#but there’s no part I enjoy more than the other. they’re all the same amount of work to me and then I get it done and move on to the next

[bixels]

Hey, I’m a big fan of your work. I was just wondering, What’s your favourite part about art?

No favorite part. The whole process sucks from start to end. It just sucks more if I don’t do it at all.

[libraincarnate]

🦋 astrology notes: 14 🦋

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some of my observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!

ꕤ venus-mars aspects: people with this aspect may feel good/beautiful when moving their body. they could really enjoy sex, stretching, exercising, playing sports, dancing, etc. could be into getting massages, doing their skin/hair care routine, eating healthy & more cause overall, they’re taking care of their body/themselves and they’re into that. there’s a desire to connect with their body and actually listen to what it wants and/or needs. they want to feel good and look good & they probably have a nice body too.

ꕤ neptune-uranus aspects: can indicate a wild sleeper. the type to shift the blankets from one end of the bed to the other, waking up with their pillow in weird positions or they themselves are hanging off the side of the bed. could accidentally hit people while they’re asleep if they share a bed with someone. may have strange dreams, possibly spiritual/prophetic ones too.

ꕤ libra venus: they want an equal relationship with equal effort. if they have kids with someone, they expect that person to be as involved as they are when it comes to parenting. it's a partnership so no one should be doing more than the other, it should be *balanced*. they absolutely know how to make a person feel loved, adored, and appreciated. they can be quite lovey-dovey & they also want to be doted on too. they want someone who makes them feel comfortable enough to not have to look or act perfect all the time. they want their partner to see their beauty on the outside & the inside too. even if it's not fun to admit, they know they’re not truly perfect and they want someone who will accept the parts of them that aren’t beautiful, the parts they're insecure of. yes they love compliments but genuine ones from their lover that aren’t always about their appearance are meaningful and cherished.

these people are so caring. this is a sweetheart placement. with that being said they expect their partner to be nice to them 98% of the time. this doesn’t mean you can’t tease them or make jokes, but just don’t overdo it or be rude. so this doesn’t necessarily mean that they want an extremely nice or gentle bf/gf, but rather someone who’s never truly mean to them and shows them the same amount of love, respct, & consideration.

ꕤ virgo lilith/rising/venus & lilith in the 2nd house: may feel ugly or uncomfortable wearing heavy makeup. they’re so used to being natural that they feel as if they look too different wearing lots of makeup or even a little. could feel as though it emphasizes their features in a way that they don’t like because it comes off too strong. they’re just used to & prefer that natural look, but they may prefer light/subtle makeup, like that “no makeup” makeup look.

ꕤ if you feel like you don’t relate to certain placements in your natal chart, check the persona chart of that planet and look for that same planet within that persona chart. you may find that you can relate to it a bit more or it can reveal something else about that part of you/your life, maybe help you connect the dots.

for example, if you feel like your venus placement in your natal chart doesn’t really apply to you, check your venus placement in your venus persona chart. or if it’s your moon then look for the placement of the moon in your moon persona chart.

ꕤ the placement of sagittarius in your chart can show you where you might be afraid to commit: 

in the 4th house - could be afraid to start a family of your own because of how much your children/family would depend on you and because of how much you’d be responsible for another person.

in the 7th house - could be afraid to commit to long term relationships that may lead to marriage because you view it as something spiritually and/or legally binding (to an extent), and the idea of that sounds restrictive or "too permanent" & daunting, even if you're in love, so you may self-sabotage. your lack of commitment here might also be because you don't feel comfortable trusting others/being vulnerable. plus, sag is an honest sign that cares about integrity so if they make a vow they won't want to dishonor it. but then there's the possibilty/fear of being trapped in a miserable or lifeless marriage, or being unable to leave without conflict or upsetting consequences.

in the 6th house - could run from your daily responsibilities/routine if it lacks variety. can be afraid to commit to jobs that may have the potential to become mundane & monotonous, jobs that don't have many opportunities or room for growth and advancement.

ꕤ saturn in the 9th house: may not enjoy going to church, if you we’re born into a religious family this could have been an issue for you, perhaps you have a religious father that is strict and religion may have been a persistent theme that brought about conflict.

ꕤ aries moon: when they’re pissed off you’ll know because they’ll express it verbally and/or physically (this doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll put their hands on you). out of all the different emotions, they probably feel anger the strongest. they’re not the type to hide their emotions like capricorn moons and that’s probably because they usually can’t no matter how much they want to or try to.  

they are direct & unafraid of confrontation, but if they tell you that you hurt them then they care about you because that’s not something they’ll easily and openly admit. they’re loyal so they take it to heart when someone they love/trust wrongs them. if that person doesn’t have a good reason then they’re most likely cut off because aries now sees them as disloyal & untrustworthy.

aries likes to be in control, but with the moon here they can struggle to have control over their emotions because they feel things so forecully, not being in control only makes them more irritated, and they can be quite irritable. 

ꕤ sun in the 7th house (synastry): it can create such a strong bond that it feels like they are your soulmate. it could be hard to separate from each other because it feels like you guys are meant to be. they’re someone you want to share your life with. life is better with them. things can feel gloomy when there are problems between you two or when they’re not around & so this can also be a clingy placement. but that’s probably because they make you feel warm, safe, and overall they’re just one of your favorite people. 

ꕤ leo mercury / leo in the 3rd house: they’re quite descriptive & they incorporate lots of figurative language in their everyday speech whether it be personification, exaggeration, or similes/metaphors. with that being said they can be funny and make good story tellers. they draw people in with the way they speak and keep them interested. could be good at voice acting and imitating the voice of another such as singers or actors. these individuals have some bright ideas & they could probably write great books too.

ꕤ lilith in the 6th house: i’ve mentioned that taurus in the 6th house can have messy traits but lilith in the 6th house takes the cake imo. like they can be straight up dirty, sorry not sorry. the types to not clean up after themselves. they’re not afraid to get their hands dirty and i mean that literally. like no gloves needed ever lol & then they’ll “clean” their hands by running it under water for 2 seconds. also the types to not follow the rules or the steps of doing something. they do things their way or in a way that’s uncommon/different but they can also remain calm and focused in chaotic & unorganized environments.

ꕤ sun in the 4th: these people would make really good house wives or stay at home moms. they’re just good at being domestic and naturally good at running a household. they’re the glue to the family. i know the 4th house isn’t related to marriage/romantic relationships but to me, women with this placement exude the traits of the perfect/noble wife described in Proverbs 31:10-31. 

or if a guy has a capricorn sun here for example, he may be an absolute family man. someone reliable and a true provider who is dedicated, involved, and loyal to his family.

overall these people can be very family-oriented.

ꕤ chiron in the 5th house: you have a bold/bright personality that makes you stand out. when you’re expressing yourself or simply being yourself, you might get negative reactions and unkind comments from others which causes you to shrink back and hide that awesome personality of yours. you feel insecure about being yourself & so you may also have self-esteem issues. but that confidence is definitely within you, it's innate.

those reactions/comments probably come from people who are unhappy, not comfortable with themselves, or they're jealous & they wish could get the attention that you receive without trying. but that’s not your fault so keep being you!

these natives could also be the type to come off as quiet/shy but they aren’t. they’re actually fun, creative, talented, and a joy to be around, but they struggle to see that for themselves. 

ꕤ gemini or pisces rising / in the 1st house - especially if you also have a gemini/pisces moon or your chart ruler (mercury/neptune) is in the 5th house of fun, games/toys, & creativity:

* this is so long i'm so sorry *

i feel like these natives had lots of dolls, toys, and/or stuffed animals growing up. they probably always had at least one throughout their life and they still do even if they’re now older, mature, or no longer play with them because gem and pisces both have this playful, fun, & childlike energy.

the rising & 1st house is heavily focused on how you project/express yourself and who you are, both your inner & outer self. so regardless of age or maturity, these traits typically remain present in gem/pisces because it’s just a big part of their identity. & the moon is how we experience, process, and express our emotions. so for some, it becomes less of a toy and more of a sentimental item, something they’re emotionally attached to.

with gemini & pisces, it’s like they are here but they’re not lol they’re physically present but mentally elsewhere in some other world of their own. they’re the types to entertain themselves in their minds.

gem is ruled by mercury so they’re always in their head talking to themselves, thinking of anything & everything whether it be funny, brilliant, bizarre, or ingenious. they get lost in their thoughts. but we do the same with toys, we talk to them as if they were real or could respond, we create these conversations and social interactions, we give them a voice, “making” them say the most silly, funny, and crazy things. 

pisces is ruled by neptune and so they’re creative and always in their head day dreaming of different scenarios, people/characters, and possibilities. they get lost in their imagination. and with toys, we become both actors & directors, assigning different roles/characters to different dolls and stuffed animals, but also to ourselves. we set the scene, dress them up, do their makeup, and “make” them act out whatever we imagine. 

& when you think about dolls/toys/stuffed animals and the way that they’re typically played with, you think of personification or a sense of bringing to life/animation, imagination, children, entertainment, pretending, creativity, etc. plus, the whole concept is kind of bizarre if you think about it lol

this made me look up barbie’s chart because she’s one of the most popular dolls/toys and it’s so funny how she’s a gemini rising & pisces sun/moon.

if you read this until the end, i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.

[pit-and-the-pen]

Azriel NSFW alphabet

Literally just Azriel brain rot. Buckle in

NSFW below the cut (18+ minors don’t interact)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I’m a firm believer that this man is the biggest cuddler after sex. He will fully wrap you in his arms and wings and just hold you close to him. He’ll give you sweet kisses on your forehead and the top of your head, humming as he does.

If anything is particularly rough (Which I am a firm believer in dom Azriel) he’ll draw you a bath and smooth out any sore muscles with his hands.

Basically this dude knows what it’s like to be left alone and would rather die than make you feel like that after being intimate

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On him, like any good Iilyrian baby, it’s his wings. Besides the normal ego the wings normally come with, he’s able to look at them and see all the good they’ve done. Proof of how far he’s come in life. He’d learn how to fly, become one of the top Iilyrian warriors and had an amazing family. Looking at his wings, the same wings he shares with his brothers, he can’t help but feel his pride stir.

On you, everyone always goes back and forth on boobs or ass but are missing the best option. Thighs. Azriel adores your thighs. Something about the soft feeling of them under his hands instantly comforts him. And not only in a sexual way (although he has pushed your thighs tighter around his head on multiple occasions) but comforting like a cat kneading on a blanket. He loves using them as a pillow, you playing with his hair as you talk about your different days or you both reading a book. He loves your thighs no matter the size, the stretch marks, he loves every inch of them

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I feel like all the fae males cum a ton. Probably left over from centuries of breeding being the most important thing, but Azriel takes the cake. For sake of not having to find something to clean up the sheer amount, he’s almost always coming inside of you. And even then it’s still enough that it runs out of you, something that normally is enough to make you both want round two.

I also feel like if he’s in one of his more dominant moods that once he does cum inside you he’ll use his finger to push it back in, mouth parted as he sees just the sheer amount that pools onto the sheets

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I feel like you and Azriel would be pretty open with each other. He doesn’t want to hide things from you and he wouldn’t want you too either

That being said, I do think he likes you being dominant more than he would ever let you know. The way the tone of your voice drops slightly, the way you tease him is enough to drive him crazy. You always seem to know when he needs it too. There's not one particular thing he could point out to say he loved but you doming him is something he enjoys a lot when it happens.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

This man is quiet but that doesn’t mean that he hasn’t had plenty of experience. I mean, look at this man. Tell me you wouldn’t have to fight off both males and females when the mating bond first snapped. This man fully knows what he’s doing and I firmly believe his spymaster skills make him perfect at learning exactly what you need to make you into a complete whining mess.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves when you ride him. Something about feeling your thighs spread out on top of him and having full access to your chest and throat just does something for him.

I also live and die by Azriel having a breeding kink so I think he would love having you in a mating press. Your legs perched up on his shoulders as he presses so deep into you you can’t do anything but scream his name. He would still be free to pepper kisses all over your neck and face and he can feel how deep his cum is pumped into you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

He is pretty serious overall. It’s that dom persona but sometimes when you try a new position or play and something twists the way it's not supposed to or your bodies just make the noises bodies do, you’re both laughing and giggling. On slower nights you two can make jokes but overall it’s pretty serious because the love you two have for each other runs so deeply.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think he keeps it trimmed. He defo has a happy trail that you love to kiss down. But he doesn’t really care about what’s going on down there, especially when it comes to you. As long as he can get between your legs, he doesn’t care how much or how little hair you have. And I think his hair is a little lighter but not by much.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Azriel can be tooth rotting sweet when he wants to be. I’m talking rose petals and candles, full body massage. He would pull out all the stops when it comes to spoiling you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he’s away on missions he would try. Some errant thought of you would cross his mind and since he has a hard time sleeping on missions, he would try to rub one out but it never feels the same so he doesn’t really bother with it. He has you and you’re more than happy to help him whenever he has one of his random moments of need rushing through him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Restrains- He loves holding your wrists down, whether it’s with his own hands wrapped around your wrists pinned above you heads, or his shadows holding down all of your limbs as he absolutely worships your body, something about seeing you desperately trying to reach out and touch him makes him go feral.

Wing Play- At first you both were very tentative for you to touch his wings. He’s so proud of them and despite the fact that you’re mates, it felt too intimate. But after much begging on his part, you finally did and gods. His usual perfect timing was fully broken the first time. He came in his pants like a teenager and spent the rest of the night absolutely worshiping you. From then on, if you ever wanted to have him on his knees, you would just run a nail softly along the membranes and he would be a whimpering mess for you.

Brat Tamer- This male would love it when you talk back to him. The way you would puff up your chest, staring up at him trying your best to be intimidating. He would just coo at you and whisper something about keeping up that attitude later in the bedroom. And of course the moment the door closed to your shared bedroom, you would be apologizing for your words. Maybe if he’s feeling nice, he’ll let you off but if he’s not. You would definitely be limping around the next day.

Breeding kink- He would love to fill you up. As much as he adores seeing his cum on various parts of your body. Theres nothing he loves more than seeing it drip out of you, fucking it back into you with his fingers or his tongue.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He prefers your bedroom truthfully. The two of you have made it so comfortable, bits and pieces of the both of you filled the space. The way your smell mixed with his lingers around puts him instantly at ease.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

For real, you could just look at this man and he would be hard as a rock. Seeing you sparing with Cassian would also be a sure fire way to get him going. Or if you are trying to get him really riled up, placing your hand on someones arm as you’re talking to them would have him literally picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder to remind you exactly who you belong to.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No temperature play of any kind, no ice or fire. Fire/wax for obvious reasons but cold/ ice because it reminds him of the winters at the war camp and those memories are not something he wants to imagine when he’s having sex.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

This man will eat you out like he has been stranded in the desert for a hundred years. He cannot get enough of you. He’ll hold down your hips, shadows holding your arms down. Absolute filthy noises would be spilling out of his mouth as he lapped you up. You would literally have to pull him away by his hair and his face would be covered in your arousal. He could go down on you for hours if you would let him and he would still probably whine as you pulled him away.

That being said, this man does love a good blow job. I think he would have two moods. One where he’s just letting you explore, tongue lapping at him and he’d let you set your own pace. Just taking everything you would give him. Now. On nights where you have done nothing but tease him. Strap in because this man will (consensually) push you down to your knees with your hands tied behind you back and use your throat like it was a damn fleshlight. He would keep going until spit was trailing down your chin, eyes glassy with tears. When he finally did cum he would make you hold it on your tongue before telling you to swallow, sticking out your tongue afterwards to show him that you were a good girl and listened to him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

This man is the best of both worlds. Depending on both of your moods it can be soft and slow or wall shakingly rough. Sometimes he’ll being going slow and you’ll push his hips to make him pound into you and the little bit of control he’ll have snaps and before you know it, he’s flipping you over and fucking you hard enough to have you seeing stars. But on nights when both of you need to show your love to each other, he’s simply just grinding into you. Hitting that perfect spot inside of you and I love you’s are spilling past both of your lips unhurried.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s not totally against them. When the mating bond first snapped all you had to do was look at him the right way and he was taking you against the nearest surface. More than once during trips to the court of nightmares you two were found tucked away into corners, both in various states of undress. His shadows were particularly helpful during these moments because he could wrap you in them and make sure no one saw that the front of your dress was pulled down or how your skirt was hiked up to your waist. But for the most part, he likes taking his time with you. He wants the time to take you apart piece by piece and have you screaming and shaking beneath him.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

SJM told us this man was a freak and I firmly believe it. There’s very few things that he isn’t willing to try at least once. If he thinks it will make you happy then he’s game.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This man could go all night if you would let him. Your stamina would give out long before he would. And he’s almost always making sure that you get off at least once but we all know there would be many many more before he would even think about his own release.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I have no idea what toys exist in this world but lets pretend the ones that exist in Crescent City are available. I think he would for sure have a vibrator. More than once he has had you tied up in your bed, vibrator strapped to your thigh and just stood at the other end of the room. You would be half delirious with the amount of orgasms the toy had pulled from you before he turned it off with a smirk at how totally fucked out you were.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

This man is the biggest tease. He knows how much you love his muscles so he would just walk around the house shirtless. Commenting on how your eyes followed him like he was a snack you wanted to devour. He would tease you for that glazed look in your eyes and how your pupils would dilate. If anyone was ever around when this happened you would blush as he slowly raised a hand to shut your slightly open jaw. Laughing softly as everyone else started to slowly leave the room because they knew what was about to happen.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Listen. For how quiet this man is around the inner circle, he would be moaning and panting into your ear. His dirty talk alone is enough to reduce you to a shaking mess. But when he’s pounding into you he’ll be cursing and roaring against you. More than once you’ve had someone pounding on the door because of how loud the two of you were being. He would only make it a point to be even louder when that did happen and when the two of you finally crawled out of your bedroom, the house would be empty.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Azriel was terrified the first time you two had sex. It’s no secret that he’s insecure when it comes to his hands and he was afraid that you would be wary to have him finger you but that fear was quickly dismissed when you begged for his fingers. Now whenever he seems to get too far into his head, all you have to do is slip one of his giant fingers into your mouth and he would snap out whatever funk he was in and he would go absolutely feral. You made the mistake of doing it at dinner with the rest of the inner circle once and everyone just stared at you two with wide eyes as Azriel just sat back further into his chair, legs spreading as he smirked with pure male satisfaction.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Our shadowslinger is hung. I think he’s at least 8 inches but he’s also thick. Like if you wrap your hand around him, your fingers just barely touch. The illyrian joke about wings is definitely true and he’s the biggest of the three males. The rest of the girls nearly fell out of their chairs when they held their hands out trying to get you to spill just how big he was. All three sisters and Mor are just sitting there like 🫸 🫷“What do you mean , keep going??? Girl are you okay???”

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Mother. This man’s sex drive is ridiculous. Despite having many partners over the years, there was a lot of time between then and he never let them be truly intimate, opting for quick fucks that were satisfying on the surface level for sure but he desperately yearned for real intimacy. So once he found you he couldn’t get enough of you and you him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’ll always wait for you to fall asleep. And you normally fall asleep pretty quickly after he’s rung orgasm after orgasm out of you. Some nights we would just stare at you as you slept soundly besides him, wondering how he got so lucky to have you next to him.

[wildemaven]

confessions | tim rockford

pairing: tim rockford x f!reader word count: 1349 warnings: 18+ blog; beer consumption, Tim is older than reader but no age given (not more than 10+ years), fluff, pining, secret crushes, kissing, fluff, one mention of calling Tim ‘old’ in a playful manner, (none of these pictures dictate the appearance of reader, this is all purely for vibes and up for your own interpretation) notes: this is my first Tim fic and I’m so excited to be apart of the Summer Lovin’ challenge out on by @pedgito @chaotic-mystery @amanitacowboy Big shout out to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for giving it a once over for me!! I appreciate you!!

“Thanks again for coming.” You lean over and say before hiding behind the sip from your plastic cup of ice cold beer. 

“Of course. It’s a bummer your date couldn’t make it.” Tim says now leaning slightly over in your direction so you can hear him. 

The music isn’t loud. More of a steady hum as a slower ballad is played on stage. Low enough that you can carry on an easy conversation without shouting over blasting speakers. 

“Yeah. Definitely a bummer he couldn’t make it. I don’t think I’d be having as much fun as I am if I was alone— so thank you.” You almost feel bad about lying. Your date that canceled on you last minute for this very concert you’re attending right now with your partner instead. 

Expect Tim doesn’t know that there never was a date prior to him accepting your last minute invitation to be your plus one. His detective skills certainly are not keen on the slight crush you've had for the man for some time now. 

“You don’t have to keep thanking me. I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to be here. It’s kind of a bonus that they’re one of my favorite bands. Missed out on getting tickets. So I should be thanking you.” Tim bumps your arm playfully with his elbow before directing his attention back to the stage where the lead singer is ripping on his shiny black electric guitar. 

“Oh! I didn’t realize that when I asked you. I’m so glad it worked out like this.” Another lie. 

You knew it was one of Tim’s favorite bands. Overheard him one morning in the break room talking about this upcoming tour and how it’s been a dream of his to see them live. The only problem was this exact venue had sold out before he had gotten a chance to even attempt to get tickets. 

It pays to know people. Especially the kind of people who owe you favors. You had immediately called in the favor and you were able to secure two tickets that were relatively close to the stage without any issues. 

Tim Rockford has been your partner at the police department for the last three years. The crush you’ve been quietly harboring for him has been alive for nearly the same amount of time. 

You tried to not feel guilty while flat out lying to him about the whole thing. Especially right now with how much he is enjoying himself. His head bobbing in time with the beat. The words so effortlessly fall  from his mouth as he sings along to each song. 

As the song plays on, you don’t see the way Tim is admiring you thoroughly enjoying the music. Your arms high in the air, falling into a rhythmic wave that mirrors the other concert goers. What surprises him most, and finds almost angelic, is the way you sing word for word without missing a beat, making him even more grateful you asked him to come now, so he could witness such a sight. 

“I’m surprised you know all the words.” He says with a grin that makes your stomach swoop instantly. 

“Of course I do. It’s a good song.” You’d only discovered it when you began your rigorous studying of the band’s entire discography after securing the tickets. But Tim doesn’t need to know that— yet. “They’re a great band for being around for so long.” 

He shoots you a pained look.

“A great band for being around for so long? Sweetheart, I was listening to them in high school. You calling me old?” He turns fully to you in the small row where your seats have been abandoned for the better part of the show. His signature Detective Rockford stance, hip cocked out and hand secure at his waist band, is way less intimidating when he’s dressed in his off duty casual clothes and unarmed. 

“Well, not as old as my dad…” Technically, Tim isn’t not much older than you, but the years between you were enough for there to be a difference in tastes of music. You shrug your shoulders at him, not sure if he’s picking up the flirty tone you’ve adopted in the last few minutes. “But if the shoe fits, I guess.” 

“I’m hurt— wounded.” Tim grabs at the front of his shirt, the fabric bunching under his grip. 

“What was that?” You cup your hand over your ear and lean back into him. “I can’t hear you over your knees popping every time you stand up.” 

His smile drops and it has you feeling like you might have crossed a line that has blown any chance of ever being something more serious with Tim. 

“Tim— I was totally kidding. I’m so sor—“ Tim cuts you off before you can properly apologize to him. 

Tim’s lips are softer than you had imagined them being, slotted perfectly over yours. The music playing is no longer the main event for you, fading into the background as Tim conveys to you his own undisclosed feelings for you through the kiss. It’s a moment that feels straight out of one of your favorite rom-com movies. 

“I hope I haven’t been reading this whole thing wrong and I didn’t just make an ass out of myself by shutting up that pretty mouth of yours.” Tim’s musky cologne mixes with the beer he’d been savoring as his words fan across your face at such a close proximity. 

“No. You definitely didn’t— to both things.” A cool breeze sweeps through, alleviating the warmth that’s settled on your skin. “I have a confession to make.” 

“What’s that?” His thumb grazes over the apple of your cheek. It’s gentle effort helps ease all of your shot nerves. 

“There was no date. I got the tickets and planned to ask you. I didn’t want to sound desperate or weird, so I made it seem like I was going with someone else and that they canceled at the last minute.” 

“Oh— well I guess I should confess something to you then.” There’s a small hint of relief that you detect in his voice at your confession, you wouldn’t be one of the best detectives in your department to let that tell slide by unseen. “I was jealous of your non-existent date.” 

“Really?!” 

A light fluttering sensation swirls through you. Sincerity etched in the flecks of the warm brown eyes staring back at you. 

“Yeah. Heard you talking about it with everyone at work. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a small part of me that had wished it was me going with you.” 

“You’re only saying that because it’s your favorite band playing right now.” 

You amusingly roll your eyes and push at his solid unmoving arm, but he catches your wrist before you can pull away. 

“Nah, I would have been jealous even if it was that Bieber kid.” Tim maneuvers his hand around yours, interlocking your fingers together. 

“Good to know, Rockford. I'll remember that for next time.” 

The chords of a new song fill the air. A vivacious energy spreads through the crowd like a wildfire. It’s not enough to break the small bubble Tim and you are currently existing in. 

“Next time? So what does that mean for us then, Sweetheart?” His brows knit together. He’s hopeful at the prospect of a next time, but doesn’t want to be too expectant and scare you away before he even has a chance to have you. 

“I don’t know. Let’s listen to the rest of this concert. Then afterwards you can take me to that old diner you love over on Pine Street. Order some food and we can talk until they threaten to kick us out.”

“If I’m not mistaken, that kind of sounds like the perfect first date.” He delivers another weak-in-the-knee inducing smile and you can’t help but mirror it with a little wink. 

“Way to use those detective skills.” 

It’s your turn to kiss him. It doesn’t linger as long as you’d like, but the night is still young. 

