#but you need to tell the parents idk idk
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#i‘m gonna be so fucking mad if she turns up at work on Wednesday all happy and chill#and she actually wasn’t bothered by any of the stuff today#like obviously i think i should have been clearer#but omg you cannot make a ruckus like that and then promise not to tell the parents fuck#either you are worried about suicidal intentions or your not#but you need to tell the parents idk idk#i should have demanded it at the beginning now i feel bad and stupid#this was so stressful#i wish i was a crier i need a good cry#i know she‘s new but sometimes she‘s so new and i cannot handle that
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what i will always, alwaysss hate about the crowfeather discourse is how it got several people, even some people who i thought would know better than to spread such harmful rhetoric, to get up on their soapbox and say with their whole chest "child neglect is not abusive, breezepelt should get the fuck over it"
#ignoring how crow wasnt just neglectful here ofc. and how people defend his physical abuse too#but even this just really pisses me off like jesus christ what a disgusting thing to tell your young influential audience#''your parents are ignoring your emotional and physical needs? well stop being a fucking baby and get over it. its not THAT bad''#and even if thats not what they said exactly. what do you think neglect victims were actually hearing? be for real#idk what it is abt crows boring fucking ass that makes people fawn over him so hard theyre willing to demean abuse victims#this is the real reason i hate this character. like ig its unfair to have that fanon influence but good god now he just pisses me off
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some more aa wof au stuff for cringetober day 3 (fandom au!!). ive been messing with my apollo for this au for way too long trying to come up with a design i liked so uh!! his design might change in the future if i end up doing more with this au idk.
bonus: young thalassa
#the first trucy note is shortened btw#the original note was 'is she a hybrid? is she albino? is she just weird? its not like im ever going to draw zak!'#anyways apollo doesnt realize he has nightwing abilities#does he even know hes half nightwing? he might have suspicions but its not like he knows his parents#anyways he probably thinks his bracelet is animus touched and thats how he has those abilities#<- (can you tell it was originally animus touched before i changed my mind on that. can you.)#i have a lot of thoughts about this au i need to do more with it#anyways they both take after their mom a lot i think. that was only semi intentional#i think when i was designing thalassa originally i wanted her to look like how i wanted to do apollo?#idk this thalassa design is actually pretty old#if youve been following me long enough to have seen the drawing shes from when it dropped uh. im sorry bgfrdbg#au#doodles#wings of fire#ace attorney#apollo justice#trucy wright#thalassa gramarye#nightwing#skywing#cringetober#cringetober 2024
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The Therapist
There's a new therapist at school.
Normally this wouldn't really bother Peter at all, since he's never gone to see a shrink in his life and doesn't ever plan on it, but there's something... off about this woman.
She seems unassuming enough at first glance. Red hair, green eyes, bright red lipstick. But there is something in her eyes, something that Peter can only describe as a predator looking at its next prey, when she looks around the school at all of the teenagers milling about. Heck, even the way she walks makes her seem as if she is a predator stalking her prey.
It could always be some kind of power move, Peter reasons. He's met people like that before, who try to intimidate everyone around them into thinking that they are superior, that they are the apex predator and anyone who dares to cross them would pay for it dearly.
But his Spidey Sense went crazy around her.
He tries to brush it off as paranoia. He'd pulled an all-nighter last night in the lab with Tony because neither of them had been able to sleep, and he hadn't been sleeping well even before that. (Funny, how it had all started the night after he first bumped into the new therapist in the halls.) So his Spidey Sense is probably out of wack because he's tired. Simple as that.
But it seems like everyone in the school is depressed. Even Ned, who can't even muster up the energy and enthusiasm to talk about Legos or Star Wars or even the weather. It worries Peter.
Because it all started when that therapist came to the school.
He can't ignore it forever, he knows that. There is only so long his Spidey Sense can tell him that she is danger danger danger before he finally listens. He has to do something to help everyone.
So he researches.
And he falls into the rabbit hole of ghosts and ectoplasm and secret government organizations and the little, unassuming town of Amity Park, Illinois.
He doesn't sleep that night.
