#butt floss

[carlitosxxiii]

[ireniggg]

Snowboarding boots free like...

[evilhorse]

If you mean women…yes, I will speak with one…and, perhaps, together we can plumb the great mystery.

(Defenders #2)

[quilterdyke]

watching my four year old neighbor tonight and i asked her if she knew who the president is. she rolled her eyes and said "yeah. poo poo fart head" based four year old.

[mossfeed]

haha heyyy guys we should all go floss rn. like as a joke

[dinamitokid]

butt floss

my onlyfans here :)

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。FAMILY SECRETS — GOJO SATORU.

contents. fem! + mom! reader, reader is referred to as “mommy” and “wife,” girl dad toru <3, family shenanigans in the grocery store that are unfortunately inescapable when your husband is gojo satoru

“ok,” you nod, looking over your grocery list. “i think that’s everything—”

“mommy, can we please get this,” your daughter looks up at you pleadingly, tugging at your sleeve as she holds a bag of candy—she has satoru’s eyes, wide and blue and so easy to give into. you look at her for a moment before pursing your lips.

“no, satoru. we can’t get this bag of candy.” you turn to the devil himself, glaring at him as he whistles innocently.

“what’re you lookin’ at me for, sweetheart? our little peanut here wants—”

“satoru.”

“fine,” he deflates. you pinch your nose as you sigh.

satoru, in his thirty plus years of life, has surprisingly never had a cavity for how much sugar he consumes. he’s good at taking care of himself, he argues, there’s no chance he’d ever get a cavity. that is, until recently. he visits the dentist and has not one, but two cavities—you think this is a rather alarming sign that he needs to cut back on the sweets, so you take matters into your own hands.

and, well….he’s not handling it very brightly.

“you thought i’d cave just because you tricked our daughter into asking?” you raise a brow, making him huff as he pouts.

“what kind of heartless soul could say no to those eyes?” he asks in disbelief, waving a hand at the small carbon copy of your husband as she blinks up at you, “i mean look at her! she doesn’t deserve the word no.”

“she definitely needs the word no so she doesn’t end up spoiled like you. and i’ve had plenty of practice,” you shoot blandly, “i’ve said no to your eyes all these years haven’t i?”

“even crazier,” he mutters, “i have the most adorable eyes, how could you say no?”

“it’s pretty easy if you ask me,” you shrug.

most people tend to call satoru arrogant—humble is not usually used in the same sentence as gojo satoru. evidently, they’ve never watched him interact with you before—you always find a way to humble him. he’s starting to think he’s the butt of every joke in his own marriage.

“please, baby?” he pouts deeper, “i’ve been good! i floss!”

“no.”

“what if i fold the laundry for a month?” he bats his lashes.

that’s tempting, you have to admit. folding laundry is a very boring job, you’re more than happy to hand it over to satoru for a bag of candy that barely dents your wallet. but then you find your resolve again, crossing your arms as you stare at him unimpressed.

“no, satoru.”

“two months?”

“nope.”

“did you only marry me for my looks?” he asks in disbelief, “because there’s not one ounce of love in that heart of yours.”

“this is for your own good, satoru,” you say firmly, “you had two cavities. how much sugar have you been consuming lately? and don’t think i don’t notice you skipping meals when you’re busy—a chocolate bar does not replace lunch.”

you’re glaring at him, drilling him for his health choices that are not his fault—he’s a busy guy, and he can’t help that a chocolate bar on his way to a mission is all he can squeeze in sometimes. maybe a protein bar would be a better option, but they’re not as tasty, and satoru thinks he deserves to be happy. and then, from the end of the aisle, you hear a few snickers coming from passerby’s. he pouts deeper at the thought of being laughed at as he gets scolded by his wife in the middle of the breakfast aisle.

“what’s the point of living if you’re gonna be miserable?” he groans, “we might as well just start going to bed at nine pm too, while we’re at it. and—”

“that’s actually a lovely idea,” you hum thoughtfully, “you certainly could use the sleep, couldn’t you?”

he glares at you petulantly, sulking as you grab the bag from your daughter’s and put it on the shelf—it’s not the right place, but taking a trip to the candy aisle to place it where it belongs is only venturing deeper into the lion’s den. you’re not letting satoru have more options to choose from.

“you seein’ this, angel?” he turns to your daughter, “you see how mean mommy is? she’s not letting us have candy. make sure you remember that when i ask you who’s your favorite again.”

you roll your eyes, snorting. satoru asks her playfully one night who the favorite parent is—it’s a meaningless question, meant to be a joke and nothing else. you’re sure he expects her to say both—but he gets his feelings severely hurt when she giggles and points to you, staring in disbelief as you grin in victory and kiss her cheeks. you even rub salt on the wound when you mumble she’s your favorite baby too.

he’s starting to really think he’s a victim in his own household.

“but mommy gives me candy,” she tilts her head in confusion.

oh no. she’s not supposed to say that—she promised not to say that. why can’t children ever keep a filter on their words? and why can’t they keep their promises?

almost like in slow motion, both of your eyes widen. satoru pauses. you start to sweat. he turns to face you slowly, in abject disbelief.

“what?” you laugh nervously, “no i don’t! we don’t have any candy at home—”

“she keeps it in her drawer!” your daughter adds, as if she wants to see your downfall.

you love your daughter, you really do—but sometimes you think motherhood is a punishment for whatever sin it is that you’ve committed in your previous life. satoru crosses his arms and taps his foot.

“what happened to we’ll all give up sweets together so you’re not alone, toru,” he mocks your voice, squinting at you accusingly. “so we’re a family of liars now?”

“toru, listen—”

“i trusted you.”

“baby—”

“what happened to our wedding vows? what happened to in sickness and in death? a little cavity is enough to change all that? i’m scared to think what you’d do if i lost an arm.”

“well, you’re not the strongest for nothing,” you point out, chuckling nervously, “so we have nothing to worry about there.”

