#but yes they start out hating each other
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in the darkest night, guiding stars
Some rambling about Tailmon's and Caedemon's complicated relationship in Aurora below~
Tailmon and Caedemon are two of some of the oldest Digimon aligned with both their own and mankind in Aurora, and their relationship goes far back to the very genesis of the Digital World.
As Huanglongmon's creations and members of the Archangels, both of them served them and the four Great Beasts as guardians of their world, alongside the other eight of their kind. For thousands of years, they were the guiding light for all the other Digimon to look up to, until Lucemon's betrayal, and the other six Archangels siding with him. Having discovered what would later become known as the Dark Area - an eldritch, mysterious and volatile dimension existing apart from the Digital and human worlds, yet intertwined with them - he chose to keep it secret, and, in time, his own desires, made worse by the influence of the Area, made him turn against his world and creators. The six others that succumbed to it all the same chose to follow their leader, and nearly laid waste to the Digital World by breaching the dimensional walls and unleashing the Area upon it, but were ultimately stopped by the remaining three Archangels, the world's inhabitants, and Huanglongmon's ultimate sacrifice to seal the Dark Area away, along with the traitors.
Ophanimon perished in those battles, but was reborn in the far future, though without memories of her past.
It was the actions of mankind that called her to action once more, and what awakened Caedemon from his eternal slumber deep within the Dark Area. It was when humans, upon discovering its existence, breached it in an attempt to take control of its powers and Caedemon himself - and sealed the fate of both worlds.
Caedemon, like his brethren, was never meant to be awakened, and Tailmon was mortified upon eventually figuring out the identity of the decaying beast. In her eyes, rightfully, not only was he a traitor, but also even alone a serious danger to both worlds, having become part of the Dark Area itself, but he was also absolutely not fit to be a Tamer's Digimon, especially to a child.
Caedemon initially also did little to soothe her concerns, even with her disdain and suspicions for him obvious, as he exhibited a selfish, troubled and nihilistic personality, caring little for their own kind, and consistently questioning whether or not humanity is even worth saving, with all they've learned about it - a big contrast to her more optimistic outlook on things, a love for all living beings, and a desire to seek out good in everyone, even to the detriment of herself and others.
Though they do eventually mend their once broken friendship, it takes a long time for things to get better, and a lot of change ( namely for Caedemon ) for them to find a way to complement each other in working together - two beings plucked from past long gone - to guide both worlds into a better future.
#I just wanted to say words#all of this is extremely vague LOL#there's so much more to explain about the Dark Area ALONE in this setting not to mention what happens with humans interfering with it#or the full history of the Digital World and what happened and what it's like now#Or how humanity came in contact with Digimon initially#I'm gonna eventually detail things more when I have time to actually work on this and illustrate stuff proper#I haven't even shown any of the human characters' redesigns yet rip#but yes they start out hating each other#very rightfully so for Tailmon#because Caedemon is a fucking asshole initially#and very vague about whether he wants to just destroy everyone or not LOL#she was also the one who defeated him initially when they tried to fuck over the Digital World lmao#ironically their Tamers become best friends very quickly#digimon#my art#my doodles#digimon project: Aurora#Tailmon#Caedemon#Gatomon#demon#Impmon#monster
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⋆✴︎˚。⋆ WIP WEDNESDAY ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
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There was something…off about Lucifer.
Something that wasn’t adding up.
Alastor watched him from a distance. At first it was to get a better read of him, and how long he intended to stay, but the as the days ticked on, an unsettling feeling of wrongness grew in the pit of Alastor's stomach.
It’s the mixer that set off the first alarm.
Lucifer followed through with his promise to get Charlie a meeting with Heaven—now scheduled a few days from then—and he and Charlie were in the kitchen cooking up a celebratory meal.
Alastor hid in the shadows, watching the two bubbling personalities with growing boredom.
“Oh, wow, it’s been a while since I’ve been in here,” Lucifer said, wandering around the kitchen as Charlie pulled appliances out of cupboards and ingredients out of the pantry.
“Yeah, Vaggie and I rearranged a lot of the hotel. To make it new and refreshing, you know?”
Lucifer nodded, as if he understood exactly what she meant. “Well, you’ll have to show me where everything is, I guess,” he laughed, opening a few cupboards. “Because I have no idea where that blasted mixer is. I could’ve sworn it was in here.”
