#but that should be the last fucking time for the WHOLE YEAR
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"I'm just a fucking cat, okay, a really old one."
You were asleep. The cat managed to get somehow, you were sure you locked the door and window. You find yourself staring at the dark shape on your chest.
"I'm smarter than I was, but that's what happens when that much magic gets thrown at you."
"But, but, what? Why? How? Why does no one else realise you're in every family portrait for the last two hundred years?!" You really hope this is a vivid dream or you're going mad.
"Your great-however many times it is now-grandad was a wizard. I was your great-whatever-grandma's cat. He wanted them both to live forever but of course he didn't want anyone to realise it so part of the spell was to make people forget how old they were.
They spent years at it, and casting the final spell took all day. I mean the whole day. I was hungry, they hadn't fed me since breakfast. I jumped into the casting circle just as it was activating."
"What happened to them?"
"Oh they faked their deaths and went travelling. They left me behind and put it in their will that I had to be looked after and could never be taken away from the family."
"This is weird dream." You mumble and fall back to sleep.
You wake to find the cat still in the room, curled up at the end of the bed staring at you.
"Finally, do you know how late it is? I should have been fed an hour ago. Get with it."
"You spoke. Oh shit, you really spoke."
The cat had an accent, you suppose it's mouth isn't really built for human words, but its understandable.
"Yes, I spoke, you dumb kitten. You're the first one in this idiot family for generations with enough magic in their veins to understand me and I'm using it to make sure I get fed."
"Okay," You agree as you sit up. "I'll feed you if you teach me about magic."
"Do I look like a wizard? Give me breakfast and I'll show you where your great-whatever many-grandad's study is. That's the best I can do."
"Deal."
Your grandparent passes and your parents inherit the palatial estate as well as the care for its cat. After going through several family records you realize the cat has been inherited throughout the generations. You try telling others but they forget. Now it keeps trying to be alone with you.
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off limits. ls18. smau.
lance stroll x alonso!reader
going to visit your uncle at work suddenly gets a whole lot more exciting when you meet his teammate
faceclaim: blanca padilla
y/nalonso posted a story
written: going somewhere very exciting today
y/nalonso posted a story tagging fernandoalo_oficial
written: that's right i'm meeting with uncle nando ahead of the spainish gp !
fernandoalo_oficial posted a story tagging y/nalonso
written: every home gp i am reminded of how grown up she is
f1updates
liked by user1, user2, user3 and 23,283 others
f1updates: fernando and his niece y/n have arrived at the paddock for media day, y/n alonso is a model and she has been unable to attend the spainish gp ever since fernando re-joined the grid due to scheduling issues. we are so glad to see her back
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user1: omg she is so pretty
user2: fr real she is going to be turning some heads
user3: this makes me feel so old i remember her from when she was 11 with braces in the paddock
user4: they are icons
astonmartinupdates
liked by user5, user6, user7 and 25,284 others
astonmartinupdates: in case you missed it the funniest thing just happened. aston martin were on stage doing a Q and A with fans when lance pointed to this girl in the crowd and said "what about you pretty girl got any questions?" and she gagged him by replying, "not really i tend to just ask uncle nando any questions i have about racing" and lance's face fell
this man managed to pick y/n alonso out in the crowd and then flirt with her in front of her uncle and his TEAMMATE. he is never going to live this one down
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user5: no nando turning to lance and saying "hold on playboy that girl is off limits" had me dying
user6: i mean i can't blame him she is stunning
user7: i just know fernando proper shouted at him after that
user8: did anyone notice how y/n was blushing a little because girl same
y/nalonso posted a story
written: team colours for race day
fernandoalo_oficial replied to this story: the hotel i booked for you said you didn't check in is everything okay?
y/nalonso: yeah don't worry about me uncle nando i got drunk with flavy last night and stayed with her
lancestroll replied to your story: i think i should change careers and become a professional photographer
y/nalonso: is that so
lancestroll: maybe i just got lucky taking a picture of the prettiest girl
y/nalonso posted a story
written: oh how i have missed this
y/nalonso
liked by flavy.barla, lancestroll, fernandoalo_oficial and 583,383 others
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial. lancestroll.
y/nalonso: had the best time back in the paddock for the first time in six years
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flavy.barla: loved seeing you pretty girl
y/nalonso: was a much needed catch up
fernandoalo_oficial: you are going to need to come back soon
y/nalonso: i am planning on it
lancestroll: it was lovely meeting you y/n
y/nalonso: thank you for making sure i didn't get lost in the paddock
user9: the lance tag and comment, get in there lad
lancestroll posted a story
written: first half of the season done, bring on summer break
y/ninsta posted a story
written: date night
fernandoalo_oficial replied to this story: a date, with who
y/nalonso: you don't know him
lancestroll replied to this story: i am so fucking lucky
lancestroll posted a story
y/nalonso posted a story
lancestroll
liked by y/nalonso, fernandoalo_oficial, estebanocon and 1,002,283 others
tagged: y/nalonso
lancestroll: summer break with you is worth remembering
view all 82,192 comments
y/nalonso: i love you so much
lancestroll: i love you too, even if you have a scary uncle
fernandoalo_oficial: if you hurt her, i hurt you
lancestroll: yes sir
user10: i wish i was there when fernando found out about this
user11: this is such a hot couple
user12: i love them so much already
∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘
@bibissparkles
@milkysoop
@hadids-world
@callsignwidow
@barcelonaloverf1life
@queen-of-the-hunt
@piastrams
@kravitzwhore
@a-beaverhausen
@fangirlforever2000
@formulaal
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#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 fandom#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#formula 1#formula one#f1 social media au#lance stroll#lance stroll smau#lance stroll x reader#lance stroll x you#lance stroll x y/n#lance stroll social media au#lance stroll fanfic#lance stroll fluff#aston martin f1#aston martin#aston martin racing
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[3.6k] sometimes home is a place. sometimes it's a person. sometimes it's a bench that holds more memories than mat can fully handle, memories that are slipping through his fingers.
based on 'coney island' by taylor swift for the eras tour hockey fic challenge created by @comphy-and-cozy and @wyattjohnston!!
.
Present – November 2024
Never in his life had Mat Barzal felt as pathetic as he did sitting on that bench in Coney Island.
It was cold as fuck, for one, which should have been expected on a day in late November in New York. The temperature was likely below freezing, the chill was starting to seep into his bones, and the jacket he had haphazardly thrown on was doing little to battle the weather.
Yet, it was barely a blip on his radar as the last few weeks properly washed over him.
Despite the holiday season, there were (thankfully) not many people around to see Mat in all his pathetic and embarrassing glory. Most people were probably sane inside their warm homes, enjoying dinner with the people they cherish the most. It felt stupid to be envious of a city full of people but that is exactly what he was.
Because as Mat sat on that bench, staring out at the near empty beach, he felt like he was choking.
On his feelings. On his memories. On his bitter resentment that, once upon a time, he was like those people.
That Mat used to have a warm home where he ate dinner with someone he fucking loved and cherished more than anyone or anything else in the world, but now he had lost that person.
That he didn’t know where his person was or what they were doing, but they were doing much better than him as he sat on the same fucking bench where he first met them.
Where he first met you.
…
August 2021
“You insist on this every year!”
“Because it’s fun every year!”
“And yet you still get pissy when you get beaten by a carnival game.”
Mat glared at him from over his shoulder, not faltering in his steps as he shot his cackling friend a look. “It doesn’t beat me—”
Beau snorted, giving the boy a fond shove as he pushed his way through the crowd to catch up until they were shoulder-to-shoulder again. “Dude, it’s a stupid game that you try every single time. And you fail every time.”
“It’s rigged,” Mat huffed.
“Yeah, that’s the whole fucking point,” Beau deadpanned. “They are all rigged.”
“But I’ve beaten them all,” Mat whined, sounding young and bratty. “The ring toss is rigged more. It’s made to torture one’s mind—”
“Your mind.”
“—until they are driven insane and haunted by those stupid rings,” he continued to grumble, muttering an apology after he almost walked straight into a lady pushing a stroller.
“All for an arcade ring,” Beau mused, shaking his head. “Dude, you need to let it go.”
Mat turned to glare at the boy. “No. I have won every single one of these stupid games. I am gonna win this one too.”
Beau opened his mouth. “Mat, dude—”
“And I am gonna get that stupid ring and I will wear it every single day of my—”
The noise that left his mouth cut him short, something between a scream and squeak of surprise as he found his body hitting someone else instead of the clear path down the pier like he had assumed. He managed to stay on his feet, considering he was a six foot hockey player whose job revolved around being slammed into by other six foot hockey players.
His victim? Not so much.
“Fuck.”
It came out like a wheezed, as though the person was winded. Mat quickly spun around, the apologies already leaving his lips as he offered his hand out before he even took a look at the person he accidentally knocked over. And when he did, the apologies died on his tongue as he stared at you, his expression stuck between awe and something else that Beau would spend the better part of the next few years teasing him for.
“Do you even watch where you are going?”
“Yeah,” Mat replied dumbly, staring at you like he was lost in a daze.
“Clearly not,” you murmured but still took his hand, giving him an odd look when it took longer than a few seconds before he realised and helped you up.
“I’m Mat,” he blurted out before he even let go of your hand. “And I’m sorry.”
Your lips twitched. “I accept your apology, Mat.”
“And your name?” He asked, not even trying to be subtle about it (if Beau’s snort was anything to go by).
Mat feld winded himself when you smiled as you told him your name.
…
February 2022
“So, let me get this straight.”
“I am tired of repeating myself.”
“You’re taking her out on Valentine’s Day—”
“Not for Valentine’s Day!”
“Yeah, sorry, my bad. You are taking your friend who you are desperately in love with out on Valentine's Day. How silly of me to take that the wrong way.”
Mat rolled his eyes, even if Beau couldn’t currently see him. He tucked his free hand into his jacket pocket, the other one curled around his phone as his eyes continued to wander over the pink and red decorations dotted all over the place. It made his nose scrunch up.
“It was the only day we both had free,” Mat insisted, his cheeks tinting pink for a whole different reason other than the cold, nipping weather of winter in New York.
“No denial about the ‘in love’ part.”
“Shut up,” he gritted through clenched teeth, as if anyone else could hear Beau except him.
“It’s just a little pathetic—”
“I didn’t ask,” Mat deadpanned, trying to ignore how hot his face now felt. “I don’t even know why I called you.”
“Because you needed a pep talk to finally make a move.”
“I’m hanging up now,” Mat grumbled, ignoring whatever protests he received on the other side as he quickly pressed the red button before shoving his phone into his pocket with a huff. He was so lost in muttering to himself under his breath that he hadn’t noticed you approaching.
“Woah,” you laughed, hands up in mock defence at the way he jumped out of his skin. “You good?”
“Yeah, I just—” He waved it off, an easy and genuine smile on his lips as he took in the way you were bundled up, an Islanders scarf around your neck. “Ready to have your ass kicked?”
Your lips twitched. “Ready to cry over the ring toss again?”
He did not, in fact, cry over the ring toss but he was undoubtedly grumpy by the time the two of you settled down on one of the benches looking out towards the beach, huffing as he took an aggressive bite from the pretzel that definitely didn’t fit his diet plan.
“C’mon,” you laughed, nudging your shoulder against his. “It’s just a game.”
“It’s a stupid game,” Mat retorted.
“Beau was right, you take it way too seriously,” you commented, playful and lighthearted with a gleam in your eyes. Like you were so unaware that the comfort you shared with his friends made his chest tighten in the best way possible.
“You have a little—” He cut himself off, gesturing to the side of your lip.
Your brows furrowed, your thumb attempting to swipe the brown sugar away just to miss completely. “Did I get it?”
“No, I—here, let me,” Mat murmured, reaching over to gently swipe the brown sugar away. But his thumb lingered, his eyes locked on your lips before glancing up at you. He waited for you to pull away but you just stared back.
For a moment, Mat wondered if you were going to suddenly pull away and pretend the small moment never happened.
For a moment, Mat’s stomach dropped at the thought this would be as far as he got with you.
And then you were leaning forward, your lips pressed against his and the pretzels long forgotten.
His body reacted faster than his brain did, kissing you back as the sweet taste of cinnamon and sugar overwhelmed him. The pretzel was left on the bench between you, his hands cupping your face as he sunk into the kiss, as he sunk into your embrace.
And only when you pulled back to smile at him did his brain seem to realise what had just happened.
And only then did he grin right back at you.
…
May 2022
“God, hockey is brutal.”
Mat paused, raising his brows. “Just realised that?”
“Sorry, I know you didn’t want to talk about hockey after—” You cut yourself off, wincing a little as you stood in his kitchen, just dressed in one of his shirts (ironically, an Islanders one with the number thirteen above your heart) with a mug of coffee in hand. “Ignore me. Watch the eggs don’t burn.”
Mat snorted. “What has made you realise hockey is so brutal?”
“Just kinda thinking about it,” you shrugged, your gaze on the rim of your mug rather than his face. It made him frown a little. “Like, I know it’s a part of the sport but, fuck, all it takes is one bad hit and—”
“Woah, hey,” Mat’s frown deepened as he reached for you, the stove turned off, the eggs forgotten and his hand reaching to place the coffee mug on the counter. He took your face in his hands, his thumbs smoothing over the apples of your cheeks.
“Sorry,” you laughed, but it sounded a bit wet and weak to his ears. He tilted your head up, his lips pressed together when he noticed how glossy your eyes were. “I guess I just never realised how brutal the sport was until I met you. And you guys play through so many injuries and I know your season is over now but the idea of you pushing yourself even more is just—”
“Come back home with me.”
You blinked. “What?”
“Come back home with me for the summer,” Mat repeated, a soft smile on his lips.
You blinked again, your confusion only growing. “Did you not just hear me—”
“I did,” Mat interrupted, nodding his head with the look of adoration still written plainly across his face. “And all I could think was, ‘wow, how lucky am I to have this amazing girl care about me so much’ and I just…I am lucky. So lucky. And I wanna show other people how lucky I am. I want to show my family how lucky I am.”
Your face softened. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Mat murmured. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you whispered before leaning in, a soft and lingering kiss left on his lips before you pulled back. “And I’m lucky you care about me too.”
