#but with a brief break for eps 1-3 of season two what i really wanted was for izzy to get away from ed and ed to get away from izzy because
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the man did surprise me i have to give him that.
djenks does not feel like he's writing specifically for my 17 year old self the way tamsyn muir or nd stevenson do but he does fall into the category of writers i trust to mostly share my sensibilities and interests and have something interesting to say about the project of being a person. tbh while i think it is actively good and healthy to read and watch things that are not the product of people who share my sensibilities and interests there is something really enjoyable about that trust fall. call it clown to clown communication or recognition of communal experiences in art but it's nice it's good. parasocial high fives all around.
#our flag means death spoilers#ofmd s2 spoilers#press says ofmd#me reading a djenks interview where he's like#so izzy is a disgruntled employee and a jilted spouse and also ed's dad#like ok first of all: kinky. bold move#secondly i did not pick up on that. not at all. i'm not embarrassed to admit it izzy is ed's mentor and metaphorical father was not on my#card. love that we can keep it fresh#thirdly did. did you make edizzy shizunfucking#guys help i think he made edizzy shizunfucking#anyway i guess i am sad that izzy died and it was all about ed#anyone who knows me knows i love toxic codependency#but with a brief break for eps 1-3 of season two what i really wanted was for izzy to get away from ed and ed to get away from izzy because#again there are exceptions!#but hm. this was not hot and i just felt bad for him#i'm blowing kisses to all the other toxic codependent fictional character who are either doing it so sexily i hope they never get well#or have me cheering for them to figure out how to be consistently good for each other#i'll always have the twitter recap of season three of people of earth
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how do you think the last ten minutes could have been better set up? because i have Ideas but i’m also a fool. a fool who did feel the pacing of season two was Off and would not at all have expected the kiss at the end had it not been spoiled for me.
i think the last ten minutes had two glaring set-up problems which were 1. it is way too easy to side with crowley in the break up and 2. aziraphale's decision to go back to heaven seems jarring. and sure, you can argue that you're meant to read them as both at fault, and that aziraphale's current character arc does align with his choice. and youd be right. but also if i had done it, it would've been better.
1. too easy to side with crowley (crowley needs to be more at fault)
the scene where crowley goes to heaven and learns about the second coming should've happened in episode 3 while aziraphale was in edinburgh. and crowley shouldve spent the next couple of episodes weighing whether or not he should tell aziraphale about what he knows. this would've continued & escalated the conflict of episode one, as crowley knows that telling aziraphale would spur him into action, but crowley's priority is keeping them and their "peaceful existence" undisturbed.
then in episode 5, i would tweak the sequence that starts with nina calling out crowley. crowley's reaction reads as "oh no i'm in love with aziraphale!" and my tweak is it shouldve been "oh no i can't hide my love for aziraphale anymore. i can't avoid the situation coming to a head any longer". crowley is avoidant. avoids external conflicts (the second coming) & avoids internal conflict (feelings for aziraphale). the ep 5 sequence ends with crowley's same conversation with gabriel and he decides that in order to keep them safe, he has to keep aziraphale in the dark about both things.
having crowley make the choice to not communicate with aziraphale be what indirectly leads to aziraphale accepting the archangel position in heaven would be a more satisfying way to punish crowley for his avoidant tendencies, while also bringing into larger emphasis for the viewer that this is something crowley still needs to work out on a character level, but also for their relationship to progress. then, you don't need the fanfictiony "maggie and nina tell crowley to confess" scene, because the reason why crowley confesses becomes obvious within the breakup scene itself. crowley realizes he caused the situation they're in by avoiding the issue; his next strategy is to force them both to confront the issue directly.
2. aziraphale's decision feels really s1 (establish motivation earlier)
okay the aziraphale fix i'll be more brief about. first of all, say you go the above route. having crowley worry that aziraphale would try to prevent the second coming if he found out about it wouldve helped lay the groundwork of explaining aziraphale's choice. but i wouldve also done the following
the fact that aziraphale really didn't care about maggie and nina getting together until he lied to heaven about it was such a missed opportunity. if aziraphale is insistent that he must and can fix heaven, that could've easily been mirrored though this plot. the aziraphale & maggie scene in episode 1 should've had aziraphale genuinely moved by maggie's plight - instead of brushing her off, he shouldve gotten invested on a personal level. maybe he just wants them to be happy, maybe its made more blatant that he sees the two as parallels for himself & crowley. idk. either way getting them together because of the miracle lie shouldve only been a secondary concern to him. it shouldve been personal. because the plot is all about how, no matter how much aziraphale would like to control the situation and manipulate it into going the way he thinks it ought to go, some things in life are simply beyond your control. but aziraphale can't see that, which would've more blatantly set up his motivation when he makes the choice to go back to heaven. aziraphale cannot reconcile with injustice; yet, in the same way you can't force two people to fall in love, you can't fix heaven.
and honestly? honestly you could tweak more. something you could really tweak for a better set up into episodes 5 & 6, but especially the last ten minutes, is 1941. anyway! can't wait for s3. hope they kiss!
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watch guide follow up: wanna watch everything that makes up canon lore and wanna know which eps need to be viewed (preferrably) one after the other and at which points a long break (in case free time is scarce) is okay and wont cut narrative momentum and all that.
So, just to set the stage...this is a thousand-plus hour series. I watched/listened to Campaign One after it aired pretty aggressively, and it took me 4-5 months; if free time is scarce, this is a pretty monumental task. I don't want to discourage you! But it's a lot, and because of the nature of actual play and the length it's really hard to say what can definitively be skipped within the main campaigns; I don't think most people have flawless episode-by-episode memory and I think people would disagree on some minor points regarding what is crucial to the plot.
To that point: Any existing fans reading this post and who disagree with my notes below are welcome and encouraged to come to my inbox or to make their own posts and tag me if they really want me to weigh in, but I don't think it is helpful to new viewers for there to be tons of conflicting info on this post. Please keep this in mind, thanks!
Anyway, to cover the canon lore:
Story of Vox Machina, a brief summary of the home game (pr-stream) campaign. You could probably skip it and pick things up from context clues, but it's like 20 minutes and provides some background.
Campaign One: Vox Machina (115 episodes although technically really 114). You can skip episode 12 as it's really more of a special but predates them numbering that separately. Because a former cast member who was highly unpleasant and was later found to be the subject of credible allegations of abuse and fraud was present for the first 27 episodes (he left after episode 27), a lot of people do skip them. I would however say that these episodes do contain canon lore and starting with 28 would be abrupt to say the least.
As for points where you can take a break, I'm going to have some advice on memory refreshes/means of not needing too many extended breaks below, but some potential stopping points are:
After episodes 13, 23, 36, 83, and 98. These are roughly where the arcs end anyway; the arc divisions tend to start on the episode with action, so I moved a few episodes that are more of a transition (still lore-relevant) to the top of those arcs if you are taking a break.
Canonical post-campaign one-shots, in order of in-universe chronological occurrence:
The Search for Grog
The Search for Bob
Dalen's Closet
The Darrington Brigade
Campaign Two: The Mighty Nein (141 episodes): The stopping points I would assign are:
After episodes 8, 18, 30 or 31, 47, 61 or 62, 70, 90 or 91, 99 (note - sort of in the middle of an arc but after this was the point of the Covid-19 hiatus, so like...everyone took a 4 month break after this one and so when it picks up it is very good at resetting the stage), 108, 113, 124, and the mid-episode break of 131.
Exandria Unlimited (as of now, the only season thereof), 8 episodes
Campaign Three, ongoing but as of today, 11 episodes.
There are also some specials of debatable canonical status that have not yet mattered to the plot, but if you get the chance, I would recommend watching Song of the Lorelei. It aired as a special after episode 32 of Campaign 2, if you'd like to watch it then; otherwise any time after that episode in your watch should be fine as currently it is standalone but may become relevant in the future.
As for taking breaks/refreshing memory:
I believe everything above - at the very least, all of the main campaigns and Exandria Unlimited - is available in podcast format. I listened to most of Campaign 1 in podcast form, and I've listened to a few episodes of Campaign 2 and 3 rather than watched them (technically I had the video playing, but I was working and therefore only paying attention to audio). I can't say you don't miss anything, but it can be done quite comfortably. So if you are very busy but do still have a commute, or household chores during which you'd normally listen to music or something, I'd do that to keep things fresh.
The Critical Role website has episode recaps and summaries, and for the second campaign, they have very good animated recaps of the arcs in broad strokes. Additionally, there usually is a small recap from Matt, the DM, of the previous few episodes' key events, done at the top of each episode. CritRoleStats live tweets each episode, and as of late has been collecting those tweets onto their site so you can skim that as well. In summary, there are lots of places to refresh your memory should you need to take an extended break.
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My AO3 Fanfiction Links (Current)
“I’ve never really thought about making a “Master List” of my own work but I figured, now is the time to do so. If any of the links are incorrect just let me know. I fix.
Adding in a “keep reading” tab because the list is starting to get long and intense.
Each fic is categorized and easily referenced. I’ll update as I go.
X Files
Series
Into The Shadows
XII (COMPLETE): A serial killer targets victims and leaves behind symbols of his affection -- but who is his intended target and what will it take to discover the truth? (This has a lot of trigger warnings)
Dance In The Dark (ONGOING Chapters 12/? Posted **UPDATED): With the continuing murder trial of Miles, Mulder, Scully, and Max are confronted by the VCU with a case that seems to be mimicking the pattern by their, now infamous, psychopath on trial.
Echoes and Whispers
Parallel (COMPLETE): The aftermath of the three little words that Mulder says to Scully in his hospital bed after being rescued from the Queen Anne as it re-appeared in the Bermuda Triangle...and the strange connection that Scully starts to feel to a memory that Scully couldn't possibly have.
Only The Night (ONGOING): Mulder and Scully begin their undercover assignment as an engaged couple with the assistance of Skinner at the University of Maryland to catch a serial rapist, putting their newly formed physical bond to the test in this sequel to “Parallel”.
Casefics
Falling Away (COMPLETE): Kersh’s assignment partially splits the team as Scully goes undercover under the watchful eye of Mulder as they both assist on an operation with SWAT and FBI personnel. (A gift for Greta)
Veritas se revēlet (COMPLETE): (The title is roughly translated to let the truth be revealed in Latin) An impromptu wild goose chase leads Mulder and Scully to the drifts of a winter-locked Tonopah, Nevada—where a little more than the embodiment of Mulder’s imagination takes shape between the walls of the Mizpah Hotel in the dead of winter. (A gift for @monikafilefan)
She Walks at Night (COMPLETE): Mulder’s knack for getting himself and Scully into sticky situations leads them to the heart of NOLA at the tail end of Hurricane season after barely surviving a Floridian storm—to investigate a rumor of a notable Voodoo Queen and missing girls trying to bring her back. (A gift for @starbuck09256)
Intrigues in the Dark (COMPLETE): A string of suicides leads Mulder and Scully to a sleepy, coastal town in Oregon for the second time—on their return to The X File—as tensions run high and nothing is as it seems. (A gift for @admiralty-xfd)
By Light, Unseen (COMPLETE): A series of re-opened cold case murders with one link…they’d been drained of every drop of blood and wore the same, haunting stare toward the sky with their lips aghast as if they were still screaming. (A gift for @serahsanguine)
Post-Series
A House is Not a Home (COMPLETE): The mere thought of raising a newborn in a world full of horrors has every part of Scully’s emotional irrationality over firing on a chilly, winter evening. Mulder wants nothing more than to show her that not everything is gray and grim. (for @danceswithcybermen)
Remember the Reason (COMPLETE): Post Series (Part 1 of the “Little Redhead Series”). Mulder and Scully already knew that life with a newborn would be difficult but the first Christmas with their two-month-old daughter throws every curveball…some worse than others, some more humorous. (For @underworldobsessed)
Confectioners Sugar & Snow Drifts (COMPLETE): Post Series (Part 2 of the “Little Redhead Series”). Mulder spends the morning bonding with Eliana by having a Christmas baking session while Scully is out shopping for gifts. Messes, mayhem, and a healthy dose of laughter ensue. No moment is ever dull as the snow falls outside.
The Easter Bunny was a Fox (COMPLETE): Post Series (Part 3 of the “Little Redhead” Series). Scully has to pick up Bill, Tara, and a couple of surprise family from the airport, leaving Mulder alone with their 6-year-old daughter, Eliana, on Easter Morning. All she has for him are curiosities as Easter’s non-Christian ideology unfolds before her eyes…creating the most unique bonding opportunity for a father and his daughter. (For Flicked_Switch)
Angst/UST/RST
Caught in the Rain (COMPLETE): A dark, rainy night leads Mulder and Scully to a hole in the wall bar where glasses of Scotch and unresolved tension is re-visited.
Or We Can Burn (COMPLETE): Post Never Again - expansion and continuation of the aftermath surrounding what Scully has been hiding from Mulder.
It Lingers (COMPLETE): The aftermath of trauma and the lingering effects of Mulder’s risky attempt to recover the truth about Samantha’s abduction leads to a revelation from Scully about her own coping mechanisms and flashes into a past she doesn’t fully remember...and the path to which they lead thereafter. (For @red2007)
Fluff/Humor
Nervous Laughter (COMPLETE): It’s been two full days since their tender, albeit brief, moment at the stroke of midnight and Mulder decides to be brave and methodical by inviting Scully over for a little movie and popcorn night for a film that has stayed locked in his mind as her favorite—The Exorcist. (This is a gift for @rationalcashew)
Lamplight & Shooting Stars (COMPLETE): It’s Spring-time in DC and spontaneous, mutually taken vacation time has become a personal mission of Mulder’s to surprise Scully with so much more than an escape from their norm—and the unseasonable, uncomfortable city heat. (For @underworldobsessed)
Into the Nightlife (ONGOING): A little paid vacation time never hurt anyone, right? (Not giving anything away this time)
Smut
Insomniac (COMPLETE): Another lonely, sleepless night, another dingy motel, and another town that isn’t home for Mulder…but, something changed, with the last gasp of the air conditioner as his partner, and best friend, chooses to walk through the adjoining door. (Expanded writing exercise)
Vultus in Speculo (COMPLETE): The last of the paperwork on the Strickland case has been finalized and filed and Scully goes off for a drink at a known FBI watering hole. Mulder is invited but doesn’t show up until after Scully is halfway through a drink—giving him an opening to inquire about a whole lot more than her flirtations with the Sheriff in the booth of a rooftop bar. (written for @msrheadcanon
Phosphorescence (COMPLETE): Still reeling from their experience in North Carolina, Mulder and Scully take a much-needed excursion to the coast of Oregon, where a flicker of light becomes more than a curiosity in the middle of the night. (Written for @anniexami)
The Darker Side of Love (COMPLETE): Mulder does not want to talk but he does not want Scully to leave, either. (This is for the MSR fanzine vol 3)
Ficlets/Drabbles/Short Prompt Collection
Affirmations and Protestations: “Fluff and Angst” Prompts (ONGOING):
Chapter 1 - "You Weren't Supposed to Hear That" - prompt #5, 61, 77
Chapter 2 - "Shout!" - prompt #19, 61 (From Valerie)
Chapter 3 - "Litost" - prompt #1, 85, 97 (From Monika)
Chapter 4 - "Ad Infinitum" - prompt #42 (From Minuete)
Chapter 5 - "Brick" - prompt - After Scully calls Mulder in the ep Emily, she asks him to bring her some things from home. Her journal falls to the floor and Mulder sees some things written about him that she has never allowed him to know. (from Monika)
Chapter 6 - "I'd rather be oblivious" - prompt #46 (from Annie)
Criminal Minds
Angst/UST/RST
Dulce Periculum (COMPLETE): Maxine and Spencer have continued seeing each other, in spite of the interference brought to the surface by Cat Adams. Spencer continues to work closely with the BAU after it nearly dismantled, with signature members scattering to the winds, leaving behind only a few, including himself, to keep working on their caseload. After a long, intense case, Spencer returns home to a little more than a can of worms. (A gift for an anonymous prompter)
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Angst/UST/RST
Chasing your Silhouette (COMPLETE): They’d learned each other’s quirks and intricacies on the job—but when did it become over the line? When did physicality become a detriment to them once they’ve taken off their shields? When did they realize the line in the sand no longer existed? (This is meant to take place a couple weeks after “Zebras” – had to assume a timeline, I don’t remember actual dates)
Paternity Redux - Time Just Stopped (COMPLETE): Her strength has always been immeasurable—but sometimes, something has to give and a string breaks. Nothing will ever be the same.“I’m trying my best, that is enough.” - UnknownThis is part of a challenge, to right a series of wrongs in an episode that has perpetrated many a discussion of ��What Could Have Been”. WriterKC, Liv.Einziger, JustAnotherBookWorm78, MrsWellRested, EORocks, AlexisDawn, ChriskaPeach, and I have stepped up to the plate to do just that.
Oblivion (ONGOING 9/? Chapters posted ***UPDATED***): The undercover operation in Oregon takes an unexpected, unpleasant turn for Olivia Benson as an injury turns her life, and career, upside-down leaving her with pieces of her memory scattered in the wind.
Humor
Unlock the Door (TENTATIVELY COMPLETE 2/2): Olivia returns home from a celebratory series of shots with Kim Greylek and lets Elliot Stabler hear a little more than she ever intended to in the aftermath.
Series
Polaroids and Promises (COMPLETE): The Special Victims Unit has undergone an enormous amount of changes in the past six months, to the point that they are drastically undermanned—until a transfer from the 13th precinct brings new life, and a little chaos, to the team. Will her addition prove to be a permanent shift or a flash in the pan?
Discarded Dignity (COMPLETE): Elora continues to gain much-needed confidence as a member of the Special Victims Unit but an arrival booked for trespassing, assaulting an officer, and disorderly throws her progress into chaos as her past jumps to the surface. Will she be able to look beyond the misstep to solve one of the most convoluted cases she’s faced?
Contract Corruption (ONGOING 10/?): Dickie Stabler and Justin Andrisani are in over their heads--and the members of SVU and the Organized Crime task force must come together in order to set things right.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Organized Crime Crossover
Series
Words of love, words of lies, words of loss
Age of Regret (COMPLETE): Elliot Stabler has never been good with words but ten years and a double on the rocks in a lonely room will make a man pour his heart out…in any way that he can.