[lolahauri]

: ̗̀➛ Ben Drowned | Smut Alphabet 🔞

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

If he doesn’t fall asleep right away, he’ll clean you up either by using a towel or licking the cum off of you. Afterwards he’ll get you snacks to share while you cuddle and play games.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part of himself is his mouth. He loves being able to lick, suck, and bite on every sensitive area of your body, and he especially loves seeing the way it effects you. His favorite part of you would be your ass. No matter the size or shape, he loves slapping, squeezing, and grinding on it. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’ll cum anywhere you want him to, no complaints. But i think his favorites would be: on your face, inside you, and on your ass. In that order. Honestly no matter how worn out he is from sex, seeing his cum painted all over your pretty face gets him hard again immediately. He’d also love seeing his cum dripping out of you, he gets off on the idea that he’s marking your insides as his.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

If you don’t keep your phone and laptop cams covered, he’ll watch you through them and jack off to just the sight of your face. Like you could literally be filing taxes on ur laptop and this man will still jerk off to you. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Probably an average amount of pyschical experience. He mostly learns what to do through porn and watching people through their cams (lol). To be fair, it’s not very easy to get laid when you’re a homicidal spirit. 

(he does have a lot of sexting and phone sex experience tho)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

In order: doggy, cowgirl, missionary. Doggy is self explanatory, he loves your ass. With cowgirl, he loves making you work for your orgasm while he get to lay back and watch. It gives him an amazing view, either watching your tits bounce, or getting to jerk you off and give you twice the pleasure. In missionary, he likes that he has access to your whole body. He can tongue kiss you, play with one of your nipples, and rub your clit/jerk you off all while fucking you at the same time. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I honestly think he’s more on the serious side. And i don’t mean that as being stoic or anything. I just think he gets hyper focused on the experience, making sure you both feel good. There’s not a lot of room for jokes when he’s pounding you into the mattress.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Golden blonde like his hair. He keeps it trimmed neatly, but never fully shaved.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

You’d probably have to ask him for extra intimacy. Even though he loves you, he’s never really made-love to anyone. It was always just fucking. But he would totally enjoy being more sensual and soft if it’s something you talk to him about. 

Though, let’s assume you are in a genuine relationship, but haven’t talked to him about taking things slower. I think he’d naturally do things like holding your hand, praise you, and kiss you all over to show his affection. Even if the sex itself is rough or fast, you still bring out that soft side in him.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Very Often. Especially if you have a low sex drive (or just lower than his), he’d make up for it by jerking off daily and pretending it’s your hand. Or using a fleshlight and pretending it’s your ass/pussy.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Facials, voyer, public sex, edging, overstimulation, threesome, anal, creampies, cum eating, roleplay, cosplay (he’d def ask you to dress as his fav anime characters at least once).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Living room couch, the possibility of getting caught is exciting. That also goes for other public places. Like dressing rooms, bathrooms, in your car, against the walls in the mansion hallway, etc… 

The shower and his bed are your usual spots tho.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Everything about you. The way you walk, the way you talk, your laugh, he’s seriously obsessed with you and your beauty.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sounding, ageplay, scat, vomit, etc… All of the usual turn offs lmao. Generally anything thats more pain than pleasure also.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers receiving, but he’ll happily go down on you too. He’s pretty skilled, and gets better everytime. He mentally takes notes of what things get the most noise out of you and repeats it or uses it later to make you cum faster.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Usually on the rough and fast side, if you ask him though, he’ll take his time with you more often and let his intimate side show in bed.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Loves them. He’d be down to have a quickie anywhere, anytime. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes. He’ll try almost anything once, just tell him your fantasies and he’ll try his best to make it reality.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He doesn’t last a super long time. But he can go for multiple rounds to make up for it. And if you want him to, he’ll keep going until you’re both shaking and crying (of pleasure) from the overstimulation. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He absolutely owns at least one pocket pussy. Probably some vibrators and plugs too. He’d happily use anything you wanted on either of you. 

One of his fantasies would be fucking you from behind and using a vibrator on your clit/tip. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

The biggest tease in the world. If he really wants to be a dick about it, he’ll spend the whole day randomly doing things he knows will turn you on, just to play dumb and then leave you feeling needy and frusterated. Making you wait until that night to give you some relief. Not that he’ll make it easy, you’ll most likely be edged to the point of tears and begging before he lets you cum.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Very vocal! Loud moans and whimpers, heavy breathing, grunting, you name it. Especially when he gets into dirty talk. If he’s getting close, nearly every other word gets broken up with high pitched whimpers, loud moans, and heavy exhales. If you’re the type who relies a lot on sounds to get off, you’ll have no problems when you’re with him. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He would definitely want you to give him a footjob at some point.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Average size and girth. About 5.5-6”. Curved upwards a bit. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very high. Expect to be fucking at LEAST once a day, even if it’s just oral or mutual masterbation. Though that doesn’t mean one round, he’ll probably wanna go at least 2-3 times in a row if he’s feeling needy.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He tries not to, but half the time he passes out almost immediately afterwards.

[seeingivy]

sharing

ryomen sukuna x f!reader

**part of my best friend's older brother fic

previous part linked here

--

things change slightly in the weeks that follow. 

according to your mom, who called you very upset on a tuesday afternoon, your dad had apparently decided to stay in town until the end of the month – and on very strict orders from sukuna and possibly any shred of self-preservation that you had in you – you weren’t going to be going back until he was gone for good. 

messages from sammy were few and infrequent, except for whenever she got drunk – something she very clearly got from your mom. always the same message, deeply apologetic and regretful, and it somehow was very slowly melting whatever it was that happened at the funeral. 

or it was just one of those things. 

she was your sister – she was blunt, a little harsh at times, but well meaning. or at least trying to be. but she was still your sister and for some reason, you were just going to get over it, in the real way, without thinking twice. 

but you do realize that it was too naive to think that years of butting heads and stepping on each other’s toes wasn’t going to go away just because you had decided to be friends and sang kumbaya while buying lingerie. 

that much should have been obvious though, since sukuna and yuuji had done their version of that years prior, and yet still had the meltdown they did a few months ago. it was always one of those complicated things you figured – growing up in the same house, being competition, stuck in admiration or hatred. 

the family business, one that sukuna and yuuji both refused to ever be a part of, has fallen at the seams. and while sukuna has no intention of ever working there – much to satoru’s delight – he’s fixing the mess of the finances that were left behind for all of the employees and the stipends that he were going to help his mom. 

meaning he has to go back to town. the town that you refuse to return to for the time being. and he won’t let you accompany him.   

and it’s in the week that he disappears that you wonder if you’re starting to be too codependent. if it’s normal for you to miss someone this amount, to worry about him so much, to the point where he occupies your every thought. 

he tries to call when he can. sometimes they’re a few in between because you know that he’s spending time with his mom, that he doesn’t like being home, that whatever it all is – it’s stressful and he hates it. 

your mom sends you a picture of him once in a while. sometimes you stare at it for a little too long. 

“hi sweet girl. how are you?” 

his voice sounds tired over the phone, the smallest hint of a rasp tinged in with the strained tone. 

“i’m okay, ryo. how are you?” 

sukuna can feel his heart sink at the nickname. at the fact that you use nicknames, terms of endearment, and he hasn’t heard them in days. 

“good, good. are you getting ready for bed?” sukuna asks. 

“yeah.” 

there’s a quiet beat. maybe you should have been more descriptive than that. that was a little flat. 

“is that fucking gel cat strawberry in the spot next to you?” 

you smile. 

“it’s a jelly cat. and yes, it is.” 

“enjoy it while it lasts. i’m going to throw it out the window when i get back.” 

“you’re so rude.” 

he laughs over the line and you can’t help but sigh before immediately regretting it. 

you wonder if he sleeps well. or if he laughs often with the moms or if he’s just run in different directions trying to make sure they’re all okay. 

“oh don’t break my heart, now. you miss me, sweetheart?” he murmurs. 

you can tell by the tone in the voice that he’s trying to coddle you. you almost want to give in just to hear him sweet talk you down. 

“yeah. gets real scary here without you.” you joke

“is that right?” 

“not actually. but you know like right before you go to sleep and the house creaks? i panic for one second and then decide that i should send a prayer out to the universe so i don’t die before falling asleep.” 

“always one for the dramatics.” 

“i know. i’m sure it always creaks but i’ve always shared a room – either with sammy or with mai across the way who was always blasting music. and you snore, so i never even not–” 

“i don’t snore.” 

“yes, you do.” 

“no, i don’t.” 

“i will admit. while it does take me some time to fall asleep, i’ve never slept so soundly with you gone. it’s so serene.” 

you know for a fact that sukuna’s rolling his eyes on the other side of the line. 

“wow, sweetheart. i should just do you a favor and stay here longer then.” 

“every night i wake up in a panic without you! i’ll never sleep again!” you joke. 

sukuna laughs. 

“that sounds about right. but really…i…i’ll be back soon, okay? i don’t like being away for so long.” he murmurs quietly. 

you frown. 

“don’t feel bad. you know you have to be there.” 

“i don’t feel bad. well, maybe i do a little but i mainly just fucking miss you.” he mumbles. 

you smile. 

“sap.” 

you pause. 

“i miss you too, you know?” 

“i was waiting for that. give me a little more.” he responds. 

you smile. mainly at the fact that he expresses what he wants so openly. or that he misses it just as much as you do. 

“i miss you a lot. it feels so weird to sleep in our bed without you that i fall asleep on the fold out couch.” 

sukuna scoffs. 

“you mean you fall asleep watching tv and don’t move because i’m not there to pick you up?” 

“yeah, more like that.” 

sukuna laughs. 

“sleep in the guest.” 

“ew. it smells like yuuji and megumi’s cologne. and while they smell great, i don’t like smelling like them when i wake up.” 

“does our bed smell like me?” he asks. 

“yeah but i prefer the real thing so i sleep on the couch. i refuse to elaborate.” 

sukuna gets it. 

“i’ll be back soon, okay? i’m almost done and then…then i’m running back to you, alright?” he whispers. 

“okay. i do have something planned this weekend for your birthday, but don’t stress about it. it won’t be anything big.” 

sukuna pauses. 

he forgot that his birthday was coming around. 

he would be lying if he was saying that he wasn’t looking forward to it. he supposes that he was your opposite in that way. since no matter what it was, the circumstances good or bad, your birthday had been soured so bad that nothing could make it good – not even him. 

he didn’t blame you. or even take it personally.  

but he couldn’t relate. because he knew you – and it wasn’t arrogant of him to assume that you were going to go all out, no matter the circumstances. not only did you have a bad habit of leaving tabs or notes that were very clearly labeled gift ideas out in the open, but he knew that you would do something special for him, that he’d get to chart in all of the cherished memories that he had with you. 

it would be another sour patch of his that you’d sew right over, with careful and steady hands. but with every milestone that he thought of now, it was bittersweet. 

first birthday with you. first birthday without his dad – not that it really meant much in the first place. 

“no parties.” sukuna clarifies. 

“no, it’ll actually be just you and me. and i think you’ll like it, you–” 

“i’ll love it.” 

you smile. 

“i love you.” you state. 

he’s quiet on the other side of the line. 

“sukuna?” 

“i want to say it back but the moms are staring at me.” he mumbles quietly.

you smirk. 

“say it.” 

“no.” 

“you’re going to let me go to bed without an i love you?” 

“i’ll text it to you.” 

“ryomen sukuna. tell me you love me.” 

sukuna sighs. 

“i love you. call me if you can’t sleep, okay?” 

you can hear giggling in the background. and you’re sure he’s three different shades of pink. 

“i will.” 

--

not even an hour later, yuuji is standing on your doorstep – with a peachy smile and a bag slung over his shoulder. 

“yuuji? you–” 

“sleepover!” 

he walks past you and falls straight onto the couch, placing his bag next to him as he reaches for the remote. you quickly shut the door and take the spot next to him, watching as he starts shuffling through the movies, so cavalier about barging in so late and unannounced. 

“do you always show up to people’s apartment’s unprovoked with all your things?” 

yuuji smiles, reaching forward to flick your forehead. 

“no, just for you.” 

“figures.” 

you watch as he flits through all of the movies, nestling his head into your shoulder, as you return the gesture and lean your cheek against his. it takes two seconds for you to figure it out. 

“did he call you?” you ask. 

“he did. said some weird stuff about tables and carrying stuff. pretty sure he was just asking me to keep you company, which don’t mind if i do.” yuuji responds. 

you smile. of course. 

“i made one half joke about how i don’t like to sleep alone and he sent you running.” 

“isn’t that sweet? i can tell he’s been thinking about you a lot.” yuuji responds. 

you lean back, giving him a confused look. and you can tell by the look on his face that he knows exactly what you’re trying to get at, but pretends otherwise. 

“what? it’s sweet! he asked me to come take care of you.” yuuji clarifies. 

“since when do you find him sweet? no lecture about how he thinks i can’t handle things on my own?” 

yuuji scoffs, before pressing on the princess diaries. 

“you can’t take care of anything on your own.” 

“what a vote of confidence.” you deadpan

yuuji sighs, as you watch the movie start, and both sink deeper into the couch. a telltale sign that you realize both sukuna and yuuji have – one that you deeply appreciate – is that they’re always careful with their words. 

the opposite of sammy really, of your dad too. they won’t talk until they know whatever they’re going to say is something they mean. 

“you can take care of things on your own. but i like that being with him means that you don’t have to sometimes. for both of you.” yuuji states. 

you smile. 

“i like that too. it’s a nice change.” you respond. 

“i’m really sorry, y/n.” 

“i know.” 

yuuji swallows hard, reaching for the remote and pausing the movie before he turns to your side, your limbs now a tangled mess of being criss-crossed as he leans forward. 

“really. i’ve been so shit to you when this is all i’ve ever wanted for you.” 

“it’s okay. this…this stuff is really complicated for you and…” 

yuuji shakes his head, before looking down at your joined hands, fingers interlocked together. 

“this isn’t any excuse but…but…” 

yuuji sighs. 

“when sukuna came back, i thought he was really different. i mean, he was really different. i don’t know what you noticed, but he came back softer. he always gave me my space and let me come to him and we were working back through all of our stuff together.” yuuji starts. 

you’re not sure if you noticed a difference after he came back. he always seemed the same as always – a little withholding, like he was keeping you at arms distance. though, that seems to make more sense to you now. 

“but he’s still the brother i grew up with. there’s still things that i’m sensitive to, that…that i can’t get over.” 

you feel a pang in your chest. 

“i get that. you know…i kind of get that with sammy sometimes.” 

yuuji frowns. 

“yeah?” he whispers. 

you can feel the bitter contempt in your chest lingering. 

“i don’t know. i thought things were going well but…sometimes it’s just the same things as before. she’s just…always brushing me off. so harsh with her words. sometimes i think about the funeral and i’m glad sukuna’s not here just so i can lock myself in here and be alone.” 

you shake your head. 

“it’s like she’s picking at a scab. it’s the one thing i don’t want her to do and it’s the one thing that always happens. and she’s the only person who has that power in the first place, who…who gets to be that sore spot. and i know that it’s just how it is and it’s complicated but…” 

“but you can’t.” yuuji finishes. 

you shrug. 

“you were my scab.” yuuji states. 

you curl your nose in disgust, looking up to find the same expression mirrored on his face before you both laugh. 

“real cute.” 

“i mean…my thing with sukuna was that he was always better than me in every respect. that…that everything he did was perfect, that…that he was born normal and i wasn’t.” 

you cringe. 

“you are normal, you..” 

yuuji smiles. 

“i know i am. i just mean in my head, i always figured things were so easy for him. school was easy, sports were easy. he liked girls – he’d never have to sit there and debate if he was ever going to meet someone who liked him and when if he did, he wouldn’t have to give up his entire family for it.” 

yuuji pauses. 

“you were my best friend. you are my best friend. you’re my thing that’s always been easy. we don’t really fight, spending time with you never gets old, and…and really, you’re the only person i’ve known will always be around.” 

you smile. 

“it just felt like another thing he was going to be better at than me. and it’s selfish, but it was something i didn’t want to share. and i don’t expect you to get it, but…” 

you scoff. 

“don’t expect me to get it? you’re forgetting that i was the one who had to learn how to share you first. and maybe i didn’t say it out loud, but…i had some evil monologues for megumi that i was cooking up in my head.” 

yuuji laughs, almost like he’s relieved. 

“really?” 

“trust me. there was an entire basis behind the petty comments that i was making. i should have been more open with it but…but i don’t hate you for feeling that way. if anything, it makes me kind of happy, i guess. it did feel like you forgot all about me once you guys started dating, but…it’s nice to know you feel that way still. about me. even if it was annoying.” 

you pause. 

“you and i are special. and i can’t speak for you, but…sukuna’s never going to be what you are for me. i love him, but you…you’re not someone who could ever be replaced.” you affirm. 

yuuji smiles. 

“and megumi isn’t what you are for me either. he’s the love of my life. but you’re always going to be my soulmate.” 

you smile, rolling over the word in your head. soulmate – you and yuuji were soulmates. and he leans forward, placing his hands on your shoulder and squeezing. 

“now go on. tell me about him.” 

“what?” you ask. 

“i know you want to tell me about how happy you are. how it makes you feel. and i want to hear it. just refrain from talking about like how big his dick is or whatever and i’ll be fine.” 

you smile. 

“really? you mean it?” 

yuuji smiles back. 

“i’ve unfortunately heard the entire story of what that asshole was doing to you after the fact. it would make me really happy to hear how happy you are now.” 

you lean back on the couch and explain it all to him – french toast, bridgerton mugs (which he winces at when he remembers sammy broke them), emails, his coworkers, kisa, and everything in between. 

you don’t hear the apartment creak at night when you go to bed – instead it’s his labored breaths next to yours. 

--

sukuna makes it back early in the morning to find yuuji making breakfast in the kitchen and what he knows is you facedown still dead asleep in the mound of blankets on the couch. he gives yuuji a noncommittal wave before walking over to the couch and bending down at the side. 

sukuna can’t help but reach forward, brushing his back of his fingers against the softness of your cheek before tangling your hair away from your forehead. he can smell the remnants of the shampoo in your hair, your lips still a glossy pink from the balm you put on at night. 

“wake her up. give her a kiss.” yuuji whispers, now standing at his side. 

“are you crazy? she’s sleeping.” 

sukuna shakes his head, reaching forward to press a kiss to your hairline, before the two of them shuffle back to the kitchen. sukuna settles for a cup of coffee as he watches yuuji make the mix of french toast, the stillness hanging in the air between them. 

“dunno. if it were me and i went days without seeing megumi, i’d wake him up right away. why deprive myself of love and affection?” 

“you should deprive yourself more often. i’ve seen you two kiss far too many times. heard the words gumi bear way more than i’d like to.” 

yuuji snorts. 

“was she happy you came?” sukuna asks. 

“yeah. doubt she heard any of that creaking or anything she was telling you about since we were talking the entire time.” yuuji responds. 

it’s a small breath of relief – that sending yuuji was the right move – only to be coupled with guilt. 

sukuna hadn’t had time to check in on yuuji. 

“what did you talk about?” 

yuuji grins. 

“you.” 

yuuji looks over at him, grinning at him fully this time. 

“special edition bridgerton mugs? twilight themed emails? who knew you were so fucking corny? and that you watch bridgerton?” 

sukuna can feel his cheeks heat up, as he rolls his eyes. 

“she loves that shit. she made me watch it.” 

“no, she didn’t. she told me that you had watched it already and that your favorite season is the first one? not only are you a liar but you have god awful taste.” 

“let me guess. you like kate and anthony, like every other person on the fucking planet?” 

yuuji rolls his eyes. 

“everyone likes it for a reason. it’s perfect.” 

the two of them glare at each other, before giving up, and letting the same stillness take over. it’s not exactly uncomfortable, but there’s something lingering there – the two of them are stuck in their own heads about how they’re going to approach it, and more importantly, who is going to do it first. 

it’s yuuji. 

“the mugs thing is sweet. i’m sorry sammy broke them.” 

sukuna shrugs. 

“i’m bidding on ebay. no big deal.” 

yuuji notes that he responds to the second part of the statement and not the first. 

“i like that you do nice things for her. she really appreciates that you do.” yuuji repeats. 

 sukuna sighs. 

“did she say that?” 

yuuji smiles. 

“all that and more. she really loves you.” 

sukuna lets his eyes wander back to the couch, settling back into how foreign the apartment feels from being away for so long, and trying to let it all come back to him – how it was before he left things, how the two of you were. 

he’s scared he’ll do it wrong. 

“I’m really happy for you too. she’s exactly what you deserve.” yuuji states. 

it’s a weird sense of deja vu that sukuna gets – of the very first night. that loud bar, the mildew smell in the bathroom, and your tear streaked pink face. of the very first time that it occurred to him that there were people who had upset you, who had let you down, and that maybe he was the only person who was good enough for you – because he was the only one who intended to give you what you deserve. 

that he got to reap the goodness of the sweet love when he knew for a fact that he’d always be one to give it back to you, no matter how he was. that he was exactly what you deserved – maybe the only person who was because of how much he loved you. 

“what?” 

yuuji takes a beat. 

“were you expecting the opposite?” yuuji asks. 

“do you blame me?” 

yuuji shakes his head. 

“i am really happy for both of you. but i wouldn’t lie if i said i was more happy for you. i’ve known her a long time – and i’ve always wanted her to have someone who saw her for how special she is. and i always knew that it would happen, it was just a matter of time.” 

yuuji continues. 

“but i’m more happy for you. i had no idea that you had liked her for that long. i only now realize that the only person you could be that open with is her. and well…i don’t fucking know. shit sucked when we were kids. maybe for all of us, but for you the most. i know she loves hard. and i mean it, that’s what you deserve after everything.” 

there’s a lump in sukuna’s throat. he wants to tell yuuji everything – about why he left, about how him being around made it easy for him for a long time, how there was a time where he didn’t think he was going to live past twenty and now he’s reaching yet another birthday on the weekend. 

“i spent my entire life thinking i’d never get to be in love. and i’m not sure if that’s what you thought – but i know you weren’t ever thinking you’d get the girl of your dreams, and that on top of that, that it would be perfect. but really. it’s nothing more than what you deserve, sukuna.” 

but all he does is give him a nod. yuuji’s smart enough to parse what it means – that in the long rambling that he heard last night – he knows he has to learn how to read the silences, the quiet cues. 

“it means a lot to her that you came around.” sukuna starts. 

sukuna clears his throat. 

“and to me too.” he finishes. 

yuuji smiles. 

“and i suppose i should thank you. i always said she was like family to me, but it’ll be nice to tell people she’s actually my sister in the future.” yuuji responds, before squeezing his shoulder. 

sukuna smiles. 

“do you really let her call you ryomen?” yuuji asks. 

“yeah.” 

“thought you hated that name.” 

“i did.” 

there’s a reason that he went by sukuna. because every time that he slipped, he’d hear that godwful venomous voice, of his father telling him that he had given him such a special family name – and that sukuna had done nothing to deserve it. 

sukuna vividly remembers when he was a kid, when he used to beg everyone around him to call him sukuna, correcting them until they virtually forgot that his name was ryomen in the first pace. 

sukuna can feel the dryness in his throat, accompanied with a burning wetness in his eyes. yuuji makes no comment about it. 

“she just says it with so much love.” 

sukuna pauses, trying to will away that rising wave of emotion that was simmering in his chest, and put it away for the time being. 

“what did she get me for my birthday?” sukuna asks. 

yuuji nods. 

“she’s taking you on a weekend trip. a few cities over. she said there’s some cherry blossoms in season and that there’s a few museums that she wants you to see. figured it would be a nice rest for you given everything that’s been going on.” 

sukuna sighs, only because the wave comes back in full force. 

to be loved is to be known. 

clear cut proof that you had heard him loud and clear, when he had bared his soul to you. and not only that, but had known well enough that whatever was stewing in his head was getting dangerously close, maybe the closest it had been in years, to the edge – and that you had every intention to pull him back in the way he had pulled himself out in the first time. 

“is that good?” yuuji asks. 

“it’s perfect.” sukuna responds, before giving him one last nudge. 

sukuna decides that he won’t deprive himself. and instead leans forward, pressing his lips against yours – and pleasantly surprised when you smile right back at him in your sleep, his name honey on your lips, as he sinks into your arms. 

--

next part linked here

an: kind of filler again. sorry. apologies. also two more of this fic before it's done :O

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[no1deepspacehater]

NSFW ABC's - Xavier !

A/N: Zayne is up next for this one! Minors look away ofc! Also some minor spoilers in letters E and K

Enjoy!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Mostly, he’s so ready to sleep, but if that doesn’t fit your needs, he stays up for you. Need a shower? He’ll help you wash up. Something to eat? He’s not the best cook but cereal after sex always hits the spot anyways.

His most preferred aftercare is after a cold shower, you both just cuddle each other to sleep. You’re his favourite teddy bear to hold.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For him, his arms. Strong and buff from years, and I mean years, of sword practicing. Upper body strength of the Gods, perfect for holding you up with he fucks you against the wall, or just caging you in while you ride him. Grip his arms in any position and he’s beaming.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Moderate amount when he cums BUT he leaks. One stroke and his dick is wet. Prefers to cum inside/with a condom just because it gets sticky and messy, but is SO more than down if you want him to cum anywhere else.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

While masturbating has accidentally came on one of the plushies you gave him. He fell asleep right after and it left a stain he couldn’t wash out. Said plushie is now hidden away where you’ll never find it, and when you ask him about it he always says he lost it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

SPOILERS FOR HIS LORE!

Ok so here’s my headcanons, he’s either:

Has NEVER had sex because, well, he only wants you. Probably doesn’t watch porn for the same reason. Most knowledge he’s have is conversations with close friends but no hands on work.

HAS had sex before, but with previous lifetimes/timelines of you. Kinda more fun to work with this one because, he’d know all your sensitive spots, even ones you don’t know about. He’d now just how to rile you up and have you seeing literal stars.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

When he has energy or is in that type of mood: variations of missionary, I feel like he’d be into wall sex.

