#but yeah uhhhh I'm gay sorry not sorry

[tapucocoafgc]

5 years ago today, my extremely close gal pal who I was crushing on hard at the time DM'd me and was like, hey, 🏳️‍🌈?

As someone who didn't think she'd make it this far in multiple ways, I'm still fucking gobsmacked I got so lucky, but I'm thankful for it every day. Happy annniversary boo

As I do every year, have this pic of a very real IRL representation of me saying or doing something stupid just to make her laugh because it's one of my favorite things ever

[diiv]

who up falling they gravity

[bread--quest]

It's 2012 somewhere. Welcome.... to Night Vale Tumblr.

👁️ nvcr-official

Hi guys! I'm Intern Sarah! Excited to be joining you all!

👁️ nvcr-official

To the friends and family of Intern Sarah, she was a good intern and social media manager, and we are sorry to see her go. We will work to find a new intern as soon as possible.

83 notes

🦉 dark-owl-records

CALL OUT POST FOR CECIL PALMER

hes gotten away with shit for too long and im sick of it. tl;dr horrific intern mistreatment with no compensation, mountain denier, homophobic

keep reading

❌ number-one-moonhater Follow

Hey uh. Aren't you a company account? Why are you posting this

🦉 dark-owl-records

L + ratio + god forbid women do anything + your music taste is trash

🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow

Isn't Cecil literally gay?

🦉 dark-owl-records

he's homophobic

🪼 jeebyfish Follow

he has a husband...

🦉 dark-owl-records

yeah and he won't fucking shut up about it

2,500 notes

🤫 cecils-private-blog

Carlos hasn't liked any of my woodcarving posts in THREE DAYS!! I'm so scared what if he's going to break up with me :((

👁️ nvcr-official

Cecil he's your husband he's not breaking up with you. also this isn't a private blog you just put private in the url

🤫 cecils-private-blog

HOW DID YOU SEE THIS

4 notes

🏜️ sandeater Follow

tamika flynn spotted in ralph's dairy aisle "slaying" the milk

🦂 scorpiansscuttle Follow

op i know this is a joke but one time i was in the ralphs dairy aisle and there was some butter up on a really high shelf and someone said "don't worry, i'll get it" and i turned around and it was fucking tamika flynn

☁️ average-weather-enjoyer Follow

fake story :/

📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram

No it's true I was there

🚂 traintonowhere Follow

TAMIKA FLYNN??

🏜️ sandeater Follow

what the fuck is happening on my post

8,345 notes

👁️ nvcr-official

can you guys please stop sending cecil weird shit... i don't want to have to explain to my boss what a dilf is

27 notes

🐚 mariella-shella

Hey guys!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently! I entered a hole in the wall and when I got out I realized I didn't know how long I'd been in there, or where I was, or who I am, and I'm not sure that I'm still the person who entered that hole however long ago. Anyway, the normal posting schedule will resume as soon as I remember what my normal posting schedule was, and if I'm still the person who had that posting schedule!

🌪️ sandstorm-gf Follow

omg mariella!!! missed u so much girl glad ur back!

🐚 mariella-shella

i miss me too

42 notes

😎 Anonymous asked: Response to the homophobic allegations?

🎙️ cecilpalmer

Huh??

🎙️ cecilpalmer

@nvcr-official What does this mean? Is it new slang?

👁️ nvcr-official

uhhhh dont worry about it buddy

50 notes

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

hey guys im in quarantine for eating wheat and wheat byproducts uh...send asks?? i might be in here for a while lmaooo

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

oh lights in the sky its been 5 years since i made this post

☁️ glowcloudapologist Follow

how's it going op

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

i miss my family

506 notes

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

hey if anyone remembers anything about the person running this blog can you tell me? trying to recover the fragments of my identity from the void of memory lol

🥔 potato-enthusiast Follow

you were really hot

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

FUCK YEAHHHHHH

89 notes

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

just a reminder that new residents of east night vale are fully welcome to interact with this blog!!!! you will not be harassed and any hate will be blocked. this blog is safe even if this town isn't sometimes <3

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

This is so sweet, thank you so much! Just so you know, even though it's officially called East Night Vale now, a lot of people still call it Desert Bluffs! Just thought you might want to know :)

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

i'm not calling it that sorry

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

What??? Why??

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

just kind of sucks. as a name

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

?????????

170 notes

🐄

⬜️ kentuckymeatshower_deactivated11051983

what does this mean....

🌌 cece-xeze Follow

another great post from huntokar herself

16,683 notes

🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow

🌲 little-miss-ectoplasm Follow

you don't like pine cliff? 👻 oo ooo?

👁️ nvcr-official

NIGHT VALE SWEEEEEP

806 notes

😁 the-happy-smiler Follow

Hi everyone!! Since Twitter went down, I figured I'd try my hand at this Tumblr thing! I'm so excited to meet all of you!! Hope you're ready for some pictures of CENTIPEDES!! Feel free to AMA about the Smiling God!

👁️ nvcr-official

I

🦉 dark-owl-records

N

🎙️ cecilpalmer

T

📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram

E

🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow

R

🚂 traintonowhere Follow

L

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

O

🌌 cece-xeze Follow

P

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

E

🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow

R

21,983 notes

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: "Sorry- sorry Husk! I know my text said I was on my way, but I had to do something reeeeal quickie- QUICKLY- and-"

Husk: "Your girlfriend?"

Charlie: "HOW DID YOU- ahem. Um. No."

Husk: "Oh yeah? You've got lipstick marks all over your jaw and a fucking grey feather in your hair."

Charlie: (carefully removing feather) "I, had a makeup accident?"

Husk: "Uh huh. And the feather?"

Charlie: "I tripped and fell on some lipstick. While... dusting."

Husk: "You're as shit a liar as she is."

Charlie: (dreamily) "Not as good a kisser, though..."

Husk: "Eugh. You sure got over the murder thing pretty fucking fast."

Charlie: "Hm? Which murder thing?"

Husk: "The 'her doing more murder than all assholes in this place combined' thing. Thought you'd be more. Y'know. Fucked up over it."

Charlie: (laughing) "I mean, it doesn't really change much does it? When we started dating I thought she was a sinner anyway, probably down here for multiple murders, and in way I wasn't even wrong about that! So..."

Charlie: "....."

Charlie: "You think she's got the highest kill count?"

Husk: "Fuck yeah she does."

Charlie: "H-uh."

Husk: "Shit- you ever SEE those Exorcist bitches at work? Ever see HER when SHE'S got something that needs doing? She's like a fucking machine. A glaring, relentless, strict as hell bitch who won't stop for one fucking second until she gets the job done."

Charlie: "That's, true. That's a... very evocative point. It's."

Charlie: "Hmm.."

Husk: ".... you wanna go do more fucking 'dusting' don't you."

Charlie: "I think I missed a spot- let's reschedule for half an hour? An hour? Two give me two hours and I SWEAR I'll be right with you to talk about- about the uhhhh-"

Husk: "You have no fucking clue."

Charlie: "-exactly, yes! We'll reconvene about the thing once I'm done getting her off- Getting off on h- GETTING THE DUST OFF."

Husk: "Save my fucking ears and just fucking go."

Charlie: "Thanks Husk love you too gay you later BYEEEE~"

Husk: "Ugh."

Husk: (drink)

Husk: "Fuck my life..."

Charlie: "IM TRYING!"

Husk: "I SAID FUCK MY LIFE NOT FUCK YOUR WIFE! AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN FUCKING MARRIED TO HER!!!"

Charlie: (distantly) "Yet~!"

[steviewashere]

They Were Roommates!

Rating: Mature CW: None Relationships: Steve/Eddie, Steve & Robin, Eddie & Robin, Eddie & Chrissy, Robin/Chrissy Tags: Alternate Universe — Modern Setting, Texting, Dialogue Only, Text Fic, Humor, Sexual Humor, Bad Flirting, Mild Angst, Stardew Valley References, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington is a Little Shit, Eddie Munson is a Little Shit, Robin Buckley is a Little Shit, Chrissy Cunningham is a Sweetheart, Alternate Universe — Roommates/Housemates, Robin Buckley is a Chappell Roan Fan, Steve Harrington is Chronically Offline, Eddie Munson is Chronically Online, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Gay Disaster Eddie Munson, Alternate Universe — No Upside Down, Alternate Universe — No Supernatural Elements, Neurodivergent Steve Harrington, Neurodivergent Eddie Munson, Neurodivergent Robin Buckley Originally posted here on AO3, but I felt it was time to bring it over to Tumblr. Lots of sexual jokes in here, I'm sorry lol

📱—————📱

Steve: Do you wanna hang out in my room? I could rent that new Kristen Stewart movie.

Robin: Can’t. I’m being gay and listening to music.

Steve: …what?

Robin: I’m being gay and listening to music.

Steve: You’re…??? I don’t understand.

Robin: Chappell Roan.

Steve: ? Who?

Robin: Chappell Roan. The singer. The lesbian icon. Chappell Roan.

Seen 2h ago

——— Eddie: hey

Steve: Hey? Aren’t you driving? Why are you texting me?

Eddie: yeah, about that

Eddie: I was driving home and I guess I ran over a nail?? or maybe a sharp stick or something? I dunno but now I have a flat tire and I need to be picked up

Steve: You don’t have a spare? Shouldn’t you carry one for a van like that?

Eddie: steve.

Steve: Eddie.

Eddie: what makes you think somebody like me has a spare tire?? I don’t even have a modern radio in this fuckass van why would I have a spare tire

Steve: So that you don’t get in situations like this? Forget the spare tire. Where are you? I’ll come get you.

