#but that again to highlight the sacrifices she made as a mother

[cami1a]

one of my biggest problems with the show is actually camila leaving billy. not to say that i think women should stay with an unfaithful man, i’m the dump him friend and would never advocate for that. however, camila’s speech to daisy in the book was such an impactful way of showing that women who decide to leave are strong but so are women who decide to stay and that you can’t judge a woman just on that one decision. on the other hand, i’m really glad the show gave us the moments when camila confronts billy because i feel like that was omitted from the books. but for camila to choose billy and to choose the family she’s created with her daughter was also very powerful. i think the show really pigeonholed into the socially approved idea of what a strong woman looks like while dismissing that book camila’s choice was just as hard and just as strong.

[themattress]

The Dragon Prince's Biggest Flaw

Now that I've finished Season 7 (the end of the Mystery of Aaravos arc and quite possibly the series if they don't get a three season renewal), I once again must reaffirm the biggest albatross around The Dragon Prince's neck. It's not the lore and worldbuilding so reliant on side material, or the never-ending Avatar: The Last Airbender references, or the inconsistent animation quality, or the tonal whiplashes, or the sketchy pacing that results from all seasons being only 9 episodes long. It's the fact that while most of the heroes are likable enough, their conflicts aren't as interesting or satisfying as the villains' at best, and their goals and beliefs are downright not preferable to the villains' at worst. And this season highlighted that again!

Callum doesn't end up going dark or dying despite all the build-up, Rayla gets closure with her biological parents and then gets to have her adoptive parents back and status back and doesn't end up needing to kill Callum, Ezran is pulled back from his tyrannical path by Aanya and forgives those he was angry at, Runaan is among those forgiven and gets to find out he didn't kill King Harrow after all, Soren doesn't have to find out troubling truths of his past or confront the mother who abandoned him or have to kill his sister, Terry keeps his innocence and doesn't have to be burdened by Claudia dying, Lujanne doesn't die, and Janai doesn't end up needing to make the hard choice of executing her brother. The only sacrifice made by a hero is by Zubela, who at least gets to be with her husband in death and tell her son she loves him before dying, with said son appearing to be just fine afterward. Ezran practically boasts about how nobody had to sacrifice anything in the end despite having prepared to!

Meanwhile, Claudia loses her innocence, her brother, much of her mental health, her leg, her biological father, her boyfriend, her adoptive father, and if I'm reading it right even her humanity. Viren gave up everything to atone for his sins and died a painful and lonely death as he reiterated that he's "a servant", as if his problem was that he didn't "know his place" and dared to want more rather than his actual heinous actions in the pursuit of what he thought was justified. Aaravos lost his biological daughter, spent countless years crying over it, spent countless more years imprisoned, and now he has been temporarily killed and separated from his adoptive daughter in the process. (Oh, and Karim was squished to death, but fuck that guy). The villains actually lose things, they actually have to make sacrifices to achieve what they want! This makes them more compelling than the heroes, even if their aims aren't always on the morally up and up...but this season screws up that caveat as well!

Not only is Aaravos' plan at worst something that will create hardships that are perfectly endurable, but at best it's something morally justified because it strips power from a cosmic order that we have been shown is corrupt, composed of self-righteous bigots who will execute a child for daring to share magic with a race they deem inferior and unworthy of it. While the heroes want to create a better world, their solution doesn't address the root causes for the problems in any meaningful way. It's supposed to be framed as them acknowledging the hurt but moving on from in rather than let it bind them to the past, but that only works with the Karim plotline. Aaravos not moving beyond his hurt isn't binding him to the past, it's making him fight for a future where such cosmic atrocities can't be inflicted again...and more to the point, it's making him fight for a reality where his child's unjust execution isn't rendered meaningless. He refuses to accept "bad shit happens and we all just have to move on" when the ones making the bad shit happen move on without paying a damn consequence for their actions. And he isn't even a hypocrite about it: he knows he's also doing bad shit, and that's why he plans to die at the end! He can be with his daughter and his victims can have justice.

Meanwhile, this season is full of heroes also doing bad shit that they justify as for the best, with the difference being they have no self-awareness about it and, as said before, pay no sacrifices for it. From Callum trying to use dark magic and commit the very kind of vile act Viren was demonized for, to Rayla betraying her allies by breaking a rightfully convicted criminal out of prison, to Ezran going full Oppenheimer with the creation of a dangerous new weapon....and, perhaps worst of all, Soren, Terry and co. magically disguising Lujanne as Claudia's long-lost mother in an attempt to trick her into standing down from helping Aaravos. Yes, to get her away from Aaravos they resorted to something far more underhanded and manipulative than anything Aaravos ever tried with her. Why should I root for these guys!?

Honestly, I think if there is one scene that perfectly encapsulates the problem, it's Terry's big Heel Face Turn moment. Aaravos tells Terry the whole dark truth with the explicit purpose of helping him grow and helping him and Claudia be a better couple by putting them on equal ground with one another. And the words he says to Terry in this scene are absolutely correct:

"The true heart is a gift of childhood. For a few wonder-filled years, we each have innocent eyes to experience the world's beauty, in a simple way. Terrestrius, you were lucky. You held that innocent want for longer than most. I have seen generations of humans and elves accept the darkness that lurks in all of us beside the light. There is no black and white, only shades of gray. We must all carry complexity. But please, believe me: that there is beauty in this burden. Your heart will be a little heavier, but now there will be no more half-truths, Terrestrius. We will do what must be done."

All of this is right! Note that Aaravos isn't saying you have to discard your inner child or the good qualities it grants you completely. He is simply saying the truth that you cannot stay in a childlike state of being forever, you must also be willing to acknowledge and accept the darker parts of the world, of human nature, of yourself. If not, you can't do what you must.

But rather than do that and work through things with Claudia, Terry totally backtracks on his pledge last season that he'll never leave her and will always stand with her, all because he is scared of having to grow up and lose his innocence, to take the black with the white and see things in shades of gray, to work toward something bigger than himself that requires him to step outside his comfort zone. And it all feels so phony and unjustified, for three reasons:

- 1. First of all, he killed a man. Does anybody else remember that? He killed Ibis from behind in his third appearance in order to protect Claudia. After that he helped take and hold Soren as a hostage, steal a map from a dragon's tooth, and actively assist in releasing Aaravos despite even his own apprehensions about it. Claudia killing Sir Sparklepuff didn't seem to phase him all that much either. So the notion that he still has his innocence in tact and hasn't lost it already feels like narrative gaslighting. The breaking point being Claudia lying to him and using him (even though just talking to her deeply about it would reveal that Aaravos told her to, since again his plan was to break his innocence once it served its purpose so that he and Claudia could be equals in a better relationship) makes him feel selfish, especially given that he knows about Claudia's abandonment issues and how it will feel if another loved one walks out on her, this time after having sworn not to do so and even staying with her after she left him specifically to avoid this scenario! I'm having trouble feeling sympathy for him here.

- 2. Secondly, even if we accept his decision to leave, why couldn't he just stay on his own and take care of the birds? I mean, he could have stayed with Aaravos and Claudia and just taken the birds with him, but if he really felt he needed to split, why join their enemies? Why go out of his way to side with the people working against Claudia just as Soren had done, once again making her feel betrayed in the process? The justification that he's doing it with the assurance that Claudia won't be harmed doesn't hold water, since one of his new buddies almost kills her later and then shortly after that Soren starts talking about how she's too far gone and may need to die. Did I mention that both of those happen after they try to deceive Claudia with a fake version of her long-lost mother? Which leads to the third and final point...

- 3. Yeah, instead of just going and finding his and Claudia's mother even if it made him uncomfortable, Soren, along with Terry, Corvus, Lujanne and Allen, decided to use a magic spell to disguise Lujanne as her and have her play out an emotional reunion with a vulnerable Claudia in order to manipulate her into leaving Aaravos. When leaving her, Terry said to Claudia "You didn't trust me to make my own choice! You used me! It's not how you treat someone you love...it's not how you treat any person! And if I let you treat me that way, I'm not sure I can really be me anymore!" Yet here he is, not trusting Claudia to make her own choice and using her despite loving her. Is THAT you, Terry? Or have you changed into someone you don't even like, which was your reasoning for not staying with Claudia? Either way, you've blown up your entire rationale. You're just as morally gray as Aaravos and Claudia, except unlike them you lack the maturity to own it, preferring to stay a man-child.

And that's the show's fatal flaw in a nutshell. It wants to be morally complex, except it also doesn't want the heroes to actually embrace their own moral complexity and suffer the consequences that comes with it, which ends up turning them into pious hypocrites who can't acknowledge their hypocrisy or that the villains might have a point with what they're seeking to achieve, who breeze through the show unscathed while the villains actually have to suffer for fighting for what they believe in. It wants to be Avatar: The Last Airbender, but instead it's as if Monk Gyatso was revealed to still be alive and reunited with Aang, if Katara got closure with her mother's spirit, if Yue attempted to sacrifice herself but then the problem is solved differently so she gets to live happily ever after with Sokka, or if Zuko got his scar healed....by Azula no less, who then still goes on to suffer a mental breakdown anyway. Actually, let me rephrase it: she suffers a mental breakdown after she gets scarred herself!

If a third arc happens, I'll watch it if I hear good things about it. But until then....

[angeldeviloshi]

(More AsaYoru and Kiga thoughts compiled from bsky.)

Yoru fully taking in Asa's face and body as her own, acknowledging Asa's youth and beauty as hers and having Denji acknowledge it too. When she used to be skeptical of it.

Back to thinking about Yoru's beauty line again and the fact that horsemen aren't interested in faces both human or devil.

Her face belongs to a human and she also called Denji's face "cute". Especially with Yoru not being shown to have the devil's trademark smell in telling others apart.

More on Yoru's "Am I beautiful" line, I think it's interesting how she's more or less baked into Asa's role as the love interest despite her resistance and distance to it prior to the alley.

And the times she kisses Denji, it's a mark of ownership through the weaponisation of Asa's body. The handjob being carried about by Asa's remaining hand after Yoshida cut off her arm too.

The primary method of them enacting War's power. On a phallic object, the swords made by AsaYoru reflecting Asa's trauma and her past connections. Her teacher and the class prez, the school (stationery), her mother (uniform), Yuko (leg), her apartment and now Denji (the scalpel).

It echoes the context of the aquarium date in turning Denji into a sword by having him fall for Asa due to the belief that Denji wasn't able to turn bc Asa didn't think she had his heart.

Yoru has no understanding of romance or attraction herself and can only reference from Asa and how it relates to possession. Her asking Yoshida to be her boyfriend, her transforming the teacher into the sword, the subject who got Asa killed as a "love rival" of the class prez, because she's "the good girl" who didn't live selfishly enough, making her a target.

Yoru frames her assault on Denji as something she does for Asa and at the same time it places the blame on her because these are Asa's feelings, her attraction. "The other me."

And this is interesting because Yoru sees this not as something she does for herself yet it's also not what Asa wants, she's the one in control yet she believes she's at the mercy of Asa's mind.

The mind she threatened to overtake if Asa stepped out of line. But then she's subject to Asa's retaliation too.

She needed Asa to "blend in" as a human and it resulted in her mind blending with Asa's, the War Devil contorted into the lovestruck teenage girl as the lovestruck teenage girl mutates into a devil.

And true enough, Denji did become a weapon in Pochita's revival. The soap and sushi sword shown in the following chapters highlight the weaponisation of sex too (prostitution, the flesh of the (star)fish)

Denji doesn't know who or what she is other than "Asa". How can she make what they want, what she wants. What is hers. While subject to this romance plot when this is what she's reduced to.

How can she still assert herself as War? In this skin she wears.

(Yoru thoughts during ch.182-ish)

Thinking about Yoru's advancements on Denji being a weaponisation of Asa's desire to connect with him and it's rather apt actually given the nature of AsaYoru's ability as the War Devil and its context with guilt and sentiment. What you Lose for conquest, which is only exemplified by Yoru's absorption of Gun, which she laments as a sacrifice for a greater cause, for the fear of War to be known to the world once more.

