if anything, i feel like i see more people attacked as "biphobic" just for disagreeing with a popular bi headcanon that people started to treat like it was canon rather than fanon, than genuine biphobia dealing with M/M and F/F ships. (i'm sure it's still around, especially since there's still way too much in the IRL gay and lesbian communities. but i see less of it personally) but have you guys spent much time in het-heavy fandoms? like all the drama that was going on with Bridgerton earlier this year? a lot of het-only shippers will still throw a huge fit at anyone perceiving their favs as bi, and genuinely seem to not understand that, say, a man can be attracted to both men and women and still be completely faithful to a wife/girlfriend in a monogamous relationship. like they still seem to see his bisexuality as making him "a little bit gay" or even suggesting he's not really into women at all. and then with bi women, a lot of them see headcanoning a woman in an F/M relationship that way as saying she's a slut. in a lot of het-focusd and het-only fandom, bisexuality is still anathema and a lot of people fundamentally don't seem to understand what it is. the biphobia is way more rampant than it is anywhere in M/M or F/F fandom these days. if you really want evidence that biphobia is not just phobia toward "the straight side" that's way better evidence of that point.

--

[tirfpikachu]

bruh just saw a post where a tumblrina got all defensive saying it's 1000% valid and above criticisms for a woman to get creeped out and be scared of stds if a dude she's into turns out to be bi

like. girl. this shit is why i don't fuck with bi & het women sometimes. if you either fetishize or feel grossed out by being with a man who just so happens to have had flings or relationships with other men... you're just a homophobe. gay/bi men can be lesbophobic. gay/bi women can be homophobic. the amount of homophobic dykes i see running around, running their mouths and still associating stigma with male homosexuality and even TYING IT UP TO STDS ??????? like holy fucking shit. did the aids crisis teach us nothing about lgbtq solidarity when gay/bi men were hit the hardest?? to me you're instantly as boring as any homophobic het tradwife. and i'm glad some gyns are calling it out in themselves and know they need to work on it, bc we all grow up under homophobic society, but some of y'all are making the craziest excuses and i'm instantly like HMMM noted. you would have 100% been the type of homophobic bi girl making gay/bi boys at school uncomfortable. gotcha. noted 📝

btw this includes if you suddenly learn your bf has a history of sexual trauma and you suddenly find him gross and "emasculated" btw. that's the heteropatriarchy lodged deep inside your brain. and i think you should get out of that man's life asap and let a cool bi chick snatch him up or smth. i see this especially with het women, which is why so many bi men are bi4bi when they're in het relationships, but honestly bi women aren't above it either... we need to send some respectful fujoshis over i stg cuz the biphobia is embarrassing af. and no, it's not the same as sexualities being at times sex/agab-exclusive, this is straight up just stigma. bisexual stigma. and picturing your male crush with another guy and being like "EWWW" like the homophobic bi girls in my highschool 💀💀 so ridiculous honestly. boohoo a dude you're into is not conforming to heteropatriarchal standards! shockers! y'all always say you want femboys and sweet anime yaoi boys or whatever but when a gnc guy hits you up and isn't straight you feel attacked and lose all respect for him?? such weirdos

[radfemfessing]

I find it a bit hilarious when women on here say that bisexual women can't possibly know what oppression for your sexuality is like. Or that bi women just don't have the experience of growing up facing homophobia, not knowing a way out etc etc because bi women can choose to just fuck a man anytime if they aren't in the mood for homophobia. And I can imagine that for some women, it might be like that? But it isn't for a lot of us. I am bi, yes. But I can NOT choose to be with a man anytime. I have an extreme preference for women, I had my sexual awakening and my first sexual experiences with girls, I only had relationships with women, I have only fallen in love with women. I didn't know I could like men until years after I discovered I was attracted to girls. And even then, I never felt the intense attraction and love that I have for women. I never wanted to be in a relationship with a man, I tried sex with them but it was so bad that I never want to do it again. I was beat up for having a girlfriend in school. Being with women in public has gotten me harrassed and threatened with violence. As a teenager I self harmed because of the homophobic bullying and I wished I was just "normal". The "Normal" never happened despite being able to be attracted to men. Do you think I would have gone through all of that bullshit if I could have said "lets date/marry a dude" anytime? Sexuality isn't a spectrum, bi women shouldn't call themselves lesbians, lesbians can date exclusively lesbians if they want to and het partnered bi women are privileged and hold oppressive power over lesbians. That's all true but why do these things always go along with "bi women are all bihets who could just date a man to get away from homophobia and thus dont know what homophobia is like". Sexuality isn't a spectrum, but bisexuality is. And some women are at the very far SSA end of it. Not the same experience as lesbians of course. But also not "can choose to be with a man anytime and is basically straight". All of you looove to believe in the bihet woman who doesn't even like pussy and only sees men as "the real thing" in regards to relationships and sex. Why is the opposite of that so impossible to believe in? Bi women who never considered men for relationships (and sex) and only have sex/relationships with women? It certainly is more rare but why should it be so impossible? My suspicion is that a lot of these women call themselves lesbians and that pushes two harmful myths: that bi women on the far SSA end of the bi spectrum don't exist. And that lesbians can be attracted to men, even if it's just a tiny bit. I encourage bi women like me and bi women in general to actually call themselves bi to end this bullshit.

