#a real person could do it for a second opinion

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi, I hope this is an okay question to ask. I am s l o w l y exploring and learning what kinds of kinks I like. I’m drawn to taboo kinks and I’m really curious about ageplay, but I’m worried that if I open the door to letting that be hot, I’m going to start seeing actual kids as hot. Obviously that doesn’t mean I would do anything about it, but I’m still not sure I want that in my head. Is there any truth in this fear? Could that happen?

well much in the same way that the majority of pup players aren't trying to hump real labradors on the street, D&D players generally aren't running around pulling swords on random shopkeepers, and my years doing Warriors Cats rp online never made me want to live in the woods pissing in the dirt and eating mice, I suspect that what you're attracted to is the safety of fantasy and play rather than the actual, literal thing. pretty big line between those two things, actually, and most people are pretty clear on the difference between stuff that's made up and harmless and stuff that's really really bad. I use this example often, but I assure you that my abiding love of Batman using his billions of dollars to dick around doing lawless bullshit has not softened my feelings on Elon Musk in the slightest.

I assume that, like most well-adjusted adults, you aren't attracted to children. what you're into is, presumably, adults acting in ways that are characterized as immature, carefree, cutesy, helpless, bratty, etc, and the dynamic of those playacting adults might have with others who take the role of their caregivers. that is... so, so, so far removed from being attracted to an actual human child. I don't know if you've ever actually, like, hung out with kids, but they're pretty different than adults. I mean obviously they're little humans who have their own opinions and ideas and personalities and have a right to autonomy and making their own decisions as much as is safely possible, but they are REALLY different from age appropriate, sexually compatible adults. someone doing ageplay is, like, a million miles from an actual kid.

it's kind of like how when Riverdale was on I'd see gifs of that insane redheaded lesbian and go "yeah, she's hot." like, sure, the character's a teenager, but that actress is an adult woman who's only two years younger than me and we all know that. the idea of fucking an actual teenager is vile. even if I were to see someone and have an initial aesthetic appreciation, the second they open their mouth and start saying 17 year old things the attraction is gone because I've realized that's a child.

(no offense to the teens in the room! you're great and I'm sure your 17 year old stuff is really important to you! but adults should not want to fuck you, is the point.)

so what I'm saying is: seems unlikely!

also, okay. let's assume the absolute worst case scenario happens and you experience a twinge of sexual interest towards a child. that's understandably alarming; that's not an urge most people want to harbor within themselves. that may require some dialing back from ageplay, or a chat with a kink-friendly mental health professional, or seeking out some community and advice from others in your kink scene who may have struggled with something similar. but please, give yourself some credit: you have some shred of impulse control within your body, yes? you're not going to make the leap from having a thought to being an active child predator in one fell swoop. the choice to harm a child, or to seek out pornographic material of child sexual abuse, are still choices that you would have to actually make. and it's making those choices to do harm that actually make child abusers a danger, not just having thoughts. having a thought all by itself doesn't hurt anyone; it's the way you act on it that has the potential to cause harm.

but again, I want to emphasize, sexual behavior is by and large a pretty easy wire not to get crossed with other things. please note the brave billions of people who manage to get through every day without groping their colleagues and random strangers because they understand it's not the appropriate time, place, or partner!

[loafysainz]

His Mistress | CS 55

carlos sainz x fem!reader

warn: mdni, possessive, harsh carlos, cheating

please do not read it uf youre not into dark fic!

Carlos Sainz had it all. The last name, the wealth, the looks, the charm. His family owned one of the largest automotive empires in the world, and Carlos? He was their golden boy—successful in his own right, running his own business in the same industry. Everyone loved him. The media adored him, his parents were proud, and people saw him as this picture-perfect man—humble, respectful, and effortlessly charismatic.

And now, with the news of his engagement to Rebecca, an insanely gorgeous and world-renowned model, the public’s obsession with him only grew stronger. Power couple, they called them. A match made in heaven. Everyone was convinced Carlos had the perfect life.

Everyone, except one person.

Y/N.

Because unlike the rest of the world, Y/N knew who Carlos Sainz truly was.

And she knew, because she was the secret he kept locked away.

No one else knew about the luxurious house tucked away in the hills, far from the noise of the city. No one else had ever seen the woman who lived inside. A woman so stunning, so unreal in her beauty, that Carlos had never been able to let go. He met her years ago when she worked as his personal assistant, and from the moment their eyes met, he knew. There was something about her—something addictive, something he wanted to keep to himself.

So he did.

Y/N hadn’t stepped out of this house in years. Not because she couldn’t, but because Carlos wouldn’t let her. No one else got to see her. No one else got to have her.

She was his.

—

Carlos stormed into the house that night, his jaw tight, his patience worn thin.

He had just come from a family meeting—one where his parents and Rebecca’s team had gone over details for his wedding. His future. As if he even gave a shit about any of it. He hated the idea of marriage. Hated feeling trapped.

And now? He needed an escape.

Needed her.

The moment he saw Y/N standing there, he crossed the room in three long strides, grabbing her wrist and pulling her into him. She barely had time to breathe before his lips crashed onto hers, his hands gripping her like he needed to remind himself that she was real. That she was still here, still his.

And she let him. Because what else could she do?

The room was silent after. Only the sound of their heavy breaths remained, mingling in the space between them. Carlos was still lying beside her, his arm draped lazily over her bare waist when his phone buzzed on the nightstand.

Rebecca.

He exhaled sharply, grabbing the phone and unlocking it.

She had sent a series of messages, asking for his opinion on which wedding gown to wear.

Carlos barely glanced at the options before passing the phone to Y/N. “Reply to her,” he muttered.

Y/N hesitated, staring at the screen.

“Now.” His voice was sharp, leaving no room for argument.

Her fingers trembled slightly as she typed out a response, picking a gown at random.

Moments later, Rebecca called.

Carlos didn’t even hesitate before answering, his voice soft, sweet, nothing like the man who had just pinned Y/N down minutes ago.

“Hi, cariño,” Rebecca’s voice chirped through the speaker. “I’m so happy you picked this gown. It’s my favorite too.”

Carlos forced a small chuckle, eyes flicking to Y/N. She was staring at the ceiling, trying not to react.

After a few more seconds of Rebecca’s excited chatter, the call ended.

The second the screen went dark, the temperature in the room shifted. Carlos turned his head, his gaze dark, sharp, cutting straight through Y/N like a blade.

“What gown did you pick?” His voice was eerily calm.

Y/N swallowed, then slowly showed him the picture.

Silence.

Then, “Why did you pick that one?”

She hesitated, then spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s… beautiful.”

Carlos let out a dry laugh. A humorless, mocking sound.

His fingers tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Did you pick it because you like it?” His voice was lower now, almost a whisper. “Did you think about yourself in it?”

Her breath hitched.

“Did you think,” Carlos continued, his grip tightening, “that one day you could wear a dress like this?”

Y/N’s lips parted, but no words came out.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, though there was no warmth behind it. He leaned in, voice dripping in something cold, something final.

“Never.”

His thumb brushed over her bottom lip, almost gently. Almost.

“You don’t get to dream about that, cariño. You don’t get to think about a life where you wear a dress like that.” His voice was sharp now, biting. “You belong here. With me. And only me.”

A single tear slipped down Y/N’s cheek.

Carlos watched it fall, his expression unreadable.

And then he kissed her again—slow, deep, claiming.

As if sealing a promise.

As if reminding her—

That no matter what, no matter who the world thought he was, no matter how perfect he seemed—

She would always be his best-kept secret.

[msbigredmachine]

New To This - Chapter 20

MASTERLIST

WARNING: Heavy themes, Please proceed with caution.

For the first time in weeks, the world around Delilah seemed at peace. Floating was a serene sensation, the weightlessness carrying her to a place of quiet tranquility. Free from worry, free from doubt, her mistakes drifted out of reach, dissolving into nothingness. Her mind emptied, her body unburdened. It was as if nothing else existed—nothing beyond the water, nothing beyond the surface. Here, she could not be touched. She could not be harmed. She could not be corrupted. She felt like a child again, safely protected in her mother’s womb, untouched by the world’s cruelty.

A sharp gasp tore from her throat as Delilah bolted upright, air stabbing through her lungs like a blade. Her chest rose and fell in uneven, frantic breaths. For a few disorienting seconds, she couldn’t recognize where she was. Her eyes darted around the dim room, her surroundings coming into focus—the soft lavender walls, the dresser lined with Simone’s carefully placed candles, the faint scent of vanilla in the air.

She was back in Simone’s house. Back in the guest bedroom.

Not floating. Not peaceful. Not safe.

The reality of it all sank into her bones like lead. The weight that had been lifted in her dream crashed back down, crushing her under its familiar heaviness.

She had gone through with it.

The tiny life that had once been inside of her was gone.

She curled into herself, pulling the blanket tighter around her body. She had known this would happen, had prepared herself, had gone to that clinic with her decision already made. Yet, it still hit her like a train. The finality of it. The silence in her body where something had been growing. Would she ever get the chance to be a mother again? Did she even deserve to?

A bitter scoff left her lips. She had sacrificed her unborn child at the altar of her wrestling career, right next to her failed relationship with Andre. She had made a choice. So why did it still feel like something had been ripped from her?

And Josh…

She squeezed her eyes shut.

She shouldn’t even be thinking about him. He didn’t deserve to be thought about. He had made it abundantly clear that this wasn’t his problem. That he wasn’t going to guide her, support her, or even pretend to care.

“I just want you to do what’s best for you.”

Bullshit.

He didn’t care. Didn’t care enough to have an actual opinion, to step up like a real man. He had been so sure when he kept having sex with her without protection, but when the consequences of that recklessness came knocking, he had nothing to say. To her, he had washed his hands clean of it, as if he hadn’t been the one to get her pregnant in the first place.

She blocked him the second she walked out of that clinic.

She wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

All she wanted was to get out of Pensacola, leave this chapter behind, and start over. She was counting down the days until she could be medically cleared and head out to Orlando. A fresh start. A new beginning.

But first, she had to get through this pain. Physical and emotional. She didn’t know how, but she knew she just had to.

--------------------

The afternoon sun was creeping in through the blinds when Delilah finally reached for her phone. She had ignored it for the past two days, but now, as she sat curled up in bed, she knew she owed one person an explanation.

Tank.

She Facetimed him, and after a few rings, his face appeared on her screen. The concern in his expression hit her immediately.

“Delilah,” he greeted, voice heavy. “Been wonderin’ when you was gonna call me back.”

She swallowed, her throat dry. “Yeah…sorry.”

Tank studied her through the screen, his jaw tightening. “You look like hell, girl.”

She let out a humorless laugh. “I feel like it too.”

He exhaled, rubbing a hand over his face. “Talk to me.”

Delilah hesitated, her fingers gripping the blanket draped over her lap. Then, before she could second-guess herself, the words spilled out.

“I was pregnant,” she admitted, her voice a hoarse whisper as she gauged the look of complete shock on his face. “I found out after I came back from Vegas.”

Tank remained silent, though the slight widening of his eyes gave his thoughts away. He didn’t interrupt, didn’t say anything, just listened.

She forced herself to continue. “It was Josh’s.”

His nostrils flared. “You said, was.”

“Yes. Was.” She glanced down at her fingernails, suddenly realizing she needed a manicure. “I…I didn’t keep it,” she confessed, her voice breaking at the end. “I couldn’t. Not with everything that's...not with the way he—he just didn’t care, Tank. He acted like it wasn’t even his problem.”

A long silence stretched between them. Then, finally, Tank spoke again, his voice low and laced with disappointment.

“That boy done lost his damn mind.”

Delilah’s throat tightened.

“I been knowin’ Josh for damn near two decades, but I ain’t never seen him be this much of a coward,” Tank muttered, shaking his head. “You ain’t deserve that, Dee. You hear me?”

She swallowed hard, nodding. “I had the procedure two days ago, that’s why you didn’t hear from me.”

“You did what you had to do,” Tank said firmly. “Ain’t nobody got the right to judge you for it. Least of all him.”

Delilah bit her lip, fighting the lump in her throat. She hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear that.

Later that evening, Simone tried her best to cheer her up.

“Come on, girl, you need to get out of this damn room,” she said, dragging Delilah into the living room. “CJ been askin’ for you all day.”

True to her words, her five-year-old nephew beamed when he saw her. “Auntie ‘Lilahl!” he squealed, launching himself at her.

Delilah managed a small smile as she scooped him up. “Hey, little man.”

CJ chattered away about his day, his excitement infectious. Even Clay, Simone’s husband, threw in a few encouraging words.

It helped. For a little while.

But the moment she was alone again, the weight returned.

----------------

The next morning, Delilah was ripped from sleep by the sound of shouting.

Her heart lurched.

She stumbled out of bed, moving towards the window. The second she saw who was on the front porch, her stomach dropped.

Josh.

He was standing there, his hands pressed together like he was praying, looking desperate.

“Man, I just need to see her!” he pleaded.

Simone was in the doorway, arms crossed, face twisted in disgust. “You got some fuckin’ nerve showin’ up here!.”

“Simone, please—”

“Nah, hell nah,” she snapped. “You ain’t got shit to say to my sister now, just like you ain’t have shit to say when she needed you!”

Delilah’s hands clenched into fists at her sides.

She didn’t know what pissed her off more—the fact that Josh had the audacity to show up here, or the fact that he suddenly gave a damn now that it was too late.

“You don’t get to do this,” Simone hissed, jabbing a finger into his chest. “You don’t get to be the fuckin’ victim when you was the one actin’ like this wasn’t your problem!”

Josh ran a hand over his face, exhaling sharply. “I ain’t—I ain’t mean for it to be like this, man. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Yeah? Well, too fuckin’ bad,” Simone shot back. “You shoulda thought about that before you left my sister to deal with this shit alone!”

Delilah took a deep breath, then stepped forward, pushing the door open wider.

Josh’s head snapped up at the sight of her. His eyes—damn those eyes—were filled with something she couldn’t quite place.

Guilt? Regret?

It didn’t matter.

“Delilah,” he started with that deep, gruff voice of his, “I tried to reach you, but you blocked me—”

“You need to leave,” she said, her tone cold.

Josh swallowed. “Baby, please, just let me—”

“There ain’t nothing to say,” she interrupted. “It’s done.”

His face twisted. “Delilah—”

“Leave,” she repeated, steel in her voice.

But Josh was stubborn. It was in his blood, in his bones, in the way he carried himself like he never took no for an answer. That Samoan pride, that relentless need to fix what was broken—he wasn’t the type to just walk away.

So, he didn’t.

“Delilah,” he tried again, stepping forward. “Please, man. Just…just come to my place. Let’s talk.”

She stiffened. “I got nothing to say to you, Josh.”

“Then don’t say nothin’,” he pleaded. “Just let me be there for you.”

