#but they got good insurance that i need
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AYO THINK I FINALLY GOT A JOB
#the job market here is terrible#its what i had before i quit in the first place#but they got good insurance that i need#and everything else here is GARBAGE
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Bonus: the old man (+insp)
#he gon need good health insurance coverage when he reaches the age eligible for pension#i am going to FUCK that senior citizen Logan Howlett#i will be his controversial young gf that helps him out of bed#sorry i read some fanfics of Logan and Wade and it got me acting a FOOOL#marvel#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#wolverine x deadpool#deadpool x wolverine#wade x logan#logan x wade#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#ryan reynolds#hugh jackman#gay#lgbt#lgbtq#honda odyssey#nicepool#deadpool#shawn levy
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They're all on a family plan
template credit (also in picture)
#this is how I waste my time#Larry has a good time on the phone with phone companies#“you need a dozen cellphones?” “...I have a lot of kids” “you've had 17 devices sent in for repair in the last year” “...yeah that seems ri#“Sir did you know the usage of phones on your plan goes up 400% between 8pm and 6am???” “look can I please just get the extended warranty"#he makes full use of those warranties. and insurance. shit doesn't last long in that museum. blame the miniatures they have way to much fun#he got tired of everyone swiping his phone for mobile games#its hard to explain to people that you didn't get their text because the last time you saw your phone was at 2am when-#you handed it off to a 4000yo teenager to play HayDay on and frankly it could be anywhere and its not worth looking#natm#shitpost#Larry daley#night at the museum#natm jedediah#natm octavius#ahkmenrah#natm ahkmenrah#natm teddy roosevelt#natm sacagawea#natm lancelot#natm Attila#natm nicky#natm tilly#night at the museum 3#natm 3#jedtavius
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Bow problems (+ other nonsense)
#saroart#dead cells#the beheaded#the collector#they just wanted a nice bow#the collector can do a lot of stuff but i don't think he's good at bows#i was drawing a lot of antagonistic beheaded/collector content so i wanted to do some more cute junk#okay a lot is an exaggeration. still#need some guys being buds content sometimes#weird monster guys doing domestic shit is my favorite genre#i got a bonus at holiday time and im tempted to buy a tablet i can use portably#esp because holy fuck i don't know how to draw anymore#but also i just spent stupid money on tickets to live podcasts so i probably shouldn't#unrelated im very upset today because fucking UPS didn't ring my goddamn doorbell and so “”missed me“” and couldnt deliver my specialty meds#why must i get my meds through ups#because the us is a hellscape and i am beholden to my health insurance company#ups who has literally never managed to get a package to this apartment#tbh im stressed as fuck about having to go through this every goddamn month
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if my parents keep talking to me im going to (remembers that suicide jokes are bad for mental health) go outside and dig a hole to narnia
#borbtalks#'borb u got a letter from vsp. why are you paying for vsp. i dont think u need it bc of xyz. oh you're getting mail from y insurance?#they're a good company. im also covered under them. are they cheaper than ur previous one? they must be. did u know medicare has a page#online where u can compare all the plans? well did you? ik you've been on medicare longer than me but idk if you knew :/#sooo do u have a valid drivers license? oh when did u get it renewed? when does it expire? we were looking at car insurance earlier...#oh btw when are they gonna reevaluate u for disability? do u know? when did they last reevaluate u? when do they reevaluate others?#ANYWAY. what if i brought over x's dog. the dog that stresses ur cats out so much that they puke everywhere and spend all day hiding :)#wdym it'll stress [cat] out. what if he. didn't get stressed? :)'#like SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#cant even walk into the bathroom without her trying to talk to me. can't make dinner w/o her trying to talk to me#and of course im the bad guy in telling her not to stress the cat out#just by saying 'vet says he's not supposed to get stressed out. he's at a higher risk for blockage if he does#which will KILL him.'#same woman who sat next to me while i was the phone w/ the phone company. petting the cat and whispering 'oh borb abuses u doesn't he?#maybe ill just steal you away one day. keep u away from borb. oh yes borb treats u oh so horribly.'#and my dad. sitting on the other side of me. said absolutely nothing.#i get it. im the family's designated fuck up!! the designated brat !!!! and no one gives a shit if my feelings get hurt !!!!!!!#i swear. my mother could smack me and everyone would rush to her side and comfort her stinging hand
