#but stop using excuses to be a selfish and bad person

[loserlvrss]

I JUST WANNA START A 𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 BOY! ───── SICK OF YOU BEING POLITE, BOY 𓂃. 보이넥스트도어이한

req?oui , , it was a harmless prank, what could go wrong?

𝐅.reader one shot ⓘ suggestive & toxic 1406THOU 四月 ꒰ BUT SOMETIMES ( i miss you )

You don’t know why you were doing this. Even as you applied the black, green and blue makeup, you couldn’t think of a valid reason. Yet, here you were, sat on your couch scrolling through your phone, just awaiting the opportunity to prank your sweet, unsuspecting boyfriend.

Maybe he’d gotten too comfortable in your relationship. Hell, you used whatever excuse to try and justify it. But, the truth is, you wanted to see if he had it in him to get mad at you. He was so damn peaceful all the time—you loved that about him, really—nonetheless, deep down, your heart raced with the thought; the anticipation when he’d finally catch a glimpse of your artwork that he’d deem someone else’s.

This was fun.

You knew it’d work. You’ve never let Donghyun purposefully leave marks on your skin, not because it didn’t feel good to have him kiss you but, simply because you’ve always found them tacky and a hassle to cover up. You’d wasted so much makeup in the past trying to do so, so whenever he’d come close to leaving purple patches, you’d tell him to stop. He’d even tried to bargain by saying he'd just leave them in places only he could see but, you still refused.

Especially if you couldn’t return the favor.

You knew this was an evil way to push his buttons, that you oh-so-desperately wanted to see pushed. It was selfish, really, however at this moment in time the plan was already set into action. You wanted to start a fight, just to see if he could.

He’s never gotten mad at you. He’s never yelled at you. He’s never dared put a hand on you. And, that was a dream but, somewhere deep down, you knew it was also just as boring as it was desirable. You wanted him to yell at you, tell you what to do—at least once—manhandle you, throw you around a bit, pull your hair, grip your skin...anything.

You wanted so much, and maybe this wasn’t the right way to propose it but, it didn’t matter anymore as his voice broke through the silenced air.

“What’s that?”

“What’s what?” You asked, acting oblivious as you scrolled through Twitter and Instagram in turn.

He shrugged, and you don’t know if it was the fact that he seemingly didn’t care, or if it was that maybe he just brushed it under the rug as anything else, that began to piss you off.

Nonetheless, you decided you were in it for the long run. After all, you wanted to see if he’d start the fight. It was game you wouldn't lose.

And, throughout the rest of the afternoon you’d catch Donghyun staring in your direction, shifting his gaze when you’d make eye-contact. He kept a calm demeanor, never asking again what the purple marks on your neck were. He’d even hugged you before he left for practice, getting all up close and personal with the artwork.

You were finding it hard to believe he hadn’t actually noticed.

Maybe he was gathering his thoughts. Maybe he was trying to decided why you didn’t smell like another man—why he knew you wouldn’t do that to him. Maybe as much as his buttons were pushed, this was it for his stemmed anger. Maybe dance practice was his way to relieve the stress you caused from time-to-time. Maybe the cool, calm and collected Donghyun was the only version of your otherwise, smiley, boyfriend.

Maybe you were beginning to feel bad because you had no idea the feelings he had towards this prank. Did it upset him? You wouldn’t be none-the-wiser to it if it had. He was good at shielding emotions, and maybe that’s where you needed to draw the line. Maybe that’s where your conversation should’ve began, instead of whatever the Hell TikTok had inspired you to do.

You kept looking at the clock on your home screen, counting down the minutes until he’d come back to you. And, just as you had decided to end the prank, opting for a civil—adult-ish—confession of wrong-doings, a text illuminated your dark screen.

It read: We need to talk.

Yet, you couldn’t decipher the hidden meaning. Of course, you knew what it was about, that’s the only thing that’s been wrong throughout the last few months between you two. What else could it be? And why, now that you were finally getting what you wanted, didn’t it feel good?

You didn’t answer him, partially because you didn’t know what to say; it was a prank. I just wanted to see if you’d get mad at me. I’m so bored of this. Nothing seemed correct, or frankly, truthful.

You also knew that he wasn’t far. He wouldn’t have texted you otherwise, just to torture you—though it would’ve been deserved. So, you waited by the door for your boyfriend to get back, the thought of washing away the eyeshadow long gone.