She scoffed, shaking her head. “Now? Now you wanna be there? After I already—” Her voice wavered, and she swallowed hard, her nails digging into her palms. “It’s done, Josh.”

Something flickered in his eyes—pain, maybe, or something darker, something unreadable—but he nodded, slow and deliberate. “Aight,” he murmured. “I hear you.”

For a second, she thought he might finally let it go. That he’d turn around and leave like he should.

But of course, he didn’t.

“I still wanna see you,” he said. “I know you leavin’ next week. I know I fucked up, baby girl. But let me fix somethin’. Let me take care of you.”

She exhaled sharply, willing herself not to fold.

She hated him.

She hated that he had the nerve to show up now, that he thought he could just throw those eyes at her, all soft and sorry, and she’d melt.

But most of all, she hated that some part of her still wanted to go.

She chewed the inside of her cheek, torn.

Josh stepped closer, voice low. “One night, baby. That’s all I’m askin’.”

She closed her eyes. She should say no. She needed to say no.

But she never had been able to resist him.

Not then.

And not now.

Simone stared at her like she had lost her damn mind.

“Are you serious right now?” Her sister’s voice was sharp, edged with disbelief. “After everything? After what he did, what he didn’t do—you really gon’ go with him?”

Delilah opened her mouth, then closed it. She wasn’t sure. She really wasn’t. Every logical part of her screamed to tell him no, to turn around and go back inside, to stop letting him have this kind of power over her.

But there was another part of her. A part that was tired. A part that, despite everything, just wanted him. Not to argue, not to rehash every shitty moment of the last few weeks. Just to exist with him for a little while.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

Simone exhaled, hands on her hips. “Wow, Delilah.” She shook her head. “You can’t be for real.”

Josh didn’t say anything, just stood there waiting, his dark eyes locked on Delilah’s. He could probably tell she was already breaking, that whatever resolve she’d had was slipping through her fingers. He always did know exactly how to pull her back in.

“You don’t even gotta pack much,” he said, voice low, coaxing. “I got you set up. Everything you need. Just come with me.”

Delilah swallowed hard. He had prepared for her?

She wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse.

“You really left Raw just to come here?” she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

Josh nodded once. “Soon as I realized you wasn’t gonna answer me, yeah.”

Simone let out a humorless laugh. “Oh, so now he gives a fuck? Now he wanna be here? You ain’t even call her back when she told you she was pregnant, but now you movin’ mountains to see her?”

Josh’s jaw flexed, but he didn’t take the bait. He kept his focus on Delilah.

“Baby, please,” he begged.

And that was it. That one word. The way it rolled off his tongue, deep and familiar, warm in a way she hated to admit she missed.

Delilah sucked in a breath.

She wasn’t ready to forgive him. Probably never would be.

But right now?

Right now, she just wanted to feel something other than empty.

Delilah exhaled sharply, rubbing her temples. “Fine,” she murmured, barely believing the words leaving her mouth.

Simone sucked her teeth in frustration. “You really—” She cut herself off, shaking her head like she couldn’t even find the words. “You know what? Do what you want. But he—” she jabbed a finger toward Josh, “—can wait his ass in the car. Don’t bring your sorry ass near my house again.”

Josh held up his hands. “Aight, I hear you,” he said evenly. He didn’t argue, didn’t push back. Instead, he turned to Delilah. “I’ll be outside. Take your time, baby.”

Delilah ignored the way her stomach twisted yet again at that last word. She watched him retreat to his car, the door slamming shut behind him, before she turned and headed inside.

Simone was right on her heels. “You know this is stupid, right?”

Delilah sighed. “I don’t know what this is.”

“You just had surgery, Delilah. You need to be resting, not running off with the same man who left you to deal with this shit on your own.”

“I wasn’t on my own,” Delilah shot back, feeling defensive. “I had you.”

“Yeah, but was he there?” Simone’s eyes burned into hers. “Did he show up when it mattered?”

Delilah clenched her jaw. She didn’t have an answer for that.

Simone scoffed. “Exactly.”

Delilah didn’t respond. Instead, she moved toward her room, her footsteps slow and heavy. She grabbed her duffle bag from the closet, tossing in a few essentials—leggings, hoodies, travel toiletries. She wasn’t even sure what she was packing for. She had no real plans, no real expectations.

She sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, fingers gripping the fabric of her bag.

Was she doing the right thing?

Probably not.

But for reasons she couldn’t explain, she was doing it anyway.

--------------------

The near-hour-long drive to Josh’s house was thick with tension, suffocating and inescapable. The silence between them wasn’t comfortable—it was sharp-edged, bristling with everything unsaid. The highway stretched ahead endlessly, the glow of streetlights casting fleeting shadows over their faces. Delilah sat stiffly in the passenger seat, arms crossed, jaw clenched, staring out the window as if the darkness outside could swallow up the turmoil inside her. She could feel his presence beside her, heavy and unreadable, and it only made her anger simmer hotter beneath her skin.

Finally, Josh broke the silence. “How you feelin’?” His voice was low, careful, like he was stepping on glass.

Delilah turned her head, her eyes burning as she glared at him. “How do you think I’m feeling, Josh?” she snapped, her voice raw with exhaustion and resentment. “I feel like I just had a fucking abortion, that's how I fucking feel. It’s done.”

His grip on the steering wheel tightened, the muscle in his jaw twitching. “Ay, I'm sorry, a'ight?” He let out a slow breath through his nose, then said, “Guess it is what it is.”

Delilah’s head jerked back slightly, disbelief flashing across her face before it twisted into something bitter. It is what it is?

She let out a sharp, humorless laugh, shaking her head as she turned back to the window. “Don’t act like you care.”

Josh sighed, running a hand over his face, but kept his eyes on the road. “Of course I care! What you want me to say, Dee?”

“I don’t know, maybe something that don’t make me feel like I was in this shit alone,” she shot back, voice shaking. “You were so damn passive aggressive in them texts, like you ain’t know whether you wanted this baby or not. And when I needed you to be there for me, you left me hanging.” She turned to him, her expression hard. “You never had a problem bein’ decisive when you wanted to fuck me raw, though.”

Josh flinched at that, his jaw tightening. He stayed quiet for a beat before speaking again, his voice softer. “I ain’t mean to make you feel like that.”

“But you did.”

A long silence stretched between them.

Then Josh sighed, gripping the wheel tighter. “Look…you did the right thing.”

Delilah scoffed, crossing her arms tighter over her chest. “The right thing?” she repeated mockingly. “And you know that how?”

His lips pressed together like he was trying to choose his words carefully. Finally, he spoke. “’Cause I been there,” he admitted. His voice was lower now, rough with something deeper, something heavier. “When me and Tameka had our first kid, my career was just startin’ to take off. We wasn’t ready, man. Thought we was, but we wasn’t.”

Delilah stared at him, but he didn’t look at her. He kept his focus ahead, his expression dark, troubled.

“I missed so much, Dee,” he went on, shaking his head. “His first steps, first words, birthdays, school plays…hell, you name it, I probably wasn’t there. My oldest? He still looks at me like I’m the reason everything fell apart. Like it’s my fault me and his mama ain’t work out. And maybe he ain’t wrong.”

Delilah swallowed, her fingers twitching against her arms, but she said nothing.

Josh sighed again, rolling his shoulders back like he was trying to shake off a weight. “I didn’t wanna say nothin’ before ‘cause…I wanted you to make your own choice,” he admitted. “But I ain’t want that life for you. You’re young, Dee. You crazy talented. You got a whole career ahead of you. A baby right now? It woulda changed everything. For real.” He finally turned to glance at her. “And you don’t deserve that. Not after everything you’ve been through. You deserve to shine.”

Delilah felt her throat tighten.

She wanted to stay angry. She wanted to cuss him out some more, tell him how much he hurt her, how much his indecisiveness had made everything worse. But some small, treacherous part of her understood. Maybe that’s what made it worse.

She turned away again, blinking rapidly as she stared out at the passing lights.

Josh exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, Delilah,” he murmured. “For all of it. On me.”

Delilah kept her eyes on the window, her reflection barely visible against the dark glass. Her throat felt tight, but she refused to let it show.

“I know I fucked up,” he continued, his voice low, almost pleading now. “I do. But I don’t wanna leave shit like this between us. Let me be here for you. Just for a little while. Before you leave for Orlando.”

She swallowed hard, her fingers twitching in her lap.

“That’s why I came back. For you. Like I told you, I’m staying off Raw this week to be there for you,” he said, glancing at her with soft eyes l. “Please, Delilah. Let me take care of you.”

Delilah closed her eyes for a moment, her breath unsteady. She should say no. She should get out of this car, go back to Simone’s, and pretend the last year never happened. But she wasn’t sure she had it in her.

Instead, she nodded. Just once.

Josh didn’t say anything else. But when he reached over and gave her knee a light squeeze, she didn’t push him away.

The rest of the drive stretched on in silence, thick with all the emotions neither of them had the strength to say out loud.

--------------------

THOUGHTS?

Credit to @cosmicdes for the gif.

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[myimaginationplain]

Everyone has a right to their own headcanons of course, but any Arcane x Harry Potter AU where Jayce & Viktor aren't both in Ravenclaw is immediately bunk to me. If you think Jayce is a Gryffindor, then you're being misled by his muscles & bullheadedness & generally Superman-esque aura. Jayce nominally cares about chivalry, sure, & he is certainly brave, so it's not like Gryffindor is ill-fitting per say; but Jayce, without a doubt, prioritizes his curiosity & learning/discovering for the sake of it over those. I think "scholar whose theories are so beyond the pale that he's branded insane only for him to have been completely correct," is definitely a Ravenclaw-leaning archetype. Basically I think Jayce would do for Ravenclaw what Cedric Diggory did for Hufflepuff (make the stereotypical nerdy loser house look cool).

Viktor is so stereotypically Ravenclaw that I don't even need to say anything about him, really. I maybe see the Sorting Hat considering him for Slytherin for just a moment, because he is ambitious & cunning. But Viktor funnels nearly all of his ambition & cunning into learning, his ultimate end goal, so he gets Ravenclaw in T-2 seconds.

Mel is a Slytherin. Like, "the Hat pronounces her Slytherin before it's even fully touched her head," Slytherin. But she's definitely more of the "laying in wait & keeping her opinions close to the chest" type than she is the "loud & proud bully," type. She makes herself, known, of course; she'd be a prefect, & everyone in the school can put her face to her name. But ask anyone what he actual opinions on anything are (especially where Wizarding politics are concerned), they're gonna come up short.

Caitlyn & Vi are both so Gryffindor that it's painful. Very Hermione & Ron, actually, although with their blood statuses reversed. Cassandra Kiramman was a Slytherin, so obviously there's a lot of tension over it. Especially once she brings home a muggleborn girl (Vi).

Jinx & Ekko could both very easily slot into Ravenclaw...but I actually prefer them in Slytherin & Hufflepuff, respectively. Jinx is like Viktor in reverse in this regard—she's extremely intelligent & creative, but to the end goal of protecting herself & her own. She's sly & deceitful & slippery; she's that once-in-every-few generations miraculously muggleborn Slytherin who somehow exemplifies the traits of the house better than any of her peers do.

Ekko is just so community-oriented & warm at his core; if pressed I think he'd definitely say that he prioritizes kindness & togetherness over anything else, & sees his own intelligence as more of a tool than an end goal in & of itself. The Firelights hideout also reminds me of the Hufflepuff common room in a way; I just know Ekko would love herbology. Like Jayce, he'd also be a real Cedric Diggory type.

Now for the secondary & tertiary character gauntlet: Kino, Elora & Lest can all be Slytherins because they all lowkey revolve around Mel & I can't imagine them anywhere else (although tbf, we know next to nothing about Kino's actual personality, so he could go anywhere you want him to honestly). Likewise, Sky can be in Ravenclaw because besides her shyness, the only two character traits we get from her are that she 1) has a crush on Viktor & 2) is a fellow nerd, so to Ravenclaw she goes (plus it suits her name). Claggor & Mylo both go to Hufflepuff because at the end of the day, it is kind of the cast-off house, & I don't necessarily see them fitting in anywhere else (Claggor is also an herbology-lover). Maddie is a Pettigrew-style Gryffindor. Vander & Benzo are old guard Gryffindors. Silco is lowkey a squib to me, but if he weren't he'd be in Slytherin, 100%.

EDIT: Actually I was thinking about it, & considering Silco's whole spiel about loyalty & how fastidiously he sticks by Jinx, it might be more fun for him to be a particularly duplicitous Hufflepuff, lol.

[not-too-many-eyes]

Regarding Bella's Existence

(Also Known as: Nott is really tired of people repeating a very big misconception regarding their relationship that gets denied in the text itself, and decided to make a post about it in the hopes people stop repeating it)

I've been planning to write about Semmelweis for a while now. She's one of my personal favorite characters, and I have a lot of thoughts regarding her, her background, and her beliefs. However I was waiting for a future Series of Dusks update to happen before writing that post so that I could write something comprehensive and resolved.

However, I've been routinely annoyed in seeing the same misconception be repeated again and again about Semmelweis and Bella's relationship whenever I look into here, YouTube comments, or having the misfortune of deciding to look at the Discord for some reason.

That misconception being the idea that Bella is just a very sentient hallucination.

The Report Now, let's get the easy part of this explanation out of the way as to why Bella Isn't a Hallucination. That being this is something that gets directly addressed, and denied in text, multiple times in fact! The first is in A Series of Dusks Part 2 "Second-Class Citizen:"

Semmelweis: Whoever you are. I have a poor opinion of things that try to interfere with my mind. Bella: Ah, so you think I'm a result of the Beyond Disease? Just another hallucination, a nightmare Bella: But you've read the reports. So you know what this really is, you know that Miss Klara's Arcane Skill lets you glimpse at your inner self Bella: Your not a fool, my dear. Do you still want to deny the truth right before your eyes? Semmelweis: ... Bella: It is an extraordinary ability, wouldn't you agree? Bella: And for one so accustomed to deceiving everyone, even yourself. It proves dangerously effective.

This is a direct denial of the idea Bella is a hallucination. Kakania's Arcane Skill lets one look into their inner world in great detail. As it so so happens, Semmelweis' inner world has her and Bella as the main tenants of it. Bella might have even been there since she was a child. We don't know, we just know she didn't come into existence because of the Beyond Syndrome.

However, Semmelweis is In Denial that Bella is real, and has been inside of her for god knows how long at this point, which leads to me to the second time that the text denies that Bella is a hallucination. Which is in Part 6 of A Series of Dusks, Fate in the Mirror:

Bella: The Storm Syndrome this time is so much more fun that the previous ones, wouldn't you agree? Bella appears at Semmelweis' side, she seems so much more real than ever before. Semmelweis: I wish I could share your perspective. However, uninvited hallucinations are not included in the symptoms of the Storm Syndrome this time. Bella: If only it were that, no, you can see me precisely because the Beyond's bloodline is already altering your mind. Bella: It's a change that brings tearing and reorganization. And it seems like I am one such part that is being torn out. Bella: And as a part of you. I believe I have the right to object to your behavior.