“I’ll grab it, let me just—oh, hold on,” she pulled her phone from her back pocket as it started ringing. “It’s Vaggie. She’s out running errands. Do you mind if I?” She gestured to the door.
“Oh, go right ahead. I’ll get everything ready in here.”
“Thanks, dad.”
She left and Alastor was prepared to follow her example, as there was hardly anything worth watching in the kitchen, but paused when Lucifer let out a deep, happy sigh and turned, walked to a cupboard across the room, and pulled out the mixer.
Alastor frowned.
But it could’ve just been a lucky guessed, he reasoned as Lucifer plugged the appliance into the wall, humming a jaunty circus tune to himself. But then Lucifer opened a drawer close by, grabbed a wire whisk, then hopped a few shelves over for a mixing bowl. The squirm in Alastor’s gut tightened.
For someone who hadn’t been there in centuries, he sure knew his way around.
Still, that wasn’t too strange. Lucifer was an immortal being. A few centuries was probably little more than a week for him. Who could say how his memory matched?
Except…
Didn’t Charlie say she and Vaggie rearranged everything?
His magic, Alastor decided. Divine powers of an angel, and all of that. Surely that would cover finding basic kitchenware.
But even that explanation felt a bit…off.
Something about it wasn’t right.
It was Lucifer’s confidence. The way he strode from cupboard to cupboard without a lick of hesitation or a hint of doubt. No fumbling, no second guessing, no pulling out the wrong drawer, even on accident.
Still hidden, Alastor inched closer, to get a better look.
That’s when Lucifer turned his head and looked at him.
For a split-second, when those red slitted eyes met his, Alastor thought he’d accidentally stepped out of the shadows, because all of the sudden, Lucifer's smile was gone, his humming dropped, and the cadence around him became tangibly colder. Alastor checked himself but, no, he was still hidden. Still covered in shadows in the corner of the kitchen, where the lights weren’t far enough to give away his hiding spot.
But Lucifer didn’t look away. He wasn’t moving. Wasn’t blinking. It didn’t even look like he was breathing.
There weren’t many things in Hell that unsettled Alastor anymore. He’d encountered demons without eyelids, ones who seemed to disappeared when they stopped moving, plenty who didn’t need to breath or eat for days on end.
Lucifer was hardly the strangest, or scariest, thing he’s seen, and yet…
He slowly cocked his head and took a step around the counter. Alastor’s heart jumped. Lucifer still hadn't broken eye contact. He walked slowly, not like he was scared or nervous, but careful and quiet, like a predator stalking through bushes. Trying not to startle its victim.
Alastor figured he may as well step out of the shadows, seeing how his presence was obviously known. Or he could simply leave. Just meld into the darkness and return to the parlor to see if anything interesting was going on at the bar.
But he couldn’t, for the life of him, move.
His body refused to. His lungs held his breath captive in his chest. His heart thumped harder with growing unease.
Deep in the recesses of his mind, a small, intrinsic voice told him to stay still. To keep eye contact. So certain that if the moved, if he took his eyes off of Lucifer for one second, he wouldn’t be fast enough to see him a second time. Before it was too late.
The closer he got, the louder that voice became, until Alastor didn’t feel like he was controlling the shadows so much as the shadows were holding him in place. He was trapped, completely and utterly, and he could. Not. Look. Away.
Lucifer was only a few feet away when the doors flung open and Charlie bounded inside, hauling a load of groceries with Vaggie close behind. His change was immediate.
The air warmed, his dark demeanor disappeared and a wide, happy smile lit up his face. He whirled around. “Char-Char, welcome back! I think I found just about everything.”
“Oh, wow, you did,” Charlie said, looking over the counter. “It wasn’t too much of a hassle, was it?”
“Ah, not at all, kiddo. I found may way around. Ready to get started?”
“Yes! Here, Vaggie got the rest of the things we needed.”
Lucifer walked to her with a pep in his step, but as he rounded the counter, he looked at Alastor again, face impassive and cold, and suddenly Alastor was being thrust away. He stumbled out of the shadows on the third floor, knocking into a hall table that nearly took him off his feet. He clutched it, barely keeping himself from hitting the floor.
He stared at the wall, stunned.