The usage of Asa's feelings, hunger and guilt, her body as a tool, as a weapon enacting the violence of forced maturity onto Asa and Denji.

Thinking about Kiga's machinations leading up to the alley and it's interesting comparing Yoru's kiss there compared to the one she enacted in Denji's apartment following the aquarium date, where the border between her and Asa were more distinct, her approach actually framed in a genuinely spooky way.

The kiss as a doomed inevitability for Asa and Denji to turn him into a weapon with Asa's "love".

While the kiss at the alley spells as doomed inevitability for YORU to dissolve into the very romance she was trying to weaponise through Asa's mind and body.

That both instances involve circumstances surrounding hunger and in consuming the flesh of fish.

Yoru clocks Asa's attraction to Denji after he shares the starfish with her. The sharing leading to her biting into the dried fish Denji made despite her aversion to eating fish because it looks too much like a dead body to her.

This framed by Kiga's starvation of her w Eternity. Forcing her into literal hunger through the stasis of her loneliness, her alienation when she messed up in front of Haruka. (His presence there and involvement with the Church adds to this)

Kiga telling her that hunger will push her to abandon her morality. That Asa can't eat fish because she sees the dead in them, but she's able to bite into the fish processed by Denji into food.

Their bodies and meaning altered. Her dream of the chicken carcass alley and inheritance of Yuko's philosophy. To do right by her heart, that this is reinforced to her by Kiga telling her how she can save Denji.

Her appearing in the exact moment Asa and Yoru were swept up in the intensity of Asa's feelings for Chainsaw Man, intensity amplified by Kiga's employment of Falling through Justice in light of Nayuta's erasure of this venue of ownership towards Denji.

It's not enough that Asa had a mild attraction towards Denji because it wasn't enough for her to see him as her own. That Yoru had to take matters into her own hands to mark Denji as hers.

That this is intercepted by Nayuta's ownership of Denji as well as Denji's placement of her above AsaYoru for his love. So Kiga adds fuel to the fire, Nayuta's separation of Asa and Denji just another (unwitting) step in the recipe for the right dish.

Instead of having Asa soak in her hunger through stasis, Falling will draw it out until she is weighed by hunger that Chainsaw Man fulfills. Hollowed out and stuffed with his crapburger as they enter Justice's stomach.

This process targeting Yoru as well in her powerlessness and indignation as her desperation is caught in Asa's affection and determination.

That this is followed by the demolition of Denji's home and family when Denji's hunger doesn't resonate enough w Asa through Barem at the Church due to family. The removal of Nayuta to starve Denji once more.

This cumulating into the containment center where Asa learns that Denji is Chainsaw Man, her ownership of him informed to her by one of Kiga's pawns.

The remains of Denji's home and the loss of Nayuta now the bridge for Asa and Denji's hunger, just as Yoru is starved along with them when what she hungers for is so close, only to trip into the depths she underestimated in humans, sealed in the effigy known as Asa at Kiga's beck and call.

The more AsaYoru's identity converges, the more I think about how it contrasts Miri's dilemma. Given that the horror for Yoru is her dissolving into Asa and the horror for Asa is her melding with Yoru through it.

Miri giving himself a degree of separation w his devilhood but still defines himself through it out of pride as his identity. He is a human who answers to no one but he is also Swordman answering the call of "god".

The horror of this conjoined duality filtered through a romanticised lens of noble purpose as existence.

While AsaYoru is burdened by the need for purpose and existence.

Thinking bout Kiga's summoning of devils via the use of idols/effigies.

Her running the Chainsaw Man CHURCH with the hybrids who are themselves effigies of the devils they embody as weapons.

The iconisation of the CSM as a figure to be worshipped who is then burned with fire as offering and ritual.

Also check out my Horsemen mega analysis thread and Kiga's war on Death through Denji's grief meta analysis lmao.

[m4gp13]

I know I mentioned it in that percethan rb but I wanted to elaborate on why I think Ethan would have been more effective if he was friends with Percy before he joined the TA. I might have already made a post about this before but I can't remember so we're doing it again. (putting it under the cut because it ended up being a lot longer than I meant, oops)

First of all, depending on whether or not you believe Ethan found out Nemesis was his mother when he lost his eye and ran away, having Ethan as one of the protagonists early on would either make him an unclaimed protagonist or a minor god's child protagonist. We don't get any unclaimed protagonists for more than some of a book and there are no significant protagonists who are children of minor gods. This distances the audience from the struggles and goals of many members of the Titan Army because we don't know anyone who has those struggles or goals. Having Ethan as a protagonist would make their cause much more sympathetic to the audience and it would play into the disability themes of the series. Some disabled people have greater needs than others, or have comparable needs that just aren't being met by the systems in place. Characters like Percy and Annabeth have it relatively good considering they're children of Olympians who get their own cabins, but having an unclaimed protagonist or the child of a minor god would highlight the disparity between claimed children of the Olympians and those who aren't as fortunate. This struggle only exists in the abstract for the audience because we never really see it for more than a couple of chapters in the first book. Having a protagonist who is actively living through it would give it so much more weight and make it feel more like an actual tangible problem.

Also, whether he's claimed or unclaimed Ethan would be in the Hermes cabin at this point and I think it would be fascinating to explore what the cabin was like in the immediate aftermath of Luke's betrayal. We know Luke was integral to the social landscape of camp but nowhere was his presence more impactful than in the cabin he was running. We don't get much about the state of the cabin from the Stolls because it isn't in character for them to visibly dwell on it but it would be perfectly in character for Ethan to do so. He would be a great lens through which to see the fallout of Luke's actions and how the campers who stayed behind felt about them.

All the characters who join the Titan Army have either already joined by the time the audience gets to know them or they've already decided to join and are in the process of doing that. It would have been really cool to take a character that the audience knows as a friend to the protagonist and see them grapple with what Luke has done/is doing and ultimately decide that they stand to benefit more from joining the enemy than sticking with their friends. It makes Luke/Kronos's growing influence on the demigods feel more insidious because we actively see it ensare one of the protagonists and turn them into an antagonist. We get told that Luke is charming and manipulative and that so many demigods are getting caught up in his lies and end up joining the army but we never really see it happening in real time. We get Silena, yes, but by the time she reveals this, she's already decided she no longer sides with Luke and is only still working for him because he's blackmailing her.

But my favourite reason that I wish Ethan had been friends with Percy before joining the TA is this: Percy's fatal flaw is loyalty. The whole reason it's a flaw is the looming threat that Percy would sacrifice the world for those he's close to. However, his flaw never gets to be fatal because he's never really in a position where he needs to choose between the greater good and the people he loves. Ethan would have solved this problem. It would have made Percy sparing him in the labyrinth a much more weighty and foreboding decision.

Because in that moment, Percy knows Ethan is trying to join Kronos, and knows that he's willing to kill him in order to do that. Percy knows that the more people who join the army, the more enemies he will have, and the closer Kronos will come to being revived. But Ethan is his friend, so Percy doesn't care about that. He isn't going to kill his friend. And that comes back to bite him in the form of Ethan being the individual who actually revives Kronos. Ethan is also the one who captures Beckendorf and stabs Annabeth. In this case, Percy choosing to spare his friend's life has actual consequences for him, including the death of another friend.

Another reason this would have been great is because Ethan sort of acts as a foil to Percy. Ethan also chose personal loyalty over the rest of the world. Ethan joined the army because his mother asked him to. Everything Ethan does is for his mother's sake and his devotion to her cause blinds him to the collateral damage and the destruction he's causing. The climax at the end, when Ethan attacks Kronos, is him doing the opposite of what got them in this situation. He sacrifices personal loyalty to his mother in order to serve the greater good.

However, if Ethan and Percy had been friends before his heel-turn, that flips his betrayal of Kronos upside down. It becomes him putting his personal loyalty to Percy over the world his mother and Kronos promised him. In this way, not only does Percy see himself and his flaws reflected in Ethan, he is also rewarded for choosing Ethan (and by extension his friends and family) over the idea of the 'greater good' that the gods keep feeding him.

[lemonhemlock]

The episode where Rhaenys busts through the floor and murders countless smallfolk and it having absolutely no narrative consequences on the story or condemnation of Rhaenys' character, and the episode where Aegon murders the ratcatchers causing Otto to crash out have this whole monlogue about Aegon being The Worst being written by the same writer really tells you all you need to know about HOTD. And before you ask, yes, they were both written by Sara Hess lmao.

Yeah, I know there was discourse a while ago, because this dissatisfaction regressed into racist and misogynistic attacks directed at Sara Hess. Obviously, that's vile and people should, first of all, rid themselves of this despicable framework of viewing the world (because, as always, this is absolutely just another opportunity to dunk on a woman - these people don't care about good storytelling) and, secondly, learn how to actually formulate an argument that doesn't sound like the ramblings of a basement-dweller.

That being said, she is categorically not a good writer, there's no other way to put it. She can come up with some good ideas (or, at least, a glimmer of good ideas - for example, the daemyra argument in S02E02 was good - one of the season's highlights, actually) and her line-level writing is... adequate. But, on the whole, her record on House of the Dragon is littered with inaccuracies and logical fallacies. I haven't seen her other shows, but I decidedly have no desire to and will be actively avoiding if I see her name. And I am including Ryan Condal in this mess, too, because he has the ultimate say-so on how the scripts look. These two together truly are the blind leading the deaf.

I think the ratcatcher pity party was, in a way, a reaction to all the backlash she received for the Meleys dragonpit scene. But, instead of fixing her mistake and making it work in the context of what she had already written, she made some absolutely abysmal storytelling choices that defy common sense and contradict her own text. A very easy fix to this would have been to show the population of King's Landing become very anti- Meleys, Rhaenys and, by extension, Rhaenyra. But, of course, the wider narrative set by her genius colleagues was that KL couldn't possible have any negative feelings towards Rhaenyra, so it's completely swept under the rug and the commoners are made to consider Meleys' death a bad omen.

But, naturally, they had to do something about all the criticisms that they are not focusing on the negative effects this war has on the population. However, instead of showing that in a balanced way, they decided to pile all these evils on the greens again. Rhaenyra faces no backlash from the low-born for any of her actions. She does sacrifice them to Vermithor, essentially, by preventing their exit and it's framed as the beginning of her moral compromises and falling into self-aggrandizing behaviour. Yes. But where are the consequences to this? There are no consequences. These dragonseeds don't seem to have any family who are asking questions about them or blaming Rhaenyra for setting them on fire, basically. Not even one noble person hears of this and goes "hmmm that's kind of fucked up actually". Larys, the literal Master of Spies, who might have reasonably be shown to have found out this inside information via his network of spies, might have had some lines informing the green council about this awful thing Rhaenyra has done. Might have even informed the population, in order to turn them against her. But no, of course not, we can't have anyone actually be anti-Rhaenyra.

Meanwhile, we have close-ups of the fucking dog longing for the ratcatcher who literally kicked it in a previous scene. How do you even qualify the framing decision to invite the audience to feel sorry for a child-murderer? To feel more sorry for him than for the actual mother of said murdered child? We have Otto, of all people, lecturing Aegon about how over-the-top he is acting, because he executed a couple of ratcatchers. Otto, who, by the way, is shown in S01E09 to be executing people because they would not bend the knee to Aegon. Otto does not value commoner lives more than noble-borns (last season, he refuses to outlaw child pit fighting and, even in the previous episode, he gets annoyed by Aegon ruling too much in the smallfolk's favour), but he grows a temporary conscience for the purpose of this one scene, because we have to engineer another situation in which Aegon looks cruel or stupid (or both, preferably). Alicent's entire household was purged by Larys for supposedly being Mysaria's spies, the brothel was even set on fire and she gave zero fucks about that, but Aegon's ratcatcher execution is somehow one step too far.

