#but will i be having them? fuck no im not smart enough for that shit
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[read this after reading the tags because fuck i hit the tag limit LMFAOO]
— and jason (n the bunch) definitely makes fun of him for it because holy shit you absolute tryhard (he copes and seethes every time tim manages to snipe his slow ass dynamo — which is basically every fucking time tim is there . he has to rush tim like a fucking madman in order to actually splat him , and then usually dies right after bc he rushed into their base , tunnelvisioning tim and tim only , as a fucking Dynamo . tldr he calls him a tryhard to cope)
(and do Not get me wrong ; its not as if jason’s a thoughtless or bad player [i hate ppl calling him a brute . like istg he’s smart too] . its just that dynamo vs charger is a horrible matchup for him , as the dynamo . he Does manage to get tim without rushing him sometimes , but he needs coordination with his team distracting tim or smth in order to get the advantage he needs , since theyre both equally skilled pretty much . but a 1v1 is just Hard in this matchup [said by a dynamo And charger main . trust me on this one LMAO] , and he usually just gets sniped in those situations — its either a trade or death for him most of the time . thats not a jason thing ; its a charger vs dynamo thing lol)
golly i’ve been talking abt this too long (esp abt tim and jason when tim is nowhere to be found in the og post LMFAO Uhm .! i just like them . jason n tim are my boys) . in fact im going to yap more bc i feel i havent given dami enough appreciation
jason would totally love rolling damian over while dami’s sharking him . he’d laugh in his face and clip it on his switch , before saving the clip on his phone or smth just in case damian attempts to delete it
see it as a punishment for trying to shark a dynamo as a splatana/octobrush instead of just ,,, outmaneuvering the dynamo . bc both splatana and octobrush have good enough range to easily take down a dynamo (he outmaneuvers a lot too ofc ; he just tests his luck sometimes by sharking around jason , wanting to surprise him lol)
they are a Unit on the same team tho . damian as the faster splatana/octobrush supporting jason’s slower dynamo/stamper (he’d play that too . def didnt start playing it bc it pairs rlly well with [damian’s] splatana ,, no siree ,,,) as they both kill the enemy team with terrifying efficiency . (i’d say they’d be extra good with tim making callouts in comms — bc ofc im still thinking abt tim too istg 😭 — but i also feel like neither of them would listen to him half of the time . and take joy in his misery whenever they lose , ignoring their own misery from losing in favor of making fun of tim and blaming each other for losing [like “if you hadnt died when they started pushing we could have defended successfully , todd !” / “oh MY BAD that i TRADED with their stupid quick-respawning motherfucker and couldnt paint under my feet to get away from their bomb because im a fucking DYNAMO —” (can you tell i definitely main dynamo and have experienced similar situations . WHY is it so FUCKING BAD at PAINTING UNDER YOUR FEET . MY GOD .)])
