#but they definitely never got everything they were entitled to

[sabrielandorangejuice]

For around 6 months when I lived with my friend, and about a year before that, she had a foster child. I can day from personal experience that the Australian foster system could not be more perfectly designed to traumatise children and carers if it tried.

Some context on Australia: from the foundation of the country until the 1960s or 70s it was government policy to take indigenous children from their parents and place them either with White Christian foster parents (if they had fair skin and could ‘assimilate’) or in Christian boarding schools (if they couldn’t pass them off as white). This was called the Stolen Generation and caused a lot of Inter generational trauma as you can imagine. I moved here in 2009 so I don’t know exactly when this started, but I think ~2000 the country/govt started caring very much about Reconciliation, except they care more about looking like Being Seen To Make Amends than actually making anything better.

Some context about my friend: She’s white, she’s the oldest of 6 kids, she’s a teacher. She’s always had an interest in helping disadvantaged kids: those with disabilities, those with behaviour problems. She’s taken courses about how to deal with and help these kinds of children specifically. Her husband is less formally educated but similarly nurturing and has worked in childcare his entire adult life. They were young (mid-20s) and didn’t have kids of their own yet but were otherwise perfectly suited to being foster parents.

The kid that they fostered was a friend of my friends younger brother (15 years between my friend and the kid). The kids parents were separated, and both suffered from the kinds of problems that often affect those in poverty and are very difficult to overcome: addiction, difficulty holding down a job, etc. The kid was living with his dad, who was also a friend of my friends family. The kid was also half-aboriginal.

When the kid was removed from his father he was initially placed in emergency care with my friends parents (and the 3 of her siblings still at home). They weren’t able to keep him long term, but everyone involved agreed it was best to keep him in a kinship placement: aka with people he already knows and trusts. That’s why my friend and her husband stepped up to take him.

They went through the process of becoming registered carers, made easier by the fact that they both already had blue cards (working with children licence). The kid was placed with them and they were told that although kinship placements are best, they had to make sure they were supporting his indigenous heritage and keeping him connected with his culture. My friend agreed, of course that was important, of course they wanted to do that.

I don’t know exactly what happened before I moved in with them, the proper order of events, but I do know this:

This was a 10 year old boy who had been taken from his parents for the second time in his short life. He didn’t have many positive role models. Of course he had behaviour issues. Of course he didn’t trust the new situation, even if he did know his carers this time. My friends were patient with him, they assured him that they wanted to do everything they could to help him, that they loved him. That for as long as he lived with them he was as much a part of their family as my friends parents, her husband, her siblings. It was slow, but they made progress with him.

I know that my friend and her husband let the kid choose what to call them; whether that was mum and dad, auntie and uncle, or just their names. After a while he chose to call them mum and dad. I know that they took him to a youth group for indigenous boys, run by indigenous adults, once a week. I know they wanted to do more, and asked child services for help, to connect them with more people or services, but they never heard back.

Around a month before I moved in with them, the whole family: my friend and her husband, her parents, all her siblings, went on a trip to the neighbouring state for a family wedding. When they started planning the trip, months in advance, they told the kid: we want you to come with us but your mum and dad and child services have to agree. Both the kids parents were fine with it, and told child services that, and child services didn’t raise any concerns, but they also didn’t approve it. “We’re just processing the paperwork” his case worker said, “there shouldn’t be any problems, we’ll get it approved before you go don’t worry”. So my friends told the kid that.

Time went on, child services started saying things like “what are you doing to support his indigenous heritage. You should be doing more to make sure he stays connected to his culture”. They still didn’t give my friend any help with doing that. The holiday still wasn’t approved, or denied. They kept asking and kept being told they were processing it. The kid was so excited about this holiday he was going to go on with his new family!

Im sure you can guess where this is going. 2 or 3 weeks before the trip child services said “you can’t take him out of state. He has to stay close to his family”. It didn’t matter that both his parents had agreed to the trip. It didn’t matter that everything was booked, that my friends were going to the family wedding regardless. It didn’t matter that they had no one to look after him while they were gone, and it was so short notice that they’d struggle to find someone. It didn’t matter that they’d taken so long to decide, and misled them that it would be approved the whole time, that the kid fully believed he would be going on the trip. My friends said he was part of the family! Of course he was going on the family trip! None of that mattered. He couldn’t leave the state.

Now at this point I knew that I’d be moving in with my friend and her husband and the kid just a few weeks after they got back. To do so legally I also needed a blue card, and I needed to submit the details to child services. That’s the law, anyone living in the same house as a child services kid has to do it. So I was in the process of that while the holiday drama happened.

What did they do with the kid while the whole family was away? They placed him with a relative of his mothers. In a house full of people without blue cards. A house full of generationally traumatised people with poor coping mechanisms. When everyone was home he said that they hit him, and the kids father said he knows at least some of the people in the house were drug users. But child services did t care because they were relatives, and more importantly they were aboriginal relatives.

At this point I moved in with them, and so I know all the details. My friend’s family had already been supporting the kids dad to overcome his struggles (things a decent child services should do). After the holiday they realised it was unlikely child services would let my friend keep the kid long term, and that the best place for him to go would be back to his father. So they started helping the dad even more, supporting him in his self-advocacy to child services and supporting him as he sought legal counsel.

I know that child services started getting more aggressive and combative with my friend. I know that it’s because she always advocated for what was actually best for the kid, instead of just shutting up and doing as she was told. The kids case worker came over once every week or two to check up on him. They were supposed to spend a little time with my friend discussing how he’d been, and a lot of time with the kid himself. Asking for his perspective on how things were going and if there was anything he needed. On at least one occasion (but i think more like 2 or 3) I know that instead they sprung a surprise meeting on my friend where they would berate her for not doing things their way, and they wouldn’t speak to the kid at all.

Most damningly I know that the kids trust in my friends was completely broken. I can understand why, they promised he was part of their family, and as the ultimate sign of that he was going on their family trip. Except suddenly 2 weeks before it happens he’s suddenly not going, and instead he has to spend the time alone with extended family he barely knows. I don’t know if he’d even met them before that. And he’s a traumatised 10 year old, he doesn’t know that it wasn’t my friends fault, he just knows that they lied to him.

All the trust they’d gained and all the progress they’d made with his behaviour disappeared instantly, and his behaviour just got worse the entire time I lived with him. At the time I nearly hated him. The only other kids I knew were my friends younger siblings who’d grown up in a supportive loving environment and were accordingly so much nicer. It was just a bad coincidence but the more I got to know him the more abusive he got to. Not usually to me, but to my friends, to his friends, to my cat. My friend and I both had cats, but mine was much younger and more fun to play with, which also meant more vulnerable to the kids ire. Our time living with my friend overlapped for about 6 months and for the last month of it my cat stayed with other friends for his own safety. By the end he would try to hurt either my friends or himself at least once a day and would have to be physically restrained.

When my friends first took the kid in there was talk of keeping him with them until he was 18, possibly even adopting him if they could. When it became clear child services wouldn’t let that happen they wanted to look after him for long enough that he could go back to his dad. Unfortunately though, the stress of dealing with both the kids worsening behaviour and the constant berating from child services, my friend got sick. They told child services they couldn’t look after him anymore, they were no longer the best place for him to be, and eventually they had to issue child services with an ultimatum because even with this they were dragging their feet. I don’t know anything about the next carers the kid ended up with, except that they were both aboriginal.

My friend spent a lot of days in the few months after the kid left bedridden with pain from the stress ulcers she’d developed. It took nearly two years for her to physically recover fully. The kid got a whole new load of trauma, lost a friend (remember this all started because he was friends with my friends brother), and lost a family that cared about both him and his biological parents.

And all because The System didn’t see a little boy in him, they saw a little aboriginal.

How do you think we can make the foster care system better?

Honestly, by making sure as few kids end up in it as possible.

Contrary to popular belief, physical abuse is not the most common reason that kids end up in foster care. Only 13% of kids taken into foster care are there because their parents physically abused them. The biggest reason that kids end up in foster care is actually neglect - neglect is the primary cause of 62% of foster care referrals.

When you look at those numbers, though, it's important to remember that "neglect" doesn't necessarily mean that parents withheld food and necessities from their children because they were careless or lazy or cruel - it often includes parents who desperately want to provide the necessities to their children, but can't afford to do so. Many jurisdictions don’t really make a distinction between kids whose parents purposely starved them and kids whose working parent left them home alone because she couldn’t afford daycare - that makes it hard to really know what we’re dealing with here. 

And you might be surprised to learn what child protective services considers to be "necessary" for children. In most parts of Canada, for instance, it is legally required that children over the age of 5 not share a bedroom with opposite-sex siblings. Having six-year-old fraternal twins share a bedroom would be categorized as neglect; technically, the parent is failing to provide the children with adequate housing. But of course, the genders of your children don't influence how much money you get from your employer or from public assistance. In my area, a mother with a boy and a girl is legally required to rent a larger apartment for her family than a mother with two boys - but it's up to her to find the money to afford that. Partitioning one room or co-sleeping with the children is not allowed, and is also considered neglect. It might sound ridiculous, but I have worked with multiple families that have faced the potential removal of their children because of this, even if family co-sleeping is the norm in their culture.

1 in 10 children in the US foster care system are there at least partially because their parents don’t have adequate housing. Keep in mind, there are 424,000 children in the US foster care system on an average day - that means that housing was a major factor for more than 42,000 of them. Before we can truly reform the system, we need to understand what it is, exactly, that we’ve created - and what we’ve created is an incredibly expensive, inefficient and culturally insensitive system that is stretched so thin by the task of “solving child poverty” that it can’t do what it was actually designed to do, which is protecting abused children. Instead of a child protective system, we have an intergenerational meat grinder that effectively turns traumatized children into traumatized adults who create more traumatized children to go back into the system. Around and around we go. 

The question of how to “fix” foster care could be a doctoral thesis, and it’s a far bigger problem than any one person can solve. But my few cents as someone who has worked with at-risk and homeless youth for nearly a decade now would be:

Dramatically increase affordable housing. Trying to fix child homelessness with foster care is like trying to put out a grease fire with a sledgehammer - it’s not solving the problem, and it’s only causing more damage. Truly affordable housing would keep many families off CPS radar - if affordable housing was available, many victims of family violence would be better able to flee their violent partner with their children. Calls to CPS because families are living in cars or shelters would cease to exist. “Fixing housing” is easier said than done, but I don’t think we’ll ever solve foster care without also addressing this.

Decolonize child welfare standards. In most parts of the US and Canada, child welfare standards adhere closely to Western European parenting practices. Things that other cultures have been doing for generations - like co-sleeping - can land non-white families in trouble with CPS. And there are huge discrepancies in how child welfare standards are applied - wealthy white families can homeschool, deny their children medical treatment and co-sleep without CPS knocking on their doors, but Indigenous families cannot say the same. 

Create universal affordable childcare. Many families needlessly end up on CPS’s radar because their parents cannot afford childcare. Single working moms of colour have found themselves losing their children - or even facing prison time - after leaving their children unsupervised to work or attend job interviews. Compounding the issue is the fact that many working-class parents have shiftwork jobs, making it even harder to secure childcare.

Improve access to free and confidential family planning education and services. People who find themselves with unplanned pregnancies that they are not financially or emotionally ready for are at greater risk of ending up on CPS’s radar. When people are given access to family planning resources, they are better able to delay pregnancy until they feel more prepared. 

Improve wraparound supports and early intervention. Removing a child from a home is - and should always be - a last resort. CPS are often alerted to at-risk families before they reach the point where removal is required. To truly do their job of protecting children, CPS needs more resources to offer these families in order to help them stay together in a healthier way. Culturally sensitive in-home and community-based supports, including mental health supports, addictions supports, and material supports, should be immediately available to all families who are potentially at risk. 

Offer greater support for placements within families or communities of origin. Sometimes parents unfortunately just aren’t a healthy or safe option for their children. There are always going to be cases where that’s simply the reality of the situation. Many of these children, though, may have a family member who would be willing to take them in with the proper supports - which they can’t afford on their own. Offering more resources to family placements could help a lot of children stay within their families of origin instead of being sent to live with strangers. Likewise, many children from small communities - particularly Indigenous communities - end up being sent hundreds of miles away for foster care placements because the resources for them simply don’t exist in their communities. Ending this practice and committing to caring for children in their own community would help children grow up more connected to their roots and culture.

Decrease CPS worker caseloads. Many of the systemic issues with the foster care system stem, at least in part, from how abysmally and unbelievably overburdened the system is. There are too few workers and placements for far too many kids. In the US, the average CPS caseworker has 67 children on their caseload - in six states, the average is over 100. Nobody can provide adequate care to a caseload of 67 children, many of whom may have complicated cases. It’s just not possible. The workload contributes to the immense amounts of burnout and high turnover within child services - the average turnover rate (how many staff quit every year) for most agencies is 23-60%, with some agencies actually exceeding 90% annual turnover. We have a system of new, inexperienced workers burning out and passing on their enormous caseloads to newer, even less experienced workers and everyone is worse for it.

Provide more training, resources and support for foster parents. Many of the children entering foster care have complex trauma, as well as complex mental or physical health needs. Some areas do a better job of preparing foster parents for this reality than others - and everyone suffers when foster parents don’t have the resources and education that they need to meet children’s needs. 

Extend aftercare supports well into adulthood. Many youth make an abrupt exit from foster care - at some point between age 18-21 they suddenly “age out” of supports. Some areas do offer supports that extend into a youth’s early 20s, but many of these areas require youth to be full-time post-secondary students to continue receiving support - youth who aren’t able to take that step often have no support, despite perhaps needing it the most. Outcomes for former foster children are bleak; only around 55% finish high school (compared to 87% of their peers), and in Canada, as many as 90% are on welfare within 6 months of aging out of care. Realistically, as it becomes more difficult for young people to achieve financial independence, many of these kids may need support that extends well into their late 20s and beyond. 

This is just barely skimming the surface of what needs to change - there is so much that’s wrong, and I’ve barely touched on how to fix it. But when it comes to foster care, I really believe that an ounce of prevention is worth 100lbs of cure.

MM

[chuluoyi]

✎ throughout heaven and earth

- gojo satoru x reader

a sudden mission. a curse beyond your grade. all hell breaks loose when gojo realizes that there are hidden machinations behind the incident that befalls you

genre: feral!gojo, injured!reader, hurt/comfort, exponential fluff !

note: we need a gojo who will go ballistic against the higher-ups for dragging you in their mess :) refer to this for the reader's CT, and this loosely takes place after the events in heaven's fury, and the epilogue is based on this very brilliant idea :))

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

Something isn’t right.

You should’ve known it was strange when they assigned you with a sudden mission with little to no briefing. You should’ve gone through with your gut feeling and informed Satoru about it.

Because if you did... now you wouldn’t be running for your life like this, frantically dodging the hacks and slashes of this chainsaw-like cursed spirit that was evidently not a Grade 2 as what you were told.

“Ah!” you yelped as the sharp ends of its body struck your shoulder, leaving you bleeding openly. This was no small wound—it was deep enough to make you stagger.

You had to do something about this because merely avoiding wouldn’t save your life. You had to come back in one piece. You have to— for your baby and Satoru.

What if I can’t? The sheer thought made you tremble. Your baby boy was still so little and he needed you more than anyone, and Satoru...

God, you couldn’t bear to leave him alone. Not again. He couldn't handle losing someone again, not after all he had already lost.

You gripped your whip—your cursed weapon—tightly amidst your bleeding hand. You had barely enough cursed energy for a domain expansion that guaranteed a sure-hit effect. You have one shot. This was all or nothing.

But you weren’t sure if it would work, because you were on the verge of exhaustion, and this was a special grade curse. Your domain expansion was definitely not as refined as the Satoru’s, and this monster was an enemy of his class.

“Satoru...” your voice came out in a sob. You were terribly scared, and honestly you were entitled to. You weren’t even sure you would survive this at all, and all you could think now was your husband’s silly grin and how much you loved him.

And right afterwards, you saw the cursed spirit lunging at you, and with everything left that you had, you screamed—

“Domain Expansion: Transcendent Veil!”

“Gojo-sensei, p-please come back... Nee-san is...!”

Satoru was in Kyoto when he received that call from Megumi— and that moment shattered his world as he knew it.

“Megumi, what is it?”

“She w-was sent on a mission... but then it's a special grade— a-and... she... she e-exorcised it b-but—!”

He teleported without second thought to Tokyo. His mind was blank, the only sound he could hear was his own violent heartbeats, and his fists were clenched so tightly.

“The cursed spirit got her too… It made a cut on her neck.”

His most precious wife... the one person he must protect at all cost, was now possibly—

“Megumi.” He saw him sitting on the hallway of the headquarters’ hospital the with his son on his lap—you had asked him to look after your baby—and the boy looked up to him.

“Gojo-sensei...” Megumi appeared shaken, and seeing that, Satoru immediately took his child from his hands, pulling the little kid into his embrace.

“Go back home, I’ll stay here.”

In all his life, Megumi had never seen Gojo Satoru as calm as he was now. He looked fearsome, as if he was in the battlefield.

“Ichiji.” Satoru turned to the other man rigidly standing next to Megumi, causing him to stiffen up even more. He didn’t say anything further as he pat his little son’s back, and yet Ichiji knew all the same what he wanted from him.

“It’s from… the higher ups, Gojo-san.” Ichiji gulped as he said it. “Y/N-san was suddenly called in yesterday night, and she was told it was an urgent mission.”

“Who called her?”

“It was…”

When Ichiji told him the name, suddenly Satoru barked a snort, and his lips curled into a manic grin. It was a menacing sight for both Ichiji and Megumi, as he looked almost unhinged if not for his secure grip on his son.

But contrary to what they were thinking, what filled Satoru at that moment was pure, unadulterated fury. A righteous sense of being crossed—because, how fucking dare they?

Those higher ups first pressed him to execute Yuji, and when he paid them no mind… now they staged this atrocity against you, most definitely to serve as a warning to him.

“Ichiji, tell them that I’ll pay a visit tomorrow. And drive Megumi home tonight.”

He would make his point loud and clear. He would show them how wrong it was to ever test him. But…

The plan barely satisfied him. They hurt you. His heart finally lurched as he processed the fact… when he heard his baby’s soft whimper against his shoulder.

. . .

You sustained serious injuries, but finally, you were out of critical condition.

When Satoru was allowed to see you, you were still connected to many monitors and breathing machine. He brought your baby too inside, and upon clearly seeing both of them, suddenly your eyes welled up with tears.

“Hey…” his hand gripped yours reassuringly. You sniffled when the strain of your broken ribs made you almost cry out in pain, and Satoru immediately calmed you down.

“Sweets— hey, don’t cry, yeah? You did good.” He pressed a soft kiss on the back of your hand. “You did freaking good. You’re okay now. You’re going to recover, yeah?”

You gave him a tearful little nod, feeling so grateful that you could see him again. And unbeknownst to you, seeing you like this broke his heart too.

“Mwa...” your baby, cradled in your husband’s arms, suddenly stretched his tiny hands towards you, and Satoru handed him over for you to hold.

With the little strength you possessed, you reached out to stroke his soft cheeks. Your son... the thought of how close you came to death brought another tear rolling down your cheek.

All sort of thoughts went through Satoru’s head at the sight. His wife, the mother of his son, who is proud of him for everything he does—

—and their sorry asses dared to hurt you.

Suddenly all he saw was red.

And he swore he would make it right to you. Soon.

“Ah, Satoru-kun… to what I owe the pleasure?”

“…I’ve heard that it was you who assigned that special grade mission to my wife, correct?”

“Oh, that. First of all, I must apologize for my... oversight. We were misinformed... Our scouts made a mistake while filling the files.”

Satoru was trying not to lose his composure first thing after coming here. Really.

But the knowing tone of the elderly Jujutsu Commander only fueled his rage, growing stronger the longer he stood behind this stupid paper divider.

“So it’s a mistake, huh?” he repeated in a satire manner. “Then do you know that my wife has just gotten out of her maternity leave this week?”

The man behind the divider chuckled quietly. “Satoru-kun… I know the sentiment. Of course you’ll be worried, and it did end in a rather… unfortunate incident. However, jujutsu sorcerers are bound to their duty, and your wife cannot rely too heavily on her status as a member of the Gojo clan to be excluded from—”

Fuck it. He had no patience any longer.

“Seems like I need to be a lot rougher, after all.”

Suddenly the room crackled with electricity and the Jujutsu Commander gasped at the sense of foreboding he felt. “Gojo, you can’t—!”

“Heh, but I can.” He let out the most satisfied laugh before opening his palm and chanting in a lower voice: “Cursed Technique Lapse: Blue.”

In a matter of seconds, the audience chamber of jujutsu headquarters turned into a pile of destruction. The commander barely made it out the deadly vacuum vortex with a shriek.

“Ah! N-no! Get a-away from me!” Satoru stared down at him coldly through his unobstructed heavenly eyes, as he pitifully tried to crawl away. He took one step towards him, stomped on his hand ruthlessly—causing the man to scream, before he got down to his level.

