#but this is genuinely such a rewarding experience
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violant-ink · 13 hours ago
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I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, do I just answer them all? I'll try that! Here's Lyon Hannah aka Phoenix, the Fourteenth Month (pssst this is a secret! In-lore, at least):
🌅- The surface is nice, if you think ignorance is bliss. It rewards those who accept their place in the Chain with a cozy life. I don't look down on those who stay up there, but I could never.
🪪- Me? I'm just a Correspondent. Oh, and an honorary cat.
🔥- This pictogram is fitting.
🪞- Ah. 'Tis a strange place, though useful. I enjoy learning its quirks.
🐍- Need you ask a Lyon this question?
🧍‍♂️- (OOC) okay genuinely I recently made fanworks items of this exact thing! An acquaintance quality, an item unlocked with high quality, and a hallowmas upgrade. ignore the uh. misspellings lmao.
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💀 - The boatman? I've played a few games. Quite a few, in fact.
🏺 - What a strange question? My soul is flawless, if a bit queer. (OOC: Not for long 😉)
⚰️ - Need you ask a Correspondent this question?
👑 - I assure you, I am not treasonous. I have quite a few friends among the royal family.
🃏 - I would rather not.
🎩 - (OOC) oooh this is a tricky one! I actually. Haven't read any ESs. Probably one of the Calendar Council ones.
⚔️ - I prefer not to fight if at all possible. Of course, I always carry my inkpot on me... Always good to be able to "write", in a pinch.
♟️- (OOC) Black, through and through
🎖️ - (OOC) Advancing the Liberation of the Night, though of course she can't say that in public discourse... not as Hannah, at least, a respectable bohemian academic lady. On the scrapbook, however, is Neighborhood Noctivagent 77, it just is such cool text.
🌈 - Always. I love experimenting with light... learning how to strip it of its power, too, perhaps.
🛌 - What's that?
🐀 - Oh! I remember this little ratty fellow who showed me the way around London. I wonder where he went... All in all, I consider myself a friend to all rats.
🎄 - The Feast of the Exceptional Rose (OOC: This is actually my least favourite festival mechanically lmao)
🦑 - As readily as anyone else.
FL OC ASK GAME
🌅 — Do they miss the Surface? What was their life like up there?
🪪 — Have they gone by any other titles? Will they go by different ones in the future?
🔥 — Least favourite Master of the Bazaar?
🪞 — Do they enjoy being in Parabola? Why or why not?
🐍 — Snakes or cats?
🧍‍♂️— What stats would they provide as a companion? Where would you obtain them?
💀 — What's their relationship with the Boatman like?
🏺— What is their soul like? Does it have any Flaws?
⚰️ — What's their most common cause of death?
👑 — Opinions on the Queen? What about other royalty?
🃏 — What would be/will be their name and domain as a Master?
🎩 — What would an Exceptional Story featuring this character be about?
⚔️ — Do they have a particular fighting style/signature weapon?
♟️ — What colour are they on the chessboard? Has it always been that way?
🎖️ — Proudest non-Ambition accomplishment?
🌈 — Do they do anything unique or interesting with Neathy colours?
🛌 — How's their sleep schedule?
🐀 — Are they friends with any rats?
🎄 — What's their favourite festival?
🦑 — Would they kiss a Rubbery Man?
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calciumcryptid · 3 days ago
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Apparently, people liked my demiromantic Vegas and demisexual Pete headcanon making VegasPete a demiromantic for a demisexual couple (which is the best dynamic), so here is a long winded version of what I think that would look like.
First, for those who don't know, demiromantic is an aromantic spectrum term that describes people who do not experience romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection or bond with someone. Demisexual is an asexual spectrum term that describe people who do not experience sexual attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection or bond with someone.
My source for Vegas being demiromantic and Pete being demisexual is me, a demiromantic and demisexual who kept pointed at the screen every-time Vegas and Pete showed up and opened their mouths like that one reaction image.
Without a further ado I present-
DEMIROMANTIC VEGAS
Vegas grows up viewing romantic relationships like high risk high reward business transactions, not realizing there are supposed to be feelings and emotions attached to it.
(Now, I'm not saying that when Vegas got to the arranged marriage section of his historical textbook he agreed with it, but I am definitely saying Tankhun and Kinn were horrified Vegas was vaguely chill with the concept.)
