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green-fifteen · 2 years ago

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YOTP January: First Kiss, Fake Dating

Title: emotional rollercoaster (of love)

Fandom: Star Trek AOS

Pairing: Kirk/Spock

Word count: 3,761

Written for: @yearoftheotpevent

read on ao3

Jim woke up in a good mood. The stars outside his window were bright. His uniform fit him like a glove in all the right places. He was on the greatest ship in the 'Fleet and his crew were the best in their fields.

It was just that kind of day.

His mood didn't sour throughout the first part of his shift, even when they recieved an urgent communication from the local diplomats of Horace Twelve.

"We cannot beam aboard today," said the attache to the Chief Matriarch. "The Matriarch is not well. I'm afraid you will have to join us on the planet. We apologize for the inconvenience, Captain."

Jim didn't feel inconvenienced. He was looking forward to seeing the place.

He had Spock send him a data packet on surface conditions, then went to fetch his Starfleet-issue parka. He met the rest of the away team on the transporter pad. Uhura, Sulu, Kilroy, and Benison stood waiting for him. He laughed at their puffy coats and furry hoods, then they all beamed down together.

The team from Horace Twelve was supposed to come to the Enterprise to finish negotiations. This was the final day of talks surrounding their admission into the Federation. There was very little left to do and Admiral Komack had already given Jim leave to take any legal action required to come to an agreement. Jim had read the briefing they sent about this little world and thought Starfleet might actually overlook any action taken to secure that much raw dilithium, legal or otherwise. It felt good to have that kind of creative freedom.

They were led to a podium inside a building that reminded him of a breezy open-air temple. It was freezing and the humans (plus Kilroy, a Betazoid on his father's side) instictively huddled close like penguins. Strangely, no one emerged with any paperwork or a list of concerns, as Jim had been expecting. There were really only formalities left to cross off the list.

Instead, the Chief Matriarch herself appeared, towing a younger female Horatian behind her. She led her to stand in front of the podium and then took Jim's hand in her own.

"If you will come with me, Captain Kirk," she intoned gravely. Jim went where she led him, right next to the girl. He quirked an eyebrow at her, but she only cocked her head in a curious movement.

"Captain, the negotations have proceeded well. We are grateful for the work you have done to facilitate our entry into your Federation of Planets. Therefore, before we finish these negotiations, we have decided to give you a gift." Her attache took something from the Matriarch's hand and came toward Jim and the young girl.

Jim was beginning to get a strange feeling about this. He felt the same generosity of spirit and lightness he had upon waking, but now he thought he might need to call Spock.

The attache lifted Jim's hand to place it atop the girl's. Before he could manage, he heard Uhura's voice snap through the silent hall.

"Wait," she called, voice bright with authority. Jim looked at her, smiling a question. She looked back at him with a concerned expression.

"The Captain must consult with his command team before accepting your gift, although it is very generous," she said politely. Jim was tugged away from the podium and a few steps away. "Let us take some time to discuss it."

The Chief Matriarch looked upset. The girl at the podium simply smiled at Jim as he was manhandled away by a grimacing Uhura.

She waited until they were out of earshot to round on him.

"Respectfully, Captain, what do you think you are doing?"

Jim looked to Sulu, whose boggled expression plainly said, No, actually what the hell is wrong with you? Jim almost laughed at the way his eyebrows pinched in like that. Sulu had a very expressive face.

He said, "I was trying to finish up negotiations. So we can all go home." As he said it, it didn't feel quite true. After all, why should he be in a hurry to leave Horace Twelve? Horace Twelve was lovely.

Wind from the open stone doorway dragged his hood away from his face and he hissed at the biting cold.

Uhura wasn't finished. "They were marrying you. Captain. I'm sure you noticed."

Jim had not, in fact, noticed. He looked back at the podium and saw that the attache was holding a pale blue ribbon in one hand. He remembered seeing one just like it in the dossier on Horatian cultural norms and mores. It was protocol for each member of an away team to be familiar with basic things like 'how to avoid getting married by accident' before interacting with a new civilization. Jim laughed to himself about the near-miss. What would he have said to Spock if he'd let himself get hitched on a diplomatic mission? A distant part of his mind remarked that he probably wouldn't find it very funny.

He said, "I think we should call Commander Spock."

+++

The away team stayed on the planet and made reassuring remarks to the Horatians as Spock consulted the admirality on board the Enterprise. Approximately two Standard hours after he recieved Uhura's transmission, he appeared in the doorway to the temple.

He greeted the group with a nod, then said, "Captain."

"Commander," said Jim. He tried to push his pleasure at seeing him into his voice. "Report?"

Spock's eyebrow twitched. "Admiral Komack requests that we use any means necessary to conclude negotiations and secure access to this planet's mining operation. He is aware of the situation, as it stands."

Uhura made an outraged noise. "Is he saying the Captain should go through with this?"

"Perhaps it might be best to discuss the matter with the Horatian Matriarch before making decisions," he remarked, dry as ever.

Discussions did not go well.

They were led to a wide stone table in a different chamber within the temple, where the Enterprise team sat on one side and the Horatians sat on the other. Jim said things like "Terran customs dictate..." and "...happy to find a suitable alternative..." but each time the Matriarch replied with a rebuttal (I'm sure it's the only way. and You insult my fair daughter, Captain. and Shouldn't we unite our cultures for real intergration?) he found himself seriously considering her argument. If he weren't feeling so damn good, he was pretty sure he would be alarmed by that. It was too confusing. Why was he so disoriented?

Not even 10 minutes into talking, he wordlessly pleaded for Spock to take over. Spock caught his look and took control of the conversation. Gratefully, Jim tuned out the Matriarch to watch his First Officer command the attention of the room.

That old feeling bloomed in his chest. The one he'd been very good at ignoring. It was difficult to remember why he hadn't liked feeling it, as he looked at Spock now. Spock was cool, confident, in control. Having him around made Jim feel safe and supported. It didn't make sense to resist him.

Something must have shown on his face, because Kilroy was looking at him strangely. Actually, Kilroy was half Betazoid, right? Maybe he could sense his sudden outpouring of fondness for Spock.

Spock was trying to get his attention by tapping his foot under the table. Jim tapped back, delighted.

"On that point, you are misinformed," Spock said to the Matriarch's attache.

Every head turned to look at Spock, and then at Jim.

In a slow, deliberate movement, Spock lifted Jim's hand to his face and pressed his wrist just under the hinge of his jaw. The air exited Jim's lungs. The rest of the table seemed to be having a similar reaction as Spock placed his own wrist near Jim's left jaw.

He knew what this was, of course he did. Just as the away team knew how to avoid being married, they also knew how to avoid intimate and romantic gestures. This was to prevent anyone getting into the alien planet equivalent of a good old-fashioned bar fight over somebody else's girl. It was not so that first officers could perform them on their unsuspecting captains in the middle of negotiations.

Spock was definitely misusing the cultural dossier. Jim's heart beat much faster than normal.

The Matriarch went an interesting shade of violet.

"This was not disclosed to us in the personnel briefing."

Spock lowered their arms, but didn't let go of Jim's hand.

"Our relationship was deemed irrelevant. We acknowledge the oversight," he said, primly.

Uhura had a resigned expression on her face. Sulu was clearly trying not to laugh. Benison was stoically gazing at them and Kilroy's mouth was doing something strange.

The Matriarch looked stubborn, but her features softened minutely as Spock pulled two fingers across the palm of Jim's captured hand. Jim thought he might faint from bewildered happiness. There was somethng wrong with him. Then again, maybe there was something wrong with Spock. He'd just been Vulcan kissed.

The Horatian Matriarch relented easily after that, allowing them to close discussions the standard way, with signed agreements and such. Her face was back to its usual healthy crimson.

Jim knew that smiling like a love-struck idiot was inadvisable, so he attempted not to. It was very difficult. He could feel Lieutenant Kilroy's eyes on him.

Finally, after what left like an eternity sitting at Spock's side and holding his hand, it was over and they could beam back aboard the Enterprise.

When they reached the transporter room, he removed his parka and pulled his clothes away from his skin where'd he'd sweat into them. It was weirdly quiet when he finished and he looked around to see that no one had done the same. They all still wore their heavy coats and they were all staring at him.

"What?" he asked. He'd been having muzzy thoughts about taking a water shower in his quarters and then passing out, as his shift had ended more than an hour ago. He could see from their faces that he might have to reschedule.

"Spock to Medical," Spock said into his communicator. "Captain Kirk is showing signs of abnormal behavior. I am bringing him to Medbay. Spock out."

Jim blinked and he was being herded toward Medical by Spock.

Bones yelled when he saw him and he knew they were both asking him questions. The lights of Medbay seemed intolerably bright. He didn't remember them being that bright, before.

"Can you say that again?" he said, maybe slurring a little.

Bones scowled in that way of his. It meant I am concerned about you and it's your fault. Jim smiled to see it.

"How do you feel, Jim?" Bones asked. It sounded like it wasn't the first time he'd asked.

Jim thought about the question. How did he feel? Well, he was happy to be with Bones, his best friend. He was happy that Spock had come with him because he was always happy to be around Spock, even if they were just standing around in the Bridge on duty. Especially then. He loved to watch Spock work-- he was brilliant. And he liked it that Spock backed him up whenever he had to make Captain-y judgement calls.

"Great," he said truthfully. There had been some unpleasant business on Horace Twelve, he was pretty sure, but Spock had helped him to take care of it and now they were home on the Enterprise. His eyes were heavy, so he closed them.

He heard Bones and Spock discussing something, maybe asking more questions. He heard a different voice speak up from the door to Medbay.

"Commander Spock. Lieutenant-Commander McCoy," it said. It sounded like Lieutenant Kilroy.

Jim heard "strange reactions" and "projecting all over the place, I didn't mean to invade his privacy." He wanted to tell Kilroy he didn't do anything wrong. Probably. It was Jim who was wrong, right? Something was wrong. His hearing was going wobbly.

Unable to fight the sudden dizzy feeling in his head, he decided to just stop listening.

+++

Jim woke up in a terrible mood. He was in Medbay, which was already awful. On top of that, his head was pounding.

The machines picked up his brain activity and Bones was next to him immediately.

"Gur," Jim croaked. "What the hell happened?"

He checked a readout and shined a light into both of Jim's eyes before answering.

"You were drugged," Bones said tersely. "Flooded up to your eyeballs in happy, suggestible chemicals. I couldn't get you to stop smiling and then you almost cracked your fool head open on the floor in front of me. We're lucky Lieutenant Kilroy was able to tell me your symptoms."

Jim started to remember. They'd beamed down to the planet because the Matriarch said she wasn't well. They'd worn those ridiculous puffy coats. Jim had stood next to someone who he didn't recognize and almost held her hand. Was that a Horatian marriage ribbon? Oh no. The rest of the afternoon played behind his eyelids in perfect clarity. He covered his face.

"Please tell me I'm not actually married to anyone." He could hear how pathetic his voice sounded. He was too busy being embarassed to care.

Bones snorted in an unfriendly way. "Nope. Not married."

Jim dropped his hands from his face to look at him, relieved. Bones only smirked and jabbed something in his neck.

"Your boyfriend is waiting outside to talk to you, however."

Jim hissed and jerked away from him. "Damn it, Bones! Wait, who... Spock?"

The doors opened to admit his first officer, who strode to stand next to the biobed.

"Captain," he said. "Are you well?"

He thought about it for a moment. "I feel like hell."

Spock gave a quick nod. "I am gratified to hear that."

Bones laughed, because he was an asshole.

+++

Obviously, they had to launch an investigation and renegotiate the terms of Horace Twelve's admission into the Federation. Jim was pissed off and already tired.

He let Security deal with the first task and stared gathering crew members to help him with the second. When the Horatians beamed aboard, they were greeted by Jim, Spock, Uhura, Sulu, Kilroy, and Jana, a science officer from Betazed. Spock had instructed Jana to notify Doctor McCoy immediately if she noticed any abnormal changes in mood among the Enterprise group. Kilroy was told to monitor Captain Kirk, specifically. Jim rankled and ordered him to also include Spock in his observations.

