#but why are we making up lies about it wanting world domination or some shit

[garlic-and-vanilla]

“You feel the Emperor's fear as if it were your own. An elder brain enslaved is one thing, an elder brain unleashed will be the end of everything.”

This is a quote from early in the long rest scene you get after discovering that Stelmane has been murdered.

The Emperor is afraid because it knows that if the Absolute breaks free of the stones’ control, it will be the end of everything, everywhere, as everyone knows it.

This isn’t some kind of recent revelation, there’s no reason to believe Emps didn’t know this from the start.

So why didn’t it take the protection of the prism and that nautiloid Gortash put it in command of and get the fuck out of dodge? Why didn’t it just hop planes until it was as far from Toril as possible and start a new life? The Absolute would usher in the Grand Design, sure, but that’s not a process that would happen quickly. At least, not quickly enough to reach a rogue illithid who had parked itself at the opposite end of the universe before said illithid died of old age.

Hell, why not try eating Orpheus too? The Emperor will say it’s too risky, if Tav asks it about doing so in act 2, but that becomes a gamble it’s willing to take by the end of act 3.

So why doesn’t the Emperor just give up its life in Baldur’s Gate, retire to the farthest plane it can find, and find out if making Orpheus its lunch will confer the Power to itself. What are the downsides? If it doesn’t work then all Emps has to do is stay outside the Absolute’s zone of influence until something else eventually kills him. Not ideal, but pretty doable considering it would have a spelljamming nautiloid at its disposal.

But guess what? The Emperor doesn’t do that. It says “this elder brain unleashed will be the end of everything” and it scrapes together a plan to kill the Absolute while it’s still able to be killed.

The Emperor had the means and ability to nope the hell out, and instead it put itself at the mercy of strangers with nothing but the hope that they would help it stop this apocalyptic threat. It spends the events of the game in a cage of its own making, with its life, its freedom, and the fate of Toril and ultimately every other world lying in the player’s hands.

And at the end, it doesn’t want control of the Absolute. You have to pass a persuasion check to get it to do anything but command the Brain to die. It wants that threat dead.

Then people want to try and argue that the Emperor is evil and only wants to manipulate Tav into taking over the world.

Yeah okay buddy. Sure. Guess we’re playing different games.

[skyselfships]

stealing the premise of the tsumtsum event in twisted wonderland where tsum counterparts show up, look cute, and cause problems until they gotta go back to their world. tldr hades and alexis meet their tsum counterparts and babysit them until the tsums return to their world

hades finds a tsum resembling alexis. it looks like her but...

"who did this to you?" is the first thing he says. little does he know, that plushie-looking thing is not her. "was it hecate? circe? give me a name here. c'mon, let me at 'em."

he gets pain and panic to babysit the thing while he's busy. it's cute and seems harmless, what could go wrong?

EVERYTHING. the alexis tsum is a LITTLE SHIT. it zooms around and tackles everyone head-first. in minutes, the tsum escapes. cue comedic chase that causes destruction left and right. by the time hades walks in on pain and panic, the tsum is gone and the place is on fire.

meanwhile in the mortal realm, alexis finds a tsum resembling hades except the hair isn't on literal fire. it's so scrunkly and cute! (you should see the IRL plush version rather than the game version lmao) and when she sees cute, she wants to pet it.

she proceeds to pet the tsum, ticking it off. so it starts tackling her. it seems to have inherited hades' short temper. his attacks do nothing to stop her. she keeps petting it and finding it cute. (the tsums in twst's collab event seem to be around the size of a person's head in card art and almost hand-sized in the live2d sprite. they can also change size when they want)

eventually alexis picks up the tsum and proceeds to carry it around with her. she can show it the world~ shining shimmering splendid~ yeah, that tsum is a captive audience.

the two eventually meet with their tsum counterparts.

"it's you!" Alexis holds the Hades tsum out to the god like with a cat. The tsum immediately glares at him.

"Oh no, there's two of them." The Alexis tsum wriggles and attempts to jump out of Hades' arms only for the god to catch it in time and hold it close against his torso.

"caaaannnn we keep 'em?" "ABSOLUTELY NOT."

they don't go to anyone about the tsums. hades doesn't want the other gods seeing a marketable plushie version of him. zeus would be VERY annoying if he found out.

the two have to babysit the tsums

hades already learned not to let pain and panic babysit the tsums. so he lets alexis do it. they look eager to anyway.

hades has to do underworld work. his tsum is there, staring.

that's a mini-hades so "why don't you make yourself useful and- HEY!" the tsum immediately turns around and dashes off. is this what it's like to interact with hades? ...NAHHHH.

alexis shows the tsums around the underworld, even introduces them to cerberus. that's when they learned the tsums can change size at will. because cerberus was barking and tsum!hades decided to assert dominance by changing to his size.

at some point, the four hang out in the mortal realm. alexis says they need enrichment. and hades gets an excuse to take a break. charon doesn't want the tsums causing problems in the underworld. pain and panic are already KO'd from tsum!alexis earlier. so here they are.

hades is still not over his tsum counterpart's appearance. what even is that thing? must he bear witness to a mockery of his visage?

hades is jealous of tsum!hades getting coddled even though alexis treats the tsums like pets. he should be the one getting forehead kisses, not the marketable plushie! he envies that she can touch its head without burning her hand.

alexis gets jealous when her tsum headbutts hades' hand and he pets it. the tsum lies on hades' lap like a cat. she wishes that were her. she wants headpats too. so she headbutts hades' shoulder. luckily he has two hands.

tsum!alexis nyooms around the field like a cat with the zoomies. tsum!hades wants to be tall so he climbs onto hades' shoulder. tsum!alexis tries to interact with tsum!hades only to get tackled but it instantly gets back up unbothered and goes back to zoomies mode before flopping onto its side and sleeping.

more tsum shenanigans happen. in the end, the tsums have to go. there's a portal clearly meant for them. they share their farewells and the tsums depart.

at least hades doesnt have to babysit anymore.

bonus because hercules and meg have tsums

alexis and hercules never ever meet but this is a comedy thing so let's ignore that

"Oh no, not more of them." Meg remarks. The Hades tsum glares at her. Is she trying to pick a fight?!

tsum!hades can be seen glaring at tsum!hercules. hades is obligated to be civil but wants the tsums to fight. maybe if his tsum can beat up wonderboy's tsum, he has a chance at taking down wonderboy too!

tsum!meg just stares. they can't tell what's on its mind or how it feels.

hades greets the meg tsum, stupid grin and all. the tsum promptly tackles him in the stomach.

"YES YES THE STOMACH GO FOR THE STOMACH! THAT'S WHERE THE ORGANS ARE! HIT HIM WHERE IT HURTS!" "Babe- you can't betray me like this! You're supposed to cheer for me, not the- NUTMEG, CONTROL YOUR KID!" "Tear him apart!"

tsum!alexis paws at meg pleadingly with its stubby little limbs

"What's it doing?" "Maybe it wants attention." "What is it? A dog?" "More like a cat, actually. It had the zoomies earlier." "Are you a cat?" "I wish."

alexis pets the meg tsum because she's weak to cute things. she gets attacked for it.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

While I respect that Islam-dominated countries do have it worse than America, let's not deny that America is loaded with tons of problems caused by the religious right, like historical revisionism, the denial of abortion rights, and whatever the hell created trump's cult. The reason a lot of people who don't like it don't leave is because they can't, mostly due to financial issues. Just because my neighbor is paralyzed, that doesn't mean my broken arm is any less of an issue.

Let's imagine for a moment that money was no object. Where would you go? Where in the world do you think doesn't have a right-wing, with a large proportion of religious?

Canada? Sweden? UK? All of those countries have abortion laws that are comparable to, or even stricter than, many state laws in the US. For example, California bans abortion after fetal viability (~24-26 weeks), while Sweden bans it after 18 weeks (notwithstanding those medically necessary due to risk to the mother or fetus).

Regarding historical revisionism, that's not unique to the right or the left. The 1619 Project, for example. Not only did they fabricate a bogus history, the lead author denied even the pretence of objectivity, and then fabricated an alternate history where she never said the things she said. (See: #1619Gate.) You should be as concerned about one as the other, but also notice that it doesn't require religiosity -- at least in the conventional sense. Fundamentalist ideology works just as well.

As far as Trump goes, I think Bill Maher put it best:

So why do Republicans stand by him now? The easy answer is they're deplorables, ignorant and bad, and yes, there is some of that. I'm sorry, if I'm going to stay in America, and America is going to stay America, I can't write off half the country that easily. Also, I talk to deplorables. So let me try to translate. Not endorse, but translate for liberal America. Part of the appeal of a Herschel Walker, or a Donald Trump or any number of egregious assholes Republicans have backed is, in their mind, the worse a candidate is, the more it says to Democrats "do you see how much we don't like what you're selling?" "All that socialism and identity politics and victimhood and oversensitivity and cancel culture and white self-loathing and forcing complicated ideas about race and sex on kids too young to understand it? Literally anything would be better than that." That's their view. That's why you can be a really bad dude in Republican politics, and it's not a deal breaker. [..] I'm not so sure [the fetish breasts trans teacher] isn't doing this to make a statement. That anyone can do absolutely anything in the name of wokeness and the left will never stop them. And that's when Republicans say "well then we'll have to, no matter who we have to elect to do it." The fact that Republicans have no shame in their game, and will vote for any monster with an R by his name is their way of signaling how serious they are about blocking this shit.

There's a sense that what opened up the opportunity for people like Trump was the shift of the left away from the core party principles, towards esoteric, postmodern and, let's face it, pretentious ideas. That they abandoned their historical constituency and their historical platforms related to concerns over socio-economic class, and became fixated on identity politics, rather than economics politics. Stupid ideas like those that eventually gave birth to "defund the police," which nobody who was affected by police reduction actually wanted; it came from white middle-class people who would never have to bear the brunt of the the results. Luxury beliefs. (And if anyone wants to insist that "nObOdY mEaNt ThAt," I'm going to call them a liar.)

When you cut through the horseshit of Trump's lies and megalomania, the message he has is simple, and yet enticing to average America: "they don't care about you and your working class jobs, your middle-America values, your nuclear family. They're east and west-coast elites who look down on you." Such as calling a good chunk of the population "deplorables."

Now, as someone who doesn't believe for a second that he genuinely has their interests at heart or in mind, or anything other than his own self-interest and self-promotion, I can still see he has a point here.

His particular brand of insane multi-billionaire schtick being sold to average Americans is not the remedy. Re-asserting classical liberal ethics is, not embracing right-wing populist illiberalism. I still regard myself as left-ish, but I don't recognize the incarnations of the left that are now manifesting in countries that have succumbed to this crap. While I would be willing to vote for a sane conservative head of government, I would rather have my left back. But I get why people might view him as the alternative.

A Trump doesn't come out of nowhere. He comes about as a reaction to or shift in something else. He's an opportunist and a predator, and he's exploited a vulnerability in America. The question shouldn't be why he's exploiting that vulnerability, because if it wasn't him, it would be someone else. The question should be what created that vulnerability in the first place that opened the door for him.

--

I'm not saying don't fix the remaining issues, but don't act like the majority of the really big ones haven't already been addressed. And don't act like the liberalism on which your society is organized isn't equipped to, or capable of, fixing what remains.

Frankly, I see a lot of what you described as a natural part of the liberal system doing its job. Or, supposed to be doing its job, when people actually do liberalism. Maybe I'm a naive idealist in that way.

Look at it this way: everything you're concerned about can be inverted, and that's what the Republicans are concerned about. That's why I describe it as disagreements. "But I'm right," you might say. So do they. These are matters of opinion.

The reason why countries like America, Canada, UK, etc are better than Islam-dominated countries isn't because there are no problems. It's because it has a system to fight over those problems that doesn't involve either going to war, or having a regime kill everyone who disagrees. In an Islamic regime, there are no matters of opinion, no disagreements. There is compliance with Islamic doctrine, or there is retribution.

Eerily, the failure of people to do liberalism is creating the same thing. In a woke regime, there are no matters of opinion, no disagreements. There is compliance with Critical Theory, words like "woman", "man" and "racism" have been redefined for ideological objectives, there are new phrases like "birthing people" and "parents of childbearing potential," while other words, such as "same-sex attraction" and "merit" are haram. And if you don't comply, there is cancel culture.

Liberalism is not an ideology or a set of policies or beliefs. It's a method for conflict resolution. It's a way for different ideas to compete be thrashed out, be tested, accepted, rejected, negotiated, and so forth. I actually see many - not all, but many - of these discussions, arguments and disagreements as a good thing. It's a liberal system in motion. What you're describing is simply a moment in time. Look back 20 years to the gay rights movements, or 60 years to the civll rights movements.

That's what messy democracies look like while hashing out their disagreements.

--

One thing I will point out is that the US is a union of states, just as Canada is a federal dominion of provinces and territories, and Australia is a federation of states and territories. Laws like abortion occur at the state level because it allows citizens to build the kind of state that they want. To nominate and vote in representatives that will implement the laws they want. This is intentional, and by design. So whichever side you fall on in regards to abortion, cannabis, euthanasia, gun laws, whatever, you have the ability to find or create the state that suits your views. As the saying goes, it's a feature, not a bug; a specific, intentional design by the founders, and it's why so many laws relating to social issues operate at the state level, not the federal level.

You can have the state that suits you, and someone else can have the state that suits them.

Roe v Wade didn't create new law, and it certainly wasn't "settled law." All it did was put a pause on the existing laws. What it being overturned means is that, because abortion is not protected by the US constitution, control returns to the states. The states - that is, the people - get to decide what they want their state to look like.

That's not a failure or error, that's the US functioning as it's supposed to.

--

Obviously I reject religious arguments and claims, as anyone can and should. But in regards to abortion, this is not simply an argument of religion vs everyone else; there are philosophical aspects to the abortion debate that have nothing to do with ancient superstitions.

Even if you support choice (as I do), how comfortable are you with the "any time, any reason" of the hard-line "pro-choice" activists?

[ Amanda Herring, left, poses for a portrait with the words "not yet a human" written on her pregnant belly during an abortion rights demonstration in front of the Supreme Court on Friday. Herring, who is Jewish, told CNN that her religion has helped shape her views on abortion. "Judaism says that life begins with the first breath, that is when the soul enters the body," she said. Source: CNN ]

On the other end of the spectrum is the hard-line "at no time, for any reason."

Do I support the right of Amanda Herring to abort her baby at 38-39 weeks? Hell no. And don't give me "tHaT nEvEr HaPpEnS!" Then why does it need to be legal? There shouldn't be a problem legislating against something that never happens, right?

