#but there’s no part I enjoy more than the other. they’re all the same amount of work to me and then I get it done and move on to the next

[bixels]

Hey, I’m a big fan of your work. I was just wondering, What’s your favourite part about art?

No favorite part. The whole process sucks from start to end. It just sucks more if I don’t do it at all.

[kingkat12]

fuck-me eyes and first times (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, piv sex, loss of virginity, inexperienced sex?, oral sex (female receiving), mutual masturbation, awkward real moments lol, dry-humping, use of contraceptives, drunk driving, Roman using his powers for good?, blood, FLUFF, a dash of angst

summary: you've been unlucky with your first times all your life-- but tonight, you're sleeping with the equivalent of your shooting star.

word count: 12,139 (i love you guys, do u see)

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10

a/n: FINALLY THEY’RE FUCKING ISTG?? tihiii this is a bit of a different chapter!! i'm dead tired of reading smut where everything goes perfectly the first time and they barely communicate, so hopefully this will be a bit more realistic (hopefully!!) sorry for the wait, and hope you enjoy!!!!!!;)

The first time I broke a bone, I kicked my foot into the wall in a fit of rage.

The first time I got an A on a test, I cheated by writing the answers under my skirt. 

And the first time I lost a friend? That was the story of how I got here in the first place.

To say my track record for first times was bad, was an understatement. I didn't see myself as an angel of the world. However, as I glanced to the side for a brief moment at an intersection, I looked directly at the man who'd often joke he was the devil. Roman had spread out in the passenger seat, still a little drunk as his long legs rested against the dashboard. It didn't matter how many times I told him to take them down, that if I were to crash his car he'd fold in two and die-- he didn't care. 

We were still a little intoxicated from the party, but I was in a better condition than him, which was why I was driving; something he'd never let me do if he wasn't in this state. Roman's head lolled back against his seat, his eyes closing as he hummed along to the music. Space Song by Beach House was always my favorite song to drive to at night, and I was glad he seemed to like it as well.

The first time I heard this song, I had been driving home after getting introduced to Letha at a party. I was over the moon, happy to have finally found a person in this wretched town that I could enjoy the company of. I had been so dreadfully bored of all the others. 

Letha was a good hugger. A good listener-- never scared to tell the truth, especially as we grew closer.

"Roman is my baby cousin, I love him to death, but damn he can be annoying," she had said, smiling at me as she leaned against the kitchen counter. "The amount of friends I have lost to him is just crazy. Every single one seems to fall over like dominoes whenever he's around, and honestly? I don't get it. Maybe it's because we're related and all, but there has to be a fucking limit to how many times something like this can happen? How many times can he sleep with my friends and get away with it? Him doing that is the same as me sleeping with Peter, it's just not okay! I would never fucking do that! This situation is becoming hysterical, to be honest."

I remember frowning-- "Hysterical?"

"Yeah... If I wasn't so pissed at him, I'd just laugh at the absurdity," Letha's green eyes remained kind despite the heaviness of the topic. "But at the end of the day, I'm glad I get to keep you to myself. My previous friends were nothing compared to you."

Letha's words were sweet, but something felt off. I smiled as I spoke, hoping to keep my query a light one; "What do you mean, keep me to yourself? Gonna chain me up, Letha?" I gave her shoulder a nudge as she laughed. 

"Not like that, you freak! I mean that Roman doesn't seem interested in you at all, so I feel safe that you'll stay. And if he were to be, you'd never do anything like that to me," She put away her empty can of beer, and something in her eyes shifted just a smidge-- I wouldn't have caught it if my senses hadn't been sharpened by the mention of his lack of interest in me. 

"... Right?" Letha asked, urging a response. It seemed to dawn on her that she sounded on the brink of bitterness, and she broke out into an even wider smile to compensate; "You don't seem like the type to sleep with my cousin, but maybe I'm wrong?"

"Never," was what I had answered that night.

Never... Gosh, I was delusional to think I could behave. 

Once again, I glanced at Roman at the next red light, watching the way one strand of hair strayed from his stylings and laid in a soft wave over his forehead. He opened his big, green eyes, smirking as he realized he was being watched-- "Eyes on the road,"

It was embarrassing how fast I blushed. I quickly nodded, gripping the steering wheel harder as I fixated on the red light above us. "Was it the next intersection I needed to get off on?" I asked, hoping not to linger on the subject of my peeking. "Could you maybe turn on the GPS on my phone just in case you fall asleep?"

"I'm not sleeping," Roman prompted, holding out his hand to take my phone.

As I reached for it in my back pocket, I felt it vibrate as the lights turned green. I gave Roman my phone, in a rush to not miss the light even though we were the only ones on the highway. "Who's calling?" 

Roman didn't answer me-- I pieced together who it was when he started greeting my mom.

Oh no. 

I freed one hand from the steering wheel, trying to get a hold of my phone as Roman quietly laughed at my attempt. I didn't succeed; "Yeah, she's here," he said, grinning as he motioned for me to keep driving. "I hoped to have her stay over at my place tonight, as my mother is desperate to meet your lovely daughter."

I rolled my eyes, mouthing a simple fuck you. Roman had to bite down on his lip to suppress a laugh-- we both knew his mom was out of town and that his intentions were far from anything as pure as to introduce me to her. 

My mom seemed flustered by his pleasantries on the other side of the phone, but I couldn't make out the specifics of what she was saying. It didn't sound like she was objecting, though. 

Roman nodded along as he turned down the music on the stereo and (finally) removed his legs off the dashboard. "No, of course, I wouldn't dream of giving your daughter any alcohol! Yes-- Yes, we were at a party just now, but we're both sober as rocks!" He glanced at me, mischief dancing in the green of his eyes.

The look on his face now was priceless. Although he was lying to my mom right up her face (her ear?), he still looked damn charming as always.

"Uh-huh..." Roman mumbled, now reciting his phone number at her request. "We'll probably be up having dinner, so you can call me anytime if you have any questions!-- Yes, I know it's late to have dinner, but my mother is European like that. Your daughter is in good hands, don't worry!"

I rolled my eyes once more, knowing how fond my mom was of him and how easily she'd eat all of this up. When Roman finally got off the call, he broke out into a string of laughter-- "Your mom is so damn sweet, but I can tell she's terrified we'll have sex. It seems you've taken after her,"

"I'm not terrified!" I whined, turning left to get off the highway.

He snorted; "I was two seconds away from telling her I have a stash of condoms, and that she shouldn't worry about having to take care of a mini-me when you leave for college,"

I did my best not to blush-- this conversation was getting more and more suggestive. "Shut up," I mumbled. "I'm not terrified."

Roman's eyes softened as he sat back in his seat and watched me drive his car. I knew I was giving away my true feelings regarding the matter with the way I was anxiously tapping my fingers against the steering wheel. I continued; "I just had you locked in a closet trying to convince you I'm not. It's not that big of a deal,"

"Relax, I'm just teasing you," Roman ran his fingers through his hair, gazing into the rearview mirror to check how messed up it had gotten. His red car had an open roof, after all. He sighed, trying to choose his next words wisely. "Not a big deal, you say?"

"Well..." I was unsure whether to be honest or not.

Roman nodded, looking out at all the trees passing us by. His silence was unnerving, and I turned up the music to tune it out. I couldn't stand this. Something in him switched; Maybe he was upset that I said it wasn't a big deal? Or maybe he was realizing it was a big deal to him? I needed to change the subject; "This is the right direction, no? I feel like I'm just driving deeper into the forest--"

"I've never told you this, but after the first time we kissed, I kept having the same dream where never left the seven minutes in heaven closet," Roman placed his head in the palm of his hand as he leaned his elbow against the car door, sighing. "Over and over, every night. Nearly drove me mad. And in the dream, there were no seven minutes, no time limit. So it was just you and I, and we were going at it like fucking crazy."

I held my breath, my eyes widening further with every sentence. What? Was he drunk-rambling or was this something else?

Roman sighed again, attempting to relax as he closed his eyes and stilled in his seat. Like this, I could nearly mistake him for being asleep. "It all started with me wanting to fuck you," he mumbled. "But every night, at the end of the dream, I got greedy... Because suddenly, I also wanted you to love me." 

Had I not been good at keeping calm, I would've probably crashed the car into the nearest tree. I didn't get much time to process, to feel the weight of his confession, until Roman snapped out of it like a character taken straight out of an animation, now sitting up; "Turn here,"

I drove up to a huge gate, stopping the car as I tried to steady my breathing. "Roman--"

"Two seconds," he said, getting out of the car to walk up to the intercom. He was as good as normal now.

I was left still gripping the steering wheel for dear life, my mouth opening and closing as I tried to find the right words. I watched as Roman typed in a code, and the massive gate slowly opened as he jumped back into the car. 

My breath was still held in my chest as I turned to him, eyes wider than plates of expensive china. 

Roman glanced back at me with an innocent smile; the mood had completely switched. "Breathe," he cooed, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "It's just a mansion." With a sharp intake of air, he glanced at the backseat and the crumbled-up hot pink crop top we had brought with us (stolen, actually) from the party-- "A mansion with a possibility to put that anomaly in the fucking laundry."

I turned towards it as well, returning to my mind at the sight of the obnoxious colour of the top-- Knowing I had made him cum into the fabric of it merely an hour ago still felt like a triumph.

... Was it maybe my turn, now?

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And he was right-- this was an absolute castle of a house. I had suppressed the truth about Roman's wealth for as long as I could, not wanting to think about it in case my mind went haywire about it, but now it was smacking me in the face.

Still, Roman's hand on the small of my back was a comfort as he led me through the mansion on the most impromptu show-around I've ever witnessed. "This is the room where I learned how to shoot darts," he mumbled, pointing at the small dents in the wall. "I didn't know the darts were actually stuck to the wall and not the printed dartboard I hung up..." He bent down, picking up the painting his mother had hung up to cover the indents.

I couldn't help but laugh, clinging to his arm as we moved from room to room. The mansion was gothic, vampy, but that might've just been my imagination playing with me. The tall ceilings were intimidating, yet beautiful-- judging by my surroundings, there was no denying that everything around me cost a fortune.

I was yanked out of my trail of thoughts when Roman led me behind a red curtain by one of the big windows in the next room, and I giggled as he wrapped it around us. My back was pressed against the wall, engulfed by both the curtain and Roman's embrace; "This is where I learned how to French," he whispered, smiling as he pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. "And it was horrible. She fucking bit me and I squealed like a girl."

If Roman was trying to distract me from what he had said in the car, he was certainly doing a good job. The mental image of his first French kiss kept me beyond entertained, and we both continued laughing as he got us out of the wrap of the curtain.

However, it was the walk up the circular stairs that truly made it dawn on me who I was dating-- Roman Godfrey, the future heir to a billion-dollar company. Fuck. I stared up at the painting above us, the one of him and his mother posing with a rather regal-looking background. He couldn't have been more than fourteen in that picture, and I could see his classic intimidating stare through the painting and the way he clutched the chair his mother was posed on. It was clear that the boy in the painting didn't want to be there at all.

Roman turned, realizing what I was looking at; "I fucking hate that one," he grumbled, giving my hand a squeeze. "I refused to smile at that age. I look like I'm on the brink of killing myself."

"Not true," I squeezed his hand back. "Give yourself some grace. How old were you?"

"Fourteen,"

There you go. "Judging by the painting, I think we could've been friends at fourteen,"

Roman stopped in the middle of the curved stairway, his brows drawing together. "How so?"

I shrugged, trying not to focus on how much taller he was than me. If I thought about it for too long, I'd jump him. "Because I wore all black for about a year. If you refused to smile, and I refused to show any joy, I think we would've been a killer duo,"

Roman blinked twice before cracking into a chuckle. "That's unexpected,"

"Bet,"

"You're all... cute and bubbly now,"

"You think?" I wasn't sure how much I agreed. "The girl that's fucking around with her ex-best friend's cousin?"

Roman had to bite down another laugh. "What do you mean, fucking around? I haven't as much as touched you compared to how I could've,"

Oh.

Oh God.

I held back a shiver, staring up at him as he resumed leading me up the stairs. "But... you have touched me,"

"Sure," Roman proceeded to get a proper look at me in the darkness of the night when we reached the second floor. The green around his widened pupils practically shone-- it was impressively cat-like. "Impossible not to, with those fuck-me eyes of yours."

"Hey!" I wasn't sure why I was protesting, but I knew his snicker egged me on. "I don't have... that!"

I could see that Roman was on the brink of cooing at me, and he sucked in a sharp breath as he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip. I hadn't seen him this amused in a while. "Right," he purred. "You don't. Not a trace at all." With a short kiss on my forehead, he moved away from me and started walking down the dark corridor. "Keep those fuck-me eyes in the hallway, and I might let you sleep tonight."

I sighed before gearing up into a walking sprint to catch up with his long strides-- If only he knew that sleep was the last thing on my mind. 

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When we finally reached Roman's bedroom, I couldn't believe the size of it. My room was nothing in comparison. I had certainly not expected the posters-- there were many rare classic horror films and some bands I was sure his mom probably loathed. However, I was surprised by the lack of half-naked models on his walls which I had always imagined; I let out a short, relieved breath. "Your room is nice,"

Roman hummed, throwing his jacket on a chair nearby. "Not too boyish for you?" 

"Nah," I mumbled, walking up to the posters on the opposite wall. There were a lot of movies I hadn't seen yet-- still, I couldn't help but laugh a little when I saw The Godfather. "It's very you."

"How great that you like me, then," 

"Lucky for you, yeah," There was something about this room that I couldn't help but love-- this was where Roman woke up and fell asleep. This was where he probably spent most of his time. I wondered whether the pillows smelled of his going-out cologne or the lighter one he usually wore to school. I wondered whether he'd been caught smoking in here, whether he'd done coke with Peter on his desk, and how many girls he'd had up here. By the likes of it, I somehow doubted anything like that ever happened at his place. If he had waited this long to have me over, I decided it was highly unlikely he'd invite someone he didn't know very well. 

I clasped my hands behind my back, taking long strides as I scanned the many posters on his walls.

Roman sat down on the chair by his desk, spreading out as he watched me with a smirk. "Not what you expected?"

I turned to him, my brows drawing together; "Why? Are you nervous or something?"

"I'm not nervous," Roman huffed, folding his arms over his chest. Now that I was looking straight at him, it was clear that he was. "I'm simply asking."

A knowing smile crept up my cheeks-- it felt like I had the upper hand, for once. "You're nervous,"

"Am not!"

"And now you're fidgeting,"

I was correct; Roman's right leg had given into a slight bounce. He rolled his eyes, muttering curse words under his breath. "It's not every day that I have girls up here, okay? I'm never here, stuff always happens at someone else's-- well, now your room. Because this is, like... my lair,"

I had to bite back an amused smirk; "Your evil lair?"

"Bingo. This is where I dissect people and stuff," He pointed to the table next to him. "So... yeah. Your opinion matters to me, I guess."

"Oh, does it now?"

"On some things, sure,"

I nodded, focusing on how the moonlight was dipping into the dark brown of Roman's hair. He didn't have to be so pretty all the time, did he? How rude. "Such as...?"

With a shrug, Roman now gazed at the tall ceiling. Like this, he almost looked bored. "Your opinion of me is the one that comes to mind, I guess,"

"My opinion of... you?" That was new. 

Roman met my eyes again, this time with a new emotion-- his head was slightly tilted to the side, and he was looking at me through his brows. I had a feeling he didn't intend the look to be as intimidating as it was. "It fluctuates,"

"My opinion?"

"Yep," he said. "Some days, you look at me like I'm everything. And then, the next day, I'm the biggest asshole in the world."

My lips drew together in a tight line-- this was unexpected. "And here I thought I was the only consistent thing in your life," I mumbled. "I don't know, Rome, every couple has its ups and downs, no? But I don't want them to make you doubt what I feel for you. Because... you know, right?" I started taking wary steps across the room. "You know I adore you, there is no way you've managed to miss that?"

With a sigh, Roman sat back in his chair with a smile. "Sure, I know that," he murmured, watching my every step with anticipation. "And I bet that tree you carved our initials into can attest."

Goddamn it. "You're never going to let go of that, are you?" 

As I finally approached him, Roman led me between his legs with a gentle hold around my waist. "Nope," He pressed his lips against my clothed chest, his fingers slowly digging into my top. My arms draped around his neck, and my next words were muffled against his hair; he reeked of his usual cinnamon-flavored cigarettes-- "But sure, if the tree ever starts talking, it will agree. You know I'm crazy about you,"

"Crazy is the keyword here,"

"Oh, shut up," I muttered, pulling away to get a proper look at him. Roman was so damn beautiful-- I had missed the sight of him in the past twenty-four hours I had been unsure of the state of our relationship. "I still can't believe you thought I was going to break up with you... Do you know how shitty you would have to be to drive me to that point?"

Roman pulled me back in again, enjoying the scent of my perfume with his next deep inhale; he pressed a short kiss to my neck. "Let me be paranoid," The next kiss lingered for longer, the warm exhale through his nose grazing my skin.

"But I don't want you to be," I tried. "I don't ever want you to doubt us like that. Never, ever again."

Roman stilled. With a sigh, he spoke; "Okay... but that's where you step into what people in my family call a deathtrap," He motioned for me to sit down in his lap, and with wary movements, I draped my arms around his neck and sat down, allowing him to place a sweet kiss to my cheek. "Deathtrap?" I echoed.

"Deathtrap," Roman shifted, placing one arm around my waist as his free hand traced small circles into my thighs. "Otherwise known as... hope." And just like that, it was as though his mind went elsewhere, as though something in his eyes shifted. 

However, I'd had enough of that-- I wasn't having any of it tonight. Knowing Roman saw hope as a deathtrap made my heart burn. Wary of not being too abrupt, I slowly placed a finger underneath his chin, catching his attention. "If you don't want to harbor any hope of your own, I'll lend you mine," I whispered, gently nudging his nose with mine. 

Roman's pupils dilated as his hot breath fanned against my upper lip. I could smell the beer on him, the cigarettes, yet the most prevalent was the anxiety-- it brushed upon my skin, and caressed my heart. "All of it, Roman," My hand went back into his hair, stroking through the softness of his locks. "All my hope, all my love... it's all yours to borrow. To keep, to mold, to steal, to hold, for as long as you like. It's not a trap of any kind. You're safe with me."

That was all it took, and so he gave in; with the smallest of sighs, Roman closed his eyes, relishing in the moment. "You make me feel... you make me feel," he echoed, almost in disbelief. "It's a painful thing, is it not?"

I dared to let my hand brush down the side of his face, my thumb gently ghosting over his closed lid to feel the softness of his lashes against the pad of my finger. "It doesn't have to be. It could feel really, really good,"

Roman let out a shaky breath against me; "I want that for you," he said, opening his eyes. The green in his eyes shone in the white shimmer of the moonlight, illuminating the intent in his words. "Want to make you feel good... in every way possible." 

Something about the drop in his voice nearly made me shiver-- I couldn't allow myself to, not in his lap. It took a few seconds for me to notice that I was holding my breath, staring back at him with a look on my face which I hoped didn't give away too much. Maybe I had misinterpreted his words? Maybe Roman meant that in a romantic way?

However, with the following upward curve of the corners of his mouth, so small I could barely notice it, I knew my intuition had been right. Roman definitely meant that in a different way. 

... I needed to listen to my intuition more, didn't I?

Roman's hand on my thigh lifted, now removing the vial of blood around my neck to place it on the table nearby; he proceeded to put his palm against my cheek with the gentlest touch, softly caressing my skin with his thumb. This was when it dawned on me that we were alone. Completely alone. Possibly for the first time ever. No interruptions, with no one to hear anything. Had this been a month ago, that fact alone would've been enough to make me jump off his lap, and I would've probably paced up and down along his room with nervous steps to soothe my anxiety. Being alone with him meant that I wouldn't be able to contain my need for him, I was sure of it.

But now? I believed Roman could do that for me. Soothe me. He could calm me down like no other. Now, I knew he wouldn't run off after getting what he wanted-- because now, I knew that what he truly wanted was me. 

"Could you let me do that?" Roman breathed, the green of his eyes finding my lips. I was confused as to how I hadn't melted into his lap already. "Make you feel good?" He leaned forward, just a few inches, now brushing the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip, transfixed. "Or... are you sure you want to do this? Have your first time with someone like me?"

There was something about the fact that he was even asking-- the old Roman would never. "Who else would I have my first time with? It's always been you," My lips parted in a soundless intake of breath, my gaze darting to his plush, pink lips. Like this, I could almost feel them against me; we had kissed so many times that my body remembered the sweet push of his lips simply by gazing at them. Still, I was afraid it would never be enough, and every kiss was as thrilling as the first one. "Just being with you like this feels good already."

Roman hummed, absentminded. "Not what I'm getting at,"

"I know," I breathed. "But I can't help but worry that--" I had to clear my throat, swallowing. Why was I getting so damn nervous? It was getting harder to breathe, and I was sure my cheeks were flushing. "Well... That I won't know what to do."

With a sigh, Roman bit down on his lip to hold back a laugh. "It's your first time, you won't have to do much," Despite his lids hanging heavy over his darkening eyes, I could see the want building in him. "I'll take the lead, okay? You just relax." He steadied me with his palm over my cheek before leaning forward-- my body hitched with caution as he brushed his lips across mine, slanted, until I allowed myself to give in. 

The soft pillow of Roman's lips was the sweetest pressure I had ever known. I could feel my blood heat with the intent of the kiss, and I suddenly got the urge to cross my legs to calm myself down-- I knew I couldn't. Roman's breath fell softly against my cheek as my hands went up into his hair, tugging gently at the tips of his dark locks as I kissed him back with my lips slightly parted, moving against his as though he was whispering me a question.

Maybe I didn't hear it-- maybe it was a warning? Had he actually whispered something, or was I imagining things? Because with the next second, Roman hooked his arm under my knees, lifting me off the chair as I yelped into the kiss. It didn't take long before I eased, telling myself he had lifted me many times before, and that he would never drop me. Never, ever. Roman smiled against my lips, humming just slightly as he carried me bridal-style across the room. It felt silly, cliché, until it dawned on me-- was he playing the cliché out for me? Was this what he perhaps imagined I wanted, something pure, something classically virginal?

In the few seconds our kiss was broken, Roman placed me down on the bed and watched as I giggled; it was impossible not to laugh as the recoil of the springs threatened to bounce me up in the air again. He tsked, now grinning as he made space between my legs, drawing me closer before he kissed me once more. It was bolder this time, pressing the soft fullness of his mouth against mine-- there was nowhere else for me to go but to him. 

My hands wove into Roman's hair again, pulling him closer as my heart thumped hard in my chest. Was this really happening? Or was this maybe something I was imagining, maybe the alcohol hadn't left my system yet? "Rome--"

Before I could continue, his lips were on mine again like a magnet, drawing us together, unable to separate the magnetic forces long enough to let me speak. It was confirmed; he was definitely here. This was real. There was an urgency to Roman's stubborn kisses-- you're mine, just accept it. Being kissed into submission was something I had never imagined was possible, yet here I was, my lips parting with a soft whimper, feeling his tongue against mine; it filled me with a complete and utter satisfaction, a final statement. 

I wanted him to devour me. As I coiled my fingers around Roman's dark hair, tugging him closer, I so desperately wanted only that. To melt into him, to become one-- was that maybe the core concept of sex which I had misunderstood all up until this exact moment? Just the thought of being connected with Roman like that, knowing he could possibly be inside me-- that thought had never evoked the physical reaction in me before as it did now. 

Well, fuck. I realized I was screwed before it had even happened.

Sucking in a sharp breath, the silk of Roman's expensive duvets kept me grounded as he softly groaned into my mouth. His tongue circled mine before gently sucking the tip of it into his mouth, and he listened to my whimpers as he withdrew shortly after, a lone string of saliva still linking us. I was unsure why I was left so speechless, why every little thing he did made me feel like my body was on fire, but I knew there was no rationality in need. The innate need ravaging through your veins. There was no way to make sense of it, and I was certain Roman was aware of that too. Yet suddenly, he was near-motionless, blinking twice as if he was a little lost on what to do, which I immediately thought was odd--

Oh. There it was. I was wondering when that would happen. 

So... Roman wasn't lost. Far from it. Flustered might be a better word-- I felt his erection poke into my stomach, and it made me realize how big his pupils had gotten. That was quick. "Uh... Surprise?" He awkwardly cleared his throat as his green eyes nearly devoured me whole. "Fuck it, there's one thing I want to do before we go on. It'll take a second."

I held my breath-- with Roman, that could mean anything. "... Okay?"

"Don't look so scared," he teased, getting off the bed and walking to his nightstand. In my head, I wondered whether he was grabbing condoms, or whether he was about to impose something kinky on me. I was ready to start my rehearsed lecture on going slow with me, that it was my first time and everything, until my mind blanked at the sight of a... candle?

Roman got a lighter nearby, looking back at me with a trying smile. "You once said that me and sweet don't go together," he explained, lighting the candle. "On our first date, I believe, if we can call it that. The blackmail part of it was probably not ideal, but it counts in my head. Anyway, I thought you might be right about the sweet part... but it doesn't mean I shouldn't try to be."

I was afraid I'd melt much, much faster than that candle. "Don't tell me you went out and bought that candle just for this?"

Roman shrugged, hoping to brush it off. "Well... I was determined to prove you wrong. And I had a candle for my first time, and I guess it eased me a little. But, uh... I think this is actually a funeral candle," 

"I see," I had to contain a laugh. Sitting up, I reached for his fingers as I longed to touch him again; "Well, no one's dead yet, but the night is still young."

Unable to hold it, Roman snorted, placing the lighter back on the nightstand before he interlocked our fingers. "I'm never doing anything like this again, so I suggest you cherish it,"

"What? But now I'm growing fond of the funeral candle, you're breaking my heart!"

Roman rolled his eyes, sinking down on the bed again, and he brought our intertwined fingers above my head. "If that's what I need to do to get you in my bed, I'll buy the whole fucking candle company," 

There was something exciting about the fact that Roman genuinely could. It wasn't just an empty threat. If he got high enough one night, I was sure he'd know who to call. I was surprised to feel he was still hard now that his erection was pressed up against me once more, but I didn't get much time to think about it-- Roman freed one of his hands, and he managed to make his way under my top as he kissed me once more.

My breath hitched against the soft push of his lips as it hit me that I might have to get fully naked for this. Fuck. Okay. Yet my anxiety eased at the thought of him being fully naked too-- I found my hips keening up against him, my need for friction growing with my arousal. 

Roman smiled into the kiss; it was a ravenous feeling. "Impatient?" he asked, barely leaving my lips.

"Yeah," It was merely a breath-- I felt his hand ghost over my bra, slowly tracing the hem. I could barely think, too excited to function anymore.

"No need," Roman pulled away, letting go of the remaining hand above my head as his fingers now toyed with the edge of my top. "We have all the time in the world."

His tone was enough to bring scarlet to my cheeks, but I nodded, swallowing when he bunched the fabric up in his hands and lifted it up and off of me. I raised my arms, pouting just slightly at the loss of contact-- who would've thought I'd get more drunk from kissing Roman than the beer Peter gave me earlier? 

With a sigh, Roman's eyes consumed me; the smirk with which he looked down at me only made me more flustered. "Rome," I whined, reaching my hands out for him. "Stop that, get back here. This isn't anything new." That was true-- me in my bra wasn't a sight he hadn't seen before. 

Roman tsked, sending me a stern look. "You're disturbing my thought process,"

"Your thought process?--"

"Yep," he said, shrugging. "I'm just thinking about how I want to cum right..." Roman trailed a line across my lower abdomen with his finger, using a touch so light it immediately made me squirm. "... here."

The squirming quickly turned into a small shiver, and my hands went straight to my face as my blush deepened. 

There was a change in Roman which was noticeable by the way he lost his smile, lost in whatever images he had in his head as he now leaned back down, pressing eager kisses to the apex of my collarbones. His lips trailed down my body, his fingers digging into the sides of my waist-- his mind was gone. I tugged at his hair as he inched further away, and I whimpered at the sensation of his tongue tracing a circle around my belly button. I never expected myself to like anything like that, but damn-- heaven. This was heaven. 

I was reminded of how much bigger Roman was than me when I was suddenly yanked to the edge of the bed, and I could only yelp as I did nothing to fight it. His hands trailed down the sides of my hips, now hooking his fingers around my panties, not yet taking them off-- instead, he was kissing me through my soaked underwear, humming. 

Christ, this was something I could get used to. I managed to register the fact that he wasn't on the bed anymore, and I propped myself up on my elbows with the last remaining power I had to confirm my suspicions. Roman stopped for a moment, pulling away to glance right back at me; "What?"

"You're... kneeling,"

"... Yeah?"

It didn't register in my head. "You don't kneel for anyone," The Roman Godfrey didn't get on his knees for anyone in the world. In my mind, he thought the world should be kneeling to him, and that he would never stoop so low.

However, the look he gave me in return told me everything I needed to know. Come on, now. Roman pulled my underwear off as he spoke, peeling it down my thighs; "I kneel for you," To him, that was as simple as a fact. The most logical thing in the history of the universe. He didn't even seem to deem the subject worthy of a further conversation, now grabbing my hips to bring me even closer to the edge of the bed as I let out a small squeak. Roman led my legs to hang over his broad shoulders as he leaned forward, rings of desire around his eyes as he licked a broad, flat stripe up my sex.

Fuck-- I did my best not to mewl as my fingers reached for his hair once more, twirling into the soft curls of his hair. "Rome--"

At this point, I was sure he wouldn't hear me no matter how loudly I spoke. Roman sensed I was about to start keening against him, and he pulled my legs back and held my thighs in place as he slicked his tongue in between my slit, mouth moving as though he was pressing deep, heavy kisses against me. I whimpered, my grip on his hair loosening as I felt my conscience slip into its usual drugged-on-Roman state. A very, very dangerous state of mind, if you ask me.

Giving me some time to breathe, Roman moved to leave soft kisses up along the crease of my thighs. "Keep your legs like this, okay?" he said, slowly trailing one hand up my thigh. Roman's finger teasingly tapped my clit, and he turned to watch the thin line of slick connecting the pad of his finger to me. It was hard not to squirm, and I brought one hand up to my mouth to hopefully suppress any noise. "Rome, what are you?--"

Oh. My breath hitched as he eased his slicked middle finger into me, careful to go in with slow strokes. I whined against my hand when Roman's mouth returned to me, sealing his perfect lips around my swollen nub, adding pressure. It was almost too much-- I felt myself clench around his finger when he curled it upwards, just as his lips covered my mound, sucking me in. 

"Christ," I breathed, reaching down to grab a hold of Roman's hair, the slick sounds of his mouth making goosebumps appear along my skin as I contained a shiver. "Shit, Rome, it feels-- so, so good--"

My mindless ramble came to an end with the next hitch of my breath; Roman added another finger, humming against me as an answer. With how nervous I was, it was a tight fit, and the sting that followed made me instinctively tighten my fist in his hair, my skin straining over my knuckles. It was hard to keep still, a string of whimpers escaping my lips. 

My hands shook as Roman continued slowly stroking his fingers into me. I wondered whether he could feel my anxiety seeping into my lust-- it was becoming so real. Roman's green eyes darted up at me, stilling his fingers, giving me time to adjust. He pulled away from me, leaving his digits in me as he spoke; "I'm not gonna last long if you tighten up like that later," 

His words conjured a deep blush to my cheeks, and I brought my hands up to my face to hide. "Sorry," I breathed. "I don't-- don't know what's happening."

Roman shrugged, placing a wet, gentle kiss against the inside of my thigh. "You're nervous. It's normal," His hot breath ghosted over my soaked sex as he moved to the other thigh-- "I think it'll help if I make you cum like this. You'll relax more. And I'll keep my fingers in, get you used to the feeling... Unless you want them out?"

For a man who said he didn't deal with virgins, he certainly knew how to talk one down from the cliff. I let out a shaky breath, peeking down at him past my fingers; "N-No, it's okay,"

Roman seemed to be holding back a laugh; "You look a little spooked,"

"I... do?" Knowing my boyfriend, I knew he probably found that incredibly hot.

"A bit. Wanna stop?--"

"No!" That was a little too quick. Fuck. 

Roman chuckled as he proceeded to bite down on the inside of my thigh with a teasing smirk-- I squeaked, clenching around his fingers. "Good," he purred, leaning forward to press a short kiss to my clit, drawing out another squeak from me. Something told me he liked the sound of my pleasured panic. "It's been some time since the last time you let me do this. I've missed the taste of you."

"... It's been, like, four days,"

Roman let out a groan, and I could see in his eyes that it was building in him-- the innate lust. "A fucking eternity," he breathed, a new rasp appearing in his voice. With that, Roman didn't lose a single second leaning back down, slicking his tongue between my folds, returning to suck down on my clit with a moan. 

Oh, well-- I knew I was done for. Still, knowing his goal was to make me cum, knowing I didn't have to hold back, I let my hands wander back into his hair with a whimper of pleasure. It didn't take long before I clenched around his fingers again, the burn of the stretch subsiding with every flick of Roman's tongue. 

"Fuck," I breathed. "Fuck, fuck--"

Any attempt to speak dissolved into incoherent cries, teetering on the edge while pleasure surged through me like a relentless wave. Still, it didn't take more than two more sucks to ease me over, and I felt my climax drawing out long and slow against Roman's mouth, tightening around his fingers with a whimper. 

My head lolled along the duvets as I tried to catch my breath. With every time Roman did this, it only got better-- it was hard to believe that was even possible. I came to my senses when I felt his fingers slide out of me, the twinge of pain having long passed. 

"Fuck," Roman said, a laugh to his voice as he pressed kisses up along my stomach, getting up from the ground. "Best fucking pussy in the world."

God-- I hid my face again, my blush deepening. That dirty mouth of his. "That was so good," I purred, reaching out for him; "Come here, Rome. I miss you up here."