🦧

[lorynna]

I hate how much radfems don't even bother to understand nuance when it comes to hetero and bi women's experiences or life choices. Like they instantly jump to them being male obsessed or pick me or weak minded or evil.

Trust me - I get you.

Some of them aren't better than ordinary male misogynists, going around and calling women cum-brained, cum-bucket or dick-lovers. I can promise, you will never find this shit on my blog. I don't care if you date a man or don't date a man, I will be here for you regardless because that is true female support.

Being hetero you don't have women as a dating option and if you're bisexual you will still suffer from the lack of lesbian representation that makes it hard for you to imagine a relationship with a female partner - additionally the dating pool of potential male partner is much bigger + more socially acceptable and the easier option if you family was for example homophobic.

It's just so hypocritical of them to pretend that they simply "don't want you to get killed" by a male partner and are therefore giving you "tough love" whenever you mention being in a het relationship or even slightly mention your male partner in a positive light. But they are not helping though, they genuinly aren't. By opposing the woman they supposedly want to help and insulting not only her but also the people she loves - let's take her boyfriend for an example - she will only be more likely to steep her feet into the ground. Tough "love" gets us nowhere. Acting like they're on some moral highground and a better person for being a seperatist also doesn't get us anywhere. It's just disgusting behavior.

I also feel like so many of those radfems fail to recognize/consider environmental influences that other women base their decisions on. I think that a large majority of radfems on tumblr are US citizens and i think we all know what's going on down there regarding women's rights.

For example, I am not a US citizen. I live in Europe but I feel like a lot of american radfems when engaging in a discourse with other radfems are often automatically assuming that the other woman is also american and therefore might be quicker to judge when they learn that she isn't seperatist for example. And I tell you, if I weren't living in a country that was allowing me to get an abortion when I needed, or was stripping me of my rights, I wouldn't engage in sexual relations with my male partner due to my own safety and if I hadn't met him years ago and was single - I wouldn't date a man either.

PICTURE

PICTURE

These all are responses I got when I criticized this issue regarding radfems bashing other radfems for being in het relationships and/or even slightly mentioning their male relatives or partners in a positive light.

They come to eat you alive, simply for stating your subjective reality. It doesn't matter that you are talking about it on your own, personal blog, detached from everything else - not a reblog where you are trying to take the focus off of someone else's rant about males - not intending to argue with other radfems meaning to disregard their negative experiences - simply by stating your subjective reality.

Then they go off with their assumptions, instantly telling you that for saying such things you must be throwing all other women under the bus for your 1st priority, your owner "Jakey" who is a walking UTI dispenser and because they know your relationship so well they also add on that you treat him like he's the best thing that ever happened to you while at the same time he doesn't care about you as a person. Since they also know very well about your finances and took a good, thorough look into the fortune telling ball, they are also able to point out that he's going to be unemployed in a month's time, which will pull you down alongside him.

And there we have it again, the "tough love" and "i know i am insulting you right now but trust and believe, we only want the best for you!"

Oh, shut up. You're not helping at all with your hateful rhetorics. If we are being completely honest to each other, we both know that what you are doing is not helping women at all and might even make them abandon radical feminist theory altogether.

Because honestly it's insane projection. There is no middle ground for some radfems, no layers to non existing differentiating opinion, it's either the one or other extreme. Either you are a cum-brained incompetent slut that loves her jakey and would immediately sacrifice all her fellow women for a drop of his attention or you are a good, celibate seperatist that would never touch a man and regularly blogs about #killallmen.

They say love women more than you hate men. These radfems still haven't gotten the message.

[theoldlesbianwithcats]

It pains me to see how low gold stars' self-esteem can be, because we've been gaslit by the so-called lesbian community to think of ourselves as privileged no matter how much shit we went through for being lesbians.

I was thinking of this because I stumbled upon a twitch channel hosted by a fakebian and her gold star girlfriend. They were talking about their couple, their sexuality, their past, etc. The gold star was apologetic and kept saying that she was so much luckier than her girlfriend because she didn't "go through comphet".

