#but then like. why would u call it male presenting when what you MEAN is just male

[earlyspringtranscendence]

i know this is FULLY the opposite of the point but i need a stuffed animal the exact size shape and most imptly weight of the meep bc im moping and having a meepsized stuffed animal would fix me

[my-castles-crumbling]

Oh my godddd do I need ur advice Cassssssssss! So in my friend group with have this mildly sexist joke, of whenever an annoying man does something irritating, we say “ugh men suck”. I am conscious that an “ugh women suck” would offend our group and therefore we’re hypocritical, but to be fair, we say it when men randomly sexualise us, they say it when women cry… so? Anyway, the other day, me (im a girl btw), and two of my other friends were hanging out in town. Ones a girl and ones a boy. 

And this guy walks past and catcalls us, and my friend rolls her eyes and goes “ugh men fucking suck”. And my guy friend (who btw him and our other guy friend have said they’re fine with these jokes as long as we don’t act like they’re a part of it? u know) jokingly goes “ouch”. It’s a joke. I knew it was a joke and laughed. He’s respectful and kind and sweet and the type of guy to agree that that type of guy SUCKS.  

BUT MY FRIEND goes; “Oh not you, you don’t count. You’re not a real guy.”

He’s trans.

And I wanted to punch her.

OF FUCKING COURSE HES A GUY. He literally put more effort into being a guy than any other guy you’ve ever met. All other guys are born having to be guys. He had to put the effort in to be called a guy. He’s more guy than any other guy.  

But I didn’t punch her or correct her because knowing my guy friend, I knew he wouldn’t want to bring it up. He sort of looked at me, and me at him, and then there was an awkward silence before we went back to normal.

So we walk home and drop him off at his place and I give him a look, roughly translates to “is it cool if I bring up earlier to her and tell her she made u uncomfty.” and he gives me a look that’s sort of like “u know I hate talking abt this stuff but I don’t want that to happen again so sure, thanks”.

So we’re walking, its just us two now, and as we go I say, “Hey mind if we talk abt something u said today, I don’t think you meant it this way but I think it upset *my guy friend”

And she says sure and looks kinda confused. So I bring up the whole, you’re not a real guy, thing. And she says she didn’t mean it that way. 

So I say, “You know I think you’re really lovely, and it was an accident and all, just for future reference, saying he’s not a real guy, it can cause dysphoria. So he feels like you’re rejecting him being trans and being a guy.”

And she’s goes “But he’s not a guy. He was a girl first so he gets it.” And I go “But he’s always felt like a guy and now he’s presenting as a guy and using male pronouns, so you saying he’s not a real guy is upsetting for him”.

And she goes “But he’s like us so he’s not a real guy.”

So I go “What? He doesn’t have a dick, is that it?” (i’m getting a lil defensive at this point, i’ve known my guy friend for YEARS and she’s a newer friend of like this year- and before this point very lovely, so i’m like confused and annoyed) then i say “Or is it that he’s nice. Did you mean he’s nice, like *our other guy friend who btw isn’t trans*. Not the type to catcall ppl?”

And she goes “Yeah. That. But like, if you think of a guy, you think the sort of body type right? He has our body or whatever. I’m not saying he’s not a guy. Just not a full guy.”

So I go, “No. No he is a ‘full’ guy. He’s as much guy as any other guy. And if you say he’s not- look my point is that saying that sort of thing really upsets him so please don’t in the future.”

And SHE GOES “Well if he has a problem he can tell me himself”. 

GIRL WHAT THE FUCK? Okay look, I love my friends. And i’m not often the type to choose sides because a lot of arguments at 18 are petty ones. But I won’t be friends with this girl if I know she’s going to be transphobic and make one of my closest friends uncomfortable. Even if she doesn’t realise she’s being a transphobe.

So I say “please look this up so you understand why it would upset him. He doesn’t like to talk abt this stuff, but it bothers him”.

And she goes “how do you know it bothers him if he doesn’t talk abt it.”

And yes this could be genuine, if she finds it tough to read emotions on ppls faces, so I tried to be fair in answering.

I go, “Well, he seemed upset when you said it. And that sort of comment has been said to him before, and in private he’s mentioned that he doesn’t like it.”

We’ve had long talks abt the way it bothers him. But she doesn’t need to know that. He hates talking to ppl he’s not really close to abt this stuff since they can swerve any second (like this girl now).

So she goes “If he can tell u, why can’t he tell me?” And I go “He’s just more comfortable around me since we’ve known each other so long.”

(i would like to add in here, we are very good friends but also not the type to leave ppl out. She didn’t have a “reason” for her comment or a reason to be mad. We were all chatting all day. Never left her out. Just because we’ve known her less long, it didn’t bother me or him. There was no duo in a trio thing all day- I only brought up our closer relationship now since it seemed like a good way to explain it to her) 

And she goes “Oh my god so you knew him before he transitioned then? What’s his deadname?”

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK! 

I go silent. Then I say “I’ve known him a long time.” And then I go silent again and she doesn’t say anything and we walk the remaining like two- three minutes to her place. My house is like five minutes from there, it’s the exact way so it’s not like I could’ve gone a dif route. 

So yeah. That happened. 

So I text my guy friend once i’m home and give him the debrief.

He ends up deciding he doesn’t want to make this a thing. She’s friends with our bigger group- which is like 9-10 ppl- so he doesnt want to cause anything, even tho they’d all happily explain why she’s being a transphobe. He said he didn’t want her to feel ganged up on.

HES TOO NICE. WHAT THE HELL.

So I text him; “if she says anything else transphobic i’ll do my best to explain it to her and have her stop but if it becomes more than one more comment I think we should consider her friendship cause I know you’ll be uncomfortable and I don’t want to be friends with a transphobe.”

So yeah. Look I get that partly it’s not fair. She wasn’t raised somewhere where they’d teach her this stuff. She doesn’t understand that she’s being transphobic. But also, she should look this stuff up and listen when I tell her, instead of disregarding me when i’m tryna help. 

But I also really want to get through to her. But most importantly I want my guy friend to be comfortable around his friends. But he’s way to nice to bring up what she said to everyone else (they would not approve either). 

Hi!

Oh, wow.

Okay, first, I want to commend you for approaching this where you're trying not to make your guy friend uncomfortable while still being an ally. Genuinely, it sounds like you're a fantastic friend, and you're trying hard to listen to his needs.

This is so hard, because at first, I was like- oh! The other friend is just ignorant. A lot of people who make comments like that are ignorant, and like...even as a trans person, I can see the twisted way of thinking that ted to those comments.

But then, after being gently and kindly corrected, the friend doubled down, and THAT is the problem.

People are allowed to make mistakes, especially when they may have been raised with a set of views. But to double down like that is where I take issue, and I think you're right to take issue as well.

HOWEVER:

This is first and foremost, your guy friend's battle. If he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it, you need to respect his wishes. You're absolutely correct (and very smart by realizing) that these comments can cause dysphoria, which is awful. But it could be that your guy friend wants to cope with that by not acknowledging it. And that's valid.

So I think the right thing to do is to not bring this specific issue up unless he asks. But if your other friend says generally transphobic things, I think it's okay to correct them if you feel comfortable. So like, if your other friend says "'Guy friend' is emotional like a girl." then I would wait for your guy friend's permission to say something. But if she says like.. "Trans people should have to go to the bathroom of their gender assigned at birth," then you can speak up. You can also choose on your own to take space from this other friend.

You can also be there for your guy friend by reminding him that you know those comments are not okay, and you support him however he needs.

I know it's a lot to think about, but I really think you're doing a great job. Write back with updates! I'm naming you commendable anon in case you do!

[codename-adler]

i would Love to hear abt ur kathea wip :-) -dayurno

thank you @dayurno it’s an honor and thank you @fandomnerd101 i hope this provides what you also asked for <3

Adler’s WiPs ~ Project: Kathea 🌺

Kathea Lore 2:

Their 2nd “meeting” (1st being in therapy and vvv ugly) is when Kate and Aaron mutually break up after her return from the psych ward and his return from Thanksgiving (see dtyfstf); although the fic wouldn’t start there, that is the moment that created this spin-off ship/fic/project/AU.

Having heard how much shit the Foxes are going through, Thea flies in to check in on Kevin who has ghosted her (thus breaking her promise again of no-contact but way, way worse).

In a scene reminiscent of Andreil’s first meeting, Kate and Thea literally run into each other when Kate exits Aaron’s dorm so fast she slams door 317 into Thea and falls into her.

Because Kate is crying so hard and because Thea does not want their therapy group to get on her back any more than they already are, Thea puts her Kevin mission on hold and takes Kate back with her (idk where yet… hotel room? Bar? Diner? Cab?) to “support” her therapy mate.

Thea is the more surprised of the two at her decision to take Kate under her wing (u know like a raven).

Kate starts to believe Thea is not as bad/mean as she projects in group therapy.

Thea doesn’t understand why she went out of her way like that, why she acted so out of character, so she proceeds to /gently/ but firmly kick Kate out, call her an Uber, and the next time they see each other, weeks later, in group, Thea is cold and distant.

That's the main scene to be written at the moment, the thing that’ll start me up and show me the golden path of Kathea.

Miscellaneous thoughts:

To me they're like if a nymph (Katelyn) and a goddess (Thea) fell in love.

While it causes no real impact on Kate’s career (cheer + med) to be queer, Thea’s pro Exy career is highly at risk, what with already being an ex-Raven and a Black woman in a mixed sport; it’s important to me that we’re all aware of that; and thus despite both women being each other’s first sapphic/queer relationship, they have widely different backgrounds and stakes at play in committing (or not) to this new love.

Katelyn doesn’t want to see Thea as a threat, for herself, Aaron and the Vixens/Foxes, but sometimes the way Thea handles her past and present is scary, and Kate doesn’t know if Thea is trustworthy with everything (and Riko) going on; those who have read ‘dance ‘til you find someone to die for’ know why trust and betrayal are big issues in the Katheaverse.

However, Thea doesn’t know anything about the vastness of Riko's evils; her main tormentor has always been Tetsuji Moriyama. 

Riko acted the way all male Ravens (except Jean and Kevin) have always treated her: with misogyny and bigotry. Riko wasn’t special, not with her, not to her; but she doesn’t realize yet the Ravens were a cult, that it wasn’t normal, that she has repressed some things and that what is hurting her inside is also hurting others, whether fellow ex-Ravens like Jean and Kevin, or outsiders like Kate and Aaron who become collateral damage wave after wave Riko creates.

Of course I’m playing with the age gap between Thea (26-28) and Kate (20-22) because I think it’s very sexy and I’m self-projecting what I wish would happen to me love-wise 💅 I also previously thought about bringing up Thea’s trauma with younger partners (i.e., the whole Kevin grooming shitshow that was made-up by a-hole fans) to lay the issue to rest once and for all, but since some of y’all provoked Nora Sakavic into defending Queen Theodora Muldani and blasting y’all to dust, I don’t think I will! But who knows. It was important to me at one point, I’m just saying. More crumbs for you, eh.

Katelyn Young (Mackenzie) Lore:

Full name: Katelyn Beth Mackenzie Young

Height: 5’4”-5’5” to Thea’s 6’0” 😌

Career aspiration: Neonatology (Addison Montgomery did a lot for her)(and not just career wise *wink wink*)(she hasn’t realized that yet)(Thea is a lot like Addison u know *wink wink*)

Relationship history: before Aaron came along, her first real love, she had 2 boyfriends. Number 1 dared slap her twice before she ended things; Number 2 cheated on her with 4 different girls while they dated. Aaron was the first to treat her well, to heal a bit of her trust issues, to be completely devoted to her. They’re very important to me. I love my boyo Aaron and he deserves recognition for the love he gave Katelyn and fought for.

Kate is an only child from a very strict family; the parent she is closest to is her step-mother.

And that's what i got for now. A lot and nothing. But thank you again for enabling me. I love my girls. Again, if any of yous would like to request more of Kathea or more of a particular project, head over to my pinned post to see the list of 'Adler's Projects in Progress (PiPs)' and ask away!

[monsterfloofs]

Hello, if you are taking requests, could you do one with a holiday gift exchange with Teddy (Thaddeus) and reader, please? Thank you! Happy Holiday and New Year to you, may all your days be gentle and bright!

Thaddeus (Male Vampire) x Anonymous Reader (Sfw)

A Holiday Edition:

(Hello there! Sorry it took me so long to get back to your request! I took a holiday break from writing to do some personal art things and spend time with the family. So this is a belated response, I also had to do some background lore/world work to figure out the best way to write this! —And uh, er, this got WAY too long!!! But uhhhhh also, Teddy is a favorite and I would live in Wroughtworth if I only could. So he gets paragraphs of story because he is a precious plum. Q-QQ ) Unedited for the most part, so there are probably mistakes abound! Sowwy in advance. u n u;; ) I also hope you had a lovely holiday and new years too! )

The dark streets and looming buildings were covered in thick blankets of snow, turning the usually dark and dreary structures into a cozy and picturesque winter holiday. It was almost like stepping into a black and white photograph in the day time, and at night the snow reflected a blue midnight color that pooled into the streets and plazas.

More snow was coming, you had heard, peering out the window to watch big fluffy flakes stick to high gothic windows. You pulled a knit blanket closer to you, staring outside into the sapphire twilight.

“Tell me about this. . . gift exchange again dear?”

“It’s something we do back home,” You admitted, careful to keep out the ties of religious holidays. After all. . . you thought it wouldn’t exactly be the best of ideas to bring them up, while religions in the past had called vampires, demons and evil spirits. Finding and devising ways to harm and deter them.

“Hm. . . I suppose that would give us something to do while we are trapped inside from all this snow.” Teddy makes a face, scrunching his nose as his eyebrows knit together. “But you did say it was an exchange, that also means that I must find you a gift as well.”

Your reflection gives an awkward smile, well. . . he didn’t really have to. But you knew Teddy, he would have insisted that he have to give you something in return if you had surprised him with a present. You look back at him, his fingers steepled together in thought as the candle lit made his eyes dance and glitter.

What was that look for?

“What are you planning?” You asked suspiciously, he holds his hands up and grins. “Moi? Why— nothing, nothing!” You squint at him before slowly sinking back down to sit properly on the couch.

You didn’t believe that for a second.

“And when did you want to have this little festivity hm?”

He sounded eager, which had you taken aback. “Oh. . . whenever I suppose you want to. . .”

“Splendid,” He responds with a sudden cheerfulness, starting to rise from his seat. “Then I shall see you again within an hour or so!”

“Ah—“ You began as you watched him grab his hat, scarf, and coat.

“Teddy— th- the storm? There’s a winter storm outside—“

Thaddeus pauses on the threshold from the living room to the stairs and the doors leading outside. He grins playfully.

“Oh, sweetheart. Don’t you worry about me, I have weathered worse blizzards than this on my adventures.”

Your lips purse, “Alright. . .” taking a pause before murmuring slowly, “Please be safe,”

He tips his hat before he disappears around the corner, the door opening and closing with a heavy thud.

You sink deeper into the pillows and blankets. Well! Now you have about an hour or so to worry about what your companion was up to! You sigh and swing your legs off of the couch, your socks shuffling across the candle lit room to grab a lantern.

“Come on Pip,” A rustling sound comes from another blanket pile as a little skeletal beak pokes out from its cocoon.

“You want to come wrap Teddy’s present with me?” A couple clicks from the beak in response before a shadow streams from the blanket and darts onto the floor. Pip appears on your shoulder, shaking their head back and forth as they snuggle into your neck. Brrrrrrrrr!

“It is chilly out here,” You agree as you step out into the hallway and start to climb the stairs. “We won’t be up here too long, I promise.”

The long climb to the top has you huffing softly, it was cold up in your studio, but it would have been colder still if the large black bricked buildings weren’t designed so intricately. You stop to catch your breath at the top, before entering the small room crammed with tools and art supplies.

Raising your lantern to give one final look over the painting on the easel. All those sketches of Teddy you made in your journal had paid off in the end. The portrait you had been working so hard to make over winter was finished. As finished as you had anticipated it being, a part of you felt that you could have done hours of work more if you really wanted to. This was to be your biggest gift although you had a few others that you had bought prior. You had hid the other presents just enough out of sight, but in places you knew where to look. Digging around in a drawer to pull out a couple of carefully wrapped parcels. A few of the books he loves so dearly, you had found and bought on the spot. . . And had gotten a number of strange looks as you handed over your coin. You stacked them in your arms before carefully picking up the painting.

You had. . . one other gift as well, though, this one wasn’t tangible like paintings or books. It was a confession, a true confession of love, the one you hadn’t been able to verbally express as your tongue had curled in knots. A part of you wondered if he already knew.

After he had seen the pictures you had drawn, there was a slight change to the air about him. He talked to you the same, but there was something funny, a little crease to the corners of his eyes. The way his hands would linger with yours for just a moment longer. Silent spaces with unsaid words. Or perhaps you had only begun to take more interest in the little things he did, now that you had been so close to letting your heart bleed onto your sleeve.

