#but they're just such an epic duo

[bottom55cs]

I still find it insane that we actually got a versainz podium on the first race of the season. Feels like a fever dream to be honest

[bitchslapblastoids]

i know we're all Quite Aware of this all, but i was rewatching the dan and phil react to phan twitter video and i was suddenly bowled over by the moment when they see the 'watch your step bbgirl' meme and dan goes 'pull up pinof1 i want to see how messy it is'

because then there they are, these men in their mid thirties, in the house they built together, on camera in front of the audience they've grown together, looking at this video of their cherub-cheeked selves from fifteen years ago the first time they met, just so they can remind themselves of what phil's room looked like when they 1. were romantically together for the first time and 2. 'professionally' (even if they didn't have a clue that it was going to become a cataclysmic career move) together filming a video for youtube for the first time.

it is just so insane that this video exists from their first meeting, and that that video has become this foundational cornerstone of their entire careers and their whole public identities. their life's work is inextricably linked to this time capsule of their initial chemistry and love and giddiness and youth and those first couple of days together literally getting to know/falling in love with their soulmate, but it simultaneously being a video that documents the first page in a still-in-progress epic story of them, as a duo, making online content with one another because their chemistry is so profound, building a community largely through their audience's attachment to who they are specifically when they're with one another, of engaging directly with their audience as much as possible (pinof1 being an audience-generated q&a), of cat whiskers becoming a symbol of this niche in-group, of "the most fun i've ever had" becoming a resounding phrase throughout their careers. and just the simple fact of it being their first video together. and they're still here. making videos together. in their 15+ yr long career. but it's also their first time together. and they're still here. spending their lives together in their 15+ yr long ranch metaphor.

it's just wild. you couldn't make this shit up. they are such a unique encapsulation of the digital era and maintaining highly successful careers online and building community and also of deep enduring love. there's the duality of those being two totally different things (careers vs. personal relationship) but also being completely intertwined with one another, and all of the complexities of that coexist in this first ever video!

[milkamel]

! Underverse 0.8 pt 1 SPOILERS !

Okay so I can't keep it inside I need to rant about it and I did want to express more of my thoughts and emotions on my blog so here I go jkfjbk

THIS WAS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS, THE WHIPLASH- CHARA BAHAHA- He's kinda right??

They could never make me hate you Papyrus.. HE'S THE BEST CHARACTER FR

And omg X!Toriel.. She's so elegant and sweet-looking but she's also so intimidating, I LOVED HER AND UT!TORIEL'S CONFRONTATION- WOAHG

AND I'M SO INSANE ABOUT THIS MOMENT- ONCE HE CALLED CROSS 'SANS' I HAD A FEELING HE'D REACT LIKE THAT AND WHEN HE DID IT WAS JUST… YES. YESSSS. (I think we all had a thought about a certain hc too LOL)

Also Cross' old outfit… I JUST ADORE HIS BANDANA <33 (Swap vibes Swap vibes!! EHEHE)

And their duo was something I didn't know I needed?? (Cross' reaction is priceless LOL)

ALPHYNE MADE ME SCREAM TOO JUST.. LOOK AT THESE GIRLS THEY'RE PRECIOUS NO MATTER THE AU

It was so nice to see Ink finally angry and determined to deal with this mess. Though ouch the betrayal hurt

AND TORI AND FRISK :(( WHY- That was absolutely epic gonna rewatch everything 100 times

Ahem thank you for hearing me out,, I wanted to get that out of my system <3 This episode is just spectacular, and every frame is gorgeous-looking, just wow

[ivys-garden]

Hivy, I'm Ivy, and it's time for..

Life Series Alliance Analysis Session Recap:

Scars Snail cam is the best thing to happen this season.

Yes, another week means another session of Wild Life and damn did this one live up to the name. This session's Wild Card was the Infamous immortal snail, an idea originating from a meme that asked if you would press a button to get one million dollars if it meant an unkillable Snail would Chase you and if it ever touched you, you'd die.

This session's snails were far more dangerous though, resulting in far more carnage and downright Junji Ito-Esk descriptions of the incredibly ominous snails. On session 3 there are already 3 reds on the server and, had Grian not called end of session early, we would have had a first player out. So much happened and yet no progress was made, let's see what the teams were up to.

Also, 34 DEATHS WHAT THE FU

The Fast And The Furious (Gem & Joel)

I'm not calling them the family. That name is already taken. And is also lame.

The dynamic duo start the session by immediately forgetting they're supposed to be trying to shake their Villainous reputation by vowing to convince everyone to kill Pearl & Impulse, an incredibly stupid plot for many reasons:

1.Everyone they convince sucks at they're job

2. By gems own admission, Impulse barely did anything to her

3.joel literally forgot about this, since it wasn't important

4. Pearl literally did nothing to her, she was just they're as Impulse was having a rake in there chest (no the poisoning doesn't count, Pearl would do that to anyone)

5. If Pearl is to be punished for just being in the area, then why aren't Cleo & Scott also punished?

6. Gem and Impulse have no interactions this session

7. Pearl and Impulse STILL don't realise Gem hates them

8. Gem repeatedly calls what she's doing “Social Deduction”... no.

Gem actually has a lot in common with Impulse, they're both being extremely ruthless for no reason (if these two become thr final two and there isn't an AMV of there journey through teh season set to Ruthlessness from Epic I will literally eat snow.)

How will this saga end? Idk but it's very funny. keep it up.

Apart from that Gem built a wall, befriended her Snail and neither died. Well done!

(Sidenote about the Gem-Impulse beef, people forget this since he hasn't mentioned it yet but Joel makes it his mission to kill Scott every season. These teams would still be against each other regardless of what Impulse did, which is also very funny)

The Final Girls - (Pearl, Scott, Cleo, Impulse & Bigb)

Oh Deer. That's a lot of deaths very early for the faverouites to win

So to start, Impulse’s Creeper farm is a bust and likely will never be seen again. Whoopsie.

The team also decided to move a smidge closer to everyone else. Due to the snails no substantial progress could be made on this endeavour from most of the team tho, luckily Pearl (after dying to her snail, immediately proving herself as the teams crash test dummy again) was able to get a grip on her snail and get the build started, unfortunately as Pearl is building it is almost certainly going to become a tower…. Oh Pearl also died again building it. What's up with her this season?

Moving on to the perpetual drama that I'd this team’s dynamic, where once again we see the contrast between how Tumblr acts like this team is and how they actually are, with everyone just having a grand old chill time joking around and petting dogs. Crazy to think that a team made of these 5 goober would actually ENJOY when they're teammates cause chaos, Hmm?

A lot of this team's session is actually spent apart, meaning that there isn't much to talk about with them. But Pearl is on Yellow now, meaning she is definitely killing someone next session (an action the whole team is one board with btw). Once again proving herself as the attack dog of the life Series, she asks the team who to hurt. Impulse tries to convince her to attack Ren for killing him, but Pearl shoots this down, once again proving that she is NOT ruthless like impulse. Remember everyone, Pearl might be a little chaos gremlin but she does need a reason to kill or she won't do it. She isn't actually just a murder machine like in double life

That's the funny thing about double life actually. Pearl has moved in from the tower, its everyone else who is stuck in it.

Anyway, grian has a big ol target on his back, we'll see how that Pan's out next week.

Oh also SNAIL RACE HELL YEAH MOTHER FU

The Bam-Boozelers (Scar, Lizzie & Jimmy)

Lizzie thinks snails are arthropods.

Remember when I said Jimmy was the only confident one on this team? Well I guess he didn't have the confidence brain cell this week because he died. He died so much. The entire session for these guys is pretty much just trying to save Jimmy.

