#but when i recognize a word or something
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oh my fucking god there's like three french songs on this planet that i like. but i can't fucking listen to them because the /language/
#my posts#languageblogging#no im not just hating on popular things to hate on them#usually#but fucking hell it sounds so bad i don't understand why it's so popular#if there's many voices singing at the same time or better yet#no lyrics at all then yeah i can ignore it#but when i recognize a word or something#i cant get immersed in the music because i hate it#LIKE HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE THINGS LIKE THAT#it might be because it sounds very... round? idk how to explain it but it does#and they also eat half their words g o d i hate#i guess it also has accents and some sound better probably#or it depends on the lyrics themselves when talking about music#i just think its insanely overrated just based on sound alone#but maybe my ears are wrong lmao
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i was on a "thinking about ryuk" kick earlier and. i get the appeal of saying he's the only one who sees light in his entirety — it makes perfect sense, he's the one who light monologues to about his grand plans, he's the one who light stays with practically 24/7 for five years — but i don't think it's completely true?
ryuk to me has this tendency to assume that light is straightforwardly malicious (see: he thinks light was lying when light says he'll avenge his father if soichiro ever gets killed by kira, he doesn't really get why light wants to do things like reveal his location to L until light explains he wants to eliminate L entirely, he takes the "i wish i had wings" thing seriously as though it's supposed to be part of light's Master Plan instead of a little quirk that light was clearly feeling vulnerable about, he's surprised when light isn't willing to kill sayu in the second arc). like there's real fondness for light in there as well, he congratulates light for getting into college for instance, but i don't really feel like ryuk has ever. understood him fully. he's trying, he gets better at it over time, but he does have a bias.
and i think, also, that this is because ryuk has another tendency to assume that light is just like him.
which makes sense, because light is the one who offers up "i was bored, too" as a genuine point of commonality between them. and then ryuk jumps to "you know, you'd make a really good shinigami!" and "hey light do you want the eyes" and then at the end "we eased each other's boredom for quite a while." he does notice when light is acting weird and tries to adjust his viewpoint (he goes ! when light starts doing his "i've never been so humiliated in my whole life" thing) but given that he only figures out light genuinely cares for his sister when he refuses to sacrifice her, after five years of watching this whole family dynamic, i don't think he ever actually gets there.
which is. sad. it's really goddamn sad. you know you're really fucked when even the demon haunting you can't figure you out
#ryuk#light yagami#death note#light's obviously an unreliable narrator#but i think ryuk kind of is one too#anyway something something everyone around light sees only the facets they want to see#misa recognizes light is selfish and cruel and only ever uses her but she pretends he's her knight anyway#L recognizes there's something off about yotsuba light but pretends he's still kira anyway#(something to be said about how he does drop that assumption halfway through but still. to L he was/will be kira always and forever)#and ryuk recognizes light is horribly fucking lonely but he pretends he's just a maniacal dictator anyway because it's more entertaining#something something. idk. i'm saying words recreationally here.#anyway when unchallenged i think ryuk kind of sees light the way the stereotypical death note redditor does
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The bourgeois or "exploiting class" doesn't inherently include the person who gets their nails done biweekly, or the disabled person who has a carer, or the guy who got a $70 video game for full-price, or the person who relies on medication (yes even the ones you don't think they "need"), or anything else like this. None of these people will, on average, have the ability to exploit workers by means of ownership or whatever.
While you are busy fighting with fellow workers, you are still being exploited by your boss, by capitalism, by (potentially) not having healthcare, by being overworked and underpaid, and so are they.