You tiptoed carefully back down the stairs, balancing books and painting as you walked. Pip peeped in your ear and you peek over the railing. “He said an hour Pip, surely he can’t be back already. Can you watch the door for me?”

With a snap of their beak Pip became a little blotchy shadow that fell upon the stair, darting down, down, down back to the doorway. It took you much longer to arrive at the bottom, and you cooed praises at the little robed bird sitting patiently in front of the door. Watching it with fierce determination.

You were able to wrap up your painting in a brown paper that crinkled invitingly under your fingers. You knelt on the floor, hunched over it as you folded the long leafy sides of paper over top of your handiwork and wrapped it with twine. You sat back with a triumphant huff, letting yourself rest for a spell before you reach for the large parcel and prop it against the coffee table.

And now you wait. . . Pip had rejoined you on the couch when you called to them, a little liquid shadow that shot up the side of the bed and back into the nest of blankets. You laughed at the little shadowy feet that kicked and flailed before disappearing.

By the time Thaddeus had returned you had stoked a fire in the hearth, sitting on top of the warming stone fireplace and listening to the pops of smoldering wood. The door opening had caused you to turn your head, dusting your hands off and hurrying to the entrance.

“Teddy— Oh!”

Thaddeus looked like he had only just escaped from being buried in a snow drift, his dark clothes lined with snow. You reach up to attempt to help him brush off his shoulders.

“A frigid night!” He beamed cheerfully, “How lucky I am to not feel the cold!”

“If you were out there any longer I think you would have resembled a snowman,” You teased, flecks of snow melting against your fingers and chilling them.

“Wouldn’t that be a marvelous idea? A snowman in front of my house. How about you and I go out tomorrow and make one?”

“People would have a fit!” You gawked and Thaddeus grinned, “They would, wouldn’t they? I bet Fairaway’s hair would turn white.” He chuckles at the mention of the head guard of the city and you looked slightly uneasy. “You probably shouldn’t provoke him. . .”

Thaddeus huffs, “Provoke. . . ? My dear that creature has an ill temper to begin with. I think the people around here are so old they’ve forgotten what fun is!”

You smile, taking his frigid hands into yours, leading him into the warm living room as he continues to complain.

“No more playing about snow for tonight at least,” Thaddeus amended as he sat back into his favorite chair by the fire. “I won’t make any promises about tomorrow however.” He winks at you and you laugh softly. “I don’t think I could stop you if I tried.”

Thaddeus raises inquisitive eyebrows, “Oh, I am sure you would be able to sway me into behaving,”

You blink at the comment, “Maybe what I have for you might sway you then!” Thaddeus chuckles, before peering over at the large package by the coffee table. “M-my goodness, what pray tell is that??”

You hand him the smaller packages, “Open these ones first! Save the big one for last!” Thaddeus blinks before giving you a dubious look. “I thought we were only exchanging one gift.”

You shrug with a smile, “I go overboard with gift giving, it’s a bad habit of mine.”

Thaddeus hums mischievously, reaching into his breast pocket. “You and I had the same mind I see. Though mine are a lot smaller presents I’m afraid.” He produces a few small wrapped pieces, pressing them into your palm.

You look at the tiny wrapped treasures and swallow. “. . . You go first.”

Thaddeus wears a bemused smile as he turns the parcels over in his hands. “Well. . . by first inspection they feel like books—“

“Open them!” You chirrup with a laugh, “You won’t find out unless you open them!”

Thaddeus pulls a cheeky grin, as he gently shakes them beside one of his tapered ears. Then laughs as he watches you pull a face.

“Alright, I’ve had my fun!” He giggles faintly, before beginning to open the paper. His eyes widening as he quirks a lopsided smile. “Ah! Did you really?”

He continues to pull back the binding pressing a hand to his mouth, “And these were the ones I was missing too! Ah! How thoughtful of you!” He thumbs over the binding and gives you a grin. “You didn’t read them, perchance?”

You shake your head and wave your arms. “Nuh uh!! I got them used! I definitely was not reading your pervy books!” Thaddeus gives a goofy smile, and you sweat, your voice raising. “I did NOT!” you intone, and he cackles.

“I got weird looks from just buying them!! I was too scared to look!”

“They’re really not that bad,” Thaddeus chuckles, “I am sure the couples around here get into much worse than the occupants of these books.” You shout another complaint making Thaddeus laugh again.

You pout and thumb at your own small parcels, trying to hide the contagious smile that was spreading across your face.

“Go on,” Thaddeus prompts, resting his hand upon his cheek and watching you expectantly. “I was. . . debating on buying these for you. . . for a while now. I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate, so I held off on them.”

“That makes me nervous,” You laugh, your fingers fiddling with the tissue paper bundles.

“Now I see why you were so impatient,” Thaddeus huffs, “The suspense is killing me!”

You stick out your tongue playfully before you push yourself to unwrap the paper. Two tiny metal work bats, with delicate and ornate detailing but sat heavy in your palm.

A wisp of a smile tugs at Teddy’s lips. “One is a brooch, and it is inscribed with my house seal. Pin that on your coat, so that no matter where you go darling, everyone will know that your home is here. And, it’s a reminder for you as well, whenever you may feel lost or unwelcome. You are always welcome here.”

Your mouth dries, turning over the brooch to look at it, taking in the details of the tiny glittering jeweled eyes, and the loop of beads that dangled from its wings.

“I-I. . . I don’t know what to say. . . th-thank you Thaddeus.”

Thaddeus flashes a quick smile, before clearing his throat, “The necklace doesn’t have as deep a meaning as the brooch. I had thought that perhaps, it would look handsome on you. You do enjoy your bat motifs, if I recall, and the city is full of that.” He laughs nervously, his unhindered hand flexing against the arm of the couch.

You felt your heartbeat a thick tattoo into your throat. “C-can you help me put it on?”

It takes Teddy a moment to stirr, his eyes darting away for a moment before he gets to his feet. “Why. . . of course darling.”

You stand with your back to him, as cold hands gently reach around your neck. His fingers fiddling with the clasp. He steps back with a little hurriedness in his stride, but beams as you turn around. “Ah yes, as expected, it suits you very well.”

You smile and shuffle your feet. “Thank you Teddy, these are beautiful. . .” You reach for the last gift, lifting it up and handing it to him.

“You’ve out done me,” He teases, “I shall have to go out into the snow and find you another gift!” You smile and shake your head, “Oh no. . . I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, so this is technically a thank you gift for letting me haunt your home.

Thaddeus scoffs as he begins to open the package. “As I have said dear I don’t mind—“ He stops mid-sentence, staring down at the painting. “I. . . O-oh my.”

You smile, shoulders shrugging up as you meekly back away towards the hearth. “It’s something I have been working on for weeks. All those sketches you saw, I was afraid it was going to ruin the surprise.” He sits down heavily, eyes still drawn to the portrait. “I think. . .” He mused faintly, “You’ve made me too handsome.”

You twitter with awkward laughter, “O-oh no! Not at all! That’s exactly how I see you.” You bit your lip, staring at your socks and curling your toes. “It’s the best painting I have ever done, actually. B-because. . . I have a lot of love and tenderness for you. You are. . . more than just a dear friend to me. M-much, much, more. Just being around you. . . makes me feel like. . .” You trail off, shaking your head and laughing. “I don’t know. . . you make me feel like, the best way I can put it is, a somebody. Somebody capable of doing things, and being things, when normally I just feel lost. A-and. . . I. . .” Your eyelids flutter closed, fist closing around the little bat that sat against your collar. “I love you.” You take a deep breath, “I love you, a lot. Your friendship is so very dear to me, and I don’t want to ruin what is between us. Honestly, I am scared that I am ruining what is between us at this very moment.”

Another breath.

“But I wanted you to know. . . just how happy you make me feel. When you’re around. Your wit and your charm, your sense of humor and your smile.”

You tense as you feel a chilly thumb press against your lips. With your eyes closed you hadn’t heard him move, too caught up in trying to keep up with the words that were flowing from your mouth.

“There are lots of things that I adore about you too.” Thaddeus muses, you twitch in surprise at just how close his voice sounded in your proximity. “Your joy, your mind,” Thaddeus’ voice laughs softly, “You make me laugh, more than I think I have around anyone else. You’re like seeing the sun again, when you smile. You’re sunshine in a bottle my dear, you brighten every crevice of this house with your presence.” You tremble as he cups your cheek.

“. . . I would. . . very much like to kiss you, if you would allow me the pleasure.”

[aroacesigma]

By all means ignore this if you'd rather not talk ab the show, but what exactly makes the loki series bad? Genq bc I'm kinda on the fence about it

dont worry i am ALWAYS happy to talk about why the show sucks . sorry this will be very long

basically it boils down to two things: straight up transphobia towards gfluid people , and character assasination . andddd the rest under the cut cause i tend to ramble ab this .

so, for a while now its been canon in marvel comics that loki is genderfluid. fans obviously were calling for this to be acknowledged for a while, actor seemed on board (still seemed on board . gonna be real w u hes the only member i dont blame he didnt seem particularly pleased about a lot of choices), blah blah . so obviously the producer gets asked and the dick michael waldron says yep ! yessir we have rep .

the rep in question was splitting the character into a male and female version, giving no indication towards any genderfluidity whatsoever (having all the 'male' variants be shocked that theres a female one like wtf), and then pulling some good old selfcest between the two at the end to really seal the deal . the bi representation that was also promised was a one off easily missable line but thats a whole other can of worms . it got worse after the show, whenever prompted about it people involved would say very weird shit. kate herron tried to pull the cis queer card a few times if im recalling correctly. dont even get me started on sophia di martino .

second problem, characterisation. at that point in the timeline we have loki straight out of avengers . which means you either have evil and a bit crazy loki or you have an opportunity to confirm the popular fan theory of mind control . neither happened , instead i think they were trying to speedrun his ragnarok/infinity war character development, fucked it up spectacularly and rather than making him a more morally grey but still a little bit yknow, loki, made him like...really wimpy for some reason? a lot of his actions were extremely out of character . theres a lot of focus on him being full of himself (hence the selfcest), which is kinda fundementally misunderstanding him as a character . the self obsession is a front which is obvious to anyone who watched even half of thor 1 . yknow, the very first movie hes in . side note michael waldron said he didnt watch thor 1 ? i cant tell if he was joking or not but on god it did not seem like he was from the show.

also more related to comics synergy, just sylvie as a character . they mashed up loki while fem presenting (why.), amora, and sylvie lushton when they couldve just had amora for a romance plot ??? sylvie lushton also fucking sucked like the comics community generally has a low opinion of her . her ass is homophobic and annoying and an amora knockoff . you could really see the inspiration shine through .

honestly the agent of asgard run is a very good example of how the variant concept can be handled well, and without blatant transphobia . honestly they shouldve gotten al ewing to write the whole thing hes the only person i trust to write loki .

so yeah sorry for the very long paragraph 😭😭😭 this show just drives me up the wall SO BAD

[my-mt-heart]

Ok im gonna try to bring a bit of positivity here even if it might not seem like it at first lol. U might have seen (but i think u avoid twitter right?) Carol being attacked these last few hours/days regarding Sophia/Ed. How she supposedly let Sophia being sexually abused by Ed without doing nothing. How she screamed to Shane "stop!" and cried when he beat up Ed. Meaning she was weak and ridiculous, again.

First of all i think (correct me if im wrong) that its considered canon that Ed didnt abuse (sexually, that is) Sophia... yet, because he died, but he would have had tried to had he lived because he saw her "growing up" and was a sick psycho. And Carol acted on it by having Sophia taken physically far away from her father if i recall well (dont have the exact scene in mind hence why im vague).

Second of all, this is bullshit obviously. Those people have never been abused and it shows. How its hard to leave, because you still love him and actually believe him when he says he wont hurt u again. Because he's a "great father" and "only" hit you and not ur children (its stastically rare i think but it does happen). I've worked with a lot of women beaten up by their husbands (and believe it or not, a few man with their wives too. Even husbands with husbands or wives with wives. Again, more rare but still here) and all combinations exist: women dont give a shit anymore, wont forgive, and only wants to leave and/or ptotect their children, woman who cant leave because they still see the "amazing" man he was for the first 10 years, or the first 3 years. Or says things like "he was beaten up when he was a child by his dad so its not his fault. "

ALL combinations exist, no one knows what its like to be in the head or the heart of a beaten 's wife/person, and no one should judge someone's way of coping with it, dealing with it, reacting to it. It is NEVER the victims fault, even if in the case of a beaten's wife, she stays with the husband.

Sorry, so, this disgression to say that Carol was insulted yesterday and so on for staying with Ed and not protecting Sophia.

The goods news (and here comes the positive part lol) is that for once, everyone was coming at these assholes (who, yes, happened to be Richonners, but NO, not all Richonners are this way, absolutely NOT).

And when i mean everyone, i mean even those who usually dont say shit when Carol (and therefore Melissa) is called ugly and/or too old for Daryl. Even those who dont ship caryl and/ or dont particularly like Carol are saying "ohh hell noo, too far, u re not victim blaming Carol here, absolutely not". Even the "kind of official fan accounts" followed by stars of the show.

So, while i wish she was defended more often already for the ageist and sexist part of the attacks she suffers, its still comforting to see that this time, everybody or almost see how too far they have gone and reacted accordingly.

Sorry if im clumsy in my way of writing or presenting things, english is not my native language, hope i did ok.

First of all, thank you for all you've done for survivors of domestic abuse and for sharing your insight. I heard about the incident through the grapevine and it was nice to go back and see all the support Carol was getting from all sides :)

Even though we have to be responsible for what we say on SM, I don't think it should just be left up to the fans to create a safer environment for them (and even cast and crew) to interact with each other. We should also put pressure on AMC to stop fueling the sexism, ageism, racism, etc. seen not just in one particular subset of the fanbase, but across the board. For example, how about making Carol the same size as Daryl in the key art so people can literally see her as a lead character? How about abandoning the ambiguous language around Caryl's relationship so people can understand that, yes, a middle-aged woman with gray hair can be the middle-aged male lead's love interest and vice versa? How about hiring someone who actually supports their characters and their relationship to run the official SM accounts? That's the kind of change I'd love to see.

[matoitech]

actually im just gonna list some shit out right now that i cant get out of my brain. its not one of those things i think ppl should necessarily check out for themselves to see what i mean, cuz its not like FUN bizarre or bad choices. some things r understandable for being like an indie furry novel but some things r just so atrocious or nonsensical you dont get a pass

theres a lot like just vaguely weird bullshit that the author brings up in the text like 'yeah i know it sounds weird but just dont worry about it!' (ex: the bio soldiers arent really siblings, but theyre kiiiinda siblings, or at least SOME of them view each other that way, but the ones that need to not view each other that way for the romances in the plot dont???) and youre just like, well, this was Written by someone, you CHOSE to write it that way when you did not need to, so am i supposed to just assume you wrote it that way for a reason? or did you just genuinely not think that far ahead? theyre grown in a vat, you didnt have to do this

so many things in this that did not have to be there at all and at the timeid think 'maybe this is there for a reason and is going to be explored later, maybe its there on purpose to be weird and Say Something about the character doing it or whatever' but it was not. some examples off the top of my head that i wont get into further bcuz this post is long enough as is: bryce and the creepy guard on the space prison (homophobic stereotypes that make me wonder what the hell is going on w the i ASSUME gay dude writing this), shep telling kesondra who was a teenager at the time she was 'mature for her age' w writing that makes me wonder how the hell that was meant to read (HOW DID ALARM BELLS NOT GO OFF? ARE WE SUPPOSED TO /LIKE/ SHEP?), bryce not recogizning holly now as an adult woman as the kid he saved once and other characters making jokes abt him flirting w her (THE CHARACTERS DONT KNOW, BUT THE READER KNOWS. HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO COME OFF?) why r u making these stupid in universe explanations for what feels like either a poor attempt at 'oh gross, thats weird in context!' 'jokes' later, or you just wanting an excuse to be weird or something?

two of its most massive glaring issues were present with like, the first chapter, when i realized this adult novel said a made up work for 'fuck' in the furry dog universe, and they say the made up word for fuck a LOT, and women are written so bad i thought i stepped backwards into the 1950s. the way women r written is way worse than them not saying the word fuck but it stands out so much i couldnt not mention it

i rly cannot stress the bizarre way the like 4 women in this book r treated enough. their interactions with other women and internal monologues have that pretty typical 'guy who has never rly given much thought to women as People thinks women feel about themselves and each other and their bodies etc' thing. i mean im saying this as a guy but its very blatant and basic misogyny its not hard to notice when ur also a man and point out. theyre referred to as 'dogesses' instead of dogs (dog is only reserved for the men, i guess) so u know right out the gate what brand of misogyny is going down. i dont think any of them have been described as wearing pants the entire book (apparently all women in this wear dresses). the male characters will randomly call them shit like either 'sweetheart' or 'bitch' apparently and it doesnt feel like youre supposed to think the guys r weird or creepy or shitty for this??? maybe shitty for the bitch thing but sweetheart honey darlin gets by totally fine? theyre not getting decked for that?