“I’m really glad I bumped into you that day in Coney Island,” Mat confessed, something warm and comforting bubbling in his stomach at the sight of your smile.
“Yeah, me too,” you hummed, a glint of mischief in your eyes. “And I love you even if you can’t win the ring toss—”
Mat groaned, his head dropping to the crook of your neck. “Don’t ruin the moment.”
…
March 2023
“You don’t have to hide it from me.”
Mat blinked, his thoughts torn away from him as he turned to find you settling down onto the bench next to him, two pretzels in your hand. He murmured a small ‘thanks’ as he took one of the pretzels from you, staring at the sugary cinnamon sticks with little appetite.
“Hide what?” Mat asked.
“Mat,” you said his name in a way that made his chest tighten, so soft and gentle, like he was some scared animal you were slowly approaching. “Baby, I know you miss him. You don’t have to pretend.”
His eyes dropped back to the pretzel in his hands.
Because it was true. He did miss Beau. He missed Beau more than he cared to admit. And it was stupid because he knew this was how hockey worked, he had friends traded and sent away multiple times before. It was a part of the sport.
But he just didn’t think it would ever hurt this bad, even weeks after the trade had happened. His focus should have been the season and the playoffs approaching. He should have been focused on the team.
But every time he went on the ice, he couldn’t help but feel like a part of him was missing when he lifted his head and didn’t see Beau there, ready to accept his pass.
“There was this small part of me that just thought—” Mat paused, letting out a heavy sigh. “That we would be on the same team forever, you know? That it would always be me and him. That we would win the Cup together and…yeah.”
“I know,” you whispered, soft and soothing as you placed your head on his shoulder and let him lean his head against yours. “You never know. You two will find your way back to each other.”
His lips twitched into a sad smile. “Maybe.”
“You were always meant to find each other in this life,” you told him, sounding so sincere and genuine over the distant cheers and screams and buzzing noise of the amusement park behind you. “Just because you don’t live minutes away anymore, doesn’t mean that ends. He is always gonna be there for you, just like I am.”
Mat pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Thank you.”
“Always, Mat. Always.”
…
July 2023
“Home, sweet home!”
Mat winced a little as his voice echoed through the empty apartment, the walls bare and the place a little dusty. But it was yours and it made it perfect, it made the keys in his hand feel heavier and more special than his last set.
“Fuck, we have so much to unpack,” you commented but you sounded happy. You both did, despite the state of exhaustion the last few days left you, attempting to pack up both of your apartments and moving into your new shared place.
“That is a later problem,” Mat waved you off, reaching towards you so he could wind his arms around your waist and pull you closer. “We have a mattress and takeout menus, what else do we need?”
“Preferably some sheets,” you teased, not even attempting to pull yourself out of his hold. You were content exactly where you were. “I’m, like, ninety percent sure you put them in the wrong box.”
“Blame the pretty one,” Mat huffed, cackling when you playfully pinched his hip. “Kidding, baby, you’re obviously the pretty one in the relationship.”
“We can both be pretty,” you rolled your eyes before laying your head on his chest, smiling when you felt him lean his chin on top. “Can’t wait to make this place ours.”
“It’s gonna be so pretty so it can match us,” Mat murmured, grinning when you laughed in response.
“It looks so plain right now, it’s freaky,” you commented, half-hearted with no real heaviness to your words. It would take a few days for you both to make it feel homely and you were looking forward to it.
But Mat was already untangling himself from your hold, grinning as he began tugging you towards the kitchen. “We can put our first proper decoration up!”
Your brows furrowed together in confusion. “What? But the boxes are—”
You cut yourself off as you watched Mat reach into the pocket of his sweatpants, grinning widely as he pulled out a small magenet and slapped it on the middle of the very bland fridge. He looked at the magnet with great pride before turning to you, his smile only growing.
You let out a laugh at the sight of the Coney Island magnet on the fridge. “Perfect.”
“Our first home,” Mat grinned, pulling you back in so he could smack a kiss on your lips. “The first of many.”
“I’m not moving for at least another few years,” you joked, smiling against his lips. “This whole thing was exhausting.”
“As long as it’s with you, I don’t really care.”
…
January 2024
“I need your help.”
“Oh god, what have you done?”
Mat frowned at his phone for a moment, forgetting about the bundling nerves that had left him on edge for the last week. He was sure you were starting to pick up on it, even if you hadn’t mentioned as much—thankfully. But after a week of waiting, he finally had the perfect opportunity to call his sister whilst you were out of the house.
“I have done nothing. Yet.”
His sister sighed. “Mathew—”
“No full names needed,” he murmured, his cheeks burning as he leaned back against the couch, staring at the ceiling with determination that was quickly dwindling the longer the call went on. “I just…I need your help.”
“With?”
“A ring.”
His frown deepened when Liana laughed. “If this is about that arcade game Beau told me about—”
“What? No,” he sighed, his blush only deepening. “I need help picking a ring. A real ring. An engagement ring.”
His sister was silent for a few moments before she spoke. “Holy shit. You’re really gonna do it?”
Mat couldn’t even bite back his smile. “I want to. This summer, maybe. But I need a ring and I was thinking you could help while we’re up for All Stars and—”
“Sold. Done. I’m not letting you pick an ugly ring for my future sister-in-law.”
“She might still say no,” Mat reminded her, even if his stomach twisted uncomfortably at the thought.
“Of course she won’t,” Liana retorted, sounding so confident that Mat almost wanted to believe her wholeheartedly. “Especially if you let me help pick a ring.”
Mat pressed his lips together. “I really want to find the perfect ring.”
“We will. She is going to love it, Mat. She is going to say yes.”
“Good,” he murmured, grinning. “Because she’s it for me. She’s the only person I wanna give a ring to.”
“You’re such a sap.”
“Shut up.”
…
October 2024
He couldn’t even remember what started the argument.
If he was being honest, the tension had been brewing for a while. It had been a combination of things and none of them had made the atmosphere around the apartment much better. Small, silly things that shouldn’t have been that bad but felt like the end of the world as they were thrown at you both, one after the other.
Mat knew it was bad.
He just didn’t think it was this bad.
It felt like the two of you had been at it for hours, and maybe you had. He couldn’t tell anymore, he didn’t know if it had been minutes or hours the two of you had stood on opposite sides of the living room, yelling and screaming and crying. It all felt too much, like it was getting bigger and bigger, just waiting to pop.
And then it fucking did.
“I-I can’t do this anymore.”
And Mat felt like a deflating balloon, the air escaping his lungs as he found himself staring at you, his mouth unable to voice any of the thoughts he wanted to say.
“Maybe,” you let out a bitter laugh, pained and hurt and weak. “Maybe we just aren’t forever, Mat. Maybe you’re not ready to let anything but hockey be your forever.”
And you were wrong.
Deep down, Mat knew you were wrong and his brain was screaming for him to tell you just how wrong you were. Because the fight had escalated and spun out of control and he should have grabbed the wheel with both hands to stabilise you both.
But he was hurt and he was petty and he felt his mouth saying the exact opposite of how he felt.
“Maybe you’re right.”
The way your whole body deflated and your face fell would haunt his nightmares for nights to come, along with the sound of the apartment door slamming shut as you left and never looked back.
…
Present – November 2024
Once upon a time, the biggest challenge Coney Island provided him was the damn ring toss game. It had been like that for years.
But now, he sat on the bench, the plastic ring between his fingers feeling as heavy as the other ring in his pocket. He didn’t feel victorious, he didn’t feel anything but emptiness. Because neither ring meant anything when he was here alone, when he had failed to give you both.
The ring toss was barely a challenge compared to returning to this damn bench almost every day since he had pulled from the lineup with an injury that just felt like a mockery on top of everything else.
But he did it. He came back every single day because it hurt and he deserved it. He deserved to sit there and think about just what he lost. Because he had no idea where you were, he hadn’t heard a single word from you—not even Beau would tell him if he had heard from you.
Mat had let pride and something else just as stupid get in the way of his forever.
The least he could do was bear the cold, winter weather on that stupid bench until his fingers were too damn numb to hold the stupid arcade ring.
The least he could do was spend the rest of his days wondering if there was a universe where things were different, where he still had you, where he was able to see you one more time.
The least he could do was let his own thoughts about losing you forever haunt him.
The least he could do was hope the universe would give him one more fucking chance to fix everything with you, to at least give you the stupid arcade ring he once promised he would win for you.
The least he could do was apologise for not making you his centrefold like he knew you deserved.
Mat stared down at the phone in his hand, pressing your contact before he could talk himself out of it. He had to try. For you, for him, for the forever he knew you two could have.
He had to try.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
“Hello?”
.
#eras tour fic challenge#mat barzal#nhl#new york islanders#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal x you#mat barzal x y/n#mat barzal fic#mat barzal oneshot#nhl x reader#nhl x you#nhl x y/n#nhl fic#nhl one shot
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t. fushiguro x fem reader x s. kong | 8.3k wc
smut mdni | repost | monsterfucking | knotting
running away is never a good idea, but in this case, it was.
you needed a moment to get away from everything before it drove you crazy.
your job was the one doing most of it with the hours you had to work keeping you busy and more than tired, so tired you didn't realize your heat was upcoming very soon.
it would be one of the worst ones yet since haven’t had it in such a long time and without the suppressant that would get you through it, you were royally fucked, being in heat and being single was hell on earth and you hated it so you kept it at bay but at least your feelings and heart were left intact.
your eyes twitched as you hunched over the desk staring at the computer screen scrolling through the cabins for rent, the place where you could walk around naked and enjoy the peace and quiet by yourself.
people milled about the work area getting ready for their weekend off but you had put in the request a month ago to take a whole week and a half off. your heats could be tracked thank goodness so you knew the time frame and since you haven’t had one in a while you knew this could last a bit and be intense.
after enough mindless scrolling you finally found the perfect place, nestled deep in the lush mountainside next to a running river, the description said the sun set and rose through the stained bay window that cast an array of colors over the hardwood floor and had a clawfoot tub with a beautiful view.
it was a one-bedroom that faced the mountainside with a balcony to enjoy the view and nature next to a dead forest this time of the year, with no neighbors to hear you get off like a nymphomanic.
the thin walls of your studio apartment didn’t muffle a thing.
“what are you doing?” your friend and coworker ami asked when she came over to your station leaning against the counter, thrumming her fingers on the marble top.
you let your eyes drift over to her then back to the computer looking at the pictures, the click sound was something that you were able to drown out since it was something you listened to daily. “getting away.” you replied flatly.
ami understood all too well as an omega and had enough heats to know what it was like, especially when you have suppressed it for a while, the feeling of when it came on was like nothing else and you needed to be alone for it.
she leaned forward taking the mouse from your hand to click on another tab with different cabins. “i rented this one for two weeks, it was so nice but the people are close and like to visit.” you looked at it and shook your head.
your lips drew into a pout as you took the mouse back from her and went back to the one you wanted and filled out the form quickly hoping you could get the slot.
“i don't want to be near anyone, there are woods close by for me to enjoy and the closest neighbor is two miles or more away, which is perfect.” you hummed clicking submit making sure that it went through before exiting the homepage.
ami stood straight and patted the top of your hand. “you should find someone to help you through the heat, it’s going to be awful since you’ve been suppressing it for so long.” she sing-songed further irritating you.
you wanted to snap at her, instead, you sighed and leaned back in your chair. “not interested, i don’t need anyone to help me through this plus being mated with someone sounds like hell.”
it was a scenario that you’ve seen too many times.
before ami could say anything her phone began to ring on her desk pulling her away from yours to hurry up and answer it. your eyes shifted to the clock again, ten minutes and counting down until you were free for two weeks.
even though it’s been less than five minutes you opened up your email in hopes of seeing whether or not you got the cabin, every three seconds you hit the refresh button hoping it would be there but nothing but more spam.
with a sigh, you logged out and started cleaning up your desk stuffing everything in your bag not caring before shutting the computer off. “i’ll see you later!” you called out to your co-workers and made a beeline for the door shouldering it open to hurry up and make it to the parking lot before it rained.
before work in the mornings, you’d watch the weather channel to keep up with it because more times than not it was always changing. as soon as you got inside the clouds opened dumping rain in heavy sheets coating your car.
by the time you made it home, the sun had begun dipping below the horizon turning the sky into a burnt orange with streaks of red and yellows that would make a beautiful picture but you had no time for that, with your bag in hand you scurried to your front door thankful for the awning that kept you dry.
once inside you dropped everything with a soft thud and kicked your shoes off hoping soon that you’d get an email about the cabin, however, seeing that it was almost six p.m. and it was a friday no one would be there to answer the emails but you were excited and ready for a change of scenery.
standing in front of your wall calendar dressed in nothing but panties while eating ice cream from the small carton you were able to figure out the last heat you experienced was seven months ago and this one was going to be rough, all the built-up hormones were suppressed waiting to be spilled.
they started to ooze from the cracks and chips leaving you on edge which only irritated you further because you didn’t even want to feel how hot you burned up or how long it’s been since you’ve been laid, almost two years.
but it wasn’t like you were counting or anything.
with a heavy sigh, you rested your head on the wall and shuffled toward the living room looking down at the faded slippers you wore, the ones that have seen all of your teenage years, now you were pushing almost thirty and still single.
plopping down on the equally ratty couch that you picked up free from the internet once you were sure it wasn’t bug-infested, the owners at the time just wanted to get rid of it, trash turned into treasure.
your eyes tried to stay glued on the tv but it was a fight you could no longer win and ended up falling asleep with your head leaning back and mouth open.
hours later you jerked awake from the slam of the door that rattled the walls.
