#but there are too many obstacles. and I genuinely don't feel the need to be in a relationship with a real person right now. hem hem.

[intuitively-her]

You've been through many trials and tribulations that have only made you stronger! I'm getting specifically that you don't look like the things you've been through. From the outside, you actually look perfect, or your lifestyle does. People would never know the sacrifices it took for you to get here though. Most people wouldn't have even made it through some of the obstacles that you've faced. I also get the vibe that you're very reserved with your energy. Kinda like you don't speak unless spoken to. Not in a bad way though. You could be an ambivert. ENTJ? INFJ? You don't have to do the most to get attention, it comes natural to you. You know how to stand alone. Never been a "follow the leader" type. Your balance and stability are surprising as well. It could be because of your age. Or maybe you used to live a reckless lifestyle but managed to pull yourself out of it. I feel like you have a tendency to go ghost for awhile, but then randomly pop out on some new sh*t. People can never keep up with you. You're an enigma. It kinda frustrates people tbh.😂 On the flip side, you are very loving to those closest to you. You always trust yourself and follow your heart to wherever it leads you. You are your top priority and will always make sure your cup is full before giving to someone else. If your love is not being reciprocated, then you will simply leave. Your love is intense.❤️‍🔥 You could be a gift-giver or you enjoy doing acts of kindness. You always know what to do/say at the right moment. Lastly, your star qualities are VERY attractive to others.🤩 You're so humble about it too. You could be an influencer or have an active presence on social media. You have a lot of copycats and people that try to emulate your energy. It never really sticks though.

Confirmations: Confident, Intellectual, 777, Sarcastic, Smart-ass, Mixed signals, Intimidating, 1010, Charming, Promiscuous, Friendly, Competitive, Creative

You always find a way to turn your pain into power! It doesn't matter how many hardships you face, you never let it keep you down. You're always onto the next best thing. Always looking towards the future. Someone here likes to take solo-trips often or you enjoy hiking/being in nature. You often come up creative ideas or new ways to make money. Always willing to learn something new. That trait of yours is highly admired by your bosses/higher-ups. You work very well with others. When people work with you, it quite literally increases their luck and money flow. So be mindful of who you share that energy with. You are such a kind and loving individual, even at your lowest. Give yourself more credit boo!❤️ You're very committed to your self-improvement and personal goals no matter what you go through. That's something to be proud of.

Confirmations: Famous, Sexy voice, 111, Friendly, Funny, Someone here has a cat that is very clingy, 444, Pretty skin, Hermoine from Harry Potter, Elusive, Life of the party, Genuine, Beautiful, Seeing 8's everywhere, Someone here owns an exotic animal or you want one

You know how to transmute any negative energy/situation that is sent your way. You are an alchemist. This is my witchy pile.🔮 You like to play fair and see both sides in situations. Very unbiased. However, you'll also put a b*tch in their place if needed. Cause I'm getting that people like to come into your energy to test/bully you for some reason. But you shut that sh*t down real quick.✅ You may be very introverted, or you have this innocent/naive vibe to you. A lot of people blindly trust you. They know you would never try to cross them. You're a big risk taker. You might do something unconventional for work. People love how you march to the beat of your drum always. You might spend a lot of time alone or you keep a close-knit group of friends. You're not afraid to stand alone whatsoever. Nobody can steal your happiness. That is what's most powerful about you.⭐

Confirmations: Genuine, 911, 818, Mysterious, Intoxicating, 717, Witch, Self-absorbed, Pretty eyes, 737, 777, Uptight, Predator, Intellectual, Elusive

You're more than what meets the eye. From the outside, you seem very shy or monotonous even. But you're a true gem baby.💎Your charisma and charm is one of a kind. You stand out without even realizing it. Your wit and sarcasm is very attractive. You have a very unbothered vibe to you. In your own lane, and outta the mix. It makes me think of "Daria". You might go ghost pretty often. You're very big on self-care and your alone time. On the go a lot. ✈️People feel like they can't get ahold of you anymore. You're very focused on self these days. Me vs. me kinda energy. You're a natural creator. Very artistic and out of the box. You might've been this way since childhood. You're often the topic of discussion to those around you. People really enjoy having you around, whether you know this or not. You're a sweetheart once you truly open up. People feel lucky that they took the time to get to know you. You're a true friend.🩷

Confirmations: Clingy, 111, Wife, Light skin tone, 222, One night stand, Player, 999, Mixed signals, Addict, Psychic, Lazy, Outgoing, Eccentric

💖Please do not copy, repost, or steal my work. Thanks!💖

I missed you guyss xx!!🩷🩷🩷

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ mini pac ｡⋆｡ ﾟ

random tarot messages

150 word readings <3

these are bite sized tarot messages with no specific questions being answered, just leaving things to chance and hopefully getting you a piece of knowledge from the cards.

pngs by @florietas

dividers by @aquazero and @cafekitsune

pile one pile two pile three

pile four pile five pile six

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‧͙˚ *༓ scroll down for the readings ⋆ִ ‧͙⁺˚

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〰 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 〰

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number one 𓂃⊹

page of wands

It's a good moment to reevaluate the source of your opinions and ideas, as soon you will feel a streak of creative energy and it'd be good to build stronger ideas before you begin to place them in reality or to manifest them onto it. Also an amazing moment to look for connections between the mundane and the divine, not waiting for explicit answers but instead, you should expect the way in which you ask questions to allow for more profound relationships with knowledge. Ideally, you’d channel your creativity in a way that enhances your freedom and expands your possibilities instead of imposing complex dogmatic beliefs to yourself.

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number two 𓂃⊹

the empress

Allow yourself to get in touch with the things that come naturally to you instead of forcing yourself to align with actions that are too detrimental for them to bring any actual value or positive impact in your life. I wouldn't take this card into the “divine feminine” approach to things, as it seems more like a calling to nurture your inner world and your personal environments by being in tune with what is genuine to you, and to the way in which you bring value for yourself. I think you are underestimating the valuable qualities you possess and how your energy can be channeled and empowered by just paying more attention to what you deem as “low effort” but can be “high effort” to others. Don't shy away from being confident in your virtues. 

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number three 𓂃⊹

five of wands 

Avoiding conflict at all costs is not ideal, but engaging in conflictive situations guided by your ego is no good either. Sadly, you will be provided with said tense situations so it's better that you take the time to think about how you process feelings of anger, stress and insecurity. You need to be as aware of your own feelings as much as you are capable of deciphering how others might deal with them, especially if their approach to them is outwardly aggressive. There's nothing completely wrong with impulsiveness and emotional reactions, they can lead to meaningful emotional or existential developments; only if there's time, energy and will to do so. Learn how to know when to face obstacles like these and when they're not exactly obstacles, but more of an annoying temporary situation. 

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number four 𓂃⊹

the wheel of fortune

Although it is impossible to have full control over one’s perceived destiny or the chaotic nature of the universe, good fortune relies on the ability to humble our needs for control. As much as it’s healthy to navigate difficult and stressful situations without allowing our emotions to have a negative impact, it is also necessary that we don’t become overly confident and arrogant when things seem to be working in our favor. There’s plenty of our surroundings that we are unable to control and many things within ourselves that are just as difficult to deal with, therefore, it is in our best interest to develop tools and structures that can function as guidance towards a consciousness state that allows us to navigate the ups and downs of life without neglecting the feelings we deal with as a consequence.

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number five 𓂃⊹

the moon

You need to allow yourself to distrust and question others. Although it's “common sense” to have good intentions, to be kind, to be respectful and so on, at this point in time we cannot truly have faith that everyone shows a tendency towards having a bare minimum of empathy or at least good intentions. It is easy to follow your intuition or your gut feelings when danger is easily perceived, but trusting your intuition is harder when there are deceptions or illusions that make it so we are almost gaslighting ourselves about how awful we are for not trusting in something or someone because there isn't anything negative in sight. Key word: IN SIGHT. If something doesn’t make enough sense to your peace of mind, it's most likely not worth making it fit into your life. 

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number six 𓂃⊹

page of swords

This card serves as a reminder to keep nurturing your curiosity, specifically by putting an emphasis on the knowledge you can acquire by being more open to hearing about others' experiences. I don’t think you are particularly interested in finding a sense of belonging by allowing people to impose their beliefs onto you, but I do see that maybe you are in need of company to further develop and deepen your relationship with knowledge. You don’t need to hurry up and become desperate to know everything about anything, you also don’t need to limit yourself and your possibilities to traditional ways of learning. At this moment, embracing the unconventional and unexpected teachings, everyday life observations and your own personal thoughts and opinions, will give you the motivation to strengthen your relationship with the more intellectual parts of yourself.

if you enjoyed this post, feel free to check the rest of my account <3 ppssst keep an eye on this blog, there's going to be some ask games and im giving away some free readings soon ;)

masterpost ✶ pac readings ✶ ko-fi page ✶

⋆bookings for personal readings are open ཐིཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

[sherryflavoured]

Will i be WHAT?!

summary: soooooo...You're pregnant, but you don't know how to tell Ben. One day at a family gathering, everyone but him notices, and they start dropping little hints.

warnings: none, this is pure fluff until I start to feel good to make a smut OS on this app. im gonna use (you) for this one since its less complicated to write.

you and ben aren't exactly the "right" age to be parents, its not even allowed to be called an adolescent pregnancy or something like that. it has no name, it was just a pregnant, early pregnant. there were so many things on play due to the situation, ben's career, your college and the relationship. your main preocupation wasnt your college or your parents, it was ben's career just because you believe it would be an obstacle for him, even if he doesn't think about it in that way. the funny thing is, you manage to hide it.

The funny thing was that, you havent told Ben. you havent found the encouragement to do it and your belly was starting to show with the other pregnancy sintoms. of course you manage to hide it, but anything is enough hidden in life. the family meeting was the boiling point and the edge for you and your little big secret. Ben had told you that he wanted you to accompany him to a family gathering at his house, as his grandparents were coming to visit. Of course, the whole family was going to be there, and that made you a little much nervous. It was the first time there had been such a big gathering since you and Ben had started dating.

You dressed up from head to toe, bought a cute summer dress, had your nails done and even got a haircut. You looked beautiful, and of course everyone noticed, but they also noticed your extraordinary glow. Yes, that typical pregnancy glow. Before you left home, you'd been struggling a little with your appearance, thinking your baby bump was starting to show, which obviously made you panic. Ben, in his innocence, assured you that you looked very pretty and not at all "fat" as you'd claimed. Of course, "fat" didn't mean the same thing to him as it did to you.

-Baby, Why do you say you look fat?, you look more perfect than ever.- Ben had a genuine smile and a dopey look on his face as he watched you stare in the mirror. God, you couldn't tell how embarrassed you were right now. -It's okay...its nothing.- Ben looked at me for a few long seconds, unsure of my answer, but he gave in when I smiled sweetly at him. I heard him get up from the bed and, in a few steps, he was standing behind me in front of the mirror. He placed his hands on my waist and leaned down to kiss me on the cheek.-You look beautiful, my love. Never doubt it.- My smile widened and I felt a warm glow in my chest, the kind that only Ben could evoke. I turned in his arms, tiptoed up to him and placed a soft kiss on his lips.-Thank you, Benny. I love you so much.-

After a while, we arrived at Ben's parents' house. Noise could be heard inside, confirming that several relatives had arrived. Emma's bright presence greeted us as the young woman opened the door and threw herself into Ben's arms. She hadn't seen the brunette in a long time, so she was very excited to see him again. She gave me a warm hug and a compliment that I didn't fully understand. 'You look bright, darling,' she said, and it made my skin crawl.-thank you, Em', you look very pretty too.-

We received a warm welcome when we arrived in the backyard of the large house. Ben's cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all there, implying that we had arrived late. We soon got distracted and went our separate ways. Ben's mother had asked me to keep her company while she prepared the side dishes with Ben's aunts. All the women in the house agreed on one thing: I had a different kind of glow. And that was all I needed to know that they already knew. Of course, they weren't stupid; they were mothers too, and they were young women in their pasts. The only one I confirmed to in my own words that I was pregnant was Ben's mother. She was my mother-in-law. Obviously, I should have told her. Her words were simple, though her eyes betrayed the emotion she felt. 'Honey, you've made me the happiest woman tonight… When Ben finds out, he's going to faint.'

When we all returned to the backyard, Ben sensed the slight shift in the energy of his female relatives and the way they looked at him slyly. The last sign came when we were saying goodbye to Ben's parents after a long night of family fun. Ben's father, 'Brian,' gave me a knowing look and a few words that drove Ben crazy. As soon as we settled into the car and hit the road, my gorgeous boyfriend's voice blared over the radio.-Will you explain to me what happened while you were with my aunts and mother that everyone was looking at me in such a strange way?…I really felt scared for a moment.- There was a slight joking tone in his voice but he sounded worried too.

I shifted a little uncomfortably in my seat, adjusting the hem of my dress. I noticed him looking at me out of the corner of his eye, and I knew I had to say something before he got more worried. "I have to tell you something, Ben… and I don't know if it's good or bad." The dark-haired man had to stop the car. If he was going to listen to what I had to say, he'd at least have to make sure I wasn't going to cause a disturbance on the road. When Ben pulled over, he turned around to look at me, his full attention on me. However, I couldn't do the same. My gaze was fixed on my hands, which were moving nervously before Ben's warm hand intervened. "I… I know you're at a high point in your career and that you still have a long way to go. My intention isn't to interfere with your plans, but I really didn't know how this happened…"

My voice began to quiver and I gripped Ben's hand tighter, as if trying to ensure he wouldn't leave. -What's wrong, baby?' I am seriously worried.-I take a few breaths before finally speaking, the expression on Ben's face was a poem that could never have been described, poor man. - I'm pregnant … - Total silence, that was what invaded the car and for a moment I almost burst into tears. - I'm going to be WHAT?! - Instead, I burst into laughter when he hugged me tightly and started covering my face with kisses. - IT CAN'T BE! … I AM THE LUCKIEST MAN IN THIS WORLD!.

-oh...I thought you wouldn't like the news...I was worried.-He shook his head, smiling and caressing my hair with a delicate touch.-why would I be mad when my gorgeous girlfriend is gonna be the mother of my baby?...this is all I had ever dreamed once, babe.- I can't help but kiss him, it's soft and calm, spilling all the love I have for him in a simple motion.

----------------------------------------

this took me more than I thought :(( i still couldn't finish the first dash I have.

[pharawee]

Maybe it's because I don't mind unhappy or open endings, or maybe it's because I had no expectations whatsoever beyond being entertained, or maybe it's because I enjoy detective fiction a lot...

But I genuinely liked Spare Me Your Mercy beginning to end. I enjoyed the characters and the presentations of their struggles, flaws and convictions, and I also don't think that it's a mark of bad writing or narrative structuring when characters are unbending and stand by said convictions. I like how the outcome was inevitable pretty much from the beginning because every character was on a set trajectory. And I also liked how the "big bad" was unveiled/dealt with way before the show was over because Boss was never the real obstacle anyway.

Spare Me Your Mercy was never going to be a romantic thriller driven by character development, and personally I feel it's a bit unfair to judge the show by the standards of a completely different genre. To me it was a morality tale/crime thriller and imo it did a very good job in that regard. Plus, if you take Thai censorship laws/conventions into account it was never going to openly support Kan's approach to euthanasia. It was always going to end with the status quo being upheld. They went about as far as they could, given that this is a mainstream production aired nationally on television. I actually find it very refreshing that they tackled this topic at all, and I really appreciate that they were incredibly nuanced throughout all of it, from the inclusion of a living will (which is indeed a topic that surprisingly few people even know about) to the monk's approach, but also how it showed that loved ones too have every right and the room to disagree.

Because euthanasia shouldn't ever an easy topic. It should be discussed, always, even in countries like Switzerland and the Netherlands where it's already legal.