“i can’t believe you,” he spits, turning away from you with crossed arms and a quiet hmph.

“toru, you can’t expect us all to give up sugar just because you can’t stop making poor health choices,” you argue exasperatedly.

so what if you secretly enjoy a kitkat here and there? you deserve it for dealing with not one, but two children at home every single day—sometimes three if shoko comes over, her lifestyle choices aren’t any better. satoru should let you enjoy a piece of candy or two until he fixes his terrible habits that could very well set a terrible example for your very young and impressionable daughter.

“well, i have adult money of my own,” satoru huffs, “and as an adult, i’ll be purchasing my own candy to hide in my own drawer that i won’t share with you since we’re now apparently a family that doesn’t think sharing is caring.”

“i don’t know if i’m raising one child or two,” you sigh tiredly, rubbing a hand over your face.

satoru grabs the bag of candy off the shelf, promptly placing it in the cart before walking off ahead of you as he pushes it. your daughter grabs your hand and smiles, tugging you along.

“c’mon mommy,” she says brightly, “you said we can go to the park!”

—————— BONUS ——————

“are you serious, satoru?” you ask incredulously, watching as he comes back to sit on the other end of the bench, ice cream cone in hand.

he didn’t even bring you one—what an asshole.

“oh sorry,” he shrugs, “i figured you and our daughter were planning on getting ice cream on your own without me. since, you know, apparently you guys love to have lots of things without me.”

“you’re being so dramatic—”

“i want ice cream too!” you hear a small voice call from the distance, making you turn to your daughter as she sprints over to you from the playground, eyeing the cone in satoru’s hand.

“you heard her,” he drawls, licking at his strawberry ice cream mockingly, “why don’t you go buy her a secret cone. i won’t look.”

being a single mom of two is a full time job, you think, you didn’t sign up for this.

guess who has two cavities ?? a certain brother of mine. guess who’s entire household has to give up sweets now for their brother’s inability to have proper dental hygiene ?? if you guessed me, you might just be psychic :O

[nerdwedgiesexposed]

Skinny nerd practically begging for his whitey tighties to be yanked gets his butt flossed 😂

[i99zhuo]

A routine inspired by thewizardliz ? She has skin care hair care routine reads motivating books

How to live like thewizardliz 🧚🏼‍♀️🪄⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ quit your lazy girl era!

This is a guide on daily routines inspired by Thewizardliz! This routine is perfect to stop being lazy and pathetic and finally start taking care of yourself!

content list (routines):

morning

study

workout

shower + self care

night

(_ _ ) . . z Z⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚୨ :★: ୧ ∗  ˖࣪ ໒꒱  ˚₊·

✸ ꒰ morning routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

🧼 First things first, after you wake up make sure to drink water to boost your metabolism throughout the day! Also, create a mind movie so you can watch it everyday after you wake up.

Now, take your journal and start writing about your dream, ideal higher self, ask yourself questions like ‘What reality do i want to create?´ 'Who do i look up to?’ ‘What is the behavior I need to change about myself?’ ‘What's a new habit that I would like to create?’ ‘What is a thing I can focus on right now?’. After we have in mind who we want to become, it's important that every little decision you make today is centered to achieve your goals, and become your dream self. You can listen to a podcast while doing this so you get motivation!

💶 Then, head to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror and start repeating positive affirmations, such as ‘I am so beautiful’ or ‘My hair looks so pretty today’, even if you don't believe it, having a positive mindset is going to help us to stay in track with our goals!

Take care of your teeth, Liz says that our smile is one of the most important things in a person, and one of the key things that is going to make you more attractive! so, make sure to brush your teeth, floss, clean your tongue, etc.

🛣 Liz has a rather simple skincare routine, since her skin is so sensitive, it only consists of using a foam cleanser, moisturizer and eye cream to help with her eye bags.

Next step is to research and find our own personal clothing and makeup style, find out your body type, personal color, face shape, etc. It doesn't matter if you have to mix multiple styles that already exist to make your own! The most important thing is to feel comfortable while wearing those clothes or having that type of makeup on your face.

🏔 Liz doesn't like to force herself to have breakfast, she just dont eat if she's not hungry, however if you are hungry rather than focusing on calories focus on how nutritious your meal is. Whatsoever if you are not hungry and you are not going to eat, make sure to always take your vitamins and supplements!

✸ ꒰ study routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

Yes, it's time to drink a little more water!

⛰ Liz doesn't have a settled study routine but, it's important to spend our time wisely, if you can finish an assignment way before the time it's due, DO IT! Also, she emphasized that knowledge leads to confidence. If you put effort in your studies, every little thing in your life will slowly fall into place.

✸ ꒰ workout routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

First, set healthy goals, like toning up your body or building muscle, try not to make ‘just being skinny’ your goal.

🧩 second, don't measure yourself with a scale or measuring tape and focus on how you look in the mirror, are you satisfied? if you are then you are done with the intense workout routine!

Liz goes to the gym and has her own personal training program, but here’s some kind of exercises she recommends; weight training, pilates and dancing with her main focus being toning up her abs and butt.

🏄‍♀️ Remember to drink water and that consistency is more important than perfection, go at your own pace, it doesn't matter if you can't do a 2 hour workout and look snatched in 3 days and you can only do a 5 minute workout, every little effort adds up!

✸ ꒰ shower and self care routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

Before showering, do dry brushing to exfoliate your skin and increase circulation (1-2 times per week). Then use shampoo and conditioner, research to find the best one for you, what may help others won't help you. Liz also uses a hair mask 1 to 2 times per week to get that shiny silk hair.

🎾 After showering take some time to shape and pluck your eyebrows depending on your face shape and what impression you want to give! 

Liz uses face masks 1 to 2 times per week to cleansing her face deeply, then she does her skincare. After applying all the products do a lymphatic massage on your face and neck, you can also cool down your face with massagers or cold spoons for an extra depuff.

