#by sending an ask like dis 4 example ^_^

[bimiio]

So what’s a Butch daddy gotta do to get your attention?

just show me dat u want me <33

[makeitagood0neao3]

Weather Me To Nothing (1/4)

Pairing: Dark!Paul Atreides x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3,916

Summary: Reader is the heir to the throne with an impossible choice to make. Torn between protecting her sisters and finding her way in the universe, will she make the right choice?

Warnings: Dark!Paul Atreides. 18+ only! Explicit sexual content. Arranged Marriage. Non con. See tags for more.

A/N: Welcome and enjoy! Comment and kudos are always welcome <3 Crumble like a temple built from future daughters, To wasteland when the oceans recede.

Read Part 2

The chamber is so quiet, the heels of your shoes echo off the walls as you approach the throne. He is sitting on his gold throne, the House Corrino crest behind him. The lion is bright, making you blink hard as it reflects the light simulating daylight. Behind you, the heavy doors that offer complete privacy clang shut, sealing you in. The hall is nearly empty with only his most trusted advisors and Mentats present. A controlled amount of witnesses. As a child, the sight of the Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV would stop you in your tracks until your mother swept you into her arms and carried you to him. As his eldest child, you were a representation of not only the House, but your younger sisters as well. Now an adult, every movement you make it watched, hesitations noted. Should the tempo of your gait falter, it will be documented. You father still fills the room, though not in size. You once imaged him as huge, the size of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen.

Your father has aged. Perhaps only you can see how his shoulders slump in his chair, though you know his physicality is not a representation of his power. Even now, as you pass by scattered members of his court, you can sense their tension, their straight spines and clenched jaws. He doesn’t need to raise his hand to strike anyone down, including you. When your mother died, he made you an example of your sister’s behavior in front of his followers. The last time you were here just mere weeks ago was the most furious you’ve ever seen him, though his wrath didn’t end in physical punishment.

Playing the long game, he knew to keep you waiting on your planet. Day by day with your toes in the warm sand on the shore, night by night kept distracted from your studies and instead obsessing over this moment, waiting for the moment he would call upon you to return. The Emperor is always a step ahead and you’ve always been clumsy.

Impulsive. Insolent. A disgrace.

You keep your gaze low, though your chin level, every click of your heel is a countdown until you are in front of him. You half bow, a sign of respect, though you have none for the man. When you meet his gaze, you ensure a light smile is on your lips, as if happy to see him. He meets you with the same grin, the crows feet around his eyes deepening. You learned as a child that his throne is also a stage. A place where he can play any role he chooses.

The forgiving Emperor. The doting father. The aging fanatic.

“Daughter. Thank you for arriving so quickly. I hate to take you away from your studies.”

“I answer every call from my Emperor and father,” you smile back. Knowing he wants to hear this above all else, you assure him of your loyalty to him and his empire.

“I have been reflecting on your most recent transgressions against this family and I believe I have found a way for you to atone.”

“I ask again, where is the evidence of this transgression?” You challenged lightly.

You still don’t agree that sending an anonymous warning to Duke Leto that his mission on Arrakis was an attack on his family and House was a transgression. Treason against the Emperor, yes. No one in this court had proof it was you, except for your outspoken disagreement before him and his council. It took hours to slip away from your guards and lure the transmissions Mentat away from his post. The message was sent, but it seems too late. He was reported dead before dawn.

He lowers his chin, his angular face pointing at you like a bird of prey, ready to snatch you from the spot with his talons. It takes everything in your to keep your hands still at your sides, to not pick or clench your fingers. Behind you, the sound of the heavy doors open. You don’t take your eyes off of the predator in front of you, though, a coy smile on your lips. Heavy footsteps echo as the visitors approach. Refusing to give into him, you keep your gaze fixed ahead.

“You have been of age for quite some time. As my oldest daughter, I have saved your union for a worthy ally. I have found the most loyal of them to strengthen the empire!” He says this with enthusiasm, deep in his deluded belief. Everything he does is to strengthen his position.

Your smile falters, lips pressed tightly as you clasp your hands together in front of you, hoping to prevent them from shaking. You knew this was coming, one day. Though as the least poised and submissive daughter in his line, you doubted he would risk marrying you off with an ally. Keen on keeping your nose in books and studies on your quiet planet, you have successfully avoided meeting most eligible matches while portraying the attitude of aloof. Most of the wealthy bachelors don’t want to work too hard to woo someone smarter than them. Someone who has everything and is impressed by nothing. You have tried to instill this in your younger sisters to no avail.

His pleased expression is not enough to convince you that this is not a punishment. Atonements in House Corrino are paid in blood. Duke Leto atoned for his House’s success in the empire with his. Your mother paid for it when she died in child labor. Though you share a bloodline with the Emperor, you are subject to the same kind of cruelty.

The footsteps are loud and thunderous before the stop directly behind you, an ominous shadow. You can feel their gaze on your back, but you are too afraid to see who it is. Too afraid of giving your father the satisfaction of your dismay on your face. To your right, a large form invades your space, standing so his shoulder nearly grazes yours.

At least a head taller than you, the brother of the beast, Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen. He’s lean, made of chiseled muscle built to slaughter his enemies. His pale skin is contrasted by his black armor. His hairless head emphasizes his deep set black eyes. He doesn’t spare you a glance, instead keeping his attention on the Emperor. You turn back to your father, eyes wide as you shake your head. Always ready with a quip, you are truly speechless. This man killed his own father and not known for his brain, but his brutality.

This is the man your father settles you with?

“Feyd-Rautha has come a long way, Y/N.”

“Father-”

“How is the Dune, Feyd?”

“Spice production is higher than ever, thanks to the harvesters you delivered, Emperor.” It comes out in a rasp, mimicking the sound of his uncle’s voice without the depth.

Dune. You hated that fucking planet having spent an entire standard year there as punishment for something you can’t even remember. The moon the locals referred to as The Hand Of God prevented you from communicating with your sisters while there. Completely excommunicated, when the sun set, you were expected to dine with Vladimir and his kin and most nights you did.

On the rare occasion he wasn’t present, he left you alone with Feyd-Rautha. Neither of them kept it secret that they desired you to join the Harkonnen family permanently. Vladimir complimented your intelligence and strategic mind, while assuring you that your figure could carry and birth a healthy army of great nephews for him.

When your sentence was complete, you left with your skin hot and dry, without so much as a glance back. Upon your arrival, you nearly begged your father to never send you back. He gave you his word so long as you understood your place was behind him and his decisions, you were free from Arrakis.

To keep you from further embarrassing him and his legacy, he sent you on the sabbatical you had currently been on. Out of the way, out of sight, out of mind.

“Do you plan on staying on Arrakis or does your uncle’s business require you on Giedi Prime?”

“I will remain on Arrakis to ensure the production of Spice doesn’t stop. My brother has other responsibilities. My priority right now is to find the remaining members of House Atreides.” There’s a layer of humor in his tone. As if he isn’t standing before one of the most terrifying men in the universe. Perhaps he doesn’t believe he is.

Your head snaps to look at him. For being on a desert planet the majority of his life, he words are cold, lifeless. He would kill anyone his uncle told him to and not contemplate any differently. This man took on three of the best Harkonnen slave fighters in a gladiator game recently and left the arena without a scratch.

A marriage to Feyd-Rautha would mean a lifetime of breeding on a planet so hot it could kill you within two hours in the sand without a Stillsuit. The Harkonnen home planet is no better. Time passes slower, a standard year is almost three of that on Arrakis. It’s heavily industrialized, without oceans or forests. A heavy layer of fog covers the planet, blocking out the stars. If there are any visible nearby. Juxtaposed to the quiet sounds of shifting sand on Arrakis, their planet is loud and booming. No. That is not a life you can live.

“Be sure when you find the son, he is not injured. The other houses in the Empire are not pleased with the way they were handled. There has been chatter amongst them. We don’t want to give them more to talk about.”

An Emperor, no matter how powerful, is nothing without followers. Two Houses are nothing against the legions of the known universe.

“What will you do when you find him?” I ask, curious as to what his fate will be if he isn’t going to kill him.

“Prepare him for your wedding ceremony, of course.” This stuns me and at my stillness, Feyd-Rautha turns to face me. You don’t move, unable to comprehend the strategy of this game. “You are to be married to Paul Atreides. Imagine my surprise when we found out he was alive. I was further surprised when he asked for the hand of one of my daughters. A plea for peace and an alliance.”

“What about Irulan?”

“Irulan is the eldest. She is meant for a worthy match. You seemed to enjoy your time on Arrakis. Making allies with the local swine.”

You don’t speak, stunned for the third time in this discussion. How does he, and to what extend, does he know about your involvement with the Fremen? The help you offered was limited, they mostly refused your help, but you did what you could while there. And you were discrete, not even the Baron knew of your treachery.

Feyd narrows his eyes at you, assessing. He’s wondering why you over your sisters. The answer is simple. Your infertility makes you the perfect match for the bloodline that survived an assassination. The Atreides line will not continue if Paul weds you. Is Paul a vengeful man? What will he do to you when he finds out? Perhaps that’s the Emperor’s hope.

The hand of your father’s cruelty.

“You would give a beloved daughter to the son of the man you had murdered?”

“I like to think of it as ‘removed.’”

“It was an assassination. Who’s to say he won’t take revenge on you by killing me?” It’s the perfect solution to the problem you continue to be for him and is enough of a reason to declare war against House Atreides. He’d have the support of the whole universe.

You slump, shoulders no longer pulled back as your spine bends. The weight of your future is too heavy to hold. Your eyes drop to the floor, unable to keep them on your father, your executioner. Perhaps it’s safer with Feyd-Rautha and you can’t believe that’s the corner you've been backed into.

“That is why, dear daughter, you will kill him before he has the chance to.”

Feyd opens a pocket over his chest and pulls out a teardrop shaped vial with a blue liquid inside. It’s small in his palm as he holds it out to me. You stare at it, afraid that touching it will mean you am agreeing to this.

“This came from one of the herbalists. They found the plant deep underground on Arrakis. It’s a very old mixture that will put one into a deep sleep they won’t wake from. You are a humanitarian, so I have ensured it will be painless.” Feyd voice is kind, but you know it’s one of his manipulations. It was likely his uncle who decided on this poison.

