#but they actually fucking rip dude they are so much fun

[corvidcrybaby]

I was tagged by @the-frankenman-writes to post six albums I love!! Here they are

From left to right and top to bottom...

Stench by Nekrogoblikon || Stranger Fruit by Zeal & Ardor || In the Constellation of the Black Widow by Anaal Nathrakh || Daddy Rock II by Daddy Rock || Reign Supreme by Dying Fetus || ...For Victory by Bolt Thrower

No-pressure tag to: @neet0 @cry-ptidd @brunette-barbie42 @shatteredhero @vohalika @judgejazzy

[orcelito]

Me starting fe engage rolling my eyes at animated sequences, hating the voice acting + the overdramatic sprite animations, being taken out of the battle I was enjoying to watch more animated sequences & being like "just Let Me Fight! The Fuck?????"

In other words my engage game is going swimmingly, it seems

[oimitocat]

STRAY KIDS REACTION….

… to boyfriend!reader being angry and they find it hot (nsfw warning) (hyung line!)

ᡴꪫ CHAN… was extremely similar to you. you’re a lay-backed person, sure sometimes you have episodes where you’re not exactly in the mood to socialize but still, you’re charismatic and let things slide more than he does. you always say it’s because you don’t have energy to entertain that stuff.

yet, seeing you angry — TRULY angry, was something he’d never think he’d get to see. so color him surprised when he hears you shout and pace. the furrow of your brows, your darkened eyes. you looked… good. that tone, he’d never heard it and… it stirred something in the pit of his stomach.

“something wrong?” he asks after a while of eye fucking you.

“company said i need to go on a damn hiatus because some shitheads are spreading a rumor. i could care less, why do they have to make it seem like i’m anxious or whatever?”

chan blinks. “rumor?”

“yeah, super stupid. all i did was call them to say i wasn’t happy with how our last show ended. dude, they literally couldn’t get my headset to work, i had to wing the timing and stuff. their lack of work effort pisses me off.” you groan.

“i know but…” chan pauses when you glare at him. he swallows, “hey, i mean a hiatus is good. you get to rest.”

“i don’t want to rest-“

“i get to have you all to myself without worrying about you missing out on your schedule.”

“if you’re bored, play with me. if you’re angry, take it out on me. you’ll have all the time to do so.” he grins.

you blink, “i- what?” and you can’t even be angry anymore… just frustrated. but chan will also take that.

ᡴꪫ MINHO… had the habit of annoying you and frustrating you sometimes, but never actually making you angry. as idol’s there is a lot of things that can drive you mad. minho for example hates wardrobe malfunctions. fans went crazy over some clips of him angry and upset over a few outfits and so have you.

you never really cared for much, at the end of the day you get a nice paycheck and you’re good to go. still, that doesn’t mean you don’t care about your job. so when he sees that your mic isn’t working and you’re more than upset at the lack of resolve from the sound techs…. he simply cannot look away.

even when you get off the stage, you’re glaring and absolutely not in the mood. everything you do is with anger— ripping off your headset, wiping off your sweat, loosening your outfit. goodness, you look delectable.

“you mad?” he asks teasingly, of course he has to tease.

“i’m not in the mood minho.”

oh! that anger had a pretty tone. “fuck,” he breathes out, pressing himself closer to you, “you gonna take it out on me?” and your eyes bored into him.

he definitely didn’t regret it later.

ᡴꪫ CHANGBIN…. didn’t know you could get angry. he’s only seen you be all soft and gushy. he’s seen you be defensive and stern but never angry. he’s literally making his way to the studio when he hears your voice boom outside the door. worried, he walks in and sees how your standing and yelling at the other producer.

“what’s-?”

“-how long it’s taken us to keep these files and you forget to save them?!”

the producer fidgets, “doesn’t change have a copy? he always has a copy-“

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN THE COPY IS THE SAME AS WHAT WE WERE ADDING TO IT YESTERDAY! you can’t recreate something that was authentic!” you pace, pulling at your hair, “shit man, i worked so hard on that!”

“y/n calm down,” he tries, “what file is it-?”

“changbin, i literally cannot right now.” and you leave.

in the end the file wasn’t deleted, just misplaced in the wrong folder to which it was saved. still, the lack of clarity pissed you off. you didn’t want to work that day and changbin was trying so hard to coax you. yet, seeing you mad was so good for some reason. changbin knew he could make you feel better (totally not feeling you with his hands? and you being angry was making things fun.

ᡴꪫ HYUNJIN…. doesn’t remember a time where you’ve been angry. he’s also never even wanted to. he doesn’t like noise and he remembers how you always say you blow up when angry. hence, when he hears you slam your fist on the desk, he jumps. you’re dramatic like him, so he tried not to think much of it except…

“are you kidding me?” he hear you say with an ominous tone. low and sultry, makes him pause. “so you’re saying that you’re wasting my damn time.”

he peeks over at, seeing you frown and glare at the wall while on the phone. he doesn’t think he’s ever seen that look on you… his mind starts to wander…. would that expression look at him? you’re talking, angry, clearly. and it’s so…

“why are you angry?” he asks when you hang up with an insult and throw your phone of the desk.

“cus apparently i have to do everything myself. why the hell would you-“ and he zones out, watching your angrily rant.

you plop down on the chair, angry. he stands and walks over to you, desire in his gut. “baby don’t be mad…” “well i wouldn’t if they did what i was paying them to do.” “-let’s get your mind off that, yeah?”

and boy did he.

[vixialuvs]

YOU CAN BE THE BOSS !

୨୧ pairing - heeseung x reader

୨୧ cw - soft!dom hee, hee is readers boss/ceo and reader is hees secretary, daddy kink, oral (f & m rec), reader has daddy issues, praise, unprotected sex, aftercare

୨୧ summary - you’ve always gotten special treatment from your boss, what happens when he spots you at the club with another guy and gets jealous?

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

lee heeseung. a name you know all too well. he’s the ceo of the company you work under, and your boss. he’s also filthy rich and attractive. he’s the perfect man, tall, handsome and smart. every female employee fawns over him, but he just shoos them off. the only one he actually cares about is you.

when heeseung saw you on your first day on the job, he had a feeling he needed to protect you. you just seemed so sweet and delicate, like you were made of porcelain. he made it his mission to be close with you. you, being the lovely girl you are, easily became close with him even though he was your boss, to the point he knows about your daddy issues. but you keep it professional, you continuing to call him sir even though he tells you just to call him by his name.

but, he can’t deny the way blood rushes to his dick when you call him sir.

the amount of times he’d have to excuse himself from your conversations to jerk off in his, thankfully, soundproof office is downright embarrassing. you are so clueless, every time you watch him stumble over his words as he mumbles something about a call he has to take with the most innocent eyes makes it worse.

when you bounce into his office carrying papers, your soft breasts jiggling as you greet him with a sweet “hi sir!” he’s barely able to control himself. he’s just thankful his desk covers his hard-on.

however, you aren’t as pure as heeseung thought. after a long day at work, he decided to party in one of his favorite clubs with a few friends, jay, jake, and sunghoon. the last thing he was expecting to see was you swaying your hips with a couple of girls he recognized as your friends from pictures you’ve shown him, two girls named sumin and sieun. but, you weren’t just with them.

his heart practically stopped when he saw a guy all up on you, and you didn’t even seem to mind, you even looked like you were enjoying it. he could already feel the jealousy bubbling deep in his stomach, glaring at the way the guys hands were on your hips and your thighs, wandering too much for his liking.

the night goes on as heeseung sits at the bar with jay, taking shots as jake and sunghoon danced with some random girls they found, unable to take his eyes off you and that guy. your dress was also skimpy and short, barely covering your ass. it pissed him off even more.

“dude, what have you been staring at?” jay finally asks, downing another shot of vodka. he’s always been the chilliest out of all of them, keeping them in line. heeseung lets out a sigh, rubbing his temples.

“that girl over there. she’s my secretary.” he grumbles quietly, taking three shots in a row. jay raises an eyebrow, confused as to way he cares.

“so?” he says, “why do you care?”

heeseung groans loudly, finally ripping his eyes off you to look into jays eyes.

“honest to god, i don’t know man. i just, i feel so protective over her. she’s so perfect and sweet, and i fucking hate seeing that guy all up on her. she’s too lovely for that, she’s too intelligent, i just wanna punch him.”

he’s not even realizing he’s ranting until jay stops him.

“jeez dude, seems like you like her.” he clinks their glasses together, shrugging his shoulders as heeseung sighs, finally coming to a realization and accepting the fact he wants you. the tip of the iceberg is when the guy grabs your ass. he gets up, ignoring jays questioning and storms over to you.

you were having so much fun dancing with the guy, you didn’t even notice heeseung, your boss, coming over. a pair of strong, muscular arms wrap around your waist and pull you away from the man. you turn your head to see who it is, and your eyes go wide when you see its him.

“s-sir?” you stutter out, freezing up in his arms as he tugs you away. even though he’s so pissed at you he’s still so gentle with you. he picks you up bridal style and carries you out of the club, all the way to his black porsche. heeseung sets you in the passenger seat, sighing softly, but you can hear the irritation in his tone.

“what the hell were you doing all up on that guy, y/n? your supposed to be mine!” he blurts out in a angry, yet hurt tone, not realizing his confession. your eyes go wide, red covering your squishy cheeks.

“s-sir, what..?” you stutter out, extremely shy, looking at him with those sweet innocent eyes.

“you heard me angel, your supposed to be mine. don’t want to see you with those other guys little girl..” he whispers, his thumb stroking along your bottom lip.

“i know you have daddy issues baby. i want to protect you. i want to take care of you. let me spoil you rotten sweet girl. please?” he leans over the console, his lips brushing against your forehead.

his words make your face burn up. you can feel the heat pooling between your legs from his words, your thoughts going wild. all you can do is nod dumbly, your eyes fluttering shut as you lean in to kiss his soft lips, your arms wrapping around his neck. he gladly kisses you back, rubbing your neck.

“that’s it baby. such a good girl. gonna take you back to my place okay?” he mumbles, starting up the car, placing a warm hand on your inner thigh.

“yes daddy..” you unconsciously say, before realizing what you said and starting to apologize furiously but he shushes you.

“don’t worry little girl. i like when you call me that. daddy’s got you, okay?” he smiles at you as he drives, taking you back to his penthouse. when you get there he carries you inside and sets you down in the elevator, where he’s barely able to keep his hands off you, kissing at your neck sweetly. when you finally get up to the penthouse, he carries you inside and lays you down on the bed, immediately helping you out of your dress.

he pulls down your panties, a long string of your wetness connecting to them. he swears and tosses them to the side, hooking your legs over his shoulders and pressing a soft kiss to your clit. he takes your sensitive bud into his mouth, causing you to writhe and whine, he grips tightly onto your thighs, practically making out with your pussy. he moans into your cunt, slowly massaging your soft clit with his tongue.

