#but they did nonetheless include it
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I understand that the Logic Extremists are, y'know, extreme. But it's always silly when people, in order to criticize Discovery, pretend like Discovery invented the concept of Vulcans being space racist. As if Yesteryear, Enterprise, and Star Trek (2009) didn't all do that too
#now did Enterprise do a good job with their space racism? no#but they did nonetheless include it#tas#ent#aos#dsc
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"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity
that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him
#i have so many thoughts on these two#hes such a clingy brother wth#as much as he soothes her it is only by asking lucrezia verbally or#by looking at her that his fears and insecurities in her life can be soothed#cesare torn between - being relieved she had some joy in the ruthless marriage he had no power to prevent and did not even want to bless#or being envious there is someone else now when his little sister once said she will not love anyone as much as she loves him#but Accepting it anyways because it is impossible loves and maybe he is starting to become aware his love falls in this same category.#“should i envy this narcissus low-born who shall never see you again because of his impossible love for you when i love you just the same?”#the knife more surprise than fear. in a time when he did not love himself...“she accepts me as i am? as i do her”#biting her as if another black panther pet looking for reassurance that their love#that HE is still included in her perfect world even if he himself pulls away#“surely you're in agony as much as i am? are you already satisfied with your child and husband if we cannot share our love openly?”#“your eyes drift to mine when you say 'husband' am i not he? do you see me as so even when it was just 'tonight'?”#and then his sudden gaze as if to look for truth because how can she forget him when he only thinks of her#AND AGAIN pulling away being eaten by shame and guilt of corrupting her (when their relationship is not just his doing)#torn between hope (we have the capacity to forget and move on) and hope (our love has that much devil power over her)#cesare as the god or the devil or whatever it is that overwhelms whether at war or in love#cesare is one confident man and even if his insecurities has layers of righteousness and importance..it is still insecurity nonetheless#and only for lucrezia#lucrezia borgia#cesare borgia#cesare x lucrezia#the borgias#dailyborgia#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#romancegifs#the borgiasedit
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He tore my limbs asunder after this HE DGAFFF💔
#enki ankarian#fear and hunger#funger#tomodachi life#it’s just like that one fanart of Enki w Nosramus where nos is like#bugs in ur hair…#and Enki is like Do Not Speak Ill Of My Oomfies#I did just that… and now I am paying the price (he’s only donating $0.01 to the island donations from now on)#I’m making the rest of the funger cast btw including oc and me LOL#idk if o want to make termina chars bc I haven’t played it yet but I’m fond of those guys nonetheless… taps chin pondering
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I don't give baby Steph that much credit but I do think it's funny that when I was in my OC phase and writing for Teen Titans I went "hey! it's not fair no one ships Cyborg with anyone! I'm going to make him a girlfriend!"
#good job lil me. You didn't understand fandom racism yet but you wanted Vic to be included.#the character was an artificial human made of living xenothium named Clone#she was created by the Brotherhood of Evil and Beast Boy completely forgot that he'd fought her before until she'd already left#then she did the classic trope of ~titans live in prisoner~#which was extremely common in OC fics at the time#idk.#anyways she lived to play pranks on Robin with Cyborg#and they bonded over hotdogs#That's about as far as I got into their story before I was filled with a deep seated panic about OCs#and deleted her from the world#RIP Clone you were a weird lil OC and I haven't managed to recycle you for parts unlike Hinn or Amy#but you are appreciated nonetheless#Steph Speaks
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OH MY GOD A YEAR AGO TODAY .
#thats literally insane what do you mean that crazy day was last year. oh boy ok hastily thought up recap thought time#what that day included:#stupidly going out into july in los angeles heat that morning in jeans and a long sleeve black shirt#in that state of extreme sweatiness: meeting john l of tmbg fame. who id be seeing in concert that exact night#an insane story i have told before but nonetheless incredibly bonkers#later that day when i went out again i (also stupidly) wore sandals that cut up the back of my heels#i toughed it out later and put socks on and the russell brand of cdg high tops on and danced at the concert anyway#wore a full gold glitter suit. was still worried about being unnoticeable#i was too scareddddddd to talk to christi who i saw hanging around before the show which i regret#the best part of the concert and that trip to california was seeing it with my best friend who i finally met in person for that trip#he was dressed as ron and i of course was russ in the glitter suit. my hair did not turn out as magically russ as desired#what else. i was too ough before the concert to eat my combination lunch dinner of panda express something#but i did get overpriced fancy crackers and rosé at the hbowl which was my sparks dinner#ok now let me get to the show itself. i did a review the night of but lets see if there are any details i forgot that i can remember now#like right at the beginning of so may we start there was the audible sound of a glass breaking so awesome. someone was ready to get down#russell getting choked up talking abt their mom taking them to the hollywood bowl as kids i haven't stopped crying#oh yeah all the stupid people in the pool circle (front seats) who didn't care about seeing sparks. youre all going to hell#especially the people that left before the show ended#russell achieved some maximum awooga levels but i may have been picking up on those especially because of the rosé#russell saying to the audience in between singing all that how beautiful it looked with everyone turning the light on their phones#another thing i havent stopped crying over#also got a fun bootleg shirt specific to that show when walking back to the hotel. thank you slightly sketchy guy#that whole night and everything was bonkers insane and wonderful can i Please relive it now. please#like literally this time last year adjusting for time zone i was uhhhhh. probably injuring myself in those stupid sandals#and id do it again! well maybe not but id relive that day again#ok anyway. one year huh
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like i guess re pronouns i think also like. many of us (trans/gnc/~gender-diverse~ people) are going to feel differently from one another and that diversity of thought is both inevitable and important
but there is a way in which, as with the question of whether you can group nonbinary people into 'people functionally includable in lesbian attraction' and 'people functionally includable in gay male attraction,' there's this process where like. there's an attempt to expand beyond the traditional framing and create more space for people, and then when that attempt runs up against cissexism and gets gummed up in some of the ways that article describes, you get people going, 'you know what, actually the really queer thing is to stop trying to expand mainstream culture into something that can accommodate queerness and just exist in a totally unspoken way,' and like. it's not that i don't get where that reaction is coming from, or that i totally disagree with it—as my one transfem ex said, the best days are the ones where you don't have to actively make a case for, or even really think about, your own gender!—but like. funny how that approach in certain ways ends up looking (and more to the point feeling) pretty indistinguishable from just. subsiding right back into the underbelly of the cistem…
#like personally i would in fact feel disrespected if a woman who was attracted to me‚ and not‚ like‚ in passing but in a serious ongoing way#nonetheless continued to be really actively vocally adamant that she was totally uncomplicatedly a lesbian/wlw#like obviously it would depend a little bit on what she meant by 'lesbian' bc there's potentially a lot of stretchiness in that category#that includes a lot of gender variance#but like. yeah actually i DO need you to pick up what i'm trying to put down‚ and take it seriously‚ and work out what that means for#the range of your attraction and how you're going to describe it#and the pressure in certain circles (that don't‚ i think‚ include anyone reading this) for me to just‚ like‚ Be Chill about that#and accept being functionally gendered as Basically a Woman#doesn't in fact feel different to me from the way cis culture wants me to accept that!#anyway yes this DOES feel like discourse necromancy but in a lot of ways so did the article that sparked it so. shrug emoji#language#identity#theory
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well I just spent an hour digging through my own dnd notes and social media and also almost cried because I mentioned, in passing, something justin had said about one of his NPCs and he, completely lightheartedly, was like '?? I don't remember that at all. [I mean I'm not making it up?] I think you might be making it up 😏'
