#and when it got renewed my parents just. forgot to give me the paper.

[a-lonely-dunedain]

Go to the DMV without something going horribly wrong challenge (impossible)

[josefavomjaaga]

Paris, January 3, 1810

This is a letter by Madame Eleonore Metternich (nicknamed Lorel) to her husband Clemens, giving some insight into how negotiations about the Austrian-French marriage started. It’s translated from Metternich’s papers, Volume 2, the original is in French, and the spouses adress each other as “vous”.

The Metternichs were a rather odd couple. He a notorious skirt-chaser, falling in love (and passionately!) with every other pretty lady, and she a rather homely, small and unattractive woman, perfectly informed about her husband's many affairs, yet still staunchly supportive and full of admiration for hubby dearest. When during the wedding ceremonies at Compiègne the two of them happened to meet on the road one night, he coming from Vienna and she from Paris, there was the bonmot that "all these extra-ordinary circumstances had been necessary to make Monsieur and Madame Metternich meet at night for once." In truth, the two of them seem to have gotten along pretty well; they had seven children, Metternich entrusted his wife with many important tasks, and she dutifully closed her eyes over his exmarital escapades. The two of them seem to have led an "old-fashioned" marriage, which was much more about business than about romance.

Paris, January 3 , 1810

Today I have some very extraordinary things to tell you, and I almost believe that my letter will be an essential part of the expedition.

First of all I must tell you that I was presented to the Emperor last Sunday. I had only asked Champagny for it verbally, when I received a letter from M. de Ségur which told me that the Emperor had fixed it for Sunday, and that I had to choose a lady from the palace who would present me. I chose in my wisdom the Duchess of Bassano, and after waiting, together with a score of other women among whom were the Princess of Isenbourg, Madame de Tyszkiewitz and others, from two o'clock until half-past six in the evening, I was introduced first, and the Emperor received me in a way that I could not have believed. He showed real joy at seeing me again and at the fact that I had stayed here during the war; [...]

When war broke out in 1809, it seems the Austrian government kinda forgot about its ambassador in Paris and did not recall him in time. Metternich was first detained, then exchanged for a general as prisoner of war. As soon as peace had been concluded, he became Minister of Foreign Affairs in Austria and had since then remained in Vienna. Lorel, as to her, had contemplated following her husband to Austria several times. But she clearly was more useful in Paris, so she stayed and informed Metternich of what was going on in the French capital.

[...] he spoke to me about you and said: "M. de Metternich has the first place in the Monarchy; he knows this country well, he will be able to be useful to it." This sentence impresses me above all by what will follow.

The next morning Madame d'Audenarde came to me, and told me that the Empress [...]

The empress - that would be Josephine. Already chucked out of the Tuileries and with her marriage to Napoleon declared invalid. But obviously still very much in the midst of things.

[...] would like to see me very much; I went to Malmaison the next day, which was yesterday. When I arrived, there was only the Viceroy in the salon, who is the best of humans; he is the Queen of Holland as a man. 

No! No, he's not! You take that back! He may be in some ways similar to her but he really isn't quite as bad ... - (For the record, I am aware that Lorel meant this as a compliment.)

He spoke to me a great deal about you, and in the midst of our conversation came the Queen, who was very glad that we had so soon renewed our acquaintance; then, taking me aside, she said to me: "You know that we are all Austrians at heart; but you would never guess that my brother had the courage to advise the Emperor to ask for your Archduchess!" 

I bet Lorel never would have guessed. Neither would have Eugène, most likely. In truth, he was probably there on explicit orders from his stepfather to sound out Madame Metternich if her husband might be ready to hand over some archduchess to be married by a French emperor.

Napoleon: But be subtle! They must not take it for an actual request! You have to ask without actually asking the question, got it?

Eugène: [stares at Napoleon blankly]

Napoleon: You know what, let your mother and sister do the talking.

I had not yet recovered from my astonishment, when the Empress entered, and after telling me of all the events which had just happened, and of all that she had suffered, [...]

... and after Eugène and Hortense had interrupted her lengthy sermon on that topic and had reminded her that there was something else Josephine really, really wanted to talk to Madame Metternich about, ...

[...] she said to me: "I have a project which occupies me exclusively, and the success of which alone gives me hope that the sacrifice I have just made will not be in vain; it is that the Emperor should marry your Archduchess; I spoke to him about it yesterday, and he told me that his choice is not yet fixed; but," she added, "I believe that it would be, if he were sure of being accepted by you." I told her all I could to prove to her that, for me individually, I would regard this marriage as a great happiness; but I could not refrain from adding that, for an Archduchess of Austria, it might be painful to come and settle in France. She always said: "We must try to arrange this", and then she was sorry that you were not here. "Your Emperor must be made to consider that his ruin and that of his country is certain if he does not consent, [...]

Ah, the napoleonic approach to negotiations. Always start with a threat.

[...] and this is perhaps also the only way of preventing the Emperor from making a schism with the Holy See."

Religion, that'd be good, right? Your're all quite catholic in Austria, right? Imagine if you could save the Pope!

She told me that the Emperor was to lunch at her house today, and that she would then let me know something more positive. - At this moment I receive a note from Cochelet, [...]

Louise Cochelet, one of Hortense's ladies and chief intriguer in her household.

[...] who tells me that the Queen is expecting me tomorrow morning; we shall have to see what she has to say to me.

Probably added some time later:

I have not seen the Queen of Holland again, because she is ill. I therefore have nothing positive to tell you about the affair in question; but if I wanted to tell you about all the honours with which I was showered, I would not come to an end soon. At the last circle, I played with the Emperor; [...]

Cards, I presume.

[...] you can well believe that it was no small affair for me, yet I came through it with glory. He began by praising me for my diamond headband and the timeless golden dress, and then he asked me a lot of questions about my family and all my relatives; he absolutely wanted, in spite of everything I could tell him, that Louis Kaunitz was my brother.

Look, if Napoleon says that this young man is your brother, you better inform your parents to adopt the guy. Easier than trying to convince Napoleon of the opposite. (In truth, Kaunitz was a cousin.)

You cannot believe the effect of this game; when it was over, I was surrounded and courted by all the great dignitaries, Marshals, Ministers, etc. I had enough to make me happy. I had plenty of opportunity to make philosophical reflections on the vicissitudes of human affairs.

Court life really must be something special.

[msotherworldly]

A Wizard’s Cure

Title: A Wizard’s Cure

Fiction Type: Original Fiction

Warnings: Drug mentions, minor swearing

Prompt: “I’ve waited for this.”

“I’ve waited for this.” I tore the wrapping aside. Shimmery paper piled around me. Beneath it all, there was a cardboard box. I shook it. The weight was right. I shook it again. The sound was right. Thinking of all the latest games I’d play, I ripped the box open. At first, I saw the PlayStation as expected. Then I saw the jade tablet, and frowned as I took it out. Was this a joke?

“Uh...thanks.” I turned the tablet over. Writing ran over it, but the letters weren’t any I recognized. “What is this?”

Mom and Dad exchanged a glance.

“You’re sixteen now,” Mom said. “Your powers should be acting up.”

I snorted. “Very funny.”

“I’ve waited for this,” Dad said. When he said it, he sounded as I had—like he was anticipating something.

“Seriously, what’s the joke?”

“It’s not a joke!” Mom’s eyes flashed. “You have been raised in an ordinary suburbia. But you are not ordinary. None of us are! We couldn’t tell you until you were ready.”

“What, I’m a wizard?”

“Something like that.” Dad’s moustache quivered. “Don’t get too excited. You’ll be lucky if you can light so much as a candle within a year.”

“So there’s no PlayStation?”

Dad reddened. “PlayStation? I’ve just told you you’re gifted, and you’re worried about a damn game console?”

“Rory.” Mom placed a hand on his arm. She met my gaze. “He doesn’t believe us.”

“I don’t think he-”

“But you must remember when your parents told you!” She laughed. Mom had always been “Bohemian Goth,” draped in long black hair, long black skirts, long black shawls, and long black necklaces. That didn’t make her a-

“You’re both magical? Oh, sure. Come on. If you were mages or whatever, I would have seen it! You can’t hide magic!”

“It was subtle magic.” Mom shrugged. “I’d pull out the candle lighter, and then snap my fingers when you weren’t looking. I’d renew the milk so it didn’t spoil. I’d make our garden bloom longer. Of course, you must have noticed how old Daisy is.”

“Lots of cats make it to twenty one.” I set the jade on the coffee table. “That’s not magic. She’s healthy!”

“She doesn’t have any grey hair!” Dad shook his head. “You really never suspected? By the time I was ten, I thought something was up!”

“Yeah.” I snickered. “But you’re a nerd. Your room is still papered over with Tolkien quotes.”

“Hm, well, sure. But that’s not the point!” Dad slumped forward. He studied his knees, drumming his fingers on them. He glanced up, and I grimaced. He exchanged a glance with Mom; she put a hand on his arm. He nodded. “Well, I guess we were pretty careful.”

I looked between them. “Show me.”

“I’ve been meaning to paint the wall.” Smiling, Mom circled the room. She held up her hands and sang. Golden light bloomed from her fingers. Like mist, it drifted over to the walls; expanding and glowing, it covered the green. When the light drew back, the walls were purple.

“Halloween colours.” Dad rolled his eyes. “You’ll remember when they were orange?”

“You changed them when I had that sleep over. I remember.” I frowned. “I did remember thinking it was strange, how fast you’d managed to paint them. And then, when there was no new paint smell...”

“That’s what we forgot!” Mom smacked a hand to her forehead. “Rory was insisting we’d forgotten a small detail, but neither of us could think what it was! Oh well. We can remember it now.”

Mom performed a second spell. When the light drew away from the walls, they left a scent in the air of new paint.

“What happens if a kid finds out early?”

“They get their memory wiped of course.” Dad grinned. “But we never had to do that with you. Never!”

“Most parents have to do it two or three times. But then, you were never like other kids. Not as nosy, or curious. When you said you were going to bed, you meant it.”

“You mean I was a nerd.” I chuckled. “Like Dad.”

“Nah, I was a nerd. But I was a troublemaker. My friends and I used to swap marijuana in the locker rooms after gym. Then we’d sneak out, and Lenny would snatch a bottle of vodka from his dad’s locker. Lenny’s dad was a drunk. Had dozens of bottles. And we took dozens. He never missed ‘em!”

Mom’s brows knitted together. “Don’t tell him that!”

“Then there was the incident with the mushrooms in the grocery store!”

“Rory, stop.” Mom blushed. “He has to prove himself, you see. He’s been dying to show you spells early, just so he could prove what a great wizard he is!”

“Me?” Dad’s voice was too innocent. “Nah, I just use it to fix the car. You might have noticed we never had to take it in for repairs! And it’s still got that new car smell. Drives your mother crazy, but I enjoy the smell of freshly upholstered leather.”

Mom sighed.

I chuckled. “You guys are weirdos. Even without the magic thing. Or are all mages...eccentric?”

“Most of ‘em are nut bars.” Dad ran a hand through his hair. “I could tell you about Mrs. Snider. She used to shave herself bald and dance under the moonlight naked.”

“That old lady who comes over with all the tattoos? She’s a witch too?”

“That’s the one. The Naked Dances are considered outdated now, but I walked in on her doing-”

“Rory.” Mom shook her head. “No.”

“Another time.” Dad winked. Mom muttered something under her breath. Dad pointed to my tablet. “It’s not a PlayStation. But it will act as a...circuit for your power.”

“The word you’re looking for is ‘conduit,’ dear.”

“That’s what I said! It boosts magical abilities. Makes spells more powerful. And you can draw power from it too, so you don’t tire out so much.”

“What can magic do? Can we be immortal?”

“That’s very advanced magic.”

“You made Daisy stay young.”

“Daisy will still die someday. I just prolonged her life. Her lifespan is that of a human. But she will age. Very gradually.”

“But it’s possible.” I looked between them. My heart sped up. “And my illness-”

“Yes, it’s possible. You may even be able to slow the growth. But we’re not Masters. Very few wizards are. You’d need someone like Merlin to cure you.”

“Or I could become like Merlin.” I squared my shoulders. “I could cure myself.”

Mom and Dad bowed their heads. Mom opened her mouth, but Dad shook his head. She took his arm. When she leaned into him, her eyes closed. After a few minutes, she left. I heard the door to her bedroom close; that was never a good sign.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. For your sake. I never wanted to give you false hope.”

“But I could be a great wizard someday!”

“You have as much hope of being a great wizard as the average person does of becoming an astronaut, a hockey player, or a famous actor! It’s not impossible, but the chance is so rare!”

“I have to try.”

“I suppose you do. But don’t let her know how hard. She was scared this would happen.”

“I don’t want to die, Dad. Not just...not now. But never. There’s too much I want to do.”

“I’ll be happy if I make it into my seventies.” Dad wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Tomorrow, we’ll start your lessons.”

“I don’t have to go to a special school, do I?”

“Oh, no. That’s just a trope. You’ll be learning from us. And if you’re exceptional...well, there is a college which takes in the most skilled, but they only take five students a year. Students who graduate are Masters.”

“And none of them could heal me?”

“They will if you have two million dollars to offer them.”

“What?”

“Most don’t want to be doctors. They set high prices so people will leave them alone. Think about it. They would be barraged with orders. And then they’d never be able to use their abilities for anything else.”

“But maybe, if I was a Master too, they’d want to help out a colleague.”

“Forget tomorrow.” Dad smirked. “We’ll begin training today.”

[izayoichan]

Rylan forces himself to pull it together, not wanting it to end with him crying for hours, especially as both, his parents will wonder.

“Sorry, I'm not used to...I'm just sorry, and I really did want to show you your finished character sheet.”

He dries away some tears from his face, leaning back on River, taking a couple of deep breaths to calm himself back down. River shakes his head and brushes his thumb over his cheeks, wiping away the tears

“Don't worry, okay. You can cry with me every time. I'm here. Okay. Show me my beastmaster!”

Rylan nods, taking the paper from the desk, it's now several pages, where Rylan has clearly drawn how he imagines River as a beastmaster, wolf by his side, small fairy dragon on his shoulder, with what the book says is a fairly high end gear.

“I had time, I wanted to make it a bit special...”

River looks at all the hard work Rylan put into the beastmaster, eyes wide with admiration as he reads through it and sees the pictures.

“This is amazing! You did all this last night?! Awesome! You even have how the party will meet me!” “It's often what I do at night... I mean story plan, so I have as many options depending on their choices as I can. It makes the stories more fun to play. The drawing was more... just because it is you.

Smiles, putting a hand behind his head.

River pulls him back close and gives him a gentle kiss.

“Thank you! It's perfect, I love it! I can't wait to play with you guys!”

Laughs looking at it again eagerly, already imagining how his character would be, making Rylan smile, wondering just how he will feel after his character dies to some horror he will concoct. 

“I'm glad you liked it, you gave me some ideas with the cowboy hat, and I thought it would be fun to have him be a bit like you.”

He smiles, looking a little embarrassed, clearly, he had thought a lot about it sitting awake. 

“I can't wait to see what you do with him, I can only imagine it bringing some comedy to the group.” “Oh! If I can make you laugh it'll be a win in my book! Thank you. It's an awesome gift! “You're welcome, although maybe I should have shown it after the other gift in case it was the best one?” “I have two gifts?! dear god! I never even got one and here you're telling me you got me one more?!”

He laughs nervously, already feeling like maybe his gift might fall short in comparison and is now wishing he'd gotten Rylan something more. He had never gotten more than one gift if he got one at all with his mother not really celebrating Christmas. 

“Yeah.. this isn't really a gift.. or well it kinda is, but not wrapped and under the tree?”

His attention gets pulled from what they are talking about  with a sudden drop in the temperature in the house, making him look at the door, then back to River, knowing all to well what that normally means.

“Got cold in here!

Looks around rubbing his arms.

“Is your house haunted by any chance?”

Trying to lighten the mood though he has a bad feeling that the temperature drop isn't good news. 

"Yeah....haunted.”

Get's a worried, restless type look on his face, one River has seen many times before.

“Sorry... I... Hopefully, it's just a false alarm...”

River wraps his arm carefully around Rylan, rubbing his shoulder.

“Hey... what can we do to help? When your brother gets 'sick' what can we do? Is there anything we can get him? Like food, drinks or... ice cream?”

He tries to focus, the whole sudden change in temperature having rattled him slightly. 

“Not much... cold water, cold temperature... and if I'm guessing right, cola and time..

He sighs, leaning against River, wishing these things would just stop happening.

“Okay, so if the temperature dropped, they most likely are already helping Hayden, so he's going to be okay.”

He holds Rylan close- 

“So, we just have to wait. Do you want to go to prepare something to help your parents? maybe help with the dinner or set the table? that way we help them out while we wait. Or do you want to go check on your brother first, make sure he's being tended to?”

Rylan tries to snap himself out of it and focus. 

“I guess.... we could set the table, and see if there are other things that need doing..”

Takes a deep breath

“Yeah... I guess we can check that...”

River places his hands on Rylan's cheek and makes him look at him, giving him a gentle kiss

“He's alright okay. If he weren't, we'd know by now. There'd be a small antsy Lizzard yelling through the house, that I can bet you. He's alright, okay? Let's go help your dads set the table and get everything ready so when your brother feels better we can all sit together and have one those nauseating Christmas dinners movies love so much. Come on, Rylan!” “Your right.. thank you, it's a little easy to enter panic mode still I guess.” 

Takes Rivers hand, and walks towards the door, turning around, kissing River one extra time.

“I love you.” “I love you too, Rylan.”

He places his arm over his shoulder and walks down with him. Rylan noticing Hayle coming from Hayden's side off the house.

“How is he?” ”He'll be fine, temperature spike with a migraine-like headache, but he's well cared for so come to help me with the table?” “Yeah...” “Yess. We figured you guys could have a hand, so what do you want us to do?” “Well, help me set the table, and we’ll go from there, the food is Chris’s domain, so he will just go get that a bit later.” “Alright. We set the table.”

Smiling he tells Rylan to get the Christmas table cloth so he can get the plates. smiling at Hayle and Rylan, hoping to have Rylan distracted enough for him not to worry so much. Rylan nods, getting the table cloth putting it on the table with the help of his dad, still occasionally looking up to where he simply assumes his brother is.

“Wait.. what is for dinner this year?” “Hmh... I am not sure, Chris mentioned a surprise so I guess we just have to wait and see?”

He walks over with some plates, putting them on the table, spreading them around to where they will sit. River sets the rest of the plates with Hayle and goes get the glasses, stopping as he can sense a temperature change in the house.

“Did you guys feel something?”

He places the glasses on the table looking at the ceiling, Rylan looking up as well.  

“That... is Vy healing... I felt it before...”

He almost turns around to walk up and check but is held back by his father's hand on his shoulder.

“If they need us they will tell us. Now let's finish here, right?”  “Okay...”

River walks to Rylan, placing a hand over his shoulder.

“Hey. Everything is okay. Help me come get the drinks. I don't know where they are.” "Sorry... and yes.. come on.”

He leads River to where he knows the drinks are, mostly its soda, but there are also some strange other drinks standing there. 

“Oh yeah, my parents have a fascination for this drink for Christmas, it's called Aquavit, it's popular in Scandinavia apparently." “Is it good? You think your parents will let me try?”  "I honestly think it tastes horrible, but I am sure they will let you taste...”

Winks at Rylan, sets the bottle down again and pulls pulling him closer and kissing him. Get's caught by surprise by the sudden kiss, kissing him back, holding on to him as if he is afraid he might just vanish somehow. River rubs Rylan’s back gently, just looking at him. 

“I don't think I tell you enough, but you're beautiful, selfless, kind and so intelligent! I love you, Rylan. I am so lucky to have found such a fairytale princess.”

Rylan blushes, not noticing Hayle smiling and turning away to do other things than ask them if they had drowned in there.

“You give me a little too much credit, I'm not selfless, I keep wanting to be with you and find ways to do so”

He smiles slightly, leaning his forehead on River’s chest, feeling pretty happy he has him there, knowing he would probably be all over the pace if River wasn’t there. 

Vy nods at Chris.

“Thank you...”

Sits down on the toilet just waiting and trying to calm himself down while Chris watches both of them, putting a hand on Hayden's forehead to check that his temperature is going down as it should, then looks at Vy. 

“Are you okay? I know these are scary, they freaked us out the first times they happened.” “Is his temperature going down?”

he looks at Hayden then back at Chris

“Y-yes. I'm okay, I guess... “

Now that the panic has gone down has started trembling from the cold, Chris noticing it, getting a heated blanket that they have, plugging it in and wrapping it around Vy.

“It is, much thanks to you helping him into the tub quickly.”

Hayden opens his eyes watching them, feeling a little like he is inside a bubble, observing the "outside world" while not actually feeling a part off it. Vy holding on to the blanket giving Hayden a quick smile.

“Was it scary for you too the first time this happened, mister Chris?” “Very, and we had no idea what would help him then, neither did he, so unlike now, when we know its a matter of forcing his body temperature back down.”

He looks at his son for a bit, with a bit of sadness in his eyes. 

“Well, let's just say it was a very rough week.” “Month dad.. month.."

he looks at the two off them, fairly angry with himself for not having mentioned these to Vy, but he had honestly just about forgot about them himself, after Vy moved in they had been gone. Vy looks at Hayden and stands up with renewed confidence.

But now I know and we know what to do. Cold water and cola!”

He nods and walks closer kneeling down next to the tub, looking at Chris and then at Hayden.

“Maybe I can take the heat and that help Hayden gets better faster so we can have Christmas together.” "Only if it doesn't make you too tired, I want you to enjoy your first Christmas, not end up with you in bed instead of me...” 

He put's a hand on Vy's chin, even with all the cold water he is still warmer than him.

“I'd rather lie on the sofa and watch than you lying on the sofa.”

He knows his body will probably freak out with the temperature change but really wants Hayden to enjoy Christmas with them, to him, it is more important than how he feels after.

“I'll be okay!”

He puts one hand on Hayden's chest, over his heart and the other on his cheek. He starts shinning blue as there seems to Syphon energy between them, the heat on Hayden's body transferring to him and cold energy passing into Hayden, replacing the heat, lowering his temperature. This goes on for a few minutes, Vy starts trembling as his scales reveal as well as horns. He pulls back falling back on his butt disoriented as his body is trying to adapt to the heat he took from Hayden.

“I'm okay!”

Chris lifts an eyebrow as he watches Vy heal his son, he has, of course, heard about it, but this is the first time he actually sees it.

“Hey.. are you okay there Vy?” 

Hayden tries to protest when he realizes like always Vy is pushing it, looking at his dad when he falls back. 

“Can you please take him outside, he'll need light to get some energy back..I'm fine to sit here alone for a bit”

He looks worriedly that it was too much and that his friend ends up on a sofa, which he hates the thought off, so he wants to make sure he gets some off his energy back. Vy gets up slowly, his body feels like it's running a nasty fever.

“no, you can stay... Mister Chris... I'm okay. Just... Weird... I'll... I'll go sit outside a bit. I am okay, I promise.”

He wobbles a bit unsteady out of the room, realizing he took way too much heat to himself

“Just come get me when it's time for us to have dinner!”

Hayden looks worried at Vy as he wobbles out of the room, knowing he needs help. 

“Please check that he is okay dad, I'll be just fine here.” 

For a second ponders on dragging himself out of the tub, but he knows that would nullify what Vy just did for him, and he doesn't want that.

“I know he says he is fine, but I need to be sure..”

He sighs, that old feeling of being a burden sneaking its way back into his head.

“Okay, I'll just make sure he is okay, you stay right?”

Chris winks at his son before walking after Vy, catching up to him.

“Sorry Vy, but you do not look okay, and no good "parent" would let you alone when you wobble like that. Let me help you, so my son can worry just a little less?”

Vy jumps startled when Chris comes over to him, looking at him confused at him. 

“parent?... o-okay... I just need to sit... in the sun and snow... A little... “

He shivers, glowing orange, his body feels unnaturally hot to touch.

“Can you help me outside...?” “Well, I know I am not your parent, but I kinda see you a little like I see my own kids, so I want to make sure you are okay.”

He nod's, carefully lifting Vy up, noticing he feels a lot like Hayden does when he is too warm along with the glow, telling him all he needs to know about him not being okay. Taking him outside, the last rays of the days sun still there.

“Do you need the sun or is the moon enough?“ “Moon is alright. It's not so much the sub itself but starlight.” 

He lets Chris set him down in the snow letting his wings sprang free, laying over the snow.

“I took too much heat and my body freaked out... It's kinda used to the cold by now...”

He hugs knees looking back at Chris, the glow of his body becomes green but not happy one, instead showing he's adapting and replenishing. 

“You see me as one of your kids?... Really? But I am weird and I glow and I chirp and... I really like Hayden. I was going to tell him that...”

Chris sit's down next to him, wanting to make sure he is okay, while still easily monitoring Hayden while there.

“It's kinda hard not to, you look about the same age as our kids, you live here with us. And it's not just me who feels that way, my husband does too. You have just become part of our family I think, and that makes you one of our kids.”

He looks up at the stars for a bit, putting a hand on Vy’s shoulder, smiling at him. 

“And this family does not care about weird, being one dragon god, one reaper merman thing, two demigod sea dragon kids... I think you fit in with the rest of us just perfectly. And tell him how you feel, I can guess that the headache just ruined your first chance. But it is Christmas eve, and I am sure it will give you more chances.” “I want to tell him! I want to kiss him. It's so strange. You don't kiss just anyone but I want to kiss Hayden and I want Hayden to always be well.

He fidgets with one of his feathers, it's slightly crystalline and cold, he plucks it looking and the feather.

“I want to stay here with all of you...I feel safe here, with Hayden and Rylan and mister Hayle and you...” “Well, this is your home now, so unless you want to leave, you can stay. And I guess kissing is special for your kind?” “Yes. It's sacred. You only kiss who you wish to share your life with, your Heartlight.

He smiles just watching him, the feather slightly worrying to him, but as it doesn't seem to bother Vy too much, he hopes it is okay, Vy’s glow turns pink as he  is holding his hand over his chest

“I'd give my heart to hay hay...” 

He thinks about something then shakes head, giving Chris the feather.

“I don't have any presents for you or mister Hayle... But they turn to crystal over time... “

he plucks another feather, with a very small wince and gives it to Chris also.

“Thank you for allowing me to stay here, with Hay hay”

He stretches his body temperature normalizing, making him feel a lot better already. 

“I'm really okay now mister Chris. You can go check on Hayden. I'll go in soon.”

Chris just listens to him while he talks lifting an eyebrow over the giving away his heart, but remembering his husband mentioning his kind had two.

“Then I think you should tell him later, maybe make it his Christmas present, that is known in this world as giving someone their heart.

Looks at the feathers.

“Thank you, Vy, for staying here, and caring for our son. He is beyond lucky to have you. And yes, I'll go check on him and come get you when it's time for dinner unless you come in first.

He gently squeezes his shoulder, smiling at him before walking inside, and then upstairs to check on his son. Vy smiles and watches Chris leave, rubbing his wings and leaning back, just enjoying the moonlight, wings opening fully in light to take in as much light as they can.

“Hay hay, I love you...”

As Chris enters the bathroom, he gets a very worried look form the one lying in the tub

“Is he okay?” “Yes, he will be okay.”  “I need to stop letting him do that!”  “It clearly worked though. 

He points at him being in human form, even though he is in the water. 

“It did.. I just.. it scares me when he falls like that...” “I know, and I know why it scares you so much. You need to tell him how you feel, it is an honest way to handle it, and much fairer to both of you. And I am not referring to the whole worried, but how you actually feel about him.” ”Fine... I just need to find the right time.” “Tonight might bring that, with Christmas magic and all, you want out of the tub now or?” “Yeah...”

🎶

Beginning - Previous - Next

[prorevenge]

Oh SO You Want To Kick Me Out Of My New Job? Then Enjoy Being Unemployed, Sued, And Blacklisted!

Warning: This is a long story!

Of course, I inquired why Asswipe isn't in the meeting while I'm being interviewed. The answer I got from RH was along the lines of: "well, technically Asswipe isn't the IT manager anymore, and our arrangement with him is that he will stay as the interim IT head until his contract has ended and not renewed." Basically, the "employment" of Asswipe has already ended sometime in the past, and that he is more or less just a consultant at this point. Asswipe is also almost always "working from home" so he would be unavailable for meetings. RH added that they are hiring me to eventually replace Asswipe when I learned enough of the business and the systems that the IT department is managing. I found this kind of odd but I was like "whatever" and never gave it much thought.

So eventually, I resigned from my (then) current employer despite them throwing me a very attractive counter offer (very bad move on my part) and started my new role at company X after a couple of months.

