#aaaallll the feeling come out

[silentheiss]

It takes a long time for Shen Qingqiu to fall asleep, and once he does, he wishes he didn’t.

He knows he’s dreaming right away, just as he knows that Luo Binghe’s not there to soften his dream. He’s likely still awake, working through reports he’s been sent earlier today. Usually, Shen Qingqiu would stay with him, but tonight he couldn’t- he just couldn’t. Sleep seemed like a safer choice. He was wrong.

In his dream, he sits in front of the mirror, staring at himself with confusion. At least that’s what he feels. His reflection, in turn, looks at him with such a cold disgust, that Shen Qingqiu knows instantly who he’s dreaming of.

“Congratulations,” Shen Jiu says, thin lips twitching into a haughty smile. “You managed to hurt him even worse than I did.”

“Fuck you.” Shen Qingqiu says. He knows in what detection this is going. He doesn’t like it one bit.

“I called him a dog, but you treat him like one.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh?” Shen Jiu leans closer. “Well, I suppose you’re right. At least dogs are under their owners protection. But he’s the one who protects you, now. You just let him follow you, serve you, tend to you, and what do you give him in return?”

“I- show him. In my own way.”

“Ah. Tell him he’s doing good, every once in a while? Pat his head for a second or two, before stepping away? Begrudgingly agree to physical intimacy after he’s begged enough? The last one is my favorite. Inventively humiliating. Tell me, are you ashamed of him?”

Shen Qingqiu swallows, feeling his eyes grow hot. He doesn’t know what to say, and yet he opens his mouth to argue.

“I care about him.”

Shen Jiu laughs.

“How romantic. How generous. Every devoted husband dreams of hearing he’s merely cared for by their spouse.”

“It’s not just that. I- Of course, I-”

“Can’t even say it to yourself, can you?”

“Binghe knows.” Shen Qingqiu whispers.

“Does he? Or does he think you married him because you’re afraid of what he might’ve done if you didn’t? Or, better yet, does he think you did it out of pity? And yet he’s grateful that you took him in, happy to get any scrap of your attention.”

“That’s not true.” Shen Qingqiu insists.

“Even I couldn’t destroy his self esteem as thoroughly. Great job, Shen Yuan. You rendered a mighty protagonist into a pathetic mutt who knows he’s unloved, but doesn’t have enough self respect to leave.”

“Binghe’s not like that. He’s not. He’s-”

“It’s not his fault.” Shen Jiu shrugs. “You raised him. You made him love you enough that it doesn’t matter if he’s loved in return. Exemplary husband, you are. Truly.”

Shen Qingqiu breaks the mirror.

He wakes up with a start.

“Shizun?” Luo Binghe calls from the other room. Shen Qingqiu hears a shuffle of papers and then soft steps, nearing their bedroom. “Shizun?”

He wants to answer, but he can’t- he can’t breathe.

Luo Binghe comes rushing to the bed, immediately gathering Shen Qingqiu into his arms, holding him close, whispering soft words into his hair.

Shen Qingqiu breaks.

“Binghe.” He gasps through sobs. “Binghe, I’m sorry.”

“Husband has nothing to apologize for.” Luo Binghe says, voice sure and steady.

“No.” Shen Qingqiu cries. “No, no, no. Binghe, this husband failed you.”

“Shizun, don’t say such nonsense.”

Shen Qingqiu raises his head. He has to look his husband in the eye when he says that.

“Binghe, I love you.” He fights to keep his voice steady. “This one loves you so, so much. So much, Binghe. You have to know. I’m sorry I never said. I will do better, I- you have to know.”

Luo Binghe frowns at him, wipes his teary cheeks with shaky hand.

“This one knows.” He says, sounding confused and maybe a little hurt. “Why would Shizun think otherwise?”

“Because I never told you? I rarely kiss you first, I never- I failed as a husband. Binghe’s been perfect, taking care of me, talking about his love for this one for the world to hear, and I failed him. I let him think that he’s not loved, but he is. He is.”

“Shizun.” Luo Binghe leans closer, looking at Shen Qingqiu as if he’s searching for some kind of an answer and if only Shen Qingqiu knew what the question was, he’d give it right away. He’d give him anything. “Husband. I know that you love me. This one knows.”

Shen Qingqiu shudders.

“Binghe does?”

“Of course.”

“But,” Shen Qingqiu whispers. “I never told you?”

“Shizun didn’t have to. This one made it his life mission to study every Shizun’s expression, every movement, every change in the tone of his beautiful voice. He knows his husband, maybe even better than his husband knows himself.”

“Still, I should have-”

“No.” Luo Binghe says. “Husband is doing enough. This one feels very loved, every minute of every day.”

“Binghe.” Shen Qingqiu whines.

“This Binghe is going to have a talk with disciples who planted such silly thoughts in my Shizun’s head.”

“Don’t. They were right, anyway. I should be telling Binghe I love him all the time.”

“You do, husband.” Luo Binghe smiles, soft and sweet. “When you read for me, when you brush my hair extra long, when you get me little presents for no reason at all, when you rant about your silly books. This one is very lucky. He is loved. He knows this.”

Shen Qingqiu crashes against his husband’s chest, feeling almost lightheaded with relief.

“Thank you.” He murmurs. “Thank you, for knowing me so well.”

“It’s this one’s honor to know Shizun.”

Shen Qingqiu holds onto Luo Binghe tighter and doesn’t let go for the rest of the night.

It’s a calm evening. The weather is pleasant, if maybe a touch too warm, but Shen Qingqiu knows that as soon as the sun comes down fully it’ll get better. Luo Binghe and he are walking down the familiar path, taking their customary stroll before they start getting ready to bed. It’s quiet like that on Qing Jing Peak, their routine for when they stay on the mountain. Shen Qingqiu loves it.

As they walk past training ground, disciples’ voices reach them.

“—and once I’m done, Shizun will say I’m his favorite.” One of the younger ones is saying.

Luo Binghe snorts. Shen Qingqiu slows down and shushes him.

“You know he loves that Binghe man the most, A-Tao.”

Shen Qingqiu clears his throat, fighting the blush.

“Does he? He never said so, he just says he’s his favorite. I can be favorite!”

“He never said it in front of you! He’s probably saying it a-all the time when they’re home.”

Shen Qingqiu freezes completely, suddenly feeling uneasy and tense. He feels Luo Binghe go still, too.

“It’s all good, Shizun.” Luo Binghe says a moment later, placating as he always does. “This Binghe is getting tired. Let’s go home?”

They do. They go through their nightly routine, and the evening is still nice and calm, and Shen Qingqiu isn’t nervous, isn’t anxious, isn’t awkward. He’s all good.

He’s never said “I love you” to his husband, but it’s okay. Binghe knows.

He does, right?

[princelylove]

Sometimes it just feels better to turn your brain off and let someone else do aaaallll of the thinking for you.

Dumbification comes in a few different forms. Dollification and bimbofication, mainly. What's the difference?

Wellll. Dollification could be a number of things. People like all different kinds of dolls. Porcelain ones that sit on the shelf and do nothing but collect dust all day, action figures that can be posed, sex dolls that you inflate like a balloon and have your way with, rag dolls that have been through the war, actual stuffed animals, the list goes on. A doll is anything their owner wants them to be that day. That's what playing pretend is all about!

I see quite a few of my yandere interpretations being into dollifcation for their darling. Unfortunately not many for themself, but it's alright.

I think it's obvious that Jotaro loves dolls. Porcelain dolls, those fabric dolls with frilly dresses... he thinks they're just oh-so-cute. It's a shame they break so easily. He usually would go for someone that's already a bit doll-like- maybe their skin resembles porcelain, or their fashion sense makes for an obvious comparison.

I've spoken a bit in the past about Jotaro's fascination with lolita fashion, but it really does make a little too much sense to me. It scratches an itch for him. You either get it or you don't. The 'sweeter' styles- classic lolita, sweet lolita, hime lolita, even gothic lolita, they're all appealing. It's not necessarily the colors, it's about the amount of frills and lace and layers. He probably has a thing for petticoats because of it.

Jotaro's ideal day with his favorite dolly is nothing special. He'd prefer his doll on a shelf, safe and sound from the elements. It's not that he's a collector, it's that his darling is his prized possession. Taking care of it makes sense. He just wishes you'd stop thinking so much.

Yukako thinks you're better when you're finally broken in. You're just so much cuter when you let her dress you up and take you out! It irks her that you're not talking, but she can get you a voice box! Communication cards? Something! Maybe you're just shy. Aha. Ahahahahahahahahahahha.

She thinks a darling with a modern, feminine fashion sense is the cutest. Girly, but fitting for her age. If that isn't what she initially wears, Yukako has no problem gifting her some pieces here and there until her closet is full of cute clothes! Or, just. You know. Kidnapping her and not giving her any say in the matter. Either works. Have fun taking lots of pictures with Yukako!

There's a lot of yandere interpretations of mine that enjoy 'total bombshells,' but what about an actual bimbo? For some yanderes, it's about taking an entirely normal person and making them a mindless slut, for others it's about trapping one out in the wild and taking it home. It's your own little barbie! Or a bratz doll, depending on their style, I guess. Who can really tell?

Pannacotta isn't the type to openly degrade someone, his insults take a second or two to really process. He loves the adorable look on your face while you're thinking about it. Really, he's fine with you dressing however you want to, he just wanted you to know that it's fine in the first place. You know, some people don't prefer their girlfriends to dress like that, but he doesn't mind at all.

He knows how to keep his darling in the mindset. I think I've spoken a bit about Pannacotta's inclination for mind games and conditioning, of course he's into the process of bimbofication. So rewarding to do it himself, even more rewarding to keep his darling in such a state. It's a slow process, but it's worth it. He's more patient than his interactions with Narancia would have you believe. You're not Narancia, are you? Gooood, no you're not. It's simple, really. Reward behaviors you want to repeat, punish behaviors you want to stop. The reward depends on the darling, but the punishment.... it's Pannacotta. You can guess.

His conditioning is very slow. It takes a while to break someone in, but it takes an even longer while to learn someone's exact niche. He starts off by 'helping' with simple things. Things you can absolutely do by yourself, but are currently having an issue with. He'll use a machine for you, like a coffee machine or a ticket machine. Can't think of a word? Tell him the definition, he'll help. Pannacotta's gentle and firm, and fine with taking the time to learn what makes his darling tick. He loves to study, anyway. He'll figure out what his darling appreciates, and harp on it. It's often infantilizing, but hey, Panna's just Like That. Oftentimes both Guido and Narancia will excuse his behavior for him, the guy's a bit of a control freak. Just let him have whatever he's worried about and the guy'll go away.

He likes to emphasize the syllables in 'big' words here and there for you. Slowly says them, even. It's im...pera...tive... that you don't forget to call him back later.

Jolyne has never felt comfortable embracing her girlier side, she appreciates people that are openly feminine and comfortable about it. She just has a sort of mental block when it comes to her own femininity- she used to love being called "Jojo," and God knows what other cutesy, girly names, but now cringes at the thought. To her, femininity is vulnerability, and she's just not ready to embrace her old self again. Pretending- no, really being- tough is her new way of life. A darling that's already feminine, and needs her.... it's hitting a niche she didn't think she'd like.

Honestly, the dumber they are, the better. The first time Jolyne ever heard her darling say "Huuuh?" it was love. She wouldn't consider herself to be above average when it comes to stuff like that, but she's smart enough, in her eyes. She loooves when her darling asks her questions- rely on her. Keep coming to her. No, she's got zero fuckin' idea how half of the shit you're asking about works, but she can read something and sum it up for you. Maybe read it to you, add in a few extra words she thinks you don't know... (Author's note: Jolyne actually does know some niche things, she pulls out a Mobius strip in canon. Her intelligence and creativity is negated by the fact that darling is probably asking if she knows if there's carbs in butter. No idea, sweetheart.... no idea. Let's go look.)

