#but the only way for me to know for sure is feedback

[harryspet]

rough hands, soft chains [1] r.cameron

[warnings] dark!grey!rancher!rafe x bimbo!cowgirl!reader, arranged marriage, rancher au, manipulation, size difference, future smut, little editing, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+

A/N: This is an au I'm trying out where Kildare County is actually in Montana and all the pogues and kooks exist within a ranching community. Hope you enjoy!! I would really appreciate feedback, reblogs are most appreciated!

In which your dying father struck a deal with Ward Cameron, he promised the family land in exchange for your safety. But protection comes with a price, and that price is Rafe Cameron.

word count: 5k

rafe cameron masterlist

After the funeral, you flopped down on the old leather couch in your living room, absently twirling a lock of your hair as you stared up at the cracked ceiling. Your black dress, meant for the sweltering summers, fell just below your knees. You’d paired it with a shawl you found tucked away in your mother’s dresser, a pretty, soft thing with little patterns you didn’t understand, but it smelled like her, so it felt right.

People at the funeral said you looked “so grown up” now, which filled you with a sense of pride. They said nothing about the dirt under your nails from wandering around the yard barefoot earlier that morning or the way your mascara smeared from crying too much. No one ever took you seriously anyway. 

The quiet of the house was deafening, pressing in at you at all sides. The lack of his presence weighed on you. He’d built every corner of this house, your mother painted every wall, and you were grateful for the life they’d built you. Three bedrooms, a wrap-around porch where you’d once dreamed of watching your children play in the yard as you rocked in your chair, and the old, red barn that had weathered time alongside them. You knew you couldn’t lose it, but you weren’t sure how to keep it either.

A loud knock at the front door made the house shake and snapped you from your daze. It was not the knock of a kind neigbor delivering a sympathy caserole, the knock was firm and authoritative. You half expected the sheriff to be behind the door but instead found yourself staring back at Ward Cameron. 

You pushed back the curls that had fallen into your face. He stood before you, tipping his finest black cattleman hat with deliberate grace, lifting it from his head and placing it over his chest in a quiet gesture of respect. His square jawline was sharp, his striking blue eyes unflinching, and though the gray streaks in his hair hinted at age, they only added to his rugged handomenss. 

“Miss,” he greeted you smoothly, his voice as sharp as the crease in his shirt. He looked out of place here, too clean, too polished for the worn edges of your family’s ranch.

Your anxiety peaked, “Uh, hi. Can I help you?” You gripped the handle of the door tighter than you expected. 

“I think you know why I’m here.” His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s time we talked about your father’s arrangements.”

Arrangements? You shifted nervously, trying to make sense of his words. You knew your dad had debts, but it wasn’t like he told you all the details. You knew that a significant amount of your father’s debt was to Ward. It humiliated your father to lease the Cameron’s grazing rights but he only did it to keep the ranch afloat. Money and paperwork were never your thing, and your dad always said not to worry about it. “I—I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. I’ll figure out how to pay you back, okay?”

Although Ward wasn’t the tallest man, most people towered over you, and as he leaned in the doorway, you knew he had your stature in mind. 

Still, his smile was empty, “Why don’t we discuss this in your father’s office, hmm?” 

“Um, no thanks,” you said quickly, shaking your head. But before you could shut the door, his hand pushed it open with way too much ease. You stumbled back, your cheeks heating with embarrassment as he walked in like he owned the place.

“Excuse me! You can’t just barge in here!” you squeaked, hurrying after him, his expensive boots, tapping against the creaking floor of your home. 

He made his way down the downstairs hallway, barging into the room that not even your father wanted you to step in. Immediately as you stepping inside, a coldness touched you. he heavy oak desk sat like a monument to your father’s stubbornness, papers scattered across its surface in disarray. Just looking at it made your brain feel fuzzy. Ward moved behind it as if it were his own, his hands brushing against the chair’s worn leather.

“I offered to come speak to you, before all of this drama, but your father insisted I wait until he was gone,” Ward gestured to rickety chair that sat in front of the desk, “Sit.”

You ignored him, crossing your arms in stubborness, “What are you talking about?”

“Do you know how much exactly your father owes me? How much you’d be taking on?”

His words, like they had certainly intended to, made you feel stupid. Your father made sure you were uninvolved in the ranch’s finances and he had just passed this week, you hadn’t thought about entering his office and disturbing his things. 

You blinked, your mouth opening and closing. “Well… um… I know he owed some money, but he didn’t really tell me how much.”

“It’s more than the farm is worth, Y/N.”

The weight of his words settled heavily between you, thickening the already suffocating air in the room. You clenched your jaw, refusing to show any sign of the panic tightening in your chest. The farm, your father’s legacy, your mother’s dreams, was supposed to be yours to save.

“That can’t be right,” you said, though your voice wavered slightly. “My father would’ve told me if it was that bad.”

“Would he? It’s nothing you should’ve worried your pretty head about,” Ward continued, his eyes sharp and assessing, “We parents try to protect our children. But he was too prideful. Pride doesn’t pay the bills and banks don’t wait forever.”

“The bank–”

“The bank would’ve taken the entire property if your father hadn’t already signed the land over to me.”

Your heart sunk into your stomach at Ward Cameron’s words. Your breath hitched as you stared at him, trying to process what he’d just said. You shook your head in disbelief, “He wouldn’t do that.”

The land was the only piece of your father that you had left. A hundred acres that your family and only a few ranch hands tended to.There were dwindling amounts of livestock, mounting debts, but it was your home. Humble in comparison to the Cameron’s thousands of acres but it belonged to your family. Even if you were the only one left. 

“This all would’ve been easier for you if your father had explained all of this to you before. I think he was scared of you hating him.”

“I don’t understand.”

Ward’s expression didn’t falter. If anything, he looked almost bored with your responses, “We came to an agreement a year after his initial diagnosis. Instead of losing it to the bank, he would sign it over to me.”

“I promised to take care of you.” Ward’s words were slow, deliberate, as if he were explaining something to a child. “You’re unmarried, no prospects, and this place is a sinking ship. Someone was bound to take advantage of you eventually. You don’t have the resources to rebuild.”

“T-take care of me?” you stammered, your face scrunching in confusion.

“You’ll come live with my family for the time being. And eventually you will marry my son, Rafe.”

Your eyes went wild, “Are you crazy?”

Ward’s expression didn’t change. If anything, he looked even more smug. “This arrangement keeps the land in the family, ensures your safety, and gives you a future. You’re not equipped to handle this ranch on your own, Y/N. Your father knew that. I’m offering you a way out.”

You gaped at him, your thoughts spinning too fast to make sense of anything. “I… I want to talk to a lawyer or—or see his will or something!”

“You’re out of options. It’s either this arrangement or being out on the streets. I’m tossing you a lifeline.” 

 “I didn’t agree to this,” you said, your voice shaking with a mixture of anger and disbelief.

“No,” Ward admitted, standing and adjusting his cuffs. “But your father did. And a Cameron always honors their agreements.”

You wanted to scream, to tell him to leave and take his deal with him, but the weight of your father’s decisions pressed down on you. The debts, the ranch, your future—it was all tangled up in a web you couldn’t escape.

“I’ll give you until tomorrow to pack your things,” Ward said, placing his hat back on his head. “Rafe will come by to collect you.”

He turned and walked to the door without another word, leaving you standing alone in the office. The walls seemed to close in around you, and although you’d be crying for a week, you cried again. 

You thought that if you weren’t at the house when Ward’s oldest son came to collect you, they might just give up and leave you be. Maybe you’d slip through the cracks of their plans, vanish into the quiet of the countryside. You could disappear for a little while and return in a few days. It would be rough surviving outside but you could make it on your own. You’d packed a small bag of essentials and took Juliet, the chestnut-colored mare that had belonged to you since your fourteenth birthday.

“Okay, Jules, we’re gonna go on a little adventure,” you whispered as you fumbled with her saddle. 

Her large, liquid-brown eyes blinked at you with trust as you led her down the south path, the one behind your family’s ranch, overgrown from years of neglect. You left before the sun had a chance to rise. You didn’t want Ward Cameron or his scary son to find you, after all.

You tried to dress for comfort. Your long jeans would keep you warm, and you layered a jean jacket over a soft white cotton shirt. Perched atop your head was your trusty white cowboy hat, its wide brim offering protection from the sun, taming your unruly curls, while keeping your face shielded.

Juliet made a snorting sound, and you patted her neck. “Don’t worry, girl, we’ve totally got this. Like, what’s the worst that could happen?” You glanced back at the ranch, its dark outline fading behind the trees. 

You mounted Juliet after deciding the direction you were going to travel in. You wanted to be much farther away by the time the sun came up. The air was cool and crisp, a reminder of the coming morning. You looked behind you although you were sure no one was following you yet. 

The path twisted and turned. “Okay, so if we head toward the old fishing shack by the river, we can stay there for, like, a day. Nobody’s used it in forever.” You spoke out loud, pretending that Juliet could respond. “I think it’s... that way.”

You continued down the path in the direction you remembered the fishing shack to be located. The sun rose slowly, bringing light to the dark path. The shack was tucked away on the outskirts of the ranch, sitting in the bend of the river, most of it shielded by tall grass. The water flowed gently, the sound caressing your ears, it’s hues reflecting the red in the sky. 

A clearing sat nearby covered in wildflowers, the bright colors splashed against the muted landscape. You hadn’t ventured this far out since the previous spring and were surprised to see how the flowers had held their vibrancy, defying the chill of the cooler months. 

You hopped down from your saddle, taking Juliet’s rein before you tied her to a nearby tree, allowing her room to graze. The shack was small and weathered, and you rested on a rickety cot that you had to clear of cobwebs. It felt safe. At least for now. 

If only staying still was your strong suit. A few hours later, boredom quickly got the best of you. You could only talk to Juliet for so long and you’d failed several times to nap inside the dirty shack. The silence pressed in on you. You decided to wander out into the wild flower fields, tugging your cowboy hat low over your curls. The vibrant colors were calling to you. 

An hour later, you held a thick bundle flowers in your arm and a crown of daisies wrapped around your hat. Before you knew it, the shack was almost out of your sight and you faced a long trek back to Juliet. 

You didn’t hear him at first.

“Hell of a hiding spot.”

The deep drawl froze you in place. Slowly, you turned, heart pounding, your eyes landing on Rafe Cameron sitting tall on his horse a few yards away. His blue eyes sparkled with amusement, though the tight line of his jaw hinted at something darker.

Rafe’s quarter horse was even more intimidating. It’s coat was midnight black, sleek and imposing. There was a wild, untamed quality to him, a fire in his eyes that mirrored Rafe’s own.

“I… I was just…” You stepped back without thinking, the urge to drop your bouquet and bolt creeping up. You’d seen Ward’s son from across a room before, but no one had ever bothered to introduce you. Still, you knew enough from the whispers and rumors. He was wild, always getting into trouble with the Kildare County police, and everyone said he was gonna take over his dad’s power and influence one day. 

He was older than you remembered, more rugged, and definitely more muscular. His black button-up shirt clung to broad shoulder and his sleeves rolled up to reveal sculpted arms. A baseball cap sat atop his head, the bill slightly bent, with the Cameron Ranch sigil stitched on the front—an emblem of a stallion rearing. His light brown hair peeked from beneath it, slightly tousled. 

“You’ve been wandering around all morning. Half the town’s already seen you,” Rafe leaned forward slightly, eyeing you curiously, “If you were gonna run, thought you’d go a little bit farther.” You gained the courage to finish your sentence, “I wasn’t running …or hiding. And you can’t tell Mr. Cameron that.”

“Why do you think he sent me?” He smiled devishly, “I’m the one you gotta worry about, darlin’.” 

Your lips parted in shock and Rafe watched you take another step back. His jaw clicked before he swiftly hopped down from his horse. His heavy boots hit the dirt with a thud that seemed to echo, and you couldn’t help but notice the sheer size of him. Though he wasn’t much older than you, it was clear he towered over you, his presence demanding attention in a way that made your knees feel weak.

“I’m not coming with you,” You stated with all the strength you could muster, “It’s not right. You can’t make me.”

He stared back at you. Where Ward was bored by conversation with you, something about your Ward’s made Rafe’s eyes fiery, “And I guess you’ll make your living by what … selling flower crowns?” 

Your eyebrows furrowed. You hadn’t considered that an option. In fact, you hadn’t dwelled long enough on what you would do once Ward gave up on this arranged marriage nor did you have any idea of how to make the ranch profitable again. The idea seemed wrong. Flowers weren’t the key, were they? 

“I’m kidding,” Rafe spoke again after a moment of watching you reflect, “That’s a bad fucking idea. You know…I think your father might’ve been right about one thing in his life. You do need someone to look after you.” 

“You don’t know me,” You looked away, your face heating up with embarrassment, “And I don’t want to go with you.” 

A yelp escaped your lips as he started to close the distance between you, his long strides closing the gap in a matter of seconds. His smirk widened at your reaction, and quickly, you dropped your bouquet and made a run for the fishing shack. Rough hands easily snatched you up by your waist, lifting your feet off the ground, and making your head spin, “You’re real cute, darlin’,” Rafe drawled, hardly breakin a sweat as he dragged you back towards his horse. His grip on your waist was firm, unrelenting, and no matter how much you kicked or squirmed, it didn’t matter. He only hoisted you higher. 

Heavy boots crunched against the dirt. You could hear your breathing and the sharp pounding of your heart in your ears. You lost your hat and subsequently your flower crown in the struggle. Scared that you might spook Rafe’s horse, you found yourself succumbing to his force, letting him lift you onto the saddle. 

“Please, let me down,” You whispered, tears beginning to fall. Rafe was next, hoisting himself onto the black stallion, squeezing himself behind you. You were pressed against him so much that you could feel the flexing of the muscles of his stomach. An arm wrapped tightly around your waist. 

Rafe shushed you, and surprisingly, you felt him settle your hat back on your head. You hadn’t even seen him pick it up. You were never supposed to ride without a hat, that’s what your father had taught you. You barely had time to process it before he urged the horse forward, the powerful animal's hooves pounding the earth beneath you as Rafe held you tightly, “M-My horse, Juliet!” You remembered, panicked, “I won’t go without her, Rafe!”

“I didn’t forget your horse,” He spoke calmer than you expected, though his tone still had an edge to it, “She’ll follow. Unlike you, she seems to have a decent amount of common sense.” 

He kicked the horse into a gallop, the powerful animal responding instantly, the sound of its hooves hitting the ground like thunder in the otherwise still air. The wind whipped through your hair, stinging your face. You gripped the saddle tightly, to anchor yourself, despite knowing that Rafe’s grip was strong enough to keep you from flying. 

This wasn’t the escape you wanted. Not even close. 

Sure, he’d heard the rumors that you were a little …daft. And maybe that was true in some ways, but you were more than he had anticipated. He followed you, watched as you handled the horse with ease, and found himself intrigued. Your confusion, innocence, even your stubbornness drew him in like a moth to a flame. 

The last thing Rafe wanted was a wife. He resisted the way his father felt like he could stll make decisions for him. Rafe was losing with this arrangement. Your father’s hundred acres was nothing in comparison to what he family already had and would acquire. But perhaps his father had seen exactly what Rafe was seeing now. You were raw, so unpolished, and that meant you could be shaped. 

Once you were under the Cameron’s roof, Rafe had the power to do whatever he wanted. 

Proving himself to Ward was a constant battle, every choice scrutinized, every misstep noted. To run the ranch one day, Rafe needed to show he could manage it all, the land, business, and now a wife. Building a home and keeping you in line was just another test.

That morning, Rafe had never expected to chase after you on horseback. He had arrived in his truck, scouring the house for any sign of you, only to realize you were already gone. In frustration, he called John B., one of the Cameron ranch hands, and sent him to bring Trigger, his horse, to the Y/L/N ranch.

When you both returned, John B. was already there, waiting. Thunder cracked above, a sunny morning turning into a dreary afternoon. Rafe barked orders to ensure Juliet and Trigger were both stabled at the Cameron’s ranch.

