#but through text????? 100%
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Eden trying to help his antisocial friends make friends.
While Lenny has some other friends, Tobias has no one other than Eden so Eden has taken it upon himself to find at least ONE other person Tobias can consider a friend.
Surprise surprise it was a success, more or less.
#art#digital art#lunar cafe#melonjelllo lunar cafe#lunar cafe eden#lunar cafe lenny#lunar cafe tobias#their texts to each other are literally just photos of people they think look weird but not in a judgey way#and strange gossip bits#they would never gossip out loud#but through text????? 100%
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oh, physical media my beloved...media I can hold in my hands my beloved...VHS tapes, CDs, books, cassettes...DVDS even, if you will
#sighs lovingly as I turn on a DVD at work without having to go through 100 menus and wait for wifi#talking#discussion#text
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In mp100 you can def tell that the main cast are kids, if you tell me mob's 14 Id buy it, he looks like a 14 yo, and acts like one, same with the rest of the younger cast (except the body improvement club lmao), however if you tell me jotaro is 17 im not gonna believe it, and same thing with many other anime protagonists.
And they look so much like kids that during fights i often cant help but just look in shock at the screen, the koyama fight was almost hard to watch, youre just seeing this kid get violently beat up and its horrible. The first encounter with Teru also goes with this, its so heartwrenching to see these two kids pushing each other to their limits. Something something, reigen not letting the kids fight at the end of 1s and worrying about mob during the 2s
Then you also have moments of realization of: WHAT DO YOU MEAN A 14YO TORNADO'D THROUGH AN ENTIRE FUCKING CITY???
#it just grounds you#it hits you violently with a brick#A 14YO IS GOING THROUGH THIS SHIT????#mob psycho 100#mob text#mp100#ami chat
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Kingdom Hearts 2 - Hunny Slider
#kingdom hearts 2#kh2#sora#pooh#100 acre wood#my gif#this minigame is so fun. i love the visuals here and how they utilize the storybook elements by having you jump through pages#i paused to read the words on the pages and learned something interesting#it's lifted directly from the 1926 winnie the pooh book#specifically the third paragraph in the introduction where piglet is asking if he's in the book#however part of the passage cuts off and has moments where the text is copy pasted and repeats itself#still pretty neat
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mods are asleep post the cut "You can imply griz wants to impregnate Mr Pages, to Mr Pages" conversation from mask of the rose
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#fallen london#Mask of the rose#Spoilers#I love motr there's so much that's just. So funny.#I've 100% it and now going through the text to see stuff I missed (much) amd for referencing#Rat church scene still maybe my fav moment. I had no idea that was going to happen
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So I never did tell you guys about this AU I had where Mob runs away from home after the new years incident, eventually being found my Tsuchiya and brought into Claw, where they ruthessly try to train and manipulate the kindness and pacifism out of him, until one day it just all gets too much and he explodes, destroying the whole facility, which brings Mob to Shou's attention and he decides he Needs Mob by his side to defeat his father, and they basically become worsties (Mob not wanting to fight at all and fearing his powers more than ever, and Shou being. the opposite of that), until they succeed, which causes them to split basically out of the trauma of Mob truly fucking killing someone, and Shou realizing maybe he didn't want his dad completely gone after all, and then Mob basically becomes even more homeless and completely alone, until he meets Reigen who's working at a flower shop and beefing with Minegishi and their flower shop business, and tada, he has a child now I guess.... did I? Anyways-
#mob psycho 100#mp100#au#kageyama shigeo#suzuki shou#art#these pieces are kinda sloppy cause i just wanted to get some ideas out but yea#my own art#my own post#comic#id in alt text#also both when mob destroyed claw and when he killed touchirou he entered ???% state.... shou at first just admired the sheer power of it#but now hes not so sure what to think....#mobs just even more traumatised than he is in canon#and ritsu has been trying to locate shige all this time eventually awakening his powers and focusing on aura spotting and locating abilitie#still have to think through more on what goes on ritsu's side of the story tho...#i have to draw reigen from this au interacting with minegishi and mob sometime#anyways im just really fascinated by sho's and mob's relationship and how they see each other so i had to make an entire au#to explore more of that lol#(also mob is disquieted and upset at the haircut because it reminds him of all the good memories he had in the past#and how he's Not that person anymore and doesn't Deserve to even Look like that person anymore#he has blood on his hands now... the old shigeo is gone#thus why his hair is so long and shaggy in this au)
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Serirei Week !!
