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#IM REMEMBERING HOW I USED TO BE BEFORE I GREW UP LIFE CAN BE GOOD
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i’ve read two novels tonight it’s 3:31 am as i’m typing this if there’s a higher power fucking with us and running things down here i am staring at you and giving you the middle finger. i will become immortal using mcdonald’s preservatives and start slowly destroying the universe in seemingly innocent, harmless ways until everything we know is no longer recognizable and you will be left wondering how you lost control and the answer is ME BITCH. then i’ll make you into a giant egg eternals style and force you to die and recreate the universe but better because unlike you i don’t make the dominant species in a small pocket of my universe fucking ruin lives for shits and giggles. if there’s multiple people involved in running this shitshow i’ll do it chain reaction style everyone has to explode at the right time in order to make the new universe. and magic will be real and there will be a lot more good shit in the universe like FOOD. omigod food is so awesome. and the food won’t affect anyone’s health negatively which would be like. so sick. all of this will happen in a riverdale style plot where everything becomes more and more non sensical over time and you slowly go insane from the sheer weirdness of what is happening until you’re more insane than that guy in the mind electric. big mood honestly man sometimes you just need to sail out to your death that’s respectable goals. less respectable that you did this for your girlfriend but whatever romance is fine. kind of overused plot line whoever is writing this universe sucks at writing. change it up a little bit why aren’t enough people making musical masterpieces about that star trek shit huh. make a goddamn musical masterpiece album about those star trek concepts and then we have something new. or maybe here’s a better idea since there so much lovey dovey shit in there let there be music and let the music have GAY SEX where they are FUCKING RAW. as a certified singer bastard that’s a amazing concept. all these allo sexual folks describing the sex sounds and i have no idea what the fuck they are but if you have them MAKE SOMETHING WITH THE SEX SOUNDS. like y’all got so much to work with and no one is doing it it’s fascinating. take that first step. it only takes one person to start a trend of interesting shit. see there’s things like this in life now we gotta add some fucking horrors too but not the dull soul-sucking horror we have here with the government and capitalism and everyone wanting someone dead. PEACE AND LOVE MY DUDES. except for cops go fuck yourselves. see the universe writers had some interesting shit with my childhood where i hallucinated for a year when i was 7 we need more of that energy. not enough people these days lose their minds over non world ending shit we don’t need another disaster. actually while i’m at it WHAT THE FUCK IS THE GOP DOING?? some people really just turn off their brains and hear the most dogshit insane lies and parrot those statements word for word. sweetheart no that’s not the way go take some benadryl see the hat man expand your worldview and realize that not everything is about what is happening with our local stupid white karen assholes THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. honestly i’m pretty sure i got drunk off our vanilla extract i chugged a bunch of that shit. for fucks sake i mean it’s vanilla it should not taste spicy when i chug it. does vanilla minecraft mean nothing to you bastards?? hey another thing universe writers ever try fucking. MAKING NICE PARENTS. should not be up to half of my friends are on cps watch. i’d like to suggest some more of that peace and love 70s hippie energy. you wrote the goddamn protests live that truth. smoke weed and live a healthy stable life. now i understand perhaps you’ve been dropped as a child. or child abandonment. or parental murder. honestly all of those seem pretty common for god backstories so WE COMMIT TO THE BIT. however, consider talking your shit out. i’ve heard yoga does wonders. or a nice cup of tea. anyways peace out commit crimes be queer and disgusting about it feel the whimsy.
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letruyuread · 3 months
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Little thoughts about about Twisted Wonderland characters and you (yuu)
Riddle loves having the first slice of tarts, strawberry ones especially. So I think that, for holidays or even if you're just feeling down, he gives you the first slice of his strawberry tart. No explanation, please don't mention it- you'll fluster the poor boy. But it means a lot to him, and he secretly hopes you understand that.
Yes, Ace is a teasing prick, most of the time, anyways. But the second anyone brings up how he might possibly feel for you? Absolute tsundere. Denying it to the high heavens. Insults you a lot, too. "How could I ever like the perfect?! They're so- so-" Yeah, no one's falling for it. Give him time. He'll get comfortable with the idea soon enough, and then you have a whole other problem.
Deuce loves to talk to his mom about you. Rants about you- the incredible magic-less human that stole his heart (No, get out of here Ace-). You don't even care that he used to be a delinquent! How amazing is that? His mom is overjoyed that her son met someone who sounds so nice and keeps trying to give him advice to ask you out. She also tries to convince him to bring you home during break- you're not even dating yet.
Cater, of course, posts about you on his Magicam. It's the usual- oh, they're so pretty today, look my partner gave me food 😍. But there are also things he doesn't post, surprisingly. He doesn't post the picture he took of you, laughing against the sunset. That one's private. Too perfectly you to be seen by everyone. No, that's just a moment for the two of you, he thinks.
Trey loves baking you things, baking with you, but he always finds himself flustered when you bake something for him. He taught you the recipe, he remembers, a few weeks ago, and here you are standing with a small platter of cookies. Some are burnt, some taste a bit salty (you didn't add the oyster sauce... right?) and yet he eats them all and loves them because you made them. For him.
Leona, I think, takes very good care of his hair. It was worse before he came to Night Raven, his attendants tried to take care of it, but he always managed to hide away (he was taking a nap). On the first day, though, Vil couldn't stand such a pretty face with such horrid care and taught Leona a routine. Leona now follows that routine strictly. He takes pride in it, as much as his smarts and strength. You know he's having a bad day when it's unkempt and tangled. You also know how much he trusts you when he teaches you the routine, when he lets you help him with it on those bad days or weeks or maybe months.
Ruggie gives you things. It's always random- a bit of his food, a dandelion in the field, a ribbon floating in the wind. He grew up with little- so naturally, he hoards everything he can get his hands on and keeps it for himself. One day he might need it, or his grandma, or the kids in his neighborhood. He's very protective of his growing stash. So when he gives you these things, it's him telling you that you're part of his family now. Ask for anything, he'll find it. Just like he would for the people back home.
Jack adopts a lot of cacti (I nearly spelled cactuses) with you- very silly, right? A lot of cacti. He waters them appropriately, a strict schedule for each, and keeps them at Ramshackle dorm. You have a whole room for them, very bright from large windows and only tables for the plants to be placed on. It's common in his family that you only have one person, your whole life, to stick by. He's hoping it's you- he's hoping you'll fall for him if he keeps coming around, day by day, taking care of your plant children (plant army).
(oh God there's so many but Im on a roll)
Azul, Azul... Oh boy. He really wants you to make a contact with him. Doesn't matter what kind- you want it, you'll get it (even if you don't agree to his offer, honestly). He always seems to want the same thing, though: (no it's not marriage) a friend. That's what he says, that's not really what's in the contract, though. The exact wording is 'companion.' Someone to talk to, someone to trust. Someone who calls his merform pretty and him intelligent. Someone who doesn't make him feel insecure.
Floyd. What do to with you? He's very touchy. Very touchy. Once, he skipped all his classes and just grabbed onto you, having you carry him around on your back and not letting you go. Yes, he put a spell on himself to make him light as a feather, no one could carry that tall of an eel. He's very clingy and doesn't understand how he feels about you. It confuses him, he has no clue what this is, he just knows he wants to be around you and why shouldn't he be?
Jade knows. You have weekly tea parties. Don't worry, everything's free of charge... Except that, you have to pay for that. Oh, you didn't bring any money? Well, a kiss would do, but... Oh, no, that was a joke. Please don't look so worried. Jade may know what he feels for you, but he's still working out how to deal with it. The twins kind of never thought this would happen.
Kalim is such a sweetheart! Give him all the love in the world, he'll reciprocate tenfold! Whatever you want. He can buy it, if not, his family has the connections to get it, surely. But don't be mistaken- he'll adore you if you make something for him. If he can, he'll always have it on him. Plus, he tries to make stuff for you too! It might look bad, or taste weird, but he's beaming at you and the thought is there!
Please give Jamil a day off. No, really- drag him as far away from Kalim and any responsibility as possible. Do everything. Cook for him, cuddle him, tell him he's amazing and smart and very very cool and it is HIS DAY OFF. Take care of him, please? He needs this. He needs you. He'll do the same for you, if you ever overwork yourself or have a bad day. Trust him, and ask him to trust you.
(I haven't gotten beyond book 4, so I don't know enough about the other characters to feel confident writing them. Maybe Idia, Malleus or Lilia, as I really like them and have done some research on them, but for now this is what I got. Enjoy?)
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magisland · 1 month
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ALL THESE YEARS
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lua’s note: happy bday coupsie!! also this is for my loved hanie btw @calicoups 💋
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after studying and living in another state, you were finally back to your hometown, just to be surprised by your older brother welcoming you back with a small party.
seeing all those familiar faces was such a heartwarming moment, basically all of your friends were there, but there was someone that took all the attention for themselves, your brother’s best friend, seungcheol.
when your eyes met his figure you stopped in your tracks, he was different, but yet the same from when he last saw him. seeing him made you feel all the feelings you thought you didnt feel anymore, made you realize that even after all these years you still like him,
seungcheol saw you and immediately smiled and god, how you loved that gummy smile. “hey there, little one”, he said walking towards you and pulling you into a hug. he didnt change his cologne, the smell of home and comfort filling your nostrils.
“hey, missed me?”, you broke the hug and looked at him with a smile on your face, still mesmerized by his looks, not believing you were finally seeing him in front of you after four years.
“maybe i did… maybe i didnt”, he chuckled, “i did miss you. everytime i walked through a ice cream shop i found me thinking of you.. you still the biggest ice cream lover?”
you chuckled and nodded, remembering all the times you walked through an ice cream shop with him and begged him to go inside and buy an ice cream cone for you. “still the biggest ice cream lover”
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the party already ended and your brother was no where to be found, most likely to be with his partner, and you were with seungcheol having a good time in the balcony, watching the view of the city night.
“how was college, little one?”
“it was good. life changing id say”, you looked at him, taking in the sight of him looking intensely at you, like he was scared youd leave and he would forget about you and your face, “but i missed here, cant lie”
he nodded, “i can see you changed”
“oh, really?”
“of course. i can tell you matured by the things you posted on social media and all that, yknow?”
you fake gasped, “was someone stalking me?”
“what? no!”, he laughed, “i have always followed you on twitter and instagram, you just appeared on my timeline. dont think youre that special”, he rolled his eyes in a okay playful manner, he wanted to make sure you knew he was joking about the last thing he said, he wanted you to know that you are indeed that special to him.
“yea right, cheol. pretend its true that i pretend i believe you. but you know, you changed too.. but physically speaking”
“i got bigger, didnt i?” he flexed his muscles, making you laugh and nod, “yes, you did got bigger”
“what else?”
“hm…”, you pretended to think hard about it, “you got older too”
“hey! how could you say that?!”
you laughed and shrugged your shoulders, “what about me? did i change?”
“i think we can say that you changed a bit,” he smiled, running his fingers through your hair, “your hair grew a little longer, your eyes changed a bit too.. now its not filled only with love and excitement for life, now it brings some nostalgia too” you chuckled, “stop making things up!”
“im being serious tho! i can see more love in your eyes”
“what else?”
“your style changed, you dont dress like before”, you chuckled, “thank god for that”
“i liked the way you used to dress up.. your makeup style also changed and…” he looked at your lips, “your lips… they look softer,” he brushed his thumb against your lower lip, “they look so kissable, more kissable than last time”
you felt your heart beating so fast you could swear it would jump out of your mouth, remembering when you saw him for the last time before going to another state, feeling the exactly same butterflies in your stomach you felt when he kissed you goodbye.
“do you think about the last time we saw each other? about the kiss?” he said placing a strand of your hair behind your ear, “because i think about it all the time”
“i think about it way more than i should”
he smiled and placed his hand on the back of your neck before leaning in closer and kissing you. the kiss was gentle, but yet firm. soon enough seungcheol was wrapping his arms around your waist and you wrapping your arms around his neck.
once he broke the kiss to catch some air he rested his forehead against yours and chuckled, “we should do that more often. actually, maybe you should just be mine”
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specialagentlokitty · 8 months
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Negan x teen!reader - friends become family
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can you writes more depressed reader x rick/negan i reader your other work and i just loved them <3 - anon💜
TW: mentions of depression, thoughts of wanting to disappear and self harm
This wasn’t the world you were born into, this was the life you thought you were going to have when you grew up.
