#but what is it like to look in the mirror and be afraid of the person you see staring back at you

[lambentblood]

[ID: A series of images arranged within the post in a collage format.

Image 1: Text reading, "I have buried you in every place I've been. You keep ending up in my shaking hands."

Image 2: A still of a dark theater, from "I Saw the TV Glow." It is captioned, "Someone buried alive and suffocating to death."

Image 3: A still of Isabel's face, upset. It is captioned, "She's buried under ground."

Image 4: All lowercase text reading, "I want to go home, I want to go home, but what I mean, what I'm grasping for, is not a place, it's a feeling. I want to go back. But back where?"

Image 5: An oil pastel illustration of 2 pairs of hands, holding each other. The illustration is mainly blue and pink, though streaks of other colors are layered throughout.

Image 6: A still of Tara holding Isabel's hand.

Image 7: Text reading, "I lost sight of myself so long ago that I'm hesitant to try to find myself. I'm afraid to begin. Existing sometimes gives me heart palpitations. I'm so afraid to be me."

Image 8: A still of Isabel's open, empty grave at the football field.

Image 9: Text on a brown, neutral background, from Disco Elysium. It reads, "2 - I want to go back to the completely different world. The see-through world with you."

Image 10: A still of Tara's side profile in blue lighting in the planetarium. It is captioned, "$50 to bury me alive."

Image 11: Text reading, "How did everything go so wrong? How can I get myself out of this mess?" After a line break, "...Do something. Do something. Do something."

Image 12: A still of Tara from the waist up in the planetarium. It is captioned, "I apologized for the whole thing."

Image 13: A still of Isabel hurrying through the arcade at work. It is captioned, "I'm sorry about before."

Image 14: Part of a screenplay. It reads,

"SPIKE: Her hands. DAWN: I was gonna fix 'em. I don't know how they got like that. SPIKE: I do. Clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how. (To Buffy) Isn't that right? Buffy looks at her hands like they belong to someone else. BUFFY: I... Yes. I had to do that. SPIKE: Done it myself."

Image 15: A still of Tara in the planetarium. It is captioned, "Gasping for air, rain pouring down on me."

Image 16: A still of Isabel looking in the bathroom mirror at work.

Image 17: Text that reads, "Love is the only force that allows us to hold one another close beyond the grave. That is why knowing how to love each other is also a way of knowing how to die."

Image 18: A still of an analog TV burning.

Image 19: Text reading, "From the ashes, I rise. I am blooming into something beautiful." The words, " I am blooming into something beautiful," are highlighted.

End ID.]

On graves, and resurfacing from the ashes (in tandem)

justin vernon, i saw the tv glow, julie bunton, hannah lock, catherynn m. valente, disco elysium, buffy the vampire slayer, bell hooks, melody lee

[d1rtypuppy]

i had the most profound gender euphoria i’ve ever experienced today. i was applying oil to my chest so i could take off my transtape in the shower, and i was just kind of scrolling on my phone, passing the time a little. occasionally i’d glance at myself in the mirror while waiting a few minutes to let the oil sit.

i saw my growing body hair, my light dusting of stomach hair that continues to fan out towards my sides and the thickening happy trail creeping downwards, and i felt so overwhelmingly excited that it’s starting to thicken and spread.

suddenly, i had this thought… “i love being me.” and honestly, i’ve never felt that way before in my entire life. i started crying genuine tears of joy for the first time ever. i could barely stand to look at myself in the mirror for a few minutes, but not because i hated what i saw. no, this time it was hard to look at myself because i was overwhelmed to find that i didn’t hate what i saw.

then i found myself wondering if this is what transphobes are so afraid of; a 20 year old trans kid reduced to tears of joy on a random saturday afternoon in front of his bathroom mirror because things are finally starting to feel right, my body is beginning to feel like my own? because for once i want to live?

it has been a very long time since i have imagine a future for myself but i’m starting to.

what a beautiful experience being trans is. no one will ever take it from me. death before detransition.

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

Summary: What happens when two best friends try to get along under the same roof? You've been living with Jungkook for three months now, but your cohabitation is still a challenge for you. He continues to live like a real bachelor without following the rules you agreed upon from the beginning of your decision to live together. Should you find a compromise or should you find a new place to live?

Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hosuk.

🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

📕 Number of part: 14/?

🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words. Tags will be added as the story is written.

👩🏼‍💻 From the author: It's supposed to be a Christmas present. However, I thought that there were some unpleasant things in this part, so it should not be a gift 🫢 That's why I'm posting it now! Let me know what you think of this part 😶🤗

🫂Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs . You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you very much and love you🥰💜

⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

→ Part 1 → Part 2 → Part 3 → Part 4 → Part 5 → Part 6 → Part 7 → Part 8 → Part 9 → Part 10 → Part 11 → Part 12 → Part 13 → Part 14

Part 14. A gift for Christmas.

Jungkook holds out his hands to you. In one of them is a bottle of plain water, and in the other he holds pills. You take the water and the pills with a small smile and take them. Jungkook watches you carefully.

"Thank you." - You say briefly, smiling again as you swallow the water and the pill. Jungkook smiles back. You stare at the water bottle as if it were too interesting to start any kind of dialog. You feel awkwardly. From everything: the fight, the sex that happened after of it, and the fact that you take birth control pill to avoid getting pregnant by your best friend.

You see Jungkook's fingers grabbing the bottle and placing it on the spesial board near the seats. You look up at your friend and see his satisfied expression. You look at him awkwardly. Jungkook leans over and kisses you on the lips. He puts one hand on your cheek, and you reflexively put yours on top.

He kisses you without his tongue. Carefully, gently, tasting your plump lips. You are enjoying this moment as much as he is. You seem to be the one who does not want to return to the previous dialog and situation. You wish this moment could happen as late as possible.

However, you can't kiss forever. Jungkook pulls away from your lips, but he doesn't moves away and strokes your cheek with his thumb.

"How are you feeling?" - He asks gently.

"Apart from the fact that I can barely sit up, I'm fine." - You say plaintively, but you smile. This makes Jungkook laugh. He fixes the hair that is falling over your face.

"I'm sorry, baby. I warned you. But you didn't listen to me, and you asked me to make you scream. You know I keep my word." - Jungkook argues cheerfully. He leans down once more and kisses you on the lips. Then he lets you in and starts the engine. You need to get back to the hotel.

The car drives almost silently. Jungkook is watching the road, darting his eyes between the mirrors. You are silent for a while and you don't know if you should start talking again. You are afraid that you might fight again. But the question is still open. You haven't decided what to do about the fact that Jungkook is hiding everything from you.

"Jungkook." - You call his name to get his attention.

"Yeah, honey?" - He turns his head to you, but continues to watch the situation on the road.

"I want coffee, can we stop somewhere to buy some?" - You ask. You suddenly feel like drinking a whole glass of flavored cappuccino.

"Sure. I'll buy you one. Do you want just coffee or something to eat?" - Jungkook asks with concern.

"No. Just coffee." - You reply shortly.

"No problem." - Jungkook says and re-routes the car to the nearest coffee shop.

The car pulled up smoothly to the cafe-drive in a Japanese Starbucks and stopped at the order window, and Jungkook bought two cups of cappuccino. One for you with syrup amaretto and cinnamon, and one for himself without any additives.

After receiving the two hot cups, you finally headed to the hotel. The aroma of coffee filled the car. Jungkook threw his drink on the holder between the seats. When you received yours, your palms immediately warmed up from the pleasant warmth. You took a small sip, and the sweet taste of the amaretto mixed with the spicy note of cinnamon, causing you to smile faintly.

No matter how much you tried to delay the moment, it was worth talking. You decide that you need to find a compromise in this situation, because Jungkook wants you not to be angry with him. And you're also exhausted because of the constant fights you've been having.

"Kook..." - You call out to him again. But this time you don't wait for him to speak. You get straight to the point. "Let's decide what to do now. I want everything to be good between us. We've been fighting a lot lately and I don't like it..." - You start to speak.

You see Jungkook lightly raise his eyebrows and bite his lips again, mocking his piercing. He holds the steering wheel tightly with one hand and reaches for the cappuccino glass with the other and takes a sip. “Here's the deal. You don't have to tell me anything more about yourself. I promise I won't ask you anything else. If you want to tell me something, I will always be here for you. But in turn, I will also stop sharing anything with you. I will tell you exactly what I think is necessary." - Finally, you finish and take a sip of coffee, tasting the apricot and cinnamon on your tongue.

You feel a look on your face. Jungkook turned to you and looked at you intently. You looked into his eyes with determination. You stared at each other for a few seconds, as if in an unequal fight.

"It doesn't work that way, baby." - He says turning back to the road. You protest at his words.

"What do you mean? Why? It seems to be the only way we don't fight." - You complain, trying to hold back the emotions that instantly fill you.

"Because they're different things." - He says softly, but you know he's serious. You are puzzled and furrow your brows.

"I don't see the difference." - You say with protest in your voice. "If you're not going to say anything, I won't either. Either we're both honest, or we're both keeping our secrets to ourselves."

Jungkook brakes the car at a traffic light. He braked too late and drove over the line, so he can't see the traffic light itself. He leans over the steering wheel to see when the light turns green.

"I'll know everything about you anyway, even if you don't tell me anything." - He says in a casual voice while continuing to stare at the traffic light.

"What do you mean?" - You didn't understand. "You're going to spy on me? Then what makes you better than Doohoon?" - Jungkook looked at you for a moment, and you could see him burning with irritation, and then he turned back. The light turned green and he continued to drive.

"I'm not going to spy on you. But you should know that this is bullshit - Doohoon won't let you go that easily. I'm just going to stay by your side as much as I can." - Jungkook states. You laugh ironically. Yeah. Of course you are. ‘As much as I can.’ He's lying again.

"As you wish." - You say. "But I think it's best this way. You keep quiet and I keep quiet. You talk and I talk." - You repeat this and assure him that it will not be any different. You are silent for a long few seconds, and your voice breaks the silence once again. "What do you say, dear?" - You smile sweetly. Jungkook takes a sip of coffee and sees you smiling sweetly. He knows you and you are a sly fox. But is he going to promise you the truth again and then break it? If he does, the consequences could be worse than the fight yesterday and today. He thinks and makes decisions. He will do his best not to hide anything, but he will also do his best to keep you safe.

"What do you want?" - Jungkook asks you to clarify your opinion. "Do you want us to share everything or not tell anything?"

"I want us to talk to each other and share everything without exception. Because that's what I've been doing all along. But if that doesn't work for you and you realize that you can't do that, we should respect each other's personal space." - You still leave the choice to Jungkook. He thinks about it a little longer and finally agrees.