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I've mentioned that I've wanted to write a dark!Lucifer fic and I got an Anon a while back asking how I would go about writing that.
Well, here's a little piece.
#dark radioapple but make LUCIFER the dark and scary one#make him the creepy one that makes you feel unsettled down to your core#make him the scary possessive one that you look at and go 'whoa buddy maybe we should calm down a little'#and yes I know I just wrote about Lucifer mentally drop kicking ALastor out of the shadows#but you have to understand#all my radioapple stuff starts out with them hating each other#i've yet to find a way to write them already crushing on each other without doing the build-up first#sorry i guess im biologically programmed to only write slow burns#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#the radio demon#lucifer morningstar#appleradio#radioapple#lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin lucifer#alastor x lucifer#lucifer magne#the big bad boss of hell itself#wip wednesday#my writing#fanfic#my fanfiction#allastoredrabble
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Every time I see someone earnestly say that Carver hates Hawke, I have to exercise such restraint to not scream.
Every day I get closer to writing a deep dive about him because that's my guy. He's so interesting. He feels so much. He tries so hard when talking to the other companions and some of the dynamics he has with them are so good. He can be so fucking funny and sweet and awkward. He so badly wants to be wanted and appreciated and to protect everyone he loves.
Carver Hawke, they could never make me hate you.
#da2#carver hawke#i may have stumbled across someone complaining about how mean carver is to hawke and the companions and i just... huh??#whattya mean?? first of all if you're upset about companions being jerks to each other then boy do i have bad news for you#about the other companions--if you want 'mean' then put anders merrill and fenris in a party together#hell if you wanna see 'mean' then look through aveline's companion dialogue--she straight up calls merrill stupid to her face#and secondly carver is not MEAN... the only companion he's hostile toward is anders and that makes sense#and don't get me started on carver and hawke he does NOT hate hawke even if he's a templar and at full rivalry#hawke can be the worst piece of shit to him. max out his rivalry. leave him behind where he becomes a templar.#just say the worst shit to him and he will never betray you. he will never agree to kill hawke for meredith. ever.#but reminder that a warrior/rogue hawke has an option to let circle bethany die when siding with the templars#JUST SAYING#one day y'all.... one day i'm gonna write it and then what? WHAT THEN??#also yes... I'm replaying da2 now. i'm still in act 1 so i have hawke siblings on the brain so...#apologies in advance for not shutting up about them
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y'all ever think abt how it was julie having the affair and it is even said multiple times that she was the one who left him, yet wilson was still the one who left their home and moved in with house. like. he couldn't bear to stay in their home alone. he immediately ran to house and stayed on his couch for weeks. suffered through his pranks and his laziness and his manipulation. telling him he wants him gone while sabotaging his attempts to leave. and he only left once he got a girlfriend again.
#chyanne speaks#house md#hilson#hate crimes md#gregory house#james wilson#i think his inability to be alone is such an interesting quality of his that isnt touched on enough#like yes we all haha at his long string of unsuccessful relationships but we dont talk abt it all stemming from his inability to be alone#his first wife leaves him and then he remarried quickly#he cheats on the second wife and remarries quickly#the third wife cheats on him and leaves him and he immediately moves in with house#and then starts dating a patient and immediately moves in with her#but!!! then he moves into the hotel and is alone for like almost a year! and honestly he NEEDED IT#bc GROWTH happened in that year and he meets someone who doesn't fit his M.O. who breaks away from the mold#although he does immediately move in with her too but still. amber was different. she was the step in the right direction#and then she dies.#and then wilson throws himself into the left field. everything needs to change. he's spent so long fearing being alone.#so he tries to leave so he is completely and totally alone without house to fall back on#but house needs him. he needs him too much. they need each other too much.#and he falls back to house again. and he's content that way. he's always the most content when he's with house. always feels the least alone#and then sam comes back into his life and ruins e v e r y t h i n g#he falls right back onto those old patterns. kicks house out and moves her in. and then what happens??? of course??? she leaves him. again.#and then he's alone again and it hurts. he gets a cat that we only hear about twice and then never gets brought up again#but wilson has his kitty. he has house. he's not alone. he can be content.#and then house fucks everything up. he goes to prison. wilson is alone again.#im honestly SHOCKED that wilson didnt remarry in that year they were apart but he was rly trying to change!#he was working on himself and trying to make changed he thought would be good for him#and then house comes back. and house won't LET wilson be alone. he wont leave him alone.#and it's exactly what wilson has been yearning for since the day he drove that car into cuddys house#and in the end. as long as he had house that was all that mattered. as long as he had house he wasn't alone.