Semmelweis calls her a hallucination again after this, because both her and Bella have a really bad case of Internalized Ableism, but again, Bella denies that she's here because of the Beyond Disease. Actually quite the opposite, she says she's here because the Beyond Disease Wants Her Gone. She's a part of Semmelweis that is being deemed "unwanted" by the disease.

Which leads me to Part 7, Waves and Notes. While it initially seems like Lorelei's words here about how Semmelweis is "talking to herself" would destroy the idea Bella isn't a hallucination and it's actually Bella who's in denial of her own existence. It doesn't really.

There's two possible explanations to it actually, the worse, boring one that I don't like as much which is "The Bella here is a hallucination" which tracks if you take Semmelweis meeting Bella in the therapist room as the actual Bella based on her going "I didn't expect we would meet again under these circumstances," and tracks with Semmelweis Actually Hallucinating Bella in her Ancedote and using her as a soundboard for her fears (we will get to this later.) However, this goes against both how that is Visually showcased in her Ancedote, how Semmelweis' hallucinations Usually go, and causes more internal hiccups with what happens before that scene, and Lorelei says Afterwards, than the second, more fun explanation does, which is that it acts as a resolution to Semmelweis' own denial of Bella's existence, and Bella's own internalized ableism.

It's not something that's drawn much attention to, but Bella Really Hates the idea of seeming "insane" and trusting anyone who seems "insane."

Bella: You don't believe these two lunatics, do you? Bella: You think you're taking back control. But all your doing is handing over your fate from the Foundation to these two crazed Arcanists.

It's a fear Bella expresses in Fate in the Mirror. That ultimately Sememlweis is losing the safety provided by the Foundation for something that won't help her at all in the end.

This might seem contradictory with how she acted with Semmelweis in Second-Class Citizen but it's actually internally consistent with Bella's two main goals. Which is that she wants Semmelweis to be Honest with Herself about what she actually wants, and she wants Semmelweis to be Safe. To Bella, the Foundation is safer than the two "insane" arcanists. So she roots for Semmelweis to go back to the Foundation.

Due to this mistrust in the mentally ill, and possibly other reasons such as Semmelweis repressing and not acknowledging her existence, and calling her a hallucination at every turn even though Bella Knows she isn't, lack of proper medical care and literature (we know Very Well Semmelweis has had bad experiences with Doctors,) etc. Bella has checked the two of them out of the "insane mentally ill people" box.

Despite Semmelweis actually experincing hallucinations, despite being able to recognize that people usually can't see or hear her, calling her and Semmelweis "the same person" like- 30 minutes ago in the game's time, and despite knowing that her existence resembles that of a hallucination. Bella is acting as if her existence is just a normal part of life and not- I dunno- the most well known symptom of a dissociative disorder.

So when Lorelei outright says that Semmelweis has been talking to herself. It disturbs that perception. It's a logic error in her perspective of herself and Semmelweis that she's only noticed due to it being called out and it freaks her out.

Notice, Lorelei never says that Bella is a hallucination. And actually she acknowledges Bella as a Person, or at the very least "A Part" of Semmelweis.

Lorelei: You must learn to accept all parts of yourself, rational and emotional. Both... Lorelei: Semmelweis and Bella. (...) Lorelei: How else could I know your names, my dears? Semmelweis & Bella: No, that can't be! Lorelei: Why do you refuse to accept what you are, my little musical note? Lorelei: You are a beautiful composition. Why should you tear yourself apart?

She wants Semmelweis to reconcile the divide between herself, her mental state, and her and Bella. Which finally resolves at the end of this part where Semmelweis goes:

Bella: I see. Then no one can change your mind. You're always like this. Semmelweis: We're always like this.

Semmelweis uses Plural Pronouns here because she has Acknowledged Bella as an Actual Person and Not a Hallucination. Thus showcasing her coming to some terms with her mental illneses- so can I call Bella an alter already? Have I convinced people enough that Bella is not a Hallucination? ...Okay not yet, because there is still the elephant in the room.

The Third Circumstance

In the The Third Circumstance we get to see Semmelweis actually hallucinate Bella! And also Valentina! They are here trying to goad her into drinking the blood of innocents, and to do murders.

Now, this seems kinda bad for my arguments on two levels, that being Bella is here as a hallucination, and the second being that if I Say this is Bella and not a hallucination then it feeds into the idea of Bella being an "evil alter." But I actually have a very simple argument that cuts through that.

They don't use Bella's sprite to represent here here.

This is a really weird detail. They have Bella's sprite, they've been using it for every single one of her appearances, and Valentina's sprite is being used.

So why not use Bella's sprite?

Well it's simple, that is actually hallucination Bella, and her sprite is deliberately not being not being used to showcase that Semmelweis’ fears still haven’t been fully quelled.

Because Semmelweis, despite choosing to become a vampire, is still afraid of what that could Mean. The Ancedote is showing her denying her actual dietary needs out of fear of what that blood drinking could represent.

We know she gets over this fear, after all, she jokes about it with Vertin in the Suitcase.

Semmelweis, Bond-Morning: I admit, I am glad to find you seldom invite others to share breakfast here. Personally, I find myself more comfortable drinking blood when you and I are alone… Oh, do relax, I prepared a salad today, no blood bags involved.

And her uh- entire fighting style is centered around blood. She's grown accustomed to herself, and has learned how to manage and take care of herself.

Similarly, Semmelweis is at the point where she’s resolved to accept her “madness” but is afriad what that could mean. Her hallucinations are written to reflect that fear, beforehand they were mostly persecutory hallucinations involving her in danger or being treated badly in some way. Now she’s afraid of what she might do to others, her poor diatery habits making the problem worse.

The point we see Semmelweis in at her anecdote is her at a regression. She's made the choice but the implications of that choice are now weighing on her. We even see Semmelweis repersent herself as "The Field Agent" as the first hallucination ends.

Plus, the portrayal of Bella is just- internally inconsistent.

Again, Bella's most important goals is for Semmelweis to be Honest and Safe, and she was actively against Semmelweis becoming a vampire. Bella has been shown to Not Like Valentina much, and is not exactly someone who would:

Valentina & Bella: You need blood, just a little taste. Then we won't bother you anymore, we'll lie at your feet like faithful hounds.

When Bella is acknowledged to be as stubborn as Semmelweis is.

At the very least, I distinctly doubt she'd encourage Semmelweis shooting a child, and drink his blood in the middle of the day where people can see her. She'd tell her to do it in secret where the Foundation wouldn't notice-

Though, to just put another nail into the coffin into that idea. We actually Meet Bella in the suitcase.

When you play the audio for Semmelweis' Insight 2 Voiceline she has two different animations depending on whether it's her or Bella.

Indicating that it's a different person talking.

The first part of the voice line is actually a reference to the base ending of A Series of Dusks "A Wish Granted." And in that first part Bella says that she's finally back, and is glad to see her wish (Semmelweis being honest and safe.) Having come true. Implying that she hasn't been talking to Semmelweis much since A Series of Dusks.

Really it's implied that usually Bella and Semmelweis don't communicate much with each other, which is part of why Semmelweis hasn't acknowledged her 'till now. But that goes into some stuff that hasn't been revealed in Global yet so I won't discuss it in detail.

So...yeah! Stop calling Bella a Hallucination when the game has stated and shown Multiple Times that she isn't! Semmelweis has Hallucinations but Bella is Not One Of Them!

[thesmashwaffle]

-- ❤️: Favorite character?

Arven. Hands down. The last character that I've loved and resonated with on this level was Hau back in Gen 7, and it takes a lot to even come close to matching that. Like, I love how many layers there is to him as a character, because while you would've expected him to be the resident asshole (a la Gladion and Bede), he turns out to be such a sweet, gentle, and sentimental guy. He was very much going through it with all the shit he was put through, and I can relate deeply to how he thinks more with his heart than his head, how he struggles to communicate with and read other people, and how much he cares about those close to him on the inside. I love him to death, and he'll go down as one of my favorite characters in all of fiction.

-- ⭐️: Favorite Team Star member?

Honestly a pretty tough choice, since there's a good bit to like about all of them, but I think Giacomo is the most compelling to me. I think his design is kickass, I admire how chill he is, and his background as the former student council president is very compelling. (Funny how two of Arven's more well known ships are with student council presidents of some shape or form)

-- 0️⃣: Favorite DLC character?

Listen, this one was a pretty hard choice between the siblings, but I might actually have to say Carmine. Like, I really didn't like her that much at first, and that was mainly because the way she treated Kieran sometimes hit a little too close to home. The way she bad talk or embarrass him in front of the player, the only real friend he made at that point, the way she brushed off some of his feelings as "teenage angst" and just him being emotional, some other stuff... It felt like a spitting image of how my brother used to treat me up until my second semester of high school. Later on though, you can see how she genuinely concerns for her brother, and realizing how she took him for granted in some ways, she comes back around exactly how my brother did. There's definitely a good few more layers to her beyond this, but all in all, she's such a well and realistically written older sibling, and I love her for that.

-- 💥: Favorite Gym leader/Elite four?

Kofu. I love his "fun uncle" energy, and he never fails to put a big fucking grin on my face whenever he's onscreen. I want to give him a hug.

-- 📝: Opinion on each of the Zero Crew? (Arven, Penny, Nemona)

Arven - I think I already said as much as I needed to before.

Penny - She didn't click with me as much as she apparently did for a lot of other people, but I really adore her and what she stands for as a character. I love how well she connects with others like Team Star even despite her introverted nature.

Nemona - Oh boy, where do I begin with you? I've said it before, but I love how she puts her own spin on the obligatory rival trope where instead of trying to be better than the player, she trains the player up to become as strong as she truly is so she can have someone to rival her strength in battle. Even besides that, she's just such a lovable character in her own ways. I adore her enthusiasm, I think her overzealousness can be funny, and she's just the kind of character you just love to love

Also, whether you ship them or just see them as friends, I don't think her dynamic with Arven is appreciated enough. Early on, they do bicker a lot, and he does claim that they "can't get along", but you can tell that she cares about him unconditionally by the way that she shows concern for his wellbeing in her first phone call. Furthermore, Arven even considered going to Nemona for help with the titans before you came along, and actually softens up on her in Area Zero when realizing how much more there is to her as a person. They still butt heads a little in the postgame, but you can tell they're getting along better by the way Nemona implies they've been talking more when bringing up Arven's suggestion for the tournament's name. I could go on for a while longer about this, but all in all, they have better chemistry than a lot of people realize.

-- 🌲: Opinion on the Kitakami siblings?

Carmine - I think I said all that I needed to before.

Kieran - Honestly such a nicely written character. I love his character arc, and as a younger sibling who was also kinda kicked around a lot, I can relate to him in some ways myself. I do like how he's sort of this subtle antagonist though, because Kieran was more or less the catalyst for literally everything that went wrong in the DLC. He was the reason the Loyal Three got revived and antagonized Ogerpon, he created a toxic environment within the League Club, and he awoke and enraged Terapagos. Like, sure, he didn't have these evil schemes and shit like Giovanni and Ghetsis, but in terms of what he was willing to do or risk for his own fulfillment, was he any different from characters like Volo or Lusamine? It's just more understandable and forgiveable in his case because he's just a kid and wasn't nearly as far gone, since he came right back around towards the end.

-- 🫐: Opinion on the BB league members?

I can't say too much for each of them individually other than Drayton, because he's the only one they did all that much with. I do like him in particular most out of the rest for how much smarter he is than he lets on and the layers he has to his character. Crispin is my second favorite of the bunch because I like his passionate energy and love for cooking, plus his blatant crush on Lacey is adorable. Speaking of, Lacey is adorable, and I kinda wish she clicked with me the same way she seemed to with a lot of others. Amarys is... Amarys. I don't want to say I disliked her, but she just isn't interesting to me as a character in the slightest. I think her design is cool, though that's really about all I can say.

-- ⏱️: Favorite Paradox Pokemon?

Penis Dragon Miraidon. The design is so fucking cool, the type combo is one I like, and I admire how both it and Koraidon have more of an established character in the story than any other box legendaries do. The closest we had to anything like it before was Nebby.

-- 💛: Favorite Paldean Pokemon?

God, that's a tough one because there's a good few that I actually really like.

I think I'm gonna have to say the Pawmot line. I like that it actually has an evolutionary line like Pikachu does, unlike the other pikaclones, and all of the designs for it are fucking adorable. I also love how stupidly busted Pawmot is against any pokemon that isn't a ground type.

-- 📖: Favorite storyline? (Ex: Mochi mayhem, Starfall street)

The Way Home. I love how it brings all three of the game's stories into one, gives such a solid introduction to Area Zero, concludes Arven's story arc, and establishes a fellowship betwixt yourself and your three friends. It's fitting that Toby Fox had a hand in this storyline's soundtrack and motifs, because it reminds me a lot of how everything was sort of tied together towards the end of Undertale's pacifist route. (Doesn't help the final boss has glowing blue eyes)

-- 🗣️: Anything you want to say about SV?

As a game, it's certainly not perfect, but in terms of damn near everything else, this might just be one of the best things to come out of Pokemon as a whole. I wish the game had more time in the oven so its flaws could be ironed out and so some people wouldn't have as much reason to drag it through the mud.

Pokemon Scarlet and Violet is easily the biggest hyperfixation I've had in years, and I'm honest to god surprised it's stuck with me this long. Then again, this series has been a part of my life for literally as long as I can remember, so what can I say?

Pokemon Scarvio themed reblog/tag game!

-- ❤️: Favorite character?

-- ⭐️: Favorite Team Star member?

-- 0️⃣: Favorite DLC character?

-- 💥: Favorite Gym leader/Elite four?

-- 📝: Opinion on each of the Zero Crew? (Arven, Penny, Nemona)

-- 🌲: Opinion on the Kitakami siblings?

-- 🫐: Opinion on the BB league members?

-- ⏱️: Favorite Paradox Pokemon?

-- 💛: Favorite Paldean Pokemon?

-- 📖: Favorite storyline? (Ex: Mochi mayhem, Starfall street)

-- 🗣️: Anything you want to say about Scarvio? (Infodump, a rant, or just other thoughts)

Feel free to infodump alongside your answers! Anyone is allowed to reblog :3

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

helping

[unnerving-presence]

lowkey annoying how the same people who say “wesker would not say he loves you” and accuse people who say that of making wesker ooc are the same people who genuinely think he’d kill you for interacting with him, which is also ooc

[knxfesck]

Had an epiphany that the reason I find it hard to believe I lie often is that I don't even consciously notice half of it bc its so normal to me... all my data is fucked man I might have to do some reflecting 💀

[amiaclone]

You asked I’ll write! Gender neutral reader if you don’t mind

Tw: cursing I guess? Squid game in general should be considered a trigger over all the murdering lmaoo

*In ho sighed for the what? Fifteenth time? He’s been counting it’s what he’s trying to focus on the other thing is well……*

*When he decided to participate in these games again it was to prove Gi hun a point and mess with him a bit so he joined his “team” which well….. they happened to be in*

You were apart of it a strong person filled with determination in debt to a lot of money…..honestly in ho was shocked with how much debt you were in I mean you seemed like someone who’d make it far in live would rule against the poor like he used to be…

But you weren’t you were *trash*

You were lower lower class you were nothing…..