You were born into this world, maybe you should have been used to it, but your parents always told you that it wasn’t going to last forever.
They told you stories about the old world, what it was like, and promised you that it was going to go right back to that.
Then the world tore them from you, right in front of your own eyes, and it left you all alone until Gabriel and Aaron stumbled across you and brought you back to Alexandria with them.
But it wasn’t home.
Nowhere was home anymore, despite how much they tried to connect with you, make you feel at home, it just wasn’t home and it never would be.
You spent most of your time trying to find a place to hide from them, they always found you, and you remembered the one place Michonne told you to stay away from.
The cell block, warning you to never go in there.
You made your way down the steps and knelt down by the door, quietly picking the lock and you pushed it open before slipping inside.
Closing the door, you turned around and walked over to the corner, sitting down.
“Well, not that I’m not thankful for the company but I get the feeling since you picked that lock you shouldn’t be in here.”
You looked up, finding a man standing against the cell bars as he looked at you.
“Got a name?”
You shrugged a little bit, looking back down again.
“Alright, I’ll call you kid.”
“Not a kid…” you grumbled.
“Well apparently you don’t have a name so your shit outta luck there kid, why’re you here? Cause no offence but I’m gonna be the one getting it in the ass if they find you here.”
You looked at him, resting your chin on your knees.
“Don’t tell them…”
“Well im not fucking stupid, course I’m not going to tell them.”
He rested his arms between the gaps of the bars, and he glanced up to the window before turning his attention back towards you.
“Names Negan.”
You nodded your head, letting you know that you had heard him.
You didn’t stay long, you didn’t answer any of his questions before you left, locking the door before finding somewhere else to go.
But it soon became a daily occurrence, you would turn up at the cell between certain times, knowing the routines of when they brought him food.
Negan would talk, he didn’t like sitting in silence, and you would just listen to him, or read from one of the books he would slide under the cell bars for you.
You did eventually tell him your name, but he still liked to annoy you and refused to use it.
Today was no different, you came in, locked the door and walked over to your corner.
“Hey.”
Negan sat up from where he had been laid reading and he looked at you.
Negan swung his legs over his cot, and he rested his arms on his knees.
“Kid? What’s up?”
You shrugged a little bit, resting your head against the stone wall.
“Now don’t get me wrong, I love the fact you break into here and barely say a whole sentence to me, but this shit isn’t normal for you.”
You turned around, looking over at him.
“Do you ever feel alone…?” You asked quietly.
“Yeah, sometimes. But I only got myself to blame for that, I know that. I did shit things and it made me alone.”
“What did you do?”
Negan sighed, looking down at his hands.
He explained everything to you, what he had done, the saviours, the lives he had taken and everything he had done before landing in that cell.
When he finished he looked at you, giving you a little grin.
“See? Shit person.”
“My dad used to say that sometimes good people did bad things because they didn’t have a choice…”
He hummed a little bit.
“Yeah? What if that person is just a shit person?”
You shrugged a little bit, turning away to go back to resting your head against the stone wall.
Negan sighed heavily, getting up and he made his way to the front of the call, sitting down in the corner, resting his head on the bars.
“Your parents know you come down here and see a fucked up asshole like me?”
You didn’t reply and Negan looked at you, he heard you sniffled a little bit, and saw you wipe your eyes with the backs of your hands.
“Shit kid, I’m sorry.”
You turned around, keeping your back to him.
“Fuck, come on kid, I’m so sorry I had no idea. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
He sighed again.
“You know I had wife.”
You turned around and looked at him, wiping your eyes again.
“Yeah, yeah. I had a wife, I bet you’re looking at me thinking how can this old bastard have had a wife? Let me tell you she was… she was so beautiful.”
“What happened to her…?”
Negan smiled sadly.
“She died too, cancer.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Yeah, so am I.”
You looked at the door before turning back to him.
“What was she like?”
Negan smiled, and he told you about his wife Lucille, what she was like, and how things were with them all while smiling as he recalled the memories.
Sometimes his smile would fall, and then he’d smile when he told you another happy memory.
“What about your mom and dad?”
“They were optimistic things were going to change… happy… despite everything…”
You told him a few stories, and he listened carefully, not wanting to interrupt you since this was the longest you had spoken to him for.
But you seemed to realise this and quickly jumped up, taking the photo back from him and you left.
You didn’t turn up for the next few days, and he went back into his routine of solitude.
You finally came back one evening, the only giveaway it was you was the small click of the lock as you closed the door once.
“Hey kid.”
You had a lantern, and a bag and you walked over to the cell, sitting down by the bars, you passed him a few of the candles and he walked over to take them.
Negan put others back on your side of the bars, and he set one to the side, taking the lighter you had given him so he could light it and went to hand it back but you shook your head.
“You know the check my shit right? Make sure I have nothing I shouldn’t have.”
“Oh…”
You took the lighter back, and the spare candles to put back in your bag.
It added some light to the place, helping you see around better.
Negan rested his back on the wall, staring at the window on the opposite wall.
“What made you come by so late?” He asked.
You shrugged a little bit, resting your arms on your knees.
Negan turned to look at you, and he could slightly see inside of your bag, and he noticed that it seemed to have food inside, some water.
He furrowed his brows.
“Going somewhere?”
You didn’t say anything.
“Where are you going?”
Again you ignored his question, instead you pulled out a book, and you passed it through the bars to him so he could take it.
“Tell me about the old world?” You asked quietly.
“What do you wanna know?”
“Everything I guess…”
Negan thought for a moment, and he told you about the places that he had been to, what they looked like, about normal schools, aeroplanes, whatever came to mind.
You asked him questions, curious about wanting to know more, and hours passed like that.
You shared some of your food and water with him, and you set your bag down next to the bars of his cell, laying yourself down.
“Come on kid, you can’t sleep in here.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere else…”
“Why not?”
Negan got up, heading to his cot he grabbed all the bedding on there, brining it over and he shoved a blanket through the bars for you, and made his bed on the other side.
You stared up at the ceiling, covering yourself with the blanket before turning your back to him.
“They pity me…”
Negan didn’t miss the slight growl in your tone when you said that.
“They all try to act like they’re my parents… they… they never leave me alone and I hate it…”
“You hate having people around you?”
“I hate people who pretend… they only pity me… they don’t actually care.. just see some teenager with no family…”
Negan nodded his head, but didn’t say anything.
“They’re not my family… my family is dead… I’m alone…”
“Now come on, don’t spout that shit. That’s not true, you’re not alone.”
You didn’t say anything else and he sighed.
“Okay yeah, maybe they pity you. How do you know I don’t pity you?”
“You don’t look at me like they do… it’s why I come here… they look at me and.. and they see right through me… you actually see me…”
Negan didn’t tell you to leave, it was late now, and he wasn’t sure how safe it was out there for you to be wondering around in the dark.
You fell asleep there, and you slept through the sound of the door opening.
What woke you up was the sound of arguing and you slowly sat up.
“I told you not to come down here!” Michonne snapped at you.
You blinked a few times in confusion.
“Hey! Leave the kid alone!” Negan growled at her.
“You shut up, you don’t get a say in this. Gabriel take (Y/N) outside and place an extra guard in front of this place.”
Gabriel walked over to take your stuff and you quickly took it back, and he stopped, raising his hands as he smiled softly at you.
“Come along now, we should leave.”
You looked over at Negan and he gave a small nod his his head, letting you know it was okay to go.
You left your stuff behind, leaving the room, making a quick get away to another one of your hiding places, though it never took them long to find you there.
Aaron was the one to come looking for you.
“Hey…”
He walked into the small room you had called your home since you had arrived here.
“You know why we told you to stay away from the cell right? What Negan had done?”
You nodded.
“Then you understand why we want you to stay away from him? He’ll get inside your head, use you for his own benefit, to manipulate you into helping him escape or something along those lines.”
You stayed quiet, only getting up to leave and Aaron sighed.
You wanted nothing to do with anybody from the community, you never spoke to any of them, the most they got out of you was your name.
You went back to that cell, but the guard at the door looked at you, and you sighed.
Sitting on the steps, you stayed there all day.
Nobody really spared you a glance, it was like you were there but you weren’t really there all at the same time.
Maybe you would be better off if you weren’t there, it’s not like anybody would notice.
You didn’t have much, so it’s not like they’d even notice you were missing.
Getting up, you went back to your makeshift home and stayed there for the rest of the day, lost in your own thoughts.
How you were alone.
You had nobody.
Nobody cared about you.
Nobody loved you.
Nobody would miss you.
The only person who would notice would’ve been Negan but since you weren’t allowed to see him he’d forget about you too.
So you made up your mind, you were going to disappear.
You left that night, making your way back to the cell to see the guard was asleep and you snuck in like always to find Negan was asleep.
You sighed a little, and you looked at the guard before turning to Negan.
“Thank you…” you whispered.
“For what?” He mumbled out.
You jumped a little bit.
Negan was looking at you and you shrugged slightly.
“For being my friend…”
Negan quickly sat up, and he walked over, resting a hand on the bars.
“What’re you doing?”
“I.. I have to go away…”
Negans eyes widened a little bit, he saw your arm when your sleeve rolled up as you reached up to wipe some of your tears.
He saw the bloodied bandage wrapped around it.
“Listen me kid, now Im not saying that you’re gonna do what I think you’re gonna do, but I’m telling you right now down you fucking dare.”
“I’m sorry…”
“(Y/N)!”
You quickly left, forgetting to close the main door, and you ran away.
You didn’t think, you just went to the first place you could think off, the tallest building in Alexandria, and you stood up there.
You looked down at the dark streets, and you took a small breath, turning your back on it, facing the way you had come from.
You didn’t realise that your commotion had alerted the guard who had alerted the council, but you could hear the pounding of footsteps getting closer.
Gabriel, Aaron and Michonne stood there.
“Come down.” Michonne said.
You shook your head.
“Please, let us talk about whatever is going on. What makes you feel like you must do this.” Gabriel said softly.
You shook your head again, shuffling back and they all tried to branch out, but nobody dared to get any closer.
“Just talk to us.” Aaron whispered.
“No…”
“Then who will you talk to? If there’s somebody out there that can stop you who is? Who do you want to speak to?” Michonne asked.
“Please, we don’t want you to do this..”
You didn’t reply, and suddenly Michonne ran off while Gabriel and Aaron watched you.
You didn’t know what they were doing and you were trying to work up the courage so you could see your family again, so you could take those last few steps back.
A few minutes later Michonne came back, and she shoved Negan forward making him stumble a little.
“Fucking hell, push me any further and I’ll be going over that edge.”
“That would be the day.” Michonne scoffed.
She gestured for the other two to back away, and they all walked away slightly.
Negan looked up at you.
“Hey, let’s talk, yeah?”
“I don’t want to talk…”
He hummed a little.
“Do you want to jump?”
“I… I don’t know…”
Negan sighed, and he looked up at you, holding out his hand.
“Come down (Y/N)…”
“I can’t…”
“Why not?”
You didn’t say anything.
Negan sighed, lowering his hand, bringing it up to run over his head as he tried to figure out what to do.
“You know, I wouldn’t forget you. I’d remember.”
You looked at him.
“You think everybody will forget you right? You’ll be able to disappear like you want right?”
You nodded.
“Hate to break it to you kid, but that’s not true. I wouldn’t, I’ll always remember you. We’re friends right?”
“Yeah…”
“Then let me help you, that’s what friends do. They help each other, and I’m not about to stand here and watch you throw your life away. You’re not alone, and I know it’s hard.”
“Does it get easier…?”
“No. It doesn’t. But you learn to live with that pain, and you just grow around it, but you have to be willing to just try, if you take that step, if you let yourself go, you’ll never know what will happen in your future.”
You shrugged a little.
“I don’t have one…”
“You don’t know that. How about we find out, together? Yeah?”
“What if you leave too…?”
Negan smiled softly at you.
“I’m not going anywhere kid.”
“You can’t say that…”
“Maybe not, but I don’t give a shit. I mean I’m in a cell, do you really think I’m running off anywhere?”
You shook your head.
“Come on, come down now.”
You looked down at the ground, and Negan took this as his chance to run forward and grab you, pulling you down.