“fuck.” you groaned when you saw the ice cream you had in your hand had melted and dripped down on the floor making a creamy mess, the vanilla looked like cum almost, and perhaps that was just because you wanted a load shot deep inside you, it made your blood run hot but you pushed that back to stand up and gathered your bearings before cleaning the mess up.
your phone vibrated on the corner of the coffee table alerting you to an email, forgetting the rag and melted ice cream in front of you, you snatched it up and unlocked the screen to read your email for the cabin, the one you wanted was now yours for the entire week, all you had to do was get through was two days.
the smile that made your cheeks ache couldn’t be wiped from your face no matter what, the place you picked was perfect, and the woods were somewhere you could gather food and you could bathe in the river, connecting with nature would help a lot to get through this heat.
after the mess was cleaned up there was a pep in your step as you started to pack your bags before heading out to your car stepping in a puddle which usually upsets you, but even that couldn’t bring your day down.
going back inside you changed your socks and shoes then you made it to your car and pulled out of the parking lot.
even though it was just two weeks you couldn’t wait to get out of the apartment building you lived in, the too-thin walls sure didn’t help when your neighbor's headboard banged in a creaky rhythm or the couple upstairs who yelled daily.
you twitched in excitement as you pulled up to the sex shop, you needed a few toys to help get off and you had saved up enough money for a sex doll, well it was only just the abs and the removable cock to fit whatever fit your desire.
walking inside you looked around and then made a beeline for the other side, the back wall was lined with an array of styles, sizes, and colors.
you scanned the plastic boxes wondering what attachment to change out for something new when your eyes landed on a werewolf cock, complete with the tapered end and a knot that was already inflated. you grabbed it along with a few more toys then paid for it and left the store counting down until you left.
with everything put in your trunk, you headed to the store next and bought all your favorite things to eat and drink, along with a few books from the bookstore down the street and some cheap wine to help sweeten the deal.
it was two weeks of self-care that you’ve been neglecting over the last few months and it was building until it was close to exploding and before you let that happen the cabin was your getaway from your problems that have piling up and you’ve been pushing aside until now.
excitement filled your veins as you drove back to your apartment.
once inside with all the bags you packed everything and looked at the clock counting down the milliseconds when you could leave and since you still had a day and a half you caught up on some work, sending emails and making phone calls to regular customers who even caught on to your rare good mood.
“am i that grumpy?” you muttered when you hung up the phone and leaned back in your home office chair, the damn thing was creaky and soon you’d need a new one but with your current pay that would have to wait.
another glance at the clock and it was nearing dinner time.
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monday morning before the sun had a chance to come to the horizon you were already in your car, fingers twitching as you pulled out of the parking lot ready to leave behind your life for two weeks, and thankfully the ride wasn’t long.
with your windows down the cool autumn breeze filled the car as you passed by knotty trees with bare branches with thick wet leaves of different colors at the base of the trunk, when daybreak happened it filled the sky with a beautiful orange mixed in with purples and reds that was picture worthy.
which is usually what you would do, but the only thing on your mind was getting to the cabin and settled in before your heat hit which was supposed to be on tuesday and last until saturday or even longer, but you had worked enough overtime to cover a few more days if needed be.
you had everything set in stone, this trip was important to you for many reasons. a way to get back into tune with yourself, plus this way no one would bother you or call the landlord when you bounced yourself stupid on a fake cock to quell the burning need for an orgasm.
the radio played the local station at a low volume as the gps voiced the way to get to where you wanted to be the most, only five miles away from your destination your foot pressed on the gas pedal before turning right.
your tires crunched under gravel as you drove slowly now to take in the scenery, it was breathtaking and it looked like something someone painted where it hung up for millions to see and oh and awe at it, pulling over you stopped and got out of your car to take a few pictures of the place.
it didn’t take very long for you to pull up in the driveway, your jaw going slack at the beauty of the log cabin, the pictures did not do it justice, the backdrop for it was lush mountains with a few waterfalls splitting them apart that ended in a stream following the path toward the huge lake no doubt for fishing.
climbing out of your car you left the bags in the trunk and walked around the place taking note of the firepit and the grill with a few chairs that looked comfortable, your feet crunched over the rocks as you peered into the thick of the woods on the edge of the property when the door opened scaring you.
“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you. you ok?” a tired voice asked before revealing themselves, a woman who appeared to be in her seventies came out with a kettle hanging from her thin fingers as she eyed you.
despite your heart beating louder than a bag of cans rattling around you nodded. “yes, i didn’t think anyone was going to be here…there’s not another vehicle around.” you answered confused about who she was and why she was here, when you got here you thought the owner would be gone.
you sent the payment directly from your bank account so you didn’t have to worry about this, you didn’t want to deal with anyone.
the woman waved you in and shut the door once you were inside taking in the beautiful interior, almost everything was soaked in a deep red and muted browns, tan leather couches were in front of a large tv and the kitchen was small but it held everything you needed and the hallway only had two doors.
it was an open floor plan with a large kitchen with modern time appliances.
you followed her further to the kitchen where she sat the kettle back on the stovetop. “my name is may, i’m the owner. i like to greet people and tell them a few rules, or i suppose it’s to keep you safe.” she explained and poured a cup.
“it’s nice to meet you. rules?” you asked wondering why it couldn’t be put in the email.
“i’m glad you made it soundly and yes, rules. you don’t want to go out into the woods after ten p.m. the werewolves come over the mountains and a lot of them aren’t very friendly, they’d eat you up.”
her voice rattled at the end as may turned to you with a chipped teacup. “thank you for the information, i didn’t plan on going in there unless it was daylight anyway, thank you for accepting my application. it’s very pretty.”
may smiled taking the compliment. “you’re welcome, this property has been in my family for generations but i can’t live out here, my son will be picking me up,” as if on cue there was a car horn outside, “take care, honey, see you.”
you followed her to the front door and hurried to check the kitchen windows making sure she got inside and watched as the truck kicked up dust leaving you alone finally for the first time in a very long time.
after checking for cameras because you could never be sure you went outside in the cool october air inhaling the scent of nature, pine trees, and the dirt which never smelled so good. with your bags in your hands, you brought them inside before settling on the couch with the tea.
the tv didn’t have much to offer so you shut it off and headed outside to the balcony that overlooked the lake with the sun glinting off the surface it was serene, this was what you needed. it was beautiful and for a moment you thought about moving out there, then thoughts of when you had to leave made you frown but that was two weeks away.
turning back you headed inside and decided to check out the rooms, the bedroom was first. the walls were painted in that same deep red, with a four-poster bed and a mattress that looked like pure heaven, and a heavy oak dresser with a mirror shaped into a cloud on the other side.
unpacking everything you double-checked to make sure there were no cameras before moving to the bathroom, it was small but still doable. the shower was a combination, and the sink was big enough to hold your stuff.
ten minutes later you lay on the couch stretching your legs and looking up at the ceiling letting your eyes close shut eventually falling asleep until evening, when the crickets woke you up and for a moment you forgot where you were, in a panic you looked around and sighed plopping back down.
after another five minutes, you finally got up to look out the windows only to be met with pitch dark until the outside lights were switched on flooding the front and back lighting the area up. you looked at the clock, it was only seven.
may said don’t go in the woods after ten, there were still three hours to look.
grabbing a jacket you pulled it on, shoving your arms through the sleeves before making your way outside, the crickets chirped louder creating a beautiful symphony of nature as the moon shone down casting a soft glow over the woods barely lighting up the mouth which made you nervous.
broken-off branches from the storm that came through the other night snagged on your pant legs and crumbled beneath your feet as you wrapped your arms around yourself coming closer, a sudden painful howl that ripped through the night air that caused you to stop midstep and listen to it.
it was a mournful cry tinged with a pain you never felt but you could tell it was a cry for something, may’s words of werewolves living close by rattled your brain, enough to make you turn around and head back inside making sure all the windows and doors were locked before turning the outside lights off.
after sleeping you opted to make a quick dinner knowing that you’d be awake for a while, once everything was cleaned up you settled in the hot water in the tub watching the steam rise from the milky water, your body wash swirled in with it creating bubbles that lapped at your tingly flesh from the heat.
seeping in the silence you felt your muscles relax, letting go of the tension you’ve been holding onto for longer than you should. stretching your legs out you used the new and very expensive body scrub that promised it would leave your skin feeling soft and supple, something you needed.
a lot of your time was going to be spent in bed masturbating until your arm or fingers fell off from overuse and your legs would be spent humping the toy like a brainless horn dog until it was somewhat out of your system.
you watched the water drain before rinsing yourself off and getting out of the tub with a towel wrapped around you, you stuffed your feet back into your trusty slippers and trudged through the house to grab some wine and settle back on the couch turning the tv on to let it play as background music.
drowsiness set in again and you curled up in the corner pulling the heavy quilt over you and sat your wine glass down before eventually falling asleep again with the tv on casting a glow over the living room until morning.
sunlight spilled in from the french doors and the stained glass of the bay window bathing the place in an array of beautiful colors that you stared at when you woke up still lounging on the couch enjoying the sounds of nature.
pulling yourself off the couch you folded the quilt up putting it where you found it before shuffling into the kitchen to make breakfast quickly and enjoy the bowl of fruit out on the backdoor balcony watching the sun glitter off the water.
you wondered if it was safe enough to swim in.
with the bowl cleaned and put away, you stripped naked right in the kitchen and walked out to the balcony letting the sun warm your bare skin feeling the cool breeze harden your nipples, tightening them into hard pebbles.
after a few moments, you headed back inside and got dressed before pulling a book off the bookshelf you brought from home and making something to drink before heading back outside on the balcony sitting down when you heard them. two male voices talking in hushed whispers not far away.
your ears twitched as you stood up leaning against the railing watching them as they stayed at the mouth of the forest. they were both tall, one with black shaggy hair and broad shoulders, the other had dark short, and fluffy hair with the same stature as the other but he wasn’t as big as the other man.
he was the same height although. you watched them with curiosity sniffing the air picking up their scent. werewolves. slowly you stepped back not wanting to catch their attention and retreated inside with a sigh.
may wasn’t lying.
you weren’t sure what they were doing until there was a knock several minutes later as you sat on the couch. putting your book down on the side table you headed over to the door looking out the small curtain and seeing the werewolves standing there, looking dead at you.
“we know you’re in there.” one spoke, his voice deep and smooth like velvet.
keeping the chain on you opened the door so they couldn’t step inside. toji’s eyes widened for a brief second seeing you standing there looking confused as your eyes shifted between them both, intrigued by their presence.
he wasn’t expecting any omegas to come this far, especially one like you then his nose picked up your scent. shiu glanced at him and then at you. “we didn’t think may still rented the cabin, sorry for disturbing you,” shiu said.
“do you need anything?” you asked curiously wondering why they would be here for may anyway, but it was no mistake what they were, the smell undeniable, potent and heavy and musky fur.
they shared a glance then looked back at you. “no, thank you. have a good day.” shiu told you with a warm smile walking away first as toji lingered for a moment looking at you before following after his friend down the driveway.
you shut the door and watched them from the window with the curtain lifted to see toji looking back at you with a smile that felt dangerous, his teeth sharp when he pulled his teeth back to show off, his scar splitting in half.
ignoring the interaction you looked at the clock, it was only late afternoon, and after making sure they weren’t in sight, you stepped out onto the balcony with a glass of wine and your book settling in the padded chaise lounge.
everything felt almost like a dream as you read with one leg propped up letting the sun wash over like bath water when you jostled, rippling it.
four chapters in and you could hear their voices again, murmuring back and forth about something catching your attention. after marking your page you set the book down and stood up to walk over to the railing looking down.
“you’re ruining my reading time.” you called down resting your arms to lean over more meeting both their gazes, their lips tugged back in a smirk.
toji chuckled and slid his hands into his pockets, his thumbs sticking out. “well, we wanted to come and ask if we could have dinner with you.”
your jaw dropped looking at him with a stunned expression blinking fast as you shut your mouth so hard your teeth rattled. “uh, i don’t think so. i don’t even know you, also i’ve heard of the big bad wolf but just add another one.”
“my name is toji,” he pressed his hand to his chest then jerked his thumb to his friend, “this is shiu.” you looked at him like that was supposed to magically make you all friends.
they shared a glance and then turned their attention to you. “we could huff and puff and blow your house down or you could tell us your name.” toji teased with a chuckle that made your blood simmer, his gaze was predatory making you nervous.
shiu shook his head. “we’re not going to do anything like that, don’t worry.”
“i sure hope not, it’s not like you could anyway.” you murmured and gave them your name while thrumming your fingers against the railing debating on letting them inside, there was no telling what could happen if you got close.
but it would be rude not to feed them.
they watched you walk inside and then out the front door, around the corner to wave them in. “dinner then it’s my bedtime.” you called out and headed back inside heading to the kitchen to pull out a meal you brought from home.
it was easy to heat up and you didn’t need to cook while here, you could focus on yourself when the time came. toji and shiu followed like it was the millionth time they’d been inside, immediately taking a seat at the table.
“make yourself at home.” you murmured and put the food in the oven before joining them at the table sitting across from them.
shiu was curious as to what brought you here and so was toji who asked first unable to help himself. “what’s a pretty little thing doing all the way out here?” he asked leaning back as he held your gaze with a waiting smile.
you supposed that him calling you pretty would flatter you somehow. “i’m on vacation.” it was the truth, but they didn’t need to know the other reason.
“or are you running away from something? someone?” shiu prompted.
this time heat flooded your face as the timer dinged saving your ass. you got up to quickly dish out the plates before taking your seat again to eat.
for a good while there was a silence that stretched between the three of you as the meal came to an end you collected the dishes and washed them. “thanks for the food,” shiu murmured as he attempted to help you.
you let him help for a moment enjoying the quiet moment and charged air, something was lingering like a string daring you to play with it and see what happens when you tug on it, pulling open a whole new world for you three.
once they were gone you finished cleaning up and opted for a warm bath before curling up in bed. the water felt good as you planned your day for tomorrow deciding to go down to the edge of the water with some wine.
with your chair and a book you could easily spend all day down there, the thought of seeing toji and shiu again made your tummy prickle with heat and something else that ached between your legs like a soft pulse of want.
shaking the thought from your head you washed up and got out to get dried off and dressed, sleep eluded you for the moment so you ended up on the couch again snuggled up under the quilt as you settled on a horror movie.
it was nearing halloween and you always enjoyed the thrill of a good flick.
you sunk into the couch as the movie played out putting you on edge which is what you wanted at first, regret trickled in knowing it was too late to turn it off now and go to bed, there was no way you could go to sleep now.
changing the channel you settled on some reruns of a reality tv show until your eyes fluttered shut and you fell asleep on the couch again until the morning sun woke you up.
sitting up you looked around and rubbed your eyes before getting up to get ready for the day, breakfast, shower, and a change of clothes later you ended up at the edge of the lake with your chair, blanket, book, and a glass of wine.
it was a perfect way to relax which lasted for a few hours until shiu and toji emerged again from the mouth of the trees seeing you lounging there.
you saw them and raised an eyebrow. “i’m not offering you dinner again.”
toji chuckled and came closer, stopping a few feet away. “what if we offered you dinner?” he asked with a smile that made your blood thicken and bubble.
going to their place when you didn’t know the woods wasn’t a good idea, you liked having the upper hand. “i appreciate the offer, but i don’t think i should go into your den.” you hummed and marked your spot with your bookmark.
last night wasn’t too bad and they weren’t awful company you thought.