Other than that, as long as your on top of him and he could see your face, he’s happy. Sometimes he’ll let you do your thing while he’s being a little pillow princess, othertimes he’s the one in absolute control even though you’re above him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Always light giggles here and there because you both are being so cute. Sometimes though he’s not serious but he gets in this focused/locked in type of mode when you both are having particularly passionate sex.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

HEAR ME OUT HERE!! Rarely clean shaven just because he’d literally rather sleep. It’s not a jungle, but definitely had to start keeping it lower when you both do start to get intimate. I’d say once a week at least, once every two weeks at least. Now listen closely, he’s got a happy trail, nobody argue with me. His hair down there is a bit darker/browner than his actual hair, but it’s still pretty light that if you look too fast you’ll miss it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s a sappy little alien boy. Always showering you with praises so most of the time you’re a smiling blushing mess, which makes him smile as well. Even when he’s being dominant he’s calling you cute little pet names, anddd he’s got that smug little snark that’s just waiting for you to challenge him so he could show you who really is the most powerful here.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Doesn’t really do it much because sleep >> anything else. When he does have to release some pent up energy he generally just does it to get it out of the way and falls back asleep. Sometimes falls asleep dick in hand mid stroke.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I feel like he would be into roleplay. It’d take him a while to bring it up, but once he does it kinda helps him to actually express his emotions more in a way? But having you dress up as different things turns him on as well (the maid outfit is not surviving the night).

Also hear me out on this I feel like he’d have a pregnancy kink. (SPOILER: Something about you both living long enough to have a family) You’d just look sexy with a belly to him.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His or your place, where you can really let go. As for specifics:

The bed, the kitchen counter, the bathroom, the couch, to the windowww to the wall. As long as your both comfortable, he’s so down to screw you anywhere.

But thats not to say you both haven’t gotten... freakaayyy in the staff room closet at work once or twice... or five times.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Though he can just hear your name and he’s turned on, he particularly likes when you sass him back or give a little attitude. It’s like a declaration of sexual war between you two and he’s adamant that he wins.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Won’t bruise you too hard or hurt you in a serious way (like blood and stuff). He can’t, he just can’t. Hard choking as well is uncomfortable for him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Lives for eating you out/giving head. Even if he’s too tired for penetration he’s got more than enough energy for you to sit on his face and just let him go wild. Or literally he’ll get on his knees and just keep going harder everytime you tug his hair when he’s hitting a sweet spot. Will literally overstimulate you every time because he’s just having so much fun.

As for receiving, he doesn’t ask for it much but would neverrr decline. He twitches so much and constantly has to hold himself back from bucking his hips up and shoving his dick down your throat. Hearing you swallow all of his cum makes him literally orgasm a second time.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast, no, rarely. Slow, sensual, rough in an almost primal like way but still soft? Yes! He needs to feel every bit of you, and make sure you’re feeling every bit of him.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Appreciative of a good quickie. Though he’s more qeen on having ample time to do with you what he wants, there has been situations where he’s had to pull you to an empty room and set a new world record for the both of you. Sometimes the both of you are at home doing the nasty when you get called to a mission, and then suddenly it’s a race for time lol.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

If it’s for you, he’ll try anything (within reason). He is a risk taker as well, because really to him it’s not a risk if he’s going to succeed anyway. Just has to make sure he’s thought of every outcome and weighed out the pros vs cons, which he can decide very quickly when you’re looking at him like that.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Depends on how much time between the rounds. After round one, let him take a quick nap and he’s back on it like white on rice. Anything more than that will require a full day of sleeping with cuddles with you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I feel like personally he never bothered with toys, but would not be opposed to use one on you. It’s like having another way to satisfy you (and tease you endlessly). He likes to feel your touch rather than a toy but he’s okay with anything you want mostly.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s such a switch, honestly. One day he’s begging for you and the next he’s making YOU beg until you literally can’t handle it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

This man is a moaner and whimperer. He tries to hold it back mostly so it’s a lot of hot whimpering and mumbling at first but keep riling him up he’ll get louder. Says your name like a prayer always.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

 Turns your plushies around before you guys have sex, all of them. He says he doesn’t want to taint their innocence.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Thick in diameter, average sized in length. Definitely a shower but it’s pretty like him in every way anyway. Has one (1) prominent vein that hits just right. Colour just slightly darker than his skin colour (he’s pretty pale so) but tip is a light pink (#E6C5AD, if you will). Turns more red as he’s about to cum/is stroking or whatever. Yes I have thought a lot about this.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Having to wait lifetimes for your lover can leave you pretty wanting at times. That being said Xavier doesn’t really indulge in himself too often, and he’s quite the sleeper so in general it’s pretty low. But it can lead to some fun times where he’s just teasing you forever.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Like a LIGHT. After proper aftercare he is ready for the nap of his life.

[nicksbestie]

i love your work sm! can you write a johnnie fic where he had a long day and the reader is cuddling with him and telling him how proud they are of him. i just feel like johnnie needs to hear it 🫶🏼 thank you!!

thank you SO SO SO much!! i absolutely can <3 I loved this prompt!!

my reqs are now closed but please come chat about jake and johnnie with me whenever!!

Tired

warnings : mentions of mental health and negativity, feelings of depression and sadness

word count : 811

pairing : johnnie guilbert/reader (romantic)

enjoy!!! <3

Content creation could take a lot out of a person, especially when they were already struggling with their mental health. Despite the fact that it could be more flexible than a more average job, it can still provide the same, if not more, amounts of stress. Once you start a career like that, especially when it gains following and attention, you have a large internet presence, and people on the internet can be so incredibly cruel. People are more confident than ever when they are hiding behind the safety of a screen, unlikely to be revealed, and that shows in any career with a majorly online platform. 

This wasn’t to say that there weren’t a lot of positives to having a more internet focused career, like the flexible hours, and sometimes the pay is even better than any other job, if your following is big enough. And most of the time, the positives are enough to keep you going through the negative portions. However, sometimes those negative portions feel like they’re going to be the end of your career. Johnnie had been growing a large internet presence for years now, and had seen or gone through just about everything there was to see or go through. But that didn’t mean that it affected him any less, and sometimes, the fact that he had seen it before caused it to affect him more. 

Today was one of those bad days, where the negative parts had gotten to be way too much. You weren’t aware of this quite yet, due to the fact that you weren’t home yet. You were on the way home, and had no idea that Johnnie’s work day had not gone as planned. His stream had ended abruptly, you knew that, and way before it was scheduled to end, but you had chalked it up to some technical mishap or something of the sort, as that difficulty did happen every once in a while. It wasn’t often, but you knew that it wouldn’t be too out of the norm, and it wouldn’t have raised many alarm bells with his fanbase. So, you weren’t worried at all, thinking you had no reason to be as you pulled into your garage, walking into the house and calling out that you were home. 

You did become a little confused when you got no response. Johnnie always called back to you, regardless of whether he was working or not. You always came home at nearly exactly the same time, and he knew that, so whatever he had or was playing, he always had the volume down low enough so he could hear when you came in and began talking to him. Due to this, you went looking for him, gently knocking on his bedroom door when you realized it was locked. He had a key above his bedroom door, in case of any emergency, but you would never open it without his permission. You respected his privacy, and because of that, you spoke through the door, asking if he, or you, could open the door. 

Once you received his affirmation that you could open it, you reached up to grab the key from the top of the doorway, and easily unlocked the door. Walking in, your heart felt like it was breaking. The room was as dark as possible, the shades on the windows closed tightly, no lights on, not even his monitors. Your boyfriend was nearly invisible, seemingly attempting to hide under his blankets, his back to you, completely ignoring the fact that you had just walked in. You sat down on the side of the bed, softly pulling the covers back and resting a hand on his shoulder. 

“Baby, what’s going on?” 

He didn’t turn to look at you, simply shrugging. 

“Nothing. I’m fine.” 

You stayed silent for a minute, laying down next to him and throwing the covers back over you both. 

“You’re clearly not fine. But if you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to. Do you want a hug?” 

He immediately turned over, letting you wrap your arms around him, and your heart broke into even more pieces when you saw the tear tracks staining his makeup free cheeks. He hid his face once he realized that you had noticed how it looked, refusing to speak, and just letting you hold him. You had absolutely no problems staying there as long as he needed you to be there, and it ended up being a couple of hours. You were hugging him, reminding him that he was loved, and that you were proud of him. You were sure that he would be back to his normal self soon, but you were more than happy to help him carry the emotional weight while he was struggling. After all, that’s what you do for the people you love.

[springsmile]

the way it is || 2

tw: nsfw, fingering, dubcon that turns into noncon, victim blaming, mentions of self h*rm

[part 1]

whenever he touches you, you focus on the sensation of shredded flesh and that metallic scent entering your windpipe. you inhale it complacently.

heavy petting and apologies, gruff at that, are the new normal. you wonder if they’re sincere, or if they’re ones of remorse. you wouldn’t accept them, either way.

you prefer the basement. the concrete (frigid—leaving you curled into yourself, teeth rattling, arms in a bruising wind around your shins), when your bones would creak with any brisk jerk, eyelids leaden, wondering if keloids would befall the columns on your arms.

instead, beneath you is his arm. and across your torso is another. each chiseled with same strength afforded to your wrists and ankles and throat. they’re heavy. they anchor you to the soft silk of the bedspread, balmy with your sweat. katsuki is impossibly close, breath gliding across your face in gentle huffs. it’s the picture of domesticity. only you know it’s something more uncanny.

sometimes, you long for his brutality. for his unparalleled thew, for the rage so palpable you could taste it, and for the anticipatory furling of your gut. the duality of anxiety was hardly distinguishable anymore. you relish in it, now.

katsuki rouses moments later, his fingers card through your hair, which he took to washing regularly (you couldn’t be trusted to do it alone), and a hum reverberates through his chest and throat.

“how’d you sleep?” he mumbles.

“i didn’t.” you say honestly.

his lips fall into a frown, and you’re unwittingly slotted his chest.

“i’m sorry.” he breathes, and by god, you detest his breath. there’s no odor, but you loathe inhaling it. his fragment of his being lives inside you, even if just for a moment. “nightmares?”

“no. you just fucking disgust me.”

he still has the gall to look crestfallen. he snares his bottom lip in between his teeth.

“besides that. do you need those meds again?”

the ones he would crush in his fist into a fine dust put into your water. and when you caught on, and refused to drink, he’d apply an ungodly amount of pressure on your jaw with one hand, and with the other, pressed it down your throat.

you suppress a visceral shiver. “it’s up to you, katsuki. it always is.”

he’s grown tired of your resignation— but he’s more so afraid of your fragility. are you gone for good? did he decimate you into jagged little remnants? now, he could only gather you in his hands and hold your chest his ear. waiting for the rhythmic thumps.

“it’s not.” he says firmly, and when his hand begins to make way for your face, you brace for contact. his hand falters, and eventually thumbs the unevenness of your skin. “do you want to start taking them again?”

you didn’t want to do this anymore.

was breaking better than being broken?

you enjoyed being thorny, if anything. you liked inflicting pain, however minuscule, with your tongue. but you subconsciously longed to feel something. the hearth of life.

for whatever reason unbeknownst to you, your lips part, and acquiescence follows.

“okay.”

he startles at your agreeableness. a smile succeeds the aforementioned frown. and it almost makes you fucking sick.

he untangles himself from you, and relief overcomes you, stemming from the pit of your stomach.

“want breakfast?”

“yes.”

you’re still startled by the sound of your own voice. what was once ragged and frayed around the edges is now subdued, free of any rasp.

you descend downstairs with a hunch, shoulders skimming the lobes of your ears. you’re now more privy to sound and any movement that invades your peripherals. you can creakily yet effectively maneuver if you deem necessary. though, it’s unlikely you require this astuteness any longer, as katsuki has been rendered to pliancy.

he places precisely two pieces of toast and a banana before you. it’s all you can stomach, having transitioned from soups in the basement to agreeable solids upstairs.

katsuki drags his chair out, and falls onto it. he watches you through half lidded eyes, and despite this apparent lethargy, you’re well acquainted with the fact that he could spring into action at a moment’s notice.

you stand.

there’s not a single thought in your head— not a coherent one, anyway. not one that isn’t incessant. rampant.

you approach katsuki, and gradually, his eyelids sink back. swinging a leg over his lap, you begin to straddle him. his shock encourages you to continue. what, you couldn’t say.

“(y-y/n)?” he chokes weakly.

you say nothing. and from your sides, your hands tremble as they lift, and hold the sides of his face how one would handle china. then, without a second thought, you dive down and kiss him, eyes wide open.

you wanted to feel something. anything. anything would do. you skin could crawl to where you would take anything with a sharp edge to your skin and peel it all off. that was okay. you could handle it. you could handle it.

you could pretend. evoke that pool of desire that would once brew and bubble in your belly.

katsuki makes a sound of shock. and for all of what you’d known of him, you had expected him to reciprocate. after all, before he wanted so badly to be a father. he was ready, he assured. he could get all the diapers and crap.

with newfound dread at the forefront of your senses, you begin to draw back, when hands anchor you in place and his lips finally work against yours.

twitching, your hand surges for his cock, which had sprung into rigidity. thanks to you, he’d suffered a dry period, after all.

“you want my cock, (y/n)?” he husks around your lips. “huh? was all that just you being a brat? were you faking?”

it was refreshing— how his remorse had morphed the second you put out.

“you wanted attention, didn’t you?” he growls, a hand inches up the shirt that hung on your body. it’s his, of course. he kneads your breast. “s’that why you hurt yourself?”

no, no, no, nononononononononoNONONONO.

you don’t speak, your vocal chords had melted together within the buzzing summery heat that emanated from inside of you. sound was dulled into nothing.

seconds later, calloused digits invade the warmth of your dry cunt. katsuki is undeterred. his palm gyrates atop your clit. your lungs inflate instantly.

he starts with a single finger, which he neglected to lubricate, and pumps it steadily. coupled with the motions on your sensitive nub, your pussy leaks hot, glinting juices in no time.

katsuki gives that notorious crooked grin. the one where his eyes narrow, and all his teeth are on display.

“fuuuck, (y/n). look how wet your perfect pussy is getting for me.” he snarls. “you could’ve just asked, baby. i would’ve gladly delivered. didn’t need to be all coy and fuckin’ gloomy.”

tears follow the ring of cream that gathers around his knuckles. the wet squelching, and the curling of his fingers (when he added a second one, you didn’t know) have your chest heaving, mind in overdrive with words flitting around the walls of your brain with the ferocity of atoms in a gaseous state.

do you want to? don’t you want to?

“i love you, (y/n).” katsuki says into your ear. “i’m so glad you realized this is how we’re supposed to be. this is your place.”

bile rises in your throat.

[heesdreamer]

TWO FOR ONE

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader x jake

SUMMARY ➩ Don’t let the tiny amount of plot fool you… this is straight up smut lol. Heeseung is a gentle giant who doesn’t talk much and Jake is an absolute menace

WARNINGS ➩ Straight up smut. slight switch heeseung… he just listens well lol, hard dom jake but he’s sweet at times, double penetration, slight degrading… it’s just a mess lol this is definitely getting content blocked. Heejake are NOT together and do not get intimate at all other then slight instruction from the latter! NOT PROOFREAD

WC ➩ 11.1k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ So.. I’m back lol. Not what I typically write but well… guess I was in a mood so here you go. Hope you enjoy however many of you manage to see this considering tumblr isn’t being so kind to smut writers right now

It wasn’t like you weren’t accustomed to men and their actions, especially in your specific line of work.

Being a waitress meant you were subjected to almost every type of man, ranging from the attractive ones who talked too much about themselves and their accomplishments to the less favorable who seemed to think calling out comments about your uniform would get them a date after your shift ended.

You loved your job on a regular day, working in a hole in the wall diner that managed to get pretty heavy foot traffic between the drunk people wandering too far from the main stretch looking for cheap food and the truckers who were 16 hours into a shift and needing somewhere warm to refuel on coffee and stretch their legs.

The summers were hectic and considering part of your uniform entailed rolling around on a pair of bright pink skates as you delivered hot mugs and stacks of plates, you definitely wouldn’t have liked it as much if it wasn’t for your coworkers and the hefty tips you’d get if you managed to bring yourself to batting your eyelashes at the customers.

You were six hours into a shift now and your ankles were definitely swollen from the tight skate laces around your ankles, hair frizzier than it had been in the morning from the humidity and sweat and you were almost positive some sticky mouthed kid had stuck gum on the back of your apron.

Still your attention was locked on a booth in the corner of the diner, leaning forward on the counter with your elbows holding up your weight to stop you from rolling forward or backwards. Your eyebrow was raised as you looked at the two people seated across from each other and you were running over your mental catalog to see if you’d seen them before. Eventually decided you definitely hadn’t considering the reason for your initial curiosity, that being the fact they were the complete opposite of your usual demographic.

“They screw you out of a solid tip or something?” Your coworkers voice was mumbling from beside you and you glanced over just in time to see him taking off his hairnet and leaning down on the counter next to you.

Riki had actually been one of the skaters a year or two back before he hit a random growth spurt and became to clumsy and accident prone. It had only taken three spilled coffees onto unexpecting patrons before he was being push back onto cook duty in the back kitchen, happy to at least have kept his job even if he was missing out on server tips now.

“They’re Sunoo’s table.” You were explaining to him and shaking your head softly, pausing for a second. “I just haven’t seen them around before.”

He was shrugging and you could feel him glancing at you in confusion before he was looking back at the two boys who were innocently eating their fries and barely paying attention to their surroundings. “So, what’s the big deal? Maybe they’ll be your first regulars who aren’t 60 years old.”

You didn’t directly respond to him but you kept watching the boys curiously for the rest of your shift and four more after that, they kept coming in day after day and sitting in the same booth in the corner.

Eventually you would’ve gotten bored of trying to figure out where they came from or what part of town they lived in, if it wasn’t for the fact they started to notice you too. Especially one of them considering he would continuously poke his head over the booths divider wall and look at you for a few seconds until you made eye contact with him, then he’d shoot back down and sit tight in his seat.

It was funny at first to see how nervous he got whenever you held his gaze for half a second but eventually it started to get on your nerves and distract you from your actual tables, never having served them yet considering they only sat in Sunoo’s section.

A week passed before you were sighing and asking your coworker if it was okay for you to swap sides of the diner for the day, watching his confused expression turn into a meddling one as he glanced over at the boys in the corner knowingly before he was nodding his head enthusiastically.

“Which one are you interested in?” He was whispering in your direction with an excited smile but you ignored his question due to your lack of an answer and skated back over to an awaiting table.

The next day they were coming in again and you watched them patiently for a few minutes before the nervous one was scurrying off to the bathroom, giving you the chance to smoothly skate over and stand in front of the booth. It took the remaining boy a few seconds to look at you and realize you weren’t Sunoo but he was smiling as soon as he trailed up your uniform and stopped on your face, not relenting even when your eyebrow cocked.

“Hey.” He was breathing out and your nose scrunched slightly at the confidence in his voice, glancing behind you for a second before sighing and tucking your pen behind your ear.

“Why does your friend keep staring at me?” You were asking swiftly and his smile faltered for a second at the sound of your annoyed tone, bored expression on your face as you stared down at him and waited for a response.

You could hear the sound of the bathroom door opening behind you but you didn’t turn, already knowing who it was based off context and the fact the boy sitting down was looking around your frame now and smiling again as he saw his friend returning to the table. It took longer than the walk from the bathroom usually did and you imagined he had frozen for a few seconds when he saw you standing there instead of Sunoo.

“He thinks you’re pretty.” Your eyes were shooting back to the boy who was sitting as he spoke and they stayed on him even when the new figure was sliding into the seat across from him and doing his best to avoid touching you, captivated for a moment by the way he was looking at you.

Then you were breaking away from his gaze to take in the boy you kept catching peeking at you, eyes flickering from his red cheeks to the glasses sat on top of his nose. He was both staring at you intensely and avoiding looking at you at all cost, darting from your face to your hands that were touching the table and then back at his friend with a slightly panicked expression.

“That true? You think I’m pretty?” You were asking him with a slight bite to your words, feeling almost suspicious like they were potentially making fun of you.

You knew you were pretty attractive but at work you weren’t exactly at your hottest, normally sweaty from the beating summer sun through the large windows and the effort that skating around in clean lines all day took. You imagined your hair was frizzing out of its ponytail by now and you typically carried a heavy grimace on your face unless you were attempting to butter up the high tipping regulars.

“He does.” The other boy was answering for him and you turned your gaze back towards him in a glare. “He talks about it all the time.”

“He can’t speak for himself?” You were interrupting harshly but your tense demeanor disappeared slightly when he was shaking his head in denial, glancing back towards the boy with glasses to see him looking much more embarrassed now that you were talking about him. “No he can’t or no he can?”

“I-I can.” He was hurrying to rush out in a stutter and your eyes softened slightly at the way his widened, trying his best to address you directly despite the way his friend was laughing softly across the table.

You turned your head to glare at him again for his small chuckles, feeling oddly protective over the other boy even though he’d been getting on your nerves with his constant distractions and staring. The first boy stopped laughing but kept a small smirk on his face as he watched you, eyes flicking down to your chest for a second as he scanned your name tag before meeting your stare again.

“I’m Jake and he’s Heeseung.” He nodded his head across the table at the latter part and you looked back over to the boy with glasses to see him attempt a small friendly smile in your direction.

You tested out their names in your head for a few seconds before you were sighing and taking your pen out from behind your ear, finally getting around to asking them for their orders and ignoring the way your cheeks were heating up as you skated back behind the counter.

——

Heeseung and Jake continued to come into your work regularly and you continued to ask Sunoo for that table even if it wasn’t on your side, every time flushing bright red at the knowing smirk on his face and eventually being overly grateful when he told you that you didn’t need to keep asking him every single time.

You didn’t speak to the boys much and you definitely weren’t friends but Jake tried to make conversation with you every time you took their order, smirking and leaning forward on the table with his elbows so he could stay in your line of vision even when you tried your hardest to ignore him from the corner of your eye. Heeseung stayed quiet for the most part outside of whispering out his orders but you felt him watching the side of your face the entire time you were around them.

So you weren’t exactly sure why you were accepting their invitation to come to their apartment one weekend after your shift had ended, at first ignoring Jake when he explained there was going to be a small party and he wanted to see you there.

He had smiled at you and wrote down their address anyways on one of the napkins from the metal dispenser, sliding it in your direction and not saying anything else when you snatched it off the table without agreeing to show up.

You were definitely overthinking the fact you’d shown up now considering you definitely hadn’t given any hint that you would be, standing outside their door and being hit with the realization they might not even want you here anymore or maybe it really was a small gathering and they only ordered enough food or drinks for a certain amount of people. You pictured having to stand all night because there wasn’t enough seats and your face pulled into a cringed grimace, getting ready to turn around and leave before the door was swinging open.

You froze for a few seconds before realizing it was just Jake but then you were tensing even more. You were used to seeing him in more casual clothes throughout the day but he was definitely dressing up tonight, sleeves rolled up just above his elbows and your eyes stayed locked on the thick veins in his arms for a few seconds before you were snapping back up to his face.

“You’re early.” He was chiming but that familiar sleazy smile was making its way to his face now after he’d seen you briefly checking him out. You rolled your eyes at his comment but you were grateful when he wordlessly stepped aside to let you pass through the front door.

“You didn’t exactly give me specifics.” You were sarcastically responding as you stood in the entryway, eyes scanning over their apartment and being pleasantly surprised by how normal it seemed.

It was almost overly tidy and you had a strong feeling that was more Heeseung’s doing, spotting stacks of video games pressed tightly onto an entertainment center shelf and perfectly dusted coffee tables with no liquid ring stains unlike how your own looked. You could see a hallway leading away from the main living area and there was three doors, one of them closed completely.

You turned your head to glance back at Jake over your shoulder to find him already watching you, his expression slightly darker now but softening again when he noticed you looking. “Where’s Heeseung?”

“He’s in his room getting ready still.” He was answering smoothly and you assumed the closed door must be his, nodding your head softly and pausing awkwardly for a second before kicking off your shoes by the door. “I think he’s nervous.”

Jake was moving towards the kitchen area as he talked and you watched him curiously as he opened the fridge and took out a drink, waiting for him to continue even when he was turning back around and resting his elbows on the counter as he glanced at you. He seemed to take notice of your curious expression and raised eyebrow, laughing in surprise for a second before he was opening his mouth to speak more.

“I meant it when I said he thought you were pretty and, if you haven’t noticed, he’s not the best with talking to girls.” He was shrugging softly as he talked but you could tell it was a deeper issue between the friends, something they’d definitely talked about before.

You were looking down towards the hallway again and then back at Jake.

“So you’re his wingman.” Your tone was flat as it fell from your mouth and you were taken back at your own directness, for some reason finding yourself grateful when he smiled softly instead of getting offended at your almost harsh level of bluntness.

He was shrugging again and you felt a small wave of frustration pass through you, not necessarily at the boy directly but at the fact he never seemed to give you a straight answer to anything and constantly watched you with that smirk he carried so naturally.

If it was any other situation, you would have figured Jake was the one who was interested in you. He was constantly watching you carefully in a way that almost made your skin crawl if it wasn’t for his easygoing demeanor and gentle way of speaking, especially to Heeseung who he seemed to care deeply for. Deep enough that he was constantly mentioning him any time the two of you were alone and solidifying the fact he didn’t like you himself.

You were sighing under your breath before nodding to yourself and turning on your heel, wandering down the hallway and knocking softly on the closed door before you could see Jake’s reaction, already picturing the amused look that must be on his face.