#me-- instantly stressed and near tears: I know you're joking and it's not even important but. that isn't funny. to me.#I really wish there was a term for 'gaslighting but they're not doing it on purpose'#this is distinct from simply 'being wrong' because 'that's definitely not what happened 🤨' is a key part of it#the other person trying to convince me that I'm wrong and I must be crazy-- not for manipulation purposes but because THEY forgot#and are MUCH more confident in the possibility that I'm completely full of shit than that they maybe can't remember exactly#this is an extraordinarily specific thing that nonetheless happens to me ASTONISHINGLY OFTEN.#I mean clearly often enough that I'm now hair-trigger sensitive upset about it#AND TO CLARIFY QUICKLY-- that's not what justin even did (this time) but 'well I don't remember that' is still...#OKAY WELL I DO. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER BELIEVE ME.#trembling and crying searching for Receipts while explaining to my husband that it's not even that I don't think he believes me (this time)#I just. I just. I just. I'm not fucking crazy. I know you don't think I'm crazy. but I still feel like I Have to prove it.#my mom sending a package to the wrong address and then saying-- confidently and irritably-- 'you never GAVE me a unit number'#when I can scroll back up through texts to where I sent her our new address when we moved and it was complete and correct#my friend during our big stupid fight saying 'no one actually AGREED to that [dnd] plan except you and justin 😒'#going back into my audio recording to that conversation where everyone BUT him agreed#including his fucking pick-me 'yeah jay's being shitty right now' brother whose character said 'this sounds like a good plan' verbatim#like. I KNOW it's not just 'my memory vs theirs and we both assume we're right'#because SO OFTEN when this happens I have FUCKING RECEIPTS. that I'M NOT WRONG OR CRAZY.#no one ever wants to entertain the notion that I might know what I'm talking about.#I can't stress enough that I'm not mad at justin right now he was very much 'no I believe you! it's weird that I don't remember though'#which is fair! honestly! but I'm a LITTLE. sensitive. of the fact that everyone always ALWAYS automatically assumes I'm incorrect#and very often in a way that's a mark against my competence or character.#'well *I* couldn't *possibly* have gotten the address wrong so YOU must have fucked it up'#you know. it's like that. it's like that a lot.#maybe this only happens to me so much because I happen to be cursed with remembering things better than most people#or maybe I'm uniquely viewed as incompetent. who can say.#about me
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Balloon Art Day 3
Day 1 - Day 2
15. Giraffe - Unnamed
Before I got out of bed today, I whipped out a quick giraffe for a warm up. This giraffe is just a dog with different proportions, but I wanted to make a giraffe for a friend's kid. I didn't prepare at all beforehand, but from a purely balloon twisting perspective, I'm really happy with it. One small detail that doesn't show up super well in this picture is that I made the front legs longer than the back. Giraffes' legs are pretty even, but you can clearly see a downward slope in their backs that can be approximated in balloon form by introducing a length difference. This one stopped living up to my expectations once I tried drawing the spots on. Sharpie works wonders on these balloons, but I didn't have a brown sharpie on hand in my bedroom. I used a crayola marker instead, which you can see didn't really stick at all. Ended up being a bit of a mess!
17, 18, 19. Heart, bow, flower - Mother's Day Ensemble
This heart here is my second attempt. It takes some effort to get a balloon to hold an angle like the one in a heart! Even more effort to do it without any swelling in the joint. You can see that the heart here is slightly inflamed, but compared to the one before it, it looks extremely healthy. Aside from that, the bow here is a little uneven, and the flower was intended to have six petals instead of five (one of them being a tad short), but after struggling a while with how I wanted the heart to look, I decided that today was going to be a "finish it even if it's not perfect" kind of day.
20. Sword
I consider this an important skill in the children's birthday party side of balloon art, and for the sake of possibly making a little bit of money at some point (it's so hard to do things on a just-for-fun basis nowadays), I've resolved to eventually perfect the blade. The challenge of the sword is inflating the balloon just enough that you can still make the few required twists while resulting in a round, inflated tip. Now, the bubble at the front of this one is a bit long, and that's not the challenging part, but I got a little turned around at the start of this one. The tip top is slightly under-inflated. Only slightly, though, so I'm satisfied with this as a first try.
21. Mushroom
This one was also a little sloppy, but it's such a cute little thing that I was really happy to finish it regardless. A developing theme is that I will make bubbles bigger than a tutorial calls for and run out of balloon faster than intended when I iterate the process. This mushroom has a slightly less robust cap than specified in the tutorial I followed, but once again, it doesn't matter too much. I find that it's pretty fun to not measure anything and just work it out on my own when something goes wrong.
22. Corn (failure)
This one involves weaving six balloons at once into basically a tall basket. I couldn't handle that many balloons at once! No biggie though, this was a big step up from what I've done up to this point. The mode of failure was a pinch twist, which is consistently a technique that I'm a little nervous about due to a fear of popping. This time, it was in between a lot of other bubbles and I must have pulled a bit too hard, because the balloon I was twisting did indeed pop. I feel comfortable saying I bit off more than I could chew here, but I'm exercising my jaw every day, so I'll come back around for this one another time!
23. Sword (not pictured)
This one was both to see if I could do it better this time, and because I just wanted to play around. I didn't do it any better this time though. I don't want to sit down for a day of nothing but swords until I get the inflation level to be perfect, but I think that might be the best way to learn. I'll keep working hard, whatever that looks like!
24. Camel - Wendy
Yup, that's right, she's meant to be a camel. I didn't get as much height as I'd have liked out of her hump because the bubbles that make up her torso are slightly different lengths. I was also cutting my balloon length pretty close at the end, because this is one of the rare designs that leaves the very end of the balloon inflated. Her front legs are also longer than her back legs, and not on purpose this time! I don't mind for now though. Hard to feel frustrated when I'm holding a cute little animal that I made!
#balloon art#this one's extra long! I had a busy busy day#also a very long day! I didn't get much sleep last night#I debated for a little while if I should include the second sword on this post#but I figure even if I don't keep a picture of it#I still want a record of what I did#I like the impermanence of balloon art#but I also love the experience of documenting an impermanent thing#you can't use words and pictures to fully replicate the experience of having one of these in front of you#or in your hands#but I keep a record nonetheless!#one day all of the pieces I've made so far will be deflated or popped#and I'll still be able to look at these posts#and eventually the website won't exist anymore#and hopefully I'll have moved the posts somewhere else#anyway#there's something appealing about failing happily
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im a lil embarrassed that most of the posts ive posted (duh) as of late were text posts abt me being sick LMFAO n it feels silly to write this but i think i may log out of this acc for a lil while at least on mobile <3
#not being able to write is making me feel a lil dizzy dizzy#a lil embarrassed a lil 'i do not belong' ya know???#hm yeah i also need to get off my phone bc i start uni next week and i need to wake up early and im soooo stressed bc of another uni thingy#so...i will be deactivating 😔👊#im joking im joking#ofc i wont deactivate i think my shrink would kill me if i did anyway /hj#she was the once that convinced me to make the writing blog#but rn the internet doesnt feel good to me and i need to be more present and more real and prioritise other aspects of my life#i wanna be more stable and journal and move my body and read books bc i like the feeling of the paper and and#i had the sweetest ask ever about my book recs and i was also a lil embarrassed to respond bc im not much of a reader but i try TT#anyway !! aside from this mildly incoherent ramble which i loved writing ngl#i havent been writing a lot and i think ive lowkey un-hyperfixated on tr and jjk so the inspo isnt inspoing#and tbh that feels a lil awful to say bc tr has taught me so many things and helped me grow and im so painfully in love with shin but idk#idk what happened i think i just hit a lil bump in the road of life and the stress has me focused more on real life and other things than#my darling beloveds. and im sure itll pass like most things in life i will feel good again#but rn it doesnt. i havent even caught up with the latest ep of tr :') but nonetheless writing is one of my truest loves as well#so i will comeback hopefully with a few stories mapped out including a lil gojo series and all that fun jazz :D#i have shin naoto izana gojo and toji in store !! and tbh im not ready to just leave them all behind#ANYWAY OKAY this' gone for too long LMFAO but thank u if u read till here i think i needed to rant#that means ill probably be less active than im already am but ill be back !!#still i dont think this exactly qualifies as a hiatus so i wont mark it down as such wait is this a semi-hiatus??? lmfao idk but eh 🤷♀️#i love love love love love yall so so so much and forevever and always will#MWAH#<3
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@listen-to-the-inner-walrus i think your tags here are important
Do not punish the behaviour you want to see
I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right?
But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize, snarkily say, “So, you’ve decided to join us”?
Or when someone does something they’ve had trouble doing, say, “Why can’t you do that all the time?” (Happened to me, too often.)
Or any sentence containing the word “finally”.