“daddy! mngh! feels so good, you make me feel s’ good..” you whine out loudly, body jolting as you buck your hips into his mouth. he smirks against your pussy and guides you against his face, rubbing your thighs as he spits on your pussy before pressing his tongue flat against your hole. he smiles against your pussy, staring up at you.

“that’s it baby, just use daddy’s face. you’re okay. ride my face sweet thing. just keep your pretty eyes on me.” he coos, speaking directly against your pussy as he blows hot air on it. he brings you closer and closer to orgasm by the second, knowing your about to cum without you even telling him with the way your moans get high pitched. “daddy! i can’t take it! gonna cum! gonna cum!”

you squeal out, before making a complete mess on heeseungs face. he helps you ride out your high before resting his face on your shaven mound, his chin and lips glistening with your juices. he sits up along with you, tugging his shirt off as you unbuckle his belt, pulling down his slacks and palming him through his boxers.

“baby, take them off.”

he mutters, caressing your hair. you, being the good girl you are, pull off his boxers and crawl onto your knees infront of him. you kiss his tip and wrap your lips around him, immediately deepthroating him. he groans loudly, slightly tugging on your hair.

“fuck pretty, your such a naughty girl, didn’t know you were so slutty.. thought you were innocent.”

heeseung ever so gently fucks your face, unable to resist cumming down your throat so quickly, it’s slightly embarrassing, but turns him on so much more when he sees your eyes tearing up as you gag on his cock.

“thank you love.. i really need to fuck your little cunt okay? wanna feel my bulge in your belly.”

he lifts you up, resting your head back on the pillow as he lines his cock up with your entrance. he’s going to fuck you in missionary so he can see your pretty face. he pushes his cock in your pussy, groaning loudly. “your so fucking tight, i love your cute cunt.” your gummy walls are squeezing him just right, causing him to mutter curses under his breath.

he starts to fuck your warm pussy, holding onto your hips, pressing his warm hand on the bulge in your tummy. he’s watching his cock slide in and out of you, moaning.

“look at that, look how deep your daddy is inside you.. shit, i’m gonna cum.”

he’s so pussydrunk he cums in record time, twice this night. he fucks his cum into you, which drives you to orgasm aswell, he leans down and kisses your pretty lips, keeping his cock buried in your warmth for a while until he finally pulls out to run you two a bath, picking you up and setting you in the tub, washing your hair so lovingly.

“you did so good for me, baby. i love you so much. i want you to be my girl, okay? but im gonna make it official and take you out to dinner my love.”

he whispers into your wet hair, kissing the top of your head, after your bath, he carries you back to the bed since your legs are weak. you fall asleep in the comfort of your daddy’s arms, completely content.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

@vixialuvs 2024. reblogs and feedback appreciated !

[aviradasa]

The Lost boys main Hcs (old version)

Dwayne

Also i gave him an actual personality. Cause suprisingly, quiet people can have personality traits other that being a brooding,mature,book loving,parental, and having good dick.

Ok Well i kept these traits but added more to him cause i didn't see anyone else doing so.

Enjoy!!

(Ps this was hardly proof read. and written at 2 am so pardon how weird it may be)

Edit: THESE ARE OLD IM MAKING NEW ONES THAT ARE BETTER!!

Contrary to popular belief this man is just as crazy as the others. If not more.

Granted, yeah, he can be chill as hell but do not let that fool you cause just under that quiet persona is an actual sadistic asshole.

I mean damn.

To start off, this dude is brutal when it comes to feeding. I mean, he can give David a run for his money.

I mean did y'all see him during the bonfire scene??????

During that, he was honestly a bit rushed cause normally, he will keep his victims alive for a good long while before actually killing them, all while ripping them to pieces.

And cause he is smart as hell he knows the right places to tear into a person where it will take them longer to die from it.

What an asshole.

But when he's not being evil as fuck he is giving the others stupid ideas.

I mean honestly i think the whole taking Michael to the bridge thing was his idea.

He just snuck over to David and was like, "Hey, I have a wonderful idea." And David was like "hell yeah I like that"

Well, ok, that's not exactly how I went, but that's my dummed-down Disney villain version.

They had all hung off the bridge before, but Dwayne knew that that would probably freak Michael the fuck out more than anything, and he just wanted to watch that poor dude suffer.

On that topic he lowkey hated Michael at first.

So he just ignored him as much as possible. But at the same time, he also was just waiting for Michael to start some shit so he could fight him.

When Michael punched David, this man got so excited, only to have his dream crushed when he couldn't swing on him.

Poor dwayne.

The main reason we don't see much of dwaynes personality is cause Michael is around every time we see him and he does not fuck with him enough to grant him access to who he is as a person

Speaking of him and David, I, kinda see them as being evil scheming, besties not gonna lie. Like when Dwayne gets a fun little plan in his head to fuck with people, he's creeping up on David to tell him all about it. (And plant the seed in his mind)

Honestly, if you walk in when these two are talking you swear they both just look like this

Like honestly its just a back away slowly and forget you ever saw them situation 🤣

The best part for him is letting people believe it was David or one of the other boy's ideas so he doesn't get too much attention drawn to himself.

As much as this wannabe attention whore wants to, he will hardly take credit is his plans so as not to get Max on his ass. As much as he wants to be like, "Yeah, I made them do that, hahaha," he won't.

He's literally like a little puppet master.

But enough of him being a silent but deadly dickhead

This guy is amazing at so many things.

He's a bigggg car/ motorcycle guy. If you take him anywhere, like a car show or something, he's gonna be yapping with the owner of a fuckin 1942 Chevrolet Fleetline for 2 hours.

And he can and will spend HOURS, NIGHTS, even working on his bike. Does it need work? No. Does he just wanna work on it for fun? Yes.

Oh, and if the others mention even a slight tick coming from their bike, he's becoming the most insufferable know-it-all in the cave.

" oh well you know if the ticks coming from theirrrr you should already know it needs (blank)

They all hate when he does this but they still let him work on the bikes cause they know he enjoys it so much.

It's relaxing to work on stuff like that for him. He can just sit down, listen to his music, smoke a couple of cigarettes, and tune up the bikes all by himself.

And that's the way he likes to work.

He loves the other's company, but deep down, this man is introverted. He can go crazy and have fun but once his social battery is out, he is out, bye.

He will just disappear once he is done with people for the day. If he doesn't, he gets snappy and sassy, and it's just like "Damnnnnnn. Ok, sir ."

He will start clocking everybody's shit if forced to stick around.

But honestly, most of the time, he's cool. He's kinda like a cat, not gonna lie.

Shits gotta be on his terms or he don't wanna do it.

Ok ok I know I clowned on it but I do think he likes to read

And he does read ALOT.

He keeps a lil shelf of books in his area of the cave.

Aka, he took one of the big ass bookshelves from when the hotel collapsed, fixed it, and now stores all the books he loves on it.

He loves most genres, to he's not picky. From fantasy to westerns he readys whatever catches his interest.

While he reads he likes to listen to music that matches so once he was reading a sci-fi novel he had David Bowie BLASTING

They didn't even know he liked David Bowie. But hey, that's why we love Dwayne. He's full of surprises. And his music taste is the epitome of "I like whatever sounds good"

I could go on and on and on about this man but this might get long so if y'all want me to elaborate on any of these or make a part 2 let me know cause i WILL also if you want hcs of the other boys let me know! Night my little goblins 🖤🖤

[doodler16]

long one ahead. discussion of ableism and disability.

i have a very strong feeling viv only added disabled characters for clout/praise. none of the disability "rep" is good or realistic imo. yes, it's hell and heaven etc etc. idc. not to mention she's ableist towards disabilities, mental or physical, she can't or doesn't want to romanticize. look at the bellhopper from ghostfuckers and the goat lady at the reception of the hospital blitz and loona went to. ableism is funny there, but when someone is mean or ableist to fizz, it's wrong?

not to mention every single disabled character gets their disability "fixed" without any issue or actual impairment of their life. it doesnt impact them or shows itself as an actual disability, just as an event that happened to them that got fixed eventually. which is fucking wild. wouldnt be surprised if she "fixed" autism or anything in that regard too in the future.

vaggie - gets her wings back for no damn reason. never mentioned or tackled how she manages with only one eye. how does she coordinate with dancing and fighting? depth perception? it seems like her getting attacked/ her eye torn out by lute was just for shock value. its literally never mentioned again.

lute - gets a perfectly working arm prosthetic. why did her arm get crushed in the first place? only for drama?

fizzarolli- perfectly working prosthetics yet again. at least its shown that he struggles with self worth and confidence with his remaining horns and 'disfigurement'. yknow, seeing that the disability had an actual impact on his life. like those in real life do.

blitz - literally had half of his face burned off, plus most of his arms/hands, and his eye on the affected side is perfectly intact, and his hands are too.

what even is the logic in all of this? (there is none surprise surprise)

i wont even get into how addicts & mentally ill ppl are treated... maybe another time.

sorry for the ramble.

I don’t think Vivziepop and Brandon thought much about the disability aspect besides making into a punchline/dark humor. Because Helluva Boss was supposed to be a comedy while Hazbin Hotel handles all the serious lore and drama. Now in Helluva Boss they want to be serious about their topics, creating a double edge sword.

You are right about Fizzoralli, Anon. The Mammon Special bothered me for 2 reasons: Blitz and the way Fizzarolli is babied in and outside of the show. The fans would shower Fizzarolli with praise for leaving his abusive environment and gaining weight (I’m sorry I barely see a difference regarding his weight, dude is built like a twig) but meanwhile nobody in and outside of the show keeps the same energy with Moxxie. I remember making a video all about that because that episode was so hypocritical and the double standards.

It’s not fine for Fizzoralli to be made fun but Moxxie, the goat nurse, and the bellhop can be? Like cmon. Fizzoralli got like a whole protection squad it’s not even funny.

Vaggie getting her wings was not only awkward animation wise but out nowhere and I have to question is that how all the angels get their wings back by.. dancing and jumping around while another person is singing confidently about love?

Like what is the process/requirements of getting your wings back? Looks it is not a permanent situation. I get what they were trying to do, Vaggie coming full circle similarly like a butterfly except hers was nonexistent/rushed. I’m honestly surprised nobody in the hotel asked about her eye or Vaggie has not been insecure about it.

Like Angel Dust can make fun of her tits and name but never mentions her eye. That would be great character development for both Vaggie and Angel Dust. He pushes her to edge and goes too far, in the process Angel Dust learns more about Vaggie and why she is so guarded and closed off to sinners.

Vaggie’s eye being ripped, It was definitely for shock value and show how ruthless the excorists can be especially Lute. Lute losing her arm kind of adds to drama but it’s mainly Adam dying that takes the cake. Lute is the type to use anything that happened negatively towards her as an example of why sinners are dangerous.

I’m surprised Blitz can see properly, I thought he would be blind, wear an eye patch like Vaggie, or his vision would be 10x worse than before. Blitz getting that main character plot armor. 😂 Overall, the person who truly acknowledges their disability is Fizzarolli (even if it’s brief). I would love to hear your thoughts how addicts and mentally ill characters are treated in the show, no need to apologize for rambling. I find these conversations interesting.