Day 1. The first day was okay. There were around 5 new hires aside from me, and we were all from different departments. We were taken by our recruiter (RC) to a nice meeting place outside the office to attend the usual onboarding session for new employees. I went home with a smile that day, looking forward to meet my new team when tomorrow comes. I felt that everything would be perfect from then on. Oh boy was I wrong...

Day 2. I came in an hour early so I opted to sit on the couch outside of the HR office while waiting for RC to arrive. Good thing one of the new hires was early as well, so I had somebody to chat with. After about thirty minutes, RC finally came in. She greeted and escorted us to a meeting room where we filled out some paperwork. I was seated on the side of the room where I have a full view of the lobby through a glass window. A few minutes went by when I noticed a man passing by the lobby. He has neck-long hair, wore huge eyeglasses, and was a bit on the chubby side. He's dressed quite decently though. RC whispered to me: "/u/padodo123, that is Asswipe, your manager". I felt a bit nervous as this will be the first time I am meeting him. RC stepped out of the office and had a chat with Asswipe, probably informing him of my presence. RC returned and told me that Asswipe cannot meet me right now because he is engaged with something important. I replied with: "oh, okay" and continued on with the papers.

That morning, RC gave us (the new hires) a tour of the facility, jumping from office to office, and showed us to everyone. Along the way, we met NL, who greeted me and the rest of the newbies with her sweet motherly voice. She's a bit in a hurry for a meeting but promised to have a chat with me soonest. We continued on with the tour. The rest of the staff were generally pleasant, and the atmosphere is friendly and light, at least, until we reached the IT department's office. The moment the door opened, I felt heavy air rushing through me, and the environment was somewhat tense. RC introduced us one by one, and then told the IT guys that I am their new assistant IT manager. I greeted them with a smile and expressed my excitement to be working with them finally. Nobody responded, though I saw a few forced smiles here and there. RC pointed me to the direction of Asswipe and introduced us formally. We were on the door, and Asswipe is sitting on his table which is situated at the other end of the room. Asswipe had this smug look on his face and without saying a word, nodded at me, then continued on with what he was doing on his computer. I felt quite disappointed by his behavior, acting like that being a manager and all, but I thought maybe he's just having a rough day. We left after a few minutes and carried on with the tour. Before the day ended, I got my laptop and system access from the system admin (this guy is silent, but generally okay) before clocking out.

Day 3. I headed straight to the IT department for my "first working day". Nobody except the girl sitting on a desk in the front row was present... maybe I'm just too early. She recognized me and told me that Asswipe wanted her to show me the back area (where they keep the supplies, parts, and do repairs). So we went to the area, and I was offered a desk - it is all messy with wires, computer parts and who-knows-what sitting on there. I settled in and opened my computer to test my email, access and whatnot. There were three technicians in the room that time. They were friendly and we had some nice conversation. I also had a Skype call with RH and he walked me through the entire IT organization. I inquired about Asswipe and he told me that he already sent him an email, and that I can talk to the guy tomorrow. The day ended with me staying at the back area, with Asswipe nowhere in sight.

Day 4. I again arrived early and with nowhere else to go, sat on my "desk". No emails coming in of course, since I haven't been doing any work yet. Eventually, I heared from the other side of door that Asswipe has arrived. I waited for a few minutes so he can settle down, then I went to the front area and walked to his desk. I gave my usual greetings and pleasantries, but what I really wanted was to talk with him about my role and tasks as his new assistant IT manager. He dismissed me and told me he will just send me a mail as he is doing something important. I didn't like this. I am a generally nice guy but I don't mix well with people who wastes my time and disrespects me. I tried hard not to make a fuzz out of it, agreed, and went back to my desk, waiting for his email that never came. That night, I was already having second thoughts about my decision of joining this company.

Day 5. No emails from Asswipe, though I got a lunch out invite from NL, which I accepted. I pinged RM. He then arranged a meeting for the three of us. After a while I was told that Asswipe declined the invitation but suggested another time. RH is unavailable for the suggested schedule but I told him that me and Asswipe can push through anyway. Come afternoon, I was sitting on one chair in front of Asswipe's desk, and we started to talk. However, instead of discussing about my tasks, responsibilities, and his expectations, he pulled out a copy of my resume and started "interviewing" me. I was puzzled. I politely told him that I am already hired and there is no longer a need for an interview. His face turned from grumpy to sour, and then began questioning my qualifications. He nagged about how I am unfit for the role and why I was hired without him approving it. His voice went to loud to really loud to shouting. This went on and on until I had enough. Needless to say, I engaged in a shouting contest with him, to the horror of everybody watching. "I don't like you, go back to where you came from" he said. I replied with "Don't worry, I don't like you too" and stormed out of the room. To be honest if we are not inside the office, he probably already met my fist and the ground.

I went to the HR office and looked for the employee relations officer (ER). Asswipe followed me but stayed at the door, giving me sharp glances that can slice potatoes. ER met me and I told him what happened. He invited me to a room along with the HR manager. We discussed the whole ordeal and I told them how disappointed I was. I almost resigned that instant but they asked me to calm down and reconsider, and that they would do something about it. Day ended with me leaving work early. I forgot to bring my laptop home though because, you know.

Day 6. I was hesistant to report to the office due to what happend the week prior, but because I was able to relax at the beach with the chicks during the weekend *devil face*, I got my composure back. I am also looking forward to the "action" ER told me that he would do.

When I arrived at the office, NL was there waiting for me. She inquired about what happened and how am I doing. She invited me upstairs to their department and ushered me to a nice looking desk. She said that I will temporarily be staying there until we resolve the conflict. I already met the people there and they are all nice. They told me about what they heared and was actually not surprised of how Asswipe acted. I learned from them that Asswipe is actually known to be a prick and a real nuisance to everyone. He acts as if he's the owner and I'm the only person who stood up to him. You see, before company X was acquired by it's now parent company, it was a family business. Being the only IT guy that time, Asswipe was able to introduce innovations to the company with the help of technology. He also only hired entry level people and never taught them too much, maybe so that he can have an advantage over the company (security of tenure). He threatened to "leave" the company on several occassions, of which each time the owner tried to win him back by addressing his demands (doubling his salary). Poor lady. Asswipe bacame the highest paid employee by then. When the acquisition was completed though, his antics no longer worked, and when he tried to resign one last time, it was accepted. However since he is the only person capable of running the IT services, company X cannot get rid of him right away. They then settled with the contract that I have mentioned earlier. How I wished I have learned about this before signing the job offer :(

As expected, Asswipe didn't report that day. My laptop is also nowhere to be found, and I wondered why lol. Meanwhile, there was a commotion going on around the facility. Apparently, the system that everybody uses just refused to work out of the blue, causing transactions to fail. I also wondered why lol. Luckily, we were able to put up an interim solution so that production can still continue, while we are investigating the root cause of the problem. Unfortunately, we were locked out of the server and had no way of accessing it or the system logs. (Only Asswipe knows the password). Somebody tried to contact him to no avail. We ended up phoning the server support and asked for assistance.

That evening, the support guys came and worked on our server. We went home (except the night shift technicians) and were promised a report early morning.

Day 7. I was issued a new laptop since the one I used last week went "missing". I read the report from the server guys and was "shocked" to find out that the downtime was actually caused by somebody deleting several files and records, and stopped scheduled jobs from running. Of course we already have a clue who is behind this but we have no evidence to back it up since all logs were wiped out and the person was able to hide his tracks. Or so he thought. Well, the mistake is that even though transaction logs can be removed, connecting to the VPN to access the server will create a separate record that would show the IP address of the person making the connection. The IP address just happened to be the one Asswipe is always using, since he has an office "extension" at home, where the internet is paid for by the company. The time of the VPN session "incidentally" aligns with the time the issue was first reported. Hmmmm... What's more is that the username that was used to log in on the network was Asswipe's. Not very bright huh. Both GM and RH were informed, and police was contacted as well.

Day 8. I was told that some talks happened which ended with us taking back posession of Asswipe's laptop. The laptop was then sent to another facility for investigation. By this time, the system is back and running, though a lot of transactions were needed to be redone. GM apparently called Asswipe, told him of the findings, and threatened to sue him if he will not respond to the company's demands, the demands being that: 1) He return his laptop, company issued phone, and any other company-related items in his posession; and 2) Perform training for the IT staff on how to operate the systems he previously exclusively handled and provide thorough documentation. He was not allowed to come anywhere near the facility or any branches of the company though, so these training sessions need to be done somewhere else. Asswipe complied.

------

The training sessions lasted for 4 weeks, with them meeting twice a week. For every session, a guard and the company lawyer was always present. After everything was settled, Asswipe was set free. Though, he is forever banned from being rehired in company X and all companies under it's parent organization. It all went well for me and company X from then on, but this is not yet the ending.

------

A few weeks have passed. Me and a colleague were doing some inventory and basic auditing when we stumbled upon a few anomalies. There were purchases made in the past that have no official receipts to them, and all we found were petty cash vouchers that you can buy at all bookstores. The purchases constitute of processors, motherboards, power supplies, and RAM sticks. What's more intriguing is that the prices were blown up, almost double than the usual prices in the market. We dug up for more info and found records for all these purchases. It turns out that the company has been "in business" with whoever the seller is for years already. There were remarks on these questionable items saying that they were "bought from an onlne seller" and that "Asswipe met them somewhere to do the transactions". There's a company name and website listed for the seller but no contact number. We tried to open the website but the page was not found. I tried to do a whois domain lookup - and whaaa laaa.... it was actually owned by somebody with a very fictitious name. I was hoping to see Asswipe's name here but oh well. However, there is an email address associated with the domain, and guess who's personal email it was.....

We documented our findings and reported it to GM and RH. Last I heard, he was being sued by the company, but this time it is for real. Also, the laptop previously issued to him was sent back to us. The forensics team was able to squeeze out lots of evidence against him from the said equipment. Bonus: I found an email sent from his account which dates all the way back on Day 5. Asswipe was apparently blackmailing GM, that he will resign immediately and he will only retract his resignation if "the new guy" was removed. Needless to say, this didn't worked. Adding salt to the would, Asswipe was also blacklisted on several IT groups and organizations. Goodluck to him finding a new job :)

(source) story by (/u/padodo123)

[ilovemesomekillianjones]

Holding On to Pieces of Us - Chapter 3

SMUT advisory! @spartanguard I am so excited to see what you have up your sleeve for this chapter. Thank you @hollyethecurious for beta services rendered. @kmomof4 CSSNS fucking rocks, thank you! I put in my cut line!!!!!! **Edited to include what @spartanguard had up her sleeve! Go check out her fabulous manip here. 

Ch. 3      Rating E      8.5k words     ao3     ffnet   Tumblr:  ch. 1    ch. 2

Emma was woken by loud pounding on her door and two concerned voices yelling her name. Rising from the couch she squinted at the blazing sunlight filtering in through her window. “Coming!” she shouted with annoyance.

“Oh my god, Emma! Where the hell have you been?” Mary Margaret’s words were as strong as the hug she wrapped Emma in. “We’ve been so worried.”

David hugged both women, sighing in relief, “Thank god, you’re okay.”

“I’m fine guys.” Emma broke away from the group hug, and sheltered her eyes while walking to the window to draw the curtain.

“Where were you?” Mary Margaret pressed.

“Wait, how’d you know I was back?”

“Your car is in the driveway,” David said as if it should be obvious.

Emma’s eyes went wide, before quickly schooling her features. “Geez, I’ve been gone like a day. I went for a hike after my appointment and got stranded in the rain, I decided to find high ground and rough it.” She immediately regretted mentioning the appointment when she saw both of their eyebrows raise in expectation.

“So? What’d they say?”

“I have uh… it’s just a vitamin deficiency. In fact, that reminds me, I have to go pick up my prescriptions.”

“Come out with us for breakfast, first?” Mary Margaret asked.

“No, I can’t, I have to shower, when I got home last night I went straight to bed. I’ll catch up with you guys later, okay?” She wasn’t trying to be rude as she ushered them toward the door. But she had to figure this out. How the hell did she get home? How was her car back? How much time had she lost?

“Alright, we can take a hint,” David said, throwing his arm around her shoulder and giving her a half hug. “Dinner tonight?”

“Perfect.”  

“Our place or yours?” he asked.

“Mine.” Emma slapped a smile on her face, ready to agree to anything just to get them out of the house.

“And never, ever do that to us again. Call or text… or something.”

“Got it, mama bear,” Emma ribbed Mary Margaret. “Who knew I’d have such wonderful parents as an adult, after a childhood with none.”

“I’m going to start taking that nickname as a compliment,” Mary Margaret laughed.

Emma just rolled her eyes, smile still firmly in place until she shut the door behind them.  

“What the hell?” She was more confused than ever now. She’d finally gone completely off the deep end and created that alternate universe where it was just her and Killian, but she had also blocked out a complete period of time where she would’ve had to drive herself home.

Deciding to investigate, she walked out to her car, but not before donning her darkest pair of sunglasses. “It’s so fucking bright,” she muttered, the irony was not lost on her that the weather was in direct opposition to her current mood.

Opening up her car, she sat down in the driver’s seat and was immediately assaulted by his scent. It was just as strong as her imagination had conjured last night. She was about to go back inside when she noticed that the seat was scooted too far back, she pressed the toggle to adjust it to her settings.

Reaching over to grab her jacket from the passenger seat, she startled slightly as she remembered she also wasn’t able to account for how she’d come to be in different clothes than she’d worn yesterday.  When she lifted the jacket a piece of paper fell in her lap, picking it up Emma was bewildered to see Killian’s unique handwriting.  

Swan,

Please forgive me love, I did not want to leave you last night. I have been away from you for too long and I was ill prepared for your presence. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to control myself. As promised, I will return to you tonight.

Yours,

Killian

“Oh my god! It was real?” Emma’s free hand flew to her neck, praying for the mark upon her body that would further prove he existed.

Grabbing all her belongings that had been magically waiting in her car, including her phone Emma raced back into the house.  Her heartbeat was frantic as she approached her bathroom, hand still caressing her neck.  When Emma looked in the mirror and revealed the area, she was exhilarated to see two faint puncture marks. She didn’t even care if it was insane. Killian was alive! Well, technically undead, but he was still in this world.

There was so much to do. She started with a long, hot shower where she washed away the grime from her wilderness trip and the anguish of a year. After dressing in leggings and a tank top, and primping for the day, a day where she would see Killian, she cracked open her laptop. She researched everything she could about vampires, searched the world wide web like an addict, until her stomach audibly protested its neglect over the last two days.

Steak, Emma thought. Steak sounded beyond divine. She didn’t really feel like sitting out at a restaurant by herself, yet she didn’t want company, at least not the company of anyone who was available. Running to the grocery store she bought a family size pack of boneless ribeyes and headed for home. She pulled out all she needed to prepare one of her favorite steaks, thinly sliced garlic inserted into slits in the steak, marinated in worcestershire and barbecued to medium well.

The moment she set to her task though she felt as if she was going to lose her lunch, a lunch she hadn’t eaten. Chalking it up to being over hungry, she forewent the prep.  Emma practically skipped outside to light the barbecue and threw the slab of meat on the grill. It smelled divine as she waited impatiently for it to finish cooking. Medium will do, she thought as she plated up her very plain steak.

Emma cursed her impatience as she felt the sting along her skin from standing too close to the barbecue for too long. As she cut into the steak though, she realized she couldn’t have been standing there too long as the steak was rare, not medium, or medium rare, but rare rare. And it looked delectable.

She practically moaned when the first bite graced her palette. It was so tender and juicy… and bloody. Her eyes popped open, having closed them in delight of the first taste.  “No way,” she murmured. Sensitivity to the brightness of the sun, aversion to garlic, skin tingling after standing outside, eating a bloody steak? “Am I…” Emma’s hands shot to her mouth where she felt her teeth, no fangs, she thought with an air of disappointment.

She laughed out loud at the absurdity of her situation. Either she was experiencing some post bite symptoms, or she was psychosomatically exuding vampire traits.  Either way, what the ever loving fuck? She’d been ready to call it quits two days ago, now she had a renewed vigor for life, or whatever she would be living with Killian.  Because yes, she already knew her answer. She wasn’t going to live without him for one more moment, she was going to embrace a future with him, even if it was different than the one she’d hoped for a year ago.  

Emma spent the remainder of her day researching more about vampires and tidying up her place, even the bedroom that she hadn’t slept in for a year. She had every intention of bedding her man tonight, she would’ve last night if given the chance.  She freshened up and dressed for the evening while the sheets finished drying, then made the bed. Dusk was settling outside and her body tingled in anticipation. She chuckled when she heard the knock on her door.  He was earlier than she’d have thought was possible for him to be out. But perhaps so long as the sun wasn’t shining, he was okay, or maybe he was just as impatient as her.

“You don’t have to knock, you’ve obviously taken to coming and going as you please,” she called out as she walked to the door.

“Hi!” Mary Margaret and David greeted enthusiastically.

“Hi,” Emma croaked, after staring blankly at them for a good five seconds.

“And what do you mean coming and going as we please?” Mary Margaret questioned.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure we were more than entitled to stop by this morning after you went missing,” David added. “And we’re invited tonight!”

“Right, of course, “ Emma said. “I thought you were somebody, uh, nevermind. My mistake, you are most definitely allowed to check up on me, and yes, I did in fact invite you over tonight.” Fuck, fuck, fuck. What could she tell them, she couldn’t say she forgot, or wasn’t feeling well. She was all dolled up, hair, some light makeup, a dress, heels. Shit!

“You’re so dressed up... oh my gosh! Do you have a date tonight? You look like you’re ready to go on a date. Oh my god, she has a date,” Mary Margaret gushed. “I’m so happy for you, Emma! Let us get out of your hair.”

“I don’t have a-”

“Give her the wine, David. Maybe she and this mystery man want to get a little liquored up.”

“I don’t-”

“Do we know him? Nevermind, details tomorrow! Let’s go honey,” Mary Margaret told David all but pushing him back through the still open door.

“I don’t have a date,” Emma yelled, then softly added, “as such.” Because really, how was she going to explain that she was going to see her missing boyfriend who was now a vampire? How was she going to explain that her friends weren’t going to see her again? She wasn’t questioning her decision, of that she was one hundred percent decided. But the finer points, the particulars, those were going to take more thought than she’d even thought to consider.  

“You got all dressed up for us?” David asked suspiciously.

She wasn’t going to lie to them, but she didn’t feel like just busting out with the truth was going to help matters either. David would have her 5150’d before Killian got there. Turning swiftly, she headed to the kitchen where she uncorked the bottle of wine, took out three glasses, poured every last drop evenly between them, promptly handed her guests their drinks then drank deeply before either could offer up a toast.  

“Look, I don’t know how to possibly say what I need to say without you both thinking that I need to be committed. I’m just going to have to show you. But while we wait, let me tell you about my appointment.”

“You’re kind of not making too much sense, Emma, are you sure you’re okay?” Mary Margaret asked.

“I’m sure I am going to be,” she answered cryptically.

“What are we waiting for?” David asked.

“You’ll know it when you see it, of that I am sure.”

“Ooookay,” Mary Margaret drew out her word as though she already thought Emma was crazy. “Then while we wait for the big reveal I want to hear about these vitamin deficiencies and what the doctor is doing to fix them.”

“Well we still have to eat right? How does steak sound?”

The Nolan’s both nodded their heads signaling that steak sounded great. “I’ll go light up the grill,” David said. He barbequed the steaks while Emma and Mary Margaret prepared a salad and roasted potatoes.

After some small talk about office gossip and the latest cases while dinner was prepared, the trio sat down to eat. “So, Emma, what’s the news?” David asked.

“So, it turns out I don’t have any vitamin deficiencies after all.”

“Well that’s good news,” Mary Margaret beamed.

“I actually have stage four brain cancer,” Emma said, cutting into her steak and avoiding eye contact. She didn’t want to see their pity, but this could hopefully bolster the support she would want from them when it came time to tell them when, why, and how she was leaving them.

Mary Margaret’s fork and knife clattered to her plate and she fixed Emma with a stern glare. “That’s not even funny!”

David just stared at Emma, mouth slightly ajar, silently assessing her demeanor.

“It’s not supposed to be funny, M. It’s not a joke.” Emma spoke in a low voice before glancing briefly at her friends pain filled eyes.  Hopefully Killian would get there soon so she could tell them that despite her diagnosis, she was not sentenced to death.

“What are the treatment options? When do you start? How can we help? We’ll have to talk to HR to get you taken off the rota-”

“David, I, uh, I’m not going to seek treatment, it won’t be nece-”

David stood up from the table so hastily that the chair flew back and tipped over hitting the floor with a clatter. “What the hell do you mean you’re not getting treated? Over my dead body!”

Mary Margaret began to sob loudly in her seat as David stood with his hands on his hips, face red with anger. This was not at all how she had seen things playing out. Where the fuck is Killian? “As I was saying, treatment won’t be necessary.”

“Why the hell are you just giving up?”

“I’m not giving up. I… I promise this will all be explained in just a few minutes.  Let’s just finish our dinner.”

“I’ve lost my goddamn appetite,” David cursed, causing another loud sob to burst from Mary Margaret who could count on one hand how many times she’d ever heard her husband curse. He calmly turned around, picked his chair up off the floor and pushed it in, then walked outside.

“Oh, Emma,” Mary Margaret sniffed, “please tell us what we can do to change your mind.  You just have to get treatment. Not even trying is like giving up hope.” Reaching her hand across the table she squeezed Emma’s. “Back when Killian... disappeared, I- I don’t remember everything. But I remember that whatever happened snapped something inside of me, I broke… but David came to see me everyday, and then you came to see me. And I knew I had to fight. I knew I needed to hope for the best. Believing in the possibility of getting better could be a powerful- holy shit! Daviiiid!!” Mary Margaret screeched at the top of her lungs.

Emma listened as her friend started in on one of her hope speeches, when suddenly Mary Margaret paled, cursed, then screamed for her husband, all right before her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted right out of her chair before Emma could do anything.  

“Bloody Hell!”

Emma’s head whipped around toward Killian’s voice, “Thank goodness you’re here!”

“Maybe I should come back at a better time?”

“NO! This is the perfect time. The shit has hit the fan, David is ready to haul me to the hospital to receive involuntary treatment, and Mary Margaret is about to preach hope like never before.”

“What the hell is going on?” David shouted running in from out back. “What is the scream- Who… I… Wha- Emma, what the fuck? Is this why you’re all dressed up?”

Emma couldn’t help it, none of this was good, but it wasn’t bad either, she giggled. “I told you, you’d know it when you saw it.”

“This isn’t funny Emma, my wife is passed out, and you’ve taken to finding a stand in for your dead boyfriend. No offense,” David added cordially, looking at the man in black leather.

“None taken, mate,” Killian smiled.

“Wow, you really do look just like him, and you got the accent down. Is it real, or did she ask you to talk like that?”

“I assure you, it’s real.”

“David!” Emma chastised. “I didn’t ask him to do any such thing. This is Killian, the real Killian.” Emma was now on the floor with Mary Margaret’s head cradled in her lap. Her friend was still out cold.

“Enough, Emma. Do you have any idea what this could do to her if she wakes up and this rent-a-Killian is here, do you even remember what happened to her when he disappeared?”

“Of course I remember,” Emma snapped. “I remember every painful moment of the last year.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

“I’m not doing anything. He’s real, David, and I don’t care if you believe me. I can explain everything if you’d give me the chance.”

“Fine, but I want him out of here for when Mary Margaret wakes up. I don’t want this putting her back in the hospital.”

“Fine,” Emma answered petulantly. Apparently not everyone was going to warm up to this development as quickly as she had. “Can you wait in our room, just for now. Please don’t leave though, Killian?”

“As you wish,” was all he answered before he vanished from the spot he had been occupying.

Emma rolled her eyes, “He always did have a flair for the dramatic, wouldn’t you say?”

David didn’t answer. He was frozen in his spot, jaw hanging open, eyes wide as saucers.

“Close your mouth, you look ridiculous.”

David snapped his jaw shut then scrubbed both his hands over his face and through his hair. “Just what the everloving fuck is going on, Emma!”

“Keep your voice down! Your wife is going to have a meltdown if you don’t get your foul mouth under control.”

“She’s already having a meltdown! Explain. Now.”

Emma stood up and grabbed Mary Margaret below each arm, “A little help?”

David grabbed his wife’s ankles and they moved her to the couch. Returning to sit at the table, they stared at each other for a moment before Emma began the whole tale. Everything from her hallucinations that weren’t hallucinations, to Scarlet’s arrest, to her diagnosis, to her trek into the woods, to the discovery that Killian was their vigilante killer, and finally to what he was and what he could offer her.  

“Now if you need more proof that it’s really Killian, then you’re going to have to talk with him. I’m sure there are things he can say or do that will convince you.”

David’s jaw was having a hard time staying in the correct position tonight. He felt as though he might need to physically hold it up. Either Emma was completely mad, or the world as he knew it was changed forever. He looked over at his sleeping wife, wondering if she’d be able to handle this development, and was startled to see she was awake with silent tears spilling down her cheeks.

Rushing to her, he knelt down by her side and slid one arm under her back and one under her knees. “Come on, it’s late, let’s get home.”

“No,” Mary Margaret whispered. She sat up and looked first at Emma, and then at David.  “I want to know. I need to know if it’s him.”

David sat down next to his wife, and wrapped her hands in his. Looking at Emma with a pleading look in his eyes, he beseeched her one final time. “I want to believe you, Emma. Really, I do. But if this is some kind of hoax, or twisted reality you’ve created, I’m begging you to stop it now.”

“I swear to you both, it’s not,” Emma vowed, while walking over to take a seat.

“Are you sure, hon?” David asked Mary Margaret who nodded her head vigorously in response. “Bring him out then.”

“Okay.” But before Emma could even call his name, he reappeared, this time sitting on the loveseat along the opposite wall of the couch, right next to where Emma had sat down.

“Oh!” Mary Margaret yelped, hand clutching her chest.

“Sorry, Snow.”

Mary Margaret’s sharp inhale morphed into a slightly hysterical laugh. “Oh my gosh! It’s him!”

“What?” David and Emma asked in unison.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Emma started, “I know it’s him, but what the hell happened in point five seconds that has you convinced?”

“He called me Snow.”

David and Emma shared a confused look.

“It’s an inside joke,” Mary Margaret said. “When David took me to Cabo for a week, I came back bragging about my tan. Killian laughed at me and said I was still white as snow. He even went so far as to show me that his arms were still tanner than mine and he hadn’t even had to leave dreary Maine for it. Ever since then he’s called me Snow.”

Emma laughed at the simplicity. “Well there you go Sir Skeptical, your wife is a believer. And here I always thought he was making fun of you because you always get so excited when it snows.”

Looking at David, it was apparent that he was still a bit unsure.

“Come on, mate. What do I have to do to convince you? Your favorite drink is the daiquiri, even though you rarely order them because you don’t want the guys to laugh at you. You have a thing for fairies, Tinkerbell, Crysta, even the fairy godmother in Shrek. You prefer loose fitting boxers to boxer briefs because you don’t want your boys to suffocate, oh and you... eh, you like that thing the wifey does… you know with her pinky fing-”

“Alright, that’s enough Jones!” David’s blush shot from his neck to the tips of his ears.

Mary Margaret burst out laughing, while Emma had a look of distaste on her face, “TMI Killian, but you got him! He’s a believer.”

David finally let out a chuckle. “Of all the shit you know about me, you chose to start with those?”

“You could’ve stopped me at anytime, Dave.”

“I’m starving,” Mary Margaret cut in, “let’s eat and you can tell us all about the past year.” She sounded so enthusiastic one would think she was talking to a friend who’d left to explore the world.

The four settled at the table and Killian regaled them with his tales from life as a vampire. Although he left no detail out, he did make sure to censor the gorier parts.

“Lately I’ve been exploring Cartographer’s Bluff. Do you remember that portal I told you about Swan? When we took our first camping trip?”

Emma nodded, while Mary Margaret and David looked at him cluelessly.

“I’ve heard rumors for years that there’s a portal to another… realm, a place where a diverse spread of supernatural beings live. It’s why the maps we look at show more land than we see when we are hiking.  That land does exist, but it was cursed, locked away beyond a portal that isn’t visible to the human eye. Supposedly the supernaturals lived in secret among humans for years, but over time people started to suspect something otherworldly about the community in general and so they decided it best to go into hiding to protect themselves.”

“Have you found it?” Emma asked.

“I did, it’s a very faint field protecting the area, but I can see it. I haven’t had the nerve to crossover.”

“Why not?” David asked. “Don’t you want to see what else is out there?”

“Of course, but I guess a part of me always wished, or hoped that I’d be with Emma again. I don’t know if the portal is open to come and go as I please, or if I’d be trapped there forever.”

“You’ll always have me now.” Emma reached out for his hand and squeezed it when he laced their fingers together.  