Eddie: I’m uhhhh……at Walmart in the parking lot

Eddie: I got something for your birthday so you cant look inside of my bag

Eddie: god, this shit is a pain in the ass

Eddie: this would’ve never happened if harambe didn’t die

Steve: Who?

Eddie: you’re joking. steve, tell me you’re joking and that you know who harambe is.

Steve: Was he a friend of yours?

Eddie: holy shit. you don’t know who harambe is. what the hell were you doing in 2016

Steve: 🙄 

Steve: Can you just tell me so that I can pick you up and we can have dinner?

Eddie: you’re gonna have to sit down for this

Eddie: basically, harambe was this gorilla in the……cincinnati zoo, I think?? anyway he was this gorilla that was just sorta vibing in his enclosure and then this little boy fell in

Steve: Oh my god. Is the boy okay?

Eddie: oh, the boy is totally fine

Eddie: the zoo killed the gorilla tho

Seen just now

Eddie: steve? hello?

Steve: They killed the gorilla? Did the gorilla even do anything?

Eddie: nope

Steve: So they just killed an innocent gorilla?

Eddie: yeah

Eddie: they thought he’d kill the kid

Seen just now

Eddie: soooo….u on ur way?

Eddie: steve?

Eddie: steeeeveeeeee

Steve: Hold on, dude.

Eddie: I can order an uber

Steve: Just give me a fucking second. I’m crying in the middle of our apartment’s courtyard, Jesus Christ.

Steve: A little boy just asked if I was okay and I had to tell him that some zoo killed a gorilla and now he’s crying with me.

Steve: You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.

Eddie: ???

Eddie: we sleep in separate beds. in separate rooms.

Steve: Couch.

Eddie: ….fine, m’lord. sorry.

——— Robin: why did you tell him about Harambe?

Eddie: he asked!

Robin: he. won’t. stop. using. my. computer.

Robin: even when I get it back, there’s like five tabs in my history about that fucking gorilla.

Robin: wait. hold on.

Eddie: oh, god. Is he crying again?

Eddie: I’m already at the store. I’ll get him a tub of that mudslide ice cream and uhhh…do you think he likes red or white roses??

Eddie: there’s a sale on those big Reese’s easter eggs….I’ll get him a few of those

Eddie: do you think it’s too much to get him balloons…

Eddie: robin? hello? why do you guys just stop responding?

Robin: dude. he reads People magazine. like…

Robin sent a photo

Robin: that’s his inbox, dude. he left himself logged in and there’s like fifty of these People emails.

Eddie: robs, don’t kick a guy while he’s down

Eddie: that’s poopy :(

Robin: you’re the reason he’s feeling so shitty! suck his dick or something, fuckhead. that might make him feel better

Eddie: yeah? you think?

Eddie: doesn’t he use flavored condoms though? 

Eddie: mmmm…strawberry dick

Robin: HE BOUGH CHAPPELL ROAN TICKETS??? THE BASTARD

Robin: he doesn’t even know who she is…

Robin: also

Robin: please don’t send me “mmmm….strawberry dick” ever again.

Eddie: sto psnooping and i won’t do that

Robin: …no

Eddie: get ready for me to suck your best friend’s dick, then. I got him three of those Reese’s eggs, a tub of ice cream, a bouquet of white roses, and Walmart’s finest boxed wine.

Eddie: he’ll forget about his woes with ye olde harambe

Eddie: cuz he’ll only think of my name, motherfucker

Seen just now

Robin: I hate u

Eddie: eat my farts

Robin: 🖕

Eddie: I love you too, robs

Robin: get me sprite please.

Robin: and pads ultra absorbent in the orange wrapper.

Eddie: will do with haste, m’lady

Eddie: got you a new bottle of midol and a large chewy nerds rope

Robin: thank you

Robin: just don’t tell me when you suck his dick, that’s all I ask

Eddie: I make no promises.

Seen just now

——— Steve: Why is there like five Reese’s eggs sitting on my bedspread right now?

Eddie: I’m apologizing

Steve: For?

Steve: Wait…Is this about that gorilla? Dude, don’t worry about that. You could’ve told me that it happened eight years ago.

Eddie: oh thank god

Eddie: robin keeps encountering me in the kitchen in the middle of the night with her scary lesbian aura and the eyes sharp enuf to kill a man

Eddie: I got you ice cream and flowers, too did you see them ????

Seen 3m ago

Steve: When are you coming home?

Eddie: uhhhhh

Eddie: like two hours my shift here should be done by then if my dickwad of a manager lets me out on time

Eddie: fucker might ask me to stay back tho because the closers can’t do their jobs

Eddie: why?

Steve: I need to eat your love straight out of your asshole.

Eddie: Jesus

Eddie: …

Eddie: damnit Steve, now I’m fully erect in the walk-in

Steve: You can’t come home now?

Eddie: no sweetheart I can’t

Seen 5m ago

Steve: I put your pillows on my bed. If you don’t fuck me into next Sunday when you come back, I’ll tell Robin you’re the reason our couch has a huge stain on it.

Eddie: mmm

Eddie: you drive a hard bargain but…ok.

Steve: Really? You’re easy to convince.

Eddie: you kidding me? I’ve been wanting you in bed with me since the day I met you, pretty boy

Eddie: im fucking over the moon right now that my proposition worked

Steve: If you call it “propositioning” one more time, Robin will know about the couch.

Eddie: okay fine, I’m not propositioning

Eddie: I’m rizzing you up

Steve: What does that mean?

Eddie: you’re so offline and it’s doing things to me

Eddie: charming. I’m charming u

Eddie: you’re my favorite old person.

Steve: ?

Steve: I’m twenty-three.

Eddie: whatever you say, peepaw

Eddie: I gotta go have to take care of this massive hard-on you gave me. can’t wash dishes like this

Steve: Yeah? We should put that to the test.

Eddie: and I’m the freak ??

Seen just now

——— Robin has created a group chat with two other people

Robin: the next time you guys resolve the issues you two idiots create for each other, can you let me know ahead of time? you’re lucky I didn’t bring Chrissy home with me from class.

Eddie: I don’t know what you’re talking about nothing happened

Robin: I thought somebody brought home a girl, but it was just Steve.

Steve: Do I sound like a pretty girl at least?

Robin: the prettiest, but seriously. 

Robin: I don’t need to hear you guys getting it on while I’m trying to eat my after school taco.

Eddie: don’t you need Chrissy for that ??

Robin: I’m going to put nair in your shampoo.

Steve liked a message: "the prettiest, but seriously."

Steve: I’m ordering pizza. You guys want cheesy bread?

Robin: Yes!

Eddie: plz? With the garlic dip too 🥺 ??

Steve liked a message: "plz? with the garlic dip too 🥺 ??"

Robin: you text like a bottom

Steve: Trust me, he’s not. ;)

Robin: uggghhhhh!! I’m so proud of you two but also go fuck yourselves, you turds

Eddie: with pleasure

Eddie: robs, steve and I are gonna have sex before the pizza gets here

Robin: you two are insufferable.

Robin: I’m gonna sit on the porch and call my girlfriend. before I implode.

Delivered 10m ago

Robin: Chrissy says congratulations.

Delivered 2m ago

——— Eddie: robs, I’m about to have birthday sex with Steve

Eddie: put your headphones on

Robin: he opened that game you got him and immediately needed to do it? Jesus

Eddie: about to get me a slice of that birthday cake if you know what I mean

Robin: please just shut up.

——— Robin: Eddie.

Eddie: ? wut

Robin: you need to tell your boyfriend that he can’t use voice to text when you two are flirting

Robin: I was on the phone with my fucking gyno’s office and I could hear him through the other room say

Robin: and I quote

Robin: “I’m going to ravish that perky ass of yours.”

Robin: my gyno asked me if I was busy, Edward. busy having buttsex with my platonic soulmate. I was humiliated.

Robin: I need you to have a convo with him or something.

Eddie: u should buy earplugs

Robin: I WAS ON THE PHONE, EDWARD

Robin: ON THE PHONE WITH MY VAGINA DOCTOR

Robin: IT WAS EMBARRASSING FOR EVERYBODY INVOLVED

Eddie: but he’s such a slow typer

Eddie: it’s literally like watching my uncle try and use his phone

Eddie: but fine.

Eddie: I’ll make him play that game I got him or something instead of text me

Robin: fucking thank you

Robin: and stop leaving your dildo in the bathtub

Eddie: wut dildo ?? I don’t own a dildo

Robin: …

Robin: I’m gonna wring his neck, brb

Eddie: he’s using a dick that isn’t mine ?? :(

Delivered 10m ago

——— Steve: If I can’t use voice to text to flirt, then you shouldn’t be able to have loud phone sex with Chrissy, Robs.

Robin: …no comment

Eddie: are u having loud phone sex with MY platonic soulmate ??

Eddie: bro…

Robin: she told me my trumpet tounging skills were good and that she couldn’t stop thinking about them

Robin: 😔 so I got horny with it, I’m sorry

Eddie: birdie getting horny on main ?? with a praise kink of all things ??

Steve: Hey, I take offense to that. You praise me all the time.

Eddie reacted to a message: "Hey, I take offense to that. You praise me all the time."

Eddie: sorry sweetheart, ’twas only in jest

Robin: I thought Stevie was listening to music while playing his farm game! I didn’t think he could hear me!

Eddie: tsk tsk

Robin: I’m going to Chrissy’s. and turning my notifs off.