Yet why couldn’t he stop thinking about you?

He had a wife who he fell out of love with before he even met you…..swore he’d never fall in love again after distancing himself with his family and starting the games…..

But you just had to be lucky star didn’t you?

You were “kind” and not in a pushover kind of way just….kind like kind that would not take shit from people but would help others in need….and didn’t hide your opinions from others that deserved it….

It was disgusting but…..In a good way? He wanted you not in a possessive way but in a way type of wanting to care for you and you care for him-

*He shook those thoughts off ugh. Why now? He’s usually so calm and collected…..at first he wouldn’t lie he was hoping you’d die in one of the earlier games but now….he isn’t so sure. Gi hun already has plans to take the guns and fight back he had a plan problem was…..you were apart of the main plan

He probably had to kill you it’s probably a good thing but…now he isn’t so sure he’s gotten along with you great and he has a tiny bit of hope that you even like him back so for you to find out he runs these games….he can’t risk it

You’ll find out anyway but he doesn’t wanna face you to your face he atleast wants to hide behind a mask atleast imagining what you’d say…..

Currently he’s trying to convince himself that these feelings aren’t real……maybe it’s just attraction? Of course you’re really good looking maybe it’s that!

“Uh In ho?”

*He turns around that voice dreaded him more then anything the voice he was ready to hear-*

“Are you okay In ho?”

It was Gi hun

*He unfortunately realised that after breaking out of his rare trance he blinked for a few seconds then nodded*

“What is it?”

*Gi hun shrugged* “Nothing you seemed out of it….” *In ho stared at the ground trying to seem calm but spoke in a bitter tone* “I’m fine…” *He let his eyes wander to you who was talking to he thinks Junhee the pregnant lady? Gi hun noticed and raised an eyebrow* “Maybe Y/n will cheer you up…..Hey y/n!”

*You raised an eyebrow nodding at Junhee before walking away up to the two men.*

“You guys need something?” *In ho sighed he’s been trying to avoid hearing your voice….and you in general.* “In ho seems nervous I thought you’d be better at calming him down…*

*As Gi hun left you leaned your back on the bars of the bed he was sitting on….he couldn’t even look at you.*

“So. What is it?” *You asked he didn’t look at you but he could tell you seemed concerned*

“……” “In ho?” “…….If somebody did something almost unforgivable in any way…..what would you do?” “……What?” *You were confused rightfully you knew he was like this but for the way he got was so….* “Just answer the question…..please.” “Well if we were close I’d….wanna know why. Depending on what they did it’s…..hard to say hey are you saying this cause you’re worried or something i understand i am too but…..don’t focus on the negative so much you know?” *As usual kind…..how could such a good human like you be in these games yet he knew…..He is the front man after all he decided to atleast “ask you” and bond maybe a bit before he has to let you go….*

“Yeah you’re right as logical as ever so why are……you in debt if you don’t mind answering?”

*He felt you rise up you stared squinting your eyes then smiling* “Damn didn’t expect anyone to ask me that….don’t think it’s important.”

*Oh he knows what it is why wouldn’t he a petty part of him felt betrayed some what you weren’t gonna tell him after how close you’ve gotten but he decided to keep his cool.*

“You don’t have to tell you i just asked since we might be leaving this place or if neither of us..make it.” *You groaned* “The pessimism again In ho? Jeez you could…..I’ll tell you though cause you do have a point.”

“Well i used to be pretty rich and well-“ *As you went into your story he already knew it but continued to listen you were rich worked in a high payed business workplace but like most work places favouritism is common. Which unfortunately lead to your downfall.* “Anyways one day I found out i was being underpayed a lot of money so I complained this and that and i got a warning complained again then got fired…..It was hard to find a job i didn’t pay the bills for a lot of things debt grew bigger and bigger then a man asked me to play a game one day and well…..here i am.” *Ah yes In ho nodded at your story he knew it all he was the person who called for you to be in the game….you were a wonderful person honestly what was he thinking you were too good for a game like this is something he of all people would never think he would say.* “Im sorry you don’t deserve to be here after all it’s not your fault you’re in debt…” *You shook your head* “Eh I didn’t have a good of a college degree anyway maybe if I studied more in college I wouldn’t be here but eh atleast i got to meet you?” *In ho sighed and he didn’t want to or realise it but he couldn’t help but let a small smile rise genuinely.* “I suppose it’s…..mutual.”

*You sighed smiling* “I can’t wait for tomorrow we’ll finally *maybe* get out of here right?” *He felt his heart stop for a second oh yeah…..that*

*He awkwardly cleared his throat* “Oh yeah I suppose this game will….end and we’ll probably never see each other again” *You snorted* “We can still talk, we can meet up together and talk and stuff it’s not like we need to forget each other…”

*”That’s right” In ho thought he needed to forget you maybe these feelings would go away….but the the thoughts came he didn’t want to but…..”I killed my brother damn it! I can do this I’ve talked to them for only a few days this is…”*

“In ho??” *He stared up at you instinctively like an animal almost he stopped himself and regained his composure.* “Jeez you seem tense maybe get some rest…” “No im…..just thinking….about all the bad decisions…..humans can make.” *You hmmd* “I suppose so humans can be evil if given the chance with such power.” *In ho nodded* “Have you ever thought of doing something regrettable?” *In ho wasn’t sure why he was asking these…..questions but maybe it was to see the inhuman side of them to make him disgusted in you? Maybe that’ll work.* “Well I’ll admit yeah…..I got bullied and when I found out there father had cancer i wanted to well bring it up tear them down….i think i was about 14.” *You didn’t seem shameful you seemed to regret it but not shamed it only made In ho admire you more as he hated it.* “So why didn’t you do anything?” *You laughed a bit* “I would of if it wasn’t for me asking my mom and telling her like i was about to do the best thing she got mad scolded me and told me a different way a better way to handle bullying……and I’ve used that advice since.”

*He quirked an eyebrow what would it be that he hasn’t heard ignore them stand up for yourself be the the bigger person?*

“Be better than them…..because bullies are the weakest of the weakest in society strategy they don’t want you knowing is you finding out you’re better then them.” *He knows that advice he’s never thought much of it but hearing it from you automatically makes him wanna know more…* “Well then your mom raised such a lovely person….you should be proud.” *You scoffed laughing a bit* “I made a lot of mistakes that i can’t even say thought of some weird stuff im glad i didn’t say or do anyways……yeah. We’re human everyone has made one bad mistake you’ll dwell on for the rest of your life my advice is well…..did you regret it?”

*In ho sighed smiling* “Thanks for the advice I’ll rest for a bit” *You got up smiling and leaving that’s it.* “Y/n you’ll always be in my memory….” *In ho didn’t know what to do with them maybe ask them to join him? No! That would be so idiotic they’d never agree….try to make them understand? Maybe let them go? Why doesn’t he want that…..he then smiled.* “I can’t wait for tomorrow y/n you’re so unpredictable maybe you could stay with me…..”

Anddddd a cliffhanger sorry if this is ooc i was halfasleep writing this 😭

[gentlemanjuniper]

If I could inject just a little positivity to the news...

Season 2 has a lot of filler and stretches out a pretty simple mystery to six episodes. That's the appeal to some, I get it. But tightness and focus was not its strong suit. I remember feeling like it wasted a ton of time on side characters and it's possible shaving the story down to 90 minutes will skim things down to its most essential beats and be stronger for it. Basically, S2 got a lot of time given to it, and this is obviously my personal opinion but I don't think it used all of it well. I think S2 itself could have been half the length simply by employing more efficient storytelling and we'd not mourn too much.

A lot of S2's weaker plotlines feel built around people that Neil wanted to work with again, with so many recurring actors (I'm thinking of the zombies specifically, when that minisode could have easily been tighter without them). A lot of s2 to me feels like Neil just making work for the people he likes and wants to work with and a movie has to be more accountable to things like that.

Lots of entire fandoms exist around single movies. 90 minutes is not nothing. It's enough for many, many films to tell a complete story with cute character interactions and satisfying emotional arcs, especially when A&C are the only real significant connecting threads between both seasons thus far.

I don't think there are as many loose threads that absolutely need resolving as people may be thinking. Would I like to know why Aziraphale did the '40s apology dance? Would I like to see his bookshop gun? Sure. Are either of those necessarily essential to closing out the story? I don't think so. Really, what needs resolving is the second coming and, directly connected to that, Aziraphale and Crowley's rift. To me, not knowing the story obviously, that seems super reasonable to do in 90 minutes?

I don't think anyone involved in the final season can possibly be blind to the appeal of the show being Aziraphale and Crowley over anything else. That's certainly the reason why their roles were expanded to begin with from the book and why the second season was, nominally, all about them. They also now have to pay MS and DT for appearing in a movie rather than an ensemble show, there's no way they won't be front and center. Amazon wants a show that will make money and market itself; there's a reason why all the promo material for S2 was of Crowley and Aziraphale, because people engage with that stuff, reblog it, make art that promotes the show, etc. It makes no artistic or financial sense to make a movie that sidelines them.

GO is at its best when it has Terry's voice most strongly in it. That's why to me, S2 was a weaker, more meandering season overall (that, and I think the minisodes, while fun, just make the season feel comprised of different voices not always working in tandem towards a common goal). If I was a writer hired to condense a season into a film, and one of the authors had been rightfully disgraced, I would go out of my way to ensure the clearly Terry stuff is most significantly emphasized. It's telling to me that the Pratchett estate is producing and it's possible that the end result will result in more Terry, less Neil.

Think of it this way: everything we've gotten after S1 has always been extra. Imagine telling a fan of the book in the 90s that not only will you get a six episode adaptation, you also get a totally new second season, AND a movie?

Basically: I know this is disappointing but I think a lot of the pleasure of the Good Omens fandom was ALWAYS people picking up on and expanding on details, and y'all managed to do that just fine when A&C were only ensemble members in S1. You can and will do that with a movie too. And this solution both a) ensures first and foremost that Neil won't be involved or the allegations swept under the rug, and b) gives an opportunity for the heart of the story to be emphasized with greater focus, clarity and less filler.

Will we lose good stuff? Probably. But it's also possible we will get a tighter, more condensed, focused version of the best bits, the Terry Pratchett-est bits. I can easily see a 90 minute movie that, knowing they HAVE to focus on the important stuff now, is more Crowley and Aziraphale centric than ever.

[astrxbtchs]

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ Astrology Observations II ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

✺ Pisces Mars are experts at ghosting. You guys take action in such an elusive way because you hate confrontation, or just unnecessary drama. If y’all are annoyed or feeling a way about something you don’t say anything right away and you only react when things boil over into the point where you can’t control it anymore and you explode. Then you immediately bad for getting so angry. Just work on communicating how you feel, when you feel it, sometimes other people won’t know how you feel until you express it.

✺ Mars in the 1st house synastry isn’t always as sexy and hot as people think it is. The mars person’s attraction could be so strong for the house that they come off too strong which can completely turn off the house person. (If there isn’t any other compatible synastry)

✺ The sign in your second house is usually the sign, or ones with those placements, that you feel the most possessive over.

✺ Also, the second house can explain your appetite and how you like to eat. For example, Sag risings having Capricorn in the 2nd house prefer home cooked meals over fast food. They are very strict as to what they put in their body and they won't eat just anybody's food.

✺ As of the other hand, Scorpio risings having Sag in the 2nd house go from extremes where they are either eating really healthy or just absolutely terrible. They love fast food and can tend to over indulge in these pleasures.

✺ In my opinion, 4th house synastry feels more like family or a really close friend than anything romantic (mostly just Sun and Moon) It feels almost weird to cross that line, like if you do things would turn awkward. OR if it is a romantic connection the planet person may have more feelings than the house person does.

✺ I will stand by this but 6th house synastry is SOOOO underrated!!! If you are looking for a long-term relationship with someone having personal planets here will really help the relationship last. Especially when Sun is there it’s almost like there is a never a dull moment and each and every day you guys are never get bored of one another. Venus here it’s like you guys find pleasure doing the small things together the most. You would even be happy doing things like grocery shopping with them, stopping by at your job to give you flowers, and makes living together very easy. Mars in ones 6th house is sending them to do things, and them not minding at all, they love to make you happy by doing things for you.

I do feel like moon in 6th house synastry would be a bit aggravating. Feeling like the person would rather intellectualize and nitpick your emotions rather than being the one to help you feel them. Almost feels as if you are being judged for any emotion you show. It might be annoying feeling like someone is constantly questioning you about how they feel or feeling like you constantly have to take on the baggage of what the other person is going through.

✺ It’s not said enough but Capricorn placements, especially mercury and Sun, are the most hilarious people ever. Their dry sense of humor and how sarcastic they are is UNMATCHED. They will say the things that other people are scared to say and you can’t help but to laugh. They have that dark humor that no other sign can replicate. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but they are so real!

✺ Pisces Mars and Pisces rising’s are the ones who are attracted to people that u would least expect them to be with. Or they are attracted to the “bad boy” or the one people tell them to stay away from

✺ Sag rising don’t age! No matter how old they are they have this glow about them and always look so youthful.

✺ Aquarius and Sag Venus’ really don’t have a type. They just love someone who makes them happy and they can go adventures with . These people are attracted to cerebral people and anyone who can really expand their mind. You often hear these people say “I like who I like” or “I just love, love”. This could change if there is some Capricorn energy in the chart which could make someone value a more traditional approach to this fun loving placement.