Day 3: firsts/love languages
Reigen finds himself speechless (rare occasion)
continuation below but it's written form !! ↓↓
Serizawa gave him a slight nod, his face unreadable but tense. He gently directed Reigen towards the couches and sat him down. Wordlessly sitting beside him, he opened the first aid kit and rummaged through it.
Reigen watches in cautious silence, eyeing his coworker's rigid movements. The cloth he used to temporarily cover the large scratch left by the spirit was starting to itch. He slowly untied the knot with his uninjured hand and peeled off the blood-soaked makeshift bandage. It was drying off, but it still looked terrible. Four large gashes across his forearm, it almost looks like a scratch from a big cat.
Serizawa shifting closer brought Reigen's attention back to him. Their eyes met for a second before Serizawa looked down at his arm with a wince. Guilt evident on his face as he wet a towel with water and started to wipe off the blood with the lightest touch he could manage. Reigen swallowed the lump in his throat, the tense silence was getting to him so he spoke up.
"This could be part of your training, you know." He lightly joked, shrugging with his unoccupied shoulder. "It's important to know first aid, especially in our line of work." Serizawa's eyebrows furrowed as a frown formed on his face, but didn't take his eyes off his work, nor did he say anything back. As soon as the blood that smeared was gone, he grabbed the disinfectant and a cotton ball.
It was gonna sting, Reigen already knew that, but he still felt his heart flutter when Serizawa glanced up at him with a sorry look and muttered, "This might sting..."
Reigen didn't miss the way Serizawa was holding his hand with his free hand. He didn't miss the way his thumb was soothing the back of his palm with light strokes. He didn't miss the way he could feel the warmth radiating off of Serizawa's body just from how close they were sitting. Reigen felt himself gulp, not sure if it was in preparation for the pain, or to force himself back to retain his composure.
He let out a small hiss and a wince, before letting it dissipate quickly upon seeing Serizawa's face look more like a kicked puppy. He knows the man felt guilty for not arriving quick enough to prevent the spirit from hurting Reigen further. It wasn't his fault though. He can't blame Serizawa, not when he looked this sorry.
Gentle, flitting hands finally wrapped the wound in a bandage and secured it carefully. When it was done, Serizawa didn't move away, but instead let his hand rest on the wrapped arm, slowly rubbing his thumb against it like it would help heal the wound faster. It might, Reigen could hope. He could hope that this moment lasts. He looked up at Serizawa with a soft look, hoping that his message came across. Please.
Serizawa looked up at Reigen's eyes with the same level of fondness. Despite what he feels, it still scares Reigen, to see someone look at him like that. He's scared of seeing it often that he'll get attached to it, attached to the fondness, attached to feeling loved.
He almost felt himself jump when Serizawa gently held his hand up and pressed Reigen's palm against his lips with closed eyes. It's like his heart stopped, his breath hitching as he inhaled sharply.
This seemed to wake Serizawa from whatever trance he was in and pulled away, his face flushed red. His gaze landed everywhere except Reigen's as he cleared his throat and gathered up the used cotton balls and the bloodied washcloth. "I'll, uhm, throw these away. I'll grab some ice for your neck.. and make you some green tea in a bit..." He paused, sparing Reigen a glance and assessing his state.
