hi :D if you do character x character (with possibly x reader, too) headcanons, may i request nikprice hcs? aghh.. i love them so much, but there's (in my opinion) little content of them compared to other ships.. if you do have to add reader into it too thats okay :) i don't mind poly (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
but besides that how are you doing? i hope youre doing good :]
Hey there! I'm doing well, thank you! I've actually got five days off next week, which I'm really looking forward to! Plus I get to go to my regular department again too soon enough! But unfortunately, the other apprentice left me with so much work ^^;
NikPrice and NikPrice x Reader
NikPrice:
Although the two of them may be a bit older than some of their peers, they can still be considered idiots, especially when they’re with one another. Sometimes they get weirdly competitive with each other, which can result in either of them getting hurt. Nikolai leads Chimera and Price leads the TF141, both of them sometimes need to show off just how good they are at some things. Nikolai is usually a pretty calm guy, but he does get a bit cocky with Price, so he’ll instigate some competitions. Who can carry the most groceries. Who can find the most dogs and take pictures with them. Who will be favored the most for the week among their boys. It’s just dumb things, and Nikolai does try to cheat his way through most of them, but Price knows him well enough by now to know how he will try to weasel his way into victory. Price usually plays fair and forces Nikolai to do the same. The winner gets bragging rights and that’s about it. Sometimes they poker on who pays for dinner, but they don’t really mess around too much when it comes to more serious stuff. However, they both also compete with each other to show off just how good of a partner they are, even if there’s no need to do that anymore. They can both be proud as peacocks and always need to outdo one another.
Although it may sound stupid, the two of them do spar with each other from time to time. Since they’re about equal in strength it’s actually quite interesting to watch the two of them fight, both have a pretty good technique as well. However, Nikolai has more experience under his belt since he’s quite a bit older than Price. Again, he’s also not above cheating by trying to entice Price with just about anything he can think of. They’re adults, they’re leaders, but they are still morons with each other. Sometimes they fight over the TV remote when Price wants to watch his football game and Nikolai wants to tease him. Price gets mad every time he misses the football game just because he lost to his stupid lover. Nikolai gets a good laugh out of it every time. Although he may love Price more than anyone else, he can be a playful and cocky bastard at times. He makes up for it by taking Price to a real football game in a stadium, though. Can’t enrage the boyfriend too much all the time. Price is usually overjoyed when he does since he gets really into it. There’s nothing better than enjoying some football with Nikolai. Unless Nikolai teases Price about his team losing. In that case the two of them won’t be talking more than necessary for an hour. However, Price goes back to normal after the initial anger of his team losing has worn off.
Nikolai is actually a chef of the master class. He can cook just about anything and make it well at that too. Since he’s been pretty much everywhere at this point he’s learned quite a few recipes from all around the world. He also knows how to use his spices well. Though, his favorite recipes to make are still Russian ones. The two of them cook together often, it relaxes them. Besides, Price gets the privilege of eating Nikolai’s pirozhki before anyone else does. It’s an honor to him since he’s never had anything better in his life. Loves being Nikolai’s taste tester as well. Price isn’t as good a cook as Nikolai, but he does like showing his appreciation for all the good food by cooking something in return. However, his food is kind of bland. It could be worse, but it could also use a lot more spices. Nikolai used to tease Price about that before, but he’s stopped since as Price really does put a lot of effort into cooking for Nikolai. The latter really isn’t so mean to genuinely hurt his boyfriend like that. He does give Price some constructive criticism, though. Offers to help with cooking next time, but both of them know that Nikolai will just take the lead. But in the end, they both really do enjoy cooking with each other, regardless of who makes the main dish. They also get really chatty during it.
NikPrice x Reader
Considering how long they’ve been with each other, they've gotten used to it, but you genuinely cannot cuddle them during summer. You’ll become a sweaty mess and won’t be able to sleep at all since they’re both very warm. Nikolai more so than Price. However, the two of them can cuddle each other just fine since they’re used to warmer nights because of all the missions they’ve gone on. However, it’s pretty nice in winter. They’re two big, burly and warm men who love to make you feel toasty. Price is actually a pretty cuddly guy and Nikolai can be too with the right people. If you’re not on the cuddly side then they’ll settle for giving you a pat on the back every once in a while or just holding your hand. But Price loves touching you and Nikolai. He doesn’t need to do it every single waking moment, but it’s nice to hold your loved ones. Nikolai can go either way, but he’s pretty cuddly with Price. Sometimes the two of them fight over who gets to be the big spoon, other times they’ll just plop into each other’s arms. If you’re shorter than them then you’ll likely get sandwiched between them. If you’re as tall or taller than them then they might ask you to take on the role of big spoon. Sure, they won’t mind it when you’re shorter than them, but they’ll chuckle since you’re just a little backpack.
