#cabaret interior

[thepaintedroom]

Paul Hoeniger (German, 1865 - 1924) • Moulin de la Galette • 1894

[dreveel]

Neon Speakeasy; {Credit}

[postcard-from-the-past]

Interior of the Cabaret du Néant venue in the Montmartre neighbourhood of Paris

French vintage postcard

[warner-york]

And a one a and a two a and a three A band take it away...

Beyond the Blue Horizon (2015)

A short film by Bill Domonkos featuring the music of The Three Suns and archive film footage from the Prelinger Archives.

[addictedgallery]

Get Your Art Fix!

"What good is sitting alone In your room? Come hear the music play. Life is a Cabaret, old chum, Come to the Cabaret." ~ Cabaret, Liza Minnelli, 1970

"CABARET COLOUR, Shanghai, China" by Florian Innerkofler, 2022

Arty-Fact: Florian Innerkofler is a Canadian contemporary photographer born in Innsbruck, Austria. He graduated from the Higher School of Architecture in Innsbruck, during which time he began his photography journey.

Florian moved to Vienna after graduating cum laude from the State School of Photography. He assisted renowned photographer Andreas H. Bitesnich for multiple years and worked with Hollywood photographer Greg Gorman.

Florian now travels around the globe on assignments from New York City to Tokyo, exploring East and West. He works for magazines and clients as diverse as Vogue Beauty, Glamour, Marie Claire, L'Orèal Paris, Rimmel London and Universal Music, to name a few.

See It On Your Wall

[cardula]

Happy birthday Liza Minnelli! "Cabaret" digital graphic 2018 #cardula #lizaminnelli #inkdrawing #ink #digitalart #digitalgraphic #woman #artdeco #cabaret #film #movie #lizaminnellifans #lizaminnellicabaret #elegant #fashion #cabaretmusical #inspired #interiordesign #homedesign #interior #decor #homedecor #livingspace #homedecoration #design #artist #art #arte https://www.instagram.com/p/Cpr2bjgDDAT/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[morbidology]

In the heart of Montmartre, Paris, during the late 19th and early 20th centuries, a district known for its bohemian lifestyle and artistic community, there existed a nightlife destination that was unlike any other—a place where visitors could literally descend into hell.

This was the Cabaret de l'Enfer (Cabaret of Hell), a unique establishment that combined the dark, gothic themes of the macabre with the lively spirit of Parisian cabaret. Its eerie atmosphere, theatrical decor, and devilish performances made it a legendary spot that left an indelible mark on Parisian culture.

The cabaret’s exterior was designed to resemble the gaping mouth of a monstrous demon, with the entrance framed by jagged teeth, inviting the brave (or curious) to step into the underworld. Above the entrance, ominous signage warned, "Enter and be damned!"

Upon entering, guests were immediately enveloped in an otherworldly experience. The interior of the Cabaret de l'Enfer was meticulously crafted to give a feeling of descending into Dante’s Inferno. The walls were adorned with fiery reds and deep blacks, with grotesque figures and depictions of torment etched into every surface. The lighting was dim and flickering, adding to the eerie ambiance, and the air was thick with the scent of incense and smoke, further enhancing the atmosphere of a nightmarish underworld.

The staff played their roles to perfection, dressed as devils, demons, and other creatures of the night. The host, known as the "Master of Hell," greeted patrons with sinister charm, welcoming them to the afterlife and inviting them to enjoy the torments of the damned. The waitstaff, similarly costumed, served drinks with names like "Flame of Hell" and "Devil's Delight," maintaining the theme down to the last detail.

However, like many cultural phenomena of the Belle Époque, the cabaret eventually faded as the times changed. The original Cabaret de l'Enfer closed its doors in the 1950s.

[marmie-noir]

Cabaret, Confessions, and Curses

TW: Smut, swearing, Mitch Keller being dressed up and looking good. Per usual no proof read so forgive any silly goofy things pls!

It felt like yesterday when we finally had claimed our peace. There had been a lot of work to do after but it had been so worth it. Every project came with it’s own reward, every long day ending with the knowledge that we were working towards our future. Which, most importantly, was about us being together. 

Since the shootout Mitch had been hesitant to let me out of his sight for a bit. I couldn’t tease him, I’d been the same. We’d been glued at the hip for weeks, the two of us doing everything together from meeting with contractors to approving interior design choices, to filling out paperwork to file with the state to make everything look crystal clean as far as the government was concerned. 

We had our fun too, weekends away and time away from the bar. Pops had harassed us enough to get out of the house and go ‘be young people’, the two of us going to a music festival a few towns over and getting drunk on cheap wine, dancing under the stars with a field full of other people. It was all like a dream, and it had all come down to this. 

I looked at myself in the mirror once more, fingers fiddling with the necklace I had picked. I heard Ann huff next to me and I glanced over with a little frown. “You look perfect, Sunny! C’mon!” She said, grinning at me. 

“You didn’t see Mitch before he left.” I muttered, reaching down to smooth the skirt of my dress. I’d picked something pretty, the cut of the front lower than I normally preferred, the back of it too, but when I’d seen it in the shop last time Ann dragged me out shopping I had wanted it. It was a pretty shade of green that looked nice against my skin and with my hair, making my eyes pop too after Ann had done her voodoo girl magic to make them seem more vibrant. One day I’d have her teach me, but for now I enjoyed having her handle it, the bonding experience something I’d never had with someone else. 

Mitch had left hours ago, getting all dressed up himself in a Western style shirt and a nice pair of jeans, even had a new pair of boots he’d prepped and waxed before going out. I’d practically drooled when he’d come to give me a kiss goodbye. “Come in a few hours, spend some time with Ann, get all dolled up. I’ll handle all the bullshit that always goes wrong on the first night of opening, darlin’. You just enjoy yourself. You’ve earned it.” He’d said, not letting me drag him to the bedroom for a quickie with how good he’d looked. It’d been half touched, half frustrated. 

“And he’s gonna sing tonight.” I said, giving a little spin in my mirror, looking at the way the skirts shifted as I moved. I looked good, really good. “Ann, it’s disgustingly unfair how hot he is.” “Girl, are we looking in the same mirror?” Ann asked, stopping next to me, meeting my eyes in the mirror. “You are looking so fine right now, don’t even. C’mon, get your cute butt into gear, we gotta go see your man. And I wanna check out my new job.” As promised all the employees from Bred-2-Buck would still be employed. But Mitch had been very firm when he’d told everyone that tonight they wouldn’t not be working, they would be enjoying the new place. Even Charlie had accepted, and I was looking forward to seeing the old man show up in his Sunday best. 