anyway holy shit thats it im done Fucking Hell . here’s your essay op ! i love the art . it has clearly stirred my love for batfam and splatoon (im sorry LMFAOAO)
is this too niche
#ohhhh op . dont even get me STARTED (as i feel my eyes literally tear up from ? excitement ? idk bro)#literally thought up a splatoon au for batfam (not necessarily the same thing but also . in terms of main weapons ? it kinda is the same)#i made a whole thread on twt ranting and brainstorming#like you do not understand the level i am on#anyway jason gives me skirmish/kill-focused vibe in terms of what role he’d play#like an uber fucking scary aggressive dynamo roller#he’d be good at chargers but find them a little boring (but will play them if needed . n its still satisfying to get snipes)#he mainly goes off on his own but can play supportive as well (he’s not a shitty teammate . despite his lone wolf shit)#dami with the good ol splatanas (its a sword . i mean cmon now)#i feel like he’d also like dualies but mainly sharking weapons ? for ultimate sneak#for example: octobrush . dami would Totally use octobrush dont even try me#(thats a joke please do try me bc idk man im still learning abt these fellas)#damian would be a DEMON (pun not intended but appreciated) on the octobrush istg#as well as splatanas . he refuses to be less than amazing in the weapons he plays#honestly these two would play similar weapons even if they were actual cephalopods in the splatoon universe#vs just playing splatoon#but methinks others like tim would b different#like he’d enjoy playing chargers if he were playing splatoon (predicting the enemies’ movement ? yea no he’s Good)#but idk if that fits his actual ‘real life’ (idk he’s a comic book character LOL but ykwim) fighting style#like if he were a cephalopod . he’d probs be Good at chargers/sniping but idk if thats his go to . yk ?#but i also havent read enough of the comics to properly be . Sure of any of that . but whatever !#anyway so nearly all of the batfam are octolings to me . minus steph (which could drive even more angst with her being an outcast ?)#and alfred can be a jellyfish bc thats funny as hell idc . (he has a little mustache)#a highly respected jellyfish ofc . who uses his (canonical to splatoon lore iirc) hivemind with the other jellies to be knowledgeable of#everything#i have more on this (trust me) but i aint airing all that out in these reblog tags#ok thats it#oh btw tim (as a player) would totally be so into competitive splatoon#he is The comp team coach of all time#and he memorizes shit like gear ability stats and tryhards like crazy
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i'm kinda Really Not That Keen™ on the whole crowley-was-raphael theory. not that it's not cute and interesting like, sure, it'd certainly be Something if they turned out to be one of the og archangels like that'd be Unironically Cool but i see a lot of ppl (or maybe a few ppl but they're very loud) making this big thing about how crowley was raphael and because of that their fall is this Big Sad Horrible Thing specifically because they think they used to be an archangel
idk it doesn't feel... Right? i think it says more about heaven for crowley to just be crowley (whatever their pre-fall name was). we know that they were high up (a dominion, a throne or above, ty muriel) but i think it's more in keeping with what we've seen from the archangels if crowley is just amongst the other powerful angels and they love putting the stars in the sky so much that when they ask why they can't do it forever, they're cast out of heaven for a very little perceived transgression
the tragedy of crowley's fall shouldn't be that they were raphael or any other big important named angel
the tragedy was that they didn't want to intend to fall, they just asked questions
#in which i have gomens emotions and take them out on the wrong things#im still in my Heaven Is The Worst era... obviously#the thought of either of them going back there in s3 fills me with dread i dont wanna watch them get violently bullied#anyways yeah#i need to spend less time on tiktok bc every second video is “crowley was raphael” or “the coffee was poisoned” which...#both are Cool Theories but they are just theories and when people treat theories like canon whilst ignoring Actual Canon it...#it deeply and very much raises my hackles#also the fact that we Know for a Fact that crowley was not raphael and YET! nobody seems capable of moving on#there are better and sexier conversations to be had#but will i be having them? fuck no im not smart enough for that shit#gomens spoilers#good omens 2#good omens#crowley
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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rewatching this over and over again.. mainly bcs tarn makes soundwave into a manlet but also bcs it's hilarious
#thunderhowl at the copilot doing Absoluteky nothing then being surprised when shadowstriker is unfamiliar with the terrain: :D#i get ure a theater kid but CAN U STOP BEING SO CRYPTIC#bumblebee moving to the wall like the only smart person#optimus just wants to find the source#had to include soundwave being the bitchiest person for no reason at the end of course 🩵 mi lady#somebody help tarn bro only has one arm 😭😭#hes not even using it against a wall or anything like hes just trying to keep his balance#everybody panicking while shadowstriker doesnt give a fuck#girlboss shit she does every day and no one cares it pisses me off yall need to appreciate my mean lesbian like yall appreciate her mean gay#bestie#thunderhowl :) bcs he wants soundwave to struggle probably. i mean at the cost of others maybe risking a concussion? sure#theyre both so petty but try to act too cool to be in their own lame ways. im obsessed with them#he was hoping soundwave was gonna land in his lap 💔#somehow from all the way back there LMFAO if his terrains can defy gravity so can his beloved annoyance ok. he believes#im a filthy multishipper so i need tarn and soundwave to have more fic & kiss too bcs it's literally tarn being like I Know What You Are#(a Bttm) to soundwave and soundwave having to screw his lips into a smile & be like teehee of course.. only to be like (u forgot the Brat*)#at the end like. why are they like that. tarn holding him by the waist with 1 arm being like i got u bbgirl meanwhile hes getting#60000 concussions and soundwave is trying So hard not too laugh.. TOO loudly. (tarn thinking hes so anime protag rn)#tf cyberverse#soundwave#tarn#thunderhowl#shadowstriker#bumblebee#optimus prime#maccadam#transformers#I CANT BELIEVE I HAD ENOUGH ROOM FOR THESE TAGS!
