#by the way you can fucking have a cat with wings and human features and teleporting powers i dont care

[kitkinnie]

this is my illegal chimereon she loves among us and her name is melon. show me your offbrands/illegals right now i love to see em and i Should make more (i have a grem2 concept and i think having a primagen would be fun)

closed species are so funny like what if i just make a design . will you fucking stop me? ooooOOoooo ill make a primagen oooOOoO THE PENCIL IS ON MY PAAAAPER OOOOoooOoOOo

[sonicasura]

Biological Complications of a Half Troll

I just realized that Jim might've bitten way more than he could chew with becoming a half troll. Especially when you consider how shoddy the bath bomb Merlin made was. Like Jim can't even walk in sunlight without getting burned by the sun despite his human half. So biological angst ahoy!

Let's start with his age. He's around 16 so he still has a bit of growing to do as a human. Now here comes the troll side of the issue. 16 years old is literally still a baby for the species since they age more slower than humans.

Jim is now half of both. Would his growing rate remain the same or get fucked up from the troll side? Jim can potentially grow like a bloody bamboo as you can't forget how big trolls can get. Also his species is unidentified so yikes.

Like imagine turning seventeen throws you an extra three ft. Also it doesn't happen normally since the magical bath bomb is shoddy as fuck. Jim just walking under a door one day only to suddenly grow a few feet and put a hole through the roof with his horns.

Next is the appetite. You know Jim might need more food since he's now half troll. Experimenting with what the young man can eat is probably quite common. I won't be surprised if Jim craves a lot of raw meat as trolls do feed on animals. Possums, cats, HUMANS, etc. Imagine Jim just going feral and tries to eat whatever he can get his hands on from hunger. Fucking yikes.

I can't forget the dysphoria he must have either. Jim was shorter than his mother as human and is now a foot taller than her. No one could handle such a change so easily. Jim probably bumped his head or got himself stuck somewhere cause he unconsciously thinks he's still human size.

Next is features. I won't be surprised if Jim might get more than just stone skin and horns. A lot of people headcanon that he might have a tail under his armor since the Eclipse Armor covers his whole body.

Imagine what else might be hidden or he could potentially have as he ages because his troll half is still unknown. Motherfucker can possibly get extra limbs such as arms maybe even wings. Imagine poor Jim waking up to find out his extra eyes and wings.

Or am I being just a sadist?

[solaneceae]

banquet

a team bolas oneshot (read on ao3) tw: cannibalism, gore (team bolas things indeed)

Purgatory-induced madness is like the tide. Sometimes it rushes in, licking at their feet and drowning their reflection in off-white seafoam, stripping them of all sense of self.  Time stretches and distorts time like a rubber band, minutes feeling like hours and hours like seconds.

The first time it happens, they all come out of it shaky and horrified, with the taste of foreign, fresh blood on their tongue and tricolored death messages filling the global chat, along with many interrogation points and ‘what the fuck is wrong with red team’ and ‘run the fuck away dont engage’ and ‘they dont have shit its not worth it’. They’re also completely alone, stuck in unfamiliar caves or forests, and the lack of the others, pack, flock, mine quickly drives them to force themselves into respawn, uncaring of the gear and materials they’ll lose.

From that moment on, they realise they might have a problem. So they do tests, and they learn that isolation is a no-no, because Cellbit starts to yowl for them after a few minutes of them being out of sight. The birds all begin to stress-pluck and over-groom their wings after about twenty minutes of being left alone, Foolish digs a circle into the coarse dirt as he paces and paces like a goldfish in a bowl (“Did you know, that the fish—” “Baghera. Baghera, I love and adore you, but I will kill you and eat your leg like it’s confit, fuck the ground rules.”) and Slime’s glitching reaches a point where he can’t even stand or communicate anymore.

So, when they all reunite and  press their sides together for comfort, pawing at their arms and faces in a cacophony of shaky trills (avians and feline and slime hybrids alike), they decide they need a tether. And the tether is each other.

Phil thinks that the place is messing with their code in a way Quesadilla didn’t, something about mob instincts being unlocked. Cellbit huffs but stops denying the allegations, because you don’t actually need to show much mob features to qualify as hybrid, apparently. Everything feels almost foreign now, a long-dormant part of their brain now active and flooding their minds with dumb shit like pack mentality, which is made a lot worse by the sheer amount of trauma they’ve just went through as a unit. In short, they’re well and truly fucked, because the other teams have demons and humans and those do a hell of a lot better in high-stress situations like these than hybrids. Flock? Baghera quacks, a sound she’s never done before. Flock? 

Flock, Jaiden trills back with a rustling of her wings. Those two are the most jumpy of them all, prey instincts rendering them prone to run and startle. Flock, safe, Phil crows at them, his own fucked up wings coming to brush against theirs. Yesyes. Cellbit approaches, making himself smaller (cat on the prowl, he doesn’t want to scare them off, tries, tries) and bumping his head against Phil’s shoulder. “Okay?” he asks, and if he could purr right now he probably would be. Phil smiles. “Yeah. We’re okay.”

Things get a bit better after that. The madness still creeps in, but they feel more in control, more grounded when they’re in a group. They get used to it, the guilt and horror ebbing away. Also, it makes them harder to pick out, makes kills easier. It works, Blue and Green learn to avoid them, because they don’t bother to armor up or stack up on anything worthwhile, but they can just keep reviving and coming after the invading-trespassing enemy, again and again, until they wear them down with sheer numbers and ferocity. They don’t even loot them, because they just. Don’t. Care.

All they know is survival, and the pack-flock. All of them, together.

Cellbit learns the taste of every one of them. Bad’s blood is foul, bitter and sour with soul corruption, so they leave his corpses alone. Fit’s arm is tough, pure lean muscle and not an ounce of fat. (Étoiles’ taste he’s curious about, but the guy never engages with them. Says it’s not fun. Fair enough.) He tears out a strip of flesh out of Tubbo’s leg, and Philza shoots him a disapproving look. “You shouldn’t eat that shit raw, mate,” the crow chastises him, still somehow able to father them around even in the throes of bloodlust. “You’re gonna catch some nasty stuff.”

(Cellbit remembers seeing Philza swoop in from above, flightless but still as graceful and deadly as he imagines an Angel of Death to be. He remembers the crow, eyes wide and dark-too-dark, hands and wrists tainted black by Death-touch as his talons rip and tear through hair and armor and tender, tender flesh. He remembers thinking how lucky he was to have Phil here, with them. Pack. Pack.)

He spots Jaiden eagerly ripping out tender livers and chewy hearts from still-warm chest cavities, passing them over to Baghera who carries them to the hidden coldbox, feathers now permanently dyed red no matter how much she scrubs. She’s not their most efficient fighter, what with the lack of talons or claws or teeth and all, but she’s insanely good at building and organising their shit.

(Carré drops by sometimes, and they all cheer for his presence. But he never stays for long, unnerved by their dynamic and by the mad glint in their eyes. None of them blame him, they’re just grateful he still sticks around. And he does join the occasional sleep pile, which is very nice because his onesie is warm and soft.)

“Hey Cellbit?”

He hums, wiping blood off his cheek. Foolish grins down at him, handing him a slab of juicy-looking meat. “Gift!”

The detective (was he even still that? Or just a murderer?) blinks, slow. “You don’t want it?”

“Nah,” the totem shrugs. “Enemy corpses are fine in a pinch, but I’m more of a fish guy and I got enough right how.”

“Mmh. Thanks.”

He takes the offering in both hands, blood oozing out of the piece as he tears into it ravenously. It’s a nice cut, marbled with fat, but not enough to make it sit too heavily on his stomach. “Dude, gross,” Slime grimaces at his right, glasses and shirt splattered with blood. His arm glitches, his next words jumbled and sluggish with code corruption. “At least give it a lil’ sear, lil’ mallard reaction on both sides, kill the germs and shit.”

“You’re so american, Charlie,” Baghera pipes up from behind them, washing her wings in the stream. They all know it won’t get rid of the stains. “You guys would wash your food with bleach if you could. I should make a steak tartare for you one day, you’ll see.”

“Yerk. Hard pass.”

“You mean hard like the meat you overcook?”

“Fuck you, Baghera.”

She laughs, airy and a little too loud. “You love me.”

Jaiden chirps as she nuzzles into her side, flock, flock, and the other gives her a ducky kiss on the back of her head. Flock. “I want in on that,” Slime gets up to join the two birds on the sand, and Jaiden pulls him down for an impromptu preening session, right there, between the still cooling bodies of their foes. “Bro, we are so fucked up,” Phil cackles, half-disbelief half-manic energy.

“No shit, I’m wearing Pierre’s entrails as a stylish scarf right now,” Foolish grins, shark-like. “We’re kinda past that. Gotta say, I haven’t had this much fun in centuries.”

“Oh shit, Baghera look he’s dropping some juicy lore right now, write that down.”

“Foolish lore, yeaaaaaah.”

“Is this lore? Are we loreing right now, guys?”

And it’s all so strangely domestic amongst all the blood and viscera, it makes Cellbit want to laugh. To think that those same people would have probably thrown him in jail for killing those workers just a few days ago, and now here they were. Eagerly killing and gutting, all for each other.

(They weren’t leaving Purgatory with their sanity intact, or their other relationships for that matter. But at least they would have each other.)

[unknown-lifeform]

It's interesting that the traits Jenova-infected humans have don't seem to line up exactly with Jenova herself. While she seems to have something resembling wings in the mutated forms she takes during the various fights, they are very far from the feathered, bird-like wings of Sephiroth, Genesis, or Angeal. Plus, her eyes aren't too similar to Sephiroth's either, she doesn't seem to have the same pupils

Now the thing I'm thinking about is, humans don't have genes to make feathers. Mammals in general don't have those genes. Which means, growing feathered wings isn't, say, some hidden gene gets kicked into overdrive. That can explain wing growth, but feather growth has to come entirely from a gene passed from Jenova to the human subject

Jenova herself doesn't have feathers, and if we want to be nitpicky about it it would be kind of weird for an alien lifeform to have genes that perfectly mimic those of regular birds. But Jenova can absorb genes from creatures she has infected. I don't know if it was ever specified, but I do think her humanoid form should be due to her having absorbed Ancient DNA and disguised herself as one, rather than her intrinsically being humanoid. Which, if Jenova DNA is some kind of hybrid mess including Ancient DNA, then technically Sephiroth himself has some traces of Ancient DNA, which is ironic in a way that people never really point out, but I'm digressing

What I'm talking about is that the wings may be due to Jenova having absorbed the DNA of birds, and those genes having partially been transferred down to Sephiroth et al. Aftr all, Jenova wanted to fuck over the whole Planet, not just Ancients. Plus birds would be a convenient thing to infect, since they fly and can further spread the Jenova infection

Which leads to the question, how much of the traits Jenova shows are intrinsically her own, and how many are due to the expression of genes she has stolen from this or that creature? I mean, the nipple eye is probably her own doing, but say the tentacles. Is she an actual legit tentacle alien, or did she absorb like a lot of squids at some point and decided she liked the limbs? On one hand, tentacles are a general enough features for her to have developed them without external input, but she could have also taken them. Or maybe powered them up, they were something she already had and they kind of multiplied after she started absorbing some creatures

With the key point of this being. Whatever genes Jenova passes, not all of them manifest. The bird genes manifest well enough, in Sephiroth which we could call a high content Jenova hybrid you also get the eyes from cats or whatever other animal she found with those pupils. The tentacle genes apparently work less often. But if she had say some cephalopod genes somewhere, they could maybe show up. And basically imagine if Sephiroth didn't have cat eyes but horizontal pupils octopus style would that be weird or what

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Dragon-ogre swap Shrek 2 AU (kind of)

"I'm gonna pet it" dude gets chosen as the sacrifice for the dragon, ends up befriending it instead

Outcast villager turned human sacrifice Kokichi x dragon Shuichi

The dragon turns into a prince if you give it a forehead kiss

Until that he's like a particularly large cat but cats tend to have kissable foreheads so

And somebody had petting plans anyway - it doesn't take long

But it's the monster loving season so let's say he keeps some features in the otherwise human form, horns, claws, some patches of scales, maybe wings but weaker than in full dragon form

He's a cursed royal like Fiona... exactly like that.