Both of them will try to teach you how to fight and defend yourself. Even if you’re capable of that already, they’ll teach you something anyway. They’re both military men, they know what they’re talking about. Besides, it’s not as unlikely as one might think that you might get hurt because of them. You need to be able to defend yourself. They’ll take turns teaching you, improving your form and all. They’ll sometimes even deliberately spar in front of you so you could learn something from them fighting with each other. They won’t be as rough with you as they are with each other, especially not if you’re not part of the military, but they’ll be diligent in teaching you either way. If you’re part of the military then they’ll be rougher with you, but not as rough as with each other. Nikolai and Price have known each other for so long, they know where each other’s limits are. You’re the newest addition, so there’s still things they need to get to know. But I can assure you they will take good care of you. They’ll also reward you if you’re doing especially well during your little training lessons. Nikolai tries to bribe you into doing well by offering to cook your favorite meal if you do so.
The two of them actually spoil you rotten, especially if you don’t earn as much money as they do. Nikolai earns even more money than Price, so he has quite a lot to spend. Loves buying you and him all kinds of things. These can range from something useful to just something he saw and thought you might like. Price doesn’t like being indebted to people, so he always tries to buy Nikolai something back, even insisting that he shouldn’t buy him as many things. Nikolai never listens to him in that regard. And since Price buys Nikolai things he has to buy something for you as well. Sometimes it’s just your favorite kind of cake, sometimes it’s some nice and expensive jewelry. It’s always a mystery with Price. You don’t have to feel obligated to buy them something either. You’re more than welcome to if you have the finances to do so, but if you usually barely get by then you really shouldn’t have to. In fact, if you don’t have a lot of money then the two of them will pay for just about anything you need. Clothes, food, other necessities. It doesn’t matter. Together they have more money than they know what to do with anyway. It’s nice to spend it on someone you love and make them happy anyway. Don’t pay them back, they’ll find your bank account and return the money. They love you, let them pamper you like the little royalty you are.
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>open Twitter
>open DMs to send a message to a buddy I haven't spoken to in a while
>there's a shitton of messages that I never got notifications for that I just straight-up missed over the course of A YEAR
>goddamn it Twitter
>this is all Elon Musk's fault
>anyway
>one of them is from the Project Umbrella guys
>remember the big stupid bitchfight I got into with them last year
>oh Jesus what the fuck did they want back then that I missed
>open DM
>HE'S DEFENDING THE RE ARCHIVES
>NO FUCKING WAY LOL
THAT'S NOT WHAT THE RE ARCHIVES SAYS
THIS IS WHAT THE RE ARCHIVES SAYS:
And that's NOT what happens in Leon's RE3 epilogue. THIS is Leon's RE3 epilogue:
Oh but wait!
There's more!
This guy then tries to go on to defend the "Adam Benford kidnapped Leon" argument. Let's see how well his argument holds up.
So let's check his facts. Let's do a search for Jun Takeuchi.
Interesting. So Takeuchi became an executive around 2017. RE6 came out in 2012. So Takeuchi wasn't an executive at the time RE6 was written or released.
In fact
looking at this
Takeuchi didn't work on Resident Evil 6 at all. So... if he didn't work on RE6, then that would make anything he writes about it... fanfiction... wouldn't it? Otherwise, what gives him word of god for RE6's story? The fact that he was employed at the company at the time? Does this mean that any random environmental artist has word of god over the story? Do the Monster Hunter guys have word of god over RE6, too?
And what about Tsukasa Takenaka? Well, he's not even a big enough name to have a Wikipedia page to begin with. In fact, looking him up, it seems like he had a minor hand in writing RE5, produced Revelations 1, and worked on RE: The Mercenaries 3D.
yikes.
Okay, well what about this dude's other claims?
Adam Benford was director of the CIA in 2002 (according ONLY TO that airsoft ad written by the guy who did not work on RE6; this is NOT stated in RE6 itself), and his position in 1998 is unknown -- implying that he was not actually the director of the CIA in 1998. But Leon was kidnapped in 1998 by the CIA. So if he wasn't the director... then I guess he wasn't behind the kidnapping, was he?
Our friend from Project Umbrella then goes on to make a bunch of other claims right in a row, so let's go down them one by one.