They'd had a moment of eye contact after that, Jim thinking I'm right at him and Spock giving nothing away, as usual. Jim had looked away first, unable to stop remembering the feeling of his fingers on his palm whenever he saw him. If he wasn't careful, he knew it would distract him all day, and they needed to be alert. He resolved to keep a careful distance and to minimize eye contact with Spock. For his own sanity.

His plan was promptly ruined when the Matriarch took one look at them, standing stiffly next to the transporter pad and said, "Ah, the lovers." She sounded sardonic. Jim could hear Komack's voice in his head saying "The dilithium, Kirk. I want you to woo that planet." Resigned, he smiled at her and moved closer to his First Officer.

Jim's mood only got worse as discussions progressed. There wasn't much to be learned from them that Security hadn't already gleaned in their initial interviews. Apparently, the drug they'd given Jim was always given to a bride or groom the night before a wedding to ease their nerves. According to the Matriarch, wedding celebrations on Horace Twelve could last anywhere from 3 weeks to 2 Standard months. The dose they'd given him would have lasted a Horatian an entire week and would not have affected them so intensely, but they hadn't accounted for Jim's human metabolism. It was that kind of carelessness that earned planets fourteen extra contract clauses.

Spock was keeping up their romantic charade admirably, but Jim knew he was making it difficult. Spock stayed by his side at the table during each session of talks. He touched his wrist when he referred to him. As they filed out of the room during breaks, Spock ostentatiously lifted his hand for Jim to rest two fingers there. If it weren't so painful, it would be sickening.

There was a weird tightness in his chest as he thought about Kilroy sitting on his other side, listening in on his emotions. Could he sense the way Jim's heart kicked up when Spock looked at him? Did he know that Jim's skin felt electrified just before Spock put his fingers on him? That feeling he had been unable to supress on the planet-- it was back. It was like letting it loose had only made it stronger. Like letting himself feel it only made it more difficult to stop. He did his best to push it away and out of reach of empaths and touch telepaths. Oh God, could Spock feel it? Jim was sure he wouldn't violate his privacy on purpose, but that wasn't as reassuring as it should have been. What had Kilroy said the day before? He'd been 'projecting all over the place.' Was that just because of the drug? Was he still projecting now?

When they resumed the discussion after the midday break, Jim couldn't stop himself from flinching away every time Spock reached to touch him. He didn't meet his eyes. Spock must have noticed, because he stopped finding Jim's wrist on the table top. When the final session ended and the Horatians had beamed back down to the planet, he only put a hand briefly on Jim's shoulder before he strode away.

Jim clenched his eyes shut and told Uhura he had a headache. Kilroy said nothing.

In the evening, after his shift, Jim decided to work through his goddamn emotions. He considered taking a page out of Spock's book and meditating in his quarters, but he was a restless kind of upset. He didn't think he would even be able to start the breathing exercises before he was up again, pacing. Instead, he walked to the observation deck.

+++

Seeing the stars like this always made him feel weirdly at home. It hadn't made sense to Bones when he mentioned it to him. He'd just named ten different kinds of viral infection he could catch in space and called him an idiot.

But maybe being born in space meant he belonged there. Then again, maybe he just inherited it from his mother.

He wasn't alone for long before he heard someone sidle up to him. A quick glance showed him Spock, buttoned up and straight-backed. He was looking out the window.

"I apologize," he said. Jim's whole body twitched and he started to protest.

"I apologize," Spock said, holding up a hand to quiet him. "For my actions on the planet."

Jim stopped, confused. His actions on the planet?

"I wish to be honest with you, Captain." He knew Spock well enough to see the tension in his muscles. "There was a 73.7 per cent probability that the situation involving the Matriarch's daughter could have been resolved satisfactorily in another way. However, I chose the most efficient option, not anticipating that it would cause you discomfort. For that, I apologize."

Jim's eyebrows bunched together. "What's done is done, Spock," he told him. "It's probably for the best that you lied to them. I was just a few minutes away from having my fainting spell."

"Twenty-one point two one minutes," Spock corrected.

"Exactly. Any longer at that table, I might not have been able to make it back to the Enteprrise by myself."

"I would have carried you back."

Jim blinked. "But I'm glad you didn't. That would be too embarassing, especially on a diplomatic mission like this."

Spock looked even more rigid. "Indeed."

They stood together and watched the darkness outside the hull. Jim could feel the balloon of emotions rising to the surface and held it down desperately.

"I know it probably made you uncomfortable today, having to touch me so much. Vulcans aren't big on PDA, right?"

Jim saw Spock incline his head out of the corner of his eye. "In general, no, Vulcans do not engage in affectionate displays."

There was a moment of silence.

"I was not, however, uncomfortable."

Jim looked at Spock and Spock turned toward him. "I'm--" Jim started.

Spock interrupted him. "I had no indication that you would lose consciousness on Horace Twelve and thus there was little need for haste, when I made the decision to decieve the Chief Matriarch."

He looked down. Jim stared at the top of his First Officer's head.

"I am a touch telepath. According to every precept of logic, I should not have chosen to touch your hands or kiss you in the Vulcan manner. Nevertheless, I did." He gazed at the observation window again.

"It did not displease me to touch you, Captain."

Jim couldn't say anything. He didn't want to leave Spock hanging after what was clearly an emotional confession, but he was having an internal crisis. The balloon was rising faster than he could stop it and he held onto it for dear life, trying not to blurt something stupid before he fully understood what was happening.

"Do you--" he cleared his throat. "What do you mean, exactly?"

He hoped he knew. He didn't think he could hold on very much longer.

"When you fell to the ground in Medbay, before Lieutenant Kilroy informed us of the situation, I was... emotional. I was reminded of your most recent loss of consciousness."

The last time he'd, what? Passed out? That must have been after... oh. Had it really only been a year since Khan? Jim remembered the feeling the cold glass warming under his and Spock's hands. He remembered Spock had called him his friend. His friend.

"Although it was illogical, I felt regret, that I had not told you of my regard before I kissed you on the planet. I was determined to rectify the situation when you woke."

Jim was losing his grip. "Regard, Spock?" he asked, softly. "What are you telling me?"

His eyes lifted to find Jim's. "I am in love with you."

Jim's smile felt like instinct. He moved closer to Spock and took his hand. The feeling in his chest started to leak out and he didn't stop it. He kissed him instead.

+++

The next morning, during the first break in meetings, Kilroy submitted a warning to Doctor McCoy.

It read:

Notice-- CPT Kirk and CDR Spock way too happy. Please advise.

10 notes · View notes

tinderbox210 · 2 years ago

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Compilation of parallels and connections between La’an and Spock

I made this list mostly to keep track for my gif sets, but it’s also a list of all the reasons why I love this ship so much. There are some headcanons inbetween but all based on established canon.

I will add more (or make a 2nd list) if I find more, especially when S2 airs. Feel free to let me know in case I have forgotten something.

Also I apologize for the ridiculous length of this post, but when I started to actually write down everything that came to my mind, I realized how much these two characters truly have in common. While they are different on first glance, they share too many core qualities and experiences and too many parallels in their character arcs to ignore or dismiss them as coincidence.

Heritage/Childhood:

1. Both are not entirely “human” with unusual genetics with Spock being one of few human/Vulcan hybrids and La’an being an Augment descendant.

2. Both had a difficult childhood, including traumatic experiences, which shaped and still reflected in their personalities and behaviors.

3. Both suffered from being bullied and excluded by other children, being considered as “abominations” due to their unconventional heritage.

4. Though they dealt with this in the opposite way (nice anti parallel here!) with Spock repelling his human side while La’an made herself an expert on her Augment heritage.

5. Both struggle with their identity in regards to the duality of their nature - Spock with being a hybrid and La’an with being an Augment/Khan descendant (which will apparently get more delved into in S2).

6. They both come from considerably unconventional families and have experiences with foster care - Spock due to having had a foster sister and La’an due to having most likely been in foster care herself after being orphaned (I hope we’ll learn more about this in S2).

7. Both had an older sibling which was very important to them and who they lost in a very traumatic way with the older siblings sacrificing themselves for their younger sibling.

8. Both have experienced a time when they have been “lost”/lost their way – Spock felt lost, torn between his Vulcan and human path, while La’an was both literally lost in space as well as emotionally lost after losing her family.

9. Both were “saved” from being lost by someone (Michael/Una) showing them a new path/helping them find their way back which ultimately led them to join Starfleet.

Work/Starfleet:

1. They both hold the same (or similar?) rank with both of them being Lieutenants and senior officers / bridge crew members on the Enterprise.

2. They’re usually sitting at their stations on opposite sides of the bridge, reflecting their roles of being opposites and representing “both sides of the equation”, often voicing contrary information/advice so that the Captain can make the best possible decision (very apparent in the pilot with their back and forth).

3. Both value being part of Starfleet very highly, calling it a “dream” with both of them feeling like they have finally found a place on the Enterprise where they belong and are accepted for who they are.

4. Both are very devoted to their duties (workaholics pretty much), expecting people to give their best and mostly follow rules and protocols very intently, but also know when to bend/break the rules.

5. Both are firm teachers, expecting full dedication, to take work seriously and to give nothing but the best, but they also give credit where credit’s due and encourage growth when they see the potential (as shown with Uhura).

6. They both have a close mentor/ward-like relationship with one of their superior officers – Spock with Pike and La’an with Una.

7. Both have been Acting Number One in Una’s absence - La’an in the pilot/1x04 and Spock in the Illyrian Enigma comic.

8. Both are James Kirk’s first officer at one point - Spock in the prime timeline on the Enterprise (obviously) and La’an in the alternate future timeline on the Farragut (it was not explicitly stated in the episode, but there’s enough evidence to back this up).

9. Contrary to this, neither are fans of Sam Kirk (understandable!).

Personality:

10. They both share a lot of similarities in their personalities despite the differences at first glance - La’an is described as “direct, looking at outcomes, not emotion” which are also the most prominent traits of Spock (seriously, that description could be applied about Spock just the same!).

11. La’an’s attitude to not get emotional, her level of control over her feelings and her bluntness bear great resemblance to Spock’s Vulcan spirit of mind.

12. Still they are different in their views and approaches to not be copycats of each other, resulting in their tendency to bicker intensely with each other even across the bridge (which could be hinting at unresolved tension and may or may not be some sort of foreplay).

13. Both attach great importance to professionalism.

14. Both keep a cool head even under the most tense circumstances.

15. Both tend to hide their true feelings - Spock with his stoic logic and La'an with her aggression.

16. Both experienced intense grief over losing their sibling which still haunts them.

17. Both are capable of feeling intense rage.

18. Both needed psychological help at one point - Spock’s stay in the Starfleet psychiatry and La’an’s appointments with the Starfleet shrink.

19. They both possess a high capacity to control their emotional reactions and pain threshold.

20. Because of their rough childhood experiences, both are emotionally reserved, socially awkward and find dealing with people often “challenging”, keeping most people at a distance.

21. Neither are very fond of childish behavior mostly due to their childhood experiences – Spock doesn’t like hijinks and La’an’s no fan of Enterprise bingo.

22. Nevertheless when they do engage in “childish behavior”, they are both very dedicated and quite good at it.

23. Both get confused at Pike’s jokes and phrases.

24. Neither are the most fun though they both have a mischievous side as shown with Spock’s teasing with Chapel and with La’an teasing of Spock when he wore shorts.

25. Additionally, they both experienced a rare moment of fun/letting loose, both times encouraged by Una – Spock singing/laughing while being stuck with Una and La’an playing Enterprise bingo with Una - and notably both experiences included a turbolift.

26. Both are bad at pep talks, rather telling the truth instead of sugar coating it, but are willing to learn and acknowledge the importance of providing hope and lifting the crew’s spirit under dire circumstances.