However, here are the facts as they were telling them. The gold star:

Got repeatedly belittled by her mother for being a lesbian as a teen ("you're only a lesbian because you're too ugly to please men")

As a result, allowed many bicurious girls and women to "experiment" with her (= use her sexually)

Had a toxic long-term relationship where she was raped

Was the live-in sidechick of a bi woman in a het marriage for years, even though she admits that it destroyed her mental health, until the bi woman left the husband for her (that's the fakebian)

The fakebian:

Had many boyfriends and was in a happy marriage with a guy for years, has a child with him, still friends with the guy.

Bragged about having an open-minded family who never cared if she liked women, admitted that she never felt any social pressure to be with men but just went with the flow

That's it.

The fakebian never told her girlfriend that no, actually, she was the one who had it easy and being a gold star seems very difficult. It's very clear that she's still the one calling the shots in the relationship and the gold star got brainwashed into thinking that having boundaries or desires is messed up. The gs would say things like "It took her a few times to start reciprocating but it's ok! I never asked anything of her, it's fine, I swear! It would have been fucked up to expect her to reciprocate since she had never been with a woman! I prefer giving anyway!" (meanwhile the fakebian was repeating to the nervous bicurious women in the chat that they'll always be better in bed than any man ever) and "I never minded being a bi woman's first time with a woman, no one cares!" and her gf answered "only assholes care about that" 😬

I'd like to help other gold stars be unapologetically themselves, to know who they are, what they want and speak up about it, to be in touch with their emotions and their instincts, but that lack of confidence and boundaries can be so ingrained I don't even know where to start...

[lesbianp1lled]

It sucks, because compulsory het could have been an interesting theory—there is absolutely social pressure that rewards women for being in straight relationships. There's also economic benefits (filing taxes as a married couple wasn't available for all gay couples until 2015), women are praised for having children with men, etc. This is a very real phenomenon.

Absolutely none of this means that lesbians want to have sex with men. The "masterdoc" absolutely destroyed useful vocab to discuss the way society rewards hets and punishes gays and lesbians, in addition to devastating the lesbian community by filling it with larping bis

I do believe societally women do get praise and a lot of benefits for being in a heterosexual relationship, this is true. But a LESBIAN is never going to sleep with a man when it goes against her natural sexual orientation. One of the most traumatising things I can think of as a lesbian would be having sex with a man. It would be traumatising, point blank. So when I see women who call themselves lesbians say they’ve had sex, consensual sex, with men I know we are not the same. Because this is something as a lesbian I would never do, and I know plenty of other lesbians that feel the same.

[insectfem]

your rs with your bf sounds awesome but as a radfem I don't know how to overcome the shame of being bi/attracted to men/wanting a rs with a man. how did you?

hi thank you! now, honestly, i do still feel a sense of shame, but im in love, and im not gonna hide a huge part of my life over the fear of being called a Fake Feminist. the biggest thing for me to remember is that.... a lot of feminist 'icons' or whatever were/are het partnered. jk rowling has been married for 23 years and loves her husband, and she's very popular on radblr. andrea dworkin (despite being a polilez) called a man the love of her life. norma mccorvey (jane roe) was bisexual and raised 2 children with a man. chimamanda ngozi adichie has a husband and a daughter with him. a huge part of feminism is helping heterosexual women live life while partnering with men (abortion, divorce, separate bank accounts, etc), considering the fact hetero and hetpartnered women make up the vast majortiy of female humans on this planet. hetero and bi women have done so much for feminism while being partnered with men, it's literally stupid to try and ignore it

there is no shame in being in love. if you have a safe, warm, loving partner that you share views with, and treats you with the utmost respect, there's no reason to have shame. most women on here who shame hetpartnered women are lonely, hateful, and misogynistic. they're not familiar with human relationships, and that is THEIR problem😭 it isn't our responsibility as bisexual women to defend our male partners and explain why we love them and all that. if they don't understand that people who are different can love and respect each other, then they're pretty much a lost cause

[wolfertinger]

I question how people aren't calling out the fact that salem is dating someone who identifies as a lesbian AND bisexual, and salem is a trans man. I dont see anyone else talk about it outwardly except for this blog and its like, hello? are people just fine with it bc "oh, good for them, not my place to dictate someones sexuality ^p^". I'd also understand because like, salem has 50k+ followers on here and you may get some nasty stuff lol. And oh BROTHER I saw a post from Wis saying "I might be bi but i keep the lesbian flag around because lesbians are awesome and I love lesbians." Bestie, you can just say you're Bisexual with a sapphic lean

for some reason. bi phobia is extremely rampant in the queer community. if you are a woman, and date a man. how are you a lesbian, at the end of the day. i ask this honestly. why is simply being bisexual, such a big deal, unless you are actually biphobic, or think being bisexual, is in some way inferior or scary. and admitting publicly, you are adopting the lesbian flag even though you are a bisexual woman, dating a transgender man?