This doesn't go very well at all. Jimmy is able to get one life back through a deal with Ren, but all other attempts to intentionally kill someone fall flatter than Scar in session one. At least he does take initiative and blow up Joel's Hidious-Horrible-No-Good-Mobile. Great work big man!

Aslo, Jimmy admitted to being the harvester of the end! The canary curse isn't dying g first it's dying RIGHT before the Finale! That's Canon! I was right! VINDICATION!

The Tuff Guys (Bdubs, Etho & Tango)

Word of advice, if you need to constantly say your tough, your not.

Somehow despite making literally negative progress, this team still managed to do a lot. Bdubs immediately starts the episode with some light gaslighting on account of being bdubs. After this it is decided he must “do something tuff” and so he is sent to go mess with the Bam-Boozelers.

Keeping up with tuff guy tradition, bdubs doesn't do anything. Instead he enlists the Bam Gang to help him make up a story about how totally bad and evil he is. Bdubs is also allowed to come stay with them when the tuff guys inevitably fall apart. An offer bdubs is willing to accept even after Jimmy & Scar get him killed.

In other tuff news, Etho is desperate to prove that he is super tuff and shows up to kill the Bam-Boozelers cows…while they're away meaning he did not have to display any tuffness. He literally just needed to be in and out before they got back. He also takes a second shot at the final girls at gem's request again, and like the first time it goes horribly. The first time he gets distracted by the snail dance party (who wouldn't) and when he remembers what he actually set out to do, the most tuff then he can think of is empty threats and mild littering. C- for effort.

And then there's poor unfortunate Tango, not only does he go to red this session but he also loses his house after being blamed for the cow deaths etho caused. Oh but don't worry he got revenge on scar… in a way that was easily repairable and did no actual damage apart from massively lowering his own reputation.

That is the great tuffness of the tuff guys everybody! They're failing at everything and getting overly stressed about shelled gastropods!

The Spanners (Grian, Mumbo & Skizz)

Grian seemed to think this card would be easy, and I geuss it is if you k ow what to expect and have one of your mates Snail watching you all episode.

Now, Skizz, majestic failure that he is, went yellow super quickly and so the entire session is spent trying to save his but in a multitude of ways, all of which skizz manages to fail at spectacularly. Grian does manage to save Ren from Yellow for about ten minutes and at the cost of any chance he had of Impulse not killing him.

Eventually skizz gave up on all the compilated plots and just wacked Lizzie until she died.

He then immediately got killed again God damn it skizz.

OK so skizz massively lowered they're reputation with the Bam-Boozelers for nothing AND Impulse's revenge meter is full and his team won't hold him back anymore AND I think Martyn might still be peeved at the Enchanter situation AND Tango probably still wants to kill them AND despite what grian says Gem and Joel don't seem to care about them beyond nudging them to kill Impulse so yeah these 3 are super dead, I give them like a session until one of them drops.

P.S Mumbo calls the Snail meme a “thought experment” and I found that very funny and I think you should too.

Also apparently Jimmy and Grian debate what to do about the snail all the time??

Renwood (Martyn & Ren)

There will be a live Snail reaction meme over yaoi of these two I just now it.

Fallowing they're arc of being nice this season, Renwood goes on a great friend finding journey, allying with Gem & Joel on the condition of totally being super mean to Impulse promise and forming a friends to the end Pack with Jimmy at the cost of a spare life.

Ren probably regrets that particular pact as, while trying to perform a great horse search, he loses a life. And another. And so he must kill, allying temporarily with the Spanners to get a kill on Impulse, something that he immediately regrets, proving he is less of a Rottwiler and More of a Labby. Luckily for ren he avoids Impulse's revenge list for now on account of apologising, getting instant Karma for it and the other final girls desperately holding Impulse back.

Martyn on the other hand has a far better time, gallivanting I'm the Nether with etho for potions (he died doing that but shhh), organising the great Snail dance party and joining up with fellow Chaos Gremlins Pearl and Impulse to have some fun with snails and tnt.

With potions in hand the Renwood duo and Etho got up to all sorts of mischief, turning ren invisible and making Scar's Snail invisible, resulting in him almost dying twice and being out of the series…oopsie.

Also Martyn sucks at explaining the Snail meme and thinks the all spice guy and kool aid man are the same person.

Predictions?

With more information comes the first Predictions from me.

●Someone goes out and soon. Probably Skizz or Scar. Jimmy will survive tho, after all the canary curse means he's the harbinger of the end of the series… though with how it's going, next session very well could be the end of the series.

●Grian Is getting murked next session, probably by Pearl.

● The tuff guys will fall apart. Bdubs will buy with the Bam-Boozelers, Etho with Gem and Joel and Tango will be left scrabbling for someone to team up with.

● Joel will try to get revenge on Jim for blowing up the car and will fail

● Etho will continue to look like a total loser

● One of the people yet to die loses a life next session.

So uh yeah. I'm gonna go lie down for until next week.

Until then I've been Ivy, and this has been… whatever this was.

[philokaliist]

'Fire'

Clarisse La Rue with a girlfriend who's similar to her hc's! 💋

A/N:MADE FOR MY FRIEND BC SHE'S LITERALLY LIKE AN ANGRY CHIHUAHUA BUT I STILL LOVE HERRR

So Clarisse would totally be into someone with an even worse temper than hers,like they'd have epic shouting matches that end in intense make-out sessions most of the time.

I feel like she would constantly challenge you to sparring matches, pushing each other to the limits just to prove who's the ultimate warrior. Like, "Come on,pretty thing, let's see what you've got!"

But picture this: she LOVES it when you share battle strategies with her, even if you disagree. It's like, "Yeah, yeah, your plan's trash,but I like the fire in your eyes."

I feel like she would steal your fries at the campfire and then pretend like nothing happened. And if you confront her, she'd just smirk and say, "Survival of the fittest,babe."

Clarisse is totally the type to challenge you to a duel over the smallest things, like who gets the last chocolate chip cookie. It's all in good fun, though – a way to keep the relationship spicy.

She deff has a secret stash of soft, romantic poetry hidden somewhere, and she'll deny it vehemently if you ever find out. But deep down, she loves that you appreciate her softer side.

Imagine her dragging you into impromptu late-night training sessions, demanding you prove your strength at the most inconvenient times. "A true warrior never rests,mamas."

She LOVES it when you compliment her battle scars, seeing them as badges of honor. It's like her version of sweet talk, and she'll proudly recount the stories behind each scar.

I feel like she would secretly enjoy cuddling after a tough day, pretending she's just doing it to help you relax. But truthfully, she craves those quiet moments of intimacy.

HEAR ME OUT,so she would totally write you cheesy love letters but hide them under the guise of strategic notes. It's like, "This battle plan is foolproof, just like my love for you."

Imagine her getting jealous when other demigods stare at you, but she'd never admit it. Instead, she'd just wrap her arm around you possessively and shoot them a death glare.

She deff has a soft spot for your cooking, even if she insists on calling it "acceptable" or "not terrible." But deep down, she appreciates the effort you put into making meals for her.

I feel like she would have a secret collection of cute, heartwarming animal videos that she watches when no one's around. It's her guilty pleasure, and she'd deny it vehemently if caught.

Imagine her surprising you with impromptu adventures outside of camp, like a spontaneous road trip or a daring quest. She'd act all tough, but it's her way of showing she values shared experiences.

So she would absolutely love it when you challenge her authority, whether it's in battle or decision-making. It's like a constant power struggle that keeps things exciting.

I also feel like she would lowkey enjoy participating in camp pranks with you, reveling in the chaos and mischief. It's her way of letting loose and embracing the lighter side of life.

She LOVES it when you challenge her to a friendly competition, whether it's archery or a climbing race. It's like, "Winner gets bragging rights for a week!"