Then, it finally opened with the pattern of your key code. The air became thick and you found it hard to swallow with a lump in your throat. Were you sorry? yes. Did you feel bad for being immature? yes. Was a tiny part of you still curious to see how this would play out?

Yes.

"Y/n," Was the first, and only thing he muttered for a couple of excruciatingly long minutes. You watched anxiously as he put his bag down, eyed him as he took his shoes off, and almost burst when he ran a hand through his hair. Maybe Donghyun was able to torture you, even if unintended.

His eyes finally met yours but then they drifted to your neck, and further to your collarbone. He knew. He's known since the first question left his lips hours and hours ago.

"What's that?" His arms snaked between each other, and you found it wrong to think it was hot but, you very much did.

Almost like deja vu, the same feeling crept up from down within you. "What's what?" You reenacted.

Although, this time, he didn't let it go.

Donghyun approached you quickly, too fast to get away before you were sandwiched between the plaster and his body.

His hands were slow with movements. Those oh-so-stupid-fucking-hands that had you, literally, at his fingertips. One forcing your head by your jaw to expose your neck, while the other brushed away the hair that disguised the marks from his view.

You fronted being indifferent but, truth be told, if he wasn't holding you up your knees would have buckled already, leaving you as a mess on the floor in front of him.

"You must think I don't know you," He voiced, holding eye-contact as he pushed his thumb between your lips, gathering just enough saliva to then press the digit to your neck and swipe. And, it smudged with enough force, despite being labeled as waterproof. "Tell me why you felt the need to paint these on. I couldn't think of one good reason all day, princess."

And, the nickname he always called you—innocently and less than—had your heart in absolute shambles; the anticipation was just as good as if he'd raised his voice, you thought.

Maybe your vanilla-scented boyfriend had finally gotten the hint that you wanted more, despite going about it in a less than thoughtful way. And, maybe you realized that you didn't hate that he was always nice, no you loved that about him but, sometimes it was okay if he wanted to be a little bit meaner with you. After all, he could always say my...anything he wanted, and that would still mean that he saw you as his forever only.

"I-I," You couldn't think straight when he attached his lips over the previously (fakely) marked spots. His breath was hot, lips gentle then firm as he sucked against the spots he knew you'd rarely let him have his way with. "I—uh, fuck. Leehan,"

His voice was low against the shell of your ear, sending a shiver down your spine and a whimper up your throat, "If you wanted something, you could've just asked me, baby. I'd give you anything."

The eyes that you've grown comfortable with always seemed to be there despite the firm placement he had you in. You knew he loved you more than anything, so you knew his words were true. And, his demeanor broke when he kissed your lips, almost giving you whiplash.

His palms laid flat against your cheeks, thumbs rubbing sweetly, "If you wanted everyone to know that you're mine, let me do it myself."

© loserlvrss 2024 / 25. 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱. @kstrucknet @whyilovewhales-pdf @lynnimini @gluion @greentulip @mystarsohee @seomisaho @jihyokat @atzlordz @riqomi | fill out form to be added. 

[kquil]

POLY MARAUDERS | HEROES IN TATTOOS PART 5

05 : DRUNK AND CIGARETTE SMOKE

SUM : It’s been a few weeks and James makes a reappearance in your life, Remus too — they’ve fallen into bad habits. 

G. : modern au ; muggle au ; tattoo artist james potter ; piercer remus lupin ; remus smokes ; drunk james ; reader is sad ; this is a little sad chapter ; fergus is an amazing, lovable manager ; i’m horrible at writing the scottish accent! ; james is an adorable drunk ; james’ car is sexy and red ; remiss has eye bags and smells of cigarette smoke ; uh oh ; it’ll get better soon! 

LENGTH : 2.8k

← PREV. : 04 | DISAPPEAR

You stare in disbelief at the notice that stares back at you mockingly from behind the glass door of the ‘Marauders Tattoo Parlour’. 

‘NOTICE’ it said in bold red sharpie, right above a handwritten message that you recognise as Remus’ neat penmanship, ‘due to personal reasons, Prongs, Padfoot and I (Moony) will be keeping the parlour closed until further notice. We kindly ask that you remain patient as private matters are being sorted through and resolved. We are still open for online and phone consultations to discuss designs and potential future appointments. Kindest Regards, The Marauders’. Beneath the polite and brief explanation of current circumstances was a business email address and phone number as well as working times for phone calls. 