again. any self respecting trans man. would NOT be comfortable with dating a person calling themselves a woman who loves women.

to that topic. i find it ironic. the amount of slurs the two are willing to throw around, while being in a "het" relationship. maybe, they feel the need to say "d*ke" "f*g" and "tr*nny" all the time, to make sure everyone knows they are queer. when really. they look like suburban middle school kids discovering slurs.

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

911 Thoughts

Haven't watched the new episode yet, so bare with me. I have some thoughts on the recent Bi-Buck stuff and they are semi conflicting and all over the place so I am putting it all in one post.

Firstly: The show has always been queer, it had gay characters since the start. I agree that it's not just gay now.

Buck being Bi is still amazing and huge. For many reasons: the figuring it out late rep, and the fact that we have seen hints for ages, we have all been here we have all seen it, and it finally happen. 7 Seasons in.

I do think it's good for Buck to explore dating men and figuring stuff out before jumping into buddie (if we are getting buddie)

I like Tommy. I think he and Buck have a nice chemestry.

I understand why people like the Even bit, but personal pet peeve. I hate when characters do that. Like at least give me a scene where Buck gets asked if he wants to be called Evan. I don't know I hate when someone has a prefer way to be called and then another character ingores that. At least give me a scene where he asks. Like ok I can assume Buck is ok with it and maybe he asked off screen, but like let me see it.

That said, it's not nearly as annoying then when Anna full named Eddie. That shit got my nerves. It felt like it was full naming him like you would a child who is in trouble.

Speaking of which: If no buddie, can we all agree that Eddie should be single. I don't know what it is about 911 that lets them write amazing female characters and then renders them unable to write a decent one for Eddie to play off, I don't know why someone that I know can have chemestry with women (Ryan Guzman) suddenly is unable to have any in this role. But it's painful to watch. The man has moved on from his dead wife, he just likes to be single. If the writers can't have a love interest that feels like it's there for more reasons then to remind people Eddie is straight by giving him emotional scenes with women instead of just with Buck then they just fucking need to stop and keep him single.

Like I said I like Tommy, and I do not think that Buck being Bi is useless or lessen if we don't get buddie.

That said if we are not getting buddie I will forever find it a little sus that they give Buck a male love interest that is so similar to Eddie.

I still want buddie. Not just because it's a ship between two main characters, who are equal in the series, and it would be the first gay ship between main characters in the show (SIDE NOTE: I can't help but notice that despite HenRen being amazing, they are the only major romantic relationship of the show that is One Main and One Side character, and it's the gay one. Like yes 911 has always been gay but it has not always been equal) but also beacause it would be first slow burn multi season gay ship in tv history (at least in the west).

Think about it, the hets have many ships like that, multi seasons arcs, slowly showing us them falling for each other. Pam and Jim; Booth and Bones; The main ships from Parks and Recs (I don't remember the names); Amy and Jake from B99. And many many more. But with gay ships if they are both main characters (rare) it always starts in the first season they got introuduced. Or they are already together, or they get a side character. I am not saying those are lesser ships, and sometimes that is the good choice for a show but I want my gay multi season slowburn (and don't say suprenatural I am not counting that)

GIVE ME DEMI EDDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[vvitchscvm-deactivated0666]

honestly I find bi women who yell "biphobia" at lesbians calling out bi womens bullshit very revealing. In the sense that they reveal themselves to have no clue about seriously wanting to date other women and probably having very little experience in that regard (and probably not WANTING that experience). Or that they are straight up liars trying to conceal literal trafficking and rape. I am bi myself and I only date women, always have. So I use dating apps, go to the occaisonal party and I was on a bunch of dates with other women, was in situationships and relationships with women over the years. Doing all that, I have experienced a lot of horrible things with other bi women. The typical "tricking you into letting my male partner rape you" thing several times (luckily got away each time), the homophobia of "I think I want something real (dick) after all, sorry", being made out with at a party only to realize that she wanted to turn on her male partner, thinking I was dating a bi woman who also prefered women only for her to say the most disgusting homophobic shit to me when leaving me for a man. And so on. That's not "biphobia", every woman who seriously wants to date women knows that these things happen quite often with bi women. It's common sense. Like the TiMs flooding female only dating app cathegories, there are a lot of bi women catfishing for their men. I once made a compilation of screenshots of both of these instances to show my friends what a horrible experience it is to try to do online dating as a woman attracted to women. This is not meant to say "oh I have it as bad as lesbians". It's just to underline that either these women are outright lying and consiously protecting this harmful behaviour or they never tried to seriously date other bi women. From my personal experience, there is no way to seriously claim ignorance on this issue for bi women. Either way, it's a defensive homophobic knee jerk reaction ultimately defending something that mainly benefits men and het partnered women while harming lesbians. It's insane or a lie to claim otherwise

sorry it took me a minute to answer this nonny it's been a busy week lol

thank u for taking the time to type this & i appreciate your clarity.