Ann drove us to the bar and we didn’t have any issues finding parking, seeing as there was employee parking in a well lit part of the new parking lot, Mitch having that be part of the changes. Safety for his employees. We walked up, spotting Fred acting as bouncer at the front door. 

He perked up, grinning at the two of us. I leaned in, returning his hug and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before pulling back to step in as Ann chatted him up. She liked to flirt with Fred, he got shy and stuttery around her in the sweetest way. 

It was beautiful. The lighting was a reddish tint and everything was new and spotless. Pale colored couches lined the walls, round tables filling up the middle with a spot left open before the new stage for a dance floor. The place was packed except for a few tables near the front and everyone was having a great time eating, drinking, and laughing. Spotting some more familiar faces my smile grew and I made my way towards the front spotting Bohdi and Grace, who I pulled into a hug. She looked stunning, wrapped in a pale bodycon dress, her smile sincere. Clint walked up with another round of drinks and I gave him a side hug too. 

“This is insane! It’s so full!” I said, grinning at them as I slid my hands down the back of my thighs as I sat, making sure my skirt didn’t get too wrinkled. Turning towards the stage I felt my body freeze in reaction, eyes widening as I made eye contact with Mitch. “God damn.” I whispered, causing Ann and Grace to laugh. 

He looked as good as I remembered from a few hours ago, except now he had a few of his top buttons undone. He hadn’t even worn a hat tonight, his hair combed back, a few strands falling across his forehead as he moved slightly while singing, rocking as he played the guitar and sang with that grin on his face. Now, I was no groupie, but a girl could only handle so much. Grace said something but I couldn’t hear her, just going “Mhm.” As I blinked up at Mitch. He smirked, shooting me a wink before scanning across the room. Always the boss it seemed. 

“Grace said Dwight was at the bar if you want to say hi.” Ann said, reaching over to give my thigh a squeeze, making me jump slightly. I blushed at being caught oogling Mitch so obviously. Refocusing on her I reached up to brush some of my hair from my face, giving her a little nod. “Yeah, I will in a minute.” 

The song wrapped up and I clapped with everyone else. Mitch straightened, adjusting the guitar strap as he wrapped his free hand around the mic stand with that same pearly smile. He looked so happy, he looked so good, so in his element. It made my heart ache with happiness a little bit. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, if I could have your attention please?” He said, the band winding down the song behind him as he looked into the crowd. I crossed my legs, intent on hearing what he had to say. 

“As many of ya’ll know, we just got our license.” He gestured to the back room which was now filled with card tables and slot machines. The gambling license had been a longer process than anticipated but it hadn’t been overly difficult thankfully. “And I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome you all to the future home of the Bred-2-Buck Cabaret and Casino!” I let out a cheer and clapped, everyone else joining in. It felt good to have our friends here, the people who had become near and dear to my heart filling the space. 

“Now, none of this would be possible without without the support of my partners, in particular Mr. Dwight Manfredi.” He said, gesturing towards the bar. I turned in my seat, spotting the familiar gray head of hair next to his daughter who I’d recently met. I cupped my hands around my mouth and let out a cheer before clapping. Dwight had grown on me slower than Mitch, but after what he did for us? He was alright in my books, closer to family than I’d like to admit. 

Dwight gave a little wave, looking pleased with himself and not a bit shy. “And I’d also like thank the one who got me through the long hours of paperwork and the frustrations of interior design,” He said, voice dropping low like it was some sort of horror. It garnered some laughter but he didn’t stop. “My rock, my girl, Sunny.” 

I smiled so wide my cheek hurt. I covered my lower face, blushing and shaking my head as Ann reached over to pat at my shoulder, Grace letting out a whooping cheer that had me batting at her with a laugh. Once the clapping and cheers died down he continued on, practically glowing. “Now, I’m going to be taking a short break from being the entertainment tonight to enjoy myself, but I’ll be back in no time. But please give a warm welcome to Malcom and the Bonefish.” He stepped aside as another man stepped forward, apparently part of the band he’d hired for opening night. People clapped once more as the music started up. Mitch handed off his guitar and stepped off the stage, one hand sliding through his hair as he said something to a worker before heading over towards me. I hopped up, all but throwing myself into his open arms. He let out a quiet laugh, giving me a good squeeze before pulling back to look me over. “And I thought you couldn’t get any prettier.” He said, taking my hand and giving me a little spin with that smile that had a heat burning in my lower stomach. I squeezed his hand back and pulled him towards the dance floor where a few other couples were swaying, wanting to get a dance in with him on one of the most important nights. “Hush, I just had to match how handsome you look.” I said, reaching up to lace my fingers together behind his neck. His hands found my hips, the two of us leaning in and swaying to the music. It wasn’t exactly a slow song so we didn’t move slow, but it wasn’t something we should be swinging around to. It was perfect like everything else had been today. “Mitch, it looks amazing.” I said, grinning up at him. He nodded, glancing up for a moment to take in the room before meeting my eyes once more. “Should. You picked everything out.” “Not everything.” I said with a laugh, making him grin a little wider. “You picked out some stuff too.” “Mhm, but the important stuff is all you, darlin’. Don’t forget that.” He said, hands moving to my lower back, pressing gently to ensure I was pressed up tightly against him. I went willingly, the music perfect. I let out a happy sigh, relaxing against his taller form. “Like I’d let you forget that.” I teased, fingers playing with a few strands of his hair at the base of his neck. Mitch leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to my lips before pulling back. I wanted more, and I had already crafted a plan to get what I wanted a few days ago when I’d seen that new desk get carted into his office. Sturdy, hardwood, looking like it should be in a lawyers office. “I’ve got a surprise for you if you can spare fifteen minutes.” “Fifteen minutes for my girl? Easy.” He said, pulling back to find my hand once more. “Lead the way, pretty girl.” The name brought butterflies to my stomach and I shot Ann a wink as I lead Mitch away. She knew my plan, I’d confessed it when we had been getting ready. I lead Mitch down the hallway towards his office, sneaking a glance back at him to catch his heated expression. Opening his office door I closed it behind us, letting go of his hand to walk over to the desk. I perched myself on top of the cool hardwood, leaning back to pop open the top drawer. I pulled the picture frame out, and then grabbed a bottle of expensive whiskey I’d bought with Dwight’s guidance. Setting the bottle down next to my thigh I held the frame out to Mitch with a grin, gesturing he take it. He did, stepping closer, flipping it over. Mitch was silent a few moments before he looked at me, surprising me by being slightly emotional. There was a sheen to his eyes I’d never seen before. “I’m gonna confess, darlin’. When you pulled me in here I thought I was going to be breaking in the new desk. Didn’t think you’d be getting me all misty eyed.” He said, giving me a softer smile and looking back at the picture. 