“i did bring a lot of food so if you don’t mind helping me.” you murmured and stood up letting shiu grab your chair as they followed you back to the cabin.
twenty minutes later the three of you were settled at the table again laughing about exchanged stories, weaving together past and present. toji was a heavy flirt while shiu was subtle about his, both of them making your head feel hazy and warm.
their smells have been affecting you from your heightened sense of smell, your pulse was racing catching their attention. liquid desire started to simmer in your veins like honey, viscous and sweet producing a potent smell for them.
the beginning of their rut kickstarted your heat.
toji’s eyes darkened as he inhaled the scent, rich and heady.
“you both need to leave right now.” you told them pointing to the door, the sudden change had you snippy. shiu had to push his friend out letting you slam the door behind them quickly in such a rush forgetting to lock it.
your heat started sending a signal to your brain as slick pooled in your panties that felt drenched as you moved to the bedroom pulling open the box you stuffed with the sex toys feeling a soft throbbing in your womb.
sleeping with two strangers isn’t what you had planned, especially werewolves when you haven’t mated before and you know what would happen if you let them stay even a second later you’d belong to them.
everything happened so fast as you grasped the first toy, a vibrator. ripping the package open you hurried to the bathroom and cleaned it quickly before crossing the hall into the bedroom to shuck your shorts and panties.
sitting on the bed you leaned back and spread your legs feeling a deep ache as your pussy fluttered in response to the toy that rubbed against your clit, the ache grew like a vine, your body jolting when you turned it on, the feeling pulling a deep moan from you as you humped the vibrator with little care.
every wave of pleasure brought erotic images of toji and shiu, taking them both at the same time and then letting one watch while the other jerked off before taking their turn. you wanted them to take turns with you like a toy.
with a cry, you curled your toes feeling an intense heat bloom between your legs melting into your veins and pooling in your cheeks as you tilted your head back squeezing your eyes shut thinking of all the possibilities with them.
the wet sound of you pleasuring yourself was loud and lewd as your slick pooled between your asscheeks no doubt dripping to the floor, every time you entered a heat especially one like this your arousal always left a huge mess, and oh how bad you wanted toji and shiu to clean you with their tongues.
your brain was becoming mush rather quickly with each stroke of your wrist, the vibrator wasn’t doing its job which only frustrated you more than anything.
with a soft growl, you pulled the toy out sighing, and let it drop to the floor before moving to grab the boyfriend replacer feeling your fingers slide against the material as you tossed it on the bed to straddle the fake thighs while you held the craved abs down flexing your fingers into the soft silicone.
your head was hazy, filled with lust and the need to cum however you could.
rubbing against the bulbous head you caught it on the soft opening of your wet cunt pushing it in easily with a soft mewl as you sat down on it with a wet squelch, your eyes rolled to the back of your head.
for a moment you wondered if they had strayed far but little did you know that they were at your door, huffing and puffing smelling your slick and heat. shiu fought against everything inside him to kick the door down, but he knew that you hadn’t been claimed and that made his blood run hot with desire.
toji decided to knock earning a look from shiu who raised his eyebrow.
you stopped despite your brain telling you not to when you heard the interruption. it happened again and you knew who it was. “come in!”
maybe that was a mistake but you had hoped that they could alleviate you of this, your brain could only come up with a weak whimper when you heard the door open followed by heavy footsteps and sniffing then they were in the room, the scent of testosterone wafted around them strongly.
toji was the first one to touch you, his open palm felt hot as he caressed your back then your ass, gripping and groping the flesh. “what was that about us leaving?” he teased with a grin while shiu stepped next to you taking hold of your chin to turn your head to face toji who leaned in with a dark grin.
you moaned as you ground against the toy staring at toji with a fucked out- look, your eyes glassy with bliss. leaning in you kissed him, your tongue parting the seam of his lips licking into his mouth tasting him whole.
here you were making out with a stranger. well, the more you think about it you did know a little bit about them, but enough to fuck and take their knots?
he growled into the kiss and kneeled on the bed to wrap his arm around your waist halting your movements so shiu could reach under you to remove the toy slowly hearing you gasp and cry out from the loss of it. “shh, we got you.”
your head was hazy from their combined touches and kisses, all rational thought leaked from your ears as you allowed them to lay you on your back, shiu followed you down lying between your legs and inhaling your scent.
“wait! i haven’t shaved!” you protested with a soft squeal and kept your thighs squeezed shut, albeit it’s been a long time since you’ve been with someone you always remembered them liking you being soft and shaved.
shiu looked up at you from his spot cocking an eyebrow while sharing a glance with toji. “and do you think that’s going to bother us?” he husked drawing his thumb around your clit watching it throb and swell more in size.
he leaned in pressing kisses against your hairy slick pussy, his thumbs glided against your lips as he spread you open to swirl his tongue around your swollen clit eliciting a moan from you while toji watched from the side.
“toji..” you glanced at him reaching your hands up to grab him and pull him down, your fingers running through his hair tugging on it as you brought him closer, clinging to him for dear life as shiu slowly thrusted two fingers in you.
you gasped into toji’s mouth rocking your hips against shiu’s mouth as you reached down to slide your hand into his pants, brushing your hand against his cock that was already lubed with a thick copious amount of pre-cum.
toji was thick, the knot was huge even when it wasn’t inflated and you couldn’t wait to feel it. you glided your fingers up to the tapered end, rubbing your thumb over the slit before tugging his pants and boxers down revealing his throbbing cock, the girth was incredible and it was beautiful.
a deep purple with a few veins on the sides and one prominent one that pulsed and led down to a heavy and tight sack that you cupped gently.
the room was filled with pants and soft growls as you pulled away from toji to focus on shiu now, your hands buried in his hair as you rode his face letting toji suckle on your nipples only adding to the pleasure simmering in your veins.
you felt warm and tingly all over as shiu stroked his tongue up and down between the lips of your cunt as his fingers brushed against your sensitive spot making you howl and arch your back off the bed while toji kept his mouth busy on your breasts bringing forth a wave of intense pleasure.
your first orgasm was almost violent, stealing the air from your lungs.
after denying yourself heat after heat it built up and you were soaking the bed and shiu’s face who lapped up the mess with a satisfied growl sliding his free hand under your ass to hold you close as he devoured you whole moaning.
it was wet and so loud causing you to cover your face as you squealed and pushed him away. “give me a second!” you cried in between ragged pants.
toji chuckled and palmed your tit as he jerked himself over your chest. “such a good girl for us. we want to make you our little omega.” he whispered darkly watching you come down from your high with a smug grin.
agreeing to that idea wasn’t smart but you found yourself nodding anyway.
“please!” you begged tilting your head back for them while gripping the bedsheets in excitement at the prospect of it all, you didn’t think about the future, just now and how good they were going to make you feel.
so much was going on and you couldn’t keep it all together as you weathered the storm of bliss they put you in the middle of, thick fingers danced their way across your skin pulling and groping to bring forth more of your sweet sighs.
shiu moved to kneel between your legs spreading them wider to reveal your glistening cunt causing his cock to twitch. he was the first one to get naked, revealing a hairy body with a full bush of soft pubic hair. “see?” he murmured and jerked himself off with no shame as you watched with a cute little pout.
toji was next, both men were full of hair, curly and thick. instantly you sat up and buried your face in shiu’s chest then toji’s brushing your cheeks against them. “i don’t care who fucks me first just please do something before i die.”
your voice was high-pitched and whiny but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care much when all you wanted was to feel their knots and cum a few more times. toji chuckled and slid his arm under your knees to push them back further.
he pinned you down to let shiu rut his dick against the lips of your pussy, his tip gliding against your clit making you sigh and growl as you gripped toji’s hand feeling tears sting your eyes before coming down in fat salty drops.
“oh, poor baby. she’s crying.” toji chuckled watching your eyes widen and jaw go slack when shiu pushed the tapered head inside the first ring of muscle as his hands moved to the back of your thighs gripping the flesh.
you could see him gritting his teeth, grinding the pearly nubs together feeling the way your cunt swallowed him, wet and oh so fucking warm. the velveteen ridges of his cock felt incredible throbbing deep inside the drenched clutch of your pussy that looked so pretty wrapped around him.
his head hung low to watch himself slide in and out slowly gathering your cream until it formed a ring that dripped down shiu’s knot that grew with each frantic thrust of his hips, he fucked you wildly as toji held you in place for him.
the bed creaked as shiu dropped more of his weight down pressing into you more. “fuck!” you cried out when he slipped his knot inside, each pulse of your cunt sent him into a tizzy as he fucked you slow and with short and deep thrusts that left you gasping and clinging to him for dear life while sobbing.
shiu knew how to have you gripping his bicep looking at him with wet eyes before his cock was spurting thick ropes of cum that matted between your pubic hair making a white mess in both of your hair.
pulling back a little they helped you straighten your legs before wrapping them around shiu kissing him as you and he came down from your highs enjoying the afterglow of such an intimate moment before you looked at toji.
“was wondering when it was going to be my turn sweetheart.” he murmured and twisted his body to grab your bullet vibrator with a wicked grin as he pet your hair kissing your forehead as shiu held you close to him, his knot now deflated enough to pull out making you whine with the loss of him.
toji took his spot and turned the toy on. “sure you can even handle me?” he teased looking down at your gaping cunt that was covered in shiu’s essence.
you narrowed your eyes at him and nodded pushing out another thick glob and sat up to grab his hips pulling him forward with a burst of strength before plopping on your back again. “stop teasing me…i need you so bad, toj!”
that’s all it took for him to press the end of the vibrator against your clit making you gasp and jerk as he rubbed the tapered tip of his cock against the cum collection wanting to add his own. it was easy for him to glide in you.
his hand found yours, linking your fingers with his as he leaned down to kiss you forgetting shiu who was kneeling next to you both, his eyes trained on you intently. it should be shameful to let this be happening but you didn’t care.
not when it felt this good.
you grasped his shoulders feeling hot white pleasure sizzle before blowing up like fireworks with each stroke, with the way he was filling you your head was so hazy, all you could do was babble about how good he felt inside you as you clawed at his shoulders desperately trying to stay tethered to the bed.
there was now an even bigger and wetter mess between your legs, a thick frothy mixture of cum webbed between toji’s hairy thighs and the back of your legs that were warm and sticky from sweat as you rocked against him.
his teeth nipped your bottom lip as he kissed you deeply, inhaling you like you were the air he needed to breathe, one big hand squished your cheeks together as he teased you with the vibrator making you cry out for him.
toji wanted to feel you coming around him, he needed you again and again.
before you could warm him your cunt spasmed around him drawing the tip of his cock deeper, nestling it right against your cervix. your eyes locked and you swore that your hearts beat in tandem as he thrust in and then came, filling you with a thick and hot load that seeped from the knot that plugged his cum.
you clung to him panting and sobbing from the sheer ecstasy that washed over you as your vision cleared to see shiu smirking. “you two forgot about me, how are you feeling doll?” he asked bending down to pat your forehead with a cool rag making you sigh and moan from it as you kissed him gently.
“hard to forget you.” you murmured against his mouth with a drunken giggle as you slid your hand up to the back of his neck to keep him there for a moment as you peppered his face in kisses and laughs as toji held you.
the three of you stayed like that for a while until you were able to move on your own to get in the shower where they washed you in tandem. toji took to the top half as shiu took the bottom making sure to rinse the cum splatter off.
they washed you with great care kissing you. “how does this work?” you asked squeezed in between their firm and hairy pecs grasping at the curly roots with a grin.
toji held your hips as he kissed the top of your head while shiu brushed the sides of your breasts with his fingers. “hope your place is big enough for the three of us,” toji murmured with a chuckle making you warm at the thought.
no way that would happen. you’d need a bigger place.
“i live in a studio apartment, it’s just one room with a small restroom. we’d be cramped.” you murmured and turned around to face toji holding his arms.
he moved his hands to your waist pulling you closer to him. “on top of each other all the time.” his voice dropped down to a husky whisper as the warm water cascaded over you, with with wet lashes you met his heated gaze.
“something like that.” you murmured feeling shiu grope your ass now. their ruts were kicking in again and there was no denying the connection anymore.
64.media.tumblr.com
three days in and you were sure there wasn’t a single inch inside and outside of the cabin you didn’t get fucked on.
it was hard to pick your favorite.
when you rode toji outside on the lounge late in the evening with the sounds of the waterfall in the background along with the wildlife and that night he was in his full werewolf form, his fur was soft and a good tether as you fucked him.
you felt so full with him in this form and connected in a way you never felt with anyone else. in between all the fucking you three talked a lot and spent time together cooking and sleeping in the same bed.
he nosed at your neck holding you close with thick arms, his claws close to digging in when you clenched your cunt tightly around him. “you feel so good, want you to cum in me please please toji i need it.” you begged softly crying.
toji licked your tears as he pushed you all the way down on his knot that swelled once it was nestled deep inside, snug and tight keeping you plugged with his cum that he fucked deeper as he ground against you quickly.
you clung to him and let him knot you again unable to count the many times he has claimed you, in his human form and this one. when he was like this, toji was hulking and beyond huge, able to bend you this way and that way.
so was shiu.
that’s how he had you the next morning with your face buried in the couch cushions as he mounted you in his werewolf form panting loud and wet in your ear fucking into you like a rabid animal chasing his high ramming into you with short choppy thrusts that took away your breath with each rut.
he loved to hear you squeal so while he pulled out he enjoyed using the nipple clamps you brought. shiu tugged on the metal chain feeling your cunt squeeze as you squirmed and gasped pushing back against him with a grunt.
they both had to have their noses buried between your legs, even at dinner one of them was under the table lapping at your pussy while the other attempted to hand-feed you, their fingers grazing your tongue making it hard to focus on anything else. “you’ve been so good for us, you’re ours now.”
one time they were both able to slip inside your cunt stretching and filling you to the brim. “you’re taking us so well, and big stretch coming. you got this.” shiu murmured in your ear as kissed you shushing your cries and pants.
it was an addicting feeling to have them both fucking you, and after training your ass with the toys you brought shiu fucked you from behind as toji thrust in and out of your cunt lazily feeling himself rub against shiu.
by day six your cunt was sticky no matter how many showers you took, it was gaping with cum, dripping from the parted seam of your cunt. shiu and toji took turns cleaning you with their tongues until you nested against them.
at the end of the trip, they had brought their belongings stuffing them into your car along with your bag, and went home with you unable to break the connection that they created in the matter of a single night that led to this.
feedback such as comments and reblogs are highly appreciated, those kind words mean a lot and encourage me to do more writing this thing is my baby! i took my time reading and rereading it to make it extra good jkfrt ♡
#honeywrites#tw monsterfucking#tw knotting#toji fushigro x reader#toji fushiguro#toji smut#fushiguro toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#toji x you#toji fushiguro smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#shiu kong#shiu smut#shiu kong x reader#shiu kong x you#shiu kong x reader smut
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PAC: What should I focus on right now for long-lasting good vibes ?