Eddie: where does she live ??

Robin: what? you’ve been to her parent’s house

Eddie: in pound town ?!!

Eddie: oh that… that sent too l8

Steve: Eddie, can you come back from your uncle’s? I started playing Stardew Valley this morning and I’m at a point where I need to find the mayor’s shorts. I don’t know where they are.

Steve: Never mind. Got them.

Steve: Why were they in Marnie’s room?

Eddie: steve… baby …

Steve: ?

Eddie: they were having crazy sex animal style

Seen just now

Steve disliked a message: "they were having crazy sex animal style"

Steve: When are you going to stop being on the internet? It’s fundamentally changed something in you that I don’t think can ever be reverted.

Eddie: that would be whimsy, m’lord

Eddie: and childlike wonder

Robin: can you guys get a room? I’m trying to drive and my stupid car play keeps reading out your text messages.

Steve: Why won’t this character leave his bedroom? Is he Eddie?

Eddie: … ur so feisty today

Steve: Feisty for you.

Robin: GET A ROOM, YOU FREAKS

Delivered just now

——— Robin: I just got home and Steve’s in the exact same spot on the couch that I left him in at like noon. it’s six.

Eddie: is he seriously still on that game I got him ??

Robin: the farm game, right? otherwise, he bought a new game while I was gone

Eddie: yeh. he mentioned it like once and I thought it wood be nice for his birthday but now I’m regretting my choices

Robin: I just peeked my head into the living room and he’s currently feeding chickens on the big screen and cooing at them as if they’re real. I don’t think we’re gonna be watching Chopped tonight.

Eddie: 😔 that’s my favorite part of our dinners tho

Robin: it’s your fault. he’s been on there since like eight this morning.

Robin: I heard him yelling about some bitch named Pierre because he couldn’t buy seeds. I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing game??

Eddie: it usually is but you know Steve

Eddie: he rages over like every game

Eddie: I just thought it would be a change of pace from that match three game he keeps getting himself sucked into

Robin: mmm…that royal match one, right? he keeps sending me invites. think he’s on like level 560.

Eddie: how ?? he started playing that two days ago

Robin: pattern recognition.

Eddie: ahhh yeahhh pattern recognition

Eddie: the reason why every horror movie marathon ends up boring for him

Eddie: he figured out the killers in the new scream movies within the first ten minutes

Robin: he’s yelling about someone named marnie?? he needs to buy hay but can’t get it. I might need you to come back from your uncle’s and convince him to put the controller down.

Eddie: no, marnie can go fuck herself. she’s having an affair with the mayor and putting everybody’s animals in jeopardy.

Robin: so much rage and gossip for a game about farming.

Seen just now

Robin: Eddie, he’s making kissy noises at an NPC and telling him that he’s gonna capture all the frogs in the world.

Robin: should I be worried?

Eddie: nah, just let him be at least this is giving him something to do

Eddie: he’s been having a pretty bummer week

Eddie: had a phone call with his parents. didn’t end well.

Robin: ah, okay. will you pick up our normal pizza order on your way back?? I’m not in the mood to cook tonight.

Eddie: yeh, sure

Robin: remind me to send you money on Venmo.

Robin: I’m gonna get him to info dump.

Robin: maybe I’ll start playing with you guys, too.

Eddie: don’t worry about the Venmo thing. but I am going to force you to play. think you’ll love it.

Eddie: although, then I’ll have to deal with two Stardew addicts

Eddie: oh well, be home soon

Seen 2m ago

——— Robin: can Chrissy live with us?

Eddie: I don’t see a problem with it, homie

Steve: Yeah, I don’t see why not.

Steve: Is everything okay though? Does she need a place to stay right now?

Robin: everything’s fine, Stevie. don’t need to worry

Robin: I just want her with me and as much as I love you guys, I’m tired of being the only woman in the apartment

Robin: and being the only level-headed one

Robin: but mainly because I want to cuddle my girlfriend every night

Steve: Yeah, sure.

Eddie: fuck yeah

Eddie: two pairs of best friend chaos

Eddie: surely this will go well

Robin added a person to the group

Chrissy: Hey guys!!

Eddie: Chrissy, my love my light my world

Eddie: you’re going to regret everything

Steve emphasized a message: "Chrissy, my love my light my world"

Steve: I thought I was that?

Eddie: you’re my moon, stars, and galaxy

Eddie: you’re the universe

Steve: Hehe, really?

Robin: hey chris, this is how they are please get used to it because they’ve been driving me insane for months now

Chrissy: I think it’s cute! 💕

Chrissy: I should add them in the Sims!!

Steve: What’s that?

Robin: oh no

Eddie: Chrissy, don’t do it don’t tell him

Chrissy: Oh, it’s this game where you can make characters and build them a house and basically guide their lives. It’s really cool, Steve!

Chrissy: You should play it!

Steve: Is it fun?

Chrissy: Oh my god, yeah! You can make anybody and literally do anything. 

Chrissy: Like think of all the people you hate.

Chrissy: You can make them and kill them and make them suffer and it doesn’t actually harm anybody in real life, it’s great! 💕

Robin: Chrissy

Chrissy: Yes, love?

Robin: he just disappeared into the home office.

Eddie: somebody needs to take his card away from him like right now

Robin: too late. I just heard the music start up.

Eddie: Chrissy, I love you to bits and pieces but I think you’ve successfully indoctrinated a new monster

Steve: I can fine tune the genders of these guys.

Steve: I’m making a dog and his name is going to be Peanut.

Steve: This game is wonderful.

Delivered 30m ago

Steve: Eddie’s pregnant and the kitchen is on fire.

Eddie: wut how it’s been half an hour

Eddie: why am I pregnant

Eddie: steve, what did you do

Steve: 😏

Steve: You know what I did.

Eddie: Steve. I’m coming home early from my trip at Wayne’s. but I need you to answer when I call you. I can’t be horny in here.

Robin: You guys are disgusting. Chrissy, what have you done?

Chrissy: Robin, we’re getting married in the Sims.

Robin: I luv you 💕

Chrissy: Now we’re having sex animal style.

Eddie: I hate that I taught you that.

Steve: We had a son.

Seen just now

Eddie liked a message: "We had a son."

Eddie: name him corn. it would be funny

Seen 5m ago

Eddie: no love for corn boy ?

Steve: Sometimes I wish you would shut up.

Eddie: make me

Steve: I’m gonna be fucking Eddie when he comes home in like thirty minutes. Don’t come back until I text you.

Robin: I’m staying at Chrissy’s tonight to help her pack. don’t do butt stuff on the couch.

Eddie: I make no promises

Steve liked a message: "I make no promises"

Seen 5m ago

——— Robin: Steve, what’s with the orange envelope on my desk? it’s too ominous for my liking.

Steve: You should open it! :D

Steve: It’s a gift for you and Chris for your guys’ one year!

Robin: CHAPPELL ROAN

Steve: :)

Steve: In New York, too! I found the good flights from Chicago to there and back. I booked you guys a hotel and there’s a whole printed out page of all the good restaurants in the area! And I also have some cash that you guys can use for food and souvenirs and stuff!

Robin: …Steve you beautiful beautiful man thank you

Robin: I’m making your favorite dinner tonight

Steve: Eddie’s reading a book right next to me, though?

Robin: why are you gay

Robin: no bitch. I was talking about a reuben sandwich

Robin: but I guess if you wanna suck cock, then whatever

Steve: Eh. I’ll save it for dessert.

Steve: Also, you don’t have to act surprised about those tickets. I know you looked through my emails.

Steve: You’re literally this motherfucker.

Steve has sent an image

Robin: That’s literally just Snoopy.

Steve: You got this.

Robin: …oh

Robin: maybe don’t subscribe to People magazine and then leave fifteen tabs about harambe open on my laptop

Steve: Blame Eddie.

Robin: Blame Eddie, you’re so right.

——— Eddie: Chrissy, am I being shunned?

Chrissy: Harambe.

Eddie: what?

Steve: The gorilla.

Eddie: not this again

Robin: you have been banished to the shadows for aiding me in my quest to find the Chappell Roan tickets

Eddie: YOURE THE ONE WHO SNOOPED I TOLD YOU NOT TO

Chrissy: Babe…you told me you didn’t.

Sent 10m ago

Robin: I’ve been shunned :(

Eddie: welcum to the club, loser

Robin: I hate you

Eddie: :)

Steve: Eddie’s pregnant again.

Seen just now

Eddie liked a message: "Eddie's pregnant again."

Eddie: plz name it corn this time plzzz

Steve disliked a message: "plz name it corn this time plzzz"

Eddie: I shall avenge you corn boy, for you will not be shunned like your father

Steve: If I stop shunning you and suck your dick, will you be normal?

Eddie: maybe

Steve: Robin, Chrissy. I need you to go to the grocery store for a little bit. I have something to do before I need to go to work and you guys can’t be here.

Robin: you guys are like rabbits when is it hunting season

Steve: Love you too

Robin: Love you more, dingus. Just please stop fucking all the time.

Eddie: how else am I going to be pregnant?

Robin has left the group chat

📱—————📱 I plan on making a part two for this one! Here it is as-is, for now, though.

[aluria-sevhex]

coping with the fact that i don't have ISAT by looking at the stuff on the Steam page and compiling my impressions of the characters

perhaps i should've used visuals but fuck it we ball

uhhhh using 'they' by default because i only know Siffrin's pronouns. also i'm not sure about Bonnie and Odile's names but like there's trailer footage of them attacking while the narration calls them that so. uh yeah.