"I'm glad you're okay, Reigen.." Serizawa spoke again, then escaped to the restroom to clean his hands off. Reigen sat there staring at his palm, dumbfounded and speechless.
#serireiweek2023#serirei#reigen arataka#serizawa katsuya#mp100#mob psycho 100#mp100 fanart#comics#drabble#ok normal tags out of the way time to ramble#this is a bit late bc i was trying to figure out how to post this on tumblr bc of the text#but figured i'll just paste the text and edit it a bit#i havent written in a while so be nice :(#i couldn't convey what i wanted to show through comic bc i felt like i lacked skills for that#so i wrote it instead... hoping it's good . would love to hear feedback what u think of the writing#thank u i'll work on the 4th prompt later tonight#oneshot#kind of anyway#art#artists on tumblr#mi art stuff
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I haven't listened to TBS in like. almost a year, but I had to draw this. it was my calling
#fanart#the bright sessions#damien gorham#mark bryant#text meme#i have an idea for another one.. maybe ill draw it later#tbs#he 100% lied through his teeth on that test
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Maybe controversial, but on posts about being dumb where girls are like saying ‘but I’m actually smart.’ Like tbh, I don’t really believe them. Like if you’re smart why does feeling dumb feel so good or hot or whatever to you then? I kinda feel like it’s having an excuse to let go of trying as much as you would be when you’re saying your smart. If you’re like really actually smart, I don’t feel like a break from ‘being smart’ would be such a relief or like as appealing.
#if you’re on my blog much may have noticed I’m just having a lot of feelings about this more lately#like it’s okay to not be smart#you can be happier#and like I feel like I sometimes get people who try to call me smart#like there’s diff skill sets#I think I’m still pretty good at soft skills and like makeup stuff#but like I regularly can’t get left and right right or name all the months and so on for lots of things#idk. I feel like dumb doesn’t mean you’re horrible at everything#like you still have value and can make a positive impact but just in different ways#I’m a soo much happier when at work I’m more focused on being someone others really like to work w than like being efficient at my job#and honestly seems like people prefer that#I have too many thoughts about at this lately#really hoping throughing them into the intenrwbt even if it’s more in tags gets out of my head more#personal#also very much not at a 100 notes but for a text post from me it’s impressive so…#100+#little thoughts
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@redvsbluesecretsanta for @eyeaball!
they asked for something with donut, or with kai and caboose being friends, so i kinda melded those together into this, and then the rest of blue team wanted to participate…
the formatting for this was done using @sabotourist's chatlog formatting code! ty again so much raven for helping with troubleshooting! i know usually i like to put my writing both on here and on ao3 so ppl can choose where to read it but bc of the formatting this can only be read on ao3.
#rvb secret santa#red vs blue secret santa 2024#frankin donut#michael caboose#kaikaina grif#rvb#chromatic writing#its still the 26th in some places okay. im on time.#i saved all the editing and code stuff until right before i was uploading it. which should have been fine. two days is more than enough tim#except for the fact that yesterday i had a fever of over 100 and my throat is so sore and swollen i can hardly speak...........#and now i have to switch with chi so he can put the finishing touches on his piece and upload it..... lol.......................#its my fault for procastinating but without being sick it really would have taken me like 2 hours tops. oh well.#anyway i hope you enjoy it was fun to write. i LOVE trying to nail down characters texting voices#i hope they come through#you know me i could go on and on about the decisions i make in my writing lol
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Teen Wolf as Horror Subgenres
Season five B: Gothic Horror
#teen wolf#twedit#teen wolf edit#twgifs#stiles stilinski#scott mcall#malia tate#tracy stewart#theo raeken#lydia martin#my gifs#mine#twgenres#this will probably be the longest and most text heavy of this whole series don't worry y'all#also if you disagree with me just know i talked it through with a friend who has done a lot of research on the gothic genre#so i have the power of academia on my side for this one#ALSO i was initially gonna call both 5a and 5b body horror but just out of stubbornness for not wanting to include an a and a b section of#season in one gifset i set out on a quest to find something to call 5b and when i was looking through a list of horror subgenres and#saw gothic it was like i had an epiphany like it suddenly all made sooooo much sense to me#and then after talking it through with su i became 100% convinced it literally fits soo well and it makes the season even more interesting#TO ME
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Man I was trying to be nice about it because ime Christians are frequently well-meaning albeit astonishingly naive about these things (been there done that brutally disabused of those illusions, so yknow, my sympathies), but if I see one more post about how brave and relevant that sermon to Trump was I’m gonna SNAP. That kind of chance to speak truth to power and you ask for mercy? For mercy? From people who clearly despise weakness and vulnerability of any kind? FOR people who have done nothing wrong? Mercy? MERCY? That’s what you think is called for here?