[miriamladyvoid]

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My ask: I know the applications are closed but when they are open I would like a second part with: Silver, Sebek, Trey and Deuce. This section is too good to end like this, I hadn't laughed so hard all week (by the way good luck with your homework).

➸𝘍𝘜𝘙𝘉𝘈𝘓𝘓 𝘔𝘐𝘚𝘊𝘏𝘐𝘌𝘍 pt. 2

concept: [character] with s/o that has a very protective little brother!grim

characters: silver || sebek zigvolt || trey clover || deuce spade

disclaimers: reader is gender neutral || reader is yuu || fluff

𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫

grim knows not to mess with lilia’s son, but he does it anyways cus yk, that’s what blue furballs do.

dudes just trying to sleep until grim harshly wakes him up. “did you know that you shouldn’t date prefect cus they’re ugly and they they don’t love you. wake up and break up” poor silver.

you once tried to cut his hair cus it was getting too long, just when you were about to cut his bangs grim just oh so coincidentally as under the table and accidentally burnt your shoe. what happened to silvers bangs that day? the kokoro + xingqiu effect.

he grew up with lilia’s cooking, so of course you love to cook for the boy, but with grim around? he literally puked in the stew you were cooking for silver.

grim makes letters to piss him off and signs them off with your name, silver doesn’t really read them and they get sent to lilia so rip to you both.

𝐬𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐤 𝐳𝐢𝐠𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐭

“you probably love malleus more than you love prefect” “HOW DARE YOU SAY TO THAT, I LOVE THE PREFECT A LOT.” say goodbye to your rights to hear cus this mans a humanized megaphone.

grim loves taunting him with malleus, he’s the exact reason of the trust issues in your relationship. grim loves torturing this man.

his favorite activity is hanging out in the botanical garden so there’s no doubt he loves to take you there to talk about your day. it all goes so well until grim appears behind one of the flowers and technically sets his hair on fire.

he likes to carry you around, he loves it actually. just carrying you and running around diasomnia is so fun. however, it is not fun when grim makes him trip which results to the both of you falling.

he helps you with your math homework, which you are very grateful for. but grim did not let that slide, burning the papers alongside the table you two were sitting at.

𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐲 ���𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

grim tries a lot of things to get you two to break up. but this man literally has fucking plot armor cus HOW???

grim once broke a bag full of flour to pour on you two, it was a success, but not how it was supposed to be.

you two were under the flour laughing your asses off, a single moment of silence and suddenly you two were KISSING? he wanted to puke out a whole furball at that spot.

there has also been times where grim tried to dump paint over you and blame it on trey, but ace and deuce always has trey’s back because, well, he’s the only piece of hope in the whole heartslaybul dorm.

angry trey is terrifying. grim once tried to sabotage your soup -which you were very proud of - and got stuffed in the oven for like 3 hours cus of this man.

𝐝𝐞𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐝𝐞

he loves it when you paint the little spade mark on his face, it always seems to go wrong after grim ‘accidentally’ replaced the bottle with hot sauce.

he wants to be the honor student and your honor boyfriend, he has to be physically restrained to stop himself from choking the furballs outta grim.

he gets so red and shakes so much when you just tell him a simple “you’re eyes are so beautiful” after you leave grim just appears outta nowhere and cosplays mira kano for a bit “you know they didn’t mean that right”.

dude will come to your dorm in the middle of the night and go “hey i lost my bed, can i sleep in yours?” really tired grim just responds with “this is why prefect doesn’t love you”.

he got you cute matching necklaces with him for valentines day but did those ever last? hell no grim literally snatched and then swallowed them when he was just about to put it around your neck. good soup ong.

The original publication and writing belongs to @miliinmi (Post recovered) 31/12/22

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Banners created by miriamladyvoid© Feel free to use; please, reblog, and credit banners.

Language of the flowers of each Banner:

First Banner: Camellia Japonica: Platonic Love. Second Banner: Peach Blossom: Generosity. Third Banner: Gillyflower: Bonds of Affection.

[bleedingoptimism]

𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚

part 2

Steve is looking around the room when he sees Jay waving at him, so he smiles and waves back. He likes Jay. He’s nice and super fun to beat at cards.

And then he notices there’s someone sitting beside Jay and his hand falters before he puts it down.

The guy looks… tough, all lean and strong and sexy in his leather jacket and ripped jeans. Tattoos, rings, and pierced ears with long curly hair. But his eyes, his big eyes are beautiful and dark and his lips are round and look really soft. He’s all sharp but round around the edges. A walking contradiction. And Steve’s never seen anyone like him before. 

Without taking his eyes off him, he moves over to where Chrissy is sitting with Robin and sits with them, takes Chrissy’s hand, and holds it lovingly like he always does. 

“Hey, babe,” He whispers to her, “Who’s that guy sitting with Jay?”

“That’s Strider,” Robin says leaning over Chrissy to talk to him, “He’s an old friend of Jay’s, new in town. Why? You like him?”

“Strider…That’s a character from the book Dustin likes, right?” He wonders, “The Hobbit?”

“The Lord of the Rings” Chrissy corrects him.

“Right… nerd” He quips.

“So? Do you? Like him.” Chrissy asks squeezing his hand in retaliation.

“He’s gorgeous,” Steve confirms and Chrissy smiles excitedly. It’s not every day Steve notices someone in the bar. It has never happened before actually.

“You really think so?” Robin murmurs to him, “He looks like he’d like telling you what to do,” 

Steve hums appreciatively, “Yes, but like, in a nice way, right? Like he’ll say please and thank you,” he says dreamily.

Robin snorts, “Is that what you are into, you nasty boy?” Steve gasps so hard he almost chokes on his own spit and Robin starts cackling, while Chrissy giggles cutely.

“Fuck off,” He snaps, “And you, don’t laugh you dummy! You are supposed to be the stoic leader here!” 

Chrissy sobers up immediately, “Right, right” and then the three of them, look at each other amused trying to hold their laughs in. 

Fuck, if anyone heard how silly they were their reputation would be completely ruined.

The phrase ‘fake it til you make it’ never made more sense than it does for them right now. 

When the three of them, fresh out of high school moved into the city when Chrissy started showing symptoms… they had absolutely nothing to their name, and now, they owned a fucking bar. They had a roof over their head, food on their tables, and more importantly, they were offering shelter to a lot of people that used to be where they were a couple of years ago.

The lack of information around them made them look mysterious. And Robin had a way with business and marketing. So a couple of well-placed rumors did all the work for them. Just a few lessons on how to make a real bitchy face from Steve and suddenly Chrissy was the scariest girl in the night. 

It had been a rough start, and more than once Steve thought they wouldn't make it till the end of the month. But they’d gotten lucky when they found this place and they had been smart about it and now they had responsibilities and a establishment to uphold but that didn’t mean they couldn't have any fun.

“Go talk to him!” Chrissy tells him elbowing him subtly.

Steve shakes his head, “No, no way,”

“Dude, he’s been looking at you since the minute he came in!” Robin insists.

But that doesn't mean as much as she thinks it does. That doesn’t make it safe for him. Still, he kind of wants to talk to him, to hear his voice, to know what he’s like and what he likes and what not. And just when Steve is actually considering it Mayra, one of their hostess, walks up to Strider. 

Robin frowns, “Oh, fuck off Mayra” she mutters and Steve has to stifle a loud snort.

“Oh well, lost my chance I guess,” He says unbothered but actually feels really upset about it. He’s never felt jealous of any of the girl's conquests before. It’s strange, but there’s something about that guy.

He wanted him for himself. He needs him.

“Bet you a burger that if you go there right now, he’ll choose you over her” Chrissy says studying his expression like she can see right through him. 

“I’m not gonna cock block Mayra for a burger” He smiles at her shaking his head.

“Oh! No need! He rejected her!” Robin tells them excitedly.

And then they both stare at him,

“What are you waiting for?!”

“Well then, go on!” 

They talk at the same time.

“I- Ok! Fine. But if he rejects me you are buying me that burger,” He says standing up.

“If he rejects you I’ll buy you burgers for the whole week!” Chrissy whispers-yells at him as he’s making his way there.

He sees Jay walking up and leaving Strider alone at the little table and makes a note to thank him later as he sits beside Strider and puts his elbows on the table, using his hands to rest his chin over and looking at him.

“Hi” 

Strider blinks at him a couple of times and visibly swallows, “Hi,” 

Steve just leans his head to one side and smiles at him, and Strider just looks at him for a long second before smiling back crookedly, a dimple appearing on his left cheek that makes Steve want to bite him.

“I’m Ee-Strider,”

Steve’s smile becomes something a little more genuine and less flirty, he seems so nice, his strider, “Hi, Strider”

“And you are Sunshine, right?” Strider asks leaning a little closer over the table.

Steve bites his lip before answering. He was never particularly fond of that nickname, it’s too much to live up to. But he really likes the way it sounds coming from Strider.

“That’s what they call me, yes” he answers smirking confidently.

‘Fake it Till you Make It’

“So, Strider, What brings you here tonight?” 

Once more Strider just looks at him intently, looks at his lips, and then shakes his head, looking around feigning casualness, “Oh, you know, just checking out the scene”

He muffles a giggle over his own shoulder and then leans his head to look at Strider sideways, exposing the line of his neck, “And how are you finding it?” he asks softly.

“Oh, it’s really neck so f- nice really nice… So far” Strider stumbles over his words and then cringes to himself and blushes faintly.

And Steve gets suddenly really fucking impatient. He needs this cute dork upstairs, naked and under him right now.

“Has anyone explained to you how things work around here?” He asks him, trying to move the conversation along. 

Strider nods, “Je-Jay explained to me the gist of it, yeah” 

“Oh, yeah?” Steve nods too and puts his chin on his hands again, fawning his eyelashes at him and waiting for him to elaborate.

“Well, you choose right?” Strider continues and gestures vaguely around the room referring to the hostesses, “And then you take us upstairs…”

“Mmhm” Steve hums encouraging him to keep talking, “And then?”

“And then I get to taste you,” Strider breathes and fuck.

Taste him? Taste him. Yes. He wants that. He wants that so much.

“Taste me?” He asks because the concept still sounds too good to be true.

“Right?” Strider asks like he’s not sure the said the right thing.

‘Oh, he has no idea how right he was’

Steve leans over the table and stops just an inch away from Strider’s face, almost going eye crossed to look at him, “Would you like that, Strider?” he asks and then moves closer and to the side to whisper in his ear, 

“Do you want to taste me?”

“God. Fuck, yes. Please?” Strider says in a rushed whisper and Steve tries his best not to shiver.

He stands up and offers up a hand to him, “Follow me.” 

part 1: 🍷

part 2: you are here

part 3: 🩸

bonus content: ☀️

ao3: 🌙

art: 🦇

coffee?☕🥐💕

[st-el-la-luna]

Thinking about being a civilian in Las Almas when shit goes down

You'd been invited to stay with a friend and, being in desperate need of a vacation, you'd agreed. It was fun, staying with them, meeting their family, learning about their hometown and childhood.