(This is also ultimately why I sided with Tiu/Wasan instead of Kan because, yeah, Kan did consensually ease the suffering of a lot of people and we as the audience know that he has the highest of moral standards - which is exactly why it's better to channel all of this into starting the democratic process of legalising it. Kan meant well, and maybe Kan was right, but you only need to look to Orn and Boss to see how easy these things go off the rails. Hell, even Kan slipped when he shot Boss in the back, and you can't justify that one at all.)

Plus, in the end I do think that Kan manipulated Wasan as much (or imo even more) as it was the other way around. To me a relationship based on so many fundamental lies was never going to be possible - which also explains the dissonance in their (romantic) behaviour. Attraction is easy (which is why I don't think it's far-fetched at all that they fell for each other) but sometimes love alone just isn't enough.

I won't begrudge anyone their dislike of the show or its characters. I think it's very valid especially given the sensitive nature of what euthanasia should and shouldn't be. It's just that I read so many disappointed and negative takes on the ending of the show in the past 24 hours that I wanted to add my own - and like I said, personally I enjoyed myself a lot (even if it's of course not a perfect show and there certainly are some details that feel very hamfisted and even harmful and stereotypical). To me, it's a well-made and narratively sound piece of television with interesting characters and an entertaining story, and I'm glad we finally got a good genre BL offering in the form of queer detective fiction.

[citr0us]

Tarot Reading

How is going to be your next month?

These readings are general, they have various energies which means they may not resonate with you and your situation, if this happens feel free to change your pile and remember read and stick with what resonates with you and leave what doesn't.

notes: Hii guys, so i been kind of distance from posting here, because I am having a lot of other projects. But when I found some time, I am going to post here more. And give feedbacks about the reading and ideas. Byeeeee.

I did it for pure fun and curiosity, I'm not a professional, just a tarot student.

My native language is not English, so if there are any spelling mistakes, please don't mind

I am accepting genuine feedbacks and this reading is timeless

pile 1 ———————> Pile 2

pile 1: the cards flew off the table very quickly in this reading, The first thing I heard was ‘’surprises’’ maybe next month will bring surprises for you. The first 4 cards were:

7 of Cups: May indicate that you will have several opportunities or choices to make, but some of them may not be as real or promising as they seem

10 of Pentacles: It may indicate that you are in a good financial or family moment, with a solid foundation.

The Tower: It represents unexpected changes, which can shake the structures you have built. Despite being a difficult card, it also brings the opportunity to rebuild in a more solid way.

2 of Swords: need to make a difficult decision. There may be a situation where you feel divided or unable to move forward

General interpretation for the next month: The next month may bring many options and opportunities, but not all of them will be what they appear to be. It is important to anchor yourself in the things that bring security and stability. However, you may face a significant change or an unexpected event that shakes your certainties. This can lead to a situation where you will need to make a difficult decision, balancing reason and emotion to move forward. Being prepared for change and staying focused on what's really important to you will be essential to navigating this period.

two more cards to finish:

To finish, the Sun card and Seven of Wands fell. I think you might be celebrating something at the end of the month, something you fought hard and fought to achieve. In my mind it seems like you had difficulties, people or even you yourself doubted your ability, but in the end you succeed. I see a family celebrating and jumping (very cute)

At the bottom of the cards there is the Hermit So I think you will now be looking for new opportunities, and new paths will be shown. In my thing here there is an older guy with a lamp trying to get through the dark without knowing what is coming, I think that is what you will get through.

Random things: family, Fire sign (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius), ‘’apple’’ charli xcx (lol)

Pile 2

MY GOD, the cards jumped too, but I felt like it was going to be one of your best months. I heard success for definition of the month.

The first 4 cards were

The Chariot: It can indicate that you will be on a journey, whether literal or figurative, where willpower and confidence are necessary to overcome challenges.

Ace of Pentacles: new beginnings in relation to material or financial aspects, such as job opportunities, financial gains or new prosperous projects.

Ace of Wands: It is associated with inspiring beginnings, enthusiasm, creative energy and new ideas. It can indicate the beginning of a new venture or the arrival of a new passion or project that fills you with vigor.

Nine of Wands: Suggests that, even when faced with obstacles, you must continue to fight and protect yourself, remaining firm in your convictions.

General Interpretation for the Next Month: The next month seems to bring with it significant movement in your life, with new opportunities emerging in both the material and creative fields. There will be a need to stay focused and determined, seizing these new opportunities with vigor and energy. However, you will also need to be resilient and prepared to face challenges, but the message is clear: you have the strength to overcome any obstacle that comes your way. may arise.

the last 2 cards: bro, I hope you guys are ready. I feel like you're going to live a teenage dream aaaaaahhh.

girl, I can only hear celebrations, and joy.

1 of cups and 3 of Pentacles you will be in your era of abundance, prosperity and love. I think for some of you, you may meet someone romantically, and you will also meet new people, and even more new opportunities in the area of ​​work or school.

I really wish pile 2 the best of luck. Your next month is going to be wonderful.

random things: couple fight, teenage dream ''katy perry'', yellow, feeling: dizzy, itchy throat, left ear getting hot

[lookinghalfacorpse]

Other than making Dream nervous/scared when they can do techza have any other 'methods' ig to keep Dream reliant and unable to leave, either due to physical or emotional/mental 'obstacles'

yes!! to be perfectly clear, i don't think possessive!techza ever truly lie about anything. the problem is that they have a warped perception of what humans are. they see him as very weak and young and tiny, but they love him very very much, and they act accordingly.

i think i talked about many of these but to use more words:

reminding him that he's small/fragile/vulnerable. at my university there was an old tradition where campus police members would pretend to break into a residence hall and leave notes on people's belongings like "If I were a thief, I would've stolen this" etc etc. as a way of encouraging folks to lock doors / don't prop doors open. THAT'S the vibe they bring when they intimidate dream. they legitimately believe that the world will kill him, and they'll remind him of it (related ficlet).

making him feel so very loved and special. and they do this because they DO love him, and they DO think he's special. this is all very genuine. if you were the Very Special Boy of two immortals, you wouldn't be too inclined to leave, either

some minor guilt-tripping. if dream does something that makes them worry, they'd let him know how much it worried them. even if that thing is, you know, playing frisbee with a dog alone outside.

spoiling him (doing simple tasks for him instead of letting him do them himself). this would stem from a legitimate pleasure they get from taking care of him. i talked to a mom recently who loved braiding her daughter's hair every morning and it made her kinda sad when her daughter learned to do it herself, but it was an important part of raising a kid. techza would not rationalize this as well. they started with a boy who needed a LOT of help, and even as he gets stronger they wouldn't want to let go of the care they gave him. bathing him, cooking for him, carrying him places, not letting him go anywhere alone. preferring that he get orgasms from them rather than touching himself. they do it because they enjoy it, but it also results in dream being more dependent and perhaps not even realizing that he's gotten stronger. it would also slow his progress; if you want to get better at biking, you gotta lose the training wheels. they don't care about this because they're more worried about the possibility of losing him.

training the animals to keep an eye on him. all in his best interest, of course. more eyes to help watch him and keep him safe!

[tprings-hair]

nobody asked, but I'm thinking about it, so here are some songs that remind me of kirk, spock, mccoy, and spirk!

songs that remind me of kirk:

the old revolution - leonard cohen

I fought in the old revolution on the side of the ghost and the king Of course I was very young then and I thought that we were winning I can't pretend I still feel very much like singing as they carry the bodies away Into this furnace I ask you now to venture You, who I cannot betray

you don't mess around with jim - jim croce

I have many, many feelings and thoughts about kirk went through on tarsus iv and how it influences some of the decisions he makes during the series. I know kirk didn't fight for kodos, but I'm thinking "the ghost and the king" here deepens the hamlet parallel in the conscience of the king - hamlet's father, the king who came back as a ghost - and here stands for all his heroes who he was trying to emulate in staying strong there. standing strong against kodos's people and not realising until later that nobody who wanted to win was going to stand with him.

You don't tug on Superman's cape You don't spit into the wind You don't pull the mask off that old lone ranger And you don't mess around with Jim

wild horses - grace power

this is just a fun song I grew up listening to. it mentions a boy by the name of mccoy, too, although he definitely isn't our doctor.

"It's a miracle," the crowd all screams Everyone's so proud of me But I'm a graveyard, oh I'm in deep Miss the person I never got to be

it's all over now, baby blue - joan baez

more feelings about tarsus iv and what he probably went through when he came back.

Leave your stepping stones behind you, something calls for you Forget the dead you've left, they will not follow you A vagabond who's rapping at your door Is standing in the clothes that you once wore Strike another match, let's start anew And it's all over now, baby blue

steady as she goes - the ractoneurs

forget the add-ons and just think about what was in the series and movies. this feels very jim kirk to me, having to move on over and over and keeping these people who mattered to him very close to his chest. I'm thinking about carol marcus and ruth, but I'm also thinking about mccoy and spock. when he comes to an unfamiliar place, he doesn't talk about anyone he knew before. it's a trait I find really interesting about him.

Settle for a world neither up or down Sell it to the crowd that's gathered round Settle for a girl neither up or down Sell it to the crowd that's gathered round So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

everything I've above, before plus the inherent uncertainty of whether he's going to get everybody through and how everybody has to believe in him in a crisis. also, he literally says it.

geyser - mitski

songs that remind me of spock:

I'm a geyser, feel it bubbling from below Hear it call, hear it call, hear it call to me constantly And hear the harmony only when it's harming me It's not real, it's not real, it's not real enough But I will be the one you need The way I can't be without you

I wanna hold counsel with the ghost of my father Tell him I'll be everything he could never be And if I face the obstacles that he failed to conquer I'll make it to the other side I don't wanna go lonely I don't wanna reach out in the dead of night And find no one to hold me But I'm burning my bridges at the speed of light

he's the geyser! a lot of feeling deep down that he won't admit to or acknowledge.

prodigal son - rationale

I hate your mom I hate it when she opens her mouth It's amazing to me How much you can say When you don't know what you're talking about

spock's constant push and pull of vulcan vs human - will he allow himself genuine connection with other people, or will he push it away in the name of being vulcan? - and how uncomfortable he is with his father, despite making the same choice to withdraw from friendships and so on. he's trying, but he kind of burned all his bridges post tos.

icu - phoebe bridgers

Oh God, save me I want an impossible thing I want to be free of this ache, of this need I want not to want anything

amanda. that's all.

end of desire - muna

I know who I am when I'm alone I'm something else when I see you You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need Don't let me in with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

also pretty clear.

it will come back - hozier

songs that remind me of mccoy:

I feel like spock is flattered every time someone shows interest in him, even if he's not into it. he's able to play into it as a joke, but at a certain point it got too real with kirk, and this is sort of how he is with him.

I walk the line - johnny cash

I find it very, very easy to be true I find myself alone when each day is through Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you Because you're mine, I walk the line, mmm

No use ramblin', walkin' in the shadows, Trailin' a wanderin' star. No one beside you, no one to hide you, And nobody knows what you are. But if somehow you could pack up your sorrows, And give them all to me, You would lose them, I know how to use them, Give them all to me.

I'm imagining younger, married mccoy. he's too much of a gentleman to cheat, no matter what some fanfics seem to think. I think part of his bitterness is that he genuinely was a fool for his ex, and she wasn't as emotionally invested.

pack up your sorrows - mimi and richard fariña

Sometimes I'd head for the highway I'm old and the mirrors don't lie But crazy has places to hide in That are deeper than any goodbye

mccoy serving as everybody's counselor kind of vibe.

crazy to love you - leonard cohen

And I am lower now and lower still, And you did always say that one day I would suffer, Did always say that people get their pay. You did always say that I was going places, And that you wouldn't have it any other way. But I couldn't turn my back on the world for what I like, wouldn't let me. But I couldn't turn my back on the world for what I like, I needed.

mccoy thinking about home. I feel like that romantic in him really, really wants to trust in everything and everyone, and it's partly to defend that part of himself that he's so guarded. that crazy (the love and trust in humanity) is deeper in him than just saying goodbye to his ex.

blackberry stone - laura marling

I've been around Someone like me should know better Falling in love Would be the worst thing I could do Didn't I say I needed time to forget her? Aren't you running From someone who's not over you?

I'd imagine mccoy went through a phase of trying to totally turn his back on everything from who he was before his marriage collapsed, but he just couldn't, because he genuinely cares and it tears him to pieces not to be able to do anything. what he likes - the good in people! the joy he gets from his daughter! - he needs.

this night - billy joel

songs that remind me of spirk:

mccoy starting a new relationship. possibly in a situation like for the world is hollow and I have touched the sky, or possibly just meeting up with an old friend and finding something there that couldn't have happened earlier. I feel like every time he flirts in the series, he is still guarding himself like this.

me and my husband - mitski

So I bet all I have on that Furrowed brow And at least in this lifetime We're sticking together Me and my husband We're sticking together

He was starving in some deep mystery Like a man who is sure what is true And I sent you to him with my guarantee I could teach him something new

spock looking at kirk!

master song - leonard cohen

And I know you're strong I know you're a man-made fortress But we're alone And I'm so willing to be proven wrong

I can't explain it, but this song has such incredible star trek tos vibes to me. at some point I want to do an edit to this song with clips from plato's stepchildren and some of the other manipulative antagonists who get into their heads. it is The star trek tos song to me.

timefighter - lucy dacus

Do you always trust your first initial feeling? Special knowledge holds true, bears believing

spock, taking what affection he's given, listening and soaking it up and hoping for more. he knows kirk keeps his walls high, but maybe that's not always the case. maybe they can let them down together. spock feeling like he's intruding on kirk's privacy because vulcan privacy standards are different, and finding he doesn't mind.

crystal - fleetwood mac

that moment where this song goes "then I knew"? I'm picturing that moment where spock is doing that space walk in the motion picture. "to the sea" is them jumping into the water at the end of the movie with the whales. it's so perfect.

talk - hozier

I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus When her body was found (hey ya) I'd be the choiceless hope in grief That drove him underground (hey ya) I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee That made him turn around (hey ya) And I'd be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice

kirk during spock's resurrection arc in the movies. I need this edit so badly

[abyss-seer]

Pick A Card Reading

How to find that depth in your relationships to keep its spark going? What is it that you aren't seeing/doing when it comes to navigating your love life?

Disclaimer: All content in this reading, including interpretations and messages, belongs to me and should not be copied, reproduced, or distributed without permission. The images used are sourced from Pinterest and do not belong to me. They are for illustrative purposes only.

A love read for people in relationships. Singles can also watch it. Minors do not interact. These reads can be used as an insight provider for your current or past relationships and can be used for self improvement or relationship improvement journaling.

I personally don't believe in picking up other's energies except the person interacting with my energy. So this would be an insight guide on your relationships through your energy. For singles out here, this read can be for you, just take the shoe if it fits and can be used as an insight guide as well, you may or may not get the messages of your liking here. Channelled messages are in double quotation text.

So trigger warning ⚠️ these reads are long can be triggering, are pretty deep and require presence of mind. Sorry ADHD people, but trust me on this. This is an intuitive psychic work. Please only take the storyline of what resonates. If its not for you, its not meant to be. A lot of violence, SA and intense themes of suicide came up,please take breaks while reading it, this read was one long and intense ride. I cried many times, its pretty intense and looong. Its too much honestly speaking Iam a Scorpio and this is a deep emotionally intense ride, so take your time, if you feel you have understood the message and jist of the reading mid way reading it, please leave. There's no compulsion,this read is for the purposes of journalling only. And yeah, I am sorry for not including pictures of diverse couples. please forgive me, just got those 6 pictures as my pinterest recommends.

So today I asked my cards for a PAC topic so this is what came through

These are some channeled song. At first I thought I had to help you guys express your feelings to your partners and get out of your comfort zone but then came a message from the people in relationships who are circling back in a loveless relationship just for the comfort of it, have love for each other, the $ex could have been kept at side (even though its good) and are struggling to keep the spark going despite loving each other the most and feeling as if the relationship is at its brink despite having an open communication and conversation. So what is it that will keep "us" going? Idk what it is, but let's find out, and see what comes out. If you have been feeling this way, this might be the reading for you. This can be applied to similar context with "friends just for now" (situationships) or people who haven't found their significant other where you guys could be having trouble moving past the comfort zone to express those real and genuine feelings. In the end take what resonates and leave the rest.