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my sibling is starting to write fic and it's so. like they've been drawing for forever and never seem insecure about art. but writing is still new to them! so the fic isn't working how they want it to. i got to point at their pile of like, 20 something filled full size sketchbooks and go, look, you've made all this art, practiced all this time to be good. and how many things have you written? 3? you keep going! you keep doing it and it will be countless one day!
#ramble tag#my siblings... i get mushy when it comes to them#truly nothing in life is more important than my babies. who are not babies but beside the point#(THEYLL BE ADULTS SOON. SOB.)#feels so inappropriate to post about them on this blog but as i have said before. they follow my main#i just need to talk about them sometimes or I'll just lie in bed and cry lmao#sibling i started this post talking about is so smart and creative and fucking /organized/ as all hell#honestly both my siblings are scary driven#it would make me cripplingly insecure if i didnt just love them so damn much. if i wasnt so fucking proud of them#i hate that i couldnt be someone more worth looking up to but i am beyond overjoyed to see them grow into their own regardless#these two are possibly up there as the smartest people ive ever met even if theyre still just teenagers#i can't wait to see who they turn into. who they'll grow up be#(always be my babies in addition tho)#i see the world in them#im immeasurably happy to have the siblings i do#really starting to realize that yknow what? im not missing anything by being aro#by not having much (if any) sexual/romantic shit in my life#those two are my pride and joy and make me happier than any of that ever could#anyways this is a secret dont tell them i said that#psa dont talk to me about my siblings i can keep going until i pass out#god took everything that is Good and put into these precious tiny humans and im just lucky enough to be here !!!#ok i need to stop. its 2am hi
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The dog I've been sitting for in the haunted house is the most neurotic dog I've dealt with, which is really saying something. She's not bad but she IS completely bonkers. And she's not a rescue! Same owners her whole life. How do people fuck up an animal's brain this hard?
The only thing I've seen even close was a rescue dog adopted during covid lockdown who then didn't understand what other dogs are and had crazy separation anxiety.
#i feel like this is what it was like to deal with me after my parents failed to teach me anything about being human#like this dog ONLY exists to glom onto people and that makes me sad for her#she has no idea how to dog#and can't be out of sight of a person without losing it#idk the longer i pet sit the more i see the hows and whys of fucked up animals#and it's.......#it's always a human's fault in my experience#i guess bc im seeing dogs whose families care about them enough to get a sitter#but idk why it's assumed by americans that we magically know what's good for dogs even though most of us know very little about animals#i feel sadder and sadder for dogs with no toys#dogs who don't take walks or ONLY take walks and never get to be off leash#dogs who sit in an empty room all day with nothing to do#i understand the impulse to have a smart little animal who loves you#but shit they're too smart to be ignored all the time without going a little bonkers#i legit go and buy chews and toys w my own money when i see a client's dog is bored#and it invariably makes the dog better to deal with#IDK YALL IM STRESSED ABOUT PETS#i know they're not the same but people should get cats instead they're better at entertaining themselves
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im sure ive alrwady said this but veilgaurd called me a bottom in evedy language, most strongly elvhen tho. i cannot stop thinking about elgar'nans lil spiel to the venatori saying 'all you must do is love me, and kneel' like bruh......if rook wasnt so spiteful they probably would have...just to see where he was going with that....
