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tvchi · 2 days ago

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Veiled Intentions

Disclaimers: DO NOT COPY OR REPOST MY WORK. DO NOT TRAIN AI WITH MY WORK.

Warnings: Mature Audiences ONLY: 18+, Minors DNI- Nudity, Sexual Intercourse, Gagging, Profanity.

Pairing: black male x black female Words: 3,829

A/N: Alright so I'm dusting my pen off because reading all of yalls Terry Richmond fanfics got my HOT!! I've been reading a lot of @megamindsecretlair 's stories as well as @hotgrlcece's stories and I thought I'd enter the chat. This story a long form, slow burn. There are some smut and sexual scenes, but they aren't the premise of the story. This is meant to be a suspense, romance so if you're just here for fucking only, this one is NOT for you. Your feedback is greatly appreciated because I'm really trying to get better. So Like, Comment, and Reblog as the spirit moves you. ❤️❤️🥰!

Museums were a calming space for you. You went there to clear your head of the plebeian controversies of the day and focus on depictions of the beauty left on the earth. It was a place where you could dream and dream within your dream. Your fingers planted forbidden kisses against the open sculptures and installations on the floor. The lights and colors on several paintings reminded you of schemes you've longed to bring together in your space and wardrobe. You smiled at how staring at someone else's creativity helped unlock yours.

"Ma'am, the museum closes in 10 mins," said one of the security guards.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea where the time went," you replied.

You made your way back to the museum's entrance, picking up a brochure about the next central art installation.

"I'm usually the one shutting down the place," a voice said from behind you.

You turned around to see where that low tenor came from. A pair of chiseled pecs masked in black cashmere met your gaze first. Stepping back, You met a pair of slate grey-blue eyes peeking through a set of thick lashes. Taking in his whole face, you noticed how his jaw seemed to be carved from marble; his toffee complexion glowed in the warm, dim light. When you didn't speak, he broke the thick silence with a warm smile.

"I'm Terry. Nice to meet you," he said.

"Y/N," you managed. It was just then that I caught my grave mistake. I swiftly turned on my heels and headed for the door.

"Wait, I wanted to know—" was all he could get out before you were already out the door.

In your line of work, you had to temper your emotions. The moment you thought that your countenance would betray what you were thinking or what you were about to do, you had to create a diversion to get you back on the offensive. From introduction to interrogation, no one should be able to read your thoughts. The moment you introduced yourself with your given name to a beautiful man you barely knew was the exact moment you needed to head home to the apartment where Adrian would be waiting for you with ingredients for tonight's date night. And you did. There was something about those eyes and how his smile reached his eyes and then diminished into a luscious grin like he knew a secret you didn't. It pulled you in.

You thought about it on the ride home. When you arrived at the house and turned the key into the front door, you were greeted by flowers and a card that read, "I missed you. Come find me". You smiled. Adrian was quite the romantic. Every Friday night, he had something special planned for you both to do that you would enjoy and give you all a chance to connect. A sweet breath of fresh air from the other men you came across while dating. He understood and met your needs. He treated you like an equal and championed your ambitions. Well… the ambitions you needed him to know about. He was always eager to make sure you wanted for nothing. The icing on the cake was the sculpted body wrapped in edible caramel coating and a face women could fight over. Taking off your coat and shoes, you sauntered through the living room and kitchen, trying to find him. You made your way up to the bedroom, thinking that maybe he wanted to skip foreplay and go straight to dessert tonight. When you didn't find him in the bedroom, you went back downstairs to pick up your phone and call him when you noticed the basement door was ajar and the lights were on.

"Adrian, you got me going all over this house looking for you. I almost gave up!" you said, feigning exasperation.

"I had to make sure you got all your steps in for the day," he retorted. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a sensual kiss. "Mmm, how was the museum? Did you see anything you liked?

"Oh, it was incredible! They were doing a showcase for local talent in the county, and they were amazing. Most of them were kids in high school. Their use of color and texture blew me away. This one artist creates portraits with staples and a staple gun. I mean, the kind of eye you must have to place each staple in its place!!!"

You could talk all day about art. As you recounted everything you had seen and heard, Adrian watched you. He loved how animated you got when you spoke about things you were passionate about. Your eyes would light up like embers, and your hands would move frantically, trying to depict the images in your head. The whole world went away when you spoke. At least, that's what it felt like for him.

"Yeah, and then I was walking out because the security guard said it was closing time and this guy came out of nowhere and–" you started.

"A guy?" Adrian asked, brows raised.

"Yes, a guy. They make those from the same factory you came from. Anyway, he came out of nowhere, and I didn't even hear him. He was too huge for me not to hear him. But we were the only two left in the entire museum. I don't think I've ever shut down a museum before." you finished.

"What did he look like?" Adrian queried again.

"What you gonna do? Track him down and ask him why he likes art. The whole territorial, jealousy thing was cute at first, but now you getting out of hand" you replied with a smirk. The truth is you had a weakness for men who didn't play about you. It was actually one of the first things that attracted you to Adrian. You could handle your own, but it was something about having someone go to bat for you that felt amazing. That wasn't something you grew up with in your family, but it became something you demanded out of all your friendships and romantic relationships.

Adrian shrugged off your reply and went back to sculpting something. This was the first time since you entered the basement that you noticed that your activity for the night was making clay sculptures.

"Oh! Baby, we're sculpting! I've always wanted to go to a class! How am I just now seeing this? I've been talking your ear off this whole time, and you didn't say anything!" you squealed.

"I know. Since you could never make it to a class, I would bring it to you. But you have to change into that apron and lose the top," he said with his back facing you.

You looked at him incredulously until you noticed that he was shirtless and wearing an apron.

"Fine, I'll play," you rebutted.

"You always do," he said sharply. "Oh, the titty bags too."

Peeling off your top to reveal your round, juicy breasts, you took the apron and wrapped the ties around your waist.

"I wasn't wearing one." Sitting down, you could feel his gaze on you as you tried to figure out how to start the machine. He stopped his project to assist you with yours. Placing a stool beside you, he put a mound of clay on top of it for you to work with and turned on your potter's wheel. Cleo Sol saturated the airwaves as you sculpted away. You loved the way the clay felt in your hands, and after feeling so inspired by the museum, you decided that you were going to make your very own artistic contribution to the loft. An hour passed before you felt Adrian's warmth behind your back and his hands on yours.

"What are you making," he asked curiously.

"A vase. Something that would look great on the coffee table."

"I can see that," he replied, baritone in your ear. He held his position, sitting with you between his legs, guiding your hands to sculpt. Minutes of silence went by while Jhene Aiko sang. You relaxed into him, and her words rang through the speakers.

"How do you feel right now," he inquired.

"Relaxed, calm, soothed, and seen," you said as you tilted sideways to look up at him, angling for a kiss. He brought his lips to yours and kissed you softly.

"Good," he said, giving you one last kiss. You turned your head forward to face the project hand when he spattered your face with the clay you two had been playing with.

"I KNOW you just didn't spray me with clay," you yelped.

"Naw I did that. I did all that," he said with a grin as he gathered more clay and smeared it all over your neck, chest, and apron. You gasp.

"Oh, is this what we're doing? Bet! You took a chunk of the clay you were still molding on the wheel and flung it at him. Surprised at how quick you were, he retreated to his side of the room to gather more clay. You managed to outmaneuver him and smear some of the clay in his face. Seeing he had few options, he lifted you in the air and tickled you back to the floor. Once he had you pinned, he poured the rest of the wet he was working with all over you. Satisfied with the mess he made, he let your arms free as he sat back on his heels and laughed.

"You look amazing in clay," he grinned as his genuine laughter transitioned into a sultry smirk.

"It almost went into my mouth!" you yelled.

"Yeah, I know. You noticed anything about the clay?" he asked.

"Should I?" you asked. Still smirking, he smeared the clay on your collarbone all over his index finger and dipped it into your mouth.

"It's…. it's.. it's chocolate!" you exclaimed.

"Yup, and since I made this mess, Imma lick you clean," he retorted seductively. He pounced, liking the sides of your face and neck. Planting soft kisses in between each taste, he gently removed your apron.

Next, he worked on the wide-legged trousers you were wearing. Lifting you with one hand to slide your pants down your thick, toned ass, he made sure to slide your panties down with them. Freeing your hips, toned thighs, and juicy calves from those pants, he panted your now naked lower half with the chocolate spewed on his chest and abs as he laid on top of you, sucking your nipples. You moaned. The familiarity of his tongue caressing you is something you had always yearned for. He has studied you in more ways than one, and your spots are something he is well versed in. He worked his way down to your stomach, licking and kissing the chocolate clay from your belly button. The warmth of his mouth mixed with the cool air made you tremble. Anticipating the euphoria that would accompany his final stop on his sojourn south, your breath hastened and you closed your eyes.

"Ohhhh," you moaned as he hit your sweet center. He took his time licking the mixture of nectar and truffle, ensuring he did not miss a skin stitch. As you worked your hips on the pressure of his tongue, he grabbed your ass to pull you close. His fingers worked his way inside you, stroking your walls as he continued to assault your pearl.

"Mmmhm," he let out, satisfied with how you were tightening around his fingers, ready to combust.

"Adrian," you cried, "I need you."

He slipped his fingers from her core and slipped them inside her mouth. She tasted as good as he expected.

"All you had to do was ask, baby," he replied.

He tore his belt from his jeans and threw it on the floor. He unfastened the denim and let it fall to the floor. Threatening to burst through his navy boxers was her prize. She reached up to claim what was hers. Freeing his girth, she marveled at its beauty. His shaft, the toffee color with perfectly placed veins coursing through to its tip. Its head was a cool caramel shade, glistening with the pre-cum that leaked from it.

"You gonna stare at it, or you gon do something with it," he teased.

You reached around him and, grabbing a handful of the edible clay, stroked his shaft. He whimpered at your touch. You attempted to hide his shaft in the depths of your throat.

"Fuuuuuck" he choked. You were on a mission to suck his soul out of his dick. Your jaw slacked, and you relaxed your throat, taking him all in. He grabbed the back of your head, holding it in place while he fucked your throat. As saliva spilled down the sides of your mouth, you used the moisture to coat your hands. All lathered, you massaged his balls and tent.

"Shiiit," he growled, "Alana, I'm about to….fuck!" were the last words he said before she exploded in your mouth. You swallowed every last drop, and he leaned on the table behind him, still turning what was left of his pottery project. You looked up at him as you milked the last drop from his shaft.

"They gon' have to pry you outta my cold, dead hands. You know that?" he asked. You laugh as you wipe the corners of your mouth.

"I ain't never coming up off you. Shit!" he said.

"That's good to know," you chuckled.

He helped you up off of your knees.

"Round 2. Upstairs. Beat me there." You watched as he swelled back to his original strength. Lit with excitement, you replied, "Yessir," and headed upstairs. You knew he could take a minute getting upstairs because he would probably clean up a little. If there was one thing Adrian was, if he wasn't crazy about you, it was neat. He wasn't afraid to make a mess, but he wasn't fond of leaving it there either. You washed off the rest of the clay in the shower and made sure to hit your hotspots. You stepped out of the shower and hurried to lotion up and place your scents on as you heard him walking up the steps. Once he found you, he pulled you in for a kiss.

"What time do you have to be up tomorrow?" he asked.

"Around 7, why?"

"You'll be cutting it very close," he replied, his dark eyes glued to her hips and thighs. He led you to the bed and laid you there gently. Removing the rest of his clothes, he joined you on top of the covers. You two made love all night. Where you were rough, he was gentle. Where he was deep and deliberate, you were quick and light. The two worlds collided again and again, leaving both of you with multiple organisms and a yearning to produce climaxes even more extraordinary than the last. Finally, at 4:45 am, you conceded. Rolling over, drained yet satisfied, you fell asleep to the soft pressures of him kissing the length of your back while messaging your ass.

An hour and a half later, the sound of your alarm screeching causes you to bolt from your place under his arms. As you switch the alarm off, you slowly get out of bed. You felt like shit. You were sore, your neck ached, and you felt hungover, given your hour of sleep. As you reached the bathroom, you stopped and peered at Adrian. You would kill him if he weren't so damn fine. He kept you up all night on purpose for making him give up that first nut so fast—ever the competitor. Finally, when you got to the bathroom, you did your entire morning routine and dressed. The warm shower did help the soreness a little, but you would need coffee and lots of it for the tiredness. Feeling petty, you decide that you wouldn't be the only one suffering that morning.

"Wake up!" you scream, jumping on Adrian, almost knocking off the bed.

"What happened? Whats going on? You okay?" he blabbered, alarmed yet still half asleep.

"Everything is fine. I just wanted you to take me to work today," you said, planting a syrupy smile on your face.

"Alana, you have a car. I put gas in it yesterday morning. I took it for an oil change last weekend. Your brakes are new, and none of your lights are on. You can't take yourself to work?" he asked, slightly annoyed.

"I mean, I can, but I want you to take me. I love it when you take me to work. I like to remind all of them hating ass bitches that I'm fine and fucked— regularly," you lied.

"Uh-huh," he chuckled. "So it don't got nothing to do with the fact that you were up all night tryna out do me and you got an early day but I don't?" he asked in disbelief.

"Do you think I'm THAT petty?" you asked, feigning innocence.

"Yes. But imma take you anyway," he said, getting out of the bed and heading to the bathroom.

"Why?" you inquired curiously.

"To let all them hating ass niggas waiting in the wings to know that you're mine and you're fucked. Well," he said in finality. He freshened up in the bathroom and threw on a Fear of God sweat set. He grabbed his sneakers and headed down the stairs. He looked good even when he was annoyed and half asleep. It wasn't fair, but I never complained. In fact, I was calculating how late I could be getting to work in case I wanted another quick session.

"Move that ass, Alana," his voice echoed through the apartment.

You made your way down the steps, threw on your pumps, grabbed your briefcase, and opened the door.

You both headed outside; he opened your door and waited for you to get in. He darted around and got in the driver's seat. The car ride was silent. You looked out the window, taking in the city's sights. Kids playing in the cool autumn air in jackets, shop owners sweeping the outsides of their shops, the homeless at bus stops turning to the morning air and the bodies passing by. The city awakening after its long slumber was a work of art you had hoped to capture one day in a photograph or on canvas. This was home. Arriving at the front entrance of the Library of Athena at Pembroke University, Adrian hopped out of the car, went around to your door, and opened it. He held your hand as you climbed out of the X7.

"Damn, I forgot to remind you about taking lunch out of the refrigerator," he said. He rummaged through his pockets until he found his wallet. He handed you a hundred-dollar bill. When you looked at him puzzled, he added, "That's all the cash I have on me. Use it for lunch."

"I don't need this much, Adrian. It's okay. I'll eat something from the cafe. It's usually free for faculty," you replied

"Nah, eat something good today. You went through it last night," he smirked as he kissed your lips, making sure to remind you of last night. "Have a good day," he added.

"You too," you said, leaving him leaned up against the car, watching you walk into the grand double doors of the library. Before making it inside, you turned to see if he was still watching. He caught your eye and winked, making you blush. He climbed back into the car after giving a nod to some students who were passing through and drove off.