THE POTENTIAL RAINE HAS AS A CHARACTER THAT ISNT EXPLORED AT ALL MAKES ME WANT TO PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A WALL. I COULD WRITE A WHOLE OTHER ESSAY. i will say this tho, if i was writing this she would be trans

im like 400-500 (i dunno i havent checked) pages into the book and i cant really figure out a read on most of the politics in something that i was under the impression would be kinda political drama-y. theres like, a startling lack of politics in a book that DESPERATELY needs politics. i dont think the author has really wanted to worldbuild that far so you just get implications that there are politics going on, or the characters tell you that directly, or plot points happen that MUST be politically driven, but god forbid you find out why, i guess. maybe at the end.

indie furry novels need editors really really bad. it does that thing stuff thats really long that doesnt need to be that long does where it wanders around for 100 pages and then suddenly some shit is introduced and you can FEEL the author remembering the plot or realizing that he forgot to explain something 300 pages ago. some of the characters suddenly all start talking abt their sexualities like midway thru it bcuz the author forgot to mention it before, i guess? its kind of hard to tell when someone is actually gay or bisexual or when the other characters are just being homophobic for some reason. there r bases for good characters and story and worldbuilding but it doesnt reaaaally want to get into it enough for ALL its words and pages to make all that meandering feel worth it

i understand that so much of this is apparently just like middle aged british (??) cisgender (i assume, i would be in MISERY if this guy wasnt cis and writing like this) gay man male power fantasy and the extremely buff dudes he finds attractive but there is so much like lack of introspection the author has done and too much 'i did this cuz i thought it was hot and not bcuz it made ANY sense at all' like i am NOT against stuff existing in media bcuz the author thinks it'd be fun or sexy (when its done like, without being bigoted or smth, obviously) but when characters that r meant to be very smart do not think through like very basic things most ppl would think about (sasuke doesnt want to fuck w the x dogs programming too much and possibly ruin them, but he doesnt think anyones going to notice him bringing the same dogs back to life over and over, being the same age, and those dogs being MASSIVELY FUCKING HUGE AND RIPPED SUPER SOLDIERS? nostalgia can only explain away leaving them basically untouched and sasuke not caring if anyone noticed so much. i know theyre mostly penned but you'd think they'd take more precautions. they really dont give a fuck tho for some reason) and the book doesnt really want to ask those questions i just think like why didnt u get this edited??

the amount of ableism in this makes me feel like this man has literally never spoken to or seen a disabled person around him at all ever in his life. but theres just an undercurrent of general 'intersectionality isnt a word in my vocabulary' so thats kind of a given

the x dogs r also 'out of the box' as adults but the way theyre written w age and development and stuff is very weird i really could write a whole other thing about this

the fade to black sex scenes r so embarrassing for something that screams written for adult men. you cant even say fuck

theres like a moment when toby, a gay male character whose clothing style seems to be vaguely androgynous says smth like 'im not THAT far gone' as a joke about wearing heels or something. i hated it. that sentence encapsulated most of my biggest problems w this book bcuz it really just feels like this author has never bothered to talk to literally anyone with an even remotely different life experience than him. its also giving internalized homophobia like half the time. its so confusing i cant even tell if this was meant to be transphobic, bcuz again youre meant to LIKE these people

there r literally so many interesting things you could say about characters that are LIVING WEAPONS and how they feel about this, the dehumanization theyve experienced at the hands of the state or scientists creating and using them for war etc, but for some reason it doesnt really want to 'say' much of anything, at least so far?? its BOGGLING. there r probably way more things i could expand on or talk about (i could talk about specific characters even) but i need to cut myself off. i feel like i have more thoughts about what any of this Means than the guy writing it had writing like almost a thousand pages or whatever of Words

so i have been reading dogs of mars for like a full year bcuz its a Lot to get thru not even in length (tho yes its long) but in that a lot of the time its taken me so long bcuz ive had to put it down and just sit there thinking 'what was this guy thinking? what is going on?' ive been finishing it at all mostly bcuz i think i need to write a collection of my thoughts once im done. which mostly means my criticisms. because wow i have a lot of thoughts.

[yanderechuu]

do any of the teachers ever notice the things happening to y/n? (i headcannon Mic and Midnight as yanderes that would give advice to 1A lol)

yandere!Class 1A x fem!reader

[2.1K]

Summary: Aizawa is the first one you approached in regards to your certain predicament.

Warning: nonconsensual recording

│

Aizawa suspected something wasn’t quite right by the moment he saw you entering the class a minute before the bell rang, all haggard and teary-eyed, though you tried your best to obscure your disposition. He always knew you to often be in a state of discomfort whenever you were compelled to socialize, especially with your classmates, but now - you looked as if you reached your limit of holding the weight of the world on your shoulders, crashing down all at once as depicted on your crestfallen expression. 

And when you showed up in front of the faculty room, timidly soliciting his presence, his suspicions were only further verified. Even with a pending question regarding subject matters in your mind, you weren’t one to approach a teacher to inquire about it, and if you did it was because the teacher was the one who would ask your attendance; never the other way around.

Present Mic was the first one to acknowledge you. He stood up from his office chair, waving at you comically. “Yo, (l/n)! Having trouble with English again?”

You never had a problem with his subject; he only insisted that you’d come to him in regards to that. “N-no, not really. May I speak to Aizawa-sensei?”

“Talk with me instead!” He enthusiastically spoke and headed over to you. “Come on, what’s the matter?”

“It isn’t your place to ask that when I’m here.” Aizawa interceded, clearly unimpressed by Mic’s antics. He failed to see the latter’s displeased countenance. “(L/n), what is it?”

You avoided eye contact with him, averting your view to the ground - that was alright. You were always like this, and he didn’t mind. Nothing out of place except for the fact that it looked as if you were about to cry any moment now.

“Can we- can we, um, talk somewhere more private?” You asked quietly.

His brows raised in wonder at your request. Nevertheless, he didn’t decline you, only nodding lackadaisically before heading towards the teacher’s lounge, where you followed him suit. He flicked the door tag to ‘occupied’ and entered the room after you, when he told you sit on the three-person sofa situated not quite on the farthest left of the space. Then, he settled himself on the chair across you.

“Well?” He asked, expectantly.

But you had once again your head above a thick cloud of anxiety. You knew that after the event with Momo in the girls’ locker room - where you had injured her against your will because she had been violating your personal space - your homeroom teacher kept a cautious eye on you in case you’d re-enact that incident. And it wasn’t just that incident that made him look at you like you were a criminal on the loose, either. Your classmates found and did a lot of ways to place you in Aizawa’s naughty list just so you wouldn’t snitch on their abusive (they’d call it affectionate) behavior on you.

That didn’t erase the fact that you were nevertheless his student; he cared for you no less than he cared for his other pupils, yet you were just too ignorant in figuring that out. All that mattered to you was that you’d voice out your current concern to him, but with your insecurities holding you down it seemed it would be more difficult than you had primarily foreseen it to be.

“I-I,” you stammered out, fiddling with something inside your pocket, “u-um, you see, t-there’s this, I mean, I can’t-”

He grew increasingly frustrated with your constant stuttering, and although he did understand your shy nature which largely affected your conversational habits, he only had so much patience to deal with it.

“I don’t have all day.” He stated, glowering at your form in mild irritation. “If you’re going to keep doing that, talk to the wall.”

You abruptly halted in speaking after that, only looking down on your lap, staring wide-eyed, grief-stricken at the revelation that perhaps he really did not want to heed any of your words because you were just that bad of a student that he had decided you were not worth much the effort to concern himself with. And maybe he was right - that your words didn’t matter because you didn’t matter; that there were more affairs he better be tending to than yours; that you were only making a big deal out of this when it truthfully wasn’t.

Oh god, you felt like vomiting. Self-deprecation was getting the better of you.

He stood up and sauntered to the exit, not bothering to spare you a glance. “Come back to me when you actually know what you want to say.”

It was a matter of seconds when you ran to him, pulling him back rather harshly by the grip you had on his sleeve. He turned around due to the force to see your head still hung low, avoiding his gaze as always - only, your shoulders were quivering sporadically, and occasional sniffs were heard from your person.

“P-please, sensei...” you voiced out, shaken and horrifyingly delicate. “I-I’m so scared. Please.”

While he looked at you with contracted irises, countenance now alert from your unexpected disposition, you pulled your trembling hand out of your skirt pocket, nervously disclosing to him from your palm a small, black device with a tiny yet prominent lens.

“M-my room,” you heaved, “I-I saw this i-in my room, m-my closet, while- while I was dressing up, and I don’t know how long it had been in there but it probably already caught me bare and-”

You broke down in a flurry misery and shame, allowing yourself to fall to the ground but you didn’t - Aizawa seized you in his arms, his gentle, fatherly arms that could only do so much to console you from the horror of your reality. And he held your head as you cried on his chest, one little thing he could do after ignoring your situation and letting you think that your significance was less than the rest of his other students. At that moment, you were just so little, so fragile, so naïve he’d keep you in his pocket if he could. Why would someone do something as debauched as illegally recording your innocent self?

“I’m sor-sorry,” you sobbed, “I’m really telling the truth, p-please-”

“Shh, it’s okay. I don’t doubt you.” He reassured. Why were you apologizing? Were you that insecure of being a nuisance? No, no, you never were. Not to him. He reached for your hand to take the cursed device. “Since when did you find out?”

“J-just this morning.” You responded.

“Alright. Do you want to rest? This must have taken a huge toll on you.”

But you still had classes ongoing. Then again, you didn’t feel like looking at the faces of the prime suspects who possibly did you dirty, even when you knew that you’d have to eventually interact with them to get notes of your missed lessons. You were so tired from summoning the lot of your courage to confront your teacher regarding your problem, so you probably wouldn’t have the energy to listen to class discussion. Aizawa finalized your decision by pulling you up and guiding you towards the office of Recovery Girl who, after being briefed of your predicament by your homeroom teacher, welcomed you with a warm smile, telling you to make yourself comfortable in one of the beds in the infirmary.

He then made his way to 1A classroom, a newfound swelling of rage and disappointment in his chest, both forwarded to his class and to himself because only now did he realize that perhaps you were often so restless and apprehensive in the presence of your classmates because they did things that made you bury yourself in the deepest parts of your shell as a last attempt to revel in a sense of safety. Your timidity was not entirely derived from your own nature; it was also due to the maltreatment you were receiving from your classmates. Halting his steps by the classroom door, he looked through the glass window, seeing the class focusing on Midnight’s lecture.

Well, not quite. He could tell that your classmates were visibly affected by the lack of your presence, glancing at your desk from time to time as quiz papers were being passed behind - so they were in the middle of a test, he guessed. But that wasn’t his concern.

In impudent manner, he walked in amid Midnight’s talking, disregarding her face’s sudden morphing into vexation as the students gave him a look of confusion.

“Eraser, what are you-” she was rudely interrupted as Aizawa took the test reference papers from her hands. Something about Modern Hero Art History, he read. He faced his class with disdain, stating,

“Until someone confesses their crime of hiding a spy camera on (l/n)’s dorm room, all of you are receiving failing marks on this test.”

Quite suddenly, the class burst into violent upheaval, gasping, perking, some allowing the dreadful news of your situation to sink in, others letting out noises of complaint before actually taking consideration to the main point of Aizawa’s statement. Midnight stared at him in disbelief, but did nothing to stop his measures.

Momo abruptly stood. “I-is (y/n) okay? We should go check on her!”

“No, you shouldn’t.” Aizawa said. “All of you are suspects. You’ve no right to see her.”

“She probably just made that up get back on us for whatever fucking reason!” Yelled Bakugou.

“Yeah?” The male pro-hero disingenuously mused. He then picked up the spy camera and held it for everyone to see, before setting it down the teacher’s podium. “This was found on her closet. Would she risk recording herself naked just to prove that point?”

Noise died down thereafter, setting their sights solemnly at the device, the class collectively having the same thought in regards to the spy camera.

(Why hadn’t they thought of that? It could have been easier to check on you that way, since you almost always confined yourself in the privacy of your own room.)

“So? No one wants to speak up?” Aizawa asked, though expected the silence.

“Aizawa, have them approach you after classes. It’s embarrassing this way.” Midnight intervened.

“Well that’s the point. Get them exposed to the entire class, so everyone could realize how much of a perverted bastard one of these to-be heroes are. Good values, my ass.” He replied, not bothering to filter rather colorful vocabulary. “Where’s your dignity?”

He let a minute or two pass for the perpetrator to reveal themselves, but soon it became apparent that whomever they were refused to admit to their crime, willing to sacrifice the grades of the class for the sake of anonymity. That would be deemed useless, anyway, because Aizawa was already set on figuring out whom they were, no matter the extent he’d go to in order for that to happen. He’d expel them at once.

But he didn’t have the power to expel someone outside of his class.

“I guess that’s it for your test.” He sighed, disgruntled, picking up the small camera and sauntering his way out of the classroom after giving Midnight a look that he was dead serious with marking all of them a failing score. She stared at him in uncertainty, nonetheless abided by his decisions, albeit hesitantly.

Upon ascertaining his absence, Midnight turned to Class 1A, amusement and humor dancing on her seductive countenance.

“Naïve, hormonal teenagers,” she mused, “the closet, really? Couldn’t you have chosen somewhere less conspicuous?”

None of them bothered to tell her that they were truthfully unaware of the incident.

===

Hagakure Toru, stealth hero, entered your room silently in the nude, the only proof of her movements being a tinier, different spy camera she’d brought along with her. No, not the closet, you might find it again. It looked so painfully obvious on the desk, too, and neither in the bathroom due to its pale white interior. 

But on the pencil holder situated atop your nightstand would do. You barely moved it, anyway, only having its purpose served as a decoration; something to fill the vacancy of the bedside table. After a few adjustments in camouflaging the device with the environment and making sure the lens displayed the area of your space, Hagakure checked its concealment one more time, before mechanically heading outside and back to her own dorm. 

Her body collided almost violently with her room’s door, snapping her out of her trance. 

“H-huh!? Weird... how’d I end up in my room?” She asked, receiving no answer from particularly anyone.

But Shinso Hitoshi could provide her one, if only he weren’t outside, staring at your terrace from five stories down your room, a gratifying smirk donned on his features. Now, the only thing he had to do was dismantle and relocate the gadgets wirelessly connected with the camera Aizawa had confiscated.

[astroismypassion]

ohh that was interesting and accurate!!

can u do the same culture about the sexuality of a scorpio moon male? :)

Wow, thank you! Yeah, I observed a lot of Pisces Moon men behaviour. Though, it's usually one of the Moon placements I try to avoid. Because I really feel they don't know WHAT they WANT. Almost like they only understand it once they see it, but why would you want someone who goes with the flow so much? Someone who can change on you any minute? It just doesn't go well with my Aries Moon conjunct Saturn, despite the fact I'm Pisces IC (so I keep attracting Pisces Moons), but we just don't vibe well. Hahaha yeah!! That's another male Moon sign I just don't click with personally. I can be objective and understand their so many positive traits, but to me any Mars Moon indicates that they just don't treat women that great. Yikes. Like the amount of couples I encountered where the man had Aries or Scorpio Moon and he really riled up easily. I think it can too easily result in screaming, having loud arguments with the woman or threating with physical violence. They just go from 0 to 100 that quickly. And just my personal opinion, despite being an Aries Moon (and a Scorpio Rising at that) woman myself, I would NEVER date a Scorpio Moon male. I just think we would constantly try to compete who's emotions are more valid in a situation. These are both really emotionally expressive Moons and very reactive. So it would end up in who's feelings are more important right now. So we can't be two people like that, as an Aries Moon I would prefer someone who "grounds" those emotions with me, not challenge me or invalidate my own feelings. Furthermore, I'm a late Scorpio Rising, which means a lot of my Scorpio falls in the 12th house. This would mean their Scorpio Moon would be in my 12th house and I'm just not okay, comfortable enough with that. But yeah, back to your question: THE SEXUALITY OF A SCORPIO MOON MAN - their mother was probably highly emotionally unavailable, she provided for his basic needs, like cooking him food, made sure he ate, but everything outside of this frame, was not present. Emotional expression was not present. Maybe she bought him clothes or an item that he really likes, but she had hard time verbally expressing her praise, acknowledgement for him - so that's why these men go for women who are emotionally unavailable, they like to chase her, so that they "earn" the love, attention they tried to get from their mother, but failed to recieve - but if the woman he is chasing, demands MORE attention from him, he runs. He sees her as too clingy, constantly nagging and needy. And that's a no go for attention loving Scorpio Moon man, who wants A LOT OF ATTENTION himself. - they often times prefer working hard, hustling, making more money, then buying items, because items are the only constant things in their life, they WON'T LEAVE or betray them - so don't get fooled, these men want a lot of attention for themselves and they hate a female partner that is too attention seeking and wants more attention from him. Usually this man wants to have all the spotlight in the partnership - they are veryy reactive, so they might act on a whim. You could argue about something and suddenly take could feel suffocated and like their boundaries, limits are being crossed to much, so they just snap and suggest breaking up over a text on a whim. They could have regrets after though, but they will never admit this. They are too proud to ask for someone back, after they've said this, even if it was done impulsively - sadly, the type of men, who would often call their previous partner "crazy" after the connection ends. I see that this is Mars Moon men thing. They pull that card very often after things end. They don't necessarily talk badly about previous partner, but they make sure everyone percieves them as a bit "unstable". - they could have double standards when younger, like the woman needs to be loyal and devoted, but he can "fool around" and emotionally cheat a lot, because his main excuse is "that his feelings are not involved". Like they think they can detach from their emotions, that their feelings are apart from their physical body, so they can do that. But usually the older they get, the more they understand the devotion and significance of being emotionally intimate and loyal to one partner who is their ride or die. But when younger, could be quite a player. Well, not a player, this person is a lone wolf, but they project actions that one would percieve them that way. - sexuality wise, they tune in really well into their partner. They might seem reallyy experienced, despite maybe having 2 partners. They can be so in charge, that they just come across like they KNOW WHAT they're DOING. - probably very touchy feely or tries to convey this through prolonged eye contact and staring, but once in a relationship can need a lot of physical contact or/and sex, just a lot, because this is a way of validation for their emotional security and safety, but also making sure that they still have feelings - either a fan of light choking or not, but also can be big on hickies or/and neck kisses You can add on more below in the reply section. @astroismypassion