“N-no! Please, s-spare me...!”

“This is my first and last warning to you.” It was beyond terrifying, to see those six eyes in this close proximity. But even more dreadful was the tight chokehold on his throat—

“If you ever try to pull this idiotic stunt again on my wife, know that I can and I will snap your neck.” Satoru’s face split into a sinister grin as he tapped the man’s nape, before he crushed the bones of his hand with a crack and made him howl. “Remember that, yeah?”

. . . that day, none in jujutsu headquarters dared to spread any word about Gojo Satoru’s outrageous conduct, even when it was an attack against their own highest ranking leader.

“Satoru, you don’t have to, really—”

“Nuh, uh! I’ve promised you I’ll nurse you back to health!”

Unaware of anything and everything, you thought that your loving husband was a silly jester trying to make you feel better. On the fifth day of your stay in hospital, you were well enough to eat solid food, and Satoru insisted on spoon feeding you the fruits he cut himself.

“Good girl,” he praised with a wholly playful smile as you chewed on the watermelon. You looked at him with a mock frown, pursing your lips.

“You’re making me look like a kid.”

“You are, in fact, my second kid, so I have all rights to baby you.”

You let out a giggle, but then suddenly your throat felt like it was closing in and you coughed. Instinctively, you reached for your neck— your fingers tracing the scar there.

You still could remember the sense of paralyzing fear you felt as soon as your neck was cut. The heavy bleeding that followed, the way the world blacking out around you…

“Sweets…?” Satoru put down the plate and got a grip on your trembling figure. He gently pushed your chin up to meet his eyes. “Hey, look at me. Look at me, hmm?”

Your frantic eyes locked onto his, and your rapid breathing steadied. Your clammy hand reached out to touch his face... before you lunged forward, throwing your arms around him.

“Sweetheart…” Satoru hugged you back in return, sighing against the nape on your neck, as he planted a soft kiss there.

You tried your best not to cry but it was hard not to while remembering everything.

“I-I was so scared…”

“Mhm.”

“I-I kept thinking… w-what if I c-can’t see you… or baby again…? I… I s-still want to do a lot of… things… w-with you…”

The way you shook in his arms like a fragile leaf made something inside him burn. He was supposed to provide you with security, give you a life far removed from curses—

Having left that warning against the higher-ups wasn’t enough, he should’ve made him beg for his life more—

“Listen to me,” Satoru said as he broke the hug, the deep frown in his grave expression made you almost sob. He gently wiped your overflowing tears with the pads of his thumbs.

“Stop thinking that. You’re alright. You’re going to get better. You and me—we are going to raise our son together.”

You took in each of his words fully, even as your lips quivered.

“And mark my words…” Right in this moment, you thought that your husband was most dashing as he gave you his promises—as his blue eyes glimmered under the light. “They won’t ever lay their hands on you ever again. Not while I’m here. Not ever. I already made sure of that.”

You were curious about what he did, but you chose not to press further when Satoru leaned in suddenly and brushed his lips against yours in a soft kiss, melting your heart into mush.

When he pulled away, it was his usual teasing grin on his handsome face. “Now, I only have one duty left— that is to get my cute wife back on her feet. So, be a good little wifey and have lots of fruits and sleep, okay?”

You giggled freely this time, feeling tremendously safe and loved, and instead of answering, you chose to peck his lips instead— hoping that he’d know that you trusted him with your whole life.

. . .

“By the way… Satoru, where’s our baby?” you missed your pumpkin, and while being with your funny husband lifted your spirits, you wanted to cuddle him too.

He chuckled in response. “Ah! Since Megumi is on an assignment, I left him with Ichiji earlier! Don’t worry, I’ll come pick him up soon, ‘kay?”

Epilogue

“I’m going out for a bit, and if you ever make him upset or cry… I can and I will sense it! So Ichiji—do your best!”

“Bwa…”

“Eeek!”

Ichiji stared at Baby Gojo with literal sweat on his forehead, as the little being curiously looked up at him.

By all means, this baby was adorable. Even more so when his father dressed him in a shark onesie. It was a peculiar choice—just like any of Gojo’s choices were—but it sure made the baby look even more endearing.

But the thing is… he didn’t feel secure enough to hold him! Especially when he didn’t know if Gojo’s claim of telepathic connection with his son was true or not!

Amidst his thoughts, suddenly Ichiji felt a soft touch on his arm and immediately turned to find the little munchkin putting his little hand on him and staring at him with such pureness unbefitting of Gojo Satoru’s son.

How can this baby be a stark contrast to his father? Ichiji was almost tempted to snuggle him, but he knew better.

“O-oh… d-don’t touch me…”

And as he retracted his hand back, the baby suddenly widened his eyes, feeling betrayed apparently, as his little lips wobbled and face scrunched up, so ready to burst into tears—

“Hic…”

“—!! Nooo! Don’t cry! Your father will fry me! Eeek!!”

[moonstruckme]

Hey love, im back to plague you with another idea...

A situationship / budding relationship james x reader where shes the Black brothers sister, but every time one of them catchs the two of them alone they physically pick her up and just walk away with that menacing Black stare.

Tysm love x

Thanks for requesting sweetheart!

James Potter x Black!reader ♡ 911 words

“Do you really think this is the best place to hang out?” you ask James, eyeing the closet in his dorm as if you’re brother’s going to come popping out. 

���It’ll be fine,” he promises you in that optimistic, sure-footed way of his. 

From the way Regulus had talked about Sirius’ friends at Hogwarts, you’d expected James to be insufferable. Arrogant, entitled, the true embodiment of the mask your oldest brother puts on when he’s here at school. But you’d discovered when you’d arrived that Sirius’ goofy friend wasn’t the James Potter you were warned about. He was self-assured, certainly. Confident, but in the years you’ve known him it’s never seemed like anything more sinister than that. James doesn’t walk into every room like he owns it; he walks in like it’s home. He brings that everywhere with him—that feeling of home, of belonging. It seeps into you when you’re with him, and to your brother’s acute repugnance, you’re with him more and more these days. 

“Remus is off with Lily, and Sirius got pulled aside by coach after practice, so he’ll be on the pitch running drills for a good hour yet,” James goes on. He sits down on his bed, and you follow suit. “Plus, your dorm is occupied and this is the only other semi-private place I could think of.” His smile goes a bit sheepish as he shrugs, one-shouldered and boyish. 

You catch his meaning—the privacy carries implications neither of you are ready to act on—and you’ve got no reason to feel awkward about that but a nervous laugh fizzes up out of you anyway. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” you admit. Though Sirius is far from unaware of this blossoming whatever between you and James, neither of you are keen on him finding out through the grapevine that you were seen canoodling in the hallways. Privacy is ideal. “So, I’m guessing practice went better for you than it did for him?” 

James shrugs again, the show of humility making you both grin. You can never seem to stop doing that around him. “Yeah,” he says, “practice for a seeker is pretty straightforward. Less strategy to it, so I guess I got off easy.” 

“You make it sound like Sirius isn’t just hitting things with a bat,” you deadpan, and he laughs. The sound feels like sunbeams shooting straight into your gut. 

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” he hedges. “But hey, are you coming to the party after the match on Saturday?” 

“Is there still going to be a party if you lose?” 

James fixes you with a look. “We never lose, sweetheart.” 

Another giggle bubbles out of you, though the joke isn’t really that hilarious. You secretly love when James calls you names like that. It makes your heart do all sorts of funny, acrobatic things. You don’t love that it’s probably not so secret, and he can almost definitely tell. His eyes go warm now, a knowing smile playing on the corner of his mouth. 

“Yeah,” you say, “I’ll think about it.” 

“You should come,” he encourages, leaning his hands back on the mattress. You very pointedly do not let your eyes linger on his forearms as he does so. “It’d make me happy to see you there.” 

“You’re always happy,” you tease. 

“That’s because you only see me when I’m seeing you.” You must look confused, because James’ clarifies, voice softening slightly, “I can’t help but be happy when I’m with you, sweetheart.” 

The combined effect of the words, the tone of his voice, the sweet way he’s looking at you—it starts up more than butterflies in your stomach. There’s got to be a whole ecosystem in there by now, with buzzing bees and jumping frogs and everything. You look down, a half-hearted effort to hide the smile that takes you.

“James,” you murmur, lightly chiding. 

The door comes open, and your brother’s eyes widen as they take in you on James’ bed, his hand an inch away from your leg and both of you looking terribly caught. Then they narrow. 

“James Potter, zip your pants back up right this instant!” 

“Sirius!” you exclaim, and there’s no lightness to this chiding, your face heating with mortification. You glance at James’ zipper, just to be sure—and yup, it’s fully closed, everything contained—and then glance quickly away, horrified all over again that you’d looked. 

“We weren’t even doing anything,” you seethe, knowing your stare matches your brother’s as you glower at each other from across the room. “What are you even doing back?” 

Sirius rolls his eyes, utilizing that older brother’s insouciance he knows gets under your skin like nothing else. “It seems you’ve gotten turned around. These are the boys’ dorms.” His words drip venom onto the dull red rug. “I’ll be happy to escort you back to yours. Let’s go.” 

“No.” You set both hands on James’ bed, feeling ridiculously petulant. Sirius raises a brow as if to say No? but you ignore him. “This dorm is as much James’ as it is yours, and he invited me here.” 

“Pads,” James says, not quite softly, but mildly compared to the fiery tones you and your brother are throwing back and forth, “we’re just talking.” 

“And now you’re done talking.” Sirius shrugs, stalking toward you. You grip James’ sheets a bit tighter on instinct. “If I recall, you have a potions’ essay to write, and you’re not—ugh.” He grunts, wresting you away from James’ bed using a hold that’s worked since you were kids. James himself offers no help, other than a sympathetic grimace as you’re hauled off. Sirius fixes him with a cold glare in return. “You’re not getting that done in here.” 

“You are so immature,” you gripe as he starts tugging you towards the stairs, your feet barely skimming the ground. 

“We can talk about—oi, quit!—we can talk about who’s more mature when you stop pinching me, you prick!” 

[lizzieisright]

I’m so not normal about how you write alpha!abby I need more😩

Palestine: what can you do

Thank you for your req, I've missed writing alpha!abby it was so fun!(although this one is sappy)

Fri(end)s

alpha!abby x omega!reader

Tags: dead dove: do not eat. a/b/o universe (female alphas have dicks), modern AU, hurt/comfort, "alphas and omegas can be friends!!" delusion, they really stretch the definition of friendship. No full smut but they get horny.

Inspired by "Friends" by V.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

People say there's no such thing as a friendship between an alpha and an omega. You disagree. 

People just need to embrace the inherent lust that comes with being friends with your opposite and you can be great friends. Instead of fearing to make everything awkward when you both smell your attraction, you should acknowledge it and laugh about it. Be each other's ego boosters. It's not that hard. 

For example, you and Abby - you've been friends for years. It did start with Abby hitting on you, but she backed off immediately when you explained that you're not interested. Anyway, Abby stayed and asked to be your friend, and you agreed - Abby was cool and smart. It later became a running joke between the two of you where Abby'd jokingly hit on you just to get on your nerves or make you smile. 

That's pretty much how you overcame the awkward barrier: you started being honest with each other about everything. You formed a bond so intimate between the two of you that people often mistook you for a couple. You didn't mind. It wouldn't happen anyway, since Abby was a player. 

You had no idea how many omegas Abby's fucked in her lifetime, but you rarely saw the same omega twice. Abby kinda had a reputation around campus. She was aware of it, but what could she do? It wasn’t her fault her dick was good. And listen, Abby wasn’t an asshole, no one could catch her disrespecting omegas or talking who and how and when she fucked. People just knew. Well, it was hard not to know when her partners reeked of her after, but the point stood - Abby was a lady, not a prick when it came to privacy.

She fucked omegas that no one would believe to even have such dirty thoughts/time to fuck around/ability to feel sexual attraction or whatever reason insecure incel alphas kept telling themselves - and Abby always stayed discrete if omegas asked her too. Because that was how you got pussy, you fucking morons, not by insulting and being entitled. 

So Abby didn’t care that she had a reputation - she only cared if her partners felt safe and enjoyed themselves, and as long as it stayed this way, Abby was happy. 

And you knew all of this, because you were her best friend. She told you all of it during one night when you were drinking wine and you asked her about how she felt about her reputation. 

Then Abby asked about your deal, and you honestly told her that you didn't know: you loved the touch and flirting but you felt like you didn't have space for relationships. That you haven't met anyone yet who'd make you want to make an effort - of course Abby joked about her being the one and you laughed. 

“Well, if I ever need help, I'll come to you.” You winked and Abby laughed as well. 

It was easy between the two of you to what some would say, an alarming point where the boundaries of friendship became blurry. 

It wasn't a rare occurrence when you'd be at a party, pleasantly drunk, and then after what felt like an hour of dancing, you'd find Abby, sitting somewhere and sipping her whiskey, looking unapologetically hot in her muscle tee and jeans, and you'd get onto her lap, hugging her neck while she'd support your weight by grabbing your thigh. Her scent would get stronger and you'd smile into her shoulder, teasing her. Sometimes, of course, you'd find Abby with another omega already, her hands exploring and grabbing her partner, and you'd grin and go do something else. You always expect yourself to be upset, but strangely, you never are - Abby is your friend and you're happy she is getting some. 

Tonight is a little different. You're sleepy and horny and overall, want to feel someone's warmth and touch. So you find Abby and straddle her. She doesn't even lift a brow, just holds you by your waist and keeps you safe. Abby smells your arousal and chuckles, but you stick your tongue out.

“I fucking hate being an omega.” You say and start playing with Abby's hair while she is caressing your back. It's soft and cosy despite you being all horny. It's not flirty, it's not subtle: you two just love being close, and Abby radiates her presence, making everyone look away in fear of challenging her. Abby locks her arms behind your back and you arch into her.

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Wanna fuck so bad.”

Abby laughs and looks at you with her red eyes: she can't control it when she is drunk and has you on her lap. Abby smells your scent and smirks, her canines growing longer, her presence getting stronger, scaring other alphas away.

“Well, you know I'm always available for you.” You smack her on her shoulder and Abby laughs. 

“Don't fucking tease me, bitch.” 

“We can make out if it'd make you feel better.” Abby shrugs. You think for a second.

“Yeah. Let's make out. I bet you're a good kisser.”

“Five stars reviews, baby.”

You laugh, but Abby is already cupping your cheek and guiding you down to her level so she can kiss you. You go pliant when her warm lips touch yours: Abby is a good kisser. She is slow and gentle, but you feel the power and control behind her movements. She is holding you with one arm on your waist while she is grabbing your neck with the other one, her thumb stroking your jaw. 

It doesn't feel like you two are toeing on some kind of line you're not allowed to cross: it feels natural and normal, like you've done it a million times before. Maybe you feel this way because Abby is confident and knows what she is doing, but she also doesn't push you further. You're just lazily making out, her warm tongue is on top of yours, exploring your mouth. It feels good.

You feel Abby getting harder under you and you grind against her crotch just to be a little shit, and she stops kissing you. 

“And I'm a tease?”

“I love seeing you suffer.” You grin and Abby kisses you again, holding your hips down so you won't be able to grind anymore.

It's affirming, it's an ego boost: you love seeing Abby, hot and amazing alpha, being so weak around you. Abby loves knowing she is the only one who you allow to touch you - loves smelling how horny she can get you. So you keep making out and talking for the rest of the night, existing in your own little bubble. It’s beautiful. 

After, Abby takes you home and you cuddle in her bed before you fall asleep, Abby's strong arm pulling you close, her hair making a cloud of her scent around you, keeping you safe and protected. 

In the morning you wake up with her hard cock pressing into your thigh and you sigh - you want to sleep more, not being humped by a sleeping alpha. Abby shifts and grinds against you in her sleep, and your cunt throbs: you've never been so close to an alpha who is aroused. New experience, but this is Abby, and you want to fucking sleep.

You just shake her shoulder and she grunts, unhappy. 

“Come on, Anderson, you have a morning wood.” You tell her, still sleepy. Abby shifts and turns on her back, taking you with her so your head is on her chest and if you could've been bothered and opened your eyes, you'd have seen the outline of her cock under the covers. 

But you go back to sleep. 

So this is how your friendship is: you're so close there's almost no boundaries between you. You're not afraid to smell horny around Abby and you feel good about yourself when you smell her being horny about you. You're never upset about her hookups and she doesn't growl at every alpha who looks your way. It's perfect.

The smell of love comes early into your friendship, and you both tease each other about it, “can't believe you love me it's so embarrassing”. Abby is your closest friend and you love her, and you two are proof of an alpha and an omega capable of being friends. 

You're comfortable with each other to the point where you complain about your cycles and how fucking horny and unsatisfied you both are during this time: usually it's you who complains because Abby fucks through her ruts. You always tease her about smelling like her lucky omega, but Abby just smirks, still rut high. She looks deliciously dangerous after her rut and the smell of attraction grows stronger between the two of you. Usually Abby’d invite you for a bottle of wine after her rut ends and your drunk makeouts would get more passionate too, since Abby wouldn't hesitate to grab and knead your ass, making you grind on her cock. This is the only time when you let awkwardness fill the room: Abby doesn't control herself and you have to stop her before it goes too far. 

(This is the only time when your heart flutters and your hopes rise. This is the only time that threatens to ruin your perfect friendship. 

You know if you sleep with Abby, you'll never be friends again. You'll get territorial about her, and Abby doesn't need it - it's a question of incompatibility between the two of you. 

So you stop her.) 

But the universe doesn't like anything that is perfect - it's against her nature. The balance is in imbalance, and it tries to restore itself. 

For the last few months your heats have been getting worse - you’re stressed, you can’t sleep and you feel like shit. Your mood swings start to get worse as well - if before you’d just get a little sad and then fall down into the horny fog of a heat, now your mood stays longer in the sad space. It’s tiring.

And this heat hits you very hard. You're not horny, you're in pain and sad and it's hard to maintain your mind. You wish you were just horny - you could just bury your nose in Abby's hoodie that she always lends you before your heat and you'd keep fucking yourself until the heat wave would pass. 

You do bury your nose in Abby's hoodie, but it makes you cry even more. You feel so alone and so useless, like no one truly needs you and you'll never find your happiness, like you're bound to die alone. It's terrifying and makes you sob, and you can't be bothered to be horny because what's the point of it if you will be alone all your life? 

Abby:

u ok?

You scramble to your phone and cry harder: Abby cares. Abby knows about your last struggles with your heats and she checks on you.  You're not alone. 

So you call her.

“Doll, I'm not doing phone sex-” Abby says jokingly, but then she hears you sob loudly. “What happened?” Abby's voice shakes. “Where are you? Fuck, talk to me-”

You take a big breath before Abby'd worry herself into an early grave. 

“I'm fine. I'm home.” You sniff. “I just- It's so bad, Abby.”

“Are you hurt?” Abby is still worried. 

“No. It's a mood swing.” You cry again, feeling so broken. “I feel so fucking alone. And you texted me and I- sorry, fuck.” You wipe your tears and hug her hoodie, pressing the phone closer to your ear. You feel ridiculous - you know it’s your hormones talking.

“Hey, I'm here.” Abby says, trying to soothe you, but you cry harder.

“What if I end up alone? What if I never meet my person? I spend all those fucking heats alone and it's so hard, and I can't think of doing it for the rest of my life all by myself.” You fall into another fit of sobs. Abby is silent for a moment.

“I'm coming over.” Abby says, dead serious, and you suddenly sober up. 

“I'm in heat, Abby, you can't come over!” You sit on your bed, worried.

“I don't fucking care! You're hurting and you're alone, I can't let this happen.” You hear Abby rustle around. “Can you do something for me while I'm on my way?”

“I can try.” You say without any hope.

“Go drink some water and take a shower. And send me some pics so I know you did it, okay?”

“I'm so not sending nudes, Abby.” You chuckle without any bite. Abby huffs. 

“Go drink your water.” Abby ends the call and you stare at your phone for a second. 

You try to keep yourself together - you send Abby pictures of an empty glass and a hem of a towel when you're done, but it takes five minutes before your mood swings again. You shake and try to breathe through another spiral into hell, but it's so fucking hard. You get to the point where you start rocking back and forth like an anxious child, trying to self-soothe. You feel like you're in some kind of trance until you hear your doorbell. 

You fly to the door before your dam would break: you open the door to Abby who's panting loudly - she probably ran up the stairs. 

It takes a second for both of you to comprehend the situation before Abby throws everything on the floor and scoops you in her arms, and you break, sobbing into her chest and clinging to her shoulders. Abby's scent soothes you, protectiveness radiating from her while she holds you tight and kisses your head. 

“I'm here.” She murmurs and you cling to her harder. “I'm not going anywhere. I'll keep you safe.”