Despite your knocking, you didn’t actually have the patience to wait for him to come and open the door so it was more so a warning as your hand touched the knob and twisted it to reveal Heeseung standing in front of his mirror as he messed with his hair. His eyes flicked up to the reflection to see who it was coming into his room so suddenly and he froze up completely when he realized it was you, hand stood still in his dark hair and eyes widening a touch.

“Hey.” You breathed out and smoothed down your skirt awkwardly, needing something to do with your hands as you glanced around his room.

You figured your assumptions about the cleanliness of the apartment being his doing were right considering the state of his bedroom and you looked back over at him to see him still frozen in place, snapping back out of it slightly when he realized you were waiting for him to say something.

“H-hi, you’re early.” He was rushing out and turning to finally face you, his hands falling back to rest on the desk and then immediately being brought in front of his stomach instead like he wasn’t sure what to do with them.

“Jake said the same thing.” You told him and you tried your best to smile softly at him, trying to find a way to calm his nerves that were obviously increasing. You glanced at his bed and then back at him with a raised eyebrow, feeling thankful he got the memo and nodded his head softly with slightly parted lips. He watched you intensely as you lowered yourself down on his soft bed, glancing around your surroundings again and taking it in.

“It’s..” He trailed off awkwardly after attempting to start a sentence and your gaze went back to him curiously.

Heeseung was definitely attractive even if he lacked any signs of confidence, never really meeting your eye and instead allowing his more extroverted friend to basically speak for him instead of talking to you himself. It almost made him cuter to you despite not necessarily going for guys like that in the past but you were slightly flattered by how nervous he got whenever you approached their table.

He seemed especially on edge now that you were sitting carefully on his perfectly made bed, out of your stained uniform and dressed in a small skirt that was sliding up your thighs every time you slightly shifted. He was fidgeting with his hands still and you could see a soft blush on his face even though he was avoiding looking at you for more than a few seconds at a time.

“It’s what?” You were trying to coax the rest of his sentence out of him but his body stiffened at the soft tone you’d suddenly taken on, something he hadn’t heard before considering you typically were harshly barking a response towards Jake.

“It’s j-just.. not a bad thing that you’re early.” He was eventually forcing the words out and looking at you briefly to check your reaction, swallowing so hard that it almost looked painful. You were smiling softly but not immediately responding, letting his words hands delicately in the air for a few seconds before you were standing up and approaching him slowly.

He didn’t move away from the desk but he was completely tense now that you were close to him, still not near enough to touch but pretty clear in your intentions when you took another small step. He was so stiff that you were almost worried you were making him uncomfortable if it wasn’t for the many times Jake had told you that he liked you, encouraged you to make a move because Heeseung wouldn’t do it himself.

You were hit with a wave of disappointment and then embarrassment however when he was suddenly taking a few quick steps to the side and placing a hand over his face to try and cover the visible redness, staring at the floor to avoid the hurt on your expression considering he’d basically just ran away from you.

A mean scoff was falling from your lips before you could swallow it and Heeseung winced slightly at the sound, eyes squeezing shut for a second like he was preparing himself to be yelled at. You shook your head even though he wasn’t looking at you and swiftly turned to leave the room before you could embarrass yourself further, storming back down the hall and roughly attempting to put your shoes back on so you could go back home.

“Woah woah woah.” Jake’s voice was coming from the living room, sounding panicked and confused as he quickly stood up from the couch and approached you. You felt his hands touching the bare skin of your arm and you flinched softly before glaring at him, watching as he took the hint and held the hand up in surrender. “Hey, what happened?”

His voice was gentle but you could tell he already had a feeling by the way he was glancing towards the hallway with a similar disappointment on his face.

“You said he liked me.” You spat at him and you were even more mortified considering the embarrassed tears that were threatening to spill, bending back down to try and pull on your other shoe but stopping when you felt his hand touching you again.

He was holding your arm softly and not taking it off this time despite the murderous look you were giving him, squeezing your skin just enough to get your attention as he waited for you to stand back to your full height and focus on him before spreading. “He does, I promise you he does Y/N. He just… he’s inexperienced.”

“Oh you don’t say.” Your laugh was mocking and mean and you would’ve felt more guilty if it wasn’t for the anger coursing through you, more convinced now they had been messing with you.

“I’m serious.” His tone was harsher now that you were seemingly making fun of his friend, his touch still gentle despite the slight edge to his gaze. “He’s never even kissed a girl before.”

“What?” You were fully pausing in your attempts to leave now and staring at him with a bewildered expression, eyes shooting to the hallway and for a second you wondered if Heeseung was potentially listening in on your conversation considering you weren’t exactly whispering.

“Just don’t leave yet, okay?” Jake’s voice was soft and reassuring and your eyes dropped down to the way he was holding your arm for a second before you were nodding in confirmation.

He was letting out a relieved sigh and then disappeared down the hallway quickly, leaving you standing there awkwardly before you decided to go and sit on the couch. What he said hadn’t completely shocked you since you figured Heeseung didn’t have much experience due to his demeanor but you didn’t expect him to be at absolutely zero especially since he was definitely attractive and had at least one outgoing person in his social circle.

It was a few minutes before Jake was coming back down the hallway and searching the room for you, stopping for a beat when he saw you sitting uncomfortably on their couch.

Heeseung was trailing behind him and he somehow looked even more awkward than he had back in his bedroom, shoulders tensed and eyes set on the floor in front of him so he didn’t accidentally make eye contact with you. He only got more unnerved when Jake was sitting on one side of you, leaving him no choice but to sit on your right and sandwich you between them.

Neither of them were touching you but the air was heavy and you were feeling slightly anxious considering you didn’t exactly know them that well and you were sure why Jake had asked you to stay.

“Is somebody going to speak or are you just going to stare at me all night?” Your tone was snappy again and you uncomfortably shifted in your spot when Jake let out a small disappointed sigh even though you had a feeling it had more to do with his silent friend than your harshness.

“He really does like you.” His voice sounded more exhausted now like he was sick of having to repeat it and you looked at him for a few seconds before moving your stare towards Heeseung.

“You do?” Your tone was still on the colder side as you addressed him and his eyes widened for a beat before he was nodding in agreement. You were grateful he atleast could admit it even if he couldn’t say it outright but you were losing your patience for the weird game of telephone that was happening between the three of you. “Kissing isn’t that scary, all you had to do was ask.”

He didn’t say anything, not that you expected any different from him, but you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes slid over your face until he was looking behind you towards his friend.

You sighed softly even though the action spiked your curiosity, shifting so you were facing him on the couch with your back towards Jake, scooting towards the quiet boy so your knee was bumping into the side of his thigh. He swallowed harshly and you spotted a hint of red creeping back up his neck, only worsening when you were leaning closer to him and glancing at his parted lips. “Can I kiss you?”

He seemed startled but not at all by the fact his friend was still in the room, sitting on the same couch as you and watching the two of you intensely as you tried to navigate his silence. He was nodding softly but you could tell he was nervous, even more so when you were leaning forward to press against him and he stayed rigid.

You pecked his lips a few times softly, not able to do much else considering he wasn’t moving at all and you were two seconds from pulling away and abandoning the idea completely before Jake was speaking from behind you.

“Show him properly.” His tone was lower than you’d heard it before and you jumped slightly at the reminder that he was there, his voice closer than you remembered.

“What?” You were turning your body back around to be able to look at him but you paused when you saw the way he was looking at you, close enough now that if you completely turned your head your noses would have bumped into each other.

“That isn’t a kiss.” He was shaking his head just enough for it to be noticeable and his hair fell into his face more, blonde strands covering his eyes and making him look more disheveled than you’d seen him look before. You were offended for half a second and planning to explain to him why kissing Heeseung was almost impossible but you stopped when you realized he was staring down at your lips as they parted to speak.

He seemed to notice you’d stopped because of his gaze and he met your eyes for just a second before he was surging forward to kiss you.

You were only startled for a second before melting against him, leaning forward in his direction when you felt his hand gripping your chin almost harshly and keeping you in place as he moved against you. He was turning your head at an angle and you realized it was to give Heeseung better viewing access, forgetting all about it when Jake was slipping his tongue into your mouth.

He was the complete opposite of Heeseung in general but especially when it came to kissing and you barely had any time to process it, wet and sloppy as he squeezed your face again before pushing your head back so you weren’t touching anymore.

You watched him with a startled expression, slightly dazed from how out of nowhere this all seemed and the lingering feeling of his spit on your chin. You imagined you looked a bit stupid in that moment, eyes wide as you stared at him with slightly squished cheeks between his big hand. He didn’t seem to mind considering he was smiling softly at you for a second before turning your head so you were facing Heeseung again.

You’d almost completely forgotten about him and a wave of embarrassment and guilt washed over you until you realized he looked almost as affected as you did, staring at you intensely with red cheeks and low eyes.

Jake was nudging you in his direction wordlessly and you followed his silent command easily, leaning into Heeseung again and this time finally being able to kiss him properly. He still was amateurish and seemed a bit lost but seeing a direct example must have given him some direction considering he was atleast moving with you now, kissing you much slower and sweeter than how Jake was just a few seconds again.

It felt overly dirty to kiss two people back to back so quickly like this but it strangely sent a fire to your lower stomach instead of disgusting you, feeling the other boys presence and command behind your back even though he wasn’t touching you and hadn’t vocally said anything.

Heeseung was pulling away to take a breath, his glasses sliding down his nose, and you tried to catch your own but you didn’t have a chance considering Jake’s hand was gripping your chin again and turning you back towards him.

His mouth was on yours again and you let out a soft whine at the feeling of him sitting up slightly so he could push himself deeper against you, licking into your mouth so vulgarly that you couldn’t help the gasp that slipped from your mouth into his. Your chest was rising and falling quickly as you got overwhelmed between them, only getting faster when he was turning you softly so you were facing forward.

You were confused for a second before he was pulling off the kiss and grabbing just underneath your knee, pulling your left leg over his lap so you were spread wide open and facing the TV, head lolling back against the couch in a kiss drunk daze when his mouth was moving down your neck and biting down softly on your skin.

His hand was softly caressing your knee that was on top of his lap and you spread your legs more to try and get him to move it up slightly, not even realizing the movement was causing your other leg to be pushed against Heeseung’s frame until he was hesitantly touching the smooth skin of your thigh. He didn’t hitch it over his lap like his friend did but he was at least touching you finally and you gasped softly as you looked at him with hooded eyes.

He still seemed nervous and awkward but you watched a small wave of confidence come over him from your reaction, his hand large enough to cover a lot of your bare thigh and even accidentally hitch closer to your core once he started to rub it softly. You were letting out another small whine and impatiently lifting your hips to try and scoot further down the couch, purposely causing their hands to slide up your legs and finally touch you where you needed.

Heeseung moved his hand back down to your thigh swiftly but Jake stayed touching you under your skirt, a soft chuckle falling from his lips due to your neediness.

“Look at you.” He was speaking in a low tone against your neck and another shiver ran through you when you felt his breath on the side of your face, turning your head a bit so you could look at him as he spoke. “Spread open so nicely for us.”

The use of the word grouping him and Heeseung together didn’t miss you and neither did the dirty feeling it brought along with it, fully processing by now that you were being touched by two different set of hands and their spit was mixing together on your tongue. Your hips rolled on their own as he spoke so vulgarly, eyes shutting in pleasure when you felt his thumb shift closer to your core.

He didn’t waste any time and didn’t bother teasing you any further thankfully, shifting in his spot on the couch so he could watch your reaction even when he hand was sliding up your stomach and then back down inside of your panties, both of you pausing for a second when he made contact with the wetness dripping down your thighs now.

You let out a soft cry at the feeling of him touching you considering how sensitive you were and you didn’t care enough to be embarrassed of the fact you were seconds away from leaking onto their couch, hitching your legs up further to try and get him keep touching you where you needed him most.

Breath hitching next to you caught your attention and you glanced over lazily to see Heeseung staring down at where Jake’s hand had gone, eyes wide as he caught sight of what was happening and saw how wet you’d gotten just from kissing them both. He must’ve felt you staring because he was making eye contact with you seconds later, freezing up until your eyes were dropping down to his lips and a whine was slipping from your mouth again.

He thankfully got the message and he was taking a deep breath before leaning in to kiss you again, his hand on your thigh stilling as he put all of his focus on kissing you softly.

The contrast between him gently kissing you like you were fragile versus Jake roughly gripping your leg and keeping you spread open wide for him was making your head dizzy and you could barely keep up with Heeseung’s mouth. He didn’t seem to mind considering he continued to keep leaning into you and licking softly against your mouth, letting out small gasps and groans everytime you sucked on his tongue or wrapped it with yours.

“Fuck hyung she’s getting so wet from kissing you.” Jake sounded almost pained next to your ear and you wondered if it was from the feeling of your cunt or the sight of you and Heeseung sloppily kissing just a few inches from his face.

Heeseung ignored him but you felt his hand tighten against your thigh at his friends words, rolling your hips again at the feeling and moaning into the boys mouth when Jake’s fingers started to rub your sensitive clit in slow circles. Your hands were coming up to grip onto one of Heeseung’s shoulders, moaning sharply at the sensation and nearly losing your mind from the amount of pleasure you were receiving between them.

“Please please.” You were suddenly begging but you weren’t exactly sure who you were talking to or what you were asking, overwhelmed with desperation for both of them.

“What baby?” Jake was asking softly in your ear again but his tone was almost mocking, still rubbing you with his fingers and keeping your legs spread almost painfully wide. “Tell me what you want and we’ll give it to you.”

You thought for a few seconds the best you could through the haze, glancing at Heeseung for confirmation and watching as he eagerly nodded in agreement before softly squeezing your thigh again. You were opening your mouth to try and request moving further when you were cut off by the sound of fist pounding on the door.

All at once it hit you, the panic of possibly being caught in such a vulnerable position followed by the embarrassment and self disgust considering you were spread between two men that you didn’t know very well, wet around one of their fingers and practically begging for them to keep touching you. You felt like somebody had thrown a bucket of cold water at you and you were swiftly sitting up on the couch, smacking Jake’s hand away and fixing your skirt after he’d removed it.

He watched you for a second with panic in his eyes before the knocking resumed even louder, annoyance settling over his face as he let out a rough sigh and stood up off the couch to go and answer it.

Your hand was shakily coming up to cover your mouth and you tried your best to ignore the fact Heeseung was still sitting next to you, mouth wet from where you’d been desperately licking into the kiss. You could feel him shifting uncomfortably and you were worried he was planning to speak to you so you stood up and quickly rushed down the hallway towards the bathroom as you heard Jake start to greet the guest for the party you’d completely forgotten about.

——

You stayed in the bathroom for around forty minutes until you felt like it was less noticeable you had just been seconds away from getting fingered, waiting for the music to start playing and the sounds of people drinking and loosening up to overwhelm the loud pounding of your heart.

When you ventured back out into the main area you still felt just as embarrassed, being the only person who wasn’t mutual friends with somebody there. You were barely friends with Jake and Heeseung either and you suddenly felt like an intruder despite how intimate you’d all been together less than an hour ago.

You had a few drinks to try and calm your nerves but avoided making conversation with any of the boys friends, pretending you didn’t feel Jake continuously staring and checking on you throughout the night. Heeseung was nowhere to be found for the first hour but eventually you realized that he was hiding out in the corner by the speaker, taking sips out of a half empty cup and looking just as awkward as you felt despite the fact it was his party and these were his friends.

It must’ve been the past annoyance you felt towards his staring at the diner mixed with the alcohol starting to settle over you that drove you in his direction.

He tensed when he saw you steadily approaching but then his gaze was dropping down to your mouth and staying there.

“Stop staring at my lips.” You were spitting out at him and he flinched back at the tone of your voice, glancing around like he was checking to see if anybody had heard you. “Do you guys do this type of shit all the time?”

“W-what? What are you talking about?” He was speaking louder than normal so you could hear him over the music and leaning forward to hear you before deciding against it and pressing back into the corner. His eyebrows were pulled forward in confusion and another wave of annoyance washed over you, this time at yourself for finding him extra cute considering he was almost pouting down at you.

“Find a girl you like and pretend like you don’t have any experience so she fucks you and your friend.” You delivery was sharp and deadpanned like you were overly confident in your discovery but you knew that wasn’t what was happening here exactly, just saying anything to try and hurt him since you were feeling embarrassed.

“How could you say that?” His tone was still soft like it always was but you could tell he was offended by your accusation, pausing and looking over your shoulder so quickly you didn’t even realize it.

You were forced to in a second however when you could feel somebody approaching from behind you, already knowing who it was despite not realizing how loud and heated your conversation with Heeseung had just gotten until you turned your head to see the concerned expression on Jake’s face as he stopped a few inches away from the two of you. “What happened?”

Nobody said anything for a few beats and your jaw clenched with irritation, crossing your arms and feeling embarrassed again now that the two of them were with you. “She thinks we lied and used her.” Heeseung was butting in to explain awkwardly and you shifted uncomfortably when Jake’s surprised gaze shot over to you.

He didn’t immediately move to deny it but you could tell by his expression that he was taken off guard by the fact you were feeling that way, glancing down at your crossed arms under your chest before his gaze was softening and he started to shake his head in denial. You knew by now that you’d been wrong and they weren’t using you but you were too far into your bratty fit to completely backtrack.

Jake’s big hands were coming back up to your arms again like they had earlier when he was stopping you from leaving and your breath hitched when you looked at his fingers, a heat rolling over you at the lingering feeling of him rubbing you slowly under your skirt.

He had originally planned to defend himself and Heeseung but when he noticed your dazed out expression and wandering gaze, he paused and a smirk built back up on his face.

You let him tug you forward by your arms and spin you around softly, facing you towards Heeseung who looked extremely confused by what was happening considering you’d just been bitching him out harshly only a few seconds ago. He watched as his friends hands wrapped around your stomach and pinned your back against his front, staying still against the wall even when Jake was softly moving the both of you to the music and the tension left your shoulders.

“You feel used?” He was whispering in your ear and a breath escaped you, head falling back to land on his shoulder from the pleasure of him rubbing against you. “We aren’t using you but… something tells me you wouldn’t mind.”

The two of you were facing Heeseung which meant your backs were turned towards the party and other guest but it still felt extremely dangerous to be dancing like this, especially when his hand was sliding down your stomach and pushing under the waistline of your skirt. You faltered in place and would’ve tipped forward and fallen if it wasn’t for Heeseung instinctively stepping off the wall and catching you against him.

He tensed along with you considering he was now flush against your front and his hands were holding your hips softly to help steady you.

He was making the move to take a few steps back towards the wall but stopped when your hands were reaching forward to grab onto his shoulders, keeping him pressed against you and titling back again so you could feel Jake on your back. You were completely sandwiched between them now and a small whine slipped out of you when you felt the bolder boys fingers softly rubbing your clit through your underwear.

“Watch her hyung, so filthy for us even when she’s upset.” Heeseung seemed thrown off by being so directly addressed but he followed orders easily, staring down at you intensely and turning red in the face at the way you struggled to keep your eyes open.

You knew he was a lot bigger than both you and Jake but the difference was especially noticeable now that you were all pressed together, towering over the two of you and completely shielding your body from the view of people passing by as his friend continued to touch you.

“Kiss her Hee, I wanna see how wet she can get.” His voice was low and almost a groan and you felt his hips moving again behind you, rubbing his hardness against your back and impatiently rolling up your skirt more so he could drag himself along your folds without the second layer of fabric in the way.

It took him a second but Heeseung eventually listened, leaning down to kiss you now that you were standing and it felt particularly dirty to be meeting his lips in this position. You gasped into his mouth when Jake harshly pinched your sensitive bud, giving him the opportunity to lick into your open lips and stick his tongue deeper than he had earlier.

You were quickly learning that he was an extremely dirty kisser and he almost seemed feverish the longer he felt you against him, momentarily losing his shy demeanor and becoming completely addicted to kissing you so messily. You were turning your head so you could suck his tongue further into his mouth and a wave of satisfaction hit you when he was whining softly and bucking his hips forward, both sending you further into Jake and letting you feel his own hardness.

Jake’s finger was slipping inside you as you practically let his friend fuck your mouth with his tongue, wetness dripping down your thigh and crying out softly at the feeling of his thick digit finally pushing into you.

You were standing onto your tiptoes and dropping back down to try to get him to fuck you with his fingers but he was roughly groping your chest as a warning to stop, biting against your neck softly and moving his hand under your chin. He wasn’t exactly choking you but the feeling of his large hand completely covering your throat brought out another whine that Heeseung quickly swallowed.

“Fuck Y/N you’d let us take you right here wouldn’t you?” His voice was breathy and he rubbed himself against you again in sync with the assault his fingers continued. “Have you taken two cocks before baby or would we have to force them inside?”

You were shaking your head and clawing at Heeseung’s shoulders absentmindedly, breathy moans falling from your lips and stopping you from being able to kiss properly. He took the hint and pulled back to let you speak clearly but his eyes stayed on your wet lips and chin. “Have to force it Jake, would be so tight you wouldn’t fit.”

“Is that what you want angel? You want both of us inside you, fucking your greedy hole so loose.” He was panting as he spoke and you could feel tears coming to your eyes from the speed of his fingers inside you.

His hand on your neck was squeezing tightly for a second and taking your breath from you before he was moving it up to roughly grip your chin, tugging your head straight so you had no choice but to stare up at Heeseung who was watching the two of you with a wild expression, face completely red and glasses slightly skewed from your intense kissing. “Look at him and say it.”

You shook your head for a second and winced, feeling overwhelmingly shy for some reason now that you were looking at the less forward boy despite the fact you were still pressed against him and could feel that he was also hard against your stomach. You could still taste him in your mouth even but you weren’t able to bring yourself to say it right away, snapping back out of it when Jake lifted his hand to lightly slap your cheek in warning.

“I want you.” You were staring up at him as you rushed it out in an embarrassed mumble, your cheeks heating up more but feeling the familiar twist in your stomach when his eyes flashed with something you hadn’t seen before. “Want you both.”

Heeseung was moving forward before you could even process it and suddenly you were kissing again, his big hands coming up to cup your face softly and keep you against him as he fully soaked you in.

You were getting needy and impatient, Jake’s thick fingers not being enough considering the amount of touching and overstimulation you were getting between the two of them. You almost wanted to cry thinking about the party happening behind you, wanting nothing more than to be alone so you could completely give yourself over to the two boys.

It was beyond dirty and completely unlike you considering you weren’t a big fan of hookups in general, never even considering letting two people share you at once, but you’d never craved something so badly and you felt like you’d nearly die if you didn’t get to feel them soon.

Heeseung was pulling off the kiss and watching you as he took deep breaths, eyes frantic and continuously glancing between the way you were panting against Jake’s shoulder and his friends expression as he pushed his fingers deeper inside you.

“Jake, make them leave.” He was muttering quickly and your eyes widened in surprise for a second hearing him speak so directly, a similar reaction happening behind you considering Jake’s hands were stuttering for a second.

They had some sort of silent communication over your shoulder that didn’t take long for you to understand considering Jake was taking his hand out of your skirt and softly leaning you onto Heeseung’s tall frame. You could feel his lips pressing against the side of your head before he was backing up to presumably tell the guest to leave.

Heeseung was awkwardly holding you for a second and you felt slight whiplash from his change of demeanor again, happy when he at least started to move and take you back down to his bedroom.

He was gently laying you on the bed and sitting back up on his knees to watch you for a second, scanning down your body as your chest continued to roughly rise and fall from your near orgasm just a few seconds ago. He was looking more hesitate now like he had originally and your gaze softened as you looked at him watching you so intensely, remembering this was his first time doing something so intense.

Your hand was coming out to grab onto his and he was freezing from his position beside you, kneeling on the bed and towering over you but not looking the least bit intimidating.

“Please touch me Hee.” Your voice was still coming out in a whine, desperately tugging on his hand to try to get him to fulfill your request. His eyes widened at your tone and he glanced down at your hand over his before shaking his head softly, stuttering out something you couldn’t understand. “Please baby please, I’ll show you how but I can’t wait.”

“F-fuck we should really let Jake come back, I won’t be any good.” He was shaking his head again but not moving his hand away when you were lifting it and placing it against your stomach, your muscles clenching under his warm skin and a heavy breath slipping from your lips.

Heeseung watched you with wide eyes as you pushed his hand under your skirt, struggling a bit and whining softly considering he wasn’t helping at all. You released his hand for a second and thankfully he didn’t remove it from your stomach, giving you the chance to unbutton it and pull it down your legs so he could have more access.

You were holding his wrist softly and moving him back down towards your underwear, back arching up off the bed in a small cry when he was finally touching you over the fabric and you heard his breath catch in his throat when he felt your wetness soaking the material.

“You’re s-so good please Hee please.” You were crying out softly and rocking your hips up against his hand, a handful of tears slipping from your eyes considering you were so overwhelmed and he still wasn’t really touching you. “Fuck you’re so big.”

The last comment slipped out accidentally, completely distracted by the fact his hand almost covered the entirety of your cunt, but it seemed like he liked it considering he was shifting on the bed and finally applying some pressure to you.

A low moan sounded through the room and it took you a second to even realize it was coming from you, his fingers soft and inexperienced as he started rubbing you and you felt him tense when your wet panties were sliding to the side and he was touching your bare cunt for the first time. Your hands were instinctively coming up to hug his arm and try to tug him down towards you, grateful when he shifted so he was laying beside you and not kneeling anymore.

He kept his fingers on you even when you were pulling him in for a messy kiss, gliding your tongue over his lips and moaning into his open mouth when his fingers slipped again and applied more pressure.

You didn’t realize Jake had entered the room even after the bed dipped down under his weight, only snapping out of your haze when Heeseung removed his lips from yours so he could stutter out an apology to his friend. You were sitting up slightly to look at him and a whine left you automatically seeing how dark his gaze was as he watched you desperately moving against his friends hand.

“She’s as much yours as she is mine.” He was dismissing the other boys apology in a curt statement but it made your head spin, the implication of them both owning you together sending another wave of heat through you and another sob hit you. “Hyung, hold her legs open for me.”

