#but well the reality is that i don't believe and you can't force faith so it is what it is. i tried finding faith before and it didn't work

[sinnettini]

are you catholic? i wouldn't have said so

anon 😭😭 i'm not trying to make fun of you and i'm taking this as a compliment actually but i don't know how to tell you this... i'm literally italian 😭

but seriously, i've grown up catholic yeah, but i don't believe in god and haven't taken part in anything religious in many years. i would say i'm like culturally catholic tho. and technically still catholic to the eyes of the church bc baptism and all that

[stilljuststardust]

Two questions today!

1: how do you force yourself to believe? With Loa you have to truly believe something but no matter how much I affirm I can’t *make* myself truly believe it without some sort of proof. How can I fix this? I *want* to believe, but it isn’t easy.

2: why hasn’t everyone manifested a better world? If manifestation is truly limitless, how come people haven’t already manifested things like global warming being not a thing or cool magic powers in the world or something like that.

Thanks for reading! :3

Answer "why can't I force myself to believe in my manifestation":

Hello again lovely to see you! I hope you're well. I added something bonus at the end I hope it's helpful.

Question one:

Your problem seems to be a reliance on the 3D for validation. LOA is not forcing yourself to believe something that isn't true. It's the knowledge that your 4D is in alignment with your desires.

If you rely on what exists in the 3D (the physical world) for validation you will manifest the exact same 3D. It'll be a reality loop, if you refuse to believe anything outside of it it will repeat what you've already been shown. Aka a manifesting Orobourus (snake eating its own tail)

IF deep down you don't believe the 4D to be real, you will only seek validation from the 3D, entering your very own reality loop because you're just manifesting what you already have.

At its core LOA is asking you to take your 4D as evidence and reassurance.

I cannot force you to realize your potential or to believe in yourself, only you can choose that.

A more hands on approach:

If you want to build confidence manifest something small and inconsequential. Like seeing a butterfly, someone wearing green nail polish, something you can believe in. Understand that the signs you see were put there by you through your own will.

ALLOW yourself to hold faith in it. What harm will it do you to truly believe in a butterfly or some nail polish? Is it so bad to trust yourself?

You can only find fulfilment within yourself. That's where it comes from. Go within yourself.

Question two:

How do you know they haven't?

This is YOUR 3D. You are limitless. What you see is not all that is.

People HAVE manifested away global warming or superpowers for themselves, but because their 3D conflicts with yours you do not experience it.

This is your 3D.

There is more to the universe than this. You cannot base your knowledge of all that ever could be on the small percentage that you have personally witnessed.

Hobo stew:

I was rewatching star vs the forces of evil and one scene is a metaphor I think would help you.

I have rephrased it to fit LOA because originally they're talking about something else:

"Imagine the multiverse is this big cauldron and reality is the bubbly stew inside, your senses are the spoon.

The spoon can only skim the surface of the hobo gravy, watery and brown, but if you want to get to the chunks you've got to dip down."

The surface being the 3D or the physical, it's only the surface of all reality. If you want the "chunks" or your desires you have to dip into the 4D. The spoon (your senses) don't go that deep, but it's where the chunks are.

There is so much more to reality than what you can see, touch, hear, or taste. Dip down.

Here's the YouTube link, it was the closest I found to an isolated clip, "dip down" is at timestamp 3:47

[yupuffin]

why are you acting like its amatonormativity that forces people to want to live with their spouse? unironically romantic attraction just makes most people want that. like would i rather live in the same house as the person i really enjoy sleeping next to, have sex with, feel ok being naked in front of, and the person i love just being able to hug or cuddle any time.... or my cousin and have to ration shower time, stress about where to take my dates, etc.

I think this ask is actually effective at pointing out a couple aspects of amatonormativity that put aroace people at a systemic disadvantage when they're perpetuated. I'll go ahead and identify them here under the assumption that this ask is in good faith.

For clarity's sake, I'll start it off with the definition of amatonormativity: "the set of societal assumptions that everyone prospers with an exclusive romantic relationship" (from Wikipedia, emphasis is my own).

"Romantic attraction makes people want to live with their spouse" is indeed a generally true statement, and semantically speaking, this statement is not, by itself, inherently amatonormative.

However, this ask proposes an "either/or" situation in which living with one's spouse or living with one's cousin are two mutually exclusive scenarios; the statement about wanting to live with someone you're romantically involved with becomes amatonormative when you introduce the assumption of exclusivity, i.e. that living with your spouse necessarily means that you cannot also live with your cousin.

In reality, very generally speaking, there is no rule preventing a married person from living in a household that includes both their spouse and their cousin (or other cohabitant[s]). A lot of times, people just don't, because under amatonormative societal expectations, that scenario isn't even presented as a possibility. Cohabiting with someone who's not a romantic partner is widely seen either as a last resort or as a short-term arrangement, while, conversely, exclusive cohabitation with a romantic partner is set as a long-term goal that's allegedly preferable to any other possibility. So with some logical deductions, you could see how this would be disproportionately harmful to people who don't have or want a romantic partner.

It should go without saying that, in any real-world situation, there's a lot of practical factors that come into play regarding cohabitant compatibility and such. However, said factors apply to any relationship, not just a specific type. Interpersonal relationships involve communication, setting expectations, and solving problems, regardless of who they're with. People will necessarily get along better with some other people and not as well with some other people.

Inversely, it's entirely possible for people to be in a situation where they get along worse with their spouse than they do with their cousin, or indeed, anyone who's not their spouse. It's far from uncommon for people to end up in situations where they're married to someone who objectively sucks. (And/or maybe their cousin is legitimately just that awesome of a person!) Speaking personally, I have plenty of examples in my workplace alone, not to mention people I know second- or third-hand, of people in this exact situation, for a wide variety of reasons, including sheer societal pressure -- that is, subscription to the belief that everyone prospers married.

All too often, it ends up in a kind of logical loop of them believing that, because their relationship is romantic in nature, it must necessarily be more mutually beneficial than their other relationships -- which is not always the case, and they end up gravely overestimating just how good the relationship actually is for them.

Again, there are as many possible outcomes as there are individual situations in the world; likewise, without knowing way more details about your interpersonal relationships than necessary, I can't make any definitive assessments or judgment calls about the nature of your compatibility or lack thereof with someone -- so I say this more as a precaution than anything else: the generalized belief that relationships with a spouse are inherently better, that they're higher in priority and more exclusive, than those with a cousin or anyone else, is a defining factor of amatonormativity.

So, to bring it back to the original ask: yes, romantic involvement can and often does make you want to live with someone. However, romantic involvement is not a prerequisite to cohabiting, nor does cohabiting necessitate a romantic relationship, nor does romantic involvement alone necessarily guarantee long-term compatibility as far as cohabiting goes.

The first statement alone is not inherently amatonormative. Factor in the latter three assumptions, though, and boom, you have amatonormativity and its general effect on housing situations in a nutshell.

[hwnglx]

enhypen love life update juseyo

i did not intend on writing this much, but most of their energies were so messy. also, i will not be doing romantic readings on niki as long as he's still a minor.. pls, respect that and stop pressing me in my inbox 🤍 thank you

who in enhypen is dating? dec '23

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

heeseung

is he dating? star, 5ofsw, world, char, 7ofw&wheel

no, he isn't. he really really wants to, but is starting to feel this sense of hopelessness and lack of faith. it seems like his overly high expectations, standards and hopes are always standing in the way, like he's constantly wanting everything to be perfect. he wants to be a perfect boyfriend to a perfect partner with a perfect relationship, and often finds himself getting a reality check once things don't go according to a plan. he realizes it's a very difficult thing to achieve.

the wheel of fortune is telling me the universe has heeseung's back, and he needs to stop trying to force something that isn't meant to happen yet. he needs to trust the process more and let things flow. i get this very frustrated and almost angry energy from him these days. i feel like he has a lot of stress pent up inside of him.. the bottom of deck shows me the empress. i got this figure a lot for heeseung, so i believe they must be a prominent figure in his life. i can tell he's still reminiscing and longing for this person quite a lot. (half a year ago he was still in a strong relationship, so i'm guessing it's his ex)

jay

is he dating? 6ofc, knofc, 10ofw, 2ofc&10ofsw, 7ofc&queofp

hmm, it's kinda complicated for him. i can see there is a significant person in his life, who he seems to have known for a longer time now and had very romantic and flirty energy with. however, whatever they had seems to have come to an abrupt end, before it could develop into anything substantial. like i don't see any committed full blown relationship here.. this person seems to have feminine energy and prominent earth placements. really gentle and calm person. very pleasant energy. someone easy to be around, i can tell they're well-liked. he still seems to be dreaming about them and their relationship a lot, and often finds himself thinking about what could've been, what could still be.

it's crazy because jay is the member who likes casual relationships the least, but somehow finds himself as one of the members who jumps from person to person more quickly than others, because things never seem to fully work out. confusing as hell. i think he himself gets frustrated over things always not working out fully, since he dedicates so much of himself into every fling he starts. me getting the 10 of wands for him in every love reading is crazy 😵‍💫 he puts a lot of pressure on himself to satisfy the people he's with, no matter how casual the relationship might be.

jake

is he dating? 6ofsw&10ofc, aceofp, 3ofwrx, moon&3ofsw star&2ofw, queofc&9ofp, knofw

yes, he is. but, not his ex. see, his energy is so all over the place right now, that i kinda struggled understanding what's going on, can't even lie. first time i read for him, he seemed very heartbroken over moving on from his last girlfriend. the relationship was like perfection to him, everything he could've ever wished for.. yet he still felt unfulfilled, like it wasn't going anywhere anymore.