The weeks following your discovery of the boys’ true relationship, you rarely ever passed their parlour. A little over three weeks has passed now and you’ve finally been able to walk past their studio doors close enough to read the notice. You’re frozen in place as dread and worry cultivates shards of sharpened ice to grow within you. Freezing up your senses, freezing up your mind and freezing up limbs. Yet, your heart is racing like never before, your blood pounding against your ears like a drummer gone mad. 

The feeling that settled in your stomach wasn’t a pleasant one, especially when you felt completely responsible for the boys’ sudden hiatus in business. They had often talked to you about how much the parlour meant to them, how it was their best investment and remains their biggest source of opportunity — an opportunity to help people express themselves. It’s a form of freedom that many have been deprived of (themselves included) and they were honoured to now be able to provide that same freedom to others. For them to completely close up shop like this was completely bizarre. 

How long have they been closed for?

You bite your lip and will yourself to move your feet, the ice in your limbs breaking uncomfortably, shattering into a million knives of ice, shooting pins and needles up your arms and legs as if your blood had been frozen up too. As you walk away, you slip your phone back into your pocket, where your hands also remain. 

While contemplating what could have happened to your favourite tattooists and piercer, you made sure to save a picture of their business phone number onto your photos. 

You were never able to call their business number. And you had many excuses lined up to absolve your cowardly behaviour. The main one being that it was their business number, it wasn’t meant to be used for a conversation between friends. Were you even still friends at this point? The thought made you shiver and stole the appetite right from your stomach. It was a greedy little thing cowardice, regret too. They’ve stolen many things from you, your appetite was their favourite thing to purloin, motivation another, happiness as well. Nasty, selfish and greedy thieves. But you weren’t brave enough to confront them and make them stop. And that, alone, makes you their willing accomplice — so who’s really to blame? 

It didn’t help that through this entire ordeal, you’ve realised that none of the boys have exchanged phone numbers with you. To say that you were bitter was an understatement. If they never gave you their number, why would they want you ringing them in the first place? 

…maybe they didn’t have a reason to? You couldn’t remember a single time after the day you first brought them that homemade ‘thank you’ lunch where you hadn’t seen them on a regular basis. And now that you were used to seeing them almost daily, your life has since been bleeding of colour and vibrance. Days are dull and monotonous, it’s hard to motivate yourself to do pretty much anything, let alone your job.

“Yer’ve been sighin’ so much these days, I’m startin’ to see wrinkles forming’ on yer cute lil’ face lass,” Furgus comments, nudging your hip with his own as he passes by you behind the counter. 

Flustered, you scramble to get back to work with a quick apology, evidence of your embarrassment heating up your cheeks as you do so, “I’m so sorry Gus,”

With hearty laugh, the burly Scottish man pats you on the back and whispers some reassuring words, “Yer’ve got nothin’ ta worry about lass, I jus’ wan’ed ta see if you were al’ight is all,”

“I’m okay,” you smile grateful for his care only to be met with suspicious eyes and a deep, bearded frown. 

“Don’t grow a habit o’ lyin’ ta me lass, it won’t do ya any good,” his words make more heat rise to your cheeks but you reassure him as best as you can in between taking orders and serving drinks. It was no use however, Fergus saw you as his own daughter, he knew you like the back of his hand and you know that he had his suspicions of your odd behaviour lately — all derived from a sadness he didn’t like you wearing. Thankfully, he decided to leave you alone with your sorrow and regret and focused back on managing the pub. Tonight was pretty average, you saw the regulars and greeted them with a friendly smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes; if any of them noticed, they never said a thing about it to you. Thank god. 

It seemed like it would be another regular night until you caught sight of a familiar figure in the corner of your eye. You had just gotten back from your break when you spot James at a far table, nursing a pint and buried under a sheet of suffocating misery all on his lonesome. 

“James?” you breathed in disbelief with a wide-eyed stare directed right at him. 

“You know that guy?” Bonnie, your coworker, asks in a whisper into your ear and you had no choice but to nod your head in confirmation — you’ve already outed yourself, there was no point in lying, “well he’s been drinkin’ himself to death for the past hour or so, what’s gotten into him? D’ya know?”

“No…” you’re a liar. 