🍾 For self care, you can journal again, search for shadow work prompts, think of what things you should unlearn and relearn and don't forget to practice gratitude. Or you can take time to clean your room or house, you deserve to have a clean safe place! 

Oh! and don't forget to drink water again.

✸ ꒰ night routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

🧃 Time for dinner! (only if you are not full yet), again, make sure to focus on nutrients rather than calories. Don't forget to drink a glass of water with your dinner. You can watch a documentary while eating to keep gaining even more knowledge.

Now, do your oral hygiene routine again. Also, put on eyelash conditioner and serum to wake up with perfect lashes! Then wear a silk cap or do a protective hairstyle to protect your hair from getting damaged while you're sleeping.

🍵 Then get in bed and drink a cup of tea with collagen to start relaxing your body. and it's finally time to manifest! watch your mind movie again and use your most useful method (affirming visualizing, subliminals, etc.), don't forget to ask god, the universe or whatever you believe in for signals and help!

Afterwards, you can read an inspirational book like ‘atomic habits’ or ‘the art of thinking clearly’ to keep nourishing your brain. keep a reachable goal like reading 5 pages everyday and then decide if you want to continue reading or not.

🥬 Before sleeping listen to a guided meditation, liz have one to be more confident and one to attract money, choose one that aligns with your goals!

Finally fall asleep in a healthy sleeping position, Liz sleeps in her back looking at the roof, but you can choose your favorite position, don't forget to get a pillow that fits the position (example: tall and lofty pillow -> for sleeping on your side)

🍈 Good night!

Woah second request done!! hope you liked this one was pretty fun to do and I might add some of these things in my own personal routine so I don't fall back into laziness, anyways how about you guys??

toodlezzzz!1!!!!!

[thehaberdasheress]

Breaking down the sewing kit

This required the most work of all the notions up on the shop, since I got and assembled all the pieces individually. I've got six of them to sell right now.

Included:

The tin: It's compact, roughly the size of a playing card, with a hinged lid that fits on snugly.

Seam ripper: Compact enough to fit into the tin, sharp, and nimble. (Pro tip: Keep the clear cap around to fit onto the butt end of the tool when you use it, and make life easier on your hands!)

Needles: 5 assorted sewing needles, sharps with different thicknesses and eye sizes.

Needle threader: I went on a quest to find decent ones, since the little tin ones in your average sewing kits break easily and drive me wild. The plastic flower is easy to grasp, and it makes threading your needle (especially when working with crewel wool or embroidery floss) SO much easier.

Thread: 5 metres/5.5 yds of glazed cotton quilting thread. Choice of white or black. I am SO sick of crappy sewing-kit thread, which is usually flimsy AND a nightmare to sew with, so I've spun up spools of my favourite handsewing thread instead. It's smooth and sturdy, and less likely to snarl or knot as you're working.

Pins and pincushion: The secret ingredient is a strong and tiny magnet, which sticks to the tin but can also be taken out. It keeps all 20 of these sharp glass-headed pins in line without breaking a sweat. Once I discovered magnetic pincushions, I never turned back. You just have to throw your pins at them to make them stick.

The sewing kit on Etsy

There are also three things I think are good accompaniments to the kit, but kept them separate to keep the kit's price down.

Thread wax: 100% beeswax thread conditioner. Running your sewing thread through the wax will make it much tamer and easier to deal with. It saves SO many headaches if you do a lot of sewing by hand.

Leather thimble: The handsewer's best friend. Comes in small adult and large adult sizes. I use these myself to keep handsewing from causing inflammation and nerve issues when I have a lot of embroidery to do. Leather thimbles allow sensitivity and freedom of movement I find hard to achieve with metal or plastic ones.

October 2024 special offer: If you buy kit, wax, and thimble all together, you get 20% off. That's a $20 CAD value, and a $16 CAD price.

[trolliworms]

I’m finally gonna make my post about the pjo show, spoilers if you haven’t seen it

I loved it so so much, so I’m just going to list some of my favorite things

“I am Sally Jackson’s son!”

Literally just everything about Sally she was such a queen I love her

“You burn what you’ll miss most.” And then he burns his blue jellybeans to talk to his mom instead of his dad, who’s an actual god.

“I finally have some real friends here. I think they really like me.” Percy, are you trying to make me cry?

“Not you sunshine, you’re with me.”

Flossing Percy, his smile when he pet the lizard, that whole scene was just perfect. I love Walker so much he’s so perfect.

“You fell in love with God? Like, Jesus?”

Luke. Just Luke omg. “She’s my little sister.” The way you can tell how much he despises the gods. The way he’s looking out for Percy. The way you know how he’s going to betray him in the end 😭😭😭. Also why did they have to make him so fine?

Annabeth was perfect, no complaints. “I’m sorry.” Then pushes him into water lmao. I feel like I can feel everything she’s thinking, Leah did such a good job.

Grover was perfect, too. I really liked how he told Percy his mom wasn’t actually dead, even though he might have gotten in trouble for it. A+++

Clarisse’s scream when her staff breaks, the absolute despair in her face. You just know that staff meant the world to her because it was a gift from her dad, I honestly felt really bad for her when that happened.

But Percy in that fight scene? He was such a beast like omg. I feel like in his pov in the books you don’t realize how good a fighter he is, but now we can see him kick butt without looking through his goofball lenses. I especially liked during that scene when Clarisse looks at her friend, and you can just see them exchange a really confused look because they expected him to suck lol.

The way they explained quests through Mr. D wanting alcohol and tricking Percy? It was played off as a joke but that is like genius writing. You get quests explained, it characterizes Percy, Grover, and Mr. D a little more, and it’s a goofy little joke.