[mycochaos-oldacnt-plzfollownew]

Got a DM from him, decided to respond: u/kalikushkid: Sorry but a man can’t be a women just like a dog can’t be a cat. That’s not how biology works. Now they can IMAGINE OR THINK they are a women, but all this movements doing is just making up new terms every day and that’s just simply not logical. You can’t just one day say a tree is now a car because it wants to identify as a car. But im not out to attack anyone, but this hardcore movement of pushing this ideology into every part of the country, work system and school system is not right. If it was, I can easily say I feel like a female today so I’m gonna identify as a female and to use the womens restroom. How is that right?Like I said I appreciate you reaching out but that’s why I deleted the comment as fast as I posted it because I wasn’t personally trying to insult you. But I’m sorry I have to remain logical

Mycochaotix response: I am shocked you took the time to reply in a very unexpected way.  There is no hardcore movement, your perception of some "liberal woke agenda" is actually people experiencing their lives in ways that you (clearly have not attempted to consider) don't fathom and you consider as "woke".  The people that are molesting others in bathrooms (statistically heterosexual cis-straight dudes btw), are not lying about their gender and dressing in drag to do so. That is a ridiculous, a very much fox news/ and/or homophobic dog whistling that is a very unfortunate bias for one to hold.  Just like drag queens arent molesting kids, but catholic priests actively do and are shuffled around and paid to live in other countries (all by the church itself)--- but yea, drag queens reading books in the library.  Consider this: I will bet that you and those you associate with do not consider having kids at hooters as grooming? When in truth, if you were honest and applied the same logic as you are arguing against trans people ( "Trans panic" self defense comes to mind, silly, dangerous bigoted conservatives) you would have to say that taking children to hooters is grooming and illegally exposing them to sexual things.  Same idea, but for something... like skimpy cheerleader outfits with seductive dancing. Pretty normal for the average straight person who hasnt though about queer existence in a society that is built AGAINST the queer person. Are there queer members of congress trying to pass bills to restrict straight people's expression of their gender identity?  The people that are actually trans, you probably pass by in every day life and wouldnt even realize it.Its hilarious to me to think that straight people dont consider... when you have a "woman" who is cis (cis means you agree with what the doctor put on your birth certificate after slapping your bottom) but she is manlier, has short hair, maybe some facial hair in weird places... overalls, husky, good with tools, etc. That person could be accused of being a trans person and forced to use the mens restroom ... like... clergy? male-drag... lol. Halloween? All genders of drag. Weddings? Drag performances.  By the way you should watch the Trans Atlantic Call-in Show on YT, the Line network. Its hosted by actual trans people (I am just a cis gay guy who is opening up to non binary self identity. I find the "man" "woman", xx, xy ONLY argument to be boring and very isolative as well as exclusionary (when you consider the fact that in biology there are so many variance of sex presentations and mutations, there isnt just boy and girl... thats just the label we have put on it in the society, at a foundational, structural level  My calling you out as a queer phobe is meant as a heads up, not as a "fuck you straighty you cant mary your preggo wifey", ya know?)  Your reaction, the initial comment itself, was the queerphobic bias to me. You deleting it, which I didnt realize that was a thing (and explains why I didnt see your comment once I clicked out of my email) shows that you are not purely a troll for the sake of trolling.  I am sorry that you feel so conspiratorial and think that its okay to police and criminalize gender expressions that are not what you think are "right". You don't experience other's existences and you probably will never experience the societal barriers that queer people (all of the LGBTQ+ group experiencing different levels of abuse, trauma, harassment, discrimination). You surely havent been called a "fucking breeder" "straighty fuck" when you are walking down the street with your girlfriend, ill bet? I have been called "Faggot" and "fucking die faggot" more than once, in my TEENAGE stage of development, mind you while holding my boyfriends hand at that time. Imagine being followed around by two bullies through high school who call you faggot and mericon and literally spit on you, who wait for you in between classes... that was literally my junior year at a private catholic school. Its just different to grow up queer, in this society... in your preferred heteronormative society. Heres a white, straight biologist talking about "what is a woman" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0uCLgFMC-cI do not believe you know enough about biology to make some of the claims you do in your opening response. Consider watching that vid, the content creator is a school teacher and generally easy to understand and engaging.

u/kalikushkid followed me then unfollowed me after watching my most recent reel where i say hello to ‘guys, gals, and nonbinary mycopals”—— If you have a problem with my intentional inclusion of non binary mycopals in my content, your do not deserve to be connected to me to share in my knowledge and generosity. Queerphobes blocked:) ——

[literallybyronic]

hi! your post abt polari in the sandman popped up on my dash, and while i haven't watched the sandman at all, i do have an interest in polari. do you have any resources you'd recommend for someone wanting to learn about the history? books, documentaries, whatever. a lot of the stuff i've found is the same surface-level information, but i'd love to dive a bit deeper, especially its usage diachronically. thought i'd ask since u seem knowledgeable. thanks!

Hope you don't mind, but I've put some Sandman-specific commentary at the bottom as I've had several people in the tags of that post asking stuff as well so it's easier to just make one response to the whole thing and link to it. I'm also not by any means an expert, I learned of Polari initially from 70s-80s UK tv comedies and then learned a bit about it studying linguistics in general. Unfortunately there's not as much material out there as one would hope, being that while in use it was mainly a sort of under-the-table thing used so someone who heard a snippet of your conversation couldn't immediately clock you or what you were saying, and when being gay became legal/less stigmatized it fell out of fashion because it wasn't necessary. But if you want truly thorough academic sources, particularly that analyze its roots, Paul Baker is the man you want. Polari: The Lost Language of Gay Men and Fabulosa! The Story of Polari, Britain's Secret Gay Language are about the history of it, and Fantabulosa: A Dictionary of Polari and Gay Slang has a lexicon of Polari and other LGBT-specific terminology (mostly 20th cent. IIRC) Now, if you want to get hold of these works you'd likely have to find them in a library or purchase them. If you know of a site that offers discount or free uni textbooks, you may find it there as well- I know I have seen these sorts of sites floating around tumblr but I don't remember them off the top of my head. If you want something completely free and easy to grab, I found this paper (UofM dissertation) which seems like it has a decent, fairly detailed overview of the language as well as details of some of the initial linguistic sources of various bits & pieces of it- it has many different bits from different sources like thieves' cant, carnivallers' cant, yiddish, romani, italian, latin, sailing slang, cockney rhyming slang, it's a bit of a mixed bag. If you want to hear full Polari in conversation, Putting On The Dish is a short film almost entirely in Polari. Note that full Polari is near-unintelligible unless you know it- this video is a presentation on Polari that breaks down Putting On The Dish line by line into modern layspeak so you can get an idea of what's actually being said in the film.

Now, while full Polari went very quickly out of fashion after the decriminalization of male homosexuality in England in the 60s because it was no longer necessary to avoid arrest, certain specific terms and bits of slang were carried through into mainstream gay and drag culture in the latter half of the 20th century and the populace at large were made aware of them via pop culture- duck/ducky among them. Which is why throwing it haphazardly into Hob's speech is an issue if you don't know the etymology- if you're not a granny talking about her grandchildren in an old fashioned way, but a young (appearing) man talking to another man in casual conversation, it's extremely camp. It would be something like having him go around calling people "hunty" today, minus the AAVE connotations. Could he get away with it today, in the 2020s? Sure, although it might come off a bit strange for a younger guy to be throwing out nigh Dame Edna levels of old-fashioned queenieness. But during the 80s, during the renewed backlash against homosexuality that occurred during Margaret Thatcher's term and the passing of Section 28 and the AIDS crisis? Not so long after decriminalization, but long enough that the entirety of Polari slang wasn't a secret anymore, long enough that everyone knew what it meant when you used that sort of language, even if they couldn't parse just what you were saying? The decade in which you can find "ducky" used as a homophobic slur on BBC One in one of the most popular britcoms ever made? Not so much. Sure, it wasn't arrest worthy anymore. If you were out in pop culture/performing arts circles, or even among college students, likely no one would bat an eye. But if you wanted to keep your respectable establishment job teaching children of conservative parents and not have whatever the 80s UK equivalent of One Million Moms was breathing down your neck trying to get you fired "for the children", it wasn't something you would do unless you were very sure you were safe being out in that particular company and that it wasn't going to get back to your employers. So, while I'm not saying DON'T use it, I'm saying, be aware of its context in the 20th century in general, and in that time period (1970s-1990s) specifically, its potential to be used as a stereotype and/or slur, and when and how it would be no big deal to use it and when it would be potentially dangerous.

[2-cute-4-school]

𝘯𝘤𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘴/𝘰 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦

requested by the national cutie pie @heartyyjeno​

Mark Lee

he can be a bit oblivious sometimes bless his soul꒰๑˃͈꒵˂͈๑꒱୭

so he’s kinda clueless as why tf you’re so pouty 

has he said anything stupid earlier? forgotten any important date?? or... even worse

ARE YOU ON YOUR PERIOD?? (ｼ;ﾟДﾟ)ｼ  ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ ʰᵃˢ ᵗʰᵉᶦʳ ᵗʰᵉᶦʳ ᵒʷⁿ ᵖᵉʳᶦᵒᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃⁿ’ᵗ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉ ᵐʸ ᵐᶦⁿᵈ ˢᵒʳʳʸ

he’s too nervous to even prod at you rn

especially after a trainee who just happens to be wearing his hoodie passes by and you-

did you just growl?!?? ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

but you’re his baby and you’re just SO deflated and he HATES seeing you anything but happy and lively so he just can’t stand by and watch you so upset cuz his lil heart hurts too (๑◕︵◕๑)

“babe, are you uh alright?”

“yeah, just a little bit cold” *trying to subtly hint him*

“oh! that’s not good, you should have dressed warmer, should i go ask manager-hyung to turn up the heating in the practice room??”

 ‘maybe i should just set your ass on fire to warm up’ (►˛◄’!)

“or do you maybe want my hoodie?? it should be enough so you won’t be cold anymore, where did i... ohhhhh”

*light bulb turning on above his head* (〇o〇；)

“it’s fine mark, it’s not like you love me anyway it’s fine i should have seen this coming” *loud fake sobbing in your hands* *mark panic*

“no no baby come on-”

“let’s just get the divorce papers, mark lee!!!!”

“but we’re not married-” *sobbing intensifies* “i’m sorry, I’M SORRY!!! i didn’t mean to!! here, just a second!!” (´⊙ω⊙`)！

this specimen just took off his shirt and draped it over you in the middle of the practice room

“mark, wtf are you doing?!?? i was only kidding!!”

“how was i supposed to know, what if you were seriously upset-”

“hyung, can you help-”  *chenle slams door closed* *dolphin screams* “you’re paying for my eyeball removal surgery, you nasties!!”

“chenle NO”

Huang Renjun

my man here catches on pretty quickly what your pout is about

you didn’t make it exactly hard to notice either (；¬д¬)

“y/n, want some ice cream?”

“no, i’m cold, you can shove it up yo ass and share with dear [redacted]”

jesus i wonder why your s/o is mad renjun

he’s not sure how to approach the situation at first, worried that he might get a tube of ice shoved somewhere he wouldn’t want it to ゞ◎Д◎ヾ

he decides to just be himself read as blunt

“baby come oooon, i can ask them to give it back”

“no, then i’ll seem like a possessive bitch” (Θ︹Θ)ს

“don’t call yourself that!! but then should i just run back to the dorms and get another hoodie?”

“no, i missed you this week, i don’t want you to leave”

“then you can just come with me?” (≖^≖๑ )ﾌ

“but i’m too lazy to get up” same reader same

renjun : ఠ ͟ಠ then wth DO YOU WANT ?!!!?!!

your soul renjun

he’s a bit lost and you’re kinda under the weather too and he HATES it because you’re his kitten and he CAN’T and WON’T allow you to feel anyhting but like absolute royalty with him ೕ(⁍̴̀◊⁍̴́ฅ)

so he just drapes himself over your back, wrapping his arms tightly around you, caging you in a warm embrace and nuzzling his cheek into yours

“who needs a hoodie when they’ve got a junnie??!?!” (˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑)

how could anyone stay mad when a cutie like renjun just curls himself around you and pulls you flush against himself, wrapping his limbs around you and peppering kisses everywhere in reach

you’re basically purring in content at this how could you not 」(￣▽￣」)

depending on how tired the both of you are, you might qualify for a good ol’ nap cuddled up against renjun 

but don’t let this fool you

you AIN’T gona catch him making the same mistake again

he’s asking you first about absolutely anything

“no renjun, i don’t need the last of your toilet paper, why do you even- you know what, don’t answer that, just go take a shit in peace” Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

Lee Jeno

we all know jeno is too much of a sweetheart to say ‘no’ (๑′ᴗ‵๑)

he might be freezing himself and he’d still give his hoodie away to the first person who asks learn how to say NO kids

so now you’re both freezing and on top of everything you’re upset too

that’s a DOUBLE KILL for sweet babie jeno (๑◕︵◕๑)

“babe i’m sorry how was i supposed to know you don’t like them??”

“it’s not even that, jeno, you’re literally shivering!! why would you give it if you’re cold too?”

and that’s when jeno’s bf sathelit sprung into action

“wait... ‘too’?? are you cold, my baby??!??!?” (ʘᗩʘ’)

“no, wait, i mean yes, but that’s not-”

“i’ll be back in a second” he isn’t even kidding

he comes back with a blanket AND heating pads (that he doesn’t miss a second to clutch to your cheeks and then coo at your fish face)

“where did you get these from?” *suspicious*

he tells you he borrowed stole them from hyuck by politely asking for them threatening with a flex of his arm while eye smiling the entire time hyuck stood no chance ( ⚆ ᴗ ⚆ ) *nervous chuckle*

but jeno allows you no debating time before he wraps you in the blanket like a lil cutie patootie WARM burrito and leaves a *smooch* to your forehead ( ˘ ³˘)♥

you can spend an eternity arguing with him that you should take turns since he’s cold too, he isn’t taking ANY OF IT

his bubs isn’t allowed to be cold and he wants you to forget about who he lent his hoodie to too

the only way you can get him to relent is refusing to stay cocooned in it

“y/n, wear it or you’ll catch a cold!!” ( •̀ω•́ )σ

“sorry to burst your bubble, but you can and will catch a cold too!!”

that’s how you found yourself sandwiched between jeno’s arms, suffocating from both his bodt warmth and the blanket enveloping THE BOTH of you

best sauna would 110% recommend ୧( ⁼̴̶̤̀ω⁼̴̶̤́ )૭

Lee Donghyuck

my man here knows EXACTLY what he’s doing once *that person* asks him for his hoodie with a flirty smile

he lends it over with that shit eating grin but not without watching from the corner of his eye as you deflated like a loney baloney ( ◞᷄દ◟᷅ )

pretends to not notice your pout and lack of answers to his remarks

“y/n, wanna order chinese tonight?”

sweet, but not on my watch asshole *silence* (˵¯͒⌢͗¯͒˵)

“i’ll take that as a yes, i’ve been craving some seaweed soup”

*eye twitch*

‘fine u lil booger two can play at this game’ (•̀o•́)ง

you leave the room and return... wrapped up in MARK’S sweater and plop down back next to hyuck proudly (ฅ⁍̴̀◊⁍̴́)

he tenses up and turns to you

“y/n” ooooh damn you’re in deep shit

*you bat your eyelashes innocently* “yes my dear?”

