#but that's Not Your Fault :) You Have A Disease
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yeonniesblog · 1 day ago
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Kuroo x reader x oikawa
Synopsis : After years spent by a certain setter along with a small toddler mending you heart, your life was a just like a blissful movie with a happy ending. But little did you know the person who gave you not only the worst years of your life but also the small ball of sunshine, decided to suddenly make a appearance in your fairytale when fate played a wild
reader's note : this is the last chapter, make sure to read it in order! Sorry for the angst hehe.
Part 1 : meeting you again | Part 2 : wouldn't you | Part 3 : broken promises | Part 4 : where it all went wrong | Part 5 : enough for now (current one)
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“she is a fucking psycopath” kenma sighs, putting the car in reverse as he pulls up in his driveway, eyes fixated on the rear view as kuroo watches the irriated expression on his face.
“dude, chill I know you hate kizumi, but I might marry her” kuroo sips his coffee as he lets out a shallow grunt in annoyance too, what was he doing in life.
“no, just think about it, she specifically asked for the ring you bought to propose to y/n, when she knows you could afford to give her much expensive one right now, but, again I repeat. she asked specifically for that ring, only”
the black hair man groans at the explanation, he knows his friend has a point, but he is trying to gaslight himself into believing whatever kizumi explained to him. “i think she just likes it, she was the one who chose it too, all those years ago—” and before kuroo could finish his sentence, the half blonde cuts him off, swiftly taking out his phone from his pocket and muttering something to it “siri, how do you block people in real life”
“yeah, okay, this is a kuroo hate club, I get it” the man sighs, propping his head back on the headrest, closing his eyes. “honestly I know her behavior is weird, but I’m in a tight spot, my only left family is nagging me to marry her, and you know I could care less about marriage” he pauses taking a deep breath. “dad is legit emotionally blackmailing me, sitting at his stupid hospital bed probably faking his disease”
“they want you to marry, doesn't necessarily have to be her” kenma suggests, opening the seatbelt around him. “i cannot marry a stranger, kizumi is a better option, we have been dating on and off for one year” the rooster haired man replies, honestly he really wants to jump off a cliff, but he will suppress the impulsive urges.
“as a rebutal to that, one thing you said was right” kenma sighs finally looking at his friend, kuroo looks tired, or is aged that appropriate word. “her behavior is weird, it's like she has more attachment to y/n than you, she is insecure as fuck of her. you, me and her, we all know she won't ever level up to the place y/n has in your heart, so she trying to become her, its giving me chills” kenma shudders at that thought, physically gagging.
“do you think it's too late for me to get a therapist?” with that kuroo tetsuro groans one more time.
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kuroo sits quietly, hands clasped, looking up with hesitant eyes as he watches you put your purse on the table, stoice face, yet so pretty.
he really meant it when he said you got more gorgeous over the years, there were few lines now adorning your face, mature and elegant glow.
even if he sometimes wonders if it would have been better if you both never met at all, if it would have been better if neither of you had to go through the heartbreak, but he knows,
if there was a spell to go back in time, to where he met you, he would do the same thing. he would make a silly chemistry joke and wait for you to laugh at it, not because it was funny, no it was because it was so bad you laughed at it, it was his fault wasn’t it?
to loose the most precious thing in his life, did you feel worse than him, it wasn't a question, nor a comparison, he wanted to know because he will never forget or forgive himself to give you so much pain over the year.
what did you name the kid? did oikawa tooru’ see how your son took the first steps, was he the one who got called father first, what's his favorite food, does he have a birth mark, does he like volleyball? is your son’ tastes similar to what is his? Just like how he saw the little kid adorning your homely baked goods, similar to what he himself used to do.
it pains him, physically pains him to know he wasn't there for anything, he wasn't there to make you food, hold your hair while you threw up during you morning sickness, not hold your hand while you went into labour, he wasn't part of any of it, six years sometimes means nothing and yet to him, now, it means everything, it means every important thing he lost.
“you don't know how much draining this is for me, to be talking to you, or as a matter of fact to talk about what happened, cause honestly you deserve nothing, not the explanation, not to meet me or ruko” you break the silence first, firmly sitting at your place.
and kuroo wishes he could repent on all the thing you said but the only thought in his mind is what you named your son “his name is ruko?”
“his name is oikawa saruko” you firmly state, a small smile tugging at you lips, you were proud your kid had a father like oikawa, cause you can't imagine anyone else being a better father than him.
tetsuro has never wanted to be in someone else's place as much as he wants to be oikawa now, he sighs at your words. “why didn't you tell me, I would get it if you wanted to get away from me, but don't you think I deserved to know the kid was mine?” his voice quivering as he asks you the question, a weird pang in his chest.
“i tried, I tried so many times” your voice quivers slightly “why do you think I asked for your opinion to have a kid?” that silents the man infront of you, his pupil dilated as he realizes how he explained it, and how it sounded like a definite ‘no” from his side.