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It's so interesting to think that Henry technically lived for William.
(even if it's to kill him)
And the reason is that he had nothing left. The only thing that kept him there breathing and living is William. The guy who started it all, the guy who was once his partner, coworker and best friend, the guy who destroyed his life irreparably, the guy who killed innocent children and the guy who until then never died... I truly believe that If he didn't learn about the ''paranormal'' he would probably end up like TSE! Henry.
I suppose that William was missing and no one had heard from him because he had died, but Henry still believed that William was somewhere, It's been 30 years and he still trusted his instinct that it was still necessary to look for him or be alive to stop William from doing something stupid.
He was just waiting, just like Michael (but Michael is a living dead man), wanting for some sign of 'life' that William was back. And when he showed up, Henry simply put the plan into action.
My point is...
HOLY SHIT. These two are crazy, insane and I'm almost this 🤏 to say that they deserve each other but I won't go out of respect for Henry. Imagine living more than 30 years of your miserable life to hunt down someone you don't even know is alive so you can end all this shit and finally kill yourself in the process.
In The Silver Eyes, it is mentioned that William has personal diaries about Henry that ranges from jealousy to near-worship AND I assume it's canon that William is in fact the same way in canon (If not, Charlie's death would have no motivation at all)
The research and quest for immortality that William was after comes from his obsessive envy of Henry and his desire to create something for himself, and he technically died because of it.
And Henry spent years and years chasing William to kill him once and for all, he literally lived for William.
He lived all this time just to kill William.
Henry lived for William.
William lived a good part of his life solely to satisfy his obsessive envy of Henry. He KILLED because of it and then they killed him because of that.
One died because of his obsession.
And the other lived by his obsession.
#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf 6#fnaf 6 pizza simulator#fnaf 3#fnaf silver eyes#william afton#henry emily#willry#helliam#they make me sick#They are such the trope of divorced ex-couple who have come to hate each other and want to kill each other#they started to hate each other so much that one hatred canceled out the other and became love#I don't know what I'm talking about anymore#And yes two posts about them in less then a day
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sas rh: let eoin survive the fall au » the astronomer philosopher, the earth and the moon
#sas rogue heroes#sasrh:canonau#augustin jordan#eoin mcgonigal#paddy mayne#although it is true paddy orbits eoin like the moon does the earth (moreso after the first jump)#and that everyone knows theyre basically attached at the hip (however you wish to interpret that)#it is *also* true the more the sas wins and advances the more david is requesting paddys presence for important matters#(and *yes* david's quite sure LT mcgonigal can handle waiting outside the tent on his own paddy hes a big boy alright now get in there)#HOWEVER#paddy starts noticing that ACTUALLY eoin is not waiting on his own so much cause theres another fucking lieutenant#who keeps orbiting around almost like moth to flame#and its weird but its no big deal at first - eoin is a social guy anyways so it makes sense even if this ones french ?#(plus paddy keeps his one on one time so no notes there)#BUT#suddenly they're sharing looks and smiles and sort of digs at each other and paddy knows damn well the way eoin is teasing#and apparently frenchie goes along with it adding his own brand of *something* and what the fuck#and then it seems like they have almost inside jokes and sometimes paddy gets out of his stupid briefing#and jordan is walking away all too pleased and eoin is all to calm smiling up at him like he didn't just maybe spent an hour#talking to a fucking french of all people. THIS ONE french of all people.#but then eoin is very good at distracting him and hoarding his attention away from other things#especially when he grabs his arm to drag him to the piano#(and in truth what nags at paddys brain is that he doesn't *hate* this necessarily ?? even if the knowledge picks at his brain)#(it... gets his attention it makes him think and wonder and he gets a little grumpy sure cause thats his eoin BUT#he doesn't hate it necessarily. and *that* should be a problem or something)#anyways back with my all have two hands agenda !!! look how cute they look together !!!