He fell over with a heavy thud and slight groan of pain, and you fell to the side, sitting on your knees as you cried.
Negan sat up, pulled you into a hug, placing his hand on the back of your head.
“I’m sorry…” you cried quietly.
“It’s alright… you’re okay…”
Negan held you tightly, sighing heavily, running his hand up and down your back.
“Don’t you ever try anything like this again…”
Negan placed a hand on your arm.
“And stop hurting yourself… you don’t deserve this pain…” he whispered
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UNDER THE STARS
Seungcheol X Reader
Seventeen Masterlist
Genre: Friends, fluff, domestic
note: Im open to requests!
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"(Y/N)! Come out fast" You hear seungcheol's voice call out for you.
"Coming!" You yell as you slip on your shoes and head out.
It was a chilly night, you clutched your jacket. Seungcheol was on break, he came back to his roots, back to the quiet place he grew up in with his grandmother for bit. You were classmates, you ran into him a week after he arrived.
He remembered you and rest was history you and him would meet up every night to take a walk under the stars. It was peaceful. It had been almost two months of him being around and you were getting used to him, a friend to hang out with.
The mental state you were in before he arrived, you could have totally used a friend. You were glad you bumped into him that day and you were grateful he was around.
You would talk about absolutely anything under the night sky.
"Do you miss Seoul?" You ask him after walking a distance in silence.
"A little, I got used to the city life I guess, but this trip definitely brought back a lot of memories"
He had told you before, being nostalgic made him feel like a normal quiet boy again, you were glad you could make me feel that way.
"Remember how in elementary school, this boy, 'proposed' to me and suddenly the whole class was a part of a wedding" you almost got married in elementary school. You laugh thinking about the incident.
"Of course I remember, I even fake cried" he laughs recreating
"He's a hot shot lawyer I heard" you update him randomly. "Really?"
You nod, "yeah, maybe I should've just married him then" you joke and chuckle at the thought.
"I'm way better now" you hear Seungcheol say subconsciously.
“Oh yeah international celebrity SEVENTEEN” You tease him further.
He only chuckles at that. “Your fans definitely love you, I’ve seen a lot of messages on weverse, they’re..” you look for the right words, “passionate”
You walk in silence for a bit looking at the snow around you. You can hear the crickets chirping, it was that silent. Seungcheol leads you to a bench on the trail and you both sit down. You clutch your jacket closer as chills roll down your spine. You look up to Seungcheol looking right back at you. His hands immediately travel to your jacket zipper and he zips it up for you. You were startled a little and jumped back.
“I have something to tell you”
Your heart races, nothing good has ever come out of conversations that start like this. Your heart sinks and your lips go dry.
“What is it?” You look over at him, summoning all courage.
“I have to go back to Seoul tomorrow” he says and as if right on cue you get another chill.
“Are you alright?”
There was a weird silence before you could speak up. You nod at him, letting him know you were alright. A sudden sense of sadness flashes over you. You realise you’ll miss him. You realise how different your lives are. Everything happens at once.
“Thats good, you keep telling me how you miss your members, I’m sure they miss you too” you say half heartedly. As much as you wanted him to return to his family. You didn’t want to let go just yet.
“I’ll miss you” you hear him say. This suddenly didn’t feel like a friend talking to a friend. You look up a little shocked.
“What?”
“I’ll miss you. I wish I could take you with me”
“What are you talking about?” You chuckle nervously.
He gets off the bench and extends his hand for you to hold, gesturing you to get off as well.
“Makes me sad to leave you here (y/n). You’ve become a part of my routine, I don’t like that I have to leave you”
“What are you saying, we’re friends we’ll keep in touch” you playfully and nervously hit his arm, not sure what to expect.
He turns around and stop, he was too close to your face causing you to jump back and falling straight on your butt.
“That hurt” you say slowly getting up and dusting off the dirt on your jeans. Seungcheol helps you up and slithers his arms around your waist as soon as you’re on your feet.
“Phew, is this a drama? What are you doing” your hands are now on his chest.
“I like you, lets date (Y/N)”
You would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have a crush on Seungcheol, but the only thing that stopped you before was to not come off as someone that is using him for his name so you never thought of him in a romantic way to even get your hopes up. Now that he said it himself, changed everything for you.
"Im scared" you say and he chuckles.
"Of what?"
You couldn't answer.
"Your fame"
He looks serious. it's a real possibility. His fame is intense and dealing with all the issues that come with it, the distance, the busy schedules it was too much for someone ordinary as you.
"But..." you start, taking a deep breath.
Seungcheol looks expectant.
"I like you"
A smile creeps up his face.
"Then I'll figure out the rest," he puts the strand on your face behind your ear.
"But..."
"How about we just focus on liking each other" he says and that reassures you, cupping your cheek.
That makes you go soft. He's right. There's no point over thinking this. You like each other, that's all that should matter.
"Okay I trust you" you get on your toes and kiss his cheek, it felt cold.
His face turned red while you pull away.
"Good"
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thunder-point · 1 month
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phumpeem sport au where they’re both professional figure skaters. and they both compete against each other, one represents usa while the other represents Canada as they both grew up in both countries respectively. and they’re often being compared to each other because of their ethnicity and their similarities in skills and performances.
so really, maybe the hate started there. but for a long as peem can remember, he can’t fucking stand the guy. phum always seems entirely egotistic and far up his own ass all the time. he wears smug like it’s his resting face. and peem truly can’t get away from this guy because aside from the facts that they would see each other in almost every international competitions. everyone around him always can’t seem to fucking shut up about phum, practically worships the ground he walks on when he as a matter of fact supposed to be THEIR competition. his manger would show him videos of phum’s performances just so he can fucking fan girl about how great phum to PEEM’S FUCKING FACE. and in every interview, he’s always asked about phum, what he thinks of phums skill and would he ever consider a collaboration. because phum, the fucker, said with his own mouth in an interview that he would love to collab with peem if given a chance rather than always competing against him. did he ask peem if he wants to be anywhere with 6 feet of perimeter with him ?
it also doesn’t help that everyone seems to be shipping them together. really it all started in the 2021 worlds where the camera panned to phum during one of peem’s final performance. “completely starstrucked and in an absolute awe” in the title of the video. peem calls bullshit, he thinks it’s actually a look a jealously because peem did win medals that year and phum didn’t. and ever since then, there are countless of fancam of their reactions during each other’s performances. peem isn’t gonna lie, he has watched probably all of them. no not to look at phum’s face because phum is undeniably handsome, face hand sculpted personally by god himself. no of course he’s not watching because of that. he’s watching because he wants to see phum admiring him and turning green with envy because peem is a better skater. only because of that.
then there are times when phum shows up while peem is practicing and when peem calls him out for it, he would say that he’s just waiting for his turn to use the ring and peem shouldn’t mind him. and peem is kind of dealing with a bad ankle for almost a year now and everytime he lands too hard, there’s a sharp pain but olympic is in a few days and peem just has to push through. what peem should have known is phum can see it. because if there is anyone who knows figure skating it’s phum. so he makes a comment, “if you let your body thinks before your head anytime you skate, you’re going to fuck up your body, peem.” and peem hates it. he hates that phum of all people is giving him fucking skating advices. it makes him feel inferior to phum like he’s no good compared to someone as experienced at phum. and peem never likes to admit it but phum is undeniably better than peem. even if you speak from an unbiased standpoint. he’s been skating longer than peem, practically his whole life. he’s simply far more experienced compared to peem. peem mutters for phum to shut the fuck up and stay out of his business. then phum gets on the fucking ring too and he starts skating. and suddenly, they’re not even practicing. they just skating around the ring and peem doesn’t know why but he’s smiling and he’s watching phum. and phum is watching him too. phum is always watching him. and peem doesn’t remember the last time he laughs this much on the ring. when they lay flat on the freezing ice in exhaustion, phum keeps laughing and peem can’t fucking stop looking. then out of nowhere phum says, “i can’t remember the last time i had this much fun skating. like im not just doing it because i have to. when did skating stop being this fun ?”
and it’s not meant to be deep, maybe phum is just saying it as a passing thoughts but peem thinks he gets it. because he feels it too, the way skating has always been more fun with phum. that ever competition he turns up to, he’s excited to watch phum skates, to see what he has to showcase. and none of it has ever truly fumed from jealousy if peem is being honest, it’s genuinely because peem truly thinks phum is so fucking good at what he does. phum makes peem wants to be a better skater and when phum lays there, all breathless and blissfully contented, peem thinks about telling phum so.
now i don’t know shit about figure skating and im hoping you do Cole 👉🏻👈🏻
Star *inhales exhales inhales again* jesus Star wdym you don't know about skating??? I KNOW SHIT ABOUT IT BUT YOU???/ how much do I have to pay you to write this? Sincerely? I had this ask for a while because I couldn't respond to longer asks these past two weeks. But I also hold such dear thoughts for this one because even though I really don't know almost anything about sports outside some knowledge about volley and basketball-
let's just say that i absolutely adore sport aus in every fandom I'm in. and ice skaters phumpeem????? That would be absolutely magical, Star.
First of all, correct me if I'm wrong but from your gorgeous ideas I retain that Phum is absolutely 'i admire this pretty skater so much, he's so cool, so elegant, so talented.' and maybe he even has a teeny tiny crush on him.
But Peem is in such denial that he thinks Phum is rather envious, smug and self-centered and AND i would love that. I would love to have a fic where Phum is smitten and softened with admiration and maybe just slightly shy when in Peem's presence often enough, but Peem sees it as something else, something more brash because he's in denial of things. and because of that constant comparison that made him obvious to phum's real feelings, his real way of being.
I just think soft, frost-covered vibes. snow, and silver breathes and Peem discovering Phum like he discovered his love for skating. And them becoming a team worthy of history books. And soft skating scenes and them holding each other and doing twirls in each other's arms AND MITTENS AND HOT CACAO AND-
star 🥺🥺🥺 please
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reidmania · 10 months
Text
KISS IT BETTER !
miguel o’hara
PLEASE READ AN, ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO THIS STORY
summary: reader has never been good at talking about emotions, always dealing with the guilt and feeling as if a burden so it often leads to pushing people away… but miguel wants to know.
warnings: mentions of mental health, mentions of depression and depressive episodes, pushing away, self sabotage etc
I HATE the end of this, it was so rushed im so sorry
an/ i want to start a series where i write different characters comforting readers or characters with certain mental illnesses because i know a lot of people don’t get that sort of comfort and recognition and i know theres a lot that isn’t talked about and i really want to bring awareness to it. this touches on a few topics but im happy to write individual works, and they can be about any character.
this
PLEASE if there is anything you want to see written about in this series send me a message and tell me whatever it is, and any certain details you want included. it would be so so deeply appreciated.
the kiss was soft, so soft you wouldn’t have felt it if you weren’t already half awake, despite your eyes being closed. you knew it was miguel, leaving for work.
you could feel the way he lingered in the door way after whispering that he loved you. you could almost sense the worry in his posture, not even having to look at him.
you stay still, eyes closed. it was early, you had no reason to be awake, yet you were. you waited until you heard the front door close to open your eyes and stir in your position on the bed.
you missed miguel, you were asleep when he got home, from late hours, and you were asleep when he left in the morning. you no longer visited him at the HQ like you use to, purely just not having the energy to even leave the bed most days.
it seemed as if every moment, that should shine in golden colours, had been replaced by grey. the days blended together, you couldn’t remember what day it was or what time it was.
you held it well though, the house was always cleaned by the time miguel got home, his food was ready in the fridge, for when he got home. he had no idea about the constant overwhelming fear of day to day life.
you wanted to tell him, but he was dealing with so much as it was, and the last thing you wanted to do was put more pressure on him then necessary. you grew up in a house hold where talking and showing your feelings was seen as weak, and it had just stuck with you.
it wasn’t that you didn’t trust miguel, you did, more then anything. but you didn’t think it was important, of course you had gone through things like this before, you could get through it.
the day went on, eventually you got out of bed, showering, no matter how shit you felt, you’d shower, if it was just you there, you probably wouldn’t but there was that fear that if miguel saw how bad you were effected by this, he would leave.
the house didn’t need to be cleaned, miguel had cleaned his dish when he finished eating. it was late noon, miguel wouldn’t be home till later, but you preferred ered to cook earlier so you could go back to bed and wallow in self deprecation.
halfway through cooking, just basic spaghetti bolognaise, you heard keys, the front door. you furrow your eyebrows, wondering who it could be since miguel wasn’t supposed to be home till later.
until you heard his voice.