In his defense, he wasn't raised around the healthiest relationships with his mother committing suicide and his aunts gone, so there was no one around to showcase a healthy romantic relationship and maybe clue him into the genuine emotion behind it.
This next part might get controversial, but I believe Vegas' silver tongue is greatly exaggerated. My evidence is the way Porsche and Pete cringe every time Vegas flirts with them. While I have no doubt Vegas is charismatic, I do think his looks and his wealth are doing a lot of heavy lifting.
To get even more controversial, while I know the intention of his love bombing is to showcase he is toxic, I can't help but interpret it a little as him using pattern recognition.
The most glaringly obvious example of this is when Vegas proposes to Tawan, then gets surprised when Tawan thinks it gives him the okay to change Vegas' plans. It is almost like Vegas doesn't realize the deeper emotion and symbolism behind an engagement ring other than it being the next step in a relationship.
Vegas is good at going through the motions without ever making the genuine connections even when there are glaringly genuine connections he can make.
(Hello our favorite frenemies, Vegas and Porsche who definitely developed a genuine friendship post-canon, fuck you, because they had so much they could have bonded over even though I don't believe they would have worked out in a long-term romantic relationship thanks to being fundamentally different people. Now I am sure there is something about demiplatonic in here, but I don't know enough to call that beyond Vegas seeming confused at the idea of simply having a friendship with Porsche without any side sexual benefits.)
The final but of set-up here is the fact Vegas only positive relationship (before Pete, of course) is Macau, but, obviously, Vegas isn't going to view Macau in a romantic light. Even disregarding that last little fact, it is a well-known thing among the aroace spectrums that you latch harder onto platonic and familial bonds when you don't need a romantic bond.
Alright, onto the VegasPete of it all.
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*twirls my phantom hair because my head is shaved* So, there is this section of the narrative that perfectly encapsulates the deminess of the VegasPete relationship because the setting demands they forge an emotional bond and create an emotional connection.
When I am looking at whether a character is demi, I am looking for a clear shift of when their relationship with a character turns from its previous stage to romantic. I affectionately call this a marker, the place that marks the shift.
For example, if you don't mind a little side tangent, there is another Boys Love character I interpret heavily as demiromantic. His name is Q, he is from the GMMTV series We Are, and his marker is a pencil box given to him by his deceased grandfather, an important familial bond in Q's life who passed away prior to the series and it's story.
The reason I know the pencil box is the marker is because Toey, Q's love interest, finds it and that is what kick-starts their relationship and their emotional connection which continues over the course of the series. Including, sticking post-it notes on the back of an art piece Q has created (since art is like Q's thing).
Vegas' thing is torture, so he tortures Pete until his father comes in to slap Vegas around. At the end, Vegas takes Pete with him to the safehouse Vegas has been blacklisted to.
This is the perfect set-up for a demi for demi relationship because isolation is considered the most inhumane thing you can do to a person, and when it is two people in isolation (and a hedgehog, can't forget our strongest soldier Khun Spikes) those two people have to rely on each other to not go mental or more mental.
The impending loneliness can be felt when Vegas realizes he might cause Pete to die and then he would be truly isolated in the safehouse, so Vegas nurses Pete back to health which causes Pete to be so delirious on drugs and pain he reveals VegasPete's marker.
To put it simply, the moment VegasPete's relationship shifts from captive and hostage into prospective love interests is when Pete tells Vegas he is a victim of child abuse at the hand of his own father. The two form their deeper emotional connection over being abuse victims, and their bond deepens when Pete point-blank tells Vegas victory won't make his father stop hitting him because abuse isn't about them it is about the abuser feeling more powerful.
The shift is felt because later you see Vegas bantering with Pete over a book, feeding him multiple times, and, of course, sleeping with him which LEADS US INTO THE SEX SCENE-
Now, this would be better with pictures but I am not in a space where I can acquire those so you are going to have to bear with me.
Say what you want about Be On Cloud, but they understand sex scenes don't have to be pointless smut (outside of the smut book genre) and can serve as a narrative tool. Many people have already made jokes about the most vanilla sex scene being in the actual dungeon, but it isn't a completely vanilla scene because Pete ends up back in the chains and hands Vegas rope. However, the sex scene isn't the actual point of this point it is the build up to it.