It takes five minutes of breathing Abby's scent for your hormones to calm down. You sniff before moving away, but Abby doesn't let you, still holding you. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Better.” You say honestly and Abby lets you go. 

Her eyes are red and she tries not to breathe too much, and you feel ashamed - she got here to comfort you but you stink of heat. Of course Abby reacts to it, she can’t help it, and now she will be stuck between taking care of you and taking care of you. It’s unfair to her. 

“I will take scent blockers.” You turn to go to the kitchen, but Abby stops you, gently holding your bicep. 

“No. It's not the heat. It's the hurt.” You wince: you know it's hard for alphas to smell hurt on omegas. “And I have pretty good self-control.” 

You chuckle and let Abby take her shoes off. She is in joggers and her favourite hoodie, looking cosy and comfortable. You want to cuddle her, and this is exactly what Abby does. She makes you drink another glass of water, feeds you a banana and takes you to your bed. 

Abby stops when she sees her hoodie on your bed like she didn't expect you to actually use it. (Like she totally doesn't use your hoodie when she is too sad to find a rut buddy). But Abby doesn't say anything and just tugs you to the bed, enveloping you in her arms and her scent. It's warm and beautiful and you bury your nose in her skin. 

You don't talk. Abby caresses you and kisses you head from time to time while you get upset again. 

“I fucking hate being an omega.” You sniff. Abby presses you closer, her scent gets stronger, reacting to your distress. “There's something wrong with me, I swear.”

“You're perfect.” Abby murmurs and you blink your tears away. 

“It's so hard, Abby. It's unbearable. With every heat I get more worn out and upset.” You cry quietly. “I will go on suppressants, I don't want to suffer like this anymore.”

Abby swallows. Suppressants are no joke, they ruin people’s health - that’s why they’re taken in emergencies. For everything else there’s scent blockers that don’t disturb cycles and don’t put people in danger. 

“We will figure it out. We will get you back into normal horny heats and you’ll complain about it to me, I promise.” 

It soothes you and you fall asleep, your scent slowly changing to your usual love scent, the one that Abby loves the most. 

Abby knows that sometimes omegas go through their cycle with a lot more pain than normal, but seeing you, the fucking light of her life, suffer like this is torture. She’d honestly prefer to hold herself back from fucking you because you’re in heat, and not wipe your tears while you tell her how scared you’re of ending up alone. 

Abby watches your calm face and caresses your cheek. If you only knew.

“I’ll always be here.” Abby murmurs, knowing you won’t hear her. “I’m yours.” She kisses your forehead.

When Abby moves away she is met with your wide eyes. 

Her heart stops. You’re silent, lost for words, but something starts happening: your scent gets stronger and Abby can see golden sparks as your eyes start to change colour. 

“Fuck.” You sigh. Your chest gets tighter and your cunt starts pulsing with need. “Ab-”

Abby kisses you roughly, pressing your head into the pillow and she shoves her tongue into your mouth, her hands gripping your waist, and now you’re lost in her scent and touch, arching and whimpering into her mouth. It feels amazing, you’re soaking your pants while you cling to Abby and relax under her, submitting to your alpha.  You’ve never felt so good during your heat and you want more. You buck your hips into Abby and she grinds her cock on your pussy, making you shudder and moan. The kiss gets messier, there’s a lot of spit on your chins, but you don’t care - you want Abby closer, you want her in you, stretching you on her cock, knotting you. 

“Abby-” You moan into her mouth and Abby growls. “Fuck me, please.” 

Abby growls louder and licks your neck, her canines brushing against your skin and you whine, desperate. But then Abby stops kissing you neck, stops moving and her grip on you eases. 

“Fuck.” Abby sighs into your neck. She smells how worked up and desperate you are, and she has to fight herself to not fuck you right now. “You’ll regret it. I’m not going to hurt you like this.” Abby rasps and your heart breaks. 

You feel rejected and the smell of hurt fills Abby’s nose. She looks at you and her heart breaks from seeing you cry, knowing she did this. You can’t just reject an omega during their heat - it messes them up and then they won’t be able to keep you in their lives after, too hurt and ashamed. 

“I want to, doll.” Abby tries to console you. “I really fucking want to, but I need you to be sober before we do anything. Look at me.” You obey and Abby kisses your tears. “I promise you, if you agree to this when this wave subsides, I’ll do whatever you need me to. For now we can keep kissing.”

It makes you feel better and you nod, tugging Abby down to kiss her again. You still are very horny and Abby has to pin your hips so you won’t grind against her, but you want to cum and you keep squirming under her while Abby tries to slow down the pace of your kiss. She is so gentle and careful, and eventually you melt and relax, the heat wave going away. It takes a solid twenty minutes of kissing and Abby holding you down before your head gets clearer. You break the kiss and sigh, relieved you’ve finally got a break. Abby looks like she has everything under control and she totally didn’t have to fight you and herself so you wouldn’t make a mistake. Her scent though tells you how much she has to restrain herself - it’s thick and heavy, aggressive, domineering. Abby didn’t lie when she said she wants to fuck you as much you want her to fuck you, and it makes you hormone-crazy heart feel better.

 “You weren’t lying when you said you have amazing self-control.” You murmur and brush Abby’s hair out of her face. Abby chuckles. 

“Are you feeling better?”

“I’m not all sex crazy right now, if this is what you are asking.”  You keep caressing Abby’s hair. She blinks a few times, but the red doesn’t leave her eyes. “Thank you for handling this so well.”

Abby smiles and kisses your cheek. The question hangs in the air.

“I’m-” You take a deep breath full of Abby’s pheromones and it messes with your head, but you try to find the right words. You don’t want Abby to feel rejected too. “I’m not ready to spend my heat with a partner.” I won’t be able to let you go if we do this. 

Abby does smell of regret, but she smiles at you. 

“Of course. But call me if you get upset again. I don’t want you to be alone.”

You nod and walk Abby out, kissing her goodbye. You lock the door after her and sigh, knowing what is ahead. 

You spend three days fucking yourself to a memory of Abby saying I’m yours. 

Only after you’ve recovered and got back to yourself you’re hit with a realisation that Abby actually told you she is yours. You try to find a way to justify her words, to connect it with your friendship and how close you two are, but even your levels of almost no boundaries can’t create a good excuse.

You were not meant to hear her. She thought you were asleep. It was her secret. 

So Abby didn’t say it to make you feel better or trick you heat-brain into calming down - her scent and touch already did it. There was no reason for her to say it unless she fucking meant it. You don’t know what to do. You never thought Abby’d be interested in something like an actual relationship with you.

Your perfect friendship was built on two opposing facts: Abby is a player, and you’re fine being alone until you meet your person. And now you’re not fine being alone because deep down you know she is your person, and Abby said she is yours without wanting you to know. 

You feel like you’re going crazy. You’re terrified of any awkwardness that will inevitably come with this whole ordeal. You know you won’t be able to hide your uncomfortable, shaking discovery from Abby - she is your best friend after all, she will know something is up with you. 

You manage to act normal for a week without Abby getting suspicious - you two are still flirty, but now when Abby touches you, you feel like she sets you on fire with how your cheeks burn. Now there’s a hidden meaning behind her touch - the one you were not supposed to know.

The song on the radio makes you break. 

Abby is driving you two to the Korean restaurant she found and wanted to show you, and you two sit in comfortable silence - Abby is focused on the road and you stare out of the window, taking the view of this part of the city, when this song comes on the radio.

You're in my head / I had plans for the weekend / But wound up with you instead / Back here again  / Got me deep in my feelings / When I should be in your bed 

Your cheeks burn. It is a weekend and Abby spends time with you, taking you, her best friend, to the restaurant. Does she want to be in your bed?

You and I go back to like '09, it's like forever / And you were there my lonely nights, yeah / Keeping me together / So wouldn't it make sense if I was yours? / And you could call me your baby / But we say we're just, say we're just-

You breath hitches. This song is stripping you of any kind of pretence. Your smell changes and Abby looks at you for a second.

Friends, just for now / Yeah, but friends don't say words that / Make friends feel like more than just / Friends, just for now / Now, I'm over pretending / So let's put the "end" in friends

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just remembered something.” Abby hums and doesn’t ask you further.

Friends are not supposed to get too close / And feel emotions that / We're feeling now, now, now / We ain't slowing down, down, down / But once we cross the line / There's no denying you and / I can never turn around, 'round, 'round / Know we'll never be the same 

You take a shaking breath when you think back to your heat, begging Abby to fuck you. Yes, you will never be the same. But you have a choice to make.

“This song is about us.” You chuckle nervously. 

“Really? Sorry, I didn’t pay attention.” Abby laughs, but starts to pay attention now, while you wait for the traffic light to turn green.

You and I go back to like '09, it's like forever / And you were there my lonely nights, yeah / Keeping me together / So wouldn't it make sense if I was yours? / And you could call me your baby / But we say we're just, say we're just-

Friends, just for now / Yeah, but friends don't say words that / Make friends feel like more than just / Friends, just for now / Now, I'm over pretending / So let's put the "end" in friends

Abby clears her throat. She doesn’t joke or flirt - she understands. 

“Yeah. It is about us.”

Abby doesn’t say anything more, but her scent gets a little spicy - she is nervous as well. You also don’t say anything - she is driving, after all. Not the time for this conversation. It’s the first time in your friendship when there’s so much thick, nervous tension between you. 

Abby parks the car and you just sit for a moment, feeling like you need to talk about it right now. Abby clears her throat again.

“So do you want to put the "end" in friends?” Abby asks quietly, not knowing why did you bring it up - do you want to stop being friends or do you want to be something more?

You chuckle, endeared by Abby’s nervousness - she is always confident and calm, you’ve never seen her like this. 

“You told me you’re mine.” You start, fidgeting with your fingers. You’re scared to cross this line and change everything, but you want to. “It made me happy. And very fucking confused, because- You know what I mean.” You cringe - you’re not going to include Abby’s sex life in your confession. “Were you serious about it?”

Abby lost any filter right after she heard “it made me happy”, so she just bursts, spilling all her feelings for you.

“I’m in love with you. I wanna marry you and have a fucking picket fence and a dog and two and a half children with you.” Abby says while her scent becomes ten times stronger with love. “You’re the one for me.”

You blink your happy tears away and look at Abby’s face, full of love and devotion. 

“Maybe we should start with a date?”

Abby smiles and takes your face into her hands, kissing you with so much love you can swim in it.

“A date sounds good.”

[cobaltperun]

Darkest Part (2) - Narcissistic Cannibal

Astrid Deetz x female Reader

Summary: You will never, in life or afterlife, if such a thing exists, meet anyone as infuriating, rage inducing, entitled, or frankly awful, as Astrid fucking Deetz. There isn’t a single thing you’d like more than to never be around her, but as your luck would have it, you just can’t stay away from her.

Masterlist / Previous Part / Next Part

Word count: 3.9k

-And you're so cynical, narcissistic cannibal-

Of all the ridiculously asinine things that could have ever happened to you, of all the ways your day, no, forget day, your entire week could go wrong, it just had to be related to the one person you despised. And it was such a nice day as well, sunny, warm, but not hot, pleasant breeze, perfect for doing anything you wanted, but no, no, you just had to spend it with her.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this with you,” the chihuahua said through gritted teeth. Even like that her voice just got on your nerves, all soft and tender and pleasant to the ear. If only it didn’t belong to someone like her.

“I’d agree with you, but that would just make me sick,” you spat, packing the promotional material that would be used for Delia’s day long art workshop at Astrid’s high school. Perks of donating a whole damn building to the school!

Astrid glared at you as she wrapped the figures Delia was going to bring along. It was Delia’s brilliant idea, to basically force her granddaughter to help through her and Lydia’s influence over the principal. And you had to admit, she hated being here for more than one reason. Which made you feel a bit better, because you hated being here for only one reason, that reason being the girl on the other side of the room. So, by some ridiculous logic you had it better, since you had fewer reasons to hate being here. “Wouldn’t that make my day,” she said under her breath, without a hint of remorse.

“Right back at you,” you didn’t even try to whisper it, no, you made it clear you heard her and wished the same thing upon her.

“Being sick would make your day? Somehow that doesn’t surprise me,” she actually smirked at you as you blinked, rewinding the last exchange and closing your eyes.

Fuck!

“I didn’t- that’s not- ah, fuck this,” you cursed, giving up arguing about this. She was so freakishly smart you figured you’d just be wasting your breath arguing about it.

Astrid had that ridiculous, satisfied grin on her damn face and you just, you just threw your hands up in the air. She got you there. And you hated the feeling, you hated it so much you nearly got into an argument with her just for the sake of your pride. Only to remember she’d likely throw an entire thesaurus at you and confuse you because that was just what she did!

Somehow you figured it was worth it.

You firmly believed there were some things that were just plain and simply true, and one of those things was that you and Astrid Deetz could never, under any circumstances, peacefully coexist. Everything between you was too volatile, too prone to explosive arguments or constant negativity.

Right at that moment the door opened, preventing you from restarting the argument, and Delia bounced in, all pumped and happy, and almost too pleased. Those rarely ended well for you if you were being honest. “Astrid! How nice to see you came to help me!” oh, this woman was either the most oblivious, self-centered woman you’ve ever met, or she just loved pushing everyone’s buttons. You’ve been working for her for some time now, and that was still the unsolvable mystery.

“You could have at least spared me from working with her, but no, it’s not enough that I have to be here,” Astrid complained with a deep scowl on her face, the previous satisfaction long forgotten. She didn’t even pause packing the figures to greet the woman.

“We apologize, your majesty, for keeping you away from your important business,” you mocked, only to be met with a fierce glare. Astrid most definitely glared at you, a lot, but never like this, never with this much intensity and anger.

She opened her mouth and then very obviously changed her mind, dropping her gaze and focusing on the task in front of her. “Not like you’d care,” she muttered under her breath. “Either of you.”

Delia, who was getting her mug, clearly heard that. “There’s a climate change conference coming up in a few months and Astrid here is heavily involved in preparations, some of which happen to be today,” you abruptly turned when Delia said that and then turned toward Astrid, who now had an even deeper scowl on her face.

You frowned, perhaps for the first time properly looking at the girl. You very passionately hated her, so you rarely took notice of the little details, but you could see her lower lip, slightly swollen from chewing on it, probably since she was so frustrated and angry. You saw some blisters on her palms, and the way she winced, they were probably caused by the tree planting you attended a few days ago. You hated her, but you didn’t hate her that much. “Go bark orders at someone else chihuahua, I’ll wrap this up,” you still didn’t have it in you to openly tell her to go and do what she cares about.

She froze, looking at you with unconcealed mistrust and disbelief, as if you just grew a couple of heads on your back and torso. That’s how bizarre you were in her eyes right now. She studied you, not saying a word, or even moving. How could she be so still?! It was unsettling! And her gaze was way too intense! “Tch, barnacle,” she scoffed but still grabbed her things and rushed outside.

“Forget chihuahua, she’s a whole damn zoo…” you could feel your eye was twitching as you watched the closed door. Were you expecting a thank you? No, not really. This was Astrid Deetz after all. You still expected something more decent than an insult!

“You do know this is a job for two people and that now you’ll be working overtime, right?” Delia asked as if she was asking about the weather, and not if you knew you were in for a long day. And you knew, of course you fucking knew.

You just, well you were passionate about climate change as well, and even you could tell Astrid cared about it. It was for the greater good! Nothing else. “I’ll get it done,” you sighed, doubling your efforts to at least try and get it done in reasonable time.

“Hugging trees won’t do much though,” Delia commented as she finished making her coffee, more to herself, than to you. “The sooner she focuses of something else, the better for her,” that was something you noticed about Delia. She was fairly supportive of green architecture, figuring it was a good thing to be interested in, blending the good intentions and profitable career together. She disagreed with Astrid’s approach, strongly believing that if Astrid didn’t come from a rich family, she wouldn’t be able to be so idealistic about her activism.

You closed the box and carried it to the side before grabbing a sticker and writing ‘promo material’ on it. “She’s a chihuahua,” you slapped the sticker onto the box and said, just like you did when Delia first told you her opinion on Astrid’s climate change activism.

Delia laughed, long, loud and genuine laughter filled the room as she sat at her laptop. “Or you could just for once admit that you have a tiny soft spot for my granddaughter and firmly believe that she is so stubborn she would still be doing this even if she wasn’t rich enough to not work a day in her life and had to life off of tree hugging salary,” she spoke complete and utter nonsense. The most ridiculous, outrageous, misinterpretation of your words.

“Bullshit, respectfully, bullshit,” you denied it, having no idea how anyone could see anything but hatred between you and that chihuahua. Tiny soft spot? Ridiculous! The only soft spot you had for anything related to Astrid was reserved for her mother who had the misfortune of having Astrid for daughter.

Nothing else!

Not now!

Not ever!

~X~

You were hunched over a small empty table in the library, shading your latest drawing with utmost focus. It was a detailed drawing of the Colosseum, and it was a fairly good drawing if you could say so yourself. Summer vacation would soon end, and you that meant one thing! You would soon be free from the chihuahua! Hopefully by the time she comes back or comes to visit her grandparents you’d be gone, never to see her again!

“Oh, I’m going to celebrate when she leaves,” you actually giggled, you felt giddy at the mere thought of never seeing Astrid Deetz again.

“You sound like you won the lottery,” Alex sighed, genuinely puzzled by your excitement over Astrid leaving. You, on the other hand, disagreed with him, you didn’t sound like you won the lottery, you were fairly sure you if someone offered winning the lottery and never seeing the damn chihuahua again you’d take never seeing her again.

A dumb choice, backed merely by the reasoning that no one would ever make you choose between the two, but still, that’s why you could so casually say it.

Alex though. He was blind. Blinded by her… something you wouldn’t even dare to think about.

“I’m not blinded by her beauty, by the way,” he pointed out, as if reading your thoughts, and you, as startled as you were, flinched, your hand pressing down, causing you to pierce the paper with your pencil and tear through it. “Shit, I’m sorry about that, Y/N,” Alex quickly apologized when he noticed the drawing was ruined.

You watched the torn paper for a few seconds, mind completely blank, as if you couldn’t properly process what happened to hours of work in mere seconds. “I was just practicing anyway,” you sighed, tossing the drawing into the trach can before patting your guilt-stricken friend on the back. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll just take a ten-minute break to stretch a bit.”

“Sure,” but he still looked at the drawing on top of the trash.

You knew you’d need to cheer him up, but first you really needed to go into the storage and stretch a bit, you’ve been sitting for hours. The storage room was big, as every library storage room should be, you kept spare copies, some books that were more difficult to come by, and things like that there, and there was still plenty of space to just stretch a bit, do a couple of exercises and walk, just to get the blood pumping. So, you did just that, bouncing lightly on your feet followed by a couple of basic stretching exercises.

“There, that feels better,” you muttered to yourself, feeling the tension in your muscles somewhat fading.

When you came back you saw her… the one indirectly responsible for the mistake you made. Standing here, talking to Alex, all angry? At Alex? Since when did that happen?

“She’s so…” Astrid seemed to be trembling with rage as she glared at some piece of paper in her hand. You doubted she got that enraged at anyone but you.

“I’m so what?” you walked back out and she looked back, about as startled as you were when Alex basically called her beautiful. Her cheeks turned red from the anger, and she shoved the paper into her bag.

“Vexatious!” she actually yelled and stormed out of the library.

“Another word to Google?” Alex snickered like the troublemaker he was. Whatever happened while you were on a break lifted his spirits and it looked like he was no longer grieving over your drawing.

You sat down and glared, you wanted to know what he did or said to cause that kind of reaction, but you would rather be locked in a room with that chihuahua than ask him. You still Googled the stupid word Astrid threw at you. “Tch,” you cold feel your eye twitching; she just called you annoying.

~X~

Annoying. Pain in her ass. The most frustrating person she ever met. The only person in the world that infuriated her more than her own mother, and a year ago she would have thought that was impossible!

And, as much as she despised admitting, a damn good artist.

Astrid stared at the slightly torn drawing, hating herself for noticing it. She went to throw her coffee cup into the can, and there it was. A detailed, drawn entirely by pencil and perfectly shaded, drawing of the Colosseum, just lying there. She was drawn to it, drawn to the precise lines, the chosen perspective gave the historical building a larger than life feel to it, and the lighting only enhanced that feeling.

She wanted to see more of them. More of the works whoever drew this made. She wanted to talk to them, find out what inspired them to draw this.

And then Alex made her desires shrivel up and die.

It was you.

Of course it was you.

"Barnacle," she muttered, now cursing you for ruining something like this with a moment of carelessness. Astrid leaned back on her chair, for a moment glancing at the framed photo of her and her dad, her most treasured possession. She looked so happy back then, they had so many plans, yet they never got the chance. He would have told her to do as her heart demands, and she hated what her heart was demanding right now. She carefully flipped the drawing and taped it together, making sure the tear wasn't visible.

You just... annoyed her so much she couldn't stand it.

~X~

When you came to work at the library tomorrow you saw your drawing on the table. Fixed.