He lifted you down from the saddle, his grip firm on your wrists before you could bolt. It only took a second for him to realize the urgency in your voice as you spoke, trying to talk to John B., who was already taking Juliet and Trigger’s reins. “She gets nervous when she’s in new places. She doesn’t like to be rushed,” Rafe overheard, catching the panic in your tone.

“Yes, ma’am. Don’t worry, I’ll take it slow with her,” John B. assured her although Rafe only glared at the worker, jaw tight. 

“Come on,” Rafe pulled your arm, “We’re leaving.”

Your small hands grabbed where he’d wrapped his hands around your arm. You dug your boots into the gravel in front of the house, “Wait, I don’t have everything. I-I need to grab some things,” Rafe’s gripped only tightened as his irritation grew. 

“You should’ve thought about that before you made me chase after you,” He took one more look at your teary-face before he snapped. Taking you home should’ve taken thirty minutes, not four hours. Without warning, he scooped you up over his shoulder, ignoring the surprised gasp you let out. 

Your legs kicked in the air, “Hey! Please put me down!” Rafe didn’t spare your house on John B. a second glance as he trudged over to his dark, blue truck. Please, that made Rafe brow furrow. Rafe took the opportunity to cop a feel, of course, he had to know exactly what he was working with. You were his future wife, after all, “Rafe! I don’t like being upside down!” 

“Scream all the way there for all I fucking care,” He muttered under his breath, his voice cold as he finally reached the truck and tossed you into the passenger seat.

Rafe sped off moments after he pressed start engine on the vehicle. You went quiet and he hoped to be alone with his thoughts, soothed by the soft pitter patter of rain on his windshield. Fifteen minutes down the road, he heard your breath hitch. He looked over to see you were staring straight head, eyes wide and wet with tears. Smudged mascara beneath your eyes. Your chest rose and fell rapidly and you clutched your hands tightly in your lap. Your lips were shaking, moving as if you were whispering something to yourself. 

Your legs began to jitter, restless, and Rafe looked away. He managed to tune out your obvious panic for nearly an entire minute. He had a rare feeling. One he didn’t fully understanding. The angel on his shoulder was telling him to reach out, to try and comfort you. He thought about what Wheezie might think if this was the disheveled state he brought his future wife to meet her in. He let out a quiet sigh, knowing it was only going to get worse as the reality of your situation set in.

“Hey,” He spoke without that sharp edge, channeling a voice he might use with his youngest sister, “I didn’t mean you’d never get your things. We can come back, when you’re more settled …And I’ll send someone to get all your keepsakes. Okay?” 

“Okay, okay, okay,” You repeated though your voice sounded empty, “Okay.”

He thought those would be the magic words but you hadn’t even turned to look at him. You were doing the same thing, shaking like a leaf, barely taking in enough breath, “Fuck,” Rafe cursed. He pulled over to the side of the road with a sharp jerk, the gravel crunching under the tires as the truck slowed to a stop. Without thinking, he shifted into park and turned to you.

Rafe needed to be more deliberate in his actions. He had eyes on him, his entire immediate family, and he wouldn’t have them thinking he couldn’t handle you. 

He tried to calm you, squeezed your hand, told you to breathe over and over again. Nothing. You were spiraling, letting your thoughts consume you. Rafe had been too rough. It was all too much too fast for you. He wanted to mold you, not break you. 

He leaned in, taking your face in his hands, and pressing his lips to yours. You went frantic but he only deepened the kiss. He held your hand and slowly felt your tension lesson. He entwined his fingers in yours and slowly felt you move your own lips against his. You tasted like cherries, dark red, and perfectly ripe. His hands moved to the back of your neck, his fingers pressing lightly, urging you to focus, to let go of the panic.

He pulled away only when you stopped your heaving. 

“You’re okay,” he murmured, his voice low and steady. “You’re okay now. Breathe with me.”

He waited for you to come back to him, cradling you there. You had no one left, Rafe realized in that moment, the truth settling heavily in his chest. And maybe that was why he couldn’t bring himself to be cruel. 

No, taking care of you wasn’t just an obligation, it was an important responsibility. One he’d shoulder completely. Whether you liked it or not, Rafe would make sure of it.

Rafe Cameron tasted like whiskey, with a faint hint of mint that lingered now even as you stood in the foyer of your new home, Tannyhill Ranch. The white house was sprawling and pristine, situated amidst of sea of green fields. Windows sparkled even in the storm that was coming down, and although the roof’s shingles were weathered, it was hard to believe the property had been there for more than a century. 

Workers, chefs and maids, bustled by but no one spared you or Rafe a glance despite the dry tears on your face and disheveled appearance. 

The interior was grand, the hardwoods polished until they shined, and the ceilings were higher than the ones at church. Everything screamed old money. You felt a hand on the small of your back, guiding you through the grand entrance hall and then up one side of a grand staircase. Portraits line the walls, serious faces, Camerons and previous owners of the estate. 

Their eyes watched you, “Rafe, where are we going?” You asked him quietly. 

“To your room,” He spoke low and firm. There hadn’t been any rough grabbing of your limbs or unwanted rides on Rafe’s shoulder since your kiss in the car. You hadn’t fully let you guard down but you preferred when Rafe was calm, and so you remained calm too, “You can settle in.”

Rafe led you down the upstairs hallway, stopping at one of at least six bedroom doors, and pushing it open. The room was breathtaking, a four-poster bed draaped in white linens, oak furniture, blue-white toile patterns, and large windows that overlooked the property. It was beautiful, yes, but none of this belonged to you. 

Your fingers absentmidnely traced the fabric of the bed’s comforter before you got a grip, turning around to say something in protest, “Don’t look at me like that,” Rafe interrupted, hands tucking into the front of jeans as if to give off a non-chalant appearance. The position emphasized the silvery belt buckle that sat on the middle of his waist. 

“I don’t want to live here,” You spoke softly, your voice still weak from all the crying. 

“I know,” Rafe continued, sounding exactly like his father, “Your father did though. You still love your Daddy, don’t you?” 

Rafe’s words made you think. Really think. Of course you loved your father. He was a smart man and he always did right by you and your Mother. However, deep down, this all still felt wrong. You stood there, caught between the beauty of the room and the unease of what you felt.

You nodded, “But–”

“But this is what he wanted, darlin’,” Rafe spoke in a way that carried a sense of finality. Rafe stepped closer and suddenly his body was a brick wall keeping you from leaving the room. His lips pulled into a smirk and he leaned down to speak in your ear, his breath fanning over your cheeks. Whiskey and mint, “You always did what your Daddy said, right?” 

“Yes,” You answered too honestly for your own good. 

“Now you’ll do what I say. That’s how it works. A young lady belongs to her father, and one day, after she grows up, she belongs to her husband,” He straightened up and you blinked your big eyes up at him. Slowly, your eyes traveled down to his lips, “You’ll thank me, one day.” 

Gently, he tucked a finger beneath your chin, lifting it even higher. You held your head exactly in the place he placed it, making something flicker in Rafe’s eyes. A heat bloomed in your core. You could only think about that kiss, your first one, despite the fact that he was one of the men completely ruining your life. 

“You ever seen someone break a wild horse?” 

His question caught you off guard, and your brows furrowed slightly as you searched his face for meaning. The smirk on his lips deepened, and his hand dropped from your chin.

“Takes patience. Takes strength. Takes knowing exactly when to push and when to pull back. But eventually, the horse figures out who’s in charge.” His blue eyes darkened, the intensity of his gaze pinning you in place, ”Out on the ranch, when we get a wild one. It’s my favorite thing to do. Watch em’ go from fighting you to starting to trust you. Really, there’s no point in fighting. The one’s who don’t submit, we don’t keep em’ around. They’re dangerous.”

“Oh,” You managed to say, shifting uncomfortably, “That sounds … hard.” 

Rafe chuckled in response, “Hard? Yeah, especially if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could, Rafe’s smirk returned, sharper now, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“You want me to kiss you again. I can tell.”

His words sent you stammering immediately, “No!” 

“Tell you what,” Rafe interrupted smoothly, ignoring your denial as if it hadn’t even registered. “If you settle in, get all dolled up for dinner…” His voice dripped with false generosity. “I’ll give you another one.”

You stared, dumbfounded and frozen until the young rancher casually turned and walked out of the room. Your fists clenched at your sides as a storm of emotions swirled inside you, anger and fear. One emotion simmered quietly beneath the surface, unwelcome and disorienting. Anticipation.

Reblog and let me know your thoughts to be added to the taglist!

[clxja16]

Not Actually Together

Charles Leclerc X Reader

Genre: faking dating au!

Warnings: none atm

Word Count: 1.4K

Author's Note: I have not written a part two for this, so idk when or if a part two will ever come out. other than that enjoy ;) <3 I also feel like this really stupid, please give any feedback

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“Hey, can I speak to you?” Charles questioned from across the room as he made his way towards you through the motorhome, “privately please.” 

“Of course,” you answered, following after Charles, going to his private suite.  After the two of you entered the room, shutting the door on the rest of the world, “what would you like to talk about?”  You smile sweetly as you ask Charles.  

Charles forgets for a moment what he wanted to ask, you smiled and he forgot how to breathe, let alone speak.  “What do you think of her?” Charles asked, still looking at you but, pushing his phone forward.  Showing you a picture of some girl, “her name is Alexandra.” 

“She’s pretty,” you answered, still smiling so sweetly at Charles, “Did she make a move on you?” 

 Charles looks back at the photo on his phone.  “Yeah she did,” Charles spoke hesitantly, cautiously looking back at you.  Looking for any sign of  ire.  

“Are you asking for my permission to go after her?” You question with a small chuckle, Charles was quite cute when he was nervous.   

“I…” Charles sighed, “I just wanted to know what your thoughts were.”  Charles looks at the picture of Alexandra on his phone in front of him.  She was certainly quite beautiful, she was most definitely his type.  Why does he have such an uneasy feeling though? 

“Charles, this is only for the public.  We’re not actually together, if you wanna go date her, then go, do it.  I’m not holding you to this fake relationship.” You said, with a bit of a laugh, trying to mask the tiny bit of heartbreak you were feeling.  Charles was never yours to begin with, there is no reason to pretend he is. 

“Are you sure?” Charles wanted you to stop him.  He wanted you to hold him to this relationship.  He wanted you to disapprove.  He wanted you to tell him no.  But he knew you wouldn’t do that to him.  You’re only going to do what you think makes him happy.  

“Charles, we’re only in this predicament because you don’t have the best track record when picking girls.  So the team picked me for you, that way your fans will actually like your girlfriend.  This is simply because the team wants it. This isn’t real, go ask Alex out.” You say it so casually, Charles loathes the way you push him towards Alexandra.  He wants you to fight, he wants you to be jealous, he wants you to want him.  

“Thank you…” Charles says looking back at the photo displayed on his phone.  He looks at Alexandra, and he thinks maybe it’s time to move on.  “For your permission, thank you,” Charles says grateful, he pulls you into a hug, kissing you on the temple.  

When you finally pull away from his embrace you say, “just don’t make me look like a fool.”  

Charles chuckles at the request, “what do you mean?” 

“Don’t be flaunting Alex all around,” you say, in a very serious tone.  You look at Charles squarely this time, you want him to understand you completely.   “I don’t mean to be cocky or egotistical, but I play a fucking good girlfriend to you for the public.  So don’t be flaunting Alex all around, making me look like the stupid little naive girl that everyone knows is getting cheated on.” 

Charles nods along, “I wouldn’t do that to you.”  He can’t imagine anyone wanting to cheat if they were with you, “I promise I won’t do that to you.” 

“Thank you,” you say earnestly.  Even if the intimate relationship wasn’t real, the respect and the friendship you and Charles have built, is authentic.  

“Why don’t you go out with someone too?” Charles asks, curious as to why in these past six months of faking a relationship you never brought up anyone.  

“Well there is this guy that I have a thing for,” you say honestly. 

“Why don’t we go on a double date, that way fans won’t get suspicious?” 

“No no,” you laugh at the request, “this guy has no feelings for me whatsoever.” 

“And how do you know that?” 

“We talked about it before,” you half-lie, you weren’t exactly fully truthful when you ‘talked about it.’ 

“Well, let’s look for someone, for you,” Charles says, completely serious about the notion.  Maybe if you’re with someone too, it would be easier to let you go. 

“No,” you laugh more, you don’t think you’ve ever heard such a ridiculous idea, “no way.” 

Charles laughs at your dismissiveness of the situation, “what about Pierre?” 

“I’m sure Pierre is very serious about Kika,” you say, with a bit of a chuckle at how serious Charles is acting about finding someone to set you up with.  

“Well I’m gonna find you someone, I can assure you,” Charles declares, almost like it was an official notion.  “I have to go down for a briefing, then I'll be back and we can go out to dinner tonight.” 

“Put on a show for the fans tonight?” you question, watching Charles. 

“Of course, my dear,” Charles says overdramatically with a wink, before walking out.  

After Charles leaves, you feel your smile fall.  You want to laugh at yourself for thinking Charles could have wanted you.  The tears start to brim your eyes and you can’t help but thinking you did this to yourself.  You allowed yourself to be in this predicament, so now you must live with it. Just until the season ends, that’s what you tell yourself.  Six more months, give or take.  

-

“Hey,” Carlos said, trying to get his teammates' attention, “why so…” Carlos makes an over exaggerated frowny face at Charles.  

“I don’t know,” Charles said, still replaying his earlier conversation with you.  He tries to find any sign of anything from you.  He dissects every word you utter, he questions every thought spoken, he searches for any inclination that you might’ve lied. 

“Did you speak to y/n about Alex?” 

“I did,” Charles answers, not expounding on his response.  

“She said no?” 

“No,” Charles says with a certain level of surprise, “She said okay.” 

“Great, that’s what you wanted,” Carlos says, “right?  That is what you wanted?”  Carlos has a feeling that this isn’t what Charles wanted, but it’s really not his place to say. 

“It is,” Charles sighs, “but I don’t know something about y/n being so okay with it, it bothers me.” Charles got up and started to pace, while Carlos decided to take a seat, watching his teammate work through this.  “Did you know there’s someone that she's interested in?”

“Y/n?” Carlos questions just to be sure, “don’t tell me that’s bothering you.” 

“No, it’s not,” Charles says, half trying to convince Carlos, the other half trying to convince himself.  “It’s just, y/n said that he’s not interested in her.  I mean how can someone not be interested in y/n, she's crazy smart.  She’s so kind. Did you know at this past Monaco grand prix, she helped collect gifts from the fans to give to me?  She knows how to cook, and not to mention she’s bloody beautiful.” Charles says with a full grin, as he thinks about you.  He can picture you clearly, he has memorized every little detail of your face, down to the way you scrunch your nose when you don’t want to laugh at his horrible jokes.  

Carlos laughs at his blind teammate, “clearly, you’re not really interested in Alex.” 

Charles sighs again, “I thought if I had brought up Alex to y/n, she would give me some type of sign that she was into me, like i’m into her,” he confesses to Carlos.  “I thought maybe, I could get a reaction or something,” Charles shakes his head at himself, he can hear how stupid he sounds without Carlos pointing it out for him.  

Carlos has never wanted to slap someone, as much as he wants to slap Charles.  Carlos runs his hands across his face, “that is the most singularly stupidest idea I have ever heard, and I have heard our race strategies before.  Why didn’t you just outright ask y/n if she liked you?” 

“I didn’t want to be so obvious about it,” Charles shrugs, “Plus it's better this way, she already said she’s interested in someone else.  Not to mention I have tried for the past six months to turn this into a real relationship, this is just me finally moving on.  I deserve to move on don’t I?” 

“Of course you deserve to move on Charles,” Carlos sighs, “but do you even want to move on, or do you think you have to?” 

Charles doesn’t respond, he doesn’t know how to respond even if he wanted to.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Meet the Family 9

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, reference to suicide and Lloyd being offensive, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your boss needs a last-minute favour for the holidays.(petite!reader)

Characters: Lloyd Hansen

Note: Thanks for all your patience.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

Migraines always leave you a bit foggy. Like a hangover, or even a concussion. You power through the airport, waiting in line with your mustachioed curse. Lloyd taps his toe incessantly, adding to the plethora of overstimulation all around you. This isn’t how you envisioned your holidays.  