“Is this a Bene Gesserit tincture?” You ask your father. His lips curl just slightly at the edges. You shake your head in disbelief. “I can’t kill some-”

“Your interference before is why he is still alive. A loose thread and a threat to this family, to your sisters. Imagine the pain you have caused him, by allowing him to survive.” Your father’s voice from his seat is clear and firm. It is an order you can’t deny, regardless of my convictions.

“And what will I get for this act of loyalty for my Emperor?” I ask him, countering.

He is pleased, his talons curling over the arms of the chair. He pulls himself up and walks half way down the stairs to where we stand. Still keeping the high ground, but seemingly meeting you halfway.

“You get to be free. Free to continue your studies, on whatever planet you wish, and with whomever you wish, or alone.”

It’s too good to be true. He knows being left alone and away from the politics and his bidding is all you desire. You would relinquish your name, title, everything, just for peace. You weigh the options.

If you refuse, you are forced to marry the worst the universe has to offer, forced to stay within the Emperor’s reach as he murders anyone who stands in the way of him and House Atreides. If you agree, it is painless for Paul and only one casualty has to perish. The universe will think it was the Fremen who murdered him and you can live as a widow, tainted by the Atreides heir, alone wherever you choose.

Feyd-Rautha, for once, has read you correctly. You are a humanitarian and knowing you have taken the suffering of your sisters for them, knows you will also save as many people as you can.

You turn to Feyd, palms sweaty with anxiety, and take the vial.

The harsh, unforgiving sun eclipses Dune as the Emperor’s Flagship approaches the planet. You are seated in the haul, a Sardaukar guard on either side of you. Two is light protection, but since you are traveling to a planet with almost the entirety of the Harkonnen army, they are really operating as a formal escort.

Your repeated requests to say goodbye to your sisters were denied. The Emperor commanded you to take immediate leave for Arrakis. Feyd-Rautha nearly drug you from the chamber and to his ship, the rest of his posse stomping closely behind.

You hate to admit it, but for now, Feyd is your biggest protector during this transaction. He sits across from you, his face calm as he watches you like a predator, waiting for the moment to strike. His eyes drop to your chest, where the vial of poison hands around your neck beneath your shawl. It’s cold, the glass hasn’t warmed to the temperature of your skin. You don’t expect it will, either.

Once you arrive, Feyd will escort you to Arrakeen where you will surely dine with the Baron. The day after before dawn, Fed will escort you to meet Paul at a neutral place for the ceremony. Without the chance to say goodbye to your sisters, it’s difficult to imagine seeing them again. Being sent to this desert feels like an exile this time. After you complete the task given to you, you’ll be altered, different. Will your sisters even recognize you after this?

The ship enters the atmosphere and begins descending to the ground. Several Sardaukar ships accompanied by the Harkonnen fleet have landed before you, setting a safety perimeter for the flagship to land. The ship connects with the ground and settles, your guards standing before you. You stand as well, pausing in the middle of the haul as you wait for the door to open. Feyd-Rautha is next to you, preventing the Sardaukar guard from taking his position, invading your space.

“Don’t think I am as foolish as I pretend to be,” if he had eyebrows, they’d be furrowed in his glare.

“I don’t-” Your voice is cut off by his firm hand on your bicep, causing the Sardaukar to place their hands on their swords, though they don’t draw them.

“This arrangement to the Atreides bastard is an insult to my uncle and House Harkonnen. We have done your father’s bidding for generations.”

“Then contact my father for payment.“ Furious he thinks he has the right to place his hands on you, you cannot stop venom that drips in your words.

“You will not leave this planet without me as a husband. I have waited long enough.” He says it with so much confidence. Though unpredictable, he’s never been this aggressive. What makes him think that your guard, the tactical warriors more brutal than Harkonnen’s, won’t remove every one of his extremities if he touches you?

“It’s time you let me go,” you say, though he doesn’t release you. “In more ways than one, it seems.” Your eyes drag from his to the warrior beside you, who appears ready to attack, but is hesitating. If this were anyone else, their swords would have been drawn.

Feyd-Rautha glances at the guard behind you as he leans forward, a fraction closer, before finally dropping your arm. He is testing the boundary line, waiting to be stopped. He turns and leads you out. Before following behind, you glance behind you at your guards, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. It’s a warning to not hesitate again.

The dry and suffocating heat is immediately pressed upon you as you stop into the sun. Doing your best not to flinch at the wind cutting into your skin, you hold your chin level and keep your eyes on him. He is more impulsive than you recall, making him all the more dangerous. He’s approaching a Thropper, hundreds of Harkonnen surrounding the landing zone. They make a show of greeting you, an extension of the Emperor himself.

You call to him when he is halfway up the ramp. He stops and turns, only giving you half his physical attention. You come to a dead stop just before the ramp. Without dropping your smirk, your eyes drop to the step before meeting his. Elegantly, you pull your arm out from beneath your shawl, reaching for him. His eyes drop to your hand as he contemplates.

Though the wealthiest in the Empire, accumulating more wealth than even the Emperor, Harkonnens live in a primitive mindset. Women are not their equal nor worthy of their respect. They are warriors first, the ultimate toxic masculine. You are still a lady, however, and unable to resist knocking him down a peg in front of his warriors.

Still unsure how you will get yourself out of this without murder or marrying anyone, if Feyd-Rautha is right, and you are forced to marry him, you need his men to understand you are not a dog on leash. Their traditions don’t apply to you and you won’t be treated any differently than you currently are.

Finally, he agrees to play this game. Walking down the ramp, he steps off to the side. Once his feet are on the same ground as you, he returns the smirk and offers you his hand. You take it and step onto the ramp. His hand steadies you as you walk up before releasing you once you’re too high. Before your guard can follow, he’s on the ramp again, trailing closely behind you.

His sigh of displeasure is immediate as soon as you find your seat at the front behind the controls. He stands next to you, but you pay him no mind as you buckle yourself in.

“I insist-”

“As do I.” Not even glancing at him as you begin to flip on the overhead switches, starting the motor and engines. You take the aviation headset that rests on the steering handle and put it on. Your actions are enough to silence him, so he sits in the chair beside you, muttering something in Galach you can’t catch from beneath the headset.

The engine reverberates through the floor and sand swirls on either side of the glass when the propellers start. A guard behind you raises the ramp and when it closes, you lift off.

You didn’t think it was possible for this planet to become any more plain, but it has. Mounds of sand surround you in every direction. The spice on the top layer glimmering in the sun, reflecting it’s bright hue back to you. It’s hot even in the Thropper so you slide the shawl off of your shoulders. A fraction of your skin is on display around the thick straps of your dress.

A few hundred meters in front of you, a shimmering object catches your sight. Angling the Thropper toward it, you slow and see it’s a brand new spice harvester. The gears inside the machine tracks are free of rust and the steel casings aren’t discolored from the spice. Your father has spared no expense.

“These are bigger,” Feyd-Rautha’s voice comes through your headset. “We’ve been harvesting one and a half times more a month than ever before. Each comes with an entourage to keep the locals at bay.” His eyes are on you when you turn to look at him, but he’s focused on your shoulder. Fighting the eye roll, you turn back to the window and see two Throppers circling above the harvester, no doubt armed.

You don’t agree with the treatment of the Fremen or the aggression shown to them. This is their planet, their commodity. If anything, your father should be paying them to allow his presence here. It takes a hard people to live here, you can’t imagine ever adjusting to the effects of spice.

Even now, your heart rate speeds up and you attempt to slow your breath. The spice kicked up from the harvester is now filtering through into the Thropper, leaving you to blink hard to focus. Most experience mild hallucinations, but in the year you spent here, it just made you paranoid and unsteady. It heightened sensations and slowed your movements. How can the Harkonnen’s be so unaffected? You regain control over your mental state and continue on.

Landing at the capital, Arrakeen, your guards exit before you. Halfway down the ramp, Feyd-Rautha’s large, pale hand is extended for you to take. You accept, stepping off, and following him as he leads you towards your room. Once there, behind the closed door, you sit in the nearest chair and breathe deep, trying to steady yourself.

Read Part 2

[thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog]

911 Spoilers Season 5: You’ve been warned. 😅 Buddie Rewatch

Episode 4: Home and Away

Chimney is rewatching Maddie’s video, replaying it obsessively. Buck knocks on the door, calling out to Chim, telling him he can hear him and to open the door. After a few moments, Buck unlocks the door and allows himself in. Buck stands at the entrance with concern on his face as he looks toward Chim.

Buck slowly walks towards Chim, repeating his name and trying to get his attention. Chimney finally responds, there is frustration in his tone. Buck proceeds to tell him that he needs to stop, that Maddie left, it’s not a big deal, it’s something she does.

Buck is very matter of fact about the situation. Maddie just needs distance. Maddie always leaves. He’s dismissive of Chimney’s concerns. So, he’s not really dismissive, because he acknowledges that his concerns are valid, but he is treating the situation differently than Chim.

As Chim is showing Buck the video Maddie made and bringing up possible explanations to justify her leaving, and needing help; Buck is not taking Chim’s concerns as valid. Buck is bringing up excuses for Maddie and telling Chim that the situation will correct itself.

This moment really showcases Buck’s relationship with Maddie. Buck is obviously use to seeing this side of her. He’s not phased by her leaving, he kind of just expects it at this point.  What Buck fails to realize is this situation is not identical to the other moments of his past with her. Buck isn’t trying to be an asshole in this scene, but he comes a cross that way. To be fair it’s difficult to feel apart of this situation.  This moment really solidifies that Buck is use to being left.

High School Parade – The 118 arrive at scene. Ravi and Buck run up to the turned over Truck. Working together to break the windshield and check on the driver. They mark the driver as dead.  Buck questions if the accident was intentional and with further discussion with Bobby it is determined that the deceased did not do this on purpose.

Hen and Eddie run up to a cheerleader on the ground. Eddie is the one to pronounce her dead. They spot another cheerleader injured and run up to her. The cheerlead is barley conscious, but is able to speak. She repeatedly says the name Makaila, after being asked her name,

Ravi and Buck run up to the teacher pinned to the benches, they call over Bobby to look over the situation. They create a plan to extract the victim.

Eddie closes the Ambulance door and sends it away when two parents run over to him asking about their daughter. Believing the injured party was named Makaila he tells them that she is on the way to the hospital. The parents also ask him about her friend Casey, and he explains that there was another cheerleader who died on scene.