"What the?" you looked at Alex, confused, hoping maybe he had an explanation.

"Your chihuahua," was all he said, and you just stared blankly at the fixed drawing. "And she knew it was yours, by the way," Alex had a shit eating grin on his face as your trembling fingers picked up the drawing.

Why couldn't your fingers stop trembling?

She just... she fixed it. You could see how much care she put into lining the paper up, making sure the tear was as concealed as possible. "What the fuck? The fuck did she do this for?" you asked, bewildered by her decision to do this knowing the drawing belonged to you. Hell, if anyone asked you ten minutes ago you would have willing to bet anything on her actually tearing it apart.

Okay, maybe that was harsh of you. But you were certain she wouldn't care about it, wouldn't even spare a glance. Yet she fixed it! "I need to thank her," the words you spoke felt foreign, your throat dry, it all felt surreal.

Alex had this look in his eyes, like he was sorry for something. "Tough luck buddy, she went back to school, she's gone."

Fuck! Where were cliche tropes of catching someone just before they leave when you needed them the most?!

~X~

Months passed since that day, since Astrid left for another year at her private boarding school. Your life returned to the way it was before you met her, same old routine, two jobs, art classes, taking care of your mother. You still didn’t dare to go to college, to take the chance without any safety net. You were nervous, worried that you weren’t good enough, that you’d try, end up being disappointed and you just couldn’t risk it. Not yet.

 You’ve been working overtime due to Delia’s newest idea, the human canvas, honestly you were looking forward to resting, since Delia promised a whole week off after everything was finished. After all, you did hell of a job with the logistics and promotion and all the technical stuff.

Delia was currently standing half a dozen feet away from you, getting ready for the next performance when her phone rang. Nothing new there, you were used to it and mostly tuned her out as she spoke on the phone.

“What?!” she screamed making you jump and turn to her, startled. It sounded like someone just published a harsh criticism of her work, but a single look at her face going as white as a sheet made it clear it was much, much worse. “No,” she swayed on her feet and you quickly set the pen you’ve been holding down and caught her just as she lost her balance and crumbled into your arms.

“Shit!” you failed to properly catch her and couldn’t get a firm grip on her, forcing you to lower her down to the floor and hold her up like that.

"Charles!" Delia screamed, loud, heartbroken, shattered by the news, and you didn't need confirmation to know what had happened. She dropped her phone and you just barely managed to catch it as she grabbed onto your shoulder and cried, her manicured nails digging through your shirt and making you wince as she bawled.

You let her hold onto you, silent as she cried, screaming for her husband and staining your shirt with tears and mascara. You didn’t know Charles all that well, having mostly worked with Delia, but you were sorry he was gone.

“He left me!” she shouted and you froze, looking down at the woman that was still crying.

“Left? Like a divorce?” you asked, now not quite sure if you got things mixed up. Wouldn’t be the first time it happened with Delia.

Delia stopped crying and pulled away from you. “That would be even worse! No, he’s dead, got killed by a shark,” she said it so casually.

“That would be even worse?” you couldn’t help it, you repeated her sentence, baffled as she screamed her late husband’s name once more. Him leaving would have been even worse? How? You just sighed, not even trying to wrap your head around this, seeing as thinking about it for too long might cause you to come to certain conclusions.

“Get ready, Y/N, we’re going to Winter River, we’ll be there for a few weeks!” Delia abruptly decided and you whipped your head in her direction.

“WHAT?!” surely she didn’t just ask that of you. You had another job here! A mother that needed to be taken care of!

Somehow she considerably calmed down, and much quicker than you anticipated. “You won’t leave a grieving widow to manage all of that herself, right?” oh, oh she was great at this emotional manipulation, and you were falling for it like a sucker. You went to speak, to reject this. You were her assistant for her art projects, not for funeral arrangements, especially if it meant leaving behind everything else for weeks to do it.

But she did just lose her husband… and she wasn’t a bad boss, just kind of self-centered most of the time. “One week, not a day more,” you offered, firm, unmoving, standing your ground. “Mom needs me,” you said before she could counter and demand more from you.

Delia thought it over and then, miraculously, nodded. “Good enough,” that actually surprised you and you watched her as she took her phone, likely to contact Lydia. “Go get days off, we’re leaving today.”

“Yes ma’am,” you nodded, already thinking of ways to get days off on an extremely short notice. And then a single thought popped into your head. You’d have to spend a week not only with Delia and Lydia, but Rory and Astrid as well!

“Fuck!” you cursed as you stepped outside, already dreading the upcoming disaster of a week ahead of you. As if Astrid wasn’t enough now you had to deal with Lydia’s manipulative boyfriend and all you could really hope for at this point was that you could ignore them.

~X~

The drive to Astrid’s high school was less of a torture than you anticipated. Rory mostly ignored you, like he usually did, and somehow he wasn’t a complete insufferable asshole. He was uncharacteristically silent, well, other than the bit about losing his grandfather 40 years ago. That was… classic Rory actually.

What you weren’t prepared for was Delia deciding to tell Astrid the news herself, when the grumpy chihuahua refused to answer Lydia’s calls. You watched from the back seat, horrified when Delia walked up, not to the front door, but to the side of the building where you guessed Astrid’s room was.

“Astrid!” your eyes widened, and you actually couldn’t believe what was going on as Delia screamed Astrid’s name at the top of her lungs.

“Oh, no,” Lydia whispered, shaking her head in disbelief as she watched the disaster unfold.

“Stop torturing your mother!” Delia yelled and you actually felt sorry for Astrid, you felt a real, genuine, empathy for the girl because the scene unfolding in front of your eyes was downright humiliating. Astrid looking down at Delia from her window while dozens of students looked on either from their own windows or from where they were in the front yard of the dormitory.

“Your mommy lost her daddy! You lost your grandpa! And I lost my…” Delia paused and you bit your tongue, hoping, despite knowing the woman, that she would just say her husband or something. “…horny handyman, Charles.”

No…

No!

She did not just say it like that!

“I’m so sorry chihuahua,” you whispered under your breath, just quiet enough for it not to be heard by anyone as Delia screamed Charles’ name once more.

~X~

Ten minutes later you were with Rory in the car as Lydia went to join Delia and Astrid outside and you found yourself looking at the girl. There she was, the menace. The bane of your existence. The very girl you despised more than anyone else in the world and who despised you just as much. Truly you were forced to admit that such mutual hatred was hard to come by. And here you thought her fixing your drawing would make those feelings fade a bit, but now that you were looking at her again you figured you were wrong.

You still despised the girl, and the random act of kindness did little to change that.

“There she is, the morbid freak,” Rory muttered under his breath. He definitely didn’t like Astrid, being the manipulator that was taking advantage of Lydia and knowing Astrid saw right through him must have infuriated him.

“Shut it,” you punched the back of his seat with enough force to make him wince and turn to look at you.

That sick, manipulative smile on his face was back. “Come on, Y/N, you hate her, don’t go complaining about me saying what you think,” he tried to appeal to you, to get you to agree with him just to get that sense of power and control. Your feelings for the youngest Deetz were your own, non-reliant on the way other people viewed her. You had personal reasons for disliking Astrid, and you had no desire to fuel his narcissistic tendencies. Not to mention, as much as you disliked Astrid there was something about his word choice that you couldn’t get behind.

And agreeing with Rory and giving him what he wanted would just make you feel sick, so that was yet another reason not to agree. “Only I get to insult that chihuahua, also, she is not a morbid freak,” you paused. “Okay, just freak. She is not a freak. She is morbid, but not a freak,” you corrected as you glared at the man. You might actually hate him more than you hated Astrid, and that was hell of an accomplishment.

Taglist: @alexkolax @osnapitzmel1 @bee-keeping @nebthetautora @lololauser

@nwestra @rroyale-109 @gemz5 @social-pomegranate @mirage018

@the-thing-withfeathers @hello-mtf @leafanonsforest

Masterlist / Previous Part / Next Part

[drdemonprince]

I remember a while back you did a fun ask game where people sent in kinks and you rated how good an investment they are and it keeps popping into my mind because of how chill you were about kinks that even kinky people tend to view really negatively in the sense of ethics. I was wondering if you had any advice on how to *feel* chill in terms of my own kink ethics. I intellectually believe that fantasies can’t be immoral and that kink with other adults is moral as long as there is consent (and appropriate risk awareness).

But I am still pretty triggered on the topic when it comes up. Eg, earlier a friend told me they are cutting someone they love off for being friends with someone who “sexualizes trauma”. And yeah, that is definitely where some of my darker kinks come from—though not all. They’re entitled to that opinion and action of course! But hearing all the things they said against this person triggered me, making me feel like I’m dangerous and that it is wrong of me to interact with them going forward even though this isn’t a topic I would discuss with them anyway. Until writing this I hadn’t even considered if they are still a person I *want* to interact with given this. Though I’m sort of unclear on whether it is actually wrong of me to interact with them still.

I am working with my therapist on this. And I know it will take some time to work through. I was just wondering if you had any words of wisdom on the topic.

My thoughts are that if I had a friend who cut people off for having problematic (or in this case, just like, unsettling?) kinks, I would not feel safe around that friend. It would seem to me that they were judgemental, moralizing, and had a completely different viewpoint on how the world operated than I did, and that sooner or later they would demonize me for things I thought, fantasized about, felt, and so on. I might have sympathy if the person was a trauma survivor early in their recovery, as it's quite common for people to think in very dogmatic, black-and-white ways about morality in order to protect themselves and to be highly reactive to perceived threat. But their feelings of safety are their own business to guard over, and mine are mine, and I just wouldn't be able to get along very intimately with someone like that. I'd have to give them a wide berth until they started to get over it, if they got over it.

Recently, a friend of mine was completely ostracized from their local queer community simply for writing a piece that touched on a taboo fantasy -- a taboo fantasy they had concocted as a way to cope with some really gnarly early childhood abuse. They lost performance gigs and friends, had hate campaigns erected against them, had mobs of people threatening all their remaining friends and colleages, all based on a rumor about a piece that they never even got to perform anywhere because someone had heard it was about a taboo subject and even the IDEA of what it might be made them uncomfortable, and so they assumed my friend was condoning abuse when they were literally just describing what had already happened to them and how they found healing from it. Shit like this sucks, and it comes down most heavily against queer people, especially trans femmes, and I've seen the fear mongering ruin enough lives that I try to steer really clear of it.

My life has been so blessed by inclusion of people with really intense, taboo, stigmatized kinks into my life. I was afraid to even breathe a word of my hypnosis fetish to anybody until I was in my late 20s, because I thought it was so freakish and evil. and now I routinely talk with people about really animalistic feral fantasies, harkness rule violating monsterfucking, rape play, necro fantasies, abdl, age regression, incest roleplaying, blood, eating bodily fluids, and everything else that freaks people out but harms no living being. Even when it's not my stuff, even when it's something I might personally find a little squicky to actually be in the room with, it makes me feel seen, safe, and free to express the depths within me. I think surrounding yourself with more people like that or just consuming their stories can help a lot. And trying to find some mental distance from the people who do fear monger and get triggered. They have their reasons for feeling as they do. But that doesn't mean we have to align with their values or actions.

[doodler16]

Charlie is just selfish and entitled. The show tries to make you think she’s caring but naive and than tries to trick you into thinking she’s saving people “you’ve touched so many souls” like no she didn’t! Husk, vaggie, alastor and her dad had to do the work for her all she did was cry, and whine that her hotel isn’t working, her dad didn’t believe in her dreams (he did, he just didn’t trust heaven and sinners and he’s not wrong) her speech in the finale before the fight was annoying because it wasn’t earned she did nothing, she didn’t inspire anyone. Others did everything for her and she taking all the credit. Hmm I wonder who that reminds me of?

Yeah, Anon I never understood why Lucifer and Vaggie say that to Charlie when in reality she hasn’t. I get it, they really believe that Charlie has been a positive influence and want to make her feel better but narratively it’s the exact opposite. Episode 1-5 illustrates that the hotel isn’t working and even Charlie is freaking out, but now episode 6 and beyond shows that the hotel works apparently.

Episode 3, Scrambled Eggs: the reason why Angel Dust, Niffty, Sir Pentious, and Husk bonded off screen and had the start of their artificial friendship was because of Vaggie and her turf war idea.

Episode 4, Masquerade: Husk out of all people manages to connect and get to the root of Angel Dust’s issues (even though majority of critics understandably here hate how the song was executed/written).

The most I give Charlie credit is for the initiative of wanting things to change unlike Lucifer and Lilith and her idea of the hotel because without it most of the characters wouldn’t have met or even interacted. The only people who Charlie truly touched was Lucifer and Vaggie, the worst part they aren’t even Charlie’s demographic. Sir Pentious is one of the sinners for a short amount of time that Charlie connected with, otherwise that’s it.

Funny enough, Lucifer was supposed to be a distant/emotional abuser parent. I would’ve loved to see that instead we got misunderstood dad #3. He didn’t do too much besides rebuild the hotel and beat up Adam. Alastor ironically and annoyingly barely contributed to the hotel unless it was convenient for him. But he definitely did play a role in episode 7, Hello Rosie along with overshadowing Charlie in the song, “Ready For It.”

Either way, Charlie for most part didn’t do much besides acting like a summer camp counselor who taught the characters stuff that anyone and their mother can do. Literally, some of the activities Charlie did throughout the first half of the show were things my private catholic middle school/high-school did for retreats. 💀

Episode 8 was very shallow and acted like everyone was pals or homies, when I know dang well most characters barely interacted with others or the information was told to us. Charlie really does remind of Vivziepop for all the wrong reasons, it’s crazy how series Charlie and her are so similar.

[magpod-confessions]

Hi, no worries about my og ask being deleted, because I’m a weird little freak that writes drafts for my asks in my notes app. So here’s it again:

This is a completely personal opinion, and I’m not faulting anyone for having this headcanon, but I absolutely hate Asian Melanie headcanons, specifically Chinese Melanie.

The reason why is because I am Chinese, and I hate the idea of sharing anything in common with her.

But also, I don’t really like any PoC headcanon for Melanie. I’m not black so I can’t really say how bad it would be, but to me, headcanoning one of the most physically aggressive characters in the show as black is… not great.

And I understand that there are a lot of PoC that relate to Melanie, or see her anger as righteous fury that so many minorities feel.

But to me, she is 1,000% white, mostly because her anger sounds so entitled to me, she’s like “I fought tooth and nail for everything in my life” and it’s… a YouTube channel. Not “I worked so many jobs trying to climb the ladder but everyone looked down at me.” (Which Sasha did have) or “anywhere I go, people look at me with scorn.”

All her anger and the only thing we see that she’s angry about is that she became a meme.(an oversimplification, I know) And maybe she did have to work a lot of jobs until she got to where she is, but we never really hear about it, so it’s a moot point.

I am of the opinion, that all the characters that don’t have a canon race, are written as white, because Jonny Sims is white and he wasn’t trying to write a story about race. But for a lot of them, making the a PoC doesn’t really change their story, but I’ve seen people think otherwise.

The one I’ve seen most is saying that if Jon is brown, it changes his story because of the way Jonah was manipulating him and that he is a victim of police brutality, but I don’t really think that would really affect his story, because Jon isn’t a character that, to me, takes his race in to account for how others treat him. However, Melanie definitely is, if she were anything other than white, she would be loudly declaring the racism that she is met with all the time, as is, she only talks about her experience with sexism.

And I know I’m digressing, but it annoys me to no end when people are like “Jon has to be white, because if he were a PoC he would have been suspicious of Elias, and wouldn’t have been so shocked that he was the murder suspect. And if you think that he could be brown, you’re stupid and racist” And then they’ll turn around and say that one of the other ambiguously raced characters is a PoC.

Like, you’re going to say Jon has to be white because he he didn’t think he was a murder suspect, but turn around and say Martin “you’re the police” Blackwood isn’t one of the whitest characters in the show.

Race doesn’t really make a difference for any of the characters, but some do have more hints of being stereotypically white than others, and Melanie is definitely one of them to me.

Sorry, this got long. And once again, to be clear, I don’t really mind people headcanoning any character as any race, if I see something I don’t like , I just try to scroll past, and I never say anything on the post. I just needed to vent about the general situation of race in TMA, and put my two cents in. (Melanie was just a good starting point for it, and the one I personally have beef with) (also, sorry if it’s confusing, it’s pretty much just all stream of consciousness)

Anyways you can all tell me how wrong and racist I am if you want. 🗣️

Ask that ties to this

Yeaa I definitely see what youre saying. Personally I dont think much abt characters races, bc yea. The majority of it is rly ambiguous but I definitely see what youre saying - rosette

[lucysarah-c]

Second question!

(sorry for the delay, work got in the way >___> Once again, there is absolutely no rush to reply to these <3 Especially because I know I will make a mess of this ask in particular lol) I think you mentioned in one of your previous posts that you think Levi would very much be of the opinion "my past is my own, and just because we are together does not mean you are entitled to know it". Or something on those lines.

Now, imagine Levi and Y/N have been together for a while and, despite not pressing him, she has made clear that she is interested in where he comes from, in understanding "all of him". Do you thin Levi would still be tight-lipped about his past? Or do you see him randomly dropping things whenever he feels comfortable, like he told Nifa about Kenny?

And finally... do you think he would ever talk voluntarily about Furlan and Isabel? How would that conversation go? And, how do you see Levi replying to Y/N saying somethig like "I think they would be proud to see how far you got"?

That's it, I promise my questions should be done for a while uahahaha I know I did it in my previous ask, but thank you very much for taking the time to read these and for the patience you have when replying to all of us and for putting up with the fandom in general! I wish you a lovery day Lucy and I send you a heartfelt hug <3

Hi, Feris! It's always a pleasure to see you in my inbox, sweetie <3

I love it when I have clear answers for asks, haha. I think Levi would first start by casually dropping little details about his life. Like, maybe one day they’re both lying in bed, and she’s playing with his hair when she notices a scar on his head. She could ask about it, and Levi would just go, “Oh, that? It’s from when Farlan and I stole our first 3DMG. It was so broken that even after I tried to fix it, it went berserk. I hit the corner of a roof and left blood everywhere, haha. But Farlan couldn’t stop laughing long enough to help me—the idiot.”

I imagine Levi doing this a lot—sharing the most heartbreaking stories like they’re funny memories. And she’d be there like, “…sweetie, that’s actually traumatizing and sad.” I feel like, as you mentioned, he’d drop these things randomly when he felt comfortable enough.

This next part is based on personal experience since one of my parents is really secretive about their life. I don’t think Levi would avoid talking about Farlan or Isabel, even on a daily basis. If he’s comfortable with her, I feel like he’d bring them up in conversation more often than we might expect. But I don’t see him sitting down to explain everything in detail, you know? Like, Levi wouldn’t act like they never existed or try to hide them, and the same goes for his mother or Kenny. He might mention them casually in conversations, but I don’t think he’d willingly go through the vulnerability of talking in-depth about the experience of losing them. If that makes sense?

Levi’s past would be like a puzzle she’d slowly piece together. He’s the type of partner who would share the most character-defining story on a lazy Sunday while making pancakes, all because something in the moment reminded him of it, as if it were nothing.

As for the comment you suggested Y/N make, I think he’d definitely be touched by it. He’d probably go quiet for a moment, breaking eye contact as he tries to process the feeling. Then, in a quiet voice, he’d murmur, “Thank you. But I’d still prefer it if they were here… those idiots.” Softly, almost under his breath. If they were close, maybe he’d squeeze her hand or rest his forehead against hers for a moment while he gathered himself, not wanting to show too much vulnerability.

Thank you so much for all your sweet comments, T-T! Truly, I appreciate them. Sending you a big, tight hug back!

[spacecasehobbit]

Listen. Is Oliver Quick a pathetic wet rat boy? Yes, of course he is. But I don't think it's appreciated nearly enough how pathetic everyone else is too, in that movie.

Michael Gavey? Called popular kids "vapid cunts" for not inviting him to a party, called himself a genius for being good at sums (as someone who knows math - memorizing sums is not math), and made fun of a guy for hitting on a hot girl who didn't know her times tables. Tried and failed to manipulate the only other friendless loser he found into being friends with him based solely on mutual friendless loser status. Definitely hung around incel forums and believed most of his problems would be solved if the government would just force a hot girl to sleep with him. At least half a dozen levels more pathetic than Oliver at his worst.

Farleigh Start? Negged a random weirdo loser who he definitely had a crush on, only convinced said random weirdo loser that he hated him. Finally all but outright told this random weirdo loser that he wanted to fuck someone so insecure that they'd do all the work and he wouldn't have to do any, after failing to get his random weirdo loser crush kicked out of his cousin's house in other ways - including spying on said random weirdo loser crush having sex with his other cousin, with binoculars. Got so pissed off at weirdo loser crush implying that he was closer to Farleigh's rich family than Farleigh was that he responded with public humiliation, then got himself tricked and kicked out of his rich family's house because after all that, he did in fact still wanna fuck anyway. Also consistently obsessed with getting approval from his racist family, because they were rich and socially well connected and he wanted that, too. Pathetic levels: close to Oliver's, but at least he never committed murder so, like, probably one or two steps up from end-stage Oliver Quick at least.