"Okay. Let's be honest with each other." - He says, but you can't believe your ears. You thought for sure he would want to keep quiet.

"Really?" - You ask again, still in disbelief. Jungkook smiled.

"Yes. I'll try to be as open with you as I was before." - Jungkook promises, and your heart flutters. Yes. He used to share everything with you. Back then, you got along so well and never fought.

You can't control yourself with joy. You move over quickly and kiss his lips. Jungkook is holding the wheel and is slightly dazed by your desire to kiss him. You kiss only his sweet silken lips. You put gratitude into this quick moment.

You sit up straight, and Jungkook drives the car as if mesmerized, with a puzzled expression on his face. What was that? Did he just feel butterflies in his stomach? Fuck...

***

The sun has already set. There was only an hour left before the Christmas party started. You were almost ready, you just had to put on some lipstick and get dressed. You decided that you would do your own makeup because you didn't want to paint your face too much. Your hairstyle would be simple long waves that would cascade over your shoulders. Now your hair has been pinned up high, and before you go out you will style it properly.

You decided that dark evening makeup with a little eyeliner and brown and gold eyeshadow would work best with your dress. You remembered that you had a wonderful matte brown-caramel lipstick. It was somewhere in your backpack, separated from all the other makeup products.

Before you arrived at the hotel, you remembered that you hadn't bought shoes and tights. You had a coat that you could wear over this dress. It's not a problem that it's cold today because you'll only be outside for a few minutes, you don't want to get cold. So when you talked, you told Jungkook that you needed more clothes and of course he bought them for you.

You left the bathroom and went to your bedroom. You found your backpack lying on the chair and started rummaging through it. You didn't hear Jungkook come in. He walked over to you and watched you desperately trying to find something.

"Will you help me?" - You heard your friend's voice. You looked at him and froze at his appearance.

He was dressed in a black shirt that was buttoned up except for the throat. He wore a vest over it. Black classic pants and a leather belt around his waist. He was wearing socks and no shoes, later on it’s would be some kind of patent leather shoes or something like that. His hair was parted in a parting on his head. His hair had volume, and the strands from his bangs fell nicely to the sides. He looked damn hot in that totall-black look.

Jungkook noticed you staring at him and smiled playfully at you. You continued to look for your lipstick in your backpack in embarrassment.

"With what?" - You asked as you continued your search. Jungkook couldn't get enough of your reaction. His ego rose higher.

"Help me put on my tie." - He asked with a smile on his lips. You realized that this was going to be a moment of mockery and praise of your friend's appearance.

You put down your backpack and turned to Jungkook. He was smiling slyly and looking at your beautiful face. You took the tie from his hands, lifted the collar of his shirt, and threw it over his head. Jungkook tilted his head so that you could comfortably throw the tie over it.

While you were fiddling with the button and the collar, your friend was looking at your makeup. Black arrows on top of brown and gold eyeshadow, lush mascara lashes, blush. All that was missing was lipstick. You will put it on your lips, but Jungkook thought you didn't need it because you were already beautiful. He also noticed that your blush that was caused by his look.

"Are you blushing because of my beauty?" - Jungkook asks you playfully. You roll your eyes to your forehead, which makes your friend laugh out loud. He steals his arms around your waist and pulls you closer.

"Jungkook! You're making it hard to tie it properly." - You protest, but you don't mind the closeness. The main thing is that he doesn't forget to close the door this time.

"I'm really so handsome, maybe you're already wet just looking at me?" - Jungkook purrs. God, he shouldn't talk about your wetness. Because you need to get ready, time is running out.

"Shut your mouth, Jeon!" - You say angrily.

"Shall we test it?" - He asks, and his hand is already hiding under your robe. But you manage to intercept his hand, stopping to tie his tie.

"Don't even think about checking anything right now. Because if I don't get ready in time, you'll be explaining to everyone why we're late." - You warn him. You hold his hand with yours, but Jungkook doesn't think to stop. He pushes his hand harder so that you can't hold him.

"No problem. I'll explain." - He says in a low voice. You're already really getting wet at his tone. But you won't be having sex again tonight. And definitely not right now.

"Are you really that insatiable?" - You ask seriously. Your hand tightens on Jungkook's arm. He's stronger than you, he could get to where he wants to go in one go. But you don't have time for another round, so you hold him as tight as you can. "Seriously, Jungkook. We don't have time for this. And you're not so handsome anymore that I'm wetting over the sight of you in a black shirt." - You say mockingly. Jungkook hears you say this and grabs your buttocks with his free hand. His fingers dig into your skin, creating a pleasant pressure. You are caught off guard.

"You like to provoke me so much." - He said, almost against your lips. "When did you become such a liar?" - Jungkook smiles. He's went too far, you're really leaking now. You will have to change your panties. But you can't tell Jungkook, because for some reason you think if you do, he'll fuck you on this bed behind you.

"When have I ever lied to you?" - You ask in surprise. Your surprise is not real. "I'm serious. I still have to put on my dress, shoes, and lipstick. It's time-consuming." - Not to mention you need to change new panties. Jungkook doesn't seem to hear you.

He ignores your protests and touches his lips to your neck. You freeze from the warmth of his lips. His gentle kisses all over your neck make you tingle. He releases his hand that you were holding and pulls open the robe that covers your neck and chest. He pulls away from your skin and sees how you've skillfully disguised the hickeys he left on you today during sex in the car.

"Did you use foundation?" - Jungkook asks as he touches the hickeys.

"Yes. You're lucky I had concealer, otherwise I'd have been don’t go at best." - You lament. Jungkook runs his nose along your jawline, inhaling the scent of your skin. He's intoxicated by the light scent of cherry blossom he inhales. It's probably it because it's a very popular scent in Japan. After a shower, your skin still holds that scent.

"Maybe you didn't need to disguise it?" - He murmurs into your neck. He caresses your jaws with his nose, then gently kisses your neck with one lip. You tilted your head slightly so that Jungkook could have good access to your neck. You closed your eyes, enjoying his caressing lips.

"What do you mean?" - You grumble. "Did you want everyone to see that I was marked? You even left them on my chest so big that my dress barely will covers them." - You said with reproach, but gently.

"So what? Then everyone will know that you belong to me." - He says, stopping kissing your neck. You open your eyes and see his face a few centimeters away. You smile.

"Do you want everyone to know that I belong to you? Your friends will be most interested in when exactly I began to belong to you." - You say sweetly. You're happy to think that Jungkook wants to tell everyone that you're his. But you're not even his girlfriend. You're his friend. Or who you are to him right now?

Jungkook was upset and you saw it. He let go of your buttocks and put his hands on your waist.

"Sometimes your mouth..." - He says, a little offended. You laugh and raise your hands to your tie. You have to finish what you started, find your lipstick, and finally get dressed. Time was running out.

Jungkook really felt bad. He thought you were too beautiful today. It was annoying, because there would definitely be some dick who would stare at you. It pisses him off that someone's bullshit eyes will be evaluating you. He wants to be the only one who can see your beauty. He wishes you could be hidden from the world. Jungkook wants you to belong only to him. Damn it, and you're hasn't worn that dress yet. He remembered the neckline and was worried about whether you'd freeze in it.

You finished with the tie and Jungkook let you go. He sat down on the bed, and you started rummaging through your backpack again.

"What are you looking for?" - He asked.

"Lipstick. I had it here somewhere." - You searched and couldn't find it. It made you mad. You turned your backpack over and dumped all the contents on the bed.

The lipstick fell out and you saw it. Grabbing it in your hands, you saw a black box containing a gift for Jungkook. You had completely forgotten about her with all the drama that had happened in the last few days. You picked it up and looked at Jungkook. He, who had been watching you all this time, understood what you were trying to do.

"Jungkook." - You said softly. You walked over to him with the gift in your hands and standing in front of him. "I completely forgot, It’s good that I went to find mylipstick." - You held out your hand with a beautiful black box with a golden bow. "Merry Christmas." - You said. Jungkook stared at the gift box in your hand. He didn't expect you to have a present for him. Even though you give him gifts every year for Christmas. Why did he forget about it now? He also had a gift for you, but he planned to give it to you after the party.

"What have you got for me this time?" - He asks. He sounds excited. Jungkook looked at you, then picked up the box. His fingers briefly touched your hands, and this simple touch made your heart speed up slightly.

"Something that will always remind you of me." - You say with a shy smile. Jungkook looks at you while opening the box. You'd better not be so cute, or he'll be unable to contain himself, and to hell with everyone waiting for you two.

Finally, when Jungkook unboxes the gift, he sees what it is. Inside was a Calvin Klein watch. The black dial with thin golden hands and minimalist design matched his style perfectly.

"Is this... a watch?" - He asked, but his voice sounded more confused than questioning. He took it out of the box and held it carefully in his hands as if it were some kind of precious treasure.

"It's a limited edition…" - You explained. "I thought you should like it." - Jungkook looked at you, his eyes full of something deeper than gratitude. He looked at his watch again and then back at you.

"Are you serious?" - He whispered.

"Seriously." - You nodded. "You're going to wear it and think of me every time. Not just once a day to find out where I've been and what I've been doing." - You couldn't help but hit Jungkook. But he ignored your words and put the watch down next to him and pulled you close. He sat you on one of his legs and kissed you gently on the lips.

"Thank you." - He said quietly, his voice sounding a little hoarse. "This is the best gift I've ever received." - He kissed you again. "I have something for you too, but I was planning to give it to you after the party." - Jungkook admitted.

"Then you should do that. I have to hurry." - You say, getting off his lap and heading to the bathroom.

***

A Christmas party organized by Jimin's friend takes place in a luxurious restaurant in Niseko, in the heart of the Japanese Alps. This place has an unforgettable view - the huge windows offer a panorama of snow-capped mountains and winter landscapes, creating a magical atmosphere.

Your entire company arrives at the restaurant on time. All the guys are very handsome. Jungkook, whose image you've already seen, has completed his outfit with a black jacket with silver snaps and matching patent black loafers. Your gift, a limited edition watch, fit perfectly on his wrist.

Jimin wore a dark green velvet jacket, a black shirt, and similar black pants with perfect arrows. His look was completed with patent leather shoes.

Taehyung chose a navy blue suit made of velvet fabric and a burgundy shirt. His look was complemented by a bow tie.

Hoseok chose a more relaxed style: a striped jacket with gold accents, a black turtleneck, and stylish boots.

Jin wore a white and silver suit with a thin chain around his neck.