You held that interaction and the night before in your heart as you straightened your face and walked down the long corridor of the library. You checked if anyone was watching or following you before you made a sharp right and opened the doors to a stairwell. Going down two flights of steps, you opened the door and made a left turn down another long hallway. Awaiting you at the end of the hall were two uniformed men. They parted ways, letting you into a service elector. You pressed "3". As the elevator descended, you opened your briefcase and switched tags, keys, and badges. You grabbed the claw clip stashed in another bag compartment and pinned your hair up. The compact mirror at the bottom of your bag contains the contacts you've been made to wear. Opening it, you placed the soft contacts from your eyes into their placeholders and put a pair of clear-framed glasses on instead. Once the elevator doors opened, the United States seal and coat of arms greeted you from their place on the floor. You smiled and nodded at everyone who turned to look at you from their desks. You made your way to your desk and quickly got settled before opening your computer to take on the tasks for the day.

"Now I know you didn't just waltz in here and not say a word to me about last night!" exclaimed your co-worker and good friend Brooke. "And from the way you tried to walk up those steps, I know he hit it GOOD. Spill now!"

"You know, when you're looking at surveillance all day, you're supposed to be looking for possible threats, not watching me!" I said, feigning annoyance.

"I review footage I think is pertinent to national security and honey, that man, very pertinent!" she stated as she nodded profusely. You laughed.

"You're a mess," you said.

"Y/N, my office, please," Deputy Assistant Director Moore barked.

"Damn, what did you do?" Brook asked.

"Hell, if I know," you replied, confused.

"Well, you better get up there. From how his eye blinks, he's not in a good mood today," she said.

You walked up the flight of stairs and knocked on the door.

"You wanted to see me, sir," you asked as he opened the door for you.

"Yes. I wanted to receive an update on your current assignment. But before we do that, I want to introduce you to the ASAC of the criminal division. Special Agent Richmond. Richmond, this is SA Olisa, one of our best and brightest here in the intelligence division.

"That's kind of you to say, sir," you replied politely as you slowly turned your attention to the tall figure in a black suit approaching you. Tilting your head upwards, you realized you recognized those slate grey-blue eyes and thick lashes. That glow of toffee that scrambled your senses stood a foot away from you with a slight smirk on his face, most likely from the fact that you were gawking at him, trying to make sense of what he was doing there. That low tenor you remember vividly, once again, broke the silence.

"Nice to meet you; my name is Terrance. Everyone calls me Terry." Tags: @thecapodomme @writers-of-tmblr @melaninpov @spaceslutsworld @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @mymusicbias @the-black-label @master-builder42 @miraculously-dumb-bitch @megamindsecretlair @hopefulromantic1 @tranquilfandomer @thadelightfulone @vivalaorgasm @hotgrlcece @planetblaque @blackgurlnhermoods @sweettea-and-honeybutter @andriaharris @kumkaniudaku @theblacklewinsky

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innergoateesong · 3 days ago

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The Only Exception ~ Vivianne Miedema

hey 👋, this is my first fanfic and i’m not too sure on it. i’ve been reading the ones on tumblr for about a year so hopefully i’ve gained some knowledge.

This is my work, kinda just made it up as i went. Hope it all makes sense and you enjoy it if you choose to read it. I’m open to feedback and any suggestions on how to improve or any fic recommendations. Thank you.

This is a song fic based off the song The Only Exception by Paramore. Mainly a fluffy fic with a tiny bit of angst dusted in the cracks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was younger, I saw my daddy cry And curse at the wind

I’ve always been an angry person, i don’t allow myself to feel anything but anger. The tears that have ever slipped my whole life have not been from pain, only anger.

He broke his own heart and I watched As he tried to reassemble it

Childhood was tough, but isn’t everybody’s? I’ve always had the view of the world that doesn’t include me. Almost as if i feel i don’t deserve to have emotions and i’m just going through life on autopilot.

And my momma swore That she would never let herself forget

I didn’t grow up with family role models, i barely saw my parents and i never knew either of there families, my life was myself, in my room with chunky headphones in or on the pitch running to get my brain quiet. Nothing quietened my brain more than the pitch.

And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist

Even after moving to london to join one of the top clubs in the top english league i hid myself away. I walked into training with tunnel vision, headphones on, no eye contact, no verbal communication. and i walked out the exact same way.

For three years.

But darling, you are the only exception You are the only exception

It probably didn’t seem like it to my teammates but i really liked it at arsenal. My dream club. The 2018 season was when i first made some human contact. Viv started bringing my water from the cafeteria to the pitch for me. She smiled, gently. “Here, you forgot it.” “Oh cheers.” Let’s just say that wasn’t the only time i ‘forgot’ my bottle.

You are the only exception You are the only exception

I knew love wasn’t for me. I got a wee cockapoo and that was the only connection i needed. Until Viv sat next to me for breakfast one Wednesday morning. A soft grin resting on both our faces but a comfortable silence the way she must’ve known i liked it. A warm whisper appearing, “What are you listening to this morning?” “Just some silly love song.” “They’re my favourite.”

Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul That love never lasts

Now instead of an empty table with myself another seat was occupied. Breakfast was filled with faint smirks and slow songs ringing through the headphones we eventually shared, learning the tunes the other would hum along to and skipping the ones that would make them both scrunch up their noses. Before heading to the pitch where not another look is exchanged.

And we've got to find other ways to make it alone Or keep a straight face

“Oi, Viv. You and y/n have been getting close, what are they all about?” “y/n’s sweet.” Viv would glance at you in training and whenever else she got the chance but your hard facade was always held too strong for her to get to know you. Once when you got home and comfortable on the couch with Daniel, your cockapoo, there was a picture on instagram of breakfast earlier that day. Fans comments around you and Viv being an unexpected duo took over. You don’t like attention.

And I've always lived like this Keeping a comfortable distance

The next day viv was left alone. You wandered in right before training started, only having time to quickly change. A worried glance from viv was not unnoticed but definitely ignored. You had been letting her in. She was making you feel emotions you swore you never would. That training session didn’t go well. Everyone had seen you taking the game seriously but this was another level, Jonas even sent you in early with Steph to hopefully calm you down. After a rant to Steph about hating the frustration you felt you went to the gym to run. Running gets the anger out.

And up until now I had sworn to myself That I'm content with loneliness

This routine continued. Unfortunately leading to being taken out of the starting eleven and even sometimes getting taken out of the match day squad altogether. You weren’t an international player yet, the coach still wanted the older, more experienced players on their team. The international break closest to christmas brought viv the courage to chat to you. She had an injury so the netherlands had to play without her, leaving her with the few players left. Including y/n.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

She spoke. You listened. It sounded like she actually cared, she wanted into your mind, she wanted you to open up. You did. Punching walls, tears streaming, voice raising. You went all out. Then she took you home, home to your safety where you automatically resumed your place under a blanket left on the couch from the day before. Viv took her place, lifting your feet onto her lap and giving them a slight massage over the blanket. Daniel raced to sit on your stomach happy to snooze off right there.

But you are the only exception You are the only exception

“Nobody’s ever been in this house apart from me and daniel. I’m glad it’s you who is here.” Although the dramatics of the morning were still clawing at the back of y/n’s mind, she was so glad it ended up in viv being introduced to her safe space. “Would you like to chat?” “I might fall asleep but i’m willing to listen to you?” And that’s how they dozed off together to Viv’s light mumbling about all she could think of.

You are the only exception You are the only exception

Listening to the sad songs through shared headphones was a magical experience but when Viv started playing them on the drive to and from work everyday on the car speakers you felt as though you were in dreamland. In the car Viv would sing along to some choruses and y/n would even let out a few hums here and there. The silent bond they had created meant the world to both of them and they both knew it but it was never said out loud. Things started to change when they carpooled together every single day.

I've got a tight grip on reality But I can't let go of what's in front of me here

We were in it together. Whenever y/n started to pull away viv’s grip on them would tighten, when viv’s injury set her back slightly y/n brought her up to breathe in some type of distraction. They started spending meals together, more than just breakfast. They’d go out for dinner or have a nice lunch at one of their homes. They’d usually end up together on a couch to see through the night, making it easier to carpool was their excuse to stay. When Viv got better and was allowed on the plane home to the netherlands on christmas eve it was a hard moment.

I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Waking up to viv leaving was hard. I stayed still in bed as she got changed and put her suitcase to the door. A quick, dainty pair of lips were placed to my forehead as i flickered awake. “Please don’t go it’s cold out there.” y/n whined as a weak chuckle left Viv’s mouth. “My flight is at 6, i’ll message you when i land. Merry christmas princess.” with one last hug and a pat on the head to daniel viv swiftly grabbed the rough handle of her suitcase and made it out the door.

You are the only exception You are the only exception

Waking up to snow made you almost the happiest you had been for a while. A tinge pulling on your heart at the fact someone was no longer resting on the other side of the bed. You always yearned for a white christmas but this was daniels first time even seeing snow and you knew viv would not be happy if you didn’t at least film it for her to see. So as you got wrapped up in a big cozy jumper and viv’s huge coat that she had left behind you got your phone out and started to ring her. “Hoi lieverd.” “Good morning Vivvy,” y/n said as she turned the camera to face Daniel jumping at the door. “It’s his first snow encounter, we wanted you to witness it.” The door swings open and the wee cockapoo goes running. That call lasted over two hours. They were ready to fight the toughness that came with distance.

You are the only exception You are the only exception

When did y/n finally admit feelings for Viv? As soon as they picked Viv up from the airport. It was a silent look and a quick peck that sealed the deal. No words other than an, “i missed you” were spoken, just the way they like it.

You are the only exception You are the only exception

Being with Viv almost full time for months showed y/n that Viv is quite the yapper. She can chat about football, recipes, her family, travelling, and even y/n herself for hours and hours on end. Breakfasts at training did not include headphones anymore unless it was a particularly hard day, instead the two were often caught chattering among eachother by teammates. They even started to invite a couple teammates to sit with them every now and then. Unfortunately they had to make the decision that Daniel was getting too big to sleep in their bed with them anymore so they bought him his own to put on the floor next to the shoe rack and he would be allowed in for ten minute cuddles every morning.

You are the only exception You are the only exception

Viv came into my life when i needed a lot of fixing. I am incredibly grateful for the way our connection turned me around. That christmas alone was tough but now with Vivvy i know i shouldn’t have to have another like that. I feel exceptionally lucky for her to accept me and how she makes me feel happy to fully give myself to her.

And I'm on my way to believing

Oh, and I'm on my way to believing.

Love isn’t such a horrible idea anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ sorry for the rushed ending but i hope this helps fills a bit of the gap in viv fics (we need moreee)

Thank you so much for reading 💃

#vivianne miedema #viv miedema #woso x reader #woso #woso imagine #womens football #arsenal women #arsenal wfc #man city women

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lucentloo · 2 days ago

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Sleeping beauty

Summary: When Remus walks through the apartment he is greeted by the sight of his two lovers sleeping on the couch, just a fluffy, sleepy moment between the three.

Poly!Wolfstar x Fem!reader

Wc: 663

Content Warnings: Fem!reader, fluff, swearing (Sirius has a potty mouth for maybe two seconds), sleeping, naps, raining, no angst, maybe a little, idk, the L word (love), idk this fic is just pure fluff,

a/n: Hey lovely people who decided to read this! This would now be my second fic, (yes I will be counting every fic I write sorry if that annoys you but I shall never stop), and I’m already blown away by the feedback that my first fic has gotten, every time I get a notification it just makes my day! I’m trying to write for every character I have on my masterlist so there is at least one story for you guys to read, if you have any suggestions please share!

The creak of the apartment door opening echoes through the living room, startling Sirius from his short nap. He takes a deep breath as he looks down to make sure you’re still asleep. Your warm body on top of his and your steady breaths were what caused him to doze off in the first place.

He looks up as Remus places his jacket on the back of an armchair and makes his way to the two of you, leaving his muddy boots at the door. The gentle ambience of the rain was the reason for this unprompted, but not unwelcome, nap sesh.

As Remus sits down by yours and Sirius’ legs on the couch Sirius narrows his eyes. “Be careful darling, this is the most sleep she’s had all week and I’m not afraid to kick your ass. No matter how pretty it is.” Sirius unconsciously tightens his grip around you to make sure you stay safe and asleep in his arms.

Remus chuckles as he brushes a piece of your hair behind your ear before pressing a light kiss to your forehead. “I would never dream of waking up our sleeping beauty, she deserves all the rest we can provide her.” Remus reaches up and brushes Sirius’ hair through his fingers and scratches his head. Sirius hums and leans into the nice feeling. Before he knows it his eyes have shut closed again.

Sirius accidentally flinches awake when he hears a dog barking outside and in turn stirs you back into consciousness. You groan as your eyes open. The apartment is dark except for a candle that was lit on the coffee table. You sigh as you sit up on Sirius, his hands coming to rest on your hips with an apologetic frown on his face. “I’m sorry, Dolly, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” His hands squeeze your hips to further prove his point.

You wave your hand in a dismissive gesture. “It’s fine Siri, I shouldn’t have fallen asleep any way.” Your voice is soft and quiet as you sigh. To your side you feel Remus stand up and sigh.

“You’re allowed to sleep love, it’s a basic human necessity.” You hear him whisper in your ear as Remus places his hands on your waist to pick you up and help you stand. He keeps one hand on your back as he helps Sirius up next. You lean into the warmth Remus always seems to provide and let your eyes flutter shut.

Sirius coos and kisses your cheek. “Baby you're so tired, aren’t you?” He asks in a low enough voice that it could be considered a whisper. You almost shake your head but know you can’t deny it anymore and nod your head before tucking it into Remus’ chest.

“Let’s get to bed first dove, then you can sleep for as long as you want, yeah?” Remus says with a sort of fondness only you and Sirius are allowed to hear. That thought makes you smile slightly and it doesn’t go unnoticed by the other two. Sirius pokes your cheek with a smile of his own.

“What’s the smile for love? I mean don’t get me wrong I love your smile, it’s so pretty and warm and-” You interrupt his very short ramble with a gentle kiss. It’s not quick but it’s not slow either, somewhere in between. It’s a kiss that shows how much love and care we feel for each other without needing to say the words. We say the words anyway.

“I love you Siri, and you Rem,” You say with a small smile.

Remus smiles as Sirius says the same. He wraps the both of you in a hug, you in the middle and Sirius on the other side so Remus can wrap his arms around the both of you. “You don’t know how lucky I am to have you both,” he whispers, “now let's get to bed, we all need our beauty sleep.”

#poly!wolfstar x reader #wolfstar #marauders #sleeping beauty #fluff #cuteness #kisses #couples #remus x sirius #sirius x reader #remus x reader

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dawntheduckrb · 1 year ago

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...I missed another week.

I, um, got really sick last week. At first I thought it was food poisoning, and then we thought it was a stomach bug, and then some other highly inconvenient supposed-to-be-monthly-but-never-is occurrence started, and after checking some family medical history, now we're thinking there's a chance I might have endometriosis :3 epic

I got better though ^-^

…and then managed to get a cold right after…

I'm functional, just slightly unconformable, and I can't breathe and my voice is a lot deeper than normal (I'm not complaining about that though lmao).