I have said this before, but just thinking "civilians don't matter" in the ASOIAF universe betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of the themes and message. Can you ultimately be anything other than a "bad" writer if you miss the point to such a degree? And you can tell that's her true opinion about all this, because she can't write a storyline in which civilians do matter to save her life. The suffering of the lower classes only matters in her stories just as far as she can instrumentalize it to demonize the greens. She's not interested in any kind of systemic exploration, because that would also involve the blacks and it would interfere with Rhaenyra's hero framing. Like Ryan Condal, she doesn't have the chops to write beyond the hero-villain binary, hence all the flip-flopping and the retconning and the logical fallacies. And, at the end of the day, I can just watch a Marvel movie for that, you know?

[galedekarios]

Hey! You're my go-to blog when it comes to Gale. I love your meta about him, your insight and your knowledge of his character. This being said, I'd like to know your opinion of this line in his romance:

“To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command... None have loved me so purely before.”

Do you think he's talking about romantic love here? Because his mother and Tara clearly love him for the person he is, too. Or are his insecurities and the idea of himself so strong that he can't see this? Thank you in advance, have a great evening!

thank you so much! 🖤

personally, i do think that he does mean this in a romantic context.

HOWEVER, having said that, i do think there are different insecurities woven into his perception of relationships that venture outside of his worth due to magic, and into his worth as a person who is in need of help and support - yet considering the core of why that is, they are also connected.

what i mean by that is that there are moments in particular that make me believe he feels a burden to people, because he is in need of help and - from his perception - makes others 'work' to help him, he asks a "sacrifice" of people (needing magical artefact so he consume the weave inside to stabilise the netherese orb) that is so great in his eyes that he feels the need to convince them that said sacrifice is worth the "investment".

i realise this is sort of going in two directions, but i don't think i can answer this differently so i hope you'll bear with me for a bit:

i'll try to look at the relationships you mentioned in your ask separately to illustrate what exactly i mean.

1. from what little we do know about morena, nearly every time she is mentioned it's made clear that she truly and unequivocally loves gale, and i do believe gale is aware that she loves him, too - and really, truly just for him.

we have these two convos with tara that highlight how that love (both are from gale's origin playthrough):

Tara the Tressym: Well, if it isn't my favourite fellow himself. Gale: How are things back in Waterdeep? Tara the Tressym: More or less the same - though news of some mad faction calling themselves 'Absolutists' is starting to trickle in. Tara the Tressym: I told your mother not to worry. That if they were anything to worry about, Baldur's Gate would handle things quick-sharp. Keep them from spreading their tendrils north. She still wants to know when she'll see you again, sir. I avoid giving any answers. But she misses you. Gale: I miss her too. Tara the Tressym: I'll tell her. With my Cat Flap of Displacement, I can afford the occasional visit. I'd bring you along, if I could. Perhaps some day. - Gale: I can't risk putting her in danger. Tara the Tressym: I know that, but she doesn't. She'd keel over if she knew just how you'd tried to manipulate the Weave. Or maybe she'd just say something like, 'My Gale always was one to make the impossible possible.' Oh, but she adores you.

and this one from act ii:

Gale: Will you love me when I'm a mind flayer? Tara the Tressym: Depends. Are mind flayers warm-blooded? If so, my prize napping spot on your lap won't be compromised. In which case, I suppose we could find an accord. And, of course, your mother would still think you a prince, no matter how many tentacles you had. And with a nautiloid, you may even manage to visit her more often.

from the one tiny snippet (that is still bugged) in which gale mentions his mother to the player character, he seems quite assured in that love his mother has for him as well:

Player: So your last name is Dekarios? Gale: It is. Courtesy of my mother, the inimitable, dare I say it sometimes unavoidable, Morena Dekarios. It's been so long since I've used it. 'Gale Dekarios' cut a poor figure next to the wizard prowess of 'Gale of Waterdeep'. [...] - Player: Doesn't your matter mind? Gale: Oh, she's happy if I'm happy. Morena couldn't care one jot what I call myself. Tara's the real stickler for using it. Has done since I summoned her. I'd prefer you not follow her exmaple, if that's all the same to you. 'Gale' is more than sufficient.

she's happy if he's happy.

i think the only thing that detrimental to the relationship with his mother is the orb, the shame he feels over what has happened and fearing he may put her in danger. which, sadly, is a valid concern to have. these fears aren't only echoed in the conversations with tara. we have this bit from the same conversation as well:

Player: You’re right. Just 'Gale’ is better. Gale: I agree. And on the plus side, if I get myself into any truly cataclysmic straits during the remainder of our journey, my family name will go untarnished.

his family name will go untarnished and with that, his mother's name.

this is more speculative, but in another meta i mentioned that i do believe that gale's father left the family at some point, abandoning morena and gale. his father also is not mentioned in the letter from elminster in god!gale's ending:

this could of course be meaningless and his father simply may not have been there at this point in time, but i think this overall goes with the theme of an absent father and it may have brought gale and morena even closer.

2. tara herself doesn't let gale doubt her love him when the game allows her to be there.

she is extremely quick to try and beat any and all self-deprecating remarks gale may make. she is aghast at mystra's demands to the point of saying that she is considering picking up a crossbow to "put the gods" out of "our business." she's always been there for him, and she always will be. she's his longest friend and companion, as well as colleague.

i've picked a another example here to illustrate what i mean:

this very sadly appears to be cut content (tara was supposed to be there for a companion gale as well), but:

Gale: You seem to have fared well enough without me, Tara. You look positively prosperous. Gale: Or should I say, positively proser-puss! Ha! Tara the Tressym: No, you should not say that ever again. Gale: Apologies! Couldn't help myself. Tara the Tressym: True enough. That's why I came looking - to help, if I could. Gale: I have not failed to notice. I truly do not deserve such loyal companionship. Tara the Tressym: Yes, you do.

unfortunately, like i said, tara as gale's familiar and companion was cut from the final version of the game, so while we do know that gale is aware of all that tara has done for him (considering the conversation from the tiefling party, helping him through his isolation, finding out what his condition needs to be treated, getting magical artefacts for him, etc.), we have act iii companion gale saying this:

Gale: Tara remains as wilfull as ever, but I'm glad you've finally made her acquaintance. Given the length of my time away, I feared she might have given up on me. I should have known better - she'd never do such a thing.

while this is not gale thinking tara doesn't love him for who he is, it is very much gale thinking that tara may have given up on him because of their time apart.

there are definitely insecurities lurking there in the vein of "i cost her so much effort and so much work, so maybe now that i've been away for so long, she's finally had enough."

it's very sad to see.

3. when gale talks about previous lovers he has this to say:

Player: Gale, am I the first... mortal being you've been with? Gale: What a question... Gale: No, you are not the first. Though you are the first since my relationship with Mystra came to its ignominous end. Gale: When the true danger posed by my condition became apparent, I had no choice but to sequester myself away from civilised society. A reclusive wizard - who'd have thought? Gale: After so long with Mystra, I have to say the pleasures of mortal love are much sweeter than I remember. Though perhaps that's simply because it's with you.

this tells us that he must have had at least one lover before. yet, and that is where the quote in your ask is from, he also says this:

Player: What does our relationship mean to you? Gale: You must know, our relationship is the brightest spot in our otherwise bleak endeavour. Gale: To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command... None have loved me so purely before. Gale: You are everything to me, and yet our relationship is only a nascent fraction of what it will become. You give me hope, and I've not had that in some time.

i think we can extrapolate from that that not only his relationship with mystra made him feel these insecurities, but that the relationships he had previous may have also fed into this perception of his worth as a romantic partner is tied to his magical abilities.

it's not hard to imagine: waterdeep is very much a city of intrigue. gale was not only a graduate of blackstaff academy, but a powerful archwizard and a chosen of mystra.

4. lastly, i want to talk a bit more about what i said in the beginning and when i talked about tara and companion!gale: that gale feels he is a burden / an investment.

it's already reflected a bit in the way that he believes his relationship with tara has deteriorated in act iii simply because of the distance between them now that he has been away from waterdeep for a prolonged amount of time.

the first time you can get a sense for this aspect of gale is when you agree right away to help him with his condition. there's a prolonged amount of silence and it's clear on his face that he didn't expect you to agree so quickly and without needing to be persuaded.

Gale: Thank you. I see my trust in you was not misplaced! Gale: I'm sure we won't have to look very far to find what I need: Faerûn overflows with magic-infused treasure. Gale: As do our packs, as a matter of fact. We've such an item already in our possession, primed for the moment the need arises. Gale: I know the allure magic artefacts hold. I understand their value and their power. All this to say: I understand the sacrifice I ask of you.

Player: No. If you aren't willing to tell me the truth, I'm not helping you. Gale: I understand that I'm asking for a lot, but I can't tell you everything.

he makes sure to thank the player deeply every time they do give him an artefact, bowing to them, citing their "boundless kindness" and it's also why he is also quick to reassure them that there will be an upside for them, making this "sacrifice" for his sake.

gale's power and knowledge and skills as a wizard.

he is useful and he can make himself useful.

your "investment" in him now will be "worth" the return later.

in conclusion, i hope now it's clearer why i felt like i had to bring these two things together. i believe they are clearly interwoven with each other.

also sorry for rambling! this got away from me a bit. 🖤

[toodleoorblx]

Light Affections

Rio Vidal x Agatha Harkness

Word count: 1,528

Summary: Rio makes Agatha something special

Warnings: Cursing, light smut, fear

A/N: Enjoy!

Agatha watches her. Her love. Her reason for peace. Her wife.

Rio is in the greenhouse, her lab, doing whatever spontaneous plant mutation comes to her brilliant mind. Just for fun. She’s so effortlessly brilliant, so carefree, completely absorbed in her work. Agatha stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame, her eyes fixed on Rio, who’s utterly unaware of the gaze on her. Blue surgical gloves cover Rio’s hands, her goggles perched on her face, and she wears the same old lab coat Agatha gifted her years ago. It’s worn now, but it suits her. She looks entirely in her element, surrounded by a jungle of ferns and vines, chemicals, and herbs.

Agatha had built this greenhouse for Rio as a surprise, knowing how much she would adore it. After all, she married nature’s incarnate—Mother Nature herself. A goddess in every sense. From the moment they met, Agatha was captivated, entirely infatuated with Rio and her magic, with all of her. Centuries ago, they discovered that Rio had Bipolar Disorder, but Agatha doesn’t see it as a flaw. She loves both sides of Rio equally, with all her being.

In the present, Rio looks radiant. The sunlight streams through the glass panes of the greenhouse, highlighting her big brown eyes, making them glow with a golden warmth. Her tan skin gleams, the sun enhancing her natural radiance. Her dark hair tumbles over her shoulders, a perfect mess of waves that fall just right.

She’s utterly ethereal.

And Agatha feels… like she’s just there. She’s been feeling small, insignificant , her lack of magic gnawing at her more and more. It burns her inside, knowing that Wanda is still out there, playing with magic that isn’t hers to wield. It makes Agatha feel sick, remembering the centuries of work, the endless pain and sacrifice, only to have her magic stolen by an inexperienced witch. Wanda took something from her, her uniqueness, her power, the very thing that made her feel alive.

It makes Agatha want to scream. And she does. Scream. In her sleep, according to Rio. The night terrors still haunt her—vivid flashbacks to her time as Agnes. Being trapped in her own mind, helpless, a puppet in someone else’s play. The memory alone sends chills through her body. But she’s free now.

Before her imprisonment, magic was everything. Her driving force. But now? Now, it's Rio. Agatha feels a stab of guilt. She never neglected her wife, not consciously, but she knows she didn’t give Rio the attention she deserved. Watching her now, simply doing something so mundane, feels like watching a goddess walk among mortals.

Rio has promised to help her reclaim her magic, to find it again. But so far, Wanda has been elusive. Still, Rio says she won’t give up.

Agatha moves across the room with quiet, deliberate steps. She stands there for a moment, watching Rio work, her movements precise and graceful, completely immersed in her creation. A soft smile tugs at Agatha’s lips before she wraps her arms firmly around Rio's waist, pulling her close. She rests her chin on Rio’s shoulder, breathing in the familiar, earthy scent of her wife, a mixture of fresh herbs and something distinctly her.