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can't decide if I'm going to call out of work today. i feel like hot garbage but I want the hours
#[static]#it'd be one thing if it was the middle of the week but weekends are Hectic and busy and loud#we have a lot of coverage today which is good but ive got half an hour to figure out if im gonna make it or not#i need the hours for insurance im so close to making it
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helping
#turbotax bungled my return so badly i had to find and upload everything to H&R Block so#a real person could do it for a second opinion#my unemployment per week got increased which is good but i still have not been paid :)#phil#i also have to shop for health insurance today bc i cannot#figure out Medicare/medicaid in Texas#which is complicated by the fact i do not have unemployment in texas just ma#i also need to open a local bank acct and get that shit figured out bc i have a money order in tk#desk for the wrong amt when i originally rented this place#and that could help pay rent this month#but that requires going to a bank and explaining in person i don’t have any idea what im doing#having a really terrible mental health time on top#of that#also my phone is acting up#many tribulations and woes and maladies#yeehawing; gunshots
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Go to the DMV without something going horribly wrong challenge (impossible)
#I did pass my test for the record!#but only after realizing I SOMEHOW lost my learners permit?? even though I never ever took it out of my wallet??#I feel like I’m going insane HOW DOD I LOSE IT?????#I mean I guess it isn’t important anymore bc I’ll have my license but still#Concerning that important things can just disappear from my wallet#and THEN when I get into my lane for the road test I find that the insurance paper in the car is outdated!#and when it got renewed my parents just. forgot to give me the paper.#so we had to call our insurance guy in a panic so he could send us a picture of it#and I nearly had a panic attack bc if we didn’t get it in time I would need to reschedule the whole thing and that’d HELLA screw me over#but it’s fine we got it in time and I only cried a little bit#parallel parking did good it’s all fine#but I swear my track record with the DMV is abysmal. I have never not had a problem when I go
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#welp! things continue to happen!#my wife has been hospitalized! (like kinda preemptively)#she should be fine but it's still. very hard.#and she has good insurance so it shouldn't be a big expense#(aside from like. if she runs out of sick days.)#she thinks she should be fine to go back to work and handle the move and all#but if she isn't we've got a backup plan sketched out.#and yknow like. it's hard. it sucks.#I don't know when she will be home or how she'll be doing.#plus I've still also been in need of care this whole dang time but that will have to wait a little longer!#it's just real hard!#I'm having a real bad time!
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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30 minutes until what is likely going to be my second to last Stelara injection 🫠
#the good news is my small intestine is in remission#the bad news is insurance isn’t going to let me stay on the med that got me there bc they will not prescribe the frequency of dosing I need#I am so sad and angry and I hate BCBS with a fiery passion
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So I know this isn't anything that like actually needs an apology but it'll make me feel a bit better to say it. Oof whoops this ABoT chapter is super late. Timing kinda sucks since I wanted to have some updates out while s3 was airing but
Been kinda mega busy and stressed since October with the whole condo buying thing which rolled right into immediate day 0 plumbing and boiler issues I had to get fixed and general moving hassle and financial commitment stress and I kinda just fried myself hard. Plus then acclimating to a new place without my familiar street or familiar grocery store or familiar room or any of that. Like there's no "just go home and take your mind off it" to this cuz home is the "it". So I'm just kinda enduring until I can calm the hell down.
And anyway I definitely have progress on ch47, like 7000-ish words of it, but it's the kind of like "there is writing there" and hasn't exactly hit the "there is substance there" that I want ABoT chapters to be. Like this in particular is a chapter I want to be good, not just be done. So it's taking time to get my brain somewhere that can do that.