Infidelis (COMPLETE): Elliot had been haunted by too many ghosts; expectations, fantasies, and a promise that he knew should never be kept. It was time to lay them all to rest. “I do not regret you…I regret what you did to me.” - Unknown
#My fics#X Files#Criminal Minds#this is ongoing#someday soon#this will have SVU on it#all the fics#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#yes I have more#no they are not all done#I'm a little crazy#Organized Crime#crossover
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if ur ok with it can u break down the tarlos huggggg in the lst ep after tk tells evy1 abt his addiction? bc that gd huggggggg i wanna no every thing u think abt it i live for ur love for tarlos theyre just so so cuteeeee
IF I’M OKAY WITH IT?! Anon, I feel like I have been waiting my entire life for this ask. I could literally talk about this hug for the rest of my existence. I would talk about this hug every second of every day if I could and never get tired or bored. This hug has owned my entire heart from the moment that it happened and I can never get enough of it. Brace yourself for this essay, and remember that you asked for it...
Okay, so before I get to the actual hug, I want to talk for a minute about why I love it so much and also how fantastic the scene is that comes before it. I’ll try to keep both of those brief (LOL). If you want to skip to the hug breakdown, I’ll give the sections titles.
Why I Love This Hug
So, why do I love this hug so much? Honestly, because I never in a million years thought we’d get something like it, and it was a big turning point for me.
I have not been quiet about how disappointing I think season 1 was. Too much Owen being Owen, too much Iris plot (which never interested me for even a single moment, unfortunately), not enough of the other characters - specifically the characters of color - and definitely not enough Tarlos.
Following episode 3, the show established a really frustrating pattern with Tarlos: they either never interacted with one another, or there was a moment of them at the end of an episode where they were in the same place physically but never spoke directly to one another. Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe the Tarlos talking drought between episodes 3 and 10 - and honestly? It’s bad writing. To focus on a ship for 3 episodes, giving them a lot of different nuances and conflict, and then do absolutely nothing with it? Stupid. So, going into the finale, my expectations were low. At that point, I was literally tuning in just to catch a glimpse of Carlos, with the expectation that that was all I would get. I really didn’t think I was going to watch the show after season 1.
When the finale started with a Tarlos scene, I was honestly very surprised. But, then, of course, it was a “break up” scene, and I was like... well. So much for that. See, I fully expected, based on the trend throughout the later half of the season, that that would be the only Tarlos scene we would get, and that that is how they would end season 1.
But when that camera cut to Carlos Reyes walking through the station door looking like a modern-day motherf*cking Prince Charming? I cried. I’m not ashamed to admit that. And then WHEN WE GOT THE HUG?! I can honestly still feel my heart pounding in my chest.
The finale didn’t fix everything for me; they still barely talk in their final two scenes. It’s not all perfect. But this hug, this small moment? THAT. IS. PERFECTION. (And I’m gonna go on and on about why in just a minute!)
Framing the Hug
I just want to take another moment here to chat about the entire fire station scene with TK and the team/Carlos because there’s a lot that informs why this hug is so freaking incredible. It has everything to do with the directing choices that were made - and boy were they good ones!
We all probably remember how the scene starts: extreme close-ups on TK as he sits waiting for the crew to come back. He’s anxious and possibly having a mild panic attack, and the camera is used to create that moment. Certain shots are out of focus, the shots that are focused are zoomed in to his mouth/hands/eyes, the sound is distorted, his breathing is isolated. It’s all super effective.
So the observations that I make about this brief moment are: TK is stationary, the camera is basically attacking him. And TK is alone. Pretend for a moment that the camera is a character. The camera won’t leave him alone. No one is there to help him. His anxiety grows.
(Even when the team joins him, the camera stays pretty close to him, except for one moment where it backs off but then approaches again. It continues to invade his personal space and his personal moments with his friends and his dad.)
Now, compare that to how the scene ends: TK walks away from the camera, the camera doesn’t follow him. It gives him space. His interaction with Carlos happens in the distance. If the camera is a character, TK defeated that character. He leaves it there, it no longer threatens him. I just really like that visual storytelling; that through the 4 minute scene, TK not only faces his demons, speaks his truth, and conquers his anxiety but he beats the camera and goes off to hug Carlos untethered. (He even bounces towards him, but we’ll get to that in a minute.) That doesn’t really have anything to do with the hug specifically, but I thought it was interesting anyway.
The other comparison that I want to make is a simple one, but it’s another reason why I love the hug: TK initiates it. He doesn’t initiate the group hug with his team (he actually almost says “we don’t have to do that” when Mateo moves towards him), though he obviously enjoys it. Owen initiates their hug, flinging himself at his son, and TK obviously appreciates it.
But the Carlos hug? TK approaches him, TK raises his arm to wrap around Carlos’s neck.
Okay, now to finally answer the original ask...
LET’S HUG IT OUT: THE BREAKDOWN THAT WAS ASKED FOR
youtube
First, can I just say from his first appearance to the end of this scene, Carlos is there for 20 seconds total and I am about to write a whole-ass essay about those 20 seconds?! I’m literal trash.
Okay, so Carlos appears looking like a fucking snack. He’s changed since the bus accident, looking like someone’s hot date, and I think we know whose... Owen is basically like “well this is unexpected” and honestly, same sir. TK is adorable and noncommittal, but clearly not surprised to see Carlos there. We’ve missed a moment between them since TK was sent to the hospital and Carlos called him impressive, that’s for sure.
So when TK starts to walk towards him, the camera refocuses on Carlos and we see this adorable freaking look on his face that clearly says “how did it go?” or “all went well?” or something to that effect. I think Carlos knew what TK was doing at the station and he knew that it was a big deal for him, and I love that even before they are next to each other, he’s checking in to see how it went. He’s invested in TK’s well-being - as always - and he’s there to support him, both physically and emotionally. I COULD SCREAM.
In response to Carlos’s silent questioning, TK throws his head back and sighs. Like I said before, he seems to bounce towards Carlos, his body is pretty loose - his arms are swinging back and forth. This is a guy who just took a load off, and he’s relieved about having done so. The smile that Carlos gives him in answer says that he’s relieved too - that it went so well, that TK seems lighter. He might even be relieved that TK is being so much more open with him, clearly showing him his emotions. Their body language for this entire moment is very open, neither of them seem closed off. It truly does feel like, for the first time, they are meeting each other on equal footing, with all of their cards on the table before them. It’s such a different moment for them, certainly different than their body language during the boba date earlier in the episode.
I would be an absolute idiot if I did not pause and remark here how INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT IT IS that TK is the one that approaches Carlos. I’m not the first person to notice and say this, but Carlos “I hate being the one doing the chasing” Reyes stops just inside the door. He lets TK walk towards him. It’s such an interesting, nonverbal conversation between them. In this action, Carlos is saying “I’m here, but I’m still not going to force anything. You said you wanted space, so I’m giving it to you.” Sure, he comes to the station - but I would pay good money to bet that TK invited him there following some kind of conversation about what he was doing there - but he stays at the door. He’s cautious, but open. He wants something more with TK, but he’s not going to throw himself into it just to get hurt again. So, he waits. AND TK COMES TO HIM. TK leaves his own space and enters his. TK takes the final step. TK closes the gap. TK makes the big move, and they’re finally both right in front of each other, on the same wavelength. The find that solid ground from which they’ll build their relationship together. ISN’T IT JUST BEAUTIFUL?!
Seriously, kudos to Bradley Buecker for directing this episode with multiple levels of storytelling at play. It’s really great stuff.
OKAY, there’s a little Owen and Michelle moment, but then the camera finds Tarlos again.
TK is standing in front of Carlos, they’re completely fixated on one another, their body language is just so fucking casual and comfortable I cannot stand it. See, the other hugs were all pretty intense: the team piles on top of TK, burying him, and Owen practically throws himself at TK, it’s a fairly hard hug for a man with an injured shoulder. But this hug? NOPE.
It’s so soft. It’s so gentle. TK raises his arm like he just can’t not wrap it around Carlos’s neck, like it’s the only way to be as close as possible to him and being as close as possible to him is all he wants in that moment.
What I really love about this hug is that it feels like two people who hug not because the moment is demanding it, not because they’re reuniting after a long time apart, not because they’re in a heightened state of emotion.
These two hug like it’s just what they do, what they always want to be doing, like they don’t know how not to do it. The whole thing reads like “Hi, I’m TK and my arms belong around Carlos” and “Hi, I’m Carlos, and my arms belong around TK, what else would I be doing with them?” (It’s also the vibe I get from the club scene where they wrap their arms around each other.)
IT’S INTIMACY, Y’ALL.
Look, to be a Tarlos fan, I think you have to be willing to look at the relationship on two different levels, right? One is what they verbalize to each other, which is admittedly very little (season 2, come through). The other is the story that they tell through their body language. These two have seemingly always been on the same page physically. It just comes naturally to them, from the minute they first dance to their obviously very pleasing sex scene to the way they flirt in the bar to the club to Carlos at TK’s bedside.
Their chemistry is made clear through how they physically relate to each other, and never is that more clear than in this hug that LITERALLY LASTS 2 SECONDS BUT CONTAINS MULTITUDES.
Okay, back to it... so TK strolls towards Carlos, Carlos waits for him - they symbolism is making me scream - TK raises his arm, it’s all super casual...
And then he just kind of literally falls into Carlos’s body, and Carlos basically just catches him. HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THAT.
They don’t even speak but because they’ve had a nonverbal conversation with just those looks that I talked about, there’s just this understanding that TK needs to just collapse a little bit and he never for one second doubts that Carlos will hold him up. THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY DO.
OKAY OKAY OKAY now we’re going to break this down from head to toe.
Like, the way that their heads just rest against each other, TK pressing close - I can almost imagine that he breathes in the scent of Carlos’s shampoo, his nose is pressed right there in his curls. AND JUST IMAGINE HIS SMILE, I BET IT’S BLINDING.
I love that their heads kind of curve around each other kind of, perfectly Yin and Yang - like, from above they would totally look like that symbol.
MY FAVORITE PART OF THE ENTIRE THING: CARLOS FREAKING REYES NUZZLING INTO TYLER KENNEDY STRAND’S NECK, LIKE HE JUST SHOVES HIS FACE RIGHT IN THERE
THE NECK KISS MADE ME SCREAM SO FUCKING LOUD THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT I COULD NOT HANDLE IT
First, it’s our first kiss since episode 2.
Second, THE INTIMACY OF PRESSING A KISS TO SOMEONE’S NECK - LIKE THAT IS SUCH A SOFT PART OF YOUR BODY, THERE ARE TENDONS THERE, YOU CAN FEEL SOMEONE’S PULSE THERE - LIKE OH MY GOD
Nothing screams “I want to know every part of this man on a deep, committed level” than a fucking neck kiss, and Carlos Reyes just... he fucking does it.
Okay but he really does bury his whole face in there like he wants to keep it there forever, I have truly never seen something so soft in my entire life.
I’m so in love with them I could puke.
But like, that’s why this moment means so much to me, because I really do think that it’s a solidifying moment for both of them.
For TK, it’s a “It’s okay if I stumble or fall because this man will catch me or help me up” thing
For Carlos, it’s “he wants me, he wants this, he’s taking literal steps towards this thing between us, and he encourages me to sink into him, he wants me to do that, he really wants this”
Like, fuck.
Moving down... we gotta appreciate Carlos being mindful of TK’s shoulder, unlike literally everyone else who has hugged him. Like, he doesn’t even go anywhere near those stitches because there’s no fucking way he’s going to watch TK bleed out for the third time, nope.
And the way that Carlos just slides his arms around TK’s waist, pressing his palms into his lower back?!
I think there’s a whole like, thing, where when a person’s hands are flat and open they’re like, open and vulnerable. So there’s just something about the way that Carlos presses both of his open palms against TK’s back that feels so open and vulnerable and honest to me.
Also, the way that he literally covers as much of TK’s back with his hands as possible? He doesn’t place his hands on top of one another, he stacks them along TK’s spine - he completely covers the entirety of his lower back. That’s a really vulnerable part of the human body, and Carlos instinctively protects it. AND TK LET’S HIM.
Okay, finally, down to their feet: TK really does collapse against Carlos, throwing himself on top of him and trusting that Carlos will keep him upright. All of his weight shifts to that forward momentum, he even goes up on the toes of his right foot. Carlos plants his feet, and as TK sways into him, he wraps him in his arms and gently centers them so that they don’t tip over to the ground.
He literally re-balances them. The two of them together find a balance with one another during this TWO-SECOND HUG. They shift, they steady themselves, they sink into one another.
It’s literally symbolic of them both being completely, 100%, without question, ready for the next phase of their relationship together.
They keep each other standing, and that’s fucking true love, y’all.
I honestly cannot wait for season 2. This hug and the final scene on the hood of Carlos’s car - with TK again making the move to embrace their relationship by physically reaching into Carlos’s space for his hand and dragging it into his own space, firmly opening the door to his heart to let him inside, while also settling Carlos’s hand between his own to let him know that he’s willing to protect him and his heart too - makes me believe that we are in for some truly wonderful romance with these boys.
My heart will not stop screaming about it.
#anonymous#asks#tarlos#tk strand#carlos reyes#911 lone star#that finale hug is the very definition of love#and I have a lot of feelings about it#thank you so much for sending this ask#I loved getting to rewatch this 3-second hug about a billion times to overanalyze it#best night I've had in a long time#holy shit this is almost 3K... for a 3-second hug... I’m literally trash#brian breakdowns#brian being tarlos trash
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Adventure Time Reviewed: Season 1 part 1
As promised, I’m going through the Adventure Time series. I’m going to write brief reviews for each of the eps as I watch them, in groups.
Slumber Party Panic to Prisoners of Love
S1E01: Slumber Party Panic
This made an outstanding choice for a first episode, even if it wasn’t the intended premiere, because SPP shows you a brief package of what themes the show would keep through its run, rather than just a brief adventure. It’s really funny that the first appearance of Princess Bubblegum in the series is her raising the dead, it being a big mistake, and her lying to the candy people to protect them and describing them as ignorant, then making a 12 year old keep a royal promise. This ep shows Finn’s early season character - an amped up, anxious kid who wants to keep everyone happy but sometimes can’t. And it has Jake trying to pry the information from him, because from Jake’s perspective it is out of character for Finn to keep secrets, and he is also messed up after finding Dead Mr Creampuff’s sock with Finn. (Mr Creampuff and Manfried are both in this ep, and they will continue to be the funniest retcons of all time to me) What was absolutely retconned after this ep was the brokenness of the Gumball Guardians. It’s hilarious that Bubblegum programmed them to go apeshit if someone breaks a promise to her. If only they could have frozen time during the final battle against GOLB. I liked the part in ETDBIDK where you have to answer a maths question while dodging their attacks, even if it went on a bit too long. The ep also subverts its message. Bubblegum asks Finn if he learned about the consequences of breaking promises, but Finn says that if he breaks promises he can go on AWESOME ADVENTURES and REVERSE DEATH ITSELF, and PB goes whatever, youre too cute to yell at.
The music in SPP is surreal. Seriously, listen to this ep. The tension it creates when Finn is told to make a royal promise because the zombies will explode, and how the music so naturally swings with the mood of the ep. Excellent score!
As Jake said,“This is messed up, but cute!”
S1E02: Trouble in Lumpy Space
This is the introduction to LSP and to Lumpy Space. Lumpy space is a beautiful if rather barren environment. I do think more could have been done with it in AT, because there are not many episodes that take place in space. One design choice I found SUPER COOL in this ep is the sun has a green halo around it. I can’t actually find the sun again, I even looked on the wiki but there are no images, so it must have appeared for a brief instance. But it looked great!
LSP as a character was always incredibly selfish, but she also has this vibe of being a teenager who dwells far too much on teenager feelings. She NEVER takes anything seriously, unless it’s teen drama. And you can see that in full effect here. I love LSP. I love how much of an asshole she is, yet she has this sort of charm, because she’s so spiteful but in the teenage idiot kind of way rather than in a genuinely malicious way. It’s like she doesn’t understand right and wrong and is driven by pure instinct. And she’s voiced by Pen Ward! His LSP voice is the best.
I love Finn and Jake getting lumpified. There is some great voice acting on behalf of Jeremy Shada to pull this off.
Favourite joke: When Jake talks about how he might get lumpified, and if it happens Finn says he’ll bury him next to the treehouse, but Jake is alarmed and says he just wanted to be accepted, what did Finn think he was going to say? LMAO
Other good one: “We were drawn back by your directionless fury. Here! PCHOO! Get your girl back!” “Yeah there’s no girl.”
Finn in this ep is having some issues communicating. He ends up having an outburst at LSP, even though it wasn’t entirely her fault that the smooth posers took away the orb, it was theirs too. Finn was having a bad day.
I wish Jellybeans Have Power started with PB and SP bouncing on marshmallows like in this episode rather than having tea in her room. That would’ve been a nice callback.
Anyway, Trouble in Lumpy Space is great. These two eps are really good introductions to the series.
S1E03: Prisoners of Love
I love the joke with the snow golem’s cat head. There is an immediate callback to the Pilot, with Finn and Jake having fun in the snow. I always liked how fun these scenes looked, they are very very rare later in the series. There’s even a homage to penguin surfing, but the penguins are surfing on Jake this time. Finn and Jake act like jerks to the Ice King for like no reason. “Do you know what Ice King means?” “A big nerd!” “Oh, holy cow!” *fistbump*
“There’s a big sleepy lava man in our front yard, and he is SO hot.” “Mmmhmm....” “Nonono I take it - I mean, not like SEXY hot--” “No, no you DO mean sexy hot!” “NO! I mean---” Oh Adventure Time. Gay jokes on episode 3, and these would continue throughout the show. But as soon as you imply two of your main girl characters are or were in love, suddenly the network hounds onto you like dogs :/ Rebecca Sugar herself said that it’s much more likely you’ll get gay content in if it’s presented as a joke, or Wrong somehow, like Jake and Ice King getting married later in the season.
“Now now, I brought you a baby! And a PUPPY!” In his twisted way, Ice King thought the princesses would want to have Finn and Jake there. It’s also a good thing Finn and Jake got kidnapped because otherwise they wouldn’t have discovered Ice King locked up a bunch of princesses.
Ice King himself is a fun character already. He’s not shown as doing outright evil stuff to Finn and Jake for the sake of it. He seems heavily misguided, and idiotic, trying in his weird way to make friends. Then again.... “IceKing - let the girls go! They don’t want to be here.” “Of course they do! I’d have killed them already if they didn’t want to be here! Right ladies?” Ice King I’m increasingly certain the only reason you haven’t been dissected on Bubblegum’s lab table is because of your connection to Marceline, but that is some late series lore. As for the early seasons, wtf dude!
The flute song Finn plays in this ep is very similar to the one he plays in Lemonhope part 2. The Lemonhope version is more complete. “You broke it when we tried picking the lock to that sad ogre’s heart!” Oh my god that is such an AT line, you can imagine an entire emotional adventure based on that.
Ice King has a drawing of Bubblegum on his keyboard...
I love how the princesses are clearly quite traumatized by this affair, having been held for weeks, but the most Ice King did was ask them about their favourite sports, while threatening to kill them if they didnt play the keyboard..... it’s like a parody of a twisted serial killer. AT’s dark humor is my favourite.