>"Leon and Adam working together for a decade is only an approximation" Okay, but if you're approximating, the number would be closer to 15, not 10. Benford died in 2011. 2011 - 1998 = 13. So the rounded number would be 15.
>it's okay if RE6 gets the date wrong because supplementary material gets it wrong
>implying that the game does not have more people working on it to ensure accuracy than random supplemental material. You're telling me that no one on the team of hundreds that worked on this game remembered that Raccoon City happened in 1998?
>RE6 is off by a year re: Chris killing Wesker
Is that true?
No, actually. That's not true at all. RE6 says it happened in 2009. And, wouldn't you know it. RE5 takes place in 2009.
So, what do you think, Mr. Project Umbrella?
Is that enough research that I've done for you?
Maybe the next time you want to go into a woman's DMs to mansplain at her and call her hysterical, you might want to get your fucking facts right first, you self-important misogynistic piece of human fucking garbage.
So.
In conclusion.
DO NOT LISTEN TO THE FUCKERS WHO CONTROL THE WIKI
THEY JUST FUCKING GO ON THE INTERNET AND TELL LIES
and talk down to women, apparently
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Anticipation
@wolfstarmicrofic
A continuation for @stars-a-n-d-scars
Part 1 (ignorance)
Part 2 (duck)
There is no way this plan can go wrong. It was concocted by the ingenious James F. Potter himself, and James F. Potter does not fail, as a general rule.
"All we have to do, Wormy, is come up with a list of things that gay blokes like, and see if Remus likes those things too!"
Peter's eyes become as round as Galleons. "That's genius, Prongs!"
James is aware.
"Okay, so what goes on the list then?" Peter asks eagerly.
Well, alright, he's not thought that far.
"Hell, I dunno, Peter. How did we know with Sirius?"
"You mean besides the fact that he follows Remus around like a...well, like a puppy dog?"
"No, you're right, Sirius was too easy," James agrees grimly. Then he sighs. "Well, s'not like I'm some authority on queer culture; I've never fancied a bloke before!"
"...Not once?" Peter says slyly.
James tenses.
"...And just what are you implying?"
"That I know that you've given Regulus Black's bare arse a good peek in the lockers--"
"I WAS NOT CHECKING HIM OUT, YOU CRETIN! I WAS TRYING TO SEE IF HE HAS THE SAME BIRTHMARK AS SIRIUS!!--"
"--Okay, not helping your case even a little--"
"--AND I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE, YOU BASTARD!!"
-----------------
The following morning, they decide to wing it. Winging things has worked out well for them in the past, and the timing could not be better, as Madame Pomfrey has decided to keep Sirius in the Hospital Wing until she rules out a few magical maladies (although, not once has she let James skive off after being lovesick over Lily, which is a genuine illness). It's not often that they can get Remus alone without Sirius attached like a limpet.
"Watch this," Peter hisses, holding a peach in one hand and a banana in the other. "Gay blokes love bananas."
"By Merlin, Peter, I'm beginning to suspect there's a genius hidden under all of that blue-eyed naivety."
Peter makes a pleased expression before turning to Remus at the breakfast table. "Oi, Moony, I've grabbed two fruit, one for you, one for me. Which one would you like?"
Remus barely looks up from his book before selecting the banana with a muttered "thanks".
James and Peter share a look of unbridled glee, then turn to stare at Remus as he chomps away at the benign yellow fruit. His amber eyes finally drift up to meet their combined intense gaze, and he swallows, looking uncomfortable.
"Are you two alright?...You're sort of being… really weird, right now."
James breathes out a bit shakily. "You really like bananas, don't you, Moony," he says unblinkingly.
"Erm...No, not really. Actually hate 'em,” Remus scowls, clearly disturbed by their laser-focused attention.
"What!? Why did you pick it over the peach, then, why?!" cries Peter melodramatically and clawing the air with his hands.
"Because!" Remus yells back, brows furrowing with increasing bewilderment, "Pomfrey wants me to try to get more potassium in! Says it might help with the cramps around the full!"
He looks between James' and Peter's inexplicably devastated expressions, and scoffs, picking up his tray and leaving to go sit with Lily Evans and Mary Macdonald.
"Fuck," James moans.
-----------------
"Okay, okay, this is a sure thing," James mutters at rapid-fire. "Gay blokes love ABBA."
"Brilliant," Peter nods, face open and trusting.
"Quick! I hear him coming!"
As Remus enters the dormitory to exchange his Arithmancy book for Ancient Runes, his eardrums are viciously assaulted with the bouncy strains of "Dancing Queen", blasting from their record player with enough magically-enhanced volume to rattle the window pane.