And why do these exist?

[ Source: Redbubble ]

And let's not forget that religious nonsense - in this case, Judaism - cannot be a justification for "pro-choice" any more than it can be a justification for "pro-life." It's would be colossally hypocritical of her to oppose religious (Xian) arguments against abortion (which is justified) while promoting religious (Jewish) arguments for abortion.

Do I support her right to abort at 4 weeks? Absolutely.

Now start counting upwards from say 10 weeks upwards, and see me get less certain and less comfortable. Which would be true of most people.

Look at this graph from Pew Research for a moment:

You have however many agreeing with the Dem party position ("pro-choice"), and however many agreeing with the Rep party position ("pro-life").

Now, I don't know that either party has actually adopted those hard-line positions as official policy, but they operate as the de facto positions in the debate between the activists.

But don't focus on the blue or the red. Look at the gray section in the middle. There is a large cohort in the middle which doesn't agree with either party.

Because most people have a more nuanced view than these two extremes. (There's an irony that some of the people who think sex is a "spectrum" think you're either for or against, with no gradation in between.)

The majority of people think the length of pregnancy should matter.

The majority of people agree with the right to choose (first trimester), yet also disagree with "any time, any reason" (third trimester).

Did you know there's a Democrats for Life, and a Republicans for Choice? Or that a third of Republicans support choice?

Or that, among Democrats who say abortion should be illegal, more than half are women? Or that Medium religiosity of Democrats on both sides sits within 10 points?

[ See also: A closer look at Republicans who favor legal abortion and Democrats who oppose it ]

One of the reasons I support choice is because it is a morally fraught question, that parents have to wrestle with the reality of it, they know what they're discussing and considering, because there aren't only religious concerns or objections. Because at 6 weeks, atheists who don't subscribe to myths about the soul or god's commandments are still aware of what they're contemplating.

In the majority of WEIRD (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich and Democratic) countries where abortion is legal, there are also limits, although these also include exceptions, such as for danger to the mother, for example.

Canada by province and Australia by state:

In most of Europe, it ranges from 10-24 weeks. Keep in mind that 24 weeks is close to the end of the second trimester.

Ask people from these locations whether they feel "oppressed" by this. There will undoubtedly be people who think these should be longer or shorter, but my point here isn't the outcome, it's the process. Take, for example, what happened in the UK:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_in_the_United_Kingdom

When a further Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill (now enacted) was considered by Parliament in 2008, several votes were held on the term limit in Britain, as follows: • reduction from 24 weeks to 12 weeks (71 ayes, 393 noes); • reduction from 24 weeks to 16 weeks (84 ayes, 386 noes); • reduction from 24 weeks to 20 weeks (190 ayes, 331 noes); and • reduction from 24 weeks to 22 weeks (233 ayes, 304 noes).

You can see that at different term limit points, people become less or more certain. They're more willing to consider reducing from 24 weeks to 22 weeks than from 24 to 12. Because it isn't purely the religious trying to dictate to everyone else.

--

When Roe v Wade was struck down, there had already been 50 years of opportunity to codify Roe v Wade through a constitutional amendment.

This is comparable to what happened recently with the Respect for Marriage Act, which had bipartisan support, and is what's actually supposed to happen in these kinds of situations. If they had not, the 2015 ruling would have been at future risk of being overturned.

But they didn't. And now that it is overturned, there's no motivation for those states with laws or amendments banning or restricting it to come back and do so. Prior to it being overturned, the pro-choice side should have been motivated by a desire to mitigate the risk of overturn, and the pro-life side should have been motivated to solidify something that they could live with - as we've seen, most people support some form of choice. But all that's gone away, and this isn't something congress can "fix" after the fact.

Keep in mind the Supreme Court doesn't, and can't, create new laws. It rules on the constitutionality of laws when they're challenged. And the constitution doesn't define what you can or can't do, it defines what the government can or can't do. The constitution is about limitations on the government. Any constitutional amendment which was writtten to codify Roe v Wade would have been about limiting the government's ability to legislate abortion, not institute "rights." That's not what the constitution is for.

If you've ever read the 14th Amendment, which is the linchpin to Roe v Wade, it's kind of astonishing that it was ever successful in the first place. Even if you support the effect it had, you should still be surprised it wasn't struck down earlier. (Seriously, have you people actually read it?) The fact the pro-choice side seemed to think this house built on sand was "settled law" and resisted, or never pursued, locking in something that could not be overturned without amending the constitution again, even if it would mean conceding term limits or other qualifications, will remain a mistake with lasting consequences.

One of the very obvious problems is that a fetus at 20 weeks and 1 hour is indistinguishable from a fetus at 19 weeks, 6 days and 23 hours. Like evolution, there are no milestones. And every pregnancy is different. There is no "right" answer.

But as is often the case, the perfect is the enemy of good. Because although there might be no "right" answer, there can be a "good enough" or "less bad" option. Many countries, provinces and states have used their liberal processes to argue out a "good enough" answer. And this could have been negotiated and codified in the US.

Along with a program of sex education and contraceptive access and education, to make it, as the saying goes, safe, legal and rare.

But it wasn't. So, now it goes back to the states, and they each get to do it.

--

So this isn't a problem of "the religious right." It's a function of shaky case law, the extremists on both sides causing stalemates through (different) arguments from authority ("because god said"/"because I said"), a ticking timebomb finally going off, and the structure of the US operating like it's designed to.

Remember: these legislators aren't just doing things arbitrarily. They're voted in by people whose interests, values and beliefs they represent. If the people are unhappy, they vote them out and vote in someone who will do what they want.

Circling back to my point, when I see the abortion debate, and what's going on post-Roe, I see a messy democracy sorting out its disagreements. I see states codifying things into law and their constitutions one way or the other. And that's fine. Given the opportunity to codify at the level of the US constitution has been and gone, this is how it's supposed to work. They had an opportunity to avoid it all, but this is what they ended up with.

--

What we're likely to see over time, if we were to say, look 100 years into the future, is that the ground will likely be different again. Many states will have relaxed bans because the generations since have changed their views. And some states will have tightened things up from the "any time, any reason" approach (although there aren't many right now).

Again, this is liberalism at work. The evolutionary pressure of opposing views testing and being tested against each other for support.

"Liberalism’s great contribution to civilization is the way it handles conflict. No other regime has enabled large and varied groups of people to set a social agenda without either stifling their members’ differences or letting conflict get out of hand. Bertrand Russell once said that “order without authority” might be taken as the motto both of political liberalism and of science. If you had to pick a three-word motto to define the liberal idea, “order without authority” would be pretty good. The liberal innovation was to set up society so as to mimic the greatest liberal system of them all, the evolution of life. Like evolutionary ecologies, liberal systems are centerless and self-regulating and allow no higher appeal than that of each to each in an open-ended, competitive public process (a game). Thus, a market game is an open-ended, decentralized process for allocating resources and legitimizing possession, a democracy game is an open-ended, decentralized process for legitimizing the use of force, and a science game is an open-ended, decentralized process for legitimizing belief. Much as creatures compete for food, so entrepreneurs compete for business, candidates for votes, and hypotheses for supporters. In biological evolution, no species, however clever or complex, is spared the rigors of competition—nor are the participants in capitalism, democracy, science. No matter who you are, you must conduct your business in the currency of dollars, votes, or criticism—no special fiat, no personal authority." -- Jonathan Rauch, "Kindly Inquisitors"

Let's face it, though - countries like the US long ago solved problems that Islam doesn't even acknowledge, because the quran was written 1400 years ago and its morality and understanding of the world hasn't improved by a single day.

We'd do well to remember that perfection is not achievable or desirable. A perfect society can never be achieved, simply because all citizens will never agree on everything. And any "perfect" society - or attempt to create one - is functionally a repressive, totalitarian regime; take heaven, for example.

A functioning society will also be imperfect and messy because there will always be a new idea, a new scientific discovery or technology, a new thing to hash out.

Islam has only the word of god. What is the answer to any question? We look it up in the quran and religious scholars try to divine Allah's intent, applying 1400 year old "wisdom" to issues "Allah" (Muhammad) never saw coming. When they declare it, you obey. If you disagree, you're a blasphemer and an enemy of Islam.

People escape from places like this to the WEIRD countries to participate in the liberal system, because they're flexible and evolving, rather than because they're perfect. Ask someone who immigrated from a Muslim-majority country why they immigrated. Somewhere on that list is going to be the fact the Islamic government will kill them for disagreeing, because it means disagreeing with the word of Allah. In a liberal society, that disagreement is fundamental to its operation.

[ctrlgrlblog]

𝐃𝐨𝐣𝐚 𝐂𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐖𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭𝐩...

Doja Cat was honestly seen as the next biggest star in the world in everyone’s eyes. We all need music in our lives but feel good music that artists like Taylor Swift, Beyoncé and even Rihanna gave us as the dominant IT Girls of the music industry in the way that they all had their own Genre and sound. Doja Cat came out with her 2019 album AMALA and everyone wasn’t really crazy about her album but just the one and only song that gave her ultimate buzz which was her song MOO!.

Even though she released the song in 2018 she added the one song that got her famous or even gave her a name on to her 2019 album AMALA. I Honestly remember the big buzz and the world overplaying the song and just thought that the song was pretty random at the time in the world. I felt like anything at that point any song that was praised by the majority could become a chart topper or the most viewed YouTube video. The first thing that really made me not like Doja Cat was when she literally had the whole world going nuts about her and liking her sound, Just to turn around and then say that she doesn't want the song to be the song associated with how she got her success. Forever ungrateful Doja Cat then went on and became almost the world's biggest pop icon while not even really caring about it at all. It seemed like she just wanted to get her music into the mainstream media to make money off of it and then later pursue what she really wanted to do which is just making music and doing weird things.

Doja literally became famous from YouTube and her own skills which means that the cat has earned her cookie, But loving drama and responding to trolls on the internet has to really be a waste of her time. If I had the money and success that Doja Cat has I wouldn't think twice about responding or even listening to a word anyone with less than me would say to me. I and everyone around the world who really grew up with her and followed her from the start felt that she was just doing too much by letting the internet make her into a crazy person.

From responding to trolls and having literal shit-talking sessions To shaving her eyebrows and bedazzling them To shaving her head pussy clean bald, To dating a dude who has apologized and even came out about predatory behavior and even rape accusations against himself. I can understand why Doja Cat shaved her skinny ass head because I don't think I could handle the stress of having to outperform in music and still get hate or backlash. People attacked her for being on chatrooms and saying some derogatory things and even the N-word and then occasionally blocking people whom she felt she wanted to remove and block. I hate how the world has turned into this big hate train of misinformation from people who are not qualified sources. When I heard about the Doja cat chatroom situation I honestly laughed because I think we've all done worse scandalous things in life. I like my men aged like cheese and with big balls that they can rub on my face like a lava lamp so I really don't give a fuck to judge Doja Cat for calling people porch monkeys on a Wednesday afternoon in a chat room.

I think that honestly, The fact that there is a Doja Cat wiki set up for her on the internet is really insane and just weird in a way because the fact that people are this obsessed in 2023 with celebrities and Hollywood is just weird and just something that shows that the world needs to have a mental reset on what is real and what isn't. holly wood is so fucking fake and full of lies and bullshit and free drugs. Doja Cat is a grown woman and is not some "got milk?" poster girl for you to learn from and watch her every move. I feel like people need to learn how to separate the art from the artist and just like the art that is produced because then it can be supported and curated and more prosperous. But when people start to glamourize someone and just throw the human parts out the window it gets creepy, like stalker creepy.

Doja Cat knows what she's doing with the attention and the constant rebuttals she has for the internet. Doja is a strong and hot fashionista and is honestly leading the fashion world with her quirky and fresh style that is random textures but slim fitting and altogether just a hot outfit. But she starts to use her platform that she has to do more harm than good I feel that she deserves to just be ignored. From her replying to people with grotesque tweets she's become just a joke and a cornball. She's kinda like that representation of why people can't stand mixed blk kids, Because they want everyone to always kiss their ass. Doja posting her picture of a shirt with an infamous Neo-Nazi is just something that makes people ultimately separate away from her and kinda just act like she doesn't exist.

With her last album Scarlet just came out it was received very well and a lot of people still loved the music but didn't care much for the artist. I feel that she posted the neo-nazi picture and thought she was hot and cool for a day as if she was the Paris Hilton pop culture icon at that moment. Honestly, She looked pathetic. You can just tell from the makeup and shaved eyebrow diamond that she doesn't really have an identity of who she was before Doja Cat and just thinks that she's this phenomenon of a superstar, She's ashy and just a cornball attention whore and I feel that she just makes it hard for people to want to listen to her because she's always doing something just kinda stupid and her replies are just like giving out that she probably grew up in a suburban setting and thinks that she's so clever and just a cool girl and it comes on as if she thinks shes better than the people that helped her career.

I think that attention is needed in order to stay in the limelight, Maybe Doja just doesn't care if it's good or bad because she knows that there is a big want in music for her. She knows that there is no one who could sound like her or change up their style and get away with versatile sounds like she can. Drake has tried the versatility route with his Jamaican accent, British Accent, and Canadian squeaky accent and he has never been able to win over people with his different versatile sounds.

[bookoformon]

Ether 11, Part 1. "The Evaporation."

Wars, dissensions, and wickedness dominate Jaredite life—Prophets predict the utter destruction of the Jaredites unless they repent—The people reject the words of the prophets.

1 And there came also in the days of Com many prophets, and prophesied of the destruction of that great people except they should repent, and turn unto the Lord, and forsake their murders and wickedness.

2 And it came to pass that the prophets were rejected by the people, and they fled unto Com for protection, for the people sought to destroy them.

3 And they prophesied unto Com many things; and he was blessed in all the remainder of his days.

4 And he lived to a good old age, and begat Shiblom; and Shiblom reigned in his stead. And the brother of Shiblom rebelled against him, and there began to be an exceedingly great war in all the land.

Com, "sour milk" finally decides to listen to the prophets and things seem to be wont to turning around, but then Shiblom "the brakes" is born and everything goes to hell again.

Why can't the people get it right? Election years, that is why. Every four years, some asshole tries to come along and fuck things up in this country. Recent history is proof. Things were going fine after President Obama left office, especially after he cleaned up George Bush's TARP nightmare, and then, in came the buttfucker who was determined to end RVW things have just not been the same. Trump didn't come in swinging his ax about climate change, poverty, or improving the benefits of citizenship in America in any way, he wanted instead to make it easy for little girls and women to get raped.