She deff calls you out on your anger issues, but in that tough-love way that only Clarisse can pull off. It's like, "Princess,chill before you burn the whole camp down!"

Honestly,she would low-key love the fact that you can match her in the anger department.Like, "Finally, someone who gets it!" They're like the most chaotic duo of Camp Half-Blood.

A/N:Another quick drabble for this morning before I mentally kms from doing hw (p.s:I won't even open the book.)

[emberunderscore]

FableSMP EPIC the musical AU

whole thing comes from the perspective of Midas (as Quixis specifically) being Scylla, which means Icarus has to be Odysseus, which is also fitting tbh.

this is only based on the released sagas bc i dont have the vibe of the future characters yet (i dont look at a whole lot of snippets). also dont think about any of the blood family stuff too hard - theres nothing weird dw but it just makes stuff complicated with the gods

Monsters

Scylla - Quixis Midas

The ideas of Scylla being human turned monster, Midas is human turned Quixis, which in this universe could be something of a replacement for monstrous, which also works with 

Spooky bitch Midas propaganda

Look at my edit to be even more convinced

Polyphemus - Leviathan/Vorago

Probably makes most sense with Leviathan

Instead of the parent/child relationship with Poseidon they're siblings (ocie is poseidon)

Humans/Dead people

Odysseus - Icarus

Icarus has to be Ody because of Midas being Scylla

The song Monster

The conflicts within the plot work well with Icarus’ own relationships

Eury and Ody see each other as brothers, even though it isn't’t blood. Maybe they’re not blood related in this AU

Eurylochus: Rae

Brothers!!

Rae is seen as the leader of Lodestar, which works well with Eury’s place as the voice of the crew

Penelope: Centross??

prison duo

but it actually works because Icarus would do anything for him. just look at season 3

he's probably not smart enough to be penelope but the agenda is more important than that

Telemachus: Oscar

Ik Oscar isn't Icarus' kid but he is Centross and theoretically Centross would've been the one to raise him anyway

See Legendary

Polities: Athena

Optimist

Song open arms

"everything's changed since polities"

Perimedes: Caspian

Perimedes is the one who stabs Odysseus in the back to stop him from killing Eurylochus in Mutiny

For Rae? Cas wouldn't hesitate

Tireseas: Haley

Dead prophet

who else

Ody's dead mom: Isla

Isla is Icarus' mom??? In this AU??? /s

Gods

Zeus: Fable

Orignially this was Epros but I was convinced to change it

Massive ego

Yellow

Actual reasons in this post

Athena: Enderian

This could also be fable but I dont think Icarus would defy him like how he does

Goddess of the Mind, need I say more

Aeolus: Aurelius

They have the vibes I think

Aeolus is gender and so is Aurelius

There are a lot of options I think

I like the idea of the Winions(?) being the piglins they had in their bunker

Poseidon: Ocie

Ocean

At the beginning Ocie is so ready to kill people, she does not care for human life. Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves

She would do that for Vorago

Canon compliant beef with Icarus 

Circe: Momboo

My first thought was Ven because I'm a fucking dumbass

It makes so much more sense than Ven

Plant lady, plant witch

badass

girlboss

pretty woman

Hermes: Rakai

They have the vibes

One of the very few gods to tolerate Icarus

gender

Apollo: Malitae

Apollo sounds so fruity in god games

Apollo cares most about music in god games which is a form of expression so i think it fits for Malitae to be him

Hephaestus: Nexus

In god games Hephaestus' thing is trust, he's pissed that Ody betrayed his crew

Nexus is the Goddess of Loyalty so it fits really well that she'd be upset about that

Nexus was also a knight so being a god of blacksmithing isn't too far from that

Aphrodite: Soul

Aphrodite cares about Ody's mom's broken heart

If we thing of it in the context of soulbonds it makes sense that Soul would be upset about that

Ares: Netherum

Ares is the only one in god games to match Athena's power, which checks out - major god to major god

Maybe its a bit ooc for Netherum themself

But god of destruction as the god of war. thats something

Would totally step in for Soul

Hera: Perix

In this AU we ignore family dynamics- Perix is not married

Calls Athena "baby" (kinda gay)

Fits the vibe

can you come up with a better idea? no, nor could I (credit to Sardar106 for this casting lol)

Calypso: Ven

They're so "This could never really happen but let us pretend"

"I wish we could've been something"

Look at this post (person who reblogged has better words than me go read that)

thank you for coming to my au talk. please share your own thoughts and opinions (but also remember that i am objectively correct all of the time /j)

Updated after Wisdom Saga

[forthegothicheroine]

Ah, Waxwork (1988)! The epitome of "I didn't say it was good, I said I liked it." A trashy horror comedy which became infamous among a very specific community of monster fuckers: those too hardcore for Edward Cullen and too squeamish for Pinhead.

I was going to just make a bullet-point list of my thoughts upon rewatch, but there's too much to say, so you lucky people get a full recap!

Our protagonist is Mark, a rich boy who for some reason attends community college. He lives under the thumb of his ridiculous sitcom-villain mother, and has to rely upon his butler sneaking him coffee and cigarettes. I suppose we're seeing what Bruce Wayne's life would be like in a world without alley muggings.

Mark getting sexually rejected will be a running theme in this movie, so let's meet the women who will be doing the rejecting: China and Sarah! These college classmates of his are that improbably 80s horror movie duo, the evil slut and the sweet virgin who are for some unexplained reason besties. China has exchanged Mark for a football player, and she smokes and wears sunglasses and comments on boy's bodies while Sarah acts mildly scandalized. They walk to school, discussing boys and just how promiscuous is too promiscuous, when they see something at the side of the street- a new Waxwork house!

Little do they know what darkness and delight await them inside.

Isn't this a bit outdated, the girls ask each other? You're telling me, I respond, as a former actress at a tourist attraction that was next door to Madame Tussaud's, I have no idea who buys tickets.

They are welcomed at the door by holy shit, David Warner? I really hope he filmed this directly back to back with The Company of Wolves. David Warner invites them to come to a special private opening with a group of up to six people- any more would be too crowded! And China, apparently having nothing better to do as a sexy party girl in the 1980s, agrees. Thus, the rest of the friend group is roped in to attending.

Mark is there, mostly to be hurt whenever China talks about how much fun she's having sleeping with guys who aren't him. There's a dating couple who will show up now and again late in the movie but don't really matter. There are, of course, China and Sarah. And then-

Oh my god. I hadn't seen Twin Peaks yet when I first saw this movie, but oh my god, that's Bobby from Twin Peaks. Doing the same movement tics and vocal cadence that he did as Bobby from Twin Peaks. This is so distracting, you have no idea how much.

Anyway, the gang go to the waxwork house and speaking of Twin Peaks, they are greeted by a small man doing the Peter Dinklage bit from Living in Oblivion ("Make it weird, put a dwarf in it!") We don't have too much time to dell on that, though. The kids hang out for a bit so China has more time to sexually insult Mark, and then they are finally allowed into the wax museum itself.

The waxwork is, all in all, actually pretty cool! It's a bunch of scenes from "history", by which we mean classic pre-80s horror movies. There's the Mummy, there's the Invisible Man, there's Audrey II, there's Jack the Ripper. Keep in mind that all of these exhibits, not just Jack the Ripper, will later prove to have been taken directly from real life events. The sequel muddies this with horror movie scenes that take place in alternate dimensions in a cosmos that weirdly resembles Moorcock's Eternal Champion mythos, but we're not talking about the sequel right now.

I wish I could write a novelization of this movie and just go nuts on the worldbuilding. My speculations would make for an epic of Tolkienesque length.