(while writing, glimpse of us by joji started playing in my head?.. especially the "why that if she is so perfect, do i still wish that it was you? perfect don't mean that it's working, so what can i do?" line came to my mind, damn)

i can see that he did have problems confronting his ex about this. as i stated before, jake isn't the best at confrontation. he doesn't like hurting people, especially if he deeply cares about them. (which he still does, his ex is still important to him. so i can tell he's kinda frustrated about his state of dissatisfaction) i believe that in his head, breaking up wasn't gonna hit him as hard as it did. but it kinda went the opposite direction, and he spent some time feeling very lost and sad. i saw him crying a lot while reading.

however, seems like he's seeing someone already.. a beautiful water sign person with feminine energy seems to be a figure in his life right now. don't ask me, i myself get all 😳 over this back and forth for him. with the star and the two of wands at the start of the spread, it's evident he made a conscious effort to heal from his hurt. everyone has their own ways of healing.. jake can often be the type to distract himself and escape his emotions with sexual intercourse. i'll be direct, lol. he's a single pringle now, so i guess he's trying to just enjoy that to some extent. the knight of wands is giving very sexual energy, so.. yeah. this queen of cups person is giving me nice energy though, very mature. so who knows how this could end up.

sunghoon

is he dating? 9ofsw+magic+dev&10ofcrx&kingofprx, 7ofw, 2ofp, 10ofw

yes and no.. his energy is very messy. i can see there's someone in his life he has a relationship with, but i don't think it's an overly committed one, instead one of more physical nature. there is this feeling of heavy co dependency though, and i'm getting this confusion of "what are we?", especially on that person's side. it's giving this toxic (😈 card..) relationship where someone doesn't wanna put a label on it, but still demands a sense of control over you.

the burden of the responsibility that comes with making this an "official" relationship seems to be something sunghoon is avoiding, esp. since he's very busy. i can see this stressing his "partner" out immensely. a lot of push and pull going on, and this person is feeling used, but can't let go since they do hold strong feelings for sunghoon, and he makes them believe it's a two-sided thing. which to an extent seems to be true, but.. sht is just all over the place. whenever i read for sunghoon in general, his energy can be pretty comfortable and laidback. but as soon as it comes to romantic readings.. the man is a whole different guy. his venus and mars in scorpio don't play.

sunoo

is he dating? queofp&pagofw, aceofc, hangm&9ofc

yes and no for sunoo too.. he's another one who has something with this earth sign person, however it's all extremely fresh and lose still. it's more in the beginning stages, yet sunoo already seems to be like "meh, you're not entertaining me enough." and kinda putting everything on hold. (like randomly leaving them on read) i can tell this person likes him a lot and feels let down by his non committal attitude, since they themselves seem to be someone who puts a lot of themselves into every relationship they start. sunoo's behavior is making them feel very insecure, and they're afraid he's just leading them on.

he's the type to only call when he's bored, or feels lonely. he only contacts them when he feels like he can get something out of it, it seems. and not really realizing (or not wanting to realize) that this person already values what they have a lot, and his behavior is messing with them. sunoo is so absorbed in this own world, that he doesn't seem to pay much attention to that at all. it's not something he concerns himself with.

jungwon

is he dating? 8ofp, 2ofp, hangm, 4ofw&9ofc

no, he isn't. and seems to be happy that way. the only member whose energy didn't make me feel like i'm going a little insane, thank you jungwon 🥹 he has his entire focus on work right now, and is consciously making the decision not to start anything in his romantic life. there is so much on his plate, that he feels it'd currently be difficult for him to find enough time and energy for a relationship. jungwon has very high standards, he's someone who exactly knows what he wants and needs. he dedicates his entire heart and soul to everything he does, in various aspects of life, including his love life. so, he's either all in a relationship, or all out, doesn't start one at all.

the happy four of wands together with the proud nine of cups shows him in a very content and comfortable place, a lot of confidence and satisfaction. not having a partner doesn't seem to bother him at all.

[111ikuyuh]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚TRUST AND THE UNIVERSE ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Intro: ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🦇hi everyone...im posting this to help you manifest, shift etc! So allow me to explain. If you want to shift or manifest...you have to trust in yourself. You literally don't even have to trust if its real or not but just trust in yourself and your power. I realized this after doing something regarding lucid dreaming. I was doing the mild technique and I didn't fully believe in it but i tried anyways...and yeah I didn't lucid dream but I realized something. I simply intended and visualized before bed to wake up at 3-4am and guess what? I did. 3:30 am or something I think. Even tho I didn't lucid dream, I had a small success that made me realize I literally just needed to try and trust it.

🦴Explaining: ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🕸So...what exactly even is trusting? Imagine going on a roller coaster as a child and your scared....but your mom or dad holds your hand and tells you your okay. You're still scared and may have your doubts but you do it anyways and end up having a great time. Think of trust as simply trying and believing regardless of the circumstances!

🦴Trust and the "3d": ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🕷I dont exactly believe in the 3d. Think of the 3d as a complete illusion that you just happen to believe is real. The 3d is real, yes...but the 3d is also bullshit because YOU choose it all. You are in a reality where from birth we are programmed to think what Im saying is fake and that magic is fake...etc. But it's not! So remeber in that example about the scared kid with the roller coaster? Yeah...that fear is your "doubts". But those have zero power over you. And the care taker holding your hand? That's me and every other truthful manifestor and shifter telling you this. And you? You are the scared kid going to do this and totally rock this! You are going to trust and have faith (even if its little) and just believe. Remeber...the "3d" is just bs and a refelction of your thoughts. Oh you think this will take weeks to trust? No duh! If your thinking like that. What I want you to do is just remeber that the "3d" is JUST a reflection of your thoughts. And it is real but all you need to do is shift your awareness to that reality where you have blah blah or shift your awareness to your dr. Also if you didn't know...shifting and manifesting are the same thing but manifesting is like a "sub genre:" of shifting. I'll explain that in another post.

🦇Method: ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

🕷This is a simple method I'm making up on the spot which will be similar to the intetion method. You can use this for manifesting And shifting. It's a few steps really 🦴STEP 1: Have desire 🦴STEP 2: The moment you think it you truly do have it. And if your like "you don't see it" no offence but you might as well start over cause that's how you "fail" hun. I dont care what the hell you see according to that dck "3d" THE FACT YOUR IMAGINING IT MEANS YOUR DESIRE IS THERE AND DONE. Trust in that. I dont care if it takes an entire year, the "3d" is forced to follow your desires if you persist and trust you really have it. It IS guaranteed but only if you make it guaranteed

☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆:

Ps...you can manifest and shift to whatever. You may have limits in this specific reality like you can't fly...but shift your awareness to a reality where you CAN fly. Everything you can an can't comprehend exists already through an infinite amount of realities. Manifesting is the same as shifting and is as easy as you make it. So yes you could manifest a unicorn if you want. Or if you want a long dck you can manifest it...you can manifest your ariana grande for gods sakeᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

xoxo, seifarria signed out♥♥

Edit: tbh...idk what I was yappin about here. Uhm...forget I made this unless it was actually useful to you but take this with a grain of salt. I had something here but I was wording it all weird. This is totally going into the gutters of my tumblr acc

[frauleinandry]

guess who finished metaphor refantazio last night!! was the game perfect? no, i've definitely got my fair share of minor nitpicks. did it engross me more than any game has in years? yes!

