Holmes: You neednt worry about Watson being here. He is the very soul of discretion.
Client: um...
Watson: *staring at client intently and writing down everything they say*
Client, knowing that one of the first stories that man published was about how the king of bohemia was fucking another lady: UMMM
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I like imagining a scenario in which Jason, Tim and Damian are arguing about Dick and just keep trying to one-up one another:
Damian: I was his Robin and he clearly likes me best.
Tim: I mean, technically I was his Robin first. And that last statement is debatable (and wrong).
Damian: Tt. You were father's Robin, I was Grayson's only before the original Batman returned.
Jason: Oh, for fucks sake, why does that even matter? He accepted me as Robin first and gave me his old costume, try topping that.
Tim: Been there, done that.
Jason: Not first you haven't.
Tim: Irrelevant. I think being accepted as Robin and being his Robin first puts me above you both.
Damian: Richard made me Robin on his own accord, father's intervention was unrequired.
Tim: Do you think that maybe that was because, I don't know, Bruce was 'dead' at the time?
Damian: I don't see how that refutes my argument, Drake.
Tim: He didn't even want you as Robin, he did it so you didn't go running off to the league.
Jason: Face it, brat, Dick didn't have much of a choice on the matter. With me, on the other hand-
Tim: I can give you a list of reasons why what you're about to say is wrong.
Jason: Stop trying to be a smartass, you-
Damian: This discussion is getting sidetracked. I can win this argument with the simple fact that Richard planned to adopt me.
Jason: Get in line kid, he tried with me first.
Tim: Wait- what? Damian makes sense because Bruce... but you? Full offense, by the way.
Jason: I was a redhead and a circus kid, he had all the reasons to adopt me.
Damian: Todd, you're a brunette, you're spitting nonsense.
Tim: And you most definitely did not grow up in a circus. I've heard your backstory from Dick himself.
Jason: You had to be there.
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