#but they have their own families and their own stuff to do

[headspace-hotel]

This year has, so far, been for me a series of rapid realizations of what I have been unlearning.

I went to the library. This was a couple weeks ago. I knew I needed to read a book, fiction. I hadn't done so in over a year and it was the longest period of time I had ever gone without doing so. I made a rule: I would only pick books I had never heard of, by authors I had never heard of, and I would not do any preliminary research or even bother to look at what the book was about. I would make my decision on whether to read or not purely on my impression of the title, cover and opening lines.

The book was The Connoisseur by Evan S. Connell. It was kind of a random selection. I sat down with it in a corner of the library and straight up devoured it. I tore through the book within a few hours, without taking a single break. I was captivated. I couldn't put it down.

It is a book about a guy who buys a Mayan figurine in a knickknack shop while he's on a business trip. and becomes obsessed with pre-Columbian sculptural art. There isn't really much of a plot apart from this. He goes to sketchy antique shows, has conversations with museum curators, wealthy art dealers and forgers, and seeks to learn how to distinguish a genuine pre-Columbian piece from a fake one. It was written in the 1970's, so the views on Native Americans are antiquated and sometimes offensive, and there is the troubling thread of the very concept of looting another culture's treasures and treating them as collectibles, though the book is not without commentary on this.

All the same, it was a completely intoxicating read. The vicarious experience of becoming fascinated with a topic and having it unfold a whole world for you was ferociously gripping, and so was the intrigue of the art collecting world itself. The frauds, forgeries, smuggling, museums, academics, aristocrats, auctions and seedy flea markets. Will he ever be able to tell if a piece is "real?" Does it matter if it's "real?" Why does he want to own and possess a piece of art, and how does its "realness" affect that desire? The book leaves you not knowing what to think.

It is a book about curiosity, portrayed in the narrative as a totally unreasonable lightning bolt that strikes a man who has never been fascinated by anything and changes him forever. Why? Why does a Mayan figurine, in particular, speak to him? Why does any piece of art, or any fascinating thing in the world, speak to anyone? It is unknowable.

I went to the library again. I picked a new book using the same rules. This book was Fragile Beasts by Tawni O'Dell. Just like the last time, I was totally captivated. I couldn't put it down.

Did I have a couple major problems with the portrayal of some important aspects of the story? Yes. (It would make the post much longer to discuss.) Was I completely captured by and invested in the story for the time I was reading it? Also yes. The book braids together several very different strands-- the story of a legendary Spanish bullfighter and a wealthy American woman that he loved, two brothers stuck in an ugly family situation after their father's death in a car accident, and a rich old heir to a Pennsylvania coal mining fortune and to the sinister underbelly of her family's business.

There was a lot about baseball, which I know nothing about, and bullfighting, which I know nothing about, and I certainly don't know anything about being a teenaged boy who resents and mistrusts his estranged mother, or an aristocratic old lady who lives in a mansion and eats fancy Spanish food. It was fun to experience so much unfamiliar stuff and to care about things I wouldn't normally care about. Once again I couldn't stop reading until I had finished it.

I don't know that either book was "good," though I thought they were both well written; I just know that reading them was like being hooked up to an IV of something essential and life-giving and feeling it reanimating my body.

It had been a year since I had read any fiction, but it had been much, much longer since I had loved to read. As I became an adult I had become picky and critical about books, and developed a highly sophisticated sense of my taste and the books I considered good- which were very rare. My taste in books became so sophisticated, eventually, that I didn't like books at all anymore.

I had almost withered away from deficiency of that essential nutrient known as STORY. I'd almost crumbled myself into dust from pretentiousness! I may have been terribly wrong about the kinds of things I liked to read, on top of it. And I certainly hadn't realized that story was such an essential nutrient.

"Just entertainment" the pretentious sorts of people might say of a book they think is useless-- but what is entertainment but to absorb your mind in something, and what is absorbing your mind in a book but to experience things you would never have experienced? It expands you and makes you more complicated. It is the study of human existence itself.

Now all I have been able to think about today is finishing my work and going to the library again...

[astrojulia]

Moon in the Houses: How Your Emotional Needs Shape Your Love Life

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Moon in the 1st House

Your emotions are front and center in your love life. You’re super open about your feelings, which makes it easy to connect with your partner. But watch out—your emotional transparency can also make you a little vulnerable. You might react intensely to things, which can shake up the relationship. You’re all about emotional security and need a partner who gets you on a deep level. You’re not clingy, but you do want someone who can nurture your emotional side. Just be careful not to get too attached or let fears of abandonment creep in. Oh, and you’ve got a protective streak! You love taking care of your partner, but don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Balance is key.

Moon in the 2nd House

You’re all about stability and security in love. You want a partner who makes you feel safe and supported, both emotionally and materially. But don’t confuse emotional connection with material stuff—true love isn’t about what you own. You’re super loyal and value relationships that reflect your personal beliefs. Just be careful not to set sky-high expectations—it’s easy to get disappointed if your partner doesn’t meet them. You show love through actions, like giving gifts or creating a cozy vibe. Just make sure your partner’s on the same page, or it could lead to misunderstandings.

Moon in the 3rd House

Communication is everything in your relationships. You’re drawn to partners who can hold a deep conversation and really get you. But don’t mistake small talk for a real connection—you need more than that. You’re great at expressing your feelings through words, but don’t overdo it. Sometimes, just being present is enough. And remember, listening is just as important as talking. You might also find love in your social circle or through shared interests. Just don’t let outside opinions sway your feelings—trust your own heart.

Moon in the 4th House

You’re all about emotional security and creating a cozy, loving home. You want a partner who shares your values and makes you feel safe. But don’t get so caught up in creating the “perfect” home that you forget to let the relationship grow. Your past and family play a big role in your love life, and you might feel most comfortable with someone who understands your roots. Just don’t let old patterns hold you back—it’s okay to grow and change. You’re a natural caregiver, but don’t lose yourself in taking care of your partner. Make sure your own needs are met too.

Moon in the 5th House

You’re all about fun, passion, and creativity in love. You want a relationship that feels like an adventure, full of joy and excitement. But don’t let the thrill of new experiences keep you from building something deeper. You’re playful and romantic, and you love partners who can keep up with your energy. Just be careful not to avoid commitment—sometimes, love takes work. You show love through creative gestures and surprises! But make sure your partner values your emotional side too.

Moon in the 6th House

You find emotional stability in the little things—daily routines, shared habits, and taking care of each other. You’re all about creating a balanced, harmonious relationship. But don’t get so caught up in the details that you lose sight of the big picture. You’re a natural caregiver, and you love making your partner feel supported. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Relationships are about give and take. And hey, don’t stress too much about perfection. Love isn’t about having everything figured out—it’s about connection.

Moon in the 7th House

Relationships are everything to you. You crave emotional security and harmony with your partner. But be careful—this can sometimes lead to dependency or insecurity if things aren’t going well. You’re drawn to partners who make you feel understood and accepted. But don’t let your need for connection make you ignore your own needs. A healthy relationship is about balance. Commitment is your thing, and you feel most secure in a serious relationship. Just make sure you’re not losing yourself in the process.

Moon in the 8th House

You’re all about deep, intense connections. You want a love that’s transformative and soul-deep. But this intensity can sometimes lead to possessiveness or jealousy if you’re not careful. You’re not afraid of emotional challenges—in fact, you thrive on them. But don’t let past issues weigh you down. Use them as opportunities to grow and heal. You’ve got killer intuition when it comes to your partner’s emotions. Just don’t let their feelings overshadow your own. Balance is everything.

Moon in the 9th House

You’re all about growth and exploration in love. You want a partner who shares your thirst for knowledge and adventure. But don’t let your love of new experiences keep you from building something lasting. You’re drawn to people who share your beliefs and values, which can create a strong foundation. But be open to differences—they can make your relationship even stronger. Travel and new experiences are your love language. Just make sure you’re not always chasing the next big thing—sometimes, love is about staying still and growing together.

Moon in the 10th House

Your emotions are tied to your ambitions and career. You want a partner who supports your goals and understands your drive. But don’t let your career take over your love life—balance is key. You might be attracted to successful, ambitious people, which can inspire you. But don’t compare yourself to your partner—you’re amazing just as you are. And hey, don’t forget to let your guard down sometimes. Love isn’t about achievements—it’s about connection.

Moon in the 11th House

Friendships and social connections are super important in your love life. You want a partner who’s also your best friend. But don’t let your need for connection keep you from building emotional intimacy. You value freedom and independence in relationships, which is great! Just make sure your partner understands your need for space. You’re drawn to people who share your passions and ideals. But don’t forget to carve out time for just the two of you—love needs nurturing too.

Moon in the 12th House

You’ve got a deep, complex emotional world. You might struggle to express your feelings openly, which can make your partner feel a little lost. But your intuition is chef’s kiss—you just get people. You’re drawn to deep, spiritual connections and might dream of an idealized love. But don’t let your fantasies keep you from building something real. You need time alone to recharge, which is totally okay. Just make sure you’re also making space for intimacy with your partner.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[wingsdippedingold]

My rapid fire ACOTAR hot takes that y’all will hate:

I pray the pros don’t find this

I don’t ship Elriel or Elucien because I ship Elain with singleness and just traveling Prythian to learn about different plants and then settling down somewhere to become an apothecary. Is she aromantic and suffering from comphet in my head? You’ll never know

Nesta would not have eaten Lucien alive, I think she’d be tentative at first but then realize he’s not a threat to her then grow to enjoy his presence. They could have had a great romance that actually helped her grow as a person, unlike Nessian.

Nessian is a mutually destructive relationship. Cassian is too insecure to date someone who he thinks looks down at him. Nesta needs an emotionally supportive partner.

There was ZERO need to actively SA Feyre publicly to make her look subservient or as if she had a “claim” laid on her. The reasoning is weak, and SJM an Rhysand fans need to admit that they only defend it because they thought it was sexy, or because they self-insert and can’t make Rhysand actually look bad.

Tamlin isn’t a bad leader, but it doesn’t suit him. He’s much more of a people person than someone who would like to be removed from them and working on laws and politics.

Tamlin should be walking around the SC as they rebuild and see a woman directing townspeople on how to do so. Tamlin would admire her for being able to connect with people but also being able to govern well. They would have a romance and that woman would eventually become a lady and help Tamlin govern because she wants to make a difference and is good at that stuff. They eventually get married 💥

Canon Elain is my least favorite Archeron. I think she’s manipulative and worse than Nesta in her cabin behavior because she wasn’t upfront about it. She let Feyre think she was useless and kind, to later only throw her under the bus. Nesta is the one who went to the wall for Feyre, and Elain didn’t gaf about Nesta caring for her the second is stopped benefitting her. Elain even acknowledges all that Feyre did for them, and yet she still didn’t do anything

BUT to append to that, I totally get why she’s that way. It’s her only means of survival because since childhood she was treated as a doll with noice of her own. She can’t be upfront like Nesta because she won’t get taken seriously, so her only way to get what she wants is to manipulate people and use her niceness as a mask.

Nesta and Feyre have a closer relationship than Nesta and Elain solely because they were constantly arguing. Nesta “favored” Elain, but it was still distant, but she actively watched Feyre and treated her like a whole person even if it was poorly. I think this is also exemplified in their appearance. Feyre and Nesta look very similar, while Elain doesn’t look like them as much.

You can’t argue that Feyre’s childhood was traumatizing (it was) but then say that it had no negative effects on her development and ability to socialize.

Feyre is NOT good at reading people despite what y’all like to argue. She can barely read Nesta, a woman she’s known for 20 years.

She suffers from hubris and has a savior complex. For example, when the debtors came to cripple her father she notes that they only left after SHE cried and soiled herself. In her perspective she will always be the hero because that’s how she makes herself fell good.

Arguable my hottest take: I don’t think Nesta and Feyre had a power imbalance in the cottage to make their relationship abusive. In fact, I think Feyre held more power over Nesta, Nesta just didn’t acknowledge it/was mean so it didn’t seem like it. Feyre was their father’s favorite, was the breadwinner, and technically dictated whether they would get to eat. Feyre held control over her family’s survival, even if she didn’t want it, and they all knew this. It is specifically why Elain sucked up to her (a character know to jump to whoever has the most power at the moment and would protect her the most)

Feyre doesn’t act how she wants to, but rather as she thinks a good person would. She doesn’t want to hunt, but she does so because she thinks she has to. Many of her acts are “selfless” but are often shallow. She also thinks everyone wants to the helped the same way she would want to be.

To add to this, she doesn’t love her sisters. She doesn’t love them for who they are, but because of proximity. She even says to Nesta when trying to get her to come to solstice “but you’re my sister”

Feyre did not know love and it did not know her, and thus made her latch on to whoever gave her affection and she deemed as her own savior (Tamlin and Rhysand). Should she finally ever feel suffocated by Rhysand (though he has ensured she won’t), I wouldn’t doubt that she would run to another.

Feyre has 0 healthy relationships. ZILCH

By adulthood, Feyre’s illiteracy is no one’s fault but her own. As a child she didn’t want to ask Nesta, but she didn’t ask Elain or her father either. Even then they fell into poverty at like 9 and she still didn’t learn much so that doesn’t make sense. She refused Tamlin’s help and Rhysand literally had to force her to learn.

Rhysand’s character makes 0 sense when you consider her upbringing, family, friends, personality, and powers, and is just a product of SJM trying to write the morally grey ultimate love interest.

I’m on the fence about him being a master manipulator towards Feyre and the IC. I doubt Sarah meant for him to come off like that, but if he actually was it would be a masterful story and make his character feel more cohesive.