#politics#feel like this wording isn't satisfactory for me but fuck it we ball#used bourgeois because i think as a colloquial word it's recognized but like...#...i dunno i think some people use it to mean 'person who can do [x]' even if they quite literally own no means of production#like the idea that you're exploiting a worker by agreeing to a service they provide isn't what bourgeois means#if i paid a carer to care for a disabled person they aren't being exploited by that disabled person...#...HOWEVER that carer absolutely can (and probably will be) exploited by the systems of power (eg their boss or capitalism)#perhaps it's too late at night for me to be posting about this but it's something that bothers me!#*especially* when it comes to disability and other groups already exploited by marginalization 👍#if your leftism percludes the disabled (including the terminally and profoundly) or the elderly or the queer or so so much i don't WANT ITTT#saw a disabled person i follow lament how afraid they were to have a carer out of fear of Being a Bad Exploitative Person#and they obviously need one and that makes me so fucking angry to know that they are needlessly suffering
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking “oh boy she's gonna love this :)”#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say “i'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're well”#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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Hooboy ok. If you are a Cynthia/Diantha fan, you need to do yourself a favor and read Getaway Car by @ranger-kellyn if you haven't already. No, I'm serious, go fucking do it. Yes, right now. You already read it? Excellent. Now go read it again. GO.
Idk how to articulate how hard this fic has rocked my brain. The author has an incredible way of detailing the world and character interactions and has an exceptionally good understanding of why people do what they do. I wish I had better words to explain just how engaging this read was. This is one of those fics where, when I finally caught up, it had me going "well now what" because it had consumed my brain so thoroughly and I immediately wanted to turn around and start reading it all over again. Kind of like when I played Red Dead Redemption 2 the first time and other games just weren't as satisfying for a while after bc it set the bar so high lmao.
Basically, this is the first two pages of a short comic I have been very, very slowly working on for the past couple months based on a script that is used within the fic. I've always wanted to do a comic of my own but have never taken the plunge for many different reasons. Kellyn has been kind enough to let me use their script to work off of. In the fic, both Cynthia and Diantha perform in a crime drama TV show side by side and that show is what this comic is based on. For further context, go read the fic. : ) Hopefully, I will be able to stick with this project and y'all will see the next couple pages in another month or so lmao
#kellyn i apologize if my words are overwhelming just say the word and ill shut up#just when i really like something i very much wear my heart on my sleeve and i recognize i can come off as intense#phaesporiashipping#cynthia and diantha#diantha#professor carolinas granddaughter#champion diantha#champion cynthia#pokemon cynthia#pokemon diantha#completely unrelated but i first started reading this fic while sitting in an ER waiting room so i always think of that lmao#fits the vibe somehow lmaooo
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rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo
This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.
I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.
This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.
I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.
#... we will not be addressing that i'm a dead blog#no one say a WORD about my inactivity for 4 years this isn't about that /lh#also if anyone tries to get smart about “romani isn't a race” i don't care and you can shut up.#it's an ethnic and cultural identity. and it should be portrayed correctly.#ESPECIALLY for a character like *victor von doom* of all people. like it is fundamental to him.#i would've included panels of the comics mentioned but most of them use the g-slur and i don't wish to encourage that here#like listen i don't think you need to be a comics fan to be an mcu fan. they're so divorced from each other atp#nor do i think the mcu owes complete comic accuracy. but i do think you should at *least* care when characters are whitewashed.#look. i really don't want this to be a debate on if rdj's return is good or not#i've been frankly baffled at how many old mutuals are excited but. whatever if you want him back i get it.#but it shouldn't be like this. not at the expense of a different character.#this whole thing made me realize i'm *far* more jaded and turned off to the mcu than most of you guys are.#which is fair you can still be an mcu fan. if it brings you joy i'm so happy for you#but how does this like. bring joy i don't get it.#this is soulless. it's uninspired. it's done purely for shock value.#i occasionally get asks to this blog about why i left and asking me to come back#and i get it. i *want* to come back.#but i don't *care* about the mcu anymore. this is not the franchise i fell in love with.#i don't recognize what once meant everything to me.#winteriron will always hold a special place in my heart (as will tony stark)#but like. i just don't have love for it. and it sucks that this bullshit from marvel actively kills the love i had.#this sours tony stark to me. i'm sorry but it does. because was it really worth this? is this what his legacy has become?#this does cheapen his legacy btw. like without question. it turns him into a cheap cameo reference. heart of the mcu my ass.#my fandom circles have *massively* changed#i'm now entirely surrounded by comics fans bc my primary fandom is dc comics. that's what i'm up to these days#and the difference was actually baffling to me. everyone i follow now is *pissed* about this. comics twitter is so mad.#and then i see ppl on here excited and i'm just genuinely surprised this is something you want. i don't get it.#i don't say that to be rude. i just don't get it. how is *this* actually something people *want*.#do i still care about marvel? eh.#i like winter soldier comics and i could give a comprehensive rec list. and i read some other characters i deeply enjoy.