The week I missed was about whether the bible condones slavery, and unlike the last time I missed a week, I'm actually gonna go back and watch this one later. Maybe not until after the rest of the series is done, 'cause I can only handle this once a week. But, I'm still interested in what they had to say since it’s not something they talk about a lot. So expect that later!

That being said…

MASSIVE CONTENT WARNING

THIS SHIT IS GROSS

This talks very blatantly about sex, because it seems they think that is the only thing LGBTQ+ people think about. If those topics make your skin crawl, maybe skip this one. Specific warnings for mentions of rape, sexual abuse, misogyny (AND misandry, if that one example the pastor gives counts), homophobia, transphobia, and general religion/religious themes. (I think that's the longest list so far)

With that out of the way:

Week 6: Is the Bible Anti-Gay?

Apparently this was the only message they preemptively received emails about. Some people messaged them to let them know they should lay into the LGBTQ+ community. Our pastor said that this was not at all their goal. He also requested that the people in the sanctuary didn't clap for every single thing they agreed with, because of how it may come off as insensitive towards other people listening. A pleasant surprise for sure, given the attitudes towards the LGBTQ+ community common in evangelical circles where I live.

If you're reading this and somehow haven't seen me mention it before, I believe it's important to mention that I live in Southern U.S, right in the middle of the bible belt (yeehaw or something idk). Some progressive churches exist in other parts of the U.S, and they have been slowly been increasing in number which is great, but something like that is a sight to be seen down here. Churches here are notorious for their intolerance. So uh, spoiler alert, this sermon says that homosexuality is a sin and will have some pretty awful takes in regards to LGBTQ+ people. There wasn’t much of an introduction, so I'll just go ahead and start with the main points;

1.) Did Jesus say anything about homosexuality?

Some people tend to claim that Jesus said nothing about homosexuality, and that because of this, the bible doesn't really have a stance on it. However, this is untrue;

"'Haven’t you read the Scriptures?' Jesus replied. 'They record that from the beginning 'God made them male and female.'' And he said, ''This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.'”(Matthew 19:4-6)

Here, Jesus explicitly defines sex as meant to be between a man and a women within the confines of marriage. It is meant to be for pleasure, for procreation, and more than anything else, a presentation of the gospel that joins two people together. "This [verse] defines the true form of sex, not every perversion of it." Jesus here only provides us the model of what sex should look like. Anything that does not follow this model is a perversion; things like rape and adultery, for example.

2.) We Must Show both Grace and Truth

In today's culture, some churches are very affirming of homosexuality, even sometimes having gay pastors. Others are completely alienating to anyone who "struggles with same sex attraction or is living in a homosexual lifestyle". The bible has a different approach. The bible's response to homosexuality is graceful, and with truth.

"Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

“No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” (John 8:1-11)

If we are to follow the bible, we should be neither affirming nor alienating. He gives an example through the story where a woman who was caught committing adultery was brought to Jesus to be stoned. This was done as an attempt to put Jesus in a bind; to either continue his word of loving everyone, or to follow the law of Moses. This is when Jesus speaks that famous line, "He who is without sin should cast the first stone." Nobody was, and the men who brought the woman to Jesus began to leave. Jesus then lets the woman go, telling her to no longer sin. Here, we see an excellent example of grace and truth. Both affirming sin and alienating sin is the most unloving thing somebody can do. Jesus doesn't do either of those here; he doesn't condone the woman's sin (gives truth), but he doesn't look down on her either (extends grace).

Some say that the bible says not to judge others, so we shouldn't bother people for living differently than us. This is half correct. Yes, the bible says not to judge others:

"'Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.'"(Matthew 7:1-2)

But, not judging another person doesn't mean you shouldn't tell them what you believe to be true. You just shouldn't enact judgment on them by doing so, either through alienation or retaliation. "We must love our gay neighbor more than we love our position on sexual morality."

"You judge someone not when you asses their position but when you dismiss them as a person." -JD Greear

3.) Greater and Lesser Sins?

Some Christians see homosexuality as one of the worst sins. Is it still, of course a sin; any sex outside of marriage is, both homosexuality and heterosexuality. But some people hold homosexuality to a higher level of severity. However, the bible doesn't grade sin. There are different consequences for different sins, but all sin is equal in the eyes of god. Even still, even if it was ranked, sin itself doesn't send people to hell. The only thing that does this is rejecting Christ as your savior. The thing is though, if you begin to live your life with Christ, your behavior tends to change to reflect a life where you avoid sin. If our ability to be with god was based on our ability to be without sin, nobody would be going to heaven (a large portion of people were probably speeding on the way to church, he said. Which is likely correct). So no, homosexuality isn't the worst sin; sin isn't on a scale like that. But it is still not something that reflects life in Christ, so it is not something we should just accept.

The pastor changed subjects for a little bit in the middle of this, and went on a small rant about "tolerance." He said that tolerance used to mean that we should let people believe what they want. Nowadays, the meaning has been changed to say that tolerance means that you have to affirm and validate people's positions, no matter what they believe. He thought the definition was no longer right.

"We know that the law is good when used correctly. For the law was not intended for people who do what is right. It is for people who are lawless and rebellious, who are ungodly and sinful, who consider nothing sacred and defile what is holy, who kill their father or mother or commit other murders. The law is for people who are sexually immoral, or who practice homosexuality, or are slave traders, liars, promise breakers, or who do anything else that contradicts the wholesome teaching" (1 Timothy 1:8-10)

Once again, the bible says sexuality immorality is a sin, and explicitly mentions homosexuality here too. He made a comment here about people who will go and blast people who are homosexual, all while living with their girlfriend/boyfriend or actively watching porn or things like that. All of this is sexual immorality, and to put down others while living like this is hypocrisy at its finest.

4.) We are all Broken and in Desperate Need of God's Grace

This is specifically refencing the common idea that people who are homosexual are born the way they are. That they have those desires innately, and so it shouldn't a sin to enact on them, because why else would that desire be there in the first place?

Our pastor agrees with this idea. He agrees in the sense that he says we are all born with improper desires. The whole, we are all born in sin because of The Fall concept. Everyone struggles with sin, and we need to be born again away from sin. He then gave a quote from a "former lesbian" (????former?), now a Christian author who is married to her husband with kids;

"Adam's fall rendered my deep and primal feelings untrustworthy and untrue." -Rosaria Butterfield

This is true of all of us; the Fall has given us all desires we can't trust. We all have a natural tendency towards sin. He furthered this by giving an example of a pastor he knows, who once said that he had a desire to have a sexual relationship with every attractive women he saw. That is an innate desire within him, and he needs to always repent from that. Those with same-sex attraction are in the same boat. He went on saying that this is also true for those with gender dysphoria. He says that people dealing with that are also fighting desire; those who claim they are a "man/woman trapped in a man's/woman's body" have a desire to relate as another gender. These are all examples of fallen desires, and things we need to all repent from.

Our pastor then went on to say that the way we treat LGBTQ+ people today is not good. He gave a hypothetical example; if a young 15 year old girl were to go to the hospital with anorexia, then the hospital's first response would not be to change her body (he said, "they wouldn't just give her a liposuction"). They would try to change what's going on in her mind, so she begins to believe things about herself differently. But when children appear with gender dysphoria, people today think it's okay to permit drastic changes to their bodies, with things such as hormone therapy or "radically aggressive surgeries," when what really need to happen is for them to have their minds renewed. Especially with teenagers, who may feel like a different person every single day.

In all, we shouldn't focus on making a gay person straight. We need to focus on making those who are dead in Christ alive in god's word.

He somehow got off track again by talking about how when men are gay, sometimes it's because they come from a bad home life. They lacked a good father figure, so they are mostly just looking for love from any man to fill that hole. He also said he has never met a female who was a lesbian who didn't experience sexual abuse in their childhood. (he really emphasized the word female here like some kind of different species). He said, "Do they exist? Sure they do. I've not met one." Said those traumatic experiences as a child will change their desires. It's not okay to stay like that though.

"But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness. They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools. And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles.

So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved." (Romans 1:18-27)

If we look at creation, it is very clear that there is a creator. We may try to deny that because if we accept this, then we must also accept that there is a higher authority than ourselves. This denial will cause us to have misplaced desires. This is where all of our sinful desires come from, and everyone must turn away from them.

5.) Nobody is out of reach of the grace of God

"Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Corinthians 6:11)

All of these are sins that are a result of rejecting a relationship with Jesus. But when we accept that relationship, we are making the decision to try and live in a way that rejects sin. We may lose our battle with sin sometimes, and that's okay. We are all in a constant struggle against sin, but Jesus gives us the power to fight against it.

"When the Lord entered my world, I experienced that gospel-ignited 'expulsive power of a new affection.' The new affection was not heterosexuality, but Jesus, my Jesus, my friend and Savior. I was not converted out of homosexuality. I was converted out of unbelief." -Rosaria Butterfield

Saying no to sexual immorality, whether that be through pre-marital sex, an affair, rape, or homosexuality, is saying yes to Jesus. Intimacy with another person is temporary; intimacy with Christ is eternal. "Self-denial, not self-expression, leads to true fulfillment."

Some people may be able to free themselves of homosexual desire, while some may struggle with it for their whole lives. For those who will always struggle with it, is isn't because god is cruel. Our pastor explains why god would do this with a quote:

"God leaves sin in our lives to convince us until our dying day that we are in desperate need of him" -John Newton

"God's acceptance is the power that liberates us from sin, not the reward for having liberated." God gives us the tools we need to fight our battles; he doesn't win them for us. We need him to fight against sin, so God uses our battles with sin as a way to bring us closer to him.

Our pastor closed by saying that God loves us, that our sexual identity does not define us, and that anyone who is currently struggling with homosexuality is more than welcome to visit any of the deacons they had at the front of the sanctuary.

As for my thoughts.

1.) I think it's extremely unfair to equate falling in love with someone who happens to have similar biology to you to rape. I don't even think that needs to be said. I'm upset that this even has to be said.

2.) Note how not once did he mention love in this. There's no love to be had between two people of the same sex, according this ideology. Only sexual attraction. I genuinely don't think people like this can fathom the idea of loving before/without sexual attraction, or that people who are the same gender can love each other in the romantic sense of the word and not just the sexual. I say this because I was exactly like this a long time ago.

When I was a Christian, I made a very clear differentiation in my head between homosexual couples and heterosexual ones. I never thought of heterosexual relationships as inherently sexual relationships, and I'm ashamed to admit that at that time, I didn't think the same of homosexual ones. The only model I had for reference of a loving relationship were mothers and fathers, and anything else was unheard of and framed as surface level only. This is a position of complete ignorance. In my case and for others like me, it was genuine ignorance caused by indoctrination from my family, and has gone away after a lot of work and a lot of learning (not an excuse for my awful behavior towards some people, only reasoning). At a certain point though, if you have been confronted with the reality that people love for more than surface level reasons and still believe things like this, it becomes willful ignorance, and that is a horrible thing to parade around as holy morals.

3.) Tolerance still means living and letting be. The problem is, when you feel like letting people live their non-Christian lives is an egregious sin punishable by eternal death and hellfire, and start creating laws that target those people and harass those people and use your religious texts to make them feel like awful people for simply being happy due to those beliefs, you're not exactly doing the "let be" part of that sentence. Yeah, not every act done in the name of God is from God, but at a certain point you have to see the trend of how a good portion of your church is not exactly pleasant towards LGBTQ+ people. You don't have to affirm or validate anybody, but you shouldn't put others in harm's way just because they don't follow your religious text. The bible says that God has made it our choice to follow him, so even in the context of the word, nobody has a right to force someone to live under God's law. (Matthew 10:14 for an explicit example, but this is hardly a divisive viewpoint among Christians. Some just seem to forget about it at the polls).

4.) They don't just start pumping kids full of hormones. This literally doesn't happen. I don't even know how we got to gender dysphoria in a sermon on homosexuality but geez. There's massive amounts of therapy that goes into it, there's puberty blockers that are 100% reversible. And for adults, these surgeries and hormone therapies aren't framed as "radical" when they happen to cis people. This is common propaganda being pushed around to garner fear towards trans people, and is extremely harmful.

5.) Most gay people are missing love from their parents or have been sexually abused, thus causing them to be gay? Really?

6.) It is not common to want to sleep with every woman you see. He gave that example so casually, like he was announcing that his friend also likes to go bowling. He may not have mentioned it here, but I can say that in the past, we have had entire sermons dedicated to telling men how to not see women as sex objects, and how to instead respect women, and for them to love their wives and be good fathers. They are of the view that it is all to common for most men to be dealing with things like this. This case, is of course, severe compared to most, but the struggle with temptation is there for most men according to them.

Not all men are like this. Not all people are like this. People who don't read the bible don't always also want to have sex with every person they find appealing. If the only thing keeping someone from doing bad things (such as hitting on every attractive person you see) is an ancient tome, then there might be an internal issue that should be addressed. I don't like the notion that those without the bible have no way of fighting intrusive thoughts like these. These are intrusive thoughts, they're unwanted. The pastor who is dealing with this likely does have that as a natural reaction towards women he finds interesting, and it's a good thing he is aware there is a problem. Thats the most important step in moving away from things like that. That's not the bad part. The issue I have is, something like that cannot be corrected by just praying it away and asking for forgiveness from God every time you slip up. There's a bit of a viewpoint change towards other people that needs to happen there for that to show noticeable change. It's a bit concerning that this is coming from a pastor, but maybe I'm just being weird about that.

7.) (and last) How cruel can a god be to create someone born to live a life without love, while placing them in a position where they can't help but love those who they are not allowed to? You can't just get over it and make yourself love somebody. That's not how it works. To make a person force themselves to be absolutely miserable for decades in an attempt to prove their devotion to you? What kind of god would something like that? A narcissistic one, I'm inclined to believe.

I had a lot of words on this, and I had to condense them down because I could honestly rant on for hours about things like this. It hits me personally. I've dealt with gender dysphoria for far longer than I knew what gender dysphoria even was. I'm still coming to terms with that. I've felt strongly for people who I wasn't supposed to according to the bible, and I hated myself for it. I forced myself to push those people away. I'll never forgive myself for that.

In religions like this, it feels suffocating having these ideas crammed into you for as long as you remember. If you want out, there's a good chance you'll have to find a way to crawl out all on your own, because they likely won't help you. It's hard, but it's possible, and it's very much worth it. The friends I've made and the people I've met just within the past year are people I would have never met had I not began work on myself first. Online and irl; they are all wonderful people and I'm very happy to have known them. I know there's not really a whole lot of people who read these journal/summary/things, but I still hope that someone can read these and relate to them. If it helps even one hypothetical person, then it's worth posting (plus, it's very nice to get it out of my system, so this is partially for myself haha).You're not alone, and there are people who understand what you're going through, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel :) (it's a very long tunnel, but who said walking wasn't fun)

That's really all I can think to say for now, so as always, thank you for reading :D hopefully the next long writing I post will be that story I've been working on

Day of the Sun Waterproof Birds (religion tw in notes)

#ooh man this one made me mad #I've looked this over several times now buut #there's a chance I said something goofy #if i missed anything or didn't hit the mark on something let me know #like I said i'm still unlearning a lot of shitty behaviors #i'd like to think i'm pretty far along by now #but the only way for me to know for sure is feedback #content warning galore #cw homophobia #cw transphobia #cw rape #cw religion #cw misogyny #cw misandry #that last one is a new one #new record!#long post

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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months ago

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I have to write a relatively long German paper, and man its just so difficult for me. The pro side is that I can pick any topic I want, so of course I picked Charles VI. But I've literally not written any German in months, and I'm almost 100% sure our prof doesn't actually read them. I should just write and submit boy king fic....