“Well ya be’er find out or else imma have ta kick the poor bastard outta ‘ere,” Fergus comments, his arms folded over his large chest and his brows knitted together in disapproval. 

“May I—…?” you begin to ask softly, sending a curious look towards Fergus who meets your eyes with a small smile and a wink. 

“Consider yerself off fer da night,” with a smile, you thank him and take a breath before making your way over to the miserable tattooist. 

“Angel!” James smiles happily at the sight of you, his drunken state adding an adorable dopiness to his already charming grin, “It’s you~” he coos and wraps his arms around your middle to bury his face into your stomach when you were close enough, “I missed you so much, angel~” he sighs, his voice muffled by your clothes as he refuses to detach himself from you, “even if this is just another dream…” you barely hear him and you almost curse yourself from being able to because his words make your heart drop to your stomach. 

“James,” you ask softly, “can you please get up?” 

“Why?” he shuffles to press his chin into your lower belly and stare up at you with those sweet hazel eyes of his. The sneaky bastard, he knows how weak at the knees you become from his simple stare. You’ve never told him so and often put in the effort to not show it but you know, he knows. 

“Because you need to go home,” he gives an incredulous look at your reasoning and he’s adorable doing so, even in his drunken state. 

“Why would I need to do that when you’re right here?” he slurs and hiccups, your heart pounding erratically at his words.  

“James please—”

“No!”

“James—”

“‘m not going home! I wanna stay here with you,” he presses his face into your stomach again and sobs into your clothes, “you’re gonna disappear again,” he sobs miserably, “I don’t want that…” 

“Please just let me call you a taxi James?” he doesn’t respond, pressing his face further into your stomach as you comb your fingers through his dark hair, you touch gentle and comforting, coaxing him into some compliance, “remind me of your address again and I’ll call you a taxi, okay?”

“NO!” 

You suppress a defeated sigh. 

It takes several minutes of coaxing until you’re finally able to take his phone from him. He refuses to let you call him a taxi and you weren’t going to force him to walk home alone in his drunken state so you’re going to have to do the one thing you can think of that’ll guarantee his safe return home. Not that you’ll enjoy it because it means confrontation. 

“Can you tell me your passcode, please, James?” you ask in a gentle whisper, only to him, “I need to do something very important on your phone,”

With a large smile he recites the digits, “22nd of the 6th, 17,” the way he says it makes your raise a brow. Sensing your curiosity, James answers your silent question, “is the day Moony, Pads and I became official,” he giggles adorably to himself as you smile somewhat sadly — another reminder that you should stay away. You don’t say anything to prompt him further and, instead, type in the code before looking through his contacts. It takes you a moment but you’re eventually pressing call and waiting patiently for Remus to pick up.

“…James?” Remus’ familiar, kind voice speaks tiredly through the phone and you don’t know whether to breath a sigh of relief or worry, “Hello?”

It takes you a moment but you finally will yourself to speak, “Hey, um, Remus?” 

“…Dove?” he’s in complete disbelief and it’s evident in his voice, “Is that really you?”

“uh…yeah,” you chirp sheepishly and Remus is all forms of elated but his excitement dwindles quickly when he realises how you’re able to call him. 

“Why do you have James’ phone?” you were right to call him, knowing that he was preceptive, reasonable and easy to talk to even with the tension in the air. Patiently, you explain the situation, never taking your fingers away from James’ hair as he practically purrs into your form, adoring the physical contact and muttering to himself happily. It’s especially loveable like this, considering that it’s him being dopey and giggly and not anyone else.

“Oh…” Remus sighs, clearly disappointed, “I’m so sorry, darling, I’ll get him right away,” 

“It’s no trouble, Rem,” it was hard not to cringe when the familiar nickname easily rolls off your tongue. As if nothing happened — oh how you wish for such a reality!

“Just tell me where you are and I’ll be right over,” you don’t know if you’re just imagining it but there’s a considerable shift in his voice, he sounds much softer after hearing his nickname easily fall from your lips. 

“We’re at the Boar and Elephant pub on Chapel Road,” 

“Alright, I’ll be there soon,” with a click, he was gone and you were left to keep James satisfied until he got there. It wasn’t an overly tough job; James seemed perfectly content nuzzling into your stomach with his arms hugging you in place as your fingers massage his scalp and gently groom his hair. He’s like a puppy, eager to receive affectionate cuddles and pets. If he had a tail, he’d be wagging it like crazy and you giggle to yourself at the mental image it conjures up. 