The curse gets lifted with the power of love, the prince is now permanently a dragon

(one of the pitters asked what he did to get cursed) More like what his parents did to get their child cursed

Plot of Shrek 2 ensues except Kokichi who's already human to begin with wants to be turned into a dragon

For more similarities Iruma can be the talking donkey ig but they don't have anything like the first movie in their story so idk how Kokichi meets her

(puss in the boots) I know he was going to kill Shrek at first but he ends up on his side and he's charming so I was thinking Rantaro? Can't see Maki in that role

Since we swapped ogres with dragons it means Miu gets a giant ogre wife, right? (Kirumi was suggested for that role, as an unusual ogre that's really gentle and cares about hygiene. But this is an opening for whoever you want to put there tbh, background ship privilege)

Tsumugi as the witch

but there's no Prince Charming (unless.... dare I say Kaede? that's probably rude to her.) Shuichi's parents suck all the way and he doesn't try to reunite with them so they can't try to set him up

instead of a prince, let's say there's a dumb knight that Tsumugi has at her disposal, she sends Kaito "to slay a dragon that terrorizes the land" a.k.a. fucking kill Kokichi for stealing a potion from her, petty shit is enough of a motive for her

Kaito fails miserably, it was enough to spook him, but he also happily lies & tells heroic stories of how he has slain the dragon

[mercy-mercie-mercymorn]

silly little high fantasy au for my urban fantasy witches :D

💕more brain rot under the cut💕

hayden: a silly quirky guy up to silly quirky exploits. she flirts with the Big City's duchess and plays the role of a dashing ne'er-do-well spectacularly. most people in the Big City don't know she's a witch---and she likes to keep it that way (she makes enemies). i gave her a high fantasy-ized outfit and slapped a cloak on top.

scarlet (in my notes i wrote "teehee, scarlet witch"): a witch in a normal town. she spends her time treating colds and hearing tall tales from the local kids. her closest confidant is cynthia, the only witch she can really relate to. most of her look is inspired by victorian era fashion, with a touch of howl for funsies.

cynthia: a vigilante of sorts. she's far more powerful than she seems, and not only is her boob window there for looks, it's also there to show her magically glowing heart (her FUCK OFF feature). no one knows how old she is, but she's far too nosy to become an ancient witch in a forest somewhere. mostly just copied how i normally draw her, with some neat earrings and a imposing silhouette added.

spica: is she human? is she not human? no one knows and she makes everyone uncomfortable. with a Traumatic Fantasy Backstory and a big ol spear, one thing's for sure: you should stay on her good side. she changed the most from her og design because teehee! i ran out of ideas <3 i just think it's funny to have an ominous lady with a thousand yard stare and a large weapon.

xiao-hong: the duchess is obviously not human, but she wants to keep the "witch" part of her identity on the DL. in many ways, she is the gay elsa that elsa could never be. and also with fire :) her and hayden smooch normally so i thought it would be cute to have them smooch but in a gay high fantasy way. she got a cool dress i saw on here and the wings like the ukranian lady from [beauty pagent i can't remember]. badass wings.

brigitte: she lives in a small village and she likes it that way. her best friend is her cat, leonardo. she is small, mean, and angry, and i love that for her tbh. she and xiao have a book club. for her she's obv more of a typical medieval farm girl, plus some cool face paint (that feels weird to call it, but it is that) inspired a bit by typical fantasy war paint and a bit by a pair of neat slavic gloves i saw on here.

scarlet recruited them all into a coven of sorts, where they gossip (scarlet and cynthia), flirt (hayden and xiao), and be threatening (spica and brigitte, bless her heart).

anyways. if you read all that ur a real one. their urban fantasy backstories are frankly more batshit than these ones, but that's because the ideas for most of em have been around since i was in middle school and i've just run with it. but that's a spiel for another time.

[brick-a-doodle-do]

Hmmmmmmmmm

Irza definitely has a temper but he also has the "I really don't care" behavior. If he caught Vara he probably wouldn't hurt the cat, he'd be more confused bc fairies exist in that world but fairies are actually treated horribly and used in potions.....he'd wonder why a wingless fairy (which isn't too strange since some will just have wings taken and then be tossed aside...) has cat features and is even in his house. But that's it the borrower was actually living in his house.—There's also the chance he finds the borrower outside, which would mainly end with him staring and walking away unless an accident got Vara into a pocket or bag...

And if he was caught? Irza wouldn't touch it, he'd use his shadows and just trap their legs in place. Then you'd have to get through his questioning bc there's no way he wouldn't be suspicious of a tiny person in his house

Some thoughts I had for aus would mainly be Irza as the giant bc yes...and I'd make several different ones, I love first meetings and I can't decide which one is better so I'll use em all. Vara would be the gentlest giant but he'd get his hands really chewed on by Irza, that guy won't change at all! The ideas go from doing crossovers to my fairy story, borrower, and even just someone shrinking them. There's so many powers in their world, who's to say someone can't change the sizes of things?

And I didn't even realize the nom compatible thing with Irza until recently

Vara finding tiny little villain Voidshire instead of a fight and having to argue with himself over whether to turn him in or help him...btw tho bc of Vara's mixed races he has huge cat instincts so that would be possible for like mouthplay but probably not anything more, you just gotta be careful bc he reacts to everyone like that...but he's so nice he catches bugs and mice and releases every one outside. Irzayn hates mice bc of them eating his homework the one time (which was just a really funny canon thing), but this also means if he doesn't see that the borrower is humanoid he could very well kill them by impulse

Song that fits Vara: Luke Bryan—Most people are good

We all love the sweet Varazae cat

And if that's what you think~~ Ezephr would say thank for mwahahaha (there is such a deep reason that mixes all of the above into that answer bc he'd be smiling while being killed and thanking his killer)

okay okay you got me to read it and of course now i have to answer

whaa fairies exist?? elaborate?? what purpose do they serve??? also in and case i love that they do bc i can imagine vara being pretty lost if irza ever addresses his confusion- (as a borrower, would vara know about fairies?)

OOO tinies falling into bags is the BESTTTTT (btw becky if you see this, you somehow always manage to stroll right down my alley every single time with your fics!!! how do you do that?? it's so cool >:DDD or. new theory. you writing the fics makes the trope automatically top tier because you wrote it :00)

AHHHH i loveeeeee the shadow thing oh my GOD that would be so confusing for vara and AJJFSAJSDJ ksdkasdasdasdsads multiple hands in g/t is rarely touched but i think it's pretty cool- i mean i know it's not directly irza's hands but STILL that concept is just /pos to me :D

ah yes the good ol' interrogating a terrified borrower :D <3

yesss g!irza >:3c

AHHH these ideas are all so lovely and LMAO for irza eating vara's fingers AJVDS i bet he'd try and get vara's claws to use for personal use like a new and improved hook JDSJ (the only thing on my mind when i type that is the line from 30 rock "gimmie your fingernails!" "no!" LMAOAOO)

i like the lane of someone having sizeshifting powers. maybe some person is tired of their hero/villain bickering and just shrink one of them to force them to stop and focus on something else FDLDSJAJA

aw everyone just finds all the right g/t buttons for me- fucking tinies helping their human? FUCK YEAH!!!

LMAO they ate his homework??? 😭😭 that is genuinely the best thing i have heard about this au ever- it's the useless bit of canon that makes my brain go brrrrrr like that thing with curiositybur will never fail to make me happy. the fact that serenityinnit just walks around staring at the world like he's never seen it before (which he hasn't) is FUNNY and USELESS but the BEST

ooooooo vara's gotta run off of reflexes then, let's hope he survives!

OO that's a cool song! usually country isn't my jam (is that considered country?) but that is an exception fs!

yesyesyeys beloved catboy

and hmhmhhmhmmhmhmmhhmmhm love him smiling, i strive to be ezephr when i'm being killed :D

[amethystaurawriting]

Creature Feature Friday: Demons! (a couple days late)

(picture credit: https://unsplash.com/@mateuszklein )

[ I'm not saying black cats are demons, I just imagine Amadeus' eyes being that colour ]

If there was ever a moment to run a red light, Eric was certain that being chased by a demon from hell was that moment.

Liam, as he had coined himself upon entering the mortal world, had stolen what looked like a car from the 1970s, painted in a bright violet that was straight out of Back to the Future. It had wings, a blackened windscreen and two massive headlights which made Eric feel as if he were being hunted by a monster.

He was, actually, but that was beside the point.

“We need to lose him before he flips this car, do something!”

“I ran a red light, what else do you want from me?!”

“Any pussy could run a red light, you little weasel, and it hasn’t made a damn bit of difference, has it?!”

“Maybe if I didn’t have a narcissistic asshole of a demon in my head, I’d be able to focus on losing the narcissistic asshole of a demon who’s trying to run me off the road!”

Amadeus went quiet for a moment and Eric thought he might have pissed him off so much he just disappeared, but no such luck was on his side.

“Turn right!”

“There’s no fucking road on the right!”

“Would you rather end up in hell again with that asshole and no protections from yours truly? Cause that’s what’s about to happen. Turn right!”

Eric looked in the rear view mirror to find Liam close than he had been a minute ago, the headlights brighter in his eyes as he rolled them and then slammed on the brakes, swerving into the field of sheep who moved out of the way quickly at the sight of an oncoming car.

“Happy now?”

“Oh, you can actually listen to advice now, that’s new.”

“Oh fuck off, it’s your fault he’s fucking chasing us in the first place!”

“I haven’t done a single thing to Liam in my life, he must be chasing you. He hates humans.”

“He was never interested in me until you came to this realm and jumped into my body.”

“That’s a coincidence, he’s clearly after you. Have we lost him?”

Eric glanced at the mirror to find it devoid of violet cars intent on murder.

“He’s gone.”

“Good, now turn left up here.”

“If you give me one more direction, Deus-”

“I’m trying to help you!”

“You’re trying to backseat drive.”

“Well I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t such a shit driver.”

“Don’t have roads in Hell, how would you know what a shit driver is.”

“I think running a red light is pretty self explanatory, Eric.”