27. They both are very tactically skilled and quick thinkers, coming up with a new plan very quickly when the situation requires it – like La’an faking fainting and Spock faking the affair with Chapel to deceive their opponents.

28. Because of these similar qualities, they have been shown to work very naturally and efficiently together, making them actually a very good team - like when they worked together to reanimate Sam Kirk.

29. They are both very skilled in physical combat and use similar techniques to fight in the most efficient way. They have been shown to use the same sequence of moves to beat opponents and it’s reasonable to assume that La’an is one of few people on the Enterprise matching Spock’s level of physique/strengths.

Physical aspects:

30. Both tend to use the same formal stance with their hands clasped behind their back, rarely standing at ease even if formality is not required.

31. They often sit or stand side by side during briefings.

32. They have also been shown moving in sync.

33. The colors of their uniforms are opposites, mirroring their complementary characters and relationship with each other.

34. They possess the perfect height difference (yes, this is very important to me!)

35. Both seem to prefer their uniform instead of casual clothes.

36. Both rock the rogue looks (DISCO Spock and S2 promo La’an, am I right?).

Story/character arcs:

37. Both get a “second chance” on the Enterprise to live up to their true potential after being through a rough time - Spock’s experience with the Red Angel, La’an’s experience with the Gorn.

38. La’an noticed Spock’s distress after fighting the Gorn, reminiscing of her own past confrontation and making her take over his role in the plan (Spock was the one supposed to join Hemmer).

39. All the visual parallels between Spock and La’an making the Gorn angry.

40. The epic mind meld and its importance of being the first mind meld shown on SNW (and La’an actually being the only crew member to be shown mind melting with Spock until the finale).

41. They both had important knowledge to save the day buried in their heads which was brought to light by telepathy – Spock’s memories of deciphering the signals of the Red Angel recovered with the help of the Talosians and La’an’s memories of figuring out the signals of the Gorn recovered with Spock’s help.

42. They both have been shown connecting with a “mini” version of themselve – Spock with the genius boy from Majalis and La’an with Orianna.

43. In the alternate future they both stepped into the footsteps of their mentors and taking on their place/fate – La’an being No.1 like Una (and even looking like her!) and Spock getting injured like Pike.

44. In the alternative future their character development is actually another anti parallel with both of them differentiating from their current selves – while La’an got more “human” (open and approaching), Spock got more “Vulcan” (distant and closed off).

Other important points:

45. They both have a signature greeting – for Spock it’s the Vulcan salute and for La’an the eye swap gesture seen in the pilot (I assume the gesture’s related to La’an since M’Benga only greeted her like that and no one else).

46. They both sang at one point (and I still hope for a karaoke duet!)

47. The mind meld (again) and its importance in the impact on both of them by creating an emotional connection and mutual understanding for each other's loss based on the shared memories and feelings (sadly not as explicitly shown and explored on the show as it should have so far).

48. La’an’s adamant refusal to let a shrink in her head only to let Spock enter her mind without thinking twice, showing how much she really trusts him.

49. The huge visual differences between how the mind meld between Spock/La’an and the one between Spock/Pike were displayed – the meld of Spock/La’an appearing very intimate/ emotional (and arguably even a tint romantic) while the one with Pike’s clinic like a tool (also interesting that Spock used a different hand to perform the melds).

50. Spock literally going down on one knee for La’an during the mind meld (which honestly gave me more goosebumps and feels than all his kissing scenes combined!)

51. Their very flushed and sweaty state afterwards! (really, there was no reason for them to look that sweaty even with the experience being very intense!)

52. La’an being one of few people knowing about Micheal and even more, she’s probably the only who knows the true extent of his grief (not stated on the show, but I think he hides this from T’Pring because it’s too emotional/illogical).

53. Their similar deep gratitude for the Captain and the way they both called him “Chris” once while thanking him.

54. They both have been shown sharing a lot of looks and sometimes even sneaking glances at each other which could indicate some level of underlying attraction (grasping at straws? I don’t care, they shouldn’t look at each other like that if they don’t want me to get ideas!)

55. The way La’an checked Spock out and teased him when he wore shorts (and him waiting for her to check him out when he wore that apron. That was what happened, right?).

56. La’an’s adorable annoyance of Spock’s tendency to use too many too complicated words.

57. Their hilarious ways of eating (nom!)

58. Their unusual attachment to pets - Spock with his old Sehlat and La’an/Thalia with Runa (I firmly believe Thalia had the puppy due to La’an being secretly very fond of cute little animals despite her pretending she doesn’t like them).

In conclusion: I just love them, your honor!

#star trek: strange new worlds #star trek snw #la'an x spock #spock x la'an #la'an noonien singh #spock #spocklaanparts

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cheer-deforest-kelley · 4 years ago

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This is the amazing day I met DeForest Kelley on the set of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

My boss was friends with a woman who worked on a few of the Star Trek movies. He introduced us and told her of my love for DeForest and she invited me to the set when De was filming.

I could not take photos as it was a closed set, but it didn’t matter as everything I saw was burned into my soul.

In late December 1988, I drove through the gates of Paramount Studios and parked right by the Star Trek Production trailer (Trailer 12). My head spun as I walked inside and was surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the making of a Star Trek movie. While sitting in my friend’s office, a voice on the walkie-talkie said that Bill and De were in their dressing rooms. My head exploded.

My friend walked me to the stage that was the Enterprise bridge and I got to sit in Captain Kirk’s chair (my feet didn’t touch the ground—literally and figuratively). I saw Director’s chairs with the names William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and DeForest Kelley embroidered on the backs. I would have loved to sit in De’s chair, but all I could do was touch the arm as we walked by.

The Stage Manager told us that Bill was on the New York street set, so we left the stage and walked to an outside set with a high stage. When we arrived, Bill was being strapped into a harness (which fit around his torso, waist and crotch and which would allow him to be lifted into the air). His legs were bare and very white (he was wearing gym shorts). He was making jokes and talking in a very high pitched voice as they tightened the straps around his nether region.

I forgot all about Bill when I heard a voice on a walkie-talkie say that De was stepping out of his trailer and would arrive in a moment. My heart started pounding and I started feeling very warm (it was 49 degrees outside— which by the way, is considered freezing for Southern California). I turned around and saw DeForest Kelley ambling towards me. He was wearing dark blue jeans, a dark green sweatshirt, a light blue jean jacket with a fleece collar, black cowboy boots and a multicolored scarf around his neck.

Tears welled up in my eyes. De said hello to a few people, hugged my friend and she then walked him over to me. She told him my name and said where I worked. De shook my hand for a very long time (eventually just holding my hand rather than shaking it) and called me a spy because I worked at different studio than Paramount. He commented on how cold it was and lifted his sweatshirt up to his chin to show us a fleece-lined shirt that a fan from Seattle made him. He was very charming and chatty; I said a few sentences but was mostly mute (just call me Gem).

After a few minutes, he said it was great to meet me, shook my hand again and went to talk to Bill (who was now wearing sweatpants with yellow stripes and a blue uniform tunic that was unlike their usual uniforms). They talked for a while, laughed a lot and then hugged goodbye. Bill (being the Director) had to leave to watch a previously filmed scene— he was driven away. Suddenly all the commotion on the set just stopped and much of the crew left, however De stayed.

He came over to talk to us again (OMG!!) and said “It’s always hurry up and wait.” I responded “That’s showbiz.” He laughed (thank God) and said “That’s right, you know it!” I found my voice this time when he asked about my job. We talked for at least 10 minutes— discussing the cold weather again, his being a little sad that production on the film was almost done (You’re sad De? Let me hug and console you.) and what we were respectively doing for New Year’s Eve. For De, it was was “Absolutely nothing except kiss my wife before midnight since we don’t stay up that late.”

A man holding a humungous binder came over and said he needed De. De said “Bye now” and left (sob!!). Of course I kept my eyes glued on him. After he conversed with the binder guy, he talked to some crew members, but when they left, he stood alone for about 5 minutes, during which he smoked two cigarettes (he had a very nice lighter). He looked around and found a random Director’s chair and plunked down in it (he first pounded the chair with his fist, to make sure it was sturdy-- it was an old looking chair).

Bill was gone for over an hour (lucky me). I was free to wander around the set, but I mostly stayed close and kept an eye on De; he talked to the crew, left once (potty break?), read a magazine and smoked-- sad to say he constantly smoked. He once looked over at me and gave me a big smile.

When Bill returned, they were ready to film the scene when Kirk falls from Yosemite’s El Capitan and McCoy berates him. There was a publicity photographer taking pictures of everything, including this scene (which happened to be printed in a magazine and is my first picture posted here).

The Assistant Director called for De, who stood up and unbuttoned his jacket. A woman appeared and De closed his eyes as she touched up his make-up and combed his hair (I wanted to comb his soft hair). Two big burly men then lifted De (by his outstretched arms and butt) onto the elevated stage; they lifted him so high and hard, he literally flew into the air before landing on the stage on one foot-- he caught his balance and then turned back to them laughing with his eyes wide. They both laughed nervously and said “Sorry De.” He told them they were very strong.

On the stage was the bottom part of El Capitan made out of fiberglass. At the time, not knowing anything about the story, it just looked like a huge rock surrounded by dirt, boulders and trees. There were screens surrounding the stage that looked like blue sky with clouds.

They connected wires to Bill’s body harness. He was lifted just off the ground and then quickly hung upside down where he swung around loosely. De came over and bent down with his face very close to the upside down Bill and they spoke quietly between themselves; De then stepped back and Bill called “Action!” Kirk said “Hi Bones, mind if we drop in for dinner?” and laughed like he was a little drunk. De took a step forward, bent down and McCoy started yelling at the slightly twirling Kirk. Kirk patted McCoy’s ears and squeezed his cheeks, laughing and making little noises. They quickly filmed the scene twice. The first time went fine, but the second time, they both began laughing and De said to the upside down Bill, “Kiss me.” They quickly kissed on the lips (I know, I know!!) and the entire crew cracked up. Bill called “Cut!” and someone else yelled “Lunch—45 minutes.” De said goodbye to the crew, got into a car, lit a cigarette and was driven away.

I had to get back to work. I walked (floated actually) to my car and drove out of the studio gate, ecstatic that one of my wildest dreams had come true.

A month later, my friend gave me my very own Final Frontier cast & crew jacket (similar to the one McCoy wore in the campfire scene), a photo of the cast & crew (Leonard’s and De’s smiles are absolutely adorable), some Star Trek notecards and a cast publicity photo.

Sorry this is so long. It’s taken from a note I typed up when I got back the the office that day. I didn’t want to forget a thing.

#deforest kelley #dr. mccoy #star trek #captain kirk #william shatner #Star Trek movie #star trek v: the final frontier #behind the scenes #watching Star Trek being filmed #de in person #I have DeForest Kelley’s DNA on me #bucket list item checked off

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worfs-fabulous-hair · 3 years ago

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It's time for the famed episodes I've heard alot about and to meet my favorite boy!

Series I'm currently on : the original series

Episodes watched: 02X01-02X02

Episode names:

Amok Time

Who Mourns for Adonais

Thoughts:

Amok Time

Ok so right off the bat they get into the fact that Spock's been acting strange , not eating , ect.

Chapel coming in with the plumeek soup ( please I don't know how to spell it it's a made up soup )

I wonder who had to throw that soup across the hall seems fun

Also it's kinda brushed over they Spock threatened to snap bones' neck and McCoy seems very amused by this threat

Screams at you like it's a violent threat (and by all means might be ) " I'M NOT FEELING WELL AND I WANT TO GO HOME"

Slightly new intro , this is the intro that I'm used to from childhood

He's not even getting reprimanded for being violent towards chapel he's just like " you never take a break , that's how I know something is wrong " , really Jim that's how you know something is wrong ?

Also the comment about how a woman shouldn't bring a man who isn't her husband lunch and that is inherently sexual somehow is just brushed over like it's nothing the 60s were wild

Why does he start shaking so bad the second that Jim leaves ?