It was a picture I’d taken awhile ago, a few weeks after starting to work for Mitch. I had insisted Ann snap a picture of myself, Mitch, and Pops. Had claimed it was for me, admitted guilted them a bit. It had turned out great, the old interior of the bar obvious in the photo, my cheesy grin with Mitch laughing, and Pops cracking a half smile for the picture because Ann had asked sweetly.I had it sized up and put into a nice frame for him to put wherever he wanted it.  

“I got a few other shots of the bar I took before we- well, blew it up.” I said with a little shrug, reaching out to hook my fingers in his belt loops to pull him closer between my spread thighs. “Confession time for me as well, I was really hoping you’d fuck me on the new desk also. Think of it as a two parter.”

Mitch let out a genuine laugh, setting the photo down on the desk to instead grab my face. He tilted my chin up, leaning down to press his lips to mine, smiling still. I knew I was smiling too, arching up to kiss him back, the taste of the drink he must have had earlier a little burn against my tongue as it dipped between his lips.  

“Been thinkin’ about you all pretty on this desk since they brought it in.” Mitch breathed out against my lips as his hands moved to my thighs, sliding up under my dress as he leaned in closer to grind against me. He felt good, already half hard in his jeans, the cool metal of his belt buckle obvious through the thin material of my dress. “Oh, my too. I miss the old desk but this one will do.” I teased, nipping at his bottom lip as I reached for his buckle, needing him. I’d been wet since seeing him on stage, my body immediately reacting to seeing that smile for me as he sang. Mitch Keller was like a drug and I was addicted because no matter how much I touched and tasted him I always came back for more. 

Mitch made a noise that was all masculine amusement, his big hands giving the fat of my thighs a squeeze before dipping between them. The rings on his fingers were cool too and I whined, thighs spreading a bit more out of habit, undoing the jingling belt buckle and working on his pants next. As I undid his pants he hooked his fingers around my panties and pulled them down, dropping the red lace on the desk next to me. The thin scrap of fabric had him raising a brow, giving me a sly smile. “Well now, someone was planning this.” He said, one of his big hands pressing against my cunt, blunt fingertips finding how wet I was with a little groan in the back of this throat. “Really planning this.” 

“I did say it was a surprise.” I breathed out. With the help of his free hand he opened his pants, my hands greedily dipping in and pushing them down enough to free his now fully hard cock. “The bra matches, you can see it later.” “Fucking- you are going to be the end of me.” He said with a smile, hand wrapping around mine at the base of his cock, giving himself a slow pump that had me rocking my hips against his hand between my thighs. “I need you now.” I said, looking up at him. So fucking handsome, especially when his blue eyes went dark with want, the two of us wrapped up in one another. Inseparable on a base level that would terrify me if it was anyone else but strong, sturdy Mitch. “I don’t wanna hurt you.” He said, two fingers pushing into my slick pussy. I whined, clenching around him, head tipped back to look up at him. “Y’get so tight, baby.” “Won’t hurt me, want it.” I demanded as firmly as I could while suppressing a moan as he hooked his fingers just right, rubbing at the spot inside me his long frustratingly talented fingers always seemed to find. “Please, Mitch. Fuckin’ please.” He bit out a curse, his hand leaving me and having me feel empty once more. I leaned back on my elbows, arching my hips up so he could push my skirt to my waist, leaning in to grind his hard cock against where I wanted him more. He hit my clit, the friction making me take in a sharp inhale, nipples pebbling behind my sheer bra and showing through the thin dress. 

My legs wrapped around his hips, pulling him closer, needing him inside of me. There was an underlying desperation, a desire, the ache he created deep inside me only something he could soothe. “Please.” I whined once more as he pulled his hips back slightly to slot himself in place. Mitch leaned forward and captured my lips in a heated kiss as he sunk into me, pushing each thick inch into me slowly until his hips were pressed flush against mine. My thighs immediately tightened around his middle as I moaned into the kiss, lips parting under his as he fucked into me with slow, firm strokes, his tongue tasting between my lips at the same time. 

He was big and thick in the perfect way, and I was soaked for him already, each stroke easy. “So good for me.” He ground out, big hands moving to under my knees, using his hold to push my legs up towards my chest. It changed the angle, letting him slide in easier, each thrust pushing him deeper. It was so good my eyes nearly rolled back. 

“Fuck, I’m so lucky.” Mitch’s voice was rough, almost like how it sounded in the morning when I kissed him awake. I wanted to tell him I was the lucky one, I was the one who was winning, a little cock drunk and delusionally happy. But words had left me and I whined, nodding as he continued to thrust. He didn’t let up, setting a fast pace. 

“M’not gonna last.” I confessed, clenching around him when he bottomed out again, grinding so that his pelvis put the most delicious friction on my clit. “‘Specially if you do that.” 

“Me either.” He said, hands sliding up my calves to hook my ankles over his shoulders. He was so deep it was like he was fucking the breath out of my lungs but in the best possible way, my own arousal making the slap of skin on skin sinfully wet. With his hands now free he reached between us. But instead of going right for my clit like he normally did he pressed on my lower stomach lightly. It had me nearly choking on my own gasped breath, the force of his hand making sure that every stroke of his cock hit right where I needed, bullying my g-spot mercilessly. “Fuck-, Mitch.” I choked out, reaching out to grip the edge of the desk as well near the top of my head. His free hand found one of mine, lacing our fingers together, pinning my hand against the wood. His other, on my stomach, was of course long enough to use his thumb to flick at my clit as he fucked me harder and faster. He had me practically bent in half but I didn’t care, the position letting him sink in deeper and faster, pressing in so deep I saw stars. 

“Please please please.” I panted out with each clap of our hips, squeezing our interlaced hands, looking up into his pretty blue eyes. More hair had fallen in his face but it looked good. He gave a little nod, adding a little roll to his hips to grind where I needed him. “C’mon baby, give it to me. Show me how good I make you feel, hm? Wanna see you come undone on my desk so I can think of your perfect pussy every time I sit down to do paperwork.” He growled out, hips never slowing. It was too much and I fell apart under him, my own free hand clasping over my parted lips as I let out a cry. I came hard, clenching around him tightly. I made a noise that I was sure was a porno level moan but all sound had become muffled except the sharp breaths Mitch was taking above me, his own movements becoming sloppy as he chased his own high. “That’s it, that’s my pretty girl, fucking look at you baby. Christ, that’s it. Take it, know you can, know you want to.” He said, deep voice more like a growl in my ear as I nodded at him, hand leaving my mouth as I panted and whimpered. 