If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Don’t complain about how it’s not enough. Don’t bring up previous stuff. Encourage it.
Because I swear to fucking god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.
#i don't believe that you should compromise on your own principles#but for myself at least one of my principles is to only ever hurt others in proportionate self defence#and that includes being mean to them. being mean to people hurts them#i think this really sank into me when i was chatting with a friend who left their religion#and to be clear: their parents were (strongly) christian but they were liberal/lefty christian. and very accepting#but nonetheless this friend told me that they found it SO HARD to leave because once they did they knew#they'd never be as close to their loved ones again#and i just thought oh. if it was that hard for them. how much harder must it be for those in alt-right/alt-right adjacent communities#and something clicked for me
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One of the most memorable speeches I've ever heard was given at my beloved's graduation. They attended a pretty crunchy school natural medicine. They went for acupuncture but they also had many degrees including nutrition, naturopathic medicine, and most importantly to this story: midwifery.
The common consensus across campus was that the midwives operated on their own frequency which is a nice way to say they were usually really weird, even by the standards of a pretty alternative crowd of people. Not weird in a bad way. But weird nonetheless. They straddled the boundary between life and death and it changed them.
I had never experienced a midwife before the ceremony which is why I didn't think anything of the fact that a midwife stepped up to give the graduation speech. My friends nearby had a stir of repressed amusement and elbowing each other which did puzzle me slightly.
The speech began as a story, which I heartily approved of. The midwife related an experience in which a woman told her that during her first birth she had screamed too much and used up her energy in that instead of pushing and the midwife, to the collective masses assembled to watch a solemn ceremony, said, "I told her this time she would need to scream with her vagina."
The audience was slightly stunned by this, myself included. I scanned the crowd to see dropped jaws and wide eyes. It was such a bold statement to make in an academic setting and no one quite knew what to make of it.
The midwife continued unperturbed.
She related that many dads didn't know what to do during the birthing process and that this particular dad chose to chant over and over, "You're gonna be huge, you're gonna be huge," as his wife screamed with her vagina to birth their child. The midwife mused that she didn't know if he was talking to their child or his wife or if he even registered what he was saying in that moment.
Then the subject strayed toward how the student body had strained and striven toward this goal, this endgame that was the result of sleepless nights, hard work, and camaraderie. The speech seemed to have moved onto more solid ground and traditional graduation reminiscences. The crowd settled, thinking the worst had passed.
But as the midwife wrapped up she said, "As you go forth into the world, pushed out by this noble institution to help the masses, just remember one thing," she paused and the audience held their breath while the beat drew out before she finally whispered:
"You're gonna be huge."
There was a roar of astonished laughter as her speech neatly tied their graduation into a metaphor for being birthed unto the world and we finally understood the point of her anecdote.
The speech lives in infamy in all our collective memories. Years later my beloved's dad will still be like, "Remember that bizarre graduation speech?"
And it was. It was bizarre. But I'll say this. I've attended a lot of graduations, and I don't remember any of the speeches half so well as I do that one.
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yall ive been studying wiki articles for the past two hours and under the article about hannibal directive it literally says that on dec 5 israeli h0stages who were released met with netanyahus war cabinet and claimed that they were "deliberately attacked by israeli helicopters on their way into gaza and shelled constantly by the israeli military while they were there" and on top of that two female survivors from be'eri said in a tv interview (i saw that on ig a few days ago too) that they witnessed a 12-yr old girl named liel being hit and k!lled by a tank shell. just a few hours ago on dec 18 the IDF admitted i quote "casualties fell as a result of friendly fire on october 7" but added that "beyond the operational investigations of the events, it would not be morally sound to investigate these incidents due to the immense and complex quantity of them that took place in the kibbutzim and southern israeli communities due to the challenging situations the soldiers were in at the time." an israeli police investigation also stated that the first helicopters at the scene of the festival arrived hours after the massacre began and that they were likely responsible for "only a few" friendly fire casualties (still at least they finally admitted to the firing from helicopters but given the amounts of totally destroyed and burnt cars and what the freed h0stages reported on dec 5 im not so sure about that). the numbers of civilian casualities of october 7 has been now named at 695 israeli civilians (of which reportedly 70 were arab israelis) including 36 kids plus 71 foreign nationals, of which the article said that an "unknown but significant number" was caused by friendly fire. i honestly hope this is investigated thoroughly and not swept under the carpet. yes h4mas is guilty of horrifying crimes and has to be held accountable and punished (but THEM, not the entire population of gaza) but also the israeli military and government has to be held accountable for their actions not only in gaza but also on their „own“ territory. many freed h0stages, surviving victims that have not been ab duc ted and their families have been talking how they felt betrayed (one young man said he was sh0t at the festival in his leg and immobilised by that and literally laid in the desert for 7 hours and that he could not understand what took them so long, also being given he was once serving in the army as well) and were made dual victims of h4mas and israel simultaneously. (continued in the hashtags bc this is already long enough) i needed to share this so badly im sorry.
#it doesnt change the tragic outcome but maybe a part of the perspective#i also wont get over how 240 ppl got taken to a tiny strip of land and they immediately started 4ttacking it the way they did nonetheless#like yall have one of the most modern militaries in the world and called in 300 k reservists too i read?#shouldve at least tried to negotiate to get them all free immediately and THEN 4ttack like yall are the military superpower#also that the chairman of the us house foreign affairs committee CONFIRMED that egypt warned israel last on OCTOBER 4#egypt said it warned Israel that “an explosion of the situation was coming very soon and it would be big” (there were immense tensions)#247 palestinians including around 60 minors had been killed between january and september this year#israel denied receiving this but it was literally CONFIRMED#plus israeli newspaper Haaretz reported that HOURS before the attack IDF commanders + shin bet discussed if nova festival being held so (1)#(2) close to the border would be a threat but then decided to not give warnings to the festival organizers (who were k!lled btw)
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So apparently I am an ethereal fallen angel, an ethereal deity, and an immortal wood spirit. Nice to know lol
comprehensive unhinged, shrimp emotion evoking, definitely not fully human music artist alignment chart
#i have no clue if I used this correctly but it's cool nonetheless lol#btw I only did albums that I know more than one song to#if I did albums I only know one song too that'd include Would That I and Achilles come down
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have been reading fic & thinking abt my relationship to fic, which is of course also among other things a mirror of my relationship to my own psyche, and like—i think all the discourse abt its being ~internalized misogyny~ to mostly/entirely read m/m is not ultimately, whatever the truth of it, all that helpful, either to readers or to Women! but of course that doesn't stop me from feeling weird guilt abt the fact that i don't read more f/f than i do, because if there's anything i love to do, it's feel unhelpfully bad abt myself on the slimmest of pretexts…
however! i did end up reading some f/f earlier, specifically transfem f/f, and it got me thinking—basically what i'm usually mostly reading fic for is the romance/sex, right? like, don't get me wrong, i love when a fic gives me a gorgeous double helix of, like, casefic and romance twisted together, that's ideal, but fundamentally most of the time the feeling up is what i sat down at the table to eat. so in a complex aegosexual way it's a fantasy i'm—not projecting onto, exactly, i don't want to be one of the people in it; but, like, lurking in the wings of with eyes big love-crumbs, to steal a phrase from a relevantly-named poet. :) and so it's no wonder that mostly i don't want to read cisfemme4cisfemme stuff, because that's not a dynamic that feels like it has any room for me, or even like i'm particularly welcome in the room. but like. if it's trans women? i'm there, i love that for them and for me. if there's a butch? i might get tripped up by our differing lenses on gender feelings and stub my toe a little but even so i'm probably here for it. (thinking here abt that one butch/femme geraskier ~cisswap which is, like, a gorgeous bruise i keep periodically pressing. <3)
so really it's just like. shocker: i'm not personally moved by fantasies abt romance which feature conventionally feminine cis women whom i don't personally find relatable or sexually desirable! and when i put it like that, it really instantly dissolves the weird useless discourse-induced guiltgunk. like. give me a woman who's, idk, tall and charismatic and strong and clever and talented at something (though honestly it's like that siken revised tweet, a lot of those characteristics are ultimately negotiable!), like women i've historically crushed on irl, and then give me a pairing for her that's like. another woman who's also enough of those things, or a man who's—honestly the kind of m/f i'm open to would be its own whole post bc holy shit am i fussy, it very much does exist but for now let's just stick a pin in that one—or somebody nonbinary, which… idk that i've ever actually seen nb/f in fic? i'm sure it exists! but i'm not sure it exists in any fandoms i've been into. pondering the question did get me really thirsty for a good 'farmgirl (of the luke skywalker variety) is absolutely stunned-and-ringing-like-a-struck-bell captivated by confident flamboyantly genderqueer love interest (example wanted)' dynamic, though…
#(this is entirely unrelated to the actual topic but every time i use a possessive to modify a gerund bc it's a verbal noun it's like#pls hold‚ time 2 decide whether i'd rather do the esoteric thing—'its being'—and have most ppl think i'm getting it wrong#or do the demotic thing—'it being'—and *know* in my own secret heart i'm getting it wrong#and both scenarios feel Bad! so it really is just lose-lose every time it comes up… a sad situation for a gerund lover like yrs truly. 😔)#(also yes what is 'wrong' when it comes 2 language anyway but like. you know what itches your ears and i know what itches mine.#…& obvs what itches mine somehow does NOT include (mis)using 'itch' as a transitive verb for comedically colloquial effect. shrug emoji!!)#anyway none of this is remotely groundbreaking or even unusual but. soothing 2 me to lay it out like this.#fannish things#i guess also#aut fieri uolo aut futuere#and no‚ the world definitely did not need >500 words retreading the same ground many other ppl have already trodden#however. what is a blog for if not to house long-winded unnecessary posts no one but the author (if that) really needed.#in conclusion anything i say abt My Relationship 2 Fic is really always a diptych with that anecdote abt the woman who called up queer bars#just to know there was a space out there where freedom and joy existed‚ and brush the edge of it‚ just a little#like am i personally embodying/visible as much of what i'm deeply emotionally bound up with? no.#is it nonetheless/therefore hugely important to me to see those possibilities stretched out before me like a far green field? sure is!!