Heeseung was pausing like he was trying to figure out how to do that, eventually scooting behind you so he could tug you up between his legs. You were resting against his chest and stomach, elbows on his thighs and you could feel how hard he was pressed tight to your lower back. He moved you easily, like you barely weighed anything and his size made you ten times wetter than you had been before.

You felt extra exposed now that his hands weren’t covering you, embarrassment coming back when he was hitching up your knees so he could spread your legs and completely expose you to Jake who was watching the two of you curiously.

“Look how messy she is. She must really like you hyung.” He was smiling at the two of you but it didn’t meet his eyes fully, something darker and more intense behind his expression and you tried not to feel too intimidated when he was moving closer to you on the bed.

He watched you for a second more before he was pressing a kiss against your knee, moving his lips down your right thigh and pausing for just a second before he was putting his mouth on your wet core. A gasp flew out of you and you would’ve clamped his head in your thighs if it wasn’t for Heeseung’s hand gripping your knee tightly and keeping them spread open.

“Fuck fuck.” Your hips were instinctively moving with Jake’s mouth, practically making out with your dripping pussy and you were once again overwhelmed in a way you’d never experienced before. Heeseung was softly brushing your hair out of your face with his free hand but you barely even noticed, the room filling up with the sounds of Jake’s mouth on you.

His tongue was pushing past your folds and prodding at your entrance, drawing another low whine from you when he was glancing up at you from between your legs. His eyes were mischievous and you could barely hold the eye contact for more than a few seconds, leaning back against Heeseung’s chest and gripping his arm for support.

“Take her top off.” He was pulling off of you to speak to the boy behind you and your eyes locked on your wetness coating his chin, his lips quirking into a smirk when he noticed what you were focusing on before he was softly kissing your thigh again.

Heeseung easily sat you up, almost rough in the way he was moving you so weightlessly if it wasn’t for how gentle his hands were. He was pulling your top off and fixing your hair before pausing and you felt his hips twitch from underneath you, figuring he just be looking at your bare chest. You knew he wouldn’t move on his own so you didn’t bother waiting, taking his free hand that wasn’t on your knee and forcing him to roughly pull at your chest.

Jake was smiling at your neediness before going back between your legs, the pleasure from his mouth paired with Heeseung’s hands on your chest and nipples was almost too much and you only lasted about thirty seconds before you were roughly tugging on the younger boys hair to warn him to stop.

He froze completely and looked up at you, beautiful between your legs and even more so with the concern in his gaze. He quickly realized what you were needing however and he lost the soft expression.

“Sure you can take us both?” He was asking as he sat up on his knees, looping his hands under your thighs and tugging you forward so you were sliding closer to him on the bed. Your head was on Heeseung’s lap now and he let out a soft whine when you were instinctively nuzzling against the hardness in his pants, your cheek pressing on him.

You didn’t bother with verbally answering him considering how dizzy you felt, knowing your voice would just come out slurred and weak, but you spread your legs more in front of him so he could fully get the memo. His eyes were darkening more before he was gesturing something you couldn’t understand to the boy behind you, a cry coming from your lips when he was shifting and moving away from you.

“Be patient sweet girl, he’s just moving down here.” Jake’s voice was coming through again and a pout formed on your face instinctively at his soft tone, getting close to release twice now without finishing and feeling overly sensitive and needy. “She’s pretty isnt she?”

You were confused for a second about who he was talking to until you realized Heeseung was down by the end of the bed now, fully seeing you for the first time since he’d undressed you and staring at your body with widened eyes. They flickered up to yours when he realized you were watching and waiting for a response.

“So pretty, she’s so pretty.” His voice was weak and Jake laughed softly at the taken tone his friend had, nodding in agreement before he was shifting again.

“Gonna fuck you first alright baby? Get you nice and ready for hyung.” His voice was dropping lower and getting more serious, tugging his shirt over his head and barely giving you a second to process anything before he was undoing his belt with one hand, holding your legs open with the other.

“Both I want both.” You were whining out in disagreement, a small sob hitting you again at the thought of not being stretched by both of them together.

Jake paused for a second before he was glancing to his side towards Heeseung, waiting and having some silent communication together until he was turning back towards you and nodding. “You’ll get us both don’t worry, still need to stretch you first.”

You were almost worried he’d go back to using his fingers, as much as you liked them inside you you were starting to think you’d die if you didn’t have something bigger in the next few seconds. Thankfully he seemed to be feeling the same considering he was wasting no time before lining himself up with your entrance, kissing your forehead quickly before pushing inside you.

Your breath caught in your throat and your back arched off the bed instinctively, bunching the sheets up in a tight fist and you wished Heeseung was close enough to hold onto. You didn’t get a chance to look at Jake’s size but he was clearly bigger than you had planned for considering the stretch you were feeling just from his thick tip inside you, a pained cry filling the room at the same time he hissed in pleasure.

“Fuck Y/N, how are you so fucking tight.” He was speaking through clenched teeth and his head dropped down onto your shoulder, shutting his eyes to try and calm down before he came too early. “Baby you’ve got to stop clenching around me or I won’t last.”

“You’re hurting her Jake.” Heeseung’s concerned voice was coming from the right and you glanced over at him, face pulled into a grimace still but softening slightly at the worry on his face.

It made you feel better that he was more concerned with your pleasure than potentially not being able to fuck you but you almost sobbed again at the thought of not getting to feel him tonight and you quickly started to shake your head and reach a hand out towards him.

“Can take it, I can take it I promise.” You didn’t need to say much for Jake to believe you considering he was using your distraction as the perfect time to fully push his length inside you.

Your hands were wrapping around his back to claw at his skin, somehow not noticing how broad he was until he was on top of you like this but you felt the familiar heat of pleasure finally resurfacing below the pain and you practically whimpered at the boy. “Please fuck me, please I need it.”

He was kissing your lips gently before taking a second to adjust his position, meeting your eyes and then pulling himself nearly all the way out of you. The previous stretch did almost nothing to prepare you for the feeling of him slamming back inside you, never feeling so stuffed before and almost getting lightheaded from how full of his cock you were. You couldn’t imagine fitting more inside you but you glanced back at Heeseung and another wave of desperation hit.

Jake let out a low growl before he was aggressively lifting you up off the bed, holding you still in his lap for a moment with a slow buck of his hips to keep you moaning and whining and you vaguely heard him barking an order towards the other boy.

You didn’t fully understand what was happening, rocking your hips and riding Jake lazily with continued cries and begs for him to lay you back down and fuck you properly. When he was finally listening and laying you back down on the bed, this time Heeseung was behind you and a breath of relief escaped you.

Part of you felt guilty that his first time wasn’t necessarily romantic or intimate but it was hard to think about when he started to push his cock into you alongside Jake’s, the stretch almost unbearable and you heard Jake spit out something else you couldn’t make out.

You assumed he was telling the inexperienced boy to stop because he froze up underneath you and laid his forehead on sweaty shoulder, small whimpers vibrating your skin as he tried to stop himself from either pushing all the way inside before you were ready or cumming from the tight and wet squeeze.

“Fuck she’s so wet.” His voice behind you was making you dizzy, taking on a deeper tone you hadn’t heard from him before and you reached a hand back just to feel any part of his skin.

The two boys helped lower you back onto their cocks and you nearly blacked out from how deep they were inside you, the pleasure multiplied by the fact they were both sharing your hole together and you were finally going to be fucked open by them.

“Gonna ruin this pussy for anyone else.” Jake was whispering it into your mouth and you watched him with widened eyes, shivering when he was licking against your tongue sloppily before tugging your head back by your hair so you were resting against Heeseung’s shoulder. “Always gonna need two cocks filling this nasty hole up, never going to be satisfied with just one again.”

“Please.” You were gasping the word out in one breath, repeating it a few times in a slurred fit of begging before trying to gather as much energy as you could to lift yourself up and down on their cocks. You failed and fell back down on shaky thighs, crying softly and rolling your hips slightly. “Fuck me please fuck me, ruin me. I want to be yours.”

That seemed to cause something to snap in the boy in front of you and he wasted no more time, aggressively fucking himself inside you and at the same time lifting you up a bit so you were coming back down onto Heeseung’s cock too, helping the other boy set a steady rhythm considering he was already close just from the foreplay you’d had earlier since he was particularly sensitive.

“You’re ours, gonna fucking ruin you.” Jake was talking continuously into your shoulder but you were barely able to hear him after a few seconds, lost in the feeling of the stretch and how deep they were inside you. Both boys were caging you in and someone’s hands were roughly playing with your nipples, anothers tugging your hair and it was all so much you hardly felt like you were able to breathe.

You were a mess of skin and lust, your whines mixing with a combination of their low moans and you were suddenly very grateful they’d cleared out the apartment so you didn’t have to worry about biting your tongue.

Heeseung was reaching forward to press down on your stomach and you heard a groan slip out of him. “Fuck dude, I can feel us inside her.”

That seemed to be enough for him considering he was sucking in a sharp breath, worrying you for a second before you realized he was cumming inside you. You were upset for half a second before you thought about both of them filling you up with their cum, mixing together and leaking out of your used hole onto Heeseung’s bed.

“Cum inside Jake.” You were begging him and he gave you a bewildered look, almost seeming like he was going to disagree until he leaned back and saw the absolute desperation and need on your face. His jaw clenched and he was fucking you even rougher, barely noticing his friend slipping out of you and helping you rock against Jake since you were both exhausted.

He was rushing forward to kiss you and your teeth clashed, drunk from the taste of his spit in your mouth and his cock slamming into you even after he was coming undone and filling you up even more. Heeseung’s hands were slipping between you and Jake to rub your clit softly and surge of pride hit you, moaning into Jake’s mouth and letting him suck your tongue into it.

The extra stimulation was all you needed to fall apart and both boys held you between them as your hips twitched and your stomach clenched in pleasure, feeling Jake slip out of you so he could watch the way your hole clenched around nothing and started to leak with the mess the three of you had caused.

You were too exhausted to feel awkward even though now that they weren’t stuffing you so full you couldn’t think, you were slightly humiliated and feeling a bit dirty from how sweaty you were between the two friends.

All it took was a hand from behind you gently rubbing your stomach and a soft kiss on your forehead from the other boy to calm your nerves, falling back onto the bed together in a mess of limbs and nervous giggles.

[heavenlyvision]

Why are you sorry?

This is a second part to Truth or Dare with Kung Lao, read that part ˗ˏˋhereˎˊ˗

Word count: 12.8k

Pairing: Raiden x F!Reader

A/N: It is done! It's a bit longer than I had planned for it to be but not by much <3 hopefully you all enjoy :) if it's not quite comprehensive, it's because I am listening to Hozier's new ep while editing and I maybe was not paying as much attention as I should have been :3

Summary: Things in the house are tense when Raiden finds out about your night with Kung Lao but even more than that, you are confused on how you're feeling about both your roommates.

Warning: 18+ only, smut, praise kink, fingering, minor handjob, spit as lube, p in v sex, multiple orgasms, squirting, big dick raiden lol, no use of y/n !!

MDNI | SMUT UNDER CUT

Not much at all has changed since what happened between you and Kung Lao, he’s been more affectionate? You guess, or more openly touchy but he doesn’t cross any lines and you haven’t even kissed since that day. You’re a little bit confused on what you’re meant to do now, should you ask him what you mean to each other or are you reading into things too much? Was it just a one-time thing? But then why did he say to only sleep with him?

Being casual is not something you’ve ever done before and you aren’t even sure if that’s what you are doing. You’ve been too scared to ask because you don’t even know what you want from him… you’re just worried about your friendship. Things have been mostly the same though, as in, it’s not awkward, you’ve both just gone back to how things were.

It’s the weekend and you’re playing a game of cards, ‘bullshit’ to be precise, you wanted to play scrabble – naturally – but both Raiden and Kung Lao outright refused to play with you. It was mean, this is the only time they ever gang up on you, well this and your wellbeing. Whatever, you’re more upset about being denied a scrabble game, Kung Lao played one game with you after you deleted the shy strangers phone number and cancelled your date with him but he hasn’t agreed to a game since and you feel slighted.

Pushing your thoughts to the side you glare at Raiden; he’s glaring back at you over the top of his cards. Moving slowly, he places two on the pile in the middle, “Two… queens,” he raises a brow at you.

You can’t tell if he’s lying or not but you’re too scared to call him either way, considering you currently hold a hefty amount of the deck in your hands, sighing you place three cards down, “Three kings,” both Raiden and Kung Lao share a look but ultimately don’t call you on it.

Kung Lao’s smile twitches slightly, “Three aces,” he boldly claims, placing his last three cards onto the table.

You squint at him and then laugh slightly, “Bullshit!”

“Wha– how did you know?” He exclaims

Raiden shakes his head at his stupidity, lightly snorting at the scene.

You fully laugh at him now, “I have all four aces, dunce, pick up the damn deck!”

Kung Lao groans dramatically, “Ugh, this is no fair when you have… every card ever,” he complains, picking up the cards on the table.

“Use your brain some more and you could’ve ended the game,” you smile at him.

“Whatever,” he rolls his eyes, “Raiden, carry on,” he huffs.

Raiden eyes his hand for a sec before placing two, “Two threes.”

The game continues around for a bit, mostly it’s just you and Kung Lao stopping Raiden from winning, he tries to bullshit but since both of you have a large chunk of the deck it’s proving to be a little difficult. This game is better played with a few more people. Both your hands start dwindling though and it’s all becoming muddled as the deck is split more and more. You’re losing track of what you’ve lied about at this point but you’ve somehow gotten yourself down to two cards and they’re a pair, they’re just not the pair you need right now.

Luckily for you, Kung Lao calls Raiden on his two fours, a risky move, considering the pile on the table has grown very large, “Bullshit.”

Raiden smiles at Kung Lao, “Have a look.”

Kung Lao is already groaning in annoyance as he flips the cards over to see, he was in fact, not bullshitting, “How are you good at like, every game we play, this sucks,” he grumbles to himself as he picks up the cards on the table.

It’s your turn now and you place both your cards down, “Two fives, I win,” you smile victoriously.

“Uh uh, not so fast, I call bullshit,” Kung Lao points at you.

You raise a brow at him, lips quirked up in a very self-satisfied way, “Check?” He squints at you and flips the cards, the cards that are in fact, a pair of fives. Kung Lao’s head falls to the table in defeat and Raiden starts laughing, hard. “Should’ve trusted me,” you shrug simply.

“This is crap,” Kung Lao laments, head still planted on the table.

You elbow his ribs, “Bullshit even?”

“You have too many trust issues, Kung Lao,” Raiden chastises him.

Kung Lao ignores him and continues wallowing in his shameful loss, “Just a few rounds ago… I was going to win…”

“…But you didn’t, because you suck,” you snicker at him.

He turns his head to the side to look at you, “That is just plain mean.”

The pair of you look at each other for a bit, apparently in a suspicious way because it prompts Raiden to state, “Something has happened between you two, something has changed.”

“What?” You question, taken aback.

Kung Lao denies, “Nothing has changed.”

“That wasn’t a question, I was stating. Something has changed, what was it?” Raiden scrutinises the both of you, looking back and forth between you.

You feel shy under his eyes and look away, you’d prefer he didn’t know that you slept with Kung Lao, you aren’t sure why but it hurts. You don’t regret sleeping with Kung Lao but you also feel like… you don’t want Raiden to know about it.

Kung Lao doesn’t shy away from Raiden, in fact, he looks proud of whatever he may or may not have done.

Raiden takes a moment to assess you both closely and then concludes, “You slept together.”

You go to deny, “No!”

“Yes,” Kung Lao confirms, and you pinch his side, “Ow, what was that for, he already figured it out.”

Raiden pinches the bridge of his nose, “When… when was it?”

“Couple weeks ago,” Kung Lao shrugs easily, no guilt at all, or if there is, he’s hiding it well.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Raiden asks, “Is it going to happen again?”

You answer, “I… don’t know–”

“–Probably,” is Kung Lao’s answer.

You shoot him a look from the corner of your eye and he looks blasé, not really understanding why you’re so uncomfortable or guilt ridden.

Kung Lao leans back in his chair and stretches, “Is it such a big deal?”

“I cannot say I am overjoyed at the news,” Raiden closes his eyes, thinking for a moment.

“Raiden… we’re sorry,” you try apologising.

“Speak for yourself, I am sorry for nothing, best lay of my life,” Kung Lao interjects.

Smacking him you say, “Ew, don’t be crass.”

Kung Lao adds smugly, “You didn’t seem to mind when–”

“–I am going to my room,” Raiden sighs, moving away from the table and heading back to his bedroom.

You feel… so bad for Raiden, sighing you look at Kung Lao, “What the hell? Can’t you see he’s obviously upset at us?”

“Yeah and I don’t get why, it was just sex,” he shrugs back.

“Just sex?” you clarify.

His brows pull together inquisitively, “…Really good sex?”

“You’re a dick,” you shake your head solemnly, angrily packing the cards away before heading back to your room too.

Kung Lao sits at the table, confused as to what the hell just happened.

𝜗𝜚

When you wake up in the morning, you can hear Kung Lao and Raiden thumping around in the kitchen. Their voices are muffled but you can tell they are not happy with each other, their voices are raised but hushed, the walls between your room and the kitchen also dilute the sound. Getting out of bed, you walk towards them, catching the tail end of their argument.

Kung Lao groans, “Ugh, Raiden! It was just sex, why are you so annoyed at us?”

Hearing him say that again, makes your heart pang and your footsteps slow, taking your time in getting to the kitchen.

Raiden is silent for a moment, assumedly glaring at him, “Would you be so nonchalant if she and I had slept together?”

Kung Lao stands there idly, his expression showing that, no, he would not be so relaxed about it.

“Exactly,” Raiden sighs, turning back to the sink, scrubbing at the dishes.

Something clicks for Kung Lao in that moment though and he frowns as he has his silent realisation about Raiden, watching him impatiently and trying to think of something to say.

Moving closer to the kitchen, you lean against the archway and ask, “Why are you both arguing so early in the morning?”

“It is nothing, do not worry about it,” Raiden dismisses, his focus on the dish he’s cleaning.

Kung Lao shakes his head before gesturing to you, “No, well let’s see, would you be upset if you were in his position?”

“Would I be upset if you two slept together?” You snicker at him.

He frowns and looks at you straight on, “Come on, you know what I meant.”

“Sorry, sorry,” you wave a hand at him and walk into the kitchen, sitting on one of the counters, “But yeah, I probably might be, we’re not just all friends, we’re also roommates, it makes the situation a bit uncomfortable, no?” sighing, you roll your neck and add, “I told you at the time… it might end up being a bad idea.”

Kung Lao also sighs, knowing you’re right, he turns back to Raiden, “I do not know what you want us to do to make this better.”

Raiden ignores him, seemingly done with talking.

You go to lighten the mood, offering, “Well… I could always sleep with Raiden and make it even.”

“What? No! That is not what I–” Kung Lao’s words are frantic.

Raiden turns to face the pair of you, “–Well, why not? She slept with you and I thought it was ‘just sex’,” he throws Kung Lao’s words back in his face and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t bring you a little sense of joy.

It’s silent for a moment, both of you looking at Kung Lao, who is scratching at the back of his head and thinking really hard, he hesitates momentarily, “I guess… she can sleep with whoever she wants…”

It hurts again, hearing that, especially since those weren’t his sentiments those few weeks ago but now you’re wondering if that’s just something he said and didn’t actually mean. Did he mean any of it? Or was he just really horny? Raiden eyes you carefully, catching something that you thought you were hiding well. You shy away from his gaze, how he always manages to read your feelings gets annoying when you’re specifically trying to hide something that you can’t even identify yourself.  

Raiden wipes his hands off on a towel, “I am… not annoyed with you both…” Kung Lao and you give him a look and he breathes out an annoyed but amused sound, “Alright, I cannot say I am overjoyed but I am not… angry, you can do whatever you want.”

It’s fairly obvious that Raiden is still… upset but you’re also inclined to believe him, you think he’s trying fairly hard to not be upset about Kung Lao and you sleeping together. At least, you think he’s trying to not be angry at you both but you can tell he’s feeling some type of way about what happened.

It’s silent again in the kitchen as Raiden puts the clean dishes away, only the clanking of porcelain remains. The three of you not really sure what to say, the atmosphere tense, this is something you were worried about happening but you have no idea what to say to make this situation better and your heart continues to ache because of it.

Breaking the quiet, you suddenly ask, “Do you mean it, Kung Lao? I can sleep with whoever I want?”

Raiden stands stock still, feeling like he’s intruding in on a conversation he should not be privy to.

Kung Lao looks at you, his eyes slightly widened in shock, put on the spot suddenly, “I mean, yeah… we are not… exclusive and you have your own autonomy, do as you like.”

“Right,” you force yourself to sound agreeable, not wanting to show your souring mood, “I am going back to bed, you two need to start getting along again or I am going to do something drastic,” you point at both of them, your tone full of mirth, back to teasing them.

Before they can say anymore to you, you’re heading back to your room and crawling into bed. You don’t sleep, even though you try, you just lay there for a bit, numb. This awkwardness, this uncomfortableness and the weird feelings, is exactly why you said sleeping together was a bad idea. You wish you’d had more will power to stick to your guns but you let your judgement be clouded by emotions and feelings you aren’t even completely able to explain.

The time ticks by while you lay flat on your back in bed, staring up at the ceiling, motionless. You can hear the guys stomping around the house, their footsteps tracking back and forth as they go about their days, you know you’ll have to get up soon and be productive but you don’t know if you really feel like it. Everything feels like effort right now and you don’t have a good reason as to why.

Soft taps on your door force you to sit up, calling out as you do, “What?”

“Are you going to come out of your room at all today?” It’s Raiden’s voice, he’s clearly concerned but it also feels like you’re being scolded by a parent rather than being checked in on by a worried friend.

“No.”

He’s quiet for a moment before speaking again, “…Kung Lao has gone out… if that changes your answer at all.” You grunt out at him in acknowledgement and he asks, “Do you… want to hang out?”

You consider him for a moment before smiling to yourself, “Can I braid your hair?” you’ve asked him multiple times before and he always says no, you’re hoping he acquiesces this time.

He asks though the door, “Is anything else going to make you leave your room?”

“No.”

“Not even scrabble?” He challenges.

You feel yourself perk up a bit at that but ultimately decide, “No, not even scrabble.”

A soft sigh leaves him as he gives in, “Fine.”

You giggle as you pull yourself out of bed quickly and race over to the door, pulling it open to reveal Raiden in front of you, already looking regretful at agreeing to this, “Amazing, let me get my stuff and I’ll be right out.”

He hums at you, “Take your time,” he says as he walks away to the living area.

It takes you no time at all to collect your brush and hair ties, not wanting to give him the chance to change his mind. Your footsteps are rushed as you shuffle out of your room and into the lounge with Raiden, he’s sat on the couch waiting patiently for you, half wishing you changed your mind and want to play scrabble instead. When he sees the stupid, giddy smile on your face though, he finds himself not really minding that he’s agreed to this.

“Okay, sit on the floor,” you direct, moving to sit on the couch yourself.

He supresses his smile at your happiness and moves to the floor, “How long are you going to drag this out for?”

“Only until you look really pretty,” you snicker.

You spread your legs, him sat between them on the floor, his frame is larger than you have ever taken notice of. It’s hard to ignore Kung Lao’s stature, he’s frequently shirtless and showing off… but Raiden is just as built and you find yourself forgetting that a lot. You’re careful as you undo his hair, not wanting to pull too harshly and hurt him.

His hands come up to yours, placing them over top and stopping your movements, “You could pull harder, I will not break,” he half laughs, “But I got it.” He tugs his hair free of the bun.

Your skin heats slightly as his touch feels like it lingers on your skin, even as he’s moved them back to his lap, he was so gentle, his hands so large. Shaking your head slightly, you bring your attention back to the task at hand, you run your hands through his hair a bit, it’s soft, softer than you were expecting.

“You have soft hair,” you mention mindlessly.

Raiden scoffs, “Were you expecting otherwise?”

You grab the brush and start gently untangling his hair, “A little… yes.”

He mumbles out, “Rude.”

Your tone is full of mirth, “Hey! You’re the farm boy, what else was I supposed to expect?”

“I am clean! Thank you very much,” he’s pretending to be offended.

“Hmmm, I am not convinced,” you prod further.

He drops his head back onto the couch between your legs, looking up at you, “I can leave? If I am so unclean?”

“No, I am sure you’re so clean, the cleanest even,” you smile innocently.

He smiles back at you but rolls his eyes at the same time and then raises his head again, letting you continue to brush it.

“Where has Kung Lao gone?” You ask him.

He hums at you, “It is his turn to run errands… but he will probably get distracted, knowing him.”

Your laugh is airy as you recount, “It’s sweet though, he plays with the kids, he can’t help but get roped into their games.”

“It is nice until you actually need whatever it is he went out for,” he grumbles slightly.

You continue brushing his hair, “Remember when he didn’t come home until sundown?”

Raiden’s face scrunches at the memory, “Yes… I remember, all I wanted was tea and had to wait hours for it.”

“What about the time you had to go looking for him,” you remind.

He scoffs, “It was getting so late, for all I knew he could have fallen in a hole and gotten stuck.”

You laugh a lot at that, Kung Lao has a bad habit of getting really involved in whatever game the kids are playing, sometimes he even lets them win… if he’s feeling benevolent, that is. There are a lot of memories that both you and Raiden share of having to wait on him longer than expected because he was trying to win a game of hide and seek or something similar. It can get annoying but for the most part, it’s just endearing.

Mindlessly, you continue to untangle Raiden’s hair, though it’s mostly untangled now, it wasn’t even that bad to begin with, you’re just caught up in thinking of all the times Kung Lao did something kind or stupid, stuff that makes you laugh at how dumb he’s being.