very much a solid 8.5/10 experience, and worth playing for the art direction alone.

my full review is under the cut, and it is NOT spoiler-free, so don't click if you haven't finished the game!

gonna break this up into several segments, as it's Long!

story

the plot was a bit predictable at times, especially if you're familiar with other atlus games, but still enjoyable nonetheless! the sudden, if inevitable swerve from being a typical fantasy story into suddenly being a story about a medieval fantasy culture being magically forced into holding a democratic election was. extremely funny in all the best ways given how jarring it was in-universe.

i loved how atlus explored the unrest a huge, unexpected political system change like that would cause as opposed to making everyone just chill with it. the subtle criticism of modern democracy in general - specifically, the fact that in reality, elected leaders are almost always going to be people that are rich and powerful already because they're the ones that can market themselves the most - was also, uh, very poignant.

thematically, well, the game is very heavy-handed about its message. it wants to say something, and dear god it says it! at the same time, i enjoyed that, because, well, metaphor's message is really something that needs to be said. the world can be cruel, and there's no magical solution to all its problems waiting in place, but you can't give up hope. you have to keep on believing in a better future, while also doing what you can to ensure that happens, even if you can't do much. it's very much an anti-doomerism story at its heart, and in this day and age, that's extremely relevant.

at the same time, the story is definitely where most of my nitpicks are. specifically, the pacing of the altabury arc. it's is so, so rushed. there are back-to-back plot twists that each radically change the story, with levels of foreshadowing ranging some some to none, and absolutely no breathing space between them. louis is dead! oh wait, he wasn't the bad guy and forden was! oh wait, louis isn't dead after all and now forden is! rella is helping us! oh wait, she's evil and brainwashing people! except no, she's actually performing a thanatos gambit to help us!

like, good grief. there should have been at least a week between louis' death and his resurrection (and a LOT more foreshadowing about zorba's survival). the fact that you don't even fight forden also just sucks. space those events out, give us a small battle against forden before louis shanks him, and then have a mage academy dungeon (where you can possibly see the ruins of the real-life academia). there - that would have been much better.

i also thought while the worldbuilding in general was good, the sanctism religion was very weak, especially given the huge effect religious zealotry has on the plot. like, who is their god? what does he do? like, we get answers to the hatred towards elda and their pushing of igniters, but both of those things pre-reveal feel extremely disconnected from the idea of a faith.

characters

yeah i love these guys. the cast is fun, and i liked all of the followers/found them compelling, which is more than what i can say about persona social links at times. the OG team of will, strohl, gallica and hulkenburg is great, and i thought the vast majority of party members were also written really well.

basilio and eupha specifically feel like atlus saw all of the criticism about haru's introduction to persona 5, and addressed them when it came to the late-game party members. basilio is introduced in arc three and has a huge presence in arc four before he joins in altabury. eupha is introduced fairly late, however she's also integral to the story and feels like she's contributing.

in fact, the game was fairly good at balancing the party's screen time. strohl remains relevant due to being will's mouthpiece, hulkenburg isn't super important during brilehaven/eht ria, but returns to the spotlight once the game focuses on the prince, and junah's connections to rella and basilio keep her important.

... you might have noticed an absence from that list, namely, heismay. yeah - while atlus went out of their way to avoid a haru, they still added a yusuke to the plot. namely, an early-game character who has no personal connection to the lore or other major characters whatsoever. he's completely irrelevant post-martira, and his personal struggles lack cohesion with the story's overall plot. he could have been a follower and nothing would have changed.

i also think will is a really poor protagonist for this sort of game. while he's got a bit more character than most persona protags, he's still a borderline silent protagonist, and that doesn't work in a game where he's meant to be using his charisma and getting people onto his side via speeches. like, i just remember being astounded during the brilehaven arc once they present johanna as their bounty - will does nothing while strohl is the one to do all the talking, with occasional interjections from hulkenburg! if i was in the audience there, i'd want strohl as the king, not the dude who said like one line!

anyway, end rant, and back to the set of characters i haven't talked about yet, namely the antagonists. they're predominately good! forden and louis were both really fun takes on the SMT law/chaos alignments, especially louis. while forden could have done with more screentime, i have zero complaints about louis. he was sympathetic in a wretched way that excused none of his evil, and i liked that he genuinely believed he was doing what was right for the world, even though it clearly wasn't.

in terms of more borderline antagonists, i enjoyed fidelio and rella in particular a lot. rella was easily the character whose motives i had the most trouble placing, which made picking apart her actions extremely facinating, and fidelio's character growth was great. joanna (like the martira arc in general) was a bit weaker, and i thought the game cut her waaaaaay too much slack, but eh. it wasn't a big deal.

in the end, i think my favs were hulkenburg, rella, and strohl!

gameplay

first of all, the art direction is sublime. if it doesn't win that category at TGA, i'm gonna be disappointed. there was so much thought put into the game's construction in general, from the use of texture to enhance the storybook aesthetic to the use of esperanto in the visuals/music... like, there are so many references to culture and art history throughout the game, which make it that much richer.

the dungeon crawling is solid, even if it suffers a bit from the calendar system essentially forcing you to one-day the dungeons if you want to make the best use of your time. i'd say not quite as good as persona 5, but better than persona 3 reload. generally, i found the overworld combat a bit clunky - the lack of animation cancelling makes dodging feel laggy, which definitely annoyed me a handful of times. the squad battles are much better though, and really felt like fun puzzles to solve.

i generally enjoyed the archetype system, even if i found the class requirements a bit much at times. the customizability of the party members is refreshing compared to personas, and i like the fact that will isn't significantly more OP than everyone else to the point of making them redundant. what i enjoyed less though was the fact that you don't get a dedicated magic user until the final battle of arc three, essentially forcing will into becoming a mage... which bites you in the ass when his royal archetype turns out to be a mixed attacker which favours physical. oops.

like with persona games, i'm so/so on the calendar system. i like the resource management it introduces, but as mentioned above, i don't like how it forces you into charging through dungeons instead of exploring them at your own pace.

on the flip side, the follower system is far better than the social link one. having fewer ranks meant there weren't really any filler episodes, and the lack of hold-out visits was so refreshing. i also liked everyone's schedule not being constrained to days, but instead adjusting so you can't rank up someone back-to-back.

i think that's all i have to say, really! despite my criticisms, i really hope atlus takes certain things from this game into consideration for persona 6, and i think all the years they spent on this game paid off.

[vintage-bentley]

Unfortunately your post about "gender ideology" somehow ended up on my dash, but I'm going to engage in good faith.

I am gen z as well, but I am trans. I don't believe you're a genuinely hateful person, just misunderstanding. The fight for trans and LGB rights as you would call them are inherently linked by history. The first gay rights movements were spearheaded by trans and gender nonconforming people. Groups like the LGB alliance who would like to convince you otherwise are trying to sow unnecessary division by pitting a once unified community against each other with an "us verses them" mentality. At the end of the day, bigots don't care about the difference. Once they're done coming for us, they will come for you.

The truth is, we just want to live our lives, same as you. The "gender ideology" scare going on today is *extremely* similar to how gay people were persecuted in the past (ie, "they're pushing it on children", the whole groomer panic, etc etc).

Also, you'd be hard pressed to find a trans person in real life who thinks having a genital preference is transphobic. I don't feel the need to deconstruct this idea here because it's already been done so many times, and if you're really curious about it you can look into it yourself. No one is forcing you to have sex with trans people. Just respect our existence.

This is getting long, but honestly if I can convince one person that we are not the evil monsters TERFs make us out to be, it will have been worth it. You can also just delete this, I can't control what you do. I just wanted to reach out and try to level with you, because I genuinely believe you're not a hateful person.

Wishing you a happy pride and nothing but the best, with love. ❤️

The thing is, that gay and bi people who were actually at the grassroots movements say that they did it themselves. For example, Fred Sargeant (who was attacked by trans protesters at a pride event that exists largely because of his activism). I have no doubt that people who would be considered trans today were there…but they would’ve been homosexual or bisexual, not heterosexuals claiming to be gay. From what I understand, that’s why trans people were grouped with LGB people to start: because they were a subgroup of LGB people. But today, what it means to be trans has completely changed, and has completely moved away from having anything to do with LGB.

