#but they actually fucking rip dude they are so much fun

[corvidcrybaby]

I was tagged by @the-frankenman-writes to post six albums I love!! Here they are

From left to right and top to bottom...

Stench by Nekrogoblikon || Stranger Fruit by Zeal & Ardor || In the Constellation of the Black Widow by Anaal Nathrakh || Daddy Rock II by Daddy Rock || Reign Supreme by Dying Fetus || ...For Victory by Bolt Thrower

No-pressure tag to: @neet0 @cry-ptidd @brunette-barbie42 @shatteredhero @vohalika @judgejazzy

[mummer]

hundreds..... HUNDREDS...... why did i only just now notice the Hundreds of it all... grrm release the abelon tapes NOW. this is so painful to just sprinkle in there bc you know gyladyn is hiding some bullshit because how does the chad abelon have in depth material about the lives of hundreds of different minor female nobles and the virgin gyldayn is like “lemme go on a ten page tangent about the hungness of the guy who impregnated 14 year old coryanne wylde instead of saying something interesting ever” shut UUUUPPPPP

[orcelito]

Me starting fe engage rolling my eyes at animated sequences, hating the voice acting + the overdramatic sprite animations, being taken out of the battle I was enjoying to watch more animated sequences & being like "just Let Me Fight! The Fuck?????"

In other words my engage game is going swimmingly, it seems

[oimitocat]

STRAY KIDS REACTION….

… to boyfriend!reader being angry and they find it hot (nsfw warning) (hyung line!)

ᡴꪫ CHAN… was extremely similar to you. you’re a lay-backed person, sure sometimes you have episodes where you’re not exactly in the mood to socialize but still, you’re charismatic and let things slide more than he does. you always say it’s because you don’t have energy to entertain that stuff.

yet, seeing you angry — TRULY angry, was something he’d never think he’d get to see. so color him surprised when he hears you shout and pace. the furrow of your brows, your darkened eyes. you looked… good. that tone, he’d never heard it and… it stirred something in the pit of his stomach.

“something wrong?” he asks after a while of eye fucking you.

“company said i need to go on a damn hiatus because some shitheads are spreading a rumor. i could care less, why do they have to make it seem like i’m anxious or whatever?”

chan blinks. “rumor?”

“yeah, super stupid. all i did was call them to say i wasn’t happy with how our last show ended. dude, they literally couldn’t get my headset to work, i had to wing the timing and stuff. their lack of work effort pisses me off.” you groan.

“i know but…” chan pauses when you glare at him. he swallows, “hey, i mean a hiatus is good. you get to rest.”

“i don’t want to rest-“

“i get to have you all to myself without worrying about you missing out on your schedule.”

“if you’re bored, play with me. if you’re angry, take it out on me. you’ll have all the time to do so.” he grins.

you blink, “i- what?” and you can’t even be angry anymore… just frustrated. but chan will also take that.

ᡴꪫ MINHO… had the habit of annoying you and frustrating you sometimes, but never actually making you angry. as idol’s there is a lot of things that can drive you mad. minho for example hates wardrobe malfunctions. fans went crazy over some clips of him angry and upset over a few outfits and so have you.

you never really cared for much, at the end of the day you get a nice paycheck and you’re good to go. still, that doesn’t mean you don’t care about your job. so when he sees that your mic isn’t working and you’re more than upset at the lack of resolve from the sound techs…. he simply cannot look away.

even when you get off the stage, you’re glaring and absolutely not in the mood. everything you do is with anger— ripping off your headset, wiping off your sweat, loosening your outfit. goodness, you look delectable.

“you mad?” he asks teasingly, of course he has to tease.

“i’m not in the mood minho.”

oh! that anger had a pretty tone. “fuck,” he breathes out, pressing himself closer to you, “you gonna take it out on me?” and your eyes bored into him.

he definitely didn’t regret it later.

ᡴꪫ CHANGBIN…. didn’t know you could get angry. he’s only seen you be all soft and gushy. he’s seen you be defensive and stern but never angry. he’s literally making his way to the studio when he hears your voice boom outside the door. worried, he walks in and sees how your standing and yelling at the other producer.

“what’s-?”

“-how long it’s taken us to keep these files and you forget to save them?!”

the producer fidgets, “doesn’t change have a copy? he always has a copy-“

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN THE COPY IS THE SAME AS WHAT WE WERE ADDING TO IT YESTERDAY! you can’t recreate something that was authentic!” you pace, pulling at your hair, “shit man, i worked so hard on that!”

“y/n calm down,” he tries, “what file is it-?”

“changbin, i literally cannot right now.” and you leave.

in the end the file wasn’t deleted, just misplaced in the wrong folder to which it was saved. still, the lack of clarity pissed you off. you didn’t want to work that day and changbin was trying so hard to coax you. yet, seeing you mad was so good for some reason. changbin knew he could make you feel better (totally not feeling you with his hands? and you being angry was making things fun.

ᡴꪫ HYUNJIN…. doesn’t remember a time where you’ve been angry. he’s also never even wanted to. he doesn’t like noise and he remembers how you always say you blow up when angry. hence, when he hears you slam your fist on the desk, he jumps. you’re dramatic like him, so he tried not to think much of it except…

“are you kidding me?” he hear you say with an ominous tone. low and sultry, makes him pause. “so you’re saying that you’re wasting my damn time.”

he peeks over at, seeing you frown and glare at the wall while on the phone. he doesn’t think he’s ever seen that look on you… his mind starts to wander…. would that expression look at him? you’re talking, angry, clearly. and it’s so…

“why are you angry?” he asks when you hang up with an insult and throw your phone of the desk.

“cus apparently i have to do everything myself. why the hell would you-“ and he zones out, watching your angrily rant.

you plop down on the chair, angry. he stands and walks over to you, desire in his gut. “baby don’t be mad…” “well i wouldn’t if they did what i was paying them to do.” “-let’s get your mind off that, yeah?”

and boy did he.

[vixialuvs]

YOU CAN BE THE BOSS !

୨୧ pairing - heeseung x reader

୨୧ cw - soft!dom hee, hee is readers boss/ceo and reader is hees secretary, daddy kink, oral (f & m rec), reader has daddy issues, praise, unprotected sex, aftercare

୨୧ summary - you’ve always gotten special treatment from your boss, what happens when he spots you at the club with another guy and gets jealous?

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

lee heeseung. a name you know all too well. he’s the ceo of the company you work under, and your boss. he’s also filthy rich and attractive. he’s the perfect man, tall, handsome and smart. every female employee fawns over him, but he just shoos them off. the only one he actually cares about is you.

when heeseung saw you on your first day on the job, he had a feeling he needed to protect you. you just seemed so sweet and delicate, like you were made of porcelain. he made it his mission to be close with you. you, being the lovely girl you are, easily became close with him even though he was your boss, to the point he knows about your daddy issues. but you keep it professional, you continuing to call him sir even though he tells you just to call him by his name.

but, he can’t deny the way blood rushes to his dick when you call him sir.

the amount of times he’d have to excuse himself from your conversations to jerk off in his, thankfully, soundproof office is downright embarrassing. you are so clueless, every time you watch him stumble over his words as he mumbles something about a call he has to take with the most innocent eyes makes it worse.

when you bounce into his office carrying papers, your soft breasts jiggling as you greet him with a sweet “hi sir!” he’s barely able to control himself. he’s just thankful his desk covers his hard-on.

however, you aren’t as pure as heeseung thought. after a long day at work, he decided to party in one of his favorite clubs with a few friends, jay, jake, and sunghoon. the last thing he was expecting to see was you swaying your hips with a couple of girls he recognized as your friends from pictures you’ve shown him, two girls named sumin and sieun. but, you weren’t just with them.

his heart practically stopped when he saw a guy all up on you, and you didn’t even seem to mind, you even looked like you were enjoying it. he could already feel the jealousy bubbling deep in his stomach, glaring at the way the guys hands were on your hips and your thighs, wandering too much for his liking.

the night goes on as heeseung sits at the bar with jay, taking shots as jake and sunghoon danced with some random girls they found, unable to take his eyes off you and that guy. your dress was also skimpy and short, barely covering your ass. it pissed him off even more.

“dude, what have you been staring at?” jay finally asks, downing another shot of vodka. he’s always been the chilliest out of all of them, keeping them in line. heeseung lets out a sigh, rubbing his temples.

“that girl over there. she’s my secretary.” he grumbles quietly, taking three shots in a row. jay raises an eyebrow, confused as to way he cares.

“so?” he says, “why do you care?”

heeseung groans loudly, finally ripping his eyes off you to look into jays eyes.

“honest to god, i don’t know man. i just, i feel so protective over her. she’s so perfect and sweet, and i fucking hate seeing that guy all up on her. she’s too lovely for that, she’s too intelligent, i just wanna punch him.”

he’s not even realizing he’s ranting until jay stops him.

“jeez dude, seems like you like her.” he clinks their glasses together, shrugging his shoulders as heeseung sighs, finally coming to a realization and accepting the fact he wants you. the tip of the iceberg is when the guy grabs your ass. he gets up, ignoring jays questioning and storms over to you.

you were having so much fun dancing with the guy, you didn’t even notice heeseung, your boss, coming over. a pair of strong, muscular arms wrap around your waist and pull you away from the man. you turn your head to see who it is, and your eyes go wide when you see its him.

“s-sir?” you stutter out, freezing up in his arms as he tugs you away. even though he’s so pissed at you he’s still so gentle with you. he picks you up bridal style and carries you out of the club, all the way to his black porsche. heeseung sets you in the passenger seat, sighing softly, but you can hear the irritation in his tone.

“what the hell were you doing all up on that guy, y/n? your supposed to be mine!” he blurts out in a angry, yet hurt tone, not realizing his confession. your eyes go wide, red covering your squishy cheeks.

“s-sir, what..?” you stutter out, extremely shy, looking at him with those sweet innocent eyes.