As Eric took the left turn Amadeus suggested, more headlights came into view. More bloody demons.

“I suppose you haven’t pissed off any of these demons either.”

“Perhaps we shouldn’t have turned left.”

also featured on Instagram @amethystaurawriting

[arcanadreams]

That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral

hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours

also i’m only doing the brothers because any more than that and i’d have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom

Lucifer:

You and Lucifer go viral on Asmo’s Devilgram story!

You’re in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.

Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!

About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a “MAMMOOOOOON” and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.

He opens his mouth, presumably to tell y’all to shut the fuck up, but then there’s a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the song’s vocalist and he freezes.

Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.

Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.

Lucifer’s face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.

Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, “No, you aren’t. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,” and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.

Screenshots of Lucifer’s heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. “Get you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MC” and “me at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wings” posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)

Mammon:

Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmo’s Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?) 

He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I don’t know how you fell for it. But hey, they say “idiots in love” for a reason, so...

You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, he’s chillin, you’re on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.

The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.

“No, Asmo,” you say. “Mammon and I don’t use pet names for each other.” Now that’s just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.

“Really? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~” 

You sigh in response to Asmo’s teasing. “Okay, he has a lot for me but I’m just not much of a pet name person, y’know?” The rest of the exchange goes like this:

“Oh, I totally get it.” *pause* “Hey MC, what do human world bees make again?”

“Honey.”

Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.

“Yeah, babe?” he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-

Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (”MAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU” “W-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!”)

Leviathan:

Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.

You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Levi’s weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams. 

It’s completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but he’s the avatar of envy after all. He doesn’t like sharing his partner, even if it’s with random strangers who have no real access to you.

However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didn’t realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasn’t unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.

Then you notice his screen. Oh! “Hi chat!” You wave, setting Levi’s food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. “M-MC!” He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.

Honestly, they’d meme the fuck out of him if it weren’t for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!

Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that. 

Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when you’re pampering him like that.

You start answering chat’s questions about you while he’s chewing so he can’t tell you to stop LMAO-

You’re a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Levi’s account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.

Satan:

There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way. 

Satan does have a Devilgram, but it’s basically a white woman’s Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless you’re a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.

However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. They’d always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism. 

This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesn’t really get why but you both joke that it’s because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.

You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.

The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, you’re scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.

“I’m quoting here, Satan: ‘her breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.’ I’M SORRY?? THAT ISN’T HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?” 

(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)

Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-

When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGS’ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.

Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on. 

Asmodeus:

I’m gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.

However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.

Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guys’ ‘Nail Nites,’ as you call them.

You’re both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and there’s a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.

A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.

“’What colors do you think best describe each other?’ Ooo, that’s a good one, chat!” Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be  careful of his nails.

Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with “Hmm...probably yellow or orange.”

“Can I ask why, darling?” Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesn’t wear them often so he’s wondering about your thought process. 

“Well, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. You’re always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.”

Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care. 

Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.

Beelzebub:

Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet. 

It’s a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beel’s team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.

So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention. 

You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; you’re fine.)

A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, there’s a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:

You slide off the railing, landing right in Beel’s waiting arms bridal style. You’ve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him it’s because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.

Soft boy’s chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.

The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.

The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.

Belphegor:

If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Lucifer’s posts but that’s neither here nor there-)

Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmo’s Devilgram. 

Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.

So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. I’m talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place. 

And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.

So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks they’re adorable.

Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like “The things we do for love <3″.

They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly. 

The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.

“If my girl doesn’t climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she don’t love me.” “Get yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.” Etc etc...Belphie doesn’t give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.

[absolutepokemontrash]

Hi! So, I absolutely love your series where the MC is the kid of Lucifer, and I was wondering if I could request that with Diavolo and Barbatos? •v•

:0 you definitely can! Right now I’m just doing Diavolo, but Barb’s will be up sometime soon!

MC is Half Demon and Oh Shit They’re Diavolo’s Kid-

Diavolo wasn’t exactly what one would expect of the prince of Hell, I mean, he was suppressing the urge to bounce in his seat from pure excitement. I mean, his exchange program was starting! Humans, demons, and angels, all together, his dream was coming true.

All that was left was for the student to arrive, the portal opened, and the human fell flat on their back. Oof, maybe Diavolo should have set up some kind of landing zone filled with pillows. No matter! The human was-

…

What peculiar eyes this human had…

Oh… oh dear…

Dad-volo

The MC was his child, no question about it. This was… very unexpected. Well, the entire assembly hall was completely quiet, and the kid looked like they were getting impatient.

“HEY! Mind telling me what the hell is going on?!”

After that, Diavolo launches into his explanation, also the explanation that he’s definitely this kid’s dad. Kid was not impressed, they tried to square up with Diavolo and Lucifer had never been more confused as to what to do.

Well, the moment MC sprouted wings and launched themselves at Diavolo, Dia caught them with one hand and continued speaking like nothing happened.

MC, please calm down… Diavolo didn’t know they existed, let him make it up to them! They’re going to stay at the Demon Lord’s Castle! Dia’s going to be a good dad!

“This feels like the plot to the world’s most messed up fairytale.” MC jammed their hands into their pockets and grumbled. “I get sucked into hell and find out I’m royalty there. Great.”

Diavolo managed to smile and awkwardly reach out to give them a pat on the head, then retracted his hand after the kid shot him a glare. “Well, it’s not a very traditional fairytale, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy your time here.”

“Mm, sure.” MC mumbled.

Okay, so his child wasn’t that enthusiastic about the exchange program, but Diavolo was sure they’d come around.

Dia tried everything he could possibly think of to get his kid to both like him and enjoy their time as an exchange student. A lot of things had… mixed results.

Also, legally recognizing MC as his child and legitimizing them caused a big stink amongst the nobles who were opposed to the exchange program to begin with. So MC then had to deal with a few assassins. Wonderful. Fantastic. Show stopping. Dia, be a good dad and comfort your angsty murder target- I MEAN preteen.

They do manage to build a good relationship fairly quickly despite their less than stellar first impressions, and Diavolo made them a promise that he knew he wouldn’t ever break: he would let them live as normal a childhood as possible.

This means that MC gets to do all the normal kid stuff that Diavolo wasn’t allowed to do. It honestly works out great for everyone. MC gets to live their life, Diavolo gets the satisfaction of knowing that his kid’s having fun, and Barbatos doesn’t need to worry about MC causing chaos in the castle.

Man… does this kid’s magic potential scare the shit out of everyone though…

Tired Uncle Lucifer

No. This has to be a violation of his worker rights. It cannot be legal for him to be this stressed.

He knew this exchange program was a bad idea. LUCIFER FUCKING KNEW IT. This kid was judging him. Why did he suddenly feel self conscious about every single one of his features? This child was picking him apart and they hadn’t even said anything!

He confiscated Asmo’s phone immediately, this was a matter of national security! Satan’s too! Beel as- oh shit Lucifer may have to give Beel the heimlich maneuver, then take his phone.

When all the brothers eventually got back to the HOL, they were greeted with Mammon getting shaken down by Levi.

“Lucifer! Ya won’t believe this! Levi- what’s wrong with you?” “The exchange student is Diavolo’s child.” “What..?” “*pops the cork off a bottle of Demonus* the exchange student’s Diavolo’s child.”

The worst part about this kid was that they took to the privileges of being royalty like a fish to water. MC went out and did whatever the fuck they wanted, and Lucifer needed to make sure a state of national emergency wasn’t called just because MC picked a fight at RAD.

It didn’t help that MC was just so unimpressed with Lucifer. Anytime Lucifer would tell them not to do something they would just raise their eyebrows and challenge his authority without saying a word.

What the fuck.jpg

The things he does for his prince boyfriend…

Cool Uncle Mammon

Huh, so this little pipsqueak is Lord Diavolo‘s kid? Hm, do ya think they’d let him into the royal treasury? No? Okay… lame.

Mammon then decides this kid would be just perfect for scamming people! Who is going to say no to the Crown Prince’s kid? A suicidal person, that’s who!

And the kid is… up for it? Wow, Mammon didn’t even have to grovel! Awesome!

It’s such a shame that Lucifer came in and promptly removed MC from Mammon’s presence. Tsk, killjoy…

Mammon and MC do get along swimmingly after MC stops angsting. Whenever they hang out it’s pure chaos.

And they would have gotten away with it too- wait, they do get away with it. Because who’s going to question the Crown Prince’s kid? >:)

Reclusive Uncle Leviathan

Levi was in the middle of throttling Mammon for his money back when Lucifer burst through the door looking like he had spent over 1000 Grimm on a gacha game only to not get the card he wanted.

And where was that human he said would be staying with them? Huh? The human’s HUH????!!!!

… wack. Maybe he shouldn’t have skipped out on that Student Council Meeting…

Either way, ew, new person he needed to talk to. NO THANKS. Well, no thanks until MC started to visit the HOL to hang out with Mammon. Of course those two normies decided to bug him. OF COURSE.

Levi finally snapped when MC loudly proclaimed that they could totally beat Levi in Mario Kart. Haha, NO. Levi challenged the little runt to a 1 v 1 race on Rainbow Road.

Kid lost. Obviously. Rainbow Road is rigged.

Honestly, kid’s alright. Still a total normie, but not completely terrible.

Cat Uncle Satan

Huh, a half human child of the soon to be demon king, how very interesting.

Oh, and just look at Lucifer’s face. :D priceless. Satan wished he was fast enough to get his DDD out to snap a picture, but he wasn’t able to…

But back to MC, oh how very intriguing. How much power do they have in comparison to Diavolo? Will using that power rip their fragile little body apart? Would they learn to control it? Satan was just dying to find out.

His feelings on the child themselves were mixed at best. They were clearly unhappy with the situation and Satan could sympathize, being thrust into a completely new world and then being told you can’t leave and are also royalty? That has to be hard. But this kid was still being an unreasonable little shit.

Satan continued to try and study MC from afar until the kid themselves walked right up to him and half demanded half pleaded for his help in studying for a test.

Not being one to avoid an opportunity to flex how smart he is, Satan agreed to help out. (Nerrrrd)

And honestly, it went well. When the kid wasn’t being a little shit, they were actually quite pleasant to be around.

Overly Affectionate Uncle Asmo

…wut

Listen, when Asmo asked Lucifer to pick a cute human, he didn’t mean cute as in CHILD.

This kid was DIAVOLO’S?! What lucky human had gotten to have the experience of [Jesus Fucking Christ, Asmo I’m not writing what he said for the sake of the nation]

Anyhoo~ little MC just made his heart go “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SO CUTE!” They were so cute Asmo could just eat them up!

But they were so mean! That scowl they always had on was going to give them wrinkles and ruin their perfectly cute face!

Sigh, oh well. He can’t manually rearrange people’s expressions. What he can do is take this child shopping. Poor Diavolo was constantly in his RAD uniform, this poor innocent baby shouldn’t have to suffer the same fate.

The kid continued to scowl at everything, but at the same time, their little quips were very entertaining. This little kid spitting verbal venom at anyone who displeased them reminded Asmo of someone… he just couldn’t place who, but they definitely had amazing hair and a cute face :3

Hungry Uncle Beel

Where’s the takeout- I mean human? What’s happening? …are all humans this small? Dang, that’s barely enough for a snack.