It’s the 26th and you’re supposed to be on your way home, not catching the flight you booked for two days before. And alone. You’re supposed to be alone. 

You take your boarding pass and leave Lloyd’s for him to grab himself. He huffs and follows after you. He’s like a big dumb dog sometimes. It’s amazing that the realization only comes over you then. It’s pretty obvious when he’s not behind a desk growling like some mafioso. He’s no kingpin, he’s a clown. 

You drop into a seat, your carry-on beside you, and he claims the seat to your left. He’s on the edge, jiggling his leg. You could thank him for upgrading you both to first class but he’s the reason you’re even there. It’s the least he could do. 

You cross your arms and stare through the haze. The first-class lounge is quiet and softly lit. Isolated but for the pest next to you. He continues to fidget. Is he nervous? You didn’t think that was possible since he seems to lack any degree of self-awareness. 

“So, gimme the down low. You got a mom? Girl like you screams daddy issues. Is he still around?” 

You sigh. “Sure is.” 

“Wow, okay. Good guy? Strict? Shit, knowing you, he must be a hard ass,” he scoffs. “Should I put on my best behaviour? Should I have worn a tie, Pixie pie?” He tugs at the collar of his turtleneck. 

“What you can do is hush,” you retort. “Jesus, I’m tryna get my head together.” 

“Last night was wild,” he agrees, though it’s not the point you were making, nor a statement of fact. “We were so close, Pix. You shoulda just laid back and let the magic hands do their tricks. Promise,” he smooths his mustache, “this isn’t just for show. I’ve been told it adds a lot of sensation--” 

“Ew. Would you—if you even say any of that in front of my family--” 

“You gonna spank me?” He asks brightly and sits back, slinging an arm over the back of your chair. 

“Please. I have to at least make this believable and you’re not making it any easier,” you snarl. 

“Are you serious? Our chemistry is like if Einstein banged a beaker--” 

“Einstein was a physicist--” 

“Science is science, baby. All I know is there’s something here and the sooner you accept it, the harder I’ll-- I mean the easier this will be.” 

You look at him dully. All those years you spent bending over backward for him. Behind the mask, he’s a cretin. You always had a suspicion but he was never your creep to deal with. 

“How do you do that?” He asks. 

You grumble and shake your head, turning your glare to the flat screen across from you. 

“How the hell do you skin a man with your eyes? It’s bone tingling and boner-inducing, but damn, it’s something else,” he shifts in his chair noticeably, “you’re gonna make me fly all the way to Canada at half-mast?” 

“You can book a seat across the plane from me if you’re going to keep on,” you warn him. “I’m really not in the mood. We have a deal. I’ll do my part. Pretend, nothing more, and you’ll keep your hands to yourself and give me my money.” 

“I got it, baby. I’m a businessman,” he turns straight and plants his feet wide. “I make deals every day. You’ll get yours.” 

“I want an advance--” 

“An advance? What the hell do you mean? I paid for first-class. Elite,” he punctuates with his finger. “Advance, my juicy ass.” 

“Ten. In my account. Before take-off.” 

“Pfft, you don’t trust me?” 

“No, I don’t,” you affirm. “More so, you owe me. I defaulted on the refund on the flight you made me miss. Oh, and I didn’t get to see my family. On Christmas.” 

“Jeez, well you don’t seem that happy to,” he accuses. 

“Money, now.” 

“Fine, but I get one titty grab--” 

“You get nothing. Mon-ey.” You rub your fingers together. 

He huffs and leans forward as he takes his phone out. He rolls his eyes and taps around on the screen. He takes a deep breath then pushes down. He shows you the screen. “Go ahead and check. You got your blood money.” 

“This is your idea,” you retort. 

“It is my idea but you’re rejecting all my other ones. Like, you know, a sexy massage with a happy ending...” 

“You’re going to give me another headache.” 

“I’ll take it. At least I make you feel something.” He shrugs. 

You shake your head at nothing and check your phone. You can never be too careful with him. Sharing a room has more than proven that. 

🎁

You put the in-flight earbuds in and resign yourself to the hours ahead of you, trapped in a flying canister, next to this incessant man-child. He really brings out the bitch in you. That irritates you even more. You could do anything before without much thought at all; you just got through but Lloyd makes everything a task. 

You close your eyes as the video babbles on. It’s a new release, but those are all remakes and sequels without any real interest. The altitude does little for the shadow of achiness that lingers in the base of your skull. One wrong move and you’ll reawaken your migraine. 

The steady thrum of air around the plane lulls you in a stupor. Just enough for you to stop caring but not deep enough for sleep. You let your head fall toward the window and sink into the numb daze. 

A small tickle makes you shift. You think nothing of it. It’s so small, it could be nothing. Then the sensation travels down to your knee and back up your thigh. You smack Lloyd’s hand before he can repeat the action. 

“Quit,” you hiss. 

He spreads his hand and curls his fingers into your tender flesh. You squeak and open your eyes, clasping onto his wrist as he needs. It’s as if he pinching your nerves. 

“Ow, oh, stop--” you protest. 

“Come on, baby,” he leans over and winks. “Just let me pet the kitty. It’ll help you relax.” 

“How many times can I tell you the same thing--” 

“Just like a dog, you need to be repetitive. Conditioning or whatever,” he purrs. 

You glance past him at the low wall blocking out your seats from the sight of the other pods in first class. You clutch his two middle fingers and squeeze. You bend them back until he grunts and recoils. 

“You touching me isn’t going to make me relax--” 

“Never know if you don’t try,” he wiggles his brows. 

“Trust me, I know.” 

“I’m sure your family don’t need you in a pissy mood. I’m doing it for them, Pixie.” 

“Can I ask you something?” You narrow your eyes, “does the begging usually work?” 

He snorts. He shakes his head and sits back, raising his palms, “you will be flattered to know I don’t usually beg.” He leans against the seat and rests his head on the cushion. “When I tell a girl to hike her skirt up, she just does it. All of them but you.” He clucks and rolls his eyes. “You know that pretty blond from Pristine? Yeah, whenever she comes around, I got her bent over the desk. Thought you’d catch on, she’s not very quiet.” 

You won’t grace him with an excuse. You don’t need one. You’re usually busy, minding your own business, running his errands. You never cared about his office flings. 

“Maybe you should’ve asked her to meet your family,” you suggest. 

“Kidding me? She never shuts up. I gotta stuff my tie in her mouth. Usually why I turn her around--” 

“Lloyd,” you snap. 

“Jealous?” He smirks and you stare back blankly. “You know what? Gotta admit, you surprised me, Pixie Pie. Always quiet in the office, scurrying around like a little mouse. I figured you’d be good because you’d keep the yapper shut. Turns out, you know how to cut deep.” He pushes his shoulders wide and settles. “Never saw mom like that. Or Lillian. Yeah, that was good. You really got her.” 

He snickers and flutters his fingers menacingly. You yawn and look at the small screen. You don’t know what’s going on in the movie. What you do know is that Lloyd Hansen has more issues than one person can solve and you’re not there for anything but business. This is work. You’re getting your money and you’re moving on. 

🎁

Landing is usually a relief. You’re always happy to be on solid ground but it feels shaky as you walk off with your travel companion. The bounce in Lloyd’s step concerns you. He’s much too eager for this. 

He grabs his bags from the carousel, yours too before you can even approach. He loads them all onto a car and steers it around the airport. He’s whistling as you get through the terminal and head for the front doors. As you step outside, he chatters and stops short. 

“Holy grizzly dick, it’s freezing here,” he puffs a cloud of steam as his nose tints pink. 

“There’s not much more snow here than back in the States.” 

“Nah, it’s fucking frigid. Should’ve known,” he shivers and tucks his chin down. You make note of his snipe but don’t acknowledge it. “You maple drinkers drive on the same side of the road?” You glare at him and he winces as he meets your eyes. You’ve booked him trips to Vancouver several times. “Kidding. Obviously. That whole polite stereotype is bullshit, huh, Pix.” 

You ignore him and hail a cab. You just want to be still. The last few days, you’ve been upended. The long drive, his family, the hotel, then a plane ride on top of it all. You’re ready to just stop. 

He wheels the cart around to the trunk and leaves it to the driver to load. You want to admonish him but you’re over the argument. You know you’re going to need your energy. You get in and he climbs in with you.  

He blows into his hands then rubs his cheek. “Santa dropped a load on this place, huh?” He unzips his coat and reaches under it. He fishes around the inside pocket and slips out a pair of glasses. You furrow your nose. You’ve never seen him wear glasses. 

“Where did you get those?” 

“Hipster boy in coach. Snagged them when I hit the restroom,” he explains and pops them on, leaning against you as he cranes to see his reflection in the rear-view mirror. 

“You stole glasses?” 

“Borrowed,” he insists then turns to you. “What’d ya think? Am I the perfect good boy for mom and pop?” 

“You think glasses are gonna do something?” 

“We talked about this, we gotta be convincing, sweetheart. I gotta be a man that sweet lil Pixie would go for.” He adjusts the glasses. “I read Hemingway and have a degree in Social Justice.” 

“Shut--” you catch yourself and sniff. “I don’t even like Hemingway.” 

“Jane Austen? Really? A romantic?” 

“Does it matter?” 

“I’d say. We have to at least pretend we can stand each other. Not just...” he looks down at his lap, “stand for each other.” 

“Ugh, well, start with cutting out those nasty remarks. Second, try, uh, taking care of...” you gesture over your lip, “this.” 

He blinks and his brows draw together. He touches his upper lip, “my mustache?” His eyes widen behind the lenses. “Um, this is style, honey.” 

You scrunch your lips as you try not to laugh. He really believes that. You shrug as the driver gets in. He crosses his arms. 

“Whatever. Judge me but don’t just the stache,” he snips. “So, you gotta tell me. Favourite book.” 

“Do I?” 

“Well, we’re ‘engaged’ so I think I should know,” he argues. 

You watch through the windshield as the taxi follows the airport traffic to the street, “The Bell Jar. If I have to choose one.” 

“Oooh, Plath. How... depressing. But I knew it, you’re a reader, Pixie. Bet you like to sink into a hot tub and get cozy with a good novel. You get the kinky one, let the hand wander below the surface--” 

You elbow him and he cackles. “Alright, sorry. I just—a man’s used to eating daily.” 

“Maybe a diet will do you well,” you retort. 

“Cheat day will come soon enough,” he says. “I’ll do my best to keep my pants on, just don’t go putting your head in any ovens.” 

“You’re awful,” you exclaim. “That’s awful.” 

“Alright,” he combs his hair back, “gonna be a good boy. Promise.” 

“You can take the glasses off.” 

“I kinda like ‘em,” he grins and pinches the arms. 

You make a face but say nothing. The city passes by and your eyes gloss over the familiar sights. The taxi drops you at the rental place and you pull up the booking. There’s at least an hour before you get outside Toronto, then another to your mom’s place. You take the keys and jingle them at Lloyd. 

“Wanna drive?” You ask. 

“I don’t really know where I’m going,” he says. 

“Right.” 

“Besides, Pixie, you got control issues.” 

“Me?” You scoff. “Sure.” 

“Oh, you do,” he assures you as you cross the lot to the rental. “Once you give in to them, you’ll be a lot happier and I'll be your perfect sub.” 

You pop the trunk and tut as you approach the driver’s side, “get the bags in the car, would ya?” 

[sukuna-ryo]

Just something random that came to my mind

MDNI

»»———-　....................　———-««

Gojo was at the foot of the bed, knees on the floor, his upper body sprawled flat across the mattress in a pose that could only be described as a cross between a dramatic prayer and a lazy cat stretch. His elbows were propped up on the bed, palms pressed together in mock reverence. His eyes were shut tight, his head tilted slightly upward, and his face wore the kind of exaggerated seriousness that only he could pull off. It was like he was channeling every saint and monk he’d ever seen on TV, but with just enough drama to make it borderline ridiculous. Then, with a deep, performative sigh, he began.

"Alright, God, it’s me, Gojo Satoru. You probably already know that, but I like to make an entrance. Anyway, I’m here to thank you for this meal and to ask for a couple of things while I’ve got your attention. First off, bless this food. Not just in the regular way, but, like, supercharge it. Make it taste so good that I forget all my problems, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Second, bless me. Not that I’m not already blessed, obviously—I mean, look at me—but you know, just a little extra wouldn’t hurt. Like, make sure my day goes smoothly, nobody annoys me, and if someone does try, let me have the patience of a saint—or at least a semi-patient person. Third, give me some peace and quiet. I’m not saying silence forever, just a little time where I don’t have to deal with anyone’s nonsense. Lastly, if you’ve got some cosmic free time, maybe consider making the world a tiny bit less chaotic, or at least make my job easier. I know that’s a big ask, but hey, you’re God, right? Amen."

You roll your eyes. "You done yet?"

Gojo slowly opened his eyes, looking at you lying on the bed. With a cheeky grin, he said, "Yes," beaming, before diving for his meal between your legs.

---

Do not copy, plagiarise, translate or repost any of my content.

Likes, reblogs, and feedback is appreciated <3

»»———-　....................　———-««

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

[corkinavoid]

Obsessed With You by Cosmicandy

Theater gothic/Phantom of the opera

(For some horrific reason I couldn't think of a trope)

DPxDC Phantom in the Opera

9/2 sat

Went to Gotham City Opera to see Eugene Onegin with B & Dames. The performance sucked ass (as modern takes on classics usually do), but during Tatyana's aria, some tech guy dropped a rubber chicken from catwalks right on stage. I bet it was on purpose since the lead's voice sounded much similar to the sound that chicken made. Wish I could shake the dude's hand, that was truly the crescendo of the whole scene.

15/2 sun

Came by GCO on the way to WE. Had some time to spare, so decided to go in and find the rubber chicken guy to thank him for the laugh last week. Thought he might appreciate the positive feedback since he was defo yelled at for the stunt. Turns out everyone blames it on a 'ghost'. Using 'Phantom of the Opera' as a cover story is poor taste, in my opinion, but on the other hand, it worked, and who am I to judge.

17/2 mon

Got curious and pulled up the records of GCO employees. No one matches the guy I've seen on the catwalks.

18/2 tue

Blackmailed Damian into drawing the guy. No match through the face recognition program. Should have expected that, really; the one cute guy with a sense of humor I meet (or see, actually), and he doesn't exist.

20/2 thur

Can't stop thinking about the rubber chicken guy. Might have to go back to GCO and ask about the whole ghostly rumor. Last time, no one bat an eye at the 'ghost' excuse, now that I think about it. Has it happened before? Is it a go-to explanation for any prank no one wants to take credit for?

26/2 wed

Visited GCO at night. Seen the guy, but the cam footage came back corrupted when checked downstairs. So maybe the fact that his hair was floating and glowing in the dark was not a hallucination.

27/2 thur

Definitely not a hallucination! Good news: got a sample. Bad news: after analysis, the data also came back corrupted. Weird news: the hair keeps glowing even after it's been cut off.

2/3 sun

The guy's name is Danny. Ghost story confirmed. I'm having a crisis.

4/3 tue

I'm not sure if I want to know absolutely everything there is to know about him or I want to forget everything I've already learned. But then, I've already got so far. Might as well commit to the bit?

8/3 sat

Was invited to see La Traviata tomorrow. Can I still call that reconnaissance, or am I in date territory?

10/3 mon

...it was a date. On an entirely unrelated note, Teddy Hyde ruined all my attempts at coming prepared.

18/3 tue

Heard a new rumor among GCO staff members. They suspect the ghost in their opera is having a crush on Red Robin. Not sure where they've got that idea, but it sure took them some time to notice.

19/3 wed

Damian keeps staring at me at dinners. Maybe I should take that portrait of Danny that he did down from the wall over my bed.

22/3 sat

Going on a date today, and this time, it's definitely a date! Feels like I should be having a crisis over dating a ghost, but somehow, I'm only having a crisis over outfit choices.