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<yunho x fem!reader>
well, pining after your brother’s fucking attractive best friend isn’t a sin if he doesn’t know right? nobody has to know.
nobody has to know that you're lodged in his fantasies when the nights deepen.
nobody has to know what happens when you're forced to share a room with Yunho.
Genre/Warnings: smut, big dick! X Perverted! Yunho, unprotected sex, low key corruption kink, mutual pining, cream pies, fingering, orgasms, overstimulation, oh no they are forced to share a room!, sexual tension, dirty talk
Taglist: @bro-atz @diamond-3 @mcarebearsstuff @choisansplushie @voicesinmyhead-rc @pre1ttyies @hwallazia @songmingisthighs @yeosangiess @sanhwajjong @interweab @mylovelymito @softwsan @yourlocaljonghoe @itza-meee
🩷 back to staying perverted
A/N: send me to jail for being so inactive TT I know life happens and I shouldn't apologise for going mia for a bit but I still feel so bad! Nonetheless, please continue giving my works as much love as you all always do, and that ya'll are my source of motivation. Thank you for waiting ❤️
Undoubtedly, it’s either your brother has good taste in making friends, or you just have interesting taste in men, because out of all men you had a crush on, it had to be the one closest to your brother—Jeong Yunho. Something about him made your heart flutter uncontrollably. Maybe it was the way he would lean in towards you when he wanted to whisper something in your ear, keeping your brother an arm’s length while his voice tickled perfectly as it reverberates in your brain. Maybe it was the way he would hold your stare for a couple of seconds before his pretty smiles spreads across his lips, as if he was keeping a secret that he wants to tell you. Maybe it was the way he would bump his arm against yours when he wants to ally with you to piss your brother off.
Whatever it was, you couldn’t deny that the feelings you had for him were growing exponentially. How you managed to keep said feelings in bay was a mystery. You could attribute it to knowing Yunho for as long as you did. Maybe he treated everyone nice and politely like that. It was hard not to keep your hopes up sometimes and it really made you frustrated.
“A chalet?” You repeat. “What’s the occasion?”
“Just a weekend out”, your brother replies. “A couple of friends will be coming. You know them, including Yunho.”
“Are you going?” Yunho suddenly asks.
You break eye contact with Yunho, going back to your phone. “No. I’m going on a date.”
Yunho’s eyes widen. There is a flash of panic that flickers in his eyes. His words spill out of him before he realises it.
“With who? How come I didn’t know?”
You cast a confused glance at him. “Why would you need to know?”
That was when Yunho realises, and he simmers down, going back to hiding behind his phone screen. He bites his tongue, hoping you nor your brother ha caught on. But thankfully, no one else questions him. In fact, your brother doubles down.
“Yeah, you didn’t tell me?” Your brother echos.
“As if you’re interested in my love life”, you playfully retort, rolling your eyes before you disappear into your room, before Yunho starts to hear your heartbeat right in your ears again.
Yunho stares blankly at his phone, still processing that you’ll be going on a date. Something sits uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach. He’s running his brain, thinking of a million ways to make you cancel the date, half of it under the pretence of your brother. How could he do it without making it obvious?
“And why would I cancel my date, Jeong Yunho?” You ask, your arms crossed. For some reason, your brother and Yunho were suddenly way too interested in your date. Especially Yunho. He would not get off your back about it.
“It’s dangerous? Who knows he might be a serial killer!” He was really dramatic about too, might you add.
You scoff, and an amused smile tugs the corner of your lips, as your hand reaches out to pat his cheek. “I’ll be fine, Yun. You’re on my speed dial if anything happens okay?”
For a moment, you feel his gaze piercing right into you, as if time didn’t exist—the both of you caught in between each other’s gazes, Yunho looking like he wants to say something, but he stops himself. You quickly break the eye contact, remembering that he’s your brother’s best friend, and that Yunho is just being as worried as your brother. Nothing more than that. Yunho wants to hold the gaze longer. He almost wants to break the imaginary boundaries then both of you set, but he snaps into to reality when he watches you leave, his voice trapped in his throat.
Fuck. Looks like he’s the one losing now.
It doesn’t help that during that night, you slip into his dreams, and instead of you leaving, he has your face in his hands, and your lips are on his. He feels you in your entirety, and you feel so fucking good pressed against him. Yunho wants so badly to mark every part of you, to remind you he could do so much better than whoever you’re supposedly going out with. He could kiss you better, fuck you better. Then it switches—to you in front of him, your ass bouncing off his cock, loud smacks echoing from the walls as he sinks into your pussy with a broken sigh.
That’s when he fucking jolts awake, warm fluids streaming down his thighs, as he swallows an imaginary mass in his throat because what the fuck just happened? He stares blankly at the white ceiling of his room, mind as blank.
How fucked is he?
Yunho reaches to the doorstep of the chalet, almost close to midnight. Dance practice had bleed past the time, later than he thought. He greets his friends at the barbecue pit, still grilling chicken and seafood, stealing a stick and getting playfully hit before he enters the chalet itself.
Your brother sat there, comfortable with his girlfriend’s legs crossed over his lap as they had joycons in their hands, playing some kind of co-op game together. His friend turns to him, before his eye dart back to the screen once he acknowledges Yunho, much too engrossed with the level he and his girlfriend was at.
“Your room’s to the left of the stairs. I hung your lanyard there”, your brother says, before his attention goes right back to the game. For a spilt second, he suddenly remembers that he wanted to tell Yunho something, something important, but when his girlfriend squeals at clearing the level, the thought is completely erased from his memory.
Yunho climbs up the stairs, pushes the door open, and completely stops in his tracks as his gaze locks with yours. You’re seated on the bed, relaxed and on your phone until the door suddenly pushes open, and Yunho stands there, looking as bewildered as you.
There is a long moment of silence between the both of you.
“Can I help you, Yunho?” You break it.
“No…isn’t this my room?” Yunho clarifies. You glance around and shrug.
Yunho drops his bag, his heart beating loudly in his chest.
His eyebrows furrow, confusion sprawled across his face.
“Hold on. Weren’t you suppose to be on a date?”