“Are you okay?” Raiden asks suddenly.

You drop the brush onto the couch, coming back to yourself, “I’m fine.”

The scepticism in his tone is hard to miss, “And that is why you spent all morning in bed… because you are fine?”

“…Yes?”

His hand wraps around your ankle, the only part of you he can reach without moving too much, “You do not have to talk about it if you do not want to… but I can tell something is bothering you.”

You rub at your eyes, thinking, “It’s not and I am fine, I am just… confused.”

He pushes, “About?”

“Kung Lao has just… said some conflicting things… whatever, it doesn’t matter,” your hands drop back to your lap.

Raiden thinks for a moment before asking you a question you don’t have a concrete answer to, “Do you want to be with him?”

You don’t know what you want from him, so you answer honestly, “I don’t… I don’t know, like I said, I’m confused.” You fiddle with your fingers, “I am sorry though… I mean, I don’t regret sleeping with him but I am sorry… for upsetting you.”

“I am not upset at you, and you have nothing to apologise for,” he’s taken aback by your apology to him, not expecting it.

“Good.” You smile to yourself, “I’m gonna start braiding your hair now then.”

He slumps a bit, “Go for it.”

Moving your hands, your fingers delicately brush his hair away from his forehead, pulling it back, you’re careful as you collect the hairs by his temples. Grabbing three strands, you start the braid, collecting more as you go. Raiden holds still for you, letting you quietly do your thing. Aside from your small humming the house is silent, he doesn’t mind it though, he’s not even sure you’re aware that you’re doing it. He doesn’t want to bring your attention to it though, he doesn’t want you to stop.

It tickles him when your hands gently brush against his neck, gathering stray hairs. You’re being so gentle with him, soft brushes of your fingers against his skin, light tugs of his hair when it’s uncooperative, it’s overwhelming him. Your legs either side of his body close in on his sides, he’d started moving unconsciously and you’re attempting to keep him still.

“Hold still, please,” you murmur, still focusing on his hair, wanting it to look nice. He involuntarily moves again and it causes you to tug at his hair, it jolts him and he has to bite his lip to stop himself from whimpering aloud, “Shit, sorry, Rai,” you apologise to him guiltily.

“No, that was my fault,” he’s quick to reply, not wanting you to feel bad.

He’s feeling uncomfortable, particularly in the lower region, your touch and proximity is setting him on edge and he can’t help the way he grows pitifully hard at just your hands in his hair and legs hugging his sides. You don’t notice anything though, still braiding his hair, humming to yourself again. Somehow, even the sound of your soft, singsong tone, has his erection throbbing in his pants. This is part of the reason why he always said no to you doing his hair, he doesn’t trust his reactions to you.

The pressure of your legs holding him still is filling his head with images that are more… graphic in nature, the context completely shifting in his mind. Instead, imagining your legs hugging his waist as he–

You lean down beside him and speak next to his ear, “I am done!”

His train of thought is cut short but the effects of it remain, he’s flush in the face and fully erect. Feeling beyond embarrassed right now and wanting to leave the room without it being suspicious, he’s actively thinking of ways to remove himself from this situation.

“Great… thanks, I am sure it looks great,” he rushes out quickly, trying to appear normal but failing miserably.

You shuffle to the side more, trying to see his face as you ask, “Are you okay, Rai?”

He turns to look at you, his skin heating at how close you are, “I am.”

Your brows pull together, “Are you sure? You look a little flush… do you feel sick?”

He feels like there’s a lump in his throat, “I feel fine, honest.”

You hum at him in thought before leaning into him and pressing your forehead to his, your hand coming up to rest your knuckles against his cheek, “You feel a little warm.”

Raiden feels like he may pass out, any chance he had of redirecting his thoughts and calming down are gone. You’re so close and you smell so nice and your hand is so soft against his skin and your lips are right there.

As you pull back slightly, he takes a shaky breath, your hand comes away slowly, as if to give him time to stop you. You both look back at each other silently for what feels like too long but is only probably a few seconds, ultimately you’re interrupted by Kung Lao walking through the front door and into the house.

“…Hey guys,” Kung Lao greets, a little confused by the scene in front of him.

You pull away from Raiden completely and sit back on the couch, your legs coming away from his sides as you pull them up onto the cushions, “Hey,” your tone comes across as slightly dismissive but you smile politely at him.

Raiden clears his throat, “What took you so long?”

“Before we discuss that, we have to talk about your hair,” he replies, voice full of mirth.

“No! Don’t mock him! I did that for him and I think it looks very nice,” the last thing you want is for Raiden to get mocked so severely by Kung Lao that he doesn’t let you do his hair ever again.

Kung Lao raises his occupied hands in defence, “Sorry, sorry! I love it so much, it does look… very nice,” he’s holding back a laugh, you can tell by the way his face is scrunching up and his mouth twitches.

“You’re next,” you squint, pointing a finger at him, feeling slighted on Raiden’s behalf.

Raiden interrupts before Kung Lao can attest, “I do not think he deserves such an honour!”

“You know what, you’re right, my hair braiding skills are too good for him,” you raise your head up and away from Kung Lao, playing up your offence.

Kung Lao squints at Raiden who looks back at him with an incredibly smug look on his face, clearly proud of keeping this act between the two of you. Happy that he’s convinced you to deprive Kung Lao of an intimate moment like the one you had just shared. Maybe he’s being petty but also… maybe he doesn’t care.

You glance back at them and laugh at their battle, unaware of the very real and very tense underlying emotions between them, “Anyways, what took you so long? Fall in a hole?”

Kung Lao looks back to you and his gaze softens but still contains a teasing edge, “No… I just got really involved in a game.”

Raiden scoffs and you hum a small laugh, “Yeah, we had assumed as much, at least you came back without us having to come and get you.”

Kung Lao groans and rolls his neck before walking into the kitchen, calling back, “Come on, you have only had to come and get me a handful of times.”

Raiden sighs, “Two handfuls, maybe.”

You’re thoroughly amused and you giggle softly but take the lull in the conversation as an opportunity to leave the room. Choosing to hide yourself back in your room before either of them can question you on what you’re doing or where you’re going. It felt normal, the conversation between the three of you, for the most part anyways but you still can’t help but be upset at Kung Lao and that frustrates you more because you don’t feel like you have a good reason to be upset with him. You’re friends, not lovers, you don’t even know if… you don’t even know if you like him like that.

The only thing you wish had changed… was that he didn’t say the things he did only to contradict himself later. If he hadn’t done that, you think… maybe, you wouldn’t be this upset… or at least not this confused.

𝜗𝜚

It’s unintentional but you ended up drifting to sleep too early in the evening and now you’re awake at some ungodly hour in the morning, it’s too dark in your room to read the clock on your wall. All you know, is that it has to be late and you’ve just had the kind of nap that takes you a few seconds to readjust to real life after waking up. You’re confused momentarily on where you even are before settling and then you’re just really thirsty.

Peeling yourself off the mattress, you stumble your way through the dark house and head towards the kitchen, your eyes slowly adjusting to the dark as you go. You knock your knee on the corner of a wall and hiss slightly, stopping to silently lament your clumsiness, how long have you lived here for? You’d think you could navigate the house in the dark without hurting yourself.

Sighing and in a slightly worse mood than before, you hobble the rest of your way into the kitchen. As you enter the room, you jump at the shadowy figure already lurking in the dark, the surprise making you gasp and clasp a hand over your beating heart.

When the initial shock wears off, you can immediately tell who it is, “Rai, geez, give a girl some warning.”

He mumble at you, voice thick with sleep, “Sorry, thought you saw me.”

The deepness of his voice pricks at your skin in a… not unpleasant way, ignoring it you ask, “Does that mean… you heard me knock into the wall?”

He tries to hide it but you can hear the quiet laugh he lets out as he admits, “Yes.”

“…Great,” you sulk.

“Just wake up?” He asks, changing the topic.

“I didn’t even realise I’d fallen asleep,” you sigh, moving for the cups, “Why are you up?”

He rests against the bench, “Having trouble staying asleep, was in here for some water.”

“Mmm yeah, I need some too, I woke up and felt like I’d been eating sand in my sleep or something,” you grumble, filling a glass with water.

He laughs as he watches you chug the whole glass before refilling it, “You were not kidding.”

“I never kid,” you say seriously, moving to lean against the bench next to him.

“That is the biggest lie I have heard to date,” he says deadpan.

You shrug, smirking into the lip of your cup, “You are entitled to your incorrect opinion.”

“Well, thank you so much for allowing me at least that much,” he breathes out a small laugh.

“You are most welcome,” you tease, lightly bumping his shoulder with yours.

It goes quiet after that, neither of you having much to say right now, slowly, you finish your second glass of water and place the cup in the sink. Continuing to linger in the kitchen, not wanting to leave but not having a reason to stay.

When you can’t find a good enough reason to stay any longer, you push off the counter, “Good night, Rai,” you pat his shoulder before walking back to your room. 

You’re careful not to knock yourself against another wall on your way back and successfully make it to your room injury free. Just as you go to close your door, Raiden presses a hand on it and opens it again, letting himself into your room.

Before you can ask him what he’s doing he instead asks you, “Why are you sorry?”

You don’t know what he means, “What?”

He barely lets you get the word out before he’s asking again with more words, “Earlier today, you said you do not regret sleeping with Kung Lao but you are sorry to me… why are you sorry?”

You stammer, not really sure how to answer because you aren’t even really sure of the reason yourself. It doesn’t help that he’s walked closer to you, it’s making you feel like he’s in your space, he’s moved so close to you, looking at you so intently, waiting to see what you have to say.

When you can’t manage to produce anything, he sighs softly but puts his hands on either side of your face, his thumbs gently stroking the highest parts of your cheekbones. He seems like he’s considering something, weighing the pros and cons of his next actions. After a few moments of consideration and holding you like this, he pulls you to him and kisses you.

Initially, you’re taken by surprise but when you register his soft lips on yours, your hands grasp his shirt and you kiss him back. It’s electric, he kisses you in a gentle but consuming manner, like he’s being careful but reckless all at the same time. His lips are insistent but hesitant at the same time, knowing what he wants to take but worried about taking it. He’s making you lightheaded either way, a small sound escapes you when he kisses you a bit more forcefully.

He stops the kiss before it progresses any further, pulling his face away from yours but still holding you. You’re lost at his sudden absence, you were enjoying the kiss, you… don’t want to stop kissing him.

You’re slightly out of breath when you ask, “Why did you do that?”

“I wanted to see,” is all he says, scanning your face.

You frown up at him, “See what?”

His gaze lingers on your lips, “If you would kiss me back.”

You’re shocked by his answer and also still dazed from his kiss, what the hell does he mean ‘he wanted to see’?. You’re still frowning up at him and he presses his thumb into the crease between your brows encouraging you to relax. He smiles at you, it’s kind and also somehow, a bit smug, a quiet kind of smugness that he has shown only a handful of times in the past.

You pout, “That’s it?”

He seems a little nervous now, “Why? Do… do you want me to kiss you again?”

“No– I mean, I wouldn’t mind– that’s not what I was asking!” He smiles softly at the way you fumble and you have to gather yourself before asking clearly, “I mean… Is that the only reason you kissed me? To see if I would kiss you back?”

He removes his hands from you completely, “No.”

“No?”

He nods, “No.”

You place your hands on your hips, “Are you going to give me any more than that?”

He offers, “I will give you more… if you can tell me why you kissed me back.”

You’re annoyed at how well he reads you, especially right now because you don’t have an answer.  You kissed him back because you wanted to…

He smiles at you wistfully, “When you have worked out your answer, find me and I will have an answer to your question.” He pats your shoulder and then leaves your room.

What the hell just happened? You don’t even know how to react, he just… what are you… why was this so attractive? Collapsing into bed, all you can do is think about how much you enjoyed kissing Raiden and what that means for you. Going back to sleep seems like an impossible task now.

𝜗𝜚

In the morning, when it’s a more appropriate hour to be awake, you spend your time avoiding both of the guys. It’s a little difficult but you think to yourself, you only have to do this until your afternoon shift at the tea house and then you’ll be at work and it’ll be so much easier to avoid them.

You time your exits from your room carefully all morning, to dodge possible run ins with them. It feels silly but you crack open the door and peek out to see where they are adjacent to you, straining your ears, listening for them when you can’t see them. It’s all a bit childish but you don’t want to talk to Kung Lao because you’re still feeling upset over how he’s been acting after your night together and you don’t want to talk to Raiden after last night, you will talk to him though… when you have that answer.

Thankfully, you make it the whole morning without seeing either of them on your trips to and from your room. They also don’t come looking for you and leave you alone, probably assuming you’re sleeping in. The only time you see them both is in passing as you leave the house.

“I’ll be back later this afternoon, bye!” You call out as you rush out the front door, not stopping to give them the chance to reply properly.

You feel just the slightest bit bad but also not really, you’re allowed time to collect yourself and your thoughts, it’s not your fault they’re the cause of your confusion. On your walk to work, you consider what it all means, how you’ve been feeling, why Kung Lao’s blasé attitude upset you, why you liked kissing Raiden back and there’s only really one, glaringly obvious answer to both of those situations. How annoying, you cannot have this realisation right now, you have work.

Ignoring the answers you had been searching for, you get to work and waste no time in distracting yourself. It’s ironic really, you’d been trying so hard to think and have this realisation and now you’re pissed at yourself for figuring it out now and trying to ignore it. You don’t even have time to process how this makes you feel, well… you do and you could, you’re just choosing not to.

Focusing all you attention on your job kind of works as a replacement for thinking, you’re forced to put all your energy into other things but your thoughts tug at the back of your head and you know you’re going to have to confront this if you want it to stop. Just… not right now.

The shift itself is actually pretty good, there aren’t many people here today and the people that are here and that you interact with are incredibly kind. Some regulars come in and you get roped into polite chatter with them but you don’t mind, it’s welcome today.

It’s getting to be towards the end of your shift and though you’re happy to be almost finished with work, you also feel nervous about going home. Those nerves aren’t eased when you see both Raiden and Kung Lao walk into your place of work together. They do leave you alone to finish your shift, though Raiden stands by the exit, waiting for you to be done for the day. You don’t know where Kung Lao is, you’ve lost sight of him. Disregarding their presence, you tidy up and do some other things for Madam Bo before realising your shift is over and you’ve also managed to stay back a little by helping out with things that really weren’t urgent.

Feeling bad for making them wait, you head over to where you saw Raiden, still unsure on where Kung Lao has gone, “If you were waiting for me… I’m sorry, I was just helping out with some stuff.”

Raiden straightens up when he sees you, “I was but it is fine, I would have waited longer… if you needed extra time.”

“No, no I’m good to leave now,” you smile at him.

He smiles back but nods down at you, “Are you sure?”

You look down at yourself and realise you had kept an apron on, sheepishly, you rub the back of your neck and laugh, “Right… sorry, I will be right back.”

Raiden laughs lightly at your embarrassment as you jog away to the back area of the tea house. Quickly, you tug off the apron and put it away, taking a second to calm down and try to look like less of a mess and then you walk back out to where Raiden is still standing and still waiting for you.

“All better?” You ask, spinning around in a circle for him.

He confirms for you, “All better.”

You look around the tea house, trying to spot Kung Lao, “I thought I saw you come in with Kung Lao earlier…”

“Ah, so you did see us,” he jabs at you for avoiding them, seemingly, you are not as slick as you like to pretend you are, “He… uh… he has a date? Kind of? He’s meeting someone here… now.”

That makes you stop, you try not to but you can’t help but feel dejected, “Oh.”

“Hey…” Raiden reaches his hand up and places it on your shoulder, “I do not think he actually wanted to go… it was set up a bit ago by one of the ladies who is friends with Madam Bo… he is doing it more of a favour to her.”

Shaking your head, you say, “I don’t mind, he can do as he likes, or who he likes, for that matter…” trailing off you add, “He always does…”

You say that but you still feel hurt, he made you get rid of that guys number after you slept with him but he’s going on a date after saying he’d never want anyone else… Whatever, you’re ignoring this… this whole thought process has been added to the huge ignore pile you have created in your brain.

Raiden squeezes your shoulder and recaptures your attention, “You ready to head home?”

“Beyond ready,” your smile is tired when you look at him and he pats your shoulder, the pair of you turning to walk out of the tea house together.

The walk back starts off quiet, a peaceful and unhurried pace is shared between you, he breaks it though, asking, “Are we okay? I… did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable last night–”

“–I have an answer,” you look down to your feet, feeling his eyes on you, your steps slow slightly, “I wanted to.”

He stops completely, “You wanted to?”

You also stop but you can’t look at him, feeling embarrassed and instead choosing to look off in the distance where the house is waiting, “…I kissed you back… because I wanted to kiss you.”

“…Then conversely, I kissed you because I wanted to,” he sounds nervous as well but he’s hiding it better than you. You still won’t look at him and he sighs from beside you, “Because I like you.”

It feels like cold water has been dumped on you and you look to him with a shocked expression on your face, “I– I can’t, I don’t–” taking a deep breath you try to verbalise your response better, “I think… I– I am confused, Rai.”

He smiles softly at you, “I know,” he reaches out to your arm and touches along it before taking your hand in his, “I will wait… until you figure it out.”

You look to him and your eyes feel wet, it’s like… he already knows how you’re feeling, he’s steps ahead of you and just waiting patiently for you to catch up to him, “I’m not asking you to do that.”

“No… but I will,” he squeezes your hand and starts walking again, leading you back home.

You follow with him silently, not having much else to say, you think for now, everything that needs to be said and that you can manage to say has been. If he’s willing to wait just a little longer, until you can sort yourself out, until things can start making sense, that would make you ridiculously happy. He’s so… kind to you… and he always has been, you’re being overwhelmed by feelings for him.

When you’re back in the house, he lets you through first but as soon as he closes the door, you turn around and face him, stopping him from moving into the house any further, “I would like… I would like it if you would kiss me again… please?”

His eyes grow wider, surprised by your sudden question, “Right now?”

You’re feeling foolish now, “Only if you want to… you don’t have to.”

“I want to… I always want to,” he murmurs, moving closer to you, one of his hands reaching up to your face, “Are you sure?”

It feels like you soften for him all at once, “Yes.”

Leaning down, he presses a lingering kiss to your lips before pulling back enough to ask, “Is this alright?”

“No. I want more,” you mumble, looping your arms around his neck and pulling yourself to him, kissing him firmly.

His hands move to your hips, holding you close, his mouth moving against yours enthusiastically. He grips the fat of your hips harshly and pushes you back towards the wall, crowding you in, you gasp when you make contact with it. He takes the chance to deepen the kiss, his lips are insistent, eager, it’s making you dizzy. He moves his leg between yours, pinning you to the wall, the movement against your core shocks you and you let a small noise slip from the back of your throat.

Raiden pulls back at the sound, his forehead falls to your shoulder, breathlessly he apologises, “Sorry… I– I am getting worked up… I can stop–”

“–No… that’s not… I don’t want you to stop,” your voice feels small, you feel shy but you don’t want him to stop… you want him to go further, you want him worked up. Moving your lips to his ear, you say softly, “I want you.”

A shiver runs down his spine and you think if your hearing was slightly better you would have caught the small whine he made at the sound of your voice. He doesn’t move though, holding completely still, trying to reboot. Taking initiative, you grab one of his hands off your hips and lead him down the hall to his bedroom. He dutifully follows behind you, letting you take him wherever you want, he thinks he’d follow you into hell like this.

Once you’re in his room, you turn around to face him, you got him in here but now you’re feeling unsure, your confidence short lived, “Rai, I’m not good at… this.”

He’s a little dazed as he looks down at you, gaze busy watching you, “I think you were doing fine,” he hums. You go to complain to him, bothered by his response but he’s reaching out to you, grabbing at your waist, his lips close to yours, “You still want me?” He checks.

Breathlessly, you answer, “Yes.”

He smiles at you before leaning in and kissing you again, this time letting himself be unrestrained, his tongue in your mouth immediately. His hands roam more freely, groping at you. Your arms loop around him again, pulling yourself to him, you moan into the kiss and it drives him crazy.

He walks you back towards his bed and you let him but as you reach the edge of the frame, you part from him, you have something to say but you’re huffing, trying to catch your breath. His hand holds your face and his thumb wipes your bottom lip, cleaning you of the messy and rushed kiss you shared.

His eyes linger on your lips before asking, “Is something wrong?”

You feel like an idiot as you awkwardly get out, “No… I– I just… wanted… you to sit… first? maybe?...”

He looks confused for a moment before clarifying, “You want to sit on my lap?”

It’s said in a way where he’s only asking to be sure but it makes your skin feel hot and now you’re embarrassed, “…Only if you’re okay with it.”

He smirks at you in a way you’ve not seen before and it makes your heart skip a beat, “You are welcome to sit anywhere you like.”

You make a shocked expression at him, not expecting him to say something so suggestive. He kisses you again, not removing the stupefied look on your face, only changing the reason for it and then he removes himself from you to sit on his bed, waiting for you, he even pats his lap lightly with a small and welcoming smile on his face.

It feels silly as you crawl over to him, especially since he watches you so closely, he’s always watching you closely and it makes you lightheaded. You sit in his lap and his hands stroke your thighs, up your sides, caressing your body tenderly.

He goes to lean into you but you stop him, “Wait–” you crawl off him and he sighs in disappointment but watches to see what you’re doing. You shuffle out of your pants before crawling back and sitting on him again, he groans when your covered pussy makes contact with his cock, “Sorry… I thought this would save time.”

He intakes a deep breath, “I think you may kill me,” he mutters, his hand drawing towards your cunt, thumb swiping over the front of your underwear.

His cock is hard underneath you and he feels… “Rai?”

He hums at you in response, he’s distracted, his fingers pulling at your panties without actually moving them, waiting for your okay. When he realises you’re waiting for his full attention, he moves his hands to your inner thighs and rubs them, fingers digging in a tiny bit, it has you wiggling down into him, the pressure flipping your tummy.

He looks into your eyes, “Yes?”

You falter a bit, “Are… are you… fully hard?...”

“Pretty much… yeah,” his brows crease, confused at your question, “…Why?”

“You just…” your hands grip onto his shoulders and you drag your clothed cunt along the length of his cock, he chokes and grips you harder, shocked. You bite your lip to supress your sounds, you’re just trying to see something. When you stop grinding into him, he lets out a sad sound, his hands pulling at you, wanting you to keep going, “Rai, you’re huge.”

“What?” He looks genuinely confused, “I am not, I am average.”

You shake your head at him, “Rai, you might not…” You frown and look away, feeling flustered.

He understands what you’re worried about though, “Oh, I will,” he assures. The way he says it makes your heart skip a beat, he’s so certain, you’re so… not. “Can I?” He asks, nodding towards your panties.

“You have to take something off first,” he cannot see your pussy while also still being fully clothed.

He easily takes off his shirt and chucks it down onto the floor, “Now?”

You nod at him and he eagerly pulls your panties to the side, his index and middle finger slide through your wet folds and he grumbles lowly to himself at how slick you are. You grip his shoulders for purchase, needing the stability. He plays with your cunt, fingers making a mess of you, gently touching your clit every now and again just to see the way you jolt and get an increasingly more desperate look in your eyes.

You gasp out to him, “Rai… you’re being cruel.”

He smiles to himself, “Sorry,” he replies, although, he doesn’t really seem all that sorry.

Thankfully, he does actually move his finger towards your entrance, his middle finger slowly pushes forwards, careful not to hurt you. Your pussy swallows the digit and he moans at the way you grip him. Your thighs shake and little noises you aren’t quite aware of slip past your bitten lips.

Raiden has to control himself, wanting to finger fuck you until you’re blind but not wanting to hurt you or go too fast. He focuses on opening you up on his one finger, cock twitching in his pants at how you make little whimpered sounds for him.

Your eyes are low and wet, looking to him and asking, “More, please.”

You look dazed, eyes sparkling with how malleable he’s making you. He might melt into a puddle for you right here, “Mmm, you look really pretty,” he comments. The compliment goes to your core and your cunt throbs on his finger, “Oh… you like being told how pretty you are?”

“Rai don’t,” he’s embarrassing you.

“Why not? Do you not want to hear how beautiful you are to me while I stuff my fingers inside you?” He singsongs, another finger moving to join the one already inside you.

You go to speak but he fucks them up into you and crooks them, rubbing them against your inner wall just right and the only thing that comes out it an incredibly pitiful whine. A sound that Raiden delights in, if his smile and bright eyes are anything to by.

“Make cute noises, too,” he utters to you, his other hand leaving your waist and holding the side of your neck, “Wonder how you will sound when you cum, though I think I know…” you look at him with wide eyes and he looks back to you, his eye contact intense, “You seem to forget that you have roommates.”

You try to look away from him but he moves his hand up to your cheek, forcing you to look at him. How are you meant to reply to that? You’re feeling really embarrassed and exposed, especially since his fingers are knuckle deep inside your cunt, reaching places you can’t touch when you’re doing this by yourself.

“I can’t– I don’t– If I’m so loud… why do you –ngh– never say anything?” It’s a struggle to get the question out, you’re trying to refrain yourself from grinding down into his fingers.

His smile is saccharine as he replies, “If I did that… you would probably stop.”

You gasp at him and he begins thrusting his fingers into you again, not caring to hear your protests to his answer. The sounds in the room are embarrassing to say the least, your skin feels hot and you can’t tell if that’s because of him or your humiliation at how wet you are. His eyes flick between your pussy and your face, lingering on your face for a few moments and pulling your lip down with his thumb before focusing his attention back on where his fingers are devastating you.

“Could you take another?” He asks gently, glancing up at you and waiting for your response.

You nod enthusiastically, “I can.”

“That is good, you are doing so good,” he practically purrs, it makes your pussy spasm and his smile grows, he’s going to use this against you a lot and that makes you nervous… and aroused, something he definitely knows.