Venetia Catton? Does nothing except swan about her family's giant mansion while drinking excessively, spouting off faux-edgy nonsense about the full moon, and hitting on her brother's friends only to get mad when they choose his delicate sensibilities over sleeping with her again. Also extremely classist, and compares Oliver to a "serf" as an insult because his polite small talk brings comfort to her mother after a devastating loss but Venetia finds it annoying. Pathetic levels: on par with Farleigh.

And of course, let's not forget Felix Catton! Has literally everything he could ever want without even having to ask for it, but can't handle not being in control of anything ever. Feelings as delicate as flower petals, and will ghost supposed best friends over calling his extremely filthy room disgusting or him spoiled. Feels entitled to other people's private information and then turns around and gossips about said private information with whoever he wants, but gets mad if the same gossip is shared by others without his approval. Doesn't respect other people's boundaries, gets mad about his boundaries being disrespected. Thinks of himself as untouchable, gets murdered by the guy who literally everyone watching the movie can tell is kind of a pathetic wet rat of a man. Pathetic levels: Off the charts. Super pathetic. 11/10 more pathetic than there are levels to count.

Anyways, I just think the fact this movie was a whole cast of pathetic wet rats is part of what made it so great, and more fanfic should explore that aspect of other characters too.

[universecorp]

Heartbeat Pt.1

Summary: After starting a situationship with your best friend from high school, things start to become complicated. Especially when you start to catch feelings.

Jaehyun x Reader Minor Haechan x Reader (In pt2 and 3 only though)

w.c.: 9.9k

Genre: Comedy, smut, and angst

Warnings: Mentions of smut, smut, Oral (F receiving), fingering (f receiving) cursing, angst, unrequited love (or is it???)

PLAYLIST: ♡

Next part ->

Friday, that day meant a lot of things. To you it was usually the day you ended up tangled in Jaehyun’s black sheets. Your friends however, had different plans. Today they made you ditch your friend for a night out on the club, which is something you hate to admit that you needed. Even if you didn’t see it, your friends knew you needed a distraction from the man you allowed to occupy your weekends. So here you were, sitting in a booth at the club while you watched your friends on the dance floor. 

You usually would dance with them, but your mind was unfortunately in other places. What was he doing? Was he with another girl? Out with the guys or staying in? You couldn’t help but think about him, which completely defeated the whole reason you were here in the first place. You were gonna need a few drinks to really get your mind off of things, so you made your way to the bar. You walked around the dance floor to the dimly lit area that had a line of stools in front of the counter. You sat down, waving over one of the busy bartenders who was currently shaking a martini. “Can I get a coke and rum please?” 

“Make it two.” A familiar deep voice said behind you. Before you could turn around you looked to your right where Jaehyun was now sitting. He was facing towards the bartender, so you had a perfect view of his freshly shaved undercut and his black hair that was gelled back, revealing his forehead.

 “What are you doing here?” He licked his lips huffing out a small laugh at your shocked expression. 

“Came out with the guys, didn’t expect to find you here too though.” You deadpanned at that, you literally texted him that you were going out tonight. Well you didn’t say where so he was entitled to his own shock as well. 

“Guess I should’ve told you which club we were going to.” 

“Why did you not want to see me?” 

“Well it's not that… it’s just that my friends definitely won’t be happy if they see us together.” The bartender sat your drinks in front of you, to which you thanked him before taking a small sip.

 “I don’t really care what your friends think, but I get it.” Jaehyun shrugged, taking a sip from his own drink. 

This was all too familiar for Jaehyun to act like this. He said anything and everything to keep you as putty in his hands, but only when it was just you two. He wasn’t distant per say when in front of others, but he definitely wasn’t as flirty or affectionate with you. How you even ended up in this situation was beyond you honestly. You and Jaehyun have known each other since high school. You started out as strangers since your parents hired him to tutor you, but after discovering you went to the same high school, you began to hang out more. Jaehyun was a year above you, so that’s why your paths never crossed, but once they did you two became thick as thieves. Eventually his friends became your friends and vice versa. You remember how ecstatic you were when you got into the same college as him, and so was he. He helped you find all the good professors and took you to all the parties, and even still found time to tutor you like old times. Most weekends were spent at his apartment watching movies or recovering from frat parties. After a few drunken times that you fell into bed with him, it eventually became a part of your sober activities too. At first it was weird, if you weren’t drunk you would leave his apartment, feeling slightly ashamed of the fact that you were sleeping with your best friend. After a couple months of sleeping together you just decided it was easier than actually committing to something. Both of you got something out of it you wanted while not complicating your friendship. That is until you developed feelings for the man. You didn’t intend to and you weren’t proud of it, but you were also too scared to tell him and risk losing everything. 

“Are you drunk enough to dance with me yet, or are you still scared of your friends?” You glanced over at the black haired man who was now nursing his second drink. 

“Let me have one more and I'll get back to you.” You said before quickly finishing the rest of your glass and bothering the bartender for another. 

“Why do you wanna dance anyways, usually i’m the one who has to drag you out at the frats?” Jaehyun shrugged, turning towards you on his stool.

 “I can't dance with my favorite girl?” You hated the way your heart skipped at that. He had to know the effect he had on you, there’s no way he just acted like this towards you. You’d like to believe he did but you’ve seen him flirt with enough girls at parties to know that’s not true. Jaehyun was charming, even if he didn’t mean to be. His secret not so secret caring nature made sure of that. 

“You can dance with me, I’m just surprised you want to.” He rolled his eyes at you as if what you were saying were some outlandish remark. It usually takes three drinks and you dragging Jaehyun to the dance floor. He was only two in and asking you willingly, it was scary. Maybe he’s sick. 

“Why is your hand on my forehead?” 

“I’m trying to make sure you’re not running a fever. You’re being weird. Why do you want to dance?” You leaned forwards more to press your hands to his cheeks. 

“Y/N quit, i’m not sick. If you don’t want to dance, I'll just go find someone else who does.” You shook your head quickly which made Jaehyun smirk in response. 

“Cute. Now if you’re done being fickle, can we dance already?” Jaehyun had his hand stretched out to you which you hesitantly took. He left a few bills for the tab and tip before leading you into the crowded area of sweaty, intoxicated bodies. Jaehyun settled his hands on your hips before turning you around so that his chest was pressed to your back. A small gasp left your lips when he hooked his chin over your shoulder. 

“You smell good, is that a new perfume?” You felt a tinge of blush covering your cheeks at his observation. Of course he knew you changed your perfume, he notices everything even as insignificant as your nails. It makes you sick because it’s one of the things that made you fall for him. 

“Yeah, got it last week.”

 Jaehyun hummed lowly next to your ear, “I like it.” You licked your lips trying to distract yourself from how badly you wanted to turn around and kiss him. You wanted him to lead you out of this club and take you home, just to ruin you. You would let him be the one to ruin your friends' hard work, even though he was the last person your friends wanted you to leave with. Speaking of which, you couldn’t help but notice the way Minjeong’s lips tightened as you made eye contact with her. She and the rest of your friends were now occupying your once empty table along with Jaehyun’s friends, who were most likely too drunk to care what he was doing. 

As if he could tell you were thinking too hard, Jaehyun grabbed your chin to make you look at him. “Just relax, who cares what they think.” That was so rich coming from him. Usually he’s the one that doesn’t like acting like this in public, which is why this entire thing was weird. It was no secret you were fucking, all of your friends knew, but it was like an elephant in the room. None of you ever talked about it, even after moments like this it was something that was talked about in private, in the safety of your dorm and Jaehyun’s apartment. For Jaehyun to willingly be this open, knowing that his and your friends could see you right now was insane to you. At frats he usually just danced face to face with you, but this felt almost too intimate. You wished the dance floor would collapse beneath you and swallow the two of you whole. It felt good to feel like Jaehyun was yours, but you weren’t used to it being where all eyes were on you. You were used to his husky morning voice and the mumbled praises that spilled out while he was inside of you. To him being clingy while you basked in your post orgasm bliss or while you watched movies in his bed. You were used to everything being private and it felt so good but so wrong to be like this.

Jaehyun was holding eye contact with you, as if you were the only thing that mattered. Staring deep into you as if he was trying to pick your brain, trying to understand what had you so distracted. He knew you’d never actually tell him what was wrong though, so he did the only thing he could think to do, the only thing he knew would pull you away from your thoughts. He kissed you. With his soft lips on yours, everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, the music, and Jaehyun’s lips were the only things moving in time around you. 

Are we datin'?

Jaehyun’s lips moved languidly against yours, his large hands squeezed your hips, causing a gasp to escape from you. You broke away for a moment to turn around, making the angle less awkward as you captured his lips in another kiss.

 Are we fuckin'?

“Jae, let's get out of here.” You mumbled against his lips, gasping as he squeezed your sides once more.

Are we best friends? Are we somethin'

“What about your friends?” The smirk in his voice was evident; both of you knew where this was going. 

In between that?

“They’ll understand…”

I wish we never fucked, and I mean that

With uncertainty laced in your features, Jaehyun grabbed your hand, pulling you away from the crowd, the lights, and the music. He pulled you away from all the things that were supposed to distract you from him that night. Taking you back to his apartment where he reminded you of truly why no matter how distracted you were, you would eventually turn your focus back to him.

—————————————————————————

In the morning you woke up to familiar black sheets and the manly scent that you knew all too well. Jaehyun’s arm was haphazardly thrown over your waist while his chest was pressed against your back. You could feel his level breathing on the nape of your neck, signaling he was still fast asleep. You always woke up earlier than Jaehyun, so this was usually how your mornings went. You reached for your phone, which Jaehyun must have plugged in for you,since you ended up falling asleep after having sex. The first thing that greets you is the several missed calls from Minjeong, making you cringe slightly. You knew she saw you and Jaehyun, part of you was hoping she was drunk when she made eye contact with you, but you knew better than that. You decided that an apology text was the best you could offer for now, you would talk to her tomorrow when you got back to the dorm. You scrolled through tiktok for a bit until you heard the man behind you stirring. A small groan came from him before he pulled your frame closer to his larger one, causing you to gasp a little. 

“Good morning.” Jaehyun’s morning voice never failed to send shivers down your spine.

”Morning,” you mumbled back, yawning a little. A small chuckle left Jaehyun’s lips which he pressed against your naked shoulder. Peppering small kisses up to your neck where he began sucking on the fresh bruises that he created last night. 

“Jae…” You sighed out, lifting your shoulders a bit to stop his assault.

 “What, you don’t like it?” 

You shook your head, “It’s not that, I’m just hungry.” 

“Me too, not for food though.”

You whined and pushed him away playfully, in an attempt to make an escape from him and the bed. He was quicker than you and managed to grab your wrist, pulling you back down to his side. “Jae let me go cook, maybe you do actually want food, you just don’t know it yet.” Jaehyun groaned, before releasing you from his grip. 

“This is a form of gaslighting you know?” You made an affirmative sound before going over to his dresser, opening the two bottom drawers to grab one of the several pairs of underwear you kept at his house and one of his large shirts. After throwing both on you made your way to his kitchen, to assess the damage of his fridge, and what kind of meal you could actually make from its little contents. To your surprise you found a full carton of eggs, some fruit and sausage. 

After a few minutes you were flippings sausage over in a pan, humming to the music coming from your phone speakers. Your hips were swaying as you moved to the other burner to prevent the eggs from sticking to the pan. “Can you just move in?” Jaehyun’s sudden entrance startled you, causing your wrist to collide with the pan which was cooking the sausage.

 “Ow ow ow!” You grabbed your wrist as you slid down next to the cabinets. Fresh tears pricked at your eyes as you tried to assess the damage on your wrist. Jaehyun quickly crossed the room while you seethed out profanities. Bending down to your level he gently grabbed your wrist to take a look at how bad the burn was.

 “Fuck, I’m sorry, come here.” You allowed the older man to lead you to the sink where he ran your wrist under cold water. Jaehyun rubbed soothing circles under the burn, whispering our apologies and praises as he helped tend to your injury. 

“You ok?” You nodded, holding the makeshift ice pack to your burn. Jaehyun took the liberty of finishing the sausage, another way of his to apologize for startling you.

 “Were you serious earlier?” Jaehyun looked at you like you had two heads.

 “Oh, about moving in? That was a joke dude. If I had an extra bedroom I’d probably ask, but we can’t share a room.” Humming in agreement was all you could do. Responding any way else would be a dead giveaway to how you really felt. 

As far as you knew, Jaehyun was under the impression that you were fine with your current arrangement. You weren’t, but if he knew that, things would definitely go to shit. So for now you could pretend you were his for the weekend, like you did every weekend and then go back to being friends. It was a vicious cycle and you knew it wouldn’t end unless: Jaehyun found out how you felt, one of you ended up in a serious relationship, or you both mutually agreed to end things. You hoped none of them would happen, unless it was a serious relationship with Jaehyun. Once again, he couldn’t know that.

After breakfast, Jaehyun basically refused to let you lift a finger. He shooed you away to his room while he cleaned so all you could do was sit and wait for him. You had just settled into his bed and were flipping through movies on netflix when you heard a familiar ringtone coming from the kitchen. Before you could get up Jaehyun was already crossing the threshold of his room, phone in hand. Thanking him silently you hit the green answer button where a very pissed Minjeong was staring back at you. “Hi, Minnie…” even her favorite nickname couldn’t get her, you were in trouble. 

“Don’t ‘Hi Minnie’ me! Is he in the room?” You shook your head.

 “You seriously couldn’t go one night without him?” No amount of pouting could save you from Minjeong’s wrath. “I mean come on, you’re never gonna get over him if you don’t put some distance between you and him.” You shushed Minjeong, because despite Jaehyun being in another room, his apartment walls had quite the echo. “Don’t shush me! We’re not done! I mean seriously all the guys in that club and you couldn’t find one to fuck other than him?!” 

“It’s better than me leaving with a possible serial killer!” You groaned out, growing tired of her lecturing.

“That’s true, but I highly doubt any of the men in that club were serial killers. There were guys lined up to dance with you and of course you folded when he reared his big ass head!” That was not an entirely false statement. You did deny a few advances from some of the guys at the club. “And another thing, don't think I didn’t notice the way you were acting on the dance floor, I saw all of i-! You ended the call. You could have this conversation in the privacy of your dorm tomorrow,  after she cooled off and you did a bit of reflection.

“She sounded pretty angry, sure you don’t regret leaving them last night?” Glaring at Jaehyun you threw the covers over your head and began sulking. You didn’t need him reminding you of your actions, you had already had enough for one day. Feeling the bed dip next to you, you shut your eyes tight when the light from outside began peeking into your hideaway. “She’ll get over it.” Jaehyun said shortly before joining you under the covers. You grumbled curling in on yourself. Minjeong would definitely not get over it any time soon. She was going to hold girl code over your head for at least a month or until you paid for her food, whichever came first honestly. 

“Stop being all pouty and watch a movie with me. I’ll send you the money for her food and it’ll all be fine.” God, you were such a bad friend that even Jaehyun knew the protocol when it came to her.

 “I know it’ll all be ok but I still feel like a bad friend.” Jaehyun huffed out a laugh as he snaked his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest. 

“You’re not a bad friend, she probably would’ve left too, besides, Ten and Jimin were there, it’s not like you left her alone.” He did have a point. “Also I’m sure she would’ve rather you leave with me, where she knows you’ll be safe than with some stranger.” Nevermind the point was gone, because she definitely would’ve rather you left with a stranger.

“Agree to disagree.” 

“Why does she hate me so much? I heard her call my head big, is it really?” You giggled a little at that, his head was a little big. 

“She thinks what we’re doing is bad, and can only end in disaster. As much as I've assured her that we’re both happy with the agreement, she still doesn’t approve.” You knew Jaehyun accepted your semi-truthful answer when he let out a small hum, which made you want to sigh in relief. Most of the answer was true but the main reason was because you were getting hurt by him. He didn’t need to know that part though. 

“Wait?”

“Hmm?”

“You never answered my second question.”

“Your head is a little big Jae.”

—————————————————————————

It was time for your entrance of shame. Unfortunately your day with Jaehyun had gone by much faster than you wanted, and before you knew it he was fucking you into his matress before allowing you to fall asleep in his arms. It was hard to peel yourself away from his dark sheets this morning, especially since Jaehyun had you in what could only be described as a death grip. Even so you now stood in front of your dorm room, sighing heavily as you had a one sided staring contest with the door. 

“If you sigh any louder, the door just might actually open!” Busted. Turning the knob you stepped forward into your dorm, staring at a very peeved Minjeong and a less peeved Ten.

 “Hey, how y’all doing?” You elongated your greeting with a nervous smile, neither of them seemed amused. 

“Orange chicken, coke and fried rice. Order three servings of each.” Nodding you fished your phone out of your pocket and began placing the order. 

The three of you were now sitting on the floor, munching on takeout in awkward silence. “So… was the sex at least good?” You tried to suppress your laugh as Minjeong glared at the man sitting next to her. 

“This is a damn public shaming, not a damn kiss and tell bitch.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing loudly. 

“Well obviously the sex was good, I wouldn’t keep going back if it wasn’t.” Minjeong could only stare at you two in disbelief, especially at Ten. He was supposed to be her good cop, but he clearly misunderstood the assignment. Ten hummed, startling slightly as a loud knock interrupted your conversation. 

“Jesus christ, I swear to god if I open this door and big head is on the other side I’m gonna strangle him.”

You and Ten exchanged concerned glances as you watched Minjeong approach the door. Before she could turn the knob, the door swung open, causing your roommate to stumble backwards. A very panicked Yangyang greeted the three of you, before his eyes locked in on what he clearly came for. 

“Yangyang, are you fucking serious? I gave you my location so you know I’m safe, not to stalk me!” You laughed loudly at the way the man in the doorway deadpanned at his boyfriend. Ten rarely got mad, and he wasn’t mad now, but it was so funny to see him annoyed. 

“Yeah and I’m doing exactly that, glad you’re safe by the way.” Minjeong herself wasn’t immune to the exchange and you both found yourselves doubled over in laughter.

 “We literally live in this building, why would I not be safe?” The exasperation in Ten’s voice was becoming even more evident as Yangyang shrugged off the question.

“Well you weren’t in the room, I had to make sure someone didn’t kidnap you, so I came here to confirm you were actually safe.” Ten simply blinked at his boyfriend. 

“Are you horny?” Yangyang smiled nervously, his gums on full display as he averted his boyfriend's gaze. The man on the floor simply rolled his eyes before crossing the room, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand and leaving the dorm with a quick “see ya later, good luck.”

“Jesus, they might just be worse than you and big head. Speaking of, I’m not gonna lecture you. I know no amount of it will change anything, at this point you’re asking to get hurt anyways.” Ouch. That was mean, but she was right. You kept going back to him. Even though you knew he didn’t want you the way you wanted him, at least you got to pretend he did when you were alone with him. “At least he’s good to you when you’re alone, can’t stand the way he treats you in public though.” Minjeong grumbled, a cute pout decorating her features. 

“You and me both, but I already told you, he doesn’t want anything serious, so acting like anything other than my high school bestie would be kinda suspicious.” You reasoned, shoveling some fried rice into your mouth. 

“The only thing that’s suspicious is the way he acts as if he isn’t balls deep inside you every weekend.” God that sounded way harsher than it should’ve. “Literally everyone knows, just because he has his own room in his apartment doesn’t mean his roommates don’t hear you two. Also news flash his roommates are literally our friends, Doyoung and Johnny aren’t dumb.” You knew that, so did Jaehyun, but Jaehyun was stupid and as much as he pretended he didn’t care, you knew he did. If he didn’t you two wouldn’t be such a poorly kept secret. The nature of your relationship would definitely be confusing, but much less so than it is now. 

—————————————————————————

Spring break approached not too long after and you currently found yourself in the passenger seat of Jaehyun’s car, with a sleeping Minjeong, Ten and Yangyang in the back. Jaehyun’s hand was resting on top of your thigh while the other gripped the wheel. The wind was blowing through your hair as the warm sun beat down through the sunroof. You loved moments like these, moments where things felt normal and where Jaehyun wasn’t afraid to be affectionate, but they rarely happened when your friends were around. 

Jaehyun was humming lowly to a song on the radio, while you had your eyes closed, head leaning back against the headrest. You didn’t miss the way Jaehyun’s thumb began tracing circles on your thigh, or the way his hand started moving up, edging close to where your skirt ended and your underwear began. “Jae,” you kept your tone firm, side eyeing him a little. “Ok, sorry.” He grumbled reluctantly, pulling his hand back to a safer distance on your thigh. 

“How far away are we?”

“Bout 20 minutes.” 