Sexuality is based on sex, trans identity is based on the idea of gender. These two things have nothing in common, and actually directly contradict each other. A homosexual is a person who is exclusively attracted to the same sex, and who completely lacks attraction to the opposite sex. No matter how much a female person identifies as male, a gay man can never be attracted to that person. No matter how much a male person identifies as female, a lesbian can never be attracted to that person. The idea of gender identity tries to overwrite this fact, therefore erasing the reality of homosexuality.

There’s also a big difference in the way LGB people and trans people speak to the next generation. With LGB people, it’s “it gets better, you’re perfect just as you are, don’t feel like you need to change”. With trans people, it’s “it gets better, but only if you change yourself”. Which includes telling lesbians to transition into “straight men”, and gay males to transition into “straight women”. Aka conversion therapy. So even the ways we go about inspiring others is contradictory.

In other words, the progress that trans people want to see is very different from the progress LGB people want to see. Whenever LGB people, specifically homosexuals, try to put emphasis on our needs (example: recognition of sexuality being innate, unchangeable, and based on sex not gender), we are faced with backlash from the trans community. So many of us have decided it’s best to go our own way so that we don’t have to deal with the concept of gender overshadowing us.

And of course we know that bigots don’t like us either. That’s why many LGB people such as myself are very much opposed to allying with conservatives, especially the religious ones. Because the LGB community is so vast and diverse, you’ll of course see some allying with the right. Just as you’ll see some trans people allying with the right. I don’t think either are being very smart in doing so.

Just because LGB people don’t ally ourselves with trans people doesn‘t mean our only other option is homophobes. Our other option is to ally ourselves with people who support us and agree that our sexuality cannot be changed, or identified into or out of, because it is sex based.

You don’t just want to live your lives. Just wanting to live your lives would be doing what you need to do to be at peace personally, and not expecting anyone else to get involved. It wouldn’t be expecting everyone to change their view of what sex and gender are. It wouldn’t be expecting homosexuals to accept a change in the way we define our sexuality. It wouldn’t be expecting women to redefine our sex as an “identity”. It wouldn’t be telling women we need to accept male people in the spaces our foremothers fought to carve out for female people only. It wouldn’t be telling women we can’t discuss women’s issues as such, because we’re expected to believe that men can get periods or can need abortions. It wouldn’t be shutting down female-only shelters. It wouldn’t be throwing a fit when lesbians try to create spaces just for homosexual females. I could go on.

What the trans community is doing, is trying to force their view of gender onto everyone else. That’s not okay. And as I already mentioned, goes directly against the interests of LGB people, especially homosexuals. If somebody wants to take all the steps they can to live as the opposite sex, that’s none of my business and I don’t care. It becomes my business when they then expect me to believe that they actually are the opposite sex. In the same way that it’s none of my business if a Christian wants to believe that Jesus is the son of god who they need to repent to…but it becomes my business if they expect me to believe the same.

Also, I’m very tired of the “nobody is forcing you to have sex with trans people” argument because nobody said that was happening. We obviously know that nobody is holding us down and forcing us to have sex with trans people. We also know that there is a lot of pressure on homosexuals to at best feel guilty about our lack of attraction to the opposite sex, and at worst pressure to “fix” this. Even the term “genital preference” that you used is an example of this—because our exclusive attraction is not a “preference”. A preference is “I like [X] best, but if it’s not available I’ll have [Y]”. That is not how homosexuality works. There is no other option for us except for the same sex. Stop calling our sexuality a preference.

Lesbians will never be attracted to trans identified males. Gay men will never be attracted to trans identified females. The trans community has proven repeatedly that they have a very big problem with this, and have let homosexuals know. Just look at the term “cotton ceiling”, where trans identified males consider female homosexuality to be a barrier holding them back. To many trans people, “respect our existence” means “change your sexuality to include us”.

I’m more than happy to respect the fact that trans people exist. I already do. Just don’t expect me to play along with your belief system.

“TERFs” don’t think trans people are evil monsters. We just see a concerning amount of misogyny and homophobia in your community and are calling this problem out so it can be fixed. Unfortunately, many trans people consider this transphobic, because misogyny and homophobia are essential to upholding their beliefs about gender.

[1941-crowley-slut]

Rant incoming

I cannot STAND how my mom talks to me about church when she wants me to go.

For context, we obviously stopped going during covid so we were away for 2-3 years and though she watched the live broadcast every Sunday, I didn't. In fact I always deliberately left the room at that time to stay away from it. At some point I told her I don't believe anymore (honestly I remember having doubts and questions (Crowley coded lmao) since I was a kid but 11-12 is where it really just set in that I don't have that kind of faith). She didn't take ir horribly bad but told me at the time she'd like it if I still joined her at church sometimes. Which, fine. Okay.

Fast forward to when she is actually going back to church and just throws on me the news that I am going too. Doesn't ask, just tells me I'm going. And I'm pissed as fuck the whole day after that, to the point that when she asks me to find my clothes for church I actually just keep looking at my closet and want to tear everything apart. I really avoid conflicts with my mother but this one had me. I was PISSED. So when she finally asked what was going on I told her "I don't want to go". And it wasn't so much that I wasn't willing to do it for her, it's that I felt she had no regard for my beliefs and just wanted her way. A

And funnily enough, she did. Because the reponse to that was: "I know, but I'd already told you I want you to come with me sometimes. Is it so terrible, you can't even make this one little sacrifice for your mother?"

Not me being guilt tripped, but anyway. I don't remember the end of that conversation but I remember other times. Once again for context, I was in 12th grade the year that passed and it was incredibly difficult study-wise. I had 6-7 hours of school every day, then anywhere from 2-5 hours of extra studies (sometimes almost immediately) and then I also had to do homework for both school and extra studies (seperate) and a lot of it was learning things by heart, plus we had tests and exams all the time like ALL the time, some weeks I'd have 5 tests in 3 days and I was going insane. Plus on extra studies we wrote exams on Saturdays. So it was all very very hectic and mom knew that and she was very awesome for the most part, but when it came to church she just didn't. Listen. To me.

She would go "You'll come this Sunday because the next weeks will be harder for you" but the matter of the fact was, she didn't know what weeks were harder for me. She thought for xyz reasons that later it'd be worse, but in reality the times she wanted me to go i was drowning in work and getting anxiety attacks and mental breakdowns cause everything was so much. Too much. And I'd say something like "Well this week's pretty bad" and expect her to get the hint but she'd go "it's just one hour in the morning, how important is it really, you probably wouldnt even be studying then"

(Not to mention it's not really 1 hour cause I need like an hour just to wake up and get ready, then 20 minute drive, the service was either 1 or 1 and a half hours, then it was however long chatting up with all the church people, another 20 minute drive home and then I was tired and we would have lunch and I just wanted to relax and sleep etc etc. So it wasnt at all just an hour. And maybe even if I hadn't gone to church that day, it'd still be afternoon and I wouldn't have gotten started on any work. But at least I would have spent some time for myself and then would force myself to work. But anyway again)

She just does this thing where she doesn't even ask or give me the illusion of a choice. Cause the truth is that church is usually not that bad, I can deal with it, it's fine. But I hate it just because she makes me feel forced to go. If she was just like "Hey, could you come with me to church this Sunday? I'd like that" I would be much happier to go. I know she doesn't want to be by herself and that she worries about what the church peoole will think (which pisses me off as well but thats another story), I don't mind keeping her company. But I mind when she suddenly springs it on me on Saturdays that "We're going to church tomorrow" and even if I show my discomfort with it she's like "Well you have to come sometimes."

And she just she has this way that I don't understand that when she says anything related to me going to church (e.g. "Find your clothes for tomorrow to see if anything needs to be ironed"), she says it in this firm tone and so suddenly that you just even subconsciously know you have no say in this. I don't get to react to this or have an opinion, it's just something I have to do. Because she said so. And if I was to try and react, she'd circle right back to guilt-tripping me (which at this point would be really funny because I have been trying lately to help her in every way I can so it's not like "You do everything for me and I'll do this small favor for you by coming with you", I have been offering to help with chores, I've been offering to learn stuff I dont know how to do so I can help her around the house, I have been helping as far as I can. But nonetheless I know this will end badly if I try to argue)

Anyway yeah it's just. I'm tired. At first I thought it was her desperate attempt to get me back into the church, to make me believe again. Now, though I still think she clings onto some hope about that, I also believe she thinks I'm too far gone for that and really just wants me there for company and for the eyes of the world, so none of the people know I'm not a believer anymore and supposedly think of her as a failed mother.