Jolyne isn't really one for mind games, so breaking in her darling isn't going to come naturally. She's more likely to fall for someone that's already like that, or shows signs of it. Jolyne's someone that struggles to use her words, but finds it easy to do things for someone she likes or bring them gifts. Girls like you like makeup, yeah? Here. She'll leave it where only you could find it- assuming you're both in jail, she'd put it in your bed, under the covers. Seriously prays you aren't all tuckered out after headcount and don't just drop your dead weight on this palette she had to fork over a benjamin for....

It's worth it when she gets to watch your lips as you talk. Perfect, glossy.... sooo much happier now that she's helping you express yourself... Huh? She heard you, yeah. Say it again though, but slower...

[theshadowrealmitself]

Okay my favorite batshit au for Spiderman that’s incredibly self indulgent to me is:

Peter starts out as a Spider mutant, of course no one really knows this because he’s a very quiet and cautious kid and the stuff he has isn’t that noticeable to other people

On top of that, due to the age gap between his dad and his uncle, Ben and May already old when they take in young Peter (closer to comic canon), which comes with the side effects of being raised by older legal guardians

Side effects like because of their age they’re so tired when they come home from work that they can’t really give Peter the attention and energy that he needs and they want to give him, and because they’re always so tired and old and stuff, Peter, who’s already an obedient kid, doesn’t want to make their lives harder and their health worse, hides away anything that can upset them

(This is very important because it explains how Peter gets away with so much as a kid, there’s gonna be a lot of well meaning neglect in this au, and is also the very beginning of that deep anger taking seed inside of him, he feels can’t show emotion about his parents abandoning him, can’t make a fuss about Flash bullying him because the school won’t help and it’ll only stress out his aunt and uncle, he just feels like he can’t show anything and has no outlet for it all)

So Peter, even before going to live with his aunt and uncle didn’t get much attention because his parents were focused on their research and trying not to get killed, and then after moving in with them, feels like he has to make his presence as little as possible

He becomes a very, very independent little kid, even though May and Ben keep trying to let him know he can just be a kid, it’s okay, but at some point one of them has a health scare, there’s the hospital bill from it and the possible chance of future medical bills, so both adults start working more and more hours to afford all that

Which leaves poor Peter alone most of the time, he doesn’t want to make a fuss so he just accepts, and because the adults are too busy to really sit down and coordinate their time together, they don’t even realize how much they’ve left him on his own, thinking that the other adult was helping him

Peter gets himself up for school, washes the laundry, cleans what he cans, and cooks himself breakfast and maybe makes some for Ben or May if they haven’t left yet, packs his own lunch, then he’s responsible for getting himself on the bus to school (where he gets bullied all day), and then getting back to school, then because of the hours they’re working, he usually comes back to an empty house and makes everyone dinner, eats his, then puts himself to bed early after doing homework alone

At this point, Peter is now 10 years old, he’s formed a new friendship with his next door neighbor, MJ, who’s being purposely neglected by her shitty angry drunk dad, and another boy at school, Harry, who’s being emotionally neglected by his dad

The three of them start hanging out at Oscorp and getting to see the new stuff that the company is developing before it’s put out, one of those things is radioactive spiders, and one of the spiders with specific markings becomes Peter’s favorite

After some time, Norman makes a deal with the army to sell one of the spiders to them because of their own research with radioactive bio specimens, unfortunately, the spider he sells is Peter’s favorite one

For the first time in his life, Peter decides to try and be vocal about something he wants, but he’s too scared to interrupt Norman’s conversation, too used to being quiet, so he follows Norman along, waiting for a break in the conversation to ask him to sell a different spider, just following aaaallll the way to the army base, just being so quiet that no one notices him

Norman makes the handoff and Peter ends up following the spider, eventually getting his hands on it and accidentally releasing it from its container where it then bites Peter

Now remember, Peter was already a mutant, these spider mutant powers already included super strength, climbing on walls, and being able to produce webs, and also because being Spidery was a core part of his being, he has also has a ton of spider behaviors and instincts that he has to constantly fight to appear normal in public so no one calls his relatives and stress them out

After the bite, all of the hair on his body, not just the hair on his head, but the body hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, just everywhere, becomes bright red and blue patterned, his eyesight becomes supernaturally incredible, but when he uses his eyes like that, they become entirely black, I’m talking pupil, iris, and the whites become a dark inky black, and when he’s not using it, his eyes look normal, but his eyesight is back to being crap, he also now has fangs that produce a high intensity venom, and his super strength becomes so much stronger than it was before

These effects start slowly taking over as Peter starts wandering around with his spider, that he’s already forgiven for biting him because of course the poor thing is scared, trying to find an exit, but instead he stumbles upon the other radioactive specimen in the army’s care: the Hulk

Peter, being the sweet kid he is, lets the Hulk out and the Hulk remembers that and becomes a lifetime friend of “bug-man’s” from that, and the two escape the army base with the cameras capturing footage of a blue and red spidery creature helping the Hulk, starting Norman Osborn’s lifetime hatred for Spiderman (no one notices Peter’s excursion which takes a couple of days getting back home because quiet kid, kinda being neglected, teachers didn’t even mark him absent because they didn’t notice he hadn’t actually showed up, etc)

Peter is now visibly a mutant and so his friend and neighbor MJ notices immediately when he comes back and helps him out immediately even though she likes his new look, but it gives her a chance to try out makeup looks and hair dyes on someone else, and that’s what starts them becoming best friends, MJ starts hanging out more at his house to get away from her home life, Peter isn’t so alone anymore, it works out great for the two kids and starts Peter’s huge crush on her since this is the first time he’s actually been close and open with another person

(Also cause of the neglect, man it feels awful saying May and Ben neglected him in this au but there’s no other way to put it, Peter doesn’t ever return to the doctors and get checkups, and no one investigates because fuck it they lost Peter’s file or something)

Peter and Harry don’t have that moment where they suddenly intensely bond over something, but over the next four years, the three of them slowly become inseparable, to the point that many times MJ and Peter forget that they haven’t shared their big secret with Harry

(Although Peter hasn’t become a vigilante yet, him and MJ still go off and have adventures during this time, like helping the Hulk or meeting up with the x-men, this ends up being another thing that helps him hide his identity as cameras keep picking up grainy images of him without the stuff he uses to hide his looks at school and of course no one’s gonna assume a kid is out doing these things, so Spiderman, when he makes his debut, has to be much older than the Parker kid is what everyone thinks)

So instead of the spider bite being what causes his fight with Uncle Ben leading to him running out and consequently his uncle dying, it’s Harry finding out that MJ and Peter had this secret they hadn’t been sharing with him, and Peter’s resentment at not being able to go to his relatives for advice because how would he even explain any of that to them?? He doesn’t even know how they feel about mutants much less a mutant who’s now been made radioactive!! That causes his anger issues acting up and then the origin story with Uncle Ben except now his death includes him apologizing to Peter for not being there more often and knowing that he’s a mutant (but not the other stuff) and letting him know that he’s okay with it and he’s sorry he made Peter feel like he couldn’t share that with him

This is depressing for everyone, because even though him and Aunt May dropped the ball a lot (in this specific au), he was still a great relative when he was able to be there for him, he was also a great adult figure to MJ and Harry

So after that, all 3 of them decide to get into the vigilante business, with Peter being the face of it since he’s the only one that could actually handle fights and stuff (but with Harry’s money and Peter’s smarts they do end up making equipment for Harry and MJ), just these 3 little traumatized, neglected 14 year olds forming a vigilante group together

They find an Oscorp warehouse that Norman forgot about, put it in Harry’s name, and completely reinvented it to be their base, and over time it becomes less lonely, at first it’s just the Hulk hiding out there occasionally, maybe some x-men they befriended, but once they turn 18 and Spiderman becomes less of a cryptid and starts actively putting himself out there (because Harry and MJ couldn’t stand the idea of losing him so they made him promise to stay out of the limelight) their group starts really taking off

(Getting people like Gwen Stacy, Daredevil, Nova, Iron Fist, White Tiger, Power Man, Wolverine, Venom, Squirrel Girl, etc)

While staying completely hidden from SHIELD the entire time, Nick Fury doesn’t find out for ages that all these other heroes were secretly connected to Spiderman and had a base together this whole time

And eventually of course Miles joins, with his origin story being that he found Spiderman on the brink of death, saved him, accidentally got pierced by one of his venomous fangs, which acted the same way a bite from a radioactive spider would affect him, which is not something any of them had known, apparently a full on bite would kill a person, but a tiny amount of venom makes them radioactive, so that’s something to worry about now

Miles’ uncle eventually joins their little superhero gang sometime after that because it’s my self indulgent au and I want that kid to be happy with his family

Also after Uncle Ben’s death, Aunt May makes a concentrated effort to actually full on be there for Peter and all his friends, it doesn’t magically make his childhood better, but it’s healing

And a good portion about this is: Peter’s identity being so hard to find because how he shows himself in his civilian life isn’t what he actually looks like, so when his mask gets ripped off there’s not actually much to worry about, doesn’t mean he’s not still doing The Most™️ to hide his identity to protect not only Aunt May now but also his group

And also I wanted him to be as strong as possible, like could fight Superman strong, as well as have all these abilities that would make you think he’d be a part of the avengers fighting aliens and stuff and he’s just like “I really gotta dedicate all my attention to stopping muggers and bank robbers” because that’s so him

Also I think he’d look incredibly pretty with the red and blue coloring as well as the completely black eyes, and because it’s funny to me, while the Hulk is a part of them, Bruce Banner has no memory of this in the slightest, and Johnny Storm is pissed when he finds out Spidey has a hero team with a base that he didn’t invite him to

The neglect and stuff also really ties into not joining SHIELD, because Peter is still the unofficial leader of the group and he's not used to depending on others, but also he's worried about SHIELD trying to force him to become a big named hero when he does just want to stop robbers, and he's terrified of SHIELD knowing his and his friends' identities and what danger that could lead to for them

There’s probably a ton I forgot to put down but this post is already so long 😭 lemme know if anyone has any questions!! would love to answer any

[phunockery]

Trigger warning allergic reaction, random etymology facts pertaining to sexual acts, talking about death, the melodrama of trying not to die.

(Spoilers) If you're reading this, it means I survived the night.

This is a timed log after finding out I poisoned myself. I don't think I'll die from it but this sucks and I'm feeling emotional and melodramatic.

11:00ish

If I die tomorrow, I didn't mean to. I promise. I just wanted a drink. I usually don't, it usually upsets my stomach. But tomorrow I turn 34 and I was feeling frisky and wanted something to drink while I play my traditional birthday (and sad mood) game: Sonic 2. So I grab a Kirkland hard seltzer from the fridge. Never tried the brand, but it was black cherry and I like that.

I decided to try to time some of my runs, nothing serious. Beat a couple of my pbs feeling good.

After drinking about 1/4th of the seltzer and I notice that my head is feeling funny and I wonder how a 5% drink was making me feel like that. My game play gets bad, but I beat my PB on Chemical Plant 2.

Aquatic Zone is a mess, mild improvement in act 2... And I start feeling itchy. Hives are building. I grab some Benadryl, chew two and as my chest tightens I look up what could be causing this.

11:15

Apparently there is a filtering process called finning that run the alcohol through animal products, like gelatin.

That comes from pigs.

That I am deathly allergic to.

The company does not have to disclose this information and honestly this a best guess, because what else would make me allergic to an alcoholic beverage?

Now I am sitting here, trying to differenciate anxiety and anaphylaxis. Taking deep breaths, epi pen in hand. I'm not going to call 911 because I can't afford it, if you're mad, join the club. (🦅 Insert screams of eagles and freedom here 🇺🇲)

It's almost midnight. I am almost 34 and I am live blogging my allergic reaction because I have nothing else to do

'call 911' that is far too expensive and I don't want to leave my kids with massive amounts of debt because I decided to get treatment (eagle screaming and freedom noises here 🦅)

I messaged a few friends, but they're busy. My friend is probably going to kill me in the morning when she sees this if I'm not already dead.