“Ha!” Mary Margaret exclaimed. Placing her hand on top of both of their hands she smirked at Killian. “Guess you can’t call me Snow anymore, seeing as I’m waaaay more tan than you now, and I didn’t even have to leave dreary Maine to do it.” She laughed heartily as she mocked his own words.

“It would seem you are correct, it only took my death to achieve this feat,” he deadpanned.

Mary Margaret’s laughter immediately ceased, and her eyes turned down sadly.

“Snow, it was a joke. Please forgive me, it’s too soon for such flippancy.”

“No, it’s not that. I just… it made me realize that your solution to Emma’s condition is to make her a vampire. Does that mean that you two will leave?” The woman’s big green eyes filled with tears again as she contemplated losing her friend.

“We haven’t thought that far in advance,” Emma said hurriedly, trying to head off a huge discussion before she and Killian had a chance to discuss it themselves. “I promise you both I won’t disappear again without telling you where I’m going.”

“Emma and I still have a lot to figure out, but you guys will be the first to know outside of us,” Killian added.

David and his wife both nodded their heads solemnly, taking their friends at their words. After finishing dinner, cleaning up, and the reiteration of promises, the couple took their leave. They were wise enough to know the couple needed this time to formulate their plans.  

As soon as the door shut Emma turned to Killian and launched herself into his waiting arms. “Don’t ever fucking do that again!” She hugged him with all her might and relished the feel of his arms wrapping strongly around her.

“Oi! Such language. You kiss me with that mouth?”

“You’ve never complained before.”

“I suppose not. Now what is it I’m not to do again?”

“You are never to disappear or magically poof me away and leave without a word again.”

“It was for your safety. I was having a hard time controlling myself with you, always have.”

Emma looked up at him with a seriousness in her gaze, but momentarily found herself lost in the bright blue hue of his eyes tonight. “Your eyes are so blue tonight, they were pale yesterday.”

“I wasn’t properly prepared yesterday. Tonight my thirst is quenched I suppose you could say.”

Emma huffed, and broke from his embrace.

“What is it?”

“How? I mean, you didn’t drink that much from me last night. I don’t want you to… you know. You don’t, like… I mean… are there others?”

Killian just stared at her as she continued to stumble over her words. “What is it you’re asking, Swan?”

A rosy shade of pink colored her cheeks as she realized she was going to have to come right out and ask. “Are there other girls?”

“Other girls for what?”

Emma rolled her eyes at his obtuseness, silently cursing him for making her a jealous brat. “Do you drink from other females?”

Killian burst into laughter, his eyes alight with love for this girl.

Emma’s mouth dropped open, then she spun on her heel and stormed to the bedroom.

“Wait up, love.” He got to the door just as it was slamming closed and stopped it with his foot. Emma was laid out on her back, arms folded across her chest, staring at the ceiling.

Laying next to her on the bed, he took it as a good sign that she didn’t tell him to leave, or even turn away from him when he slowly crooked his arm across her stomach. “Emma Swan, are you jealous?”

She growled in irritation, but still didn’t turn away. “No,” she muttered petulantly.

“I think you’re jealous,” he crooned.

“Well what the hell do you expect, I mean you were hard as a rock last night when you drank from me. You think I want you doing that with someone else?”

“Mmmm I was,” he growled, splaying his hand across her stomach, “but you know what darling? I was hard as a rock because it was you.”

Emma turned her head, “Yeah?”

He nodded his head. “After I left you here last night, I knew I couldn’t see you again without first quenching my thirst. Remember the stockpile I have at the, what did you call it? House of horrors? I drank my fill before seeing you tonight so I could control myself.”

Emma giggled at the title and at assuming the worst. How could she so quickly forget the mini blood bank he had back at his place.  “Sorry,” she whispered sheepishly. Turning her body toward his she scooted further into his embrace.

“Nothing to apologize for. I imagine I’d feel the same if you were to let someone else taste you.”

“Well, you don’t have anything to worry about, I don’t know any other vampires.”

“Maybe I wasn’t talking about that kind of tasting.” Killian arched his eyebrow and licked his lips.

Emma watched as he transformed from man to vampire, his fangs clicking into place in the blink of an eye. Her heart rate soared, but not out of fear. As surreal as this all still was, she was turned on by his fangs, as was proven by the swirl of want she felt between her legs at the thought of him tasting his fill of hers.  “Oh, that’s only for you.”

“Only me? Even after a year?”

“I don’t know if I’d have ever moved past you, Killian. I might’ve become an old spinster. But I assure you, after only one year, yes, only for you.” Leaning in, Emma touched her lips to one fang, then the other before taking his mouth.

Killian groaned into her mouth when he tasted her tongue on his. He tightened his hold at her lower back and kneaded her flesh, wanting to feel more of her. “Your soft, wet, mouth tastes just as delectable as I remember.”

He’d always loved to kill her with words. She felt that familiar swell low in her belly, and she pressed into him further. “What else do you want to taste?”

“Everything you have to give.”

Their eyes mirrored each other’s, beautifully colored irises, blue versus green, barely visible around wild pupils.  “Take it,” she whispered. Before she could take notice, Killian transported, where he had been laid beside her he was now standing next to her side of the bed. Emma took the hand he offered her and stood up with him.

He removed his black leather jacket, then took both Emma’s hands and placed them on his chest. She didn’t need to be led further, Killian had always enjoyed when Emma undressed him, with her eyes and especially with her hands.

Slowly caressing the planes of his chest, down to his abs and then back up again, Emma pulled the shirt from his jeans at the same time, then set to the task of unbuttoning it. With each new bit of skin that was exposed she felt new want blossoming. Her hands caressed his pecs, fingers skimming through his thick chest hair, then moved up to his shoulders to push away his shirt.

Even though he couldn’t blush, she saw a shy modesty bloom under her scrutiny.  He still had his tells, she noted as his hand came up to rub at the back of his neck. A sure sign he was a little shaken. “Just as gorgeous as I remember,” she murmured. Moving forward, Emma inhaled deeply at his neck then feathered light kisses along the column of his neck as she deftly unfastened his belt. “I missed you so much,” she whispered into his skin as she unzipped him.

“I missed you too, my love.” Taking her face between both hands he brought her mouth to his to cement his words.

Emma slid his pants down his hips and thighs while he kissed her senseless. She felt his hard length against her stomach and couldn’t help the giggle that stole from her mouth.

“What’s so funny?”

“No blood, no heartbeat, and now no knickers? I seem to remember you had quite the collection of those hot little boxer briefs that packaged everything so… deliciously.”

“Perhaps I forewent my knickers for your easy access.”

Emma laughed again, “Good idea. Goddamn you look so good. You’re just missing one thing.”

“And what would that be?” He quirked his eyebrow as she unfastened the necklace, his necklace, she wore.

“I want you to have it back, now that you’re here to stay.” Emma stepped behind him and fastened the necklace for him. She kissed his neck and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I also want to feel it drag along my body when you’re on top of me,” she whispered into his ear.

An involuntary shiver coursed through his body at her seduction. Then she was gone, the warmth of her body no longer pressed to his, and he found himself desperate for her touch.

When she walked back around him, she faced away from him, toward the bed, then swept her hair upward with both hands signaling Killian to unzip her. The dress fell to the floor seamlessly, and she whipped back around to face him, without warning she jumped up and clung to his body. He caught her as if she were a feather. “So it’s true what they say? Vampires have super strength?”

“Aye, there are many things that are different about me now, Swan. We could discuss them all at great length if you’d like?”

“Uh-uh, not right now. We have more important matters to attend to.”

“Such as?”

“Shut up and get inside me, Killian Jones.”

“As you wish.” He laid Emma out on their bed and crawled between her thighs, then kissed her lips once, before setting to leisurely teasing every inch of her body. He ran his lips down her neck before feasting on her breasts like a man starved, all the while inhaling deeply, her scent like a lifeline.

Just as she’d wanted, Emma could feel the delicate drag of the pendants on his necklace along her throat, then down her sternum as he kissed his way down her body. “Hurry up,” she whined. “It’s been a year,” she added when he chuckled at her impatience.

“Don’t I know it,” he murmured. “Let me enjoy these a bit more.” He sucked and teased his fill before moving further down her body, finally settling where she wanted. Killian massaged her hips, up and down her rib cage, then placed his mouth upon her.

The moan that emerged from Emma would have embarrassed her if she wasn’t busy being so impatient and greedy for his mouth. She fisted her fingers into his thick hair, encouraging his actions.  

Killian hummed his approval into her folds when her delectable taste graced his tongue. He worked her quickly, but expertly, his tongue seeking everything she had to give. He brought two fingers to her entrance, soaked and ready to be penetrated and slid them in without warning at the same time as he sucked her clit between his lips.

“Yes,” Emma gasped at the sudden but welcome intrusion. It’d been far too long, and she was on the brink of utopia from just one thrust of his digits. She bucked her hips to meet the curve of his fingers, the wet slide music to her ears. The sound of sex had always been a turn on for Emma, and after a full year, it was as though the sense was heightened.

Killian added a third finger to her divinely swollen flesh and delighted in her cries of passion as she immediately came. “That’s it love, let me hear you.” He coaxed her through her aftershocks, waiting patiently for her to come down. “Hearing you get off is second only to watching it, Swan.”

“Then allow me to come again… for your pleasure.” She smiled like the cat that got the canary, before adding, “Tell me how you want to watch me come.”

Before Emma could process a thing she was straddling his waist while he lied out on the bed. “What the-”

“Super speed,” he shrugged throwing his hands behind his head.

“So that’s true too. What about super stamina?”

“Oi! My stamina was always super.”

Emma collapsed onto his chest in a fit of giggles. Her vampire boyfriend was still a drama queen. “Oh, Killian. That wasn’t a complaint.” She braced her hands on either side of his head and pushed up so she could look down at him. “I never had any complaints in that department,” she purred as she slid her still wet folds up and down his length. Emma watched as his eyes rolled shut. “You like that?”

“Fuck yes, you’re so warm and wet. I want to feel you wrapped around my cock, love.”

She kissed him briefly then licked and gently bit her way along his jawline. “As you wish,” she murmured into his ear.   

Killian’s eyes sprang open as he didn’t want to miss a moment, she just felt so good. He watched as she braced her left hand on his chest and gripped his shaft in her right to line him up to her. His cock strained as he felt the warmth of her entrance, and he swore she was teasing him. “Ride me, Swan.”

Hearing those words brought back a flood of memories, so many nights spent making love. Torn between slamming home and making him beg, Emma slowly sunk down onto him until he was fully sheathed. She didn’t move, she needed to adjust to the way he stretched her, she also wanted to savor the full feeling she’d been deprived of for so long.

Killian didn’t realize he’d closed his eyes again until he felt her forehead rest on his. He brought one hand to her hip and the other to the back of her head. “I love you, Emma.” He punctuated his words with a fervent kiss, hardly giving her a chance to answer.

His words and ardor spurred her to action and she withdrew her hips before gliding back home again. Emma alternated between kissing him and watching him. The muscles of his body moved smoothly under his skin as he guided her hips. She got lost in the way his arms flexed, his stomach tensed and settled, the tick of his jaw, and she thought watching him in the throes of passion might be the most gorgeous thing she’d ever witnessed.

Killian moaned and whispered encouragement and obscene words to her as she worked herself closer to another peak. He was mesmerized by the way her breasts bounced as she rode him, but only when he could pull his eyes from her expressions of heat, happiness, and wonder that all made their way across her face. He knew the moment she reached that crescendo, when she threw her head back in ecstacy and called out his name. And again, hearing her come undone was second only to watching. Pumping into her still, Killian’s orgasm started to crest through him and he was inundated with a maddening desire to bite and feed from the woman who’d just thoroughly ravished him.

Emma watched as Killian’s release took him. He was beautiful, but something was just slightly off. His eyes paled a shade, and he looked slightly feral. Then it dawned on her. “Drink,” she commanded. And once again she found herself in a new position without experiencing how she got there.  She was laid out on her back and Killian was poised above her now, still thrusting deeply into her. She didn’t say anything, but only swept her hair aside and offered her neck.

Without another moment’s hesitation Killian sunk his fangs into her tender flesh and pulled deeply from her thrumming vein. Her breathy moans had him fucking into her harder, as he realized she loved his bite. The swell of her walls against his cock had him seeing stars until he finally let go and let the pleasure take him on a ride.

The moment her skin was pierced Emma entered a state of euphoria. She felt pleasure course throughout her body, settling in every nerve ending. The way his fingers grazed her skin was perfect, the way his chest rubbed against hers was perfect, and the way he stroked against her clit with every thrust was perfect. Her whole body tensed as she sensed Killian’s orgasm, and then a wave of pleasure like none she’d experienced before swept her up with him, and her body relaxed as gentle wave after wave washed through her.

Not for lack of want, Killian withdrew his fangs from her neck.  “That was…”

“What ha-”

They both chuckled at the utter fuckstruck tone to their voices, and Emma collapsed against Killian’s chest.

Running his hands through her hair he enjoyed the warm press of her skin against his cool body. “You are so warm. I’ve missed you so much, my love. Tell me you’ll stay with me forever?”

If he had a beating heart it would have stopped at her hesitance to answer. Taking in a deep breath he didn’t technically need, he tried to find his center again. “I understand. I didn’t mean to pressure you, please know that I will accept any decision you make.” He kissed the top of her head, then rolled them so they could get comfortable.

There was something off with the way her body rolled so listlessly as he moved them. “Emma, are you quite alright?” Brushing her hair away from her forehead he saw that her eyes were open, but glazed as if she wasn’t seeing. “Emma, love, wake up,” he shouted as he shook her gently. Killian checked for her pulse, but even with his heightened senses could only detect a weak and fading pulse. He couldn’t comprehend the thought of losing her after he’d only just got her back. But he couldn’t fathom turning her without her permission either. “Please, wake up. Tell me what to do,” he pleaded. Holding her limp body tightly to his, he prayed to any god who might hear him for Emma to wake.

“Emma!” Killian was sitting up in bed holding her tightly with his forehead rested on hers. She was still breathing but it was shallow. He pressed his lips to hers and a broken sob spilled forth. Emma’s whole body jerked in his arms as she struggled to inhale.

“Breathe love, just breathe,” he soothed her.

“What happened?”  

Killian still had her held tight in his arms, unwilling to let her go. “You tried to leave me, you were barely breathing, and your pulse was almost nonexistent.”

“Why are you bleeding?” Emma brought her hand to his face and brushed her thumb across the drops of blood on his cheek.  

“Shit, sorry. Will you be okay If I go to the bathroom to clean up?”  

Emma nodded her head. “I’m fine. But why are you bleeding, did I hurt you?”

“Of course you didn’t.” Killian stood up from the bed and raked his hand anxiously behind his ear.

“There’s that blushless blush,” Emma teased as she watched him. “What is it, bashful?”

“I thought I was going to lose you,” he whispered. “Crying is a messy affair when you’re a vampire.”

“I’m not going anywhere, all you would have to do if I was dying in your arms is turn me, then there’ll be no getting rid of me.” Emma stood up off the bed and held her hand out to him, “Let’s get cleaned up. If that’s what comes out of your eyes when you cry, I’m sure I need to bathe after what we just did. Unless you’re ready for round two.”

“I’m always ready for you, but we need to talk first.”

“Fine,” Emma sighed, knowing that serious Killian with his good form, morals, and integrity was going to make an appearance.

~CS~

“Are you hungry?” Killian asked as he dried his body.

Emma watched his naked form as he toweled off, her eyes were quite focused as she enjoyed the show. “Only for you,” she murmured as she slipped on her silky robe.

“On the contrary, I can hear your stomach,” he chuckled.

“Stupid vampire hearing,” she muttered while drying her own hair. “I can eat anytime, I’d rather make up for the last year by having you again.  I haven’t gotten to... you know.” Licking her lips she crudely gestured a blow job, then smiled devilishly as he began to harden before her.

“Naughty vixen,” he smirked, “I promise you, once we’ve talked, if we move forward together-”

“What if, Killian?” she interrupted. “There is no if, only when.”

“Well then, after we talk, when we move forward together, you’ll have an eternity to suck my cock.” He waggled his eyebrows at her scandalized expression, while throwing on a pair of his old worn sweats.

Emma feigned offense before bursting into giggles. “I love you, you filthy animal.”  

“Come on.”

Before she could make another attempt to lure him back to bed, he poofed them to the kitchen where she was sitting on the counter watching him practically warp around the kitchen while preparing her pancakes, eggs, and sausage. She was almost dizzy.

Once he’d prepared her plate he swooped her up and transported them both, food and all to the back patio. “Now we talk.” He sat her in a chair at the small dinette and sat across from her.

“Talk, talk, talk,” Emma rolled her eyes before scooping a bite of pancakes into her mouth. “Mmmm, just as delicious as I remember,” she commented through a full mouth.

“So classy.” He watched as carefree Emma returned. She’d been such a shell of herself over the past year.    

“Shut up!” she laughed, punching him in the arm. “Actually don’t shut up, you talk all this talk you need to talk, and I’ll eat.”

“As you wish. All the things I am about to say aren’t to discourage you, but I do need to say them, because I want you to really think it through before you make your decision.”

“Okay, I’m all ears.”

“No more food to start, you won’t be able to enjoy those light and fluffy pancakes, nor your beloved garlic steak. No sunlight... tanning, the pool, the beach, all gone. A warm body will be a thing of the past, and no more beauty sleep, not that you ever needed it. You won’t be able to be around humans for a long spell, it’ll just be you and me.”

Emma reached across the table and entwined her fingers with his. “I don’t see the problem with any of that. I would give up food, sleep, my warmth, my heartbeat, the sun, moon, and stars to be with you.”     

“Fortunately you wouldn’t have to give up the stars, Swan.” Killian squeezed her hand lovingly as he gestured toward the star laden sky with his other. “We can always enjoy this. Alas, those are the more superficial things. We would never be able to stay anywhere forever if we intended to live among the living, they’d realize we were different if we maintained our youthful good looks for too long. You’d have to watch every human you love die, eventually. And… no babies.”

Emma contemplated his last two thoughts as she pushed around the bits of food left on her plate. For the majority of her life she hadn’t wanted kids, she’d never had a mom and was quite sure that she didn’t know the first thing about how to be one. Only once Killian had come into her life had she even considered kids, they’d discussed it a time or two. Ultimately, had everything worked out happily ever after, they probably would’ve had a couple kids. But now, the fact was, she wasn’t going to have kids either way, she probably didn’t have nine months left to try, and she could handle that.

“David and Mary Margaret,” she murmured, they were a different story. Her eyes watered as she thought about them growing old and eventually dying as she and Killian would remain never changing.

“I can… enthrall them, I suppose you could say.”

Emma stared at him blankly.

“You know, enchant, glamour, hypnotize them.”

“To do what?”

“To forget. Everything about us, it would be as if we’d never existed in their minds.” Killian watched silently as an array of emotions flitted across her face, a bit of sadness, some nostalgia, and even the hint of a smile.

“No, I can handle it. I don’t want you to… mess with their minds. Wait! Have you messed with my-”

“Never love,” Killian cut her off, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Emma stood up and tugged on Killian’s hand. “C’mon.” She led him to their swinging loveseat.  After guiding him to sit criss cross she sat opposite him so they were facing each other. Grabbing both his cool hands in her warm ones she laced their fingers again placing them in her lap, and looked into his eyes.   

“I know you may think I am being quick to jump, and flippant, but Killian, I know in my heart that I’m making the right decision. Some might think me weak for not moving past your death, but the fact is, I could have moved on, I just didn’t want to. I had no desire to live in a world without you in it. You were, are the greatest and only love of my life, I had no desire to move past that. I would have lived out my life however I was able to navigate without you, but now I don’t have to, and nothing you can say or do will change my mind.”   

“Gods I am blessed, if a demon like me can be blessed.”

“You are not a demon,” Emma whispered, wiping at the bloody tear that traced the curve of his cheek.

“Knowing all that you know now, I don’t understand how you can still love me so unconditionally, but I swear you won’t regret it for even a single moment of our eternity.”

“Good.”

Pulling Emma into his lap he threaded both hands into her hair and pressed his forehead to hers. “I love you, Emma Swan.”

“Prove it. Take me back to bed.”

“One track mind,” he chuckled.

“Better yet, who needs a bed. Take me right here, vampire.”

“You’re amazing, Emma.”

“I love you, Killian Jones, enough talking now.”

Tagging: @onceuponamirror @teamhook @artistic-writer  @courtorderedcake @jarienn972 @therooksshiningknight @ultraluckycatnd @resident-of-storybrooke @captainswan-shipper88 @winterbaby89 @cssns please let me know if you’d like to be tagged, or removed from the list. 

[purplesurveys]

415

Are you filled with joy today? I guess you can say that. I finally got my license card!!! The transport sector in the PH is so inefficient that for my first three years of owning a license, I only had the receipt as proof, and I always got embarrassingly blank stares from like security guards and bouncers whenever they’d asked to see an ID and got a piece of crumply paper instead. But I got mine renewed today and they finally issued me a card :’D No more judgy stares from other people anymore. Has it been a rough week? It’s only Monday. I’ll let you know. If given the opportunity, would you like to star in a musical? Never.  What letter does your mum's middle name start with? Her second name starts with P and her maiden name starts in A. The term ‘middle name’ is so tricky, so I’ll just give you both. Name one person you'd take a bullet for: Gab or any other member of her immediate family.

Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Nope. I have posters of individuals but not of bands. Did you trip over anything today? Surprisingly no I haven’t. Do you think you've already met your soulmate? I don’t wanna go five hundred steps ahead of myself so I’m not answering this. Plus that term is just a little too cheesy for me lmao. I’m really happy in my relationship, though. Did you drink coffee this morning? Nope. It’s not really my routine; I only drink coffee when I have to work hardcore.

Do you share your bedroom with anyone? I don’t. Last time you painted a picture? HAH. Is your favorite color yellow? No. It’s my second least favorite, after green. Were you born in a hospital? Indeed I was. Do you know the name of the person that delivered you? Mmm no, but my uncle had taken so many photos from my birth that I wouldn’t be surprised if he also caught the nametags of the people who delivered me. Was your birth recorded? ??? Like, do I have a birth certificate? Of course?? Does your family cause you more irritation than your friends do? Hahahahaha you got me here buddy. Do you get the feeling something good will happen in your life soon? I don’t know. I hope so. I’m feeling a lot of anxiety though and it’s hard to focus on the thought of life getting exciting. Did you eat a peach this week? I’ve never had a peach. Do you have a relative that's incarcerated? As far as I know, I don’t. What's your crush’s/boyfriend/husband's name? *Her name is Gabie. Why do surveys always assume that survey-takers are straight girls? Meh. And their occupation? She doesn’t work yet. Do you think it'd be cool to have your body mummified after you die? No thanks. Do you ever drink warm milk? Only when I have chocolate chip cookies. Are you leaving the house tomorrow? Yep, I have to go to school tomorrow. Are your teeth naturally straight? My front teeth aren’t but the rest of them are. Is your life more of a fairy tale or daily nightmare? Does fairy nightmare count? Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they're cliche? Mmmm I prefer romantic comedies. Is it above 50°F outside right now? So much higher than that. It says it’s 33ºC out, which is 91ºF. Would you or do you allow your children to watch television? Yes, but they’d be limited to probably an hour per day and I’d want to monitor them or have someone I trust monitor them. I don’t like how liberal my parents were with how much I consumed TV. Are you feeling miserable? Not at the moment, no. Would you rather watch a movie or listen to music? Most of the time, I’d rather listen to music. Did you drink any tea yesterday? I had a sip of my dad’s iced tea but that was it. Ever been to Rhode Island? Nope. Ever been called stupid & believed it? Sure. Can you tell the difference between a Scottish & an Irish accent? I can. Can you read music? Not a chance. Do you work the night shift? I don’t work. If you could get free vocal lessons would you take them? Nah, I know that I am bad lmao. Did you go to the beach this year? Already have! Have you been to McDonald's in the past month? Yes. I was in one just last Friday. Longest friendship; how long & with whom? Angela. 14 years. Did you listen to the radio today? Yes, the radio was on when my dad drove me to get my license today. Are you excited for this weekend? I don’t think we have anything planned for the weekend, so I’m neither excited for nor dreading it. Have you ever slept over at your best friend's house? I’ve slept at Angela’s a couple of times. I stay at Gab’s much more often. Are you visiting anyone special this holiday season? It’s...not the holiday season I’m afraid. Is your mother diabetic? Nope. Are you? Also nope. Would you like to learn how to make ceramic pottery? I’ve been taught once! I forgot where but I *think* it was in Vigan. I’ve wanted to touch that kind of clay since I was like 4 and it literally felt like a dream come true to be finally doing it myself. I was disappointed when I learned that it takes a few days to a week to be heated though. Ever sang someone to sleep? Nope. I prefer that I didn’t.

[procaffeinatingreader]

Goodbye 2018, Welcome 2019 ✨

My 2018 was a very challenging year for me. There were times of ups and downs moment like this year was like a rollercoaster ride. 2018 tested my patience, courage, strength, and even my weaknesses. However, I learned how to stand up and fight again. I made to overcome the failures and disappointments that hindered my happiness and yet I'm still here fighting every single day. I know year 2018 changed my whole perspective in different things and showed me the real purpose of life. 2018 taught me how to handle the situations even people around me. This year, I turned to be the lady I'm dreaming of, a lady with advocacy, a lady with a purpose and missions, and know what her passions are.

To sums up my 2018 memories,

▪️ Got my first job. This was really a long wait and I count this one as a blessing even though I'm not that happy anymore but I'm still looking for a reason to be happy on my own.

▪️ Started my Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology. I earned 18 units, 27 units more. Up until now and in the future, I know there are a bunch of research papers and journals I need to pass/read. But, once you like and love what you're doing you can never go wrong. This serves as my stepping stone to reach my next target and that is to be a Registered Psychologist. This one is difficult to achieve but everything is gonna be worth it in the end.

▪️Made a hardest decision ever. I admit, I'm very bad in making decisions. I'm not wise and cannot balance everything. I realized, once you enter the world of adulting and you have your settled priorities with you, believe me there's no way to escape. It's a matter of thinking big and in all sides of the situation. I salute those people who are very firm in their decisions because for me that was one of the challenging time in my life.

▪️Hongkong trip 2018. HK was my first travel out of the country and indeed that was fun. HK disneyland is such a magical and beautiful place in this world. But, I wish I can bring with me some pandesal and coffee of Phl. Foods there was a no no.

▪️Baguio City 2018 with friends. If you know me very well, I cannot travel alone without my parents because my dad is a 70% strict worrier parent. But because of the seminar (thanks) I got the chance to went in Baguio with my friends, only. It was a nice and very memorable one.

▪️Got my 2 new baby beagles. Since I'm such a dog lover, my partner and I bought 2 beagles namely Moon (the male one) and Mushi (the female one). They always give me tough times but it's okay, I still love them!

▪️Noche Buena & New Year's Eve with Family. No words, my family are really the best! Thank you Lord.

▪️I get to know more about God and accepted Him in my life. At first, I am afraid to attend in Christian Church. I don't know why, but I taught this was gonna be a new exploration for my spritiual being. July 2017 was my first time to attend but it was not consistent. But when 2018 came, my friends invited me from the Youth Service up to Sunday service and even Worship Nights. Aside from knowing God, I also gained new godly friends. We worship God, pray each other, sing together, and sharing of experiences and problems. I get to know more God by the leaders in the church, by my friends, by the Pastors. I was also renewed and powerful this time because of God. It is clear to me now His words and His plans. Even if there were times that I tend to forgot Him, I know that I'm still safe in His hands. My resting place is in Your Name!

2018 was a tough year and 2019 is gonna be a tougher year for me. But because of the lessons that I've learned in 2018, I know how to apply it in the next day or months. You can never bring me down, 2019!!!

Let's travel more.

Explore more about ourself.

Do what we want because life is too short not to do it.

You only live once, enjoy every moment and seize the day.

Be kind.

Make every single day a stepping stone to success.

Be patient.

Problems is just a problem. There are million ways to solve it.

Be a role model and don't forget to help other people.

Gain more friends and memories.

Serve God with all your heart. Read and apply what the bible says. Repent and Have faith. Know that His plans is better than our plans.

Everything has its own timing.

Do not be afraid to admit your mistakes.

Be aware that every single person you interact with has their own back story. Do not judge.

Be alive. Be productive. Be happy!

Let's claim that 2019 is a year full of happy moments, more blessings, more achievements, less failures, less disappointments, less negativities, and less dramas.

Love, R

[carolina-bleus]

Change of Heart: Carolina-Bleus

“Lisa, Mr. Johnson just received his right-to-sue letter and has decided to go forward with his Title VII claim. I need you to get a courier over to his home today and pick up the letter and some other documents he forgot to bring to our last meeting. I want to start working on his complaint today.”

