#but then again i am always like post and run

[osakanone]

I read and agree with 95% of your post.

Prefacing: You're great. You are wonderful, I am now following your very good posts and I am a ball of weird neurotic energy that has to get this off my chest.

Why?

TheHorrors™ as of late have made me need to explain this like five times in four days.

Writing it like this means we can discuss it, i can link a post and people who need to see it can see it and I can get on with my life instead of having a redundant talk.

I might add citations pictures, etc etc later but I've already spent 45 minutes writing and re-writing this and I need to get this out of my system.

Once again, you're great and the fustration inside the response is not directed at you but at the issue itself.

You? Wonderful. Glorious poster. Evil baby. Delightful. Much love. Excellent Blorbo choices.

Issue? Shitty. Fills me with outrage. Paradoxical. MurderDeathKill.

Okay? Okay: rant begin:

The problem is "atomized individualism"...

1) Has a really well known and distorted meaning in libertarian circles you're probably unaware of which says "we're very rational and we never get emotional, and if I've got mine fuck you" coming from John Locke who quietly leaves out the "equality" part. 2) Actually self-defeating and paradoxical (I'll explain this)

Atomism claims everybody is

self-interested, self-sufficient and that altruism (being nice for the sake of being nice) is purely performative -- and that in functinal applied practice, asking for help or having systems to fall back on is inherently not-ok because you're not being the platonic ideal of the atomism (this is actually how familial orders emerge, instead of socialized safety-nets).

The fine text is also supposed to state that every member is equal which kind of contradicts the idea that the individual is pushed first; if you have more resources than others, your ability to execute on your individuality is inherently unequal.

It boils down to "the individual" vs "every individual" which gets very very messy.

It should mean freedom from bad things (over-exposure, abuse, starvation, etc, etc) not freedom to do bad things -- but this is where things start to get dicey.

Individualism claims the individual is the primary source of all value, and that the individual is always rational -- with the applied caviat that if anybody is acting irrationally, they lose their individuality.

You're gonna see a lot of applied caviats. Things which sound good on paper, but play out in really really messy ways in real people as side-effects of value-systems which then become the main goals of said systems when they benefit the people upholding those systems.

Combining atomization and individualism, you get...

"I am entirely rational, I am the only source of value, I am self-sufficient, and I am concerned with myself, and anybody who disagrees with me is irrational, because I am rationality defined"

So to go over the freedom part again:

This plays out as...

"uhhh yeah its a philosophy that means its good for me to not pay my taxes, because taxes are evil because they hurt me personally and specifically as an individual by subtracting my explicit capacity to execute on my self-interest (eg, get thing)"

This the mentality of your Peter Thiels, your Elon Musks, and your Donald Trumps. People who only see the "the divine right of kings" as wrong because they themselves are not the kings.

Wait, this is a lot, how did we get to this???

Their definitions ignore that most social definitions and benefits come from implicit attitudes and behaviors we do unconsciously (since humans spend most of their time running in a kind of autopilot called automaticity).

We learn this implicit automaticity from being raised, cared for, socialized, taught, and forgiven. They are hard to measure with a utility function mathematically, because they're hazy and vague and are often the root of interpretations of words (as we've experienced here, with this very thread).

Explicit attitudes are those which happen at the conscious or aware level: Its when you know you have to do something, or you haven't engrained something so you do it performatively out loud. This is significantly easier to measure with a utility function and is a huge part of how the legal system functions, and why the legal system assumes all actors (people) are rational.

Spoilers: All "rational" decision-making neurologically speaking originates from urges and feelings, and is then packaged and organized into "rationality".

Nobody human is rational; there are only rationalizers. Anybody who claims to be rational and calls anybody else emotional is both lying and projecting. If nobody felt anything, nobody would do anything: That's what depression is, even high functioning depression.

Going further, communication and implicit attitude learning and how explicit attitudes become implicit attitudes is the human skill.

Its why its inherently nonsensical to try and atomize us from eachother. We are all disturbingly susceptible to propaganda.

It isn't our tool-use (corvids molluscs, diatoms and arachnids have us beat there up until the last 80 to 15,000 years when we did metal properly afaik) -- its not our intelligence or short-term-memory (primates have us beat there, as genius level counters, strategizers and selectors): Its communication and sharing out strategies.

This is what we mean when we call humans "social organisms".

Seperating individuals truly leads to brain damage, which we see in those who undergo extended solitary isolation -- and likewise those who are placed into extended sensory deprivation such as white-room torture.

So, returning to our point:

What actually happens to our self-interested agents?

They refuse to concede that they can be irrational (which they scientifically and verifiably are: we are all irrational most of the time running on habit and memory, not pure decision making).

Result?

Self-interested agents who will not concede always compete -- whether towards singular or group-goals, and as resources collapse the group goals become singular goals.

Why?

Conceding that you are capable of irrationality and understanding what this means and the consequences and trusting that you can feel safe doing this requires emotional insight.

To develop emotional insight, you need to be a skilled communicator or have had excellent social training either through direct social contact or secondary social contact (social and cognitive stimulus creating cognitive simulations, aka media you consume).

The venn diagram of properties producing ultra-competitors is...

Dysthymia (being unable to create enjoyment or satisfaction without external validation, such as scoring, numbers or from another perosn)

An insecure/avoidant attachment style (eg, you depend on the numbers system because forming trust is compromised for whatever reason)

This produces an arms-race of ultra-competitors all trying to maximize whatever society sees as the most valuable (eg, money) -- who quickly figure out that the optimal strategy is to limit the number of competitors they have.

They do this by tricking the other members into playing "other games" or to collect "other things" as a distraction to sate them while improving how well they achieve their own goals.