When he comes to school the next morning, Dr. Penelope Spectra looks him dead in the eyes, and smiles.
#dpxmarvel#peter parker#penelope spectra#peter's boutta get a crash course in ghosts and ghost fighting#he is definitely not prepared#idk why spectra is in new york#specifically midtown tech#but she is#peter starts digging into amity park#he just wanted to find out who spectra is#and he did find out that she's a dangerous “ecto-entity”#he does not know what that is until he does more research#he's very shocked to learn that ghosts are apparently real#meanwhile tucker and the rest of team phantom is freaking out#someone just hacked past the media blackout or whatever around amity park#(you can thank friday (or karen if you prefer) for that)#they're surprised to see that it's coming all the way from new york#and even more surprised to see that the hacker went for spectra's files first#almost as if the hacker was specifically looking for them >:3#maybe danny goes to investigate and finds peter#btw peter can sense ghosts with his spidey sense even if they're invisible. especially if they're invisible#they team up to take spectra down#danny helps peter make some ecto-weapons and a specter deflector or something#then they catch spectra (and bernard because he's probably there too and i'm kinda just now realizing that)#peter gives danny his phone number as thanks and tells him to call him if he ever needs anything#peter doesn't know who phantom is btw. he just knows that his new friend is a ghost that luckily knows how to use technology like phones#maybe there's even a bad reveal a little further down the line and danny calls peter in a panic because sam and tucker have done everything#they can and he needs to get as far away from amity as possible#peter is very surprised to find that his ghost friend is only half ghost and is then very ticked that danny's parents tried to capture#and vivisect him
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Is it easy to hide from friends, roommates or family that you intentionally eat more and therefore buy a lot more food?
this is SUCH a good question!!! it is not easy at all :(( my friends don’t mind because i���ve been a glutton like this for a decade, but roommates are a whole different matter. i will admit my food takes up most of the freezer and fridge 😭 i’ve talked to them though and they know that if there are any issues concerning it, they can talk to me and we’ll figure it out :)) i also share a lot of my food so it’s not too much of an issue
my family though agsksjshs. they’re the difficult ones… obviously any food i take is going to be noticed by them, so when i’m visiting i try to cut back on what needs to be refrigerated / frozen
this holiday season, however, i’m trying a strategy called “eating so much there’s nothing to hide”
#ALSO roommate we thought was taking stuff denied it so idk what’s up#idk what’s up with that but if stuff continues to be taken we’ll see#my family will straight up tell me to stop eating#like it’ll be late and my parents will be like ‘you don’t need that’#when i DO#however. having a car is very nice#im planning for fast food trips very often for the next few weeks :3#ask
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Saw some of the grossest parenting today in the bus
#this dad was on his phone the whole bus ride ok#and his two kids were screaming arguing#at most he would periodically tell them to lower their voice while still on his phone#one time he told them to stop the one sitting next to him hit him 😭 and he went back to look at his phone with no reaction#my guy something is seriously wrong with you#your kids are screaming at each other doesn't even matter all that much that we are in the bus rn#theyre not just being loud kids you need to do smt!!!!!! its too early for this!!! i could hear them even with my noise cancelling headphone#anyways#ive never seen smt like this#and i work in a mall i see lots of parents and kids#idk smt really disgusting about a parent just not even interested in engaging with their kids#dude no wonder they're loud they probably want ur attention#also this one lady once who came in wjth a big stroller#and the store where i work has little moving rooms between the aisle so this woman decided TO LEAVE THE STROLLER WITH A KID INSIDE AT THE#FRONT OF THE STORE#the kids started crying and his hrother (toddler not in the stroller but not following the mom for some reason) started exploring and i#i had to watch them until the mom came back but like the woman just left them there???#i just stepped in but what if i hadnt??? lady?????????#i see lots of cute interactions of course#like this little girl who came with who i think is her grandpa and he asked me to help her chose her next manga read 😭💖#i basically work in a book/toy store#theres a lot of candy as well the kids love it#idk i like seeing kids being happy ok it is healing#like all the kids sitting on the floors deep in their books while the parents shop 😭😭😭 makes me smile every time top tier behavior