The fun ended pretty quick when these cunts dressed in black started killing everyone.

You and your friend had been out enjoying the night, eating, drinking, dancing. You were on your way back to their house when you heard it.

A gunshot.

Your friend tells you this isn't entirely abnormal. Tells you to ignore it and keep walking.

So you do.

But the gunshots are becoming more frequent. Louder too. They're getting closer.

A woman you vaguely recognize, one of your friends neighbours, rushes out of an alleyway, terrified and bloodied.

You can only understand so much about what's said before her head suddenly... Not there. Bits of skull and brain and blood spattered all over you as you watch her body drop.

You turn to your friend. "This is normal? Dude...."

You're friend tells you to shut the fuck up and that you need to run. As the sound of heavy footsteps and voices (American accents you register) get closer, accompanied by the sound of a gun being reloaded, you agree.

The two of you make a run for your friends house, passing all sorts of horrible sights. You're a block away when a gunshot rips through the night and your friend suddenly just... Stops.

You look back in disbelief. Their eyes wide with shock, lips parted, slack jawed... The new hole in the middle of their forehead. They try to say something to you, but all that escapes them is a choked groan. They throw you their keys, then collapse.

They're not dead yet. You can tell by their sounds and the rise and fall of their chest. A part of you wants to help them, grab them and drag them off to safety.

The other part of you recognizes the man dressed in all black (he looks suspiciously military but that doesn't make sense, killing civilians is a war crime... isn't it?), who's walking closer as he reloads his gun.

So you run.

Run and run until your legs are burning. Taking back roads and side streets, jumping fences, the adrenaline making it easy to ignore the way the barbed wire tears at your skin.

When you make it to your friends street, you find the door to their house is already open. Kicked down.

You find the dead inside.

A part of you wants to stop here, curl up and break down. The other knows that these people, these men in black, could come back at any moment. And so you do what you can to prepare yourself.

You empty your backpack of your belongings, filling it instead with anything you find around the house that might be useful.

A first aid kit buckled to the side. Rubbing alcohol and tequilla and whatever else flammable you can find poured into glass bottles, the lips stuffed with socks. Kitchen knives. Fire crackers and fire works. A couple flares. You manage to break open the safe and get a gun. An eight round revolver that you have no clue how to shoot but figure, hey, its better than nothing. At the very least, you could use it for intimidation.

You're heading to the garage where you're pretty sure you remember seeing a bow and full quiver of arrows (you were obsessed with the hunger games when you were younger, actually got pretty good with the weapon) when you freeze.

The man in black also freezes.

He's bloody and out of breath. Face smeared with dirt and oil. His mohawk disheveled. His blue eyes land on you laser focused. He's got a gun. A big one.

And he's looting the corpses. Your friends roommates, their bodies still warm as blood pools beneath them, some of their eyes still open, casting judgmental stares, lay there limp. And this fucker is acting like this is a D&D campaign.

You've got the revolver trained on him with shaking hands.

He points his gun (some sort of automatic things) at you. His hands are steady, practiced. His eyes sharp.

He opens his mouth to speak and takes a half step towards you.

You pull the trigger.

Nothing happens.

"Aye," the man speaks in a thick Scottish brogue. He sounds like he's laughing. How dare he laugh? If you could figure out how the stupid gun works you'd shoot him. "You've got to cock a gun like that 'fore you shoot it."

You freeze, your arm drawn back ready to throw the revolver at the man. His accent gives you pause. The other men in black, they were Americans. And this guy... His clothes are a bit different too. Though he's clearly also army.

You lower your arm hesitantly. "You're... You're not one of them."

"The Shadows?" he asks. "Tch, no. You'd best thank your lucky stars for that, they'd have killed you in a second flat."

"What the hell is going on here?" You demand, slipping the gun back into the makeshift holster you had made out of a couple belts. You step around the man to the garage and he follows.

"You're not from here, are ya love?" he asks as he watches you scan the shelves.

"I'm here on vacation," you say bitterly as you stand on your toes, struggling to reach the quiver of arrows. He pulls it down and hands it to you. The arrows are dusty and old, though still sharp. He hands the bow to you as well, albeit unstrung, and you let out a quiet hum in thanks. He watches as you string the bow, a brow raised. He looks like he's going to say something, but you cut him off. "You didn't answer my question... What's happening? Who are those people?"

He hesitates a moment, you notice his ear piece. Someone else is speaking to him. "Aye, i know, I know, but I cannae very well leave her here now can I?"

At the mention of being left, you panic. There's a pair of handcuffs on his belt. You grab them and before he has a chance to react, you've cuffed your hands together.

And swallowed the key.

Yeah... Not your brightest moment.

The man looks at you dumbfounded. Then speaks to the man in his ear. "Uh... Lt? Got a bit of a problem..."

Please reblog to support my writing!

Masterlist

[beloved-femboyish-girl]

men moaning/whimpering playlist rating

Going Rough on your Sub Boyfriend [Boyfriend ASMR] [Whimpering] ("CozyCub ASMR" deleted) -- F. False advertising. No more fucking or being rough.

Petting Your Sub Cat boy [Whimpering] [Bottom Neko] -- B. Not a fan of bitches saying "master" but bros a lil bratty kitt

Dominating your sub boyfriend on his birthday (kisses)[ASMR RP]M4F (official audio) -- D. no domination involved really.

Risky Gorou ASMR| Making Him Whimper From Teasing- NSFW? Gorou x Listener ( Genshin Impact) (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] Risky fun with Gorou behind a building [Bottom] [Blowjob] [Whimpering] [Petting] [NSFW] [Gorou x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 35:56) -- B. aww cute lil puppy boy aww bros EMBARASSED about his puppy taillll

Mommy's good boy -- F. lame whimpers. dont like how he says mommy

Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ⌈NSFW⌋ (official title: [Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ~ [Boyfriend ASMR] [Soft Voice] [Pleading]) -- C-. didnt know if this was gay at first. its fine

Needy Subby Boyfriend Wants Your Attention (ASMR) [M4F] [mommy] [mdlb] [spicy?] [kisses] [needy] -- F. dont like how he says mommy. ""mdlb"" bro talks about going to work out. is lil bro getting ripped. is lil bro getting gains? no. shut up about the gym. talking soft bc roommates are audible too

Ignoring ur subby boyfriend until he breaks (excerpt of Ignoring your subby boyfriend until he breaks (M4A)) -- A. exactly as advertised. fun acting. hes trying soo hard. hes been so good. fuck

100 Tier: "Stuffing The Bird.." A Pleasure Dom Fem!ListenerX Confident To Subby Hawks NSFW HARDCORE (M and NB variants)-- THEYRE BIRDS?? YOURE ACTUALLY BIRDS? kinda awesome B hes being too smug and overacting too fast. Dude are those kissing sounds or am i feeding him a WORM. His guttural breathing is freaking me out dude. mic glitches. ok my bad we're not feeding him worms we're feeding him PUSSYYY!!! + yuup we're tasing your balls bro. id bump up a letter for pain noises but its just too much besides that.

18+ Thoma x Listener| Sub Thoma Moans| Private Meeting At Komore|ASMR Roleplay| Genshin Impact (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] F*cking Thoma at the Teahouse [Bottom Thoma] [Making Him Hold the Moan] [Subby Noises] [Thoma x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 29:06) -- C+. bros still acting well its just no puppyboy and pretty tame.

alright thanks see you tomorrow for tge next ten

PART TWO:

gr#nding against your sleepy boyfriend~ (unknown source) -- D-. doesnt understand anything sexy about the conceit. or maybe at all !

"Couldn't Sleep?" A "Cure" For Restlessness Gojo X M!Listener NSFW (F and NB variants)-- 😥 the bird one was bnha so like is this one is too whos gojo. but same as with the doggy gen-- he just said いただきます. and now a footjob is happening?? bros gagging on whoever "Listener"'s cock is tho. WONT STOP SAYING "THANK YOU FOR THE ME- HE JUST SAID IT AGAIN??? C+ for the continuously impressive voice acting but. well theres wet plapping now. but . the character acting

M4M Annoying sleep boyfriend for cuddles (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Annoying your sleepy boyfriend for cuddles! [ASMR] [BL]) -- bold decision to take on the persona of "annoying". aww no ones gonna hurt you youre with your boYfriEnd. hes not whimpering. D for this list purposes but its fine

M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy to sleep (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy :) [ASMR] [SFW] [LittleSpace]) -- D for no whimpering or moaning. "aww. you havent regressed in a while? do you want to?" "oh i got you some Little stuff. you know for when you're in Little space. wait typing that out made me realize the little in the title was referring to that. anyway its fine this is what i imagine asmrs target audience is anyway

(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: CEO Dominates you (CEO X Listener) [Slight NSFW] (official title: [BAD BOY ASMR] Mafia Boss x Listener. After Shower With Your Yandere Boyfriend!?[Spicy]) -- "[...] cum founder" still slow at 2.5x speed but only 16 minutes long. C-. character work is schlocky stock romance but soo reserved. but i guess theres moaning.

(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: Sadistic Vampire Talks with you (Noble Vampire X Vampire Hunter Listener) [NSFW?] P.2 (official title: [DOM VAMPIRE ASMR] Vampire x Listener. Sadistic Kisses, Delicate Bites!?[Spicy]) -- C shallow world relying on slow brooding but can i just say the description on this one is wild. "- hold on bro is chowing down so ill bump it a lil. anyway "I hope I have the right audio. I haven't listened to the entire thing." bro?? am i the only one here wh

(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Forces Cuddles on the Bus (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.2 (original deleted?)-- B this dude is so fucking funny. "whatya listening to. probably some gay shit. *sharp nostril exhale* now be a good little nerd and give me your homework. your lunchmoney too. I WONDER HOW YOU ARE IN BED? YOURE PROBABLY FUCKING GREAT" YESSS. wet gooping sounds happening now with little discernable - oh we're cocksucking this guy ok alright. you put your gay earbuds in and start listening to music at the last 30 seconds. Wow.

Cum in 10 minutes -- F this is binaural beats shit and did NOT cum

Whispering Slurs Asmr -- F. heres an excerpt from the artist's bio: "As a performer, I do not actually agree with anything this anti-social character spews out of his mouth. I will need to be careful what I say because I could be feeding into people’s deeply ingrained prejudices and bigotry. I pray that I do not unintentionally enable a bunch of bad people who resent a changing world."

Taking Care of Your Drunk Boyfriend (unknown source)-- C+. bros whimpering and moaning when he Should be throwing up !!!

PART 3:

alrigt im starting this at 4 am hope i can get fhru this quick NOTE: i didnt

[HOT BULLY ASMR]Bully x Listener. Trapped Together And 7 Minutes In Heaven! [Delinquent,NSFW(?)] -- D. sharp smug mouth inhales after like every sentence. its your first time 🥺 going to someone else's place 😑. its really funny to do a "7 minutes in heaven" scenario with only two people alone in an apartment. "HOT BULLY"? not really bullying at all but apparently im "already biting my lip" so i guess im wrong.