#anyway#i mean just in case anyone was like wondering if its discontinued to anything#its still going i just can't make it Good quite yet#(plus i need to get furniture cuz as it stands the place is really quite empty and bare except for like my room and the kitchen)#(also the bank had my address wrong so they havent been able to send me any of the mortgage information which was technically due already)#(ive been in contact with them but it's a whole thing)#(plus im still not quite finished with all the utility switching. i still need to get water in my name)#(and the boiler issue fucked up my gas bill so now ive got a crazy high gas bill i just need to... pay)#(i have actually started seeing a therapist but thats a whole other Thing now figuring out insurance and deductables and using my HSA#account and just... it's a lot)#(oh also my homeowner's insurance policy number doesn't actually work for getting me into the online portal. and the geico guy said he was#looking into it but I havent heard anything in a while)#(its a lot im just gonna melt for a while i guess)#(plus all the upfront stress has made it really hard to associate the new place as 'home' instead of 'place of great many plumbing evils')#(i sat on like 4 million couches this week and the only one i really really like probably doesn't quite fit in my living room)#(the downstairs neighbors tv is too loud and i need to talk to her about it in a way which isn't 'hey im holding on by a thread and this#one small inconvenience is the thing which is making me turn into ash')#(oh thats right i have to go pay my january HOA dues...)#(oh also I need to file for the owner-occupied tax exemption thing now that its 2023)#anyway......... ill be normal eventually. im just not normal right now.#chrissy speaks
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I feel such joy to know ppl & hear them share things with me. Looooove having friends and picking their brains, I really should do it more often than I do now tbh
#I do think I need to get back on trying to keep up with all my friends#like there are areas of my life I wish I’d put more effort into bc I want to keep cultivating my dnd friendships#bc those are so so so so special to me and I really should do more to like grow those friendships#bc any relationship takes time and love and tending and I do that but I’d like to do more#but there’s a lot of areas in my life I wish I’d improve#I’m getting there tho I don’t wish to come as mean to myself rn#bc I feel very good I just got done playing dnd and that’s always such a fun time#I love seeing my friends it really boosts my will to live and makes me feel like a person again#idk we are going through it and I know why but also I don’t know why and idk how to explain#we’ll see if I can do something in therapy but also I need this insurance shit to get mailed to me so I can stop#stressing about everything#life is so hard I’m so proud of every person on this planet except for the billionaires and shit#bc we are all out here in the trenches in wjatever form that takes and Christ it aucks#but I can still take your hand or message u online and we can have a little laugh
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why is internet so fucking. spensive D:
#like. im spending 525/mo on rent AND whatever i end up paying in internet??#fucking vile#gonna talk to my roommate before i decide but i think i found the cheapest in my town for like. 25#which isnt horrible and i can afford that#but i'm also gonna be getting a loan to cover the rest of whatever my car is#bc i only got just over 4000 from the other insurance company#and i can only afford like 4000 of my own money#so heres to hoping i can get about a 4000 loan and can spend about 12000 on a good vehicle that will last#and if i dont find any that look good there's one that i can check out for like 5000#that will need some cleaning bc the owner was a smoker so it stinks a bit#but also. 5000 for a car is pretty damn good#but i'm gonna see what i can find first#but anyway. internet is stupid expensive and i fucking hate it#em rambles
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speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling
#[static]#it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism#some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under#i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever#it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others#and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing#like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks#every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like#one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways#something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out#i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery#poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop#never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on#so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly#and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again#its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much#im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel
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lemme just rant in the tags for a minute
#fucked up my foodstamps/health insurance application so now I don't have health insurance or food stamps#about to run out of my meds#hate the new job I got and have to send in a resignation letter this evening#tried to pick up my partner's Vyvanse and they were out OF COURSE#lost my debit card in the process#literally can't remember the last time I showered#new people/dogs moving into the house#lots of change in the house in general#all good! but Stressful#why do I even care about my debit card anyway!!!!!!! not like I have MONEYYYYYY#I'm having a Bad Day chat#gonna roll into the river and be launched into space by one of those salmon cannons#OH AND MY PHONE IS STARTING TO GET FUCKED UP#AND WE NEED A NEW CAR BATTERY
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