Bobby from Twin Peaks is the first to go exactly where you're expecting: into an exhibit to get killed. He stumbles into a scene from the Wolf Man (which oddly enough looks a bit like the 2010 Wolf Man but they're obviously trying to do either the original Universal or Hammer version.) He bitches about this, how it must be a hologram and a super lame one at that because there are, like, no girls in bikinis or anything, just some dick in a cabin telling him to run for his life!

(Put a pin in that, by the way.)

He should have listened. But hey, someone has to be the first bit of canon fodder.

The Wolf Man is, of all people, John Rhys-Meyers! He pleads with Bobby to run, but it's too late- his transformation has begun! This is not a bad werewolf look, as practical effects go; he's got a snout and everything. The extremely long ears are what bother me. I felt this way in the Into the Woods movie as well- Johnny Depp just looked like a really sleazy rabbit. But this Wolf Man is a real deal monster, and while Bobby cowers after taking a flesh wound, he sets upon a pair of hunters who have tracked him down, ripping the younger one in half straight through the head.

As goofy as it is, Waxwork gets pretty damn gory.

The older hunter, who's clearly supposed to be Peter Cushing as Van Helsing, ends his reign of terror with a silver bullet. And when the wounded Bobby starts to transform as well, Van Helsing puts a stop to that with a second shot. Fade out to the waxwork exhibit, which now has a half-transformed victim beside the Wolf Man.

So much for Bobby. But eh, fuck 'im, he wasn't much of a character. China, on the other hand...

China notices a display with a particularly handsome villain. She takes a step over the velvet rope to take a closer look, and thus seals her fate.

(Side note: I don't know if I'd survive the movie or be first to get killed, because I would be going "But we're not supposed to touch the exhibits!" the whole time.)

China emerges into a Christopher Lee-worthy dark castle, wearing a white prom dress that's good enough period attire for this sort of movie. Thus begins the Dracula sequence, the first reason this movie has a very specific cult following.

As a teen in the '00s, I frequented web rings of blogs that reviewed old science fiction movies. There was one sight which was dedicated to cataloging every vampire movie the author could find- her favorites were The Lost Boys, Mr. Vampire and Interview with the Vampire- and she listed this as the single sexiest depiction of Dracula on film. Naturally, I spent the next several pre-streaming era years hunting down a VHS.

And who do we have playing sexy Dracula? In yet another 'you're not gonna believe this' casting choice, Miles "How Much Keefe" O'Keefe! The man known to all MSTies as Ator, and to other shlock aficionados as Tarzan! I have no idea why they cast him, but you know what? That barbarian warrior cleans up pretty damn well.

China is too stunned by her surroundings to quibble, and takes the part of a gothic heroine staying at the castle, whose fiance "unfortunately had to leave just now." Dracula introduces her to his lovely lady friends and his brooding adult son Stephan, and serves her a meal of steak tartar in salty red sauce, the suggestive setup for a rather gruesome payoff later.

In-character, Sarah is cornered in her room by Stephan, who says that his father wants her for himself and that he'd be banished from the castle if it was known he put his hands on her first- but before he can get past the fangs-out stage of his assault, she flees down the hallway, as far as she can run, until she reaches a room out of a Saw movie poster, half-dungeon and half-kitchen.

Her fiancee- that is, the fiancee in whatever real-life story she stepped into- is chained up, with one leg gruesomely cut down to the bone to serve to his captors and his own unknowing bride. China tries and fails to unchain him while he runs her through a quick explanation of what vampires are and how to kill him, just in time for Stephan to catch up with her.

China is surprisingly heroic in this scene, given how completely unsympathetic the movie had set her up to be. Son of Dracula goes down with a cross burned into his forehead, while she takes out a few Brides via wine bottles through the chest. When the chained up fiancee turns, though, she flees, sobbing, though the castle, her white gown covered in blood.

"Going somewhere, my beauty?" Dracula asks. She turns and looks into his eyes- and now it is too late. She falls under his hypnotic trance, and he lowers her to the floor, ending her human life in an ecstatic kiss.

It's a better way to go than she would have gotten in most other dumb horror movies of this era.

Mark- remember Mark?- has finally noticed that two of his friends (such as they are) have gone missing. He figures they must have gone off to hook up, but that doesn't feel right- for some reason, he knows that Bobby is the one man that China would never ever want to fuck. Sarah is less concerned, as she's focused on a statue of the Marquis de Sade looking like a sexy pirate. When Mark does get her to leave with him, he shoots his shot, but Sarah says that while he's a nice guy and she likes him a lot, she's looking for something...different.

Sarah's whole deal, as you may have guessed, is that she's a virgin at least in part because she can only be satisfied by BDSM, a desire she learned about through secretively reading de Sade but has no contemporary sex ed language to talk about. To the film's credit, this very Clive Barker plotline isn't used to make her unsympathetic or deserving of death, but rather to enhance the theme of Mark getting sexually rejected.

(Also, Mark paid his ESL housekeeper to write an essay for him, which was demanded by a history professor who was weirdly into Hitler. To his dismay, the essay read "I do not like dictators. They do the shouting and wear the small mustaches."

Well. She's not wrong.)

When China and Bobby fail to reappear the next day, Mark and Sarah go off to investigate. A mean cop tells them that lots of people have recently gone missing, and ends up investigating on his own- an investigation that ends with him being killed by the Mummy while the theme from Swan Lake plays in the background. (The title music in Universal's original Mummy and Dracula! The music I walked down the aisle to at my wedding! It's a little detail I liked.)

China's jock boyfriend also shows up to get killed by the Phantom of the Opera, while David Warner shakes his head in surprise to learn that he knew the character from a movie. "They'll make a movie of anything these days!" he says. However, I found myself focusing on the brief close-up where we saw that the Phantom had a mustache. A well-maintained mustache. Half-covered by a half-mask. Does he shave and maintain it on the deformed side, too? These are the kind of questions my novelization would go into.

Mark and Sarah get a quick rundown on everything from a professorly type of guy in a wheelchair who's basically the Criminologist from Rocky Horror. He tells them that via something something dark magic, victims are being given to evil men who are long dead to revive them and then something something destroy the world. For all I joke, it is my fondest dream to be this kind guy- a librarian who could give the protagonist exactly the book they need to fight Dracula.

Remember that pin I had you put in the Wolf Man pleading with Bobby to run? That brings up the question of what this movie considers "evil men". The Wolf Man really didn't want to kill anybody, but his body was taken over by the curse! And what about Audrey II? I'll grant that the plant sure was a dick, but was he a man? And what about all the ghouls in the zombie exhibit? The first time I watched this I also quibbled about the Marquis de Sade being here alongside actual murders, but I'll let that slide this time- the sheer scale of his imagination for evil was impressive enough, even if he didn't get to do most of it.

Mark and Sarah go to burn the waxwork down, but the temptation to fuck the Marquis is too much and Sarah just willingly goes right into his wax exhibit. Mark falls into the zombie exhibit, where it goes black and white in a pastiche of Night of the Living Dead as he fights off walking corpses and crawling disembodied hands.

Sarah has a better time. Now we see the second part of why this movie has a very specific cult reputation.

The Marquis de Sade, as portrayed in Waxwork, is dashing man with long dark hair, a puffy shirt open to reveal a very hair chest, wearing leather boots and gloves and always carrying a whip. He is entertaining a man (blonde and similarly good-looking, played by the director) whom he calls "your majesty", who will later to be revealed as Prince George of England, the future George IV. This struck me as absolutely hilarious.

For the prince's entertainment, he offers the sole virgin in his stable of beauties- Sarah, of course, stepping forward to have her arms affixed over her head proudly and eagerly. He leans in and whispers his intentions to Sarah- to whip her bloody, hand her over to George and his men for their enjoyment, then torture her to death- and she kisses him and swoons into her chains.