After they bury our strongest soldier Khun Spikes, Vegas and Pete are on the dungeon bed where they are having another quiet moment, furthering that emotional bond, but Vegas hasn't realized he has romantic feelings for Pete yet. He knows he has feelings, but he has never felt these types of feelings before so he can't place them. You can see the evolution of this realization with the buildup to the VegasPete sex scene, where Vegas is content with Pete, then freaking out about the feelings, then defaulting to what he knows (sex), then goading Pete into giving him explicit consent.
The moment Vegas realizes what he feels is romantic? Come on, you know it, it is when Pete is holding a knife to his throat while Vegas is pleading with Pete to not leave him. If I remember correctly, Vegas flat out says he needs Pete in a vulnerability never seen before like you can see Vegas' heart being ripped out.
Afterwards, Vegas is a mess. He is moping in the little dungeon he has, staring at rice, and then he is anxious to see Pete again making it his sole demand in his agreement with Porsche. The alleyway scene. The motorcycle escape where he sees Pete coming and retreats rather than fights. The way he took blow after blow from Pete and confessed his love.
Simply put, this is a man's first experience with the severity of romantic feelings.
After all of that, Pete resigns and goes with Vegas and the pure glee Vegas has before the shots ring out and the way he promises to treat Pete well in the hospital is a lot.
Now that I have rambled all about how Vegas is totally demiromantic, here is how I think he figured it out and how that reveal shook a lot of the perceptions about him!
As I said in my previous post, Vegas doesn't learn he is demiromantic until, like, five years post-canon when everyone can be on reasonably good terms and he can be at a get together with the rest of the cast.
(The reason I say this is because for anyone to clock Vegas as demiromantic and inform him about it, Vegas must be delirious enough to let information about himself and his relationship with Pete to slip.)
In this scenario, Vegas is definitely tipsy and more loose lipped and Tankhun and Kinn zero in on it like hawks because free blackmail material on Vegas that isn't the whole coup thing. At first, it is like pulling teeth until they get on the topic of Vegas' relationship with Pete.
What happens is Vegas starts on a very drunken rant about how bullshit romance and love is, but not with Pete because Pete is different. Anyways, romance has caused him nothing but pain and suffering, not Pete though because Pete is different. Anyways, how the fuck did Kinn tolerate Tawan and Porsche enough to want to marry them because there was no reward high enough to match that risk, and why didn't Kinn go after Pete because Pete is different. Anyways, even if there was no reward to being with Pete Vegas would take that high risk again and again because Pete is different.
The more Vegas goes on the clearer it is to everyone Vegas' views on romance goes beyond regular concerning mafia-centric views to more why is this man using business terms to describe romantic relationships?
It ends with Kinn asking if the reason Vegas hasn't put a ring on Pete's finger (despite them probably having Venice at this point, so definitely parents) is because he finds traditionally romantic gestures repulsive to which Vegas, deeply offended, responds.
Vegas: Why would I propose to Pete? I'm not trying to manipulate him.
Pete: ...Thanks?
Porsche, bewildered: What do you mean?
Vegas: I mean, getting to the engagement ring stage was never worth the hassle because people thought it gave them the right to do things I would never permit.
Macau, way too invested and hasn't stopped recording: Hey, Hia, what do you think an engagement ring represents?
Vegas: You know, it is when the transaction is almost permanent but isn't.
Porchay: ...The engagement ring purchase?
Vegas: No, the romantic one.
Tankhun: Romance is not a transaction!
Vegas: Yes it is!
Pete:
Vegas: Except Pete. Pete is different.
Porchay, starting to pull out his phone and make a search: How is Pete different from the others?
Vegas: I feel things.
Kinn: Did you not feel things with Porsche?
Vegas: No.
Kim: Did you not feel things with Tawan?
Vegas: No, was I supposed to?
The worst part about that night is how genuine Vegas sounded about everything. Of course, Vegas wakes up hungover the next day and Pete is suspiciously quiet and looking at him but won't tell Vegas anything besides a lot of things about their relationship makes sense now.