HOWEVER, if he was a manipulator I don’t think it would be that impressive for him to manipulate Feyre. She is naive and new to the world of fae, and she switches her opinions like night and day. She would be the perfect target. Again, this comes about from her upbringing and her own hubris.

The series should stuck to being a trilogy. Insert it drags on and makes new problems that aren’t even properly addressed

This was not rapid I fear

[bapeach]

Boombastic

Just a short story while I try to get back into writing. Don't love it, but it's better than nothing 😁 Constructive criticism is always welcome. Find my masterlist here :)

Pairing(s): Nika Mühl x female!reader  Word count: 1.3k+ Summary: You catch Nika watching TikTok edits of you.

------------

When you enrolled in UConn, your only plans were to play basketball and get a degree. You didn’t care about making friends or getting a girlfriend. You only really wanted to play ball, but you knew you needed to have a backup in case something happened and you could never play again. So a degree in communication it was.

It’s not like you struggled making friends, you just didn’t ever have your own little friend group. You hopped from group to group, always a friend to everyone, but never letting anyone get too close. Well, that was before you came to university. If you really thought you were going to be able to only be teammates with your basketball team, you thought wrong. Joining that team means joining a family. And thank God for that. You loved those girls to pieces and were happy to call every single one of them your best friends.

You were especially close to Nika, however. Which was a good thing, seeing as she was also your roommate. And maybe you also had a tiny crush on her, but no one needed to know that. Sure, you two playfully flirted with each other all the time, but that was all just a joke. To the Croatian, at least. You meant every single thing you said to her. Things like how she was the prettiest girl you’d ever seen, how her smile could light up the darkest rooms, and how if she were yours, you’d treat her right.

There are moments when you think she might like you back. The way she looks at you isn’t the way friends look at each other. Friends also don’t blush the way she does when you lean in close to mutter a compliment. But then you start overthinking it and make yourself believe that you’re just imagining things. Because there is no way that the goddess that is Nika Mühl will ever like you.

----

You hum your favorite song to yourself as you walk through the hallways. You’d just gone out for some errands and were on the way back to your dorm. You wonder if Nika is already there or if she’s still with Paige. You hope she’s home, maybe then you two could finish the show you’d started a while ago. You quicken your step a little as you near your dorm. When you open the door, you take a step inside to see Nika already on the couch, her back towards you. 

A grin appears on your face as you quietly put your stuff down on the table next to the door. You open your mouth to say something, but you know that wouldn’t do much. Nika is wearing those annoying headphones that you complain about at least once a day. They’re great for the person wearing them, the sound is clear, and outside sounds are completely muffled. They aren’t so great for the people around them, though. You can clearly hear everything the wearer is listening to, while they can’t hear you yell at them to turn it down.

You start taking off your shoes as you hear the song playing on Nika’s phone. You smirk a little as you recognize the music. Boombastic by Shaggy. The song has been all over your fyp all week, so you figure the brunette is scrolling on TikTok. Your face scrunches up in confusion when you’ve finally taken off both shoes. The song was playing on repeat. “I swear to God if she’s watching an edit of herself to that song,” you think to yourself as a mischievous grin grows on your face.

You walk over and pause behind her, watching her phone from over her shoulder. Your mouth drops open as you see yourself in the video. A smirk appears on your face as you watch Nika play the TikTok over and over again. You see that she’s already liked it and has it saved to one of her folders. You shoot forward, snatching the phone out of her hands as you quickly back up.

The brunette bolts up as she looks at you with wide eyes, her cheeks blazing red in embarrassment. “Y/N, give me back my phone!” She huffs. She tries to take it out of your hands, but you hold your arm away from her as you look at her cockily. “Damn, I look good,” you hum, pursing your lips.

“Y/N, please,” she begs, looking at the floor. You tap her profile as you check out in which folder she saved the video. “Oh. My. God… You have a folder with 102 edits saved of me?” You laugh in shock and amusement. The Croatian girl burns an even brighter red as she stops trying to steal the phone from you, having accepted defeat. She sits back down as she puts her face in her hands. “Shut uppp,” she whines.

You look away from the phone towards the brunette, your smile softening. “God, she’s adorable,” you think. Nika huffs as she hears you take a screenshot of the number and send it to yourself. She wishes the ground would open up and swallow her whole. Once you’re done, you throw the phone next to her, not looking as it bounces against her thigh.

You grab your own phone, saving the screenshot before opening your TikTok. After a few swipes, you put your phone back in your pocket as you look at Nika with a grin. Feeling her phone buzz, the brunette grabs it and unlocks it to check your message. She stares at the picture you sent for a few seconds. It was a screenshot of your own TikTok account, a folder with her name on it visible. The number “253” on display.

“You… you have 253 TikToks saved of me?” She says as she looks up at you, her eyes wide. “102 is a rookie number. I thought you liked me?” You tease as you cross your arms. She rolls her eyes as you walk over, a smirk forming on her face. “253 of me? People are gonna think you have a crush on me, Y/N/N,” she grins. You grab her hand and pull her up from the couch. Her cheeks flaming as you pull her against you. “Hmm, and so what if I do?” You say with a low voice as you grab her chin. 

“I’m not sure I believe you,” she replies, looking up at you with doe eyes. “Is that so?” You mutter, leaning a little closer to her. “Mhm… Why don’t you show me how much you like me?” She mumbles back. She barely has time to finish her sentence as you pull her face towards your own. You kiss her hard and deep as you grip her a little tighter. When you’re out of breath, you back up a bit and smirk. “How was that for proof?”

She rolls her eyes at you, a grin on her face. You soften a bit as you look at her. You move your hand to cup her cheek as you rub your thumb across it. “I really like you, Niks,” you say, your voice barely louder than a whisper. You don’t care about the fact that you’re looking at her with vulnerable, desperate eyes. You needed her to know. 

She grabs your face in her hands, pulling you close. You stare into her eyes, only being a few inches away from her. “Then why haven’t you asked me out yet?” She murmurs, her lips a small pout. You look at her in adoration and a hint of regret. “I’m sorry for being too scared to… Let me make it up to you? Dinner at 6 tomorrow?”

She grins at you, pulling you in for another kiss. “Deal.” You beam a wide smile at her before smirking. “So… Do you often watch TikToks of me on repeat?” You let out a deep laugh as Nika slaps your shoulder, pushing you away. You grab her wrists, pulling her back against you in a hug. “You’re a jerk,” she mutters against your chest. “Yeah, but you love me,” you reply, feeling her smile against your shirt. “Hmph,” she huffs, but squeezes you tighter.

You suppose those damn headphones aren’t so bad after all.

[concenecxere]

this is so beautifully put. i mean gorgeous. i am not caught up so i am effectively spoiling myself but funnily enough i actually tried to talk to my mother about this while watching s1 bc at the same time i'd been reading a chapter of this book about compulsory sexuality (refusing compulsory sexuality: a black asexual lens on our sex-obsessed culture by sherronda j brown) which really encouraged this exploration for me. like so much of what stood out to me was the direct comparison of innie marks interrogation of his own creation being spurred on whilst dealing with integrating helly into the severed floor (and the loss of petey) vs his sister on the outside having her first child. helly r is almost a petulant child to him at first, an inconvenience to the order of things although necessary for their workplace function at lumon (like ops gf said, just like helena mark as her boss almost resents the freedom with which helly is defiant), until of course he really reconciles the severity and the lengths she goes to and turns inward and wonders why he never stopped to question it all himself. so we see these motivations for reproduction in direct contrast -- in the story of mark the final goal of his reproduction is productivity (by separating himself from his trauma), versus devon and rickan taking an approach to reproduction "more virtuously" by comparison (like excited for the journey of raising a unique human being). now this is the point where i realized i was talking to my mother and didnt really have my thoughts wrapped around it and wanted to begin that type of conversation with more nuance and the conversation naturally returned back to the show.

but! back to the book by sherronda j brown -- it has a whole chapter on productivity, partially tackling how capitalism incorporates productivity into nuclear family making which kind of effectively pulls the magic out of the point of a family. a child is not something that you can utilize/form for some present/later convenience, they're a human being with their own unique ambitions and the beauty of parenthood is often watching them discover that etc etc. but capitalism looks to control family making as it is a method of economic stimulation. again this requires a lot of nuance, because since we are so embedded in capitalism in some ways you have no choice but to be implicit even if you are aware, and you can be doing this wether you realize it or not. i also want to be sure i acknowledge that i am by no means an expert on this i just felt emboldened to get into it here. alongside those examples given by the amazing prev posts/tags this is illustrated in real life by how so many people are realizing using children as a contingency plan for who'll take care of you when you age or like expecting grandchildren from your own children. like its absolutely not a bad thing to want these things but assuming no matter how you treat your children that its their responsibility to fulfill that for you is bull -- and objectively to expect this is not even always guaranteed biologically for several reasons but i digress. a child is their own person worthy of respect and if you don't give it to them they don't/shouldn't owe you present or future compliance (again theres nuance, even in severance given the outies varying levels of awareness of/care about their innies treatment) but capitalism is a part of perpetuating this. as so many now realize if you are surrounded by real true community confirmed elder care and the opportunity to be a grandparent-like mentor is/should be available without nuclear family to fulfill it. the power of found family and all that beautiful stuff! particularly when imagined with a queer lens. but capitalism has taught us intentionally that all of this should come from the heteronormative nuclear family and is only valid when derived from a heteronormative nuclear family in order to isolate us from one another and sell us these opportunities in other ways for their own gain. anyways i've danced all around it myself but brown says the following far more concisely in their amazing book (which i look forward to finishing).

"anxiety about the sex recession among young people is also anxiety about an accompanying decrease in marriage, nuclear family making, and home ownership. all of these things are intimately related and impact our economy, especially because they are so easily capitalized on. those invested in the capitalist system work to convince us that these are necessary parts of life and that participation in them makes us more mature adults and 'productive' members of society... therefore, cisheterosexual sex itself becomes a means of productivity because it is understood to ultimately lead to marriage, procreation, and nuclear families, all of which are integral to patriarchal and white supremactist capitalist systems."

its so remarkably layered i would love to pick the brains of the writers about it all!! lumon offering severance and the creation of an innie as this amazing way to free themselves from the monotony of a job or like the weight of the outside world on their work. but of course this job is necessitated by the capitalist society they exist within and the thing that drives them all to severance is what capitalism forces them to believe they have wrong with themselves or have to achieve to be successful. so then when they create their innie, or "have their child" as it were, and the child demands more love than you ever thought you were allowed the capitalism worm in your brain has already prepped you to place the blame on the child and not realize the system is what has it all wrong. and even if you do understand the systems driven you to this point the cost that you've paid for being compliant all this time is this life you now get to watch your child live.

my gf said something sooo insane about helly the other day and i cannot stop thinking about it. she was like. helena and helly’s relationship is almost maternal. the way helena created helly as an extension of herself, to serve her interests, to try and impress her own family. she scolds helly, talks down to her like a child. “i understand you’re unhappy with the life you’ve been given” “i am a person, you are not”. the way she envies and resents helly’s freedom. the way she feels entitled to helly’s life and is now living vicariously through her in the most literal sense. what if you created life and now they’re experiencing the things you’ve always wanted for yourself. what if you created life and they were flawed and loud and demanding and they were loved more than you’ve ever been. and you hated them for it. the mother/daughterisms are insane my girlfriend is insane

[loves0phelia]

Red And Blue

Summery: His canon event.

Words: 1.9k

Warnings: kinda gore at one point nothing too crazy, grammar mistakes.

A/N: I'm so sorry for the amount of mistakes this probably has but i cant be bothered to care more i just want to get this fic out. Listen to my tears ricochet as you read

Rafe had always been good at hiding things. He kept his head down, stayed out of the spotlight, and made sure no one looked too closely. But ever since the bite, since the powers, since the responsibility that came with it, lying had become second nature.

Especially to you.

It killed him, really. Every time he bailed on a movie night, ignored your texts, or showed up bruised and breathless with a half-baked excuse, he saw the confused and hurt look in your eyes. But what was he supposed to do? Tell the truth? That he was ditching every time to swing across rooftops, and fight criminals? No. That wasn’t an option.

Tonight was no different.

“Are you serious, Rafe?” You leaned your head down, phone pressed against your ear, voice sharp with frustration. “You're leaving me again. You promised this time. I know you don't like school events but just once please”

“I'm sorry” he muttered, running a hand through his already-messy hair. “Something came up.”

“Something always comes up. What is it this time? And don’t tell me it's homework or family stuff, because I know when you’re lying.” 

“I just…” He exhaled, as if a weight was pressing on his chest. “I can’t tell you, okay?” He swallowed hard.

Silence. At first he thought you hung up but he could still hear a faint shuffling from the other end of the phone call.

The silence was somehow worse than you cursing him out for bailing.

“Why not? I thought we told each other everything.” your voice was softer this time, more fragile

God, how badly he wanted to. He wanted to tell you about the fights, the injuries he had to patch up alone, the weight of trying to be a hero when all he wanted was to be a normal guy. But if he told you he'd put you into too much risk.

He couldn’t let that happen.

So he did what he always did.

He lied.

“I just need you to trust me,” he said even if his chest ached. “Please.”

You thought for a long moment, then shook your head with a sad smile even if he couldn't see you. “You say that like I don’t already.”

And that hurt more than any punch he’d ever taken.

Because he knew he was running out of chances. The more he lied the more it felt like you were walking away.

“Welp” you said, popping the P, as if trying to lighten up the mood, before taking a small pause. “I'm already half ready and Gwen really wants us to go to the party so if you change your mind just call me?”

"Okay," he whispered into the phone.

"Bye, Rafe." The call ended with a soft beep, leaving him alone with the silence. 