I am outspoken about the demerits of Joe Biden's attempts to wait and see about a dead man and his Dead Man's Party, but nonetheless, this current election year explains why the world is always a mess: we lack consistency and dignity in the Oval Office. Instead of slamming on the brakes of iniquity, we always seem to want to stir sinful things up.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 1: And there came also in the days of Com many prophets, and prophesied of the destruction of that great people except they should repent, and turn unto the Lord, and forsake their murders and wickedness. = The Torah.

The Torah was first printed and distributed in the 16th century. The Torah did not just drop out of the sky and everyone's talking about it. It has always been with the human race. And about people like Donald Trump and the Republicans it has a few things to say. Attacking Israel is not one of them.

The Value in Gematria is 8946, חטדו‎ , htado, "evaporation."

There are circumstances like the death of a child or loss of a loved one, a divorce, even subtle things like aging, or not so subtle like getting fired are the reasons we turn to faith. Faith is not meant to steer crazy persons away or make them obey the law and do the right things. This is supposed to be basic to modern human civilization.

When we turn to the Torah and realize we are in deep shit because Donald Trump is not an ethical person and niether are the people he associates with, Donald Trump is an adulterer, he lies, he fucks little kids, he murders, it is too ironic. The dream has evaporated, leaving us with questions with answers that are quite straightforward.

Faith was not created to remind us we possess basic values, these are legal requirements, it is supposed to teach and support us when the answers for our questions are not so obvious, for experiences in life that really are unfathomable without God's help.

God knows we are going to experience knocks and pings in life but not the sort that will force the whole world to take notice and then need to recover from. Our sins are too big, they are too far reaching. They need to be toned down.

Rather than accept this, we turn the pages of the law books and the Scripture and pretend:

v. 2: And it came to pass that the prophets were rejected by the people, and they fled unto Com for protection, for the people sought to destroy them. The Value in Gematria is 7941, זטדא‎, "a cyst."

A cyst is when one discovers one has too many problems. The more you rub it and the worse it gets, growing above and also below the skin. A cyst has to be removed by a professional:

v. 3: And they prophesied unto Com many things; and he was blessed in all the remainder of his days. The Value in Gematria is 4507, דהאֶפֶסז‎‎‎, דהפייסז, "deface."

Donald Trump is the face of our national cyst. He is one man that sits at the top of a large spiritual cancer that is affecting America. Disasters, murders, tragedies, terrorism, and threats of the collapse of our international relations, which have always been America's strength, are being popularized, turned into something patriotic and beneficial, like a Flintsone Vitamin.

He needs to be completely effaced, and removed from our lives which means the Republican Party and its embers will have to be extinguished.

The Book of Mormon promises if we do this, life will go on. If we don't...

v. 4: And he lived to a good old age, and begat Shiblom; and Shiblom reigned in his stead. And the brother of Shiblom rebelled against him, and there began to be an exceedingly great war in all the land. The Value in Gematria is 6194, ו‎‎אטד‎ ‎‎, and ated, "rebel and go to the Thorn Bush."

Recall Moses went to see God on Sinai so the two could discuss what to do about a Pharaoh, the Hebrew word for Confederate, a man who forms a nation by taking away his people's rights. What did God tell Moses to do? He said, "tell Pharaoh to let the people go."

America is toying with the possibility it will allow a man who brokers power to himself by taking away the rights of others. This violates every principal of government and administration we have agreed to abide by for centuries.

So, someone please inform the public that Donald Trump will NOT be on that ballot in November, the Republican Party, a state sponsor of terrorism will be prosecuted and closed for all the evil it has done to its own people, and the light of God's Grace will finally shine on the people of this nation, and then all around the world.

This is why one should read the Torah or the Gospels in particular to find ways to bring the blessings of the God of Creation out of the realm of the unfathomable into real world and make it a better place.

[autumnalwalker]

Incorrect Quotes Tag Game: Ships Edition (Round 2)

Thank you for the tag, @kahvilahuhut. I'm amused that this one came back to me in only two steps of tag transfer.

Rules: use this generator to make some incorrect ship-related quotes.

Unfortunately, I'm out of canon ships after last time. So instead we get an extra layer of incorrectness as I pull from the non-canon alternate timeline where Eris and Lacuna avoided ever learning about the existence of the supernatural, wound up meeting anyway, and became a couple instead of (or perhaps in addition to) best friends. Notably, the canon versions of Eris and Lacuna would be just about as put off to find that there's a version of them that's a couple as this version would be to find out about a timeline where they're not.

(Incorrect quotes under "Keep reading" line for swearing and lewd humor.)

Lacuna: I'm trash. Eris: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you? Lacuna: Lacuna: You smooth motherfucker. Lacuna: And yes it does.

Lacuna: So you like cats? Eris: Yeah. Lacuna: *tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

Eris: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Lacuna! Lacuna: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Lacuna: What are you in the mood for? Eris: World domination. Lacuna: That's a bit ambitious. Eris: You are my world. Lacuna: Aww... Eris: Lacuna: Eris: Lacuna: OH.

Lacuna: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Eris: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Lacuna: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Eris: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Lacuna: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Eris: Is it working?

Eris: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Lacuna: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Eris: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Lacuna: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Okay, I lied, I found a couple I hadn't seen before that fit Sullivan and Carnette:

Carnette: We’re getting married, bitches! Sullivan: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

Carnette: BE A BETTER PERSON! Sullivan: WHY?! Carnette: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

[bastardizedbitching]

i’ve read two novels tonight it’s 3:31 am as i’m typing this if there’s a higher power fucking with us and running things down here i am staring at you and giving you the middle finger. i will become immortal using mcdonald’s preservatives and start slowly destroying the universe in seemingly innocent, harmless ways until everything we know is no longer recognizable and you will be left wondering how you lost control and the answer is ME BITCH. then i’ll make you into a giant egg eternals style and force you to die and recreate the universe but better because unlike you i don’t make the dominant species in a small pocket of my universe fucking ruin lives for shits and giggles. if there’s multiple people involved in running this shitshow i’ll do it chain reaction style everyone has to explode at the right time in order to make the new universe. and magic will be real and there will be a lot more good shit in the universe like FOOD. omigod food is so awesome. and the food won’t affect anyone’s health negatively which would be like. so sick. all of this will happen in a riverdale style plot where everything becomes more and more non sensical over time and you slowly go insane from the sheer weirdness of what is happening until you’re more insane than that guy in the mind electric. big mood honestly man sometimes you just need to sail out to your death that’s respectable goals. less respectable that you did this for your girlfriend but whatever romance is fine. kind of overused plot line whoever is writing this universe sucks at writing. change it up a little bit why aren’t enough people making musical masterpieces about that star trek shit huh. make a goddamn musical masterpiece album about those star trek concepts and then we have something new. or maybe here’s a better idea since there so much lovey dovey shit in there let there be music and let the music have GAY SEX where they are FUCKING RAW. as a certified singer bastard that’s a amazing concept. all these allo sexual folks describing the sex sounds and i have no idea what the fuck they are but if you have them MAKE SOMETHING WITH THE SEX SOUNDS. like y’all got so much to work with and no one is doing it it’s fascinating. take that first step. it only takes one person to start a trend of interesting shit. see there’s things like this in life now we gotta add some fucking horrors too but not the dull soul-sucking horror we have here with the government and capitalism and everyone wanting someone dead. PEACE AND LOVE MY DUDES. except for cops go fuck yourselves. see the universe writers had some interesting shit with my childhood where i hallucinated for a year when i was 7 we need more of that energy. not enough people these days lose their minds over non world ending shit we don’t need another disaster. actually while i’m at it WHAT THE FUCK IS THE GOP DOING?? some people really just turn off their brains and hear the most dogshit insane lies and parrot those statements word for word. sweetheart no that’s not the way go take some benadryl see the hat man expand your worldview and realize that not everything is about what is happening with our local stupid white karen assholes THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. honestly i’m pretty sure i got drunk off our vanilla extract i chugged a bunch of that shit. for fucks sake i mean it’s vanilla it should not taste spicy when i chug it. does vanilla minecraft mean nothing to you bastards?? hey another thing universe writers ever try fucking. MAKING NICE PARENTS. should not be up to half of my friends are on cps watch. i’d like to suggest some more of that peace and love 70s hippie energy. you wrote the goddamn protests live that truth. smoke weed and live a healthy stable life. now i understand perhaps you’ve been dropped as a child. or child abandonment. or parental murder. honestly all of those seem pretty common for god backstories so WE COMMIT TO THE BIT. however, consider talking your shit out. i’ve heard yoga does wonders. or a nice cup of tea. anyways peace out commit crimes be queer and disgusting about it feel the whimsy.

[chronocidalrage]

More Dark Shit

Definitely in love with (and terrified of) the dark. Because that’s where all the good and bad things are. Love is in the dark, because you have to go into the unknown to find it. It may be a bright light, but it hides in the dark. That feeling of being both in love with the dark and terrified of it, that dominates my feelings a lot of the time.

I can tell I’m anxious tonight. Things are happening soon and I’m nervous. But I also feel a little bit of something that MIGHT be some form of excitement which makes me even more nervous.

I’m realizing though that I don’t spend my time doing the things I want to do, or the things that make me happy, but the things that I’m comfortable doing. That’s the math equation I’m always doing.

ATOM I think you feel further away when I’m present. When I’m in my current world and I’m the jaded, pessimistic, guarded version of myself that I’ve been for the last 4 years. That version of Alex has been missing Atom for a long time. He never fully had Atom.

But when I feel more like my old self, when I’m weak or open, I feel closer to Atom in a lot of ways.

That said, I guess I can accept that original/real Atom is gone. He’s been gone for a long time. But even recent Atom? Late stage Atom? Him too?! That seems insane and impossible.

RANDOM Some dude on Twitter said “the truth is expensive, the lies are all free” and that’s so perfect.

ALONE When I’m alone I turn into Kevin McCallister, because that was my idea of the benefit of not having a family. You got to do whatever you want. Eat junk food, watch TV. Make bad choices. So as my family fell apart, I sought out this behavior. It’s a consolation.

LIFE Everything overwhelms me. Thinking of everything I may have to be in the morning. I’d rather be eating and watching TV alone because I feel happy and adequate. Good enough for this joy.

I really do assume I’m gonna fuck everything up. I have no faith in myself.

I don’t want a donut, I want a flat stomach. Think of how nice that would be, how much more comfortable I’d be. Wild.

You don’t want to watch movies as much as you wanna make them. 

You don’t want to read comics as much as you want to make them. 

You just focus on surrogates for the things you really want. The things that you don’t think you’re capable of.

The difference between me dreading something and me being fine with it is belief. I don’t believe I can handle things.

SELF I think I see my likable side as an act, a façade. So I’m always exhausted from pretending to be that person. When I’m working and I get interrupted, I’m thinking “I’m already pushing myself beyond my limits to do whatever it is I’m currently doing, you want me to potentially mess that up AND you want me to also listen and talk and be sociable?”

And when I’m alone I see that as a chance to take my mask off. To be my true self. To be the fat, movie and food-obsessed loser I really am.

The only person I ever truly believed saw the real me and loved me anyway was Atom. Interesting.

The difference between how I live my life and how I WANT to live my life is confidence. Believing in myself.

HALLOWEEN NIGHT I want so much but I have no faith in my ability to attain it. I’m not embarrassed that I haven’t gotten around to the stuff I want, I’m embarrassed that I haven’t been worthy/capable yet.

The times in my life when I feel the magic is when I’m doing what I want to do.

I think I want a “movie mentor” and I haven’t found one that’s able or worthy and that annoys me. But I suppose I can just find my way?

FEELINGS AND SHIT I shouldn’t be ashamed of wanting to talk about feelings and feel shit. We should WANT to feel shit. Why else are we here?

When people interact with me online I think they’re just being nice. Throwing me a bone.

That feeling that I feel all the time is longing. Wanting something but feeling unable to have it. And that’s so upsetting that it makes me not want to think about what I want, but how can I not think of what I want? That’s that confusing, dark and "candle-lit" feeling you have all the time. The feeling of yellow bulb lights hanging from pillars and rafters. Wanting to be part of the light but you can’t. Do we all just want to be part of the light of the universe and for humans the light is love? And that’s what we aim for?      

[mlmxreader]

Try It Once | Corinthian x m!reader (🍋)

@hopecountyisforlovers asked: are you still taking porn rqs?? would love to see corinthian let his bf top him ❤️ maybe hes even got a little praise kink... you know... maybe if some tongues end up in some Mouths You Wouldnt Expect... okay im done being a weird in your inbox now HDKDKDK

summary: you and the Corinthian have agreed to try everything at least once, but it turns out that there’s one thing that’s far more enjoyable than you both thought. 

tws: dom/sub, swearing, choking, biting, praise kink, licking, anal sex 

word count: 1115

MINORS DNI 

You and Corinthian had agreed to do almost everything at least once when it came to your relationship, as you never wanted to leave out any experience that you could have had together, and while some things had been taken off of the table immediately, there were a few things that remained very much on it; you even set out days when you would try those things, hoping that if you ever had the day off then you would get lucky. 

Today was one of those days, though, and as you let the Corinthian sit on your lap, you leaned up, kissing his mouth first, all open mouthed and tongues, and then moving onto the teeth where his eyes should have been, running your tongue along them and grinning when he growled at you; doing your best not to laugh until he pinned you down beneath him and licked a long and slow stripe from your jaw to your temple, making you shiver and whimper softly. 

“Be a good boy,” he growled in your ear. “And I’ll let you do what we talked about earlier.” 

He was ready and prepared already, his ass lubed up and stretched with his fingers, ready to take you whenever you were ready to try it; he had never let you do this before, but he was willing to give it a go - so long as he could remain in control. As long as he was still the dominant one. As long as he could still choke you and he could still boss you around, he was willing to give it a go. 

“Can we do it now?” You asked, eyes wide and excitement evident in how you licked your lips and tried not to squirm. You were so fucking hard already, you could hardly keep yourself under control until Corinthian nodded and moved to line himself up. Your voice was already breaking as you dared to ask, “are you ready?”

“More than,” he nodded again, licking his lips and studying your body for a moment. You were so fucking handsome, and all his; his little puppy, his mortal puppy. “Are you?”

You could only nod, which earned you a soft slap on the cheek and a growl of using your words. “Yes, Sir I’m ready.” 

Corinthian praised you softly for that, lining himself up before he slowly sank himself down on your cock, waiting for you to start thrusting up into him with a needy whine before he dared to put his hand on your throat, squeezing it softly as he started to snap his hips in the same rhythm as you. “C’mon, puppy, talk to me.” 