“Sure thing, Ms. Richardson. Do you need anything else?”

“No, I-“ Michonne was interrupted by buzzing coming from her desk. She smiled at the caller id. “Lisa, could you hold all of my calls until further notice?”

“Absolutely.”

Michonne disconnected from Lisa and picked up her cell. “Hey, sweetie. How was your day?”

“Hey, Mama! It was good. I got an ‘A’ on my math test.”

“That’s excellent, Andre! We’ll have to celebrate with a scoop of Big Cat ice cream when we get home.”

“When are you coming home?”

Michonne sighed, knowing that her son wouldn’t be happy with her answer. “I have something I really need to work on for a client, so it will probably be after dinner.”

“So I have to stay with Aunt Jacqui and Uncle Tyreese until then?”

“I thought you liked spending time there with your cousins?”

“I do, but it’s not the same as being home with you.”

“I know, Peanut, and I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you this weekend. We can spend Saturday doing whatever you like.”

“That’s fine, Mama. I know you can’t help it. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Okay, sweetie. Bye. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Mama. Bye.”

Michonne waited for Andre to end the call and then sat back in her chair and closed her eyes. Opening my own firm was supposed to give me more time with Andre, not less.

A light tapping on her office door interrupted Michonne’s thoughts. She opened her eyes and sat up. “Come in, Lisa.”

“Guess again.” Sasha popped her head in with a big smile before walking into Michonne’s office.

“Oh, hey. Sorry, I thought you were Lisa bringing me something.”

“She just stepped away from her desk as I was walking up so that’s the only reason I could get in here unannounced. She guards this place like Fort Knox.”

“Yeah, Lisa doesn’t play,” Michonne said with a laugh. “So what brings you by?”

“I was in the area and thought I’d stop in to see my sister-friend. How are you doing?”

Michonne’s older sister, Jacqui, was married to Sasha’s older brother, Tyreese. The couple had been married for years and dated many years before that. Sasha and Michonne had become like sisters themselves as a result.

“I’m fine.”

Sasha squinted at her friend before taking a seat in front of Michonne’s desk. “That wasn’t very convincing. What’s going on Chonnie?”

“It’s Dre.”

“Is he okay?” Sasha asked in concern.

“He’s fine. I just talked to him and had to tell him I’d be home late...again. He doesn’t like always having to go to Jacqui and Tyreese’s after school.”

“I can understand that. There’s nothing like your own home.”

“Rub salt in the wound there, friend.”

“I’m not trying to do that. I’m just saying I get it.”

“I’d love to be able to pick him up and be home with him after school but I can’t do that. Hell, I can’t even have dinner with him some days.” Michonne shook her head in frustration. “I left my other firm and started this one so I would have more say over my schedule and the cases I took so that I could have more time with Dre.”

“And that’s not happening.”

“I definitely have more say over my cases but I’m getting so many that they are cutting into my time with Dre. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful because I wanted and needed the firm to be a success, but it’s growing faster than I’d ever hoped or expected.”

“Why don’t you hire on more people here?” Sasha suggested.

“I plan to but I don’t want to expand too quickly. More people means more salaries, more office supplies, more computers, more office space...more everything. The firm is still fairly new. I have to be smart about the moves I make. I am going start with hiring a new associate and maybe get an intern to do some basic research and document drafting. That should help ease things some at work. But---”

“That doesn’t solve the issue with Dre.”

“Exactly.”

“Well, there is one more person you could hire.”

“Sasha, I already told you—”

“Not for your firm...for your home.”

“What are you talking about? A babysitter?”

“I was thinking someone a little more permanent like a nanny.”

“A nanny?”

“Yeah. They can pick Dre up from school, take him to his different activities, make him dinner when you can’t and just be there with him at home.”

“I don’t know, Sasha,” Michonne said warily. “It feels like hiring someone to raise my child.”

“They wouldn’t be taking your place or raising your child, Michonne. It’s just someone to help out. And Dre will get to spend more time in his own home.”

Michonne thought it over. “I guess it’s not a bad idea, but I’d have to vet the hell out of this person. Not just anyone is going to be around my little peanut.”

“I didn’t expect anything less, Mama Bear. And since it was my suggestion, I want to help. I know you have your resources, but I can also get Abe to run a background check on any candidates down at the police station.”

“That would be great. Well, I’ll start looking at agencies and go from there.” 

Feeling a little better now that she had a plan in place, Michonne decided to tease her friend some. “Abe, huh? I noticed his name has been coming up a lot more lately. Are you two...?”

Sasha sighed and rolled her eyes. “No. We are just friends. I’m not dating any more guys with civil service jobs.”

“So I shouldn’t try to hook you up with Shaun the mailman? He fills those walking shorts out like nobody’s business.”

Sasha picked up a paper clip from the desk and threw it at Michonne. “You got jokes I see. You know what I mean.”

Michonne sobered. “I do. I was just trying to keep your mind from going there. You can’t shut yourself off because of what happened to Bob.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Michonne.”

“Okay. I’ll let it go for now.”

“Thank you.” Sasha stood up to leave.” I have to get to work. When you get some names together, just give them to me and I’ll pass them along to Abe. I’ll talk to you later.”

Michonne watched Sasha make her way to the door. “Sasha.”

Sasha paused without turning around. “Yeah?”

“Thanks for the suggestion and looking out for Dre.”

“No problem. And Michonne?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for looking out for me.”

“No problem.”

Sasha turned and shared a smile with Michonne before heading out of the office.

Michonne buzzed Lisa at her desk. She hoped she was back. “Lisa?”

“Yes, Ms. Richardson?”

“Could you look up some staffing agencies that specialize in nannies?”

“Sure. How soon do you need the list?”

“As soon as possible. Oh and you can resume my calls. Thanks.” 

Michonne turned her seat to face the city view. A nanny...I hope I’m making the right decision.

“NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT! Fellas, we got a Poindexter on the premises!” Shane shouted out to the table full of police officers, firefighters, and EMTs.

Rick smiled good-naturedly as his friends laughed at Shane’s antics. He took a seat and waited for them to quiet down.

“I’m glad I can be a source of amusement for y’all.”

Shane clapped his best friend on the back. “And I certainly do appreciate it, Rick. You’ve been providing me with solid material since kindergarten.”

“Don’t act like we don’t have dirt on you, Shane. I seem to remember a certain incident where they brought in that lady in a witch costume for Halloween when we were in first grade and you got so scared that you hid behind Miss Pierson’s skirts and peed all over the floor.”

“Shut up, T-Dog. My mama said I had a condition back then that I had to grow out of,” Shane defended.

“Yeah, it was called Pissy-itis. Didn’t you have a flare-up at summer camp when we were in the sixth grade?”

While the others turned their laughter on Shane, Teddy shot Rick a quick wink. Rick nodded his thanks for Teddy setting Shane straight.

Teddy “T-Dog” Douglas, Rick Grimes, and Shane Walsh had been best friends since childhood. While Shane thought himself the group leader, it was Teddy who kept their group together and served as the balance between boisterous Shane and the more laid-back Rick.

“Whatever, man.” Shane dismissed Teddy and turned to Rick. “I’m surprised you could make it. Lately, you’ve either been too busy studying or working to hang out with us. What’s the special occasion?”

“I needed a drink tonight. I just found out that I’m out of a job.”

Shane immediately turned serious. While he had his obnoxious moments, he genuinely cared about his friends. “That’s messed up, man. What happened?”

“Well, since it’s a nonprofit, they rely a lot on grants and donations. They told me today that they were shifting the focus of the program and the grant for my position won’t be renewed. I have six weeks to find another job.”

“Can’t you just live off of the money your grandmama left you?” Shane asked.

“She left me good money and it’s helping me pay for school without taking out loans, but I don’t want to just rely on that. I still need to supplement my other expenses. Working part-time with the foundation helped with that.”

Rick was a former police officer, turned graduate student. He was pursuing his master’s degree in psychology. He eventually wanted to get his doctorate in clinical psychology and counsel children, particularly those whose lives had been disrupted by crime...be they crimes perpetrated against them or crimes committed by a parent against others. His years as a cop had left him keenly aware of the fact that the impact of crime on children was long-lasting and not always given the attention it deserved. He wanted to do what he could to help the smallest voices be heard.

Going back to school wouldn’t have been fathomable if not for Rick’s late maternal grandmother. Before she passed, she had encouraged Rick to pursue his career passion and left him with the means to do so in her will.

“So what are you going to do, Rick? We’d always be glad to have you back at the station. You say the word and I’ll get things moving for you,” Abe Ford offered.

“Thanks, but there’s no way I could do that and go to school full-time. I’m really looking for something like I’m doing now that offers me experience working with kids and has flexible hours that allow me to get my schoolwork and studying done.”

“We’ll all keep an ear out for you, Rick.”

“I appreciate that, Abe.”

Shane clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention. “Okay, now if we are done with the career counseling, can we take advantage of the fact that Rick has decided to rejoin the living tonight? I say we celebrate. And to show what a good friend I am, I will buy the first round of drinks—”

A shout of approval went up over the table.

“Y’all’s cheap asses didn’t let me finish. I’m buying the first round for Rick’s soon-to-be unemployed ass. The rest of y’all have jobs so buy your own damn drinks,” Shane said as he walked off to the bar.

“Here you go.”

Rick looked up from scrolling through a job site and grabbed the Jack and Coke from Shane. He immediately took a sip. “Thanks, Shane.”

“No problem, man,” Shane said as he plopped back into his seat. “I just want you to know that everything is going to work out...with your job and everything. You’ve worked too hard for it not to.”

“Shane Walsh being supportive? I’m pleasantly surprised.”

“Shut up and finish your drink. I know you have to drink away your sorrows since your no game having ass doesn’t have a woman to suck them away.”

“And regular Shane is back,” Rick added with a laugh.

“Look, I know I give you a lot of shit, but I’m proud of you and what you’re doing.”

Rick nodded his thanks before asking, “Why do you give me so much shit about school and pretty much everything else?”

“Hey, man, what can I say? I’m an asshole, but my heart’s in the right place.”

“I’ll make sure they put that on your tombstone because that is Shane Walsh in a nutshell.”

“Fuck you, man.”

Rick laughed. “I love you, too, brother.”

“Wow, Michonne, you actually beat me to dinner for once? Let me look outside and make sure there aren’t any pigs flying around.” Sasha pretended to peer through one of the restaurant’s large windows facing the water.

“Sasha, you act as if I’m always late.”

“Eh, not always but your track record of tardiness is pretty good.”

“I’m a busy woman. Now sit down so we can order. I’m starving.”

“That’s because you don’t eat like you should at work.”

“Sasha, I’ll leave your love life alone if you’ll let me handle my work life.”

“Fine...let’s talk about your love life...or lack thereof.”

“My love life is fine. I don’t have time for much else besides taking care of Dre and making sure my firm is a success.”

“And you’re doing great on both counts, Michonne,” Sasha assured her friend.

“I’m doing great with work. But if I was doing a great job with Dre, I wouldn’t be handing you this list right now.” Michonne reached into her bag and pulled out a large manila envelope. “Here are the names and information of the final candidates for the nanny position.”

Sasha took the envelope and secured it in her bag before continuing. “Those must be some A plus candidates you settled on because it’s taken three weeks to get my hands on those names.”

“I just wanted to make sure I have the best options. I’m not just going to have any and everyone around my son for hours on end.”

“Oh, I’m totally with you on that. I’ll get these down to Abe before my shift starts at the firehouse tomorrow.”

“I still don’t see how you do those twenty-four hour shifts.”

Sasha shrugged. “I’ve been doing them for a while now, so I’ve gotten used to it. And I’ll have the next two days off after that so I can’t complain too much. Plus, I just really love what I do.” She smiled sadly. “My job has brought a lot of good things and good people into my life.”

Michonne knew Sasha was thinking about her fiancé, Bob Stookes. Bob was an EMT that Sasha met while responding to call. Bob’s quick wit and positive outlook on all things quickly won Sasha over and the two began dating soon after they met. They’d been engaged to be married when Bob was killed while aiding a victim during a domestic disturbance call. It had been nearly two years and Sasha hadn’t been able to move forward. She’d tried. She’d even moved closer to family and started work at a new fire department after Bob’s death, but she hadn’t been able to leave behind those emotions from the night she received that life changing phone call.

Michonne placed a hand over Sasha’s. “Sasha when I talk to you about moving on with your life, being happy and dating again, I hope you know that I’m not trying to tell you to forget Bob and all that he means to you. I’m just saying that he wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life mourning him. That’s not how Bob lived and he wouldn’t want you to do that either. He’d want you to be happy.”

Sasha moved her hand to wipe at a stray tear. “I know you mean well, Michonne. But it’s a little hard for me to take advice from you when you don’t even follow it yourself. Mike walked out years ago and you still haven’t moved on. Are you waiting for him to walk back into your and Dre’s life?”

Michonne sat back angrily. “If he wants to be part of his son’s life, then that could perhaps be arranged...if he’s changed. But our life together as a couple and a family is over. I could forgive and forget if he had just walked out on me. But he left our son and has never looked back. I can’t forgive that.”

“Mike was the one who did wrong, so why are you punishing yourself?”

“What are you talking about?”

“He left because his fragile ego couldn’t handle that your career was progressing faster than his. He couldn’t handle that you were the breadwinner and he was the stay-at-home dad. That was all on him. But you’ve locked yourself off from pursuing anything that doesn’t directly benefit Dre or your career because of Mike’s shortcomings. How is that fair to you?”

“I think a part of Mike thought I would fail if he left me trying to juggle my career and a toddler, but I made it. My career flourished. Andre has flourished. And---”

“And you have made yourself your last priority. Your happiness counts for something, too, Michonne. And I think Dre cares more about having a happy mother than a successful one.”

“I can be both.”

“But are you both?”

“Sasha, I don’t need a man to be happy.”  

“Michonne I never said anything about a man. You just did. All I’m saying is that you need to focus on yourself more and find some happiness outside of being a successful lawyer and amazing mother. You need to stop neglecting yourself, Michonne.”

That threw Michonne for a loop. She was extremely happy with how her career was going. And aside from not being able to spend as much time as she would like with Andre, she was happy with the young man her son was becoming. But, personally, she did miss having someone to share everything with...the triumphs and the tragedies. She thought she’d had that with Mike and had been sorely mistaken.

Michonne mentally shook off the conversation because she just wasn’t ready to deal with any of it yet and grabbed her menu. “I don’t think either of us came here for a therapy session. How about we save this for another day, get some good food, gossip about Andrea’s scandalous love life and call it a night?”

“That’s the best idea you’ve had in a while,” Sasha agreed as she picked up her own menu.

“All of my ideas are amazing, Sasha.”

Sasha scoffed. “Uh, what about your idea to do our own eyebrows when we were in high school?”

Michonne laughed at the memory. “I did a great job on mine. I didn’t tell you to go ham on your brows with the tweezers.”

“I ended up looking like a Vulcan!”

“But you were a cute Vulcan. All the guys in Science Club wanted to date you.”

Sasha flipped Michonne the bird before looking at her menu.

Bright and early the next day, Sasha walked into the police station hoping to catch Abe before his shift ended. She spotted him standing at the front desk.

“Abe!”

Abe turned and greeted Sasha with a big, tired smile on his face. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence this early in the morning?”

“What? No inappropriate comment?”

“It’s too early and I’m too tired. But I promise to give it to you good the next time I see you to make up for lost time.” Abe winked.

Sasha shook her head with a smile. “Before you head out, I have a favor to ask.”

“Anything for you, darlin’.”

Sasha handed Abe the envelope full of candidate info. “My best friend is looking for a nanny for her son. He’s very special to me and I was hoping you could run a deep background check on the candidates for the job. I have to make sure he’s in good hands.”

“Of course.” Abe opened the envelope and began flipping through the pages. “Well, not a looker to be found. They certainly won’t inspire any good source material when I get home.”

“Abe.”

“Just a little joke,” Abe murmured before closing the envelope and looking at Sasha. “How soon does your friend need it?”

“As soon as possible would be great. Michonne wants a nanny in place sooner rather than later.”

“Mee-shawn? That sounds exotic.”

“Say that to her and it won’t end well.”

“She sounds feisty. I like that in a woman.” Abe looked at Sasha pointedly before continuing. “Why is she looking for a nanny? What is she, some rich woman who needs more time to improve her tennis strokes?”

“Hardly. She’s a single mother and successful lawyer. It’s getting harder to do everything on her own so she’s looking for someone to pick Dre up from school and be at home with him until she can get there.”

That got Abe thinking. “Hmmm. How old is Dre?”

“He turns eight in a few months? Why?”

“I thought you were talking about a baby, but I think Rick can handle a soon-to-be eight-year-old.”

“Abe, what are you talking about?”

“I have a friend, a former cop, named Rick Grimes. He left the force about a year ago to go back to school full-time and get a graduate degree in psychology. He was working with kids at a nonprofit, but his position is up in a couple of weeks. If the nanny would just be needed in the afternoons and evenings, I think this would be right up Rick’s ally.”

Sasha thought for a moment. “Rick Grimes? I remember running into him a couple of times during calls my first year at the firehouse here. He was always nice and helpful. You know him pretty well?”

“He’s a real good friend of mine and one of the best guys I know. This would be a win-win for him and your friend. I mean she doesn’t have to worry about anybody messing with Dre with Rick around.”

“I’d have to talk to Michonne. I don’t know if male nannies were even on her radar.”

“Well, that’s mighty sexist of her.”

Sasha eyed Abe. “You would know.”

“I think you’re confusing sexist with sexy.”

“Yeah, Abe, that’s exactly it,” Sasha said dryly.  “Look, could you get Rick’s information for me and have it ready ASAP? I’m going to try and smooth the way for him with Michonne.”

“Will do.” Abe offered Sasha an arm. “Now, let me walk you down to the firehouse and show those guys what a real specimen looks like.”

Sasha ignored Abe’s arm and started walking out of the station. “Your body might be tired but your mouth is working overtime. Bye, Abe. And thanks.”

“You are mighty welcome, Miss Sasha Williams.”

Before heading home, Abe decided to stop over at Rick’s apartment.

“Hey, Abe. What’s going on?”

“I’m just gonna cut to the chase because I’m more worn out than a mattress at a swingers’ club. I think I found you a job.”

“Come on in.” Rick stepped back to let Abe enter. “You want anything to drink?”

“No, I’m good.” Abe took a seat on the couch while Rick sat in his recliner. “Do you remember Sasha Williams? She’s a firefighter over at the Libby Street Station. She said she met you a couple of years ago?”

“Yeah. We worked a few of the same calls.”

“Well her best friend is looking for a nanny.”

“A nanny!” Rick started shaking his head. “Abe, I don’t think—”

“Just hear me out. This isn’t for a little baby. The kid is eight years old. His mother is a single parent looking for someone to pick him up after school and stay with him until she gets home in the evenings. She’s a lawyer so she’ll probably pay pretty good. And you can’t beat the schedule.”

“When I said I wanted to work with kids, being a babysitter wasn’t on the list of jobs.”

“I’m sure she’ll have you doing other stuff, I’m just giving you a rough rundown. It’s perfect, Rick. And it starts soon. All I need you to do is give me your information so I can pass it on along.”

“Well, I am running out of options and maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. Let me print out a copy of my resume.”

Abe leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. “Alright. Put that printer on lightning speed so I can get out of here before I fall asleep or else you’ll have a redheaded roommate for the next few hours.”  

Rick stood in his office waiting for his resume to finishing printing. I hope this is the right move.

“Good job, Peanut!” Michonne turned to Andrea in the stands. “Did you see that? Dre just scored a goal!”

Andrea looked up from her phone. “Oh shit! I missed it? He didn’t even have the ball when I glanced down to check a message. These kids move fast.”

“If you put your phone away and paid attention, you wouldn’t miss anything.”

“Michonne, I am here for Dre and Dre only. If he’s not kicking the ball, I’m not paying attention.”

“I’m surprised you even made it. You and Saturday mornings don’t usually mix.”

“Dre begged me to come and you know how hard it is to say ‘no’ to him. I’d do anything for that little guy.”

“I definitely know the feeling. That’s the only reason why I agreed to this whole nanny thing.”

“How is that going?”

“Sasha is supposed to bring me the information on the finalists today. Then I’ll start setting up interviews for next week.”

“Have you told Dre about this yet?”

“Yeah. I want him to be there for part of the interviews. I need to see who Dre feels most comfortable with and how they interact with him.”

“That makes sense. Because I’d really hate to have to hurt somebody for not treating him right.”

Michonne laughed. “You sound like Jacqui. She said she’d catch a case if somebody laid hands on Dre.”

“For once, Jacqui and I agree on something.”

After the game, Michonne pulled into her driveway to find Sasha sitting in the swing on her front porch.

“Hey, Sasha,” Michonne greeted while getting out the car. “Why didn’t you use your key?”

“I just got here a little while ago. I decided to enjoy the nice morning while I wait. Hey Andrea.”

“Hey Sasha.”

Dre jumped out of the car and ran up to Sasha. “Hey Aunt Sasha! Guess what?”

“What?”

“We won and I scored a goal!”

“Great job, Dre! Gimme a hug.”

“I’m kind of sweaty though.”

“I don’t mind.” Sasha grabbed her nephew up in a big hug that had him giggling before she set him back on the ground. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there this morning.”

“That’s okay. I know you can’t be there when you have to save people.”

Michonne opened the front door and motioned everyone in. “Dre, sweetie. Go on and wash up and then we’ll go out to lunch.”

“Okay, Mama. See ya in a little bit.” Dre yelled as he ran up the stairs.

“Sasha, do you have the information for me?”

“I do. Let’s go into the kitchen. I need some coffee this morning.”

Once they were seated around the island, Sasha slid the packet over to Michonne. “Everyone checked out so you should be good to go with setting up interviews. But there is one additional candidate I think you should look at.”

Michonne looked up from the papers. “Who is that?”

“A man named Rick Grimes. He used to be a cop. He’s going to grad school now to become a child psychologist. I worked with him a few times and he’s nice. His resume is at the end in the pile.”

Michonne took a moment to read over the document. “He looks great on paper, but why would he want to work as a nanny?”

“I don’t know all of the details but apparently his other job is ending soon and he’s looking for something similar that allows him to work with kids and has hours that work with his school schedule.”

Andrea reached over and grabbed the paper from Michonne. “Where is his picture? All the other applicants provided a photo. I need to see if this dude passes the weirdo test and to see if he’s worth putting in my dating pool.”

“It doesn’t matter what he looks like, Andrea.” Michonne took the resume back. “I’m not sure if I even want a male nanny. It’s just not something I’m used to.”

Sasha scoffed. “Are you serious right now, Michonne?”

“I’m completely serious.”

“You make a living out of helping people fight against employment discrimination and you are going to discriminate against someone because of their sex. That’s very hypocritical of you.”

“She’s got you there, Michonne.” Andrea chimed in. “Besides, maybe Dre would prefer to have a male nanny as opposed to some of those Mrs. Doubtfire stand-ins the agency suggested. You should at least let the man interview.”

“Fine, I’ll have Lisa set up an interview. But it will probably be a waste of both of our time. I doubt he’ll even want the job.”

Three interviews down and Michonne was ready to throw in the towel. Thus far, none of the candidates had lived up to their resumes.

Michonne sighed and rubbed her temples. “I feel like we are being catfished nanny style.”

“You seriously need to call the Better Business Bureau on that agency. Those nannies they recommended have been horrible. Did they even read your requirements? I thought the first lady was going to explode when she found out this wasn’t a live-in position. Why was she so upset about not being able to live here? That’s a thief in the making right there. You’d have to break out the nanny cam on her ass.”

“Jacqui, this agency was supposed to be the best one in the area. I told them exactly what I needed. I don’t know how it got so screwed up.”

“Well, screwed up is putting it mildly. The blonde chick gave me Single White Female vibes. She was just a little too attentive to you and Dre. If you’d hired her, it would only be a matter of time before she came in here wearing a dreadlock wig, too much bronzer, and asking Dre to call her ‘mama.’”

“She wasn’t that bad, Jacqui. But Dre didn’t seem to like her so she’s out anyway. What about Mrs. Addams that just left? What did you think of her?”

“I think the last kids she probably cared for are collecting social security checks as we speak. Mrs. Addams was 82 if she was a day. That crooked jet-black wig wasn’t fooling anybody. Coming in here looking like a black Betty Boop with them drawn on eyebrows. There is no way she can keep up with Dre. He’d end up taking care of her and that wig.”

“Calm down, Jacqui.”

“Michonne, you know I can’t abide by messiness, especially when it comes to my family.”

“We have two last interviews. One more person from the agency and that Grimes man Sasha recommended. Hopefully, one of them will be the right fit.”

“They better be the right fit. If not, I’m going to make sure my size six shoe fits right upside somebody’s head down at that agency.”

Michonne stared at her sister in amusement. “Why did I ever ask you to join me for these interviews?”

“Cause you know I don’t play.”

“Could you just go get the next candidate please?”

“Sarah, I see you have an undergraduate degree in child development.”

“Yes, I graduated with honors. The course of study was interdisciplinary and focused on child development from birth through adolescence. We delved into child psychology, education, sociology and so much more. I have great insight as to not only how children develop physiologically but also the psychological and sociological influences that impact their development along the way.”

“Are you planning on furthering your education or is being a nanny a lifelong career path for you?”

“I plan to keep up with the latest developments in the field and eventually have my own agency full of well-qualified and educated nannies such as myself. But, at this point in my life, I’m focused on providing the best care to the children under my charge.”

“You’re aware that this position is not live-in?”

“Yes, that’s one of the things that drew me to the position. I just got married, so I kind of want to live with my husband,” Sarah said with a laugh.

“There may be some evenings where you have to stay quite late if I have a business engagement or even some overnights, if I have a trial or seminar out of town. Will that be a problem?”

“Absolutely not. That is all expected when one chooses to become a nanny.”

“Are you fine with the rate of pay for this position?”

“Yes. It is in line with the other positions I’ve held.”

“Okay. Well, do you have any questions for me?”

“Well, I was wondering if I would be able to meet Andre? It’s great if the parents like me, but if the child doesn’t, then this will not work. He is the client in a very large sense.”

Michonne smiled at Sarah’s words. “Actually, that was the next part of the interview. Come on, Andre is in his playroom.”

 After showing Sarah out, Michonne turned to Jacqui. “Well, what do you think?”

“I don’t have anything bad to say. She was pretty damn good. She has the background and experience. Plus, and most importantly, Dre seemed to really like her. She might be it.”

“I think so, too.” Michonne looked at her watch. “Rick Grimes should be here in thirty minutes. He’s going to have to be just about perfect to beat out Sarah.”

Michonne was on her way to freshen up when the doorbell rang. “Jacqui, I need to run to the bathroom. That’s probably Mr. Grimes. Could you answer that for me?”

“No problem, Chonnie.”

Jacqui walked into the foyer and opened the door. What she saw standing on the other side left her in a rare condition...speechless.

“Hi, Miss Richardson? I’m Rick Grimes. I’m here for the nanny interview.”

“...”

“Miss Richardson, are you okay? Did something happen?” Rick’s cop instincts kicked in and he started surveying the area for any issues.

Jacqui finally found her voice. “Uh...everything is fine...very fine. I’m Jacqueline Renee Williams but you can call me Jacqui.” Miss Jacqui if you nasty. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”. 

Rick held out his hand to Jacqui. “I’m Richard Sutton Grimes and it’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Miss Jacqui.”

Oooh, he nasty! 

Jacqui shook Rick’s hand while giving him a discrete once-over. Lawd, Tyreese better be glad I love his wonderful and cuddly thick ass. 

“You’ll be interviewing with my sister, Michonne. Come on in and I’ll take you to her.” Jacqui watched Rick walk past her before she closed the door. Oooh, and he’s bowlegged, too.

“Right this way, Mr. Grimes.”

“You can call me Rick.”

If I were single, I’d call you Daddy. 

“Okay...Rick.”

Walking down the hallway, Rick wondered if Miss Richardson was anything like her sister, Jacqui. If so, he was in for a handful.

Michonne glanced at her watch once again, wondering what was taking Jacqui so long to bring Mr. Grimes back. She looked up when she heard them finally enter the room and immediately knew what the holdup was. It was Rick Grimes.

From the top of his curly head to the bottom of his cowboy boot clad feet, Rick Grimes was the most handsome man Michonne had ever seen. He looked like he belonged on a television or movie screen, not applying to be her son’s nanny.

When he walked into a study and Michonne Richardson looked up, Rick knew he was in trouble. He was staring at the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

Rick and Michonne locked eyes and neither could tear themselves away. Jacqui sat back and looked between the two with a knowing smirk on her face.

