shailion

[shailion]

i can’t believe dreamworks is making a homestuck movie

[shailion]

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

[shailion]

So I posted a pic of my dog yesterday, and real OG's will know that my dog is a freakin' sock-eater/foreign-body-consumer. For those of you who have never owned a dog, foreign-body-eating is not great behavior. Dangerous behavior, in fact. Medically expensive behavior, even. So I worked my ass off to train her out of it, and for the last 2.5 years, we have not had... An Incident.

Until like two weeks ago. For reference, this is my idiot daughter. She has a great many brain-cells and uses them exclusively for crime (poodles have the intelligence of toddlers).

I had a guy over for a date, and my dog has historically always been a jealous bucket of fried chicken. My roommate can't sit beside her boyfriend on the couch without her wanting to snuggle in-between them. If I pet another dog for too long, she whines and scoots her butt right up under my hand. So you can imagine that when I brought a boy over, she was understandably distraught.

"You provide affection for the outsider, but not for me, my liege!? - My dog, probably.

So she made the logical choice to go into my room,

open the drawer of my dresser (which she has never done before),

pull out one of my shirts (which she has never done before!!!),

chew the sleeve off of my shirt, (WHICH SHE HAS NEVER DONE BEFORE),

and then TRY TO SWALLOW THE CUT-OFF-SLEEVE (WHICH SHE HAS NEVER DONE BEFORE????)

Oh, and I should mention that she was able to do all of this in less than 3 minutes. Seeing as she's a notorious criminal, I have what my friends call "mom sense"; I know if this dog is up to bullshit from across the house even if it's perfectly silent (especially if it's perfectly silent). When I tell you I looked at this guy, said, "You know what? Hold on a sec," then proceeded to walk into my room just as the sleeve was sliding down little-miss-dumbass's throat, I was freakin' floored. She was swallowing it like a goddamn python.

She really said "If I have to deal with this shit I'm leaving this mortal coil". Anyway that's how my well-honed sense of "Is My Dog About To Do Something Expensive" saved me $3000-$5000. :)

["But Artsekey, how could your dog chew such a straight line through two layers of fabric in under 2-3 mi--" Her teeth are scissors. Her teeth are scissors. I have listened to her cut a straight-line through "tough chewer" toys. Sounds like scissors.]

[shailion]

The thing that no one tells you about being a inaturalist user who likes bugs is how often your hopes of Cool New Bug is raised and subsequently dashed by dead bits of plants

[shailion]

im CERTAIN this has to be a typo and its supposed to say "JRPGS" but i am going to become addicted to saying "i saw this in a jpeg once" now

[shailion]

So I've been watching a lot of toy review YouTube videos which got me into reading the Wikipedia pages for a lot children's media and toy properties. Shit like Bakugan that I have no actual desire to get into, but I just need to know what is going on in to understand.

Anyway Beyblade is completely deranged. In one episode a plot point is how a character's Beyblade is unreasonably powerful and how throughout history only the strongest have wielded it. Over the course of this flashback, they show this:

Moses used a Beyblade to part the Red Sea

[shailion]

well im fucking the cursed amulet. so mind your business

[shailion]

Biglarge mchuge

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[shailion]

[shailion]

Gull inspecting two fake eggs and deciding to incubate the larger one By: Thomas D. McAvoy From: Life Nature Library: Animal Behavior 1965

[shailion]

"oh you know him"

[shailion]

[shailion]

saw a fucking robber fly today

[shailion]

Okay honestly it didn't hit me how funny the concept of Weird Al's Even Worse album is until I found out they'd have gone on sale side by side.

"Hmmm, do I want Bad, or Even Worse?"

[shailion]

Just realized i can tag random things homestuck spoilers and not only could it confuse people who haven't read it but I'd also probably be right a surprising amount of times