“you stink, can you move further away?”

you... did not... JUST HEAR THAT??!?!!? (ﾉꐦ ⊙曲ఠ)ﾉ彡┻━┻

but you get up and walk with your tail between your legs to the other side of the room and curl up in a ball of failure

you both do your own things insilence until-

*sniffle* *hiccup* *SNIFFLE*

“y/n?” *silence*”baby??” *hiccup*

oh no oh no NO NO, hyuck’s baby ain’t crying on his watch (╯’□’)╯

he DASHES to your side and envelops you in his arms while cooing apologies and sweet nothings in your ear

“come on baby, you know i didn’t mean it, i just want your attention and your attention only and i only meant that mark’s hoodie stinks, never you, you’re my baby, you can’t-” ヾ( •́д•̀ ;)ﾉ

and then your shoulders start shaking and hyuck starts to actually worry until your sobs turn into... giggles?? hold up, WHAT??

he turns you around just to see you in a fit of giggles, the only tears present are the ones building up in your eyes from laughter

“oh you think you’re smart, don’t you??” (⁎⁍̴̀﹃ ⁍̴́⁎)♡

ATTACC OF TICKLES FOR YOU

Na Jaemin

another sweetheart tbh who wouldnt be able to refuse out of courtesy

but he just KNOWS he fcked up the moment you turn away when he leans in to kiss you (︶︹︺) ╯ ( ് દ ് )

but he ain’t giving up so easily

no matter how upset you are, depriving him of his dose of kisses? federal crime!!!! CRUELTY!!!!!!! ╰[ ಠ Ĺ̯ಠ]╯

so he keeps on pushing his affections on you

a clutching back hug, a rushed kiss wherever he is able to land it considering your struggle to avoid him, a nuzzle against your cheek, a pinch to your cheeks, a failed attempt to lockyour hands together

my man here tries not to show disappointment whenever you succesfully escape his ♡ 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 ♡   

jaemin, grumbling: “you and jisungie, a couple of hooligans, i’ll leave you on the welcome mat tonight for this” (҂⌣̀_⌣́) he won’t he loves you too much, he can’t fall asleep if he’s not 110% sure you’re well fed and happy

but he still babies you to no end

“come on my baby, what should i do so you forgive me hm?”( *¯ ³¯*)♡

you, an entire baby: *huff* “so now you care huh? go ask or no, go TAKE CARE of [redacted]” 

jaemin’s last braincell performing swan lake on thin ice male version 2020 be like ₍₍ ◝( ･’ω’･ )◟ ⁾⁾

so he sighs and leaves the room

so NOW you’re worrying that mayyyybe you pushed him a bit too far

but before you even get the chance to walk down the hallway in your mighty search for your boyfriend, everything suddenly goes black

no you didn’t pass out or did you

jaemin just creeped up on you and ENGULFED you in a blanket hug for which he DEFINITELY didn’t run a marathon to buy༼つ ் ▽ ் ༽つ

when you finally manage to worm your head out of the fluffy cocoon he engulfed you in, your words were still muffled

“nana?? how did you even-???”

he just hugs you tighter and cuts off your questions

“shhh, all that matters is that you are ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE and i am maybe perhaps forgiven??”  ◕ ‿ ◕ 

how could you ever refuse this precious soul

Zhong Chenle

so i can see one(1) scenario in which he would lend his hoodie to someone he SPECIFICALLY knows you don’t fancy

if you had a let’s say disagreement before and we all know he can be PETTY big time sooo basically he’d do it just to spite you ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

and the lil shiz looks SO PROUD of himself

but you’re not letting the brat win we ain’t no losers _へ__(‾◡◝ )>

so you just creep up behind him and stick your glacier hands up his shirt and rest them on his warm back

when i’m telling you he broke the record for the highest jump and most likely shattered any windows in the vicinity ༻(〃ຶ⌂〃ຶ)

“y/n!!!! keep your ice cubes to yourself!!”

“but i’m cold”

“your cold, your problem”

“watch me say the same thing when jaemin’s chasing you around with a wooden ruler” （；¬＿¬)

things settle down after that

or so he thought!!!!! (งಠل͜ಠ)ง never let your guard down lele sigh

another sneak attack to make sure chenle gets a SOUR taste of absolutely pure pettiness so he gets sick of it himself lol

this time a bitch ain’t joking

you shove your entire head under his shirt and then slither yourself so the top of your head pops out of chenle’s shirt collar let’s hope chenle made the wise choice of wearing a loose shirt so you both won’t suffocate

so you just blink up at him like (◕ᴥ◕)

and chenle is shrieking the entire time sigh

and while you’re too cute for him, its not exactly comfortable for either of you so he pats your head and begs asks you to get out of his shirt(?)

“am i getting your hoodie then?”

“i can’t just barge in and ask for it back”

“alright them i’m suffocating you FUN” (╯✧∇✧)╯

“i’m buying you an entire store of hoodies, JUST GET.OUT!!!”(;≧皿≦）

you have to restrain him for actually going on a shopping spree cuz he LOVES spoiling you but he pays in cuddles while you’re snuggling in your favourite hoodie of his

Park Jisung

confused babie /(@ﾟﾍﾟ@) a mood 

he probably lent his hoodie cause he was too shy to refuse and didn’t even know you don’t like the person he gave it to

and then he’s clueless when you’re pouty ｢(ﾟ<ﾟ)ﾞ??

jisung: “do you want some water??”

you: *grumbling visibly upset* ( ｰ̀εｰ́ )

jisung, at a safe distance away from you, scratching his head, rethinking life choices: “...okay, maybe not. how about choco milk?”

he keeps an eye on you but other than that he’s LOST lol

that’s when the ✨𝓱𝔂𝓾𝓷𝓰𝓼✨ kick in

emergency contact momma jaemin is the first person jisung calls once he escaped to the ‘bathroom’

“jisung, you know i love you, BUT ARE YOU DUMB?? HOW COULD YOU- blahblahblah” my man is listening to an entire rant about how to treat your partner well 101 (۶* ‘ꆚ’)۶”

now that he knows the theory, he needs the practice

but you might already worry that he fell in the toilet with how long he’s been gone for god forbid you fall into that dark void

so he calls chenle

“chenle, i’m treating you to hotpot if you bring me a blanket or hoodie in less than 5 minutes”

“add in some steak and it’s a deal” ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

“i’m so selling your soul for a piece of gum, FINE!! just be quick!!”

THIS BOI RIGHT HERE!! A TREASURE!!!! he would step on his honour just to make sure his bubs is hapyy ˭̡̞(◞⁎˃ᆺ˂)◞*✰

so after he excuses himself again to retrieve the blanket from chenle

he BURRITO WRAPS you in it and then sits down next to your confused but undeniably happy form and pats your head nervously while he rambles you’re still his most sought after for of comfort no matter what

“i’m sorry for being a bad boyfriend, i should have realized you’d be cold too and that i should always put you first and i-”

you cut him off with a chaste kiss to his cheek which definetely doesn’t leave him speechless and tomato red in the cheeks (๑♡⌓♡๑)

“it’s okay, i was just being dramatic, you should always put yourself first tho, okay baby??”

baby is malfunctioning but he still nods mindlessly and kisses your cheek back ( ᵅั ᴈ ᵅั;)

[takamishinko]

hi hi canipleaserequestagain andimbeingannoyingiknow iloveyourwriting👉👈 h e r e p l s - diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli and xiao ofc w/ a male neko reader (like diona half cat half human?) (and reader has like shadow power????? what is this lmao- i cannot explain myself to save myself- ugh-)

haha dw bout it i love writing for genshin :) but if u can please try and be more specific next time it will make it easier for me to write!

kaeya, diluc, childe, xiao, and zhongli with a male s/o with cat traits and a unique "vision"

_____

kaeya and diluc:

im just gonna lump them together im too lazy to find another gif

kaeya would probably would love your cat ears

pets them all the time and brushes them to make sure they're clean and stuff

will compliment and make small talk with you while doing it too

i headcanon diluc to love cats, he seems like a cat person

loves your ears but will never admit it

when brushing them he won't say anything because he's too busy appreciating them

kaeya would asks diona if the two of you are related

very cheesy and kinda cringe but he would definitely call you kitty/kitten

since your literally a catboy in a sense

diluc knows diona hates him but he'll still go to diona and asks is there any way to better take care of you cuz the two of you are similar

will get hate from diona obviously but he'll suck it up for you

will not call you kitty/kitten unless you literally beg him to, he don't do that.

kaeya shows you off to other ppl and tells them he has a pet cat

you offer to go on missions with kaeya and he gladly accepts because he knows your powers and acknowledges them

diluc wouldn't tell other ppl about ur relationship unless you want to, cuz as we all know he doesn't like to share

you offer to help diluc but he's overprotective and doesn't let you go on missions with him even tho he knows what you're capable of

childe:

idk why but i think childes probs really bad with animals especially cats

so he's glad that at least you like him

one time he bought u like a shit ton of fish and asked you if you like them

he never did it again

buys you all sorts of stuff cuz mans rich asf

and by stuff i mean like jewelry, whatever products you need to take care of your fur ect.

will play with your ears when cuddling

holds you in his arms like a kitty and will refuse to sleep until you're asleep first

can't grasp the idea of ur vision

he has a two different visions himself but he still can't grasp the idea of yours

asks you to duel a lot with him

cuz he's a bloodhungry mf

he'll try to figure out where your vision came from by himself so he told you to not tell him about the origin of it

he'll take you wherever he goes btw

like everywhere

one because he's made a lot of enemies throughout his battle history so he's scared of someone hurting you when he's gone

secondly because he knows he can protect you

he knows your power and how strong you are but he doesn't want to take any risks

xiao:

he doesn't even care about humans lol so he cares less about animals

except for you ofc, you're the only exception

doesn't know anything about animals and does not know how to take care of your cat traits whatsoever

but he's trying.

he doesn't understand the concept of finding something cute

so he definitely does find your ears and tail cute he just doesn't know the feeling of it

mans barely knows the feeling of being in love with someone so

impressed by your powers because it's not technically considered a vision

he doesn't care for it much as long as you can protect yourself with it before like

the 1-2 seconds he gets there he's fine with it

is not keen on pda or letting anyone except for zhongli know about this relationship

he doesn't get the idea of relationships in general really but in his idea he likes it private

he worries at times because he's an adeptus, meaning he'll get to live forever with the thought of you d13ing before him

zhongli:

i dont think zhongli is an animal person

i feel like animals are the last thing he cares about tbh he's been through too much just like xiao

however

he will try to know more about cats because his boyfriend has cat traits

is not open about the relationship unless people ask him about it

in that case he will proudly present you as his boyfriend

and say stuff like he is honored

people will disagree tho

they will say things like

"how could the former archon be in a relationship with a mere mortal, let alone a human with cat traits."

he will kindly reason with them if this does happen

however if reasoning doesn't work then he will chose 2 solutions

1. just leaving

2. "i will have order" /j

but really he doesn't care what anyone says

he just wants you to feel happy and safe cuz that's the type of bf he is :)

hutao loves you btw

thinks your ears are so cute and you guys are like bestfriends since zhongli takes u to meet her sometimes but you too just get along really well

zhongli is quite interested in your power because throughout everything he's seen during his lifetime he hasn't seen anything like yours

however just like xiao he's glad you can protect yourself with it

[anyoneseenadam]

Hii

Can you please write something for fenrys? first meeting maybe? And the bond clicks? Thank you 🥺🥺

pairing: Fenrys x reader (throne of glass)

warnings: implied smut, kissing and nudity, lil bit of blood and injuries but mainly pure fluff

a/n: fenrys is my fave and u can tell in the fic omg!! i hope you enjoy it cause it’s probs my fave one i’ve written yet :))) (i also made it a teensy bit ddlg but that’s just cause i want Fenrys to baby me lol)

——————————————————————————

Shit

Fenrys pressed his hand to the wound in his side, feeling the slow pump of blood seeping between his fingers as he stumbled through the woods. He had won the fight. The other guy now lying in the dirt, however not without consequence. And he wasn’t entirely sure he would stay alive unless he could find a healer soon.

He stopped to lean against a tree, breathing heavily as he held himself together. He transformed into a wolf, moving faster, and trying to pick up a scent, any scent, that could possibly help him, when he caught the sweetest smell he ever had. It was a female, smelling like peonies and blackberries, sweet but with an underlying smoky smell. She smelled of long days in flowers fields and even longer nights beside campfires, evenings spent curled in hand woven blankets and mornings spent drinking dark coffee and eating sweet toast.

He whimpered and began running in the direction of the scent. If he wasn’t so focused on not bleeding out he may have stopped to consider why the scent was pulling him in the way it did. He would have considered the direction he was running into, the direction of his future, his past and his present. But he just kept up, going as fast as his injured body would allow, concentrating on the sweet smell and putting one foot in front of the other.

He felt the change almost immediately, the cold snow and rough bark being swapped for cool moss. The pine trees swapped for tall, oak trees teeming with life. The silence of a frozen forest swapped for the rustling of bushes as nocturnal animals moved silently under the guise of darkness. The chill of the snow-covered woods swapped for the warmth of a summer evening. He pushed between two bushes and found himself facing a clearing, in the middle of which stood a wooden cottage, the wood dark and the roof covered in more moss, flowers growing from every surface and ivy peeking out of the crevices in the house. He stumbled down the path to the cottage, turning back into a male and crossing a small bridge over a stream that separated him from the intoxicating scent he chased.

He let out what he could only describe as a bark, calling for the female that carried the scent he was growing addicted to, collapsing onto his knees, feeling his conscious fade as he held to the side of his stomach, searing pain replaced by fiery veins as his head swayed. He barely heard the door open, only noticing the scent get so much stronger. He attempted to look up, the movement making his head spin as he collapsed, the last thing he saw, a girl in the halo of the moon.

--

Fenrys awoke in a foreign bed. An unbelievably comfortable bed, but foreign all the same. He pushed up on his forearms, gritting his teeth at the reminder of his wound.

The room he was in was dark, not just in light source, but also in décor. The window was cracked open with lacy curtains half closed, there was a tall bookshelf sat next to a desk with leather-bound books lining it, and tall candles flickering and casting the room in a golden glow. The bed he was in was small, clearly just for one, but so soft. He had blankets surrounding him and copious amounts of pillows, some that appeared hand made. In fact, upon closer inspection, a lot of the room looked handmade. Art covering the walls depicting crying women or bloody scenes that he presumed had been done by the owner of this house, given the pallet and assortment of brushed he saw on the windowsill.

And then there was that scent. It was stronger here and he pressed his face into a pillow tentatively, breathing in through his nose as he picked up on the deeper undertones. Fresh picked daisies, melted wax, the pages of old, worn books and something he couldn’t describe. Something so intoxicating he felt tears spring to his eyes, his body reacting in an unheard-of way, so overcome with emotion from scent alone.

He heard footsteps approaching the closed door and hastily put down the pillow, sitting up straight and readying himself to fight whoever it was if they were an intruder. But when you entered he faltered.

Mate. The word clanged through him as he came face to face with an angel. You were wearing a dark brown broderie dress with white hearts lining the hem, your feet bare and toenails painted black. Your hair was falling around your face, messy and untamed, and you had dark smudges around your eyes, makeup that accentuated your features and made you look like a character from the scary books he read as a boy. However right now you looked more like a teddy bear.

He briefly remembered the tail of a witch he had read. An evil witch who lured men into her house with whispered words and sweet kisses, only to steal their hearts and use their blood to keep her skin young and eyes bright. This girl however was no witch, you had elegantly pointed ears and a graceful way of moving that only came from being Fae. He watched as you moved to his side, silent on your feet, putting a tray down beside him before moving an opening the curtains further, letting in more natural light.

“How are you feeling?” your sweet voice interrupted his thoughts. His mind coming to a halt as he heard you speak.

“I- er fine..?” His voice was rough, and you smiled, a reserved smile. Moving to his side and sitting at the edge of the small bed he was on, pouring him a glass of water from a small decanter you had brought through.

“(Y/n.)” you answered his unspoken question.

“Fenrys.”

He muttered a thanks as you passed the glass to him, noting the crystals that hung around your neck and adorned your fingers.

“Crystals?” he asked, and you looked down, playing with the rings you wore nervously.

“My mother taught me about their meanings, they’ve always helped me.” You bit your lip and Fenrys decided he would never meet anyone as cute as you again, it simply wasn’t possible.

“Me too, my mother used to carry them everywhere.” You smiled at him shyly, a beat of silence passing between the two of you as he listened to the birds outside.

“Can I see your wound? I want it make sure it’s healing properly.” You asked and he nodded, pulling the blankets down slightly, grinning as your eyes widened as you took in his physique.

“I’m presuming you’re the healer I have to thank for letting me see another day.” He flirted playfully but you shook your head,

“I’m not a very good healer I’m sorry, but I did stitch it up and it should do the rest itself.” You pressed gentle fingers against the skin surrounding his wound and he glanced down, seeing it was already practically healed.

“You still saved my life.” He said, completely serious and you looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

“I’ll let you rest.” You said quietly, standing to walk away and he smiled, feeling more at ease than he ever had since the war, watching his little mate leave.

--

He woke up again a few hours later, wound completely healed and puckering into a scar. Standing he stretched his arms above his head, not bothering with a shirt as he left the room in search of the girl that had occupied his dreams.