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Not only have several of my former classmates gotten married, just found out that now one is having a kid?? 😭😭 just reiterating: i cant believe some people my age are doing that dklsldls. Where do they find time to work/study AND develop intricate crown prince rudolf headcanons once they do that
#married people and parents still have hobbies yadda yadda. you dont need to tell me that kslsld its a joke#its interesting how strong an emotional reaction of Otherness i have to these types of news dkkdld. like its always 'good for them but i#dont think i could ever want this'#i mean im not opposed to gay marriage in my future depending on how life plays out but i would not want to do it to 'settle down' i think#dont necessarily want a big house a garden a golden retriever or a car 😭#and def no kids#i guess its partly a reaction to kind of.... idk at a younger age more people are more 'restless' like me and then many change their minds#so its invalidating to be 'left alone' when you used to have allies who could relate to your life choices/wishes haha#i think being gay complicates this... i used to think it was a blessing for making it less of an expectation but actually turns out soooo#many girls on dating apps and online have or really want kids 😭 and i'm just like. good for you but this doesnt work for me#ugh anyway yeah. you guys better still be following me for rudolf posting when i'm 45 with a mortgage and an evil day job x#xD#you can take time off from your spouse and kids to log onto tumblr com and look at this shit 🥰🥰 for md ☺️#me*
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it is literally not about legality, if you’re in your late 30s literally what are you hitting up 21 y/os for. Don’t you have investments to make.
#Astonishing number of people will jump on the ‘but it’s technically legal!’ defence#But will not answer my question of whyyyyyy. If your date sounds like PTA night and you need to parent your girlfriend#you have an age gap! And! You are the lamest loser on earth; that is fact; hope this helps!!#(Okay. Lowkey? I shouldn’t be thinking about this STILL. Given it’s been like a MONTH since#But I feel a lil let down and betrayed and I think I’m still kinda processing that… but I#I confided in my bestestest friend that an older man was creeping on me. And I expected her to have my back 100%#And idk— I think she’s just had worse experiences with men and has a higher tolerance to bad behaviour than I an asexual person do#But her response was along the lines of ‘you’re an adult; there’s no problem with it really;#can’t blame him for shooting his shot; it’s not really a weird age gap’#And worst of all— ‘maybe he just has an age kink; maybe he gets off on you being younger’#I have to say. I don’t care. The point is that I discouraged it several times and was getting increasingly uncomfortable with it#I feel like in that situation the thing to do is side with me especially when I’m telling you all this.#And like. Sigh i don’t know. I still love her with all my heart but it’s feeling a lil awkward rn#I’m still thinking about that and obviously I don’t want it to ruin the best friendship I’ve ever had#But it’s feeling a little forced right now. I expected her to have my back and for some reason her brushing this aside did make me#Feel completely invalidated and like I should just stop feeling weirded out and man up and discourage this man in words—#When the thing is there was NEVER any hint of interest. I don’t feel like I should have to dignify his behaviour in terms of interest or#Attraction. Because! I just don’t think you should be that forward with strangers repeatedly!! and if I think that’s weird then I’m sorry i#It won’t work with me! I don’t like it! I think that’s grounds enough to stop oh my god.#I’ll be seeing my bestie in a couple of weeks. Flying all the way out to England for her. I don’t want this to be awkward…#but something in me is just a lil heartbroken. Like I feel the girlcode was broken. We’ve always told each other#Not to let men affect our self worth or alter our boundaries. I feel like that was violated.#(ik she said that bc her bf at the time was 30 but like. Listen to my individual situation no? This one wasn’t about you I came for advice)#Rant
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Trying not to be annoyed by twitter discourse right now