#i wish it was in English #bcs i would be very happy about it #but i have lost so much capacity for any German writing #bcs he sucks so much as a prof and has dropped the ball on actual language learning imo #how am i supposed to suddenly write a 7-8 pg paper after youve spent all our class time just lecturing at us #and giving us no real opportunity to really learn or test our skills #i shall.. probably just cheat.#LIKE i want to learn german so badly #but what the fuck is the point of even trying when i know im not going to get actual feedback on my writing #why should i even try at that point. put that much effort in and know that he doesnt really care at all #it just sucks so much bcs i genuinely love and am so fascinated w the topic #but the idea that id put so much work into translating it only for him not to read it really kills me #again. just submit boy king fic and see if he notices sjfkgllblb #but do you know what i mean? like im sure ill write a good version in english that i think is actual good content #but translating it is such a lost cause bcs all the effort is reallt for nothing #like atp im jusy interested in the history more than making an effort w the language #ugh i wish i wasnt this way but yknow lack of stimulation anf feedback really kills my enjoyment and interest #like see i can convince myself that thr eng version of teh paper is my typical personal research #<- i mean im making a fucking family tree for funsies so this isnt that far off #but the translation part is so difficult bcs my german has been eroding a bit SOB SOB #lol anyways i say this bcs i was plotting a boy king fic in my head as i was goong to bed #and was like oh i shoulf write it out tmr! and then remembered I HAVE AN ESSAY UGH #well yeah. suffering. we'll see how i feel abt i write the original copy and if i have the capacity to germanify it #i just feel so guilty about it. cheating. I dont want to and it feels so low effort and terrible #but why would i force myself thru all that for a guy who barely reads it #catie.rambling.txt

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bigcats-birds-and-books · 1 year ago

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....honestly i think part of the reason i don't give readers the version of my manuscript i intend to Query is because at that stage i absolutely cannot stomach the idea of making more revisions based on feedback lol

#text #personal #writing #querying #i mean i know once you get an agent and an editor you do that whole merry-go-round again and that's Fine #but by the time i feel solid on querying i am absolutely sick of revisions for then and there #and like. i have exhausted my fresh readers by that point #i do think having an agent/editor on board would revitalize me for a project honestly #i get very excited to talk about things when someone else is there also getting hyped #but more than say. four. rounds of revision. is too much for me before attempting querying #and we hit the issue of 'good enough' vs 'perfect'#sure books are never perfect #but i can only make it so Good Enough before i must yeet it #anyway this brought to you by: i'm reading a friend's fourth (4th) draft #and i'm giving her perhaps way more feedback than she wants......#she was hoping to query it but uh. it's not ready.#or AYE don't think it's ready #it's gotta be up to her #i'm afraid i'll send her this and she'll be pissed at me though #i know AYE would be pissed if i sent a fourth draft and someone gave me back as much feedback as i'm about to give her #but. also. don't ask if you don't want feedback.#and for me fourth draft is the Don't Ask I Don't Want More Feedback cutoff i think #the desire for validation is strong #the desire to be fucking done is stronger lmao

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year ago

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as ever like: no two things Need to be juxtaposed, much less like material vs material deathmatch Only One Can Be Good, much less am i thinking i have thee objective word on fuckall b/c who does and it's like perfectly boring & unserious whenever someone just throws out Takes that are just "i think...[xyz] is [adjective]" like okay.

but anyways thinking of how, though differing in execution in a lot of ways ofc, deh & bmc start out in a v similar place & explore a journey to self-acceptance from a despairing starting point....it feels like a lot of the hindrance in deh's exploration of its own Theme there is in like, hey. :) hand on your shoulder. it's okay b/c you'll be able to be more normal. whereas w/bmc it's that it's okay b/c you'll be able to be more abnormal

#like hell yeah. and Normality is fake the way that things like Gender is fake so. what's more universally relevant here #versus like. the idea that a winning takeaway re: deh is Talking With Your Parents / Kid like #yeah that could be an improvement? in other situations; that Talking is dangerous &/or just not going to happen / be irrelevant #meanwhile nobody is ''normal'' & the idea of Normality & its Moral Goodness / Requirement does affect everyone #meanwhile that bmc is clear on jeremy's gaining supportive relationships means support for his relationship w/himself #whilest he's also able to feel better insulated from feeling Defined by whatever instance of feedback/input #whereas with deh it's like. All These People....but log off & all you need is at least one parent who doesn't hate you No Matter What #including your unfortunate abnormality....Just(tm) make the phone calls am i right? well now he at least has a part time job #meanwhile difficult to compare w/e's going on w/zoe/evan vs mpdg4mpdg jeremy/christine. latter are cute & a coherent relationship #former are [nothing] to [i'm taking psychic damage] & fuck if i know what's going on besides The Ultimate Romance(tm) (negative)#he was a boy she was a girl they could politely tolerate each other's presence. maybe forever :')#i really don't know what's supposed to be going on there so like. for real share Any reasons you like each other in Either love song abt it #anyways like No Need To Compare but for me the juxtaposition is natural b/c it Does feel like they can be looked at re: a v similar Essence #but one is fumbling around w/it & really Not sticking the landing especially while the other just does exactly what it's trying to do #and ofc it could only help that deh had to go so far from the original [???] ideas & more Farcical approach #vs i don't think bmc's envisioning ever changed so fundamentally along its development at any point #like deh's story does feel like it still has the remnants of the earlier farcier versions even in its bway form #story of A Bunch Of Wild Shit Happens To Our Protag Whaaat & sure ppl are humanized but you still never made room for like a quarter of the #alana & jared? they're alright but they died #anyways & in all these things it's like It's Not A Big Deal lol i am not here to strive to have thee true & final word #right tf on if you as well know them both & like deh more / think It was the more successful execution of its story #though i have natural enemies like say [trt loyalists who are Like That] or forever [deh haters who are Like That]....we're different #erased a tangent also mentioning how i like the Parent Approach of mr. heere's arc better than any parents in deh lol. like of course #it's Not about his Feelings or being Imperfect or Human. like ofc he has the feelings & is human & imperfect #but he just gets energized & focused like welp bummer but ofc i gotta give my kid more support w/whatever he's going through rn #like hell yeah. one fun song we're good to go #bmc #deh

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chaosandmarigolds · 7 months ago

Text

Simon Riley! who isn't traditional in the gross way but in the he wants to protect you and make sure you don't feel like you have to provide for yourself, he wants to be a safety net, something to rely on

Simon Riley! Who made it a point to buy your dream house as soon as you were married,

Simon Riley! Who didn't expect houses to require so...much...work

"Baby! The water won't turn off?"

"The fuck you mean it won't turn off just-" Simon grumbled as he dropped the moving box and walked into the kitchen, grabbing the handle of the faucet and trying to pull it, only for it to come flying off. Leaving him dumbfounded and you a giggling disaster.

Simon Riley! Who likes handy man tasks as much as the next guy but the people at the store are beginning to know his name

Simon Riley! Who didn't have a dad to teach him some stuff like plumbing and whatnot so he calls Price

"Oi, Cap-"

"She came to her senses and ran away, yeah?"

"No...I need you to tell me ho' to turn off th' water."

Simon Riley! Who does know how much you love watching him do yard work but doesn't dwell because these godddamn weeds-

Simon Riley! Who loves nothing more than watching you paint the walls of the house, finds it like to be a scene of a movie and it would be a lie if the reality was much better than the cinema

Simon Riley! Who hates facebook because you would randomly send him across the city because you found an old China cabinet you thought would be perfect

Simon Riley! Who doesn't care how his buddies tease him about becoming a domestic civilian so soon, because he would happily fix a thousand houses if it meant a thousand more years with you

(Comments and feedback make my day! annnd yeah that's it <3 )

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harrysfolklore · 3 months ago

Text

little bitch - cs55

summary: yn piastri and carlos sainz absolutely hate each other. carlos thinks she’s immature, yn calls him a little bitch on social media. they also kiss every now and then. PART TWO

word count: over 10k + social media posts

folkie radio: guys this fic is my baby okay 🥲🥲 please take care of it i spent like two weeks writing it. FEEDBACK IS ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED !!

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

2023 SEASON

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ynpiastri that’s my optimistic little brother cry about it 😚 see y’all after the break

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username1 LAJSIA SO MESSY

username2 yn really said you will NAWT mess with my little brother

lilyzneimer Love you forever 😂

↳ ynpiastri ilysm

username3 the sainz - piastri drama just spiced this season up

mclaren That’s our boy 🧡

username4 carlos sainz and yn piastri fighting on the internet and oscar is just 🧍

username5 the fact that daniel ricciardo and pierre gasly liked yn’s tweet too 😭

landonorris Stop fighting people on the internet please

↳username1 HELP HIS BESTIES ARE FIGHTING

↳ ynpiastri never 😤

oscarpiastri When nobody got me I know my messy sister got me

↳ username2 I LOVE THEM SM

↳ yourinstagram HE SAID NO PICKLES !!

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

"You didn't have to tweet that," Oscar said, giving you a look from his seat.

You were currently traveling from Belgium to Monaco in McLaren's private jet after the race weekend, and the main topic of the day was your little message to Carlos Sainz after his statement about your brother.

"Osc, he's being a petty bitch," you shrugged, "He keeps blaming you for what happened on the track and we all know it was his fault."

"Lando, can you help me out please?" Oscar looked at his teammate, who was immersed on his phone as a way to avoid the conversation.

"Oh no, don't put me in the middle of this," Lando shook his head, "I have enough PR issues myself."

"We know you're siding with your bestie anyways," you said, making him roll his eyes.

This dynamic was nothing new. Lando and Carlos Sainz were best friends, and so were Lando and you. The issue? You couldn't stand Carlos at all, and Lando was always in the middle of your bickering.

Oscar sighed, rubbing his temples as he glanced out of the window. "Look, I appreciate you standing up for me, but sometimes it's better to let things slide. Engaging with him on social media only adds fuel to the fire."

He had a point. Deep down you knew it, however, your were short tempered and protective towards your loved ones, so it was natural that you took the chance to come for Sainz's neck when he gave you a reason to.

"I get it, Osc. I just can't stand seeing him drag your name through the mud when you're not even at fault," you stressed, "You're my little brother, I'll always get protective, you know?"

"I know, and I appreciate you having my back," Oscar said, softening his tone. "But it's not worth it. Like you said, I'm not engaging with whatever he's saying so there's no point of starting stuff."

"He started it, I'm just finishing it," you shrugged, and Oscar gave you a pointed look, you were older than him, but he was definitely more mature than you. "Fine, I'll try to hold back next time," you sighed, leaning back in your seat.

Lando finally looked up from his phone, a smirk on his face. "See, that wasn't too hard, was it? Now, can we all be friends?"

"If that includes Sainz then no, we can't,"

You could never be friends with Carlos Sainz. That was literally impossible.

For starters, you were pretty sure he didn't even know your name, he was always too full of himself to even acknowledge those around him.

And lastly, he was a bitch to your brother on and off track.

"I just, I would really like for you two to get along," Lando said and you immediately rolled your eyes at his words, "You're both important to me, and it sucks being caught in the middle. Plus I don't even understand why do you dislike him so much."

You knew the real reason why you disliked him so much, you perfectly did. However, that was a subject that you decided to ignore every single time.

"Honestly? I find him arrogant. He always acts like he's the center of the universe. He never takes responsibility for his actions and always tries to shift the blame onto others. It's frustrating to watch."

Lando sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I get it, but you have to understand, Carlos is actually a good guy once you get to know him. He's passionate and competitive, sure, but he's also loyal and a great friend."

"I get that he's like your hero or something," you teased, "But it's not going to happen, Lando. I don't think I'll ever like Carlos, and I really wish you’d stop pushing the subject."

"Look, you don't have to be his best friend or something," Oscar intervened, "Just promise me you won't punch him when you see him in the paddock after the summer break."

"No promises."

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

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ynpiastri a weekend in monaco with some of my favorite people 🤍 back to race cars soooon (love being a nepo sister)

tagged: oscarpiastri, lilyzneimer, alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris

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username1 SLAAAY

username2 ahhhh lily x oscar content thank u yn

francisca.cgomes having major fomo rn, love you all babies 🥲

↳ ynpiastri get over hereeeee

username3 she has the dream life

charles_leclerc Stop stealing my girlfriend from me thank you

↳ ynpiastri never

↳ alexandrasaintmleux We’re like this 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

↳ charles_leclerc Don’t do this to me

lilyzneimer 🤍

oscarpiastri I think you just invented the term “nepo sister”

↳ ynpiastri and i’m too iconic for that

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

Going to Jimmy'z the last day of the summer break was a tradition among the drivers at this point.

You looked forward to it, for you, nothing could beat a night of loud music, drinks and friends. You thought that was the reason you got along with Lando and quickly became best friends.

“Ready to tear up the dance floor?” Lando shouted over the music, giving you smirk

“Always!” you replied, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the center of the action, Oscar and Lily being their introvert selves decided to stay at the table with some of your friends.

After a few songs, you returned to the table to catch your breath and order another round of drinks.

Oscar looked up from his conversation with Lily and smiled as you approached.

“Having fun?” he asked.

“Absolutely,” you replied, taking a seat next to him. “You two should join us on the dance floor.”

Lily laughed softly. “Maybe later. Right now, we’re enjoying people-watching.”

“Suit yourselves,” you said, shrugging, "I'm going to the bar, does anyone want anything?"

Oscar shook his head. "No, thanks. I'm good."

"I'll have another gin and tonic," Lily said, giving you a warm smile.

"Got it," you replied, turning towards the bar.

As you made your way through the crowded club, you found an open spot at the bar and flagged down the bartender. As you waited for your drinks, you felt someone step up beside you. Glancing to your left, you saw the last person you wanted to run into tonight... or ever.

Carlos Sainz was standing there with what you called his "resting bitch face" and acting like he owned the place.

You knew chances of him being at Jimmy'z for the last day of the summer break were high and you had decided earlier that you were just going to ignore him for the night if you ever ran into him. After all, you were there to have fun, not to get into a confrontation. But you were known for being short-tempered, a stark contrast to your brother's laid-back demeanor.

When you heard Carlos order his drink without so much as a “please,” you couldn't help but call him out.

"Whiskey, neat," he ordered, his tone clipped and lacking any form of politeness, his Spanish accent that you found absolutely irritating coming through.

“A 'please' would be nice, you know,” you interjected.

Carlos turned to you, his brow furrowing. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” you replied coolly. “It's not hard to be polite.”

"Do I know you?" Carlos stared at you for a moment before recognition dawned. “Oh you're Piastri's sister, aren't you?”