Porchay is the first one to visit Vegas after that night and teams up with Macau to make a presentation about why Vegas might be demiromantic and why that is fine but also he has a lot of reevaluating and (potentially) apologizing to do-
It is a very eye-opening presentation, but what do you mean when Vegas was fucking around with whoever Kinn was romantically into at the time Kinn felt the same way towards that person the way Vegas feels about Pete?
Vegas: I get why you didn't kill Tawan now.
Kinn: Uh-huh.
Vegas: I mean, I couldn't figure out how you could stand him. I still can't figure out how you can stand Porsche, but at least he has redeeming assets. Tawan wasn't even good-looking-
Kinn, blood vein pulsing: Uh-huh.
It takes Kinn and Tankhun a while to rationalize one of the reasons Vegas was like that was because he didn't understand. Unfortunately for Vegas, this means Tankhun has dragged him in for a romance movie marathon since Vegas might finally understand which Pete has no interest in saving him from. Surprisingly, Vegas gets into the romantic dramas genre and becomes Tankhun's new discussion buddy.
With all of the demiromantic reveals, Pete asks if this means him and Vegas can get married since Vegas now knows what engagement ring actually means and symbolizes and Vegas confesses they have been legally married for years he just never told Pete because he didn't want to think he was manipulating him.
Pete: Wait, but if you thought romance was a business transaction why did you get us legally married?
Vegas: I didn't want you to be able to return me.
Pete: ...I am choosing to find that sweet instead of another indicator we need therapy.
DEMIROMANTIC PETE
What? You thought we were done? Ha.
Fortunately, demisexual Pete is less of an essay because Pete's whole deal is he is more comfortable with violence than intimacy. Genuinely, almost every scene he has in KinnPorsche the Series supports this in one way or another such as the iconic scene of him pummeling Vegas before kissing him.
The only way this intersects with canon is Pete is in a different page as Vegas at points throughout the story.
I believe Vegas fell first but Pete fell harder. Since Pete, for this thought experiment, isn't on the aromantic spectrum, this means he is aware of the emotions he feels towards Vegas. To me, he simply denies them for a long time until his breakdown over the noodle bowl. That is the moment I believe everything crashes into him and he realizes he genuinely loves Vegas but knows their situations would prevent that.
Until, you know, the coup and everything.
It is simply the sexual aspect of their relationship Pete is behind on.
Now, I go in-between Pete being a virgin and him having some sexual experience before the safehouse sex scene, but I tend to lean toward him being a virgin because it is funnier.
After all, the idea of asexual spectrum Pete vaguely knowing what he likes from, like, porn, and offering the rope on a silver platter? Delicious. I love it. It is great fun.
Also, it is fun when Pete reveals he lost his virginity to Vegas at the safehouse and everyone has a what the fuck moment.
Mainly, because I believe Pete wouldn't give a shit about the concept of virginity or the importance placed on it. He seems to have bigger fish to fry, but since he is demisexual he never found anyone he was into like that.
Which brings me to the revelation!
This one starts with Porchay who is nervous about his first time with Kim, so he asks the others about their first times (for bonus points make Porchay ask about it at a family dinner). Porsche refuses to answer. Kinn is frustratingly vague. Vegas is frustratingly vague. Eventually, Porchay gets to Pete who dodges around the question for a while until Pete admits his first term was with Vegas in the safehouse. (Bonus points if this is the first time people learn more about what went down in the safehouse).
Initially, Vegas is preening like a peacock because he was his partner's first and he was so good (ignore the chains and bondage and the overall hostage situation) and no one else has ever seen Pete in the throws of pleasure besides him and Pete is his, his, his-
Until Porsche goes blastic because he assumes it was nonconsensual because he saw those wounds, which isn't an unfair assumption to make considering the situation around it was still questionable even though Pete went for it. Tankhun assumes the same thing.
Pete is quick to say it was consensual, which relieves Porchay and Macau though Tankhun and Porsche are definitely throwing Vegas nasty looks across the table. Though, Vegas doesn't really care because he was Pete's first and his dick made Pete change allegiances, so his dick game is clearly superior to Kinn's.
Sorry this was so long, but Demiromantic Vegas and Demisexual Pete, you know?