These are your time vampires like the internet, your endless merchandising of ownership/consumer status, your religions to sate existential status needs, your abusive families playing for membership approval status needs, etc.

Rant End.

Okay, so now what?

So I agree with 95% of what you're saying, and I'm a pedantic bitch basically.

I love betraying nation and bloodline. I love rejecting the social order. I love being able to pursue my own goals even when the world around me wants me to adopt theirs instead. I love blasphemy and queerness and getting to choose who my family is.

I love this.

Everything you want is good, but atomized individualism is not the descriptor for those things because pure atomized individual reinvents the problems it seeks to solve for the individual by externalizing them to maximize its own returns.

Its why libertarians always create government again, but with extra steps where they are the leaders, which is apparently fine for some reason.

"I love atomized individualism" is not a statement you can make in a void, especially given current events.

What you mean is

"I love equitable atomacized indivividualism"

And by adding just one word that clarifies your statement and nullifies so many MANY problems, I 100% agree with you.

Okay got that out of my system.

Phew.

May your self-loving-vampire and may all of your self-loving be glorious and your Kohaku pleantiful.

Take care! :3

I love atomized individualism. I love betraying nation and bloodline. I love rejecting the social order. I love being able to pursue my own goals even when the world around me wants me to adopt theirs instead. I love blasphemy and queerness and getting to choose who my family is.

[really-fanny-longbottom]

okay sooooo

i had this little thought right

okay so maybe like reader has been a part of the inner circle for a looooong time like since the batboys were kids and they've all been friends forever, naturaly azriel has been in love with her since then, and a few years ago he realised they were mates (she doesn't know)

this one time she walks into the townhouse in just a bra and trousers, casually just walking in drinking coffee while the rhys and cass are just flabbergasted (cass being cass is eyeing the goods real hard because shes always been hot and he knows it) rhys is smirking and all (hes no less honestly)

then az walks in and hes just like what the fuck, she tries to explain smth happened to her shirt on the way and hes just grumbling and takes off his own shirt and is like put this own (cass is naturally making comments that make az's blood boil)

then you can choose where that goes from there

lmfaoooo im so sorry i couldn't get this idea out of my head

its okayyyy if you can't write it!!!

hi! sorry it took me so long to post but i've been really busy with university and only now have i had some free time.

anyway, here it is! thank you so much for this request, i loved writing it!

i hope you like it! 🫶🏻

my hero

summary: a small but very happy incident.

warnings: none

pairings: azriel x reader

words: 2.2k

tick 

tack

tick 

tack 

"ugh," a heavy groan escaped your lips at the sound of the clock. you seated slightly, your head pounding without mercy. 

as you looked at the window, your eyes fought against the early sunlight, before adjusting and finally allowing you to fully open them.

it took you a few seconds to remember your surroundings, and to be honest, to remember anything. 

the confusion didn't last long when all the memories from last night hit you all at once. 

you had gone out for the night with morrigan. you went to rita's for a girls night.

a night with a lot of drinking and dancing and singing and drinking again — mysterious headache solved.

you looked down on you, seeing the shiny short black dress you had chosen for last night specifically. 

you passed your hands through your messy hair and took a glance at your bedroom, absorbing the chaos that a very drunk you had caused.

how could just a person cause such a mess?

tick 

tack

tick

tack

"ugh!" a loud annoyed groan left your lips again

at the sound of the clock that kept attacking your brain. 

before you could think twice, you turned and reached out to punch the clock, causing it to fall to the ground.

you lowered yourself on the bed sheets with an arm over your head.

this was going to be a very long day.

and that's when it you.

your eyes and two seconds later, your legs were fighting against the bed sheets. 

after losing that battle, you ended up falling to the ground with a loud noise. 

a small 'huff' came out of your mouth before getting up and running to the clock as quickly as possible to check the time. 

10:07 am

"oh, shit."

you were late for your internship at the clinic.

"oh, shit."

you quickly begin to look for clean clothes at the same time you try to get rid of your dress. 

you manage to find something that looked relatively clean and put it on, your heart racing as you tried to get your hair to not look like a complete mess.

when you finished putting your hair in a more presentable state, you hurried to put on your shoes, but when you noticed the time again, you only managed to put on a sock before grabbing the first pair of shoes in sight and running out of your room. 

as you run for the stairs, you didn't have time to react before a body collided with yours and spilled coffee all over your t-shirt.

the hot contents against your skin forced you to let out a small scream and dropped the shoes to the floor as you struggled to pull the fabric of your t-shirt away from your body. 

"shit, shit, shit!" you cursed at the same time you blew on your t-shirt.

great, as if your day wasn't already going badly. 

"sorry," a small voice said.

you met your attacker's gaze as you looked up to see a beautiful female with green eyes and brown hair — morrigan's friend. 

right, you had forgotten that she had come home with the two of you — with mor. 

the female looked mortified as you stared at her annoyed. when you saw her opening her mouth to say something, you quickly stopped her.

"don't," you raised your hand at her, you didn't have time for this, "just. . .just go."

you pointed at morrigan's bedroom, whose door was slightly open. the female followed your direction, shrinking a little as she passed through you.

"idiot!" you cursed quietly. 

you looked at your bedroom and considered your options: the chances that you may find a new clean t-shirt in the middle of that mess, were very low and you were already late.

so you gave up and made your way down the stairs, starting to unbutton your shirt before completely taking it off, leaving you in your black lacy bra, and entering the kitchen.

rhysand and cassian who had been enjoying a late breakfast found themselves speechless upon your entrance. 

their gazes followed you as you moved to the sink and started working on removing the stain.

the males shared a gaze between them, identical smirks forming on both of their faces.