I'll probably live... I once survived a wedding where the brides mother unintentionally tried to kill me. I was lucky then because there was a doctor in the house... But that was worse. I had lost my ability to breathe immediately.

I'm just itchy. Soooo itchy. I am covered in hives... It doesn't help that my other friend made dinner and no one put cast iron that has cooked bacon and allergy together yesterday... Which I suffered for. Granted I suffered less then than I am now. Now now, but still itchy and cramps.

11:30

I hope to make it to cramps. I should. I can still breath. I am just so itchy. I hate this. I should be getting rest so I can pretend to have a good birthday. Instead I will pretend to have a good birthday and deal with aaaallll the fallout of having a full allergic reaction.

11:35

Chest is no longer feeling tight. A friend has message saying they are going to bed. I sent a message asking if they have a few moments to just sit with me. I think it was too late, they're offline.

11:40 I'm still itchy. My legs, my arms, my scalp, my chest, my armpits... It all itches. This really sucks. (Remembers that sucks used to be a euphemism for bjs and this fact gives me the chuckles of strength).

11:45

double checked messages to other friends. All unread. Some are online, some are not. But I am still alone so you, future reader, remain my emotional support pen-pal.

The skin around my eyes is itchy like I was crying. I don't think I've been crying. I'm upset, but not like that.

Good news: this won't be my worst birthday.

My worst birthday was in 2009. I was BMT for the USAF and on my 19th birthday, two days before graduating, I was acting unusually confused, was sent to the hospital and diagnosed with viral meningitis. I was booted from the USAF shortly after recovering.

11:50 Hell this isn't even as bad the last 7 years that just got progressively worse. I was let go of my job on my 30th birthday and became disabled two days later. (Barely related). Last year I was coerced into going to a water park (I don't do good with loud noises any more) and I wound up breaking a tooth trying to swim in the shallow waters. My ex was not comforting about it and suggested that I not make a scene in front of my kids because they would get upset.

11:55 I can breathe a bit easier. Still left unseen and I turn 34 in 5 minutes.

3 minutes to go and I am trying to fight the sleepy of the Benny's until I feel less itchy.

2 more minutes, I really hope I don't die, my friends don't deserve to have a corpse in their guest room

12:05 made a happy birthday post on TikTok. My voice is definitely affected, but I can talk and breath.

Still left on unseen. I feel bad that they're going to wake up and find out that a friend reached out for help and help wasn't available. That is going to suck. Hopefully I'm still alive and can tell them they're good and deserve sleep.

12:20 a rando has become the first to wish me a happy birthday. A friend messaged to let me know they're glad I'm safe and they're going to bed so they can work in the morning. They hope I find someone to talk to. It looks like it is just you and me

12:23 the stomach has put in its bid for attention. I will spare you the details. The Benny's are taking effect. I am soooo tired and the body itches slightly less. Except around the eyes, it still feels like I've been crying

12:29 my apologies to my friend: I fear I have destroyed your toilet. It should be fine in the morning.

12:30 the stomach still hates me. I hate me. I just want to go to bed.

12:40 tired. Imma go to bed with my Epi Pen on the bedside table. I wake up to everything anyways. The sudden inescapable lack of breath should be more than enough to wake.

I could really use a 'there there's and a hug. And now my eyes are itchy again, at least I know why this time.

Good night.

[unoisveimved-un-proffesional]

Lots of thoughts not really important.

I kiiiiiinnnnda feel like a hypocrite going on about "Local Community Action" when like, I remain indoors for sometimes days and am, not doing anything like that really, but that's because I have my share of issues, it's all personal problems that I'm trying to work on on to eventually start getting out and working on bigger things, get myself in a position where I can do that. It doesn't matter if a ship is 10% done or 90% done, anything less than 100 won't sail, and it definitely won't swim.

You know it's not my choice to not be doing what I want to do, what I'd love to be doing, I'd fucking love so goddamn much to talk with actually like minded people who I can trust on some level, and do real work, I want to stretch my arms and legs on something and really get some mileage out of my body, my voice, fingers, and shoulders. You know I'm not choosing not to, I can't in the state I'm in, and my efforts need to be going first to, fixing aaaallll thiiis (gesturing to me and my everything) before I can really get out there.

I'm coming down off of losing everything, literally, half of what I owned on top of and including a piece of land I (almost) owned, (including so much fucking construction grade wood, steel, tarps, tools, an RV packed full of shit, VHS tapes, two generators (one stopped working, there was a third one that was stolen) and a car, so much really) putting me into homelessness until I got an apartment and then was wrongfully evicted and made homeless again before striking a good deal on this trailer I was just housesitting and planning to eventually squat in since it hadn't been touched in forever. Hell before I started paying for an acre and a half of land I was homeless staying out of an old friends spare room, because before that, I was living in a camp ground moving lot to lot every week so I couldn't be legally removed. Before that, it was a different camp ground, before that it was someone else's (crack)house, before that I don't even remember, probably because of the drinking. I've had it rough, on top of personality shit like trauma and disorders, aaaaaallll thiiiisss (gesturing to me and my everything)

And I still fucking housed and fed other people, (who maybe I shouldn't have) built houses for people, on a shoestring and button budget but I still did it, and gave my money to hobo's and charities and all that. Hell it's probably why I'm not currently in a better situation.

Maybe joining some kind of, something would improve my life directly, like I'd get donations to help with my poverty or something, and be put to work and paid, but I always just assume based on experience something like that would ask more from me than I'd get from it. I don't want to have to ask for help, I should be there to help people. Another one of my issues on top of, aaaalllll thiiiisss, (you know).

[sunsetcurveofficial]

read parts 1-7 (completed) here on ao3

New Year’s Eve 1986 (part 1)

Steve Harrington is pleasantly buzzed from the bottle of wine that he stole from his Dad’s wine cellar and that he’s had all by himself when midnight approaches on New Year’s Eve in 1986. The whole gang is gathered in his house, and Steve is glad to see the place filled with life for once. His parents haven’t been home since Vecna ripped Hawkins apart, and Steve doesn’t think they intend to return. They bought an apartment in Chicago, and apparently, his mother loves it so much, she wants to stay there permanently. Steve doesn’t think it’s the full reason his parents left him behind in Hawkins, though. They would never tell him, but he knows they’re disappointed in him, and the catastrophic events around Hawkins probably just topped it all off. Steve is unsure if he’ll ever see them again and he doesn’t know how to feel about that. He doesn’t want to dwell on it either, so he occupies his mind with alcohol while he stares at Eddie Munson across the room, watching as he tells the kids a story and throws his entire body into it as he makes it come to life in front of them, gestures and movements so dramatic, Steve’s kind of entranced by it even though he can’t make out what he’s saying.

“Eddie’s got you under his spell again?” Robin asks, and Steve didn’t even notice her approaching, so he nearly spills his drink when she rips him rather violently out of his trance.

“For fuck’s sake, Rob,” he curses. “Warn a man next time.”

Robin chuckles, throwing an arm around his shoulders and squeezing him into a sideways hug. He can tell she’s not entirely sober by that alone, cause Robin is never a hugger unless she’s had a drink or two.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re so obsessed with him that you tune everything else out.”

Steve rolls his eyes and shoves her away from him.

“I’m not obsessed with him,” he murmurs, knowing full well that’s not entirely true. He’s not about to admit it, though.

“Sure you’re not.” Robin cackles like a witch, and Steve gives her his most deadly glare in response. “You didn’t break your arm while playing basketball because you were too busy staring at him either. Totally unrelated events. Or that time when you dropped an entire stack of rewound tapes because he came into the shop and called you sweetheart. Ooor when Will came out to all of us and you literally zoned out because you were staring at Eddie instead of listening to the kid and I had to tell you again after we left. No relation at aaaallll,” she drawls, and Steve feels his cheeks heat up as he empties his glass. Robin might not be wrong with her list of isolated events, exactly— but it’s only because Eddie is pretty noticeable, alright? It’s not Steve’s fault that the guy knows how to get the attention of everyone in the room upon entering it.

Robin chuckles again and Steve kind of wishes a new portal to the Upside Down would open up just so he could push her through it and get some peace.

“I’m onto you, dingus. You’ve got a crush and his name is Eddie Munson. I don’t care if you claim you’re straight. My gaydar works impeccably and you, my friend, are gay for a certain brown-eyed metalhead.”

Steve reaches over to calm a hand over Robin’s mouth, frantically looking around them to make sure no one’s heard her theory that might not be entirely made up from thin air. He doesn’t know, okay? He never thought about the possibility before he found himself daydreaming about the freak from Hawkins High of all people. Eddie Munson. Goddamn him.

“Robin, I told you. I’m not gay. I like girls.” That part is not a lie, at least. Honestly, Steve is mostly just confused these days. So goddamn confused.

“Well, duh. That doesn’t mean you don’t like Eddie too, though. You could be bisexual.”

“Bisexual?” Steve frowns, trying to remember where he’s heard the term before. Robin slaps him around the back of his head.

“I explained that to you last time, but you zoned out then too because you were too busy watching Eddie on the dance floor.”

And well, okay. Maybe it is kind of becoming a problem that he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from Eddie whenever they’re in a room together.

“Just tell me again, Rob,” Steve says with a sigh, and Robin kindly complies, which in turn leads to several lightbulbs switching on in his head. Bisexual. It makes sense to him, but a voice in his head tells him that if he calls himself bisexual, it also means that he admits that he likes Eddie, which he doesn’t. He’s always been brilliant at lying to himself. So he sends Robin away to tend to her girlfriend and goes back to staring at Eddie instead, nursing a new drink while he feels a little sorry for himself. It would’ve been so much easier to just be as straight as he always assumed he was.

When it’s time for the New Year’s countdown, Steve finds himself next to Eddie as everyone is gathering around the pool to watch the fireworks. Everyone else is paired up - Dustin and Suzie, Robin and Vickie, Nancy and Jonathan, Mike and Will, Eleven and Max, and Lucas and his new girlfriend - and Steve watches them all gloomily as they prepare for their New Year’s kisses. Eddie grins stupidly at him, seemingly unfazed by the fact that he and Steve are the odd ones out. It makes something twinge in his stomach, and Steve wishes he had brought his drink out with him.

“Looks like it’s just you and me going without a New Year’s kiss this year, Harrington,” Eddie says, bumping his shoulder into Steve’s. “I’ve been told it’s bad luck, but how much worse can ours really get, eh?”

Steve snorts, finally daring to meet Eddie’s eyes. Eddie’s smile is almost blinding in the dimly lit pool area, and Steve wonders faintly how the hell that’s possible. Eddie leans a little closer, and the twinge in his stomach turns into a full-on flutter.

“Unless you don’t wanna risk it and pucker up, big boy,” Eddie says with a shrug, impossibly close now, and Steve’s heart suddenly beats so loudly, he can barely hear the others counting down the seconds. He knows Eddie is just joking, teasing him to rile him up, but god fucking damn it if Steve doesn’t want to kiss him. It kind of feels like he’s going to die if he doesn’t.

“…3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!” their friends yell, and Eddie’s staring at his lips as he wishes him a happy new year in a much softer voice. Something snaps and Steve takes his face in his hands before he leans all the way in and kisses him. It’s soft despite its urgency, and the surprised gasp that escapes from Eddie’s mouth makes Steve pull him even closer as he licks over the seam of his chapped lips. Eddie’s hands are on his waist and judging by the way he kisses him back, Steve gets the faint idea that he’s not the only one who really wanted this kiss.

“Happy New Year, Munson,” Steve says against his lips just before he pulls away, panting heavily as he finally gets fresh air back into his lungs. Eddie looks dazed as he salutes him and does a little bow.

“Yeah, Happy fucking New Year to me indeed,” he comments breathlessly. “I’ll be damned, Stevie.”