Ravi and Buck stabilize the structure the teacher is pinned down on. Ravi points out the truck is on fire; this is when it is discovered that chlorine gas was in the truck.  

The 118 suit up and wear gas masks.  Buck is working to cut the victim out of the benches with a saw. They are able to get the teacher out and place him in an ambulance.

This particular rescue is a perfect example of Buck and Eddie being separated as partners. Not that I don’t love Hen and Eddie working closely together or Ravi and Buck working together. It’s just something I noticed in my rewatch that Eddie and Buck are being separated more and more.  I love that we see them develop their other relationships in the 118, but I can’t ignore that they likely separated the two because they wanted us Buddie shippers to calm down a bit.

Hospital- Eddie comments, “Not my favorite day.” Hen and Eddie have a moment acknowledging how difficult the rescue was. This is when the parents that approached them at the scene, approaches them again at the hospital.

The parents thank Hen and Eddie for rescuing their daughter. Eddie asks the parents if they know the other victim, which they respond with yes, she was their daughter’s best friend.  Hen and Eddie both are visibly upset and empathetic to the situation.

Casey’s parents approach the group. Hen and Eddie watch as the families comfort each other. The parents of the deceased notices blood on Eddies neck, causing them to break down in tears, and Eddie is awkwardly holding his neck. Eddie offers to take the parents to see their deceased daughter to identify the body.

 Eddie stands behind the parents, head down allowing them time to process.

Eddie’s head shoots up with concern when the parents reveal that it is not their daughter on the table. Concern and worry is written all over Eddie’s face.

Eddie approaches Hen and explains to Hen the current situation and how they may have misidentified the girls.  

Eddie and Hen are sitting on the bench, they look anxious. Eddie leaned over, hand claps together when a doctor walks over and confirms that they mis identified the victims. Hen offers to break the news. Eddie asks her if she’s sure and she confirms she has to be the one to break the news.

In the hall way as Hen breaks the news to the parents. As the parents process the news, they collapse on to the floor. Eddie approaches with the other parents as this happens and the parents comfort each other.  

While the families embrace, Eddie and Hen stand near each other, watching the moment. Both having a look of sadness on their faces.

Buck’s loft - Buck opens the door to Chimney who reveals he just learned what happened with Maddie and Jee-Yun.

Something to note here is that Chim knocks on the door and Buck lets him in. We know Buck has a key to Chim’s place because he let himself in earlier in the episode. But does Buck have a key to Chim’s apartment because of his sister or because the 118 decided that they all will have each other’s keys. We know Eddie has a key to Buck’s apartment and vise versa, but do Hen and Bobby also have a key. I may make a separate post on the topic because this small detail can really impact the trust/intimacy in Buck and Eddies relationship and build an even stronger foundation for Buddie.

Chim is excited and urgent when he tells Buck his new found knowledge. Buck is stern and combative to Chim’s hopes and desire to chase after Maddie.

Buck’s reaction makes Chim realize that Buck knew why Maddie left the whole time. Chim’s initial excitement turns to anger.

Chim is visibly more upset and angrier and as Buck is tries to justify his actions,  Chim throws a punch, hitting Buck in the eye and storms out.

Buck is left in his loft, hands on the dinning room table, dumbfounded and processing what just happened.

Buck’s balcony-  Buck is sitting outside, Eddie walks in from the kitchen with two beers in hand. Eddie makes a joke, “nothing wrong with his aim” as he hands Buck one of the beers.

Eddie leans against the balcony wall and Buck admits to understanding why Chim hit him, but also feeling justified in what he did.

Buck explains that he really thought he could help Chim and Maddie at the same time. Believing if he let Maddie do what she always does and comforting Chim in the process that everything will eventually fix itself. Buck states, “Kind of feels like I failed on both fronts.”

Eddie takes a sip of his beer and point blank tells Buck that he was always destined to fail.

Buck points out that the statement is kind of harsh and Eddie elaborates on his point.

Eddie points out that Buck loves Maddie and loves Chimney and that Buck is the guy that loves to fix things, but that this isn’t something that he can fix.

Buck is combative towards Eddie, stating that Chimney wasn’t being rational and that he knows his sister and that Chim just doesn’t know her the way he does.

Eddie is quick to tell Buck, “Or maybe you don’t know her the way he does.” Basically, starts explaining to Buck that he knows one version of Maddie, the Maddie that is his older sister. Chimney knows a different Maddie, one that he is the one to know what she needs.

There is a slight pause, Buck is taking in what Eddie just said and then asks him if he thinks Chimney will ever forgive him. Jokingly Eddie says no, pauses and then says maybe. Both Buck and Eddie take a swig of their beers and Eddie reminds Buck to put the ice back on his eye.

Chim is packing up his car- Buck is calling Chim, Chim ignores the call.

[kickthecan-revolution]

Round 4 infusion day:

I started the day very anxious, a colleague of mine reached out and let me know that she was also in treatment and it turned out that it’s my same exact cancer.

Some of the things that she said triggered a lot of questions for me, it was hard to go to sleep. My initial heart rate in the first lab was really elevated and they were slightly concerned, and then it got even more elevated as I sat in the chair. I was asking the staff and my doctor a ton of questions but I wasn’t listening to the answers, I was just talking over them.

R gently observed that I was in a lot of anxiety and it was likely because I had inadvertently violated my boundary of not wanting to know much about my type of cancer and that I would only ask questions and get information from my doctor. My colleague was obviously very well intended but it turned out to trigger a lot of anxiety that showed up physically for me today. It was just such an insightful observation and I know it’s going to lead to some important shadow work.

My physical experience during the infusion was also different today, I had some pain, the cold capping was hard, I was very dizzy and absolutely exhausted. I basically slept for four or five hours straight, I would wake up for Cold Capping but would almost fell asleep in the middle of it.

When I finally woke up, R showed me some pictures that she had taken and we absolutely died laughing, the kind of belly laughing that sears into your memory. So much so that the nurses came in to see what was so funny and they said how amazing it was to hear so much fun and joy in a place that’s so hard.

We ended up sending the picture to the head of Retail Into a few others and just left even harder. Our dark humor got dark, just the way I like it. The “You Shall Not Pass….literally” was the cherry on top of the sundae.

We finally got home, ordered some food for dinner and then she helped me arrange my furniture - when you walk into her house, it’s immediately beautiful, comfortable and pragmatic all at the same time, and she also has three cats so she knows what it means to be a cat lady. I wanted to use some of that expertise and so asked her if she had any ideas and we ended up changing so much – it made me emotional, I love it so much. We also bought a couple of really beautiful plants the day before to bring some color and life, some good additions to all of the white in here. I can’t wait for them to get here tomorrow.

All the sudden I had to go to bed, I got pretty tired again. I hugged her for a really long time and told her a grateful I am that someone who loves others so well – better than anyone I know - is in my life. It’s an example to me of love and grace I don’t deserve but I am so thankful that I have it. How she makes me a better human being.

It was a lot for her to go through today, people who love us who have to see us vulnerable, in pain can suffer - there was a lot she didn’t expect. But she did it and she still made me laugh. What a friend. 

[tornoleander]

Wow, you're the beta reader for bbnb? I didn't know that. (So you can confirm that Hat is infact not dead because I haven't seen any activity from them in a while and my brain always jumps to worst case scenarios)

Anyway, definitely didn't forget to respond for like a week, but here are some of my theories/scenarios:

-I still think Cole's the one who'll remember bits and pieces because A. He's a ghost B. Hat used he/him when talking about who will remember and C. It would be incredibly emotionaly impactful

-HOWEVER, I think Pixal could also remember some stuff. None of the emotional stuff but she did technically die when Nadakhan erased her. Besides, it could be fun to see her try to let Jay or Nya know she remembers while still stuck to Zane.

-also Zane's falcon died but he was never mentioned in this fic so 😔

-Jay DEFINITELY has c-ptsd. Like, 100%, I'm sure the nurse/psychologist whose name I forgor would agree with me

-I'm pretty sure Wu just died by some falling island or something like that. Or he could've died by the storm, that would be cool.

-I know he said that swearing is a sign of weak verbal skills but I feel like Jay would start swearing more for comfort. Like, Nadakhan hated it but never truly did anything horrible to him because of it :)

most of the scenarios in my head play out with the ninja being captured again

-for example, Jay using his internal electricity to shock someone when they all have vengestone

-or them getting tazed and Jay sending the current back like he did in the electric chair

-or they're all traped and saying shit like "there's no other option" or something and Jay replying with "suicide's still an option" like that's a normal thing to say which obviously worries the others

And then there's the non captured scenarios

-something something Jay falling into autopilot after being told/asked to clean to ship and ends up also cleaning the hull "Why are you cleaning the bottom? We're in the air and you're not even tied to anything???" ".... trauma response?"

-or just straight up Jay having a panic attack out of seemingly sowhere (Cole said he wished he could eat cake again)

Anyway, those are the things I could think of right now, there's more but it's 3:39am and I'm tired :3

Hope it's not too long lol

Yep! As of ch 15. Me and hat have been chatting for a while and I bug them for feedback on Art accuracy so I help them with some writing corrections too!

I have been working on beta reading earlier chapters as well currently half way through 4. It is certainly an experience but now I yell my feelings into comment instead of just the void

*reaches through horrific horror to correct spelling mistake.

Yup Hat is alive! They were just fixated on something else for a while but they are back.

Ok now for scenarios

-Cole remembering bits……. I will refrain from giving my thoughts.

-Pixal and Zane’s falcon died pretty early so I do think they may remember up till then but It probably wouldn’t help understand much.

-I don’t think Wu died? But it’s not impossible.

-CPTSD?

I will ask hat about this one but seeing as bbnb events qualify as at least 4/6 of these causes of it AND ptsd is a tag I’m going to give it a yeah. Cause non complex ptsd is typically less prolonged.

-the swearing I do think he might do more but not necessarily for comfort

-For your head scenarios I am not sure all the ways hat is planned show how the events of the fic messed him up. But I know they’re a big fan of consequences for events…

From what I’m guessing he is going to be trying his best to hide everything and it’ll be somewhat canon compliant? But to be fair He is pretty consistently the most mentally unstable ninja. Take This with a big grain of salt I’m saving the analysis for my skybound video, but his behavior does generally line up well with SA surivers. the first time that Jays a prisoner post Skybound is when he says “You don’t argue with a man who’s navel is that close”

Which

Drives me insane by the way

Side tangent, I’ve been doing a lot of Skybound digging for my eventual video essay. And my current best theory on why this is a line has to do with SA of men being played for laughs.