Every pile is divided into 6 categories

1. Confirmations

2. How deep is your relationship with them? (Singles this could be your past or future person, idk take it how it resonates)

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships?

4. What is it that you aren't seeing or doing about your relationships?

5. How is this lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

6. What else can you do to navigate your/through your love life smoothly? (Cause love life sometimes needs navigating through some external obstacles 🤷🏻‍♀️)

So here are the piles

The link to pile 6 is here

Pile 1

1. Confirmations:

Someone here could be indian or from Spain or knows the language Hindi, and Spanish, 6, june, july, someone could have recently taken or shared their MBTI Test, Letters MBBP, the it boy song BBNO$, number 7, Isabel LaRosa's song I'm yours 🎵 you are so pretty it hurts🎵, Lion, ♌ Leo, july Leo

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

Right off the bat, Im feeling thirsty 🥵 trust me I'm hearing DPR IAN -Dont go insane, the heavy breathing part with chains ⛓️ or belts. Ok. "Kaamna" you both could have wished for this relationship. Kaamna,Seema or Odette (the swan princess coming through) could be someone's name as well. I am also getting nutcracker music. Some of you here could be a ballerinas. Idk why all this gives me christmas vibes. Maybe some of you aren't over Christmas yet and haven't removed the decorations as well 😆.

Basically this doesn't seems like the traditional relationship but it definitely could be one of those relationships that is still at the early stages of commitment but could have been rushed without proper communication.

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships ?

High Priestess here said "You need to look for info within oneself " you both should see your old pictures, "I'm getting one man boat or boating pictures" and maybe revisit the site of that old business venture that you both wanted to do together but couldn't get time for it. It reminds me of a youtube animation movie with the same plot of growing apart from each other due to differences in goals, in the movie, the husband and wife came together and wanted to open a bakery together. So the husband and wife started earning money through various sources and had to leave their hobbies of baking behind to focus on work/ for someone this could be about focusing on shares rather than what you are passionate about doing. Anyway all this hustle culture could have promoted both of you quickly and may have rewarded you with lots of money only to forget about what both of you were actually passionate about despite getting a small pay for pursuing those hobbies. This is specific but someone could have started an Only Fans, to earn a lot of money only to invite their friends over to gain cash in terms of price for their services. It seems like you both could have forgotten the real reason both of you yearned for this money. "Its over a month already" "when will we get new clients" I guess this is the energy that is coming through. But yeah what you need to look for is your search for your inner calling.

4. What is it that you aren't doing/seeing about your relationship?

I'm getting the word "Seema" . Seems like you are pretty bad at setting proper boundaries in the guise of thinking "its hot" even when its uncomfortable for you. Do you, Iam not judging, just know that it isn't hot when it's uncomfortable to do so. You seem to have a hard time leaving what doesn't serves you anymore.

And the other thing you are doing is not connecting with people who can give you meaningful connections. There's a lack of wholesomeness in your connections cause there are beautiful connections that you are gifted with which aren't getting their deserving time and attention from you, because you could be so tired and exhausted of overbearing new relationships in this relationship that you are almost handling your meaningful connections in a wild manner.

5. How is this lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

Its this unconscious, unsaid yet unfamiliar promise that you have unknowingly kept with others. Its the vows that you could be breaking. Someone's name could be "Colby,Coby,Cody". I don't necessarily think it's the vows that you have kept. It's that when we agree to live a normal life in society, we bind ourselves to follow a social moral code of conduct. And that includes not being a participant in breaking the vows or promises we have knowingly or unknowingly made with other people for eg the promise of not leaving others behind in misery after they have helped you through your tough times. Please don't try to hurt other people knowingly or unknowingly without their consent as there's a huge karmic energy piling up through these un-consented individuals as they didn't subscribe to getting hurt, especially if you are someone in their plain sight

I'm also getting that someone (very sincere) here could have been left out in the drought and harsh period of their lives, while the person who promised to be with them kept them in the dark. Idk if this person has kept you in dark on purpose or not, and I can see how this vow must have bound you indefinitely and breaking it could have been the only way for you to express your deep pain, frustration, desire and anguish, but please don't hurt yourself in the process of hurting the other and getting revenge as its not necessary, your downfall could affect this person sometimes people can go from people you know to people you don't, and they can act indifferently to your misconduct. So don't go on ruining your life if that's the case.

Iam getting Kim Namjoon's lost, "you are a ghost" like there's heavy energy of getting ghosted, isolated and now ghosting other people in return and not wanting any sorts of physical contact with anyone. Wandering around with other people yet dissociating in your own body, cause you don't want to face the feeling, so you traumatize your body by engaging in $3xual behaviour you don't yourself like, so you can disengage yourself due the anger and hatred. Iam really sorry if you are going through this, but punishing/overstimulating your own body to forget this feeling isn't always the answer. Its your body at the end of the day, and our vessel has a limit to its stimulation. Please don't over exert yourself for these heart ripping feelings. This is so sad pile 1, I'm so sad you had to go through so much emotional turmoil and pain. I'm sorry if these messages triggered you and ruffled some feathers. I will put a trigger warning above this pile. You are a brave soul for facing those neglected feelings. Be proud of yourself for that.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

First of all, here's Yamas :-

1. Ahimsa (Non-violence)

Avoid harm in thoughts, words, and actions to yourself, others, and nature. Practice kindness and compassion.

2. Satya (Truthfulness)

Be honest and truthful without causing harm. Align your words and actions with your inner truth.

3. Asteya (Non-stealing)

Do not take what does not belong to you, including material goods, time, or energy. Cultivate gratitude and generosity.

4. Brahmacharya (Moderation)

Practice self-control and balance your desires, especially regarding sensual pleasures. Focus on higher spiritual goals. Bring yourself to balance and focus on building a balanced mind for yourself

5. Aparigraha (Non-possessiveness)

Let go of greed and material attachments. Embrace simplicity and contentment with what you have.

Now that we are here. Dear Pile 1, stop remaining stuck in your fear of losing someone by making them remember you as someone they would regret leaving behind by describing highly of your life, yet being so hard on yourself (beating yourself up) for your own past regrets, and not being happy with your present, respecting the life lessons and wisdom you could have earned from those mistakes, no matter what job you had to do in your miserable times, you still have the chance to be someone who can change the world in one way or other. I just realised that there's so much pent up energy and frustration within you that some of you have burned yourself out in your own anger and anguish that some of you don't even realise how this constant effort to keep the spark alive is slowly killing you, venomous for you and is visually distorting you from your higher purpose in life. Do you believe that you have a higher calling in life? Stop trying so hard, and changing yourself.

Stop over analysing your success and your beautiful relationships based on your past experiences. They don't define you, the lessons you learnt from and actions you take based on them in your present makes you who you are today. Teach your learning to the world, share your happiness and do the things you want to live for. "I don't like, I don't care" it could be something you may say you don't like or care about due to low self esteem. Create an identity for yourself that doesn't revolve around relationships or love in general.

Clean and Tidy up yourself "your name" and meetup with new people, take that risk and make that talk, if you looking for reconciliation or are in a relationship, but aren't confident of making the first move, take that risk and do it. At first, saying your heart out might feel a bit heavy, restless, and even exhausting for you but work hard at being this compassionate lover, and expressing your inner vulnerability and emotions as some of you could struggle with opening up your heart, only if trust your partner or companion or the dating scene, it will change with a some patience and love for yourself. Don't be afraid of rejection, stand at your personal resolve of improving your love life and try opening up your heart space for others to let in. Don't bother with the people of low quality who play with you (if you are single and in dating scene). Avoid infections/ "plague" if you are in some open relationships(that was for somebody specific, im getting inflammatory disease). Also avoid spending low quality time with each other or remove distractions when spending time with each other.

"Do not leave behind the toilet roll, avoid leaving behind the toilet roll" idk what I just channeled

Hope I helped you Pile 1. Have a great day 💝😊

Pile 2

1. Confirmations

Fortnite -Taylor Swift,

🎵 and for a fortnite there, we were forever. 🎵Run into you sometimes,ask about the weather 🎵now you're in my backyard🎵, confusing between spirituality and materialism, water sign, sprinkles, water sprinklers, rain, aftermath of rain, growing of plants, swati nakshatra, earth sign, meditative energy, Dark complextion, "Grace", ate Tandoori, being on good graces, "correct your posture, straighten it", earthy or fresh forest or grassy or light floral mists or scents, African, caravan, trailer van, nomads, 3, march,4,April, Muladhara Chakra/root chakra, Father figure, someone is feeling a lack of father figure or fears facing things head on because their father figure failed to do so, Daytime, War, Letter : V,R,M,A,V,O,R

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

5 of wands - needless to say very competitive, and friends just for now

The depth of this relationship stays in terms of friendship as rivals, this relationship could be at a phase where both of you are just starting out and are getting to know each other, but the intensity of this romantic dynamic could have intensified with rivalry and healthy competitiveness which seems pretty good to be honest. Your energy reminds me of a mountain or mountain goat, a very persevering energy with a fixed mindset towards your own goals and deeds. "Reaches for the stars" That's what I have been meaning to say, you are someone ambitious and goal oriented and someone with traditional values and sometimes you might end up finding yourself pursuing your family's dream. Some of you could be hier to some sort ancestral legacy or business line. There's something here about "wanting to be just like them" in the times of celebration. Its as if wanting to hold hands during any wins or celebrations but ending up putting a lot of things at stake, I am getting Sleeping Beauty where if she touches the needle the entire kingdom goes to sleep due to Maleficent 's curse. Its something around that, its as if you both said your feelings out loud, some sort of false idea would vanish and you both will have to prepare to rebel against something. Im getting "La la la" from Naughty boy ft Sam Smith. It's as if you both are ready to cover your ears like a kid and go la la la.

3. How can you find depth in your relationship?

Five of Swords in reverse and three of cups - Sounds more like, you both need to stop trying to one up each other to the point of ending each other. I see silly fights between you two that end up being hurtful to each other's inner child. Its as if you both call out each other's egoistic selves and then get angry and cry over being called that 😭😭😭, stop fighting you two, I think there are times when your friendly fights might end up not only exposing each other but end up bruising each other's ego. (Tarot reader :- What is this? What are you two doing, Why are you two fighting each other like dogs? Stop getting on each other's neck and cutting off the oxygen supply, what are you two doing, French revolution?🤦🏻‍♀️)

But both of you love each other like its your time!

Ok you two, what?!!! You both need to stop fighting ugly bro/sis. There's some African spirit guide saying this. Like you know this, I don't even have to tell you, (the guide is like I don't have to tell you, mathafakarz, just stop it already). Oh my God the Drama between you too. Accept yourself for who you are and accept each other. Learn to be vulnerable enough to speak your wounds or past hurts or trauma to each other. Good friends understand each other. Oh God and stop acting like rivals only to end up hurting each other. Oh God why am I getting that you both care for each other after hurting sending each other videos of that Gwenchana deng deng deng deng . 🤣🤣🤣 What?! Okay Circus Jokers! You know what I am talking about. Just don't hurt each other and remain open to listening to the other side. Anyways one of you could have poked the other's hand with sea urchin or hedgehog spikes, idk why I channeled that, but I feel like that's what has isolated one from the other or something painful like that.

4. What is it you aren't seeing/doing about your relationship?

Okay gurl/gal idk what can be more obvious than the title of the song itself. Aaaaaaaaaah!!! You both are closer than all this fighting, if something happens to you they will be there. Like I'm already hearing piano and guitar strings

Like the song is about a hope to see the person again and then yet wanting to forget. Idk maybe they are giving you hints, but you aren't reciprocating or responding despite THROWING THE OBVIOUS SIGNS, anyways this feels like a bestie that can never let you go but feels the obvious signs. Idk why now getting that maybe its you who has always been sending signals, maybe even sent them an UFO with Aliens to tell them that but they never respond. One of you isn't reciprocating or atleast responding to the obvious signs. When in spite you both might throw each other deep shade and other isn't responding. Okay what's with this love-hate relationship, now I am confused 🤷🏻‍♀️ you two like to role play Kendrick Lamar and Drake????

I guess they like you but you end up hurting them so much, you could be in such a hurry to get the results of perfecting your craft that you could have ended up treating them so unfairly that they felt hurt, their heart feels rushed and dragged, its as if even though they have good comebacks for your insults. It seems like you need to learn to take accountability when you are wrong instead of acting like you are right. Oh my God 😭 this person could be a musician. I understand this reading must sound so one sided, but its an introspective read, focused on you not them

5. How is the lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

These are some lyrics I channeled from Shinee Don't Call Me :

🎵You won’t be able to handle it, you’re just obsessed

Because nobody was good as I was, ya🎵

I am getting this lack of serious energy, and also this song 🎵rap việt không sao cả🎵 gosh girl why is this so annoying! Honestly I am getting someone who hides their disappointment in their love life, and through music (piano specifically) its as if they forget all their responsibilities and are burried within their own thoughts and feelings of hatred against each other hence they try to cope it with humour. This could be the case for both of you. You both are using humour to deflect responsibilities and accountability of hurting each other, i heard "almost ruining each other's life" to a point and extent where there's no return. Your comedy, is your deflection to not look at the world and accept the uniqueness of the creatures sent here by the Divine himself and live in harmony with them. I think you are a very light hearted joyous and nice person which is a good thing but this habit of yours is causing lack of depth in your relationships to an extent where people either don't see you as a marriage material or player or they might find you lack accountability in relationships making you unreliable and untrustworthy. Iam channeling Closer by Jungkook (Golden Album). " You grew morose and deeply pained by those sorrows your heart held in it deep mournful silence."

Idk what else could describe suppression of emotions better than this. There's so much trickery, malice and manipulation in this energy yet so much energy of a person who could have accepted every sort of pain thrown their way with grace, someone's mom in this pile could have "inhaled chains of smoke to keep you alive" "Iam getting the name "Parvati" and a mother figure, definitely feeling a broken person who could have been forced to accept any challenge thrown their way , and got traumatized to cross that invisible line created by their perpetrator

Iam seeing your lack of empathizing with yourself "for letting all the bad things happen to you ". even though I can assure you that none of this could have been your fault to begin with, causing you to deflect it with humour and hence not forming meaningful connections with the people , you often don't allow people into your heart space and say its alright. Hence you never ask for help and suffer alone, and then unconsciously do the same with other people,you let them suffer alone when they need you the most or worst hurt them where they feel like you are tricking them into sacrificing something/or a part of themselves unwillingly. Its the lack of depth or apparent lack of maturity or unwillingness to works with other's emotions with empathy cause you don't empathize with yourself that could make you seem lacking depth in relationships.