So the human’s not going to live with us because they’re not fully human and Diavolo’s kid? Huh. Wild. Anyway, what’s for dinner?

Beel’s not too invested in this drama, he misses Belphie too much to be that interested…

The kid’s weirdly interested in how cool and strong Beel is though. MC tails him to the gym pretty often.

Diavolo and Beel already being gym buddies send tweet-

Since this benevolent little shit likes Beel so much, they decided to take it upon themselves to help with the family drama.

Beel finds that very sweet 🥺

Murder sleepy Uncle Belphie

Oh man… if you thought Belphie was being unfair to L!MC due to their parentage… hoo boy…

When this kid waltzed up the attic steps like they ran the place, Belphie needed to hold himself back from trying to break down the door and throttle this kid.

Pff, of course Diavolo would have a half human kid. Of course.

…kid beat the shit out of him when he tried to kill them. We stan this MC.

After all is said and done, Belphie still isn’t overly fond of MC. They’re brash and rude and only funny 40% of the time. They don’t even like napping 😒

But Beel likes the little runt, so Belphie and MC put up with each other.

Bonus! Your Angelic Uncle Simeon’s Chihuahua

:0 friend!

MC: *speaks*

>:0 not friend! Begone! *throws crucifix*

[sugamamacustard]

Please don’t let me go

Pairing:  Alpha! Tetsuro Kuroo x Omega! Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, NSFW

Request: HIII my favourite author!!! Happy new year 💜. Wishing you a very happy 2021. Ok sooo i got a scenario In mind. You don't have to write it if you don't want to Reader (half wolf/half omega, and if you don't write half wolf, then omega) in a pack (maybe like you know joint nekoma, fukorodani and karasuno but it's ok if you don't write that, only nekoma then in case) where their pack hasn't exactly accepted them, they're very cold with her. Reader , who has madly been in love with kuroo (cuz I'm such a kuroo lover) for very long, doesn't mind and continues to take care of everyone, making sure their ok and basically like having a soft sweet motherly attitude despite how they treat reader. But at one point reader is just fed up and feels very hurt, thinking they hate them and blames themselves. They also have to keep seeing kuroo bring in other girls for his heat and that Hurts them a lot. So reader thinks they never needed them and slowly stops contacting them. That's when everyone realises they fucked up and tried to find them but they can't. Until one day reader comes to practice and says their joining another pack and apologies for not being enough and all, how would the pack and kuroo, who loves them, stop them, apologize and make it up with them? Angst to fluff, and if you want idk if you write it but nsfw. You don't have to write it ofc! It's just a quick scenario that came to my mind. Please ignore this if you don't want to write it, and sorry if it's too specific and long 🥺

Summary:   You were excited when the other packs joined yours, even finding solace in one of the alphas of one, but suddenly, you weren’t needed. Wanted. Not what he desired. And that hurt. So you do the only thing you can think of. Try to find someone who will comfort your poor omega heart.

Author’s Note: I’m your favorite 🥺 🥺 Happy new year babes!  And I was reading this, and I just kept getting more and more ideas and began writing it right away Hope you enjoy!

Requests: Open!

Keep in Mind! This heavily based off of my Dragon/Shifter! AU from my mainblog! (@Angstyclowns) . The long short of it, is that Shifters have three forms. The first, is completely human. Though the person still has some attributes (Better sight, smell, hearing, etc.) they don’t have any visible features. The second form gives the shifter about half of their features. Tails, ears, wings, fangs, things like that. The third is the “full form”. This is a full dragon, wolf, cat, dog, etc.. You aren’t able to talk in this form, but you do have full control of your actions. I can go into more depth in this AU! if you all want, be sure to let me know!

Tetsuro Kuroo

➵ The Fukorodani pack was big. Huge maybe. 

➵ It was made up of three different, smaller, packs that had combined for both numbers and power. Karasuno, (the namesake) Fukorodani, and Nekoma. 

➵ You were originally apart of Fukorodani, only really close with Akaashi and Bokuto and had yet to get close with anyone else. 

➵ You still cared for them though. 

➵ You prepped meals in the morning, making enough for everyone. 

➵ Made sure you always had band-aids just in case.

➵ You took the role of pack omega well. 

➵ But people still seemed to hold you at an arms length. 

➵ You at first brushed it off, as they were getting used to being in such a big pack, but as they got more comfortable with Bokuto and Akaashi, you began to feel this sense of unease. 

➵ It was obvious they didn’t trust you, but you couldn’t quite place why. 

➵ It soon got to the point where even Akaashi and Bokuto were spending less and less time with you. 

➵ Your omega was hurt and you felt completely deserted. 

➵ You had no idea what was happening. Did you do something wrong?

➵ You didn’t think so. You just did what you always did. Maybe you were too clingy. 

➵ Too overbearing. 

➵ Yeah, that was it. Right? 

➵ Too much too soon. 

➵ So you slowly began pulling away. You stopped making breakfast (Staying in your nest and feigning being asleep when Akaashi or Suga would come check up on you.). 

➵ Stopped carrying medical supplies. Which hurt at first when Hinata or Noya would excitedly ask you for a cartoon printed band-aid, but immediately frowned when you said you didn’t have any.

➵ You just stopped...caring? 

➵ You went on runs a lot more, staying out later and later and leaving earlier and earlier. There were days when no one saw you at all-- Bokuto ending up crying on those days, almost as if his alpha knew you were pulling away. 

➵ He would make an effort to spend the next day with you but then the process would just repeat itself. He’d be gone with Kuroo for days, weeks on end and you were stuck alone one more time. 

➵ “We always have an opening.” Daishou hummed, stretching his arms out as his forked tongue wiggled between his lips. Your tail swiped behind you as your ears fell back. “We could use a wolf like you. Strong legs, strong jaw, good looks-” 

➵ “Don’t.” You sighed, wrapping your tail around your waist and wringing it gently with your hands. “I appreciate the offer, but I- I can’t. I just-”

➵ “I get it. It’s that damned cat, yeah?” The olive haired alpha smirked, playing with one of his scaled fingers. He chuckled at your red cheeks, licking his teeth all the while.  

➵ It was not secret that you fell for the Pack alpha of Nekoma, Kuroo, quickly. Though Daishou (A snake shifter that you ran into during one of your all day runs) didn’t approve of the crush, he didn’t interfere with it. He respected it, in fact, encouraging it on days he felt good. 

➵ You could honestly say Daishou was one of your closest friends at the moment. He always allowed you into his territory, his pack supporting and loving you all the while. 

➵ He had offered to let you join his pack, in fact, but you turned him down. You were tied with Fukorodani, with Akaashi, with Bokuto. They were your family.

➵ Whether or not they saw you the same way, that was how you saw them. 

➵ Your inner omega kept reminding you that Daishou was also your family. 

➵ You suppose the final straw was seeing Kuroo laughing with some random Beta girl. She smelled like cheap perfume, making you reel. You merely watched as he kissed her neck, nipping her ear, quickly taking her to his room. His rut was around the corner so you knew what was going on. 

➵ Didn’t mean you had to like it though. 

➵ Maybe like a rebellious teenager, this kicked off that side you had been hiding.

➵ Instead of disappearing for a day every few weeks, you disappeared for days, one right after the other. You would pop in for a change of clothes, shift into your wolf and you were gone. 

➵ You were strategic about it too. You made sure one person saw you enter, just to assure everyone else you were alive. You made sure they were far enough away they couldn’t catch you even if they shifted-- which most did. They tried to talk to you, just once.

➵ But you had routes made in the deep of night to get you out of sight, running through water to get rid of your scent, just doing everything to make you disappear. 

➵ And slowly, but surely, Daishou and his pack began considering you their omega, just as you began forgetting about the Fukorodani pack. 

➵ Everyone on the other side just got worse though. More often than not, meals were either ordered in or skipped all together. Alphas snapped on each other, Betas snarled in retaliation, omegas were hissing and closing in. 

➵ While Bokuto and Akaashi were expected to be the worst of this all, they weren’t. While they growled and hissed and snapped, they didn’t snarl. They were recluse and kept away, looking for you day in and day out instead. 

➵ The worst of all was Kuroo. He snarled and snapped, baring his teeth at anyone who crossed his path. That beta girl? She ran out a week ago, bleeding from her hand because Kuroo had bitten her for touching him when he told her to go away. 

➵ Even Kenma had been on the receiving end of a near-close call, making everyone turn their attention to what his issue was. 

➵ They only got their answer on one of the few short trips you made back. You smelled heavily like the territory next door, so much so they could smell it from your room while you were re-packing your bag. 

➵ Your nest had been dismantled and one of the several blankets in there was folded and you began putting it into your bag, only for Kuroo to slam open your door. 

➵ You chirped in surprise, crawling back from the seething alpha. He was angry, you could tell, and you didn’t want to get in his way. 

➵ You bowed your head, quickly zipping up your bag before making your way to the window. 

➵ You couldn’t deal with him right now. Not with your feelings, not with his anger. You just couldn’t. 

➵ “Where the fuck are you going?” He hissed, stomping to your window and shutting it before you could crawl through. 

➵ “I- I don’t- Just-”

➵ He stopped you, sniffing your neck. “You smell like him.”

➵ “Who’s him?”

➵ “That fucking snake! Who else?!” Teeth are dragged dangerously down your neck, making you shudder. “What the fuck are you doing near him?”

➵ “Dai-”

➵ “Don’t fucking say his name. Answer the question. Why were you near him?! His pack?! We are right here. We’re your pack. Not them.” He sounded close to exploding,  making you whine as you withdrew. 

➵ He ran a hand through his hair as he paced in front of you. “Were we not good enough? Huh? You needed another pack? WHY WEREN’T WE GOOD ENOUGH?!” 

➵ You didn’t realize it, but you began shaking, slowly drawing in on yourself, trying to seem as small as possible. 

➵ You didn’t want to make the alpha angry. Why was he so angry? 

➵ “Tell me!” Looking up, you hiccupped as tears began streaming down your face, Kuroo having his own tears dripping down his cheeks. “Why wasn’t I good enough?”

➵ He collapsed in front of you, hands yanking on his hair. 

➵ And while you were hesitant, you slowly crept closer. He was shaking his head by the time you got close enough to hear him whispering “Please don’t leave.” Making your heart and omega whine. 

➵ “I-” You stopped. What was there to say? All of a sudden he wanted you here? Where was he the past however many weeks? 

➵ You wanted to scream at him. Turn and leave through the window anyway. 

➵ Leave this pack, and Kuroo, behind. 

➵ “Don’t leave me. I don’t care about the rest of them-- maybe Kenma-- but don’t leave me. Please. I can’t handle- I can’t handle not seeing you everyday. I thought I could. I thought I could fill the void with meaningless flings, but they couldn’t even touch me before I was aching for you. “ He was sobbing now, tears dripping down his cheeks. 

➵ You hesitantly wrapped an arm around his shoulder, allowing him to cry into your shoulder. He held you tightly, refusing to let you slip through his fingers as he almost had. 