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the-cookie-of-doom · 8 months ago
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for a while now, I've really been doubting my career choices with nursing. I know a lot of it is burn out and depression, and being so overwhelmed between work, school, and clinical, that I didn't have time to breathe. I was in the hospital/on campus for 60 hours a week last semester, and that's not counting the time I had to study outside of that. It was awful. I quit my job because of it, I was almost involuntarily committed because of it.
But the scariest part for me has been how much I've hated clinical. It makes me miserable. And that's terrifying, because once I graduate? That's what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life. So if I already hate it now, what does that mean for my future?
Sometimes, though... Sometimes I'll have a clinical that is just so good, it reminds me of why I'm doing this. Why I'm putting myself through the pain and suffering of becoming a nurse, which is honestly one of the hardest careers a person can have. It's mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting. It destroys your body and your mental health. Most of the time it's thankless. It doesn't pay nearly enough for what we go through.
Despite all of the reasons there are not to become a nurse, there are some patients that will remind you why it's all worth it anyway.
Last week, I had a crotchety old bitch of a patient. She had been in the hospital for 10 days, was refusing all of her treatments, screamed at anyone that came in her room, and demanded dilaudid around the clock, despite having no injuries to justify it. Everyone hated her. Her own nurses went in her room as little as possible; I think in the entire 12 hours I was there, her nurse spent maybe a total of 20 minutes in her room. I was in there for hours. A couple minutes at a time in the beginning just so she could warm up to me. Then I spent 2 straight hours at her bedside just talking to her. Letting her tell me her life story. Which was tragic, of course, and no wonder she was so run down and bitter and wanted to get high off narcotics. She was miserable, lonely, and in chronic pain from a body that was deteriorating around her.
So I spent as much time with her as possible. Sure enough, she didn't ask me for any pain medications a single time, once she realized she could trust I was going to look after her. I Explained her medications and her treatments, and the reasoning behind them. I offered to reach out to out chaplain when I noticed she was hyper focused on some televangical broadcast. I got her to call her son to come visit her. I got her to agree to take her medications and allow us to take blood sample for her labs, which were days overdue. I got her up and working with physical therapy so she could start walking again.
By the end of the day, that patient loved me. Not a single complaint all day, she wasn't screaming down the halls and cursing everyone's existence. She was still crotchety and mean in that way old hillbillies are, but she wasn't angry. She wasn't lashing out. She was finally being cooperative. All because I took the time to talk to her and offer her company.
Tonight, I had a shift in our mental health unit. There was a patient who I noticed was very withdrawn and avoiding everyone, mostly just standing in a corner at the end of the hall, by a window. I went down and talked to him. Kind of stilted at first, but slowly he opened up to me. I really only meant to talk for a few minutes, mostly for my own sake, to get used to interacting with mental health patients like this.
Instead, we talked for hours. Nearly 3 hours straight at the start of the day alone, and then more throughout the day. My feet were killing me by the end of it, but it was completely worth it to see the way this poor guy came to life. We talked about everything from social topics like music and movies, to his medications and treatments, and how to manage his depression once he leaves. Something I was able to connect with him about on a personal level in a way his nurse hadn't, because I've been living with depression for a decade, I've been on antidepressants, and I understand. I think that was the point it clicked for him, when he really started reaching out to me, instead of answering when I prompted him. Because humans need connection and understanding.
By the end of the day he was talking freely and smiling nearly non-stop. We'd made plans for him to get back into an old hobby he hadn't touched in years, and he seemed genuinely excited to start it back up again. He was nearly bouncing in place when I went to say goodbye to him at the end of the night, and thanked me for talking to him all day. Even the staff nurses noticed the way his demeanor had completely changed.
Another patient (my actual patient for the night) started the day very combative. To the point she had to be redirected to her room (not locked up, just strongly encouraged to go and cool down). She was screaming at everyone, having some very serious and severe delusions. Same story; I talked to her throughout the day, little bits whenever she was feeling calm. I noticed she had a tattoo from an old semi-niche XBox game I used to play, and we bonded over that. By the end of the shift she loved me. Kept asking me if I'd gotten lunch/dinner, made sure all the other patients on the unit got their snacks, told us all to get some rest once it was curfew for the unit (we had to stay another 2 hours) and said we could use the spare bed in her room if we needed. Which sounds really weird but coming from her was incredibly sweet. Again, total attitude change.