61/0° gBs

hEy, yoU're keEEpinG a DIary¡ aboUt Me!¡ ThAt"s cuTe FUCK OFF DANNY THIS IS PRIVATE INFORMATION GET OUT heHeheEhe no~

~•~•~•~

The thing is, I loved the song. And I loved the aesthetic. And I had such a goddamn hard time figuring out how to fit them together; I went through at least three different setups before deciding fuck it imma write silly boys being silly and wish for the best.

Dare I say it turned out cute as fuck, even though I still missed the mark on theater gothic aesthetic for the most part. Anyway, have a few pictures for general vibes!

[Just so you know, if you enter 'sex with a ghost' into google, the first few results will be the lyrics to 'Sex with a Ghost' by Terry Hyde, which is why Tim's research has been rather fruitless]

[percyswhxre]

spin the bottle

loser! best friend! luke castellan x daughter of athena! daughter

a/n: this is only my third story, and i’m open to feedback! let me know if you guys like it. also in this story, pretend that annabeth never like luke in that way. and sorry for the abrupt ending, i didn’t really know what to do

word count: about 900 words

it was the kind of party that was loud, messy, and filled with way too many people. music blared from the speakers, cups clinked, and laughter echoed off the walls. y/n sat on the couch with a group of people, her eyes scanning the crowd, not really paying attention to the conversation. she spotted luke across the room, his usual awkward self, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. he looked uncomfortable, like he didn’t know what to do with his hands.

y/n grinned to herself. she couldn’t help it. luke was her best friend, and after all his moping, he was still… well, luke. and even though he was the one to act all cool, he was secretly a mess around people, especially girls.

“you’re staring,” annabeth teased, nudging y/n’s shoulder.

“shut up,” y/n muttered, her face flushing a little. annabeth had been making fun of her for weeks now. ever since she’d started noticing that luke didn’t look as awful to her as he used to.

“okay, whatever,” annabeth said, dropping the subject, but her grin stayed.

the night wore on, and soon enough, someone suggested playing spin the bottle. y/n was just about to protest when annabeth grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her into the circle.

"this is gonna be fun," annabeth said, her eyes twinkling.

“right,” y/n muttered, rolling her eyes. the bottle spun, people kissed, laughter filled the air. it wasn’t a big deal, not really. she’d played before. but this time, there was a weight to it—something she couldn’t explain. maybe it was because luke was in the circle, sitting right across from her, looking more uncomfortable than ever.

the bottle spun again, slowly at first, then picking up speed. y/n watched it, her heart beating a little faster for no reason at all. she had no idea why, but her gaze kept drifting back to luke. it stopped. everyone gasped, laughing. y/n froze when she saw who the bottle had landed on.

luke.

he was already looking at her, his face a little red, eyes wide. he cleared his throat, looking everywhere but at her.

“well…” someone said, breaking the tension. “this is gonna be interesting.”

y/n felt her palms get sweaty. why was she nervous? they were best friends, right? they’d hung out, fought monsters, saved the world together. but for some reason, this felt different.

“come on, just kiss him already,” annabeth teased. y/n shot her a glare, but annabeth just grinned, obviously enjoying the moment.

“yeah, it’s no big deal,” luke said, his voice a little shaky, like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

y/n took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. she leaned in, closing her eyes. when her lips brushed against luke’s, the world kind of… stopped. it wasn’t a long kiss, just a quick peck, but it felt like everything changed. her heart was pounding, and when they pulled away, their faces were only inches apart.

there was a long silence.

“that was… different,” y/n said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“yeah,” luke agreed, his voice thick with something y/n couldn’t quite place.

the game continued around them, but they both stayed frozen, caught in the moment. luke’s gaze didn’t leave her face, and she could see the confusion and uncertainty in his eyes. but there was something else, something softer.

“hey,” luke said quietly, once everyone’s attention was elsewhere. “can we… talk for a minute?”

y/n nodded, feeling a little dizzy from the kiss. she followed him outside onto the back porch, away from the noise of the party. the cool night air hit her, and she felt a little clearer.

they stood in silence for a moment, neither of them sure what to say. luke kicked a loose pebble, clearly not knowing how to start. finally, he looked at her, his eyes serious.

“so… that kiss. it wasn’t like… just a kiss, right?”

y/n blinked, caught off guard. “uh, no,” she admitted, her voice small. “it wasn’t. but I didn’t… I mean, I didn’t expect it to be.”

“me neither,” luke said, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. but then his expression shifted. “but… y/n, I… I’ve kind of liked you for a while now. like, more than a friend.”

y/n’s breath caught in her throat. she stared at him, trying to figure out if she’d heard him right. luke castellan, the guy who had never kissed anyone, who was always awkward and unsure, liked her?

“you… you do?” she asked, almost too afraid to ask the question.

he nodded, looking a little embarrassed but also relieved, like he was glad to finally say it out loud.

“yeah,” he said, stepping a little closer. “I think I always have. and after that kiss… I don’t know, it felt like maybe you felt the same.”

y/n smiled, her heart racing. “well, you’re right. I do. I’ve just been too stupid to say it.”

luke grinned, stepping closer still until there was barely any space between them. “well, then,” he said softly, leaning in, “maybe we should try that again.”

this time, when their lips met, it wasn’t quick or awkward. it was slow, and sure, and everything that had been unsaid between them clicked into place.

luke’s hands grabbed her waist and y/n’s hands tangled in his hair. she began to walk backwards as he walked forwards, until they found the padded bench seat. he sat down, pulling her into his lap without breaking their kiss.

y/n broke away with a small laugh before getting up and grabbing his hand. “let’s go back inside now, and maybe we’ll continue this later?” she asked and he almost immediately nodded. they walked back inside to the party, holding hands.

[ikeupied]

breaking the silence ░⃘᰷᰷𝅘𝅥𝅮

᎐⠀಄〫 synopsis: y/n has always been content living in the background, keeping to herself and focusing on her studies. But when her grades start to slip, her life feels like it's spiraling out of control. Enter Lee Heeseung—the confident, kindhearted basketball captain whose sudden interest in her leaves her questioning everything she thought she knew about herself. As the two grow closer, Y/N learns that sometimes, letting others in is the first step to finding herself.

❀:.. pairing: heeseung x fem!reader

❀:.. genre: strangers to friends to ???, fluff ? (I'm not sure ab the genre of this).

❀:.. wc: 14,374.

❀:.. warnings: heeseung is 20yo!! one kiss, mention of other idols, mentions of anxiety/anxiety attack, this is fiction and doesn't reflect the idols in real life!

❀:.. note: I'm sorry if it's bad, I actually like it but maybe it's not the best, also sorry bc it's too long, I got carried away lol. I'm not sure if the title is fitting but when I was writing this I liked it. and lastly sorry bc I feel like it feels rushed (? when you read it, idk, feedback is always welcome!

"Y/N, are you listening to me?"

My eyes focused on the person standing in front of me—Minjeong, my best friend. I quickly shook my head. "Sorry, can you repeat what you were saying?" I furrowed my brows in concentration. Minjeong laughed at my expression and grabbed my arm, pulling me along as we walked.

"I was saying that Professor Kim has been asking about you all morning. She told me to let you know to go to her office when you have the chance."

A sigh escaped my lips as I nodded.

----

Minjeong accompanied me to Professor Kim's office, promising to wait outside. "Good luck," she whispered with her trademark little smile, which I returned. I closed the door behind me, greeted the professor with a small bow, and walked over to stand in front of her desk.

"Y/N." Her voice was firm, even a little intimidating if you overthought it. "I’m really disappointed in you. Your grades have dropped drastically lately."

My breath hitched at her words. I knew I wasn’t doing well this semester, but hearing Professor Kim say she was disappointed in me struck a painful chord in my chest.

"If you don’t improve your grades in the upcoming exams, I’ll have no choice but to report you to the administration. This could affect your academic future. You know the requirements for keeping your scholarship."

I simply nodded in response. Professor Kim dismissed me, and I quickly left, avoiding Minjeong as I headed to the courtyard. The tears welling up in my eyes threatened to spill at any moment. My legs trembled, and I had to sit down on a bench to avoid collapsing.

Just then, I heard a soft voice behind me. "Are you okay?" At first, I thought it was my imagination, but when I heard it again, I lifted my face and turned around to see the owner of that voice: Lee Heeseung, the captain of the basketball team.

"Are you okay?" he asked again, his eyes filled with a mix of concern and curiosity. My eyes locked onto his, unable to say a single word. It must have been embarrassing, but I couldn’t think about that. My mind was blank, and the only thing I could do was take in the sight of the boy standing in front of me.

He was tall, with a slim yet athletic build, a soft face, almond-shaped eyes, slightly messy black hair, and an aura of tranquility that seemed to radiate from him.

I blinked a few times, realizing I was staring too much. He chuckled lightly and spoke again. "Sorry, I don’t mean to bother you. I just saw you crying and wondered if something was wrong..."

He sat down beside me, keeping a respectful distance. My shyness got the better of me, and I lowered my gaze, focusing on my hands resting on my lap.

"I’m Heeseung, by the way," he said.

I nodded and finally managed to speak. "I know."

He chuckled softly at my comment. "Your name?" he asked with genuine interest.

"Sorry, I’m Y/N," I replied.

"Y/N... That’s a lovely name."

I smiled faintly and whispered, "Thank you." Just then, I heard someone running up behind us. We both turned to see who it was.

"I’ve been looking for you everywhere!" Minjeong exclaimed as she approached. Heeseung got up from his seat and said goodbye before leaving.

Minjeong sat down next to me and pulled me into a hug. "I was so worried! Are you okay?"

We broke the hug, and she took my hands, concern evident on her face.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave like that. I just... needed a moment alone," I said. She nodded, listening carefully.

"Hey, but why were you talking to Lee Heeseung?" Minjeong raised her eyebrows curiously.

I shrugged. "Honestly... I don’t know. He just came up to me."

Minjeong smirked. "Mmm, and?"

My eyebrows rose at her question. "And what? I don’t even know him."

She burst out laughing and stood up, tugging at my arm to make me do the same. "Oh, Y/N, sometimes you’re just so innocent."

I looked at her in confusion as we started walking, her laughter still echoing around us.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

The sun was beginning to set behind the library windows, painting the study tables with shades of orange. I was trying to focus on my notes, though the words seemed to dance in front of my eyes. My mind kept replaying everything that had happened with Professor Kim.

I sighed, letting my pencil fall onto the notebook. Minjeong had insisted I take the rest of the day easy, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that if I didn’t improve, my scholarship was at risk.

"Studying late?"

The voice startled me. I quickly looked up, and there he was—Lee Heeseung, standing in front of my table. He was wearing the basketball team jacket, unzipped over a plain white shirt, and his relaxed expression contrasted entirely with my nervousness.

“Heeseung?” My voice came out weaker than I intended.

He smiled, as if amused by my reaction. "So you remember my name. That’s a good start."

I felt my face heat up, and I lowered my gaze to my notebook, pretending to focus on the lines already written. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for a book for history class," he replied casually, dropping a couple of books onto the table. "But then I saw someone sighing like the world was ending, so I stopped by."

I stayed silent, unsure of how to respond. What do you even say when someone like him, who seems to live in a completely different world from yours, suddenly talks to you?

"Having trouble?" he pressed, gesturing toward my notebook.

"Uh… no, I’m fine." My voice was barely a whisper, and I turned my attention back to my notes, hoping that would end the conversation.

But he didn’t leave. Instead, he sat down across from me, propping one elbow on the table. "If you need help, I can give you a hand. I’m not a genius, but I manage pretty well with schoolwork."

"Why…?" I started to ask, but stopped myself, biting my lip. I didn’t want to sound rude, but I also couldn’t understand why he would want to help me.

"Why what?" he asked, his smile calm and patient.

"Never mind," I murmured quickly, staring hard at my notebook.

He let out a small laugh. "Look, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, but if you need help, just say so. There’s nothing wrong with asking."

I looked at him for a second, his words echoing in my mind. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to accept his offer—at least to dig myself out of the hole I was in.

"Alright," I whispered at last, pointing to the book in front of me. "If you can explain this… then maybe I’ll believe you."

"Deal," he said, leaning over my notes with a confident smile.

And though my chest still felt heavy from everything that had happened, I couldn’t help but feel slightly relieved.

----

It became a habit for us to meet in the library to study. I still felt a bit nervous every time I had to talk to him, but little by little, I started to loosen up.

Minjeong swore she’d never seen me this relaxed with anyone other than her and Jimin. “I’m telling you, Y/N, Heeseung likes you,” Jimin said one day in the cafeteria after I told them about how Heeseung had been helping me study.

“What are you talking about? He’s just being nice because he feels bad for me. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Professor Kim told him to help me,” I said with a small laugh, furrowing my brows as I looked at my friends.

Minjeong gave my arm a light smack. “Don’t be ridiculous. And even if Ms. Kim did ask him to help, that doesn’t mean he can’t like you.”

Jimin nodded in agreement. “Also, you know Sunghoon is my friend, right?” I nodded and waited for her to continue. “He told me Heeseung hasn’t stopped talking about some girl, but he won’t say who it is.”

I rolled my eyes, giving her a skeptical look. “Sure, he’s probably talking about Heejin or one of the cheerleaders. Honestly, who wouldn’t? Have you seen them? They’re gorgeous.”

Minjeong’s expression turned serious, and I swallowed hard. “Y/N, stop it. You know you’re pretty too. Anyone on campus could have a crush on you, and people have told you that before! You just refuse to believe it. Let yourself be loved, for God’s sake!”

She didn’t raise her voice or sound angry—Minjeong never did with me. But she was firm, and she always told me the truth to my face.

I stared at her for a moment before nodding. “Okay, I’m sorry.”

Jimin slid a piece of melon from her plate onto mine, smiling softly. “Minjeong’s right, but take your time, okay?” She looked at both of us and sighed, then quickly changed the topic.

At that moment, the basketball team entered the cafeteria, Heeseung included, of course.

He was talking to someone I recognized as Jaeyun when he looked in my direction. At first, I didn’t notice because I was chatting with my friends, but he started walking toward our table and stopped right in front of me.

“How’d your history exam go?” He smiled his usual confident smile.

I stared at him, frozen, unable to say a word until Minjeong gently tapped my hand. That’s when I realized I had been staring too long. “Oh… I did well,” I said, smiling faintly, feeling a bit awkward about the situation.

“I knew you could do it.” He ruffled my hair affectionately, leaving me completely frozen at the gesture. “See you later.”

And just like that, he left. I was still processing everything, staring blankly at my friends, who were both laughing.

“So? Do you still think he couldn’t possibly like you?” Minjeong asked, her mischievous smile growing wider.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Winter break had finally arrived, the moment we’d all been waiting for. I always spent the holidays on campus with Minjeong and Jimin, enjoying the quiet atmosphere while everyone else left for home.

Apparently, Heeseung was staying on campus for the break as well—information that Jimin had uncovered during one of her “investigations.”

“We should take a trip, just the three of us,” Minjeong suggested enthusiastically as we strolled through a park near the university.

“I heard some of the students staying on campus are planning a beach trip,” Jimin added, glancing at us. “We could join them if you’re interested.”

“That actually sounds great,” I said with a small smile. “Staying cooped up on campus is getting boring.”

Both of them nodded in agreement. Jimin quickly pulled out her phone. “Perfect. I’ll text Sunghoon and ask if he can give us a ride.”

Excitement buzzed in the air as we hurried back to campus. Each of us headed to our rooms to pack our bags, ready for an adventure to break the monotony of campus life.

----

The trip to the beach had taken longer than expected, but we finally arrived just as the sun began to set, painting the sky in shades of pink and gold. The air was cold, much colder than I had imagined, and the sound of waves crashing against the shore echoed through the quiet surroundings.

Minjeong was the first to jump out of the car, wrapped in her thick coat, running toward the sand as if the cold didn’t exist. “Come on, girls! It’s beautiful!” she shouted, stretching her arms out as the wind tossed her hair.