thank u also for giving me hope there are normal bisexual women out there 😭

Idk why everyone is always going on about bisexuals incorrectly identifying as gay when it's straight women out here identifying as bisexual

there's even been some discourse from women here who ID'd as bi until getting into radical feminism, learning what objectification means and realizing they were straight all along

i think intelligent, well-spoken bisexual women such as yourself should have a long talk with lesbians about the bi-identifying or even lesbian-identifying straight women catfishing who plague our community.

[lokiinmediasideblog]

It's just me or Loki stans tend not to care about female character's much? One thing I've noticed about Loki-centric blogs is that some of them have side blorbos, but always male blorbos. They only care about female characters when they have some canon connection to Loki so they can talk about him through talking about her, and only when the connection in question is platonic (Verity, Frigga...). When Loki has a canonically romantic/sexual connection with a woman (Amora, Sylvie, Lorelei, etc) they either demonize her or erase the romantic factor to make them into ~mean queer besties~ like he's her gay bff. There's a difference between disliking het (valid) and erasing the canon dynamic of his relationships with women because the thought of their canon bi fave liking icky women makes them uncomfortable. Face it, Loki fandom: your fave likes boobs and coochie, stop pretending otherwise. You don't have to personally ship het to recognize that some women canonically turn him on and/or matter to him romantically.

I don't think it's unique to Loki stans. It's a misogyny problem that is both based on the biases within fandom and those of the writers. The Loki fandom is far from being the only one that targets a woman love interest so viciously (*cough* ST fandom, I've also heard other Marvel ships are like that too). And I definitely do get annoyed when Loki's bisexuality gets erased because they don't deem the female characters worthy. And yea, they'll always try to make it platonic with women characters. The "these two characters with little shared background that kissed are siblings" shit is so fucking annoying. It's fine if it's not your cup of tea,but pretending they have "sibling energy" is weird.

Writing biases:

S2 gave very little exploration to the female characters. And most Marvel female characters have little depth. Like just look at the Thor movies, we don't know much about Sif (personality is the woman warrior), Frigga(personality is mom), and Jane is just there as love interest for Thor. Valkyrie's interesting but her name isn't given in Ragnarok, and I heard she got sidelined in TLAT, the movie I refuse to watch. Sylvie had decent focus in S1 but was sidelined in S2 and relegated to product placement.

Speaking of the source material, I am not joking when I say many of the female character's characterizations in the comics before maybe the 2010s were nothing but "wanting to fuck Thor." Also, BW was a prime example of Whedon's "empowering" brand of sexualized strong female character and took forever to get her movie after getting unceremoniously fridged.

Granted, I have not kept up-to-date with Marvel movies because I am only interested in Loki and I find a lot of characters annoying, in case the shitty writing conventions for female characters have improved.

Fandom biases:

Fandom can't stomach anything other than saccharine sweetness as a personality for women, especially when they interact with a popular male character. It has been shown that in real life, women are more likely to be seen as rude or bitches for more tame behavior than men.

People claiming that Mobius was "compassionate" for blaming Loki for his mother's death and locking him in a time loop where he's beaten repeatedly, while Sylvie calling him a "clown" was "abusive".

This is interesting and one of the many examples against "abusive women are given a pass" because the "victim" in question is the same Tumblr sexyman, but the woman's non-abusive behavior that makes sense in-context is scrutinized ridiculously and Loki was not hurt physically by it, while Mobius "gave him therapy".

No one can even argue it's because Loki is the Tumblr fandom fave rather than pure fucking misogyny because actual harm to Loki gets passed as being for his own good by a rather vocal portion of fans when it's a man doing it. You'd think the fandom would have lost their shit over one of the OG Tumblr Sexymen being mistreated. But nah. (And yes, I forgave Mobius for risking his skin for Loki in S2, lol. He more than made up for it.).

Also, Sylvie RIGHTFULLY called Mobius out for putting his head in the dirt like a fucking ostrich, and the fandom threw a fit and babied him.