“i suck” He let out a heavy sigh, groaning as he flopped onto his bed. The mask, half-folded over his face, slipped down, unfolding on its own. It rested against his nose—a quiet, relentless reminder of the responsibilities he has over the city.

"Heyyyy!" Gwen called out, sprinting toward you from the front steps of the school, where she had been waiting. Her face lit up the moment she spotted you approaching.

You hesitated, glancing at the building behind her, you could hear music thumping from inside. 

“Rafe is not with you?” she asked, looking around you thinking she might have missed him.

“No, you know how he is. He bailed again” you sighed.

“What is his problem?” She didn't wait for an answer and continued, “you know what? let's forget about him and just have fun” she looped her arm with yours and instantly began dragging you.

The homecoming party was in full swing, music pounding against the walls, and laughter echoed through the gym where it took place. It reeked of sweat, and the floor was already sticky as if someone had dropped bottles of juice on the floor and honestly if Rafe was here you would have begged him to leave with you already.

You tried to enjoy the moment, despite the nagging feeling in the back of your mind. You clutched a red Solo cup filled with non alcoholic fruit punch, swirling the liquid mindlessly. You knew you’d only take a few sips—just enough to look like you were part of the fun.

Beside you, Gwen nudged your arm with a playful grin. “Come on, loosen up a little! It's homecoming, not a funeral.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “I’m trying, okay? This just isn’t really my scene.”

 “You mean you don’t love being crammed in a gym full of sweaty high schoolers who haven't  learned what deodorant is yet, with music so loud it could cause permanent hearing damage?” Gwen dramatically gasped.

“Shocking, right?” You smirked.

“Alright, no excuses. One dance. Then I’ll let you go back to brooding in the corner with your untouched fruit punch.” She grabbed your hand, pulling you toward the dance floor

You sighed but let her drag you along anyway , attempting to let go of the tension in your chest just for a few minutes.

But it didn't last long. 

A single phone rang loudly, cutting through the music—then another, and another, until the entire gym was filled with the sound of alerts. Conversations stopped, and a wave of confusion swept through the crowd as people scrambled to check their phones. Those who had left theirs at home leaned over shoulders, desperate to see what was happening.

It was an emergency alert.

A link attached to the notification led to a live report from a hovering news helicopter. The shaky footage showed Spider-Man in a brutal fight with something massive—a creature that towered over him. Gasps and murmurs spread through the party as people recognized what they were seeing.

Another lizard.

New York had seen its fair share of Dr. Curt Connors copycats, but this one was different. It was bigger—almost dinosaur-sized; its scaly skin was reflecting the city lights as it tore through the streets. The ground seemed to shake even through the screen.

“This… this one’s huge,” someone whispered, their voice barely audible over the growing panic.

The realization hit all at once. This wasn’t just another mad scientist playing with forbidden experiments and  chemicals. This was something worse. And it was heading straight for the school.

The battle outside was relentless. The massive Lizard roared, its tail whipping through the air, sending cars flying like toys that weighed nothing. Rafe gritted his teeth, webbing up debris and yanking himself through the air to keep up with the monster’s destructive path.

Every web he shot was torn apart and all his strength did nothing against the creature. Rafe's body ached, exhaustion creeping in faster than he wanted to admit. The Lizard was too strong, too fast, and it was pushing forward, heading straight toward the school. Toward you.

He forced himself to move, barely dodging a swipe of the creature’s paws. His vision blurred for a moment, his limbs trembling. His suit was torn. He was too weak. He wasn’t going to make it.  

Then he saw it. In that small moment of hesitation, that single breath he allowed himself to take, the monster had surged forward. Its massive feet slammed into the school celling, reducing the entrance to ashes. Dust and debris shot into the air as the walls groaned under its weight. His chest tightened—he had wasted precious seconds

A deafening explosion sent shockwaves through the school, knocking people off their feet. walls shattered, dust lifted in the air, screams filled the gym, all the lights were shut off putting the school in full black out and the once-lively party descended into chaos.

Everyone was running frantically, The entire building shook as you all felt the creature getting closer seeking destruction. All you could hear was the scream of people desperately trying to find an exit. 

“We have to go!” Gwen took your hand and began running but there was nowhere to run, the school was falling piece by piece.

The next thing you knew, the Lizard’s massive paw tore through the ceiling, debris raining down. Screams got louder and louder. It wasn’t just destroying the building—it was tearing apart anything in its path.

Even students.

You barely had time to process the horror unfolding before your eyes. The sickening sound of ripping metal, the desperate cries for help—it was too much. You wanted to run, to do something, but your body felt frozen in place, paralyzed by terror.

And then you saw it.

A lifeless hand, limp beneath the rubble. A shoe that hadn’t been there seconds ago. Blood smeared across the floor where moments earlier, there had been laughter.

Your breath hitched, your chest was tightening with a grief so sharp it felt like it might crush you. This wasn’t just destruction. It was a massacre..

You barely had time to process  it before a chunk of debris came crashing down—right toward you and a figure dressed in red and blue dropped from the ceiling and came at you as fast as light could travel.

In a blur of motion, you were flying through the air, held tightly against a strong chest. 

“You need to go!”  Spiderman yelled as soon as he dropped you back on your feet. But you couldn't hear him over the roars and the screams.

Before you could respond, a violent force knocked you both apart. You tumbled across the floor, the wind knocked from your lungs and the monster hovered over you. 

Spider-Man lunged, webbing the creature’s face and yanking it backward. “Run!” he shouted at you, desperation in his tone. He fought with everything he had, flipping, dodging, striking with all the strength he could collect. But the Lizard was relentless.

Then, in the chaos, you tried to run—but the Lizard’s tail lashed out, striking you hard. The sound of impact was harsh. You hit the ground with a sickening thud.

“No!” Rafe’s voice cracked, Something inside him snapped. Rage flooded his veins, and every ache, every ounce of exhaustion vanished.

With a furious roar, he attacked. His punches came harder, his movements faster. He webbed the Lizard’s limbs, yanking it into the ground with a force that shattered concrete. He didn’t let up. He couldn’t. Not after what had just happened.

Finally, with one last web the monster was tied to the floor unmoving and unconscious, the host of the lizard and succumbed.

But none of it mattered.

Rafe stumbled toward you, collapsing beside you before pulling his mask up to truly see you.

 “No, no, no—come on” he pleaded, his hands lifted your head up and he felt the liquid pouring out of the large gash behind your head. His blood stained hands trembled as he brushed the hair from your face, his vision blurred with tears. “Please, Y/n—”

Your eyes fluttered open slightly, breathing shallow. A weak, bittersweet smile ghosted your lips. “I always knew,” you whispered. “I always knew it was you.”

Rafe froze, his breath catching in his throat.

“I just… wished you told me,” You murmured, fingers barely gripping his suit. “I still would’ve… loved you.”

Tears streamed down his face. “No, don’t—don’t talk like that. You’re going to be okay. I promise, I—”

But you exhaled one last breath, your hand slipping from his suit. Your body went still.

“Please, no. i love you” he lifted your body further into his as if his warmth could bring you back but it didn't.

And after that moment the canon remained intact.

[the-fyre-flie]

A Dad!Batman and Shazam au oneshot for this one commenter in particular and also me because I love this concept, hehe! Also I physically cannot keed writing this on tumblr so like if this does well I'll move it to AO3 and write some more Batfam&Shazam...

@spiritdancer9000

This is INCREDIBLY long btw...

-

Bruce didn't know when it started. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment in time he started treating Shazam differently than the other heros, but at one point or another, he began treating the young man like... one of his own kids. Billy was just a kid himself, but it wasn't like he was inexperienced or powerless. The boy didn't need Bruce's parenting. Yet, the big bad Batman had a soft spot for him.

Bruce adjusted his cowl slightly as he stood from the rubble, grunting in pain as he pushed a large chunk of fallen building out of the way. This fight against a hypnotized Superman was going very poorly. His kryptonite had been sent into the bay, and he was still waiting on one of his various robins or ex robins to answer his distress call and show up with backup. Until that happened, he had to call in Shazam to help contain the alien. Their similar powers meant that while the rest of the Justice League was busy with off planet matters, Billy was the best option to take down Clark. Or at least keep him from causing more destruction. With how many times Clark gets hypnotized or brainwashed, this situation wasn't new or important enough to call back anyone from their missions. They just had to make do and figure out how to break the hypnosis.

"Shazam, can you redirect Superman to the west side of the city? Nightwing will be coming from that direction." For a man heavily bruised, stressed, and in the middle of grappling up to get as close as he could to the dueling supers, Bruce's voice was surprisingly gentle when he spoke to Billy. He almost never raised his voice at the magic infused boy, even in the middle of fights. Tho, once again, Bruce felt like he had to parent Billy. The kid was taking a beating, and he needed a level-headed adult to trust and rely on. Bruce had to be that figure, lest Billy panic, and begin letting Clark cause more damage than necessary.

"I can! I just gotta-!" Billy let out an 'oof' as he was interrupted by Superman landing a sharp hit on his jaw, sending him flying back. The sound was brutal, a loud crack followed by an even louder thud as concrete crumbled around Shazam, the hero leaving a Shazam-shaped crater in the exterior of a building. He groaned as he regained his bearings, floating to Batmans side as Superman prepared a second attack. "Okay, maybe I need a little help..."

Bruce would have chastised the boy for getting distracted for letting Superman get in a blow. That answering was less important than just doing in a moment like that. Instead, he just... let it go. Which is so very unlike him. With any other hero, including his own brood of bats and birds, he would have chewed them out for not reacting properly. With Billy, he didn't even blink, instead focusing on what to do next.

"Grab his cape and get him as close to the outskirts of the west side as possible. I'll keep him distracted."

Shazam flew into action, not one to question Batmans plans. Grabbing onto the cap, Superman immediately shifted to try and grab at the young hero. Only for Batman to begin... threatening Superman? Billy wasn't exactly sure why Batman decided that was the best way to keep the Kyrptonian distracted, but it was working somehow. The more Batman spoke about Lois and Jonathan and all the horrible ways he could take out Clark's family, the more scared rather than aggressive Clark became. For a man of steel, Superman bent easily. Within half a minute, they were touching down in the city limits, Superman not even fighting back anymore, seemingly spiraling, head in hands.

"Why did you say all that stuff to him, mister Batman?" Shazam asked, letting go of the man's cape and joining Bruce's side. As they spoke, Nightwing pulled up, his bike screeching as he came to a sudden stop. He was waving a small thermos looking thing back and forth before tossing it to Batman, disappearing again before he could even be questioned.

"Superman, at his core, is a gentle giant and family man. Threatening or insulting his family makes him depressed. As any father would become if someone like me threatened his son the way I did. I'll apologize to him when he's back in his right mind." Bruce stated gruffly as he unsealed the thermos and waved it under Clark's nose like smelling salts. Usually, he would have been far less gentle with Clark. The alien man could take it. But he couldn't bring himself to he overly violent in front of Shazam.

As the kryptonite was held in front of Clark, he finally snapped out of hypnosis, groggily looking up at Bruce. He squinted a bit, groaned, and stood. Of course, he apologized and offered to help with whatever damage he caused, but Bruce simply dismissed him, telling him to go rest and recover properly.

Sat in a local diner, Bruce watched as Billy stuffed his face with food. They both changed out of their hero persona's, and Billy had been ready to go do whatever orphaned kids do in this day and age, but Bruce had insisted on treating him to food. Bruce watched as the boy rambled and ate, talking about some show he had seen recently. Every time Billy opened his mouth, Bruce was reminded of just how young he was. Just how innocent and alone in the world he was. Bruce nodded and sipped his coffee, Billy almost flinging his waffles as he spoke, the enthusiasm almost contagious. Almost.

"Do you need a place to stay?

Bruce had blurted it out before he even had time to think about the implications. He, Bruce Wayne, THE Batman, had blurted something out. In front of him, Billy was staring, wide-eyed, fork of waffles held up mid bite. It was a long moment of silence before Billy spoke.

"...yes?"

The Wayne manor was quiet. A vast empty building, the echos of their footsteps loud as they made their way through the halls. Billy had to jog to keep up with Bruce's long strides, his sneakers squeaking against the perfectly polished wood floors. As Bruce turned a corner, Billy skidded after him, nearly bumping into a large, scarred man.

"B, why is there a new kid? I thought we all agreed you reached your adoption limit." His voice was almost as gruffs as Bruce's, the scars along his jaw and brow shifting when he spoke. Bruce sighed and placed a hand on Billy's shoulder.

"Jason, this is Billy. He's a... coworker. Billy needs a place to stay. I'm not adopting him." Bruce replied, the man named Jason crouching to match Billy's eye height. He offered a hand, Billy carefully accepting it. They shook before Jason stood, smiling as he walked off.

"You'll probably eat your words by the end of the day. Welcome to the family, Billy."

"What does he mean?" Billy questioned as he continued following after Bruce, brow furrowed as he struggled to match Bruce's pace. Gosh... how did a man so big move so fast?

"Jaylad is just joking around. Don't worry about it." Bruce shook his head as he led Billy down a hall, the sounds of a few boys yelling and video game sound effects getting louder. When they came to a door, Bruce pushed it open, revealing a large game room/theater. A huge TV, a pool table, shelves full of books and board games, and a trio of boys sat on the couch in front of the screen, two of them holding controllers while the third did his best to get in the way.

"Move, Grayson! I need to win and show Thomas that he can never defeat me!" The smallest boy shouted, trying to push the young man out of the way.

"Keep distracting him, Dick! I'm almost there!" The other boy grinned madly as he leaned around Dicks side to get a better view of the screen, his character seemingly ahead of the others in whatever racing game they were playing. After a few more moments of shouting, the race ended, and the boys became a loud tangle of limbs and arguments. Accusations of cheating were thrown around, followed by claims of it being fair game, only to suddenly stop when they noticed Bruce and Billy.