“not to mention, even after that I was going to tell you, with my parents kuroo and you didn't show up” he relishes at how defeated he feels when you don't even call him by his first name, so the announcement when you called him was with your parents? his legs tenses up and he stops shaking them.
“i know I don't have any excuse but you know there was a storm that night—”
“yet you left me all alone in that storm, tetsuro” his heart breaks into million pieces, do you even know how much he just wants to pull you close and cry, stain your shirt with his tears of sorrow that he made a mistake and couldn't be in your presence and of joy because after years he was able to see you.
“i—y/n” he tries to put his hands over yours but you are swift to pull away, he knows a million reasons of why your reflex action was right, yet he can't help but feel his throat becoming dry “i’m sorry, I assumed you were with your parents, I had no idea, my phone was dead”
“how can you still lie to me?” your voice croaks, finally looking straight into his eyes, you really don't want to care for whatever his action was or what he did but you can't help but feel wronged.
“what do you mean lie?”
“so your phone was dead enough to not respond to my texts but it was working when you reposted on social media with your now girlfriend, her friends commenting how cute you both looked” you scoff pausing in disbelief “or should I say fiance”
“whatever are you sayi-” then it clicks, it suddenly clicks how kizumi’s friend has always shipped him with her, despite knowing he has a girlfriend, despite him saying he doesn't appreciate it, that it straight up makes him uncomfortable.
how kizumi knew, that your birthdate was his password to Instagram, he remembers her saying it was so cute, its laughable to think how dumb he has been, how could he not notice her intention. but he wishes you told him, he wishes he could have cleared off the last misunderstanding and if he could take it all back he would.
hell, he would never breath the same air as kizumi if he could go back in time and fix things. but he cannot, all he has is regret and all he can do his atone for his mistake, he was hoping you'd be kind enough to let him see his son, he hasn't been a great partner but he sure as heck wants to have some influence in your son’s life—
after all, it was a part of you and him, back then if he actually heard you were pregnant he'd probably be scared as shit, but he would still fight every odds to raise the kid you made, how could he ever resent a mini you, kuroo knows he has no right to feel wronged but all those years without the little guy or even acknowledgment of his existence makes feel burnt.
his lips shaky and he doesn't know if a explanation would even help at this point, nothing would change and even if kizumi was in wrong– so was he though. his mouth ran before he could know.
he looks up at her. “I know you don’t owe me anything, but there’s something you need to hear" your eyes held anger and he was scared of that, he wanted to scream please forgive me, over and over again in a chant but he knew he didn't deserve your forgiveness.
you crossed your arms, wary but patient. you had no idea how you still held on. but they say but they say old habits die hard, and even after six year you had the same patience for him, you wanted to laugh at yourself “Go on.”
“It was Kizumi,” he begins, voice low but firm. “She… she’s the reason things fell apart. She was jealous of you, of what we had. She deleted your texts that night—the ones you sent me about the announcement. She posted on my social media to make it look like I was with her. And she—”
"You didn't know?" your eyes widened and you had no idea how to feel after hearing that, conflicted feeling filled your lungs and the wall of resolve you have solidified getting cracks of doubt in them, but you remained firm.
“No,” Kuroo says quickly, his voice thick with regret. “I was blind, stupid, and I didn’t see what was happening. I let her control too much. I thought I could trust her. But I swear, if I’d known—” He stops, realizing that no matter what he says, it won’t erase the past.
you stare at him, your face unreadable, but there was turmoil behind your eyes “So, you’re saying it was all her fault?”
“No. No..no.” Kuroo says firmly, shaking his head. “It was my fault too. I let her into my life, I didn’t listen to you, and I didn’t fight for you when it mattered. That’s on me. I just… I need you to know that I didn’t abandon you on purpose.”
you exhale slowly, looking down at you cup, a closure huh? but what does that change ? you know oikawa is much more important to you now, nothing could change that, nothing could make you ever abandon the perfect family you have right now. “I believe you, Tetsuro. But that doesn’t change what happened. You weren’t there when I needed you, and I had to pick up the pieces alone. Oikawa was there. He’s been there for me and for Ruko.”
even if there is a shaky heartbeat you feel around your past lover you know it was not meant to be. there are so many things unsaid and there will be so many things which will be, you are a mom now and you could never be an careless one. and as much as tears were welling up in your eyes for what could have been, you won't risk anything for what it is now.
Kuroo swallows the lump in his throat. “I know. And I’m glad he’s been good to you both. I just… I missed so much, Y/N. I want to know him. I know I don’t deserve it, but I want to try.”
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bonus scene
Kuroo sits on a bench, watching from a distance as you and Oikawa playing with your son, Ruko. The boy—his son, biologically—has Oikawa’s mannerisms but your smile. Kuroo’s chest tightens as he watches the little boy stumble, only for Oikawa to sweep him up, spinning him around while you laugh.