Siffrin:

blorbo

little floofy wizard guy

could commit war crimes and i would probably still love them

traumatized

idk wtf he did but they fucked up somehow. you do not end up in a time loop unless things have gone wrong

needs a hug

depressed? depressed

crushed by existential dread

ok based on some of these moments in some of the trailers they did something horribly unspeakable

Basil energy AND THAT MAKES ME WORRIED FOR HIM "everything's fine :')" NO IT FUCKING ISN'T

Isabeau:

gay for Siffrin

seems chill

likes Bonnie's cooking AS THEY SHOULD

Mirabelle:

really sweet! will fuck you up!

yeah sorry i don't have much

possibly Bonnie's sister but i may just be grasping at straws, my only evidence is they both have darker skin than the other group members and the fact that there has to be a reason this kid is going on dangerous adventures

Bonnie:

cooking gremlin

has sister issues or obtains them during the course of the story

would not want to be around in the kitchen because they're a terrifying force of nature

literal child???

Odile:

suffered for a phd

actually knows what they're doing

also gay

babysitting everybody

star head guy:

bitch

are they the reason Siffrin's in a loop?

they know about the loop

will probably be like "oh i'll help you :)" and end up being a late-game boss

"have you tried not dying?" have you tried shutting the fuck up

[the-offical-raishas-circus]

Breakdances AGAIN into your ask box

WHAT ABOUT YOUR OTHER OCS-

*falls through the floor into a hidden forest*

I'M GOOD-

Oh noooo please come backkkkkk!!!!

Yeah SOOOO UHHHH

Sorry u are getting a giant lore dump rn HAVEEE FUNNNN!!!

I don't wanna give away too much of my loreee soooo...

Ok so basically in Shining under the stage lights there's this circus right and the FORMER ringleader (Giovanni Valentino) was a bit of william afton right and he liked kidnapping kids yeah. So the CURRENT ringleader is this amazing kick-ass lady called Lucifer Valentino (My baby <333) and I Think she's amazing but APPARENTLY the authorities don't (She commits crimes) so they get this guy called Luke to sneak in and collect info so they can CHUCK my poor baby girl who has done NOTHING wrong in her life EVER-into jail. Ikr totally uncalled for. So this guy Luke he is MUCH more sensible then Luke Skywalker (STAR WARS CROSSOVER WHEN?!?!?!?) and he goes into this place with a open mind and a big heart ready to convict Lucifer for all her war crimes... And then. He meets this guy called Johnny. Now Johnny, my student, is a AWFUL HORRIBLE PERSON who SHOULD BE IN JAIL because he has committed the HENDIOUS crime of FALLING IN LOVE WITH LUCIFER. Now Lucifer is very true to her name, hence the crimes and why the government is after her. AND SHE HATES JOHNNY WITH A PASSION! (I cant blame her my bby had it right all along) So Johnny gets his arse beat. Yayyyyyyyy!!! Woooooo!!! big party!!!! So this COMPLETELY goes over Luke's little head and he sneaks inside the Circus. Forget what i said before about him being smart. He's not. ANYWAY, He gets to meet Lucifer's siblings. HOORAY!!! He meets Mirabelle first. Lucky him. Mirabelle is the sweetest most amazing little Angel ever. A complete opposite from Lucifer. Yeah, Lucifer is a nasty piece of work but THAT'S WHY WE LOVE HER!!! (Lucifer is my girllll <<<<3333) Anyway Mirabelle is the trapeze artist and the contortionist (MELANIE MARTINEZ REFENCE?!?!???!!???) and she has this weird thing where she breaks, like, 5 bones EVERYTIME she performs. She has a problem. Luckily due to plot reasons she heals quicker then a normal person (THERE'S SOME LORREEEE) and she is like always wearing bandages around her legs and arms. It doesn't seem to bother her because she is more concerned about the health of Lucifer's prisoners- I MEAN VOLUNTEARS YEAH VOLUNTEARS- and is overall a sweet person.

And then he meets her brothers Andres and Flare. Now my sister saw my concept art for Flare and called him a gay twink. The most accurate description of him ever. Flare is the fire bender/fire eater guy and he likes ARSON and burning stuff. go figure. He's also a albino fox spirit (Think male kitsune) and yes i will admit that he is based off Funtime Foxy from fnaf. Just ignore that fact. NO IT'S NOT COPYRIGHT IF I CHANGE THE NAME.

ANYWAY.

Now, Andres is a Ventriloquist. Yes, that's a thing. Search it up. So Andres has like a million puppets that pop up everywhere like annoying little whack-a-moles, and he can see out their eyes and hear through their ears and basically he's a creep but a very charming creep. (99% sure he's also gay but PLEASE do not ship Andres and Flare because they are brothers and that would be disgusting)

alright i'm done. how many words is this???

558!?!?!????!!!???!??!?!??? WHAT??!??!?! I'm actually amazing chat

Thanks for the ask!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[kattythingz]

slams in for the writing ask game with a 👻🎁 👓 🦈🎨!!

MY DOOR!! At least put it back up, man >:( And you dropped a bunch of emojis on my floor t—ooooh what's this?

👻 - what is your wildest headcanon?

Given how popular gay/bi Ed is within the fandom, it is sooo easy to say aroace Ed is my most wild headcanon. But that's too easy. Let's see... I think, in an edgreed scenario, Ed would absolutely be into Greed's carbon form. Big fuckin' fangs and all. What reason do I have for believing this? None. I just think it would be neat.

I also think Mustang doesn't possess a single parental bone in his body and that ED would sooner stab out his own eyeballs than cry and hug him, aha. And that's wild because this fandom fucking loves its parental Mustang. And I don't.

Go ahead and boo me. YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT COWA—

🎁 - have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

Absolutely no context yet:

“Let me help!” he blurted, so far ahead of himself, the way he always, always felt around this man. It sparked and flickered under his skin even when Greed looked his way with warm familiarity.  He let out a chuckle. “This one’s definitely a solo job, goldilocks. Sorry.”  In the same breath, however, he set a hand on Ed’s head and cast him a grin. “I can watch my own back for a little detour. You watch your own for me, and the kid’s. Gotta have all my possessions in mint condition when I get back, yeah?” Ed scowled despite the heat in his face. “You’re not my damn boss. Quit talking like it.” “You’re still mine, though?” Greed’s grin widened with another chuckle, and Ed wanted to die. Damn it. Damn it all—

👓 - what helps you focus when you write?

Music!! Unless I'm absolutely struggling with a scene and I really need to think in silence, it's always music. If I AM struggling, then I need absolute silence. Writing in sunlight tends to help me a ton too! Something about the vibes... they really motivate me!

🦈 - which character is the toughest to write?

Y'know, I used to think it was Al during ch2. Then I thought it was Greed in ch4 when I was still getting used to him. But no. I think the toughest character to write is fucking Bido. Greed's entire crew sans Martel in 03 don't rlly get expanded on to begin with, BUT BIDO ESP IS THE TOUGHEST NUT TO CRACK CUZ—HE'S JUST ANXIOUS?? That's his entire character! He's Anxious all the time!! BUT WHAT ELSE?

I genuinely struggle to imagine what else there is to him. It also doesn't help that Bido's character type (nervous wrecks, doormats, etc) generally just kinda uhhhh, piss me off a little?? Which might just be me projecting my anger at my younger self but WHATEVER. Bido's a tough one and I'm glad my current wip kills him off cuz I wouldn't know how to deal with him lmao

🎨 - if someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I answered this previously regarding my serious visions. But I also have plenty of silly visions!! Also for Crown, there are a ton of Team Greed moments that had me cackling at myself and wanting their shenanigans drawn. I'd also love to see edling's bickering! Like in ch2 when Ling calls Ed gege and how "obviously?? you think i can obviously beat Armstrong??" and Ed gets flustered over it. Or before that when Ling says "this is what I get for defending my boyfriend?" and Ed also gets flustered. Or literally anything from ch1 when they're still finding their footing.

Shenanigans. I wanna see shenanigans. And also sillies!! All of edling's cute and casual little intimacies, ED KISSING LING'S CHEEK IN CH2?? WHEN THEY HOLD HANDS WHILE WALKING THROUGH GLUTTONY'S STOMACH??? I WANT. I WAAAAANT

[hearteyesmcgarrett]

is it weird to just answer the ask meme questions without actual asks? probably, but i want to yell about fandom shit rn so you can't stop me

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. its obvious that im in a grimm fixation rn, so i have to say nick/monroe as a romantic ship (or nick/monroe/rosalee), and the whole gang as a platonic relationship. For SGA, i'm always a mcshep fan but i honestly enjoy any pairing of AR1. Anyone that has followed me for an extended period of time knows that im a mcdanno (H50) and leverage ot3 truther as well.

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind. hmm, not sure? OH some folks doing the sga kinkmeme have mentioned john/cam and im very intrigued

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will. Rodney/Jennifer :( I love Jennifer, but the writers consistently changed her characterization and that relationship felt forced and weird (SGA)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t. John/Elizabeth. I'm sorry! maybe its just because im gay af but to me their relationship felt like bffs, not romantic (SGA)

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what? I made that stargate cinnamon roll meme, if that counts

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? ~10 years

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it? i'm a multishipper for sure, but one of the first ships i remember really clearly was eric/ryan from csi miami (circa age like 12)

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)? TV!