Uncle Rick’s cameo!!! In the office scene!!! When I saw him I literally screamed at my friend, “THERES UNCLE RICK! IN A CHAIR!” lol

Bonus: the credits are so pretty 😭 I love them

Thank you for reading friends! Go watch the show if you haven’t!!! <333

[pandora-writes-one-piece]

The Meet Cute - Ace's Story - 9

Source for pic

Firestarter 9

Word Count: 4410

Tags For The Whole Story: Fem!Reader, slight NSFW (It's mature, not explicit), slightly sugestive behaviour, flirting, jealousy, frenemies, sexual tension, miscommunication, unresolved tension, slight angst, slow-burn, romantic comedy vibes, alternate universe modern setting, swearing, drinking, fluff, feelings realisation, denial of feelings.

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: After moving away from the hustle and bustle of Grand Line City to help your father around the property following a horse-riding accident - and in the hopes of healing your broken heart after your asshole ex-fiancé cheated - you settle into the country calmness of the Calm Belt. You intended to have some alone time, to reflect and heal, but your childhood friend's older brother, Ace, seems to be there just to upset that fragile peace you're striving for. He's a flirt and a womaniser. But why does he also have to be so handsome and perfect? And how long can you resist his charms?

Notes: Almost at the end! I was planning on having only 10 chapters, but chapter 10 - which is in Ace's POV - is starting to get big. So maybe 10 and an epilogue? We'll see! Also, sorry if the next chapter will suffer a little delay, I will try to finish it soon, but life has been getting in the way! 😶

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn

Masterlist for previous introductory chapters.

|Previous Chapter 🔞 | | |Next Chapter|

Days roll by slowly and you feel the happiest you've ever been. The only time you're apart from Ace is when he's working or when you're helping your father. You spend all the rest of your time together, hanging out, getting to know each other, and having so much sex.

You have only spent one night apart since you two hooked up. The night after you visited the fire station, he told you he was busy with work because the reports from the whole week had piled up and he was going to pull an all-nighter, so he couldn't be with you. The other nights were spent in each other’s company. 

You slept with him at the fire station once and then he developed the habit of climbing your bedroom window so you could be together. Even though he usually arrives when you're already asleep - because of work - and it's not until you sense his hot touches and lingering kisses that you realise he's next to you. 

And you both have to be very quiet, because Shanks would be very mad if he found you desecrating your childhood bed. 

Finally the last day of the Jubilee arrives and it's Ace's day off work, so you decide to turn it into a proper date. You'll eat something there, play a few games - you've been eyeing a giant stuffed panda since the first day - maybe ride the Ferris wheel, and then Ace suggests driving to your spot for a privileged view of the fireworks at midnight. 

And after… 

Well, you'll both see where the night takes you. 

You have already eaten some snacks at the food stalls and are now enjoying a piece of candy floss - which Ace keeps stealing from you - when a little kid bumps into your leg and falls on his butt. It takes you a bit to calm him down and find his parents and suddenly you lose sight of Ace. 

Raising your eyebrow, you take another bite of your candy and wait in the same spot. He might have seen someone he knew and wandered off to say hello. 

“Did you miss me, Firestarter? I've only been gone for five minutes.” He says from behind, near your ear as he lays a kiss on your cheek. 

“Oh, barely even noticed you were gone.” Sticking out your tongue at him, you offer the rest of the candy and he happily takes it. “Why were you gone?”

“Business.” He chuckles softly and winks, letting you know that he will either tell you later or it's a surprise. “Let's go to the Ferris wheel.” 

You take the hand he offers you and smile at the giddiness you feel from such a simple gesture. It's amazing how he can warm your heart just by holding your hand. Waiting in line for the wheel takes almost no time and you both hop into the booth, settling in together and sighing at the sight.

You're about to snuggle into his embrace when he takes something from his pocket and you raise your eyebrow. “Turn.” He instructs, rotating a finger to indicate you should turn your back on him. Curious, you do as he tells you. 

His fingers are soft and warm as he moves little strands of your hair aside. You hear a small clasp and then he places a necklace on your chest, clasping it at the back. It's a locket with a heart. 

“This is lovely, Ace. It's beautiful.”

His lips scorch your skin as he presses them against your nape. He murmurs an agreement and continues his worship down your exposed spine, leaving a trail of kisses and feather-like touches, creating a burning and aching sensation all over your body. 

“Ace…” You whine and melt into his touch. 

“You're so perfect.” He keeps murmuring sweet nothings against your skin and you turn around, enveloping his neck in your arms and losing yourself against his lips in a passionate kiss. 

No outside view compares to the stars his touch reveals. The languid strokes of his tongue against yours trace out a constellation of your own, while his fingers caress your skin, igniting goosebumps like the fiery trail of a meteor. 

The booth comes to a stop far earlier than both of you would like and you emerge flushing, panting and quite dishevelled. Both sporting equally goofy grins of fools in love. 

No, that's not true. You know you're in love, but you have no idea how Ace feels about you. 

Maybe you'll confess once the fireworks start? See how he feels about you. You know he cares for you, that much you can tell. And you're willing to wait, if he's not at the same stage as you are, since he did claim to want a serious relationship. 

Yeah, you'll ask him. 

As the resolution sets in and the midnight hour approaches, you start to make your way back to the car, but Ace gets called over by some friends and you tell him to go say hi as you browse some vendor stands. 

“So you're Ace's new thing?” The voice is haughty and scornful and it takes a hot minute for you to realise that the person is talking to you. 

“Excuse me?” You ask as you turn around and are greeted by a tall, elegant girl with a snide smile. 

“Honey, don't play dumb.” She spits as she throws her hair over her shoulder. “Ace likes to have playthings to toy with from time to time. He gets tired of his one-night stands and dates a rando for a few weeks. Until he gets bored.” She laughs a high-pitched annoying laugh into her hand and stares at you from top to bottom, making you feel self-conscious about your casual outfit - denim overall shorts and a cute over the belly top. “Oh, and honey, you are certainly boring.”