The familiar warmth bloomed in my lower stomach and he groaned, head hanging and resting his forehead on mine as he came hard. I echoed the sound, my free hand moving to cup the back of his neck, chin tilting up to capture his lips in a slow heated kiss. He ground against me but didn’t move anymore than that, firmly as deep as he could get. After a few moments Mitch broke the kiss, panting but grinning. I mirrored his expression, letting out a little laugh as he slowly leaned back and let my legs down off his shoulders, his hands massaging at my hips as they were rather stiff from the position. “Shit- I don’t want to ruin your pretty dress.” He said, ready to pull out but hesitating because we’d certainly made a mess. I let out another laugh, gesturing to the side where the cubbies were rebuilt into the wall. “I put some towels in here.” I said, hand falling limp onto the cool surface of the desk. He leaned down to give me another quick kiss before slowly pulling out, both of us making a sound at the overstimulation before he grabbed the towels to gently work on cleaning me up. The two of us straightened one another up and I fixed my hair in the little mirror next to the door, pleased to find Ann’s make up wasn’t really smudged because she used some professional level setting spray. We ended up perched on the edge of the desk, thighs pressed together, as he cracked open the bottle of whiskey. I leaned on his arm but accepted the bottle, taking a small sip and proud that I didn’t even pull a face. “Well,” I said, handing him back the bottle. “We did it Mitch. A full bar, people having a good time, and you even have a stage. A real stage. I’m proud of you.” He set the bottle down, arm wrapping around my shoulders and pulling me close. His free hand tipped my chin up to meet his eyes. I gave him a smile, content and happy, pleased that this was how life was going to be. “I love you.” Mitch spoke softly, thumb brushing over my bottom lip. I blinked, wondering if I’d misheard him. After a few heartbeats I melted. “I love you too.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.” “Good. Think you might be stuck now, darlin’. Stuck here, stuck with me.” He said, voice still that same soft tone that made me want to wrap myself up in him. “Oh no, not here at the bar that is my home with my insanely hot boyfriend. God, some people have no luck.” I teased, giving his thigh a squeeze. He leaned down, brushing his lips against mine when someone knocked on the door. The two of us didn’t pull away but we did turn to look at the door. “Yeah?” He called out, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “Mitch, it’s Dwight.” I recognized Fred’s voice. “He stepped outside to talk to some woman who asked for him and he’s been arrested. Cristina isn’t doing well, and we have no idea what is going on.” 

“God fucking damnit.”

More Mitch and Sunny here

Well, here it is. I might post some random things from the three month break between the shootout and the opening of the new Bred-2-Buck, but for this season that is a wrap. I really love Sunny, thank you everyone who bothered to read my brainrot inspired little fit that was supposed to be 5 chapters long and melted into this. Ily all!!

[manysketchbook]

Firffels: the Wuzzles Competitor That Disappeared

Recently, I found this toy at my local thrift store. I thought it was an oddly cute nativity toy, but upon closer inspection the tush tag read "FIRFFELS. I'm glad to be a SHAMEL." I did a quick search online and the first result was this page on Ghost of the Doll, a toy collector's site that archives information about 80s/90s toys and includes a forum where anyone can seek help with identifying toys. This lead me down a rabbit hole of figuring out just what Firffels were: a failed line of toys promised to be the next hot phenomenon, with minimal documentation online and a handful of toys floating around in thrift stores.

Other than Ghost of the Doll, I found info about Firffels in this 2010 blog post by Trish Babbles (written in an edgy, mean-to-be-funny style that I think is too uncharitable, but it was a different time to be online lol) and this blog post by AF Blog. My other info comes from Othello Bach's website dedicated to the book itself (her personal site is no longer functional) and from a handful of youtube videos I found of a Firffels commercial. Many thanks to these sources, without them there'd be like, nothing online about these creatures.

Firffels are based on the children's book Who ever Heard of a Fird? by Othello Bach, first edition published in 1984 by Caedmon Childrens Books (upon Googling, it appears that Caedmon is owned by HarperCollins now and focuses on audiobooks). The story follows Fird, a fish-bird hybrid, as he travels the world to find other firds. Along the way he encounters a goofy, lovable cast of other hybrid animals who have all never heard of a fird. The story ends with fird learning to love his uniqueness and find peace with being who he is. As is apparent in the Amazon link above (not sponsored, just showing my work), a used copy is $86 dollars right now. An audiobook narrated by Joel Grey (an actor that I'm unfamiliar with who is apparently known for his role in Cabaret) was also released on cassette, listed on Ebay for $75+. Luckily, there is a youtube video of someone doing a complete read through of the book, but the camera angle is poor. This is the only visual record I could find online of the interior illustrations by Michelle Dorman, other than a brief look at a few in a low quality VHS promo rip I'll get to in a minute, and the image below from an Ebay listing. There may be a few more photos in some Etsy listings that I missed.

In Trish's blog post they complain that Shamel is an ugly monstrosity and there were a few comments on Ghost of the Doll's forum of the same nature about Shamel, but I think Shamel is the cutest one! It just looks like a new breed of camel, meanwhile Fird in the background here is...he's so cartoonishly goofy. Idk how else to describe him. He's so fuckin' goofy. He'd make squeaky Spongebob-esque sound effects when he walks, I imagine.

The book was allegedly a hit and Remco bought the merchandising rights. They went all in, as is detailed in the 5 minute promotional video below. Based on a cast of 6 characters, plush toys and posable action figures hit the market with a promise that Hanna Barbera would develop an animated tv show starring Firffels, housewares would be made, there'd be a clothing line, and Design-a-Firffel contests would be held. A few housewares seem to have been made and plush toy sewing patterns were released, but I was unable to find evidence that anything else moved forward.

Absolutely fucking insane fact: according to this video, Caedmon Publishing was owned by Raytheon at the time. Thanks Raytheon for these cuddly children's toys and also, uh, horrific weapons of war?

After I bought Shamel, I went back to the store to see if there were more. There were! I found Bertle and Elephonkey, who still had the original tags. I swear the day earlier I had seen a frog toy with butterfly wings but it wasn't there anymore. I remember passing over it and thinking "eh, butterfly wings on a frog aren't cute," and did not bothering even looking at the tags. My mistake. Turns out that toy was worth a decent amount of money and was part of this whole story.