I am very cognizant of the fact that the way I approach my patient care is largely a privilege of still being a student. It's easy for me to stand at a patient's bedside for 2 hours straight and listen to her life story when I have nothing better to do, let alone 3 other patients to take care of. But that nurse didn't talk to her at all. Even when she was in the room, she dismissed everything the patient said. The mental health nurses? Most of their time is spent in the nursing station gossiping and messing on their phones. There's no reason for them not to put in the extra effort of spending time with their patients. And especially there, it can have such an impact.
All of that is to say, I love the relationships I'm able to build with my patients. It's so important for me to be able to connect with people like this, to make them feel seen and cared for and important. No one wants to be treated like an inconvenience, especially not while they're in the hospital, sick and hurt and exhausted and in pain.
Nights like these are why I'm going into this field. I love medicine and I always knew I would end up in the hospital, I've always wanted to be able to save someone's life. But I think now that I've grown up and I'm actually working with these patients, I've come to see not only how rewarding it is to save someone's life, but to nurture that life, too.
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creepyscritches · 7 months ago
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Since I stopped regularly posting my art online it's nuts the psyche reset my art brain went through. Ego death of whatever deviantart mentality. I'm back to drawing w markers bc it's fun, baby. Making my weird little things and breaking crafts bc it's not always an unusable result lol. Waiting to get back to my 12yr old mary sue generator brain, it's the next step to making more things I enjoy making
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alienheartattack · 2 days ago
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Welp, back to scrolling Tumblr because other white people set my country on fire again.
I am probably going to be okay. I was okay the last time this asshole was in office thanks to my luck and privilege and the fact that I live in an extremely liberal part of the country. But my heart hurts and I am so scared for those who will be chewed up and spat out by the fascist machine, even the people who were duped into voting for this demented, amoral, corrupt piece of shit.
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kickedin17 · 5 months ago
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This feels obvious but maybe it's not so. The silence in Paladin Strait is. The strait. That's the crossing. He can't sing because he's schwimming. Right
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fourswords · 1 year ago
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zelda and shadow in the fsa manga drive me ridiculously insane actually. the panel where shadow is kneeling on the floor and zelda is standing there looking down at him and they're SEEING each other is enough to give me fucking RABIES. LOOK AT THIS
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#IT'S ABOUT HOW THEY GO FROM ANTAGONIZING EACH OTHER AT THE BEGINNING TO ACTUALLY TRULY GENUINELY SEEING EACH OTHER AT THE END!!!!#HOW ZELDA GOES FROM 'You're no shadow! More like a faint and twisted echo! Even at his WORST Link would never be as crude and rude as you!'#TO 'Do you really think the light will hurt you? Don't you see? You are a Link‚ too. Deep inside‚ you're really a hero.'#AND HOW SHADOW GOES FROM 'Curse you... ...Princess Zelda!'#and. all the other things#TO BRAVING THE WORLD OF LIGHT AGAIN EVEN THOUGH HE'S WEAKENED AND PAINED AND TERRIFIED OF THE LIGHT#BECAUSE SHE WAS THE FIRST PERSON WHO EVER SPOKE A KIND WORD TO HIM AND MEANT IT. NO STRINGS ATTACHED. NO REWARD. JUST KIND.#EVEN WHEN SHE HAD ALL THE REASON NOT TO BE.#SO HE TAKES VIO'S FORM AND TELLS THE OTHER LINKS WHAT'S GOING ON (AND EXPERIENCES REAL CONCERN AND WORRY FROM THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER#WHICH IS A WHOLE OTHER FUCKING POST) AND SHATTERS THE FUCKING MIRROR. SHATTERS HIS WHOLE LIFE.#BECAUSE SHE BELIEVED IN HIS ABILITY TO BE A HERO. BECAUSE SHE WAS KIND TO HIM. BECAUSE SHE SAW HIM. BECAUSE SHE *REALLY* SAW HIM.#BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SAVE HER. TO LIVE UP TO THAT KINDNESS. TO BE THE HERO SHE SAW IN HIM. LIKE!!!!!!!!!#i will lose my mind over it. i will genuinely lose my mind.#she looked at him as pathetic and weak and broken as he was and saw her friend in him. and she was kind. and so he sacrificed himself.#because someone was kind to him and meant it. head in my FUCKING hands.#sorry it's going insane about the four swords adventures manga again hours. but when is it not honestly#fsa#txt
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picaroroboto · 9 months ago
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All this Shadowbringers discussion in my notes has got me thinking about FF14's specific brand of optimism. I'm probably never going to be able to put my finger on exactly how they pulled it off, but even in this story where the lines between Light/Dark & Hero/Villain are blurred, they manage to make playing the hero and fighting for life and hope immensely fun, appealing, interesting, meaningful, etc. Let me see if I can explain:
For starters, I'm personally a bit of an edgelord at heart. I generally prefer darker fantasy, and roll my eyes at stories that lean too hard into the stereotypical Good vs Evil thing. But the first thing that appealed to me about FF14 when I started playing is how well it balanced itself - even as far back as ARR, it's realistic in it's darker aspects yet unfalteringly optimistic.