He scissors his fingers, trying to open you up for a third, you squirm and look down, his hand is so large and… slick. Glistening with how you spill down his fingers and into his palm. It’s an obscene sight that makes your heart flutter, you moan as your hips wriggle down, silently begging for friction, for more.

It’s slow, when he first adds a third, it’s a lot more to take but you’re getting impatient and the sounds you make convey as much, Raiden tuts at you, “Just stay still for me, please.”

You clench down on him but hold as still as you can manage, noises you didn’t think yourself capable of getting stuck in your throat as his thumb rubs at your clit. He eases his third finger inside and your own fingers grip at his shoulder, gasped and stuttered breaths leaving you as you try to take it.

Raiden holds a moan in his chest, getting off on how you look right now, his cock painfully hard. He’s trying to be so patient, trying his very best to not lose it at how well you’re doing for him, how compliant you’re being. He’s not asked much of you at all and you’re so completely willing, eager even, it feels like electricity is running through his veins.

Your voice is pitched high when you plead with him to move, “Rai– please~”

He looks to you, his smile kind but his aura smug, “More?”

“More,” you confirm. You’re getting close to finishing, your stomach tightening, pulling taut, your pussy throbbing around his fingers. All you need if for him to move, “I am –hah– I am getting close–”

“–I know,” is what he replies with, apparently perfectly aware of how close you’re getting but still taking his time anyways.

Once you relax more, he retracts his fingers and begins thrusting them in and out of you, the sounds that result make even him blush. His eyes dazed and lustful, his ego growing with just how wet you are for him. His free hand moves to grip your hip, holding you still, preventing you from bucking into him. Something he’s glad he did because when it begins to feel like too much you try to pull back and he doesn’t want you going anywhere.

“Is too –ngh– much,” you whimper to him, the feeling overwhelming you.

His eyes stay on your cunt, not looking away from what he’s doing, “You can take it, you have been doing so good.”

The moan that his praise pulls from you is damning evidence of how much his encouraging words effect you and he huffs a small sound of amusement at how much he’s effecting you just by telling you how good you’re doing. You’d snap at him if he weren’t so close to making you cum, you don’t want to risk this slipping from you. Your thighs shake and your tummy flips, your hands pull and grasp at his skin and you all but hold your breath as you cum on his fingers.

Unable to stay upright, you fall into his chest, your head on his shoulder, your moans being muffled into his skin. Your eyes shut tight as you jolt against him, your orgasm wracking over your body. Raiden groans at how your pussy trembles around his fingers, a shiver running down his spine.

You can’t speak, not yet, you’re shaking still and you just need a moment to collect yourself. Raiden retracts his fingers to let you collapse into him completely, your weight sat comfortably on top of him, his cock jerking underneath you from the friction and heat of your bare cunt.

He moves his head slightly to the side, his nose brushing against your cheek, “Are you okay?”

“More than, I just wasn’t… expecting all that,” it comes out mumbled, you’re even drooling onto his skin slightly.

He counters, “You are the one worried about taking me.”

You harrumph against him, pouting slightly, “For good reason!”

“We do not have to, if you are worried,” he strokes the back of your head, his touch delicate.

Pulling back to look at him properly, you assert, “I want to.”

He pulls you into him, kissing you deeply, his lips tender despite the depraved manner in which he’s kissing you. His lust clouding his head as he kisses you deeply, hands searching your body, groping and pulling at you, on your hips, your ass, your waist, your breasts, anywhere he can get to. All you can do is hold onto him and let him kiss you into oblivion, that’s not a complaint though, you think you’d let him kiss you for as long as he wants to.

His hands slip under your shirt, resting against your bare skin, revelling in the feel of your soft skin against his rough palms. His arms move to wrap around you completely, tugging you to his body, your front pressed against his as he kisses you stupid. You need air, you’re being deprived, slipping your hands into his hair, you tug, signalling to him that you need to breathe. The action pulls a moan from him, shared in the kiss, he understands your ask though and rests his forehead against yours. He’s huffing harshly, apparently needing air too and just refusing to pull away from you.

You go to ask him if he’s okay but he beats you to it, instead asking you, “Can you take this off?” He tugs at your shirt.

“Hmm?” It takes your dazed mind a second to catch on, “Oh! Yeah, okay,” you giggle softly at your stupidity and it makes Raiden smile goofy and big.

He slips his hands under your shirt and tugs it up and over your head, exposing yourself to him. He chucks it to the floor before his hands hesitate at touching you, grabbing one of his hands you place it on your body, encouraging him to touch you, that it’s okay. He’s more comfortable after that, both of his hands on your body, he holds your breasts in his large hands, pawing at them.

Leaning down, you kiss him again, he welcomes it but doesn’t take his hands away from your tits. Reaching for his pants, you begin tugging at the layers of clothes between the two of you, you’re struggling though, lost in his kiss and his warm hands. You let out a shocked moan when he pinches at your nipples, rolling them, your moan disconnects the kiss and your head falls to his shoulder.

He softly chuckles at your reaction, removing his hands from you and down to his pants, “…Sorry.”

“I don’t think you are,” you grumble against him.

He presses a kiss to your shoulder, “You are right, I am not.”

He hisses as he pulls himself out of his pants and you lean back to look down at him, his cock is slightly larger than you were expecting, average your ass. The tip is angry and red, leaking precum profusely. Clearly, he’s unbelievably worked up, his dick twitching as he holds the base of it. Your hand moves towards him, hesitating just as he did before, he lets go of his grasp and pulls your hand to him, mirroring your previous action, showing you it’s okay.

When you take him in your hand he holds back a moan, resulting in a small, hummed noise instead. It makes you smile to yourself, the noises he makes are cute… you want to hear more. You pick a languid pace and jerk him off, his chest stutters and his cock jumps, your thumb rubs at the tip of his dick, collecting the precum there and working it up and down his cock, making him slick.

His hips rise and stutter, wanting you to go faster but you don’t want to make him cum, you just want to tease him a little bit. You wonder how much you could tease him before he can’t take it anymore and just takes what he needs from you, the idea of seeing Raiden break and be little bit mean to you excites you more than you care to admit… but it’s a lot.

You’re still worried about taking him, he’s not slick enough and you need it slick if you’re going to sit on all of him, which you are determined to do. Gathering the saliva in your mouth you spit down onto the tip of his cock and he groans at the sight, fighting the urge to tip his head back, wanting to watch what you’re doing instead. You use your spit to lube his cock, your hand glides up and down his shaft easier like this. Raiden stutters out a sharp breath, he’s beyond horny, he’s getting twitchy, needy.

He huffs out, “Can I –hah–”

“Hmm?” You can’t tell exactly what he was going to ask, though you probably could guess.

“Can you just–” He sighs, exasperated, “Sit on it,” he waits a moment before adding “Please?”

His phrasing makes your pussy jump, you weren’t expecting that kind of directness from him, it is welcomed though. You bite back a smile at his increasing impatience, which he doesn’t miss, his eyes narrowing at you but before he can even think of something to say, you grip him tightly and sit up on your knees, drawing closer to him. His focus is suddenly back on your cunt, waiting for you to sink down on him.

You get frustrated at your underwear though, wanting them off before taking him, you let go of his dick and he grunts, “Hold on, I want to take off–”

Raiden looks mildly annoyed in front of you, his hands stop you from going anywhere and in an entirely bored manner, he tears your panties off of you. The material ripped from you and chucked across the room, a pathetic noise leaves you at it and he sits back, waiting on you again.

He looks up at you, “Better?”

You gape at him, “That was… impressive.”

He blushes a little but is serious as he says, “I can be so much more impressive, if you would just sit down, please.”

You squint at him but take his cock back in your hand, hovering over it again, you feel nervous to take him and you falter slightly. Just as you’re about to follow through, Raiden’s hands are on your hips, stopping you.

He looks concerned, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I am still a little worried about how large you are,” you’re genuinely fine, you are determined to take him.  

He strokes your thighs, “You do not have to–”

“–I am fine, I can take it, I will take it,” you cut him off, you can do this.

He shudders at your assertion, “Fine, just… take what you can, do not force it.”

“Mhm,” you mumble out dismissively, already looking down again.

His hand moves to your face and makes you look at him, “I mean it, do not force it.”

“Okay,” you answer him properly this time, knowing full well… you probably, might, definitely force it… just a bit.

He squints at you, inspecting you for a moment before letting your face go and allowing you to carry on. You notch the tip of his cock at your entrance, breathing deeply as you begin sinking down on him. Raiden grips your thighs, his breath faltering in his chest, all of his focus put into not slamming you down onto him. It’s slow going and the stretch aches, you bite your lip as to not make any noises, not wanting to sound completely pitiful.

Once you get the tip of him inside you, your hands move to hold onto his shoulders, keeping yourself stabilised. You need to wait a moment before you can continue, you need to adjust. Maybe gaslighting yourself will help, you can take him, he’s not even that big. Looking down to where his cock is sitting, you realise gaslighting did not help, a small whimper leaves you at the sight of his dick not even close to being fully inside you.

He strains himself to say, “Take it easy.”

Raiden rests his head back against the headboard, his eyes shut tight, pleasure crawls up his spine and he’s having the hardest time not fucking up into you right now. His stomach pulls taut, he could probably cum just like this, which embarrasses him beyond belief. What kind of grown man cums from this much? Oh, but he’s so on edge and you’re so warm and tight and wet and he could die now and be happy.

Almost out of spite, you drop down onto him more, forcing it only slightly, still not quite halfway but significantly more than before. The shock of it causes Raiden to moan loudly and raise his head to look at you, his hands gripping you, not allowing you to do that again. His eyes are angry and wet, he’s in disbelief at you.

He’s a bit breathless now because of you, “I just said to take it easy.”

“I know,” you mutter, looking down, eyes looking at how he’s stuffed inside you.

You’re distracted, he might be saying more but you raise yourself back up before sliding down on him again, fucking yourself on what you’ve managed to take. He chokes and whimpers at the feeling, his eyes also watching where his cock is gliding in and out of you, his hips want to chase you, he wants so much more. He settles for gripping your skin and watching how you leak onto his dick.

He lets you take your time; you take what you can, fucking yourself open on him, his heart beats hard in his chest at the scene in front of him, his eyes all glazed over. Looking at you, you’re doing no better, you’re all fucked out with the cutest, dumbest look on your face, eyes gooey and mind far away. The noises that leave him make his skin flush but he can’t stop, not with how you devotedly ride not even half of him, he’s genuinely worried you’re going to kill him.

Eventually, after working yourself up and down his cock for a bit, you manage to take half of him. You slip down and whine at the feeling of him being so deep in you, “I don’t –ngh– know if I can take it all.”

“Does not matter– just– do not stop,” his words are rushed and borderline begged, pleading with you to keep going.

You do keep going, continuing to take what you can. Raiden leans forward, his face resting between your breasts, his hands gripping you higher on your back, still refraining himself from thrusting up into you.

“You feel so good… so good, such a pretty girl, doing so well,” he’s mumbling mindlessly into your skin, “Taking me so nicely, make sweet little noises, love listening to you.”

He’s going to make you cum if he keeps complimenting you like that but based on the way he doesn’t stop, you think that may be his intent. Compliments and sugar-coated words leave his lips as you try to keep the pace you’ve set, you’re throbbing around him, you’re so unbelievably close and if it didn’t feel so good you might be a bit more ashamed over how much his words effect you.

“Mmm, gripping me so tight, so perfect, have such good reactions –hah– I know you are close,” he’s still speaking into your skin, one of his hands moves to your cunt, his thumb rubbing circles into your clit, “I want it,” he groans.

You gasp, nails clawing at his skin, he shocks an orgasm out of you, it takes you by surprise, you knew you were close but not that close. You want to grind into him, you need more, and in your hazy, needy fog, you take more of him, dropping down as far as you can go. The sudden, extremely full feeling has you moaning loudly, your orgasm shuddering up and down your spine. You rock down onto him, at this point, forcing yourself to take him all, the pain only adding to the extreme pleasure you’re experiencing.  

Raiden is holding you close, still not fucking up into you but whining under you, the pleasure he’s feeling taking over his mind. He can’t believe you did that; he can’t believe you forced yourself the whole way down his cock while cumming on him, he’s going to pass out. His dick is twitching, his teeth bared as he holds off on finishing.

Your limbs relax and you slump into him, your body trembling with the post orgasm shocks that run through you. Raiden pulls his head back to allow you the room to rest on him properly, his hands run up and down your back, soothing you, giving you time.

Being fully sat on him now is driving you mental, you’ve just cum on him and you’re greedy for more, he fills you so nicely, you feel so fucking full and it makes your head spin, “I can go again,” you promise, your hips grinding down into him.

He moans, surprised, “Take a break.”

You shake your head no at him, continuing to grind down onto him, it’s lazy and needy, basically only serving to try and pull another orgasm from you. It’s frustrating Raiden, he wants to go easy on you but you’re not letting him, you’re making his skin itch, he’s so fucking desperate for you and is still trying to be a gentleman, something you’re not appreciating. You’re being a brat but oh, it feels so good while you do, your walls hug him so firmly. His dick fully sheathed inside you is going to have him going insane.

He can’t take it anymore, the way you ardently rut down into him, eager for more, it pushes him over the edge. His hands grip your thighs and he readjusts his footing on the bed, giving himself leverage.

He speaks through gritted teeth, “Take a break, sit there and let me do it properly.”

You whimper at him and he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, memorising the sound you just made at him. He uses his new position to fuck up into you how he likes, how he needs, this is all he’s wanted. He just wanted to drag his thick cock through your tight walls how he liked and now that he can, it’s making him release strangled moans and whimpers.

All you can do is take what he’s giving you, his thrusts harsh and targeted, he knows exactly where to hit and it has you moaning and drooling onto his skin, your head tucked into his neck. You take the opportunity to suck a hickey into his skin, a particularly hard thrust from him makes you bite his skin lightly. He whines at the feeling, his dick jerking at the way you’ve dug your teeth into his skin.

You need him to know, “Rai –ngh– feel really –mmph– good–”

A shiver runs through him at your compliment, he turns his head to the side slightly and speaks lowly to you, “If I feel so good… cum again.”

You gasp at him, your mind reeling, he says the most shocking things, not even all the obscene, just completely shocking to you.

“So desperate for it,” he mumbles, mostly to himself, before directing to you, “Taking my whole cock so nicely, taking it all just like you said you would,” and then he adds something that devastates you, “Such a good girl.”

He’s done that on purpose, you know it, “Rai– I can’t– it feels–” It feels different, your orgasm is tightening all your limbs, your stomach flipping, your mind going foggy.

You try to move away from him, pulling back but he keeps fucking you how he likes, “It is fine, let it happen.”

He’s so sure that it’s fine and it convinces you that it is, you let it happen, you let your orgasm wash over you. It has you almost thrashing, your hands digging into his skin and your feet kicking against the bed as you silently scream, panted gasps leaving you as you squirt all over his lap. Raiden relishes in the way your eyes roll back and your body shakes, your cunt clutching and spasming around him so tightly he can barely fuck you through it.

One of your hands move to his hair and tugs him harshly, his head moving back with it, he moans loudly and his balls tighten. He doesn’t fight it this time, he lets himself cum, filling your pussy with his thick load, finishing so much that it leaks out around where he’s stuffed you full. His moans trail off into small whines until he takes a deep breath and calms down, his eyes watch how you leak your shared releases down into his lap.

Your eyes are bleary, wet with unshed tears, you’re not capable of cohesive thought and it feels like electricity thrums through your veins, jerking you every now and again. You feel like you might collapse backwards at any moment, it makes you grateful for Raiden’s hands on your hips, giving you some stability, enough to keep you upright anyways.

You look to Raiden and he smiles at you, “You look beautiful.”

You make a distressed sound at him as your cunt jumps but that just makes him wear an even larger smile, it reaches his eyes.

“You okay?” He asks.

“Mhm… I didn’t think– I didn’t think I could do that,” you slur, shocked at how he’s managed to do that to you.

“No one has ever made you squirt?” He says it so earnestly and it makes you feel shy.

You look away from him, “I hadn’t even cum from anyone else before Lao.”

“And how many times did he make you cum?”

You glare back at him, “Why?”

He smiles politely, “Why else? Want to compare.”

You frown at him, “This is not an analytical essay, we are not comparing and contrasting.”

He continues smiling at you, waiting patiently for the answer he knows you’re going to give him.

And you do, you concede to him and reveal, “Twice.”

You can feel the way he’s proud of himself for not only having you finish three times but also making you squirt. He changes the topic though, not pushing you, “I hope you know; this was not just sex to me.”

“…It wasn’t to me, either,” you look away from him.

You can’t bring yourself to tell him what you had realised earlier, you’re painfully aware of how much you feel for him, of how much you feel for both of them but you aren’t quite ready to have that conversation yet.

His hand guides your face back to look at him, “Hey, it is okay, I told you before, I would wait. If it is you… I can wait.”

You lean forward to hug him and he holds you back, he’ll hold you for as long as you need and you know that. He makes you feel so cared for, you won’t make him wait, even though you know he will, you won’t do that to him because he may be able to wait… but you can’t.

𝜗𝜚

Thank you for reading !!! I hope it was good and silly and that you had fun reading <3 if you have any thoughts, feeling, questions, don't hesitate to reach out !! have a beautiful day/night :3

[undeadcannibal]

Your honor I'd like to propose an amendment to the 🍆 head cannon post:

Curvature and distinguishing colors, features? Are they darker or the same shade? Lighter? Hair color? Texture? Who's got a lean? 🥎⚾s?

Summary: More requested ‘N.SF.T’ headcanons for Task Force 141, Los Vaqueros, and König~ Part 2 of this post here!

Genre: Headcanons, request(s) Characters featured: Price, Gaz, Ghost, Soap, Alejandro, Rodolfo, and König.

Warnings: explicit content!

A/N: Never did I expect for that other post to become as popular as it did. I’m happy y’all enjoy my gross and overly-detailed headcanons. Also, please note, if any of you happen to not like or find any of my hcs to be gross or not what you expected, keep in mind they’re just my headcanons. Don’t take ‘em seriously, dudes. Weird and rude replies will be deleted. ( Gif credit: xxx )

Gaz―

Not much of a curve to it, honestly, he’s pretty straight curvature wise. Distinguishing colors? I’d say his foreskin is the same as his skin tone overall, tip-wise? I’m thinking it’s a bit darker than the color of his lips and flushes an even deeper color when he’s fully aroused, mhm. Hair color of his pubes is dark and also has a some curl and texture to it when he does let it grow out for some time. Balls, too? Hm... I’d say Kyle’s sporting a nice, snug set he prefers to keep smooth and clean more often than not.

Bonus! Kink headcanon is that he adores you paying extra special attention to his balls. Worship them and he’ll be cumming all over your face in no time~

Ghost―

Slight upward curve that stimulates you in the best of ways. IDC what anyone says, man has a mouthwatering cock with a nice flesh-pink tip and anyone can fight me on it. Probably slightly darker than his overall skin tone but not by much. Pubic hair stuff... I’m torn between him being a natural dirty blond or brunet. (I can’t remember where I saw the fanart from, but someone has a headcanon that he bleaches his brunet hair blond and oof, I’m in love, also give him long ass roots since he can’t keep up with his root touch-ups while out on missions) Straight-ish texture to his hair as well, grows pretty smoothly altogether. THIS MAN has a thick vein running down the middle of his shaft, my lord. And finally, for his balls, I’m thinking he’s got a hefty set that he’s quick to push you down to so you can pay them some attention, expect some light tickling from the hair there, too. uwu

Bonus! Kink headcanon is he struggles with being submissive and prefers being dominant the majority of the time due to his trauma. He doesn’t like the idea of submitting to someone -- he’s far too afraid of what kind of consequences it could possibly have for him. This doesn’t mean he’s a sadistic or strict Dom. If anything, he’s hyper aware of your reactions to every little thing he does, also refuses anything hard or physical against you, he detests the thought of causing his partner pain.

Price―

Leans ever so slightly to the right, isn’t too noticeable though. Since he’s circumcised in my previous post, could probably notice a scar that separates light flesh-tone color of his shaft from the faint pink of his tip. Also, despite him preferring to trim his facial hair specifically, I’d see him as going fully natural bush-wise. Man’s got a lovely cushion of brown hair that’s got just the faintest amount of gray speckled throughout. While he looks very textured, I personally think his hair would be soft af. Large set of balls that droops a bit lower now than when he was younger~

Bonus! Kink headcanon for John is - if you’re willing - he’d love to use you as an ashtray when he’s smoking. He’d light up, take a few puffs, than order you to open your mouth so he could tap the ashes off onto your tongue. Ordering you to keep your mouth open so he can see the black and grey specks of ash decorating your tongue before having you swallow.

Soap―

Has just the slightest upward curve to him, definitely jokes it’s great for helping stimulate his partner’s g-spot. Also knows all the best camera angles for top-tier dick pics. Shade darker than his natural skin tone and also has a smidge of hair going up the bottom of his shaft. Doesn’t mind in the slightest though. As mentioned before, he prefers going all natural and doesn’t shave or trim much. Lord, the amount of hair this man has. Has treasure trail, hair thighs, ass, groin, everything. Sorry, I love hairy men, what can I say? Also, when he’s super pent up, his tips turns a deep ruddy shade you love to see every time. Balls are on the larger side with one being slightly smaller than the other, also very sensitive and will have him turning into a whimpering mess if you pay special attention to them.

Bonus! Kink headcanon is he takes every spare chance he can get to take and send nudes and videos of him jacking off. Doing his best to make those sounds you love whilst trying not to get caught by anyone. Those moments are for your eyes and your eyes only~

Rodolfo―

Sobbing because his cock is the same gorgeous shade as the rest of his skin, although can see the head of his cock and his balls being a tad darker. Maybe has a tad lean towards the left. Has trimmed dark hair that feels amazing beneath your fingertips. Balls are a bit on the larger side. Run your tongue over them and his dick will be twitching above your face in no time, also will draw up tight to him when he’s cumming~ Please spread this man’s thighs apart, he’s got beauty marks for days and will fucking tremble if you kiss and run your tongue over them!

Bonus! Kink headcanon is he’s got such a praise kink when it comes to his partners. The hottest thing in the world for him is for him to be showering his partner with compliments, feeling them clench tightly around him as his words register in their pleasured-addled minds.

Alejandro―

Much like Rudy, he’s a beautiful shade of tan all throughout, and his cock head is just as flushed and ruddy when he’s aroused. Much like Rudy, has a lean but his is the exact opposite, veering to  Also is hairy just like Soap, but nowhere near to the same degree. If anything, man’s sporting a thick bush, hairy thighs, and legs. Also another man sporting thick veins throughout the length of him that he’s more sensitive about being touched than he’d like to admit. Large set of balls that do sag a bit but doesn’t mind in the slightest definitely likes to teabag his partner as a result if they allow him to  

Bonus! Kink headcanon for our man is that he’s a sucker for sloppy oral, giving or receiving, but especially receiving. Nothing excites him more than seeing how ruined and messy he can make your face as he fucks it.

König―

Doesn’t really have much of a curve or lean to him, but rest assured he’s got veins for days lining his shaft. And, if you run your tongue along them, he melts on the spot. Perfect male whimpering audio material <3 The color of him is noticeably darker than the rest of him. That, combined with his beautiful sandy colored curls make for a mouthwatering view. Also has large, yet tight balls that are far more sensitive than he’d like. Overstimulate the big guy right now!

Bonus! Kink headcanon is that due to his size all around, he’s grown to have a liking for size difference with his partner being smaller than his. It’s pretty easy given his height, but more so it drives him feral to see his cock bulging his partner’s belly out with every thrust he gives.

[sulumuns-dootah]

NSFW Alphabet - Satan

A/N: Not me procrastinating writing a Michael fic with writing something that's in the end longer than the fic.   

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⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

‎‧₊˚✧ 18+ Minors Do Not Interact‎ ✧˚₊‧

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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

If you ask, he'll do it but it's not his first instinct since he's kicking others on daily basis and doesn't think much of it. I imagine he's the type to snuggle up with you under the blanket and get you a snack.

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B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

From the game we know he favors his shoulders and arms and for partner i'd say he does too. The more you can inflict harm on him the better. Bonus points if you have long and/or pointy nails so you can break skin while scratching him.

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C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Iridescent just like his hair when it's wet. Don't ask me why, it just is. About normal amount if you ask me. Maybe even on the sweeter side. His horn cum also strikes me as more sticky, but still the same.

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D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He's slept with few humans before. All of them were witches doing a summoning ritual and he just so happened to be in the mood for something different from a demon.

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E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's the youngest of the kings, but he's still up there with the highest bodycount. Definitely knows what he's doing while with a demon, but with a human he might not know the limits, so you have to tell him if something is too much for you.

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F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any position where you can inflict pain on each other is amazing, though if he had to pick, missionary would be a winner. Both of you can comfortably bite and scratch at each other without pulling a muscle or popping out limbs.

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G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? Etc.)

More on the serious side. The only time you hear a laugh from him while doing it, it's only a mocking one to rile you up more.

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H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? Etc.)

Keeps himself cleanly shaven and interestingly, doesn't even grow hair that fast. But his hair down there is actually a lot darker, a light brunette or so. It also turns iridescent when wet, which is also partially a reason why he shaves it all off. After what happened with Mammon when he saw his hair wet, he doesn't want anything similar happen to his dick.

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I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Satan doesn't really do romantic/sensual. He prefers more heated energy. Sure, you can go on a romantic dinner with candles and then lead him to a rose petal covered bed, but he'll still fuck you like you're enemies.

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J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

As much action as he gets, he does from time to time enjoy some me-time. It's mostly when he's trying to focus on his kingly duties and doesn't have the time to go out and find someone, though. He doesn't really have much enjoyment from it since there's nobody to inflict pain on him and doing it himself isn't the same.