"good morning, y/n." rhysand greeted you as he took a sip of his tea cup.

you jumped startled, your eyes found theirs immediately, "gods, i didn't see you there."

rhysand's smirk grew wider. "oh, we know."

"did you get mugged?" cassian asked as he took in your figure.

you were barefoot with only one sock and shirtless.

"what?" you asked confused. 

cassian's eyes roam over your body.

"oh, no, morrigan's friend though it was a good idea to spill her coffee over me. freaking idiot," you murmured the last part, still focused on the task in hand.

cassian let out a snort "well, i'll make sure to thank her personally for this amazing view."

you rolled your eyes at his comment "oh, shut up, cassian. we grew up together, we've all seen each other naked at one point."

rhys smirked and grew before adding "sure, but we were either kids or teenagers at those times." 

cassian glanced at his brother, amusement all over his features "maybe we should go back to those times."

with another roll of your eyes, you tried to suppress a smile at your friend's comment while trying to get rid of the stain.

as on cue, the shadowsinger entered the kitchen to join his brothers for breakfast.

instead, he was surprised with a view of you shirtless — his shirtless mate.

the very reason, rhys and cassian had begun to tease you in the first place. 

what made this whole situation much funnier — the fact that you weren't aware of this detail. 

and things had just become a lot more interesting now with azriel in the room. 

his eyes widened at the sight of you but when he turned to find his brothers, his eyes darkened and a low growl was released.

"nice of you to join us, brother," cassian said casually as he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest.

he can practically feel the heat coming off of azriel, like smoke coming out of his ears.

"what's wrong, az?" rhys asked him, knowing exactly what was going on but seeing azriel riled up was too funny to miss it.

at the sound of their voices, you looked up and your eyes found a pair of hazel ones.

"oh, hi, azriel." you greeted him with your sweet smile — the one he liked so much.

the shadowsinger found himself melting at your words, at the way you said his name. 

his eyes instantly softed, a small blush coming to his cheeks and a goofy smile on his lips, "h-hi, y/n." 

you gave him a warm smile before going back to your task.

azriel regained his composure at the sound of his brothers' muffled laughter. 

he sighed and rolled his eyes at their behavior, he hadn't catched a break from them since he revealed the mating bond on one drunken night.

cassian elbowed rhys gently in the ribs to get his attention, when his eyes found his, the general gestured with his head to the shadowsinger. 

"hey, az" cassian tried to contain his urge to laugh, he knew what was about to happen. 

"what?" azriel managed to say, his eyes still on your figure.

"we were just talking. . ." cassian started, his voice teasing "about going back to those times when we were teenagers." 

azriel face scrunched in confusion, he shot his brother a look. 

"you know," cassian continued, his peripheral vision caught rhys trying to control himself  "those times where we didn't care about being naked in front of each other." 

both rhys and cassian snorted at the sight of azriel's face turning red.

"what?!" the male let out a little too loud then he had intended.

rhys proceeded, "yeah, you know. when we didn't care so much about formalities. don't you agree, y/n?" 

you rolled your eyes again at rhys comment, "i think you two have too much free time" you chuckled, "cauldron has mercy on the poor females that will ended up as your mates."

"hey!" both cassian and rhys protested.

azriel smiled at your comment, but it fell when he observed both of his brothers eyes roaming over your body, grins splattered on their features.

azriel moved to the edge of the table, placing his hands on the surface of it before giving them a glare and clenching his jaw.

"stop looking at her like that before i break your faces" he threatened through gritted teeth. 

cassian and rhys were quick to lift their arms in surrender, both muttering a small "yes, sir." 

azriel rolled his eyes in annoyance. his attention was caught when he heard you cursed quietly. 

he sent one last warning look to the two males before moving to stand behind you.

he was so close, that all it took was another step of his for your back to be pressed against his chest.

azriel would love to know the feeling of that sensation, but he remained where he was.

he peeked through your shoulder and saw that you couldn't get rid of the annoying coffee stain. 

"gods, madja is going to kill me for being late." 

without a second thought, azriel took a step back.

"here," he told you.

you turned to find him taking off his own shirt.

your eyes roamed his body — his sun-kissed skin, his muscles, his illyrian tattoos. 

you loved those tattoos. 

"put it on," he extended his hand to you, holding out his shirt.

"oh, that's not necessary, az. i-"

"it's okay, y/n. i- i want you too. by the way, why don't you go get your shoes and i'll take you to the clinic? it's quicker that way and you don't have to walk." 

your face softened, "really? you would do that?" 

the corner of his lips lifted for a small smile, only you to make him feel this way.

"of course." 

you grabbed his shirt, "ugh, thank you, az."

you put it on and azriel tried to not let the sight of your small feature into his too big of a shirt to affect him, but he failed when his heart skipped a beat.

you moved forward and grabbed his cheeks, kissing him on the left one.

caught off guard, azriel tried to hide the fact that his skin had heated up under your touch. 

a new blush came to decorate his cheeks. 

"hm. . .i-" the male couldn't find his words with the sound of his heart roaming in his ears. 

"you're my hero, az" you gave a big smile before making your way to the stairs to collect your shoes. 

azriel stood there in the middle of the kitchen with a hand making it's way to his face to touch the place you kissed him.

cassian and rhys burst out laughing, not being able to remain composed of their brother in love. 

cassian got up from his seat and walked towards his brother, clasping a hand on his back.

"behold of the big bad scary shadow-," cassian leaned over in laughter, "shadowsinger" he managed to complete. 

rhys appeared on his other side, "oh, brother. only if your enemies could see you now, they would think how big of a fool they are."  

azriel clenched his jaw again, and when he turned to answer them, he was stopped by a honey-sweet voice.