Sorry but who the hell are you preaching to, because it isn’t those ghouls in the pews. If I am being very unkind, I suspect it’s to the audience of liberals who already agree with you, and who will shower you with praise for soothing their consciences and stroking their egos. It’s funny - and predictable - that conservatives are shriekingly furious about what was frankly a pretty milquetoast sermon. It’s sad that people are so accustomed to Christians kissing up to power that the softest hint of dissent is welcomed with such relief and admiration. If I’m being generous I think maybe you didn’t know what to say but felt compelled to say something, and kudos for having a backbone I suppose - but I also think you’re bad at your job.
Because it is not difficult to be much, much clearer and braver and more relevant than that. The only thing those people believe in is fear and force and power. If you really want to get through to them, speak the language they understand! Put the actual fear of God in them! It’s so easy you don’t even need to write a sermon; you can read right from the Bible. James 5 is a real classic:
Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.
Or you could try Habakkuk 2:
Woe to him who piles up stolen goods and makes himself wealthy by extortion! How long must this go on? Will not your debtors suddenly arise? Will they not wake up and make you tremble? Then you will become their victim. Because you have plundered many nations, the peoples who are left will plunder you. For you have shed man’s blood; you have destroyed lands and cities and everything in them.
Woe to him who builds his realm by unjust gain to set his nest on high, to escape the clutches of ruin! You have plotted the ruin of many peoples, shaming your own house and forfeiting your life. The stones of the wall will cry out, and the beams of the woodwork will echo it.
Zechariah 7:
And the word of the Lord came again to Zechariah: “This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor. In your hearts do not think evil of each other.’”
But they refused to pay attention; stubbornly they turned their backs and stopped up their ears. They made their hearts as hard as flint and would not listen to the law or to the words that the Lord Almighty had sent by his spirit through the earlier prophets. So the Lord Almighty was very angry.
Matthew 25:
Then he will say to those on his left, “Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.”
They also will answer, “Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?”
He will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.”
I’m quite fond of Isaiah 58, personally. Really drives home the point that surface religious observance is not just worthless but actively offensive when you’re oppressing the vulnerable:
For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God. They ask me for just decisions and seem eager for God to come near them. “Why have we fasted,” they say, “and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves and you have not noticed?”
Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please and exploit all your workers. Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high. Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?
Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter - when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
#rare moment when it is arguably 100% appropriate to tell people they are going straight to hell if they don’t shape up (:#anyway if you expect me to be impressed by someone cajoling and pleading and flattering the powerful for a tiny drop of ~mercy~: i’m not.#go big or go home. overturn their tables and chase them outta there with a whip.#don’t mince around the actual text of your holy book which is CONSIDERABLY more vicious and to the point.#do I actually expect that to get through to them either? no but it would be vastly more honest and relevant and brave#like i’m genuinely trying to appreciate the gesture but the OTT praise makes me so so so so mad i could gnaw on the walls.#walking away from omelas#lines on a map#my posts
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(╥﹏╥)
#We've had our yearly secret santa gifts exchange at my dorm and I've been gifted the first volume of Beast 😭😭😭😭😭#I'm crying forever. This december marks three years since I've watched the first b/sd episode#and yet this is the first time I actually own a b/sd manga volume. Like I own it and I can read it whenever I want!!! How cool is that!!!!!#Like there's so many Akutagawa images in it!!!! It's insane!!!!!!!! AND IT'S BEAST AT THAT#I'm deeply moved because I never spoke about it to virtually anyone here (at my dorm)?#Like I suppose a bunch of people vaguely know I like anime but only a couple of close friends know I like. Like-like reading manga lol.#And the person who gifted it DEFINITELY didn't know I like anime in general much less b/sd specifically much less Beast in particular!!!!!#I'm 100% sure (they just arrived this year and we hadn't even had that much occasions to talk to each other).#Which means they went through the trouble of gathering intel from my close friends about what I like and actually follow through‚#seek for the specific manga in a comic store etc... It's such a nice gesture I'm so heartwarmed.#And of course I'm glad for every gift I've received in the last years (genuinely)‚ but the fact that this was the most *specific* to what–#I like. It makes it so special! They were so kind.#There must be one (1) person in this whole 60 people dorm who knows I like Beast–#(that would be the girl who introduced b/sd to me in the first place) and the fact that they asked them for it...#I feel both very grateful and lucky lol#When I unwrapped it!!! Like I thought it was just a random book which would have been nice but like!!!!!#When I actually saw through the thin paper the cover!!!! The scream I screamed in my head#Anyways!!!! I own a b/sd manga now!!!!! I've only got time to go through the first chapter so far but it's suchhhh an experience.#It's like reading it for the first time again 😭😭😭 Half because the translation is so much different than the English one lol.#And I basically know the English version by heart. Half because I never saw this kind of high quality!!!!! It's!!!!! Insane!!!!! Like!!!!!!#I'm crying 😭😭😭 The drawings are so sharp and crisp (in the good way). The lines are so clean there's no disturbance at all#I literally never saw anything so good in my life I'm crying a little. I'm so so glad they blessed me with Beast specifically#The takebon edition is pretty cheap (it's just planet manga so there's no color illustrations or dust cover or anything unfortunatelly.#But to make up for it the volumes are significantly cheaper then let's say J-Pop)#There's also some unique typesetting choices? The text from the book-like boxes is in lowercase which is interesting!#Initially I thought I wouldn't have liked the translation (opening it randomly there was Akutagawa saying “crepa!” (“die!”) to Dazai in ch1#Which was kinda jarring since it's very low register and everyone knows Akutagawa has very complex speech patterns.)#But actually reading it I'm really enjoying the translation so far!!!!#There's so many choices that made me grasp details I actually missed all the times I've read the English translation.#That is to say! Very excited to read it!!!! Will probably make a review / translation commentary if I can find the time!!!!!
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The gang’s all here!! They’re on the case!! And there’s no ghost that they wouldn’t chase!!!!!