CHEKOV !!!!

also the event that they were supposed to go to and took a detour from is now a week earlier then before

They decided to not detour to Vulcan

Spock changed the course back to Vulcan

Spock is yelling at Kirk to lock him in his room

Spock's getting a physical

Jim's gonna get the pon farr talk

" Spock's not gonna tell anyone what's going on not even you" " I'll make him tell me "

" the birds and the bees are not vulcans captain "

" haven't you wondered , how vulcans choose their mates ?" Jim looks so much like he's trying hide excitement and curiosity at that , like shatner played this man to be so gay

These little tidbits between Sulu and Chekov about the course constantly being changed is so cute

Kirk is really risking everything to keep Spock alive

Chapel's happy little smile when Kirk says they're going to Vulcan

" your face is wet"

Spock is flirting with chapel

Spock asking Kirk and McCoy to be his best men at his wedding

T'PRING

Imagine working with this guy for like years you consider him a close friend and then one day there is like video call in the middle of the conference and this woman comes on the screen and says hey to the guy and you ask him who that was and he just goes "my wife " like you should know that already but he's never once told you he has a wife like this shit is so wild

Marriage or battle to the death

All of those fucking bells

I love Vulcan wedding fashion all of the metallic clothing

T'pao talks like and looks like my grandma

Damn imagine showing up to a wedding and the bride rejects the groom before it starts and tells him he has to fight someone to the death or he'll die

Spock sounds like an edgy teenager while he's saying that Kirk doesn't know what he is getting into

Why is stonn always making that face it makes him look so stupid

Weapons wrapped in purple velvet

" oh so no one was gonna tell me this was a fight to the death ?? Until I already accepted that bullshit "

Oof the way he fell on his arm I know that's gotta hurt

Pulled that medicine out of now where

Kirk being handed different weapons and having the face of what the fuck is this , what is this for ?? Is the best

Kirk's dead

" tell Chekov to find the nearest prison so I can turn myself in "

Man t'pring is kind of a bitch

" I shall do neither "

Jim's alive

Look at that smile

And then he immediately pretends like he's not happy and excited

Ay ! T'pao coming through with helping the enterprise crew from being reprimanded by star fleet for going to Vulcan

" I don't know what your talking about I didn't have an emotional reaction when I thought I'd killed the captain not at all "

Who Mourns for Adonais?

Scotty's got a crush

Hey it's crazy hand and master hand

The giant hand has grabbed the enterprise

Does the hand belong to a giant phantom space baby ?

What's the name of that movie where they all have the flower crowns ?? Is it midsommer?

This floating head entity looks like he's from that

He's gonna crush the ship because they wouldn't listen to his bible reading

" you and your officers are invited but not the one with the pointy ears he looks like this one guy that I used to know who was sooo boring "

Man this lady hasn't slept in over 24 hours and they brought her along for this shit , I'd be so peeved off

" I am Apollo " " and everyone in Russia thinks I'm incredibly attractive , yeah sure bud"

" Chekov please not right now "

"earth women mmmmm"

Just , just this :

He's also not letting them leave because he wants to be worshipped

Apollo is doing some Cheshire cat shit

He's also basically throwing a temper tantrum

Chekov and Scotty are ready to shoot a bitch but can't

Damn Scotty just got back handed so hard he was sent flying

Apollo kidnapped Caroline

Wait how do they know that he's Apollo on the ship he only said so to the landing party after they got there

So according to this dude all of the gods left the planet rather through death or in search of new worshippers

" Spock's contaminating this boy jim "

Apollo shocked Scotty with lightning and is force choking Kirk

" like that cat in the Russian story "

"We're gonna sacrifice one of us so the just of us can jump on the off handed chance he doesn't disappear "

The plan has failed because Caroline jumped between them and basically did what those high school couples do when the boy gets into a fight and then the girl jumps in the middle and holds his face going " this isn't you babe , you don't need to do this , look at me babe I'm all you need "

" how old are you ? " " I'm 22 sir" " then I'll handle it by myself "

Like what does that have to do with anything

At this point the lieutenant probably thinks this is all a dream she hasn't slept in over 24 hours and hasn't had any coffee either

" your a human you need to help out your fellow human "

Why do they keep having the women of the ship falling in love with a very obviously terrible person they have known for only a few hours

" Tell me more about yourself " " what more is there to tell I am Apollo " " yeah but like tell me about your childhood , your hobbies there's got to be more to you then just what your name is " " but ... I'm Apollo??"

" I've been studying you this entire time , your nothing more then a test subject" lmao get wrecked

They destroyed his shit and now he's real mad

He became so depressed from rejection that he died

I like how gods just exist in star trek like that's just a thing

#also all of the commercial breaks during amok time had some sort of sex or penis commercial in there #like trojan and erectile disfuncution and so on its pretty funny #i kept getting amazon prime commercials for who mourns for Adonais #also excuse my excitement chekov and sulu have always been my favorites and i didn't realize that chekov didn't show uo until season 2 #star trek #star trek tos #spock #star trek the original series #jim kirk #montgomery scott #nyota uhura #hikaru sulu #lenard mccoy #nurse chapel #christine chapel #pavel chekov #strange new worlds makes me wonder how they are gonna make it to where t'pring leaves spock like what did he do #t'pring #how do you spell these people's names someone please help

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daraoakwise · 3 years ago

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We love Uhura! Star Trek rewatch, continuing with 2x15, The Trouble with Tribbles. This one is always on top best episodes lists, and has some delightful Uhura scenes.

Uhura appears in the opening scene on the viewscreen, interrupting a briefing to report that she has just picked up a Priority One distress call from Space Station K7. This is the highest distress signal, and given the proximity to Klingon space, they can only assume an attack. The Captain grimly orders her to take the ship to warp 7, and Uhura calls the ship to red alert.

She’s on the bridge as they come within range of the station, everyone tense, assuming they are about to be in a battle. Again, the events of Star Trek: Discovery give us insight. There was a war, not long ago, and a lot of people died. And now they are rushing in, weapons at the ready. When they arrive, though, all seems peaceful. Kirk has Uhura break subspace silence. The sheepish station commander apologizes and asks the irritated Kirk to beam over: it turns out that that the Asshole of the Week Federation Undersecretary in Charge of Agricultural Affairs (or FUC-AA, which amuses me) has called in the ship to guard new genetically engineered wheat seeds, suspecting Klingon sabotage. Kirk reacts about how you would think. He calls Uhura to secure from general quarters and tells her to send over two guards, and authorizes shore leave for the crew.

Uhura gets shore leave! Hooray! She beams over in the first wave, which the Captain teases her about. “And how often do I get shore leave??” she asks him archly. Oooh!! She wants to shop. Chekov is there to “help.” (Anyone else get the impression that he’s hoping for a date?? Sorry Pavel, she is way out of your league.) Kirk pours some of the wheat seeds into their hands, which they look at with scientific interest. Uhura and Chekov walk over to the bar where a bumbling con man is trying to sell his wares. He doesn’t have any success until he pulls a fuzz ball out of his pocket—a tribble. Uhura is immediately charmed and wants to hold it. She declares it adorable. No, Uhura, you are adorable! Seriously this is a completely delightful scene. The bumbling con man gives it to her for free, because everyone (rightly) loves Uhura. It eats some of the wheat that Chekov had been carrying around.

The timing on the next scene is weird. Uhura calls Kirk and Spock, who are in the briefing room; message from Starfleet. Wasn’t she on shoreleave?? Maybe it’s the next day, idk. We’ll go with that. A few minutes later she calls Kirk again — a Klingon warship as arrived, she reports urgently. She’s on the Bridge when Kirk and Spock arrive, and puts through a call from the Station commander. She cancels red alert when he learns the Klingons are not wanting a battle but shore leave.

We next see Uhura in the rec room on the Enterprise. She is surrounded by a big group of crew, and a bunch of tribbles. Her tribble has had babies. Everyone is enjoying stroking and holding them. Once again Uhura is a center of life on the ship, someone who knows everyone and loves to be with them. (As opposed to, say, Scotty, sitting in the corner reading technical journals.) The Captain asks, a little irritated,where she got them. Spock discusses their soothing effect, stroking one lovingly while claiming to be unaffected. We all know better, especially Uhura, who turns to give him this fantastic look when he claims to be immune. She gives the tribbles away to her friends. She is just so lovely in this scene, with her warm friendship and wonderful smile.

She’s on the bridge a few scenes later, with the tribbles spreading. Kirk asks her how they got all over the bridge; she doesn’t know, she answers ruefully. Spock notes that they are consuming supplies while giving nothing. She disagrees, they give love! Even too much love in bad, the Captain says, and loads her up with an armful of them and instructions to get the tribbles off the bridge. It’s a hilarious scene, with her “aye-sirring” with an armload of tribbles and her stylus between her teeth.

That’s the last of her in this delightful episode, other than laughing along on the bridge when Scott explains how he beamed to tribbles to the Klingon ship.

#star trek #nyota uhura #uhura #star trek original series #uhura rewatch #the trouble with tribbles

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lonesomedreamer · 1 year ago

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SNW Liveblog: “Charades”

In which Ethan Peck gets to have some fun, the writers also prove they know nothing about Vulcans, and the last fifteen minutes redeems the whole episode.

What exactly is “sub-impulse speed”?

God dammit.

The fellowship only lasts for two months? What’s even the point?

I hate to complain about a female character working out on-screen—life in space would definitely necessitate some kind of exercise regime! For everyone!—but at what point in her TOS appearances did Christine Chapel strike these writers as the type of girl who spent a lot of time beating on the Enterprise’s punching bag? Maybe if we hadn’t just seen La’an in this exact same scene two episodes ago…

This…this outfit is almost mod! Earrings and all! I’m shocked. Give it some color and you’d be onto something.

In fact, all three girls (La’an, Christine, and Ortegas) are wearing black here. Why do SNW the costume designers HATE fun?

“Oh, things are kind of weird between them.” I don’t use this word lightly, but between her being mean to Spock for no reason last week and now casually betraying her friend’s confidence like this with a little smirk (while Christine is visibly uncomfortable): Ortegas is just a bitch.

Do Vulcans consider their emotions to be “suppressed”? And would M’Benga, Vulcan expert or not, really be able to teach the native Vulcan how to better control his emotions (when he’s been learning that his whole life)??? Do they ever think before writing, or…?

Or: canon only matters when the SNW writers want it to.

“My mother felt this would be best.” A lot of Vulcans on this show throw that verb around awfully lightly. It’s almost like the writers don’t understand Vulcans.

If T’Pring’s mother doesn’t approve, why were they ever engaged in the first place? (I know that this show’s never going to acknowledge that they were betrothed as kids for an arranged marriage. But that’s the canon.)

Bitch, please.

A sweet reversal of her sneaking a glance at him in the Turbolift earlier.

Them.

Spock, please don’t look at your girlfriend when you’re supposed to be steering the shuttle away from the “rupture in space-time”.

Oh, his hair is so much better this way.

Why is everyone calling Uhura “Nyota” all of a sudden? I get that she’s just an ensign, but it’s weird.

This sounds like a casual phone call rather than the first contact between the Federation and an unknown species. Up the professionalism a few notches, Pike.

He does not.

“Mixed instructions? You don’t mean Spock.” I’m no scientist, but it’s obvious they’re talking about his DNA—keep up, Mr. Starship Captain!

“Uhura, get ‘em back.” Maybe if Pike hadn’t stumbled over his words and had gotten straight to the damn point, this wouldn’t be a problem! Kirk and Picard would both have said, “Excuse me, but the way you ‘fixed’ my science officer was not correct” rather than mumbling and stuttering until the call cut off.

He is adorable. You can pry human!Ethan!Spock out of my cold, dead hands.

“My fiancee’s mother? She hates me.” My fiancee? She hates me. Fixed that for you!