"i'm ready," you told him from the entrance.

once again, the shadowsinger was left completely disarmed.

a goofy smile reappeared on his face. 

he didn't even spare a glance at his brothers before making his way to you, "let's go then."

cassian and rhys were left in the kitchen laughing to themselves.

•••

the trip to the clinic was quick.

azriel landed softly on the ground, keeping a hand on your waist and another on your back to make sure you were stable.

you took a step forward before turning to him.

"thank you again, az. you literally just saved my morning." 

and there it was that goofy smile again.

"oh, it's nothing really. my pleasure." 

you let out a small giggle. you reached forward, surrounding his neck with one of your arms and gave him a kiss on the cheek again.

azriel's heart raced and his voice caught in his throat. 

you took a step back "you're my hero, azriel. what would i do without you?" 

you caressed his cheek with the back of your hand before giving him one last smile and moving towards the clinic.

"hm, i-" was all the male managed to say while watching you entering the clinic with his shirt.

he watched as you grabbed the door, and turned to him to wave goodbye. 

azriel returned the gesture. it was at that moment that he realized how much power you had over him.

he didn't push away that feeling, in fact he embraced it.

it was about time to let the walls he had built so long ago disappear. 

and you were the right person for that.

azriel made a decision at that moment.

at the end of the day, he would come pick you up and ask you out on a date.

he would buy you flowers, tell you how he felt and take you to dinner.

he just hoped you felt the same way.

and that you said yes.

general taglist: @emryb @fantasyandshit @azrielover @shadowsingercassia @littlelou22 @brieflyclassymortal @lilah-asteria @meul-a @lure-of-writing @pruvii @olive-main @mybestfriendmademe @anuttellaa @mrsjna @lively-potter @avajustreads @talesofadragon @circe143 @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @dark-chaos-314 @tequilya @scoliobean @saltedcoffeescotch @charlotteintumbleland @agirlwithwifiandalaptop @987coley

*if you asked to be tagged and you weren't, it's because I couldn't find your blog.

the beautiful dividers belong to @cafekitsune

[hannahluvsbillie]

the only one

casual part 3.

(but can be read as a one shot)

part one

✫ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ~ you thought billie had moved on, seeing her post like it was nothing, she was fine. maybe it was just casual to her.

★ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ~ billie eilish x reader

★ 𝐜𝐰! ~ mentions of panic attack, angst, nightmares (?)

ᡣ𐭩 a/n ~ hi! thank you all sm for waiting for part 3!! this one has a little time-skip, i’m thinking maybe 1-2 months since casual part 2. let me know if you like it, hopefully it lived up to your expectations 🥺

it’s been a few months since that last meet up billie and you had. the one where she belittled you and your feelings.

you blocked her the morning after, it wasn’t easy blocking her. someone you fell in love with, but you realized that it was one sided the day she told you it was just causal.

maybe you wanted her to spill her feelings on how she loved you, and didn’t just want you for a quick hook up to relive some steam. but deep down you knew that’d never be the case.

to say you’ve been doing good is a lie, you’ve been.. okay. dating felt pointless as of now, you knew your heart would always belong to billie, even if you two weren’t serious, it didn’t mean you loved her any less.

billie on the other hand, looked like she was doing great. i mean- it wasn’t like you’ve checked up on her, you were non contact. but on her instagram she looked like she was doing great. she’s on tour, her album is still doing good, she has good friends. it was bittersweet to see her now, it still made you cry some nights.

you were laying in your bed, staring up at the ceiling. you had just woke up from your sleep, a dream waking you up. the dream was a recurring one you’ve gotten for the past few months since you ended it with billie.

the dream went something like this: you were in bed and when you turned over, you see billie, sleeping peacefully. you just observe her for however long until your brain wakes you up.

it never went father then that, it was just a constant reminder of her. maybe that’s why you couldn’t get over her.

suddenly your phone starts ringing, waking you from your daze. you shake your head a little and roll over, grabbing your phone off of the nightstand and rubbing your eyes to see who’s calling.

who would call you at 3 am?

you read the number, you don’t recognize it. it’s your area code, but that’s all you recognize. god- they’ve called you 12 times.

you just decide to pick up, hoping they’d stop after that.

“hel-“ you clear your throat, trying to make it sound like you weren’t just asleep. “hello?” you say weakly.

“y/n?” the other person says.

your heart drops, how could you not recognize that voice? the voice that used to sing praises to you, who used to speak to you in the softest voice, the voice you fell in love with.

“billie? what the fuck?” you say, blinking repeatedly. you blocked her, how was she calling you? you pinch yourself once to make sure you aren’t still dreaming, only to be met with pain. okay, so this was real.

“i know im sorry- i just- i really need you right now, i have no one else to call and i don’t know what to do.” billie speaks, immediately apologizing. you can already tell she was in the middle of a

panic attack. her voice cracking when she speaks. you feel that same pang in your chest hearing her like that.

you take a deep breath, running a hand through your hair. “okay- bills- billie, calm down. breathe for a minute” you say. you regret answering, it just made everything come back.

you hear her take a breathe and go silent for a moment, before speaking again. “i’m really sorry- i know you blocked me and we aren’t supposed to be talking, but i just- i dont know what to do. you’re the only one that knows how to deal with me when im like- when im like this.” she speaks softly, her voice still shaky.

you go silent for a second, zoning out looking at the floor. inviting her over would be horrible for you, ruining all of the progress you’ve made. but fuck, you can’t just leave her alone, you can’t help but care about her.

“okay- fuck, do you want to come-“

“yeah.”