They look like a family. They are a family
Kuroo thinks to himself, maybe this could have been you both if he wasn't consumed by the thought that you both would also be horrible parents much like your families.
you notice him then, your gaze meeting his. There’s no anger in your eyes anymore, just a quiet understanding. you approach him cautiously, arms crossed. “You’re here,” you speak, trying to keep your tone neutral.
“I just wanted to see him,” Kuroo admits. “I won’t interfere much. I just… needed to see him.”
You sit beside him, keeping a respectful distance. “He’s happy, you know. Oikawa’s a good father. He loves Ruko like he’s his own.” and that breaks kuroo's heart, as much as he tries to look positively at this. He can't help but feel his heart become empty, can't help but wish to be where oikawa is right now in your life.
Kuroo nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I can see that. He’s a lucky kid.” you glance at him, your expression softening. “I know the truth now, about Kizumi. About what happened. I’m… sorry you were caught in that.”
“I’m sorry too,” Kuroo says, his voice breaking. He knows it's not enough but all he can do is regret it over and over again. “For everything. For not being there, for letting you down. I should’ve fought harder for us.” you look away, your gaze fixed on Oikawa and Ruko. “Maybe. But it’s too late now, Tetsuro. We’ve both moved on.” and he feels a bit happy, you used his first name, God he is so pathetic
“I know,” he whispers, his heart breaking all over again. “But I’ll never stop wishing I could go back and do it right.” and before you are able to say anything you notice a small figure approaching you, you feel at ease when you notice it's your son, oikawa stood a bit away, he felt protective over you both but he doesn't want to snatch away the closure you deserve, and he can't snatch away ruko from his biological dad. so he stays silent cause he knows ruko would pick him for sure, he loves the little guy to death after all.
“Ruko, this is… this is Tetsuro,” you say gently, getting up from the bench only to kneel beside your son.
The boy looks up, curious but cautious. “Hi,” he says softly, clutching his toy dinosaur.
Kuroo crouches down, his heart aching as he gets his first close look at his son. Ruko has Y/N’s eyes and his messy black hair. He smiles faintly. “Hey, buddy. That’s a cool dinosaur you’ve got there. What’s his name?”
“Cupcake,” Ruko replies, holding it up proudly.For a moment, Kuroo wants to giggle, pondering why a dinosaur would be named Cupcake, but he holds back, his lips twitching into a soft smile. “Cupcake, huh? That’s a pretty unique name. Why’d you pick it?”
Ruko beams, his small chest puffing up with excitement. “Well—it’s not weird, okay? It’s ’cause I love dinosaurs and I love Mom’s handmade cupcakes, so I mixed two favorite things at once!”
Kuroo freezes for a moment, his breath catching in his throat. Cupcakes. His gaze flickers briefly to you, you who look away, your expression unreadable. He remembers countless nights when he’d come over to your place, exhausted from work or practice, and the smell of your freshly baked cupcakes would make him feel like he was home. They were his favorite—a sweet, simple treat that reminded him of your warmth.
And now, their son shares that same love.“That’s… that’s actually genius,” Kuroo finally says, his voice hoarse with emotion. “Cupcake is the perfect name for a dinosaur. You’ve got great taste.”
Ruko grins proudly, going on to describe Cupcake’s many adventures and how he takes the toy everywhere. Kuroo listens intently, his heart clenching. There’s an ache beneath his chest—a mix of pride, love, and regret. He and Ruko have so much in common, and yet, this is the first time he’s learning it.
The realization stings, and he resents you a bit for that but it also fills him with a bittersweet joy. Ruko is bright, imaginative, and full of life. He’s a part of you and him—a reminder of what you both once had. And kuroo decides he can live with that. That's enough for now isn't it?
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Finally ending this series, I get embarrassed whenever I reread it but it was my first series and it has been in my drafts for years. But here I ending, thank you for everyone who waited for this.
Here is the taglist (it's based on people who were waiting for it) : @reikashe @mikaela26sstuff @chita318 @mxrice @freddiemylovelg @glxar @amarinthe @rinsangel @captainchrisstan @gamacha @cheeseriz @pluviophilefangirl @bnha-bakusquad @asaitashi @lordmomourmomoness @missyasmim @macky-attoh @belle643 @on-crows-wings
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bioethicists · 3 months ago
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it's very important to understand how a personality disorder diagnosis functions in the psychiatric system, even if you identify with the diagnosis or find it useful.
personality disorders on your medical record will be used to discredit anything you say or do. they indicate "don't bother listening to this person; apply treatment regardless of their wishes but also they're probably manipulating/attention-seeking so maybe don't bother treating them". needing support becomes attention-seeking. behaviors that would be treated + supported in someone without this diagnosis are ignored or treated as manipulative. providers are instructed to "withdraw warmth" (a real thing in the DBT provider's manual, btw) in response to self-injury or suicidal ideation.