When I leave Juice WRLD, I'm back to pink hair !
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PILE 1
Sweetheart, here’s what your heart needs to hear:
This moment is about embracing the magic of you. You’re a radiant Queen, with warmth in your soul and power in your every move. Taking this time for yourself isn’t stepping away from love—it’s leaning deeper into the one you have with your own spirit.
You’ve found something beautiful, something healthy and whole, but it’s okay to let it breathe. You’re not losing anything; you’re creating space to grow into the love that feels so new. Focus on nurturing your passions, tending to your dreams, and grounding yourself in your own brilliance.
The love will wait—it’s strong enough to do that. And in the meantime, remember: you are more than worthy of all the goodness coming your way.
What should I focus on right now for long-lasting growth?
Y’all took a fat L in your finance. It could be that maybe you were born in a poor family or maybe you maxed out your credit card at a super young age. Another scenario is comin through, some of y’all were financial abuse by your own parents. You were here paying one of our family members' medical bills while paying for your school. The situation of your family was a wake up call for you because you never knew they were in so much debt (And they fucking expected you to saved them… let me move on … I said I was going to be more gentle). Any ways most people would have scramble under so much pressure but you were determined to rise the fuck up. You motherfucking did ! CONGRATS !!!!!! Since you know how it feels to live in such a deprived state you put everything in your power not to fall back into it. You have built quite the financial literacy. Unlike your family you are sitting hoping for a miracle, you prefer having control over your own life. You let go off a good suitor that was going to give you stability. The ring, the house and the kids but you want more. You spent the last year living a basic life to save you and your family. Now you want to experiment with your looks, activities and learn more about your own desire. Don’t hate yourself because you choose’’ you’’ and sometimes choosing is not about a reason but a feeling. Believe me if they said they are going to wait… they are probably waiting. Don’t feel guilty because they are rooting for you and your happiness.
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PILE 2
Bestie, let me tell you something magical:
Focus on living in the beauty of your truth, unapologetically. Let your heart be guided by clarity, not illusions. You've grown, you've blossomed, and not everyone deserves to witness the garden you've nurtured. Some will see your glow and mistake it for something they can dim, but you know better.
Surround yourself with those who celebrate your growth, not those who sulk in the shadow of it. It’s okay to leave behind the ones who can’t appreciate the masterpiece you’ve become. Their energy was never meant to shape your future—it was meant to teach you what to protect.
Right now, bestie, the vibes are all about you. Shine boldly, love fiercely, and walk away from anything that makes your soul feel heavy. You’re stepping into your best self, and it’s time to embrace the joy of that without looking back.
What should I focus on right now for long-lasting growth?
Y’all just moved to your new house. You may be in decorating mode, making sure to buy all the essentials, making sure to organize the bills and if you need to renovate mama/papi is turning to DIY Bob the Builder. First of all, motherfucking CONGRATS! Moving in this economy is like one of the biggest achievements. You are advised to go hangout in your community doing something that resonates with you. Whether going to the movies, reading club, knitting classes or walking around in the mall or the park near your house. Because you may be feeling lonely and you hate going out on your own because it is making a matter worse but somebody is going to strike up a conversation with you. Y’all going to enter a new friend group that's going to feel like family. Head up Pile 2 the same way they are open about their emotions let them in because I swear all they want to do is know you, see you and love you. Also this feeling of wanting community may be new because you got so accustomed to being the ‘’weird kid’’ that nobody really wants to deal with but thank God you did not change because your soul family is one greeting away.
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PILE 3
Darling, let me wrap you in some truth:
This moment is yours to reclaim. You’re standing tall, blooming in your own power like the Empress you are—creative, abundant, and unstoppable. Staying firm in your decision to hold that no-contact boundary isn’t just strength; it’s self-love in its purest form.
You’re no longer chasing love that left you questioning your worth. You’ve grown beyond that, and now you’re building a life where your heart beats freely, unburdened by the echoes of what was. Focus on your business, your passions, your empire. Every step you take is a step toward the future you deserve.
Let them wonder about your glow from afar. You’re not here to dim your light for anyone who couldn’t see it before. Keep shining, bestie. Your journey is just beginning, and it’s a masterpiece in the making.
What should I focus on right now for long-lasting growth?
First congrats on your pregnancy. Y’all always wanted a kid and you actually thought that the father had his shit together but when it comes to standing for your baby or your ex. Is always going to your bundle of joy. On the other hand I feel like y’all are never going to do it again. Like pregnancy is not a fun experience. Y’all are not living a traumatic experience but just feeling uncomfortable all the time … ain’t it baby. Also you are so ready to meet your little one.
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2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)
3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)
#tarot#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#divination#tarot cards#pac#pick a card#pick a picture#pick a pile#divine timing#divine guidance#intuitive messages#intuitive guidance#intuition#free readings#free tarot readings#free tarot
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Tolerate It (series)
Synopsis: Life as Patrick Zweig’s controversially young girlfriend should have been a dream, but it was anything but. He was a broken man. You were a girl who knew all too well. Who’s to say whether you’ve got it wrong now…
★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★
Pairing: Patrick Zweig x reader
Word count: 1.6k
Warnings: angst, reader is jealous and somewhat paranoid, references to cheating, creepy old men hitting on reader, both Patrick and reader get much needed wake up calls…
Notes: This entire part is kind of frustrating BUT it’s so necessary in the progression of the story y’all! It will all come together trust!! (Also I’m on Thanksgiving break soon so I’ll be able to write more)
Previous part
★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★
Part 3: Things fall apart
2029:
Weeks before you two had agreed to the interview, you already knew Patrick was going to retire. It hadn’t been announced at that point, but you knew. It had come after a particularly bad fight.
“But you don’t understand, Patrick! You’re not listening to me! It’s not easy for me, I feel like I drop everything to be there for you all the time. When was the last time you honestly did anything for me?” You shouted at him, frustrated at the fact that you were even having this fight. He had complained that you didn’t seem so supportive of him going for a spot in Wimbledon in the upcoming season, which you hadn’t been because you were tired of traveling all the time and being alone during the day while he practiced incessantly. That didn’t seem so hard to understand to you. He had won several titles over the past few years. What was one other?
“Oh, I don’t do anything for you? Who payed for the house we’re in right now? Who bought you that dress? Who bought that huge fucking rock on your finger?” He fired back angrily. You hated fighting like this. It always reminded you of the power imbalance between the two of you.
2020:
After finding out what you did, you decided not to confront Patrick. It must’ve been your mistake. You wrote it off as foolish assumption on your part. In your gut, though, you knew better.
You two went on like normal for a while. He went back on tour for a bit. With this newfound information, you definitely called him more often than before. He didn’t seem to mind though, which honestly surprised you for a bit. You half worried about annoying him, seeming like just some ridiculous kid, but at the end of the day, you did really care about him, and would do anything to make sure he stayed with you.
On a cool, Spring Saturday evening you called him, knowing he shouldn’t be busy given the time. Much to your dismay, though, no answer. Fuck. So you called him again. Still no answer. Doing what any rational person would, you checked his location. He was at some bar. You felt defeated. Surely he was with some whore. Then a terrible, horrible idea came to you. What if you drove out to where he was playing? What if you drove out to that bar? …No, you couldn’t. But then again…it was a Saturday night. You weren’t busy. And he was far, but realistically, not that far. A 4 hour drive. So maybe he wouldn’t be at the bar by the time you got there…but then again, maybe he would be? Your curiosity jealousy got the best of you as you grabbed your keys, slipping on your shoes and heading out to your car.
You drove like a bat out of Hell, surely speeding, but you hardly cared. You were fueled by your paranoia. What was he doing at some random dive bar? Why wasn’t he answering your calls? You intended to get answers to both of these questions.
Driving so quickly, you shaved a whole hour off the drive, arriving at the run down looking bar a little past midnight. When you got there you parked, slamming the door before marching into the building with purpose. Upon entering, you took in your surroundings. It was dim, most light coming from neon signs for different beer brands. There were a few pool tables off in one corner, an empty stage, and the bar, which looked to be the type that really only served beer or whiskey. Why on earth would Patrick even be at a place like this? He’s gotta be with some girl…
It wasn’t too busy. There were a few older looking guys at the end of the bar, not “older” like Patrick— actually older— and several ladies who looked to be in their 40s, loudly cheering with margaritas in hand. Still no sign of Patrick. You were still stood by the door, looking down at your phone to check his location, which still pinpointed him right at the bar, when you noticed the older men leering at you.
“Hey princess, what’s a pretty little thing like you doing here,” one of the men hollered. You tried to avoid eye contact, walking further into the bar and therefore away from them. There were several guys who looked to be closer to Patrick’s age crowded around the pool tables, so you walked in that direction, hoping Patrick was among them. With your luck, however, none of the dark, curly haired men were Patrick.
“What’s your name sweetheart,” one of them purred, leaning on his pool cue and eyeing you up and down. You felt uncomfortable, but definitely safer here than with the old guys from the front.
“Um- I’m looking for my, uh, boyfriend. He’s been here for a while, supposedly, and I was just kind of worried about him. H- have you seen a guy like this?” You turn your phone, then, showing off your lock screen which is a picture of you and Patrick cuddling in bed.
The man laughs in response, nodding his head in the direction behind you. “There’s your man, but uh, I don’t know if you’ll wanna see him…” he said smoothly, with a sense of pity filtering through his words. Your heart sank before you even turned around, and everything felt like it had just become slow motion. You turned around, seeing Patrick in a dark corner making out with another girl. You could hardly see her with his hands all over her face, but she looked to be sort of young like you. What the fuck?
“Hey, I’m sorry-“ the man behind you offered, but you walked away from him without another word. You approached Patrick quickly, reaching him finally. Despite your loud steps against the creaky wooden floor, neither he nor the girl he was currently kissing turned in your direction. Before you could even think of a strategy, you just let out a defeated assertion.
“Patrick.” His eyes immediately opened as he practically pushed the girl off of him, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“Fuck, uh, what are you doing here?” That was all he could offer?
“You didn’t answer my call,” you replied as if it was the simplest thing in the world. You weren’t even sure why this hurt so much. You knew he was fooling around on tour…it was just something about him avoiding you to do so that really got you. The whole thing got to you, honestly, but you had been kidding yourself for months. It just finally fell apart.
“So…you came to my fucking location,” he questioned, looking at you with wide eyes. ‘He thinks I’m crazy…’ you thought. You looked up at him, tears welling up in your eyes. You didn’t want to cry here in this stupid dive bar in the middle of nowhere in front of him and his girl of the night.
“I didn’t know what else to do…I- I was worried,” your words were shaky as you spoke, your lip quivering. The girl he was with had walked away at this point, presumably assessing the situation enough to decide that it was best for her to leave. Patrick’s expression had changed from shock to pity.
“Baby, c’mere I’m so sorry…come on,” he tried to pull you into a hug, but you pushed him away.
“No Patrick, I don’t- I don’t want to just hug and forgive you all over again,” you sniffled, looking at him not with anger, nor sadness, but betrayal.
“Again?” He asked, looking confused.
“I saw your texts with that other girl from Savannah months ago when you came to visit. I’ve known for a while…” you murmured quietly. His eyes widened again, clearly shocked by this information.
“Shit- uh, you saw that? Fuck- why didn’t you say so sooner, oh my god.” You looked at him and no longer saw that man who could’ve hung the moon and stars. Now when you looked at him, you saw him how he saw himself: a pathetic loser who was in need of a serious reality check.
“Fuck you Patrick. I’m done.” With that, you moved to leave the bar, but he gripped your wrist as you turned, stopping you. “Let go of me,” you ordered, looking at him sternly as tears rolled down your cheeks. He did as you said, letting you go before chasing after you. In the parking lot he met you by your car, leaning on the door to keep you from leaving. “Move,” you muttered angrily.
“Baby, come on, just tell me what I can do. I can change, really, I promise. Please, I don’t wanna lose you.” It felt like bullshit, but it was honestly the truth. You were the most consistent thing he’d had in his life for a long, long time. I mean, hell, you two had been together for 9 months now. For him, that was like forever.
“You want to change, Patrick? Really, you want to change? Well here’s some advice then: get your shit together. I don’t care what you have to do. Go talk to your rich old daddy, ask him for a loan, and actually get back to where you deserve to be in your career. Fix your fucking relationship with your friends, because I know there’s still something there that you won’t tell me about, and I’m sick of it. And finally, actually learn how to be a good boyfriend. Don’t be such a man whore, it’s really not as attractive as you think it is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m leaving. Give me a call when you’re a changed man.” And with that, he silently moved out of your way, watching you get in your car and reverse, leaving him standing there alone in the parking lot.