Steve smiles at him, trying his best to calm the raging swarm of butterflies in his chest. He’s bisexual then, alright. Robin grins stupidly at him from a few feet away, sending him a thumbs up, and Steve rolls his eyes as he flips her off. She might have won, but that doesn’t mean that Steve’s going to help her celebrate. He doesn’t have to either, because Henderson drags him away from Eddie before he can say anything else, asking excitedly if he really just saw him kissing Eddie and if that means he’s in love with him and they’re gonna be boyfriends and why he’s never told him he likes guys. And Steve thinks he should’ve gone to Robin to celebrate her win after all as the little gremlin grills him relentlessly. At least it distracts him from the onslaught of butterflies in his chest.

[variousqueerthings]

fear makes companions of us all

I was letting a friend know about my little watch and ratings thing, and by chance he's a few episodes ahead and he described the opening of this era as joyless. and yeah, it's. it's a bit. I'm slogging, I really am (luckily next episode is Time Heist!!!)

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 4/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 4/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 3/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 4/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 4/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 5/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 3/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 7/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 5/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 6/10

FULL RATING: 46/100 (if I can count….)

oh this is such a weird one. a mystery that isn't a mystery, a recontextualisation that makes earlier lore worse, a messy forwards and backwards that's sort of centred around a date between Clara and Danny Pink, but doesn't manage to centre it, an insight into the Doctor that tells us nothing new...

OBJECTIFICATION: so Clara is on a date, which means that the Doctor for some reason is constantly commenting on her appearance. AAAallll the time. it's not technically the most egregious example of this on the show, but the fact that it's coming from the Doctor and it's directed at his companion, it's just got a low-level patriarchal discomfort the entire time

PLOT-POINT: Clara is on a date and she made a joke that made Danny uncomfortable (which, Danny being a soldier isn't the main point I'll make about this episode, because I don't remember where it goes at the moment), and then they go back in time and meet kid!Danny who's an orphan, and future descendant of Danny who's at the end of the Universe, and then way way back to the Doctor's personal timestream to meet kid!Doctor, whom she comforts

you get the point here? the point is that this is not about Clara, even though it's Clara's date that this thing all attempts to twirl around

I'd say the one thing is that she knows a bit more about Danny now

COMPLEXITY: oohohohooo for a plot that's not really a plot, it's all over the damn place. there's the date, there's two different pasts, the end of the universe, and it's all to find something that doesn't exist. and on some level the Doctor driving themself up the wall with nothing to do isn't bad, but it's just a pointlessly involved plot to get to a particular point that I'm not convinced is a point at all

it's really all about the callbacks, which we will get to...

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: the Doctor's meanness is ramping up. will Clara eventually start calling that out? the Doctor fully yells at her in this one, and it's disconcerting -- I don't know that it was the right choice, even though we're going by an edgier Doctor this time around

there's a careful balance of the Doctor being compelling to watch, which is heavily influenced by their treatment of their companion. if the Doctor is dismissive, cruel, hypocritical towards their companion I need a damned good reason, beyond "this time around my feelings are just a flipping mess"

Danny is an orphan who grew up afraid of the dark (and with something on his bed?) and met Clara as a kid briefly

oh the Doctor was raised in a barn, literally... no, we'll get to some of this in a point further down... and the Doctor was bad at being good at soldiering and was a softy I guess? no, I'll take that, Beta Shrigma was an emotional sad mess of a child, of course

COMPANIONS MATTER: Clara's just running around after the Doctor in this one, buuuut she's there to provide emotional support to both a young Danny and a young Doctor

in fact, it's highly suggested that Clara not only inspired the sonic screwdriver, but also inserted the idea of the Doctor not pressing the big button during the timewar, through the power of being in the right place at the right time I guess

we will get more into that!

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the Doctor isn't technically godlike in this one, but it is in the end all about the Doctor, specifically the Doctor as someone who has a brain that's very loud (which we know) who doesn't let things go (which we know) and wasn't a natural fit for the academy (which... ok we only know that for sure if we watched classic who or read the novels or heard some audio, but it's definitely inferred in nu!who as well)

in a way it feels like it's about calming the Doctor down, which could be an interesting episode in the sense of "the Doctor as neurodivergent and mental health issues coded" but instead isn't interested in those things, beyond forgiving every temper tantrum the character has, because the Doctor is deeper than other characters and was sad as a child

there's... a nugget in this. it is not enough for it to be a good plot

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: oh hey, remember how Clara inspired the Tardis and nobody liked that plotpoint? she also inspired the screwdriver, affirmed the Doctor's idk... latent pacifist ideals, and planted the idea not to end the Time War in a bad way

and if that wasn't enough, she also first said a line that's kind of iconic from the very very first serial "fear makes companions of us all."

it's fascinating in the way M*ffat both doesn't seem interested in Clara much beyond what she can do for the Doctor, but then also needs to make her the originator of any and all of the most important parts of DW lore... or maybe... it's just that his imprint needs to be all over original DW lore. conspiracy theory with no stakes unlocked

no but seriously, M*ffat's versions of Classic!Who lore only cheapen the original narratives, and I wish he'd stop. ironically he also fucks with his own lore by not making the undoing of the Time Lord genocide a choice that the Doctor makes based on their own journey, but also something randomly implanted way back as a kid

it's similar to the way he would bring back the Angels over and over again, and to the way I know he's about to bring the core principle of Silence of the Library back again and again, and the "little kid who met someone they will want to make out with as an adult" plotline -- here gender subversed because it's a young Danny meeting Clara as a kid (does he not remember that?) or super special sexy scary woman who's a series of mysteries, rather than a character

my guy has his core Things and he beats at them until there's no blood left, it's truly a fascinating thing to watch someone fucking with their own lore

I confess I did read a bit of others' opinions on the wikipedia after writing above and truly wish to know what they saw that I didn't. "an interrogation of the Doctor's character"? huh?

also this episode was nominated for a Bram Stoker award, and that's also shocking to me. it's not... scary? or even that compelling as scifi. the idea of mystery at the end is a non-idea, even considering there presumably was a creature around and about, and that the Doctor figured out what it was (we don't, because fuck us)

the more I think about this episode, the less I like it

“SEXINESS”: nothing beyond the weirdness of how Clara is classified via her looks. why would the Doctor care? why would the Doctor -- if written as someone who doesn't care -- be mean about it? it's not technically "sexiness" but it feels in the same vibe of things, as it's about the jokes of sexiness

INTERNAL WORLD: I mean, it's... Clara's still a teacher on a date. the Tardis is there. Danny has a little more depth. apparently the Doctor slept in that barn he would eventually Not Destroy Gallifrey from

it's just kind of bland. Oh, Danny's descendant somehow travelled to the end of the Universe I guess. I'll allow that scifi stuff got them into the barn, since the Doctor was unconscious, but it doesn't tell us anything of interest

the world is backdrop, but not fleshed out backdrop

POLITICS: apart from the rampant body-shaming of Clara, this episode doesn't have much to say on soldiering, surprisingly, considering it

a. starts on that ill-fated date with A Joke About Killing Someone which goes awry (because it's kind of a fucked up thing to say to someone you're into)

b. has a continuous thread of little soldier figurines, of which one of them noticeably doesn't seem to have a weapon and is preferred

c. that figurine is given to the Doctor, who is a kid that is considered ill-suited to go to the academy to "learn to be a soldier" (which, I have questions about lore within that, as far as I'm aware there's more to the academy than that, but I'm not sure enough to make that A Point)

there is this one rant Danny goes on about how they "dug wells" and it wasn't all shooting people, but this is something I might talk more about in future, because, well... I mean I'm against the military institution, and considering Danny was an orphan there could be narrative about how those institutions target vulnerable teens, and as a Black man who's possibly navigating ideas of how people perceive him and what it means for white kids to ask if he's ever killed a person... who am I kidding, this won't matter will it?

however, I know there's more coming up, so I won't dwell too heavily on it, but it is a missed opportunity to ground this story thematically, to connect Danny and the Doctor, since there is no grounding

it is a groundless helium balloon of an episode

[lexa-griffins]

Clarke ties Lexa up and blindfolds her. Gets her all excited and wet only to go about her daily routine to work Lexa up.

That is so meeeeaannn of Clarke 😣.............. 😈

Its the first weekend their schedules align in a good while, and they can finally spend the entire day with just each other, something Clarke keeps putting emphasis on, "we have aaaallll day baby."

Lexa is already a dripping mess when Clarke finally busts out the ties and the blindfold, she is so ready for a full day of being fucked and restrained, she's been practically begging for this, she's tense and feels the immense need to simply forget about everything that isnt Clarke making her cum.

Shes completely baked and sprawled across their bed, hands tied to the bed, her legs free under the promise she'll behave and let Clarke move them at will, her favorite red silk blindfold across her eyes. And Clarke doesn't disappoint, she lets her finger and her mouth cover every inch of Lexa, accompanied by praise and how much she loves every patch of skin she passes by until she finally reaches Lexa's core and then...

Nothing.

No mouth, no fingers.

"Clarke?"

"Yes baby?" She sounds far away now, no longer merely inches away from where Lexa needs her most.

"I- why-"

"Use your words baby, we've talked about this"

Lexa takes a deep breath. She's still learning this whole new world.

"I need you."

"Ow, I know you do, baby." She can hear Clarke approach the bed again, feels her weight on the matress, and her hand on her stomach, "but you gotta wait. I did say we have all day, didn't I?"

Lexa hates how her whine causes Clarke to chuckle, low and raspy, and how in return it makes Lexa even wetter.

A kiss between her breasts makes her tremble, and soon after, Clarke is gone from her side.

"They ended up scheduling a meeting for day after all. It'll be short, I promise. Will you be good while gone?" Her tone is sweet and gentle, mocking almost.

Lexa can feel the sheets growing wetter underneath her, the coldness of the room against her chest.

"Lexa. Answer me. Will you?" Her demeanor changes, harsher now, berating her for not answering her the first time around.

"I will." Lexa finds her voice does not want to come out, her mind focused on little pressure closing her thighs offers.

"You will what?" Softer around the edges now, but the tone still makes Lexa's breathing itch.

"I will be good."

Lexa can almost hear her smile, "I know you will. My good girl." The sudden change, the overwhelmingly pride in her voice, now back to the smoothness of honey, sends a new wave of arousal through Lexa's being, the title Clarke knows she lives to hear so much playing on repeat, "Half an hout baby. Hold still."

And with that, she's gone.

[stickerdoesstuff24-7]

So I've been working on a REALLY dark and gross Gravity Falls fanfic that's a bit of a Bill Cipher redemption fic in honor of The Book Of Bill and bc I feel like most people don't quite understand him or quite get the... 'essence?' of his character right (no offense tho bc I still love them and all the fun they have with him). I've had it out of AO3, Wattpad, and Quotev for a bit now, it's got 2 chapters released so far, I'm still working on the 3rd, but I was like... Not sure if I should promote it here. It's.. REALLY.. REALLY dark.. or at least going to be.

Also, Endless Battles is still in the works, and I finally have a perfect first chapter for it underway, and I also have another project that's ready for beta readers I'ma be posting too, but with even slower progress than the other 2 right now. I have yet a 4th & 5th project I'll talk about later that'll also be coming out soon.

Aaaaaand a 6th & 7th that's probably not gonna see much of the light of day until this time next year or later due to the same complications as Endless Battles, and the others needing to take higher priority right now anyway. I'll see about starting some sneak peaks for one of them at some point because it is a fanfic for a fandom that talks about headcanons AAAALLLL the time, lol.

FEEL FREE TO ASK ANY QUESTIONS!!! 👍

[cinhomi]

Don’t worry, he’s 100% telling this things and then whimpering “oh, my god” putting it in and asking if you’re close and permission to come (all while holding hands)

i’m ot1 at this rate kill me

I'm a firm believer of switch Jisungie. I just know my baby is a switch. he can't be anything else. the duality he holds... it's just out of this world 🫠

I'd write something about it, but I can't come up with anything, I'm tired!!! I just need a good pounding session from that little guy to feel better 😩 his dick would solve aaaallll my problems fo sho 🙂‍↕️

[littlemissmanga]

Let me take you on my unhinged journey ...

"I mean, who'd need to hire male dancers when aaaallll this is right here already?" he crooned, running his hands up and down his chest.

