#but this is it. this is all life is huh?
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the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.
when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."
but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.
now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.
the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.
but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."
the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.
but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?
because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!
and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#this is an incredibly difficult idea to express#but i basically keep watching the same timelooped interaction:#someone makes tradwife content where she's like ''i think it's SO sad when ppl don't have kids EW''#and then the response is ''... go fuck yourself? i think ur life is miserable and bad ?"#and instead of being like ''oh we are all under capitalism huh''#the response is like ''you CANT say that. she made a CHOICE. she is ALLOWED to have KIDS and be HAPPY#unlike YOU who is UNHAPPY bc you don't have KIDS.''#like .... these are people who will throw the first stone. and then when you lob one back#they ask why you're so violent. they tell you that you're a bad activist.#and you're like. PARDON????? you implied being a woman meant i need to submit to my husband???#and they're like - well it's just my belief. so what if i'm invalidating your entire identity.
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like mother, like son, but less wholesome this time?
(I couldn't decide whether or not to put them together, so have them in all the different ways!)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#if i had a nickel for every time a draconia ob'd while trying to save lilia#and had to be taken out by a member of this one specific bloodline with sparkly celestial hair that a fairy blessed#et cetera and so on you know the rest#i mean we know it's going to end better this time but y'know. the parallels!#oh meleanor my beloved#of course...of course she ob'd...it makes sense...#everything about this whole situation just massively sucked for everyone huh#well at least silver's biodad felt guilty about killing her i guess#i dunno i'm just havin' some feelings about all of this#lilia had both the absolute worst and absolute best things about his life come out of all this#down the two great loves of his life and also his job and reputation and 200 years of his life and uhhhh kind of everything else honestly#up some kids though!#(also one of those kids is a baby dragon who is JUST the right size to put silly hats on)#they were worth it to him! or maybe they were worth not giving up? look i am DEEP in the blorbosauce right now#if you don't want to read emotional tags about lilia twistedwonderland then don't come to egophiliac.tumblr.com
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deja vu
#parkour civilization#evbo#evbo fanart#seawatt#seawatt fanart#life series#third life#desert duo#grian third life#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar#gtws third life#watched all 4 hours of parkour civ in one sitting and was like#huh. Ive been here before.#my art
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Reverie
#oh wow jjk is done huh yippiiieeee#unfortunately I'm not tho#inspired by ending2 since I'd read that technically it wouldnt have been cold enough before shibuya for the ending to have actually happened#but ig it can now#as much as i like them being all together now its such a copout endimg man#genuinely don't believe this was the ending gege planned#but i think season 1's popularity got to them/their editors#but whatever#excited for all the people making it better#fanwork save me fanwork#dream theory my beloved its changed my life#ok bye#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#kugisaki nobara#tokyo trio#itafushi#itafushikugi#itfs#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#fanart#niinnyu comics#niinnyu arts
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drew some creatures at the amnh :0
#sketchbook stuff#artists on tumblr#went to the butterfly pavilion too#they had an exhibit called opulent ocean and gOSH :'D#basically it was like old science/field drawings(??) of marine life but museum made them#into these huge posters on the wall and they were really gorgeous to see up close oauuauaughhgh#knew I forgot something at homehahhsfs aka my brush and the incorrect charger cord#would've stayed longer but my phone was kinda running out of battery#some of the exhibits are kinda dark so I'm just scribbling away colors/hoping they look fine hAHA#kinda interesting to see them later in normal light#edit: hmm...what if I made a pdf of all the museum/aquarium drawings#edit: also huh I am like...2/3 done with this sketchbook#which is kinda cool becasue I started it in february#also almost done with the birthday sketchbook from last year
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Forget Me Not Hollow Locked Heart Fragile
I realized I never put these here. The set of my favourite four. <3
#zack fair#cloud strife#tifa lockhart#kunsel#zakkura#final fantasy vii#ffviir#ff7r#Now i'm staring at Cloud being like 'HUH. Maybe I should draw a new one for him as well HUUUUUH.'#But honestly#the Kunsel one is still my favourite out of all of these#i say while having the Cloud one on the wall above my workplace#i seriously spent three years of my life drawing stories about these four huh#las!art
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Spoiler ISAT sketch dump yay
If you get the reference for the last one youre so real🙏🙏
Update: this is now a top post and i dont like the original sketch so i put the redraw at the top, the original is below the cut. This is porely for my viewing pleasure it’s ok if you prefer the original more
#isat#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#in stars and time#isat fanart#my art#<- all my posts have these tags atp#isat-fied the life cycle of a star am i doomed#i’m gonna make the full thing once i get my isat postgame thingy together#…huh!#i do not understand the logic behind what posts blow up hskdkd#if this hits 400 notes im giving up and updating the top photo
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Life's beauty is like a myriad of flowers, and I want to pluck the one that never wilts.