This scene is interesting because of how it's shot. There's no nudity in this movie- the only skin Sarah proceeds to expose is her back. I don't want to use terms like "male gaze" or "female gaze" because the former is a greater scale film theory term and the latter isn't really a term outside of tumblr, but this scene and the one with Dracula are presented as bodice rippers. Whether or not women went to see this movie, let alone enjoyed it, both scenes but especially the one with Sarah and de Sade are portrayed as female sexual fantasies. We don't see much of Sarah's body, but we see many close-ups of her face, perspiring and biting her lip as she waits for each sting of the whip.

Britain's "Video Nasties" list from 1984 banned many gory horror movies as obscene. Waxwork has far less gore than Evil Dead or Bay of Blood. As far as I know, it has never been banned under any obscenity laws.

By the time Mark (remember Mark?) gets out of his exhibit and into Sarah's, we are told that she has taken more whipping than any other woman the Marquis has ever seen, and enjoyed every bit of it. Mark saves her, but she pushes him away and runs back to the Marquis, kneeling at his foot and grasping at his boot. No, she protests, she wants to stay here! Smirking at the polo-clad dork from the future, de Sade said the line that dropped my jaw to the floor when I first saw this in my impressionable youth.

"Don't be angry just because she had her first orgasm at the end of a whip and not by your touch!"

Somehow not shriveling up and dying from that insult, Mark persuades Sarah that they should go because this setup did kill their friends and Your Mind Makes it Real and ugh, fine, Sarah will go back and save the world if she really has to. de Sade promises Mark that they'll meet again, though. ("How much did the Marquis de Sade know about this whole time and/or dimension traveling thing?" is another great question I would have expounded on in my novelization.)

But the kids have not yet saved the day, and their two friends from the very beginning are sacrificed in their places. The stars are right, the sacrifices have been made, and it's time for all the monsters and assorted villains to come to life and something something destroy the world! Thankfully, backup has arrived in the form of the wheelchair-bound expert from before and a while gang of his elderly and heroic friends, including Mark's totally-not-Alfred butler. Let the big chaotic fight scene commence!

Blood sprays left and right. Mark kills a zombified former friend, and weeps when his butler kills the vampirized China. Sarah tosses the small minion guy right into Audrey II. Dracula gets perhaps the lamest death onscreen he's ever had, surpassing even Scars of Dracula where he was randomly hit by lightning.

And the Marquis de Sade, who apparently is quite the swashbuckler, is flitting around with rapier and whip, having a grand old time. (At least it's better than what he supposedly did during the storming of the Bastille...) He beats Mark easily in combat, but makes the mistake of doing a gloating monologue before driving his blade through the boy's throat, giving Sarah the chance to break his spine with an ax. Let's hope Mark appreciates the sacrifice.

David Warner still must be confronted, however. Mark demands to know why he wants to destroy the world, and he smiles and responds "Somebody has to."

I guess you can't argue with that.

The elderly gentlemen give their lives to kill Warner, and the whole building goes up in flames. The only survivors are Mark, Sarah and a crawling disembodied hand who is off to set up the events of the sequel. Mark and Sarah embrace, but nothing more, at least not until the sequel.

Is Waxwork good? No. Is it scary? Some of the gory bits did make me wince. Is it funny? Sometimes on purpose, sometimes probably not on purpose. Is it offensive? We see a brief glimpse of what looks like a very racist tableau with an evil witch doctor or something, the role of the small minion is not exactly a great part, and China and Sarah were plucked right from the virgin-whore archetype with only somewhat more depth.

But do I watch it, fascinated, as if it is an esoteric text containing the secret alchemical formula for gold? I sure do.

[dyed-red]

one thing i love about supernatural (and about wincest but it's endemic to the canon) is that it doesn't matter how high the stakes are, the actual stakes are honestly, exceptionally low, but we are so. so. so fucking invested.

what i mean is that - the true stakes of the show are always and forever sam and dean's relationship. are they good? are they in alignment? where do they stand and where will they stand after this?

yes the world is ending, yes people are dying, yes angels are falling and yes that ups the ante superficially. but the real stakes are sam and dean's relationship. it's small scale. it means nothing in the grand scheme of everything and yet it means more than anything else in the entire universe, the entire multiverse by the end of the series. literally just. these two brothers.

it's honestly just really impressive to me because i can't honestly think of another fictional duo (platonic, romantic, or anything in between) who carry a story so entirely on the ups and downs of their relationship, and for whom the story and the consequences and the apocalyptic scale all really pale in comparison to "will these two make it out of this okay?" (and okay can be dead! dead is fine! so long as they're together!)

the epic love story and all that <3

[campbenji]

*JWCT SPOILERS* very messy first thoughts

OH BOY here we go

-ben and darius's dynamic was epic. the hug. the roadtrip scenes. "is your friend okay?" "no 😊". ben getting darius out of his isolation cabin and darius grounding him in ep2. the parallels with s3ep7. "you kiss your mother with that mouth?" i'm gonna be thinking about that scene for days. their ship is still a swim to me but please they better keep whatever the fuck they have going on in s2 because it's fucking wonderful

-i love that they took the chance to give more light to duos we didn't see much in jwcc. teamups we didn't often see like ben and sammy, THE B-DUO, and darius and sammy got very special moments here

-the amount of pictures/videos from the six years in between??? the brooklynn flashbacks??? we were so well fed

-BRAND!!!!!! i got so happy when i heard him the first episode, he's clearly been checking on his brother and i'm glad he's ok

-bowman family FEAST. brand and darius talking over the phone. the pictures on the cabin. kenji saying he calls mrs. bowman once a week and all the nice things he said about her. the whole mess between kenji and darius. "we're brothers, right?" i died dead. i love this family your honor

-sammy. she's got so much going on and we desperately need to talk about it. i'm so worried about her, she's desperately trying to avoid confronting what happened with brooklynn, with yaz and her own trauma, and then they casually dropped on us that her family isn't speaking to her and never elaborated on that?? sammy, who's love and care for her family was her biggest motivation in jwcc?? i need to know what happened because it must've been big

-mateo!! i liked him a lot, he definitely doesn't want to get into any of this mess but still dabbles around a bit to help the kids, which i respect. also i hope we get to meet his daughter hiraya, she sounds really cool

-MS MICROBANGS (or the handler, or whatever name we're calling her). what is her deal. who is she working for. she's so uncanny, literally almost robotic i need to know more about her

-brookenji over i cheered. don't take this personally i've never been a fan of this ship and a part of me knew they weren't going to last long

-the animation increased in quality so much. the scene after ben, yaz and sammy get out of the sinking van is so well done it's so pretty to look at. and the t-rex with the explosion behind her? it reminds me so much of toro in the tunnels in s1ep8, and i haven't tested this out but i feel like if you put them one next to the other the improvement would be so noticeable.

-also related to the point above: that thing when a character's eyes start filling up with tears but they don't cry just yet? 10/10. chef's fucking kiss

-sure jwct has the same tv-y7 rating as jwcc, but from minute 1 it's obvious it's not the same audience they're talking to. it's not a big change in tone, like for example adventure time/distant lands/fionna and cake, but it's there, you can tell they know it's not little kids watching anymore

-BUMPY IS HAVING A BABY BUMPY IS A MOM NOW they had me shit scared for her and then they pulled a freaking egg my heart was literally pounding. anyways i hope they get both bumpy and the egg somewhere safe and that they name the new anky "speckles" (i've gotten so attached to that name in the last 24 hours it's insane)

-YASAMMY THE QUEENS THAT YOU ARE. their relationship was stellar this season, i was scared when i saw that they were apart but their issues felt organic to their relationship and i just love how they were written in the show, they are still so in love with each other and i can't wait to see where they go next season. they're everything to me

-yeah they were apart for half the season but. benji crumbs. the egg cradle scene. kenji helping ben after he got hit with the stun gun. basically all they did was act like they knew each other but idc. we are so back.