#challengers#patrick zweig#patrick zweig angst#patrick zweig fic#patrick zweig x reader#challengers angst#challengers fic#challengers movie#cordelia writes#tolerate it series#tolerate it
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Seconding started with a pin with my whole chest!! That one is SO dear to my heart. Below a few personal favorites to add to the list. Please mind the tags on these :) As mentioned, early Zaundads fandom skewed dark and messy.
the last drop / what was and wasn’t and silco and vander / tales of a knife by revelisms
Last Chance by Blue_Daddys_Girl
There's only one way their story ends, Silco knows. Yet still in their last moment alone together—their first in so many years—he offers Vander one last chance.
it is snowdown by zevlore
It is Snowdown in the undercity, and the snow is soft and grey and slushy, and she is uncomfortable in her skin. Four vignettes into Vander's life.
hit count by ducky (conscious_mess)
An attempt to flesh out their backstory. (Relationship breakdown drabble that got out of hand. Still counts as drabble because they "become sodden by movement through muddy water", so ~nnnyehh~)
Silt Verses by JeanLuciferGohard
Pump 47 is failing. It’s water to their waists now, slick with Fissure-filth and sucking grime. Vander huffs shakily, squinting up the mineshaft like anyone’s coming. “Never thought it’d be like this.” Silco barks a raw, ugly laugh, head lolling back against the rock. “That was always your problem,” he says, “lack of vision.” You learn a lot about a man when you're both about to die underground. Or: Faith is a young man's game. Silco's old before his time. Character Study.
For enjoyers of more light-hearted things, I remember having a great time with these:
Warmth by BiCaptain
The worst part came when her dads came face to face with each other.
The Fluffiest Little Murder Boyfriend uwu by Fiddlezips
Silco is a Yordle. He stands just taller than Vander's thighs, which is a generous comparison. His fur is short, fluffy around his long ears, and grey beneath the dirt. “Zaun Gray” is how he describes it, and his small mouth twitches into a smirk each time.
And for those looking for Zaundads of more smutty variety:
Cage Match by Zkyfall
Life since Silco moved out has been Hell for Vander. Trying to juggle his job with suddenly being primary caregiver for the girls, all while wrestling with the guilt that maybe the separation is all his fault. The stress is killing him and he doesn’t even have his favorite go-to outlet: fantastic sex with Silco. When Vander sees an ad for an app-controlled cock cage, he's intrigued. Finally a way he can get his submission fix, even without his favorite Dom! What could possibly go wrong?
To break new ground by Rimeko
“Now,” Silco adds, “I don’t want your apologies, but I do want your dick. So can we do just that, or do I have to fucking gag you too?” Ahem. Reconciliation sex? Zaundads bingo event: Edging
i'm breakin' a sweat (i think i need some ventilation) by zevlore
“You,” Silco pants, practically gasping for air as Vander continues his assault on his exposed collarbone, hands deftly sliding the rest of his and Silco’s clothes off, “are insatiable.” Silco's been spending too much time working. Vander convinces him to take a break, among other things.
Locked by IAmANonnieMouse (and the following Denied and Freed)
Vander isn’t that strong. If left unchecked, he’s selfish and insatiable, unable to think of anything but his own pleasure. That’s why he needs someone like Silco to keep him in check. To lock him away and throw away the key.
Useless by Fiddlezips
Silco is used to disappointment. After all, his plans—whenever they involve Vander even a little—do have a tendency to fall through.
Unfortunately back in the day I was not utilizing AO3's bookmarks nearly enough so I know I am missing a ton of good ones. New folks should absolutely go out and explore the Silco/Vander tag on their own because I remember there were a lot of incredible fics around these past few years!
Either way, happy reading! It's nice to see the ship getting traction again :)
Anybody want to create a quick quintessential Zaundads fanfic rec list?
I was away for a long time between seasons, so I probably missed a ton but those are some of the longer/meatier ones I remember, particularly one of the more fix-it category.
While the World Turns Around by Blue_Daddys_Girl
In a chance meeting Vander sees Silco for the first time since the fateful day he's come to regret so deeply. Silco has changed—they both have. Vander can't stop thinking about him.
Reconciliation AU by Rimeko
If the cannery scene went down differently, if Vander got thrown into Stillwater with Vi instead of (maybe) dying, and if Silco eventually got them both freed. What, then? What to do with the ruins of what once was? How to deal with love and betrayal and everything that went down in the meantime, and how to move forward.
Stillwater Marriage by Alishatheninth
AU in which Vander does not insist on having one last pipe, therefore gets out of Benzo's shop before Silco has Deckard kill all the Enforcers. Vander decides there's really little to be lost by simply handing the reins to Silco. Silco has to deal with a slightly different set of challenges, and does so in his own, slightly deranged, way.
started with a pin by bloodinthewine
Silco doesn’t expect to find anything extraordinary when he accompanies his daughter to her first Pride parade. Vander, an infamous and experienced leather daddy, finds him anyway. (or The Leather Daddy AU)
And just some personal favorites of mine that I remember:
underground utopia dynasties and dystopia by leonshardt, which I think is the original prostitute!Silco stories.
Old Griefs and Childrens Faiths by GoddessofRoyalty, an A/B/O story which always made me hope for a parent!trap style story where Powder tries to reunite Silco and Vander
There are some mores that I love, including some smut ones, but everybody please mind that season 1 Zaundad fandom often skewed more dark, messy and angsty.
Anybody else have any favorites? Any other popular fics I missed? If somebody was joining late, what would you recommend to them?
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Narrative-wise and character-arc wise based on what we know up until s4, do you think Mike and El break-up is better before or after the time skip?
aghhhhh this is such a hard question because it could actually work both ways tbh but it would just have to handled differently <3
If it's before the time skip:
this would feel extremely rushed and disingenuous if it is not done correctly. It would honestly feel like the Duffers just decided to fuck with their viewers by giving milkvan a 'good' moment in the last ep of season 4 and then taking it all away in season 4. I think if they were to do it before a time skip, the whole of the first episode would have to be before the time skip so it feels like the episode doesnt just BEGIN with like a big breakup, because closure to a storyline doesnt usually get done in the first episode or the beginning of the first episode.
I know, I know, we really want milkvan to break up immediately and have no romantic moments or whatever. I don't think this will be the case, I think if it's before the time skip, then El will likely break up with Mike, but honestly I have no clue how they will write it. Because the situation is way way more complicated than people actually write in fanfiction (I have literally written a milkvan breakup but i dont think it will happen in that way).
I think the only way that Mike can know about the painting is if he hears it from El, and I think it makes the most sense for her to tell him during the breakup, but this will make less sense if this breakup happens before the time skip. HOW IS MIKE MEANT TO RUMINATE ON THIS FOR A WHOLE YEAR AND A HALF ??????????????
If it's after the time skip:
this would be so weird because like <3 what do you mean they've been in this weird limbo space for a whole year and a half?
however, i think if it's after the time skip, it would make sense if mike keeps saying i love you to el and is now able to because he said it in the pizza place, but el still thinks that he is being fake. but then again it makes NO SENSE for her to not confront him about this for over a year yknow? therefore if this happens after the time skip then it would have to be mike breaking up with her after realising he's gay or something - therefore it would not be in episode one and would have to be after he's had a self-discovery arc. Maybe he realises what the painting really means, leading him to break up with her.
i would not like this however, because it does not make sense for his character to do this up to this point, since he has been so afraid of losing her, so honestly i think it needs to be el exercising her autonomy to break up with him if that happens, but this again makes no sense to do after a year and a half IM JUST SO CONFUSED ON WHAT THEY WILL DO HELPPPPP THIS IS JUST A STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS AT THIS POINT................
okay sorry for that rambling: honestly i think that it should happen before the time skip, and that pre-time skip should occur for a whole episode (episode 1) and the break up should happen around the end of the episode, where mike finds out about the painting so he can think about it for a longer time (1 year) which i guess means he can be the one pining yay
TLDR; i have a breakdown
#byler#byler endgame#mike wheeler#will byers#byler nation#stranger things#stranger things 5#anti mileven
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Valentino Rossi's academy of supernatural rider (Chapter 20: Not just empty threats)
TW: mention of suicide, violence, threats and death
Vale was walking through the corridors. He didn’t ask where he had to go. He knew it in an instant. He didn’t even question who he was so sure to find his way in a place he had never been before. He knew where to go and how to get there without being noticed.
And he didn’t hesitate as he pushed the door away. He heard a dark knock as the door hit the wall. It sounded violent. He didn’t care. He couldn’t. He just didn’t had it left in him.
All he felt was pain. He felt hate. He felt fear. He felt the bussing feeling of loneliness in his head showing him that his brother was almost gone. Only his wolf remained. He hated that feeling. He wanted to rip his head open and destroy it himself.
26 year were too short of a time to stop being able to have Luca close. And all he wanted was to hug his baby brother. He wanted to hold him close, give him a kiss on the forehead and tell him that everything would be fine. He wanted to tell him that it didn’t matter who said what about him, because he would never be alone. He would always be by his side, even if the world was against him. Noone could separate them.
Vale wanted to comfort Luca, like he had done so many times ever since the young boy had been born. He wanted to hold him close and protect him from the world. He wanted to dry his tears and distract.
But he couldn’t and as he stared inside the room, he saw the reason right there.
Alex sat up straight, taken aback by the sound. He immediately froze on the spot as he looked up. He felt his mouth hang open and his eyes widen. He was the last person he had expected. He hadn’t expected anyone. Maybe Luca. But he never thought he would see him right now.
There was a lot to say after all and he really didn’t had the strength to say it now. He just didn’t want to deal with him now.
But here he was.
He took a deep breath, ready to say something. He wasn’t even sure what he’d say. He wanted to explain. He
wanted to say they should step outside to give Marc some peace and quiet.
Marc was sleeping. He didn’t want to wake him up right now. He was still weak. Alex hoped the Italian would at least have the heart to leave Marc out of this for now while Dani stayed there to make sure the new werewolf didn’t do anything stupid.
Well and then there was this werewolf issue they had to deal with. So lots of conversations, Alex didn’t want to have.
But why now?
This whole situation seemed to only be getting worst and Alex started to wonder if fate was currently laughing at him with all the different turns his life had taking in the course of 4 days.
He took a deep breath, ready to ask Rossi to leave Marc out of this but he didn’t. He couldn’t. The pure rage on Vales face was enough to silence him.
It was such a raw expression. His eyes cold. His pupils were smaller than usual. He pulled his lips up revealing teeth clearly too sharp to be human. If it hadn’t been for Dani’s explanation that both brothers were werewolf, he would question that.
Rossi was angry. That surely couldn’t be good. The only reasonable explanation would be Luca. Alex assumed he had called him and explained everything that happened.
Luca must have mentioned Marc’s injury, the change, their fight… And for some reason that was enough for the retired rider to just show up.
So where was he?
Had he left him alone again but this time with an angry Vale? It somehow felt like another betray. Like Luca was throwing Alex to the wolf. To Rossi.
“YOU!” the Italian hissed loudly. “You fucking bastard-!” before someone could do anything, Vale was already next to Alex, grabbing him at the neck of his shirt. He pulled him up and pressed him against a wall. His hands were on his collar. He used all his force to press him against the wall.
It was inhuman strength.
“What the fuck have you asshole done to my brother? What have you done to him?” He almost screamed. He pressed Alex against the wall who could help but let out a sound of pain. The cold stones were pressed against his spine.
Vales eyes were wide and crazy. He looked like he was about to lose his mind.
“Vale, calm down!” Dani had gotten up just as quickly. His hand went towards Vales, trying to ease the grip around the shirt of the young man. “Calm down?!” he spit back. The disgust was clear in his voice as his hands reached for Alex jaw.
Violently. He pulled his face up. He pressed the back of his head against the wall. It was a lot. Alex wanted to scream but he felt like any sound would just make this worst.
“I am this close to bite out his vocal cord and fucking swallow it and you’re telling me to calm down?!”
Alex whined. He was afraid. He was so fucking afraid because he believed Vale. He was serious about hurting him. He was already conflicting physical pain and his level of anger was so high he definitely could be able to. And he didn’t know how Vale being a werewolf affected this all.
He wanted to cry. He felt weak. Like a child. He was helpless and he didn’t understand what was even going on. He wanted to be protected and his first thought was Luca. Luca always said he would always protect him. Against everyone and everything.
So where was he? Why was he letting him down? Again?
But Dani was there and he didn’t care about Vale’s strength. Dani was ready to defend Alex against everything and everyone. Alex was his little brother just as much so he took the Italians attack personal.
“Yes I do!” The Spaniard replied, forcefully ripping his hands of the boy. “Because right now you are acting like a stubborn 5 year old that is angry because his best friend talks to someone else. You are a grown man, get a fucking hold of yourself and act like it!” Dani screamed.
Screaming was for the calm man unusual but he would not accept Vale speaking to Alex like that.
Vale slightly turned to him. His murderous glance now directed at the other retired rider. “Careful, Pedrosa. I am much stronger than you are” he said, letting his teeth flash in the artificial light.
Jorge looked from his husband to his former teammate. He would get in between them in a heartbeat if Dani was in real danger. But right now it were just threats and no real risk. And he knew that his husband could handle Vale better than anyone else. Especially like this.
“Try your luck, Wolfie. I am not scared of you.” He replied coldly. He took a step towards him, looking up at him. He pressed him slightly away, giving Alex the chance to make a run. Quickly, he dogged away and fled to the other side of the room, where Jorge put a protective arm around him.
He pulled him close, feeling him shiver for a moment. He wanted to kill him right there and then just for scaring Alex. They wouldn’t let anyone threaten their boys.
“You are just angry because your little brother is in a relationship with someone you don’t like.” Dani said in the meantime. “And I know the Marquez family aren’t on top of your preferred in law list, but Luca and Alex are a great couple. They… It is complicated at the moment but every couple has their fights. I’m sure they’ll-“
“Oh shut the fuck up! You think I care that he is fucking my baby brother right now when he-“ “Baby brother?” Jorge interrupted, his arms crossed in front his chest. They wouldn’t be easy for any of them. “We are talking about a grown ass man. He’s closer to 30 than to 20. Fucking act like it.”
Vale used the moment to give his ex-teammate a look of ‘shut the fuck up’ before he replied with a stern “Baby brother. Still. And he will always be. Asshole.”