Jimin, of course, was more focused on taking pictures. “This is perfect for Instagram,” she murmured, aiming her camera at the horizon. I lingered near the car for a moment, pulling my coat tighter around my neck as I watched my friends.

“Frozen in place?” A familiar voice startled me. I hadn’t noticed Heeseung until he appeared, carrying a small backpack over his shoulder and wearing a thick scarf wrapped around his neck.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, more surprised than annoyed.

He gave me that carefree smile that seemed to be his trademark. “Sunghoon told me you were all coming. I thought it might be fun to tag along.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded, feeling a bit nervous at the thought of spending the rest of the day with him around.

“Come on,” he said, motioning toward the beach where Minjeong was busy writing something in the sand. “You’ll be warmer moving around than standing here freezing.”

I sighed but followed his lead onto the sand, where Jimin had already set up a large blanket for us to sit on. Heeseung plopped down right beside me, close enough that I could feel the warmth of his presence, which did nothing to calm my nerves.

“I thought the beach might be a little warmer,” he commented as he stared out at the water. “But it’s pretty in winter, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” I murmured, looking at the waves sliding gently onto the shore. Despite the cold, there was something calming about the view, as if, for a moment, I could forget everything else.

“We could take a walk by the water,” Heeseung suggested, tilting his head slightly to look at me. “If you don’t mind freezing a bit more.”

I wasn’t sure if he was joking or serious, but before I could respond, Minjeong called out from a few meters away. “Y/N! Come look at this!”

Grateful for the distraction, I quickly got to my feet, but not before catching the smile forming on Heeseung’s lips. I didn’t know what it was about that smile, but it always made me feel things I didn’t know how to handle.

----

Later that evening, we all gathered in a cozy, albeit small, cabin that, according to Jimin, belonged to Sunghoon’s parents.

Minjeong and I were in the kitchen cooking while the rest prepared the table.

Despite being in a setting I wasn’t usually comfortable in—surrounded by people I didn’t know very well—I felt oddly at ease. Besides Minjeong, Jimin, Sunghoon, Heeseung, and me, Jaeyun, Minju, and Yeonjun had also joined us.

“Don’t forget to make ramen. Heeseung’s obsessed,” Sunghoon said as he pointed to a shelf packed with various ramen packages. Minjeong and I exchanged amused glances and nodded, laughing softly.

Once everything was ready, we brought the food to the table and finally sat down to eat. The air was filled with the aroma of warm dishes and the sound of lighthearted conversation. We talked about everything and nothing at the same time, the kind of chatter that made the evening feel even cozier.

For a moment, as I looked around at the smiling faces and felt the warmth of the cabin, I thought that maybe these winter holidays wouldn’t be so bad after all.

After dinner, we all agreed to share rooms for everyone’s comfort: the girls in one room, the boys in another. Once everyone settled in, we met outside again, gathering around a crackling bonfire.

The night passed with laughter, games, and stories. I mostly stayed quiet, simply observing and listening. I didn’t mind, though—it was comforting in its own way.

---

The other girls fell asleep almost instantly, but I couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried, sleep wouldn’t come. So, I bundled up in my warmest coat and decided to take a walk along the beach.

The night was stunning. The sky was clear, stars shining brightly like tiny scattered diamonds. The cold wind nipped at my cheeks but wasn’t unbearable, and the sound of the waves created a soothing rhythm. I could have stayed there for hours.

I stopped at one point, gazing out at the sea, getting lost in the soft roar of the waves meeting the shore.

“It’s a beautiful night,” a familiar, soft voice said behind me. I couldn’t help but smile as I turned around to see him.

“It really is,” I replied, shifting my gaze back to the water, watching the way it danced gently under the moonlight.

“I noticed you didn’t talk much earlier. Are you okay?” Heeseung’s voice carried a surprising warmth, tinged with genuine concern. He always caught me off guard. For someone as naturally popular as he was, he also seemed so observant.

“I’m fine,” I answered softly, glancing at him. “I just like listening to others.”

He nodded at my response, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. It sounded... sweet.

“I like that about you,” he said, his voice quieter this time, almost shy. My heart skipped a beat at his words. I froze, staring at him.

“What?” I managed to ask, the surprise clear in my voice. He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I like how you observe, how you’re always so attentive. It’s... calming,” he said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket like he hadn’t just dropped a bombshell.

I didn’t know how to respond. All I could do was stare at him.

“You know,” he continued, his gaze now fixed on the ocean, “you caught my attention the moment you stepped onto campus.”

My lips parted in shock, but no words came out.

“My friends thought I was staring at Minjeong or Jimin, and I couldn’t believe they didn’t notice you.” His tone was steady, sincere, and it sent my heart into a frenzy.

“That day I saw you crying…” His voice softened, and he paused, as if carefully choosing his words. “I don’t know how to explain it, but something hurt in my chest. I could feel your pain.”

He exhaled deeply, his breath visible in the chilly air. “I didn’t just want to make sure you were okay. I also saw it as my chance to finally learn your name.”

He turned to face me then, his gaze meeting mine with an intensity that made my breath catch.

“Heeseung…” I whispered, unsure of what to say or how to process the weight of his words.

"Can I kiss you?" he finally asked, his voice barely louder than a whisper, as if he was afraid to shatter the fragile balance of the moment.

Without thinking much, I nodded, my eyes locked on his, feeling as though the entire world had come to a halt.

Heeseung took a step closer, closing the space between us. I could feel the warmth of his presence despite the cold of the night, and my heart was pounding so hard I was sure he could hear it.

Slowly, he raised a hand, his fingers lightly grazing my cheek. His touch was warm, and without saying a word, he leaned in closer.

The first touch was hesitant, like we were both exploring unfamiliar territory. But then, as our lips truly met, it was as if all the winter cold melted away.

His lips were soft, and the kiss, though brief, was filled with a tenderness that made me feel like I was floating. When he pulled back just a fraction, his eyes met mine, and a small smile formed on his lips.

"I’ve always wanted to do that," he confessed in a whisper, his fingers still caressing my face.

I could barely speak, my mind still reeling from what had just happened. "What took you so long then?" I managed to say, my voice trembling with a mix of nerves and the happiness I couldn’t contain.

His smile grew wider. "I guess I was waiting for the perfect moment."

Before I could reply, he leaned in again, his lips claiming mine in a kiss that was bolder, filled with everything words couldn’t express.

When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. "I really like you, Y/N," he murmured softly.

My heart seemed to stop for a moment at his words, my cheeks burning from the blush that had taken over, and nothing could have wiped the enormous smile from my face.

"I like you too, Heeseung," I replied quietly, placing my hand on his cheek and gently stroking it.

© all rights reserved to ikeupied, please don't copy.

[lightdancingwords]

Second Chances - Part Eight of ?

Pairings: Beau Arlen x Y/N Female reader Series Summary: A chance meeting in a grocery store brings a second chance for you and for Beau. The only thing standing in your way are your respective pasts... and a tiny little roadblock. Word Count: 3,040 Tags/Warnings: Not really. Other than mention of injury, recovery in a hospital, and of course, toddler, parent/family. A/N: Comments, Likes, Reblogs, Kind feedback are always highly appreciated. Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! I couldn't resist--I gotta have me some Beau while writing Dean! This is a brand new story of Beau and female reader! Divider: credit to @sweetmelodygraphics

Chapter Eight: Aftermath

Beau swung his legs off the hospital bed slowly, a sharp tug of pain pulling at his side. His hand instinctively moved to his stomach, his fingers brushing against the edge of the bandage beneath his shirt. He winced but forced a small smile in Y/N’s direction as she stood by, watching him with a mixture of concern and readiness to help.

“Easy there, cowboy,” she murmured, stepping closer. “You don’t have to rush.”

Beau grunted, sitting upright fully and gripping the bed rail for support. “If I move any slower, darlin’, I’ll fossilize right here.”

Y/N’s lips twitched, but her amusement was fleeting. She placed a hand on his arm, her touch steadying. “You’re not in this alone, Beau. Lean on me, okay?”

Her words carried more than just their immediate meaning, and Beau looked up at her, his green eyes softening. “I know,” he said quietly. “Thanks, darlin’.”

A nurse appeared at the doorway, carrying a clipboard and Beau’s discharge papers. “Sheriff Arlen,” she began with a friendly but professional tone, “we’re all set. Just make sure to follow these instructions to the letter, alright? No heavy lifting, lots of rest, and keep an eye on that wound for any signs of infection. And if you have even the slightest concern, call us.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Beau replied with a faint grin, though the weight of the restrictions gnawed at him. “No rodeo stunts. Got it.”

Y/N chuckled, taking the clipboard from the nurse. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he behaves.”

The nurse smiled knowingly. “Good. He’s lucky to have you.” She handed Beau a plastic bag containing a few essentials from his stay—a water bottle, the socks they gave him, and his wallet. “Take care, Sheriff.”

Beau gave a small nod, though he leaned heavily on Y/N as he stood, his strength not what it usually was. She wrapped an arm around his waist, careful not to press against his injury. “Alright, big guy,” she said softly. “Let’s get you out of here.”

Beau sighed heavily as the nurse wheeled him down the hospital hallway, the faint squeak of the wheelchair’s wheels echoing in the otherwise quiet space. Hospital policy, they said. Nobody walks out of recovery under their own power. He supposed it made sense, but that didn’t make it any less humiliating.

“Darlin’, you sure this is necessary?” he grumbled, glancing up at Y/N, who walked alongside him.

She shot him a look, her lips twitching with suppressed amusement. “It’s policy, Beau. Besides, I think you look rather distinguished.”

“Distinguished, huh?” He snorted, shaking his head. “More like decrepit.”

The nurse chuckled behind him. “It’s better than falling in the parking lot. Let’s save your dignity, Sheriff.”

Beau muttered something under his breath but didn’t argue further. He adjusted the strap of the duffle bag Y/N had slung over the wheelchair’s handles. She’d gone to his place earlier that day, gathering essentials for his stay at her home—a task he hadn’t been thrilled about but couldn’t bring himself to argue against.

“You got everything I need in there?” he asked, glancing back at her.

“Shirt, jeans, socks, your favorite flannel, deodorant, your bath stuff, and a toothbrush,” Y/N listed off. “Oh, and I grabbed your boots, too. Hope you don’t mind, but I might’ve done a little cleaning while I was there. I couldn’t help myself.”

Beau raised a brow. “Cleanin’? What’d you do?”

“Just tidied up. Tossed some expired food in the fridge. Nothing major,” she said, shrugging. “I thought you might appreciate coming home to less of a mess when you’re feeling better.”

He smiled faintly, the warmth of her thoughtfulness easing the sting of his current predicament. “Thanks, darlin’. I appreciate it.”

The nurse stopped at the automatic doors leading to the hospital parking lot. Y/N moved ahead, pulling open the passenger door of her car and adjusting the seat to make it easier for Beau to climb in. She returned to the wheelchair just as the nurse set the brakes.

“Alright, Sheriff,” the nurse said, her tone friendly but firm. “Slow and steady. Don’t push it.”

“I hear ya,” Beau replied, gripping the armrests as he began to stand. Pain lanced through his abdomen, sharp and immediate, but he bit back the grunt that rose in his throat. Y/N was instantly at his side, one hand on his arm, the other lightly resting on his back.

“Easy,” she murmured, her voice soft but steady. “We’re not in a hurry.”

He leaned into her support, taking the short steps to the car with care. Once he was seated, she buckled him in, her movements efficient but gentle. “Comfy?” she asked, tilting her head to meet his eyes.

“As comfy as I’m gonna get,” he said, a faint grin tugging at his lips.

Y/N kissed his forehead briefly before closing the door and moving to speak with the nurse. Beau watched her through the window, her focus sharp and determined as she listened to the nurse’s parting instructions. She really was something else—fierce and kind, with a quiet strength that had him falling for her harder every day.

When she slid into the driver’s seat, she glanced at him. “Ready to go home?”

“Darlin’,” he said, his voice soft, “I think I’ve already found home.”

She smiled, her cheeks flushing as she started the car. The ride back to her house was quiet, the hum of the engine soothing as the late afternoon sun bathed the Montana landscape in golden light. Y/N had turned the radio to a low volume, the gentle strumming of a country ballad filling the space between them.

When they pulled into her driveway, Y/N wasted no time coming around to help him out of the car. Despite the pain and the limitations of his condition, Beau couldn’t help but feel a swell of gratitude as she supported him. She was taking him in, making him a part of her world—and he’d never felt more cared for.

As they approached the front door, Y/N glanced at him with a teasing smile. “Ready to meet Nurse Eliza?”

Beau chuckled, his hand brushing against hers. “Darlin’, I think I’m gonna be the luckiest patient she’s ever had.”

Beau’s boots scuffed lightly against the hardwood as Y/N helped him into the house, the faint scent of lavender and something freshly baked welcoming him. He straightened slightly, his hand still resting lightly on her arm, and let his gaze sweep the cozy space. It was warm, inviting, and unmistakably hers—soft blankets draped over the couch, a basket of Eliza’s toys tucked neatly in the corner, and a vase of fresh flowers on the kitchen counter.

Y/N’s mother, Margaret, looked up from where she was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of tea in her hand. Eliza was seated in her high chair nearby, happily munching on bits of cut-up fruit. The little girl’s face lit up when she saw Beau.

“Bo-Bo!” Eliza squealed, her tiny fists waving in excitement.

Beau grinned, his heart swelling despite the ache in his stomach. “Hey there, wolf-child,” he greeted softly. He glanced at Margaret, tipping his hat—or what would’ve been his hat if he weren’t recovering. “Ma’am.”

Margaret rose, her sharp eyes sweeping over him with an appraising look. “Sheriff Arlen,” she said warmly. “Glad to see you on your feet. Though I hear you’re supposed to stay off them as much as possible.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Beau replied, his voice tinged with humor. “You and Y/N have got me outnumbered on that front.”

Margaret smiled knowingly, gesturing to the couch. “Why don’t you sit down before you overdo it?”

Beau nodded, letting Y/N guide him to the couch. As soon as he was settled, Eliza started wiggling in her high chair, clearly eager to get to him.

“Hold your horses, darlin’,” Beau said gently. “Doctor says no heavy lifting, remember?”

Eliza frowned, her little brows knitting together in frustration, but she settled when Y/N scooped her up and brought her over. Sitting on her mother’s lap, Eliza reached out to pat Beau’s arm.

“Bo-Bo better?” she asked, her voice full of concern.

Beau’s grin softened. “Workin’ on it, kiddo. You just keep being my nurse, and I’ll be good as new.”

Margaret chuckled from the kitchen. “She’s been talking about you all day,” she said, pouring another cup of tea. “You’ve made quite the impression.”

Beau leaned back against the cushions, his smile widening. “Well, she’s got a way of makin’ herself unforgettable.”

Y/N sat down beside him, Eliza still in her lap, and gave him a knowing look. “She gets it from her mom.”

He chuckled, his hand brushing lightly against hers where it rested on the armrest. The brief touch was enough to send a warm pulse through him—a reminder of all they’d shared over the past few days.

They’d agreed earlier the morning after his surgery, during a quiet moment in his hospital room, to put the question of marriage on hold. There was already so much to process—his recovery, her pregnancy, and the whirlwind of emotions that had come with their declarations of love. He didn’t want to pressure her, and she didn’t want to make a decision with so much still unsettled.

“You’re sure you’re okay with waiting?” she’d asked him, her voice hesitant but hopeful.

“Darlin’,” he’d said, taking her hand in his. “The last thing I want is to make you feel rushed or overwhelmed. We’ve got all the time in the world. As long as we’re together, that’s what matters.”

Now, sitting in her home, surrounded by the life she’d built, Beau felt that truth settle even deeper. He had no doubts about wanting to spend his life with her, but he also knew that patience was its own kind of love—a willingness to give her the space she needed.

Margaret approached, setting a plate of cookies on the coffee table. “You’ll stay here while you recover,” she said matter-of-factly, though her tone was warm. “Y/N’s already got everything set up, and I’ll help with Eliza as long as you need.”

Beau tipped his head. “Thank you, ma’am. Means a lot.”