-the brooklynn reveal was... meh?? it could've been more rewarding if they waited until s2 to reveal she's still alive, but at least i hope they take their time before reuniting her with the rest of the camp fam. also i can't believe ppl even guessed what arm she was going to lose y'all have prophetic powers or smth

-bringing daniel back to kill him the same episode was an insane move btw. i would've normally complained but it's all worth it for causing the panic attack scene in ep7. kenji's reaction felt so genuine, i'm forever in awe at how well this show writes grief and trauma

-i'm so conflicted about darius's confession. i like dinostar, but i feel like it wasn't needed for darius to be in love with brooklynn to explain the voicemails and the way he was dealing with her death. she was one of his closest friends, his grief made sense even with them being platonic. on the other hand, i love how he admitted it to kenji and the fact they didn't turn it into a huge fight between them; also, "i didn't know i could even feel that way" aroace/acespec darius truthers never lose

-maybe it's just that i need to rewatch, but i'm lost as to where they're going next season?? i know they're getting on a boat but where does that go?? what are they trying to do?? there's so much happening my head is spinning

-ben... he kind of felt like the comic relief for most of the show, the first episodes showed him as being really paranoid again and struggling with being alone, but halfway through the season they just sort of forgot about it?? idk something was off

-bring back kenji's old latin spanish va idk who this guy is but that is not kenji i can't do this. i'll survive the loss of ryan potter but i won't survive this

anyways yeah i think those are most of my uncooked thoughts, overall i really liked the season, i can't believe we got to see the kids again this is still so unreal to me

[team7-headquarter]

Naruto and Sakura are so babies to me BECAUSE they are fucked up off-putting little menaces.

They're the same and it's so funny how they can't recognize it. There's literally no reason for it, there is no connection between them except that they are both protagonists so the story went "Listen, I'm gonna make a pair that is sooooo ridiculously enjoyable to watch because they are sooo weird."

They listen to voices in their head?? Canonically? Both of them were bullied as kids for not being like the rest?? Naruto has freaking whiskers and Sakura pink hair!!! They are so bright and colored it's like a joke to know they want to be ninjas!!!!!!!! They are impossibly loud and bitchy, always up to beat anyone including kids and old people, don't hold back when it's time for mean comments or rejecting people they find ugly or weird, share a total of zero braincells between them sometimes, refuse to see themselves as being less than other people—

I genuinely laugh so hard with them. Remember that time after Kaguya got sealed when Naruto and Sakura panicked over how they'd go back to the real world? They had just saved the world and somehow still had time for their silly antics.

Their summons are (let me check ...) MULTIPLE frogs and a giant snail that can divide into many little versions of herself. They got those summons from their mentors, who happened to be an old man perverted to no one famously known for his erotica writing and a woman known by all for her alcoholic tendencies and being a giant loser that refuses to stop gambling.

You need more convincing? Okay.

Naruto and Sakura are a little perverted as teens and spend 70% of the manga crying. They are so lame in some of their speeches, epic losers from the very beginning because they were the dead last shinobi and kunoichi of their class. When they face a problem, their solution is "I'll beat it up with my own hands". Them in Naruto classic? For sure the stupidest duo around.

Half (or more) of their plans are the worst plans ever and the rest miraculously work so well you have to admit they were cool. They are obsessive and short tempered and even when they are the strongest shinobi and kunoichi duo around, you can't trust they will complete the mission without making it worse first.

... I correct it, they will make it worse first.

On the other hand, you have to win their respect, because they sure as hell won't give it to you out of the goodness of their hearts. They are the best representation of the Will of Fire of the younger generation. No one ever thought Naruto would befriend Kurama like he did, no one ever counted on Sakura becoming a world renowned medic nin, no one thought they would reach that far. They're naive to a fault and they don't fit the shinobi life at all and if they weren't the protagonists, they'd be the first to die or something, but they are the mcs and they are absurd as they come.

I love them sooooo much for all they are and all they are not.

[annabethchase06]

Annabeth being the daughter of Athena was great, but imagine the shit that would go down if Annabeth was Dionysus' daughter. That would be one of the most freaking interesting AUs ever. Together, him, Annabeth, Castor and Pollux would be one heck of a family.

Like Percy's just arrived at Camp and seeing the father-daughter banter. Annabeth threatening anyone with a broken bone everytime they called Dionysus the Wine Dude. Her reminding Dionysus' about his restrictions everytime he summoned wine. Dionysus calling her Annie because he gives (incorrect)nicknames to everyone but this time it won't be incorrect. Him comforting her after Luke's betrayal, in his own way.

The Athena cabin mostly looked at Annabeth as their leader. Dionysus cabin would look upto her as their sister. Castor and Pollux(and I would like to remind everyone that they've been mentioned as looking pretty athletic too) would literally give the evil side eye to anyone who looked sideways at Annabeth, even though they know that she's pretty capable of defending herself. She's still their little sister, after all.

Athena telling Percy to stay away from daughter was okay, but Dionysus telling Peter Johnson to stay away from his Annie would be EPIC. Like him just keeping an eye on them everytime they hung out together(ever since they were twelve year old kids) and also putting Castor and Pollux on the job. Athena stared when Percy and Annabeth danced together in TTC. Dionysus would literally yell "Hands Off" across the party venue.

Imagine Mr. D freaking out everytime she goes on a quest with Percy because that boy attracts trouble like no one else, but eventually (though he does not show it) becoming more and more reassured about her safety because no one would protect his daughter like Percy does and he was one heck of a demigod.

Imagine Dionysus straight up denying that Annabeth leads the quest in the Labyrinth and giving in after like, a two hour long argument, because he saw what that maze did to Chris Rodriguez. And then him seeing go mad with worry about Percy after she emerged out of the wretched maze sobbing hysterically about the best friend she'd just lost. Dionysus, his daughter, and his son grieving over the family member they lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth – both of them helping Pollux through grief because he'd lost his twin meanwhile holding themselves together as well.

When Annabeth and Percy finally start dating and share that epic underwater kiss, he just looks into the lake, yells "To the Big House once you're finished, the both of you! You still need my permission!" and walks away, sipping Diet Coke but internally, he's happy his daughter finally got the amazing future she deserved.

And if we can assume that somehow the falling into Tartarus part still happens(even though Annabeth isn't a daughter of Athena in the AU), Mr. D would be totally wrecked. And he's relieved, but his heart breaks when she comes out broken. He has to watch her and the Johnson boy scream themself awake at nights. To watch them cope through PTSD, depression and what not.

And he helps them, even Perry Johnson, because at this point, he's like his son as well and they're going to be like an epic Father in law-son in law duo in the future. He's accepted him just as Sally accepted Annabeth and he has so much respect for that woman because she gave his daughter love like a mother, she gave her what she was missing.

And now somehow Percy Jackson was a member of their tiny little family as well, and he's seeing his daughter finally get that peace. And he's happier than ever.

[starstriix]

Jo's dynamics with other characters are all usually fun and engaging due to her being such an entertaining and adaptable character herself; but they can honestly be so much more interesting if people explored them a bit more?

For example, take Jo and Lightning. They have a hilarious dynamic with Jo having to deal with Lightning's stupidity and learning to manipulate his self-centeredness to her advantage. Except one thing I don't see explored enough is their similarities??