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a little drabble I made back in late october inspired by my what if, there's many like this where it's just inserting tommy into existing scenes of the show, here goes 1x01:
“I promise you, the next time you screw up, it’ll be your last”
Those were the last words Sergeant Grant spoke to Buck before leaving the premise.
Hen, Bobby, Buck and Tommy were all quiet until the latter said something that made Buckley’s eyes roll to the back of his head.
“And let’s hope you do it again”
It was usual for Kinard and Buckley to get into each others nerves, and this moment was no exception to it. Tommy knew what to do to push Buck’s buttons, and right now he patted him on the back and left to the truck chuckling, receiving an immediate answer from Buckley.
“Not funny Thomas… What?” his eyes went towards Bobby, who was looking at him like he was a kid who’d just done the stupidest thing in the world.
#they hate each other your honor (until they don't)#it's easier than you think to insert tommy in the show pre season 7#and yes they call each other evan and thomas out of spite!#but buck started to like it#911 what if#911 fic#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#tagging the rest cause they're in the scene too#athena grant#bobby nash#hen wilson
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Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Dexter Favin#Coraline#The Beldam#The other side of this coin <3 Call him out but this time make it unfriendly hehe#I talked last time about the daring rescue!! I do love the daring rescue in Coraline AUs ah same thing with the Camp Camp Coraline AU haha#Burst in through the door! Those poor hinges!#It is a bit funny imagining him crawling through the tunnel in a hurry and kicking the doors open all winded haha <3#It's all very serious of course Max needs help! Stuck behind the mirror from disobeying perhaps?#I was pretty hard on him last time that he'd just Immediately give up his soul for cheap tricks but like - would he?#Yes he's reckless and foolish but he's also stubborn and prideful and hates being told what to do so there's that lol#Which does he want more! The high or his freedom to refuse? I could see it going either way#And for Dex's sake I would hope he'd refuse! As if he hasn't suffered enough eye trauma (eventually)#Ough the thought of him starting to say yes and getting one button eye in and then rescinding his yes ouch#Doomed to have one eye no matter where he goes ah 💔#Anyway - Dex!!! Watch I'll make another one with the ideas mentioned here and then talk about more ideas in those tags pft#Since agreeing with him didn't work how about shaming? ''Go away you're no better''#She really is going hard on him like ''What's your angle? You get him back and then what? Will that actually fix anything?''#Very much pulling from Dexter's meetings with Max at the Institute there hhhhhh as if I needed more feelings about it#Eco_Mono did such a beautiful job playing Dex - so much to consider hehe - but there was one question that I can't stop thinking about#''Why would you want him back?'' and Dexter didn't really have much of an answer - he was barely more than a concept at the time!#Having had the opportunity to see his character grow into himself has given me Such brainworms about that question ♥♪♫#Very want to explore it <3#In the meanwhile it's fun to pit these two against each other haha what an odd matchup ♪#I've only barely drawn the Beldam before now that I think of it! And I think only in her final metal-spidery form never in her mid form here#She's fun :D And so tall! Dexter finally feeling small for a change haha#Her having to fight adult selfishness would be quite interesting I think - something tinged with but not quite the same as loyalty#She can relate to the possessiveness at least hehe I'm sure he'd appreciate the comparison
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just an fyi, and it feels like it needs to be said here: your blog is your own space and you should be able to say whatever the fuck you want. if you’re sad? vent. get sad. maybe put it under a cut, definitely tag it, but get sad. if you feel like you need someone to talk to? drop a freaking message about how you’re feeling like you could use a buddy, or anything randomly engaging. if you’re having a hard time, you should feel safe and okay to talk about it in your own space. we’re writers and we’re people and while there’s a lot to be said for how engagement outside of oneself is necessary in rp (and really really needs to improve), i think there’s a lot that must be said about people reaching out to others. it’s become so solitary here — the whole ‘reblog from source’ thing when it comes to shit like about and musings is absurd. the whole refusing to like things is ridiculous. yes, curate your space, that’s important, but curating your space into a studio apartment only you live in doesn’t make this a community anymore, it makes it a studio apartment you live in.