I'd just like to be counted like an equal person in here. Especially what with reaching adulthood and all. Like she actually scolded me when I said "I'd like to go out with my friends" and waited for their approval, because she said I was just making announcements and she wants me to ask next time. Even though I was still essentially waiting for them to say yes or no, I wasn't announcing anything. And she's said this before too, I'd leave for extra studies a little earlier sometimes to go get bubble tea and I'd tell her and then she'd go "I want you to ask beforehand". Why? She wasnt even home, no one was, and I would've left like 30 minutes later anyway cause I had to, what's the big deal? Or is it just about being controlled, hm? Is it that she can't watch me be an independent person? Feels like it.

Anyway my point was I have to literally ask for everything, like with a "Can I" and a question mark and all, because "We might have something else planned" (which as I said, if they had something planned for us to do would they not tell me? And either way, if something came up I'd just tell my friends I couldn't hang out after all cause something came up and it'd be fine. But no, she insisted.) but when it comes to me she just says "You're coming" and that's it and I HATE it. I HATE IT.

If she thinks she's bringing me closer to church this way someone tell her she couldn't be more wrong.

[onetrackminded]

Unreality & PTSD

One of the scariest things about allowing myself to accept my subjective emotions is how lost in unreality I frequently find myself now. Amidst all my diagnoses (autism, ADHD, bipolar, PTSD), reality has always been a touchy thing, especially with that last one.

Trauma convinces me things are dangerous, the people around me are dangerous, and I begin to behave as if I'm back in the situation I was in when I was traumatized. Every time I'm triggered I fall into a spiral of believing I'm in danger again, plotting my "escape", and suppressing my emotions. The worst part is not having insight.

I've always had insight. I've always had that characteristically autistic self awareness that makes therapy redundant. But with this, I'm not. My actions are automatic -- I don't even think about it. I have to force myself to think about it. I want to avoid it. I want to just escape it.

The unreality sets in the most when I confront these feelings. When it comes time to communicate these things to loved ones, to resolve my bitterness, to correct my perceptions -- it's hard to find the truth.

It's really difficult to trust anything because my abuser played with my reality like a toy. When people say they mean well, often there's no difference between someone who is lying and someone who's not.

How do I know your intentions? How do I know what you really mean? How do I know when I can't read social cues? When I can't tell someone is being malicious?

The answer is somewhere between "I can't" and some other solution. My therapist asked me if going over facts vs. fiction would help, but I can't help but think it would only make it worse. I always try and think logically -- I always think in terms of black and white, right and wrong, fact or fiction. So far, that hasn't served me much.

In fact, it makes things worse. Obsessing over what could potentially be a "sign" of danger is exhausting and my perception is bent towards fear. I'm biased. And even when I'm not, even when I know "the truth" logically speaking, there's always a feeling in the back of my mind telling me I could still be wrong.

That feeling in your chest is often described as intuition, doubt, fear. Which is it? It's identical to those things. Do I listen if it's intuition? Do I ignore if it's doubt?

My only answer for these conundrums so far is a frightening one, and one given to me by someone I love: having faith in my safety.

Sometimes, I just have to believe I'm safe even when I don't feel like it. I have to believe it won't happen again even though every sense, every perception, every feeling is screaming at me telling me it is.

And it's terrifying.

[mermaidsirennikita]

thanks to the b show there's a lot of bad faith readings of when he was wicked going around and it's infuriating! especially since you don't see the same level of scrutiny being leveled at any of other books. where are the thinkpieces about an offer from a gentleman or to sir phillip with love? hell i don't think i saw this much discourse around the duke and i and that book has a rape scene in it.

I'll repeat, as always, that I TRULY believe that a lot of the people discoursing (lol... probably MOST) have not read the books, or at least not all of the books they're talking about. I think this is usually the case with adaptations, because everyone wants to defend their opinions, ships, whatever, with book references, because the book is "the ultimate canon". (I saw a lot of this when Daisy Jones and The Six was airing, as another example. Deadass saw people trying to argue that the big Daisy/Billy kiss happened in the books as it did in the show, and when book readers gave rebuttals, you go "Well, they just didn't admit it in the book". Like...)

In reality, there isn't one single canon when an adaptation occurs. In this case, there is "book canon" and "show canon". The first season of Bton was relatively close to the book, but the subsequent seasons have diverged quite heavily. It's its own thing. That's fine and that's valid, and you can prefer whatever you want, but it's difficult to defend your preferences with the books when the books are so damn different.

And you ESPECIALLY can't compare the two when you haven't consumed both. It's totally cool for people to not want to read the books, or to stop after reading something in it they dislike. But if you haven't read the thing you're comparing the show to (as in, the specific text) IN CONTEXT, you really can't give a valid argument. Context is important for all of fiction, and I think it's especially important for romance. I can tell you "In 'Devil in Winter', Evie Jenner proposes marriage to the man who kidnapped and threatened to rape her best friend in order to save her own skin" and that is TECHNICALLY true. I'm not lying. But in context, there's so much that makes the story an entirely different thing than what it sounds like out of context.

This is all symptomatic of a huge issue we have right now, which is "That sounds like something that I don't like/will offend me/will trigger me", and therefore I shall pass judgment without trying it. We all do it. I do it. But you've gotta try to keep that among your mains and not try to ARGUE it, because if you're attempting to argue with someone who has consumed the material, WHETHER OR NOT THEY HAVE A GOOD TAKE, you are coming at the same topic but with much less information, and that takes away a lot of validity.

I do not begrudge anyway for skipping something they think will dislike, or will be offended by, and certainly I think you SHOULD skip something you think will trigger you beyond tolerance. But when that happens, you do close a door on your ability to make that informed argument.

(And this is all about something light and silly like Bton, BUUUUUT it's still a reality, and it's even more of a reality when you try to argue about something serious. You have to know your shit.)

I say this as someone who would recommend two of the Bton books; I don't care for the others (honestly, The Duke and I would be a cute book, but I didn't like the way the rape was handled... obviously). I still read them, and now I can tell you, fully informed, why I dislike this or that, why I would've made TSPWL a sapphic romance (not even necessarily instead of WHWW lol, I just genuinely think that story works better with queer women in the show's context), why I don't like Benedict's book and would essentially rip it apart from the ground up in an adaptation, gender flipped or not.

And I know that there's absolutely nothing in WHWW that, in context, suggests that Michael was trying to force Fran into anything she didn't want. Because, guess what? Those out of context quotes? Don't give you the full extent of either of their mindsets, ESPECIALLY Fran's. I think @triviareads was dead on about it reading like Fran had a bit of a breeding kink, at least by the pretty mild Bton standards. She's real turned on when he threatens~ to get her pregnant.

And Fran being in touch with her sexuality to the extent that she NEEDS IT and knows that she needs it, and is aware that ~ooooh he's getting aggressive and I'm... into it?~ is kind of one of the things that sets her book apart. Because every other Bton heroine is honestly kind of a megavirgin lol. Even the older ones who've heard things are SUUUUPER passive in the bedroom, for the most part. Fran is the one who gets actively carnal because she's had a healthy, enjoyable sex life before. She knows she loves sex. She's just self-flagellating for enjoying sex SO much with Michael specifically, and trying to deny what she knows better than any other heroine in that series, she'll enjoy. And then she gets turned on by the idea of him just ~taking her, so it's a double-edged sword. Because now she's setting herself up for like. Perma-arousal.

And here's something else about why context is so important for romances especially, historical romances perhaps most of all. As much as consent does have hard lines (when someone revokes consent, you stop) there is also a lot of internal shit going on. How many times have we heard someone say "I didn't say no, but I didn't want it". Consent is obviously a huge part of romance (and that isn't to say that you can't write a romance novel wherein consent is violated or dubious; that just doesn't remove its importance to the narrative). And there is a LOT going on internally with regards to consent.

I mean, I'm reading a book right now where the heroine tells the hero "I want you to kiss me, but my body is acting allergic to kisses" (due to her trauma). They have to have a REALLY clear talk about consent, and this is only after he really misinterprets what she said, and she misinterpreted what he was doing, which almost led to disaster. None of this would work if you weren't in both of their heads at different points in the encounter. (I mean, it still won't work for some readers, but it works for me.) If I pulled out of context quotes from that scene, you'd say "Oh my God, he was trying to rape her". If you read it in context, you can say "I don't like how this was written and I dislike this and I don't think this author did that well" for sure.