When they all saw you, they just started complimenting you. You wore a champagne-colored dress with a neckline and train. It hugged your figure in a perfect way, making you look very attractive and beautiful. On your feet, you put on high golden heels with thin straps, the same ones you with Jungkook came back for. They were in perfect harmony with the jewelry on your wrist and ears.

Jungkook almost boiled over when he saw the looks on all his friends' faces. God, he only had to endure only one evening.

Inside the restaurant, everything was elegant and sophisticated: marble floors, stylish furniture, luxurious tables covered with white tablecloths with gold patterns. People in expensive evening dresses are talking and laughing, and the air is filled with the light scent of fresh flowers and festive food. The music playing in the background creates an atmosphere of relaxation and festivity, slightly drowning out the conversations.

You feel uncomfortable. This is all so pretentious for you. You've never been to an event like this before and it's definitely not the kind of community you're used to being in.

Jungkook was walking next to you, and you were holding his elbow. You looked at him and saw how serious he was, and most importantly, how calm he was. He felt your gaze and smiled slightly.

"It's like we're in a movie." - You said with a smile.

"Why?" - Jungkook laughs. Yes, in a movie, and in the crime genre.

"Because it's so pretentious. I've only seen it in movies." - You admit. Jungkook laughs even harder.

"It's all because of Jimin. He has almost all his friends like that." - Jungkook says.

"He's such a simple guy. I would never have thought he would hang out with people like that." - You say. Just then, Jimin, who was a few steps ahead of you, turns to you two.

"Let's go meet and greet Kazuhiro Yamada." - He says to the two of you.

Yamada was a middle-aged man with cold, attentive eyes, dressed in a stylish black suit. His presence in the room instantly attracts attention. All the guys greeted Kazuhiro warmly, with the exception of you and Jungkook. Jungkook had never met the man in person, but he knew what kind of person he was from his friends.

You were introduced and you acted as confident as you could. But all these people around you, and especially Kazuhiro himself, made you feel tense inside.

Kazuhiro complimented you after unceremoniously looking you up and down. You thanked him shyly, squeezing Jungkook's elbow tighter. He, in turn, was holding back his emotions as best he could. So he the first dick to openly devour you with his eyes. Jimin, seeing Jungkook's eyes, decided to calm his friend down.

"Yes, she is indeed a beautiful Kazuhiro. She's Jungkook's fiancée." - Jungkook was taken aback, but since he was a professional at keeping his emotions in check, his face didn't show any confusion, which is more than you can say. You opened your mouth, but almost instantly closed it.

"Really?" - Yamada asked. "What a pity I don't have a chance." - Kazuhiro said with feigned disappointment. He spoke Korean well, by the way. Although everyone else spoke to him in Japanese, including Jimin, only when it came to introducing you and Jungkook did they switch to Korean. You blushed again, and Jungkook's jaw muscles pulsed.

"Yes. You don't stand a chance, dickhead," - Jungkook thought. But he just smiled tensely without saying anything. He looked at Jimin in mental gratitude. Jimin winked at Jungkook.

After you were introduced, champagne was served and you and Jungkook went to Taehyung and Hoseok’s place. The guys were talking to each other and you were just looking around. Sometimes you would hear broken phrases like "they have to convince him", "we have a better position", "the appointment time is tomorrow".

The music was loud and interrupted the general din. Your eyes ran over the people around you. The women were dressed up and wore expensive jewelry. Men in stylish suits look businesslike. There are also young people around your age, even children.

You look around at these people and catch a few studying glances. You feel very nervous and uncomfortable. You wonder why these people invited Jimin. And how did you end up here?

Some more time passes. New guests arrive at the restaurant. They all go to greet the host of the party first, and then disperse around the room. As you take another sip of champagne, you notice the new guests. You cannot believe what you are seeing.

Doohoon is wearing an expensive dark brown suit with a chain. His hair is perfectly styled, very similar to Jungkook's. He is walking hand in hand with a girl. She is tall, but despite the fact that she is wearing heels, she is still shorter than Doohoon. Her figure is perfectly emphasized by a black silk dress with a deep V-neck and an open back. A thin string of stones stretched from her neck to her waist. It was clear that she was Korean.

Doohoon immediately caught your eye. When you made eye contact, he immediately put on that awful, stupid smile you had come to hate.

You reflexively grabbed Jungkook's sleeve, unconsciously seeking protection. Jungkook looked up from his conversation and saw that you were scared. He followed your gaze and his anger knew no bounds. The asshole is here. But what puzzled Jungkook the most was the girl walking next to Doohoon. He looked at her and couldn't understand why she was here. What the hell this girl do there?

Doohoon and his companion greeted Yamada. You could see Jimin and Jin, who were standing next to Kazuhiro Yamada, staring at Doohoon. He shook hands with them in a low-key greeting. You turned away the moment you realized that Doohoon and his girlfriend were heading towards you.

"Jungkook, he seems to be coming to us." - You turned to your friend and saw that he was staring at them almost without blinking. You raised your eyebrows wondering what was going on.

"What an unexpected meeting, isn't it?" - You heard Doohoon's voice behind you. You had been looking at Jungkook the whole time. You noticed that he was looking at someone.

When you turned to know who he was looking at, you realized that he was looking at the girl in the black dress. She was also looking only at Jungkook. Their gazes made you feel nauseous and your heart beat faster.

"Well, hello, champ." - She says casually. You feel like you've been struck by lightning. What did she just call him?

Jungkook doesn't react to her words or greet her back. He stares at her a little longer and then turns his gaze to Doohoon. Taehyung and Hoseok, who were nearby, watched quietly.

"What a thing to do. To fly so many miles from Korea and see the same faces." - Doohoon says. You look at him with disdain. "Hello, candy. It's good to see you." - You want to snap back at him for calling you that again, but Jungkook interrupts you.

"What's she doing here with you?" - He asks dryly. You freeze at the sound of his voice. It's so hard and cold.

"Do you see how round the world is, my friend? Ha Young was once your girlfriend, but now she's my companion." - Doohoon says casually. You're shocked. This girl is Jungkook's ex? No wonder he's looking at her like that. But why the hell is she here with Doohoon?

"I asked, why is she here?" - Jungkook asks irritated. His eyes are filled with pure anger.

"That's not nice, Jungkook. Where are your manners?" - For the second time, Doohoon ignores Jungkook's question. "Candy, I'd like you to meet Ha-young, she's my friend. Ha Young is Y/N, she's a friend of mine and Jungkook's from school." - The two of you finally make eye contact. You look at her indifferently, and she looks at you with interest.

"Nice to meet you." - She says sweetly as she extends her hand to you. You stare at her hand for a few seconds and don’t shake it.

"I can't say the same." - Ha Young smiles and takes her hand away. "Are you spying on us Doohoon again?" - Now your eyes are on your former friend. "You couldn't just wait until Jungkook and I got back to Korea. Why did you fly all the way here?" - You said gloatingly. Taehyung and Hosuk look at each other, this conversation could end badly.

Doohoon laughs at your words. He looks down at the floor and then back up at you.

"Sweetie, I actually flew to Japan to work and establish relationships with partners and oversee the transportation of very valuable devices. Because I have information that someone is trying to steal them." - He says and looks at Jungkook. Jungkook can barely control himself. That fucking bastard. He will strangle him with his own hands. He knows why Jungkook is here and will try to stop him from taking the devices. But it was this bastard who stole them from him.

You watch this with your eyes and feel the tension cover you all. You can almost physically feel it. Just in time, Hoseok intervenes and stands between Doohoon and Jungkook.

"Hey Doohoon, why don't you just go and enjoy the party?" - Hoseok suggests. Doohoon looks over at Hoseok.

"Yeah, buddy, it looks like we're not going to have a normal dialog. Have a nice evening." - Doohoon says to all of you. "Ha Young, let's go." - He calls his girlfriend and leaves. Jungkook also turns around and wants to leave, but his ex stops him. She grabs his arm and he stops. You see this and think you're going to die of jealousy, but your face is emotionless.

"Kook... I'd like to talk to you." - She says in the sweetest voice in the world. You feel yourself start to tremble. Your heart is beating against your chest with incredible force.

Jungkook pulls his hand out almost instantly. He turns and looks at his ex.

"We have nothing to talk about." - He says coldly.

"There are." - She replies desperately. "I wish I could explain to you why I'm here." - She says in a desperate voice. You watch this picture and think you've had enough. You want to leave. Too bad the only way is through them. When you pass Jungkook, he's the one who grabs your hand. You stop when he doesn't let you go. You look at him and your eyes radiate anger and irritation.

"Don't move away from Taehyung and Hoseok." - Jungkook orders you. This confirms that he is going to talk to his ex-girlfriend after all. You pull your hand out and say aggressively.

"I don't need bodyguards. I can take care of myself. Make fun to talk." - That's the last thing you say and you walk away. Jungkook wants to follow you. He can't leave you alone knowing that Doohoon is so close. It doesn't matter that there are many people here, he will be able to hurt you if Jungkook is not there. Just as he's about to follow you, Hoseok stops him.

"Talk. We'll be there for her." - He taps Jungkook on the shoulder and he and Taehyung leave Jungkook with Ha Young.

You walk quickly and don't see anyone in front of you. You're overcome with anger, jealousy, and abuse. How did this piece of shit get here? Is he really some kind of stalker? Shay brought Jungkook's ex. Of course, in typical Jungkook fashion, you know nothing about her. She's beautiful, and Jungkook such looked at her that way. Did he really love her? Why did they break up? Could there still be feelings between them? These thoughts tore at your head. You wanted to go somewhere. Somewhere no one could see or hear you.

Before you knew it, you were at the bar. You sit down on a stool. You think you should get drunk. It might make things easier. Hoseok and Taehyung stayed in the hall. They decided that they would watch you from a short distance.

You ordered a cocktail with strong sake at the bar and drank it in one gulp. The bartender who made the cocktail for you was shocked.

"One more!" - You say in Japanese. The sake is strong and you instantly feel the alcohol spreading throughout your body. You decide to drink the next one more slowly. When you get another cocktail, you savor it slowly. You're glad that Hoseok or Taehyung didn't sit down with you. You really want to be alone.

You take your phone out of your purse and scroll through your Instagram feed. You think about posting a couple of stories and photos to your profile and showing off the local beauty of Niseko. Some time has passed.

Your phone distracted you because you didn't notice someone sitting next to you. When you turned your head a little to the side, you saw someone sitting next to you with a peripheral vision. Doohoon. He's sitting next to you again. No one is around except the bartender who hands him a shot of whiskey.

"Grieve, candy?" - He asks with a sweet smile. You are a little nervous about his presence. You're scared, because this man has been watching you. Why he always somehow ends up in the same place as you? You look around at the people and try to find someone familiar among them. But all your friends are gone. Jungkook is nowhere to be seen either.