Finn is a hot headed kid. He knows that the Ice King needs some kind of help but doesn’t know where to start. He knows he’s probably too young to understand. But Jake hasn’t got the patience to help.
Cosmic Owl’s first appearance!!!!!
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My Thoughts After Re-Watching Season 2
Hiya everybody. Sorry for the long times between posts. Working two jobs and keeping a social life, while also trying to sleep, eat healthy and get hydrated is taking a toll on this account. Bright side is, that because of the whole Corona situation, I might spend a lot of time home soon. So head-up, another headcanon/theory is coming this week, but just to break the hiatus, I decided to write today.
Every now and then, I decide to re-watch one of the three seasons of the show, just so I could have something to fill my time. So, recently I decided to watch season 2 again, and, as I like, pick up on some details, ideas or thoughts I didn’t get during previous binges. I’ve watched this season, like the others, around four or five times now since release, maybe more - and yet I’m still genuinely surprised at the things I notice or realize every time. So I figured I might turn it into a list of the good, the bad, and the plain interesting.
This list is in no particular order, I just write my thoughts as they go.
1. I am still BLOWN AWAY by how good the writing is on this show. It may not be an Oscar-winning script, but for a teen show of the early 2000′s it’s amazingly deep and well thought of, from every angle. That what makes my theories so fun to make, because they planted so much information throughout the shows that I genuinely enjoy picking out details and information from it.
2. To go into more depth, I really enjoyed all the different storylines they brought in throughout the 26 episodes. Look, twenty-six episodes is a lot for a TV series. Most shows release around 10, since long storylines are hard to follow and are easy to get messy. But while they added so many side stories (Max and the original mermaids, Ash and Emma, Cleo and Lewis’ breakup and Charlotte getting in between),. each of these stories merged with the main plot so well, and actually added depth to the story, making it more complicated for the characters, and more interactive for the viewer.
3. While the main focus for the season was the Cleo-Lewis-Charlotte relationship, both Emma and Rikki had their romantic paths taken as well. But unlike season 1, where the couples fought for screen time, this time those relationships were put to the side in favour of the main plot, which made them more slow-paced and interesting to watch. I enjoyed the fact that Emma and Ash stayed in the dark throughout the entire season, and that Zane only appeared when he was needed. Both are good characters, but not needed every time.
4. On the other hand, Cleo and Lewis’ relationship was handled very maturely all through the season. From when they dated, through the post-breakup, and all the way to managing being friends, the relationship was very well looked into and explored.
5. Might be a side thing, but I loved that Ash was actually figuring out something was off about Emma. One of my favourite lines by him was, “You realize none of this is natural. But you already knew that.” (Ep. 26) Mostly in shows like these, the character either never questions the weird occurrences around them, or the curiosity fuel the storyline (like Zane in season 1). The writer really wrote out of pure logic and not out of plot requirements, and I dig that little detail.
6. This one is felt throughout the entire show, but was most dominant during this one. The show is not about mermaids at all. This is written as a show about three girls and their coming of age process, and the things they have to deal with, one of them being turned into mermaids. But it’s far from being the only problem these girls have, and it’s showing when some episodes really struggle to squeeze in scenes of the girls in their tails for pure rating, even when the plot is not in need of any mermaid action. The girls have a very full and normal lifestyle aside from being mermaids. They go out, go shopping, have other friends, work, study and fail, deal with personal issues at home or with partners. The tails are just another part of their lives and I love it.
7. Episode 23 is a turning point for Charlotte’s character arch. I’ve spoken greatly before about how I feel like Charlotte is seen in our minds as the “bad guy” while she was a nice character most of her time on the show. And she was! Up until episode 23 when was never trying to hurt the girls. She may have acted out of jealousy before towards Cleo, but she was insecure and worried about her boyfriend. What should she think when her boyfriend spends a whole lot of time with his ex and fails to explain to her exactly why? The show did a great job showing the point of both sides in the argument between the girls and Charlotte, and showed the entire process of how their relationship turned into what it was. A lot of ego, assumptions, and false worries, and a lot of unfortunate events. Episode 23 was really a turning point because that’s where both sides of the fight were really right in different ways, things that led Charlotte to want to go on her own, and the girls to stay away from her. Charlotte acted the way she did because she felt like the girls were treating her badly (which she was wrong about sometimes, but they too hold the blame, mostly Rikki). From episode 24 and on, she started acting as the “bad guy” the show built her to be, and even then I can see her side. But enough on that.
8. Lewis is hot. Idk what’s up with Charlotte’s eyebrows.
9. One thing that feels off every time is how quickly Lewis started dating Charlotte. I don’t blame a guy for moving on quickly, I do find it weird that during the post-breakup from Cleo, he not only protected Cleo’s respect and jealousy by not flirting with any other girl, but also didn’t really seem like he was into Charlotte at all. She was a good friend at the beginning, then Cleo got in the middle, and for some reason, Charlotte did her best to rub it in Cleo’s face that she wants Lewis. But he never, for once, showed interest back until Cleo gave him permission to move on, and all of a sudden they’re dating. What I'm saying is that Lewis never seemed to like Charlotte romantically, like she liked him. So that was weird, they just never felt right together.
10. The reason Charlotte mastered her powers so quickly, at least in my eyes, is because that a) she had the girls to explain her at least the basics, and b) she didn’t put herself into a box of ‘this is what I was given’, bc she wanted to be better than Cleo at every cost. Her will power helped her master her powers. While the girls dealt with learning their boundaries and abilities and adjusting into the new life they got, Charlotte learned about mermaids before her transformation and knew what she was getting into.
11. The show never shied away from real-life issues, that may be considered inappropriate or harsh to the audiences the show is targeted at. Handling with divorce (and the outcomes of it!) and parents starting dating again (true story, Cleo’s way to handle with Sam’s introduction into her father’s life helped me cope when my mother started dating men a couple of years ago), while also showing signs of LGBT references (Nate mentioned people think Lewis is gay, in other words) or even sexual harassment and consent (both when Rikki was mad at Zane for kissing her against her will, and when Ash’s apology to Emma when he believed Lewis thought he was trying to have sex with her/spy on her showering, which to remind y’all, she was 16 while he was 18). It’s so brief I never noticed it before, but once I did, it was hard to miss.
12. And lastly, I just love how this show treats science. So much real life and true scientific information is included in the lines of the story, mainly by Lewis, but also by other characters like Will, Cleo, Lowrey, Max and Dr. Denman. When they wrote the entire base to what mermaids are and how they exist, they didn’t care it was a show for goddamn 9-year-olds, and that what makes it so interesting. If you’re not into science, let me tell you that every scientific blurb or word you hear on the show is 100%% real and makes sense within its context. From talking about marine biology, to referring to mermaids groups ‘pods’ (which is a group of marine mammals in scientific terms), to the science of “magic” and mermaids as a whole, the show knows what it’s doing is within the realms of possibility from a scientific point of view, meaning none of it is real, but it could be, in another life.
Anyways, if you have anything else to add, feel free! This is your list as it is mine. I just really love this show and I wish people appreciated it the same way we do. When I tell people I like this show they remember it as just another kids TV show, and it’s so much more than that.
Hope you’re having a great day, be safe, and wash your hands (just not in front fo people, keep the secret safe!)
Until next time, maybe not as far as you think. xx
#h2o just add water#lewis mccartney#cleo sertori#emma gilbert#rikki chadwick#Charlotte Watsford#zane bennett#Ash
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Be My Princess Social // Yakov Chernenkov, Season 1, Episodes 2&3
The Job of the Exclusive Designer // Prince Yakov’s Dance Partner
1・2/3・
yeahhh boi 2 eps in one post, trying to do the zoomies with progress so i can get to the better parts in terms of being less judged by ikemen elsa sorry for potentially clogging the tag with this stuff. i’ll see if i can do larger chunks as this goes along to prevent that... but i also don’t really want to make these posts too large tho... i’m noticing with the new dash it just extends the post on the dash directly when you click the read more break, which...........huh
on an unrelated note - tbh there’s not that... much “actual” content going on in the other otome mobage i’m playing rn so i’m more inclined to move this along. sorry for those who follow me for other stuff, but we’re at the boring july lull where it’s just swimsuit/beach stuff. zzz maybe in a week or two i can wake up
Image-heavy!! Please credit if you take any of it, thenk u (・ω・*)
blog link of this post here, if you’d rather read this on my blog directly than on dash. otherwise:
Episode 2 // The Job of the Exclusive Designer
➤ as an aside, i’m going to start using italics on dialogue for emphasis more often. takes less brain power than having to restructure the sentence and the like just to utilize emphasis based on word use and/or adding words or phrases........ i’m not a trained editor ok orz i’ll try not to overkill with it tho.... otherwise it’ll be italics overkill with the (internal thoughts italics)
I had received an invitation from Lord Nobel himself to become the exclusive designer of Sanct Sybil― And earlier, I wholeheartedly decided to accept that offer.
However, I know for sure that the Prince is someone I’ve encountered before. (I would’ve never considered that these two were the prince and steward of Sanct Sybil...) The Prince takes a seat on the couch, and Zain presents a few documents to him.
[Zain]: “Here is Miss Kara’s resume, along with her past design sketches.” [Prince Yakov]: “...I shall take a look.” Taking the documents, he sets the design sketches aside on the table. The face and overall mood the Prince wears as he scans the papers are unreadable. (Ahh...I’m so nervous...) I shift my eyes away from the Prince, breathing out a soft sigh. In doing so, my line of sight stops right at the butler standing next to him. (If I’m remembering correctly, I’m pretty sure his name is Yuri.) (Prince Yakov certainly is terrifying, with an intimidating aura to boot – but... This guy’s scary in a whole different way.) With a sidelong glance at Yuri, the smile he’s been wearing this whole time doesn’t even crack in the slightest. Though it was visually the same smile as the one he wore while pinning down that man in the courtyard, the Yuri before my eyes only has the vibe of a mild-mannered steward today. (Neither of them have said anything out loud regarding that past incident... but, without a doubt, they definitely remember me from that time.)
My body buckled down thinking about it when Prince Yakov then looked up from the papers in his hands. [Prince Yakov]: "I understand that she hails from the offices of the famed Jean Pierre.” [Prince Yakov]: “However... from these documents, it appears that there are no records of previous accolades of any kind – but?” His brows cross slightly as he inquires Lord Nobel about it. With a nod, His Grace turns his gaze to the design sketches on the tabletop.
[Nobel]: “It’s true that given her very brief time under those offices, she has yet to gain any formal accolades for herself.” [Nobel]: “But, you should take a look at these designs. Surely then you can notice her capabilities.” [Prince Yakov]: “...I see.” Paying no heed to the design sketches, the Prince places the resume over the table.
(The work of a designer with no actual accomplishments – it’s something he’d have no interest for, I would think.) (Even though the likes of Lord Nobel and Jean Pierre have especially recommended me... I’m pretty sure I’m going to get rejected.) Feeling uneasy as I look over his expression, the Prince slowly exhales. As if contemplating something, he makes a bit of a troubled face while meeting Lord Nobel’s gaze. [Prince Yakov]: “―If someone like Your Grace is sponsoring her, I suppose that the lack of past achievements will not be a problem.”
[Prince Yakov]: “I shall invite her to be the exclusive designer of Sanct Sybil castle.” (Huh...?) [Nobel]: “I see. Well, when can Kara come to Sanct Sybil?” [Prince Yakov]: “About that... As soon as the formalities have been taken care of, we shall arrange to let her live in the castle at once.” [Prince Yakov]: “―Yuri, proceed with the proper formalities.” [Yuri]: “Understood.” [Yuri]: “With that, Miss Kara, here are the documents detailing the contents of the position.” Yuri, disregarding my surprised state, hands me some papers. (Without looking at even a single one of my designs, he’s decided to accept me as the castle’s designer...) (Is this really okay?)
With my apprehensive thoughts, I...
➢ Question Prince Yakov. ❆ ➢ Question Yuri.
➢ Question Prince Yakov. [Kara]: “P-Please wait...!” I call out to the Prince, who looked like he was about to take his leave. [Kara]: “Um... is this really all right?” [Prince Yakov]: “What of it?” [Kara]: "Without even reviewing my designs, you’ve accepted me as the castle’s designer.” Questioning the Prince, his eyebrows slightly knit. [Prince Yakov]: “The appointment of high-level positions has been entrusted to me by the King himself. There is no problem.” [Prince Yakov]: “―This discussion is over for now. Finish looking over those documents as soon as possible.” ➼
➢ Question Yuri. Seeing at the Prince engaged in conversation with Lord Nobel, I look at Yuri next to me. [Kara]: “Um... Yuri. Am I really the right one for the job?” (Even if Jean Pierre and Lord Nobel have recommended me, this still seems like too much for a fresh newcomer...) [Yuri]: “His Highness made his decision, so there is no need to worry.” With a smile etched over his face, he presses the documents towards me once more. ➼
➼ [Yuri]: “Thus, please do review these documents.” [Yuri]: “First– On the contract, can you sign here?” [Yuri]: “If His Highness ends up also signing this, your position will become official.” [Kara]: “...Understood.” Dissatisfaction wallowing within me, I receive the papers.
Kara, visibly perplexed about something, proceeds with the contract formalities. Lord Nobel, who watched this state of affairs from a distance, then turns to face Yakov.
[Nobel]: “Kara, make no mistake, will be an essential figure for Sanct Sybil.” [Nobel]: “And then I believe that the day you, Prince Yakov, will become a great power will surely come.” [Prince Yakov]: “...Your Grace, you hold her in high regard.” [Nobel]: “I sense this great enthusiasm and potential within her.” Lord Nobel beams, and speaks as if to emphasize its importance. [Nobel]: “I’m earnestly entrusting her with you, all right?” [Prince Yakov]: “...Duly noted, Your Grace.” The Prince nods at Lord Nobel’s words, his expression unchanging.
➤ ok from this moment forward i’m only labeling him as [Yakov] bc i don’t like how it doesn’t line up with the other names when it’s long. the prince title is still there and all ye
(At long last, I've come...) Stepping out of the arranged car, I stop in my tracks and look up at Sybil Castle. The castle differed from that of Nobel Castle in that I was quite overwhelmed by its solemn appearance― When Yakov’s personal steward, Yuri, greets me with a smile on his face.
[Yuri]: “―Miss Kara, we have been awaiting your arrival. Welcome to Sanct Sybil.” [Kara]: “Thank you for everything so far.” While exchanging fellow greetings, I shiver from the chilly air. Yuri then guides me towards the entrance of the castle. [Yuri]: “Your luggage will be brought in by personnel. Over here, come in.” [Kara]: “Ah-...Thank you.” Nervous, I follow Yuri and head into the castle.
[Yuri]: “The climate of Sanct Sybil and Charles are significantly different from each other. It must have given you quite the shock.” [Kara]: “Yes. ...I’m glad that you told me about it in advance.” On those work documents I had received in Nobel Castle, it included an explanation that informed me of the country’s climate. [Kara]: “But I didn’t think it would be this cold.” [Kara]: “If I hadn’t been told, I would’ve came here without preparing for anything like it.” [Yuri]: “It is because we are expecting snowfall very soon around here.” [Yuri]: “Everyone who comes to this country for the first time always is astonished by the cold, too.” Smiling, he urges me to walk ahead of him. [Yuri]: “So to start off, I shall show you around the castle.” [Yuri]: “We will stop by the studio first and then Our Lady’s room right after.” [Kara]: “...Thank you very much.” [Kara]: “Um, Yuri. As we’re both just employees working under the same castle, I’d like it if you didn’t call me ‘Miss’, but...” Expressing my thoughts, Yuri nods, smiling. [Yuri]: “Understood.” [Yuri]: “Then, Kara, let us head to the studio.” [Kara]: “Okay.” (A studio, huh... I wonder what kind of place it is.)
[Yuri]: “This here will be your personal studio.” [Yuri]: “You can use anything in here to produce to your heart’s desire.” [Yuri]: “If you ever need more of anything, I can make the proper arrangements for you – So please, tell me when that is the case.” [Kara]: “Y-Yes...” (...You wouldn’t expect anything less from the castle of a royal family; the facilities here are just superb.) Surveying the studio, I sigh in admiration of the room. I had been also shown the more important areas of the castle– and the dignified atmosphere of it all just easily overpowered me entirely. (With this level of equipment prepared, it’ll be even more inappropriate to make anything half-baked.) Feeling the pressure once more, Yuri then grins. [Yuri]: “There’s no need to be so anxious.” [Yuri]: “–I suppose it would have been better if I had handed these to you beforehand.” Yuri pulls out a stack of papers from the studio shelves. [Kara]: “And this is...?” [Yuri]: “These are the documents that you will be taking up from the previous designer.” Accepting the documents, I flip through the pages. (This, is...) On the sheets were essential notes regarding designs used for Prince Yakov in terms of public business, ceremonies and similar matters, along with a compilation of things like patterns that had been used in the past. [Yuri]: “His Highness is not the type to fuss over design details and the like,” [Yuri]: “so it will not be necessary to make any major alterations on the designs we have used so far.” [Yuri]: "Since you just have to follow these references to produce the garments, I do not think it is a difficult task.” (That’s... something that doesn’t require my capability as a designer...) [Kara]: “Um... These documents passed down to me – the previous designer was the one who drew them up, right?” [Yuri]: “Indeed. Because of the replacements we have made nowadays, they have already been forced to resign from this castle, but.” [Kara]: “Uh... Why did that happen?” (If I’m being made to produce solely based on their previous work, the past designer must have been at least recognized for their skill.) (So, given that, why would they be made to retire...?) Thinking how strange that was, I ask Yuri and he gives further explanation. [Yuri]: "It was so they could be replaced with the fresh, new talent that you yourself are included in.” [Yuri]: "Various departments in this castle have undergone massive layoffs.” [Yuri]: "And because of that, several individuals in the castle right now, including yourself, are newly hired.” [Kara]: “Layoffs...” As far as I can see with these old documents, it looks like the previous designer was definitely competent. So, with that– why would they think it was necessary to go out of their way and replace them? (Not only that, but replacing the majority of the castle faculty as well...) Completely stunned by the reality of this place, Yuri clarifies this in an indifferent tone. [Yuri]: ”Those who had been laid off were simply the type of talent the Sybil of today is not looking for.”
[Yuri]: ”...I had been thinking that you were going to learn about such things sooner or later.” He said this to me with that unbreakable smile of his, and I was at a loss for words.