“That I am,” you confirmed, your tone equally cold.

“Figures," Carlos scoffed, shaking his head, "You’re the one who sent me that lovely message on Twitter.”

“You deserved every word,” you replied, crossing your arms.

“Did I now?” Carlos leaned closer, his expression hardening. “You don't even know the whole story. You just assume I'm the bad guy because of Oscar."

“I know enough,” you shot back. “I know you never take responsibility for your actions. You always blame someone else.”

“And what about you?," Carlos’s jaw tightened, "Hiding behind your keyboard, throwing insults. That's real mature.”

“Someone had to say it,” you replied, refusing to back down. “You can't just go around acting like you're untouchable.”

“And you can't go around thinking you're some kind of vigilante,” Carlos retorted. “Can't your little brother handle things himself?.”

“Maybe if you weren't such a jerk, people wouldn't have to call you out,” you snapped, feeling your temper flare.

Carlos sighed, clearly frustrated. “Look, I don't have time for this. Just stay out of my way, alright?”

“Gladly,” you replied, turning away from him.

When you rejoined your friends, they noticed your tense expression. Lando shot you a questioning look, but you just shook your head.

"Ask you bestie," you simply said and Lando threw his head back in frustration, once again, he was in the middle of his two best friends tension.

“I’ll talk to him," Lando said, sipping on his drink.

"Don't bother, he's a bitch."

Later that night, Lando found Carlos near the dancefloor chatting with some friends. He pulled him aside, needing to get to the bottom of the latest incident.

“What happened with YN now?” Lando asked, trying to keep his tone casual.

Carlos shrugged before speaking, “I was minding my own business, ordering a drink, and she just came at me."

“And?” Lando raised an eyebrow.

“And she’s just so immature and arrogant,” Carlos continued, “She’s always ready to pick a fight over the smallest things. It’s embarrassing.”

Lando shook his head. “Look, Carlos, YN is protective of Oscar. She sees you two butting heads and she gets defensive. It’s not ideal, but it’s not like she’s completely unreasonable.”

“Well, she sure seems unreasonable to me," Carlos crossed his arms, "I don’t know how you deal with it.”

Lando sighed. “She’s my friend, and so are you. I wish you two could just get along, but I know that’s asking a lot. Just... try to give her a bit of slack, alright? She’s not a bad person.”

"She's insufferable."

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

ynpiastri has added to their stories

carlossainz55 replied to your story

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ynpiastri little bitches everywhere, always a pleasure monza

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username1 HEEEELP

username2 she’s so messy we needed this 😭

lilyzneimer I can’t wait to hear this rant in person

↳ username1 LET ME INNNNN

username3 IS THIS CARLOS SHADEEEE

username4 not her adding the radio message

landonorris I would like to be excluded from this narrative

↳ ynpiastri scared of your boyfriend??

↳ username2 THEY’RE SO TALKING ABOUT CARLOS 😭

charles_leclerc Did you call me a little bitch?

↳ ynpiastri you’re literally the only ferrari i like..

↳ username3 she really hates carlos i’m screaming

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

The Ferrari hospitality was the last place you wanted to be during a Grand Prix, the mere thought of it being the place where Sainz (or as you liked to call him, the little bitch), was most likely to be kept you away from it.

However, Alex told you to meet her there after the Qualifying so you could leave together for dinner. Oscar and Lando already left with the rest of the team, so you had no choice but to wait for your friend.

"Looking for someone, hermosa?" your eyes immediately rolled without even turning around to see who was speaking, the thick Spanish accent that you despised filling your ears.

"Not for you, that's for sure," you said, not even bothering to face him.

"Are you sure? Because this is not the McLaren garage, did your little bro finally kick you out or something?"

"Sainz," you retorted sharply, finally turning to face him, "Shouldn't you be busy making excuses for your next mediocre performance on track?"

"Ah, always so angry, Piastri," he chuckled, unfazed by your hostility, "Maybe you're just frustrated because you're not getting enough attention. I could help with that."

"I don't need or want anything from you," you shot back, your voice laced with irritation.

Carlos leaned casually against a nearby wall, his smirk widening. "Come on, hermosa, you know you've got a temper. Maybe you just need to let off some steam."

Hermosa, the word he used often when he wanted to get to your skin. When you first heard it, you had no idea of what it meant. You were never good at learning Spanish growing up. But after a quick google translation search you found out that it meant beautiful. And for some reason you felt like throwing up.

"Believe me, Sainz, you're the last person I'd ever turn to," you replied icily, folding your arms across your chest, "And don't call me that."

He chuckled again, seemingly enjoying your discomfort. You wondered how Lando could be friends with him when he was nothing but an arrogant little bitch, and you cursed Alexandra for taking so long to get her stuff from hospitality.

"I hope you know that you have some serious issues, Sainz," you said, your patience wearing thin as his cocky stare weighted on you.

"Issues? Me?," Carlos raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained by your anger, "I think you're the one with the problem, querida. Like I said, maybe you need to get laid. I could help you with that, your brother won't find out."

Your eyes narrowed, your blood boiled to the point where you could feel your skin burning up. If it wasn't for the all the people around, you swore you could've punched him.

You took a step closer to him, your voice dropping to a deadly whisper. "I hope your car sets itself on fire so you're not able to race tomorrow."

Carlos's smirk only widened, he was well aware that he got into your skin and he enjoyed every minute of it. Before he could respond, Alex finally appeared, her eyes flicking between the two of you with a mix of curiosity and concern.

"Ready to go?" she asked, sensing the tension.

"More than ready," you replied, shooting Carlos one last glare before turning to leave with Alex.

The next day, news spread quickly through the paddock that Carlos' car had suffered a mechanical failure during the warm-up, rendering him unable to compete in the Qatar Grand Prix. Meanwhile, Oscar had won the Sprint and finished P2 in the race.

Karma got that little bitch, you thought to yourself

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

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ynpiastri season over and out. super proud of you, rookie of the year @/oscarpiastri 🥹

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username1 i’m going to miss this season sm

username2 proud sisssss

mclaren One for the books 🧡

username3 thank you for fighting sainz online all season long bestie

landonorris Little Oscar is all grown up now

↳ ynpiastri don’t say that i’ll cry

lilyzneimer 🫶🫶🫶

username4 highlight of the season was the piastri - sainz beef

↳ username1 not for lando 😭

oscarpiastri Thank you for always supporting me (creating drama online and all) Love you so much ❤️

↳ ynpiastri that’s what big sisters are for

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

The end of the 2023 season was a blur of celebrations, laughter, and champagne showers. Oscar had closed off the season as the Rookie of the Year and you couldn't be more proud of him, you were grateful you got to be by his side through it.

And of course, with the end of the season a celebration at Jimmy'z was in order, all drivers, their girlfriends and friends pulling up to Monaco for one last night of partying before the winter break.

You had stuck close to Lando and Oscar for most of the evening, since it was a special occasion, you decided not to hold back with your drinking and have as much fun as you wanted, Lando being your partner in crime as always.

So by 2 a.m, you were pretty drunk, not to the point where you couldn't stand on your own feet, but drunk enough to make a couple of bad decisions.

With that thought on your mind, you decided that it was time to find your brother or best friend and call it a night. But for some reason, both of them were nowhere to be found.

Stumbling through the crowded dance floor, you made your way toward the back of the club, hoping to spot them. The alleyway was dark and you couldn't see a single thing, but they weren't definitely back there.

"Fancy seeing you here, hermosa," a voice behind drawled, almost making you jump.

"What the actual fuck!" you said, holding a hand to your chest.

Of course it was fucking Carlos Sainz, once again

"You scared the hell out of me!" you snapped, narrowing your eyes at him, "Do you hide in dark alleyways like a creep all the time?"

"Slow down, hermosa, why are you so angry all the time?" his Spanish accent was thicker than usual, a clear sign that he was as tipsy as you were.

"I'm not in the mood for your games tonight," you retorted, trying to brush past him.

"Relax, I'm not here to cause trouble," he said, blocking your path with an easy grace. "Though you do seem to find me wherever you go."

"Only because you insist on being everywhere I am," you shot back, folding your arms over your chest.

"Or maybe you just can't resist my charm," he teased, leaning casually against the wall.

"Charm? Is that what you call it?" you scoffed, "More like arrogance and an inflated ego."

"Arrogance? No. Confidence? Absolutely," he replied with a smirk, "And I think you secretly like it."

"You're delusional," you muttered, feeling the alcohol clouding your judgment. "I can't stand you."

"Is that so?" he said, stepping closer. "Because you seem pretty invested in this conversation for someone who supposedly hates me."

True

"Maybe because you won't let me leave," you said, your voice rising in frustration.

"Or maybe because you've spent the entire season trying to get my attention by being rude to me and blasting me on social media, calling me a little bitch and all."

"I was defending Oscar," you snapped. "You kept messing with him on track. Someone had to call you out."

Carlos shook his head, his cocky smirk even bigger now. "It was never about Oscar, and you know it."

"God, I hate you," you said, ready to walk away but he blocked your way one more time.

"No, you don't," he replied, a knowing smile on his lips. "You just hate that you can't help but get all hot and bothered whenever I'm around."

"You're really are such a little bitch," you spat, but even as the words left your mouth, you felt a strange thrill.

"And you're a firecracker, Piastri. That's what makes this so fun."

"You're so full of yourself," you retorted, but the words lacked their usual bite. The alcohol was making it hard to keep up your defenses, and Carlos's close proximity was doing strange things to your resolve.

"Maybe," he conceded, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. "But I think you like it more than you let on."

Before you could argue back, Carlos took another step closer, his body almost pressing against yours. The tension between you crackled like electricity, and despite your best efforts, you found yourself unable to pull away.

"You're infuriating," you muttered, your heart pounding in your chest.

"And you," he said, his breath warm against your ear, "are insufferable."

Without another word, he closed the gap between you, capturing your lips in a fierce, almost desperate kiss. It was a collision of anger, frustration, and undeniable chemistry, and you couldn't help but respond in kind.

Your hands found their way to his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as you kissed him back with equal fervor. His hands roamed down your back, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you.

What the hell was happening?

For a moment, all the animosity, all the bickering, melted away. It was messy, it was intense, and it was everything you hadn't realized you wanted.

When you finally pulled away, breathless and dazed, you could see the same mix of surprise and desire reflected in Carlos' eyes.

Before either of you could say anything, you were interrupted by Lando's voice calling out your name. You quickly stepped back, putting some distance between you and Carlos as Lando approached, a curious look on his face.

"Everything okay here?" Lando asked, glancing between the two of you.

"Just fine," you replied, giving Carlos a final, challenging look. "Just fine."

Carlos nodded, his smirk returning. "See you around, Piastri."

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

texts between lando and yn

texts between carlos and lando

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

2024 SEASON

Formula 1 was back and in full swing. And with that your "nepo sister" privileges, which included traveling with Oscar for races came back too.

You were excited for this season, Oscar was no longer a rookie and he had a lot to prove, and you couldn't wait to see him rise to the challenge.

In addition to that, this season was going to be extra interesting, since the news of your least favorite driver on the grid (or at least the one you swore you hated) being replaced by Lewis Hamilton in Ferrari were announced a few weeks prior.

"Did you hear the news?" Oscar asked, making his way to you.

"What news?" you replied, setting down your coffee cup.

"Lewis Hamilton is moving to Ferrari next season," Oscar said, watching your reaction closely.

Your eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, what? So the little bitch is out?"

Oscar nodded. "Yeah, it's going to be an interesting season."

Carlos Sainz was both a source of irritation and inexplicable attraction. You had tried to push the memory of that kiss at Jimmy'z to the back of your mind all winter long, but you just couldn't stop thinking about it.

Plus, Lando was firm on his mission of making wither of you confess that apparently you "liked each other", which made ignoring the whole situation even harder.

You just hoped that he would keep it chill this season, not bothering either you or Oscar so you could just pretend he didn't exist.

With that thought on your mind, you made your way back to the hotel. You spent the day exploring around Bahrain with Oscar and Lando, and now you were ready to unwind in your room. The boys deciding to spend a few more hours walking around before heading back.

Once in the lobby, you stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for your floor. Just as the doors were about to close, a familiar hand slipped in, forcing them open.

Carlos Sainz stepped inside, his ever-present smirk firmly in place.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, they say.

"Not going to say hello, querida?" he said after a few seconds of complete silence from you, leaning against the elevator wall.

"Carlos. Still popping up where you're least wanted, I see," you rolled your eyes, folding your arms over your chest.

"Missed you too, Piastri," he chuckled, pushing off the wall to stand closer you, "How was your break?"

"Great, thanks for asking," you replied coolly. "Did you enjoy yours, planning how to be a pain to other drivers this season too?"

"Is that really how you want to start our first conversation of the season?" Carlos raised an eyebrow, "I though we've left that in the past, specially after what happened at the end of last year."

You tensed at his statement. More than once during the break, you wondered if he remembered what happened that night. He was as drunk was you were, if not more, so you convinced yourself that he had forgotten about it.

"I don't remember much from that night. Must have been the champagne."

Carlos leaned in slightly, his voice low and teasing. "Oh, I think you remember perfectly well. Especially the kiss."

Your heart skipped a beat, but you kept your expression neutral. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Playing dumb doesn't suit you," he said with a chuckle. "But fine, we'll pretend it never happened. For now."

"Good," you replied sharply. "Because I have no intention of discussing it."

"Maybe you're playing dumb because you want me to kiss you again," Carlos teased, making you throw your head back in frustration.

"I'd rather choke on my own spit, little bitch,"

"Ahh, missed hearing that," Carlos said, his tone cocky and satisfied with your frustration. You mentally cursed the elevator for taking so long to get to your fucking floor.

"You know what? I hope you don't find a seat for next season at all. You act like a total peacock when everyone knows you're basically unemployed right now," you spitted out before you could even think twice.

Carlos raised an eyebrow, his expression momentarily serious. "Low blow, Piastri. Even for you."

You held his gaze defiantly, refusing to back down. "Just stating the obvious."

The elevator finally dinged, announcing your floor, and you stepped out swiftly, eager to end the conversation before it could escalate further.

Carlos Sainz had a way of getting under your skin like no one else, and the season had only just begun.

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ynpiastri and we’re back 🏁 i promise to make this season drama free

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username1 ICON IS BACKKKK

username2 nooo we need you to keep dragging sainz

mclaren Our favorite nepo sister 🧡

↳ ynpiastri that’s meeee

username3 yn always gives us lily x oscar content bless her

charles_leclerc What if I need you to fight someone from the grid for me?

↳ ynpiastri you know there’s one person i would gladly drag through the mood

↳ username1 HER HATRED FOR CARLOS LIVES

lilyzneimer love youuu✨

oscarpiastri Cute picture of me and Lily, thank u sis

↳ ynpiastri i’m just here for my babies 🫡

landonorris I know your reasons

↳ ynpiastri you’re so strange sometimes

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It was a sunny day in Melbourne, and the paddock was buzzing with excitement. The Australian Grand Prix was always a favorite, and this year was no exception.

You felt good to be back home, you always felt proud when you saw Oscar on the track, but seeing him racing in your home country was something even more special.