"You shouldn't look for your friends. Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you." - Your ex-friend says with care in his voice. He says it so sincerely that you believe him for a moment. But in reality, it's not his words that make you relax. It's the thought that there are a lot of people here, people such people in front of whom Doohoon will not even touch you with a finger.

"I'm not afraid of you. I've never been afraid of you. You know damn well I can kick your ass." - You say colorlessly. Doohoon laughs. He takes a sip of whiskey and sets the glass down on the bar.

"I know." - He says. Doohoon is silent for a few more seconds and then his voice cuts through the silence. "You're such a beautiful tonight." - He says dreamily. You look at him sharply. You don't need his compliments.

"What do you want?" - You ask tiredly. "Why did you follow me and Jungkook?"

"I felt like I had to." - Doohoon replies, and you don't understand what he's talking about.

"What do you mean?" - You ask another question to understand what he's saying. Doohoon remains silent. He looks at the glass of whiskey in his hand and then raises it to his lips and takes a few small sips.

"Does he fuck you well?" - He throws out his question instead of answering yours. You're stunned and frozen. You remain silent, not wanting to answer him. It is absolutely none of his business.

"I think you like it. I know what all the girls who had sex with him said. Every single one of them says he's amazing in bed." - Doohoon says, laughter escaping his lips. "His ex, Ha Young, told me that too. She said no one ever fucked her better than him." - You hear these words and your insides tingle. Your internal organs feel like they're being stirred with a spoon. It becomes difficult to breathe. Why is this idiot telling you all this? You decide not to say anything in response. Because it seems that if you open your mouth, you'll vomit on Doohoon from the anger and jealousy that's making your head spin. You cover your mouth with the cocktail.

"Y/N!" - Doohoon calls to you. You turn your eyes to him. "I wasn't stalking you. I've liked you since high school. That's why when I found out you were living with Jungkook, I was scared for you." - He says. You again freeze, but this time at his words. You think you're crazy or something. Does Doohoon like you? Since high school? It can't be! And why is he scared of you living with Jungkook? Because he's afraid you're in love with Jungkook and he doesn't have a chance?

"Why are you scared?" - You ask, ignoring his confession of affection. He laughs bitterly because he noticed that you didn't say anything about it. You're always thinking about your Jungkook. Then he will tell you who your "best friend" really is.

"He's got you so blinded by good sex that you can't see what kind of person he is. He is so good at hiding who he really is. You have to applaud him for that." - Says Doohoon. "When I found out you were living with him, I thought I would just protect you from a distance. But when I found out you were fucking, I was shocked. I'll be honest with you, my heart was broken. I knew that if you guys were sleeping together now, you might fall in love with Jungkook. But he's dangerous. Because of what he does and who he has become, you could be in danger. Therefore, I decided to appear at this time." - You hear all these words and you can't understand why Jungkook could be dangerous to you. He's your Jungkook. It is Doohoon who is dangerous to you, as Jungkook said, not the other way.

"What the hell are you talking about?" - You get angry. "How is he dangerous to me?" - Doohoon is dramatically silent. He can't wait to see the look on your face when you hear what he has to say.

"Did he tell you what he does for a living?" - Doohoon asks you with fake desperation in his voice.

"He said it's some kind of security service that protects influential people." - You answer. "If you're trying to tell me about the guns, that he uses them, I know. That doesn't make him dangerous to me." - Doohoon is glad you don't know who Jungkook really is. His star time has come. He puts on his most dramatic voice.

"Y/N, he works for the mafia. He's Namjoon's attack dog. The boss of the RUN NOIR clan." - Doohoon says. He sees your eyes and can't get enough of the frightened look in them.

"The mafia?" - You repeat quietly. Doohoon nods to confirm your words. You suddenly laugh. Loud and hysterical. "You. Have you fallen off the wagon, you idiot? What the fuck is the mafia?" - You ask. Doohoon raises his eyebrows.

"Don't you believe it?" - Dohun asks you in turn. "Y/N it's definitely true. I'm telling you. Namjoon is this man who is constantly demanding money from my father. He controls all the transit points and ports. That's why I know it well and I'm telling you for sure. Jungkook is working for Namjoon's clan because them used to come together to extort money from my father." - Doohoon is lying to convince you. You hear the name Namjoon and remember Jimin saying his name on the phone. He called him the boss. Does this mean that Jimin is also working for the mafia?

You instantly put everything together in your head: the guns, the expensive car, the expensive clothes, the expensive hotel with the presidential suite. The constant concealment of the truth, his absence for three years and now almost for days, strange bruises on his body, wounds on his face and hands. All this suggests that Doohoon is telling the truth. And as icing on the cake, you remember Jungkook's words during today's quarrel. "From myself." - He said when you asked him what he was protecting you from by hiding everything about his life.

You couldn't move, unable to say anything. You were so shocked that you were speechless.

"You see everything yourself. He is dangerous to you because he tortures people, extorts money, or worse, kills them." - Says Doohoon . You don't say anything because you don't know what to say. Doohoon touches your hand. Five minutes ago, you would have rejected his hand. But now you sit there completely devastated. This is not what you dream of hearing on Christmas.

"Candy, I have a Christmas present for you. Let me show you." - Doohoon says and takes your hand. You feel like you are in another space.

Doohoon is leading you by the hand between people and no one is paying attention to you. No one sees him leading you somewhere. Not Jimin, not Taehyung, not Hoseok, not Jin. None of them see you next to Doohoon.

You don't know how much time you spend on the road. You just go. When you get to the room, it's the room in front of the toilet, and you see a picture that finally kills you. Through the clear glass of the door to the room, you see Jungkook standing next to his ex-girlfriend. She leans to kiss him. And she did it on your eyes.

"Merry Christmas." - Doohoon whispers in your ear, but you can't hear him. Because the noise in your ears and the frantic beating of your heart drown out any words.

↰ Previous chapter ● Next chapter ↱

[julymusings]

I just can't get the idea of soulmate!jason where you share scars out of my head. Jason is a canvas of scars. We all find them beautiful and wouldn't judge him even if we were held at gun point.

But imagine you were getting those scars at the same time he was... it would be hard. Of course you are worried about your soulmate, but when you wake up with a permanent, very purposeful J branded onto your face, can you really tell me you wouldn't be embarrassed to go outside? Afraid of meeting your soulmate who seems to be either a criminal or in a very dangerous victim situation? Would you not be even a little angry that now your face is ruined?

(I know there is makeup, but we are ignoring that for a second)

Yes, you share these scars with your soulmate and somewhere along the line you'd find peace with them. But in the moment when you look in the mirror and find an autopsy scar... I can only imagine what you would feel.

Oh, and poor Jason. He would never be able to forgive himself. He probably wouldn't even realize he has a soulmate because if you get a scar he wouldn't notice it beside all of his.

This isn't a request. I just wanted to share my thoughts and hear yours.

Oh absolutely. I’m wondering exactly how far the scarring would go— would you have burns from the explosion? Do you wake up covered in bruises from the crowbar? A bump on the bridge between your eyes from a broken nose?

I imagine you’d be pretty resentful toward the universe if you woke up with a J branded on your face and marks from injuries that aren’t yours all over your body. And finding the autopsy scar?? Grieving someone you don’t even know? How would you recover from that? Especially so young; Jason died at 15, so you’d probably be around the same age. Imagine going into school like that. Teenagers are awful. They take one look at you and assume you’re bad news, because why else would you look so roughed up? Stay away from people like that, their parents whisper through side-eyed fear. Whoever your soulmate is, you hate them at least a little bit.

And if you follow the storyline where the pit heals all of Jason’s scars from joker and before, imagine waking up one day, almost two years later, and everything’s just gone. Would it be relieving or terrifying? But then you start to get some more, different from the old ones but it’s still as if they never left. Callouses on the pads of your fingers from squeezing a phantom trigger. Slices on the tip of your ear (Jason narrowly dodged three daggers launched by a furious Damian after he accidentally stepped on Titus’ tail). Is this some kind of joke? Is your soulmate pool confined to a singular street gang that gets into the same fights every night? (Luckily open wounds are few and far between now. Maybe it’s professional fighter who finally invested in some body armor, your friend jokes.) At least there’s no branding this time. I guess whoever they are, they’re better protecting their face this time around. Either way, it doesn’t matter. You’re not sure you want anything to do with them anymore. Who’s to say someone hurt this bad is capable of not hurting you?

But he is, he’s so capable and deserving. It breaks your heart to learn the origins of those marks you stared at in the mirror, judging and hating. If you thought having those scars was hard on you, he must have felt it tenfold. You try to act like it never bothered you, but you both know it did. The look on Jason’s face when you absentmindedly mentioned you never really made friends until college because everyone saw you as unapproachable in high school— it took a full week of loving reassurances on your part and therapy sessions on his to get back to your normal.

But sharing his scars helps, even if just a little, in understanding every part of him. You understand his loneliness and fear because you felt it too. Some nights you swear you can feel the trace of a burning knife down the front of your torso, or bits of glass piercing your palms, so you know. You know that ice packs help with the ache, that aloe vera gel soothes the itching irritation from tiny cuts, and regular Hatha Yoga provides just the right stretch to loosen aching joints. He gives you a funny look when you gift him an aloe Vera plant for his windowsill, but says nothing, agreeing to take care of it when you ask him to keep it alive. One night you notice him repeatedly rubbing his red, burning palms down the front of his jeans and lead him to sit down before taking a clean knife and slicing off one of the stems, cutting it open to spread across his cuts. That silent statement of understanding, of seeing him in a way no one else does, has him welling with tears.

So, sure, having to grow up with only signs of him, not knowing who he was aside from anonymous messages on your skin was pretty difficult. But now when you trace across the bridge of his nose over the line of jagged skin, he can do it right back to you, and both of you can’t help but feel a little grateful.

I think I went a little off topic idk man I was just saying stuff but I love the idea of soulmate!jason where you get each other’s scars and that results in you feeling the same/similar but lesser symptoms of them and therefore knowing how to deal with them for him without him having to tell you🤭if someone wants to write a fic like this I will gladly read it

[paradox-insanity]

Viktor stops short. He had had a quiet day planned - testing out his little boat that he had been tinkering with for several days on end, barely pausing to eat, sleep, or hydrate.

A flash of annoyance sparks through him. Another one of his sacred spaces of solitude, lost to the consecrated curse of shared knowledge. Then his more logical side comes online and he thinks,

What in the name of Janna.