“you heard me angel, your supposed to be mine. don’t want to see you with those other guys little girl..” he whispers, his thumb stroking along your bottom lip.

“i know you have daddy issues baby. i want to protect you. i want to take care of you. let me spoil you rotten sweet girl. please?” he leans over the console, his lips brushing against your forehead.

his words make your face burn up. you can feel the heat pooling between your legs from his words, your thoughts going wild. all you can do is nod dumbly, your eyes fluttering shut as you lean in to kiss his soft lips, your arms wrapping around his neck. he gladly kisses you back, rubbing your neck.

“that’s it baby. such a good girl. gonna take you back to my place okay?” he mumbles, starting up the car, placing a warm hand on your inner thigh.

“yes daddy..” you unconsciously say, before realizing what you said and starting to apologize furiously but he shushes you.

“don’t worry little girl. i like when you call me that. daddy’s got you, okay?” he smiles at you as he drives, taking you back to his penthouse. when you get there he carries you inside and sets you down in the elevator, where he’s barely able to keep his hands off you, kissing at your neck sweetly. when you finally get up to the penthouse, he carries you inside and lays you down on the bed, immediately helping you out of your dress.

he pulls down your panties, a long string of your wetness connecting to them. he swears and tosses them to the side, hooking your legs over his shoulders and pressing a soft kiss to your clit. he takes your sensitive bud into his mouth, causing you to writhe and whine, he grips tightly onto your thighs, practically making out with your pussy. he moans into your cunt, slowly massaging your soft clit with his tongue.

“daddy! mngh! feels so good, you make me feel s’ good..” you whine out loudly, body jolting as you buck your hips into his mouth. he smirks against your pussy and guides you against his face, rubbing your thighs as he spits on your pussy before pressing his tongue flat against your hole. he smiles against your pussy, staring up at you.

“that’s it baby, just use daddy’s face. you’re okay. ride my face sweet thing. just keep your pretty eyes on me.” he coos, speaking directly against your pussy as he blows hot air on it. he brings you closer and closer to orgasm by the second, knowing your about to cum without you even telling him with the way your moans get high pitched. “daddy! i can’t take it! gonna cum! gonna cum!”

you squeal out, before making a complete mess on heeseungs face. he helps you ride out your high before resting his face on your shaven mound, his chin and lips glistening with your juices. he sits up along with you, tugging his shirt off as you unbuckle his belt, pulling down his slacks and palming him through his boxers.

“baby, take them off.”

he mutters, caressing your hair. you, being the good girl you are, pull off his boxers and crawl onto your knees infront of him. you kiss his tip and wrap your lips around him, immediately deepthroating him. he groans loudly, slightly tugging on your hair.

“fuck pretty, your such a naughty girl, didn’t know you were so slutty.. thought you were innocent.”

heeseung ever so gently fucks your face, unable to resist cumming down your throat so quickly, it’s slightly embarrassing, but turns him on so much more when he sees your eyes tearing up as you gag on his cock.

“thank you love.. i really need to fuck your little cunt okay? wanna feel my bulge in your belly.”

he lifts you up, resting your head back on the pillow as he lines his cock up with your entrance. he’s going to fuck you in missionary so he can see your pretty face. he pushes his cock in your pussy, groaning loudly. “your so fucking tight, i love your cute cunt.” your gummy walls are squeezing him just right, causing him to mutter curses under his breath.

he starts to fuck your warm pussy, holding onto your hips, pressing his warm hand on the bulge in your tummy. he’s watching his cock slide in and out of you, moaning.

“look at that, look how deep your daddy is inside you.. shit, i’m gonna cum.”

he’s so pussydrunk he cums in record time, twice this night. he fucks his cum into you, which drives you to orgasm aswell, he leans down and kisses your pretty lips, keeping his cock buried in your warmth for a while until he finally pulls out to run you two a bath, picking you up and setting you in the tub, washing your hair so lovingly.

“you did so good for me, baby. i love you so much. i want you to be my girl, okay? but im gonna make it official and take you out to dinner my love.”

he whispers into your wet hair, kissing the top of your head, after your bath, he carries you back to the bed since your legs are weak. you fall asleep in the comfort of your daddy’s arms, completely content.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

@vixialuvs 2024. reblogs and feedback appreciated !

[miriamladyvoid]

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My ask: I know the applications are closed but when they are open I would like a second part with: Silver, Sebek, Trey and Deuce. This section is too good to end like this, I hadn't laughed so hard all week (by the way good luck with your homework).

➸𝘍𝘜𝘙𝘉𝘈𝘓𝘓 𝘔𝘐𝘚𝘊𝘏𝘐𝘌𝘍 pt. 2

concept: [character] with s/o that has a very protective little brother!grim

characters: silver || sebek zigvolt || trey clover || deuce spade

disclaimers: reader is gender neutral || reader is yuu || fluff

𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫

grim knows not to mess with lilia’s son, but he does it anyways cus yk, that’s what blue furballs do.

dudes just trying to sleep until grim harshly wakes him up. “did you know that you shouldn’t date prefect cus they’re ugly and they they don’t love you. wake up and break up” poor silver.

you once tried to cut his hair cus it was getting too long, just when you were about to cut his bangs grim just oh so coincidentally as under the table and accidentally burnt your shoe. what happened to silvers bangs that day? the kokoro + xingqiu effect.

he grew up with lilia’s cooking, so of course you love to cook for the boy, but with grim around? he literally puked in the stew you were cooking for silver.

grim makes letters to piss him off and signs them off with your name, silver doesn’t really read them and they get sent to lilia so rip to you both.

𝐬𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐤 𝐳𝐢𝐠𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐭

“you probably love malleus more than you love prefect” “HOW DARE YOU SAY TO THAT, I LOVE THE PREFECT A LOT.” say goodbye to your rights to hear cus this mans a humanized megaphone.

grim loves taunting him with malleus, he’s the exact reason of the trust issues in your relationship. grim loves torturing this man.

his favorite activity is hanging out in the botanical garden so there’s no doubt he loves to take you there to talk about your day. it all goes so well until grim appears behind one of the flowers and technically sets his hair on fire.

he likes to carry you around, he loves it actually. just carrying you and running around diasomnia is so fun. however, it is not fun when grim makes him trip which results to the both of you falling.

he helps you with your math homework, which you are very grateful for. but grim did not let that slide, burning the papers alongside the table you two were sitting at.

𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

grim tries a lot of things to get you two to break up. but this man literally has fucking plot armor cus HOW???

grim once broke a bag full of flour to pour on you two, it was a success, but not how it was supposed to be.

you two were under the flour laughing your asses off, a single moment of silence and suddenly you two were KISSING? he wanted to puke out a whole furball at that spot.

there has also been times where grim tried to dump paint over you and blame it on trey, but ace and deuce always has trey’s back because, well, he’s the only piece of hope in the whole heartslaybul dorm.

angry trey is terrifying. grim once tried to sabotage your soup -which you were very proud of - and got stuffed in the oven for like 3 hours cus of this man.

𝐝𝐞𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐝𝐞

he loves it when you paint the little spade mark on his face, it always seems to go wrong after grim ‘accidentally’ replaced the bottle with hot sauce.

he wants to be the honor student and your honor boyfriend, he has to be physically restrained to stop himself from choking the furballs outta grim.

he gets so red and shakes so much when you just tell him a simple “you’re eyes are so beautiful” after you leave grim just appears outta nowhere and cosplays mira kano for a bit “you know they didn’t mean that right”.

dude will come to your dorm in the middle of the night and go “hey i lost my bed, can i sleep in yours?” really tired grim just responds with “this is why prefect doesn’t love you”.

he got you cute matching necklaces with him for valentines day but did those ever last? hell no grim literally snatched and then swallowed them when he was just about to put it around your neck. good soup ong.

The original publication and writing belongs to @miliinmi (Post recovered) 31/12/22

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Banners created by miriamladyvoid© Feel free to use; please, reblog, and credit banners.

Language of the flowers of each Banner:

First Banner: Camellia Japonica: Platonic Love. Second Banner: Peach Blossom: Generosity. Third Banner: Gillyflower: Bonds of Affection.

[bleedingoptimism]

𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚

part 2

Steve is looking around the room when he sees Jay waving at him, so he smiles and waves back. He likes Jay. He’s nice and super fun to beat at cards.

And then he notices there’s someone sitting beside Jay and his hand falters before he puts it down.

The guy looks… tough, all lean and strong and sexy in his leather jacket and ripped jeans. Tattoos, rings, and pierced ears with long curly hair. But his eyes, his big eyes are beautiful and dark and his lips are round and look really soft. He’s all sharp but round around the edges. A walking contradiction. And Steve’s never seen anyone like him before. 

Without taking his eyes off him, he moves over to where Chrissy is sitting with Robin and sits with them, takes Chrissy’s hand, and holds it lovingly like he always does. 

“Hey, babe,” He whispers to her, “Who’s that guy sitting with Jay?”

“That’s Strider,” Robin says leaning over Chrissy to talk to him, “He’s an old friend of Jay’s, new in town. Why? You like him?”

“Strider…That’s a character from the book Dustin likes, right?” He wonders, “The Hobbit?”

“The Lord of the Rings” Chrissy corrects him.

“Right… nerd” He quips.

“So? Do you? Like him.” Chrissy asks squeezing his hand in retaliation.

“He’s gorgeous,” Steve confirms and Chrissy smiles excitedly. It’s not every day Steve notices someone in the bar. It has never happened before actually.

“You really think so?” Robin murmurs to him, “He looks like he’d like telling you what to do,” 

Steve hums appreciatively, “Yes, but like, in a nice way, right? Like he’ll say please and thank you,” he says dreamily.

Robin snorts, “Is that what you are into, you nasty boy?” Steve gasps so hard he almost chokes on his own spit and Robin starts cackling, while Chrissy giggles cutely.