They're both overconfident athletes who are willing to do bad shit in order to win. It makes me think that Jo might’ve had a similar upbringing to him where she had to deal with the pressure of winning? Like, a cut-throat attitude doesn't just develop out of nowhere. Except whilst I think Lightning's ego developed from being constantly praised (and eventually pressured with having to live up to others' expectations), Jo might’ve been constantly belittled and underestimated (for yknow, being a girl) and she would've had to work hard to achieve recognition from others. Episode 6 pretty much confirms that she uses a false bravado and anger to cover up feelings of insecurity. I just think their possibly similar yet different upbringings and perspectives would be cool to explore.

Jo and Zoey is one of my favourite duos! They definitely should've become friends; I think they would've been a fun dynamic, and gen 2 could've used a proper female friendship. I think them both having the "Not like other girls" aspect is quite interesting?? As well as them both initially lacking actual friendships (with Zoey's lonely childhood, and Jo's... Just Jo) which is. Pretty common amongst the gen 2 girls. Huh

Zoey could've been a MUCH more interesting character (I always just use the cool epic version of her I have inside my head). Let her be weirdddd or let her be super basic and intentionally pose as "indie" to seem cool and different. Maybe she looks down on other "basic" girls to cover up how she feels insecure around them for being weird and having unconventional interests herself idk. I think the dynamic of both Zoey and Jo hating on pretty, popular girls and overcoming that is super neat. Especially since they're both something that the other hates; Zoey is a typically feminine girl and Jo is a jockette. Let them become friends and be like "okay well you aren't so bad" and then eventually stop judging other girls for being "feminine" or "basic" pleaseeeee it'd be so good. Even better: let ALL the revenge girls be friends. I just want them to be happy OKAY? Okay.

Finally, Jo and Cameron! Another duo I'm fond of. Awesome brains/brawns combination, and the whole arc of Cam standing up to her and Jo respecting him for it is absolutely peak. Jo's elimination in roti was pretty much perfect, but I also think she could've worked well in the finale. Her being a combination of brains and brawns would have encouraged Cameron to use both, which would be a neat callback to Jo's earlier line of needing to get physical in TD. (Still think she should've rooted for Cameron over the guy who insisted that she was a dude for most of the season but whatever)

I haven't really seen this take on their dynamic, but the whole thing of Cameron's development being stunted from the over-protective environment of his upbringing and Jo being toughened by the harsh environment of hers adds a fascinating layer to their relationship. Whereas Cameron was prevented from being able to properly grow up and experience things like normal teens, Jo grew up way too soon and put more focus into winning than making positive relationships and allowing herself to just be a teenage girl (I personally believe Jo got the """tough love""" treatment). Idk I just think this would be cool to delve into and see how their opposite childhoods impacted them and their core values when interacting with each other

Cameron clearly saw her as both a role model and an opponent, which is a really fun dynamic! She was a bully, yeah, but she also presented herself as someone who was always in control and knew what she was doing, so it's understandable that Cam looked up to her. She was pretty much the opposite of overprotective too, which is probably what drew Cam to her since she didn't coddle him (and instead made fun of him LMAO). And of course, Jo learned to not underestimate the tiny nerds and gave her respect in the end. Super fun and intriguing duo, and probably the only td pair I would actually compare to siblings.

So yeah basically I think we should start looking into TD relationship dynamics more because they're awesome and filled with potential. Especially Jo's because she is the best ever and if you think otherwise then you're wrong

Also have a gold star if you just read through all of that ⭐️ great work soldier

[animentality]

I'm not looking forward to season 3 of Blue Lock.

There will be good moments sprinkled here and there, like Bachira doing his monster thing, Chigiri stealing from Kaiser, Nagi and Reo getting re-married, but the Neo Egoist League Arc is way too long. It's gonna be like 25 full episodes, since the entire arc is over a hundred chapters long, and most of them will be Isagi beefing with Kaiser against players we don't care about.

Plus, all the matches are basically the same. Isagi's team wins every one, and he gets the final goal.

Also he calls Kaiser a bitch.

It's not that I hate Kaiser, I actually love him, I think he's the best character introduced in the NEL arc, it's just that the first arcs of Blue Lock knew not to focus on just one rivalry all the time.

We got new rivalries all throughout the First Selection.

We had an even dispersal of, ok Bachira's a new rival, now here's Kunigami, now here's Chigiri, now here's Nagi and Reo - these were all interesting characters who had space to breathe and develop personal relationships with our MC.

They all had matches where they got to shine as the main play makers. Kunigami got super goals. Bachira outdribbled an entire team on his own. Chigiri had the most epic First Selection moment, when he broke the chains weighing him down. Reo and Nagi were introduced as a demonic duo, and had an entire match to show how good they were together.

Even that side ass character Kuon had an interesting moment...hell, he had two. He fucked up two different games, betrayed his team, and then redeemed himself.

He wasn't even a major character, but he had a singular story to tell, that didn't rely entirely on the specific match he played in, or the goals he scored.

But the Neo Egoist League Arc is like...a rushed mess, that somehow managed to take up 40% of the entire manga at the same time.

It's got the dense, complicated character juggling of the U20 arc, except not good, lol. U20 had high stakes. It was intense, and every character was juggled, sure, but at least they all had their time to shine. That's 22+ characters who had to get some focus, plus the substitutions. I'd say Kaneshiro did a banger job of maintaining the tension, while still moving us around from person to person with consistency. But NEL?

The stakes were immediately lowered by the fact that winning the matches doesn't matter, scoring does.

And it like, cycles through every important character, gives them a single goal, and then proceeds on to the next player who needs to get a goal. Then it neglects that character for another twenty chapters.

There's no even pacing here.

And what's worse is that most of the players on these teams are...not that interesting. Karasu and Otoya, most of the European team members, who basically don't exist... I personally don't like Niko, who just does the same thing Isagi does, or Yukimiya (although at least Yukimiya's backstory is depressingly real, and kinda compelling, even if he himself isn't utilized that well).

I like Hiori, but Nanase and Kurona and Kiyora...I mean, they're kinda just there to give Isagi assists...

They're not quirky and weird and relatable like the freaks of First Selection. They don't get the time and spotlight they need for me to really care.

Like any of these characters could probably be great if the pacing was better, but... it's like the mangaka will just speed through a backstory before one of them passes to Isagi. And then that's it.

The only true spotlight is given to Kaiser or Isagi.

Now Isagi is the MC, so that's alright, although can I just say, he's kind of unlikable during the NEL arc, like, Jesus Christ, was he...awful when he was against Man City...if he hadn't apologized to Yukimiya...hmmm...and after an entire match of calling Nagi and Reo slurs too, lol...but I digress...

And Kaiser is good, he's great, but can you imagine how boring the First Selection arc would've been if it was entirely dedicated to Isagi just beefing with Barou?

Like come on.

It's basically just a glorified training arc, that abandons what made Blue Lock interesting in the first place, which is the high stakes, but then doesn't have the decency to at least still give us the great character drama that we've come to expect from BL.

And that's a shame.

It's also fucking ridiculous for a training arc to be so long.

God.

I hope it ends soon.

Please get back on track.

[sui-imi]

I actually amused that roo got chase by his alternative self along side with dust and killer. They're know as manic in multiverse for that! I respect your bravery hahahaha.

A question for roo: How you feel first time being chase by horror alongside his friends.

A question for exec: I actually curious...what you think of Xgaster and epictale gaster ? They the most hilarious duo I ever seen and find them very fun to annoying with questions from Anons

[EXEC] Really Though... The Bike Thing Is Getting Ridiculous Now.

[ROO] yeah yeah, i get it... it's expensive and 'phys bites your head off everytime it happens.