You shrug again. “Yeah. It ended early. I thought of finding my brother and he asked me to use this room since it was vacant. I supposed he forgot to tell you? I could leave if-“
“N-no. You can stay, since you’re already here”, Yunho cuts you off. No fucking way is he wasting this chance. Somehow the thought of you within the same, close proximity is making his head dizzy. “You’re okay with sharing the bed? I can sleep downstairs.”
Your face starts to heat up. As much as it was the elephant in the room, for Yunho to bring up so straightforwardly like that was making your mind wander a little too close to the sun.
You force a small smile. “It’s fine. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.” Well, not a lie, the only thing was that the both of you were blacked out drunk when it happened that one time.
Yunho’s signature smile appears. He looks comforted, at least. “Right. Then I’ll use the bathroom to wash up.” He grabs a spare towel on the rack, then walks back to dig for his clothes in his duffle before he disappears into the bathroom, leaving you with your messy thoughts. Your hand is over your heart, and you feel it beating a little too wildly.
Nothing’s gonna happen. Two people of the opposite sex can share a bed just fine, is what you tell yourself. Yeah, that would have been the case, if the opposite gender wasn’t Jeon Yunho.
Fifteen minutes felt like fifteen years in all honesty. The anxiety wouldn’t simmer down, so you end up burying yourself underneath the cold sheets, hoping that you’d end up falling asleep.
And by some miracle, you did. That is, until you feel the mattress weigh down, and shuffling on the sheets, then something bumping against your leg. You stir slightly from the disruption.
“Sorry. The bed’s a little…cramped”, you hear Yunho’s voice tickling your ears as his legs press against yours.
You stay silent, the only things that you hear are the whirling of the air conditioning and the sound of your heart about to fucking burst from your rib cage.
“It’s fine”, you finally reply, your body completely still, unsure how actually close the male is against you, only his legs pressed up against the back of your knees and his arms are barely touching your back as a gauge. Well, you weren’t in the mood to find out. The myriad amount of assurances you repeat to yourself that he’s just a friend, that he’s just Jeon Yunho, does nothing to comfort you to say the least.
You hear his voice ring a little to close to your ears again. “How was your date?”
You don’t want to answer, your eyes are focused onto the darkness of the door in front of you. You fear that he might hear your thoughts if you speak, even though that’s literally impossible.
“It was fine”, you curtly reply, squeezing the spare pillow in your arms.
“What did you think of him?”
“I think he’s okay. He’s quite a decent guy. Then again, it’s just the first date”.
The mattress shifts suddenly and you freeze when you feel him inch even closer to you. You have no clue what expression he’s making but from the way he suddenly shifts rather dramatically, you would assume that he seemed shocked?
Oh, you were definitely about to find out.
“You’re planning to see him again?” He’s closer now. You feel his chest almost pressing against your spine. You feel his gaze piercing daggers into the back of your head. You feel his agitation. But over what?
“I haven’t decided on that yet”, you reply. But you cut him before he says anything, “but what’s it to you? You usually don’t care about the things I do. Let alone my dates.”
This time, it’s Yunho’s turn to fall silent. The weight of the mattress beneath you shifts once more it stills. For a moment, you assume that he’d shifted away from you, and maybe he’d let the matter die off.
“Who said I didn’t?”
Now he’s completely pressing his body against you—you feel his lips just a hair’s length from the back of your neck, his chest completely flat against your back.
His crotch right against your ass.
“Yunho-“, you try turning to face him before the both of your start making any mistakes, but his hand presses your waist down, halting any movements you were about to make. Heat is flushing your cheeks.
“I’ll stop if you don’t want to, and I’ll turn away, and sleep downstairs. I won’t force you if you don’t want to.”
Shit, shit, shit. The more words Yunho speak, the more they aren’t registering in your damn head. His voice is melting in your ears, low and dangerous. The consequences that once rang like alarm bells in your head slowly grow muted, and now it’s just your carnal desire to let Yunho do whatever he wanted to you.
“I’m not doing this without your consent, my dear”, he reminds , and his hand is slowly trailing off your body.
All the repercussions, completely wiped off when your feelings that you once tried to fucking hard to suppress behind to bubble up to the surface, and for Yunho to just summon them so easily when he says it so gently and with such temptation.
But you should still probably stop this-
From the way you’re staying quiet, Yunho is ready to just cut his advances. After all, he’s not interested in making you feel uncomfortable, as much as he wants to just ruin you all for himself. He keeps his breathing light, but his heart is still beating loudly in his chest, bracing himself for the rejection, his hand gradually lifting from your waist, very much reluctantly-
Until he feels your hand cup his.
“I wanna feel you, Yunho”, you answer him, loud enough for him to hear, even though it was only the two of you within the confines of the room.
Yunho feels like he’s not close enough to you, even though the both of you are squeezed together, and his erection is evident—pressing shamelessly against the curve of your ass. It’s driving up the wall.
Another thing he doesn’t expect is the way your fingers curl around his wrist, and you bring him to your braless tits, and he short-circuits when his fingers press against your hard nipples. You curse softly when he rolls them gently against his fingertips, and you lean back against his chest. Yunho takes the chance to kiss your neck down to your shoulders, making you melt all over again.
But he doesn’t want to stay there for long. His cock is just throbbing and it’s overtaking his rationale.
You always offhandedly complimented that Yunho had such long, slender and pretty fingers, and that he made mundane actions—writing, typing—look so attractive.
And now, his fingers are prying your legs to spread open for him.
His fingers dip into the wetness of your soaked folds, and his mind almost completely blanks out for the second time at the way you’re drenched for him.
“Fuck. All of this for me?” He asks rhetorically, as he easily sinks two fingers in, hearing you choke from how his fingers are filling you up so well. The tip of his fingertips press against a spongy spot, and your head tilts back, face so flushed from the pleasure when he begins curl his fingers while in you and while he fucks your wet cunt.
He’s not letting you form any coherent thoughts in your head, not while he’s finger fucking the thoughts right out your poor brain.
“You’re so fucking soft. Shit. I really want to fuck you so fucking bad”, he grunts in your ear, his hips grinding against your ass like a natural instinct to.
“Your cock”, you mutter, struggling to keep your eyes open and mind clear. “Fuck. Need you to fuck me so good.”
Yunho inhales the scent of your hair wash as he peppers bites and kisses down the nape of your neck, smiling when he feels goosebumps spread across your skin.
He’s so tempted. But not yet. He desperate—desperate to see you fucking fall apart just with his fingers.
So he pulls his soaked fingers out, and for a moment, you whine at how empty your cunt feels, just ready to fucking beg him to fuck you with his fingers, his cock, whatever.
He sits up, pushing the thick and heavy blankets aside, tugging your wet bottoms and panties off, giving himself a mental reminder to pocket your panties when he’s done with you.
You’re spread open and perfectly wide for him to admire and drool over. By now, his eyes are pretty much adjusted the darkness, and the both of you are lazy to switch on the nightlight, so he’s definitely able to see your pussy in full view.
“Y-yu-“, your words completely cut off when he plunges two fingers right into your pussy again, filling you up completely. And this time, his other hand is on your clit, fingers rubbing, sending sparks flying beneath your eyelids.
The pleasure makes you buck your hips, and it builds so dangerously quick in your abdomen. The sounds of your pussy growing so fucking wet only encourages Yunho to pick up the pace, catching a rhythm of fucking and rubbing your clit so perfectly that you realise the feeling is growing way too funny.
“Y-Yunho-“ you try again. “Oh god. Feels weird.” Nonetheless, you don’t say it without your eyes rolling back and your abdomen flexing.
“That’s it. Let it go for me, baby. It’ll feel so fucking good.”
Oh fuck. You don’t even register it before it happens—it totally washes over you, and you’re just helplessly submitting to how fucking good this feels as you squirt all over Yunho, your mind swimming in the depths of ecstasy, your moans drowned when Yunho seals your lips shut with his, greedy to just keep them all to himself, and well, also not trying to wake the whole chalet up.
When Yunho pulls back and sees how flushed spent your face looks, he can’t help but sink deeper into his feelings for you. He goes in for another kiss, this time with your mind slowly clearing from the mind-blowing orgasm. Your arms wrap around his neck instantly, pulling him as close as you could, soft moans in between kisses only making him impossibly harder than he already was.