“okay.”

your eyes widen when she speaks. that was quick. as soon as she says yes you hang up, putting your phone down. what did you just do?

a few minutes later you’re pacing though the kitchen, waiting for the doorbell to ring. the gravity of what you just did sinks in, you shouldn’t of offered.

but as soon as the doorbell rings and you rush over to open the door- maybe a bit too quickly, and you see a disheveled billie, all of it disappears. god you just wanted to protect her from everything.

her hair sticks to her forehead, the same hair that you used to play with, her eyes were red and looked up at you with so

much guilt. it’s obvious she feels horrible

about coming here. maybe she wasn’t as good as it seemed on her instagram. it looks like she’s back in that place she was in when you first met her.

“oh, baby…” you coo, gently putting a hand on her shoulder and leading her inside. when you close the door and look back at her, she looks like a lost puppy, her eyes still swollen.

“i’m- sorry-“ billie chokes out, starting to cry again. you immediately pull her into a hug, gently cradling her head in your hand, the other hand gently rubbing her back.

“it’s okay billie.” you say, gently kissing her head.

you felt so many things, you let her into your house even when she broke your heart, you truely could never deny her, especially when she’s crying in your arms like this.

you’re fucked now.

[ooftale]

This game, god I love this game

ok so Im copying and pasting the rant for the game from my Insta under the cut + the alt vers, PLEASE Im just expressing my love for the game in it but it's too late for me to rewrite the whole thing

I wish Tumblr would let me post with music like Insta,,, this is a zillion times better with the "Niko and the World Machine" song gah

God this game is a masterpiece though, OK if u wanna read more do it under here:

OKAY here's the rant!!

oh my god i fucking LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH. I SWEAR. I CANNOT FUCKING EXPRESS. MY LOVE. FOR THIS GAME. Almost a year has passed since my first One Shot Post (doesn't apply to Tumblr, last One Shot post here is more recent) and almost a year has passed since my first playthrough

It wasn't really a blind playthrough, iirc i already knew lots of stuff about the story, ending and even the solstice run itself, too, it was already part of my interests to an extent, but I didn't know or remembered the details, and experiencing it myself still felt like a fully blind Playthrough (gotta again thank my shitty memory too), and was it freaking beautiful,,, plus, i finished it around xmas time, which is like my fave period of the year, so!! I still remember i got a photo of the TV while I was playing, there were gorgeous purple lights, both from LEDs and both from the game, since it was becoming dark outside, with little xmas lights around,, gah this game holds such a special place in my heart, I don't think any other game captured my love as much as this one, SURE, Im a big lover of many MANY games, and this one isn't even the first indie rpg i ever got into (hello Undertale and deltarune), and while those are very special to me as they're some of my first interests, OneShot is just a whole another type of special, a special special if you will

And recently I've seen my friend play it blind for the first time, and as I was (Awesomely) backseating, I got to basically relive it, in a way, and I always get a little phase for it after reseeing content of it, so here I am, drawing one of my personal favorite portions of the game! Sorry for the unusual type of rant I did this time, but I just. Argh. This game, dammit

Also fun fact, so many things about this game, from the 2014 version, to songs, to imagery, to scenes, freak me so much out or make me feel so weird I feel like I need to puke

Gotta love it

[pluckyredhead]

You have been posting intriguing things about Big Bad Wolf, and I always love a rec, especially when I'm having a rough year for books! If you care to, I'd love to hear what draws you to the books.

Ahhhh I'm obsessed with them!

Okay so Big Bad Wolf by Charlie Adhara is a series of five M/M paranormal romance procedurals, all about the same couple, Cooper and Park, and the first book is The Wolf at the Door.

Basically, Cooper Dayton is an FBI agent who right before the series begins is nearly killed by a werewolf, and that's how he learns that werewolves are real. So he gets transferred to the super secret werewolf division of the FBI (the BIA), and in the first book he's assigned to catch what appears to be a werewolf serial killer with a werewolf agent named Oliver Park. Full "oh no he's hot!!!" reaction goes here. Cooper is very very very bad at relying on anyone else or needing help but he and Park eventually figure out how to work together and also hook up a bunch of times before they eventually catch the serial killer. The rest of the series follows the development of their relationship as they solve various other werewolf-related murders.

I read the entire series in less than two weeks and it only took that long because once I got to the last book I drew it out because I didn't want it to be over that fast. And then I reread them all immediately.

Anyway! You wanted to know why I like them:

THE ROMANCE. I am not usually an established relationship gal but watching these two grow as individuals and as a couple is so rewarding. They both have significant issues (the first couple of books make it seem like Cooper's a mess and Park is perfect, but that's just because Park is very good at masking - he is actually even more of a mess than Cooper), but they grow so much as the series goes along. The conversations they have about their issues and their relationship in Book 4 are 100% not conversations they could have had in Book 2. It helps that they are both in their mid- to late-30s and like, they know who they are, and they are working very very hard to be better for each other. I'M SO PROUD OF THEM.

This is still on the romance part, but: also they genuinely LIKE each other. Like in Book 4 they have to go undercover at a couples' counseling retreat (for werewolves, obviously) and I'm like "How does anyone here think you guys are having relationship issues. You are BEST FRIENDS. Disgusting."

I specified that they are also procedurals because they are genuinely good mysteries! Sometimes when books combine genres it's sort of half romance and half mystery and not enough of either to be satisfying. These are ALL romance but they are also ALL mystery and Cooper is a very good detective. (Park is a pretty good detective but mostly he's great at biting people.)

They are extremely funny. Again, they like each other so much and this most often manifests in literally constant A+ banter. You know how I feel about banter!

The sex scenes are...chef's kiss. It's like Adhara was running down a list of my favorite tropes.