The explosion of light should’ve been blinding, but it washed over him like a loving embrace, accompanied by the smell of cold metal and sparking wires.

There are two people at the epicentre of the blaze, dressed for climates never experienced in Piltover, and gasping for breath like oxygen cannot reach their bones.

Like Viktor gasps awake every night.

He makes his way down to the clearing cautiously, his prototype long forgotten. He’s ready to bolt, but he has never been able to turn away from someone who needed help.

He reaches the more level landing, rocks carved smooth over decades of floods and flow. He can see clearly that the two figures were an older woman, and a young boy. It soothes some of his deeply ingrained paranoias, the voice of his mother murmuring in his head to steer clear of older men, extensive tattoos or scarring, and blue uniforms.

He grips his crutch tighter as he calls out softly, “Hello? Are you alright?”

It’s not the best question. Viktor’s never alright when he’s gasping like that. But he doesn’t know what else to say.

The boy recovers faster, glancing up to Viktor and scrambling to put himself between the woman and Viktor. He’s clearly not from the Undercity, and clearly deeply afraid, despite the resolution in his stance. “Don’t- don’t come any closer!”

Viktor stops, nearly laughs at the notion someone would be afraid of him, weak and frail as he is. “Okay,” he says simply. “Are you hurt?”

Wide eyes blink rapidly, shot through with fear and disorientation. “Where are we? Where’s the mage?”

Viktor frowns. Maybe these people weren’t as low risk as he had estimated. “Mage?”

“Yes! He was- he was right here!”

“You were not right here.” Viktor points out not so helpfully.

“But- but it was real. We were trying to get to Piltover and it’s cold and then my mom fell and he came and did this thing with some symbols and his stick and there was light and then- and then-”

He’d worked himself into a haphazard panic, gasping for words and belief and Viktor couldn’t really stand it anymore. “It is okay! I believe you. Just, calm down, yes? Calm.”

The boy slumped. “You don’t believe me.”

“I do not know you. And I have no concrete proof to believe a stranger’s word,” Viktor confessed, slowly inching forward again.

His eyes lit up and he opened up his clenched fist to reveal… a piece of glass? “Look! He gave me this, it has one of the symbols he used!”

Viktor peers over, and there is, in fact, a carved symbol on it. It resembles nothing Viktor has seen in his mother’s physics notebooks, but it seems real enough for Viktor to believe that something happened, even if the flash of light had been all smoke and mirrors.

“Okay.” He says it simply, but it rings true in a way that resonates with the boy. Viktor glances over, and asks gently, “You said your mother collapsed. Is she alright?”

He gasps, the adrenaline rush that had surged to protect his mother from the stranger faded and he jumped to his mother’s side again.

“It was snowing and the cold. The cold got to her!”

“Alright, calm,” Viktor said as smoothly as he could. It confounds him how emphatically the boy displays his emotions - so clearly not from the Undercity. “We just need to warm her up then. Food and water. It will be alright.” He hopes he wasn’t putting himself in absolutely ridiculous amounts of danger. “Can you help her upright? Get the damp clothes off?”

The boy nodded furiously, jumping to follow Viktor’s direction. They roused his mother, and Viktor had a can of potable water that the boy vehemently refused to touch himself but passed on to his mother.

“I think that is all we can do here. I know an abandoned warehouse we can use for you both to recover.”

The boy looked up at Viktor with an intensity that made him mildly uncomfortable. “Thank you. You have helped so much and I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Viktor.”

He receives a blinding smile in return. “Jayce. Jayce Talis.”

They make their way to the warehouse, they get Ximena warmed up and they acquire some food for the stragglers.

When it’s far past time for the Talises to make their way topside, where they have an offshoot of their extended family awaiting their arrival, Jayce grabs onto Viktor and clings tight.

“Come with us,” he pleads, large amber eyes wide with hope.

Viktor huffs a laugh and returns the hug after a moment of hesitation. “I cannot. My mother and I are all we have. I cannot leave her. But there may come a day where I am able to visit.”

That day doesn’t come. Viktor will make his way to the academy many years later, fighting against enforcers trying to deny him access to the entrance exam, which he will ace anyway. He will break the record for nearly every academic honour in the academy - none that will ever be announced or advertised. He will become Heimerdinger’s prized assistant, will get a chance to start his own tiny lab. His mind will be coveted, his body deeply repulsive.

He will attempt to find the boy with amber eyes and vivacious dreams many times, and he will fail many times.

Until one fateful day, when an explosion will take a student housing building off the map, and put a youthful student on it.

So we know that in every timeline, Mage Viktor saved Jayce and gave him a rune, but do you think he experimented with where he dropped him off? Do you think in his efforts to save the world from himself, he tried to see what would happen if him and Jayce met sooner?

Do you think in one universe, kid Viktor was tinkering with his little boat when *poof* this sweet-eyed boy dressed in winter clothes appeared right in front of him?

[anotherjheastan]

Another Complicated Love Story

A Jey Uso x Rhea Ripley FanFic

Chapter 6 | Masterlist

CW arguing, yelling, suggestive, mentions sex

Chapter 7: Like I’m Gonna Lose You

So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you

I’m gonna hold you like I’m saying goodbye

Wherever we’re standing

I won’t take you for granted

‘Cause we’ll never know when, when we’ll run out of time

- Like I’m Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor

Jey was vibing with Naomi’s music so he left his earbuds out. The first 30 minutes of their trip had been smooth. He hoped it would continue to be smooth. He could hear Rhea and Jessica whispering and giggling. He couldn’t make out what they were saying though. Jey was feeling both happy and sad to be around her again. Her presence was calming and he felt the desire to hold her hand or put his arm around her growing. But underneath the surface was fear. He didn’t want to get hurt again, but maybe that was unavoidable. At least for now.

He had the visor down to block the sun, but he flicked open the mirror part. He could see Rhea and he smiled. She was beautiful. And he missed her. They were close together, but somehow still far apart. Rhea looked up and met Jey’s eyes in the mirror. She smiled. He smiled back. He broke eye contact first, fighting emotions and memories that were coming up. And fear came up again. Why was he so afraid? He wanted to pull that thread, but he had to focus. He had a show to do. They were gonna give the crowd some Jhea moments since their relationship was a part of the storyline. And it had to look like things were great between them.

“You doing okay, bro?” Naomi asked.

“Yeah I’m good. How are you holding up?” Jey asked.

“I feel good. Should be able to do the whole drive,” Naomi said.

“Good,” Jey replied.

They arrived at the arena in Jacksonville at 12:35 pm. Traffic had picked up, but they still made good time. They all ate lunch together in catering. Dom, Liv, and Raquel grabbed their food while they were there. Dom waved at Jessica and Rhea had to hold Jessica back from making good on her promise.

Before they knew it, it was rehearsal time. All the superstars walked through the show. Jey would come out after Rhea’s match with Raquel. Jey would look over to make sure she was okay and kiss her on the forehead. Rhea was timid towards Jey and it was obvious.

“You gotta be confident tonight,” Jey said. “I’m yours, remember?”

“Forreal or for the show?,” Rhea asked. She tugged on his shirt.

“Forreal,” Jey said, stepping closer to her. He didn’t care what any other superstars or crew were thinking. He gently caressed her face. Rhea started to talk, but Jey cut her off.

“No, I’m not just saying that.”

Rhea still had uncertainty on her face. He rested her forehead on hers. Rhea exhaled and closed her eyes. He felt her relax.

“Let’s lock in,” Jey said quietly. “You got this.”

Rhea nodded. They separated. Jey could see she was focused now. He smiled.

“Let’s have a great show.”

“Yeet,” Rhea replied, grinning.

“Yeet!”

***

Jey loaded up the bags while Jessica talked about how great the show was. Jessica took pictures with a few superstars backstage: Bianca and Naomi, Damien Priest, Bron Breakker. They all did well: Rhea against Raquel, Jey against Bron, Bianca and Naomi vs Candice and Nia.

“Who’s driving? I’m gonna knock out in the back,” Naomi said, holding up the keys.

“I can drive,” Jey said, holding out his hand.

Jessica yawned. “I’ll be in the back too. Nothing worse than a sleeping navigator.”

“Oh how convenient,” Rhea said.

“Time Zones and all that, mate,” Jessica said, shrugging.

“You don’t want to sit next to me?” Jey asked as he closed the trunk.

“I didn’t say that,” Rhea said, walking over to the passenger door and sliding in.

Jey smiled and took his place in the driver’s seat.

Sure enough, about 20 minutes down the road, Naomi and Jessica were out. Rhea didn’t have her headphones in.

“Can I ask you a question?” Jey asked, lowering the music a little.

“Yeah,” Rhea said, glancing at him.

“Why didn’t you reach out to me after the whole Liv thing?” Jey asked.

Rhea sighed. “I tried to text you. Everything I wrote sounded stupid. Especially after I realized it was a misunderstanding.”

Jey nodded, but didn’t say anything. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but resisted. Touching would lead to other things. And he didn’t want to just sex this issue away. He wanted to know they would be good. And he wanted to pull at the thread he was thinking about earlier to see if anything else was bothering him.

“So you weren’t mad at me the whole time?” Jey asked.

“No, babe,” Rhea said.

“Did you miss me?” Jey asked.

“I still miss you,” Rhea said, sadness in her voice.

He reached out and touched her thigh. A calmness washed over him. He could tell it had washed over Rhea too. She put her hand on top of his. They locked eyes for a few seconds, Jey shifting back on the road.

“I miss you too,” Jey said.

He felt a flash of fear and nervousness. What was up with that? He started thinking about where it could possibly come from…

When it finally clicked, he took his hand away from Rhea’s thigh and gripped the steering wheel. He was trying to play it cool, but he was angry. He loved and trusted her and when they had a problem, not to mention their first problem, she turned her back on him? Remnants of his feud with Roman flashed in his mind. Roman had broken him and something had already shifted with Rhea. He wouldn’t let it go any further. He couldn’t.

They made it back to Jimmy and Naomi’s just before 1 am. Naomi reminded them that they were welcome to crash at the house. Jey in the sunroom, Rhea and Jessica in the guest room.

“If y’all still needed space,” Naomi said.

Rhea looked at Jey expectantly. He had said they were good so of course Rhea wanted to be with him. And he almost wanted her to distract him from this mistrust growing toward her. He could get lost in her touch and smile and kisses. But that would only last for one night.

“I’ll take the sunroom. You and Jess can stay together.”

Rhea looked confused and a little hurt, but she just nodded. Jey went on to settle on the couch bed in the sunroom. Just as he got comfortable, his phone buzzed. It was Rhea. He sighed.

Rhea: I thought we were good? What happened?