He shifts to lie down on the bed with you again, this time the both of you facing each other. He tugs the hem of your shirt and lugs it over your head, before lowering himself slightly to face your chest. You don’t know how but his pants are somehow kicked off, somewhere on the bed, and he’s bare and so fucking hard when he presses his cock on your pussy.
“Lift your leg for me, babe”, he says, palm sliding on the underside of your thigh as he feels you spread your legs open for him once more.
Yunho rubs his cockhead along your wet fucking folds, before he pushes himself in, a whimper leaving his lips as he bites on your shoulder to stop any loud noises from slipping past his lips.
He pushes himself in even more, and your arms are around his neck once more, light red imprints from your fingernails dig into his skin.
“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Feels like fucking heaven. So fucking tight and soft”, he mutters, eyes so glazed, and arms so tight around you when he finally buries himself into the hilt.
Your mind is complete mush by then—combined with Yunho’s cock that’s stuffed in you and the scent of his hair wash, you swear you were gonna cum for the second time. You knew he probably packed something, but holy fucking shit, you just never thought it would fill you up this fucking good. The rest of your senses slowly start to dull, the feeling of Yunho’s cock almost taking them all away.
“Shit. You’re fucking squeezing me-fuck!-here,” Yunho says, but it comes off as a broken moan. His head is buried into the crook of your neck, and you hear him trying to steady his breath through a slew of curses.
“You wanna move now?” You ask, your fingers combing through his messy locks. Yunho thinks he might have some sort of hair combing fetish with you now.
“Fuck, yes, please,” is all he replies before he pulls out slightly, then thrusting right back in, projecting fucking stars into your eyelids when he fills you up again and again.
You press your head against the pillow, eyes shut from the pleasure. When you find the strength to open them, Yunho’s glazed out expression is what comes into view. He’s looking at you like you’re his fucking treasure.
“Does it feel good? You feel so fucking amazing, y/n.”
“You can’t be asking me that when you’re fucking the thoughts right out of me”, and you squeal when he thrusts into you once more, filling you up to the brim.
“Even better. So my cock will be only the cock you know, right?” He smiles, fighting the urge to roll his eyes when your walls clench around him again.
And when you don’t answer, his hand slithers to your neck, and he squeezes, making you gasp.
“Answer me, pretty.”
“Yes, fuck yes. Don’t need anyone else’s when you’re fucking me so good”, you cry, relishing in the way he’s gradually cutting off your oxygen supply.
His thrusts grow harder and faster, his hands slowly letting go of your throat.
“That’s my good girl.”
And that makes your cunt flutter and pulsate uncontrollably for the second time, only now it’s on his cock this time.
“F-fuck. Oh, that’s it. That’s a good fucking girl, cumming all over my cock like that”, his voice ups a pitch when you fall apart again. “I’m gonna cum. Make sure you’re full and dripping when I’m fucking done with you.”
And when he does, he leaves a whole garden of bites on your chest and shoulders on top of filling your pussy up with his thick and warm cum. You never thought his face would get anymore attractive, but when he cums? You could get addicted to pulling that expression out of him, that’s for sure.
The both of you are panting as your highs wear off, hands still not off each other despite the shared warmth. He’s the first to let go, and you’re about to say something until he turns you around, and it’s then when his cock starts to harden in you. Your heart is beating rapidly again when his cock is filling you up once more, as it slowly displaces his cum that leaks past your sopping hole.
Your hand grabs onto his arm that’s snaking around your waist.
“W-wait. We need to talk about my broth-“, and he hears you whimper when he pushes himself deeper into you, throbbing in you. The way he’s littering kisses down your neck is sending you into a spiral, and now you’re nothing but weak against him, and his fat cock.
“That can wait to tomorrow, babe. I promised that I’ll make sure you’re full and dripping once I’m fucking done with you right? Well, I’m not done fucking you yet.”
#ateez#ateez scenarios#ateez fanfic#ateez imagines#ateez x reader#ateez smut#smut#ateez fic#kpop smut#jeong yunho#y/n x yunho#yunho ateez#ateez jongho#ateez yunho#yunho x reader#yunho smut#Spotify
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──𐙚 brothers best friend - request, club vibes, fluff
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content: JK is yn´s older brothers bestie, clubbing, mini sexual banter, teasing, make out, humping, chest play, confessions , childhood friends 2 lovers, biker JK, movie night, pining mutally, hopeless romantic reader, FLUFF
note from cherry: cloud anonie, this is a lot more cutesy than u requested, but i hope that's okay!!! Mwa!!
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Fleeting, a look of tension is sent your way, a familiar pair of eyes being the messanger
Jungwon is a good older brother; caring, supportive, kind. Even introduced you to his friends, let his two year younger, kind of loser sister hang out too
Talk for hours about video game interests and never really understanding the jokes until she got old enough, still, always sharing a laugh.
His best friend, Jeon Jungkook, is the complete opposite. Someone you have grown up with and always hated the guts of.
A huge ego, sexual jokes, a player who shamelessly stared at every pair of tits he saw, yours included. A guy who, honestly, didn't fit into the working class, grateful life you and Jungwon live.
Somehow, you found a way to enjoy his company, grown acustom to his banter and flirting, adapting to his sense of humor and finding yourself get a little bit excited whenever he announced he would be coming over
Nonetheless, he had always been around. For every birthday after jungwon turned 7, Jungkook was always there. Every holiday, every special dinner, countless weekends, sleepovers, parties, homework.. you name it.
Through the transformation of childhood to embarrasing teenage phases and crushes, now adulthood, young adulthood
22 isn't that grown up yet, Jungkook is closer with 24, however his mind hasn't aged since age 14, not to your understanding
The point is, he has always been there. In your life, your home, your heart.
You still remember when both of you were teens, sitting alone at your dining table and listening to him explain algebra to you,
You didn't understand a word though, distracted by the big brown doe eyes his face came with.
To be completely honest, Jungkook had been your crush from childhood.
Sure, you hated the way he did absolutely everything but you adored it at the same time. Jealous when he talked about his hook ups and that one serious girlfriend he had,
Hurt when he complimented your looks but would call you annoying afterwards
Your brothers cool, older best friend who came over almost every day.
From finding him pretty as a little girl to humping your pillow thinking about his shirtless body as a teen, the way in which Jungkook showed up in your brain always changed with maturity,
It had been clear however, that your attraction to him is more serious than purely physical, given that it had been years
It took a few exes to take your mind off for sure but at the end of the day, you would always come back to wishing the lips on yours would belong to someone else
The someone that's currently in your kitchen, drinking a glass of water and scanning over the miniskirt on your body
"Where are you going?" he asks, leaning his fully tattoed arm against the large kitchen island,
"You sound like Jungwon" you say, gathering up the coat you would wear to shield yourself of this breezy night.
He cocks his head, "i watched you grow up, i think i have every right to sound like that"
"hmm, sure. Going to a bar" you reply, putting on the black high heels next to the front door
Truth be told, you were going to a bar to attempt at meeting someone to leave with.
After years of pining and useless hope in his flirtatious nothingness, enough is enough
Enough of falling over Jungkook.
"A bar? Alone?" his muscular arms cross over his chest, grey tshirt bulging along his flexed bicep,
Was he working out more?
You nod, replying "yep" with a popping p,
He humms,
"Can i join?" his smile is infuriating, innocent and almost making you question if that was a sincere thing to ask, you giggle,
"Seriously? No?"
"A shame. You look sexy, be careful out there" he nods his chin upwards, disappearing into the depths of your brothers bedroom once again.