Making Your Boyfriend BEG for it…[SPICY] Boyfriend ASMR [M4M] (official audio)-- B-. sleazy creep type narrator. saying im blueballing him by not fucking right now? holy shit, trying to talk me into not using protection because he doesnt want to get up and go buy more condoms?? toxic as fuck bro...

"Fuck Me Now." A Villain/Mastermind Kenma X Male NSFW (F and NB variants) -- B. there was an alternative female AND "NB" version and the script is mostly the same. "suck my dick while you ride my thigh" good idea! but um i dont think. that works.

(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Dominates you with Kisses (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.1 (original deleted?) -- B+ on technicality for no whimpering. bros actually getting vicious with this one. the part 2 was mostly goofy but. like. wow.

ASMR Audio Roleplay - You Challenge Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy] Pt 1 (official title: You're A Good Boy To Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy]) -- fuck the criteria. B-. the writing here is impressive. like dudes got natural conversation and character work down so well. and hes funny?? ok hes like a reddit edgelord shithead but hes got jokes. no moaning or whining though!

[M4M] [NSFW] Flirty Dragon Desires You [Part 2] -- can you please fucking speak up dragon i cant hear you over all the bugs. B its corny as fuck but bros moaning and maybe a hint of whimpering.

Subby boyfriend whimpers & begs for "attention" (Spicy boyfriend ASMR | Deep voice | M4A) -- he's whiompering and moaning and also fucking ANNOYING!!!!!!! C this guy Pisses me off. "im gonna cry if i dont get [your attention and pussy]" then CRY!!!!!!!!! "that makes me so squirmy" its all ok now tho bc hes in pain

[REUPLOAD] Daddy Detective NSFW M4M (OP deleted) -- ACAB. F. sadly i was hoping it was freelance.

ASMR [M4M] Your Bored Barista Tries To Kill Some Time With You -- F. bored? check. bro sings "im like a bird" in the quietest voice possible. lmao. no moaning or whining! but its fine

ASMR Audio Roleplay - [M4M] Locker Room Secrets ft. Liquid_Madnezz & cee_ [Kisses] [Spicy] [College] (excerpt?) -- A. POV: YOU'RE the bully?? obnoxious ass opening. also. whatever happened to the navy seals co[pypasta. POV: you crush mad pussy? this i think is the same guy as the dom friend one and dude kinda has writing chops because he paints such a pained but conflicted pairing. i empathize a lil with bro in this. theres whining in this but like, not the sex kind. and there IS moaning. lowkey toxic protagonist!

see u 2morrow for the next ten!

[flyingfortress1]

Finished episode two of Band of Brothers rewatch. - it's very long I'm sorry.

Damn, I love watching this now because I can actually focus on the show and not trying to keep track of everyone lol. Anyway. Thoughts

-firstly the jumping scene with the C-47s is intense! Bringing in my B-17 knowledge- flak is so terrifying and these poor paratroopers are getting a first hand idea of it, and not being able to do anything- just pray, hope, and then jump straight into that- like geez. That's what fucked up the bomber crews so bad mentally- like honestly, I don't blame the pilot for pressing the button early after his co-pilot just dies. And the scene where Meehan's plane blows up and you realize these guys were just ready to leave....

-other notes: fun time spotting all the notable characters. Toye crossing himself, Guarnere with rosary?? I think its him? Malarky trying to smoke, I think, but failing- you really just feel the chaos and tension, especially when everyone's being jolted around w/flak. Also Dick being right by the open door of a plane thousands of feet in the air gives me anxiety- like yes, he's supposed to be there, he's jumping out, there's flak, but damn, that is not safe.

-Also RIP Hall. Poor guy. I do find it funny that he's like, what the hell is Guarnere's problem- gets 1) gonoherrea but apparently it's only his nickname, and 2) Toye, Malarky etc just being, well yes he's being an asshole, but you gotta see, you gotta give it back, oh he just lost his brother you see- he's not really an asshole. And then Hall does give it back, and Guarnere is like, I respect you now.

-Also nice detail here- when they're at Brecourt Manor, and Joe punches that surrendered German soldier, you see that he has brass knuckles on- which means sometime between ranting about his gear and jumping off the plane, he got knuckles. There's a story there, I feel.

-Guarnere and Dick- interesting scene with the horse. Guarnere really comes off as a 'natural killer'. This is a mad man, and one who really, really wants to get revenge. It's a very intense scene, and yeah, I certainly understand why Dick was pissed- like yes, revenge, but also, thank you for potentially alerting us to every german soldier in the vicinity of which there are many. Also love the height comparison- Guarnere looks so much smaller than Dick (guess that's the actors, wonder if the real guys were similar heights) but it does make the scene funny in a way where Dick is chewing out him out.

-Dick scene with men in the truck bed- again, Dick is such a reserved, disciplined, controlled guy- and he's a petty ass, and Damian Lewis serves it with his chat to Guarnere in that truck. It's very subtle, but when Guarnere asks if Dick is their co now, Dick is like, yes, I am, look at that- and oh yes, I overheard you talking about me, just going to throw that in there. It does feel a little smug because Guarnere has to respect him now, and Dick isn't very obvious about it, but he is a little smug. Again, Lewis's performance is very good and very subtle which seems to fit what I have learned about the real Winters's personality.

-also Malarkey you fucking idiot- love that he admitted that this was the dumbest thing he ever did, and then tried to downplay with, oh everyone wants a luger- apparently the actor wasn't acting because the explosives were going off too early and dude was really freaked out lol.

-Also love the comparison between Buck (his eyes are so blue, like lazer beams I swear) hanging out with the men, and Dick, popping in real quick and then just going alone- it really shows their different leadership styles as officers- and shout out to Nix for checking on his bro! The way he throws away the can feels so personal tho haha. Also I really like how Dick has A Moment where you can just see him processing everything by himself- they were victorious, but the tone of the end of the episode doesn't really feel that way which is a really interesting choice and I'm kinda down with it.

-Nixon coming in with the tanks- I need a story here. There's one and I need to know.

-Spiers killing the prisoners is just a shocking moment to all the Easy guys- come over to the Pacific however and the Army/Marines have just stopped giving a fuck meanwhile. Like wounded IJA guys have grenades, I ain't risking that shit. Digging teeth out of not-quite dead guys? Yeah sure. I just find that funny for some reason- the weight placed on this, is mainly legit just European Theater stuff to my knowledge. Dunno why- just funny- also spiers was way more in this episode then I remembered.

-Malarkey talking to the Oregon Nazi- love how dude is like, I was answering the call of the fatherland or something ominous like that, and Malarkey legit is just like, Okay weird- MOVING ON WHAT FACTORY DID YOU WORK AT- SMALL WORLD WILD-

-Lastly- MVP TO THE TWO DUDES FROM THE 82ND! They come across these guys from the 81st, in very tense situation, behind enemy lines, unsure of where they are- and the officer just unzips his pants in the little battle huddle like wtf- I wish I could make gifs because these dude's expressions are hilarious. One dude is like wtf, and the other guy vacillates from shocked to what I can only call the equivalent of "I mean..." dude. why you smiling like that. why does the camera focus on Dick's fly. Why. you didn't need to do that. and why does he keep his flashlight there? I know there's a reason, I just want to know (is this why Smokey Gorden makes the compass dick joke) @bleedingcoffee42. And no one from Easy seems to care which is even funnier. Then these guys have to watch Guarnere being a bit unhinged- having drama with Dick- would love to know their thoughts on this, I need a fanfic featuring 82nd Rosencratz and Guildenstern. Also why is the sunrise after this event so cinematic- it feels a bit WW1 ish and also deserves a painting honestly.

Anyway. That's it I think. It's a very long rant, thank you for sticking to it if you made it this far. There's a lot in this episode. Would LOVE to hear other's thoughts on this episode! Any things i missed. And for those who can make gifs- PLEASE check out the 82nd guys and Dick's fly scene. It's too good. One of them gets named, but I don't remember who he was sadly.

[petew21-blog]

The curse of Hecatoncheires

Zayn shouted at us: "All is set guys. Let's get to the table"

Me:"Can't we just play Dungeons and Dragons just as we always do? This seems complicated. It will take us much more time to learn that then playing"

Zayn:"No, we're gonna play this. It's basically a modified version of what we always play. But much more fun."

Alex:"Ok, let's play before the weekend ends. I really wanna do something fun instead of just sitting here."

Zayn:"Oh, you're gonna have enough of fun today.

Ground rules:

We play the story just as we always do

The dice is a way of deciding conflict. But in this game you're not playing against the game. You're playing against each other.

The conflict can be won by throwing a higher number then the other. If you throw a higher number you win what the other person bet in that round"

Me:"Bet? We're gonna bet? With what? We don't have anything."

Zayn:"Actually you do. You have your bodies, your body parts. You can bet them. And the winner has 3 options a) keep your part he won over you, b) swap his part he bet with you or c) donate a part to someone else"

Jordan:"Zayn, this has to be one of the worst game ideas you ever had. Not only it's complicated, but we're just gonna pretend that our parts are not ours but belong to someone else?"

We all started laughing except for Zayn. He was serious. He then threw a cube on the table. It was the same as ourselves we usually played with. But this one glowed.

Zayn:"I see the explaining of rules will be better to do during the game. Right?"

We started the game. Each of us had to bet a part of our bodies.

I bet my feet, Zayn his thumb, Alex wanted to bet his head but Zayn advsied him not to, so he bet his arm. And Jordan wanted to boycot the game as always so he bet his dick.

We play for some time like always. But then me and Jordan stepped on the first fighting platform. Zayn:"Ok, Jordan. It's your time to choose your oponent"

Jordan:"I choose you (he pointed at me). I want your smell feet haha" He then threw the dice with number 15. Fuck I have to throw higher than that. The chances aren't that big tho. I threw the dice and saw the number 7.

Jordan:"Haha. I win your feet!"

Zayn:"Ok now you get to choose a/b/c. A is keeping it, b is swapping it and c is giving it to someone else."

Jordan:"Fine. We'll I'm going with option a. I want to have extra feet."

Suddenly the cube shined brightly. Me and Jordan screamed in pain. I looked down and saw my shoes fall off. Jordan was screaming horribly. He threw always his shoes. His socks ripped and at the same place where his feet grew, another pair grew out. Oddly familiar pair. Jordan looked down in shock.

Jordan:"What the fuck!!! Zayn what the hell is this?! What did you do?"

Zayn:"I already told you the rules. So this is the first option. I wanted to make our game a bit more special, cause I noticed how you guys grew more bored each game we played. So this should be more fun"

Alex:"This shit is incredible" he touched my feet on Jordan's body. I could still feel them a bit but I couldn't move them. Jordan was speechles and touched them too.

Jordan:"Holy shit dude. I have two pairs of feet. I have your feet man! Wow. They're really big. And really smelly. Have you washed them recently?"

Me:"Hey! Of course I did. I just... sweat a lot. It's a condition. I can't help it."

Zayn:"Ok, you have to pick another betting part and then we can continue"

I picked my dick just as Jordan has.