“I missed that…” James mutters, maybe to himself but it wasn’t clear.

“I’m sorry?”

“I miss the sound of you giggling,” you don’t know what to say but he continues, going off on a tangent, “it’s so pretty, you’re so pretty. It’s like the sound of a cute little bell ringing…so pretty— pretty pretty pretty!” you can’t lie to yourself, he’s absolutely precious, “I miss you so much angel, why did you go away? I don’t want you away, I want you with me, and with Remus and with Sirius too…” he murmurs something into your stomach that you weren’t able to pick up but don’t press him further on the matter, fearing that your heart might just about burst if you do. You can’t afford to hope for such a fantasy with them when it could never become a reality. 

It just wasn’t possible…

“Not fair!”James whines, making grabby hands at you as Remus, with the force of a gentle giant, manoeuvres him into the back seat of a red Jaguar XJR. Dealing with a defiant baby was a struggle so dealing with a giant, beefy baby like James Potter was like trying to control a hurricane. But Remus had a magic touch and arguably had more of a silver tongue than Sirius did so he made it look like a walk in the park. It was astounding, “I wanna be with my angel!” James sobs as Remus closes the door on him, putting a stop to James’ needy cries. 

“She’s not yours, she’s no one’s,” was Remus’ response even though he had already closed the door, James unable to hear him and the hint of dismay coherent in his tired voice, “thank you for looking after him, Dove, you’re always too kind,”

“N-no, don’t worry about it,” he smiles down at you, silence filling up the space between your two lonely figures under the amber lamplight. He doesn’t seem to mind the hush in conversation but knowing that his eyes were fixed on you was unnerving, “so! Is that your car?” you ask, desperate for a change in conversation; your restless fiddling making your intentions obvious but Remus keeps to himself. 

“No, no, it’s not mine,” he answers with a short chuckle, “this is James’ car,”

“Oh…” you hum to yourself thoughtfully, eyes carefully examining the body and model of the car, “I see,” it looks like a car James would have, you think to yourself. There was more silence until Remus finally brings himself to commence your farewells. 

“Well I suppose I should head off, I don’t want to take up too much of your time,” your heart stutters, almost to a stop, at his words, even more so when you see him hesitate upon leaning down. A victim to your own habits, you find yourself closing your eyes and awaiting his gentle kiss goodbye against your temple.

…But it never comes.

“Goodbye then,” he calls over his shoulder, and rounds the car to get to the driver’s seat. 

“—Do you smoke?” you suddenly ask, in some part desperate to extend your interaction with each other and other parts curious of the lingering cigarette smoke you smell on his clothes, masking his usually comforting fragrance. It’s strong enough that you were able to catch it from your formal amount of distance with each other and it struck you as odd. You had never seen him smoke before. 

Remus laughs a brief and strained sound as he looks at you from over the hood of the car, did he always have such deep eye-bags? “Not usually,” he sends you a sheepish smile once you’re finally able to meet his eyes, “but I’ve recently taken to it again,“ he sees worry and grief fill your eyes and hurries to correct himself, ”—But don’t worry, Dove,” his features are gentle and kind, warm and… forgiving, “I’m okay,” 

The world slows as you watch him bend his head to sit in the drivers seat. It’s been too long. For you, at least. This can’t continue. It scares you to think about where this may go if you leave it to late. It’s only been three weeks! If this is the result…you dread to think about what would happen if things went on for longer than that. James is drinking himself to death. Remus is smoking cigarettes. What about Sirius? Your stomach twists uncomfortably, painfully, your heart too. 

“No! You’re not!” you shout, tears of anger welling up in your eyes as Remus stops and looks over at you once again, his breath hitching when he sees your eyes glistening with tears, “you’re not okay…” 

“Dove—”

“I’m coming by tomorrow,” you announce, “at lunch,” this was a commitment you’re making, a commitment to him, to them. Even if you’re heartbroken, that doesn’t give you the right to be a bad friend. You brave a watery smile, “I’ll make your favourites…so you better be there!”