[Yuri]: “―Kara, this will be your room.” [Yuri]: "As soon as His Highness’s conference concludes, I will be coming back to pick you up. Until then, please feel free to spend your time however you wish.” [Kara]: “Got it.” (For now, I might as well unpack...) When Yuri took his leave, I began to organize my luggage; but with my grim mood, it was considerably hard to make any progress with it. [Kara]: “Make the clothes according to the provided diagrams, huh...” Don’t “design”― In other words I was practically told to be a designer, but not to actually work as a designer for the most part. (Something like that is going to be my real job here in this castle...) The documents that had detailed the job read the same as any other designer position, but the actual work ended up being completely different than from what I had initially pictured. (And to think, both Pierre and Lord Nobel took effort to recommend me for this...)
(Well, if they were truly willing to hire someone with no experience... anyone would’ve sufficed, then.) I hung my head with a sigh, when my hand slips and drops the bag I was holding. [Kara]: “Ah-...” My work tools and design sketches scatter all over the floor. (Jeez... What am I doing...) Gathering up my sketches in a fluster, one of the designs then incidentally catches my eye.
It was a sheet of one of the most particularly memorable designs I had made since I became a part of the Jean Pierre offices. (This... Pierre scolded me about it, and then I reworked it several times...) [Kara]: “...Takes me back a bit.” (The first time I received praise for my work, I was so happy that I even forwarded the message to my parents too, I recall.) Going through page by page of my saved designs, they were filled with my personal tender thoughts from those times. The shabbier designs too― every single one was a precious treasure to me. (If I make designs by just following those old documents to a T, I’m certain... that the resulting designs wouldn’t make me feel this same way.) (Besides...)
[Jean Pierre]: “From your designs, I feel this power to them.” [Jean Pierre]: “There are some parts that are rough around the edges, but there’s this energy, one that can completely transform people, hidden within!” [Jean Pierre]: “Lord Nobel definitely sensed that too, I bet.” [Jean Pierre]: “Please believe in yourself.” [Jean Pierre]: “I, as well as His Grace, would never recommend someone who we’d feel couldn’t do the job.” [Jean Pierre]: “I believe in your potential, ma petite.”
(That’s right – I’ve... been recommended by the likes of Jean Pierre and Lord Nobel.) (I want to do work – work that can actually be called that of a designer!) Determined, I hastily round up the design sketches.
[Yuri]: “ ―Pardon me.” [Yuri]: “I have brought the designer, Kara.” At Yuri’s cue, I come into the office and see Prince Yakov surrounded by a great mass of documents. One after another, he scans through each page before giving it his signature – and while in surprise at his current state, I bow my head.
[Kara]: “Starting today, I, Kara Go, will be at your service. ―Pleased to work with you.” [Yakov]: “Mhm.” His eyes continued to focus on the documents as he replied, never looking away.
[Yakov]: “Getting straight to the point― I am calling on you to produce apparel for a party that we are hosting two weeks from now.” [Yakov]: “As it has been planned that you will also attend this party as the castle’s designer, make sure to prepare your own dress.” (Two weeks from now... that sudden?) [Kara]: “Um... Do you have any requests regarding the garments themselves?” [Kara]: “I’d like to hear if you have any preferences concerning things like design, color, material, but...” [Yakov]: “You can design your own dress however you want – however,” [Yakov]: “provided that you do not make anything disgraceful as the exclusive designer of this castle.” Along with these severe demands, he somehow has even more to say. [Yakov]: ”Regarding my own attire, you may refer to the prior templates.” [Yakov]: “After this, you will have to produce clothing meant for official business; but as long as you do not deviate from those templates, that will be adequate.” [Yakov]: “―That is all to be discussed, so you may leave now.” Without looking in my direction, he declared these matters bluntly. Apparently consenting to his demands, Yuri bows with that same perpetual smile. [Yuri]: “Then, please excuse us. Let us depart, Kara.” [Kara]: “...” [Yuri]: “...Kara?” When Yuri had turned to the door to leave, he then tilts his head as he saw me still frozen in place. (If I back down now, I won’t be able to show my face to Jean Pierre and the others who bothered to recommend me...) With that in mind, I...
➢ "I can’t do that.” ➢ “Give me some more of your time.” ❆
➢ "I can’t do that.” [Kara]: “...I cannot.” [Yuri]: “Kara, what are you saying?” [Kara]: “I cannot... produce clothing according to the prior templates.” ➼
➢ “Give me some more of your time.” I take a single step toward the Prince and say this directly to him― [Kara]: “I must deeply apologize for such, but I would like some more of your time.” [Kara]: “There are some things that I would like Your Highness to take a look at.” [Yakov]: “But I do believe that I had said that this discussion is over?” [Kara]: “There are still things I’d like to hear from you about. Please, just give me a little more of your time...!” ➼
➼ With these words, I put the file I was holding onto over his office desk. [Kara]: “These here are some of my best designs.” Opening the file, I spread the design sketches over the desk space. They were a variety of designs I’ve drawn so far. [Kara]: "I’m still lacking a bit, but I shall study more starting today. With that, I'll be able to create a great multitude of clothing.” [Kara]: “So, given that – please tell me about the types of designs that Your Highness likes.” [Yakov]: “...Did you not hear what I had just said?” [Yakov]: “My own preferences are irrelevant. As I said before, you may use a design from the notes of the previous designer.” He finally takes his eyes off the documents and looks at me for the first time. Though I felt like cowering beneath that chilly gaze, I attempt to convey my intentions to him. [Kara]: “So as to not destroy the current image of Sanct Sybil, I will also refer to the previous notes at times.” [Kara]: ”However, I’m thinking that Your Highness would just prefer to continue wearing the designs that have been used until now.” [Kara]: “Is that your preferred fashion style, sir?”
[Yakov]: “...What is your point?” [Kara]: “If that’s indeed the case, then as a designer I will make such designs accordingly.” [Kara]: “But if I’ve gotten the wrong idea, can you please tell me what you actually prefer?” [Kara]: “From now on, rather than to simply just make clothes for Your Highness – I want to know what types of designs you like.” [Kara]: “I’m a designer, so my job is to make clothes that people actually want to wear...!” [Yakov]: “...” At the end of my explanation, the office was greeted by silence. The tension engulfs my body, the prickly sensation almost piercing my skin, when the Prince rises from his chair and approaches me. [Yakov]: “...Giving my opinion here―“
[Yakov]: “In terms of that encounter back at Nobel Castle, and of now… You’re quite the spirited woman.” [Kara]: “Ah…” (As I had previously suspected – he did remember me from the actual first time we met.)
[Yakov]: “To start, I will say this to you.” [Yakov]: “I only desire one, and just one thing from you.” [Yakov]: “―It is the very fact that you are a designer that Lord Nobel himself has recommended, and that is all there is to it.” [Kara]: “...So, concerning myself– anything other than that fact is of no value to you, is what you’re saying?” [Yakov]: “Correct. It would have been better if you had prior achievements, but I shall compromise on that.” He takes yet another step closer and levels a sharp gaze at me. [Yakov]: “Of course, you are not the only one under these circumstances. In this castle, all of the human capital assembled here are renowned in their respective fields...” [Yakov]: “By hiring these types of individuals, the reputation of Sanct Sybil will increase dramatically.”
(I was called to this castle for such a reason…) (And this must be why the previous designer, as well as some other employees, had been laid off.)
➤ haha did u think this was gonna be a route where she actually got hired out of genuine appreciation of her work
While I was struck silent in shock, Prince Yakov extends his hand towards me. Tucking his fingers under my chin, he lifts my head so I directly face him.
[Yakov]: “―There is also one more thing.”
[Yakov]: “If you wish to hear of my tastes - you will have to ask me more alluringly.” His blue irises, like brilliant sapphires - narrowed mockingly. Being stared at such a close range made my cheeks flare in an instant. [Kara]: “Th-That’s not what I had meant, so… please excuse me!” (How mortifying... He’s just totally messing with me...!) I swiftly detach from him before hurriedly bowing my head and rushing out of the office.
[Yakov]: “Kara Go, hm…?” With a low murmur, he turns through the pages of design sketches over his office desk. A moment later, having finished looking through them, the memory of his conversation with Lord Nobel a few days ago drifts into his head.
[Nobel]: “Kara, make no mistake, will be an essential figure for Sanct Sybil.” [Nobel]: “And I believe that the day you, Prince Yakov, will become a great power will surely come.” [Prince Yakov]: “...Your Grace, you hold her in high regard.” [Nobel]: “I sense this great enthusiasm and potential within her.”
[Yakov]: “...Someone based on Lord Nobel’s hopes alone is like this, hm?”
Having observed his master’s countenance, Yuri speaks his inner thoughts. [Yuri]: ”When I had first met her, I had thought that she appeared to be the timid type with no self-confidence – but...” [Yuri]: “She seems like quite the intriguing individual, instead.” [Yuri]: “I did not think that she would have that sort of conviction to her character.” [Yakov]: “…” Not responding to Yuri’s comments, Yakov signs a single sheet from the pile of documents on his desk. [Yakov]: “I have finished confirming this. Take it away.” [Yuri]: “Of course.” When Yuri removed the sheet, atop the stack of remaining sheets sat Kara’s official employment documents. On it, was the Prince’s signature of approval―
To be continued...
(Letter)
From: Yuri Title: The Unexpected
You appear to be quite firm in your own beliefs. We do not often come across those who are able to plainly express their own opinions in front of His Highness. ...I am, just a touch, interested to see what comes in the future. From here on out– I look forward to working with you.
Episode 3 // Prince Yakov’s Dance Partner
Two weeks after coming to Sanct Sybil to serve as the royal castle’s exclusive designer― Coming to the party hall, I’m overwhelmed by its extravagance and grand scale. (Such a massive amount of people have gathered here tonight...)
[Guest A]: “It seems that Sanct Sybil has finally started to seriously put their plan to join the Alliance of the Six Kingdoms in motion.” [Guest B]: “Mhm. This time, it looks like they’re holding this party for the announcement, but... famous figures around the world have come here to see.” (Really?... This is a spectacular party, huh.) Along with famous figures from every country, several media outlets have come as well, and once again I sense the sheer level of attention focused on this country right now. (Ah-... If I’m not mistaken, that person’s a famous pâtissier.) In this party, those who had been brought here for this castle, like me, have also been chosen to attend. Within that group of those serving under this castle, several of them are internationally renowned, and each of them respond to the media reporters and journalists in kind. As I watched the crowds at a distance, I overhear them talking about having been hired at around the same time frame as me. [Guest A]: “Since that pastry chef over there was the sole winner of that championship, it’s no surprise they’re getting a lot of attention from the press.” [Guest B]: “Same as the rest of us, the main task they have here is to respond to the media.” [Guest B]: “Well, if I do my work exactly the way the documents told me to, that’s good enough.” [Guest B]: “The rest is just 'fun’ work where we just have to smile in front of the cameras.” (Like I thought, others in the castle have been made to work in the same fashion as I had been directed.) (It’s been the same for me, too... Ever since I came to this castle, I’ve been receiving a lot of media coverage about me.)
It had been decided that my position as Sybil Castle’s designer is to be permanent, and in the studio I promptly flip open my sketchbook. (The deadline is in two weeks... There’s not that much time for me to think up ideas for my own dress.) For the party they’re hosting two weeks from now, I must make both a uniform for Prince Yakov and a dress for myself. Just as I immediately began to start on my designs, Yuri appeared.
[Yuri]: “Please excuse me. Kara, can you come into another room as soon as possible?” [Kara]: “Um... Is there something?” [Yuri]: “Starting today, those who have been brought to this castle are to receive the presence of news reporters and similar outlets.” [Kara]: “News reporters...?” [Yuri]: “Yes. His Highness had also told you about it the other day, I recall.” [Yuri]: “Those appointed to work here as a result of the immense scale of the layoffs have been brought here for the purpose of attracting the media’s attention and to increase our reputation.” (Since that’s yet another part of this job that I was specifically sought out to do, I don’t have a choice here...) [Kara]: ”...I understand.” [Yuri]: "It will be all right. As most of the media’s questions have been chosen in advance, we have also prepared answers for you to use.” And so during the days preceding the party, I had countless interviews with the press.
(With stuff like this, I can’t really call myself a designer, now can I?...) I did somehow manage to sew together the requested garments in-between interviews, but other than that, for the most part, I haven’t done anything that can be considered the work of a designer. Letting a sigh leave me as I stood in the corner of the party hall, the press took notice of this and began to come over in my direction. (...Must be another interview, huh.) I think over the words I had decided on for these sort of media interactions in my head, when Prince Yakov then appeared atop the stage platform. That was enough for the eyes of the everyone in the venue to then gather over in his direction.
[Yakov]: “―Today, I would like to make an announcement to those who have congregated here.” [Yakov]: “Sanctis, Sybil, Versurk...” [Yakov]: “From the unification of these three lands, they were reborn as a brand new nation, the country of Sanct Sybil. [Yakov]: "Of course, not much time has passed since our new country has been founded. However, as of recently, this country has assembled a great number of talented people with promising futures.” The figure of the Prince as he surveyed the large crowd of guests was so gallant and majestic that I was completely entranced.
However, seeing the Prince clad in a uniform that strictly followed the templates that the previous designer had left behind stabbed my chest with a dull pain. (I wanted to make a design that was based on the Prince’s preferred colors and designs, after all.) Since his formal request, I didn’t have much time until the party to begin with, and then there were other things like those interviews― So ultimately, I ended up producing a uniform according to those old notes from the previous designer. (...It’s clothing that I made, but it doesn’t have that sort of feeling to it at all.)
[Yakov]: "Henceforth, Sanct Sybil will now direct its attention towards the early stages of joining the Nobel Michel Alliance.” [Yakov]: "As one nation united, we shall surely endeavor to accomplish joining the Alliance.” Thunderous applause erupts from the crowd of guests. (I have no real connection to this... It’s like I’m listening to a speech for the events occurring in a faraway country...) While further applause was granted to the Prince, the reporters from before begin to move closer again. (I’m not confident that I’ll put out a good interview right now...) As if to escape from this place, I head to the balcony.
(Like you’d think – Even with a dress made for winter, it’s cold out here...) Even wearing a dress and capelet made of thick fabric, the Sybil night still carries a chill of stinging cold. While shivering, I gaze up at the sky above, and there were stars twinkling over the clear horizon. (Prince Yakov’s speech was absolutely magnificent.) (But...) A little before that speech, I realized that I don’t truly feel like I’m the designer of Sanct Sybil Castle. [Kara]: “...With the way things are now, I wonder if the day I can be honestly called the exclusive designer of this castle will actually come,” I murmured as I vacantly stared deep into the sky, when―
[Yakov]: “―It appears that the party is not to your liking.”
(Huh…?) Turning my head at hearing a voice behind me, I see Prince Yakov walking over in my direction. [Kara]: “Your Highness…” [Kara]: “Is it all right for an honored prince to sneak out of the party?” [Yakov]: “This is merely a small break. I cannot endure such things without at least resting for a moment.” Replying with an indignant look on his face, he comes up to my side. Leaning against the railing to gaze over the courtyard, a small sigh escapes him. [Yakov]: “Every time I pass by someone, I get asked the same things, and then I’m made to answer with the same things over and over again like some sort of cockatoo.” [Kara]: “That... I feel the same about that.” [Kara]: “Every time I have an interview I get asked the same things, and then I just answer with the replies Yuri had prepared for me, over and over again.” Looking over the courtyard like the Prince was, I think back to the things that have happened since I’ve come to this castle. Even though I should be called a “designer”, it’s just pitiful that I can’t receive the essential work for it. [Kara]: “But... that’s the sort of thing I was brought here to do.” [Yakov]: “Are you contempt with that?” [Kara]: “Ah―“
At the Prince’s question, I reply with...
➢ “It’s more a feeling of helplessness.” ❆ ➢ “It’s frustrating, yes.”
➤ for some reason i don’t have the text for the latter choice, rip. maybe i can try coming across it (and the other missing answers) on my bmp2 alt later idk
➢ “It’s more a feeling of helplessness.” ❆
[Kara]: “Rather than feeling contempt... it’s more that I feel helpless about it.” [Yakov]: “’Helpless’?” [Kara]: “Yes. I can’t express anything in my own words― and while it doesn’t mean I haven’t accomplished absolutely anything here...” [Kara]: “At the very least, if I was able to accomplish just one thing by myself, that’d be all right... but I can’t even manage that and I’m just useless.” [Yakov]: “...I see.” I heard a sense of immediate realization in his voice. (I say all of this, but you didn’t ask for such things.) (After all, you said if Lord Nobel was the one recommending me, then that would be enough...)
Thinking such things, I stay silent, when the Prince gives a trace of a wry smile.
[Yakov]: “Certainly... considering someone like yourself, that is simply absurdity.” (Huh...?) With his unexpected reply, I instinctively turn my head in his direction. Meeting my eyes, the Prince continues to speak in a tone... where I could not tell if it was of admiration or of exasperation.
[Yakov]: “I realized it from before when we had conversed in the office―” [Yakov]: “You are the type of person who thinks for oneself, and acts according to their own beliefs and convictions.” [Yakov]: “You do not intend to gain recognition as a designer by adopting someone else’s brilliance and being a mere imitation of them.” [Kara]: “Th-That’s...” The Prince saw right through the misery I’ve been harboring ever since I came to Sybil, and my eyes widen in surprise. His eyebrows knit in apparent suspicion as he stares straight at me.
[Yakov]: “You look as if you want to say something.” [Kara]: “N-No... Your response was just different from what I had expected, so I was surprised.” (―As I didn’t realize that His Highness, in reality, actually understood me a lot...) [Yakov]: “...It is not like I have been at peace with things either.”
[Yakov]: “As the prince of a country, I believe that I have a good judge of character.” [Yakov]: “From your words and actions up to this point... and also from looking at your designs, anyone would have a firm grasp of your character.” [Kara]: “The design sketches... you looked at them?” [Yakov]: “Incidentally, while confirming your documents.” Asserting haughtily, the Prince’s blue irises subtly glint.
[Yakov]: “I know what must be going on in your head. However, even recognizing that – I cannot afford to end this farce.” [Kara]: “Why... is that so?” [Yakov]: “...Things are not limited to only when the country’s desires and my own thoughts are similar.” (That’s...) Opening my mouth, I was about to ask him what he meant by that― But before I could, a voice speaks up from behind me.