“Michonne? Rick? Are y’all ready to start the interview or do you need more time to memorize each other’s faces?”

Michonne was the first to snap out of it. “What did you say, Jacqui?”

“I asked if y’all were ready to start the interview?”

“Oh, yes. Mr. Grimes, I’m Michonne Richardson. Thank you for coming in today.” Michonne smiled, reached for Rick Grimes’ hand and tried to ignore the feeling that ran through her at the contact. Michonne released Rick’s hand and motioned to a chair. “If you’ll have a seat, Mr. Grimes, we can begin.”

Rick reluctantly released Michonne’s hand and had a seat. “Please, call me Rick.”

“Sure. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself, Rick.”

Rick chuckled. “Well, I’m afraid I’m not much more interesting than what you see on paper. But, here we go. I’m a small-town guy...Georgia born and bred. I guess I always had a desire to help those most in need from the time I was little. My family has a farm and I would always adopt the smallest little guy in any litter. I hated seeing anyone or anything being taken advantage of or mistreated. That’s a big reason why I became a police officer and why I want to become a psychologist and work with children impacted by crime. Everyone should have a person in their corner that makes them feel cared about and protected. I imagine that’s what drew you to the law.”

“How did you know I was an attorney?”

“My friend, Abe, mentioned it to me when he told me about the job.”

“Oh. Well, yeah, that’s exactly why I went into law. Most people assume lawyers go into law strictly for the money. But, that was never my motivation. Now, I mostly represent individuals who have suffered discrimination in employment. Most of those cases don’t even go to court and those that do rarely get a huge payout. The big money is in what I used to do, which was defending employers, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do that anymore. They have more than enough people willing to do their dirty work. But for plaintiffs, oftentimes, I’m their last hope. It’s a lot of pressure but-“

“But it’s worth it and means more than any dollar amount,” Rick finished.

“Exactly.”

Rick and Michonne shared a smile before Jacqui discretely cleared her throat.

“Um, Rick,” Michonne continued “Do you have a lot of experience working with children?”

“I was a counselor at the Boys and Girls Club throughout high school and college. I started an after-school program at the department for local kids while I was a policeman. I still volunteer with it. Most recently, I worked with a nonprofit that focuses on children who are direct and indirect victims of abuse.”

“That’s the position that’s being phased out?” At the question in Rick’s eyes, Michonne explained, “My best friend, Sasha, gave me a little background information on you.”

“We have some talkative friends.”

“So it would seem,” Michonne agreed with a chuckle.

“But, unfortunately, yes my position and several others are no longer going to be funded. But that’s my professional background. On the personal side, I have lots of experience with kids as well.”

Michonne braced herself.

“I come from a very large family and have nieces and nephews that are younger, older, and the same age as I am. That’s country living for you.”

Michonne heard Jacqui, who’d been uncharacteristically quiet, let out a breath at Rick’s words. She glanced at her sister who just shrugged.

“Rick, why exactly are you interested in this position?”

“Well, as you know, my current job is going to end soon. This job seemed like the perfect opportunity to step into. I get to continue working with kids but it’s not on a live-in basis, so I could craft my school schedule around your son’s.”

“Did you have any specific questions about the position?”

“Aside from picking Andre up from school and being with him at home in the evenings, what else would the job entail? I can help with homework. Shuttle him to after-school activities. And I’m a pretty good cook if you needed me to make him dinner sometimes.”

“That’s actually exactly what I had in mind except the cooking...that’s just an unexpected bonus. So how good are you at math? Like most attorneys, math is my nemesis.”

Rick laughed. “I’m great at math. Creative writing was my downfall in school.”

“Well, writing is obviously a strong suit of mine. I think between the two of us, Dre should be okay.”

“Yeah, I think we’d make a great team...if I get the job, of course.”

“Yes, if you get the job.” Michonne looked up and saw a small figure peeking into the study. “Andre Anthony, you can come in now.”

Rick watched as a four-foot ball of energy ran into the room and stopped right in front of him.

“Hi, my name is Andre.”

“Hello, Andre. My name is Rick. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Do you like comic books?”

“I do.”

“Candy?”

“Yep. Big Cats are my favorite.”

Andre’s eyes lit up. “That’s my favorite. Mama’s, too. We have the ice cream. Do you want some?”

Rick chuckled. “Maybe later. Tell me some other things that you like.”

“I like comics, and candy, and soccer, and baseball, and basketball, and trains, and books.”

“Well what do you know, I love all of those things as well. And I coach a kids’ baseball team in the spring.” Rick turned to Michonne. “I forgot to mention that but it’s on my resume.”

Michonne smiled. “No problem. I saw it.”

Rick turned back to Andre. “You ever been to the train museum downtown?”

“Yes, Mama took me last year for my birthday. Have you been?”

“Mmhmm. The model trains were my favorite.”

“Yeah, they were the best! I have a model train and track in my playroom. One of the tracks in messed up. Can you fix it for me?”

“How about we try to fix it together and that way you’ll know how to fix it if I’m not here.”

“Okay.” Andre tugged on Rick’s hand.  “Mama are you done talking to Mister Rick?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. We’re going to my playroom now.” Andre pulled Rick out of the door.

When Rick and Andre were settled in the playroom, Michonne and Jacqui stood outside the door observing.

“What do you think, Jacqui?” Michonne asked lowly.

“Do you really need me to answer that question? Look at the two of them laughing in there. They are fast friends. Plus, Rick has a great background.”

“Sarah was really good, too. And Andre liked her as well.”

“That’s true, but Andre didn’t take to her like this. Plus, Sarah doesn’t fill out a pair of jeans the way Rick does.”

“Jacqui! That is so wrong, not to mention discriminatory.” Michonne whispered harshly. “Besides, if I hire Rick, it will be so he can take care of Andre, not so you can ogle him.”

“Oh, I wasn’t the one ogling him when he first came in. That would be you, little sister.”

“I was not!”

“If y’all had stared at each other any harder, your clothes would have melted off. I saw something between you.”

“Jacqui, you are just mesmerized by a good-looking man. Keep it up and I’ll tell Tyreese.”

“Oh, Tyreese knows I only have eyes for his thick ass. This is about you and the cowboy in there.”

“Jacqui, if you keep talking that way, I won’t hire him. I’m not trying to have there be any messiness.”

“You’re going to hire him because that’s what’s best for Dre,” Jacqui said confidently. “Just don’t be surprised if it also works out pretty well for you.”

Michonne turned back to the door and watched as Rick and Andre laughed while working on the toy train tracks. It was the most animated Michonne had seen her son in a while. Jacqui was right that Michonne would hire Rick because it was best for Andre.

The way he makes me feel doesn’t matter.

Rick has just made it in from the interview when his cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Rick. This is Michonne Richardson.”

He knew exactly who it was. “Hey. I was going to email you when I got home, but I can just tell you now. Thanks again for the interview. It was the most enjoyable one I’ve ever had.”

“Well, thank you for applying. I spoke with Andre and weighed all the pros and cons of all of the applicants. And, if you’re still interested, I’d like to offer you the position.”

“I am very much interested! Thank you so much.”

Michonne smiled at the genuine happiness she could hear in Rick’s voice. “It was Andre who was the deciding factor. He said you were the one.”

“Well, I’ll have to thank the little guy next time I see him.”

“Speaking of, when would you be able to start?”

“I’m ready whenever you need me.”

“Umm,” Michonne cleared her throat. “Uh, I’ll email Dre’s schedule right now along with some other details and contact information and you can start on Monday. That will give me time to get you added to his official pickup list at school and his other activities.”

“Sounds like a plan. Thanks, again Miss Richardson.”

“Please, call me Michonne. And the number I’m calling you from now is my personal cell, so this will be the best way to get into direct contact with me.”

“Okay. I’ll see you on Monday. You have a nice evening, Michonne.

“You have a nice evening as well, Rick.”

Two Months Later

Michonne perused the restaurant menu. She was having a late lunch with Sasha and Jacqui.

“How is everything going with Rick?” Sasha asked.

“It’s going well.”

That wasn’t good enough for Jacqui. “Michonne, put your menu down and give us the dirt.”

Sighing, Michonne put her menu aside and looked at Jacqui and Sasha. “There is no dirt to give. It’s going really well. Dre is happy. He absolutely adores Rick.”

“And how do you feel about him?”

“Jacqui, we aren’t going to start that again. Despite what you think you saw at the interview, Rick and I are nothing more than employer and employee. He’s there for my son and that’s it.”

Sasha leaned forward in her seat. “Wait a minute? What did Jacqui see at Rick’s interview? Michonne, you only said it went well. Y’all been holding out on me?”

Jacqui was all too eager to share the details. “Girl, let me tell you. There was so much eye sex going between those two when they first met, a proper lady would have been embarrassed and looked away.”

“So that means you kept watching and got an eyeful.”

“You damn right.”

Jacqui and Sasha burst into laughter and gave each other a high five.

Michonne was not amused. “There was no eye sex at the interview.”

Jacqui raised a brow. “Come on now, Chonnie.”

“Okay, there was but nothing has come of it and nothing will. Again, we are employer and employee and that is all we will ever be. I—”

Michonne broke off when her phone rang. She smiled at the picture that popped up. “Hey. How is everything?”

“Hey yourself. Everything is fine. I just wanted to let you know Dre and I are home. He wanted to talk to you for a minute.” Rick handed his cell over to Andre.

“Hey, Mama.”

“Hey, Peanut. You glad school let out early?”

“Yep. Rick is going to help me with my homework and then take me to the park. He said we can make pizza for dinner. I can’t wait! Are you going to be able to eat with us tonight?”

Since hiring Rick, Michonne’s practice had gotten even busier. She was glad that he was there to be at home with Andre, but she still felt guilty about missing so much time with her son.

“I’ll try my best, Peanut. Your Aunt Jacqui and Aunt Sasha are here.”

“Tell them I said hey!”

“I will, sweetie.”

“I have to go start my homework, Mama. Rick said we can’t go to the park until I finish it. Bye!”

“Bye, Peanut.” Michonne waited for Rick to get back on the line.

“Hey. I promise neither Dre nor the kitchen will be a disaster when you get home.”

“Oh, I know. You always leave the kitchen cleaner than when you found it,” Michonne said with a laugh. She ignored Jacqui and Sasha focusing on her every word. “Thanks for picking Dre up early today. I hope it didn’t mess up your schedule.”

“No, it’s fine. I brought my stuff over so I can study after we get back from the park.”

“That’s good.”

“So how has your day been so far?”

“It’s been really good.”

“Glad to hear it. What time do you think you’ll be home? Hopefully, I can keep Dre from devouring all of the pizza.”

“I’m not sure. But I’ll try to get home a little earlier so you can get going.”

“Michonne, it’s really not a problem. Hanging with Dre is one of the best parts of my day.”

“Oh really? What are the others...studying?” Michonne joked.

“Hey, studying can be fun! But I was thinking about the talks we have before I go home. The adult conversation is nice.”

“Oh,” Michonne said softly. “I enjoy those, too.”

“Well, I’ll let you go. Have a good rest of the day.”

“You, too.” Michonne held the phone a moment after Rick ended the call. She was dreading looking up at her sisters.

“Girl, you might as well put that phone down and start talking. We heard every word. You should really turn your phone volume down so nosy asses can’t listen in,” Jacqui suggested.

Michonne put her phone away. “Nosy asses like you, Jacqui?”

“Anyway, what’s this about y’all having talks at night?”

“It’s nothing. We talk about what happened during our day and then Rick goes home. End of story. Now can we eat? I need to get back to the office.”

Sasha spoke up before Jacqui could. “We’ll let it go, Michonne. But, for what it’s worth, Dre isn’t the only one who’s been looking happier lately.”

Michonne thought about Sasha’s words on her drive home later that evening. Rick had only been in their lives for a couple of months but it felt like he’d always been there. Despite Jacqui’s insinuations, Michonne and Rick really were just friends. But it was nice to have someone to come home to and share her day with...even if only for a few moments.

“Hey, where are you guys?” Michonne called out as she entered her home.

“We’re in the kitchen!” Rick yelled back.

Michonne kicked off her heels and padded down the hallway to the kitchen. She walked in to find Rick, Andre, and the kitchen island and floor surrounding it covered in flour.

“Okay, this isn’t what you think.” Rick began to explain.

“I think you two started out making pizza and ended up in a flour fight.”

“Okay, it’s exactly what you think.”

Michonne chuckled. “Do I need to hire someone to look after Dre and you, Rick?”

“No, we got it. Right, Dre?”

“Yep. We got it, Mama.”

“Mmhmm. What y’all need to get is a broom and a mop. Let me go change. I’ll handle the counters while you two get the floors.”

“Michonne, you don’t have to do that,” Rick protested.

“Yeah, I do. I don’t trust you two alone with dry goods at the moment,” Michonne said as she walked out of the kitchen. “I’ll be back in a few.”

When she came back downstairs, Rick and Dre were both making fast work of cleaning the floors.

“Hey, look up you two.”

When they looked up, Michonne snapped a photo of the pair on her phone. She took a couple more of them posing before putting her phone away.

“I think those photos will be good blackmail material for Dre when he’s a teenager. I haven’t decided how I’m going to use them against you yet.”

“You’re a cold woman, Michonne,” Rick joked.

The easy smile Michonne had been wearing, faded. “So I’ve been told.”

“Michonne?” Rick was concerned at her sudden mood change.

“It’s nothing.” Michonne clapped her hands and smiled at her son. “Let’s finish cleaning so we can actually make pizza.”

When kitchen was once again spotless, Michonne sent Dre up to his bathroom to shower and change. “Rick you can shower in the guest bath upstairs and I’ll see if I can find something for you to wear.”

Rick eyed Michonne’s leggings and tank top. “I think that look works a whole lot better on you than it would on me,” he joked.

“I have some things to fit you. Let me show you where everything is.”

Rick followed Michonne out of the kitchen and up the stairs, appreciating the view from behind. Michonne stopped at the hallway linen closet upstairs.

“We don’t use loophas in this house.” Michonne stated when she handed Rick the towel and washcloth.

Rick noticed the glint in her eye and knew exactly what she was getting at. “Very funny. I use washcloths, too.”

Michonne tried to look innocent. “What?”

She could barely contain her laughter as Rick closed the bathroom door behind him. But the joke was about to be on her.

Twenty minutes later, Michonne had just sent a freshly showered and pajamas wearing Andre back downstairs when she heard the door to the guest bath open. Rick stood in the doorway holding his dirty clothes and wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.

Michonne swallowed at the sight.

“Hey, Michonne, do you have something I can put these clothes in? I don’t want to get flour all over my car when I drive home.”

“Uh, y-yeah. I mean, don’t worry about it. I was going to throw your clothes in the wash with Dre’s. They’ll be dry before you leave. Um, I found some sweats and a t-shirt for you.” Michonne held her breath as Rick walked towards her to take the clothing.

“Thanks.” Rick offered her a smile before he turned and headed back to the bathroom.

Michonne didn’t blink or let her breath out until the bathroom door closed behind him. She rushed downstairs after Andre.

Rick walked into the kitchen wearing the borrowed clothes. “I put my clothes in the washing machine with Dre’s and started the load.”

“I was going to do that, Rick.”

“It was no problem.” Rick rubbed his hands together. “Now, are we going to make pizza or what?”

“Pizza!” Andre yelled.

“Okay, but we are going to take the easy route this time,” Michonne warned. “I got the pizza crust and sauce out of the pantry. All we have to do is decide on toppings. Andre, what do you want on the pizza?”

“I want ham.”

“Rick?”

“Pepperoni.”

Michonne gave an exaggerated sigh of relief. “I’m glad you didn’t say pineapple or I’d have to fire you.”

“If you’d wanted pineapple, I would have been forced to quit.”

“Funny. I’m adding mushrooms. Is that acceptable for your sensitive palate, Rick?”

“Extremely.”

The trio set about assembling and baking their pizzas. When they were ready, Michonne and Rick carried the pizzas and the rest of their meal outside so they could enjoy dinner by the pool.

“Mmm. I’m going to have to get a pizza stone. My pizza crusts never get this crispy when I use a baking sheet.”

“You make your own pizza dough and then use a baking sheet? That’s like taking the time to do your makeup flawlessly and then putting a mask on. It’s just wasted effort.”

“Calm down there, Chef Gordon. My pizza stone got lost when I moved and I just haven’t had time to replace it.”

“I take my food very seriously.”

“I’ll make sure to remember that.” Rick looked over to Andre. “You enjoying your pizza, Dre?”

“Yep. It’s so good. Can we do this every week?”

“Have pizza?” Michonne questioned.

“Yeah, you, me, and Rick.”

“Sweetie, I’m sure Rick has other things---”

“I actually think that’s a great idea, Dre.” Rick caught Michonne’s eye. “And maybe we could watch a movie after. I mean, if you think you’ll have time.”

“Will you have time, Mama?” a hopeful Andre asked.

“I’ll make the time.” Michonne promised.

Rick smiled. “Okay. But I’m making the crusts from scratch next week.”

The group ate and talked until Andre’s eyes started drooping at the table.  

“Okay, Dre. Time for bed.” Michonne pulled Andre’s chair back and tried to rouse the little boy so he could go upstairs but he was out. “Goodness, now I’m going to have to carry him upstairs.”

“That will be like carrying a load of bricks at this point. Why don’t you let me carry him up and get him tucked in bed?”

“Yes, please. My back thanks you,” Michonne said gratefully. “I’ll clear the table and put the food away.”

“Alright, I’ll meet you in the den.”

Rick was already in the den by the time Michonne finished putting away the food. He was stretched out on the couch with one arm covering his eyes and the other hanging down by his side.

Michonne walked over and bumped the arm that was hanging off of the couch. “Move.”

Rick uncovered his eyes and sat up. “Is that any way to treat a guest in your home?”

Michonne plopped down beside Rick. “No, but you aren’t a guest.”

“Really, what am I?” Rick stared at Michonne intently while waiting for her answer.

“Um, you’re tired and obviously had a really long day. You can head out now if you like.”

Rick let out a little laugh at Michonne’s avoidance. “I need to wait for my clothes to dry. I really don’t want to wear another man’s clothes home.” He pulled at the t-shirt. “Your ex?”

“Yeah. I was looking for something my little brother, Noah, left behind, but I found this and it looked like it would fit.” Michonne sighed. “I thought I’d thrown everything away after he left.”

“Bad breakup?”

“That’s putting it mildly. It was life altering.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No...yes. I’ve held it in for so long that I’m afraid if I start talking about it I’ll never stop talking...or crying.”

“Well, I’m here with a listening ear and a shoulder for you to cry on and an old shirt for you to blow your nose into.”

Michonne smiled. “Don’t you have work to do? You’ve spent just about all day here.”

“I got Dre to read while I studied when we came home from the park. That’s why we were trying to make pizza when you got home. I’m here if you want to talk.”

Michonne laid her head and Rick’s shoulder. “Where do I start?”

Rick wrapped an arm around Michonne and settled into the couch. “Start wherever you want.”

“I first met Mike when I was fifteen. His family moved down here from New York.  All the girls were in love with him from the start. He was tall, dark, handsome and his accent made everything sound so smooth coming out of his mouth.”

“Is that why you liked him?”

“Partly. I mean it didn’t hurt. I was curious about him because he was so unlike any of the guys I’d known.”

“What were those guys like?”

“Sweet country boys...like you.”

“Oh.”

“But I also liked that Mike was an artist,” Michonne continued. “And he was an artist in every way...extremely talented and extremely brooding. I found the combination heady when I was young. But...”

“But you got older and what you wanted in a partner changed.”

“Yeah...but Mike didn’t. But I let it slide when we were together. He was never one to be tied down, so we didn’t actually start dating until senior year of high school. We dated through college. I went to UGA while Mike attended art school back in New York.”

“You didn’t tell me you went to UGA, too.”

“Yeah, when I saw it on your resume, I realized we were there around the same time.”

“Small world.”

“Especially in Georgia.” Michonne laughed before sobering and continuing her story. “I think we made it in the early years because we went to separate schools and didn’t see each other much. Because of the time apart, whenever we did see each other, we didn’t spend too much time talking...if you know what I mean.”

Rick shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to hear this story.”

“Ignore me and continue.”

“It wasn’t until we started living together while I was in law school that I noticed Mike hadn’t changed, he’d only gotten worse. He was trying to make a go of it in art and success was slow coming for him. The longer it took, the more sullen and bitter he got. I tried to love him through it but there comes a point where love isn’t enough. I was just about to end it when I got a little surprise my final year of law school.”

“Andre?”

“Yep. In hindsight, I had enough family support to do it on my own, but I guess I took my pregnancy as a sign that I couldn’t give up on Mike or our relationship, so I stayed. And he ended up being the one who left.”

“While you were pregnant?”

“No, I had Andre in my third year and still graduated on time and got several offers from great firms. I chose one and started my career.”

“What was Mike doing?”

“He stayed home with Dre and worked on his art and kept trying to make it big. But nothing clicked for him and everything was falling into place for me career wise.”

“I’m sure that didn’t help your situation any.”

“No, it didn’t. Mike tried to make an effort in the beginning. He’d show up at firm functions and try to smile, but I knew he resented being there as my significant other. He hated when any of the wives of the other lawyers tried to commiserate with him over being a stay-at-home parent and tried to arrange play-dates. Soon, he just stopped going to the functions altogether and we stopped talking about our days and pretty much anything else.” Michonne wiped at her eyes. “One Friday when Andre was two, I got a call from my sister that Mike had dropped him off at her house along with a note. I picked up my son, came home, and read my ‘Dear Michonne’ letter. I allowed myself the weekend to cry and then I started making plans. I finally felt free. I didn’t have to hold myself back and smother my ambitions to make Mike feel better. I decided right then to work at my firm a few more years to save money and then I was going to do what I’d always wanted and open my own firm and focus on my son, my career, my family, and my friends.”

“What about you, Michonne?” Rick asked softly.

“What about me?”

“You didn’t name yourself on the list of things you decided to focus on. You’ve spent the last five years not only not focusing on yourself but not even making yourself a priority.”

“I had other things to take care of first.”

“But who was taking care of you?”

“I can take care of myself.”

“You can, but that doesn’t mean you should always have to. You don’t have to do everything by yourself.”

Michonne pulled out of Rick’s embrace. “If I don’t do it, who will?”

The couple stared at each other in silence before Rick glanced down at Michonne’s lips and started slowing moving forward. Right before their lips touched, Michonne pulled back and stood up.

“I think your clothes are dry by now. I’ll go get them for you.” She rushed out of the room.

“Michonne. Michonne!” Rick slumped back against the couch. “Shit.”

“She couldn’t even look at me as she handed me my clothes and some leftover pizza. Just told me to drive safely. We’ve barely talked since unless it’s about Dre.” Rick took a drink of beer after relaying what happened last week to his friends.

“Maybe you scared her off trying to read her mind and shit.”

“I wasn’t trying to read her mind, Shane. I was just trying to help.”

Shane scoffed. “Were you trying to help her or you?”

“What do mean?”

“I’m just saying. Ain’t no way you’d get with a woman who was still hung up on her ex. You’re too much of a gentleman and considerate and all that shit. If you helped her to get over her ex, then you could slide right on in there.”

“It wasn’t like that, Shane. I do like, Michonne. I’ve liked her since I met her. And getting to know her has only made my feelings stronger but I would never try to manipulate the situation.”

“You gonna stop working for her?” Abe asked.

“No, why would I do that?”

Abe shrugged. “It’s gonna get mighty awkward if y’all continue to ignore the elephant in the room.”

“I can’t force her to talk about it.  And I wouldn’t leave Dre just because things are awkward between me and his mom. That’s what her ex did and I’m not going to do that.”

“How deep are your feelings for her, man?”

Rick smiled at Teddy’s question. “I’ve never felt this way before. I can’t explain it, but having Michonne and Dre in my life just feels natural and like it’s supposed to be that way. I want to move forward to see where things go with Michonne, but I think she’s afraid to trust again.”

“Well, you are going to have to love her through it.”

Rick thought about Michonne’s words to him. “Michonne said that sometimes that isn’t enough.”

“If you aren’t with the right person or in the right situation, nothing is ever going to be enough. You just have to know when it’s right.” Teddy paused. “Do you think Michonne’s the right person for you?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you’re the right person for her?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you be there for her in whatever way she needs until she’s ready.”

“Thanks, Teddy.” Rick chuckled at his friend. “I think you are in the wrong profession.”

“Damn straight he is,” Abe chimed in. “I think you just helped Rick...and me.”

“For real, man?”

“Yeah. I got a little lady that I’ve been wantin to get serious with--”

“You’re talking about Sasha, right?” Teddy asked.

Abe drew up his eyebrows. “How did you know?”

Shane laughed. “Everybody knows that. You look at her like she walks on cotton candy and shits out rainbows. You got it bad, man.”

“I thought I was playing it cool.”

“You play it cool around Sasha about as well as you play poker.”

“I played well enough to take your ass to the cleaners in the last round, Shane.”

“And I’m about to win my money and yours back. You’ll have to find some other way to pay for your hair dye. If Dr. T-Dog and his love lessons are over for the night, let’s get back to playing cards.”

“Maybe you should listen to T-Dog’s advice and let somebody love you through whatever the hell has got you so messed up,” Abe quipped.

Shane shuffled the cards. “If you would have suggested that I let somebody fuck me through it, then I might have listened.”

Rick kept Teddy’s advice in mind when he saw Michonne the next day. Dre was playing in his first basketball game and Rick had promised he’d be there. He pulled up to Michonne’s house right as she and Dre were walking to the car.

Dre ran over and gave Rick a hug. “You made it!”

“I wouldn’t miss this for anything, Dre.” Rick stood up and nodded to Michonne. “Hey. How are you.”

“I’m good, Rick. And you?”

“I’ve been better.”

Michonne looked away and cleared her throat. “Are you riding with us?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t.”

The ride over would have been silent if not for Andre’s excited chatter from the backseat. Rick and Michonne spent the short trip responding to the little boy in between taking surreptitious glances at each other.

After Michonne walked Dre over to his team, she found Rick in the stands.

“I saved a seat for you.”

“Thanks.” Michonne took a deep breath. “Rick, I—”

“Rick Grimes! I thought that was you. What are you doing here?”

Rick and Michonne turned to see three women standing over them.

“Hey, Whitney. I’m here to watch Dre.”

“That is so sweet! Isn’t that sweet ladies?” Whitney’s backup crew nodded in agreement.

“Michonne, this is Whitney, Bailey, and Jenna.”

“Yeah, we are all good friends from carpool. You must be Andre’s mother. It’s nice to finally see you. The way Rick gushes over you, if I didn’t know he was the nanny, I would have thought he was your husband.”

Michonne glanced over to see Rick blushing.

"According to Rick, you’re a hardworking woman. I guess that’s why you hired him. And the carpool crew would like to thank you for that. He is just a sight for sore eyes.” Whitney turned her attention back to Rick. “I just hate the kids didn’t have school yesterday. We missed talking to you. We really have to arrange an after-school play-date for all of the kids.”

Michonne’s head snapped up at those words.

“I think Dre would enjoy it, but you’d have to clear that with Michonne first.”

“Oh, of course. Well, looks like the game is about to start. We need to get back to our seats. We’ll see you on Monday, Rick. And don’t forget to bring your dip recipe.”

After the ladies moved on, Michonne just stared at Rick.

“What?” he finally asked.

“Is that what you deal with every day?”

“The ladies? They mean well and they don’t hit on me near as much as they used to in the beginning. I really think they see me as one of the girls now.”

Michonne shot Rick a look.

“Okay, maybe the last part is a stretch.”

“No, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about arranging play-dates and swapping recipes. That doesn’t bother you?”

“Not really. Now it took some getting used to, but I guess they are sort of my friends now. And we talk about other stuff like television shows and some of them are into sports. It’s just a nice way to pass the time while we’re waiting to pick up the kids.”

“That would have been Mike’s worst nightmare come true.”

“It really doesn’t bother me Michonne. It’s not a threat to who I am in the least.” Rick sighed. “I’m not Mike, Michonne.”

“I know that. I do. He’s all I knew for so long. I just have to let it go.”

“You will eventually.”

Michonne nodded. “Do you really gush over me and my career with your crew?”

“Yeah.”

That’s something Mike had never done. He’d seen her career as a hindrance. 

“Thank you.”

Rick clasped Michonne’s hand with a smile. They were taking baby steps, but they’d get to where they needed to be.

“I’m not Mike.”

Michonne thought back on Rick’s words as she waited for Sasha to arrive. Intellectually, she knew Mike and Rick were nothing alike, but, emotionally, it was hard to grasp that fact. Michonne’s thoughts were interrupted by Sasha walking into her den.

“Hey, girl.”

“Hey, Sasha.”

“I rang the doorbell but you didn’t answer, so I used my key.”