→ NEXT : 06 | SELFISH DESIRES

A/N : i’m so sooo sorry for my depiction of the scottish accent, i really tried my best, please don’t hate me! if you have any ideas of how i could make it better, please say so, i’d really appreciate it. Also, i know that this isn’t completely fluff but we’re getting there, you’ll have to wait and see in the next chapter! 

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[seriousbrat]

how can lily be a good person if she married a bully?

I'm going to break this down because it does legitimately seem to be an issue for so many people. I received quite a few asks about this a few days ago so I'm just going to address it generally here. Apologies for the length of this, I tried to cover everything I could think of. Let's get two things out of the way first:

Firstly, if you truly believe James was an abuser, and you're seriously asking how a woman could ever marry an abusive man, this is indicative of a fundamental lack of understanding about how abuse works. This is victim-blaming rhetoric. Abusers are predatory, manipulative, and often extremely charming, and they have a specific methodology for ensnaring their victims. I highly recommend Lundy Bancroft's book Why Does He Do That for further reading on how abuse works. The reality is that women marry abusive men all the time, and it doesn't make them bad people. If you believe otherwise we simply have nothing to talk about here.

Second, the question of whether or not James ACTUALLY changed his behaviour is irrelevant here, so I'm not going to directly address it either way. The main thing is that Lily BELIEVED that he had changed, whether or not he actually did, and we know this from Harry's conversation with Remus and Sirius. We also know she wasn't aware of the full extent of the bullying, as she didn't know the details about the prank.

For the purposes of this I'm going to adopt the perspective that James never changed, had 0 character development, and was secretly a terrible person the whole time. To be clear this isn't what I believe-- but I think it's helpful to start from a similar place.

Onto the main points:

An overly forgiving nature can be a flaw, but it doesn't make someone a bad person.

Nor does it make them selfish. Even if I concede that James was irredeemably evil as a person, the fact that Lily believed him to be better than he was, even if she was wrong, makes her at worst naive, not selfish. In fact, I'd argue that it's a sign of empathising with someone too much, which is sort of the opposite of selfishness. We know that Lily had an overly-forgiving nature, because she demonstrates that with Severus when she's willing to overlook his associations with the worst people of all time. And as we know from the fact that her friends were openly critical of it, and that she suffered as a result of it, her friendship with Sev was hardly 'convenient' for her. That she forgave him and overlooked his behaviour, and defended him, despite the fact that it was actively inconvenient for her, indicates empathy (and probably too much of it) not selfishness. Being overly forgiving is an established character trait of Lily's, as she tells us she "made excuses for [Sev] for years." Making excuses for someone you love is a flaw, but not one necessarily rooted in selfishness. Again, it was actively inconvenient for Lily to make excuses for Sev. It's also a very human flaw, not one that makes her a bad person-- especially when you consider that Lily's capacity for forgiveness had its limits, as she demonstrated with Snape.

To forgive is an act of compassion... it's not done because people deserve it, it's done because they need it.

anyway with that buffy quote out of the way, lets move on

Lily owes Snape nothing.

I'm sure people will disagree, but, objectively, she just doesn't. They are not friends at this point. He has demonstrated consistently that he doesn't have enough consideration for her to stop rubbing shoulders with people who literally want to murder her, including a boy who attacked her housemate. So why is Lily expected to take into account his feelings and his history with James? Which leads right into:

It's a massive double-standard for Lily to be blamed for marrying James when Snape isn't afforded the same for associating with Death Eaters.

I mean, think what you want, but to me being a mass murderer intent on exterminating an entire subset of the population (talking about Voldemort and other DEs here, not Snape) is like, maybe, a tiny bit worse than being a bully in school. But what do I know. Snape willingly joined up with such people, knowing perfectly well what they wanted to do to Lily, the woman he loved, and everyone like her. If Lily's choice in husband makes her a selfish person, then by your own logic Snape is completely irredeemable and you should probably delete your blog about how misunderstood and babygirl he is.

Sometimes people marry or befriend terrible people.