Anyway I HIGHLY recommend them and if you read them please come sit by me so we can talk about them thank you!!!

[joifee]

Ashes for @darubyprincx

once again, this time traditional with watercolors. not gonna lie, bit rusty with this medium but it turned out fine also i never drew a dragon head that close before so that was exciting, still have to draw more to improve in that regard.

I feel a bit bad i never managed to finish the story. It is sooo well written honestly and you should check it out. I also appreciate the warnings put by keys on serveral chapters. The story does discuss some topics I personally have problems reading so i was very thankful for this to have a warning before reading or being able to skip things. i will finish the story eventually; just currently not in the right headspace to read about some of its topics. But thats okay, i have time :D

I hope you like it keys, had fun drawing this for you. Keep on writing (and drawing!) cool stuff :D

last fanart for at least the rest of the week i need to take a break

[silkjade]

i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….

[fierrochase-falafel]

A 'The Lightning Thief' Musical Appreciation Post (and recommending a documentary-of-sorts)

Message to all you TLT: The Musical fans out there! Just watched the new documentary-of-sorts by Wait in the Wings about the production of TLT and its journey through from small 1-hour play for middle schools to (still underrated) Broadway production, and I cannot recommend it enough! It has interview excerpts from Joe Tracz, Rob Rokicki, Stephen Brackett and Kristin Stokes as well, and both Kristin Stokes and Chris McCarrell have praised it if that helps your expectations.

Always nice to see this musical appreciated online and elsewhere, in all its camp glory. To all the TLT musical fans out there who have also been here and treasured this show and the community surrounding it, perhaps the real lightning thief was the friends we made along the way. Always glad to have found this community :)

Quick message for Percy Jackson fans that haven't seen the musical yet: Well, you might be wondering what to do after you've watched the TV series and boy do I have the content for you. This is a great musical for anyone whose a fan of the books; having borne the brunt of negative expectations after the unspeakable movies came out, this musical still captured people with its fun charm and emotional core for good reason. The soundtrack is out everywhere pretty much, it might not be your kind of media but I'd still give it a shot (particularly if you're into musicals)! I know I haven't gone into much detail here about why this musical works, although I'd like to say more someday; if you want more information, plenty of people on Tumblr have said things about it and the video above does go into why this musical is/was so loved by fans of it. For now I'll just say that it is very genuine and heartwarming, taking the emotional core of the Lightning Thief novel and adapting it for the stage in a way that commemorates and stays true to the novel (even with references to the rest of the novels in there, such as a Bianca di Angelo cameo in the Lotus Casino!).

Anyways, quick post here, just another reminder to always appreciate the TLT musical. Cheers!

[weezerlvr228]

rivers if he was absorbed by poisonous gas but didn’t care too much

[landgraabbed]

sometimes you gotta take in the lil details

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

btw not to be a disabled poor piss baby but the way ppl (SPECIALLY americans) treat struggling to recall things deemed common sense that you learned in school/straight up not knowing them as some personal moral failure is fucking weird lmao.every education system has a problem w failing disabled kids that cant follow along typical learning by just letting them fall behind w zero ways to catch up n my country has an issue w teenagers dropping out to support their families so they dont starve to death so it just rlyyy doesnt sit right w me when ppl claim if you cant remember some random fuck middle school class fact youre an idiot that doesnt remember bc you dont want to.i dont know how to explain to you all if a CHILD is being failed by adults to be taught smth its literally not their fault specially when in nearly all cases its bc of outside factors (i mentioned disability n poverty here but lets not forget stuff like abused kids being unable to focus due to stress or bc they lack a safe environment to study at home, for example)

idk ig my point is not everyone had a great home life w a stable financial situation n zero genetic conditions that let them get head pats from adults for being good at memorizing books, n its weird af to want to be superior than ppl who didnt have those bc its literally not our fault that as CHILDREN we were failed by adults n nowadays only managed (at BEST scenario, remember lots of ppl nowadays still cant even read bc they didnt even get the chance to do elementary) to remember actual essential basics that let us get by n not high school physics trivia.also if all those things r suuuuch big common sense idk why yall want to feel better than us for knowing them, by your own reasoning theyre completely worthless knowledge everyone has, no point in showing off you know smth like that, but ig at the end of the day its all abt feeling special for having success handed to you in a silver plate compared to the losers not born as lucky

[drawotion]

This is Remu, our sweet pup who was put to sleep today, 8th of April 2024... The procedure went smoothly, he almost got to the age of full 11 years. This summer it would have been his 11th birthday.

In memory of him, let me tell you about how our little rascal was like. This is going to be a long post so buckle up. I'll put more pics in at the end.

He was a rescue dog, he came to me and my mom through my oldest big brother around year 2018. He was around 5 years old back then and he was born during summer, what I heard from my brother is that the pup was super skinny when he first got Remu.

Remu was an absolute lap dog, he loved being on our laps and in our holds. Loved sleeping next to us. ((He was like little heater! Very warm hahahh)) Sometimes when we would do stuff around the house he had to be with us on the thing!

For example if I was sitting on the floor and moving plants to new pots or I was cleaning my pet bugs little habitats, it was guaranteed he would be on my lap. And he would always be listening what we're doing.

Oh he was one stubborn and clever fella, there is a reason why I call him a rascal! Of course in the most loving way possible. He was like a big dog in small dog's body. His barks were LOUD.

He wasn't that trusting at first and god forbid if you touched his paws and tried to bath him, or even reached out to him in certain way! Face was off limits. So it was heartwarming how over time he came to trust me. So much so I could do almost anything with him, it got to the point where he let me even rub my finger between his eyes and wipe his cute little snoot if there was something.