“Hold up…” Alex said, after having found the trust in his voice again. “If… If this is not about me and Luca dating- “ He just decided to go along with this version as he had no interest in explaining his dating and moral dilemma to the angry brother of his boyfriend or potential ex-boyfriend. “Then what the fuck is this about?”
Vale went from completely ignoring him to staring at him in disbelief. The look on his face was priceless. He was taken aback by that. The shock or surprise seemed to cover his hate for a moment. Obviously, it had been clear to him that whatever was going on, should be well known to Alex.
“You – You don’t know, do you? You have no idea what you done to him?” There a laugh at the end of his sentence, but it only made him look insane. Not happy. Or relived. It was an insane laugh, like he could believe what was going on.
“What I did to him?” Alex repeated and now he was the one that felt close to insanity. He tried to go over everything in his head. What had he done? He remembered everything and for a second the hurt came back and he just wanted to cry and disappear. But he didn’t. Marc was back. He was save. There was no reason to break down again.
He pulled himself back up. Marc was alive. Luca was who knows where after their fight.
“You have no idea what went down here the last days” he stated, his voice slightly shivering. He was so close to just scream and let all the emotions he gathered during the last days out. But he wouldn’t give Rossi the satisfaction of knowing that he got to him.
“So don’t you dare fucking judge me.” He was proud of himself for standing his ground. He felt Valentino look him up and down. It was a judgy look. He looked angry and just as Alex was about to call it a win for him, the Italian responded “You really are an as arrogant asshole as your fucking brother” and the other froze on the spot. Because what is that even supposed to mean?
“Okay, Vale, that’s enough” Dani said annoyed. “If you’re just hear to insult Alex, just fucking leave.”
“Trust me, I will. I would love to do nothing else but leave but before I can do that, I need to know what this cunt did to my brother that he lost his mind!” “Lost his mind? Are you delusional?” Alex scoffed. This was starting to get ridiculous. There was no sense in his words.
“We had a fight. Okay? Yes, I said some mean things after he tried to murder my brother. Sorry that I have emotions!” he said, his gaze not leaving Vale. Alex was fed up. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to be with Marc, who was still sound asleep, unaware of the events in his surroundings. He wanted to be with Luca and talk everything through. He wanted his boyfriend back. He wanted the relationship back he had a few days ago when everything was good.
Rossi however was not on the list of people who he wanted to deal with.
“But fucking hell” the younger Marquez took a deep breath as he continued. “He is an adult. I am sure he can handle some insult and being yelled at without you playing bodyguard or whatever the fuck you’re currently trying to do.”
“You really have no idea what you did”
Alex was really close to just throw a book at him for his cryptic statements.
“Valentino, I…” he sighed. For a moment he actually considered just calling security and throwing him out. He was very close but he assumed it would just complicate things further. This particular Italian really wasn’t known for being able to handle rejection well. “Luca and I –A lot has happened, okay? You can’t blame me for saying things I shouldn’t have said in anger. You’re the expert in that, after all” “Oh fuck off, Marquez”
He had no hesitation so he just replied with “How many times have you said that, hoping to end an argument” “Careful with your words, fucker” And Alex scoffed at that. That boy was done. He almost lost his brother. The love of his life had lied to him for years. And now he had to deal with Marc being a werewolf and a fucking Italian with anger issues and attitude problems.
“No.” he said, deciding enough is enough. He didn’t act rational. There was no justification for it. So he refused to put up with it. “You come here, in my brother hospital room and attack me. You have the audacity to physically attack me, threaten me and scream at me cause I had a fight with your brother? Grow the fuck up. Luca is an adult. This isn’t pre-school so I am pretty sure he can handle some insults and yelling in a tense situation.”
“What you called being yelled at, caused him so much pain that he has lost his human side which basically equals death for a werewolf”
But that however, seemed like a good reason for Vales behaviour.
Alex brain stopped for a moment. He took the words in. He repeated them again and again. He tried to make sense of them. He tried to connect them with a meaning in his head. Luca lost his human side? Because of him? Which could kill him?
Luca could die? Because of him?
He felt like he couldn’t breath as he understood it. Losing Luca? No. No, please not.
A shiver ran down his spin. Yes. He had cursed at Luca. He had wanted to throw him to hell. He wanted him to disappear so he never had to see him again and deal with whatever remained between them. He only wanted to hate him.
But that was when he thought that he had actively wanted to hurt his brother. Now he learned the truth. Now he knew that whatever he did wasn’t out of spite or hate or to actually bring harm to Marc. It didn’t made the situation easier. It made it worst actually but now he had to deal with it.
“Wait what?” he asked quietly and as he saw how the tension left Rossi’s shoulders, he realized he was just as exhausted as he was from worrying about his brother. Alex saw the hurt in Vale’s eyes the same way Vale saw the fear in Alex’s eyes. There was shock and fear and disbelieve.
“He has lost you” he said, anger still lingering in his voice. It sounded like an accusation. Like he had blood dripping from his hands. Like he was really responsible that Luca might be… Somehow… No longer here.
It sounded ridiculous. But so did the existence of werewolves. Or his brother getting healed in minutes from a fatal injury. So nothing sounded impossible to him right now. “And as much as I hate to admit it” he continued as Alex looked up again. ”Luca loves you. Desperately. You’re his soulmate and he lost you. That… It can drive a werewolf in insanity to lose their soulmate. And if a werewolf goes insane, there is no human left to be saved.”
Too much. There was too much information. And too less at the same time. There were too many worlds that hold too much meaning he didn’t understood. He wanted to ask 1000 question but he feared to hear the answer. He was scared to learn what it really meant.
“I don’t understand.”
Vale sighed. He looked at him. There was pain and pity in his gaze. He wasn’t sure for who it was.
“The pain of thinking he lost you” he explained. His voice sounded on edge. “for whatever reason or in whatever way, was so painful that his wolf took control” Alex wanted to scream and cry. Nothing made sense. This wasn’t right. It didn’t sound like Luca. A part of him was still yelling that Luca was human. But he knew he wasn’t. “Vale, you’re making no sense”
“We balance human and wolf side. But if something happens that’s dangerous, sad or enraging, we lose this balance. The side that can deal better with it, takes control. And sometimes – when the pain is really bad, we lose the connection to the other part of ourself”
He stepped closer. Anger returned to his eyes. All the explanation seemed to shake him up again. Alex swallowed hardly. Whatever followed wasn’t good.
“And whatever you said to him was enough to hurt him so much that his subconsciousness decided that he wasn’t able to deal with it as a human. He pushed him back and locked him out his own had. So right now, my brother is a wolf, hiding somewhere in the woods and refuses to change back.”
“But he can just change back! Let human Luca take control again, push the wolf or whatever away!” he threw back. His mind refused to accept that he might lose Luca. It wasn’t on the table. He had to hold onto that. “He can’t!” Vale yelled back, his anger lurking through again. He stared at him with hate. His face twitched. He was losing control. He looked like a wild animal.
“I lost my brother. Don’t you understand? Are you such an asshole that you don’t understand?” He took a few steps towards him. “Luca is basically killing himself because of you! And what did he do?! Tell me what he did to deserve this? What did my baby brother – MY BROTHER – DO THAT HE DESERVES TO DIE?!”
Tears were shimmering in his eyes. They hit Alex like a tones of bricks. Vale was worried. He wasn’t angry at him. He didn’t hate him for being in a relationship with Luca. And this had nothing to do with Marc either. This was just about them. This was just an older brother worried that he might lose his younger brother, a boy he saw grow up since he was a baby.
It was a brother worrying for a brother.
Alex understood that. Especially after the last days. But now he was somehow responsible for that.
“I… I am sorry” he admitted. Because he was. He had no idea. This wasn’t meant to happen. He was angry but actually losing Luca? No. He refused to. “Oh fuck off. That wont bring my baby back.”
“Vale, that’s enough.” Dani said, taking back more control over the situation at the sight of a devastated Alex. He had seen enough. He had heard enough. Vale wasn’t himself anymore and he was just using the younger one to inflict emotional pain.
“What do you want him to do? Right now. What can we do to help Luca? There has to be a way. Surely you know how to get Luca back? Cause those accusation don’t help anyone”
“Oh they do. They so do… ” He stepped closer to Alex and whispered in a dangerous tone. “If my brother dies, I won’t kill you-“ “Vale shut up” Dani exclaimed. He was ready to punch the werewolf again. “No. Let me speak, Pedrosa or I’ll make sushi out of your husband”
He was being too serious not to take him serious. “So… Alex…” He turned back to him. Slowly. Like a predator, torturing his pray, knowing there was no escape. He took his time. Because he could.
“Like I said before I got so rudely interrupted… I won’t kill you. Don’t worry.” A grin, filled with hate spread over his face. “Instead I will make sure that you know exactly how I feel. I am going to make your life such a hell that you’re going to kill yourself. I will destroy everything and everyone you love-“
He knew he should hold back, but it just escaped his mouth. “You’re gonna kill Marc?” he asked anxiously. “No… That’d be to painless. He will live – for now. Instead I will make him go insane. He will be the monster you saw in Luca but now in reality and it will be so much worse than anything you could imagine. I’ll make sure of that.”
Alex flinched. Going after his brother?
“You see… Marc once told me, back in 2014 that he would do anything to keep you safe. Really sweet actually… You’re very close. But the thing is… So are Luca and I. And I would also do anything to keep him safe. But I would also do anything to revenge him.”
Alex couldn’t breathe.
“If my brother goes insane, it seems like an appropriate payback to turn your brother into an actual monster. A real, feral werewolf with no ability to change back. Luca changed him, didn’t he? So he has not learn how to take control yet. So... No control. No holding back… He’d be a wild animal, still hurt from the change, angry and confused cause he’d have no idea what’s going on. Do you understand? All the primal urges and instincts would be there. But much more aggressive and no natural fear.”
The way he said it, made so much sense to Alex that he was sure he would cry. “How would you feel seeing him like that? Because of something you did?” Marc? Like that? No. No, he had to do something. He had to stop that. He had to prevent this.
“He wouldn’t even recognize you. All he’d see is a source of danger. He’d attack everything and everyone blindly. Even you… Maybe I even get him to kill you.” He laughed slightly and the insanity was written all over his face. He spoke slowly. There was no rush in his voice. Every word was a dagger that he used to slowly kill Alex.
“Oh imagine that… He changes back – And yes I can force that, very violent, very hurtful and harmful – and he’s all alone. He doesn’t understand what happened to him. Or where he is. But there is blood on his hands. He looks down and sees a familiar face – if you’re still recognizable that is. Maybe he doesn’t leave enough of you in one piece that even he’d be unable to recognize the boy he spent his whole life with…”
Not even Jorge was able to recognize Vale as he spoke like that. But it had never been about Luca.
“Marc would think he just killed a random person and he returns, searching for you only to slowly realize that you’re not coming back. Maybe he wonders if that stranger was closer to him than he though. Maybe he spends his whole life questioning if you were that poor soul whose life he ended that violently or if you ran away when you found out what your big brother has become.”
Dani just stood there frozen. There was nothing he could do to stop Vale, as it would endanger them even more to anger an emotionally hurt werewolf. He wanted to pull Alex away and prevent him from listing. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t save Alex and Vale still continued.
“Or he leaves your face more or less alone. You’re staring up at him as he looks down. Still looking up to the golden boy. Right? Older brothers… You kids always look up to them. But even in death? Would you still look up to him if he tears your heart out your chest? Would you forgive him? Cause it wouldn’t be his fault… Right?”
Poison. His words felt like poison.
“But now your body is laying to his feet, bleeding out. You’re completely covered in your own blood. Cold or warm? What would be worst? And the taste of your flesh and blood would still be lingering in his mouth after he tore you apart. It probably would never leave him alone. He would spent the rest of his life knowing how his baby brother tastes… Tell me, Alex… What would do you think that would do to your beloved brother?”
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20, 30
20. Share your favorite ending line
“No? Come now, Mistress Shirayuki.” Izana is not one to cajole, but it is worth it to see her scowl; if they were beasts in truth, her ears would lay flat along her head. “Wouldn’t you enjoy having me at your beck and call again?” “Beck…?” She blinks at him owlishly. “You hardly listen to a thing I said!” “I had other concerns at the time.” Trying to secure an alliance with Arleon’s younger sister, for one. “But this time, I promise…” His lips unfurl into a lazy grin. “…You will have my full attention.”
From Come to Heel, Chapter 1
30. What’s something that you want to write in 2024?
Already answered this one, but I suppose one of the ones I'm really looking forward to in January is getting a crack at the Nanami/Bakery Girl fic, since that thing has been percolating in my head since I started watching JJK in October. NANAMIN SHOULD GET SOMETHING NICE, OKAY.
2023 in Review
#asks#ask meme#fic meme#2023 in review#i need to dig up the AO3 Wrapped meme too#because now that i am not mentally screaming about finishing do-si-do stuff#i'm finally ready to do a retrospective#this has not been my most prolific year#some of that by design and some of that due to insurance BS#which is kicking me around at the beginning of January because all approvals have to be re-filed starting on the 2nd#and it just so happens the 2nd is when i SHOULD be having my infusion#and so instead i'm getting it over a week late....the third time in a row#but that should be the last fucking time for the WHOLE YEAR#so hopefully i'll get to see what I can actually get done#when i'm not falling to pieces
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You sound like you should be writing some Timebomb, if you feel like you've already written everything there's to say about Vander and Silco ;)
That said, I didn't see it as rabid dog. For one I read the ending as open, but as Jinx finally saying goodbye to Vi. And it seemed to me like the universe around Jinx (in the form of the main characters) was already indifferent to her doing "bad deeds". Vi was coming around and even gave her the official invitation to use her violence for good. Vanwick doesn't know or care. Isha did not care. Sevika does not care. Cait gave her the "yeah, whatever, we all do bad shit".
And Ekko, one of the people who criticized her, was given a whole episode to see a good version of her and IMO alt universe Jinx's line about how he never gives up on her to me implies that he would feel positively about main!universe Jinx as well.
I mean that whole scene is basically Ekko apologizing about being too judgemental of Jinx. That his mind got clouded by negativity and he should have kept being optimistic about her.
So in a narrative sense, all the main characters who had an axe to grin with her, grave her a free pass. That's why I don't read it as the narrative punishing her for doing violence.