➵ “I-I don’t- I don’t know what you want from me anymore, Kuroo. I-I tried staying, and that didn’t work. I tried leaving, and that didn’t work either. I don’t want to leave but I can’t stay. I’m so touch starved and I can’t keep living like this!” You cried out, frustrated with all the mixed signals around you. 

➵ What did your pack want from you?

➵ “We’ll fix it! I swear, I’ll fix it myself. I swear on my life. I’ll fix it. Fix myself. Make myself that alpha you deserve. Please.”

➵ You said nothing. Only allowing him to hold you close. 

___NSFW___

➵ “Tetsuro!” You squealed, laughing as soft kisses were laced down your thighs. 

➵ “Kitten~” He responded, suckling a hickey right near your cunt. 

➵ You were wearing nothing but his sweatshirt and he was rabid seeing you, his pretty omega all nice and ready for him. 

➵ And his cock. 

➵ Sitting up, he pulled you onto his thighs with a swift movement, making you laugh once more.

➵ He smirked down at you once you calmed down, pressing a sweet peck to your lips, making you hum with satisfaction. 

➵ His hands trailed under his shirt to rest on your hips, keeping you close to him. You seemed so ethereal, sitting in the light that filtered through the window-- oranges and reds highlighting your body.

➵ “I love you. I love you so much.” He huffed, leaning his forehead onto yours, feeling the heat of your smile against his lips. 

➵ “I love you too, Tetsuro.” Another peck was pressed to his lips. 

➵ His heart felt so full, having you in his arms, having you in his grasp. He just couldn’t let you go. 

➵ He had almost done that once. 

➵ But he would never make the same mistake again. 

___

His cock dragged slowly out of your walls, sending shocks of pleasure and sensation wavering through your body as you shuddered. It wasn’t often you got to see the slow and sensual side of Tetsuro-- the one that would kiss your bond mark, the one that would tear up as he spilled praise after praise into your ear, the one that would hold a hand on your chest just to feel your thundering heartbeat only to pull your hand up to feel his own, which was just as bad--but when you did it left you  just breathless as he always did. There were days when you just needed this side and he always picked up on that, but some days he needed the solace he got with it as well. 

You’d always enable it, purring and whispering your own praises to him, kissing his temples when his emotions bubbled far to quickly for him to properly absorb, spilling over.  

It was times like this, when his forehead rested against your shoulder, did you feel closest. His pants were hot against your already flushed skin, adding already to your sensitive body. 

Running a hand through his hair, you waited for him to give you an indicator of what he wanted. What he needed from you at that very moment. 

When he didn’t move it hit you. He just wanted you close. To keep you close. To remind himself you were still there. To remind himself he won the war. He won you. He finally got the queen to his kingdom. The one he wanted from the star. 

And you would indulge him, running your both your hands through his hair and holding him close.  Even if you pretended not to feel the happy tears falling onto your shoulder. 

____

Soft sex Kuroo had me  🥺 🥺 

[authoratmidnight]

I had a sort of angsty idea this morning so I must inflict it upon other people.

I call it ‘reverse Iruma AU’. instead of a human that was kidnapped to the demon world, it’s a demon that was kidnapped to the human world.

In this, Iruma is Sullivan's grandchild, related to him by blood. Sully gained custody of him after both his parents died. So he is Sully's world, doted on and loved.

There was an old, outdated tradition of demons spending time in the human world to understand it better(esp demon king candidates). Sully thinks this is a great idea and decides it's just what little Iruma needs (and it'll put him somewhere reasonably safe for a time since the demon world is in turmoil and he wants to keep him safe).

So he brings him to meet the Suzuki's, a family he trusts as he spent time with them when he was a boy (unfortunately what he didn't know and had no way of knowing was that while the Suzuki's he knew were good people, their current descendants, suck). They seem nice and kind and promise to look after him, and Sullivan promises to come back after one years time.

And he does, one year later he returns. Except. The Suzuki's and Iruma, are gone. The house is long abandoned and the neighbours are just like 'idk, they moved away several months ago and didn't leave a forwarding address'.

Sullivan is, understandably, beside himself. Iruma is his family, the only family he has left, and now he's gone. Stolen by people Sullivan trusted to care for him! So he searches and searches, constantly coming back to the human world despite the protests of Demon Border Patrol to please stop! All the time off is causing him to neglect his duties to the Netherworld. Eventually, after years of searching and pestering from DBP, he finally has to stop and accept he may never see his grandson again. But just cause he can't go to the human world to search for Iruma, doesn't mean the search won't continue. He just, sends someone else.

All anyone not in the know knows is that Iruma just vanished one day and Sullivan became depressed and withdrawn, so everyone kind of assumes the worst happened.

On the Iruma side of things, things were good at first, they were nice. Then they all left on a "trip" (in reality they were bailing on the house to go elsewhere).

Slowly, Iruma was, basically gaslighted into thinking none of it was real. When he asked about seeing his grandpa they just said they couldn't anymore cause he'd passed away (that was why they’d moved after all, the place was to full of sad memories. And when he brought up things like flying they were just 'oh what an imagination'. And since Iruma was young he just, began to believe it after a while (also, since he was staying on earth his horns and wings and demonic features were hidden with glamour). He still has hazy memories of his grandpa and things like magic and flying, but as he grows just assumes he had a very active imagination as a child.

He also ends up with a deep aversion to mirrors that he can’t explain. when he looks in them what he sees just feels, wrong somehow. He can’t put his finger on why, so he just straight up avoids looking in a mirror.

But then one day, when he's around, ~14, a black cat follows him home.

It's adorable and clingy and his parents are just like 'yeah sure ig you can keep it, but you have to look after it' when he asks about keeping it. He decides to name it 'Opera' (he doesn't know why, cause it's such a weird name but it just, felt right). Iruma's also the only person it seems to like, it's indifferent to everyone else and hates his parents.

The cat occasionally vanishes for days at a time but always comes back. until one day it doesn't. but a strange man with horns and wings does appear and spirits him away. He's scared at first, but as they're flying through this strange world, he feels this overwhelming sense of nostalgia. He knows this place. Knows this man, he's sure of it.

Obviously enough, the cat /was/ Opera, tasked with finding Iruma by Sully years ago. The only reason Opera didn't just, eviscerate Iruma's parents on the spot (and oh boy did they want to) was cause they didn't want to cause the boy any more trauma. They did get a few good swipes in tho and did draw blood on more than one occasion. which was cathartic enough. Opera figured out Iruma was the boy he was looking for b/c Iruma called him Opera but also b/c of the things Iruma would talk to them about (his hazy memories from his time in the netherworld, memories of Sullivan etc)

Only a handful of people in the Netherworld actually know the details of what happened to Iruma. All most people know is, Sullivan had a grandson that he doted and loved. Then one day the boy was just, gone, and Sullivan grew depressed and distracted and just, was not himself. So like, they all kind of assumed the worst.

Then like a decade later a boy shows up at Babyls that Sullivan insists is in fact his grandson.

Sully would, absolutely be a massive helicopter parent and never want to let Iruma out of his sight ever again. Iruma has, his own issues. His wings are stunted in their growth and atrophied from lack of use. He wants to fly so badly but he just, can't. Wings too small and weak. also the first time he sees himself in a mirror after the glamour comes off, and he sees his horns he just about cries. not from fear but just cause, he looks right. That's him in the mirror, not that weird imposter. He also has some mad separation anxiety, getting terrified anytime someone leaves him alone.

side note but Kalego was very baffled (and maybe, maybe a touch worried) when Opera just, fucking vanished for several years (the time they spent searching for Iruma). Like, Sullivan was always accompanied by Opera and then one day the cat butler was just, fucking gone. He swears he wasn’t worried but he sure did find himself feeling better when Opera did reappear.

[mmmonie]

I have obey me brain rot and I physically cannot take it anymore so here are some random HCS I fucking busted out about demons under the read more (and some angel stuff thrown in. For fun. Spice is the variety of life or whatever) I formatted this on mobile so forgive me for my crimes pls..... 😔

Also as an fyi I have never written anything in my life <3 (and also I’m dyslexic) so if something sounds stupid I’m sorry lol <3 also I’m sure u can tell but I never know where to put commas so if that bothers u........sorry again lol

*There are (at least) two demonic languages: one is a bit like Latin albeit way more fucked up. The second one is spoken only. A human can learn to understand both but the second one requires a lot of concentration to discern due to the subtlety in the growls, clicks and other noises demons are capable of making. It’s also very dependent on body language, especially in demonic form.

*It would be nearly impossible for a human to be fluent in the second one because of that. (unless you’re like. A really good mimic?)

* the second one is the oldest language. The new language and it’s written counterpart are derived from it with a little twist, so you’ll still hear some interesting noises thrown in there. It would take some dedication to learn, though the written part is fairly easy once you get the hang of it. It was made to be read quickly and efficiently. The speaking part however...................good luck.

* Demons and angels can instantly pick up human languages including reading and writing. Wouldn’t do you much good to be summoned in like. Germany and not know the language LOL

* Demons purr LOL you can’t click and growl and NOT purr. Like cats, it is both a happy thing and a self soothing thing.

* There is a slight difference between a happy purr and a self soothing purr, but the difference depends entirely on the demon.

* Demons (and angels) are nearly impossible to kill. It’s also very hard to damage them in any meaningful way. They also heal very quickly, so even if you did get a good hit on one, if they managed to get away chances are they’d heal in a matter of hours.

* Stronger demons like the brothers are even MORE impervious to damage. The amount of times Beel’s reached into the oven barehanded just to pop a piping hot cookie in his mouth is insane. He swears it’s the best way to eat them.

* Angels are very stiff but very physically powerful. They have a lot of control over their bodies and are trained from a young age to be able to wield that power responsibly.

* Demons on the other hand are incredibly flexible and bounce back easily. Though your average demon might not be the same physical strength as an angel, they have agility on their side. Angels are heavy hitters where demons rely on their ability to strike multiple times very quickly.

* This was a very weird transition for the brothers, though the amount of strength they had barely changed between realms. Fallen angels don’t change that much strength wise, but a little bit is burned up in the fall (to protect themselves.)

* Angels may be strong but demons also posses a massive amount of strength and have to learn to control it over time. This is known as a “juvenile phase” but it happens at different ages depending on how they were born. Fallen angels do not go through this as they have already learned to keep a grip on their power. Do I have an entire separate post ready about this bc I just couldn’t shut up? Maybe...

* There are four ways of being “born” a demon. Fallen angels, half demons, human borns and natural demons.

* Humans can choose to be turned into demons, but it is a very painful process and they won’t be able to gain any strength, what they get is what the get. They are referred to as “human born” and were considered the lowest of the humanoid demons until Diavolo came into power.

* Human born used to just be made whenever by whoever but that caused problems. Demons would make human borns and then just leave them to flounder about by themselves in an unknown territory. Diavolo’s father put an end to that during his reign, but “accidents” still happen. Now you have to do paperwork if you want to turn your human friend/lover into a demon lol.

* The ceremony for turning humans into demons is incredibly complex, which is why banning making human born unless given permission is less of a problem than you’d think.