Chuckling, Roman shook his head, motioning for me to scoot further up the bed. "Just a sec," he said, walking back over to his nightstand, opening his drawer again and shuffling around. I did as told, watching him with a sigh; he was right, that orgasm had relaxed me. However, my zen didn't last long-- I suddenly felt all my muscles tightening when I watched Roman bring the fingers he just had in me to his lips, absentmindedly sucking on them as he now held up a silver wrapper with his free hand as though that was the most normal thing in the world. I also spotted a clear bottle which I could only assume was lube. 

What the fuck? The sight of him doing that made me want to disappear into the bed-- why was the sight so... thrilling? It must've been the look of enjoyment on his face. "Oh, that's hot," I mumbled, my eyes immediately widening with the realization of what I had just blurted out.

Roman cocked a brow as unclasped the vial of my blood around his neck, placing it next to the candle before he got back on the bed, now trailing the residue of spit and slick on his fingers across my thighs. "Well, you taste nice,"

"Not that nice?"

A hum; "Wanna try some, make up your mind?" he asked, a teasing smirk spreading across his plush lips as he brought his hand up to his mouth, wiping off the remnants of my slick to coat his fingers. 

I shivered, grimacing— "No, thanks," Hoping to distract Roman from trying to convince me, I sat up, reaching for the buttons of his shirt. Frankly, I had enough of being the only one that was undressed.

Roman hummed, following my hands with his eyes, grinning from ear to ear as he threw down the condom and the lube somewhere on the bed. "More for me, then," he mumbled, licking my slick off his fingers as he kept his gaze on me-- it didn't take long before he pushed me back down on the bed, unbuttoning the last of his buttons with ease I could never match. 

My heart had probably never worked this hard before in my life. "Rome," I tried, watching him discard his shirt. Fuck-- he was gorgeous. I could feel myself blushing in an instant, shamelessly looking him up and down; I knew he didn't mind. Why was I reacting like this? Roman being breathtakingly handsome wasn't news? "I think... I think--"

"You're still thinking?" Roman's hands gripped my waist as he leaned down, kissing up my torso as I whimpered beneath him, reaching for his hair again. "Stop thinking. No thinking."

"No thinking?" I echoed, giggling as his eager kisses reached my neck, getting ticklish. "You're asking for too much." Now that he was finally close again, I draped my arms around him, trailing my fingers across his broad shoulders with a sigh. Being skin-to-skin like this was my favorite thing in the world-- being connected.

Roman hummed, his erection once again pressing into my lower abdomen. "Either you stop thinking of your own volition..." he said, pulling my chest up against his. "... Or I'll have to fuck your brains out. Your choice."

I shivered, feeling my mind start buzzing. That was a damn easy choice. "That sounds rough," I mumbled, my breath hitching as Roman pressed a kiss to my ear. "You said you'd be gentle..." To be completely honest, this was the part I was nervous about-- would he maybe not be able to be? I was a little scared he'd be like one of those horror-story guys Letha had told me she'd been with, one of those guys that just slap you all of a sudden or start choking you cause they've seen it in porn and think that's normal behavior. 

Roman pulled away, hovering barely an inch above my lips; his breath grazed my cheek, and the green of his eyes were glazed over with a look of confusion. "Am I not being just that?" he asked, nodding to the candle.

Oh-- I turned to the supposed funeral candle. 

It allowed sweet a kiss to my cheek, the tip of his upturned nose pressing into my cheekbone; "Trust me. I wouldn't want to hurt you, you know me,"

He was right-- from the very first moment we got together, he had told me just that.

Still, it was only when I felt Roman's lips against mine with the softest of pressures, that I pushed my concerns away. It was the sort of kiss that made my heart burn, the sort of kiss that made my hands trail up into his hair to keen him closer. I pushed all my thoughts of horror into a heap, churned it in my mental grinder, processed it, and allowed the product of it to slip past my lips; "I want you," I breathed, feeling myself grow needy against him.

Roman hummed, a small roll of his hips onto mine following-- I didn't expect it to make my breath catch in my chest. "I want you too," 

Something in me ignited; I wanted him to do that again. Disoriented, I reached down for the zipper of his jeans, moaning into the kiss that followed. "Want you more," 

Roman smiled; "Not possible," 

At this moment, I was thankful to be made up of solid matter-- if not, I was sure I'd have melted straight into the bed, a puddle of pure horny. I wasn't sure when Roman lost his pants, too consumed in the kiss to function. My state of arousal only heightened when my hips bucked up, feeling the hard outline of his cock between my legs; I was suddenly reminded of the time we did something similar in an alleyway on our first day. But this was different-- this was a direct contact of his clothed length brushing up against my clit with repeating strokes, a motion which had my breath hitching as my nails dug into his shoulders.

Roman let out a soft groan, nipping at my neck as he ground down against me. "This," he breathed. "This is what you do to me. I wanna be in you so fucking bad."

With the next roll of his hips, I whimpered; the buzzing of my mind refused to still. "Have me, then," was all I managed to say, tugging at Roman's hair as the tips of my fingers burned.

What followed happened so fast, I barely registered it. I heard the ripping of the silver wrapping in the midst of our heated kiss, adrenaline and dopamine coursing through my veins as every little sweet word rolling off Roman's tongue filled me with that familiar warm feeling I always got around him.

For this, it was all worth it. All the drama with Letha, all the tears, all the pain-- it was all worth it. 

"You're everything," Roman whispered, rubbing the head of his cock along my soaked sex as my hands skimmed the muscular range of his back. "You're my everything, do you know that?"

God, how I wanted to be one with him. Wanted him in my head, wanted him in me, wanted to melt into him and become one single entity, never to part. From the first moment I met him, from the first moment I laid eyes on him in class, from the first moment he smiled at me, I knew it was Roman. It would always be Roman, it would always, always be Roman for me, and knowing he thought the same of me as well, that I was his everything-- all my longing, everything, had been worth it. Because I was his everything too, finally, just like he had always been mine. 

However, as Roman angled his cock and gently pushed the head in, kissing my cheek with the sweetest touch, I didn't expect the painful, sharp sting-- I wasn't sure how loudly I gasped, how far my nails dug into his back, but I was really damn certain that this hurt. 

Roman was out of me within the blink of a second; "Shit," he breathed, a panicked look in his eyes. "Should've-- Should've warned you."

The sting remained as I did my best to breathe through it. "That's a stretch," was all I managed to say, stroking over where I had scraped his back. 

"I'll take that as a compliment," Roman mumbled, scanning me. He didn't seem bothered by the crescent moons my nails were leaving behind. "You okay?"

"Yeah..."

He cursed under his breath, leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead. "I forgot about this part... My brain doesn't work when you're naked," Roman sighed, reaching for one of the hands I had on his back. "If you want to go on, I might know a way to make it a little easier."

I met his eyes as he brought the back of my hand to his lips; "I guess it's supposed to hurt a little, Roman, just... just do what you usually do, I trust you," Maybe I needed to push through it? I could take a little pain, couldn't I? That was until I remembered the pain again-- it made me clench. Ouch.

With a certain look I knew too well, he shook his head as he now wrapped his fingers around my wrist. "No. It's not supposed to hurt," he said. "And I said I wouldn't hurt you, so..." Roman trailed my hand down along my body, watching as my eyes widened. "In my experience, it helps if you... help."

"Help?"

"Help yourself, so to speak," Roman purred, his signature cocky smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Cause I doubt this will be your first time doing this."

"Doing what?-- Oh," As he placed my hand over my sex, he slid two fingers above mine, guiding me to rub my clit. Roman was right; it wasn't my first time doing that to myself. Still, this was a different feeling-- My hips immediately bucked up into our hands, and when Roman leaned down to kiss me, I knew I was done for. 

Everything felt warm, everything felt right. "Just keep doing that," he whispered, sinking his teeth into my lower lip. "Wanna?-- Again?"

Roman didn't need to use more words than that; I knew what he meant. I nodded, feeling my cheeks redden at the fact that I was touching myself in front of him like this-- however, I didn't have time to think much about it.

Soon, I wasn't the only one touching myself, anyway.

"Should've used this from the start," Roman mumbled, cursing under his breath as he poured a dash of lube on his cock from the clear bottle nearby. "Got too excited... fuck." With a lazy grip, he wrapped his hand around his length, spreading the lube with slow strokes. 

My mind was buzzing.. I watched as Roman's lips parted, a shaky breath escaping him. "It's okay," I tried, rubbing mindless circles around my clit. "It's just me."

"Yeah, and I care about you," Roman's eyes were halfway closed as they met mine, darkened with growing lust. "Ready?"

I nodded-- yeah.

This time, when Roman's cock pushed into me again with the slowest of strokes, the pleasure from my clit dulled the sting. The only thing left to adjust to was the stretch; my breath hitched as my free hand went back up into his hair, wincing against his lips as his thick length stroked me open. 

Roman cursed as his parted lips hovered above mine. He held me tightly against his body, watching out for any signs of discomfort before he spoke; "Shit... This feels better than I--thought," 

My head rolled back against the duvet, breathing against Roman with small heaves. "Rome," I whimpered. "Fuck, this is--" I didn't expect the feeling, didn't expect the tips of my fingers to burn more as I grasped at his hair, didn't expect the way my whole body reacted-- it was different from anything else I had ever felt or thought I could feel. Being filled up by Roman was...

It was everything.

Everything I had ever dreamed of. 

It felt good, it felt right-- I moaned, clenching at the feeling of his cock slowly sinking into me at a steady pace, my body aching with love. This was as gentle as I bet anything like this could possibly be, and I squirmed a bit beneath him, adjusting to the feeling of having his cock inside of me. 

Roman let out a shaky breath, containing the urge to pound into my warmth like I supposed he usually would. "Hurts?"

"No, no-- Ah," 

With his next thrust, Roman kissed up my jaw, keeping every stroke careful. "Want me to put it in all the way?"

"The-- There is more?"

"Baby..." he breathed, containing a choked laugh. "I'm only halfway in."

I was sure I was about to faint. How the fuck?-- No, I couldn't think clearly in this state. No more thinking. I decided to trust him; I knew Roman would pull back if it hurt, anyway. "Okay... Let's try,"

As Roman pushed in more of his length, the quiet moan escaping him blended in with my string of panicked whimpers. I didn't even know I had space inside me for more-- my eyes sprung open, my legs giving into a tremble. "Rome, I-- a-ah, this is--"

"Shh, look at me, breathe," Roman brought his hand to my face, guiding me to look into his eyes. His voice was soft, caring; "You okay? Is this too much?"

The shock was the thing that had gotten to me, I was sure of it. Because after a few more deep strokes, a few tighter circles around my clit, my fear eased as I realized this was a sensation I would be chasing for the rest of my life.

"Feels good?" Roman asked, his voice nearly breaking-- I imagined it was hard to not give in to the pleasure of the tight embrace around his cock.

Still, I could only nod, twisting my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him towards me to smother him with a heated rush of my lips against his, moaning into the kiss as I pulled my hand from between my legs-- it was starting to brink the line of overstimulation. 

"Good," Roman muttered against my mouth. 

The kiss didn't last too long; my shock was still coming and going in waves. "I'm-- we're having sex," I blurted out, my cheeks flaring red. The truth was hitting me like a blow to the head. The thing I had dreamed about since the first day I laid eyes on him was actually happening.

Roman contained a laugh, looking rather endeared by my realization; "Yeah, you're doing it, you're having sex... I'd give you a high five, but-- hah, that wouldn't work,"

Why were we laughing? Why was this... fun?

Caught between the fire in my chest, the twinge of humor, and the ache pulsing low between my legs, I whimpered as I realized I wanted-- no, needed more. Still, a small, meek call of his name was all I managed to stutter out.

Roman shifted, pushing my body so that my knees were bent at his sides; "Speak your mind," 

How was I supposed to conjure a cohesive sentence in this state? "I want-- you, more--"

"We're going-- hah, back to that?" 

"Not that! More, Rome-- just, more, I need--"

He let out a breathy moan, smiling back down at me; he knew exactly what I meant. "Thank God," Roman's cock filled me over and over, his thrusts growing harder, faster as he found a steady pace to rock into me. "You're taking me so good, aren't you?"

My head felt like it was spinning. This couldn't be real. I couldn't possibly be as lucky as to finally sleep with Roman Godfrey. 

His voice brought me back; "You're doing so well," he murmured, burying his face into the crook of my neck, muffling a quiet moan against my skin. It was the most magical of sounds-- my heart was threatening to beat out of my chest, and I was sure the warmth of skin against mine probably helped with the overheating of my brain. "Doing so, so well for me... I've wanted you like this for so long."

"Me too," I breathed, my hips keening to take his thrusts. "Wanted you-- since forever."

My words only seemed to reel him on; Roman hips snapped harder into me as I whimpered. "Forever?" 

"Forever-- a-ah,"

Something in Roman's breathing changed. It was almost as though I could read his thoughts, feel his new reality form. Was it maybe the last push he needed to believe I was his till death? That there was a person out there walking this earth, breathing the same air, that could possibly want to be with him for an eternity? "Forever," he breathed, latching onto my neck with repeated needy kisses in an attempt to drown out the noises threatening to spill past his lips. "You and-- and I, forever."

As Roman's cock repeatedly pushed into me, I could only whimper; the stretch was still something to get used to, and my nails bit into his back as I tried to steady myself. "Forever," I managed to breathe out, hearing him moan into my neck at the sharpness of my nails against his back-- I knew he'd like that. I knew Roman too damn well. 

"Forever," he echoed, breath washing warm against my ear as he raised himself, his cheek nuzzling mine in an intimate embrace. 

I clenched around the girth of his cock, shivering. This was so unbelievably sweet, nothing I had ever expected from him. Roman was so much taller, and his broad build served as a comforting weight through the wave of new pleasure my body tried to comprehend. With the next surge of love washing over my chest, the next pump of Roman's cock, I felt my chin give in to an involuntary quiver as I gripped him tighter. 

It was at this moment that it truly dawned on me;

I loved him. 

I loved Roman Godfrey.

Tears swarmed my eyes as one of my hands went up into his soft hair, hoping he'd take it as an urging for him to kiss me again. I didn't want to have a chance to talk, to blurt it out and scare him away-- which is why, when Roman shifted and crashed his lips against mine, I only felt relief. 

I was safe. I was cared for. And damn, I felt good. 

However, what I hadn't expected, was for the shift of angle to brush past a spot inside of me I had only ever felt when Roman's fingers curled into me. But this was far greater, far more stimulating-- I let out a choked moan against Roman's lips, my eyes springing open as my head tilted back into the duvet, heaving for air as my legs gave in to a tremble. 

I didn't have to look up at him to know the exact look on his face, yet I dared to take a peek; he was too hot to resist. And there it was, those parted, perfect lips paired with that dark look in his green eyes of victory. This is exactly what he had wanted to reduce me to all along, wasn't it? Roman's hair had never been this messed up (courtesy of my hands), and the sheer look of it nearly made my heart swell. "Good tears?" he asked with a whisper, scanning the look in my eyes.

Fuck, yeah. I could only nod. 

Knowing Roman, I was wondering when he'd-- oh, hello, you. I was waiting for the eventual switch. A man like Roman Godfrey couldn't stay sweet forever. 

At the sight of my tears, I knew something new in him ignited. He placed a hand over my mouth, placing more of his weight on me as his other hand pulled me tighter against him, the wet snaps of his cock pushing into me growing louder as I moaned out against his palm. "Listen to this," he purred, a sinister smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he made me listen to the sound of our union. "This is sex, you're damn right. This is what you'll be craving from me." 

God-- I squeezed my eyes shut, the continuous push of the tip of Roman's cock against my sweet spot inside sending my brain into a frenzy. 

"I get why you've been reserved... You'll never be who you were before this again," With a grunt, the next snap of his hips only grew harder, knowing I could take it and adjust. It certainly didn't help the tremble of my body. "Gonna get you fucking addicted to this feeling. To me. Cause you've given yourself to me now, do you-- do you realize that?"

My wet lashes fluttered as I slowly dared to open my eyes, my heart thumping harder than ever before. If only he knew how addicted I already was. 

"This is it," Roman breathed, the green hues of his gaze engulfing me; "This is us. This is you. This is who you are from now on. My girl... Only mine. Forever. Gonna help you cum on this cock, okay? Gonna give you the first time you deserve, h-hah--"

Something about the look in his eyes unnerved me, despite the hot nature of his words-- What? There were many ways for him to make me cum, surely, but the second my fingers started numbing up, my mind started flaring red with a passage from my most hated book;

The upir's ability to mesmerize is an ancient and powerful form of psychic influence, capable of bending a victim's will. This control often manifests subtly, with suggestions that feel like one's own thoughts. If one is being mesmerized by a upir, it is often accompanied by a stilling of one's inner monologue, or a numbing sensation. Prolonged exposure can lead to disorientation, memory lapses, and a gradual erosion of autonomy. The key to resisting lies in anchoring oneself to reality—through pain, strong emotions, or focusing on a meaningful object. Beware: once under an upir's thrall, distinguishing truth from illusion becomes a perilous challenge.

Beware. 

Beware.

The last time my fingers had numbed up like this, was the time Roman forced me to tell him what had happened between Jasmine and I. It felt like the autonomy of my thoughts evaporated, seeped out of my ears, and disappeared into Roman's grasp. 

However, at this moment right now, this moment of blinding pleasure and complete rapture of my soul and love, I wanted nothing more but this. I knew I wasn't being mesmerized of course, because upirs weren't real-- but as Roman kept my face still and my eyes on him, it felt like it. It was almost like I heard him telling me to cum. A few more thrusts were all it took, the complete transfixion of Roman's unnaturally dilated pupils swallowing me as I only saw green, green, green-- his hand quickly left my mouth to hear me cry out, a choked moan escaping me as the fear toppled me. This was an orgasm unlike anything else I had experienced, and I felt myself pulse around Roman's length, practically milking his cock as I struggled to grapple with the most intense climax of my life. "Fuck-- Fuck!" I whimpered, my nails digging further into his back as tears welled in my eyes. 

The mere sight of it was enough for Roman to nearly buckle over, and I was ripped out of the trance, heaving for air as he spilled into the condom, teeth grazing my shoulder as he tried to bite back his moans of pleasure, hips keening into my tight warmth. 

I slowly slid my hands off Roman's broad back, realizing we had both dripped sweat onto each other's skin as I hoped my breath would soon go back to normal. My body ached in a way it had never ached before, and I winced as Roman eventually pulled out of me with a sigh. 

There was a long moment after he rolled off of me where we simply gazed at each other. I watched the heave of his chest, the way his brown hair laid over his dangerous green eyes, and wondered how on earth I had been so lucky as to have him fall for me too.

However, suddenly, amid my awe, a small droplet of blood gathered at Roman's nose. To my surprise, he was completely unbothered. The look in his eyes told me he had an inkling this would happen, and it further confused me.

I leaned forward to wipe away the blood pooling at his upper lip with my thumb. "You're bleeding," I echoed, aware that I was stating the obvious.

Roman's eyes softened; "Are you, though?"

"... What do you mean?"

Shifting, he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer as his other hand slid between my legs, sliding a finger against the wetness of my sex as I squirmed, a short giggle escaping me as I nuzzled up against him. Roman then scanned his finger as I continued to wipe away the stream of blood coming from his nose, watching as it smeared against his cheek. He hummed; "You didn't bleed. At least that's good?"

"I guess?"

Roman kissed my bloodied thumb, a shaky breath escaping him at the taste of the iron; "How was that for you? You okay?"

If only he knew. "You were great," I purred, nipping at his jaw. "It was lovely, Rome."

He let out a breath; "Thank fuck," Roman murmured, visibly relieved. "And you were really damn sweet. I knew those fuck-me eyes would be the death of me... Sorry if it got a little intense at the end, there."

"No, no, that was-- fuck, that was so hot,"

Roman smiled. My sweet boy. Another kiss; "But now, there's one thing I wanted to do." He propped himself up on his elbow, and I closed my eyes as he made sure I laid with my back against the bed-- I was too tired to focus. The ache between my legs refused to subside, making me worried about the state of my thighs tomorrow. They better not fucking cramp up with every step, similar to the day after a hard session at the gym.

And just as I was about to ask him to return to me, to stop doing whatever the fuck he was doing, I suddenly felt a warm, slick substance drip onto my lower abdomen. With a gasp, I snapped out of my drowsiness, only to be met with the sight of Roman holding the condom above my stomach with a devilish grin, letting the content pour down on me.

He chuckled at the sight of my widened eyes, my speechless state-- "Didn't manage to cum here, as I said... so this will do,"

"Roman, for fuck's sake!" 

"What? You look good with my cum all over!--"

"Roman!"

"Fine!" he huffed. "Gonna go grab some wipes, I'll be right back. Anything else you need? Water?"

I wondered whether Roman realized how sweet he was being-- I glanced over at the candle flickering in the moonlight, the vial of my blood lying neatly next to it. The sight made my heart swell; God, how I loved him. It killed me that he couldn't know. I knew he'd run in the other direction if he did. "Water would be nice," I breathed, watching as Roman got dressed again. 

It all hit me like a wave, now;

The first time I got my heart broken, I had been at fault. 

The first time I got a black eye, I had swung the first punch.

But the first time I had sex? It had thankfully been with the man I loved. Still, I was sure the cosmic imbalance would catch up to me again and drag me back down into the dirt soon enough. 

But not right now.

Not right now.

Here, I was safe with Roman. The universe couldn't get me now, no-- not with the equivalent of the moon lying next to me. He had returned to me in no time, holding me close in his nearly immediate slumber after having lent me a shirt of his to sleep in. The cosmos wouldn't dare to touch me now. 

I adjusted the cover on top of us, kissing Roman's forehead; "Are you sleeping?" I whispered, poking his cheek with the gentlest of touches. 

No response. Phew. 

And just as I started to fade into sleep as well, I ran my thumb across the softness of his cheek. I connected our foreheads with a content sigh before I pressed my lips against his in a loving kiss. Roman looked so peaceful-- the universe wouldn't dare to take me now, wouldn't dare to wake him up. 

"I love you," I whispered like I would be put to death if I awoke him. With one last glance at the candle, my heavy lids fluttered as my heart cried;

"I love you,"

(a/n: thank you SO MUCH for reading this monster of a chapter!!<33 if you've made it all the way down here, here are all the other chapters if you're interested!!<33 MWAH)

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10

tagging those that seemed interested!!<333

@mentallyscreamingsincebirth @putherup @corawithfanfiction @vladsgirlxx

@iamaslytherin0 @sexualparkour @the-universe-is-complicated @heavenly-bratt

@lafemme-nk @namiusedbubble @useyourwandbro @strmborns @literally-lani

@virgosapphire79 @star-girl-04 @veyzus @ddipotassium @pecxiebu

@mil88691 @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @katifefe @sn0wybowie-blog

@lilithskywalker @likecherriesinthespring @sadheartjellyfish @vadersangel

@shehangsbrightly @burningmiraclekingdom @dollforaswan @austinswhitewolf

@nico-velvet @shiiiii-okayyyy

[libraincarnate]

🦋 astrology notes: 14 🦋

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some of my observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!

ꕤ venus-mars aspects: people with this aspect may feel good/beautiful when moving their body. they could really enjoy sex, stretching, exercising, playing sports, dancing, etc. could be into getting massages, doing their skin/hair care routine, eating healthy & more cause overall, they’re taking care of their body/themselves and they’re into that. there’s a desire to connect with their body and actually listen to what it wants and/or needs. they want to feel good and look good & they probably have a nice body too.

ꕤ neptune-uranus aspects: can indicate a wild sleeper. the type to shift the blankets from one end of the bed to the other, waking up with their pillow in weird positions or they themselves are hanging off the side of the bed. could accidentally hit people while they’re asleep if they share a bed with someone. may have strange dreams, possibly spiritual/prophetic ones too.

ꕤ libra venus: they want an equal relationship with equal effort. if they have kids with someone, they expect that person to be as involved as they are when it comes to parenting. it's a partnership so no one should be doing more than the other, it should be *balanced*. they absolutely know how to make a person feel loved, adored, and appreciated. they can be quite lovey-dovey & they also want to be doted on too. they want someone who makes them feel comfortable enough to not have to look or act perfect all the time. they want their partner to see their beauty on the outside & the inside too. even if it's not fun to admit, they know they’re not truly perfect and they want someone who will accept the parts of them that aren’t beautiful, the parts they're insecure of. yes they love compliments but genuine ones from their lover that aren’t always about their appearance are meaningful and cherished.

these people are so caring. this is a sweetheart placement. with that being said they expect their partner to be nice to them 98% of the time. this doesn’t mean you can’t tease them or make jokes, but just don’t overdo it or be rude. so this doesn’t necessarily mean that they want an extremely nice or gentle bf/gf, but rather someone who’s never truly mean to them and shows them the same amount of love, respct, & consideration.

ꕤ virgo lilith/rising/venus & lilith in the 2nd house: may feel ugly or uncomfortable wearing heavy makeup. they’re so used to being natural that they feel as if they look too different wearing lots of makeup or even a little. could feel as though it emphasizes their features in a way that they don’t like because it comes off too strong. they’re just used to & prefer that natural look, but they may prefer light/subtle makeup, like that “no makeup” makeup look.

ꕤ if you feel like you don’t relate to certain placements in your natal chart, check the persona chart of that planet and look for that same planet within that persona chart. you may find that you can relate to it a bit more or it can reveal something else about that part of you/your life, maybe help you connect the dots.

for example, if you feel like your venus placement in your natal chart doesn’t really apply to you, check your venus placement in your venus persona chart. or if it’s your moon then look for the placement of the moon in your moon persona chart.

ꕤ the placement of sagittarius in your chart can show you where you might be afraid to commit: 

in the 4th house - could be afraid to start a family of your own because of how much your children/family would depend on you and because of how much you’d be responsible for another person.

in the 7th house - could be afraid to commit to long term relationships that may lead to marriage because you view it as something spiritually and/or legally binding (to an extent), and the idea of that sounds restrictive or "too permanent" & daunting, even if you're in love, so you may self-sabotage. your lack of commitment here might also be because you don't feel comfortable trusting others/being vulnerable. plus, sag is an honest sign that cares about integrity so if they make a vow they won't want to dishonor it. but then there's the possibilty/fear of being trapped in a miserable or lifeless marriage, or being unable to leave without conflict or upsetting consequences.

in the 6th house - could run from your daily responsibilities/routine if it lacks variety. can be afraid to commit to jobs that may have the potential to become mundane & monotonous, jobs that don't have many opportunities or room for growth and advancement.

ꕤ saturn in the 9th house: may not enjoy going to church, if you we’re born into a religious family this could have been an issue for you, perhaps you have a religious father that is strict and religion may have been a persistent theme that brought about conflict.

ꕤ aries moon: when they’re pissed off you’ll know because they’ll express it verbally and/or physically (this doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll put their hands on you). out of all the different emotions, they probably feel anger the strongest. they’re not the type to hide their emotions like capricorn moons and that’s probably because they usually can’t no matter how much they want to or try to.  

they are direct & unafraid of confrontation, but if they tell you that you hurt them then they care about you because that’s not something they’ll easily and openly admit. they’re loyal so they take it to heart when someone they love/trust wrongs them. if that person doesn’t have a good reason then they’re most likely cut off because aries now sees them as disloyal & untrustworthy.

aries likes to be in control, but with the moon here they can struggle to have control over their emotions because they feel things so forecully, not being in control only makes them more irritated, and they can be quite irritable. 

ꕤ sun in the 7th house (synastry): it can create such a strong bond that it feels like they are your soulmate. it could be hard to separate from each other because it feels like you guys are meant to be. they’re someone you want to share your life with. life is better with them. things can feel gloomy when there are problems between you two or when they’re not around & so this can also be a clingy placement. but that’s probably because they make you feel warm, safe, and overall they’re just one of your favorite people. 

ꕤ leo mercury / leo in the 3rd house: they’re quite descriptive & they incorporate lots of figurative language in their everyday speech whether it be personification, exaggeration, or similes/metaphors. with that being said they can be funny and make good story tellers. they draw people in with the way they speak and keep them interested. could be good at voice acting and imitating the voice of another such as singers or actors. these individuals have some bright ideas & they could probably write great books too.

ꕤ lilith in the 6th house: i’ve mentioned that taurus in the 6th house can have messy traits but lilith in the 6th house takes the cake imo. like they can be straight up dirty, sorry not sorry. the types to not clean up after themselves. they’re not afraid to get their hands dirty and i mean that literally. like no gloves needed ever lol & then they’ll “clean” their hands by running it under water for 2 seconds. also the types to not follow the rules or the steps of doing something. they do things their way or in a way that’s uncommon/different but they can also remain calm and focused in chaotic & unorganized environments.

ꕤ sun in the 4th: these people would make really good house wives or stay at home moms. they’re just good at being domestic and naturally good at running a household. they’re the glue to the family. i know the 4th house isn’t related to marriage/romantic relationships but to me, women with this placement exude the traits of the perfect/noble wife described in Proverbs 31:10-31. 

or if a guy has a capricorn sun here for example, he may be an absolute family man. someone reliable and a true provider who is dedicated, involved, and loyal to his family.

overall these people can be very family-oriented.

ꕤ chiron in the 5th house: you have a bold/bright personality that makes you stand out. when you’re expressing yourself or simply being yourself, you might get negative reactions and unkind comments from others which causes you to shrink back and hide that awesome personality of yours. you feel insecure about being yourself & so you may also have self-esteem issues. but that confidence is definitely within you, it's innate.

those reactions/comments probably come from people who are unhappy, not comfortable with themselves, or they're jealous & they wish could get the attention that you receive without trying. but that’s not your fault so keep being you!

these natives could also be the type to come off as quiet/shy but they aren’t. they’re actually fun, creative, talented, and a joy to be around, but they struggle to see that for themselves. 

ꕤ gemini or pisces rising / in the 1st house - especially if you also have a gemini/pisces moon or your chart ruler (mercury/neptune) is in the 5th house of fun, games/toys, & creativity:

* this is so long i'm so sorry *

i feel like these natives had lots of dolls, toys, and/or stuffed animals growing up. they probably always had at least one throughout their life and they still do even if they’re now older, mature, or no longer play with them because gem and pisces both have this playful, fun, & childlike energy.

the rising & 1st house is heavily focused on how you project/express yourself and who you are, both your inner & outer self. so regardless of age or maturity, these traits typically remain present in gem/pisces because it’s just a big part of their identity. & the moon is how we experience, process, and express our emotions. so for some, it becomes less of a toy and more of a sentimental item, something they’re emotionally attached to.

with gemini & pisces, it’s like they are here but they’re not lol they’re physically present but mentally elsewhere in some other world of their own. they’re the types to entertain themselves in their minds.

gem is ruled by mercury so they’re always in their head talking to themselves, thinking of anything & everything whether it be funny, brilliant, bizarre, or ingenious. they get lost in their thoughts. but we do the same with toys, we talk to them as if they were real or could respond, we create these conversations and social interactions, we give them a voice, “making” them say the most silly, funny, and crazy things. 

pisces is ruled by neptune and so they’re creative and always in their head day dreaming of different scenarios, people/characters, and possibilities. they get lost in their imagination. and with toys, we become both actors & directors, assigning different roles/characters to different dolls and stuffed animals, but also to ourselves. we set the scene, dress them up, do their makeup, and “make” them act out whatever we imagine. 

& when you think about dolls/toys/stuffed animals and the way that they’re typically played with, you think of personification or a sense of bringing to life/animation, imagination, children, entertainment, pretending, creativity, etc. plus, the whole concept is kind of bizarre if you think about it lol

this made me look up barbie’s chart because she’s one of the most popular dolls/toys and it’s so funny how she’s a gemini rising & pisces sun/moon.

if you read this until the end, i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.

[pit-and-the-pen]

Azriel NSFW alphabet

Literally just Azriel brain rot. Buckle in

NSFW below the cut (18+ minors don’t interact)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I’m a firm believer that this man is the biggest cuddler after sex. He will fully wrap you in his arms and wings and just hold you close to him. He’ll give you sweet kisses on your forehead and the top of your head, humming as he does.

If anything is particularly rough (Which I am a firm believer in dom Azriel) he’ll draw you a bath and smooth out any sore muscles with his hands.

Basically this dude knows what it’s like to be left alone and would rather die than make you feel like that after being intimate

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On him, like any good Iilyrian baby, it’s his wings. Besides the normal ego the wings normally come with, he’s able to look at them and see all the good they’ve done. Proof of how far he’s come in life. He’d learn how to fly, become one of the top Iilyrian warriors and had an amazing family. Looking at his wings, the same wings he shares with his brothers, he can’t help but feel his pride stir.

On you, everyone always goes back and forth on boobs or ass but are missing the best option. Thighs. Azriel adores your thighs. Something about the soft feeling of them under his hands instantly comforts him. And not only in a sexual way (although he has pushed your thighs tighter around his head on multiple occasions) but comforting like a cat kneading on a blanket. He loves using them as a pillow, you playing with his hair as you talk about your different days or you both reading a book. He loves your thighs no matter the size, the stretch marks, he loves every inch of them

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I feel like all the fae males cum a ton. Probably left over from centuries of breeding being the most important thing, but Azriel takes the cake. For sake of not having to find something to clean up the sheer amount, he’s almost always coming inside of you. And even then it’s still enough that it runs out of you, something that normally is enough to make you both want round two.

I also feel like if he’s in one of his more dominant moods that once he does cum inside you he’ll use his finger to push it back in, mouth parted as he sees just the sheer amount that pools onto the sheets

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I feel like you and Azriel would be pretty open with each other. He doesn’t want to hide things from you and he wouldn’t want you too either

That being said, I do think he likes you being dominant more than he would ever let you know. The way the tone of your voice drops slightly, the way you tease him is enough to drive him crazy. You always seem to know when he needs it too. There's not one particular thing he could point out to say he loved but you doming him is something he enjoys a lot when it happens.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

This man is quiet but that doesn’t mean that he hasn’t had plenty of experience. I mean, look at this man. Tell me you wouldn’t have to fight off both males and females when the mating bond first snapped. This man fully knows what he’s doing and I firmly believe his spymaster skills make him perfect at learning exactly what you need to make you into a complete whining mess.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves when you ride him. Something about feeling your thighs spread out on top of him and having full access to your chest and throat just does something for him.