The only thing that is remaining is Jinx's guilt, her conviction that she's a Jinx, that she hurts the people who come close to her.
IMO I choose to read the ending as Jinx running off and being free, because we have Silco telling her about cycles of violence, Jinx proclaiming she wants to break the cycle, attempting to achieve that with her own death, but is stopped.
I read the scene with Vi as being clearly about Jinx being worried that she will hurt Vi. The mind!Silco seems to say that the cycles of violence mean that Jinx and Vi will keep hurting each other.
But that you should break the cycle. So Jinx before running off to her suicide gives Vi her blessing and essentially talks about being a burden to Vi.
That's what she tries to do with her suicide. Jinx herself is convinced that she is bad, but the other characters think differently. Jinx is worried that she isn't good, but Ekko likely assures her that in another universe she is.
So she joins the fight. To me the message of her falling down with Vander is more about her letting Vi go, but while also assuring us that it doesn't matter if the sisters are apart.
That's why Jinx leaving, just works.
Her suicide is about trying to protect Vi. Because she is the last person left Jinx cares about and she feels like she has killed all the family she's had (that's what she said to Isha). Killed Mylo, Clag and Vander, killed Silco, got Isha killed and Vander a second time.
But she already tried suiciding. So her to just suicide again, though in a slightly more heroic context, just feels kind of redundant, I guess? So to me her leaving Vi behind by traveling to other continents for example (or even other universes) just feels like a more novel iteration.
And it's certainly a better message than "Jinx still can't get over her own guilt even though everybody else has already forgiven her" (remember, Zaundads already set the scene of "naw, it's good actually to forgive the person who tried to kill you" and it's continued with Jayce and Viktor). If we get all of these other examples of characters forgiving each other scary shit, why should Jinx's sins of all be narrative punishment, when for all the others the narrative doesn't just accidentally but fully deliberately and statedly not care?
So I read this ending more as Jinx freeing the sisters from their co-dependence, of freeing Vi of the responsibility guilt she's been feeling. Vi has been feeling guilty over Powder since years (probably even longer than the monkey bomb incident) and this is basically the big "no seriously, fuck off and bang your girlfriend". Even if it takes Jinx to fake her own death to make it happen.
Yes it can also be read as "Jinx accepts her fate as daddy killer number 1, by getting Vander killed a third time and that is her official, I kill so many family members, so I should die", but the scene just didn't feel emotional enough to me.
So I read it just, Jinx is killing Vander as big fat hero moment (again, hopefully sparing Vi some grief, who she witnesses sobbing) and then she runs off into the world. Like in the end, she was the stronger sister.
ETA: Ekko's line about leaping forward and leaving something behind could also be foreshadowing. Jinx is leaping forward, but she's leaving Vi/Ekko/Zaun behind.
A true off my chest bit about Jinx
It's a little critical of the show, but not hate posting. Just my feelings regarding the handling of Jinx.
I just feel like Jinx's death shows the writers hand in a bad way.
To me act 1 sucks because it felt the most rushed and like it needed to pad and set some things in motions, and most importantly they needed to delay Jinx's suicidality.
By all accounts Jinx should have broken after Silco's death. She should have buried him in the Pilt, walked home, set the place on fire and killed herself.
Instead she needs to be delayed, and she needs to have a reason to be in Stillwater with a lot of Zaunites, so that Singed can do his hiring bid demo with Warwick and score a new employer in Embessa.
It's convoluted, but basically Jinx needs two things :
temporary sanity
a reason to completely blow up later on
And they do both via Isha, the worst character in the whole show as far as I'm concerned.
She's introduced in a bad music video that does a weird job of introducing "sane Jinx". Then she seems to immediately be part of the team, and her attachment to Jinx, with zero set up, made it super out of left field.
It was blatant that she was being set up as a mini Powder to calm Jinx down, and when she blows herself up it's not gratifying if you know she's just a crank/lever being used to flip Jinx into dark and depressed mode.
IMO this could have been handled better (and I'd change a lot of the Zaun situation in Act 1 alongside), but then could have still led to Jinx being "saved" by Ekko.
Instead, I feel like the writers, maybe pressed for time, maybe unwilling to keep the "loose canon" as she was in the new state of the world, chose to kill her off.
Her death is Vi's fault, and I can't help but feel it's manufactured.
I feel like the writers broke Jinx an extra time just to tilt her over the edge and have that emotional scene with Ekko, but then couldn't see how to "excuse her".
Like what she's done is too fucked up, too dark (even if Cait served the city to Noxus on a silver platter, gased zaun, and faced no consequences lol) and she can't be made to move on from the horrors of it all.
It feels like they didn't have the time or will to break the cycle for Jinx. But it feels bad. It feels like it was an "attempt at redemption" death.
WW was an arcane creature by then and they all fucked off with Viktor and Jayce. They could have chosen to keep him innactive. They could have had Vi going with Ekko and relying on him.
The one person who can truly believe in the good in her, because he's literally experienced it in another version of herself. The one guy who could tell her again and again that it's not HER, it's the way the world made things, and that this can change.
I don't see why shy away from that, even implied, especially after Ekko managed to pull her from the brink.
It feels like Jinx is a "too far gone" rabid dog better put down than left loose in their setting.
And I don't really vibe with that. I thought true redemption would be her living. Leading. Her and Ekko could work to better Zaun while Sevika safeguards their interests in the Council.
And Vi could have still cried over WW's body.
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what
#school and home life are too much to handle so i skip school#because i cant kick my parents out#and appartments cost money#and i dont have a car to sleep in#i could maybe try to dig up my old childhood tent but that brings a whole host of logistic questions + im scared and it's difficult#anyway. it's fine. it's cool. i just have to hold on until i graduate high shcool and then ?????#find a way to live without my parents money OR scholarships#all for some nebulous end goal of having a job (the only field i'm interested in and good at offers two options:#to become an academic#or to become a freelancer#i do not have the fortitude to be an academic and being a freelancer is convoluted and pays like shit)#i might've spent 24h without my parents occasionally if i spent the night at a friend's place once or twice recently#but besides that the last time i've gone 48h without my parents was when the mental health center organised a week camp uhhhh...#two summers ago#incredibly good for my mental health as you can see#god i remember like... years ago. around 13yo maybe or 14. a guy. i dont know if he was a mental health professional or like social cases#but anyway he told me ''you're too afraid to be away from mommy and daddy'' and it made me want to rip his eyes out#several other people have implied or suggested that too over the years and it's just#am i too dependant on my parents? yes. will it be difficult to take my independance? yes.#does it means i don't both rationally recognize and feel that this is really fucking unhealthy and hindering for me#on top of being unpleasant?#FUCK NO#i want out my guy. there's just not many opportunities for an already mentally ill teenager#now that i'm eighteen i have to grapple with the logistical problems of the money needed and how to continue my education#and im sure a billion more if i start searching a little more seriously#perhaps i should kill myself that way i don't cost anyone any more money#broadcasting my misery#vent
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Azula inadvertently begins a working class revolution because she challenges all suitors to an agni kai and raises the stakes.
Zuko is running out of nobles and disgruntled common folk take that as an opportunity to rise up and take over some provinces.
Half the cabinet wants to send in the army but they also know how bad it's gonna look, you know, internationally.
Azula catches on and thinks it's hilarious. She issues challenges to any and all firebending nobles.
Even if she loses Zuzu is fucked and she has the last laugh.
Zuko changes the law so that Katara can fight her and stop her. He does not realize the implication.
Katara and Azula have a masterful and impressive duel that goes on for hours. They both end up exhausted but refuse to call it a draw.
So they fight the next day, and every day after because neither is giving ground.
By the 12th match Zuko is like: just bloodbend her.
Katara: i tried but she can shoot lightning from her mouth and I can't get a grip.
Azula, now with growing respect towards Katara: In all fairness if the duel was at night, she might win.
So they agree and they fight at midnight.
Katara wins, barely and not without half her body being stunned by electricity.
Azula just asks her when she should propose.
Katara has the realization that Zuko neglected to mention that fact. She goes off on Zuko.
Azula laughs the hardest she has in years. She asks Katara to talk.
Azula: So I wanna apologize to you, for the whole trying to kill you to force Zuzu into a corner. And the whole war thing. I should have practiced this.
Katara: wait what?
Azula: Is it one big apology or does it need to be itemized?
Katara: ...
Azula: I'm also sorry for killing the avatar.
Katara: So you're actually sorry. Like for real regret it.
Azula: Yes.
Katara: why?
Azula: Because the war made no sense. I believed in it when i was younger. I was taught to. It was rewarded. Iroh lost a son. Zuzu got banished. One way or another something pushed them away from the nation's influence. I didn't have anything like that.
Katara, shooketh: What are you trying to say?
Azula: that I am what Zuzu was supposed to be. What any of us would have become if we were raised that way. I didn't begin to question it until i was defeated.
Katara: So, what now?
Azula: Don't worry about the marriage thing, I'll handle it. Not in any bad way... Do I always sound like I'm threatening someone?
Katara: Uh yeah, all the time. Last night you grabbed a tray of mochis and told them you were going to consume them.
Azula: You give sea prunes the same look.
Katara: Okay fair, but back to you not being all evil anymore...
Azula: I'll help Zuzu tidy up, make sure he gets the glory. He's gonna need the public's approval, half the nobles have disgraced heirs, the other half are scared.
Katara: and all of this because you didn't want to marry some guy you could have easily killed after.
Azula: I didn't wanna marry a guy, first of all. And secondly, assasination like that is such a hassle. Plus poisons were my mother's thing...
Katara: wait what?
Azula: Zuzu didn't tell you, she poisoned Azulon because Ozai tried to skip over Iroh when he lost my cousin. Azulon ordered Zuko's death.
Katara: Is your whole family this fucked up?
Azula: Yes. I thought that was established.
So they actually start to bond while Zuko goes on a tour to garner public goodwill.
Aang comes in. Azula apologizes awkwardly.
Toph finds the whole thing hilarious and asks Katara if she likes Azula.
Katara is like, I mean she's really weird but it makes sense and she's making a lot of progress not being evil. Cue an hour of gushing.
Azula meanwhile realizes that if she gives up her title the whole marriage thing goes away. She abdicates the title and tells Katara.
Toph: So you didn't wanna marry Katara?
Azula: Not like this.
Azula realizes what she just blurted that out and runs off. She runs face first into Katara and apologizes. Katara is all weirded out bc this isn't regular Azula behavior.
They do have a conversation about her abdicating. Katara is surprised and opens up more. Azula asks her how she doesn't have vengeful feelings about the fire nation.
They have a heart to heart and end up talking all day.
Eventually Katara and Toph head home and Azula asks if she can send Katara letters...
What if Zuko tried putting Azula in an arranged marriage? What would be his motivation and her reaction?
I can easily see his motive being getting her out of the line of succession if he doesn't trust her at all. Now as far as Azula's reaction goes, she'd more than likely be pissed off and would try to find a way out of it.
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fanfic#atla azula#atla katara#atla toph#atla mai#azula's accidental redemption#kazula#gloomybadger#azutara
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i have no friends who care about me because my personality is boring and understimulating and i have no selling point as a friend and i am being left behind
#negative.#sometimes it’s like. oh i wish people liked me as much as i like them. lmao.#‘we should hang out!!’ ‘we should call!!’ ‘we should play a game!!’ okay but please actually do it :((#i feel like i take so much time to show love and care but maybe i’m doing it wrong?? do i seem fake?? is there something off putting??#i need better friends both online and offline because i’m socially starved#w the exception of like. two people??#every time i try it devolves into generic small talk#and there’s that autistic feeling that i’m saying everything wrong. i’m doing it wrong. they’re giving me that look or their text format#has changed and i’m being wrong#i can’t break out of it. i’ve just stopped reaching out these past couple months and like. genuinely no one said a thing#can anyone please show that they even think about me. like. god.#i go through hell every single fucking day and i have attempted suicide more times in the last year than the last decade#i’m not seeking attention i just?? would love for someone to give a single fuck for once. oh god.#the csa trauma that was triggered this year has been eating me whole. no one knows and no one cares to know#i’ve told two people now total now. even as i’m telling them it feels like i’m dumping it on them and making them uncomfortable#i regret telling one of them. my closest irl friend. god. should’ve kept it in. i can’t stop doing everything wrong.#anyways. i think…. i am going to go cry for a while lmao#man this sucks. mannnnnn this sucks#anyways.txt#(not a vague. never a vague)
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i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.
#it wouldn’t have to change any of the actual plot of the season. except MAYBE amy’s choice but even then i think amy’s choice would be the#one episode where they should be adults. if only for the half where they live in a village in that dream.#because that’s the kind of future that children would dream up. they live in a little cottage and nothing ever goes wrong and their best#friend visits them all the time even though they’ve grown up.#they aren’t actually adults there just children with an idea of what they should be as adults and acting accordingly#and it would still end the same way.#but idk its just. rory’s 2000 years waiting for amy inside the pandorica is already tragic. yes.#now imagine its a kid. a kid in a little roman soldier helmet who will never grow up. who will not leave his best friend.#he loves her and she’s more important than the whole universe and that sort of love is supposed to MEAN something in a fairy tale!#its supposed to melt the ice out of hearts and transform people from stone.#and what that love means here. is that he will have to wait 2000 years. a child and a box.#little rory and the amelia who followed the doctor’s letters to the pandorica. and she doesn’t recognize him again.#and amelia in the pandorica… 2000 years a child trapped in a small box waiting to be rescued.#s5 is already fucked for them but it could be worse. it could be so much worse.#and it would make the doctor choosing to take her place in the pandorica to save the universe later even better.#because who else but the doctor would put the fate of the universe on the shoulders of two children and realize much too late what a#monstrous thing he’d done. and still have to hope. have to hope. that amelia would remember him fondly enough to bring him back to reality.#the logistics of all of this would have been a pain lmao. child labor laws in acting and all that.#BUT. hypothetically. it would have slapped.#doctor who#amy pond#rory williams#<- also this entire time ive been referring to him in my head as rory pond so much that i fuckin. forgot his actual last name.#and then like if you want them to be adults in s6 or whatever you can just timeskip to them getting married and still have amelia remember#the doctor there. it would work. it would.#amelia pond au
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