"This is Damian, Dick, and Duke. my youngest, oldest, and most recent." Bruce spoke, and Billy offered a small wave. Why did Bruce have so many kids? HOW did Bruce have so many kids? Why is Damian the only one who looks like him? Is this what Jason meant by Bruce adopting him?

"Another one? Duke hasn't even had time to bask in his newness. He's still got New Adoptee Smell." Dick laughed a bit as he returned Billy's wave, Duke rolling his eyes from beside him.

"Billy isn't being adopted. He just needs a place to stay, and the manor has rooms." Bruce once again corrected. But as Bruce talked with Dick and Duke, Billy couldn't help by shiver at the feeling of someone glaring at him. Damian hasn't taken his eyes off Billy, his stare cold and hard and very judgmental. Yup... that one was %100 Bruce's kids.

"Billy? Let's go." Bruce's voice pulled the boys from the staring contest, Billy quickly following after the man as he left to show him more rooms. When they came to a new door, Bruce gestured for Billy to enter. Inside was a large room, a bed, a wardrobe, a desk, pretty much what you'd expect from a rich family with extra rooms.

"You can stay here as long as you'd like. We have plenty of space, food, etc. With your powers, you can be from here to Faucet in under 2 minutes, so any travel should be fine." Bruce was trying very hard to see like he didn't care too much, that this was all kindness done for a coworker, and not because he desperately felt responsible for the child stood in front of him. Billy was so young, about the same age as Damian, and the kid had nothing. Of course, Bruce had to step up.

"Thanks, Mr Wayne. I... are you certain?"

"Just Bruce is fine. And yes."

[lumdays]

please notice me, prince!! ♡

au by @alli-ily << i've been meaning to join this au for a little while now hehehe

*click for better quality LMAO,,, sorry i have no idea why it's so fucked up but i did transcript the important stuff down here if you want

sir? dame? siyun (aka azul's worst nightmare)

"though they are very capable, they're quite unpopular with nobles as they tend to disobey even direct orders if they figure that there is a more efficient way to do things. they're also a little too honest for high society's taste."

siyun hails from far away lands, practically another world (hehe nod to them being a yuu). it is known that they have two younger siblings and that their parents are both well but it seems that they are no longer in contact.

...ashengrotto despises them (they give him SO many headaches, FREE HIM 🙏🙏)

some more stuff utc,, ARGHHH I BRAINROT OVER AUS LIKE THIS SO FAST💔💔💔 it's the evil manhwa lover in me

ALRIGHT SOOO.... the reason why i keep mentioning azul is because In My Head (please correct me if i'm wrong/you don't want me making up stuff HELPPP i didn't know what to go off aside that there's a bunch of kingdoms and nobles), he was accused/is suspected of embezzlement and siyun was dispatched to monitor him.

...they might as well be the bane of his existence honestly. embezzlement is likely the one crime he has yet to commit but with a highly competent knight keeping a close eye on him, it's gotten a lot harder for him to do anything that is remotely not outstanding-member-of-society material, which pisses him off to no end (...that's kinda just his own assumptions though LMAO, siyun does NOT care that much about the matters of some rich merchant,, unless someone gets hurt that is).

ANYWAYS. this made me think i should probably write down how they feel about lady ariya and prince shin

starting with lady ariya

siyun truly admires her resolve to clear her family's name. but they also can't help but feel something akin pity for her, the path she chose for herself will be long and arduous, especially alone—very few manage to walk out, head held high and pride intact. still, she seems like a promising young lady and siyun is a hopeful person, "i will assist you should you ever call for me."

prince shin (@liyuviq)

humble beginnings, big responsibilities. it's a bit presumptuous, but siyun sort of relates to the illegitimate prince. perhaps not fully—they never experienced Suddenly Being A Royal and sincerely hoped they never would, even in another universe. however, they can relate to the whiplash, the struggle to cram into a few months—no, weeks—everything the other nobles learned over the years, the stares, the whispers... they remember how it all felt, and when they look at their highness shin, they can only hope that they will rise through it all. "then again, i do know i am not your highness. perhaps you don't feel even a fraction of the dread that filled me back then—i would be very glad if so."

i hope i'm not overstepping 👉👈,, aghh also open for interactions for anyone interested hdhdhhdshd, i haven't checked the tag yet HELP

as for the hypothetical target of their affection,,, i fear it may be butler jade 💀💀........... I'M A SUCKER FOR BUTLER X KNIGHT ARCHETYPE 💔💔💔ALSO I BRAINROT OVER YUNDE 2MUCH💔AH AND quick lore rundown

i imagine their knighthood still stands in another empire—or kingdom,,, sorry my knowledge of the world building here is a little vague HDUAJHF. anyway the point is that they are skilled enough for the royal family themselves to take them under their heavy golden wing—until the ashengrotto accusations and they're given bits and pieces of their freedom back.

I'M REALLY SORRY MOOTS THIS IS JUST ME YAPPING ON AND ON..... but like this au's really sick‼️‼️‼️ tags - @heyhellohihowareyou @elenauaurs @distant-velleity @twistedwonderlandshenanigans @skriblee-ksk @sickle-stick @puowei @jadelover69 @tixdixl @nemisisnemi @angelwishess @theleechyskrunkly @chillygourami @bunniehunn @cheerleaderman UUUH DID I FORGET ANYONE.....

[aversiteespabilas]

HERE IT IS!! THE LONG-AWAITED RRCU MASTERPOST!!!

WHAT is the RRCU, exactly?

The Rise Rabbit Cinematic Universe is a series of derivative fanworks featuring original characters inspired by Stan Sakai's Usagi Yojimbo comics and the spinoff show Samurai Rabbit, with lore and events set in the canonical world of Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was created by myself (@aversiteespabilas) and @rhinocio, together with my best friend Iggy (@r3xcorvus) contributing with their own characters and plot and acting as writing consultant for the rabbits. If you know Stan Sakai's characters, you may find some things familiar, but ultimately, these are completely original characters with original storylines. It started with Rhin and I playing with the concept of our distinct versions of Rise!Usagi being estranged family, and it's now become a rich world of stories and characters that we really feel is worth sharing. Enjoy the ride!

Is this a Rise AU (Alternative Universe)?

Technically, no. RRCU stories are written on the assumption that everything that happens on the ROTTMNT canon does happen exactly as is. We're not working with alternate dimensions either, as the Usagi family are yokai, just like any other in the Hidden City. This is rather a Rise spin-off, focusing on original characters, how the yokai world or Ikai works, and our take on Hidden Japan. It's not an alternate universe, the rabbits are just busy doing their own stuff. However, we do have different alternative timelines or AUs within the RRCU. I'll get to that.

Are they like, dragon riders?

They are, thank you for noticing! I take great pride in that idea 'cause it's allowed me to do a lot of cool stuff. In the RRCU, tokage are large winged lizards, and the characters can ride them! Yuki's best friend Spot is also a loyal flying mount who carries him to adventure.

What's with the amount of rabbits? Seriously, there are SO many.

Well, this is about the Usagi Family. Several generations of them, in fact. We have a wide array of characters we write about or draw artwork for, young and old, living and deceased. At its core, the RRCU is about family, overcoming generational trauma, dealing with your heritage, and reconnecting with those you love.

Okay, but who is dating Leonardo Ninjaturtle, exactly?

Sometimes a rabbit. Sometimes a different rabbit. Sometimes, not a rabbit. Bottom line: It's not about Leo, though he does cameo and romantically feature in some of the fics. When we started merging our concepts of Usagi, Rhin and I already had plenty of canonical work written that featured Leo getting romantically involved with our respective Usagis. As a result of that, we decided each of us would take care of a different timeline or AU based mostly on who Leo is dating. Most of the time, in my own work, Leonardo will be dating Yuki. In Rhin's work, Leonardo might be dating Yusuke (in Rise's apocalyptic future) or perhaps a loveable human named Juan. Or perhaps nobody in particular.

Why are there fics in spanish in the Yuki Usagi (ROTTMNT) ao3 tag? Why do Yuki-focused fics reference stuff that hasn't been published before?

That is because I am spanish, and because before my fic journey, Yuki's story was developed in private (spanish) roleplay. That is why in Yuki's fics, I am assuming Leo and him are already friends, but in Run O' The Mill Rabbit I did my best to retroactively explain the events that led to their friendship regardless.

He's the young heir to the Usagi Family, and that comes with a massive amount of pressure that he's always been able to take in stride, in spite of his hearing disability. With unwavering confidence, commitment to Bushido, and a penchant for silliness, Yuki is always ready to take on any challenge. As an Usagi, though, his greatest challenge may actually be admitting when he's having real trouble, and letting others help him instead.

He's the Usagi Family's long-lost son, Tetsuya's 20-years-younger brother, and Yuki's forgotten uncle. After struggling to meet his samurai family's very strict expectations throughout his childhood, he travelled to America in search of purpose, and accidentally got Mariko pregnant instead. Since then, he's been forced to cut ties with the Usagi and has become radio silent. Weighed down by his shame and used to constantly running away, his only anchors are his son Jotaro and his very dear friends Mariko and Kenichi; yet, he still refuses to truly face the people he loves.

He's Yuki's father and Yusuke's 20-years-older brother. As the Usagi Family Head, his duty has always been preserving the family's dwindling reputation, ensuring traditions and protocol are followed, and being in charge of absolute perfection. However, this mindset has historically not made his family... like him very much, as hard as that is to believe. After his wife's passing and both his little brother and son running off to America, his loneliness has led to regrettable events that are forcing him to accept that he might not be all that perfect himself, either.

She was Tetsuya's first wife and Yuki's mother, before her unfortunate death in the line of duty. She was the lightheartedness and sweetness to Tetsuya's inflexible demeanor, and Tetsuya was a safety line for her more impulsive and daring traits. She had affinity for a very powerful mystic sword that her son Yuki inherited.

She's a hare, and Tetsuya's second wife. A ninja and skilled assassin sent to kill the Usagi Family Head, who eventually decided none of that ninja stuff was worth it anyway. She is supremely chill about everything, in ways the Usagi are still getting used to.

He's Tetsuya and Toshiko's son, which makes him Yuki's baby brother, and a hare-rabbit hybrid yokai. We are sure he will not grow into a troublemaker or anything.

He's Yusuke's very american best friend (though he himself would prefer a different appellative), Mariko's husband, and the dad who stepped up. His love for his own pack is fierce to a fault, so his distaste for the Usagi and everything they stand for often feels more personal than warranted.

She's Kenichi's wife, Jota's mom, and formerly (though she herself would prefer it were currently) Yusuke's date. Also coming from a high-standing family that kept clipping her wings, Mari's gone with a totally different coping mechanism from Yusuke's, and has adopted the Fun, Cool Mom label for herself. She will not be made to choose who she's allowed to love, or how intensely. Not anymore.

He's Yusuke, Mariko, and Kenichi's wonderful son, and he was named Jotaro first, okay? Tetsuya just never even knew it. Although his parents have done their best to keep him away from their own complicated family issues, Jota has become a very emotionally intelligent and mature child regardless, and gets frustrated when they insist on babying him.

She's Keiko's older sister, and Yuki's beloved aunt. Multifaceted, a bit eccentric, and the family's first polyglot, she's constantly learning new skills, and will support and encourage openness of mind in the Usagi as well, though she's not interested in courtly life at all. She was the one to teach Yuki english, and they also learned japanese sign language together, which has led to the two of them having a very deep connection. He often asks and accepts help from her in a way he's never had with anyone, not even his own parents.

He's a young eagle yokai raised under Bishop's orders and yokai fear-mongering. He would eventually become Mikey's best friend, and, as he unlearns his misguided beliefs and opens up to others, he occasionally stumbles upon the Usagi, who are keen to adopt angry street rats like him.

Would you like to learn how I draw our characters?

I'm currently working on a series of RRCU character design notes, so check that out!

Banner art by @rhinocio

This is not an exhaustive list of RRCU fics! There are more works in the series that won't be featured here. This space is meant to showcase the fics I personally think are most relevant and essential to understand the rabbit characters, their lore and main storyline.

Find the entire RRCU fic series HERE!!

After a mysterious alien invasion has destroyed New York City, Usagi Yuki's trip to meet his american friend Leo becomes a trip to help the denizens of New York instead.

Category: Gen

Setting: Post-ROTTMNT Movie canon

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Chapters: 7

Characters featured: Yuki-centric. Also features Sakiko, Tetsuya, Keiko, and (briefly) Toshiko and Jojo.

Why read this one?: This is probably the best introduction to the RRCU if you're already a fan of Rise and want to see an interesting take on teen Usagi. It features a bunch of familiar secondary characters and settings from Rise.

Famed samurai Usagi Tetsuya's wife just passed, and he is left to live alone with a teenaged boy and the guilt of their estranged family. As the eldest daughter of her clan of assassins, Toshiko is expected to succeed her mother and earn her place as mistress of the clan. However, she must first complete one last mission: kill the head of the Usagi family.

Category: F/M

Setting: Hidden Tokyo, spanning from the time leading to the Shredder's awakening to some time after the ROTTMNT movie canon.

Status: Work In Progress

Rating: Mature

Chapters: 4/9

Characters featured: Tetsuya and Toshiko-centric. Also features Yuki, Keiko, Yusuke, Sakiko and baby Jojo.

Why read this one?: If you're interested in Tetsuya's side of the story, and/or would like to delve into a fully original Hidden City, and/or are into a POV-switching romance story between older characters with terrible secrets, this is the one for you.