#basically an indigenous trans woman chose the name saeko and it caused a site wide dogpile onto her#amd discourse about white trans people choosing japanese names because people assumed she was white#like idk what to tell you but there are plenty of white cis ppl who have japanese names#because their parents are real into anime or something#there's no need to act like this is a trans thing in particular#feels espec fake when twitter was celebrating kurt cobain's daughter and tony hawk's son having a kid called ronin#just two weeks ago#anyway#yapping#📨
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IM LIKE IF A BOY WAS A MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL WAS A SCENE FAG
#SCENE ART#FUNKY COOL ART#T SLUR TW#F SLUR TW#CONTEXT: MY MOM CALLED ME A TRANNY AND A FAGGOT DURING AN ARGUEMENT WITH ME AND HER AND MY DAD#IT DOESNT REALLY BOTHER ME ANYMORE THEYRE DUMB AND CONFUSED AND THEY ONLY LISTEN TO FOX NEWS ABOUT ANYTHING EVER#AND THEY THINK MY BABY FOOD MADE ME AUTISTIC#SO THEIR OPINION ON MY IDENTITY IS STUPID AND WRONG#ANYWAYS I WAS KINDA PISSY ABOUT IT SO I MADE SOMETHING KINDA EZ TO FEEL BETTER AND GET BACK INTO THE SWING OF DOING DIGITAL ART#CUZ IM STILL GETTING USED 2 MY NEW TABLET!!!!!!!!! SIMILAR MODEL SO ITS NO BIGGIE BUT STILL#ANYWAYS IF U COULDNT TELL IM IN A BIG CAPSLOCK MOOD TODAY 4 WHATEVR REASON LAWLZ#ANYWAYS ANYWAYS YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POSITIVE VENT THING IF U WANNA CALL IT THAT#IM NOT SAD ANYMORE CUZ I HAVE FRIENDS AND THEY THINK IM COOL!!!!!!!! AND I THINK IM COOL TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I FINALLY LOVE MYSELF AND ITS SO POGGERS IT WAS SO WORTH IT#AS IN EVERYTHING WAS!!!!!!#AND THIS IS VERY VAGUE BUT THATS FINE CUZ I DONT REALLY WANT ANYONE ON HERE 2 UNDERSTAND LOLZ. OR AT LEAST ALL THE RANDOS FOLLOWING ME#ILY ALL IDK WHO U R THO XD AND U DONT HAVE 2 KNOW MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE STORY#BUT I DO WANT IT TO BE KNOWN SOMEWHERE THAT IM VERY HAPPY AND EXCITED TO BE ALIVE DESPITE EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENED#AS IN EVERYTHING YOU ALL DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT#AND I FINALLY LOVE MYSELF AS MUCH AS I LOVE EVERYONE ELSE EVER EVEN MY DUMBFUCK PARENTS!!!!!!!!!#IM SO HAPPY IM ALIVE IM SO HAPPY UR ALIVE TOO :) EVEN IF I DONT KNOW WHO U R (IDK WHO IS AND ISNT READING THIS)#SO I HOPE UR ALL HAPPY WITH URSELVES 2 AND IF UR NOT I HOPE U CAN BE ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND SPEAKING OF DAYS (AS IN 12AM FOR ME AS OF TYPING THIS) I HOPE U HAVE A GOOD 1 TODAY >:D <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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~
#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
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uncle nina if ravesey were broken up for over a month, does that mean that jerseykyle couldn't take care of ravenstan on his period like he has every month? 🥺💔
OOOOOOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!
WHOEVER SENT ME THIS:
COUNT.
YOUR.
DAYS!!!!!
#oh my god i am going to start screaming#don't do this#don't do this but also ur right i am so MISERABLE#u know the alarm on his phone went off and everything#screaming crying and throwing up#i'm crying i bet u desperate jersey was like marj listen#*waves cvs bag* i need u to take these w/ you to the cd house#and drop them near stans door for me#Dont Tell Him Its From Me i just...Please? It's Important ;-; </3#anyways not sneaky he left the receipt in the bag by accident#or idk marj trying to roomate-parent trap them left it#pls note: ravenstan in his comfy kyle sweats chasing his ibuprofen with some gatorade hugging his knees to his chest#reading kyle's name printed on the receipt over and over :(#anyways...uhhhhh COUNT YOUR DAYS#WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BABY#WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING SO CONTREVERSIAL AND SO FUCKING TRUE THAT IS EVIL#oh my god how do i even GO ON
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#I'm genuinely just so fucking angry at the abuse i went through and still am#Idk tbh if you described it as anything else you'd be lying#It's fucking 3.38am and I'm just so fucking pissed off#Idk man it's not that fucking hard to be decent normal parents and not tell them to at worst sometimes tell them to kill themselves#Tw vent#Vent#I just idk#I'm so fucking angry#I have no idea how i survived but like#I need to talk to a fucking therapist at some point#Idk man this shit was never okay#I'm so tired of having to basically fight for my life and future#And waiting fucking decades for freedom and a normal life#Just a normal fucking life#That's all I wanted how fucking hard could it be????