if you have been dx'd with a personality disorder professionally, you likely understand this.
now, here's the important part: this is not an issue of 'stigma' against a politically neutral, pre-discursive True Disease which is being Unfairly Maligned. these diagnoses were formulated based on the idea that some patients cannot be trusted, that some patients seek care too much. they are applied to patient charts as a justification for withdrawing care or as a dismissal of someone "not getting better" fast enough. in the uk, they are often employed by the nhs to shame or problematize people who use large amounts of nhs resources, arguing that receiving a lot of care through the nhs is a negative behavior stemming from a disordered personality.
there are elements of personality disorders which resonate strongly with many people, including myself, but you need to be clear-eyed about the origins + functions of this diagnosis. as a whole, they were created + function as ways to discredit + mistreat noncompliant or "difficult" patients. 'reclaiming' them is not going to change how they function systematically- it is going to make it easier to engage in this systematic neglect by evoking 'ableism' or 'stigma!' when people question the utility or application of the diagnosis.
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monsterkissed · 25 days ago
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trying to read up books with info and advice for ppl with PTSD/trauma/etc and jesus wept but this is possibly the most manipulatively pandering genre of literature i have ever touched
every one of these has been like "there are two kinds of trauma victims, Goodites and Nasties. goodites are gentle sensitive self-aware victims and nasties are miserable volatile people who all grow up to be abusers who prey on them. you can easily tell them apart: nasties are always blaming other people for their own problems, while goodites are always being victimised by the people around them. nasties make snap judgements about others based on emotional biases, while goodites have developed strong and highly accurate senses of intuition and gut feelings. due to the cruelty they've suffered, goodites often suffer from imposter syndrome and have distorted negative views of themselves and poor self-esteem, while nasties are sad, pathetic, above all deeply insecure people who hate themselves for no good reason because they're so awful and worthless. now you might be wondering which kind you are, but thankfully only goodites have the self-awareness and self-improvement attitude necessary to do the right thing and buy this book"
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raspberryzingaaa · 1 year ago
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Thinking about going to World Most Boring Bible Study Ever. Idk yall. Idk. Idek.
#the number of times i have faked a call yo leave early. the number of times ive played solitaire on my phone. i got to the potty to kill tim#like! just answer questions its not that hard!!!!!!#you dont even need to be right just throw some spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks!#also group leaders stop reading questions from a script from your phone#ALSO PLEASE CAN WE STOP GOING THROUGH THE SAME VERSES WE GO THROUVH ON SUNDAYS#this is why we have a split in our life group/church crowdm just sayin#i just. i just miss doing bible studys with people who were way smarter than me#being a church kid in a college church is just 👁👄👁#i shpuldnt be dreading going to bible study!!!!!!#so its probably a me problem right?!#and also the group leaders have had to tell me to stfu more than once (politely. which was really annoying. dont pussyfoot around!!)#also our only bible study is also our ~only space for new comers~ so i get in trouble if i get too meaty in my excitements and theology#EHICH SHOJLDNT BE MY FAULT!!!!!!!#and YEAH it IS my fault that its my only spot where im spiritually feeding. but also there is a secret eomens group people mention that..#i guess im just excluded from? but also i know most of the women dont like me bc I have interminable Doesnt Shut Up Disease l#like i understand fhat yes it is a little my fault rhat me talking about deep theology makes them feel inadequate but also THAT SHOULDNT BE#guh. i also forgot my meds today so im a little bit more mulish and hard hearted#and i KNOW its a teachable moment amd God is usimg this to temper me or something else but im feelimg grumblr#and ill probably delete this later.#and i have to got to work ok bye
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somejerkguy · 1 year ago
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I just get told so many times "you just haven't found the right people"
other people pick up relationships of all kinds over their whole lives though? and those people float in and out of each other's lives, stay in touch, catch up when they can
like. I don't think it's unreasonable to not try again when every single person I've cared about has closed the door behind them on the way out
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tiredtriedfailures · 11 months ago
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i get trans men being filed in as Man (derogatory) by other queer people i do it to myself
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eggsnatcheskneecaps · 1 year ago
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.