I also live and die by Azriel having a breeding kink so I think he would love having you in a mating press. Your legs perched up on his shoulders as he presses so deep into you you can’t do anything but scream his name. He would still be free to pepper kisses all over your neck and face and he can feel how deep his cum is pumped into you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

He is pretty serious overall. It’s that dom persona but sometimes when you try a new position or play and something twists the way it's not supposed to or your bodies just make the noises bodies do, you’re both laughing and giggling. On slower nights you two can make jokes but overall it’s pretty serious because the love you two have for each other runs so deeply.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think he keeps it trimmed. He defo has a happy trail that you love to kiss down. But he doesn’t really care about what’s going on down there, especially when it comes to you. As long as he can get between your legs, he doesn’t care how much or how little hair you have. And I think his hair is a little lighter but not by much.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Azriel can be tooth rotting sweet when he wants to be. I’m talking rose petals and candles, full body massage. He would pull out all the stops when it comes to spoiling you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he’s away on missions he would try. Some errant thought of you would cross his mind and since he has a hard time sleeping on missions, he would try to rub one out but it never feels the same so he doesn’t really bother with it. He has you and you’re more than happy to help him whenever he has one of his random moments of need rushing through him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Restrains- He loves holding your wrists down, whether it’s with his own hands wrapped around your wrists pinned above you heads, or his shadows holding down all of your limbs as he absolutely worships your body, something about seeing you desperately trying to reach out and touch him makes him go feral.

Wing Play- At first you both were very tentative for you to touch his wings. He’s so proud of them and despite the fact that you’re mates, it felt too intimate. But after much begging on his part, you finally did and gods. His usual perfect timing was fully broken the first time. He came in his pants like a teenager and spent the rest of the night absolutely worshiping you. From then on, if you ever wanted to have him on his knees, you would just run a nail softly along the membranes and he would be a whimpering mess for you.

Brat Tamer- This male would love it when you talk back to him. The way you would puff up your chest, staring up at him trying your best to be intimidating. He would just coo at you and whisper something about keeping up that attitude later in the bedroom. And of course the moment the door closed to your shared bedroom, you would be apologizing for your words. Maybe if he’s feeling nice, he’ll let you off but if he’s not. You would definitely be limping around the next day.

Breeding kink- He would love to fill you up. As much as he adores seeing his cum on various parts of your body. Theres nothing he loves more than seeing it drip out of you, fucking it back into you with his fingers or his tongue.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He prefers your bedroom truthfully. The two of you have made it so comfortable, bits and pieces of the both of you filled the space. The way your smell mixed with his lingers around puts him instantly at ease.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

For real, you could just look at this man and he would be hard as a rock. Seeing you sparing with Cassian would also be a sure fire way to get him going. Or if you are trying to get him really riled up, placing your hand on someones arm as you’re talking to them would have him literally picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder to remind you exactly who you belong to.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No temperature play of any kind, no ice or fire. Fire/wax for obvious reasons but cold/ ice because it reminds him of the winters at the war camp and those memories are not something he wants to imagine when he’s having sex.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

This man will eat you out like he has been stranded in the desert for a hundred years. He cannot get enough of you. He’ll hold down your hips, shadows holding your arms down. Absolute filthy noises would be spilling out of his mouth as he lapped you up. You would literally have to pull him away by his hair and his face would be covered in your arousal. He could go down on you for hours if you would let him and he would still probably whine as you pulled him away.

That being said, this man does love a good blow job. I think he would have two moods. One where he’s just letting you explore, tongue lapping at him and he’d let you set your own pace. Just taking everything you would give him. Now. On nights where you have done nothing but tease him. Strap in because this man will (consensually) push you down to your knees with your hands tied behind you back and use your throat like it was a damn fleshlight. He would keep going until spit was trailing down your chin, eyes glassy with tears. When he finally did cum he would make you hold it on your tongue before telling you to swallow, sticking out your tongue afterwards to show him that you were a good girl and listened to him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

This man is the best of both worlds. Depending on both of your moods it can be soft and slow or wall shakingly rough. Sometimes he’ll being going slow and you’ll push his hips to make him pound into you and the little bit of control he’ll have snaps and before you know it, he’s flipping you over and fucking you hard enough to have you seeing stars. But on nights when both of you need to show your love to each other, he’s simply just grinding into you. Hitting that perfect spot inside of you and I love you’s are spilling past both of your lips unhurried.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s not totally against them. When the mating bond first snapped all you had to do was look at him the right way and he was taking you against the nearest surface. More than once during trips to the court of nightmares you two were found tucked away into corners, both in various states of undress. His shadows were particularly helpful during these moments because he could wrap you in them and make sure no one saw that the front of your dress was pulled down or how your skirt was hiked up to your waist. But for the most part, he likes taking his time with you. He wants the time to take you apart piece by piece and have you screaming and shaking beneath him.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

SJM told us this man was a freak and I firmly believe it. There’s very few things that he isn’t willing to try at least once. If he thinks it will make you happy then he’s game.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This man could go all night if you would let him. Your stamina would give out long before he would. And he’s almost always making sure that you get off at least once but we all know there would be many many more before he would even think about his own release.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I have no idea what toys exist in this world but lets pretend the ones that exist in Crescent City are available. I think he would for sure have a vibrator. More than once he has had you tied up in your bed, vibrator strapped to your thigh and just stood at the other end of the room. You would be half delirious with the amount of orgasms the toy had pulled from you before he turned it off with a smirk at how totally fucked out you were.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

This man is the biggest tease. He knows how much you love his muscles so he would just walk around the house shirtless. Commenting on how your eyes followed him like he was a snack you wanted to devour. He would tease you for that glazed look in your eyes and how your pupils would dilate. If anyone was ever around when this happened you would blush as he slowly raised a hand to shut your slightly open jaw. Laughing softly as everyone else started to slowly leave the room because they knew what was about to happen.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Listen. For how quiet this man is around the inner circle, he would be moaning and panting into your ear. His dirty talk alone is enough to reduce you to a shaking mess. But when he’s pounding into you he’ll be cursing and roaring against you. More than once you’ve had someone pounding on the door because of how loud the two of you were being. He would only make it a point to be even louder when that did happen and when the two of you finally crawled out of your bedroom, the house would be empty.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Azriel was terrified the first time you two had sex. It’s no secret that he’s insecure when it comes to his hands and he was afraid that you would be wary to have him finger you but that fear was quickly dismissed when you begged for his fingers. Now whenever he seems to get too far into his head, all you have to do is slip one of his giant fingers into your mouth and he would snap out whatever funk he was in and he would go absolutely feral. You made the mistake of doing it at dinner with the rest of the inner circle once and everyone just stared at you two with wide eyes as Azriel just sat back further into his chair, legs spreading as he smirked with pure male satisfaction.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Our shadowslinger is hung. I think he’s at least 8 inches but he’s also thick. Like if you wrap your hand around him, your fingers just barely touch. The illyrian joke about wings is definitely true and he’s the biggest of the three males. The rest of the girls nearly fell out of their chairs when they held their hands out trying to get you to spill just how big he was. All three sisters and Mor are just sitting there like 🫸 🫷“What do you mean , keep going??? Girl are you okay???”

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Mother. This man’s sex drive is ridiculous. Despite having many partners over the years, there was a lot of time between then and he never let them be truly intimate, opting for quick fucks that were satisfying on the surface level for sure but he desperately yearned for real intimacy. So once he found you he couldn’t get enough of you and you him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’ll always wait for you to fall asleep. And you normally fall asleep pretty quickly after he’s rung orgasm after orgasm out of you. Some nights we would just stare at you as you slept soundly besides him, wondering how he got so lucky to have you next to him.

[wildemaven]

confessions | tim rockford

pairing: tim rockford x f!reader word count: 1349 warnings: 18+ blog; beer consumption, Tim is older than reader but no age given (not more than 10+ years), fluff, pining, secret crushes, kissing, fluff, one mention of calling Tim ‘old’ in a playful manner, (none of these pictures dictate the appearance of reader, this is all purely for vibes and up for your own interpretation) notes: this is my first Tim fic and I’m so excited to be apart of the Summer Lovin’ challenge out on by @pedgito @chaotic-mystery @amanitacowboy Big shout out to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for giving it a once over for me!! I appreciate you!!

“Thanks again for coming.” You lean over and say before hiding behind the sip from your plastic cup of ice cold beer. 

“Of course. It’s a bummer your date couldn’t make it.” Tim says now leaning slightly over in your direction so you can hear him. 

The music isn’t loud. More of a steady hum as a slower ballad is played on stage. Low enough that you can carry on an easy conversation without shouting over blasting speakers. 

“Yeah. Definitely a bummer he couldn’t make it. I don’t think I’d be having as much fun as I am if I was alone— so thank you.” You almost feel bad about lying. Your date that canceled on you last minute for this very concert you’re attending right now with your partner instead. 

Expect Tim doesn’t know that there never was a date prior to him accepting your last minute invitation to be your plus one. His detective skills certainly are not keen on the slight crush you've had for the man for some time now. 

“You don’t have to keep thanking me. I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to be here. It’s kind of a bonus that they’re one of my favorite bands. Missed out on getting tickets. So I should be thanking you.” Tim bumps your arm playfully with his elbow before directing his attention back to the stage where the lead singer is ripping on his shiny black electric guitar. 

“Oh! I didn’t realize that when I asked you. I’m so glad it worked out like this.” Another lie. 

You knew it was one of Tim’s favorite bands. Overheard him one morning in the break room talking about this upcoming tour and how it’s been a dream of his to see them live. The only problem was this exact venue had sold out before he had gotten a chance to even attempt to get tickets. 

It pays to know people. Especially the kind of people who owe you favors. You had immediately called in the favor and you were able to secure two tickets that were relatively close to the stage without any issues. 

Tim Rockford has been your partner at the police department for the last three years. The crush you’ve been quietly harboring for him has been alive for nearly the same amount of time. 

You tried to not feel guilty while flat out lying to him about the whole thing. Especially right now with how much he is enjoying himself. His head bobbing in time with the beat. The words so effortlessly fall  from his mouth as he sings along to each song. 

As the song plays on, you don’t see the way Tim is admiring you thoroughly enjoying the music. Your arms high in the air, falling into a rhythmic wave that mirrors the other concert goers. What surprises him most, and finds almost angelic, is the way you sing word for word without missing a beat, making him even more grateful you asked him to come now, so he could witness such a sight. 

“I’m surprised you know all the words.” He says with a grin that makes your stomach swoop instantly. 

“Of course I do. It’s a good song.” You’d only discovered it when you began your rigorous studying of the band’s entire discography after securing the tickets. But Tim doesn’t need to know that— yet. “They’re a great band for being around for so long.” 

He shoots you a pained look.

“A great band for being around for so long? Sweetheart, I was listening to them in high school. You calling me old?” He turns fully to you in the small row where your seats have been abandoned for the better part of the show. His signature Detective Rockford stance, hip cocked out and hand secure at his waist band, is way less intimidating when he’s dressed in his off duty casual clothes and unarmed. 

“Well, not as old as my dad…” Technically, Tim isn’t not much older than you, but the years between you were enough for there to be a difference in tastes of music. You shrug your shoulders at him, not sure if he’s picking up the flirty tone you’ve adopted in the last few minutes. “But if the shoe fits, I guess.” 

“I’m hurt— wounded.” Tim grabs at the front of his shirt, the fabric bunching under his grip. 

“What was that?” You cup your hand over your ear and lean back into him. “I can’t hear you over your knees popping every time you stand up.” 

His smile drops and it has you feeling like you might have crossed a line that has blown any chance of ever being something more serious with Tim. 

“Tim— I was totally kidding. I’m so sor—“ Tim cuts you off before you can properly apologize to him. 

Tim’s lips are softer than you had imagined them being, slotted perfectly over yours. The music playing is no longer the main event for you, fading into the background as Tim conveys to you his own undisclosed feelings for you through the kiss. It’s a moment that feels straight out of one of your favorite rom-com movies. 

“I hope I haven’t been reading this whole thing wrong and I didn’t just make an ass out of myself by shutting up that pretty mouth of yours.” Tim’s musky cologne mixes with the beer he’d been savoring as his words fan across your face at such a close proximity. 

“No. You definitely didn’t— to both things.” A cool breeze sweeps through, alleviating the warmth that’s settled on your skin. “I have a confession to make.” 

“What’s that?” His thumb grazes over the apple of your cheek. It’s gentle effort helps ease all of your shot nerves. 

“There was no date. I got the tickets and planned to ask you. I didn’t want to sound desperate or weird, so I made it seem like I was going with someone else and that they canceled at the last minute.” 

“Oh— well I guess I should confess something to you then.” There’s a small hint of relief that you detect in his voice at your confession, you wouldn’t be one of the best detectives in your department to let that tell slide by unseen. “I was jealous of your non-existent date.” 

“Really?!” 

A light fluttering sensation swirls through you. Sincerity etched in the flecks of the warm brown eyes staring back at you. 

“Yeah. Heard you talking about it with everyone at work. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a small part of me that had wished it was me going with you.” 

“You’re only saying that because it’s your favorite band playing right now.” 

You amusingly roll your eyes and push at his solid unmoving arm, but he catches your wrist before you can pull away. 

“Nah, I would have been jealous even if it was that Bieber kid.” Tim maneuvers his hand around yours, interlocking your fingers together. 

“Good to know, Rockford. I'll remember that for next time.” 

The chords of a new song fill the air. A vivacious energy spreads through the crowd like a wildfire. It’s not enough to break the small bubble Tim and you are currently existing in. 

“Next time? So what does that mean for us then, Sweetheart?” His brows knit together. He’s hopeful at the prospect of a next time, but doesn’t want to be too expectant and scare you away before he even has a chance to have you. 

“I don’t know. Let’s listen to the rest of this concert. Then afterwards you can take me to that old diner you love over on Pine Street. Order some food and we can talk until they threaten to kick us out.”

“If I’m not mistaken, that kind of sounds like the perfect first date.” He delivers another weak-in-the-knee inducing smile and you can’t help but mirror it with a little wink. 

“Way to use those detective skills.” 

It’s your turn to kiss him. It doesn’t linger as long as you’d like, but the night is still young. 

[seeingivy]

sharing

ryomen sukuna x f!reader

**part of my best friend's older brother fic

previous part linked here

--

things change slightly in the weeks that follow. 

according to your mom, who called you very upset on a tuesday afternoon, your dad had apparently decided to stay in town until the end of the month – and on very strict orders from sukuna and possibly any shred of self-preservation that you had in you – you weren’t going to be going back until he was gone for good. 

messages from sammy were few and infrequent, except for whenever she got drunk – something she very clearly got from your mom. always the same message, deeply apologetic and regretful, and it somehow was very slowly melting whatever it was that happened at the funeral. 

or it was just one of those things. 

she was your sister – she was blunt, a little harsh at times, but well meaning. or at least trying to be. but she was still your sister and for some reason, you were just going to get over it, in the real way, without thinking twice. 

but you do realize that it was too naive to think that years of butting heads and stepping on each other’s toes wasn’t going to go away just because you had decided to be friends and sang kumbaya while buying lingerie. 

that much should have been obvious though, since sukuna and yuuji had done their version of that years prior, and yet still had the meltdown they did a few months ago. it was always one of those complicated things you figured – growing up in the same house, being competition, stuck in admiration or hatred. 

the family business, one that sukuna and yuuji both refused to ever be a part of, has fallen at the seams. and while sukuna has no intention of ever working there – much to satoru’s delight – he’s fixing the mess of the finances that were left behind for all of the employees and the stipends that he were going to help his mom. 

meaning he has to go back to town. the town that you refuse to return to for the time being. and he won’t let you accompany him.   

and it’s in the week that he disappears that you wonder if you’re starting to be too codependent. if it’s normal for you to miss someone this amount, to worry about him so much, to the point where he occupies your every thought. 

he tries to call when he can. sometimes they’re a few in between because you know that he’s spending time with his mom, that he doesn’t like being home, that whatever it all is – it’s stressful and he hates it. 

your mom sends you a picture of him once in a while. sometimes you stare at it for a little too long. 

“hi sweet girl. how are you?” 

his voice sounds tired over the phone, the smallest hint of a rasp tinged in with the strained tone. 

“i’m okay, ryo. how are you?” 

sukuna can feel his heart sink at the nickname. at the fact that you use nicknames, terms of endearment, and he hasn’t heard them in days. 

“good, good. are you getting ready for bed?” sukuna asks. 

“yeah.” 

there’s a quiet beat. maybe you should have been more descriptive than that. that was a little flat. 

“is that fucking gel cat strawberry in the spot next to you?” 

you smile. 

“it’s a jelly cat. and yes, it is.” 

“enjoy it while it lasts. i’m going to throw it out the window when i get back.” 

“you’re so rude.” 

he laughs over the line and you can’t help but sigh before immediately regretting it. 

you wonder if he sleeps well. or if he laughs often with the moms or if he’s just run in different directions trying to make sure they’re all okay. 

“oh don’t break my heart, now. you miss me, sweetheart?” he murmurs. 

you can tell by the tone in the voice that he’s trying to coddle you. you almost want to give in just to hear him sweet talk you down. 

“yeah. gets real scary here without you.” you joke

“is that right?” 

“not actually. but you know like right before you go to sleep and the house creaks? i panic for one second and then decide that i should send a prayer out to the universe so i don’t die before falling asleep.” 

“always one for the dramatics.” 

“i know. i’m sure it always creaks but i’ve always shared a room – either with sammy or with mai across the way who was always blasting music. and you snore, so i never even not–” 

“i don’t snore.” 

“yes, you do.” 

“no, i don’t.” 

“i will admit. while it does take me some time to fall asleep, i’ve never slept so soundly with you gone. it’s so serene.” 

you know for a fact that sukuna’s rolling his eyes on the other side of the line. 

“wow, sweetheart. i should just do you a favor and stay here longer then.” 

“every night i wake up in a panic without you! i’ll never sleep again!” you joke. 

sukuna laughs. 

“that sounds about right. but really…i…i’ll be back soon, okay? i don’t like being away for so long.” he murmurs quietly. 

you frown. 

“don’t feel bad. you know you have to be there.” 

“i don’t feel bad. well, maybe i do a little but i mainly just fucking miss you.” he mumbles. 

you smile. 

“sap.” 

you pause. 

“i miss you too, you know?” 

“i was waiting for that. give me a little more.” he responds. 

you smile. mainly at the fact that he expresses what he wants so openly. or that he misses it just as much as you do. 

“i miss you a lot. it feels so weird to sleep in our bed without you that i fall asleep on the fold out couch.” 

sukuna scoffs. 

“you mean you fall asleep watching tv and don’t move because i’m not there to pick you up?” 

“yeah, more like that.” 

sukuna laughs. 

“sleep in the guest.” 

“ew. it smells like yuuji and megumi’s cologne. and while they smell great, i don’t like smelling like them when i wake up.” 

“does our bed smell like me?” he asks. 

“yeah but i prefer the real thing so i sleep on the couch. i refuse to elaborate.” 

sukuna gets it. 

“i’ll be back soon, okay? i’m almost done and then…then i’m running back to you, alright?” he whispers. 

“okay. i do have something planned this weekend for your birthday, but don’t stress about it. it won’t be anything big.” 

sukuna pauses. 

he forgot that his birthday was coming around. 

he would be lying if he was saying that he wasn’t looking forward to it. he supposes that he was your opposite in that way. since no matter what it was, the circumstances good or bad, your birthday had been soured so bad that nothing could make it good – not even him. 

he didn’t blame you. or even take it personally.  

but he couldn’t relate. because he knew you – and it wasn’t arrogant of him to assume that you were going to go all out, no matter the circumstances. not only did you have a bad habit of leaving tabs or notes that were very clearly labeled gift ideas out in the open, but he knew that you would do something special for him, that he’d get to chart in all of the cherished memories that he had with you. 

it would be another sour patch of his that you’d sew right over, with careful and steady hands. but with every milestone that he thought of now, it was bittersweet. 

first birthday with you. first birthday without his dad – not that it really meant much in the first place. 

“no parties.” sukuna clarifies. 

“no, it’ll actually be just you and me. and i think you’ll like it, you–” 

“i’ll love it.” 

you smile. 

“i love you.” you state. 

he’s quiet on the other side of the line. 

“sukuna?” 

“i want to say it back but the moms are staring at me.” he mumbles quietly.

you smirk. 

“say it.” 

“no.” 

“you’re going to let me go to bed without an i love you?” 

“i’ll text it to you.” 

“ryomen sukuna. tell me you love me.” 

sukuna sighs. 

“i love you. call me if you can’t sleep, okay?” 

you can hear giggling in the background. and you’re sure he’s three different shades of pink. 

“i will.” 

--

not even an hour later, yuuji is standing on your doorstep – with a peachy smile and a bag slung over his shoulder. 

“yuuji? you–” 

“sleepover!” 

he walks past you and falls straight onto the couch, placing his bag next to him as he reaches for the remote. you quickly shut the door and take the spot next to him, watching as he starts shuffling through the movies, so cavalier about barging in so late and unannounced. 

“do you always show up to people’s apartment’s unprovoked with all your things?” 

yuuji smiles, reaching forward to flick your forehead. 

“no, just for you.” 

“figures.” 

you watch as he flits through all of the movies, nestling his head into your shoulder, as you return the gesture and lean your cheek against his. it takes two seconds for you to figure it out. 

“did he call you?” you ask. 

“he did. said some weird stuff about tables and carrying stuff. pretty sure he was just asking me to keep you company, which don’t mind if i do.” yuuji responds. 

you smile. of course. 

“i made one half joke about how i don’t like to sleep alone and he sent you running.” 

“isn’t that sweet? i can tell he’s been thinking about you a lot.” yuuji responds. 

you lean back, giving him a confused look. and you can tell by the look on his face that he knows exactly what you’re trying to get at, but pretends otherwise. 

“what? it’s sweet! he asked me to come take care of you.” yuuji clarifies. 

“since when do you find him sweet? no lecture about how he thinks i can’t handle things on my own?” 

yuuji scoffs, before pressing on the princess diaries. 

“you can’t take care of anything on your own.” 

“what a vote of confidence.” you deadpan

yuuji sighs, as you watch the movie start, and both sink deeper into the couch. a telltale sign that you realize both sukuna and yuuji have – one that you deeply appreciate – is that they’re always careful with their words. 

the opposite of sammy really, of your dad too. they won’t talk until they know whatever they’re going to say is something they mean. 

“you can take care of things on your own. but i like that being with him means that you don’t have to sometimes. for both of you.” yuuji states. 

you smile. 

“i like that too. it’s a nice change.” you respond. 

“i’m really sorry, y/n.” 

“i know.” 

yuuji swallows hard, reaching for the remote and pausing the movie before he turns to your side, your limbs now a tangled mess of being criss-crossed as he leans forward. 

“really. i’ve been so shit to you when this is all i’ve ever wanted for you.” 

“it’s okay. this…this stuff is really complicated for you and…” 

yuuji shakes his head, before looking down at your joined hands, fingers interlocked together. 

“this isn’t any excuse but…but…” 

yuuji sighs. 

“when sukuna came back, i thought he was really different. i mean, he was really different. i don’t know what you noticed, but he came back softer. he always gave me my space and let me come to him and we were working back through all of our stuff together.” yuuji starts. 

you’re not sure if you noticed a difference after he came back. he always seemed the same as always – a little withholding, like he was keeping you at arms distance. though, that seems to make more sense to you now. 

“but he’s still the brother i grew up with. there’s still things that i’m sensitive to, that…that i can’t get over.” 

you feel a pang in your chest. 

“i get that. you know…i kind of get that with sammy sometimes.” 

yuuji frowns. 

“yeah?” he whispers. 

you can feel the bitter contempt in your chest lingering. 

“i don’t know. i thought things were going well but…sometimes it’s just the same things as before. she’s just…always brushing me off. so harsh with her words. sometimes i think about the funeral and i’m glad sukuna’s not here just so i can lock myself in here and be alone.” 

you shake your head. 

“it’s like she’s picking at a scab. it’s the one thing i don’t want her to do and it’s the one thing that always happens. and she’s the only person who has that power in the first place, who…who gets to be that sore spot. and i know that it’s just how it is and it’s complicated but…” 

“but you can’t.” yuuji finishes. 

you shrug. 

“you were my scab.” yuuji states. 

you curl your nose in disgust, looking up to find the same expression mirrored on his face before you both laugh. 

“real cute.” 

“i mean…my thing with sukuna was that he was always better than me in every respect. that…that everything he did was perfect, that…that he was born normal and i wasn’t.” 

you cringe. 

“you are normal, you..” 

yuuji smiles. 

“i know i am. i just mean in my head, i always figured things were so easy for him. school was easy, sports were easy. he liked girls – he’d never have to sit there and debate if he was ever going to meet someone who liked him and when if he did, he wouldn’t have to give up his entire family for it.” 

yuuji pauses. 

“you were my best friend. you are my best friend. you’re my thing that’s always been easy. we don’t really fight, spending time with you never gets old, and…and really, you’re the only person i’ve known will always be around.” 

you smile. 

“it just felt like another thing he was going to be better at than me. and it’s selfish, but it was something i didn’t want to share. and i don’t expect you to get it, but…” 

you scoff. 

“don’t expect me to get it? you’re forgetting that i was the one who had to learn how to share you first. and maybe i didn’t say it out loud, but…i had some evil monologues for megumi that i was cooking up in my head.” 

yuuji laughs, almost like he’s relieved. 

“really?” 

“trust me. there was an entire basis behind the petty comments that i was making. i should have been more open with it but…but i don’t hate you for feeling that way. if anything, it makes me kind of happy, i guess. it did feel like you forgot all about me once you guys started dating, but…it’s nice to know you feel that way still. about me. even if it was annoying.” 

you pause. 

“you and i are special. and i can’t speak for you, but…sukuna’s never going to be what you are for me. i love him, but you…you’re not someone who could ever be replaced.” you affirm. 

yuuji smiles. 

“and megumi isn’t what you are for me either. he’s the love of my life. but you’re always going to be my soulmate.” 

you smile, rolling over the word in your head. soulmate – you and yuuji were soulmates. and he leans forward, placing his hands on your shoulder and squeezing. 

“now go on. tell me about him.” 

“what?” you ask. 

“i know you want to tell me about how happy you are. how it makes you feel. and i want to hear it. just refrain from talking about like how big his dick is or whatever and i’ll be fine.” 

you smile. 

“really? you mean it?” 

yuuji smiles back. 

“i’ve unfortunately heard the entire story of what that asshole was doing to you after the fact. it would make me really happy to hear how happy you are now.” 

you lean back on the couch and explain it all to him – french toast, bridgerton mugs (which he winces at when he remembers sammy broke them), emails, his coworkers, kisa, and everything in between. 

you don’t hear the apartment creak at night when you go to bed – instead it’s his labored breaths next to yours. 

--

sukuna makes it back early in the morning to find yuuji making breakfast in the kitchen and what he knows is you facedown still dead asleep in the mound of blankets on the couch. he gives yuuji a noncommittal wave before walking over to the couch and bending down at the side. 

sukuna can’t help but reach forward, brushing his back of his fingers against the softness of your cheek before tangling your hair away from your forehead. he can smell the remnants of the shampoo in your hair, your lips still a glossy pink from the balm you put on at night. 

“wake her up. give her a kiss.” yuuji whispers, now standing at his side. 

“are you crazy? she’s sleeping.” 

sukuna shakes his head, reaching forward to press a kiss to your hairline, before the two of them shuffle back to the kitchen. sukuna settles for a cup of coffee as he watches yuuji make the mix of french toast, the stillness hanging in the air between them. 

“dunno. if it were me and i went days without seeing megumi, i’d wake him up right away. why deprive myself of love and affection?” 

“you should deprive yourself more often. i’ve seen you two kiss far too many times. heard the words gumi bear way more than i’d like to.” 

yuuji snorts. 

“was she happy you came?” sukuna asks. 

“yeah. doubt she heard any of that creaking or anything she was telling you about since we were talking the entire time.” yuuji responds. 

it’s a small breath of relief – that sending yuuji was the right move – only to be coupled with guilt. 

sukuna hadn’t had time to check in on yuuji. 

“what did you talk about?” 

yuuji grins. 

“you.” 

yuuji looks over at him, grinning at him fully this time. 

“special edition bridgerton mugs? twilight themed emails? who knew you were so fucking corny? and that you watch bridgerton?” 

sukuna can feel his cheeks heat up, as he rolls his eyes. 

“she loves that shit. she made me watch it.” 

“no, she didn’t. she told me that you had watched it already and that your favorite season is the first one? not only are you a liar but you have god awful taste.” 

“let me guess. you like kate and anthony, like every other person on the fucking planet?” 

yuuji rolls his eyes. 

“everyone likes it for a reason. it’s perfect.” 

the two of them glare at each other, before giving up, and letting the same stillness take over. it’s not exactly uncomfortable, but there’s something lingering there – the two of them are stuck in their own heads about how they’re going to approach it, and more importantly, who is going to do it first. 

it’s yuuji. 

“the mugs thing is sweet. i’m sorry sammy broke them.” 

sukuna shrugs. 

“i’m bidding on ebay. no big deal.” 

yuuji notes that he responds to the second part of the statement and not the first. 

“i like that you do nice things for her. she really appreciates that you do.” yuuji repeats. 

 sukuna sighs. 

“did she say that?” 

yuuji smiles. 

“all that and more. she really loves you.” 

sukuna lets his eyes wander back to the couch, settling back into how foreign the apartment feels from being away for so long, and trying to let it all come back to him – how it was before he left things, how the two of you were. 

he’s scared he’ll do it wrong. 

“I’m really happy for you too. she’s exactly what you deserve.” yuuji states. 

it’s a weird sense of deja vu that sukuna gets – of the very first night. that loud bar, the mildew smell in the bathroom, and your tear streaked pink face. of the very first time that it occurred to him that there were people who had upset you, who had let you down, and that maybe he was the only person who was good enough for you – because he was the only one who intended to give you what you deserve. 

that he got to reap the goodness of the sweet love when he knew for a fact that he’d always be one to give it back to you, no matter how he was. that he was exactly what you deserved – maybe the only person who was because of how much he loved you. 

“what?” 

yuuji takes a beat. 

“were you expecting the opposite?” yuuji asks. 

“do you blame me?” 

yuuji shakes his head. 

“i am really happy for both of you. but i wouldn’t lie if i said i was more happy for you. i’ve known her a long time – and i’ve always wanted her to have someone who saw her for how special she is. and i always knew that it would happen, it was just a matter of time.” 

yuuji continues. 

“but i’m more happy for you. i had no idea that you had liked her for that long. i only now realize that the only person you could be that open with is her. and well…i don’t fucking know. shit sucked when we were kids. maybe for all of us, but for you the most. i know she loves hard. and i mean it, that’s what you deserve after everything.” 

there’s a lump in sukuna’s throat. he wants to tell yuuji everything – about why he left, about how him being around made it easy for him for a long time, how there was a time where he didn’t think he was going to live past twenty and now he’s reaching yet another birthday on the weekend. 

“i spent my entire life thinking i’d never get to be in love. and i’m not sure if that’s what you thought – but i know you weren’t ever thinking you’d get the girl of your dreams, and that on top of that, that it would be perfect. but really. it’s nothing more than what you deserve, sukuna.” 

but all he does is give him a nod. yuuji’s smart enough to parse what it means – that in the long rambling that he heard last night – he knows he has to learn how to read the silences, the quiet cues. 

“it means a lot to her that you came around.” sukuna starts. 

sukuna clears his throat. 

“and to me too.” he finishes. 

yuuji smiles. 

“and i suppose i should thank you. i always said she was like family to me, but it’ll be nice to tell people she’s actually my sister in the future.” yuuji responds, before squeezing his shoulder. 

sukuna smiles. 

“do you really let her call you ryomen?” yuuji asks. 

“yeah.” 

“thought you hated that name.” 

“i did.” 

there’s a reason that he went by sukuna. because every time that he slipped, he’d hear that godwful venomous voice, of his father telling him that he had given him such a special family name – and that sukuna had done nothing to deserve it. 

sukuna vividly remembers when he was a kid, when he used to beg everyone around him to call him sukuna, correcting them until they virtually forgot that his name was ryomen in the first pace. 

sukuna can feel the dryness in his throat, accompanied with a burning wetness in his eyes. yuuji makes no comment about it. 

“she just says it with so much love.” 

sukuna pauses, trying to will away that rising wave of emotion that was simmering in his chest, and put it away for the time being. 

“what did she get me for my birthday?” sukuna asks. 

yuuji nods. 

“she’s taking you on a weekend trip. a few cities over. she said there’s some cherry blossoms in season and that there’s a few museums that she wants you to see. figured it would be a nice rest for you given everything that’s been going on.” 

sukuna sighs, only because the wave comes back in full force. 

to be loved is to be known. 

clear cut proof that you had heard him loud and clear, when he had bared his soul to you. and not only that, but had known well enough that whatever was stewing in his head was getting dangerously close, maybe the closest it had been in years, to the edge – and that you had every intention to pull him back in the way he had pulled himself out in the first time. 

“is that good?” yuuji asks. 

“it’s perfect.” sukuna responds, before giving him one last nudge. 

sukuna decides that he won’t deprive himself. and instead leans forward, pressing his lips against yours – and pleasantly surprised when you smile right back at him in your sleep, his name honey on your lips, as he sinks into your arms. 