But you can't argue, with the context, that he thought he was violating her consent. Because the book EXPLICITLY says exactly what he thought was going on, and what she thought was going on, and it was a genuine miscommunication of what they wanted from the scene. Does it mean that he did not violate her consent? Nope! It does mean that it wasn't his intention. Do with that as you will, but KNOW THE CONTEXT.

As for the Daphne of it all... Lol, I'll just never understand where people come from when they try to act like that wasn't what it was. Enjoy it all you want. Even with the issues inherent to it, I still think that was probably the strongest season. But like... she raped him. I can own that I prefer that season to the others, but I'll also own that she did that. Look! It's that simple.

And I also think there's in general a weird thing with the discourse surrounding that scene, because I always see people say, "Yeah, but he compromised her bodily autonomy by lying to her about his fertility and leaving her in the dark about how babies are made". Like... yes? I agree? But that's a separate issue lol. When you present it as like, a counter to "Daphne raped Simon", it feels as if you're implying that he deserved it...? That doesn't sit right with me.

Also, if this was a story wherein a man found out his wife was lying to him about how cum works and was taking the pill the whole time, and retaliated by replacing her pills with sugar pills and coming inside her, we would never have a debate about who was MORE WRONG. Like, y'all both did something shitty, but one of those things... is rape.

So it's just weird to me to compare that to the WHWW scenes, because like. Michael is like "I'm gonna fuck you and fuck you until you get pregnant" but... he never... at all... forces himself on Fran. Nor does he keep her there against her will, or coerce her into sleeping with him by denying her financial support. Both of which are things he could do. He could keep her there, and he could cut her off until she submits to his will. Fran could leave at any time, and she could say no at any time. Not only does she NOT do those things... she initiates the kind of sex she's curious about having with him (cowgirl, ooooh aaaaaaah).

And it's IMPORTANT that Fran is able to take ownership of her sexuality. That's a big part of what her story is about, dude. She has a different relationship with Michael than she did John, and part of that is expressed in the kind of sex they have together. Like. Michael is genuinely a sweet guy with Fran when they're not getting down and dirty. He is genuinely that man. He's honestly, generally speaking for most of that book, less dominating with Fran than a lot of the other heroes are. They're BUDDIES. In a way, the alpha rake role he plays with her when they get heated feels like he's slipping into a persona for her. Almost like... he's being wicked... and giving her a look at what he was like... when he was wicked...

(I mean, all of this is also kinda foreshadowed in that Fran, a fully married woman, used to ask him to tell stories about his various fuckabouts in his rakesona lol. She's intrigued by that version of him before John died, so it makes sense that it's something she likes him to do when they're fucking. It's like. Borderline roleplaying.)

ANYWAY! Point is, just read shit before you start using it to support your arguments. If you haven't read that shit in context and prefer Michaela, all you have to do is say that you like it. Or say that hey, at the end of the day, the show needs queer rep, and you're happy that it's happening and excited. I mean... as someone who considers WHWW the best book in the series, I think that's completely fair. (Any critique I have of that plot has to do entirely with how it's being executed—lol, I truly think I was one of the first people to come up with "Michaela" off the cuff years ago when I was in the trenches saying that it was totally cool for any storyline to be genderflipped. Would I have done Benedict or Eloise's or both? Yup! Because I think they both lend themselves to it more naturally, and... don't work as m/f romances so why not go for it?)

But you seriously don't need to bother acting as if this needs to happen because a book you didn't read was problematic. They're like, 20 years old, dude. They all need updates for a 2024 audience. If you use that logic, you could genderflip any one of these books. Daphne raped Simon, Anthony got super weird about Kate not wanting to have sex on the wedding night, Benedict kept pushing a woman (his family's employee lmao) for sex after she said ' employee lmao) for sex after she said he needed a ring and he didn't wanna give her a ring, Sir Philip raped Marina, and that's just a bit of it, Michael went to India for reasons that Don't Sound Great, Bro, what with him being an English aristo in the 1800s. I don't remember the last two books, but I'm sure you can find shit.

And ultimately...? None of it matters? Just enjoy what you enjoy. The people who aren't open to Michaela aren't going to be won over because you're arguing that the book they enjoyed was bad. And frankly, it's pretty likely that most of the people who don't want Michaela didn't read that book either. It's probably because.... they just.... don't like.... queer people............. or queer women specifically because for some people it's all fun and games when two hot guys are kissing but when women wanna shack up we suddenly have an issue....................

[softlyapocalytpic]

Thinking about religion in the vaults-

(Disclaimer: I'm not religious! I used to be but my perspective as more of someone effected by it than as a believer.)

I haven't seen a lot of canon material depicting it, but we know that Vault Chaplain is a job people can get:

(What Brotch has to say about getting this in the G.O.A.T)

But in the case of Vault 101, the ultimate authority isn't God, but the Overseer, so I don't believe that worship is actually highly encouraged. Unless Dictators are using faith to leverage their power and give themself divine authority, it can be disadvantageous to insinuate that there is a higher authority than them! In the case of Vault 101, there's a difference of regime between Alphonse Almodovar and the people who came before him. Before Alphonse, Vault 101 was open and seemed to have a "laxer" atmosphere compared to when came into power and started spouting a lot of xenophobic bullshit.

Dictators tend to either use God to support their authority or tear down religious institutions to assert that their will is more powerful than God. We know that Alphonse used his authority given to him by Vault-Tec, his own charisma, and the loyalty of Security to enforce his authority and he cares more about preserving the "purity" of the vault. He says 'God' once in all of his dialogue:

So, clearly there is some level of religious institutions in vaults because it's America and assumed Christianity is at play here as well as preserving the American ideal. However, it's in Vault-Tec's best interests to push the narrative that they and everyone affiliated with them are of highest authority so that they can keep people under their control.

I don't have things to cite for this one because I can't find a good source, but while the Enclave sponsored and was involved with Vault-Tec, Vault-Tec wasn't actually loyal to them. While the Enclave was supposed to have information sent to them about the vaults I do believe none of it actually went to them and we have repeated examples of the Enclave trying to force their way inside Vaults. If Vault-Tec wanted to let the Enclave in there would've been protocols for this for vault dwellers, but I personally haven't see anything of the like. Vault-Tec was committed to "preserving" America in name. In reality, we all know that they cared more about experimentation. Religion was most likely viewed as a tool to experiment on humanity, and if not made to be front and center, it took a backseat within vault functions.

Vault Boy replaces or accompanies religious figures and Vault-Tec propaganda either is tied into or replaces religious scripture. Obeying the Overseer is said before obeying God, to disobey the Overseer (Vault-Tec) would be to be a sinner. The USA already has such a strange relationship with religion and twisting it for it's own gain either in State or culturally and bastardizing their own beliefs. It's constant hypocrisy and I feel like the cherry-picking and bastardization is at an all-time high in vaults.

That, and anything other than Christianity is ridiculed and squashed unless being manipulated and abused in a vault experiment. Any of the beauty of religions is warped, twisted, and sanitized. Rather than there being someone benevolent watching over you and protecting you it's emphasized for surveillance. Community is emphasized to keep you from thinking individualistically because there is no upward movement to a society where everyone has their place. There's none of the religious ecstasy of worship, because you can't be dedicated to another higher power.

I have my own complex feelings on religion, but it's undeniable that there is beauty and good in it. That forcibly taking it away from people and bastardizing it is still fucked up, and I feel like the Vault would take all the good of religion and use it's most fucked up parts. Religious trauma squared. It's honestly very typically American ;;

[ashenvein-gate]

A meditation on chaos and order in popular storytelling

Trouble with contemporary stories about law/order versus chaos: even when writers seek nuance by not positioning law as intrinsic good, they still accept the Christian definition of chaos. It's a bad faith distortion meant to paint law as the only reasonable option.

Chaos, in both its original Greek sense and actuality, doesn't mean "rejection/destruction of order", it refers to the full range of possibilities and potential. Chaos is only "against" the Christian order because that order seeks to choke out all alternatives, to deny possibility and change.

While I'm on the subject, rejection of chaos is inherently transphobic, as it necessarily entails rejecting the possibility, or at least the worth, of becoming something other than what one presently appears to be.

And this is the core: "order", to define itself, must reject chaos. As part of this rejection, order's inventers always try to portray a symmetrical relationship, a duality--but that relationship doesn't exist. Chaos isn't innately opposed to order. It can't be, because order is a possibility, a potential outcome, which means it is an expression of chaos. Namely, order is a form of chaos that rejects all other forms of chaos.

This is why I call order "a very narrow chaos"--at the root, that's all it is. What we call "order" is the chaos of possibilities solid enough to endure for a while.