Bertle's pink belly super bright in real life, like neon. There is a sunbleached spot on it's front.

Elephonkey is the only one with original tags. I also included an image of the tush tag. For each toy the tush tag is the same but displays the character's name.

Hybrid animals are not a unique concept. Wuzzles, a line of plush toys that were animal hybrids with wings and likely made to compete with Care Bears, are brought up in most posts and forums where Firffels are mentioned--usually to disparage Firffels as being knock off, less successful Wuzzles. Wuzzles weren't exactly successful either, though they definitely lasted longer and had more reach, likely due to the backing of a Disney/Hasbro budget. AF Blog in 2015 makes a good point that I agree with: it's unlikely that Wuzzles and Firffels were ripping each other off due to production timelines. Toy lines can be in development for years before any information is made public. It takes a long time to design toys, then get them to a manufacturer, then go through the revisions process. Not to mention the time it takes to ship things out, negotiate contracts at every step of the way, etc. And, as AF Blog notes, Whoever Heard of a Fird? was released in 1984, a year before the first Wuzzles tv episode aired, and Firffels hit the market a year later.

People draw hybrid animals all the time. For example, furry adoptable artists draw hybrids all the time (take a shot every time you find a closed species that is a feline with a fish tail or deer feet or some other animal's defining trait), the Lego movie had Unikitty, and I literally went to Walmart today and in the toy section there was a miniature rabbit-like rainbow animal with wings and a unicorn horn there. The thing that makes these toys potentially appealing, in my opinion, is that they choose safe and popular traits: sparkly horns and feathery wings, for the most part. Things that are easily marketable.

The thing with Firffels is that they combined animals with traits that are less immediately appealing. Image below from Ghost of the Doll.

Some of them are cute but the others miss the mark. Personally I like Shamel and Bertle (the plush version only tbh).

Worth pointing out is that the character illustrations do not match the toy designs. If you go back and watch the commercials included in the 5 minute promo video, you can see that the Bertle plush and action figure are brown and green rather than pink and blue, and that Shamel's hair is brown instead of purple. I saw varied photos of the Butterfrog plush: some were lighter green while others were darker. Could be an issue with differing cameras, but I don't know for certain. And then there's Elephonkey, who is the most inconsistent of the bunch:

The first image is the prototype toy as it appears in the commercial. It is grey and flesh colored, with odd looking plastic hair. The second image is from Ghost of the Doll, of how the Elephonkey action figure actually appeared in stores. Third is a photo of my Elephonkey plush. Compare it with the official character art...well, he's not my favorite design in any incarnation.

I think the toys in the commercials were prototypes that were changed to brighter colors so as to appeal more towards girls. In the 30 second plush commercial there are 4 girl actors and 1 boy actor, with the camera shots getting closer to and focusing more on the girls' faces, so it would make sense. In contrast, the action figure commercial features 1 girl and 2 boys, and most of the camera shots are of the kids' hands playing with the toys, giving off a more boyish, gender-neutral vibe. Classics of gendered marketing, am I right? lol. But I think the change was a good one. I wouldn't have picked up Shamel if I hadn't seen the purple hair, and I definitely would not like Bertle if he wasn't pink. It gives the toys more of a cohesive style, a unique identity, and they fit in more alongside the Wuzzles/Care Bears visuals with the vibrant, happy colors. There's more of a toy-like quality to them, which increases the cuddle-ability and inspires more of an urge to play.

Discovering and logging all this inconsistency has been pretty fun. But it makes me think that these toys were probably doomed by a chaotic, unorganized development process behind the scenes. And given that the book was published in '84 and toys hit the market in '85...the signs seem to point to production being rushed.

To be fair to Firffels, it was probably a little harder in the 80s to hit it big with kids. You had to be lucky, you had to have connections with the right distributors, you had to anticipate what is universally appealing to children--one of the most unpredictable audiences out there--and you had to pay to air your commercials during prime child viewing hours. These are all things that are still true, but we have the internet now and the advertising power of the internet is scary. Going viral on TikTok has the potential to skibidi someone's toilet career. iPad babies are growing up into grade school kids who throw birthday parties every year and get toys as gifts. We are living in an era where mass-producing cheap little polyester plushies and plastic figures is easier than ever and corporations have massive budgets to pump into kids' eyeballs through every advertising avenue they possibly can. They don't even need to come up with the designs anymore, they can just partner with whatever Roblox game is popular right now and capitalize on that. Maybe Othello Bach should get on Roblox.

Actually, it appears that Bach was given the short end of the stick by the time Firffels were pulled. Though her personal website is no longer up, her other website dedicated entirely to Whoever Heard of a Fird? has some info:

At the height of Fird's success, with over 100 licensees cramming the store shelves with children’s merchandise and an animation contract with Hanna-Barbera, the book and all the merchandise suddenly vanished from the shelves.  Although she lost the rights to several other published children’s books at the same time, Othello has never received a reasonable explanation for what happened.

So this passage actually clears something up for me. This whole time something that hasn't really lined up is that I had assumed that Othello Bach published the book first and then was approached for merchandising rights after the book sold well. I actually think now it's possible that from the get-go the book was written with the intention for it to become a worldwide sensation. Not so much Bach's intent, though. I have some professional familiarity with licensing and other such creative publishing contracts, particularly with books. Based on what I know, I believe it's more likely that Bach pitched her manuscript to Caedmon Publishing and Caedmon, seeking to create popular IP, was like, "this has potential and we are going to sign you on not only for the book, but for more." That might be why the character designs are so strange: they were trying too hard to get famous quick and had instructed the illustrator (it is regular practice for publishers to pair authors with an illustrator and given how much was on the line for this IP, Bach might not've had much input here) to design characters that could also become toys. It's unlikely that Michelle Dorman, a kids book illustrator, had product design skills needed to make standout, awesome toy designs. Not a knock on her, illustrators just have niches within their field that they're best at it. It's why you see so many illustrators complain about how often they get approached to design logos--that's not what we do, thank you.

What's sad is that clearly Bach had signed a bad contract that gave away most of her rights as the writer to the publisher. She openly says so above. My guess is that Caedmon told her they needed more rights than usual to be able to conduct so much merchandising (like signing contracts with Remco, much easier to do when you don't have a third party also involved), and because they were pouring so much effort into it on their end. Bach is just the writer, so while the original idea is hers, Caedmon would have matched her with an illustrator and taken charge of all the licensing and merchandising. For a publisher this is a huge commitment financially and personnel-wise, so it makes sense why they would have put forth a contract that gave them so many rights. If Firffels had become as popular as they'd hoped, they don't want to not own the IP. They would have poured all those resources into it and not be able to reap all the rewards because that pesky author would own it. It's almost like contracts like these are predatory and only serve the interests of the publisher. Almost like publishers are companies existing in a capitalistic system and therefore only serve profit, not people. Almost like companies will never truly have artist's best interests at heart, and if you are ever to sign a contract with a big publisher you need to have a good lawyer by your side.