* Half demons are just that, they’re only half demon. Most are half human but there are a few other kinds of magical creatures mixed in there. They aren’t as strong as a natural demon nor a fallen angel but they can gain power through their other ancestry. Many of them specialize in unique kinds of magic.

* Half human/demon children aren’t as rare as you’d think they are. This is due to the fact that demons have all sorts of ways to keep a demonic baby alive. Ranging from shapeshifting and (magically) taking the baby themselves once it’s grown enough to handle the transition to various forms of potions and spells to help a human along.

* Half demons and natural demons have the luxury of being born already (mostly) acclimated to the devildom, making some of the transitions that come with a demons lifespan easier on them than human born and fallen angels.

* Angels are taught to control/ignore their instincts where demons are taught to rely on/embrace theirs. Because demonic instincts often work against the things taught in the celestial realm fallen angels have a hard time adjusting to their new environment. Though, as their sins overtake them, their instincts become easier to fall back on.

* Demons have multiple forms, not just the two shown in game. All in all, the brothers have 5, each becoming less and less humanoid.

* Half/human born demons are more likely to have both a tail and wings in their first demonic form. Stronger demons like the brothers are merely showing off the strongest of the two, but everyone has both. (Bc I think they slap LOL *points* u get a tail and wings! *u get a tail and wings*)

* •a demons features can be influenced by what sin they are, but it’s not a hard or fast rule. Don’t be surprised if a demon who looks more akin to Mammon is actually a Sloth demon.***this does not apply to little Ds who’s look is entirely dependent on their sin. Little Ds are an entirely separate conversation 😈

* human borns/half demons can have two sins assigned to them, though this makes them less powerful in both. Usually there is a more prominent sin.

* Diavolo’s rule has helped quite a bit with bringing humans into a new better light, and many natural born demons who haven’t been able to interact with the human realm have become increasingly curious about humans and the way they work. Much of this is due to media that was brought from the human world to sedate Dia’s intense curiosity.

* In the eyes of many older demons, humans are merely playthings and it is expected that most demons will eventually mate with at least one other demon. A human and a demon dating is seen as just infatuation on the demons part, and it’s often thought that there are no real feelings behind a relationship like that. However there have been/are many successful and happy human/demon relationships.

* Demons don’t really have a concept of marriage. They live so long there really isn’t a point to tying yourself to one single person (or a few people) However, that’s not to say that there aren’t relationships like that. There are binding ceremonies for expressing love and devotion to other beings and it has its own unique culture.

* though the gates to the human realm are still technically closed and have been for a long time, demons can still be summoned by witches (sorcerers, wizards, warlocks, whatever you call yourself.) They can also be successfully summoned if you are not a magic user, however this is rare and often can go wrong, much like horror movies.

* Summoning very powerful demons like the brothers is incredibly hard even for an extremely experienced magic user, so often the demon you get claiming to be Satan really isn’t LOL. There are demons who are actually assigned to go to summonings in the place of the seven lords of hell, but many demons will just take on the role to fuck around with whomever summoned them. You think a prince of hell has time to just go possess some object or person for fun? (Ok...Mammon Satan and Belphie might.......if they’re bored enough LOL)

* Demons are actually relatively cuddly creatures. They might be a little rough with strangers but base instincts with family members will always be to coddle rather than fight. They’re more like humans in that right.

* Angels don’t do much casual touching, they’re very uptight. Beel and Belphie being as close as they are was a bit of an oddity in the celestial realm. That’s not to say angels don’t need causal touch lol just that they were trained to avoid that “temptation”.

* the brothers had a hard time starting out in the Devildom because of this. They still have a hard time with casual touches, which is why they seem so touched starved with the MC.

Things I might elaborate on later:

* There is a difference between demons, incubi and succubi but it’s not what you think it is.

* Demons, angels and humans all have very different takes on gender.

* The juvenile phase (DO not tempt me I wrote out like 1000 words about it bc I couldn’t shut the fuck up)

* Animals in the Devildom are fucked up. I WILL fucking talk about this bc it’s my passion.

* Pacts and how they work..........

* Maybe I’ll also elaborate on the hierarchy/power structure of demons sometimes 

[internalsealpanic]

The Mechanics of Living part 2

Summary:  You trick Tim into going to a closed-off sector. Things go well. a/n: I will be doing a director’s cut for this is anyone is interested (by anyone I mean @glorified-red) Warnings: very slight body horror and gore 

Main Masterlist

Tim Drake Masterlist

It was easiest to just tell Tim all the facts rather than rely on the goodwill you've built in 3 years to persuade him.

There's a reason sector 4-D was cordoned off last year. For some unknown reason, a section that had been little more than a concrete wasteland started teeming with infected life.

People say it was an abomination (An unidentifiable, Tim corrected but you still think abomination captured the appropriate dramatic for that.)  that wandered in from farther in the waste. Some people say it was one of Bludhaven's beasts they let loose. You highly doubt Bludhaven was in any shape to contain whatever it is ravaging sector 4-D. After all, it wasn't in any better shape than Gotham was at the moment. You doubt it's ever been in better shape. They're like two cities constantly caught in this vortex of awfulness, looking at each other from two different sides thinking 'poor bastards'.

Sector 4-D was an easy hunting ground where young scavengers got their feet wet before they could move on. Now it was a dead zone, a dead zone with too much potential to pass up.

Like every sector, sector 4 was vast and unexplored and supposedly, there had been a library there. A building full of books and most importantly, medical textbooks.

You feel a little bad plucking at Tim's heartstrings when all you cared about was the payout. Appealing to the guy's sense of responsibility was kind of cheating but-- BUT! The specified textbooks do have stuff about bacteria and illnesses so you aren't really overstating their importance.

You try to push down the number of zeroes the man had shown you as you zip past a rusted sign.

You don't really trust anyone other than Tim to help you with this. Besides, all the other people who won't stab you after cashing in the reward probably don't know half as many words as Tim so you'll definitely need him to get the right books.

You stare at the rows of cars before you. They're overrun with weeds and vines and rust. A stark reminder that your Gotham is just a fraction of what it had been. You stop your bike in front of a taxi with a faded yellow body.

"This is it. This is where your life as an adventurer begins."

You swallow back the wave of nostalgia, letting the bike roll past it into the mess of cars to keep it a little more hidden. It isn't illegal to go to this sector yet. At least not when you checked but you really don't wanna gamble your Scavenger's license on clerical errors by either of your guilds.

Tim steps out of the sidecar, careful not to jostle Basil in his bag. You want to point out that you should probably wake the cat up otherwise you were wasting food on him but you knew better than to expect cooperation from Tim's fur ball from hell.

“So which theory about the illness do you think is the most plausible?” He asks, tucking the walkman away. You both thought it was stupid name but you didn’t really wanna question the teller. “The one that involves the least aliens.” You pause, narrowing your eyes at Tim whose hand is currently being eaten by his cat. “Or alien adjacent things.”

“So, you're one of those people who thinks the government did it.” Tim is *such* a little shit. Maybe that’s why his guild master gave him the most useless cat on the planet. Grade A my ass, you think staring at the furball nipping at his knuckles.

“Not on purpose, no.”

Tim raises a brow. “I didn't know you had that much faith in humanity.”

“Pffff, I think they just fucked up.”  

“Here, I was accusing you of being optimistic.”

“A mistake really.”

You two come to a crossroads.  A giant large yellow lantern hangs in the middle of the street, swaying listlessly in the air. It’s strange.

“Do you think the people in the old world used those to scare away the sick?”

“If they did,” he looks around, “it didn't work.”

Your eyes flit over the area.  Stone walls crumble, vegetation willing in the cracks. Still, even with the overgrowth of life, the city feels hollowed out. Nearly a decade ago, you’d first laid a hand on one of the stone arches of the city hall just down by main street. Nearly a decade ago, you felt the stone crumble beneath the pads of your fingers. Nearly a decade ago, you had come the closest to knowing what it was like having the sickness. Even one of the great cities had been reduced to a fraction of its size.

“Do you think the color of the light matters?” Tim asks, pointing again to the lamp.

You squint. You hadn’t noticed it at first but yeah, the color of the lights was different.

“Maybe,” you tilt your head, “or maybe the people from before were just idiots.”

“You just have a bad opinion of them, don’t you?”

“Like you don’t.” You shoot back, tapping your bat against your boot.

Tim rolls his eyes and shrugs.

You try to smile at that but something’s wrong. Your skin bristling, the air is stale despite the wind. You watch the lantern sway back and forth, the thin wires holding it up, fragile and precarious. A bad feeling crawls up your spine.

There’s a pressure in the air, the atmosphere turning into a vacuum.

Basil hisses, looking as vicious as he can.

The wind stops.

The skittering voices rise like the fluttering of locust wings.

A writhing mass, pulsing and menacing, blots out the horizon. It opens its maw to wheeze and the stench of rot floods the air. Your insides curdle and wilt from the intensity of the putrid odor. Once the *thing* draws another breath, the skittering begins again and this time you know where it’s from.

You can see it in the way its neck twists and undulates, its rotting flesh rippling as the fragmented voices rasp out of its throat. Its limbs, deformed, move unnaturally as it ambles towards you.

You stare at it. Your limbs unmoving. That thing *is* an unidentifiable. In all technicality, it fits the neat taxonomy laid out by experts. It is neither man nor beast. Its form corrupted beyond recognition. It’s rotting and shambling. But the thing you are looking at cannot simply be sorted neatly because it is what it is.  

A creature that god himself did not touch.

An abomination.

You splay a hand on Tim’s chest, pushing him back lightly.  Glancing at each other, you nod as you slowly step back into an alley. You quietly curse Gotham’s gloomy weather for the thing’s appearance. You thought you would have at least ‘til sundown to look for loot before having to flee to a safer sector. But when in Gotham, nothing is ever certain even the rising of the sun.

All you have to do is be quiet. Easy enough. Being silent is the first thing you learn to be in this world.

It blinks at you.

It. Blinks. At. *You.*

Your heart stops, the blood running in your veins turning into lead.

Dozens of eyes blink at you. They’re not all human from the looks of them. It opens its maw again, your muscles bunch up in anticipation of its miasmal breath. The discordant voices coming from its mouth coalesce into a horrible sob.

Tim grabs your wrist and pivots towards an alley. The sudden change in movement shocks your body awake. You scoop Basil up and bolt down the alley, letting Tim lead the way.

Desperately, You try to concentrate on the scuff of your shoes against pavement instead of the creak of limbs and the plop of flesh as it drips off the creature. The pinching of Tim’s features tells you he’s doing the same.

You round the corner, shoulder hitting brick, narrowly avoiding dozens of hands reaching for you. Basil yowls and hisses and you would apologize but your shoulder is screaming at you and goddammit Basil, we have bigger issues.  

You and Tim squeeze into a space between the buildings seemingly too small for that thing’s gelatinous form. You make the mistake of looking back only to see its limbs skitter up the building and down the other end of the alley. It smiles at you, rows of teeth glittering in the sparse light.

This was it.

This is where your life ends.

Where else is there to go?