“amor, i got off early” he yelled out, you squeeze your eyes shut, as he yells out your name, eventually finding you in the kitchen, body turned to face the stove where you were making the meat.
“baby- it’s early. why are you cooking so early” he asked, walking up to stand next to you. you just shrug, not saying anything. your mind now linking with your stomach, a bubble of anxiety filling it.
“hey- talk to me” miguel said, grabbing your wrist to stop you from mixing, which was just an excuse to avoid the conversation- he knew you.
“wanted to get it done so i could finish cleaning” you mutter, miguel looks around at the already spotless house. “baby- its clean already”
you just shrug, still not looking at him. he turns the stove off. “miguel” you sigh. you were burnt out, completely burnt out, tired of everything lately, waking up, everything being so repetitive.
“talk to me” he says, his tone wasn’t quite begging yet, but wasn’t demanding either. “what am i meant to talk to you about” you run a hand through your hair as you walk away from the stove, leaning against the counter.
“whats going on with you” he says, tilting his head softly, you squint your eyes. “nothing, miguel” you say.
“obviously it’s something, its like i haven’t see you awake in days, you don’t come to the hq, the house has been spotless lately, which is a massive indication of something being up since you only clean when you’re stressed, just talk to me”
you feel anger, but you aren’t angry, youre so insanely tired and drained that everything is just pissing you off. “can you just drop it, oh my gosh” you say, leaning off of the counter to walk away, miguel only follows.
“i just want to help you, baby.”
you audibly groan. “god!! miguel you’re a superhero, you help people who are being attacked or are in danger!”
“i think you are in danger” he says softly. you scoff, miguel doesn’t take it to heart. he knows something is up, and he knows its bad. you aren’t one to yell or get angry like this.
you cant really explain how your feeling besides wanting to smash your head into a brick wall.
“miguel, can you just leave it alone!”
you walk away this time, miguel doesn’t follow. he runs a hand through his hair, beating himself up on the way he approached the situation.
you sigh as you walk into the bathroom, locking the door behind you, you slide down against it, pulling your knees to your chest, guilt eating you alive at how you reacted.
you hated how your hurt always came out in anger, it was like you had no control over it. this is why you just deal with it alone.
you don’t realise you’re crying until you open your mouth to take a shakey breath, the taste of salt filling your mouth from your tears. you know miguel deserves an explanation, he deserves better.
you want to be better, but you have never been close to anybody like you are with miguel.
its insanely scary, the fear he will leave if he finds out how truely fucked you are.
you didn’t know how to cope with having people close to you, and having people who genuinely care, it had always been a challenge to open to.
you run your hands over your face as you hear a soft knock on the door, “princessa.” miguel says softly, probably the softest you’ve ever heard him talk.
you stay silent on the other side. “you don’t have to talk to me about it, and im sorry i pushed, i just care” miguel said, you could tell he had his head against the door, because of how close his voice was.
“just come out” he says softly. you pause for a moment as you hear the slight crack in his voice, you were shocked that he hadn’t already left, your outburst was embarrassing and you shouldn’t have taken it out on him like that.
you shuffle, miguel hears it, then he hears the click of the lock, he steps back as you open the door.
“im sorry”
“im sorry”
you smile softly as you and miguel talk at the same time, “i am sorry, i shouldn’t take my feelings out on you.” you say softly.
he shakes his head, opening his arms, you shuffle towards him, letting his arms wrap around you tightly. “just want to make sure you’re okay, baby”
you frown, “im sorry-“
“i know baby, ive noticed” he cuts you off, he could sense you didn’t want to talk about everything that was going on, but he wanted you to know he was there.
“im going to have tomorrow off, an us day. lets lay in bed and cuddle all day, do whatever you need to do,” he says.
you look up at him.
“thank you”
“course, cuddles and kisses can almost fix anything” miguel says softly, kissing your forehead.
“not dead, kisses wont fix dead” you say, smiling up at him from his arms.
“yeah, but you aren’t dead, so i can kiss you till youre all better”
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notiddygxthgf · 11 months
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★ pairings: suguru geto x satoru gojo, satosugu
★ synopsis: Suguru Geto struggles with letting people in after leaving a three-year-long abusive relationship. Enter Satoru Gojo, the boy who doesn't seem to take no for an answer.
★ c.w.: slow burn, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, dub con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, mahito is a real abusive asshole, past relationship(s), past abuse, recovery, hurt, comfort, vent fic, based on my shitty ex, my therapist told me it'd be a good idea idk, im a good writer I swear, brought to u by the bch who wrote best friend's brother!choso, sexual tension, new love, fluff, angst, smutt, graphic, psychological trauma, theres a happy ending in here I swear, angst with a happy ending, psychological trauma, PTSD, idiots in love, sexy smut I swear.
★ a/n: NGL I kinda hate how this turned out. but! it had to be done! I had to get it out of the way. the way I think this is gonna work is past flashbacks first, present time next. it's gonna prob alternative between the two for a while. comment your thoughts! let me hear u! feel free to slander mahito... he plays the shitty ex.
★ w.c.; 3.4k
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𝐔 𝐍 𝐅 𝐎 𝐑 𝐓 𝐔 𝐍 𝐀 𝐓 𝐄    𝐀 𝐈 𝐋 𝐌 𝐄 𝐍 𝐓
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PROLOGUE
2019. MONTH UNKNOWN.
I WAS ONLY 12 YEARS OLD the first time I tried to kill myself. In retrospect, I can’t possibly imagine what could have been so important to little me that he firmly believed he would rather die than live without it. I wish I could say that I had a difficult life. That simply was not the case. I grew up with two loving parents and a kind brother, in a small town where every friend I’d ever had was within a mile of me at any given point in time. We weren’t rich, but we most certainly weren’t poor. I had everything a child could ask for and so much more.
Again, I wish that I could say I had a difficult life, but that simply was not the case. 
It’s just that I’ve had these… thoughts for as long as I can remember. An unfortunate ailment, if you will. No matter what I did, there always seemed to be something missing. Something I felt I would spend my whole life searching for – or at least trying to supplement.
At 12 years old, I planned my first attempt.
It didn’t work.
So, now, faced with the unbearable burden of deciding what I was going to do for the rest of my life, I chose to pursue a childhood dream of mine. I wanted to go to school to become a doctor. I didn’t know what kind, per se, but I knew that I wanted to heal. 
Maybe I thought, I don’t know… that if I healed enough people, I may have been rid of the ailment – healed, myself.
So I left my small town, enrolling in an academy 30 minutes away from the house. I got into their Healthcare program. Again, what more could a kid want?
Yet the void inside of me only grew larger, more ravenous. I lost touch with all of my small town friends – one by one. I had no one.
But I was pursuing my passion, right? Why wasn’t it enough?
It was in that godforsaken academy that I met him.  
“Pick a card,” he asked me. His grey eyes were so sharp, even then. “Any card.”
I glanced down at the fanned-out deck in his pale hand, eyes crawling over the many different suits and shapes before eventually settling on an ace. I pulled the card out. 
Ace of spades. I tried to memorize it. I also, coincidentally, tried my best to ignore the incessant thrum of my racing heartbeat against my veins, my arteries, my chest. He was sitting so close to me.
It was just the two of us in the hallway. Just me and him and the infinite space between us, the small gap between my right shoulder and his left. 
I handed it back to him. “What are you doing?” I asked.
He slipped the card back into the deck without looking. He shuffled it once, twice, three times. Made a bridge with his hands and let the cards fall back into place. I watched with a remarkable sense of interest.
“Is this your card?” He tucked a stray blue hair behind his ear, producing a card.
I furrowed my brows, about to say something, when I noticed something off about the card. It was different. Where there once was a large blue spade, there now was a small, torn piece of lined paper taped to the surface. The gray lettering on the handwritten note read,
WILL U GO OUT W/ ME?
My eyes went as wide as saucers. My mouth lolled open, lips shaped around his cursed name, “Mahito, I…” 
I thought of my parents. I thought of my religious father. What would he say? What would he say if he found out his 14-year-old son was a homosexual?
I thought of my parents, and I bit my lip, “I don’t know if I can… I don’t know. What if my dad finds out?”
Mahito tucked the deck of cards neatly into the pocket of his black cargo pants. His hoodie was rolled up to his elbows, revealing intricate stick-and-poke linework over his forearms. He shrugged, humming, “Who says he has to?”
The tardy bell rang. We were late for first period.
My mouth opened by itself again. At fourteen, I wasn’t so sure I was ready to lie to my father about something so serious. Not yet.
Seemingly sensing my hesitance, Mahito laid a hand on my stiff shoulder. “Hey,” he muttered softly. “Think about it. Give me your answer after school, yeah? We’ll meet here at 3:30.”
And then he slipped away with a quiet, ‘See ya’.
Without confirmation.
In his absence, I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.
2019 February.
Mahito ran away from home two weeks into our relationship. Ran away without so much as a notice or a warning. Ran away and left me there to assume the worst. He didn’t live in the best area. Perhaps he was staying with a friend? If not, was he dead in a ditch somewhere?
There was no way to tell.
He could have at least told me, I had thought. Then again, would I have tried to stop him? Undoubtedly.
They issued a missing persons alert the day after he didn’t show up. I remember seeing the poster all over my social media, all over the streetlights and posts. 
It didn’t seem real. Even as I held the missing poster in my trembling hand, I remember feeling numb. I remember feeling as if this were all some sort of cruel prank, that he would be back just in time for our after-school walk with a smile on his face.
 But there he was, smiling up at me from the page in my hand. 
MISSING PERSON: MAHITO 
Height: 5’8
Weight: 150
Eye color: gray
Hair color: blue
Remarkable features: tattoos on arms
Last seen: February 14th.
I crumpled the piece of paper up, tossing it across my messy bedroom with a sigh. I hadn’t slept last night, and I wouldn’t have slept tonight either.
I sunk into myself, curled into a ball on my twin-sized mattress – the same one I’d had for as long as I could remember – and cried. I was utterly inconsolable. I cried until my voice was hoarse, until there were no more tears left to cry.
Until my phone buzzed.
I assumed it was another homework notification. I didn’t check. What did it matter? In my eyes, my world had stopped spinning. It had stopped the moment he ran away.
But it buzzed again, and again.
It was then that I realized I was getting a call. Begrudgingly, I picked my phone up off of the bed. I turned it over. The screen was lit up with the words ‘NO CALLER ID’. 
I wanted to hang up. Desperately. Wanted to save myself a shred of peace and dignity and move on with my night – in hindsight, I probably should have just hung up when I had the chance. But, no, I felt something in my gut call out to me.
Against my better judgment, I answered, “Hello?”
The line crackled. “Suguru?”
Suguru. 
My heart leapt up into my throat. With wide eyes, I answered again, “Who’s this?”
“Suguru, it’s me, Mahito,” He sighed with relief, like he hadn’t expected me to pick up. Truth be told, I hadn’t expected it either. “I’m sorry I couldn’t call you sooner, my love. I’m calling you from a phone booth right now.”
My love. The nickname sounded like honey coming from his lips, but I knew it was laced with venom. Still, as would seem to be the trend, I was weak for it. 
My eyes began to water again, somehow. “Where are you?”
I knew better than to call him ‘baby’. Not when my father was sleeping in the room next to mine. 
“I can’t tell you that right now,” He answered. Of course, he couldn’t. There always seemed to be something he was hiding from me. I didn’t see it that way back then. “Look, I don’t have much time to talk, I–”
“I’ve been worried sick about you, Mahi,” I spoke again. I felt numb. So numb. “Please, just–”
“I stole ten grand from my mom,” He cut me off. “I’m running away from home. The abuse, it’s just– I can’t. I can’t, anymore.”
His mother was a real piece of shit. I knew that. She never wanted Mahito, not as a single mother. So she tried multiple times to be rid of him – beating him senseless with hangers and wires and even going so far as to attempt to poison him on his birthday. 
Still, ten grand was a lot of money.
Stolen.
“I’m on the run from the cops, I– I think they’re trying to find me,” He panted into the microphone. “You can’t tell anyone, okay? You gotta lie for me.”