It makes me so sad to read that they didn't even give her a reasonable explanation as to why everything was cancelled. She does not even appear to have any of the merchandise on hand, as all the photos on her website are from Ghost of the Doll. In hindsight we can guess, obviously, why the cancellation happened but I'm in the moment it was probably upsetting. It's still upsetting, given that she has included this in her website for the...revamped book!

However, like Fird, Othello refused to give up. For the next 20 years, she tried to regain the rights to her work. Entertainment attorneys assured her it would never happen.  They said, "It can't be done!" But... it could be done and Othello did it, regaining the rights back to all her work.

Yeah, so, I actually think this is the saddest part about the whole thing. She managed to get some of the rights back and republished the book with...new art...that looks so fucking BAD. Image from her website:

Sorry to this illustrator, but got damn. There is no sauce to this art whatsoever. It is unseasoned, not even salt and pepper. This looks like ass and would never fucking fly with any editor worth their chops. It took me ages to figure out that the long yellow curved line is Fird's tail. Like, this is so unbelievably sad to me. I don't even really like the original art a whole lot, but compared to this...

My informed guess as to what happened is that Bach lawyered up and fought. As we know, Caedmon is now owned by HarperCollins. I can't say for certain but there was probably some case to be made that Caedmon being sold breached the contract, or nullified parts of it, or perhaps the contract expired. It could even just be that HarperCollins didn't care about an old, unprofitable IP and granted Bach her rights back. There is also Remco to consider: they also hold some of the rights, but probably just for the merchandise? Given how prominently their logo is displayed on the toy tags, they might actually own a significant share. Perhaps they were happy not to have anything to do with the book so long as the merch rights weren't touched. I don't know! There's no info about it on the site and this stuff is usually under NDA.

So Bach got her rights back, but she's just the writer. She doesn't own any of the art, so in order to republish the book she had to hire a new illustrator. She likely did not have a huge budget for it, maybe even paying for it out of her pocket because the Choice Books logo she has in several spots on the Fird website appears to be for a distribute on demand service, in place of a traditional publisher.

As the writer, she also would not have gotten the rights to use the original audiobook, so she had one re-recorded. It also appears like she does not have the rights to the name "Firffels" either, as the only places it appears on the site are in photographs of merchandise and in titles specifically referring to the work that is still owned by Caedmon. She carefully refers to her own work as "Fird" for short or the book's full title, probably because she cannot legally imply that she owns or made anything else.

I dug into this thinking it would be a quick look at some strange, forgotten toys from a bygone era. Instead I found a story about how an artist can so easily be shafted by publishers. Everything always loops back around to workers' rights, it seems. Stories like this about shitty publishing contracts (see: Webtoon if you want to get into something current) still appear so often, man. It's depressing, and indicative that the publishing industry needs some reforming ASAP. Like, Illustrators, when are we getting a proper union?

But I'm glad Bach got her rights back and got her book republished within her lifetime. I'm sad she didn't have the budgets for a better illustrator. Sorry to bring that up again, I work as an illustrator irl and I have opinions about craft, lol. Also I just think that given how hard Bach had to fight, she deserved to have better art made. That being said, here's another link to her current website. There's not much there but what is there is a monument to a battle she fought and won, and is proud of.

The lack of detailed, clear, centralized documentation of these toys frustrates me. One of the most frustrating things about the internet for me is that there are few easily accessible, publicly available archives of toys--even for modern toys. I've had to use Amazon reviews and Ebay listings and broken online stores to decipher publication years. With this in mind I decided to do a write up and provide clearer pictures of the toys that I have (I'll take hi res pics in natural lighting too someday). Archives are important to me and the internet kinda sucks for it, I say as someone who started this blog for that purpose. If Tumblr goes down, so does everything I've posted here. As an artist who works primarily digitally, one of the scariest things is knowing that I'm laboring over an ephemeral body of work. It's just not going to exist for very long unless I print it out on archival materials. Data is not the same as a physical object. My Firffels have survived for 39 years but the digital art I draw every day is unlikely to last past 10 years because websites die and files get deleted.

I bought the Firffels from my thrift store thinking I'd resell them. I'm low income so I sell many of the things I thrift. I prefer to buy the older toys or the ones that need cleaning because it makes me feel better about being a reseller (I don't want to take away options from low income kids in my area, ya know?). But I'm putting in the labor to freshen them up and I'm putting in the effort to make unavailable toys available again, at least for one person. And I don't have a whole lot of shelf space to display the toys in my collection...but for now I think I'll keep them.

[thebrickinbrick]

Wherein Will Appear the Name of Enjolras's Mistress

Courfeyrac, seated on a paving-stone beside Enjolras, continued to insult the cannon, and each time that that gloomy cloud of projectiles which is called grape-shot passed overhead with its terrible sound he assailed it with a burst of irony.

“You are wearing out your lungs, poor, brutal, old fellow, you pain me, you are wasting your row. That’s not thunder, it’s a cough.”

And the bystanders laughed.

Courfeyrac and Bossuet, whose brave good humor increased with the peril, like Madame Scarron, replaced nourishment with pleasantry, and, as wine was lacking, they poured out gayety to all.

“I admire Enjolras,” said Bossuet. “His impassive temerity astounds me. He lives alone, which renders him a little sad, perhaps; Enjolras complains of his greatness, which binds him to widowhood. The rest of us have mistresses, more or less, who make us crazy, that is to say, brave. When a man is as much in love as a tiger, the least that he can do is to fight like a lion.

That is one way of taking our revenge for the capers that mesdames our grisettes play on us. Roland gets himself killed for Angélique; all our heroism comes from our women. A man without a woman is a pistol without a trigger; it is the woman that sets the man off. Well, Enjolras has no woman. He is not in love, and yet he manages to be intrepid. It is a thing unheard of that a man should be as cold as ice and as bold as fire.”

Enjolras did not appear to be listening, but had any one been near him, that person would have heard him mutter in a low voice: “Patria.”

Bossuet was still laughing when Courfeyrac exclaimed:

“News!”

And assuming the tone of an usher making an announcement, he added:

“My name is Eight-Pounder.”