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? I dont know that it was entirely tumblr, but yeah, Voltron. The fandom was truly fucking awful

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.) uhhhh, like every show tbh. 99% of the shows i watch came from tumblr or online friends

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc? Eliot Spencer (Leverage)

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. hmm, I guess Adalind counts as a character who isnt one of my faves. She's a complex and interesting character, and its clear that a lot of her decisions come from a place of trauma. After having Diana it really shows that she does want to protect her and keep her safe (grimm)

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend. Ronon (SGA), Hardison (Leverage), Teal'c (SG1), etc

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom 1. men showing emotions!!! (grimm does this well, thankfully) 2. on a similar note: depicting how the shit these characters get up to is traumatizing and how that impacts them long term 3. literally any canon queer rep. can we PLEASE have a show like stargate or grimm where one of the characters (especially a man) is canonically queer? is that so hard???

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of? Forfeit by Rise Against always makes me think of ascended Daniel/Jack (SG1). Oh and ever since i saw a gifset with lyrics from it, Timberwolves at New Jersey by Taking Back Sunday makes me think of John (SGA)

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). one of these fuckin days i am going to write a baseball SGA AU

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why. As previously mentioned: Voltron because the fan base was toxic and awful

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom? all my favorite fandoms are themed around found family so this is so hard lmao. Nick & Hank (Grimm), Eliot & Harry (Leverage Redemption), Harry & Breanna (LR), Don & Charlie if brothers count (Numb3rs), etc

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon anyone who reads my H50 fics knows that i will fuckin die on the hill that Danny has an anxiety disorder

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?  besides anxious danny, I'd say John having ADHD (SGA), and Monroe being bi (Grimm) are two right off the top of my head

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites 1. Steve McGarrett (H50) - he's been through so much shit, but he's still so damn loyal and protective and kind. He's such a good dude who is just traumatized beyond belief. 2. Charlie Eppes (Numb3rs) - besides the fact that i am CONVINCED he has ADHD, he's just so fucking loving and passionate about his work and the people he loves. he balances out the hardness of Don and the gang with the sheer size of his heart 3. Eliot Spencer (Leverage) - basically the same reason as steve. I have a type.

V - Which character do you relate to most? this is tough. probably Daniel (SG1) - esp early seasons - because of similar worldviews and interests and personalities, and Danny (H50) because of similar personalities

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom. MISCOMMUNICATION!! its so frustrating.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom. im a big ol softie so i love stuff like mutual pining, hurt/comfort, etc.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms Good Omens is a big one rn lmao. I've read the book but haven't watched the show. Also, Daredevil probably. I watched at least the first season years ago, but haven't seen anything beyond that. I still enjoy seeing people's posts about it and i read fic sometimes

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! im so cranky rn about the lack of depiction of trauma/mental illness/neurodivergence/etc in fandoms where its to be expected. like with Grimm rn, you give Nick PTSD and sensory enhancements but then suddenly forget about them?? that's not how that works! Or why is it always just hinted at that characters are ND? why is it so hard to just be like 'yeah no x has ADHD (or whatever)'? i want to be able to actually have complex/tough/interesting/etc protags that are ALSO neurodiverse. if we're all reading John as having ADHD (SGA) or Parker being autistic (leverage) anyways, why can't these things just be intentionally part of the character

[the-official-account]

I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THERE'S A NEW EPISODE HERE'S 26 LIVEBLOG BABEEEEYYYY

my podcatcher is cool and great and open source and ad free and all that shit but I haven't set up my notifications good and because this is my first episode as they come out (my inner fanatic is all grown up) im not used to the schedule but HHHASD;LPIG AHIP'LSF AG THE WAY I SCREEEEEAMED AND ACTUALLY DANCED FOR JOY HERE WE GO!!!!!

oh opening music my beloved. Oh shit I got so obsessed with Blorbos I briefly forgot exactly where we are in the story. Coping mechanism (slash joking slash lighthearted) im 👀👀👀👀 very hyped bery concerned

"you need to be making eye contact to be frozen" means it's vry easy to free spar!!! ahhh so they somehow duplicated the pendants....or found more??

BACKUP THINGS 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 IM ON DESKTOP AND I CAN ONLY HAVE ONE EMOJI COPIED TO MY CLIPBOARD AT AT TIME ASJKDLHFASDFH

also the title of this episode is making me excited

Ila's stress about spar's condition is such a mood

THIS TELEKENISIS NECKLACE THING IS SO BANGER.

ooh. oof. this drive. CRIT?????? NICE FUCK. WHEW.

SUUCESSED THE FUCK OUTA THAT.

Voracity fucking sucks sorry about your lineage bestie i do hope you die though

SPAR BALANCED HALWAYD ON A CATWALK, FROZEN, SNUGGLED UP TO AN AWFUL AWFUL VAMPIRIC ASSHOLE UHHHH

......that joker.

OH I FORGOT VELLUM CAN TELEPORT FOR A SEC with the power of looking INCREDIBLY sexy. I like this plan I'm feeling good about this plan

Jordan's clearly plotting some shit and i am HERE for it

"normally you are not conscious during it" NORMALLY???

Spar depersonalization crash course. OH WAIT NO SPAR STEVEN UNIVERSE MOMENTS. IM OBSESSED????

viscious spar.....hmmm......im making a face it's not a great face LASDFALHFAHS

I love that spar's first thing is to just get the gist of what he's got going on <3 LJSADFLKJAHSDJFKHASD HE GOES TO VELLUM A;LKSDFLJSHDFLJSADGFLJSHADFKAHSDFKLASDF SCOOBY DOO ASS LOVE BIRDS

Oh shit is Vellum gonna think spar is fucking dead???? VORACITY GOES TOPPLING WHICH IS HILARIOUS BUT SPAR TOO??????? HOLY SHIT????? LMAO????

we are thirteen minutes in.

IF YOU DIE IN YOUR BODY YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE ALKSDJF;LAKSDJFASKLD;FJALSDFJ

Essay protesting Voracity's stats is such a mood. What if...what if ya jus didn???

As spooky as this whole situation is, the mental image of spar having royallllly biffed it is sending me

Okay when I was very young, I used to play chess with a younger sibling of mine. And I did this thing where I would just take one rook and systematically go around capturing all their pawns because they didn't know how to protect them, while just kinda giggling. And that's the energy ipswitch is bringing right now, tkaing out all their backup.

EIGHT FUCKING CARDS

AD;ISFLG;ALKDSGASLDFK RING TOSS SITIONATION wasn't jakub with ipswitch? or going to him? and yeahhhh lunevella is an important ally.

Diamond? friend? mmmmmmmmmmmmnahhhh

YEAH LUNAVELLA!!!! MASSIVE WITCH LADY COME IN CLUTCH!

nooo fuck PLEASE dont make it diamond please please please LUNEVELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA lesbiamb...YEAS

I forget what beloved does but mechanical nonsense is my favorite

NO SUCESSES ONE JOKER there are not emojis on this computer that describe...you know that one image of the hot cook guy from Queer eye looking traumatized? that.

"I'm having fun being a useless ghost boy" VALID i am also having fun. sometimes in a ttrpg you just wanna be/add to the problem for a bit!!! And that's ok

Voracity being pissed about being launched off the catwalk is SO Funny.

"so I could accomplish my goal without violence" BITCH YOU THREATENED TO MURDER SEVREAL-----FJHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NO NO NO VORACITY ISNT ALLOWED TO CRIT LEAVE VELLUM ALOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!

oh shit but vellum's turn now.......kick them back off!!!!!! asjdhfakjsdhfasdkflakdhf

TAEKWONDO!! switching instantly for a drive does seem like a good balance I like that mechanic

god I love my gay rule-abiding detectives who for some reason keep trying to fight the ONE being that EVERY rule is like don't fucking fight for the love of god do not fight them for the LOVE OF

"I imagine that vellum gets a cat stance, which is like an L stance" i know there is more informaiton here but my brain has already shifted into the "someone i know is talking about something they love and i understand very little of what's happening here but I'm just excited to listen" mode. But no i do need to know what cat stance is because this is so art in my brain. ill look it up later.

im so *chinhands*

OOOOOH BUT THIS DESCRIPTION IS SO GOOD i CAN SEE IT IN MY BRAIN SO WELL OOOOHAS;DFHKLASEHFASKDFHA VELLUM IS SO COOL

there are no ascii emojis for doing a silly stupid little happy stim but that's what's happening

oh shit luna can fly!

Lune deserves to be condescending to her enemies, she's dealt with so much bullshit.

Ooof we have the AA and now the bramble guard with MOTORCYCLES????? ugh!!! organizations!!!!! Lore!!!!!!!! im swooning. there is nothing sexier in my mind that good worldbuilding

tatiana related plans but not htis episode 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀????

yeah lmao fuck diamond.

okay but in my brain Desdemona was suuuuuuper pretty. Oh no!!! Don't make her endearing!!!!!!!

(sweetly) "So uhhh, people of cindershore as you can see....we have the people of theee passion fruit festival held hostage <3"

THEY WANTED TO DO THIS NON VIOLENTLY god fuck i hate fucking misinformation goddamn.

"side with crystallis of againse you own wellbeing" bestie how is that fucking nonviolent?????

"get your gummy jello fingies in here" hello i am uncomfortablleeee AHSDL;FHASDFHADJSFLHAKDSFJH

TERRORIST TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

I like to imagine that Kit's comments was ipswitch being genuinely helpful

oh god. there was a SPLIT second moment when my entirely world lit up with the GLEE that was Voracity biffing it off the catwalk again.

vellum pulls them...up? NOOO I MEAN THATS SMART BUT AHHHHH IM STAKING THE PROTAGONISTS LIKE A MIRACA (how the FUCK do you spell this im pretty sure i knew that) STOP PUTTING YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY AHHHHHHHHHH

i swear to GOD the host have an uncanny ability to say the joke i was thinking and I think we've just all got the same internet brain rot. my FIRST thought here was "None successes? left beef." and there we go. no funny left for the rest of us.

oooh what's jakub up to

WITCH TIME WITCH TIME WITCH TIME

"leave diamond where they are" you know, cause fuck em.