FIVES I cannot handle your unearned confidence!

With his eyes on yours, he leaned in close, breath hot on your ear as he said, “Damn, mesh’la,” then, again in time with the lyrics, “the things I would do to you.”

OK ... it's earned. STOP BEING AN ARC AND GO BE A STRIPPER. For all our sakes

Then, when your own gaze started to wander down his body, he took that same hand and tapped your chin. “Eyes on mine, mesh’la.” And when you obeyed, finally, he touched you.

My exact thoughts: "Oh no, Kix is taking this seriously. I'm in trouble."

The medic rolled his whole body into the motion, slow, deliberate, and letting his action sink into you as his hips met yours. His thrusts were deep and he only pulled back for another one when the beat allowed for it. Somewhere, probably in another life where Kix wasn’t gazing at you like a goddess, someone said, “Why does this feel even dirtier than Fives’ dance-?”

Somewhere, probably in another life, I'd be coherent enough to react properly. HOW IS READER NOT FIFTY SHADES OF RED AND MELTING????

Or at least, he would have, if Jesse hadn’t jumped up then. “Oh no, baby, you stay right there. Fives and Kix can’t have all the fun. I think it’s only fair that all of us get to show off our potential.”

Jesse!??? Smooth, sensual Juicy Jesse who's got the moves of Channing Tatum (in my mind) is Step(ping) Up!??? I may not survive this fic.

He didn’t stop there, of course. Making sure it caught your eye, he trailed the cherry down his chest until it met bare skin. Juice from the fruit collected in the dips of Jesse’s abs as he rubbed it across his stomach. It was your turn to lick your lips, which pleased him even more. “Come here, mesh’la, I’ll let you have a taste-”

I wanna taste. My tongue wasn't out, what you talking about?

Like on the one hand, I am sad I didn't get to read Jesse's dance. On the other hand, I may not have survived.

Deeja, I am so glad you watched these movies but you have unlocked a power we all need to be careful around. GAT DAMN.

Five-Oh-Thirst (501st x Fem!Reader) Part One

Summary: One little comment sends the night spiraling into hilarious, shameless territory as the boys show you their best lap dances.

A.N. IDK, man, I just really want the 501st boys to be exotic dancers and I figured I'd share that! Please don't take this seriously, it's just for fun and debauchery <3 Also, I highly recommend listening to the songs I link as you read! Enhances the ~experience~

Word Count: 3,174

Warnings: 18+ (minors DNI), drinking, the boys being way too hot and thirsty for you, lap dances, and general debauchery

It all started with a little holo ad flickering in the corner of the drink menu.

You were with your boys, enjoying some shore leave celebrations at 79s, as was the tradition when returning to Coruscant, but one little comment sent the night spiraling into hilarious, shameless territory.

"Ooo, what's the chances that we'll still be on shore leave next week?" you had asked the table, and when Jesse asked why you waved the ad at him with a grin, "Because they're having a Thunder Star act here next week."

"A what?" Echo squinted at the picture, then let his eyes go wide at the shot of a topless, ab-bearing twi'lek.

"Thunder Star, they're a popular company of exotic male dancers. Looks like 79s’ trying something new."

" 'Exotic male dancers'?" Hardcase smirked, "You mean strippers."

You shrugged, "I prefer to give the profession a little more dignity than that, but, yes."

Fives' glass thudded against the table as he set it down, then snatched the menu out of your hand, "Whoever owns this place is throwing away their money," he leaned back with a smug grin, "I mean, who'd need to hire male dancers when aaaallll this is right here already?" he crooned, running his hands up and down his chest.

That earned a round of laughter.

"What?" he demanded, "It's true! We'd make better entertainment than these clowns."

Jesse was still laughing as he said, "Maybe we should ask the bartender to hire us instead."

"We'd need a group name for that," Kix chimed in, smiling into his drink, "and I don't think the General would approve of a stripper group calling themselves the Five-Oh-First."

"Oh! Oh!" you waved your hand excitedly, "You could call yourselves the Five-Oh-Thirst!"

An even louder roar of laughter at that, Jesse and Hardcase even thudding their fists on the table.

"Perfect!" Hardcase elbowed a chuckling Echo in the side, "Echo, quick, write that down!"

"Although..." you hummed, tapping your chin. It was always so easy to tease the boys, and you took every chance you could. "You guys need a lot more than a clever name to compete with Thunder Star."

"Oh yeah?" Fives leaned in over the table to give you his attention, "Like what?"

You pointed the fruit garnish of your drink at him for emphasis, "Talent." After popping the fruit into your mouth, realizing the rest of them were grinning and leaning in as well, you went on. "Dancing like that takes skill, boys. You can't just shake your ass a little and call it a day."

"That sounds like a challenge, sweetheart," Fives all but purred.

The fruit caught in your throat, "Wh-what?" you coughed.

His smile was wide as he scooted out of the booth, "I'll give you a show you won't forget," he answered with a wink.

The others began whistling and catcalling as he sauntered over to your end of the crescent-shaped booth. Your face was instantly hot at the way he was locking eyes with you, especially when he motioned for you to turn to the end of the seat.

"Come on, mesh'la" he urged, "I need a lap if I'm gonna give you a lap dance."

Beside you, Hardcase was egging Fives on and you heard Jesse say something about music as he grabbed Echo's datapad that had been sitting on the table. Finally, you were over the shock of what was happening and, maybe it was the alcohol buzzing through your body, but some flirtatious confidence rose up in your chest.

You turned to Fives fully, and patted your lap, "Alright, do your worst."

With that, the datapad speakers started blaring music which made Fives clap his hands, "Perfect! Oh, sweetheart, you're in for a treat."

He started the dance by trailing his hands down his chest again, slow this time, keeping his eyes locked on yours. Then he was on you. He framed your knees with his, hovering over your thighs as he started rolling his hips side to side.

Those hands moved over said hips, until they rested on his thighs, drawing your attention just where he wanted. That's when he bent his knees, placing his ass on your lap just as he started moving his hips back and forth.

His smug grin was wide as he mouthed the lyrics of the song, now tucking those hands behind his head and bouncing his chest to the beat of the music. The motion made you jolt despite yourself, and you had to resist the urge to grind up into his tempting ass.

Fives obviously noticed the way you gulped at the sight of him, because his tongue darted out to lick his lips. It was all you could do to suppress a gasp, especially when he shifted his stance, moving back to slot his leg between yours. 

With his eyes on yours, he leaned in close, breath hot on your ear as he said, “Damn, mesh’la,” then, again in time with the lyrics, “the things I would do to you.”

You did gasp that time, and he nipped your ear as his reward, before spreading your legs with his. The others were whistling and cheering as he put his hand on your thighs and sank to his knees. Again he made a show of licking his lips as he raked his eyes over you, admiring, and not hiding any of his dirty thoughts. And of course, as he got back to his feet, he flashed you another wink.

Then, with grace you weren’t expecting from an ARC trooper, he hopped onto the booth seat, planting his feet on either side of you so you had the perfect view of his codpiece as he gyrated his hips to the beat.

The others went crazy at that, shouting and banging their glasses all while Fives thrust dangerously close to your flushed face. His fingers came down to stroke your hair and, for just a moment, you thought he would pull you against him, but he only teased the vulgar act as he ground his crotch closer and closer to you. 

Fives didn’t stay there long, though, instead, he hopped back down to the ground, grabbed your hand, and hoisted you up.

A delighted squeal left you as he lifted you into those strong arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. He spun you around, this time actually singing the song all while bouncing you up and down with the rolling motions of his hips.

At the table, the boys sang along too, treating ‘Ride it, my pony!’ like a battle cry as Fives enjoyed the feeling of you against him. You were breathless from your hysterical giggles while he danced, and trying to ignore how much heat was traveling south with every thrust against your body.

Fives swayed you back towards the booth and, with your legs still clamped around his hips, he laid you on the table, somehow avoiding everyone’s drinks as the song finished its last repetitive set of lyrics.

Everyone was clapping and cheering as you covered your hot face with your hands, lungs pleading for air since you were still breathless from laughter. Fives was laughing too, just basking in the playful air as he put his hands on either side of your head to brace himself.

“So, convinced, mesh’la?” he chuckled.

When all you did was continue to hide behind your hands, someone reached out and tugged lightly on your wrist, “Oh come on, sweetheart, don’t be shy now!”

Somehow, you managed to take a few gasping breaths into your chest and peek out at him between your fingers, “Okay, maybe you could make it as a professional.”

Fives and several others roared with laughter, “Maybe? After all that, I just get a maybe? You’re breaking my heart, cyare!”

“Well obviously,” said another voice, Kix, as he stepped up and put his hand on his brother’s shoulder to pull him away. Something was gleaming in his eyes as he looked between you two. “You didn’t listen, Fives, she already said you have to do more than shake your ass and grind.”

Intrigued, Fives stepped back, letting your legs fall from him as Kix stepped in front of you instead. He winked, eyes never leaving yours when he reached out and took your hand.

“You have to seduce the woman you’re giving attention to, brother,” he purred.

A chorus of “Oooooos” rose from the booth as Kix pulled you gently up from the table, still eyeing you as he took a few steps back. He must have set his plan into motion before he challenged Fives, because there was now a lone chair pulled up.

That’s when Kix pulled you closer, lips actually daring to hover near yours as he whispered, “Take a seat, gorgeous.”

Well, any air you had managed to pull in before was swiftly gone again. You were glad he was asking you to sit since you suddenly felt very weak in the knees. Kix stood before you, eyes half-lidded as he looked down, gaze sweeping over your lips before he gave a quick nod to Jesse.

Again, Kix must have had a whole plan, because Jesse pressed play on a new song, and you knew you were in for something very different.

Kix didn’t jump in head first, instead, he started slow. His eyes ran up and down your body as he moved a thumb over his lips, teasing, thinking. Then, when your own gaze started to wander down his body, he took that same hand and tapped your chin.

“Eyes on mine, mesh’la.”

And when you obeyed, finally, he touched you. Starting by brushing his knuckles across your cheek as the sensual song played on. Then a finger trailed down your neck, giving just the briefest of attention to your chest before venturing down your arm.

“Beautiful,” he whispered, reverently, as he took your hand again. This time, he placed it just above his belt, laying your palm flat against his toned, hard stomach. “It’s okay, you can touch me all you want, cyare.”

With that and his gentle hold on your wrist, he moved your hand up, letting you feel every bit of his muscular chest under his blacks. All while keeping his bedroom eyes on yours. He didn’t stop at his chest, though, and kept guiding your touch to run across his throat, until he finally cupped your hand over his cheek.

Only then did he break eye contact, just so his eyelids could flutter closed as he leaned into your touch. Your chest was so warm at such a simple act, the look on Kix’s face one of pure adoration, as if your hand on his skin was all he needed. 

Then his lips kissed your palm and he finally released your hand as the song’s beat picked up. That’s when he got on his knees before you. Kix places his hands on your thighs, letting out an admiring hum as he gave them a gentle, almost possessive squeeze. He was determined to spread them open too, but, like everything else, he took his time instead of coming in hot.

His hands crept upwards and as they did, very, very subtly, he pushed your legs apart. When his fingers were just on the precipice of your core, his eyes snapped back to yours.

That’s when he pounced. Kix hooked his arms under your knees as he stood, leaving you to slide down the chair into a very vulnerable and exposed position, your ass pressing into his pelvis. He smiled down at you while shrugging your legs onto his shoulders for more comfort, all knowing and smug just like his brother.

Kix stayed with the music, though, and when he took advantage of the suggestive position, it wasn’t Fives’ fast, enthusiastic trusting. The medic rolled his whole body into the motion, slow, deliberate, and letting his action sink into you as his hips met yours. His thrusts were deep and he only pulled back for another one when the beat allowed for it.

Somewhere, probably in another life where Kix wasn’t gazing at you like a goddess, someone said, “Why does this feel even dirtier than Fives’ dance-?”

“Shhh!”