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ Thank you guys for making it to the end of my post! ♥️if you have any experience with any of these placements/synastry above please comment down below your experience! I would love to hear you guys’ feed back. Please keep in mind these are just my personal opinions take everything with a grain of salt. Love youusss💋 ♡

[lvlybin]

ain't you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch?

summary   ༝༚༝༚ … ZB1 & princess treatment

preferences ! ૮ ྀི◞ ⸝⸝ ◟ ྀིა    ۫  ੭̲    제비스 x 𝓯!reader ⊹ cw none ( library )

✉️ sorry for kind of disappearing! I’m back to writing and I’m finishing up some works to post soon. I was cleaning out my drafts and found this <3 hope y’all enjoy

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓙iwoong ﹙𝓴.﹚ㅤ

tries his best to be domestic with you

Being in love with Jiwoong is like something out of a fairytale. He is truly such a genuine and innocent person that your well-being and happiness is always his priority. And with those things in mind, it’s almost second nature for him to be domestic with you, at least, to the best of his abilities. Princess treatment to him is pampering you to the fullest and making you feel like you might as well be married to him already. Nights where he’s cooking while you’re sitting at the counter watching as he does his best to make you both a meal are a must. He’d have romantic jazz playing in the background and of course, he’s going to pour you a drink without you even having to ask. Jiwoong will do all the chores you don’t want to do: laundry, the dishes, etc. Even if you don’t live together yet, he’s constantly trying to show you why it would be such a great idea for you both to share a space. As if you don’t already know how great it would be, because he loves you more than anything else and wants to be around you all of the time.

only takes you on romantic dates

This version of princess treatment you weren’t even aware of until you were both lounging on the couch and Jiwoong says something along the lines of: “We haven’t gone on a date in a while”. And you look at him confused because you had just gone to Barnes & Noble together for practically a whole afternoon, only for him to say: “That’s not a real date”. Jiwoong only considers it a date if you’re being spoiled by going to a fancy restaurant or doing something romantic like having a picnic on the beach. While it’s nice to have little hang-outs now and then with him–going out to lunch together or running errands together, he genuinely will only have the best for you, and that includes thought-out and thoroughly planned romantic outings.

helps you get dressed

If you’re in a relationship with Jiwoong, he does not want you lifting a finger. While he’s sure you love having your independence, he can’t help but want to consistently do things for you. Including helping you get dressed. If you ask for his opinion on an outfit, he will give you it without sugarcoating. If you want him to pick out an outfit for you, he will be on his feet and picking out different things for you to try on and piece together with his help. But his favorite is without a doubt zipping up your dresses. Something about the small gesture is so intimate to him. The way he brushes your hair to the side and lets one hand rest on your waist while the other pulls the zipper up with him finally leaving a soft kiss on the nape of your neck… It makes him feel like he’s doing a good job caring for you. And the fact that you want him to do something that’s a part of your everyday routine, even if it’s getting dressed, genuinely makes him feel so included and involved with your life.

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓗ao ﹙𝔃.﹚ㅤ

will try / do anything or activity you want to do

Getting princess treatment from the princess himself is the highest privilege you could receive as his girlfriend. And necessarily, the things he does as ‘Princess Treatment’ are things he just thinks any good partner would do. So when you come running to him with a craft on TikTok you want to try or a new place you want to visit, he’s never going to say no. I think that despite being an introvert he really does enjoy trying new things and his favorite thing to do would be to try new things with you. Even if he honestly doesn’t really want to / think it doesn’t sound fun in the beginning. There have been times when you’ve mentioned something you’ve done with Hao to the other members and they’ve been in shock that he was willing to do it with you despite him saying no to doing it with them the previous day. He may pretend to complain a little, but he will ultimately do anything to see you happy.

compliments all day every day

Hao has concluded that if you’re dating him, you must love attention as much as he does. You at least have to know that you’re just as pretty, if not more, as him. He wants to see you blossom, to see your confidence grow when you’re with him, so he gives you as much of his attention as possible–and that includes compliments upon compliments. They start small so he can get you used to receiving such a large amount in a day, but once you’ve gotten past the stage when you blush shyly and muster a small “Thank you”, he’s praising you in practically every sentence he speaks. Whether he's saying that you did something well, that he likes your hair that day, or randomly mentioning how funny or kind you are–he’s making sure you know how special you are. In fact, he’s started challenging himself to see how many synonyms of Beautiful he can use on you every day.

loves doing your makeup and skincare, lets you practice your makeup skills on him too

It’s no secret that Hao loves taking care of himself, making sure that he looks his best every day. So when you began dating him, you honestly weren’t super surprised that he extended that trait to you as well. You feel like his little doll at times, with the way that he’ll sit you on the bathroom counter in the mornings after you’ve brushed your teeth and gently push your hair back to do your skincare routine. He just wants the best for you–is what he claims as he buys hundreds of dollars worth of completely new products for you to use, saying that he knows what’s best for your skin and what will enhance your appearance the most. He’s right, of course. And if you ever tell him that you miss doing your makeup (jokingly, because who wouldn’t want him to do their makeup every day?), he’ll sit in front of you and have you do his makeup. Kind of a big deal! But even if it looks bad, he won’t tell you, because you’re his princess and he knows that you did your best :P

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓗anbin ﹙𝓼.﹚ㅤ

treats you like his wife

Everyone knows that Hanbin is the greenest flag of a man to walk this earth and when you started dating him, it was like you both completely skipped the dating stage and went right to being a married couple. He is so committed to you, it’s actually insane (once again, normal basis of a relationship, but it’s Hanbin so). I’m talking doesn’t even look at any other woman, spends the majority of his time with you, is talking about you to his parents–all of it. You are his future and he makes that clear to you. Sometimes you feel like you’ve already started along the path of becoming that rich wife who goes to pilates classes and has two well-behaved children and doesn’t have to lift a finger because with Hanbin and the way he takes care of you, marriage does seem like the only option. Your relationship is the most important thing to him, and he doesn’t hesitate to put it above everything and make sacrifices for it. Hanbin also always makes sure to check things with you first. Your opinions on his decisions matter because he already sees you as the person he wants to marry.

HUGE on flowers

When Hanbin asked you out, he brought you flowers. When you went on your first date, he brought you flowers. The day after your first date, he sent you flowers. You could honestly open a flower shop with how many bouquets he gives you on a weekly basis, not that you’re complaining. He’s the type to get you big bouquets for every date you guys go on and it’s a different flower every time. He knows your favorite flower of course, so even if the bouquet is a completely different flower than that, he’ll at least include one of your favorite flowers just because he wants to make sure that you know that he hasn’t forgotten. Hanbin also makes sure you know what each flower supposedly means, just because he thinks it’s cute. At some point, you have to ask him to tone it back a little, because he’s been getting you flowers every time he walks past a flower place and you’re worried about how much he’s spending on you. He’ll tell you not to worry because this little action he does is a way for him to express how much he loves you.

makes sure you’re safe 24/7

Your safety is something that’s always in the back of his mind. He knows you can protect and take care of yourself, but he thinks that you shouldn’t have to worry about that–that you should only be worried about what will make you happy. And you can leave everything else to him. I’m an enforcer of the ‘Hanbin buckles your seatbelt for you’ agenda because he loves taking care of people and I think that small things like that just make sense for him. It gives him peace of mind to know that you’ll be safe. The sidewalk rule is also another thing that he makes sure he does. He wants to eliminate any possibility of you being in danger and that includes watching your purse while you guys are at dinner to make sure nothing gets stolen, making sure your windows are locked before he leaves your apartment, always holding your drink, etc. Anything that may slip someone else’s mind will never get past Hanbin.

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓜atthew ﹙𝓼.﹚ㅤ

he’s the best active listener

It’s no secret that Matthew loves talking, so he knows how discouraging it can be when someone isn’t actually listening to you. And when you get comfortable around him, you don’t stop talking either. He wants you to feel comfortable, he doesn’t want that aspect to leave your relationship, so he never makes you feel bad or annoying for yapping. Matthew is genuinely happy that you feel like sharing things with him, even if it is your obscure little thoughts and he wants you to know that. He’s amazing at making you feel heard. He’s always asking small questions or making comments to show you that he was listening to everything you were saying. Even his body language–Matthew is nodding along and maintaining eye contact and actively reacting to your words. The point is, he wants to make it clear to you that your words do matter, and that you should feel comfortable talking his ear off.

has you both send little daily updates to each other

Both the updates he sends you and the ones he asks you to send him are for you. He wants you to know what he’s doing, not that you don’t trust him, but Matthew wants you to see that he’s constantly thinking about you. That you almost always have all of his attention. Plus, he likes receiving little comments from you about what he’s doing. He thinks it’s adorable. And then for you, he is truly interested in everything you do and wants to be involved. Matthew saves all of the pictures you send him (the ones you’re in) and has a little folder in his photos that’s reserved for your daily updates. Lowkey you both have separation anxiety, but he’ll never admit it. Matthew will just say that he’s giving you the attention that you deserve.

always is touching you when y’all are walking

Matthew likes physical affection and will take any scraps of touching you he can get. Including when you guys are just simply walking together. Holding your hand is nice, he likes the feeling of how small your hand is compared to his and it gets the point across to other people that you’re taken, but I think that there are other forms that he likes more. Honestly, I can see him wanting you to link your arm with his, making you feel like a princess while he carries your bags or something. He’s able to hold you closer to him and have a tighter grip on you that way as well. And he likes the feeling of you feeling up his arm even if you think that he doesn’t notice it :P He’ll guide you around with his hand on your lower back too. Steering you away from people who might get in your way and softly rubbing on the area to make sure you know that he’s there. Piggyback rides and literally just carrying you are things that he likes doing as well. In his opinion, you should be carried everywhere, so he’s happy to do so.

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓣aerae ﹙𝓴.﹚ㅤ

prioritizes you no matter what

Kind of already touched on this with Hanbin, but I feel like it fits Taerae so well. He always wants you to talk to him and feel comfortable with him because I feel like when he does fall in love and get to the point where he trusts them with everything, a lot of his life will revolve around you. Even if you don’t notice it, he’ll do all of these little things with you / for you / to you that he does for no one else, which shows how you’re the only thing on his mind. Whether that’d be clinging to you at all times, letting you talk even if he’s in the middle of explaining something, keeping the things you like and dislike in the front of his mind… Basically, his thoughts revolve around making sure you’re happy and comfortable whenever you’re with him. You always make sure that he’s both of those things, so it only makes sense that he makes you his top priority.

never lets you feel embarrassed

As mentioned before, I think that comfort is a huge part of any relationship Taerae is in. He has a hard time trusting people, so establishing that trust requires comfort and when he feels comfortable, the pampering for his partner is quick to follow. That being said, if there’s ever an instance where something happens to you in public, like you spilled something on Taerae that’ll stain or you let out an embarrassing noise, he WILL say that it was him and or cover for you. “Oh yeah, I spilled this on myself, I should be more careful”, “That was me! Sometimes my voice can get really high”, etc. He would do anything for you, and that includes maybe feeling a bit of embarrassment for you. As long as you’re okay, then he’s okay with doing anything. Sometimes he lovingly teases you, but all of his efforts are lighthearted, and if you ever appear embarrassed by his words, he’ll say that he was joking and that all of the words he’d said were made up. And god forbid someone else tries to embarrass you. Taerae has no problem with speaking up and calling people out, especially when it comes to you. He’s your number one defender and anyone that says anything bad about you or to you will end up being the humiliated one.

you’re his passenger princess

We’ve got our passenger princess victim. Willing victim, at that. Maybe I’m just obsessed with the fact that Taerae can drive, but him driving in Camp ZeroBaseOne lives rent-free in my head T-T Anyways… when you’re in his car, you’re not lifting a finger. Don’t bother with trying to open the car door, Taerae will do that for you happily, making sure you’re comfortable and your seat is the way you like it before he gets in the driver’s seat. Even before you get in his car, he’ll have already gone to get you a drink, and if it’s not the drink you wanted (which is rare because he has your drink order memorized), he’ll gladly go get you the drink you wanted no matter how much you protest. The aux is yours, he likes listening to your music more anyway, and he wants you to leave your things all over his car. Whenever anyone else gets in the passenger seat, they aren’t allowed to move your things around (hair clips, spare makeup, little knick knacks you’ve accidentally left, etc.) or Taerae will probably make them sit in the back. He wants to let everyone know he’s taken. In fact, you could probably carve your name into the passenger seat. Bro does not care!

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓡icky ﹙𝓼.﹚ㅤ

always treats you gently

Ricky is already a soft-spoken person around most people, but he usually gets louder when he’s with people he’s comfortable with / with his friends. And of course he has those moments with you, but usually, he’s treating you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. You bring out the side of him that feels the need to protect and take care of no matter your age or any other difference. He’s so so patient with you. Whenever you don’t understand something, no matter the scenario, he’ll take his time to explain it to you so you don’t feel left out, confused, or anything else. But he ALWAYS makes sure that you don’t feel like you’re bothering him by asking questions. He’s happy to help you and take care of you. And his friends have never seen him act the way he does with you around anyone else. Even though they tease him for it, they think it’s genuinely sweet how he leans closer to you and speaks in a soft voice so you’re the only one who can understand him, and how he sticks by your side with a hand gently placed on your lower back to guide you.

is TOTALLY okay with being your accessory… supports it 110%

Ricky knows that if he’s with you out and about in public, he has to look his best. Not for his own sake (kind of his own sake, he wants you to always find him attractive), but for your sake. He wants to look like he’s good enough to be your partner and he wants you to be proud that you’re dating him. Obviously, you are, and you never hesitate to tell him that, and he believes you, but he can’t help it sometimes. You know those TikToks where it’s the girl in the front of the video and her boyfriend’s standing behind her and everyone’s like “omg he’s literally your accessory”? Yeah, that’s Ricky. And the funny thing is, he’s so proud of it. He’s honored to be your “accessory,” even though you would never call him that. He insists that he’s there to make you look better, that you both look so good together that it’d be impossible for others to not look at you both and get just the tiniest bit jealous of your relationship.

surprise dates surprise dates surprise dates

Random acts of affection are important for him. They’re one of his favorite ways of showing you how much he loves you because I think Ricky is someone who believes that actions hold more meaning than words. It’s become routine for him to text you in the morning, telling you when he’s picking you up and how nice you should dress. He’s actually really good at planning things out. Ricky keeps track of when you’re free or knows what kind of date he should take you on / not take you on (how much time he has, if you have to be back for something, etc.) At first, you hated how he would surprise you with them, but eventually, you got used to it. And now, you look forward to whatever date he’s planned without the smallest amount of worry and the largest amount of trust. This ties in with Ricky’s love for being the one taking care of you, and he knows you, so he knows what activities you would enjoy and what you wouldn’t. You don’t have to lift a finger if Ricky can help it.