The remark leaves a hot blush on your cheeks as it stings. This girl is poking her finger in the wound and digging, making it worse. She's the type of girl Ace would go for: tall, skinny, pretty. And you… you're just you. A normal girl, nothing too special. 

“Enjoy your time with him, sunshine, soon enough, he'll trade up. I'm sure he's told you you're special, and that he's never met someone like you; that you were never just some random girl, right? Does he have a special nickname for you, too?”

You're pretty sure your teeth will snap from all the grinding they're doing. You want to tell this girl to go to hell because you know Ace cares for you. But what she's saying strikes too close to the truth for your liking. It's all too real. And that's when she hits you with the final blow. 

“I bet he's taking you to his special place to see the fireworks, right? Think you're the only one, honey? Think again. Been there, done that. And here I am. Jilted, as you'll also be.” She gives another high-pitched cackle and you swallow the lump in your throat. There's nothing you can say to her. No comeback, no witty response. She's telling the truth, you're sure of it. “And think about it, honeybee, didn't he tell you the other night he was too busy to spend the night with you? You thought it was about work? Oh, honey…”

You practically freeze on the spot. Yes you thought he was busy with work. You didn't doubt it at all! But if she knew about this, could she have been the one to spend time with him? And here you thought that you were actually special, that this time he was telling the truth and really wanted to be with you. 

Turns out you really are just another girl? 

You see Ace coming back and the girl disappears just as quickly as she appeared. You're standing in the same spot, heart thumping against your chest, eyes prickling and throat dry. 

“Hey, Firestarter, are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost.” He touches your cheek softly and you recoil, a hurt look on your features. “What's wrong?” Ace eyes you with confusion. 

But you don't quite know what to tell him. “I… this girl…” You take a deep steadying breath. “I… never mind.” Swallowing the huge lump that has formed in your throat, you reluctantly accept his hand. 

Your head keeps replaying the words that girl told you, like a broken record, echoing them over and over. And every time your heart constricts harder against your chest as tears start to prickle the corners of your eyes. Once you reach the jeep, you feel Ace's worried look burning into you, yet when he asks you what's wrong again, you don't really know what to tell him. 

You don't know if you're just making things up in your head or if what the girl said is true. What you do know is that your already fleeting trust in Ace has been rattled. And you feel more insecure than ever. 

“Can you take me home, Ace, please?” Your voice is a mere whisper and you can't force your eyes to meet his. Are you really just another thing for him to play with when he's bored? Or are you actually as special as he makes you feel? You need time alone to process and think and you can't do it with him giving you worrying looks. 

“You don't want to go see the fireworks? At our spot?” He sounds more sad than upset, but you shake your head at his words. A scornful expression on your lips as a dry chuckle rumbles through your throat. 

“Is it really our spot, Ace? You told me it was special and you wanted to show it to me because I am special. And that's fine. But I'm not the only special girl you've had in your life, am I? I'm just your current special girl.” You're stubborn, and so are your tears. Yet you're not surprised when one breaks through the barrier you were constructing and falls down your cheek. “And that's also okay! You've had your life before me, and I can't blame you for that! Especially because I knew that before we happened.” A silly little sob escapes your lips and Ace stares at you, helpless. It looks as if he wants to hold you and comfort you, but you're giving him all the signs that you want him to stay away from you, so he does just that. 

“I'm really confused at the moment, Ace. Please, take me home.” You climb into the passenger seat, vowing not to say anything else because you're feeling hurt and slighted and you know you'll snap and end up shouting and getting mad at Ace. 

And you can't really do that. You told him the truth. He had a life before you reconnected. He could have dated, fucked, kissed half the town or the whole town. It was none of your business. 

It still hurts, though. Because you really were starting to feel special. In your mind you had a made-up scenario where Ace had never felt for anyone the way he feels for you. That you're the first girl he ever fell in love with. Yet, according to that girl, there were other special girls before. And it should be fine, as you keep repeating to yourself. 

But it's not fine. 

Because you wanted to be special for Ace. 

And you're not. 

Ace climbs into the jeep and before starting the engine, his eyes try to pry some kind of information from you as to why you're behaving like this. You keep silent and face the window, effectively shutting him out. Sighing deeply he starts the car at the same time bright lights erupt in the sky, though neither of you cares to watch them now. 

When Ace stops the jeep in front of your porch, you climb out immediately and he follows you. You're halfway up the stairs when he grabs your wrist to stop you. The burn in your eyes is getting stronger and you just want to open the dam and cry your heart out. 

Whispering your name Ace wills you to turn. You do, reluctantly, but have trouble facing his gaze. 

“Are you going to at least tell me what happened before you go?” He sounds so distraught. Enough to make you glimpse at his dark eyes, though your expression is still very sombre and pained. 

“A girl came to talk to me, Ace. She told me you had a tendency to get bored of one-night stands when you found a special girl. You would give her a cute nickname, treat her as if she's the only girl in the world, take her to your special place and then, once you got bored again, you traded up. She made it quite clear that I'm not your type at all.” You couldn't help the sting and venom from dripping out of your words. 

You had been mulling over the girl's words during the silent ride, growing angrier and angrier at them, at her, and at yourself. You were the gullible one for believing that someone would find you special. 

“But you are special.” He says frowning and tugging at your wrist in a feeble attempt to get you to descend the steps and come closer to him. Yet you don't relent. 

“Yet you can't deny what she said.”

He looks down and sighs. “I don't lie to you, Firestarter. You know that. You know there were other girls before, but I have never taken them to our place. And they might have been special if you want to call them that, but none of them compares to you.”

You do know that he doesn't lie to you. He told you that and you chose to believe it. 

Though… “The other night when you said you were busy, did you meet with a girl?”

Ace grits his teeth and avoids your gaze as your jaw drops in surprise. He's not denying it. 

“It's not what you think. She came by the station to-...”