#hey ruanmei gang its me again. Ya boy#i love. LOVE. overgrown nature themes and seeing her lab with all t he fucking glass TUBES and PLANTS and everything so neat and tidy i#just wanna see it all UNRAVEL bro i want it FUCKED UP#i think abt ruan mei abandoning her creations the things she raised bc they dont serve a purpose for her anymore but the plants keep reachi#g for the sunlight right. so full of life regardless of if they feel or think or speak. just like ruan mei huh.#im running out of space ill talk another time#ruan mei#honkai star rail#honkai star rail fanart#cele draws
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I'm sorry scar
#grian#goodtimeswithscar#gtws#desertduo#limited life#life series#my art#Linktoo art#YAYYYY my first little full drawing with my new huion kamvas 13 display tablet <3#anyway desertduo really came for my throat huh#''I'm sorry scar'' & he genuinely means it both times#but 3rd life he doesn't want to lose him & limited life he's ready to survive by all means necessary. He always feels like he has no choice
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1,,,, 100 days,,,,,,,,, and 800 followers,,,,,,,,,,,,,
From the bottom of my heart, thank you everyone.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#that's insane............... where did you all come from..................#isat#in stars and time#isat odile#day 100#!!!! we did it guys!!!!#Man... in no way I could've imagined that I would reach day 100 for daily odile. I mean sure I missed a lot of days but. 100 odiles...#and. almost 900 followers? Are you kidding me? What? Huh? Wow????#thank you to everyone's who's ever reblogged my art and requested stuff in the inbox#but especially to those who go wild in the tags. the tags give me life. ive collected them for power. as you can see#(tag yourself for funsies hehe)#apologies if this tag collection's a bit outdated. I actually had this prepared since 500 followers but kept getting too scared to post it#Now that we've reached 100 days it might as well be the perfect occassion to#Here's to 100 more days of unreasonable obsession to a certain old woman from a certain timeloop game!🥂#- yours truly; sketchz (casual odile enjoyer)
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The thing about 12-step programs is that the basic model involves getting a bunch of vulnerable, impulsive nutsos together in a plausibly cult-y atmosphere where they're likely to have already burned a lot of social bridges. That it doesn't turn out to be a hotbed of abuse would be the more farfetched assumption.
#the more and more distance I have from that part of my life the more I'm like wow actually what happened WAS kinda fucked up huh#dodged a bullet no big deal all's well that ends well etc but YIKES
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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new chapter 7 installment dropped how we feelin????
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
THAT'S HIS DAD
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#BABY DRAGON BABY DRAGON BABY DRAGON#i will take three thank you#god. lilia really has no idea how incredibly loved he is huh.#meleanor: (dies to protect him and her son)#malleus: (is literally born having a huge destructive tantrum because he wants lilia back)#silver: (bases his entire life and personality around how much he loves his dad)#lilia: wow i just can't understand why everyone is so upset about me dying#(somehow sebek ended up being the most normal about him and there's the most unexpected part)#man i really gotta redo lilia's um poster. i wasn't super happy with it to begin with but now there's like. fun shapes and context!#me: ha ha why is his magic called that. that's so weird.#me later: o-oh. oh i see.#SPEAKING OF SEBEK THOUGH there he is! THERE HE IS!#i was so afraid the armor was going to be a bad thing but NO he earned it!#he shook out his hair and turned out to have been beautiful all along!#episode 7 is about two things and two things only: dads and significant hair moments#and also speaking of dads!#i am taking lilia mistaking malleus for revaan based on his voice#as one more tick in the 'if crowley is revaan then there's going to have to be a really good explanation' column#the dulcet tones of dire crowley...#on the other hand if crowley tears off his mask and immediately starts sounding like malleus that would be THE funniest way to do it#auuuggghhhhh it's only been out for hours and already i'm like next part when#we've been cliffhanger'd again lads#idia finally came back to us and they were like 'please wait for the next release :)'#ortho did...did you somehow hack your way into silver's dream palace
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"Well hello there Secret Keeper!" Scar says, chipper. "It's a bea-ut-i-ful day today here on the Secret Life server, and I'm here for my daily hearts for winning! I have to say, it is gorgeous today. Really a lot easier to keep the rain away without other players, what with sleeping through the night not being a problem at all! Did you know, by the way, that sleeping and rain are connected? I didn't until recently, but by golly, they sure are! Can you imagine? The world is full of so many strange things."
The Secret Keeper, being a big dumb stone statue, doesn't reply. Scar's beginning to think it's just rude. It sure replies whenever he hits the button, which is the first step in his morning routine these days. He's gotten better at dodging damage, really, even with the nearly infinite hearts! He's just not so good at dodging skeletons and creepers and such that he shouldn't top off every day.
He hits the button. He feels his health return to him. He gets a new task: Win Secret Life.