--

next part linked here

an: kind of filler again. sorry. apologies. also two more of this fic before it's done :O

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[springsmile]

the way it is || 2

tw: nsfw, fingering, dubcon that turns into noncon, victim blaming, mentions of self h*rm

[part 1]

whenever he touches you, you focus on the sensation of shredded flesh and that metallic scent entering your windpipe. you inhale it complacently.

heavy petting and apologies, gruff at that, are the new normal. you wonder if they’re sincere, or if they’re ones of remorse. you wouldn’t accept them, either way.

you prefer the basement. the concrete (frigid—leaving you curled into yourself, teeth rattling, arms in a bruising wind around your shins), when your bones would creak with any brisk jerk, eyelids leaden, wondering if keloids would befall the columns on your arms.

instead, beneath you is his arm. and across your torso is another. each chiseled with same strength afforded to your wrists and ankles and throat. they’re heavy. they anchor you to the soft silk of the bedspread, balmy with your sweat. katsuki is impossibly close, breath gliding across your face in gentle huffs. it’s the picture of domesticity. only you know it’s something more uncanny.

sometimes, you long for his brutality. for his unparalleled thew, for the rage so palpable you could taste it, and for the anticipatory furling of your gut. the duality of anxiety was hardly distinguishable anymore. you relish in it, now.

katsuki rouses moments later, his fingers card through your hair, which he took to washing regularly (you couldn’t be trusted to do it alone), and a hum reverberates through his chest and throat.

“how’d you sleep?” he mumbles.

“i didn’t.” you say honestly.

his lips fall into a frown, and you’re unwittingly slotted his chest.

“i’m sorry.” he breathes, and by god, you detest his breath. there’s no odor, but you loathe inhaling it. his fragment of his being lives inside you, even if just for a moment. “nightmares?”

“no. you just fucking disgust me.”

he still has the gall to look crestfallen. he snares his bottom lip in between his teeth.

“besides that. do you need those meds again?”

the ones he would crush in his fist into a fine dust put into your water. and when you caught on, and refused to drink, he’d apply an ungodly amount of pressure on your jaw with one hand, and with the other, pressed it down your throat.

you suppress a visceral shiver. “it’s up to you, katsuki. it always is.”

he’s grown tired of your resignation— but he’s more so afraid of your fragility. are you gone for good? did he decimate you into jagged little remnants? now, he could only gather you in his hands and hold your chest his ear. waiting for the rhythmic thumps.

“it’s not.” he says firmly, and when his hand begins to make way for your face, you brace for contact. his hand falters, and eventually thumbs the unevenness of your skin. “do you want to start taking them again?”

you didn’t want to do this anymore.

was breaking better than being broken?

you enjoyed being thorny, if anything. you liked inflicting pain, however minuscule, with your tongue. but you subconsciously longed to feel something. the hearth of life.

for whatever reason unbeknownst to you, your lips part, and acquiescence follows.

“okay.”

he startles at your agreeableness. a smile succeeds the aforementioned frown. and it almost makes you fucking sick.

he untangles himself from you, and relief overcomes you, stemming from the pit of your stomach.

“want breakfast?”

“yes.”

you’re still startled by the sound of your own voice. what was once ragged and frayed around the edges is now subdued, free of any rasp.

you descend downstairs with a hunch, shoulders skimming the lobes of your ears. you’re now more privy to sound and any movement that invades your peripherals. you can creakily yet effectively maneuver if you deem necessary. though, it’s unlikely you require this astuteness any longer, as katsuki has been rendered to pliancy.

he places precisely two pieces of toast and a banana before you. it’s all you can stomach, having transitioned from soups in the basement to agreeable solids upstairs.

katsuki drags his chair out, and falls onto it. he watches you through half lidded eyes, and despite this apparent lethargy, you’re well acquainted with the fact that he could spring into action at a moment’s notice.

you stand.

there’s not a single thought in your head— not a coherent one, anyway. not one that isn’t incessant. rampant.

you approach katsuki, and gradually, his eyelids sink back. swinging a leg over his lap, you begin to straddle him. his shock encourages you to continue. what, you couldn’t say.

“(y-y/n)?” he chokes weakly.

you say nothing. and from your sides, your hands tremble as they lift, and hold the sides of his face how one would handle china. then, without a second thought, you dive down and kiss him, eyes wide open.

you wanted to feel something. anything. anything would do. you skin could crawl to where you would take anything with a sharp edge to your skin and peel it all off. that was okay. you could handle it. you could handle it.

you could pretend. evoke that pool of desire that would once brew and bubble in your belly.

katsuki makes a sound of shock. and for all of what you’d known of him, you had expected him to reciprocate. after all, before he wanted so badly to be a father. he was ready, he assured. he could get all the diapers and crap.

with newfound dread at the forefront of your senses, you begin to draw back, when hands anchor you in place and his lips finally work against yours.

twitching, your hand surges for his cock, which had sprung into rigidity. thanks to you, he’d suffered a dry period, after all.

“you want my cock, (y/n)?” he husks around your lips. “huh? was all that just you being a brat? were you faking?”

it was refreshing— how his remorse had morphed the second you put out.

“you wanted attention, didn’t you?” he growls, a hand inches up the shirt that hung on your body. it’s his, of course. he kneads your breast. “s’that why you hurt yourself?”

no, no, no, nononononononononoNONONONO.

you don’t speak, your vocal chords had melted together within the buzzing summery heat that emanated from inside of you. sound was dulled into nothing.

seconds later, calloused digits invade the warmth of your dry cunt. katsuki is undeterred. his palm gyrates atop your clit. your lungs inflate instantly.

he starts with a single finger, which he neglected to lubricate, and pumps it steadily. coupled with the motions on your sensitive nub, your pussy leaks hot, glinting juices in no time.

katsuki gives that notorious crooked grin. the one where his eyes narrow, and all his teeth are on display.

“fuuuck, (y/n). look how wet your perfect pussy is getting for me.” he snarls. “you could’ve just asked, baby. i would’ve gladly delivered. didn’t need to be all coy and fuckin’ gloomy.”

tears follow the ring of cream that gathers around his knuckles. the wet squelching, and the curling of his fingers (when he added a second one, you didn’t know) have your chest heaving, mind in overdrive with words flitting around the walls of your brain with the ferocity of atoms in a gaseous state.

do you want to? don’t you want to?

“i love you, (y/n).” katsuki says into your ear. “i’m so glad you realized this is how we’re supposed to be. this is your place.”

bile rises in your throat.

[tesseractingrey]

After seeing TIT in Philly, I’ve been pondering on the power of “light entertainment,” as Phil defines it, and why we all watch Dan and Phil. It’s one of the main messages of the show, and so maybe this is all obvious to everyone else, but I would like to yap more on the subject and so I will.

They explore in the show if they should be doing what other content creators do and come to the conclusion that no, that doesn’t work for them. And through their solo monologues they reveal that they aren’t really looking to grow significantly and have mainstream appeal, they really just are happy with us and where they’re at. Their content sometimes is quite funny and as much as we enjoy seeing the parts of the relationship that they want to show us, it’s so much less about whether the truth of their relationship is what we Want it to be or not and more about the fact that they feel comfortable sharing any amount of truth with us. We enjoy their relationship not because we want them to be any sort of way, but because they are happy and that happiness fills their videos these days. Their content is safe and happy, it’s that “warm feeling inside,” and the community they’ve cultivated is the same.

Something we teachers talk about sometimes is who has That Thing. There’s some indefinable Thing that some teachers have and some don’t. When you have it, kids just naturally listen better and trust you quicker and form stronger relationships with you. It sounds crazy spelled out like that, but I know some very experienced and smart teachers who don't have That Thing, and see how kids behave with them versus with a teacher who does, and the difference is palpable, if logically inexplicable.

Whatever That Thing is, Dan and Phil have it for content creation. There's something magnetic about them that draws us in and makes us feel warm and safe and we've built an amazing community together around that. I think That Thing is part of why they are where they are where they are, even though their content is mainly just gay banter with some light gaming mixed in these days. It’s not a perverse and invasive fascination with their personal lives that draws us to them, it’s just them, as they truly are, that makes their content special. As much as we do enjoy seeing their relationship, it’s more in a “providing enrichment in our enclosure” way than a “this is what drew me in and the only reason I’m here” type thing, especially these days. I love their love, but I love their happiness even more.

I’m glad that they are so happy and comfortable now with their lives and continuing to make content, because I look forward to continuing to watch it, in whatever form it may take. I don’t know how I ever lived without this warm feeling inside, and I hope to keep enjoying it for a while. It’s light entertainment and there IS value in that, not everything has to be insanely deep or emotionally devastating to be worthy of our love, but it’s not JUST light entertainment, it matters that They are the ones doing the entertaining. Maybe it’s just parasociality, but I do think we’ve got something special here, and I think they’re something special.

[no1deepspacehater]

NSFW ABC's - Xavier !

A/N: Zayne is up next for this one! Minors look away ofc! Also some minor spoilers in letters E and K

Enjoy!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Mostly, he’s so ready to sleep, but if that doesn’t fit your needs, he stays up for you. Need a shower? He’ll help you wash up. Something to eat? He’s not the best cook but cereal after sex always hits the spot anyways.

His most preferred aftercare is after a cold shower, you both just cuddle each other to sleep. You’re his favourite teddy bear to hold.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For him, his arms. Strong and buff from years, and I mean years, of sword practicing. Upper body strength of the Gods, perfect for holding you up with he fucks you against the wall, or just caging you in while you ride him. Grip his arms in any position and he’s beaming.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Moderate amount when he cums BUT he leaks. One stroke and his dick is wet. Prefers to cum inside/with a condom just because it gets sticky and messy, but is SO more than down if you want him to cum anywhere else.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

While masturbating has accidentally came on one of the plushies you gave him. He fell asleep right after and it left a stain he couldn’t wash out. Said plushie is now hidden away where you’ll never find it, and when you ask him about it he always says he lost it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

SPOILERS FOR HIS LORE!

Ok so here’s my headcanons, he’s either:

Has NEVER had sex because, well, he only wants you. Probably doesn’t watch porn for the same reason. Most knowledge he’s have is conversations with close friends but no hands on work.

HAS had sex before, but with previous lifetimes/timelines of you. Kinda more fun to work with this one because, he’d know all your sensitive spots, even ones you don’t know about. He’d now just how to rile you up and have you seeing literal stars.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

When he has energy or is in that type of mood: variations of missionary, I feel like he’d be into wall sex.

Other than that, as long as your on top of him and he could see your face, he’s happy. Sometimes he’ll let you do your thing while he’s being a little pillow princess, othertimes he’s the one in absolute control even though you’re above him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Always light giggles here and there because you both are being so cute. Sometimes though he’s not serious but he gets in this focused/locked in type of mode when you both are having particularly passionate sex.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

HEAR ME OUT HERE!! Rarely clean shaven just because he’d literally rather sleep. It’s not a jungle, but definitely had to start keeping it lower when you both do start to get intimate. I’d say once a week at least, once every two weeks at least. Now listen closely, he’s got a happy trail, nobody argue with me. His hair down there is a bit darker/browner than his actual hair, but it’s still pretty light that if you look too fast you’ll miss it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s a sappy little alien boy. Always showering you with praises so most of the time you’re a smiling blushing mess, which makes him smile as well. Even when he’s being dominant he’s calling you cute little pet names, anddd he’s got that smug little snark that’s just waiting for you to challenge him so he could show you who really is the most powerful here.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Doesn’t really do it much because sleep >> anything else. When he does have to release some pent up energy he generally just does it to get it out of the way and falls back asleep. Sometimes falls asleep dick in hand mid stroke.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I feel like he would be into roleplay. It’d take him a while to bring it up, but once he does it kinda helps him to actually express his emotions more in a way? But having you dress up as different things turns him on as well (the maid outfit is not surviving the night).

Also hear me out on this I feel like he’d have a pregnancy kink. (SPOILER: Something about you both living long enough to have a family) You’d just look sexy with a belly to him.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His or your place, where you can really let go. As for specifics:

The bed, the kitchen counter, the bathroom, the couch, to the windowww to the wall. As long as your both comfortable, he’s so down to screw you anywhere.

But thats not to say you both haven’t gotten... freakaayyy in the staff room closet at work once or twice... or five times.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Though he can just hear your name and he’s turned on, he particularly likes when you sass him back or give a little attitude. It’s like a declaration of sexual war between you two and he’s adamant that he wins.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Won’t bruise you too hard or hurt you in a serious way (like blood and stuff). He can’t, he just can’t. Hard choking as well is uncomfortable for him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Lives for eating you out/giving head. Even if he’s too tired for penetration he’s got more than enough energy for you to sit on his face and just let him go wild. Or literally he’ll get on his knees and just keep going harder everytime you tug his hair when he’s hitting a sweet spot. Will literally overstimulate you every time because he’s just having so much fun.

As for receiving, he doesn’t ask for it much but would neverrr decline. He twitches so much and constantly has to hold himself back from bucking his hips up and shoving his dick down your throat. Hearing you swallow all of his cum makes him literally orgasm a second time.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast, no, rarely. Slow, sensual, rough in an almost primal like way but still soft? Yes! He needs to feel every bit of you, and make sure you’re feeling every bit of him.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Appreciative of a good quickie. Though he’s more qeen on having ample time to do with you what he wants, there has been situations where he’s had to pull you to an empty room and set a new world record for the both of you. Sometimes the both of you are at home doing the nasty when you get called to a mission, and then suddenly it’s a race for time lol.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

If it’s for you, he’ll try anything (within reason). He is a risk taker as well, because really to him it’s not a risk if he’s going to succeed anyway. Just has to make sure he’s thought of every outcome and weighed out the pros vs cons, which he can decide very quickly when you’re looking at him like that.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Depends on how much time between the rounds. After round one, let him take a quick nap and he’s back on it like white on rice. Anything more than that will require a full day of sleeping with cuddles with you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I feel like personally he never bothered with toys, but would not be opposed to use one on you. It’s like having another way to satisfy you (and tease you endlessly). He likes to feel your touch rather than a toy but he’s okay with anything you want mostly.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s such a switch, honestly. One day he’s begging for you and the next he’s making YOU beg until you literally can’t handle it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

This man is a moaner and whimperer. He tries to hold it back mostly so it’s a lot of hot whimpering and mumbling at first but keep riling him up he’ll get louder. Says your name like a prayer always.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

 Turns your plushies around before you guys have sex, all of them. He says he doesn’t want to taint their innocence.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Thick in diameter, average sized in length. Definitely a shower but it’s pretty like him in every way anyway. Has one (1) prominent vein that hits just right. Colour just slightly darker than his skin colour (he’s pretty pale so) but tip is a light pink (#E6C5AD, if you will). Turns more red as he’s about to cum/is stroking or whatever. Yes I have thought a lot about this.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Having to wait lifetimes for your lover can leave you pretty wanting at times. That being said Xavier doesn’t really indulge in himself too often, and he’s quite the sleeper so in general it’s pretty low. But it can lead to some fun times where he’s just teasing you forever.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Like a LIGHT. After proper aftercare he is ready for the nap of his life.

[heesdreamer]

TWO FOR ONE

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader x jake

SUMMARY ➩ Don’t let the tiny amount of plot fool you… this is straight up smut lol. Heeseung is a gentle giant who doesn’t talk much and Jake is an absolute menace

WARNINGS ➩ Straight up smut. slight switch heeseung… he just listens well lol, hard dom jake but he’s sweet at times, double penetration, slight degrading… it’s just a mess lol this is definitely getting content blocked. Heejake are NOT together and do not get intimate at all other then slight instruction from the latter! NOT PROOFREAD

WC ➩ 11.1k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ So.. I’m back lol. Not what I typically write but well… guess I was in a mood so here you go. Hope you enjoy however many of you manage to see this considering tumblr isn’t being so kind to smut writers right now

It wasn’t like you weren’t accustomed to men and their actions, especially in your specific line of work.

Being a waitress meant you were subjected to almost every type of man, ranging from the attractive ones who talked too much about themselves and their accomplishments to the less favorable who seemed to think calling out comments about your uniform would get them a date after your shift ended.

You loved your job on a regular day, working in a hole in the wall diner that managed to get pretty heavy foot traffic between the drunk people wandering too far from the main stretch looking for cheap food and the truckers who were 16 hours into a shift and needing somewhere warm to refuel on coffee and stretch their legs.

The summers were hectic and considering part of your uniform entailed rolling around on a pair of bright pink skates as you delivered hot mugs and stacks of plates, you definitely wouldn’t have liked it as much if it wasn’t for your coworkers and the hefty tips you’d get if you managed to bring yourself to batting your eyelashes at the customers.

You were six hours into a shift now and your ankles were definitely swollen from the tight skate laces around your ankles, hair frizzier than it had been in the morning from the humidity and sweat and you were almost positive some sticky mouthed kid had stuck gum on the back of your apron.

Still your attention was locked on a booth in the corner of the diner, leaning forward on the counter with your elbows holding up your weight to stop you from rolling forward or backwards. Your eyebrow was raised as you looked at the two people seated across from each other and you were running over your mental catalog to see if you’d seen them before. Eventually decided you definitely hadn’t considering the reason for your initial curiosity, that being the fact they were the complete opposite of your usual demographic.

“They screw you out of a solid tip or something?” Your coworkers voice was mumbling from beside you and you glanced over just in time to see him taking off his hairnet and leaning down on the counter next to you.

Riki had actually been one of the skaters a year or two back before he hit a random growth spurt and became to clumsy and accident prone. It had only taken three spilled coffees onto unexpecting patrons before he was being push back onto cook duty in the back kitchen, happy to at least have kept his job even if he was missing out on server tips now.

“They’re Sunoo’s table.” You were explaining to him and shaking your head softly, pausing for a second. “I just haven’t seen them around before.”

He was shrugging and you could feel him glancing at you in confusion before he was looking back at the two boys who were innocently eating their fries and barely paying attention to their surroundings. “So, what’s the big deal? Maybe they’ll be your first regulars who aren’t 60 years old.”

You didn’t directly respond to him but you kept watching the boys curiously for the rest of your shift and four more after that, they kept coming in day after day and sitting in the same booth in the corner.

Eventually you would’ve gotten bored of trying to figure out where they came from or what part of town they lived in, if it wasn’t for the fact they started to notice you too. Especially one of them considering he would continuously poke his head over the booths divider wall and look at you for a few seconds until you made eye contact with him, then he’d shoot back down and sit tight in his seat.

It was funny at first to see how nervous he got whenever you held his gaze for half a second but eventually it started to get on your nerves and distract you from your actual tables, never having served them yet considering they only sat in Sunoo’s section.

A week passed before you were sighing and asking your coworker if it was okay for you to swap sides of the diner for the day, watching his confused expression turn into a meddling one as he glanced over at the boys in the corner knowingly before he was nodding his head enthusiastically.

“Which one are you interested in?” He was whispering in your direction with an excited smile but you ignored his question due to your lack of an answer and skated back over to an awaiting table.

The next day they were coming in again and you watched them patiently for a few minutes before the nervous one was scurrying off to the bathroom, giving you the chance to smoothly skate over and stand in front of the booth. It took the remaining boy a few seconds to look at you and realize you weren’t Sunoo but he was smiling as soon as he trailed up your uniform and stopped on your face, not relenting even when your eyebrow cocked.

“Hey.” He was breathing out and your nose scrunched slightly at the confidence in his voice, glancing behind you for a second before sighing and tucking your pen behind your ear.

“Why does your friend keep staring at me?” You were asking swiftly and his smile faltered for a second at the sound of your annoyed tone, bored expression on your face as you stared down at him and waited for a response.

You could hear the sound of the bathroom door opening behind you but you didn’t turn, already knowing who it was based off context and the fact the boy sitting down was looking around your frame now and smiling again as he saw his friend returning to the table. It took longer than the walk from the bathroom usually did and you imagined he had frozen for a few seconds when he saw you standing there instead of Sunoo.

“He thinks you’re pretty.” Your eyes were shooting back to the boy who was sitting as he spoke and they stayed on him even when the new figure was sliding into the seat across from him and doing his best to avoid touching you, captivated for a moment by the way he was looking at you.

Then you were breaking away from his gaze to take in the boy you kept catching peeking at you, eyes flickering from his red cheeks to the glasses sat on top of his nose. He was both staring at you intensely and avoiding looking at you at all cost, darting from your face to your hands that were touching the table and then back at his friend with a slightly panicked expression.

“That true? You think I’m pretty?” You were asking him with a slight bite to your words, feeling almost suspicious like they were potentially making fun of you.

You knew you were pretty attractive but at work you weren’t exactly at your hottest, normally sweaty from the beating summer sun through the large windows and the effort that skating around in clean lines all day took. You imagined your hair was frizzing out of its ponytail by now and you typically carried a heavy grimace on your face unless you were attempting to butter up the high tipping regulars.

“He does.” The other boy was answering for him and you turned your gaze back towards him in a glare. “He talks about it all the time.”

“He can’t speak for himself?” You were interrupting harshly but your tense demeanor disappeared slightly when he was shaking his head in denial, glancing back towards the boy with glasses to see him looking much more embarrassed now that you were talking about him. “No he can’t or no he can?”

“I-I can.” He was hurrying to rush out in a stutter and your eyes softened slightly at the way his widened, trying his best to address you directly despite the way his friend was laughing softly across the table.

You turned your head to glare at him again for his small chuckles, feeling oddly protective over the other boy even though he’d been getting on your nerves with his constant distractions and staring. The first boy stopped laughing but kept a small smirk on his face as he watched you, eyes flicking down to your chest for a second as he scanned your name tag before meeting your stare again.

“I’m Jake and he’s Heeseung.” He nodded his head across the table at the latter part and you looked back over to the boy with glasses to see him attempt a small friendly smile in your direction.

You tested out their names in your head for a few seconds before you were sighing and taking your pen out from behind your ear, finally getting around to asking them for their orders and ignoring the way your cheeks were heating up as you skated back behind the counter.

——

Heeseung and Jake continued to come into your work regularly and you continued to ask Sunoo for that table even if it wasn’t on your side, every time flushing bright red at the knowing smirk on his face and eventually being overly grateful when he told you that you didn’t need to keep asking him every single time.

You didn’t speak to the boys much and you definitely weren’t friends but Jake tried to make conversation with you every time you took their order, smirking and leaning forward on the table with his elbows so he could stay in your line of vision even when you tried your hardest to ignore him from the corner of your eye. Heeseung stayed quiet for the most part outside of whispering out his orders but you felt him watching the side of your face the entire time you were around them.

So you weren’t exactly sure why you were accepting their invitation to come to their apartment one weekend after your shift had ended, at first ignoring Jake when he explained there was going to be a small party and he wanted to see you there.

He had smiled at you and wrote down their address anyways on one of the napkins from the metal dispenser, sliding it in your direction and not saying anything else when you snatched it off the table without agreeing to show up.

You were definitely overthinking the fact you’d shown up now considering you definitely hadn’t given any hint that you would be, standing outside their door and being hit with the realization they might not even want you here anymore or maybe it really was a small gathering and they only ordered enough food or drinks for a certain amount of people. You pictured having to stand all night because there wasn’t enough seats and your face pulled into a cringed grimace, getting ready to turn around and leave before the door was swinging open.

You froze for a few seconds before realizing it was just Jake but then you were tensing even more. You were used to seeing him in more casual clothes throughout the day but he was definitely dressing up tonight, sleeves rolled up just above his elbows and your eyes stayed locked on the thick veins in his arms for a few seconds before you were snapping back up to his face.

“You’re early.” He was chiming but that familiar sleazy smile was making its way to his face now after he’d seen you briefly checking him out. You rolled your eyes at his comment but you were grateful when he wordlessly stepped aside to let you pass through the front door.

“You didn’t exactly give me specifics.” You were sarcastically responding as you stood in the entryway, eyes scanning over their apartment and being pleasantly surprised by how normal it seemed.

It was almost overly tidy and you had a strong feeling that was more Heeseung’s doing, spotting stacks of video games pressed tightly onto an entertainment center shelf and perfectly dusted coffee tables with no liquid ring stains unlike how your own looked. You could see a hallway leading away from the main living area and there was three doors, one of them closed completely.

You turned your head to glance back at Jake over your shoulder to find him already watching you, his expression slightly darker now but softening again when he noticed you looking. “Where’s Heeseung?”

“He’s in his room getting ready still.” He was answering smoothly and you assumed the closed door must be his, nodding your head softly and pausing awkwardly for a second before kicking off your shoes by the door. “I think he’s nervous.”

Jake was moving towards the kitchen area as he talked and you watched him curiously as he opened the fridge and took out a drink, waiting for him to continue even when he was turning back around and resting his elbows on the counter as he glanced at you. He seemed to take notice of your curious expression and raised eyebrow, laughing in surprise for a second before he was opening his mouth to speak more.

“I meant it when I said he thought you were pretty and, if you haven’t noticed, he’s not the best with talking to girls.” He was shrugging softly as he talked but you could tell it was a deeper issue between the friends, something they’d definitely talked about before.

You were looking down towards the hallway again and then back at Jake.

“So you’re his wingman.” Your tone was flat as it fell from your mouth and you were taken back at your own directness, for some reason finding yourself grateful when he smiled softly instead of getting offended at your almost harsh level of bluntness.

He was shrugging again and you felt a small wave of frustration pass through you, not necessarily at the boy directly but at the fact he never seemed to give you a straight answer to anything and constantly watched you with that smirk he carried so naturally.

If it was any other situation, you would have figured Jake was the one who was interested in you. He was constantly watching you carefully in a way that almost made your skin crawl if it wasn’t for his easygoing demeanor and gentle way of speaking, especially to Heeseung who he seemed to care deeply for. Deep enough that he was constantly mentioning him any time the two of you were alone and solidifying the fact he didn’t like you himself.

You were sighing under your breath before nodding to yourself and turning on your heel, wandering down the hallway and knocking softly on the closed door before you could see Jake’s reaction, already picturing the amused look that must be on his face.

Despite your knocking, you didn’t actually have the patience to wait for him to come and open the door so it was more so a warning as your hand touched the knob and twisted it to reveal Heeseung standing in front of his mirror as he messed with his hair. His eyes flicked up to the reflection to see who it was coming into his room so suddenly and he froze up completely when he realized it was you, hand stood still in his dark hair and eyes widening a touch.

“Hey.” You breathed out and smoothed down your skirt awkwardly, needing something to do with your hands as you glanced around his room.

You figured your assumptions about the cleanliness of the apartment being his doing were right considering the state of his bedroom and you looked back over at him to see him still frozen in place, snapping back out of it slightly when he realized you were waiting for him to say something.

“H-hi, you’re early.” He was rushing out and turning to finally face you, his hands falling back to rest on the desk and then immediately being brought in front of his stomach instead like he wasn’t sure what to do with them.

“Jake said the same thing.” You told him and you tried your best to smile softly at him, trying to find a way to calm his nerves that were obviously increasing. You glanced at his bed and then back at him with a raised eyebrow, feeling thankful he got the memo and nodded his head softly with slightly parted lips. He watched you intensely as you lowered yourself down on his soft bed, glancing around your surroundings again and taking it in.

“It’s..” He trailed off awkwardly after attempting to start a sentence and your gaze went back to him curiously.

Heeseung was definitely attractive even if he lacked any signs of confidence, never really meeting your eye and instead allowing his more extroverted friend to basically speak for him instead of talking to you himself. It almost made him cuter to you despite not necessarily going for guys like that in the past but you were slightly flattered by how nervous he got whenever you approached their table.

He seemed especially on edge now that you were sitting carefully on his perfectly made bed, out of your stained uniform and dressed in a small skirt that was sliding up your thighs every time you slightly shifted. He was fidgeting with his hands still and you could see a soft blush on his face even though he was avoiding looking at you for more than a few seconds at a time.

“It’s what?” You were trying to coax the rest of his sentence out of him but his body stiffened at the soft tone you’d suddenly taken on, something he hadn’t heard before considering you typically were harshly barking a response towards Jake.

“It’s j-just.. not a bad thing that you’re early.” He was eventually forcing the words out and looking at you briefly to check your reaction, swallowing so hard that it almost looked painful. You were smiling softly but not immediately responding, letting his words hands delicately in the air for a few seconds before you were standing up and approaching him slowly.

He didn’t move away from the desk but he was completely tense now that you were close to him, still not near enough to touch but pretty clear in your intentions when you took another small step. He was so stiff that you were almost worried you were making him uncomfortable if it wasn’t for the many times Jake had told you that he liked you, encouraged you to make a move because Heeseung wouldn’t do it himself.

You were hit with a wave of disappointment and then embarrassment however when he was suddenly taking a few quick steps to the side and placing a hand over his face to try and cover the visible redness, staring at the floor to avoid the hurt on your expression considering he’d basically just ran away from you.

A mean scoff was falling from your lips before you could swallow it and Heeseung winced slightly at the sound, eyes squeezing shut for a second like he was preparing himself to be yelled at. You shook your head even though he wasn’t looking at you and swiftly turned to leave the room before you could embarrass yourself further, storming back down the hall and roughly attempting to put your shoes back on so you could go back home.

“Woah woah woah.” Jake’s voice was coming from the living room, sounding panicked and confused as he quickly stood up from the couch and approached you. You felt his hands touching the bare skin of your arm and you flinched softly before glaring at him, watching as he took the hint and held the hand up in surrender. “Hey, what happened?”

His voice was gentle but you could tell he already had a feeling by the way he was glancing towards the hallway with a similar disappointment on his face.

“You said he liked me.” You spat at him and you were even more mortified considering the embarrassed tears that were threatening to spill, bending back down to try and pull on your other shoe but stopping when you felt his hand touching you again.

He was holding your arm softly and not taking it off this time despite the murderous look you were giving him, squeezing your skin just enough to get your attention as he waited for you to stand back to your full height and focus on him before spreading. “He does, I promise you he does Y/N. He just… he’s inexperienced.”

“Oh you don’t say.” Your laugh was mocking and mean and you would’ve felt more guilty if it wasn’t for the anger coursing through you, more convinced now they had been messing with you.

“I’m serious.” His tone was harsher now that you were seemingly making fun of his friend, his touch still gentle despite the slight edge to his gaze. “He’s never even kissed a girl before.”

“What?” You were fully pausing in your attempts to leave now and staring at him with a bewildered expression, eyes shooting to the hallway and for a second you wondered if Heeseung was potentially listening in on your conversation considering you weren’t exactly whispering.

“Just don’t leave yet, okay?” Jake’s voice was soft and reassuring and your eyes dropped down to the way he was holding your arm for a second before you were nodding in confirmation.

He was letting out a relieved sigh and then disappeared down the hallway quickly, leaving you standing there awkwardly before you decided to go and sit on the couch. What he said hadn’t completely shocked you since you figured Heeseung didn’t have much experience due to his demeanor but you didn’t expect him to be at absolutely zero especially since he was definitely attractive and had at least one outgoing person in his social circle.

It was a few minutes before Jake was coming back down the hallway and searching the room for you, stopping for a beat when he saw you sitting uncomfortably on their couch.

Heeseung was trailing behind him and he somehow looked even more awkward than he had back in his bedroom, shoulders tensed and eyes set on the floor in front of him so he didn’t accidentally make eye contact with you. He only got more unnerved when Jake was sitting on one side of you, leaving him no choice but to sit on your right and sandwich you between them.

Neither of them were touching you but the air was heavy and you were feeling slightly anxious considering you didn’t exactly know them that well and you were sure why Jake had asked you to stay.

“Is somebody going to speak or are you just going to stare at me all night?” Your tone was snappy again and you uncomfortably shifted in your spot when Jake let out a small disappointed sigh even though you had a feeling it had more to do with his silent friend than your harshness.

“He really does like you.” His voice sounded more exhausted now like he was sick of having to repeat it and you looked at him for a few seconds before moving your stare towards Heeseung.

“You do?” Your tone was still on the colder side as you addressed him and his eyes widened for a beat before he was nodding in agreement. You were grateful he atleast could admit it even if he couldn’t say it outright but you were losing your patience for the weird game of telephone that was happening between the three of you. “Kissing isn’t that scary, all you had to do was ask.”

He didn’t say anything, not that you expected any different from him, but you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes slid over your face until he was looking behind you towards his friend.

You sighed softly even though the action spiked your curiosity, shifting so you were facing him on the couch with your back towards Jake, scooting towards the quiet boy so your knee was bumping into the side of his thigh. He swallowed harshly and you spotted a hint of red creeping back up his neck, only worsening when you were leaning closer to him and glancing at his parted lips. “Can I kiss you?”

He seemed startled but not at all by the fact his friend was still in the room, sitting on the same couch as you and watching the two of you intensely as you tried to navigate his silence. He was nodding softly but you could tell he was nervous, even more so when you were leaning forward to press against him and he stayed rigid.

You pecked his lips a few times softly, not able to do much else considering he wasn’t moving at all and you were two seconds from pulling away and abandoning the idea completely before Jake was speaking from behind you.

“Show him properly.” His tone was lower than you’d heard it before and you jumped slightly at the reminder that he was there, his voice closer than you remembered.

“What?” You were turning your body back around to be able to look at him but you paused when you saw the way he was looking at you, close enough now that if you completely turned your head your noses would have bumped into each other.

“That isn’t a kiss.” He was shaking his head just enough for it to be noticeable and his hair fell into his face more, blonde strands covering his eyes and making him look more disheveled than you’d seen him look before. You were offended for half a second and planning to explain to him why kissing Heeseung was almost impossible but you stopped when you realized he was staring down at your lips as they parted to speak.

He seemed to notice you’d stopped because of his gaze and he met your eyes for just a second before he was surging forward to kiss you.

You were only startled for a second before melting against him, leaning forward in his direction when you felt his hand gripping your chin almost harshly and keeping you in place as he moved against you. He was turning your head at an angle and you realized it was to give Heeseung better viewing access, forgetting all about it when Jake was slipping his tongue into your mouth.