#no because my parents have always been so weird to me from a medical standpoint#or abusive? neglectful. I don't know what i could possibly call this but#my Nystagmus. barely doing any research WHEN THEY ARE DOCTORS it's not like they don't know how to look stuff up#barely giving me any information on it. which crashed badly a few years ago when the dude at one of those glasses shops got scared by not#being able to give me full vision which promoted my parents into bullying me about possibly going blind and trying to twist it into being#my phone's usage fault. when low and behold! we go to an actual doctor. my vision didn't increase or decrease much and she says that#Nystagmus cannot be 20/20 THEN MY MOM STILL TRIES TO PROVE IT'S THE PHONE'S FAULT#also how they treated my Lyme Disease when i was little but I'm not. talking about that publicly.#and the fact that they were completely obsessed with the idea that I'd have a speech impediment back in the day#which was probably caused by the fact my sibling was Learns Very Early How To Talk And Does It Really Well flavour of autistic and I was#Barely Talks Very Late And Badly flavour of autistic#which meant they would force speech classes down my throat and when the teachers would go 'Nothing actually wrong with this kid' they'd#send me somewhere else#also the constant 'If you don't learn to talk correctly everybody will think you're stupid and they won't talk to you' which ok. ableist.#anyway the 'speech impediment' was your average 4 y o cannot pronounce r which i got over and they were still turning my life into hell#over it years down the line which meant i was in middle school convinced i had a speech impediment which at that point#WOULD HAVE BEEN A HEALTH ISSUE BUT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT DO WE MOM/DAD#and i realised I don't only because my best friend went 'girl tf no you don't'#that is without to mention my father tried to ask me if i wanted surgery for my (inexistent) speech problem because he heard it fixed#someone else's kid problem#also in middle school i had some blood tests and they supposedly came back saying I'm anemic + i had strep but they didn't do anything#about that and at most blamed my anemia on my period which. i should probably get myself some bloodtests as an adult lol#then there is the one time they forced me to go to school with a mcfucking fever lol lmao#oh and also i would try to talk to them about these weird head tremors/seizures i have and they once again tried to blame it on my phone#only for my mom to see me having one recently and go 'oh yea lol i have them too it's normal' yes thank you /s#and they generally don't listen to me trying to sound the alarm about possible health issues i have unless my brother points them out...#aaaaand there is the entire shitshow they did to me when i was diagnosed with depression and put on pills#at least they are currently nicer about me saying i have autism but they didn't take me seriously at first neither...#egg.txt#vent
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bravevolunteer · 2 years ago
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a choice i constantly go back and forth on is whether or not i want michael to have graduated high school....... because on one hand falling behind on grades/accumulating absences/dropping out fits ( especially with how i have him in those few years before sister location working and trying to figure out what sticks, he didn't really have a long term plan ), but on the other..... there's this particular pain that comes with being the only one who makes it that far but feeling so undeserving of it, achieving something you thought and were TOLD you wouldn't but having no one to celebrate it with
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david-watts · 1 year ago
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maybe I'm a bit possessive but I HATE it when mainlanders and god forbid non-australians especially yanks are all 'we should bring back the thylacine because it's OUR fault it's extinct' like who's we? this is something white tasmanians did. if you wanna mourn an extinct species due to human action go find something local to you instead
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shailion · 1 year ago
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They either want something from you (your food/drink, sweat, for you to get away from their nest) or they think you're a weird shaped tree to perch on
They don't mean any harm (except for the ones who want you to go away although they rather not do it if they have a choice)
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the-green-dot · 14 days ago
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feeling very 😵‍💫 about dental care in this country
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sphingogo · 6 months ago
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only on Twitter can statements like “exposing cancer patients to COVID (the disease that kills people, especially people with cancer) so you can throw an in-person event is a terrible thing to do” and “throwing events without COVID (the disease that kills people) mitigations kills people” be controversial
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tahani-family · 3 months ago
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GAZA 😭😭🇵🇸🔗⬇️
support us we lost our home and our workes😔💔
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My children are sick from the cold and the spread of diseases, and they are all in pain. I have been displaced with my children many times, and each time we had to bleed her precious evacuation money to buy transportation and transportation.
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These conditions are absolutely catastrophic. It's the end of the world. No child, no mother, no person should have to go through this.
You can help by donating and sharing so we don't have to struggle anymore. All we are hoping for is to get enough money to evacuate to Cairo so we don't have to rely on the black market for simple things like food anymore.
You can help. 
Please take time out of your day to donate to my family, our campaign is moving very slowly and we need your help.
Please help my family get out of this hell. We, like all human beings, deserve safety, comfort, and warmth, and now you have a way to help provide these things for us.
https://gofund.me/5770752d.
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Dear, please don't let me down, we deserve life and we deserve your generosity and kindness towards us, you are our lifeline and with your generosity you give us life even a little, but you relieve us of injustice and the cursed war, you are the hope and life once again, be side by side hand in hand, we will make a big difference with faith, strength, will and determination, we will reach the goal, we are very close, I hope you participate and contribute if you can. 💜🇵🇸🍉🍉💐💐.
I am a mother of three beautiful little girls, Sana and Hanan. Hla has been sick recently and Hla needs to be vaccinated very soon, but I can tell you that the situation has been very difficult in Gaza and the campaign has been slow lately.