The rest of the house was alike your room, tall candles and worn books everywhere. He passed a kitchen filled with copper utensils and a living room with an old armchair, a half-filled mug left next to it, but still no you. He saw the front door was cracked open and wandered over to it, pulling it open and stepping into the fresh air, barely feeling the chill on his body as he found you kneeling on the moss-covered ground facing away from him.

You were muttering under your breath and as he got closer he saw you were cradling a small bird with a broken wing. He watched as you closed your eyes, the ground and air seeming to still as you called upon your magic, a soft white light flowing from your hand into the bird until its wing was healed and it could flutter away.

“I thought you said you weren’t a healer,” he broke the silence and you turned to him with a small smile.

“I said I wasn’t a very good healer.” You replied, standing with green stained knees, your hair now piled atop your head and lip gloss coating your soft lips.

“What are you then?” he came closer to you, unable to resist holding his mate, even if you weren’t aware yet.

“My mother said we were natural faeries.” You said, looking at him shyly, “we derive our power from the earth, crystals, sea water, dirt, fire, stuff like that.”

He hummed, “So technically you could have any type of magic?”

“I guess, but I’m not very good at magic,” you muttered, hands fiddling with your rings again as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “Fenrys?” you asked, all pouty lips and wide eyes.

“Have you realised yet darling?” he asked, and you bit your lip. He knew he could tell you, but he wanted to hear you say it.

“I- we’re mates I think.” You were practically shaking, and he didn’t know why he suddenly had this burning desire to scoop you into his arms and protect you against the horrible world that was out there. He nodded with a smile, watching as awe took over your stunning face.

“Can I kiss you princess?” he asked, and you felt your face heat up, looking down as he pulled you closer. “Have you ever been kissed before angel?” he asked, his face hurting from the grin that was spreading over his face when you shook your head.

He tilted your head up to his, looking deeply into your eyes as your breaths came out quicker. “Not many people can find our cottage, my mother put up wards when she got ill, our family wasn’t well liked by the king. You probably only got here because we’re mates,” You muttered.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked again, running a soft hand over your head, smoothing your hair away from your face as you nodded sweetly.

He smiled before leaning down and kissing you gently. Pulling away and feeling as smug as a thief when your lips followed his, pouting at the loss of contact so quickly. He chuckled at your put out expression and leaned down to kiss you again, deeper this time, his tongue slipping into your mouth when you gasped against his lips, quickly beating your own in a battle for dominance and taking his time exploring your mouth.

He laid you down that morning and took you for the first time in the soft moss. Then again in your even softer bed. Now you were sitting in his lap, eating strawberries of a bush you had in your back garden as he pressed dizzying kisses into your neck, both of you still as bare as the day you were born, Fenrys having forgot how much he missed skin to skin contact, when you suddenly remembered.

“Fenrys?” he hummed in response, completely enamoured with the feel of your soft skin against his rough calluses. “Why were you hurt last night?”

“I didn’t tell you my job did I angel?” he asked, the pet name making you giggle as you shook your head, “I work for the queen of Terrasen.”

You gasped, “But she was killed!”

“Oh angel, when was the last time you left this cottage?” he asked, worry coming over him as he realised you had been holed up alone for so long.

“Not since my mother died. She said the king was dangerous and that he would hurt me if he found me,” your bottom lip was wobbling and Fenrys quickly kissed it away, shushing you as it dawned on him just how innocent his little girl was.

“No baby, he’s gone now, the new king of Adarlan is a very kind man and the Queen of Terrasen is wonderful,” he promised, “Will you let me take you to meet them?”

You nodded enthusiastically, bouncing slightly in his lap making him groan. He nipped at your ear lobe and you squealed as he pushed you down. You could meet them another day, today he was too busy with his little mate.

[4dtk]

NCT 127: finding out you're older than them

“Hey, can I request an NCT127 reaction to finding out you're actually older than them when they thought you were much younger than them? (like you look really young despite your age lol)” thank u for waiting honey <3 ps i just used random years that are older than the members!

enjoy! this was fun to write ^^

→ TAEIL would have his mouth in an ‘O’, but more of a ‘ooh cool!’ way where he’s nodding repeatedly to nothing seconds after you’ve spilled the beans. it sinks in more later when he thinks of your birth years side by side and he’s like omg! i’m finally not the oldest and it garners a laugh out of you that you don’t mind being called old by him. honestly, you don’t mind being called old at all by the other members, since technically you are taeil’s s/o. the members are closer to the male, so when they call him old, you join in lol

“woah hyung/noona! i can’t believe you now take the place of oldest in our group,” mark says, although gets a smack from haechan for saying that.

“ack! sorry taeil-hyung and (y/n)-hyung/(y/n)-noona, mark’s mouth is a little big today.”

taeil waves it off, curling an arm around your waist to bring you closer as mark avoids eye contact. slowly the members crowd around the four of you, interested in the topic that’s taking place. it was well over 11pm in the practice room, and having just ended dance practice, they cooled down by taking part in the conversation.

“yeah! you finally can call someone else old!” another smack and a whine from mark accompanied by an apologetic look that wasn’t seen often on donghyuck.

“i’m sorry for them,” taeil whispers with a laugh, placing a kiss onto your cheek before taking a swig of water from his bottle. he takes your shaking head as acceptance of your new position of the oldest, pleased when you return his kiss with one to his lips.

→ JOHNNY is the one to pull a dramatic face lol. you know the one where his mouth is in a ‘O’ and his eyebrows are knitted. the expression is playful, but there’s a bit of genuine shock behind it. recovers from it quickly tho and jokingly calls you ‘daddy/mommy’ to annoy you. i can see him calling you the term later if you get married or have kids though, just in a third person kinda way - something like a running joke from when he discovered you were older years ago.

“no way, you’re born in 1992?” his jaw is dropped, eyes wide that makes you smile just a little, “holy shit you’re old,” there’s a fit of laughter when your hand lands on his back as a form of retaliation (“like you’re not!”), but you agree either way, shrugging nonchalantly at the year of birth.

“then maybe now i can call you daddy/mommy,” you groan at that, shoving him for real now as he lands on the sofa behind him and doyoung at the dining table contemplates whether he should interfere. he decides not to when you full on attack your boyfriend, although with half-assed punches as johnny continues to moan out theatrically in between attacks, “but for real though, next time, i wanna hear voices calling you.”

“the fuck? you mean in like a horror movie way?”

“nah, in the i wanna have a family way.” you gulp with a surprised expression and you launch a badly timed attack that hits him in the balls. you’re apologising with a fluster, johnny is groaning in pain. oh well, this could be story to tell your kids or adopted babies next time.

→ TAEYONG is making surprised noises. it’s so cute lol that you’re the one ending up teasing him about it. taeyong forgets it sometimes, so you have the pleasure of seeing him react like a couple of times bc it finally settles in his mind that you’re older than him. other than that, yong loves you all the same and sometimes acts like a baby just so you’d cave and take care of him. he argues that it’s only the right way! older s/o? you take care of me! i want to be babied.

“huh? you’re older than me?” taeyong asks, mindlessly digging through your stuff until he comes across your ID. he curiously sifts through the information on it, but the number of your birth year seemed to stand out the most.

you hum, placing the last bits of your mask on yourself as you turn back to your boyfriend with a similar look: hair band pushing his dyed hair back, with a mask like yours on his face.

a noise of approval spills from taeyong’s mouth, and you’re left giggling in confusion until he explains his reason for it. you nod through it, happy to give your boyfriend what he wants while he takes his place in your arms. “feels nice,” taeyong mumbles, loving the way you’re playing with his fingers before he asks a question with a small voice. “can we do this more often?”

“of course,” and now you’re glad for taeyong’s curiosity of your things, presenting you with the opportunity (and excuse) to hold your lover in your arms.

→ YUTA doesn’t care either tbh. he may be one of the ones to figure it out before the others - how? you don’t know either but i have a feeling he might’ve taken a look at your ID or something along those lines. mans just nods at the year. as long as you’re still yourself and don’t change how you act in the relationship obvi bc he’s dating you bc of how you’ve presented yourself so far. it’ll feel weird if you suddenly start to dote on him just because you’re older. still likes to take care of you <3

“hey babe? were you born in 1993?” yuta inquires one day at dinner, the whole table of members somehow going a little quiet at the revelation.

“mhm! how’d you know?” you tilted your head, placing a piece of fish into your mouth and ignoring the shocked faces on the faces of the different members.

“eehh- i just saw it on your ID accidentally the other day,” yuta smiles when wiggle your mouth around to feel for the fish’s bone, finally able to shoot your boyfriend a smile as you both go back to your dinner. your laugh is the one thing that’s heard across the table and the occasional clinks of chopsticks against porcelain, and you’re confident if you were on a sitcom, the camera would just have all the members staring into it in shock.

“is it that surprising?” you asked the members, some of them waving their hands and shaking their head, knowing that yuta would probably take it up to them if they happen to have a problem with it.

“so i actually needed to call you hyung/noona?! i’m so sorry!!!” mark exclaims, earning a giggle from you.

→ DOYOUNG would react a little intensely too, but more in a starstruck, quiet kind of way. he just has this wide eyed look that make you burst out in laughter at the discovery and his lips are making a funny shape. he nods it off calm and cooly, but inside he’s like oh my god wtf really???? why didn’t i know this holy shit are they going to leave me for not knowing you can see no thought behind his eyes but you know the man’s spiralling a little inside that you have to reassure him that it’s just a minor thing (he gets out of the dump pretty quickly). your age reveal doesn’t affect him much either.

“you’re- you’re older than me?” doyoung’s mouth dries, coffee cup hovering just below his lips as you drop the bomb without much care. it’s quiet in the early morning, having had just finished filming his relay cam, but you can practically hear doyoung’s thoughts. he’s brought of it when you place a hand on his wrist.

“babe, baby, it’s okay. i didn’t tell you anyway, don’t worry about it,” your smile is blinding, and it has doyoung smiling as well, agreeing along to your reasoning and slowly easing into his previous action of drinking his beverage before he halts again.

your head tilts in question. “what is it?”

your boyfriend waves it off with a shy smile, bringing your hand to his lips as he lands a kiss on the skin there, “nothing. just thinking about how much i love you.”

“did it change?”

there’s a blush on his cheeks when he says it, glad for the two of you being in the only ones awake. “no, not one bit.”

→ JAEHYUN would one way or another kind of know already, although he’s not 100% sure. he’s observant, sometimes content with watching you take care of the other members (poor guy gets jealous tho) or just cleaning up after him when he’s a little too tired to do things - like wash his hair and what not. even if you’re not a naturally ‘taking care of others’ person, jaehyun picks up on the things that he’s heard his friends talk about regarding their older siblings (since he’s an only child) or compares to how you act around the group that’s similar to taeyong or doyoung. i can see jaehyun being a little disappointed, but it doesn’t change much as long as he can keep the dynamic of the relationship (so him giving the affection with you in his embrace). jaehyun is a quiet kind of shock like doyoung.

“huh… you’re born in 1994?”

“sure am,” you’re filling out a form for a membership, pen scribbling with swiftness in order not to hold up the line. you pass it back in a minute as the cashier processes your membership, and you feel jaehyun squeeze your hand. “why, why? is it an issue?” you mumble a thank you to the cashier, heading out of the store hand in hand while you find a spot to talk to your boyfriend.

“no no,” jaehyun giggles, a low one that makes your heart flutter, and he leans down to place a kiss onto your lips. it lingers there longer than you expected and you feel his smile on your lips. “there’s no issue. it just kinda adds up, in a way. you’re such a natural at giving advice and taking care of the other members. i’m just… a little surprised, is all.”

you laugh at that, meeting his lips again in a loving peck, “okay, that’s good then!”

→ JUNGWOO says “woowww!” like video game commentary and claps. yes he claps, you’re not sure why either but he’s just so thrilled to learn of your birth year that he just nods along and gives you a thumb-up after. i can’t say he’ll be that shocked, more of like happy for you like you just told him you passed a test or something. when you ask him about it, he just shrugs and pats you on the back. it’s all part of his personality, though, and like taeyong/yuta, he wouldn’t care much apart from being able to call you ‘sunbaenim’ as a joke. sometimes calls you senpai LMAO

“woah, you’re older than me by four years?” jungwoo mumbles when you show him your old IDs, the topic of your birth year overriding the original goal of wanting to see your foetus pictures.

“hm? oh yeah, i guess i never really mentioned it, huh?” you continue with what you were doing, cleaning up the stray hairs sticking out from your hairdo before jungwoo comes back hugging with his long limbs and silky outfit.

“congrats!” he meets your eyes through the vanity mirror and proceeds to peck your cheek and your expression that follows next brings laughter to jungwoo’s chest. you can feel it move from behind you, hoping he wouldn’t mess up the hour you spent on your hair. “why congrats?” your lip is curled with a raise of your eyebrows as your boyfriend continues to hang off your shoulders.

he thinks, then replies with a dunno and leaves the area to settle back on the bed. the snap of his camera follows next, no doubt taking pictures of the serious face shots of your old ID cards.

→ MARK would be one of the ones that you think is over exaggerating, except he’s just that shocked. he would stumble over his words and texting johnny or whoever to tell him and be like “yoooo? huh? what?” mark would probably be the last one to make the connection and johnny is all like “yeah? u didn’t know?” and mark is like “HOW WOULD I KNOW THEY LOOK SO YOUNG?????!!” hysterical, this man. mark almost doesn’t believe it for a second and you have to take out your ID to show him lmfao

mark’s head snaps to you once he overhears you in conversation with the flyer distributor, catching your attention with something that was in line with your interests. mark tunes out the promoter explaining the features of the product, only coming back to earth when you mention your date of birth for a trial of their services.

“you’re WHAT? nah. no. no way, show me your ID.”

the other jumps back at the sudden exclamation while you just raise an eyebrow. sorry, excuse him, you mumble, and you’re dragging mark off to the side as you fumble in your bag to pull out your ID in exasperation. the timing is imperfectly perfect: mark bends down to inspect your birth year, you flip open the wallet a little too hard, it hits his head in a loud thwack!

“ow.” mark giggles, squinting his eyes to finally make out the fading ‘1998’ on your card, “oh! so the same as jungwoo hyung?” he giggles again, “he finally as someone to talk to!”

→ HAECHAN is shocked but would immediately mask it and go like “oh my! still so pretty, miss halmeoni,” he coos and you’re so ready to smack him. in a way acts like johnny but will not stop using the word on a daily basis (unless you tell him that you don’t like it). it becomes part of the pet names that he calls you, but he still likes the classic baby/honey/love. sometimes also like to whine with hyung/noona if he wants something, like a new video game or for you to buy food for him. other than that, haechan is pretty indifferent about you being older than him.

“hah?! you’re born in 1999?” haechan has his neck stuck out like a fish out of water, not posing that much difference since he’s just finished a shower. you make the bed with deftness, tucking in the duvet easily as your boyfriend approaches from behind.

he’s shocked, but before you can comment on it, he recovers quickly to deliver a quip through his toothpaste-filled mouth, “oh my! halmeoni, then you should take a seat!” your hands are on your hips, glaring at him while he only grins.

you indulge him, though, and take a seat on the newly made bed, relaxing into the softness of the sheets with elbows.

“if i’m considered elderly, then, you can do the housework for me, right?” the dread that slowly fills up haechan’s features make you explode into giggles, before pushing yourself up to come face to face with him.

“thought so,” you whispered, petting his head as you continue the clean-up of the room.

[messwriting]

Written for The Smut Pile Collab: Mafia AU | MASTERLIST HERE.

SCARRED HANDS

Iwaizumi Hajime (Older) x Female Reader

Rating: E for explicit | Don’t read this if under eighteen.

Warnings:  Mafia AU related plot, including drugs. gun traffic and homicide. Violence. SERIOUS TALK ABOUT GAMBLING, ADDICTION, DEBT AND FAMILY ISSUES/FORGIVENESS. Hajime is older, about early forties while Reader is in her twenties, so: Age gap.  Slow-burn (I think?). Presence of an OC named Rei in a side-ship with Mattsun. In this first part there’s no smut.

Part One | Part Two (soon) Word count: 7.5k

Note: This is my second contribution to The Smut Pile Collab, hosted by the lovelies @present-mel​, @pleasantanathema​ and @linestrider​. Thank you so much Claudia, @thisisthehardestthing​​​, for beta-ing this and all your amazing comments who have made me scream so much i’m pretty sure my neighbors are wary for my sanity. There’s a side OC/Mattsun here that is my small gift to @mixedhell​​ for everything she has always done for me and for being such a great beta, friend and enabler. <3

I was trying to not break this in two parts, but as it seems my brain keeps hellbent on putting more plot in this, it has become unavoidable. Uh, enjoy? This is my excuse of a fic to just love Iwaizumi at any and all given opportunity! Second part in the works but with no release date yet. <3

Iwaizumi never wanted this life. 

He thinks about it while cleaning his bloody knuckles with a wet cloth, taking care to surround the parts where the skin had broken, scars over scars to the point that he practically did not know what was old and what was recent. The pain didn't bother him anymore, a constant in his life to the point that he barely registered the new injuries. That was the life of the second-in-command of the Seijoh Mafia.