He was the complete opposite of Heeseung in general but especially when it came to kissing and you barely had any time to process it, wet and sloppy as he squeezed your face again before pushing your head back so you weren’t touching anymore.

You watched him with a startled expression, slightly dazed from how out of nowhere this all seemed and the lingering feeling of his spit on your chin. You imagined you looked a bit stupid in that moment, eyes wide as you stared at him with slightly squished cheeks between his big hand. He didn’t seem to mind considering he was smiling softly at you for a second before turning your head so you were facing Heeseung again.

You’d almost completely forgotten about him and a wave of embarrassment and guilt washed over you until you realized he looked almost as affected as you did, staring at you intensely with red cheeks and low eyes.

Jake was nudging you in his direction wordlessly and you followed his silent command easily, leaning into Heeseung again and this time finally being able to kiss him properly. He still was amateurish and seemed a bit lost but seeing a direct example must have given him some direction considering he was atleast moving with you now, kissing you much slower and sweeter than how Jake was just a few seconds again.

It felt overly dirty to kiss two people back to back so quickly like this but it strangely sent a fire to your lower stomach instead of disgusting you, feeling the other boys presence and command behind your back even though he wasn’t touching you and hadn’t vocally said anything.

Heeseung was pulling away to take a breath, his glasses sliding down his nose, and you tried to catch your own but you didn’t have a chance considering Jake’s hand was gripping your chin again and turning you back towards him.

His mouth was on yours again and you let out a soft whine at the feeling of him sitting up slightly so he could push himself deeper against you, licking into your mouth so vulgarly that you couldn’t help the gasp that slipped from your mouth into his. Your chest was rising and falling quickly as you got overwhelmed between them, only getting faster when he was turning you softly so you were facing forward.

You were confused for a second before he was pulling off the kiss and grabbing just underneath your knee, pulling your left leg over his lap so you were spread wide open and facing the TV, head lolling back against the couch in a kiss drunk daze when his mouth was moving down your neck and biting down softly on your skin.

His hand was softly caressing your knee that was on top of his lap and you spread your legs more to try and get him to move it up slightly, not even realizing the movement was causing your other leg to be pushed against Heeseung’s frame until he was hesitantly touching the smooth skin of your thigh. He didn’t hitch it over his lap like his friend did but he was at least touching you finally and you gasped softly as you looked at him with hooded eyes.

He still seemed nervous and awkward but you watched a small wave of confidence come over him from your reaction, his hand large enough to cover a lot of your bare thigh and even accidentally hitch closer to your core once he started to rub it softly. You were letting out another small whine and impatiently lifting your hips to try and scoot further down the couch, purposely causing their hands to slide up your legs and finally touch you where you needed.

Heeseung moved his hand back down to your thigh swiftly but Jake stayed touching you under your skirt, a soft chuckle falling from his lips due to your neediness.

“Look at you.” He was speaking in a low tone against your neck and another shiver ran through you when you felt his breath on the side of your face, turning your head a bit so you could look at him as he spoke. “Spread open so nicely for us.”

The use of the word grouping him and Heeseung together didn’t miss you and neither did the dirty feeling it brought along with it, fully processing by now that you were being touched by two different set of hands and their spit was mixing together on your tongue. Your hips rolled on their own as he spoke so vulgarly, eyes shutting in pleasure when you felt his thumb shift closer to your core.

He didn’t waste any time and didn’t bother teasing you any further thankfully, shifting in his spot on the couch so he could watch your reaction even when he hand was sliding up your stomach and then back down inside of your panties, both of you pausing for a second when he made contact with the wetness dripping down your thighs now.

You let out a soft cry at the feeling of him touching you considering how sensitive you were and you didn’t care enough to be embarrassed of the fact you were seconds away from leaking onto their couch, hitching your legs up further to try and get him keep touching you where you needed him most.

Breath hitching next to you caught your attention and you glanced over lazily to see Heeseung staring down at where Jake’s hand had gone, eyes wide as he caught sight of what was happening and saw how wet you’d gotten just from kissing them both. He must’ve felt you staring because he was making eye contact with you seconds later, freezing up until your eyes were dropping down to his lips and a whine was slipping from your mouth again.

He thankfully got the message and he was taking a deep breath before leaning in to kiss you again, his hand on your thigh stilling as he put all of his focus on kissing you softly.

The contrast between him gently kissing you like you were fragile versus Jake roughly gripping your leg and keeping you spread open wide for him was making your head dizzy and you could barely keep up with Heeseung’s mouth. He didn’t seem to mind considering he continued to keep leaning into you and licking softly against your mouth, letting out small gasps and groans everytime you sucked on his tongue or wrapped it with yours.

“Fuck hyung she’s getting so wet from kissing you.” Jake sounded almost pained next to your ear and you wondered if it was from the feeling of your cunt or the sight of you and Heeseung sloppily kissing just a few inches from his face.

Heeseung ignored him but you felt his hand tighten against your thigh at his friends words, rolling your hips again at the feeling and moaning into the boys mouth when Jake’s fingers started to rub your sensitive clit in slow circles. Your hands were coming up to grip onto one of Heeseung’s shoulders, moaning sharply at the sensation and nearly losing your mind from the amount of pleasure you were receiving between them.

“Please please.” You were suddenly begging but you weren’t exactly sure who you were talking to or what you were asking, overwhelmed with desperation for both of them.

“What baby?” Jake was asking softly in your ear again but his tone was almost mocking, still rubbing you with his fingers and keeping your legs spread almost painfully wide. “Tell me what you want and we’ll give it to you.”

You thought for a few seconds the best you could through the haze, glancing at Heeseung for confirmation and watching as he eagerly nodded in agreement before softly squeezing your thigh again. You were opening your mouth to try and request moving further when you were cut off by the sound of fist pounding on the door.

All at once it hit you, the panic of possibly being caught in such a vulnerable position followed by the embarrassment and self disgust considering you were spread between two men that you didn’t know very well, wet around one of their fingers and practically begging for them to keep touching you. You felt like somebody had thrown a bucket of cold water at you and you were swiftly sitting up on the couch, smacking Jake’s hand away and fixing your skirt after he’d removed it.

He watched you for a second with panic in his eyes before the knocking resumed even louder, annoyance settling over his face as he let out a rough sigh and stood up off the couch to go and answer it.

Your hand was shakily coming up to cover your mouth and you tried your best to ignore the fact Heeseung was still sitting next to you, mouth wet from where you’d been desperately licking into the kiss. You could feel him shifting uncomfortably and you were worried he was planning to speak to you so you stood up and quickly rushed down the hallway towards the bathroom as you heard Jake start to greet the guest for the party you’d completely forgotten about.

——

You stayed in the bathroom for around forty minutes until you felt like it was less noticeable you had just been seconds away from getting fingered, waiting for the music to start playing and the sounds of people drinking and loosening up to overwhelm the loud pounding of your heart.

When you ventured back out into the main area you still felt just as embarrassed, being the only person who wasn’t mutual friends with somebody there. You were barely friends with Jake and Heeseung either and you suddenly felt like an intruder despite how intimate you’d all been together less than an hour ago.

You had a few drinks to try and calm your nerves but avoided making conversation with any of the boys friends, pretending you didn’t feel Jake continuously staring and checking on you throughout the night. Heeseung was nowhere to be found for the first hour but eventually you realized that he was hiding out in the corner by the speaker, taking sips out of a half empty cup and looking just as awkward as you felt despite the fact it was his party and these were his friends.

It must’ve been the past annoyance you felt towards his staring at the diner mixed with the alcohol starting to settle over you that drove you in his direction.

He tensed when he saw you steadily approaching but then his gaze was dropping down to your mouth and staying there.

“Stop staring at my lips.” You were spitting out at him and he flinched back at the tone of your voice, glancing around like he was checking to see if anybody had heard you. “Do you guys do this type of shit all the time?”

“W-what? What are you talking about?” He was speaking louder than normal so you could hear him over the music and leaning forward to hear you before deciding against it and pressing back into the corner. His eyebrows were pulled forward in confusion and another wave of annoyance washed over you, this time at yourself for finding him extra cute considering he was almost pouting down at you.

“Find a girl you like and pretend like you don’t have any experience so she fucks you and your friend.” You delivery was sharp and deadpanned like you were overly confident in your discovery but you knew that wasn’t what was happening here exactly, just saying anything to try and hurt him since you were feeling embarrassed.

“How could you say that?” His tone was still soft like it always was but you could tell he was offended by your accusation, pausing and looking over your shoulder so quickly you didn’t even realize it.

You were forced to in a second however when you could feel somebody approaching from behind you, already knowing who it was despite not realizing how loud and heated your conversation with Heeseung had just gotten until you turned your head to see the concerned expression on Jake’s face as he stopped a few inches away from the two of you. “What happened?”

Nobody said anything for a few beats and your jaw clenched with irritation, crossing your arms and feeling embarrassed again now that the two of them were with you. “She thinks we lied and used her.” Heeseung was butting in to explain awkwardly and you shifted uncomfortably when Jake’s surprised gaze shot over to you.

He didn’t immediately move to deny it but you could tell by his expression that he was taken off guard by the fact you were feeling that way, glancing down at your crossed arms under your chest before his gaze was softening and he started to shake his head in denial. You knew by now that you’d been wrong and they weren’t using you but you were too far into your bratty fit to completely backtrack.

Jake’s big hands were coming back up to your arms again like they had earlier when he was stopping you from leaving and your breath hitched when you looked at his fingers, a heat rolling over you at the lingering feeling of him rubbing you slowly under your skirt.

He had originally planned to defend himself and Heeseung but when he noticed your dazed out expression and wandering gaze, he paused and a smirk built back up on his face.

You let him tug you forward by your arms and spin you around softly, facing you towards Heeseung who looked extremely confused by what was happening considering you’d just been bitching him out harshly only a few seconds ago. He watched as his friends hands wrapped around your stomach and pinned your back against his front, staying still against the wall even when Jake was softly moving the both of you to the music and the tension left your shoulders.

“You feel used?” He was whispering in your ear and a breath escaped you, head falling back to land on his shoulder from the pleasure of him rubbing against you. “We aren’t using you but… something tells me you wouldn’t mind.”

The two of you were facing Heeseung which meant your backs were turned towards the party and other guest but it still felt extremely dangerous to be dancing like this, especially when his hand was sliding down your stomach and pushing under the waistline of your skirt. You faltered in place and would’ve tipped forward and fallen if it wasn’t for Heeseung instinctively stepping off the wall and catching you against him.

He tensed along with you considering he was now flush against your front and his hands were holding your hips softly to help steady you.

He was making the move to take a few steps back towards the wall but stopped when your hands were reaching forward to grab onto his shoulders, keeping him pressed against you and titling back again so you could feel Jake on your back. You were completely sandwiched between them now and a small whine slipped out of you when you felt the bolder boys fingers softly rubbing your clit through your underwear.

“Watch her hyung, so filthy for us even when she’s upset.” Heeseung seemed thrown off by being so directly addressed but he followed orders easily, staring down at you intensely and turning red in the face at the way you struggled to keep your eyes open.

You knew he was a lot bigger than both you and Jake but the difference was especially noticeable now that you were all pressed together, towering over the two of you and completely shielding your body from the view of people passing by as his friend continued to touch you.

“Kiss her Hee, I wanna see how wet she can get.” His voice was low and almost a groan and you felt his hips moving again behind you, rubbing his hardness against your back and impatiently rolling up your skirt more so he could drag himself along your folds without the second layer of fabric in the way.

It took him a second but Heeseung eventually listened, leaning down to kiss you now that you were standing and it felt particularly dirty to be meeting his lips in this position. You gasped into his mouth when Jake harshly pinched your sensitive bud, giving him the opportunity to lick into your open lips and stick his tongue deeper than he had earlier.

You were quickly learning that he was an extremely dirty kisser and he almost seemed feverish the longer he felt you against him, momentarily losing his shy demeanor and becoming completely addicted to kissing you so messily. You were turning your head so you could suck his tongue further into his mouth and a wave of satisfaction hit you when he was whining softly and bucking his hips forward, both sending you further into Jake and letting you feel his own hardness.

Jake’s finger was slipping inside you as you practically let his friend fuck your mouth with his tongue, wetness dripping down your thigh and crying out softly at the feeling of his thick digit finally pushing into you.

You were standing onto your tiptoes and dropping back down to try to get him to fuck you with his fingers but he was roughly groping your chest as a warning to stop, biting against your neck softly and moving his hand under your chin. He wasn’t exactly choking you but the feeling of his large hand completely covering your throat brought out another whine that Heeseung quickly swallowed.

“Fuck Y/N you’d let us take you right here wouldn’t you?” His voice was breathy and he rubbed himself against you again in sync with the assault his fingers continued. “Have you taken two cocks before baby or would we have to force them inside?”

You were shaking your head and clawing at Heeseung’s shoulders absentmindedly, breathy moans falling from your lips and stopping you from being able to kiss properly. He took the hint and pulled back to let you speak clearly but his eyes stayed on your wet lips and chin. “Have to force it Jake, would be so tight you wouldn’t fit.”

“Is that what you want angel? You want both of us inside you, fucking your greedy hole so loose.” He was panting as he spoke and you could feel tears coming to your eyes from the speed of his fingers inside you.

His hand on your neck was squeezing tightly for a second and taking your breath from you before he was moving it up to roughly grip your chin, tugging your head straight so you had no choice but to stare up at Heeseung who was watching the two of you with a wild expression, face completely red and glasses slightly skewed from your intense kissing. “Look at him and say it.”

You shook your head for a second and winced, feeling overwhelmingly shy for some reason now that you were looking at the less forward boy despite the fact you were still pressed against him and could feel that he was also hard against your stomach. You could still taste him in your mouth even but you weren’t able to bring yourself to say it right away, snapping back out of it when Jake lifted his hand to lightly slap your cheek in warning.

“I want you.” You were staring up at him as you rushed it out in an embarrassed mumble, your cheeks heating up more but feeling the familiar twist in your stomach when his eyes flashed with something you hadn’t seen before. “Want you both.”

Heeseung was moving forward before you could even process it and suddenly you were kissing again, his big hands coming up to cup your face softly and keep you against him as he fully soaked you in.

You were getting needy and impatient, Jake’s thick fingers not being enough considering the amount of touching and overstimulation you were getting between the two of them. You almost wanted to cry thinking about the party happening behind you, wanting nothing more than to be alone so you could completely give yourself over to the two boys.

It was beyond dirty and completely unlike you considering you weren’t a big fan of hookups in general, never even considering letting two people share you at once, but you’d never craved something so badly and you felt like you’d nearly die if you didn’t get to feel them soon.

Heeseung was pulling off the kiss and watching you as he took deep breaths, eyes frantic and continuously glancing between the way you were panting against Jake’s shoulder and his friends expression as he pushed his fingers deeper inside you.

“Jake, make them leave.” He was muttering quickly and your eyes widened in surprise for a second hearing him speak so directly, a similar reaction happening behind you considering Jake’s hands were stuttering for a second.

They had some sort of silent communication over your shoulder that didn’t take long for you to understand considering Jake was taking his hand out of your skirt and softly leaning you onto Heeseung’s tall frame. You could feel his lips pressing against the side of your head before he was backing up to presumably tell the guest to leave.

Heeseung was awkwardly holding you for a second and you felt slight whiplash from his change of demeanor again, happy when he at least started to move and take you back down to his bedroom.

He was gently laying you on the bed and sitting back up on his knees to watch you for a second, scanning down your body as your chest continued to roughly rise and fall from your near orgasm just a few seconds ago. He was looking more hesitate now like he had originally and your gaze softened as you looked at him watching you so intensely, remembering this was his first time doing something so intense.

Your hand was coming out to grab onto his and he was freezing from his position beside you, kneeling on the bed and towering over you but not looking the least bit intimidating.

“Please touch me Hee.” Your voice was still coming out in a whine, desperately tugging on his hand to try to get him to fulfill your request. His eyes widened at your tone and he glanced down at your hand over his before shaking his head softly, stuttering out something you couldn’t understand. “Please baby please, I’ll show you how but I can’t wait.”

“F-fuck we should really let Jake come back, I won’t be any good.” He was shaking his head again but not moving his hand away when you were lifting it and placing it against your stomach, your muscles clenching under his warm skin and a heavy breath slipping from your lips.

Heeseung watched you with wide eyes as you pushed his hand under your skirt, struggling a bit and whining softly considering he wasn’t helping at all. You released his hand for a second and thankfully he didn’t remove it from your stomach, giving you the chance to unbutton it and pull it down your legs so he could have more access.

You were holding his wrist softly and moving him back down towards your underwear, back arching up off the bed in a small cry when he was finally touching you over the fabric and you heard his breath catch in his throat when he felt your wetness soaking the material.

“You’re s-so good please Hee please.” You were crying out softly and rocking your hips up against his hand, a handful of tears slipping from your eyes considering you were so overwhelmed and he still wasn’t really touching you. “Fuck you’re so big.”

The last comment slipped out accidentally, completely distracted by the fact his hand almost covered the entirety of your cunt, but it seemed like he liked it considering he was shifting on the bed and finally applying some pressure to you.

A low moan sounded through the room and it took you a second to even realize it was coming from you, his fingers soft and inexperienced as he started rubbing you and you felt him tense when your wet panties were sliding to the side and he was touching your bare cunt for the first time. Your hands were instinctively coming up to hug his arm and try to tug him down towards you, grateful when he shifted so he was laying beside you and not kneeling anymore.

He kept his fingers on you even when you were pulling him in for a messy kiss, gliding your tongue over his lips and moaning into his open mouth when his fingers slipped again and applied more pressure.

You didn’t realize Jake had entered the room even after the bed dipped down under his weight, only snapping out of your haze when Heeseung removed his lips from yours so he could stutter out an apology to his friend. You were sitting up slightly to look at him and a whine left you automatically seeing how dark his gaze was as he watched you desperately moving against his friends hand.

“She’s as much yours as she is mine.” He was dismissing the other boys apology in a curt statement but it made your head spin, the implication of them both owning you together sending another wave of heat through you and another sob hit you. “Hyung, hold her legs open for me.”

Heeseung was pausing like he was trying to figure out how to do that, eventually scooting behind you so he could tug you up between his legs. You were resting against his chest and stomach, elbows on his thighs and you could feel how hard he was pressed tight to your lower back. He moved you easily, like you barely weighed anything and his size made you ten times wetter than you had been before.

You felt extra exposed now that his hands weren’t covering you, embarrassment coming back when he was hitching up your knees so he could spread your legs and completely expose you to Jake who was watching the two of you curiously.

“Look how messy she is. She must really like you hyung.” He was smiling at the two of you but it didn’t meet his eyes fully, something darker and more intense behind his expression and you tried not to feel too intimidated when he was moving closer to you on the bed.

He watched you for a second more before he was pressing a kiss against your knee, moving his lips down your right thigh and pausing for just a second before he was putting his mouth on your wet core. A gasp flew out of you and you would’ve clamped his head in your thighs if it wasn’t for Heeseung’s hand gripping your knee tightly and keeping them spread open.

“Fuck fuck.” Your hips were instinctively moving with Jake’s mouth, practically making out with your dripping pussy and you were once again overwhelmed in a way you’d never experienced before. Heeseung was softly brushing your hair out of your face with his free hand but you barely even noticed, the room filling up with the sounds of Jake’s mouth on you.

His tongue was pushing past your folds and prodding at your entrance, drawing another low whine from you when he was glancing up at you from between your legs. His eyes were mischievous and you could barely hold the eye contact for more than a few seconds, leaning back against Heeseung’s chest and gripping his arm for support.

“Take her top off.” He was pulling off of you to speak to the boy behind you and your eyes locked on your wetness coating his chin, his lips quirking into a smirk when he noticed what you were focusing on before he was softly kissing your thigh again.

Heeseung easily sat you up, almost rough in the way he was moving you so weightlessly if it wasn’t for how gentle his hands were. He was pulling your top off and fixing your hair before pausing and you felt his hips twitch from underneath you, figuring he just be looking at your bare chest. You knew he wouldn’t move on his own so you didn’t bother waiting, taking his free hand that wasn’t on your knee and forcing him to roughly pull at your chest.

Jake was smiling at your neediness before going back between your legs, the pleasure from his mouth paired with Heeseung’s hands on your chest and nipples was almost too much and you only lasted about thirty seconds before you were roughly tugging on the younger boys hair to warn him to stop.

He froze completely and looked up at you, beautiful between your legs and even more so with the concern in his gaze. He quickly realized what you were needing however and he lost the soft expression.

“Sure you can take us both?” He was asking as he sat up on his knees, looping his hands under your thighs and tugging you forward so you were sliding closer to him on the bed. Your head was on Heeseung’s lap now and he let out a soft whine when you were instinctively nuzzling against the hardness in his pants, your cheek pressing on him.

You didn’t bother with verbally answering him considering how dizzy you felt, knowing your voice would just come out slurred and weak, but you spread your legs more in front of him so he could fully get the memo. His eyes were darkening more before he was gesturing something you couldn’t understand to the boy behind you, a cry coming from your lips when he was shifting and moving away from you.

“Be patient sweet girl, he’s just moving down here.” Jake’s voice was coming through again and a pout formed on your face instinctively at his soft tone, getting close to release twice now without finishing and feeling overly sensitive and needy. “She’s pretty isnt she?”

You were confused for a second about who he was talking to until you realized Heeseung was down by the end of the bed now, fully seeing you for the first time since he’d undressed you and staring at your body with widened eyes. They flickered up to yours when he realized you were watching and waiting for a response.

“So pretty, she’s so pretty.” His voice was weak and Jake laughed softly at the taken tone his friend had, nodding in agreement before he was shifting again.

“Gonna fuck you first alright baby? Get you nice and ready for hyung.” His voice was dropping lower and getting more serious, tugging his shirt over his head and barely giving you a second to process anything before he was undoing his belt with one hand, holding your legs open with the other.

“Both I want both.” You were whining out in disagreement, a small sob hitting you again at the thought of not being stretched by both of them together.

Jake paused for a second before he was glancing to his side towards Heeseung, waiting and having some silent communication together until he was turning back towards you and nodding. “You’ll get us both don’t worry, still need to stretch you first.”

You were almost worried he’d go back to using his fingers, as much as you liked them inside you you were starting to think you’d die if you didn’t have something bigger in the next few seconds. Thankfully he seemed to be feeling the same considering he was wasting no time before lining himself up with your entrance, kissing your forehead quickly before pushing inside you.

Your breath caught in your throat and your back arched off the bed instinctively, bunching the sheets up in a tight fist and you wished Heeseung was close enough to hold onto. You didn’t get a chance to look at Jake’s size but he was clearly bigger than you had planned for considering the stretch you were feeling just from his thick tip inside you, a pained cry filling the room at the same time he hissed in pleasure.

“Fuck Y/N, how are you so fucking tight.” He was speaking through clenched teeth and his head dropped down onto your shoulder, shutting his eyes to try and calm down before he came too early. “Baby you’ve got to stop clenching around me or I won’t last.”

“You’re hurting her Jake.” Heeseung’s concerned voice was coming from the right and you glanced over at him, face pulled into a grimace still but softening slightly at the worry on his face.

It made you feel better that he was more concerned with your pleasure than potentially not being able to fuck you but you almost sobbed again at the thought of not getting to feel him tonight and you quickly started to shake your head and reach a hand out towards him.

“Can take it, I can take it I promise.” You didn’t need to say much for Jake to believe you considering he was using your distraction as the perfect time to fully push his length inside you.

Your hands were wrapping around his back to claw at his skin, somehow not noticing how broad he was until he was on top of you like this but you felt the familiar heat of pleasure finally resurfacing below the pain and you practically whimpered at the boy. “Please fuck me, please I need it.”

He was kissing your lips gently before taking a second to adjust his position, meeting your eyes and then pulling himself nearly all the way out of you. The previous stretch did almost nothing to prepare you for the feeling of him slamming back inside you, never feeling so stuffed before and almost getting lightheaded from how full of his cock you were. You couldn’t imagine fitting more inside you but you glanced back at Heeseung and another wave of desperation hit.

Jake let out a low growl before he was aggressively lifting you up off the bed, holding you still in his lap for a moment with a slow buck of his hips to keep you moaning and whining and you vaguely heard him barking an order towards the other boy.

You didn’t fully understand what was happening, rocking your hips and riding Jake lazily with continued cries and begs for him to lay you back down and fuck you properly. When he was finally listening and laying you back down on the bed, this time Heeseung was behind you and a breath of relief escaped you.

Part of you felt guilty that his first time wasn’t necessarily romantic or intimate but it was hard to think about when he started to push his cock into you alongside Jake’s, the stretch almost unbearable and you heard Jake spit out something else you couldn’t make out.

You assumed he was telling the inexperienced boy to stop because he froze up underneath you and laid his forehead on sweaty shoulder, small whimpers vibrating your skin as he tried to stop himself from either pushing all the way inside before you were ready or cumming from the tight and wet squeeze.

“Fuck she’s so wet.” His voice behind you was making you dizzy, taking on a deeper tone you hadn’t heard from him before and you reached a hand back just to feel any part of his skin.

The two boys helped lower you back onto their cocks and you nearly blacked out from how deep they were inside you, the pleasure multiplied by the fact they were both sharing your hole together and you were finally going to be fucked open by them.

“Gonna ruin this pussy for anyone else.” Jake was whispering it into your mouth and you watched him with widened eyes, shivering when he was licking against your tongue sloppily before tugging your head back by your hair so you were resting against Heeseung’s shoulder. “Always gonna need two cocks filling this nasty hole up, never going to be satisfied with just one again.”

“Please.” You were gasping the word out in one breath, repeating it a few times in a slurred fit of begging before trying to gather as much energy as you could to lift yourself up and down on their cocks. You failed and fell back down on shaky thighs, crying softly and rolling your hips slightly. “Fuck me please fuck me, ruin me. I want to be yours.”

That seemed to cause something to snap in the boy in front of you and he wasted no more time, aggressively fucking himself inside you and at the same time lifting you up a bit so you were coming back down onto Heeseung’s cock too, helping the other boy set a steady rhythm considering he was already close just from the foreplay you’d had earlier since he was particularly sensitive.

“You’re ours, gonna fucking ruin you.” Jake was talking continuously into your shoulder but you were barely able to hear him after a few seconds, lost in the feeling of the stretch and how deep they were inside you. Both boys were caging you in and someone’s hands were roughly playing with your nipples, anothers tugging your hair and it was all so much you hardly felt like you were able to breathe.

You were a mess of skin and lust, your whines mixing with a combination of their low moans and you were suddenly very grateful they’d cleared out the apartment so you didn’t have to worry about biting your tongue.

Heeseung was reaching forward to press down on your stomach and you heard a groan slip out of him. “Fuck dude, I can feel us inside her.”

That seemed to be enough for him considering he was sucking in a sharp breath, worrying you for a second before you realized he was cumming inside you. You were upset for half a second before you thought about both of them filling you up with their cum, mixing together and leaking out of your used hole onto Heeseung’s bed.

“Cum inside Jake.” You were begging him and he gave you a bewildered look, almost seeming like he was going to disagree until he leaned back and saw the absolute desperation and need on your face. His jaw clenched and he was fucking you even rougher, barely noticing his friend slipping out of you and helping you rock against Jake since you were both exhausted.

He was rushing forward to kiss you and your teeth clashed, drunk from the taste of his spit in your mouth and his cock slamming into you even after he was coming undone and filling you up even more. Heeseung’s hands were slipping between you and Jake to rub your clit softly and surge of pride hit you, moaning into Jake’s mouth and letting him suck your tongue into it.

The extra stimulation was all you needed to fall apart and both boys held you between them as your hips twitched and your stomach clenched in pleasure, feeling Jake slip out of you so he could watch the way your hole clenched around nothing and started to leak with the mess the three of you had caused.

You were too exhausted to feel awkward even though now that they weren’t stuffing you so full you couldn’t think, you were slightly humiliated and feeling a bit dirty from how sweaty you were between the two friends.

All it took was a hand from behind you gently rubbing your stomach and a soft kiss on your forehead from the other boy to calm your nerves, falling back onto the bed together in a mess of limbs and nervous giggles.

[taradactyls]

The full Bennet Family Finances endnote from Ch33

I’ve been doing some more maths (ch26 has the initial discussion) on the savings that our characters might do/should’ve done since it’s fascinating to me and some of the comments I’ve been getting have been making me think more about it. One of the common themes is surprise at just how negligent the Bennets were at saving, instead of merely being stretched thin by expenses. I understand this completely, as it isn’t something that’s explicit in an easily recognisable way for modern audiences.

So, where could they have been more economical? They don’t go to London, no one has a gambling addiction, all travelling (which was EXPENSIVE) is done cost effectively, and they certainly didn’t spend all the money on tutors and the like for their daughters. I’m sure there’s actual academic papers by historians on this (I miss my uni access to those so much) but I can take some educated guesses.

We know Mrs Bennet is just bad with household management. Part of which might mean ordering too much food (it’s mentioned she keeps a good table, so this is as close to canon as we can get) and perhaps not being efficient with what she does order, ie wanting different meats from night to night, instead of having the leftovers served as stews or whatnot, not keeping an eye on the prices of sugar, salt, etc to buy when they’re cheap, making special orders instead of purchasing what’s readily available, etc. We know none of the Bennet women assist in the kitchen (as the Lucases do) so that’s more work for servants and thus likely to contribute to the need of an extra servant or higher wages. Household management could also be more innocuous things like always buying the expensive bees-wax candles, instead of using tallow when guests aren’t around or in out-of-the-way rooms. And being inefficient with candle usage (this is likely a Mr Bennet flaw too, if he enjoys reading in his library at night) in order to have a room better lit than strictly necessary. There was a reason families all tended to gather in one room after dark, and the Bennets notably don’t. Also having fires in all the principal rooms instead of just the ones likely to be used that day. If there’s ways to be inefficient with funds when it comes to cleaning, I’m sure they found a way there, too. Basically, anything that requires forward planning to help with economy would be lacking.

 But that’s all ‘essentials’ just done inefficiently, what luxuries might they have had? They have the income to warrant their carriage, horses, and it seems Mr Bennet does hunt, but that’s also a standard expense for his wealth, so let’s focus on what might be pushing them to their limits. Other than the over-provisioned dining table, which we’ve mentioned, nothing about their socialising habits seems excessive. Mrs Bennet’s love of fashion could be pushing her wardrobe bill up, Mr Bennet’s love of books could be a VERY expensive hobby, and of course – five daughters out at once. Having five daughters out (especially unnecessarily as Lydia and even Kitty were quite young to be out) cost a LOT of money. Lady Catherine was rude as anything, but her surprise at the fact was warranted. Other than money, it also meant the daughters were in direct ‘competition’ for the same limited amount of suitors, which theoretically might hurt the elder girls’ chances. Five distinct wardrobes for young women which needed gowns for all occasions, going through dance shoes and gloves very quickly, bonnets, etc, all added up. At the start of the book multiple hundreds of pounds a year would be going to keeping their daughters looking the part while mixing in society.

But Jane’s only twenty-one or twenty-two at the start of the novel, and came out at fifteen at the earliest. Yet the Bennets still never saved money, and never overspent their income, so there were other expenses they were able to drop which had been preventing them from saving money for the first sixteen or so years of their marriage. I think it’s fair to assume there’s random, one-time bigger expenses that were undertaken with any substantial spare money: perhaps the hermitage Mrs Bennet mentions is a newer addition, was the coach (which are normally ordered around the start of a marriage) refitted more recently, how often is the décor of Longbourn updated (and on that note, are things like the sofa reupholstered or completely replaced), do they impulse buy vases and sculptures, make sure whatever alcohol they do buy (which appears to be a reasonable amount for their class) is the expensive stuff, etc. Whatever it is, it’s a both parent problem. Mrs Bennet is bad at money management and instead of changing her habits or preparing her daughters for financial hardship puts pressure on them to marry (preferably rich, but she doesn’t seem to have a complaint about Wickham in that regard). Mr Bennet is smart enough to see that there is a problem and how to fix it, but after his first idea fails (have a son to break the entail and thus provide for his widow and other children – which doesn’t even necessarily mean the girls would get a dowry, just that they would never live in poverty) does nothing to reassess the issue or find a solution. He essentially shrugs his shoulders and lets his daughters shift for themselves. One parent is too stressed about money and only addresses it negatively, and the other isn’t stressed enough and doesn’t address it seriously at all. Neither do anything productive, even though changing their habits would be enough to fix it. I love them, but MASSIVE parenting failure on their end; and hinted to occur because the parents were too used to comforts and different themselves to be able to work together and act on a solution.

Now for some actual MATHS! Which, yes, I realise I am strangely excited about.

The idea that most of the Bennets’ money is spent by having so many daughters out at once seems to keep popping up in my time on the internet. So, I thought it would be interesting to see what their dowries could be if that five-daughters-out-at-once money wasn’t spent on other things before any daughters were out. Costs of this could vary a bit between families, and though we know Lydia’s expenses were almost £100 per annum that includes board and food as well as little gifts from Mrs Bennet, so we can’t simply multiply that by five and be done with it. But, given Mrs Bennet’s desire for fashion and the poor financial management we see from her and some of her daughters, it’s quite possible clothes were being bought new rather than pulled apart and remade more than they ought to be, so spending £50 to £60 a year on each daughter being ‘out’ seems reasonable. For the purposes of this, let’s look at a total of £250 and £300 a year for all five, and in the 4%s because that’s where the money settled on Mrs Bennet apparently is. After sixteen years of marriage (when we will assume Jane comes out) that’s £5,456 or £6,547. Meaning that just doubled their dowry, even if they save nothing else after that. If the interest is left alone, that’s more than £1,000 that’s added to it before the novel even begins. Suddenly Mr Bennet dying at the start of the novel would leave his widow and daughters with between £11,500-£13,000 instead of the meagre £5,000 they actually have.