“Fuck off,” He snaps, “And you, don’t laugh you dummy! You are supposed to be the stoic leader here!” 

Chrissy sobers up immediately, “Right, right” and then the three of them, look at each other amused trying to hold their laughs in. 

Fuck, if anyone heard how silly they were their reputation would be completely ruined.

The phrase ‘fake it til you make it’ never made more sense than it does for them right now. 

When the three of them, fresh out of high school moved into the city when Chrissy started showing symptoms… they had absolutely nothing to their name, and now, they owned a fucking bar. They had a roof over their head, food on their tables, and more importantly, they were offering shelter to a lot of people that used to be where they were a couple of years ago.

The lack of information around them made them look mysterious. And Robin had a way with business and marketing. So a couple of well-placed rumors did all the work for them. Just a few lessons on how to make a real bitchy face from Steve and suddenly Chrissy was the scariest girl in the night. 

It had been a rough start, and more than once Steve thought they wouldn't make it till the end of the month. But they’d gotten lucky when they found this place and they had been smart about it and now they had responsibilities and a establishment to uphold but that didn’t mean they couldn't have any fun.

“Go talk to him!” Chrissy tells him elbowing him subtly.

Steve shakes his head, “No, no way,”

“Dude, he’s been looking at you since the minute he came in!” Robin insists.

But that doesn't mean as much as she thinks it does. That doesn’t make it safe for him. Still, he kind of wants to talk to him, to hear his voice, to know what he’s like and what he likes and what not. And just when Steve is actually considering it Mayra, one of their hostess, walks up to Strider. 

Robin frowns, “Oh, fuck off Mayra” she mutters and Steve has to stifle a loud snort.

“Oh well, lost my chance I guess,” He says unbothered but actually feels really upset about it. He’s never felt jealous of any of the girl's conquests before. It’s strange, but there’s something about that guy.

He wanted him for himself. He needs him.

“Bet you a burger that if you go there right now, he’ll choose you over her” Chrissy says studying his expression like she can see right through him. 

“I’m not gonna cock block Mayra for a burger” He smiles at her shaking his head.

“Oh! No need! He rejected her!” Robin tells them excitedly.

And then they both stare at him,

“What are you waiting for?!”

“Well then, go on!” 

They talk at the same time.

“I- Ok! Fine. But if he rejects me you are buying me that burger,” He says standing up.

“If he rejects you I’ll buy you burgers for the whole week!” Chrissy whispers-yells at him as he’s making his way there.

He sees Jay walking up and leaving Strider alone at the little table and makes a note to thank him later as he sits beside Strider and puts his elbows on the table, using his hands to rest his chin over and looking at him.

“Hi” 

Strider blinks at him a couple of times and visibly swallows, “Hi,” 

Steve just leans his head to one side and smiles at him, and Strider just looks at him for a long second before smiling back crookedly, a dimple appearing on his left cheek that makes Steve want to bite him.

“I’m Ee-Strider,”

Steve’s smile becomes something a little more genuine and less flirty, he seems so nice, his strider, “Hi, Strider”

“And you are Sunshine, right?” Strider asks leaning a little closer over the table.

Steve bites his lip before answering. He was never particularly fond of that nickname, it’s too much to live up to. But he really likes the way it sounds coming from Strider.

“That’s what they call me, yes” he answers smirking confidently.

‘Fake it Till you Make It’

“So, Strider, What brings you here tonight?” 

Once more Strider just looks at him intently, looks at his lips, and then shakes his head, looking around feigning casualness, “Oh, you know, just checking out the scene”

He muffles a giggle over his own shoulder and then leans his head to look at Strider sideways, exposing the line of his neck, “And how are you finding it?” he asks softly.

“Oh, it’s really neck so f- nice really nice… So far” Strider stumbles over his words and then cringes to himself and blushes faintly.

And Steve gets suddenly really fucking impatient. He needs this cute dork upstairs, naked and under him right now.

“Has anyone explained to you how things work around here?” He asks him, trying to move the conversation along. 

Strider nods, “Je-Jay explained to me the gist of it, yeah” 

“Oh, yeah?” Steve nods too and puts his chin on his hands again, fawning his eyelashes at him and waiting for him to elaborate.

“Well, you choose right?” Strider continues and gestures vaguely around the room referring to the hostesses, “And then you take us upstairs…”

“Mmhm” Steve hums encouraging him to keep talking, “And then?”

“And then I get to taste you,” Strider breathes and fuck.

Taste him? Taste him. Yes. He wants that. He wants that so much.

“Taste me?” He asks because the concept still sounds too good to be true.

“Right?” Strider asks like he’s not sure the said the right thing.

‘Oh, he has no idea how right he was’

Steve leans over the table and stops just an inch away from Strider’s face, almost going eye crossed to look at him, “Would you like that, Strider?” he asks and then moves closer and to the side to whisper in his ear, 

“Do you want to taste me?”

“God. Fuck, yes. Please?” Strider says in a rushed whisper and Steve tries his best not to shiver.

He stands up and offers up a hand to him, “Follow me.” 

part 1: 🍷

part 2: you are here

part 3: 🩸

bonus content: ☀️

ao3: 🌙

art: 🦇

coffee?☕🥐💕

[st-el-la-luna]

Thinking about being a civilian in Las Almas when shit goes down

You'd been invited to stay with a friend and, being in desperate need of a vacation, you'd agreed. It was fun, staying with them, meeting their family, learning about their hometown and childhood.

The fun ended pretty quick when these cunts dressed in black started killing everyone.

You and your friend had been out enjoying the night, eating, drinking, dancing. You were on your way back to their house when you heard it.

A gunshot.

Your friend tells you this isn't entirely abnormal. Tells you to ignore it and keep walking.

So you do.

But the gunshots are becoming more frequent. Louder too. They're getting closer.

A woman you vaguely recognize, one of your friends neighbours, rushes out of an alleyway, terrified and bloodied.

You can only understand so much about what's said before her head suddenly... Not there. Bits of skull and brain and blood spattered all over you as you watch her body drop.

You turn to your friend. "This is normal? Dude...."

You're friend tells you to shut the fuck up and that you need to run. As the sound of heavy footsteps and voices (American accents you register) get closer, accompanied by the sound of a gun being reloaded, you agree.

The two of you make a run for your friends house, passing all sorts of horrible sights. You're a block away when a gunshot rips through the night and your friend suddenly just... Stops.

You look back in disbelief. Their eyes wide with shock, lips parted, slack jawed... The new hole in the middle of their forehead. They try to say something to you, but all that escapes them is a choked groan. They throw you their keys, then collapse.

They're not dead yet. You can tell by their sounds and the rise and fall of their chest. A part of you wants to help them, grab them and drag them off to safety.

The other part of you recognizes the man dressed in all black (he looks suspiciously military but that doesn't make sense, killing civilians is a war crime... isn't it?), who's walking closer as he reloads his gun.

So you run.

Run and run until your legs are burning. Taking back roads and side streets, jumping fences, the adrenaline making it easy to ignore the way the barbed wire tears at your skin.

When you make it to your friends street, you find the door to their house is already open. Kicked down.

You find the dead inside.

A part of you wants to stop here, curl up and break down. The other knows that these people, these men in black, could come back at any moment. And so you do what you can to prepare yourself.

You empty your backpack of your belongings, filling it instead with anything you find around the house that might be useful.

A first aid kit buckled to the side. Rubbing alcohol and tequilla and whatever else flammable you can find poured into glass bottles, the lips stuffed with socks. Kitchen knives. Fire crackers and fire works. A couple flares. You manage to break open the safe and get a gun. An eight round revolver that you have no clue how to shoot but figure, hey, its better than nothing. At the very least, you could use it for intimidation.

You're heading to the garage where you're pretty sure you remember seeing a bow and full quiver of arrows (you were obsessed with the hunger games when you were younger, actually got pretty good with the weapon) when you freeze.

The man in black also freezes.

He's bloody and out of breath. Face smeared with dirt and oil. His mohawk disheveled. His blue eyes land on you laser focused. He's got a gun. A big one.

And he's looting the corpses. Your friends roommates, their bodies still warm as blood pools beneath them, some of their eyes still open, casting judgmental stares, lay there limp. And this fucker is acting like this is a D&D campaign.

You've got the revolver trained on him with shaking hands.

He points his gun (some sort of automatic things) at you. His hands are steady, practiced. His eyes sharp.

He opens his mouth to speak and takes a half step towards you.

You pull the trigger.

Nothing happens.

"Aye," the man speaks in a thick Scottish brogue. He sounds like he's laughing. How dare he laugh? If you could figure out how the stupid gun works you'd shoot him. "You've got to cock a gun like that 'fore you shoot it."

You freeze, your arm drawn back ready to throw the revolver at the man. His accent gives you pause. The other men in black, they were Americans. And this guy... His clothes are a bit different too. Though he's clearly also army.

You lower your arm hesitantly. "You're... You're not one of them."

"The Shadows?" he asks. "Tch, no. You'd best thank your lucky stars for that, they'd have killed you in a second flat."

"What the hell is going on here?" You demand, slipping the gun back into the makeshift holster you had made out of a couple belts. You step around the man to the garage and he follows.

"You're not from here, are ya love?" he asks as he watches you scan the shelves.

"I'm here on vacation," you say bitterly as you stand on your toes, struggling to reach the quiver of arrows. He pulls it down and hands it to you. The arrows are dusty and old, though still sharp. He hands the bow to you as well, albeit unstrung, and you let out a quiet hum in thanks. He watches as you string the bow, a brow raised. He looks like he's going to say something, but you cut him off. "You didn't answer my question... What's happening? Who are those people?"

He hesitates a moment, you notice his ear piece. Someone else is speaking to him. "Aye, i know, I know, but I cannae very well leave her here now can I?"

At the mention of being left, you panic. There's a pair of handcuffs on his belt. You grab them and before he has a chance to react, you've cuffed your hands together.