[???]: “―Yakov. So you were over here, in a place like this.” [Yakov]: “The King...” (Eh-...the King?!) Turning around, standing over there was the King and Queen. Prince Yakov’s face stiffens and he suddenly bows his head. I follow his lead and bow as well when the Prince’s voice resounds with a rigid tone. [Yakov]: “My sincere apologies. I was getting a bit of fresh air.” [King]: “Is that right...” The King’s direct line of sight casually falls onto me. The Prince takes note of this and he gives a brief introduction. [Yakov]: “The subject before you is the designer I had hired recently.” [King]: “Ah, the one recommended by Lord Nobel, is it?” [King]: “Having secured a connection with Nobel Castle, we are making more and more progress in opening the path towards becoming an ally.” [Yakov]: “...Yes.” At the Prince’s answer, as if remembering something the King continues to speak. [King]: “By the way, what of the new Minister of Foreign Affairs? I heard that the previous Minister on that seat showed considerable resistance upon the notion of dismissal, but...” [Yakov]: “The newly-appointed Minister is doing a favorable job.” [Yakov]: “As he is well-known in other countries, he performs all according to plan.” [Yakov]: “There is no need for concern.” [King]: “I see. Strive to maintain these conditions.” [Yakov]: “Understood.” Satisfied with the Prince’s words, the King takes his leave with the Queen. (...Even though they’re father and son, it’s much more like a chief and his subordinate.) (The life of royalty is like that, huh...?) From the beginning to the end of their businesslike conversation, the Prince and King did not smile at each other. As I recall the uncomfortable feeling that hung over their entire exchange, Prince Yakov speaks with derision towards some part of himself.
[Yakov]: “...Right now, what this country needs is status – One could also call it ‘brand power’.” [Kara]: “’Brand power’...” [Yakov]: “For this country of mine, a country that only recently came into existence, to be on par with a developed country,” [Yakov]: “brand power that can be boasted among the other countries is necessary... That is the current way of thinking for Sanct Sybil.” (But, it doesn’t seem that His Highness himself wants that...) The “farce” he had mentioned earlier, along with the unspoken words he had purposefully left out, appeared to be of Prince Yakov’s true opinions on the matter. (But... Given his position as a prince, I wonder if he just can’t set things in motion based on his true feelings alone?)
➤ ok i get that it’s supposed to be his future job and all but why does it feel like yakov is doing all the legwork for this alliance while the king is sitting in the back eating some doritos. excuse me u seem pretty alive and well portraitless king what are u doing with everyones taxpayer money
Pondering these complicated thoughts, I look up at the Prince – and noticing me, the corners of his lips quirk up.
[Yakov]: “What’s the discontent face for?” [Yakov]: “If I rejoin the party, bringing in a woman that’s sulking like that – I’ll be quite troubled.” [Kara]: “It’s not that... I’m sulking, precisely...” I was about to refute his statement when he takes my hand to cut me off. [Kara]: “P...Prince Yakov...?” [Yakov]: “The piece has changed.” ➤ musical piece fyi [Yakov]: “Let’s go.” [Kara]: “Huh....?!”
Prince Yakov returns to the party venue, and makes his way to the center of the dance hall. [Guest A]: “My, it seems that Prince Yakov is going to dance!” [Guest B]: “I’m so envious of his partner~!”
➤ mmm idk about that one friend really ot but thinking abt it... i shouldve used that one dance cg as the one for this header bc spoilers, there’s no more formal dancing after this....... fuc i assure u this is very important bc there’s only like negative 7 yakov cgs i can use that aren’t riddled with unrelated clothing (weird knight uniform, yukata, apron, no clothes at all, etc.)
(We’re attracting a significant amount of attention... with me, someone who can’t dance at all...) Feeling under pressure from the eyes of the crowd, I inadvertently hang my head. In doing so, Prince Yakov whispers to me at a volume that the surrounding guests would be unable to hear.
[Yakov]: “Even if it is just for this moment – As my partner, you must face up.” [Kara]: “’Partner’…” [Kara]: “I can’t really dance for the most part... Surely, I will humiliate Your Highness.” Even at this point, I want him to stop. I was about to call for his sympathy when I lifted my head up at him, and unexpectedly see his face so close to mine. (Ah…) Illuminated by the glittering chandelier above, Prince Yakov was the most captivating figure out of everyone in the entire hall. His dignified appearance, along with an expression that was brimming with self-confidence― easily stole away my gaze from looking anywhere, anything else.
[Yakov]: “I already know that you cannot dance and the like.” [Yakov]: “Without thinking about unnecessary matters― if you simply look only at me, and leave your body to me – you will be fine.”
[Yakov]: “―So, do not resist me?” Taking my hand, he drops a kiss along my fingertips. His eyes gazed provocatively up at me, and my heart skipped a beat. [Yakov]: “Your face is red, you know.” [Kara]: “Th-That’s, Prince Yakov’s…” [Yakov]: “With that attitude, it shall be all right.”
The piece began to play, and Prince Yakov pulls my waist towards him before slowly stepping in time to the rhythm. In contrast to his high-handed words and demeanor, he leads me gently. (Amazing… even though I honestly believed that I couldn’t dance…) Just by entrusting myself to him, I’ve somehow transformed into the visage of a dancer. (Something about this is really fun…) Having fun at this party for the very first time tonight, a smile begins to naturally bloom on my face, and I nearly tread on Prince Yakov’s foot. However, the Prince elegantly evades my step before knitting his brows, muttering in a low voice.
[Yakov]: “…You truly cannot dance whatsoever.” [Kara]: “D-Didn’t I tell you that before?” [Yakov]: “But, you have the feel for it.” [Yakov]: “After tonight, be sure to practice your dancing.” [Yakov]: “―As there will be more parties akin to this one from this point forward.” (“From this point forward”…?)
At the prince’s words, I…
➢ “I must refuse.” ➢ “Understood.” ❆
➢ “I must refuse.” [Kara]: “I must refuse.” [Kara]: “The level of anxiety I just experienced was already too much to handle.” [Yakov]: “While dancing with me, the look on your face seemed to be as if you were enjoying yourself– so I am not so convinced.” (Ugh... I definitely was having fun dancing with him, thinking about it...) [Yakov]: “Besides- it has also been a long time for me too, enjoying myself while dancing.” ➼
➢ “Understood.” [Kara]: “…Understood. In-between design work, I’ll be sure to practice.” [Kara]: “Dancing is unexpectedly pretty fun.” We conversed quietly as we danced, and it somehow became even more enjoyable like that. The Prince smiles, and pulls me closer with a single sweep. [Yakov]: “Glad to hear that.” [Yakov]: “If you continued sulking about, there would be no point in you taking the time to dress up beautifully.” ➼
➼ (Huh…?) I was surprised by his unexpected words when the piece concluded. With the end of the dance, a large applause was bestowed to the Prince. (I didn’t mishear what he just said, right...?) As I feel my cheeks heating up, the Prince leaves the dance floor. At that same moment, as if on cue – all of the princes of the other nations come and approach me.
[Roberto]: “Your dancing was soo cute!” [Keith]: “Well, for a commoner it was pretty good, huh?” [Keith]: “But if you took a better look, you could see that Prince Yakov taking the lead salvaged the entire thing.” [Edward]: “Not only the dancing - but the dress is quite stunning too.” [Edward]: “It was just as if a snow fairy came to descend from the clouds.” [Kara]: “Th…Thank you.” The Princes of the Six Kingdoms line side-by-side around me, and the atmosphere becomes especially cheerful. (Everyone– for you to treat me, someone who is just barely associated with you all, so kindly and warmly... I’m happy.) Cherishing this joy of getting to meet with the Princes again, Prince Wilfred then raises his voice.
[Wilfred]: “Now, I only heard this... But apparently, you officially became the exclusive designer for Sanct Sybil Castle.” [Glenn]: “Even though you’re still a rookie, to be suddenly put in a position like that of an exclusive designer– You’re amazing, you know.” [Wilfred]: “I think there will be things that you won’t be familiar with, but I’ll be cheering you on. Do your best.” [Kara]: “…Okay!” (There’s someone out there who’s supporting me like this...)
➤ i love.... wilfred...... this is why wil used to be numba won. his POWER so strong they had to create claude to ruin his love life. to weaken that perfection!!
(Let’s do our best while doing things you can manage, bit by bit, in this country.) The Princes spoke to me warmly, and I strengthen my resolve once more. Prince Roberto then strikes up a conversation with Prince Yakov. [Roberto]: “By the way, I heard that Sanct Sybil will be joining the Alliance, hmm?” [Roberto]: “The Alliance hasn’t had any later additions until now, so I’m really looking forward to it.” [Yakov]: “…Mhm. I think the day Sanct Sybil will be on par with your fellow countries is soon approaching.” With Prince Yakov’s statement, the other Princes show their excitement. [Keith]: “If that happens, we’ll definitely have to celebrate, yeah?” [Roberto]: “We’re suuuper happy that we’re gaining new companions.” [Yakov]: “I am grateful for such words, but the first step is going through the discussion regarding the deliberation.” Prince Yakov’s face hardens. Seeing this, Prince Glenn then brings up something he seemed to have remembered. [Glenn]: “Speaking of which, being a member of the Alliance has all sorts of conditions to meet, right?”
[Joshua]: “That’s right.” [Joshua]: “The terms - like the stability of the economy and of public safety - are fully detailed in the treaty.”
➤ i was this close to just not giving joshua his screencap time bc this boi.... bloody useless this episode- we still stan u riceball king.... but still
[Wilfred]: “First, the most important requisite is that the country must be stable; if a major incident or form of discord comes up, it seems that one will lose their qualification to join.” [Wilfred]: “Well, there hasn’t been a case like that so far, but.” [Joshua]: “I would think that things along the lines of an ‘incident’, and prominent matters that arise, just do not happen, alas.” (Joining the Alliance is a difficult thing, huh...) I think for that reason alone, Prince Yakov thus has no choice but to act in accordance with the country’s policies. I think about that, when I hear Prince Roberto pipe up in a bright tone. [Roberto]: “Well, regardless~ I was really surprised by the cold of Sanct Sybil, but…” [Roberto]: “I was also surprised by how lively the town by this castle was.” [Joshua]: “He’s right. You can feel the passion of the country from it.” [Glenn]: “I think it might be because it hasn’t been that much time since the country unified, but it has an ambiance to it that the other six countries don’t have.” [Keith]: “The people working in this castle too only consist of those who’ve made a name for themselves. It’s to the point where I want that sorta thing for my place.” [Edward]: “I’m looking forward to the day Sanct Sybil joins us.” [Yakov]: “…Mhm.” Prince Yakov nods, and the other Princes encourage him with their smiles. Then, Prince Roberto, looking out the window, cries loudly.
[Roberto]: “Snow…! Everyone, look! There’s snow falling.” (Huh…?) Spurred on by Prince Roberto I shift my eyes to look out the window, and within the darkness, I see snowflakes fluttering about in their descent. [Wilfred]: “I think it only makes sense that it would get this cold. It seems Sanct Sybil has the earliest winter season out of all the other countries.” [Roberto]: “It’ll pile up ‘til tomorrow, right? If so, I wanna have a snowball fight~!” [Glenn]: “I’m not a child, so…”
While the Princes get noisy in their lively chatter – Coming over to my side, Prince Yakov smiles with a light huff. [Yakov]: “As one would expect, it will not accumulate up until tomorrow, but over the next few days, it will all become a snowy landscape.” [Kara]: “How pretty…” [Yakov]: “I am used to such a sight, so I do not feel particularly moved by it in any way.” [Yakov]: “As you live in this country, soon you too will get used to seeing it.” [Kara]: “Is that right… I think I’ll definitely get used to it, soon enough.” (When I had listened to Prince Yakov’s speech, I felt that I was listening to the words regarding a faraway country, but...) Listening to the princes’ conversations and words of encouragement, I now truly feel that I am indeed here to be the designer of Sanct Sybil. Smiling at Prince Yakov, I get to enjoy the first snow with the Princes for this brief moment―
To be continued...
(Letter)
From: Yakov Title: Go Practice
While dancing, I was astonished when it seemed very likely that my feet were going to be trampled on– but you appear to have some sort of potential. Dancing with you was not bad, no. Additionally... your dress was also not too bad. As the designer of Sybil Castle... you have passed.
―Yakov
Next Episode...
“But, why are you in a place like this?”
....how does yuri bother to dye those brows red every time. dedication to the craft i suppose
lol sorry about this one. i feel that ep 3 is even shoddier than what i usually put out, but when i finished ep 2 i already had a good chunk of ep 3 done so i wanted to get it over with bc this ep is mostly bad/awkward vibes ehehe
i think the next chunk will maybe be just ep 4 + special story 1. i want to include each ver of the special story (so 3 versions) so........ might take a good minute to do but idk we’ll see tbh i wanted to put ep 4 in this chunk so special story 1 could be by itself but i figured some of u would prefer to have more frequent updates. it’s been over a week since the last one so i felt like that was a bit long of a wait after just episode 1
Again, thanks for reading!
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Recent Media Consumed
Books
The Medium-Sized Book of Zim Scripts: Vol. 1: Pigs ’n’ Waffles by Eric Trueheart. What a ride. Love what Trueheart can do with a sentence, even if it often leaves me baffled and laughing nervously. It was great, not only to see how some of the episodes came about, but some of the jokes that never made it to screen or pitches that got nixed early on. There’s snippets of lore and ongoing correction for the Zim Wiki and randomness coming out the ears. This is definitely a surreal read and loads of fun. I waited until the physical copy was available because I’ll take a book in my hands over Kindle any day. No regrets. Here’s hoping he really will do a volume 2 (about the episodes that he CO-wrote, as opposed to this book about his solo ventures).
Misreading Scripture with Western Eyes by E. Randolph Richards and Brandon J. O’Brien. Alternately infuriating and genuinely challenging with occasional confirmations of what I thought. I’m not completely sure I can rest on everything these authors say. They are very helpful in that they point out the things that “go without saying” in Western culture that blind me to original intent in scripture. However, I’m not confident they’re free from alternate bias in their interpretations. Western culture is often belittled in comparative examples. While we have many flaws, I don’t think the authors gave a fair assessment of many traits they belittled. On the flipside, I also was made aware for the first time of the cost (the things we’ve lost or exchanged) FOR some of those strengths, and it did stagger me. I take this book with a grain of salt, but it has been very helpful in pointing out where I put on “Western blinders” in reading the Bible.
Unoffendable by Brant Hansen. Within the first couple of chapters I found myself (of course, of course) offended. However, I made myself listen. And. Yes. So much yes. So, this book, in a nutshell, postulates that while Christians are seen as one of the most easily offendable groups out there, we’re actually called from the get-go, by the One who we claim to serve, to be unoffendable. That when we have our natural reaction of anger, that we do not get to hold onto it even if the other person is insulting us, even if the other person is “wrong! wrong! wrong!” even if the other person is abrasive. Hansen claims that even what we know as “righteous anger” is not a right that WE have, it is only a right that God has, and that we’ve twisted things in order to justify holding onto anger even though it’s explicitly contradicted in scripture. My initial “Hey wait a minute!” had to do with the psych books that tell me all about how anger is an early warning sign that someone has violated your boundaries, but having listened to Hansen, I don’t think his idea contradicts that. He stresses that right action should always be taken, but without the impetus of anger. Justice should be pursued, but without anger. Boundaries enforced, but without anger. Without offense. This is a shorter book, but very interesting (he has a great sense of humor, very self-aware style), and I’ll have to mull over the things he’s said.
Movies
Tarzan (Disney animated). Been a very long time since I’ve seen this. The fluidity of animation and the stirring soundtrack are my favorite bits. I’m mesmerized by the jaguar and by Tarzan’s motions on screen, more snakelike than humanoid/feline.
Uprising. A miniseries depiction of how untrained Jews in the Warsaw ghetto held off the German army for a pretty long time. It’s been a while since I watched any WWII movies, it’s still hard for me. But this was excellent. And it leads into how I ended up watching:
The Eternal Jew. A sub-plot in “Uprising” followed the filming of Nazi propaganda film “The Eternal Jew”. In lengthy conversation with my husband, I mentioned I was curious because in all my time consuming media about the Holocaust I had never actually seen original Nazi propaganda (beyond brief glances in museums), which feels like a major lapse if you take the topic seriously. So he took the time to track down a copy with English subtitles and we roped in our housemate to watch it (if you’re having trouble finding it, check the Internet Archives historical section). The three of us turned watching this one hour film into a five hour viewing session interspersed with pauses for lengthy discussion. My recall-and-regurgitate functions do not work very well to cover all that we talked about, but it was a very good and productive discussion. A couple things I recall being taken aback by was that the rhetoric in this film was A) not “TOTALLY UTTERLY OBVIOUSLY FALSE” or as idiotically reasoned out of thin air as I thought it would be (in fact it was often based on some distorted understanding of actual Jewish culture) B) centered just as much on economics as race, if not MORE centered on economics, and C) echoes a lot of similar rhetoric from political organizations today that utterly and completely disavows the party that produced this film. Except this film came first. That… disturbs me.
Shows
24. I remember my high school geometry teacher being obsessed with this show, and several years later I watched a few episodes with my then-boyfriend here and there. I sat down to watch season one through with my now-husband and whoah. I have never enjoyed a show that produces this level of cortisol in me as much as I enjoy this show. I will definitely have to take breaks in between seasons but I want to watch them all now. I just have to make sure I have enough yarn to get through, because I stress-crochet to the max while watching. Pretty sure I work faster while watching this show. Expect more blankets from me. (by the end of season 1) There is not one single feel left unsquashed. Pray for my doomed soul, I have seven seasons to go.
Infinity Train season 3. aaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaAAAAAAAAA everything HUUUUUUURTS WHY.
Anime
Love Live. Dropped after 3 eps. Not my cup of tea.
Fanfiction
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. I needed to sink into fantasy and check out from reality for a while so I plunged into a re-read of the best Harry Potter fanfiction I’ve ever read. A story that, yes, I find better than canon in pretty much every regard. I blew through it in about two weeks, now I need to find something else to sink into for a while, I think. Or maybe this mood merits a library haul. And now I want to check out the other rational writings of the site this author hails from, lesswrong.com, and see if I can learn the methods of rationality.
#recent media consumed#child loves movies#child loves books#child loves fanfiction#child loves anime#wrestling with God#controversial child
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top 5 debbie/ruth moments?
oh tough because first of all every moment between them is my favorite, but here’s what I’m feeling tonight, in no particular order.