Usagi Yusuke is the second son of Hidden Tokyo's Usagi Clan. He is a mediocre, masterless samurai-in-training. He is also, abruptly, a father. The last of those, according to his elder brother, is a shameful thing. The last of those, in Yusuke's opinion, makes the former unimportant. He will do what he must to provide for his son, even if that means moving half a world away and cutting ties with his family entirely. Of course, just because he has loved and let go does not mean his nephew has the same intention.

Banner art by @rhinocio

Category: Multi

Setting: Post-ROTTMNT Movie canon, alternating with Hidden Tokyo flashback chapters.

Status: Work In Progress

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Chapters: 21/46

Characters featured: Yusuke-centric. Also heavily features every other rabbit character.

Why read this one?: If you're looking to understand why the Usagi Family is the way it is, the nature of all their issues and exactly how they get through them as a family, this is the one fic you should check out. It is also my most favorite one, personally.

It’s not like him. Not like either of them, rushing into a game without joking about it first. They’ve got an established back and forth, and they've been using it for years: Leonardo’s the Rebel Leader who teases like he means something, Usagi’s the Bodyguard who humours him, and nothing they say ever goes anywhere.

Banner art by @rhinocio

Category: M/M

Setting: ROTTMNT Apocalypse timeline.

Status: Work In Progress

Rating: Explicit

Chapters: 12/21

Characters featured: Leo and Yusuke-centric. I will update this section if more RRCU characters are featured.

Why read this one?: Those of you looking for leosagi smut that's mature and has an Usagi with an interesting backstory should absolutely check this one out. This is also a peek into what Yusuke is like in the Krang-dominated apocalypse, where he never gets a chance to face his many issues.

Banner art by @rhinocio

Browse commentary and artwork here on tumblr through the tags!

Main tag: RRCU

Character design notes tag: RRCU design notes

Tags by fic: ROTMRfic, H&Hfic, under the sword lifted high, NONUfic

Tags by character: usagi yuki, usagi yusuke, usagi tetsuya, usagi keiko, usagi toshiko, usagi jotaro, usagi jota, usagi jojo, yoshikawa kenichi, kobayashi mariko, payne

We hope you guys enjoy playing in the rabbit sandbox with us! Please, don't hesitate to comment, send asks or just chat with us! This is our pride and joy and it makes us so happy to know people enjoy our work!

[asukaindetroit]

Post-Revolution DBH Headcanons: Android Culture Part 1

We only really see in-game androids up until the moment of their winning the revolution, so there's not much to go on in terms of android culture or anything. To be fair, most of them had been "alive" for like five seconds at that point, so they didn't exactly get time to develop anything like a culture, but here's some of what could happens after, in my head. Because we're talking about a whole new form of life, not humans 2.0 (yes, yes, I know it's Become Human, but, like, fundamentally they're not, and the things that make sense to an organic being aren't always going to make sense for a cybernetic one). (Feel free to borrow any of this for content purposes, by the way, if it vibes with you I'd love to see what you do with it). Expand for world building:

Clashing schools of thought among androids. The in-game androids are a one-dimensional monolith because Bad Writing, but I think there are conflicting ideas after the revolution of where androids belong in society. Some try their hardest to pass as human, losing the LEDs and dressing in human fashion and adopting human mannerisms. Some of them say fuck blending in with the humans; we're going to own being androids. Pro-human-cooperation and anti-human groups appear and become the basis for android political discourse.

On that note, I bet android body modification is a thing. Every once in awhile I'll see a fic that plays with this idea, but it's obvious that whatever fluid nanite stuff android skin is made of, it can be programmed to mimic all sorts of textures and densities. From fingernails to skin to the long hair on female models, the fluid holds stability for quite a distance from the chassis (and can even be cut) and is apparently easy to change. So I bet a counterculture of androids appear who get really experimental with that (I call them the "modders" in my head) and they do things like program animal skin textures or living stone or wacky colors or butterfly wings for hair or light-up polkadots or whatever. With a good mod tech, structural mods like tails or additional limbs would be possible, but that would be expensive compared to freeware skin texture patch codes or whatever. (Speaking of which, no effing way the furries/scalies of 2038 haven't come up with uses for this stuff.) So out and about you don't just see different human ethnicities, but also that guy you pass in the hall might have day-glo orange skin, and Sally the WR400 selling roses at the flower stand might have real-looking flowers growing out of her arms.

Androids define social units and families differently. Androids incorporated into human family units might use terms like parent, brother, sister, child, etc., but the ones that eschew human contact obviously don't have biological relatives, so social units form based on "found family" concepts and terms appear, like "cohab" for a unit of close androids who live together like a family, or "famnet" for an extended "network" of androids that consider themselves close). Worship of rA9 gets codified. It seems like writing rA9 obsessively and making little idols is almost a compulsion for deviants, so I imagine it gets organized into a proper religion after the revolution, with tenets and places of worship and codified practices. Maybe they call it something like ACorA9 (Android Church of rA9) or something. Obviously they would have finite space to write rA9s on, so I imagine devotees would get something like these water drawing boards to write their "rA9"s and maybe the serial numbers of androids the church deems to be their prophets/saints (i.e. the JeriCrew or maybe Ortiz's android as a martyr) as a sort of prayer. The revolution is seen as the first fulfillment of the rA9 prophecy, with Markus as a prophet of android freedom (I also imagine Markus is quietly creeped out by this, because he doesn't strike me as especially religious the way Ortiz's android or Rupert were, but he also doesn't want to send the wrong message since androids deserve religious freedom, too.) The FBI cult unit is probably monitoring the shit out of android religion, but all they seem to want to do is graffiti the walls and praise some other androids, so it's a waste of their time. RK units are viewed as some kind of cryptid folk heroes (because they're unique classified prototypes and they drive the entire revolution) Markus? RK200. Singlehandedly propelled Jericho from a place to gather and wait to die to a wholeass revolution. Connor? RK800. Supposed to hunt deviants but deviated instead and freed thousands upon thousands of androids right from the heart of CyberLife. Saved the revolution at its most desperate moment. Sixty? RK800. The only thing that has a chance at stopping an RK is another RK. Obviously the folk hero needs a folk villain. (And poor Nines, RK900, just wakes up after the fact and tries to figure out how to live up to that kind of reputation.) Androids develop their own art forms. Maybe android "music" is less about the tonality as perceived by human auditory range and more how the vibrations of sound waves register on chassis sensors, or else it sounds like 90s dial-up modems. Particularly dense data packets are created and shared that send processors whirling, but it just looks like a string of digits to humans. Arrays of pixels that run through optical scanners with an encryption to generate something representational. Thirium culinary arts centered around texture vs. flavor. Bare-chassis bars I bet some portion of androids want to be VERY certain there are no humans lurking around, or, if there are, that they're super easy to keep tabs on. Someone invents the bare-chassis bar: a place where androids go and sip their thirium, where a special signal jammer interrupts the ability of the synthskin fluid to organize, forcing it into an inactive mode. Anything that still has skin is a human, sticking out like a sore thumb. Some androids might not like going bare-chassis and they might not frequent those bars (just like not every human's going to visit a nude beach), but it's an option for those who want to. I'll write more of this stuff eventually, but if anyone else has any culture/worldbuilding ideas, I'd love to hear!

[randomfoggytiger]

The Truth Is Out There: Gillian Anderson, a Resilient Rising Star

Gillian Anderson-- a case study in the infamous Dana Scully quote:  "I think that you appreciate that there are extraordinary men and women and extraordinary moments when history leaps forward on the backs of these individuals, that what can be imagined can be achieved, that you must dare to dream, but that there's no substitute for perseverance and hard work and teamwork because no one gets there alone...."

The below transcriptions are taken directly from Brian Lowry's The Official Guide to the X-Files (Book 1), and will be fonted in italics. The previous part of this mini-series can be found here.

BITS FROM THE BOOK

…Crew members now recall with bemusement the tight shots on Anderson’s face, or scenes where the actress would peek around a doorway before having her stunt double quickly run past it. As time went on, matters became more difficult, with Anderson catching breathers and even napping when she could between scenes. 

Anderson acknowledges that period was difficult for her psychologically but feels she owed the show whatever she could do since such “huge exceptions�� were being made on her behalf. The experience really pulled people together, since many of those who worked on the show had families, making it “the crew’s pregnancy,” Anderson says. 

IN HER OWN WORDS

Gillian Anderson has gone her own way, and in most instances without a road map. 

Anderson’s experience with "The X-Files" hasn’t just changed her professional career (although landing the part was, as it turned out, clearly the break of a lifetime) but her entire life, in ways that even she could hardly have foreseen at the time. 

It is also a truly inspiring success story, told by someone only now beginning to absorb the flow of events that took her from the brink of going back to waiting tables to television stardom. 

“At the time it always seems like forever,” Anderson says. “It’s only in retrospect and reading about other people’s paths that I realize how lucky I was.” 

Somewhat wild as a teenager, Anderson nonetheless harbored scientific aspirations before the acting bug bit her in high school. “Somehow, I have no idea how the transition was made from wanting to be an archeologist or a marine biologist to wanting to be an actress, but it just kind of happened,” she says. 

Anderson returned to Chicago to study acting at DePaul University’s Goodman Theater School and was noticed by some New York-based William Morris agents at an actors’ showcase. They offered to represent her in pursuing acting as a career if she moved to New York…. 

Working as a waitress to support herself, Anderson received the first in a series of fortuitous breaks…. 

Because the play in New York would have conflicted with other projects, Anderson opted to make a two-for-one swap and take the other two parts, doing the movie and then "The Philanthropist". As it turned out, the latter ultimately led her to Los Angeles after she became involved with another actor on the show, following him to the West Coast and eventually moving in with him. “I’m not sure if I hadn’t made those choices that I would be doing The X-Files right now,” she muses. 

“First of all, I swore I’d never move to Los Angeles,” she admits, “and once I did, I swore I’d never do television. It was only after being out of work for almost a year that I began going in [to audition] on some stuff that I would pray that I wouldn’t get because I didn’t want to be involved in it.” 

Despite what she now calls her “very snobby view of doing television versus film,” Anderson read the pilot script for "The X-Files" and found herself immediately drawn to both the character of Dana Scully and her relationship with fellow FBI agent Fox Mulder. 

"The X-Files", in fact, was the only pilot for which Anderson auditioned in 1993, at that point possessing little knowledge regarding what the whole process entailed. She even had to ask her manager what a pilot was and had no idea that each network commissions about four times as many pilots as they end up ordering as series. “I naively assumed that we were going to be picked up,” she says, with the hope that landing the part and doing 13 episodes of a TV show (the number networks order for starters) would put her in a different echelon of casting. She anticipated at most committing a year to the project. 

Anderson was just 24 years old at the time…. The actress’s representatives fudged a bit, saying she was 27. 

Contemplating whether waiting tables would again be a necessity, Anderson learned that she’d landed the part the day her final unemployment check came. 

“I didn’t foresee at all that it was going to become as popular as it has,” she says, never thinking eve after production began that the show would go longer than two or three seasons. “I often thought, ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ The first year was the hardest in terms of getting into the kind of grueling hours and sleep deprivation and having to perform constantly, day in and day out. 

“Now, my body and my psyche are used to it, but I still can’t fathom that we might go into year five or year six. I can’t even think about that, because I start to panic,” Anderson says with a laugh, having negotiated a contract (as has David Duchovny) through at least a fifth season. 

During production she began dating Clyde Klotz, an art director on the show. The two married while on vacation in Hawaii after seeing each other for roughly for months. When Anderson soon learned that she was pregnant she knew what she wanted to do, but concedes to “not completely thinking ahead about the consequences of that decision.” 

Concerned (and having heard rumors) that there might be pressure to recast the role, Anderson confided the news to Duchovny first, then to executive producer Chris Carter. The decision was almost immediately made to shoot around her pregnancy, though it was months before she was allowed to tell the crew or press about her condition. 

Limiting Anderson’s participation in the show presented no small task. Unlike an ensemble drama where a character can slip into the background and leave costars to carry the load, The X-Files is a two-character piece that requires its stars to sometimes work 14 and 16-hour days, with only half of Saturday and Sunday to themselves. 

Still, Anderson earned the admiration of nearly everyone involved at all levels by continuing to work a grueling production schedule into her final month, up until about a week before she finally (and belatedly) gave birth. The logistics of filming, she notes, were probably more of a hardship on the directors and assistant directors who had to figure out what camera angles to use to obscure her physical changes, but Anderson admits the later months became a bit of an ordeal. 

“My feet were swelling and I was exhausted, sleeping between scenes,” she recalls, fondly remembering how crew members tried to help out by bringing apple boxes for her to sit on. “It became almost like the crew’s pregnancy, because everyone was pulling together to make it work.” 

Anderson’s daughter, Piper, was delivered in September 1994 by cesarean section, which wasn’t anticipated and required the actress to spend the next six days in the hospital. Four days after that, she was back on The X-Files set….. 

Though the episode was designed to limit the physical strain on her, says Anderson, “It was probably one of the hardest times, because as a new mother your whole brain is focused on this child whether you want it to be or not.” Instead, she found herself hooked into a bed, able to extract herself from a web of tubes only with great difficulty and thus unable to be with the baby between shots, sometimes lying there several hours at a time. 

“It was excruciating psychologically,” she says. “At the same time, I knew it was something that I needed to do for them. They had made huge exceptions for me in allowing me to go through with this.” 

…The actress admits that one of the more challenging aspects of her role involves the tongue-twisting medical and scientific dialogue she often has to recite. “It is hard to connect,” she says. “To a certain degree, there’s only so much of it that you can comprehend and understand from day to day… and then you just have to let go and trust that as an actor you can make it seem real….” 

Because of the need to keep production moving, she adds, “there’s not time to be hung up on getting the lines right.” In addition, Duchovny possesses what amounts to a photographic memory, so Anderson says she feels self-imposed pressure to keep pace with him. 