You pull your wrist hard, away from him and he has no choice but to open his hand for fear of hurting you and he lets you go. “I don't want to hear this right now, Ace. I don't. I need to think.” You place your index and thumb against the bridge of your nose, trying to both contain a throbbing headache and the torrent of incoming tears. “I need some time apart to think things through and if you start to sputter excuses I'll just be angry and that's not what I want. I need to think about us objectively.”

You take a step back, climbing another step, still shaking your head and raising your hand to stop his words or his strides. To stop him. Period. 

“Don't reach out, Ace. Don't. I'll speak with you when I'm ready.” You make the mistake of looking into his face before you turn and you can almost feel your heart shatter into tiny pieces. 

He looks devastated. 

Yet, so do you. 

-*-

You barely sleep all night and each time you get up - often, actually - to get food, water or use the bathroom, you notice that Ace has a small light on in his room as well. He must be struggling to find sleep, too. 

Every time you think about the look on his face, you feel like crying. It seems as if you are special to him, it really does. But are you, really? Or is it just wishful thinking? 

Deep down you have trust issues that still need healing. Your ex cheating on you only brought them to the surface, but you know enough about trauma to realise that many of these issues stem from childhood and from feeling abandoned by Shanks. Although you hold no grudge against your father, you know you still haven't fully healed. Little triggers like what happened with that girl, are all it takes to get you spiralling out of control. 

You know you need to deeply evaluate your feelings for Ace before taking this relationship further. Because there will always be girls from his past. Ace has been around. You knew that. So it's bound to happen. 

Girls hold grudges like a miser hoards gold! 

They will come and try to claim him, throw you off with hurtful words, and plant seeds of doubt in your mind. You need to decide now if you are willing - and strong enough - to face that every now and then. 

And if the relationship you build will be strong enough to withstand it. 

Sighing, you check your phone again. You're fighting hard against calling him. You've caught him writing something to you twice, seeing the speech bubbles appear. Yet, he hasn’t sent any text. Although part of you wishes he had reached out, another part of you is glad he's respecting your request. 

You do need time to process. 

Your heart, however, doesn’t. It keeps pounding relentlessly against your chest, reminding you it has already made its decision: it wants Ace. Desperately. It's a longing and a yearning so deep it almost aches. 

You miss him. 

You miss his scent, his touch, his voice and his kisses. You need him. 

You cuddle the pillow he uses when he visits and take a deep sniff, filling your lungs with his scent and shed a few more tears. The only other night you've spent apart was… 

The one the girl knew about. The one he was probably with her. 

Sitting up you throw his pillow to the floor and cross your legs, finding your phone and unlocking it. You find Luffy’s contact and rejoice when you realise he's online. You had a vague idea he was at the firestation today, but this confirms it. 

You call, and it rings twice before he answers, greeting you with your name. “How are you?” He sounds worried. Has Ace spoken to him already? 

“Hey, Loof.” Your voice sounds hoarse and raspy from all the crying. “I'm… feeling shitty.” You chuckle softly while fiddling with your ankle bracelet. 

“Ace told me you needed some time apart from him.” He sounds serious, which is so rare that you sit up straighter. “Want to talk about it?”

“Hmm, hmm.” You mumble between a sob and a hiccup. 

He calls your name again with a sigh. “Ace really likes you. I've never heard him speak about someone the way he does about you. He even told Grandpa you two were getting serious. He never tells Grandpa anything!”

The pressure on your chest builds up and starts to expand. Does he really think you're special?

“Loof… this girl came to me at the festival. She knew Ace couldn't be with me the other night. She implied she was with him and when I asked him, he didn't deny it.”

You sound miserable. You can't help but think that perhaps you're the one keeping yourself from being happy. You've had that thought before. When you discovered that Ichiji was cheating on you, your first thought was that it was your fault. That you deserved to be cheated on because you hadn’t tried hard enough. 

And now, your mind instantly goes to the same place. Ace spent the night with another girl because you just aren't good enough for him. You're not what he wants in a girl. 

Completely ignoring everything he tells you and how he acts towards you. Because he keeps acting devoted and dedicated to you, and you're too dumb or too self-absorbed in self-pity to realise it. 

Perhaps it's time to stop feeling sorry for the misery you create for yourself and start taking responsibility for your actions. 

Ultimately, you have to be the one responsible for your fate. 

“I know who she is. Ace was with her for a little while, but it wasn't that serious. I didn't even meet her officially… Anyway, she did come by the station the other day, when Ace was working. He was talking to you on the phone when she came looking for him. The station issn’t exactly private if you're not in the rooms, and he wasn't. Maybe she overheard the conversation between the two of you?” He exhales your name on the other side. “She was barely here for five minutes. Ace told her off and she left pouting. I'm sure that whatever she told you was meant to try and split you up.”

You're seething now. Obviously it was meant to split you two up! She couldn't know about your trust issues, but anyone who's dating Ace has to have them. He's a player. There will always be a nagging feeling about other girls he's been with. So it wasn't exactly a shot in the dark. She baited the hook and you swallowed it whole. 

You can bet she's just waiting for you to blow up your relationship - or beginnings of one - to smithereens so she can pick up Ace's pieces and help him get over you. 

“Fucking hell, she will!”

Luffy laughs on the other end. A short shishishi that gets you laughing along with him. “That's the spirit!”

Tears are still streaming down your face. But you might've reached a decision. You're going to take that leap of faith and give all of yourself to Ace. No reservations. You need to accept him for who he is. 

And, more importantly, you need to trust him. 

The previous plan will have to go back into action. Tell him you love him. Maybe you can build from there? Because you do love him. And there's no bitch in the world that's going to tear you apart like that. 

“Thank you, Luffy. That was enlightening. I needed that.” You sigh into the phone, your voice much lighter. 

“Anytime! You know, I really like my dumb brother.” And he laughs again, making you chuckle with him. “I've never seen him as happy as he's been these last few days. So talk to him soon, will you?”

You promise to do it first thing tomorrow since sleep is finally claiming you, and you say your goodbyes to your friend. Before going to bed, you pick up Ace's pillow from the floor and check out his window - the lights are now out. 