Señor Scratchy trails behind her, hopping up onto his usual bed of leaves on the desk beside them. The bunny chirps happily at the sight of Rio, his nose twitching in contentment as he settles into his spot, observing the scene as if he too were part of their quiet ritual.

“Hey, darling…” Agatha murmurs, her voice fond and teasing, lips brushing close to Rio’s ear. Her arms tighten just slightly around Rio’s waist, drawing her in with a gentle squeeze.

Rio pauses, her work momentarily forgotten as a smile spreads across her face. She slips off her gloves and turns her head slightly, fingers sliding into Agatha’s hair with an affectionate touch. “Hey, sweetheart,” she replies, her tone warm and soft.

Agatha hums in contentment, the simple touch of Rio’s fingers in her hair sending a wave of relaxation through her. She presses her cheek against Rio’s shoulder blade, her body melting into the familiar comfort of her wife’s presence. Her gaze shifts to the workstation, curiosity sparking in her eyes as she tilts her head to see what Rio is working on.

“What are you up to, dear?” she asks, amusement lacing her tone.

Rio doesn’t turn, but her voice holds that air of mystery Agatha knows so well. “I was making something for you.”

Agatha’s curiosity flares, and she perks up, her smirk widening. “Oh really? And what exactly are you making for me?” she drawls, leaning in just a bit closer, her lips now pressing kisses to the curve of Rio’s neck. Her grip around Rio’s waist tightens just a fraction, pulling her a little closer, as if to coax the answer from her.

With a smile tugging at her lips, Rio turns in Agatha’s arms, meeting her gaze with a mischievous smirk of her own. “It’s something I’ve been working on for a while now,” she says, her eyes flashing with that supernatural green light that Agatha adores, a flicker of power that never fails to make her heart race.

Agatha’s smirk transforms into a full grin. That familiar spark of magic, that confidence—it makes Agatha’s breath catch every time. And that smirk? It’s enough to make her weak in the knees.

“Well, go on… don’t keep it a secret from me.”

Rio raises her hand, and with a graceful flick of her fingers, her magic begins to swirl and coalesce. The air shimmers as a flower slowly takes shape in her palm, its form delicate and otherworldly, it's unfamiliar. Agatha watches, entranced, as the flower fully manifests—a stunning bloom of purples, each petal a different shade, from deep violet to soft lavender, blending into a vibrant tapestry of color. The base of the flower is a striking green, and two of the petals bear delicate, swirling letters—an "A" and an "H," interwoven in beautiful cursive with the magic that pulses faintly from the bloom. Wisps of purple energy drift from the flower, giving it an ethereal, almost living quality.

“I made this flower to symbolize you,” Rio says, her voice gentle but filled with meaning. “The color represents your magic, how there’s more than one part of you that’s beautiful, different shades to the masterpiece that I call Agatha Harkness. The initials, for your name, to mark it as yours, and only yours. The wispy magic, to show your freeness—how you can’t be held down by the restricting conforms of humanity and mortals. And the green stem… that’s to show that with or without me, you’ll always flourish.”

Rio’s gaze softens as she finishes, the flower glowing softly in her hand. “It’s a new species of flower, I made it myself.” she adds. “I named it Mosaic Ahies.”

Agatha’s breath catches in her throat as she gazes at the flower, but her attention is drawn completely to Rio. The flower is beautiful, there’s no doubt about that—but the love and thought behind it, the depth of Rio’s words, are what truly overwhelms her. She stares at Rio, awe and love shining in her eyes, her heart swelling with emotion.

“Darling…” Agatha’s voice is soft, kind. “This is… immaculate.”

Her throat tightens, a lump forming that she struggles to swallow past. She’s not used to being rendered speechless, but Rio has a way of unraveling her control.

With delicate fingers, Agatha reaches out, gently lifting the flower between her thumb and forefinger. She brushes the petals lightly, marveling at the soft, velvety texture, at the wisps of magic dancing around it. The beauty of the flower alone is staggering, but knowing that Rio crafted it specifically for her? It’s almost too much to take in.

“You… you fucking created a new species of flower… for me ?” Agatha rasps, more so to herself. Her train of thought catches as she gazes up at Rio, her pupils dilated with emotion, her mind reeling from the mere thought of what her wife had done.

Rio’s eyes soften, a shy smile tugging at her lips as she fidgets with Agatha’s hand, her fingers caressing Agatha’s in gentle, absentminded strokes. “I’d do anything for you,” she says softly, her voice full of sincerity, as though creating something entirely new was the most natural thing in the world when it came to Agatha.

Agatha’s heart stirs, overwhelmed by love, and in the next moment, she moves without hesitation. She cups Rio’s face in both hands and kisses her—fiercely, deeply, as though she could pour every bit of her emotion into that one action. Her tongue slides against Rio’s, a heated, desperate kiss that speaks of both gratitude and the intensity of her feelings. Agatha presses Rio back against the table, her body leaning into hers, Agatha’s knee slots between Rio’s legs.

Rio responds instantly, her hands finding Agatha’s waist, pulling her closer, her fingers gripping her. Agatha pulls away just enough to whisper against her lips, her breath hot and heavy.

“I fucking love you.”

[classicschronicles]

Hi lovelies,

I feel like I’ve just returned from ‘buying the milk’. I’m sorry I disappeared for *checks notes* 11 months, but it’s been a hectic year. I feel like if I get into it I’ll sound like an AO3 author, so here are some very quick highlights- I have just finished my first year studying Classics at university, I qualified as a fitness instructor (which is a side quest nobody asked for), I’ve become a theatre kid again, and I finally watched Game of Thrones. Studying Classics at uni is basically telling everyone that you study Classics at uni and then getting one of two reactions- “What is that? What kind of job are you going to et with that?”. To which I have no response, because honestly I’m not sure. Or the ever famous- “Oh like The Secret History?”. To which I cry inside because it is nothing like The Secret History. It is actually reading so much Thucydides that he becomes your sleep paralysis demon, and having to translate so much Caesar and Cicero that your daydreams become wishing you were in the Theatre of Pompey on March 15th 44 BC… for no particular reason. And also crying at 3am whilst you try to delude yourself into thinking that this is so dark academia core (spoiler- it’s not). All that being said- this has actually been one of the best years of my life and I am so happy I get to study what I love.

Anyways, I feel like we’re missing the most important part- and that is of course Game of Thrones. Guys. I have a crush on Jaime Lannister. HEAR ME OUT! I can fix him! I promise. I just need one chance. But also, I would fight him because why did he do my girl Brienne like that. Anyone who makes her cry can fight me fr. You know what made me cry though- Shireen Baratheon. What the fuck was that. And Ser Davaos’ finding out and his whole “I loved that girl like she was my own”. BAWLED. Anyways, it might surprise you to know that her death was actually based on a very famous greek myth- the myth of Iphigenia. So that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Iphigenia’s story finds its beginnings in another myth entirely- the myth of Agamemnon and the Deer. Quick fun fact- the movie ‘Killing of A Sacred Deer’ is actually based loosely on this. The story goes that Agamemnon, out hunting one day, killed a deer belonging to the Goddess Artemis. This angered Artemis, not least because the deer was pregnant and Agamemnon’s little hunting accident killed both the mother and the baby.

Fast forward to some time later, Agamemnon launches a thousand ships to save his sister-in-law Helen from the Trojans at the behest of his brother Menelaus, and also the whole blood oath situation. The Spartans and the Mycenaeans make camp at the island of Aulis whilst they wait for the rest of the fleet to arrive, only to find that when they are ready to set sail once more, they cannot leave the island. There is not wind to push their ships, the air hot and heavy and remarkably still. This goes on for quite some time. Eventually Agamemnon consults the priest Calchas who tells him that the Gods (Artemis) are angry with him and demand a sacrifice. More specifically, the sacrifice of a virgin. This is also where some accounts differ- some claim that it could be any female virgin, some say that it had to be Agamemnon’s eldest daughter. In all honesty, I think the latter is probably more accurate because of the level of hesitation he shows before he makes his final decision. If he could sacrifice any virgin I don’t really think he would care.

Anyways, he obviously cant just write to his wife and say “hey babe can you please ship our eldest daughter over, I want to sacrifice her xoxo”. So he instead he comes out with an altogether more devious plan, and that is to tell his wife that the Prince Achilles wishes to marry Iphigenia before they sail for Troy. Both Iphigenia and Clytemnestra are of course overjoyed that she should marry ‘the best of the Greeks’ and she comes to Aulis where the army wait for her.

This is where it starts to break my heart a bit. On the morning of Iphigenia’s wedding day, Clytemnestra dresses her daughter and prepares her. She, of course, does not know that she is preparing her child for death. Her fathers men come to her tent and escort her and her mother to the alter. However, she never gets to say her vows because as soon as she steps onto the platform, they cut her throat and spill her blood as an offering to Artemis. Her mother is of course beside herself with shock and grief, but her husband does little to comfort her, telling her only that Artemis is appeased, and with the return of the wind he is leaving for Troy.

Euripides’ Iphigenia at Aulis, differs from this account and tells the story that on the morning of her supposed wedding, Iphigenia was aware of her fathers plan to sacrifice her and accepts with stoicism and all the bravery of a child put in an impossible position. He writes the following, heartbreaking, lines:

Iphigenia- “If only I could sing like Orpheus, father! Orpheus, who could charm even the heartless rocks into following him! If I could use such a voice and have everyone charmed, have them convinced to agree with me and follow me, then I would use that voice. But I have no such skill. The only voice I have, father, my only skill, is in my tears and, here, father, I’m giving them to you! I’m giving you my tears! I’m giving you all I have! She leans before him and embraces his knees Here, father, here is the body of a suppliant! Here is the body that your wife has given birth to. I wrap its limbs around your knees and beg you: Please father, do not cut off my life short. Let me enjoy the sweet light of day and do not force me to enter the world beneath the earth. I’m your first one, father! The first one to call you father, the first one you called daughter. Me, father! I was the first to play on your knees, the first one of your children to enjoy your love and the first one to give you a child’s love. Remember, father? You used to ask me, “I wonder, my darling, will I get to see you married one day, married and settled happily in your husband’s home, your life ever blossoming, making me proud of you?” And I’d touch your chin, my father, hang from your beard, father, like I’m doing now and say, “and what about you, father, will I get to see you, father, an old man, visiting me at my house, ready for me to repay you for your hard work in raising me?” No, you don’t remember these words, father. I do but you don’t! You’ve forgotten them and so, now, you want to kill me. Please, father! Please, in the name of Pelops and of Atreus who is your father, I beg you! Please don’t do it! And I beg you also for my mother’s sake, the woman who laboured to bring me to life, the woman who is being tortured even now. I beg you, father! What does my life have to do with the marriage of Paris and Helen father? Why has their marriage brought about my death, father? Agamemnon turns away. She continues despondently. Come, then, father, turn to me and give me a final kiss. A kiss to remember you by in the underworld, since my words have not convinced you. Agamemnon does not move. She goes over to her mother and takes baby Orestes in her arms. She swings him, sadly, gently back and forth and leans over him as she speaks to him What a weak little helper you are, my tiny brother! Won’t you cry with me, Orestes? Come on, won’t you beg your father not to kill your big sister? Come on, Orestes, even babies know when there’s trouble around! Ha! See, father? Orestes is begging you, too! Begging you by his silence. Do you not care about me any more? Spare my young life, father. Spare me! Here! Look here, father! Here are the two of us, one’s a baby, the other a grown up girl, a brother and a sister, both your children, begging you, by your beard, pleading with you… She turns and looks sadly around her, then up at the sun. That! Up there is my final argument. That light, this light all around us, will cut all other arguments to pieces. This light is the sweetest thing that can fill the eyes! The world beneath the earth is a world of nothing. Only fools would pray to go down there. I’d rather live a life full of misery than die a hero’s death!

If that doesn’t make you cry I don’t know what will. And then to top it off he follows it up 200 lines later this this tear jerker:

“C- What report shall I give to your sisters?

I-Do not dress them either in black garments.

C-Is there any word of love from you I should give the girls?

I-Bid them farewell; and make sure you bring up Orestes as a man!

C-You look at him for the last time- hold him tight!