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓖yuvin ﹙𝓴.﹚ㅤ

takes quiet moments together

You get to see every side of Gyuvin and he gets to see every side of you. So in the moments where you don’t want to talk, needing to just sit in silence, he makes sure that you both enjoy those moments as well. And enjoying each other’s presence is so important to him. He knows it brings you a sense of peace, so he’s happy to hold you as you lay your head on his chest–scrolling on your phone or reading a book, or simply just laying there. Gyuvin can tell when you need to recharge your social battery, and therefore he’s gotten good at getting you out of situations so you can be by yourself. Or, more like be by yourself with him. He never forces you to talk to him or makes silence feel awkward. And if you don’t want to talk, but don’t want to sit in silence, he’ll just talk about random things for you to listen to. These quiet moments are important to you, but they’re also important to him, and he never hesitates to study your behavior and determine if that’s what you need right in that moment.

shopping sprees

I firmly believe that Gyuvin is the one who will take you on shopping sprees literally for fun (for him). He LOVES spoiling and spending money on you even if he doesn’t act like it. Whenever you mention you’re going shopping, he’s up on his feet in an instant and saying that he wants to come to keep you company. But then, when you actually start the shopping, he’s the one picking out clothes and jewelry and stuff for you. “Oh this would look so good on you” / “You don’t have to get it, I just want to see you try it on” / “We can keep some of these clothes with me if you don’t have the closet space”. It’s like the concept of money doesn’t exist to him when it comes to you, so be careful so much as even glancing at something because Gyuvin will be picking it up and carrying it around until it’s time to check out for you even if you insist you don’t want it. Sometimes he doesn’t even mean to get you so many things, he just thinks you look good in everything and anything and the rest of the world should be as blessed as him to see you in the clothing you try on. Also, he definitely gets you like 30 presents on your birthday.

is always posting you on his social media

Gyuvin has multiple albums in his photo app just for you: date nights, holidays, mornings, etc. He likes to go back and look at them and the pictures of you just make him so happy that he can’t help but want to share them with as many people as possible. Imagine how surprised you are when random Instagram stories or posts of you come up. You always think it’s the sweetest thing that Gyuvin wants to share your relationship with his friends through social media and that he wants to document some things in that way, but more often than not, they’re pictures you weren’t even aware he took. None of them are ever bad though? It’s a way to show you how he sees you through his eyes. The pictures are always so beautiful, and he tells you that he doesn’t even have to try to get such pretty photos–you’re just that naturally beautiful.

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓖unwook ﹙𝓹.﹚ㅤ

brags about you to everyoneeee

You being his girlfriend is one of Gunwook’s best achievements. And EVERYONE knows it too. The topic of you pops up at least once in every conversation he has, whether you’re there in person or not. He gets so proud of everything you do, no matter how big or small. In fact, you could literally wake up in the morning and he would deem that something to share with people. You can do no wrong in his eyes, and sometimes, he gets so excited over the fact that you’re his that he has to share it with people. His friends might get a little annoyed because of how often he talks about you, but he can’t help it :( He could talk about you and how amazing you are for hours and not get bored. Gunwook hasn’t told you about his love for bragging about you, but the way he looks at you when he prompts you to tell other people about the things you’ve achieved or done recently, you still get a good sense of how proud he is to be yours.

carries things around for you

This is in the sense of always having things like hair ties for you, extras of the perfume you wear in his bag, if you have some kind of medicine he has that in his bag too… It was a habit that slowly built as your guys’ relationship progressed. Gunwook would always hold things for you whenever you would go out on dates (your lipgloss) and eventually, his pockets weren’t enough for the things he would request to take from you to free up your hands to hold. So, he started carrying a bag around. It was helpful for him, sure, but he did it for you. Now, said bag is full of items that you might need on a day-to-day basis. Miniatures of your makeup, snacks that you like, everything mentioned before, and others! Gunwook loves carrying things around for you–it’s less for you to worry about and he enjoys taking care of you, even in the smallest ways.

lowkey is always matching his outfits with yours

Okay, I don’t know if this qualifies as princess treatment but… I can just see Gunwook asking you for an OOTD and then showing up in a similar outfit to yours, saying “woahhh that’s weird :3”. He loves matching with you in the smallest ways: matching jewelry, the same color scheme, the same style of pants, the same shoes. The list goes on. It’s a really easy way to let people know he’s taken and he thinks it’s just the cutest thing ever when you guys match. Matching outfits is a pretty common thing between couples and Gunwook just wants to do couple-things with you :( He’s always wanting to show you off that’s all and wanting to relate every part of his life with you. Also, the matching of the outfits happens unintentionally a lot too, which only makes him even more giddy.

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓨ujin ﹙𝓱.﹚ㅤ

you’re the only one in his eyes

You are the only girl to exist in his eyes and he makes that clear. Sometimes, you have to remind him that he can actually talk to other girls without one-word responses and looking like he’s about to cry. But he’s just such a loyal person and you receive the majority of that loyalty. Yujin’s talking to everyone about you and asking for help with anything that he doesn’t quite know how to do. He just wants to make you happy (“Hyung, what should I get YN for her birthday?” / “I found this cute place to take YN, what do you think?” >.<). Anywho, he also will most definitely let you know in every way that you’re the only one for him / the only one he’s interested in. Yujin doesn’t believe in talking stages, he’s the kind of boy who’s learned from the romcoms and will get straight to the point of telling you he likes you. Because if he likes you, then that’s kind of a big deal with him, and he’ll not want to keep anything from you.

subconsciously picks up after you / cleans up after you even if you try to help

Yujin is constantly following you around, like a second shadow, a puppy–whatever you want to call it. He copies your movements sometimes, but more often than that, he’s cleaning up after you. It’s become a second-nature kind of thing to him. If you leave a wrapper from a snack you’re eating on a counter, he’ll get up and throw it away for you without you even noticing. And if your room is a little messy and you both are hanging out, he’ll get up from your bed and just begin to put things away while he continues talking to you. It’s sweet the way he knows where everything goes and how you like your belongings. That doesn’t mean that you just let him pick things up for you, though. Obviously, you can take care of yourself and clean up your messes, but if Yujin is around, it’s rare for you to actually be able to help. In the beginning, you tried your best to insist on helping him pick up after you both had made a mess in your kitchen while baking, but instead of accepting your help, he’d told you to sit at the counter so he could still talk to you while he worked. Yujin just likes being helpful, and maybe a part of him wants to show you that he can take care of you too.

buys you anything you want

I feel like this is something he would learn from Gyuvin, but Yujin wouldn’t be as obvious about it. If you mention wanting something, he would act like you were begging him to get it for you (“Are you really gonna make me get this for you?” / “I can’t keep buying things for you, YN”) even though you hadn’t even said anything about even buying it in the first place. Much less having him purchase it for you. Literally gives the “fine, *eye roll*, whatever” energy, but in a teasing way. Yujin doesn’t like making things easy for you, one of his love languages is teasing, but in the end, he wants to make you happy. And that includes the little things and pampering you by getting you small gifts. This treatment is most common with food or drinks. He would get you a snack before seeing you and then pretend that it was completely a coincidence: “They just happened to have your favorite drink at the vending machine too. Super weird” even though there’s only one convenience store that has that beverage so you know he went out of his way to get it for you :,)

[hyperfixatinator]

Where is the line?

In the comics, Tim Drake's moral code is an enigma to me, particularly his stance on the Batclan's no-kill rule. For all the fans who say he's always one step away from full blown villainy, there are even more saying he's a strict goody two-shoes who could never stoop that low.

Then there's the different takes on where Tim draws the line between these two extremes. Personally, I find that line hard to pinpoint. Digging for canon demonstrations of his morals has lead me to more questions than answers. My biggest question right now is:

What counts as breaking the no-kill rule in Tim's eyes?

Luckily, the Robins 2021 comics shed some light on this. In issue #3, "Tim", or rather an imposter of him, said that choosing not to save someone isn't the same as killing them, and that letting a villain die can be a way to get justice. Normally, this point would be moot since it's not Tim himself who said it. However, at the end of issue #6, the real Tim clarified that what the imposter said WAS his real opinion on the matter.

Not only that, but Tim has shown this belief through his thoughts and actions before. Twice.

The first time goes all the way back to Robin 1991 #5. During the fight against King Snake, Tim kicked him through a nearby window, fifty stories above the ground. As King Snake's life hung in the balance, Shiva appeared and commanded Tim to kill him.

Tim refused. He walked away, leaving King Snake entirely at Shiva's mercy.

What gets me is that Tim made no move to save King Snake from falling. And he made no effort to stop Shiva from committing the murder, either. His only thought as he heard the man's scream was "Fifty stories is a long way to fall."

The second time was in Red Robin 2009 #26. Tim orchestrated a whole plan to manipulate Captain Boomerang into getting killed by Mr. Freeze. The whole time, Tim blamed Captain Boomerang for making all those bad choices, despite Tim being the one raising the chances of them being made. Tim believed he was innocent because he wasn't directly participating.

Tim then stopped that plan, but not for any noble reason. He decided that he couldn't let anyone else kill Captain Boomerang but himself.

Tim couldn't bring himself to do that, either. So he had to spare his father's killer in the end.

This seems pretty cut and dry so far, right? Tim believing that letting villains die is alright as long he doesn't do the deed himself? I'd think so too, if there weren't other moments contradicting this.

In Robin #35, Steph insisted on leaving an enemy who got buried under the snow to die. Tim chastised her for it.

Neither of them were responsible for the snow, or for the enemy getting trapped in it. Plus, that guy tried to kill them with a chainsaw moments prior, so he's not exactly an innocent damsel in distress.

Maybe it was because this enemy wasn't a big enough fish to fry. We didn't really get confirmation that this guy has actually killed before, and he's around goon status at best.

But then in Robin #46, Tim chose to save another enemy who got himself into a deadly situation. That enemy was a murderer known as Young El. This time, Tim wasn't telling anyone else why they should save a murderer's life out loud. These were his private thoughts.

Notice how Tim's inner monologue sounded kind of on-the-fence. He contemplated justice finally catching up with Young El as the floorboards gave way, bringing a support beam down on him in the process.

However, Tim immediately switched gears to rescue Young El from under that beam before the water rose too high.

But Tim, as he told Young El the reasons he's saving him, asked himself "Do I even believe what I'm saying?" He could be asking this about two different things he said here. A) "Maybe it's not too late for you to learn something, Young El.", or B) "Death's easier for you when it's the other guy. Death's never been easy for me."

For Tim to doubt his belief in either of these statements is very interesting. He could be questioning if Young El is already too far gone for redemption, or he could be questioning if seeing someone die has never been easy for himself. For all we know, it could be both.

Unfortunately, Tim never got to see if his choice to save him would pay off. Tim wasn't strong enough to lift that beam, and Young El drowned.

There's a question on my mind as I read these pages. What makes this murderer's death different from when Tim let King Snake fall to his "death"? Sure, King Snake didn't actually die, but Tim didn't know that until later when the man came looking for revenge in Gotham.

Tim was once able to simply walk away from what he was certain would be a killer's demise. But then he's consumed by guilt over not being able to prevent a different killer's death down the line, to the point of hallucinating.

On top of that, what changed Tim's mind later? Red Robin #26 and Robins 2021 #3-6 still happened in the future. The only significant difference I can tell is that these two comics involved the killer's of Tim's parents, making it personal. But if the Imposter from Robins 2021 got his beliefs from his profile before his mother's killer got involved, then does that still hold up?

Maybe we should put a pin on it for now. There are other things Tim's done that brings the details of his no-kill rule into question.

Such as that one time Tim actually killed someone with his bare hands.

In Robin issues #51-52, Tim accidentally killed Lady Shiva while drugged on amarilla, a plant that enhances the user's speed beyond human limitations.

It may be argued if the amarilla altered Tim's mind enough to excuse him of fault or not. However, I want to focus on what happened after Shiva was revived. Here's another question to go with the first one:

Does Tim believe the kill still counts if the victim was revived afterwards?

From what I've gathered, yes and no. It's kind of complicated.

After Tim killed Shiva, he was understandably distressed about it, about how he can never take it back.

But after Shiva came back to life? Nothing. He didn't dwell on the fact he broke the vow to never kill. For something that devastating to happen in his life, it's odd that Tim didn't bring it up ever again, privately or otherwise. Especially considering what happened later in Robin #123, when Tim thought he killed Johnny Warlock.

Tim was utterly inconsolable. He lost all faith in his abilities as Robin, and in himself as a whole. It also contributed to his decision to quit being Robin after his dad found out. In general, he seriously dwelled on that "kill" for a much longer time than he had after killing Shiva. The difference being that he knew Shiva was resuscitated immediately afterwards, while Tim didn't know Johnny survived until issue #141.

But there's the fact that Shiva really did die. Her heart and breathing both stopped. So are we to believe Tim moved on from that so easily because she's alive now? What happened to never getting that back?

Come to think of it, not long after Tim killed and revived Shiva, there was someone else who landed in that same boat. Dick.

In Joker: The Last Laugh #6, Dick brutally attacked the Joker after believing he killed Tim. Dick ended up accidentally killing Joker instead, before the clown was resuscitated.

Here's the thing. While Tim was trying to comfort Dick, saying that it's ok because Joker's alive now, Dick didn't believe so. He was still distraught that he killed someone. The fact Joker came back to life afterwards didn't matter to him. To Dick, it still counted. So what does that say about Tim?

Before we move on, there's another person Tim knows who also died and came back from the grave. Jason.

Tim openly acknowledged Jason was killed before coming back, too. Multiple times. For example, when they met up in Red Hood and the Outlaws 2011 #8.

Tim hadn't shown any signs that he thinks Jason's murder doesn't count anywhere, except for maybe once.

In Knight Terrors: Robin #2, Tim and Jason had a heart-to-heart, and Tim said something strange.

"You survived."

Except Jason didn't survive. He died. To say Jason survived that night would've meant he never died to begin with. Him being alive now doesn't change that. Was this Tim telling a white lie to make Jason feel better? Or does Tim see being revived after death as "surviving"?

Ok, now we can move onto the next question. Or rather, bear with me as we go back to the first question. It's a broad topic with plenty more to talk about.

What does Tim count as breaking the no-kill rule?

We already asked how Tim feels about bringing villains back from the dead after killing them. And we asked how Tim feels about leaving a villain to die without getting directly involved. However, we still don't know how much involvement Tim needs to have in an enemy's death before he'll take responsibility for it.

We can confirm he won't mercy kill in Red Robin #21, even if it means giving someone a fate worse than death. No exceptions.

Tim also doesn't allow anyone he's actively teaming up with to kill, especially if he's the one in command. He's been amicable with known killers before (Huntress and Pru, for example), but only when they remain non-lethal while working alongside him.

Apart from that, though, it becomes less clear. However, I think this is a good place to expand on when Tim blew up a lot of League of Assassins bases in Red Robin #8.

I'm not going into whether or not those explosions actually killed anyone. I've seen evidence supporting both sides of this debate, so I'm just going to say it's up to interpretation. What I AM talking about is whether or not Tim would've felt responsible if they had killed someone.

Before overloading every generator in the LOA database, Tim gave a warning to the Wanderer. He told her that he couldn't be held responsible for what would happen to her if she didn't leave.

After initiating the explosions, Tim warned the White Ghost that they had fifteen seconds to leave before it was too late.

Fifteen seconds. That explanation on the mistake of letting him in might've taken roughly another fifteen to twenty seconds. Did the other bases even get a full minute head start? The way some of the people were already running away could imply they at least got a warning, but it's possible they might not have.

Even if everyone in every base received a warning, would that be enough for Tim to avoid holding himself accountable if they didn't make it out in time? Tim's the one who rigged the bases to explode, but I guess giving someone a warning means it's now their fault for not heeding it?