We proceeded and then Alex got in a duel with Zayn. Alex won.

Alex:"Ok, so... I don't want to be a freak like Jordan. I want to swap our two parts"

They also screamed. Alex's arm disappeared and now instead of it only Zayn's thumb was visible. Zayn's arm now instead of his thumb grew out another arm. It was massively long

Alex:"Zayn, but you said we would swap the parts. I just wanted your thumb instead of mine not this shit. I look like a freak. And so do you..."

Zayn:"Well those were the rules. If you want to swap the identical part and not the one that was threw in as a bet, you have to say so. Ok my new part to bet is my index finger"

Alex:"Bet something meaningful atleast. You now have my arm to bet"

Zayn:"Ok, you're right. I bet my feet."

Alex:"Ok, I bet my whole leg, cause I don't want this game to last the whole day"

We continued. I couldn't really get of the chair without my feet. "Guys I'm gonna have to pee sooner or later. Some of you might help me."

Zayn;"Don't worry about it. We'll help you out somehow."

Now it was my time to battle someone. I picked Jordan and won. "I want to swap our dicks."

Jordan stood up screaming as his dick disappeared. He looked down and my own emerged. I looked down as well and saw his in the place where mine was."

Jordan:"Did you do this on purpose? I have to pee now dude."

Me:"Haha, yeah I did. I wanted to know if it would work."

Jordan ran (or limped with his new set of feet) to the bathroom and locked himself in:"Play without me. I'll be back soon"

We played the story for a while without any conflict, but now we had to wait for Jordan to come out. He really took some time in there.

He got out of the bathroom sweaty, smiling and with his shirt tucked behind his shorts

Me:"Dude, don't tell me you have..."

Jordan:"Hell yes I did. And I must say you have a magnificent dick. The cum shot on the wall is the biggest proof of it."

Me:"You're disgusting Jordan. What if I did the same?"

Jordan:"Don't act like you don't want to right now."

Zayn:"Guys, let's play, you can get even in another way."

Me:"Jordan, don't be a pussy and bet something big this time."

Jordan:"Fine I bet my lower body half, dick excluded. I'm keeping yours for a while"

Me:"Don't be a bitch. I bet my whole body without my head... And Jordan's dick"

Jordan:"Fine, well so do I."

Alex and Zayn just observed amused. We continued.

Now Alex dueled me. I lost. Jesus no...

Alex pitied me I think, but maybe missed his arm. "I want your body you betted to be swapped with mine."

I now had feet again, but lost an arm in the process. I could feel Alex's muscular body form under my clothes. I used my remaining hand and trailed the abs under my shirt and the beautiful pecs. Then I flexed his biceps"

Alex:"Enjoying it huh?"

Me:"Dude, I never knew it feels so good to be this tight"

Jordan threw the dice and this time - number 20

Zayn:"Shit. I thought it would take some more time before I had to explain this one. Ok, so now we all are under the curse of Hecatoncheires."

Me:"What's that?"

Zayn:"It's a beast from greek mythology with hunderds of heads, hands and legs"

Alex:"So what does that mean for us?"

Zayn:"You now have to throw 15 or above to not be cursed."

Jordan:"What happens if we fail?"

Zayn:"Well... let's play and see shall we?" Zayn diverted from the question

Zayn threw 15, lucky guy. Alex threw 5 so he was doomed. Jordan threw 19. It was my turn now. Fuck 2

Zayn:"Ok, guys. You now have to go next to each other. And hug"

We did so. Nothing happened at first, but now we were both stuck. We couldn't move from each other. We were merging. I just watched as Jordan's horrified face ran from the room and Zayn went to get him.

But me and Alex were still merging. Now our body had a massive chest made out of our two harlves. My other parts were moved to the left side while Alex's moved to the right.

We were left with one extra pair of lehs without feet and only one extra arm and a thumb next to my arm.

Our dicks grew out right next to each other.

I couldn't look at Alex. He was directly next to my head. Limiting to see. We tried to get to the mirror. But our movement was really unorganised. We eventually got there to see what kind of a monster we became.

What caught my attention was our new combined crotch

The lines of two dicks were clearly visible

I took my only arm and with my hand I grabbed our crotch

Alex:"What are you doing man? That's my dick!"

Me:"I'm sorry Alex, but that's our dicks right now. I can feel both of them"

We both put our hands on them. We both could feel every part of our merged bodies. But I could control only the left part and Alex controled the right side of our body.

Alex:"Well, shitting is gonna be interesting"

I could feel we were both horny. I was a bit more because of the fact that the dick on my side was actually Alex's and Alex now had Jordan's

I unzipped our jeans. Alex gave me an approving smile. I lowered to jeans to see the new creation now

Alex:"I can't believe Jordan's dick is bigger than mine. I always thought he was small."

Me:"Well yours isn't fully hard yet, so don't worry."

I grabbed his dick and started jerking it. So did Alex, but he was jerking Jordan's dick. The whole time we were moaning in sync as we both felt the same. We knew how the other one felt. And in sync we shot loads from our dicks"

Just as we finished Zayn and Jordan came back into the room

Jordan realising that it's his dick that Alex was now holding got angry and went towards UA

Zayn:"Wait, Jordan you can't touch them!"

Jordan ran straight to us and probably wanted to scream something but ended up being absorbed into us. The pain started again. Jordan now emerged between us. New arms grew out, new legs, my dick in the middle and Jordan's head right between us

Zayn:"That's what I was trying to tell you. It's called a curse for a reason

Our new body was now a mix of hands everywhere trying to feel everything. Jordan was still screaming. But me and Alex knew that it was the first massive wave of all our feelings combined. The more people were part of our body the more pleasure we had. It was ecstatic and overwhelming.

Alex:"Come on Zayn. Join us"

Zayn:"I would, honestly. But someone has to reverse this"

We sat down next to the table to continue playing. I now controled an Jordans left arm and Alex controlled his right one. Jordan was now trapped until we were joined by another person.

Zayn kept playing. Quite nervous from what he caused. He finished the game out of fear as he watched us enjoy the senses of our combined body

The game ended but nothing happened. We didn't care. We were now feeling amazing. All three of us.

Zayn:"I... I don't know what happened. I thought it would all revert back to normal."

We stood up and slowly crept behind Zayn reading the manual to the dice

Me:"Oh don't worry about that. We can sort this out tommorow"

Alex:"What a great game you set up for us"

Jordan:"Truly one of the best. And you didn't even get to enjoy it enough"

Me:"I think you should relax now."

We got really close and Zayn probably got suspicious, but it was too late for him. I grabbed his arm and that was all that was needed for him to merge into us.

Zayn:"Oh god, this really feels amazing. We can feel everything multiplied"

Hecatoncheire:"We are amazing. We love our body. We are Hecatoncheire! And we need more beautiful bodies to join us!"

[haveihitanerve]

Yet another one- You guys know the drill :) :

Sams appreciative smile of Tom’s introduction of the idea of what they're doing, amazing supportive friendship

“One man, six strangers” This audience member is fun!!! “I've seen that video1” Tom help-

“Theres only thhhreee people up here” yes good math Tom, very nice

“Bilbo Baggins finds a diamond.” “Strong rip-off vibes there” tom i cant

“The confused racist panda” the confused raci- wh-whatttt

“You lost us right in the middle there.” thank you for showing it with your hands Tom, i really needed that actually

“You get three very white guys on stage and go “lets talk racism” it doesn't end well.” With you three i think it might, but fair point- also i thought he was just grabbing a drink- wheres luke??? 😭

“Is that from Twin Towers guy?” ok i didn't see the first half of the show- but thats an insane way to be categorized/known, also AJ fucking losing it is always a gem, love that

Even sam had to hang his head for that one lmao what did you do twin towers guy???

“The excited chinchilla?” Glances around at Sam and AJ. “What do you guys like so far?” Genuinely my heart omg-

“I like the excited chinchilla- what does that, what does that look like exactl-” AJ you better be asking about what the scene could possibly look like and not what the animal-

“What does a chinchilla look like?” AJ please 😭

Also just to mention- when he started speaking Tom pointed to him and idk but it made something inside me smile so… mentioning it…. moving on

“Its like a cute little-” forms a ball with his hands. I gotta say Tom, thats pretty accurate. “Gerbil-y sort of thing.” Sam finishing his sentence i cant 😭

Also if Tom keeps pointing to them like that i might actually lose it-

“What he said.” I love them so much and i don't even know why this sentence specifically made me scream that but um… yeah

Sam and AJ just standing up, trying to figure out wtf they're gonna do…hoping inspiration will come from being elevated or smth ig

“You know some people get a dog i guess.” AJ i fucking love you-

His shrug also- cutest thing i've ever seen in my life

Ok idc where this relationship goes- but Sam and AJ being in love is rarely a thing and i didn't know how much i needed it until now but its adorable- Sam has the sweetest smile and AJ genuinely looks afraid of this nonexistent chinchilla but calmer the closer Sam gets and ahhhhh

Also sam talking about children😭i know they’re fake but planning a future together- my heart-😭

- i genuinely did not see Tom coming- XD losing my lung rn laughing what- and he does the raspy worker dude voice so well- help

“Thanks dad.” AJ marry me rn. 

HE EVEN CAUGHT SAM OFF GUARD!!!!!

“...chinchilla.” The way he said that- wh-sir why??? 

Sam and AJ are both also caught off guard- oh this is gonna be a fun one i can tell- literally both breaking together at Tom’s strange growl 

“Was this your idea?” Perfect gruff disapproving dad Tom, 10/10

“One moment sweetheart.” yes yes!!! Protect your daughter, take aside the boyfriend/husband???-it hasn't been established yet- and then… idk what actually but yes i love how gentle he was to AJ lol

“Listen i like you, yeah?” The audience understands lmaooo!! Sam thats never a good sign, run

Tom breaking- his little peek at AJ and then having to cover his mouth to hide his smile Ahhhhhhh so cute!!!

OH!!! He looked over because AJ was laughing at him- got it!!!