And swallowed the key.

Yeah... Not your brightest moment.

The man looks at you dumbfounded. Then speaks to the man in his ear. "Uh... Lt? Got a bit of a problem..."

Please reblog to support my writing!

Masterlist

[petew21-blog]

The curse of Hecatoncheires

Zayn shouted at us: "All is set guys. Let's get to the table"

Me:"Can't we just play Dungeons and Dragons just as we always do? This seems complicated. It will take us much more time to learn that then playing"

Zayn:"No, we're gonna play this. It's basically a modified version of what we always play. But much more fun."

Alex:"Ok, let's play before the weekend ends. I really wanna do something fun instead of just sitting here."

Zayn:"Oh, you're gonna have enough of fun today.

Ground rules:

We play the story just as we always do

The dice is a way of deciding conflict. But in this game you're not playing against the game. You're playing against each other.

The conflict can be won by throwing a higher number then the other. If you throw a higher number you win what the other person bet in that round"

Me:"Bet? We're gonna bet? With what? We don't have anything."

Zayn:"Actually you do. You have your bodies, your body parts. You can bet them. And the winner has 3 options a) keep your part he won over you, b) swap his part he bet with you or c) donate a part to someone else"

Jordan:"Zayn, this has to be one of the worst game ideas you ever had. Not only it's complicated, but we're just gonna pretend that our parts are not ours but belong to someone else?"

We all started laughing except for Zayn. He was serious. He then threw a cube on the table. It was the same as ourselves we usually played with. But this one glowed.

Zayn:"I see the explaining of rules will be better to do during the game. Right?"

We started the game. Each of us had to bet a part of our bodies.

I bet my feet, Zayn his thumb, Alex wanted to bet his head but Zayn advsied him not to, so he bet his arm. And Jordan wanted to boycot the game as always so he bet his dick.

We play for some time like always. But then me and Jordan stepped on the first fighting platform. Zayn:"Ok, Jordan. It's your time to choose your oponent"

Jordan:"I choose you (he pointed at me). I want your smell feet haha" He then threw the dice with number 15. Fuck I have to throw higher than that. The chances aren't that big tho. I threw the dice and saw the number 7.

Jordan:"Haha. I win your feet!"

Zayn:"Ok now you get to choose a/b/c. A is keeping it, b is swapping it and c is giving it to someone else."

Jordan:"Fine. We'll I'm going with option a. I want to have extra feet."

Suddenly the cube shined brightly. Me and Jordan screamed in pain. I looked down and saw my shoes fall off. Jordan was screaming horribly. He threw always his shoes. His socks ripped and at the same place where his feet grew, another pair grew out. Oddly familiar pair. Jordan looked down in shock.

Jordan:"What the fuck!!! Zayn what the hell is this?! What did you do?"

Zayn:"I already told you the rules. So this is the first option. I wanted to make our game a bit more special, cause I noticed how you guys grew more bored each game we played. So this should be more fun"

Alex:"This shit is incredible" he touched my feet on Jordan's body. I could still feel them a bit but I couldn't move them. Jordan was speechles and touched them too.

Jordan:"Holy shit dude. I have two pairs of feet. I have your feet man! Wow. They're really big. And really smelly. Have you washed them recently?"

Me:"Hey! Of course I did. I just... sweat a lot. It's a condition. I can't help it."

Zayn:"Ok, you have to pick another betting part and then we can continue"

I picked my dick just as Jordan has.

We proceeded and then Alex got in a duel with Zayn. Alex won.

Alex:"Ok, so... I don't want to be a freak like Jordan. I want to swap our two parts"

They also screamed. Alex's arm disappeared and now instead of it only Zayn's thumb was visible. Zayn's arm now instead of his thumb grew out another arm. It was massively long

Alex:"Zayn, but you said we would swap the parts. I just wanted your thumb instead of mine not this shit. I look like a freak. And so do you..."

Zayn:"Well those were the rules. If you want to swap the identical part and not the one that was threw in as a bet, you have to say so. Ok my new part to bet is my index finger"

Alex:"Bet something meaningful atleast. You now have my arm to bet"

Zayn:"Ok, you're right. I bet my feet."

Alex:"Ok, I bet my whole leg, cause I don't want this game to last the whole day"

We continued. I couldn't really get of the chair without my feet. "Guys I'm gonna have to pee sooner or later. Some of you might help me."

Zayn;"Don't worry about it. We'll help you out somehow."

Now it was my time to battle someone. I picked Jordan and won. "I want to swap our dicks."

Jordan stood up screaming as his dick disappeared. He looked down and my own emerged. I looked down as well and saw his in the place where mine was."

Jordan:"Did you do this on purpose? I have to pee now dude."

Me:"Haha, yeah I did. I wanted to know if it would work."

Jordan ran (or limped with his new set of feet) to the bathroom and locked himself in:"Play without me. I'll be back soon"

We played the story for a while without any conflict, but now we had to wait for Jordan to come out. He really took some time in there.

He got out of the bathroom sweaty, smiling and with his shirt tucked behind his shorts

Me:"Dude, don't tell me you have..."

Jordan:"Hell yes I did. And I must say you have a magnificent dick. The cum shot on the wall is the biggest proof of it."

Me:"You're disgusting Jordan. What if I did the same?"

Jordan:"Don't act like you don't want to right now."

Zayn:"Guys, let's play, you can get even in another way."

Me:"Jordan, don't be a pussy and bet something big this time."

Jordan:"Fine I bet my lower body half, dick excluded. I'm keeping yours for a while"

Me:"Don't be a bitch. I bet my whole body without my head... And Jordan's dick"

Jordan:"Fine, well so do I."

Alex and Zayn just observed amused. We continued.

Now Alex dueled me. I lost. Jesus no...

Alex pitied me I think, but maybe missed his arm. "I want your body you betted to be swapped with mine."

I now had feet again, but lost an arm in the process. I could feel Alex's muscular body form under my clothes. I used my remaining hand and trailed the abs under my shirt and the beautiful pecs. Then I flexed his biceps"

Alex:"Enjoying it huh?"

Me:"Dude, I never knew it feels so good to be this tight"

Jordan threw the dice and this time - number 20

Zayn:"Shit. I thought it would take some more time before I had to explain this one. Ok, so now we all are under the curse of Hecatoncheires."

Me:"What's that?"

Zayn:"It's a beast from greek mythology with hunderds of heads, hands and legs"

Alex:"So what does that mean for us?"

Zayn:"You now have to throw 15 or above to not be cursed."

Jordan:"What happens if we fail?"

Zayn:"Well... let's play and see shall we?" Zayn diverted from the question

Zayn threw 15, lucky guy. Alex threw 5 so he was doomed. Jordan threw 19. It was my turn now. Fuck 2

Zayn:"Ok, guys. You now have to go next to each other. And hug"

We did so. Nothing happened at first, but now we were both stuck. We couldn't move from each other. We were merging. I just watched as Jordan's horrified face ran from the room and Zayn went to get him.

But me and Alex were still merging. Now our body had a massive chest made out of our two harlves. My other parts were moved to the left side while Alex's moved to the right.

We were left with one extra pair of lehs without feet and only one extra arm and a thumb next to my arm.

Our dicks grew out right next to each other.

I couldn't look at Alex. He was directly next to my head. Limiting to see. We tried to get to the mirror. But our movement was really unorganised. We eventually got there to see what kind of a monster we became.

What caught my attention was our new combined crotch

The lines of two dicks were clearly visible

I took my only arm and with my hand I grabbed our crotch

Alex:"What are you doing man? That's my dick!"

Me:"I'm sorry Alex, but that's our dicks right now. I can feel both of them"

We both put our hands on them. We both could feel every part of our merged bodies. But I could control only the left part and Alex controled the right side of our body.

Alex:"Well, shitting is gonna be interesting"

I could feel we were both horny. I was a bit more because of the fact that the dick on my side was actually Alex's and Alex now had Jordan's

I unzipped our jeans. Alex gave me an approving smile. I lowered to jeans to see the new creation now

Alex:"I can't believe Jordan's dick is bigger than mine. I always thought he was small."

Me:"Well yours isn't fully hard yet, so don't worry."

I grabbed his dick and started jerking it. So did Alex, but he was jerking Jordan's dick. The whole time we were moaning in sync as we both felt the same. We knew how the other one felt. And in sync we shot loads from our dicks"

Just as we finished Zayn and Jordan came back into the room

Jordan realising that it's his dick that Alex was now holding got angry and went towards UA

Zayn:"Wait, Jordan you can't touch them!"

Jordan ran straight to us and probably wanted to scream something but ended up being absorbed into us. The pain started again. Jordan now emerged between us. New arms grew out, new legs, my dick in the middle and Jordan's head right between us

Zayn:"That's what I was trying to tell you. It's called a curse for a reason

Our new body was now a mix of hands everywhere trying to feel everything. Jordan was still screaming. But me and Alex knew that it was the first massive wave of all our feelings combined. The more people were part of our body the more pleasure we had. It was ecstatic and overwhelming.

Alex:"Come on Zayn. Join us"

Zayn:"I would, honestly. But someone has to reverse this"

We sat down next to the table to continue playing. I now controled an Jordans left arm and Alex controlled his right one. Jordan was now trapped until we were joined by another person.

Zayn kept playing. Quite nervous from what he caused. He finished the game out of fear as he watched us enjoy the senses of our combined body

The game ended but nothing happened. We didn't care. We were now feeling amazing. All three of us.

Zayn:"I... I don't know what happened. I thought it would all revert back to normal."

We stood up and slowly crept behind Zayn reading the manual to the dice

Me:"Oh don't worry about that. We can sort this out tommorow"

Alex:"What a great game you set up for us"

Jordan:"Truly one of the best. And you didn't even get to enjoy it enough"

Me:"I think you should relax now."