“You…” you swallowed thickly, putting one hand behind your head, the other weakly going to his thigh as you whimpered quietly. “You feel so fucking good, Sir.” 

God, praises sounded so fucking holy coming from you, like little prayers that made him laugh as he worked his hips, making you groan and stifle a howl of his name as he took control of you; sure, he liked being praised, but seeing you so completely fucking undone for him was better than anything in the world - and that included killing. Your cock was all his, and now that he had it buried inside his ass, he wasn’t sure why he had not asked you to do this before; he wasn’t sure why you had not started taking turns before, but shit, he couldn’t think too much about it when you fucking moaned his name again. Your moans always did sound like the best thing that had ever been created. 

“Keep talking to me, puppy,” Corinthian told you. “Tell me how you feel.” 

You whimpered, picking up the pace a little, so fucking desperate and needy for him that it was impossible to ignore. “You just feel so fucking good… fuck, you feel really, really fucking good, Sir.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” he grinned like the fucking cat that got the cream, the dog that got the bone, as he dared to apply a little more pressure to your throat. “Who does your cock belong to?”

“You!” You yelped out, struggling for breath as you kept pounding up into him, struggling to keep up the pace and wondering how he had managed it for all the time you had been together. “My cock belongs to you, and only you, Sir.” 

“Good,” Corinthian purred, bringing his other hand to gently stroke your cheek. Your eyes looked so fucking great when you were so needy and when you were coming undone for him, when you were so, so desperate for him. “Keep going, puppy, c’mon, give me everything you got.” 

You whined, the noise so full of need, so full of yearning and pleading and begging that you almost broke your voice doing it; he felt so good, and he choked you so hard that it was almost hard not to just cum immediately. Still, you kept it up, kept pounding into him and trying to match with how he rolled his hips against you and worked your cock with his ass with such ease that you almost felt like making him do all the work and just lying there; still, when he brought himself up a little, and sank back down, you damn near screamed his name, grinning so fucking wildly as you grabbed the headboard until your knuckles let out an audible clicking and cracking noise. 

“Can I cum?” 

“Yeah,” Corinthian purred. “You can cum.” 

In truth, he wasn’t far himself, only just about able to hold it in as he let you cum in his ass, your movements all jerks and erratic thrusts as you whined his name and begged him for more; but as soon as you were finished, right as you were about to start riding through your release, he dared to let himself go at last; he kept moving his hips, though, until you were begging for him to get off of you, saying that you had had enough. 

“Did I do okay?” You asked weakly, and when Corinthian smiled, you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him, open mouthed and heavy until you moved onto the other sets of teeth, making him growl softly before he moved to start biting at your body. 

“You did just fine,” he purred, licking a stripe up from your hip to your sternum. “We can do this again sometime, if you’d like, puppy.” 

“Please?” You whimpered, and when he nodded, you couldn’t help but to smile. 

“You just wait here for a second, though,” Corinthian told you gently. “I’m gonna go run us both a shower - be good while I’m gone, puppy.” 

if you liked this fic, REBLOG IT - you SHOULD reblog it; if you don't wanna reblog, then you'll get blocked; reblogging is the BARE MINIMUM. don't just "like", REBLOG

[donutloverxo]

Soooo there are many fics where reader makes steve jealous and it ends in rogh possesive fcking.. but what if steve tries to make reader jealous and it totally backfires and she becomes extremely insecure?? But please with a fluffy ending because my poor heart can’t handle anything less 🥺🥺

Hey. Thanks for the request and I hope this fits. *gif is not mine* Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs and welcome and much appreciated. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+. Please🙏🙏

"Um... yes?" You asked as you brought down the hand which was holding out a twenty dollar bill - since you thought it was the pizza you've been waiting for, for like the past half an hour, and not a blond, six feet and some inches,tall super soldier.

"Hi... doll," he smiled.

"My name's Y/N," you corrected him as you frowned, so fed up of men undermining you by calling you such 'sweet' nicknames. You knew Captain Rogers wasn't like that, but still you couldn't have him getting any ideas.

"Right," he cleared his throat as he repeated your name. "Sorry," he said with a toothy grin, which almost made your heart melt.

"How did you get my address, Captain?"

"Tony gave it to me. I would've asked you at work... but I wanted to do this the right way."

"Do what?" you quirked a brow.

"Um, I maybe people aren't as formal nowadays," he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, "But I can't really change who I am... not so late in life anyway," he cringed as he realised he was pretty rambling then, taking a deep breath he gathered enough courage, "I wanted to ask you to come with me, as my date, to the valentines party this Sunday."

You hummed at that, considering it because damn if Rogers wasn't convincing. Even when he wasn't as authoritative and dominating as he is when he puts on the suit.

It would be nice to be courted and treated nicely, and to not have to put up with the shit most men try to pull with you, you were sure Rogers would show you the time of your life. Besides, only an idiot would say no to him.

"No." You said with a finality that left no room for debate. "Is that all?"

"Uh... I... yes..." he stammered, not exactly prepared to be turned down so bluntly. "Can I ask why?"

"I don't shit where I eat."

"What?" his eyebrows cutely scrunching up.

You just knew you must've touched a nerve with your crass language. Tony, your boss, had told you about Cap and his 'language' incident.

"I don't date people at work... it can get complicated," you explained as he nodded.

It wasn't a complete lie. You didn't want to be known as the 'easy' girl or have others gossip about you. But that would be a sacrifice you'd willing make for someone like Steve. Who'd dare make fun of the Captains girl anyway?

You had been smitten with him from the moment you saw him, learning about his bravery and sacrifice as a kid you looked upto him and respected him, but when you met him in real life... you were a complete goner. Your stomach did somersaults every time he touched you, or hell even looked your way.

You tried your best to flirt, which was basically you stuttering and trying to make small talk whenever you had a chance to talk to him. Since he was born almost a century ago he would probably be offended if you were the one to make the first move.

You continued your back and forth for weeks before he told you about her. That he'll be visiting her over the weekend. You simply nodded, having a vague idea of who Peggy Carter was but not of what she went to Steve.

After some research you found out that she was an old flame of his, someone he couldn't marry and build a life with because he was frozen for decades. Upon seeing her many qualifications, and just how freaking brilliant she was, you knew one thing.

You may not be as smart as her, but you knew that you could never measure upto a woman that incredible. Someone Steve still visits after all these years. You were already afraid that he was out of your league but now you were sure of it.

"Did I do something wrong?" he wanted to know.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he shoved his hands in his pockets, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout, "It's just that you used to talk to me all the time... and now it seems as if you're ignoring me. Is it because of something I did? Whatever it is I never meant to hurt you," he swore.

You sighed. "It's nothing you did, really. I just realized how incompatible we are. I hope you find the one you're looking for, someone who'll make you happy and give you the world. It just won't be me."

You didn't let him say anything closing your door instantly as you kept your tears at bay.

At the valentines party

"Cap," Tony said, slapping a hand on Steve's shoulder, "I thought you'd have her on your arm tonight. What happened?"

Referring to his assistant. He wanted to play cupid this once, since it was the season of love, he wanted to see his idiot friends happy. He was sure you both would be disgustingly smooching and all cute at the party. But not only had you both shown up separately, you seemed to be actively ignoring Steve.

"She uh... rejected me," he said, looking down into his glass of whiskey. It didn't do much for him but it helped him blend in.

"Ouch," Tony winced, "I was sure she would go for you. But I guess I have been wrong before," he shrugged.

"Really?"

"Yeah. She goes all heart eyes whenever you're around. But I guess that's nothing unique since that's just how most women act around you," he scoffed. "You should read all the love letters you got today. I was going through them, you have quite a passionate fanbase of people who want to... what was it..." he pretended to think hard about it. "Yes, 'ride your bicep', I don't understand the physics of how on earth that would work, but I am intrigued."

"Tony," Steve rolled his eyes as he always does when he's around the billionaire. "I don't really care about all of them... they don't know me. I only care about her and I don't know why she said no, but there's nothing I can do about it."

"Whoa, you're accepting defeat so soon? Where's that I-can-do-this-all-day attitude?"

"This isn't a war, Tony. If she doesn't see me that way... then there isn't much I could do."

"Maybe she's just playing hard to get. There's absolutely no way to really know what goes on in womens heads, Rogers. They're so smart and sneaky... it's kinda scary actually."

"I don't think she'd play games..."

Tony had gotten distracted pretty quickly and left Steve alone to pout and only appreciate your beauty from afar. You had worn a pink dress with red hearts on it, and for some reason, you got more beautiful every time he looked at you.

"Hello."

He jerked when he heard the foreign voice, looking at the blonde woman next to him, with her hand out, he shook it just to be polite.

"I'm Crystal," she smiled, flashing her sparkly white teeth.

"I'm Steve."

"Of course I know who you are!" she laughed, "You're Captain America, everyone knows you," she playfully hot his bicep before squeezing it, "Oh my... you must work out a lot."

"Uh... yeah..." he nodded. He could never get used to how people perceived him so differently.

"There is something I need to know really bad," Crystal blinked as she looked up at him, "Do you wear underwear in those suits? They seem really tight, wouldn't it be uncomfortable?"

"Oh, um... we just sort of..."

You had never looked at yourself as a jealous person. Maybe things were different when it came to Steve... he was a pretty special guy.

When you looked at him, talking to some girl, dancing with her, laughing and having fun with her, it was as if you were on fire from simmering rage, at the same time you could feel your heart breaking in a million pieces.

You knew it was wrong. You had no claim to him, he can do whatever he wants. If you said no to him then it makes perfect sense that he seeked out someone else.

You just had to get away for some fresh air, so you wouldn't abandon all class and pull the girls hair and drag her away from your Steve.

You yelped when you heard him call out your name.

Looking over your shoulder you saw him staring at you, his brows scrunched up, he looked so worried. But why?

"What're you doing here? You'll catch a cold, doll," he takes off his blazer, putting it over your shoulders and then groaning when he realised his slip up.

"Right, sorry, old habits die hard. I won't call you that again, I promise," he said, crossing his finger over his heart.

"No... I think it's kinda sweet. No ones ever had such an endearing petname for me. I do like it."

"Oh," he frowned, "it's just that you said you didn't."

Tony, of all the people in the whole universe, was right. There was no understanding women.

"I guess I lied..."

"Why?"

"Um..." You were at a loss of words and nervous. Steve wouldn't tolerate lies, and you didn't want him to hate you. "It was easier to do that then tell you the truth."

"What's the truth?"

"I do like you... a lot. But I don't want to live in someone else's shadow. And I just think the whole thing would end in a disaster..."

"What're you talking about, Y/N?"

"Peggy. Your first and only love. I can't measure upto her, not in my wildest dreams, there's no use trying."

"Why would you have to measure upto Peggy?"

You opened your mouth to answer, but couldn't really come up with an answer. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I did have feelings for her, but that was a long time ago. I'm happy she lived her life, it just wasn't meant to be."

"So, you're not still in love with her?"

"No," he shook his head, "I wouldn't have asked you out if I was."

"Well, what about Crystal? You were practically glued to her the entire evening!" you huffed as you stomped your foot. Mad at your own stupidity. You could've simply told him the truth and asked for a straight answer. "I have to warn you, she had was pretty crazy in the last season."

"Last season?"

"Mm-hm, the last season of her reality show, I've seen all eight seasons. Maybe they just amp up the drama, maybe she isn't actually crazy, I wouldn't know," you shrugged.

"Doll," he smirked, circling a hand around your waist and pulling you into him, "are you jealous?"

"I am not!" you gasped, looking away from his eyes as you felt your cheeks heat up.

"I don't want anyone but you. Why would I? You're goddamn perfect. And... I want you to be my girl."

"I guess I don't really have a reason to say no now..." you murmured, your face still flustered as you played with the buttons on his shirt before he tilted your chin up to make you look at him, placing his lips over yours in the most tender of kisses.

"Got the job done, Tones... I'm pretty sure I saw him go after her, I have to say though, you look at Captain America, and you really don't expect him to be that awkward..." Crystal said as she sipped on her gin and tonic. "You owe me."

Tony only hummed, not too happy about being indebted to someone, but you both needed a necessary push in the right direction.

[sukirichi]

wine: ingredient 44 + sugar 7 + spice 12 for gojo satoru *slams table* thank you for feeding us kind maam

for sukirichi’s milestone event: 

the meal order : 🍷 + 44 (hate sex au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) + 12 (praising kink) your dinner has been served! also bruh LOL you’re a choso simp this is hilarious spspsps

— who are you to deny him when he only wants to worship you?

gojo satoru x fem! reader

contents/warnings: nsfw, slight angst, reader is hot girl shit, gojo long schlong, hate sex, car sex, spanking, riding gojo, slight angst, praising kink taken to a DIFFERENT LEVEL (i want to make people question the extent of their praising kink), body marking, rough sex lol it’s always rough in my stories, unedited

Your friends pushed you out of the club, all of you laughing, hands clutched around your waists as loud, drunken giggles fill in the night air. It was a wild night; your friends invited you to the club to take your mind off your stupid boyfriend. You thought you’d end up moping around, too much of a buzzkill to ever let loose because it wasn’t that easy to stop thinking about him, but even you were surprised when you started grinding with people on the dance floor just three drinks later.

The gals were more than delighted to see you enjoying your night, only dragging you out the club when you nearly shoved your tongue down another man’s throat.

Scratch that – your friends called you to hang out because you lied about having a shitty day at work. You’ve had your fair share of shitty days, but you were one of the most prominent lawyers in your firm, no one dared gave you a bad day. Your subordinates knew that if they even looked your way without your permission, you wouldn’t hesitate to dump paperwork on them, or assign them to the nastiest cases just to piss them off.

Yeah, you were sort of a bitch, but you didn’t care.

It took a lot to get where you were now. It wasn’t easy to be a woman in a male-dominated workplace and you were forced to strip your softness off, replacing it with hard armor and sharp tongue concealed under bold red lips, a tight pencil skirt that accentuated your curves, and a pair of black suede pumps.

You deserved all your success. You were smart, stunning, confident, powerful – so then why did you feel like shit around your shitty boyfriend?

The answer was loud and clear. It bothered you to no end that he wanted to keep your relationship a secret because his family was too different from yours, coming up with a shitty excuse that you were just “too different.” He never bothered explaining, and every time you confronted him about, he’d only wave his hand, distract you with those delicious and soft lips of his until you forget it over and over again.