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Thank you to everyone who donated and participated from the bottom of my heart, but my campaign needs more support and interaction. I think that my campaign did not receive the required interaction and attention. It is not my fault that I am Palestinian so that I do not receive support. I think that other campaigns and non-Arab campaigns take momentum from interaction and support. It is not my fault that a Palestinian is marginalized for the sake of my children, humanity, and children's rights. Help m🙏🏻🙏🏻💔💔.
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My name is Tahani, I am 30 years old from Gaza and I have three very young children, Sana, Hanan and my youngest, Hala, who grew up during the war. Our house was destroyed, I was displaced several times and I am currently separated from the rest of my family - my husband, brothers, sisters and parents. I cannot tell you how stressed I am.
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@xxx-sparkydemon-xxx @lampthehealthminister @baandar @doug-dimmadumb @astronotesstuff @prokyon @the-bitch-isback @aceofrage @intheindustrynow-blog @horrorcore2002 @thescavenger29 @yvening @springcres @meowmaids @akaratna @ezras-turtleneck-blog @fagarlic @grandpom @omens-augury @pianta @kingtransgender @friendlizard @intricatecakes @marbirds @error-core-animations @block-swing-perry @br-eddrolls @kraigerzz-blog @daily-click-reminders @commissions4aid-international @anneemay @tumkaafiho @balaclava-trismegistus @ripley-stark @mangocheesecakes @bees-fantasies @girl4pay @turtletoria @rikebe @esperantoauthor @starless-gaze @frehsca
I am doing my best to take care of my children by myself, despite facing hunger, thirst, disease and the threat of death. The other day, there was heavy shelling near me and another family close to us was killed. Life in Gaza is now hell and I tell you that we are living as if we are waiting for our turn to die.
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I am Tahani from Gaza, I am 30 years old. I stand before you as a person trying to maintain my family. I am married and a mother of three children: Sana, who is seven years old, Hanan, who is five years old, and a girl named hla. She grew up during the war and in very harsh conditions that no human being can bear. I moved from the hospital directly to the tent. I cannot describe the extent of the suffering and difficulty of living in the tent.
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But I need help. The situation in Gaza is very bad right now, with the IDF preventing aid from entering and the food, water and medicine that is available are very expensive. Please share and donate to help me and my children survive and eventually leave Gaza.
Thank you all. I hope you will support me to save my life and the lives of my children🇵🇸🍉🍉.
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‼️Please don’t skip taking a look 🍉🇵🇸.
We are trying to survive in miserable conditions in tents in Mawasi Deir al-Balah, south of Gaza. It is difficult for me to find the words to describe what we face every day in Gaza. No food, no medicine, no clean drinking water, oppression, helplessness, psychological pressure, doubts and daily trauma due to the loss of loved ones. In Gaza, it is not only hunger, disease and fear; it means actual death.
We have been forced to move more than 7 times, and my house has been completely destroyed, and I cannot provide enough milk, diapers, medicines, and vitamins for my children.💔🍉🇵🇸😭
Now, I find myself in this difficult situation, and I strongly and humbly ask for your help to save the lives of my family, especially my children, by getting us out of Gaza. The situation in Gaza has become unbearable due to slow death as a result of hunger, thirst, displacement, the spread of diseases and continuous bombing.🍉🇵🇸💔
The past months have been full of hell and horror. This war has gone on for too long, and our mental health and lives are constantly at risk. We have reached a point where there is no hope anymore in Gaza, as if we are waiting for death. Even if a ceasefire is reached, the devastation in Gaza in all its forms cannot be quickly repaired
Please help me and my children to get us out of genocide🍉🇵🇸💔.
Your help will contribute greatly to alleviating our suffering. I hope you will share my story with your family and friends.💔💔
I will be forever grateful for your kind assistance in this difficult time🇵🇸🇵🇸
Thank you for your kindness and generosity❤️.
Donation link 🇵🇸👇
https://gofund.me/5770752d
1. Verified using Butterflyeffect Project font (1153)
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #275 )✅️
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giantkillerjack · 5 months ago
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I've said it before and I'll say it again:
If you are disabled and you need to lie to get the accommodations you need or to escape ableist social harassment, then it is not just morally acceptable to lie in that scenario, it is morally GOOD.
I say this with no irony or satire whatsoever (unlike the original post, which is very much meant to be sarcastic).
Abled people are always trying to be the "hero" who finds the "fakers," as though "fakers" are actually a concern for disabled people. - When instead I don't know a single disabled person who hasn't been denied the care they need by being called a faker on multiple occasions. That's what we ACTUALLY live in fear of.
(Also, notably, finding the "faker" is not actually about protecting disabled people for these self-appointed "heroes". It's actually about finding an ego-boosting outlet for personal aggression and frustration. They don't care that the government has the funding to care for all of us and yet refuses. They just want to pretend this isn't about them, and are using other disabled people as a moral shield.)