“I’ve already spoken to T’Pring and to your family.” That is really crossing a line! Kirk—Spock’s undisputed best friend of all time/brother/soulmate/true love (however you see them)—didn’t know about T’Pring or even that the Vulcan ambassador and his wife who were coming aboard were Spock’s parents until he met them on the Enterprise. But Pike is just casually contacting Sarek, Amanda, and T’Pring without consulting Spock first?! It’s not like he’s in a coma! He could easily have waited and let Spock tell his family himself. Accidents happen in Starfleet all the time. It’s a dangerous job.

Spock always seems to be played by men with the best smiles. ♥

Not Spock drinking alcohol and eating meat! He’s going to feel awful about that when his genetic code is “fixed”! (His dietary habits are cultural, not biological—why would he want to change them with or without his Vulcan DNA?)

If this was a TOS episode, Bridge crew would still be working on getting back in touch with the aliens who did this to Spock…but we have to show Spock enjoying some crispy bacon instead.

Again, I think control is a better choice of words.

“You just need to work on impulse control.” I don’t think taking his Vulcan DNA away would invalidate/negate his years of intensive mental training. He had to work extra hard as a mixed-race child to be a “real” Vulcan, so in theory he should still have access to about emotional control. If not, he should have been stripped of his memories of childhood and whatnot, too.

Spock’s sass is coming out so strongly in this script, which is great, but he should always be sassy! (“Gentlemen, I am in command of this vessel, and we shall continue on our present course…unless it is your intention to declare a mutiny.”)

I’m sure Christine enjoys seeing a more demonstrative version of the man she loves, BUT I hope they also show that she’s mourning the loss of the true Spock. She’s one of the few who really sees him for what he is—half Vulcan, half human, wholly himself.

To culminate his total lack of respect for Spock’s privacy/boundaries, Pike announces that his mom is on board in the middle of a busy hallway.

This Amanda is a babe (though there’s no way she’s old enough to be Ethan Peck’s mom).

I love this nod to the classic “Spock wearing a funny hat to hide his ears” trope.

Could they not get a costume to fit this actress? Not shaming her at all—I’m intimately familiar with the struggle of finding clothes that look flattering with a larger chest! But this ain’t it.

Why is Pike even still here? At this point, Amanda’s business is with her son. Pike can butt out.

“The engagement dinner has been moved several times due to your Starfleet schedule, a fact which they are not understanding about—” A few issues here: a) It seems, well, illogical that a family of Vulcans refuses to understand why Spock’s professional schedule would postpone personal obligations; b) this is the first time we’ve ever heard about this engagement dinner, 15 episodes into the season. That wouldn’t be an issue if (as in TOS) T’Pring had just been introduced—but she’s now been in numerous episodes including the pilot. Yet somehow this has never come up before?

Also, bold of this show to expect me to care that their engagement might get broken when they’ve already faked the audience out about that once and when I know T’Pring’s ultimately going to dump Spock anyway…

Incompetence.

So T’Pring’s family disapproves of Spock’s career (and we know from previous episodes that T’Pring isn’t thrilled about it, either), but they agree to hold this traditional and (apparently) super-important engagement dinner on the starship where Spock works?

I don’t think “Spock, you’re human” would be a human mother’s natural first reaction here. Idk. I know Amanda’s been on Vulcan a long time, but we know she’s still very warm, very human, and seeing her son so changed would have to be shocking/upsetting/concerning, right?

“I couldn’t even fool you.” That’s kind of funny.

First of all: Spock can lie with the best of them. Secondly, I don’t think you can learn to be a genuinely good liar in a few hours. Finally (and again): his years of Vulcan discipline/training shouldn’t have been erased (he obviously still has all his memories and knowledge), so he shouldn’t have to lie at all.

Seriously, Spock doesn’t have amnesia! He was raised by Vulcans—he knows how they speak!!!

Okay, but…Spock can’t perform the mind meld, and Amanda would know that. I feel like she should be saying, “My son was in a serious accident and is in no state to socialize” but then someone else—maybe even Sarek—overrules her. That would still leaves plenty of room for drama.

Just contact the aliens for help! I’m begging you! This is Star Trek!!!

“We can’t do it, but we already know who can” Thank God someone on this show can keep up.

I kind of hate her. :) At least she didn’t make a snarky comment, too.

I am weak (even if this is the least-flattering Vulcan look I have ever seen on any version of Spock).

T’Pring has some funny lines re: her difficult relationship with her mother, and I guess it’s a nice parallel to Spock’s difficult relationship with Sarek. I can sympathize with her, but I refuse to like her.

There’s no way a conservative Vulcan couple would be satisfied with a human preparing the traditional food for their daughter’s engagement dinner.

The majority of Vulcans in this show continue to look like a parody.

T’Pring’s dad being a foodie is funny. Him being obviously subservient to his scary bully of a wife is unoriginal and not so funny.

They stole a shuttlecraft and no one even alerts the captain?

Christine being willing to do anything for Spock: canon in every universe. ♥

I get that they’re in “interdimensional space” and in a state of semi-shock as a result (understandably!), but why can no one communicate effectively in this episode, including Uhura of all people???

Christine’s straight-talk with the aliens is just making me angry that Pike didn’t speak up about their mistake when he was communicating with them earlier.

She’s stunning.

Spock being protective of/afraid for Christine is precious.

“During the accident, the other being diverted the shields away from himself to protect you.” Even though I’m unsure how that would work (isn’t the shield around the entire shuttlecraft?)—that is SO Spock and so adorable.

“Are you so obtuse that you don’t even see that [you have feelings for Spock]?” It’s always one step forward, three steps back with Ortegas…

The writers were kind enough to grant my wish: Christine acknowledges that a wholly human Spock isn’t really Spock at all. The writing is less than phenomenal, but Jess Bush really sells it anyway, and it alludes nicely to Christine’s heartfelt confession of love in “The Naked Time” about seeing Spock as being greater than the sum of his genetic parts.

I’m tearing up.

The scene where Spock tells T’Pring’s mother off and praises his own isn’t super believable/in-character, but it’s satisfying!

Once again: the Vulcans on this show use that word way too much…

They really have wanted T’Pring to always be the victim/wronged party in this relationship ever since the first episode. But why?! She’s going to leave him! In canon, she makes him fight his own best friend to the death to have her when she doesn’t even want him! No matter how they resolve the relationship in this show, it’s all drama I don’t care about!!!

T’Pring’s mother was overtly racist towards Amanda and Spock during the entire dinner; she doesn’t approve of him; and she told him that he deserved to be disowned by Sarek/didn’t deserve to marry T’Pring. She would probably continue behaving that way towards him for the rest of her life. But after he endured all of that for her sake and after she repeatedly warned him not to mess the dinner up, T’Pring expresses neither concern for Spock’s ordeal nor relief that he’s been healed/that the dinner was a success nor gratitude for what he put himself through. She expresses only disappointment that he didn’t confide in her.

Crying in the club.

There’s a lovely reciprocity to Spock and Christine’s dynamic so far—he kissed her in Season One; this time, she kisses him. He risked his life to save her earlier; then she goes back and risks hers to make him whole again. I know these writers are going to screw it up eventually, so I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

Overall, this episode was way too long (a full hour!) and was bogged down with a bunch of nonsense in the middle in the name of comedy. Its dialogue in particular was just as poorly-written as most SNW scripts have been (i.e., “you look constipated,” “you messed him up,” numerous crew members mumbling and stuttering in the heat of the moment…these aren’t Starfleet professionals, they’re high schoolers!) BUT there was an extra helping of heart in this episode. Between Amanda Grayson’s tenderness towards her son, Spock’s protectiveness towards Christine, and Christine’s fierce loyalty towards Spock, I almost cried more than once. And since Spock/Christine is THE reason I started watching this show in the first place, it’s nice to finally see some payoff fifteen episodes in!

The Good: Ethan’s face without Vulcan make-up + his gorgeous smile!—a surprise Amanda cameo—Spock and Christine mutually being protective of each other/risking their lives for each other—some funny moments—Jess and Ethan both acting their socks off—really cool visuals during the “interdimensional space” scene—a few excellent costume designs—finally, the big kiss!

The Bad: Childish/unprofessional dialogue throughout—Ortegas being a bitch even to her friends—writing human!Spock like a teenager who forgot everything he knows about being Vulcan (even though his memories are in tact)—Pike’s total incompetence—name-dropping Roger Korby (ugh)

I can’t wait to see how this show is going to disappointment me in the Spockstine department going forward.

#luth liveblogs snw

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lenievi · 2 years ago

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SNW #3 (rewatch)

- I love Una so much~ I forgot lol

- it’s still so weird to think about Khan as “Captain America” and not a product of selective breeding...

- hm, did they change La'an Noonien Singh to just La’an Noonien (like they literally changed her introduction in the recap) or is it just because it’s shorter...(or to make the crew more comfortable?) Chapel calls her just Lieutenant Noonien

- it’s probably just because it’s different times, but Pike and Spock’s relationship is portrayed and feels so much more like them being friends; it almost doesn’t feel like a professional relationship at all. I guess it was actually Kirk’s fault that the one between Kirk and Spock maintained the professionalism throughout (Don’t grieve, Admiral.)

- I dislike that SNW made the Enterprise into a flagship. Under Kirk, it was just a ship. (the same way as Kirk and the rest were just people doing their job. It just happened to be a job in space lol) Like, it wasn’t more important than the Lexington or the Potemkin or whatever - this is something that’s actually hard to reconcile, unless it’s just Pike’s influence (because he’s Captain the best of Starfleet, we gotta protect him from war Pike) and when Kirk gets the ship, the ship loses its status.

- ohhh, I guess Una didn’t get a chance to meet Rukiya, did she? I can’t remember...

- hmm, so, the AU in the finale was an AU where Una was never saved after she was arrested. So does it mean that Pike never fought for her? Didn’t fight hard enough? And his trip to the alternate future will change that now? Who knows... I just hope the resolution won’t be too easy since in the AU, Una stayed imprisoned and you’d assume that Pike would do everything in his powers to get her back...

- I hope s2 will give me more La’an and Una’s scenes

- for now, this is my favourite episode (until I rewatch Amok Spock lol but who knows, maybe I’ll feel differently)

#snw nonsense

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nurse-buckley · 4 years ago

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I’m Fine

Fandom: Star Trek Word Count: 1,515 Pairing: Leonard McCoy x Reader Warnings: Minor mentions of death. Mentions of blood and injury. Tagslist: @firemedicdiaz @fireladybuckley @pupandangelscoffee @winterreader-nowwriter @iamasimpingh0e @dayrin085 @evanbuckos @gigglyparker Thank you to my amazing beta @evanbuckos Request from @moose-on-the-l00se I am so sorry it took so long my love. You are on an away mission and as ever and much to Leonard’s dismay, you always put others before yourself.

You’d decided to go on the away mission as the crew’s medic instead of Leonard. He’d been apprehensive at first, but you both knew he had charting to catch up on and the last of a few yearly medicals he had to get through. Putting them off any longer would only put him further behind.

You weren’t expecting to end up being one of the casualties yourself, as an explosion knocked you off of your feet, sending you and your crew flying backwards against the blast. You were briefly knocked unconscious, your ears rang as you came back to your senses. You felt a pounding sensation in your head, you reached up, hissing as your palm was met with blood that dripped from the wound that had appeared there.

You lay still for a moment; you moved each limb one at a time, checking yourself for injury. Happy that your limbs were all intact, you sat up slowly, but were stopped by a sudden shooting pain that radiated from your side. You looked down to see a piece of shrapnel that protruded from your side.

Another crew member rushed to your side, but stopped short when they saw the metal sticking out from you. Their hands shook as they hovered over your wounded side as they looked at you for confirmation on what to do.

“Go into my kit, grab a pack of gauze and the medical tape,” you ordered them.

They did as you said, placing the items you had requested beside you. Their eyes widened in shock as you gripped your hand tightly around the shrapnel and pulled with a cry of pain. You took the gauze from the other crew member and secured it tightly to your side with a few pieces of tape.

Leonard was finishing up with an ensign’s medical when a siren blared through the medbay, followed by the captain’s voice over the ship's intercom. “Prepare for incoming trauma. Number of casualties unknown. Doctor McCoy, report to the transporter deck.”