LUNA VELLA COMING IN FRIGGGGGING CLUTCH.

"Lunavella casts a spell that was taught to her by tara. Lunavella later taught it to jasper, who used it to talk to a god at a very crucial time"

the VOLUME at which i just sais "HUH?????" is IMMENSE.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? HELLP???? NO DONT MOVE ON HELLO??? HI! hIS I HAVE QUESTIONS?

Did jasper do the untethering???? Did jasper PERSONALLY speak to mommy magic???? Is that was Tara did to sacrifice her connection to magic for Merim & Josepha's freedom????? what...what does this mean....

SHE'S TALKING TO KRONOSAVA SHE CALLED THIS RELIC'S FUCKING PARENT. SHE SAID SHE'S GOING TO THE MANAGER. AJSHDFAJSHDFLKAJSHDF

An animatronic giant....HMMMMMM

okay but what is the triple threat if not just a small, minimalist mech suit?

"oh i do like information" "I know!!! Me to!!!" Oh my god they're suchhhh fucking nerds i fucking love them HASKLDJHFASDHFAKDJLFH GET ME TO A CLOSET.

AND JAKUB BLUSHES. AND OF COURSE IPSWITCH DOESN'T NOTICE CAUSE ITS IPSWITCH. THIS IS CUTE AS FUCK

I WANNA TRY TO POSSESS VORACITY Spar has been a ghost for like 2 minutes, and he was already like "When in rome!!!"

Kronosava manifests as a NINE FOOT TALL CLOCKWORK PERSON WITH MANY CLOCK FACES OF IMPOSSIBLE GEOMETRY????? COOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL FUCKING RAD RAD RAD

Spar's ALONE with the TIME GOD al;jsdflkasdjfasdjlf

he did NOT just introduce himself....holllly shit lmaooo. "those who may be frozen by my eye are unworthy by my sight" oh so Spar is like. Time daddy's favorite blorbo. This makes sense to me. or maybe somewhat.

KRONOS SAY YALL KINDA SUCK SO I MADE YA DIE, CAUSE FUCK EM

Spar is NOT fucking out logicing this GOD im So here for this. fuck em up bestie FUCK EM UP!!!!!!

imagine your last name being considered by the GOD OF TIME now that's what I call clout.

"relative innocence" yeahhhhh. peace and lvoe on the planet earth, but emphasis on "on the planet earth"

Mayor lipton is the mayor of cindershore.

Okay I understanbd this scene im loving the vibes but MERIM FELSPAR THE SECOND IS NOOOOOTTTTT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM MR. TIME DADDY!!! He can't awnser for the crime and bigroties of Extra #8 and 13

YOU MAKE A GODDEX CHUCKLE that line will be living in my brain as something that can be so symbolism

I....I...I don't like this. wow i HATE how fast spar just traded off year of his fucking life span noooooo. fuck. fuck. fuckity fuck fuck fuck im in distress. ughhhhhh spar being spar.......I will have thoughts but first I need to sigh a lot ......Ugh.

but also fuck the gods im not vibing with this barter situation. is it good for the plot YES is deicide always an aspiration of mine also yes

"it feels like licking a battery with your hand' oooh mental sensory imaginings not good but very very cool

Like sourpatch kids watermelon flavor colorscheme.

*sadly, with hesitation* midtro dance midtro dance....

guhhhh spar....Spar why. Like I understand the choice but that was SO fast. HE DIDNT THINK ABOUT IT AND THAT'S WHAT I --UGHHHHHH

happy late birthday to essay!

ESSAY PLEASE STOP ASTRALLY PROJECTING PLACES ALSDFL;ASHFDLASHDFLKASF

Spar is a snacker and habituatally hands people snacks to keep them sustained.

God yall are just begging for me to write a communion (slash literary term related to chrstian, not christian practice itself. for as much as i say the words lord and god i like barely know who jesus is) fic....soon my toils will be over and my backlog will sing so my like the sirens lulling me away from an approaching storm, so instead my hyperfixation can crash violently upon the rocks and. it. will. be. GLORIOUS.

VELLUM WON A LEETLE KEETY <3<3<3

KIT CAME OUT SWINGING WITH THIS????? ....HUH????? BESTLJHAS;DIFHASDHFASJDFALKDSFKJASF. KIT SAID "IPSWITCH LOOKS AT SOME GAY SHIT END OF SENTENCE" IM DEAD. Im just imaginging Jakub looking at the performers, and at ipswitch, and at the performers, and in his head he's like "why does he look contemplative?"

Xbala, hilde, grey, anya play shoots and ladders at the safe house while knowing Spar, Vellum, ip, Jakub, and Luna are risking their lives fighitng voracity....that was me typing for speed but "Ip" as a nickname is really cute imo.

*much more enthusiatic end of midtro dance*

ILA I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOOD NEWS. DODGE IS ONE. AH. OH NO. HHHHH.

i made i sound like ID been bitten. Voracity. Rancid bestie, what if we like....didnt...

LIASDFASDJFASDF VELLUM'S BLOOD TASTES WIERD?????

*A deep sigh as I realize by having Beloved as a ultimate Vellum is, in fact, another self-sacrificial blorbo for the lot.*

Oh fuck he's so determined and valliant but i want him to STOP.

People should be reinvigorating and spar should be around soon??? im....spoooked. I know being unconcious isn't the end of the world though....

I think some of the gumw as given to Anya and may not have ever been returned? Which i only mention as a brief note for efforts and because these eps are recorded long ahead of time: i aint a snitch

spar to the recsue <3 <3 <3 king I'm imagining spar like Baseball-sliding in, swinging the sword like he's going to a home run, in slow motion. It's VERY cool.

SPAR IS AJUDSHLKJSAHGFKLJSADFGHAS THIS IS FO FUNNY I FUCKING LOVE THIS.

OHHHHH JUST ONE SHORT.

OH. OH SHIT. OH. PLEASE FLIP GOOD OH MY GOD. ID WOULD BE SCREAMING BUT IF I START SCREAMING i CAN'T HEAR.

AHHHHH;LFRGHA jumped so hard I pulled my chair up off the floor and keysmashed irrespocibly enough to put my compter to sleep. I'm SO normal.

The Animaation of this that exists in my brain through. Vellum gets bitten and Voracity reals back enough for you to see, between their faces, spar sprinting towards them reaching for his sword. The Camera whips to a side angle for spar's baseball swing. Slice! Spray of blood as vellum gets up a bit. Shot from below spar's chin to show his determined face and the long line of his arm and Bang! Bang! They all drop until his gun clicks empty. As there's a zoom in on the bat going for the window. One last bang and as Spar looks down the Camera does too, to show Vellym propped up on one arm holding His derringer high for a beat before his arms fall when he slumps in relief and he just smiles as ash rains down around them. Spar falls to his knees, and vellum slides over to kiss him...augh. AUGH!

Spar with a subtle scar over his hear that after 26 is raised and more obvious. For you know. Eventual shiftless art that WILL happen

Oh shit Jakub's getting a fucking promotion, huh?

LKJUAHSFGKJAHSKDFAHSDFKLASD IPSWITCH FINDS TERRORISM TAX FRAUD EVIDENCE I LOOOVE THAT FOR HIM OH MY GODDD <3.

Okay but Jakub being attracted to that is SO dorky and i love them and they're such sillyy guyssss. IPSWITH STARTLES.

"i have one more thing to end on!" [the episode has twnety minutes left]

Governor thorn middle ages. violet haired. carries a spear. CLEARLY need to pack her ass up and fuck off before she messes with Hilde, Anya, Grey and Xbala. I was only gonna mention my favoirites out of that grpup but not yeah they're all good. So throne need to like. go. I don't trust this.

"What's this about? how do you know where this is?" GOOD QUESTIONS.

FUCK. OFF. UNDER ARREST FOR WHAT. BITCH?

NO. NO. YOU DONT GET TO FUCKING END CREDITS MUSIC AFTER THAT FUCK YOU. FUCK OFF. WHAT. WHAT?

What.

i HEARD KEVIN AND I ACTUALLY GASPED. ITS MY FAVORITE CRINGEFAIL KING!!!!

CATBOY ASCE!!!!!!

OH WAIT im realizing....If SUITS has been abolished that Spar did retire after all, huh? Huh. Good for not having to report info about clovenheart. BAD news for whatever the fuck is happening to jack. Interesting news for Vellum's blood theirvery theories. And damn, I just sort of assumed Mayor Thorne was just like...Good Guy(TM) until....well until chapter 3 of tempest and teapots yesterday. God i love stories where things only get bigger. crunchy as hell.

THEY HAVE TO BOTH WEAR HIS CLOTHES STACKED ASJLDFALSDJFADF

I'm in love with Asce's himbo ass, he should NOT be enabling this and YET.

Iris has jury duty and then she's getting a massage and then she's going to therapy and then doing her therapy homework: considering new employment.

DOES CASEDYWM FUCKING STICK THEM IN HIS ACTUAL POCKET??????? OH NO.

ARE THEY JUST GONNA KEEP THE PIXIES IN HIS POCKET THE WHOLE TIME?