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K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Aside from the obvious pain kink, he's also into degradation and some more extreme versions of bdsm. Some demons in the past even had to get amputations done.

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L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere, really. As long as you're angry at him, he's down to do it. Sometimes even in the middle of a battle with an angels. It actually makes a really effective attack, if you ask me. Also since every demon is able to summon a room just with their mind, he can do that if the place you're at makes you feel uncomfortable.

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M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Anger, of course. But also when you're trying to dominate him. Calling him a bitchboy or babygirl will get him going just as good as if you were furious. As long as it's clear to him that you're teasing him and not just demeaning, he'll play along instead of kicking you across the country.

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N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Full on submitting. He'll be okay with being power bottom, but never make him powerless. Otherwise he might even freak out and switch the roles on you and make you wish you didn't make that mistake.

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O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers receiving but isn't against giving, either. Just don't pull on his horns too much, that's the only place he can't stand pain at. But his hair is free reign, even required, if anything.

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P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? Etc.)

Fast and hard. That's the only way he knows and cares about. He's too into it to go slow and the more it hurts, the faster he's going.

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Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Majority of the time with him will be quickies, unless you need some of that horn glue. That's the only time he'll actually dedicate bigger timeslot to your activities. Once again, he's busy and who knows when's the next time angels attack or one of his subjects wants to get kicked by him.

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R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? Etc.)

Sure, anything you bring up will be seriously considered. Just be careful if he ever goes to visit Abaddon. He'll have a list of things he wants to try with you and you'll have to one by one explain to him that each of them will most likely lead to your death.

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S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

As long as you're still angry, there's no time limit. Still, if you're not angry, he can go for a long time. Whether he lasts long or not depends on what you're doing during it. If it's something really painful he can finish really fast, but will demand way more rounds.

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T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He himself doesn't own many and even fewer are still in working condition. The amount of ripped fleshlights is definitely a sort of a red flag and who even knows why he keeps all those snapped cockrings. If you want to introduce toys into the bedroom though, you'll have to provide them yourself. As much as confident and sex positive Satan is, he still gets embarrassed going to adult stores.

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U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not really a tease, he's too impatient for that himself, but a provocateur for sure. In his Bath card we can see him degrade MC just so they hit him.

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V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not loud but chatty if he's in the mood. Unless you touch his horns, then he turns whiny and starts moaning even louder than you.

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W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

There actually is a way to turn him into a sub. All it takes is teasing him for so long he's so needy, that he'd do anything to get off. Or on the other hand, keep edging him by stroking his horns. Either way, when his eyes are rolling back, you know it's the perfect moment to strike.

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X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Actually, here I'd like to just reference pinkgy's post where she goes in depth and better than I could ever. ^^

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Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

If you have anger issues, very high. It generally depends on his partner, but if he's by himself, he surprisingly doesn't get horny as much.

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Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Even if he fell asleep, you wouldn't really know. Unless he's snoring. That would be actually a really funny sight. But no, he doesn't fall asleep afterwards. There's too much bruises and scratchmarks to admire at their prime before they start disappearing.

[milfs69420]

You Belong With Me (part 1)

Natasha ran from her home country when she was 18, and has since been working at a stripclub in NYC. One night she spots a woman who seems all too familiar and turns out to be her childhood lover. While getting to know each other all over again, they discover new truths and old lies.

- Natasha Romanoff x Katya Petrova - Wordcount: 3K - Warnings: none I think - A/N: Sooooo, I wrote a fanfic about a fanfic. This stripclub AU idea has been floating around for a while, but I finally managed to get a part done. Thank you @katyaromanoffpetrova for letting me borrow your babies🫶 I hope I did them justice. If you're curious about who Katya is, check out the forgotten ghost series here!

Do not repost my work as your own or translate my work!!

The bright light above the mirror casts its hideous yellow hue down on Natasha’s face. She could hardly tell the shades of her various lipsticks apart in this setting. Some days she hardly bothered with her makeup, the dark circles around her eyes were far too visible for any concealer to hide. Today though, something told her to put in some extra effort. Who, or what, was telling her, she didn’t know. Very few things harnessed the power to make Natasha Romanoff listen, but she would never go against her intuition.

The redhead stepped out of the dressing room and into the dimly lit hallway. After sitting under that bright light for so long she had to squint her eyes to see where she was going. She hardly needed the ability to see here at all. Natasha had walked this very path so many times that she was doing it on auto-pilot by now. She knew every crease in the dirty, stained carpet. She knew exactly where to place her heel adorned feet as she made her way to the stage area.

Natasha liked dancing, loved it even. As a little girl in Russia she had danced nearly every single day. Even the extremely strict ballet teacher hadn’t been able to break her and her passion for letting the rhythm guide her body. Of course, this wasn’t the type of dancing career she had imagined for herself while growing up, but it’s what paid her bills and kept her alive.

Moving, or rather, running away to another country when she had just turned eighteen hadn’t been easy, and it certainly hadn’t been cheap. So when she met Clint, her best friend and one of the bartenders at the club, she took the opportunity she was offered and started working there as one of the dancers. Originally it had been a temporary solution, just to get her on her feet in this new life. However, she quickly realised these people were much more than just coworkers, they’d become her found family before she even realised it.

So here she was, in her high heels and the skimpy bits of fabric you could hardly call clothing. She heard the music start and let her body take over from her brain, as she made her way to the centre of the stage, complete with pole and all, she took a quick and subtle look at the crowd. At first glance it was the same as every other night, young guys who’d just gotten their paycheques, middle aged men who most likely told their wives they’re working late, and the same old men smoking cigars and eyeing her up.

But as she was about to shut her brain off and let her limbs move themselves, she spotted a woman. All alone and mysterious in the darkest corner of the club, with what looked like a martini in her hand. Thanks to the darkness, Natasha couldn’t make out any clear features. All she could see was dark hair, seemingly brown but she wasn’t certain. And all that she felt was an overwhelming amount of familiarity, like she hadn’t only seen this woman before, but like she knew her. Natasha could not see the woman’s eyes in the darkness, but she knew they were focused on her.

Whether she meant to or not, Natasha’s dance was focused on this woman now. If she looked into the crowd at all, she looked at her. She put some extra effort and seductiveness into her movements, and she enjoyed doing it. Dancing for men whose attention she hardly wanted in the first place was just a job, and not one she was always happy to do. But this woman brought out her true passion for dancing, motivated her to truly let the rhythm guide her and just enjoy the moment.

When the redhead finished her dance, she left the stage almost immediately and made her way towards that dark corner. The crowd didn’t let her through nearly as fast as she wanted, and she was disappointed to find the seat empty when she finally got there. If this had been any random person, Natasha would’ve assumed they got flustered by just being in the club and ran. However, something told her that wasn’t the case here. Her mood now having been ruined by not even catching a glimpse of the woman, she didn’t feel the need to stick around.

She went to the backstage area, walked that barely lit hallway again until she reached the door to the stairs. She was one of three people living above the club. Her, Clint and Maria each had their own spaces and enough privacy to not be bothered by each other, they did however share a kitchen together. The rent was incredibly cheap due to their employment and it was a nice spot in the city as well. Unbeknownst to their boss, Fury, Natasha had a dark haired, four legged roommate upstairs.

She found Liho in the street when she was still a kitten. She was looking about as miserable and hopeless as the redhead was feeling at the time, so the only logical option was obviously to take her home. Part of Natasha had been afraid that the cat would abandon her over time, but Liho seemed better than the humans who’d let the woman down time and time again.

That night, sleep did not come easy to Natasha. She overanalysed everything she saw, or didn’t see of the mysterious woman. For some unknown reason, she was a hundred percent sure that she knew this person. When or how they met, she didn’t know, but she was certain that they had.

………

Every night that she was on stage, Natasha looked at that corner, hoping to see the person who’d been keeping her up for weeks now. She’d almost lost hope that she would see her again at all, until today. As the redhead went through her entry routine on stage, she spotted that mystery person in the corner. Before she could stop it, the slightest smirk appeared on her face.

You see, Natasha had spent her sleepless nights coming up with a plan to prevent this woman from escaping again before she could truly see her. So she made her way to the front of the stage, which had stairs connected to it, and she went into the audience. Now obviously she couldn’t just walk straight to the corner, so as she moved through the various seating arrangements, she stopped a few times. She danced at some tables and gave some extra attention to men who seemed well off enough to throw her some extra dollar bills, until she finally approached that corner.

The lighting in the club focused on Natasha, and therefore started lighting up this usually dark area. As she moved closer, the redhead could see the woman more clearly by the second. The first thing that got her attention wasn’t the clothing that she was wearing, but rather the skin left exposed by it. Tattoos that Natasha couldn’t make out quite clear enough yet, decorated smooth skin as far as she could see. She found herself imagining how many more of those she could find underneath the black slacks and white dress shirt combination. The black blazer had been hung over the chair, and her white sleeves had been rolled up. As her eyes made their way upwards, she didn’t fail to notice the amount of buttons that had been undone on the shirt, before finally getting a look at the woman’s face

Brown, shoulder length hair surrounded what may just be the most gorgeous face she’d seen in a long time, if not her whole life. Piercing blue eyes had locked onto her green ones as soon as she’d left the stage, and hadn’t looked away since. Now, Natasha was by no means shy or introverted, but she found a surprising amount of difficulty just to hold eye contact. The woman however, seemed to radiate nothing but confidence.

Where most, if not all, men would be eyeing her up like a piece of meat by now, she found what seemed an awful lot like admiration in the brunette’s eyes. She was definitely staring at Natasha, but in an oddly respectful manner. There wasn’t just lust in her eyes, she seemed enticed by the way the redhead moved her body. The way this woman was looking at her made Natasha feel good. It made her feel sexy in a way she hadn’t felt in a long time, and it filled her with newfound confidence.

Since the brunette was situated in a single chair and not in one of the booths they had in the club, Natasha took the opportunity to circle around her before settling in front of the chair. As the redhead moved her body to the music, the woman uncrossed and opened up her legs in a swift, but elegant, movement. Natasha took this as an invite to get closer, and as she did so she bent over just enough for her mouth to end up near this woman’s ear.

“Are you planning on running away again, darling?”

As she moved back to stand up straight again, she held eye contact with the brunette and found a smirk adorning that mesmerising face. Natasha could’ve, and had, imagined many different responses to her question. She’d thought about it far more than she should have probably. However, what came out of the woman’s mouth was far from anything she had expected.

“I think I’ll stay this time, I’ve missed seeing your face, Natalia.”

Shock and confusion overtook the redhead, and it was a good thing her performance time had ended at this moment. The spotlight went out as she made one last gesture to the crowd before turning around to face the woman again, what she found was that same smirk still on her face. Now though, Natasha didn’t think about how attractive that face was, she only focused on how the hell this person knew a name she had left behind all those years ago.

“How do you know that?” Was the first of many questions she wanted to ask, but for now it was the most important one. She recognised the features of the brunette’s face, but had a feeling that the time they knew each other was far in the past. What was starting to get to her though, was the smugness all over the face opposite of her. She seemed to know nothing about the person in front of her, who seemed to know a whole lot about Natasha.

“You really don’t remember me, do you?” The brunette started to get on her nerves now, Natasha wasn’t in the mood for any of these games, she wanted answers right now. “Am I supposed to recognise you? You seem to think you’re quite memorable.” At that, the woman smiled, not a smirk, no smug looks, a genuine smile.

“I thought people always remembered their first kiss.”

Now seemed like a great moment for Natasha to sit down in the chair opposite of the brunette, mainly because the shock of this all gave her some difficulty with standing up straight. “Katariina?” She couldn’t find the right words to say, so instead opted for just her name. She hadn’t seen that gorgeous face since they were both teenagers, so it made sense she didn’t recognise her right away, so many years later. Now that she knew though, she couldn’t stop the flood of memories that came over her.

Natasha had moved around Russia far more than she would’ve liked when she was a kid. Her mother had passed away when she was a baby, and her father just left her on the doorstep of the nearest orphanage. Little Natasha was far too rebellious for her own good, and this resulted in being kicked out of foster homes time after time again. The longest she ever lasted was a little over a year, and it wasn’t the family she was staying with that got her through that time. No, it was that beautiful face she found looking back at her now.

“It’s just Katya now actually, but good to know you remember, Natalia.” And remember, she did. She recalled the first time that she saw Katya, her foster parents quickly tugged her the other way and told her not to play with the girl, to never even go near the huge house on the other side of the street. But something about her had already intrigued Natasha, even if she had only seen her for just a second. From that moment on, all that she wanted to do was get to know this girl. As she did so, she found that she craved to be much closer than friends were supposed to be. She wanted to know her in far more intimate ways than society deemed acceptable for them.

“It’s probably my hair. It’s not blonde anymore” Natasha looked at her, took her time to take in this new appearance. “I can see that, the ink wasn’t there either.” Now it was Katya’s turn, to take in her own appearance. Smiling, she looked back at the redhead. “I suppose you, of all people, would’ve known about any ink on my skin.” At that, Natasha couldn’t help but blush. Memories of their secret meet ups filled her head. Some nights had been spent exploring the rural areas around their town, where nobody would find them. Other nights, they explored each other instead.

While they were both enjoying this seemingly light-hearted conversation, Natasha had questions to ask. “So I guess it’s not a coincidence that you found me, is it?” Katya smiled at her now, no longer hiding behind a facade of smugness and false confidence, powerful as she was, she’d been terrified of how the redhead could’ve reacted. “No it’s not, though I’ve got to give you credit where it’s due. You didn’t make it easy to track you down.”

“So how did you manage to find me anyway?” Natasha had changed her whole identity, finding her was supposed to be nearly impossible. “I have my ways.” Is all that the brunette gave her.

“Still being mysterious, I see. Nice to know you didn’t change too much.” She hadn’t meant to let that out as angrily as it did, but this was a lot to handle.

“I couldn’t afford to tell you anything back then, it would’ve put both of our lives at risk, Natalia.”

“And you still can’t tell me now?” For some reason, Natasha didn’t feel the need to correct the brunette when she used her old name. She was sure that Katya knew her new identity anyway, but simply chose not to acknowledge it. Plus, she didn’t mind the way her name sounded, rolling off of her childhood lover’s tongue.

“I could, and I might, but this isn’t the time or place. I’m sure you understand that, don’t you?”

“So when and where do I have to be, to get some answers out of you?” Again, Katya smiled at her, and this time Natasha couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous she looked as she did so. It seemed as if that magical charm that had intrigued her when they were teens, was still there all these years later.

“You seem quite eager to spend more time with me milaya(милая).” To hear that term of endearment coming from the brunette, seemed to bring back far more than just memories. Natasha felt as if her stomach did a backflip as soon as the word reached her ears. It shouldn’t be that easy, for Katya to make her feel anything at all after all this time. But neither of them could deny that they had a special connection, one that ran far deeper than just childhood love.

“I’m just eager to know how you found me, and why you wanted to in the first place.”

Katya just looked at her, a more serious expression on her face now. She seemed to be taking in every detail of Natasha’s appearance, studying her so attentively that the redhead started feeling shy under her gaze. Before she realised what was happening, Katya started getting up. She put on her jacket and Natasha would never admit how much she hated seeing all that skin being covered up. Right as the brunette was about to walk away, she turned around one last time.

“Saturday night, nine PM, be ready and wait outside. I’ll have a car pick you up.”

With that, Katya walked towards the exit, leaving Natasha to gather her thoughts as she made her way upstairs. The rest of the night was spent thinking about Katya, and that damn smile of hers. The brunette was the only person she’d met in their home country, who didn’t hurt her. The only person who made her feel like life may not be all that bad when you have someone to share it with. Leaving that town had been one of the most painful things she’d experienced, and she’s been through a lot. Being forced to leave the only person she had truly loved and felt connected to up until then had felt like someone ripped apart her heart. The worst part was that she wasn’t given a reason, her foster parents seemed to have decided overnight not to want her anymore.

She’d since learned to live with all the abandonment she’s had to go through, and she’s worked on becoming a better person ever since she left her home country. While she was well aware that this was much too early to think about having Katya in her life at all, she couldn’t help but feel excited at the prospect of getting to know her again.

That night, Natasha went to sleep feeling hopeful. Maybe she would’t end up alone, doing this job, after all.

[taradactyls]

The full Bennet Family Finances endnote from Ch33

I’ve been doing some more maths (ch26 has the initial discussion) on the savings that our characters might do/should’ve done since it’s fascinating to me and some of the comments I’ve been getting have been making me think more about it. One of the common themes is surprise at just how negligent the Bennets were at saving, instead of merely being stretched thin by expenses. I understand this completely, as it isn’t something that’s explicit in an easily recognisable way for modern audiences.

So, where could they have been more economical? They don’t go to London, no one has a gambling addiction, all travelling (which was EXPENSIVE) is done cost effectively, and they certainly didn’t spend all the money on tutors and the like for their daughters. I’m sure there’s actual academic papers by historians on this (I miss my uni access to those so much) but I can take some educated guesses.

We know Mrs Bennet is just bad with household management. Part of which might mean ordering too much food (it’s mentioned she keeps a good table, so this is as close to canon as we can get) and perhaps not being efficient with what she does order, ie wanting different meats from night to night, instead of having the leftovers served as stews or whatnot, not keeping an eye on the prices of sugar, salt, etc to buy when they’re cheap, making special orders instead of purchasing what’s readily available, etc. We know none of the Bennet women assist in the kitchen (as the Lucases do) so that’s more work for servants and thus likely to contribute to the need of an extra servant or higher wages. Household management could also be more innocuous things like always buying the expensive bees-wax candles, instead of using tallow when guests aren’t around or in out-of-the-way rooms. And being inefficient with candle usage (this is likely a Mr Bennet flaw too, if he enjoys reading in his library at night) in order to have a room better lit than strictly necessary. There was a reason families all tended to gather in one room after dark, and the Bennets notably don’t. Also having fires in all the principal rooms instead of just the ones likely to be used that day. If there’s ways to be inefficient with funds when it comes to cleaning, I’m sure they found a way there, too. Basically, anything that requires forward planning to help with economy would be lacking.

 But that’s all ‘essentials’ just done inefficiently, what luxuries might they have had? They have the income to warrant their carriage, horses, and it seems Mr Bennet does hunt, but that’s also a standard expense for his wealth, so let’s focus on what might be pushing them to their limits. Other than the over-provisioned dining table, which we’ve mentioned, nothing about their socialising habits seems excessive. Mrs Bennet’s love of fashion could be pushing her wardrobe bill up, Mr Bennet’s love of books could be a VERY expensive hobby, and of course – five daughters out at once. Having five daughters out (especially unnecessarily as Lydia and even Kitty were quite young to be out) cost a LOT of money. Lady Catherine was rude as anything, but her surprise at the fact was warranted. Other than money, it also meant the daughters were in direct ‘competition’ for the same limited amount of suitors, which theoretically might hurt the elder girls’ chances. Five distinct wardrobes for young women which needed gowns for all occasions, going through dance shoes and gloves very quickly, bonnets, etc, all added up. At the start of the book multiple hundreds of pounds a year would be going to keeping their daughters looking the part while mixing in society.

But Jane’s only twenty-one or twenty-two at the start of the novel, and came out at fifteen at the earliest. Yet the Bennets still never saved money, and never overspent their income, so there were other expenses they were able to drop which had been preventing them from saving money for the first sixteen or so years of their marriage. I think it’s fair to assume there’s random, one-time bigger expenses that were undertaken with any substantial spare money: perhaps the hermitage Mrs Bennet mentions is a newer addition, was the coach (which are normally ordered around the start of a marriage) refitted more recently, how often is the décor of Longbourn updated (and on that note, are things like the sofa reupholstered or completely replaced), do they impulse buy vases and sculptures, make sure whatever alcohol they do buy (which appears to be a reasonable amount for their class) is the expensive stuff, etc. Whatever it is, it’s a both parent problem. Mrs Bennet is bad at money management and instead of changing her habits or preparing her daughters for financial hardship puts pressure on them to marry (preferably rich, but she doesn’t seem to have a complaint about Wickham in that regard). Mr Bennet is smart enough to see that there is a problem and how to fix it, but after his first idea fails (have a son to break the entail and thus provide for his widow and other children – which doesn’t even necessarily mean the girls would get a dowry, just that they would never live in poverty) does nothing to reassess the issue or find a solution. He essentially shrugs his shoulders and lets his daughters shift for themselves. One parent is too stressed about money and only addresses it negatively, and the other isn’t stressed enough and doesn’t address it seriously at all. Neither do anything productive, even though changing their habits would be enough to fix it. I love them, but MASSIVE parenting failure on their end; and hinted to occur because the parents were too used to comforts and different themselves to be able to work together and act on a solution.

Now for some actual MATHS! Which, yes, I realise I am strangely excited about.

The idea that most of the Bennets’ money is spent by having so many daughters out at once seems to keep popping up in my time on the internet. So, I thought it would be interesting to see what their dowries could be if that five-daughters-out-at-once money wasn’t spent on other things before any daughters were out. Costs of this could vary a bit between families, and though we know Lydia’s expenses were almost £100 per annum that includes board and food as well as little gifts from Mrs Bennet, so we can’t simply multiply that by five and be done with it. But, given Mrs Bennet’s desire for fashion and the poor financial management we see from her and some of her daughters, it’s quite possible clothes were being bought new rather than pulled apart and remade more than they ought to be, so spending £50 to £60 a year on each daughter being ‘out’ seems reasonable. For the purposes of this, let’s look at a total of £250 and £300 a year for all five, and in the 4%s because that’s where the money settled on Mrs Bennet apparently is. After sixteen years of marriage (when we will assume Jane comes out) that’s £5,456 or £6,547. Meaning that just doubled their dowry, even if they save nothing else after that. If the interest is left alone, that’s more than £1,000 that’s added to it before the novel even begins. Suddenly Mr Bennet dying at the start of the novel would leave his widow and daughters with between £11,500-£13,000 instead of the meagre £5,000 they actually have.

And the girls didn’t all come out at once, so just to put some numbers to it for math purposes, let’s say Elizabeth came out one year after Jane, Mary two years after her, Kitty another two years later, and Lydia the following year. For simplicity, each girl coming out is going to remove the same amount of money (when realistically it’s likely Jane, who needs everything new, and Lydia, who’s spoilt, would have cost the most). With the lower estimates of expenses, that’s £8,062 saved at the time of the novel, taking the total for Mrs Bennet and the girls to £13,602 or £2,612 each, assuming nothing else is saved. At the higher cost for the girls being out, that’s £9,676 saved and £14,676 that they’ll eventually inherit a share of. Still below what they should have as dowries, but a vast improvement, and proof of why having five daughters out at once was an additional strain but not THE strain. It was just another element in a mountain of problems.

“But what if it was in the 5%s?” asks no one but me. I think they would stick to the more stable bonds Mrs Bennet’s dowry is in, but if they didn’t, the same situation as above would save £9,243 (or £14,243 total) or £11,090 (£16,090 to share or £3,218 each).

For pure funsies, the numbers if Mr and Mrs Bennet had also saved the interest of the £5,000 settled upon her (which by itself would grow to £12,324 in the 4%s) in addition to these savings are:

£20,387 (£4,077 each at the start of the novel) with the £250 expenses estimate. At £300 for all five daughters out, we get to £21,998. Both of these numbers suddenly mean the Miss Bennets would never have to fear poverty when Mr Bennet died and they would individually each be as rich as their mother was, and though they wouldn’t be counted as rich themselves, would at least have something respectable. They might not cost their husbands money to marry.

AND THEN if everything is in the 5%s but that original £5,000, and the interest it gains is also moved to the higher interest account, the grand total would be either £22,528, again assuming the £250 expenses, and £24,376 at the £300 estimate.

I’ve been doing some equations for Darcy, too. So, let’s talk about that next chapter, to give me time to really figure it out.

[aco1yte]

hiiiii lev :3 u literally just made a whole page but if u drew any more johanna i will go absolutely insane & hurt myself and others. please.

Johanna’s victor interview costume concept :333333 I was very excited to post this because I spent an ungodly amount of time designing it so if you don’t wanna see the insane ramblings of a huge nerd just skip the entire next section but here are my original concepts, moodboard, inspiration, and symbolism in the final costume:

Here is everything I wrote at the moment of conceptualizing my thoughts (apologies if it’s incomprehensible)

“I’ve been thinking About how katniss’ victor interview dress is specifically designed in a certain way to make her look the most innocent and to explain her actions in the arena . And I was like omg. What would Johanna’s stylist do now that she’s totally different than when she entered ?? So.

Ok so basically they explain in catching fire that Johanna’s whole ‘strategy’ was to act really afraid and small until it came down to it and she was actually really strong because of all her time chopping trees or whatever .. But Johanna was only 17 when she won her games and I think more likely she was scared into it, since district 7 is a poor district and she definitely wasn’t a volunteer. But the capitol was OBSESSED with her uncharacteristic brutality in the arena and basically made it her brand, ppl liked it so much that they attempted to do something (probably traffic her) which she refused and they killed her whole family and everyone that mattered to her.

But if I was a rich capitol stylist and I wanted to capitalize on the way she killed the other tributes (which was hacking them with a battle axe) I would use her interview costume the same way cinna used katniss’ to accentuate her innocence, but in the opposite way ? If that makes sense. Like they would want to make her look as intentionally brutal and cruel as possible bc that’s what they sold after her victory (like finnick’s sexual promiscuity or Peeta and katniss’ unconditional love), and in fact it was so successful that before getting to know her katniss says she seems like she genuinely enjoys murdering people. So I wanted her dress to accentuate the way she would have looked in her worst moments, covered in like the parts of the other tributes bc that’s how she’s remembered.

Also I really like those frilly collars on her bc they’re pretty and couture but at the same time it’s so subtly insulting because it somehwat insinuates that she needs to be collared like a violent animal (even though she only did what she was forced to) (…)”

@kozuelovemail this is for you. You sparked me into this insanity