#im afraid of a lot as i get to the end of the game but technical things like the skill tree and subclasses aside#i dont get why people are so unhappy with it#maybe im biased cause i always play an elf but i fucking LOVE learning about elvhen history and how we shaped thedas#and then it all went to shit and our gods hated us and used tevinter to make the world worse#i highly doubt this is the last da game the series is too popular and adding that we can be trans now is a massive improvement#even if i think the lighthouse should have been more like skyhold and let us talk to companions more#and craft the armor ourselves#and ngl i think the lighthouse should have been more of a refuge for those that survived the gods attacks#like anyone from arlathen/dmeta or hossberg#idk im really only bad about the skill tree and subclasses and lack of bards tbh#but truely......the lucanis almost kiss???? everything about being a mourn watcher??? my SHATHANN CALLING ME A TWINK#this game called me a slur#and just the fucking appearance of my lil rook....he looked so blissed when under elgar'nans trance#bellara and neve were so done with my shit there 😭#i do want to play a dwarf really badly next time#or qunari because the games have built a really interesting cuture for them but never really went strongly into it other than like#the arishok and the antaam? but now they mention the devouring storm and thats probably a fuckass big dragon#but now i need to know more#im not done but veilguard very much isnt the conclusion#but my god i cant stop thinking about how vulnerable my rook actually is like from the personality ive given him from myself#if the gods or like anaris found him before varric did.....this would be a very different story and there would be a lot of tears and#begging for a shot at redemption and care#oh god wed disappoint vorgoth......might as well just kill myself if that ever happened#i just love that my rook has become more senstive as ive played and more hurt when he was already not doing so hot for personal reasons#he still has a smart mouth but he wants to cry like 9/10 times he has to make decisions#companions stop asking me to shape their lives challenges#ngl rook would absolutely stsrt bawling his eyes out over manfred begging emmerichs forgivness for wanting manfred back#i just imagine tears coming down his face as he tells emmerich manfred was a hero and he deserves another chance to keep learning so that#next time he does soemthing heroic...hes prepared and wont 'die' by doing it#cause my lil guy knows hes not smart enough to bring manfred back himself
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new interns joining the office im going to explode
#i fear that if the new interns join i will mildly dislike them for a while regardless of how nice they are#because that is apparently how my anxiety deals with new people and not wanting to talk to new people#(plus not to forget the awful inferiority complex i have of people around me being better than me#and also me not being good enough for shit)#god i can hear the interview in the next room over they sound so smart which is very cool but also i need to fucking explode#helppppp meeeeee#this is hashtag silly im being overdramatic#i'll be fine i think
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🖤 for misa about light ??
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends (eventually, over time) / my only friend. (eventually, over time)
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours; specify. || ALWAYS ACCEPTING || @prodigum.