And the girls didn’t all come out at once, so just to put some numbers to it for math purposes, let’s say Elizabeth came out one year after Jane, Mary two years after her, Kitty another two years later, and Lydia the following year. For simplicity, each girl coming out is going to remove the same amount of money (when realistically it’s likely Jane, who needs everything new, and Lydia, who’s spoilt, would have cost the most). With the lower estimates of expenses, that’s £8,062 saved at the time of the novel, taking the total for Mrs Bennet and the girls to £13,602 or £2,612 each, assuming nothing else is saved. At the higher cost for the girls being out, that’s £9,676 saved and £14,676 that they’ll eventually inherit a share of. Still below what they should have as dowries, but a vast improvement, and proof of why having five daughters out at once was an additional strain but not THE strain. It was just another element in a mountain of problems.

“But what if it was in the 5%s?” asks no one but me. I think they would stick to the more stable bonds Mrs Bennet’s dowry is in, but if they didn’t, the same situation as above would save £9,243 (or £14,243 total) or £11,090 (£16,090 to share or £3,218 each).

For pure funsies, the numbers if Mr and Mrs Bennet had also saved the interest of the £5,000 settled upon her (which by itself would grow to £12,324 in the 4%s) in addition to these savings are:

£20,387 (£4,077 each at the start of the novel) with the £250 expenses estimate. At £300 for all five daughters out, we get to £21,998. Both of these numbers suddenly mean the Miss Bennets would never have to fear poverty when Mr Bennet died and they would individually each be as rich as their mother was, and though they wouldn’t be counted as rich themselves, would at least have something respectable. They might not cost their husbands money to marry.

AND THEN if everything is in the 5%s but that original £5,000, and the interest it gains is also moved to the higher interest account, the grand total would be either £22,528, again assuming the £250 expenses, and £24,376 at the £300 estimate.

I’ve been doing some equations for Darcy, too. So, let’s talk about that next chapter, to give me time to really figure it out.

[heavenlyvision]

Why are you sorry?

This is a second part to Truth or Dare with Kung Lao, read that part ˗ˏˋhereˎˊ˗

Word count: 12.8k

Pairing: Raiden x F!Reader

A/N: It is done! It's a bit longer than I had planned for it to be but not by much <3 hopefully you all enjoy :) if it's not quite comprehensive, it's because I am listening to Hozier's new ep while editing and I maybe was not paying as much attention as I should have been :3

Summary: Things in the house are tense when Raiden finds out about your night with Kung Lao but even more than that, you are confused on how you're feeling about both your roommates.

Warning: 18+ only, smut, praise kink, fingering, minor handjob, spit as lube, p in v sex, multiple orgasms, squirting, big dick raiden lol, no use of y/n !!

MDNI | SMUT UNDER CUT

Not much at all has changed since what happened between you and Kung Lao, he’s been more affectionate? You guess, or more openly touchy but he doesn’t cross any lines and you haven’t even kissed since that day. You’re a little bit confused on what you’re meant to do now, should you ask him what you mean to each other or are you reading into things too much? Was it just a one-time thing? But then why did he say to only sleep with him?

Being casual is not something you’ve ever done before and you aren’t even sure if that’s what you are doing. You’ve been too scared to ask because you don’t even know what you want from him… you’re just worried about your friendship. Things have been mostly the same though, as in, it’s not awkward, you’ve both just gone back to how things were.

It’s the weekend and you’re playing a game of cards, ‘bullshit’ to be precise, you wanted to play scrabble – naturally – but both Raiden and Kung Lao outright refused to play with you. It was mean, this is the only time they ever gang up on you, well this and your wellbeing. Whatever, you’re more upset about being denied a scrabble game, Kung Lao played one game with you after you deleted the shy strangers phone number and cancelled your date with him but he hasn’t agreed to a game since and you feel slighted.

Pushing your thoughts to the side you glare at Raiden; he’s glaring back at you over the top of his cards. Moving slowly, he places two on the pile in the middle, “Two… queens,” he raises a brow at you.

You can’t tell if he’s lying or not but you’re too scared to call him either way, considering you currently hold a hefty amount of the deck in your hands, sighing you place three cards down, “Three kings,” both Raiden and Kung Lao share a look but ultimately don’t call you on it.

Kung Lao’s smile twitches slightly, “Three aces,” he boldly claims, placing his last three cards onto the table.

You squint at him and then laugh slightly, “Bullshit!”

“Wha– how did you know?” He exclaims

Raiden shakes his head at his stupidity, lightly snorting at the scene.

You fully laugh at him now, “I have all four aces, dunce, pick up the damn deck!”

Kung Lao groans dramatically, “Ugh, this is no fair when you have… every card ever,” he complains, picking up the cards on the table.

“Use your brain some more and you could’ve ended the game,” you smile at him.

“Whatever,” he rolls his eyes, “Raiden, carry on,” he huffs.

Raiden eyes his hand for a sec before placing two, “Two threes.”

The game continues around for a bit, mostly it’s just you and Kung Lao stopping Raiden from winning, he tries to bullshit but since both of you have a large chunk of the deck it’s proving to be a little difficult. This game is better played with a few more people. Both your hands start dwindling though and it’s all becoming muddled as the deck is split more and more. You’re losing track of what you’ve lied about at this point but you’ve somehow gotten yourself down to two cards and they’re a pair, they’re just not the pair you need right now.

Luckily for you, Kung Lao calls Raiden on his two fours, a risky move, considering the pile on the table has grown very large, “Bullshit.”

Raiden smiles at Kung Lao, “Have a look.”

Kung Lao is already groaning in annoyance as he flips the cards over to see, he was in fact, not bullshitting, “How are you good at like, every game we play, this sucks,” he grumbles to himself as he picks up the cards on the table.

It’s your turn now and you place both your cards down, “Two fives, I win,” you smile victoriously.

“Uh uh, not so fast, I call bullshit,” Kung Lao points at you.

You raise a brow at him, lips quirked up in a very self-satisfied way, “Check?” He squints at you and flips the cards, the cards that are in fact, a pair of fives. Kung Lao’s head falls to the table in defeat and Raiden starts laughing, hard. “Should’ve trusted me,” you shrug simply.

“This is crap,” Kung Lao laments, head still planted on the table.

You elbow his ribs, “Bullshit even?”

“You have too many trust issues, Kung Lao,” Raiden chastises him.

Kung Lao ignores him and continues wallowing in his shameful loss, “Just a few rounds ago… I was going to win…”

“…But you didn’t, because you suck,” you snicker at him.

He turns his head to the side to look at you, “That is just plain mean.”

The pair of you look at each other for a bit, apparently in a suspicious way because it prompts Raiden to state, “Something has happened between you two, something has changed.”

“What?” You question, taken aback.

Kung Lao denies, “Nothing has changed.”

“That wasn’t a question, I was stating. Something has changed, what was it?” Raiden scrutinises the both of you, looking back and forth between you.

You feel shy under his eyes and look away, you’d prefer he didn’t know that you slept with Kung Lao, you aren’t sure why but it hurts. You don’t regret sleeping with Kung Lao but you also feel like… you don’t want Raiden to know about it.

Kung Lao doesn’t shy away from Raiden, in fact, he looks proud of whatever he may or may not have done.

Raiden takes a moment to assess you both closely and then concludes, “You slept together.”

You go to deny, “No!”

“Yes,” Kung Lao confirms, and you pinch his side, “Ow, what was that for, he already figured it out.”

Raiden pinches the bridge of his nose, “When… when was it?”

“Couple weeks ago,” Kung Lao shrugs easily, no guilt at all, or if there is, he’s hiding it well.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Raiden asks, “Is it going to happen again?”

You answer, “I… don’t know–”

“–Probably,” is Kung Lao’s answer.

You shoot him a look from the corner of your eye and he looks blasé, not really understanding why you’re so uncomfortable or guilt ridden.

Kung Lao leans back in his chair and stretches, “Is it such a big deal?”

“I cannot say I am overjoyed at the news,” Raiden closes his eyes, thinking for a moment.

“Raiden… we’re sorry,” you try apologising.

“Speak for yourself, I am sorry for nothing, best lay of my life,” Kung Lao interjects.

Smacking him you say, “Ew, don’t be crass.”

Kung Lao adds smugly, “You didn’t seem to mind when–”

“–I am going to my room,” Raiden sighs, moving away from the table and heading back to his bedroom.

You feel… so bad for Raiden, sighing you look at Kung Lao, “What the hell? Can’t you see he’s obviously upset at us?”

“Yeah and I don’t get why, it was just sex,” he shrugs back.

“Just sex?” you clarify.

His brows pull together inquisitively, “…Really good sex?”

“You’re a dick,” you shake your head solemnly, angrily packing the cards away before heading back to your room too.

Kung Lao sits at the table, confused as to what the hell just happened.

𝜗𝜚

When you wake up in the morning, you can hear Kung Lao and Raiden thumping around in the kitchen. Their voices are muffled but you can tell they are not happy with each other, their voices are raised but hushed, the walls between your room and the kitchen also dilute the sound. Getting out of bed, you walk towards them, catching the tail end of their argument.

Kung Lao groans, “Ugh, Raiden! It was just sex, why are you so annoyed at us?”

Hearing him say that again, makes your heart pang and your footsteps slow, taking your time in getting to the kitchen.

Raiden is silent for a moment, assumedly glaring at him, “Would you be so nonchalant if she and I had slept together?”

Kung Lao stands there idly, his expression showing that, no, he would not be so relaxed about it.

“Exactly,” Raiden sighs, turning back to the sink, scrubbing at the dishes.

Something clicks for Kung Lao in that moment though and he frowns as he has his silent realisation about Raiden, watching him impatiently and trying to think of something to say.

Moving closer to the kitchen, you lean against the archway and ask, “Why are you both arguing so early in the morning?”

“It is nothing, do not worry about it,” Raiden dismisses, his focus on the dish he’s cleaning.

Kung Lao shakes his head before gesturing to you, “No, well let’s see, would you be upset if you were in his position?”

“Would I be upset if you two slept together?” You snicker at him.

He frowns and looks at you straight on, “Come on, you know what I meant.”

“Sorry, sorry,” you wave a hand at him and walk into the kitchen, sitting on one of the counters, “But yeah, I probably might be, we’re not just all friends, we’re also roommates, it makes the situation a bit uncomfortable, no?” sighing, you roll your neck and add, “I told you at the time… it might end up being a bad idea.”

Kung Lao also sighs, knowing you’re right, he turns back to Raiden, “I do not know what you want us to do to make this better.”

Raiden ignores him, seemingly done with talking.

You go to lighten the mood, offering, “Well… I could always sleep with Raiden and make it even.”

“What? No! That is not what I–” Kung Lao’s words are frantic.

Raiden turns to face the pair of you, “–Well, why not? She slept with you and I thought it was ‘just sex’,” he throws Kung Lao’s words back in his face and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t bring you a little sense of joy.

It’s silent for a moment, both of you looking at Kung Lao, who is scratching at the back of his head and thinking really hard, he hesitates momentarily, “I guess… she can sleep with whoever she wants…”

It hurts again, hearing that, especially since those weren’t his sentiments those few weeks ago but now you’re wondering if that’s just something he said and didn’t actually mean. Did he mean any of it? Or was he just really horny? Raiden eyes you carefully, catching something that you thought you were hiding well. You shy away from his gaze, how he always manages to read your feelings gets annoying when you’re specifically trying to hide something that you can’t even identify yourself.  

Raiden wipes his hands off on a towel, “I am… not annoyed with you both…” Kung Lao and you give him a look and he breathes out an annoyed but amused sound, “Alright, I cannot say I am overjoyed but I am not… angry, you can do whatever you want.”

It’s fairly obvious that Raiden is still… upset but you’re also inclined to believe him, you think he’s trying fairly hard to not be upset about Kung Lao and you sleeping together. At least, you think he’s trying to not be angry at you both but you can tell he’s feeling some type of way about what happened.

It’s silent again in the kitchen as Raiden puts the clean dishes away, only the clanking of porcelain remains. The three of you not really sure what to say, the atmosphere tense, this is something you were worried about happening but you have no idea what to say to make this situation better and your heart continues to ache because of it.

Breaking the quiet, you suddenly ask, “Do you mean it, Kung Lao? I can sleep with whoever I want?”

Raiden stands stock still, feeling like he’s intruding in on a conversation he should not be privy to.

Kung Lao looks at you, his eyes slightly widened in shock, put on the spot suddenly, “I mean, yeah… we are not… exclusive and you have your own autonomy, do as you like.”

“Right,” you force yourself to sound agreeable, not wanting to show your souring mood, “I am going back to bed, you two need to start getting along again or I am going to do something drastic,” you point at both of them, your tone full of mirth, back to teasing them.

Before they can say anymore to you, you’re heading back to your room and crawling into bed. You don’t sleep, even though you try, you just lay there for a bit, numb. This awkwardness, this uncomfortableness and the weird feelings, is exactly why you said sleeping together was a bad idea. You wish you’d had more will power to stick to your guns but you let your judgement be clouded by emotions and feelings you aren’t even completely able to explain.

The time ticks by while you lay flat on your back in bed, staring up at the ceiling, motionless. You can hear the guys stomping around the house, their footsteps tracking back and forth as they go about their days, you know you’ll have to get up soon and be productive but you don’t know if you really feel like it. Everything feels like effort right now and you don’t have a good reason as to why.

Soft taps on your door force you to sit up, calling out as you do, “What?”

“Are you going to come out of your room at all today?” It’s Raiden’s voice, he’s clearly concerned but it also feels like you’re being scolded by a parent rather than being checked in on by a worried friend.

“No.”

He’s quiet for a moment before speaking again, “…Kung Lao has gone out… if that changes your answer at all.” You grunt out at him in acknowledgement and he asks, “Do you… want to hang out?”

You consider him for a moment before smiling to yourself, “Can I braid your hair?” you’ve asked him multiple times before and he always says no, you’re hoping he acquiesces this time.

He asks though the door, “Is anything else going to make you leave your room?”

“No.”

“Not even scrabble?” He challenges.

You feel yourself perk up a bit at that but ultimately decide, “No, not even scrabble.”

A soft sigh leaves him as he gives in, “Fine.”

You giggle as you pull yourself out of bed quickly and race over to the door, pulling it open to reveal Raiden in front of you, already looking regretful at agreeing to this, “Amazing, let me get my stuff and I’ll be right out.”

He hums at you, “Take your time,” he says as he walks away to the living area.

It takes you no time at all to collect your brush and hair ties, not wanting to give him the chance to change his mind. Your footsteps are rushed as you shuffle out of your room and into the lounge with Raiden, he’s sat on the couch waiting patiently for you, half wishing you changed your mind and want to play scrabble instead. When he sees the stupid, giddy smile on your face though, he finds himself not really minding that he’s agreed to this.

“Okay, sit on the floor,” you direct, moving to sit on the couch yourself.

He supresses his smile at your happiness and moves to the floor, “How long are you going to drag this out for?”

“Only until you look really pretty,” you snicker.

You spread your legs, him sat between them on the floor, his frame is larger than you have ever taken notice of. It’s hard to ignore Kung Lao’s stature, he’s frequently shirtless and showing off… but Raiden is just as built and you find yourself forgetting that a lot. You’re careful as you undo his hair, not wanting to pull too harshly and hurt him.

His hands come up to yours, placing them over top and stopping your movements, “You could pull harder, I will not break,” he half laughs, “But I got it.” He tugs his hair free of the bun.

Your skin heats slightly as his touch feels like it lingers on your skin, even as he’s moved them back to his lap, he was so gentle, his hands so large. Shaking your head slightly, you bring your attention back to the task at hand, you run your hands through his hair a bit, it’s soft, softer than you were expecting.

“You have soft hair,” you mention mindlessly.

Raiden scoffs, “Were you expecting otherwise?”

You grab the brush and start gently untangling his hair, “A little… yes.”

He mumbles out, “Rude.”

Your tone is full of mirth, “Hey! You’re the farm boy, what else was I supposed to expect?”

“I am clean! Thank you very much,” he’s pretending to be offended.

“Hmmm, I am not convinced,” you prod further.

He drops his head back onto the couch between your legs, looking up at you, “I can leave? If I am so unclean?”

“No, I am sure you’re so clean, the cleanest even,” you smile innocently.

He smiles back at you but rolls his eyes at the same time and then raises his head again, letting you continue to brush it.

“Where has Kung Lao gone?” You ask him.

He hums at you, “It is his turn to run errands… but he will probably get distracted, knowing him.”

Your laugh is airy as you recount, “It’s sweet though, he plays with the kids, he can’t help but get roped into their games.”

“It is nice until you actually need whatever it is he went out for,” he grumbles slightly.

You continue brushing his hair, “Remember when he didn’t come home until sundown?”

Raiden’s face scrunches at the memory, “Yes… I remember, all I wanted was tea and had to wait hours for it.”

“What about the time you had to go looking for him,” you remind.

He scoffs, “It was getting so late, for all I knew he could have fallen in a hole and gotten stuck.”

You laugh a lot at that, Kung Lao has a bad habit of getting really involved in whatever game the kids are playing, sometimes he even lets them win… if he’s feeling benevolent, that is. There are a lot of memories that both you and Raiden share of having to wait on him longer than expected because he was trying to win a game of hide and seek or something similar. It can get annoying but for the most part, it’s just endearing.

Mindlessly, you continue to untangle Raiden’s hair, though it’s mostly untangled now, it wasn’t even that bad to begin with, you’re just caught up in thinking of all the times Kung Lao did something kind or stupid, stuff that makes you laugh at how dumb he’s being.

“Are you okay?” Raiden asks suddenly.

You drop the brush onto the couch, coming back to yourself, “I’m fine.”

The scepticism in his tone is hard to miss, “And that is why you spent all morning in bed… because you are fine?”

“…Yes?”

His hand wraps around your ankle, the only part of you he can reach without moving too much, “You do not have to talk about it if you do not want to… but I can tell something is bothering you.”

You rub at your eyes, thinking, “It’s not and I am fine, I am just… confused.”

He pushes, “About?”

“Kung Lao has just… said some conflicting things… whatever, it doesn’t matter,” your hands drop back to your lap.

Raiden thinks for a moment before asking you a question you don’t have a concrete answer to, “Do you want to be with him?”

You don’t know what you want from him, so you answer honestly, “I don’t… I don’t know, like I said, I’m confused.” You fiddle with your fingers, “I am sorry though… I mean, I don’t regret sleeping with him but I am sorry… for upsetting you.”

“I am not upset at you, and you have nothing to apologise for,” he’s taken aback by your apology to him, not expecting it.

“Good.” You smile to yourself, “I’m gonna start braiding your hair now then.”

He slumps a bit, “Go for it.”

Moving your hands, your fingers delicately brush his hair away from his forehead, pulling it back, you’re careful as you collect the hairs by his temples. Grabbing three strands, you start the braid, collecting more as you go. Raiden holds still for you, letting you quietly do your thing. Aside from your small humming the house is silent, he doesn’t mind it though, he’s not even sure you’re aware that you’re doing it. He doesn’t want to bring your attention to it though, he doesn’t want you to stop.

It tickles him when your hands gently brush against his neck, gathering stray hairs. You’re being so gentle with him, soft brushes of your fingers against his skin, light tugs of his hair when it’s uncooperative, it’s overwhelming him. Your legs either side of his body close in on his sides, he’d started moving unconsciously and you’re attempting to keep him still.

“Hold still, please,” you murmur, still focusing on his hair, wanting it to look nice. He involuntarily moves again and it causes you to tug at his hair, it jolts him and he has to bite his lip to stop himself from whimpering aloud, “Shit, sorry, Rai,” you apologise to him guiltily.

“No, that was my fault,” he’s quick to reply, not wanting you to feel bad.

He’s feeling uncomfortable, particularly in the lower region, your touch and proximity is setting him on edge and he can’t help the way he grows pitifully hard at just your hands in his hair and legs hugging his sides. You don’t notice anything though, still braiding his hair, humming to yourself again. Somehow, even the sound of your soft, singsong tone, has his erection throbbing in his pants. This is part of the reason why he always said no to you doing his hair, he doesn’t trust his reactions to you.

The pressure of your legs holding him still is filling his head with images that are more… graphic in nature, the context completely shifting in his mind. Instead, imagining your legs hugging his waist as he–

You lean down beside him and speak next to his ear, “I am done!”

His train of thought is cut short but the effects of it remain, he’s flush in the face and fully erect. Feeling beyond embarrassed right now and wanting to leave the room without it being suspicious, he’s actively thinking of ways to remove himself from this situation.

“Great… thanks, I am sure it looks great,” he rushes out quickly, trying to appear normal but failing miserably.

You shuffle to the side more, trying to see his face as you ask, “Are you okay, Rai?”

He turns to look at you, his skin heating at how close you are, “I am.”

Your brows pull together, “Are you sure? You look a little flush… do you feel sick?”

He feels like there’s a lump in his throat, “I feel fine, honest.”

You hum at him in thought before leaning into him and pressing your forehead to his, your hand coming up to rest your knuckles against his cheek, “You feel a little warm.”

Raiden feels like he may pass out, any chance he had of redirecting his thoughts and calming down are gone. You’re so close and you smell so nice and your hand is so soft against his skin and your lips are right there.

As you pull back slightly, he takes a shaky breath, your hand comes away slowly, as if to give him time to stop you. You both look back at each other silently for what feels like too long but is only probably a few seconds, ultimately you’re interrupted by Kung Lao walking through the front door and into the house.

“…Hey guys,” Kung Lao greets, a little confused by the scene in front of him.

You pull away from Raiden completely and sit back on the couch, your legs coming away from his sides as you pull them up onto the cushions, “Hey,” your tone comes across as slightly dismissive but you smile politely at him.

Raiden clears his throat, “What took you so long?”

“Before we discuss that, we have to talk about your hair,” he replies, voice full of mirth.

“No! Don’t mock him! I did that for him and I think it looks very nice,” the last thing you want is for Raiden to get mocked so severely by Kung Lao that he doesn’t let you do his hair ever again.

Kung Lao raises his occupied hands in defence, “Sorry, sorry! I love it so much, it does look… very nice,” he’s holding back a laugh, you can tell by the way his face is scrunching up and his mouth twitches.

“You’re next,” you squint, pointing a finger at him, feeling slighted on Raiden’s behalf.

Raiden interrupts before Kung Lao can attest, “I do not think he deserves such an honour!”

“You know what, you’re right, my hair braiding skills are too good for him,” you raise your head up and away from Kung Lao, playing up your offence.

Kung Lao squints at Raiden who looks back at him with an incredibly smug look on his face, clearly proud of keeping this act between the two of you. Happy that he’s convinced you to deprive Kung Lao of an intimate moment like the one you had just shared. Maybe he’s being petty but also… maybe he doesn’t care.

You glance back at them and laugh at their battle, unaware of the very real and very tense underlying emotions between them, “Anyways, what took you so long? Fall in a hole?”

Kung Lao looks back to you and his gaze softens but still contains a teasing edge, “No… I just got really involved in a game.”

Raiden scoffs and you hum a small laugh, “Yeah, we had assumed as much, at least you came back without us having to come and get you.”

Kung Lao groans and rolls his neck before walking into the kitchen, calling back, “Come on, you have only had to come and get me a handful of times.”

Raiden sighs, “Two handfuls, maybe.”

You’re thoroughly amused and you giggle softly but take the lull in the conversation as an opportunity to leave the room. Choosing to hide yourself back in your room before either of them can question you on what you’re doing or where you’re going. It felt normal, the conversation between the three of you, for the most part anyways but you still can’t help but be upset at Kung Lao and that frustrates you more because you don’t feel like you have a good reason to be upset with him. You’re friends, not lovers, you don’t even know if… you don’t even know if you like him like that.

The only thing you wish had changed… was that he didn’t say the things he did only to contradict himself later. If he hadn’t done that, you think… maybe, you wouldn’t be this upset… or at least not this confused.

𝜗𝜚

It’s unintentional but you ended up drifting to sleep too early in the evening and now you’re awake at some ungodly hour in the morning, it’s too dark in your room to read the clock on your wall. All you know, is that it has to be late and you’ve just had the kind of nap that takes you a few seconds to readjust to real life after waking up. You’re confused momentarily on where you even are before settling and then you’re just really thirsty.

Peeling yourself off the mattress, you stumble your way through the dark house and head towards the kitchen, your eyes slowly adjusting to the dark as you go. You knock your knee on the corner of a wall and hiss slightly, stopping to silently lament your clumsiness, how long have you lived here for? You’d think you could navigate the house in the dark without hurting yourself.

Sighing and in a slightly worse mood than before, you hobble the rest of your way into the kitchen. As you enter the room, you jump at the shadowy figure already lurking in the dark, the surprise making you gasp and clasp a hand over your beating heart.

When the initial shock wears off, you can immediately tell who it is, “Rai, geez, give a girl some warning.”

He mumble at you, voice thick with sleep, “Sorry, thought you saw me.”

The deepness of his voice pricks at your skin in a… not unpleasant way, ignoring it you ask, “Does that mean… you heard me knock into the wall?”

He tries to hide it but you can hear the quiet laugh he lets out as he admits, “Yes.”

“…Great,” you sulk.

“Just wake up?” He asks, changing the topic.

“I didn’t even realise I’d fallen asleep,” you sigh, moving for the cups, “Why are you up?”

He rests against the bench, “Having trouble staying asleep, was in here for some water.”

“Mmm yeah, I need some too, I woke up and felt like I’d been eating sand in my sleep or something,” you grumble, filling a glass with water.

He laughs as he watches you chug the whole glass before refilling it, “You were not kidding.”

“I never kid,” you say seriously, moving to lean against the bench next to him.

“That is the biggest lie I have heard to date,” he says deadpan.

You shrug, smirking into the lip of your cup, “You are entitled to your incorrect opinion.”

“Well, thank you so much for allowing me at least that much,” he breathes out a small laugh.

“You are most welcome,” you tease, lightly bumping his shoulder with yours.

It goes quiet after that, neither of you having much to say right now, slowly, you finish your second glass of water and place the cup in the sink. Continuing to linger in the kitchen, not wanting to leave but not having a reason to stay.

When you can’t find a good enough reason to stay any longer, you push off the counter, “Good night, Rai,” you pat his shoulder before walking back to your room. 

You’re careful not to knock yourself against another wall on your way back and successfully make it to your room injury free. Just as you go to close your door, Raiden presses a hand on it and opens it again, letting himself into your room.

Before you can ask him what he’s doing he instead asks you, “Why are you sorry?”

You don’t know what he means, “What?”

He barely lets you get the word out before he’s asking again with more words, “Earlier today, you said you do not regret sleeping with Kung Lao but you are sorry to me… why are you sorry?”

You stammer, not really sure how to answer because you aren’t even really sure of the reason yourself. It doesn’t help that he’s walked closer to you, it’s making you feel like he’s in your space, he’s moved so close to you, looking at you so intently, waiting to see what you have to say.

When you can’t manage to produce anything, he sighs softly but puts his hands on either side of your face, his thumbs gently stroking the highest parts of your cheekbones. He seems like he’s considering something, weighing the pros and cons of his next actions. After a few moments of consideration and holding you like this, he pulls you to him and kisses you.

Initially, you’re taken by surprise but when you register his soft lips on yours, your hands grasp his shirt and you kiss him back. It’s electric, he kisses you in a gentle but consuming manner, like he’s being careful but reckless all at the same time. His lips are insistent but hesitant at the same time, knowing what he wants to take but worried about taking it. He’s making you lightheaded either way, a small sound escapes you when he kisses you a bit more forcefully.

He stops the kiss before it progresses any further, pulling his face away from yours but still holding you. You’re lost at his sudden absence, you were enjoying the kiss, you… don’t want to stop kissing him.

You’re slightly out of breath when you ask, “Why did you do that?”

“I wanted to see,” is all he says, scanning your face.

You frown up at him, “See what?”

His gaze lingers on your lips, “If you would kiss me back.”

You’re shocked by his answer and also still dazed from his kiss, what the hell does he mean ‘he wanted to see’?. You’re still frowning up at him and he presses his thumb into the crease between your brows encouraging you to relax. He smiles at you, it’s kind and also somehow, a bit smug, a quiet kind of smugness that he has shown only a handful of times in the past.

You pout, “That’s it?”

He seems a little nervous now, “Why? Do… do you want me to kiss you again?”

“No– I mean, I wouldn’t mind– that’s not what I was asking!” He smiles softly at the way you fumble and you have to gather yourself before asking clearly, “I mean… Is that the only reason you kissed me? To see if I would kiss you back?”

He removes his hands from you completely, “No.”

“No?”

He nods, “No.”

You place your hands on your hips, “Are you going to give me any more than that?”

He offers, “I will give you more… if you can tell me why you kissed me back.”

You’re annoyed at how well he reads you, especially right now because you don’t have an answer.  You kissed him back because you wanted to…

He smiles at you wistfully, “When you have worked out your answer, find me and I will have an answer to your question.” He pats your shoulder and then leaves your room.

What the hell just happened? You don’t even know how to react, he just… what are you… why was this so attractive? Collapsing into bed, all you can do is think about how much you enjoyed kissing Raiden and what that means for you. Going back to sleep seems like an impossible task now.

𝜗𝜚

In the morning, when it’s a more appropriate hour to be awake, you spend your time avoiding both of the guys. It’s a little difficult but you think to yourself, you only have to do this until your afternoon shift at the tea house and then you’ll be at work and it’ll be so much easier to avoid them.

You time your exits from your room carefully all morning, to dodge possible run ins with them. It feels silly but you crack open the door and peek out to see where they are adjacent to you, straining your ears, listening for them when you can’t see them. It’s all a bit childish but you don’t want to talk to Kung Lao because you’re still feeling upset over how he’s been acting after your night together and you don’t want to talk to Raiden after last night, you will talk to him though… when you have that answer.

Thankfully, you make it the whole morning without seeing either of them on your trips to and from your room. They also don’t come looking for you and leave you alone, probably assuming you’re sleeping in. The only time you see them both is in passing as you leave the house.

“I’ll be back later this afternoon, bye!” You call out as you rush out the front door, not stopping to give them the chance to reply properly.

You feel just the slightest bit bad but also not really, you’re allowed time to collect yourself and your thoughts, it’s not your fault they’re the cause of your confusion. On your walk to work, you consider what it all means, how you’ve been feeling, why Kung Lao’s blasé attitude upset you, why you liked kissing Raiden back and there’s only really one, glaringly obvious answer to both of those situations. How annoying, you cannot have this realisation right now, you have work.

Ignoring the answers you had been searching for, you get to work and waste no time in distracting yourself. It’s ironic really, you’d been trying so hard to think and have this realisation and now you’re pissed at yourself for figuring it out now and trying to ignore it. You don’t even have time to process how this makes you feel, well… you do and you could, you’re just choosing not to.

Focusing all you attention on your job kind of works as a replacement for thinking, you’re forced to put all your energy into other things but your thoughts tug at the back of your head and you know you’re going to have to confront this if you want it to stop. Just… not right now.

The shift itself is actually pretty good, there aren’t many people here today and the people that are here and that you interact with are incredibly kind. Some regulars come in and you get roped into polite chatter with them but you don’t mind, it’s welcome today.

It’s getting to be towards the end of your shift and though you’re happy to be almost finished with work, you also feel nervous about going home. Those nerves aren’t eased when you see both Raiden and Kung Lao walk into your place of work together. They do leave you alone to finish your shift, though Raiden stands by the exit, waiting for you to be done for the day. You don’t know where Kung Lao is, you’ve lost sight of him. Disregarding their presence, you tidy up and do some other things for Madam Bo before realising your shift is over and you’ve also managed to stay back a little by helping out with things that really weren’t urgent.

Feeling bad for making them wait, you head over to where you saw Raiden, still unsure on where Kung Lao has gone, “If you were waiting for me… I’m sorry, I was just helping out with some stuff.”

Raiden straightens up when he sees you, “I was but it is fine, I would have waited longer… if you needed extra time.”

“No, no I’m good to leave now,” you smile at him.

He smiles back but nods down at you, “Are you sure?”

You look down at yourself and realise you had kept an apron on, sheepishly, you rub the back of your neck and laugh, “Right… sorry, I will be right back.”

Raiden laughs lightly at your embarrassment as you jog away to the back area of the tea house. Quickly, you tug off the apron and put it away, taking a second to calm down and try to look like less of a mess and then you walk back out to where Raiden is still standing and still waiting for you.

“All better?” You ask, spinning around in a circle for him.

He confirms for you, “All better.”

You look around the tea house, trying to spot Kung Lao, “I thought I saw you come in with Kung Lao earlier…”

“Ah, so you did see us,” he jabs at you for avoiding them, seemingly, you are not as slick as you like to pretend you are, “He… uh… he has a date? Kind of? He’s meeting someone here… now.”

That makes you stop, you try not to but you can’t help but feel dejected, “Oh.”

“Hey…” Raiden reaches his hand up and places it on your shoulder, “I do not think he actually wanted to go… it was set up a bit ago by one of the ladies who is friends with Madam Bo… he is doing it more of a favour to her.”

Shaking your head, you say, “I don’t mind, he can do as he likes, or who he likes, for that matter…” trailing off you add, “He always does…”

You say that but you still feel hurt, he made you get rid of that guys number after you slept with him but he’s going on a date after saying he’d never want anyone else… Whatever, you’re ignoring this… this whole thought process has been added to the huge ignore pile you have created in your brain.

Raiden squeezes your shoulder and recaptures your attention, “You ready to head home?”

“Beyond ready,” your smile is tired when you look at him and he pats your shoulder, the pair of you turning to walk out of the tea house together.

The walk back starts off quiet, a peaceful and unhurried pace is shared between you, he breaks it though, asking, “Are we okay? I… did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable last night–”

“–I have an answer,” you look down to your feet, feeling his eyes on you, your steps slow slightly, “I wanted to.”