You expect the acceptance to come in like a flood or relief. Life was hard with very little room for breath. Scraping by, tooth and nail, knuckles bleeding for every scrap of stability. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You suddenly feel so tired like the adrenaline had been keeping you together for the past few years. Acceptance should have come easy.

But it doesn’t.

You open your eyes to glance at Tim, finally resignation sets. His features are still pinched and his hand is trembling beside yours. You really did screw this one up big time, huh?

You bite your cheek.

Watching Tim’s mind work, you know you have to keep him alive. You squeeze Tim's hand. He narrows his eyes at you. You give him a crooked smile and let his hand fall.

You pivot, foot pushing against the pavement as you launch yourself to the other end of the alley.

If your estimates are correct, you can buy him 15 minutes. 15 minutes would be more than enough for him to make it back to the bike--

Tim yanks on your hood, throwing open a door. The creature howls as Tim hurls both of you into the building.

"What the heck was that?!" Tim screams.

"A Dick." You answer, rubbing your head. fuck. Tim could throw.

"No! You were being fucking stupid."

You scowl at him in the dark. "Thanks Tim. I get it."

"No, you don't!"

"Can we argue--"

The door rattles and shakes. A fist-shaped dent embeds itself on the metal door. You glance at each other before scrambling towards the very safe-looking stairs.

You fly up the steps like hell was on your heels and as far as you're concerned, it was. You wrench Tim's bag from him and you're half tempted to throw him over your shoulder as well but you're not sure the stare case can hold that much weight.

If you climb to the roof--  If you... climb... It can climb. Fuck.

You and Tim seem to come to the same conclusion as you throw yourselves into another door.

You shove a sofa in front of the door and sit on it.

"Please tell me you've miraculously come up with a plan." You hiss glancing over to Tim who's staring at the window.

He glances over his shoulder to look at you. "If I could pull off miracles, you wouldn't be so dumb."

You sigh. Ok, yeah. He has every right to be mad. It was an incredibly stupid move but it's a numbers game and yeah.

Tim runs his hand through his hair, tugging at the strands. He needs to come up with something. He glances out the window. He walks over and leans out the window.

"We should jump."

"Would you like to elaborate?" You wheeze, still not really letting go of a

"Follow me."

"Tim, I have never trusted you less in my life." You snort, quietly. But you make your way to the window.  You set Basil down and look at what Tim is pointing to. There's a dumpster filled to the brim with trash. There doesn't seem to be any infected mice in there and the road to the right is a straight shot back to the bike.

You lick your lips.

"So we're on the same page."

"Uh, if that means what I think it means then yes."

Tim lets out a breath as he opens the window as quietly as possible. You listen to the steady beat of limbs thumping against the wood. You hold a collective breath. The window clicks into place with a loud snikt.

The thumping stops.

You practically shove Tim out the window while you stare at the door. It rattles and shakes.  A screech erupts the stairwell as you jump out the window. You land with a thump, sinking beneath the mounds of plastic.

Your heart is hammering and pressing into your throat. Its beat is in sync with the steady thump of the limbs. The wet squelching of rotting flesh scraping against the rusted metal of the dumpster. You want to heave but Tim shoves a hand in your face. You gag silently. Tim's hand smells putrid from the trash.

You hold your breaths until the thumping goes away. You don't dare breathe until Basil settles down.

You fall limp against the trash. Your limbs feel like jelly. You gag. Thinking about jelly right now is probably the worst thing for your health.

Tim nudges you with his foot. You turn your body over as quietly as you can.

You watch him make shapes with his hands. You frown.   You cycle through your memory trying to remember what the gestures mean then let go of Basil when you do.

Basil rises from the trash, padding against the plastic.

When you hear Basil jump down to the pavement, you dig your way out of the trash.

"For the record, I hate your plans." You say, gagging.

"What was yours?" Tim fires back, dusting his hair.

"..."

"Just what I thought."

You're the first to climb out, holding your arms out to him mockingly. He silently threatens to curb stomp your face. You snort and tuck your hands to your side.

Thankfully, you make it to the bike without incident.

Tim tucks his body into the sidecar, occupying himself by comforting Basil. You hand him a bat as you start the bike.

"Just in case."

You kick the bike into gear as you two ride into the sunset.

You breathe a quiet breath, letting your eyes slip shut for a moment. The road is clear for about 14 breaths.  That’s all you want to think about.

At the fourteenth breath, you open your eyes to an open expanse of road, endless and breathtaking. You turn to Tim and laugh. He gives you a sour look. You’ll just buy both of you some canned pineapples later and he’ll maybe forgive you. Basil certainly does as he doesn’t participate in Tim’s sour protest, opting instead to crawl into Tim’s bag.

Then you hear it above the roar of the engine.

The skittering.

Voices like the fluttering of wings.

It screeches, the raspy cry making your skin crawl. You don’t wanna look back. You don’t want to see the unnatural movement of its body as it bounds towards you.

You kick the bike to a higher gear. The engine will hate you but you can’t repair it if you’re dead.

The bike slows down. Tim stands up raising your bat over his head, bringing it down. It does not clang. The sound is squishier and moist. Your stomach rebels. Hazarding a glance behind you, you see the writhing mass holding onto your bike.

“TIM,” you shout.

“I--” Swing “-- AM--” Swing “--A LITTLE--” Swing “--BUSY!” “THERE’S A CAN OF HAIRSPRAY IN MY DUFFLE.”  

Tim ducks down, throwing you the bat. You swing wildly at the creature, summoning up a truly impressive bout of swearing.

Tim sprang up, nearly falling off the sidecar if not for you grabbing his shirt. Tim flicked the lighter, pressing down on the nozzle of the spray, and unleashing fire on the beast. The thing cries, voice shattering as it burns. You watch its flesh burn. Oh, what a pleasure it was to see it burn.

"We are never doing this again!" Tim wheezes.

"Of definitely fucking not." You bark, kicking the bike to a higher gear. The purring of the engine sounds like music to your ears.

"We are definitely doing easy sectors by a bit." You laugh.

When you don’t hear a snarky remark, you glance to your sidecar. Tim is slumped into his seat, breathing hard. You raise your brow but turn your attention to the road.  You shake him. You shake him again and again.

Tim doesn't respond.

You pull your hand away and it’s slick with blood.

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Thanks for reading!!!!

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[jaskicr]

reverse!au but geralt, eskel and lambert are all bards

(probably bardsexual) witcher!jaskier and his merry boyband of bards consisting of geralt, eskel, and lambert, featuring vesemir as their tired dad, with future additions of yen, ciri and coën (and some valdo bashing)

bard!geralt talks a little more than in the show, he’s sassy and witty in the way we only see bits of in canon, he’s slightly less emotionally stunted but he‘s still dumb

he has curly auburn hair (bc that’s adorable ok) and green eyes, he’s very squishy and pretty and adorable, also he has freckles and blushes easily

he and eskel and lambert were all orphans, taken in by vesemir, a gruff but kind-hearted professor at oxenfurt

they grew up in oxenfurt as brothers with vesemir as their father figure and now they travel the continent as a band (bard boyband that i have dubbed kaer morons courtesy of @kaermorons)

vesemir gave up his position as professor to travel alongside his sons bc they’re really chaotic and he needs to make sure they don’t get themselves killed (but also he’s a tired dad who loves his disaster sons)

ok so one day they split up because they’re competitive bastards and they’re competing to see who first writes a song that gets popular across the continent

this is when geralt travels to posada and spots a witcher in the corner of a tavern

jaskier is a witcher from the wolf school and he goes by julian of kerack

he’s not as chatty as in canon but he’s definitely chattier than a normal witcher

it’s just a normal day on the path when he meets a bard called geralt in posada

geralt is intrigued by the witcher in the corner, takes one look at jaskier’s distinctive silver hair and golden eyes and scarred face and exclaims, ‘oh, you’re julian of kerack’

jaskier is surprised - this human knows who he is, and yet chose to approach him. he doesn’t even look afraid, merely curious, so jaskier decides to see where this goes

‘my friends call me jaskier,’ jaskier returns wryly. ‘at least, they would, if i had any friends’

geralt is stunned. the witcher is funny! and he has a very cute nickname to match a very cute face (even if it is slightly intimidating. but he’s cute)

‘well, nice to meet you, jaskier. i’m sure we’ll become great friends’

then they get kidnapped by elves, and geralt is taken aback by this witcher’s surprising eloquence as he talks them out of the situation

geralt wants to know more about him

also, it’ll be a good way to get a new song, what with his witchery adventures, so geralt decides to follow this witcher for inspiration for his songs

he can easily beat eskel and lambert if he sings songs about a witcher’s adentures

it’ll also improve the reputations of witchers in the process, so it’s a win-win

but also, geralt finds this witcher deeply interesting, and what better way to get to know him than to travel with him?

jaskier is bemused at the bard who decides to follow him. he almost leaves the bard behind, but well, he’s lonely, he’s missed talking to people, and geralt is kind of adorable, so he lets geralt follow him

the bard makes good music, jaskier notes. usually, most sounds grate on his enhanced hearing, but geralt’s music is low and pleasant, and jaskier finds that he doesn’t mind

geralt’s view that all witchers are taciturn and silent is quickly overturned. while jaskier rarely starts a conversation, once geralt asks him questions, he actually talks quite a lot, rambling a bit

geralt finds it quite endearing, and jaskier’s smile when geralt engages him in conversation lights up his face, and oh the witcher is really gorgeous

geralt tells jaskier about his band with eskel and lambert, and sheepishly admits that he partly tagged along with jaskier to win the competition

jaskier isn’t mad. he’d suspected that the bard had an ulterior motive, so he shrugs it off. geralt’s been good company after years of loneliness, and jaskier isn’t about to chase him away

geralt is relieved - jaskier has grown on him, and he finds himself reluctant to leave the witcher’s side

geralt’s version of toss a coin is debuted 2 weeks later and the humans eat it up

within a month it’s spread across the continent like wildfire and geralt knows that he’s all but won the little competition against his brothers

during this time, geralt has, despite jaskier’s insistence that he stay back, joined jaskier on several hunts. there are around 3 more songs in the works, ready to be debuted with his band

a tentative friendship has grown between them, a comfortable banter unlike anything jaskier has had over the long years of his life, and geralt finds himself becoming attached to the witcher

one day, geralt asks jaskier to travel with him to meet his band

they meet up with eskel, lambert and vesemir in oxenfurt at their planned meeting time

eskel and lambert have resigned looks on their faces as geralt turns up with a smug grin and a scary witcher trailing behind him

‘you found a witcher,’ lambert grouses, ‘that should be cheating.’

‘that was never in the rules,’ geralt replies, still high on his victory. ‘suck it, lambert.’

but the wolves take a liking to jaskier very quickly after a chat over a meal, and they collectively decide to follow him

jaskier is very confused (poor bby is confused throughout this whole thing) because he’s a big bad scary witcher?? and somehow all these bards have decided that they like him and want to follow him??

but it’s not like he can stop them so they tag along on his adventures, singing his praises

whenever jaskier gets a contract, he tries to make the bards stay behind in town, but it’s 4 against 1 and jaskier can’t do anything but give in

so the bards huddle some distance away from the fight and watch

the first time, they’re tense and on edge, fearing the worst, and only geralt is relaxed, knowing that jaskier is more than capable of taking down some measly drowners

by the third time they follow jaskier into a fight, the bards are totally chill and start a running commentary about the fight

‘bet you our next meal that jaskier’s gonna run to the left’

lambert snorts. ‘please, eskel. he’ll definitely jump on its head.’