“Yeah, I’ve been distracted lately.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“It’s Rick. I told him about Mike and then we almost kissed and I freaked out and started being distant.”

“Oh, I need to be seated for this.” Sasha took a seat on the couch beside Michonne. “Did you not want him to kiss you?”

“I did want it. I still do. I’m just...I don’t know. It’s so hard for me to let go and trust my heart with someone else. I thought I’d dealt with everything but I guess not.”

“Michonne you can’t punish Rick for what Mike did. He’s not Mike.”

“That’s what he said.”

“He’s right. Mike is off somewhere living the life of his choosing and you are letting him choose how you live yours as well. You have to let it go. That doesn’t mean you have to forget what he did, but it does mean you have to come to terms with and resolve your feelings about what he did so you can start fresh with Rick.”

“How do I do that?”

Sasha laughed. “I don’t know. I’m trying to learn how to do that myself. But I’ve decided that I’m going to try. Bob is gone and I’m never going to forget him and he will always hold a piece of my heart, but I have to move on. You were right when you said he wouldn’t want me to stop living just because he had no choice but to. He always wanted me to be happy. And I’m going to do that for him and for myself.”

Michonne pulled Sasha into a hug. “I’m so happy for you, Sasha. And I’m glad you came to this in your own time and on your terms.”

Sasha smiled as she sat back. “I actually feel lighter. I didn’t realize how much I was letting grief weigh me down.”

“I understand about letting things weigh you down.”

“Michonne, you said it’s hard for you to trust your heart with Rick.”

“In a way, yeah.”

“What means more to you than anything in this world?”

Michonne answered without a moment’s thought. “Andre.”

“Do you trust Rick with him?”

“Without question.”

“So if you can trust him with the person you love most in this world, doesn’t that show you that you can trust him with your heart?”

At work the next morning, Michonne scrolled through the pictures on her phone until she found the one she was looking for. She smiled at Dre and Rick covered in flour and hamming it up for the camera. Her conversation with Sasha had given Michonne a lot to think about last night.

Michonne did trust Rick implicitly with Andre. She just wondered when she was going to be ready to move forward with him in all aspects of her life. What was it going to take?

The phone buzzed in Michonne’s hand. Her breath caught when she looked down and saw Dre’s school on the caller id.

“Hello?”

“Ms. Richardson?”

“Yes.”

“This is Principal Nelson from Richmond Country Day. Andre fell ill in class. He complained of severe stomach pains. We’ve called an ambulance. Hold on a minute, please...they just arrived.  Let me find out where they are taking him.”

Michonne was up and grabbing her purse and coat as fast as she could. She heard the principal talking to the paramedics.

“Ms. Richardson?”

“Yes.” Michonne had tears in her voice and eyes.

“They are taking Andre to Tompkins Memorial.”

“Thank you. I’m on my way.”

“We’ll keep Andre in our thoughts and prayers. Please let us know how he’s doing.”

“I will.” Michonne ended the call and rushed out of her office. “Lisa, I have an emergency with Dre. Reassign what meetings you can to my associates and cancel the rest.” Michonne ran to the elevators without a backwards glance at her shocked assistant.

By the time Michonne made it to the hospital, she was on the verge of a panic attack. She ran in and found the service desk.

“They just brought my son in! He’s seven-years old. His name is Andre Anthony.”

The front desk clerk checked her computer. “Yes, he’s in the children’s wing on the fifth floor. He doesn’t have a room yet. It looks like they are prepping him for emergency surgery.”

Michonne clutched the desk to stay upright. “Thank you.” She took the elevator to the fifth floor and spoke with a floor nurse.

“Miss Richardson, I’m glad you’re here. Let me page a doctor.”

An older gentleman with kind eyes came out to greet Michonne. “Miss Richardson? Hello. My name is Dr. Greene. Your son is stable. But his appendix was close to rupturing when he was brought in, so we had to prep him for surgery right away. Now that you’re here, are there any objections to the procedure?”

“Of course not. Just make my baby better.”

“We will. You just have a seat and Nurse Rhee will give you some forms to fill out. We’ll make sure to keep you updated.”

“Can I see him before he goes back?”

“I’m sorry but he’s already in the operating room. Time was of the essence. But we’ll take you back as soon as he’s in recovery.”

Michonne swallowed and tried to hold her tears at bay. “Okay.” She wandered over to the waiting area and sat, unsure of what else to do.

Nurse Rhee brought Michonne a stack of forms to fill out. “Dr. Greene is the best doctor around and he’ll take good care of your son.”

“You’ve worked with him a lot?”

Nurse Rhee smiled. “You could say that. He’s my father and he treats all the patients here like they’re his own.”

Michonne just nodded.

Seeing that the young mother was barely holding it together, Nurse Rhee asked, “Is there anyone you want me to call? You shouldn’t have to do this by yourself.”

“Yes, could you call this number, please? I don’t think I can get through the conversation without crying.” Michonne wrote down the name and number of the one person she needed.

Twenty-five minutes later, Rick raced through the door. Michonne jumped up and ran into his arms.

“I got here as fast as I could! What happened? Where’s Dre?” Rick rubbed him hands up and down Michonne’s back. “Michonne, I need you to talk to me. You’re scaring right now.”

Michonne pulled back and led Rick over the waiting room. “He’s in surgery. His appendix almost ruptured. He was fine last night, Rick. He didn’t have a fever. He didn’t complain about a stomach ache. How could this have happened? How could I not have realized he was sick?”

“Michonne, you can’t blame yourself. We just have to be thankful that the doctors caught it in time. How long has he been in surgery?”

“I’m not sure. I lost track of time. They were prepping him when I arrived.”

“I would have been here sooner, but I had a seminar in the city today. I don’t know how many traffic laws I broke speeding over here. My heart was in my throat the whole time.”

“Rick, I wouldn’t have called if I knew you were in class. I’m sorry.”

“What are you talking about? I could have been in the middle of an exam and I would have left. There is no way I wasn’t going to be here for you and Dre. You’re both too important to me.”

It was at that moment, that everything fell into place for Michonne. “I’m sorry.”

“Michonne, I told you it’s not a problem.”

“No, I’m sorry for dragging my feet about us. I’m sorry for not trusting you with my heart.”

“Hey, it’s okay. We can talk about this later.”

“But—”

“Really, we can do this later. I know your emotions are all over the place right now.”

“They are, but I need to say this. When they told me that Dre was being taken to the hospital, I couldn’t think straight. All I wanted was to see my son...and you. I wanted you with me. I needed you. And that’s how I’ve felt for a while. I realized it’s not that I didn’t trust you with my heart, I didn’t trust myself and what I was feeling. I didn’t trust myself with happiness...or love. Rick and I want you in my life as well as Dre’s.”

Rick smiled at Michonne’s words. “That’s what I want, too. It’s what I’ve wanted for a while now.”

“Miss Richardson?”

Michonne and Rick stood as the doctor approached.

“Yes.”

“Andre is out of surgery. Everything went well and he’s fine.”

“Thank God he’s okay. I was worried he’d be back there for a long time.”

“If there aren’t any complications, appendectomies are usually relatively quick surgeries. Andre’s procedure went very smoothly. We were able to remove his appendix before it ruptured. He’s on his way to recovery right now. He’ll be there for about an hour and then he’ll be moved to his room. You should be able to take him home in a couple of days.”

“Can we see him now?” Michonne was anxious to hold her son.

“You sure can. I’ll have Nurse Rhee come get you when he’s settled in recovery.”

“Thank you, Dr. Greene.”

“Not a problem, young lady.”

Rick embraced Michonne. “He’s going to be alright.”

“Excuse me.”  

Rick and Michonne pulled apart to find Nurse Rhee waiting.  

“Sorry to interrupt. I’m here to take you to your son. Are you ready?”

Michonne entwined her fingers with Rick's and looked into his eyes as she answered. “Yes, I’m ready.”

 Six weeks later

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Andre! Happy birthday to you!”

The song ended with loud cheers and applause for the birthday boy.

“Make a wish Dre and blow out your candles,” Michonne instructed.

Eight-year-old Andre closed his eyes hard and concentrated on his wish. After a few moments, his eyes popped opened and his blew out the candles on his train-shaped cake.

“Great job, Dre! Now, let’s cut the cake. Michonne, babe, can you hand me the knife?”

Michonne and Rick worked together to cut the cake and pass out slices to Andre’s party guests, which included classmates, family, and family friends.

When everyone was fed, Rick and Michonne grabbed a slice for themselves to share and headed over to sit with Jacqui and Tyreese.

“You two did a great job on this party. I think I want you to plan my next one,” Tyreese joked.

“Rick and Dre did most of the planning. I just reined them in when they started going overboard.”

Rick scoffed at Michonne’s words. “You didn’t go overboard, huh? So why I was up all night putting together the massive model train set that you bought Dre? It’s a nicer train than some of the ones at the train museum.”

“He wanted a new train so I bought him one,” Michonne stated innocently. “And you weren’t up all night just laying down train tracks.”

“I sure wasn’t, was I?” Rick pulled Michonne to him for a kiss.

“Oh, so you were laying down the tracks and the pipe? Get it!” Jacqui cackled.

Tyreese nudged his wife. “Jacqui!”

“Oh, Ty, unclench. Part of the reason you love me is for this mouth of mine. Try to deny it,” Jacqui challenged.

Tyreese smiled and didn’t say anything.

“Mmmhmm, that’s what I thought.” Jacqui winked at her husband before turning back to Rick and Michonne. “Y’all really did do a great job though.”

“Well, Michonne and I knew we wanted it to be something big. We wanted it to be a celebration of Dre’s birthday and him recovering from surgery.”

It had been six weeks since Andre’s emergency appendectomy. Just as Dr. Greene had promised, Andre was out of the hospital two days later.  He returned to school a week and a half after that. The little boy was back to his energetic and active self.

“I also think you could call it a celebration of you two finally getting your act together.”

“Jacqui, you mean a celebration of me finally getting my act together. Rick knew what he wanted, I just had to let some things go that were holding me back so I could catch up to where he was.”

Michonne and Rick had been inseparable since Andre’s surgery. Michonne let go of all of the baggage of the past on that day and hadn’t looked back since. Her relationship with Rick had flourished to the point that he’d essentially moved in considering how often he was at the house. And his nanny role with Andre had morphed into something of a surrogate father role. Michonne, Rick, and Andre were beyond happy with all the changes that had taken place in their lives.

Jacqui motioned to the other side of the yard. “It looks like you aren’t the only one who is ready to let the pain go and move forward.”

Across the way, Sasha and Abe sat talking and laughing by the pool. They weren’t dating, but they were growing closer every day. The light was back in Sasha’s eyes and her smile.

Sasha wasn’t the only one with happiness shining in their eyes. Andre was taking a small break from playing to enjoy his cake with some friends. His birthday was better than he ever imagined it would be.

One little boy, who was on his third slice of cake, smiled at Andre. “This is the best birthday party I’ve ever been to!”

“Thanks, Carter. My mom and da-...uh Rick...are the best.”

“What did you wish for, Dre?” Sheena, one of Dre’s classmates who had a crush on him, asked.

“Don’t tell her, Dre. You can’t tell anyone!” Carter exclaimed.

“Why can’t he tell me?”

“Because if he tells anyone, it won’t come true.”

“You think your wish is gonna come true, Dre?” Sheena asked.

Andre thought about what he’d wished for as he blew out his birthday candles and looked over to his mother and Rick. Andre smiled as he witnessed the couple feed each other pieces of cake before leaning in for a lingering kiss.

“I know it is.”

Andre’s wish came true when Michonne and Rick got married one year later. Rick officially adopted Andre on his tenth birthday. That was the same day Andre found out he was going to be a big brother.

 @richonnefics

[iraniq]

Imagine... Coffee

I was at work, at the almost empty cafeteria. Just causal staying at the window, awaiting the crowd for lunch to appearm as any other day. Then I saw this girl. I knew her, well not exactly, but I see her every day and night the same time. She must be living somewhere nearby. I was kinda a fan. She was indeed very entertaining with her outfits, but also having the balls to go out the way she like it. She was just walking on the other side of the street, tripped, in her own foot and stoopped to fix her shoes. I so totally relate to her in this particular moment.

Although it bugged me, why was she so skinny. As she was ready she kept waking like a boss and I chuckled to myself.

My coworkers got me out off my thoughts. As I was the only one who knew how to fix the old coffee machine, that's why no one else bothered to learn, my duty called. After couple of minutes someone walked in. It was her... Well she wasn't exactly "she". Everyone got silent. She just sat next to the window and got her phone. I sighed, so much stupidity. I grabbed a menu and approached her.

- What will be for you miss?

- Just a coffee darling... And a juice... I am trying to have it a little bit healthier. - she raised her missing eyebrows and I chuckled.

As I returned to my previous patient and prepared the cup I heard the manager yelling. I barely understand what he was saying...

- ... You nasty homo... We don't want any AIDS in here... Garbage....

I rolled my eyes. The same man, who loves to smoke outside in the sunny days only to watch the young school girls in their short skirt, the dick doesn't even hide it. After he was done yelling. She simply answered she was awaiting for her coffee.

- We ain't serving coffee to hobos! - he left proud.

The rest were again quiet. She fixed her hair and just stood there. They start whispering. The door bell ringer a couple of bikers waked in. They kinda liked me, because I was listening to their music. She must got scared, because as she saw them she gathered her stuff and left. 

As I looked again I saw her outside. Sitting on a bench in the park. She must be freezing. Fuck!

I got the coffee. And walked outside.

- You forgot your coffee miss.

She looked surprised to see me.

- Thank you darling. - she smiled.

- This one is on me!

- Don't you dare! - she start digging in her purse.

I waked away fast.

- You can try, but I doubt you will manage in these horrible shoes. - I heard her yelling "Hey!" after me and laughed.

In the afternoon I saw her again. Apparently going home.

Her pantyhose had a hole. But as she was crossing the street she looked happy. So I cancelled my worry.

After cople of days I saw her again, but this time in the center, the small streets.

She looked in a hurry. She was speed walking in her horrible shoes again, with a coffee and some papers.

I had a meeting with my friends. We sat in the fancy cafeteria in the center, had some drinks, we laughed. Later we hit a caraoce club. I ended up slightly drunk, and decided to ditch them earlier. On my way home I stopped at the supermarket for food. Obviously. And then I saw her again.

- Hey little angel! - she smiled.

- Hey, beautiful!

- Oh come on! - she blushed.

- Hobo! - a man yelled passing by us.

- You fucking apologize! - I yelled.

- I ain't apologizing to this!

- Dick...

- Shush, darling! - she grabbed my hand. - No need to get mad over him.

- I am so sorry... For my coworker, and the manager... And...

- Please tell me he didn't fire you! - she was concerned more about me than the stupid moron, who was still madly staring at her.

- Nah, he doesn't even saw me!

- And your coworkers?

- I am the only one who can do shut around there, they won't dare rat on me.

She laughed.

- Come on, darling, shop with me! - She laughed hugging me. - The name is Rayon.

- El!

- Just El?

- That's the only short version of my name that I like.

- Horrible parents ruining your name for you? - I nodded. - Welcome to the club, I'll be your guide. - she laughed.

As we finished our shopping, she insisted on paying for my stuff, we had a cat fight at the pay desk, but I end up agreeing with her. Not like I could win. Besides that the security was heading out way.

We said our goodbyes and parted ways.

Two weeks later we met again. I was in her neighborhood. I had to move out of my previous place and there was the only available place to rent. It looked filthy and gross. But then I saw her.

- Hey Ray!

- Hey, girlfriend! - she smiled and rushed to hug me. - What brings you around?

- I am kind looking for a place to rent, for myself. I quit my second job and the place I had, got to expensive.

- You can stay with me! I have another free room.

- I am just looking for now, but thank you. I'll have you in mind.

- Sexy, come in! - a blond boy yelled.

- My man is calling me! - she smiled and ran away. Got in the car and left.

Few days later I had a day free to renew my health papers for the cafeteria. I was in the hospital waiting for it, as I saw her again.

- Hey Ray!

She looked sad.

- Hey, Rayon... Are you OK?

- Oh, gorgeous! - she faked a smile. - I am fine! You? - she looked sincerely concerned about me.

- I am here to renew my health papers. Cafeteria?

- Oh yes, silly me. - she laughed.

- You look exhausted. Do you want me to help you home?

- Oh no, my dear I am waiting...

- Is everything all right.

Her eyes got tearly.

- My boyfriend... - she whiped some tears - ... someone beat him.

- Oh my... Is he all right.

- His arm is broken. - she breathed in, waving her hands to dry the tears. - He is fine. Well that's what he said, but... How fine can you be with a brokeb arm?

I hugged her.

She pushed me away.

- You thought I was homeless hooker, don't you? That's why you gave me the coffee for free, which I am not forgotten, btw!

- Guilty as charged! - I said, no point of lying.

- Well guess what Missy, I work in the health care ambassy in the center. I answer for the buget for alternative AIDS medicaments, as you know the well known ones, are only ruining the body even more. - she strike a pose and I chuckled. - And guess who graduated business school with full glory? Also me! ... Well it was Raymond actually, but who cares! - at this point I was already laughing. - And for your information my place is all sunshines and fucking rainbows, not only because of the gays. It's clean, quiet, if it's not Tuesday of course, and they all shower! OK! They look nasty because they are giving free duty at the shelter! So you better move there, because there is no plase like him! - she made a weird face and this funny thing with her eyes.

- You just confirmed by theory, that the "normal" people are the one to blame!

- Well yeah...

- So... As you are not homeless, and you are apparently super brave, why you ran away of the cafeteria?

- I didn't ran away, it was because of the bikers... - she got silent - one of the men's brother died recently, he is coping with his death his own way, I didn't wanted to make him eve more sad. The boy wasn't gay or anything. He was teacher in the University, one of the best, if I must say. Physics, total genous... and i am not saong it only becaus I suck at physics. - she whispered the last one.

- Wow... - I was speechless.

- Your boy will be fine, Ray. I mean it.

- Oh thank you darling! - She hugged the nurse. I smiled as well. - That's my roommate, El! - she showed me, like a souvenir, I chuckled and did a little bow, the girl smled brightly.

Rayon creeped in the room. I saw her hitting the blond boy with a pillow, he was laughing and she was crying. I looked surprised. 

- She was just crying over his broken arm, seconds ago...

- Don't worry this is typical with them. How long have you been living together? - she laughed - You must know this by now.

- Am... I haven't moved in... Yet!

- Come on, baby, we are going home. - she shared kisses with the nurse and we left.

Five days later I had moved my stuff in Ray's place. The neighbors were amazing. I had taken some days off so I could manage. And also to look around my new place. The neighbors were amazing, helped us. Made a Welcoming party, although it wasn't Tuesday.

I was at home, still in my days off, mostly laming around the place, when I got a call from Ray.

- Sweetie, I need help, it’s fucking important… Shut up with your language Steve… Hey, El? Are yoy there!

- Yep I am here!

- In my room, on my desk, there must me a folder… Red folder. I need you to bring it to me. OK?

- You room… The deck. Yes, red folder. Dark red folder?

- Yes. Same one!

- OK. But what if you lived alone?

- I won’t be distracted by your sexy ass in lace underwear.

- I am sorry I had the nature need to pee! - I teased while I was putting my shoes on. - I thought you were into boys?

- I am! But I ain’t looking away of beauty tho! - she sassed me.

- Well, in that case it ain’t my fault you were staring at my as…

At the door I met one of our neighbors.

- I told you to be careful with her!

- You did, Trevor, you did! - I rushed to the bus stop.

- Oh, don’t mind him, he still hasn’t got over me!

- Men! - I laughed.

10min. later I was in the health ambassy. As I wasn’t allowed to go any further, she was waiting for me at the lobby.

- How are you even existing in these horrible shoes? - she rushed and kissed me.

- You are a life Savior! Darling! - she hugged me again. - We should party! Get drunk. But not now, now I have to work go away! - she rushes me out.

- As long as Steve and Trevor tag along! - I teased.

- Oh please! - she made a painful grymas. - I’d rather go as a boy!

- Eww…. - I laughed and left.

Sunday.

I got home from work. I found Ray lying in bed. Her boyfriend was singing and dancing, waving his one arm around.

- Oh my, a Star! - I jumped next to her in bed.

He had am amazing voice, but for the fun he was singing like a dying cat. He kept on performing. We danced and sang along. After a solid hour he collapsed on her bed and start snoring.

- Let’s go out! - she shruged me.

- What! Now? it’s 1 in the morning. It’s late!

- Don’t be ridiculous! It’s early. Come on I still own you a drink, as you made it clear you don’t drink coffee.

- Rayon… Are you for real, this was like 2 months ago.

- I told you I won’t forget this. Come on, get ready.

As I just got out if the bathroom, still in my underwear, she was already done, and strike a pose to show off her outfit.

- Wow! Your boyfriend might have to look for another girlfriend!

- If you keep doing this, he might will! - she blew me an air kiss.

- Do what? Have underware, shame on me… Besides that, you have some too. I’ve seen you! - I pointed my finger at her.

- Well, not like this one for sure. - she winked.

- Ugh… - i waled to my room - Eny me, peasant! - I hised before closing the door.

In 10min. I was ready.

- Done, baby…

- … And you better drag me to one of these rock clubs you know, otherwise we are gonna have a problem!

She looked at me, speechless.

- And you dare call me “are you gonna go out naked like this again”. - she said making air quotes.

- Bitch, staph! We are going sluity tonight, on a girls night... besides that you dress like this for work.

- You know ... - she shruged - Steve! ... also Trevor ... - we both laughed.

She left a note on the pillow next to her boy - “girls night out :* ”. She placed a kiss on his cheek and we left.

_____________________

http://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/168851158442/mr-leto-masterlist-updated

_____________________

@diyunho @rhina988 @nikkitasevoli @auntiemama1 @wolfgirl1074 @sookieblack12 @spillinginkwithlove @jayded-dreams @cadeathens @fanalityfiction @lady-grinning-soul-k @lostnorthofheaven @lylabell2013 @leto-madness @elliegrace139 @cleoleto @heavenlygaga @lg1130 @darthjokerisyourfather @deathbyechelon @jletolove4eva @jaseminedenise

[akira-seijuro]

Hmm you see I turned 24. I am not narcissistic but I am when it comes to my birthday, I am the Empress of every existential entity on this one fucking day. You don’t get it? Fine, but I do.

Lets see, a small girl holding a peach colored teddy bear in a world filled with dinosaurs, mammoths and well, plants and water bodies. Beautiful world. But just one girl standing there, right there absorbing all that she can and believing that the world is just this, till the sight of the horizon with no one to communicate, the only human growing a spine. I do not actually mean those historic beings, it’s metaphoric for all character-set society with standard roles to observe which is rhetoric and non-adaptive at the same time because every one looked like they belong to different species of humans. She was the weird one trying to be one of those historic beings, the best of those for 13.5 years bearing all the torture of the dirty minds, passive minds and well, stupid minds trying to make believe that she was one of them, one of all those there. Nevertheless, she was beneficial to every single person she encountered in that ice age and the Mesozoic era before, she helped them by remembering the paths as to where they could find food, how they can play defensive and the offensive. She was the damn good empress of that small world democratically praised. But then once they didn’t need her, she was cast aside and sent into exile. Oh if you are wondering about her parents, she was brought up by two humans that belonged to the Mesozoic era. So she was self sufficient in food and all other she needed to survive to perform her duties as the little girl before and after the peach teddy bear tore apart by her cousins. So, as I was telling you, she was exiled by her fellow Mesozoic human species after they became self-sufficient, a common characteristic of many homo sapiens I would say.

Then she realized she either needs to adapt and become one of them, one that could tear up a person after he/she is no use or leave them. Well, given her character, common, she is the main character what else do you expect?  So, she left them. Lived alone for years, seeing the the destruction of ice age and Mesozoic era and  how the world turned it’s back on the creatures it once homed and nurtured because it was unable to accommodate them. It just put itself as first priority just like how the air hostess always said, put your own oxygen mask first then get to your child. It just followed the rules very strictly for once. While this transformation into a pure Cenozoic happened, there came fossil fuels that were made out of her so called friends, she learnt to be able to use the fossil fuels, not her friends, now to go to places and electricity and for the good, blah blah blah. See, the transition, it wasn’t smooth, it had taken the lives of many, well it also was making the lives of many Mesozoic humans inhabitable, so she saw all the struggle. World turned it’s back on her father, so she saw him trying to adapt with all the means available and fellow Mesozoic humans pretending, sometimes truthfully trying to use their.. Wow. Finally. the word comes out. their ‘brains’ to go against the world that was turning it’s back. She used to think, weren’t we all supposed to be the same, we all have digestive system, nervous system, reproductive system in all our bodies. Why different DNA’s? Why these DNA’s were not able to adapt. Why weren’t we able to become X-Men, so much of collateral damage so that the world can find it’s perfect match as to who can live on it. How inhospitable was this environment because of the competition, why was there a lot of chaos all of a sudden and suffering, pain and difference in standard of living across the world based on a paper product that was different everywhere. How could a paper dictate how forward a world can be at one place and different at another. I know too many real questions. Obviously she tried going with the herd, fell in love that was never nourished, she was laughed at because the questions were too real, some called her retarded for not being able to fake an emotion, some called different names because she believed that humans can co-exist without taking gender and blood into consideration. Family doesn’t necessarily mean having the same last name. Scientifically we all have the same last name. Sapiens. But fuck science, right. Doesn’t let the bureaucrats flourish, doesn’t promote Julius Ceasers’ because you know not all the can be Julius’, but being the senators who stabbed him, it was always easier to be one of them in all the universal  time coordinated plus or minus based time  zones. North pole keeps shifting, still humans fasten the process by a year, 34 miles. Record. So proud. El Ninos’ don’t stop, plates keep rubbing against each other, volcanoes, my god, they have had enough. They bottled up for centuries and they were sick and tired of tiny bugs trying to show off everywhere. So, yes, where was I? co-existence. Fancy word. She realized she needed to get out of this comfortably disillusioned circle and go to some oblong place where she can see some things straight as in how she needn’t prove her character or have to put in so many efforts to see what is in front of her. Congratulations babe! she thought she finally made it.

Just about to enter the free zone of independence, she was hit hard with neoplastic activity in her family. Metastasis to her beloved man who made her feel like a princess for 14 years. It was an achievement. Trust me. I haven’t seen anyone who has more guts than her when it comes to standing up for what she believed in. Man taught her well, though he himself couldn’t do that. He was her army, her general, her armor that cut through anyone that tried to fight her. Though this might be an exaggeration, she was one of the closest to being an ideal human according to Epictetus and Buddha, a Julius Caeser species, say some 60% because she stuck to her ideals which sometimes did not shed the light, which sometimes threw her into infinite darkness, because her body and brain were not built to live in any other way. So metastasis was one of those things that threw her into infinite darkness, because of just one word. Love. What the fuck man, a chemical reaction in brain can cause a human with wbc, rbc and thrombocytes go bizarre? Shut up. But it is true. No wbc can counter the excessive production of cortisol or insufficient production of dopamine. She badly needed serotonin-nor-epinephrine re-uptake inhibitors. She, only she made all the calls to define the way she could take care of herself, because no one could and no one gave a damn because everything looked strong and alright on the outside. She met more cenozoic humans, mesozoic humans, got more cortisol and got her brain shrunk and body bulged up. She practically was failing in terms of self defense of the mind game. Note that she was commendable at playing video games. She tried to channel many people struggling with the same cortisol function, such as Vincent Van Gogh, Ellen DeGenres, Angelina Jolie. She read tirelessly, she painted and developed her signature styles in everything, she wrote countless pains, she wore her broken heart on her sleeve, trying to spread warmth even when she knew that there was no hope. She defined herself, she built a character and strength for herself and was real. She became the human who could be happy, sad, depressed, ecstatic, a person who could jump when someone she believed in succeeded and cried when someone she saw was in pain. She was emotional. But, she always had the right emotion with respect to the situation, just how a human could be. A real human being. She was good, she was bad, she was warm, she was cold. She was distant and she was close. There wasn’t a single human whom she met, who didn’t connect with her soul, the ones whom she believed in especially. Likewise they were able to be their own selves with her because she was accommodating and simply put, she gave everyone a chance, she gave a fuck. But that’s a dangerous zone. Being original. So people tend to deny that. But nevertheless, she was a lone wolf crying in silence, howling at the moon every night. When she lost, she accepted and held her head with grace. She took charge and tried to honor her dad’s death. She was the person who tried until the very end just like her dad. She still is too. Unfortunately, not all want to be given so much fuck. Because shit gets real when they live as an original. She fell in love again, this time consciously and responsibly, she did not want to give up without trying. But cenozoic human liked her too, at least she thought he did and she wanted to live with a renewed hope. That she could do it. That she could have almost everything.That she would laugh, she would cry, she could have a safe space that would not require her to put in efforts, she felt understood, but little did she know about that differently placed human. The reason why she could make friends with anyone on the planet, who necessarily was not from her place was because she was a human being first and she behaved like one instead of affiliating herself with certain alias of the herd. That was why people opened up, she encouraged being real, she made people dis comfortable first, but then comfortable with themselves later, that created a bond. She never forgot to show gratitude, she was loyal and worst, she was courageous to grow a spine everywhere, every time life threw a punch at her. But world was may be too real to believe in, her renewed strength turned into pain, unbearable and shattering once again. She was not a dark person, but life was dark to her. People she loves, always left her and disappeared one way or the other. She just wanted someone to make her laugh. Stop saying bullshit that you don’t need anyone to make you laugh, you alone are enough. Yes, she alone was enough to survive and sometimes happy, but having someone to share it with, who could have her back, being able to love someone takes shit load of strength and courage, to believe to share a future, which might sound melodramatic, but man she laughed without pain because of this guy many times. Now she is afraid if she could ever laugh again. I don’t think she does anymore. She gave up. She realized, she is probably cursed and would never be happy, would always see the loss and renewal of the world but she would always be alone. The only thing she could probably do is live authentically and help those who are not enabled like her. Because there might be many little girls, but not all would have the belief of beauty or the privilege of being self sufficient when they are in their own ice age and Mesozoic era. As she thought before, she is broken beyond repair, beyond any save. She is exhausted and she is done to an extent that a cry for attention by ending, on her birthday would eventually turn into a blame game, worse would not actually gain any attention for a second, even though many people would meaningfully shed a tear for her, because she is an inspiring, bold, emotional and brilliant badass woman. She is now a woman standing at the edge of a dessert still growing a spine to see the sun rise beyond the horizon on the other end, all alone, without hope and without love because she still has a leash that only lets her be in the dark fearing to explore beyond what eyes could make her see, trying to keep her mind in its right size, fighting every breathe, because she is universally disappointed and unloved.