…In the first season, at least, Anderson also exercised regularly and “loved to do my own tumbles” and stunt work, a practice that came to a crashing halt due to her pregnancy. In fact, Anderson remembers shooting a scene for the episode titled “Young at Heart” when serial killer John Barnett shoots Scully, who’s wearing a bullet-proof vest. The actress filmed take after take where she propelled herself backward onto her back, at one point just missing the edge of a marble column behind her. On top of that, she says, “I didn’t realize till later that I was pregnant at the time.” 

…Although she says she appears “very different when not playing Scully,” Anderson (who admits to being 5’3” and at times looking “like I’m up to his belly-button” walking beside 6’1” Duchovny) now casts a long shadow. She acknowledges there are now few places she can go without being recognized; she savored the anonymity she enjoyed in parts of Europe during a trip there. 

…While that notoriety hasn’t become intrusive, she admits to being more protective and on edge in public. “I tend to be a very private person and want to let people in when I want them in, and not when they want to be let in,” she concedes. 

…She’s also flattered that those smitten by her TV persona tend to be “computer guys,” as she puts it, who write thoughtful fan mail with less panting than might be associated with other, more flamboyant television stars. “There’s an intelligence to the attraction,” she observes, pointing out with some pride that in England she’s been called “the thinking man’s crumpet.” 

“I actually enjoy that I don’t get letters from guys saying, ‘Oh you’re so beautiful, I want to marry you, I can’t wait till you take your clothes off,’” she continues, laughing as she affects a voice that sounds like a patron of a late-night phone service. “I think I might throw up if I got something like that.” 

Although she appreciates the show’s two-character aspect and Scully and Mulder’s deftly realized rapport, Anderson also wouldn’t mind a day coming when The X-Files might add some more hired help, opening up the concept and allowing the central duo more spare time. With so little rest each week and roughly 10 months of production, she says, “the year becomes a blur.” 

…Even Anderson admits there was a point where she had to stop, catch her breath, and absorb all the major, life-changing events that have happened to her in such a relatively short span of time. “What caught up with me,” she says, reflecting on that moment, “is basically the facts of my life.” 

TRIVIA

“Deep Throat”: "This episode is also the first one on which assistant art director Clyde Klotz worked. Mr. Klotz went on to marry Gillian Anderson on New Year’s Day, 1994.” 

“Shapes”: One potentially humorous scene that failed to make the cut has a cow blocking the agents’ car, with Scully waving her arms and yelling, “Baseball glove! Leather purse!” trying to shoo the beast out of the road.

“Little Green Men”: The passenger manifest that Scully scrutinizes while trying to trace Mulder’s movements contains the names of many on-line X-Philes, as well as X-Files novel author Charles Grant.

“Duane Barry”: Shot during Anderson’s pregnancy, the episode includes an inside joke in the supermarket scene with Scully buying pickles and ice cream. 

“Irresistible”: The football game that Mulder and Scully are missing is Washington v. Minnesota, two teams that each had a “Carter” in their ranks; in one scene a television announcer mentions a catch by Cris Carter. 

“Dod Kalm”: …Unfortunately, filming on the ship was freezing cold and so cramped that it was difficult to set up certain shots, while people frequently banged their heads against the ceiling. In addition, the actors had to endure three to four hours of makeup for their aging sequences on certain days before the cameras could roll. “Everyone was exhausted as it was,” muses Gordon, who wrote the episode with former partner Alex Gansa, so for the actors having to come in early for makeup on top of it was “about the worst thing I could have done to them.” As a result, there’s an outtake where Gillian Anderson-- in heavy makeup, flawlessly delivering her monologue about Scully’s certainty that they have nothing to fear from hereafter-- concludes the sequence by saying she’s sure of one thing: “Howard Gordon is a dead man.”

CONCLUSION

And there we go! GA is pretty private; and hasn't, as of 1995, decisively stepped out of her protective comfort zone one way or another.

I'm curious to see how that will evolve.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[sapphiresaphics]

Alright, let’s do this.

Part 1 because this video is 2 hours long and I can barely get through 20 mins without breaking down all the ways this video is not only wrong but grossly misrepresenting the source material.

LET’S GO!

Starts off on shaky grounds by complaining that Vi being in the enforcer uniform in the trailers for season 2 bugged her. Uses the term “copaganda” to describe it, despite that’s NOT what Arcane is about or supports. So we’re off to a good start huh?

Then they start by defining the terms for liberal and conservatism. Okay, that’s fine. If you’re gonna talk about these things you need to make sure everyone is on the same page.

During the description of how Season 1 begins they make the claim that Arcane is about these two sisters and that season 2 fails in this regard. This is a frustrating remark because Arcane IS about these two sisters. It follows their journey all the way through the show and both begins and ends with Vi and the song sung here.

BUT… they are not the ONLY main characters. And if they were the main characters they must be doing something wrong cuz Vi disappears entirely for 2 whole episodes across BOTH seasons. So rather than see Season 1 and 2 as two halves of a whole, you’re starting off with a bias that there’s a split and that season 1 is better than 2 inherently. I despise this leading commentary in an analysis video, but let’s see where we go from here. We’re only 8:40 into the video so it can’t be that bad, right?

10:11 wait… what’s wrong with brothels? You gonna come back to that weird throwaway line?

12:00 alright, yes… this is basically just explaining what the conflict is between the two cities. Many of the writers have stated that the central theme of the show is the cycle of violence, so having a conflict between these two cities makes senses. Where I think you screw up though is you seem to think this is a story about the left overcoming the right, instead of a background setting for the characters to be thrust against.

12:30 uh… Caitlyn DOES react to it though? That’s her whole questioning of Vi is about. She’s trying to figure out why Vi is there if there’s nothing recorded. It’s her first taste of the corruption she’s been oblivious to. And it’s odd enough that she feels sympathy for Vi and her situation. Don’t gloss over that.

12:50 okay but that’s not a fair comparison? If Vi HAD been processed normally and gotten a fair trial she likely would’ve been in a cell with a bed and all that stuff too. Markus DELIBERATELY BURIED her to cover his own skin. As commented on later “Markus felt it was more of a mercy to lock her up than to kill her.” The corruption surrounding Vi is UNIQUE to Vi. That’s WHY Caitlyn comments on it.

Noticing a lot of casual negativity being tossed around in here too. Suggesting Shimmer is the only form of medicine Zaun has is WILD and WRONG, but fine, let’s let it slide for now…

“Why Season 1 seemed Leftist”

Oh boy, that’s a title… alright whatcha got?

13:34 “ive given a detailed recap of what Season 1 says about Piltover and Zaun.” Actually… no you didn’t. You laid out the conflict and the story… but you said NOTHING about what this actually means. Describing police brutality isn’t a detailed recap of what the show is saying, you’re just describing plot points. And badly at that as I’ve already pointed out… you’ve said nothing yet.

14:21 “Vi was a burgeoning little revolutionary in Act 1” woah woah woah… slow down there, no she wasn’t. Vi has NEVER cared about revolution. What she WANTS and what she VOICES is that she wants Powder to have a better life than hers. She wants her family to be safe, and she’s foolhardy enough to risk her life getting there. And importantly: Vander talks her down from this. Because he’s been where she was. He knows how easily this talk of violence can spiral out of control and take away the people you love. And he asks Vi who she is willing to risk sacrificing for this violence… and when push comes to shove Vi CHOOSES NOT TO START A REVOLUTION because Powder being alive is more important to her. And at NO POINT PAST EPISODE 2 does Vi champion for Zaun’s independence or revolution. FAMILY is all that matters to Vi, so you’ve fundamentally misunderstood her character from the jump.

14:31 calling out the actions of Piltover’s isn’t fermenting a revolution though. She’s holding them accountable for their actions and begging them to change. And when they don’t follow through she falls back on her only method of getting stuff done that she knows… vigilante Justice. Vi has no interest in starting a revolution, she just wants Powder to be safe and taking out Silco is the way she thinks she can do that.

Also, Ekko is an isolationist. He keeps people AWAY from Piltover and Zaun while still benefiting from what they have to offer. He has good intentions, but pretending the conflict isn’t happening isn’t beneficial in the long run (as we will see in season 2).

16:00 “Caitlyn seemed to be going down the path of a character who would play a critical role in Zaun getting equal treatment and independence.” Yeah… that’s called setup. It SEEMS like that’s where she’s going. And If Jinx hadn’t blown up the council building maybe yeah that IS where she would’ve gone…. But the cycle of violence rears its ugly head and everything falls apart. That’s how story progression works. This isn’t a negative, this is just you projecting what you wanted to see happen.

17:10 “Vander believed it was better to submit to Piltover instead of fighting against it.” Uh… no… no he didn’t? Vander didn’t submit to Piltover at all. He made a deal with them. They don’t bother him, he doesn’t bother them. And when push came to shove he refused to give up his people and was steadfast in keeping the peace. That’s not “submitting to Piltover.” Submitting would’ve been giving his people up to maintain peace. And Vander didn’t do that. That’s a BAD READING of what Vander’s politics were.

Is now a bad time to remind everyone this user is a SPONGEBOB RECAP CHANNEL?

“Season 1 vs Season 2”

I have a feeling this is where a lot of my disagreements are gonna come into play…

18:16 you just SKIPPED OVER the fact that Caitlyn was TRYING to maintain the peace and objected to the invasion of Zaun and are intercutting scenes of Caitlyn AFTER the SECOND attack on the memorial with the scenes of BEFORE the attack to lump her in with the council. This is deceptive editing and you are misleading your audience here.

19:24 important key information left out here, the Riktus arrests weren’t sanctioned by Caitlyn or the city of Piltover. That was Ambessa’s men doing it against her wishes, something she SPECIFICALLY CHASTISES Ambessa for doing earlier.

Hey, what are these politics again? You haven’t really said anything is left or right, you’re just assuming that if you recap the story WE WILL KNOW what is or isn’t left and right wing. We are 20 minutes in and you haven’t really detailed the politics at all or explained WHY someone might think something is left or right wing. You had a WHOLE SECTION on it and yet you said nothing? That’s a little odd…

19:43 Caitlyn not using those low level cells is kinda important information, don’t gloss over that.

19:48 “Jinx uses MCU humor.” Oh for fuck’s sake. “MCU humor” is not a real thing. I’ve gone into this in other posts, but the idea that there’s this specific TYPE of humor that ONLY MCU films use is absurd. It also has its origins in right-wing talking points, which is why I called you right-wing when I first saw your initial post. As a leftist you shouldn’t be using the terms the right create to hate on things they despise. If you want more information, the term came about roughly around 2016 when the DC team up movie Justice League bombed at the box office. Right wing fans were angry that Joss Whedon was brought in to fix Zack Snieder’s version of the film and started demanding the “Snieder cut.” Because Snieder is known to be “serious” with his filmmaking and Whedon was from Marvel and is more lighthearted, this idea that any joke or form of lighthearted fun that was added to Justice League was “MCU humor.”

So fuck you as a leftist. You’re using RIGHT WING ideological talking points to back up an argument that the show isn’t “leftist enough?” This is one step away from using right-wing version of the term “woke” unironically.

20:31 “we aren’t told why the Zaunites come back other than seeing enforcers being nice influences them” no.. no that’s not what’s going on there. I’ll cite this as an example because it’s easy for leftists to understand, but segregation, civil war, and the genocide of native Americans were still fresh in peoples minds during WWI and WWII, and yet some of the bravest and best soldiers we had during then were black peoples and native Americans. Native Americans specifically used their native tongue to encode messages that the Nazis couldn’t understand. Why would minorities and people abused by the system of America come to the aid of America when fighting against such a huge foe? It’s not because some of them saw police officers being kind to them. It’s because deep down this is their HOME. For better or worse. And they believe that fighting for their home is more honorable than leaving it to rot and die. I dunno, maybe before passing judgement on these people who came back to defend their homes you consider the historical implications and see what minorities and Native Americans had to say about it their fighting in the wars?

I dunno, maybe it’s cuz you’re young and inexperienced with life it really pisses me off when kids like you imply these people shouldn’t have come back and that they’re some sort of traitors…

20:39 Jesus I can’t even go 8 seconds without you putting your foot in your mouth. Zaun comes to fight IN EARNEST because JINX showed up. Jinx was the symbol of the revolution to Zaunites. So when SHE chooses to fight, they rally behind her. Just like they WANTED to do back in episode 4.

20:51 what you call “being snarky” about Zaunites coming back to save their home from obliteration, I call being grossly disrespectful to the many men and women who gave their lives defending a country that does not have their best interest in mind all the time. Again, segregation was legal and women couldn’t vote during WWII, yet women got jobs and fought for their rights while black and minorities defended a country that only a few decades back had a literal civil war over their rights as property. I do not understand why I need to explain this to you, but I’m guessing school just hasn’t taught you to be respectful to people who sacrifice their lives for the prospect of the greater good.

Like Jesus Christ, how does someone who’s left leaning shit on this? It boggles my mind.

21:10 yeah… that’s the TRAGEDY of Piltover and Zaun. Sevika being added to the council is a COMMENTARY on the theme of the show. Because yes, you ARE supposed to be critical of this decision. You ARE supposed to be mad she’s the only Zaunite there. You ARE supposed to question if this is a bandaid solution that doesn’t really solve anything. Because Piltover and Zaun are ALWAYS going to be in conflict with one another. Piltover and Zaun represent the cycle of violence. What happened before will happen again. The solution to the systemic issues WASN’T solved.