You were okay with it at first. It wasn’t a really serious relationship; you only started dating him because you saw yourself a lot in him – confident, self-assured, maybe even a little cocky – plus, he was extremely attractive.

But the longer you spent time with him, you were beginning to fall in love.

Yes, you, the ice princess of one of the most respected law firms all over the city was beginning to soften up at a certain blue-eyed man who had magical hands.

But tonight – tonight you’d forget about him.

Your stomach was heavy with expensive liquor and you were nearly staggering on your knees, the only thing preventing you from falling were your more sober friends. The others were holding you close to keep you upright, while one of your friends moved to a quieter part of the block to call an Uber for you. Your friends were all happily married, some with children, so they couldn’t really stay out too late at night and chaperone you all the way back home.

You were well-aware you were being a bother, but fuck, couldn’t you lean on someone for just once? Sighing, you leaned closer to your warm friend, mumbling something about wanting to forget about everything you’ve been through.

“There, there,” she patted your head comfortingly, “You’ll be fine, babe, you’re a strong woman. I know you’ll get through this.”

“But I hate it,” you drunkenly admitted, lips trembling the more you thought about him, every stupid little thing about him – his soft white hair, those pretty blue eyes he always hid under shades even at night, his large, calloused hands that always felt so rough when keeping your legs open for him and you couldn’t even start talking about his cock, he was just so blessed and perfect in every little thing that you hated it. You hated him. “I don’t like this feeling,” you sniffled, “I feel like I’m being looked down on, that I’m being pushed to the side. I feel unimportant, like I’m not good enough.”

“Who said you aren’t?”

You froze in your friend’s arms, eyes meeting with those blue ones you could never get enough of. As if noticing your silence, your friend immediately covers you with her arm, glaring at your boyfriend. “Do we know you or something?”

“No,” Satoru replies coolly, brows furrowed in the state you were in. You turned away from him with a scoff, arms crossed on your chest. Why did he have to be here out of all places? Wasn’t he busy with work or whatever family shit he apparently couldn’t tell you about even though you’ve both been dating for a year and a half now? He just wasn’t giving you a break, and the hairs on your arm stood up when he said, “Not that you have to, but may I please drive Y/N home?”

“She’s not going anywhere—”

“She’s a friend of mine,” he insisted, turning to you with a pleading look in his eyes. You almost melted. Almost. “I need to talk to her about something.”

You rolled your eyes and stepped forward, your friend’s arm latching onto yours. You could tell she was worried from the way her gaze darted back and forth between you two. Satoru was, after all, clearly uninvited, and he didn’t seem like your type either. You always insisted you preferred refined man, men like his friend Nanami Kento, but alas, you were stuck dating this one instead.

“It’s fine,” you told her with a fake smile, “I’ll call you later when I get home.”

You never got to call her – simply because you didn’t make it home. The moment Satoru closed the car doors behind you, you both got into a heated argument. Satoru hated silences and always made sure the car was filled with music, but this time, he didn’t notice there weren’t any songs when you opened your mouth.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the anger and pent-up tension of not being able to hold him and kiss him in public like normal couples did, in addition to the fact Satoru never explained why he insisted on keeping you a secret – whatever it was, you just snapped.

“I don’t even understand why I’m still dating you!” you huffed, legs crossed on top of the other as you gazed out the window. Lips trembling, you tried so hard to not cry, especially not in front of the man who was breaking your heart. “This is hardly a relationship when I’m not free to call or text you as you please, when I can’t go out with you on dates and we’re always hanging in my apartment. I’m your girlfriend, Satoru, we’ve been together for a long time but I honestly don’t even feel like it. What the hell are we dating for then?”

Satoru clenched his teeth, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. “How many times do I have to tell you that I love you,” he said coolly, acting unbothered and unaffected as ever, but the clench in his jaw said otherwise. “If that’s not enough—”

“Of course it’s not enough!”

“I’m trying here too, okay?” Satoru slammed on the brakes and parked on a desolated spot, hands running through his hair while he breathed heavily. Once he’d calmed down, he shook his head, refusing to look you in the eye like a man. “I’m trying my best. It’s just hard. It isn’t as easy as it looks.”

“What isn’t easy as it looks? Dating me? Letting the whole world know I’m yours?” when Satoru didn’t respond, you scoffed, patience running low and thin. “You’re pathetic, Satoru. Dating you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and I thought I was a smart woman.”

With a shake of your head, you slung your purse over your shoulder and reached for the car door. You were about to leave when Satoru suddenly pulled you towards him, his lips slamming into yours.  Like always, you fell into his trap, into the blissful pleasure that was his lips and his hands, and you hated it, hated him, hated him so fucking much because you were so tired of his entire existence.

You wanted to let him know he was insufferable.

You wanted him to feel the pain and misery he put you through.

“I fucking hate you,” you snarled as Satoru kept fucking into you, the entire car windows fogged and the vehicle shaking. “I wish I never met you, you asshole,” Satoru, displeased, only buries himself deeper into you, as if they would erase his mistakes and shortcomings.

Satoru’s large hands snake to your waist and onto your breasts, expertly tweaking them between his fingers. Your head fell back to the crook of his shoulder, your back pressed against his hard chest as Satoru trapped you in his strong arms, impaling you on his cock over and over again. “You’re lying,” he whispered into your neck, tongue and teeth playfully sucking at the tender flesh. His grip on your hip was bruising and possessive, and your breasts bounced fervently at how he snapped his hips upwards to feel your walls coat him and hug him tightly and warmly. “Why would you hate me, sweet girl? Don’t I always make you feel good? Don’t I remind you enough that you’re the best fucking thing ever?”

You didn’t respond right away, your breath taken away with how you could never get enough of this, of him. He was right no matter how much you denied it. Despite being terrible in everything else, Satoru knew and respected you, even admired your dominance and intelligence when other men were intimidated by it.

No, he worshipped you. He made you feel like you were a divine goddess when he tugged at your hair to tilt your cheek to him, his tongue slithering to your lips to taste himself on his tongue from when you previously busted his nut with just your mouth.

Lipsticks smeared on his cheeks and crescent moons on his pale thigh from your nails, Satoru looked wonderful beneath you like this.

He was beautiful, so damn beautiful, but it didn’t change the fact he’d put you through hell these past few weeks. 

No, it wasn’t just the past few weeks. Things were always complicated with him. He was perfect in everything else but when it came to you, he made it a mission to hide you and your relationship, changing your contact name to a totally random one “just in case.”

Your mind was confuzzled and you felt like you were on the urge of breaking apart from both his ministrations and his confusing treatment over you. Before you knew it, you were kissing him back fervently with the intensity of your hatred over this man.

Your hand reached his to guide it to rub at your clit, and Satoru, eager to make you feel good as always, happily obliged. Satoru kept bouncing you on his cock until you were too overwhelmed to speak, crying and mumbling incomprehensible words. 

Him, only him, would ever have the ability to let the sharp-tongued and intelligent woman who never bat an eye in court lose her wide vocabulary, falling apart in his arms while his long length abused your puffy lips.

“You made me feel like shit,” you finally admitted, tugging at his hair until Satoru is lowly groaning at the slight sting. But did you care? Of course you didn’t. You wanted to hurt him too.

“How so, sweet girl?”

“I can never have you the way I want,” you answered through gritted teeth, moaning out when Satoru suddenly thrusted too deep, hitting your most sensitive spot that had you quivering in his hold. “You don’t—” you gasped, “You don’t understand what I feel, how you make me feel like I’m never good enough for you. That’s the reason why you don’t want anyone else knowing, right? ‘Cause I’m not good enough for you, never gonna be good—”

Satoru didn’t let you finish your words, shutting you up with his cock instead. The vehicle shook uncontrollably with your mating sessions, and Satoru silences you by pulling at your leg to press it on his chest instead.

The sudden switch in positions had your muscles tensing and stretching, adding only to both your pleasures with the new thrown in factor of slight pain. You felt Satoru kiss your neck down to your shoulders, scraping his canines until you were absolutely lost. You gave in, you gave up, head lolling back next to his loving lips that murmured sweet nothings.

“Not true, sweet girl,” he reminded you, flattening you on his cock and making you roll your hips while you slid up and down his pole sensually. Unlike the previous pace, the slow sensation of your pussy hugging his cock with your arousal letting him slide in easily allowed you to feel every part of him, almost mind-wrecking at how good he’s able to make you feel even after such a long time of having him already.

“You’re the sexiest and most intelligent woman I’ve ever met, the best, the absolute blessing of my life, and I just want to protect you, sweet girl. You’re too precious for me to lose,” Satoru kept mumbling over and over again.

You could no longer process his words functionally, not when he’s slamming you down his length like that and burying himself in you as if he didn’t want to be anywhere else.

Satoru’s hands were still curious, appreciative and gentle as he runs his hands, dipping into all your curves and pressing into your most sensitive spots the way you liked it.

“You’re always so good for me so no, sweet girl, never gonna let you go, not when you’re so perfect for me,” Satoru eased your worries – temporarily – with his words, and you’d believe his lie, you’d fall into the same mistakes over and over again because you were just that weak and powerless when it came to him. “You’re made just for me, sweet girl, you’re the prettiest and your pussy is the prettiest – I worship you, I adore you. You’re so divine.”

You blamed it all on your ego.

He praised you so well, made you feel so good and always placed you on top of the world when he’s inside you like this. Even if you knew he’d knock you down the pedestal just hours later, you opened your doors for him all over again.

Satoru knew this too, because he rammed inside your walls and ruined everything that you held firm beliefs in, his large hands smacking your ass to urge you to bounce on him like you weren’t made for any other purpose than to be the woman he adored.

You lied to yourself – you always did – but did you care? So what if you couldn’t be the one he really loved? What did it all matter when you were the one he worshipped?

For the sake of the praise and the compliments, you’d let him fuck you and play with your heart over and over again. It was a toxic routine you’d never get tired of, and you no longer complained, forgetting about everything he’d done and every heartbreak he caused you because he was there, whispering into your ears how good you made him feel and how you were the only one made to take him, and you didn’t care. Not anymore – not when you were worshipped.

[thefools-journey]

So. Some of you may be wondering why we haven’t written a whole ton about the secondaries or what have you. Here’s the reason: we were waiting for them to end before we really dug into the problems we were noticing. We felt that it was only fair to wait for the routes to finish so that we had an understanding of the writers’ vision. Who knew, we thought, maybe they would see the problems themselves and course correct, maybe they are building to something we can’t quite see yet and these issues will have actual payoff, maybe-

In light of Muriel and Lucio’s endings, and the general mess that has dominated Portia’s route for a year plus now, we are breaking our silence. We are actually going to talk about this shit show.

The fandom at large has talked about a bunch of issues with the secondaries but for me, the cardinal sin, the thing that really all the issues lead back to, is this: the writers lost sight of the tarot themes which so strongly defined and held together the primary routes. Let me explain.

The primary routes each center around three thematic cores:

The Love Interest’s Major Arcana and its Reversed/Upright meanings

The MC’s Fool’s Journey, both how it can go right and how it can go wrong

A question about the MC’s identity and their relationship to said identity

Asra’s route asks: Who was the MC? How does the MC navigate a past they cannot and will not remember? What do they owe a past they cannot remember? How do they handle the revelations of what Asra, Nadia, Julian, etc did? How do you right the past? Can you?

Nadia’s route asks: Who is the MC? The MC has no past. Are they the Fool only? Are they actually the same person they were? How can they tell? Who are they, really? Are they an imposter? No one can answer these questions for them.

Julian’s route asks: Who will the MC become? How does the MC see their future? Is there anything worth fighting for for that future? What will become of them and their loved ones? 

Now, if you notice, these themes are expertly woven throughout the primaries. Asra’s past dominates his route, Nadia is also missing memories and trying to construct her identity both with her family and with Vesuvia, and Julian’s fear of the future drives his flailing for control. Asra has to learn to take a broader view of his actions to get his Upright Ending, Nadia has to learn to trust herself and those around her for hers, and Julian has to learn how to let go for his. These lessons are the issues their cards stand for. The primaries are so dang elegant and delicate in their handlings of theme it is honestly awe-inspiring.

Thematically, the secondary routes have completely lost their hearts. First of all, the MC does not have strong, core questions which need to be answered. They just don’t. I suppose the writers did not want to retread old territory (which is weird considering how tightly bound the primaries are; it really tricks you into thinking you’re living the same events but from different angles depending on your route) but they did not replace the old with anything new. Muriel’s route is, on the surface, about discovering and owning his past, the good and the bad. Why not tie MC’s self-discovery to that story? Or they could have taken the angle that Muriel’s route is about convincing him to be present and active in the world while MC builds an identity for themself outside of Asra, the shop, and the memories they cannot retrieve. Why not tie the investigation themes running through Portia’s early route back to MC and their past? Portia has the unique angle of being as in the dark as MC about all of this, why not discover the past together? And for goodness’ sake, Lucio has no future when his route begins, why not tie that to his need for growth, responsibility, and MC’s own future between the Fool, the Devil, or something mortal and in between?

Secondly, the routes lost their tarot backbone. We have a primer on how to get specific endings for each LI and it still holds, but the writers did not follow through on the thematic coherence of each secondary. The Hermit is looking for something, be it perspective, insight, a solution to a problem, whatever. The key here is that the Hermit must find or learn what they are searching for, this thing must change their understanding of the world, and finally, they must bring this lesson back to the world from which they retreated. Can someone please enlighten me as what exactly Muriel learns then teaches the world around him? Nothing Muriel learns from Morga, MC, or even the Hermit ties back into anything. The Devil warns that you are out of control and exerting a lot of manipulative, destructive behavior on the world around you. It asks you to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. So can someone tell me why Lucio’s route actively avoids any interaction or reflection on two of Lucio’s biggest victims: Muriel and Julian? Why does the route only try to make amends with the “easier” of his victims in the cast? The Star is first and foremost the card of clarity, the light at the end of the tunnel. Perseverance, if you will. Yet Portia’s route has been the muddiest of the trio; the writers drop the investigation aspect of her route in favor just handing her and MC information they could have easily found and muddying the waters with Tasya (she blows up the palace but it’s all okay bc she has a secret daughter Julian never thought to bring up or mention) and the complete removal of the Devil as antagonist. 

So that leaves just the Fool’s Journey trying to hold this stool up with only one leg. And well...it doesn’t go well. At best, the secondary route books pay the barest surface level homage to the themes of the individual cards. At worst, they ignore the cards completely. Muriel's Moon book has nothing to do with illusions or delusions or lies or even an Alice in the Looking Glass upside down world. Portia's back half is a complete and utter mess, starting with her Temperance book being so badly mangled that Muriel's aftermath book does it better. Lucio's route too bungles the Tower and the Star. There just isn't enough here to carry the routes alone.