I'm also getting that this can be due to a lack of father figure or a disappointing father figure who couldn't show you how to fight wolves, hence you too learnt to give up cause you saw your pillar not fight for you and started depreciating every effort you made in life with humour, this father figure may have mocked your efforts or tricked you into sacrificing yourself in childhood due to which you don't take responsibility for mistakes you made in life and sometimes might end up sacrificing more than what is usually required of you to make up for those mistakes. Hence sometimes boosting your own ego or people perceiving you as someone egoistic. I'm sorry if you went through that. And stop saying its alright, its not alright, you never deserved to be treated like a toy, please treat yourself with empathy next time than saying its alright for everything and not expressing your obvious discomfort for things in life.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

First of all what I see is somebody constantly getting defensive or lying about their culture and their origins, its as if you don't want to give a bad vibe for being someone who doesn't belongs to the culture, because you don't want strangers to associate you with your very own culture and you don't want them to see you as who you are. Stop trying to partner up with people for surface level connections. Stop chiming in with other people's music if they cannot chime in yours. Cause this isn't what you dreamt of. Stop living a lie, in hopes of fulfilling an empty surface level dream, stop chasing it just because everyone else is doing so,

Now your love life could be deteriorating due to you pushing aside your old cultural routines and habits replacing them with a new one. I got "chinese 4th year and chinese netizens or year of netizen streaks" some of you could be popular on social media. Chinese 4th year is year of rabbit 🐇 it could be of significance for someone here. Your success in your career and relationships depends more on going back to your roots and enlivening them for others to see of the beauty of your culture. I felt somebody really really embarrassed to show their culture, like they would rather flip the table to end the conversation than to show it to others. Your person or you could feel betrayal due to abandoning your own culture maybe through each other or your family. Anyway the harmony, stability and balance comes with accepting who you are and not trying to change yourself for others. Something related to the throne and prison are coming through but yeah this pile was def giving me a lot of royal vibes. The whole time I was channeling this pile, I was getting flashes of my old friend who was also from a royal family. This can't be a coincidence. I feel like whoever you are, you are being asked to move on from this copy cat energy and try finding ways to enliven and introduce your culture to other people rather than succumbing to theirs. It also gave me a vision of an immigrant family who decides to change their entire food habits and small things they liked to do back home to get along with others, only to find out the things they bonded over was their little traditional cultural values and habits that they had once abandoned, hence souring their beautiful relationship. This low self esteem could also be due to feeling desperately unabundant or financially unstable despite having everything rooted in their culture. Maybe going back to your roots will not only make both of you feel abundant again but in turn help you manifest more of it in return. Use or eat more food items of colour red in your diet or do exercises to activate your root chakra.

Hope you liked this reading Pile 2 bye

Pile 3

1. Confirmations :-

Investigative journalism, detective and horror genres, 1, 4, 6, June,July, January, April, someone's name could be April or start with letter "J", Producer-Director, Public Display of Affection, Pedaling bicycles, P,D,E,L,G, Pedagogy, kpop group G-Idle, your person's name could start with letter E like Eunchae or something

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

I cannot even start explaining how my cards were exploring each other and were trying to explain the entire depth of the situation. By the way some of you could be here to see how deep your relationship with your future soulmate or spouse is going to be, which is alright, no shade being thrown here, but this is meant to be an introspective read which is here to explore your love life and it might not directly be about them and also that this read might feel like a prediction for your future relationship.

Aight now I see both you exploring each other in various ways in bed, seeing how good you teo can be, some of you could be dancers or might love doing tiktok, yt shorts or reel challenges as a couple. 555, this relationship can be highly transformational for the both of you and 666 gives me a vibe of slightly karmic or heavy smexually addicted to each other kinda energy. Though both of you seemed to give off that goth vibe. I am also getting someone doing "Inshallah" like now I am getting a Goth Vibe Muslim girly. 🎵Pose for me - jack remix🎵 coming through. Unlike what many people believe or what you both could have got them believing, this relationship is far from abusive or anything like that, its sweet, wholesome, both of you will be the it couple and everyone would want to have what you two have, people will get inspired by your relationship and they will admire your relationship far and wide. Iam also seeing you two being in a long term relationship committed to each other and doing the efforts and hard work on taking this relationship to the next step.

As I can see this completely different from your previous relationship, your prev relationship could have been @bu$ive and I am so sorry if you went through that. For some of you this old relationship could have been an arranged or contractual agreement or work related relationship. Iam getting 🎵Build A Bitch by Bella Paorch 🎵 and 🎵 Cinderella 's Dead by Emeline🎵 like someone here could have gone through body shaming and breast surgery just to appease their previous partner. Like this old relationship was "tormenting, tumultuous" and maybe sometimes the abuse would leave you "panting for breathe 🫁" like "your lungs would swell" either someone was abused to the point of suffocation or state of asphyxiation through physical or repetitive addiction to substance abuse. Someone here could be a single mom who decided to move out along with her child, like this person could have created some bad situation "like for some of you, you could have been rushed to hospital when this situation happened and then got drove out of the house or left you alone to pay the bills". Like there are some so and so stories of something like this happening right or something for someone that has already happened. If you are in some physically abusive relationship please leave it right away. For those who have moved on....

You might feel so traumatized from your previous one that your new person might feel like a distraction to you at the start only for him to turn into the male lead. This person will direct and straightforward in their ways. Unlike your previous relationship this person might even urge you to eat more. Aww healthy masculinity, girl the way you are going to become a girl boss under his presence. Like damn "all the girls are girling girling"

Like you have daughters or a lot of girlfriends they are all cheering the two of you.

3. How can you find depth in your relationship?

By learning how to stand up for yourself when your relationships go sour, learning how to be courageous enough to confront the truth and see it for what it is, rather than pondering upon the time, money, love and energy you had invested into your relationships and see it for what is and see where you and your partner stands in this relationship. You need to understand how to let go of your love for your partners and courageously see the truth of your relationships for what they are. Learn to unsee the roles of third parties, whether it be work or someone who might think are the cause of the end of your relationship when they are nothing more than secondary factors who played a part in the end of the relationship. The main cause always being the weak and shaky foundations of the initial relationships.

Yeah another thing is to stop finding depth in your relationships through images, old photographs or remembering the past or revisiting the memories or anything of that sort or nature, you are not responsible for someone's loveless behaviour towards you.

🎵Think of you when I'm goin' to bed

When I wake up, think of you again

You are my homie, lover and friend

Exactly why🎵

I'm also getting that "you should stop pandering over his whims". Some of you could be "photobooth girlies". You could have an air of wisdom around you, there's are very genuine aura about, you might be the type to pander over "someone's boyfriend" I'm also getting "Sloan in the office". It might resonate with you.

Anyway your pandering over your partners could skyrocket to an extent that I guess in your case, you might end up unseeing a lot of their wrongs. I also see that the depth in your relationships can be found by you developing an identity of your own rather than being all about your partner and their life. Find something you are passionate about, and try turning your hobbies into something materialistic, meaningful and worthwhile memory that can stand a lifetime with you. Create some substance and depth in your own identity and character. Chase after your dreams and what you like, chase your financial goals and preserve through financial debts and loans to get over the sadness of the shaky foundations of a relationship or a breakup to not think too much about it.

You will get and make justice for all the sorrows that you could have been through. I'm also getting a storyline of someone "accusing someone of money extortions while reaping benefits of their hard work " asked to persevere and pay the financial debts that someone else had created despite the challenges as this phase has come in your to prove yourself of your worth so that you don't sell yourself short just because you see worth in other people's eyes.

4. What is it you aren't seeing/doing about this relationship?

You may have a tendency to show off your happiness or talk a lot about good things happening in your life to the internet to not focus on the anger or unsuccessful attempts at reviving a relationship from hell. (Like Gurl what are you doing 😱, what is not meant for you will never be there for you for a good reason) Like why are you trying to call back this goon right here, like I get the hots you had and might still kinda have for him even if you don't want to admit it but dude what are you doing??? Everyone's confused, your friends, your family, your Spotify playlist and your kdrama and Netflix algorithm are all confused at the same time. Why are you angry about him going away? You know you can still feel those cookie pleasures with other guys, damn you don't need him, what the heck girl? Spirit is saying "stop showing up your price" gurl remember the price of your happiness might be cheap for somebody else, so stop showing off how happy you are and how good you are doing to everyone. Its showing like they know you are sad about something. I'm getting "Mittens it ain't nothing to be that sad about anyway, they are a bunch of losers anyways" "like dude don't count down your blessings, stop cucking it for everyone to see, they are your gifts, not something to show but things to be proud of. If you are proud of it and feels like an expression of yourself then yeah post it, but stop highlighting it and showing it off. OMG girl, its giving insecure like professional insecure" idk why I gave y'all a nickname and then that sass talk, but some of your sassy girlfriends are like, they are also cheering you on "yess girly move on" "row row row your boat, row it away from him"

I think first things you are seeing everything as a price not precious memories and experiences cause maybe you are so immersed in your previous experiences that you don't see the value in your current relationship or current state of affairs despite knowing the fact that you are an Empress, you can have whoever you want whenever you want in your life. You could not want to see those blessings as blessings cause maybe they feel like a loan that will become a debt, so now instead of focusing on working to pay that you have officially decided to halt and not accept the blessings that are being given to you. But remember not everybody gets a loan, you have to be eligible to get one, so know that life is giving it to you because it knows you can pay it back.

So stop treating beautiful relationships and connections that come to you like a blessing as a loan and know that you are getting the privilege to experience it because you have the potential to pay it back and work for it. 💝

OMG damn girl!

5. How is the lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

I almost said "how is your physiology affecting your biology" you guys could be gym trainers or health advocates, dieticians or athletes . I am getting the word "condemning". "Part of it is misconstrued " seems like part of the reason why your partners might feel you lack depth could be their own misunderstandings about your image.

Regardless that's on them, people who know each other closely know that it all starts with communication. Assumptions in a relationship doesn't last long. Idk why pile 3 but I do feel like there can be some communication issue on your part as well, afterall if you are someone who gets misjudged a lot, why doesn't your partner communicate their doubts with you, so you can clarify them. You may have a past of letting in shallow people into your life without even getting to know them on a deep enough level to start a relationship. This gives "misconstrued ideas led to Frieda being the golden poster boy, even though she's a girl"

What I'm seeing with my cards here. All of it just seems like a lot. Pile 3, do you even realise the weight of taking your parent's behaviour or tradition or legacy or do you just take whatever is being given onto you. I wouldn't lie, someone's parent or specifically grandparent's here seems more like the character Shakuni from the Indian mythology Mahabharata. For context this character was considered as one of the most cunning cruel and clever human beings of his time, whose intellect and smartness rivaled to that of Gods, but this man had a problem ,he used his cleverness and smartness to push Duryodhana and all his 99 brothers against the kind and well meaning 5 brothers of the Pandava clan. He was also responsible for spreading his venom in the King's ears leading to a great war later on. I feel like some of your difficulties start from this type of father/grandfather archetype who spews nonsensical venom in your ears, and you listen to it without using any of your own judgement or discernment of your own. I'm getting the word "hostel". R.K. Narayan's Malgudi Days could be significant for someone here. There's a story related to it, Father's help, where we see that Swami is more scared of provoking his dad than telling him the truth. I don't know I think you are either scared to question the forceful authority in your household/friend group/community than follow the truth and wisdom your heart speaks to you. My Tumblr banner is "Let your heart be your compass". Trust your heart, let it row your boat, without judgement. Your heart knows, I don't why I am getting this unforgiving treacherous eye on someone. You guys could be quite unforgiving towards people due to a slight mistake people could do in your tradition or culture. This is so sad pile 3. Not everyone knows everything about you or your traditions.

I also see you not taking a stand against this injustice when your parents or elders in your family cuss at your partner. This is so disappointing. Iam also seeing the lack of depth could be due to your parents treating you like some object whose love life needs to be decided by them. I also see you blindly following some sort of standard like caste, bloodline, religion or a certain job that your parents wanted you to do, and the partner they think you should have. This either seems like a barbie doll game to them where everything from A-Z needs to be perfect or you seriously are allowing this kind of mindset, generational pattern or parents to genuinely take over the autonomy of your relationships, for them to decide your life.

The key here is to actually feel what you actually feel about a person, or things related to your partner rather than pushing your feelings aside, letting your parents handle it, or not seeing how much it hurts both you and your partner to be in a position of being dictated by your parents. The more you push your emotions and judgment aside, the more you will push a huge amount of suppressed emotions waiting to break you, your character or your partner down one day.

6. What else can you do to navigate your love life smoothly?

I honestly feel like coming to balance with yourself and your partner is the first step to start. I see you being someone who takes the initiative every single time, thereby stressing yourself and eventually putting so much of your energy, time, and attention on the people you love without expecting the same in return. This constant need to " win over a person" needs to stop. You are not broken or defective for you to be the only person to fix everything in a relationship. Both of you can see how broken the relationship is, if your partner isn't willing to try, stop trying to make it work in order to keep the relationship. What's the point? If they are already not putting in efforts, what's the point of keeping this relationship going? Its never going to work. Why do you have to be the person putting in all of the work? Why should it always be you who puts efforts into the relationship and not them.

In my cards you need to understand the difference between when and when not to put efforts into a relationship. Try understanding the energy of receiving in a relationship. You could be the type of person who gives a lot to their other half. Stop it, open your eyes and see, if this is even getting reciprocated or not. I'm not saying measure your love, I'm saying if you aren't getting reciprocated the same in return, why not communicating that with your partner and reaching a conclusion? Cause sometimes its our fault as well, we give so much love, gifts, flowers to our loved ones in hope they know we love them and then later on find them dissatisfied with us, cause maybe your partner just expected you to gift them all those only for wanting to touch their body, never realizing you wanted more depth. That's why communication is so important. Hence understand that our efforts may not be taken in the same way our partners might think. Hence become who not only nourishes but also gets nourished in their relationships.

Let your guard down and allow people to spend their money, time and energy on you. Allow new beginnings a relationship or for someone here allow people to gift you and bring new relationships towards you, let it all get balanced, you do not have to win over everyone. Partners may not understand your love language, stop giving away everything (like are you some $uicudal bit¢h or what? Why are you giving away everything? Calm down, learn the art of reciprocation and let them pamper you a little bit)

I'm getting this specific, someone's own suicide memories could have got triggered somewhere, so sorry about that. Idk if I should delete the joke or not. But please don't read the next paragraph thank you

(now please don't get offended on $uicide joke, this admin is a bit crack on dark humour, if I offended you I'm sorry for triggering something)

Stop trying to be this unforgettable lover and listen or heed the advice of lover once, stop trying to create an epic live story, just create a good one)

Omg Pile 3, so many hesitations, so many worries, things happening around in an untimely manner, someone here could have mars square Pluto, mars square some planet in scorpio in natal chart, mars square venus with their partner, or venus square in their natal chart. Stop trying to build the relationship without putting any emotional work or communication into it and focus more on connecting and receiving love.

Yup Pile 3. Take care and Be yourself in a relationship. Bubye, (idk why I wanted to call you my bubbas or something, maybe you guys work with children on a daily basis on something)

Pile 4

1. Confirmations :

Someone in this pile could be waiting for an answer for proposal, "have you decided yet", Important decisions, Wakanda, Earrings, UAE, T,compass, 🧭, WWE, letter T,W,K,W,U,E, number 3,6, 9,March,June, September, August, Sagittarius

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

"How deep is your mistake with each other?" What an interesting storyline, is this relationship relationship built on deep faith and trust with each other due to the things you mistook about one another. Its as if you both were able to forgive big mistakes made in this relationship and thus formed a healthy relationship later. Oh my gosh! What a love, my loves.....💖

Idk why I want to ask, what is this mistake you made about each other....

Its in the past, but one of you guys mistook the other to be a showoff of some sort, idk for freely giving out their money or wealth, some family member could have defamed the other as some shameless gold digger, 🤣 I see this family member being on the lookout, nothing more, though it must have been harsh for you. I am literally getting "the golden couple" for you guys. Omg! So you guys could be moving slowly building this relationship and investing into. Some of you could be pregnant, congratulations! May God Bless both of you a long life with your baby. 💖💖💖

I am getting "Diet Mountain Dew" by Lana Del Rey

I was shuffling the deck, and then there was this mysterious card that tried to fly out but mysteriously went back flying in as nothing happened. And this was the card of work, perseverance, patience, focus and mastering the masterpiece, 8 of pentacles or so I thought but the way it hid itself only to reveal 3 of pentacles to me, despite my intuition shouting 8 of pentacles tells me a lot of things, your hard work in a collaborative effort remains hidden. You could be some sorta hidden in helping your person, family or business build their fortune. Its actually a collaborative effort, but my oh my, does your person know this? Wow so you love helping people without telling them a thing huh? OMG your love is lucky, i heard "pretty annoying", guess they don't like you interfering with their workspace, oh my gosh! And you, our Quite Quintessence are helping them behind the scenes. Your giggles could be infectious pile 4, trust me, this relationship is deeper than the formation of this land!!! OMG this seems like a past past way way past life couple. Oh my gosh, what are you guys doing here on Earth? I mean Thank You for inviting us in this space, thank you for allowing me and my spirit guides to write about your beautiful friendship/relationship. Thank you for healing this space with your sacred energy, sacred bond and following your heart's will. We are grateful to have you here, through this stormy Planet Earth. This is definitely a connection which goes way back, with starseed energy, circulating its love through the Cosmos.