You made an affirmative sound before grabbing his phone to queue up a few songs. As you were searching you couldn’t help but notice the tinder notification that dropped down. You could feel an ugly sensation twisting at the bottom of your stomach, but tried your best to ignore it and just focus on the task at hand.

—————————————————————————

The 20 minutes went by just as quickly as they’d started and now you were getting settled. The current issue at hand was picking rooms for the singles and who would room with who. Well it wasn’t really an issue, but someone was being stubborn. 

“Dude, it makes more sense for you to room with Doyoung.” Johnny deadpanned at Jaehyun. 

“I mean when you think about it, I’ve known Y/N longer so does it really?” You could only stare in disbelief at your best friend. 

“Jae, listen to yourself right now, you’re seriously trying to make Minnie room with Doyoung?” Jaehyun huffed at you, as if to say you weren’t helping the situation. 

“It’s not like they’ll be sharing a bed, they just have to be in the same room.” You seriously couldn’t believe his reasoning right now, or why he was so adamant about you two sharing a room. Yes it was one of the rooms with a shared bed, but it’s as if he’s asking for your friends to read into the two of you more than they already were. 

“God this is pointless, I’ll share a room with Doyoung. Now can someone please start making dinner?” You tried to stop Minjeong but she simply shook her head before sending a quick glare over at Jaehyun. He didn’t even flinch as he picked up his and your suitcases before taking them to the bedroom. You followed Jaehyun to the bedroom, standing in the doorframe with your arms crossed. 

“Why do you want to share a room?” Jaehyun looked at you as if it was obvious, eliciting a scoff from you. “We cannot do that with everyone here, as much as you like to pretend they don’t know, they do.” He just looked away, like a child who had been caught doing something bad. “Let’s just try to have a good time.” You sighed, flopping down on the bed, removing your phone from your back pocket. Before you could turn the device on you felt a large weight on top of you, pushing all the air out of you. “Jae, get off!” 

“Nah I’m good.” You rolled your eyes, trying to roll over to see if you could get him off of you, but we're stuck. 

“Jae I can’t breathe,” He made a sound of indifference, dropping his head in the junction between your shoulder and neck. 

“You smell good.” Usually that kind of comment would make you blush, but the loss of air was too prominent for you to process his comment. 

“I’m not gonna smell good if I’m dead, get off!” A groan left the man’s lips before he rolled off of you, finally able to take a breath you sighed in content. The content didn’t last long though as you were soon being pulled onto Jaehyun’s lap. “Jae! If someone walks past we’re screwed, stop!” He simply rolled his eyes, before shushing you. 

“We’ll just pretend we’re wrestling or something, chill.” He had to be on crack, why was he so chill about you being on his lap in a house full of your closest friends? 

“Jeong Jaehyun, are you on something?” He only blinked up at you, as if you were the one being weird.

 “No I'm not. Why are you being so weird just chill out-“ The sound of the door closing cut off his sentence and also had you jumping off of him quickly. You looked around frantically praying that it wasn’t Johnny or Mark who had closed the door. When your phone chimed you were relieved to see a text from Minjeong,

Minnie💜: next time close the door, mark almost saw y’all 

“See it was a bad idea, Mark almost saw us!” The man next to you just deadpanned at you as if nothing was wrong. It made you want to scream, but instead of doing that you just got up from the bed and walked out of the room. 

“Have fun in there?” Minjeong commented as you sat down on the couch next to her. 

“No, because he’s being weird.” Minjeong rolled her eyes as if that was anything new. 

“He’s always weird, but whatever, I think I know what you mean. Come on, dinner's almost ready.” You nod, following your roommate to the kitchen. 

After dinner, you all decided to hit the beach for a bit, some of the guys ended up going into the water, while you and Minjeong stayed on land. “Did you ever figure out why dumbass wanted to room with you?” You groaned and hung your head, you knew she would ask this. 

“To have sex I guess, but I don’t want to do that while all of y'all are in the house.” That was the best rationalization you could come up with, and hopefully it would also work on Jae. 

“Meh, two out of five have already heard you having sex, what’s three more?” Minjeong shrugged, causing you to groan in shame. 

“Yeah,but I don’t like it when Johnny and Doyoung hear us either, it’s just unfortunately inevitable.” Minjeong tossed her head side to side, pursing her lips as she thought over your words.

 “Yeah, but whatever, we're here to have fun, and I’m sure you two won’t be the only ones fucking.” She motioned to Ten and Yangyang who were in the middle of a splashing battle. 

“They’re actually together though.”

“Yeah, but I doubt anyone will be able to tell the difference between you and Ten’s moans, so I say use it to your advantage.” 

“You’re offly calm about the situation, usually you would be telling me not to give in and shit. What's up with you?” You looked at her with a skeptical glare as she took a sip from her water bottle. 

“Oh, Jaehyun said he’ll buy me food all week if I refrain from being an asshole. So as far as I’m concerned, you can be with him as much as you want.” You scoffed at her response before directing your attention to the ocean where all the guys were throwing a foam football around. Jaehyun fumbled the foam toy, but after jumping he was able to catch it before crashing down into the ocean. He reammerged shaking his head violently as his toothy grin was on full display. You see his mouth move without really hearing what any of he’s saying, but all you could think about was how good he looked with his wet hair and low hanging trunks. Especially with the water droplets that were cascading down his body. You followed one droplet that slid from his pec, through his abs and finally meeting with the dark hair of his happy trail. You couldn’t help but blush thinking about what was under his trunks. Sighing deeply you threw a hand over your face trying to think about anything but how good he looked. You shouldn’t think about him like this, especially because he never seemed to have thoughts like this about you. If he did he would never admit it out loud, but you didn’t expect him to. 

—————————————————————————

“Don’t look now, I think Jaehyun wants you to join him.” It had been a bit of time and you were now sunbathing on your stomach.You hadn’t been looking at the ocean, but Minjeong’s comment made you direct your attention back towards the water. Jaehyun was indeed making his way over and he seemed to have a certain determined glint in his eyes. 

“Hey loser, come swim.” Well that definitely made you want to do anything but that. 

“Hey nerd, I’m good.” You scoffed in response before turning your head away from him and closing your eyes. You heard Jaehyun click his teeth before you felt a pair of hands on your sides. “Jae…” You warned, but it fell on deaf ears as he tightened his grip. Before you could protest further you were airborne. “Jaehyun, put me down!” 

Jaehyun ignored you and began stalking towards the water. You kicked and screamed the whole way, no doubt causing a scene, but it was the best effort you could manage. He was carrying you like a sack of potatoes so you had a perfect view of his ass and did the only thing you could think of at that moment. 

You slapped it.

Jaehyun stopped for a moment and you thought that would be enough to end his reign of terror. Apparently it had only just begun as a harsh slap landed on your bottom. You cried out in pain, slumping in embarrassment. Your friends were all looking at you and Jaehyun didn’t seem to care. You could hear the crashing waves growing closer and before you knew it your face was only inches away from the water. “Jae, I don’t wanna get my hair wet, put me down please!” You prayed he didn’t decide to just drop you out of spite, but he’s been very unpredictable lately so you didn’t know what his plan was. To your surprise he gently put you down in the water, hands lingering on your waist as he looked down at you. “Are you happy now?” Despite your unamused expression Jaehyun didn’t falter and nodded with a small smile on his lips. “Can I go back now?”

“No.” 

You groaned before plopping down in the water, not caring about anything anymore, even your hair. “Stop being a baby, get up.” Jaehyun was trying his best not to laugh at your childish behavior, but the way you were pouting and refusing to make eye contact with him made it hard.

“I hope a wave drowns me.” You mumbled under your breath, but Jaehyun somehow still heard and couldn’t help the small chuckle he let out. “So you hope I die? That was your plan all along, drag me out here so you could kill me.” 

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Am I?”

 Jaehyun looked at you like you were crazy before coming down to your level. “I think the baby needs a nap.” The way he was speaking to you made you want to punch him in the face.

“I do not, I would just rather be on dry land,

then have my butt in wet sand.” He was definitely gonna clock you because you’re the one who sat down but you hoped your argument would work.

“You literally sat down in the sand-“

“Shut up big head.”   

As if karma suddenly decided to punish everyone but your menace best friend a wave washed over you causing you to get soaked. Coughing up water you rubbed at your eyes to try and ease the pain the salt was causing. “Jae, it stings! Ow ow ow!” You couldn’t do anything to ease the burning but blink. All you could hear were waves and Jaehyun’s loud laughter while you were writing in agony below him. 

“Guess you shouldn’t have sat down huh?” You really wanted to punch him now. Yes he was right but you didn’t have to admit that.

“Can you please help me, I can’t see.” 

“Is my head big?” You were seriously going to punch him.

“I can’t see it, so no.”

“Good enough.” You assumed he shrugged before grabbing you like you weighed nothing once again.

—————————————————————————

Once back at the house you hopped in the shower almost immediately. You wanted to wash all the sand and grime off of you before you completely dried. The hot water felt good after such a long day. You were allowing the water to just run over you, taking your time and just relaxing. You were so zoned out you didn’t even notice that the shower door opened, nor did you notice Jaehyun who was standing behind you. 

“It’s fucking hot in here.” Jaehyun’s deep voice caused you to jump, almost slipping on the wet tile beneath you. 

“Jaehyun, fuck! Why are you here?” 

“I’m showering duh.” He blinked at you, as if you were asking a dumb question. 

“You couldn’t have waited ten minutes, I was almost done.” Jaehyun was a lot of things but impatient wasn’t usually one of them. He’s been acting weird since last weekend and you didn’t get why. Jaehyun was weird, but this was just plain concerning. Was he dying, did he do something that he didn’t want you to know about? All of it was so baffling, especially the fact that he was currently getting on his knees. “What are you..?” You trailed your gaze down to him. He was looking at you with an unreadable expression, one that you’re not sure you liked. Before you could protest or even attempt to make your way out of the shower, Jaehyun was grabbing you firmly by the ass and pulling you forward. “Jae, what the hell has gotten into you?” You struggled to work against his strength and unfortunately you also risked falling if you didn’t give into whatever he wanted. 

“No one’s here, chill” He said that so easily and for all you knew everyone was back or on their way. “Stop worrying, I can hear your thoughts form here.” Curse him and his stupid intuition. Fighting was useless at this point, so you knew the only thing you could do was attempt to relax and give in to whatever he was planning. Suddenly it was very hard to relax when Jaehyun was throwing your leg over his shoulder, bringing his face close to your core. “You’re gonna have to be quiet, just in case they come back” He said, glancing at you.

“What if they come looking for us?” All the anxieties Jaehyun usually worried about were controlling you. You didn’t know if you were doing it for his or your sake at this point since he was so calm about the situation. 

“I locked the door.” He said simply, slotting his frame closer to yours. 

“They’re gonna know.”

“Let them.” 

You couldn’t interject any further, Jaehyun’s mouth was on your core, causing a choked out moan to leave you. Jaehyun rarely ate you out, but when he did, he made sure it was something you would remember. You’ve had to beg him a few times to do it, which haven’t been your proudest moments, but you definitely didn’t regret them. Even now with the fear of your friends coming back and catching the two of you. Jaehyun fucked his tongue into you before pulling away to latch onto your clit. You were trying your best to keep quiet, but one glare from Jaehyun told you that he wanted you to be loud. 

The sounds of Your moans and Jaehyun obscene slurping reverberated off the bathroom walls. All of it only causes you to grow closer to you high and Jaehyun’s occasional deep groans weren’t helping the situation. He was alternating between tongue fucking your cunt and sucking on your clit and now he was using two fingers along with his tongue to stretch you. “Jae, too much, I’m gonna cum.” Your words were a bit slurred which embarrassed you since it didn’t take long for you to become so fucked out. Your pleas only made him go harder, adding a third finger into your sopping heat while moving his mouth back to your clit to suck roughly. Your hands found purchase in his wet hair, pushing him closer into you as you began grinding against his mouth. 

“Taste so good…” He muffled against your cunt. “All for me isn’t it?” You were silent, save for the occasional whimper you would let out. “I asked you a question.” Jaehyun squeezed your ass roughly, looking up at you through hooded lids. The scene beneath you was so filthy especially since he was still pleasuring you as he awaited your answer. You nodded, letting out a shaky breath when he mumbled, “good girl,” while still lapping at your folds.

A staccato of moans left you as you approached your high. You were gripping Jaehyun’s hair with all your might as you struggled to not collapse on top of him. “Jae… close…” You could barely get the words out as he suckled on your clit, pushing two fingers in your cunt to make up for the loss of his tongue. 

It only took a few more pumps of his fingers before you were cumming. You nearly fell over from how fucked out you were, but Jaehyun managed to help you keep your balance. “You ok?” He asked from beneath you, you could only nod breathlessly, leaning back onto the shower wall as you tried to chase away the gaze of your orgasm. He stood up, towering over you with a shit eating grin, and as much as you wanted to roll your eyes you refrained. Even though you wanted to be annoyed at Jaehyun, you couldn’t since he had given you one of the best orgasms you had ever had. “Let me wash you.” Humming in agreement you handed him the shampoo bottle. He popped the cap open and proceeded to give what could only be described as the best scalp massage in history. You could feel yourself falling asleep underneath the hot stream of water, but Jaehyun was able to keep you awake with his soothing words and praises. Once he washed the suds from your hair he ran conditioner throughout before moving on to washing your body. He took extra care to be gentle on the areas he knew were most sensitive.

Once Jaehyun finished helping you, you did your best to return the favor. Much like you had he was also fighting sleep, and it was cute watching him try his best to keep his eyes open. It was also ironic that he was sleepy, considering you were the one who just came all over his face, but you figured the sun probably had gotten to him. It was especially evident when you were washing his chest, looking up and seeing the small red band of skin across his nose and cheeks. “Aww you got sunburned, did you put aloe on?” 

“No, not yet.” Jaehyun yawned, looking down at you with drowsy eyes.

“At least put it on before you sleep.” You tsked, washing the conditioner out of his hair. Turning off the shower you handed him a towel after stepping out of the small space. Both of you

 dried off and you immediately pulled him over to the toilet to sit down. After grabbing the aloe from your suitcase you popped the cap open and stood in front of the man. Jaehyun winced at the cooling sensation once you began the application , turning away from your touch like a child. You giggled a little, cupping his jaw to keep his head in place. 

“You’re enjoying this a little too much.” His toothy grin taunted you, forcing you to look away from him. 

“You always joked that you wanted me to be your personal nurse.” You teased, booping his nose for that extra annoying effect.

“Yeah once you graduate, not in your first year of nursing school.” 

“You can soothe your own burns then.” Wiping the remaining aloe onto his cheek you began walking off, but in an instant he was gripping your wrist, and pulling you down into his lap.

“I didn’t say stop.” He grumbled, causing you to smirk down at him. You resumed your previous actions, spreading the remaining glob of aloe on his cheek, massaging it into his skin, making sure that the gel was applied evenly. “Thank you.” He said, placing a quick kiss on your cheek. 

“No problem Jae…” To avoid him catching your blush you quickly stood up, to go grab your nightly routine items from your bag.

The two of you finished getting ready for bed together, Jaehyun refused to stop back hugging you the entire time. You complained like you hated it, but secretly you were squealing like a schoolgirl in your head. Finally you two settled into bed, cuddling together as you whispered to each other in the silence of the house. Fatigue was driving most of your conversations so they made no sense, but the sleepy chuckles that Jaehyun was letting out sounded like music to your ears. It was a sound you wanted to fall asleep to and wake up to, nothing could beat the feelings that he gave you, even if they were fleeting.

✨ 

It was the last  day of vacation, you and the gang decided to hit up the boardwalk, initially you had all gone as a group. However due to some people not wanting to go on rides you all decided to split into small groups and of course you and Jaehyun happened to be alone. 

Jaehyun had basically been dragging you around all night, but you didn’t mind. You had rode almost all the rides, save for the ferris wheel because the line was long and now you were walking while sharing some cotton candy. The silence between you was comfortable as you walked side by side. You brought up a piece of the sugary snack to his lip’s which he took, while playfully nipping at your fingertips. “Quit it, weirdo, my fingers are all sticky because of you.” You complained, inspecting the pink sugar sticking to your fingertips and nails. 

“If you let me lick it off, it won’t be sticky anymore.” He grinned, gripping your hand in an attempt to force it into his mouth. 

“Jae stop, people are staring!” 

“Eh let them, they probably just think we’re a weird ass couple.” 

“You’re the weird one not me.” You rolled your eyes, popping another piece of cotton candy in your mouth. 

“Yeah sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.” You were about to fight back but Jaehyun pulled you in the direction of a game before you could say anything. The both of you were standing in front of a dart stand and before you knew it Jaehyun was taking out a few bills and paying the game master. You watched silently as Jaehyun popped the balloons one by one, fully focused on his task. You hadn’t even realized he ran out of darts until he was taking another bill out for another round. You were so confused because you thought for sure he was going for the stupid looking snake plush that had a sharp red tongue pointed towards you. Then you looked up a tier and saw a large bear and it hit you. It definitely hit you when before you knew it the bear was being shoved into your grasp.

“A lucky prize for the lucky lady, he’s a keeper.” The game attendant spoke fondly looking at you and Jaehyun. 

You didn’t miss the smug look Jaehyun had on his face as he looked down at you, but it melted into something you’d never seen before. 

“Thanks for the bear, you didn’t have to.” You and Jaehyun were now sitting at the top of the ferris wheel, overlooking the entire boardwalk. He was pressed to your side with an arm wrapped around your waist and his head resting on yours.

“No problem, I saw you looking at it when we first got here.” Of course he did. He notices everything. Sometimes you wished he didn’t. You wished he was like most men who had to have it spelled out for them. The same men that broke your heart countless times. He was different, charming, and made you feel things that you wish you didn’t. He was supposed to be your best friend for god's sake, and here you were head over heels for someone that would probably never reciprocate your feelings. “Stop thinking so hard.” Jesus, how does he always know? 

“I’m not.” 

“You are.”

You huffed and attempted to scoot away from him, but he just drew you back to his side. “Jae, why do you do this?” He looked down at you as if you had two heads, puffing out a small laugh. “I’m being serious, what game are you playing at, huh?” 

“I’m not sure what “game” you’re referring to.” He emphasized his words with finger quotations.

“Just the way you act. Sometimes you treat me like a friend, other times you treat me like a fuck buddy, but sometimes…” You didn’t want to continue in fear that he would catch on to you and your feelings. 

“Sometimes?” He pressed, one eyebrow slightly raised.

“Sometimes you treat me… like not just a friend.” You couldn’t say the words out loud, if you didn’t outwardly admit it then it didn’t exist, right?

“You mean like a girlfriend?” 

Fuck.

“Yeah… like that.” 

A deep sigh came from him and you hated it. It sounded wrong, not like his usual sighs, no,  this was a sigh of annoyance. “Look… I guess the way I act can make things confusing, but we both agreed on no feelings.” You didn’t say anything about feelings, why was he bringing up feelings? “I’m not saying you have feelings for me, but everything I do is strictly because of our arrangement. Don’t get it twisted ok?” Nodding you swallowed the lump in your throat as you avoided eye contact. He knows, there’s no way he doesn’t. This is it, your arrangement is over and you lost the one thing you never had to begin with. The small car in the ferris wheel is starting to feel suffocating and you wish you could just get to the bottom already, but you were only about halfway there.

You spent 5 more minutes trapped in suffocating silence before your car finally touched the ground again. You quickly exited, not even bothering to look back at Jaehyun. It was time to meet up with your friends anyway so you made a beeline for Minjeong when you spotted her, quickly taking her hand in yours. You were practically dragging her behind you and if the unshed tears in your eyes weren’t enough to tell her something was wrong your rushed behavior certainly was. 

“Hey, I need you to breathe, what’s wrong?” She was able to redirect you into an alley where who she assumed was the issue wouldn’t see you. 

“I think he knows.” The tears were breaking free now, clouding your vision as you spoke.

“Knows what, what does he know?” You were trying to give her an answer between your stuttered breaths but the words were just getting stuck in your throat. After a few moments though Minjeong put it all together. “Oh… love I’m so sorry.” She knew this wasn’t the time to be a smartass. As much as she didn’t like your arrangement, she would never invalidate you when you were this distraught. “Let’s go back to the house and we can go talk about it on the beach, I’ll see if I can get Doyoung to move into your room if you want?” 

“No, if I go to a different room it’ll only confirm his hunch. I just need to stick it out for this last night.” 

—————————————————————————

You and Minjeong returned to the house much later than everyone. You had sat out on the beach for a while just talking. A good chunk was about the elephant in the room, but you also changed the subject just to lighten the mood. By the end of it you felt less dreadful walking back into your room, even when you made eye contact with Jaehyun. He was laying in bed, shirtless, scrolling through his phone. You hoped he wouldn’t bring up the calls you missed from him and when you were able to walk into the bathroom after grabbing your pajamas, you figured you were off the hook. 