I felt sick. Sick to my fucking stomach.
“I’m sorry, I…” I trailed off, holding back vomit. “Hold on.”
I ran to the bathroom and promptly emptied the contents of my stomach into the sink. I had just eaten mac and cheese an hour or so ago, and the vomit was tinted yellow. I could still see a few noodles here and there, only partially digested.
It made me want to hurl again.
“You okay?” he asked me.
“Am I– No, I’m not fucking okay, Mahito! First, you run away without–” I had to swallow bile a second time. I felt it burn as it slid back down my throat. “You could have fucking warned me , or something, and now you’re calling me at eleven at night to tell me you’re fleeing the fucking cops?”
He paused. “I know,” he said. “I know, I’m sorry. You know I love you.”
And immediately, like some sort of magic trick, I felt my exterior soften. I didn’t even care that we were only a few weeks into our relationship. He was my first. It was like he knew the effect he had on me. 
“Suguru,” he said again. “I love you.”
His words were like honey. I took a spoonful.
“I love you, too,” I sighed into the receiver. 
“You’ll keep quiet about this for me, right?”
I was weak for him, as always.
“Okay,” I said.
I found myself sitting at my desk in the middle of the day, struggling to concentrate on the lesson. The classmates at my table – more like a group of desks placed together – were talking about the missing boy.
My missing boy.
They were talking to me, actually, but I had long since tuned them out. It was all a blur for me – a blur of faces and voices and words I didn’t want to hear. 
“He’s a freak,” The boy across from me, Choso Kamo, remarked. “If I were you, I’d break things off before it’s too late.”
Choso’s critical words sent a sharp pang right through my rotten heart. 
“Exactly,” My friend, Shoko, chimed in. She was a pretty thing, about a few inches shorter than me with brown hair up to her chin. She always looked so tired . I wonder if she recognized that I felt the same. “He’s got some serious issues. Guys like that rarely make for healthy relationships.”
Choso leaned in, leaned over the desk to offer more of his thoughts, “You can’t just ignore the fact that more people are catchin’ on, either. What if your dad finds out? You know he thinks that… kind of stuff is wrong.”
Choso was Shoko’s friend. He wasn’t homophobic. A little misguided, but he had the spirit. Hell if he weren’t a raging heterosexual, I might have even gone for him instead. He had that look I liked – sleepy, downturned, dark eyes framed by messy bangs. He never wore colors. He was content to make a statement in black. Black eyeliner, black shirt, black doc martens, black hair done up into two messy pigtails. 
It was his signature look.
Our classmates didn’t take too kindly to ‘emos’ like him, though. He was an outcast. Hell, we all were. That’s why we sat together, after all.
The harsh opinions of my classmates threatened to erode my self assurance. I knew people were talking – people always talked. I knew the hushed whispers of my name as I walked past people and cliques in the mornings on my way to class weren’t a hallucination. 
I knew I had to stand by my boyfriend. I knew I had to stand by Mahito, but the weight of their disapproval put a strain on my shoulders. Does anyone want to hear that their friends don’t approve of their partner?
Admittedly, he wasn’t a very good partner. He had demonstrated that much in the first few weeks of our relationship. I knew he wasn’t good for me, but, fuck, I wanted to try. I wanted to make things work so badly that I ached for it. Everyone else knew he wasn’t good for me, too. 
But, fuck, was I naive to wish I could prove them all wrong?
In my eyes, he was only misunderstood. The ghosting, the red flags, the alarming behavior… I could see past it all because I loved him. My first love. No one understood him the way I did. How could I blame them for their concerns?
It didn’t matter how many voices I had in my ear telling me it was wrong. Soon, he would come home to me, and I would feel his skin against my cheek as I hugged him hello. That’s all that mattered.
How could that be wrong?
“It’s not wrong. How could it be?” I kept my gaze trained on my desk. My vision was blurry, unfocused. My mind felt numb and detached. I muttered. “I love him. He loves me, too. He told me he did.”
He did.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Choso and Shoko exchange a dubious look. 
They didn’t understand him the way I did.
“He told me he loved me,” I repeated the words like a mantra, like a reminder to myself that I was fighting for something. 
That as long as I was loved by him, I would be okay. 
He called again that night. Earlier, this time, at nine o’clock. 
I was in the shower at that time, curled up on the floor, sobbing into my arms. The water streamed past my shoulders, my arms, my nose. I glanced over at the screen through blurry eyes. 
NO CALLER ID.
I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath.
Then, I let the call ring.
Current Day. 
[12:13 PM]
[Automated]: you have 3 new messages. Play back?
[USER] Selected:
[NO] ...
... [View Inbox]
...
[ Last 6 Years ].
[REPLAY>>] Message from 'Blocked Number'.
Transcription:
" Suguru, this is me, Mahito. I don’t know if you can hear me or not– I don’t know if anyone can hear you or not, so please use headphones, or something, I don’t know. I just wanted to call and make sure you’re okay. I’m gonna try and call you later. Right now you seem to not be answering your phone for some reason. Doesn’t matter, though. I’m not in a really good place, right now, I’m… surrounded by a lot of people. So, um.. I just wanted to say that I love you, and I’ll call you a little bit later, okay? Bye– kisses…….”  
[End of Transcription] 
[Automated]: Would you like to play the next message?
[ Yes. ]
“ Suguru, is this– this is me, Mahito. Um.. I just wanted to say that I’m okay. Nothing has happened to me yet. I’m perfectly safe. I’m in a laundromat somewhere. And, uh, I said I love you… I don’t know why you’re not answering my calls… You know that I always try to text you whenever I can– and try to… call you, but… I don’t know, maybe you’re too depressed, or some shit. Maybe you’re mad at me. I understand. I– what I did was wrong, I… What I did was idiotic, and what I did was stupid, and shitty… And I understand if you’re mad at me and you don’t wanna answer my calls. So, yeah, I gues… I’ll try to call you again tomorrow. 
If you’re hearing this voicemail, but you probably won’t, um… I just want you to know that I love you. And I’m trying to do my best just… to see you again. You like pizza, don’t you? How about we do a pizza date sometime, yeah? Somewhere around next week, maybe. Huh? How about that? Sounds cool, right? Yeah, yeah it does. Um, anyway, I… gotta… I gotta go. I have to… do some things. Uh… uh… at least I love you. 
And, I– I might not have brought much with me, but I have the little stuffie that you gave me. It’s in my book bag. Not gonna take it out because people are gonna know what my things look like. I’m always gonna keep these memories close to my heart. I don’t care what anybody says. Even if I go to prison, I’m taking this shit with me. Alright? Um, I guess that’s it. And… last thing? I love you. 
Please, answer me. If you’re calling, that means you actually care, but if you don’t, then… it’s fine. Don’t recall this number. I’m not gonna respond. This is just some random guy’s phone. Okay? Um… I love you, and please stay safe. Please don’t worry, I’m still alive. I miss you. Okay, bye, I love you.”
 [End of Voicemails Received on February 18th, 2019].
[Automated]: Would you like to replay the messages?
[ No. ]
[ Delete ] > [ All messages from {Blocked Number}] 
[Automated]: Are you sure?
[Yes]
[Automated]: Deleting all messages from {Blocked Number}.
THE WIND BLEW IN HEAVY from below, sending a plethora of leaves flying out in all directions. As I knelt down to test the current with my fingers, my boots sank deeper into the muddy riverside.
I sat on the bench in front of the riverbed. Wiping my fingers dry on the fabric of my denim jeans, I took a moment to take in my surroundings. The park was mostly empty, save for a few teenagers
The water always looked pretty this time of year. For a few moments, you stood there drinking in the sight of it.
In the present, I sat alone in front of the serene lake, surrounded by the picturesque beauty of nature. Lush green trees lined the shore, their leaves rustling in the gentle breeze. The scent of damp earth and the distant call of birds created a peaceful atmosphere, contrasting with the turmoil in my mind.
I watched as groups of carefree teenagers ran around, their laughter and joy a stark contrast to the heavy weight I carried in my heart. A deep sigh escaped my lips as I averted my gaze towards the shimmering water.
I wished for the water to possess the power to cleanse me, to wash away the burdens that weighed on my soul. 
The sound of the water rushing past was almost deafening, drowning out the laughter of the teenagers. It consumed my thoughts, leaving me with an overwhelming feeling of dread and isolation. I yearned for the water to offer solace, as if it held the key to absolution and a fresh start, but it remained an unsettling reminder of my own inner turmoil.
I had a vision every time I came here for some peace of mind. It was the same vision every single time. It plagued me every time I found myself in front of the water. It was an image of me, standing at the water's edge, and then, with a deep sense of despair, throwing myself into it, sinking into the abyss and drowning.
As I sat there, the scenery around me seemed to blur, and the vision of my drowning self played on a loop in my mind, a relentless nightmare that I couldn't escape. The lake, which should have been a source of tranquility, had become a symbol of my pain and a relentless reminder of my inner struggles.
It seemed to call to me. I could almost hear the wind carry my name.
Suguru.
The water always looked pretty this time of year. I sat there watching it for a moment too long, wondering what it would feel like to be enveloped by the cold current, to feel it wash me away. 
And, again, the sound of the current grew louder. Deafening. Consuming me.
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a/n: l comment and lmk what u think pookiesss
comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!
I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.
taglist: @missphanosaur18 , @bontensbabygirl, @megumissunshine, @chocoyanchan, @littlelovebug98, @lucisimpongod, @xochyw, @jaegerstan222 , @electro-supremacy, @mellytheteddy, @clover0310 , @soraya-daydreams, @priussy, @insanehumantinker, @staygoldsquatchling02, @nonksity, @hinata7346, @chososwhoresblog, @mindurownbussines , @hearts4sid , @simplefools , @ynjimenez
wanna join the taglist?| mlol; chapter index
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deedala · 4 months
Text
🪐⚡weekly tag wednesday⚡🪐
✨ it's that time again!! lets answer some really random questions for fun ✨
name: deanna🌱
age: noel-aged🖤
astrological sign: 🦂
upon which continent do you reside: north america
tell us how you're feeling right now using 3-5 emojis: 💀🤪🧐🥔🤖
whats your favorite flavor of gum? watermelon mint
whats the last movie you watched? challengers (3rd watch, but i keep watching it while doing other things so i notice new details every time lol)
what was your worst subject in high school? chemistry, i literally failed
whats the job you stayed at for the shortest period of time? i worked at a corporate chain daycare for like 2 months and it was so exhausting and stressful i regularly think i worked there for like 6 months but it was just that much stupid drama packed into 8 awful weeks.
whats your favorite thing to do at an amusement park? i like the mid-level thrill rides. like the thing that spins and lifts you up and down or a roller coaster that doesn't go upside down. (the beast at kings island best roller coaster but will also shake you to within an inch or your life)
what condiments go on top of the perfect hot dog (meat or plant-based)? my vegan hot dog can have yellow mustard on it. maybe onions if they're diced good 👍
cincinnati chili, thoughts? i grew up here so i've had it plenty but not since i was young and i absolutely am fine with never having anything like it ever again.
do you sleep with a plushie? yes, plush round bird and big brown bear! tbh the support did wonders for my shoulder joints
how do you feel about thunderstorms? i would rather not thanks!! when i was a kid i would get stabbing stress stomach pains whenever it stormed, i thought i was dying.
what's the last animal you touched? .... i gave some pats to my neighbor's very sweet dog a few weeks ago. his name is on the tip of my tongue but i cannot remember it right now which is very frustrating!! he's a very pretty boy and he's actually kind of old but looks amazing and im convinced its because my neighbor (who is a veterinarian) has some sort of unnatural animal-care-taking ability
grab the nearest item with words on it that ISNT a book and tell me the final word: "association" on a bottle of hand lotion
have you ever forgotten to do an assignment until the night before its due? yes, why do you ask
and now i invite these precious beans to answer these very random questions or simply accept this 🌼 from the bottom of my heart:
@michellemisfit @too-schoolforcool @darlingian @heymacy @heymrspatel @crossmydna @suzy-queued @jrooc @mybrainismelted @energievie @thepupperino @metalheadmickey @gallawitchxx @mmmichyyy @wehangout @blue-disco-lights @the-rat-wins @loftec @gardenerian @mickeysgaymom @sickness-health-all-that-shit @rereadanon @callivich @lee-ow @palepinkgoat @gallapiech @transmickey @iansw0rld @captainjowl @lingy910y @vintagelacerosette @spoonfulstar @spookygingerr @burninface @themarchg1rl @mikhailoisbaby @sleepyfacetoughguy @whatwouldmickeydo @sleepyheadgallavich @sam-loves-seb @samantitheos @ardent-fox @creepkinginc + anyone else who would like to join in! as always just say i tagged you and i will corroborate 💖
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youre-a-total--poser · 8 months
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Can i request something where young or teen wandanat daughter loves using her powers around home but wanda doesn’t want her too and r tries to get nat to back her up all the time and nay is just like im not apart of this
Don't Use Your Powers (Request)
Warnings: I don't think that there is any but if there is just let me know.