I think this is a soul bond and only time will tell where it will lead the both of you together in this journey. Iam not the one who can tell you that. If this connection 's reconciliation is what's haunting you, know you have been friends before lovers, so this will go way back. You both are here for each other always as supporters and cheerleaders for each other's soul. Don't let human parameters make you fixate on this relationship 's terms and conditions. This seems like a soul connection that could have gone cold for some of you

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships?

I feel like someone's asking me "How can you find the soul connection?"

First of all, I didn't even apply oil to my hands. Iam already channeling "Oily hands" ok what? "Steak" 🥩, "stake", don't tell me you two fight over leftovers 🤦🏻‍♀️ . I think someone here wants to know how to find that soul connection. Maybe you are being confused by your own mind right now. It seems this is a higher dimensional connection, where the energies are forming current. I feel like you should remain, rest assured that they are watching over you, whether dead or alive in their soul form, they are not trying to find you though, they could be pretty much invested in some other connection for some of you. So maybe we are looking into your future connection. Avoid trying to bypass their spirit guides and their ancestral protection, some of you could be bypassing that by the means of intuition, Iam almost getting that you are bypassing their safety, on a spiritual sense by doing activities like physical spying, which could be triggering spiritual warfare towards them or through them, just stop it, "do not overdue your time and luck on Earth" that's a call out for some of you there. You could be getting attacked in your sleep, dreams or subconscious recently, it's their ancestors attacking you. Do not bypass anyone's spiritual protection, their soul decided to be a part of their family to help alleviate the generational curses in their family line not yours. Everybody has a spiritual protection, do not by pass it by any means. It might ultimately affect your connection only. Don't judge their family legacy, don't get tempted by greed, idk don't try to force something like this. Let it happen. The dominant one in this relationship could be a female, anyway it feels like the dominant energy is pretty much looking for their lover everywhere in their grief and pain, while the other is gone, and are unable to let go of them. Be careful for what you wish for though, have some patience and let God clarify your path. They are no good for you, still you want them right now.

How can you find depth in your relationships? Or what can you do to find that depth in your relationships? Well, "sharp gaze" "knock it off" someone could feel real flustered with someone's deep eyes and sharp glaze. I feel like this has something to do with you learning to connect with your emotions, 🥺 letting all your emotions flow, rather than selective emotions such as rage and anger, you should also allow the flow of softer emotions like sadness, pain, fear, as you might be someone who doesn't allows themselves to channel those emotions, hence despite being in a relationship you sometimes end up carrying trinkets of emotional baggage from your past connections, without even realising it. The baggage from your past connections and your present connections weigh you heavily in your heart space. You might not realise this at the start but will find it hard to let go of the emotional comfort, depth, energy and attention someone could have given you. Without realising this you subconsciously look for the same in your next connections, without realising the impact of that connection, you don't realise how your heart actually craves for all those emotions that your ex /past connections gave you, and how badly you are craving the same in other connections to the point you aren't able to sleep peacefully with your new connections cause internally you haven't sorted out your feelings and aren't able to fulfill what others fulfilled within you on your own. Your heart is exposing these feelings, you know what they are, let yourself be vulnerable, explore yourself and find out. Find a quiet place like cave (without snakes ofc) or some mountain to meditate and find out what it is that you are suppressing within yourself.

The depth of your relationships relies on you finding who you are

4. What is it that you aren't seeing or doing about your relationship?

First of all I am getting a storyline here, maybe there's a lot of lies and gossip mongers in (idk why I wanted to say in you or inside you, maybe its just the voices in your head) and around your circle, lying to you about your relationship. Like try putting less emphasis on these friends or community or family members. Honestly test them, cause I feel like they are here with you, standing for you because of your money only and these people won't last long, once you stop helping them. I am also getting that there's a lot of gossip in these groups about your past relationships and ex connections. There's someone you aren't seeing yet, this gossip monger is investigating in your life and telling all this info to these circles. Once you stop putting so much emphasis or investing into these circles, the value of these rumours would fade away and this person will be left with emotionally manipulative ways and tactics with which they will try to repeat again and again just for the sake of getting popular or keep telling the same tale in hopes of someone noticing them. Nothing but a bunch of lies and hoaxes. Let them bring about the misery to themselves. Let them stay restless and let them keep crying your name till endless nights while you sit back and relax. Maybe you are investing way too much in these mid-ass friend circles to whom this person is also trying to enter by breaking the fourth wall through the info they have on you. And trust me all these friend circle and communities they seem really self serving, selfish, immature and childish energies. If they are being immature with you why care about investing your time, money, energy and affection in them, they don't seem mature enough to understand, you seem like the type to give a shot to these friends. Why just stop doing so and say goodbye 👋🏻.

5. How is the lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

I am seeing a storyline here again. So pile 4 you guys could be some sort of writers, or people with imaginative and creative vocations or mostly storytelling, or writing pursuits.

Anyway I see that there's someone, (could be a person in their feminine energy, can a male too) who is unwilling to see the reality or dark side of the situation as the truth of the matter. They are clinging to this energy of a healer, or clinging on to this healing energy quite tightly, they could be a healer themselves, it seems like they have been clearing a lot of karmic debts recently. This person could be really good at understanding their losses and accepting the truth of the situation and even transmute their energy as a compassionate soul but seems like its hurting their ego as they progress to see truth, the ego of wanting everything to be exactly the way they want to preserve it, they could be losing sone sort of possesion property or literally a child, they aren't willing enough to see the changes, as watching the things they love go away drives them to insanity, to the point they could be locking themselves up in a bubble, seeing the reality for what it is but not accepting it. They are wrathful against whatever that reason because of which their relationship is being taken away from them, whether its because of their own behaviour, someone else's behaviour or external circumstances they have no control over. They are crying over it.

I think this is a cycle that continues, until they see their own reflection in the mirror and reflect to see where they have come in life. Thus upon seeing themselves in this desperate and miserable position, this person decides to make a decision, and they decide to cut the vows, the commitment they once made, the same commitment that was keeping them stuck for all this time and they take time to introspect, reflect and understand what had actually happened to them in this journey mid way. And come back to their center to finally find the very essence of the universe within themselves and try to reunite with spirit and awaken their spark through this universe's help once again, the spark that once that had once faded that was once thought to faded or dead, where the person who thought their way, purpose and passion was all over and gone, there this person starts their journey to find their truth, their beliefs through their prayers again.

I think this lack of depth in your relationships is making you weak, it makes you cling onto people almost co-dependent on them. Its your need to protect, to cling thats what's making you lose depth in your relationships. Believe it or not, you might be someone whose presence is really healing almost soothing and comforting to the point that people wouldn't want to leave this comfort zone, but its this need to cling, to protect the people you love from change, from transformation from the chaos itself where all you end up seeing and let's just say breeding (someone here has breeding kinks) is this past version of your partner's self, not wanting to see them grow, transform, become somebody else because you are so afraid of change yourself. You hate the truth, the reality, the reality that your partner, your exes, the people you loved could ever change, I am not saying you are someone bad or manipulative who wants to keep people in their comfort zone, you are so scared of losing them, and could have based your self worth on protecting or helping out your partners to an extent you might not even realize how you end torturing the people you nurture. Its literally giving me a mama snake eating her own eggs due to hunger. Its as if you saved these egglings or these people by healing them and protecting them only to end up depending on them for your energy. Do not do this anymore. You might think you have the power to give, give, give but one day whether you like it or not, life's karma works in a way where you will not even realise how much of an energy vampire you are turning into, by loving and giving so much of your energy and letting people go when they please after taking you for granted. If you don't unlearn this behaviour of clinging onto partners, you will not even realise how quickly it will take away your own energy from self. Stop making vows just to follow them, live those vows, be discerning of when those vows are broken, don't wait till your spark dies out.

I think its a friend group in this case, an immature circle who are constantly killing you and your spark and passion for life, and it seems you aren't willing to see their dark side. Omg pile 4.

I think your answer is right, cut-off from these fake-listed friends, find your peace, live your truth, why you tryna be with them, be like them, girl just leave stop getting angry on other people's behalf, stop taking their beliefs, you are not them, they are not you. Stop taking a stand for them and let them live their life. Let them go, make mistakes and do whatever they want to do. Let it go. Stop interfering in other people's lives and taking stand for them, you are committing spiritual bypassing, let people learn from their mistakes. Do not stand for them. Let them learn on their own two feet.

Just leave them, stop coddling a bunch of adults. Stop being so overly protective of others that you won't even let them grow.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

Right off the bat, I see an inability to move on from lovers, family, friends, enemies and classmates, and it seems like there's a lot of external influences in your relationships. Like a lot of third party energy in here. I am getting the world in reverse, this could be chasing that half baked dream, having achieved nothing in life, so you run in circles. What I see here is you unable to confront yourself and your own fears of leaving behind your friends, family, co-workers and all sorts of people, and then feeling for every one, every little being, every creature , every little person. Just stop, stop ok. Do you even know all these properly, even if you know everything there's to know about these people, does that make you close to them, or does that make you knowledgeable. That's it, you haven't connected with them on a level where they'll reciprocate your feelings for them the same way you would. Suppose you got transmigrated to your fav manga, do you know these characters yes, maybe you do know the tea, but did you connect with them, did you feel for them, did they give you back the same in return. That's my question to you pile 4, you act like you sort of know or understand people based on your knowledge of human psychology or tarotology or astrology or biology or anatomy but that doesn't mean you have connected with them, formed a bond with them. These people cannot be obliged to fill your emptiness just because you know them, and they have known you. If they haven't connected to you the way you have, you don't need to reciprocate further than how much they reciprocate.

Maybe that's why you were asked to become more vulnerable to feel people and form bonds with them and connect with them rather than relying on your knowledge about them. That's not how it works. If you don't express your love, feelings, efforts you have put on people and aren't brave enough to let them go when they tell you to do so, how will you ever find someone who will someone who will reciprocate your love, your feelings and your efforts. Knowing somebody doesn't mean you have connected to them, making efforts to know them doesn't mean they owe you something. You should be smart enough to discern when to let go of a person who doesn't want to let go and is clinging to you, your energy, your time and your attention mercilessly at your own cost. Let people go, don't let them latch onto you or attach to you or your energy you don't deserve this.

Please understand that if you haven't built a proper foundation with someone, you cannot expect them to know you as well as you do nor reciprocate you in the same manner. Please stop staying stuck in a loop of depression, chaos, shouting against this injustice. Just speak up, express your feelings, draw your boundaries and leave them. Don't engage with them, hate on them, or exact revenge from them, its just restless. Take your big sis's advice.

And instead of looking at all the investment you made in your relationships and pondering over it all sadly and recollecting those past stories, and reliving those feelings and emotions, focus on yourself, your own self care routines, exercises, hobbies, passions and things you would love to do. Take the risk and do what excites you, pursue your dreams.

Pile 5

1. Confirmations :

Yung kai - blue, lose you love me -selena gomez, Baymax, Axe, Quantico the series, Gunshot,Blood Loss, Bongola Bongo Cha cha cha, "Hit the Intelligent button Todd that's right" I channeled this, J Cole fan, someone here in this pile could be in midst of feud, Obsessed - Mariah Carrey,YSL, MySQL,SQL server, number 9,6,3, September,March, June, August, May, letters: S,Q,L,X

2. How deep is your relationship with each other?

Immediately I am getting the word "abuse" (excuse me?). As I can see in your previous relationship whatever relationship this is /was. You made the right choice by walking away despite missing this person from time and time again. It must have been really hard to let go of your past lover ("someone who was berating you with comments you didn't deserve to be abused with"). The universe is thanking you for choosing to leave this( "stay at home dad") dead beat person alone. After they had trampled on your emotions. And thank you for realising you were hurting yourself,( "I needed to lose you to love me " ) by keeping this dead beat around. ("Lazy ass lying about" iam channeling, don't shoot the messenger)

Thank you for leaving this person behind. Idk why I am channeling for someone named Stacy or maybe somebody being yelled at for telling their dead beat stay at home husband to buy pads for them. Thank you for leaving this abuser.

Thank you for standing up for yourself and speaking up. You may be feeling miserable right now, but that's just because you were learning and got manipulated into aligning to this attention seeking, Gen-Z spirit (could be younger than you) that you have ended up (unfortunately) successfully manifesting this misery for yourself. Its okay look up, there's light out there, there's hope out there, go and achieve whatever you want. You may feel undeserving of it but learn to trust and believe in yourself despite all those long years of successfully possessing (you could be possessive of your partners) this person and realizing that it only ended up in you attracting more misery and chaos for yourself. You may still have that competitive spirit in you, so go for it, it isn't late to make those "wish upon stars" dreams come true.

Good job finding peace again. It must be a long battle of survival. You can rest here if you want 👇🏻

3. How can you look for depth in your relationships?

"By expecting princess treatment and by expecting yourself to be guided by others"

This is such a weird message but seems like you need to understand how to listen and obey a good advice diligently with discipline to achieve good results in life. It seems like you are the type who always needs someone telling you what to do, or someone addicted to enabling relationships, enabling dynamics and some enabling tarot readers to tell you how to live life and experience it. I am someone who is personally against telling people how to live their lives. So if you are an impressionable mind or a minor, do not interact. This reading isn't for you. Please leave.

Anyways, following up the Sabrina Carpenter song, please please please, the depth you need to look for in relationships by observing the amount of times you needed to pretend to somebody else to save face for the sake of your family. How you had to sacrifice your finances to support this family member and to show the outsiders that your family has the money, the time you had to force your smile in public to act like you are in a happy relationship and everything's alright. The time you had to play hide seek with everyone around you including your partner despite living the worst "nightmare come true". Watching your entire family celebrate while your mental, emotional and spiritual health was breaking down.

You know how to find depth in situations like these, becoming so accustomed to truth that all you see is truth in life and see things for what they actually are. That's what you need, not a last minute fix, you need to align with the truth, live in truth and see truth for what it is rather than sulking into depression all the time your feelings get hurt. Stop being so attached to the feelings of the past to the extent and point that you keep deluding yourself with the feelings of attachments and keep pulling yourself down just because one or two people are pulling you down.

Educate yourself on gaslighting, toxic behaviour, and how to draw boundaries with people. There are free resources available to do that. You could have stayed in a toxic relationship for so long that now you go or sulk into depression every time someone says something that triggers your trigger buttons and bam! you are sad. Stop doing that. Recognize your own patterns that you follow in relationships and don't get comfortable with abuse if that's what your past made you comfortable with, (be careful with the next partners that feel comfortable to you guys) . Fight against those trigger patterns with knowledge and never put yourself in this situation ever again where you end up sulking into a severe depression and become paralyzed with fear to even stand up for yourself.

Only true knowledge can help you to fight back without literally fighting or making anyone else know your vulnerabilities and trigger buttons. Please recognise the people who make you pretend/fake your entire self and life to the point of mental illness, and educate yourself with proper weapons to properly fight back.

You need to train your mind in such a way that it realises how people/partners around you are trying to trigger you and understand who to ignore and who to fight against. Educate yourself and your mind to quickly come forward to your rescue with what someone's implying and what their actual intentions are than to succumb to depression and letting these words break their spirit. Once you start recognizing abusive behaviour in people, and the difference between normal and abusive behaviour, only then can you look for depth in your relationships. You could be someone very accustomed to toxic behaviour almost considering that as a comfortable feeling within men.

4. What is it that you aren't seeing/doing about your relationships?

"Merciless cards" idk seems like to you, nothing's more scary than watching or listening to the truth. These cards are not being merciless to you. They deliver truth to you or whatever the law of karm and Universe needs you to understand at the moment. They work on the ancient wisdom of the Universe, so you are often being told what needs to be known to you. These cards are coming through for you as guidance, please take their messages if their messages resonate with you. Whether your brain knows it or not, your heart knows it too. You can or will feel this message resonating if this is your truth. If not, leave, stop taking unbridled appreciative statements as a form of validation. I'm not here to validate you.