He stops completely, “You wanted to?”

You also stop but you can’t look at him, feeling embarrassed and instead choosing to look off in the distance where the house is waiting, “…I kissed you back… because I wanted to kiss you.”

“…Then conversely, I kissed you because I wanted to,” he sounds nervous as well but he’s hiding it better than you. You still won’t look at him and he sighs from beside you, “Because I like you.”

It feels like cold water has been dumped on you and you look to him with a shocked expression on your face, “I– I can’t, I don’t–” taking a deep breath you try to verbalise your response better, “I think… I– I am confused, Rai.”

He smiles softly at you, “I know,” he reaches out to your arm and touches along it before taking your hand in his, “I will wait… until you figure it out.”

You look to him and your eyes feel wet, it’s like… he already knows how you’re feeling, he’s steps ahead of you and just waiting patiently for you to catch up to him, “I’m not asking you to do that.”

“No… but I will,” he squeezes your hand and starts walking again, leading you back home.

You follow with him silently, not having much else to say, you think for now, everything that needs to be said and that you can manage to say has been. If he’s willing to wait just a little longer, until you can sort yourself out, until things can start making sense, that would make you ridiculously happy. He’s so… kind to you… and he always has been, you’re being overwhelmed by feelings for him.

When you’re back in the house, he lets you through first but as soon as he closes the door, you turn around and face him, stopping him from moving into the house any further, “I would like… I would like it if you would kiss me again… please?”

His eyes grow wider, surprised by your sudden question, “Right now?”

You’re feeling foolish now, “Only if you want to… you don’t have to.”

“I want to… I always want to,” he murmurs, moving closer to you, one of his hands reaching up to your face, “Are you sure?”

It feels like you soften for him all at once, “Yes.”

Leaning down, he presses a lingering kiss to your lips before pulling back enough to ask, “Is this alright?”

“No. I want more,” you mumble, looping your arms around his neck and pulling yourself to him, kissing him firmly.

His hands move to your hips, holding you close, his mouth moving against yours enthusiastically. He grips the fat of your hips harshly and pushes you back towards the wall, crowding you in, you gasp when you make contact with it. He takes the chance to deepen the kiss, his lips are insistent, eager, it’s making you dizzy. He moves his leg between yours, pinning you to the wall, the movement against your core shocks you and you let a small noise slip from the back of your throat.

Raiden pulls back at the sound, his forehead falls to your shoulder, breathlessly he apologises, “Sorry… I– I am getting worked up… I can stop–”

“–No… that’s not… I don’t want you to stop,” your voice feels small, you feel shy but you don’t want him to stop… you want him to go further, you want him worked up. Moving your lips to his ear, you say softly, “I want you.”

A shiver runs down his spine and you think if your hearing was slightly better you would have caught the small whine he made at the sound of your voice. He doesn’t move though, holding completely still, trying to reboot. Taking initiative, you grab one of his hands off your hips and lead him down the hall to his bedroom. He dutifully follows behind you, letting you take him wherever you want, he thinks he’d follow you into hell like this.

Once you’re in his room, you turn around to face him, you got him in here but now you’re feeling unsure, your confidence short lived, “Rai, I’m not good at… this.”

He’s a little dazed as he looks down at you, gaze busy watching you, “I think you were doing fine,” he hums. You go to complain to him, bothered by his response but he’s reaching out to you, grabbing at your waist, his lips close to yours, “You still want me?” He checks.

Breathlessly, you answer, “Yes.”

He smiles at you before leaning in and kissing you again, this time letting himself be unrestrained, his tongue in your mouth immediately. His hands roam more freely, groping at you. Your arms loop around him again, pulling yourself to him, you moan into the kiss and it drives him crazy.

He walks you back towards his bed and you let him but as you reach the edge of the frame, you part from him, you have something to say but you’re huffing, trying to catch your breath. His hand holds your face and his thumb wipes your bottom lip, cleaning you of the messy and rushed kiss you shared.

His eyes linger on your lips before asking, “Is something wrong?”

You feel like an idiot as you awkwardly get out, “No… I– I just… wanted… you to sit… first? maybe?...”

He looks confused for a moment before clarifying, “You want to sit on my lap?”

It’s said in a way where he’s only asking to be sure but it makes your skin feel hot and now you’re embarrassed, “…Only if you’re okay with it.”

He smirks at you in a way you’ve not seen before and it makes your heart skip a beat, “You are welcome to sit anywhere you like.”

You make a shocked expression at him, not expecting him to say something so suggestive. He kisses you again, not removing the stupefied look on your face, only changing the reason for it and then he removes himself from you to sit on his bed, waiting for you, he even pats his lap lightly with a small and welcoming smile on his face.

It feels silly as you crawl over to him, especially since he watches you so closely, he’s always watching you closely and it makes you lightheaded. You sit in his lap and his hands stroke your thighs, up your sides, caressing your body tenderly.

He goes to lean into you but you stop him, “Wait–” you crawl off him and he sighs in disappointment but watches to see what you’re doing. You shuffle out of your pants before crawling back and sitting on him again, he groans when your covered pussy makes contact with his cock, “Sorry… I thought this would save time.”

He intakes a deep breath, “I think you may kill me,” he mutters, his hand drawing towards your cunt, thumb swiping over the front of your underwear.

His cock is hard underneath you and he feels… “Rai?”

He hums at you in response, he’s distracted, his fingers pulling at your panties without actually moving them, waiting for your okay. When he realises you’re waiting for his full attention, he moves his hands to your inner thighs and rubs them, fingers digging in a tiny bit, it has you wiggling down into him, the pressure flipping your tummy.

He looks into your eyes, “Yes?”

You falter a bit, “Are… are you… fully hard?...”

“Pretty much… yeah,” his brows crease, confused at your question, “…Why?”

“You just…” your hands grip onto his shoulders and you drag your clothed cunt along the length of his cock, he chokes and grips you harder, shocked. You bite your lip to supress your sounds, you’re just trying to see something. When you stop grinding into him, he lets out a sad sound, his hands pulling at you, wanting you to keep going, “Rai, you’re huge.”

“What?” He looks genuinely confused, “I am not, I am average.”

You shake your head at him, “Rai, you might not…” You frown and look away, feeling flustered.

He understands what you’re worried about though, “Oh, I will,” he assures. The way he says it makes your heart skip a beat, he’s so certain, you’re so… not. “Can I?” He asks, nodding towards your panties.

“You have to take something off first,” he cannot see your pussy while also still being fully clothed.

He easily takes off his shirt and chucks it down onto the floor, “Now?”

You nod at him and he eagerly pulls your panties to the side, his index and middle finger slide through your wet folds and he grumbles lowly to himself at how slick you are. You grip his shoulders for purchase, needing the stability. He plays with your cunt, fingers making a mess of you, gently touching your clit every now and again just to see the way you jolt and get an increasingly more desperate look in your eyes.

You gasp out to him, “Rai… you’re being cruel.”

He smiles to himself, “Sorry,” he replies, although, he doesn’t really seem all that sorry.

Thankfully, he does actually move his finger towards your entrance, his middle finger slowly pushes forwards, careful not to hurt you. Your pussy swallows the digit and he moans at the way you grip him. Your thighs shake and little noises you aren’t quite aware of slip past your bitten lips.

Raiden has to control himself, wanting to finger fuck you until you’re blind but not wanting to hurt you or go too fast. He focuses on opening you up on his one finger, cock twitching in his pants at how you make little whimpered sounds for him.

Your eyes are low and wet, looking to him and asking, “More, please.”

You look dazed, eyes sparkling with how malleable he’s making you. He might melt into a puddle for you right here, “Mmm, you look really pretty,” he comments. The compliment goes to your core and your cunt throbs on his finger, “Oh… you like being told how pretty you are?”

“Rai don’t,” he’s embarrassing you.

“Why not? Do you not want to hear how beautiful you are to me while I stuff my fingers inside you?” He singsongs, another finger moving to join the one already inside you.

You go to speak but he fucks them up into you and crooks them, rubbing them against your inner wall just right and the only thing that comes out it an incredibly pitiful whine. A sound that Raiden delights in, if his smile and bright eyes are anything to by.

“Make cute noises, too,” he utters to you, his other hand leaving your waist and holding the side of your neck, “Wonder how you will sound when you cum, though I think I know…” you look at him with wide eyes and he looks back to you, his eye contact intense, “You seem to forget that you have roommates.”

You try to look away from him but he moves his hand up to your cheek, forcing you to look at him. How are you meant to reply to that? You’re feeling really embarrassed and exposed, especially since his fingers are knuckle deep inside your cunt, reaching places you can’t touch when you’re doing this by yourself.

“I can’t– I don’t– If I’m so loud… why do you –ngh– never say anything?” It’s a struggle to get the question out, you’re trying to refrain yourself from grinding down into his fingers.

His smile is saccharine as he replies, “If I did that… you would probably stop.”

You gasp at him and he begins thrusting his fingers into you again, not caring to hear your protests to his answer. The sounds in the room are embarrassing to say the least, your skin feels hot and you can’t tell if that’s because of him or your humiliation at how wet you are. His eyes flick between your pussy and your face, lingering on your face for a few moments and pulling your lip down with his thumb before focusing his attention back on where his fingers are devastating you.

“Could you take another?” He asks gently, glancing up at you and waiting for your response.

You nod enthusiastically, “I can.”

“That is good, you are doing so good,” he practically purrs, it makes your pussy spasm and his smile grows, he’s going to use this against you a lot and that makes you nervous… and aroused, something he definitely knows.

He scissors his fingers, trying to open you up for a third, you squirm and look down, his hand is so large and… slick. Glistening with how you spill down his fingers and into his palm. It’s an obscene sight that makes your heart flutter, you moan as your hips wriggle down, silently begging for friction, for more.

It’s slow, when he first adds a third, it’s a lot more to take but you’re getting impatient and the sounds you make convey as much, Raiden tuts at you, “Just stay still for me, please.”

You clench down on him but hold as still as you can manage, noises you didn’t think yourself capable of getting stuck in your throat as his thumb rubs at your clit. He eases his third finger inside and your own fingers grip at his shoulder, gasped and stuttered breaths leaving you as you try to take it.

Raiden holds a moan in his chest, getting off on how you look right now, his cock painfully hard. He’s trying to be so patient, trying his very best to not lose it at how well you’re doing for him, how compliant you’re being. He’s not asked much of you at all and you’re so completely willing, eager even, it feels like electricity is running through his veins.

Your voice is pitched high when you plead with him to move, “Rai– please~”

He looks to you, his smile kind but his aura smug, “More?”

“More,” you confirm. You’re getting close to finishing, your stomach tightening, pulling taut, your pussy throbbing around his fingers. All you need if for him to move, “I am –hah– I am getting close–”

“–I know,” is what he replies with, apparently perfectly aware of how close you’re getting but still taking his time anyways.

Once you relax more, he retracts his fingers and begins thrusting them in and out of you, the sounds that result make even him blush. His eyes dazed and lustful, his ego growing with just how wet you are for him. His free hand moves to grip your hip, holding you still, preventing you from bucking into him. Something he’s glad he did because when it begins to feel like too much you try to pull back and he doesn’t want you going anywhere.

“Is too –ngh– much,” you whimper to him, the feeling overwhelming you.

His eyes stay on your cunt, not looking away from what he’s doing, “You can take it, you have been doing so good.”

The moan that his praise pulls from you is damning evidence of how much his encouraging words effect you and he huffs a small sound of amusement at how much he’s effecting you just by telling you how good you’re doing. You’d snap at him if he weren’t so close to making you cum, you don’t want to risk this slipping from you. Your thighs shake and your tummy flips, your hands pull and grasp at his skin and you all but hold your breath as you cum on his fingers.

Unable to stay upright, you fall into his chest, your head on his shoulder, your moans being muffled into his skin. Your eyes shut tight as you jolt against him, your orgasm wracking over your body. Raiden groans at how your pussy trembles around his fingers, a shiver running down his spine.

You can’t speak, not yet, you’re shaking still and you just need a moment to collect yourself. Raiden retracts his fingers to let you collapse into him completely, your weight sat comfortably on top of him, his cock jerking underneath you from the friction and heat of your bare cunt.

He moves his head slightly to the side, his nose brushing against your cheek, “Are you okay?”

“More than, I just wasn’t… expecting all that,” it comes out mumbled, you’re even drooling onto his skin slightly.

He counters, “You are the one worried about taking me.”

You harrumph against him, pouting slightly, “For good reason!”

“We do not have to, if you are worried,” he strokes the back of your head, his touch delicate.

Pulling back to look at him properly, you assert, “I want to.”

He pulls you into him, kissing you deeply, his lips tender despite the depraved manner in which he’s kissing you. His lust clouding his head as he kisses you deeply, hands searching your body, groping and pulling at you, on your hips, your ass, your waist, your breasts, anywhere he can get to. All you can do is hold onto him and let him kiss you into oblivion, that’s not a complaint though, you think you’d let him kiss you for as long as he wants to.

His hands slip under your shirt, resting against your bare skin, revelling in the feel of your soft skin against his rough palms. His arms move to wrap around you completely, tugging you to his body, your front pressed against his as he kisses you stupid. You need air, you’re being deprived, slipping your hands into his hair, you tug, signalling to him that you need to breathe. The action pulls a moan from him, shared in the kiss, he understands your ask though and rests his forehead against yours. He’s huffing harshly, apparently needing air too and just refusing to pull away from you.

You go to ask him if he’s okay but he beats you to it, instead asking you, “Can you take this off?” He tugs at your shirt.

“Hmm?” It takes your dazed mind a second to catch on, “Oh! Yeah, okay,” you giggle softly at your stupidity and it makes Raiden smile goofy and big.

He slips his hands under your shirt and tugs it up and over your head, exposing yourself to him. He chucks it to the floor before his hands hesitate at touching you, grabbing one of his hands you place it on your body, encouraging him to touch you, that it’s okay. He’s more comfortable after that, both of his hands on your body, he holds your breasts in his large hands, pawing at them.

Leaning down, you kiss him again, he welcomes it but doesn’t take his hands away from your tits. Reaching for his pants, you begin tugging at the layers of clothes between the two of you, you’re struggling though, lost in his kiss and his warm hands. You let out a shocked moan when he pinches at your nipples, rolling them, your moan disconnects the kiss and your head falls to his shoulder.

He softly chuckles at your reaction, removing his hands from you and down to his pants, “…Sorry.”

“I don’t think you are,” you grumble against him.

He presses a kiss to your shoulder, “You are right, I am not.”

He hisses as he pulls himself out of his pants and you lean back to look down at him, his cock is slightly larger than you were expecting, average your ass. The tip is angry and red, leaking precum profusely. Clearly, he’s unbelievably worked up, his dick twitching as he holds the base of it. Your hand moves towards him, hesitating just as he did before, he lets go of his grasp and pulls your hand to him, mirroring your previous action, showing you it’s okay.

When you take him in your hand he holds back a moan, resulting in a small, hummed noise instead. It makes you smile to yourself, the noises he makes are cute… you want to hear more. You pick a languid pace and jerk him off, his chest stutters and his cock jumps, your thumb rubs at the tip of his dick, collecting the precum there and working it up and down his cock, making him slick.

His hips rise and stutter, wanting you to go faster but you don’t want to make him cum, you just want to tease him a little bit. You wonder how much you could tease him before he can’t take it anymore and just takes what he needs from you, the idea of seeing Raiden break and be little bit mean to you excites you more than you care to admit… but it’s a lot.

You’re still worried about taking him, he’s not slick enough and you need it slick if you’re going to sit on all of him, which you are determined to do. Gathering the saliva in your mouth you spit down onto the tip of his cock and he groans at the sight, fighting the urge to tip his head back, wanting to watch what you’re doing instead. You use your spit to lube his cock, your hand glides up and down his shaft easier like this. Raiden stutters out a sharp breath, he’s beyond horny, he’s getting twitchy, needy.

He huffs out, “Can I –hah–”

“Hmm?” You can’t tell exactly what he was going to ask, though you probably could guess.

“Can you just–” He sighs, exasperated, “Sit on it,” he waits a moment before adding “Please?”

His phrasing makes your pussy jump, you weren’t expecting that kind of directness from him, it is welcomed though. You bite back a smile at his increasing impatience, which he doesn’t miss, his eyes narrowing at you but before he can even think of something to say, you grip him tightly and sit up on your knees, drawing closer to him. His focus is suddenly back on your cunt, waiting for you to sink down on him.

You get frustrated at your underwear though, wanting them off before taking him, you let go of his dick and he grunts, “Hold on, I want to take off–”

Raiden looks mildly annoyed in front of you, his hands stop you from going anywhere and in an entirely bored manner, he tears your panties off of you. The material ripped from you and chucked across the room, a pathetic noise leaves you at it and he sits back, waiting on you again.

He looks up at you, “Better?”

You gape at him, “That was… impressive.”

He blushes a little but is serious as he says, “I can be so much more impressive, if you would just sit down, please.”

You squint at him but take his cock back in your hand, hovering over it again, you feel nervous to take him and you falter slightly. Just as you’re about to follow through, Raiden’s hands are on your hips, stopping you.

He looks concerned, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I am still a little worried about how large you are,” you’re genuinely fine, you are determined to take him.  

He strokes your thighs, “You do not have to–”

“–I am fine, I can take it, I will take it,” you cut him off, you can do this.

He shudders at your assertion, “Fine, just… take what you can, do not force it.”

“Mhm,” you mumble out dismissively, already looking down again.

His hand moves to your face and makes you look at him, “I mean it, do not force it.”

“Okay,” you answer him properly this time, knowing full well… you probably, might, definitely force it… just a bit.

He squints at you, inspecting you for a moment before letting your face go and allowing you to carry on. You notch the tip of his cock at your entrance, breathing deeply as you begin sinking down on him. Raiden grips your thighs, his breath faltering in his chest, all of his focus put into not slamming you down onto him. It’s slow going and the stretch aches, you bite your lip as to not make any noises, not wanting to sound completely pitiful.

Once you get the tip of him inside you, your hands move to hold onto his shoulders, keeping yourself stabilised. You need to wait a moment before you can continue, you need to adjust. Maybe gaslighting yourself will help, you can take him, he’s not even that big. Looking down to where his cock is sitting, you realise gaslighting did not help, a small whimper leaves you at the sight of his dick not even close to being fully inside you.

He strains himself to say, “Take it easy.”

Raiden rests his head back against the headboard, his eyes shut tight, pleasure crawls up his spine and he’s having the hardest time not fucking up into you right now. His stomach pulls taut, he could probably cum just like this, which embarrasses him beyond belief. What kind of grown man cums from this much? Oh, but he’s so on edge and you’re so warm and tight and wet and he could die now and be happy.

Almost out of spite, you drop down onto him more, forcing it only slightly, still not quite halfway but significantly more than before. The shock of it causes Raiden to moan loudly and raise his head to look at you, his hands gripping you, not allowing you to do that again. His eyes are angry and wet, he’s in disbelief at you.

He’s a bit breathless now because of you, “I just said to take it easy.”

“I know,” you mutter, looking down, eyes looking at how he’s stuffed inside you.

You’re distracted, he might be saying more but you raise yourself back up before sliding down on him again, fucking yourself on what you’ve managed to take. He chokes and whimpers at the feeling, his eyes also watching where his cock is gliding in and out of you, his hips want to chase you, he wants so much more. He settles for gripping your skin and watching how you leak onto his dick.

He lets you take your time; you take what you can, fucking yourself open on him, his heart beats hard in his chest at the scene in front of him, his eyes all glazed over. Looking at you, you’re doing no better, you’re all fucked out with the cutest, dumbest look on your face, eyes gooey and mind far away. The noises that leave him make his skin flush but he can’t stop, not with how you devotedly ride not even half of him, he’s genuinely worried you’re going to kill him.

Eventually, after working yourself up and down his cock for a bit, you manage to take half of him. You slip down and whine at the feeling of him being so deep in you, “I don’t –ngh– know if I can take it all.”

“Does not matter– just– do not stop,” his words are rushed and borderline begged, pleading with you to keep going.

You do keep going, continuing to take what you can. Raiden leans forward, his face resting between your breasts, his hands gripping you higher on your back, still refraining himself from thrusting up into you.

“You feel so good… so good, such a pretty girl, doing so well,” he’s mumbling mindlessly into your skin, “Taking me so nicely, make sweet little noises, love listening to you.”

He’s going to make you cum if he keeps complimenting you like that but based on the way he doesn’t stop, you think that may be his intent. Compliments and sugar-coated words leave his lips as you try to keep the pace you’ve set, you’re throbbing around him, you’re so unbelievably close and if it didn’t feel so good you might be a bit more ashamed over how much his words effect you.

“Mmm, gripping me so tight, so perfect, have such good reactions –hah– I know you are close,” he’s still speaking into your skin, one of his hands moves to your cunt, his thumb rubbing circles into your clit, “I want it,” he groans.

You gasp, nails clawing at his skin, he shocks an orgasm out of you, it takes you by surprise, you knew you were close but not that close. You want to grind into him, you need more, and in your hazy, needy fog, you take more of him, dropping down as far as you can go. The sudden, extremely full feeling has you moaning loudly, your orgasm shuddering up and down your spine. You rock down onto him, at this point, forcing yourself to take him all, the pain only adding to the extreme pleasure you’re experiencing.  

Raiden is holding you close, still not fucking up into you but whining under you, the pleasure he’s feeling taking over his mind. He can’t believe you did that; he can’t believe you forced yourself the whole way down his cock while cumming on him, he’s going to pass out. His dick is twitching, his teeth bared as he holds off on finishing.

Your limbs relax and you slump into him, your body trembling with the post orgasm shocks that run through you. Raiden pulls his head back to allow you the room to rest on him properly, his hands run up and down your back, soothing you, giving you time.

Being fully sat on him now is driving you mental, you’ve just cum on him and you’re greedy for more, he fills you so nicely, you feel so fucking full and it makes your head spin, “I can go again,” you promise, your hips grinding down into him.

He moans, surprised, “Take a break.”

You shake your head no at him, continuing to grind down onto him, it’s lazy and needy, basically only serving to try and pull another orgasm from you. It’s frustrating Raiden, he wants to go easy on you but you’re not letting him, you’re making his skin itch, he’s so fucking desperate for you and is still trying to be a gentleman, something you’re not appreciating. You’re being a brat but oh, it feels so good while you do, your walls hug him so firmly. His dick fully sheathed inside you is going to have him going insane.

He can’t take it anymore, the way you ardently rut down into him, eager for more, it pushes him over the edge. His hands grip your thighs and he readjusts his footing on the bed, giving himself leverage.

He speaks through gritted teeth, “Take a break, sit there and let me do it properly.”

You whimper at him and he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, memorising the sound you just made at him. He uses his new position to fuck up into you how he likes, how he needs, this is all he’s wanted. He just wanted to drag his thick cock through your tight walls how he liked and now that he can, it’s making him release strangled moans and whimpers.

All you can do is take what he’s giving you, his thrusts harsh and targeted, he knows exactly where to hit and it has you moaning and drooling onto his skin, your head tucked into his neck. You take the opportunity to suck a hickey into his skin, a particularly hard thrust from him makes you bite his skin lightly. He whines at the feeling, his dick jerking at the way you’ve dug your teeth into his skin.

You need him to know, “Rai –ngh– feel really –mmph– good–”

A shiver runs through him at your compliment, he turns his head to the side slightly and speaks lowly to you, “If I feel so good… cum again.”

You gasp at him, your mind reeling, he says the most shocking things, not even all the obscene, just completely shocking to you.

“So desperate for it,” he mumbles, mostly to himself, before directing to you, “Taking my whole cock so nicely, taking it all just like you said you would,” and then he adds something that devastates you, “Such a good girl.”

He’s done that on purpose, you know it, “Rai– I can’t– it feels–” It feels different, your orgasm is tightening all your limbs, your stomach flipping, your mind going foggy.

You try to move away from him, pulling back but he keeps fucking you how he likes, “It is fine, let it happen.”

He’s so sure that it’s fine and it convinces you that it is, you let it happen, you let your orgasm wash over you. It has you almost thrashing, your hands digging into his skin and your feet kicking against the bed as you silently scream, panted gasps leaving you as you squirt all over his lap. Raiden relishes in the way your eyes roll back and your body shakes, your cunt clutching and spasming around him so tightly he can barely fuck you through it.

One of your hands move to his hair and tugs him harshly, his head moving back with it, he moans loudly and his balls tighten. He doesn’t fight it this time, he lets himself cum, filling your pussy with his thick load, finishing so much that it leaks out around where he’s stuffed you full. His moans trail off into small whines until he takes a deep breath and calms down, his eyes watch how you leak your shared releases down into his lap.

Your eyes are bleary, wet with unshed tears, you’re not capable of cohesive thought and it feels like electricity thrums through your veins, jerking you every now and again. You feel like you might collapse backwards at any moment, it makes you grateful for Raiden’s hands on your hips, giving you some stability, enough to keep you upright anyways.

You look to Raiden and he smiles at you, “You look beautiful.”

You make a distressed sound at him as your cunt jumps but that just makes him wear an even larger smile, it reaches his eyes.

“You okay?” He asks.

“Mhm… I didn’t think– I didn’t think I could do that,” you slur, shocked at how he’s managed to do that to you.

“No one has ever made you squirt?” He says it so earnestly and it makes you feel shy.

You look away from him, “I hadn’t even cum from anyone else before Lao.”

“And how many times did he make you cum?”

You glare back at him, “Why?”

He smiles politely, “Why else? Want to compare.”

You frown at him, “This is not an analytical essay, we are not comparing and contrasting.”

He continues smiling at you, waiting patiently for the answer he knows you’re going to give him.

And you do, you concede to him and reveal, “Twice.”

You can feel the way he’s proud of himself for not only having you finish three times but also making you squirt. He changes the topic though, not pushing you, “I hope you know; this was not just sex to me.”

“…It wasn’t to me, either,” you look away from him.

You can’t bring yourself to tell him what you had realised earlier, you’re painfully aware of how much you feel for him, of how much you feel for both of them but you aren’t quite ready to have that conversation yet.

His hand guides your face back to look at him, “Hey, it is okay, I told you before, I would wait. If it is you… I can wait.”

You lean forward to hug him and he holds you back, he’ll hold you for as long as you need and you know that. He makes you feel so cared for, you won’t make him wait, even though you know he will, you won’t do that to him because he may be able to wait… but you can’t.

𝜗𝜚

Thank you for reading !!! I hope it was good and silly and that you had fun reading <3 if you have any thoughts, feeling, questions, don't hesitate to reach out !! have a beautiful day/night :3

[themsource]

Some pining fiddlestan? 👀

I was initially going to write some angsty post-show fiddlestan, but I did happen across the whole mystery trio concept where the pines twins and Fiddleford move to Gravity Falls together, so I went with that idea instead ^^;

Hope you like it! XD

Missed Opportunities

Fiddleford looks at Ford like a man possessed.

And Stan can’t stand it.

There had been only one other time that a third person had been involved in the Jersey duo’s lives with any amount of significance, and that had been Carla McCorkle. Stan and Ford had had only one argument about her, and that had been it.

Ford had been laid out, tooth chipped and lip bloody, and Stan had been left looming over him in shock at what he’d done as he’d stared down at his battered knuckles.

She’d been cut out of their lives before you could say ‘Bankrupt’.

Carla hadn’t been so much stolen by Thistle Downe as more like just given away.

Ford, his brother, always came first.

Family always won out over a piece of ass.

So now, even years later, Stan doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t comment on the way Fiddleford blushes as he hands Ford a beaker filled with some strange nerd liquid as their fingers lightly brush. He doesn’t make a face or snort at how obviously flustered the country boy gets in his stuttered responses to his elder by fifteen minutes but dumber in ways of romance by twenty, twin brother. 

No, Stan grits his teeth, and pretends he doesn’t see it. Like he’s looking through plexiglass that wouldn’t so much as budge if he were to dare do or say something about any of it.

He can tell Ford has no clue, or if he does, that he’s clearly not interested. Stanford had always gone on about how romance and marriage, commitment of any kind really, was a waste of time. Time better spent unraveling the secrets of the universe. The same bullshit he’s been sprouting since they were sixteen and Ford had been humiliated to the point of trauma with that damned kissing robot he’d built.

He doesn’t see what Stanley sees.

The slight hitch to Fiddleford’s grin when he finds a solution to a problem, how Fiddleford slightly purses his lips right before discreetly letting loose some chewed tobacco into a small silver cup, the mesmerizing way the sunlight hits Fiddleford’s hair just right to highlight all those fine blonde baby hairs along the back of his neck and bath him in a halo.

More than that though is Fiddleford’s laughter, his thick accent that goes the slightest bit thin when he’s shy or nervous, his blue irises that glimmer with faint specks of copper when he’s caught up in a joke or riddle he enjoys.

He can’t understand how his brother can’t see it.

Doesn’t realize the gift waiting for him on the doorstep if he bothered to open the damned door.

Stan’s gaze tracks Fiddleford as he follows in Ford’s footsteps across the lab, his hand dancing meticulously across his clipboard as he notes down everything his brother says with a blinding smile that could make a cherub green with envy.

When Ford looks down from the machine he’s building to meet Fiddleford’s gaze, Stan feels his stomach twist into a knot. Fiddleford’s lips slightly part as he listens, a silent invitation if any while his eyes widen in an excited bewitchment.

He can’t hear what they’re saying, but he doesn’t need to with how fast Fiddleford’s lips are moving, how high strung he is as he bounces on the balls of his heels and waves his hands around in what Stan knows to be gestures laden with scientific input and jovial emphasis.

The whole time Fiddleford never breaks eye contact with Ford, not even once.

Stanley doesn’t understand why Fiddleford can’t look at him like that. He looks exactly like Ford, if you could forgive the mullet and having an actual sense of style. Truth is, he wouldn’t mind playing second (heh) fiddle to Ford. Stan likes to think he’s charming enough that he could get the taller brunette to fall for him eventually, to see that special something that he obviously sees in Ford, but for entirely different reasons.

It’s such a fucking waste seeing such a handsome man pine after someone that he can’t have.

But on the off chance that Stanley is wrong…

If Ford maybe does notice, and maybe does feel something for Fiddleford…

He can’t afford to screw up by making a move. If there’s one thing he can’t live without it’s Stanford, even if he’s sure he could live without him.

Every day Stan questions if Ford’s invitation to move here to Gravity Falls with him had been of his own accord and not out of some misguided sense of pity, because too often is he left alone to his own devices, too often is he forgotten about over the course of weeks except by Fiddleford.

There’s something dark, and ugly, in his chest.

Stan hates it.

“Stan? Stanley?”

He jolts, his focus snapping back as he realizes Fiddleford is standing in front of him, his sky blue eyes filled with a silent concern that instantly takes that dark ugliness he feels and sends it packing to whatever hell it reared its ugly head from.

“Uh, yeah, w-what’s up Fidds?”

Fiddleford watches him quietly for a moment, long enough Stan feels the fine hairs on his arms raise in silent warning before he eventually smiles.

It’s not that thousand walt grin Ford receives, but it’s enough to make Stan’s heart skip.

“I was askin’ if ya wanted ta go down ta town with me. We need more copper-hyperdelic insulators for the paramensional timespinner.”

Stanley has no idea what Fiddleford just said but he acts like he does as he smirks, “Sure thing bud! We can get all the coppermensional spinners you want!” 

Fiddleford raises a brow, but then lets out that soft laugh that Stan likes so much.

“Well, sounds like a plan, we better get on gettin’ then.”

Stan lets Fiddleford lead the way, taking a moment to peer back towards his twin who for all the world is lost, rapt with attention on his journal and none the wiser to how Stanley stands in the doorway envying him.

A part of him almost wants Ford to look his way, a brooding possessiveness in his eyes as he watches Stan take off with Fiddleford into far distances where he can’t keep an eye on them, knowing and hating the fact that they’ll be alone.

But of course, he doesn’t.

What a waste.

Stan clenches his jaw as he follows Fiddleford out.

[skyward-floored]

Whumptober Day 26 - Nightmare, regret

Continuation to days 10 and 18, the culmination of the blood curse fics.

I’ve had parts of this written since September I’ve been so excited for it :) please enjoy.

Warnings: all of the same for the previous days, (a lot of) blood, aftermath of torture, severe injuries, violence... I think that’s all.

Ao3 link

Day 10

Day 18

————————————————————

Getting to the dungeons is no easy task.

Legend had been hoping Ganon would leave Hyrule unguarded, but he’d known immediately it was a fruitless sort of hope. He’s proven right as he, Warriors, and Wild all tear through the monsters flooding the hallways, armored knights, hulking moblins, dozens more creatures Legend doesn’t even recognize.

He’s beyond grateful the captain came along with them— Warriors’ crowd control is a truly beautiful thing.

Between the three of them they manage to work their way downwards, the halls growing darker, the stonework older. Legend’s palms sweat the further they go, heart thudding in his throat. The princesses said Hyrule was alive, and he believes them, but...

Is it possible they’re wrong?

Their voices are silent when he whispers a question, and Legend no longer feels the warmth of their connection. Ganon must have blocked them off again.

The Links fight past a group of moblins, and make their way down yet another flight of stairs, this one even darker than the others. A single lit torch meets them at the bottom, catching on shiny armor and glowing eyes, a hoard of darknuts standing before them. They’re all gathered tightly in front of a solid door, and Legend knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that that’s where Hyrule is.

If nothing else, the bright smear of blood on the door would be proof enough.

Nobody hesitates despite being grossly outnumbered, and they leap into battle yet again, the squad of dark knights meeting their swords with their own. Legend is focused solely on getting towards the door, but no matter how hard he tries he can’t get through.

The darknuts may be slow, but their numbers are vast, and their swings are wide. Whenever Legend tries to duck past, another sword swings for his head, another hulking body covered in armor blocks his path.

He lets out a snarl as he’s pushed away yet again. We don’t have time for this!