Age: 7
Word Count: 1,248
Requests: Closed
Summary: Read the request and it will explain everything
Requested by: Anonymous on Tumblr
Date: 15/01/2024
paring: Natasha and Wanda
A/N: Thank you for your request I hope that you like it. Wrote this instead of writing an essay for college. Yes, the ending is terrible but we just don't talk about that.
Masterlist
---⧗---
For as long as they could remember since they have been together Natasha and Wanda talked about expanding their family and having a child together
They thought about adoption but what they wanted was to have the whole baby experience including getting pregnant, carrying the baby, giving birth then dealing with it for its whole life until it decides that it wants to move out and look after itself
Since Natasha was unable to have a child they agreed that Wanda would be the one who would carry the baby and after months and months of IVF, she finally became pregnant.
During Wanda's pregnancy, everything went smoothly, and they did many tests to ensure the baby's health. Time went by quickly and before they knew it their little baby was here in the world.
Wanda gave birth to a healthy baby girl and they named her Y/N.
As you grew up there were some concerns about whether you inherited powers from Wanda but the older you got there were no signs of you having any powers that was until you reached the age of 7 when you discovered that you had these new abilities.
Wanda and Natasha were scared that you wouldn't be able to control your powers and it would only get worse but with lots of training from your mom, you picked it up very quickly and learned how to control your abilities.
---⧗---
Your moms didn't like you using your magic at home or in public but that didn't stop you from doing it especially when your parents weren't around to tell you off.
You used your magic to lift two teddy bears in the air and make them dance. You were giggling so loud that Wanda heard you from the kitchen and knew that you were up to something no good.
She walked into the living room and when you saw her you instantly froze. You could tell that she wasn't happy when she had her hands on her hips.
"Hi Mommy," You said not sounding guilty in the slightest.
"What are you doing Y/N you know that you're not allowed to use magic."
"They're just dancing Mommy," You said moving your fingers to make the bears dance again.
"That's not the point Y/N what if someone saw?" she asked grabbing the teddies and dropping them on the floor beside you.
You stood up and waved your hands in front of the curtains and closed them. "There now no one will see." Then you sat back on the floor and picked up on the teddies.
Wanda walked over to the curtains and opened them again and before she could say anything the front door opened.
"I'm home," Natasha shouted.
She walked into the living room and over to Wanda. "Hi babe," she said then kissed Wanda.
"Hi," Wanda replied softly.
Natasha kneeled beside you and placed a kiss on the top of your head.
"Mommy's being mean." You huffed crossing your arms.
"Why is mommy being mean?" Natasha asked kneeling beside you and gently stroking your hair.
"She's not letting me play."
"I never said that Y/N I said that you're not allowed to use your magic" Wanda said
"Same thing" you mumbled.
"You know the rules sweetheart and the rules are to keep you safe," Natasha told you then she stood up and walked into the kitchen and Wanda followed her.
"We need to do something about Y/N," Wanda said watching Natasha walk around the kitchen.
"Why me?" Natasha asked getting out two cups from the cabinet and pouring coffee into both cups "She's your daughter after all"
"I like how she's my daughter when it comes to discipline."
"Well I can't discipline her she knows that I cave in when she does that sad little pout," Natasha said handing Wanda the cup of coffee.
Wanda shook her head and took a sip.
Before Natasha could say anything there was a loud giggle coming from the living room.
"If she's using her magic you're dealing with it. " Wanda said putting down her coffee cup, grabbing ahold of Natasha's hand and dragging her back into the living room.
They found you sitting on the floor with the curtains closed and using your magic to make your toys walk about the room.
"Y/N!" Wanda said quite loudly causing you to jump. "Honestly when will you learn?" She sighed.
"But the curtains are closed," You said pointing at the curtains.
"That's not the point Y/N. When we tell you not to do something you listen and don't do it."
"Can't I just keep playing for a little bit longer then I'll stop?"
"No, you can't." Wanda
You stood up and walked over to Natasha you knew exactly what you needed to do to get her to let you
"Please, mama." You said looking up at her with your big eyes and sad pout.
"No, don't use your please face," Natasha said trying not to look at you.
You got even closer to her, clasped your hands together and brought them up to your cheek. "Just this one time."
"Don't give in to her Nat," Wanda whispered.
"I can't do it." Natasha said then started walking away "I am not a part of this." She called out.
"Every time," Wanda mumbled.
Wanda got down to your level and put her hands on your shoulders. "Y/N I need you to listen to me are you listening?"
You nodded your head" I'm listening."
"Good, now you have to start listening to me and Mama when we tell you that we don't want you using your powers."
"Why?" You asked.
"Because we want to protect you."
"Why?" You asked again.
Wanda let out a frustrated sigh. She knew this asking why game would go on for hours if she let it. "Just say yes Mom."
"Yes, mom." You repeated.
"Good girl now go play with your toys and no using magic," Wanda said ruffling your hair and walking out of the room.
You waited a few seconds before your mom couldn't see you anymore then you used your magic once more to get some more toys out of your toy box and made them walk around but you had no idea that your mom was standing behind you this whole time.
"Y/N!" Wanda shouted.
You let out a loud squeal, jumped up and started running.
"Get back here young lady," Wanda shouted as she started chasing you.
Natasha saw you then Wanda ran past her office. "Run Y/N." She called out.
You ran into your parent's bedroom but you were too slow at closing the door Wanda grabbed you and then started tickling you.
"What did I say about using your magic young lady?" Wanda asked while continuing to tickle you.
You didn't respond because of how much you were giggling.
Wanda walked over to her bed dropped you on it then sat down beside you. "No more using your magic without permission little miss or you will be going to live with Tony."
"No not Tony he's boring." You shouted.
"Right, so are you going to use your magic?" Wanda asked.
"No, Mom, I promise no more magic."
"Good girl." She said then started kissing you all over your face.
After that day you never used magic without permission from your parents but it was a completely different story when they weren't around but let's not tell them that. What they don't know can't hurt them.
Go Here to be added to the new taglist
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jqmalikhsgib · 1 month
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astrology
one
in most stories being the youngest kid means being the sheltered child. everyone would see the baby of the family being favored more than the eldest or middle child. for you, it wasn’t ever like that.
you grew up in an classic middle class family. your mother was a nurse and your father was a detective. your older brother followed in his fathers footsteps. he went to college, worked his ass off, and became an officer.
your sister went a bit of a different route. she decided to be a lawyer. she was damn good at it too.
you on the other hand, you had different dreams. you never wanted to be cooped up in a bubble. your dreams were to travel the world, draw the most beautiful sights you’ve ever seen, meet new people, discover yourself.
when you graduated high school you saved up enough money over the years to do so. you took different jobs just to pay bills and continue to move along.
your parents never thought it was a great idea. they’d always scold you to go to college. they’d get your siblings along in it but it just never worked. you loved your free spirited life style.
you visited your family every once in a while. but after ten years of being free, ten years of constantly hearing the same things over and over, ten years of nonstop get bugged over when you’re gonna grow up and turn your life around, you were tired.
you stopped going to every christmas, every thanksgiving, every birthday, any holiday. you’d come up with some excuse. telling your family you had a shift at whatever job you had.
truth was, you needed to be away. your family back home may not have understood. besides your best friend, you didn’t really keep in contact with anyone.
spencer was the only one who stood beside you. he knew that you had other dreams and aspirations. he never judged you for drifting off and exploring the world. he was the one to encourage you.
“yn, remember what you told me when i had a hard time deciding to skip a few grades? you said that if i didn’t, id always wonder. you told me im too smart to be in seventh grade and i needed to get off my ass and go show those high school idiots how smart i truly am. you’re an amazing artist, yn! i know you can make a name for yourself.”
that was the only thing you needed to hear before you packed your bags, bought a plane ticket, and began your journey. you never regret your decision.
it’s why you’re so glad to be in virginia. getting to see spencer again made you happy. you haven’t seen your best friends since he made it into the behavioral analysis program. you knew spencer was beyond smart. knowing that he was working with the smartest people, fighting crime, and kicking ass, made you proud.
you smile at the guard up front. “hi, im here to see doctor spencer reid.”
the guard asked for a form of identification before smiling and giving you a visitors badge. spencer made sure to let them know you’d be coming by.
when you finally got to his floor your eyes widened with how big it truly was. you never thought you’d ever be here. standing in front of a team full of people who study human behavior.
“yn!?” spencer runs to his friend.
“woah, slow down there pretty boy.”
you opens your arms wide as spencer lifts you up and spins you around. you giggled before he sets you down.
“hi, genius!”
“god, i miss you.”
“miss you too bud. this place is incredible, spence. how do you guys get any work around here done. i wouldn’t know how to sit still.”
spencer just shrugs as he walks the two of you over to his desk. you spot two individuals.
one of them was a woman. she was beautiful. her dark locks were slowly fading to grey, but she definitely rocked it.
the other was a tall, muscular build man. he had a cocky smirk on his face. he was definitely handsome. you can tell he’s a bit of a player but ultimately a sweetheart.
“well pretty boy, you gonna introduce us?”
spencer smiles. “guys, this is my best friend since diapers, yn! yn thats emily and derek.”
you gently waved.
“hi. it’s nice to finally meet you. spencer talks bout you guys all the time. im glad he has someone else to bug besides me.” you playfully hit his arm.
“you must be someone special. reid doesn’t hug anyone. says—”
“it’s safer to kiss? he’s been saying that since we were children. i think he came up with that when he had a crush on our next door neighbor, dawn.”
“hey! it’s an actual fact!” spencer defends.
you playfully roll your eyes. “when are you off, butthead? i wanna look at places while im here.”
“im off this weekend.”
“you’re moving down here?!”
“yeah. spencer constantly tells me how great this place is. it’s gotta be better than nevada if it’s got spencer’s vote of approval.”
“it is a great state. you’ll love it. if you need help finding something im sure i could be of service.”derek flirts.
“thanks. i should probably let you all get back to work. ill—”
“we have a case!” you get interrupted. you slowly lift your head and your heart skips a beat.
he stares at you with a scowl on his face. you assumed it was a permanent one. he was tall, had a beautiful head of hair, his face was clean shaven, his suit was definitely dry cleaned. he looked like a man you’d see in a fairytale. like how you’d imagine prince eric from the little mermaid to look. he was breathtaking.
“i’ll probably be gone for a few days. will you be okays exploring the city without me?” spencer breaks you out of your trance.
“um—yeah. just be safe. and call me!”
spencer smiles as he squeezes your arm before walking away. you give your heart a second to go back to normal speed.
you think you’re gonna love it here.
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so, yes it’s an age gap between them. listen, im not gonna be like some people and say i have a huge problem with age gaps, because i do not!
yes, at times it can be gross. when someone is freshly eighteen and dating someone in their mid to late twenties or older, it’s gross
if someone knew the person when they were a child and begin dating them. even if they’re in their twenties, it’s gross
but as someone who’s 25 and has only dated men older since i was like 22, i don’t see much of a problem as long as they were two consenting adults.
that being said, read it if you want and if you don’t, scroll past it.
reader is 28
aaron is 44
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honeii-puff · 4 months
Text
So me and my friend had a debate and it made me realize how you can see which characters are favored by the creators by how much of their backstory (how the grew up, what happened before s1, their family lives) we know of them.
For this, im going to be using characters that got introduced in S1, as they have had the most time to be added onto (almost a decade), plus Max as a shoe-in.
This list would be: The Byers(+el), the Wheelers, The Hendersons, the Sinclairs, the Mayfields, and the Harringtons.