After a very long shower and diving into your more extensive skincare routine, you finally walked into the room. Jaehyun had finally fallen asleep to your surprise and relief so you felt less nervous having to slip in next to his sleeping frame. You tried to leave some space between the two of you, and initially it was fine, but only after a few minutes Jaehyun had his arm around your waist. You weren’t surprised when he pulled you into his chest, you should’ve known it was too good to be true that he would actually be asleep.

“After tonight… we should end this.” 

“Kay.”

—————————————————————————

The next morning was awkward. 

You and Jaehyun packed up your bags in silence and once you two left your room, it was very apparent that something was amiss.

You wanted to laugh when Mark mumbled “Looks like mom and dad are fighting,” to Johnny who just elbowed him in response. Could it even be called a fight? You two just woke up and decided not to speak to each other, but you didn’t think it was a fight.

Finally all your bags were packed up in the car and all of you were piling into the vehicles. Jaehyun still helped you with your bag, which annoyed you for some reason. You kept having to remind yourself that you two were still friends, it’s just that you weren’t fucking anymore.

The whole ride back you were texting with Minjeong. It felt like the two of you were on the beach again with what you were talking about. Every now and then Jaehyun would steal glances at you, but you didn’t flinch or react. He was probably worried since he was Mr. Heartbreaker, but somehow you were taking everything well. You knew you could still talk to him and hangout, but you would need a little bit of time to get over your feelings. 

After a few hours Winter, Ten, Yangyang, and yourself were being dropped off at the dorms. You all waved Jaehyun goodbye, but we’re confused when he didn’t immediately pull off, and when he was motioning for you to come over. Winter and the two men took that as their cue to give you some privacy, promising to meet you in the dorms afterwards.

“Something wrong?” You asked, standing a small distance away from his car.

“Are we cool, like we’re still friends right?” That was a dumb question, but you guess the silent treatment was probably confusing him. You were just doing what he was though, but I guess he wanted you to take the lead for once.

“Yeah we’re friends, we just won’t be doing… that anymore, but we’re friends.” Why was this starting to feel more awkward than the beach house?

“Cool… have a good day.” 

“Yeah, you too.”

Then he sped off.

[forever-rogue]

i would KILL for the [  HEAT  ] i love you prompt with sweet eddie boy if you should be so gracious

AN | Hmmm, but no, I really enjoyed this prompt 🥰

Prompt | [  HEAT  ]: while engaged in a passionate argument with one another, the sender, in the heat of the moment, blurts out “I love you!” to the receiver.

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.1k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You liked Eddie Munson. You really liked Eddie Munson. You’d only been dating a few months after meeting at his shop when you’d brought in your car. You hadn’t expected to meet a very cute and very likable mechanic…but one thing had led to another, he’d asked you out and the rest was history.  

He was a good friend, a wonderful boyfriend, and all around probably already your favorite human. But - like with most people - he had flaws. And one of his flaws, perhaps even his fatal flaw, was the fact that he tended to be spacey and forgetful. It had never led to any real issues or problems.

But tonight…it had. 

Tonight you found yourself sitting in a very nice restaurant all by yourself. And it sucked about as much as one would think. For the first fifteen minutes you thought he was just running late; after half an hour you were worried something had happened; forty-five minutes in and you were just getting mad; an hour in and you knew he’d forgotten. 

The pity looks you were getting from the people around you were brutal. And, naturally, it seemed like every single person there happened to be on a date. Was today some sort of unspoken date night? Ugh. 

When you couldn’t handle it any longer, you stood up, tossed some money onto the table to make pay for the wine you’d had and for taking up the table for so long. Maybe when you got back to your apartment you’d find that he left a message on your answering machine or something to explain his sudden absence. 

But when you got home, there were no messages, no notes or anything. Your heart broke a little bit when you realized that he’d probably just forgotten. You caught your reflection in the hallway and frowned at the sight. You were all dolled up in a pretty little velvet dress with your hair and makeup all done. You hadn’t done it specifically for Eddie, but wanted to look nice among other things. Now that all went to waste and you were just the pretty little pathetic girl that was stood up. With a heavy sigh you pulled out your earrings, tossing them on the little side table. 

Still worried that something might have happened to him, you grabbed the phone received off the wall and quickly dialed his number. It rang and rang all the while you were tapping your foot anxiously just waiting for him. Eventually it kicked over his answering machine; you hung up, not wanting to embarrass yourself further. 

“Well then,” you whispered into the still quietness of your apartment. You kicked off your heels before dragging yourself to the bathroom. Maybe a steaming hot shower would help take your mind off things - you knew it wouldn’t, but it was worth a try. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The next day you felt mildly better and reminded yourself that everything would be fine. After all, you didn’t need Eddie, you’d gone so long without him in your life that you could go back to it without him. Although it would definitely sucked and to be honest, you hoped it wouldn’t come to that. You were just being a little dramatic and stubborn, which you were totally entitled to be, thank you very much. 

You were halfway through your day, sitting at your desk at work and staring at the ceiling when your phone rang. It startled you and you almost jumped out of your chair before taking a moment to collect yourself. With a huff you answered, “hello?”

“Hey sweetheart,” oh. Oh - this man really had the audacity to act like nothing was wrong, “how’s my favorite girl?”

“I don’t know, Edward,” you heard his inhale at the sound of his full name. You drummed your fingers along your desk, “how am I?”

“Baby, what’s wrong?” he really either was completely clueless or he just didn’t care. And you knew Eddie, knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t like that. He had a big heart with good intentions, even if it didn’t always deem like that, “did something happen?”

“Eddie,” you pinched the bridge of your nose, silently shaking his head, “what happened last night?”

“What do you mean?” his tone was marred in confusion as the back of your eyes started to prickle with tears. He’d really just forgotten about your date night, “I-I was with Steve and we went out for a few drinks.”

“Oh, well that’s great Eddie. Hope you had a fantastic time,” you heard him sigh lightly. You should have been the one sighing, “did you forget about me on purpose or by accident?”

“Fuck,” you heard him groan, “that was last night?”

“Yes, Eddie.”

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” and to be fair, he did actually sound like he was sorry, “I thought that was tomorrow…”

“Tuesday, Eddie,” you tried your best not to cry at the fact that he had literally forgotten about you, “not Thursday.”

“Honey-”

“I got all dressed up and went to the restaurant and sat by myself for an hour,” you choked up and the sound caused Eddie’s heart to constrict, “I was worried that something had happened to you but you were just out with Steve. Glad to know someone got to spend the evening with you.”

“I know apologizing doesn’t make it better,” he groaned softly, “but I truly did not mean to. You know I wouldn’t just skip out on you. You’re my girl. I’ll make it up to you, I swear. Whatever you want - look we can go out tonight-”

“Eddie, I’ve gotta go,” you lied, blinking back your tears. It was probably so silly and childish to get so upset but here you were. 

“Can I-”

“Bye,” you hung up the phone before he could even say anything, wanting to slink away and pretend that this never happened. Eddie groaned loudly as he slammed the receiver back on the phone base. 

“Fuck me,” he scrubbed a hand over his tired face, already trying to think about how he was going to make it up to you. He knew he was going to have to do something.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You were pretty sure that Eddie had called several times since you’d been home but you hadn’t picked up the phone. Was it childish and silly? Probably. But honestly, you weren’t in the mood. You’d rather not have an argument with him and then figure things out the next day. 

It was when you were about halfway through a pint of ice cream and some cheesy rom-com while curled up on the couch when you heard a heavy knock on the door. You thought about it ignoring it, but almost as if the person on the other side read your mind, the knocking only increased. 

It was probably Mrs. Crean from down the hall looking for her cat again…he got out at least once a week. She really should  make sure he didn’t get out everytime she opened the door (although maybe he had a good reason for trying to leave but that was a worry for another day). 

“Coming!” with a groan you set the ice cream container down and trudged towards the door. You didn’t even bother to look through the peephole and opened the door, “what?”

“Hi sweetheart,” oh. You looked up and found Eddie looking back at you with a soft expression in his eyes. 

“Eddie,” you sighed lightly, “what are you doing here?”

“I came to see you,” he frowned slightly at your lack of enthusiasm at seeing him, “you weren’t answering your phone.”

“That’s because I didn’t want to talk right now,” you admitted, “I’m fine. We can talk tomorrow.”

“Babe,” you should have known that he wouldn’t just leave and take a no for an answer. He was a stubborn man, which normally was a quality you loved about him, “don’t be like this.”

“Fine,” you stepped aside so he could come in and closed the door after him, “we can talk then. What do you want to talk about?”

“You know what,” he insisted, following you into the kitchen and leaning against the counter, “maybe the fact that you’re acting like a petulant child because of one little mistake.”

“Little mistake,” your eyebrows knitted together as you looked at him incredulously, “we had a whole date night planned and you just forgot about it! And what were you doing instead? Drinking with your friend!”

‘I don’t know what you want me to say besides the fact that I’m sorry,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “I’d never do that to you on purpose, you know that. What if it ever happens to you? Would you want me to ask like this?”

“That’s the thing - I would never do that to you,” you insisted, “because I write things down so I don’t forget them. All it takes is a little bit of organization, Edward.”

“I’m sorry I can’t be like you, Little Miss Perfect,” his mocking wasn’t entirely mean but it still caused you to huff, “are you really going to act like this everytime something goes even slightly wrong?”

“LIke what?”

“Like a spoiled brat,” he might have been slightly right, but in the moment it just served to annoy you even more. Your mouth formed into a pretty little pout and he was half tempted to just kiss it away and apologize. But both of you were stubborn little fools.

“If that’s how you feel,” you frowned at him, both of you leaning into each other, “then just go. We don’t have to continue any of this, if you can’t take things seriously.”

“Me?” he huffed, “maybe you shouldn’t be so dramatic after I made one mistake!”

“I’m not dramatic,” you insisted, “you’re not taking this seriously. Maybe we shouldn’t do this anymore. If we can’t even see eye to eye on something like this.”

“You think I’m just going to let you break up with me?” He put his hands on his hips.

“I’m not letting you do or not doing anything,” you countered, and the tension that settled over the two of you was palpable, “I’m telling you.”

“Nope,” he insisted, “we’re not breaking up over one little agreement.”

“Yes we are!”

“We are not.”

“Why not?” you groaned and threw up your hands in frustration, “tell me.”

“Because I love you!” oh. Oh. And there were those three little words that you hadn’t heard him say and you hadn’t said either. You’d thought them so many times, but you’d always talked yourself out of them, nerves getting the better of you. But he’d finally had the nerve, his cheeks flushing a pretty pink, “because I’m in love with you and I think it’s stupid to throw away what we have over one stupid mistake. And I am sorry for it - truly.”

“You love me?” you softened instantly as he looked at you as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Eddie?”

“Of course,” he promised, “I love you a ton. And you are worth fighting for.”

“I love you,” you whispered in return and his entire face brightened as he smiled that pretty smile you adored, “Eddie.”

His large, warm hands found your face as he stroked over your cheek. Before you could stop yourself, you wrapped your fingers around his wrists and pulled him in for a kiss. His lips were soft against yours and you let him kiss you dizzy, pulling into his frame until you were both breathless and looking at each other with soft eyes and shy smiles.

“I’m sorry for acting like such a brat,” you pressed a few more soft kisses to his lips, “I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”

“I’m sorry for forgetting,” he rested his forehead against yours, “I didn’t mean to, but I am sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

“Are we okay?” he asked, so nervous that it caused you to giggle softly. 

“We’re okay,” you nodded, “I love you, Eddie. You’re worth fighting for too.”

“Good,” he grinned mischievously, “now - let me start making it up to you.”

“Yes, please.”

[radioisntdead]

Howdy, I was the first ask with adult child/Niece/Nephew.

So now that we've established how she is with family 👀 Extermination day. How would she react to them getting hurt or almost killed?

Good evening my dear! Thank you so much for being the first ask for Susan before! I know you asked for hurt or almost killed but I, may have taken it a step further, This will be angsty, leaning more towards being Susan's child in this one

Warnings!

Cannibalism, some angst, straight up angst, there is death here, not proofread so pardon any spelling mistakes, I got carried away here, Oops!

Susan did NOT survive this long only to get taken out during extermination day, she definitely took out several exorcists, I think she had an axe in one scene but I can't remember if that actually was a thing or if I'm misremembering and that just appeared in my brain munching on a few of them whenever she got the chance too.

She thought you would be good on your own, however she was surely mistaken when she spotted you getting slashed by a exorcist while trying to defend one of the younger cannibals, thankfully one of the others stepped in to help you, saving your life.

However that didn't undo the wound on your stomach, your recovery period was filled with Susan scolding you about getting injured, after all she was older then you and she didn't even get a scratch!

She would scold you if you dared get up, pushing you back down and covering you with a blanket, bringing you soup and tea until you were healed,

She'd never tell you about the genuine fear she felt when she saw you get slashed, many cannibals lost their lives that day, getting killed by angelic weapons meant that you were NOT coming back, she couldn't look at the clothes you were wearing that day the torn fabric and the now dried blood that covered it served as a cruel reminder that you could've died.

Susan may appear heartless, and she's an entitled grumpy old lady but she cared for you,

After all you were one of the only family members that truly cared for her.

Now this is if you keep your life, but what if you didn't?

Susan didn't know where you were, the exorcists had fled, Adam was dead, and many people had permanently lost their life that day.

Including you.

One of the other cannibals found you, spear still stuck in your chest, eyes glazed over and dried tears coating your face.

No one wanted to break the news to Susan but they didn't have too, a small group of your surviving friends surrounded you, mourning and trying to figure out what to do,

Susan broke through them, nothing could prepare anyone for the look of pure horror and heartbreak that appeared on her face.

She tapped your corpse gently with her cane, tell you to stop playing pranks and get up, swearing at you, once the small reality kicked in that you weren't getting up, She'd lean down beside you, gently placing a hand on your face and closing your eyelids,

With your eyes closed you almost looked like you were sleeping.

The aftermath was bad, the house she lived in was empty without you, and there were traces of you everywhere, the dirty dishes you left in the sink saying you'd do them once everything had passed, your clothing that was still in the closet forever waiting to be worn by someone who didn't exist anymore, the awful slippers you insisted on purchasing much to Susan's dismay still by the door way, a dent on the wall from you running into it, a small stain on the carpet from you spilling a smidge of grape juice onto it.

She was bad before but she became worse, more bitter, angry that you were gone, the young were supposed to outlive the old, not the other way around.

Did you think I was done? No.

Let's tweak that last bit,

Susan was capable no doubt, even if she was old,

But she was still an old lady, so you stayed close to her just in case, she handled her own well, but when that exorcist gunned for her, you didn't even think, you just moved infront of her taking the hit for her, angelic weapon stabbing you before being pulled back out, you swung your weapon taking out the exorcist but the damaged had been done, Susan scolded you as you bled out in her arms, calling you an imbecile, a reckless fool,

you laughed saying you were going to miss her scolding you, you told her that you'd do it again if it meant protecting her after all, she was family, she was your family and you loved her despite her faults.

Susan wasn't one for kind comforting words but the last words you heard made you smile, It took you dying to hear those words but it was nice.

You died with a smile on your face, You died saving someone dear to you, Saving her life at the expense of your own.

And that foolish, selfless, and love filled act of yours gave you a shiny Halo and a spot with Sir Pentious.

Good evening everyone! Thank you for tuning in! I hope you enjoyed this, I may have teared up while writing, I got one more request to go before I'm finished with all of em' so feel free to send in a request, I enjoy writing these!

have a wonderful night folks!

[maximoffcarter]

Ice Queen 2.0.

Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot

Summary: Alexandra Cabot is known as the Ice Queen, and after a while, she learned to embrace it. Casey Novak, was known for her tough attitude and showed no fear. What happened when the squad gets on Novak's nerves?

A/n: I bring you another Calex one shot🫡This was requested by @saurgaeee so this is specially dedicated for them hehe. Yes, in my mind, this is set between S11 and S13 and Elliot is still there, Amanda and Amaro had joined, and that's that haha. I hope you guys enjoy this aaand if you have any more requests, please don't hesitate on sending an ask or message. I'm a nice person, I promise haha you don't have to be shy or afraid to talk to me. Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

Alexandra Cabot was known for being ‘The Ice Queen’, she couldn’t deny that for a while it annoyed to even hear that nickname, but after a while, she learn to grow into it because she figured out that people feared her, which made her powerful in some way, knowing people wouldn’t want to mess with her. She knew how to get what she wanted, and if she didn’t, she would go out of her way to do so. In court, she wasn’t playing, she was also not doing it to be in the headline of the newspaper, she wanted justice and if she had to be The Ice Queen to get it, then bring it on. Everyone already knew that if they got under her skin, they were done for sure, the whole squad had seen it, hell, the whole precinct had seen it. Casey had seen it. Of course it hadn’t been against her, never her. She was probably the only person that had been safe from the Ice Queen, even when she did something that could upset Alex, she could never stay upset, she was her girlfriend, she was her weakness, and people knew this, but even trying to have Casey there to protect themselves, it never worked. And honestly? Casey enjoyed it, she just laughed and was the person to say, I told you so.

And here they were once again. Another case that had been handed to Alex and once again, they were trying to have Alex as their servant, getting them warrants for everything when they didn’t even have any proof nor reason to get them. They felt entitled to demand Alex to get them, knowing perfectly that Petrovsky would never actually agree, and she’d get scolded again, and if that’s what they expected her to go through? They were completely in the wrong, and she was done listening to them yelling around, specially Elliot that always thought that because his gut told him so, things had to go his way.

“I will not tell you again. Do you want the warrant? Then find me something that actually works, find me evidence, a witness, anything that is not your stupid gut. If you think Petrovsky is going to give me the warrant just because your goddamn gut told you so, then you talk to her yourself. And let me tell you…if I get scolded for it, it’ll be ten times worst for you.” Alex grabbed her briefcase and looked at Elliot again. “Until you get me something good, don’t even think about calling me or making me waste my time again.”

Alex walked out of the room without looking at anyone else anymore, the whole room had gone quiet and there was no one who could say or stop her. She had said what she had said, and that was the end of it. They all looked at each other, almost speechless for what had just happened. It was even funny how they were so surprised knowing this was definitely not the first time that Alex had gone off on them like this, and certainly it wouldn’t be the last either. Casey just stood there staring at them, not a surprise in her face as she looked at everyone. Elliot then stared at her for a moment, his eyebrows raised as if questioning if she could do something. Almost begging her for anything.

Casey chuckled. “What? You really think I can convince her? After that? You’re out of your mind.” She grabbed her briefcase and shrugged. “You know she’s right. Petrovsky has her eyes on us as it is. Another stunt like this, and both of us will be sleeping in a cell.” She walked to the door and then looked back at Elliot. “Don’t test her, Stabler. You already know the Ice Queen.” She grinned before she left the office.

Casey had stopped to buy lunch for both of them, knowing that after that scene, Alex had completely forgotten that they were going to go for lunch after visiting the precinct. She went to her office to drop off her briefcase and coat and then headed to Alex’s office, who was at her desk reading through the files. Casey closed the door behind her and smiled once Alex looked up at her, an annoyed look on her face. Casey raised the bag of food in her hands and walked to the small table beside Alex’s desk, putting the bag on the table.

“That was quiet a scene.” Casey chuckled softly as she looked at Alex.

“I’m pretty sure the gray hairs I have are not because of my age but because of them.” Alex sighed as she dropped her pen and stood up, walking to Casey. “You know, the other day, Elliot asked me how it was possible that you dealt with me at home.” She grinned.

Casey shook her head. “Did he really say that?”

Alex shrugged. “I know he didn’t mean it. It was the heat of the moment.” She smiled as she looked at Casey, her hand going to Casey’s cheek and stroking it softly. “How do you deal with the Ice Queen back home, Ms. Novak?”

Casey chuckled softly as she placed her hands on Alex’s waist and pulled her close to her body. “I simply start the teasing and she’s over it in an instant.” She smirked.

Alex raised her brows playfully. “Sounds like a good way to get her out of her trance.” She giggled as she kissed Casey’s lips.

Casey smiled against her lips and raised her brow. “See? She’s now gone.” She pecked her lips. “So now, sit down and eat. I’ll help you out a bit before I have to go to my arraignment.”

“You’re an angel.” Alex smiled and sat down, opening the bag to get their food.

********************

After the stunt that Elliot had put, he had come to an agreement with Alex once they found more evidence that Alex took to get the warrants they needed, which also helped her at the end to win the case. It was comical to see how after the case was over, either they won or lost, they completely forgot about the arguments or fights they had, sometimes it was taken personally, but they knew that after the stress and pressure, they could all say things they didn’t mean. And so, they all moved on. This is why they all got along so well, and they were a good team, they understood each other, and they’d always have each other’s back no matter what.