Similar to the first point, lack of judgement is a flaw but not one that directly indicates selfishness. Again, remember, Lily believed James to have changed. She believed, whether or not she was wrong, that redemption is possible. It's extremely common for women to date and marry terrible men, unfortunately, and to be blinded to their flaws. There are many possible reasons for this. I guess you can argue that the desire to be loved is inherently selfish, but that still wouldn't make Lily notably selfish at all, rather just a normal human. Plenty of people have had the experience of dating someone who is terrible or being friends with someone who is terrible at some point in their lives, and it doesn't automatically make them terrible themselves. People make mistakes and have poor judgment occasionally. Her actions in SWM suggest she would not have tolerated nor validated any cruelty from James towards others, had she been aware of it. Anyway, once again if you're holding Lily responsible for James's actions you need to also hold Snape responsible for the actions of his buddies. If it's selfish for Lily to associate with a bully (who she believed to have reformed) it's straight up devoid of any humanity whatsoever for Snape to KNOWINGLY associate with people like Mulciber, Voldemort, and Bellatrix. I don't actually believe this btw, I'm just following the logic through.

Furthermore, it's completely unfair to blame Lily for, in particular, the past actions of her husband.

As we clearly see in SWM, she did NOT tolerate his behaviour during the years before they started dating. James's behaviour is simply not Lily's responsibility, and neither is Snape's. It's not her job to fix them nor pay for their mistakes, nor should she have to investigate and tally up all their past wrongdoings when making her own choices. If James was actively being a menace and Lily was just watching going 'teehee' I'd understand this more, but again, she was NOT aware. Based on her behaviour in SWM, this would be out of character for Lily.

Someone having a moral stance you personally disagree with doesn't automatically make them a bad person.

If your moral stance is that James's past actions are completely unforgivable, and you could not personally date someone who did what he did, no matter how he evolved as a person, that's perfectly fine. As I've established, Lily was not aware of any continuing wrongdoing, nor would she have validated or supported it had she been aware. Lily's belief was that the person she was currently dating was a good person. She believed in redemption and second chances. If you personally do not believe in redemption or second chances, I'd question why you even like Snape, but ultimately that's your prerogative. However, believing otherwise doesn't make Lily a bad person nor selfish, even if you personally disagree or think she was wrong. People are allowed to be mistaken.

Snape was probably less relevant to their lives than you think.

Like to be quite honest, they were fighting a war and priorities had shifted, as they often do in adulthood. Lily ended her friendship with Sev, and after Hogwarts James and Lily almost certainly had no association with him whatsoever. Is Lily expected to continually self-flagellate over Snape for the rest of her life? Is she expected to take him into account in every decision she makes, forever? Believe it or not James and Lily existed separately to Snape, rather than as extensions of his character. They moved on. Snape didn't, that's what makes him beautiful-- and yes there's a reason why Snape couldn't move on, but, again, that is not Lily's responsibility. It seems reasonable to me that, particularly given the extreme nature of her circumstances, Lily would take into account first and foremost the actions she observed from James in the present, rather than what he did in the past. See above re: Lily owes Snape nothing.

Being selfless, kind, or a good person doesn't make one perfect.

When I say Lily was selfless, I do NOT mean that she was flawless. If this is your takeaway I worry for you. Also, enough about the Virgin Mary lol. Anyway, humans are complex, and selfless people are capable of selfishness on occasion. Everyone is. A certain amount of selfishness is not only normal, it can be a good thing and necessary for protecting yourself. When Lily ended her friendship with Sev, it was something she was doing for herself, so in the most technical sense (and it's still a huge stretch) it can be viewed as selfish. Nobody is or should be 100% selfless all the time. So even were I to concede that she was selfish in marrying James (which I don't) it doesn't preclude her being a selfless person in general.

Being selfless, kind, or a good person doesn't make a female character 'unrealistic.'

What even is this argument, honestly. Like do you just not believe in the existence of good women irl? Suspicious. I would gently suggest that if you find it unrealistic (or boring) for a woman to be a good person, that's maybe something you should take a closer look at. If your automatic assumption about a woman is that she must have married a man for his money, I would also interrogate that belief.

idk she was a teenage girl, pls develop some empathy

once you come down from your podium in the unholy tribunal, it might be worth considering female characters (and women in general) as human, and not just avatars who simply react to the emotional turmoil of men. At absolute worst you could assume that she was tricked by James (which I still disagree with, but it's a slightly more generous reading) or was blind and naive. All of which are more understandable than, for some reason, assuming she was a conniving bitch who wanted to hurt Snape and selfishly marry into wealth. Ultimately her decision to marry James probably had nothing to do with Snape at all. She was 21 when she died. Bad judgment is common at that age, and it's not necessarily a product of selfishness at all. Look, I'd understand this whole thing more if everyone was in their 30s. But is it not the teenage girl experience of all time to date an asshole? Do you have no empathy for that situation? Like I said, I'm arguing this based on the idea that James was completely irredeemable; would an abuser not abuse his girlfriend too? Would someone who is evil and cruel in all respects not also display cruelty to his wife? Can you not summon up an ounce of empathy for a 17 year old who might have thought, as many young girls do, 'I can fix him?'