Warriors leaps in front then, separating a head from a darknut’s shoulders, and gives Legend a tense nod.

“I’ll clear a path. Get him out,” Warriors says with gritted teeth, forcing back a wave of enemies with a spin attack. Legend nods in return, and they plow their way towards the door together, Wild snapping off another hail of arrows before jumping into the fight with a claymore.

Legend spots something glittering on the belt of one of the knights, and he lunges forward, sliding under a blow and snatching the key at the same time. Warriors managed to create a small pocket of space by the door in the meantime, and Legend bolts for it, jamming the key in the lock and turning it with fumbling fingers.

The door creaks open, and Legend scrambles inside, Wild following close behind. Warriors slams the door shut behind them, staying outside, but Legend barely notices, staring at the center of the room with relief and horror crashing together in his chest.

They found Hyrule.

Wild makes a soft noise of distress, a hand covering his mouth as they both stare at their friend. Legend feels like he can’t move, his feet frozen to the floor as he stares at the nightmarish sight, bile rising in his throat.

Hyrule is silent and unmoving where he hangs off the floor, strung up like a rack of meat. Chains are clasped around his bony wrists that have him dangling a bit above the ground, and at least one shoulder looks dislocated from the stress.

He’s soaked in blood— Legend doesn’t even know how it’s possible for there to be so much blood on him, it’s like he took a bath in the stuff. Most of his skin is red, or brown with dried blood, and somehow despite the vast amount of blood he’s coated in, there’s still more steadily dripping from his wounds, and falling to land in a basin below. Legend almost vomits at the sight, and he hears Wild swallow thickly.

The longer Legend looks at Hyrule the worse it gets, his eyes catching on countless cuts and lashes, gouges and stabs. There’s fang marks on Hyrule’s neck, and his shoulder looks like something bit into it and pulled, the flesh torn nearly to the bone.

The realization that Ganon must have been drinking Hyrule’s blood straight from the source makes Legend’s vision go red with fury, but anger won’t serve him here, not now.

They need to get Hyrule out and safe, and then he can rip Ganon to pieces.

“Watch the door,” Legend finally manages to say, and Wild moves to stand by it, knuckles white where they grip his weapon. Legend hurries over to Hyrule, viciously kicking aside the basin that’s catching the blood dripping off his unmoving form, and it shatters, spilling red across the floor. He reaches a hand towards Hyrule, then hesitates, unsure of where even to begin.

He breathes out and lightly touches Hyrule on a part of his leg that seems mostly unscathed. The traveler twitches, a weak attempt at flinching away from him, and despite how small the movement is, it gives Legend a bit of hope.

“Hey ‘rule,” Legend whispers, keeping his hand on Hyrule’s freezing skin. “We’re here.”

I’m so sorry we weren’t sooner.

Hyrule doesn’t reply, doesn’t act like he even heard Legend’s voice. He doesn’t do anything except let out a broken whine as Legend stretches up to reach the chains and free him, and accidentally brushes an injury on his chest.

“Hey, just hold still,” Legend soothes in a voice he hopes doesn’t shake. He unlocks the chains as fast as possible, and then carefully catches Hyrule, the traveler letting out a weak moan as Legend lowers him to the ground.

Hyrule’s head lolls against Legend’s arm, blood trailing from his nose, his lips. If he hadn’t heard him make a noise mere moments ago, Legend doesn’t know what he’d think.

“Link?” he asks quietly, patting Hyrule’s cheek as he holds him in his arms. Hyrule doesn’t react, and Legend swallows back the terror beating wildly in his chest.

He’s alive. He’s alive.

You just need to keep him that way.

Legend breaths out, then pulls a fairy from his bag, hoping she’ll do some good. The moment the cork is out she rushes over to Hyrule with a jingly shriek, and sparkles fall onto his bloodstained chest, making blood shine in the light. The fairy spins in tight circles over him, a sweeping dance of healing, but... nothing seems to change.

The fairy chimes worriedly and tries again, but still nothing happens. No color returns to Hyrule’s cheeks, no wounds are sealed closed. His breath remains just as thin and rattling as before, and the fairy chimes a sad apology at her failure.

Legend looks at Hyrule, pale as death and stained red everywhere else, and breathes in sharply. The curse Zelda spoke of, the one where Ganon is drawing his power from Hyrule’s lifeblood.

It must be making healing magic ineffective.

“We’ll try again later,” he whispers to the fairy, and she actually zips back into the bottle, like she knows she’ll be needed.

Legend swallows, and looks down at Hyrule again, his friend looking like more of a corpse than anything.

“Link,” Legend whispers, thumbing away a dark glob of blood from his chin. “Come on Rulie, wake up.”

Hyrule shifts minutely at the gentle touch, his face twitching. A single green-brown eye that’s bloodshot and haunted drags open, the other too encrusted with blood, and takes a long moment to focus, staring blankly at Legend’s face. Something flickers in it, just barely, and Hyrule squints, his gaze trailing dully across Legend.

Then his eye widens.

He mouths Legend’s name, either too exhausted or too shocked to actually speak, but Legend nods, and briefly presses their foreheads together.

“It’s me. We’re here,” he whispers, holding Hyrule’s head with a shaking hand. His hair is greasy and almost entirely matted with blood, and Legend runs a careful hand through it. “It’s okay.”

Hyrule nearly collapses into the touch, shaking with a silent sob, and Legend doesn’t waste any time in lifting him up, uncaring of any stains he’ll receive from doing so. Hands fumble weakly as they attempt to hold on, and Legend simply adjusts his hold, running his hand through Hyrule’s hair again.

Hyrule tries to say something, but all that comes out is a rattling sound, choked and distraught.

“I know, it’s okay,” Legend murmurs, standing up with the utmost care. “Save your strength. We’re taking care of things.”

Hyrule looks at him with tears in his eyes, and then his breath shudders as he goes limp, energy spent. Legend quickly checks that he’s still breathing, then looks towards the door.

“Wild,” Legend calls, and the champion is at his side in an instant, face pale. “I can’t heal him, I think it’s the curse. How are things out there?”

“Not great, but I think we can get him out if we have to,” Wild stammers, still staring at Hyrule. “The captain cleared the worst of things, there’s only a few higher-level enemies now...”

He trails off, setting a hand on Hyrule’s head, and too many emotions to identify flicker in his gaze.

“All this in a week?” he whispers finally, and Legend swallows.

“I think it’s been longer for him.”

The cell is quiet for a moment as they digest that, the sounds of battle outside muffled by the thick door. Legend shakily breathes out, then straightens his shoulders, shifting his hold on Hyrule.

“Okay. We need to break whatever’s tying him to Ganon,” he says, shoving away the distress at seeing Hyrule so broken. Legend kneels back down, and grabs a cloth from his pouch, dumping some water on it. “Look for a mark, a weird injury, anything out of the ordinary. I’ll see if I can find it magically.”

Wild nods, and Legend hands him the cloth so he can clean Hyrule up enough to actually see his skin. Then he gently places a hand on Hyrule’s forehead, sending out a little flicker of magic.

As expected, instead of Hyrule’s magic meeting his flicker with its own, Legend’s is lost in an abyss, deep and black and red. Legend hisses at the feel of it, dark and ugly, and he gets a small but intense flash of the sheer pain Hyrule is in, injuries that won’t close, blood eternally dripping from them, a curse constricting his spirit and sapping him dry.

Keeping him alive for the sole purpose of enhancing Ganon’s power.

Legend harshly breathes out, and carefully reaches around it, prodding lightly at the perimeter, trying to locate the source. It takes him a long time, and he and Wild speak at the same time.

“There.”

Legend opens his eyes, and sees that Wild is pointing to the same spot he is, right over Hyrule’s heart. Wild wiped away enough blood that they can both see the mark on his skin, something shaped vaguely like a handprint. It’s like a warped version of the one over Ganon’s heart, angry and red, and glowing just a bit, and Legend swallows.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he breathes, setting a careful hand over the mark. Hyrule twitches, face screwing up, and Legend quickly draws back again. “Now we just need to figure out how to break it.”

A loud clang comes from outside the cell, and Legend and Wild both jump.

“...I think that’ll have to wait,” Wild says with a frown, and Legend nods, pulling Hyrule more into his arms again and carefully standing. “...You have him?”

“Yeah,” Legend replies, adjusting Hyrule as gently as possible. Hyrule’s head lolls. “He’s... not that heavy.”

Oh Hyrule, I’m so sorry.

Legend barely finishes the thought when the door explodes open, and Warriors goes flying across the floor, nearly hitting Wild. Wild grabs his shoulder in alarm, and a darknut appears in the doorway, a black one.

“You okay?” Legend asks quickly, and Warriors spits blood out of his mouth as he stands. He’s got a few more injuries than before, but nothing that looks too major.

“I’ll live. Hyrule?” Warriors asks in return, eyes going wide as he quickly scans the limp figure in Legend’s arms.

“Alive,” Legend reports grimly. “He won’t stop bleeding, and a fairy didn’t work. Ganon’s doing. From what I could tell, their connection is keeping him alive but stopping any healing.”

Warriors’ face twists briefly with emotion, and he sets a few quick fingers under Hyrule’s chin, obviously feeling his pulse. Legend sees the captain’s shoulders droop just a little in relief after a second, and he runs a hand over Hyrule’s head before drawing back. Warriors retrieves his sword, turning back towards the enemy, and rushes forward to meet the darknut’s weapon with his own.

Wild grabs his bow again as another appears behind the first, and Legend clutches Hyrule to his chest, mentally apologizing as Hyrule’s breath hitches. They need to wrap his wounds, figure out if they can heal him at all, break whatever curse Ganon has tied them together with, but it’s not safe here.

It’s not safe anywhere.

“What if we get him away from the castle?” Legend thinks out loud, staying close to Wild. “Maybe distance will weaken Ganon enough for the others to stop him.”

“You want us to just leave them here?” Wild asks in dismay, and Legend swallows.

“You have any better ideas?”

“I don’t like it,” Warriors grits out as he blocks a wide swing. “But you may be right. Leaving might be our only option.”

“No.”

The voice that speaks is barely there, and Legend and Wild both startle, looking at Hyrule. Somehow he looks even paler than before, but there’s a desperate gleam in his eye, cracked open again.

“No?” Legend repeats as Warriors finally kills the first darknut and falls back to their small formation.

“No. Get... me, to him,” Hyrule rattles, breathing labored. “Ga...non...”

“Are you insane? Absolutely not,” Warriors replies, wiping some blood off his brow with a fierce look. “Hyrule you can’t walk, you’d be a sitting duck in there. And no offense, but you’re essentially a living Ganon battery at the moment. The last place you should be is anywhere near him.”

“Need... get,” Hyrule insists, voice breaking with exhaustion. “Break the, c’nne...ction...”

Legend pauses, and looks straight at Hyrule. “You know how to break it?”

Hyrule weakly nods.

“A... guess,” he rattles, his eye closing again. “P...lease. Need to... fi...”

He doesn’t manage to finish, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth, but Legend can guess what he was going to say.

Fix my mistake.

For a moment, the only noise in the cell is that of Warriors and Wild keeping the darknuts back, Legend rifling in his pouch for a weapon he can use while holding Hyrule.

“I think we should take him.”

Wild is the one who speaks up, and Legend looks over at him as he fights. His face is twisted with an emotion Legend doesn’t entirely recognize, but there’s understanding in it. Of the need to stop something you were unable to defeat before, to fix what was broken because of you. Make up for a failure.

Wild knows what that’s like.

“If anyone can break it, it’s Hyrule,” Wild continues, eyes steely. “We should give him that chance. And the others will need us, we can’t leave them to fight alone.”

Legend catches Warriors’ eye, and the captain looks torn as he dodges an attack, looking at Hyrule, unconscious again.

“I think we have to,” Legend finally admits, hating the idea of bringing Hyrule anywhere near the monster painted in his blood, and yet... knowing it needs to happen.

“I think you’re right,” Warriors agrees quietly.

His faces gets even more fiercely determined, and Warriors turns to face the darknuts at the door, scarf rippling out behind him. He stays beside Legend, Wild on his other side, and Legend pulls out an ice rod, even knowing he might not be able to use it while carrying Hyrule, but feeling better with a weapon in his grip.

“Okay. We’ll get you there,” Legend says as he stands, even though Hyrule is unconscious and doesn’t hear him.

And without another word, they rush at the monsters.

(...)

Fighting their way back to the throne room is easier than leaving it was, but still isn’t easy. They killed most of the beasts on the way down, but more come to take their place, and they’re down a fighter now.

And also trying to protect Hyrule, who is an instant target.

Legend occasionally manages a blast from his ice rod despite the weight in his arms, freezing a monster’s footsteps, actually destroying a few fire-based enemies. But mostly he stays close to Warriors and Wild, keeps Hyrule out of the line of fire, and tries not to think about how sticky and damp his tunic is starting to feel.

It’s a good thing it’s already red.

Hyrule must be stuck somewhere between unconsciousness and clarity, for his eye flickers now and then, and Legend sometimes feels his hands try to weakly hold on to him. At one point he looks down and sees a tear making its way through the dirt and blood, and Legend swallows thickly before wiping it away.

He wants nothing more than to take Hyrule far away from all of this, but they can’t. Legend knows better than most about attempts to escape destiny, and he has a funny feeling this is one of those times.

Whether he likes it or not, Hyrule has to face Ganon.

Red light spills across their faces as they come up from the dungeons, crimson rays falling through the window. Hyrule twitches when it falls on him, and lets out a soft moan, face screwing up in pain. Legend turns his back to the light, and the three of them hurry back towards the throne room, Hyrule’s breath rasping more the closer they get.

The door is still open from earlier, and they charge in, Warriors and Wild standing in front of Legend like bodyguards. Legend quickly surveys the battle they’re now in the middle of, and winces.

The room is in much worse of a state than before, windows shattered, cracks in the floor, a small hole blasted into the wall. Four is lying unmoving at the base of a pillar, blood on his back, and Twilight is defending him against any stray magic or blows. Wind and Sky are working in tandem trying to keep Ganon distracted, Time on their heels, and it looks like they’ve had some small luck in actually hitting him.

They’re all bloodied though, and obviously drained, and Legend knows they wouldn’t have lasted much longer.

Ganon swings his trident in a huge thrust, forcing the heroes attacking him to retreat, and turns on the returned group, his face furious. But the moment his eyes land on Hyrule, the fury is replaced by surprise.

And then pure glee.

“You brought him right to me?” Ganon howls with laughter, a malicious grin stretching his mouth wide. Hunger glints in his gaze. “I should be thanking you, I’m in need of refreshment.”

“You’ll have to go through all of us first,” Legend spits, grip tightening on Hyrule.

Ganon’s laughter booms, and Hyrule jerks in Legend’s arms, eye shooting open at the sound. Sky takes advantage of the distraction, leaping forward and managing to slice the master sword right across Ganon’s shoulders. The blade shines and Ganon howls, whirling around inhumanly fast and hitting the side of Sky’s head with his trident.

A deafening crack rings through the room and Sky goes sprawling, landing in a motionless, bloodied heap on the ground. The master sword clatters against the stone, Sky and Ganon’s blood staining it, and the battle immediately kicks back into high gear.

Someone runs for Sky, Legend doesn’t notice who. Four starts to get back to his feet, shaking, but awake.

And Ganon turns towards Legend, yellow eyes fixed on Hyrule.

The other heroes immediately jump to his defense as Legend scrambles backwards, and Hyrule makes that horrible wet rattling sound again, like his lungs are rotting inside of him. Legend looks down and Hyrule looks up, expression frantic through the pain.

“Sword...” he says with a wet cough, spattering more blood on his chin. “Sky’s... the...”

“Got it,” Legend says firmly, and before he can overthink his newly-made plan, thrusts Hyrule into Warriors’ arms, his own hands sticky with blood. “I’ll get the sword, you play keep away.”

Warriors nods, then holds Hyrule tight to his chest, staying behind the others and running whenever Ganon gets anywhere close. Legend sprints for all he’s worth to the other side of the room, never more grateful for his pegasus boots as they glide across the stone. He skids to a stop beside Wind, the sailor’s eyes damp as a fairy finishes up on Sky, his eyes already fluttering open.

“You okay?” Legend asks in alarm, and Sky slurs an affirmative, dizzily raising himself to a sitting position.

Wind looks extremely relieved, and Legend grabs the master sword, her steel cool and warm all at the same time. “Is Hyrule..?” Wind asked nervously, and Legend stands back up.

“He’s alive. We’re working on the rest, he needs the Master Sword,” he replies quickly, before sprinting back to where Ganon is trying to plow through the heroes. He dodges a blast of magic and a wide trident swing, and pulls up short beside Warriors, Hyrule’s breath coming in short, quick gasps.

“Here,” he offers, and presses the hilt into Hyrule’s hand. Hyrule’s working eye goes wide, and he grasps weakly at it, the master sword lighting up.

Ganon stumbles, then roars, more deafeningly than ever before. Legend sees the mark on Hyrule’s chest glow, the traveler’s face screwing up in pain, and Ganon storms towards them, eyes blazing.

“She’s working on breaking it, keep him busy!” Legend yells, then runs for Ganon, ducking under an attack and trying to hit his face. The others get the hint, and they rush Ganon, trying to overwhelm him through sheer numbers.

All they need is to keep him busy until the master sword is done breaking the curse.

Warriors stays back, always moving, always staying as far away from Ganon as possible, occasionally handing Hyrule over to someone else. The master sword grows steadily brighter, and Legend can hear Hyrule’s struggling breaths from across the room.

Ganon’s face only grows more enraged, and his attacks get faster, harder, more desperate. Hope flickers in Legend’s chest, and he even manages to score a hit on Ganon’s arm, the beast reeling back with a snarl. By the three, this might actually work.

He never should have had the thought.

Ganon’s eyes glint maliciously, and he goes invisible, blood and all. Legend freezes, as do most of the others, their shields up and ready. But none of them anticipate the burst of magic that spreads out like an explosion, launching them all backwards with a concussive force.

Legend is thrown to the ground, ears ringing, but he still hears a cry that makes his blood run cold.

He struggles to sit up, and sees a crystalline barrier blocking off part of the room, Ganon sneering inside of it.

And Hyrule on the ground a few paces away, unmoving.

“No!” Legend yells, lurching to his feet and slamming his sword against the barrier. It knocks him backwards, and Time catches him, both of them almost falling over.

Vaguely Legend registers Warriors also on the ground, Four helping him up, the others struggling to their feet and gasping in alarm, but he’s too busy running wildly through plans in his head, options and items and desperate, stupid things coming to mind.

“You must have known it would end this way,” Ganon grins, stalking closer to Hyrule. His voice seems slightly strained. “Your friends dying around you, you at my mercy yet again. Your shadow has proved more useful than I thought.”

Of course this is all his fault, Legend thinks furiously, slamming his sword against the barrier and getting launched back again.

Hyrule tries to scrabble backwards, but he can’t move fast enough, and Ganon stops him by putting a hoof on his chest.

“Shall I show your friends what I showed your princesses?” Ganon leers, his hoof pressing down. Legend swears he hears something crack, and more blood bubbles at Hyrule’s mouth, the traveler letting out a choked shriek. “That you’re nothing more than a slave, a failure.”

“Don’t listen to him!” Legend yells with the others, blindly grabbing weapons from his pack and slamming them at the barrier. Nothing makes so much as a dent.

Hyrule’s shaking all over as Ganon speaks, but his grip is still firm on the master sword, open eye blazing. He drags it closer to him, and Ganon makes no move to stop him, amusement on his face.

“What are you going to do with that, little hero?” he sneers, licking his tongue along his fangs. “Going to kill me? You can try all you want, but I’ll always return. I have an endless supply of blood, and it will bring me back no matter what you do, or how hard you try to stop it—”

Legend almost misses it it’s so fast.

One moment Ganon is leaning towards Hyrule, his fangs bared wide, and the next, the master sword is buried in his throat, almost up to the hilt.

Blood drips from between his teeth, and Ganon looks down at Hyrule in shock, the traveler gripping the hilt with all he’s worth.

“And I,” Hyrule gasps, obviously using every ounce of strength he possesses to hold onto the sword, “will kill you, every... single... time.”

Ganon howls, lurching backwards, Hyrule’s grip lost. A spurt of blood comes from his mouth in a hacking cough, eyes wild and enraged, and a deafening roar shakes the room, shattering any windows that aren’t already broken.

There’s a blinding flash, a shockwave rippling across the room. The barrier breaks as Ganon collapses, and Legend bolts, scraping his knees as he falls beside Hyrule’s limp form.

“Link,” he says frantically, Hyrule pale and limp as Legend tries to find his raspy breathing. The mark on Hyrule’s chest is just a pale scar now, but Legend doesn’t care. “Link don’t you dare, you’re not allowed to put us through this again!”

Legend feels for a pulse with shaking hands, checking his wrist, his chin, anything. Hyrule’s chest is still, eyes closed, expression slack. Legend lifts his upper half onto his lap, checking for any signs of life, but the horrible rasping has stopped, heartbeat stilled.

Blood still drips from his wounds, but it feels more final, more like his life is what’s trickling out. The curse isn’t unnaturally keeping him alive anymore.

Hyrule’s gone.

Legend can’t stop the sob that bursts from his throat, the emotion of everything suddenly hitting full-force.

“No, no no— no,” Legend chokes out, clutching Hyrule to his chest, pressing his face against his shoulder. Blood smears on his face, and Legend sobs again, unable to hold it back. “No— I’m sorry Rulie, I’m—” I’m sorry I left you this mess, I’m sorry we weren’t faster, I’m sorry we couldn’t get to you I’m sorry I’m sorry—

Legend doesn’t know how much of anything he’s said out loud, but he doesn’t care, tears mixing with blood. Ganon lets out another dying howl, and someone’s hand sets on Legend’s shoulder, heavy with grief.

Something shifts at his side, and Legend doesn’t even notice, he’s so lost in the nightmare. It’s not until pink drifts into his vision that he realizes what’s happening.

Legend startles, raising his head, and sees the fairy from earlier hovering in front of his face.

“Can...” Legend rasps, barely daring to hope.

It didn’t work before, but now..?

The fairy chimes, and her glow brightens, lighting up tearstained faces. The others are all gathered around Hyrule, some keeping an eye on Ganon as he dies, but otherwise focused on the fairy, and their missing member.

She dances over him again, sparkles drifting from her like pink flurries of snow. They shine on tears and blood, disappearing as they touch Hyrule’s skin, and Legend watches through damp eyes, barely daring to breathe.

The fairy finishes, letting out a bright chime, her wings fluttering. She wobbles over to Warriors’ shoulder and sits, and then... Hyrule moves.

Legend jumps, realizing now that some of Hyrule’s wounds have been closed. He’s still a disaster, and the fairy could only fix a few of the very worst injuries, and not fully, but it worked. Legend holds a shaking hand on Hyrule’s cheek, and then the traveler’s eye slowly blinks open again.

Legend lets out the breath he’s been holding in one huge exhausted exhale, the end hitching in a relieved sob. He clutches Hyrule tight, and the others press in around them, warm hands and relieved sighs, exhausted sniffles and hiccups. There’s relieved crying in the back of Legend’s mind too, and he knows the princesses are safe.

“He’s gone..?” Hyrule rattles after a minute, and Legend nods, sniffing horribly as he wipes his nose on his sleeve. He smears blood and tears and all sorts of gross things around, but he’s already covered in blood and dirt anyway.

“He’s gone,” he confirms in a thick voice, still holding Hyrule tight. “He’s gone. You did it, Link.”

A trembling laugh comes from his arms, thick and sniffly and weak. It fades into a hysterical sob, and they don’t say anything more, Hyrule clutching weakly at Legend, Legend running a few shaking fingers through his hair. The others press in again, holding them tight, and Hyrule only looks up once at where their enemy used to stand.

Ganon is nothing but a pile of ashes, the Master Sword glowing softly atop the pile.

[yanderenightmare]

any more writing advice? the last one was so helpful!

Writing Advice, Part Two

oh yeah, for sure!

I covered improving language and wording in the last post.

In this post, I'll first focus on constructing balanced sentences and text and then move on to more fundamentals of story writing, mainly the power of persuasion.

Alternate the length of your sentences. Here’s an example from an old post of mine: “He’s bad. He doesn’t try to be, but he’s lost count of how many times he’s promised to be better, only to break someone's heart. He’s controlling and possessive, prone to jealousy and harsh words. He can’t handle seeing something that’s supposed to be his with someone else—be it a friend, a coworker, or even the fucking cashier at the supermarket. He just can’t accept it. In his rational, he knows it’s beyond stupid, but his gut still fizzles with rage, and his heart twists and hardens up like a fist—he just can’t help it. His emotions are stronger than his reason.”  Notice how the sentences alternate from short to long, then longer and short again? This gives it that rhythm that makes it smoother to read. If all the sentences were long, it would be tedious and tiring to read, and if all the sentences were short, it would feel bumpy, like someone was constantly hitting the breaks.

Additionally, if we take the same example and you’re like me and enjoy running sentences, you’ll want to create this rhythm with pauses such as em dashes and commas to help the reader slow down. Em dashes are also perfect for introducing a character's thoughts, like this: “Manicured hands tussled in his pretty white locks, pulling on him while sucking each other’s faces, leeching off the feeling of his hands grabbing your waist—oh god, it feels good to be wanted again.”

Another standard piece of advice is to avoid starting your sentences with the same word. Especially when you’re writing actions, it’s easy to fall into the habit of “He did this. He did that. He said this. You reacted like this. You responded like that. You then did this.” but as you’re getting annoyed reading this, it’s safe to say it’s not a very good habit. Example:  “C’mon—you’re angry, aren’t you?” he asks with a quirked brow. He pauses for a moment, then states, “What better way to stick it to him than fucking the hottest guy around?” You’re stunted by this. You suppose that had been exactly what your objectives were tonight, unknowingly and much to your shame. You can at least find some mediocre solace in your next words. “I’m not that kinda girl,” you confess. It’s kind of awkward to read, right? Here it is again, fixed: “C’mon—you’re angry, aren’t you?” he asks with a quirked brow. “What better way to stick it to him than fucking the hottest guy around?” It stunts you. Suppose that had been your exact objectives tonight, unknowingly and much to your shame. At least you can find some mediocre solace in your next confession, for as it turns out, “I’m not that kinda girl.” It’s smoother, isn’t it? It’s essentially the same sentences relaying the same actions and inner thoughts, but with rearranged words making it just the right amount of different.

Also, trust your reader! In the same example, you can see that unnecessary sentences and words have been scrapped as they’re already implied by context. Let your readers read between the lines! Too much explanation becomes tedious, especially when that information isn’t all that important.

Additionally, in the same spirit, you need to be careful where you put your details. Of course, you can approach a scene by vividly explaining everything, from character A’s freckles to the tiny scar they have on their chin or the fact that they have pierced ears but aren’t wearing any earrings. All of that detail is nice, and there are times to get into it, but if it serves no purpose to the current scene then it shouldn’t be brought up. If said character A is being observed by character B, then those descriptive details serve a purpose. But if character A is at home, then those details become redundant. Your reader is always looking for clues, so when the writer throws in details and descriptions that serve no value, it’s only going to confuse the reader—worst case, even pull them out of the story. “Character A is as kind as she is beautiful—everybody who knows her loves her. Oh, and she has a dog.” Unless that dog serves a purpose in the story, it’s an unnecessary detail. The same goes for giving your characters specific outfits and such. Facts without further value should be taken away. They only serve to distract the reader and distort the writing.

This next tip is kind of complex, but it pertains to a story’s power of persuasion. It goes without saying that any story’s main goal is to convince the reader of its characters and plot integrity and credibility. In layman's terms, shit has to make sense. For example, you can’t introduce character A as a bully without reason, nor can you suddenly give them an unexplained or inconsistent soft side. Even though we enjoy bullies with a soft side. You need to sell us the narrative and answer our curiosities. Why is he a bully? Why is he nicer to character B? What makes character B special? Try to fill as many plotholes as you can, and if not, then address their absurdity or try to avoid making them in the first place. Examples of this: Filling the plothole—A bullies because of his inferiority complex caused by his obvious lack of academic skill, but B is A’s childhood friend and is therefor the only one spared. (Here, everything is given a reason behind it.) Addressing the plothole—B doesn’t know why A bullies the way he does nor why he’s different with them… he’s just always been that way. (Here, things are still shrouded in mystery, but since we’re seeing it from B’s perspective, it makes sense that we wouldn’t know the whole story.) Avoiding the plothole—A’s a born bully. Growing up the way he did, it would be surprising if he ended up any different. A doesn’t treat B any different—they’re just another loser making themselves an easy target. However, unexpectedly, B fights back. A is flabbergasted by this new development. An interest in B blossoms in A. (This one is similar to filling the plothole, but instead of providing backstory, it makes a plot out of what would have been a pothole.)

I tend to see plotholes like this in a lot of character-x-reader fanfics. They usually stem from a writer's decision to treat the reader as someone special without giving them any characteristics or extraness that would make them special in that universe. “Character A was captivated by readers beauty in a single glance,” isn’t very convincing or satisfying or any amount of original. Of course, it depends! Though there are exceptions, usually, banking the entirety of character A’s obsession with reader on their looks is relatively boring and questionable. Again, in laymen’s terms, it just doesn’t make much sense—after all, there are a million other fish in the sea. What makes the reader's beauty any different from any other person on the street? This is the unanswered question readers will be left with. Even though it would be nice to believe my beauty trumps everyone else's—it isn't very believable. As such, the story loses it's power of persuasion. So! Make the reader special in ways that would make them different in the universe you’re writing—and not something so superficial or unconvincing such as their unmatched looks. That being said, it doesn’t need to be anything groundbreaking and nor should it, as that as well can break the fragile element of believability we’re trying to maintain. Don’t make reader the most special person in the world—that’s cringe and otherwise unconvincing. Avoid this by lowering the bar and making them special to character A specifically, not the entire universe.

Here are some examples of this with characters from fandoms:

BNHA To Bakugou, Deku, and Overhaul, a quirkless reader would be special. To Shinso and Aizawa, a reader with a cat quirk would be special. To Shigaraki, a reader with a nullification quirk would be special. To Hawks, a reader with a bird quirk would be special. To any of the characters, a reader with a quirk that compliments, contrasts, or is similar would be special.

JJK To Gojo, Sukuna, and Mahito, for different reasons, a reader with a nullification technique would be special. To Geto, a reader without cursed energy (monkey) would be special. To any of the characters, a curse reader would be special. Especially if you make them compliment the characters. Example text here.

Here are some other classic examples:

Childhood friends Rivals Roommates Neighbors Brother or sister's friend Classmates Coworkers B works at a place A frequents Assignment partners Arranged marriage

Also, dynamic contrasts work well:

Royalty x commoner Jock x nerd Boss x secretary Beauty x beast

More examples of tropes here

Now, I’m not saying a reader has to be made special. Character A can like them for any dull reason, such as accidentally bumping into them on the street. But! If you’re going to preach about how special the reader is, then there had better be a better reason than “they’re prettier and kinder than everyone else,” as that feels superficial, boring, and most importantly, unbelievable.

I suppose, especially when it pertains to this, believability is a lot related to what's relatable. If your reader-character is the kindest, most beautiful person in the world, then your readers' relatability to that character is most likely drastically stretched. And maintaining the power of persuasion becomes hard.

Again, there are exceptions to this! Sometimes it works! Sometimes, that's the fantasy, and it's done perfectly!

But! Just food for thought, you can always ask yourself, “Is this convincing? Do the characters and their actions make sense? Are there any details that are there just for fun? Do they serve a purpose? Does anything feel out of place, awkward, or cringe?”

Asking these questions and altering your story depending on the answers will help you maintain your story's power of persuasion, which tends to separate good writing from unfinished writing riddled with plotholes and tedious information.

[aco1yte]

hiiiii lev :3 u literally just made a whole page but if u drew any more johanna i will go absolutely insane & hurt myself and others. please.

Johanna’s victor interview costume concept :333333 I was very excited to post this because I spent an ungodly amount of time designing it so if you don’t wanna see the insane ramblings of a huge nerd just skip the entire next section but here are my original concepts, moodboard, inspiration, and symbolism in the final costume:

Here is everything I wrote at the moment of conceptualizing my thoughts (apologies if it’s incomprehensible)

“I’ve been thinking About how katniss’ victor interview dress is specifically designed in a certain way to make her look the most innocent and to explain her actions in the arena . And I was like omg. What would Johanna’s stylist do now that she’s totally different than when she entered ?? So.

Ok so basically they explain in catching fire that Johanna’s whole ‘strategy’ was to act really afraid and small until it came down to it and she was actually really strong because of all her time chopping trees or whatever .. But Johanna was only 17 when she won her games and I think more likely she was scared into it, since district 7 is a poor district and she definitely wasn’t a volunteer. But the capitol was OBSESSED with her uncharacteristic brutality in the arena and basically made it her brand, ppl liked it so much that they attempted to do something (probably traffic her) which she refused and they killed her whole family and everyone that mattered to her.

But if I was a rich capitol stylist and I wanted to capitalize on the way she killed the other tributes (which was hacking them with a battle axe) I would use her interview costume the same way cinna used katniss’ to accentuate her innocence, but in the opposite way ? If that makes sense. Like they would want to make her look as intentionally brutal and cruel as possible bc that’s what they sold after her victory (like finnick’s sexual promiscuity or Peeta and katniss’ unconditional love), and in fact it was so successful that before getting to know her katniss says she seems like she genuinely enjoys murdering people. So I wanted her dress to accentuate the way she would have looked in her worst moments, covered in like the parts of the other tributes bc that’s how she’s remembered.

Also I really like those frilly collars on her bc they’re pretty and couture but at the same time it’s so subtly insulting because it somehwat insinuates that she needs to be collared like a violent animal (even though she only did what she was forced to) (…)”

@kozuelovemail this is for you. You sparked me into this insanity