Margaret smiled, her sharp gaze softening. “You’re family now, Beau. That’s what we do.”

The words settled over him, bringing with them a sense of belonging he hadn’t felt in years. He glanced at Y/N, whose lips curved into a soft smile, her eyes meeting his with a quiet understanding.

“Looks like you’re stuck with us,” she teased lightly, though her voice carried a note of something deeper.

“Darlin’,” Beau replied, his voice low and full of warmth, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Eliza babbled something incomprehensible, her tiny hand reaching out to pat his arm again. Beau chuckled, his free hand covering hers as he leaned back into the couch, content for the first time in a long while.

Whatever challenges lay ahead, he knew they’d face them together. And for now, that was more than enough.

While Beau was resting in bed, the combination of pain killers and recovery wearing him out, Y/N was preparing dinner while her mother tended to Eliza. As she was chopping up vegetables for beef stew, Margaret kept glancing over at Y/N.

“Out with it, little girl,” Margaret said at last. She knew her daughter well, well enough to know something was bothering her.

Y/N sighed, her hand stilling for a moment. “I’m pregnant,” she said at last.

Margaret straightened, and Eliza began bonking toys together, enjoying the chaos of smashing pretend buildings. “Oh.”

Y/N cringed. She knew that tone. “We… we were careful, mom. Doubly careful. But it still happened anyway.”

“I didn’t say anything, Y/N,” her mother said gently.

She let out a breath. “I’m sorry, mom.” She turned to face her mother, tears shimmering in her eyes. “It’s just…” She cleared her throat. “I’m scared. So much has happened. Beau knows and he’s over the moon, but I’m scared.”

“Didn’t you tell me he proposed?” Margaret asked, trying to get to the root of her daughter’s fears.

“Yes. A-and…” Y/N pressed a hand to her chest, feeling her heart ache. “I love him. He loves me. So I don’t… I don’t know why I’m so scared.”

“Y/N,” Margaret said softly, motherly, pulling Y/N into a comforting hug. “You just had a lot dumped on you at once. You just discovered you were pregnant and Beau was shot the same day. Not 24 hours later, you two told each other your I love yous and then he proposed. You barely had a chance to process everything.”

Y/N let out a stifled sob and clung to her mother. Y/N might have been an adult, a mother herself, but in that moment, she was so glad she had her mother to lean on. “I thought I was going to lose him,” she whispered, her voice tinged with tears. “When I got that phone call… oh God, mom…”

“You have your second chance, my darling girl. He’s alive. He loves you. He wants to be your husband, father to your children. He adores Eliza.”

“I wasn’t prepared to start dating again,” Y/N whispered, her tears beginning to stop. She wiped them away and reluctantly pulled out of her mother’s embrace. “And then he just… God, mom. When I met him, he just walked right in and stole my heart when I wasn’t looking.”

“You told me he asked you for permission to approach Eliza,” Margaret said, phrasing as a question.

“Yeah, he did.”

“And you said he asked you permission to kiss you. Several times.”

“Yeah…” Y/N breathed, her heart swelling with love as she remembered those moments. “He did.”

“And when you told him you were pregnant… how did he react?”

Y/N thought back to that moment, the slow joy that spread over his face. “He was happy.”

Margaret regarded her daughter for a long moment, hands on her shoulders. “Y/N, my dear, my darling daughter… do you love that man?”

There was a rush of emotion, a swelling of her heart. “God yes, I do.”

“Then, Y/N,” Margaret said, gently touching her daughter’s cheek. “Go tell him.”

“But— Dinner—”

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” Margaret scooped up Eliza and put her back in the high chair before handing the toddler some toys to keep her busy. “I’ll take over. Go.” Margaret nudged Y/N with her hip. “Take as long as you need.”

Y/N glanced at her mother, gave Margaret a fierce hug, and then went to the bedroom, to talk to the man she loved.

Beau had been napping. Despite the ache of his stomach wound, he managed to doze for a little while. When he heard the door creak open, it stirred him out of his rest. He made a low sound, squinted against the light.

“Darlin’?”

“Yes, it’s me,” she said quietly, closing the door behind her. She headed over to him and sat at the edge of the bed. “How do you feel?”

“I’ll be okay,” he murmured, reaching to take her hand. “You’re here.”

He dimly saw her smile. “Charmer.”

“I mean it, darlin’,” he said, his voice low and soft. “This? It don’t get any better than this.”

“It can, though,” she said, her voice shaky.

He furrowed his brow. “Darlin’?”

“Beau… ask me again,” she urged.

It took him a moment to realize what she was saying. “Let me…” Beau tried to sit up, grimaced, and laid back down. “Shit, darlin’, I can’t ask you lyin’ down.”

“You don’t have to—”

“Darlin’.” His firm tone stopped her. “Let me ask ya the way I want to… please.”

She nodded, reached to help him sit up. His stomach was killing him when he was finally sitting up, pain vibrating throughout his core. He felt sweat bead on his forehead and he was breathing heavily. Y/N regarded him with concern in her gaze.

“I’m all right, darlin’,” he said at last, touching her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. His heart skipped a beat. God, he loved her so much. “Ya know… it was how you handled your daughter that day in the grocery store.”

“What about it?” she asked, puzzled.

“That got me to fall in love with you,” he said, his voice low and steady.

“Beau.” Her breath caught in the whisper of his name.

“It was. The remark about her havin’ her own wolf pack, being a wolf-child,” he continued. “God, it just killed me. I remembered thinkin’… here’s a momma that cared about her kid. Loved her kid. And I respected that so much.”

“You were in love with me even then?”

“It was the beginnin’,” he confirmed. “And every time I saw you… I just knew. God, darlin’, I just knew.”

He saw tears form in her eyes, shimmering. “Darlin’, don’t cry…”

“N-no. I’m not… I’m not upset.” She let out a half-laugh, emotional. “God, Beau Arlen, you just make it impossible not to fall in love with you all over again.”

Beau reached to brush away a tear with his thumb. “I love you so much, darlin’. You and Eliza… I wanna make ya mine.” He searched her eyes, his green ones full of love. “Y/N… will ya make me the luckiest man alive and be my wife? Be the mother of my children? Be the love of my life?”

Y/N let out a teary sound and nodded, her smile wide and overjoyed. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes!”

He pulled her into a fierce embrace, holding her close as he felt his emotions overwhelm. “God, darlin’, I love you so damned much.” He kissed her, sweet and tender, and whispered to her lips, “And once the doctor clears me for it, darlin’… I’m gonna show you. I’m goin’ make love to you all day, I swear.”

She let out a laugh, tinged with happy tears. “Beau… that’s not necessary. I know you love me. I know you love us.”

“I do, darlin’,” he said, placing a hand over her stomach, imagining the little life growing inside her. “The family you’re givin’ me. The family we’re gonna make together. I love you.”

Tag List: @spxideyver, @deadlymistletoe, @bitchykittenconnoisseur, @aarpfashionvictim, @stoneyggirl2

@foxyjwls007, @katastrophicmind, @globetrotter28, @deansimpalababy, @daisychaingirl

@nancymcl, @deans-baby-momma, @kickingitwithkirk

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[sturniozo]

Dead Moon

Vampire! Chris x Reader au

Not Proof-read

Hey guys! I know I have two works in progress already, but it's that time of year where my autistic ass binges twilight 300 times in a month and I've been in love with the idea of Vampire Chris. So, tell me whether or not you guys like this and if I should continue this or scrap it! I'm trying to make it seem twilighty, but also be its own thing. So, some background. The vampire lore will be very very very similar to twilights in many aspects. I wanted them to be older than in twilight so I could include smut because let's face it, we're all horny sluts and would go crazy for Vampire Chris.

Enjoy my loves! Please give me your thoughts and feedback!

Part one

I never gave much thought into how I’d die. I always assumed it would be something normal, and far into my future. A car crash, cancer, old age. Surely not during my college years, and not by my own choice. 

August twenty third was my last day at home, living with my family. My mother helped me move the last of my boxes into my car, crying and hugging me goodbye. I was leaving for college, one that was a few states away. I loved home. I loved the smell of the wet grass and the sun that always shined. I’d miss Cali. 

I was moving to a state where the weather is always gloomy and terrible. No, not Alaska, but Maine. Gloomy and rainy, my least favorite weather. But I was accepted into the University of Maine on a full scholarship. I’d be able to study anthropology without putting my mother out of any money. She struggles enough, being a single mother with three kids. 

My two younger siblings, Carl and Rachel, are twins. They’re five years younger than me and spoiled in their own ways. Carl never listens to anything anyone says and just does whatever he pleases with no repercussions. The only tragedy he faces is his decline in grades. He’s a straight D student. And don’t get me started on Rachel. She’s a liar and a thief, and the reason I’m so happy to move across the country. I had to put a lock on my bedroom door to keep her out and stop her from stealing my things. 

I never bothered my mother with their antics, she has her plate full enough. With a full time and part time job, barely being home, she can just barely pay the bills in the house my father had left us with, one that put my mother in debt as he left as they were still paying off the loan. I got my own job, so I was able to afford things for school, like a prom dress or maybe just splurge on some makeup. I was able to buy my own car the year prior to my leaving. 

I hugged my mother tightly after we had finished loading all my things into my car. “I’ll call as soon as I get there.” I told her. 

“Maine has terrible weather,” My mother stated. “What if the plane can’t land and-.”

“Mom.” I cut her off. “I’ll be fine.” I hugged her tightly once more before turning to my siblings. Despite their faults, I still love my siblings. It’s not fully their fault, they were only 15 at this time. They were even younger when our father walked out. Almost too young to remember him at all. Our mother has been working overtime for the past five years, ever since the bank had sent a letter saying if she doesn't keep up with the agreed upon amount for the payments, they’ll foreclose the house. So my siblings haven’t gotten to have much of a relationship with either of our parents. 

“Come here shit heads.” I said to them and motioned them to come over and hug me. My brother doesn’t hesitate, wrapping his arms around me tightly. 

“I can’t wait to have my own room.” Rachel said as I hugged our brother. 

“Can you at least wait until I’m gone before you make plans to take over my room.”  laugh as Carl lets go of the hug. 

“I’m sorry but I’m 15 and still sharing a room with my twin brother. I’ve been waiting for this since you got a job two years ago. I was hoping you’d move away sooner.”

”Wow. Okay, well you don’t get a hug then.” I mumble as I turn away from her. I always wished for a good relationship with her. But she turned out to be just like all the girls in high school I tried so hard to stay away from. But nonetheless, I love her. And I know somewhere in that black lump of coal she insists is her heart of gold, I know she loves me too.

“Y/n, wait.” Rachel said. I turned around to see her with her head turned away from me, but her arms were held out to embrace me. 

I hugged her tightly. “I’ll miss you so much.” I mumbled to her. 

“I guess I’ll miss you too.” She huffed in response. 

I let go of the hug. I stepped back and looked over my family one last time before I left for college. I got into my car, buckled up my seatbelt, and started off for the airport, my family waving me goodbye in the rear view mirror. 

The plane ride was tiring. I tried to sleep so I’d have energy to unpack at my new apartment, but it was difficult. I had always had difficulty sleeping. Most nights I would have been lucky to get four or five hours of sleep. 

I left the baggage area with all my belongings, thanking god that nothing was lost. I only had a few bags, as I didn’t own much. Of course, then I had to go find my car at a moving lot within the next few days. So, it was all uber and taxis from here. 

It was over an hour ride from the airport to my new apartment. Well, it wasn’t quite an apartment. It was a house, one that me and three other students had to share. Four bedrooms, each with their own bathroom and closet, built specifically for students. Almost a dorm, but believe it or not, more affordable. Especially since three others would help pay rent. 

I got out of the uber, where I met the landlord of the house. He held a clipboard and envelope, standing at the front door talking with who I assume must have been another student. 

From what I had known, I would have been sharing the house with two other girls and one guy. The guy was called Alexander, but he preferred to be called Xan. He essentially had the entire basement of the house to himself. It had one bedroom, a bathroom, its own living space and sliding glass door at the back of the house, where the ground had indented down hill. But it was also where we would all do our laundry, so it wasn’t entirely private. 

The main floor had one bedroom and bathroom as well, along with the kitchen, dining, and main living area. That space was taken by one of the girls, Maya. She was kind, supportive, and for some reason terrified of stairs. 

Then there was the second floor. That’s where Natalie and I had our rooms. And that’s all that was up there. Two bedrooms and two bathrooms. 

The house was on a street of many like it, each housing students from the University of Maine. And each of them, as I at the time rightfully assumed, was owned by the same man and his sons. 

The owner stood at the entrance. I made my way to him to greet him. “Hello. I’m Y/n.” I said to him, holding my hand out for him to shake. 

He looked over his clipboard before nodding, and handed me a key. “This is your only key, don’t lose it, and don’t ask for another one to give away. Keys are for residents only.” He told me, not even looking up from his clipboard. I grabbed the key, and felt his cold fingers. So cold they made me shiver. Does the heat not work in this place? It’s still August and it shouldn’t have been this cold. 

And it wasn’t. It was warm out that day. So warm I didn’t question why he was standing in the shade. He was so pale, another thing I didn’t question. We were in Maine, one of the gloomiest states in the country. This was probably the one nice day I’d ever see in my whole four years I was going to spend there. 

“I see you have already gotten a job here in maine?” He said to me, “Not an on site school job then like a dishwasher or librarian?”

I shook my head. “No,” I said, “I’ll be working as a waitress at a Cafe not far from the school.” 

He shrugged me off, and looked back at his clipboard. “As long as rent is due on time and you’re still attending school, that's all I care about.” He said. 

I nodded, gripping onto my bags as I began to walk into the house. 

“Your room is on the second floor, the one on the right. You’ll have a nice sized closet and your own bathroom.” He said. “One of your house mates is already here, Maya. She might help you settle in.” The landlord turned to me as I held my bags in my hands. “My name is Jimmy, and if you have any concerns or questions feel free to contact me, or my sons Chris, Matt, or Nick by these numbers. We’ll get back to you by the next day.” He said as he handed me a slip of paper. “They will also be staying in a house down the street, they all attend the University of Maine as well.” Jimmy explained.

I nodded in response, and put the numbers in my pocket to make a mental note to put them in my phone later. “So is this a family business then?” I asked.

Jimmy lifted his head to look at me. He smiled softly, almost a smirk. “You could say our family has been providing homes to students for hundreds of years.”

My eyes widened in surprise. Hundreds of years? What housing could they have provided at the start? I shook my head and walked into the house. It was best not to dwell on the tiny details right now. I needed to get settled in. The next day I would start my new job, one that I thankfully got over an online interview. 

I was a waitress at a very popular restaurant in Cali. My old boss had helped me get this job, as he had let me put him down as a reference on my application. 

It didn’t take long for me to settle in. I walked up to my bedroom, opened the door on the right, and was greeted with a bland room, with only a bed with no bedsheets, and an ikea bed frame and dresser. Honestly, I was thankful for those furnishings, since I hadn’t brought my own. 

I placed my bags on my bed, and sat next to them. I kicked my shoes off and started to root through my suitcase full of my clothes. 

My clothes and shoes took up two suitcases and a bookbag, my makeup in a small makeup case the size of a hefty purse, and my essentials such as deodorant and a toothbrush and hairbrush and other things were in a smaller bag. Then there was my school things that were all in my computer bag. No, I didn’t have much. I took everything from home and brought it here, and well, the things I didn’t bring, now belong to my sister Rachel.

I unpacked my clothes and shoes, putting them away in the closet and dresser. Both were less than half full when I had finished. I had put my computer on the dresser, trying to make it into a make-shift desk. I’d get one of those later, once I had made some money. I set my makeup case on the dresser as well, and put all my essentials in the bathroom. 

I started to make a mental list of things I would need. Towels, wash-rags, mirror, desk, chair. The last thing I pulled out of my bag were my bedsheets. I made my bed up, finished unpacking. I had put my suitcases under the bed after. 

I checked the time on my phone. It only took me half an hour to finish this. I left my room to make my way downstairs, hoping to meet some of my house mates. 