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2024 reads / storygraph
Stuck In Her Head
short contemporary YA coming-of-age set in Hong Kong, following two teen girls who are friends
one is a musical prodigy but has lost her passion and wants to explore different possibilities for her future
the other is passionate about music but dealing with mental health & family issues
the latter develops a crush on the former, who is aroace, and they have to re-navigate their friendship, while working on a music/coding competition project together and dealing with their own issues
#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#stuck in her head#Hm this had a lot of aspects I found interesting but didn’t quite live up to what I wanted it to be#I definitely love reading YA set not in the west - this is set in Hong Kong - and I liked that a lot!#And of course we always need more YA about friendships rather than being romance focused (though this has an unrequited aspect of that)#This is written by 17yos which is cool! though it does show in the prose a bit. There’s a lot of ‘the girl’ ‘the teen’ instead of their nam#Or like informing the reader of info in slightly awkward ways - one visits the other’s house and says “is this the first time I’ve been to#- I feel like there are better ways to tell the reader this. Like that’s not something you wouldn’t be sure about right?#This made it feel like their friendship was quite tentative - school friends who’ve known each other for years but only really#started hanging out properly recently - but the text says they’ve been inseparable for years.#It definitely tackles a lot of things from burnout and perfectionism; losing passion for your talents; parents divorcing; depression#I just think some could have been handled with a bit more depth/nuance; with more space and introspection given to them#especially their main conflict about one having a crush on the aroace and then she pretends to reciprocate bc the other is suicidal and the#the other finds out and gets mad and it's......weirdly drawn out but also barely explored in depth also? idk#definitely anticipated it to be a bit like this because it's written by such young authors it's expected that they're still perfecting thei#I think teens who prefer shorter books & are looking for this sort of thing would still enjoy it for sure. I'll def look out for future boo#bisexual books#aroace books
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aroace joy vs aroace loneliness fight
#im saying that as someone who IS aroace if this ends up in discourse territory somehow#sometimes i think it's some form of internalized arophobia and it probably is a little at least#but i just feel so wrong and lonely thinking about the future#because i love the idea of being in love (as one can tell) but i just don't love people like that#and aside from any other self worth and confidence issues involved in obtaining a partner it just seems unfair to them you know#that id never be able to love them in that way#before anyone says qpr i am WELL AWARE!!! but then we go back to the Other Issues#besides its so easy to find other aros online but irl nobody really understands#so its kinda hopeless#ive always wanted to get married and have kids of my own !!! like genuinely i love the idea of it#but i doubt id ever find someone who would like#want to be a secret 3rd thing with me and get platonically married and raise kids or smth#and then theres the whole thing about me probably not being a good parent or being able to even afford to have kids so like. GRGRRARARSRR#cant win#ive accepted the fact im gonna be alone but it doesn't make it any happier. it feels like theres something wrong with me you know#but on the other hand i love being aroace its such an integral part me??#and it makes me so happy to be apart of the community and to know its okay#that there are people who understand the Lack#and even in the specific ways i do!!!#so its like so. aughhghhghh#saying this feels like a betrayal because i know theres nothing wrong with not#finding love. i heavily criticize the idea that people need love in their life to be fulfilled.#i feel like im wrong on both ends. to want it AND not feel it#personal posts and stuff idk#cw vent#aethers rants#sorry to be a party pooper i think its getting a bit cloudy and its getting to me
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