But if you just come out and say "I want these possibilities to persist because I like them and they work for me", well--it's pretty hard to use that as a foundation for a superiority complex, nor as a justification to trample the possibilities others like. "Order" is a construct invented to ennoble oppression, to paint the erasure of others' desires and potential as important work that upholds the cosmos.

A story accurately depicting the relationship between order and chaos would start with a community of people happily going about their lives, minding their own business, doing what works for them without trying to control anyone else, only for a bunch of armed raving fanatics to stampede in screaming, "How dare you degenerate vermin violate the natural order?! Justice will be swift!" and murder everyone who refuses to do as these invaders command.

Ordermongers need you to believe that "chaos" means "angry psychopaths barging into your life and destroying everything" because otherwise you'd very quickly realize that's what they do. The narrative of order has, from its inception, been a propaganda tool of empire and of fascist regimes.

And your reflex, because this is what most of you have been taught to assume, will be to say, "but total chaos is completely random, everything changes so fast--"

But see, now you're echoing that Christian caricature again. That's. Not. What. Chaos. IS.

Well, it can be--but it doesn't have to! True chaos is the continuous emergence and fostering of potential. Persistence is just as real and solid a form of potential as randomness is. Want to see a perfect chaos? Look at the room you're sitting in as you read this. Perfectly-manifest possibilities.

These misunderstandings are the entire point of the Christian caricature. The whole point is to make you assume that chaos means "scary bad thing that will destroy my reality and kill me," so that even if you don't like law and order, you'll see favoring chaos as equally unappealing.

The obvious example here are all the "morally grey" depictions of the conflict between God and the Devil, where, reliably, both are portrayed as equally asinine... which, in fairness, most Christian depictions make them out to be!

But, see, they're both a very narrow chaos--both "orderly." God does indeed embody Order, in the sense that Order is an invention, a made-up thing central to the Christian religion as a justification for forcing itself upon other people, but it's a fallacy to assume the Devil thus represents Chaos just because he stands against God. In most stories about their conflict, the Devil doesn't hate Order, he just hates God's order. He wants God deposed so he can make everything follow his plans instead, so he can narrow Chaos to express only the things that he likes.

So in the modern "morally grey" version, the "good" option usually ends up being rejecting both of them, which I agree with, so as to pursue one's own possibilities... which, if you've read this far, you already know I'm going to tell you IS CHOOSING YOUR OWN CHAOS.

Buuuuut framing it that way might lead to serious questions about why, if that's what chaos can be, we're so heavily discouraged from pursuing it in our own lives, and that would make it very hard to package milquetoast centrism as "morally grey" instead of just submissive and amiably defeatist.

[desifleabag]

A few days ago, I was drunk, standing on the terrace with a beer in hand, conversing with my best friend. The night sky stretched out above, the city skyline visible. She asked me, "What if these plans, dreams, and the career I desire don't work out?"

As the alcohol coursed down my throat, I welled up with tears due to the thoughts swirling in my mind. After a pause, I responded, "You know, at least you dare to pursue what you love. You have the will to live to take classes for your passion to pave the path toward your dreams. You have the guts to envision your aspirations and keep believing in them. In a world where people dictate what to do and what not to do, it's a challenge to follow your heart and persist amidst the chaos. You consistently choose to be true to yourself, even though this world attempts to control your dreams, preferences, and dislikes. Look at yourself; you keep choosing yourself because you have faith in your abilities. Believing in oneself is no small feat. Look at me; I couldn't even tell my aspirations to my parents out of fear that they might throw me out or subject me to torment for dreaming. Today, merely acknowledging what I want from life and imagining my dreams is frightening. Undoubtedly, dreaming can be daunting. But when I dare to dream, the reality of what society and my parents have instilled in me often crushes my hopes. You could say I'm like Raju from '3 Idiots' because I'm afraid. I fear that the five years I've invested in my dreams haven't paid off because I lacked concentration, efficiency, consistency, and the ability to work hard. I admit to these shortcomings. As you grow older, some things shine so brightly that you yearn to seize them and savour the moment. Back then, I allowed this vast void and loneliness to consume me with various distractions, which I now deeply regret. I wasn't taking responsibility for my failures back then, but today I want to say to myself loudly that I indeed faltered over the past five years. I couldn't reach my full potential. I believed I was mediocre. I accepted my parents' notion that I wasn't a hard worker, and I resigned myself to being an average student in college. I'm genuinely sorry for that. Five years ago, in my purple diary, I had a list of dreams and a bucket list to fulfil. Today, I've checked off some boxes but lack the strength to check the others. I feel like giving up, but I don't want to. Every time I pass by a temple, I pray to God for the strength to overcome my obstacles and problems because I know that failure should fuel your determination to achieve your dreams. But, I don't know why, it has made me feel worse about myself, and I haven't risen from the ashes. Perhaps one day, I'll burst into those ashes, regretting that I didn't even attempt to accomplish what I desired. That would be humiliating for me when it comes to pursuing my dreams, the pressure of perfectionism and the fear of failure often loom large in my life. Sometimes, it feels as though these feelings are etched on my face. When I embark on a new endeavour, I yearn for success, but I've come to realize that it's not up to us to determine whether our goals and dreams will come to fruition. All we can do is put in the effort and remain passionately dedicated to our aspirations, leaving the outcome to the universe. Personally, I i perceived this different exampleexample, while I have a deep desire to play football, I catch myself constantly checking the scoreboard during the game. It's as if I'm questioning how I can truly enjoy playing football and achieve victory when my focus is fixed on the score.

Now, I can relate to Ved from 'Tamasha,' and how it led him to live a life he never wanted but was forced into. When your heart yearns for something, and you can't pursue it, it's one of the most profound sorrows I've ever experienced. I want to tell my parents and family that the dreams they've chosen for me are not my own. I don't want to end up like Ved; I want to be Don. I don't want to be like Raju; I want to be RRanchod Das I want to be Veera. I want to be Aisha. I want to live a life that's about me. I'll try again. I'll dare to dream and work relentlessly for what I've always wanted." After saying this, tears streamed down my face, and my best friend gazed at me, saying, "We will."

[beautifullilacsky]

"Will you overthinking this?" He asked as we were walking hand in hand in the park.

Me, fully aware I have already started overthinking the moment he mentioned that her friend broke off her relationship: "....... juuup"

"What are you overthinking about? Lets discuss it together, let me help"... I explained how, maybe, now that she is single, she might try to get over a guy by getting under another one. Or maybe, since you guys tall about problems and are pretty close, she turns to flirting now that she is single. "Okay and? Why would I get into that while I have my girlfriend at home? I would say no thank you. Also, I don't think she is the person to do that. I have met her before she was in a relationship, and she also wasn't like this then". Okay, well, .. maybe she will have heard bad things about me and will not like me or she will think I am not good enough for you, or too much, and tell you to break up with me. I mean, I'm in a relationship with you, not with her, but ja, well... He put his arms around me and stopped us from walking on, hugging me from behind. "Sometimes I forget how insecure you can be. Do you really think I'll just break up with you because someone tells me to? And besides, I think you should meet her. She is really kind and everytime I mentioned something, she was always more on the reassuring side." Well, I also thought your other friend was kind.. "..... true. ..... I don't have an argument against that."

"So... if she were to still be in a relationship, would it be okay? .. meh, I feel like that's a bad excuse. "Yeah she is in a relationship anyway" , as if that changes anything. Doesn't that sound like a bad thing to you?" Hmm. Well. Honestly, I felt better when she was in a relationship, assuming it wasn't an u know who typa relationship. It's always a 2 people's decision. And that way, I am at least sure that one side is on the no side (as I said it out loud, I realized how fuckedup it sounded.) "Shouldn't you trust me to already be on the no side?" .... I should, yes. I just don't know what to make of the fact that you told me that you can't promise me that it won't happen again. "That was a year ago" .... "back then I wasn't super sure, and before that I was def not sure. Also, I did not want to force you to trust me (def different exact words from his, buthey, u get the point.). It's been a year." Would you get back to it and say something different now then? "Yes. I am sure that it will never happen again".