You don't or want to see /value the efforts of your inner self's gentleness and kindness, (I'm getting inner giant self). You don't value the genuineness within you. It seems like the truth that could balance you and your life out and set you free from these compromising situations is hurting you. I don't know but all of a sudden, after I wrote, I am not here to validate you, I was being pushed to be nice or something. Iam getting that some of you could have been pushed too far into being nice, mediocre and nothing more a effing daruma doll 🪆, seems like even the layers inside you were traumatized into becoming a people pleaser. It seems like you were forced into being this frickin barbie doll, this is so sad, heartbreaking and this molding is something my energy hates a lot, I can see why I can become full swing annoyed with you if I met you in my personal life cause I am not someone like that, I never did fold myself for other's needs, either hid myself and became strong enough to express it or stayed hidden till I got/ made a place to vent it all out. This seems like a person who was made out to be this way, someone who was manufactured into something appeasing and breathtaking or jaw dropping in everyone's eyes only to have their own real self being compromised. This is so sad pile 5

"I see you, I understand your pain " maybe you have said these words way too many times to too many people ("problems" maybe they were problematic people who were continuously abusing you) without them ever seeing or understanding your pain. This could have happened too many times and again it's heartbreaking for you having to go through all that. Oftentimes if you don't have a proper defence mechanism or a proper sense of your sense of self, people end up thinking that their trauma mechanism is their sense of self which is not even true. Dear Pile 5 just because you weren't allowed to react towards the pain, sorrow or problems in your life the way you would normally react to since childhood, you could have turned out to be either A) overreactive towards every minor little inconvenience or B) extremely suppressed to even talk about problems

I am getting B) it is. You could have problems speaking up, saying your mind, speaking and living your truth for yourself. There could have been people around who manipulated you into succumbing to this shell, this limit and this potential from where you could only dream of the skies, and ask yourself who would you actually be if you were allowed to see things naturally without these shells or walls on you. You feel suppressed to talk about your problems cause you don't want to appear broke, problematic or messy on the outside. But the truth is simple, you are hurt, you are broken, you are messy, you can be problematic, everyone is. What's the problem in telling that out loud? Its relatable, understandable, and might not be what people might assume about you on the outside but what's the problem in breaking this shell open and letting people, some may call you weak, some might like to dismiss this part of you, why be sad at them? Why go depressed? Why make an effort to make them understand something? Girl why do we got to do all that?!! Be confident in your flaws baby girl, just let them see it. You are unique, you are different, that's much better than everyday manufactured you. C'mon now. Be confident in you. If someone criticizes your flaws and shuns you for being you, its their thingy, why give them so much power over yourself. Go and talk to the next person! Who knows, maybe they might turn out to be nice. Why miss your whole life on partners and people who want average ping pongs and not the unique you who is different and filled with flaws and scars of experience! And this is not to say the people they choose are npc or something, this is to say that all of them are as average and as beautifully smexy as you are but at varying degrees, then why waste so much of your time on chasing people who see nothing but flaws in you girl. Why let the pain of the truth cut you so deep, when it exists to set you free? Your flaws may not attract certain people but it might attract completely your kinda people towards you.

Oh God, what you aren't seeing or doing in relationships is letting your guard down, letting people see your flaws and instead of taking their judgement to your heart, becoming a judge of their character and communicating your problem to them and if they don't understand it and continue to disrespect it. Leave it girl/boy, why you sulking? When your insecurities are the very things making you unique. Stop it! You need help if you think you gotta change anything about yourself. Like c'mon girl/boy you okay?

Take charge of your own emotions, don't let others hurt it, understand that your insecurities ARE NOT A PROBLEM. Be genuinely happy and respectful towards who you are. Only then can you actually work in partnership

Absolutely feel the rain on your skin, no one else can do it for you, no one else, no one else. Feel the rain on your skin.

Feel life through your skin, see its colours through your eyes, go and experience love the way you would like to, not through these inhibitions, doors, or walls someone or this society has offset on you. Instead of taking up other's words and judgement listen to your heart, is this what you want. Become an emotionally balanced person no matter what thick and thin comes your way in relationships. The only person you don't see when it comes to relationships is YOU baby girl YOU 💋😘.

Don't try to make it work at places where you get constant heartbreaks. Disrespect doesn't equate to explanation. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. And yeah there could have been a third party situation in your relationship. Why focus on a person who keeps prioritising third party over you, not for you.

5. How is this lack of depth in your energy affecting your relationships?

Okay Pile 5, I'm noticing this from the start that your cards have been pretty straightforward and the messages are crisp. I see that you may be someone who loves to thrive on illusionary happiness if not real one rather than see the truth for what it is. You remind me of a friend I had , she was someone who relied on the illusion of happiness that her abusive husband might change one day, despite all the pain she went through. When the party's over by Billie Eilish might resonate. Its as if you would rather fight with your partner in a relationship and get hurt than leave. You find it hard to detach from people who hurt you. Maybe because you are in constant effort to make them like you or understand them.

I don't know why I am getting a father wound here or daddy issues. Its as if there's someone who's unable to forgive themselves for defying or standing against their authority figures or a father figure,( I'm also getting a father figure employee) The depth that you could lack could be, not being able to see yourself for who you are/were naturally (in terms of stamina, strength, power or regality something), and burning out your own energy for others, this isn't fair pile 5.

I feel like there's a warning here, idk there's a warning here of some sort, you are being asked trust the unseen, and let them lead your way towards your soulmate. Some of you could have a Divine Love contract, the purpose of this is to love, understand and grow in life. There's something about letting God do the thinking instead of you controlling all the masts. I see they are not sending this divine connection on your way for a reason. There's something about losing yourself, burning out completely due to suffering, fighting and struggling so much with the Divine himself for control.

Let it rain, let life happen, you are here to experience it not control it.

I'm legit feeling Lana Del Rey's sweet voice soothingly singing "I'm on the run with you my sweet love, There's nothing wrong contemplating God, under the chemtrails over the country club"

I'm getting that someone here hates God or doesn't wants to believe in him, especially His silence. Its as if they are do not like the silence behind their divine lover or their future spouse or their next future lover messages. You might be real eager to know who this person is, without even working on yourself. Or maybe you are here with this expectation, BYE BYE

Anyways your lack of depth in your energy could be due to you staying stuck in your comfort zone. I am getting "travel" , it feels like you are being asked to release this need to control, self sabotage, seek validation and find answers but instead sit and meditate in His energy and come back home in yourself rather than finding it through external means. "Keep your workspace or home clean". "Homestuck Ballet" you can't practice ballet in home or a small room, try getting out for some fresh air, now now be a little like Quasimoto and Merida, if there are strict restrictions on going out, then break those rules a little and have your well deserved break among nature . Maintain your Work - life balance. Keep a maid if you want.

Homestuck Ballerina could be significant for you.

6. What else can you do to navigate through your love life smoothly?

Idk why but I am getting Princess Mononoke, (Ghibli studios) where the lady workers are telling me, "chalo bhatti chale" which means common let's get to the furnace. And there are two cards that popped out of the archetype deck. Spirit is telling me They aren't extra. But a part of your lesson or insight maybe that you will take with you today. Idk something about this connection is deeply connected to Divine's plan on a collective consciousness maybe. I am seeing someone drowning their better judgement or logical discernment, due to their emotional weakness or emotional state. Iam getting heavy Pisces and Cancer energy. But I see someone drowning in their emotions letting their mental logic drown despite being right. It feels like a subconscious or unconscious energy that is emotionally drowning your mental judgement.

This message is specifically for people who feel a twin flame like connection with a significant other, please understand that these soul contracts or soul connections are promises or vows your souls have made, these connections can only thrive when you can let go and allow fruit to ripe, that is when you allow the Divine to take their time and send you the green signal intuitively, only then do you move forward. Till then train your subconscious mind to stop drowning in emotions and forcing connection. Instead use the Sword to summon a storm that will seperate the water and the sky. Your actual goal in this lifetime could be learning how to discipline yourself and your desires rather than connecting with each other. The truth can be bitter. But your soul is here to learn. 💗

You are being asked to become an active learner in life, grow achieve adapt celebrate and expand your growth and keep aiming for higher goals to feel go and reach towards the Divine Light.

Definitely guard your heart for now, focus on healing yourself and when your heart settles down go for love again. "I think about you all the time 24x7 365 " 365 by Katy Perry. You all could be going googly eyed in love or something. Maybe be careful of restless and lustful energies trying to use your emotional energy to balance their life, basically energy vamps, Also set some standards for the kind of partner you want to manifest.

Idk I think there's some reality check needed here, maybe you are hiding your love or infatuation for this person, they could have unconsciously become your reason for happiness, but deep down this person/ you could be hurt,(for some its just you, for some its them too) I'm hearing Pasoori, oh my god, you both are painstakingly missing each other. This hurts, given how emotional Pasoori's lyrics are. It feels like both of you are stuck in this "Debbie Downer" mode. This could due to feeling embarrassed to admit your feelings to each other as it might do more harm than good.

Now either this person's committed to someone else. Or they are forced into this situation due to strict parents. One of you had to let go. Though it does seem like you both are ready to fight tooth and nail over this, cause you two or maybe its just your energy are possessive lovers. But I think the message here is to cultivate the patience and discipline so that both of you or just you end up trapping the other in your effort to successfully salvage your ego by reviving this connection.

[layerberitamoderna]

bisexual cuddy rocks but i honestly think there's a strong case for lesbian cuddy that i don't really see people talking about. cuddy like wilson wants normal things: a good career, children, and heterosexual relationship. and to her credit she genuinely lives for 2/3 of those things! but there's some weird stuff going on with that last one! so let's walk through some of the paces

from early in the show we see that Cuddy wants kids but wants to forego a father for a sperm donor. sure she's a busy woman, but she wants to make the time for a child but not a co-parent? I think that's notable

she struggles to find men she's attracted to and turns to online dating, a move that is odd for a woman of her status in that time period. and even then she struggles to have a spark with the men she has passable dates with. and gets called out on it! oh well, that could mean nothing

she engages in a years long will-they-wont-they with house. and while there are Many obstacles to a potential relationship other than her sexuality, I think it's really interesting that in the conference episode they make it clear that Cuddy is more interested in house when she thinks he's unavailable.

while in house POV episodes Cuddy and Lucas seem to be going strong, 9 to 5 shows us a Cuddy who is unimpressed and dissatisfied with him. this is her average day, and in it she feels a disconnect from him, definitely thinks that he's inconsiderate and clueless, and sees sex with him as little more than another task on her long, long checklist

in her relationship with house, no matter how hard he tries he can't meet her needs. he can never BE what she needs. all the logical reasons that prevented their romance for 6 seasons? really hadn't changed. she got together with him to escape another relationship that was going too successfully.

and actually funny that Lucas couldn't be what she needs either. the thing that started their romance was him stepping up to look after Rachel and you're telling me he's done a complete 360 and is now a short sighted jerk? I'm not a Lucas fan but I think her POV was unforgiving because she would find any man in her house to be a nuisance

the fact that she never got together with wilson? because on the surface they should be a perfect pair. she needs someone dependable but wants someone who pulls wild shit to keep her guessing. she knows wilson is capable of both. she's not quite needy enough for wilson but that guy stumbles into relationships with his eyes closed so there's really no excuse. I think deep down they both know it couldn't end well and don't want to ruin what they Really have – a friendship.

^ the face of a woman who is very glad her drunk boyfriend didnt break up with her

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕪 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @kataba request: Hi there, Bee! Could I request Tsukasa, Akito, and Toya with an s/o who has a large number of older siblings (they're the youngest child)?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hi kataba!! ^^ Yeah absolutely! I might've written it quite badly since I'm the oldest sibling but... I tried!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Akito definitely knows a bit about being the younger sibling... and trust me, he doesn't have too many nice stories to tell. Or... maybe he's hiding them?

✧ either way, when he discovers you're the youngest sibling, he immidietly sees room to have mutual obstacles

"Oh! I'm youngest sibling too!"

"Seriously? Well that's a similiarity... how's your oldest sibling?"

"Which one?"

"Which o- uh... How many of siblings do you have-?"

"Around 8..."

"EIGHT?! AND WHAT DO YOU MEANT AROUND?!!"

✧ he's under big impression how you manage to deal with this much older siblings when he hardly deals with one!

✧ but from your stories, he also starts to think that Ena just must be hard to deal with in general

✧ when he hears this many stories, he actually kinda wants to meet them! Maybe not the... energetic and problematic ones... but the calm, kind and mature ones sound pretty cool and obviously he wants to have good relationship with your family

✧ I feel like your siblings would have 50/50 about him... some would love him, some would have mixed feelings for him, but none of them would hate him! After all, he shows his good side for a reason~

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @miya-akane @hayillaaaaaaa @stellas-starry-stove13 @nenes-numberonefan - come get your pancake lover!

✧ Toya doesn't have any siblings, so when you mention you're the youngest from many siblings, he's immidietly intrigued

✧ he only heard few stories from Akito, but he already got to know he tends to... exaggerate his stories a bit...

"Oh? This many siblings? How was life with them?"

"Well~ When I was aging up, I..."

✧ he's genuinely interested in your stories and how aging up looked from you view

✧ he doesn't have any siblings so of course he's interested how it feels to have so many and be the youngest of them all!

✧ you don't even need to ask him if he want's to meet your siblings, the moment you start telling your stories, his face says it all

✧ he's so nervous for nothing! All of your siblings definitely would love him, he's just so sweet and mature, maybe comes off as a bit shy and nervous but they don't mind! They all aproved of him <3

✧ and let me tell you, if you let him on a little secret, that all of your siblings liked him, you'll see the cutest smile ever!!

"They really did? Well I couldn't be more glad~ I was nervous I might've been too... quiet..."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @miya-akane @toyaslove @bl4cktourmaline @r4wrclwz @stellas-starry-stove13 - come get your cookie lover!

✧ Tsukasa immidietly gives you the "I knew it!" text for some reason... is it the big brother magic that he could tell? You'll never know...

"Yeah, I'm the youngest sibling of like... 8?"

"Hah! I knew you were the youngest! It's written all around you, my star!"

"How-"

✧ he just laughs it off... you'll definitely never discover why, because Saki has no idea how he could know either-

✧ either way, he's still eager to know how it looks from youngest siblings so he'll listen your stories and in exchange tell you his own!

✧ you also odn't need to ask him if he wants to meet your family, the moment you start telling him stories about your siblings, he literally exclaims he wants to meet them

"Huh, so that's how they are... Well they seem great! I can't wait for the day of our meeting in that case! I'll make sure to prepare my best entrance for this special occasion!!"

"Oh cool, where are you free?"

"Any time! I could even go like right now! Oh but wait... I'd have so little time to prepare... Well then maybe tomorrow!"

✧ I feel like your siblings would have a little bit of 50/50 with him too... most like him but for some he's just a bit too... loud and energetic and all... but they still approve since he seems to be a nice guy?

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @bad-the-an-enjoyer @yulikesminori @alicewinterway18 @nenes-numberonefan - come get your future star~

[3hks]

Hello! I hope you're doing well 🤍

I was wondering how I could go about writing a character with sort of opposing natures (if that makes sense, haha).

My character experienced the trauma of losing her mother at a young age, followed by the abuse of her extended family until she became an adult. It was never physical, but she had to go through a lot of pressure to meet their standards.

When her mother was still alive, my character was spirited and bold by nature, and she spent her childhood in a healthy environment. By the time she reached adulthood, however, she became incredibly reserved in how she expressed herself and grew into a perfectionist out of self-preservation. Despite that, she wishes that she could one day be as free as she was when she was younger.

My question is: How could I go about balancing her older, spirited nature as well as her desire for freedom with her current perfectionism and need to meet the standards of those around her?

Also, if she were to one day find herself in a situation/ environment where the source of her perfectionism (her family) wasn't around. How would she behave?

Would she become expressive and spirited again, knowing that her family isn't around to criticize her? Or would you say the years of abuse permanently changed her nature?