Jey: We are good. I just need some space.

Rhea: Why?

Jey: Because I don’t want us to just fuck and forget this shit. We gotta deal with it.

Rhea: But we don’t have to fuck. We can cuddle.

Jey: We both know we won’t just cuddle.

Rhea: Does it matter what we do or don’t do, as long as we still work it out?

Jey: It does to me. Go to sleep, Rhea.

Rhea: Come put me to sleep. Or I can come down there.

Jey: You’re bold.

Rhea: And you’re still texting me.

Jey sighed and gave a half smile. Her confidence was back, but his confidence was floundering. Could he push past this fear? Did he want to?

Jey heard the sunroom door open and he sat up. Rhea quietly closed the door behind her. From the low ambient light, he could see she had a mischievous smile on her face. His anger flared. He stood up and held his hand up before she got closer.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jey asked quietly.

“I thought we were flirting,” Rhea said quietly, stepping closer. “Are we not?”

“No we’re not. Stop!” Jey said, harshly.

“What’s wrong? I thought we were good,” Rhea said, crossing her arms.

“Rhea, the last time I saw you you told me to leave you the fuck alone and to go find Liv. You think I just got over that shit?” Jey said loudly.

“I know I messed up,” Rhea replied loudly. “But I apologized. I’m working on my shit. We basically said we loved each other this morning. Tonight, in the ring, you told me you're mine? That was a lie?”

“No, that wasn’t a lie. That’s the problem.”

“What? What are you saying?” Rhea yelled, frustrated.

“I’m yours. And you abandoned me!” Jey yelled. “I tried to have your back and you told me to fuck off because of something you made up.”

Rhea’s eyes watered, her mouth opened, but she didn’t speak. She exhaled a shaky breath.

“Yes, I overreacted,” she said slowly. “But you know why.”

“Yeah and your why is telling me I can’t fucking trust you,” Jey said loudly.

More tears fell from Rhea’s eyes. She dropped her arms. “So this is it? This is how we end?” Her voice dropped back to a whisper.

Jey shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You weren’t a rebound, Jey. This was serious for me.”

“This was serious for me too. Why do you think I’m so fucking scared?” Jey asked.

Rhea wiped her tears away. Jey’s eyes started to water. Rhea put a hand on her stomach and a hand on her chest. She took some deep breaths and blew out slowly.

“Watching you pass out…broke something in me,” Jey said, quiet now too. “I hated not being there for you, but you turned your back on me. After everything we talked about with The Judgment Day and The Bloodline. And you didn’t ask me what happened. It was like your word was law. So I fell in line.”

Rhea nodded. “Sounds like you have trauma that you need to work out too.”

Their eyes met. Jey’s heart pounded.

There was a knock on the door. Rhea turned around and backed away from the door as it opened. She was close to Jey now. Jimmy walked in.

“I would ask if y’all are okay, but y’all woke up the whole house…” Jimmy said.

“I’m sorry, uce,” Jey said.

“I’m sorry,” Rhea said.

“If y’all aren’t gonna keep it down, I’d suggest finishing talking in the morning,” Jimmy said.

“We’ll keep it down,” Jey said.

Rhea nodded, looking at Jey.

Jimmy studied both of them. “Don’t make me come back down here.”

Jey smirked. “Yes sir.”

Jimmy closed the door.

“I can go,” Rhea said.

Jey took her hand. “Don’t. Stay with me.”

Rhea looked at their hands and looked up at him, heat passing between them. “I don’t want this to be goodbye.”

“We’ll make it work so it won’t be,” Jey said. “Like you were saying earlier.”

He pulled her close to him, his arms wrapped around her waist. Jey was tired of feeling angry and sad. He wanted to feel something else.

“Oh,” Rhea said, smiling. “You’re done being mad at me?” She reached up, her arms resting on his shoulders, hands behind his neck.

“Yeah,” Jey said. “Now I know what I gotta work on.”

Rhea pressed her body up against him. Jey bit his lip.

“See? We could’ve been on Round 2 by now,” Rhea whispered, her eyes shifting between his eyes and lips.

Jey smirked as he leaned in. “Greedy,” he whispered just before he kissed her.

Rhea smiled briefly before losing herself in the kiss. She held him tightly as she kissed him back. Clothes came off and kisses were planted in places other than lips. Their quiet moans filled only the sunroom. They made sure. And after, they looked into each other’s eyes, promising to make this work.

[scarletwinterxx]

my ins and my means, with you there's no in between I'm all in - kwon soonyoung imagine

helloooo ~ here's a short cute fic, saw a tiktok the other day, that's what inspired this🤭hope you like it!

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

The night before had been nothing short of a storm. The kind where voices were raised, words were said that didn’t need to be, and feelings were hurt. But here you were, the morning after, standing in front of the mirror, staring at yourself as you carefully dabbed on foundation, the still-slightly-raw emotions of last night lingering in the air between you and Soonyoung.

He was sitting on the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him, eyes glued to the screen of his phone, but his attention kept drifting back to you. You could feel his gaze on the back of your head, the warmth of his stare prickling your neck like a soft breeze.

You didn’t turn around. You couldn’t. Not yet.

“Do you really have to stare at me like that?” you asked, your voice not quite as sharp as you wanted it to be, but still carrying a slight edge.

“I’m not staring,” Soonyoung said, shifting his position but not moving his eyes from you. “Just admiring.”

You caught his reflection in the mirror. His lips were pulled into a grin, eyes crinkled with the smallest hint of mischief. He was trying. You could tell.

He was trying to make it right, but you were still holding on to the grudge from last night. The argument, though now over, still simmered beneath the surface.

As you reached for your blush, you paused for a moment, taking in the sight of him. his eyes still glued to you like he couldn’t look away, his entire posture slouched and resigned, like a puppy who'd been scolded and was waiting for forgiveness. The mental image made your lips twitch, and you couldn’t help but smile.

You applied the blush with delicate strokes, the brush sweeping across your cheeks. The mirror caught the movement of your lips, and that’s when you let it slip—a soft smile that reached your eyes, despite yourself. The act of applying makeup was almost like a ritual, and that smile, however small, was a part of it.

But just as you did, Soonyoung’s grin widened. He leaned forward a little, his chin now resting on his hand, his face full of expectation, like he’d won some sort of silent victory.

It was too much.

You turned toward him and gave him a playful but pointed look. “I’m not smiling at you,” you said, your tone as deadpan as you could manage, but the twinkle in your eye gave you away. “This is how I put my blush.”

His face fell slightly, the corners of his mouth sagging just a little, but you could see the effort he was putting into holding back a chuckle.

“I’m still mad at you, you know,” you added, holding his gaze in the mirror. “Don’t get any ideas.”

Soonyoung blinked at you, his eyebrows lifting in mock surprise. “You’re still mad at me?” he said, sounding almost hurt, but there was a soft grin on his lips that betrayed his true feelings. “But I thought we were over it.”

You hummed noncommittally as you finished applying the blush.

“We’re over it,” you said, “but I’m not just going to forget everything”

The way you said it made him sit up straighter. “Wait, are you really still mad at me?” He stood up now, moving toward you, taking slow, tentative steps like he was afraid you'd snap at him if he came any closer

You smirked, not responding immediately. Instead, you picked up your mascara wand and started applying it with exaggerated slowness, dragging it out just to tease him a little. Your eyes flicked back to the mirror to find Soonyoung standing in your reflection, his head cocked to the side, his expression unreadable but his posture full of gentle desperation.

“Can you hurry up with that?” he asked, his voice soft and pleading. “I just—uh—I need to know if you’re really still mad at me. I mean, if you’re mad, that’s okay, but you don’t have to stay mad forever.”

You sighed dramatically, leaning back in the chair as if giving up. “Fine,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I’m not mad at you anymore, okay?”

Soonyoung brightened immediately, and just when you thought he might burst into song or do something equally ridiculous, he simply stepped closer, his expression softening. “Really?” he asked, his voice quieter now, like he was asking permission to be forgiven.

“Yeah,” you sighed again, looking up at him through the mirror. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I am cute,” he confirmed with an exaggerated nod. “So, we’re good now?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” you said, finally finishing with your mascara and setting it down. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you off easy. You have to at least follow me around today like you’re trying to make up for your mistakes.”

Soonyoung’s eyes brightened, and his face lit up in a way that made your heart do a little flip. “I’m already on it,” he said, with all the seriousness he could muster, which, truth be told, wasn’t much. “You need anything? I’m at your service. I’ll be your personal assistant for the day.”

You raised an eyebrow, eyeing him carefully. “You’re just going to follow me around like a lost puppy?”

He nodded eagerly. “Exactly! A cute, loyal puppy who’s sorry for whatever it was I did last night. Actually make it a cute baby tiger. Anything you need, I’m there. I’ll even carry your purse if you want.”

“I’ll pass on the purse carrying, thank you,” you said, shaking your head as you grabbed your jacket. “But you can carry the coffee. You owe me that much.”

“I’m on it,” he said, practically skipping toward the door to get his shoes. “I’ll get it extra hot. Extra sweet. Just the way you like it.”

As you stepped into the living room, you could hear him rummaging through the kitchen, asking questions about where you kept the cups and what kind of sugar you liked. He was a whirlwind of energy, buzzing around you like he couldn’t help himself.

For the rest of the day, Soonyoung stuck to you like glue, hovering around you with that same puppy-eyed expression that made it hard to stay mad at him for long. Whether it was getting your coat for you or holding open doors, he did it all with a little extra enthusiasm, as though he thought that maybe, just maybe, if he was extra attentive, it would make up for last night.

By the end of the day, when you were both sitting together, sharing a quiet moment, you realized you couldn’t remember what you were so upset about in the first place. Maybe it was the way he grinned at you, or how he offered you the last bite of his sandwich without a second thought. Whatever it was, Soonyoung had a way of making everything right again, even when things felt wrong.

And, as you leaned into him, letting him rest his head on your shoulder, you found yourself smiling—this time, for real.

[angelrissa]

Finally decided to finish writing part one to this prompt. Please ignore that I took 2 months to write like this

content warning! : descriptions of gore/injury, slight groping, no dialogue, Also i'm not particularly great with writing, its all just for fun.

wc: 648

Things just seemed too peaceful. Surely there should be more noise than the guttural moans of pain escaping your cracked lips. Yet, there was nothing, no sounds of the excessive nature surrounding you, no wildlife chirping with life, nothing, just the exhausted heaving of your chest as you desperately try to catch your breath, limping to find anyone that could possibly help you.