"He called you sexy, stop kidding me" she exclaims, rolling her eyes and throwing back yet another shot
Going out alone didn't work when you panic dialed your best friend,
The bar bustling with pretty girls and handsome guys entertaining them,
Searching for a manly snack to take home, you double take with every sleeve tatto having guy,
Looking for a piece of Jungkook in each one of them
"It's nothing nayeon really, he's always like this"
She widens her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest,
No bullshit with nayeon, if someone was gonna feed into your thoughts or pull you straight from delusion, it would be her
"No. No its not, he never called you sexy so casually. He didn't make fun of you this time. He said YOU LOOK SEXY" she empathizes the last sentence by tapping her hand on the table, Scoffing with her words
"Okay yeah, but come on?" doubtful about the possibility that he would return your multiple year long feelings, this conversation is seemingly going no where
"What?" She asks, rasing an eyebrow
You take a sip of your untouched mojito,
"If he liked me back, he would have said something. He's jungkook after all yeonie"
the sigh escaping your lips compliments an array of people leaving the club with little whispers and kisses,
Slow, quiet hushes of passion trailing out with them, leaving behind a yearning wish to feel what they must have felt in this moment
Having found love and lust in one place, taking it home, possibly cherishing it
Turning your head back to your best friend in front of you, her face glimmers in the dim light of the bar,
"I think he's been trying to show you for a long time" she says, pausing for a brief second before her face lights up
"Isn't it Jungwon's birthday next week?"
You hum, then tell her that he's planing to go to the club,
"Do you want to join too? He wouldn't mind" you ask, knowing that Jungwon always likes as many people around as possible
She nods happily, giving you her bright smile once again,
"I'd love to. Maybe you should try to get closer to him. Just try, it's gonna be okay"
Advice is often easier to give than to recieve and follow through with, especially when a good friend is on the line
Saving her from the immediate worry of absolutely embarrassing yourself when you attempt to grow closer to kook, you just smile,
"I guess it won't hurt?"
"Yeah," she replies, "maybe it will feel good"
You leave the bar without a man to fulfill a spot that wasn't molded in his shape to begin with
Slowly, the front door closes with minimal noise, only the tv playing from the living room can be heard,
Illuminating the hallway with bright, colorful flashes ever so often, you walk in without your heels and in your closed coat,
Gazing torward the large grey couch, it's occupied by your brother peacefully sleeping on one end, snoring away like it's the best sleep he's ever had
His best friend sitting a bit further, awake and attentive to the movie playing on the screen,
A rom-com you've seen dozens of times
He glances at you with a small smile, patting the space next to him,
"How was the bar?" he asks once you're planted down next to him, a strand tucked behind your ear while you let your eyes dance on the delicate features of his face
"Good, met up with nayeon" your reply only makes him nod in return, silently mustering your body up and down,
You can't tell what's behind this look,
"Movie night?" your question falls naturally to make up for the tense silence between the two of you, having long forgotten about your sibling a mere two meteres apart
Until he mentions him again
"Yeah, but hyung feel asleep as always"
With a small giggle both of you look at him,
"Typical" you say, rolling your eyes
"Wanna join me? It's pretty lonely down here"
There's a moment where his eyes stay lingering on your lips, bottom one tucked under your teeth
"Sure, i'm gonna go change first" he nods again, granting himself premission to gaze at your legs when you walk up the stairs, the silver ring in the corner of his lip now wet from being toyed with,
When you're back down in a comfortable lounge outfit and without your make up, Jungkooks breath stalls,
"Ah! Scared me" he teases, a playful smirk planted on his plump lips,
"Ha ha jeon" the face you make is enough to make him giggle, nose scrunching up and tongue sticking out
"I'm kidding i'm kidding- ouch!" exclaming dramatically while clutching his chest, he makes a fake sobbing noise before breaking out into the same laugh you're captured in,
"I was really joking, you look beautiful" he says, still focused on your bare face,
Without a second thought just hum mockingly, signaling you took it as a joke as much as you are offended
"Sorry, sorry princess" the tone he uses for your nickname is sultry, low and sounds like something you'd always imagined him to say, maybe even to whisper in your ear and make your spine tingle
Every bone in your body goes limp when you feel a muscular arm wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into his firm chest,
His head is tuned to the tv, silently, without a word to utter at last you watch the movie,
Getting comfortable with the position, you're breath is still a little ragged from the sudden move, his hands now playing with strands of your hair, gently moving them around
"What's with the heavy breathing?" he says, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear and pinching your cheek,
His eyes stay on the tv, knowing he wouldn't contain himself at the sight
You're looking up at him, glancing over the tv's reflection in his big, brown eyes,
"No idea what you're talking about" your reply is close to a whisper, still adimiring the man that's holding you near,
He chuckles, patting your head
"So the staring is probably nothing too right? Come on, you're missing the movie princess" his note comes with a little smirk,
You laugh softly, mumbling out your words
"I've seen this movie a million times"
It wasn't the first time you two cuddled either, while watching a movie he used to pull you closer. However, it had been a while since then,
You must have been 18 the last time it had happened, your reaction then no different to the one now
Rosy cheeks and a racing mind, going places far from the reality of simply laying in his arms
Remembering how you told yourself that this is enough, this is all you would want and need,
It didn't stay that way, desire of things to experince with him only growing with each passing moment of proximity
The two characters of the movie kiss and naturally you smile, entraced with the love they share
Entraced with the desire the guy feels, a spark igniting within your heart to feel this type of kiss,
Lost in thought, you don't seem to notice how Jungkook's head has turned so he could look down to your precious smile,
Contemplating wheather or not to just risk it all and pull your chin up for a kiss, upon seeing the way you melt for the love shown on screen, he wanted nothing more but to make you familair with the feeling
Get you used to what he had been wanting to give you for years
His heartbeat increases, thumping with the thought of feeling your little smile against his lips,
You do notice however, how much quicker his heart is beating, pressing your head closer to his chest,
It must be because of the loving scene, after all, once you did look at him, his head had been turned back to the tv
He decided not to risk it all,
if only he had contemplated a little while longer.
Proud, confidently gesturing to the girl he's engaged in a conversation with
He adjusts his leather jacket, leaning on the counter with his back and casually putting his hand in his pocket,
The pretty girl in front of him smiles, tracing her fingers on his arm
You're left dumbfoundedly looking at nayeon,
"See?" you say, a sad smile dripping from your lips
You can barely make out nayeon's reply though the blaring Club music, people pushing torward the bar left and right
She tells you not to worry and come dance,
You agree, turning your head to look at Jungkook one last time, wishing to see him alone or talking to Jungwon
Instead, he's still busy making another woman laugh
Today was supposed to be your last chance at growing closer to him, your time to laugh and dance with him
You were supposed to go home with him, kissing him wildly at your doorstep and hiding from your disapproving brother
Now, you're swaying your hips with a random guy you haven't seen the face of, searching for your older brother in the crowd
Nayeon is dancing with her boyfriend, giggling, holding his hand that are placed on her hips,
You wanted that to be you tonight,
Jungwon sees you and smiles, assuming you finally let someone near you after being alone for a while,
He does judge the guy, letting you know that he's keeping an eye out for you, before he turns back to conversing with his friends
The music grows louder and so does the feeling of sadness that's being chased away by alcohol and strangers around you
Meanwhile,
"Oh there she is" he smiles, nodding towards you, he could only make out your hair from the back, long and silky as it sways with the music
"Ahh, wow she's pretty" the girl says, giving Jungkook a thumbs up
"Who is?" Another girl chimes in, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend that had been talking to Jungkook the past ten minutes,
An old friend he met coincidentally while she's clubbing with her partner
"His crush, the girl over there" she signals, pointing her finger to your figure, dancing with the guy you haven't met
With his replacement, his never fulfilling replacement
"Oh wow she is but, who's that guy?"