Like older audiences are supposed to hear that and find it fucking funny. It’s unfortunately not uncommon in kids programming. My quest to best explain why S6 is so uncomfortable has been… enlightening. Terrified of approaching a controversial topic so I have been learning a-lot about approach and how to not be awful. But my fixation is being channeled led into the eventual Skybound video.

Hope I answered what you wanted to know and It wasn’t purely my Adhd rambling

[berylcups]

I don't know if you take requests like this but I'm interested in your general headcanons for La Squadra — if you have any! I like the way you portray them :)

Aw, thank you very much! I’m glad you enjoy my interpretations of everyone’s favorite blorbos! 💜

La Squadra General Head Canons

CW: blood mention, death mention, grief, alcohol, weed, transphobia, child mental abuse mention, bullying, sex work, toxic masculinity, internalized homophobia?(im gonna add it just to be safe even though it’s used as a joke by an LGBTQIA+ person…a trigger is still a trigger)

Notes: This is technically number 3 on my list but I'm submitting this one first since it got finished first! I hope this will satisfy your appetite while I continue to work on the earlier asks in order! If anyone wants a deep dive in-depth general HC list of any specific character feel free to send in an ask! 🥰excluding Melone of course... there's already one done of him!(that doesn't include other genres, yandere, romantic, etc. Mel HCs are still on the table!) Hope you all enjoy! 💜 Beryl

Risotto

1- He has PTSD and lingering symptoms of grief. This developed after his cousin died. He has conversations in his head with his dead cousin when he feels lonely or stressed.

2- The smell of blood gives him the same response as cuteness aggression. He needs to cuddle and squeeze the life out of something when he smells that iron-y goodness.

3-He's into leatherwork and knows how to skin an animal. He would help his grandparents in Sicily kill and skin the cattle. Blood and viscera are a common thing in his life.

4. He refuses to drink alcohol. He can’t stomach it knowing that it’s what caused the driver to murder his cousin. He opts for marijuana instead. It's really therapeutic for his PTSD. Formaggio, Pesci, and Melone are the best guys to smoke with. They always know how to show Ris a good time!

5- He doesn’t play favorites when it comes to his men. But only Formaggio knows how to make him laugh. He also has a soft spot for Sorbet and Gelato since they were the first men in his group. He cares for all his men equally, no exceptions.

Formaggio

1- He’s a 30 year old man who’s half Spanish and half Italian. He was born and raised in Firenze. He’s proud of his colorful family roots but he’s always going to cheer on Italy when he’s watching football!

2- Crazy cat man. This guy has five cats and they all are named after cheeses. And they are all orange cats. That grey one you saw in the bottle? You didn’t see shit. There was no grey cats being abused put into bottles. No you can’t change my mind. 😤 There’s Brie, Asiago, Colby, Fontina, and Queso.

3- always says “where’s my hug at??”. Also says “no homo” before doing anything that might be suggestive. This man is bisexual. 🤦‍♀️🤦 saying that doesn’t make it any less queer my Bi- King 👑 he’s the best hugger, 2nd is Pesci, and 3rd is Risotto.

4- This man is the hairiest in the group. He's always trimming his hair and shaving his chest and happy trail. If he doesn't shave he'll end up with a full beard and mustache, full chest of hair connected to his happy trail. The only thing he doesn't shave are his arms, pits, and legs and they are ridiculously hairy. 😬

5- Illuso is actually his best friend. Shocking? I know. They’re very competitive and sadistic hitmen. They always try to outdo each other on how gruesome and creatively they can take someone out. They both like to get drunk or high and watch football and wreck up the base.

Illuso

1- This prideful 28 year old is half Swiss German and Italian born and raised in Milano. His bad attitude came from always being compared to his younger brother. His little brother could do no wrong and Illuso always had to set a good example for him. The pressure got to him and just like Fugo he snapped but it turned bloody. His mom and younger brother are afraid of him and want nothing to do with him anymore and his father is sleeping 6 feet under.

2- He’s very sensitive and has rejection sensitivity dysphoria. As a child he was a big crybaby and his dad always scolded him to “man up” and fight back when he’s being bullied. It wasn’t until Secondary school where he started fighting back and becoming a bully himself. Now it’s all second nature to him. He puts up a façade of being an unpleasant person to hide his weaknesses.

3- He’s an avid artist who loves working with charcoal and graphite. His still lifes, landscapes, and portraits are near photorealistic. If his name didn’t give it away, he loves illustrating reflective surfaces the most. He wants his own studio where he can display his work. He doesn’t want to show off his work to others though. He’s very sensitive about his art pieces. He only does it for his own self satisfaction. He does want to be able to share this with a special someone though if he were able to find someone that he didn’t scare off.

4- He was born with Man in the Mirror. He used to use the mirror realm to hide and cry so he wouldn’t get made fun of by other kids or get yelled at by his dad for being “weak”. He obviously now uses it to store dead bodies and uses it as a safe place to attack people.

5- He was very sheltered as a child. The first time he saw masculine genitals besides his own was he went to Galleria dell’Accademia di Firenze with his parents seeing Michel Di Angelo’s David. He embarrassed them by loudly asking his father “papà why is his pìpì so tiny???” 😳

Pesci

1- He’s the youngest member at 19 years old. He’s from Sardinia.

2- Pesci has a mild form of Klippel-Feil syndrome. This doesn’t affect his self esteem. He’s actually pretty content with his body image! He just wishes he had more mobility with his neck. He does worry about passing that specific gene down to his potential children so he’s going to avoid having them. He fears his children will get bullied and not be able to develop a thick skin like he does. 😢 maybe his future s/o can help change his mind about that? 🥹

3- He’s a farm to table type of man. He fishes for his meal, cleans and debones , and cooks it to perfection. He knows how to prepare anything that lived in the water. Even the poisonous Fugu. But he doesn’t trust his skills enough to serve you that though! …unless you’re the boss. 😈

4- When he’s fed up with Prosciuttos harsh treatment, he’ll mock/impersonate him behind his back with Formaggio. 😅 his voice could use some work but he has the cadence and body language on point!

5- Coffee, tea, Cigs, energy drinks, or anything that is a stimulant will give poor Pesci the insta-shits. 💩 his tummy is DYING. Give him the entire toilet roll he’s gonna be in the bathroom allllll day. 😭 give him dairy, spicy, greasy, or anything else that’s irritating to the bowels. He can handle it like a CHAMP. Just no go-go juice.

Prosciutto

1- He’s a 26 year old Roman man. He’s a bastard child who never knew his father. He’s the oldest out of his 6 half siblings. His mother was a sex worker and a single mom so she always had to rely on her eldest Son Prosciutto to take care of his siblings. He never had a real childhood and had to grow up fast. This explains the aging nature of his stand and his stern attitude.

2- He sort of followed in his mother’s footsteps by sleeping with tourists and robbing them blind which is how he was able to get so much designer clothes and jewelry. Don’t ever bring up the part of his life before Passione, unless you have a death wish. He’s very ashamed of his past.

3- He has a hobby of winemaking and tasting. His dream is to have a villa in the countryside and have his own vineyard where he can make, drink, and sell his own wine .

4- He’ll take this secret to his grave but he has a mild phobia of taxidermy animals and embalmed corpses. Something that looks so life like yet is completely dead never to walk again really unnerves him. He doesn’t enjoy seeing things decay either. He finds it very unpleasant, but at least he’s aware that they are no longer among the living.

5- He’s a huge technophobe. Outside using his cellphone for calls and laptop for emails, he does NOT want anything to do with technology. Don’t come to his house and expect to Netflix and chill. You’re gonna gramophone and whoopie LMAO 😭. He likes old stuff because it “lasts longer “ totally not because he doesn’t know how to use anything. 🥲 he thinks video games are a waste of time and gets on the guys for playing them…they completely ignore him. 😂

Melone

I did a deep dive on this fella already click the link below to see it!⬇

Ghiaccio

1- He’s a proud 23 year old Venetian. He was born AFAB and became his authentic self as a trans man. Only Melone knows Ghiaccio before he became his authentic self. He's very supportive of him and refuses to deadname him or even speak about his life beforehand. If you mention anything about it you might get beaten up by Melone first before Ghiaccio gets a chance to scream at you. They bicker alot but they are close friends.

2- He got kicked out of multiple schools for beating the living shit out of his bullies for making fun of his nerdiness and LGBTQIA status. He eventually dropped out and joined passione.

3. He has a hobby for sports. He loves competitive swimming, hockey and ice skating the most. He wanted to go to the Olympics for it but transphobia prevented him from competing. (You can see why he might have an anger problem…)

4- Ghiaccio can see without his glasses. He just has severe astigmatism and gets headaches if he stares at the screen too long without them.

5- He has level 1 autism. He’s grumpy but sociable. He becomes awkward when you’re genuinely nice to him. He's not used to not having arguments and having an actual cordial conversation with someone. You can help him get used to that! He’s very sensitive to textures when it comes to clothes or food. Loud noises don’t bother him but certain noises do (pens clicking, fluorescent lights humming, mouth noises, high pitched whining like police or ambulance sirens, etc)

[enden-k]

i’m absolutely hooked on your grimms games story.. feel like an orphaned kid (youri) begging for more scraps! please sir... can i have some more 🙏🙏. i have a good load of questions though tehe... feel free to ignore any, i know its a lot

1. you mentioned that the games are all played for the entertainment of others, but i wondered what you meant by that? does this mean there’s a higher organisation that watch these games for fun... or are the games broadcasted to the people of the city for their entertainment?

2. how long do these games typically last? i assumed they happen every year.. but do the teams have a set time frame to complete the game by, or are there no time restrictions + the game simply ends when there’s only one team standing?

3. do the games only consist of fighting, or are there external forces involved in tricking and endangering the players? for example.. collapsing buildings, natural disasters, acid rain? (which makes me wonder whether the games are held in a controlled arena, distant + abandoned grounds, or within the city and among the ppl)

4. shorter question! but how do people enter the games? the fighting siblings and the surrounding team members?

5. does kaia like women.. would she perhaps be interested in kissing girls.. just asking... for a friend.. 🫣🏳‍🌈..