Carlos was also back from his emergency surgery and ready to race again. And even though you would never admit it out loud, you were relieved to see him back and healthy. The news of his appendicitis had shocked you more than you’d expected, and you’d found yourself genuinely concerned about his wellbeing.

I'm just being a decent human being, you tried to convince yourself, It would be really scary if that happened to Oscar or Lando.

Walking through the paddock, you looked for a familiar face to hang out with before it was time for the track action to start, spotting Lando's back talking to someone you couldn't quite identify, you decided to approach him.

As you got closer, Lando shifted slightly, revealing the person he was talking to, Carlos.

He looked well, a healthy glow back in his cheeks, his smile easy and relaxed. He was wearing his team gear, the Ferrari red suiting him perfectly. His dark hair was slightly tousled, and despite the casual setting, he looked effortlessly handsome for someone who had a major surgery just two weeks ago.

Your stomach did a little flip. You hated to admit it, but lately your hatred towards Carlos had cooled down. Maybe it was the memory of that kiss, seeing him vulnerable after his surgery or the fact that he had been decent to Oscar so far. You couldn't deny that there was something about him that made you feel… softer.

However, you decided to ignore those thoughts and feelings every time they got to your head, because at the end of the day, there was no way he could ever feel or think the same way. It was better to keep hating each other.

Lando noticed you approaching and gave you a teasing grin. "Hey, YN! Look who’s back from the dead!"

Carlos turned to face you, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. "Hey, Piastri," he greeted with a warm smile. "Back to your home turf, huh?"

"Yeah," you replied, trying to keep your tone casual despite the flutter in your chest. "It feels good to be back."

Lando gave Carlos a pat on the shoulder. "I'll catch up with you later, mate," he said, winking at you before walking away, leaving the two of you alone.

You stood there for a moment, awkward silence filling the air. Maybe he was still tired from what he had been through, but he didn't show any signs of cockiness or wanting to annoy you this time.

"You look well," you finally said, your voice softer than usual. "I'm glad you're back."

Carlos chuckled, his eyes twinkling. "I heard you were worried about me."

"Don't let it go to your head," you replied quickly, though the usual bite in your tone was missing. You felt a bit embarrassed that he knew, "I’m just being a decent human being."

"Of course," Carlos said, his voice nonchalant, "Decent human being, sure."

"I’m serious," you insisted, though your voice lacked the usual edge. "But I am glad you’re okay. It must have been scary."

Carlos’s expression softened. "It was. But I had good doctors, and I’m ready to race again. Thanks for worrying."

There was silence again, and you noticed that this was the first time you and Carlos had an interaction that didn't include biting each other's heads off.

It felt nice.

"Well," you said after a minute of silence, "don’t expect me to go easy on you just because you had surgery. You're still on my watch."

"Wouldn’t have it any other way," Carlos smirked, "But for the record, it’s nice to see you care, even if you won’t admit it."

"Don't push your luck, Sainz," you warned, but there was a hint of playfulness in your voice.

"I wouldn't dare, Piastri."

"I should get going," you said, pointing towards the McLaren hospitality, "Good luck out there."

As you turned to walk away, Carlos's voice stopped you in your tracks.

You glanced back at him, eyebrows raised in question.

"You know, this is the first time you don't call me a little bitch," Carlos said, a small playing on his face.

"What, you miss it already? Does it turn you own?"

"Maybe a little," Carlos chuckled, "Keeps things interesting."

You shook your head, trying to hide the smile that threatened to spread across your face.

"Well, good luck out there, little bitch."

You didn't wait to see his reaction, but you knew he was grinning from ear to ear.

Later that day, Carlos crossed the finish line first and won the Australian Grand Prix, sending the crowd into a frenzy. You watched as Carlos celebrated on the podium, spraying champagne with Lando and Charles and holding up the winner's trophy with pride.

You swore you played it cool, but everyone around you noticed the huge smile on your face.

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username1 AUSSIE QUEEN

username2 omfg included a picture of sainz win??

↳ username1 how pissed do you think she was bc he won in australia

↳ username3 i love that she didn’t tag him tho 😭

alexandrasaintmleux Mama piastri >> 🫶

↳ ynpiastri our real queen

lilyzneimer the third pic is my faveeee

username4 surprised that she didn’t blur carlos in the podium pic

landonorris Please don’t make me do a shoey ever again

↳ username2 OMFG I NEED TO SEE THAT

↳ oscarpiastri Aussie traditions mate

↳ ynpiastri cry baby

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"You're not my best friend," Lando said, sitting on the plush couch of your hotel room, watching as you put a sweatshirt on, "You've been replaced with an alien or an evil twin, there's no way you're YN Piastri."

"Can you quit being dramatic," you rolled your eyes at him, "It's no big deal."

"You're grabbing sushi with Carlos Sainz," he stressed, moving his hands to emphasize, "You hate Carlos Sainz, it's been an issue for me for the last year because both of you force me to pick sides and I have to make sure you don't kill each other. And now you're suddenly going on dates."

"This is not a date," you protested, "Don't even say that out loud, it's gross."

"Then what is it? Because he asked you out and you said yes, that's literally a date."

You didn't give him a reply right away, hiding behind your your busy hands as you pretended to adjust your sweatshirt.

Truth was, you didn’t have an answer, at least not one that made sense. You couldn't blame Lando for thinking you've been replaced with someone else, because you'd never accept anything from Carlos last year, let alone willingly grab dinner with him.

But here you were, about to head out to meet him.

"I just want free dinner," you shrugged, "And he offered to buy it, so I'm taking advantage of it."

"Sure, free dinner," Lando gave you a skeptical look, crossing his arms, "Because you’ve never had other options for free dinner before, right? Your brother is rich, he could buy you whatever you want."

You huffed, trying to sound annoyed but feeling a bit defensive. "It's just sushi, Lando. Stop making it a big deal."

"You know, it's okay if you like him," he said, his tone genuine. "I mean, I get why you're hesitant, but it's fine to have feelings for someone, even if it's Carlos Sainz."

"Are you out of your mind?" you immediately said, your voice sharper than intended, "We're talking about the little bitch, what on earth makes you think that I could have feelings for him other than disgust and irritation."

"I don't know, maybe the fact that you're getting ready to get dinner with him, or that you were on the edge of your seat worrying the entire time he was recovering from the surgery, or the time I almost caught you kiss-"

"God, just shut up," you interrupted him, "Oscar would understand. He knows I'm never going to get all lovey-dovey over Carlos."

"Oscar might buy whatever you tell him," Lando raised an eyebrow, "But that doesn't mean you're being honest with yourself. It's not the end of the world to admit you might have a crush."

"I do not have a crush on him," you insisted, your cheeks heating up. "It's just... complicated."

"Complicated how?" Lando pressed, leaning forward. "Because from where I'm sitting, it looks pretty straightforward. You’re intrigued by him, he’s intrigued by you, and you both can’t seem to stay away from each other."

You let his words sink in, Lando might be a year younger than you, and often perceived as a carefree guy who didn't have a serious bone in his body. But in reality, he was a very wise person who understood the complexities of situations better than most.

That was one of the reasons why he was your best friend.

"Look, it’s not that simple," you sighed, rubbing your temples, "We have history, and not the good kind. I don't trust him, and I don’t think he trusts me either. We're just… trying to be civil for once."

"That's good," Lando stood up from the couch, sitting beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, "Honestly I was tired of dealing with your constant bickering, if you didn't kiss and make up on your own, I was going to lock you up in a closet until you resolved it."

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username1 BESTIEEEE

username2 THIS LOOKS LIKE A DATE

alexandrasaintmleux I just texted you !!!

↳ username1 LET ME INNNN

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username3 CARLOS SAINZ ???

↳ username1 girl no way they hate each other

↳ username2 he’s in the likes tho 😭

landonorris IM FREEEEE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFEEEE

↳ username1 wtfffff

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↳ username2 OSCAR 😩

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After a nice dinner and a couple of drinks, you and Carlos walked back to the hotel. The sushi had been surprisingly good, and the conversation… surprisingly pleasant.

The bickering between you was still present, but this time it wasn't harsh or spiteful, it was playful and and light-hearted. The tension that usually accompanied your interactions had lessened, and you actually acted friendly towards each other.

"I still can't believe you made me try that weird seaweed thing," you said, bumping your shoulder against his as you walked.

"You loved it, admit it," Carlos chuckled.

"Maybe a little," you conceded with a small smile, "How did you know this place anyways?"

"I like reading restaurant reviews online," he shrugged, "It's a random hobby of mine, and I'm going to need those in case I don't have a job next year."

You paused, his words sinking in. Carlos joked about it, but you knew the uncertainty of his future in Formula 1 must be horrible. The sport is cutthroat, and the thought of not finding a seat to race must be weighing on him heavily. It made you think about Oscar, and how that could happen to him too.

"I'm sorry for saying that I hope you don't find a seat next season," you blurted out, feeling a pang of guilt. "You're right, that was low, even for me."

"Are you really apologizing, Piastri?" he teased, "First you cared about my health, now you apologize. What's next? You'll stop calling me a little bitch?"

You rolled your eyes, but there was no malice behind it. "Don't push your luck, Sainz. Just take the apology and run with it."

"Alright, I'll take it," Carlos laughed, a genuine sound that made your heart skip a beat, "You must be praying I stay just so you have an excuse to argue with me, aren't you?"

"Don't flatter yourself," you shot back, grinning. "I can argue with anyone."

"But you like arguing with me the most," he said, his voice softening.

You didn't reply, the truth in his words making your heart race. From the corner of your eye, you saw the satisfied grin on his face.

Soon enough you reached the hotel lobby, and once you walked through the doors you spotted Charles and Alexandra by the reception desk.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Charles called out, drawing the attention of Alex, who looked at you with raised eyebrows.

"Just coming back from dinner," you replied, trying to keep your tone casual. "What are you two up to?"

"We were just about to head up," Alexandra said, linking her arm with Charles's. "How was dinner?"

"Surprisingly good," Carlos said, glancing at you with a smirk.

Charles raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "This is new. You two actually getting along?"

"Don't get used to it," you said, rolling your eyes. "I just wanted free dinner."

"Right," Charles said, not convinced. "Well, we're heading up, you coming?"

You all piled into the elevator, the small space filled with a mix of comfortable silence and light conversation. When the elevator reached your floor, you stepped out, Carlos following close behind.

"Goodnight, guys," Alex called out as the elevator doors closed, giving you a look that screamed 'TEXT ME ASAP'

Carlos walked you to your room, the hallway dimly lit and quiet. As you walked side by side, the occasional brush of his arm against yours sent small shivers down your spine.

"So, the only reason you agreed to come with me tonight was because you wanted free dinner?" Carlos asked once you reached your room.

"Exactly, what else do you think would make me want to spend an evening with you?"

Carlos chuckled, leaning against the wall beside your door. "I don't know, maybe my charming personality and good looks?"

"Charming?" you raised your eyebrows at him, "You're literally the most annoying person I know."

"Likewise, Piastri," Carlos shot back, his smirk widening, "But here we are, aren't we?"

"You really think you're that special, don't you?" you said, rolling your eyes.

"I know I am, querida," Carlos replied, stepping closer. "And you can't get enough of me."

You looked away from him, his stare suddenly becoming overwhelming. He was really close, as close as he was the night you kissed at Jimmy'z, and even thinking about it has your neck crawling away in sweat.

"See? You can't even deny it." Carlos grinned, his eyes locking onto yours again, his voice dropping an octave as he took another step closer.

"Don't get any ideas," you warned, but your heart was racing, and you were sure he could hear it.

"I can't help it," he said softly, his face now inches from yours. "You bring out the best in me, Piastri."

"I still hate you," you whispered, your breath hitching as he leaned in even closer.

"No, you don't," Carlos whispered back, his lips brushing against yours.

Before you could protest, he closed the distance and kissed you. It was gentle at first, tentative, as if he was giving you a chance to pull away. But when you didn't, the kiss deepened, becoming more intense and filled with a raw passion that took your breath away.

Your hands found their way to his shoulders, gripping tightly as you kissed him back, losing yourself in the moment. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, a small smile playing on Carlos's lips.

"Goodnight, Piastri," he whispered, his voice husky.

Unable to move from your spot, you watched him walk through the corridor and disappear into the elevator doors, your mind still blurry about what happened just seconds ago.

You were fucked.

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A playlist full of pop classics played as you got ready for Lando's millionth win celebration.

He took the win at the Miami Grand Prix and the next following days were full of partying and champagne. You were beyond happy for him, and willing to put up with his multiple celebrations of his well deserved win.

This time, the setting was not that over the top, just a casual dinner at his place in Monaco with his close friends.

"Can I come in?" you heard after a knock on Oscar's guest bedroom, the place where you stayed when visiting Monaco.

"Sure," you replied, quickly meeting with your brother's figure.

Oscar entered the room, a casual grin on his face. He glanced around before his eyes settled on you. "Are you almost ready?"

"Yeah," you replied, adjusting an earring. "I hope this is Lando's last celebration, I can't keep up anymore.

"He's definitely on a roll," Oscar chuckled, "You know, Carlos is going to be there."

"I know," you said, looking away from him for a moment and trying to keep your tone nonchalant.

"You do?" Oscar raised a eyebrow.

"He's Lando's best friend, Osc, it's obvious he'll be there."

Oscar nodded slowly, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Right, of course. But you two have been getting close lately, haven't you? You didn't even come for his neck after Miami, and you always do that."

You sighed, knowing where this conversation was heading. There was no denying that there was something between you and Carlos, your friends might not know about the times you've kissed, but they definitely noticed the shift in your behavior towards each other.

You found yourself enjoying his company, looking forward to catch a glimpse of him every weekend and craving his touch. You don't know if he feels the same way, but the way he looks at you and finds ways to get you alone tells you he does.

Admitting this to Oscar felt like crossing a line, even though he had always encouraged you to be open about your feelings.

"We're just… getting along better. That's all," you muttered, "And you asked me to behave on social media this season, I'm trying to do that."

"That's bullshit, YN," Oscar shook his head, a teasing smile forming on his lips, "Come on, admit it. Maybe the real reason you didn't attack him this time is because you like him."

"Oscar, we're not having this conversation," you quickly became defensive, "I don't know why everyone insist on something that's far from the truth. I don't like Sainz."

"Sis, it's okay if you like him," Oscar said, his tone gentle but insistent. "You don't have to hide it from me."

You looked away, feeling conflicted. Ever since you first met Carlos, there was something about him that intrigued you, however, you were too caught up in convincing yourself that he would never see you as more than his brand new rival's sister. Things getting worse when his incidents with Oscar on track started and you took that as an opportunity to be reckless to him.

It was a self defense mechanism for your own feelings.

"It's complicated, okay?" you said, feeling vulnerable but knowing you could trust him, "We spent last year coming from each other's necks all the time, but now he's nice to me and I am too, we spend time together, we kiss. But at the same time, I feel like I can't trust him, that he's going to switch to little bitch mode again and I'll end up feeling stupid for potentially catching feelings."

"Holy shit you've kissed!" Oscar said, his eyes widening, "Lando was right all along."

"Oh god, I shouldn't have said anything," you threw your head back in frustration.