1)
that entire fight scene at the hospital in 2x07. the whole series was building there, to them finally communicating more honestly, and it was just such a powerful, cathartic scene between the two of them.
this is cheating but I'm also counting a later moment as part of #1 because reasons
i love that moment when debbie comes back later in the ep with ruth’s clothes and asks to sign ruth’s cast but is so nervous and vulnerable she can’t even say the word sign she just says “can i s....” and just looks at ruth the whole time that she’s taking the pen from bash and waits for the okay. they can never really apologize to each other, ruth doesn't apologize for having sex w mark and debbie only apologizes in sharpie from the leg break but you just see how deeply they understand each other here and how at the end of the day they always come back to each other and take each other back (just like sheila’s parents bc ruth and debbie are paralleled to married people jeez GLOW yeah you can go ahead and parallel them to more married couples I’m fine with that thx)
2)
the whole 3x10 airport scene. throughout the series, debbie shows how deeply she cares about ruth but it’s rly always under the guise of it being about wrestling or this or that. finally in that airport moment, debbie’s basically saying “hey i care about you and i finally want you to really see that and I choose you because I want the best for you and i want the best for me and the best for me is with you..” (or something) and there’s just something incredibly powerful about the way the series builds to that moment too.
i also find it so interesting how they once again discuss happiness and how much the meaning of that one word has shifted over the series (they also discuss happiness in their scenes in 1x01, 2x07, 2x10, and prob other times i’ve forgotten).
also i love the hug, i mean we were waiting for it to happen again since the pilot.
i love that we finally get to see that ruth isn’t going to passively take what others give her. (we know she’ll find her way back to debbie in the end, she always does).
and ruth saying that debbie understands ruth more than anyone?!! this scene did that. i mean, we knew this in subtext, but this season took so much in subtext and made it text, and it all felt so earned. also the fact that Debbie says to Tex earlier in the ep that she could never say to Ruth what she legit ends up saying to Ruth in the end of the ep about Ruth’s acting...I...that’s so interesting. Like, yeah, Debbie truly does understand Ruth better than anyone, that is for sure. She legit predicted that Ruth’d say no here but was too excited and hopeful to think otherwise.
also debbie eagan who doesn’t like to be vulnerable w ppl or give up her power/control EVER, who has said stuff like i never want to see you again to ruth in the pilot, who said in 1x03 she’d throw ruth out a window if ruth talked to her again, legit running after ruth in an airport? invented romance, invented growth. what a dumbass, i love them both.
3)
1x04 pool scene. debbie can’t be in the same building w her husband but moments later chooses to stay for however long in silence w ruth...uh yeahh just the best. she has to act like she hates ruth because she knows that she shouldn’t care about ruth any more and she feels so powerless since her whole identity as housewife has been shattered that her hatred gives her a sense of control and power in ways, but in moments like these when she doesn’t have to act and have a mask on to protect herself because no one is watching, you see how much she cares and what ruth means to her.
i love so much about this scene, the way silence and sound are used and it feels so intimate. i love the pool in between them, showing the gaping emotional distance between them.
it’s also such a contrast to those scenes w Mark who is always imposing on debbie what he wants at his pace rather than hers like therapeutic leans and wanting to sleep in their house but w ruth, debbie gets to choose the speed to which they come back together and is willing to be whatever debbie wants and takes debbie (her pain, her career, her as a person) seriously, so they actually get a chance to heal while debbie and mark fall apart in the end...yeahh
4)
1x09 that scene where debbie says what wrestling means to her and how she feels like a superhero (which becomes something they come back to again and again in the series) and you can tell ruth and debbie are still so fucked up but you can also see how deeply they need each other.
like they’re so playful in the start of the convo?? and in the end can’t help but have an honest conversation even though they shouldn’t, even though ruth has hurt debbie so much, she can’t help but open up to ruth. and ruth thinks debbie’s going to abandon ruth (and GLOW) for mark, can’t seem to hear what debbie’s saying bc of insecurity (Debbie really just needs advice about what to do with Mark because she has no one else to talk to but Ruth can’t hear that), and it’s just such a perfect scene filled with miscommunication and need and the epicness of Debbie’s description of wrestling and the epicness of how Ruth listens with such intense longing and love and she’s just so proud of Debbie too and then that painful discovery “Sometimes I'm so sad you took away the option of us ever being able to have a normal fucking conversation.” I think we see both ruth and debbie’s insecurities and fears here in a lot of ways throughout this scene but also we see their connection and how they listen to each other and need each other...also omg they look at each other with soooo much love and longing jfc especially before Ruth looks away and she cuts herself off from speaking...it’s insane.....yeah i love this scene.
oh also the look of brief horror as ruth arrives at a lone debbie at the beginning of the scene, which I screenshotted above, where she realizes she’s stopped at debbie’s side and her face just screams, “oh nooo oh goddd!!” incredible. and the doorway thingy that visually separates them which happens a lot in the series, there are a lot of visual separations to go with their emotional distance.
anyway, they’re testing the waters here. they’ve opened up to each other while wrestling because wrestling requires trust and communication, and this scene gives them an opportunity to test the waters with each other outside of that.
5)
I think my favorite episode of the entire series is 1x07. In terms of favorite moment from that ep, it’d prob be the part where ruth and debbie describe what they want from wrestling. debbie says she wants to fly (again goes back to the superhero thing and i love the callback that occurs in 1x10 bc ruth pays attention to debbie’s wants here and says “you flew” at the end of their match in the finale). ruth says she wants the whole room to boo her, such a change over a few eps, the people pleaser who wants to be booed bc she just wants to make herself look bad to try and heal things w debbie and starts to find freedom and power in playing the bad guy.
And the two are soo in sync as Carmen’s brothers show Ruth and Debbie various moves. Like they have the same reaction the whole time and confer with each other and it’s so cute?? And Debbie gets so excited as she sees something she wants to do and Ruth is so excited for her: “That. I want to do that.”
Like, ruth is just so excited to see how debbie’s grown and how empowered debbie has become because of wrestling. Adorable. and it’s super cute to see how ruth looks at debbie throughout the scene and just tries to be there for debbie. And, how much debbie trusts ruth with her body and safety and they just learn to communicate and explore what they want from their bodies together (such a difference from that 1x01 exercise scene where they’re all doing the same boring moves). like i love how empowering that scene is for them as individuals and together ok.
Like, Ruth is Debbie’s #1 fan just look at her lil face in the screenshots above. She looks at her like that the whole episode. I just...
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Homicide Life on the Street
I just finished watching the movie that rounded up the series and I’m feeling a little emotional. Hiding behind a cut because no one wants to read this right now.
I watched the last 6 eps of season 7 today and then watched the 2000 movie which is in youtube. To say I’m slightly emotional right now is the understatement of the decade. If there are any typos it’s because I’m typing through tears. I also can’t breath because my nose is bunged up and my eyes now hurt from the pressure in my head from the crying. This also may not be very coherant.
I’m emotional because this was the end of a series which I started watching when I was about 16 or 17 years old back in 1995 or 1996. It was my first real ‘fandom’. Not my first slash fandom, that came later after I had gone to university, found the internet and found the thing that would become the biggest thing in my life. But HLots was the first real obsession, before slash, before pairings, before fic. I’d loved shows and characters before, thinking back I was pretty much a tv fiend since I was about 4 or 5 years old. Gentle Ben I think was my first tv love, so long ago I can barely even guarantee that was the right show. All I can remember is turning on to watch it one day and refusing to because he didn’t look right. His beard had gone, or something and apparently I didn’t believe it was him. The it was Knight Rider, Airwolf, The A Team and so on for the next ten years or so (well thirty seven to count).
But Homicide caught me. Mid teens. I loved the characters, the stories, the look and feel. It was earthly, intriguing, dark and different. I remember boring friends at Uni talking about it so much (the ones I knew would listen anyway). I lost some of my interest as University brought with it it’s own focus; uni life, love, friends and of course no TV! I got my parents to tape it for me at home but I lost chunks of it when they forgot or didn’t bother. Still, I never forgot my first obsession even though I didn’t return to it until recently, nearly twenty five years later.
I never saw the end of the show and now I’ve seen all 7 seasons I don’t think I ever saw the start either. I watched around season 4 and 5 with bits of 3 maybe. Now looking back I wonder how quickly I loved and how much I actually saw back then. I barely remembered many of the episodes I’ve watched over the last three weeks, some stood out; Thrill of the Kill and Hate Crimes specifically. (I think was because when I was a teenager to enable me to ‘watch’ my favourite tv I would record them onto audio cassette so I could listen to them in bed or in the car - great for taking on holiday! And because I’d watched them I could see them in my head - ingenious or what?!I think these were two episodes I had on tape which I could then record).
I remember the Waterfront and Dr Cox and Kellerman being under suspicion but not for what. I remember seeing Bayliss tell Pembleton about his childhood abuse but the rest of the stories are missing. I remember the layout of the squadroom, the board, the box (who’s idea was it to turn that into Gee’s office in the seventh season?!?! Ugh) and the coffee room.
So essentially I’m really upset right now because something that was so important to me as a teenager has now concluded. And in such a sad way (everything is going blurry again). I’m not going to lie, when I watched as a teen it was Bayliss who was my favourite (lets face it Kyle Secor was gorgeous back then - still is but that’s another story) and his relationship with Frank which was for me the draw of the show. I liked all the characters, some more than others and it was the way the whole show was put together; look, sound, feel. Watching it through now, Bayliss is still my favourite, Frank still amazing but I enjoyed the other characters more, I paid more attention to Lewis and Kellerman (yes I’m slashing them) and Munch and Howard and even Felton, Crosetti and Bolander who I think had pretty much come out of it by the time I’d started watching originally.
Watching the show now I’ve also been able to watch with a slasher’s eyes, something I didn’t have back then. I was always drawn to the partnership between Frank and Tim but I’d never paired them because I didn’t have the language or the knowledge that you could do that. I’d been intrigued by gay storylines in shows, those that were starting to emerge on tv in the 90s but it had never crossed my mind that you could ‘pair characters’ outside of the ‘canon’ (and I’m talking het as well as slash here). So this time I’ve been watching Frank and Tim and especially Tim and his relationship with Frank. Watching now I can see the love and the adoration that he has for Frank grow over the 6 seasons they were together and despite it being unrequited it’s quite easy to see that as a canon love story. I believe I’ve read somewhere that Kyle did actually approach it as Bayliss being in love with Frank (when I’m more together I’ll try and find where I read it) and watching it, I can very much believe that.
Which is what made the movie so difficult to watch. Watching Bayliss slowly fall apart. Turn to Frank at the end when they’d caught Gee’s shooter. The scene on the roof at the end when Bayliss is confessing what he has done to Frank and the way that scene plays out. The complete inability for Frank to comprehend what Tim is telling him, to comprehend that Tim has killed someone, not just in self defence or as a cop related shooting but as a murder. A cold blooded murder (Tim used the word execution and their difference in vocab is specific). He can’t understand, gets angry (righteously) that Tim has put this on him. When Tim pleads with him to take him in or he will likely eat his gun, has thought about it before, can’t marry up his heart with his head (knows in his heart he was right but in his head he can’t accept what he has done), Frank can’t do it. Despite knowing, seeing that Tim has threatened to end his life if he doesn’t. I can’t accept that as the ending to their partnership. It stings. It hurts (blurry eyes again). After all that they’ve gone through in the past 6 years it’s upsetting that it finishes here. I’m not going to lie. I hated when Frank left at the end of season 6. I hate this a hundred times more.
When the name goes to blue on the board, I assume we are meant to understand that Tim has indeed confessed/been taken in. By Frank? His words to Mike in Gee’s office seem to indicate so ‘good at catching the bad guys...caught me a couple tonight.’
...and I can’t....to hear Frank refer to Tim as a bad guy just breaks my heart into tiny pieces (oh god my nose is never going to unstuff at this rate). To be honest, that out of the whole film is what I can’t get over. And why I’m so upset I think. It really fucking hurts.
And then. And then we get the scene of Gee in the afterlife, going into the squadroom and seeing all the people from the past, his life and the stations. Little Adena skipping past. And then seeing Felton and Crosetti in the coffee room (as it was thank god). And then the chair. The fourth chair (oh god I’m off again). Gee asks but they don’t know who it’s for, ‘we don’t know yet’ says Beau, ‘but they’ll here sooner or later.’ Gee worries about his son (he’s a foot cop now) but to me, I take that to mean be for Bayliss. He threatened his life and when Crosetti says ‘it’s not like it’s written in stone, it’s not preordained or anything.’ My brain took that to mean that if Bayliss is in custody, that won’t stop him from eventually taking his life, either in jail or on bail if he’s allowed it.
So this had been the ending tonight of a very very long fandom arch. I’m emotionally battered and bruised and feeling rather strange. I want to return to season 1 ep 1 straight away (that’s what I did with Starsky and Hutch every time I finished season 4, immediately pop the first ep in again and start over) but I’mn not sure I’m ready. I’m not sure I could watch fresh faced Tim enter that squad room, knowing where he’ll end up in seven years time.
I loved seeing everyone come back for the movie, even for the brief scenes most of them had, it was enough (why oh why didn’t Kellerman have any scenes with Lewis though??). Cox and Griscom over Gee’s bedside? Excellent! Kellerman shovelling food down whilst Mike beats up suspects? Awesome! The knowledge that they go back to the squad room in the afterlife? Beautiful if emotionally traumatic.
It’s going to take me a long time to get over this but suffice to say this was one of the best shows ever made. I didn’t like season 7 or the new characters much and the show was definitely at it’s best earlier on when it was in it’s original and intended format but even later on it still beats the pants off most of the shows made then and today.
#homicide life on the street#boxset watching#old fandoms#tim bayliss#frank pembleton#slash#hlots#homicide the movie#long post#posted whilst still crying#incoherent posting
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this is what riverdale is about (part 4)
part 1
part 2
part 3
i’m back, to continue from where we left off. obnoxiously, i’m going to take a minute to plug my patreon, which is primarily for my webcomic but i also do movie reviews and talk about bad books i find so if you like these posts, you’ll probably like those as well. all i ask....is one dollar a month.
anyway fuck that let’s get back into this.
images are from the riverdale wiki
SEASON ONE (PART 2):
the last picture show: immediately this show reveals that our beloved jughead has been living in a nearly abandoned drive-in that he also works at. too bad for him, because it’s closing down. hilariously, literally nobody in his circle of friends cares and call his make-shift house a crack den. owned. its revealed an anonymous buyer purchased it from the town and the mayor decided to sell it to whoever.
archie brings flowers to his teacher-girlfriend’s recital and when he and grundy (and his dad) head to pop’s for a good ol malt or whatever, betty confronts him about his relationship. betty is hurt when he says grundy believed in him when no one else did and goes home with renewed purpose: take grundy down.
veronica’s mom is caught having a heated argument with a member of the southside serpents gang next to a dumpster by cheryl who, as she delights in misery and disaster, captures it all on camera. she shows veronica, who confronts her mother who brushes her off.
betty lures grundy into a fake interview for her school paper instead of going to the police. betty seems to be determining all of this based on the fact that she didnt have any social media until a year ago, which really makes me question betty’s journalistic bonefides. its framed like this means she didn’t exist before she got a twitter or whatever. its really weird. more relevant is that the only record of a geraldine grundy.....WAS AN OLD WOMAN WHO DIED 7 YEARS AGO!!!!! she takes this information to archie as well, who doesn’t care at all. he’s way too horny to care.
betty breaks into grundy’s vw bug and finds a gun and her real i.d. with her real name. archie is still too horny to care, even though betty (again, really overstepping her journalistic bounds) says that grundy might have killed jason (BASED ON THE EXISTENCE OF A GUN BETTY!!! COME ON). archie finally asks grundy straight up what the fuck is going on and she cops to trying to escape from an abusive husband, hence the gun and fake names.
jughead finds out that archie’s dad’s construction company won the bid to destroy the drive-in. its a bad time to be jughead. he tries to ask archie’s dad not to tear down the drive-in. through this convo we learn that jughead’s dad was fired from andrews construction several years ago for theft. a scene after this reveals that veronica’s mom is facilitating the purchase of the drive-in with the mayor pn behalf of her incarcerated husband.
i’m so glad the wiki reminded me of this line, word for word: everyone (and i mean literally everyone in town) goes to the drive-in for one last hurrah, where the southside serpents are guffawing up a storm. veronica somehow silences them by saying “You know what happens to a snake when a Louboutin heel steps on it? Shut the hell up or you’ll find out.“ it sucks so bad. veronica then witnesses her mother having an encounter with the same gang member who she is revealed to be paying to drive down the value of the drive-in property so hiram lodge can buy it for cheap.
archie and grundy are caught in a passionate embrace after betty’s mom reads her diary and goes on the warpath, rightfully telling her to get the fuck out of town or she’ll reveal her to be a child molester. grundy agrees to leave and archie is heartbroken. the last show of geraldine this season is her ogling two teen boys. horrible. leave, woman.
jughead leaves his shitty home and on his way out is accosted by the same gang member who was talking to hermoine lodge and is revealed to be....JUGHEADS DAD!!!!!!!!!! whatever.
heart of darkness: the town is abuzz with jason’s upcoming funeral and the teens of riverdale are fighting over who gets to take the dead kids spot as captain of the football team in a really normal and not at all super ghoulish way. archie is working his heart out now that his favorite teacher/pedophile has fled town. he has his time wasted by a member of the pussycats, valerie, who nets him a meeting with a music songwriter who tells archie he doesn’t have time for his shit. its a weird and totally pointless scene in the long run. it doesnt matter because archie’s music thing never comes to anything. the guy tells archie later, when he returns with sheet music, that his songs suck shit and he hates his music and to get out of his office.
jason and polly’s (betty’s sister) relationship seems to be at the center of whatever happened to jason, so betty starts asking around town about her sister, by using dates as a cover to ask probing questions to members of the football team. she also tries asking her father, who explains that polly and jason had a fight, polly tried to kill herself and so was shipped off to a mental institution. learning about jason’s death fucked her up again so they shan’t be exposing her to more sordid info about the events. the only information they get is that jason was selling drugs to raise money to leave town.
betty and jughead trace this thread to find out why jason would want to leave town but veronica is already finding out firsthand after she is invited to the blossom mansion for the world’s worst sleepover before the memorial (cool timing): the blossoms are all insane. they make their money on maple syrup, using the funds to build riverdale as we know it. veronica and cheryl bond over their awful parents and versonic encourages cheryl to act out at jason’s memorial FOR SOME REASON. KNOWING FULL WELL WHO CHERYL IS.
demonstrating extremely normal judgement, betty and jughead plan to raid jason’s room during the memorial to find clues. cheryl goes full hamlet, throwing herself on the coffin and weeping during her eulogy. they use this as cover to sneak away and go commit the worst social faux-pax you truly can do. however, they are interrupted by cherly’s senile grandmother, nana rose, who mistakes her for polly and reveals polly and jason were engaged.
betty takes this information to her father who reveals he already knows but forbid the arrangement because the blossoms and the coopers have been trying to kill each other for decades over the whole maple syrup empire thing. betty and jughead later suspect her dad broke into the sheriff's office to steal his files related to uhhh everything i guess; a hunch which turns out to be correct.
meanwhile veronica’s mom is sent a live snake by the serpent gang, calls big strong fred andrews to come save her and then asks him for a job.
faster pussycats! kill! kill!: first of all fuck, the name of this ep.
archie, for some reason because i guess he doesn’t know what embarrassment is, decides he’s going to play an original song he wrote for the school talent show. he immediately gets stage fright at the try-outs and wusses out. veronica goes behind his back to sign him up anyway. thanks, asshole!
valerie, from the last ep, quits the pussycats because josie is slightly more stressed than usual about uhhh the talent show. also because she has a crush on archie for some reason.
hermoine, while acting as fred andrews’ new secretary, realizes he’s fucking BROKE. why’d he hire her? who knows. too late now. she suggests firing some people (for example............her, maybe, fred) but fred cant bear it...and is hoping to be saved by the newest construction job he doesn’t know that hermoine is manipulating under the table. much like his son, fred is now too horny to care and they make out while veronica watches awkwardly.
the remaining pussycats try to figure out what to do about their missing member problem. josie’s mom helpfully lays out that they need a strong woman of color, but not one prettier or more talented than josie. enter...VERONICA!!! who is miffed because archie replaced her with valerie in the talent show duet. veronica is now scientifically less pretty and talented than josie by show standards, which just rules because i love thinking that there are teen power rankings in riverdale.
betty and jughead make their way to visit polly at The Sisters Of Quiet Mercy which is literally the best name for a goth cover band in the world. surprise! polly is pregnant with jason’s baby. polly reveals she and jason planned to run away together, but she was caught by her parents and sent away. she then awkwardly asks how jason is and someone has to break the news to her.
josie’s dad makes a brief appearance, which i absolutely do not remember at all. i thought he only showed up in season 3 which makes mayor mccoys character arc way more awkward. anyway, the mccoy family, the andrews and the lodges all have dinner together to discuss business and its awkward as all hell. no one at the table likes the andrews.
betty straight up asks her dad if he killed jason and her mom laughs her ass off at the idea of betty’s soft white suburban ham shank looking dad being able to kill a weed much less a human. keep that in mind.
veronica’s mom forges veronica signature on a form allowing andrews construction to move ahead with the job.
jughead and betty kiss after talking about how they arent their parents. keep that in mind. anyway, betty takes jughead to a car polly mentioned that full of EVIDENCE. they take picture of it and leave the car to go tell the sheriff because i guess suddenly no one has cellphones. jughead and betty return with the sheriff later to find the car has been light up by an unknown person. almost immediately after, bughead tries to rescue polly at the institution only to find she’s already bailed. welp.
josie and valerie make up and all four pussycats perform. josie’s dad walks out on her performance? harsh. cool dad moves.
archie sings and the crowd loves it. who gives a shit.
a kid died, guys. come on.