We can't be sure he even considered the possibility of those explosions killing anyone. Tim knew they were dangerous enough to bring the whole Cradle down, and the other ones we saw looked pretty powerful (except the ones in Ra's hideout). But Tim also called Ra's a murderer right after that happened, which would've been very hypocritical if Tim himself thought he committed murder.

So, my guess is either A) Tim relied on sheer luck for those explosions not causing any casualties and chose to believe they hadn't, or B) Tim didn't believe the deaths of anyone caught in them would be his fault.

Again, this isn't about whether or not blowing up the LOA bases killed anyone. It's about how willing Tim was to take that risk, and if he would've blamed himself for anyone getting killed from it.

Either way, it's canon that Tim had no guilt for the explosions he caused, or for anything he did before Red Robin #22. Just ask the Sword of Sin.

This is an exerpt I got from the Fandom DC Database on the Sword of Sin:

"The Sword of Sin can be ignited with the mind of the wielder, if the person is powerful enough. The sword has the ability to conjure in the mind its victims all of the sins for which they are guilty or have not atoned for."

When Tim was stabbed with this sword, he was immune. The Sword of Sin decided he was innocent. Although, I have to ask how reliable this sword was in making that judgement. If the sword is judging others based on its own set principles, then something's not right here.

The Sword of Sin was also used on Dick, and he wasn't immune. It dug into Dicks subconscious and unearthed memories he'd long since repressed. Memories of himself watching a boy get beaten to near death, and then doing nothing. He just walked away.

Now, tell me why the sword brought this to light, but not the time Tim left King Snake to die!

It wasn't an accident. Tim deliberately chose to leave instead of trying to save this man from the murderous Lady Shiva. Sure, Tim was no match for Shiva and he might've not been able to stop her, but the same could be said for an eight year old Dick not stopping a group of much older kids. Neither of them tried to stop the attackers.

Tim didn't atone for it, either. When King Snake returned in Batman #469, Bruce told King Snake that it wasn't Tim who left him to die. We know that's a lie, but Tim never corrected this. He let Shiva take all the blame.

We have two instances of a boy choosing not to prevent someone from having a near death experience. One guilty, and one innocent.

Did the Sword of Sin think Tim was justified because King Snake was corrupt? That doesn't sound holy to me.

Was it because Tim didn't feel any guilt over it, while Dick did? Can the sword's judgement be thrown off by the victim not feeling any shred of guilt over their actions, even subconsciously?

That could make sense given what we know Tim did in the past: King Snake falling, the vandalism (explosions), and ALL the lying over the years (Tim reviving Shiva might count as atonement, so I'm not including that). If the sword based its judgement on God's will alone, then odds are high it would've picked up on one of these.

Even so, I'm not going to sit here and say this is definitely the case. I'm not familiar enough with how the sword effects other characters to make that call.

If this is indeed false, then did the DC universe's version of God decide to pardon Tim of his sins when he prayed earlier that same issue, despite him not believing he had any? I mean, who knows, right?

You can probably see why there's more questions than answers. The point is Tim didn't have any guilt for the things he did before Red Robin #22. Tim was canonically convinced he had nothing to atone for.

So then why did he say the opposite later in Knight Terrors: Robin #2?!

In the heart-to-heart between Tim and Jason, Tim tells him this:

"You have a lot to atone for...We all do..."

Tim knows that the words "we all" include him, right? By saying this, Tim admitted to also having things he needs to atone for, right?

Is this another white lie to make Jason feel better? Is it one of those slight changes the New 52 made to the canon? If not, then why did he change his mind? Did his no-kill rule change and make him feel guilty for some past actions? Is it not the no-kill rule, but something else?

What changed?!

Where does Tim draw the line?

I don't know. We've narrowed it down to a general area, but it's kinda hard to see a line when it's so blurred it could be a gradient.

Tim baffles me. He acts as a steady moral compass for others when he can't even seem to stay consistent with his own. You're free to call it poor writing (and honestly, fair), but I find his hypocrisy fascinating.

That's what it is, isn't it? Tim's a hypocrite who's completely oblivious to being one. And it's not like this was never mentioned in the comics before. Damian called him out on it!

In Batman & Robin 2011 #10, Damian confronted Tim about his near-murderous reaction when Fist Point killed Artemis (Teen Titans Vol 4 annual #1). Damian then accused Tim of constantly rejecting him because they have more in common than Tim's willing to admit.

It's debatable how accurate that accusation was, but Tim had a pretty volatile reaction to it.

"I believe in every choice I make!"

Does he? I don't think someone who's so sure of what he believes in would contradict himself to this extent. Especially if he wasn't doing it on purpose.

He wouldn't vehemently push Bruce's no-kill rule onto others and berate them for bending that rule, only to go and bend that same rule himself when the Batclan isn't around. He also wouldn't exploit what he thinks are loopholes, decide later that those loopholes broke the no-kill rule, and then earnestly claim he never broke it.

Why is he like this?! He's had arguably the most normal childhood out of the whole Batclan before becoming Robin! What could've made him so fickle about this?!

Where does he draw the line? And how will he know when he's crossed it?

[p0orbaby]

Skeletons

summary: aitana has a secret that you’re reluctant to keep, but you do, because having her in private is better than not having her at all

warnings: angst, closeted relationship

a/n: inspired by this request ! fyi i’m not a massive fan of the ending so if you think it’s bad then your opinion is valid

word count: 4.9k

-

It’s been a long day, another day of tactical meetings and drills, the weight of another training session at Barça hanging heavy on your body. You sit beside Aitana in the lounge of her flat—everything pristine but minimal, almost impersonal, as if she's never spent enough time here to give it a real life. No personal touch to the decor, just basic furniture. A lamp that looks like it was picked because it was there and not because it meant anything. The kind of living space of someone who only ever comes home to sleep, or maybe to avoid something else. You think you know what that something else is, or maybe it’s just a suspicion that’s been gnawing at you for years, a quiet terror lodged deep in the center of you, almost as if it's waiting for something to happen. You’re pretty sure it's always been there.

You notice how she sits too close, legs curled beneath her on the sofa, leaning into you in that way she always does when she’s not really aware of it. Aitana’s always been like that—too close, too warm, her casual touches like a silent scream at the back of your mind—her fingers brushing your arm, her shoulder pressing lightly into yours, her laughter soft and private, like you’re the only one who could ever understand the joke, like she trusts you with something that’s too big for either of you to say out loud. It’s a proximity that drives you insane, but you’ve learned to live with it because there’s never been another option. Not really. Not when every look, every smile, every stupid moment of her being this…close keeps you on a knife's edge between bliss and misery.

She looks at you now with those eyes that you’ve memorised, those soft brown eyes that never stop searching, like she’s always trying to find the right words but can never quite get there. It’s a little terrifying, the way she looks at you sometimes. Like you’re the answer to something she hasn't quite plucked up the courage to ask yet.

“I’m glad you came over,” she says, her voice softer than usual, like she's thinking about something more serious but doesn't want to show it. Her hand is on your arm again, a casual thing, but it’s not casual, not to you. It hasn’t been casual for years.

You nod, biting back whatever sarcastic response you might’ve thrown out, because this—this moment feels like a delicate thread, as if one wrong move could break it. And you don’t want to break it. God, you don’t want to break it.

“Of course, I came over. You needed me, right?” you say, forcing a lightness into your voice that feels false, but you’re so used to this performance. It’s second nature. Being near her and pretending like it’s normal when your heart is pounding loud enough to deafen you.

“Yeah,” she says, but there’s something under that single word, something unsure. She leans back into the sofa cushions, and you feel the shift, the weight of her thigh brushing yours, your heart picking up speed even as you try to ignore it. You look at her, and she’s staring at the floor now, like she’s trying to figure something out but can’t bring herself to say it.

You’ve never been good with silence, not between the two of you, not when it feels like this, charged and dangerous, and you almost say something—anything—to break it, but she beats you to it.

“I’ve been thinking,” she says, her voice quiet, her gaze still on the floor. She shifts, her fingers tightening slightly on your arm, and your chest clenches, that familiar wave of something crashing over you. “About…stuff”

The vagueness of it should annoy you, but it doesn’t. Not when her voice sounds like this. Not when her whole body feels tense, like she’s holding something back.

“What kind of stuff?” you ask, keeping your tone casual, keeping the panic buried deep where it belongs. You can’t show it. You can’t let her see how much this is affecting you, how much every word out of her mouth feels like it could unravel you.

She finally looks up at you, and there’s something different in her eyes. Something you haven’t seen before, or maybe you’ve seen it a hundred times but you’ve never let yourself believe it could be real. Her gaze holds yours for a moment, and then she looks away again, biting her bottom lip like she’s nervous.

It’s not a look you see from Aitana often. She’s usually so sure of herself, so confident, even when she’s being quiet, even when she’s being thoughtful. But this—this feels different. She’s fidgeting now, her fingers tapping lightly against her knee, and you can’t help but watch her, trying to figure out what’s going on in her head, trying not to let yourself hope. Because hope is dangerous. Hope is a trap you’ve fallen into too many times, and every time you climb out of it, it feels like it just leaves you more bruised.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about,” she says, and her voice is so soft now, so fragile. It’s like she’s terrified of what she’s about to say, and that terrifies you because Aitana is never terrified.

You swallow hard, your mouth suddenly dry. “What’s up?” you ask, trying to sound calm, even though your heart is racing and there’s a knot forming in your stomach.

She hesitates for a moment, and then she reaches up, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, a nervous habit you’ve seen a thousand times but never thought much about until now, when everything about her feels heightened, like you’re seeing her for the first time all over again.

“I…” She stops, her voice faltering, and then she takes a deep breath, forcing the words out like they’ve been stuck inside her for too long. “I think I might like someone”

Your chest tightens. This is it. The moment you’ve always dreaded. The moment where she tells you about some guy—some random guy she’s fallen for, the guy she’s going to love the way you wish she would love you.

“Oh,” you say, and it comes out flat, empty. You don’t trust yourself to say anything else.

But she doesn’t look at you. Not yet. Her fingers are still tapping against her knee, her eyes still fixed somewhere just past your shoulder.

“It’s… weird,” she continues, her voice wavering, and now she’s biting her lip again, harder this time, and you can see the tension in her jaw. “Because I didn’t think I’d ever feel like this about…a girl”

Your heart stops. You freeze. Every part of you goes still as her words sink in, slow and heavy, like they’re not quite real. Like they can’t be real.

But she’s still talking, her voice shaky, her eyes finally meeting yours, and you can see the vulnerability there, the uncertainty, the fear that she’s saying something wrong, something that’s going to ruin everything. And suddenly you’re not breathing, not thinking, not doing anything except sitting there, staring at her, because what else can you do? What can you say when the thing you’ve wanted for so long is suddenly, inexplicably, in front of you?

“I don’t know what to do,” she whispers, and now her hand is resting on your arm again, her fingers brushing your skin in a way that feels deliberate, feels like more than just a casual touch.

And you—God, you don’t know what to do either. You don’t know how to breathe, how to think, how to process what’s happening. Because this—this moment—is something you’ve imagined a thousand times in your head, something you’ve dreamed about but never really believed would happen.

But it is happening. Right now. Right in front of you.

You blink, your throat tight, your mind a mess of thoughts that don’t make any sense, and she’s still looking at you, still waiting for you to say something, do something, anything. But you can’t. You can’t because you’re terrified that if you move, if you speak, if you do anything, this moment will shatter and you’ll wake up and it’ll all be gone.

So you sit there, frozen, staring at her, trying to understand how you got here, trying to understand what this means, trying to understand her—Aitana, your best friend, the girl you’ve been in love with for what feels like forever.

And she’s looking at you like she’s scared. Scared of what you’ll say, scared of what you’ll do. But more than that, she looks scared of herself, of what she’s feeling. You can see the uncertainty in her eyes, the way she’s still not sure if this is okay, if she’s okay, if liking you—wanting you—is something she’s allowed to want.

“I’m scared,” she says softly, and it breaks you because Aitana doesn’t get scared. She’s brave. She’s fearless. She’s everything you’ve always wanted to be. And now she’s sitting here, vulnerable and uncertain, and you don’t know how to help her because you’re still trying to figure out how to help yourself.

But then she looks at you again, her eyes searching yours, and something shifts. Something clicks into place. And before you can stop yourself, before you can think about what you’re doing, you reach out and take her hand, your fingers lacing with hers, warm and steady and real.

“I’m here,” you say, your voice quiet but firm. “I’m not going anywhere”

And for the first time in what feels like forever, she smiles, just a little. A small, tentative smile, but it’s enough. It’s everything.

-

It starts slowly, like all dangerous things do. A late-night text that pulls you back to her place after training, her fingertips brushing your hand on the walk back from the gym, a lingering glance that lasts just a second too long when she thinks no one’s paying attention. You both fall into it like gravity’s pulling you, and for a while, it’s enough. Enough to have her behind closed doors, enough to know that, at least in those quiet moments between just the two of you, she’s yours.

But it’s also nothing like what you’d imagined all those years, lying in your own bed staring at the ceiling, wondering what it’d be like to have her next to you for real. It’s not perfect—it can’t be, not when everything has to be hidden. You’re still her best friend in public, the girl she spends all her time with, the girl who knows her better than anyone else. But not the girl she kisses when the cameras aren’t flashing, not the girl she pulls close when no one’s looking.

Those moments belong only to the nights when her guard is down, when her walls crumble and she lets you in, just for a few hours. It’s messy, but you’ve always known it would be. Aitana is nothing if not a contradiction—so sure of herself on the pitch, so certain of what she wants when it comes to football, but with this—with you—she’s hesitant. Insecure, even, and it’s a side of her you’re still learning how to navigate.

It’s late one night after another exhausting match, and she’s already taken her shower, her hair damp against the pillow as you lie beside her. Her apartment smells faintly of eucalyptus from the diffuser she never turns off, and the air between you feels heavy, like it always does after sex. Like there’s something unsaid just hanging there, but neither of you is brave enough to say it.

She’s resting her head on your chest, one arm draped lazily across your stomach, her fingers tracing absent patterns against your skin. And for a moment, everything is perfect. Just her and you, tangled together in her too-big bed, your bodies sore but comfortable in the way that only comes with familiarity. You feel her breath against your neck, steady and soft, and you close your eyes, trying to commit every second of this to memory. These are the moments you live for now.

But then she speaks, her voice low and hesitant, and you know what’s coming before she even says it.

“You know we can’t tell anyone, right?” Her fingers stop moving, and she lifts her head to look at you, her expression unreadable in the dim light. “Not yet”

It’s not the first time she’s said it, and it won’t be the last. You’ve had this conversation before, too many times to count. But each time, it feels like a fresh wound, like she’s cutting into you all over again with that same blunt blade. You want to tell her that it hurts, that it tears you apart every time she introduces you to someone as “just a friend” or dodges questions about her love life in interviews, leaving you wondering what it would feel like to be acknowledged, even just once.