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Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.
#I can't remember the last time I took a Deadpool comic and genuinely had a good time about it#I hate the direction they took with his character and it's so disrespectful that I don't even talk about I don't even think *any* Deadpool#fan genuinely talk about it because were so tired of his kids characterization we all just collectively decided to ignore whatever hell#marvel through at him#but rant aside#it's just–#I am not sure if comic books are fun anymore I don't even know who I am making content for half of the people on my notes haven't touched#comic book and aren't pretending to do so#people who read the comics tend to be so mean or bitter about it that even if you follow most will be angry about something#comic or fan related and I don't know if I can blame them but following that is draining#and as much as I was trying to be a good sport about it you make a post about comic book characters and#and the overwhelming response is 'I don't read the comics but'– following up by a take about them that doesn't even recognize any core#aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them#you can't recognize them on tue cannon you can't recognize them on the fannon#and no matter how engaging you try to make content about the fandom people just–*refuse* to read it. And then– they *refuse* to tag fannon#content as fannon#and *refuse* to leave either#Yes we are all having fun but how can a character tag be so so filled with people who have no idea of who they are#how can a character can be properly loved and take care of and have content that respect them if no one makes any attempt to *know them*#and it's disheartening because *comics* are supposed to be fun *fannon are supposed to be fun*#but for aome reason it's really *really* hard to have fun here anymore#I created this page to share my love for the characters I care about and see more content of people who care about them too#but I can't even *find* people who care about them any more and when I do they're all so angry and upset– And I *cant even blame them*#I just... I don't know why I am doing this anymore or for who I am doing this anymore#sorry to vent but it's been a while since I haven't been had a genuinely good time™ enjoying comics#I don't think even people who write those comics enjoy those comics or care about those characters#Sometimes feels like everyone is projecting on those characters rather than *writing about them*. And I can't find them anymore#fanfics used to be about love petters to characters who you love#nowadays seems like a competition to see who makes more funny words with tropes pre-written since 2007#vent
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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Dont mind me:3
I- Tsu.. You didn't need to... But.. Yeah, uh... Thanks..😅💛
(no pressure, but if you can read the tags, I'd be happy! and that doesn't just apply to tsu but to everyone)
#I know this is a sign of affection. but sometimes it gets in the way a bit when you go to see how the content is “doing”..#for me. it's not necessary to reblog the same post so many times. even if you really like it. show affection behind words. for example.#because I don't necessarily care.#but reblogging so many times (more than once or twice) gets in the way a bit when I go to check how the blog is#growing and getting recognized...#don't get me wrong. I'm really happy that you like my content.#it's really an honor to receive so much affection and I would like to reciprocate too!#but if I'm going to ask you for something. try to reblog just once or twice now. okay?#I really like you. tsu. and I appreciate all the affection. you are very special to me and I love seeing you enjoying my things.#so I apologize a thousand times if this makes you sad. but I needed to say and ask this..#If you don't want to do it. that's fine. but at most trying (who knows. reblogging three or four times) would be good. I would be very happy#! and I would even like to receive a “like/heart” from you. seeing you always liking and reblogging. it's really great.#so I would really appreciate it if you could follow my suggestion and I hope you have a wonderful day/nigh! ^^#tsutsuji#my friend <3#send asks#send me asks#asks#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style#mel creator#my oc character
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As I'm (finally) starting to make my way through Dressrosa, I am struck by how important belief is to Usopp. It's such a fun thing for a character notorious for lying to care about. When Usopp chastises Caesar's minions for doubting Luffy to his face, he tells them that Luffy believes so much in the strength of his crew they have no choice but to prove him right. A very similar thing happens with the Tontatta, they believe so much in the lie he tells that he is forced to act.