Add to the core loss the loss of intertextuality. The primary routes are very good, even great but they too do have their moments and mistakes. What helps strengthen them when the cores stumble is how the trio is woven together. Things you learn in Asra's route can inform the way you play Nadia's, for example. Julian's route informs what is going on in Asra's route and slots some missing puzzle pieces together. Nadia's route tells you of the power struggles she is facing and informs the other two routes' handling of Julian and his trial. On and on, the three routes support each other because they are built out of the same basic plot beats, just tackled in very different ways. Now, the writers are allowed to try and write whatever they want. They apparently wanted to be more experimental and less tied down to an overarching plot with the three secondaries. Okay, fine, they are allowed to do that. The problem is that they sacrificed one of the key strengths of the primary trio and didn't replace said strength with anything else. They also, on some level, harmed the very premise of the game, which is that only the player's choices and route selected change the overall plot. Instead of feeling like legitimate possibilities or offshoots of the same timeline/plot, the secondaries feel almost like Arcana AUs. The secondaries throw out all relations to the primaries and each other as quickly as possible and for what? 

It is probably the height of arrogance to suggest fixes for works whose behind the scenes I do not know. At the same time, some small, obvious changes could have salvaged Muriel and maybe Lucio's endings (rip Portia). Instead of having the Hermit appear as a disappointing cameo, why not have him say something cryptic to Muriel, then have MC start trying to seal the Devil. Then let Muriel use his forget me mark to cloak MC and hide them from the Devil's attacks. Protecting MC by hiding them from Lucio, keeping him focused on Muriel, seems to me a simple third solution between Muriel's desire to run and his desire to never fight again. It lets him stand up to Lucio and let him have it while holding onto who Muriel has become. The Reversed End would have MC try to draw Lucio's attention at some point, disrupting the sealing, and eventually leading to Muriel killing the Devil. With Lucio's Upright End, I just have to ask: why doesn't MC fully claim the power of the Fool instead of the Devil? We don't need the other Arcana involved in this fight; we have three routes that demonstrate that. Just have MC pull Scout into the conflict, then have Lucio tell MC he believes in them, then add his power to the mix. You got yourself a full Fool who leaves Scout guarding the realm until they and Lucio's mortal bodies fail and they return to the realm to be together forever. Boom, you're done, you can even add some ambiguous lines so that players can decide how happy their MC is with this arrangement, send me the check.

Here is the bottom line. Our group is full of aroace, and several combinations therein, individuals. We are the last group who should have gotten into a dating sim of all things. But the Arcana did something with the primaries that was special; they wrote a compelling plot with dazzling lore, complex characters, and strong themes wrapped up in a dating sim bow. The writers know better and we know they know better. I do not know what happened with the secondaries, especially around books 10-11, which is where minor issues slowly start spiraling into major ones, but it is clear that Nix Hydra needed some more planning before they released these routes. Hopefully they will learn.

TL;DR: Nix Hydra fired their tarot consultants about eighteen months ago and it has wrecked their secondary routes until they were just embarrassments. They never intended for the secondary routes to even exist and once they had to make them, they scrambled and threw out everything that made the primaries work.

- Mod Telos

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Final Hours pt. 2: The Illusion

synopsis: Living life at the House of the Children of the Star is supposed to be safe and comforting. So why can’t you shake this feeling that you’re not even close to being safe? 

word count: 1808

tw: rough sex, breeding, curse words, nsfw

a/n: I absolutely lied. I’m not done writing for Geto. I’ve got about ten years of silence and material I can work off of. Well, that implies... that I don’t hop on the Naoya train. 

You turn your head at the sound of water splashing in the bathtub, listening to a babbling Renji and Suguru playing around in the bubble-water. It was undoubtedly adorable seeing the soft side Renji pulled out of the curse user these days, especially now that he was wanted and - in an effort to protect what he had built - ruthless. 

But even his lack of tenderness with those outside of his small circle (you, Renji, Mimiko, and Nanako) had a purpose. This purpose would be re-explained to you every so often, whispered to Renji when he was asleep, and seared into the brains of those who followed him. You saw the countless evenings he spent thinking, in meetings, consuming curses… You originally thought it would wear him down faster than Jujutsu Tech had, but he only seemed to grow more powerful with every passing day. 

“All done,” Suguru announces, producing a towel-wrapped Renji with a wide smile. “Now we can get you settled in for bed.” Fatherhood is good for him, you think before smiling back and holding your arms out for the giggling child. Mimiko and Nanako could be heard playing around in the hallways, no doubt testing each other’s patience with a game of tag. But you don’t mind. Nothing really bothers you anymore. At least, that’s the way you wished it were. 

When you place Renji down in the crib littered with beautiful blankets and stuffed animals, the nagging feeling returns. This is all an illusion, something whispers to you, but you push the feeling away. You've gotten better at doing that lately: ignoring the sinking feeling in your gut at dinner or the tiny twinge of fear you felt at night when everyone was asleep. After you tuck Renji in, you turn to Suguru, who waited patiently for you to join him in your shared bedroom. 

When he swipes a hand over your shoulder and presses his thumbs into your upper back, you relax into his touch, allowing him to strip you of the tension in your body. “It’s perfect…” he whispers behind you, and you desperately want to agree; you really do. But you keep your mouth shut, knowing that any argument would be lost the moment he set his lips to your skin or smoothed his hands over your hips. “I love it here.” 

“I know,” you answer softly, and his hands still on your back. 

“Do you… like it?” The hurt in his voice is evident. 

“I love it,” you lie easily, trying to convince yourself that you do love it here; the children are safe, you’re safe, and no one would dare cross Suguru to get to either you or the children. 

Except Satoru and Shoko. The remembrance of the two sorcerers puts you on edge again, and a shudder passes through you. You don’t even step foot out of the House for fear of them finding you and taking a sledgehammer to what Suguru carefully crafted as a safe haven. 

“And I love you,” Suguru whispers, bringing you back to the present. “Mother of my children, tune to my song, blood in my veins…” 

“You’re only waxing poetic because you want something from me.” The observation earns a low chuckle from him, and he smooths his fingers over your hips, making them jerk forward a little. “Just say it.” 

“I want another child with you,” he murmurs, fingers splayed across your belly. “I want to have a family full of sorcerer--” 

“Will this family get rid of all the non-sorcerers in the world?” The thought that any child of yours would have the capacity - of be forced - to murder makes you sick to your stomach. “Is that why you want so many children?” You’re not sure what caused you to snap, but it’s obviously caught Suguru off guard. 

“Watch your mouth.” The command is emphasized by one of his hands grabbing your chin from behind. “Do you think I won’t have completed my goal before we grow our family? I have enough power to do this without their help. Our children won’t have to lift a single finger,” he hisses into your ear, taking care to lower his voice so as to not disturb Renji. 

“You really see me as some sort of breeding cow, don’t you?” Suguru lets go of your chin and shuts the door to your room, and you prepare for an argument. But instead of turning to you and pointing a finger before beginning to raise his voice, he grabs your chin again, and walks you back against the wall. You stare him down, not one to back down from a fight. But he doesn’t say a word when he presses his lips against yours, roughly pushing a hand under your shirt and grabbing a breast. 

“You think I see you as a cow, hmm?” You exhale shakily, daring to jut your chin out a little in defiance. You knew this game: he would soften you up with a show of dominance, tease out your submissive side, and you’d crumble into his arms and give him just what he wanted. But tonight, you won’t go down without a fight. 

Yes, of course you want to give in. You want him to touch you and drive you senseless, but not at the cost of bodily autonomy. 

“Yeah,” you answer confidently, feeling his fingers slip down your stomach. 

“You’d be sorely mistaken, then.” His lips press against your cheek and heat pools between your legs. Fuck. You curse yourself mentally, angry your body was reacting exactly how you knew it would. “I worship you, kitten. Shit, your body is a mere fraction of what I see when I look at you.” The admission makes you look into his eyes, but you see no trickery there. His grip on your chin slackens, and that same hand falls to your waist as he trails his lips down your neck, pausing to suck on the tender flesh. “You’re more than just a mother, y/n… You know that,” he murmurs against your shoulder, and you shiver under his touch.

Suguru hoists you up easily and takes you to the bed, pinning you underneath him as he presses his lips against yours once more. “Do I have permission to make love to you?” The request is whispered against one of your wrists, and you shiver again as his lips press against that spot, too. Your throat dries up and you swallow hard, trying to form the words you want to say, and when his black eyes flick down to yours, his gaze is hard and unwavering like a stone. “Or should I fuck you like the cow you assume I see you as?” 

“Fuck me,” you blurt, and Suguru’s hands instantly duck beneath the hem of your long skirt, pushing it up around your waist. Without warning, he tears at your underwear - another pair gone - and pushes your knees back forcefully. 

It isn’t long before you see his pants drop over the side of the bed and feel his fingers probe angrily at your entrance. “You want me to fuck you?” he asks breathily, extending one of your legs back sharply. The question is rhetorical; he’s obviously going to fuck you regardless. You nod anyways, and he presses into you. The pain is sharp and undeniable, but as you open your mouth to cry out, Suguru pushes a hand against it. “Shut the fuck up.” You feel the urge to struggle as he moves inside of you as you’re not wet enough. But he stops mid-stroke and lubricates himself with a trail of spit before working himself back into you. “That’s a good girl… lay there and take it.” 

You whimper around his hand, but he doesn’t relent while he pushes into you with force. Suguru seems to be enjoying the view, but you aren’t allowed to lay on your back for much longer. When his cock slips free and his hand comes off of your mouth, there’s a moment where the air rushes into you, but that’s quickly overshadowed by Suguru moving you sideways across the bed, your head dangling off the edge precariously. 

“Open,” he commands, and you obediently open your mouth for him to insert his rock hard cock. You can’t take much upside-down, but Suguru definitely tries to shove his entire length down your throat. When you reach your limit, you slap a hand against his thigh, trying to push him off, but he grunts and removes your fingers easily. “I haven’t even gotten started yet.” He places his large hands on your tits as an anchor before moving back and forth and fucking your face. 

You don’t know how to cope. While he invades your mouth, the sorcerer above you takes your ankle and stretches your other leg back, placing your big toe in his mouth. His tongue wraps around the digit with ease before he moves to the other toes, sucking on them without a care in the world. You want to yell, scream at him that it’s all too much, but you can’t. Not with his cock stuffed in your mouth. And when his other hand comes off of your breast to play with your cunt, you’re done for. 

You practically lose yourself as all of the sensations come to a head, damn near evaporating into the air. When it’s over, though, his mouth lifts off of your foot, his cock slides out of your mouth, and his fingers leave you. You pant eagerly, wanting more, but he moves to the other side of the bed, pressing a knee against the mattress and pulling you to the other side. 

When he enters you again, you claw at his back, still sensitive from your orgasm. “Su, my god!” 

“Hush,” he claps a hand over your mouth again, raising a brow at your exclamation while he ruts into you. “I won’t have you waking Renji. If you wake him…” He doesn’t need to finish the sentence. You know whatever it is won’t be good. 

Suguru continues to pump into you at an increasing speed, his face scrunching up like he’s about to cum. “Su, please…” you whine against his palm and that’s all it takes for him. 

“Fuck!” The exclamation is followed by a warm feeling in your pussy that flows out as he continues to move inside of you, not stopping for a second to catch his breath. Somehow, he still has the stamina to continue moving as he pushes cum out of you. Then he picks up his speed again, moaning louder than before and removing his hand from your mouth. You whimper, and he looks down at you instantly. “We’re not even close to finished, y/n. You want me to fuck you like a cow? That’s exactly what I’m about to fucking do.”

[thran-duils]

Use All of Me (P.15 -- final)

Title: Use All Of Me (Part Fifteen, Final) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Steve Rogers. The Avengers are heroes saving the world but in this AU, they are also permitted by the powers in charge to have less than favorable business underneath their guise of mere superheroes. Steve and Tony are at the helm, keeping their empire’s wealth in check, both devious and perilous if crossed. Steve takes a liking to the reader at a party and it may be her undoing to her autonomy choosing to go home with him. Words: 2,591 Warnings: Dark AF, angst, emotional/mental abuse, smut, breeding, death Author’s Note: I had a lot of extra things I wanted to add in (not mentioning the two other ways I considered taking the fic) but they were fleeting and not conducive to the plot. Just day to day things and I didn’t want to drag it out more than it needed to be. I am satisfied with this and I hope you guys are too.

Part Fourteen || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Steve shook his head, scrolling through his phone across the table from you. His dinner was barely touched he was so engrossed in what he was reading. He must have felt you staring because he looked up, making eye contact with you.

You swallowed and asked now that you had his attention, “What is making you so upset?”

Reluctantly, Steve told you, “Gossip columns. About us. About you.”

“Well, I don’t know about that because I don’t have my phone… or internet access at that.” Steve’s face was stoic at your remark and you shrugged, unable to mask your scorn “You’re the one who put my face out there. Can’t blame people for being concerned about one of their stars.”

“You forced my hand,” Steve told you in a low voice. “Did you not?”

You took another bite of your food, knowing you were toeing a line.

Steve put his phone down, scooting his chair closer to yours, invading your space. “Did you not?” he repeated with more force.

“I did,” you whispered.

His fingers ghosted along the side of your face. “Like I told you… you don’t think about the repercussions of your actions. You were acting unstable. Nothing like yourself. I had to do it to bring you back. I had to do it to keep you safe.”

He was so insistent in his chivalry about whisking you back home, keeping you barred inside. You blocked out what he was saying about you, like he was blaming you for reacting perfectly normally to being kept in a cage. You wanted to move onto something else.

“Did you pay that person… who turned me in?”

“Yes.”

“Are Yua and Natalie back at their jobs?”

“Yes.”

You proposed honestly, “How can I be sure? That you’re telling me the truth? When I cannot even check on them myself?”

“You don’t trust me?” Steve’s eyes were hard, challenging you.

What a loaded question.

“I don’t see any reason why you would lie to me about it,” you lied yourself in response.

Steve looked tickled by your response, but you also sensed displeasure in his tone. “Y/N… I have enough money and power to ruin them if I wanted to. And I wouldn’t keep it a secret from you because there would be a damn good reason I would have done so. And I would want you to know what lesson you were supposed to learn. So, darling, trust me when I tell you that they are okay. I listened to what you requested. I can be reasonable when you behave.” He leaned back, eyes searching your face. He let out a small sigh seeing the meek expression on your face, “Over time you’ll get your phone back... your friends coming around to visit again.”