You can't recall how long it's been since you were separated from your team, but it was long enough to know they weren't searching any longer, but you doubt they searched in the first place, you were somebody people didn't mind losing, deadweight as they'd call it. While the fading sounds of your surroundings echoed in your mind, a sudden sharp pain snapped you back to reality. Blood gushed out of your leg, a deep red color that seemed to somehow look delectable to the raw hunger aching in your stomach. Thank goodness you saw the thick berry jam oozing from your body inviting your fingers to shove themselves into the jar and stuff the two digits down your desperate mouth. You let out a wicked scream of pain when two fingers greedily dug into your wound realizing you had further mutilated yourself, causing your feeble body to collapse to the ground. It's too bad you were oh so close to what looked like an isolated cabin standing solitary in the woods, only just a few feet away from your blurred vision.

Your senses were dulled, each breath more labored than the last, but somehow, the sight of the cabin ignited a flicker of hope within you. Clenching your jaw against the pain that radiated from your leg, you pulled yourself up with weak determination. The wound was ghastly. Hot blood pooled beneath you, staining the dry leaves and soil underneath like a gruesome work of art. But the cabin stood resolute, a solitary figure against the contamination of the forest, a chance that someone lived there.

You dragged yourself forward, each movement sending daggers of agony through your leg. You could barely focus, the world shifted in and out of clarity as you stumbled toward the door before collapsing on the dirty excuse of a front porch. The world twisted and warped around you like a reflection of your child self in a fun house mirror at the state fair. Gasping for air, each inhale felt like swallowing shards of glass that clawed at your throat. Shadows clouded your vision, thick and eerie, covering the world in a muted, dark hue. But something was wrong, completely, irrevocably wrong. One shadow seemed to stand out darker than the rest, it was the shadow oddly shaped like a man. A man so unsettling it was probably best you died here before he got his hands on you. He loomed over you, taking pleasure in your agony. Knowing nobody would ever find you out here, he's not even quite sure how you managed to get here, but oh is he thrilled you did.

His large hands quickly reach down to grab onto your body, calloused fingers roughly grazing over your breasts where your bulletproof vest previously clung to your skin, but now pathetically hung off your frame. You immediately recoil at his touch, wincing from the ache of your wounds. You may have been delirious but you just knew you weren't safe.

How sick of him to stare at you like a piece of meat while you desperately clung to life, praying you won't die like this. But he just couldn't help himself. How could he? You just weakly lay in his arms, so afraid, such a tragic girl. He needed to save you. He would be your savior whether you wanted him to be or not.

(I plan to make this a series if I have the time)

taglist - @ang3lc

[kirbybecomesastarwarrior]

This might be a dumb question, but mind explaining why meta ends up changing from his anime design to his modern one?

Oh, no problem... I've been dying to explain this, so it's perfect timing with the question. The gradual change in his armor starts after (the Knightmare's end), the first thing that changes starts with his pauldrons. That was completely shattered at the end of the arc (how or why can't I say it just yet I really need to get back to writing it...)

In the KBASW (AU), I lean into Arthurian lore (a lot) here, and Meta Knight is our Mordred. And his design, in general, is meant to show his growth and eventually becoming the leader of the GSA. Adding more purples and golds... this is due to the people he's closest to.

Purple: (Kirby's influence/relationship)

Kirby, of course, being red, is the dominant cause & reason for his change. Not being able to let go or forgive himself for the past (representative of his blue). He's able to accept and move on with Kirby, understanding he can't truly love and care for Kirby if he doesn't love himself first. He lets' his walls down and let's & allows himself to be loved and enjoy life again, finally able to let go of his guilt and his team (Halbred).

He kept away from Kirby due to not being able to save his team and also for not being able to be there for Kirby due to his corruption. A mistake he allowed to happen. In an attempt to keep the remaining team members alive (as well as going berserk after Jerca's Death), he turned to "dark magic... Nightmare's magic," Which (without spoiling anything...) gave Nightmare an opening to get him. And MK bore immense guilt for doing that... He wasn't able to save anyone (which led him to have to stay away from Kirby), finally seeing himself as a monster... he finally removed the blue cape due to Kirby.

Not only that but it's also meant to show Kirby & Meta Knight sharing the same dream. With Meta Knight honoring the past but being moving forward. Mixing his blues with Kirby's red, thus creating his current purple, is the main support of Kirby's group, Star Allies (which is meant to mirror Meta Knight's OG group, Star Allies.) Sharing the desire to make the galaxy a more safe & accepting place for everyone.

Gold: (Arthur's influence/relationship)

Arthur was not only his father figure but his savior... very much idolizing him. Similar to Jon's snow/ and the reference to Mordred. He was seen as an illegitimate (Arthur's) child or, in this case, Arthur's demon child. Arthur protected Meta Knight fiercely...but, as the philosophy goes, "Prepare your child, not protect them..." And tried his best to shield him from the cruelty of the world.

Very much trying to tell him he was no different than nobody else... and tried to instill hope as long as he worked hard enough: "One day he can be a hero too..." Which was a dream that was dashed after Meta Knight got rejected into joining the elites, and they had their falling out. It seemed like everything Sir Arthur had told him was a lie... A white lie that (what else was he lying about...) and doubted their relationship, feeling he was ashamed of him...

But despite all this, Meta is still a part of that kept that little hope in life. Not only keeping his knightly honor & code but all the morals that Sir Arthur taught him. Out of love and loyalty for Arthur... and Sir Arthur still loved & believed him too...

They do makeup with each other after the events of Falspar being branded "the fool." But it was mostly Arthur apologizing... and Meta Knight accepting it... But Meta Knight doesn't truly understand the extent of his love after Arthur goes M.I.A... Despite the fallout, Arthur had continued to look after Meta... secretly being the one to cover Team Halbred's tracks... and was the one that made sure Icarus upheld his promise to Meta Knight... he was still there despite it all. (And like with Kirby), he was initially afraid to admit his corruption to Arthur when he saw him again in person...

But of course, had nothing to about worry ... because, to Arthur, He still shined like gold... (as he always did to him)

So Arthurs' gold represents Meta Knight, representing "the worthiness" he has as a person. The unconditional love that is always there & that you always deserve it. For all his failures, mistakes, and regrets... he was still a worthy king!~

His arch of acceptance and self-love only when Meta Knight completes his journey and when he can take his rightful place as the leader of GSA... and yes, I made Meta Knight's iconic "Get It Sword" into a "sword in the stone reference."

And I'm so glad you enjoyed his future design so much, I'm reworking the emblem on his. It's so supposed to be a deconstructed "M" for Meta Knight as well as a nod to Arthur's emblem.

Not only that, but the slashes are meant to be a reference to sword beam slashes I tried to indicate that with the armor design as well. I really wanted to emphasis the connection with Kirby & Arthur's character to Meta Knight.

I also did this thought process with future Arthur's design, with him donning greens & orange, which is meant to represent (green- Meta Knight & orange -Kirby) when their respective colors mix.

Thank you so much for your questions, you really did have the best timing... I was planning to do this post for a while. And to my other readers, thank you for reading this long explanation. No doubt there's a grammatical error somewhere... but regardless, thank you for riding this wave with me.

[nodefinition-found]

ׂ╰ ❝ 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞, 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝? — 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐲 ? ❞ `

:; — Empty words spewed from hurt cannot be unsaid. They already know "hate" no longer has the same meaning. Can the dead man even pretend to be surprised? Eyes blurring the horrific image of what used to be brother beneath as he tries to blink away tears. He doesn't deserve to cry, not after he could have left but chose to stay. Why does he stare at his hands in horror, as if he wasn't the one controlling them, as if this wasn't a decision and just another mistake? Fingers gripping so tightly there's bruises in their place, teeth stained with blood that is no longer his own. His innocence is long gone, who he was erased.

So far gone, eyes blown from the adrenaline. Patchy fingers traced every scar as if he hadn't already memorized them—he put them there, etched into flesh like a branding. Is the monster even a wolf anymore when he doesn't eat the prey? Instead, just clawing open every healing wound and licking the tendons until the flesh is numb. What wolf provokes the prey to violence just so it can be beaten bloody? Covered in bites and bruises that he will repay with his own. The other used to be so tactile with the pain he inflicted—bullet holes and quick strikes, slow to anger and righteous—but now it is frantic and desperate with shaking hands and bared teeth to mirror that of the mutt's.

Neither of them has ever stopped the other, afraid of losing the only thing that kills the mind and brings the body back to life. Pushing each other further and further, nothing sets them off like the other. Nothing satisfies the violence inside them like one another. Tethered by a hatred so passionate it might as well be love, if violence is all they know then violence it will be. Anything but letting go.

Dizzy with adrenaline, sometimes he lets Liu win. An open invitation for that broken little dove to beat him into the dirt until he can't stand and those leather gloves are stained with scarlet. It feels like being executed by an Angel—clean and perfect, and just. What should elicit fear only evokes a high more addicting than the bloodlust, so like an addict he watches as that spectacle of divine judgement stands above him and spreads its mangled wings to deliver the final blow. He would slit his throat on that halo.

'He looks good covered in bruises,' but Jeff thinks he looks better covered in the blood of sinners.

This took me like 90+ hours and I still have rendering to do on the second page that wasn't included.

[silentheiss]

It takes a long time for Shen Qingqiu to fall asleep, and once he does, he wishes he didn’t.

He knows he’s dreaming right away, just as he knows that Luo Binghe’s not there to soften his dream. He’s likely still awake, working through reports he’s been sent earlier today. Usually, Shen Qingqiu would stay with him, but tonight he couldn’t- he just couldn’t. Sleep seemed like a safer choice. He was wrong.

In his dream, he sits in front of the mirror, staring at himself with confusion. At least that’s what he feels. His reflection, in turn, looks at him with such a cold disgust, that Shen Qingqiu knows instantly who he’s dreaming of.

“Congratulations,” Shen Jiu says, thin lips twitching into a haughty smile. “You managed to hurt him even worse than I did.”

“Fuck you.” Shen Qingqiu says. He knows in what detection this is going. He doesn’t like it one bit.

“I called him a dog, but you treat him like one.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh?” Shen Jiu leans closer. “Well, I suppose you’re right. At least dogs are under their owners protection. But he’s the one who protects you, now. You just let him follow you, serve you, tend to you, and what do you give him in return?”

“I- show him. In my own way.”

“Ah. Tell him he’s doing good, every once in a while? Pat his head for a second or two, before stepping away? Begrudgingly agree to physical intimacy after he’s begged enough? The last one is my favorite. Inventively humiliating. Tell me, are you ashamed of him?”

Shen Qingqiu swallows, feeling his eyes grow hot. He doesn’t know what to say, and yet he opens his mouth to argue.