@mysticalcats’s Foxglove, @toki-toro’s Chaumet, @emimii’s Clownaire, and my own Bluebelle :)
#this was indeed the project I was working on lmao#WHY DID THIS TAKE 17 BILLION YEARSSSSSS#I actually rly like how the actual paint turned out#ESPECIALLY FOR FOXGLOVE SQUEEEEE#he looks so cute….and I got all the colors mixed for Chaumet#watercolor oc painting: 1#back paint neck pain headache pain: 0#no but sketching this took such! a long! time!#I just straight up could not get foxglove and bluebelle right it was maddening#but I persisted and I beat the odds‼️‼️ Yipee‼️‼️#I love all of these guys so so so much I’ll prolly never stop thinking about them#please never stop talking about your ocs ever#and I am working on being coherent about Bluebelle as we speak!!!!#I got an idea and now I’m trying to make my brain not be mean about it#literally just chanting to myself ‘YOU! CAN MAKE! IT AS WEIRD!! AS! YOU WANT!!!’#shoutout to my fairytales throughout that ages book for inspiring me#100 points and a drawing of your choice if you can figure out the story Bluebelle’s backstory is based on lmao#ANYHOW#I just be rambling in these tags I perhaps need to calm down lol#I LOVE YALLS OCS FOREVER AND EVER!!!!#clownaire was literally perfect from the start I NAILED his pose first try and then he was very supportive the rest of the way through#live laugh love 🫶🫶🫶���💐💐🩰🩰🩰#next up: Jemima painting!! with two special guests!!!#oh shit those are a lot of tags uhhhh I’m done now i promise 🫶🫶#cats the musical#cats musical#cats oc#jellicle oc#sorah’s silly scribbles#(also the text right under the drawing are a Scooby doo song LMAO it’s called Dig It Scooby Doo it’s insanely catchy)
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i feel like there's GOT to be a genre of blog that collects posts that are great blorbotagging bait but i do NOT know how to find that kind of thing
#google is NOT helping#i can find imagine your otp blogs#and relationship advice blogs#and listicles of top 20 funniest tumblr posts#but no blogs of just posts..#honestly i'd be fine with just a “general funny text posts” blog but#i can only find compilations *not on tumblr* which isn't good enough i don't want the top 100 screenshots#i want months and months of archive of actual posts to scroll through#if anyone knows a blog like this pls rec 🙏#i am looking so hard for posts that make me go 'lmao my otp would do this'#silverstarschat
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idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.
the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.
yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.
but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?
this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.
yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.
i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.
so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.
because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.
he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.
but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.
yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.
#UGH. sick of this stupid show (<- pathologically obsessed with it (it's just on a downturn rn))#anyway hi welcome back to my terrible mind here's another excruciatingly long yyh meta post no one's gonna read that i should just make a#video essay because nobody wants to squint through all that text but MAYBE they'd listen to me read it out. anyway#i actually made and then abandoned another post comparing yusuke's sacrifice here to genkai's death by toguro if anyone's interested in tha#anyway yeah sorry if im rusty in uh talkking about these guys. they're still rattling around in here dw#that comment just fucking hijacked my brain. my first thought was to make an ep 89 yusuke pov fic but since that's Probably not#gonna ever Actually get done (sorry) i figured i'd put the analysis behind it here bc this fucking choice makes me want to rip my hair out#(in a good way in a painful way)#yeah this gets derailed. ugh i hope all that stuff about yusuke's motivation in this gambit makes sense bc i still don't feel 100% about my#reading of it. his ass IS very much an unreliable narrator. but in what way? ehhhhh it's hard to say for sure in this case. to me.#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yyh meta#yayyy#yusuke urameshi#literally wrote for so long the sun started rising (<- not impressive since you don't know when i began writing. but i can't tell you bc i#don't remember lol)#also: his relinquishing of this fight is very interesting to me. he loses his shit when raizen kills sensui and deprives him of that victor#and he tells the others to stand down once he returns. so clearly he still Cares about beating sensui himself#but when he thinks there's no other choice he's willing to settle for passing that torch to his friends#he's like well they've earned a good revenge killing. as a treat#the real answer is probably something like 'it would fuck with the pacing' but fuck that lol it's in the show i'm going to talk about it#and a lot of this still applies even if he Can't hear them bc he Has to expect the begging and crying bc 1. he's lived it via toguro 2. his#plan depends on it. even if he's only imagining his friends' heartbreak he's choosing to ignore it for the sake of his plan#ANYWAY the real answer for. pretty much everyone is to give up fighting and find something healthier to attach their worth to#which is why kuwa not being in the final arc is a good thing (as much as it hurts me not to see my boy)#yyh really said YOU HAVE TO BECOME WELL ADJUSTED. DYING WILL NOT GET YOU OUT OF IT#i only skimmed thru this once sorry if it's ass
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