Oh any visitor would still get bunch of barks and growls! Never biting tho, but he would let you know that hey, this is his turf! His home! Would even start barking even if he heard my younger old brother through phone. (He still got onto brother's lap and all, pfft) It was kind of silly to see how little mohawk would rise on his back.

Like a true summer dog, he loved basking under the warm & hot sun. I think his belly even got tanned because of this. (Oh Remu, you silly.)

And goodness did he love to run when able to during our walks.

Gosh, let me tell you, whenever he would greet another dog his ears got so high up it looked like he had bunny ears! Adorable.

And his adorable little hop running when inside... It's a shame I never got it on video, but it was silly fun and cute thing he did.

Oh he would do this thing though where he would whine and paw at bed/floor as if he wouldn't be able to get off our beds! (mattresses on the floor btw.) He was fully capable of getting off and all, he just decided to turn dramatic if we were observing him.

Another dramatic thing he did was flip over a bowl when asking for food. Even start rolling up the blanket on his own bed and oh, so vocal. He was a vocal pup.

He never seemed that interested in toys, only playing with them when we prompted him and played with him with them. Eventually his favorite type of play would turn out to be chasing hand under the blanket and and also digging at our blankets while I scratch his head.

Hahh, he sometimes would playfully try to get at our feet, mostly during feeding time. Such a silly pupper.

All in all, he was a lovable silly rascal and one heck of a cuddly dog.

I'll forever miss him, and I am happy he was in our lives, even if I was hesitant to take him in at first. I am so thankful I was able to be there with him and for him on his last moments, when I wasn't able to for our previous pet so many years ago.

Now... May you run a lot, buddy. Run lots and lots… To your heart's content. Get all the treats you so love, till your belly is full.

I love you, Remu.

[ragnars-tooth]

One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)

Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go

This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.

[nomairuins]

loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

I know you all know by default how much I love this conversation, but in RD at least, a lot of characters fall out of relevancy after a certain point (whereas in PoR you could argue that having full supports prevents this). Shinon is one of the only side characters who doesn't really do this, having three base conversations throughout part three (which is pretty fucking good considering several of the chapters aren't even with the Greil Mercenaries).

Back in PoR, Shinon asks for praise/gratitude. Expects it. By this point he doesn't want it anymore. He didn't want it when he was selling bows for emergency income (which Rolf took up as well) and he doesn't want it here either. His personality has chilled out so much from being a hothead and he's much more expressive of his actual feelings (even if you compare his standard death quotes in both games, he's much more emotionally expressive in RD).

A lot of characters - most honestly, including even the GMs (barring Boyd if he A supports Mist which gives him more content and expresses a whole lot of maturity compared to PoR Boyd) tend to drop off in development. They might stick around (ex. PoR puts all the major groups in the spotlight until the next group shows up and goes through all of them), but the development eventually stagnates outside of supports (including in base conversations, which this one is such).

Since RD doesn't get supports with full conversations, you only get snippets of development/characterization through them, while the base conversations may offer insight into the characters and show you how they've changed over the years but don't truly develop them. Shinon is a very lucky situation for his character because he keeps returning in both games, and it helps develop him across both games with a full timeline (similar to Naesala, who has a fully fleshed out story and personality development over both games and never stops dead at any point in the pair of games).

In PoR Shinon was distant and selectively a bit cold (Greil, Rolf and Gatrie excluded from that, and Mist to an extent as well). RD gives the impression that he just... doesn't care about all that anymore. He's fine where he is and has learned he can live with these people and not have to expect betrayal. He doesn't have to anticipate being on his own ever again. There's no real reason for him to keep up the walls and barriers to protect himself, and he's not living just to survive anymore.

Most times when I end up loving a character it's because of the content given to me and what have I to work with, rather than loving a character and searching for things to love. I fully expect that that's why I finally, after years of being unable to decide who my Tellius favorite was because I loved several of them too dearly to decide, found myself able to settle on Shinon.

When I got older and gave it more thought, considering all the development and traits of each of them and how responsive I was to them, one day I asked myself, well okay, what if someone asked you who your favorite was? What if you still did love the same ones as your number one, all of them, but could only give one name quick and simple? Who would you pick? The first name that instantly hit me was Shinon. That was enough for me to decide okay, there's a reason he's the first person who instantly came to me if I had to truly settle on one. I hadn't quite figured it out yet, but I knew there was a reason that if I had to pick a single standout, it would be him.

A lot of it harkens back to this conversation. It is development in and of itself, and also very expressive of who he is. The fact that he also doesn't fall off in conversations and is more recurring than not also gives me more to examine about him and more to think about. It puts him in a more likely position to think about him and who he is than I would for characters the writers didn't really bother developing (including other recurring characters like Marcia, who keep coming back in both games similar to Shinon, but see no development as a person - unfortunately in her case, in either game).

He has a very rich, detailed and unforgotten-by-the-writers character and one whose story ends on a very high note. I say "ends" in the sense of main story/base content, but it technically continues if he's taken to the Tower and gains the ability to A support various other characters who he otherwise could not support or could only reach a B support with, such as Sanaki, Tibarn, etc. This conversation is like an accumulation of his growth between both games, including the subtle things you can only pick up on through actions/other character lines.

Ike says he (everyone, which includes Shinon) chose to stay with them when he told everyone who their next employer was/what they'd be doing/etc, and Ike gave him and Soren an out if they weren't comfortable with it. They weren't all forced to go. That says by itself that Shinon made that choice on his own. He chose to stay with them when he was not yet totally comfortable with laguz and was still working on that part of himself (the fact that he uses the term "laguz" at all is already a huge step up from where he leaves off on his A support with Janaff, which did not leave off poorly at all).