just be yourself here. do whatever you want. but i’m always saying: remember you’re not alone, and don’t let yourself feel that way.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[this is illogically worded and after an argument I’m already upset but I just felt like this has to be put here. it’s been sitting on my#brain for so long and it’s something i just wanted to discuss. the way the rpc has become not even an echo chamber just… a shitty ny#apartment only one person lives in that can fit your fridge and your bedroom in the same room. the way literal fandoms have divided each#other through nothing but massive senses of entitlement and so much gatekeepy fucking language. it’s exhausting to watch this happen#literally all because i have no idea where interaction went and yes I’ve been virtually inactive for months now but. it absolutely isn’t for#lack of trying to come back. it’s hugely due to a lack of interaction whenever I reach out and then the feeling like I’m being either#entertained or dismissed. this is a social space and we’re people and everybody just needs to recognize that. like. last week my introverted#broski started discussing how as he’s older he feels loneliness more tangibly but he hates people and i looked right at him and said …yeah#dude. that’s natural. we’re humans. we need each other to live. we need spaces we create and communities we make. but like. there need to be#interactive people in those spaces. we’re social creatures. i love you guys and this is a ramble but… it’s been on my mind awhile. and#frankly? feels kinda good to finally speak my mind.]
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#Thinking about Gorillaz again.... Sigh...#You wouldn't get it/j#I'm not gonna start shipping 2doc out of nowhere but sometimes I stop and think that's one of the only Gorillaz ship#With any real meat to it#Not to say the other ships aren't valid or bad but.... *Shakes head takes a long drag of my cigarette* you wouldn't get it/hj#Cause they're the only two characters with any meat to them! Even now in their sorry caricature states they have 2dimensions (lol) instead#Of one#Noodle hasn't been a real character since phase two though had a small renesanse in phase 4#Russel.... My sweet prince... What have you been since phase 2? Set dressing? A way to sell chilly?#Yes 2doc is abusive. But isn't that what makes it intriguing#Murdoc made 2d what he is and 2d can't ever leave him and Murdoc can't ever leave his shadow and they hate eachother and they love#Each other etc. Etc.#Whatever I haven't even listened to their last few albums 😭#Anyway this is mostly a shitpost but I'm also thinking
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"smart" marks when someone actually gives an offensive insult to someone on the mic : this is a bad promo actually
#fandom wank#dudes say they dont get worked and then start saying the rival of their faves are a bad promo because they act like they actually hate#their faves instead of doing the 'i hate you but i secretly love you act nudge nudge wink'#was it out of line? was it something a good guy shouldnt be saying? yes! but they hate each other so that makes sense theyd be awful when#they usually wont go there#also look at the goddamn crowd reaction. ppl were screaming over it#(and the context too like. as if punk didnt bring up becky first)
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Trying to watch 999 let’s plays is such hell to me - NO ONE PLAYS THE GAME RIGHT just shutupshutupshutupshutup and play the game!! Stop trying to make jokes!!!!
I’m too autistic for this, I cannot bear hearing let’s players doing their own voice acting when I adore the game’s VAs too much. Everyone always fucks up Santa’s and Lotus’s voices especially.
I understand the draw of Let’s Plays are largely the people playing them who have gained their own following, but as someone who just loves the game I don’t wanna hear ur stupid banter 💥💥💥 play the game and be intrigued but not TOO intrigued because give it a fuckin minute it’ll explain what’s going on 🙄‼️
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#zero escape#999#my opinion is that the let’s plays that are alright are half-blind play thrus where one person is knowledgeable about everything#and can keep the blind one on track and properly guide their curiousity#I also lose my MIND when people get stuck on the puzzles on this ridiculously easy game#(<- says the person who has played it numerous times and knows all the solutions by heart)#like you IDIOT just do THIS#(<- also the person who still has to look up the answer to the box puzzle behind door 6)#and don’t get me started on when the LPers hate Lotus#don’t get me wrong - disliking her especially when u get to the hospital room is Good and Correct as it’s what the writing is leading you to#but some LPers get so misogynistic about it I have to immediately tap out cuz its too much#also another reason why I don’t like when they don’t use the in-game voice acting#is cuz so many people play Junpei as Basic Anime Protag when Evan Smith’s voice acting gives him SO much character#and Junpei is my favorite >:(#I have many more gripes but that’s enough for now#I just want everyone to experience how great this game is but ONLY in the way I LIKE#I know I sound so whiny and entitled but please tell me someone else relates#the urge I get to just make a whole channel dedicated to 999 play thrus where I just play the game again and again with a different friend#would they all be identical to each other because I would be directing them all the same?