We got really close and Zayn probably got suspicious, but it was too late for him. I grabbed his arm and that was all that was needed for him to merge into us.

Zayn:"Oh god, this really feels amazing. We can feel everything multiplied"

Hecatoncheire:"We are amazing. We love our body. We are Hecatoncheire! And we need more beautiful bodies to join us!"

[beloved-femboyish-girl]

men moaning/whimpering playlist rating

Going Rough on your Sub Boyfriend [Boyfriend ASMR] [Whimpering] ("CozyCub ASMR" deleted) -- F. False advertising. No more fucking or being rough.

Petting Your Sub Cat boy [Whimpering] [Bottom Neko] -- B. Not a fan of bitches saying "master" but bros a lil bratty kitt

Dominating your sub boyfriend on his birthday (kisses)[ASMR RP]M4F (official audio) -- D. no domination involved really.

Risky Gorou ASMR| Making Him Whimper From Teasing- NSFW? Gorou x Listener ( Genshin Impact) (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] Risky fun with Gorou behind a building [Bottom] [Blowjob] [Whimpering] [Petting] [NSFW] [Gorou x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 35:56) -- B. aww cute lil puppy boy aww bros EMBARASSED about his puppy taillll

Mommy's good boy -- F. lame whimpers. dont like how he says mommy

Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ⌈NSFW⌋ (official title: [Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ~ [Boyfriend ASMR] [Soft Voice] [Pleading]) -- C-. didnt know if this was gay at first. its fine

Needy Subby Boyfriend Wants Your Attention (ASMR) [M4F] [mommy] [mdlb] [spicy?] [kisses] [needy] -- F. dont like how he says mommy. ""mdlb"" bro talks about going to work out. is lil bro getting ripped. is lil bro getting gains? no. shut up about the gym. talking soft bc roommates are audible too

Ignoring ur subby boyfriend until he breaks (excerpt of Ignoring your subby boyfriend until he breaks (M4A)) -- A. exactly as advertised. fun acting. hes trying soo hard. hes been so good. fuck

100 Tier: "Stuffing The Bird.." A Pleasure Dom Fem!ListenerX Confident To Subby Hawks NSFW HARDCORE (M and NB variants)-- THEYRE BIRDS?? YOURE ACTUALLY BIRDS? kinda awesome B hes being too smug and overacting too fast. Dude are those kissing sounds or am i feeding him a WORM. His guttural breathing is freaking me out dude. mic glitches. ok my bad we're not feeding him worms we're feeding him PUSSYYY!!! + yuup we're tasing your balls bro. id bump up a letter for pain noises but its just too much besides that.

18+ Thoma x Listener| Sub Thoma Moans| Private Meeting At Komore|ASMR Roleplay| Genshin Impact (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] F*cking Thoma at the Teahouse [Bottom Thoma] [Making Him Hold the Moan] [Subby Noises] [Thoma x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 29:06) -- C+. bros still acting well its just no puppyboy and pretty tame.

alright thanks see you tomorrow for tge next ten

PART TWO:

gr#nding against your sleepy boyfriend~ (unknown source) -- D-. doesnt understand anything sexy about the conceit. or maybe at all !

"Couldn't Sleep?" A "Cure" For Restlessness Gojo X M!Listener NSFW (F and NB variants)-- 😥 the bird one was bnha so like is this one is too whos gojo. but same as with the doggy gen-- he just said いただきます. and now a footjob is happening?? bros gagging on whoever "Listener"'s cock is tho. WONT STOP SAYING "THANK YOU FOR THE ME- HE JUST SAID IT AGAIN??? C+ for the continuously impressive voice acting but. well theres wet plapping now. but . the character acting

M4M Annoying sleep boyfriend for cuddles (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Annoying your sleepy boyfriend for cuddles! [ASMR] [BL]) -- bold decision to take on the persona of "annoying". aww no ones gonna hurt you youre with your boYfriEnd. hes not whimpering. D for this list purposes but its fine

M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy to sleep (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy :) [ASMR] [SFW] [LittleSpace]) -- D for no whimpering or moaning. "aww. you havent regressed in a while? do you want to?" "oh i got you some Little stuff. you know for when you're in Little space. wait typing that out made me realize the little in the title was referring to that. anyway its fine this is what i imagine asmrs target audience is anyway

(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: CEO Dominates you (CEO X Listener) [Slight NSFW] (official title: [BAD BOY ASMR] Mafia Boss x Listener. After Shower With Your Yandere Boyfriend!?[Spicy]) -- "[...] cum founder" still slow at 2.5x speed but only 16 minutes long. C-. character work is schlocky stock romance but soo reserved. but i guess theres moaning.

(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: Sadistic Vampire Talks with you (Noble Vampire X Vampire Hunter Listener) [NSFW?] P.2 (official title: [DOM VAMPIRE ASMR] Vampire x Listener. Sadistic Kisses, Delicate Bites!?[Spicy]) -- C shallow world relying on slow brooding but can i just say the description on this one is wild. "- hold on bro is chowing down so ill bump it a lil. anyway "I hope I have the right audio. I haven't listened to the entire thing." bro?? am i the only one here wh

(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Forces Cuddles on the Bus (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.2 (original deleted?)-- B this dude is so fucking funny. "whatya listening to. probably some gay shit. *sharp nostril exhale* now be a good little nerd and give me your homework. your lunchmoney too. I WONDER HOW YOU ARE IN BED? YOURE PROBABLY FUCKING GREAT" YESSS. wet gooping sounds happening now with little discernable - oh we're cocksucking this guy ok alright. you put your gay earbuds in and start listening to music at the last 30 seconds. Wow.

Cum in 10 minutes -- F this is binaural beats shit and did NOT cum

Whispering Slurs Asmr -- F. heres an excerpt from the artist's bio: "As a performer, I do not actually agree with anything this anti-social character spews out of his mouth. I will need to be careful what I say because I could be feeding into people’s deeply ingrained prejudices and bigotry. I pray that I do not unintentionally enable a bunch of bad people who resent a changing world."

Taking Care of Your Drunk Boyfriend (unknown source)-- C+. bros whimpering and moaning when he Should be throwing up !!!

PART 3:

alrigt im starting this at 4 am hope i can get fhru this quick NOTE: i didnt

[HOT BULLY ASMR]Bully x Listener. Trapped Together And 7 Minutes In Heaven! [Delinquent,NSFW(?)] -- D. sharp smug mouth inhales after like every sentence. its your first time 🥺 going to someone else's place 😑. its really funny to do a "7 minutes in heaven" scenario with only two people alone in an apartment. "HOT BULLY"? not really bullying at all but apparently im "already biting my lip" so i guess im wrong.

Making Your Boyfriend BEG for it…[SPICY] Boyfriend ASMR [M4M] (official audio)-- B-. sleazy creep type narrator. saying im blueballing him by not fucking right now? holy shit, trying to talk me into not using protection because he doesnt want to get up and go buy more condoms?? toxic as fuck bro...

"Fuck Me Now." A Villain/Mastermind Kenma X Male NSFW (F and NB variants) -- B. there was an alternative female AND "NB" version and the script is mostly the same. "suck my dick while you ride my thigh" good idea! but um i dont think. that works.

(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Dominates you with Kisses (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.1 (original deleted?) -- B+ on technicality for no whimpering. bros actually getting vicious with this one. the part 2 was mostly goofy but. like. wow.

ASMR Audio Roleplay - You Challenge Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy] Pt 1 (official title: You're A Good Boy To Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy]) -- fuck the criteria. B-. the writing here is impressive. like dudes got natural conversation and character work down so well. and hes funny?? ok hes like a reddit edgelord shithead but hes got jokes. no moaning or whining though!

[M4M] [NSFW] Flirty Dragon Desires You [Part 2] -- can you please fucking speak up dragon i cant hear you over all the bugs. B its corny as fuck but bros moaning and maybe a hint of whimpering.

Subby boyfriend whimpers & begs for "attention" (Spicy boyfriend ASMR | Deep voice | M4A) -- he's whiompering and moaning and also fucking ANNOYING!!!!!!! C this guy Pisses me off. "im gonna cry if i dont get [your attention and pussy]" then CRY!!!!!!!!! "that makes me so squirmy" its all ok now tho bc hes in pain

[REUPLOAD] Daddy Detective NSFW M4M (OP deleted) -- ACAB. F. sadly i was hoping it was freelance.

ASMR [M4M] Your Bored Barista Tries To Kill Some Time With You -- F. bored? check. bro sings "im like a bird" in the quietest voice possible. lmao. no moaning or whining! but its fine

ASMR Audio Roleplay - [M4M] Locker Room Secrets ft. Liquid_Madnezz & cee_ [Kisses] [Spicy] [College] (excerpt?) -- A. POV: YOU'RE the bully?? obnoxious ass opening. also. whatever happened to the navy seals co[pypasta. POV: you crush mad pussy? this i think is the same guy as the dom friend one and dude kinda has writing chops because he paints such a pained but conflicted pairing. i empathize a lil with bro in this. theres whining in this but like, not the sex kind. and there IS moaning. lowkey toxic protagonist!

see u 2morrow for the next ten!

[bad268]

Truth or Hydrate (ElasticDroid X Streamer! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous 

Requested: Nope

Warnings:  Language (as always), alcohol, sexual jokes, chat calling reader a “pick me,” basically word for word of the video just in a different order.

Pronouns: None used (First person) but menstruating reader

W.C. 1916

Summary:  During the Truth or Hydrate stream, everyone gets a little too drunk, but it's all fun and games until someone's feelings get hurt.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Screen shot from a video idr which)

“What’s up gamers? How y’all doing today?” Droid started off as people began flooding into the stream. I was grabbing a couple of drinks from the fridge as the guys bantered back and forth before taking the spot on the ground between Droid and Grizzy. “Someone wanna explain bruh? It’s a lot.”

