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Tim: once again the masses have misunderstood my willingness to kill. No, I do not intend to ever become a murderer. However, that doesn't mean I don't think about it or have a 20-step plan to take out my rogues gallery should the need arise.

Bruce: that is not as comforting as you want it to be.

Tim: God forbid men have a hobby.

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The thing where Tim is somehow able to convince people he's not an actual lunatic?

Like.

Civilians and the general public and anyone not part of the superhero crowd.

Forget picturing the goddamned Batman going to, like. Teacher-Parent night at school.

Picture Bruce sitting there listening to one of Tim's teachers tell him what a sweet, nice young man Tim is!

So polite!

An absolute angel!

Why, they're so lucky to have him in their class, etc., etc., etc.

Meanwhile Bruce is remembering the way Tim sassed him to his face not twenty minutes ago on the way to the school. Or Tim embezzling an entire damned Batmobile by hiding it in the Batarang budget - and then Impulse - Impulse! - crashed it.

(And so on and so on and so on.)

The more Bruce hears about Tim being this well-behaved/model student who's never done a thing wrong in his life, the more Bruce ages before his time/his life flashes before his eyes.

He knows it's an act Tim puts on and the so on?

But wow, do these people not know his kid.

Also. Bruce recounting the whole thing to Dick who also is like - God, Tim really has everyone fooled, doesn't he?

They absolutely love Tim and such, but whatever else Tim is, that kid is not an angel.

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[Tim locked in a room because he’s sick]

Dick: Oh Jason, what if he sleeps forever

-Tim punches straight through the door-

Jason/Dick: -screaming-

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Love reading DC fics so much but absolutely detest that a lot of people who like one character will blatantly show bias in their fics and mischaracterize certain characters, not that there’s anything wrong with liking or disliking certain character but because a lot of people I know got into the DC fandom through fanfic and treat fanon as gospel and it causes so much unnecessary hatred especially with batfam fics. Grayson fics usually have Jason and tim being a jerk and usually Damian as the only nice one. Jason fics usually have grayson acting like a total self centered douche and Tim and Damian as spoiled brats. Tim fics have dick being selfish and neglectful Jason and Damian being a two dimensional evil people. Damian fics usually have Tim and Jason as cruel and heartless and Grayson as the only nice person.

moral of the story don’t judge other peoples favs based on fics that are usually heavily biased(even several comics do the same thing so try and read a good variety if u wanna get a better sense of characters)

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I love that Jimmy Olsen is exactly the type of photographer Peter Parker pretends to be. Just bat-shit insane.

Whenever someone asks Peter how he took a picture he's like "Oh! I uh-, climmed a flagpole. Totally"

And very mortal, normal-human Jimmy is like "See, Clark, is not that weird"

I mean, look at this nutjob.

The world could be ending, lava on the streets and Jimmy would be out there photographing away. No powers, no sense of self preservation. Just khakis, a camera and a dream.

I like to imagine Peter meeting Jimmy and immediately being mortified about it.

Jimmy: –and so luckily I was able to take the picture before the building collapsed on me... Superman was super pissed at me but, photographer to photographer, it was totally worth it.

Peter: Right, no– See, this is actually my first time hearing how fucking insane that sounds. No wonder people at work look at me weird.

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idk what to do with this blog...

Please have this itty bitty boi

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Bart: Horrible it was. A giant SWEDISH meatball with a blood cuddling scream grabbed Tim in its drooling ground chuck. This is the sound it made.

To make the story more believable he sucked his arm, making a suckling sound. Dick pretended to sniffle to hide his laughter while Bruce groaned.

Bruce: That was the best excuse you had?

Wally: Oh my God, Tim are you okay?!

Bruce: You're kidding!

Tim: Yeah... Sentient meatballs aren't going to knock me down.

Bart nodded then patted Tim on the head.

Bart: He will need rest and relaxation.

Tim: And three weeks paid vacation.

Bart: And three weeks paid vacation.

Bruce: I'm not-

Wally: YOU BETTER GIVE HIM TIME TO PROCESS FROM THAT TRAUMA!

Bruce: Stop entertaining this! I can't believe this is happening, Dick step in here!

Dick (siding with the liars cuz it's funnier): Papa, your son is traumatized by the French—

Tim: Swedish.

Dick: Swedish meatball. The least you can do is let him take time off to get better.

Bruce: Okay, I'm the asshole in this situation. Fine, who cares. I have Damian who can sub. Tim take the stupid vacation. I need an Advil.

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Every time I hear about Tim's missing spleen and all the complications that arise from it, I just...seriously? Why does he just walk around without it?

I mean, this is the same guy who tried to clone Kon 99 times. I'm sure he has at least some idea how to grow a spleen.

Please, someone, anyone, acknowledge Tim "I tried to master human-alien DNA manipulation as a highschool dropout" Drake would absolutely perform open chest surgery on himself to keep the embarrassment of losing an organ from the rest of the Bats.

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“Damian never felt bad for his actions when he was in the league”

Then what the fuck is this

I have so many more of these panels from when he was undoing his year of blood and oh my fucking god it breaks my heart

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After reading so much Batman, this Nightwing scene is like a drink of water in the middle of a dessert.

You mean a character is actually smiling??? And being silly??? While still exhibiting competency????

Look at him ;-;

He’s so goober. I can’t believe I made it through all of No Man’s Land and its dourness without this. Little goober man.

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have some silly klapollos ✨

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Steph: Fuck we forgot a torch.

Tim: Hang on I got this.

Tim, snaps Jason’s arm like a glow-stick.

Jason, eyes illuminated bright green casting light onto the surrounding area: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.

Tim: Got it.

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executive dysfunction and writers block is a deadly combo fr, i want to write so bad but i just cant get myself to do it. fellow audhd havers/writers please give me advice on how you guys break out of an executive dysfunction cycle

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"Batman is so unrealistic, why does he have shark repellent spray haha--" maybe he just has a canister of a substance on his belt that's so strong, it's banned in several countries and as it turns out, sharks don't like getting face-blasted with the marine equivalent of bear spray on steroids any more than humans do. you're telling me Batman is carrying a single-use item like that on his belt? Heck no. He's using that shit on sharks, on people, on random aliens who try to grab him during JL negotiations, and anyone else he thinks it'll work on. He even used it on himself once to get Joker gas out of his eyes and respiratory system. Superman is never 100% sure if he should say something about it to him or not. The Robins/Ex-Robins like to play Russian Roulette with Bruce's used-up canisters when they're bored. But yes -- it does work on sharks. He modified the nozzle so it can be used underwater.

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I’m not saying Bruce should be capable of figuring out Superman’s secret identity right away every time, but Superman managing to turn “Did you eat?” into one syllable should have been a clue.

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HE BOUGHT THE FUCKING THEATER TO LIVE IN???

Red Robin #17

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We need less "shy, anxious, always second guessing" Apollo in fanworks, and approximately 400% more of whatever the hell this is.