Instead I’m met with a taller man, one I know could not be Xan as we had all made a group chat prior to moving in, to get to know each other and sort out who’s room will be who’s, and house rules. Within getting to know Xan, I knew that he was far, far, too short to be this man. Xan was 5’4. He had express his wish for us not to tease him when we all finally met.

This man wasn’t the tallest, but certainly taller than Xan. He was helping one of the house mates, one who I later learned was Maya, bring her things in. The man had dark colored hair, like a brunette, but in a way that you could tell he was blonde at a younger age, and his hair had just gotten darker with age. He didn’t look too much older than me either. Maybe just a year or two? 

He was holding Maya’s boxed dresser like it was nothing, carrying it to her room. He didn’t look like he had the muscle to carry it with such little ease, but he did. 

He wore a red jacket over a black shirt, and loose fitting black jeans. Such warm clothes for the weather we’re having. I thought it was odd at the time, but didn’t question it. I knew people in high school that wore the same hoodie everyday to school, no matter the weather. 

He passed me as I stood on the steps of the stairs, locking eyes with me. He had dark piercing blue eyes, and pale skin surrounding them. His eyes looked sunken, like he’d never slept in his life but still was refreshed for the day somehow. 

His face contorted into a grimace when he passed me. Was I really that repulsive to him? He turned his head away from me as he continued to help Maya bring her things into her room. 

Maya was more prepared than I was. Or at least she had more things. She did bring a desk and towels and a mirror and her own dresser and bed frame. She came fully prepared to the house. 

The more the day grew on the more I realized I was the least prepared person of the house mates. Xan had already set up before I had even got here. He was just in the basement doing his own thing and ignoring everybody, which I would soon learn is normal behavior for him. Natalie settled in last, but just after Maya had finished bringing all of her things in. The man had left after helping Natalie, not saying a word to me the whole time, as if he was avoiding me completely on purpose. 

It didn’t take long for me to realize that he was one of Jimmy’s sons. I didn’t know which one just yet, but after I saw him get into a car with Jimmy after helping Natalie settle in, it clicked in my brain. 

Jimmy had said his sons were living in a house down the street, and that they attend the college as well. I wondered if I’d see this guy again, whether in school or sometime else, and if he’d always avoid me like that.

Maya came running up to me as I walked down the stairs to make my way into the kitchen. “Y/n, right?” She said. 

“Yeah, that’s my name.” I muttered back in response. She followed me as I went into the kitchen for a snack. 

“How do you feel about a block party?” She asked me. “The whole block is throwing a party for the week before school starts.” She stated.

“The whole week?” I asked. 

“Well, the whole week nights. All the houses are open doors and I wondered if you would be okay with our house being involved?” She looked at me with puppy eyes. 

I opened the fridge door and pulled out my bologna lunchable. I loved those snack lunches, when I still could eat food. “What did Natalie and Xan say?” I asked.

“Nat’s all in, she loves a party.” Maya exclaimed happily. “And Xan’s fine with it as long as the basement door is locked and no one disturbs him.” She looked down with a slight smile. I should have guessed then that Maya had a small crush on Xan, but at that time I was too wrapped up in myself to notice anything significant. 

“Okay, I’m in.” I said. 

Maya looked up with bright eyes. “Really?” She smiled big.

“Only if I can have the same rule as Xan.” I said. “I’ll lock my bedroom door and not be disturbed.” I crossed my arms, lunchable still in hand. 

Maya’s smile faltered slightly, but she still seemed happy and content with my answer. “Okay, deal!” She said with a smile. She left the kitchen, meeting Natalie in the living room, and told her the ‘good news.’ They both squealed in excitement and started planning decorations and themes. 

I took a deep breath and made my way back up the stairs and to my bedroom. Night parties for a whole week before school starts. I always hated parties. I never had close enough friends to go to them with. Even at high school events and dances I didn’t attend, I hated the thought of everyone seeing me in my loneliness. 

I sat on my bed and started on my lunchable. I opened my computer to put on a show to watch while I ate my snack. 

Hours passed, the sun had gone down. I was laying on my bed half asleep, trying to pay attention to my show but failing. I had almost drifted off to sleep when I heard footsteps and voices and music begin downstairs. I guess the party had started already. Figures, the one time I might sleep I get interrupted. 

I sat up in my bed, continuing on with my show. I made it through two episodes before feeling the need to stretch my legs. It wasn’t too late at night, only around eleven. I walked over to my window to give my legs a little bit of exercise, and looked upon the street. 

My eyes got caught in the stare of the man that helped Maya earlier today. He was standing on the street with a cup in hand, along with two guys that looked very, very similar to him. I was right to assume that those were his brothers. 

It didn’t surprise me that they would attend these block parties, with their family owning the houses on the block. It did startle me that as soon as I looked out my window, he was already looking at me. 

I felt a chill go down my spine. My hair stood on end as my lip quivered. The man’s brothers paid no attention to me, conversing with each other and presumably with the man who paid little to no attention to them. 

I took a step back and closed the blinds of my window, shuddering at the moment that passed. I walk back to my bed when there's a knock on my door. I looked up in confusion. I was sure no one would bother me, as Maya and Natalie blocked off the whole staircase. Only the main floor was accessible to the guests. 

I walked over and opened my door, and to my surprise, it was him. How did he get here so fast? Not ten seconds ago I saw him on the street outside the house, and now he’s at my bedroom door. 

“Who are you?” He asked me in a gruff tone. 

I paused for a second, confused about the question and what was going on. “What?” I managed to say. 

“Who are you?” He asked again. “What are you doing here?” He added. 

“I’m Y/n, I’m attending the University of Maine.” I said. “Who are you?” I added.

“Chris.” He said. “My family owns these houses.” 

I nodded in response. I had so many more questions. How did he get to my door so fast? Why did he glare at me earlier today? Why has he taken such an interest in me? Why was he staring at me from the street?

He stared at me for a moment. Glaring like he did earlier. He seemed disgusted and intrigued with me. Like I was a gross thing he wanted to figure out. 

I took a step back, uncomfortable with the situation. Chris seemed to take this as an invitation and swiftly entered my bedroom. 

He looked around, seeing the barren room. The soft blue bed sheets, ikea furniture that came in the room already. He looked back at me with the same confused look he always has on his face when he looks at me. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked. 

“Like what?” He said, looking away from me. 

“You know what I mean. You made that face when you saw me earlier today too. Like I sink or something.”

Chris scoffed. “Maybe you do.” He said with a smirk. 

My face reddened with embarrassment. I looked down and sniffed my shirt. Maybe I’m blind to my own smell, I thought. I smelled no different than usual, like fresh laundry and lavender body wash. 

I looked back up at Chris, who was watching me intently. I had grown more uncomfortable with the situation. 

“Can I ask you to leave?” I said. 

Chris shrugged. “You can.” He walked to the door and looked back at me. His eyes roamed up and down my whole body, causing me to shudder again. He made the confused and disgusted face once again before leaving. 

I shook off the discomfort before I sat back down on my bed. God I hope I don’t have to deal with that guy often.

Taglist: @bernardenjoyer @sturniolosreads @mbbsgf @xxsadlovexx @whicked-hazlatwhore @sturnsgirl1 @keira324 @stuniolobbg @timmyscomputer @meg-sturniolo @sturnioloenthusiast @nickdevora @hearts4chriss @carolinalikesthings @mattscokewhore @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07

[dawntheduckrb]

...I missed another week.

I, um, got really sick last week. At first I thought it was food poisoning, and then we thought it was a stomach bug, and then some other highly inconvenient supposed-to-be-monthly-but-never-is occurrence started, and after checking some family medical history, now we're thinking there's a chance I might have endometriosis :3 epic

I got better though ^-^

…and then managed to get a cold right after…

I'm functional, just slightly unconformable, and I can't breathe and my voice is a lot deeper than normal (I'm not complaining about that though lmao).

The week I missed was about whether the bible condones slavery, and unlike the last time I missed a week, I'm actually gonna go back and watch this one later. Maybe not until after the rest of the series is done, 'cause I can only handle this once a week. But, I'm still interested in what they had to say since it’s not something they talk about a lot. So expect that later!

That being said…

MASSIVE CONTENT WARNING 

THIS SHIT IS GROSS

This talks very blatantly about sex, because it seems they think that is the only thing LGBTQ+ people think about. If those topics make your skin crawl, maybe skip this one. Specific warnings for mentions of rape, sexual abuse, misogyny (AND misandry, if that one example the pastor gives counts), homophobia, transphobia, and general religion/religious themes. (I think that's the longest list so far)

With that out of the way:

Week 6: Is the Bible Anti-Gay?

Apparently this was the only message they preemptively received emails about. Some people messaged them to let them know they should lay into the LGBTQ+ community.  Our pastor said that this was not at all their goal. He also requested that the people in the sanctuary didn't clap for every single thing they agreed with, because of how it may come off as insensitive towards other people listening. A pleasant surprise for sure, given the attitudes towards the LGBTQ+ community common in evangelical circles where I live.

If you're reading this and somehow haven't seen me mention it before, I believe it's important to mention that I live in Southern U.S, right in the middle of the bible belt (yeehaw or something idk). Some progressive churches exist in other parts of the U.S, and they have been slowly been increasing in number which is great, but something like that is a sight to be seen down here. Churches here are notorious for their intolerance. So uh, spoiler alert, this sermon says that homosexuality is a sin and will have some pretty awful takes in regards to LGBTQ+ people. There wasn’t much of an introduction, so I'll just go ahead and start with the main points;

1.) Did Jesus say anything about homosexuality?

Some people tend to claim that Jesus said nothing about homosexuality, and that because of this, the bible doesn't really have a stance on it. However, this is untrue;

"'Haven’t you read the Scriptures?' Jesus replied. 'They record that from the beginning 'God made them male and female.'' And he said, ''This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.'”(Matthew 19:4-6)

Here, Jesus explicitly defines sex as meant to be between a man and a women within the confines of marriage. It is meant to be for pleasure, for procreation, and more than anything else, a presentation of the gospel that joins two people together. "This [verse] defines the true form of sex, not every perversion of it." Jesus here only provides us the model of what sex should look like. Anything that does not follow this model is a perversion; things like rape and adultery, for example.

2.) We Must Show both Grace and Truth

In today's culture, some churches are very affirming of homosexuality, even sometimes having gay pastors. Others are completely alienating to anyone who "struggles with same sex attraction or is living in a homosexual lifestyle". The bible has a different approach. The bible's response to homosexuality is graceful, and with truth.

"Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

“No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” (John 8:1-11)

If we are to follow the bible, we should be neither affirming nor alienating. He gives an example through the story where a woman who was caught committing adultery was brought to Jesus to be stoned. This was done as an attempt to put Jesus in a bind; to either continue his word of loving everyone, or to follow the law of Moses. This is when Jesus speaks that famous line, "He who is without sin should cast the first stone." Nobody was, and the men who brought the woman to Jesus began to leave. Jesus then lets the woman go, telling her to no longer sin. Here, we see an excellent example of grace and truth. Both affirming sin and alienating sin is the most unloving thing somebody can do. Jesus doesn't do either of those here; he doesn't condone the woman's sin (gives truth), but he doesn't look down on her either (extends grace).

Some say that the bible says not to judge others, so we shouldn't bother people for living differently than us. This is half correct. Yes, the bible says not to judge others:

"'Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.'"(Matthew 7:1-2)

But, not judging another person doesn't mean you shouldn't tell them what you believe to be true. You just shouldn't enact judgment on them by doing so, either through alienation or retaliation. "We must love our gay neighbor more than we love our position on sexual morality."

"You judge someone not when you asses their position but when you dismiss them as a person." -JD Greear

3.) Greater and Lesser Sins?

Some Christians see homosexuality as one of the worst sins. Is it still, of course a sin; any sex outside of marriage is, both homosexuality and heterosexuality. But some people hold homosexuality to a higher level of severity. However, the bible doesn't grade sin. There are different consequences for different sins, but all sin is equal in the eyes of god. Even still, even if it was ranked, sin itself doesn't send people to hell. The only thing that does this is rejecting Christ as your savior. The thing is though, if you begin to live your life with Christ, your behavior tends to change to reflect a life where you avoid sin. If our ability to be with god was based on our ability to be without sin, nobody would be going to heaven (a large portion of people were probably speeding on the way to church, he said. Which is likely correct). So no, homosexuality isn't the worst sin; sin isn't on a scale like that. But it is still not something that reflects life in Christ, so it is not something we should just accept.

The pastor changed subjects for a little bit in the middle of this, and went on a small rant about "tolerance." He said that tolerance used to mean that we should let people believe what they want. Nowadays, the meaning has been changed to say that tolerance means that you have to affirm and validate people's positions, no matter what they believe. He thought the definition was no longer right.

"We know that the law is good when used correctly. For the law was not intended for people who do what is right. It is for people who are lawless and rebellious, who are ungodly and sinful, who consider nothing sacred and defile what is holy, who kill their father or mother or commit other murders. The law is for people who are sexually immoral, or who practice homosexuality, or are slave traders, liars, promise breakers, or who do anything else that contradicts the wholesome teaching" (1 Timothy 1:8-10)

Once again, the bible says sexuality immorality is a sin, and explicitly mentions homosexuality here too. He made a comment here about people who will go and blast people who are homosexual, all while living with their girlfriend/boyfriend or actively watching porn or things like that. All of this is sexual immorality, and to put down others while living like this is hypocrisy at its finest. 

4.) We are all Broken and in Desperate Need of God's Grace

This is specifically refencing the common idea that people who are homosexual are born the way they are. That they have those desires innately, and so it shouldn't a sin to enact on them, because why else would that desire be there in the first place?

Our pastor agrees with this idea. He agrees in the sense that he says we are all born with improper desires. The whole, we are all born in sin because of The Fall concept. Everyone struggles with sin, and we need to be born again away from sin. He then gave a quote from a "former lesbian" (????former?), now a Christian author who is married to her husband with kids;

"Adam's fall rendered my deep and primal feelings untrustworthy and untrue." -Rosaria Butterfield

This is true of all of us; the Fall has given us all desires we can't trust. We all have a natural tendency towards sin. He furthered this by giving an example of a pastor he knows, who once said that he had a desire to have a sexual relationship with every attractive women he saw. That is an innate desire within him, and he needs to always repent from that. Those with same-sex attraction are in the same boat. He went on saying that this is also true for those with gender dysphoria. He says that people dealing with that are also fighting desire; those who claim they are a  "man/woman trapped in a man's/woman's body" have a desire to relate as another gender. These are all examples of fallen desires, and things we need to all repent from.

Our pastor then went on to say that the way we treat LGBTQ+ people today is not good. He gave a hypothetical example; if a young 15 year old girl were to go to the hospital with anorexia, then the hospital's first response would not be to change her body (he said, "they wouldn't just give her a liposuction"). They would try to change what's going on in her mind, so she begins to believe things about herself differently. But when children appear with gender dysphoria, people today think it's okay to permit drastic changes to their bodies, with things such as hormone therapy or "radically aggressive surgeries," when what really need to happen is for them to have their minds renewed. Especially with teenagers, who may feel like a different person every single day.

In all, we shouldn't focus on making a gay person straight. We need to focus on making those who are dead in Christ alive in god's word.

He somehow got off track again by talking about how when men are gay, sometimes it's because they come from a bad home life. They lacked a good father figure, so they are mostly just looking for love from any man to fill that hole. He also said he has never met a female who was a lesbian who didn't experience sexual abuse in their childhood. (he really emphasized the word female here like some kind of different species). He said, "Do they exist? Sure they do. I've not met one." Said those traumatic experiences as a child will change their desires. It's not okay to stay like that though.

"But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness. They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools. And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles.

So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved." (Romans 1:18-27)

If we look at creation, it is very clear that there is a creator. We may try to deny that because if we accept this, then we must also accept that there is a higher authority than ourselves. This denial will cause us to have misplaced desires. This is where all of our sinful desires come from, and everyone must turn away from them.