#yes. but what greater autistic joy is that (for me)#I never thought the Joseph Anderson streams would be my favorite playthrus cuz I hated them too at first#but his dynamic with chat and consistent amusement and enjoyment of the game is very nice and soothing
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“yeah no i just havent had any good ideas recently” its okay Felix Tsukasalover we all lie sometimes
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#yes these are all about wxs + i dont feel like elaborating on any rn because if i do i Wont Stop so i covered them up#if i ever run out of ideas i can just start writing about the cards#but i really do think thatll take. A while. Especially considering everything id like to reread + some of these are Several analyses put#into one idea bcs i dont feel like typing each wxs comm + showtime x audience and leader + idk a Lot of stuff ok#i could also write four big analyses that just takes a deep dive into each individual wxs member at some point but thats for the faraway#future. Also if i ever get tired i can always write about ohshc or look into the other pjsk groups for once#oh but i will admit that im having writers block rn so idk when any of this will be started on#and i Really Hate School its been so boring#ideas#might delete later
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i hate them with a passion
#this may turn into one of my long ass posts with hundreds of screenshots of quotes from the books#but i dont have the energy for that just now#anyway. this moment makes me wanna throw shit at the walls. their relationship is my favourite thing from the very beginning#but dumas went really went out of his way to make it even more insane in the last book#and dont hit me with a 'aww they have such a big/little brother energy its so cute uwu' please im begging you stop saying that#nothing irks me more than hearing their relationship described as something that innocent. its so much more complex and intense come on#there is pure visceral hate there. jealousy. bile. cruelty. some fucked up form of codependency even? maybe? from d'artagnan's side?#there's nothing more horrible and cruel than the fact that THEY are the only two left alive in the end (not for long but yknow)#they would NEVER be friends if not for athos (and they would never hate each other so much if not for him too)#they hate each other so so much. but remember that d'artagnan starts out being absolutely bedazzled by aramis and looking up to him#his first impression of aramis is just. hearteyes and 'wow i wish that were me'. he doesnt do that even with athos at first.#he grows to adore athos yes but upon first meeting him he doesnt think much of him. unlike with aramis.#and then it changes instantly. does a 180° flip when aramis is a bitch to him.#and it stays that way for the entirety of the trilogy. until this moment. this one short moment when d'artagnan#who. mind you. is not innocent himself and was also manipulating the hell out of porthos and talking shit about aramis behind his back.#but he makes that step. he reaches out. 'i fucking hate you let me help you you dumb evil cunt' and aramis says 'no <3'#you know i have this thing where i am OBSESSED with finding the one moment where a character condemns themselves for good.#the one moment when they figuratively sign the contract for their perdition. that up to that moment they could still be saved somehow.#for rodrigo it is when he tries to kill eboli (in the play). for don giovanni it is when he refuses elvira's plea to change#(NOT when he accepts il commendatore's invite mind you)#and i feel like THIS is that moment for aramis.#the fact that it comes from d'artagnan is so just so fucking agsjssgsgsh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and of course he says no.#there is no version of this where he lets himself be helped. he has to say no he will always say no.#but boy oh boy is this making me bang my head against the wall.#the three musketeers#les trois mousquetaires#vicomte de bragelonne#alexandre dumas