*AJ playing with the chinchilla* thank you captions- but im pretty sure that was just him almost dropping it-

“I think you've made a mistake here-” AJ wheezing

“Don't look at her-” “i love her!” THATS LOW SAM!!! THATS LOW!!! HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT HIS DAUGHTER- HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE CHINCHILLA!!!! WOWWWWWW

Ok im better now (fuckin hilarious also sam, stellar)

“Shh-shhhut up.” we always love the drawn out shhhhut up

“I don't mean my daughter,” thank you for clarifying tom

AJ is running out of things to do lmaooo- holding it up to the light, turning in a circle, ah zabenya-ing it

“Just keep your door locked at night yeah?” TOM WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN??? HELLO????? I was not informed this was a horror story-

Sam is equally as confused as to where hes taking this- oh hes miming now

“At the bottom of your door you've got a- one of the draft excluders” tom what does that mean 😭

“I hope im overthinking this” you are, you so are, but i cant wait to see where this goes- oh my gods

“Keep your eyes open. Especially when you’re sleeping..” okkkk thats creepy and totally normal and what a father in law totally says-

AJ is tired of being a side character- lovely “boy chat??” idk what his hand movements are but im loving it

Sam side eyeing Tom is amazing

“You remember-” that lunge forward is worse than anything a chinchilla can do tom what- 

Also Sam and AJ breaking, they did not see that coming’

“They can feel you breathing… they can always feel you breathing.” Ok thats ominous but also why do i feel like thats a random fact that Tom learned about chinchillas that hes adding into the story??? Idk seems like a thing they can do, and a thing hed know, and a thing hed do

Sam perplexed beyond reason how they're gonna make this a functioning scene

“Maybe in the war.” *shrugs casually* AJ!!! SIR what do you mmmmmeannnnnnnn  in the war????? What

Sam also almost breaking and AJ casually laughing because whatttt did he just say how are they furthering this plot

also off topic- the little tongue in the cheek movement is great, lovely, top notch, idk love it

AJ biting his lip and needing to look away so that he doesn't completely break is my everything

“You're an accountant, I’m a lawyer.” thank you for giving us backstory Sam, greatly needed

“Falling in love with you was the best thing I ever did.” ……. SIR. How am I ever gonna find someone if you’re pulling these lines on your fucking friend while doing an improv show- 😭 the standards are too high already-

The kiss 😭

Sam’s squint at Tom like “what the fuck are you- what are we doing here? Do i move in- was that stagecraft?- what??” 

His shrug of “oh well fuck it I guess.” and moving a chair into scene while still shrugging at Tom bc he has no idea what to do

Sam repeating back all of Tom’s words in a slightly different font because he wants Tom to have control of the scene- and he has no ideas- 

AJ looking between them and doing three pretty blinks as he pieces together the story

“Gavin…” *nervous chuckle* “obviously theres a difference.” please tell him Tom, we’re all dying to know, him especially

“Ckkk” what does that mean Tom 😭i thought it meant castration at first but now???

AJ stepping forward- wanting to join the scene but he’s still not entirely sure wtf is going on and three confused scene partners is a recipe for disaster- and oop Tom has an analogy maybe wait-

“Let me finish the sentence.” the pose Sam does- help-

AJ’s slow smile as Tom continues the bad analogy

“Of course.” Sam you’ve never “ckk”ed anything what do you mean of course

“What you've done-” AJ’s little lean back and victorian hand over mouth chuckle is my favorite thing in the world he does it so much and it kills me every time its so cute

Sam loosing it- and Tom breaking on stage!!! Thats something you don't see often!!

“Venomous” VENOMOUS???? THATS THE METAPHOR??? IT ISN'T ONE????

Oh nevermind its still a metaphor

The brainstem????? Thats what “ckkk” is?????

Im so confused help 😭

Tom’s spin in the chair is hilarious- peak comedy truly

“Can you imagine an unsnipped chinchilla???” I can now??? ALso both Sam and Tom breaking again, beautiful

“Have you ever seen a Rhino with a gun?” wtf??? “No??!?!” “thats the only thing i can compare this to Gavin!” I love how he keeps casually dropping in Gavin while Gavin has yet to name him

“How'd you just come in through the back of the store?” i see stagecraft is at play

AJ also knew it was coming but laughed anyway-peak

“Thats the least of your worries right now.” yes Aj, flip it on him!!! King

“Just on-just one!” Tom sounds genuinely afraid this is golden

Oh ma gods- the way AJ’s scream cuts off perfectly and he and Tom just relax the second Sam cuts off the scene is perfect

“Captain.” wait a damn minute- Captain??? Captain of the Police Force??? Not KING???? anyway-

“Five thousand people died.” damn. damn

also Tom laughing in the background, legs crossed and fingers steepled against his chin in proper Tom pose- i adore

“Theresa may.” Audience member i love you

And the way the roll with it too- gads i love them

Sam finally breaking when AJ actually “calls” Theresa May

Tom resigning himself to play Theresa

None of them knew where they were going except Tom but they all wanted to create a scene- loving the chaos- lukeeeee 

That door creaking sound was a masterpiece and idk about you but Sam is a positively fucking terrifying chinchilla omg-

“Gary…” that audience member is losing her mind at his name being gary and i adore that for her

“Do you remember me from ZE WARRRRR!!!” the chinchilla asked calmly

“NO ONE CAN STOP ZE NAZI CHINCHILLAS!!!” Ok sam, praise, i love you, but why does it always come back to Germans??? There are more than just the one-two wars 😭like he could've created a fake one??? Nevermind its not important its the funniest one and maybe he’s just holding space for luke

AJ laughing as he dies via chinchilla is crazy

Killing him again is low but necessary lol

AJ losing it even more is a joy XD

I gotta say, very impressed with Sam’s pronunciation and then gibberish of german

AJ trying to clear the stage but Tom just stays fucking spread on the floor lmaooo

“Hold please.” AJ what???? Hes enjoying himself and being chaotic as always but what??? 😭XD

“I can hear you doing motions but this is a phone call so…” yes AJ!!!! Call him out!!!! XD glorious!!!

“With my man.” AJ i think ur in the clear to give him a name- i don't think its been done- but playing it safe, i see- even though its never stopped you before, giving someone two names but like wtv thats not my business-

Sam just messing with Tom’s arm/hands (making him slap himself) even though AJ specifically pointed out it was unnecessary but we love an annoying king- and dragging him around by his hair lol

Paella??? Is this a call back??? Its only the short story, but im assuming AJ’s being a lil bitch and making Tom say paella again- also Sam’s “squid” motion for Tom was brilliant XD

Sam dropping his head on Tom’s shoulder to laugh- my heart

“Im glad to hear I sound normal to you.” 

“Hang up ze fucking phone!!!” 

“Everything okay?” the switch from chinchilla to Sam gave me whiplash hang on-

“Did he?” “yeah yeah yeah.” “...did he?” Genuinely curious- did he? “Well he said the word.” Aj i love you

“Where its gone.” Im sorry but they said it in sync and together in harmony and like obvi but it just gives me joy anyway-

“Fuck we should probably look for it shouldn't we?” yeah just maybe AJ. 

“Ill go down to the basement..” they both knows what gonna happen. “And see if its there.” both break. “What could go wrong?” thanks for saying the classic foreboding everything-will-now-go-wrong phrase sam

AJ’s shrug is such a mood i love him

“Ill see you upstairs.” “maybe.” if AJ doesn't die now I want a refund-

Tom: ominous basement noises

“Thats the music to the scene-” yes AJ, its like in movies- you don't address it!

“I already turned zis light on.” sorry sam but i thought the “chch” was the sound of a gun cocking-

“Hello cecily.” well thats terrifying-

“Franz Haberburg.” we get a Tom smile!!!! And AJ breaks as well, so cute

“The door is pretty closed and soundproof.” Sam what??? Poor Aj is gonna die XD- also AJ’s little laugh is my life

“HUSBAND! HU-HUSBAND!!!” “you don't seem to know his name.” XD Give the poor man a break Sam, hes been bullied for not remembering names enough times-

“I call him husband thats what we do its a cute thing.” AJ- still don't think he’s been named yet so you're free but like i respect it

“Who are you- well i know who you are- but what are you doing in my basement!” Now hes asking the real questions

“Until 1939.” the way Tom covers his mouth with his fingertips every time he laughs off stage gives me life- only the fingertips too- not the whole hand its- anyway

“What do you- what do you mean?” Aj breaking and Tom still laughing- asking the real questions now

“But it just wasn't racist enough-” Tom, previously: three white guys on stage, lets talk about racism, yeah, good idea

Why are they making the chinchilla- you know what i don't want to know the thought process- also Tom’s delight as hes watching is everything so its fine

“Your father is dead.” The audience who already knew this: *dramatic gasps* YES!!!! Finally a good audience who does all the proper dramatic gasps!!!

Dead tom enters the scene again!

“Have you ever zeen ze film terminator?” AJ’s back caving with a laugh, Tom twitching with laughter and Sam breaking mid sentence- i love these stupid goobers

Also the way AJ is gently cupping Tom’s neck-

“But no every single *grows quieter* chinchilla is a *laughs* nazi” AJ breaking- i love this skit omg XD-

“I-it-s im just stalling” good work AJ- very smooth, the audience has no idea. 

Aj actually stumbling when Sam ducked- and the sound his arm made is crazy(also the way he checked to make sure he wouldn't actually hit Sam- my heart)

“Sooounnnd.” that was angelic Sam wow

AJ’s slow NPC turn-

“Maybe move on from this bit-” AJ and Sam both breaking- probably wise, honestly

*uncomfortable AJ*

“HUSBAND! HUSBAND!!! THE CHINCHILLAS A FUCKING NAZI!” Sam’s completely break- he did not expect that right out of the gate- (nor did he probably expect AJ to live through the scene but whatever-)

Also tom casually in the corner now because he cant really move theyre in the way so just watching and grinning-

“HE *YOU* VERY VERY NEARLY GAVE ME THE HITLER SPEECH! WE WERE THIS🤏CLOSE!” Sam loosing it- oh and Tom escapes to the back

“AND I ABANDONED THE SCENE!” Aj is just publicly shaming Sam now-

“I GOT OUTTA THERE! BECAUSE I HAD TO!” explaining how tf he made it out of the basement-

“I HAD TO!” wayyyy too close to Sam’s face

“Have some beans” Aj: *rightfully confused because wtf?*

AJ genuinely loosing his shit and doing some strange drinking of beans and stagecraft

TOM AS THERESA!!! SHES HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!!!!

Sam also forgot about that character- or didn't expect Tom to dedicate to actually playing her- XD

AJ CASUALLY HAS A SHOTGUN WHAT-

“Wait-wh- one! Where did you get a gun-” wise questions Sam

“Two- this is the former prime minister. She tried to get the good Brexit deal- why are you pointing a gun at her?” Lmaooo Sam

Tom: *kills himself* Sam: *takes his time to get behind him to pretend like it was him*

“Theresa May is the best Nazi killer in ze world.” all three of them laughing before recovering really fast

XDXDXDXDXD sam having to alternate between his two [personalities- a comforting husband and a nazi chinchilla- what even is their life-

AJ- its a shotgun my love, not a machine gun. Sam- thank you for just staring at him for a few minutes, contemplating whether or not to point it out before ducking under all the bullets- even tho he’s been shooting for a while longer than you ducked, nicely done

“The other one…” AJ has no idea…

“And scene- thank you.” the pure relief-

AJ casually asking Sam if thats his drink before getting his actual drink- they’re so cute

Anyway that concludes todays one- thank you!!!

Also- this show had the best Sam faces- amazed that his besties can be just as unhinged as him sometimes- hes great at the random comments that completely transform a scene (cough cough, disciplinary meeting comments, cough cough) and then does an awesome job at pretending to be shocked/amazed/horrified when the others do the same- its hilarious- anyway thanks for reading!

@dawn-speckled @snek-of-eden hope you guys enjoy!