I-(holding Orestes close): Darling boy, you helped you dear sister as much as you could!

…

I-Who will come to take me there before they drag me by the hair?

C-I will be at your side…

I-No, not you- that would not be right!

C-…holding on to your clothes!

I-Mother, oblige me in this: stay here! This is the nobler course for me and for you. Let one of my father’s attendants here escort to Artemis’ meadow where I shall be sacrificed.

(Iphigenia begins to move away from a crying Clytemnestra)

C-O my child, are you going?

I-Yes, and never shall I come back.

C-You will leave your mother?

I-Yes, as you see, we do not deserve this.

C-Wait- don’t abandon me!

I-I forbid you to shed tears. (C sinks to the ground)”.

In every version you read, however, sacrificing his daughter is not a choice that Agamemnon takes lightly. He is torn between sacrificing his daughter and angering his wife- but winning glory for the Greeks, or saving his daughter, but abandoning his men. As a father, he made the wrong choice, but as a king some would argue that he did what was expected of him.

I do like, however, in Euripides’ version the character of Achilles. He is adamant that he will not be privy to the murder of Iphigenia. He tries so very hard to save her and to offer comfort to Clytemnestra and genuinely I think that this might be one of the loveliest most favourable depictions of him.

This myth then gives way to part of the Oresteia trilogy and many many retellings of her Iphigenia’s story- every single one of which always make me want to cry. I can’t explain what it is- I know that the whole point of tragedy is that build up and release of emotion but no tragedy has every made me actually sad other than Iphigenia at Aulis.

Anyways, you can imagine my absolute horror when I watched S5 EP9 and saw Shireen tied to the alter, literally gave myself whiplash with how quickly I tried to look away from the screen.

I would say I hope you enjoyed reading about Iphigenia, but if you did you’re an absolute psycho! The two translations I used are from PoetryInTranlsation and Penguin’s 2005 edition “The Bacchae and Other Plays”. Hopefully, now that I’ve posted again I’ll try and be more regular with it and I hope you all have a lovely lovely week <33

~Z

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash Chapter 62

Chapter Highlights (but let’s be real all this chapter already is)

The Crochans did not scatter to the winds.

As one, the Thirteen and the Crochans flew to the southwest, toward the outer reaches of the Fangs. To another secret camp, since the location of the other was well and truly compromised. Farther from Terrasen, but closer to Morath, at least.

A small comfort, Dorian thought, when they found a secure place to camp for the night. The wyverns might have been able to keep going, but the Crochans on their brooms could not fly for so long. They'd flown until darkness had nearly blinded them all, landing only after the Shadows and Crochans had agreed on a secure place to stay.

Watches were set, both on the ground and in the sky. If the two surviving Matrons were to retaliate for their humiliating defeat, it would be now. The Crochans and Asterin had spent much of their time today laying misleading tracks, but only time would tell if they'd escaped.

The night was frigid enough that they took the time to erect tents, the wyverns huddling together against one of the rocky overhangs.

And though no fires would have been wiser, the cold threatened to be so lethal that Glennis had taken the sacred flame from the glass orb where it was held while traveling and ignited her fire.

Others had followed suit, and while glamours would be in place to hide the camp, the fires, from enemy eyes, Dorian couldn't entirely forget that the Ironteeth Matrons had found them regardless.

Sleep had almost dragged him under when a burst of cold slithered into the tent, then vanished. He knew who it was before she sat beside his bedroll, and when he opened his eyes, he found Manon with her knees drawn up, arms braced atop them.

She stared into the dimness of his tent, the space illumined with silvery light from the glowing stars on her brow.

"You don't have to wear it all the time," he said. "We're allowed to take them off."

Golden eyes slid toward him. "I've never seen you wear a crown."

"The past few months haven't provided much access to the royal collection." He sat up.

"And I hate wearing them anyway. They dig mercilessly into my head."

A hint of a smile. "This is not so heavy."

"Since it seems made of light itself, I'd imagine not." Though that crown would weigh heavily in other ways, he knew.

"So you're talking to me," she said, not bothering to segue gracefully.

"I talked to you before."

"Is it because I am now queen?"

"You were queen prior to today."

Her golden eyes narrowed, scanning him for the answer she sought. Dorian let her do it, and returned the favor. Her breathing was steady, her posture at ease for once.

"I thought it would be more satisfying. To see her run." Her grandmother. "When you killed your father, what did you feel?"

"Rage. Hate." He didn't balk from the truth in his words, the ugliness.

She chewed on her lower lip, no sign of those iron teeth. A rare, silent admission of doubt. "Do you think I should have killed her?"

"Some might say yes. But humiliating her like that," he said, considering, "might weaken her and the Ironteeth forces more than her death. Killing her might have rallied the Ironteeth against you."

"I killed the Yellowlegs Matron."

"You killed her, spared the Blueblood witch, and your grandmother fled. That's a demoralizing defeat. Had you killed them all, even killed just your grandmother and the Yellowlegs Matron, it could have turned their deaths into noble sacrifices on behalf of the Ironteeth Clans."

She nodded, her golden eyes settling on him again with that preternatural clarity and stillness. "I am sorry," she said. "For how I spoke when I learned of your plans to go to Morath."

He was stunned enough that he just blinked.

Stunned enough that humor was his only shield as he said, "Seems like that Crochan do-gooder behavior is rubbing off on you, Manon."

A half smile at that. "Mother help me if I ever become so dull."

But Dorian's amusement faded away. "I accept your apology." He held her gaze, letting her see the truth in it.

It seemed answer enough for her. Answer, and somehow the final clue to what she sought.

Her golden eyes guttered. "You're leaving," she breathed. "Tomorrow."

He didn't bother to lie. "Yes."

It was time. She had faced her grandmother, had challenged what she'd created. It was time for him to do the same. He didn't need Damaris's confirming warmth or the spirits of the dead to tell him that.

"How?"

"You witches have brooms and wyverns. I've learned to make my own wings."

For a few breaths, she said nothing. Then she lowered her knees, twisting to face him fully. "Morath is a death trap."

"It is."

"I—we cannot go with you."

"I know."

He could have sworn fear entered her eyes.

Yet she didn't rage at him, roar at him-didn't so much as snarl. She only asked, "You're not afraid to go alone?"

"Of course I'm afraid. Anyone in their right mind would be. But my task is more important than fear, I think."

Anger flickered over her face, her shoulders tensing.

Then it faded and was replaced by something he had seen only earlier today-that queen's face. Steady and wise, edged with sorrow and bright with clarity. Her eyes dipped to the bedroll, then lifted to meet his own. "And if I asked you to stay?"

The question also took him by surprise. He carefully thought through his answer. "I'd need a very convincing reason, I suppose.

Her fingers went to the buckles and buttons of her leathers, and began to loosen them.

"Because I don't want you to go," was all she said.

His heart thundered as she revealed inch after inch of bare, silken skin. Not a seductive removal of her clothing, but rather an offer laid bare.

Manon said softly, "We could make an alliance. Between Adarlan, and the Crochans. And any Ironteeth who might follow me."

It was her answer, he realized. To his request for a convincing reason to remain.

She took his hand, and interlaced their fingers.

It was more intimate than anything they'd shared, more vulnerable than she'd ever allowed herself to be. "An alliance," she said, throat bobbing, "between you and me."

Her golden eyes lifted to his, the offer gleaming there.

To marry. To unite their peoples in the strongest, most unbreakable of terms.

"You don't want that," he said with equal quiet. "You would never want to be shackled to any man like that."

He could see the truth there, in her beautiful face. That she agreed with him. But she shook her head, the starlight dancing on her hair. "The Crochans have not offered to fly to war. I have not yet dared ask them. But if I had the strength of Adarlan beside me, perhaps they might be convinced at last."

If they had not been convinced by today's triumph, then nothing would change their minds. Even their queen offering up the freedom she craved so badly.

That Manon would even consider it, though

...

Dorian twined a wave of her silver hair around his finger. For a heartbeat, he allowed himself to drink her in.

She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, his mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it.

But he could see the bars of the cage that would creep closer, tighter, every day. And either break her wholly, or turn her into something neither of them wished her to ever be.

"You would marry me, all so we could aid Terrasen in this war?"

"Aelin is willing to die to end this conflict. Why should she bear the brunt of sacrifice?"

And there it was, her answer, though he knew she didn't realize it.

Sacrifice.

Dorian's other hand went to the buttons of her pants, and freed them with a few, deft maneuvers. Revealing the long, thick scar across her abdomen.

Would he have shown the restraint that Manon did today, had he faced her grandmother?

Absolutely not.

"You were right," she said quietly. "I am afraid." Manon laid her hand over his. "I am afraid that you will go into Morath and return as something I do not know. Something I shall have to kill."

"I know." Those same fears haunted his steps.

Her fingers tightened on his, pressing harder. As if she were trying to imprint his hand upon the heart racing beneath. "Would you stay here, if we had this alliance between us?" He heard every word left unspoken.

So Dorian brushed his mouth against hers. Manon let out a small sound.

Dorian kissed her again, and her tongue met his, hungry and searching. Then her hands were plunging into his hair, both of them rising onto their knees to meet halfway.

Manon drew her hands from him to remove the glittering crown atop her head, but he halted her with a phantom touch. "Don't," he said, voice near-guttural. "Leave it on."

Her eyes turned to molten gold, going heavy-lidded, tipping her head back.

His mouth went dry at the beauty that threatened to undo him, the temptation that his every instinct roared to claim. Not the body, but what she had offered.

He almost said yes, then.

Was almost selfish enough, greedy enough for her, that he nearly said yes. Yes, he would take her as his queen. So he might never have to say farewell to this, so that this magnificent, fierce witch might remain by his side for all his days.

Manon reached for him, fingers digging into his shoulders, and Dorian rose over her, finding her mouth in a plundering kiss.

A shift of her hips, and he was buried, the heated silk of her enough to make him forget that they had a camp around them, or kingdoms to protect.

Stay. The word echoed in each breath.

Dorian gave Manon what she wanted. Gave himself what he wanted. Over and over and over.

As if this might last forever.

What was left to be said anyway?

She'd laid out what she wanted. Had spoken as much of the truth as she dared voice.

In its wake, a sated sort of clarity shone.

Such as she had not felt in a long, long time.

His sapphire eyes lingered on her face, and Manon turned toward him. Slowly removed her crown of stars and set it aside.

Then she drew up the blankets around them both.

He didn't so much as flinch as she scooted closer, into the solid muscle of his body.

No, Dorian only draped an arm over her, and pulled her tightly against him.

Manon was still listening to his breathing when she fell asleep, warm in his arms.

She awoke at dawn to a cold bed.

Manon took one look at the empty place where the king had been, at the lack of supplies and that ancient sword, and knew.

Dorian had gone to Morath. And had taken the two Wyrdkeys with him.