‘as if. he’s gonna roll under it and stab it,’ geralt argues

‘HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK HE JUMPED INTO ITS MOUTH’

they all lose the bet

theyre panicking until jaskier casually slices his way out of the corpse, covered in guts but unharmed

their bets become wild after that

‘he’s running at it is he getting ready to do an aerial somersault’

‘he’s gonna grab onto its wings and ride on its back’

‘he’s gonna igni that nekker and toss it into the rest of the nekkers’

theyre never able to predict what jaskier does because jaskier is just a very skilled witcher and he also delights in how annoyed his bards get when they guess wrong

the bards are also very feral especially when it comes to defending their witcher

someone insults jaskier? they get assaulted by 3 snarling bards while their dad nods approvingly

someone tries to cheat jaskier out of his payment? lambert mysteriously has a knife and jaskier has to physically hold back eskel and geralt from jumping on the person

eventually word spreads around the continent that julian of kerack has 3 very feral bard protectors and a their scary father who looms at anyone who dares speak a word against julian

this is based on a post i made a few weeks ago, there are more ideas for this in the reblogs of that post - if you want to check it out, i’ll put the link in a reblog!

there are definitely more headcanons for this that i’ve already written and i will post them soon!! hopefully one day i’ll get around to writing this because i LOVE this concept a whole lot

i have more headcanons featuring witcher!jaskier disguising himself as dandelion the bard, his rivalry with cat witcher valdo marx, his friendship with pre-transformation yen and coën, and how ciri fits in with it all - thank u @brothebro for bouncing ideas with me<3

[polythremed]

wheres the essay op i want whitsun bugs

there might not have been an essay before, but there is now! bugs and inverts are hugely overlooked. however, the victorians loved insects! they were huge inspirations in art, shells were used in fashion, so what would be more vogue than a giant bug for a pet?

(Punch, September 29, 1877)

the bulk of this talk will be under the cut but tl;dr is that arachnids still offer a lot of potential, beetles and moths live in the neath and were popular at the time, and there are a lot of lesser-known bugs that fit fallen london

also cw for bug images because there’s a lot of them beyond here, this is for people with good taste only

firstly: arachnids

FL has a lot of arachnids and this year’s whitsun saw the introduction of a squirrel with a scorpion tail! i think it’s a fun design personally, but arachnid companions are Not obsolete. the most relevant arachnids are crabs, and crabs are more varied than you might think!

(image by abc.net.au)

the yeti crab was the first crab to come to mind, related to hermit crabs and living in hydrothermal vents in the deep ocean. it means we’ve got another underground beast, and could you imagine this as a spired crab? it could be the product of shapeling arts, and the yeti crab’s famously hairy arms have the potential to be used as arm warmers or 1890s uggs for the discerning londoner!

there’s also the japanese giant spider crab, which might be more lanky than it’s neathy angler crab cousins, but look at those legs! how big do you think it is? how about taller than the average person?

you have to understand how badly i want to be this man they also inhabit vents near the bottom of the ocean (the crabs, not this man), they’re omnivores and one specimen’s measured in at 3.8 metres (12ft) across its outstretched legs! it’d probably be a dreaded companion by the sheer size of it, but imagine the walking sticks you could get from those legs

arrowhead crabs and horseshoe crabs are also runners up for this!

mites also came to mind, being small arachnids- the mite above is an adult female tea mite, and not much is known about mites! they’re primitive but have a terrible reputation, and FBG have shone the spotlight on other unloved creatures in the past. there’s also Caveat Emptor which tells us that the bazaar has parasites which are probably like mites? you could have your own romance vampire, surely nothing could go wrong

and if you’ve come here for spiders, how about the pelican spider? with a pelican-like head, pelican spiders prey exclusively on other spiders! isn’t that a fun way to counter sorrow spider infestations? introducing new species is a good thing, right?

higher tiers of this companion could start to own the whole pelican thing. i’ve seen monster designs of spiders with human heads but never a spider with a pelican head!

(image by me)

all he needs is some love and spiders

close arachnid contenders that i want to mention before this whole post is made up of eight-legged companions: camel spiders, harvestmen, and whip scorpions!

secondly: beetles

as john b. s. haldane once said, “god has an inordinate fondness for beetles”. and he’s right because there are more known species of beetle than types of mammal

in fact, the victorians fucking loved beetles (and butterflies but we’ll get to that)

we have phosphorescent scarabs as luminosity items and a few mentions of beetles in airs texts and in sunless sea, the latter where a beetle has been eating through your ship’s supplies. being from england, i have a vague idea of what sort of beetles would end up in london!

there are still stag beetles, rove beetles, and even cardinal beetles, but these by themselves might feel pretty basic. they’d be good t1 companions, but why not have a companion that’s a whole insect keeping setup? there’s even some colourful beauties like the scarlet malachite beetle which are now incredibly endangered

but if you want something Huge and Large and easily convertible into a fashion accessory, hercules beetles have a lot of potential! horns that can be used for knives in dockside brawls, or you could take most of the bug features and place them on a furry animal like a guinea pig since seas already gave us the guinea page

these beetles could also add diversity for the phosphorescent scarabs- and speaking of phosphorescent beetles, why not look to fireflies? they aren’t fire and nor are they flies, but to carry on with FBG’s habit of “slapping animals together to see what happens”, you could easily make something with the features of a firefly larvae

or you could take the even more interesting approach of having a grub the size of a cat, for example. hercules beetles have some of the largest larvae and the feast of the rose gave us maggots, so why not have one of these babies but the size of a cat? and glowing? they’re a possible light source that might make you more bizarre or respectable

a close runner up that i wanted to mention was diving beetles and how freaky they can get if they’ve adapted to the zee but the sabretooth longhorn beetle is going to close this segment as an embodiment of a dangerous and respectable companion- it already looks like it’s been carved out of wood! i think a carved polythreme beetle would be incredible

(see also: bombardier beetles, weevils, oil beetles, tiger beetles, harlequin beetles, trilobite beetles, and giraffe weevils!)

moths, and less commonly found underground, butterflies

another love of the victorians: butterflies!

butterflies are basically moths by a different name (there are way more moths than butterflies) and we do have canon dreams where a frostmoth the size of your head appears in your window, and wouldn’t that be useful for hunting in parabola? much like the beetles, there’s a lot of diversity that can be explored especially if we add shapeling arts

white plume moths are also found in the UK and just look at those wings

we can have a usual approach of adding the wings to something else, like a particularly unlucky bat, or just have something bizarre with the moth itself! more eyes? more eyes has been a common theme lately, or you can combine an insect with an arachnid and give it whip scorpion hands

these wings would be one hell of a decoration because white plume moths are considered to be micromoths

on the other end of the spectrum and taking the role of a respectable companion, the white witch moth is considered to be one of the largest insects on earth because of its wingspan! maybe they’re a more risky cousin of the frostmoth, maybe you could turn the markings on these wings into shifting sigils? don’t set your moths on fire

(image by Acrocynus)

white witch moths themselves have a lot of diversity while cup moths are another contender for an animal you could combine with another animal

(image by itchydogimages)

why not add the tail of a squirrel to this one? or a scorpion’s tail? a lion? with enough of these, you could end up with a very striking tawny coat. this thing is the embodiment of being neathproofed. even if they’re opposites of frostmoths and are associated with embers because of it, or if the tail is closer to being a candle!

moths are also good at mimicking in order to defend themselves, which is why you see so many moths and butterflies with eye patterns on their wings. birds hate eyes so much so there’s room for some real eyes on your brand new butterfly or moth companion

but some moths also mimic snakes, so for any fingerking fans out there: behold the atlas moth

this is such a mithridacy companion. can you imagine the t3 version of this where the snake heads are alive? we have a two-headed terror bird, so why not snakes on a moth? there’s even jokes to be made about one head telling truths and another telling lies, maybe the only head that could tell you the difference is the moths!

for butterflies themselves, we have butterflies that drink the tears of alligators and tortoises- so melancholy butterflies that only appear to feed on lacre? (and they might not be butterflies down here, you might’ve already mistaken a day-flying moth for a butterfly, not that the difference matters for much in the neath)

another strong mention is vampire moths if we’re carrying on the theme of insects drinking odd things, but a vampire moth with bat wings could be wonderful at ruining the lives of taxonomists

luna moths are also massive and could be more fitting now that we know who the creditor is, and that whitsun is talking so much about the bazaar and the masters

other lesser-known but interesting insects

we don’t entirely need to cover bees and wasps but it would be nice to have a piece of media showing wasps in a way that doesn’t present them as evil, but wasps could wait until hell is really significant again since wasps and bees are incredibly cool cousins. and thread waisted wasps!

(image by Bev Wigney)

get a load of that! these don’t even have the ability to sting humans, what would a thread waisted wasp-themed spindlewolf look like? how much shadowy with something with these colours give you? imagine the corsets inspired by these things

assassin bugs are another dangerous option considering how good they are at hunting other insects, and the neath wouldn’t be complete without more creatures that burrow underground and can find themselves in this weird cavern

(image by Fir0002)

their forearms are specifically developed to dig! perhaps they can dig through a rival’s belongings, or perhaps you can fashion their claws into brass knuckles or a belt buckle?

(image by faraaz abdool)

another fashionable, lesser-known invert is the velvet worm! we have plenty of slugs in fallen london, but you know what they’re lacking? legs

about 200 species of velvet worms have been described and they’re already quite rare! they all fall under the onychophora name and there isn’t anything else like them. you could easily have some persuasive with this, or if you turn it into a stole that can hold however many hands you want!

(image by docj96)

also, thrips! i found out about these today and apparently you’re likely to hear about them if you’re into gardening. sometimes they have crab claws for forelegs, so hey- more bazaar similarities! they have an interesting method of flight (clapping their wings together) but this might not bee too impactful unless you want a novel way to raise your investigating

flies are also criminally underrated, but i couldn’t tell you how many flies live in fallen london. stalk-eyed flies, however, are gorgeous things that would work so well as t2 companions! you could even go all out with a horsefly taking on attributes of an actual horse

(image by minden pictures)

the stalk eyed fly sees you five minutes before you can see it

there are genuinely so many more that come to mind (even neathy types of mantis- orchid mantids that have adapted to blend in with mushrooms! imagine!) but a good way to finish this off is with a love story

there are centipedes who will guard and hold their young close to them! giant centipedes are protective mothers and you can get hundreds of companions in one- or perhaps just one companion who really misses her hundreds of kids. and they hold their eggs just as carefully whilst waiting for them to hatch!

isn’t that a good love story? there’s a lot you can combine this with, but i’ve spent most of today writing this one! do with these creatures what you will, i definitely enjoyed talking about neathy possibilities for insects!

(bogleech also has a fantastic article on insects that should be used as the basis for pokemon designs, if you want even more out there bugs be sure to look here)