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Gentleman Jack 1x03
Alright so I had meant to get back to this sooner, but things happen and were we are. I also realize there are a few others that have done similar to this, and they have amazing and far more intellectual and elegant and analytical words for this type of thing. Mine is far more, uh, "I like this because of blah blah blah." Anyway...
1) Fresh from the Lake District, our Ann(e)s find themselves in some lovely conversation only to be interrupted by some Rawson relations. Ann would much rather in with Anne, alone, and it is very clear when she answers Mrs Rawson. "Oh, Miss Lister, you're here. We can leave..." Ann "Oh, if you'd like" HA. Bye bitch, don't let the door hit you on the way out. But alas, they stay. And then Anne flirts, in front of her mother and Ann with Miss Rawson. Ann does this little eyebrow raise, almost like she's thinking over what Anne says, so cute. And originally I was burnt to hell about there being no show of the Lake District trip, but after reading the companion book, Anne didn't go/meet up with Ann there, so I guess that makes sense. But still. Seeing Ann light up would have been very swoon worthy.
2) I keep forgetting to mention how much I love the intro. I never skip it, even after watching it as many times as I have. The only other opening I never skipped was GoT. So. Good job on that one, music/sound team.
3) I don't know French, but Elizabeth Cordingley's complete butcher of it still cracks me up. Any French speakers reading this? Does she even make sense? Is she understandable at all?
4) This little sneaky walk to the "shed" is cute. Obviously Anne has planned it, but Ann is oblivious. And Ann talking about the Ainsworth's. It's like she's hoping Anne will approve of putting them off. At first, we just assume it's because Ann just wants to travel with Anne. But of course, later we realize (at least how I took it) that Ann would rather Mr. Asshole not be anywhere near her. Man, the way the writing sets up everything is just too perfect. Anyway...Ann's (Sophie's) delighted face when she sees the chaumiere! So adorkable. How can you not fall in love with her? Anne totally is, that's for sure lol We get our first two lip licks here (07:12 and 07:54) with Ann being nervous but trying not to be. Suppose it's more anticipation. But she was ready for that damn kiss. She even leaned in, but of course, Anne knows how to draw out that moment, and it makes it even more satisfying. And then the little tongue thing after from Ann. (9:34) It just slays me.
5) A quick "thank you James" and then an up against the door kiss. HNNG. And "...stay all night." GURL. Talk about the Thirst. Went from first kiss to that in .002 seconds. LOVE. IT. It even throws Anne off. And she plans her conquests out. But you can tell Ann was moving FAR quicker than she'd anticipated. It's like Anne didn't even have to try. lol She has to court so hard with these other women, and then here goes little Miss Ann Walker, all but throwing herself at Anne LOL def wife material.
(this is really long, so I’m drop this here)
6) I love spaztastic Marian. I think I love it most because her character was so different in GoT. Much more like Anne's. And here she's so NOT that lol. Emma plays the part so well. Everyone does. God I love this show. The spat at the table was great, with Marian being Marian and Anne trying not to smile through it all. Such perfect sibling dynamic.
7) Captain Lister about to spill the tea and Anne walks in and is like "we don't fight" LOL then continues to lay the verbal smack down to Jeramiah, like "did I fucking stutter with my price?" Anne def has the biggest balls of them all.
8) "Will you tell Calligula" LMAO just great little line. And random, but why doesn't Marian sport the weird little curls at her ears like everyone else does? I think she had them like, once, in ep 1? and that's been it. Just curious about that.
9) Ann asks Anne a few times "are you all right" and of course, Anne's answer to everyone else is always "I'm always all right." but I'm almost certain, Anne always answers Ann with some type of explanation. (there is the 'nothing' before Ann goes to Scotland, but more of that when we get to that episode, and she does still answer. MY HEART). But from what I can remember, Anne doesn't front with Ann that she's "all right". She gives her something, she's open. She's still trying to be strong, but she allows that softness too. Which brings me to probably one of my most favorite kisses of theirs. Its just so slow, and tender, and it's almost a side kiss, and just idk. It's very beautiful. ALSO I noticed this time, that after the kiss, both of their hands are on the back of the chair, and their fingers/pinkies are touching (29:50) It's brief and you almost miss it, but damn. I need that giffed. gif'd? gif'ed? as a gif. It's just too precious. They cant kiss more because of where they are and Anne is about to leave, but their hands are hidden and they just need that little bit more of contact and its just HNNG.
10) I love Aunt Anne. She's just a treasure and she love Anne so much and wants her to truly be happy. And I totally want to start saying "off you pop" LOL
11) Okay, so even though the Ann(e)s have done a LOT together, it just feels like this dinner is their official first date. They both dress up, it's dinner, Ann is nervous again and she's rambling and it's so adorkable and Anne thinks so too and just smiles as she waits for Ann to get to her point. Then there's still some nervousness with after dinner tea, and Anne is like, well, first date done, time for the big one with a reassuring leg squeeze...and Ann gets to the very idea of it being a marriage on her own! Cue floored Anne once again. I swear every time Ann surprises Anne, she falls more in love with her little Miss Walker. Ann is doing the lip lick think (38:59) and omg the way she says, and especially her face for, "give birth" is just as great as the first time. That should be a gif too LOL
12) Fucking John Booth going to the wrong damn house! Come on dude, are you even paying attention to what/were your mistress goes?? Facepalm for days. I think that actually happened though, if I'm not mistaken (it's been a minute since I read the companion book, and I read it at like 3am, and slept since...but if not, whatevs.)
13) OMG the full blown make out! Complete with some grubbling!! I find it interesting though, that Ann has Anne stop, as it becomes "too much" yet she had been asking her to stay all night. I wonder if this is a nod to how indecisive Ann was, or if she just didn't quite understand how overly emotional the physical stuff would make her. Either way, we end up with FIVE (5) nervous lip licks here, folks. It was a hard scene to not blink through, and lots of 10 sec rewinds to catch it all (42:13, 42:37, 42:44, 42:46, and a half one but I count it anyway at 43:00. I think I got those times correct, anyway. Just watch the whole scene, really.) And then we end it was Anne's 4th wall break and Ann asking what she's looking at LOL I know there's talk about wanting Ann to have some 4th wall breaks in season 2, and as much as I would love that as well, it's sorta almost a joke that everyone has it BUT Ann. So, even if she doesn't in s2, I won't be horribly disappointed, especially if Anne does it again and Ann asks again LOL
14) There were other things I had notes on, but I'm skipping because this is longer than the first two, and I hadn't planned that. Ah well...Back to the Ann(e)s....LOL of all the places, why is Ann on the floor? I mean, safety? Protection? Because shes just too fucking precious? I'd assume yes. But Anne is so confused and ready to fuck someone up and then once Ann tells her, the look on Anne's face as she goes from worry to relief is just amazing. Suranne, you fucking goddess. And then all the comfort Anne gives Ann as the poor girl just cries and doesn't think she's good enough. And again, I think this is a bit because of Mr. Fucktard, pressing and getting what he wants no matter what, where as Anne stepped back and made Ann comfortable. I swear Ann doesn't know what it's like to be put first, that her concerns are heard and understood and valued. Everyone just pushes their opinion or wants on her, and she's just had to go with it over th years. She just doesn't even know how to react to Anne and her attentiveness. It's so refreshing for Ann, even if she doesn't fully understand it. And also, because Ann was a wreck, three more lip licks, shit four! (50:59, 51:14, 51:20, 51:44)
15) Fucking Mrs SneakAss Priestly. She can't just leave well enough alone. So bored she's gotta fuck with Ann's happiness. We're having some hella good grubbling, the first fucking "I love you" and this old biddy has to ruin the parade. Anne was hella quick to jump up though. Almost like she's done that before (even though, she totally hasn't, amiright LOL) Ann(e)s just standing there after Mrs P leaves, and omg lol Anne has this "well fuck, how do we turn this around" look, like her brain is really whirling and hoping Ann doesn't freak out, mean while Ann just loses her shit and busts out laughing. So great that happened for real, too. Ann Walker, you are fantastic. "do you want to go upstairs?" because, hello, someone has blue balls at this point. But it's so cute once they get up to Ann's room and the scene nearly ends with her lip lick (58:23). But those stares, like yeah, we're totally in this together now....
AH OKAY. FucKIng LONG. I'm sorry! I even cut some things, so if you made this far, thank you! This was a really good episode, really kicks off their momentum and is sorta the calm before the storm. Oh, I also started to take note of the dresses Ann wears, cuz I swear she only wears like five. so far I have: That Blue Dress, the pink/purple plaid (first kiss), the pink with the sheer puff sleeves (that's what she's wearing in my fave kiss), the pink with some design (flowers?) for the "date", and a pink/purple color she's wearing at the end. So, that is five, and I'll have to see what else she wears, if any (yes shes wearing something else in Scotland, and no, night clothes don't exactly count. though her with her side braid and yellow corset and bloomers is my fave in the whole series...more of that later.)
Counts:
*Anne 4th wall breaks (ep): 3
**Total: 11
*Ann's lip licks (ep): 13!
**Total: 19
(there was a lot this ep, so I'm not going to list them here. And there was a fair amount of lip presses, which are def honourable mentions and worth watching...)
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Hey, GOT! Turn on the freaking lights!
I don’t know if I’ve ever talked about this on my blog but I’m from a little country in Eastern Europe called Romania. I was born and raised in Bucharest, as was all of my family dating back centuries.
One of the most important landmarks in Bucharest is this building right here:
It’s called the House of the People or, more recently, Parliament House. This is so huge that you simply can’t escape it. At times it feels as if the whole of Romania lives in the shadow of this structure.
It was built by Nicolae Ceausescu, our once communist dictator. Everything about it is meant to intimidate and impress. Entire neighborhoods and monuments dating back hundreds of years were torn to the ground in order to make room for it.
It’s impressive in all its megalomaniac glory and the inside is just as over the top. You’ve got entire rooms made of marble, with columns so high it makes you dizzy just looking up. When you enter you’re greeted by a huge staircase made of marble as well and wall high paintings of the Ceausescu spouses going about their communist life:
Looking at separate elements, there is beauty there and even artistry. Taken as a whole, it’s a fucking architectural, visual and cultural disaster.
Now, I’m not suggesting HBO and the Ds are communist tyrants but what I am saying that that a huge amount of money, time, talent and effort is being sunk into this tv show and the results are the story telling equivalent of the House of the People. There are good things sprinkled in there but the basic structure and flow of this story has sunk to such depths that it’s hard to find the experience of watching GOT pleasurable anymore. It’s become an exercise in futility and wasted potential.
This episode is even worse because GOT has so much money to burn that usually you can at least enjoy the production values and the visual spectacle that offers you. This episode is, unfortunately, called the “Long Night” so buckle up for an hour and a half of complete darkness, punctuated by brief flashes of human forms darting back and forth on your TV screen. So this is the equivalent of the House of the People at night, covered in thick fog, when the electricity has gone out.
The bad news about having the episode filmed in darkness is that it’s practically impossible for you to be invested in the action since you can’t see who is doing what or what they are going through while doing it. The good news is that the story tellers will do their utmost to make sure you also don’t give a shit.
General Impressions
This episode we are fortunate enough to get a respite from David Nutter, one of the worst directors I’ve ever had the misfortune of directing tv shows I like and we are treated instead to the talents of Miguel Sapochnik. I’ve loved most of his work on GOT, with my favorite episode of his being Hardhome. And I’m sure he did a fantastic job in this episode, coordinating what is essentially an hour and a half long battle. However, since I couldn’t really see much of what was going on in the action packed sequences, I’m basing that assessment more on faith, than solid proof.
This episode also has the distinction of completing Jon Snow’s journey into complete irrelevancy. Jon doesn’t do much of anything of consequence. Instead he simply stumbles from one failure to another: from following D*ny in destroying the wights army instead of getting to Bran (if D*ny wanted to destroy the wights, why couldn’t Jon hop on Rhaegal to go to the Godswood? why do both of them need to be there to burn the zombies?); to his almost success in taking down wight Viserion only for it to go to nothing when the dragon is still alive and proceeds to burn down Winterfell; to charging the Night King through a field of dead bodies only for the most obvious twist of the NK raising the dead to stop him in his tracks and finally completely abandoning his ethos to protect those in need by leaving Sam to die at the hands of the wights in order to get to Bran. He, of course, never makes it to the Godswood and ends the episode jumping from behind a rock to scream at wight Viserion, without even pulling out his sword to attempt to fight back. It’s enough to make one ...
My thoughts exactly, Jon.
What a complete and utter waste.
Talking of wastes, we are now 3 and a half hours through this season and the Starks have yet to be together in the same room, having a conversation. All through the seasons we have waited with baited breath for these kids to be reunited. The Ds, trolls that they are, baited us with just that at the beginning of season 7, only for it to never materialize. Now they have outdone even themselves by putting the Starks under the same roof and using every trick in their troll textbook to make sure we get absolutely no satisfaction for our Stark itch.
On top of that, we have been led to believe that these 4 people (ok, 3 since Bran is a robot now) care about each other. You’d think that they would seek each other out and at least hug before the battle that could potentially kill one or all of them. That doesn’t happen.
I think the reason why it doesn’t happen is because the Ds felt there was no point in wasting time on that when all 4 of them were going to survive. The problem is that the audience doesn’t know that and should at least fear that they won’t survive.
Most importantly, the characters themselves have no idea that they got a death immunity card for the greatest battle to visit this planet in 8000 years. So to have them completely forget about one another is just piss poor writing.
The closest we get is this scene between Arya and Sansa:
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Arya: Get down to the crypt.
Sansa: I’m not abandoning my people.
Arya: Take this and go.
Sansa: I don’t know how to use it.
Arya: Stick them with the pointy end.
This might as well be a conversation between two strangers who kind of decided they really don’t like each other very much, instead of two sisters who might never see each other again. Sansa goes as far as to refuse to leave not because she doesn’t want to leave her sister but because she doesn’t want to abandon “her people”.
It’s not wrong of Sansa to want to stay with the people of Winterfell but it does make the conversation less poignant and emotional because there’s nothing personal about this exchange. Nor do these two even spare one tearful glace for one another. That is reserved for this scene:
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That’s where the show’s priorities lay. Why did they include this scene? Was it only to fan the flames of the Sanrion ship? I would say no. I think they’re laying the groundwork for whatever plot point Sansa and Tyrion will be involved in, which will inevitably circle back to Cersei one way or another.
And while it was a poignant scene, I can’t help but begrudge that they gave us this at the expense of the Sansa/Arya scene or a potential Sansa/Jon scene.
Also, a lot of people are now complaining that Sansa didn’t fight during this episode which makes her useless (the same old tired argument so no surprise there) but they completely miss the point as to why her lack of fighting is frustrating. It isn’t because Sansa didn’t turn into Xena, the warrior princess, in this episode. It’s because the Ds set up something but then didn’t follow through. Sansa received a dagger and advice on how to use it. Normally that would lead to her having to do just that, particularly when in the scene above she pulls out the very same dagger. But wouldn’t you know it? Once she stands up and charges, she does absolutely NOTHING! It isn’t that she fails. It’s that the writers didn’t even feel the need to show her try. They set up that plot point and then left it dangling with no pay off.
There are multiple examples of this type of tepid storytelling though out the episode but I think the most glaring one is Bran. He has been building up to his confrontation with the Night King since season 1. And all of that amounted to what exactly? Bran did nothing but sit in the Godswood and wait for the NK to try to kill him. So why did he go through that entire, excruciating journey exactly? What vital information did he discover that led to the demise of the NK? What magical abilities did he posses that were crucial against his greatest foe? He didn’t even warg a dragon for Pete’s sake even though that should have been a given.
In the behind the scenes commentary, the Ds said that the key to destroying the NK was either stabbing him directly in the spot where the COF inserted the shard of dragon glass or killing him next to the Weirwood tree, depending on what you understood by their comments.
Either way, that information did not make it into the TV show. Bran never says that, despite having opportunity to do so during the council meeting in episode 2. So it doesn’t matter what the Ds say in interviews. If it isn’t on screen, it doesn’t exist.
On the whole, the most frustrating part of the episode was the actual battle. Leaving aside the poor lighting, what I got form this episode is that 130.000 men (based on my super duper math skills utilized for ep 2) had absolutely no strategy and no stamina to at least attempt to fight a hoard of mindless zombies. It took all of 10 minutes for all these hardened soldiers (with one exception which we will discuss later on) to break ranks and flee for their lives.