[EXEC] Not That. (Well, Yes, That Too.) The Bikes Are The Only Thing That Allows You To Travel AUs. Breaking It Only Traps You There. Why Do You Even Have That Ridiculous Metal Pipe Of Yours, If You Just Resort To Throwing The Bike?

[ROO] hey, i use it! but sometimes i just... go on autopilot. i'm not good with stress. you know that.

[* Exec sighs.]

[EXEC] Roo. I Understand Your Circumstances... But Break Another Bike, And 'Phys Can Bite Your Head Off Instead Of Mine.

[ROO] ...i-i'll be on my best behaviour...

---

Thanks for the questions, anon!

credits:

horror sans: horrortalecomic / sour apple studios

killer sans: rahafwabas

dust/murder sans: ask-dusttale

xgaster: jakei95 / xtaleunderverse

epic gaster: yugogeer012

[laiosynth]

kung lao in the spider-monk au

none of this super awesome epic story will make sense without PART 1 !!! explains how liu kang became spiderman

all story below the readmore VVV

when liu leaves for america, lao is hurt. he knows, logically, that raiden is the one to blame, but liu didn't even fight to stay or take lao with him.

and then deadpool comes along.

the vigilante slash mercenary is just stopping by, purely coincidence. decided he wanted to see the place. kung lao, of course, was naturally curious, and approched to say hello. to his surprise, deadpool is fluent in mandarin, and they strike up a lengthy conversation about their different lives. at one point, deadpool mentions "his spider-monk back home". kung lao naturally asks about it.

deadpool pulls out his phone, and pulls up a selfie of him and spidey- spidey's mask is half- up his face, and he's in the middle of trying to eat a taquito. deadpool is going on about the selfie, but.. kung lao is focused on the face. the lips of this 'spidey'. they have the exact two matching scars that liu's lips have, from when they were 8 and had the brilliant idea to get into body modification. it's the same mouth kung lao has seen scarfing down soup after training that reaches for a bit of taquito in the picture.

deadpool realises after a few seconds of silence that kung lao is in shock. and then that kung lao is crying. oh, shit.

kung lao spills immediately. he's ranting. he's raving.

HOW could liu do this?? first, leave without a hint of remorse to america of all places, second, start taking up dangerous hobbies, and third, NEVER FUCKING TELL HIM????? what was he thinking!? the idiot will get himself killed doing stupid shit without kung lao there.

deadpool offers the condolence that "he's definitely guilty about it, and i know he misses you. assuming, here, that you're the 'other half' he's always waxing poetic about."

and then, because he's an agent of chaos, deadpool offers payback: a secret to keep from liu. that way they're even. deadpool can offer training. (aka, wade really likes this kid and wants an excuse to hang about)

lao accepts immediately.

it's the next month that sees good news finally arrive-- in the best decision he's made since the 18th century, raiden is sending kung lao overseas to be with liu kang.

kung lao moves in on liu's last day of school.

raiden never told liu that lao was coming. liu kang comes home to find lao standing in the flat, like an idiot, staring at the doorway.

hugs. embraces.

then kung lao gives liu the tongue-lashing of the century. liu, fully aware at this point he's been a dick, takes it. then they hug again.

they spend the entire summer break together causing chaos in NYC, finally back together again, the dynamic duo.

and then liu discovers kung lao's secret-

not only has kung lao been training with deadpool, he's started his own stint as a vigilante.

needless to say, the fight that ensues is a whirlwind of huge, horrible emotions, name-calling, blame-throwing, and hurtful words.

they've made up by the end of the night anyway, because they both get miserably sad when they're mad at each other. unfortunately, their solution to the newfound power imbalance they've correctly identified as the unfair factor is possibly the dumbest plan any teenage vigilante has EVER thought of.

they're going to infiltrate oscorp, steal one of those fancy spiders that bit liu, have it bite lao so he has powers too, and then be on their merry way.

and they do it. and it fucking works. by some miracle, it works. peter and ned, now in on the secret, are their guys in the chair. mj is their strategist. they infiltrate, they steal, they escape, and oscorp are none the wiser. and even more miraculous, the spider doesn't kill kung lao.

kung lao develops powers, though they're slightly different from liu's-- he can't stick to things, and he isn't quite as strong. however, his regeneration is more comparable to deadpool's than to liu's, and he's got bones of steel-- he's practically impossible to hurt now. fitting.

and so he takes his RIGHTFUL place at liu's side as an equal vigilante, and after they're out of their month-long grounding for pulling that stunt without telling matt anything, they're a veritable vigilante family. matt is trying to obtain legal guardianship over them, and they're fine with that.

(lao, as a vigilante, calls himself styx. he's visually not a successor to deadpool, but when you see him on the field, deadpool's humor and violent tendencies have very much rubbed off on him.)

[juno-stuffs]

so my hand slipped and while it did it made me search every nook and cranny of the epic fandom for every single existing wlw ship i could find and made me draw three so far + my ramblings

-- circe x penelope (cirpen/cirlope) (i personally prefer 'cirlope' but that's just me :])

was gonna put this in the "technically doesn't count" section since i first saw this ship with circe the book and not epic. but then i saw an epic version of this ship on tiktok so...fuck it we ball.

i luh luh love this ship in circe (the book). in epic, it's cool. i think they'd be a good duo, romantic or not tbh. also, if you read circe the book and ship penelope and circe in that book, go to ao3 and read the circe and penelope fics. i dunno why, but the writers in that scene are like sappho reencarnates? i dunno, they're great.

(also penelope had more sexual tension with circe than telemachus did in that book fight me /not srs)

-- circe x scylla

BOO!! TOXIC YURI JUMPSCARE! /silly

not the biggest fan of toxic yuri, which is pretty much this ship, but i felt very inclined to include these two. i don't have much to say about them, though, they're just neato. (btw you'll see these two again but with a plus one.) like with circe and pen, there were fics of them on ao3, but only two. if you do want to read them, i suggest only reading one if you aren't into freaky things. because one is normal and the other is like if circe got in on the manwhore au but like worse even by the mw au standards so...yeah. not for the squeamish.

also, if you saw my other scylla doodles, i made scylla's hair more wavy since she was looking a little too much like penelope. also gave her scales n shit so. good for her.

tbh i don't like drawing characters with long black hair, especially straight long black hair since i used to have that type of hair and every time i drew a character with that hair people would go: 'oh is that you' NO. SHUT UP. NO IT'S NOT.

but it's okay because i shaved my head and now i'm bald.

-- athena x penelope (bro i don fukin kno)(penna? that's just a name)(a name that gives marker brand but whatever)(athelope sounds like/looks like someone tried to say/spell antelope and fucked up)

a little break from circe. i love my girl circe but damn bitch, don't gotta collect all of them. you in epic, not pokemon. circe is in like 90% of these (i'm not fact checking that). probably since she is the female character with the most screen time, save for athena. even so, not only is circe more appealing to the sapphic gaze, she is easy to put in a wlw setting whereas athena is difficult to put in a romantic setting period. but when athena is, it's typically with a woman, so

found this one in an odysseus x tiresias fanfic on ao3

...

anygays. yeah, they can weave together and shit. penelope would love owls imo but maybe that's just me.

also they're both kind of gray themed characters? eh, actually, i dunno, penelope just gives gray but, again, that might just be me.

if we wanna get into odyssey (which tbh i don't really wanna do since I prefer separating epic and odyssey), athena blessed penelope with sleep often, which is sweet. she also did that to odysseus but this ain't about him right now.

i have a little more but i was too lazy to take a pic of it so. i didn't.

anywompwomp, more to come. (also if you have any wlw epic ships, crackship or not, maybe one of the characters aren't even in epic, send an ask and i'll probably doodle it too :])