The Byers:
Joyce married Lonnie and had Jonathan and Will before separating (I don't remember explicitly why, probably because he was a piece of shit). Jonathan and Will live with Joyce with no visitation from Lonnie, and are very close. Joyce isn't the most stable parent, so Jonathan helps around, kind of co-parenting Will. El grew up in the lab, and we see all the stuff that happens when shes younger, which makes sense since she is the main face of the show, so she's kind of exempt from this list.
The Wheelers:
On the outside, they're seen as the perfect suburban family, but in reality, Karen and Ted are in a loveless marriage, especially proven in s3 when Karen is having a weird relationship with Billy. The Wheeler siblings have a normal sibling dynamic of shouting and a love-hate relationship, with (this mainly applying to Nancy) the pressure of having to hold up the "perfect family" image.
The Mayfields:
Max's mom married Billy's dad when Max was young (I dont know if they mentioned what happened to her dad or if i just forgot), after Billy's mom had died. They lived in California until they were introduced in s2. Billy's dad is physically and verbally abusive, which has influenced Billy's actions towards Max. After Billy's death, we know that Billy's dad left, and that Max's mom isn't in a good mental state, leaving Max to take care of herself while also coping with her brother's death.
Now lets compare that to what we know about the Hendersons, the Sinclairs, and the Harringtons:
The Hendersons:
Dustin's dad isn't in the picture (we dont know why), and his mom likes cats.
The Sinclairs:
Lucas has both of his parents, who are in a loving relationship, and he has his sister Erica, who he has a generic sibling relationship with.
The Harringtons:
Rich background, Steve's parents are never around, but it's never expressed as to what his relationship with them is like. (Ik he wasn't meant to be a main character and he was supposed to die in s1, but its been a decade, they could have added onto it at any time)
We can also see this in how their trauma affects them
El and Will both have similar "im the freak" mindsets, which gives them the struggle of being able to make new friends and expand their circle. They also have a lot of trauma from the upside down, and El unknowingly blocked memories of what happened with 001 due to how traumatic they were.
Mike was bullied his whole life, which does reflect in his character, making him quick to react to situations rather than analysing them before responding. His trauma doesn't come from his family, but from other people he has been around. With both him and Nancy, it is shown that they both struggle with telling people that they care about "I love you" (Nancy with Steve, Mike with El), probably from seeing how "love" affected their parents.
Max's mental health had a steep decline after loosing Billy, and it is explicitly shown and a large part of her character in s4, so that one needs little explanation due to how blatantly obvious it is.
Now, Dustin, Lucas, and Steve have all been dealing with the Upside Down just as long as the others have been (besides Max), and little trauma is shown from it.
Dustin and Lucas were both bullied like Will and Mike were, yet it doesn't seem to actually affect their character like it has for Mike and Will. Both also have their share of events happening with the Upside Down.
Steve did go through a character arc, but we don't see how trauma has affected him, especially since he seems to be the shows punching bag. He got tortured by russians, almost got shot by his ex, has gotten into fight after fight for these kids, and got dragged to the bottom of the lake by his ankles and proceeded to get strangled and attacked by bats.
And none of them seemed to be affected by any of it.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
If there are any other ST characters you want an analysis on, send an ask!
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avaetin · 8 months
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This has taken over my life---
@haiseiscute333
“Welcome to the Oscars, live from the red carpet from the Dolby Theater in Los Angeles! I'm your host, Kayla Knowles, and for the next hour, we're going to be talking to the many nominees and presenters of this show-...”
“-....As we prepare to welcome our first guest, remember to breathe it all in, because tonight, we are part of something truly special. Tonight, we gather to celebrate the magic of the silver screen and the small screen, where dreams come true and where Hollywood truly shines.
So, without further ado, let the Oscars begin!”
“- Let’s just take you down the red carpet. As you can see, we have America’s all-time male sweetheart, Percy Jackson, in his black tux, looking good. You can see people yelling, trying to make eye contact with him. With him is America's sweetheart, Annabeth Chase, looking absolutely beautiful in her sparkling silver Gucci gown!”
—-
Comment section from the live video:
Perc4beth4evr: OMG! My parents are finally here! They look so gorgeous together! The perfect golden couple! ❤️❤️❤️ THEDaughter: Took them long enough to come out as a couple! We all knew he was dating her for two years now. ImOfficial: ❤️❤️❤️ BitterDingy: ❤️❤️❤️ HonesToxic: You're all delulus. They don't even look in love. I'm pretty sure he was with someone else. Perc4beth4vr: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
—-
“Thank you, Alabaster. Hope you have a wonderful time inside as well-! Ah! Over there! It's the industry's charming darling, Nico di Angelo! Oh, he certainly lives up to his name - he looks so dashing and adorable in his white designer tuxedo!”
—-
Comment section from the live video: NDAPS: IM JUST A BABY— 😍😍😍 NicosAngel: NICOOOOOO! BABY BOY ASDFGHJKL Cat-astrophe: I HAVE LEGAL ADOPTION PAPERS PLS COME HOME WIV ME NOW Shituation: Everyday, I wake up just to see his gorgeous face 😫
—-
“Wait. Is that… Did Nico di Angelo bring a partner with him this year?”
—-
Comment section from the live video: NDAPS: HOLD UP. WAITWAITWAIT OUR MEOW MEOW BRING A WHAT NOW??? NicoApologist: Our baby grew up so fast 😭 NicosAngel: NOOOOOOOO!!! WHO DARES CORRUPT MY ANGEL?!?!
—-
“Oh my! Nico di Angelo did bring a partner to this year's event, and-! No. Nonononono. This can't be real. Who has the right to look THAT gorgeous? The press is going crazy over them, look at all those flashing lights! They're clearly wearing matching tuxedos as well! Is this Nico's mystery partner?”
—-
Comment section from the live video: NDAPS: HOLY JESUS CHRIST ON A MOTORBIKE! I MUST HAVE ASCENDED TO HEAVEN! IM SEEING AN ANGEL AND A GOD AT THE SAME TIME— Perc4beth4vr: Doesn't that guy look like Percy? Sorrynotsorry: Not everything's about Jackson. Clearly that guy looks way better. NicosAngel: I apologize for what I said. Please corrupt my angel, Mr. Greek God. For you, I'll make an exception. MY ANGEL IS SMILING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM THIS HAPPY 😭😭😭 THEY LOOK LIKE THE PERFECT COUPLE, I DEMAND WEDDING INVITATIONS ASAP 🤧🤧🤧 excuseyou: Did Percy stop at the end of the carpet or was it just me who noticed? troll.on.a.roll: Kayla is us right now. She's fangirling over Nico just as hard as everyone else lol
—-
Kayla: Nico! Wow, you look drop-dead gorgeous! How are you feeling this evening? (hugs him)
Nico: Kayla! You look stunning as well. (hugs her back) I'm doing great! The best, actually.
Kayla: Oh, is it because of your mystery partner? (smiling playfully before turning towards the other male) Are we going to know his name tonight, or are the netizens going to have to do their thorough investigations?
Nico: (laughs) As fun as that is… Let me introduce to everyone, Aeon Oceanus. My fiance. (lifts one of his hands to show off a silver diamond-studded ring)
—-
Comment section from the live video: … … … … NDAPS: Did he say fiance? narrowcrepe: !!! NicosAngel: YUUUUUUS! I CALLED IT! I DEMAND AN INVITATION! FRONT ROW! ILL EVEN BE THE CARPET YOU WALK DOWN ON JUST SO I CAN SEE YOU GET MARRIED- excuseyou: Percy looks constipated hmm… Sorrynotsorry: NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THAT TALENTLESS NEWBIE 🙄 Dundundun: But for real! I sense drama. Like, this guy really looks a lot like Jackson. I won't be surprised if they're related.
—-
Kayla: M-Marriage? Wow! That's amazing! No wonder you're glowing tonight. It must be love.
Nico: Ah, well, it's also my first time bringing a partner to an awarding ceremony. It feels amazing, knowing that from today onwards, I have no need to hide my relationship with my partner.
—- Comment section from the live video: excuseyou: Definitely constipated. Sorrynotsorry: Someone kick this Percy-stan out. —-
Kayla: And how about you… Mr. Oceanus?
Aeon: Aeon’s fine.
Kayla: How are you feeling tonight?
Aeon: I feel like I’m on cloud nine (smiles warmly). Having the love of my life acknowledge our relationship publicly, and having the public know that I am his as much as he’s mine… (pulls Nico close to press a kiss to his forehead) Perfect. Everything’s perfect.
—-
Comment section from the live video: NDAPS: HE SAID THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE OMG!!! EAT THAT PERCABETH SHIPPERS, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR GOLDEN COUPLE, WE HAVE OUR PLATINUM COUPLE! NicosAngel: 😭🥳😭🥳😭🥳😭 Perc4beth4evr: !!! Shituation: The way Nico closed his eyes, and his lips curling to the softest of smiles when Aeon pulled him close and kissed his forehead--- Dear God, I have a new reason to wake up everyday
—-
Kayla: That’s wonderful! All right, I won’t keep you guys any longer. I hope you enjoy the rest of the evening. And Nico, all the best for the awarding!
Kayla: (whispers, but microphone catches it) And all the best for your wedding.
Nico: (laughs) Thanks, Kayla. (walks into the event with Aeon, hand-in-hand)
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catgirlbussy · 1 year
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holy shit i just realised im autistic
i know this seems like a shitpost, and tbf i am laughing at myself pretty hard rn. it's dawning on me at 6 AM after being awake all night, but (if you care, and if you don't feel free to ignore too, have a nice day!) hear me out, cause this genuinely feels meaningful and insightful for me with how my life has gone so far. I spent an hour writing this post in hopes someone might find it helpful too :3c
If you don't wanna read my post pls enjoy this picture of our famous friend autism baby stackin those cans before you go~♪
(source: wikipedia)
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l
like i already /knew/ I was before this moment, but i was thinkin about what i used to do as a kid and wow i am so autistic how the fuck did i not realise sooner. It straight up wasn't until I was already well into my 20's that I started to meet other autistic people online and learned about their experiences and difficulties from talking with them that I realised a lot of things they described matched for me too.
I live in assfuck nowhere so most of my life the only few times that I had met autistic people were like, folks who were nonverbal or whatever, just generally needing direct assistive care, and I never bothered to look things up on my own because I was already inundated with the pressures of growing up, school, mental health, etc. I remember one of the first times I had built up the courage to ask anyone about it, I was in the hospital because of mental health issues. This was in my second year uni, and when one of the doctors assessing me was asking me questions, I said I thought maybe I was autistic. He promptly and with a fair amount of snark told me that if I was autistic I wouldn't have gotten into university.
Thinking back, he was probably just an exhausted, fresh outta school resident with no special interest in psychiatric care (and also just seemed to suck in general), but it was enough that I shelved the idea for another 5 years.
Lo and behold, now I am lying here in bed, just absolutely gobsmacked by the VERY REAL idea that im autistic and like holy shit I feel so vindicated.
I've been on tumblr for just a bit, but I see a lot of folks talking in various neurodivergent circles about their experiences and that's been so wonderful for me. I also have a few good friend groups w/ a lot of neurodivergent folks, and that's been really exciting too.
Like, I'm still processing this cognitively as I'm writing, so please pardon this ill patterned post, but this feels like such a beneficial thing for me. Over time I've adapted a few strategies here and there to help myself accomplish various tasks, but now I feel so empowered to, like... actually figure stuff out.
Even after feeling confident I was autistic, it was this nebulous, floating concept in my head for so long of, "oh yeah im autistic or something idk," that I never really dedicated much effort to finding healthier ways to do things that didn't irk me or whatever. I don't feel like the label /itself/ is what is important to me here, but rather the awareness around why I do so many things in the ways that I do and that it's /okay/ that I do.
I don't want this post to go on too much longer, but I feel it's worth noting that I've fought for years with my family because they didn't understand why I was going about things the way I did. Again, remember, they all grew up in this cloistered hellhole too. But, surprise surprise, the times in my life that I have been doing better than any other are when I felt confident enough to ignore what everyone was trying to get me to go along with and instead just fashioned my own best methods (which also sometimes included informing said overbearing individual(s) to go fuck themselves cause I'm busy doing shit. It's hard for them to argue with me telling them as much when I would be completing X objective well, which is what they wanted in the first place).