Thank you!

Hello!! (And thank you!) I hope you are doing well too!

I love how much depth your character has; the duality in her personality is so fascinating and I'm honored that I get to explore her character!

*Before I start anything, let me first state that a key piece of information you mentioned is that she DESIRES freedom. I'm going to assume that this hints at the idea she herself wants to be more expressive and change.*

To put it briefly, I don't think your character would immediately shift personalities when her family isn't around. She was raised--in a way--into being reserved, into being a perfectionist, and that isn't going to disappear overnight.

My first point is that this transformation is going to take time. Initially, there is going to be a lot more of her "adult" traits than her "younger" ones.

Now, as time progresses, there's going to be a lot more development. This will likely include many internal conflicts, such as:

Confusion: Confusion about her personal identity; who is she?

Anxiety: If she does act more carefree, what are the consequences?

Doubt: Is trying to change worth it? Is she trying to be someone she isn't?

Anger: Perhaps she's mad that she wishes she wants freedom and considers herself ungrateful.

The growing development of someone is often messy. There's a lot of mental obstacles because change isn't easy. This is my second point.

Further down the line, her natural spirited self should come to light slowly. This can be in the form of genuine happiness, feeling relaxed/calm, and/or being more open about her emotions.

This is where you start seeing both sides of her.

Sometime later, her perfectionism should also loosen a bit. Perhaps she realizes that not everything can be perfect, and that's alright.

But what about in the end? What does the balance look like? Honestly, there is no obvious division because personalities and characters are fluid. However, her traits formed from her abusive past should weaken a little while her old spirit and expressiveness re-emerge.

If you want specifically what I think would change/develop, here it is!

Perfectionism: for the most part, I think perfectionism is something that is going to remain mostly the same. It might grow to be less severe, but it's definitely not something easy to overcome.

Spirited: she's been through a lot; I don't think there's any way for her to FULLY return to her child-like energy and carefreeness. She might be a little more upbeat, but she shouldn't be overly excited all the time.

Reservedness: I think this could definitely transform. Maybe she's still a bit shy, but hopefully she'll be able to freely express herself with those she's close with.

Desire to be free: freedom itself is a rather abstract thought. I believe that while she may not be completely free from the world, her worries, and her responsibilities, she grows to accept it in a positive light.

Lastly, keep in mind that internal conflicts occur everywhere. I said that they will occur towards the beginning of her development, but that doesn't mean she won't feel confused or doubt herself later on.

Thank you for your patience! I appreciate you reaching out, and I hope this helped!

Happy writing~

3hks <3

[roo-bastmoon]

With 17 versions to buy and 8 versions combined for 160 streams per Spotify account, plus Melon and FLO streams now counting, of course Jungkook’s Seven is charting high and sweeping awards. Firstly because it’s Jungkook of course, and secondly because it’s been given every possible advantage.

My (perhaps controversial) opinions about that are below the cut.

Honestly? I really can’t feel good about any “first” or “most” or “fastest” records achieved by this single—catchy as it is—which wasn’t written or conceived by Jungkook and has nothing much personal or deeply meaningful about it. It’s a fun feel-good summer pop song, for sure, but no more groundbreaking than, say, Bad Decisions (in my opinion… I have no musical expertise.)

But I can’t feel super great about all the records and awards because this many versions immediately restocked and shipped and auto play and promoted to radio and ads and leadership hyping only this while Jungkook says he wants to be the one and only artist to conquer kpop and pop for the next thousand years… it all just doesn’t really sit right with me.

When compared to the 10 months Jimin forewent sleep, food, and showers to have a hand in every aspect of his first (and deeply personal and symbolic) album, which was never sent to radio or restocked, got split tracks and delayed playlisting and shady articles, plus not one kudos or congratulations from leadership even after he made history for South Korea and stocks soared…

Forgive me, but it all leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It is ruining the song for me.

Some things like culled streams and sales are out of the company’s control. But the things I mentioned above were all possible for Jimin’s Hot 100 #1. Even if every Tannie has total say in their projects' sales and marketing, and everyone was on board with only Jungkook getting the Hybe America "red carpet" treatment, I can’t lie and say the stark difference feels fine. It doesn't, and I confess I leave the headphones in every time Seven comes up in the playlists now.

I’m not jealous. If anything, I have a warped sense of pride that Jimin has done so fantastically well despite so many, many obstacles stacked against him. I love to champion an underdog and I’m glad I never need to doubt his success was organic. I actually feel extra admiration for how humble and hardworking he continues to be—no resting on any laurels for the It Boy. I'm so glad he is my ult-bias.

*sigh*

Listen to me.

I know Jungkook and Jimin are both genuinely good people. I know they are sincerely talented and hard working. I know they truly love each other. I know all members are legitimately happy for each others' success.

I know what’s important to me may not be important to them, nor what they want for their careers. And even if I feel their company’s making shitty decisions, I know my place as a fan.

So I trust them. And I simply hang in. I hope lessons were learned for smoother, fairer future releases. Because neglecting assets makes zero business sense, and perceived favoritism can erode the group’s bonds and tear ARMY apart. It is, frankly, just plain stupid.

So I may dislike things about their solo era rollouts and I can't bring myself to sugar-coat it; but I mostly try to keep my negative thoughts to myself and find things I CAN celebrate with other fans on an open timeline.

I never want another Tannie to feel anguished and misunderstood the way Hobi did about JitB’s physicals.

Watching Jungkook’s face here on his London live when he talks about people hating him just haunts me. It guts me. I can't stand it. That kid was going through it and I don't believe he has a malicious bone in his body, so it just really upsets me seeing him like that.

There’s so, so much about this company, this industry, this culture that I just don’t understand. But I trust Park Jimin completely. As long as Park Jimin loves and supports his members, God knows, I will too.

So!! On that note...

We have Jungkook’s birthday to celebrate next week and Taehyung’s album to support the week after that. I’m going to do my best to rest up and gather some good energy for these things!

And of course, we must congratulate our Jimin, who made history again today, and no matter what, will always set the standard. I just know he's cooking up something else for us with all these weeks of silence, and I cannot wait to go BERSERK for it whenever it drops.

I’m not really sure I had a point to this post. It’s just that I have been mulling all this over for a long time, and finally felt well enough to sit up long enough to come online and type up my thoughts.

I guess what I mostly wanted to share with my friends here is that it’s okay to feel really disappointed and even enraged at the way some things play out over the (hopefully life-long) careers of BTS members. Don't let folks gaslight you. Call it like you see it. (Maybe keep sensitive things behind a cut or in the DMs--and of course, please change your mind if you get better insight. In the end, only the Tannies really know what's going on with the Tannies.)

But while I’m still side-eyeing the company so hard right now, I’ve decided to love and support the boys as people and artists. I'm trying to believe the best in everyone. I’m still an OT7 Jikooker.

You don’t have to agree with me, and if you need to unfollow, I understand. But I figured I should just tell you guys (especially the new followers) where I am at with all this.

Love, Roo

[freezerbnuuy]

Act 6:3- Age of Enlightenment (Page 4)

LORE | CHARACTERS | ABOUT / WARNINGS | CHAPTERS

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CONTENT WARNING: familial issues (discussion of awful parent again)

Áine

"No, not at all, I just... heavens." His voice and his legs are still quivering. Once the last of the lightning dissipates, I pick his wand up off the floor and offer it back to him. He flattens the static from his hair, coughs in his throat and readjusts himself, his expression returning to its usual neutrality. "How do you manage to cast such powerful magic?"

"I'm not entirely sure myself, Owen. Though you are right about one thing - I felt the same way you did. I felt immensely powerful, like I could take on the world."

"That is an element of why having to restrict my own magic use can get a little disheartening. I long for the joy it gives me; it is a kind of feeling I don't think I could live without." He looks out over the falls into the distance. "You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but may I ask who this Brádach is?"

What? All of my thoughts about him - did I say them out loud?

If we're to try and bond with one another, then I suppose I owe him the truth. He himself has taken a life, and on top of that, he hated his father. I doubt he would pass any judgment upon me. 

"I thought of my father. He handed my mother to witchfinders to save his own skin. He took the Rite of Dissolution. He said he did it for my sake - knowing that if the witchfinders found either him or Mother, they'd find me. He tried to discourage my mother from teaching my gift to me. He tried to get her to undertake the Rite!" My voices rises to a near-scream, my voice echoing across the falls. I take a breath to gather myself. "He wanted me to live half a life."

Owen looks down, wide-eyed, then back at me. His eyes are piercing, like a kite eyeing his prey across the moor.

"Even my father wouldn't have given up his wife like that," he replies, his voice almost devoid of emotion for a moment before picking up in intensity. "She might have been the only thing in life he genuinely loved that wasn't money." Teeth gritted, he lets out a sigh. "I apologise, Áine. It seems the two of us both have the same source of our anger for our spellcasting."

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Owen. I didn't mean to bring back-"

"No, no, not at all. I ought to be as honest with you as you were with me. I, too, killed my father, albeit indirectly. I locked him outside of the house during a witch-hunt some years ago, knowing at least somebody would want him dead. Please do not worry. I hold no judgment of you over your choices, Áine."

He pauses for a moment to give it time to sink in, then he raises an eyebrow at me. "Pardon me. I thought you may have needed some time."

"No, I'm fine, thank you. I have to admit that I had my suspicions, Owen. Many people did. A rich man with an ambitious son rarely dies of natural causes, after all."

Owen averts his eyes.

"Ambition? Ambition had nothing to do with it. The man stood in the way of progress in every sense of the word. He hindered medical advancements, he hindered those who wished to practice medicine themselves, and he hindered the futures of his own children. He was an obstacle that needed to be removed, as was Volpe. Without Samuel, and without Volpe, we can truly begin to move forward again."

The way he said the last part, it almost sounded as if he was addressing a crowd. I have very little doubt that ambition had nothing to do with it, that's for certain.

"We can only hope, Owen. I know you believe some of my ideas to be complete and utter poppycock, but they come from a place of only wanting to do my best for others. Magic gave us the ability to think bigger than the world we see around us, and that goes for bloodline casters as well. You should use it more often."

"It wasn't my intention to sound so harsh as I did, Áine. I apologise for that. 

I always try to keep a scientific and rational mind, but I've been proven wrong before. My own wife won over an audience during a debate we had amongst medical minds. I'd argued that we ought to move into modern science and medicine and away from the traditional and herbal methods used by the people of days gone by. She'd argued that the ancients knew what they were doing and that we shouldn't discredit their research and completely throw their methods away. Of course, she was right.

She also believes in luck and superstition, whereas I only believe in your chances of a desired outcome being improved by using rational methods to attain it - yet I feel I've been more fortunate ever since she gave me this." 

He pulls a small object from his pocket. It's a slender, graceful dragon in a short of S-like shape, carved out of a green gemstone, that resembles the aspect of the dragon god Tsuna can conjure.

"Perhaps it is merely the reminder of my wife that keeps me going, and my love for her...or, perhaps there are other forces at work that I have yet to understand."

"Don't let go of that thought of worlds outside of our own, Áine," he says, looking down and around at the magic symbols in the stone circle. "There may be merit in them yet."

[the-lark-ascending69]

Scoops Ahoy Ronance AU?

Ooh I like this 👀

First off I want to say that one of the things that attracted me to ronance when I first watched s4 was the fact that Nancy seemed to be so annoyed with her, lmao. Idk what is it about it but I love it when they can't stand each other at first. That's why I feel like a good ronance story begins with Nancy wanting Robin to stfu.

Now, unlike Steve, who was mildly annoyed but didn't pay her much attention at Scoops Ahoy, I think Nancy would be fuming whenever Robin tried to pull any snarky shit with her. I don't think she'd outright make a board to count how much Nancy sucks like she did Steve, firstly because Nancy doesn't have the same cringe material that Steve does, and secondly, I don't think Robin would act like that with a girl. I just think she's nicer to girls. Still, she's still in her S3 mode, porcupine energy, pretends to not care and be above it all while still pretty much not liking her coworker.

I think she'd find it bitterly funny and really unfair that Nancy doesn't seem to know they even went to the same school. Excuse her, she was Barb's friend first, Wheeler. Show some respect. But she doesn't see the point in telling her because she doesn't care about it, anyway. She just has this aloof, standoffish attitude with Nancy all the time. Rather than making fun of her, she's ignoring her, or telling her to stop bothering her, she's trying to read.

The truth is that Nancy is insufferable here. She feels it's undignified for her to be working at Scoops Fucking Ahoy for the summer, but she still tries to make everything the way it's supposed to because she's already going through the shame of working at Scoops, she's not going to humilliate herself by doing it poorly, too. Plus, she genuinely wants to be nice to clients, until they stop being nice to her. Still she keeps a tight smile whenever they come make her life a living hell, something her coworker can't seem to pull herself to do. It's as if Robin didn't care that people could tell she was tired or annoyed, and she's seen her fight with Erica more times than she deems appropriate. She doesn't appreciate Robin hissing like a cat at a 10 year old girl.

Nancy is just... confused as to how she even got to this point and who did she anger to get paired up with Robin Fucking Buckley. Yes, she's trying to make some money, but truly, how could this have been the only place that called her?

So she's always giving Robin a hard time, scolding her for not smiling enough and condecendingly showing her how it's done (which only earns her the most dead of stares from Robin), or telling her to just go to the back of the store to keep playing with her language tapes if she's not going to do things correctly. Robin just rolls her eyes at that.

She doesn't mock her as much as she does Steve, but when she does, it's her way of challenging her in her flaws, it's constructive even if neither of them realize. Nancy will ramble about how Robin clearly doesn't care about their job and she's sorry if she doesn't need it as much as Nancy does, but she won't let her become an obstacle, to which Robin responds by raising her eyebrows, throwing her head back and saying "wow, Wheeler, that was so inspiring. I mean, I knew the Wheelers were dirt poor but I didn't think it was that bad. Hey, look, we have that in common!" Nancy doesn't like being undignified, but Robin isn't afraid of shaking her a little - mostly making sarcastic comments whenever Nancy does something she wouldn't expect Nancy Wheeler to do, in a way that is unfair because it shows how little she knows her and how many ugly things she assumes about her. That's another thing that drives Nancy mad too, because she's still so full of pain and fear and anger, and now this weirdo is poking fun at the fact she owns guns (plural) as if it were some kind of punchline and not another piece in her trauma puzzle.

I think they surprise each other by how well they work together while cracking the code once Nancy stops scolding Robin for running through the mall and standing on a table, spinning around while talking to herself. She's shocked by the fact she speaks four languages, and even more shocked when she cracked the code when Nancy couldn't. That's when she stops seeing Robin as an apathetic weirdo who's made it her life mission to annoy her, and starts seeing her as an incredibly intelligent young woman whose brain works in mysterious ways. Nancy almost wants to take her brain out of her head and study it, because it's as if she were hanging upside down, looking at things backwards and reading secret patterns no one else can see. It actually inspires Nancy to try to solve problems the way Robin does. It surprises Robin to no end when Nancy is suddenly taking her seriously and asking for her opinion. She's so shocked she doesn't even make sarcastic comments about it.

I think Robin starts seeing Nancy differently as she starts to open up, slowly. She tells her the essential only at first - different dimensions, girl with powers, monster hunting, demonic possesions, now apparently russian spies as well. Whenever Robin asks how she even got involved in all of this, Nancy gives an obviosuly incomplete explanation about helping a friend find his brother (Robin sees through it immediately - why go so far for someone she didn't even know? It'd make a little bit more sense if she did it to help her own brother, but that's not what she said, so she's obviosly hiding something). Robin is still shocked that Nancy Wheeler owns guns. She's even more shocked when she gives one to her, as if she knew what to do with it, and even more when they get intercepted and Nancy fucking shoots and kills one of those guys. Robin did not expect her summer to go like this. It must be some weird kind of dream.