[kkoct-ik]

what are we thinking

(explanations / elaborations under the cut)

confidence: ★★★ = most, ☆☆☆ = least

★★☆ mew-chan: there's a popular theory about Gin's apparent significance that suggests any number of things are hidden in mew-chan. i dont feel strongly on one theory or another, but i think it's a solid idea

★★★ Sara does not win (the game): i think it would be poetic if in spite of her win rate / being favoured she refuses to win or otherwise destroys the game

★★★ one bad end: like the mindbreak / Q-taro escapes ending, i think it would be fun if there was a way to fail during the minigame segment

★★☆ Keiji gets decimated: he's overdue and if i don't get to see his mangled corpse i'll be very disappointed. i do not think he is surviving to the main game, and if he does, i think he will be the Sacrifice (there's a convincing argument about how this is the only card he has not had thus far)

★★★ Kai & Joe: this is a loose end i hope is tied up. i'm very invested in Joe's relevance and how suspicious / strange some of his behaviour in chapter 1 is

★☆☆ mishima's head / collar: Midori assumes his collar is how Keiji 'cheated' the russian roulette, so the game clearly hasn't forgotten about it. assuming he is actually dead, i speculate it will be used to cheat / cause issues at some point in 3-2, depending on who actually has it

★★★ Meister doppelgänger: Safalin's clue that floormasters die after meeting their doppelgänger is never used during 3-1's russian roulette. one version of Sara's father and Meister have the same sprites. if Mr. C is not Meister, he is his doppel. if Mr. C is Meister, Dummy!Mr. C is his doppel (see two Mr. Chidouins square)

★☆☆ hospital bed: this is a loose end im looking out for. i've seen some insane cope theories about it & i'm not huge on any in particular, but i would love to see it cleared up

★★★ BANGER music: this should have been the free space but i'm really looking forward to it

★☆☆ we cannot save the Dummies: sorry dummy fans. the game has made a point to make the cast come to terms with the fact that human lives are more important than dummy lives. i think this theme of the value of life will become relevant at least one more time

★★☆ Hades' descendants: Q-taro is an orphan, Reko/Alice & Shin/Kanna are siblings (ie. have one set of parents between them), Gin has a step-father, Sara may or may not be adopted; i think there is some link between the participants' parents and why they were sought out by ASU-NARO

★☆☆ Midori's doll body: it's still out there. where did it go. this is not an insane cope that we see Midori again, i kind of hope we don't, but his fixed dummy body is still in the equation

★★☆ ASU-NARO Gin: ties into the mew-chan theory, elaborates on it. i don't believe he's a liar, but i do think there are a lot of inconsistencies around him. also Miley mother theory is solid and we are definitely not all delusional

★★★ Shin revenge: Shin swears to kill all of us. i specify Keiji because he could realistically be killed (Shin has a soft spot for Gin, and we are the protagonist). i don't really think Shin will anybody, but i think he will be given the opportunity to. (that said if there is an ending where he loses his mind and kills us all i will not complain)

★★★ suicide: whether it's a noble one like Kai's, or a deranged one like Gashu's, i am almost certain there will be a suicide

★★☆ floormaster collars: hey it's the reason i made this bingo at all. i think every single floormaster being trapped by the game (bar Midori, but i'll get to that) is an insane reveal (not just Gashu; if you look at them, all of their necks are hidden from us exactly where a collar would be). i'd love to see a floormaster executed or have their lack of autonomy highlighted in some other way

★★☆ cast revival: i think this would be fucked up, and the technology exists. it also ties into the theme of the value of life, the theme of grief, et cetera

★★★ two Mr. Chidouins: this is my personal tinhat theory that combines the fact that Mr. Chidouin has two distinct sets of sprites, and the fact that the Mr. Chidouin Kai speaks to says he is not Sara's 'real father' (commonly interpreted as adoption, but it's possible this is because this Mr. Chidouin is a dummy). accordingly i think Meister-like Mr. Chidouin (that we see in the winner's room with Sara) is his real/human version

★★☆ memorandum author: i have no strong copes on who (Mr. C / Meister / anyone else), but chances are they will become very relevant as the purpose of the game is finally revealed, and i am assuming we will meet them in person (ie. that they are not long dead)

★★☆ massacre / slaughter ending: either a Sacrifice win or a 'contestant kills everybody in a brutal bloody way' bad end. i will not accept anything ambiguous; i'm looking for an ending where everyone is Dead

☆☆☆ vows & trials: i was going to specifically manifest Gin's first trial being revealed, but i've decided this is my cope square. i want to know about all of them

★★★ Keiji's vow: Mr. Policeman had a kid. "jou" pun. i firmly believe Joe is Mr. Policeman's kid and Keiji's vow was to atone for / get closure for his crime by meeting Mr. Policeman's kid. i hope it recontextualises Joe's initial suspicion of Keiji / attitudes towards police too

★★☆ three new characters: in my mind: Ms. Shortcake (we know of), the dummy version of Mr. Chidouin (previously only seen in Kai's flashback, but likely to become relevant), and a secret third thing. i know this square is a little cheap, but you never know

★★☆ Midori is a huge liar: Midori is at the Least not a traditional floormaster (not a dessert, openly antagonistic & violent towards participants, can remove his collar, was originally supposed to participate), so i speculate that he does not have to follow the floormaster's code, and therefore is able to lie. this boils down to the fact that i simply don't believe that Joe was a handicap, and am suspicious about what is being told to us about AI Sara as well

[bardic-tales]

OC-tober: Day Five: Re-Designed OC

Bianca Moore is a character that had the most change in terms of character development and character design. As she is the oldest OC I have, she changed as I matured in both age and talent. It's interesting to see how I changed as an author, too.

When she was originally created, Bianca was a human who was born on Gaia, the world of Final Fantasy 7. She was the daughter of a Shinra scientist, so she was born into the company and naturally followed in her mother's footsteps; her father, absent from her life. She would see the corruption, try to support Sephiroth through his experiments, and mourn for Gaia after the events of the Nibelheim Incident. Her design was blonde hair, blue eyes, and a white lab coat.

Now, Bianca is a fallen angel and the daughter of Asmodeus and Seraphine. She was born to be a living weapon: to end the Omniverse and rebuild it back into something better. This is a destiny her father often exploits, as he sees the End of the World prophecy, and one where Bianca ultimately rejects. Her mother would sacrifice herself to send Bianca into the future and womb of Seraphine's most faithful, Sarah. She spent her entire life thinking she was human until her father brutally attacks her to awaken both her demonic and celestial blood. She was on the run from a cult devoted to her father, has been sent to feudal Japan by her first husband to protect her from Asmodeus, and arrived on Gaia wounded via a cosmic portal when Sephiroth learned his origins.

After she is brutally experimented on, her dna altered with Jenova and S-cells which slumbered her angelic blood, and made an arduous trip from Nibelheim to North Crater with the help of Sephiroth through an Sephiroth clone called SC X, she appointed herself as a 'High Priestess of Jenova' in the crater and devotes herself to the downfall of the species who has always tortured her (humans) and helping Sephiroth realize his goal as being a god. She is bonded with him through a string that always connected them.

As for character design changes, she has blonde hair, blonde hair, and gold eyes in her angelic form. She has stiletto nails, fangs for her canines and molars, and a prehensile tongue. She will often wear white kimonos with black embroidery in Feudal Japan.

Once she falls from Grace, her appearance shifts once again. Her hair turns brown with purple highlights to it, indigo eyes, and black wings infused with indigo, to symbolize her infusion with Jenova cells. She wears smoky eyeshadow and black eyeliner with shimmery pink lip gloss.

She has a battle and every day attire. For her battle attire, she wears a shiny black trench coat, biker's vest, finger-less gloves, leather trousers, lace-up knee-high combat boots. Because she cannot use her angelic greatsword anymore due to falling from Grace, she will use a demonic tachi called Noctemaris. This is her father's sword that caused her injury before she came to Gaia. She pulls the blade part of the tachi from the dimension between space and time. Her color scheme is dark: blacks and dark grays.

For her every day attire, she typically wears a trench coat, soft sweaters, slacks, and fur-lined boots. She likes to pair this with mirrored sunglasses and gloves and mittens. Her color palette is white to light beige here. For both attires, she always wears a white ribbon. This ribbon is a gift that her love interest gave her right before the madness took him.

[feral-and-chaotic]

Percy Jackson Episode 4 Thoughts!!

Right. Slightly more coherent than before.

Plot:

- Very close to the book, tho I like the lean towards making the Echidna fight more suspenseful than it is in the musical or the book.

(Even if it is a shame to cut the Chimera/Chihuahua joke I think this is a great move away from undermining the tension with comedy in the way that Marvel does.

- Love the stuff with Annabeth and the cops. Her standing up to them is both poignant with current politics and does a great job to show her bravery and how out of touch with the mortal world she is, forgetting she's 12 because she's been in camp for so long.

- I'm really interested in the fact they are taking so long to set up the Grover backstory and Pan stuff. I like how much weight they are giving it.

- also congrats kids. You blew up a bus AND a train AND the gateway arch. I couldn't be prouder.

-also, (I may be wrong and correct me if I am) but I believe they changed Echidna's motivation from trying to push Percy to test his powers, to avenging some super pissed off gods. And I think that it tightens the story by doing so. It makes the gods unlikable and you can really stand and empathize with [Book spoiler] Luke's motivations.

Characterisations:

Grover:

Man are they going off with Grover. Similarly to being, cutting some of his comedy for meaningful moments is fantastic.

You really feel a depth to him which was maybe lacked in the musical and books. I adore how they are weaving in his bravery and levelhead too, it feels a tad more mature than with Percy and Annabeth and that makes absolute sense. He's done this before and boy can you feel how scared of messing up he is.

Also also. I adore how the writers have established a relationship between Grover and Annabeth as well as Grover and Percy. The books could never really elaborate on that because we have Percy's POV and so he'd miss that in places. But the show is doing great with my boi Grover!

Additionally, as an environmentalist myself, I'm happy they are weaving that in a way that feels organic. Great writing and acting choices all around especially with Aryan Simhadri who is killing it.

Annabeth:

Man does this episode sink it's teeth into her characterisation. I love how we are getting a thorough elaboration on her feelings to the Gods and Athena. And Oh boi is she the opposite to Luke. She craves her mother's admiration and... She's not seeing it. It's a great choice because it highlights how hands off the gods are and that the system NEEDS to change.

I also like how they tied that desperation for validation into her hubris. It's still pride her. But it's pride in her mother. And man, the pride with her plan feeding into her being self sacrificial reminds you so hard that they are all just kids.

Also, where would I be if I didn't mention how good the moments with Percy are. Him teasing her and getting a genuine laugh was beautiful. I love the chemistry for all of these actors.

Percy:

I love this idiot. He's so angry and scared and also funny. God, I love the nuance being brought to him. I love the genuine fear that he has facing the Chimera and being arrested by the cops. I also love how Walker Scobell sells the anger at the gods for implicating his friends in his actions to send Medusa's head. Great stuff.

Additionally, I love the moment on the bridge, this idiot (smart but brash) pulling a self sacrifice on the bridge feeds so well into his undying loyalty to a fault. Willing to trick his friends into letting him die, to save them is a very Percy thing. I also enjoy how they haven't made Percy stupid, whilst keeping Annabeth still more strategic than him, by having him basically just steal her plan.

Also the soft stuff in this episode fucking ruled. The train car joking, him cheering Annabeth up with a stupid voice. The little asides.

Overall, god I love these dumb kids. And this show has made me start rereading the books!!!! Am I hyperfixating again??! Never!!!

.

.

. Yes I am.

[alyjojo]

Family Ties 🤍 - July 2023 - Gemini

Overall energy: 8 Cups rev

“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem.” Apparently that’s going to keep being the thing in my head when someone is the problem. In this case, it’s you dear. Judgement hopped out of the deck like five times during the preshuffle, and I’m getting that it’s your judgement of your family that’s caused a lot of pain. I gotta say, everything I’ve pulled in this reading so far reads like one long guilt trip. I personally am not a fan of that whole tactic as a means of coercion, it’s manipulative af, and you showing up as Queen of Swords probably agree. That could be something you deal with regularly. But for Spirit to communicate from this angle, it could be showing you as kinda cold and ruthless…unaware of the effect you’ve had on these people, thus the messages of hurt, shock, and heartbreak are what’s needed to be said more than anything. Idk & I don’t judge you 🙏

For 8 Cups to be rev shows it was once upright, and every row so far highlights you having left the family behind. I don’t get why, or who did what, just what it did to everyone. You probably cut them off altogether and stayed away for some time. Whatever you were hoping to find never materialized, you waited around for some time, for nothing, and now feel insecure and…like you’ve got your tail between your legs, about coming back around. Having to be held accountable for this Death. You don’t regret leaving, you regret that it didn’t work out, which probably isn’t what you should be feeling. Spirit, and your family, want genuine remorse. You’ve made these people feel like you don’t care about them. I don’t get that exactly, but I do get a “holier than thou”, know it all sort of attitude, and an “out of sight, out of mind” personality. You don’t feel remorse because they’re not directly in front of you, or haven’t been. Emotional detachment the a gift & a curse of all of the air signs.