Okay, you'll both get to sleep on it. Tomorrow is a new day. 

-*-

Yet, tomorrow begins with a raging storm. There's pouring rain everywhere and you rush to help Shanks with the animals. Both of you are working hard and pulling the hay bales inside the barn, because the forecast did not foresee this deluge, and the bales were fine outside. 

Shanks tells you he tried to call Ace to help - your heart somersaults - but he was heading to the station to help since there were floods all over town. 

Well that's just another thing the storm manages to hinder. Your encounter with Ace. You were planning on heading to his house as soon as you helped Shanks, to talk with him, yet you can't do that now because he's not there. 

And there's no use in calling him. For two reasons, actually: one, he's probably super busy and two, the lines are acting up because of the storm and the service is down. 

So you decide to wait out the storm. 

Yet, the afternoon rolls by without any sign of the storm stopping, and now you're overly anxious. Ace is still not home - the jeep is out - and you need to speak with him. You don't think Luffy would've shared your conversation with his brother so Ace is probably still feeling devastated by the way you parted yesterday. You feel responsible. And you miss him so much. 

You try to call him again and by the third time, you finally get through. 

Ace sputters your name with surprise. “Ace!” You can barely hear him and you're pretty sure he can barely hear you. There's lots of static and the thunder and pouring rain don't help at all. “Ace! Can you hear me?”

“Barely!” He says something else but you can't understand it. 

“Are you at the station?”

“Yes.”

“I'm going to meet you there! We need to talk.”

You're not sure he heard you at all, but you think you hear him saying for you to stay home. Probably because of the storm. Yet, it seems like the rain has finally relented so what better time to go to him than now?

You're not quite sure if he hears you or not, but you need to get this off your chest before you go. “Ace, I love you.”

You hold on a second but are only greeted by static. He might not have heard you. 

Sighing, you get the car keys and send a text to your dad - even if you don’t know if he’ll get it or not, so you’ll leave a note in the kitchen as well. Shanks is over at Benn Beckman helping him because the roof of the barn broke and they need to fix it because all the animals are getting wet. Shanks promised he would not get on top of the roof, in case his back gave out, but he's still helping out any way he can. So you let him know you are going out so he doesn't worry. 

You've gotten into the habit of patting your car before turning the ignition and it responds well to praise, so that's exactly what you do before starting the engine and it doesn't let you down. 

Grinning, you make your way to the station, going well under the limit because the road is wet, slippery and the rain reduces your visibility significantly. 

You can't wait to see Ace. You need to feel him against you. There's an unending desire to feel his lips moving in tandem with yours, his tongue caressing your own as his hands explore you. The stupid silly grin doesn't leave your face. 

Not even when you spot the tiny black cat in the middle of the road and you swerve right to avoid hitting the poor thing. 

Not even when your car slips and slides as you push the brakes. 

Not when the deafening sound of metal crashing, windows breaking and the sickening crunch of broken bones fills your ears. 

It all happens too fast. 

Then darkness descends just as quickly.

[shouldering-worlds]

I'm sorry, but Dan and Phil putting Tabitha into a bra and butt floss to SLEEP was so fucked of them

[sparkly-sediment]

tf2 headcanon nsfw

tw butts and stuff

eats pussy:

Medic

He’s methodical about it and def gets pleasure from the results of his work rather than the work itself

The voices say he licks more than sucks

Works in intervals like an athlete. Devours then savors, chugs then sips

Might nip at the inside of your thighs tho

preferences lean more towards bush as he always loves a challenge.

If you had a really big bush he would casually floss with it like “oh hold on I have something in my teeth” and then keep going

Uses his knowledge of pressure points for evil and maintains rigid German eye contact throughout I fear

Solid 8/10 but if you don’t like the freaky shit he says or are autistic (so dislike the eye contact) 6-7/10 but always messier than Spy

Spit dripping legs shaking

Spy

He’s pretty good at it but if you aren’t madly in love with him it feels kinda icky

JUST HIS VIBE. HIS CANON VIBE. I DON’T WANT THAT NEAR MY 🐱

fanon vibe tho 😏

His mouth is so dry and it’s clear he learned this as a business venture

Eats in the slow way brother cherishes a build up and edging perhaps

Very smug about it definitely condscending and if you like the teasing vibe then great!! But it will be there regardless he’s just like that 😔

Takes it very seriously though. He is on a mission and it will not be complete until you finish minimum of twice

Some emotional distance afterwards. Aftercare really isn’t a priority and if you hang out after he immediately smokes a cigarette and responds in grunts

6/10 score brought down by low emotional availability ty

Unless you’re Scout’s mom then 10/10 woman will see god and it will look like her man

sniper

Love is a sacrament best taken kneeling

Devours you like a madman left to starve in the bush. The type of shit to give you flashbacks during dinner. Sitting at the table and suddenly you have to breathe and crane your neck 😩

Also enjoys a bush but prefers you to be most comfortable with it + shaved pussy he will engulf

Frantic? Starts off wide and exploratory but then locks in and he’s holding your legs open and going wild

He’ll finger you during which is definitely a nice touch, but tbh he’s good enough it isn’t even necessary

Thinks making out after is hot and is good with aftercare. He wants it too because unlike some people *COUGH HACK* he wants to feel that connection

Definitely into being a bit dominant but honestly? Pet his hair and tell him how good it feels and you’re bound for life

9/10 I think he may he awkward before.