ALSO I’M REALLY SORRY, I KNOW THERE’S A LOT OF QUESTIONS... i’m not expecting an answer for all of them dw, only answer whatever u feel like answering 🫶 but omg i am SO hooked on this story, on ur characters.. (particularly izayah, kaia and tay) sending u all the love!!!

!!!!!!!!! thanks for the interest and asking!!!!

2) the game starts once both siblings set foot into the city and ends when the first sibling dies. the losing sibling will be eaten by the entity, finishing the ritual and once it hungers again, the games will be repeated and hosted by the winning sibling. until then, they rule (usually nothing less than 10 years), having all their wishes fulfilled

1) for this, i have to babble a bit abt the story/inspiration behind it. when i first drew this story, i was 14 and inspired by a fairytale my adoptive father used to read to us every evening when we were younger. idk if the story of hansel and gretel is known to all of you (i think it should?) but its literally the story my comic used to be heavily based on until i made changes over the years n stuff.

in my comic, i mentioned a ritual and sacrifice etc. its all for a strange, demonic entity who lured the first siblings into the woods centuries ago and the games were eventually made for. the sacrifices, the deaths are all for its entertainment, the souls to feed it. in return, it nurtures, powers and protects the cursed city

3) the entire cursed city is their battlefield and there are few safe zones where theres no fighting allowed and where they can encounter each other on a neutral basis (hospital, central part/main business district, ...). other than that, its pretty much purge-style. no rules, everything is allowed

4) the siblings are chosen by the entity itself early on, destined (cursed) to find their way into the woods and the city, lured by the entity. this goes only for the siblings, the main players.

for fairness, each team has fixed, same roles where the possible players are lit raised for it (like youri. he was taken in and raised to be the "guardian" among many other orphans). all members get picked by the siblings themselves, theyre responsible for their teams quality and quantity

5) kaia doesnt like much, shes entirely driven by hatred................but to answer that, yes she does jkjsbdjk

some answers are quite short, i came home from work and am a lil dead tbh but yea maybe ill pick these up some time again and elaborate more or so!!

[hxhhasmysoul]

Can I ask from this ask game : https://www.tumblr.com/toomanyfandomsthings/749729499738996736/send-me-a-ship-and-a-number-and-ill-tell-you?source=share

No. 2, 10, 11, 12, 15 for KilluGon and SukuIta.... Thanks ......🌻

I did it all of those, they looked fun I hope you don't mind.

KilluGon

1. Which one is the better cook?

Canonically neither is a good cook XD But I think Gon can cook some basic stuff even if it’s not amazing and Killua is a spoiled rich boi who just can’t cook at all. In AU I still think Killua just wouldn’t know how to cook most of the time unless he ran away with his sisters and had to step up, maybe he could know how to bake if he stayed with his family. Gon would know at least the basics of cooking, because Mito wouldn’t let him move out if he didn’t. 

2. What do their love letters look like?

Gon is super suave, he has his way with words. He’d quote poetry or movies. He would attach dry flowers to the letters. 

Killua would be awkward, he wouldn’t know what to write, there’d be few words in the letter, He’d use colourful ink though, and cute stickers, especially rare ones, like ones you win in some way.

3. Which one outlives the other, and how do they cope?

I think Gon could live longer because he has a better diet. But if he was old he’d wither slowly once Killua died, it just wouldn’t be the same.

4.What do they do on date night?

That’s Gon’s ballpark, he’d make plans. Each date would be different. Some would be small and intimate, some grand and with many events along the way. Killua would try to plan something sometimes, probably something geeky, Gon would indulge him.

5. How many kids will they have?

In canon? Likely none, they would jump from one adventure to another, there wouldn’t be time for kids. In AU that’d depend on the story. Like in my political clans AU, I imagine them having a kid eventually, though it would be a difficult choice because Gon travels for work in that one. It’d take negotiating and him taking a more stationary job at least when the kid was small. Also In my magical creatures AU they would have kids eventually, they would both be really into it and commit to it. But for example in the Regency AU, or the cyberpunk one I don’t think they would.

6. How do they decorate their bedroom?

Like the rest of their house. Gon has his geeky shit connected to plants and animals, Killua has his geeky shit connected to games. It’s chaos. I’m sure Killua has a Gold Dust Girl bodypillow, they both sleep on it. On their blanket there is a huge frog.

7 Which one is the worse driver?

Killua, the road rage is high with that one.

8. What do they argue about?

The canon stuff, like their self-destructive tendencies, overreliance on each other, etc. They aren’t great communicators and situations that could’ve been talked out escalate to arguments.

9. Which one swears more?

Gon, that’s just canon. Killua doesn’t really seriously swear.

10. What TV shows do they watch together, and which ones do they hide from the other?

They watch all the stuff together, they can be cringe with each other.

11. What was their first impression of each other?

“He’s so cool”, for both of them.

12. What do they do for their anniversary?

Something wild, likely they go on an adventure together.

13. Which one makes a bigger deal of birthdays?

They both make a big deal of birthdays.

14. What nicknames do they call each other?

I’m not really sure, they don’t seem that big on nicknames. When I come up with nicknames for them in AUs it’s tied to the AU and not canon.

15. What would they change about each other?

Their communication skills, their self-destructiveness. Like both of them really are against the other sacrificing himself and yet they just don’t listen.

_____________

SukuIta

1. Which one is the better cook?

Yuuji, unless it’s an AU where Sukuna is a pro chef, then he’s either better or they are equals. 

2. What do their love letters look like?

Sukuna’s look like proper Heian love letters, written on the paper matching the season, containing a well crafted tanka. 

Even if Yuuji writes a tanka back, it’s a bit humorous but likely still has the seasonal word. It’s on Hello Kitty paper because Yuuji knows Sukuna is secretly a Kitty fan.

3. Which one outlives the other, and how do they cope?

Yuuji lives longer because he’s younger. He compartmentalises it, like every loss in his life it just adds to his general sense of misery. 

4. What do they do on date night?

Something kinky. 

5. How many kids will they have?

I feel like none, Sukuna’s the baby kind of… XD

Though in an AU setting they could have kids, it depends.

6. How do they decorate their bedroom?

I feel Sukuna generally has an expensive and snobby taste so he really pushes for a fancy house/apartment. I feel he likes it traditional, or in Modern AU, modern meets traditional. But I think in the bedroom Yuuji managed to get some cute elements, possibly a big Kitty plush, maybe even a Kitty duvet or bed sheets.

7 Which one is the worse driver?

Sukuna, the road rage is high with that one.

8. What do they argue about?

Ideals, their world views are not the same. Where and how they live, Yuuji doesn’t really desire opulence. Sukuna’s better than thou attitude. Yuuji devoting too much time to others. They have a lot to work through. 

9. Which one swears more?

I feel Yuuji more casually but also less harshly. When Sukuna swears it’s like a punch.

10. What TV shows do they watch together, and which ones do they hide from the other?

They watch Yuuji’s horror movies and anime together, and discuss it together. Sukuna doesn’t always manage to win the “this is trash” argument, Yuuji’s good at noticing cool and poignant stuff in pop culture. They don’t watch Jeniffer Lawrence films together, Sukuna gets jealous. Also Sukuna hides that he sometimes watches sappy romance, to criticise it of course but also when Yuuji is aways and Sukuna is lonely.

11. What was their first impression of each other?

Sukuna’s impression of Yuuji: “What a naive fool. Would be an easy to fuck if he didn’t look like he’s needy.” Or to translate it into normal language from repression and denial: “Fuck he’s cute, he fasicnates me, I want him so badly but I’m terrified of commitment.”

Yuuji’s impression of Sukuna: “What a stuck up jerk! Nice ass though, why the fuck do I want him? What is wrong with me?”

12. What do they do for their anniversary?

Something really kinky that takes most of the day/night. There’s also a fancy dinner/breakfast after the kinky stuff. 

13. Which one makes a bigger deal of birthdays?

Yuuji because he wants big parties. 

14. What nicknames do they call each other?

Sukuna’s for Yuuji is obviously “brat”, sometimes something like “sweet/cute brat”.

Yuuji’s for Sukuna, in the beginning it’s likely “pompous/snobby jerk”, later just “Kuna”. 

15. What would they change about each other?

Their respective world view. Sukuna wants to bring Yuuji down to his level. Yuuji just wants Sukuna not to be a menace to society.

[yoonkinii]

We Were Human

Pairing(s): Ascended!AstarionxReader

Part 4:

Synopsis: Astarion died as soon as he became something the world has never seen before. No one noticed the damage before it was too late and the Astarion everyone loved was lost to the new one. No one could notice when the turn was slow and silent. He slowly lost the playful glint in his eyes. Lost the love he gaze upon me with. Lost everything that made him the man I loved. Oh, how I would give anything to get him back. I would gladly give up my damned soul for him.

Aka you are transported back to the past in order to prevent ascended Astarion from losing himself the only problem? You don’t have a lot of time.

-

Warnings: Gore, blood, cruelty, cursing, death/murder, mentions of using oneself unwillingly, abuse. Its ascended Astarion, prepare for the worst.

Masterlist

Note(s): For the sake of the plot- Astarion will not automatically be damned from the start. In this world, Astarion becomes lost to the ascension overtime until he becomes the ascended vampire we know him to be in the game. Another note that should be highlighted is that this story will be told from the first person perspective since it benefits the story more than any other perspective.

You will also notice various things being different from the game. For example, Karlach will be able to stay in the ‘human’ world and she fixed her heart. (I love my girl, I’m not sending her back), Szaars palace has a different layout cause the one in the game was stupid. There will be more that you will notice in the future so beware.

Thank You.

Sorry this part is so short compared to the previous ones. I had to cut it off at that point or else this part would've been crazy long.

-

It wasn’t long until Astarions breathing returned to normal but even then he was unresponsive. The two of us laid there in complete silence, the echoes of life sounding outside of the tent. My hand wadded through his silver locks, gently tugging out knots that appeared in his nightmarish sleep. He clung to me like a lifeline, his fingers clenching the fabric of my shirt, his nose pressed into the pulse point of my neck. We were lifeless in that moment, neither of us moving or talking, simply laying like entwined corpses. Perhaps we already were corpses when we both changed, my heart stopped as soon as I turned into a spawn and his has been gone for centuries. I didn’t know how long had passed since Astarion had woken up as him but it seemed like enough time to finally break the silence.

“How long has this been happening, Astari?”