In fact, a new personage had entered on the scene. This was a second piece of ordnance.

The artillery-men rapidly performed their manœuvres in force and placed this second piece in line with the first.

This outlined the catastrophe.

A few minutes later, the two pieces, rapidly served, were firing point-blank at the redoubt; the platoon firing of the line and of the soldiers from the suburbs sustained the artillery.

Another cannonade was audible at some distance. At the same time that the two guns were furiously attacking the redoubt from the Rue de la Chanvrerie, two other cannons, trained one from the Rue Saint-Denis, the other from the Rue Aubry-le-Boucher, were riddling the Saint-Merry barricade. The four cannons echoed each other mournfully.

The barking of these sombre dogs of war replied to each other.

One of the two pieces which was now battering the barricade on the Rue de la Chanvrerie was firing grape-shot, the other balls.

The piece which was firing balls was pointed a little high, and the aim was calculated so that the ball struck the extreme edge of the upper crest of the barricade, and crumbled the stone down upon the insurgents, mingled with bursts of grape-shot.

The object of this mode of firing was to drive the insurgents from the summit of the redoubt, and to compel them to gather close in the interior, that is to say, this announced the assault.

The combatants once driven from the crest of the barricade by balls, and from the windows of the cabaret by grape-shot, the attacking columns could venture into the street without being picked off, perhaps, even, without being seen, could briskly and suddenly scale the redoubt, as on the preceding evening, and, who knows? take it by surprise.

“It is absolutely necessary that the inconvenience of those guns should be diminished,” said Enjolras, and he shouted: “Fire on the artillery-men!”

All were ready. The barricade, which had long been silent, poured forth a desperate fire; seven or eight discharges followed, with a sort of rage and joy; the street was filled with blinding smoke, and, at the end of a few minutes, athwart this mist all streaked with flame, two thirds of the gunners could be distinguished lying beneath the wheels of the cannons. Those who were left standing continued to serve the pieces with severe tranquillity, but the fire had slackened.

“Things are going well now,” said Bossuet to Enjolras. “Success.”

Enjolras shook his head and replied:

“Another quarter of an hour of this success, and there will not be any cartridges left in the barricade.”

It appears that Gavroche overheard this remark.

[jestersloverre]

Weepe and Saskia

This detail in the 3.09 appendix caught my eye and I’ve been thinking about it since.

Now at first I thought the “she” referred to Kozma, because Weepe makes several clear references to Kozma throughout the 3.09 appendix. However…

This feels like a very specific piece of information to know about someone, could Weepe really have know Kozma that well? Further, the tone and tense of this scribble are different from the rest of his Kozma scribbles, which are far more sarcastic and even malevolently gleeful.

Which makes me wonder if the “she” actually refers to Saskia.

Having run a business together for four years, Weepe could easily have learned a lot of miscellaneous information about Saskia, such as her preferences in interior design.

While it isn’t explored very much on the show (yet), I do believe that thoughts and memories of Saskia creep up on Weepe when is isn’t expecting it. For instance, ordering curtains for his house, seeing the pattern that she likes and being reminded of her.

While Weepe is undeniably a twisted person who cannot maintain interpersonal relationships because of his selfishness, it is canon that he does, in his own way, care for Saskia and he cares about what she thinks. For instance,

- He screams her name when Imelda is torturing him.

- In 1.19 the narrators explicitly say that he has a soft spot for Saskia

- He almost cries as he is leaving the cabaret after confronting Saskia and locating his medical case.

-In 1.18 he is specifically horrified to learn that Saskia knows about his betrayal, as she was ‘never supposed to find out’.

I wonder how Weepe will react when he finds out that Saskia survived the tearror tsunami. Will he be relieved? will he be terrified that his betrayal wasn’t buried with her death?

How will Saskia feel when she sees Weepe’s physical state? What Imelda did and how she continues to use him? his isolation from what little community he had on midst?

Waiting for the heartbreak that will be the Moc Weepe- Saskia reunion.

[your-neighbor-in-the-northblue]

Supernovas in a Modern AU

➼ Word Count » 0.6k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ Genre » Modern AU

Officially, Apoo is a DJ, and he’ll go around to different parties and weddings to do his thing. One time he was invited to a church to play the piano and was never invited again. However, in his free time, he streams. He mostly plays My Singing Monsters, Just Dance, or Beat Saber VR, but he's always open to suggestions in the chat. He started writing his own music as well and has grown a pretty loyal following.

Bege still runs his Mafia business but is also the founder of one of the local shoe shops in the heart of the city. It's a nicer place that sells dress shoes and occasionally tuxedos. He always uses the place as an alibi or a cover-up to excuse his whereabouts whenever the cops come and question him and his boys.

Bonney owns and operates a small pizzeria located on the corner of the road. She hardly ever has any rude customers due to the place having a Waffle House type of reputation, girlie is always ready to throw down in the parking lot. And on the weekends, when her shop's not open, she'll go down to the local board game clubs and play Jenga with whoever's there.

X Drake joined the Military the second he got out of high school and never looked back. It always felt like the right decision for him, especially since his parents couldn't afford for him to go to college. Once he retired, however, he turned to zookeeping in the reptile exhibits. He loves his job and will go to Drake concerts whenever he has the money and time to go to one.

Urouge is the pastor at his church (and a regular at the clubs). Some are put off by him, whereas others find him to be comforting to confess to. He considers himself to be a man of the Lord, even if he frequents the cabaret clubs a tad too often.

Hawkins is, more often than not, operating his interior design business, but he does have a little voodoo shop on the side and will frequently read his tarot cards to people who walk in. He's also somewhat of a hit with the farmers as he makes them all scarecrows in August that help keep critters out of their crops.

Law is a traveling doctor who likes to help in areas that are in the midst of pandemics/epidemics. He always feels obligated to go to those places specifically. He always gives kids heart-shaped stickers whenever they've been treated by him. His reputation is very shrouded and some people consider him to be a modern grim reaper whenever he visits their country, blaming him for whatever illness that has spread.

Kid is an avid gun supporter and, as such, sells and makes them. He owns a shooting range and almost all of the Rage Rooms in the city. Whenever he's free, he and Kiler will go down to some of the nearby raves and party together.

Killer runs a pasta shop within Kid's shooting range. He's the one who usually deals with bad customers so that Kid doesn't get himself another lawsuit. He's also known for being the one to end all of the fights picked with Kid.