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went to the beach w kp & 4 other indian friends & 3 of us had NEVER surfed before girl WHEW it’s SO fun literally only 20quid to rent a wetsuit & board & i fucking smashed my toes on the sand so much, but also we 1) got the wrong tickets so we got off 1 stop early 2) went to find a bus & the bus that was supposed to be 15 min turned into an HOUR 3) on our way to find a bus back everyone’s phones are dying or dead bc it took us 3hrs longer to get there, cigarettes are out 4) all of the shops in town are closed & the town seems to have ONLY a tesco extra & 1 off license that sells a PACK FOR 15.65 A PACK WHICH IS FUCKING CRIMINAL ITS CHEAPER TO BUY IT FROM TESCO ARE U INSANE 5) the bus back to the other town kept skipping us bc the bus stop wasn’t the ACTUAL bus stop - i had 1 bowl since literally 11a & we got back at fucking 11p 😭😭😭
#diary#i was honestly abt to strangle EVERYBODY#‘do u have a cigarette’ ‘where’s ur vape’ ‘where are we going’ ‘which bus is it’ ‘do u have a ___’ ‘did u bring ___’ girl what am i DORA w#the magic fuckin BACKPACK ??? while ur UP MY ASS dig around & SEE IF SMTHGS IN THERE 😭😭😭😭#i literally broke sobriety again bc i was just#girl i was so agitated & there was 1 TRAIN LEFT BEFORE 11P so we needed to get the 2ND TO LAST BUS OF THE DAY#i deadass was like ‘if we miss that train i will make sure u all go blind’ ‘did u bring a knife’ ‘I DONT NEED 1’#AKSJAKSKAKKSJSKSSJAKJSKAHSKSHDLASKAKDLA#LIKE U BITCHES SMOKED ALL MY CIGARETTES MY VAPES DEAD MY PHONES DYING UR ALL DRUNK IM GOING TO KILL YALL 😭😭😭😭😭#<- me knowing i could never be a parent#tbh if i caught my kid smoking a cig id make em do the ol ‘im going to sit down in front of u w a fresh box of cigarettes & make u finish#the box or pass out’#YES IM STRICT#i think it’s so funny ok unrelated but like they’ll speak hindi & i’ve just#learned it through being around them kind of like i can’t speak it except for some word u know like matachot etc but i’ll Understand the#Context & what’s being Said#ASLKALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA like while waiting for the train back 1 of them was talking abt me being a fool to the others - literally they’re#all indian & i had walked away so when i walked back he was still talkin but then i started giggling bc i knew he was talkin abt me & how i#pinched a bit of the kebab to throw to the seagull bc he offered it to me & i needed to bait the seagull w something & i pinched & tossed &#& he looked at me like 😦 bhenchod ! & then the seagull came over & i was like :D hi bestie <3333 but then when i started giggling after i#walked back he was like ‘what the fuck does he just know hindi now’#it makes me laugh so fucking HARD 😭😭😭😭😭 LIKE FUCK U I LIKE TO PARTICPATE IN COVERSATION IDC ABT LANGUAGE#like i’ve been surrounded by yall for the past#girl it’s been like a year i don’t even talk to british ppl or americans#ALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSLALSLA MESS ! i love to slavsquat & kp hates it bc he’s like ‘we’re in the uk why are u sitting like this’ bc he thinks#it’s ’too indian’ ALSKALSKALSKALJSKAKDLA 😭😭😭😭😭 this hips were made for sitting#we’re definitely going to go back bc it’s SO CLOSE IF WE ACTUALLY USE THE TRANSPORT PROPERLY ITS ONLY LIKE AN HOUR OR SO COMMUTE EACH WAY#bring lunch whatever#i’m exhausted but also socially like bro i had to leave the donner place just to walk around the block for SOME QUIET#i’ve just been sososososo busy LOSING MY MIND
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unpopular opinion but a ship being queer coded doesn't make it compelling
#the dynamic between the characters‚ on another hand‚ does!#sometimes ships from certain media are carried by 'queer coding' instead of being relevant because of the actual relationship#that‚ to me‚ means very little#what does it matter if their colours compliment each other or that their names are intended to hint at something if the relationship in#the story fails to portray anything romance-like or their dynamic is just poorly written?#i could go on a tangent here because this is coming from me wanting to rant about a specific genshin ship but i will shut up#i just want to be a hater#i don't even hate the ship itself it's the fans who take scenes out of context and depth from the characters to make the narrative fit#also the constant idea in fandoms that friendships/platonic relationships can't have depth or be the reason someone cares deeply for#somebody else. or even the idea platonic feelings can't be complicated.#i think it's also hard for me to swallow every genshin ship because it's obvious they use queer coding without compromise as a way to#profit with both the staights and the lgbts but whatever#yes i am aware of the censorship but i'm also aware they're a multi-millionaire company that keeps repeating the same 'formula'#for marketing everytime new characters are released... and it works.#genshin will never be as gay as actual gay media from gay creators and i think people have a hard time grasping that#a bit unrelated to my original point but also not really because i do think it influences the way people interact with the story#i'm not trying to say people can't have fun by the way 😂#this all started because i dislike a popular ship and that makes you feel like you're somehow missing a few screws#how come i'm the only right person here 🤣 (joking)
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