It happens slowly. Robin shows more of her charming nature without quite opening up. She manages to trick an agent by speaking a little bit of russian, she manipulates one of their torturers so they won't hurt Nancy, she bravely talks back despite Nancy begging her to keep her mouth shut and somehow it works. Somehow these people are convinced, somehow, that it's more convenient for them to keep them alive and with all their bones intact. It's like Nancy has been thrown into a whole new reality, in which making yourself small and try to politely convince people to listen to you isn't compulsory, in which you can be defiant and cunning and determined and win. Make them listen to you. Even if the victory is small, it's still a victory. Thanks to Robin, she gets to keep all her nails. Maybe talking so much wasn't a flaw after all.

She opens up slowly - about Barb, and her guns, and the violence she's seen and all the pain inside her heart, and Robin feels so stupid for thinking she was a priss. Nancy is profoundly touched by grief and loneliness. She lost a part of her heart at 15 she's never getting back.

But Robin doesn't open up back. She apologizes for being mean and reassures her that they'll both see Barb soon, and she won't be alone when that happens. All she says about herself is that she feels, you know, like she ruins everything. Nancy doesn't understand, but what Robin means to say is that she has only thought about Tammy Thompson once since this all started, and it was to say to herself, I don't even care if I never see her again, if I get to die next to Nancy Wheeler. And she feels like that is even more forbidden, somehow.

They're drugged. They talk. They're rescued and they get sick and they vomit most if the drugs. Most of it. And they ask each other things. Nancy asks why so many languages, and Robin tells her about Operation Croissant, thinking Nancy will make fun of her, but it seems she just finds it cute. She asks Nancy about Jonathan. She tells her she doesn't think their relationship has any salvation, after she made them lose their previous job. That's stupid, says Robin. Weren't you right after all? Your boss is a piece of shit, by the way.

I dragged him with me. He shouldn't have lost his job because of me.

Fuck that. I'd say it's on your boss. Didn't that guy send you to solve the mystery of the missing mustard?

My boss? Yeah, something like that.

Nancy asks her then if she's ever had any boyfriend. She can't imagine anyone being unable to fall utterly in love with Robin once they get to know her. She expresses this sentiment to her, and Robin gets somber all of a sudden. You don't actually know me, Wheeler, she says.

I like to think I know enough to mean what I say, Nancy replies.

Well, you're wrong. People just... don't know me. No one does. I don't know if you've realized, but I don't have any friends. I'm not the kind of person who's known by other people. Or has friends.

It breaks Nancy's heart a little to hear that.

Robin, do you think we could be... friends? She asks. She normally wouldn't say something like that so directly, but she's still under the influence of drugs, and she really wanted to be Robin's friend.

But Robin feels like becoming friends with Nancy while knowing of these newly developed feelings is a crime. It is if Nancy doesn't know the truth.

There's something you need to know before we're friends.

What is it?

You're not gonna like it, and you're not going to want to be my friend after you hear it.

Robin, you can tell me.

Do you remember Tammy Thompson?

And so she tells her. She tells her almost everything: that she's always felt out of place, always a stranger, always an outsider, always unable to keep friendships and always feeling something she shouldn't. Worrying about what people were gonna say, what they were gonna think, if they were going to hate her, if she was simply too much and had something fundamentally wrong in her that made her unloveable. She dumps all of this on Nancy, expecting her to be annoyed or disgusted, or to simply realize she didn't actually like Robin all that much, in the end.

But Nancy just takes her hand says, Robin, listen to me. That is not true. Any girl would be lucky to have you.

And in that moment, it feels like she's breathing in for the first time in her life. Like there's a small puzzle piece being sloted into a hole in her heart that she'd forgotten was there. She feels her nose itch, and her eyes water a little bit.

Can we be friends, then? Nancy shyly asks, like a kid at the playground. Robin laughs weatly and nods.

Uh... yeah. Yes. I'd love to be friends, actually.

Nancy smiles, and to her surprise, she raises on her knees and hugs her. It's been a long time Robin has received a hug from anyone other than her parents, and she's never felt this happy.

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Every week I will post various reviews I've written so far in 2025. You can check out my Goodreads for more up-to-date reviews HERE. You can friend me on Goodreads here.

Have you read any of these? What were your thoughts?

___

6. Dating & Dragons by Kristy Boyce--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of the things I love about the books in this series is the communication between the characters and how fun the stories themselves are. This isn't to say that they don't deal with some heavier topics every once in a while, but they're done so well that they mesh right into the rest of the story. Also, these books makes me wish I was a Dungeons & Dragons player.

I will admit that I was a little scared of reading this book because I enjoyed the first book so much. Thankfully, Boyce did a great job of bringing to life a set of characters that were very fun to read about. The friendship dynamic between all of them was great and they had the sweetest moments. I also loved that they essentially adopted the MC so readily. They had her back entirely and sometimes that's all I need in a YA book.

I was hooked from the beginning and the pacing, fun situations, and memorable characters (like the grandmother and her meddling) made for an addicting experience. I think this will be such a great read for those hunting out a shorter book that will completely capture them. In a way, I think I ended up liking this more than book one.

The love interest was adorable and though their arc was pretty predictable, I liked how well Boyce introduced the topic of consent. There was so much mutual respect here between the MC and her love interest. No third act breakup, no misunderstandings that lasted chapters and forced the plot along, and a great group of friends.

I highly recommend these two books!

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7. The Headless Ghost by R.L. Stine--⭐️⭐️⭐️

THE HEADLESS GHOST was definitely one of those Goosebumps books that I would have enjoyed as a kid--mainly because of the predictability of it, but also because of those "twists" at the end. Very classic Goosebumps.

These two kids are little terrors and I totally expected them to face more consequences for their actions. I think they got away with too much LOL. One of the things I find with these books is either parents who are too harsh and/or don't believe their kids, or parents who feel absent--in this case, heavy sleeper parents who don't hear their kids leaving their homes to cause chaos around their town.

I did like the shoutout to Hill House, though. I genuinely wasn't expecting that ending and I have so many questions.

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8. The Shots You Take by Rachel Reid--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

I love Rachel Reid. Her books are so addicting and readable. I have this habit where I pick up multiple books to read at once and sometimes there's one book that stands out and I can't put it down, and of course, Reid's book was the book this time around.

One of my absolute favourite things about this book is that these two MCs reconnect in their forties. We get flashbacks of when they were younger and played professional hockey, but we get so few queer romances with middle-aged characters that this was incredibly refreshing. Also, I liked seeing that they had settled lives that welcomed this not-so-new person back. Seeing them choose the love they thought they had lost over the nearly two decade long silence was so sweet and held a nice dose of hope.

I'm normally iffy about second chance romances because a big part of the romance is overcoming the obstacle that had broken the couple up in the past. The only drawback of this book for me was this and how long it took me to overcome that iffy-ness. The rebuilding of trust, the shared pain of regrets, and the grief-laden anger from one character to the other were hurdles I had to jump over so I could love these two. And I will admit, it didn't take me THAT long, since they were both such special characters.

I loved the pacing of this book. While the story itself, for the majority, spans less than a week, the way Reid wrote it made it feel like it was weeks long (in a good way). These characters communicated, trusted, and eventually, allowed themselves to feel emotions they had been terrified to feel in the past. The levels of emotion were definitely heightened because of the grief they both felt, but this gave so much more depth to the story as well.

I liked that beyond their romance, these characters were essentially given a second chance to find themselves. One had to figure out who he was without his dad's supportive presence, while the other had to figure out who he was outside of his divorce and teenage kids. I also just loved how much of a golden retriever one of the characters was.

Reid also touches on mental health and how stigmatized it is in male-dominated sports. It's not the first time she does this with one of her characters, but she does it so well. We catch glimpses of the past as one of the two characters struggles with his mental health, and see it in the present as he comes to terms with his grief and the resurfacing feelings and trauma he has surrounding his love interest. I also loved that he had such a strong friend group to help him through the more difficult moments in his grieving journey.

And yes, there is spice. It's not the most important aspect of this book, but it's there. The tension between these two characters is tangible and I loved going on this journey with them.

___

9. A Million Junes by Emily Henry--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I love Emily Henry's adult novels and I've now enjoyed a couple of her YA books, but while her beautiful writing shone through in A MILLION JUNES, I found the story itself to be…shrug?

I can understand the love for this book, especially because of how well it's written and the power of the MC's grief for her father (trust me, anything to do with grief and dads absolutely destroys me). But while there were bursts of magic and fantastical explorations of the past that haunts the MC's family, I found myself counting down the seconds of my audiobook until the story ended. With so much potential and so much body, this story felt like both nothing and everything was happening at once.

I don't even know how to explain this feeling. It felt like I was going in circles, with people repeating the same warnings, having her best friend continuously challenge her to do things that she was banned from doing, and people just casually walking over the MC's boundaries. And don't get me started on that teacher.

I do wish this had been a dual perspective story. I would have loved to see things from the love interest's perspective, especially since his family was also cursed. Like, we get to see her resolution and heartbreaking/heartwarming final scenes with her dad, but though we only got glimpses of his trauma and grief, we never really get his conclusion. It felt a bit one-sided and like his story was being erased. In a way, it felt like the curse itself--where each family had their own story and that side only heard and believed the story they chose to see/hear. I think the MMC deserved to have a voice in this, rather than having others speak for him (again, like that teacher).

The MC herself annoyed me at times too, but I also know she was a grieving teenagers with a lot of questions and people around telling her what she should or shouldn't do. I did like that she channeled these questions and experiences into her writing, though.

Overall, this story had its moments where the magic was palpable and the memories brought tears to my eyes. But there were also frustrating moments where the story went in a circle and people didn't know how to mind their own business. This could have been an even grander story, in my opinion, but it only felt half completed. Shout out to Henry, though, for making this such a beautiful exploration of grief and the questions we're left with when it's an abrupt loss.

Also, just wanted to say that while the concept of this book was very unique, it was very reminiscent of THE LOVE THAT SPLIT THE WORLD because of some of the "exploring memories" part of the story.

___

10. Who I Was With Her by Nita Tyndall--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have so many thoughts on this book. And maybe I over-empathize with main characters, but I have a few gripes with both the way this was written, but also with some of the reviews I've seen.

WHO I WAS WITH HER is a heavy, heartbreaking, and emotionally-draining book. It deals with a teenage girl who is grieving, in silence and alone, the death of her secret girlfriend. She is GRIEVING. Like one of the characters says near the end of the book: "I feel like i should be [okay], but I'm not. Or I feel like I am, but I shouldn't be. Grief is...Grief is weird".

I think in the process of writing about this character, some readers forget that she is, in fact, in the middle of a chaotic emotional moment. Add in the fact that she's lost when it comes to what she wants in life, has lived with trauma from an alcoholic mother and a father with expectations from her that she feels obligated to fulfill--it all makes for a very emotionally drained character who is prone to making questionable decisions.

Is she selfish? Sometimes when someone needs to decide what they want out of their life, some choices may seem that way. This MC was so lost in such a dark place, that when a light comes to her, it's okay for her to be selfish and reach for it. She spends so much of the book worrying about what others think, that I think it's okay for her to finally do what SHE wants.

One of my biggest gripes with this book is how the issue of "coming out" is treated. I hate, hate, hate that she was pressured so much. I hate that she is being called selfish and a coward for it. People come out when they want to, when they feel safe, or whenever feels right. Queer people don't owe shit to others who give them ultimatums or pressure them by calling them cowards. As someone who didn't come out until adulthood because, and I remember this clearly, I was one of those who thought that if I hid it deep enough, I would forget it and I could be "normal". Coming out can feel so daunting, even if it sometimes feels like a blanket suffocating you because you can't be yourself with the people you love, that you sometimes wonder if you could be in the closet with those very people for the rest of your life. This is why I understood the MC and her fears. Having people pressure the TEENAGE MC in this book by calling her a coward and essentially, manipulating her, was not it and I worry about what message this sends to teen readers living in the closet.

I do like that this issue was addressed near the end of the book and that the MC takes ownership of what she wants and that she finally learns that she is the one to choose when to come out. But the majority of the book is this dark cloud of pressure that left me with such a bad taste in my mouth.

I liked the bisexual representation and that the term was actually used. I liked the commentary on racism and bigotry and how it's so important for it to be pointed out and challenged. I liked the MC's arc of growth as a character. Her best friend was truly a gift and I liked her journey as well.

I feel that when adults read books about closeted queer teenagers dealing with trauma, they forget that they are reading about children. She was grieving and latched on to a person who could finally grieve alongside her in a way that was relatable to her. She was bombarded with others' expectations. She was called a coward and told that it was her fault why her girlfriend never told the world about her before she died. Some of the things her girlfriend's brother says to her, though from a place of grief as well, were really, really traumatizing. This whole book was just a lot.

But all of that to say that the ending, for the most part, had some great cathartic moments. This wasn't a perfect read, far from it, but it also had some narratives that required an intense level of critical reading. And for fuck's sake, this wasn't a romance novel. This was a book about grieving a love and finding a way to survive that grief.

I already had some heavy thoughts about this book, then I read the reviews and I just. Sigh.

___

Happy reading!

[stellar-constellations]

Hi! I just wanted to let you know that I binged your Star Patient series in one go and I love how you write! I was so immersed I actually got so disappointed when I realized I hit the end of the uploaded chapters haha. I'm really loving Reader's character in terms of how she deals with the verrrrry questionable obstacles coming her way, girlie needs a break to just cuddle it out with Andrew or something. Anyway yeah I just wanted to drop by and let you know I'm absolutely eating your writing :D

Thank you so much! It means so much to know people enjoy the personality I chose for reader! I honestly love writing her.

I didn't want a Mary Sue type of reader, or a reader who just seems like a replacement of Ashley (I'm getting real tired of seeing these rip-offs of Ashley, she has her own charm nobody can compete with).

I wanted a reader with her own psychological issues and problems, this series is for Andrew, who is from the psychological game genre! It only made sense having a unique character to go with him! I wanted to match the game's elements and have the reader just like it; battling with her morals and if what she's doing is right, just in a different type of context and setting.

Reader's obstacles and drama in her life is just crazy, but we embrace the crazy. It'll be boring just reading the same thing you've already seen inside of the TCOAAL game, so I wanted to flesh out my own plot and characters. Reader might not be everyone's cup of tea, but she's mine and I love her.

Honestly, I'm still trying to understand Andrew's personality because of how complex it is (I simp for this man so hard, we need more fics of him). Andrew is such a pain in the ass to write sometimes, but I really love him for it, so please bear with me if he seems out of character, because he is! He's my own version of Andrew I wrote for this story, so he's not going to be canon, just like how the timeline and characters aren't canon either.

She really does need to sit back and take a breather with Andrew, but her trust issues refuse to and we'll see why in later chapters~

I've been hinting the introduction of a new character, and chapter 6 will have plenty hints of that, so I'm really excited for their eventual release since it'll really spice up the story and characters. It's a yandere story, after all.

Slight spoiler for chapter 6 down below, if you didn’t already piece this out:

I don't know if anyone has pieced this out yet, but our reader is bipolar (hence part of the psychological aspects of her), and it's something we'll see more of in chapter 6 and onwards. I'm going to do my absolute best to not make her a stereotype of the typical bipolar stereotype (0-100 real fast, sudden mood shifts, etc). I don't want it to feel like anybody is being targeted or portrayed inaccurately, nor to do I want it to feel as the disorder is glamorized/romantized. I want reader to feel like a real person, just like how disorders (especially mental) are real too.

I'm definitely going to have to update my warnings because I'll be honest, the plot is being written as I write along and I don't want to trigger anyone or have unsuspecting readers read something they weren't expecting, so make sure to reread my warnings when chapter 6 is out!

I genuinely didn't believe many people would care much about this series, and I wrote it for fun, but it's such a wonderful surprise seeing people engage in my stories and ideas, you're apart of this journey just as much as I am.

Chapter 6 is currently at 6,000+ words and still has a lot more to go through, so it'll be a long chapter! Thank you my stars, for your support, patience, and giving me motivation!

The Andrew "Andy" Graves complete masterlist

Inbox is currently OPEN for questions about the story and new plotlines/ideas, temporarily closed for requests!