It's so fascinating to me how much weight Usopp puts into belief. He fights on his home island because he wants the villagers to keep believing they're safe. He fights Ms. Merry Christmas and Mr. 4 because he believes Luffy will be Pirate King. Even in Water 7, the external circumstances and breakdown in communication aside - Usopp wants to keep believing in Merry. To accept her loss is to betray that belief (and to an extent to betray his belief in his own ability to do this thing they have all embarked on).
#I can't word it concisely but there's also something so wonderful about Franky believing him about Merry's klabautermann#There's something here about Usopp- a storyteller- recognizing the importance of stories#Of hope and faith even when he has a hard time holding on to those things himself#god usopp#usopp#water 7#one piece#dressrosa#punk hazard
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transmascs stop pretending that transfems are untrustworthy sources for transfeminism challenge impos- fuck i didn't even finish and you already complained about our terminology
#i really hate the expectation to know theory in these shit communities#they're barely communities it feels like on here trans people are unified by strict categorization#constantly infinitely expanding definitions but treating them as immutable and emergent from the core of reality#rather that words used to describe things we experience or the positions we are placed in my transphobic society#we're unified by who is mean to us more than wether or not we actually like each other#and so we must always be ready to litigate our position in these spaces#because they must be Definitionally justified rather than just having a real community where we're treated like human beings#i wish we still had our elders... i wish we weren't so adverse to learning humanly#i wish i could escape the weird black and white fandom thinking but it worms it's way into every community here now#this is why i keep lamenting old t4t spaces#we weren't there to argue theory#we weren't opposed to learning it in fact it was useful and joyful to share with each other#to help describe our experiences and understand where we've been placed in the world#but that's not why we were there#we were there for community to be kind to each other#now it's nothing but a bunch of teenage fandom tme people arguing with fake versions of trans women they invented in their heads#while we just hide in the background wondering if the word community means something different now#or if we're really just so evil to our very cores that we were foolish to think we could have community in the first place#sorry just#needed to vent this shit has been in my head for a while#i wasn't in a place to go to gay bars or trans events when i was first here#i couldn't have local community so finding one here with transfems who loved each other#it was so important to me#and learning that i could cater to that small but kind audience in my sex work is what made me finally love doing it#before then i'd been doing it purely cuz i couldn't get any other job#and before that because i was forced to#there's a lot of trauma wrapped up in my work for me but i healed from it largely because of my sisters i found on here#but i don't know when it went away but it did#and now it feels like we're left in a massive crowd of screaming voices#and i don't recognize any of them anymore
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also just in case anyone only heard about the protest at the synagogue in LA but not about the fact that the synagogue was being used to host a real estate event that illegally sold land in the occupied west bank (and in fact referred to selling land in the "best anglo neighborhoods in israel" which... oof), and THAT was what the protesters were there for. to protest the illegal sale of occupied land (both domestically and internationally illegal btw. domestically illegal because these sales are racially discriminatory, and internationally because they are the sales of illegally occupied territories) not because it's a synagogue and they are antisemitic.
because while the optics of protesting a synagogue are never good, the story was so fucking disgustingly misrepresented and no doubt fucking terrified jewish ppl in los angeles because it was being referred to as a pogrom.
you can read ifnotnow LA's excellent statement on this here.