The man holding you didn’t seem to notice or care about the commentary, he only had eyes for you, even as he gave one finally suggestive push of his hips, before letting your legs touch the ground again. Then he slid his arms around you and lifted you back into a proper seated position on the chair.

Of course, he just used this position to his advantage too and caged you by gripping the back of the chair with his hands. That’s when he settled on your lap, silently urging you to keep your eyes on him again and get lost in the feeling of his body on yours. He moved in steady, circling motions, always making sure you felt the brief touch of something hard at the height of every rotation.

Then the song hit its ending pitch and Kix used his grip on the chair to pull himself forward, pressing his chest flush against yours. He lingered there, breath fanning your skin and his lips hovered tantalizingly over yours. Said lips whispered the song’s iconic line just before he closed that small distance and- 

And kissed your cheek instead of your mouth.

Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t have stopped the whine that left you. It earned you a chuckle from him and his lips brushed your ear as he whispered, “So, what do you say, cyare? Are you seduced?”

All you could manage was a small nod and, though it was very unlikely that heard what Kix asked, Fives let out an annoyed, “Seriously?”

To please them both you let out a shaky praise, “Both of you could definitely give the professionals a run for their money.”

Everyone seemed pleased at that. Kix finally leaned back, getting up from your lap and offering to help you up like a gentleman.

Or at least, he would have, if Jesse hadn’t jumped up then.

“Oh no, baby, you stay right there. Fives and Kix can’t have all the fun. I think it’s only fair that all of us get to show off our potential.”

Hardcase, Tup, and Echo all cheered at that, and when Jesse started climbing out of the booth, they drummed their hands on the table like the music for a grand entrance. Kix gave you one final wink before making room for Jesse, who only wasted time in doubling back to the table for a moment.

“Hold on, need props for this one!” and he plucked the cherry garnish from Echo’s drink. Echo gave an indignant look as Jesse turned to you again and jabbed a finger at Hardcase, “Hit it!”

Again a beat poured out of the speakers and Jesse wasted no time. His hips instantly started jolting to the music as he put the skewer of fruit between his teeth. When Jesse moved his body it was hard and fast, constantly in motion just as the song demanded. He definitely had some moves and used the bouncing thrusts to push himself closer to where you were seated.

Like most of his brothers, he had forgone the top half of his armor that night, leaving his chest covered in nothing but his blacks. Keeping just an arm’s length away from you, Jesse started rubbing his hands down his sides, until he got to the hem of his shirt. Then, he pulled the fabric out from his belt and lifted it, revealing his well-toned muscles to your wide eyes.

Your greedy eyes pleased him and pulled the garnish from his teeth, “Like what you see, baby?”

He didn’t stop there, of course. Making sure it caught your eye, he trailed the cherry down his chest until it met bare skin. Juice from the fruit collected in the dips of Jesse’s abs as he rubbed it across his stomach. It was your turn to lick your lips, which pleased him even more.

“Come here, mesh’la, I’ll let you have a taste-”

“What the hells is going on up here?!”

The unfamiliar voice had all of you snapping out of whatever debaucherous bubble you had built around yourselves. Somehow, in the midst of all this, no one really seemed to care that you were all still in a corner booth on 79’s second floor.

Well, the manager cared, and he was standing there looking over the scene (you, disheveled in a chair, and Jesse rubbing fruit over his abs) with absolute disgust on his face.

“What? We’re having fun, what’s it to you?” Jesse snapped, clearly annoyed that his shot with you was being interrupted.

“Fun!?” the manager mocked in horror, “Son, this is a bar, not a strip club! Not to mention the racket all of you were making,” he cast a glare at the booth, “out! All of you, get out!”

Hardcase jumped from his seat, “Hold on a damn minute!”

“OUT!” the manager seethed, “And just be thankful I’m just throwing you out tonight and not banning all of Torrent Company!”

Knowing that they would listen if you stepped in, you got up from your seat and took Jesse’s hand, “Come on, boys, we don’t want to be any trouble, right?”

Jesse and Hardcase were still narrowing their eyes at the other man, but, catching your look, they softened. When Tup, Fives, and Echo started gathering their things from the table at your pleading eyes, they finally mumbled their agreements.

Thankfully, the manager didn’t feel the need to continue his berating comments as everyone filed out the door. But, of course, because these were your boys we’re talking about, the moment they were outside, the loud cursing and complaining started.

“This is bantha shit!”

“Buzzkill!”

“No fun!”

“Had the perfect song for my dance!”

You laughed at their array of comments, especially when Hardcase flung his arms around you and clung to you as everyone started walking. “Come on, boys, it’s not that bad! Listen, I say we get some booze from the corner store up the way, and we can make as much of a racket as we want back at my place.”

The words didn’t strike you as anything suggestive. The boys had drunk at your apartment plenty of times before, but, given the context, it was no surprise that some of them exchanged looks.

“I’m in,” Echo said, the corner of his lips lifting as he caught Fives’ eye.

Tup, who was walking backwards in front of you, flashed that toothy smile of his, “Sounds like a perfect night to me.” That’s when he reached up and pulled his hair loose from his top knot. “And back at your place, gives the rest of us a chance to really show you our moves.” He winked at his curls came cascading down.

Hardcase tightened his grip on you, “Oh, kriff yeah!”

Well, looks like the night was just getting started.

I want to give my sincere apologies to all the Jesse Girls, plz don't strangle me for cock blocking you lol

taglist: @blueink-bluesoul @anxiouspineapple99 @starrylothcat @sinfulsalutations @commander-sunshine @dystopicjumpsuit @wolffegirlsunite @sunshinesdaydream @arcsimper5

[sanguineterrain]

stranger things masterlist

ONE-SHOTS.

✩ sweeter than this.  ─ steve harrington x reader

you and steve take the gang apple-picking. (fluff, pining, the kids being cute and trying to get steve and the reader together).

✩ somebody to you.  ─ steve harrington x reader

you’ve never been kissed. steve changes that. (fluff fluff fluff, best friend!steve, inexperienced reader, first kiss). 

✩ we got a lovin’ thing.─ steve harrington x reader x eddie munson

eddie, as it turns out, is the only one with a brain cell among the three of you. (or: the time you didn't know you were all dating). [didn’t know they were dating, fluff, getting together].

✩ adore you.  ─ steve harrington x reader x eddie munson

when you and eddie learn that steve has never celebrated his birthday—and had no intention of letting you know he even had a birthday—you two make it your mission to give him the best birthday ever. secret parties, however, aren’t always easy to keep secret. (mild angst, birthday fluff, steve harrington feeling loved!!)

✩ lampshade.  ─ steve harrington x reader

after an encounter with your high school bully, you're reminded that you don't have to be alone with your insecurities. (plus size reader, insecurity, bullying, sweet boyfriend steve)

✩ you were made for lovin’ me.  ─ steve harrington x reader *

you and steve haven’t seen each other in a week. he’s desperate. just how you like him. (sub!steve, *smut 18+ only!!!)

✩ no other will do.  ─ eddie munson x reader

you're home from college for the holidays. eddie's playing a show and he wants you to be there. how can you say no to the boy you've been in love with since freshman year? (friends to lovers, pining, eddie playing his sexy mf guitar)

✩ no more lonely nights. ─ steve harrington x reader

steve comes home from starcourt, bruised and battered. and you're there. you always are. (friends to lovers, hurt comfort, s3 steve, bed sharing, confessions)

✩ let me know that it's real. ─ steve harrington x reader

you get stood up for a date. steve finds you first. (reader is stood up, friends to lovers, steve is the bestest. the BESTEST!!!)

✩ i'll put us back together at heart. ─ steve harrington x reader

it's 1987. you haven't spoken to steve harrington in nearly five years. then dustin henderson tells you about a sweet deal he has at family video, where he can rent any video he wants. (ex-friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending, steve and reader always find each other).

☆ it's a feeling that's fine. — steve harrington x reader

you accidentally climb the wrong fence on the hottest day of may. it turns out to be the best thing that's ever happened to you. (summer romance, strangers to friends to lovers, sweetheart steve, unconventional first meeting)

☆ redamancy. — steve harrington x reader

redamancy (n.) - the act of loving someone who loves you back; a love returned in full // or, four times you kissed steve harrington, and one time he finally kissed you back. (friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff, mild canon angst, kissing!!)

SERIES.

'ABOUT A BOY' UNIVERSE ─ eddie munson x gn!reader

a series of snapshots between a gender neutral reader and their first relationship with the one and only eddie munson.

BLURBS.

▻ kissing steve aaaallll over his face ‘cause he’s a pretty boy!

▻ going to a drive in movie with eddie

▻ werewolf eddie being sweet on you

▻ the first time you use a pet name on steve

▻ giggly comfy cuddles with steve

▻ steve and eddie sharing the bed (steddie)

▻ best friend pining!steve who greets you with back hugs

▻ steve comforts you after a terrifying nightmare

▻ steve helps you "study" (based on the steve/nancy s1 scene)

▻ steve has glasses. you go feral.

▻ robin confesses her love for you on a snow day

▻ werewolf steve needs some comfort and cuddles

▻ steve finds old poetry eddie wrote about him (steddie)

▻ you read to steve and pine over him

▻ you visit steve in the hospital while he's loopy on pain meds (s4 hurt steve)

▻ cowboy!deputy steve captures you, a slippery outlaw (suggestive/nsfw)

▻ outlaw!eddie visits you, his favorite bartender

▻ steve gives eddie an incentive to finish their morning run together (steddie, nsfw)

dividers by firefly-graphics

[short-and-ugly]

non-assorted daycare attendant headcanons

Sun & moon are collectively referred to as "the daycare attendant". I think if Steel Wool really wanted us to think they were separate people, they'd call them the attendants.

Powered by kinetic energy! He has to keep moving or else he'll power down. He can convert caffeine into energy in a pinch.

He is the animatronic that has to be sent to parts and services the most, with Monty right below him. He doesn't get sent for maintenance or broken parts-- he was built far too durable for kids to break him, and he cleans himself pretty well. No, he gets sent for personality adjustments. He's the animatronic that has the most "breakdowns". A lot of people have quit working after witnessing/having to shut him down.

The tiny handprints on his back are stains! Clean, but he just can't get them out, no matter how hard he tries.

Sun isn't allowed out of the daycare, nor is he allowed to touch staff. The other animatronics count as staff.

Moon, however, is allowed. During patrol, at least. If he's active during open hours, he follows the same rules and regulations as Sun.

He isn't supposed to be as obsessive/needy/scary as he is in game. Man's supposed to watch kids, for Pete's sake! The virus got to him differently. Cause he's coded specifically to protect and take care of small children? Or something else? Who knows.

Nicknames for friends are just as over the place as names for him are! One person calls him Sun, another Sundrop, another Sunrise. He calls them sunshine, sunlight, sunbeam, starlight, starbright, starshine, stardust--

Touch receptors, aaaallll over. Gotta know when someone's toddler is ferociously tugging at your foam sunrays.

Which also means he can stub his toe and feel it. All that he'd be able to say about it is [boing.sfx], though. (Swears or fillers are replaced with cartoonist stock sound effects).

The destroyed staff bots in his room are actually salvages from Monty's many rampages. Most get thrown into the dump, but those that survive enough to possibly be repaired were put in the attendant's room. Eventually, they were forgotten. Sun wouldn't dare touch them, to risk getting in trouble for doing something even though no one cares anymore. Moon has no such reservations. He's the part that scribbled marker all over the bots' bodies.

He doesn't know how the arcade machine got into his room, other than it happened after Vanny made everyone... go underground. He's tried getting it out, aware that the staff has been looking for it, but he can't get it through his tube. He can only hope that no one comes in and blames him for stealing it.

Has many different voice settings: Sun, for when he's playing with kids on day mode; Moon, for when he's playing with kids on night mode; Singing, for when he wants/needs to sing something (typically a lullaby as Moon); Patrol/Intruder, for after hours; and Imitation. He collects data about the voices around him and mimics them. He usually uses this for puppet shows-- but sometimes it's fun to surprise a kid with Freddy's voice. He can't sing while imitating, though, so if you asked him to all anyone would hear is an extremely tone-deaf Freddy. If someone down the hall didn't know any better, they'd probably think Fred was malfunctioning.