The nickname fell from my lips without a second thought. I had rarely ever called him that, not since he ascended for the first time in my other life. If I closed my eyes and thought hard enough, I could still remember the way Astarions body paused above mine, his assault on my lips ceasing. At first, I had thought I made a mistake and it wasn’t until he asked me to repeat it to him over and over. Each time the name fell from my lips, a kiss was pressed against them. 

He was silent for a while and I had begun to think he wasn’t going to answer until his shoulders rose as he inhaled. A very human thing he did when there was no need. I could not judge though, I still did it even though I was already dead. My body couldn’t get rid of that habit and it seems neither could he.

“Ever since I ascended.”

The hand that was running through his hair halted, a pain of worry bolting through me. “What?” I asked breathlessly. The hand that wasn’t running through his hair, cupped the side of his; guiding him to look at me. My lips pinched into a fine line as I gazed at the man I loved with my entire being. His ruby eyes were shrouded in grief and a pain I’ve never known before. His eyes which were once filled with light were now weighed heavy with hidden grief. His carefully articulated mask of contemptment had fallen and I was finally seeing the true extent of his torment. His shoulders were hunched, as though he was trying to close in on himself. 

“Why haven’t you told me this?”

Inhaling sharply, my mouth opened to ask another question at his silence but was halted as Astarion suddenly pulled away from my embrace and began pulling on his boots. Lines of confusion appeared between my brows, “Where are you going? We need to talk about this.” 

“We do not need to talk about anything.” Astarion responded through a clenched jaw. He stood and on instinct, I grabbed onto the hem of his tunic, 

“Wait-”

“Let go of me.” He said sharply, “I do not need or want to talk about it. You have been told everything you need to know.”

He didn’t wait for my reply before he exited the tent, leaving me alone. My lips quivered, the familiar burning sensation of frustrated tears brimming my eyes. 

“Gods dammit.” My voice sounded into the air. I was all too familiar with this scene, he did it when he was a spawn. He closed himself off, a defense mechanism he could never part with. It wasn’t him pulling away from me that made the cold grip of anxiety take hold, it was his voice. At that moment, it was not Astarions but his voice commanding me once more. Demanding that I obey, that I bend at his will no matter what. 

I inhaled deeply, settling back into the makeshift bed Astarion had set out. My mind wandered into the deep and darkest recess of my mind. Digging up a past or rather my future if I didn’t change it, searching for anything that could help me- that could guide me. Flashes of pain that stretched from physical to mental flashed across my mind and it was all for naught. I stared at the place that was once filled with Astarions presence, wondering what I should do next. Of  course I wanted to wallow in fear and hide from my other part of my damned soul but what could that do? I would just let him become a victim to become someone that isn’t him.

Do you even know who he is? Who he truly is?

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the thought away as I turned to face the opposite direction of where Astarion was laying. Regardless of all the ‘what if’s’ and ‘whys’ that ran rampant in my mind, I forced myself to lay still and keep my eyes shut until the comforting silence of sleep took over.

-

There was a buzz in the air and it wasn’t just from the bugs calling to each other with the sun beating down on them. The trek to the goblin camps was silent. Astarion didn’t return to the tent last night and I didn’t have the courage to start an argument right when I needed to focus on fighting goblins. Goblins wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for the sheer number they gather in. While they were gathered by several higher ups that actually knew how to strategies, they were harmless without someone to lead them. 

“Do you always walk so loud, my dear?”

I blinked, casting Astarion a sideways glance, “Do you always have the need to storm off when we should communicate?”

Astarions lips quirked into a small frown, “I didn’t see the need to discuss anything.”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes as I walked through the dense forest- suddenly self conscious about the way I walk. It was no surprise Astarion thought I was heavy footed since he was a rouge that lived most of his life slinking in the shadows. Being a sorceress did not require being silent and hiding in the shadows, not when I could easily cast spells that could injure people efficiently. There was a time when Karlach, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart tried teaching me something else other than spells. They claimed that relying on the weave was too risky since I was constantly fighting. They tried their best but the most I could grasp was how to wield a dagger. While Lae’zel grumbled about ‘sorcerers being unreliable in combat’ under her breath, Karlach and Shadowheart deemed it enough. Shadowheart said I would be alright as long as I knew how to stab someone with something sharp. 

Even though his talents were needed more than anything- anyone could swing a blade and hurt someone regardless if it was on purpose or not- no one could grasp how he walked so silently through any terrain. Even now, with all the fallen leaves, bramble, and branches littering our path, I couldn’t hear a single step. Where I had to concentrate to walk softly (which was useless since I would end up  making noise anyway) he did it with ease. 

Astarion stopped for a moment and I froze, looking around to see if there was anything nearby that would have made him stop. He angled his head, tilting it as if he was trying to listen better. Wordlessly, he turned on his heel and started walking in another direction. I moved to follow him but he looked at me over his shoulder, 

“I think it’s best if we separate.”

I gave him a wary look, hands coming to rest on my hips, “What? Why?”

“Do I really have to explain everything to you?” He replied through a clench jaw, his gaze hard as he looked at me. 

My jaw fell slack, looking at Astarion as if he wasn’t real and standing before me.

“Are you serious right now? I have no idea why you are so angry at me when all I wanted to do was help.” I replied roughly, face pinched into annoyance. I knew I shouldn’t be pushing his buttons, not when he was still the same person that tortured me time and time again. He wasn’t the Ascended Vampire I was familiar with but he would turn into him if I didn’t help him properly. I could either be pushing him towards losing himself or pulling him away and I had no idea if arguing with him was helping. 

“You dare speak to me like that? Like you are not beneath me.”

My whole body tensed. I knew that voice, it haunted my dreams and lurked in my memories. Astarion- no, he stalked towards me. His body was full of grace but I knew every bone in his body craved for violence, to breath in the taste of pain that would soon coat the air. I stumbled back, feets getting caught in the uneven floor of the forest. My back thudded against a tree and I watched with fear blown eyes as he came closer until we were chest to chest. His eyes met mine and I forced them to look away, to peer straight at his chest. There was no rise and fall of his chest, there was no warmth to his skin, Astarion was him and I had no idea how to handle it. 

I flinched slightly as his hand ran through my hair ever so gently. My jaw clenched tightly, I was surprised my teeth didn’t shatter. My eyes snapped shut as his face got closer, his lips whispering against the skin of my cheekbone. 

“Oh Darling,” He said lowly, his voice a rumble in his chest. “Look at me.” Suddenly, his hand yanked my head back harshly by the hair at the nape of my neck. I yelped, pain bursting through my skull. Instinctively, I grabbed hold of his wrist, looking at him with fear driven eyes. He tutted his lips, a mocking pout playing on his lips, “What ever should I do with you” he questioned himself, his words whispered against my skin. 

“Should I leave you here on the brink of death, leave you just alive enough to remain conscious to feel your body piercing itself together? Or should I take away the privilege of allowing you to withstand the sun? Maybe then you will learn to appreciate the kindness I have shown you.” 

His threats left their icy marks in my heart. Fear invaded my senses, my breathing harsh and rapid which was ridiculous. My lungs did not need air but the notion still forced me to spiral. 

“Please, Astarion.” I stuttered meekly, the grip I had on him tight but it didn’t do anything to deter him. It probably felt like nothing on him. He raised a white brow towards me, his head angling to the side. Without a word, he yanked my head back further, forcing me to crane my neck at a painful angle. 

“You are talking to a vampire ascendant. I am a God and you,” He bit out, “Are nothing.” His face was passive, no lines of emotions on his beautiful features. Sunlight shined down on him, his lashes almost a blinding white. How could something be so beautiful and cruel at the same time. How could my dead heart only feel alive when it was around him.

“I-I’m sorry, Lord Astarion.” 

It was easy to revert back into the mold I was taught how to fit into. It was easy to obey and beg for forgiveness. I felt many emotions at that moment but I mostly felt annoyed at how right he was. He was something while he was my everything. Only through him I was safe from the sun, safe from the bloodlust, but I wasn’t safe at the same time. I wasn’t safe from my very own savior. 

I was so frustrated that tears bubbled my eyes, blurring my vision. I felt my throat tighten, the familiar pain of sobs wanting to erupt coming unwelcome. I didn’t want to cry, it was the last thing I wanted to do but the sense of helplessness was too overbearing. I had forgotten what it felt like to be in love with a monster. To him I was nothing, but he was my everything. All I was his spawn, a thing that is used to please him and nothing more. I had forgotten what it felt like to be looked at not as a person but an object. 

Abruptly, he pulled away like my skin burned him. He flung himself away so hard that he collided into a tree across from me. I stood there frozen, watching as my lungs heaved in relief. I blinked back the unfallen tears, running my hands through my own hair as though to take away the taint of his harshness off my being. 

Astarion was leaning on the trunk, his hand gripping his chest like he meant to tear out his own heart. I gulped, swallowing my own shame and taking a step forward. It did not matter how scared I was. This was not normal and I had to figure out why. At the sound of my step Astarion flinched, his downcasted gaze meeting mine. I inhaled a sharp breath at the sight of the man who threatened to leave me to die here only seconds before look at me with such fear. Astarion stumbled away, his skin clammy with sweat and glinting in the rays of sun. 

“Stay away.”

His voice was so soft that it strained my eyes to hear him. My eyes narrowed in confusion. He suddenly looked like an animal that was cornered. He coward away from me, every small step I towards home resulted in him shuffling away as if moving away pained him. 

“Astarion,” I said as gently as I could even with anxiety choking me. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

Astarion doubled forward like an imaginary force hit him from behind. He gritted his teeth, his own fangs piercing into the sensitive flesh of his bottom lip. Droplets of blood bubbling from the small wounds. Sweat dripped down his brow, into his eye causing him to blink harshly. He glanced at me with pain narrowed brows, mumbling,  “I’m sorry” before he abruptly stumbled away disappearing into the dense forest. 

I stood in shock for longer than I would have liked. My mind paralyzed with shock as it witnessed something it’s never seen before. This had never happened before, the way he was present one moment before disappearing another. I quickly gathered my thoughts, running through the memories of my ‘past’ life to account how Astarion was after he returned from this expedition by himself. He returned with nothing other than himselfs even though he left with a vast amount of supplies just in case. He only had one thing with him and it was himself covered with blood that wasn’t his. It was only then that the first instance of what people knew as Astarion began to diminish. He smiled less, got irritated more often, the lines of emotion on his face began to fade. He loved me less and wanted me more. He was shorter with me, not wanting to explain his decisions to me no matter how much I pleaded. He wasn’t him yet but he was starting to become him. 