The doctor’s blood ran cold at the transmission. He knew something had gone wrong with the mission you’d attended. Leonard turned to his nurse in charge, Christine, ordering her to discharge any non-critical patients and clear any non-emergent surgeries planned for the day. Leonard grabbed a trauma bag, and headed to the transporter room for further orders from his captain.

He met the captain in the transporter room, who immediately began to run him down on the situation. The away mission had been a trap, what was supposed to be peace talks, turning into something quite the opposite. An explosion had been set off, causing mass casualties. Leonard’s blood ran cold at Kirk’s brief, his blood running cold at the thought of you being one of the injured, or worse; one of the many he knew he wouldn’t be able to save today.

Pushing back the fears running through his mind, Leonard made his way onto the transporter deck. With one last ‘good luck’ from the captain, him and a few other crew members; various medics and members of security were encircled with golden swirls as they materialised down to the planet below.

When the group arrived, they were met with chaos. Screams of agony and distress could be heard from every direction. Crew members with various degrees of injury, some more serious than others. Leonard, however, was only focussed on one thing in that moment; finding you. His eyes scanned the unmoving bodies on the floor. Finally, he heard your voice; loud and commanding. He saw you, bloodied wound on your head, in the middle of treating a civilian.

The doctor had to stop himself from running to your side. He had his own mission, and patients to tend to. You were alive, and breathing; and for now, that had to be enough for him. He’d tend to you when you were back on the ship, safe and sound in your shared quarters. With that, he busied himself, triaging patients. Labelling those he couldn’t save with a black tag and using the traffic light system to tag those more serious to the walking wounded.

You found yourself back to back with him at various points as your paths crossed while treating the wounded crew members and civilians.

“You okay, darlin’?” he asked from your side.

You nod, “I’m good.” You know that was a lie, but there were still casualties to see to.

It took another hour and a half for you, Leonard and the other crew members to triage and transport people back to the enterprise. The trauma beds quickly filled up and the surgery list doubled to what it was earlier that morning.

Leonard took you aside as soon as you were back on the enterprise. Setting you on a spare chair, you protest against him, trying to get up from the seat, knowing you were needed elsewhere. But he pushed you back down with a gentle hand to your shoulder.

“I’m fine Leonard, really,” you insisted.

“I know you are darlin’, humour me though.” He gave you a look, knowing arguing would be futile.

He gathered a few supplies from a cart nearby, tearing open a pack of gauze and vial of saline to clean the wound on your forehead. He gently cleaned the wound, wincing every time you hissed as if the action were hurting himself, not wanting to see you in pain, let alone being the one to cause it. Once satisfied you didn’t need sutures, he taped a piece of gauze to the wound and placed a gentle kiss atop of the bandage. You pushed him away with a smile, loving how soft he was with you but also knowing that you really did have to get back to work.

You could feel yourself growing weaker throughout the shift, the adrenaline had slowly been wearing off as the patients you were seeing were either discharged or admitted for a longer stay or surgery.

Unbeknownst to you, Leonard had been watching you closely, not being happy with your condition earlier but knowing he wouldn’t have been able to stop you from helping the others. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn’t handle the onslaught of patients without another doctor with him.

You saw him from the corner of your eye as he made his way towards you. He placed gentle hands around the tops of your arms, pulling you aside as he excused you from the patient you were currently dealing with, handing them over to a nurse. He held you at arms length, taking in your slightly pale appearance, noticing the light sheen of sweat that formed over your brow.

“You sure you’re feeling okay darlin’, I really would prefer it if you let me check you over.”

“I’m fine Leonard, nothing a good shower, dinner and rest won’t cure when we get out of here.”

He made a non-commital noise, trusting you that if something were wrong you’d tell him. He pulled you in for a hug, not missing how your body stiffened against him. He held you at arms length, his eyebrow quirking up in that inquisitive look of his you loved so much. It’s then he noticed the small stain of blood, seeping through the blue of your uniform.

“You’re bleeding,” he stated.

You placed a hand to your side, sucking in a breath through gritted teeth as pain flared through your side. As you pulled your hand away, you noticed your palm covered in the slick wet blood that had seemingly seeped through the dressing you’d placed earlier, as well as the fabric of your tunic.

“Oh…” is all you managed before you felt the energy drain from your body and fell into Leonards solid body, comforting and warm as he gently lowered you to the ground. You vaguely heard the commotion around you as Leonard called for a gurney and felt yourself being lifted before the comforting darkness invited you into its embrace.

When you came to, the pain you were feeling before was gone, replaced by a numb and tingly feeling where the wound had been before. You felt the warmth of someone else's hand in your own holding on tight, as if they let go, you’d disappear. Opening your eyes, you were met with Leonard’s concerned gaze, his eyes locked on your face.

“How’re you feeling?”

“A little sore and tired, but I’m-”

“If you say ‘I’m fine’ one more time, I swear,” he chuckled, but the smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. “How many times do I need to remind you that you need to look after yourself if you want to look after others,” he sighed.

You settled deeper into the pillow, the drugs Leonard had given you keeping you pain free and sleepy. “I’m sorry,” you sighed.

Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, not covered by a bandage. “What am I going to do with you?” He asked, as you fought sleep. “Doesn’t matter, rest now. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

#star trek #star trek aos #star trek tos #leonard mccoy x reader #bones x reader #leonard mccoy #bones #dr mccoy #doctor mccoy #star trek fanfic #star trek fanfiction #mine

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440mxs-wife · 4 years ago

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Coming Home

(photo courtesy of IMDb)

Pairing: Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Reader. Other Characters: Captain Jim Kirk, Sulu, Uhura, Spock, Scotty, Nurse Chapel, Joanna McCoy and Jocelyn McCoy

Word Count: 6594

Warnings: A bit of angst as there usually is with exes, medical incident, topped off with fluff and a little implied smut.

Prompt: “Did you ever plan on telling me?”

Summary: Reader left Dr. McCoy and the Enterprise eight years ago for reasons unknown. Captain Kirk has decided to get her to come back, so he offers her a position in the ship’s Botany Department and Lab. How will her ex-boyfriend and CMO Dr. McCoy react to seeing her after all these years?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Jim, I just don't think it's a good idea," you told him, shaking your head. Captain James T Kirk was in your apartment, trying to convince you to rejoin him on the USS Enterprise.

"Why not? It's been, what, eight years now? Surely he's forgiven you by now," Kirk replied.

"Even if he has, which I doubt, I haven't forgiven me yet. We haven't even spoken since I left. No, I can't come back, Jim. You need things to run smoothly on that ship of yours. I would only upset the applecart," you affirmed.

"Please? You're the best botanist in Starfleet, and we really need you. Sulu can bring you up to speed on all of his latest findings with the plants we've catalogued in the past few years. Besides, there are others who would be happy to see you return to the ship," Kirk pressed.

You bit your bottom lip in concentration. Jim could tell you were close to cracking under his persuasive argument. You missed your 'girl talk' sessions with Uhura, even though monthly subspace messages have kept you in touch. They just haven't been the same as being together in person. If you came back, you might even start a lively discussion with Spock on Vulcan vs. Human philosophy.

If you went back, you know Jim would make your return as smooth as possible. He was right, that others would be happy to see you again. However, there was at least one crew member that you were fairly certain would not share in everyone's enthusiasm at seeing you back on the Enterprise.

Dr. Leonard. McCoy.

The two of you had been in a relationship for about four years prior to your departure. You shared the same quarters, during which time you were blissfully happy and in love. Leonard was the light of your life, and you saw him in every scenario in your future. Marriage, family, retirement from active duty, maybe eventually a house somewhere.

All of that came crashing down the night of his daughter's birthday party, when Joanna was turning 13. Two weeks after it happened and without explanation, you left Leonard and the Enterprise.

You had no intention of ever returning to the ship. You were content in your teaching position at Starfleet HQ and to stay at home, maintaining your garden. That is, until a blonde-haired, blue-eyed captain came knocking on your door, asking you to come back.

"So?" Kirk asked.

"I'll need to pack a few things, make some arrangements," you sighed.

"Ship leaves here in five days, will that be enough time?" Kirk inquired.

"I suppose it'll have to be, won't it. You're not exactly leaving me with much choice," you retorted. "Don't worry, Jim. I'll be there, ready to assist you however I can," you promised. I just don't know if I'm ready to face him again, not after all these years that have gone by, you thought to yourself.

As if he heard you, Jim nudged your arm. "Maybe this is just the opportunity you two need, you know, to clear the air. Much as you may not think so, the two of you belong together," Jim concluded softly.

"I have a feeling that one way or another, the situation between Len and me will soon be resolved," you replied.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When you re-materialized on the transporter pad, you were surprised to see so many of your friends waiting to welcome you back. Sulu, Chekhov, Scotty, Uhura and even Spock had made the trip down to Transporter Room #3, along with the captain to await your return. The only one absent was Dr. McCoy, but you didn't expect him to show up. Not willingly anyway.

You stepped down from the transporter pad and were immediately engulfed in Uhura's embrace. She rambled on about when the first 'girl talk' night should be while you traded hugs with Sulu and Chekhov.

"Hello, Commander. It is agreeable to see you again," Spock greeted you.

"It's nice to see you, too, Spock," you smiled as you pulled him into a hug before he could stop you. "Mr. Scott, always a delight," you gushed.

"Aye, lassie, it's good to have ye home again," Scotty beamed.

"Thank you. It's good to be--" your greeting was interrupted by the transporter room doors sliding open. The moment of truth had finally arrived, where the next few words spoken would set the tone for the time to come.

"God in Heaven," McCoy whispered. His mouth suddenly went dry at seeing you again after eight years. He could see that the years had been kind to you, because to him, you were even more beautiful than before. His heart did a mini-flip in his chest, but almost immediately afterwards, his brain and his memory re-engaged.

McCoy coughed and cleared his throat in an effort to regain his composure. "Commander," he said gruffly, nodding his head sharply at you. "Jim, a word please?" he asked, then turned and left the transporter room without sparing you a second glance. Tears sprang to your eyes but did not fall.

"Excuse me, everyone," Kirk replied. As he passed by you, he caught your hand and squeezed lightly. "Don't worry, remember what I said about opportunities?" he asked and you nodded. "Don't waste 'em," he said with a wink.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"How could you do this, Jim? How could you allow her back on board after what happened between us? The woman I love broke my heart when she left me--the ship!" McCoy thundered.

"Well, Bones, let's start with the fact that we need someone to head the Botany Department and Lab, and she's the best. Then we'll fill in the middle with how I don't think either one of us knows exactly what happened to make her leave. And we'll end with, oh, because it's my ship, I'm the captain and if I say we need her, then she re-joins the crew," Kirk concluded.

"Fine. If that will be all, Captain?" McCoy replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, Bones, that will be all," Kirk responded. McCoy turned to leave when Kirk briefly called him back. "For what it's worth, you could look at this as an opportunity to clear the air between you. At least you'd know, once and for all why she left, instead of always assuming it's your fault."

McCoy mumbled something under his breath as he walked out of the captain's Ready Room. Kirk shook his head at his CMO's antics when it came to you. He knew the two of you still loved each other, and firmly believed that you belonged together.

Kirk wished he knew what happened all those years ago to make you think your only choice was to leave your family and the man you loved. Something told him that whatever it was, it was bound to come out into the open. Hopefully when it did and the dust settled, everything would return to some semblance of normal.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The first few weeks aboard ship were a bit awkward. You were trying to get used to a working schedule again, and on top of that, trying to avoid the CMO at every turn. It didn't help that you had mutual friends who didn't hesitate to offer their advice on how to resolve things. They all swore they only wanted what was best for you and the good doctor. However, only the two of you could decide what that looked like, and at least for now, that meant avoiding each other.

One day, you were in the lab, cataloguing plant samples gathered during an away mission to Taegus-3. You made sure your team was taking extra safety precautions when handling the samples. "Be careful around these plants, some may have thorns. We also don't know yet if they're poisonous, so for now, use the bio-suits and the thick rubber gloves."