Jungkook's eyes fall, smile turning into a clenching jaw, moving his body up immediately to get a better view
A view he didn't like seeing,
You looked absolutely gorgeous, a short, soft pink dress draping down your body, stopping mid thigh
The curve of your waist perfectly on display, light pink blush on your cheeks only adding to the glow you extent,
But your face doesn't match, he doesn't find the same glow radiating from it as he does from your body
"I gotta go, have fun minnie, you too!" He shouts while looking back, already pushing his way through the mass of people just to get to you,
You spot him too, alone, smiling with a worried expression when you make eye contact,
He snatches you away from the guy while pulling your hands in torward him, sneaking his arms around your waist
"You okay?" he asks, gently swaying the two of you around,
Your heart lights up, already sewing itself together with what you believe to be false hope
Still, your hands press on his shoulders, moving your hips to the music
The alcohol in your system not nearly enough to have gotten you tipsy
"Yeah. Why?" you reply, smiling at the way his eyes seem so focused on your face,
He glows beneath the colorful lights,
"You look sad dancing with that dude" he explains, pulling you in a little closer
A smile hits your face again, you love that he noticed, you love that he watched you
"I was sad you were busy"
The boldness of your claim takes him by surpirse, chuckling at the unusual comment
He didn't know if you were serious, but he wanted to keep playing your game
"I was talking to my friend, waiting for you actually" he winks, spining you around once before you stumble against his chest,
"Oh yeah?" You laugh, focused on his little foot movements, the dance is becoming second nature, much like your back and forth
everyone disappears when he smiles down to you,
"Yeah, she and her girlfriend said you look pretty. We all agreed on that, maybe we do have a lot in common"
Suddenly, the weight of a thousand stones have been lifted from your heart,
A fresh breeze blooms within it, filling you with what you can only call confidence and hope,
Although it feels more secure than hope, almost evidently factual,
Both of you realized it in that very glimpse
"Wanna get out of here?" he whispers into your ear, having wrapped both of his arms around you, pulling you flush to his chest
You nod, biting back a grin you have waited to unleash
He returns it, taking your hand and rushing outside the club
From the corner of your eye you see jungwon shaking his head,
"Took them long enough" he tells nayeon
She smiles, sighing
"I know right"
Once the night has quieted down from outside of the busy club, only small street lights and some pedestrians are around
Even the music is almost completely deaf to your ears, a faint melody playing in what you wouldn't need to remember
He takes you by the hips, pulling you closer to his body,
"You know what this means i hope" he says, running his tongue over his lips,
you did, you knew the moment both of you smiled at each other after the relief of the truth,
You had waited your time, it was now finally your turn to collide
"What do you mean ?"
He snarks, tilting your chin up to him with a sincere look
Knowing you just needed him to say it,
"I love you. I've liked you for years, but i think today we were meant to connect"
The soft kiss he places on your longing lips seals his sincerity, moving slowly against you in a rhythm you've dreamed of
He feels like home, he feels like years spent were worth this one kiss
You kiss him back, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer,
"I love you too" you mumble, losing the words to a kiss that had spoken for you before you did,
"I know" he says, resting his forhead on yours with an unsteady breath, you can't help but scoff at his cocky tone
He just laughs in return, capturing your lips in another kiss of the same kind
"Wanna ride home with me?" he asks, clasping his hand in with yours and already walking along the rocky road
"On your bike?" you're snapping to look at him, glimmering with excitment
It has been one of your teenage dreams to ride on his bike with him, wrapping your arms around his waist and just feeling the freedom of the trust you have in him
His heartthrob allure only growing after he had gotten his license at 17
He says yes, stopping in front of the black, sleek looking bike,
"But it's late kook"
Without missing a beat,
"Stay the night. I've slept over a million times. I can sleep on the guest bed if you want me to"
Your cheeks fill with heat, turning your head sideways to hide your excitement
Still, he catches it, cupping your face to turn you back towards his loving eyes,
"So?"
You grin, "hell yes"
"Okay, you need to hold on tight" his head is covered by the large helmet, leather jacket zipped up all the way to the top,
Like a scene from a movie, your hair flows with the wind, hands tightening around his waist when he begins driving, not to slow, not too fast
"Feels so nice!" You shout, closing you eyes to indulge in this new found satisfaction,
He chuckles, shouting back
"Right? I'll drive you anywhere baby!" the sweetness of his voice doesn't feel forgein or like he's jumping ahead
It all falls together perfectly, like it had always been this way
Arrving at his front door a couple minutes later, he takes off the helmet and assists your leave from the bike
Unlocking the door and getting rid of the thick jacket, he stares at your revealing dress, this time, all of his sense fully able to concentrate on you
"Are you cold? You look stunning, by the way, in case you couldn't tell from how i can't stop looking" he takes his hands to run down your sides again, placing a small kiss on your nose,
"Thank you, i know i don't have to tell you, but you look really good too" you say, caressing his face with your hands,
He notes you didn't answer his question but he doesn't push, leading you to his couch to wrap you up comfortably either way
"I do know, but it's different when my girl says it" he mutters against your lips while he places you down on the couch, climbing to hover over you
Your lips move on their very own, focused on chasing after the love in his kisses, softly humming while playing with his hair
He sneaks his tongue into your mouth, wrapping it around yours and causing for a deeper kiss,
You take it, moaning softly into it and then you play with his bottom lip, swiping your tongue across the small metal ring,
"You're my girl, you know that, right princess?"
his hands wander to your arms, caressing them while his lips move to kiss down your neck, leaving traces of wet spots and little bruises on your soft skin
Moaning in pleasure and happiness, this feeling is what you've been longing for,
It's him, he is what you were missing
It's you, it's you he needed all along
"Yours, wanted it for so long" you mumble out, getting lost in the feeling of his warmth all over you,
You can feel him smile against your neck, his head lifts to look you directly into the eyes
He's a little blushed out, lips swollen and glazed and his pretty hair is slightly messed up
One of his hands makes its way to your face, grazing his thumb over your cheek and bottom lip
"Me too, i first realized when i was 17. You were so pretty and just so.. you. It only got worse by the day" he says, although he's slightly breathy in his voice, the statement is firm
Your heart jumps, you are you
And that was enough for him
When he shifts in the couch to be more comfortable, his hips press into yours
The barrier of your thin dress not nearly enough to stop feeling his bulge inside the jeans he's wearing,
You let out a small whimper just as he groans, quickly you hide under your hands
"Oh god i-i-m sorry" you stutter out but he makes it known he didn't mind, prying your hands away immediately
"It's okay pretty, you sound cute. Are you okay with this? If we're moving too fast-"
"Please?" your whine is soft; a plea to feel him more,
He smiles, kissing you with grace and lust,
"Anything for you"
Slowly, the bulge in his pants presses into you again, his hips roll into your heat carefully, the friction immediately eliciting small groans and whimpers from your mouths,
You kiss him again, moving your hands under his shirt to touch his abs while you continue cherishing his closeness, growing wetter by the second
He takes every little moan, starting to groan himself and growing more eager, more rapid with his movements,
"So pretty, can i touch your chest baby?" he whispers against your lips, opening his eyes to watch your tits move with every roll to your core, breath fanning over your lips as ragged as yours
"Mhh, yes, please kook"
His hands occupy themselves immediately, pulling down the straps of your dress and releasing them from the cups of your bra,
He takes a second to stare, listening to your little pleas while your face is glazed with pleasure and your exposed chest moves with you,
"You're a dream" he keeps pressing small kisses to your lips, hands now working against your chest.
Squeezing the flesh, rolling his fingers over your nipples
The moans from your mouth are now rapid, your clit overwhelmingly pleased with friction and the knot in your lower abdomen close to snapping,
"Feels so good kook, gonna cum" you whisper, pulling him into a deeper kiss by the neck,
"Cum for me pretty, doing so good" he says in that airy low voice and it only takes two more pushes to make you release into your soaked panties
He stops his hips slowly, listening to your little whimpers and collecting his breath
"Felt.. so good.." he mutters into your hair, pressing little kisses to your scalp
"Mhm.. you didn't cum did you?" your question seems almost absurd to him
He chuckles, looking at your pretty face under him,
"I did. I came like a teen in my boxers, i mean god look at you"
You laugh sweetly, kissing his cheek, he returns it shortly after
"Reminds me of when i once stole your shirt from jungwons room to masturbate with"
Shamelessly admitting to one of your most down- bad moments, knowing you wouldn't be judged
He gasps, sitting you up with him,
"Oh my god, i stole your panties once!" he laughs, your eyes widen in shock as you begin laughing with him
"The stuff we did as teens man" you say with a sigh, wrapping yourself in one of the blankets around
He furrows his eyebrows,
"Teens? I did that last year"
Another gasp, this time from you
He pinches your nose, shutting your words of disbelief up with a kiss,
"Shhh shh no more. Let's sleep, I'll give you my shirt, no need to steal them anymore"
You nod, yawning and falling into his arms,
He takes your body right up with him, picking you up to his room, where you'd be sleeping in his clothes, in his arms
Just where you belonged all this time.
#redcherrykook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x you#jungkook fanfic#bts jungkook#bts fanfic#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#brothers best friend
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