[velvetvexations]

as we all know you are THE popular Tumblr transfems. all of the popular radical feminist transfems on the site are actually the underdogs and definitely don't have huge followings or any social power on this website. don't look at their four-digit follower counts or the way they subtly encourage dogpiling people because they know there's a crowd of people who will do it immediately that's irrelevant

TRFs think 1k and 15k are the same number because they both have a one in them.

Being so many levels deep in the feminism discourse makes daily life amusing sometimes. Like some of the shit I wanna joke about would probably comes off as misogynistic without the context of it being in response to radical feminism but it's so funny. Like saying shit like I love erasing women doesn't necessarily make sense to someone who doesn't know it's in response to terfs talking about gender neutral medical language etc. Or like having to hear constant feminism 101 basic bitch feminism stuff from people around me and just nod cause I know they don't wanna hear about The Nuance cause the average person isn't as interested in social and gender theory as I am. Like to the average level one feminist I can understand how more complex feminism can come off as misogynistic so I don't Get Into It with coworkers and the like but I am always sitting here brimming with Opinions anyway. That and people at work seem to read me as "guy who's kind of gender nonconforming" rather than trans so I don't get interpreted as being a voice of "authority" on anything about gender or misogyny (and I'd rather stick with that than be the Outspoken Tranny tm). It's a silent game of "I know more than you"

lmao you're hiding your power level

How the heck do I not take doing something bad as life ending. I fucked up today bc I lost track of time and missed doing something with my bf. He says he’s not mad but I can tell he feels bad in some way, and I don’t blame him, I unequivocally DID fuck up, and it’s hard not to want to just fall on the ground and rip my skin off ngl lol but I know at this point if I keep apologizing or asking him if I can fix it or offering him shit is just going to come across desperate and weird, and I have to take him at face value that he is not mad, and it’ll be okay tomorrow, but arghhhhhhhh I’m historically horrible at taking people who are clearly upset saying “I’m not mad at you” at face value

please let me know if you find out because that wrecks me too

Fascinated by how much transandrophobia in queer spaces is like, 'youre a Dude and therefore obviously you cannot experience this opression the way you think you do, people obviously view you as a Man and therefore you have male privilege, anyway heres the most wildly specific misogynistic trope youve never seen aimed at cis men aimed at trans dudes, this is not sus at all' Yes this is abt the 'trans dudes on t should go on mood stabilisers' before someone asks.

it's so blatant

i find it very fun(/s) that theres like, two separate groups of trfs where one is super open about hating transmascs n shit and the other is more "guys THEORY" and the second group constantly pretends the first group doesn't exist and actually you're lying literally no one has ever said that ever what are you talking about

Mask on, mask off.

started just instant blocking anyone I see putting trf bullshit on my dash. soon I will have peace.

true inner peace

[dangermousie]

God, this is kinky as fuck.

She's the substitute - he only went after her because his first choice ran away. And she was definitely not planning to bang a bandit when she embarked on her trip. But you know what? They totally totally fit.

He genuinely sounds shocked. I mean, she was supposed to be the inferior substitute but he's clearly way more into her than he was into FL. Perhaps because she actually wants him! Like he clearly never saw any woman as a person so consent was irrelevant but I think he's about to discover it's way more fun if she wants you as much as you want her.

Like he starts stripping her AT THE SAME TIME SHE STARTS STRIPPING HIM.

Hahahahha smooth talking not your skill, dude! But I love his continuing shock at what a much better time he's having with the "substitute"...

Heh!

And she starts ripping off his shirt. I love her!!!

[mattheo-riddles-princess]

Okay ||JJ Maybank X RoutledgeReader

JealousJJ Maybank X RoutledgeReader

18+ Minors DNI

Plot: The one time Pogues and Kooks can get along. Until two hot-shot Pogues start causing problems.

Warnings: Jealousy, slightly toxic relationship, drinking, fighting, frustrated sex (angry, desperate, make-up), implied relationship, praising, dirty talk, language, pet names, teasing, fingering, pinv sex, no condom (wrap it before you tap it), overstimulation, oral (male and fem receiving) no mention of y/n Let me know if I missed anything

AN: I am so sorry for the amount of world building. I absolutely love working characters into scenes and tend to spend too much time doing that.

Co-Written with @buckybarnesbbydoll

There was something intoxicating about parties at the Boneyard. The way that this was the only place everyone on the island seemed to get along. The only time the kids from Figure 8 can tolerate us from The Cut. And then there is the Tourons. My brother calls them "Chum for the sharks." Which, I guess, is kinda true.

"Hey, sis," I whip my head around as John B. jogs over to where I am currently flirting with some random touron. Chum for the sharks, right?

He hands me a red cup and starts talking as I take a drink. "Dude, this party is fucking awesome."

I chuckle. He is clearly shitfaced, "It really is. How many beers have you had?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm just having fun. BUT," he speaks louder than I think he actually meant to, "go back to flirting with this guy-what's you name?"

The guy I've been talking to looks confused and it occurs to me that I can't actually remember his name. He stares blankly before my brother waves his hand, "Luk-"

"LUKE!" JB nudges me, smirking, before walking away. I sit back down and take a sip of beer before turning back to Luke.

The sun set about 20 minutes ago. Bonfire started long before but now they are the only form of light on the beach. I stopped talking to Luke an hour ago and have since been flirting with all the guys. Especially the Kooks.

I know I'm driving my boyfriend crazy by flirting and I can feel his eyes burning into me as I saunter around.

Everything is normal until I hear a commotion and gasps from partygoers.

I turn just as I see Topper punch my brother, knocking him to the ground.

"Hey, John B, don't make me drown you like your old man, all right?"

I can feel my hands tighten into a fist and, without thinking, walk to where the fight is happening. JJ must have seen me because he rips away from Pope, who was trying to calm him down, and grabs me from behind.

"Baby," he whispers in my ear and I struggle to break out of his arms. "Babe, calm down. Let him deal with it."

I continue to struggle as JB gets up and tackles Topper. Sarah and Kie are both yelling for them to stop. By now, JJ lets go and starts cheering JB on. "That's what I'm talkin' about!"

I watch as they throw punches until Topper flips JB and starts pushing his head underwater.

I freeze as I watch some fucking Kook try to drown my brother. I can feel Pope stare at me, watching to see what I'm going to do. I start to lunge towards them and Pope grabs my arm, keeping me back.

What the fuck is it with people holding me back?

I am fighting to get away from Pope when I see JJ put something to Toppers head. Fuck. The gun we found earlier.

JJ speaks so quiet that he can barely be heard above the cheering, "Yeah, you know what that is. Your move, broski."

Pope finally lets go of me and everyone is shouting trying to get off the beach and away from my psycho boyfriend.

There is more shouting and arguing between the group before JJ yells, "Okay, everyone, listen up? Get the hell, off our side of the island." He fires the gun into the sky.

There is a pause before we all start yelling and pushing and arguing.

"What the actual FUCK, JJ." I'm yelling at the top of my lungs.

The rest of the Pogues have walked to help get JB and bring him back to the Chateau.

"Do you know how fucking stupid that was? Like, honestly? How shitfaced drunk and high do you have to be?"

"Really? You're yelling at me for protecting my best friend-your brother? AND you were the one flirting with guys literally ALL FUCKING NIGHT," he's angry, and desperate, and drunk, and high, and all the things that make it hard for me to be mad at him.

"I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry that we have to hide our fucking relationship from my brother. I'm sorry that I flirted with guys in front of you. I'm sorry that I'm drunk enough the try to fight Topper for trying to kill my brother. I'm sorry that we're fighting because I don't want to argue with you; I'm just so fucking frustrated."

He stares at me, unblinkingly, as I rant.

"AND to top it all off, you look so fucking hot right now and all I want to do is run my fingers through your hair while having the best fucking make-up sex of our entire relationship."

I look down realizing I'm somehow I'm close to tears. Maybe it's the alcohol maybe it's the fight with JJ, maybe it's both. I don't know. All I know is that I'm crying, in front of my boyfriend, after telling him I want to have sex.

He still hasn't said a word and I'm starting to wonder if he is planning on telling me to go home because I'm drunk or some dumb shit. I don't look up until I feel him wrapping his arms around my back.

"Fuck, baby. I can't be mad at you when you go say shit like that," JJ speaks in a low tone, his voice hoarse.

We barely make it back to the Chateau before our clothes are on the floor of my room.

JJ unzips the back of my dress, his lips never leaving mine. His kiss is possessive and angry.

"Do you know how much I wanted to fucking kill every guy you flirted with? You're fucking mine. Got it?"

I rip his shirt off of him and run my hands over his abs.

He grabs me by my ass and I wrap my legs around his waist as he pushes me against a wall. His head moves to my neck, kissing and sucking his way down to my left breast. He stops as he reaches my bra.

I lean into him and his hand slips behind me to unhook it. He pulls it off of me and his lips are locked back on mine before I hear it reach the floor.

He starts grinding his hips against me and I moan into his kiss, starving for more. His kisses trail back down my collar.

"JJ," I whisper.

"Mmh?"

I drop my legs and he stares at me. I smirk, "I'm going to show you what happens when you do stupid shit. Got it," he nods. "Good. Now," I drop down to my knees and starts unzipping his pants. I pull his boxers and jeans off in one motion. His hard cock sits inches from me. I stare up at him as I wrap my hand around his dick. I pump up and down for a few moments before licking the tip of it with my tongue. He moans deeply and throws his head back.

I move my mouth up and down and play with his balls in my hand. I can tell he is getting close by the way his deep moans turn into moans of desperation. Desperate to cum, to be inside me, to cum inside me.

Without warning, he pulls me back up and kisses me deeply. We walk to my bed and he pushes me back on it. He towers over me.

"You're not the only one who is fucking pissed. I'm going to fuck you so good, the Kooks are going to hear you screaming my name."

And with that, he lines his cock up with my slick folds. I whimper as he pushes himself into me. We do this all the time and I still don't get used to it.

He roughly thrusts into me, kissing me deeply. I moan into his mouth as he thrust into me harder and faster.

"Fuck, baby you like the way I fuck you" JJ says. I can only moan in response, as I feel myself getting close to coming undone. "Fuck- is my pretty girl gonna cum for me?" JJ mocks.

I whimper, "please JJ" I say begging for that sweet release.

"Yea sweetheart, beg for me- fuck".

"Please,please,please" I beg as I come feeling my walls clench down on his girthy cock.

"There ya go love, fuck good girl" he praises me as I come down from my high.

He ruta into me a few more times before I feel him unload inside of me. We lay there panting for a moment before he pulls out of me and moves his head in-between my legs.

He pushes two fingers into me. I'm still coming down from my last orgasm and I buck my hips in response. Apparently that was all he needed because his tongue found my clit.

"Oh, fuck, JJ. Holy shit."

He chuckles as he suckles my clit. It doesn't take very long before I cum again. He licks my pussy until he gets every drop.

He comes back up and kisses me deeper than any other kiss.

"Fuck."

"Does that mean that you're not mad at me anymore?" JJ's voice is soft.

"I love you, JJ."

"I love you too."