You were walking through Station #2 where a member of your team was performing tests on one of the samples. The young ensign turned away from her station, while you made notes on your clipboard about the plant she was working with.

As you were asking her some questions about her work, you felt something snaking its way around your exposed forearm. By the time you realized what was happening, the plant had started to apply pressure to your now vine-wrapped arm. Sulu heard the commotion and rushed over with a knife, which he then used to cut the vine from your arm. The vine fell away, but left red burn marks in your arm wherever the vine had come into contact with the skin.

"You'd better head down to the MedBay and have someone take a look at that," Sulu advised.

You looked at Sulu like you'd rather have the vine back on your arm, squeezing the life out of it until it snapped off than deal with Dr. McCoy. Eventually you relented and left the lab to get yourself checked out in the MedBay. You only hoped that it was Dr. McCoy's day off, because you didn't think you could deal with him at the moment.

Unfortunately, luck was not to be on your side today. Nurse Chapel called for him as soon as she saw you walk in the door. She had you sit on the biobed and started to check your vital signs. While she was discussing them with Dr. McCoy, a wave of dizziness crashed over you. It was also getting harder to breathe, which was detected by the biobed and it started sending out alarms.

McCoy and Nurse Chapel came racing over to you. "Damn plant must give off some sort of toxin when it wraps around its victims. Hold on, sweetheart, stay with me. We'll get you taken care of, don't you worry," he soothed.

As comforting as his words were, you knew he was in 'doctor mode'. It came naturally to him to use soft terms like 'sweetheart' to put his patients at ease. You knew those words didn't hold any affection towards you anymore like they used to. Whatever feelings may have been implied towards you by his words were likely to be a thing of the past.

"Hold still now, we're going to give you something to counteract the toxin," McCoy explained. He attached a hypospray to your neck and pressed the button to release the medication. Almost immediately, your breathing became easier and the dizziness slowly dissipated. In the meantime, he took the opportunity to bandage the vein-like burns in your forearm.

Once your condition seemed to be stabilized, all you could think of was to get out of the MedBay and back to your quarters. You eased yourself down from the biobed and took a few tentative steps towards the door.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, where do you think you're going?" McCoy demanded.

"Back to my quarters, Dr. McCoy. I thank you and Nurse Chapel for your assistance, but I can take care of myself from here. I hereby relieve you of your obligation to monitor my health any further," you retorted.

"I really don't think that's a good idea, sweetheart," he replied. "You could have a relapse, or develop a complication, or--" he started.

"DON'T. You don't get to call me 'sweetheart', or 'darlin', or anything that would indicate you remotely have any feelings of affection for me anymore," you shot back. Tears began prickling at your eyes, threatening to fall. "Ever since I got here, you've been avoiding me. In the mess hall, the rec area, even the turbolift for goodness' sake," you explained.

"Me?!? As far as I see it, Commander, it's been mutual avoidance. This is as much interaction as I've had with you since the day I saw you in Transporter Room #3. So, don't pin all of this on me," he snapped.

"I'm pretty sure you're not happy that I'm here, so I figured I'd stay out of your way as much as possible. To that end, I'm leaving and going back to my quarters," you informed him calmly.

"Yeah, that's right, I almost forgot. Leaving, that is what you do best, isn't it?" McCoy sneered.

You stopped walking towards the door, overcome by a sob too painful to hold in anymore. After taking a deep breath, you turned your tear-stained face to Dr. McCoy. "I suppose you're right. I've had that coming to me for the last eight years, haven't I?" you asked tearfully. You turned back towards the doors then left the MedBay and headed straight for your quarters.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After you left, McCoy stood there, with his hands on his hips and shaking his head. He wondered how the situation with you ever got to this point. He remembered how much in love the two of you were, sharing quarters, intertwining lives. For him, you were his whole world, the one he saw his future unfolding with. You loved him despite his flaws and the fact that he constantly thought that he didn't deserve you.

Your mutual friends were rooting for you both, and Joanna loved you as well. The two of you got along well, no hint of jealousy from her when it came to spending time with her father. He remembered how flattered you were when Joanna had once asked for your advice on something.

Jocelyn didn't seem to like you, but then again, she didn't love much of anything to do with him, except Joanna. On more than a few occasions, he'd heard Jocelyn throw snide remarks your way. But as was your nature, you took the high road, and Leonard felt you had handled his ex-wife with grace.

Then came Joanna's birthday party. He'd seen you and Jocelyn talking about something, then when you left her, you looked a little shaken up. McCoy didn't think much of it at the time, but you seemed a little distracted after the encounter. He tried to get you to talk to him about it, however, you assured him that you were tired and just needed some rest to feel better.

Two weeks after the party, without any prior discussion, you had left the Enterprise for a teaching position. Just like that, you were gone from his life, but not remotely gone from his heart. He'd met other women over the past eight years, but none of them could ever hold a candle to you. And deep down, Leonard McCoy knew that no one else ever would.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Back in your quarters, you went straight for the bathroom to splash water on your face as a way to calm down. How dare he! you thought. You had stayed away from him because you thought that's what he wanted. After all it was you who left him. Even though in your mind you knew it was for a good reason, there were still at least two broken hearts at the end of it.

You suddenly remembered what day it was, so you finished drying off your face with a towel. Today was Joanna McCoy's birthday, and she was turning 21, an important milestone. You hoped she was available to take your call, but if not, you would leave a birthday message for her.

Despite no longer being together with her father, you still kept in touch with Joanna over the years. She was a ray of sunshine in Leonard's life, and in yours as well. The last you had heard, she was participating in Starfleet's medical program, thus following in her father's footsteps.

You opened up the comms to send your message request to Joanna. A minute or so later, your video screen lit up with her smiling face and frantic waving at the camera. "Happy Birthday, Joanna!" you grinned.

"Thank you! It's so good to hear from you," she exclaimed.

"I sure wish I could give you a hug for your birthday, sweetie. How's school going for you?" you asked.

She launched into a few tales from her classes, with you nodding and smiling. One of her stories had you busting out in laughter so hard that tears were coming out of your eyes. For the most part, she had achieved the right balance between school and having fun, not an easy task.

"Hey, so Uncle Jim told me you're back on the Enterprise, is that right?" Joanna asked.

"Yes, that's right. Your uncle visited me about six weeks ago and asked me to run the Botany Department and Lab. I wasn't sure about coming back, but he eventually wore me down," you gave a small smile.

"Has he....has Dad seen you? Have you talked to him?" she asked carefully.

You nodded. "I had to go to the MedBay today, due to an unfortunate encounter with a plant from Taegus-3. It wrapped around my arm and wouldn't let go. I had to get a hypo for an allergic reaction, and bandages for my arm. Your dad patched me up just right," you explained.

"Good. Um....I have to ask you something. Do you remember my 13th birthday party?" she inquired.

"Joanna....," you warned.

"Do you remember it?" she tried again. You nodded and she continued. "I know something happened there, because two weeks later, you and Dad weren't together anymore. Why? You two were so happy together, and then you left. What happened?" Joanna demanded.

"Something I can't talk about, Jo, but my leaving was for the best. The best for you and the best for your dad," you replied.

"Best?!? How could it be best for you and Dad to be without each other for this long? Didn't you love him anymore? Was it my mom? Did she say something to you at that party?" Joanna persisted.

At her question, you looked away, and you knew you'd only fueled her curiosity. "Of course I still love him. I told you Joanna, I can't talk about it. Please don't push me on this. Listen, sweetie, I have to go now, but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Take care, honey," you said.

"But---" was the last you'd heard of her voice before you terminated the connection. In the reflection of the view screen, you could see tears sliding down your face. You decided that you needed a drink, so you left your quarters and headed for the recreation area.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well, well, well, who do we have here?" Captain Kirk said as he saw you sitting at the bar.

You groaned at his presence, only wanting to be left alone. "Oh, god, Jim. What are YOU doing here?" you retorted.

"I heard you got hurt and went to MedBay today. Then I went by your quarters to check on you, only to find out you're not there. Figured I'd get a drink, and here you are," he replied.

"Jim, don't take this pershonally," you slurred. "But I want to be left alone. M'kay? Been a rotten day and I'm jusht done," you remarked as you drained your glass and signaled for a refill.

"What happened today?" he persisted.

"You think that just because you have that perfect hair and those bright blue eyes that I'm just gonna spill my guts?" you asked. A smirk crossed his face as he waited expectantly. "Fine. I'll tell you, you insufferable man. I called Joanna McCoy today, since it's her 21st birthday," you started.

"Thanks for the reminder, I'll have to call her later," Kirk interjected.

"Anyway, the topic of conversation got around to her 13th birthday party. She asked me why her dad and I aren't together anymore," you explained, tears threatening again.

"What did you tell her?" Kirk asked.

"I told her the same thing I'm going to tell you. I can't talk about it, but I did what I thought was best for her and for Leonard," you replied. "Now, drop it, Jim," you warned.

"Sorry, no can do. Bones and I both saw Jocelyn talking to you at the party, then the rest of the night you seemed a little upset. Don't get me wrong, you put on a brave face. You fooled most everyone, but Leonard and I knew that something wasn't right. Look, it's been eight years. Don't you think it's time to spill the beans?" Kirk wondered.

"Jim, no good can come from this. Best just to let sleeping dogs lie," you said as you tried again to shut him down.

"Please, let me in. I can see how much this is hurting you, and I think Len finally deserves to know the truth. Don't you think so?" Kirk pleaded.

A few tears had slipped down your face, and you nodded, your resolve having broken at last. "It started when I was in the kitchen putting candles on Joanna's cake. I thought I would do that to make myself useful, help Jocelyn so it was one less thing she had to worry about. Wrong move, because she read me the riot act about how it's her job to do that and I should just back off," you said.

"Ungrateful b....please go on," he prompted.

"I apologized, but she refused to accept it. Instead, she gave me an ultimatum. I had to stop seeing Leonard or she would refuse to let him see Joanna. At first, I couldn't believe she was serious, but one look in her eyes and I knew she was. That's why I was so distant the rest of the night. I tried to put Leonard off by saying I was just tired, but I don't think he was convinced," you remarked.

"Why didn't you tell Len? Or me? We would've found a way to fight this," Kirk insisted.

"I know you would have, and I love you both for it. She said if I told anyone, her next stop was the courthouse. Don't you see? She held all the cards, and I had nothing," you explained.

"You didn't have 'nothing', you had Len and me," Kirk replied.

"Think about it. If I fought her, then she took Len to court and he lost, it's my fault. If I refused to stop seeing Leonard, she would not let him see his daughter. My fault again. Either way, Jim, Leonard and Joanna lose. I couldn't bear for that to happen, so I left. As much as I loved him, and still do, his relationship with his daughter is and always will be more important," you finished. Tears were now streaming unchecked down your face.

"Whoa. I knew she was a piece of work, but I didn't know exactly how much. Bones would be livid if he found out that Jocelyn is the reason you're not together," Kirk replied.

"And that's exactly why I didn't want to tell you. Jim, please, I'm begging you. Let this go," you implored as you slid off your barstool. Jim turned to you and pulled you into his comforting embrace. "I'm going to go sleep this off, okay? I'll be taking a sick day tomorrow," you added. "Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight," he called after you then returned his attention to his drink.

"Poor kid. Hate to see a pretty girl cry. So, knowing you, I'd bet that you have no intention of letting this go, do you, Captain?" Tony, the bartender, asked.

"Nope," he replied, downing the rest of his drink. "I gotta find a way to make this right if it's the last thing I do. Thanks, Tony," he said before leaving to go to his quarters. Once there, he opened a comms channel to send a message to his niece. The video screen popped up with Joanna's picture.

"Uncle Jim!! So great to see you," she gushed.

"Happy Birthday, honey. Listen, I know about a conversation you had earlier, that involved a certain someone and your dad," Kirk remarked. "I finally got her to tell me what happened at your birthday party."