Come Heavensward, the story takes a more serious turn that I really fell in love with. The Scions and the WoL suffer betrayal and loss, their resolve is shaken, and it's reinforced at every opportunity that their path of fighting to make the world a better place is never simple and easy. You're shown that you're never going to be able to save everything, but your successes in rescuing Estinien and affecting positive change in Ishgard prove that it's still worth it to try.
In Stormblood, when you're trying to inspire and recruit people to your cause of revolution, what you find time and time again is that while the people of Doma and Ala Mhigo hate the way they're being treated and want to rebel, they're also too worn down from daily oppression to do anything about it. When you're struggling to argue against their apathy, you start to get fired up yourself and genuinely want to inspire them. In StB, hope and freedom go hand in hand with rebuilding communities, and with the firey rebellious spirit that characterizes the expac.
Shadowbringers may flip the aesthetic of light and dark upside down, but even though you're the Warrior of Darkness now you're still as much of a hero as always. The status quo of the First is Light, stagnation, and death, and you challenge it with Darkness, energy, and life. Even when you learn the truth about the Ascian's ambitions, you're still committed to fighting for your own world, as "broken" as it is, because FF14's worldbuilding makes a vibrant, interesting world that genuinely feels worth the effort to save.
Really, it all comes down to how realistically the struggle of fighting to save the world is written, versus how rewarding it feels when things do work out.
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btsbs · 10 months ago
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rottenlittlefink · 3 months ago
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Socializing with neurotypicals is like trying to cut the right color chord but you’re colorblind. And you’re also a fucking horse. And no matter which wire you cut, the bomb will still explode.
Edit cus I published this post too early: Possibly triggering rant in tags oops lol it’s my personal blog ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#bleats#actually audhd#personal experiences#MGM experiences#not a flex btw#decentering men#centering myself#shouting into the void#‘reward eye contact with a smile!’ no. Absolutely not.#’there’s lots of hidden meaning in your body language AND even in what you say no matter how well articulated!’#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#I don’t have a lot of irl friends and I’m so glad 😭#it’s even worse when you’re a ‘triple threat’ and won’t respond to humbling tactics from jealous dusties 🙄#tfw I wont tolerate anyone projecting their internalized racism onto me#your inferiority complex isn’t my problem man#it’s just rly disheartening especially when u only have good intentions??#male centered women are genuinely fucking terrifying#imagine feeling genuinely threatened by my existence#but also being unhealthily obsessed with me???#I’m not fighting over ANYONE especially not a man. you’re in this competition by yourself.#I literally never chase or pursue nor do I care to do like… you’re in this by yourself lmao#but anyways#side note ->#im reclaiming the word ‘Exotical’ 🙄#‘reclaim’ the N word (🙄) and nobody bats an eye…#but the SECOND a mixed person reclaims the word ‘Exotical’ then all hell breaks loose :3#how tf is that ANY worse than the N word#not to mention fake outrage from white liberals with white savior complexes thinking they have any right to speak for me?????#it’s genuinely fucking annoying how race obsessed most other black ppl are man#like I don’t have to tolerate u projecting your self hate onto me???