Like when you have food and someone else starts staring like “why are you looking at me like that” but in this situation you are the food

He has a hard time approaching the subject at first and will probably just ask if he can go down on you without much prior romancing

He has an anxiety disorder 💔 but that’s the only disordered function 😏

will hold hands during

Heavy

You will see celestial beings during and after

First off, Heavy absolutely eats pussy, though his partners are typically men. He does Not care what the grooming is because if you’re at the point he wants to do this to you it will be DONE

He’s grown he don’t give a fuck

Takes eat literally lmao look how big his mouth is!!! Half the reason it’s so grand is the size of his tongue 👅 😛

Heavy is more sensitive than the others. More nurturing. He likes pleasing a woman and by god does he know how to do it

Very rare for someone to unlock this event though and he has to be kneeling on the ground with you on a bed or something because of how tall he is

Don’t make him hang off the bed babe he’s 6’5

8/10 (thick man fingers aren’t always hot)

Engineer

You know how sometimes after you cum you’ll have period cramps? Or that uncomfortable squeeze? I feel like after oral from him you’d get that. Just a premalition

It’s good. It’s decent. Not every man is a sex god but as long as you communicate with your partner and genuinely try it’s gonna be okay

He’s so into himself omg so the more vocal you are the better he thinks he’s doing ie. the better he feels

Spit. Slurp. All that ooey gooey pleasurable but nasty shit. Not to kink shame girl I would be into it too but you would definitely have to go clean up with a wet washcloth minimum

I feel like he’s REALLY good at fingering like exceptionally so. He’ll find the spot that makes you gasp and writhe and work it!!

The sensitive hands of an empath 😌

Head game not strong tho 😔

5/10 depending on his mood

7/10 if he’s drunk

Demo

The best of them all?

Demo listens really well. He wants to you enjoy yourself just as much as he does, and he knows he’s about to have a great fucking time

All over the place. Squeezes your boobs and suckles. So good. Too good. You become slightly weirded out by how well he latches but before you dislike it he moves on

His hands roam while he goes down on you and he’ll give your hand a reassuring squeeze on occasion

Panting against your inner thigh and locks in

Uses his hands during and will sink up the curl of his fingers with his tongue

You will smell a little yeasty from all the beer on his breath 😬 always go pee after sex, but if any part of him touches your vagina, you need to pH balance immediately

You’ll be walking funny 😩😩😩 enjoys hanging out after. He needs emotional security too!

His favorite activity after is to lay together and drink ❤️

10/10

Doesn’t eat pussy:

Scout

HEAR ME OUT. he doesn’t want to

Kinda guy to keep his macaroni salad separate from his meat. Doesn’t mix foods, doesn’t eat pussy, and is barely literate

It’s a hard life out here

Scout definitely has potential but it just isn’t fully realized. Very much going to be whipped into shape by his first serious girlfriend and he will be grateful for it!!

Wants to be a macho sex guy making the gals scream and tweak, but he simply is not

Fool in an endearing way so maybe he’d try if you asked and lick your thigh for a second

Pokes the labia major with his tongue thrice and goes “Heh, did you cum? “

You didn’t.

Pyro

In my head, they are not freaking

Thank you 🙏🏻

Unknown

Soldier

He might. There’s something wrong with him but he might

Either eats pussy like a rabid animal OR thinks it’s gross (also thinks blowjobs are gross I just know it would go both ways) hands are okay though

Tbh I don’t think you’d want him to eat you out 😭

Does the head things where he shakes like he’s in a watermelon eating contest

[haruharuz]

*smacks hands together* alright guys since I started cracking the code to finally getting shit together imma give it to you. It’s not some 60 day fix your life hardcore butthole burner 3000 challenge. It isn’t gonna magically take your fucking depression away.

But listen, listen.

Put floss in a visible place— floss picks work fine. Start flossing before or after you brush your teeth.

Stretch in bed at night before you sleep. Two minutes is better than no minutes— butt up, crack your back, touch your toes or calves or something.

Start doing a “closer” on your room / home every night. Even if you’re exhausted. All you need to do is pick up the dirty clothes and put them in a hamper. Pick up the trash and throw it away. If you have a dishwasher, shove dishes in it and turn it on. If you don’t, do the easiest dishes you can. Wipe the counters down.

Sleepy time tea by celestial seasonings helps the skin because it’s got spearmint and helps anxiety because of the chamomile.

Comfort water bottle, 16 oz or more. Drink up.

Fill your water filter to the TOP every night before you sleep, now you have lots tomorrow and won’t avoid it as much.

Underwater aquarium ambience with fishies is great to watch and relax to.

Read fanfiction as a reward for doing something tough. Write one or use some shit like CAI to help you cope.

Organizing is hard. Get organizing shit from dollar tree and you’re done.

Have a hard time eating veggies? What’s your favorite veggie? Make that the majority of the veggie on your plate and the rest of the veggies aren’t as many. Huzzah.

Dino nuggets + tater tots + carrots is a perfectly fine meal. Eat.

ACCOMMODATE DONT IGNORE. I ignored and pushed neurodivergent things + chronic symptoms away for years. It did nothing. ACCOMMODATE IT.

Structure your week in hard days Vs easy days. Monday is my busy day, I do as much of the annoying cleaning as I possibly can on that day. I have my groceries delivered. I have lots to do. Tuesday is more relaxed but I finish shit on my to do lists. Other days are easier, because I don’t have to spend all damn day cleaning.

Do your fuckin stretching and cardio and whatnot in your pajamas. You don’t even need pants. Literally just do it naked before your shower if you want.

[bilbob963]

Pomni: when I suggested helping jax…this is not what I ment? What perverted ideas went through those dentures of yours Caine!!!?

Caine: I…urrm…I thought being a bunny might make him feel more comfortable?

Pomni: WHAT! I look like something out of playboy!!! And why just me…I said all of us!!!!

Ragatha; you do look cute to be honest though Pomni. I think caines on to something.

Caine: thank you Rag-

Pomni: SHUT IT DENTURES and change me back before anyone else see’s. I feel naked and my butt feels flossed!

Caine: urm… sorry Pomni but like the challenges I can’t do that until the task is completed and- why are you looking at me like that?

Pomni:...IM GONNA F*****G K**L YOU CAINE!!!

Ragatha: RUN CAINE!!!