Mother: 5 Cups & Queen of Swords

5 Cups is heavily focused on all that’s been lost, not paying attention to what’s still here, 2 Cups with your father. But she’s lost you, and it’s absolutely devastated her, 10 Swords. Dad has similar feelings, and the love between them is genuine. Mom is still trying to heal from your sudden absence, maybe also some words that were said before this occurred. She only wants you to come around again, at least to talk with her, being disconnected from you is one of the saddest and most painful things she’s ever experienced.

Father: 2 Cups, The Hermit, 4 Wands

Dad is probably more of a practical kind of person, he seems like a “stereotypical” man, when things are emotionally rough, he puts more effort into his work and keeping busy. He’s happy with Mom and the home they’ve created together, but he feels lonely, a lot. He’s probably the strong & silent type, but just because he doesn’t say things out loud doesn’t mean he isn’t hurting over them. He also may have dealt with a very serious work injury, accident, or event and has been home bound because of that. If you know that, and haven’t come around to check up on him, it makes him sad. He also has 5 Cups, with The Tower. It’s hard for him to express these emotions, but with your Mom it seems much easier for her, and he just mirrors everything she feels. He misses you.

Siblings: Knight of Cups & 7 Wands

I get one, and they’re a really sweet kind of person, the kind to give you the shirt off of their back if you needed it. They’re mad at you, probably because they’re sad too, but it comes out as mad. They’re also really smart, logical, balanced, and fair. They think what you did is bullshit, reckless, impulsive, and immature. It’s stupid you don’t talk to them at least - in their mind. They’ve got 7 Wands & Justice, they know they’re right 💯 They are someone willing to sacrifice for those they love, and are very kind normally. They don’t know why they can do it and you can’t. They could be Libra or have a dominant placement there. It will probably take some effort to heal this connection because their sadness & love are masked with anger & defensiveness. These are probably the hardest ones to overcome. Are they upset? Absolutely. Do they love you? Yes, that’s why they’re mad at you.

Grandparents: The Fool & The Hierophant

Either they got married very young, fast, and impulsively, and have just stood the test of time…or that’s why you ran off. Impulsively got married? Probably didn’t invite anyone, no one was involved, never spoke to anyone again? They’re also angry & disappointed. Specifically about the wedding if there was one, they would’ve liked to celebrate you, meet your person, etc. They’re old fashioned, you should’ve gotten gifts, had a party, family traditions and celebrations mean a lot to them. If you didn’t get married in a church, or have religious elements involved, that could be an issue with them too. I heard “Jewish”, that may or may not apply, moreso a specific custom or religious ceremony perhaps that’s dear to their heart. And maybe yours too, this does feel impulsive. Whether you did or you didn’t actually get married, then you probably ran off with some person, and you didn’t include them, call or come over. Their point of view is similar to everyone else’s. One day you’re here all of the time. The next, who and where is Gemini? They’re gone. Do they care?

Spiritual Ancestors: 4 Pentacles & 8 Swords

This message has a spicy 🥵 bite, idk if you have an ancestor that is sharp as a tack in their speech, cutting right to the point. I kind of get that they’re like you. Or whoever you were always told you were most like I suppose. You hold on tightly to your position on things, you’re stubborn, narrow-minded and full of bologna, is what I’m getting. You keep yourself trapped in a situation of non communication because of…nothing. You pretend to be blindfolded but really you tied it yourself, self sabotage. People really want you to open up and communicate. What Gemini doesn’t?? You could have some dominant Taurus or fixed placements with all of this stubbornness I’m getting on your side.

6 Pentacles is equal give and take, they want an exchange from you in the form of a conversation! I’m getting clear message of you pretending to act confused, avoidant, like you don’t know, yada yada excuses, and the message here is showing if you can be Queen of Swords, truth, communication, chatty and fair with most people, then you can also “cut the crap” and have conversations & connections your family. Whew 😅 damn. Even Spirit is defensive with you Gem. Even if your point of view is I married xyz in this way because of abc, sure but say that. I’m strongly getting no one here did anything wrong, it’s just differing perspectives, and they’re all looking at you like whaaat gives? I’m sorry Gem, this message is dragging your butt across sharp rocks fr, probably to prepare you for what to expect, because you’re being told to head back towards your family. They can’t know your side until you tell them, and you may want to avoid it, but you’ve got a whole group of people that just love you more than they judge you & they just want you around 💙 Overwhelm in the Oracle makes me laugh. No shit right? I’m overwhelmed just doing this reading 😆 Good luck!

Oracle:

Overwhelm

The hard work we love can leave us feeling burdened, drained, and burnt out, among others problems.

Reflection

Time to focus, balance, reflect, and guide yourself past stumbling blocks to take the right actions.

[cosmicjoke]

Ahh, bad-ass Thorfinn reappears!  Reading the first five chapters of “War in the Baltic”, and I take back all my stated fears of “Vinland Saga” delving into the realm on easy solutions.  I worried after the culmination of the confrontation with Canute that all of Thorfinn’s encounters would be similarly, easily resolved, but boy was I wrong.  I should have known better, given the pedigree of story telling from Yukimura through the vast majority of this series. 

Hild’s presence with Thorfinn and his party continues to be a wonderful parallel, with her tagging along and, unconsciously I think, she’s helped already multiple times to protect Throfinn’s life, the same way Thorfinn did for Askeladd, under the belief that they were doing so because it had to be them who delivered the killing blow.  We again see Thorfinn in Askeladd’s own position, with Hild snapping at him that she doesn’t take orders from him, the same way Thorfinn often snapped at Askeladd.  Thorfinn, though, unlike Askeladd, views himself as beholden to Hild and is willing to give up his life to her without struggle once he’s made amends for his past killing.

The highlight of these chapters is definitely just watching Thorfinn kick ass though.  It’s been a long time since we really got to see him unload his abilities on anyone, and I was happy to see he still has some of his old fight and spirit left in him.  That’s a part of him, his ability and talent to fight, an essential part, I would say, and while I understand he’s felt a need for self-sacrifice for the past, five years, born largely from his sense of guilt and remorse, I really love to see him regain some of his old spark and start to value his life more, to fight and defend himself more, and not just stand there and let himself be killed, or beaten.  I like seeing Thorfinn regain some self-respect.  That’s growth too.  To forgive himself enough to fight for himself.  And though I don’t think he’s quite there yet, to the point of valuing his own life enough to fight for it (his continued statement that he’ll let Hild kill him once he’s made amends proof of that), I hope to see him get there.  He’s a good person, and doesn’t deserve to die, or even be mistreated.  Of course, Thorfinn was really fighting here to protect the villagers, which was amazing to see too, and amazing character development.  To see this kid who went from aiding the raid’s of Askeladd’s band on villages, to now saving villages which are under attack, is pretty incredible.  The little girl calling Thorfinn a “good guy” and cheering him on to save them all was incredibly heartwarming.

This brings up another parallel, this one with his father, Thors.  Even as Thorfinn comes out into the open and abandons his escape plans from the Jomsvikings to save the villagers from them, he only has to do so in the first place because his presence on the island is what drew them there.  Just like Thor’s attempt to escape his past as a warrior brought him to Iceland, which eventually lead Floki to the island, and put the lives of the villagers there under threat, along with everything that transpired after, with Thorfinn himself being swept up into a life of battle and violence, it’s now Thorfinn who, in his attempt to escape his life as a warrior, is being followed and pursued by that past.  That it’s Floki again who is chasing after him and not allowing him the life of peace he seeks makes the parallel with Thors all the greater.  The scene with the little girl running up to Thorfinn and trying to give him the seashell necklace, only for her mother to pull her away and cower in fear before Thorfinn, was heartbreaking.  Thorfinn, just like his father, is a genuinely good and kind man, but his life of violence continues to haunt him and continually tries to pull him back, again, the same as Thors. 

I’m super excited to continue on now, and see what takes place.  With the request from the two warriors from Vagn’s group to join them in overthrowing Flokie, and them insisting to Thorfinn that he can’t live among the sheep, because he has wolf’s blood running through his veins, and with that seemingly being true, as everywhere he goes, violence and confrontation follows after him, on top of the looming possibility of Thorfinn finding out that Floki was, ultimately, the one really responsible for Thor’s death, things are obviously far from seeing any easy solutions.  I’m super stoked! 

[slitheringghost]

I think this post is missing the point that it's specifically Lily that Voldemort is terrified of, not James, because Lily is the woman who vanquished him. Voldemort in fact speaks of this very extensively in this scene:

“You stand, Harry Potter, upon the remains of my late father,” he hissed softly. “A Muggle and a fool . . . very like your dear mother. But they both had their uses, did they not? Your mother died to defend you as a child . . . and I killed my father, and see how useful he has proved himself, in death. . . .” “You all know that on the night I lost my powers and my body, I tried to kill him. His mother died in the attempt to save him — and unwittingly provided him with a protection I admit I had not foreseen. . . . I could not touch the boy.” “I miscalculated, my friends, I admit it. My curse was deflected by the woman’s foolish sacrifice, and it rebounded upon myself. Aaah . . . pain beyond pain, my friends; nothing could have prepared me for it. I was ripped from my body, I was less than spirit, less than the meanest ghost . . . ” “I wanted the blood of the one who had stripped me of power thirteen years ago . . . for the lingering protection his mother once gave him would then reside in my veins too. . . ." “Harry Potter escaped me by a lucky chance. And I am now going to prove my power by killing him, here and now, in front of you all, when there is no Dumbledore to help him, and no mother to die for him.”

Voldemort was blown up and nearly killed by Lily in an extremely painful way, was nothing but a powerless wraith for 13 years because of it, she's already protected Harry once from beyond the grave in PS, and then when Voldemort has finally regained a body and tries to kill Harry again, suddenly Lily's ghost inexplicably comes out of his wand? Of course he's terrified. Voldemort says "there's no mother to die for him" this time... and then said mother appears.

This is reiterated in the fact that this was the original version of Priori Incantatem, before the editors changed it, and so it's truer to JKR's intention:

“Your mother’s coming…” he said quietly. “She wants to see you… it will be all right… hold on…” And she came… first her head, then her body… a young woman with long hair, the smoky, shadowy form of Lily Potter blossomed from the end of Voldemort’s wand, fell to the ground, and straightened like her husband. She walked close to Harry, looking down at him, and she spoke in the same distant, echoing voice as the others, but quietly, so that Voldemort, his face now livid with fear as his victims prowled around him, could not hear... “When the connection is broken, we will linger for only moments... but we will give you time... you must get to the Portkey, it will return you to Hogwarts... do you understand, Harry?”

Harry described how the figures that had emerged from the wand had prowled the edges of the golden web, how Voldemort had seemed to fear them, how the shadow of Harry’s mother had told him what to do, how Cedric’s had made its final request.

There's also a lot of important symbolism around Lily specifically in this scene - I've elaborated on that here (section 2.1) and here.

The significance of the Voldemort - Lily connection is highlighted in several additional ways in this scene, including the fact that Voldemort brings up Lily in the middle of when he says “Who will be brave enough to return when they feel it?” and “Listen to me, reliving family history. My true family returns”… and then Lily's ghost returns. Because Voldemort and Lily are portrayed as familial, as brother and sister, exactly the way Harry and Voldemort are "brothers" - you can read about this more here.

“And he came… first his head, then his body, tall and untidy-haired like Harry, the smoky shadowy form of James Potter blossomed from the end of Voldemort’s wand, fell to the ground, and straightened like his wife. He walked close to Harry, looking down at him, and spoke in the same distant, echoing voice as the others, but quietly, so that Voldemort, his face now livid with fear as his victims prowled around him, could not hear…”

-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Priori Incantatem, pg. 667

I need to talk about this quote. We never talk about this enough. Prior to this, Voldemort only shows shock. But after James and Lily Potter arrive, Voldemort shows fear. The only wizard Voldemort is truly known to fear is Albus Dumbledore, one of the greatest wizards ever to live, yet the arrival of the Potters strikes fear in him.