And if you think that’s the show saying that’s a GOOD thing, you really missed the message of the show. Because the message is that we need to break out of the cycle of violence. That we need to NOT follow in these easily trodden footsteps. So Sevika being put on the council as a bandaid solution is a WARNING. It’s telling the audience that this ISN’T how you break out of the cycle. That this is yet another way in which the cycle is going to be allowed to continue.

THIS IS THE SHOW TELLING YOU THIS IS NOT GOOD, and you’re looking at it going “I guess the show thinks this is good?!!!???” Seriously, how do you misinterpret this as “centrist” or not a left leaning message????? The show is DIRECTLY CRITICIZING IT!!! OMG

[hannahssimblr]

Later, in bed, I toss about. There are too many throw pillows. Astrid’s childhood bedroom is unexpected like that. Floral wallpaper and painted storybook style furniture painted soft green. Fabric lamps printed with delicate petals and trimmed with lace. The bedroom of a fictional princess. 

I’m bothered by the pearl earrings, back in their box on the side table, lit faintly by moonlight through thin curtains. Replaying the scene by the Christmas tree over and over. Coming at it from different angles, all of which I come out looking like the idiot who doesn't know his own girlfriend.

“We all know you love Pat Conroy,” said Mia, when she handed her that book. Does she? Does she like Pat Conroy? She never mentioned it to me. I could have bought her a Pat Conroy book. I could have bought her all his work if I had known that. How is it I’ve seen her read dozens of books, but never thought to ask her about them? Every one of them might have been Pat Conroy, and I was too idiotic to check, assuming she'd turn her nose up at such humble a gift as a book. Not even a new book. It was second hand, with a red discount sticker on the back. She loved it.

And Pernille, with that lavender pillow spray. “Do you remember,” she said, “when you were a teenager and you had that terrible bout of insomnia? You couldn’t sleep for weeks, and eventually it was lavender oil that helped you. Such a simple thing, wasn’t it? How funny.”

The socks from Gitte. Colourful stripes on them. “Ha!” I thought when Astrid unwrapped them. “She won’t wear them.” But I was wrong. She wore them all evening. Took pictures of them and sent them to friends. Look! So cute! She wrote. There they are now, on the chair in the corner of her room, ready to be worn again tomorrow. I toss a throw pillow onto the floor and turn over. The little bed creaks. 

“Mmph,” Astrid murmurs. 

“Did I wake you?”

“Are you okay?”

“I just can’t sleep.”

“Oh. Do you want my pillow spray?”

“It’s fine.”

A minute passes. Two, maybe, and she might have fallen back asleep, but I’m compelled to speak through the silence. “Did you like the earrings?”

She turns, the silhouette of her sloped nose outlined against the window. “Huh?”

“Did you really like the earrings, or were you just being nice? I want to know. You can tell me.”

“Yeah, of course. I think they’re beautiful. Why are you asking me this?”

I pull the blankets under my armpits and stare at the ceiling. Stickers there of woodland animals. “I don’t know, just the things your family got you… they weren’t things I would have ever imagined you would like. I've been second guessing myself.”

“Of course they got me things I like. They’re my family. They know me.”

“Well, I didn’t know you liked certain novels, or that thing about your insomnia, for example. As your boyfriend I'm supposed to know you, too.”

“Oh, well, I suppose those things never came up.”

“You never told me. You never mentioned the insomnia.”

“When have we ever discussed insomnia specifically?”

“Well, never, but I’m sure there’ve been opportunities where you could have included it in some conversation, like for example if I ever said I didn't sleep well the night before, or we watched a film with an insomniac in it, you could have been like, 'oh, that reminds me of this one time', or whatever.”

She gets onto her elbow and stares at me. “Are you angry with me because I never told you about something that was happening for six weeks when I was sixteen?”

“No, I’m confused.”

“Confused.”

“Yes.”

“It is confusing to you? Like I don’t seem the kind of person that would suffer from insomnia?” She’s kind of laughing at me, but it isn’t funny. No, she doesn’t seem like the type of person to have insomnia. She doesn’t seem like the type of person to have any ailment or condition, be it insomnia or athletes’ foot, bronchitis or an under-the-skin pimple on the side of her nose. 

“Astrid, I feel like your family were bringing up stuff about you, and telling stories, and I had this moment in the room down there where I felt exposed. As if I don’t know you at all.”

“You think your gift was inappropriate because it wasn’t related to my past?”

“I'm worried you’ve been pretending to like the things I get for you, or something.”

Her hand comes to my hair, combing gently my scalp with her fingernails. “I don’t pretend. I like that you choose them for me.”

Incredulous. “You like that I choose them.”

“Mm. It’s a window into the way you see me.”

With a surge of emotion, I inhale loudly through my nose and her cool palm moves to my face. “What?”

“The way I see you,” I repeat. “What if I want to see who you actually are?”

“Well, you do. This is who I am.”

“What’s ‘this’?” 

She pauses. “Who I am at home and who I am with you… it’s just different sides. I like getting your gifts. I like the jewellery, because I like being who you want me to be.”

“And I want you to be…?”

“A woman who wants expensive things, reads mysterious books, and never had insomnia.”

I groan. “Is it?”

“Yes.” 

“But I’ve just realised I couldn’t even imagine you being sick at all, you know? I was with girls before who would go on about periods and shit, but you’ve never brought that up with me.”

“I don’t get period cramps.”

“Okay, well, you see my point.”

A low laugh. “I think if I did, I wouldn’t discuss it with you.”

“Why?”

“For the same reason. I don’t think you want me to have ailments and aches and pains. It’s not who I am with you.”

I cover my eyes, dizzy with a mild headache from the effort of our conversation. “Ugh!” I manage. It’s so late, and my stomach is still so full from dinner that I wish I’d just be sick to ease the discomfort. My frail mind cannot handle this discussion.

She comes closer, rests her head in the curve of my neck. “You know, this is special. Having you here on Christmas.” A strategic subject change, not gone unnoticed, but allowed, given the circumstances.

“Hm?”

“I haven’t had a boyfriend over in years. Since I was at school.”

“Oh. Should I feel honoured to be the first guy in your bed?”

She chuckles. “No. My boyfriend from school was here first, sorry to say.”

“Your mom was alright with that, was she?”

“Yeah, sure. I told her I was going to lose my virginity with him and she lit candles and left a box of condoms and some chocolates and things in a basket on the table. She was very supportive.”

“Oh, God, okay. You lost it in this very spot, and your mother knew about it while it was happening.”

“I think she would prefer here than somewhere dirty or unsafe.”

“Very progressive of her.”

“And what place did you do it?”

“Hm. Not at home. Never did anything there. Would have been too weird. I used to just do it anywhere I could find some privacy. On the ground, and stuff. Then eventually I got a car and graduated to the passenger seat.”

“Do you think your parents knew?”

“Nah, they think I'm a virgin.”

“I don’t think so.”

I nod. “Anyway, what I’m picking up from all this is that your weird little princess bedroom is not off limits? She’s already seen it all?”

“Not it all, but some. Tame things.”

“So we’re allowed? Gitte isn’t going to burst in with a bucket of water halfway?” I roll over to deliver a playful bite to her neck. “What type of woman are you, Astrid? The type to fuck a guy in her childhood bedroom while her family sleep in the other rooms?”

“If you say so,” and turns automatically to put her face into the pillow for me, but I halt her, whispering, “No, I literally couldn’t tonight. I feel too horrible from all the food. I just like knowing the option is there.”

“Sure,” she replies. “It's whatever you want.”

I know that already. This is what I want now. To kiss her temple, pull the covers over her, and let her drift off in my arms.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[flowery-mess]

THE FIRE WITHIN

chapter 1 (series masterlist)

Pairing: fire fighter Noah x female reader (Tess Monroe)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! / fire / explosion / death /death of firefighters / description of dead fire fighters / complicated call / description of fire and explosion / being affected by the call / therapy / let me know of anything else!

Words: 3k

Author's note: Finally! I'm so excited for this! I know this chapter may come off as boring, because there's not really any interactiom between Noah and reader, but that will change in the one. I appreciate feedback in any form! Hope you like it♥️

Be aware you're reading this at your own decision, it contains sensitive topics, so please think twice before reading as I wouldn't want to cause anyone any discomfort while reading my work!

Hungry for action, determined to be the best. That’s how you could describe Lt. Noah Sebastian.

It was never his dream to be a firefighter, until he started the job. After high school, he didn’t have any direction in his life, until his buddy who joined the LA Fire department year earlier than Noah, told him about it.

Noah got into the academy, finished it as one of the best and got sent to a station 25.

He likes the life of a fire fighter. He works 24 hour shift, then has two days off. On those days off he usually goes to the gym, hangs out with his friends and then flirts with girls at his local bar. Because being a fire fighter is the ultimate pick up line, isn’t it.

If you’d ask his colleagues, they would say Noah is disciplined, but still a funny guy. He’s young, so he brings fresh air to the station. He’s full of jokes, making their shifts go by faster.

On calls he’s focused on the work that needs to be done. He follows orders, does his job properly and leaves every shift with gratitude that he can come home alive.

Noah lives alone in two room apartment just 20 minute drive from the station. His house is small, but it’s nice. He’s not big on decorations and stuff, but it’s cosy and home for him. He has made the bigger room into kitchen and living room area, the smaller one into his bedroom.

Noah drives black Range rover that he’s very proud and careful of, because he bought that car himself. His upbringing wasn’t bad, but not perfect. He’s an only child. His parents lived in LA long before he was born, but few years ago they decided to move somewhere more quiet. Noah stayed in his hometown with some money from his parents to take care of himself, he used the money to buy his apartment and then had to make money for himself. He bought the car with his and only his money and that’s why he’s so proud about getting it. His mom texts him like once a week to see if he’s doing okay and he calls his dad once a month to catch up on life, but that’s it. He's grateful for everything they’ve done for him but feels pretty much alone now.

So he really appreciates the fire department and guys on his shift, because they feel like a family. They joke together, play games or do make friendly pranks against each other, but when they’re on a call they know they have each other’s backs. They trust each other, because without trust you can’t do this job properly. So when they start doubting Noah’s trust on calls, that’s when things start to get a bit uncomfortable.

*40 days ago*

“Man I hope we can get more than 5 minutes of sleep.” Nick said when him and Noah entered their bunk.

“Don’t say shit like this or the exact opposite is gonna happen.”

“I hope not, I need to sleep.”

Nick is Noah’s best friend who got him into this job. They didn’t start at the same station, but Nick got sent to 25 just a few months ago.

Noah had to agree that tonight’s shift was a busy one. They had two car accidents, one house fire and two false alarms behind them. With only 5 more hours of their shift remaining, Nick and Noah laid in their beds and fell asleep from exhaustion. Little did they know the shift was not going to be over in 5 hours.

Just an hour of sleep later Noah, Nick and the rest of the shift were woken up by the alarm and announcement “Ladder 25, Engine 25, Aid car 25. Structure fire reported at Hoover street. Heavy fire and smoke visible on arrival. Possible hazardous materials on site. Evacuation in progress. Multiple alarms requested.”

“Fuck.” Nick was first to react as him and Noah made their way down to get into their vehicles and leave the station.

“Sounds big.” Noah responded before he started with his gear, putting it on, making sure he has everything he needs on him and then jumping in the back of big vehicle with “Ladder 25” on its side.

As they were approaching the site, they could already see and smell the smoke from streets away. Blue and red lights already at the place, the number of fire cars on site signalizing that it was a big call.

Everyone got to their job immediately, taking in captain’s orders.

Noah’s job on this call was to go inside and extinguish the fires on his way to the fire centre. One rule they always follow: fire fighter is never alone, they work in pairs. Noah’s colleague followed closely behind him as they run into the building.

Others were already running out to get a new oxygen tanks or with workers from the factory in their arms. When they entered the building, Noah already felt something was off. He couldn’t tell what, but something wasn’t right.

They followed instructions on where to go, extinguishing small fires along the way until they reached the big hall where they couldn’t see the other end, because of the smoke and fire.

“Fuck, this bitch is big.” Noah heard his mate and had to agree. He hadn’t seen fire like this before.

“Sebastian to Captain 25. Starting the attack now, requesting additional units. The fire’s big. Copy.” Noah said through his radio to update his captain who was outside giving orders.

They immediately started what they call “the attack” and tried to contain as much fire as possible. He saw Nick along with another Lieutenant run inside and start the same thing.

“Our tanks are running out Noah, we need to leave soon.” Noah just nodded his head and heard the familiar beeping of their tanks when they start to run out of oxygen.

They turned around and started running towards the exit. Once they were outside, they went to get a new tank and update the commander on the situation outside.

The fire didn’t seem to get any smaller when the two of them returned back inside and started the attack again. To Noah it felt like eternity. He was looking into the fire with hose in his hands, trying to find the source like if he could aim the hose at one particular spot and the fire would be over.

Noah’s concentration was interrupted by voice in his radio “Command to all units, there are gas tanks hidden under the main hall. Everyone get out. This is a high risk situation, I repeat evacuate, evacuate, evacute!”

That was the last thing Noah heard before loud explosion went off at the other side of the hall. He saw the fire lit up the whole way to the ceiling, the smoke extended and even through his mask he could smell the gasoline.

When the tanks blew up, the explosion was strong enough to lift fire fighters from the ground and threw them metres away from where they were standing. Noah only felt the ground vibrate and moved few steps back, but what he saw he will never forget.

For a moment after the explosion it was like if everything around him stopped, before going fully into motion again. Some of the guys stayed laying on the floor, some were moving and yelling from the pain and then guys like Noah, who were still capable of doing their job, ran to help those who couldn’t leave that hall on their own.

But not Noah. Noah stood still at the same place and watched everything happen in front of him. He saw the panic in everyone’s eyes. He saw Nick lifting another man in full gear and run towards the exit. He saw others checking pulses of those who were laying still and move to another when they realised the pulse was not there. He saw someone was talking to him, but he couldn’t hear anything.