“Bitch, it’s your thing!” Grizzy laughed along with Puffer and Pezzy while rolled my eyes and cracked open a Mike’s. 

“Geez, we’re doing truth or drink,” Droid explained, going into deeper detail. Puffer, jokingly, started snoring, so Droid said, “Aye, quiet down in the back, yeah?”

“Chat says it's a slumber party,” I laughed, pointing out the one message I could see from my spot. 

“Guys, take your shoes off, stay awhile. Slumber party!” Pezzy joked, enthusiastically. “Are your feet stinky?”

“Mine aren’t, but I’d rather Droid keep his shoes on,” I pressed, pushing his feet away from me with a laugh as he tried to smell them. He put them toward Puffer to which he gagged before pushing Droid’s feet away. 

“I can smell them from here actually! Those actually smell,” Puffer complained. Droid tried to smell his feet again, and he made a face before putting his shoes on.

“You realized they stink?” I asked rhetorically, plugging my nose and leaning away.

“Don’t act like yours smell like roses,” He retorted, pushing his feet toward me.

“I showered today, so they smell like my soap, dumbass,” I cringed as I shoved his feet away. 

“Okay, what are we doing?” Pezzy asked.

“This is the dealio,” Droid started. “Truth or drink. If someone doesn’t want to answer a question, they have to take a shot.”

“Oh, this was meant to be hot sauce?” Grizzy asked, looking at the box.

“Yeah, wanna try it?” I asked, jokingly pulling out a mini Tabasco from my pocket and offering it to him.

“No,” Grizzy said skeptically.

“He’s a pussy, dude,” Pezzy stated.

“Y’all keep it at 89 fucking degrees in this house. You think I want hot sauce right now?” Grizzy emphasized.

“That’s all Pezzy, bruh,” Droid muttered.

“Bitch you were just freezing before the stream,” Grizzy pointed out, and Droid agreed before putting his hand on Grizzy’s arm. “WOAH!” Pezzy and Puffer grabbed his hand, feeling how cold it actually was, in shock. 

I held out my hand because I wanted to see as Pezzy asked, “Are you okay?”

Droid put his hand in mine as he responds with, “I am now.” I jokingly ripped my hand from his as chat exploded. 

“Okay, back on topic. Who are we asking the questions to?” I asked, taking another drink and leaning back to look up at Droid.

“It’s a group thing, so everybody in the room pretty much,” Droid responded, handing me the box to look it over. 

“Shit, we’re gonna need more alcohol,” Grizzy and I muttered.

“How many secrets y’all got, dog?” Droid asked in shock.

Puffer drew first, and his question was, “The most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done.”

“I shit my pants in a car ride home with my friends,” Grizzy said immediately. We all started talking over each other until Grizzy interrupted us, “I was like 8, bro!”

“I got one,” Puffer paused as Droid said that he knew it. “I fell in the San Antonio River.”

“OH! What the fuck?!” Droid shouted. All of us started laughing as Puffer told the story of the bike breaking and flinging him into the river. “There’s no ladder, so once you’re in, you’re in.”

“My dad took me to the track,” Droid started, going into a long story about how he shit himself immediately after arriving home. “I think I was just relieved to be home and I made it far enough.” 

“Jesus, mine’s not nearly that bad,” I laughed. “I bled through my pants at a guy’s house like a year ago,” I paused as they started laughing. “Dude really hit me with the ‘did you spill Hawaiian punch on my couch?’ and I have not talked to him since.”

“Fuck man, mine was when I was in school and I trusted a fart too much,” Pezzy began. “I had to call my mom and say I shit my pants.”

“Bro, why did all of you shit yourselves? Do y’all not have control of your bowels?” I laughed, taking a casual drink. 

“Shut the fuck up!” Droid, Grizzy, and Pezzy shouted into their microphones.

~ “How much do you make annually?” “Less than these bitches! The wage gap definitely exists!” I shouted.

“You won’t actually say it,” Puffer challenged.

“For 100 gifted, I will! I expect a good payout if I out myself like that,” I laughed.

~ “Who would you trade lives with?”

“Puffer?” Droid and Grizzy eyed him.

“Nah, I’m good. My answer is I’m good,” Puffer said fast. 

“I am at a crossroads here,” I laughed. “On one hand, I get paid more. However, I have a dick. I think that’s a deal breaker.”

“I wouldn’t mind being a girl,” Pezzy said, nonchalantly. 

“Have fun on your period, Pezzy. You’re a bitch when it comes to pain,” I checkled, taking another drink.

“Ah shit, nevermind,” He cringed.

~~

A few cards in, and a lot of drinks and shots later, the chat could tell we were feeling it. All of us were kind of letting all of the juicy details out.

“Who have you fantasized about in your life that you shouldn’t have? No celebrities allowed,” Pezzy read. 

“My sophomore year math teacher,” Grizzy said off the bat. “I forgot that motherfucker’s name, but I remember that ass like it was yesterday.”

“If I said someone in this room, I am not clarifying,” I laughed, downing my fourth Mike’s.

“WHAT?! We need details,” All of the guys shouted over each other.

“Maybe at a future card, but I am not drunk enough yet. Does that mean I should take a shot?” I asked, already pouring a shot without waiting for an answer and throwing it back. “Okay, what’s the next question?”

“What is your biggest online screwup,” Grizzy read off.

“This,” I laughed as I got up to make a new drink as I ran out of Mike's. As soon as I stood up, the room started spinning, so I immediately sat back down. “Holy shit, I am fucked. Can someone make me a Jack and Coke? This was the last Mike’s.” 

“I’ve got you,” Pezzy said as he was already getting up to get a new drink.

“Cool, I’m gonna pick a card while you do that,” I shouted to him, reaching over Droid’s legs to grab the deck.

“Woah, we got a magician over here,” Droid muttered after I flattened out the cards to pick one. I looked up at him, confused, before he said, “Take me to dinner first.”

“I have,” I pointed out, “multiple times. You’re just not giving.”

“Hey woah, no need to call me out like that!” He objected.

“She’s wined and dined you so many times. When are you going to fuck her?” Puffer joked.

“Exactly my point,” I muttered before grabbing everyone’s attention, “But, this is getting out of hand, moving on! Who is your hottest friend?”

“Y/N,” Grizzy and Droid said without hesitation. Everyone’s attention snapped to them as we all started talking over each other. 

“I think Droid,” I whispered into my microphone as I winked at the camera. 

“Who is the friskiest?” 

“I don’t know if I can or want to answer this,” Grizzy said as he took a shot.

“What was your most recent porn search?” Droid asked. Everyone started complaining, saying they were going to take a shot, but I pulled out my phone to check chat before pulling my microphone super close to my face.

“I walked in on Pezzy doing some shit,” I admitted. “That shit scared me for life.”

“When did you walk in on me, and when was I going to learn about that?” Pezzy shouted.

“Like a week ago, you asked for Whataburger, and I was bringing it to your room like a GOOD ROOMMATE!” I shouted toward him as I checked the chat. It was going too fast for me to actually read it while the guys kept pestering me to tell them what he was watching.

“Wait I got a question,” Droid brings the arguing to a stop, “Do any of you dabble in the hentai?”

Immediately, the boys responded with “Yes.”

My eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets as I cringed at all of them. “Y’all are fucking gross. Do y’all feel disgusting afterward because damn thats actually nasty.”

“I have gone so far down that rabbit hole, it is not even funny,” Pezzy admitted. 

“You are really feeling those drinks, huh” Grizzy laughed. 

“Yes, I am,” Pezzy responded definitively.

“We did not need to know you that personally, Pezzy,” I laughed, taking a shot.

“No wait, we’re not just gonna glaze over the fact that you didn’t answer,” Droid pointed out.

“What do you want me to say? I don’t watch porn,” I laughed defensively.

“Who doesn’t watch porn?” Puffer asked rhetorically.

“Me, duh,” I deadpanned as the boys kept arguing. I looked down at the chat and chat was loving the interactions. That is until the part where I said I admitted that I do not watch porn came on. Everyone transformed into calling me a ‘pick me,’ saying I was lying, or making sexual jokes about me being innocent in chat. Mods were not able to keep up as some were still coming through. I did not even notice that the guys had moved on to another question as I got up, swaying slightly, to leave the video. “Hey, I’m gonna head out. I’m hella drunk.”

“No, this is when it’ll get good,” Droid tried to persuade, but the last thing I wanted to do was sit here on stream. “Nah, I’m good. I’ve already ruined my reputation enough for the night,” I forced a laugh, moving toward the kitchen off camera. I put my glass in the sink and grabbed a water bottle before just sitting on the floor in the kitchen. I heard the guys talking quietly for a second before footsteps started approaching the kitchen. I looked up to see Droid standing over me before he took a seat next to me.

“What happened? Too much?” He asked.

“No, I can handle my alcohol,” I laughed. “Chat was saying shit, and I didn’t want to give them more ammo.”

“What were they saying?”

“Shit about how I’m a pick me for not watching porn or how I’m innocent or how I’m lying for attention. Nothing I haven’t seen or heard before, but I didn’t want to deal with it.”

“And you shouldn’t have to,” he said as he moved to put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. “I’m sorry chat’s bullying you.”

“Again, not like it isn’t something I see everyday,” I sighed, leaning into his shoulder. He turned his head to kiss the crown of my head. “And again, you shouldn’t have to. You were literally telling the truth,” He responded. After a moment of silence between us, minus the murmurs of the guys in the living room, Droid pulled away slightly, still keeping me in his arms. “Plus, why would you need porn? You have me.”

“And why do you need amateur porn?” I retorted, “You have me.”

“wHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Oh, Puffer didn’t know. Oops.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2023. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[dangermousie]

God, this is kinky as fuck.

She's the substitute - he only went after her because his first choice ran away. And she was definitely not planning to bang a bandit when she embarked on her trip. But you know what? They totally totally fit.