A few days after, they got another case, and this one was handed over to Casey, Alex had joked with them that if they didn’t want to get scolded again, maybe they should hand it to Casey, who seemed to deal with them better than Alex ever did. Yes, Casey got frustrated, she got into arguments with them, she had a tough attitude and always put everyone in their places, but they had not actually seen Casey going off like Alex had done so many times -that’s why the nickname-. As they went over the case, Casey already knew this would be a tough one; a group of teenage boys who raped three students plus the sister of a little girl, and two of those girls…were dead. Of course, the three teenagers had money, which made the case even harder because of missing evidence, missing witnesses, and a ton of bullshit from the attorneys. Casey had been in this situation before, and she didn’t want to make the same mistake again, she didn’t want to put the only victims and witnesses she had in the Grand Jury. She couldn’t risk it, she couldn’t possibly go through that ordeal again of convincing them to testify before the Grand Jury and then having them put in danger because they were brave enough to speak. She had gone over it with the whole squad, making it very clear that she’d only be presenting the statements and that was it, so they had to find more evidence to convict the three teenagers. But there was always the DA’s office that screwed up their plan and Casey always had to listen, more so after her suspension, she was afraid it would happen again.

Casey walked into her office and threw her briefcase to the floor, slamming the door closed and going to the very end of her office. Not only was the DA on her neck, but also Olivia and Amanda were eating her alive when she told them that the girls would testify, and she was still waiting on Elliot and Amaro to find out. Did they really think that it was in her hands? She wasn’t her own boss, she didn’t run the DA’s office. She had to go by the book, so they didn’t have her neck again, she was not about to lose her license. She really didn’t want to do this, she was willing to do everything in her power to not put those girls in that position, but now, she was in a position that if she didn’t do as she was told, they’d either pass the case to someone else, or she’d be punished. She groaned loudly as she slammed her hands on the table, and just in that moment, Alex walked into her office and closed the door behind her. She had gotten a call from Olivia, and she should go check on Casey, and here she was; her girlfriend leaning over the table without saying a word, but she could see her body was trembling.

“Case?”

“Not right now, Alex.”

Alex sighed softly as she looked at Casey again. “What happened?”

“Fucking Cutter happened.” Casey snapped as she breathed heavily, walking to the window, and looking out.

“Casey, the squad will make sure they are safe. Those bastards have hidden every possible evidence that can help you.”

“I know but…this is my case. He doesn’t believe that I have a case without the girls. I can actually do this.” Casey looked at Alex.

Alex walked to her and kissed the side of her head softly. “I know. We all know this. Cutter is just being an ass.” She whispered softly as she put a strand of hair behind her ear, kissing the side of her head again. “I know my girlfriend.” She grinned.

Casey smiled softly as she nodded. “Only you do.” She chuckled.

Before Alex could say anything else, Casey’s phone went off, making her sigh heavily and went to get her phone, picking up her briefcase and putting it on her desk. Alex walked to her and leaned over the desk, looking up at her girlfriend as she answered the call. She took her time to study her face for a moment, noticing that she had never seen Casey looking this upset, let alone trembling because she was upset, but she knew this case was important for her and she regretted a bit that she had denied to have this case because then, Casey wouldn’t be in this position. Just as she thought that Casey had calmed down, she could see that her cheeks gone red and before she knew it, Casey hung up the phone, grabbed her briefcase and out the door she was. Alex furrowed her brows for a moment but followed her rapidly. Something was definitely about to go down.

Normally, Alex wouldn’t be surprised on how fast Casey walked, after all, she played softball, but she was surprised right at this moment as she followed because she could barely get on her pace, and Casey was definitely in a trance because she didn’t hear Alex calling her name. She couldn’t even figure out what was going on before they were in front of the whole squad, Olivia turned to look at both women and she could already tell that they had done something and that was the reason Casey literally flew here. Alex just stood behind Casey, not sure what to do, but slightly jumped as Casey slammed her briefcase in one of their desks, staring at everyone.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

Amanda turned to look at her and sighed softly. “We didn’t have another choice, Novak.”

“You didn’t have-“ Casey scoffed. “You should’ve called me. That was your other choice. You. Call. Me. You do know this will be mentioned in court, right? The defense will argue that you showed up without reason, threatened them and Petrovsky is gonna come for my head when she finds out what you all did.” She shook her head. “I’ll be the one in trouble, not you. And honestly? It’s all of your heads they should be after. This case can go to the trash for your stunt.”

“Call you?” Amaro furrowed his brows. “You wanted us to call you so you can tell us that you can’t get a warrant because we have nothing? Oh, no, we’ve heard that before. You think we’re not doing anything here, but we are.” He stood up from his chair and walked to Casey. “You are the one who is listening to whatever the DA’s office tells you and you don’t change a damn thing.”

Casey stared at him as if she could throw daggers with her eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“We know the girls are going to testify.” Olivia simply said as she looked at Casey.

“You cannot put those girls in the stand, Casey.” Amanda shook her head. “We know the power they have, they could be in danger.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Casey looked at her with a defying stare.

“It’s your case. It’s your choice. You’re the one putting them there! You said we had time to get evidence.” Amaro shrugged. “We’ll say that he attacked us, so we defended ourselves.”

“And you think they’re gonna buy that? You went to their house and beat up not only the father, but one of the boys. They’ll find out and then, they’re coming for our jobs. I am not risking that. I am not gonna risk my job.”

“Oh so, that’s what this is about. You care more about your job than the girls.”

“Drop it, Amaro.” Elliot said as he looked at him.

“No. She cares more about losing her job than putting the girls in danger. Rollins said it. They have money, they have power. Tomorrow the girls testify, and the next day, they’re dead somewhere in the city.”

“I do not want to put them there! Don’t you get it?! I talked to Cutter, I told him I can build a case and he said no. I cannot go above my boss.”

“You did it once! Do it again! It’s like you’re giving them the free pass to get these girls killed!”

“I don’t see you bringing me any evidence.” Casey snapped. “You stand here, ready to yell at me for something I do not have control over. You don’t want me putting them in there? Then get me fucking evidence. I cannot do your goddamn job, I have enough with mine already.” Her voice had changed, this was not Casey, this was ADA Novak. “And no. It is not my choice. I am not my own boss, if I was, trust me, I’d have your ass right now for being here and not looking for evidence. Don’t you think that I know what could happen if they testify? I fucking know, and you know that I know!”

“Do you, though?” Amaro snapped.

Casey was about to walk to him before Elliot stopped her, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Don’t pretend like I’m some cold hearted bitch who doesn’t give a shit about those girls! If I could, I wouldn’t be doing this, but I have no other choice. I want those assholes behind bars as much as you want!” Casey groaned as she looked at Elliot, pushing him so he could let go of her. She then looked back at Amaro. “I remind you we are in this together, I’m not on their side. So, if you want me to avoid this, get me some fucking evidence and don’t come for me again thinking you’re entitled to yell at me for something I don’t have control over. Go do your goddamn job instead of telling me how to do mine!”

Both Alex and Elliot stared at each other for a moment, not sure what had just happened. Amaro finally was left speechless and only nodded and walking away followed by Amanda, Fin, and Munch. The whole time that Casey had been yelling speaking, Alex had stared at the redhead with her mouth almost wide open and completely frozen as she listened. Casey was yelling at Amaro but for a moment she thought Casey was yelling at her. She knew the level of anger that Casey could get into, she had seen her in court many times, she had seen her angry, but she had never seen her lash out like this. She didn’t even know if she was scared, surprised, or even aroused by this. When Elliot stared at her, the only thing she could do was shrug, she then returned her stare at Casey who was shaking at this point, and Alex knew it was nothing but anger radiating through her body.

“Casey?” Elliot asked softly, looking between Olivia and Alex. “Are you okay?”

Casey looked at Elliot with furrowed brows. “Don’t you dare treat me like I’m fucking insane. I meant what I said.”

Elliot nodded. “I know.”

Casey slammed her hands on the desk and groaned. “Does he really think I’m that cold hearted? I know I’m not the ray of sunshine that they want me to be, but why does he think that I don’t care? I fucking care.”

Alex didn’t know what to do, she could see that Casey was still in a trance and it seemed like talking to Elliot was not working at all. Alex took a deep breath as she placed her hands on Casey’s shoulders and turned her so she could face Alex. “Casey. I need you to take a deep breath.”

Casey finally looked at Alex. “What?”

“I need you to calm down, baby. Can you take a deep breath?” Alex placed a hand on Casey’s chest feeling her heart beating fast.

“I don’t need to calm down. You heard what he said to me, and I-“

“My love…” Alex grabbed Casey’s hand and placed it on her chest so she could feel Alex’s heartbeat. “I need you to breath. Your heartbeat keeps racing. Can you do that for me?” Casey nodded as she took a deep breath. “Just like that. That’s it. Take another.” Alex took a deep breath along Casey, her eyes staring into green ones as they breathed out. “One more time, baby.” They took a deep breath and then breathed out together. “Do you need to take another?”

Casey shook her head. “No.” She looked down at her hands and furrowed her brows. “Why do you have my hand on your boobs?”

Alex chuckled. “My chest, actually. But close.” She smiled. She let go of her hand and placed both on Casey’s cheeks. “I lost you there for a second, you were in a trance.”

Casey sighed, letting her hand fall to Alex’s waist. “Amaro pissed me off.”

“He did.” Alex chuckled. “I think we’re gonna send the poor guy to therapy if he has both of us going off on him.”

Casey laughed with Alex, sighing softly. “I’m sorry. I…I guess I’m too stressed.”

“Just a bit.” Elliot grinned.

Casey looked back at Elliot and sighed again. “If you didn’t stop me, I think I would’ve slapped him or punch his in the face.”

Elliot nodded as he chuckled. “Yeah, I could tell. I preferred to stop you before you gave him a purple eye.” He rubbed her back and offered a smile. “Get out of here. We got this, okay? We know you’re doing the best you can.”

Olivia offered a smile as she nodded. “Amaro had no right to say those things to you. We know why you’re doing what you’re doing. And trust me, Casey, if there is no other option, we will definitely keep an eye on the girls until this is all over.”

Casey nodded softly. “Thanks guys.”

Elliot smiled. “We got your back.” He looked at Alex and nodded, walking away with Olivia.

Alex smiled softly as Casey returned her eyes to Alex. “I’ve never seen you like that before. Are you gonna turn into Ice Queen 2?”

“I’m probably heading there.” Casey grinned.

Alex smiled. “Then we’ll both be Ice Queens.” She giggled as she pulled Casey for a kiss. “Are you feeling better?”

Casey nodded. “I think so. I do need a break.”

“What do you say we go out for lunch? If they have something important, I’m sure they’ll call you.”

Casey nodded again and smiled. “I’d like that.”

Alex pecked her lips and then smirked. “Maybe if we have time, we can have some dessert. Just to relax a bit more.”

“Oh?” Casey raised her brow as she grinned. “Could we have dessert first?”

Alex chuckled. “I need you to have energy, so let’s go now so we have some time.” She winked at her as she grabbed her hand.

Maybe Casey and Alex weren’t that different after all, and Alex would definitely not admit that she got all hot watching Casey going off like that, cause she knew the teasing would never end.

[colourstreakgryffin]

scratch that lamia Obanai request cause I got a better one. Platonic yandere lamia Obanai with a darling reader who absolutely fucking LOVES snakes.

Fuck yes, let’s goooo! My lovely danger noodle~! Now he is a actual danger noodle! Obi~!

Yandere! Platonic! KNY Hashira Scenarios: Naga! Iguro Obanai

Obanai always scared humans away, when one would cross him. Hissing and whipping his mighty tail as he could never associate with humans, they’re all cowards and hate anything slightly different. His nasty opinion on humans change when he meets you

Somebody who didn’t run away or scream. Somebody who played with his black and white striped serpentine tail, whilst asking how it came to be. He is very confused but he doesn’t bother scaring you off as he just watches you stroke his tail, wonder and amazement crashing on him like a waterfall

Obanai falls in love with you in a instant and he just can’t be away from you, you live in his mind rent free. Obanai is grumpy and irritated when you aren’t before him and when you return to chat with him, his world brightens up again. You’ve taken his heart, please look after it

Obanai is a very scary Yandere, both platonic and romantic. His growing obsession over you is to keep you as his friend, keep you loving him and his snakely attributes so you’ll avoid other humans. They can’t do what he can do! And he doesn’t mind getting a bit violent to get what he wants

Obanai definitely not above taking his rivals’ lives away. In-fact, he will happily kill every other friend you have so you end up alone and desperate for friendship. Obanai tracks down his enemies and chokes them out with his tail, threatening them and roaring that they will die before they even look at you again

And yes. Every human he tracks down, never comes back as he either snaps their neck or tears out their vital organs. He won’t bring back the body, but he hides them from you as to avoid making you scared of him

Obanai stalks you all the time when you aren’t right besides him and chatting away. He needs to know everything he possibly can to use to make you fall deeper in passionate love for him so you won’t stop being his friend and admiring his snake frame. It’s all means to keep you as his and make him you’re only friend

Obanai coils himself around you and holds you in the bundle of his tail when you proclaim you’re tired. It’s not that warm, but it’s tall enough to act as a bed and when you fall asleep, his heart leaps for the skies. You like him a lot, you just must!

Obanai isn’t use to praise at all. He just thought of himself as morbidly hideous for his Naga anatomy and disgusting face scars but you never care about that. You like him and his Naga anatomy a lot, since you always say you love snakes. He plays a lot into being a snake

Obanai‘s acting has gotten a lot better as he has to pretend somebody else is after you, when it’s actually him, who is behind the curtain and pulling the strings to take away everybody who loves you. But he’d rather die then let you know that and try run away from him

Even Platonic! Obanai is as possessive, obsessive and delusional, just like his usual Yandere self. He genuinely believes he is entitled to you since you accepted him and you let him live with you, and he clings onto you anytime he is with you in public. He doesn’t usually go out but when he does, he is pulling you away from people with half-ass excuses

Obanai will eventually kidnap you and take you to his burrow, away from humanity. Sure, he isn’t in love with you in that way, his love is platonic but it’s so powerful that he doesn’t want to find a mate or any of the sorts. He just wants you to stay his friend forever and he curls himself around you, hugging you as you sob in fear

You were completely tricked and it hurt. Obanai seemed like a sweet shy Naga who just needed friends. No, he is a sick obsessed psycho who has forced you into a cave, against your will. He broke your heart but his delusion-fucked mind won’t recognise that, convinced you are relieved that it’s just you two now

“Dokusha. You can barely walk, allow me to help, you’re exhausted. What? No. I can pick you up, I have the strength to. Plus, you weigh like the sweetest gentle leaves— I mean, you weigh nothing!”

[neppednep]

Ravel Phenex w/ Gremory Reader

"Help. I'm addicted to Ravel again." - Me, 6/14/23

Ravel Phenex w/ Gremory S/O, Part 2 (Coming soon)

》 The youngest and the only daughter of the Phenex clan could be a bit spoiled and entitled at times, even if she was usually well behaved. Getting told ‘no’ was something she was far from used to, as her older brothers and parents gave her pretty much anything she wanted. Luckily, she never really asked for anything too crazy, and when she was refused something, she got a bit snappy and that was about it.

》 There was only one time in particular she can remember getting bad, to say the least. Bad as in setting your older brother and various objects on fire, going on a hunger strike (that lasted a whole two hours), and just being an overall nuisance or jerk to anyone who tried to interact with you. What was all that about? It was about a little crush she had. While quite comical now, Ravel still looks back on it and slightly dies of embarrassment.

》 Of course it was all about her childhood friend, Y/N Gremory. Ravel didn't really talk to too many people outside of her immediate family, not counting the servants as she didn't really think too highly of them. Since devil birth rates are astronomically low, there weren't too many devils around her age either. That combined with the situation going on between the Gremory and Phenex clans, it was inevitable the two crossed paths eventually.

》 The two would often hang out, playing together while their parents did the boring political stuff. Being one of Ravel's only friends at the time was cause for some... interesting situations. There was almost never a dull moment when going along with her antics, not that you really had a choice. Whether it was trying to bake (almost burning down the estate) or trying to reclaim things she 'borrowed' it was fairly fun with her, even if she is a bit snooty.

》 Yes, Ravel is one of those girls that 'borrows' a lot of your things. You would think being able to get whatever she wants, she would just get her own, but no. She enjoys taking things that belongs to other people, especially when it belongs to someone she is definitely not in a million years starting to get feelings for. Usually it's nothing too big, just clothes or something small... except that one time she borrowed your pet camel.

》 The two of you got pretty attached fairly quickly if Ravel casually robbing you didn't make that obvious enough. It was more uncommon to see the two of you separated, to the point you practically lived together, consistently staying at each other's houses. Anything from homeschooling to training, you did it together. Ravel was always competitive, even if you were a friend, she didn't want to be left behind. It was a constant competition, the two of you constantly pushing each other to new heights trying to one up the other. Though, it was fairly obvious what was going on to anyone looking in from the outside.

》 It took Ravel much longer to figure out those feelings herself though. She was smart, but her pride often pushed her true feelings aside for the sake of proving how good of a devil she was. She was the youngest daughter of the Phenex clan, surely she could have anyone she wants, but...

Ravel let out a deep sigh, her the tip of her index finger tracing circles on the rim of her teacup. Her bright blue eyes were locked onto the table in front of her as if in deep thought.

"Is something wrong dear? You've been spacing out a lot lately."

Ravel's gaze shifts to her mother whose sitting across from the table from her. She's a bit embarrassed at being called out like that, but she knows it's her mother so it's not too big a deal. She takes a second to gather her thoughts before slowly nodding. "There's a boy that-"

"Y/N, right?" Lady Phenex questions with a small smile. Ravel didn't even need to answer, her blush telling her mother everything she needed to know.

"Yes, it's him. I just..." She takes a deep breath. "I really like him but I don't know if he likes me back. He's all I really have and I don't want to ruin it."

Ravel's blush only deepens as Lady Phenex laughs at her. "Seriously, you act much more mature than some of your brothers, sometimes I forget how old you really are."

"M- mother! This is serious!"

"Yes, I know." Lady Phenex nods. "Listen, you have nothing to worry about. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the two of you already have something going. You're a beautiful young lady and anyone would be lucky to have you. I'm not saying go out and marry him, but you're still a devil. Be greedy, Ravel. Go get him before someone else does."

Ravel only huffs, she crosses her arms but the small smile growing on her face shows anything but annoyance. "Of course, mother. I already knew that. But... thank you."

》 It didn't take long after that little pep talk for Ravel to see you again. When she did the young blonde already had went through this in her head dozens of times, a metaphorical, and probably literal, fire burning inside of her. She had no problems taking things she wanted in the past, and she wasn't going to start hesitating now.

》 However, Ravel didn't ask right away. She didn't want to just walk up and start yapping. She was a lady and had to time this right. It was nearing the end of the day, the artificial moon was already in the sky, a gentle breeze blowing aroung the two of you as you sat on the roof of the Phenex estate after a long day of classes. 'It's now or never.' The young Phenex thinks to herself before turning to you.

"Y/N, I've been wondering something. Are you planning on getting your own peerage?" Ravel questions, her voice steady, even if she felt like her heart was going to explode.

You look at her for a second, a bit confused at her sudden interest but nod. "Yeah, can't imagine I'll get as lucky as Rias did with all her pieces, but I think it would be fun. What about you?"

Ravel shakes her head, her twintails swaying as she does. "No, I don't have any plans to at the moment."

"Oh..." You hum, now a bit confused at why she bought it up in the first place. "Is there any reason you wanted to know."

The Phenex nodded, determination flashing across her face as she continued. "Y/N, we've known each other for a long time now. I really trust you and I hope you trust me just as much." She pauses. "When you do get your evil pieces, I want to be your queen."

Your eyes slightly widen as her request. It wasn't really unheard of for nobles to serve others, but Ravel of all people? She was one of the most prideful people you know. Yet, there wasn't really a reason to not believe her. While you wanted to just agree, you felt like there was something more to this. You were proven correct as she continued.

"Before you answer, I want to fight you." That was definitely not what you expected. You two have fought a lot in your training but you knew this time would be different. Honestly, even Ravel herself didn't know where that came from. She wasn't huge on fighting, but she felt like she had something to prove. She didn't feel like it was for you though, herself maybe?

You knew you already had your answer, but the look in Ravel's eyes told you she wasn't taking no for an answer. You couldn't help but smirk as you stood up, holding your hand out for her to take. "Fine. No holding back anymore. Got it?"

Ravel had a smile of her own as she took your hand and pulled herself to her feet. She didn't say anything. She didn't have to. As you two began walking to your usual training area, she knew no words needed to be exchanged at this point. That's what this fight was for.

Not even gonna lie, this story is some scuffed spark notes version of a full story I wanted to write a year or so back. I think it turned out pretty well though. Part 2 will be more relationship stuff as opposed to build up. I've been in a DxD mood recently so it should come soon enough.

PS: The camel's name is Humphrey. That really isn't important but I was giggling like some schoolgirl when I thought of it. I need sleep.

PPS: MY GIRL IS CAKED UP!!!

That is all.