"She told me she couldn't tell me, but she could tell you?" Joanna asked angrily.

"Hold on there, sweetie. In her defense, she'd had a lot to drink by the time I caught up with her," Kirk explained.

"Oh. Well, I asked Mom about it, but she wouldn't tell me either. Please tell me what happened, I want to know," Joanna begged.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Then we're going to brainstorm on how to get the two of them back together," Kirk winked.

"Ooh yay! So, tell me," she persisted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dr. McCoy trudged into his quarters and sat down on the couch. He grabbed a communication tablet and sent a signal to his daughter, to wish her a happy birthday. Unfortunately, Jocelyn picked up the tablet and answered.

"Joanna's busy right now, Leonard. Call her back later," Jocelyn replied curtly as she moved to disconnect the call.

"Wait, Jocelyn! Will you please let her know that I called to wish her a happy birthday?" McCoy asked.

"Your girlfriend already called earlier and spoke to Joanna. I just assumed you were in the room at the time," Jocelyn remarked.

"What girlfriend? I don't know what you're talking about," McCoy replied. He was starting to get an uneasy feeling the more he talked to his ex-wife.

Jocelyn made a tsking sound of disgust. "The same one that was here on Joanna's 13th--" she broke off and a smug smile crossed her face. "Never mind. I guess she took my advice then."

McCoy's face drained of color. "And just what advice was that? It's been eight years, Jocelyn, you'll have to refresh my memory," he retorted.

"What difference does it make? She must not have been as devoted to you as you were to her. She left you, therefore, you got to keep seeing your daughter," Jocelyn shot back.

The pieces started to come together in McCoy's mind, and it was showing him a pretty ugly picture. "You threatened her. Didn't you?" he seethed. "Why, Jocelyn? What has she ever done to you?" he demanded.

"Joanna called her 'Mom', that's what!" Jocelyn exclaimed. "When Joanna came home from that week-long vacation with the two of you, she was telling me about how much fun she'd had. She slipped and referred to your girlfriend as 'Mom'. I am her mother! I will not be replaced by some flavor-of-the-month!" she shrieked.

"ENOUGH, MOM!" Joanna's voice came through clearly. "Hi, Dad," she greeted McCoy.

"Hiya, pumpkin," he drawled. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart," he replied softly. "Did you know about this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at his daughter.

"Dad, nobody knew anything about it until she told Uncle Jim tonight. And he said that it was only after a lot of alcohol that she would even tell him. She's kept this horrible secret for all this time, because she wanted you to be happy and able to keep visiting me. She still loves you, Dad, I know she does. Please tell me you still love her," Joanna pleaded.

McCoy turned his face away from the view screen, but not before his daughter caught a glimpse of his watery eyes. "I never stopped loving her, Jo. Not even when she left. I was angry and hurt, but....yes, I still love her," he declared, his voice thick with emotion.

"Then you know what you have to do, Daddy. Go tell her," Joanna whispered the last part. "Consider it my birthday present," she grinned mischievously. "I love you."

"You got it, sweetheart. I'll let you know how it goes. Later, though," McCoy promised with a grin of his own. "I love you," he told her before the call disconnected.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The view screen clicked off, while McCoy digested all of the information he'd just been given. All these years, he mused. The two of you could've been happy together, maybe even engaged or married. Instead, his ex-wife and her jealousy got in the way of that with her threats of denying him visitation rights.

He'd been so wrapped up in his own emotions since you've been back, that he hadn't stopped to consider how you may be feeling. He had been convinced that the reason you left was because you didn't love him anymore. Now he knew that the exact opposite was true. You loved him so much that you sacrificed your own happiness with him so he could continue to see his daughter.

Leonard knew that he had to make things right between you. It couldn't have been easy to come back to work on the Enterprise, knowing at any moment you could run into each other. But, you pushed those feelings and worries aside to help Jim by running the Botany Department and Lab.

He had to admit, it's been awkward since you've been back. He didn't expect the old feelings of love to come rushing back at the first sight of you that day in Transporter Room #3. As much as your leaving had hurt him and the radio silence throughout the years, he still loved you. And now, he grinned to himself, it was time to do something about it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You left the rec area and had gone back to your quarters for the night. When you got back, you changed out of your uniform and put on your pink plaid pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt. You made sure it was short-sleeved because of the bandages on your arm from the Strangling Vine Incident earlier in the day. After grabbing a glass of water and two pain meds, you settled into place on the couch. "Computer, illumination at 30% please," you requested.

What a day. First you were attacked by an alien vine, forcing you to get checked out in the MedBay by your ex-boyfriend and CMO. Later, you couldn't even find peace in the rec area. The CMO's best friend and captain of the ship kept hounding you about something that took place eight years ago. You'd told him to drop it, but he refused until you spilled that horrible secret.

Now Jim knows, but knowing about it didn't change anything. No matter how much you still loved him, Leonard surely didn't love you anymore. He'd made that quite clear today with his parting remark as you left the MedBay. You continued to sip at your water, each tilt of the glass with a shakier hand than before.

Off in the distance you heard your door chime, indicating someone at your door. "Come in," you called. You were shocked to see Dr. McCoy walk in. "Excuse me for asking, Doctor, but what the hell are you doing here?" you demanded, arms crossed over your chest.

His eyes locked with yours and you almost gave in to the softness you thought you saw, but you stood your ground. He cleared his throat before speaking. "I'm here to check your bandages. You left the MedBay so quickly, I wanted to make sure that the wound was still covered," he explained.

You rolled your eyes. "Really, Doctor? Is that the best excuse you could come up with? You didn't even bring your medkit, and I really don't have time for this. Goodnight, Dr. McCoy," you retorted.

"Now wait just a minute. As Chief Medical Officer, I am responsible for the health and safety of all crew members. I can see right now that you look a little flushed, which could mean a fever and possibly an infection. Just a quick exam. It'll be painless, I promise," he pleaded, his hands raised.

You arched an eyebrow in skepticism but finally relented. "Fine. A quick exam, then I'm going to bed and you can see yourself out," you muttered.

He stood in front of you, first looking at the bandaged arm, then sliding his hands up your arms to rest on your shoulders. He peered into your eyes and could see how bloodshot they were, probably from the tears you'd been shedding lately. He checked the lymph nodes on your neck to see if they were swollen, but they were fine.

He patted down his uniform, checking his pockets. "Hmm. I don't have a tricorder with me, so I'll have to check your temp the old fashioned way," he remarked. Before you could utter a word, his lips meshed with your forehead.

The second his soft lips touched your skin, something inside you fluttered. You closed your eyes and gave a sigh of contentment before you could stop yourself. "Doctor....," you whispered.

"Shh. Still checkin' your temp, darlin'. And it's Leonard, by the way. You used to call me that, remember?" he murmured against your skin.

Your eyes flew open and you stepped back. "Wait a minute. Why are you really here?" you asked.

"I already told you, to check your bandages. Besides, I want to apologize for what happened earlier in the MedBay, as you were walking out. I shouldn't have said that," McCoy started.

You backed further away from him as the realization sunk in. "Oh no, no, no, you've been talking to Jim, haven't you?" you replied. "I told him to drop it, that no good can come from dredging up something that happened eight years ago. Dammit, does that man ever listen?" you ranted, pacing the floor.

"Hold on there for a minute, sweetheart. I didn't talk to Jim, I called Joanna to wish her a happy birthday. Jocelyn picked up because Joanna was busy. Jocelyn was the one who admitted what happened, not Jim," McCoy explained.

"Leonard, I'm so sorry about what happened all those years ago. I truly thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. But all I've done is cause tremendous heartache for the people I love," you admitted, breaking down into tears yet again.

McCoy walked over and put his arms around you, holding you close to his chest. His hand came up and stroked the back of your head. "Shh, it’s okay, darlin'. I just wish I had known about it then. You never should've had to shoulder that burden all by yourself. Did you ever plan on telling me?" he asked.

You leaned back just far enough to lock eyes with him. "I couldn't, Len. Jocelyn said if I did, she would take you to court and fix it so you couldn't see Joanna at all. I know that custody hearings can go either way, and there's no way I could take the chance that you might lose. So I thought my only option was to step aside. I'd rather have you hate me but keep visitation rights for your daughter, than to love me and not have her," you said as you broke down again.

"Oh, Sugar, I could never hate you," he replied softly, brushing your cheek with the back of his hand. "When I found out that you left, I was so angry and hurt. Mostly because you'd made a decision alone that affected both of us. But when you came back and I saw you on that transporter pad all those weeks ago, I thought I had a second chance. Probably screwed that up too, though, haven't I?" he chuckled and so did you.

"Nah. You haven't done anything of the sort. I have missed you so much. After enough time had gone by, I thought about reaching out to you. Then I figured that too much time had gone by and you'd be with someone else. Which would've been fine, as long as you were happy, that's all that would matter to me," you remarked.

"Well, I haven't exactly been living like a monk, you know. I've met other women over the years, but none of them compared to you and no one ever will, either. Which is good, because I don't want any pale imitations or substitutions. I only want the real thing," he admitted just before crashing his lips into yours.

You felt the depth of his emotion poured into that first kiss and returned it with equal fervor. The apologies, the regrets, the longing for each other you still had after all these years. And the love you'd been keeping hidden from each other but never fully let show until now.

"Oh, my love," you whispered. "I've missed you so much, Leonard," you replied hoarsely.

"I've missed you too. I love you so much, Sugar. Can we please agree to not ever be separated like that again? I don't think my heart can take another minute without you," he remarked.

"Mine either. No more separations like that, because with you is where I belong. I love you, Len," you declared. You ran your hands up his arms and cradled his neck between them. Your fingers slid through his jet-black hair, smirking as you teased the short hairs at the base of his collar.

"Oh, there's my naughty girl, I wondered where she'd gone," McCoy growled playfully as he tightened his embrace.

"She's been right here, all along. Just waiting for the right time to come home," you replied softly, then tugged him closer for another kiss.

This kiss was different than before. This one was slow, sensuous and held the promise of a new beginning. As your mouths moved against each other, there was just enough of an opening between you for Leonard's tongue to slip through. He took full advantage of the opportunity, and when your tongues met, a moan of pleasure escaped from you.

Leonard's hands roamed up and down your back as he nudged his way to your neck. "Darlin', you're so beautiful," he murmured against your skin. He left a few open-mouthed kisses on your collarbone, nipping as he went and ultimately leaving his mark on you for all to see.

Layers of clothing were shed one by one. Little by little, Leonard nudged you backwards until the back of your knees hit the bed. You climbed up onto the mattress, crawling until you reached the middle where he soon joined you and leaned down to kiss you.

His hands and mouth took their time in worshiping every inch of your exposed skin, as if re-committing it to memory. Your mouth and hands were doing the same, reacquainting yourself with every muscle, every detail of his exquisite bare body.

The silence of your room was punctuated with breathy words of affection and moans of ecstasy from the two of you. Layers of passion were built higher and higher as you both chased your release. Finally, you both tumbled over the edge, one after the other, each whispering declarations of love.

Later, after you both got cleaned up, Leonard came back to bed and settled under the covers with you. He wrapped his arm around you so that your head rested on his chest. You could hear his steady heartbeat, which brought out a sigh of contentment from you.

"Len?" you whispered. He hummed in response, drawing random patterns on your shoulder. "Is this okay? I mean, what just happened, I don't want this to be a one-time thing. I'd like us to try again. I-If that's what you want," you hastily added.

He shifted so that he was propped up on his side, looking down at you. His hand cupped your face, while his thumb caressed your cheek. "Sweetheart, I've wanted that ever since you set foot back on this ship. I may be a little late in sayin' so, but I never stopped lovin' you. If you'll have me, I would love to try being us again," he replied softly.

"I would love that very much," you answered. "I love you, Leonard."

"I love you too, darlin'. Welcome home," he whispered, pulling you in for a long, slow kiss.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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#aimees1600wc #leonard mccoy x reader #leonard bones mccoy x reader #bones x reader #bones mccoy x reader #star trek aos

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