#answered.#dynamic; misa & light.#brb kms#italics mean sometimes !! the present is all answered in the context for the on the run / survival au !!#anyway she ............. loves that man. SO MUCH#despite everything#like. especially after That she feels shell never be pretty enough tall enough kind enough compassionate enough smart enough or sexy enough#even though logically she KNOWS she's the shit#like she already struggles to forge genuinely meaningful connections w/ people especially w/ bpd#i genuinely think even if she's the second kira she'd try to use her vast fame & platform for humanitarian causes#& i think she'd try to influence light to do the same w/ her in the hopes of creating that new world light always wanted#im personally of the belief that despite how oof the beginning of their relationship was that there WAS some tenderness there#bc like im sorry u dont go through SIX YEARS of being w/ sb & not have any affection for sb thats just not how it works lmao#& we talked about them a fuckton in dms already on how eventually in this au they slowly start to get closer after losing everything#& its rly sweet & like really fucking sad at the same time. bc like. it took That Long for him to finally recognize her worth & how she's.#really the only one who truly genuinely unconditionally loved him & he's like. astonished by that. & it took him literally almost dying#& especially after That reveal like they get a lot closer#but the fact that she literally dies not longer after him literally on the exact same day as him tells you everything you need to know#she loved that man SO MUCH. they're each other's red thread of fate but where it digs into the hands like red barbed wire & bleeds.#anyway they make me so fucking feral#prodigum
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klay 0 points but he looked sexygorgeous doing it + lockdown defense + mavs WIN and dubs clinch so im leaving here with something 🙂↕️🙂↕️
#nba#klay thompson#dallas mavericks#mavs lb#love when he makes shots but ive shrimply accepted that it is now a somewhat rare occurence which is understandable tbh given age/injuries#they could never make me hate u king#not even if u go 0/100 i srsly dgaf ur face card + beautiful soul more than make up for it i promise#freddie mercury voice#I look ... and i fiind ... I still love youuu#that said I really think people are not giving him enough grace or credit for all the positive ways he impacts the game#like he has set such an impossibly high standard for himself by literally becoming thee singular second greatest shooter OAT so#imo its pretty unreasonable for fans to demand him to put up prime klay numbers nightly when this team doesn't even need him to do that#to be able to win which is actually a good thing !!! not to be a +/- watcher but him just being on the floor opens up so much space for#everyone else because defenders will swarm him no matter what and he knows this because he is very smart !!!#I just have so much love in my heart for him and it physically hurts me to see anyone speak negatively about him after everything#that he's overcome and how critical he is of himself :( I just want him to feel loved :((#guys this is so stupid i don't even KNOW him and he still occupies a fairly large portion of my brain and heart 24/7 it's so badddd#steph and klay were my whole entire childhood and then i forgot about them for the year they were injured and then I remembered them again#after which they found their way back to each other and won the whole fucking thing !!! that's the shit of romcoms bitch !!!#and even if they really won't ever share a backcourt again (which pains me to even type out ew) I'll still love both of them#unconditionally i fear#and also forever#how can you not be romantic about basketball baby!!!#steph/klay#if you read all of this first of all im so sorry and thank you too lol :)#nik's rants
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Disclaimer im just processing some thoughts im not cancelling the show
have almost thoughts about how i find the like....narrative on here that if you have chronic "zebra" conditions youd want a doctor like House and wouldnt sue for malpractice bc at least youd have a doctor that cares about whats wrong with you but lets take it one step further. so often he does NOT give a shit about the patient and actively endangers them frequently with his god damn heoric era of medicine approach? non zero amount of times he gets a diagnosis but it comes too late, or he gets a diagnosis after their first wrong 3 guesses of the episode shut down the patients kidneys and they either have to get a transplant or they are just, doomed due to other preexisting conditions etc? idk. i know ppl are almost certainly exaggerating and just letting off steam about the very real failures of our current medical systems and the ableism baked in and All That Shit. i just think its weird how ppl romanticize House who STILL, FREQUENTLY, MULTIPLE EPISODES will actively dismiss shit in the exact way that is a problem in our current system, especially when hes being Forced Against His Will To See Clinic Parients, he loves to be dismissive as fuck of symptoms and if he was a real doctor i think he'd be fucking 50/50 on cases he Notices Something To Dig Into vs cases he dismisses as an Anxious Hysterical Woman Who Wants Attention, the only reason he's Right so frequently in his snap judgements is cos it reinforces the narrative. its like a crime drama that has the mastermind serial killer masterfully using "loopholes" and lawyering up all sneaky and dodging Justice and if only our poor little cop protags were allowed to do A TEENY BIT of Justified Police Brutality, they could Save Lives!