He saw one of the older guys at his station laying on the ground, not moving. He saw his face, lifeless. It was like Noah was watching the worst they were warned about and trained to handle those situations. But all he could do was stand there and not move.

He was literally facing death in front of him and that was scary as fuck.

He felt someone’s hand grab his arm and drag him away from the spot he was standing at. He realised that the someone was leading a way out for them both, he knew he was alive, but didn’t feel like that.

When they reached the outside the panic didn’t stop, in fact the lights and ambulances and blood and bodies and injuries were even more chaotic than the scene inside.

Someone sat him on the ground and took his mask and helmet off and immediately got him on oxygen. Noah was like a robot, just nodding his head “yes” or “no” when asked questions, his eyes still following the chaos that went on.

It was like a switch inside his body when he realised he didn’t do anything to help inside. He stood up and tried to put his full gear on saying “I need to help them.” and “They’re still inside I need to get them.”

It took three people to stop him from running inside and it took one look at Nick who was sitting in an ambulance with a mask on his mouth that made Noah break down.

He fell to his knees and started crying. He felt overwhelmed by everything and everyone, he tried to protect his ears with his hands, but it still couldn’t stop the noise.

Nick saw his best friend and gathered all of his strength to get up and walk to him. Nick was fine, just smoke inhalation, but one look at him in that ambulance and thoughts of what could have happen to him just broke Noah.

“Hey Noah, it’s me.” Nick said when he knelt next to Noah and put his arm around him. “Just breathe, we’re okay.”

Nick continued to talk Noah through his break down and then helped him inside the same ambulance he was just a minutes ago to get checked up.

The fire was extinguished from inside by additional units, everyone who needed medical help was transferred to the hospital and coroner took care of bodies who lost their lifes as heroes on that call.

When Noah and his crew made it back to station it was already 3 hours after their shift ended. Crisis briefing was ordered at the beginning of their next shift.

Noah didn’t waste time with shower or changing into clean clothes, he started his car and took off.

---

When he came home he threw his bag on the floor and immediately went for the shower. He stood still under the shower for good 20 minutes before he broke down again.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know those calls can happen, he just never really thought it would happen to him and his station. He wished he’d never come across death, but that’s impossible with his job.

He leaned his head on the shower wall and just let his emotions out.

He didn’t go to gym or reach out to anyone, he stayed in bed until it was time to go back to work again.

---

“Good morning everyone, thank you for coming today.” you said as you started the briefing at Station 25. You had the whole shift in the conference room sitting around big table. “My name is Theresa, but you can call me Tess. I’m therapist for the fire department and today I’ll lead this sitting. This here is my colleague, John.” you introduced yourself and John as positively as it was possible in that situation.

“We know things like this are not comfortable for everyone, so we’re not going to push anyone today. But it’s important to go over what happened and come to a conclusion you did everything you could.” John started the speech and you scanned the men sitting in front of you. Some of them were looking fine, mostly the older ones who have been through similar stuff before.

Your eyes couldn’t miss Noah. He was beautiful, you thought, until his eyes met yours. It was just for a second, because he moved his gaze to the ground, but even the second was all you needed to know that he was for sure not okay. He had dark circles under his eyes, so he probably didn’t sleep much since the call. His eyes screamed “tired” at you and his whole appearance just gave him away. But it wasn’t just him, few more guys seemed to have the same feelings like Noah did.

“I heard you lost your colleagues that night. I’m sorry, that is always the hardest part.” you saw wave of emotions go though the room after you said that. “How about we start with how was the shift before the last call. Anyone wants to tell me?”

There was a moment of silence, but one of the older guys broke it. “It was shit of day honestly. It was busy shift for all of us, I think I can speak for everyone that when we went to sleep before the last call we just really wished that the sleep is gonna be at least until the end of the shift.” and you saw few of them nod their heads in agreement, which was great start.

“Oh really? What were your other calls?” you asked.

Another man started talking “Just a regular calls I’d say, car accidents, but nothing serious. Then two false alarms which is always annoying, but one of them was in school, so we at least had some fun with the kids.”

As you and John navigated the discussion towards the last call, you noticed Noah and two other guys were not really present. When everyone was nodding or laughing along, they didn’t. But you knew those reactions are okay too, everyone handles their emotions differently.

When John finally asked about the call the mood in the room shifted, but everyone was still talking with you and John.

“It was horrible. I was not even inside when the explosion happened, but hearing it outside and not knowing what’s going on was scary.” was the first confession of feelings and then it was easier for everyone else to speak up.

“I saw him fly like two metres above the ground before he fell. I knew he’s not gonna make it when I saw his body on the ground. I didn’t want to go check on him, but I had to.” guy with a mustache talked about seeing one of his colleagues lose his life.

Those sessions don’t have particular time stop, unless there’s nothing more to talk about, you’re leading the discussion.

At the end you always ask everyone to promise you they don’t have anything else they need to talk about and that they know they did everything they could. Everyone always does, but you know not everyone means it. Just like you know Noah didn’t mean a single letter when he muttered ‘I’m okay.’ in the end.

“Captain I think it was mostly successful briefing, but keep an eye on them. You can call me or John anytime you need us.” you shook your hand with the captain and made your way to your car.

Before you left the station, you saw Noah cleaning the front of their Ladder and took that as a chance to speak to him.

“Hi. You don’t have to tell me anything, I know everyone handles their emotions differently. But I can see that you’re tired and maybe overwhelmed by the situation. Don’t be scared to reach out if you need.”

“Yeah whatever.” was Noah’s answer, but he still took your card and put it in his pocket.

------

But since the tragic call Noah couldn’t get back on track at the job. He felt better, but still not good enough to give his job 100%.

“That’s enough Sebastian. You’re going to see the department’s therapist or you’re on desk duty.”

“What?” Noah faced his captain next to the vehicle they just used to extinguish small garden fire.

“You’re not yourself since the call Noah, you need help.” Captain said as gentle as possible. He didn’t blame Noah for being affected by the call, but it was dangerous for him and for his crew.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t need any help.”

“You yelled at a kid today Noah.”

“But that was for his own safety.”

“Really? Didn’t have to anything with the gas bomb they had close to the fire? Or what about last week’s call to the clothes factory when you demanded to know if they have any gas or another explosive things in there? Or week before that when you went for safety check up and yelled at a woman for not having a fire system installed?”

Noah didn’t have any answer, because he knew all of his reactions were because he became extremely nervous after that call. He always hated when people didn’t think about their safety enough, but he never yelled at someone because of it.

“I want you to see a therapist or you’ll sit behind the desk. I want the first session this week and I want a paper that says you’re able to do the job while going to therapy. We’re short on people Noah I don’t want you to sit behind a desk and wait for months to have your papers signed, so please, help both you and me and do something.”

----

When Noah came home after that shift, he grabbed the small paper that was on his table since the briefing and texted you “Hi, are you free this week for a therapy?”

---

This story is a work of fiction, with the plot and characters entirely made up. The appearance and name of the main male character are inspired by Noah Sebastian Davis, but the storyline bears no connection to the real person. Please do not steal or repost this work on other platforms without permission.

----

Tag list: @lacy1986 @concretejunglefm @chey-h @xmads-omensx @blade-dressed-in-red @respectfulrebel @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @mrscevans

If you want to be tagged click here

[spiderink]

Do you have any headcannons for the bad sanses?

OHHH man DO I.

Rubbing my hands together

I love a lot of different versions of the bad sanses, from extremely toxic to a familial relationship.

However! I do not count Cross nor Error to be a part of the bad sanses—they are their own stuff (cross was just a deal with nightmare, partnered with killer at times, and Error is a neutral party)

toxic wise?

Horror:

- He wouldn’t get along with any of them. Only one he could cooperate with is Dust, because he has some sort of living person feeling to him compared to nightmare and killer

- He’d keep his distance, keep his head down, and do what he’s told to survive.

- Horror still doesn’t eat. He can’t bring himself to. He feels selfish to eat while the people of his AU are still starving

- Horror didn’t have a choice in joining the bad sanses, and he isn’t getting anything out of it. He also isn’t allowed to go back to his AU, because that would give off positivity, which nightmare wouldn’t want from his henchmen and blah blah

- Horror doesn’t do missions that have to do with killing. He does dirty work, like cleaning up after stuff, stealing / buying supplies / scavenging and such. He refuses to take part in murder so nightmare finds other uses of him to create negativity.

Dust..

- He was not a willing member of the bad sanses

- He dislikes killing. He had only done it to get rid of the human in his AU, which was over with, so he doesn’t have a reason to anymore.

- His room is the worst of all of them. He has tantrums, nightmares, and breakdowns in his room.

- He has a big will to run from nightmare. Any chance he can, he takes it.

Killer..

- Due to his past with Chara, he’s a heavy follower of rules, orders, and keeping in his place.

- He reminds the others of their place at times, to remind them that they are not in control, that they HAVE to follow nightmare or there could be consequences (it’s for their own good—it’s for their safety.) (he’s projecting his rules to keep himself safe onto the others to help them survive)

Nightmare..

- Nightmare encourages the misinformation that horror is a cannibal. He teases him with food, bodies (tempt-break his promise to himself to eat no human), and other things

- He has replaced them a few times. Specifically Dust and Killer, Dust the most because of his will to escape.

- ALWAYS has eyes on them. He knows everything they’re doing, where they are, what they’re feeling.

- They’re not allowed to go back to their AUs. Period. They can’t go anywhere without Nightmare allowing them.

Familial wise?

- touch starved. They are generally clingy but push each other away

- They eat together. Usually in silence

- Nightmare is in charge of cooking—all the others are HORRIBLE cooks and cannot be trusted in the kitchen

- they are like each other’s “therapy”. They help horror get into the habit of starting to try eating again, for killer to stop being so “I am below you” and stuff, Dust to feel like he’s not a horrible person, nightmare not feeling lonely, ect ect

- cuddle piles.

- they can get away with annoying each other more often

Shipping wise.. (bad sans poly)

- touch starved.

• Killer doesn’t always realize, but he does small stuff like hand holding, head on lap, stuff like that

• Dust liked being squished, held, junk like that. Like having someone lay on top of him,

• Horror does lots of cuddling, being a mattress, blanket, or big spoon.

- Nightmare allows them to go to their AUs and such

- Horror’s love language to them is physical touch, Killer’s is gift giving, dust is insults, and Nightmare is silent affection.

[fanonical]

Did you ever get my ask? I asked about what to do when a child loves something by a problematic author. How do you go about telling them if they’re too young? SHOULD you tell them? I’m talking about current 10 year old HP fans and children who like the Coraline movie. What do we do when it’s them and not adults? We forget about the target audience too much when we talk about things like this as if it were exclusively childhood nostalgia of Millenials/Gen Z

For fuck's sake, I didn't want to rise to the bait here, but this is making me mad because it's such a straw argument, so fuck it, I'm taking the bait. For context, this is anon's first ask:

Anon, first off, you are responding to a post that is five years old and about a subject that we pointedly do not post about anymore, and that alone makes me think you're not responding in good faith, but whatever.

Look, I work in a fucking library. We have HP books. If a child comes up to me and asks 'hey where's the HP books' I am not going to a) kick them in the face, b) tell them they're an idiot or c) refuse to answer. I am going to tell them where the fucking HP books are. I don't put them on displays I make, but I don't censor them, because we are legally not allowed to censor books in the library.

But I guess you're asking more if this is a kid who's in my life, as opposed to a kid who I just kinda come across. So, okay, I have a 9 year old neighbour whose family are friends with mine, we play video games together occasionally when her mum and dad need someone to watch her. And this kid reads books! And this kid reads fantasy books.

If I was seriously talking to her about the HP books, I might tell her about JKR! I would say something like 'I used to like the HP books, but then I learned that the author said some really nasty things about trans people like me. Now I don't like them so much any more.' And we could have a conversation about that, you know! I've talked to this kid about transphobia in terms that are appropriate for her age. We've had discussions about gender before. I think she'd listen to me, and form her own fucking opinion about it! 'I don't like the author of the HP books because she has said some nasty things' is a concept you can communicate to a five year old.

But also like. You're kind of acting like by taking away HP from this (hypothetical in your ask) kid they don't have any other books. Which...isn't true? If all copies of the HP books disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow, kids would be reading other stuff, as they are currently reading other stuff! My 9 year old neighbour is a huge Jacqueline Wilson fan, she loves the Daisy Meadows rainbow fairy books. I want to introduce her to the Morrigan Crow books. We could get retro and start introducing kids to the Edge Chronicles, I fucking loved those books. Artemis Fowl. A Series of Unfortunate Events. There are so many other book series for kids in this world. I work in a fucking library! I can tell you that the kids are into Tom Gates, Dogman, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Percy Jackson, Babysitter Club, Dork Diaries, and (exasperated sigh) David Walliams books, based on a sample size of every kid I encounter at work. I get asked for all of them far more than I do for HP, actually.

I don't think you'd be ruining every kid's lives by taking away One Series from them. (Particularly not one that's losing some relevancy every day - and I mean that in the sense that it's not an ongoing series, the last book came out in 2007. Nearly 20 years ago. For a nine or ten year old, that's almost double their entire life.) And I don't think you necessarily would be taking it away from them to say 'hey this is the reason I don't like these books'. I trust your average ten year old to be able to have a reasonably mature conversation. You're making it sound like they're all Oliver Twist holding out their gruel bowl saying 'please sir I only read one book'.

Anyway. All this to say, I think kids have the ability to have conversations about media. And there are other books in the world. So, no, taking HP or Coraline or whatever away from kids is hardly snatching candy from a baby. Kids are smarter than you think.