Also why did Jorah lead 100.000 of those men, consisting of the entire Dothraki khalasar acting as the Winterfell army’s cavalry, on a charge into the darkness of certain death? I don’t know a lot about battle strategy but I do know that when you have a key position (in this case Winterfell), you don’t charge. You wait for the enemy to come to you. And once the army broke, everyone of those people were running around like headless chickens, with no clue how to regroup or mount an effective defense of one of the most impenetrable castles in the whole of Westeros. Robb Stark must be spinning in his grave like kale in a hipster’s smoothie. Imagine what he could have been able to do with 130.000 men.
It pains me to say this but the Night King was genuinely the only one on that battlefield who had an actual plan, could adapt to what was thrown at him (the trenches, falling off the dragon etc.) and complete his mission. He was defeated in the end but his defeat consisted not only of the unexpected in the form of Arya and her FM training but also on the lack of reaction of all the wights and the white walkers that were there which, frankly, stretches disbelief.
PS: While sparing not one single moment for character or plot development, GOT did find the time to rip off How to Train your Dragon ... again ...
Give it up, guys. You don’t have half the vision and talent of the HTTYD squad. This just makes you look silly.
Favorite scenes
The “Blood of my Blood” scene:
I loved the whole sequence of D*ny and Jorah. From Jorah sweeping in like a knight in shinning armor to protect D*ny, to him getting up through multiple stab wounds because he couldn’t give up on trying to save her, to D*ny picking up a freaking sword and fighting despite not knowing how to try and defend him, to her break down over his dead body and Drogon coiling up around her to try to comfort her.
Just looking at these gifs makes me want to cry. One of the only truly meaningful and emotional moments in the whole episode and an apt ending to the most important relationship in D*ny’s life. Kudos to Emilia and Iain on giving it their all in this scene.
The “You’re home” scene:
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Speaking of acting chops, Alfie Allen, ladies and gentlemen! Truly one of the best actors in this cast. And this scene really brought Theon full circle. The man who didn’t feel like he belonged anywhere, who went through hell and back, who lost his humanity and clawed his way back to it, died defending the only place he’s ever known as home. Alongside the D*ny/Jorah scene, this really broke me down. Also this:
Bran: Theon! You’re a good man. Thank you.
cue the ugly crying right now
Just wonderful! I hope Alfie has a long career in front of him because he’s sooo good.
The “Final atonement” scene:
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The reason why I loved Mel’s death scene so much is because it brings to completion the burning of Shrieen. Despite her religious fantaticism and her ruthlessness, sacrificing that little girl did take it’s toll on Melisandre. It shook her to her core. So much so that she walked into the frozen wasteland, took off her necklace and killed herself. The fact that the entire sequence is punctuated by Davos watching her walk to her death makes it all the more meaningful.
It surprised me that they chose this way to bring an end to her character but I feel it enriched her story and my perception of her.
Episode MVPs
The Unsullied:
I was curious about what they would do with the Unsullied during the battle because their fighting style is perfectly suited to castle defense. Also, because of this story from the History and Lore series:
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The Unsullied are known for their discipline and willingness to stand their ground against the greatest adversaries. They are canonically so impressive that not only did they beat the Dothraki but all the Dothraki riders cut off their braids and placed them at their feet to honor their bravery and prowess.
Considering that not only were the Unsullied the only soldiers at Winterfell to actually stick to their guns and fight strategically and bravely but they also ensured the retreat of all the other forces, the people of Winterfell need to be cutting off their own hair and honor these brave men.
Arya “It is Princess after all” Stark:
Aaaa ... yeah, she is the princess that was promised, y’all!
Arya’s story in this episode was the most complete and compelling one. Starting off with her “I know Death. He has many faces. I look forward to seeing this one” bravado, to her rawness and vulnerability when she realized what she was up against to her putting all that Faceless Men training to good use and managing to sneak up on the Night King just enough to end him.
Arya Stark has just killed Death! A true warrior, if there ever was one! I hope this marks an end to her FM arc and a gradual return of at least part of the kindness and empathy Arya was defined by in season 1.
Daenerys “Why do you want me to feel sorry for her?” Targareyen:
Well, this is strange ... I never thought I’d make D*ny an MVP in these reviews but fair is fair. The girl was a champ this episode.
I know some people seem to think that she’s the reason why the battle plan went haywire because she decided to attack the wight army after seeing her khalasar wiped out. However ... for one, she had just seen all of her Dothraki cut down. Clearly whatever strategy they had going wasn’t working. Secondly, I seem to remember in episode 2 that Tyrion offered to wave the torch so Dany could set the trench on fire so obviously she and Jon were not suppose to just stick to the Godswood for the entire duration of the battle.
Still, I think the reason why I found D*ny so formidable this episode was because she was placed directly in contrast with Jon and unlike Mr. Can’t seem to get anything right these Days Snow, D*ny did actually put up a fight, saved Jon’s life even at the risk of injury to Drogon and attacked the Night King head on.
Yes, dragon fire was ineffectual against the NK but she gave it her all and I appreciate that. As thanks for her bravery and loyalty (despite now knowing that Jon is her rival to the IT), Jon abandoned her without hesitation, proving once again that he genuinely doesn’t give a shit about her. At this point, I honestly don’t understand why D*ny stans are shipping her with Jon. They should have higher standards for their fave.
The way they chose to portray D*ny in this episode is interesting because, despite D*ny’s actions, dark D*ny and the Dance of Dragons is still happening, in my humble opinion. That means that we are left in a bit of a conundrum: D*ny has now fulfilled her end of the bargain. She has fought the army of the dead and lost a significant percentage of her army and Jorah in the process. Which leaves us with the inevitability that Jon and the Starks will not only go against the woman that helped them protect their home but will prove themselves mercenary and dishonorable for doing so. Also because of the prolonged absence of Jon’s POV and the lack of scenes of the Starks together, D*ny, being the only one we have clear access to narratively, becomes more and more sympathetic.
In some ways this choice frustrates me because D*ny has done some truly horrific things and story-wise those have yet to be addressed or paid off. By making her more and more sympathetic and the Starks more antagonistic in relation to her, it makes it harder to deliver the comeuppance she has earned over the seasons.
On the other hand, there is something about this type of narrative choice that appeals to me. The line between hero and villain is practically nonexistent and it’s up to each and everyone of us to pick a side, based more on our subjective experiences and less on objective narrative reasons.
It brings to mind the first Dance of Dragons where you could very well make an argument in favor of both the Black and Green factions because there was no clear cut answer on who was right and who was wrong.
*none of the art work belongs to me. thank you to the content creators!
#got 8x03#got8 spoilers#got review#my got meta#daenerys targaryen#anti-jonerys#house stark#theon greyjoy#jorah mormont#dany x jorah#jon snow#the unsullied#sansa stark#arya stark#melisandre of asshai#dark!dany#dance of dragons 2.0
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Oh thank God they aren't waiting till shit goes down to brief Team Flash.
LMAO Iris "what the newspaper says some shit? That's like Tuesday for us, bro."
Seriously though I'm tired of Iris being "tough". The best thing, maybe the only good thing, about Season 3 was that she was allowed to be soft and vulnerable and scared and sad. We badly need to roll back on this stoic tough chick trope. LET WOMEN BE EMOTIONAL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
I miss Soft Princess Iris. :(
SINGH. I missed Captain Singh. He's like Barry's number one stan. "You got an intern working a crime scene without going through any hiring protocol whatsoever, Allen? Good job!"
Incidentally how can you "hire" interns if you don't pay them?
So. Now that we've seen a man become compressed into a block of meat, can we have some PG 13 post-coital Westallen nookie? This show's attitude to sex is so fucked up. Shishkebab people 96 times per season but zero hints of a sex life between a loving, committed couple.
Nora, I love you but you may actually be worse than your Dad at showing up to crime scenes with flimsy excuses...*flashes back to introductory episode on Arrow 2x8* nvm
That block of meat is making me hungry. Need breakfast.
"Please stop caring about me" LOL
Ralph is sort of growing on me. Granted, so could fungus.
Okay that was mean.
I really hope Barry also tables his family drama for five minutes to be there for his best friend. Caitlin and Cisco keep being deprioritized since S2 - S3 and its grating on me. Be there for your friends too, Barry.
Excuse you, going to Thailand and painting your toes is a great way to get over a break-up. However, I strongly advise against any drastic hair decisions.
Oh. Poor guy. Be gentle, Mad Dog West-Allen
(Get it? Mad Dog Lane? TNAOS? Ok then)
I do like when they show civillian casualties. It makes what they do seem more impactful.
Is Joe on paternity leave?
I like these West family subplots. Joe and Cecile are v cute.
Cecile reading the mind of your child without their consent is the opposite of being the perfect parent. Wait till she's out and raid her room for drugs like everyone else.
Barry is like me with teenagers. "When I was your age it took five minutes just to connect to the internet and your search history turned up on your phone bill shut your gob."
Oh Nora. *facepalm*
Idk why Barry always calls his villains out. He's a speedster with the advantage of surprise. Its stupid.
"Denser than people who still believe in love." I feel you so much Cisco.
I see the CW is still forcing us to be minutely acquainted with people's chins.
SERIOUSLY just let Barry take five seconds out to give Cisco a comforting pat on the back Im so tired of this.
LOL Barry you're giving Nora math homework? That's just harsh.
Lmao Cisco is getting Anne Hathawayed HANDS OFF THE HAIR BRUCE. **proteccs lush beautiful Cisco curls*
"Does that mean you think there's something wrong with me?" NO BABY YOU ARE THE MOST PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL
"You cut my hair I cut you" YOU TELL HIM
Oh. Oh my. Oh.
I have never been so attracted to Cisco Ramon before. Clearly I have been a fool.
Heee she raised her hand. "But Dad, I wanna punch stuff!" Most precious bean.
Errm pretty sure your Dad killed the Sand Demon, Nora. I don't care about DC's no-kill rule but that was not his finest moment.
Lmaoooo welcome to fatherhood, Barry.
Maybe a stern little talking-to wouldn't hurt at this point.
Whenever she says "Dad" my insides melt a little more.
Okay, Barry and Iris need to draw some hard lines between their professional lives. The investigative journalist cannot just waltz into her husband's CCPD lab and look through his laptop. Literally you could have done this at home instead of the lab. One day they're going to be accused of evidence tampering.
Shit like this takes me out of a scene unnecessarily.
Barry: "NORA ISN'T LISTENING TO ME SHE THINKS SHE CAN DO ALL THESE THINGS BUT SHE CAN'T, NEMO!"
Joe: *internally laughs himself stupid*
So this is why parents want their kids to reproduce. The sweet, sweet karmic payback. xD
(Fourth grade? Barry came to live with them when he was eleven. Also pretty sure Barry kinda hated Joe for a while what with having arrested his Dad and being traumatized. I can see him hero-worshipping Joe a couple of years later maybe.)
I can't get over how hot Cisco is. Bruce better not have burned his iconic t-shirts tho.
Aww, Caitlin. That sucks. :( I know the theme this season seems to be fathers and daughters but you should really talk to Iris about absentee parents who faked their deaths.
No seriously this is a great bonding opportunity for them! I need to see a solid friendship between the two main female cast members so bad it's been four seasons please throw me a bone
Oh, step twenty seven is hitting me hard too. I think I might actually like Ralph soon.
Okay, real talk. Yeah the superficial stuff can't distract you from the truth that your relationship tanked. But that whole cry on your couch for two weeks, get away to a seaside with friends, getting a makeover, buying new clothes, redecorating your living space - these are also rituals of grief and helps you cope till you get enough emotional distance to deal with reality. Superficial stuff is what makes life bearable, okay?
The other thing is to give relationship advice nobody asked for
Moving on.
I love that Cait and Cisco are always there for each other.
Awww Barry's showing Nora what a fuck up he truly is loool.
Oh my God. Season 1 Barry. "Sometimes for people with our abilities the most impressive thing is restraint." WE HAVE COME SO FAR. I'M LOVIN' IT! *prouds*
Yessss Iris being as smart as the nerd herd!
GO TEAM WEST-ALLEN!
Young lady, you roll your eyes at your mother one more time and we're gonna have words.
Kinda hate that in order to give villains a chance against speedster powers you gotta significantly bring the latter down several IQ points.
Baby got moves! Nice!
Barry! What about those moves you used to lay out the ARGUS guards??
This fight would be more impressive is I could see jackshit. Lighting, people!
Hmm. Did Cicada just have a "Save Martha" moment?
Nora is so scared and worried for her father, poor babb.
YES MARVEL REFERENCE!
Wait, so they got their powers back?
Y'know he didnt have to vibe that to realize the obvious next step is confronting Caitlin's mother.
Actually that sounds like respiratory problem. New villain - Halitosis.
Oooh Future Spoilers Girl knows who Cicada is
Aaand that's a wrap folks.
Ngl I had hoped for more "West" in Team West-Allen but this was a solid ep.
Please have Nora call Barry "Dad" as many times as possible k.
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Margaret & Owen
“With your kind permission, ma'am, I’m here to ensure the safety of your home for Mr. McGarrigle’s visit this evening.”“We’re not much given to threatening our guests.”“You do have the hammer…” - Ourselves Alone, 2x02
1) when they first intrigued me
I’m not gonna lie, the second Margaret opened that door and we saw Owen Sleater for the first time, I was like who is this cutie??? lol (Thank you show for introducing me to the lovely Charlie Cox lol) But yeah I noticed right away that these two had a banter that interestingly took Margaret by surprise (which kinda fascinated me) He kinda made some assumptions that he definitely shouldn’t have that gave them a rough start but honestly, if I was her & the guy was smiling like he does here at me, he’d have me weak in the knees. He was meant to be cheeky in the beginning. XD Also, I weirdly like the little moment later in the ep when they’re eating dinner & he’s just kinda in the background reacting to stuff. There’s a moment where Margaret is uncomfortable with the dinner talk & declares she knows where she’s from & then we get a shot of Owen smiling at her in a knowing way. It’s like he’s proud of her but also just shows he’s clearly aware of her too. Idk. It just seems like a small nice touch.
Margaret Meets Owen
“Always happy to be of service, Mrs. Schroeder.” - The Art of Reason, 2x06
2) when I started to ‘ship’ them (sometimes this is different if you think about it)
I had to think about the exact moment I chose to ship them. It’s not like I was shipping her & Nucky. lol But then I hadn’t been actually shipping on this show before these two so yeah. In 2x06, Owen & Margaret have a moment of sexual tension all thanks to a broom. lol I think that & her admitting in her confession that she was attracted to him was what convinced me. Because at first we assume she’s talking about Nucky and then she mentions ‘the man’ works for her & it’s like “Ohhhh!”. I could tell they were at least going to eventually take them happening at least a little seriously from that admission. So I was open to shipping it.
“You’re the cool one, missus.”“No, I’m not. I’m not how you see me at all.” - Peg of Old, 2x07
3) when I knew they were OTP status (as in there was literally no other ship for them I would want)
The thing about 2x07 is that besides it being the episode that they finally happen, it’s also one where the two characters have their own separate storylines that manage to parallel enough, with them both feeling like complete outsiders in America, that when they come together in the last scene of the episode, Owen’s little monologue makes sense. When I first watched the episode, I didn’t expect Margaret to give into temptation yet but the longer the scene kept going I started to prepare myself for it a little. (It is interesting to point out that while these two are having sex, Nucky just got shot & betrayed by people. Oops?? lol) But honestly, that scene was steamy tbh. Lol Margaret biting his ear tho. XD
Margaret & Owen Have Sex
4) Favorite quote
Margaret: “There is a man, Father, in my life. And he’s bad. I know he is in my heart, but still, I’m drawn to him somehow.” - The Art of Reason, 2x06
Owen: I’m at your mercy, missus.” - A Man, a Plan, 3x10
The Confession
“You can do as you choose. Say what you want, as long as it’s the truth.”“The truth? I’d like it to be a boy.” - A Man, a Plan, 3x10
5) Favorite scene
This scene is sad now tbh because it’s their last scene where he’s alive and it’s such a hopeful one because she’s told him that she’s pregnant with his child & he’s overjoyed. Margaret is also feeling scared about running away & this reaction is what convinces her that she’s making the right choice. I do appreciate Owen trying to use actions over words, in reference to 2 eps before when she says “They’re just words & they don’t mean anything anymore”. Nice touch show bringing that back.
6) Scene that made me cry
This scene!!!! I feel like I knew going into 3x10 that something bad was going to happen to Owen by the end of it or at least the season. I felt the same way when it came to Jimmy in S2 (even though that death was way more inevitable) It’s just kinda sad cuz I hoped Owen taking Jimmy’s old job wouldn’t automatically mean he was deadmeat eventually. Anyway, about the exact scene, my heart actually breaks for her here. I know there’s plenty of people who think of Margaret as a bitch. She wasn’t always a favorite of mine either but some people seem to forget that Nucky was definitely cheating on her with Billie in this season. And we saw how much that death affected him. So I do kinda like that brief “HAHA” moment when he realizes that there was more to the nature of Margaret & Owen’s relationship. Yes, Margaret was hypocritical but neither of them were innocent. And I do really think she loved Owen. She was so affected by the sight of his dead body. This scene still scars me tbh. lol But like, bawl!!
The Box Scene
7) Scene that pissed me off
I think it goes without saying then The Box scene pissed me off. lol What a lame way to kill Owen off because we didn’t even see it. (Which yeah, I’m thankful we didn’t have to either) The last time we see Owen he’s on his way to kill Masseria & you just knew he was probably doomed. But the way they did this, while effective, just made me so mad. lol
“Already New Year’s back home.”“Give my best to Katy.” - Resolution, 3x01
“Is that what you want? If it is, say it. Say it, and we’ll go.” - The Milkmaid’s Lot, 3x09
8) Favorite underrated moment(s)
The first moment I chose is their brief one in 3x01 simply because after Margaret got married to Nucky in the S2 finale, I kinda gave up on this being anything more. But then something about this scene (the look of it & their quite obvious attraction for each other still present) made me ship it all over again. That eyesex!!! It also helped that we saw that Nucky was sleeping around with Billie so why anyone can blame Margaret for going there again with Owen confuses me. I also chose the 3x09 scene where they decide to run away together. I still couldn’t believe Owen proposed that they do it. It was bold & kinda foolish but gah, my heart. :’) They’ve got quite a few lowkey moments that are lovely that I could have chosen tbh.
9) Song that makes me think of them
Um… well both songs I vidded them to were instrumentals so Idk really. Anything about forbidden romance tbh. Probably something pretty sad too since he was killed. :(
10) Favorite video of them
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The editing for this one is amazing!!
I’ve actually made 2 videos for them, one being about their journey. If you haven’t seen it already heh:
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