"Sorry, sorry," he put his hands up in defense, "But It's okay to feel confused. You can talk to me, you know. I'm your brother, and I just want you to be happy. I can tell that this is really bothering you."

You sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I just don't know what to do, Osc. One minute I think I might actually like him, and the next I'm terrified of getting hurt."

"Look, I know Carlos can be intense on track, but off track? He's a good guy," Oscar sat beside you, putting an arm around your shoulders, "When he's not trying to push me off the track, he's really supportive and a nice guy. There's a reason why Lando adores him. Plus, maybe he's figuring things out too."

You leaned into Oscar's side, grateful for his comforting presence. "Do you really think so?"

"Yeah, I do," Oscar nodded reassuringly. "And you deserve to give yourself a chance at happiness. If Carlos could make you happy, then why not see where it goes?"

"When did you become so wise?" you teased, giving him a small smile, "You're supposed to be my annoying little brother who picks his nose and runs around the house."

"Hey, I can be wise when I want to be," Oscar chuckled, giving you a playful shove, "But don't worry, I'll always be your annoying little brother, nose-picking and all."

You laughed, feeling some of the tension ease from your shoulders. "Thanks, Osc. I needed this."

"Anytime, sis," Oscar said warmly, giving you a quick hug. "Now, come on. Lando is probably drunk already and we haven't made it to his house yet."

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username1 so iconic tbh

username2 EXCUSE ME MISS IS THAT CARLOS SAINZ IN THE LAST PIC ??

↳ username1 i thought they hated each other 😭

danielricciardo 🙌

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↳ ynpiastri and i don’t see you over her which means your boyfriend sucks for not bringing you

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landonorris IM V DRVNK OMG

↳ username3 i love him 😭😭😭😩

username4 carlos sainz and yn piastri the ultimate enemies to lovers lowkey

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You're not sure how it happened, but Carlos' arm laid casually in the back of your chair as you chatted with those around you. His fingers gently brushed your bare shoulder from time to time, his thigh pressed to yours under the table.

Maybe it was the couple glasses of champagne you both had, you're not sure. But you definitely didn't want to move from your spot.

No one dared to say anything about it, but your friends had teasing grins at the sight. You knew you'll have to deal with them later, but you decided to ignore it for the night.

"Alright, I think I'm calling it a night," Oscar said as he got up from his chair, Lando immediately booed, "Are you coming, YN?"

You looked at him with raised eyebrows, you definitely didn't want to leave yet, feeling too comfortable in Carlos' presence. In addition to that, you haven't had a chance to get him alone, and that was enough to not want the night to end.

After a minute of silence from you, Carlos spoke up, "I can give her a ride home if she doesn't want to leave yet," he offered, his voice smooth and nonchalant.

"Oh, a private chauffeur service now, Carlos? How fancy," Max teased from across the table, making the entire group laugh.

Oscar hesitated, glancing between you and Carlos, his protective instincts kicking in. "Are you okay with that, YN?"

"Yeah, I'm okay with it," you met Oscar's eyes and nodded, "Or I can just crash here, Lando is too drunk to notice anyway, don't want to cause much trouble."

"It's really no trouble," he insisted, his hand still resting gently on your shoulder. "I'll make sure you get home safely."

Oscar seemed to relax a bit, though you could tell he was still a little uneasy. "Alright then. Just... be careful, okay?"

"Don't worry, Osc," you replied, standing up and giving him a quick hug. "I'll see you tomorrow."

As Oscar left, the group continued to tease and laugh. You always enjoyed when the drivers were in a casual setting like this one, where they could forget about competition and teams and just hang out and have fun.

You stayed glued to Carlos the entire time, getting even closer as the night went on, you could feel your eyelids getting heavy, so you laid your head on his shoulder.

"You're falling asleep on me, hermosa," Carlos whispered to you, not moving your head from its place.

"I'm not," you protested, but at the same time you did a yawn escaped your mouth, which made Carlos laugh.

"Come on let's get you home," Carlos offered you his hand.

You took Carlos' hand, not even thinking twice about it. As you both stood to leave, your friends couldn't resist one last round of teasing.

"No funny business, Carlos," Charles called out, grinning widely. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at him. "We have Oscar on speed dial."

"Yeah, don't make me come after you, that's also my sister," Lando added, too drunk to even make sense.

You laughed, waving goodbye to everyone as you and Carlos made your way out. The cool night air was refreshing as you walked to his car, your hand still in his.

The drive to Oscar's place was quiet but comfortable. Carlos kept one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the center console close to you. You found yourself stealing glances at him, admiring the way the streetlights played over his features.

At one point, Carlos glanced over and caught you staring. "You're staring," he said, a smirk playing on his lips.

You felt your cheeks heat up but didn't look away. "Maybe I am," you replied, a teasing edge in your voice. "You have a problem with that?"

"Not at all, Piastri. Not at all."

When you arrived at Oscar's place, Carlos parked the car but you made no move to get out. The silence stretched between you, heavy with unspoken words and lingering tension.

"Are you ready to stop pretending we hate each other?" Carlos asked suddenly, his voice low and earnest. "Because I am."

His words hung in the air, causing your heart to skip a beat. The intensity in his gaze made it clear he wasn't playing around or teasing you. He was being real and serious.

You took a deep breath, your eyes locking onto his. "Yeah, I am."

Your heart pounded in your chest as you closed the distance between you, your lips meeting his in a kiss. His hand cupped your cheek, pulling you closer as his lips moved against yours with a mix of tenderness and hunger. The world outside the car ceased to exist, and all that mattered was the way his kiss made you feel.

Carlos' other hand found its way to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss as he pressed you closer. Your hands tangled in his hair, holding on as if letting go meant losing this moment forever.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to catch your breath. Carlos' eyes searched yours, a satisfied smile playing on his lips.

"But… I'm not ready to stop calling you a little bitch, though."

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thyme-in-a-bubble · 4 months ago

Text

tell me again that you hate me

a/n: i kinda just poured all of the filth ever into this one fic... you're welcome.

summary: “you know, I could help you. Pop that little cherry for you,” he shrugged as if he didn’t seem out of his mind for what he was brashly uttering, “you desperately need it, that fucking stick up your ass makes you such a bitch to be around. But no one is gonna wanna bang you, I mean, maybe you could be kinda hot if you weren’t such a fucking loser, if you didn’t dress like a fucking pogue, but I don’t think anyone would commit social suicide like that. So, I’ll take care of it. Fix that problem for the good of everyone else.”

warnings: bully!stepbro!rafe cameron x virgin!reader, smut, dark content, dubcon/noncon, enemies to lovers, rafe is in college while reader is still in high school (everyone is over 18), blackmail, alcohol consumption, allusion to drug use, drunk driving, hidden cameras, panty stealing, references to somno, possessiveness, kissing, loss of virginity, size kink, belly bulge, pain kink, dirty talk, impact play, oral, pussyjob, just the tip, squirting, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, cumplay, no aftercare and not really any foreplay, public sex, rafe is mean and pervy and dark but it's all fun because it's just a silly fantasy

word count: 5153

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Your life had turned into a living nightmare.

You thought that when your high school bully graduated, you’d finally get rid of him. But little did you know what the future held in store, just who your own mother would decide to marry and what particular family you’d be forced to fuse with.

Rafe Cameron had been the bane of your existence for years. Sure, when you’d first met him, you admittedly had a bit of a crush on him, but that was until he noticed you and truly showed you the notorious bully that he was. And now that he, the very person who had turned your teenage years into literal hell, had become your stepbrother, you couldn’t wait to get out of there, move halfway across the globe just to never see his face again.

It also didn’t help matters that you got situated in the room right next to his, even had to share a Jack and Jill bathroom with him.

Now what you didn’t know was how Rafe’s feelings truly were towards you. How he only started bullying you because you made him feel some type of way that no other chick did, but you came from the wrong side of the island, so getting those feelings out in the form of cruelty only seemed natural to a guy such as him. You had no idea that it was actually you whom he thought about every time he jerked off on the other side of that incredibly thin wall you shared, or even that his wicked fascination with you only seemed to grow now that you were a part of the family.

The impatient knocks were no use, so swiftly you swung the door to Rafe’s bedroom open. He was nowhere in sight, but before you could turn around to search for him in another place, the light that his computer monitor blared out into the space caught your eye.

Your vision however grew wide as soon as you saw the taboo tab that was open. It was porn, but not just any porn. The open page was littered with rows and rows of graphic videos that all fell under the stepsister search he had typed in.

Frozen in your stance, you wanted to sprint out of there, though at the same time, some part of you wanted to inch closer and snoop further.

“What the fuck are you doing in my room?” a voice blared from behind you and caused you to jump.

Skittering away from the desk, you spotted the familiar buzzcut standing in the doorway.

“I–, uh,” you swallowed and recalled the reason for your hunt, “my mom’s forcing me to go to that party at Topper’s tonight.”

“Okay, and?” he scoffed.

“And so, because I don’t really do that sort of thing–”

“Because you’re a fucking loser who never gets invited.”

“Because I have better things to spend my Friday nights doing, your father wanted you to keep an eye on me and to make sure I got home safe.”

The only way you were gonna get through the night was if you got as wasted as possible.

Which is exactly what you ended up doing.

When the clock chimed two, the raging headache you were developing from the blaring music convinced you to finally call it a night. You’d given it enough of a chance, enough experience to go home and state that partying simply wasn’t for you.

But if you didn’t find the literal demon of a stepbrother and let him complete his end of the bargain, then maybe your mom wouldn’t believe you alone and force you to go to another.

However, locating him turned out to be a much more difficult task than you’d thought. As you stumbled around the massive house, supporting your wobbly weight on the walls as you peeked into each of the rooms where some partygoers had migrated to, you soon dug your phone out of your jeans and dialled up his number.

It was on the third attempted call that you finally stumbled into him. Sitting with a random blonde on his lap and the remnants of a mysterious white powder dusting the coffee table separating you from him.

“There you are,” you grumbled, “I’ve been trying to call you!”

His expression turned sour as he noticed your presence, swiftly flipping his phone around as it layed on the table, though the caller ID that lit up the screen wasn’t of your name as your phone still buzzed in your palm to get through to him. Instead, it spelt out fleshlight in big bold letters.

“So, you have,” he exhaled, “what do you want?”

“I wanna go home,” you shoved your phone back in your pocket.

“So, go home. What do you want my fucking permission? Are you that obsessed with me?”

“You have to take me home,” you reminded him, though when he began to laugh in your face, you shot back, “or you can just deal with your dad yourself when you get home. Your choice if you wanna keep being in his good graces or not.”

That managed to shut him up. Though as he reluctantly pushed the blonde aside and got up from the couch, he muttered just loud enough for you to hear, “fucking prude,” like a curse on the wind just before he marched passed you and grabbed a hold of your arm to drag you with him.

“Ow, Rafe, you’re hurting me!” you tried to tear yourself free of his grip.

“Oh, shut up you baby, no I’m not. You wanna feel what does hurt?” his long fingers then dug further into your flesh and caused it to actually ache, “this.”

As he pushed open the front door, you whined, “ow, please stop,” but when he finally did, he only traded the grasp out with a light shove to your shoulder, directing you further towards his parked car.

When you were planted in the passenger seat with your gaze firmly fixed out the window as the dark streets rolled by, you crossed your arms and mumbled, “I hate you…” gaining enough courage from the dizzying alcohol ravaging your system to utter it out loud.

“What was that?” Rafe cast a glance in your direction.

Twisting your neck to glare back at him, you hesitantly repeated, “I hate you,” though the faint flicker of bravery you’d acquired was snuffed out as swiftly as it ignited when you saw the smirk that bloomed on your stepbrother’s features.

“Aw, don’t tell me that, princess,” he chuckled, “you’ll just make me hard.”

Eyes widening, they briefly fluttered down to the crotch of his trousers before you blinked away, a reaction that was evidently satisfying enough for Rafe to cause him to keep going.

“But you probably wouldn’t know what to do with it anyway.”

“I know what to do,” you said defensively, though regretted your humouring him as soon as the words slipped out past your lips.

“Oh yeah? Just how would you know that? Everyone knows you’re a fucking virgin,” something he was to blame for, though that wasn’t a fact you ever had to know. You didn’t have to be aware of just how many times he had stopped guys from asking you out, just because he wanted you all to himself, “but are you secretly a perv, sis? Is that how you think you know what to do?”

“Don’t call me that,” you cringed lightly.

“What? A perv? Or sis? Don’t you wanna be reminded that you’re my stepsister?”

“Not particularly...”

As the car curved into the driveway to Tanny Hill, an offer suddenly rolled off Rafe’s tongue.

“You know, I could help you. Pop that little cherry for you,” he shrugged as if he didn’t seem out of his mind for what he was brashly uttering, “you desperately need it, that fucking stick up your ass makes you such a bitch to be around. But no one is gonna wanna bang you, I mean, maybe you could be kinda hot if you weren’t such a fucking loser, if you didn’t dress like a fucking pogue, but I don’t think anyone would commit social suicide like that. So, I’ll take care of it. Fix that problem for the good of everyone else.”

Your mouth hung agape as the vehicle rolled to a stop, the sudden shift made you fear that your latest drink would come up again.

Utterly stunned, you couldn’t form a single word as you stared back at him.

“I mean, it’s what you want, isn’t it?” he went on, turning in his seat to gaze over at you, already undressing you with his eyes, “haven’t you always had the hots for me?”

“I–…” it felt as if the car was swaying around even though it stood completely still, “…I drank way too much tonight, and I think you might have as well.”

“You’re drunk?” darkness glinted in his eyes, “well, I honestly don’t know if I should be impressed or run inside and wake everyone up so you can get grounded for fucking ever,” he laughed.

“No!” you gasped, “You can’t tell them, please! I–…” you felt tears begin to sting the corners of your eyes and blur up your already hazy vision, “fuck!”

Leaning even further back in his seat, he cocked his head, “I mean, I could also keep it a secret…” the tip of his tongue mischievously slipped out to poke his lip, “for the right price, that is.”

“Seriously?” you glared back at him, “are you serious right now?”

Capturing your hand, he swiftly brought it to the palpable tent in his pants, “do I not seem serious?” his eyes narrowed ever so slightly to a squint.

Your lips parted in shock, stare flickering away from his eyes to spot how he ever so slightly pressed your palm down against him.

He was so hard that you could nearly feel his pulse through the fabric of his trousers.

“I mean, really I’d be helping you out,” your gaze stayed glued to how his broad hand engulfed your own a moment longer before you glanced up to find his unwavering stare once more, “so you should really thank me for both keeping your secret and doing you such a massive favour…”

As a shaky breath escaped your lungs, you whispered once more, “I hate you…”

But the proclamation only conjured a smile to appear on his lips, “tell me again,” and he leaned in a bit closer.

“I hate y–,” but you didn’t get the last bit out as Rafe then crashed his lips against yours.

It took a second for you to react with anything other than a surprised whimper, but when you did, it was slow and cautious compared to his boldness.

A string of saliva strung you together as he eventually parted from you. Offering himself a small caress, he pressed your palm down against him one last time before he let you go. His breathing was heavy as he momentarily let his thumb trace your bottom lip, briefly slipping it crudely in your mouth, before uttering, “get inside.”