He genuinely sounds shocked. I mean, she was supposed to be the inferior substitute but he's clearly way more into her than he was into FL. Perhaps because she actually wants him! Like he clearly never saw any woman as a person so consent was irrelevant but I think he's about to discover it's way more fun if she wants you as much as you want her.

Like he starts stripping her AT THE SAME TIME SHE STARTS STRIPPING HIM.

Hahahahha smooth talking not your skill, dude! But I love his continuing shock at what a much better time he's having with the "substitute"...

Heh!

And she starts ripping off his shirt. I love her!!!

[mattheo-riddles-princess]

Okay ||JJ Maybank X RoutledgeReader

JealousJJ Maybank X RoutledgeReader

18+ Minors DNI

Plot: The one time Pogues and Kooks can get along. Until two hot-shot Pogues start causing problems.

Warnings: Jealousy, slightly toxic relationship, drinking, fighting, frustrated sex (angry, desperate, make-up), implied relationship, praising, dirty talk, language, pet names, teasing, fingering, pinv sex, no condom (wrap it before you tap it), overstimulation, oral (male and fem receiving) no mention of y/n Let me know if I missed anything

AN: I am so sorry for the amount of world building. I absolutely love working characters into scenes and tend to spend too much time doing that.

Co-Written with @buckybarnesbbydoll

There was something intoxicating about parties at the Boneyard. The way that this was the only place everyone on the island seemed to get along. The only time the kids from Figure 8 can tolerate us from The Cut. And then there is the Tourons. My brother calls them "Chum for the sharks." Which, I guess, is kinda true.

"Hey, sis," I whip my head around as John B. jogs over to where I am currently flirting with some random touron. Chum for the sharks, right?

He hands me a red cup and starts talking as I take a drink. "Dude, this party is fucking awesome."

I chuckle. He is clearly shitfaced, "It really is. How many beers have you had?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm just having fun. BUT," he speaks louder than I think he actually meant to, "go back to flirting with this guy-what's you name?"

The guy I've been talking to looks confused and it occurs to me that I can't actually remember his name. He stares blankly before my brother waves his hand, "Luk-"

"LUKE!" JB nudges me, smirking, before walking away. I sit back down and take a sip of beer before turning back to Luke.

The sun set about 20 minutes ago. Bonfire started long before but now they are the only form of light on the beach. I stopped talking to Luke an hour ago and have since been flirting with all the guys. Especially the Kooks.

I know I'm driving my boyfriend crazy by flirting and I can feel his eyes burning into me as I saunter around.

Everything is normal until I hear a commotion and gasps from partygoers.

I turn just as I see Topper punch my brother, knocking him to the ground.

"Hey, John B, don't make me drown you like your old man, all right?"

I can feel my hands tighten into a fist and, without thinking, walk to where the fight is happening. JJ must have seen me because he rips away from Pope, who was trying to calm him down, and grabs me from behind.

"Baby," he whispers in my ear and I struggle to break out of his arms. "Babe, calm down. Let him deal with it."

I continue to struggle as JB gets up and tackles Topper. Sarah and Kie are both yelling for them to stop. By now, JJ lets go and starts cheering JB on. "That's what I'm talkin' about!"

I watch as they throw punches until Topper flips JB and starts pushing his head underwater.

I freeze as I watch some fucking Kook try to drown my brother. I can feel Pope stare at me, watching to see what I'm going to do. I start to lunge towards them and Pope grabs my arm, keeping me back.

What the fuck is it with people holding me back?

I am fighting to get away from Pope when I see JJ put something to Toppers head. Fuck. The gun we found earlier.

JJ speaks so quiet that he can barely be heard above the cheering, "Yeah, you know what that is. Your move, broski."

Pope finally lets go of me and everyone is shouting trying to get off the beach and away from my psycho boyfriend.

There is more shouting and arguing between the group before JJ yells, "Okay, everyone, listen up? Get the hell, off our side of the island." He fires the gun into the sky.

There is a pause before we all start yelling and pushing and arguing.

"What the actual FUCK, JJ." I'm yelling at the top of my lungs.

The rest of the Pogues have walked to help get JB and bring him back to the Chateau.

"Do you know how fucking stupid that was? Like, honestly? How shitfaced drunk and high do you have to be?"

"Really? You're yelling at me for protecting my best friend-your brother? AND you were the one flirting with guys literally ALL FUCKING NIGHT," he's angry, and desperate, and drunk, and high, and all the things that make it hard for me to be mad at him.

"I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry that we have to hide our fucking relationship from my brother. I'm sorry that I flirted with guys in front of you. I'm sorry that I'm drunk enough the try to fight Topper for trying to kill my brother. I'm sorry that we're fighting because I don't want to argue with you; I'm just so fucking frustrated."

He stares at me, unblinkingly, as I rant.

"AND to top it all off, you look so fucking hot right now and all I want to do is run my fingers through your hair while having the best fucking make-up sex of our entire relationship."

I look down realizing I'm somehow I'm close to tears. Maybe it's the alcohol maybe it's the fight with JJ, maybe it's both. I don't know. All I know is that I'm crying, in front of my boyfriend, after telling him I want to have sex.

He still hasn't said a word and I'm starting to wonder if he is planning on telling me to go home because I'm drunk or some dumb shit. I don't look up until I feel him wrapping his arms around my back.

"Fuck, baby. I can't be mad at you when you go say shit like that," JJ speaks in a low tone, his voice hoarse.

We barely make it back to the Chateau before our clothes are on the floor of my room.

JJ unzips the back of my dress, his lips never leaving mine. His kiss is possessive and angry.

"Do you know how much I wanted to fucking kill every guy you flirted with? You're fucking mine. Got it?"

I rip his shirt off of him and run my hands over his abs.

He grabs me by my ass and I wrap my legs around his waist as he pushes me against a wall. His head moves to my neck, kissing and sucking his way down to my left breast. He stops as he reaches my bra.

I lean into him and his hand slips behind me to unhook it. He pulls it off of me and his lips are locked back on mine before I hear it reach the floor.

He starts grinding his hips against me and I moan into his kiss, starving for more. His kisses trail back down my collar.

"JJ," I whisper.

"Mmh?"

I drop my legs and he stares at me. I smirk, "I'm going to show you what happens when you do stupid shit. Got it," he nods. "Good. Now," I drop down to my knees and starts unzipping his pants. I pull his boxers and jeans off in one motion. His hard cock sits inches from me. I stare up at him as I wrap my hand around his dick. I pump up and down for a few moments before licking the tip of it with my tongue. He moans deeply and throws his head back.

I move my mouth up and down and play with his balls in my hand. I can tell he is getting close by the way his deep moans turn into moans of desperation. Desperate to cum, to be inside me, to cum inside me.

Without warning, he pulls me back up and kisses me deeply. We walk to my bed and he pushes me back on it. He towers over me.

"You're not the only one who is fucking pissed. I'm going to fuck you so good, the Kooks are going to hear you screaming my name."

And with that, he lines his cock up with my slick folds. I whimper as he pushes himself into me. We do this all the time and I still don't get used to it.

He roughly thrusts into me, kissing me deeply. I moan into his mouth as he thrust into me harder and faster.

"Fuck, baby you like the way I fuck you" JJ says. I can only moan in response, as I feel myself getting close to coming undone. "Fuck- is my pretty girl gonna cum for me?" JJ mocks.

I whimper, "please JJ" I say begging for that sweet release.

"Yea sweetheart, beg for me- fuck".

"Please,please,please" I beg as I come feeling my walls clench down on his girthy cock.

"There ya go love, fuck good girl" he praises me as I come down from my high.

He ruta into me a few more times before I feel him unload inside of me. We lay there panting for a moment before he pulls out of me and moves his head in-between my legs.

He pushes two fingers into me. I'm still coming down from my last orgasm and I buck my hips in response. Apparently that was all he needed because his tongue found my clit.

"Oh, fuck, JJ. Holy shit."

He chuckles as he suckles my clit. It doesn't take very long before I cum again. He licks my pussy until he gets every drop.

He comes back up and kisses me deeper than any other kiss.

"Fuck."

"Does that mean that you're not mad at me anymore?" JJ's voice is soft.

"I love you, JJ."

"I love you too."

[lagtrained]

hi everyone i am not refollowing the stp tag until i 100% the new achievements and stuff again BUT. i finished a whole playthrough at like 4 pm today. oh my god. OOOOOOOOGH i have thoughts. SPOILERS BELOW CUT

THE FUCKING. PRINCESS AND THE DRAGON CHAPTER. OH MY GOD. i havw so many thoughts and feeling and just. holy SHIT that fucking chapter. im pretty sure thats the first instance of actually seeing what tlq looks like not in complete darkness and MY GOD my jaw dropped the moment i saw that. my first thought was just "he is so big and also looks fluffy but in a scary way why is he Like That" in he best way possible and just. its so expressive even with like only three (or four?) different "expressions" (aka different eyes except for opprtunist bc hes just different like that or something i guess). and dont even get me STARTED on the segway into the chapter and the chaoticness and confusion of it, that was the first chapter three of my playthrough so it was a VERY strong start.