[pearly-mvthafvckin-shen-blog]

Experience as a Stepping Stone

By: Athena Krista Tolentino

*Kriiingg kriiiiinnnggggg*

“Ugh! What an annoying sound!” Lavinia said while stretching her hands looking for her alarm clock. When she finally found it… “OH MY GOD! Mom! I’m already late!” she shouted as she ran fast towards her mother.

Lavinia: Mom, why didn’t you wake me? Look, I only have 20 minutes to prepare before going to school and I still have homework to do that I didn’t finish last night. Mr. Torres gives us tons of works.

Mother: If only you didn’t hang out with your friends last night, you would have finished your homework. Go, fix your things and prepare for your school.

And she went in their bathroom to have a bath.

Lavinia Heart is a Grade 12 Student of Far Eastern University and an honor student. She’s well known as a hardworking and very responsible student which admired by all her teachers. Despite of being an honor student, she also has a lot of friends.

As days passed by, there were more and more requirements given to the class of Lavinia by different teachers from different subjects. She then started to get stressed with all the performance tasks to be submitted all at once.

Not knowing what to do, her friend Annie approached her and said “What’s the matter? Chill. There’s still time for us to finish the work. Come, Join us. We’ll be having a party at Caitlyn’s house. It will be a blast! Please be there, for me? We’re friends, right?”

Lavinia replied “I can’t. My parents are counting on me. I need to make them proud.  We are the graduating batch, remember?”

Annie: “O, come on! Just this once?  The last party we went to last night was plain and boring. Caitlyn’s party this night? It will be so much better than the last one.”

Lavinia: But I already got late this morning because of Gary’s party last night”

Annie: “Come on, please? For me? Please come”

Lavinia: “Alright, I’ll see you later then.”

Before she goes to the party, she went home first. When she saw her mother, she said “Mom! I’ll go to Caitlyn’s house. We’ll finish our research paper because tomorrow is the deadline of it.”

“Okay. Be home at 9:00 pm. Take care, honey.” her mom said.

They then went to Caitlyn’s party to enjoy a little bit. To get rid of all the stress from school and home works they have.

Because of so much fun, she forgot her curfew. She then quickly checks her phone and she saw 50 missed calls from her mom. When she’s about to go home, Annie approached her and whispered that Lavinia’s mother called awhile back to say that it’s already passed midnight and yet she’s not home, and her mother also said that she saw Caitlyn’s post in her Instagram.

Lavinia: What did you post, Caitlyn?!!

Caitlyn: You being drunk.

The next morning, she got up late for school. She looked at the time and was shocked to see that she only has ten minutes left to be in school on time. And worse, It’s Examination Day! She tried to fix her things and went to school but failed for she was already fifteen minutes late. Gates are closed starting from 8 am to 11:30 in the morning and does not accept any students that come to school late.

Lavinia was not able to take her examinations. Her parents were also called to speak with the principal and her adviser. The principal reported to Lavinia’s parents her doings and decisions lately. And gave her a warning.

Lavinia was bombarded by her conscience so much as she reflected with her decisions lately.

She remembered what she saw in a movie once, that “What you choose in your path, you will carry it throughout your life.”

She then asked for forgiveness and made a fresh new start for her to finish her race in life on time. She also helped Annie and her friends as her study mates. They all graduated with flying colors and renewed their lives. They became stable and gave back to their families the love and support in exchange to all the sacrifices and efforts of their families as the breadwinners.

Lavinia: “Mom, Dad, all of my success is all for you. Thank you for giving me another chance. Thank you, Lord for giving me my two best friends. I entrust everything to You, Lord. Amen.”

Now that she is a successful and a registered detective, Lavinia experienced handling such odd cases and reports in her jurisdiction.

Caller 1: “Hello? Ma’am? Are you there? Please come quick! You see, our police station just got robbed, and we need an investigator right away, Ma’am. We really need your help in order for us to crack the case…”

Caller 2: “Ma’am, this is your Secretary speaking, I just got a call from line 2, she reports a burning down of a fire station in a nearby town. The City Mayor seeks your help in finding out who did this, Ma’am.

And other reports regarding the problems in her community. But despite all the pile of work that she needs to finish, she never forgets to pray before, during and after work. As she stops by a nearby Church to ask God for assistance in all the trials that come her way. She never forgets to give attention to her loved ones as she brings home doughnuts and fries as she goes home every 7 o’clock in the evening. All is well as Lavinia gives all her love and effort for the people and things she loved.

 THE END

[the-roadkill-cafe]

Throwing a Stone In a River Part 4

Summary: When Sakura graduates from the academy, she suddenly finds her head invaded by the ghost of Uchiha Shisui. Her inner is gone, but not forgotten, and she struggles with impulse control more than ever before. But also, Shisui gives a lot of unsolicited advice - useful and otherwise - and does not shut the fuck up. He’s not thrilled about current events.

Rating: T

Author’s Notes: First of all, I’d like to thank @tozettewrites for allowing me use of her prompt and for coming up with the idea. The story would not exist without her. This story would also not exist without @jaycrowind, who cheered me on and nagged me as needed in order to get the writing done, only to immediately beta it for me so it looked presentable. Thank you so, so much. Thanks also to @phoenixyfriend, who became an impromptu sounding board and whom I bombarded with many many questions. Finally, thanks to @surfacage, who was probably very surprised when a random stranger popped up in their messages asking about Shisui, but very graciously answered my questions. Thanks for helping me out, and thanks for all the artwork you do for the Naruto fandom.

Chapter Tags/Warnings: discussion of suicide, discussion of eye trauma/gouging, manipulation, hallucinations, loss of bodily autonomy

If you think I've missed a tag or that one should be added, please let me know. Thanks!

Many many thanks to @jaycrowind for beta'ing, @elenathehun, @phoenixyfriend, and @jaycrowind for their ideas and suggestions, and @beyondthemoor for her cheerleading. They're responsible for pushing me into finishing this chapter.

Previous Part: Part 3

In the end, Sakura decided to compromise with Shisui and ordered lunch at a tempura stall, gratefully consuming a full plate’s worth of fried vegetables and shrimp. She still spitefully ordered a small bowl of anmitsu for dessert though and savored every morsel. If he didn’t like being in her slow body that liked to eat anmitsu, he could get out.

‘I really, really don’t think it works like that,’ Shisui paused. ‘I don’t even know how I got stuck inside you in the first place! Trust me, there are more interesting ways to be inside someone else’s body.’

‘What?’ Sakura blinked out into space, her spoon held half way between the bowl and her mouth.

‘Oh, oh shit, you’re like, twelve, right? Pretend you didn’t hear that. I mean, it’s not like you even know what it is-‘

Sakura cut Shisui off. ‘Did you just make a sex joke?’

‘It slipped out! I swear I’m not trying to be creepy.’

Sakura let Shisui stew in silence for a few moments. It wasn’t like the joke had been about her. Still, if the only way she had to make Shisui watch his mouth was by letting him think she thought he was a creepy pervert, she’d take it.

‘I,’ Sakura began once she thought he had waited long enough, ‘am not an idiot. I do in fact know what sex is.’

‘Are you sure about the first part? Because I could’ve sworn that you forgot to check if you could cut yourself loose from some ropes,’ he replied.

‘If you don’t shut up about that I’m going to order some dango for the walk back.’

‘Fine, geez, can’t make a joke around here…’

Sakura ignored him for the sake of her own sanity. All she wanted to do was enjoy her anmitsu in peace and maybe drink a gallon of water. She definitely didn’t want to spend her lunch bickering with a ghostly voice inside her head. If he even was a ghost, which she still wasn’t entirely convinced of.

The rest of her lunch would’ve passed without incident, except that after Sakura had paid her bill, she decided to use the bathroom. As she locked the stall behind her, it didn’t take her long to realize her conundrum.

‘Can…can you actually see what I see?’ Sakura asked, facing the stall door awkwardly.

Luckily for her dignity, Shisui seemed to recognize the problem immediately. ‘I…yeah. As long as your body can perceive it, I can too.’

Sakura fingered with the zipper to her dress as her face gradually grew warm. It shouldn’t be that difficult to use the bathroom with her eyes shut, right…?

‘I’ve definitely seen worse things in my life than a girl using the bathroom.’ Shisui said dryly.

‘That’s not the point! How am I supposed to use the bathroom with a boy in my head?!’ Sakura wailed. She fought the temptation to stomp her foot.

‘Well first you sit down on the toilet seat,’ Shisui began with a snide voice.

‘If you weren’t already dead I’d kill you myself,’ snapped Sakura. She glanced quickly around the stall and then determinedly shut her eyes.

‘Ooh, yes, I’m so terrified of a twelve year old genin.’

Sakura managed not to screech like a tea kettle, but it was a close thing. Instead she pulled on the zipper to her dress.

‘Should I hum or something?’

‘Be quiet, I’m busy trying to pretend you don’t exist.’

Several awkward minutes later, Sakura left the bathroom. She knew her face had to be clashing horribly with her hair but she couldn’t bring herself to calm down. That was the worst experience ever.

‘Let’s just…pretend this never happened,’ Shisui said.

Well at least they finally agreed on something for once. Then again, Sakura supposed it had to be equally uncomfortable for Shisui to be in a girl’s body, and one several years younger than him apparently, as it was for her to have a boy in her head.

Having plenty of time left before Kakashi expected her back at the training grounds, Sakura ambled back. At this point the double layered vision she had walking through the village was no longer surprising. Given the apparently supernatural nature of Shisui’s possession of her, Sakura supposed this might be her new normal.

‘Is what I’m seeing…your memories?’

‘I think so. It’s reasonable; you’re already getting some kind of bleed over from me,’ replied Shisui.

Sakura observed the faded, ghostly images with renewed interest. Depending on when Shisui died and how much older than her he was, she could gain a new insight on what the village looked like before disasters like the Kyuubi. As that thought came to mind, Sakura flicked her eyes to the horizon again, hoping to catch another glimpse of the dreaded bijuu. It wasn’t like she’d get another chance to see the now dead Kyuubi, and without fear of danger at that. Unfortunately for Sakura, the terrifying mirage did not appear.

For a moment Sakura was tempted to ask Shisui about the Kyuubi or even the Third Shinobi War, but just as the intent began to coalesce into actual words in her mind, an image of her parents, waking up exhausted from the nightmares they still had over a decade later surfaced. She grimaced. Shisui probably wanted to answer those kinds of questions just as much as her parents wanted to, which was to say, not at all.

Instead she asked, ‘So if you weren’t a desk chuunin but a jounin, what were your specializations? How were you usually deployed?’

‘My specializations changed based on who you talked to,’ Shisui said with a chuckle. ‘If I were to describe it…hmm, probably a kenjutsu user supplemented by mid-range ninjutsu and genjutsu. I was a burst melee front line shinobi, usually deployed for either assassinations or sabotage, though sometimes I also accompanied intelligence gathering missions as well, either as a specialist or as the muscle.’

If he had been a burst melee shinobi, it was no wonder he emphasized speed so much. Burst melee shinobi were unlike sustained melee shinobi in that, despite their strong offense, they couldn’t keep it up for extended periods of time. Whatever they chose to specialize in, all burst melee shinobi dispatched their enemies as quickly as possible. Depending on the squad, they either acted as a secondary offensive force to sustained melee shinobi, or they remained behind with medical squads and other support shinobi.

‘But why would other people not describe your specializations the same way?’

Shisui hummed thoughtfully. ‘Based on certain abilities I had, there were assumptions people made about what I was and wasn’t capable of doing, and how I preferred to fight. Other people had a tendency to think I focused more on either ninjutsu or genjutsu. I was no slouch, of course, but I knew others who were true masters in those areas. I’m much more generalized by comparison.’

Sakura frowned as she continued to make her way to the training grounds. The topic inadvertently turned Sakura’s thoughts away from asking Shisui more questions and towards her own team. Her quick mind glossed over what she knew of Kakashi, which was more than she thought. Yesterday she only knew that he was a weird shinobi that, despite all appearances, was definitely a part of the elite. Now she knew he was a former ANBU member and in spite of his smaller reserves of chakra, was considered a sustained melee shinobi that specialized in ninjutsu.

It was too soon for Sakura to tell what Naruto was going to choose to specialize in, but based on his stamina alone he would also be meant for ongoing combat. Sasuke at this point could choose to either be a solid all around mid to close range fighter, or focus on improving his ninjutsu, of which she knew he did the best in amongst their class. Which just left her. Sakura clenched her fists.

If nothing else, today highlighted that Sakura didn’t have much of anything that was useable in the field. She was the least physically capable of her team, not just in speed and strength but also in taijutsu; she had no ninjutsu whatsoever; genjutsu was a mystery…Sakura was becoming mortified to realize that the only thing she was good at was memorizing things and battle strategy and tactics. She was a paper ninja.

‘I’m…a terrible shinobi…’

‘Yeah,’ Shisui replied. ‘But a lot of genin are. That’s what training and your jounin instructor is for. Not everyone gets to start out as a talented genius.’

‘But where do I even start? I need to fix everything,’ Sakura said.

‘Well, you start with physical conditioning.’ Shisui paused. ‘Like getting faster.’

Sakura huffed out loud. ‘Ugh, how did I know you were going to say that?’

‘A strong body is the foundation to being a strong shinobi.’

She sulkily seated herself at the base of a tree in the wide training grounds Team 7 had trained in earlier. Naruto and Sasuke weren’t back yet, and if Kakashi was, she couldn’t sense him. Now that she had eaten and rested for awhile, she felt significantly better, though her legs still felt a little like jelly. It was as good a time as any to work through what direction she wanted to take her shinobi career. She flicked her thumbs back and forth while she thought.

As much as Shisui’s suggestion rankled, it was probably the best solution for now. Sakura didn’t have any idea what she wanted to be, as a shinobi. There was more to it than just taking missions and completing the objective. There were all the administrative shinobi, usually semi-retired or with career ending injuries, peppered with able-bodied shinobi to help defend the village in case of an attack. There was the medical corps, where she would have her choice of becoming a hospital medical ninja or a combat medical ninja. ANBU, the Academy, Intelligence, Research and Development…there were plenty of places for shinobi other than on the front lines.

‘It might help if you remember why you want to be a shinobi in the first place,’ said Shisui.

Sakura scowled at the air. ‘Can you not listen to my thoughts for five minutes? And why can you hear mine but I can’t hear yours anyway?’

‘Probably something to do with the Yin chakra. It’s the chakra of mental and spiritual energy. I’m not really an expert on it, like some fuinjutsu specialists, or the Yamanaka or Nara,’ Shisui answered. ‘I don’t exactly go looking through your memories or your thoughts, you know. They just appear. Especially your thoughts. Try meditating or something, maybe that will fix it.’

She dropped her head back against the tree. Physical training, meditation, none of that mattered if she didn’t also pick up a few jutsu along the way. Both of her parents had earth nature chakra, so she probably did too. Doton jutsu were good. They were mostly defensive, which would complement the offensive nature of her teammates. She should learn a few genjutsu too. She didn’t know if her parents knew much in the way of genjutsu, but they’d probably teach her some Doton ninjutsu if she asked and proved she was taking her shinobi training seriously.

But before she could follow that train of thought, she heard the faint sounds of bickering. It was soon followed by Naruto and Sasuke walking down the path. Sakura felt her brows rise. Did they actually eat together, or had they met each other on the way back? Either scenario was surprising. The fact that they were arguing was at least familiar to her.

Naruto waved when he saw her. “Oi! Sakura-chan! Are you ready for the mission?”

‘Mission?’ Sakura blinked. She reviewed the events before lunch and realized she didn’t actually know why Kakashi had asked them to return after lunch. At the time, Shisui had been criticizing her performance during training.

Naruto didn’t seem to notice her confusion. “Heh, this will be so easy. We won’t even need Sasuke. Between you and me, we’ll have this done in no time!”

“All you two would do is slow me down anyway. I’m better off doing it alone,” Sasuke said.

Sakura ignored her two teammates. She was sure at some point it’d get hammered into their skulls that they needed to work together as a team; no need for her to remind them.

‘I wonder what kind of mission we’re going to have.’

‘Something boring and awful. All missions for genin are terrible, it’s a fact of life,’ Shisui answered.

‘Oh yeah? What are they like?’ Sakura asked Shisui.

He made a non-committal noise. ‘Oh, you know, body retrieval, trap and bomb dismantling, chasing cats, that sort of thing. Just stuff that’s a pain in the ass but needs to be done.’

‘One of those things is not like the other, Shisui,’ Sakura said dryly. ‘You’re just messing with me, right? We’re not even in the middle of a war, there are no bodies to get from anywhere. Besides, Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t send three green genin out into an active battle zone, right? Shisui? Hey, I’m talking to y—’

Her internal tirade was cut off by Kakashi’s sudden appearance. Thankfully, he had foregone the chakra smoke this time. “Well, I see we all managed to get here on time. Hopefully you’ve had a full lunch, because we have quite the mission today. I made sure to get an extra special one, for our first time as a team.”

The three of them crowded a little closer to Kakashi. Naruto and Sasuke seemed excited, Naruto moreso than Sasuke, but Sakura found she couldn’t be with Shisui’s answer still weighing on her mind. She kept going over what she knew about various kinds of traps and how to properly disarm them, along with proper storage techniques for corpses.

Kakashi held up a scroll. “Today...” he paused dramatically, “we have been asked to finish roofing someone’s house.”

There was a beat of silence as they processed his words. Then almost as one their shoulders slumped, though Sakura’s did for reasons different than her teammates’.

“What? That’s crap!” Naruto shouted. “We should be doing something like defeating a corrupt daimyou and his army of samurai, or rescuing a princess! Not roofing someone’s house!”

Sasuke didn’t say anything but his expression clearly communicated his disgruntlement.

For her part, Sakura was relieved. Roofing sounded a little disappointing and not at all what she had been expecting but it was a better option than what Shisui had said.

‘I knew you were just joking,’ Sakura told Shisui.

‘You say that now,’ he replied.

“Maa, well, everyone needs to do their part, and sometimes your part is helping to repair someone’s house,” Kakashi replied. “A local construction crew has a few members out sick or otherwise unavailable, and they need more people to finish a client’s house. That’s where you three come in.”

“This is really a mission that genin take?” Sasuke asked dubiously. His brow furrowed as he crossed his arms. As Sakura glanced at him, an image of a small, slightly chubby, sulky Sasuke superimposed itself over her teammate. Her lips twitched and she felt a sudden swell of affection and nostalgia. She had the vague impression that he had hardly changed at all.

“It’s not just a mission genin take – it’s the mission you’re all going to complete.” Kakashi’s mask shifted as he smiled. She didn’t trust it for one second. There had to be a catch.

Fifteen minutes later, and Sakura found out that the catch was that the construction crew wasn’t just missing a few people – everyone but the manager had skipped out of work for the last few days and Team 7 had to do the majority of the work and have it finished by the following day. The house in question was a typical home of Konoha, with one flat section of roof for shinobi to run across and the rest gently sloping towards the ground for rain runoff. They learned this in between the manager’s profuse apologies and angry side comments about his unreliable crew.

“I’m sorry for such short notice, shinobi-san,” the craggy-faced manager said. “You just can’t trust those lazy Wave bastards that have been flocking here lately. My apologies for the language, sweetheart.” The last bit he directed at Sakura.

“It’s no trouble at all, Iwase-san. My team is ready for the work; they’ll have it finished in no time,” Kakashi reassured the man.

He bowed in response. “You shinobi are a bit pricey, but I hear great things about you lot. Finish it up today, and you’ll be getting my crews’ paychecks.”

“We’ll be sure to do an excellent job. You heard Iwase-san, kids. Get to work,” Kakashi said.

The three of them began to fasten the tool kits that were scattered around and nimbly climb up the ladders to the roof of the house. Just as Sakura was nearly at the top, she heard Iwase-san talking to Kakashi.

“Are you sure that little miss should be up there?”

Kakashi, however, had already pulled out his book and was reading it without a care in the world. “Hm?”

“I mean, shouldn’t she be doing more delicate work? Like bringing the boys some refreshments?”

On the roof, as Sakura pulled off sections of old tile, she felt her blood boil. She had gone  through the same exact training as Sasuke and Naruto at the Academy, and had passed the same test. She was as much of a shinobi as they were. As she pulled up a particularly stubborn piece of tile, she imagined it was Iwase’s face.

‘I’ll show him delicate work!’ Sakura scowled down at the roof.

‘Easy now. You can’t actually kill your client. Calm down and work out your frustration later; save your energy for the mission,’ said Shisui.

‘I don’t need you to tell me that!’ She snapped.

The internal exchange caused her to miss Kakashi’s response, if there was any, but she didn’t miss the way Naruto looked from Iwase to her.

He shuffled closer. “Oi, Sakura-chan. That roof guy is right; it’s okay if you don’t want to help us fix this stupid house. I know girls get tired faster and you’ve trained hard already today. You can just relax because I’ll have this done in no time!”

Sakura flushed with shame and embarrassment.  ‘Even Naruto thinks I can’t do this!’

She glanced at Sasuke to see his reaction. There was no way he hadn’t heard Naruto’s words. Naruto’s lowest volume was only just short of a full yell after all.

But Sasuke only started working on his section of the roof, ignoring them entirely. She bit her lip. Did that mean Sasuke agreed with Naruto? Or was it that he thought she could work on her own? Sakura wilted.

‘So you’re just going to give up?’ Shisui prodded. ‘I thought you were going to prove your client wrong?’

Sakura gritted her teeth and gripped the tool kit hard between her hands. As much as she hated to admit it, Shisui was right. She was tired, true, but she hated giving up even more than she wanted to skip their ridiculous mission.

“That’s okay Naruto,” Sakura finally said, smiling a poisonously sweet smile. “If you can manage not to let your stupidity stop you from being a shinobi, I’m sure being a girl won’t keep me from finishing this mission.”

She leaned in close and dropped her smile as she grabbed his jacket. “Now if you don’t leave me alone, I’ll throw you off the roof.” Then she shoved him away from her so she could start roofing.

As she worked, her foul mood only increased. The respite given to her from lunch only lasted her so long. Before Sakura knew it, she was exhausted and her limbs were trembling with strain. It turned out roofing was really hard work. Not only that, the temperature peaked as the sun reached high overhead. There was no breeze to provide relief and Sakura refused to be the first to ask for a quick break. Sweat dripped down her face and arms, causing her to stop every few minutes to wipe it away.

Nearby, it seemed Sasuke and Naruto had similar thoughts. Both worked relentlessly, and every few tiles they pulled up, they would glance up to check the other’s progress before throwing themselves back into it at a seemingly faster pace than before. Sakura huffed to herself. Boys. She couldn’t deny that their rivalry was going to help them finish the mission faster, but they were also going to exhaust themselves. On a real mission, they’d get themselves killed.

‘Now that’s the way you should be thinking during a mission.’

‘That’s enough out of the peanut gallery.’

In short order, the three genin were collecting small stacks of new tile to nail into the roof. Their collective poor mood had only grown as Kakashi and Iwase both sat in the shade, one drinking from a canteen of undoubtedly icy water and the other reading and occasionally giggling to himself. It was with this cloud hanging over them that things finally came to an explosive head when Sasuke brushed into Naruto, causing him to slip on the roof and drop his stack of tiles.

“Hey, bastard! You did that on purpose!” Naruto shouted as his tiles clattered to the ground below.

Sakura rolled her eyes and knelt down to start hammering in the wood tiles. It was about time they started fighting; they could hardly go a few hours without it.

“Don’t blame me for your incompetence,” Sasuke snapped. “You can do that all on your own.”

Naruto stepped closer into Sasuke’s space. Sakura eyed them warily. An argument was one thing, but they weren’t actually going to have a fist fight on a roof, were they?

“You bumped into me and made me drop my tiles because I’m beating you. I’m not stupid!” he insisted.

‘That’s debatable,’ Sakura thought uncharitably.

‘No need to be so mean, Sakura.’

Shisui sounded awfully amused for someone who was telling her not to be mean to her teammates. In the background, Naruto and Sasuke continued to argue.

Sakura diligently hammered in her tiles one by one. Even though it was beginning to cool at long last, she was completely covered in sweat, making her job difficult. She cursed as the hammer slid in her slippery hand and she hit her thumb.

She sucked her thumb and hissed when she pulled it out to peer down at it. It was a bright angry red and throbbed in time with her heart beat. As she finally considered stopping for some water and to ice her finger, the voices of her teammates crescendoed.

‘Sakura, duck!’

‘What?’

Sakura looked up instinctively at Shisui’s warning. She had just enough time to take in Sasuke dodging a tile that Naruto had flung at him before it hit her squarely on her accursed forehead.

Sakura reeled almost drunkenly, stars bursting across her vision. She tipped backwards and began to slide down towards the edge of the roof. Only some reflexive instinct had her flailing and grasping at the roof until her balance recovered enough for her to ensure she wouldn’t fall off.

There were twin surges of anger inside her and she was caught between the urge to clutch her head and do something about her teammates. A barely coherent impression of ‘those damn brats!’ and the burning desire to hurt them decided it for her and before she knew what she was doing, Sakura grabbed one of her own tiles and threw it with unerring accuracy at Naruto. He yelped when it connected with his chest and the force of it knocked him on his behind. A nasty part of her wished he had fallen off the roof.

In her head, Shisui was a fuzzy, static ball of irritation that made her aching head feel that much worse, which was compounded by her still throbbing thumb. Her other hand twitched with a need to punch her teammates that was not entirely her own.

“You moron!” Sakura’s voice was ragged as she struggled not to scream. “You hit me in the head!”

Naruto staggered to his feet. “H-hey, Sakura-chan, it was just an accident, I didn’t mean to—”

Sakura cut him off. “What did I tell you about leaving me alone?” She too climbed to her feet and started stalking towards Naruto.

Down below, Iwase was watching the exchange warily.

“Hey, shinobi-san, I think you need to do something about your kids. That little miss looks like she’s ready to murder someone,” he said.

Kakashi hummed a bit, unconcerned. “I’m sure they’ll sort it out. These sorts of things happen all the time with new teams.”

Back on the roof, Sakura seized Naruto’s ear. She twisted it roughly as she pulled him towards the edge of the roof, her temper lending her strength.

“No, Sakura-chan, don’t throw me off the roof!” Naruto squealed, his voice breaking on the high pitch.

“Too bad!” She snarled.

As she strode towards the edge, her foot kicked Sasuke’s tiles.

“Hey!” Sasuke jerked as his tiles went tumbling down the roof to the ground below.

‘This is going to be such a disaster.’

‘Shut up, I’ve had it with everyone!’

“Don’t get me caught up in your stupidity,” Sasuke continued.

Sakura stopped. “This wouldn’t have happened if you two weren’t so stupid.” She insisted. She tightened her grip as Naruto tried to squirm out of her hold.