But you don’t say that. You won’t. Because you know she’s scared. Scared of what it means, scared of what people will say, scared of admitting to herself that she’s not the person she thought she was. And you love her too much to push her. So instead, you nod, keeping your voice steady even though your chest feels like it’s caving in.

“Yeah, I know”

She sighs in relief, dropping her head back to your chest, her body relaxing against yours again. And just like that, the conversation is over. She’s yours again—for now, at least.

But there are moments, moments when the secret feels too heavy, too suffocating, and you don’t know how long you can keep carrying it without cracking under the pressure. It happens one day after a game, when the whole team goes out to celebrate a win, and you’re sitting at the bar, nursing a beer and trying to keep your distance. Because that’s what you do now. You keep your distance. You stay just close enough to be there for her, but never close enough to make anyone suspicious.

Aitana’s across the room, talking with a group of teammates, laughing at something Alexia says, and for a second, it’s like she forgets you’re even there. She’s in her element, charming and confident, the version of herself you’ve always admired. And when someone asks her about dating—probably joking, probably not thinking twice about it—you watch her laugh it off, deflecting like she always does.

“No, I’m not seeing anyone,” she says, so casually, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Like you don’t exist. Like the nights you’ve spent together, wrapped up in each other, mean nothing.

It hits you harder than it should. Harder than it ever has before. And you know it’s not fair to feel like this—it’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to you. You knew what this was when you started, knew that it wasn’t going to be easy. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

You drain the rest of your beer, the bitterness burning your throat, and get up to leave before anyone notices. Before she notices. You can’t sit there and watch her laugh and flirt with other people, pretending like she’s not going to go home with you tonight. Pretending like she’s not yours.

When you’re halfway to the door, you feel her hand on your arm, and you stop, turning to face her. She looks up at you, her expression soft, her eyes wide and questioning.

“Where are you going?” she asks, her voice low enough that no one else can hear. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

“I’m tired,” you say, not bothering to hide the edge in your voice. “I think I’ll head home”

Aitana frowns, her hand still on your arm, like she’s not ready to let you go yet. Like she can feel the shift, the tension simmering just beneath the surface. “I thought we’d—”

“I know,” you cut her off, not wanting to hear it. Not wanting to hear her try to make this okay when it’s not. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

You pull away from her, walking out into the cool night air, your heart pounding in your chest. You need space. You need air. You need time to remember why you’re doing this, why you’re putting yourself through this, why you keep coming back to her even when it hurts.

And later, when you’re lying in your own bed, staring up at the ceiling again, you remind yourself of all the reasons why. The way she looks at you when no one’s watching. The way she holds you close at night, like she’s afraid you’ll disappear. The way she whispers your name in the dark, her voice soft and vulnerable in a way it never is around anyone else.

She’s worth it, you tell yourself. She’s worth the pain, the hiding, the pretending. Because you have her. Maybe not in the way you always dreamed, but you have her.

-

It’s an away game in Seville, the kind where the atmosphere is tense but electric, the city vibrating with the weight of the upcoming match. The hotel isn’t much, just another chain where the carpets smell faintly of stale cigarettes and overuse. You’re in one of those rooms that looks exactly the same as all the others, sterile and impersonal—off-white walls, a single window overlooking the car park, a television bolted to the wall like an afterthought. But right now, none of that matters.

Aitana’s there with you, her back pressed against the cheap headboard, her hair a tangled mess around her face. She’s just come out of the shower, skin still damp and smelling like hotel soap, and there’s something reckless in her eyes tonight, something unspoken simmering between you both. There’s always been that quiet, dangerous tension with her, like you’re both walking a line neither of you knows how to stay on.

You hadn’t planned for this. Maybe you never plan for it. It’s just a hunger that’s become second nature, something that overtakes you both when you’re alone together, something neither of you can resist. Her lips had found yours the moment the bathroom door clicked shut behind you, the match tomorrow the last thing on either of your minds. You’re supposed to be resting, supposed to be saving your energy for the game, but there’s always this with her, this fever that takes over when you’re in the same room.

It doesn’t take long before you’re pulling her close, her fingers digging into your back, her breath hot against your neck as you press her against the mattress. The room feels like it’s spinning, like it’s just you and her and nothing else matters. And the noise—God, you can’t help the sounds she makes when you touch her, the way she bites back a moan, then gives up, letting it out like a release of all the tension she’s been holding in. The bed creaks beneath you, too loud in the silence of the hotel, but neither of you care. It’s too late to care.

You lose track of time. You lose track of everything except the feel of her beneath you, the way her body responds to yours, the way she whispers your name like it’s the only word she knows. And for that stretch of time—however long it is—she’s yours, wholly and completely. There’s no team, no match, no world outside this room. It’s just her, and you, and the way she looks at you when she lets her guard down, when she lets herself need you.

But then there’s a knock at the wall, followed by a muffled voice that snaps you both back to reality. You freeze, still half-entangled with her, your breath ragged, your heart pounding.

“Oye! Quiet down in there!” someone yells through the wall. The voice is too familiar—Pina, or maybe Patri—it doesn’t matter who it is. The point is, they’ve heard. The walls are paper-thin, you realise, and you hadn’t exactly been discreet.

You scramble off her, untangling yourself from the sheets, and for a moment, the only sound is your own breathing, loud in the sudden silence. Aitana’s eyes are wide, her face flushed, her bare chest rising and falling rapidly, and you can see the panic starting to creep in. Not panic because they know—no, they don’t know who she is. Panic because they think it’s just another random hookup. Another girl you picked up on a whim.

There’s another knock, louder this time, more insistent. “We get it! You’ve got company,” someone calls, laughing now, their voice tinged with amusement. “Didn’t know you’d have a guest tonight”

You let out a breath, already slipping into the familiar role. The one where you play it off like this is nothing. Like this is just another night, just another girl. You’ve done it so many times before—it’s a routine at this point. The jokes, the teasing, the knowing looks from your teammates when they hear about another one of your so-called conquests. It’s all part of the act, the persona you’ve built to cover for what’s really going on.

You flash a quick smile at Aitana, hoping to reassure her, but the look she gives you is anything but reassured. It’s tight, like she’s barely holding it together. You ignore it for now, your mind racing for the right thing to say.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry about that,” you call back, trying to keep your voice light, casual, like you’re not lying through your teeth. “I’ll keep it down. Promise”

There’s more laughter from the other side of the wall, some muttered jokes about your reputation, about your ‘lucky night,’ but eventually it quiets down. They’re not going to press you. They never do. You’ve always been able to laugh it off, always been able to make it seem like none of it matters.

But when you turn back to Aitana, you see the way her eyes have gone dark, her face tight with something that looks like pain, like anger. She’s pulling the sheets up around her, suddenly closed off, like she’s trying to build a wall between you both.

“You okay?” you ask, your voice low, tentative. You reach for her, but she pulls away, sitting up straighter, wrapping the sheet tighter around herself.

There’s a heaviness to the air that wasn’t there before, a weight that settles between the two of you. It’s in the way she’s breathing—slow, measured—like she’s thinking too hard, like she’s bracing herself for something. You glance over at her, half-expecting her to meet your gaze with that teasing smile she always gives after moments like this, but her face is turned toward the ceiling, eyes wide and distant, her lips pressed into a thin line.

“Aitana?” you say softly, your voice barely cutting through the thick quiet. You can feel the tension in your chest start to coil, tight and uneasy.

She doesn’t respond right away, and when she finally does, her voice is quieter than you expect, almost tentative, like she’s not sure how to say what’s on her mind. “You didn’t have to do that,” she says, still staring up at the ceiling, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on the sheet.

You frown, sitting up a little, trying to make sense of what she means. “Do what?”

“Cover for me.” She says it so softly, like it’s a secret, like it’s something she’s ashamed of, but not in the way you’re used to. Not the shame of being found out. This is different, quieter, heavier. “I know why you did it, but… you didn’t have to”

You blink, thrown off for a second. “You mean… when they knocked on the wall?”

She nods, slowly, her eyes finally drifting from the ceiling to meet yours. There’s something in her eyes that makes your heart drop, something that feels like guilt, but not the kind that comes from getting caught. It’s the kind that lingers, the kind that’s been building for a while.

“I know it’s stupid,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper now, her fingers still moving in that absent way across the sheets, like she’s trying to distract herself from what she’s saying. “I know it’s just how it is. But… when you said that, when you acted like it was someone else, it just—it felt wrong”

You can feel your chest tighten, the words sinking in, slow and heavy. You want to tell her that you had to, that it’s how you’ve always handled it, that you were just trying to protect her. But the way she’s looking at you now, her eyes soft but resolute, makes you pause. She’s not angry. She’s not hurt, not the way you thought she might be. She’s just… sad. Sad that you feel like you need to keep pretending, like you need to keep covering for her.

“I didn’t think it’d bother you,” you say, and it sounds like an excuse as soon as it leaves your mouth, even though it’s the truth. You’ve done this so many times before, played it off like it’s nothing. It’s always been your way of protecting her, of protecting what the two of you have.

“I know you didn’t.” She sits up then, pulling her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them as she looks at you. Her hair falls over her face, messy and damp, and she brushes it aside absently, not really paying attention to it. “But that’s the thing. You shouldn’t have to. Not anymore”

There’s a beat of silence, the words hanging in the air between you. You sit up straighter, searching her face, trying to understand exactly what she’s saying. You’ve had this conversation before, or at least versions of it. But it’s never felt like this. It’s never felt like it’s this close to something real, something neither of you can take back.

“What do you mean?” you ask, your voice cautious, like you’re afraid to push her too far, to make her retreat behind that wall she’s so good at building.

Aitana lets out a slow breath, her eyes not leaving yours. “I mean… I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of being a secret. And I’m tired of making you cover for me like you’re ashamed of what we have.” Her voice is steady, but there’s a vulnerability in it that catches you off guard, something raw and exposed. “I don’t want to do that to you anymore.”

You stare at her, your heart pounding, trying to make sense of what she’s saying. You’ve always been the one to take the fall, to laugh off the questions, to keep up the charade. You’ve always thought you were doing it for her—because she wasn’t ready, because she needed more time. But now, sitting here, looking at her, you realize that maybe you’ve been doing it for yourself too. Maybe you’ve been hiding just as much as she has, afraid of what it would mean to actually be out there, to actually be seen.

“Aitana…” you start, but she cuts you off, her voice soft but firm.

“I know it won’t be easy,” she says quickly, like she’s already thought this through a thousand times. “I know people will talk, and it’ll be… hard. But I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to hide us. I don’t want you to pretend like I’m just someone you picked up or some random girl in your bed. I’m more than that. I’ve always been more than that”

The words hit you harder than you expected, and for a second, you don’t know how to respond. You’ve spent so long keeping this part of you hidden, keeping this relationship in the shadows, that the idea of stepping out into the light feels… terrifying. But at the same time, hearing her say it, hearing her admit that she’s ready—that she wants to be open—it makes something inside you shift, something that feels like hope.

“Are you sure?” you ask, your voice quieter now, more careful. You don’t want to push her, don’t want to rush her into something she’s not ready for, even though every part of you is screaming to say yes, to finally stop hiding.

She nods, her eyes steady, her expression soft but sure. “I’m sure.” She reaches out then, her hand finding yours, her fingers threading through yours with a quiet certainty. “I don’t want to hide anymore. Not from them, not from anyone.”

You feel the weight of her words settle over you, and for the first time in a long time, it feels like you can breathe. Like the walls you’ve both built are finally starting to come down.

“I don’t want you to hide either,” you admit, the words coming out easier than you thought they would. And it’s true. You’re tired of pretending too, tired of covering for something that’s real, something that’s yours.

Aitana smiles then, a small, tentative smile, but there’s something bright behind it, something that makes your chest ache in the best possible way. She leans in, pressing her forehead to yours, her breath warm against your lips.

“So… I’ll tell them,” she whispers, her voice barely audible, but filled with a kind of quiet determination that makes you believe her.

“No,” you whisper back, your heart pounding, your hand tightening around hers. “We’ll tell them”

[brionysea]

when it comes to the umbrella academy, a lot of people seem to think that the first half is great and the second half is terrible. personally, I think only the first *season* is great, or even good. here's why:

the mission statement at the end of season 1 is fixing viktor, but viktor isn't the only broken one, so you can infer that they're all going to have to fix *each other* - as a family, the one thing their abuser never let them be. and the world's burning down around them because of the most dramatic sibling confrontation to ever grace the earth, but they're holding hands and escaping together and surviving the impossible with the intent to move forward, even if that means momentarily moving backwards. it's a masterful allegory for finally growing up, accepting responsibility for your personal trauma and tragedy and how they shaped you, and the moment you take that power back by choosing to heal your inner child, only after being slapped in the face with the fact that if you don't, it *will* destroy everything you've ever built, ever cared about, and ever could.

and then the rest of the show forgets all of it. as it were, it goes in the *exact opposite direction.*

on the surface, the second season isn't *as* bad as the subsequent ones are. but season 3 and 4's faults can be traced back to season 2 by how it pivoted away from the serious subject matter that the story (not the plot - the *story*) was heavily baked in, leaning hard into the goofier elements instead, without ever understanding the contrast that those conflicting elements served to highlight. it made them both more powerful; the jokes were funnier because you were just devastated, and the trauma was more devastating because you were just in tears laughing. the emotional roller coaster is key to understanding these people, and you *have* to take the serious stuff seriously for it to work. at least half of the show doesn't, and as a result, the emotional moments feel hollow.

controversial opinion: as a character, luther is better in season 1 than he is anywhere else. he's more unlikable, but that's because he's implicitly there to show what *not* to do - even if he'd succeeded narratively by locking viktor up and saving the world, he still failed thematically by emulating their father and continuing the cycle of abuse - so luther's a character that's being very effectively used to add to the core theme of the story. he feels like a real, frustrating person, whose brain chemistry got messed up by years of abuse and isolation, all for the crime of thinking his father loved him and wanted the best for him. not like a made up guy on your screen doing silly stuff solely for your entertainment.

season 2 was also the start of the characters getting love interests instead of storylines, which season 1 never would have *dreamed* of; klaus and dave's tragic romance only served to further klaus's character arc, viktor's creepy boyfriend was actually manipulating him the whole time, five's fractured-psyche-mannequin was a narrative tool to let us see into the head of such an emotionally reticent character, and so on. the romance served the character, but fairly quickly into the show's progression, it felt like the character started serving the romance. five was immune to this curse for a long time due to aidan gallagher's age, which is why he's (for the most part) the best, most consistent character across the show, because they had to use their *imagination* for him and actually *write an arc* instead of falling back on tired romance tropes that any selection of characters could slot into to fill the dead space.

after season 1, the umbrella academy is entertaining, but it doesn't have anything to *say.* which is extremely disappointing when the show initially made such a strong case for what it wanted to be.