And there it was. I know he is a firm believer in actions over words, but sometimes I need words to be sure. He told me that he tells me the truth, and I know he does. Thus, if he tells me, I believe him. So. Maybe this is what I needed to truly get to trusting him again. His word. It's not a signed contract, I know. I can't sue him if his words turn out to be false. Though, I needed this. I needed his faith in himself to make sure it won't happen again. Fuck damn hey. I needed him to believe in himself. If he doesn't believe he will stop it the next time, who am I to believe so? Well well well. Before he left, if our roommate wasn't sitting right next to me, I would've said after he asked me if I'm still okay (for like, the 3th time): "if you say it won't happen again, I trust you." Fuck. And I'd mean it. I feel like I have entered a new reality. One in which it is safe for me to have faith in him. In which, sure, maybe a girl will flirt with him, but I can laugh about it. I can be proud to be with that hotstuff that she can't help but talk to. I can make jokes about it and raise my eyebrows up and down. I can do it all, and enjoy the situation, knowing. Truly knowing. That it doesn't matter at all if the other party is on the "yes-boat". He isn't, and he won't get onto it either. Even if a chance presents itself, he won't even see it as one. He has the set in stone plan to come back home to me. Even if she would get him drunk and touch him all over, ... he will say no. Even if it scares me more with booze, he is still himself. He doesn't get into a crazy trans and turns into a different person with different values. He is still the same person who held my hand as we walked in the autumn colored park, and said that it would never happen again.

It feels like something in me has been freed. As if trust was a fluffy creature within me, which was tied down. His words freed it. It still can't believe that the tiny trust guy is free. That it's safe to stand up now and run and smile and truly trust. It's astonished, grasping for those words that set it free. Wanting to hold them and craving for them to invade its veins with its lightning energy and brightness. May it no longer feel the need to stay on the ground; the ties have been undone. Fuck.

[baga24]

‘’The Crossroads’’ Part 16 ANTI-CULTISTS MANIPULATE PUTIN

I continue to introduce you, dear readers, in text format to the speech of esteemed Egon Cholakian in his landmark video address 

“The Crossroads”.

So:

“ANTI-CULTISTS MANIPULATE PUTIN

Mr. Putin, as someone who loves history and knows it well, can you not see the horrific similarities between the current course of your country and the tragic path of Nazi Germany under Hitler's leadership? Or are you consciously ignoring the apparent facts, leading your country and the world to the brink of disaster?

Can you not see the similarities between the slogans and narratives of propaganda in your country and those of Nazi Germany? Have you not noticed that you are already following the same path as Hitler, even speaking his words?

Remember history—Hitler's path began with a party concerned with the welfare of workers and Christians. But once they became entangled with anti-cultists and specific influential religious figures, they transformed into a monstrosity that shook the world.

Today, you, Mr. Putin, and your party are treading the same road, repeating this fateful path step by step.

 The truth is that behind you stand the direct heirs and followers of those who once gave rise to Nazism and manipulated Hitler. The same sinister forces that once plunged the world into war and suffering are pulling the strings today, controlling you.

Look closely at those who stand behind you.

Yes, we know that you have intentionally created competing groups within your inner circle. You aimed to maintain a balance of power, ensuring that you remained the unrivaled player in this complex political game. 

You tried to position the pieces on the chessboard so that no one could defeat you. Your strategy was brilliant. But face the truth: one of these factions has outplayed not only its rivals but you as well.

 Now, while you believe you have everything under control, the reality is that this group has been manipulating you for quite some time.

 You are following the rules they dictate. Can't you see how methodically they are eliminating your faithful supporters and replacing them with puppets who serve their misanthropic agendas?

I am about to tell you something that no one else dares to say. And do you know why? Because, unlike those people you have surrounded yourself with, I want nothing from you: no power, no money, no privileges.

 The only thing I want is for you to regain your common sense. For you to finally analyze the situation on your own, without the influence of your "advisors." I assure you, the picture you will see will vastly differ from the one they are painting for you.

You, like Hitler in his time, have been subjected to covert mind manipulation and have been implanted with false beliefs. You are being deliberately turned into the new Führer of the 21st century. 

And it was done by those you allowed close to you, who are now near you but operate behind your back. 

Many of your convictions result from their deliberate coding of your mind. Reflect on this, remember what you initially aspired to achieve when you took office and where you have ultimately led the country today.

Look at yourself. Don't you see how radically you've changed? Remember who you were and what you aimed for, and compare that to who you have become.

 I remember the ideas you came with and where you started, Mr. Putin. You had ambitious plans—you wanted to join NATO and establish a visa-free regime with the USA. You sought integration with the West and the democratization of the country. What happened to those aspirations?

I'll tell you what happened. Those who secretly manipulate you didn't let it happen. They influenced your politicians, your entourage, and you. They elevated you to the heavens just to later bring you down, just as they did with Hitler and Stalin.

You have been masterfully manipulated by those whom you trust unconditionally. Your so-called "advisors" and "allies" have spent years drilling into your head that the USA is your main enemy. They whispered that it is we who sabotage your plans, plot against you, and wish you harm. They made you believe that it was the USA that crushed your plans. But that's a lie.

It was not the USA that thwarted your initiatives and ambitious plans. It was those who now stand behind your back, whom you consider your trusted confidants. It is they who methodically, step by step, created the conditions that made your original goals impossible.

They gradually changed your course, steering you further and further away from your initial intentions. And they did this not in the interests of your country but for their own purposes.

Moreover, these same people, being representatives of global anti-cultism, through their branches in the USA, actively sabotaged cooperation between our countries. They played a double game, destroying the bridges we tried to build.

                    ***

Open your eyes! These ideologues of modern Nazism are not just playing with you — they have turned you into a pawn in their game, a game whose rules you do not know. Those you trust lead you towards isolation and confrontation, destroying all chances for progress and international cooperation.

Your entourage applauds your every step, but these are applause on the way to the abyss. They are not rejoicing in your successes but in their growing power over you. And while you indulge in the illusion of power, they have almost achieved their goals.

You do not see most of what is really happening. You are being played just like the whole of Russia and the rest of the world by true grandmasters whose existence you are not even aware of. 

But the most frightening thing is that some of these puppet masters are in your closest circle, among those you shake hands with. If they were not close to you, they would not be able to so methodically destroy democracy and instill Nazi ideology in your country.

You are blind to what is happening around you. All over the world—and in your country as well—the "agents of influence" of these hidden grandmasters sow chaos and violence and organize monstrous terrorist attacks, including mass shootings in schools: this is methodical testing of terror and covert mind manipulation technologies, and your country has become a testing ground for these experiments.

                  ***

You publicly claim that you know who organized the tragic terrorist attack at Crocus City Hall. But do you know that you regularly meet and shake hands with those who are actually behind organizing this attack?

These are the ones who ultimately benefit from it. When they meet you personally, they smile to your face and praise you, showering you with flattery. Meanwhile, behind your back, they meticulously planned and executed "Crocus." 

They did this to weaken your position and show you how vulnerable you are. 

Secondly, this attack was meant to pit Christians against Muslims, to incite inter-religious hatred, create internal tension, expel Muslim migrants, and significantly weaken Islam in Russia. 

This is another step in their strategy to change Russia's fate in the near future. 

Only a few representatives of your FSB—more accurately, now the Gestapo—are aware of this scenario for Russia's future, but they will never tell you about it.

What I am saying is not a prediction or prophecy. It is merely the result of quality intelligence. Real intelligence.

What these new-format Nazis have done to your country has already crossed all conceivable boundaries. This is practically open Nazism, and they are just one step away from proclaiming it openly.

## TO BE CONTINUED…

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[great-kung-lao]

why dont you like multishipping?

I think it is deeply rooted in my psychology. I have experienced parents divorce at the very early age and it affected my perception of relationships for life. One might say that's one of the major reasons I'm so strongly into shipping. Since I don't have healthy love examples in real life, I'm searching for it in fiction. I think the concept of love is beautiful and I want to believe in its existence. Unfortunately I have no irl examples to follow and in order to keep my faith in love going I keep on shipping.

There are two things I need in life in order to feel happy: loyalty and consistency. If I have an OTP, I will be forever loyal to it. I can't have my OTP shipped with other characters because to me it would feel like I force/encourage infidelity. I have no room for cheating, so I won't cheat on my OTPs as well. You might bring up stuff like multiverse and stuff, but that's where consistency part comes in. In my belief OTP stays together even across realities/timelines/dimensions/reincarnations/etc. They never get with somebody else, because both characters are always pulled towards each other like under gravity. Love that persists through infinite universes is very beautiful to me and I'm sticking with it.

But that's a me thing. That's how I feel. I'm in no way discourage you to multiship. It's your life, do whatever you want with it. I just told what I decided to do with mine.