“Don’t blame me because you’re too slow to dodge a brick.” Sasuke’s hands clenched and unclenched reflexively. He didn’t seem to know if it was appropriate to grab her the way he would Naruto. Or maybe he was just trying to keep himself from shaking her. Sakura bared her teeth. The way she was feeling, she wished he would. She would throw him off the roof too.

And then his words registered. For a moment, all seemed to go silent. And then she heard Shisui snicker in her head.

“I’m not slow!” she roared.

She lunged towards Sasuke with her free hand. She should’ve known better; he was far more agile than she, and dodged her easily. What he failed to account for was the slant of the roof. As he tilted backwards dangerously, his arms began to pinwheel. At the sight, Sakura momentarily forgot her anger.

“Sasuke-kun!”

His hand grabbed her shirt. The three of them only had a split second to stare and realize the coming consequences before Sasuke’s weight pulled them all over the edge of the roof.

The three of them lay tangled together, wheezing and groaning in a pile of limbs. Sakura had been lucky; she landed across Naruto and Sasuke, both of whom had taken the brunt of the fall, along with her weight.

“I think you ripped my ear off,” Naruto whimpered.

“You deserve it, moron,” Sasuke snapped back.

Sakura kicked her foot without seeing who she was aiming at. “Both of you, shut up.”

‘I told you this was going to be a disaster.’

‘You can shut up too.’

A shadow fell over them. Sakura looked up to see Kakashi staring down at them. “Now what have we all learned today?” he asked them brightly.

The three of them stared at Kakashi, all simmering with resentment and loathing.

“If you don’t learn to work together as a team,” Kakashi said, “you’re going to fall off a roof.”

Sakura rolled off Naruto and Sasuke and left them to figure out how to untangle themselves. She had a roof to finish and she planned on going home sometime today.  Sasuke and Naruto soon followed her, and they resumed their work in stony silence.

By the time they finished, lunch was little more than a daydream and Sakura’s stomach was a gnawing pit of hunger, desperate for dinner. But the house was completely roofed and their client was pleased. Sakura might have felt more of a sense of accomplishment when she was handed her cut of the mission pay if her body weren’t aching everywhere.

Kakashi clapped his hands with faux cheer as he considered them all. “This has been such an illuminating day, hasn’t it? I think we’ve all learned a lot.”

‘I learned a lot about how much I want to punt my teammates all the way across the continent,’ Sakura grumped to herself.

“You’ve all worked very hard today and I look forward to seeing the same effort tomorrow,” Kakashi said, his solitary eye crinkling. In it, Sakura swore she saw the depths of hell. “So I will see you tomorrow at six am sharp.”

He reached out to ruffle hers and Naruto’s hair. As his hand reached towards her, panic suddenly spiked in her throat. She saw an image of someone else’s fingers moving towards her, grasping at her eye. Or was it her own hand? Blood was dripping down her face and she could hear water and she couldn’t stop the hand she was going to lose her eye no no no no

Sakura broke out of her paralysis and slapped away Kakashi’s hand. It hovered in the air for a moment and she could clearly sense his surprise. And then he let it fall away and acted as if she hadn’t done anything at all.

“Bye now.” With a wave, Kakashi disappeared.

Naruto and Sasuke were staring at her. She swallowed hard underneath their scrutiny. “It’s just been such a long day, and I didn’t want him messing up my hair,” she laughed weakly, trying to play off her sudden panic.

“Your hair is already a mess from sweating all day,” Sasuke pointed out bluntly.

“Well it’s not like I know where his hands have been or anything!” Sakura said as she grasped for excuses. “So, I have to get home now. See you tomorrow, Sasuke-kun! And you too, Naruto,” she added as an afterthought. With that, she dashed off into the darkening night.

Her jelly legs and bone deep exhaustion made the trip home longer than usual, but when Sakura came home, the house was filled with the smell of dinner. Her mouth watered in response.

Shisui chanted an unending litany of ‘food food food’ as the smell registered for him as well. She rolled her eyes. He was awfully concerned about food for a guy who was dead.

‘It tastes good,’ he said defensively. ‘I don’t need to be alive to appreciate the finer things in life.’

‘You are going to be murder on my weight loss plan,’ Sakura said.

Thankfully for her sanity, Shisui quieted down again when she sat down for dinner. She was able to make it through the meal and some conversation with her parents peacefully, and in fact she was almost able to forget that there was a ghost in her head. Instead, she got to be a normal twelve year old, complaining to her parents about her awful team and her weird jounin instructor.

After dinner, Sakura trudged upstairs for the bath. One of her parents had already drawn it earlier, so all Sakura had to do was wash herself off before she could relax in its soothing warmth.

Of course, once she was in the bathroom, she found herself facing the same dilemma as she had earlier that day, but even worse.

‘How am I supposed to take a bath with you in my head?’

‘Try closing your eyes again?’ Shisui suggested. Sakura groaned into her hands.

‘I can’t just close my eyes the entire time I take a bath.’ Sakura dropped her head against the wall.

‘Well, you can either get over it and take a bath, or just never take one ever again and reek for the rest of your life,’ he said.

Sakura shifted in place. It wasn’t that different from public bathhouses. There were some that didn’t separate by gender, even in Konoha. And she really wanted to soak before she went to bed.

‘Fine. But don’t you dare make fun of what I look like, or I’ll eat anmitsu for the rest of this week.’

Sakura stripped off her clothes and Shisui remained blissfully quiet. She paused while she folded her clothes, feeling suspicious of his obliging silence, but nothing was forthcoming. A few seconds later she was seated on the low stool and scrubbing away the day’s grime and sweat. Underneath the warm spray, her muscles loosened gratefully.

Once she was properly washed off, Sakura climbed into the deep bath tub and let herself relax and start to contemplate the day’s events. She stared unseeing at the pale islands that were her knees. Water dripped down her back from her pinned hair. The combination of water and her lowered guard resulted in a deluge of thoughts that weren’t her own.

-the clan never had a chance to begin with, he had been working against them the entire time-

-his hand ripped out his eye while he used the other one to brutally beat his body-

-he wasn’t one of the prized shinobi of the clan for nothing, and he needed to get away to warn him-

-no one could have his other eye, it was too dangerous-

Suddenly the impressions seemed to jerk inside her head and then Shisui’s presence seemed to expand in her head.

‘What did you just see?’ his voice was dark and heavy with intent. Sakura pulled her legs close as she processed the mental images. She had known all along, hadn’t she, that someone had hurt Shisui very badly before he died.

‘I said, what did you see? Tell me now Sakura,’ he demanded.

Sakura ignored his words. ‘Who…,’ she swallowed. ‘Who ripped out your eye, Shisui?’

His mental presence seemed to break in an odd way that Sakura instinctively associated with shock. It solidified again and this time was a nearly impenetrable wall that hid thoughts behind it which Sakura could not discern.

When he spoke again, his voice was hard and even, and for the first time she really believed he was a jounin. ‘What makes you think someone took my eye?’

‘I saw it,’ she answered in a small voice. ‘And then… and then you gave the ANBU boy your other eye. You…’ She furrowed her brow as she recalled her nightmare.

‘You told him he was your best friend and that you were giving it to him for safe keeping.’ Sakura’s voice became shrill as her horror mounted. ‘You gave him your eye! And then you jumped into the Naka River! I saw it!’

‘You saw how I died?’ Shisui pressed.

‘It was a little confusing; I had a nightmare about it, it was so awful, I couldn’t move at all except to pull my left eye out and give it to the boy. But I didn’t see very well what happened before then.’ Sakura hesitated a little. Shisui sounded slightly calmer. It was no wonder that his death was a sensitive topic. ‘Shisui… would you like to talk about it? Is that why you came back? To get revenge on the person who took your eye?’

Shisui’s presence remained impassive for a long time, so long in fact, that Sakura thought that maybe he hadn’t heard her or had fallen asleep. And then she felt him sort of shudder, or maybe ripple, and then she felt grief begin to emanate from him as his mental presence shrank in on itself.

‘I… forgive me, Sakura, I just can’t talk about it. It’s too difficult. Please, let it alone.’

‘Oh.’ There was a part of Sakura that wanted to keep pushing. What about the ANBU boy with Shisui’s other eye? Why did Shisui feel the need to commit suicide? And surely he would want to confront the person responsible for hurting him in the first place? Then again, the only way Shisui could do that was through her, and if this person could maim a jounin and escape, then killing her would be too easy.

Shisui’s plea struck a chord in her. It was clear his death was too new and he hadn’t come to grips with it. It probably bothered him that she was reliving it. It seemed like it was a private, intimate thing, and here was Sakura, watching it and picking at the scabs with hardly a care at all for how Shisui might feel about it.

‘I’m sorry,’ she offered lamely.

‘It’s fine. How about you just go to sleep now. You have to wake up early tomorrow, after all.’ With Sakura’s acquiescence to Shisui’s request, his voice became normal again and no longer the oppressive thing it was before.

Sakura made a noise of agreement. She climbed out of the tub and proceeded to finish her nightly routine.

Eventually she made it into her bed, collapsing into it with a grateful sigh. She could only imagine what kind of awful training and missions would be in store for her tomorrow. And that was before Naruto did something stupid to make things worse or Shisui started in on his nagging comments. She curled up beneath her covers and closed her eyes. But for now, sleep.

Not long afterward, the nightmares started.

[ayyoitsalex]

Chapter 4 - Calling All Collins

-Saturday- The kids and I were up early this morning on account of a special occasion. It's Sam's birthday, so we're taking the weekend to celebrate her. First thing was making Sam's favorite breakfast of chocolate chip waffles with whipped cream. We made everything by hand, and we were serving it to her in bed. The boys also made a card which they both signed, and had Charly put her hand print on. I plated up the food and we all crept upstairs slowly. The boys giggled excitedly walking with the tray of food while I followed behind with Charly. They set the tray on the nightstand next to Sam before standing next to me. I mouthed "1-2-3!" and we all shouted. "Happy birthday mommy!" Sam shot out of bed eyes popping out of her skull. She took a minute to catch her breath before AJ and Cole piled into bed to hug her. "For me!? C'mere my boys!" Sam laughed cuddling the kids. "We made you breakfast mama." Cole smiled proudly pointing. "My favorites. You guys.." She set up the tray in front of her while we all sat up on the bed together taking bites from her. "What about my sweet Charly girl does she want some?" Charly crawled over from the foot of the bed to take a bite. "Mm did mama and brothers do a good job?" Charly just flashed a toothy smile before turning back around to the tv. "Happy birthday love." We shared a small kiss before I smeared a bit of whipped cream on Sam's nose per my family's tradition. She looked at me none too amused but eventually laughed as I kissed it off. -DING DONG- I looked at Sam to see if she knew who would be here this early, but she gave the same look in return. I set Charly next to Sam to investigate downstairs to who was at the door especially so early. When I opened it up I couldn't believe my eyes. "Where is she?" I couldn't even speak I just screamed. Sam bolted up with Charly and the boys to see the commotion. "KAYLA!" Sam shouted running downstairs with Charly. We all hugged while the boys looked at us like we were nuts. "It's been like years!" "I had some time, and your birthday seemed as good an occasion as any to finally stop by and see you guys other than on facetime." "Boys c'mere." They walked over slowly. "This is one of mommy and I's best friends in the world. This is your auntie Kayla." She smiled sweetly at them while they both waved awkwardly in return. "Oh! Honey come on in." Sam and I were both excited for this too, since we'd never met Kayla's daughter in person. She was a spitting image of Kayla and her mom. "This is Kara." She smiled at us waving. She was a little older than Cole, and  in my head I just wanted them to grow up to be best friends. "Hi I'm Kara!" She said extending her hand to Cole. "I'm..Cole." He answered slowly before shaking her hand. "Hey sweetie, why don't you and AJ show Kara the hoop out back to play a little." Kara's eyes lit up as soon as I said hoop. Most definitely Kayla's kid. She couldn't get out there fast enough and before we knew it the kids were laughings and playing. Both Sam and I sat down with Kayla while I held Charly. "So what brings you home?" I asked pouring Kayla a coffee. "Well my overseas season ended and my contract in Seattle wasn't renewed. Just trying to find something to do until someone calls again." "Aw Kay I'm sorry about the Storm." Sam said. "It's okay, I got to be a part of a championship season finally." She showed us her ring and we were both in awe. "Apart from ours that is." "Kara is like an exact copy of you and your mom." Sam said. "Thank god. I'd be kicking myself if she looked like her dad..though I'd still love her regardless." "Things still rough I take it?" I asked pouring everyone a fresh cup of coffee. Kayla nodded hard looking annoyed just thinking about it. "Well atleast you have full custody." "Not like the court had a choice. I'm the only one with a job and a place to live." "So when you're in season overseas where does Kara stay?" "Well we have our place in Seattle and for the most part my overseas seasons are in the summer time. So when I have to leave my sister comes up and stays with her or my parents for the summer. Or I let her go down here to spend the summer. What about you guys? Must have your hands full with three!" "We get by with a lot of help." I laughed. "Yeah both our parents love picking up the kids and letting them stay in the afternoon, and we have no shortage of babysitters to call on." "Right I mean all of your brothers, and Selena's got her siblings. Do either of the boys play ball yet?" Sam and I both shook our heads slightly disappointed. "Mm well maybe later down the line." We both crossed our fingers. "Hey if anything maybe little missy here will play for mommy." Kayla's definitely come a long way with kids from when we first met. Charly reached out for Kayla and she didn't hesitate to hold her. "Well hello! Aren't you sweet. We haven't met before, but your mommies keep sending me pictures." "Augh! My heart just melts looking at them." Sam cuddled close to me. Kayla smirked shaking her head. The kids came back inside catching their breath and sitting down in the living room. "What game over already?" Sam laughed. They all nodded still trying to catch their breath. "Oh! I almost forgot about your present." "Kay you didn't have to get me anything!" "I did so! You two are my best friends, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn't bring gifts for your birthdays." Sam and I looked at one another before shrugging our shoulders in agreement. Kayla handed Sam a bag, to which Sam proceeded to throw around the paper like an animal. Her eyes lit up when she pulled out a frame with her high school jersey and a picture of all of us on our championship night. The boys and Kara gathered around us to look at the photo. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but there we were holding the trophy. "What's on your knee there mama?" AJ asked me. "Mm mommy hurt her knee in the game before this one, and didn't get to play in that game." "Good thing I was there to save the day." Sam laughed hugging me. I rolled my eyes. "Ahem excuse me I was also playing in that game." Kayla leered over at Sam. "So you and mommy were friends even a long time ago huh." AJ said. "A long time ago! Excuse you Adam Justin Ryan, mommy and I aren't that old!" Everyone laughed as Sam huffed.   "Where's that trophy now?" Cole asked. "It's in the gym at school where I coach sweetie. It's in the case next to grandpa's trophy he won when he went to school  there. Maybe someday one of you guys will win one there. Or like auntie Kayla said earlier maybe even Charly girl." Charly flashed a smile at the sound of her name.   Kayla eventually departed to see her family, and we had our own set of people to see for Sam's birthday. All of Sam's brothers were in town for dinner, which meant a rowdy house. Sam and I were just glad it wasn't our house. To be honest I had to have Sam give me a crash course on just exactly who was who since it'd been so long since we'd seen all of her family at one time. I used to think my family was big, but Sam and her brothers take the prize. Five brothers, five sister-in-laws, over ten nephews, and three nieces. If anything I just implore my technique of not using names when talking with someone that remembers me and fake my way through. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Sam's parents house practically erupted from everyone jumping out at us walking through the door. Before we knew it we were getting hugs and kisses left and right from the entire family, and I could tell it was a bit much for the boys. All of Sam's brothers were watching a game in the livng room. "Sammy!" They all rushed her and dog piled on top of her. She managed to squeeze her way out as they turned their attention to me and the boys. A giant group hug enveloped us. I braced myself. "Agh hi guys." I gasped for breath. "Say hi to your uncles boys." I nudged them forward. "Hi uncle, Carson, Scott, Ben, Ronnie, and Darren." Both AJ and Cole made their way over to their cousins in the other room all surrounding a TV and some kind of game system. Sam and I made our way to the rest of the adults to continue our greetings. We all caught up with one another asking the typical questions like how things are going, how's work, etc. A tap on my shoulder and Carson was behind me holding two drinks for Sam and I. We hugged, greeting one another. "So how're the boys? Sam sends me updates every once in a while, but I hate not being so close." "They're good, though we did have an issue like last week. Nothing that couldn't be resolved the old fashioned way. Y'know talking it out, bein-" "You or Sam punched someone didn't you." Carson smirked. "Okay maybe." He shook his head laughing.  I'm closer to Carson more so than any of Sam's brothers cause...y'know he was my last straight relationship . Though you might think that makes things weird, but Carson is happy in his own life with his wife and we're both happy for one another. Carson's wife came over with their little one. "Hey Selena! Oh my god look at Charly lil cutie." Charly flashed a modest grin like yes tell me how cute I am. Carson's kid was just a few months younger than Charly, but by weight you couldn't tell. This was a thicc boi with two c's. We did a typical baby exchange. Avery looked relieved at how light Charly seemed in comparision. "Honey! C'mere check out baby Tommy." Sam's eyes grew big at the sight of the chubby cheeked baby. "Holy fuck lemme see this chonky boy. Yep this ones definitely a Collins alright" It'd been a while since we'd seen Tommy, and when we did he was still newborn. I handed Tommy over to Sam. She started hugging up on him, which didn't please Charly too much who started whining at the sight. Carson, his wife Avery, and myself couldn't help but laugh. "Aw sweetie c'mere it's okay." Carson passed her over to me. She buried her face into my shoulder out of jealousy. "Mommys just giving your cousin some hugs." Charly was having none of it, and just clung onto me for dear life. When it came time for the cake Sam sat alone at the table while we all gathered around to sing. Both the boys stood next to her and we all finished the song clapping as she blew out the candles. As pieces of cake were being handed out to the kids and wives, none of Sam's brothers were to be found. While talking with another of her sisters-in-law I spotted them as they signaled me to keep quiet. I nodded slowly not really knowing what was coming. I pulled out my phone to record, trying to look as innocent a possible. They all snuck up from behind Sam and smashed a cake into her face. I couldn't help but laugh as she started to sprint after all of them. "I AM GOING TO GET ALL OF YOU FUCKERS!" Sam's voiced echoed through her parent's neighborhood. When Sam ran out of gas the boys walked back into the room to see Sam brushing frosting from her face. "You guys are lucky this tastes good.." She growled taking a paper towel to her face. The brothers high-fived me as they walked by me. "Babe! The fuck!" Sam held her arms out demanding an explanation. "Well! They went SHH!" Sam just glared at me while I laughed nervously. "Oh they went SHH. Good one." "I love you?" Sam walked slowly her face still with bits of frosting. I didn't know exactly what was coming, but I just let it happen. She hugged me tight grasping both arms. and smeared her face against mine, getting every possible bit from her face onto mine and my clothes. "Yeah..I deserve this one." Sam nodded furiously. Carson took a picture and posted to his story. Sam looked at me smiling, most of the frosting moved from her face to mine.

[mrlnsfrt]

The Vasectomy

Finally, my wife and I agreed I ought to get a vasectomy. The first time I had scheduled the appointment I ended up canceling the day of. So this second time they made me pay a non-refundable $50 deposit. So we were sure, I was sure, I was going to get a vasectomy and the day after Valentine’s Day was as good as any. When I had first come to see the urologist he had given me a prescription for pain medication and for a muscle relaxant that he recommended I take before coming to the surgery. I figured I was a tough guy and would not be taking any drugs just to “take the edge off” as the doctor had suggested. Well, because I had canceled the previous time and took so long to re-schedule, I needed to have the prescription renewed. This time I went to the pharmacy and got my medications and went straight to the clinic. The urologist had told me he did vasectomies right there in his clinic, that it would be quick and I would be awake the whole time. So I arrived a few minutes early. I wanted to show I was serious and dedicated and was not backing down this time. Also, I guess I had forgotten how things are at the doctor’s office. I was scheduled for the last appointment of the day. So once I arrived at his office I had plenty of time to be nervous and wonder whether or not I should have taken the muscle relaxant, and to wonder whether this was the “edge” he wanted “taken off.” While I anxiously sat in the waiting room the news was on, and even though I had a few articles I was reading on my phone I could not help but overhear some of the news. There was a news report about a college girl who went in to have her tonsils removed and, I didn’t hear all the details but, after she came home she ended up becoming blind. There was a clip of her walking with a stick and her parents saying how when she arrived home after the surgery “everything seemed fine but then…” The tv volume was low and people were talking and I did not know what happened exactly. All I heard was this college girl went in for a minor procedure and now she was blind. Once again I wondered if I should have taken those muscle relaxants. Then there was a news report about a lady who had died because she went to a hospital in Flint, Michigan, and caught legionnaires disease, apparently from the water. Finally, when no one else was in the waiting room and I was trying to ignore those news stories as simply what news tends to be, a form of entertainment that has about as much practical connection to my life as Broadway musicals, a nurse calls me in with a smile. It was a Monday and I had heard that Mondays are good days to have surgeries because on Mondays the doctors are fresh and well-rested. But it was already close to 5:00 PM and I was wishing we had scheduled it first thing in the morning and I, once again, wondered if this was the “edge” the muscle relaxant was supposed to have “taken off” if I had popped that pill before heading to the doctor’s office. The nurse took me to a room that had an odd bed that I presumed to be the operating table. She asked me if I had brought the medication as they had requested and I handed her the bag. She took out the muscle relaxant and gave me two pills, which turned out to be the entire contents of the bottle. She also gave me one pill for the pain. She pointed to the table, told me to undress from the waist down except for socks, and cover myself with a large square of paper. She left the room. I waited a bit, feeling awkward, and then checked the pill bottles to see what she had given me. The bottles had long names on them and reading them did not give me any clues about what I had just taken. I undressed, as asked, and laid down on the table. (I now know what I took because my wife read the bottles and told me) The table was narrow and had little room for my arms. My legs rested on separate leg resting things? I’m not sure what they were but the table ended about where my behind was and there were these two flat parts that, I guess, could move. The part that held my left leg was doing a great job at holding my leg, the one that held my right leg had a bit of a give and with the weight of my leg, it would dip a bit. At first, it didn’t bother me, but as time went by, and it felt like an eternity, I almost got up to try to fix the table, but given my current state of undress I preferred not to move. That paper felt like it was about to blow away at any moment. Also, I felt a breeze, something I had not noticed while I still had pants on. As I waited for the doctor and wondered about what pills I had taken and what affect they would have on me, I began to fear I would forget to ask him a list of questions that my wife, a registered nurse, had told me to make sure to ask. According to my wife, I’m not very good at asking questions, every time I talk to her after a doctor’s visit she has about 3,276 questions that I forgot to ask. So I rehearsed the questions on my mind and figured I should just type them on my phone, but no pants and my phone was on my pants’ pocket. So I figured I could write them on that paper blanked they had given me to cover up, but my pen was also in the pocket of my pants. I looked around myself in the room but there was nothing I could reach and use to write without getting up from my “bed.” So I waited, wondering if the medical staff had forgotten about me and left and maybe the janitor would find me and let the doctor know he had forgotten a patient lying half-naked on a table with a paper cover. The same smiling nurse came back in and I was wondering where the doctor was, I had been practicing my questions and I feared engaging her in a conversation and forgetting the questions, I also feared of not talking to her and seeming rude. She told me the doctor was on his way which was good news, as she started getting things ready she asked me about my children and we talked about raising children, which was fine with me. She was walking about and getting things ready then she came and removed my paper cover and told me she had to prep me for the surgery. Now I don’t have anything against female nurses or women, but I must admit it was a bit awkward. She was very nice and professional, but she could not relate to me at all, no words of encouragement, no “I’ve been there man, it will be fine.” I guess this is the reason you don’t have a lot of male nurses in labor and delivery, I’m no expert, I’m not even familiar with the medical field and the ins and outs of staffing, but as a human being facing a new experience, a considerably stressful and perhaps even scary experience, it would have been nice to have someone who had gone through the experience and could help put me at ease. As she walked around and wiped and moved and looked she stuck a rubber thing to my thighs with a very cold gelatinous adhesive, I didn’t know what this was or what it was for, but I did notice it had two wires coming out. I guess I could have asked her but, talking about raising children and trying to ignore the upcoming surgery seemed like a better tactic at the time. I was curious to see where the wires connected but she did not connect them to anything at the time, or it was hidden from my view. I did not want to sit up or look, I just kept staring at the ceiling and talking about raising children. Finally, she placed more papers around me and on me, and I began to wonder when the drugs were going to kick in. I am still not sure what “take off the edge” meant but I definitely did not feel at ease or relaxed. Perhaps without the muscle relaxant I would have been even more “edgy?” Finally, the doctor walked in and suddenly the questions seemed irrelevant, but I had promised my wife I would ask, so I asked him several questions, the answer to which I promptly forgot. The doctor came in and removed the covering paper, moved, felt, and pinched then took out a syringe. He told me it was to deaden the pain, and he said it would be similar to when a dentist applies anesthesia. Here is the thing though. I hate it when the dentist applies the anesthesia. I prefer when I get a shot, it’s quick. Even donating blood is less painful than when the dentist applies anesthesia, and the doctor’s description was right on. The needle goes in slowly and I definitely felt the pain. The doctor then has to massage the place so it spreads as opposed to just making a bubble in a single place. Just when the pain is fading and I am beginning to relax he tells me to let him know if anything hurts so he can add more. That was not what I wanted to hear. Couldn’t he just add enough to make sure I would not feel anything all at once? He kept massaging and I guess he pinched and asked me if I felt anything and I said “no.” However soon after that I felt a sharp “cutting” pain, he said “OK” and I braced myself for the needle, but much to my relief there was no pain, and the doctor added more anesthetic. I am so glad I did not have to get stuck a second time as I had feared and anticipated. After a little while, there was some minor pain and he once again added more anesthesia and from that point on I finally felt like I could relax a bit. I had my arms crossed over my chest and had not realized how clinched and sweaty my fists had become. I definitely don’t think those muscle relaxants did much. It was certainly an interesting experience, being awake while the doctor pokes and pulls and cuts, and sometimes sings along with the soft country music that was playing in the operating room. Country music, out of all the styles of music I have come to appreciate, country has taken the longest, I still don’t really enjoy it yet. I know random, but these were the things going through my mind, besides when would I feel pain again and have to ask the doc for more anesthesia. Finally, the doctor announced he would have to cauterize. I continued to stare straight up the whole time and said “OK.” And that is when I felt the sharpest pain yet, just before I heard the sizzle. The doc stopped and once again added more of whatever was being used to take away the pain, he mentioned the name but I don’t remember what it was. After he injected the anesthetic, I only heard the sizzle and saw the little smoke come up. At least there was no smell and no pain. A few more pokes and snips and pulls and the doctor asked me if I wanted to see it. “Sure,” I answered without taking time to think it through. So he lifted to my view what looked like a small, white, piece of cooked noodle. He announced he was about to cauterize again and I heard the sizzle once again, this time it lasted longer than all the previous times but he finally announced that he was done…

With that side. THAT SIDE!! I had assumed he had already done both sides, all that had been just one side. Out came the syringe and once again I braced myself to a very slow insertion into a very sensitive part of my body. I must admit the work on the second side was less painful, and he had to add anesthesia fewer times, and none of the cauterizations hurt. When he finished the second side he announced he was going to give me one stitch. He said it was not really necessary but could help speed up the healing process so of course, I was all for it. Then he announced he would do it on the side he first operated on, and that the anesthesia might’ve begun to wear off so I might feel a pinch. While I was asking myself why he had not just given me the stitch right when he had finished that side I felt a sting, and nothing more. It was not so bad, nowhere near as bad as the application of the anesthesia. When he stitched the other side I felt nothing at all. He then told me to stand up and get dressed. He was there with he nurse and for a brief moment, I waited to see if they would leave the room for me to get dressed, and then I remembered they had been staring at me this whole time. The nurse had gotten the jockstrap I bought for this occasion out of the bag I had brought with me. I had never seen nor worn one before this experience, and my first impression was that it looked like something you would buy at an adult store. She helped put my feet through the proper holes then I got up and the doctor stuck a bunch of gauze in there and told me I was done. As they removed the rubber thing from my thigh I asked him what it was for, and he told me it was to ground me. Ground me!? When was there any electricity involved? I asked him if it had been for the cauterizing. He said “yes,” apparently he wanted to avoid it going anywhere else. I’m not sure how, or what kinds of damage that would do, or how they came about realizing they needed to ground their patents, but I’m glad I had been grounded. I am also glad I was ignorant of that earlier, it would have been one more thing for me to be “on edge” about. Then they both left me to put my pants and shoes back on. Gingerly I walked out to meet my wife and kids who were eagerly waiting to see me.

[rjhg53ji-blog]

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