#let me say since i have jewish family in LA#that i have to reach out and see how theyre doing but my cousin is very pro palestine and not a dipshit so#this definitely freaked me out when i heard about it esp after Dagestan#but then i saw it was pro-palestinian activists#including jewish and israeli community members#and not like far right fascists or something#unfortunately there were fascists there#those insane culty messianic actual jewish ppl not the jews for jesus christians lol fyi#these freaks saying the n-word and shit#also fyi some people have said they recognized these guys from the fash counter protesters at ucla#idk that hasnt been validated tho#anyway just... try to read more thoroughly about these things#free palestine#israeli occupation#israeli apartheid#genocide
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#okay so i think i haven't told this story to you guys but i've been thinking about it a lot waiting for the surgery day#(oh i guess content warnings for injury and animal death. idk all of this is pretty heavy stuff)#but when this dog was a puppy he broke his leg. quite badly actually#and for the following six months i was Convinced that both he and i had literally DIED#and the world around us just failed to recognize the blazing red Game Over text superimposed over my line of sight#so we - literal zombies still bleeding from our mortal wounds - had to perform the movements of being alive#this got better when the puppy was finally healed#but the flashbacks. the hallucinations. they followed me for years and years and only slowly faded away#and now when the dog is sick again - with something completely unrelated - those are coming back again! what fun!#and i don't know if i've ever been as scared of anything as actually for real losing this dog in a traumatic event#if he just dies this wednesday#like. probably he doesn't. most dogs survive the operation these days they say#but just the small chance of something going wrong#i don't know if i'll survive if he doesn't. how can i keep going if he doesn't#i'm scared you guys. this dog is the literal light of my life#(i was going to name him with the finnish word for light but that didn't stuck in the end. didn't make it any less true)#sussitalk
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i love when sparks hq post something and it's very obviously russell in heather mode
#im standing on the sidelines like 'kick his ass baby i got your flower'#for context some person anonymously posted in the official sparks fan facebook group going off abt sparks 'using slurs in their songs'#when they are referencing one (1) song that was never officially released or recognized (motorcycle midget which was from some movie)#and everyone was going off in the comments until finally sparks hq poste ld something#but like some of the wording... the phrasing... heather i know its you
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Going to bed. Tomorrow's Halloween! It'd be so nice though if I could finish the outline for the book I wanted to write in November. Don't know if I said it here, but I'm doing NaNoWriMo in November but like, not officially lol. Just a writing challenge with my sisters. I want to start something new. But, so far, my outline is so-so. I do have an outline for the sequel to this other book, but I just want to work on something new. Like a very self-indulgent paranormal romance or something like that.
#I want to query the next book I write too#I'd like to try traditional publishing next#Currently I have one SciFi novel out there in the querying trenches#but sometimes I feel like it's never going to find an agent#it's a stand-alone but that guy is hefty at 109k words#for a debut author that may scare away literary agents lol#I love self-publishing because of all the freedoms it offers#but I also want the benefits of traditional publishing#like having more reach#and being recognized as a writer#as in you may not people (esp family) immediately dismissing you as an author when they hear you are indie published#I've had family members immediately ask me how much money I make when I say I'm a writer after they ask what I do#Do I ask them hey how much money do you make? if they ever mention their job? Nope. Because that's a weird and intrusive thing to ask#writing#me#I want to keep self-publishing the books I know are very unlikely to find a home in the market lol#Like the one I linked The Crystal Conjurer#That one is admittedly not very good lol#It's wordy and the first book I ever wrote in English#so it might not just be wordy but also grammatically weird Idk lol#I know for sure the pacing is kinda slow and it's because this book was just something I wrote entirely for fun#I wasn't thinking about the market or attention spans when I wrote it#Just wanted to have fun
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Sorry man but this poll kind of makes me mad feel free to ignore me im sure the op meant no harm but it's like a representation of the stupid overtly tame generalization of mental illness that I see on this site sometimes, all of the main choices listed are all "positive" traits it just feels like. I dunno. For the most part I was never really truthfully considered mature for my age or a pleasure to have in class a lot of teachers hated me and made fun of me for my inattentiveness. when I was considered a "gifted kid" in elementary school it was only because I was just naturally analytical and had interest in dogs and read excessively about dogs and just in general talked A Lot and they just saw me reading a lot and ran with it but once they realized Oh I am actually stupid I was removed from the gifted program. Even when I was considered "gifted" and was offered to skip a grade it was decided it was best for me to stay where I was because "while I was book smart my social skills were developmentally behind" or whatever. These terms just feel catered towards those who were able to do well in school and blend in the best with normal people and the "other" option is just thrown in to acknowledge annoying bitches like me. Or maybe I'm reading to far into this but do you understand where I'm getting at
#and even when these more positive terms were used for me it was for reasons I never understood#im not sure how to word it like. these ''positive'' words i eventually came to realize were just codename for when i somehow ended up doing#something that was considered normal#anything else then id just get called a fat ass r word#i dont know if this is hypocrytical of me to say as im not professionally diagnosed with anything and i recognize that in itself#is an advantage#but do you see what i am getting at#whatever. better things to put my mind towards. I am going to play games now
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