also. happily ever after. GOD. HAPPILY EVER AFTER. i wanted to cry the entire time because like. she was so. :(. i could FEEL the anxiety and panic and just. MAN. people pleasers rise up (starts sobbing) and and and. fucking. smitten. GOD. pristine cut is really just the "hey look its the voices in your head! here they are!" update in disguise /j but anyways. he very much added to the huge feeling of anxiety, and i forgot what i did but at first i didnt see any of the voices just talking about the Suspiciously Bird Shaped Shadow on the wall until like halfway through the chapter where paranoid was like "hey guys i found the missing voice why is he a shadow". and once again. the leadup to the chapter was. jarring. to say the least. at first i thought broken was there just because pf the change in tone but after still seeing "voice of the smitten" i was. very worried. and then i was even more worried in the next two minutes when this guy ripped his fucking chest open with his bare hands. like. my god dude. just say you love her smh /j but yea no that was fucking awesome

i have a lot of thoughts and i definitely need to reply the cage (mostly bc i was super lightheaded during my playthrough) but GOD i was. once again. very disgusted and horrified /pos 10/10 would be beheaded by a headless princess and also drive one of the voices in my head insane again

as for the chapter expansions i definitely need to explore them more (since i did one playthrough and then got sidetracked as soon as i unlocked the memories menu) but i did play one route of both apotheosis and fury and both of them are absolutely amazing (shoutout to voice of the stubborn for giving me another razor-esque montage very much enjoyed it), and i ended up only doing a little bit of the den but even so i still REALLY liked it (also because den was always one of the chapters i was super interested in)

and also figuring out how to get the new ending was very fun!!!!!!!! i saw the red text once because of my apotheosis route and i was like "what. what do you mean shifting mound. what do you mean by that." when she mentioned starting to understand, then spent like 10 minutes in both the normal cabin and stranger cabin looking for the ending, and then i was like "whar if i Killed Her"

overall. my god. im so happy. seritonin STIMULATED mental illness CURED (and then recaused by happily ever after)

[denkilightning]

Why is Jay a mom to Lloyd and not a dad, he's more paternal imo

oh this is a very very fun question

short answer: jay draws parallels with edna libber and misako in the most actually maternal scenes + exploration of aspects of womanhood from a transmasc perspective, which is a very very nuanced conversation + the effect it has on jay

long answer:

soooo personally im a big freak when it comes to anything female-gender-role related mixed with transmasculinity which is crucial in my interpretation of jay

ive talked previously about jay paralleling their mothers so lets go over it quickly

1. edna - the rollerskates episode in s4 where jay explicitly states that he was in a tournament with edna and they won, which is exactly what he does with lloyd later in the episode

2. misako - in the second to last episode of s2 when lloyds had his ass handed to him by the overlord he mimics misakos actions beat for beat

3. libber - all we actually know about her is her relation to jay and cliff and through a lot of overthinking ive come to believe that she parallels jays relationship with lloyd and nya greatly, especially with leaving jay never to be seen again kinda like jay does in dr

jays relationship with lloyd is set up very differently than the other ninja - hes the one to actually carry him onto the bounty; when lloyd begun his training as the green ninja, he had the recreation/leisure time with jay, meaning the few moments of the day where he could unpack emotions and unwind leaving jay way more in tune with lloyds emotions which we've seen plenty examples of (also paralleling misako);

(here jays the first to notice and ask whats wrong)

the way hes willing to give up both his and everyone elses lives for lloyd

(here hes willing to give up his last wish - the thing hes been tortured for weeks for just to save lloyd)

i cant add any more pictures here but heres the example of it!! jay ripped lloyd away from cole so he wouldnt get corrupted, later he pushed lloyd away to take the hit

and episode prior hes shown having a literal panic attack over lloyd fighting the overlord

and most importantly - ✨ THE LOSS OF PERSONHOOD THAT COMES WITH BEING A MOTHER ✨

that is something i want to explore so so so much and jay seems like a perfect opportunity, along with other mothers of ninjago.

(also why i think its such a fun concept to bring morro back, since theyre so similar and its the team that saved jay from morros path, having your narrative twin hit you with a 'fucking hell youre losing yourself dude' hits so much harder imo)

tldr: i think it parallels the mothers weve seen in ninjago + it fits my own personal experiences+issues i have currently and themes i want to explore!!

and diclaimer: you have every right in the world to have your own interpretation of these characters and their relationships, this is simply the way i read the text and narrative weve been given :))

[bow-of-aros]

Day Seven: Fidget

Summary: Ted is just trying to have a nice, relaxing afternoon. It would really help if Peter could stop with all the fucking twitching.

-

Hey guys! To make up for yesterday's half-awake fic, I present you with the Spankoffski brothers! This got really wholesome and honestly I'm super happy with it. They're so much fun to write and I hope that y'all enjoy <33

-

“Dude stop fucking twitching you’re scaring the hoes.”

The look of complete and utter disbelief that Peter shot his older brother would’ve been pretty damn funny if Ted wasn’t about five seconds away from actually ripping his ears clean off his face.

“First of all, there aren’t any fucking hoes here outside of you, Ted. We’re at home. Second of all, I’m not twitching, I’m fidgeting. And yes—” The kid cuts Ted a scathing look and he snaps his jaw shut with a smirk, “There’s a difference.”

Ted just shrugs and leans back into the couch, “I don’t give a shit. Twitching, fidgeting, it’s all equally a pain in the ass. Can’t you like sit on your hands on something?”

Click click click.

The rhythmic sound of Peter’s fingers snapping together severely undermined his,

“I don’t need to sit on my hands, asshole! I just have some nervous energy that I’m getting out. There’s nothing to fucking do in your shithole apartment.”

He then very pointedly Ted’s patented Are you fucking kidding me look, one that’s been passed down through generations of Spankoffski’s and perfected after years of practice.

Oh, he is not going to let that one stand.

“Don’t forget that this is our shithole apartment now! I didn’t hear you complaining about it when you showed up in the pouring fucking rain asking to move in.”

“So what? You gonna kick me out?”

“And what? Send you back to our bigoted-ass parents and your frilly fucking princess room? Fuck no. You’re stuck with me and this shithole apartment, the least you could do is show it some respect.”

Ted reaches for the remote and turns up the volume on whatever brain cell-killing show they’ve had playing in the background for the past however long. It’s his turn to ignore the look his brother gives him, although this one is more vaguely confused than outright menacing.

The silence drags out a little longer, and Ted almost jolts when Peter speaks up,

“Thank you apartment for not having a speck of pink on your walls and smelling perpetually like rotten food. I appreciate you.”

Oh, that fucking dweeb.

Apparently, Peter’s not done, “Thank you for your thermostat that only works half the time and for the fact that the only annoying voice I hear is my brother’s, which mostly doesn’t make me want to throw myself out the nearest window like my parents did.”

Ted has developed a keen sense of when serious emotions might be coming into play. Mostly it’s so he can get the fuck out of dodge, fast.

This is straying a little too close to that.

“Alright alright. You can shut the fuck up now, Petey. I get it!”

“Petey?”

Oh goddammit.

He’s about to take it back, throw out some half-hearted insult that will distract both of them for long enough that Ted can make his escape.

But then, he glances over at his little brother who almost looks like he has stars in his eyes he’s so fucking happy. Ted’s not sure he remembers the last time he really smiled like that, and like hell he was going to do anything to fuck it up.

“It’s your name, isn’t it? And what part of shut the fuck up didn’t register in your little genius brain, huh?”

There, that’s a good balance of minimally heartfelt and asshole older brother.

Click click click.

“Oh, come on!” Ted throws his head back as Peter tucks his hands sheepishly under his legs, “Again with the snapping?”

“I can’t help it!” Peter snaps back defensively, “I have—”

“Nervous energy. Yeah. I know.”

And then it was like a lightbulb flickered on above Ted’s head.

“You know. I can be pretty good at getting rid of nervous energy.”

He tries to tone down the grin that’s creeping across his face. Ted knows it’s there, not because he’s consciously smiling, but because Peter is growing more concerned by the second and he doesn’t want to scare the kid off just yet.

“Ted, I swear to fucking God if this is one of your gross sex things I will—”

“It is not a gross sex thing! Jeez kid, get your mind out of the gutter.”

Peter snorts and rolls his eyes, but settles back down which is exactly what Ted needs right now.

Neither of them says anything for a few seconds, and Ted is in the middle of wondering how high Peter’s eyebrows can rise before they start floating above his forehead when he finally caves,

“Fine! How do you get rid of nervous energy?”

He’s pretty sure that he can hear a muttered dipshit after that last bit, but he’s gonna let it slide in order to get down to business.

“I thought you’d never ask! Now, try not to scream.”

“Wha—TED! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!”

This fucking kid, “What did I say about not screaming? Now, hold still!”

Alright, where was that one spot again?

“TEHEHEHED! Nononono shit! Plehehehehease I cahahahan’t!”

Bingo!

“Hey, don’t get down on yourself like that!” Ted leans forward, shit-eating grin front and center on his face as he puts all of his focus into tickling all the nervous energy out of little Petey, “You totally can! Just check this out!”

And, before Peter can stop him, Ted manages to worm his hands under his arms and drill into the sensitive muscle there.

“You motherfuhuhuhuhuhuhucker! Get out of thehehehehere please!”

Looking down, Peter’s face is growing redder by the moment, and is sporting a grin that puts the damn sun to shame. Ted’s enough of a man to admit that the sight of his brother looking so happy melts his heart just a little bit.

That doesn’t mean he’s not gonna be a dick about it.

“Oh, what? Here? Get out of right here?” Ted does lighten his touch a bit when he sees a few tears leak out. He’s not a complete monster!

The panicked giggles that are now leaking out are almost adorable.

So is the begging.

“Yes! Plehehehease Ted! Come ohohohohon!”

“Do you have any more nervous energy?”

“Nohohoho!”

“Are you sure? Because I really don’t mind helping you out. Get you less fidgety and all that.”

“I’m sure! I’m suhuhuhure! Teddy please!”

And, well, how can he say no to that?

Ted leverages himself off of Peter, dragging the kid up with him so they’re leaning against each other as they settle back into relatively seated positions.

They don’t say anything, just watch the show that keeps droning on, but eventually, Ted feels Peter’s head drop onto his shoulder. He shifts a bit to make sure they’re both comfortable before wrapping an arm around his brother’s shoulders.

Just as he thinks Peter’s fallen asleep, he hears a whispered, “Love you, Teddy.”

Fuck. He really would do anything for this kid.

“Love you too, Petey.” Ted rests his cheek atop Peter’s head.

“Even if you do kind of need a shower.”