5.) Nobody is out of reach of the grace of God

"Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Corinthians 6:11)

All of these are sins that are a result of rejecting a relationship with Jesus. But when we accept that relationship, we are making the decision to try and live in a way that rejects sin. We may lose our battle with sin sometimes, and that's okay. We are all in a constant struggle against sin, but Jesus gives us the power to fight against it.

"When the Lord entered my world, I experienced that gospel-ignited 'expulsive power of a new affection.' The new affection was not heterosexuality, but Jesus, my Jesus, my friend and Savior. I was not converted out of homosexuality. I was converted out of unbelief." -Rosaria Butterfield

Saying no to sexual immorality, whether that be through pre-marital sex, an affair, rape, or homosexuality, is saying yes to Jesus. Intimacy with another person is temporary; intimacy with Christ is eternal. "Self-denial, not self-expression, leads to true fulfillment."

Some people may be able to free themselves of homosexual desire, while some may struggle with it for their whole lives. For those who will always struggle with it, is isn't because god is cruel. Our pastor explains why god would do this with a quote:

"God leaves sin in our lives to convince us until our dying day that we are in desperate need of him" -John Newton

"God's acceptance is the power that liberates us from sin, not the reward for having liberated." God gives us the tools we need to fight our battles; he doesn't win them for us. We need him to fight against sin, so God uses our battles with sin as a way to bring us closer to him.

Our pastor closed by saying that God loves us, that our sexual identity does not define us, and that anyone who is currently struggling with homosexuality is more than welcome to visit any of the deacons they had at the front of the sanctuary.

As for my thoughts.

1.) I think it's extremely unfair to equate falling in love with someone who happens to have similar biology to you to rape. I don't even think that needs to be said. I'm upset that this even has to be said.

2.) Note how not once did he mention love in this. There's no love to be had between two people of the same sex, according this ideology. Only sexual attraction. I genuinely don't think people like this can fathom the idea of loving before/without sexual attraction, or that people who are the same gender can love each other in the romantic sense of the word and not just the sexual. I say this because I was exactly like this a long time ago.

When I was a Christian, I made a very clear differentiation in my head between homosexual couples and heterosexual ones. I never thought of heterosexual relationships as inherently sexual relationships, and I'm ashamed to admit that at that time, I didn't think the same of homosexual ones. The only model I had for reference of a loving relationship were mothers and fathers, and anything else was unheard of and framed as surface level only. This is a position of complete ignorance. In my case and for others like me, it was genuine ignorance caused by indoctrination from my family, and has gone away after a lot of work and a lot of learning (not an excuse for my awful behavior towards some people, only reasoning). At a certain point though, if you have been confronted with the reality that people love for more than surface level reasons and still believe things like this, it becomes willful ignorance, and that is a horrible thing to parade around as holy morals.

3.) Tolerance still means living and letting be. The problem is, when you feel like letting people live their non-Christian lives is an egregious sin punishable by eternal death and hellfire, and start creating laws that target those people and harass those people and use your religious texts to make them feel like awful people for simply being happy due to those beliefs, you're not exactly doing the "let be" part of that sentence. Yeah, not every act done in the name of God is from God, but at a certain point you have to see the trend of how a good portion of your church is not exactly pleasant towards LGBTQ+ people. You don't have to affirm or validate anybody, but you shouldn't put others in harm's way just because they don't follow your religious text. The bible says that God has made it our choice to follow him, so even in the context of the word, nobody has a right to force someone to live under God's law. (Matthew 10:14 for an explicit example, but this is hardly a divisive viewpoint among Christians. Some just seem to forget about it at the polls).

4.) They don't just start pumping kids full of hormones. This literally doesn't happen. I don't even know how we got to gender dysphoria in a sermon on homosexuality but geez. There's massive amounts of therapy that goes into it, there's puberty blockers that are 100% reversible. And for adults, these surgeries and hormone therapies aren't framed as "radical" when they happen to cis people. This is common propaganda being pushed around to garner fear towards trans people, and is extremely harmful.

5.) Most gay people are missing love from their parents or have been sexually abused, thus causing them to be gay? Really?

6.) It is not common to want to sleep with every woman you see. He gave that example so casually, like he was announcing that his friend also likes to go bowling. He may not have mentioned it here, but I can say that in the past, we have had entire sermons dedicated to telling men how to not see women as sex objects, and how to instead respect women, and for them to love their wives and be good fathers. They are of the view that it is all to common for most men to be dealing with things like this. This case, is of course, severe compared to most, but the struggle with temptation is there for most men according to them.

Not all men are like this. Not all people are like this. People who don't read the bible don't always also want to have sex with every person they find appealing. If the only thing keeping someone from doing bad things (such as hitting on every attractive person you see) is an ancient tome, then there might be an internal issue that should be addressed. I don't like the notion that those without the bible have no way of fighting intrusive thoughts like these. These are intrusive thoughts, they're unwanted. The pastor who is dealing with this likely does have that as a natural reaction towards women he finds interesting, and it's a good thing he is aware there is a problem. Thats the most important step in moving away from things like that. That's not the bad part. The issue I have is, something like that cannot be corrected by just praying it away and asking for forgiveness from God every time you slip up. There's a bit of a viewpoint change towards other people that needs to happen there for that to show noticeable change. It's a bit concerning that this is coming from a pastor, but maybe I'm just being weird about that.

7.) (and last) How cruel can a god be to create someone born to live a life without love, while placing them in a position where they can't help but love those who they are not allowed to? You can't just get over it and make yourself love somebody. That's not how it works. To make a person force themselves to be absolutely miserable for decades in an attempt to prove their devotion to you? What kind of god would something like that? A narcissistic one, I'm inclined to believe.

I had a lot of words on this, and I had to condense them down because I could honestly rant on for hours about things like this. It hits me personally. I've dealt with gender dysphoria for far longer than I knew what gender dysphoria even was. I'm still coming to terms with that. I've felt strongly for people who I wasn't supposed to according to the bible, and I hated myself for it. I forced myself to push those people away. I'll never forgive myself for that.

In religions like this, it feels suffocating having these ideas crammed into you for as long as you remember. If you want out, there's a good chance you'll have to find a way to crawl out all on your own, because they likely won't help you. It's hard, but it's possible, and it's very much worth it. The friends I've made and the people I've met just within the past year are people I would have never met had I not began work on myself first. Online and irl; they are all wonderful people and I'm very happy to have known them. I know there's not really a whole lot of people who read these journal/summary/things, but I still hope that someone can read these and relate to them. If it helps even one hypothetical person, then it's worth posting (plus, it's very nice to get it out of my system, so this is partially for myself haha).You're not alone, and there are people who understand what you're going through, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel :) (it's a very long tunnel, but who said walking wasn't fun)

That's really all I can think to say for now, so as always, thank you for reading :D hopefully the next long writing I post will be that story I've been working on

Day of the Sun Waterproof Birds (religion tw in notes)

[tiredofsatansbullshit]

the overall lack of feedback is actually so disheartening so imma ask it:

[skitskatdacat63]

I have to write a relatively long German paper, and man its just so difficult for me. The pro side is that I can pick any topic I want, so of course I picked Charles VI. But I've literally not written any German in months, and I'm almost 100% sure our prof doesn't actually read them. I should just write and submit boy king fic....

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

....honestly i think part of the reason i don't give readers the version of my manuscript i intend to Query is because at that stage i absolutely cannot stomach the idea of making more revisions based on feedback lol

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Two of a Kind 8

Masterlist

NO TAGS. Don’t ask.

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; manipulation; criminal behaviour; cumplay/creampie, talk of contraception; written for smut, just being honest. Not all elements will be tagged/warned.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. It features dark!Ransom Drysdale and dark!Modern Charles Blackwood. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: Ransom and Charles are partner’s in crime but they’re looking for some pleasure after years of business.

Note: :)

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya.

Ransom paces. He’s agitated. Charles always has to be the big man. Always has to be in control. That’s not how this works. This is a partnership. They are equal, in all their gains. It’s why they’re so efficient. 

So how come he’s out in the cold and Charlie Boy is cuddled up nice and close with the kitty. He bets he’s in there getting a double dip. Fucking unbelievable. 

Ransom snarls and flops onto the couch. His satin boxers tickle his tip and he hardens. He hasn’t fully calmed down. Every time he thinks about how she squeezed him, he tingles and twitches. Fuck, that was good. Who would’ve thought?  

He sighs and stands up. He charges down the hall to Charles’ room then stops. He strides back to the front room and retraces his steps a second time. He snarls and cracks his neck. They had a fucking deal. They share. So why is he in there hogging her all to himself? 

He closes his eyes and pictures her shivering in the tub. The tears streaked down her cheeks and the glistening, sticky aftermath of fucking all over her skin. The way he covered her has him fully hard. Fuck it, he’s not waiting until morning. 

He turns the handle and swings the door inward. The room is dark. He can smell the chamomile. Charles’ snores rumble in the dark. He always sounded like a pig in heat when he slept. Ransom slows as his eyes adjust to the dim. 

He sees her squirm. She’s under Charles’ arm. He thinks she’s awake, he swears he can feel her eyes on him. He nears quietly, placing each foot carefully, and bends over the side of the bed. He measures’ his accomplices snores. 

He runs his fingertips down her arm and wraps his fingers around her wrist. He’s lucked out and he’s not gonna pass up the prime opportunity. He tugs her and she whimpers. He hisses out a hush. She gulps and slides out from beneath the blankets and Charles’ arm. 

Ransom stops and pulls her to him as the other man grumbles and shifts onto his stomach. He puts his hand over her mouth to quiet her gasp and she presses flush to him. She’s still naked. 

He turns her and walks her toward the door. He ushers her into the hall as she awkwardly mimics his steps. He reaches back to close the door and she whines. 

“Please, I’m tired--” 

“Shut up,” he snarls. “You can sleep, I’ll still fuck you.” 

“But... Ransom... I... I thought you liked me--” 

He chuckles, sure to keep it low. He nudges her down the hall. He points over her shoulder. 

“I like what you can give me. Well, more what you have. By nature, really. Nothing special but those holes do the job,” he smacks her ass and reaches past her to open his bedroom door. “So why don’t you show them off for me, baby.” 

She curls her shoulders, looking even smaller, and his balls throb. He feels full even though he was aching moments ago. Been a while since he felt so... ready. Usually, he just rolls over and prays he wakes up to an empty bed. 

She hesitates and looks around. He huffs. She’s a bit stupid. Her fear gets him going but it’s also fucking annoying.  

He marches up and grabs the back of her neck. He urges her to the end of the bed and guides her to kneel on the cushioned bench, like a fucking dog. Mm, he likes that. She’s his. His obedient little pet. 

Her back racks visibly as she quivers. He gets behind her and pushes down his boxers, the fabric catching on his swollen tip. He growls and stretches the elastic past his length. He lets the satin fall to his feet and grabs her hip. 

He steps closer and presses his tip along your ass. He smears around the precum already trickling out and shudders. His entire body pulses at the sensation.  

The surge drives him. He bends his knees and leans over her. She whines as he traces down past her ring, a moment of intrigue before he finds her cunt. Charles wouldn’t forgive him if he took her ass without him. 

He glides between her swollen folds and feels her flinches. He groans and rubs against her cunt. He pushes against her opening and she drones as she tenses. Her body resists his intrusion but it only goads him on. 

He snaps his hips and breaks through. She cries out and he once more brings his hand to her mouth. He puts his other on the bench as he bends over her and thrusts again. It takes several tilts for him to bottom out as she sobs into his palm. 

Her agony fills him with smoky delight. Fuck. Her walls throb, milking him as he tries to fight the pressure. He can’t blow already. 

He rolls his hips slowly, enjoying the feeling of her around him, so tight and slick, then the tingle of the naked air around him as he pulls out. In, out. He stands up, bringing her with him, and watches himself pump into her. Shit. Don’t, don’t, don’t. 

He exhales away the swell and carries on. He covers half her face with his hand and ruts harder and harder, pausing after each rippling slap of skin. He leans his head back as his eyes roll into his skull. Her fractured voice is smothered by his palm and she quakes uncontrollably at his mercy. 

He spasms as he erupts, unable to hold it in any longer. He fills her up as he fucks his cum into her until it squelches and leaks out. Even then, he doesn’t stop. He could keep her on him forever. 

👄

You stare at Ransom’s back. Your insides crawl and threaten to spill over. You stare at his muscles, the power woven through them, and you feel the weakness in you. 

His breath rises and falls as you lay in the soft hue cast through the window. You suppress a groan as you turn onto your back. It takes all you have to sit up. You hunch over and touch your pelvis as it scalds.  

You nearly stumble out of the bed. You limp to the door and glance back at his sleeping figure, focusing on him to make sure he isn’t awake. You slip through the door, leaving it slightly open, and creep down the hall. 

Your clothes are still on the floor. You dress in the grim night shade. The friction of fabric on your skin makes you wretch. You can’t stand even that. You never want to be touched again. 

You find your shoes and bag by the door. You stop to listen to the house as you put your coat on. You take out your phone before you flip back the lock. You sneak out into the whipping gales and steel yourself for the walk home. At least, you hope you find your way back. 

You open your maps app and follow the small blue arrow through the desolate night time. Each step is torture. When you trip off a curb, you feel it inside. 

You cry again, here and there, replaying the night in your head. Reliving your own mistakes. How could you ever believe Ransom? You really thought he was into you... 

Your mom can’t know. She’d be horrified. Or... what if she doesn’t believe you? 

That hurts more than anything they did to you. No one would believe you. If they did, they’d say it was your fault. You went to his house, you stayed there with both of them, you didn’t fight hard enough. No, you let them use you. 

You stop and sit on a bench. You know this part of town. You’re just too tired to keep going. You just need a minute. Or two. Or three. 

It takes you a while to get up again. Shivering, you watch the battery on your phone drain. You put it away as you recognise the street signs. It’s like a maze as you struggle to push through the pain and the blistering wind. 

You just want to go home and forget tonight. Forget it like it never happened. 

As you reach your front door, you fumble for the keys. You ease inside, keeping your steps soft and sitting to take off your boots. You hug your bag, huddling over it, and shuffle down the hall. The light flicks on above you. 

You blanch as your mother’s voice calls after you. You inhale and face her, hoping she can’t see your sadness. You force a smile. 

“Mom...” 

“There you are,” she says. “I’ve been waiting all night. I thought you’d be home before me.” 

“I’m sorry, mom, I... I lost track of time--” 

“You couldn’t call, or message?” 

“I know, mom. I—I—” You stutter. “I’m an adult.” 

She scoffs, “I know that but I worry.” 

“It’s okay--” 

“Okay? Out all night with a boy. You never know what could happen.” 

You sniffle, “mom.” 

“I’m just trying to look out for you, honey.” She girds and lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry, but... I’m just glad you’re safe.” 

She comes forward and you tremble. You want so desperately to hug her and cry against her. No, like you said, you’re an adult, you made this decision. 

“Well, did you have fun?” She asks. 

The question nearly bowls you over. You stare at her dumbly and shrug. She smiles and snickers, “oh, you don’t have to tell me everything.” 

Good, because you’re not telling her anything. 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

as ever like: no two things Need to be juxtaposed, much less like material vs material deathmatch Only One Can Be Good, much less am i thinking i have thee objective word on fuckall b/c who does and it's like perfectly boring & unserious whenever someone just throws out Takes that are just "i think...[xyz] is [adjective]" like okay.

but anyways thinking of how, though differing in execution in a lot of ways ofc, deh & bmc start out in a v similar place & explore a journey to self-acceptance from a despairing starting point....it feels like a lot of the hindrance in deh's exploration of its own Theme there is in like, hey. :) hand on your shoulder. it's okay b/c you'll be able to be more normal. whereas w/bmc it's that it's okay b/c you'll be able to be more abnormal

[pirefyrelight]

Some positive things that have been said about me so I don't forget them:

Expo lead says I plate omelets well today. She has said before my pastas also always look good.

Opener J prefers the way I close over the bitch who trained me. Flat top and steam tables specifically.

Chef D and FoH Manager D both are good about doing the Manager Polite For Morale "you did a good job today" type phrases and even if they sound canned I still appreciate them