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roobylavender · 11 months ago
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although i have a lot of hard feelings about romance novels and often come out of them 9/10 times with hatred and embarrassment laced into my heart i do think most people can agree that romance novels at large have developed in response to the control over people's sexual lives and how that's subsequently led to a desperate desire from the sexually repressed to be equal participants in a sexual environment. it's not so much that women want to be in relationships with dominant men to whom they play housewife or baby incubator or worse. it's that women want to be in relationships at all. and because the standard for relationships at large is the nuclear family, this is what subsequently shows up in your literature. why do you think religious women in particular are such a huge audience for romance novels despite the often conservative environment they grow up in? it's bc the consumption of romance novels does not exist in spite of that conservatism but bc of it. to be gatekept from any expression of sexual desire until you marry or until you fornicate for the purposes of having a child is to breed in young women a desire for what we would now no longer consider practices entailing any self-respect. you're kept in an ideological cage all of your life, naturally you reach for what's immediately out of reach rather than consider that there could be more out there that is available to you. it sucks! it's sad, it's horrific, it makes me wanna cry. but i can also never quite blame women for it bc they're not the ones who've created this environment of sexual conservatism (ie the real puritan culture, the one that hypersexualizes virgins by obsessively protecting their chastity prior to marriage bc said chastity can only ever belong to one man). man has. religion has. patriarchy has. why would i focus my hatred on women who are merely coping with the status quo rather than the systems in place that we actually have to change to allow for more sexual freedom and agency?
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wychelm · 1 year ago
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if there were just ONE word or concept I could communicate to animals it would be gift. I usually refill the birdbath twice a day and when the blackbirds come to bathe they watch me so warily. but I did it for you... it's a gift. exhausted bee my dear friend that spoon of sugar water is a gift and you don't have to be afraid. snails stuck in the watering can because his shell was too big to fit through the nozzle I'm going to get you out of there brother even though I'm sure being pushed back the way you came seems like some deep callous evil on my part. but I promise it's a gift. I don't even mind if you eat all my plants. I don't even mind if a bird eats YOU. as long as the suffering is minimal and the death contributes to life instead of being wasted. what else is there
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eponychium · 28 days ago
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reading between two fires finally and seeing the descriptions about how people at the markets keep distant and the Florentine merchants have marked out barriers + wear masks + only show merchandise extended out on long poles and going "oh I wonder if this was a 2021 book" and no it's from 2012
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blossoms-phan · 1 month ago
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Hiya,
How are you doing? ☺️
I had a really tough therapy session but i had hugs with my best friend after and we sat outside doing some colouring and watched dnp videos 💕
hiiii im doing good ty for asking! 💞 that is so wholesome im so glad you had your best friend there to support you and colouring is one of my fave activities it’s so healing, plus watching dnp of course 🥹 sending you good vibes 〰️
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colorfulnickellandgarden · 11 months ago
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i am once again asking you to play the system shock remake
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moonlitlex · 1 year ago
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deleting my long post to rephrase it to this: some of yalls reactions to the club thing is immediately shut down something you've never experienced and have a lot of misconceptions about (like i've seen multiple people say they've never been to the club because they don't do fun things like have themes). and i think. you should be more open to new experiences. you don't have to like the club or even really go to the club but shutting down the idea of doing a whole category of activity without ever trying it is just going to shut you off from experiencing new and potentially enjoyable things.
and this also happens like. pretty much every time a "you should do this thing that i think is fun" post starts making the rounds it becomes about how it's soooooo unreasonable to expect the mostly adult userbase of this website to try new things and be open to new experiences just because people on here have social anxiety or sensory issues or xyz other thing that makes it harder to do some things.
but they also have this extremely strong aversion to experiencing anything unpleasant at all. like i've seen people on that post talk about how they can't watch tv where characters die because it's upsetting. but the thing is if you never experience things that are unpleasant you are going to be that same person forever.
like it fucking sucks to hear for me to this day but the only way you can get over your social anxiety is by doing things that cause that anxiety. and you should never be forced to do them. you should choose to. but you have to do them or the anxiety will literally just get worse forever. do it scared. do it alone. do it while crying, even. but do it. i used to burst into tears at the idea of going up to a cashier to pay for my stuff. and i don't anymore because i did it scared and alone and while feeling like i was going to pass out.
this isn't really about the club. it's about the way people on here react to literally any post that says something along the lines of "you should do stuff"
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