"I just need to know whose on top and whose...whose...whose the legs" Ah, when nature denies us our low hanging fruit

oh god I hope asce is left handed because otherwise Caedyn';s hand is occupied and Asce only has access to his non dominant hand

SDLFASDFAJSDFLASDF "I DONT KNOW HOW IT HELPS BIT I WANT IT"

"IS CADEWYN'S noSE PIECED" "IT IS NOW"

ASDKJFA;LSDJFASDF FUCK

added together they look like a great mintaur, yeah!! If someone shakes their head back and forth very fast

peer pressure confusion...sweet jesus.

JSADLFJALKDSFJAS just look abnormnal and blend in!!! This stratedgy would work in many of my social circles to be fair.

Not CALHOUN (just finished reading the 1619 project, that's the last name of the probably most cartoonishly evil & racist person in that entire book. Which, if anything, makes this mor funny for me

HE GIVES CADEWYN MORE ALCOHOL. NOOOO LMAOOOOOO

A BRILLIANT TACTICAL PLAY YOU'RE NOT HIGH LEVEL ENOUGH TO GET FULL DETAILS ON.

I was gonna make a joke about xbala getting arrested in the background but then it hit me: anya is a defense lawyer. A defense lawywer who already fucking hates Thorn. A defense lawyer who already hates thorn who has made up with spar and befriended Xbala and in all likelyhood has the support of the Harrington's behind her. She might. She might fuck it up. Take no prisoners, but like, the opposite way that's usually meant. still just as fuckign rad tho. my brain is turning. rotating like a microwave plate. mmmmmmmmm.

That scene was so funny though. cherry on top of a wonderful episode. i have...i have things to consider.

@threeheartscast @citrusandsalt @ilaalexei

[chordsykat]

I've been thinking about this for a minute on how to develop Nathan's character more and thought about how his prophetic dreams could've been building up, correctly predicting, and becoming more disturbing since season three.

The climax happens in Prankklok (I changed it around again) where the band aside from Pickles and Nathan, are beefing with each other and they're planning they're friender-bender to get away from it all.

Nathan hasn't opened up about his prophetic dreams to Pickles due to fears it won't make sense and you know...Gay.

It bites him in the ass hard and now not only is everybody mad at each other, but they're also pissed at Nathan for destroying the album and now they're forced to work together again.

UHHHh OHHHHH Claudia's awoken the lore-dragon that loves to hoard this kind of stuff in my brain -- let's do this :D

I think the prophecy/world ending/the Doomstar/Falconback/Salacia has all been in the works since the beginning, but yeah -- it really picks up steam at the end of Season 2 and beginning of Season 3. Similarly, Nathan's always been one for having weird dreams and visions, but that too, becomes aggressively prophetic as the series goes on. I think your vision for how this all goes down fits well into the canon, and I have a strong feeling that the end will pay-off, similarly.

Popular fan-theory would have you believe, when "Some Days Are For Dying" picks up with that 'second voice' on the first verse, it's Nathan talking:

Feels like it’s Deconstructing The powers of my words They mean fucking nothing

He's clearly frustrated about the state of things. The world's ending and he's hitting writer's block -- which seems to also happen more frequently as the series goes on. Starting Tuesday, you'll see that I even have it as a central dilemma for him in Dethkomic.

And why is Nathan having writer's block such a problem? Well, as you said and as the clues in canon seem to be pointing to -- Nathan's at the heart of the writing process for the band, and without him, the "right message" won't arrive in time to stop whatever it is that's going to tear the world apart. Ishnifus pointed out Nathan destroyed the record because "it was the wrong message", and though the show is great at throwing red herrings our way, most of us don't believe that was one of them.

Anyway. Poor guy's not gonna tell his bandmates about this (because yeah, gaaaaay... but... they're really scary and what if they come true?) so he's going to look like the bad guy in that sense, or at least a wishy-washy artist. "The Ocean Galaktik" and its themes of visions, being in the water, etc. is relevant to this entire topic, and a lot of us think these words, specifically, are about Nathan needing to find those lyrics:

See the world below reform Speak the words and call the storm

I think most of all, the Galaktikon II album has a lot of central themes pointing to the band needing to unify in their final stand aganst the forces of evil. A lot of this has to do with Salacia's power taking hold of Murderface, I'm sure, but more to the point -- I don't think these powers the boys are saddled with will work if they're separated. So your ideas for pushing them back together again too, should see good returns when the story wraps. :)

Always fun to discuss this stuff. But woo. Sorry for the length in that response. :D

[lesbianrobin]

(i just wanna preface this with uhhh i know this is a Very stupid ask but you're one of like three people whose thoughts on ST actually matter to me) i was scrolling through twitter which. i Know is already unwise and i brought this onto myself but i saw a tweet that was like "i love steve but im gonna start villainizing him in rnance fics the way ppl villainize nancy in stddie fics bc i love women more than him" and like. idk if its just My experience but as someone who's read a multitude of steddie fics since july in like 90% of them nancy is written as a perfect badass ultrasmart amazon goddess lol + idk maybe im too sensitive but something abt this being said in the context of rnance when uhhhh. in what world would robin choose nancy over steve just really. idk it made me upset fjskdme i know its not that deep but sometimes i feel like the ppl who get so up in arms abt nancy being constantly mistreated r blowing like. a small part of the fandom out of proportion. anyways i shld delete Twitter and i hope this ask doesn't make your day worse peace and love <3

ur good fkvjdjcjd i'm just sorry you experienced twitter 💔 but yeah i personally haven't rly seen nancy villainized in any stddie fics besides like one or two of those weirdo gross modern aus where the person obviously just hops from fandom to fandom slapping new names on their fetishistic gay fanfic. yknow. i hope that makes sense bc idk how else to describe that category of fic.

anyway nancy's depiction in like almost every single st fic i've ever read has been as a super-smart badass who always knows best so idk what that person's been reading. i feel like people talk ab nancy being hated in fandom a lot but i think i am maybe the most outspoken nancy hater on tumblr and i don't even like Hate her we just have a toxic on and off relationship and my friends keep telling me to end it but i believe that i can fix her

[existentialflirt]

tag 10 people you want to get to know better

favorite color(s): purples and reds (though I can't wear a large amount of red because I have a pink undertone in my skin and it just doesn't reflect well). Personally, I wear too much black but black isn't a colour but the absence of it. Or it's all of them. I can never remember the difference between black and white anymore in that sticky colour wheel way. song stuck in your head: uhhhh......I've had Boy Harsher's Pain stuck in my head off and on since Thursday night. last song you listened to: Gay Bar // Electric Six (yeah, yeah I think they're kinda cringe these days, but honestly, I'm not sure they were ever not cringe.) dream trip: Europe now that I'm not a dumb kid experiencing culture shock. Alternately, I'd like to go to one of the other Disney parks (listen, I'm not a lame Disney adult, I'm a cool and hip and clinically depressed over how they've destroyed Epcot). Really they've been laying waste to the American parks over the past several years and I wonder if the other ones have retained thematic integrity like do not get me started I need someone to fucking explain Galaxy's Edge to me. It's just this gorgeous waste of space. anything i want rn: my hair to grow faster because I am unwell and my current hair aesthetic that I'm trying to ape requires it to be at least shoulder length. add on: So like I'm so tired of the modern conceit that SOCIAL MEDIA IS EVIL AND DESTROYING OUR COLLECTIVE MENTAL HEALTH. It's so much more complicated than that.. The concept of the internet is not inherently evil, it's just that unregulated capitalist greed had transformed it into the horror show it currently is. Blame the machine that is grinding everything into a fine powder, mashing it into a paste, and feeding it back to us. Of course everything's starting to taste shitty.

(wow sorry to end it on a downer)

tagged by: @overclocks tagging: idek idek I'm so bad at this. if you see this do it and tag me in it.

[lostonehero]

It's pride time

YouTube Micheal, let's gooooo

Micheal smiles again. He doesn't understand why his Uncle Henry wants him to stream today. He hasn't since they talked. But the man seemed excited and happy and had a surprise, so he had to surprise his audience too.

He was also told to dress up in casual clothes, something fun and happy. It's kind of hard to do when you're a living corpse. He cringed wearing the shorts and t-shirt Henry got him. Even people with severe eating disorders aren't this skinny, so Henry also had to get him a custom belt. Micheal isn't one to show off skin, not anymore, at least.

The shirt was a little too baggy and hung on his skeletonal frame like a curtain. He grimaced, turning on the camera. "Hey everyone, I know surprised livestream, actually at Uncle Henry's, I mean our place, I guess. But yeah, I know I'm wearing casual clothes, well summer clothes." He scratches the back of his head nervously. "I can't actually see chat right now, so I don't know what's going on, but Henry got something planned."

He hums, taking the camera deeper inside. "Forgive the mess. we just finished the new bathroom, and we are putting stuff inside." It's barely a few cardboard boxes stacked neatly together. "Anyway, it should be right through here"

A bright flash and then confetti and glitter fall all over Micheal. A rainbow sign flutters with the ceiling fan reading. "Happy Pride, Micheal." It's raining men is playing in the background.

"Happy June pride, Micheal. I guess since your father wouldn't have approved... actually, I have no idea if he was fine with this or not, but it is not important. You deserve Pride with family who support you."

"Uncle Henry..." Micheal places the camera down crooked so it catches Micheal tackling the old man in a hug. "I love it, but I'm not that type of gay. I'm more of what you would call a Halloween gay. Not to say I don't like the rainbows. Henry, you're the best."