Besides, every person I've met who is actually LYING about their disability has done so not because they are faking being disabled (for all the AWESOME benefits that DEFINITELY exist - ????), but because their ACTUAL disability is not taken seriously by the gatekeepers who can deny them the help they need.
Lying in this scenario protects a disabled person from stigma, injury, pain, death, and/or social neglect. This is a moral good. Lying to protect people from abuse is good, yourself included.
You shouldn't get a wheelchair, walker, cane, shower chair, or any kind of assistive technology mobility aid because then you might become dependent on them. Just like how you also shouldn't get glasses if you have bad eyesight because then you might become dependent on those.
For instance, if you end up stuck using corrective eyewear, you could actually lose your ability to tell what things are even when they are extremely blurry! You need to get used to having migraines from seeing unclearly because if you wear glasses all the time, you are basically giving up!! You don't need to see things coming at you from far away! You just need to get good at dodging, and if you can't, then you have no one to blame but yourself!!
For example, I read a really heart-worming article recently about a girl who was stuck using glasses - just absolutely, tragically trapped in her eyewear from dawn to dusk, even though she was good and never ever complained; and I heard she trained herself to discern the blurry faces of her loved ones with 60% accuracy! - she was even able to walk down the aisle at her wedding WITHOUT forcing the discomfort of seeing a woman in glasses on all her guests!!
Sure, she had to give her vows with a splitting headache, and she couldn't see her husband's expression when he said "I do," but overall, SO inspi-ration-al!!! So up-lifting!!
(She didn't even have to use a seeing eye cane, which would have been the worst-case scenario, obviously, because she worked hard to make sure she looked LESS disabled, not MORE disabled!!! Everyone knows blind people exist solely to be a cautionary tale to sighted people!!)
Also, did you know some people get glasses when they only need them a little bit?? How selfish of them! Sure, there's not a shortage, and an increase in demand would result in overall increased accessibility to glasses--but emotionally it's like taking glasses away from someone who needs them more! After all, if everyone who needed glasses got them, then...... um...... more people would have glasses! Which is probably bad!!!!
I also had a friend who was trapped in glasses who saved up all her money for laser eye surgery, and I don't know why everyone doesn't just do that! Sure, some doctors say some people don't "qualify" and it "won't help" those people, but that's why you can't give up!! You don't want to be one of those people!
After all, what's the worse thing that could happen with an unnecessary laser surgery to the face that comes with crippling debt??? It's worth the risk to gain your FREEDOM back, and I'm so proud of my friend!!
Tragically, she did die later that year while driving Uber and squinting at street signs, but at least now I know my friend is finally free from the shackles of her terrible eyesight. #ripAshley #rippedAshley #justripit 😌😌😌❤😇😇😇
And that's why you shouldn't get used to using a mobility aid!! Because, like glasses, they are inherently embarrassing to be seen with; and - like glasses - it is more noble to silently suffer than to depend on unnatural technologies that force you to rely on them!!! (Besides, everyone else will be SO much more comfortable if you look normal!)
I hope you learned something today. 💖
#original#disability#ref#might just make a separate post about this but here you go#autistic meltdowns can cause me serious nerve damage and trauma and if i have enough of them in close enough succession... death#but people don't understand that. they think it is a child's tantrum most of the time.#so i call them seizures. because functionally that's what they are. and as long as i can communicate well enough to make sure#no dumbass tries to shove a wallet in my mouth - which DOES NOT HELP SEIZURES in any case btw - then i say it's a seizure#people are nicer and more helpful and more accommodating all around. saying 'if this happens i can have a meltdown'#involves a huge amount of risk and effort for them to understand. but 'i could have a seizure' - suddenly they DO have accommodation for me#fancy that!!#if your professor is gonna be a judgy ableist bitch about you missing class from a ptsd episode (or if you don't know how they'll react)#then tell them you have the flu. no questions get asked. they don't want the flu. they'll tell YOU to stay home!#and if they are ableist then they won't secretly think you're crazy or being dramatic and weak!#I used to feel really bad about the fact that I would do that. but now I recognize that it was really smart actually and in fact good.#if someone said i can't treat your broken leg unless you also have gastrointestinal distress#then baby you better tell them you got a stomach ache#if you can only walk 20 feet but you are denied a wheelchair if you can walk more than 15 feet... no you can't.#if the fire department won't believe your house is on fire unless you say you can smell the fires of Mount Doom specifically then#by god you are Frodo with the One Ring. whatever it takes not to die in this fire.#and you don't have to feel guilty about it either. you're not the one withholding firefighting services from people with burning houses#they have enough time and money to put out all the fires in the town. they just don't want to. that's not your fault.#if the fire dept told you they'll only put out the fire in your house if it is an electrical fire then don't tell them about the grease fir#like in an ideal world we would all be totally honest all the time but in this world if your disease doesn't have the right code in#Aetna's system then they'll leave you to die idk what to tell you.#protect yourselves. protect each other. break rules. be punk.#cripplepunk#for legal reasons i am clarifying that i have never lied to an insurance company.