OOH, YOU CAN DANCE!
"WHAT THE FUCK, GUYS!"
YOU CAN JIVE!
"ISN'T IT WONDERFUL!" screams James.
HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE!
"IT MAKES ME FEEL MY DEEP INSIDE FEELINGS ON THE OUTSIDE!" howls Peter.
OOOH, SEE THAT GIRL--
Remus casts a wordless spell that goes off with a bang, bringing the record player to a tenth of the volume.
"I fucking hate disco," he growls, storming out of the dorm and slamming the door on his way out.
Peter sighs. "Prongs, maybe he just isn't bent? Wouldn't that be such a shame for poor old--"
"PETE! P-Pete, mate, your foot!"
Peter looks down at his traitorous foot, tapping along—completely of its own accord—to ABBA. "Fuck!" he wails. "It's too catchy!"
-----------------
They have one last idea, but neither of them is enthusiastic about it.
"It's got to be you, Prongs," Peter whimpers panickily, "I haven't got the pectorals!"
And Peter, unfortunately, has never been so right.
But what if Remus falls in love with me instead? He's bound to! Doesn't that defeat the entire purpose? Poor Padfoot, he'd be so devastated.
"Don't think about the ramifications just now," Peter interrupts his internal monologue, snapping his fingers in front of his friend's gold-rimmed spectacles. "We've got no choice, Jamie. At this point, it's embarrassing we haven't been able to figure out this very basic thing about our best mate."
James nods reluctantly.
Into the breach.
That late afternoon finds James, alone in the dorm, exiting a gratuitously steamy shower once he hears that snick of the dormitory door shutting, signaling that Remus has returned from Charms Club.
Took the wanker long enough, I'm all pruney now.
"Oh, Reeemuuus!" James calls in a purr, very loosely wrapping a towel around his hips. "Could you come here a second?"
The door opens tentatively.
"Christ, Prongs, it's like a rainforest in here. How long did you shower for?" Remus accuses, his unruly tawny curls already protesting against the humidity. "And why are you showering in the middle of the day?"
James waits until Remus finally makes eye contact with him to take a few slow, deliberate steps closer, looking up at Remus (damn, but the boy just keeps shooting up) from under his dark lashes.
"And...when do you like to take long showers, Remus?" he murmurs.
"Eh? I dunno, sometimes I like to take a hot bath or two after the full." Remus' brows furrow in concern. "You feeling alright, Prongs? Maybe you've got whatever Padfoot has. Where is Padfoot, anyway?"
James steps ever closer. He could touch Remus. He's about to touch Remus. HIs mouth goes oddly dry with anticipation.
"Don't worry about Sirius. Worry about me for a second," he whispers.
Remus' intense golden eyes finally break their gaze as they subtly flick up and down James' body.
"Oh, is that why you called me in here?"
Gotcha, you lovely, queer bastard.
"Why, yes, Remus, I'm dying for you to--"
An exasperated sigh and eyeroll interrupt what would have been a surefire seduction.
"As I've told you nigh on a hundred times, Prongs, wizards don't get skin cancer. That mole on your lower back looks perfectly normal, as I've already said, and I'm not going to look at it again!"
James can only gape at Remus.
He tuts. "I don't have time for this; you're literally fine. I'm going to see if Pads is still in the Hospital Wing."
Remus exits in a whirl, leaving James reeling in the bathroom--wet, humiliated, and, if he's being completely honest with himself, just the tiniest bit aroused.
-----------------
"James! James!" Peter bursts into the dormitory with Sirius in tow, moments after James has gotten clothes back on. "Padfoot's out of the Hospital Wing and I've informed him of our mission!"
"Right, mate," Sirius follows breathlessly. "You lot are trying to figure out if Moony's gay, then?"
James moans and put his head in his hands. He feels this close to unraveling. "We've been trying to figure it out all day!"
"Really?? What have you tried?" prompts Sirius eagerly.
"POTASSIUM!" shouts James incoherently.
"Erm--"
"Disco, too, louder than eruption of Krakatoa," interjects Peter mournfully.
"Great--" James suppresses a sob--"Great, rock hard pectorals. Prize-winning pectorals. Boy's unflappable. I have no idea."
Sirius purses his lips, clearly between seeking clarification on the gibberish they've spouted and slapping them both silly. Fortunately for all involved parties, he does neither.
"Lads. Here's an idea. Why don't we just ask him?"
-----------------
Thanks to those of you that have stuck around! <3
Part 4: Thirst
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