Last time Shinon was uncomfortable with something in the Greil Mercenaries, he made the choice to leave. When he did come back, he was not exclusively surrounded by only the GMs and otherwise, purely laguz (which prior to meeting Janaff I would argue he was not ready for at all at the time). Here, he was, and he still made the choice to stay with them knowing exactly what his situation would look like.

Another thing worth considering is how much of a hothead Shinon was in PoR, but he still took Rolf on as a student. While I'm not sure exactly how accurate Mist's statement is about "forcing" Rhys to teach her (it's possible she was pushy about it because he didn't want to, such as because it might mean she might end up on the battlefield), we do know Rolf wanted to learn and was accepted.

We can easily infer through their conversations that Shinon would rather teach him to survive and have a safety net rather than worry about him being on a battlefield. Shinon saw that he was motivated to learn and, regardless of the fact that he was still in survival mode himself and not of the mind of "I'll be with these people forever and want to help them", taught him while apparently having told him "things like this happen" with mercenaries (i.e. different employers, separation, etc). If they ended up on opposite sides but Rolf could wield a weapon, that could endanger him, but he does it anyway. His priority is always survival, but it's also the survival of children and anyone he cares about. He also dies begrudgingly in his PoR death quote, which is completely opposite of his death quote against Rolf.

Another thing for me: he's also very confident and aware of his capabilities as a marksman. He knows what he's worth and at this point, he no longer brags about it (he used to all the time in PoR). He sees no reason to have to prop himself up. There's no insecurity in him that makes him feel the need to try to be open about being better than anyone else. He knows and accepts what he's worth without feeling the need to tell people about it.

If someone asked him what he thought of himself/his own worth, yeah, he'd admit his skill and capability without being too humble, but he also wouldn't go overboard with it or say it during instances that don't really warrant it (basically, if absolutely nobody asked, he'd say it anyway in PoR. In RD he doesn't really seem to give a shit anymore about letting the whole world know how good he is). He's lost the whole pick me, look at me sort of attitude. Imo it's also due to a higher amount of respect he has for himself now, and a much healthier one. He doesn't care about being the best anymore (he'd be perfectly happy if Rolf was instead) and is just satisfied knowing his skill on his own. He's satisfied not being alive just to survive, but to be with this mercenary group and actually able to live.

As a side note, we never actually see him having drunk or in the middle of drinking in RD, so... it's also likely he's worked on his possible PoR drinking issue too!

All in all, he's just one of the few non-main characters who came a whole long way with a full story. He feels very different in RD, but not so much that he feels like a different character entirely. For me, I can feel the growth in who he is, and that to me is an excellent handling of a character. When I can feel how different they are from beginning to end, I can feel the intent of character growth behind it. I can't tell you with certainty that the writers took a liking to him and so biasly kept sticking in dialogue for him (and singlehandedly made him one of the solidly best units in RD, for that matter...), but he's definitely repeatedly present and has hefty, story/backstory littered implications.

His dialogue feels meaningful to his own personal story in all his conversations. In other words, he doesn't have a conversation that feels devoid of meaning. It comes across more as all of his content exists for a reason/has meaning behind it. There's no wasted dialogue with him. When he's there, it means something for his character (comparatively to other side characters who may have lengthy conversations but you walk away having gotten nothing out of it, be that in PoR and/or RD).

He has fewer supports than most of the cast in PoR, but every single one had some kind of direction to it. Even if you look at his C support with Janaff and go "well that's just classic early PoR Shinon", the point of that is exactly that: that he starts out who we recognize and develops from there. That support alone goes from that to a lot of growth in three conversations, and beneficially so on both sides.

Simply put, he has more content the average Tellius character (including all of his boss quotes in chapter 18), and everything leads up to who he is by this conversation. It's a full story for a side character, later including personalized support dialogue for A supports, and he just happens to exhibit a lot of growth and traits that I already lean toward (hence why he was in my top spot all along, just tied with others. Now he's not tied with others and has the top spot to himself!).

I think it's likely it's the fact that as mentioned, none of his conversations are throwaway conversations. You never walk away from his conversations having gotten nothing (I mean, I'm sure people who refuse to see it don't notice precisely because they are willing themselves to refuse to see it to find excuses to keep hating him). Even in his first RD base conversation, the fact that he acts as you'd expect but drops a "laguz" in there is already a hint for his growth direction on top of being there at all. It's really just up from there, as is the case with all his content.

I tend to lean toward characters with a whole fountain of insightful conversations and depth, and in FE games you often don't find those characters outside of the mains. While I'd argue Tellius is a lot less tropey than modern FE (there were some tropey types like Makalov and Ilyana whose characters are basically nothing without their tropes), a lot of its side characters are still reduced to very surface level characterization with no real growth.

Shinon was very lucky to get as much as he did, and I'd say he has just as much if not more personal depth and lore than even some of the mains themselves. Imo he's a very lucky and rare find in FE games, when there are so many goddamn characters that the writers can't flesh them all out (reasonably of course, but it makes it even more special when it happens for non mains). Even with the Fodlan games and all its content, a lot if not most of its characters are full on tropes with little to nothing in the way of anything else. Engage suffers from it too, with a few diamonds in the rough and not much else.

That's not to say I hate the games or their characters, because obviously I would not still be playing new titles to the franchise if I hated it. I'm saying it makes the ones with as much depth as Shinon a gold mine to be found amidst a very large cast of characters that don't usually get that treatment.

anyway i will always talk abt shinon more when able so this is Not The End but i will end this post here lest it turns into another 20+ paragraphs.

[pup-pee]

my father telling me how scared he was when i ran away from the house but i cant express how scared i was 2 b in the house

hey, whats up w/that?