He snorts, a little bitter, to himself as he reads it and folds it into his pocket. "You know, I don't know if I'm lucky or unlucky that you're such a moron that you don't know what winning means. Your machine is broken."
No response, again, because the Secret Keeper is, as established, a big old dumb rock. Well, whatever. Besides, if he lingers on resentment and upset for too long, it might catch up with him! He's certainly let it catch up with him before. Why, a few days after he'd won, when he really had it sink in that he was for-real alone on a server covered in lightning burn marks and blood, he had a bit of a breakdown! There was sobbing, screaming, yelling at the world, the whole works! And when no one responded then, well--
"Did I just call you a moron? I'm sorry, I didn't mean that!" Scar says. "You know how I get sometimes. The world is beautiful and warm, but sometimes it gets a little hard to breathe around here! Now, where were we... oh, right! The trading post terraforming project! Now, we hit a bit of a snag the other day, what with the wandering traders I'd caught all sort of--dying--and all that, but luckily, more of them might show up any moment, and they really are vital to making the place feel alive and breathing. So today we're taking a break from that to build up some trees!"
He waves his arms like someone is listening. He'd like to imagine someone is. Grian told him he won--just because all the ghosts are quiet now doesn't mean they aren't there! And if that was a moment of temporary insanity, well, he probably--he needs to think it's not, is the thing! He absolutely needs to think it's not.
He hums and gathers more logs. His makeshift tree farms are pretty nice, if he does say so himself. He pauses as he hears distant howling and sighs. "I guess we will also be spending today cleaning up the wolf population! I swear, I have no idea what those people were thinking making a wolf spawner. A man takes a nap for a day and then the entire server is overrun with stupid white animals! And you know, I do hate having to cull the things, but, well, you know me. I've learned how to kill pretty well, I think, and really, dogs are easier to kill than people."
He grabs a sword from his chest and sharpens it. He keeps it perfectly clean so that there isn't too much blood on it. Good thing, too; most of the blood would probably be his. He's a bit clumsy, after all. He cuts his fingers on it all the time. No matter how well he bandages up his hands, he just keeps making them bleed, drip, drip, dripping blood on every path he walks down. No matter how hard he works to clean up his massive building projects, the little splatters of blood follow him, so he's sticking to dark colors where he can.
The flowers will probably show the blood, he thinks. The flowers and trees he's building. Hopefully, the blood doesn't stand out too much. It feels wrong, in a world where there are no bodies.
He stands up. He heads in the direction of today's pack of unwanted pests. He sighs. "You know, I know your question is, well gosh, Scar! All the previous winners died. When are you going to finish it off and kill yourself? And wow, that's a pretty dark question. You should be ashamed of yourself for asking, really." He laughs. It's not funny. Who cares.
Instead, he shakes his head.
"And, well, you have to understand. I'm not done building yet! I can make my base so much nicer looking! And besides, you're still handing me hearts. If I get hurt, I can just come back and get more from you! If you want to die, you have to kill me yourself. You fucking cowards!"
No response.
He sighs. "Well, that's enough of that for today. Sorry, I'm feeling kind of morose. It's all this sunshine! Can't be good for a man. Did you know populated servers rain more often than unpopulated ones? It's true! It's because people don't sleep enough. But here I am, getting all the sleep I need. Now, time to go kill some dogs and build some trees! I can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon, can you?"
His hands hurt. He ignores it. He ignores a lot of hurt, these days. It's not like it's hard.
#secret life smp#goodtimeswithscar#a bee fic#implied/referenced suicide#implied/referenced self harm#SO UH. HOW ABOUT THAT SCAR NOT DYING IN THE END NONSENSE HUH.#trying to write this all very much in scar's voice was fun. dark premise. goofy guy. result: this.#also i DO love occasionally giving a character who otherwise wouldn't exactly ONE precision swear-word. very fun.
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You know what would be funny?
A DetCo movie with Kaito in it
But KID doesn't appear at all
#like maybe a few moments of ''huh this guy reminds me a lot of KID''#but otherwise kaito doesn't don the suit at all for the entire movie#MAYBE I'll allow baseball-cap-stealth-outfit KID but no more#I just wanna see kaito get into the potentially life threatening shenanigans of a detco movie while not being KID dammit#like idk maybe aoko's with him the whole time or smth so he can't just switch#dcmk#kaito kuroba#kaitou kid#detective conan#magic kaito
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I’m now realizing I could never be in Starfleet. The spoons are too weird
#FORGET that it doesn’t exist that isn’t what we’re doing here today#yeah all those designer Star Trek spoons are very fancy and wrong#big spoon? die. little spoon? yes thank the stars you’re here#TINY SPOONS FOR LIFE#I feel a similar way about the forks#starfleet silverware#BUT I am VERY INTO THE CUPS so maybe we can reprogram the replicator just don’t let captain Jway do it#I probably should’ve realized my neurodivergence sooner huh? smh
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