Blackbeard is one of those really cocky, know-it-all museum employees who make people feel dumb whenever they ask a question. He gambles a lot, has limited knowledge of most of the stuff in his exhibits, and probably deals crack cocaine with people in the alleyways.

[postcard-from-the-past]

Interior of the Lerma Cabaret in Manila, Philippines

American vintage postcard

[simtleman]

El Dorado Cabaret & Casino (Download Tray Files & CC)

Yes, I'm back to playing TS4 and that means I'm back to building. I created a sim called Octavia who used to be an exotic dancer (until she married money and started the black widow challenge), so I needed to have a Generic lot that worked as a cabaret/casino for gameplay purposes and I decided to build it from scratch. I'm now sharing it with you guys in case you also need something similar for your vintage 1920s/30s/40s save file.

The exterior is obviously inspired by the infamous El Dorado Berlin while the interior I kinda reimagined myself. Here are some screenshots:

Tickets counter:

Main lounge:

Stage area:

Showgirl's dressing room:

Sky view:

Before you go ahead and download it into your game, a few IMPORTANT disclaimers:

The lot is a 30x20. I built it on Magnolia Promenade.

I used items from a few expansions and packs (listed below), so if you don't own them those items might be replaced with others.

This lot is designed to work as a Stripclub, therefore you'll be needing the Wicked Whims mod in order to obtain the pole and have your sims being able to dance for money.

Like all my builds, this is a heavily CC based lot. If you don't have a powerful PC, it might get laggy while trying to play with it.

Regarding the CC, I do not own nor take credit from any item included within this lot. All credit goes to their amazing creators.

The .ZIP file (2.76 GB) includes two folders: one for the Tray Files and another one with all the CC. I'm 100% sure all the CC I used is already public for everyone; if it's not, it's been definitely longer than three weeks since it has all been in my game and you (the CC creator) shouldn't be putting content behind permanent paywalls to begin with ;)

I did use bb.moveobjects on while building and have playtested it, so it should be fully functional. Let me know if otherwise.

Like I said before, the lot is currently set as Generic so I could turn it into a Stripclub with Wicked Whims and have my burlesque sims make some simoleons while dancing. Wicked Whims is not included within the CC folder, you'll have to download it and install it yourself.

That's all for me! This is only the second piece of content I share for others to download, so if you run into any kind of issues do not hesitate to let me know and I'll try to help best I can :)

If you do like it, please make sure to like this post (heck, maybe even comment on it if you feel like it!) and please, please, PLEASE do tag me on your screenshots if you share them here on Tumblr. I'd love to see what you guys make with it!

Download: Mediafire

Enjoy ♡

[captainofthetidesbreath]

I'm listening to the latest episode of midst and i'm *vibrating* out of my skin rn. I love hearing spahr's internal narration and how the politics of the trust works and i'm just ahhhhhh

MOOD. HUGE SAME. It really is so fun having Spahr has a major point of view character now! I agree.

I remember back when I took a bit of a break between seasons one and two, I said a bit about how interesting Spahr is throughout season one because he was not afforded a lot of interiority except for a select moments and then we don't hear what's actually inside his head until 1.18 (the cabaret scene), then we start easing into his thoughts throughout 1.19.

Season two establishes him as one of the major secondary point of view characters, and his is a fun one. Hearing his observations on how the Trust is supposed to work is just so good, and I really also enjoy the pervasive sense of dread as he feels the puppet strings and the walls closing in and noticing the sheer size of the rat maze (not to mix all my metaphors). It's also been a real delight to get to really SEE that mess the narrator's allude to in there and see just how starkly it contrasts against how he publicly performs.

I think getting his perspective has been just SO fascinating narratively and has been such a fun addition to the point of view roster, especially as a character who so deeply and closely mirrors and parallels Phineas. (But that's a whole other topic entirely.) I'm so excited for where he's going.

[porcelain-crow]

Barbie Must Have Bullshit Her Resume

By:zedo

Ok, so we all know Barbie as the do-all girl, what hasn't she done? (The answer to that is surprisingly alot)

But the real question is, how has she managed to accomplish so much by the age of 65? Well I'm here to tell you she fuckibg lied. I did the math, I compiled a list of jobs and hobbies she has had(albeit incomplete) and its impossible.

Below is a compiled list of (most of) barbies jobs that require training/schooling:

Fashion designer- 3 years

Nurse-2 years(minimum)

Astronaut-10 years(6 years schooling, 2 years experience, 2 years bt)

Fashion editor-4 years

Fashion model-1 year

Teacher- 5 years

Veterinarian-4 years

Travel agent- 4 years roughly

Business exectuive- 3 years

Surgeon- 4 years school + 5 year residency

Optometrist- 8 years

Dentist- 8 years

Pediatric doctor-4 years

Pilot-9 month's 

In the air force(military pilot)-4 years

Detective-4 years

Makeuo artist/hair stylist- 1 year

Chef- 3 years

Architect-3 years

Firefighter-2 years

Olympic skiier and gymnast,Figure skater -(1 years worth of trianing)

Train conductors - 1 year

Movie producer- 4 years

Computer engineer- 4 years

Marine bilogist- 6 year

Palentologist- 6 years

Zookeeper- 6 years

Baker-3 years

Film director - 4 years

Game developer- 4 years

Scientist(chemist)-4 years

Robotic engineer- 7 years

Astrophysisit- 6 years

Aircraft engineer- 7 years

Entomologist- 4 years

Judge- 10 years

Interior designer - 4 years

Cinservation scientist-  5 years

Microbiologist - 4 years

Flight attendant-10 weeks

Pet groomer-12 weeks

Police officer- 6 months

(While compiling this list, I also chose the bare minimum required amount of schooling for each job, but knowing Barbie, she would not have done the bare minimum)

If you compile the numbers, you reach a bare minimum of 203 years of school/training.

So Barbie could not have possibly gone to school for every job she has had, so she must have bullshit a few things somewhere, as this does not include the time she may have worked in these jobs once finally getting to that point.

This also leaves the question of how does she have time for her long list of hobbies, such as:

Tennis

Was also a rock star and rapper

Unicef ambassador

Actress

Scuba diver

Circus performer

Superhero

Baseball

Matador/bull fighter

Bowling

?RAN FOR PRESIDENT?

Cheerleading

Cabaret dancer

Artist

Soccer coach

Rides horses

Race car driver

Snow boards

Track and feild

Magician

Animal rescue

Martial arts

Basket ball

Beekeeping

Farming

Golfing

Boxing

Hockey

Tooth fairy

Volleyball

Crime??(I'm serious she was a burglar)

So in reality, Barbie is a liar and a fake.