“I care about him.”

Shen Jiu laughs.

“How romantic. How generous. Every devoted husband dreams of hearing he’s merely cared for by their spouse.”

“It’s not just that. I- Of course, I-”

“Can’t even say it to yourself, can you?”

“Binghe knows.” Shen Qingqiu whispers.

“Does he? Or does he think you married him because you’re afraid of what he might’ve done if you didn’t? Or, better yet, does he think you did it out of pity? And yet he’s grateful that you took him in, happy to get any scrap of your attention.”

“That’s not true.” Shen Qingqiu insists.

“Even I couldn’t destroy his self esteem as thoroughly. Great job, Shen Yuan. You rendered a mighty protagonist into a pathetic mutt who knows he’s unloved, but doesn’t have enough self respect to leave.”

“Binghe’s not like that. He’s not. He’s-”

“It’s not his fault.” Shen Jiu shrugs. “You raised him. You made him love you enough that it doesn’t matter if he’s loved in return. Exemplary husband, you are. Truly.”

Shen Qingqiu breaks the mirror.

He wakes up with a start.

“Shizun?” Luo Binghe calls from the other room. Shen Qingqiu hears a shuffle of papers and then soft steps, nearing their bedroom. “Shizun?”

He wants to answer, but he can’t- he can’t breathe.

Luo Binghe comes rushing to the bed, immediately gathering Shen Qingqiu into his arms, holding him close, whispering soft words into his hair.

Shen Qingqiu breaks.

“Binghe.” He gasps through sobs. “Binghe, I’m sorry.”

“Husband has nothing to apologize for.” Luo Binghe says, voice sure and steady.

“No.” Shen Qingqiu cries. “No, no, no. Binghe, this husband failed you.”

“Shizun, don’t say such nonsense.”

Shen Qingqiu raises his head. He has to look his husband in the eye when he says that.

“Binghe, I love you.” He fights to keep his voice steady. “This one loves you so, so much. So much, Binghe. You have to know. I’m sorry I never said. I will do better, I- you have to know.”

Luo Binghe frowns at him, wipes his teary cheeks with shaky hand.

“This one knows.” He says, sounding confused and maybe a little hurt. “Why would Shizun think otherwise?”

“Because I never told you? I rarely kiss you first, I never- I failed as a husband. Binghe’s been perfect, taking care of me, talking about his love for this one for the world to hear, and I failed him. I let him think that he’s not loved, but he is. He is.”

“Shizun.” Luo Binghe leans closer, looking at Shen Qingqiu as if he’s searching for some kind of an answer and if only Shen Qingqiu knew what the question was, he’d give it right away. He’d give him anything. “Husband. I know that you love me. This one knows.”

Shen Qingqiu shudders.

“Binghe does?”

“Of course.”

“But,” Shen Qingqiu whispers. “I never told you?”

“Shizun didn’t have to. This one made it his life mission to study every Shizun’s expression, every movement, every change in the tone of his beautiful voice. He knows his husband, maybe even better than his husband knows himself.”

“Still, I should have-”

“No.” Luo Binghe says. “Husband is doing enough. This one feels very loved, every minute of every day.”

“Binghe.” Shen Qingqiu whines.

“This Binghe is going to have a talk with disciples who planted such silly thoughts in my Shizun’s head.”

“Don’t. They were right, anyway. I should be telling Binghe I love him all the time.”

“You do, husband.” Luo Binghe smiles, soft and sweet. “When you read for me, when you brush my hair extra long, when you get me little presents for no reason at all, when you rant about your silly books. This one is very lucky. He is loved. He knows this.”

Shen Qingqiu crashes against his husband’s chest, feeling almost lightheaded with relief.

“Thank you.” He murmurs. “Thank you, for knowing me so well.”

“It’s this one’s honor to know Shizun.”

Shen Qingqiu holds onto Luo Binghe tighter and doesn’t let go for the rest of the night.

It’s a calm evening. The weather is pleasant, if maybe a touch too warm, but Shen Qingqiu knows that as soon as the sun comes down fully it’ll get better. Luo Binghe and he are walking down the familiar path, taking their customary stroll before they start getting ready to bed. It’s quiet like that on Qing Jing Peak, their routine for when they stay on the mountain. Shen Qingqiu loves it.

As they walk past training ground, disciples’ voices reach them.

“—and once I’m done, Shizun will say I’m his favorite.” One of the younger ones is saying.

Luo Binghe snorts. Shen Qingqiu slows down and shushes him.

“You know he loves that Binghe man the most, A-Tao.”

Shen Qingqiu clears his throat, fighting the blush.

“Does he? He never said so, he just says he’s his favorite. I can be favorite!”

“He never said it in front of you! He’s probably saying it a-all the time when they’re home.”

Shen Qingqiu freezes completely, suddenly feeling uneasy and tense. He feels Luo Binghe go still, too.

“It’s all good, Shizun.” Luo Binghe says a moment later, placating as he always does. “This Binghe is getting tired. Let’s go home?”

They do. They go through their nightly routine, and the evening is still nice and calm, and Shen Qingqiu isn’t nervous, isn’t anxious, isn’t awkward. He’s all good.

He’s never said “I love you” to his husband, but it’s okay. Binghe knows.

He does, right?

[starry-bi-sky]

I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt

“Woah. You look like shit."

Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.

The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.

"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."

And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.

The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.

If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.

"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.

"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.

"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.

The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.

He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."

There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.

"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."

Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"

"Daniel? Is that you?"

His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep - A Fragmentary Passage - The World Within

[rimouskis]

can I be so open and vulnerable with you guys. the card I was given from people at my old office was sincerely so nice and really validating but also I feel like the main impression I left other people with was "she's really nice" WHICH IS GOOD, I DO WANT TO BE KNOWN AS NICE but also part of me is like... should I maybe strive for "innovative" or "creative" or "a go-getter" because being The Nice One just feels a little mealy-mouthed of me y'know?

[theredconqueror]

He smiles back, but that too is jagged with sadness on both points. Yes, depending on the memories... what do his of Lusacan now consist of, but mirrored reflections of his desperation? Distortions of devotions, to a god he never truly knew, but whom he would he would have given everything for. Everything for, but not giving everything up: not his vengeance. He was as poor a priest as the dragon might have been a deity, he supposes. He doesn't rewrite history to pretend he'd been so clever as to have noticed a strand of something off then. Lucanis soothes him as he touches him, this deadly lullaby done at the pressure points, as he listens to the other recount what had kept alive. "Yes, it is." It had been the same for himself, this same cycle of thoughts which had seen him through mortality and beyond. He looks to the other with understanding, letting sincerity bleed into it; not merely approval, but personal experience tainting it. Their bodies might seem to nearly meld, melt together, like two snakes intertwined; where did each of them end and begin. Lucanis asks for a happy memory. It is not strictly what he said, but that is what he meant. He feels... generous. He curls conspiratorially closer and begin with a soft smile: "I woke up in my father's room, and he was holding my hand. One of the few times he ever did." The memory blooms with love and devotion greater than to any god. But this is a story to be told in reverse: "The day before, we had been practicing blood magic. Not the first time, but it was to be a significant advancement. He thought... I was ready for more." His palms idly flatten out, open and accepting for a blade, recreating the flesh offering. "I used to be frightened of knives. Of hurting... and hurting others," he whispers; what a poor mage he was then, but a better man. "It was meant to get me over that fear." He considers Lucanis and his training, if he ever went through something similar. Obviously not blood magic, but having to turn a blade on oneself, to get over fear? But then, he finds it hard to imagine Lucanis being afraid of anything. A technical description follows: "The symptoms of excessive blood loss are lightheadedness, near euphoria. I thought I had been doing so well... up until the moment I blacked out." He is smiling still, as after all, this a fond memory, one of his happiest. To another, he imagines, it would sound like a tragedy. "Later, I'd learned that my father had been at my bedside all night, because I had almost died. I was twelve years old, then. Even though I had failed... he still said he was proud of me." Childhood pride burns in his chest, as fragile as a candle, but enough of a flame to burn down a forest, to light a life. Rare were the times his father had said he was proud, and never when he'd disappointed. That day had been different. "My father wasn't afraid of anything but... I saw the relief when I woke up." The guilt that carried throughout the year, and he remembers his birthday: he got me you; you, meant to be mine alone, and you were.

He's heard there's no better compass than compassion, and feels it settle true into the fractured space of their bones with minute traipsing along; the seconds lost to to breathing and the hours given freely toward conversation. Encouraged by the other's mirth, Lucanis offers, far too easily, a smile in return. "Depends on the memories." Supplied quietly, the mirroring a habit that's meandering closer to a private joke at this rate, his touch turns explorative. Lingers on the palms before squeezing at pressure points in the webbing between fingers; the weakest spots in a body now being used to release tension one careful motion at a time. Foregoing an immediate answer, he continues touching Valrys' hands, form curled close enough that he's nearly pillowing his shoulder. Survive for the sake of others? It's a given he wanted to return to the routine afforded by family, but more than anything: "I wanted to kill each of them. Slow enough for death to be a blessing. Vengeance is easier to cling to than hope," he says, a flicker of purple glimpsed in the iris.

"It wouldn't be the first time one of us didn't return from a mission. If... Catarina was there, she would've reprimanded me for the tardiness." The entire family was starved of affection; he and Illario knew not the flavor, only facsimiles of it throughout the years. It wouldn't be a misconception to say his cousin almost looked disappointed in his return. A hard thing to accept perhaps when he packed away the grief into boxes. (Abel returned to the dinner table while Cain still had blood on his hands). Lucanis shifts to rest more of his weight against Valrys, a companion nearly equal to Spite's constant presence. "Tell me a good memory."

[starheirxero]

brief break from the lord eclipse posting for some nice eclipse posting:

I rediscovered this song “you smell of dead flowers” and the last few lines immediately reminded of solar and his sun and I just grgrhergraragh!!!!!

“You smell of dead flowers / I smell of the sewer I rot in” has the vibe of solar thinking back on his sun, who maybe once had a sweet scent to him but the memory has since been tarnished and twisted with grief that dead flowers are the only thing that come to mind. that, paired with the next line, gives the impression that he puts himself below his sun; that he is something that rots and pollutes(“because if I wasn’t, my sun wouldn’t be dead, right?”).

The next lines hammer that in some more, with “I’m ashamed of all I am now / and all I am now / is painful” really cementing the vibe of his low self worth and I just. I just!!! Idk!!! It makes me terribly emotional to think of their dynamic and how solar could harbor a lot of grief, regret, and self hatred because of what he “did” to his sun and i’m just. ueueueue,,,,,