I think this speaks to how powerful the Potters truly were. Not only were they able to defy him three times and live, while most wizards couldn’t manage to do it once, even after he killed them, Voldemort is still wary of James and Lily Potter. There’s a reason that he asked both James and Lily to join him, despite being young and blood-traitor/Muggle-born. There’s a reason Voldemort had Peter spying for over a year before he made his move. There’s a reason that Voldemort specifically chose the moment where they were the most relaxed, and therefore the most vulnerable, to attack. There’s a reason he did not dally and torture the Potters, though he probably would have got a sense of satisfaction out of it, with how much they’d defied him. 

Because Voldemort believed, in my opinion, that James and Lily Potter could pose a threat to him in a fair fight. If they’d had their wands or a chance to prepare, or even a few more seconds to come up with a plan of escape, it would have been a very different battle in Godric’s Hollow. Voldemort did not just fear Harry Potter, ‘the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord,’ Voldemort feared his parents, and what they would do to keep him safe.

[lifestyleliv]

What Cancer Taught Me, Why I Don’t Trust Politicians, and How Chickens Saved My Sanity

Hey there,

It's Liv again.

If you haven’t checked out my first blog post, you should so you can get to know me a bit better! If you have, thank you so much and welcome back.

Over this past weekend I spent some time at Mayo Hospital for my FINAL round of ICE chemotherapy and immunotherapy. I got to go home on Monday and will stay home through the New Year. You can’t imagine how excited I am to be home, in my own bed, for the holidays! On January 8th, my husband Dan and I will move to Rochester for the 5-6 week stem cell transplant process. It’s honestly a bit daunting, but for the first time in a while, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with all this cancer crap, you know?

Despite the chemo treatments, I’ve been feeling pretty good overall. Some of my biggest side effects have been fatigue, nausea, and, worst of all, drinks tasting like salt…YUCK! The ICE chemotherapy also took all of my hair, and while I’m still adjusting to being bald, I got a wig that looks like “me.” I think the hardest part, though, has been all the nights away from home and, of course, away from my fur babies, Gus and Fiona (see picture for maximum cuteness).

What Have I Learned From Cancer?

I’ve been asked a lot lately, “So, what have you learned from cancer?” At first that question kind of pissed me off. Here’s why: when my mom passed away four years ago, I felt like I already learned all of the “important life lessons” you’re supposed to when something tragic happens: Live life to the fullest, never take a day for granted, always tell your loved ones you love them because you never know when it’ll be the last time…blah, blah, BLAH! 

When I got diagnosed with cancer, I initially viewed it as a punishment. Did I not sacrifice enough for my mom when she was battling dementia? Was I somehow the villain in my family? Did I not work hard enough? Did I sabotage my own health? The questions, anger, and self-loathing circled in my mind for a long time. And then someone has the nerve to ask me what “lessons” cancer has taught me…

Reflecting on that question now, the answer is clear. After my mom passed and several family members became estranged (more on that another day), I spent a lot of time holding pity parties for myself.  I’d tell myself things like, “No one loves me,” or “I’m the only girl left in my family and I have no one,” or even “I’m so lonely because there aren’t any women in my life to love and support me.” These thoughts bled into other areas of my life, like visualizing motherhood. I fantasized about how my relationship with my mom might have looked if she had lived to see me become a mom. I mourned the fact that she would never see me as a mother with children of my own, nor be able to support me through that motherhood journey. 

Now, on top of all that grief, I get cancer?! But here’s the beautiful thing that emerged from this shitty diagnosis - I am not alone. The lesson cancer has taught me is that I’m fiercely loved. There are strong women in my life that love and support me, and family doesn’t need to mean ‘by blood.’ Cancer has highlighted my support system in ways I couldn’t have imagined, and it’s made me feel beyond lucky, loved, and cared for. 

When I put together a group text to update my family and friends about my treatment, I was shocked at how long the list was - my inner circle. That was when I realized: I am not alone. While cancer has taught me about love and support, the world around us often feels chaotic and uncertain—especially when it comes to leadership and policies that directly affect our daily lives.

Rising Grocery Prices Under the Trump Administration: Why I Don’t Care

As many of you have probably heard, Trump gave an interview with Time Magazine this past week and walked back campaign promises, including the one about lowering grocery prices (shocking, right?). When asked whether his tariffs on China, Canada, and Mexico would raise grocery prices, he said, and I quote, “I can’t guarantee anything. I can’t guarantee tomorrow.” Later, he added, “It’s hard to bring things down once they’re up” (Time Magazine, 2024). 

Here’s what I have to say about that: Well…well…well…I TOLD YOU SO! This buffoon isn’t even inaugurated yet and he’s already backing off his promises. It’s honestly embarrassing how many Americans were fooled by him while the rest of the world is just left laughing at us. And for anyone who thought Project 2025 wasn’t his endgame? You’re delusional. Who writes a 900+ page manifesto and then just says, “Just kidding, this isn’t the plan!”?  Look at who he’s appointing to his cabinet: Linda McMahone, Howard Lutnick, Scott Bessent, and Dr. Oz. These people have a combined net worth of over $340 billion. You really thought he wasn’t going to appoint his rich friends? News flash: none of them care about the price of groceries or gas because I’m pretty sure none of them have ever had to fill their own tanks or shop for their own food. So, to conclude: NONE of them, especially Donald J. Trump, care about YOU!

If you are worried about rising prices, I hear you. If you’re not worried, you probably voted for the orange dipshit and still have faith he’ll make good on his campaign promises. Best of luck and warmest regards with that one (insert eye-roll here). 

For those of us with good sense, though, here’s my plan…

That’s right, homesteading. Now, I know what you may be thinking: “Liv, we’re feminists. Isn’t homesteading, ‘going back to the kitchen,’ a little counterproductive to us fighting the good fight?” And to that, I say: If you look at it that way, sure, homesteading would go against everything I stand for. Have no fear, I am a feminist. Let me explain how I can f*uck the patriarchy, be a homesteading feminist queen, and how you can be one, too. 

In my Homesteading Feminist Queen Green Thumb Era

As I mentioned in my previous blog post, the food here in America is toxic. It’s packed with hormones, pesticides, chemicals, and preservatives. Even the fresh produce section is a little suspicious. Plus, a lot of our foods, like avocados, are imported. Now, under Trump’s tariffs, not only do I have to deal with these chemically-induced foods that are linked to obesity, heart disease, and cancer, but now I have to pay more for them?! No thanks.

That is why my “f*uck the patriarchy plan” is to rely on the grocery store as minimally as possible. I want to opt out of paying these higher consumer prices and, more importantly, I don’t want to rely on what the government provides. For the next four years, I want nothing to do with the government except to oppose everything they do. 

One of the ways I’m planning for opposition is implementing self-sufficiency methods and opting out of a broken system. In my upcoming blog posts, I’ll dive into my homesteading hobby. Since everyone’s freaking out about the price of eggs, let’s start with my flock of chickens. I’ll talk about the benefits of raising your own chicks, caring for them, and the costs and maintenance involved.

Our Flock

We have eight chickens on a .35 acre lot. One of them is pictured above: Stevie Chicks (we love a good pun). Our compost bin rarely gets food scraps anymore because the chickens will eat anything! I now understand what it feels like to be “chased by chickens,” because they constantly beg for scraps. They live in a coop and outdoor run we bought on Amazon and then improved and embellished to give them more shade and space. Here’s what a similar starter coop looks like: Amazon Chicken Coop

Here’s “Cluckingham Palace” in all its glory! To build up our coop, our neighbors and I used scrap materials and bought a few lumber posts from Menards and some extra chicken wire. We dug trenches and buried the frame and wire underground to prevent pests from tunneling under the fencing. We filled the run with sand to prevent them from standing in mud when it rains.

We got our flock as hatched chicks from Runnings. They needed bedding, chick feed, water feeders, a rubbermaid tote, and a heat lamp. They lived indoors (or in the garage) for the first few months under the heat lamp. Once they were old enough to live outdoors, we let them free-range during the day, and they tucked themselves in at night. Here are the supplies we used while the chicks were young:

Chick Starter Feed 50 lb bag

Chick Feeder

Chick Water Feeder

Heat Lamp

Fluff Bedding

Tips for Transitioning Your Chicks to The Coop

When the chickens got older, we upgraded our equipment to accommodate their needs in the coop. Here is what we use now:

Heated Water Feeder - especially if you live in the Midwest or other places where water freezes over, you’ll want a heated water feeder. You can unplug it and use it normally during the warmer months. 

30 lb Chicken Feeder - chickens eat a ton and often, so buying a larger feeder that can hold a 30 lbs bag of food that they can’t easily tip over is key. 

Adult Chicken Feed 40 lb bag - we have found using crumbled food rather than pellets works best.

(Note: none of the links in this blog are sponsored items).

Once our flock reached full maturity, they were each producing an egg per day. Now, I know what you’re thinking: eight eggs per day? What will I do with all those eggs? Here’s a few pro tips: Farm fresh eggs make great gifts! You could also sell them to friends and neighbors for less than grocery store prices. If you do not wash your eggs, they can sit on the counter for days, even weeks, without going bad! Only refrigerate eggs if you’ve washed them, as that shortens their shelf life. If you’re ever unsure if an egg is bad, try the float test.

Egg Float Test 

Fill a bowl with cold water.

Gently place the egg into the water.

Observe the egg’s position.

If the egg sinks to the bottom and lies flat, the egg is fresh.

If the egg sinks to the bottom, but stands on one end, the egg is a few weeks old, but edible.

If you’re thinking about starting your own flock, I’ll be sharing more details in upcoming posts. Fresh eggs are a game-changer boasting vibrant yellow yolks and unbeatable flavor!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on Trump’s cabinet picks, rising grocery prices, or your chicken coop adventures! Like, comment, and share below.

Until next time,

Liv

Mom’s Crockpot Chili

By my mom, Elizabeth Wicklund

When the colder months approach, it’s time to pull out the crockpot, and the first meal I think of is my mom’s chili - a total comfort food classic! You’ll have to forgive me, as my mom never measured ingredients or wrote her recipes down. This recipe comes straight from memory and the heart. It was one of the first meals she taught me to make before I left for college, ensuring I wouldn’t have to survive on instant ramen alone.

Ingredients

(1) tbsp olive oil

(1) yellow or white onion

(5) cloves of garlic

(1 lb) lean ground beef (sub. turkey)

(2) 14.5 oz cans of stewed diced tomatoes

(2) 16 oz cans of chili beans (do not drain)

(1) 10 oz can of Rotel (diced tomatoes with green chilis)

Seasonings (to taste):

Chili powder

Onion powder

Garlic powder

Paprika

Cumin

Salt and pepper to taste

Optional Topping Choices

Fritos corn chips

Shredded cheese

Sour cream

Green onion

Whatever your heart desires!

Supplies

Crockpot

Mixing bowl

Sauté pan

Cutting board

Knife

Strainer /grease drainer

Wooden spoon

Garlic mincer

Can opener

Directions:

Season the Meat: In a large mixing bowl, add your ground beef (or turkey). Generously season with chili powder, onion powder, garlic powder, paprika, cumin, salt, and pepper. Adjust quantities to suit your spice preference. For extra heat, add more chili powder.

Sauté Aromatics & Meat: Heat olive oil in a sauté pan over medium-high heat. Add the diced onion and minced garlic. Sauté until softened and fragrant, about 2-3 minutes. Add the seasoned meat and cook until browned. Drain excess grease.

Assemble the Crockpot: Transfer the cooked meat, onions, and garlic mixture into the crockpot. Add the stewed diced tomatoes (with their juice), chili beans (do NOT drain), and the can of Rotel. 

Adjust Seasonings: Stir everything together and taste. Add more seasoning if desired. Remember, the flavors will deepen as the chili cooks.

Cook Time: Cover your crockpot and set to low for 6-8 hours or high for 4-6 hours. Stir occasionally if you can, but it’s not necessary.

Serve: Ladle the chili into bowls and top with your favorite toppings - Fritos, shredded cheese, sour cream, and green onions are all great choices.

Enjoy: Cozy up with a warm bowl of chili and maybe a cinnamon roll or crescent roll (the great debate) on the side and enjoy!