I don't want to make this sound like I'm trying to be overconfident, but I mention as much instead as a sign of support for other neurodivergent folks to feel similarly empowered to drum to their own beat. Thinking back, I went from almost failing high school and ultimately retaking a grade to excelling in all my classes. Every single one. I know that's a relative assessment, you got variable difficulty levels, etc., and the grade score isn't important in and of itself, least of all because the school systems here (Canada) are a mess it seems, but just that alone as an idea, within the parameters of a particular system, I went from initial abject failure to thorough and lauded success.
Just think of what so many people could do if they weren't being pigeonholed into formats that absolutely aren't working for them.
I already have a boatload of (genuinely helpful by way of enabling access to proper education and treatment) diagnoses from my history of working with my (very wonderful and genuinely caring and helpful) psychiatrist that match with what I know about the neurodivergence term umbrella like ADHD, OCD, and bipolar, so it seems |autism| will feel quite at home in the group ^w^. I'll ask her about it at my next appointment to see if an official diagnosis has any value versus me just continuing to figure things out on my own.
Either way, I am thrilled right now thinking about the next time I get to shout
"FUCK YOU IM DOING AUTISTIC SHIT"
while an electric guitar squeals and lightning strikes all around me and I make cool stuff happen :3c.
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Hello Akhi! I am your Summer Secret Pal! I hope you enjoy this gift made for you! I remembered Anitha was a Jersey girl (like me!) and I imagined that she would want some memories from her childhood and home as she went off to Penderghast. So, I made this edit, I imagine she'd have this hung in her room!
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About items on the board, from top left:
Since Anitha loves nature, this is a picture of a vista from her home state of NJ, as well as a photo of her at Von Thun Farms when she was a toddler. Von Thun's is about 20 minutes away from Princeton, and it's a very popular place for families—there are lots of photo ops all around, and this is one her parents took advantage of! The leg cast was after the motorbike accident when she was 10 years old. Her love of nature is reflected in how she decorated it.
Anitha knows she can do anything, and she's known it since she was a little girl. So a childhood hero, the yellow ranger, is here to remind her of that.
Her parents' nickname, "Ani," is prominently displayed to remind her of their love and support.
The bisexual flag made with pictures from nature seemed perfectly fitting for her!
If she grew up in Jersey, she definitely spent some time at the Jersey Shore (which is NOTHING like it is on the TV show, I might add! lol). In the upper right corner, there is a cluster of photo memories and a few tickets (used for boardwalk rides/games) as souvenirs. The photos are of an amusement pier, seated at a boardwalk game, and playing in the sand.
Right in the center is a picture of Penderghast, and just under it, her acceptance letter! This represents her future, surrounded by her past which brought her here.
Lower left is from her Princeton High School graduation, the logo of PHS, and her HS graduation tassel.
Lower right (this is one of my favorites!) If she was raised in the Hindu faith and lived in the state of NJ, she had to visit BAPS Swaminarayan Akshardham. This is the second-largest Hindu mandir in the world, and it's an absolutely beautiful place. Anitha knows there is a type of magic here, as well. This is about 30 minutes from her home in Princeton, and I imagine she would have had many visits here. I imagine that is her foster mom in one of the photos.
I hope I did a good job of capturing Anitha's childhood memories, and I hope this brought a smile to you today!
@choicesfandomappreciation
Heyy @jerzwriter!!
Really thank you for this amazing board for Anitha (she also thanks you btw). You really BEAUTIFULLY captured her life before Penderghast, even better than I can imagine it!
I really loved how the significance of each item on the board has been described and you have done an amazing job at showing what a unique individual Anitha is! Im honored that you are my summer secret pal, and I hope to get to know you better!
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erzsebetrosztoczy · 7 months
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saw your requests are open. If its not ignore this .
can u do AC Valhalla hytham x reader ? Maybe reader is evior sibling? And hytham is falling for them but is shy to confess . They fall in love and basim is like :
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Amongst hidden ruins
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I am so sorry for the long wait I was havig life and death situation with uni I didn't consider that would be there but I hope I can make it up to you by offering a 3 part slow burn?? Ya girl is trying I promise🙈🙉🙊
Pairing: Hytham x reader
Genre: fluff, awkward fluff, idiots in love
Warnings: none, except if you count me not knowing what im doing???
Note: Shy Hytham is canon to me, let he be nervous and giddy with his crush🤌❤️. Also, Basim with his wolf dad energy 100% supports his adopted son like "i teach you how to be an assassin, now i teach you how to rizz, boy" and Eivor finally can live through what Sigurd needed to, aka being the older sibling and they will quickly find out why Siggy has eyebags lmfaoo
Here's part 2
Being related to the leaders of the Raven Clan was not easy. Especially when it came to two battle-hardened brothers. From the dawn of your life, you had to have someone by your side to keep you from being "hurt." First came the cautionary orders of your father Styrbjörn, which you cannot remember unless it is from Tekla's evening stories. Taking in and raising a newborn baby with two troublemaker squirrels aged a lot on your fathers, even during the early winters of your lives. Then, as you were growing, Prince Sigurd's sense of duty began to surface, and who else could he begin directing, rebuking, and protecting than his youngest sibling. Most of your childhood thus consisted of tramping in your eldest brother's heels, holding his hand, and obeying when he forbade you something. And just when you thought your troubled years would cease to exist as you grew up, Eivor's pestration began.
"I'm just saying it doesn't hurt to call Randvi next time. More eyes see more, more blades cut more." Eivor continued as he dodged those who came across him, trying to catch up with you, who was trying to get rid of his brother with wide steps. You rolled your eyes grumbling as you picked up a bucket from the riverbank, heading towards the stables.
"Eivor, last time, I just went riding for an hour. To the neighboring fields. If you climbed up the top of the Longhouse you would have seen it!" You patted it over your shoulder as you trampled up the path of the settlement.
"Yes, but Tove reported that Saxon bandits are passing nearby lately and-" "Eivor, I don't need a nanny! I can defend myself. I might as well show you how good I am." You raised your voice a little harder than you wanted as you spun back, defiantly shouting into his face. Eivor backed up with wide open eyes, raising his arms to the surrender. 
"Hey, hey, you have no reason to yell at your brother, little one. I just want the best for you." Eivor's voice sounded suspiciously metallic, sarcastic. You knew he was almost certainly  taking your words half-heartedly.
"And if you want any good for yourself, you'd better shut your mouth before I stuff it with Gunnar's footcloth!" Your fingers and fists almost turned white from the effort you used to hold the bucket close to your chest – you had to concentrate very hard not to hit your brother's head with it.
"You talk like you have a chance to beat me." Eivor chuckled to himself in a pitiful grin.
"Listen here, you smartass, Sigurd entrusted you with the leadership of the Clan, not that some blister-headed—"
"I think it will be enough of spreading curses for today. Otherwise, Valka won't be able to make enough talismans for all of us if you keep going like this." In your big arguments, you didn't even notice that Randvi walked next to you. She looked at the two of you with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe a retreat would be good.”
"But Randvi, don't you hear that Eivor runs to me at the slightest crack of a stick to see if I'm still alive? Can't you see that even though I've had the same training as him in our childhood, he acts like I'm a defenseless baby? " You turned to Randvi in desperation, not even paying attention to the water, whether it would stay in your bucket or not.
Your sister in law looked back at you with a pursed mouth. Please, be the more mature one. Reflected in her gaze.
Why do you always have to take the shortcut, for the sake of peace?
You nodded with an annoyed sigh.
"Alright." You grunted in agreement turning back to Eivor, but your flaming stare could have almost scorched him. "Next time I'll tell someone to come with me when I leave home. Okay?"
Eivor's face softened, his eyes sparkling with joy as he grinned in satisfaction.
"Perfect, little sister." He almost sang it as he straightened his back and walked off as if he had done his job well.
"I'll drown him in Tekla's beer one day, you'll see." You fumed at Randvi as you watched with narrowed eyes your brother’s leave.
Randvi laughed hearing this, and patted your shoulder. "Don't be so angry with him, he really only wants good for you." She said apologetically, voice full with kindness.
"His desire for good crushes me. He suffocates me with his fear. No one could live that way." You answered defiantly, speaking from your heart. When will the moment finally come when you can live your life for yourself and no one else?
You sighed dejectedly, then lifted the wooden bucket to your side again. "..I'd better reload this." You muttered, then waved goodbye to Randvi and turned back towards the water.
It seemed to be a long day ahead of you. 
That night you felt like all the joy had been drained from you. Despite the feast, time passed grimly. Despite the music, singing and celebration, you couldn't cheer up - the meat felt tasteless in your mouth.
Since what happened in the morning, you didn't even want to see your brother, specifically for that reason you went to the other side of the longhouse, where you won't even accidentally come under Eivor's watchful eye.
You wondered what you should do to make your brother's overbearing subside.
"Is this seat up to take?" A question came to you behind your back. At first it crossed your mind that it could just be Eivor, that he can't even leave you alone while eating, but then you realized that the voice asking the question sounded much softer than your brother's thunderous one. 
You turned around and found yourself facing Hytham's slender figure. ​He wore his usual white caftan, but now the hood did not cover his lush brown curls. In the darkness, the light of the fire showed a deep brown iris of warm honey, his skin golden from the dancing embers.
It was as if the summer night itself was standing before you.
"For you I am gladly saying yes." You smiled with relief, motioning for him to take the seat beside you.
With a chuckle Hytham took a seat beside you and as he was settling, his shoulder and elbow rubbed against yours.
"Oh, sorry!" He gasped in fright, immediately pulling away from you, offering a decent distance.
"Ah, don't even  worry about it." You waved it away, turning to him. "And what's new in the office? Have you found anything recently with… Eivor, that would advance your research?" You asked, leaning on your elbows.
Hytham shone a timid smile towards you, shaking his head.
"I'm afraid I can't give you exciting news, there haven't been any new leads for weeks. Eivor has been too busy lately, taking care of the clan's affairs with the surrounding allies, to be thinking about that right now."
Pursing your lips, you pondered; your attention falling on the beer mug in your hand, you didn't even have time to notice the warm, longing look with which Hytham stole a glance at you. 
You couldn't notice it - but Basim did; from across, beside the fire. 
"And if I helped instead of Eivor? Trust me, I'm just as good at tracking as he is!" It came out of your mouth suddenly. The thought that you could finally break away from the prohibitions of your brother, from the small life of the settlement, had an invigorating effect on your soul.
"Uh…well…I don't know." Hytham was suddenly speechless, fidgeting shyly, glancing around the hall. "I don't think your brother would be happy if I took you."
"Eivor would only be happy if I was sitting on the shelf in his room until Ragnarök." You rolled your eyes, poking at your brother in annoyance. "Please Hytham! I promise I'll be of use to you!" Leaning closer to him, you betted your eyelashes so sweetly, gazing up at him in the hope that his heart softens for your request. 
But Hytham's heart no longer needed cunning tricks to seduce him.
An indescribable force has drawn him to you since his arrival in the North. The man stood mesmerized by your beauty and as the months went by, as he got to know your pure soul, bright mind, and sharp tongue more and more, he grew a great passion for your person.
Young fierce love or it was a heart-wrenching, bittersweet yearning;  he didn't know yet – Hytham was only certain of this: that your nearness filled him with hope and happiness.
And that was enough for him.
"I— I can  Basim when he might not need my help, and if he releases me, we can go…if you really want to, of course." He agreed with a warm smile on his face.
Sheepishness filled you under his penetrating gaze –  your heart pounded, and slowly the heat of the fire seemed cold compared to the warmth of your skin, as you could only look at your mug while blushing.
When did the young man from the far east start to interest you? When did you notice his charming smile and delightful gaze? How many times have you melted by his eloquence, gentle speech, patience or care? Why did you feel you could never tell Hytham this, because of Eivor? That your brother would definitely stand in your way, even if only for a spark of happiness.
Perhaps better at rest; to live unchanged; as in shame and regret.
"So be it, Hytham." You agreed, now in a much more subdued tone. "If you have come to an agreement with Basim, please tell me immediately!" You promised him as he bowed in agreement.
Maybe you were given a chance for a way out after all. Maybe you'll finally manage to break free from your brother's wings. Maybe if you start on this unknown path, you can find yourself in someone else's arms.
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