He lived a poor childhood, violent teenage years. At the time, he didn’t have much choice in resorting to crime. It was easy, even; he was good with his hands, fast and built broad and strong since he was young. When his only and best friend told him he wanted to be the Boss, he’d almost laughed before seeing that familiar glint in his friend's eyes – that pure, fierce determination Oikawa had been practically born with– and, void of a dream for himself, he pledged himself to that of his only family.

“Take him to the back,” Hajime tells his trusted duo, who watched over him and the man they’ve been working for the past hour. Matsukawa nods shortly and puts out the cigarette he was smoking, still in half, on the nearest surface, before addressing the bloody man tied to a chair.

“What are you going to do now?” Hanamaki asks from the entrance threshold, not looking at him but rather to the night sky above them outside the deposit in the outskirts of the town. His joint is ending, sweet smoke blowing out and swirling up. 

“I’ll tell Oikawa,” Iwaizumi says like it was obvious. “He’s gonna have to be more careful with his companies.”

Hanamaki snorts while smiling. “Not that he’ll listen.”

Hajime shrugs, throwing the blood-stained rag back without a care for where it’ll land. “That’s his problem.” Then he sighs, looking up at the smoke from Hanamaki’s joint swirling around the wind. “The mole is ours.”

--

Iwaizumi has a special place, if he could call it that. 

He discovered the owner had died with consternation, when he went to the place at his usual time and found it, for what was probably the first time in more than a decade, closed. The diner operated until the ignoble hours of the night, which is why, since Iwaizumi was still a soldier, he used to spend the last hours of his day or the early hours of his mornings there, in what he’d call his little break in between work; his moment of calm even on the most eventful nights of his violent life.

Since he had risen the ranks rather quickly, the habit had given way to certain care with the frequency in which he visited the place, although the time had little variation and was always after two in the morning. 

It was the moment when the night calmed down, the clubs and parties booming, the restaurants that opened at early hours already closed; the brave few passers-by running to their safe places on empty streets while the cars running through the streets lessened by the minute. This was the time when night-shift policemen were already tired of both the events of their shift and the long worked hours, nodding off in their cars.

The diner was on a street just a few blocks away from the heaviest area of ​​the city, where clubs and parties continued until the bright hours of the morning; the drug traffic in these places had been feeding the old mafia veins for decades, since before Iwaizumi, and he was certain he would meet his end way before it did. 

The place was small, nothing much, two big windows beyond the door showing the old, almost vintage interior, careless by the owner who never paid much attention to the decorative aspect of the place. Twenty years ago, when Iwaizumi went from being a simple associate to a soldier, just beginning his life as a man, the place was busier, almost famous - and even then the nights were always the quietest shift, the time where degenerates inherited the city.

Iwaizumi didn't know exactly what had disappointed him so much when he found out that old Lou had gone for the better. Lou wasn't even the old man’s real name - he just adopted it once the name of the diner -- Lou’s Diner -- ended up merging with his in the daily life of being the business owner. Iwaizumi was a constant presence in the place enough to know that Lou, in fact, was the name of the old man's wife, who had died young.

In fact, Iwaizumi spent the days following the discovery of the man’s passing trying to figure out where the place would end - Lou had never said anything about family, but there was always the possibility that the business had been pledged in warrant of some debt and if not, there was the bank. The old man wasn’t exactly what you’d call an exemplary business manager.

A surprise came again when Iwaizumi drove past the place during the day and for the first time in three weeks, there was movement inside the diner - and his first thought is theft. 

It wouldn’t be surprising, considering both the neighborhood and the fact that with the place closed three weeks before, every thug in the street knows that everything is still there.

Iwa sighs, then makes a u-turn so he can park close to the alley on the diner’s corner. He’s surprised, but he realizes it is, in fact, not the case. Unless the young woman holding a broom and looking around as she rolls up the sleeves of a loose oversized T-shirt over normal jeans shorts were, somehow, a phenomenal smuggler.

Against his better judgment, Iwaizumi gets out of his BMW and steps carefully onto the sidewalk, checking his surroundings with practiced ease. The glass doors of the diner are wide open, sidewalk wet and leaking soapy water into the street. Iwa crosses through it with little care, pausing for a moment while the oblivious girl inside keeps brushing away.

“Hello,” Iwaizumi salutes from the wide open doors, perhaps to also let the place breathe some air after the days closed. You startle, the broom in your hand flying to the floor with a loud crash. 

“Holy fuck!” you yelp, turning around with both hands in front of your body. “Are you trying to kill me, dude?” 

Iwaizumi almost chuckles, the corners of his lips turning up. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He takes his hands out of his pockets, showing them in front of his body as a sign of peace. And it isn’t like he can’t easily kill you and anyone you may have inside with just them.

“Oh god. My heart,” you murmur, clenching your shirt over your chest while sucking in a few breaths. Your eyes finally come up to his. “Sorry, I think I was just too distracted.”

Hajime nods. He isn’t a man to say sorry twice. “I was just passing by and noticed the diner open. It’s been closed for some weeks, so I was just checking.”

“Oh, sure.” Your mouth opens in a small ‘o’, and Iwaizumi is surprised at how it got his attention. Pretty lips on an even prettier face. “Yeah… I’m reopening it this week. I just need to fix some things around here.”

Iwaizumi gives you a once over. Discreetly. He leans against the doorframe, curiosity winning him over.  “So, you bought it?”

“What?” you laugh, hand coming to wipe the sweat from your brow. “No. I inherited it."

Iwaizumi assumes that he was unable to hide his surprise by the way your lips move to form an amused smile.

“Ha, yes, most people have the same reaction as you.” You bend to grab the broom in the ground and Iwaizumi’s eyes tread for a second too long along the spanse of your body while you’re not looking. “Which is funny, and also tells a whole tale about the old man.”

“I suppose it does,” Iwaizumi nods once while speaking.

He looks over the place, sees the few changes being done; the paint cans on the ground, the boxes by the corner, the shelfs being replaced and the new color of the upholstered sofas. You in the middle of it all -- the new and the old. 

“I’ll leave you to your cleaning, then. It’s good to know the place isn’t closing.” 

Before you can say anything else, he’s already taking his leave. 

You turn around to thank him but Iwaizumi is already far down the sidewalk, not sparing a glance at you once his back is turned. Your head bends sideways almost involuntary, eyes threading the expanse of his broad back, clad in a beautiful light blue social shirt, rolled sleeves over bulging forearms, with black slacks and expensive looking shoes. While you hoped you didn’t stare before, now you are free to do so and wow, that is a beautiful male specimen if you ever saw one. 

Your first thought is that he didn’t belong in here -- the scenario of a beaten up street and a mildly abandoned diner, in the middle of the day on the foul part of the city. Then again, he looks rather at ease, familiarized, and it isn’t like you can know someone from just one look. 

If anything, a good looking man like that always comes with a catch.

“Hey,” your friend comes through the kitchen doors, looking pretty much like you, tired and sweaty after the morning deep cleaning. “What's going on here? I heard something but I was on the phone”

“Oh,” you say, then grin mischievously at her. “A hot piece of man just passed by asking about the diner.”

“No!” your friend almost cried, lips pressing together in a pout. “See! This is why I keep being single! I never get to see any hotties from the fucking kitchen.”

“Hey, not my fault you decided to be a cook.”

--

Iwaizumi tells himself he’s just checking on the place he likes.

It’s out of a weird misplaced sentimentality, he reasons. He’s been going there for years after all. He’s checking out the new owner, that’s it. The young woman who somehow inherited Lou’s bar. The pretty young woman who was redecorating and cleaning the place that probably didn’t get any love for the last fifteen years. And that’s what Iwaizumi is telling himself when he crosses the city at late hours of the night because the first thing he needs to know is if you’re stupid enough to actually open the place until the ungodly hours of mornings like the old man used to.

And, sure enough, you are. 

It’s past three in the morning when Iwaizumi parks on the other side of the street, but the regulars pour in like clockwork at the sight of the open diner -- old fellas, mostly, and some passersby who work at night. The whores, and the tired workers, all mingling the later it gets. Iwaizumi counts five clients, which is a busy night, and somehow he struggles to find security in your arrangement. 

It’s a weird feeling to have for someone -- worry -- and for all the constant preoccupation he has going on in his life with Oikawa, he’s sure he hasn't felt that particular brand of it in some time. 

For that same reason, Hajime turns around and leaves.

A week later and he’s back. 

This time it’s earlier in the night, just past midnight and the diner is empty save for three regulars he knows well enough. Iwaizumi hates to admit it, but he’s curious; Matsukawa told him that the place had been closing at four and reopening at eleven, with not exactly lots of clients, but with enough patrons to not be discouraged. 

But it was the fact that the man depicted the place as “nice” that got Iwaizumi interested.  Mattsun is not the kind to throw empty comments like those and there was a glint in this man's eyes that made him suspicious. If a small hint of jealousy sparks on Iwa’s chest, he says it’s for the place.

He signals for Makki to turn a curve so he can get off on the other side of the street and tells him to park somewhere out of sight. He doesn’t like to have the BMW close, working as a beacon; the fact Iwa already dares to have a routine place is trouble enough. 

“Bring me a coffee when you come back.” The strawberry blonde tells him while perching himself over the car window, driving off before Iwaizumi can give him a nasty stare. Iwa takes his time on the pavement directly across the diner, lighting a cigarette while moving to cross the street. 

The bell that rings when he crosses the door threshold surprises him for a moment, bringing the stares of everyone inside to him. Some of the old regulars nod his way, and Iwaizumi nods in return, a stiff greeting but one they grew used to in the years of sharing the space.

You look eager, eyebrows shooting up as if you’re not expecting to see him standing in the middle of the place like that. Then, your lips turn up into a smile and Iwaizumi almost misses the sentiment behind it. It’s been far too long since someone looks this pleased into seeing him anywhere. 

Well, with the exception of Oikawa. But that’s because he normally shows up to save the man’s stupid ass.

Iwaizumi walks over to his usual spot, in the back, by the window and sits on the newer looking red sofa. The scratched old table looks bright with new polishing. He notes the changes, appreciates them even: the cleaner looking designs despite the vintage diner ambience, the cream walls, the new smell of good food and well brewed coffee. 

The ground is clean for the first time in a few years, the glass windows and doors looking good and there’s an overall different air around the small place. It feels good. Iwaizumi isn’t used to it. You come close to him, no uniform but jeans and a loose white shirt with a black apron tied around your middle, a coffee pot in one hand and a cup in the other.

“Hello there. Good night -- or day, depending on how your life works.” Your smile is disconcerting. You signal with your head to the coffee. “Want some coffee?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“No worries.” You pour some for him and ask if he wants milk or cream, which he doesn’t. Iwaizumi likes his coffee black. “Can I bring the menu?”

It’s on the tip of his tongue to say no. But he’s curious about what you’re doing with the place, so he nods. Again, you smile while nodding and leaving, and Iwaizumi is baffled by your disposition to be nice at this hour. The old mas was more of a fuck-it kinda person, so it’s a small whishplash to have actual service in here.

Before you leave, however, you turn back and smile at him in what Hajime can only define as playfully. 

“Glad you finally decided to come in and give us a shot.” Your eyes are bright with mirth, proud of yourself for being so observant, and in the late hours of night he feels charged. “I promise you it’s not so bad.”

Oh, Hajime thinks as his face feels slightly warm, a twitch on his fingertips while he looks at your pretty face. This can’t be good.

You wait a bit. Seeing as the whole movement inside the diner changes with the small addition of one man at the corner table. You realise people haven’t sat on that table during the late nights, even when Iwaizumi had yet to even enter the place before.

So, you brace yourself with all the courage you’ve been mustering, and pretend to offer him a refill of coffee while walking over. You’ve been conjuring up theories for him since you saw him the first time, perched on the doors while you were cleaning, and it didn’t help that you kept seeing his car passing around the place for some time before he finally decided to come to the diner.

“Are you an old regular or something?” you ask while refilling his cup with hot, freshly brewed coffee. You’d lie if anyone asked if you did a whole new coffee pot just to find an opening to talk to him.

“Why do you ask?” His eyes are always so deep, the musky green color seemingly pulling you in, black irises eating you up. Your pulse quickens but you hold his eyes on yours even as your face grows warm.

“It’s just that you’re always here.” The words tumble out of your mouth quickly as you deposit the coffee pot on the table, looking at him almost eagerly. “Most of my regulars seem to know you and leave you alone. So I thought that maybe, you know, you may come here for the old times sake.”

He holds your eyes with his for a moment, then looks down to the cup of coffee while he brings it to his lips. 

“I guess you could say that.” 

It feels like a period. Like he isn’t much for small talk, so you pat the apron in front of you, pick up the coffee pot from the table and nod while looking back to the counter to mask your disappointment with such a short conversation.

“Hmm, got’cha.”

“So, the old man was your father?” His voice picks up a tone higher and you turn with big eyes to him. He looks quiet, observant while he looks up at you and somehow, without nothing to hold on, you decide you want to talk to him some more.

“No, I never knew my dad. The stupid man was my grandpa.” 

“Hm,” Iwaizumi nods, his eyes still on you. For some reason you can’t stand the silence, so you keep talking.

“He’d left the business for me and if I'm honest things were not going great where I was so,” you shrug. “I thought about giving this a shot.”

“And your mom?” His eyes on yours make you feel pressured and also lacking, your mouth working before your mind can really think. “She’s been dead since I was a kid.”

He blinks, surprised, and when he speaks he sounds so genuine you smile, “sorry to hear that.” 

“No problem. It’s life, right?” you ask rhetorically, an unwavering smile on your face and bright eyes despite the forlorn subject. Hajime’s chest does something weird at the sight, eyes moving down to the coffee mug by his hands.

Is it? Hajime doesn’t know. But he also hasn't had parents or any kind of family besides Oikawa and the trouble duo, so he nods, murmuring agreement. You leave him alone for the rest of the night, but not without getting his name and introducing yourself; and you do it mostly because you’re still unsure about the man. He’s quiet, mostly keeps to himself while drinking his coffee and sometimes ordering something he never finishes, but other than that, he doesn’t do much. Which, despite that, doesn’t change the fact he sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of the place. 

His clothes are expensive even if they’re simple; his watch and rings glints under the diner lights, catching attention; and his eyes are like two black gunbarrels pointed straight at you in a face with a jawline sharp enough to cut. 

He makes you feel slightly unnerved and a whole lot interested. 

 Hajime wonders, as he exits the dinner and walks the short distance to where Makki has parked the car, if he has enough reasons to be worried about you. He enters the back of the expensive black BMW, gives the annoying blonde his promised coffee and nods so he can start driving. Iwaizumi settles on the backseat and turns to look at Hanamaki, eyeing him through the rearview mirror.

“Makki.” 

“Yes, Boss.” The answer comes immediately.

“Is this place in anyone's rotation?” Makki’s eyes thread to the mirror to look Hajime back.

“Old Lou’s dinner?”

“Yes.”

Makki’s brows furrow in thought while he seems to think it over. “I’m not sure, but I don’t think so.” His eyes lock on Hajime’s figure through the rearview mirror and Iwa counts the seconds until he asks, since his curiosity always wins. ”Why?”

“Check it for me.”  It’s the end of conversation, and Makki knows. He nods.

“‘kay, Iwa.”

Iwaizumi’s thoughts are brewing, his brows furrowing deeply while he thinks over the whole exchange from earlier.

In a short conversation of a few minutes, you already unsuspectingly told him that you had no family left, no one to miss you if you’re gone. From that he can infer the easy things -- that you probably live alone, seeing as he’s never seen a boyfriend in the restaurant or calling you while you’re working the counter; that you must either live in your grandpa’s house or a small apartment if you’re trying to make more money by renting the old man’s place; that you probably leave alone after closing the dinner -- and he got all that by an easy small talk over coffee. 

Iwa’s lips turn sour while he turns to watch over the streets late at night, the dangerous things that lie in the dark. He ignores that he, himself, is one of them. 

Yes, maybe he should check on you.

--

Iwaizumi observes with a frown while Oikawa waltzes inside his penthouse with his new friend. The woman is, much like all of Oikawa’s partners, beautiful. Luxurious hair and curves, all wrapped in an equally expensive package the color of bright fucking red. Tonight things are less busy in the place, with Iwaizumi and the duo in the living room, while Kunimi keeps watch on the door from his position bended over the counter. Like with everything in his life, the man looks bored and done at the same time.

“I have to give it to him, he does have taste.” Hanamaki points it out unemotionally, his eyes threading along the lady of the moment hanging off Oikawa’s arm. Mattsun looks up from his phone in time to catch a look, his arched brow doing an appearance.

“Yeah, but that’s not new.”

“The idiot blows through women as you do with joints.” Iwaizumi scoffs, twirling his cup of whisky and enjoys the moment to sip his drink. “Which is stupid, both of you.”

“Couldn’t hear your criticism over the sound of you downing that whisky.” Hanamaki pipes in and Mattsun laughs but quickly retrieves himself back to his phone once Iwaizumi gives both of them a nasty glare. 