This could only mean one thing, something happened during his time handling the goblin camp that no one was able to witness or stop him from doing. And going off with what just happened, it hasn’t happened yet- if going off I was going off the previous interactions we’ve had. 

I swallowed the lump of nerves building in my throat down, determination filling my veins. I had to find Astarion before whatever happened in the past happens in the present. Even if it kills me. The only problem is, tracking him would almost be impossible since he was always soft footed and careful of his tracks. I only had one thing to go off of and that was the direction he ran in- to a place I knew would be there. A Goblin Camp. 

[littledekuchan]

question abt the side characters post! what's a dark fairy in your au? and also you meantioned cindy being an earthly fairy as in she's from earth? that's fun since usually it's just roxy. is there more girlies from earth?

-@parola-di-winx <3

I love answering asks, send me more!!!!

In my au, dark fairies are fairies that were originally witches, examples are Mirta, Kimmy and Faragonda. In the same way that there are good witches, witches who were originally fairies, an example is Endora and Selina, okay Selina is not that good, but she gets the idea.

About earthly fairies. After the end of season 4, magic returned to Earth, with many fairies and witches having their powers awakened in many ways. Cindy was on vacation in Gardenia when her powers awakened, she was playing making snowmen with her cousin, when her cousin decided to throw a snowball at her cousin without warning, because of her fright Cindy created an ice shield to protect her. don't hit her in the face with the ice ball. After discovering her powers, her parents kept saying "Can't you just be normal?" In the end, Cindy started living in Gardenia with her grandmother who, when she was young, met a young witch who lived nearby.

Cindy met other earthly witches and fairies when she started attending Tir Na Nog College, like Carmen who would become her best friend, Macy a little witch, Julia a fairy who doesn't like noisy places, Selina, and other people.

Tir Na Nog College always has its doors open to any magical being who wants to understand their powers.

Few earth fairies went to Alphea, with Cindy and Carmen being one of the best known, as fairies from the Magix dimension consider earth fairies inferior, as they don't have as many abilities.

Roxy is seen arguing daily with fairies with conservative thoughts, Faragonda is already used to hearing from Griselda that Roxy was starting fights with other students.

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

[deeply sry Mel for not posting this earlier ma phone died while I was typing:(]

Welcome everyone to my little game~

For context I've hidden Vox in an undisclosed location somewhere in Pentagram City

Don't worry he's fine (for now) but if you want to see him again you'll do as I say, now let's begin...

It's fairly simple, I'm going to give you clues to Vox's location and I will give you time to figure out where the clues lead

If you guess right I'll let you speak to him and send him some gifts if you'd like, I've hidden a microphone and camera in the room he's in {places a giant screen on the wall with a live feed of Vox}

But if you guess wrong... I'll punish Vox using any weapon of your choosing dw they're not angelic weapons just normal ones to hurt not kill, oh and if you don't choose a weapon I'll choose one for you and trust me I won't be as lenient...

There are 3 rounds, which means 3 locations I'll be sending Vox to each time you get the clue right, fret not I'll give you time to look for him in each location until the last round, I will let him go if you fail to find him by the 3rd location...if this happens there will be another much bigger punishment, but let's not spoil the surprise ;3

Here's an example: if the clue is lets say...redemption and you guess the hotel, you'd be correct but you will have to find Vox before I change his location

I hope this wasn't too complicated my pretties feel free to ask if there is anything that confuses you~

The next time you hear from me I'll be revealing your first clue...so stay tuned

- Sædist anon (PS I was going to do 4 locations but changed my mind last minute womp womp)

"You think you can toy with us?! I will rip you apart and devour you piece by piece!"

"I'll help."

"Okay, let's calm down. We need to think rationally to get Vox back. What's the first clue?"

[currentlyobsessedwithobi-wan]

To the person who asked me to make a list of my favorites Star Wars time travel fanfictions, and anyone who may be interested, first of all sorry that it took me so long. For some reasons my dumbass self didn’t bookmark the fics so I had to go and search them.

Secondly, I don’t want to disappoint but you should know that I’m not really picky when it comes to fanfics. Meaning that there’s a lot of thing that I don’t actually agree with but that I’m ready to accept in fanfics (for example madalorians. I honestly don’t know enough to either love or hate them in canon but I don’t ,mind them in fanfictions, as long as they’re not just here to bash the Jedi). Really, my only hard limit is no Jedi bashing.

That being said, here are some of my favorites that I was able to find again (most of them are incomplete or WIPs). I tried to put a simple description for most of them, but if you want something really accurate I advise you to just check the fanfiction :

The Lesson by cjwritesfanficnow

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26486284/chapters/85863850 :

Work in Progress. This one is pro Jedi but also pro Mandalorian and feature Jango/Obi-wan, so be warned if it’s not your cup of tea.

Basically, Jango realize what an ass he was, and is confronted with the consequences of his actions. Then he get to time travel in order to fix it.

Little Light Age by SpideyGrayson

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44444098/chapters/111788134 :

In progress. This one is also Pro Jedi. It’s mostly fluff for now. Ship : Cody/Obi-wan.

Obi-wan is send in the past, back when he’s 12, and becomes Shaak Ti’s Padawan instead of Qui-Gon’s.

Take it from the top and try again

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3535600 :

it’s a serie of two fics, one completed and one in progress. I honestly don’t remember if it’s completly pro Jedi or Jedi critical. But it’s not straight up Jedi Bashing. No ships for now.

Obi-wan is sent back at the time of Phantom Menace, and wants to save everyone (yes Anakin too, so if you truly truly hate him this one is probably not for you). It involves a lot of politics.

To Fix the Shattered Past by Forever_A_Thief

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42912192 :

Work in progress. For now it’s (and hopefully will stay) Pro-Jedi. But it’s Qui-Gon critical/bashing (because, you know, Legends). Anakin friendly (yes again, sorry to those who may be bothered by that). Dooku redemption (one of those things that I only accept in fanfiction. Though in this one, if I remember correctly Galidraan hasn’t happened yet and Dooku is not even close to falling).

Obi-wan, Anakin and Ashoka are send back in time during Melida-Daan. Obi-wan is physically 13, Anakin 6-9, and Ahsoka 3. For now it’s a lot of fluff (i like fluff, okay ? 😆) and a bit of angst.

Reprise by Elfpen :

https://archiveofourown.org/series/454408 :

A serie composed of four main parts. Three completed, and one in progress. Honestly, I read this one a long time ago so I don’t remember much. But I know that I liked it a lot. I would have to re-read. But I also read this before I became completly Pro Jedi so beware that this one may be slightly Jedi critical.

Since, like I said I don’t remember much I don’t want to risk making a mistake while describing it. I just remember that Obi-wan comes back as an adult (as Ben) and so there’s two Obi-wan : Qui-Gon’s padawan and the Obi-wan who died and time traveled. So if you want to know more, just click on the link.

Unexpected awakening by Rhiw

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15436701/chapters/35831454 :

Work in progress. Once again, remember reading, somewhat remember liking it, yet for some reasons can’t remember any details. By the tag, seems to be Pro Jedi. No ships tagged.

Please click on the link to know more.

Edit : so, I started re-reading this fic right after I posted this. I’m at chapter 4 for now, and it’s actually seems to be very Pro Jedi. And I really likes the writing style. I don’t really know how to describe it, but to me it’s almost…soothing. Where I’m at in the fic it’s still mostly hurt/comfort, but that’s the kind of thing that I really enjoy.

Revolving sun by SiennahRobek

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31766296 :

Work in progress (though I don’t know if it’s abandoned or not). Pro Jedi. Semi Anakin friendly. No ships.

It’s an alternate universe where Luke is raised by Obi-wan (and is somewhat his padawan) and they both ends up back in time, during the clone war. I really like this one despite it being incomplete.

When The Time is Right by robinasnyder

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26242654 :

Incomplete (still in progress? Dunno). Anakin friendly (listen there’s not a lot of time travel fanfics that are Anakin critical. Believe me I actually like it when he has to face consequences). Pro Jedi if my memory serves me right, but you should probably check just in case. Ships are : adult Obi-wan/Cody, kid Obi-wan/Cerasi/Nield.

Obi-wan, Anakin, Padmé and some clones ends up in the past. Obi-wan for some reasons that I can’t remember takes Bruck Chun as his padawan.

Teach the Padawan. Save the galaxy. by alexjanna91 https://archiveofourown.org/series/2520193

A serie of 4 works (each completed). Ships are : obi-wan (Ben) Kenobi /Tahl and temporary young Obi-wan/Satine. Kookie is Obi-wan’s son (I honestly didn’t remember this before doing my researches), So this is the fic that I talked about in my original post about time travel fanfictions. Be aware that while Jedi are still the good guys in this, it’s rather critical toward the Jedi Code. Pro Mandalorian (I think) but they’re not the main guys. I decided to add it here anyway because even if I have my issue with it now that I’m pro Jedi I still feel…nostalgic, since it’s one of the first time travel fanfiction that I have ever read.

Ben Kenobi is send back in time, save his younger self from Melida-Daan. Then he takes young Obi-wan as his padawan and trains him. And tries to save the galaxy.

Well, that all for now. Please let me know if I made any mistakes, and I’ll correct it (if I’m not too lazy).

[911-on-abc]

☕️ eddie being proud of the medal he’s getting next episode vs not feeling like he deserved the silver star

Hi!!! Thank you for the ask <3 <3 <3

I can't speak on how eddie feels about getting a medal from the LAFD because we haven't seen him get it yet, so I'm going to focus my answer on the silver star.

Eddie's emotions about receiving the Silver Star are tied to his feelings about his military service. In his conversation with Buck in 2x10 (the Christmas episode) Eddie compares signing up for a second military tour to Shannon leaving him and Christopher. He characterizes it as him running out on them but "I got to pretend like it was for a noble cause" (28:44*). Eddie associates his time in the military with negative feelings of guilt and shame, not pride. Eddie's Silver Star is a physical manifestation of this dilemma because it validates his service to others as heroic when he views it as an example of how he has failed as a husband and a father.