Remembers nothing from patrol mode, which is why it's so much easier for Vanny to manipulate Moon.

Moon's eyes aren't red during night mode-- actually, only the one on the crescent glows, and it glows a soft blue.

He's definitely looked at his room/attic and asked what the point of cleaning the mess was. There's a little discarded broom right above the broken pile of glass. It breaks my heart thinking he broke something and started to clean it, only to give up part-way through because no one ever comes up there. I love breaking my own heart ❤️

He's also definitely used that one pillow pile next to the arcade to pretend to sleep.

A lot of people seem to think that Sun's level of intelligence is equivalent to that of a child-- but I have to disagree! Sure, he's explosive and seems childish, but have you ever seen an actual daycare? They've gotta be enthusiastic! He needs to match all the kids' energies! I think he knows a lot more than he lets on...

Probably has (limited) access to the internet. It's always a good thing to fuel a child's curiosity! Unless it's not. Then he asks the parents to talk to the kid 🧍🚶

I like to think he'd be decent at drawing. Not full-blown Da Vinci, but enough to draw a character on a kid's arm and not have them throw a tantrum. (He absolutely does still draw stick figures with them, though).

He's probably met the others on patrol, but doesn't remember. He's very cold-shouldered when in that mode. That's probably the reason why the others haven't ever gone to the daycare area for reasons outside of parties.

He doesn't count as a mandated reporter-- but the human staff do! The daycare attendant is much better at recognizing signs than humans are, and is always quick to report.

Takes pinkie promises VERY seriously.

More of a scenario but. It'd be cool if he's seen another daycare attendant. A copy from another establishment, brought in for repairs? A replacement? I just wanna know what his reaction would be... the concept of a existential Sun/Moon intrigues me in a way I can't explain. Asking if he's the first one, or if he's been replaced multiple times. Like that one scene that spurred Glam Fred's own crisis!

Can do quick scans to check for ailments, injuries, or mental states!

Could likely walk around the daycare centre blindfolded.

The hook in his back usually catches onto ropes from the ceilings, but he also has an additional coil inside of him that can shoot out from his back, on the off-chance that he isn't in the daycare.

[trashyswitch]

Day 2: The Anticipation

Roman and Remus are having a tickle fight. Janus joins, and Roman gets completely ruined.

Tickletober #2 baby! Let's keep it going!

Remus was tickling Roman on the couch, going at his little weak points to prove a specific point:

“You have a weakness!” Remus told him. “And any bad guy and dragonwitch can see it from a mile away~”

“DOHOHOHO NAHAHAHAT!” Roman yelled back.

“Ooooh reeeally?” Remus reacted, seeing right through his bullshit.

Remus grabbed onto Roman’s hips and….waited.

Roman giggled and looked down, looking to see what he was doing.

“Iiii’m gonna getcha!” Remus teased.

“No you won’t!” Roman spat. “BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Roman immediately bursted out laughing and kicked his feet all over the place.

“Yes I will! And I will tickle you till you pee!” Remus told him.

Remus grabbed onto Roman’s hips, and PUSHED in. This made Roman’s laughter raise and raise in volume and pitch!

“STAHAHAHAHAP IHIHIHIT’S SOHOHOHOOOO BAHAHAHAHAD!” Roman begged.

Remus then stopped the tickles and lifted Roman’s arm up. “Iiiii’m gonna getcha! Iiiiii’m gonna getcha!” Remus teased.

“Nohohoho!” Roman begged.

“All you gotta tell me is that yooouuuu…” Remus’s fingers got closer and closer. “...have a weakness.”

Roman shook his head. “Nohoho wahahahay!”

Remus sighed and brought his fingers inches closer to the armpits. “When will you ever learn?”

Remus finally skittered his fingers into Roman’s armpit. But the tickles only lasted a few seconds before stopping and moving his fingers back to inches from Roman’s armpit. They were still wiggling. “How about now? Ready to tell me now?” Remus asked.

Roman shook his head, and another bout of laughter filled the room for a few seconds before the laughter turned into giggles of anticipation.

“Neheheheveheheher!” Roman ordered.

Another fit of laughter filled the room as Remus tickled Roman’s armpit yet again.

“We can keep this up aaaallll day if you want to. Is that what you really want?” Remus warned.

“YOHOHOU ARE SOHOHO GOHOHONNA GEHEHEHET IHIHIT!” Roman shouted to him.

“Ooooh! I should be the one saying those words! You are so gonna get all the tickles coming your way!” Remus teased, tickling the armpit hairs to tease him further.

Roman whined and tried to hide his face in his raised arm. But the moment Remus noticed that, he tickled his armpit. Roman’s strong laughter filled the room yet again.

“Now: Do you have a weakness?” Remus asked before stopping.

“NOHohohoho!” Roman replied.

“Looks like this is gonna last a while then!” Remus started tickling him again, making Roman’s laughter fill the room for the millionth time that hour.

“STAHAHAHAHAP!”

“I’ll only stop if you tell me you have a weakness. You have to beat your ego in order to stop the torture!” Remus teased.

Janus showed up beside Remus and smiled with an apple in his hand. “Not bad Remus...not bad.”

“Thank you Jay!” Remus replied.

“Now: How about I hold the arms up while you tickle both?” Janus offered.

AW HELL NAW!

“NOHOHOHO DON’TYOUFUCKING DAHAHAHAHAHARE!” Roman shouted.

Remus stopped tickling and nodded. “Okay!”

Janus took his place above Roman and lifted up both of Roman’s arms. He held them down for Remus, while Remus summoned two electric toothbrushes and brought them closer to Roman’s armpits. But they weren’t quite touching...only inches away…

Roman shrieked like a 2 year old and shook his head and body around. “DON’T YOU FUHUCKING DAHAHAHARE!”

“Ohohoho, I dare! I dare dare dare to get closer! So that all you’re feeling is the vibrations of the brushes reeeaaaally close to your armpits~” Remus teased.

Remus really did just that: He brought the toothbrushes so close to his armpits that the armpit hairs were being tickled with the bristles. Roman squeaked and squealed, able to feel the tickles a little bit on his armpits.

“Iiiii’m gonna get closer~” Remus teased a little more, just to further drive him up the wall.

Roman was a big mess of giggles. He couldn’t stop himself from doing anything! “Stahahahahahahap thihihihis ihihihihis sohohohoho mehehehehehean!”

“Ohoho, I know, dear brother.” Remus teased. “But I’m just getting started! Just wait till I bring in the brushes! And the feathers! And the raspberries!”

Roman squealed. NO RASPBERRIES! ANYTHING BUT THE RASPBERRIES!

Remus leaned into Roman’s ab muscles and blew a raspberry.

“HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA! STAHAHAHAHAHAP!” Roman begged.

“Okay!” Remus leaned in and…

Didn’t blow a raspberry.

Roman looked down at his belly and quickly squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn’t able to look!

Remus smirked and breathed in. Roman gasped and giggled, smiling brightly. But Remus didn’t raspberry. He pressed his lips to Roman’s abs and STILL didn’t raspberry! He even blew some air onto Roman’s abs and refused to raspberry yet.

Roman was dying of anticipation at this point. When the heck was he gonna-

“PBBBBBFFFFBBBFBBFBBFBFBF!”

“YEAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Roman pretty much DIED in that moment of laughter. It was like the world finally hit its peak of ultimate tickles! And Roman was experiencing ALL of it!

“Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle! Kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy koo!” Remus teased nonstop.

“NAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EHEHEHEVIHIHIHIL!”

Remus leaned in for another raspberry and waited. “Yes...that’s exactly what I’m supposed to be! Always evil! Always the bad one!”

Roman cackled loudly as Remus tickled his super sensitive ab muscles. Then, Remus started showing off his finger. “Hmmm...What’s the phone number again?”

Roman squealed and covered his face while Remus was stroking his mustache. “I think it was 185-” Remus poked the ab muscles in the right spot, and tickled him in the process. “4...9...5? No 3!” Remus reacted. “Damn...I gotta start all over again!” Remus restarted typing the numbers into the abdomen telephone grid.

“185, 495- Damn! It’s 493!” Remus reacted, ‘typing’ it wrong. “I have to start all over again!”

“REHEHEHEHEHE!” Roman was laughing and jumping at each and every poke. “STAHAHAHAHAP IHIHIHIHIT!”

“The safe word is tickle!” Remus told him.

TICKLE?! OF ALL THE WORDS TO MAKE THE SAFE WORD- His ego was not gonna survive this! No way his ego would survive anything like this!

Remus smiled and clicked the numbers on the abdomen keyboard. “185-493-1692.” Remus ‘picked up’ the phone. “Hellooooo?” Remus said eagerly. Remus poked his finger into Roman’s belly button and kept it there. “Uh huh~…”

Roman tried to move as little as possible as to not tickle himself with his own movements.

“No, I’m afraid Roman is NOT here at the moment. Want me to take a message?” Remus teased.

‘Um, EXCUSE ME?! YES I’M HERE!’ Roman thought out loud. Roman was about to speak up, but was stopped by Janus’s hand over his mouth. “He’s on the phone…” Janus mouthed to him.

Remus smiled and started wiggling his finger that was stuck inside the belly button. Roman widened his eyes and wiggled around a bit, desperate to get his belly button away from the finger. But Remus’s finger kept following the belly.

Roman giggled a little more under Janus’s gloved hand, and shook his head to try and get his hand off. BUt that was a big fat no go.

Remus smiled at this and grabbed a brush. “Now let’s put some makeup onto this belly of yours.” Remus decided.

Remus summoned some paint with his hands and squirted blobs of multicolored paints pretty much everywhere he could reach. Then, Remus readied his big fat wall brush, and started painting and blending all the paint together on his belly.

Roman squealed and giggled at how cold it was at first, and cackled the moment he felt the brush reach the sides of his belly. The sides of his belly was SUPER PLUS ULTRA SENSITIVE (yes, I really brought MHA into this), and couldn’t handle even the lightest touch most of the time. But now there were MILLIONS OF LITTLE BRISTLES tickling all over Roman’s poor belly.

Janus was totally not enjoying this...not one bit...No...He wasn’t enjoying this...He swears…

It would be at this moment that Logan would usually yell “FALSEHOOD” on the top of his lungs.

But Logan was kinda too busy to yell that at the moment.

Janus watched as Remus started booping his belly with yellow on the brush. He was trying to make stars on Roman’s belly. Every single few seconds of Remus thinking of where he wanted a star to be...was painful for Roman. Cause every little break was a different amount of seconds! It was too unpredictable to properly predict anything! And it drove Roman BONKERS.

“There! Now the moon!” Remus grabbed the white paint, and dabbed it on...to the belly button.

Then, he started drawing circles on the spot to spread the paint out a little more so it dried better. Roman cackled and wiggled around as the bruh tickled his belly button, making the moon look jagged and wobbly. “You’re ruining my moon!” Remus told him.

Roman giggled at this. “Yohohohohou’re ehehehevil!” Roman shot back.

“You told me that already!” Remus mentioned. “Now, if you really want this to stop, you’re gonna have to say the magic word~”

Roman growled through his laughter. “Tehehehehehe- tihihihihi- IHIHI CAHAHAHAN’T!” Roman whined.

“Yes you can! It’s just a word! It won’t kill ya!” Remus reminded him.

Roman struggled to say the word for another 10 minutes before finally getting farther in.

“Tihihick-tihihihihickle! Tihihihihicklehehehe! NOHOHOHOW STAHAHAHAHAP!”

Remus giggled. “Sorry bro! I need to hear it without laughing!” Remus told him as he lessened the tickles significantly.

“Whahahahahat?!” Roman reacted. “Buhuhuhuhut-”

“No butts~! Say the word, uninterrupted. Then, I’ll stop.” Remus told him.