On the other side of the room, Oikawa parts ways with his company, probably telling the woman to go somewhere inside his apartment while he handles business. His companion’s normally don’t ask much about what he does -- the less they know, the less they lie.

While Iwaizumi does understand the appeal of having someone to warm his bed at night like that, it just seems ridiculous to parade them around as Oikawa does; as if they’re a walking vitrine of his power and money, clad in so many brilliants, Hajime wonders if Oikawa can even see them through the shine.

Iwaizumi sighs when Oikawa finally moves in their direction, crossing his leg over his thigh as he stretches his back against the chair backrest. He drinks the rest of the whisky in one go.

 “I see you already treated yourself to some beverage, Iwa-chan.”

The ridiculous nickname stuck, even after all these years, no matter how many glares and curses Hajime threw his way– and Oikawa has seen Hajime kill men before. Still, the brunette stays unwavering in his teasing -- and Iwa has made arrangements to make sure no one but him feels free to use that denomination.

“Good whisky ain’t making me nicer, shittykawa.” There’s also the fact Iwaizumi maintains his mockery with his friend, even as most of the Mob now call him Boss. He supposes it’s good to have few good childhood memories, if one can.

“At least it makes you less grumpy.” 

Iwaizumi wonders if people would believe him if he told them the Boss pokes his tongue out and flops on the sofa then again, Oikawa’s charm is in being unwavering himself. When Oikawa crosses his leg over his knee and blinks feral, focused eyes over Iwaizumi, it’s easy to see the beast that brought him into the position as the chief in command of the Seijoh Mafia. “So, what did you have to tell me that couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

“You’re being reckless,” Iwa starts, calm. “I’ve told you about being careful with your companion’s while I’m busy handling that subject.”

Oikawa pretends not to listen, falling back on his big chair without a care in the world. 

“She’s a friend!” His face turns smug, even while there’s a small whine in his voice. It’s a stark difference from the feral Oikawa Tooru that put fear in the hearts of every Mafia in the bordering neighborhoods where they acted and climbed the ranks so fast, he became the head of Seijoh mob while only closing in on his early thirties -- and that was ten years ago. Still, around Iwaizumi, Oikawa keeps being the same brat he ever was.

“You need to get laid, Iwa.” The brunette laughs a bit, pouring more whisky for both of them. “How long it’s been, huh? Two decades? That’s how long your frown has been etched onto your face.”

Makki and Mattsun try to hide their smiles, but it’s futile.

“Don’t worry about my love life.”

“Love life?” Now Oikawa laughs, hand smacking his knee in his amusement. “I’m talking fucking, Iwa. We don’t have time for love.”

“Another reason why you shouldn’t worry about what doesn’t pertain to you.”

“Ohh~” Iwaizumi hates that he saw the singsong coming, “such big words. Gosh, that must mean it’s been years without action down there.”

“Why the worry, Tooru?” Iwaizumi asks, voice turning deep, eyes threading over Oikawa’s face. That has happened -- and ended, but it didn’t mean the two men didn’t play around it sometimes.

“Is the sex you’ve been getting so bad, you’ve been worried about mine?” Iwa scoffs, drinks a full mouth of whisky and turns to look at Oikawa once again. 

“You look too old to be getting any action,” Oikawa mocks him, snickering behind his glass. “Look at those lines and wrinkles, oh gosh Iwa, we’re the same age, you’re making me look bad.”

“Shut up, trashykawa,” Iwaizumi grumbles. “I’m just going to tell you this time: fucking behave. I’m looking into the mole, but you need to watch your back.”

“I thought that was your job, though.”

“Makes it a bit fucking hard when you bring home a diferent friend every night. Babysitting a toddler would be easier than you.” Iwaizumi grumbles and scoffs, finishing his drink in one go. “I’m doing my job. Now listen to me so that I can do it well.”

Iwaizumi slams his glass on the wooden coffee table and stands, the sound loud but not enough to disturb the rest of the men around the place. Maddog does look at Iwaizumi as if thinking what’s the cause for his distress, but the man has learned long ago that Oikawa rattles on everyone's nerves at some point -- Iwa just happens to be ticked more than the rest, a consequence of being friends with the man, he assumes.

Iwa pats his slacks, re-doing the button on his suit and walks away, moving a hand in the air as a way to say goodbye to Oikawa. “Your friend is waiting for you.” 

Hanamaki and Matsukawa are behind him before he stops in front of the elevator doors, Kunimi not even looking up as the three of them leave. “Try not to be dead by the morning.”

“I’ll do my best~” Oikawa singsongs back, a carefree smile on his face. 

Mattsun is driving tonight and that means Hanamaki is speaking the whole time, going on about how the Karasuno Mob is growing, potentially able to slip between Seijoh and Shiratorizawa’s territory if they’re not careful. Iwaizumi listens, but doesn’t really offer anything to the discussion; he’s too caught up in his head, wondering about what he’s going to do with Oikawa and how he can flush out the mole as fast as possible until something catches his ear, every thought in his mind freezing at the mention of the diner neighborhood.

“What did you say?”

“Huh?” Makki stops, looking back through the seat. “Oh, some of ours have been talking about seeing Shiratorizawa around downtown territory.” Makki turns serious, and it happens so rarely that the moment his demeanor shifts, Iwaizumi actually grasps his worries by the simple difference in the air surrounding the blonde. “Johzenji too.”

Now, that’s worrisome. While Seijoh and Shiratorizawa have some shared business in downtown and somewhat of a truce on those places, Johzenji is way too far from its limits, crossing borders they know they should not. Iwaizumi catches sight of how his frown actually caves lines on his forehead and Oikawa’s snickers pops in his mind as if the male was right there, he scoffs but his look is serious.

They can’t leave it that way.

Hajime tells himself that the fact that your face pops in his mind and the thought of a territorial war a few blocks away from the Diner makes his hands constrict into fists, has nothing to do with how fast he decided he must handle it. 

But it gets a little less believable as he orders Matsukawa to keep an eye out on your street, like if it wasn’t clear that by your street -- he meant you.

--

You notice the man staying around.

Actually, you doubt anyone hasn’t noticed the tall man who likes to linger just a bit too much around your diner as if he’s your hired security guard or something. He’s taller than most people, broad and built enough for you to see it in the way his clothes cling to his form, and has this fixation with metal, because both his ears are pierced and his knuckles are always adorned with thick rings. He looks bad, and has a cigarette pending from his lips to crown the look. Which, of course, prompts half the women population who enjoy your diner to look. It probably doesn’t help that despite his aloof behavior he can be quite the charmer.

And you’re suspecting your cook and friend is falling for it.

“If you light that cigarette right now after I’ve just told you to leave and smoke outside, I swear to god I’ll use the fire extinguisher on you, Matsukawa-san.” You always chastise him out of the Dinner once he starts smoking, since Issei has no respect for the very big, very red “no smoking” sign you had to purchase just because of him. He grins at you from his high seat on the counter and lifts his hands in a sign of rendition.

“Okay, honey. I’ll drop it.” 

You eye him very sharply until his fingers finally close around his cigar and he takes it out the clasp of his lips. You watch until he pockets it again in his metal case. Then, you finally blink and nod, turning to enter inside your kitchen. You’ve made the mistake of trusting him before, letting him out of your sight once he signaled defeat when you reprimanded him, just to come out and find him smoking anyway. So, now, you take the extra precautions with him, reason why you open the door without warning to check on him, finding him calmly studying the menu. 

He eyes you and blinks, a big grin splitting his face. 

“I’ll behave,” he crosses a finger over his heart like a scout. ”Promise.” 

You snort, but turn around and enter the kitchen space, yelling at your friend the newest orders, to which she just yells back a fine.

You grab the done plates– buttermilk pancakes and swiss omelette with orange juice and black coffee– and push the door outside with your hip, while calmly balancing everything on your tray. 

It’s a quiet late-morning, most of the regulars have already left for work and you’re dealing with the unusual clients, just three if you count Mattsun.

Once you’re back at the counter, Matsukawa is signaling with the menu for you to come over. 

“So, what’s your order, Matsukawa-san?”

“First, I’d like you to drop the san, it makes me feels fucking old.” 

You tease him just the bit by giving him a pointed look with a very arched eyebrow. 

“Stop it,” he hisses at you, eyes narrowing. “Don’t you fuckin-”

“You are old,” you tell him, pleased with yourself when he hisses as if burned, making you sport a big smile while on it. He’s glaring at you. “See, this is how I feel when I catch you smoking once I tell you not to.”

His lopsided grin is a panty-dropper; too bad you’re thinking about how it would be if someone else grinned at you like that. “Valid.” 

The seconds tick by while you wait for Matsukawa to say his order but he just stares at you as if you’re slowly losing your mind. You sigh, resist the urge to facepalm but do press two fingers into the middle of your forehead in an upwards motion to help with the stress, to look at him again and smile. 

“Your order, Matsukawa-san?”

“Again with the -san? Let me make a deal with you. You call me Issei and I’ll never smoke inside again.”

You eye him suspiciously but ultimately decide it’s a nice deal. 

“Deal,” you say, while jutting your lips out to hide a smile, still looking for hints he may be lying. “And if I catch you smoking inside again I’ll start calling you Jiji.”

Issei’s eyes go large, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline until he coughs and sputters, “you wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.”

The stare-down goes for a few seconds until you end it by saying, “I’ll get your regular,” and turning around to leave.

“This isn’t over!”

“Yeah, yeah, just behave.”

Once you’re in the kitchen, the clattering and noises are loud.

“You should chill a bit before you end up completely mutilating the pans, Rei. Half my money is in your kitchen.”

She throws you a nasty glare from across all the other way by her stove, doing God knows what but whatever it is smells heavenly.

“Do you believe the gall of this idiot outside?”

“Yep,” you chirp, but you eye her closely while she continues. You know her enough to know what’ll happen next.

“He had the fucking nerve to say my food was too salty.”

“Uh,” Escapes your lips, but you narrow your eyes at her, taking in the redness of her face, the way she looks overheated and the gesticulating arms while she walks around using too much strength while opening and closing the kitchen cabinets.

“SALTY!” She hollers to the emptiness of her kitchen, which pretty much makes it echo through the walls. You’re half certain you can hear Matsukawa chuckling outside. You wait for it, by now you know it’s coming. “I’ll show him what the fuck being too salty means.” She keeps going, cranky and beating the pans with that bit too much strength so that the clanks and tinkling sound loud even to you. You wait just a little bit more. “That handsome motherfucker, I’ll fucking deck him with my frying pan!”

And there it is.

You snicker just the tiniest bit, and put the order for his regular. She snatches it from your hand and points a paring knife at you.

“Don’t you dare say anything.” She does look fairly threatening, but the thing is that you’ve been on the other side of that knife one too many times to care now.

“Hey, if you like insufferable assholes, who am I to judge?”

“Fuck you.”

--

The movement is slow tonight, the cold weather with a drizzle makes your regulars stay home and the streets stay empty. It’s just a bit past midnight and you already know you’re closing early. Iwaizumi has been seated at his usual spot for a good twenty minutes already and, much like every other night, he’s just doing nothing -- looking over the street, reading the paper, sometimes a book or daring to look at his phone. Rei is still moving around in the kitchen and there’s only one other person in the diner -- an old man eating his soup calmly on the whole other side.

You feel restless; your eyes keep darting to him as if waiting to be caught, definitely not being the subtle person you hope to be, nothing catches your attention when Iwaizumi sits calmly by the window reading the paper and sipping on fresh coffee. Your eyes thread through his broad shoulders, poorly hidden under the fitted black social button up, rolled sleeves showing big, veiny forearms leading to strong, broad hands that seem even bigger when they engulf the coffee mug.

Hajime wears one ring, thick, black and a matching watch that probably costs as much as this whole place. You don’t need to see it to know his dark grey slacks are fitted; you’ve caught sight of it when he entered and you think there’ll be hell on earth before you forget how perfectly it hugs his frame, how delicious his ass is and how his waist is marked, beautifully, by the black belt. You thank the gods that he had already disposed of his suit jacket, or you’d be unable to survive so long.

 You’re probably drooling, so you tear your eyes from him to make yourself a hot cup of coffee and hope that you can pretend the flustered feeling in your insides is from the steaming caffeine quickening your heart. However, seeing as your eyes drag slowly back to him, you think that’s a lost battle. 

You drink a bit, breathe some more and decide to say fuck it. You’re not risking anything -- if he doesn’t want to talk, he can just say so. So you wash your hands, shed your apron and pick your coffee mug back up while walking to him. Before you even tread more than two steps, his deep, hard green eyes are already looking at you. They’re so impenetrable and focused, you wonder if he looks long enough, will he see your mind?

The thought makes your face heat up and you swallow the saliva pooling on your mouth before speaking,“mind if I sit?”

He nods no, but still answers, “go ahead.”

You slide on the seat in front of him, and for a second you regret your choice. Up close and with nowhere else to look, he’s even bigger -- his frame engulfs anything past his shoulders, his eyes demanding the sole focus of yours and you give it to him. But there’s a thought in your mind that helps you fight back the urge to let yourself slide and drown in the pool of deep green.

“So, I've been meaning to ask,” you tread carefully, knowing it’s a minefield ahead. You’ve been alone in this world with just your grandpa for a long time, and he was no saint. You’re no stranger to the fact that his diner has always been in mob-controlled territory. You’ve seen him bullied into paying back gambling loans too many times to not know how a bad man looks, and still, here you are, body warming and trembling just by the sight of what must be the baddest of them all.  “Were you friends with my grandpa or something?”

Iwaizumi looks at you, blinks and then hums a question, slightly furrowed brows his only sign of confusion. “Hm?”

“It’s just that I’ve noticed… that you seem like you’ve been taking care of this place… of me.” You speak while your eyes keep darting between his face and down, a warm feeling seeping from your eyes that makes his brain slow down, too caught up in watching you until he realizes he walked into a tricky question.

Fuck. Think fast, Hajime. 

“We weren’t exactly friends. But he was a mean card player and he got a lot of money out of me.” Iwaizumi speaks fondly, which is probably the only thing indicating that he isn’t here for some wicked king of payback. You nod while your brows slide up.

“I’m sure you also took a lot of money from him.”

“If I was lucky,” he pauses, “I don’t like to bet. But it was nice to play against him, even without betting.”

“I’m surprised he wanted to play without betting.”

“Rare occasions.” Iwa muses with a small smile in the corner of his lips.

Iwaizumi looks at you again, that deep stare as if he’s trying to catch your soul intent. “What I mean with that is… He never talked about you. Or having a family, for that matter.”

“Well… it’s like you put it. He was a gambler. And before he got good, he was bad. We struggled a lot with his debt while I was growing up. Once I left the house and I was working and got into college... he called me, asking for money.  He knew I had a college fund -- small, but you know, enough to get by for a few years. I gave some of it to him and I told him that if he was going to call me for money, it’d be better if he didn’t call at all, so… our relationship was pretty strained this last few years.” 

Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to say. So he tests around something he hasn't used in a long time, “sorry.”

“It’s fine. I just couldn’t possibly deal with his debt on top of mine, you know. And it was his choice not to call me for other reasons, so.” You shrug your shoulders, eyes downcast for a moment. If Iwaizumi ever knew how to console someone, he’d forgotten it a long time ago, but he’ll swear on his gun and every god above that he wishes he was sensible enough now to offer any kind of words that can resemble solace. He doesn’t know what you find in his face that makes you do a funny face, nose wrinkling, while smiling.

“It’s ok, I don’t hate him, you know. I just... He’s dead and I can’t help but think these things are in the past. Which may be fucked up but I’ve made my choice not to go through life with these demons.”

Iwaizumi nods, solemn. He knows a thing or twelve about going through life with demons and he wishes that you didn’t have to bear this even for the smallest of seconds. It gnaws inside your being, and the places where their claws sink usually fester. But, he doesn’t even risk thinking about what it’d be like for him to live without them -- they’re the closest to penitence for a whole life of sin he’s ever gonna get.

Talking to Hajime makes hours fly by like minutes. 

He’s not very talkative himself, but he’s a great listener and he gives you fair, honest answers so you try to do the same. You ask him about the old man, what he’d been doing, and Hajime doesn’t even blink while saying that he kept gambling until his death; tells you how he’d been worried that the diner had been offered as collateral to some debt and would fall victim of your grandpa’s addiction even after his death. You tell him about life after college, how disheartening and anxious it was, how you’ve struggled without finding a job and hustled your way together with Rei. You tell him how you’ve felt good to win the Diner -- the new ideas and purpose, the excitement and how fun it was to think about life like this -- a business owner. 

The one thing Hajime doesn’t tell you about is his job, which you feel is answer enough; and when you ask him about the late nights at the Diner, his lips quirk up and your heart quickens, whole body warming at how he tells you the diner has a special place in his life and that he doesn’t likes to sleep, only crashing once the sun come out.

He stays with you as you bid Rei farewell and close the restaurant, walks you to his car and drives you to your house. His car doesn’t move until you make it safe inside and only when your face comes to the window, does it starts to move away.

-

[to be continued]