He was waiting expectantly for you to answer, to say anything.

“I understand.”

Steve’s hand was warm, grasping yours. “You did good, doll face…” he praised gently. “You came back to me. You brought the babies back. I am desperate to see you mothering our children… swelling with more of them.” He reached over, picking up an envelope on top of the stack of papers near him. He held it up to you and said, “And I intend to make good on my word about making it official.”

Steve handed it to you and you took it from him gingerly. Unfolding the papers inside, you looked down at the paper, seeing it was a marriage application.

Confused, you asked, “You… you don’t even want to have a ceremony?”

“Do you want a ceremony?” Steve asked seriously.

“Yes,” you breathed. If you were going to get married, you wanted to at least celebrate it. Have something to look forward to if you were going to be legally bound to him.

“Hmm.” Steve looked contemplative. “I didn’t think you would be interested in that.” He paused, chewing on the thought. He blew a small raspberry, reaching for his phone. “Well, maybe it is a good thing I did float the idea.” He began to hand the phone to you but paused, cocking his head slightly. “Now… I’m gonna let you look at this because Wanda was able to find some beautiful maternity gowns. Tell me what you think of them. Don’t search anything else. Understand?” You nodded and he handed you his phone and you stared down at it, shocked to see wedding gowns.

Being pregnant was not something you had considered for the ceremony. Or particularly wanted for your wedding day photos.

“Do we have to move so quickly?”

“Yes,” Steve responded curtly.

“Why?”

“Because I want it to all be settled before the babies get here.”

The only reason he would want that… he had to have an angle. There must be something that he wanted.

“Can I—”

“Small ceremony, Y/N,” Steve cut you off, as if he knew exactly what you were going to ask. And you could not fathom how he could just read you like a book. It unnerved you. He was observant and it was detrimental to you. “I already have the list and the venue was set.”

“The v-venue?”

He threw you a smirk, “I was banking on you wanting a ceremony.”

So that is what Tony had been talking about.

<><><>

Your hands ran over the gown. The beaded sheer top above your bustline glittered in the light. You were a little chilly with your bare arms, but you barely noticed above your nerves. Surprisingly, you had been left alone in the room serving as the bridal suite. Not that you could make a run for it anyway in this dress and with your stomach. You snorted at the thought of you running down the street; it did calm you down a little.

Yet, you still wished your friends had been able to attend but it was ‘family’ only as Steve had said. And that family meant the team.

The door opened, drawing your attention.

Wanda was standing there, and she stopped, seeing you done up.

“You look lovely,” she said gently, a sincere smile on her face.

You returned her smile, giving a quick nod. You found yourself more often than not, cradling your stomach, and here you were again. You grimaced when one of the twins gave a particularly hard kick and Wanda noticed.

She was at your side immediately, “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” you breathed, nodding. “Would be terrible to have the babies at 28 weeks… far too early.”

“Not uncommon though.” Wanda still sounded unsure.

You waved her off. “I’m fine. Really. They’re just kicking and moving around.”

Wanda relaxed a little and said, “Alright, if you’re sure. Well, they’re ready. Are you?”

Shakily, you told her, “Yes. Yes, of course.”

The room was bright, draped in shades of sky blues. White petals were scattered along the aisle down to where Steve was standing. You breath caught at the sight of him, causing you to hesitate in your stride. Steve looked handsome, so very handsome. Somehow you made it to the end of the aisle, coming to stand in front of him. You hardly could contain the smile that came to you, unable to block out the happiness you felt coming off of him in waves. He looked so sure, so satisfied as he took your hand in his.

His words were sweet, loving. You tried to breathe easy as he slipped the ring on your finger, noticing the hungry look on his eyes. When you were told to kiss, Steve guided you, his lips dominating yours.

Signing away on the marriage certificate, you noticed his lips twitch watching you. He was elated. He was getting exactly what he wanted… you. Forever.

The night would have gone smoothly if you had not felt another hard kick from the babies. It felt different. It was not a normal kick.

Your fork clattered to your plate over your dinner at the bridal table. Your hand came to your stomach, your face twinged in pain.

Steve’s laugh faltered, his attention drawn from Bucky next to him.

“Y/N?” he asked, his tone suddenly serious. Bucky was leaning forward, sharing Steve’s look of concern.

Trying to play it off, you nodded with difficulty. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Another kick hit and you grimaced, a sharp gasp leaving your mouth. “Okay, maybe I’m not.”

Steve was standing and staring down at you in worry. The rest of the team had noticed and were hanging in suspension as they realized there was something wrong.

“I’ll get the car,” Steve declared. “Tony, Bucky, can you help her outside? I’m getting the car.”

Without waiting for them to answer, Steve was already halfway to the door, his stride quick.

Tony and Bucky were there, hands holding you as they helped you stand. You whimpered, your belly tight, soreness swirling in your hips and lower back. You had had period cramps before but this was something else entirely.

You felt wet and looked down at your legs. Your dress was soaked in a stream and you let out a strangled noise. Your water was broken and panic began to set in.

“Oh, boy, yeah,” Tony said sounding like he was trying to keep himself calm since he noticed it as well as him and Bucky helped you walk towards the door.

“I’m not ready,” you begged, tears welling up in the corner of your eyes. “I’m not ready!”

“I don’t think you’ve got much of a say in the matter,” Tony told you, trying to make a joke. He gave a small laugh, but you could tell he was nervous. You cried out and he quickly held to you as your knees threatened to buckle underneath you. “Oh, shit. Okay. Keep steady, sweetheart.”

“I can’t!” you snapped at him.

Tony closed his mouth.

Bucky grunted as your legs quivered and you leaned into him as you reached the door. They helped you down the stairs as carefully as they could as you heard tires squeal to a stop at the curb. Steve had been speeding from the parking garage.

Steve got halfway out of the car, but Bucky said, “We got it. Don’t worry.”

They helped you get into the front seat of the car and you gripped the sides of the chair, closing your eyes as another contraction rumbled through you. You heard Bucky get into the backseat of the car and slam the door closed.

Steve took off quickly, promising you he would get you to the hospital as quickly as possible. He was doing well hiding his anxiousness, channeling it into assuring you and telling you it was going to be okay.

<><><>

“It was the goddamn stress!” Steve grated furiously. “She should have stayed home! She shouldn’t have run off! Why was she so stupid?”

He was pacing angrily in one of the waiting rooms down the hallway. Y/N had given birth to both of the babies, far prematurely. They had both been whisked away to the NICU without Y/N and Steve both given much time to see them, let alone hold them. They were reassured they would be able to visit once the babies were set up safely. It did not sit well with Steve. Y/N was exhausted and was having trouble staying awake, so he had left the room when he was sure she was alright. She needed rest.

But now that he was out of the height of the situation, anger began swirling at the risk she had been put at along with the babies.

The team had shown up, still dressed in their wedding attire.

No one argued with Steve. He might very well have a valid point about it and saying anything to the contrary was not going to calm him down.

Steve ground his teeth, hands coming to his hips in frustration.

“They said the babies are alright though?” Natasha finally spoke.

Steve looked over at her and shrugged, “I think. I don’t know. They said they needed to be put on oxygen. That doesn’t sound good to me.”

“It’s probably precautionary, Steve,” Pepper offered gently.

Finding an empty chair, Steve sat down in it heavily, resting his elbows on his thighs. His eyes swept around the room, taking everyone in. He could see the unquiet in their expressions, their worry for him. He was supposed to be the one keeping everyone levelheaded; that was his job. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for just a moment. He just needed a moment to compose himself and be strong for everyone else.

When he opened them again, he said, “It better be. It’s gotta be.”

<><><>

Steve was there when your eyes fluttered open. It took a few moments for your eyes to adjust to the light in the room, even though it was dimmed. You focused in on the sheets and your gown. And then you felt the remnants of pain in your lower half, even though it was dull now.

It all hit you at once and you tried to sit up too quickly. You gasped in pain and Steve was halfway out of his chair.

“You’re fine,” he said in a rush, his hands coming to your arms. His eyes were swimming with worry. “Don’t get up, Y/N. You need to rest.”

Breathing erratically, you looked at him in alarm. “T-the babies?”

“They’re in the NICU,” Steve assured you quickly. “One is breathing on her own, the other is on tubes. But they think that he will be able to breath on his own soon.”

You stared at him and demanded, “You’ve seen them?”

“Yes. You did too. Briefly.”

That came back to you too. You had seen them. You had been awake for everything. But the exhaustion had taken over.

“But… you saw them? Without me?” you asked weakly.

“Yeah,” Steve admitted, slowly sitting back down in his chair. “I haven’t held them, but I’ve seen them. Through the window.” His hands rubbed your arms affectionately. “Y/N, doll face, really. You need to lie back. You lost a lot of blood.” That’s when you noticed the IV and everything attached to you. “They treated you and replaced but you’re still going to be weak.”

You did as he asked, lying back on the plethora of pillows behind you. He physically relaxed at you reclined, but he was still leaning towards you, ever watchful.

His tone was sympathetic, “I don’t like you sick. I don’t like worrying about you. I’m supposed to protect you.” His thumb traced across your lips, concern swimming in his eyes now. “I hope though you’ll take something from this… that you’ll think twice about being reckless. I don’t want our future children being put through this, Y/N. I don’t want you being put through this. I want you to be secure, relaxed… safe under my watch.”

Steve’s other hand came to rest on your stomach and you felt a sense of foreboding flooding in. His closed mouth smile conveyed confidence, his hand gently caressing. “Despite all of that stress though… you pulled through. You are special, Y/N. I can’t wait to watch you swell again.” He was sincere, gaze intense, and his fingers holding you close. “You are the most important thing to me. I’ll make sure next time goes more smoothly for you. I’ll be there every step of the way next time.”