“Fihihihihine!” Roman looked around and made sure only Janus and Remus were listening. When he was sure it was just the three of them there, Roman tried. “Tihihi- Tihickle! Tickle! I sahihaid ihihihit!” Roman told him.

“Ooooh! Not bad Ro-ro!” Remus stopped tickling just as he promised, and rubbed away the phantom tickles that were probably there. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Hahard on the ego, though…” Roman muttered, the butterflies in his stomach getting worse and worse.

Remus smiled and poked his belly one more time. “I gotta say: I like this painting! It’s a masterpiece!” Remus reacted.

Roman looked down and widened his eyes. There was a galaxy of many different colors on his belly! Blues, purples, and blacks with stars and a moon on his belly! It was gorgeous! “Wow!”

“I know, right?!” Remus reacted.

“I’m gonna keep this on my belly for the rest of the day.” Roman decided. “I have a galaxy tummy!” Roman declared.

“Galaxy tummy!” Remus declared as well.

Roman counted the stars, and even noticed that the big dipper was on his belly. He loved the painting and decided that maybe...just maybe...he did have a small weakness. But, it was a good weakness. Tickling isn’t really so bad of a weakness.

[americachavez]

did cas really tell dean to kneel before their new god? did that actually happen? i thought him beating the shit out of dean in that alley was the most unrestrainedly horny thing this show had ever done ACTUALLY you know what scratch that new question: top horny moments from the cw's supernatural (2005 - 2020)

getting this ask feels like my sins of the last week have been weighed against the Trials I Have Gone Through since the premier of supernatural on the wb in september of 2005 and I’m not sure if it is a punishment or reward

some notes before we begin:

the ep with dean’s male siren was like, conceptually horny but not actually that horny because the dude was uglie. I’m sorry to this man

all you sam girls out there. I respect you but I do not respect jared padalecki who is JUST tall and has zero sex appeal. but those eps where he’s like, drinking ruby’s blood and then eating her pussy are. you know. I’ll give you that

I am ONLY UP TO SEASON 10 so fair warning this is not comprehensive but the horniness does seem to drop off sharply after the mark of cain is no longer in play lol gotta love a good demon murder tattoo plot

this is easily the most insane thing I’ve ever done, including the destiel manifesto

S1 EP12: the scene where dean gets healed by the faith healer, on his knees with a hand in his hair and looking somewhere between religious ecstasy, brain death and an orgasm. starting this list off great

S1 EP22: azazel possessing john winchester. no I will not explain further if u know u know <3

S3 EP10: dean being taunted by a dream version of himself, this is where we first got the daddy’s blunt little instrument line. still burned in my hippocampus a good 13 years later thank yew

S4 EP1: dean crawling out of his own grave covered in grave dirt. hot. the HANDPRINT. HOT. also tangent but this reveal after the s3 finale was WILD back in 2008 I hollered in my dorm room after canvassing for obama. simpler times man

S4 EP 1: cas’ intro scene. the barn. the shadow wings. the hair??? getting stabbed in the chest by the man you just pulled out of hell. getting aaaallll up in that personal space. his little eyebrow. “you don’t think you deserve to be saved.” OUTRAGEOUSLY FLAMING

S4 EP02: “I dragged you out of hell I can throw you back in.” <<< this angel tops. mark dean down as scared and horny etc

S4 EP16: this ENTIRE EPISODE but specifically the part where dean tortures alastair as some kind of foreplay and then alastair kicks his ass. carved you into a new animal. jesus.

S4 EP16: wait I forgot about the part where cas also gets his ass kicked and looks all....hm. dazed and covered in blood while he’s on his knees and about to die. yeah.

S5 EP4: I mean this entire ep is unfairly horny considering everyone is dying of a zombie plague and hasn’t showered in like, 4 years but if I had to pick one hmmm. the dean/dean interrogation scene with the panty kink yeah I know it’s not original but hm. it happened. also misha collins just being able to convey that CAS IS A FLEXIBLE SLUT with a single roll of his shoulders. who SAYS this man can’t act!!!!!

S5 EP18: the ALLEY SCENE. DEAN DOESN’T FIGHT BACK. CAS HOLDS HIM UP OFF THE GROUND AND THEN THROWS HIM ACROSS THE ALLEY. WHY DID EVERYONE THINK CAS COULDN’T TOP. you all had brainworms.

S5 EP18: when cas locks dean in the panic room to stop him from saying yes to michael and “well cas not for nothing but the last person who looked at me like that I got laid” I hate this show. wait I think the blow me cas line is in this episode too what the fuck were they on here

S6 EP5: the scene where dean gets turned into a vampire. between the old dude who I think calls dean a pretty boy (??) and soulless sam....watching??? no ******* but there were just some absolutely foul energies in that scene and I still do not understand WHAT they were thinking

S6 EP20: cas doing a double smite on two demons by slamming them to the ground and then shoving another demon back in its vessel and then smiting him in the same motion. TOP. ENERGY.

S6 EP22: season 6 is possibly cas’ horniest season because he’s like, going through angel puberty after getting his first boner for dean, but the final cas eps are. whoof. cas eats a bunch of souls and proclaims himself to be a new god in order to handle said boner, and then the season ends with cas telling them to bow down and profess their love to him, their new lord, or he will destroy them. note: the way this is framed makes it look like cas is only staring at dean while he says this, even though sam and bobby are also there. the season ends with dramatic zooms on both cas and dean’s faces respectively. this made me actively regret ditching this show after s5 lol

S8 EP??: literally EVERY SINGLE PURGATORY FLASHBACK. cas dean and benny are all purgatory hot in the “pop 10 cranberry pills and risk the UTI” kind of way but also. dean being the hot girl bottom between two tops who hate each other. I really. whew. I need to go take a shower.

S8 EP17: if I get canceled for including the crypt scene on this list I blame you bud. but dean on his knees begging a brainwashed cas to stop killing him WAS sexy. how many times has dean been on his knees in this list wait there’s another one coming up next jsldjfsldkjf

S9 EP2: abaddon getting dean on his knees (YEAH) and pulling his hair and praising him for always coming when called HELLO???? the only thing that ruins this is dean says “I can’t tell if we’re gonna fight or make out” because this is the CW and they won’t let him say fuck

S9 EP6: ah. this entire episode is Emotionally Horny but the horny horny part is when they’re in the car and dean is telling cas to unbutton his shirt and. watches. I know this was on my destiel manifesto but I need it here too

S9 EP9: cas, covered in blood, slitting another angel’s throat and eating his grace after getting tortured. that shot alone made me understand why this website was so goddamn horny for misha collins for nearly a damn decade

S9 EP11: MARK OF CAIN BABEY. cain watching dean beat up a bunch of demons as an audition for taking on the mark, while crowley also is a fucking voyeur to the whole thing. cain is also a hot silver fox with daddy energies. I said what I said

S9 EP 16: dean getting the first blade. he’s chained to a pillar and being menaced by a foppish dandy who wants to add him to his “collection” (WOW). dean then kills him with the blade and whew. murder is sexy sometimes

S9 EP21: dean being pinned against a wall by abaddon’s power, then using the mark of cain to break her hold, calling the first blade to him psychically and then killing her. god the mark of cain is hot

S9 EP23: dean waking up with the demon eyes NUT

S10 EP2: demon dean beating up that dude with the boring backstory and kicking his ass. really was a go on baby I got your flower moment because I hated that dude and I love demon dean

S10 EP3: demon dean being chained up and taunting sam about how his brother is gone, then hunting sam through the bunker. demon dean in general was VERY fun for me, someone who loves trash

S10 EP9: dean going berserk and killing a bunch of pedophile rapists/child abusers. I’m sorry I know this show is trying to preach morality at me about monsters and unnecessary murder and humanity or whatever but we blew past that like 8 SEASONS AGO. also the mark of cain is sexy

S10 EP14: the rest of this list is really gonna be mark of cain stuff isn’t it look I’m here to have fun. cain and dean’s fight. cain continuously tossing his mane of hair back and taunting dean with the picture of what he’s going to become, who he’s going to kill. dean begging cain to tell him that he can stop, and then ultimately killing him. rip daddy.

S11 EP4: again I have not watched this however. every shot of this episode is PRESTIGE TELEVISION because driving a muscle car is sexy. and especially the shot of dean all beat to hell and begging his car to start and giving her a little kiss from his fingers to her dash. ugh. masculinity.

S12 EP10: the bearded salt-and-pepper daddy look returns, only it’s an angel this time and he’s wearing a vest and shirtsleeves and he swordfights with a hot redheaded lady in a suit and an eyepatch. this show is good sometimes!!! and oh fuck lol I just realized this is the same guy who played krissy’s hot hunter dad in s7 probably the first guy who’s hotter as an angel than a hunter. huh.

S12 EP 11: dean riding larry the mechanical bull to “broomstick cowboy.” I have no idea where this factors into the ep but I have seen. the youtube clip

S13 EP23: from what I can tell s13 is way more emotionally horny than boner horny, although dean burning cas’ body was sexy. but the horniest part was dean saying yes to michael and then michael taking over and saying “thanks for the suit.” we are going to ignore the silliest fight scene in existence as well as the final shot ending on a FREEZE FRAME like a goddamn tiktok

S14: not gonna pick a specific moment because I have not watched yet!!! but michael dean is hot. idk why michael is weirdly hot and I cannot stand any iteration of lucifer on this television programme. it should be the reverse but I’m forever an older sibling stan apparently. someone who is catholic could probably explain this better.

S15 EP13: genevieve padalecki and danneel ackles fight flirting as ruby and anael I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY HELD OUT ON THIS TILL THE LAST SEASON

I know I am missing things but this is already an absolutely incomprehensible screed. I know I’m missing shit from the latter seasons but give me time I’m pacing myself

[lovecolibri]

If we're getting romance with Greg it still seems to come out of M*ria using someone to do favours for her as we saw from the car clip and that's the worst kind of basis for it especially after M*luca being entirely about M*ria getting Michael to what she wanted. What does Greg get out of this? I am genuinely baffled by what the logic behind this pairing was. And the thing is if they go there and it doesn't work out I feel like that's even worse for the narrative. M*ria just sleeps with everyone in Alex's small circle of people and then dumps them??? Yikes.

Uuuuuugh yes to ALL of this. What reason does Greg have to be hanging around her bar after closing/before opening all alone? What does he get out of this? Unless we are going to find out that Greg isn't as great as he appeared but then we are back to "why can't Alex have nice things" and at this point, anything that she doesn't try and force herself into? Michael? Her pushing Alex to date Forrest? Now this season spending time with Kyle and Greg? (I swear if they give HER more screen time with Kyle and/or Greg than Alex gets I'm going to be sooo fucking pissed.) And yeah, who approved this? Who looked at aaaallll that backlash about what they did with season 2 and specifically with her relationship with Alex and were like, "hey, everyone LOVED Kyle and Alex and Greg and Alex, so let's put m*ria with THEM all season!" like whyyyyyy?? And it's going to be awful no matter what! Alex brings Michael around to hang with his brother and m*ria gets to sit there like "I've seen the dick of everyone in the room"? Or like you said, she breaks up with him as she works her way through sleeping with everyone in Alex's life trying to replace the fact that she can't have him?? Just stooooooop. Keep her the fuck away from Alex and his family (which I'm including Kyle in that), and let her fuck off and bother other people. Like???? You think if m*ria had confessed to her BFF Liz that she always thought they would get married as kids while she was currently dating Max because Liz turned him down once and told m*ria their thing was a long time ago so she thought it would be fine, and then when that didn't work, she started dating Rosa, that ANYONE would be interested in seeing that story or would be giving m*ria an OUNCE of leeway? No! She would end up being the villain of the story. The story would be about Liz learning that just because someone says they are your friend doesn't mean that they are and it would be about her breaking free from that friendship and learning she deserves better and actually has a whole host of TRUE friends around her. So I'm not going to sit back and let them try and play this off with Alex and Michael like she didn't do anything wrong and that we should all just move past it.