Why, after all of this time, after all of the pain and torture he alone made you go through, why did he still have to give you butterflies the way that he did?

It was your room that he led you to, a hand ever rooted on you as you made the journey. At first, you thought it was because he saw the way you occasionally stumbled over your own feet, but perhaps it was just in case you wanted to make a run for it, just a precaution, a safety net already halfway over you.

“Take your clothes off,” he commanded in a cold tone as he shut the door behind you.

“W-what?” you turned to look back at him.

Sitting down on the edge of your bed, he repeated, “take your clothes off,” though they came out sounding slightly impatient.

He palmed himself through his pants as you slowly began to strip. Though as you’d shyly peeled your t-shirt off and dropped it to the floor, his voice halted you just as you began to undo your jeans.

“Stop,” his voice cut the thick air like a knife, “turn around when you pull those down,” you twisted away from him as your thumbs sank into either side of the waistband, “and do it slowly,” he made you put on a show, ogling as you gradually revealed the curve of your ass, “that’s it…” he nearly moaned as your pants crumbles to the floor, “bra and panties too, princess. Unless of course, you’re backing out of our deal already.”

Clenching your jaw, you squeezed your eyes shut and shed the rest, ignoring his soft wolf whistles and crude comments as you exposed yourself.

Slowly turning back around to face him, your hands were clasped before you out of sheer timidness and not knowing what to do with them.

“You gonna stand over there all night?” he raised his chin slightly.

When your feet stood rooted right before his seated position on the bed, your hands began to fiddle as he pulled his shirt over his head and caused your pulse to somehow beat even harder than it already did.

One of his palms then scooped up your stomach and briefly grabbed one of your tits before scooping you closer, “come here,” and utilised his leverage to toss you down on the bed beside him, “let me get a good look at you.”

Grabbing for the bedsheets as the mattress momentarily bounced beneath your spine, you blinked up at Rafe as he sat next to you, twisting his form and craning down to near your core.

You tried to clamber your legs shut, embarrassed for what his cruel reaction might be, but he was not only faster, but stronger than you, and grabbed a hold of your thighs. As he split you apart, his lips curled up into a grin.

“Look at you… fuck,” he let out a short chuckle, “this is gonna be fun.”

A gasp curled out of your frame as he then grazed his thumb over your folds, smearing some of the mortifying wetness that seeped out and made you feel even more intoxicated than you already were. He lightly spread you apart and studied intently your dripping pussy, how it looked, how it glistened and how your little hole twitched when he lightly circled your clit.

“Oh, you like this, don’t you?” he rubbed your puffy pearl with a mean lightness that caused your hips to buck slightly, “you like it when your big stepbrother touches you like this?” but when you didn’t reply, he reached down and grabbed your jaw, angling it for you to meet his eye, “answer me.”

“I–… y-yes,” you quietly admitted, feeling as if you were in some strange dream.

“Of course you do, you dirty little girl,” he bent down again to gaze at your pussy a little too close for your taste, “I knew you were a slut since the moment I met you.”

Letting go of your face, he then snaked his free hand down to give himself an ounce of relief.

“You know, part of me doesn’t even wanna prep you with my fingers first,” he smirked and let his fingertips sweep down to tickle your entrance, “I like the idea of not stretching you out first and letting my cock do all the work, let it feel just how tiny and pure you are for me.”

“But isn’t that gonna hurt?” your breath caught in your throat. Sure, you’d played with yourself nearly till your hands fell off, but that idea still managed to scare you.

“God, I hope so,” he groaned and briefly leaned down to press a hot kiss to your clit, sucking it into his mouth and sloppily making out with it.

When he then stood up and pulled his pants down, your jaw nearly hit the floor as well when you saw how thick his dick was. Fat and veiny, curving proudly up towards his abs.

Seizing your hips, Rafe yanked you closer to where he stood, nearly letting your ass dangle over the edge of the mattress.

“Wait,” you suddenly reached out to touch his forearm as he gave himself a few lavish strokes, staring down at your cunt, comparing the obscene size of him to your puff, “what about a condom?” you squeaked as he flicked his leaking tip down to tap your core.

Sucking in a fierce breath through his nose, he glared down at you and shot back, “what about you shut the fuck up and just be grateful,” before he sent his open palm down to smack your pussy.

“Ah! I’m sorry, I just–, fuck!” you shuttered beneath him as he soothed the slap with the nudge of his length, rubbing it against you and teasing your cunt before he started sweeping it through your folds, nearly fucking your soppy slit, the tip of him kissing your little pearl on each silky advance.

A dollop of spit dropped from his lips and joined the mess he already tickled at between your parted legs.

“It’s too big…” you murmured as you stared down at how his fat girth parted your pretty petals, though the observation only conjured a smile on Rafe’s lips, “maybe you could just put the tip in?” you tried through your foggy mind, “that would still count.”

A rumbling chuckle bubbled out of him as he stared down at the two of you together, “just the tip…” his movements then grew more erratic as he slid through your folds, “is that all you think your little virgin cunt can handle?” shy gasps escaped you every time he deliberately let his cock catch at your opening, “just the tip?”

As he slowly pressed just the flush head of his length in to breach your entrance, your brows crinkled up at the mind-numbing stretch.

“Like that, baby?” he only moved ever so slightly, “is that all you think you can handle?” and you nodded foggily in return. But as you let your eyes flutter shut and breathed through the staggeringly wonderful sensation, Rafe’s voice once again washed over you, “nah,” like a splash of cold water while you were licking up warm sun rays, “that’s not good enough. This is,” and he then slammed the entirety of his length into you.

Your eyes instantly shot back open and your legs curled up even further on either side of you at the shock.

“What?” he cooed at you mockingly as he slowly dragged his dick back out for just the memory to remain, “does it hurt?”

You were a blubbering and cursing mess, trembling beneath him as your pussy tried to accommodate him.

“Come on, princess,” he bent down over you and let his nose ghost against yours, “tell me that it hurts.”

“It h-hurts,” you whimpered as his hot breath fanned across your blazing cheeks.

It did sting, a lot, but though you hated to admit it, a part of you loved it, a part of you sank even further into the pit of pleasure he so slowly dunked you into.

“Tell me that it’s too big for you,” he nuzzled his nose against yours as he plugged you back up.

Your body shook beneath his every time he moved as much as a millimetre inside you, “i-it’s too big.”

Letting out a low moan of satisfaction, he then leaned down to press his lips to yours, stealing your breath away even further.

You tried, but couldn’t really focus on kissing him back, not that he seemed to mind much as he moaned into your mouth, soon letting his sloppy kisses dance over your cheek and down your neck, letting hickeys bloom in his wake and mark up your skin like a brand.

As he sucked down on the spot where your pulse went wild beneath the skin, his hips drove against yours harder, causing them to collide in a sticky smack, as well as letting the tip of him bully the deepest part of you. He didn’t just do it once, but kept it up as he enjoyed the little squeaks you let out every time he bumped against your cervix.

Kissing his way back up to your lips, he only offered them the briefest of pecks before raising himself off of you, just ever so slightly, and one by one, grabbed your already wide-spread legs and rested each one of them onto his broad shoulders, efficiently folding you in half.

“H-holy shit,” you panted as the mattress rippled beneath you at every one of his rough thrusts, “Rafe–”

“Yeah?” he smirked down at your melted form, the vein in his forehead popping from the strain, “are you gonna cum? Are you gonna cum on your big bro’s dick?” one of his hands swept up to squeeze your tit, then gave it a swift tap before growling, “come on, princess. I can feel you squeezing me so fucking tight. Do it, I fucking dare you. Be a good girl and cum on my cock.”

You almost screamed as you tumbled over the edge, your head curling to the side to hide yourself in the crumbled duvet beneath you as your pussy gushed all over his fat girth.

“Oh, fuck,” Rafe croaked as he straightened back up to get a good view. Pulling out of you, he briefly flicked his dick through your folds to urge more of your nectar to leak out, before he slid it back inside and asked in amazement, “you ever squirted before?”

Trembling from the overstimulation, your eyes rolled in your skull as you shakily mumbled, “maybe twice, I think.”

“Such a good fucking slut,” he growled proudly, “squirting all over me like a proper whore. Just look at you,” his grip dented your thighs as he pressed them further down against the bed, “you’re already a pretty little cockdrunk mess.”

“I–, I–,” you blubbered as you felt drool begin to trickle down your cheek.

“Oh, fuck,” he then groaned, glancing down at where he split you apart, “hold your legs back,” he requested, though had to help your sluggish hands find their way, “look at this, baby,” he scooped a palm behind your head and ushered you to spot what he had noticed. Splaying a wide hand over the lower part of your stomach, he traced the faint bulge that rhythmically appeared, “sure as fuck not a virgin anymore, are you? Fucking ruining that perfect little pussy of yours. Now that’s how you pop a fucking cherry. Aren’t you happy I was in such a charitable mood tonight?” he then pressed down on the imprint rudely, the overwhelming sensation causing your pussy to drizzle a little more around him, “aren’t you, sis?”

“Yes,” you mewled, feeling as if you were floating on a cloud and not getting your guts rearranged.

“You’d let me do anything I’d fucking want, wouldn’t you?” he smirked down at your dazed form.

“Y-yes,” the word flowed out of you, though you couldn’t quite comprehend all of his dirty talk any longer.

“Hold on,” he briefly slowed down and stretched over to reach a small apprentice obscured and hidden in all of the cluttered decor on your nearby dresser. Turning it in his hand, he pointed the discrete camera down to film you, “say it again,” he picked his pace back up, “tell me that you’ll let me do anything I want to you.”

“Anything,” the words bubbled out through your moans, “anything you want.”

“Say that you’re my little slut.”

“I’m yours–, I-I’m your s-slut.”

Tilting the hidden camera down to get a few close-ups, his voice then seeped into you once more, “now tell me again that you hate me.”

One of your hands fluttered down and began to rub your puffy clit.

“I hate you.”

“Again,” he reached down to give your left nipple a harsh pinch.

“I hate you.”

“Keep going, princess.”

And the more times the phrase flowed out past your lips, the more it began to lose its meaning and morph into just another sound, one that was almost akin to the complete opposite kind of proclamation.

Just like you barely noticed when Rafe dug out the hidden camera, so too did you miss it when he put it back down, obscured somewhere among your things, possibly not even the only one.

When you came once again, Rafe didn’t so much as pause when you creamed around his cock and drenched the sheets beneath you that much further.

“There you fucking go,” he sent a palm down to smack the sensitive skin on your inner thigh, “god, you’re so hot. I can’t believe you actually let me do this,” he grinned as your fingers stretched out to graze his wild hips, trying and failing to slow him down, “you’re such a little freak,” he glanced down at the ring of your essence that marked the base of his throbbing cock, “so fucking nasty for your stepbrother. I bet you’d even let me keep using you after you fall asleep. I mean, who’s to say I haven’t already,” he chuckled, “you’re so fucking cute when you sleep. No annoying remarks, no dumb comments… I think I might prefer you that way…” his slamming grew sloppy as he soon moaned, “fuck, I’m gonna fucking cum.”

“Pull out,” you begged through your hazy pants.

And just when you thought he wouldn’t respect your wishes, he yanked out and furiously stroked himself before your winking and wrecked hole as it slowly retraced from the severe stretch. Moaning loudly, he swiftly painted your pussy with his load, getting it all over your puffy petals till he was panting above you. One hand rested on your thigh as he brushed the sensitive head of his cock over the cream, messily tapping the hefty weight of him against your aching clit and making you jump a few times as he smeared it in.

Throwing himself down on the bed beside you, he let out a long sigh and said, “you’re welcome.”

You felt like you couldn’t move, like you might never be able to move again. Your breath still came in ragged as the only thing you could focus on was the sore throbbing centred at your core, that blossomed out through the rest of your nerves.

“Well,” Rafe huffed as he soon lifted himself up to a sitting position, “night,” and without another word, slipped out through your shared bathroom into his own bedroom.

“I can’t believe they made you take me,” you grumbled as you watched Rafe shadow you in the clothing store, “I could have just gone to the mall on my own.”

“You don’t have a car though–, also, why are you the one complaining? I’m the one being forced to go fucking shopping with you of all people.”

Somehow, for some mysterious reason, since you’d moved into Tanny Hill, your collection of underwear had shrivelled down till you barely had enough to get you through the week. Guess that was the price you had to pay for letting someone else do your laundry, though you’d always assumed it would more just be a single sock that commonly vanished in the wash…

When you dipped into the fitting room to try a few of the gathered options on, you only managed to test out two of them before the curtain slid back open and you swiftly scrambled to cover yourself.

“Rafe!” you let out a hushed screech, “what do you think you’re–”

“Try these on,” he handed you a wide stack of hangers. It wasn’t just underwear dangling from them, but also some clothing, though all of it way too revealing than you were used to.

Glancing down at them, you refused to grasp the items and simply stated in a clear tone, “no.”

Letting out a low sigh, he then turned to close the curtain back up before he twisted back to face you, “do you need me to have a little talk with your mom and my dad?” he took a few steps towards you, slowly pushing you into the corner by the tall mirror.

Glaring back at him through your pout, you huffed, “no…”

You stayed in the corner as he then hung the clothing up on the hooks before taking a seat on the small stool where your purse was resting before he swept it to the floor.

“Are you just gonna sit there and watch?”

“Yeah,” he scoffed, “it’s boring as shit out there. At least in here, I might get a moderate amount of entertainment.”

Rolling your eyes, you reluctantly began to try the attire on.

“I hate thongs,” you muttered as you tugged a pair into place over your hip, trying not to catch your stepbrother’s stare as his gaze wandered from your reflection to the perfect view he had of your backside.

“I recall you hate a lot of things you still don’t hesitate to jump on.”

“Whatever,” you sighed, “you have your fun, enjoy this little fashion show, but I’m sure as hell not getting any of these.”

“Well, good,” he uttered demeaningly, “because I’m buying them for you.”

Catching his eye in the mirror, you told him, “I’m still not wearing them. You can’t make me.”

“Yeah,” he puffed out a smirk, “we’ll see about that,” and then tore his gaze away from you to gesture to one of the hangers, “try that dress on, but keep the pink thong on underneath, only the thong though.”

You had to shut your eyes in annoyance a moment before you fulfilled his request, soon standing before him in a scantily cut, pastel mini dress, crafted in a fabric so thin that you could see the faint shadow of your nipples poking through them, especially after they’d turned all pebbly after Rafe had torn that privacy curtain to the side.

“You happy now?” you turned to face him and propped your hands on either side of your hips.

“Hm,” he cockily pursed his lips as his gaze studied you, “I was right…”

Your brows stayed furrowed till you watched his palm slide down to squeeze himself through his shorts.

“What are you doing?” you hissed, eyes growing wide.

“You do look hot in normal clothes.”

“I don’t think any of this is normal…”

“I think it’s time you learned how to suck a cock,” he suddenly announced, eyes still glued to the dress’ low neckline as he unzipped his slacks.

“Rafe…” you breathed.

His eyes flickered up to find yours, “get on your knees,” he tilted his head, “come on, princess. You’ll love it, trust me.”

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