Henry chuckles. "If you weren't dead, I would say you need to put meat on those bones, but I'm glad to see you happy. Now come on, I have activities for your fans."

Micheal smiles, pulling the stitching in his lips. "You're gonna make me bust a seam." He looks like he could cry if he had working tear ducts.

Henry pulls a chair and fixes the camera. "You're going to educate this old man on the queer culture."

Micheal nods. "Ok ok only because the livestream needs to be longer than 10 minutes, and more so you did all this." He pauses seeing Henry already set up his chat in the corner. "You lying old man you already set up my chat?"

"I'm very handy with electronics, Micheal. Now, now, no more stalling. Let's get to questions." Henry smiles watching Micheal read chat.

Micheal shakes his head and leans back. "Alright, Uncle Henry, go ahead."

"Ok, first question, when did you know?"

Micheal smiles. "Ah, don't hate me for this, Charlie, your daughter when we were kids. I was what 9, or 10. She gave me my first kiss and told me that we were going to end up together. You know, kid stuff like playing house or whatever. I realized that oh no, I don't want to be with a girl... granted, I didn't really understand that feeling until I got older, but that was the start." He stops. "Ah wait sorry I didn't mean to make you cry."

"Happy tears, Micheal, happy tears. Ok ok next one. This one was requested by a fan."

"Mmh? You talked to my fans? Didn't really know I had that many you could ask."

"Micheal, don't be modest. Ok, what kind of guys are you into?"

"Uhhhh huh, I mean I haven't been able to do much, but my preference, but I like guys as tall as me and muscular hairy or not. I'm not picky... maybe I am, I am like 6ft2in." He pauses. "Alright, Uncle Henry, I have one for you before you continue." He sees chat go wild.

"Ok, go ahead, Micheal." Henry smiles. He looks truly happy, like he's having a family thing that nobody could ever take from him.

"Have you ever kissed a man?" Micheal smiles, it's a softball question, but he didn't want to push his uncle to say or do anything too much.

"I mean a few in college.... oh yeah, after one crazy night in college after I met your father. We went on a drinking bend together, and he wanted to show an American a true British experience of pubs, and well, I don't really recall what happened, neither does him, but we did wake up together and I was wearing his underwear... don't recall how we got back to the dorms to do that."

Micheal takes a breath for his nonexistent lungs. "You had a one night stand with my father?"

"I mean, technically, yeah, huh, we did then sorry Margaret, I guess I did cheat on you once." Henry chuckles. "College was a wild time, oh yeah you never had that experience I'm sorry Micheal."

"Just ask the next question..." Micheal sighs, giving a look even with his white eye and missing eye that says if I could drink to forget I would.

Henry smiles and pats Micheal on the back. "Ok, did you ever have the chance to lose your as the kids would say get your cherry popped?"

Micheal buries his face in his rotten hands. "You're doing this on purpose." He can feel Henry smile as if to say this is punishment for your self punishing behavior, and the fact you found the old animotronics and begged for them to finish you off in a depressive haze 10 years ago. "Yes, I was 17. We had no idea what we were doing. It was messy and uncomfortable, but somehow good. I dunno it was at that carnival that later got condemned like the next season."

"Oh, I remember taking Charlie there a long time ago. Don't know how any of us thought that place was safe." He pulls Micheal back up to sit up straight.

They continue to talk and chatter again, Micheal relaxing, talking about how he came out of the closet, and how he found peace with himself.

By the end, the sky was growing dark out, and Micheal was giggling again.

"Alright, last question for the end of the stream."

"Ok, Uncle Henry, give me your best shot, but it can't be worse than the earlier ones." Micheal smiles.

"What's a GILF? Your chat keeps calling me one." Henry smiles an innocent smile Micheal didn't want to destroy. "Come on, kid, we've both seen things. You can't be embarrassed by this."

Micheal swallows the nonexistant lump in his throat. "I uh wait." He has his finger on end stream. "Before we cut GILF means..." He whispers it in Henry's ear then shuts the stream off.

[the-hornknee-parasite]

Name? Probably have one of those around here call me fucking uhhhh Eugene for sure, Romeo for fun, maybe Whiskey I guess for now? I'll add more later once I collect enough I like. All pronouns.

Alive 22 years screaming

I will refer to myself having a cock a cunt tits and ass. Don't lose your mind. Let me fuck it out of you <3

No horny DMs. Not gonna actually fulfill every one of your dirty little secrets. Just gonna build a persona to do it for you. I'm a big science guy like that. Fags for Stem.

Wanna be horny in asks? Yeah for sure, go for it. It will be public and I will not be sorry :)

This shit isn't gonna be aesthetic, sorry bout it

Also adults only, obviously, seriously kids/teens (18 and 19 you're on thin ice but you can stay for now) and ageless blogs I don't wanna see y'all around here. Respect my boundaries or you'll be blocked and maybe even hexed I dunno

Not all of my stuff is going to be 100% good. I'm writing for myself BUT I will tag shit cause that's important. I hate tag evaders. Let people interact with spicy shit without spending them into a panic attack, cool? Cool.

I'll add more shit if I think about it but for now, hey. Hope you enjoy the absolute mess of horny thoughts that live in my cunt brain <3

Lesbians I love you, gays I love you, queers I love you, trans loves you are my heart, my holes are intersectional babes don't worry bout it <3

[spocks-husband]

I finally made it to season three of Picard, so as I said I would to a very very good friend who happens to be quite important to the creation of this show (🤭) I am gonna live blog the first episode and possibly others! So yeah let's go :3

-i love the ink spots dude this soundtrack goes so hard

-OMG ITS BABYGIRL BEVERLEY

-Shes so cheekbones

-omg she has a gun yasss

-OHH MY GOD NO THEY SHOT BABYGIRL

-erm that phaser rifle is NOT set to stun 🤓☝🏽

-can I ask why this whole opening scene is made up of like two colors--

-OOH NEW TITLE SEQUENCE HELLO??

-i want a painting of the 1701-D in my house :(

-little Bajoran statue on his desk..... That's there specifically for me......

-THE FLUTE OH MY GOD

-i love my beautiful boyfriend Jean-Luc

-omg I know the computer voice she's my favorite person ever 🤭🤭

-THE old uniform omg I'm screaming

-the lighting is giving sub rosa for some reason

-that was very cryptic Beverly are you fucking your grandma's old ghost boyfriend again

-why would she cut them off?? That's. Very odd

-its been two seasons of this already but can I ask why the Romula OH MY GOD SHE KISSED MY BOYFRIEND

-GET OFF HIM YOU FREAK HES MINEEEE

-RAHHH

-sorry I'm normal I promise

-AGGGHHHH WILL IS SO HOT

-The fat ones help 😭😭

-if they make Deanna and Will fight I will LOSE MY SHIT

-i'm so glad will is gonna be actually relevant in this season I missed him sm 😭

-this reminds me of the Orion bar on Nimbus III that you go to for that one mission in Star Trek Online that I can't beat lmao

-does being able to recognize and distinguish different star trek alien scripts make me a nerd ☹️

-SEVEN AND RAFFI BROKE UP????

-broooo

-i wasn't all that attached to them actually it's fine

-why is everyone having a mental breakdown and it's only episode one 💀

-i wanna have my bones crunched by a hot Orion man........ He's so green and beautiful.........

-earth space dock is a lot quieter outside STO lmao

-neo constitution?????

-OMGGGG HI SEVENNN

-making seven use her human name when she pretty explicitly doesn't like that is sooo cute........ I don't trust this new captain.......

-OMG GEORDI'S BABY??????

-NOOOOOO OH MY GODDD I'M LOSING IT

-is geordi not gay. Is that not actually canon. Did I make that up. I think I made that up.

-wathcing Jean-Luc and Will harass each other is my favorite thing so far

-New captain is kinda hot unfortunately ☹️

-Oh god and he's an asshole. That's my type. Oh God. Oh no.

-dude I can't stand this man. But also I need him.

-"bragging rights" will please

-everytime Jean-Luc gets something about modern starfleet wrong and embarrasses himself I contemplate suicide

-DUDE THIS GUY SUCKS

-"ACTUAL OFFICERS"??? DUDEEEE

-fuck this guy actually

-THE EX-BORG COMMENT??? HOLY SHITTTT KILL YOURSELFFF

-nvm he's not hot anymore he was mean to my boyfriend

-raffi needs help dude is she okay 😭

-13 COURT MARIAL LEVEL OFFENSES???? DUDEEE

-Uhhhh what's up with this. Handler thing.

-the warrior comment made me think Klingon but that's probably very very wrong lmao

-AWWW THEY GOT BUNK BEDS!! They're having a sleepover :3

-angry Will is really really hot. Sorry. Sorry. I'll leave.

-seven is so cool I'm losing it

-OH OMG OMG SEVEN COMMITTED MUTINY THATS SO SILLY YESSS

-yeah no I can't stand this guy

-OLD MEN COMMITING CRIMESSS

-The special effects in this show are so bomb I actually don't care what you all are going to say, you have no whimsy and joy

-OH FUCK THAT STARFLEET BUILDING JUST HOLY SHIT NOW ITS COMING OUT OF THE SKY HELLOO????

-Jonathan Frakes has never done anything wrong in his life and I'm obsessed with him

-will stop playing with the cremated remains

-i'm so tired of British people dude

-YEAHHH BEAT HIS ASS WILL aw he's done nvm...

-HER WHAT???? HER HUH????? HELLO????

-oh that ship is totally fine and not terrifying at all

Overall rating, 9/10. Very solid.