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genderqueerdykes · 3 months ago
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one of the most evil parts about me being told that i needed to lose weight before i could get my diseased gallbladder removed was that without telling me at all whatsoever, the physician's assistant who was responsible for my surgery consult silently gave me a referral for bariatric weight loss surgery. she told me that i'd have to get my gallbladder removal surgery with that department as well because they're used to working on bigger bodies.
she told me this, but that's not what she meant. she wanted me to get bariatric weight loss surgery all because i told her that i have poly cystic ovarian syndrome and that it's hard for me to willingly lose weight. when i called the bariatric surgeons about scheduling my consult for my gallbladder removal, they were extremely confused and were like "well is this for the bariatric surgery referral or the gallbladder removal referral?"
without my permission, without me asking, the physician's assistant silently signed me up for weight loss surgery that i never consented to. i never once mentioned wanting this surgery. i never once mentioned that my weight is affecting my health or bothering me. this person saw this as a mandatory step in order to get the surgery to remove my diseased organ. as if there were no other options. i never want to get bariatric weight loss surgery because i know it will completely devastate my health. this PA was so stuck on my weight. she could not get over it, she was literally obsessed. she did not care about my health, safety or well being, she was just obsessed with her hatred of fat people
she saw my weight as a higher priority than my diseased gallbladder. she was so stuck up her own ass that she was convinced that my weight was doing more damage to me than my gallbladder was. she wanted to keep blaming me for eating a high fat diet (i'm a vegetarian- i don't eat a high fat diet) and mocking me for being fat. she literally saw me being fat as a bigger issue than the fact that i had a literal rock stuck in the neck of one of my organs. if you ask me, if the surgeons and anesthesiologists have problems working on fat patients, that's a skill issue on them. that means you're a bad surgeon or anesthesiologist and you need to try to improve your skills. this is a literal skill issue, it's not the patient's fault that the medical professional fucking sucks at their job!
i can't describe to you how evil and insidious that is. the fact that she looked at me and went "oh my fucking god it's your weight that's the problem just go lose weight you fat asshole" just showed how much disregard she has for her fat patients. it's like she relishes torturing us or leaving us to be sick or die. there's no reason to behave this way. there's no reason to FORCE someone into weight loss surgery. my health is NOT being negatively impacted by my weight- gallstones are not caused by being overweight, and you can't give yourself gallstones. no matter how much fat you eat you can't give yourself gallstones- this is something that happens outside of your control
i hate medical professionals who are proudly fatphobic. they wear the fact that they let people remain sick and die as a badge of honor. like they're doing the world a favor. like staying sick or dying is better off for the patient. like the patient somehow doesn't "DESERVE" to be in good health. fat people DO deserve to be in good health. we DON'T have to "EARN" surgeries or life saving procedures. we are alive and human just like everyone else. this qualifies us for being cared for medically, no matter what. leave your prejudices at home. you can't just kill fat people because you don't like that we exist.
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Arw you really the author John Green? The same person who wrote The Fault in Our Stars and Looking for Alaska?
Yes, but I published one of those books 19 (?!?!?!) years ago and the other 12 (!?!?!?!?) years ago. What have I been up to since then?
My brother Hank and I started Good.store, which delivers high-quality socks, coffee, and soap to your home and donates 100% of its profit to charity. Through good store, we've raised over $7,500,000 to support efforts to radically reduce maternal mortality in Sierra Leone, where as recently as 2019, one in seventeen women could expect to die in pregnancy or childbirth.
(In fact, technically I am here on tumblr as an unpaid intern for the awesome coffee club, which you should really sign up for if you like ethically sourced coffee that tastes delicious and doesn't enrich billionaires.)
I wrote the novel Turtles All the Way Down and then had a little existential crisis and wrote a nonfiction book called The Anthropocene Reviewed, the latter of which is my first book for adults and my first attempt to write as myself.
I helped produce made a movie adaptation (streaming now on Max!) of Turtles all the Way Down.
I helped raise my kids and supported my spouse as she wrote her book You Are An Artist and created a PBS show about art called The Art Assignment.
I ran the educational media company Complexly and the merch company dftba.com while my brother had cancer.
I bought around 2% of a fourth-tier English football team called AFC Wimbledon. Wimbledon are different from most football clubs because they are owned by their fans, each of whom gets one vote in the club's leadership regardless of how much money they put into the club.
I became obsessed with tuberculosis, the world's deadliest infectious disease (it will kill over a million people this year despite being curable), and how TB both exemplifies and reinforces human-built structures of injustice, which is the subject of a book I'm writing that will come out next year.
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