and like sometimes in the show they will have a patient die despite his efforts to narratively punish him. not to mention, i think its been at least mildly brought up and glossed over how much they absolutely do not think about insurance costs for these ppl for the insane amount of tests that find nothing and Wrong Medications To Force A Diagnosis they use? i think it was brought up once in the episode following a day in the life of cuddy where she had to fight a lawsuit bc a guys insurance like didnt cover his thumb being reattached but chase reattached it anyway while in surgery cos it was The Right Thing To Do and the guy didnt have the money to cover it and the insurance wouldnt pay unless he sued the hospital or whatever. thats like the only time its come up. whereas like frequently the doctor I go to for osteopathic manipulation tries to check in with me and make sure im covered by insurance etc and that im not going to go broke or get buried in medical debt seeing her.
idk. just some Thoughts. not a defense of our current system and all the flaws it enables and enforces etc. his approach to medicine is really reminiscent to me of what I know of the Heroic Era Of Medicine which i dont...love? and hes framed on here as being an asshole but would kill for his patients to get them a diagnosis etc. but hes definitely extremely paternalistic to patients ? and despite some good clippable lines about ableism and being against eugenics, it honestly feels like his stance on that is kind of a toss up.
#toy txt post#AGAIN THIS IS NOT A DEFENSE OF OUR CURRENT SYSTEM NOR AM I TRYING TO 'CANCEL' THE SHOW#i am simply processing some Thoughts about it#and wishing better doctors upon all of you when you need them#doctors who Listen To You and who Put In The Effort and The Work to figure out why you feel like shit#who also arent calling you slurs the whole time and throwing random fucking medications at you that destroy your liver or whatever#but give them data. idk. like sometimes in the show it does seem like they need to do that! like the patient is actively dying and the risk#to info ratio is such that it makes sense. other times its like you like definitely couldve done other things to rule shit out but you#needed to fit this whole patient arc into a single episode#not to mention i feel like any doctor who approached shit even close to the way he does would Not have his success rate#no matter how smart the payoff would Not be worth it bc theyd kill more patients. they would not be getting lucky everytime. real life does#not have a plot narrative to fulfill if house treated you he'd just fucking kill you#also one more disclaimer I AM AWARE DR GREGORY HOUSE IS A FICTIONAL MADE UP BLORBO CHARACTER#AND THAT MOST OF THE PPL JOKING ABOUT THIS DO NOT NEED THE REMINDERS OR WARNINGS OR DISCLAIMERS ABOUT HIM ETC ETC#IM SIMPLY THINKING ABOUT HIM AND THIS SHOW AND REAL LIFE#and am only a little bit uncomfortable w the level to which his approach is romanticized on tumblr dot com. but i understand why and like#fair enough#anyway watching house MD is like a sawbones episode displaced in time and Very Worrying#i just have the finale of s7 left and then i will start s8#and i am dreading the aphobia episode. but it cannot be worse than the horrific intersexism and transphobic he's put on display right#right?#i guess its probably not worse in that from what ive seen on tumblr. he is being aphobic to an adult and not a teenager. so#also house is infuriating bc if you remove the doctor bit. i have met this man so many times and i want to kill him ♡#the guy who is just allowed to stampede through life being a total ass with no pushback or accountability and terrorize people#hes a bad employee and a worse boss#okay turning reblogs off on this cos i dont trust ppl. i think i have replies restricting to mutuals too so#that way this doesnt break containment and get misinterpreted
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god im tired
#had class at two then back to back exams#and was braindead and crying by the time i got back at like 7:15 so just played video games for a few hours#and now i need to start studying for diffeq on friday#god i cant wait till saturday#would say friday afternoon but of fucking course i have three different fucking assignments due friday 11:59#what fucker thought “yeah we'll just put strengths of materials and physics back to back then diffeq two days after”#and ofc it's “mEntAl hEalTh wEeK” at my school#so im just sitting here crying for the tenth time today over physics/strengths/diffeq#and the advisors are spamming “come to this three hour webinar about burnout”#like...really#fuck everything why the hell did i ever think i was smart enough for engineering#my senior self was like “ooh this is cool” about circuits and lil robots and power tools#and now im sobbing over free body diagrams#am entirely convinced electric fields are black magic bc none of that shit makes any sense#im just so tired like i spent hours studying for these exams#did 2-3 backexams for each got little sleep since sunday#and i fucked both of them up massively#course my professor was like “if you can do these you can do the exam”#and i did those problems easily the night before and was like okay! let's work on physics!