He leaned in close now, his lips brushing against your ear, “You’re all in my custody now. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

~~~

Tags: @imsonick , @alexakeyloveloki, @kvzctam, @ironlady1993, @taintedgenre, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @roxyfan14-blog @mrsnegan25 @coconutqueen21

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Would you please give me headcanons about how shigadabi caught feeling for each other? Loosely sticking to canon if you can🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

That "loosely sticking to canon" is a little tricky for me. Why? Because in the canon I see them as two guys that find comfort in knowing that someone understands them and they are free to do as they please because the other won't stop them.

This is gonna be a long one and I apologize for it, but I love them so much. I can't help it.

Still, here are my headcanons 😈:

In the beginning, Dabi is never around and when he is, he's being mean and annoying in the background. Shigaraki doesn't tolerate him, but he respects him. Since they met, Shigaraki knew that boy wouldn't stop to achive what he wanted, just like himself.

There was a moment between them, the seed of something. Before the summer camp attack, Shigaraki called Dabi apart so he could set the nomu to respond to his voice and his voice only. You can imagine Shigaraki walking up to him, telling him to follow and Dabi being a piece of trash about it.

Shigaraki them tells him why he's needed out loud and turns around, already walking. The rest of the League complains or comments in the background but Dabi leaves them without a word. He's too busy thinking Tomura must be really stupid to trust him when he barely knows him. Or well he could— He could be smart enough to see through him?

With the years, Dabi has learned to be careful of those guys. He doesn't trust people, no exceptions. He prefers to think Tomura is an idiot.

Being honest, that was the minute Dabi decided he would try to read Tomura. He was he new boss, Dabi was only only being careful. Nothing more.

Let's keep the imaging.

Tomura sits and he unceremoniously calls the nomu, gives him some commands and tells Dabi to use his voice to give him the same commands. They do it a couple of times until Shigaraki is satisfied and Dabi is free to go.

For someone else watching, it was cold and professional. For them, it was kinda weird. There was a little tension than neither of them was acknowledging and there was a quietness, a silence Tomura was used to. It was weird because it felt like they were alone, because they were used to being alone, but somehow they were being alone together— with the freaking nomu. It felt like visiting the vet. Dabi didn't like it.

Time goes by. Things happen.

They have a silent agreement that marks Dabi as one of Shigaraki's commander. He's a special one tho, because apparently he can do whatever the he he wants. He says he's gonna recruit? Tomura approves it with a simple nod and that's it.

Since we have only seen Twice's apartment, I'm assuming here that the rest of the League lived in the bar with Kurogiri and Tomura. Which makes sense because they wouldn't have anywhere else to go.

The only times Shigaraki and Dabi are together is when Dabi occasionally return to their base for whatever reasons. It is loud and crowded so they don't get the chance to interact that much. What they can do is observe the other.

None of them is ashamed of doing it. They stare and stare back. The League plays it off because that's probably two idiots trying to assert dominance or some shit.

It's stupid and they only find out about useless things. What they like to drink, how they walk or react to certain things, what throws them off, what makes them happy... Things you'd know about your classmate.

Their interactions change after what happened in Kamino and the night Magne died.

Dabi was taken by surprise when he saw Tomura walking in. He was calm, collected, even more honest than usual. When he took the hand off his face, the whole room held their breath.

His features were delicate, even beneath all the scars and dry skin. He's eyes were gentle, which was scarier than his maniac look. They held blood and the promise of danger, but not to them. Dabi brushed it off later.

Dabi keeps being his sarcastic self. Shigaraki doesn't react that much. Their barriers are tight closed as ever. Except when...

Well, those nights. The ones they don't talk about. The ones when Dabi is drunk and Tomura is way too sleep deprived and they find themselves insulting the other in hushes. They're normally out of the League's hearing range, alone in some abandoned part of their actual base.

Catching feelings for the other is a good expression. It's like they're catching a cold or something viral by accident. You just have to be in the wrong place at the right time to get yourself infected.

Their minds are blurry and their hearts are feeling raw the first time they interact like that. It's like Dabi is nothing but a young man trying to find his way back home from some bar because he was done with his working week. Or maybe Tomura is a tired student who's been dealing with a lot of stress and it's feeling bare and naked with his hair floating around with the wind.

They look at each other like they always do. Like trying to solve a mystery. Like trying to put together a puzzle. Like trying to decipher a code you shouldn't be worried about, but it distracts you from the world so why not.

Tomura is the one who notices Dabi is bleeding. He points it out. Dabi shrugs and then Tomura just shakes his head and starts walking, Dabi following him, recognizing that face from being a silent command.

For the rest of the night, Dabi teaches Shigaraki how to fix his staples and Shigaraki does so, taking the hand away from his face for better care.

They wonder about the other. How can Tomura know so much about fighting when it looked like he always lived alone? Why was Dabi drinking something stronger than usual? Where his scars always there? Had he patched someone else before? Was Dabi used to other people patching him?

They go to sleep. When they wake up, the only think in their heads is this can't happen again. They got distracted. Distraction means getting softer. That's a no no for them.

Except it happens again. And again. Until it starts happening when they're sober and they know they're screwed. They shouldn't be feeling safe enough with each other to don't feel the need to say something. They shouldn't be on the non-verbal stage. They shouldn't be taking turns what the other sleep to keep guard. Shigaraki shouldn't know where Dabi is most of the time, in case he wants to go and visit him in secret. The League doesn't know where they go most of the time, anyway.

If you're looking for a phrase to prove they have caught feelings for the other, you have no luck. They don't trust words, because most words are lies. But they can't lie when they look into each other's eyes

And against all odds, it changes nothing. No one suspects a thing, no one can sees them. Of course, what is there to see? Nothing at all. Just a king and his commander. Or maybe, just two guys sharing what's not there.

Because there's nothing there. If Dabi craves Tomura's fingers on his back, it's only because he's hurt again. If Tomura longs for waking up to the sound of Dabi's smoking by the window, it's because that means he doesn't have to sleep for a least a while now.

Dabi looks at Tomura across the room and thinks It's like catching a cold. It's gonna go away. A cold won't distract him from his revenge. When the time comes, he won't think about Tomura. And he's right. It's just a cold. Tomura is happy is just a cold too.

Ah, there's a problem, one we know but they forgot. It is too easy to catch a cold. They come back with the season, when we're vulnerable and cold. And if you catch enough colds and you don't cure them properly, it can become something worst. More permanent. More deadly.

For what they want, I hope they're being careful. Sure, they're fine right now, healthy, they talk and laugh and plan and murder. Do they sleep well at night? When they're hearts are freezing and they are too drunk or too sleep deprived, do they still go to each other? When their brains won't stop working, would the miss those nights? Would they wonder? Would they wish? We see only the surface, but beyond their walls...

Are they badly sick? Oh. Are they... Maybe.... No, of course not, but... When no one sees them, when no one talks, when they don't have to be something else, when they can just exists... When the remember their voices echoing in that room, that time, first time alone, just a nomu and their stares...

And sometimes, they'd look into each other's eyes just to make sure they still know how to do it. And they go crazy, becuase they must be doing somethinf wrong.

It is not an I won't see you die under my watch, so don't die until I'm back and it is not an I'll be taking care of myself too, so don't complain and it is not an prove it, come back safe and sound, come back to me.

That's not what they say. That's not what it means.

And still.

Red eyes.

Blue eyes.

And silence.

[amygdalagustd]

Kim Namjoon on Identity

Namjoon explores the concept of identity time and time again in his life and in his music. He tends to focus on how different parts of himself might be in conflict with each other, and the tensions and confusion that goes with that experience. People are filled with duality, sometimes to the point that it tears us apart. The question of “who am I?” seems a simple one, but underneath it lies a lot of complexity. Who do I want to be? Who do other people want me to be? How much of my identity is formed by my past? Can I change who I am? Can I be multiple things at the same time? Who is the real me? What does it even mean to be the real me?

The question of “who am I?” seems to both fascinate and terrify Namjoon. In this essay we will tackle the question together as I explore all the different ways that Namjoon contemplates identity in lyrics and interviews.

From his decision to become a rapper in the first place to the struggle of taking care of himself as a world famous idol to the questioning of what having an identity actually means, we will travel through Namjoon’s career and highlight all the moments that he asks himself:

“Who the hell am I?”

It’s no secret that Namjoon was a very intelligent and driven student who got good grades in school. In his earlier lyrics he often writes about the pressure that was put on him to succeed and follow a certain path in life. As someone who was good at studying it was expected of him to prioritize his education above all else. Namjoon fit into that role well, but behind the scenes his heart was longing for music. He discovered rap and decided that he wanted a different path for his life. BTS’s early work is filled with messages of following your dreams and not letting other people decide what type of life you want to live. Namjoon often talked about the struggles of living in between the expectations of those around him and his own desires for his future. Some of those conflicting feelings are expressed in Voice, the intro song to his 2015 mixtape RM:

Straight A student and underground rapper

I occupied myself all day with being graded with meaningless numbers like beef gets graded

I just wanted to succeed

because that’s the only thing I was told by others so much that I almost got sick of it

The mirage called happiness- I thought it would be held there

But, sitting at my desk, I was never happy, not for a single moment

I secretly hid a blank sheet of paper between the pages of my study book without my mom’s knowing

My identity that I wrote down along the sound of drums and bass

The feeling of breathing that is different from that of receiving grade reports

Even when I was the top of my class, my mind was never at ease

Is it absolutely necessary to want something that others want?

I secretly raise the volume of my voice

so that you can know, so that it can reach you

I again raise the volume of my voice

so that you can know, so that it can reach you

He also touches on the subject in Born Singer, which was released in 2013:

To be honest, I was scared that I was to prove myself after talking big

that I, who used to know only pen and book, was then to surprise the world

I dunno, that I and the world’s expectations are too asymmetric,

I was scared that I might betray everyone who trusted me

I stretch my burdened shoulders and step onto the very first stage

BTS and Namjoon will continue to talk about the pressure of society's expectations and the difficulty of following your own path in songs like No More Dream, N.O and School of Tears. Fighting back against the oppressive school system is a huge part of their message and mission in their early career. They ask their fans and themselves to look at the person that they are expected to become and question if that image is in line with their own dreams and desires. Namjoon wrestled with this question himself, and therefore has the experience and passion to guide others who might be struggling with their identity and the identity that is put on them.

Idol and artist

The concept of being an idol vs being an artist is one that comes back often in BTS lyrics. Namjoon is an underground rapper who ended up in a boyband, and the identity of being an idol is one that he has wrestled with quite a bit. Can you be both an idol and an artist? Does becoming an idol mean that you have to give up on being an artist? Does it matter if you call yourself an idol or an artist? Does it matter what other people say about it?

Namjoon mentions this conflicting identity in Awakening on his 2015 mixtape RM:

Every night I fight myself inside me

My heart pounds, and my colleagues stab me in the back

saying I became a cripple after going into a company

Yeah fuck you I’m an idol, yeah yeah i’m an idol

I hated it at one time but now I love to get that title

Unlike some keep denying [their identity] to the end on television,

I now fully accept myself, and I just do me

Whether I’m an idol or an artist- it actually never mattered

The way you guys look at me was what defined me

I was obsessed over titles and hung up on how people described me

Listen to the rap of the guy who became a bit smarter as time passed

Namjoon gets shit for being an idol from the underground rap scene and gets shit for being an artist from the idol scene. He is hovering in between, writing his rap lyrics with the power and authenticity of a hip hop artist while simultaneously dancing and looking like a full fledged boyband member. He responds to this dilemma with unwavering pride, the drive to prove himself and a fuck you attitude. This energy dominates a lot of early BTS music. They are still trying to find their place in the industry while not really knowing where exactly they belong. Songs like the Cyphers and Mic Drop highlight the anger they feel about the mistreatment they face from both sides of the industry while boasting about their accomplishments and pride in who they are. Just like Namjoon in Awakening, Yoongi also often mentions his struggles with the identity of being an idol in his solo work. In Idol, the title track of the 2018 album Love Yourself: Answer, BTS face the subject head on:

You can call me artist

You can call me idol

Or you can call me anything else

I don’t care

I’m proud of it

I’m free

No more irony

Because I’ve been me all the time

You can point your fingers at me, I don’t care at all

Whatever reason you have to denigrate me,

I know what I am

I know what I want

I never gon’ change

I never gon’ trade

Why do you talk loud “blah blah”

I do what I do, so mind your own business

You can’t stop me loving’ myself

Idol is a proud, joyful, wonderfully weird and confident self love anthem. It’s a celebration of who BTS are at their core. In the song, they have accepted all the different aspects of their identity and they don’t feel the need to fit in with just one label. In the future, they will go on to say that BTS’s genre is just BTS, and they see no point in categorizing themselves.

RM and Namjoon

In 2018, BTS released a documentary series called Burn The Stage. The series followed them throughout the Wings tour and was supposed to show a more raw version of them.

In episode 6, Namjoon said:

Being an idol star, you don’t have a choice but to have two identities. I invested a lot in my identity as BTS and RM, and this is really a dilemma. We need to find ways to overcome this, and I’m trying different things. I study, I read books. I need time to be wholly me, the original me that I know.

Everyone in BTS has a stage name, a person they become when they present themselves in front of their fans. On stage Namjoon is RM, a fierce and confident rapper, a powerful and charming performer, a dependable leader and someone who lives a fiery and intense life.

Behind the scenes, Namjoon is Namjoon, a man in his twenties who is trying to figure out how to be an adult just like everyone else. He likes to go on bike rides, take care of plants, go to museums, read books and spend time in nature. He gets lazy and reads webtunes for 5 hours straight and sometimes argues with the people around him because they annoy him.

Namjoon spends the years of his youth as part of BTS, in the public eye, and sometimes that causes tension between these different parts of himself; the stage persona and the private person. In Break The Silence: The Movie which came out in 2020, there was a lot of talk about identity. During one of Namjoon’s segments he said:

There is also the fear of how well I’m taking care of myself, the Kim Namjoon as a person. Aside from money, fame, and a sense of calling, what do I really have? When you have those things all other things start to feel really valuable. Those who don’t have them would find them really special. I think it’s a repetition of that, so for me, there is a fear about whether I’m faithfully living the story of my life to the fullest.

He also mentions this dilemma in Airplane pt.2 on the 2018 album Love Yourself: Tear where the lyrics go:

Who should I live as today, Kim Namjoon or RM?

25, I still don’t know how to live well

For Namjoon and anyone in BTS, there is no simple answer to this question, as the nature of their job puts them in a position that makes it hard for them to develop a sense of self outside of the work they are doing. Even though Namjoon is part of an incredibly successful band, that doesn't mean he got it all figured out. As he has poured his youth and his energy into becoming the best performer he can be, he now feels like the Kim Namjoon behind the scenes deserves some energy and space to exist too.

Rap Monster and RM

Before Namjoon was RM, Namjoon was Rap Monster, a stage name that he used until November of 2017. The name Rap Monster fits the fierce and somewhat angst-ridden style of music that Namjoon was making in the beginning of his career. He decided to move on from the name in 2017 because it was no longer representative of him and the music that he was making.

In an interview with Entertainment Tonight Namjoon said that RM could stand for many things. He mentioned Real Me as one of the possibilities, but seems to prefer not to pin one specific meaning to the name.

In another interview with J-14 Magazine when asked what kind of advice he would give to himself in 2013, he said:

Hey Namjoon, Don’t name yourself Rap Monster. You’re a human. You’re not a monster. You’re a beautiful human.

Namjoon has often said that one of his missions in life is to love himself. This struggle to love himself often reflects in his lyrics, and now also in his decision to change his stage name, as the old one had some negative connotations to it. Perhaps Namjoons struggle with self acceptance, self worth and self love is one of the reasons that identity is such a big theme for him, as he is trying to figure out how to be a Namjoon that he can love. RM is a stage name that is more aligned with that goal as it leaves more room for flexibility and change.

Map of the Soul

The subject of identity is explored to the fullest in the Map of the Soul era that started with Map of the Soul: Persona in 2019, followed up by Map of the Soul: 7 in 2020.

Map of the Soul is inspired by the ideas of psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung. The words persona, shadow and ego that are used in Map of the Soul come directly from his theory. BTS uses these concepts to examine different parts of themselves and their career over time. A lot of this era feels like a final examination of the question that Namjoon has been asking himself in different ways throughout his entire career: Who am I?

In Intro: Persona, the opener to both albums, Namjoon writes about his journey with identity in the first few lines of the song:

“Who am I,” a question that I’ve been asking myself for my whole life

A question that I will probably never be able to find the right answer for

If I were answerable with only a few words,

God wouldn’t have created all those many beauties

Namjoon realizes that he will probably never have a clear answer to the question of “who am I?” and he accepts that. He recognizes that his identity can’t be summed up by a few words or traits and that this isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes it can feel more secure to build our entire sense of identity around one aspect of ourselves (I am a straight A student, I am an underground rapper) but that puts us in a position without flexibility and without space for growth. As different parts of ourselves clash with each other we end up feeling scattered, unsure of who we are, and angry at ourselves. It’s only when those different parts of ourselves are allowed to co-exist that we can find peace and a true sense of self.

BTS will talk about this idea in other songs too, like in Idol, where Taehyung sings:

There are tens and hundreds of myself within me

Today, I greet my another self

They are all me after all,

so I just run rather than worrying

The notion also comes back in the speech that BTS held for the United Nations in 2018. The final message of that speech was to find your name and find your voice by speaking yourself. There was a lot of talk about losing your identity as a young child in favor of fitting in, and Namjoon encouraged everyone to be their own person and to find their own voice back. Throughout the speech he mentions how he is both an idol and artist, Kim Namjoon and RM, and also just an ordinary 24 year old guy. He is saying that he can be many things at once and strives to love all those different parts of himself at the same time.

In the final verses of Intro: Persona, Namjoon boldly and confidently claims that he is no longer ashamed of the different parts inside of him, writing:

Yeah my name is R

The ‘me’ who I remember and who people know

The ‘me’ who I created by myself to speak my mind

Yeah, I might have been deceiving myself, I might have been lying

But, I’m not ashamed of it, this is the map of my soul

The lyrics continue, focusing on duality, complexity and balance within his identity, accepting the different parts of himself that coexist together even if they clash:

Dear myself

You must never lose your temperature

because you don’t need to be warm or cold

Though I might sometimes pretend I’m good and sometimes pretend I’m evil,

this is the barometer of my direction that I want to set

The ‘me’ who I want to be

The ‘me’ who people want

The ‘me’ who you love

And the ‘me’ who I craft

The ‘me’ who’s smiling

The ‘me’ who’s crying sometimes

Living and breathing every second, every moment, even now

Within these lyrics there is a tone of direction and intent rather than one of being lost and questioning. This tone is very strong throughout the entire Map of the Soul concept, especially in ON, suggesting that maybe “finding” your identity isn’t about anxiously defining every single part of your personality, it’s more about choosing who you want to be and boldly pursuing the world as an incomplete human being. In the end, there is no simple answer to the question of “who am I?” and that’s okay.

All lyrics translations come from Doolset. Visit the website for additional notes and interpretations of BTS lyrics.