Besides being shown holding it in 5x13, I don't think Eddie's Silver Star was actually brought up in S5b, so this is just conjecture, but I think Eddie's disdain for his Silver Star has only grown over time. In 5x13, Eddie learns that everyone he pulled out of the chopper in Afghanistan died and wrecks his bedroom. In the following episode, we see Eddie at his lowest. He is questioning his worth, the value of his job, if he has ever been able to help anyone, or if it has all been down to luck or chance. Eddie expresses this doubt to Buck asking, "What's the point of it all?" (29:51). At the end of the episode, Buck takes him to see Charlie, showing him that his actions do help people and he explains that perhaps the point is giving them a second chance to live. However, this conversation is tailored to what he has done as a firefighter, not in the army. While Charlie is thriving after Eddie helped him, his army friends are dead. Sure, I think that therapy has helped Eddie feel less survivor's guilt, but now Eddie's silver star carries the additional weight of knowing that he's the only person in that chopper still living.

Now onto the spec. There are a couple ways Eddie could feel about receiving that award. Maybe after experiencing the growth he did in S5b, he will feel the pride of being recognized. Maybe he will feel derisive about receiving an award from the fire chief who didn't listen to Hen and tried to prevent them from helping Bobby and Athena. Maybe his feelings about it will be more in line with Bobby's, refusing to see himself as a hero. It will probably be the first option, but I honestly don't think the show will touch on Eddie's feelings about it because this is Bobby's arc.

once again thanks 4 the ask!!!!

*yeah we are bringing in the in-text citations. fuck everyone else I'm different

send me a ☕️ and a topic and i’ll talk about how i feel about it

[medusapelagia]

WIP Something

I was tagged by @hbyrde36 for Seven Sentence Sunday and @kallisto-k for WIP Wednesday so I'll make a mix: Seven sentence from one WIP and some other WIPs for the ask game!

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

1 Getting to Know you (again) 2 Space AU 3 Stommy week 4 SharkBilly 2 5 Billy BB

Three sentences from Stommy week

For some people, food is a love Language, but when Steve was a kid, he didn't really understand it. His Nonna used to ask him what he wanted for lunch while he was having breakfast, and Steve always gave her a very annoyed reply, complaining that he couldn't think about lunch at bumfuck hour in the Morning. Nonna Rosa never got offended, she used to nod quietly, pinching Steve's rosy cheeks, another really annoying habit of hers, and return to the kitchen where at least three boiling pots and pans were waiting for her. Nonna loved him, and the only way she knew to express her feelings were Parmigiana, crocché, and cheeks pinches, but Steve didn't understand that till the day she died and his parents started to hire nanny after nanny. No one of them ever asked Steve what he wanted for lunch, or even if he liked all the plates they cooked for him. They just make these flavorless but nutritious plates and give him nuts and raisins for a snack.

tag list: @just-my-latest-hyperfixation, @sunflowerharrington, @pezilla, @spaceofentropy, @lemonhoarddragoness

@bellandora, @cuips-not-cute, @mymisfitsbabe, @ghostdeb

and whoever wants to join the game!

[hi-its-meg]

I’ve cried so much these past few days. My heart just hurts so much.

Growing up I had quite a few close friends. 4 families really accepted me as their own and I spent a lot of time hopping between their houses so I wouldn’t have to go home- I’d go weeks without going home. I was always welcome no questions asked- even on school nights, I was always fed, I was always looked after, and I was always loved.

One of these families was just so filled with love and acceptance and they truly had the healthiest family dynamic I’ve ever seen. The parents were best friends and they never stopped being so in love. They cherished their kids and everyone their kids loved. That house literally poured acceptance and encouragement. Their love was the kind you dream of- the kind where there is absolutely no doubt that they were meant to be together. No amount of hardship was going to stand in their way and they faced a lot of it over the years- from health issues, financial ups and downs, and their families not supporting them as an interracial couple.

Three years ago the dad died and their entire world fell apart. They lost everything- they lost their house, they had to rehome their dogs (the only dog my friend still has is my dogs brother. The dad LOVED him so much that my friend couldn’t let him go. I offered to take him if they needed since I couldn’t let my dogs brother go to a shelter when I’m the one who brought him here, but thankfully my friend made it work), and everyone got separated at that point just so they could all survive. It destroyed the mom. She struggled so much these past few years.

Last week I had to message my friend because I saw a post her mom made on Facebook saying that she was going to end her life. I’m so thankful I saw it so quickly and she was able to send an ambulance to her mother’s apartment in time. A couple days in the hospital and she was back at home and seemed to be doing better.

Yesterday we got the news that she has passed. It doesn’t appear to be self inflicted thankfully, but it’s so sudden and unexpected. My heart is so broken for my old friend and her younger sister. They have no parents anymore. We’re all in our 20s, they shouldn’t have to go the rest of their lives without their parents who loved them so much. It’s just not fair that the best example of a loving family many of us had ever seen got destroyed like this. I cannot express how amazing these parents were and how much their daughters did not deserve this. My heart is just so broken for them.

The mom saved my life as a teenager and I will never be able to thank her enough. She forced my family to stop ignoring that I was hurting myself and that I really needed help. I’ve known and loved this woman since I was 7 years old. She always listened and she always cared.

A bunch of us stayed the night in their basement- which was super common- but this time my now-husband was there. We had been dating for a couple of months at the time. My friend group was always pro boy/girl sleepovers so this wasn’t anything scandalous. The next morning I got up and she was making breakfast for us all. She grabbed my shoulder and smiled at me and she gushed over my husband. She was so happy that I was finally moving on from my ex and she hadn’t seen me this happy in a long time. That he seemed like a good one and that everyone loved him being there. She always knew what to say.

I’m not really sure why I’m posting this. I think maybe I just needed to get it out of my head. This will be the first funeral I’ve gone to where I’ve truly been impacted and loved by this person and I think I’m struggling with that. I’m struggling with how unfair the world is.

The first girl I ever had feelings for passed suddenly a couple days before this. The girl that made me realize that I liked women and I could truly see myself loving her if she let me. I always thought she was the most beautiful person. Her name became my favorite name, it’s still my favorite name. She was so funny and so kind to me when a lot of people weren’t back then. She had a hard time in life but she never stopped being so kind. It’s really sad that she’s gone.

Death tends to come in 3s so now I’m just waiting.

[dicenote]

I have some questions about Echo! First of all, I want to say that I liked her sm <3

So I wonder how her story would have unfolded if she had joined Kira's capture. Would she use tactics similar to L or Near, or would she be riskier like Mello? Or perhaps she would have her own way of investigating this case? I'm also curious about which Death Note character she'd like to work with, and which characters might possibly be friends with her!

Omg thank you so much! And thanks for the interesting questions <3 It's really given me a lot to think about!

(For most of this, I'm gonna use the pseudonym "Dix" for her since she wouldn't have the name "Echo" if she worked on the Kira case. I hope that's not too confusing!)

For the first question, let's suppose that Dix overheard Roger telling Near and Mello about L dying back in 2004 and that she wanted to join the case ASAP. How would she go about it?

I think the most important thing is that Dix would not want to deal with such a big case alone. She enjoys being around people, and the thought of having to isolate herself for years out of safety sounds horrible. She'd consider asking Near or Mello since they're already on the case, but Mello leaves soon after he hears the news, and Near is much too passive in his investigation for her tastes. So instead, Dix asks the third-best Wammy's kid, Matt, for help.

(Side note: I'd like to think that out of Matt, Mello, and Near, she'd be closest to Matt. And by that, I mean he plays games with her a lot. He also loses a lot. I originally intended for Dix to be about 4-5 years older than the three of them and be more of a distant "older cousin" figure, but I messed up the birthdate. So she's only a little older than Matt, but still acts like a cooler older sister.)

Matt, eager for adventure and kinda bummed that Mello left without him, agrees and sets off for Japan with Dix. They figure, based on their own observations, that Kira has got something to do with the NPA, so they start there. I'm not too set on the details, but they'd probably get wrapped up in a lot of goofy "sidequests" and such in their search for Kira. Maybe they try getting jobs in the NPA to do undercover work and run into Light? Again, not totally sure there.

I don't think that Dix and Matt alone are going to solve the case, unfortunately, though they probably speed things up by a few years. If Matt died, for example, it might motivate Mello to make his moves faster. Dix's work might be able to eliminate the suspects down to the Task Force quickly, but she probably won't be able to get the crucial evidence to get Light arrested. Regardless, Dix and Matt would have a very fun time on the case (if they both live, of course).

I'm getting kinda off-topic from your question, but I think Dix would have an investigation style that's most like how L investigates the Kira case. See, her deductive reasoning isn't as strong as L's or Near's (another reason why she needs Matt with her), but she is incredibly good at reading people. That means that in order to make good deductions, she needs to speak with her targets directly, or at least be able to observe them. If she were in L's shoes back at the start of the case, she would totally enroll in Light's university and play weird mind games with him to see what he does, much like L. She's a bit of a risk-taker like L, but she wouldn't go as far as to use Lind L. Tailor or actually handcuff herself to Light.

Now for the other question, which characters she'd work with or be friends with... This is pretty hard, since she's pretty removed from the cast once she leaves Wammy's. She probably still thinks fondly of the others and occasionally sends letters to the orphanage when she can.

Like I said before, if she was working on the Kira investigation, she'd wanna work with her fellow Wammy's kids. She'd prefer to work with all of them because they all have different skills that balance each other out, but that would never happen. Mello and Matt are her first choices over Near, but she does appreciate the work Near does.

In the normal version of canon where she isn't involved with the Kira case and instead is a radio host, Echo would probably run into Takada here and there since they're both in the same industry. Maybe they met at a convention or something early into their careers and ended up talking. This makes January 25th, 2010 a rough day for her, as two of her oldest friends and one of her only new ones die horrifically.

Also, I think she'd at least know of Demegawa. Maybe she's heard a few stories from friends and coworkers. She doesn't like him, though, and especially stays clear when he gets wrapped up in "Kira's Kingdom".

A funny random thought I had was that Echo and Matsuda live in the same apartment complex during the second half of Death Note. They run into each other at ungodly hours of the night and make small talk every so often. Echo thinks that "Taro" must be hiding an affair or something because he isn't home all that much and always looks "off" to her. Eventually, she figures out it's something bigger than that, but neither of them ever realize that they're both connected to Near.

Also, I don't think they'd ever interact in canon, but I think Echo would like the SPK members, especially Gevanni and Halle. Maybe not in a strictly "friendly" sense, but she thinks that what they do looks pretty neat.