#and then the exam hit me like a fucking freight train#i can't even do the basic shit like stay fully awake for all my classes#bc of course they only offer three of the engineering courses back to back to back starting at 8:30 in the fucking morning#and im fine in thermo but just start completely crashing during strengths and am just half dead in diffeq#accidentally put my head down during a five minute break once and woke up twenty minutes later 😭#i am not a morning person#starting at 10am is fine but 8:30am?#adrenaline gets me through the first hour but then im just dead
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there's rlly interesting numerology stuff or whatever about the yin and yang and 1d 2d 3d 4d 5d planes and how those relate to 3,6, 9 etc. in numerology and how a complete multiplanar mash up creates new levels of existence like opening your 3rd eye and accessing your crown and ascending dimensional barriers etc etc idk I can't explain smart stuff but..... Zoro
#i truly wonder if oda got so deep into developing zoro that he got into like#all that rlly technical sciency numerology vitruvian man golden ratio yin and yang shit#like a full spiritual ascension#god i wish i was smart enough to explain all the smart things i know about#but i was just looking at this stuff again bc its interesting snd i was like#woah#the concept of this growth from 1d plane to ascension is just like Zoro and his growth and all the numeric symbolism surrounding him#especially when u add asura into the equation#or his missing eye and ability to transcend death#it all can easily be related to spiritual ascension and enlgihtenment#like im constantly screaming at ppl that zoros not fucking emo#not bc he doesnt have emotions or the ability to access them#but because he practices this stuff#ppl only notice his weight training#they give no mind to his meditation and mindfulness training#zoro puts a lot of work into his inner regulation mindset emotions and strength#which is essential to accessing higher forms of existence and overcoming limitations#zoro can heal himself faster than most just by resting#that involves controlling your chakras and the flow of your own body#and breathing#and thoughts#its like when someone convinces themselves theyre pregnant so they experience every single sympton of pregnancy#aside from the baby#you can control your brain and control how it functions with your body#i practice mindfullness and#im not GREAT at it#but i can dissipate anxiety attacks breakdowns etc#by practicing my meditation tricks and mindfulness tricks#i can make my migraines go away by meditating#idk do u get what im saying
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i’ve tried so many energy drinks in the last week and i did not expect monster to be the one that tastes best
#all the others had that gross im an energy drink after taste to them but the monster was just straight up good#none of them have done jack shit for my fatigue but that doesnt exactly surprise me#i had four days in a row where i was awake for over 24 hours#one where i was up for 33#theyre just getting more and more frequent and since my hearts been up the shit recently they reckon i need to go back to the doctors#i needed to anyway for scripts and cause its been so long since my last in person appointment#i just know it wont be the last one and since im thinking of switchig up my meds he might make me go see my cardio again an i cant be fucked#i havent seen him since before covid and hes moved since then so i bet hell want an in person too#im not driving three hours for an ‘oh at least youre looking happier’ and a new script he couldve just emailed me#ive doubled the dosage of my meds which i know isnt smart but i wanted to do something in the meantime#i dont know if hell want me to increase or switch up altogether#but these were the first meds i ever responded to#ive got through like six others and they all did jack shit#no benefits no side effects nothing#and i remember how bad i felt before i was put on these and i cant be bothered feeling like that again waiting to see if something new works#and yeah these never really worked right but at least they worked enough#as long as i dont have to do an in person with my cardio ill deal#i just doubt ill be that lucky#spoonie#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt
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i came back to the dorm and one of the turtles is straight up missing (...she's probably dead is my guess but i didn't wanna hit my roommate with that question during class yk) and the tank (which still contains a live turtle) is full of fucking BUBBLING algae my roommate's stuff was On My Bed the floor is. gross and roomie's cat's (pretty limited amount of) toys are nowhere to be seen (meaning he's attacking me and i have nothing to redirect him with) one of my baskets has been shredded and ??? one of my skirts (which was presumably hung up before i left) was found on the floor of my closet fucking dried stiff and stained both yellow AND glittery????? everything smells awful in a familiar way i can't quite identify and the floors are sticky in a bunch of places. what the FUCK is going on
#i don't have like a mop or anything! what am i gonna do sponge the floors down??#she said she doesn't remember if the closet was opened or closed but like. nothing i had in there could have done that to the skirt#(...probably? the only liquid i had in there was fucking. laundry detergent)#(and there's no evidence of that spilling or leaking)#im trying to figure out how reasonable it'd be to like. confront my roommate about this#she's got a lot going on and i am Not the kind of person who's gonna give her shit for some mess#but it was actually ridiculous this time#she was staying in the dorm over winter break and i wasn't. for context#side note but rascal has Another new bed? he doesn't even care about beds very much WHERE ARE HIS TOYS. HELP ME? PLEASE?#im so tired pls it's the FIRST DAY BACK#god im not smart enough for this. i asked her and she said she doesn't pay attention to whether or not my closet door#is closed and like fair ig but smth about it is off to me bc like How Else Would It Have Gotten Like That#im confident it was closed when i came in and it was almost certainly closed when i left like 5 weeks ago#but im. really not good at assessing whether or not ppl are lying to me. like idk maybe it was some kind of mysterious leak#or i hung it up to dry and it fell and dried weird (idr if it was wet or not when i left)#my own distrust of her for how she treats her animals AND my sympathy for struggling with caring for animals#in the midst of burnout/a very demanding life are at odds and both are biasing me in opposite directions#well anyway i can't unpack a lot of my stuff bc im just. confounded by it#i'll clean the floor over there later i just can't right now im too out of it#also rascal has been very sweet too he's just Extremely pent up over the whole 'small room with Literally Nothing to do all day' life he has#truthfully he smells/his fur feels kinda weird too but it might just be bc ive been gone for a bit#bc i feel like i remember that from last time too#i could forgive a lot of these things individually but all of them at once? man.#another entry in 'is she depressed or just not very considerate?'#(<- she's never mentioned anything approaching depression/etc i just can't imagine.. not being depressed)#but the turtle thing is the worst bc like. how do i even bring that up. i don't wanna reopen that wound yk#and while there's a bit of 'see i told you' going on she probably feels bad enough already right. maybe#but she also doesn't know Shit about how to care for turtles and ignored my warnings. that turtle was sick for months#and vets are expensive but she'll spend money on these high end shoes as they drop and then act too broke to get a $10 heat bulb. whatever#idk. i should've pushed her harder. it hasn't really sunken in yet but it's my fault too. guh
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Oh my god he thinks I'm boring doesn't he. He doesn't find me interesting and talking to me feels like a chore im going to kms
#i figured it out a while ago#i think im over the initial hurt and am now kind of moving towards the distancing myself phase#bc he can't leave me if i leave him first#so get fucked#everyone eventually leaves because i cant hold their attention long enough#im not interesting enough#someone else can always make them laugh louder#or longer#or harder#or more often#theres always someone else who's more exciting than me#or who's idea of exciting matches theirs more than mine does#someone else who can make the mundane seem like so much more#and for some reason i can't seem to fucking figure out whatever fuck ass magic those people have#i dont have it#it doesnt matter if im smart or good looking or talented or amy other number of redeeming qualities#bc even all together they don't add up to equal what being FUN to someone means#banging my head against the wall#not that it even matters i guess#my big plan was to just run away and never stay put in one spot long enough to get attached to anyone anyways#always on the move#the only consistent company being the open road#i cant tell if im just lonely or a glutton for punishment#this is why i stopped branching out#stopped trying to meet people or make friends#everything is fucked up and evil and i wasnt meant for this shit#crawling back to the shelter of my room where the only person who can bother me is myself#and my sister#i don't think i could push her away even if i tried#shes like a barnacle
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