To conclude, I think that the idea that Lily marrying a bully makes her a bad person is just rooted in lack of empathy for her as a character. Despite spending hours dissecting every last thought process a man might have had, there's no attempt at all to try and understand Lily's motives, rather they're considered exclusively from the perspective of Snape's emotions. This is unfair.

I don't doubt that it hurt Snape's feelings for Lily to date and marry James. But Snape's feelings are no longer her concern. She owes him nothing. Sev called his best friend a slur publicly and joined an organisation that wanted to murder her, with no respect for her feelings at all. They are no longer friends, and he has no right whatsoever to expect her to consider his own emotional needs anymore, and her choices no longer have anything to do with him. Nor should they have.

Whether or not you think it was a mistake for Lily to marry James, that's Lily's problem. Not Snape's. If you truly believe James was a monster, logically it's Lily you should be feeling sorry for. The fact that there's no empathy for her to be found, and that people revert so quickly to the Top 100 Misogyny Classic of 'she must be a gold digger' speaks for itself.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶

i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)

have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖

i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...

i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned

mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭

i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔

i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends

i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about

people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled

in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol

the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭

its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭

mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)

i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.

its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!

she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!

she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"

she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)

she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.

he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.

THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.

she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7

but again, those are the consequences of HER actions

her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭

their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"

its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!

you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)

everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.

obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.

the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"

she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!

just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.

im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!

im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.

i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!

i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process

talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol

i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭

its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.

all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.

i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.

also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!

thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!

[professional-rat-eater]

i think marius might be the only character ever where, if you talk abt the horrible stuff hes done in canon, youll get ppl telling u to get it out of the main tag even though his monstrocity is. like. canon. and in the books

WARNING: Severe Marius slander ahead. I mean it. Just stop reading here if you're going to argue (again.) It's just exhausting for everyone involved, though genuine conversation is always welcome.

_______________

Right???? Imagine a fan of Armand telling you not to post about what he did to Claudia in his tag. It's a pretty significant part of his arc. Or Lestat dropping Louis in the show, or Claudia's serial killing, or Louis's neglect of Claudia. That would all be pretty strange.

And you also get called performative or a virtue signaller for discussing his most notable contribution to the Vampire Chronicles canon (grooming Armand which has a domino effect for every choice Armand makes after that point, especially regarding his personal relationships.) Interesting to know there are those who think calling a pedophile a pedophile is performative. Is this just an extension of the "it's not that deep" mentality that pollutes the way so many interact with the media they consume nowadays or is it something else?

Because it is that deep. Personal feelings, positive or negative, towards Marius aside. That is what he is. That is objectively what he is. It doesn't matter if it was only Armand, it doesn't matter if he never did it again and it doesn't change just because other characters have also done bad things. This isn't even a comment on whether it was wrong or not, though it obviously was horrific. It is an entirely neutral statement. That is what he is. It is inarguable.

There are fans of every character who downplay what their favourites do, I suppose because they don't understand the genre of what they're watching/reading, but it is undeniable that the characters who remained white or have yet to be cast (and so are still perceived as white due to the canon of the books) have a significantly higher number of people making excuses for them.

Personally, I cannot understand why Marius is the character people are riding this hard for. On top of being a child predator, he's also exceedingly arrogant, seems to have no regard for what he did to Armand beyond what is performative, he's delusional and entitled and arrogant and selfish and immature.

But above all, perhaps what is his worst crime as a fictional character is being profoundly uninteresting. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt in previous posts but he is just boring. He's a racist relic of the past who never evolved past his backwards period-appropriate colonial views. That is why he found a boy who comes from the region we would now know as Ukraine, 'educated' him, dressed him up in pretty outfits and broke him down into pieces just to put the pieces back together in a more agreeable form. You could remove all the SA and that would still be true about him. That aspect of their relationship just really drives the point home. Perhaps some research into the historical mistreatment and perception of Eastern Europeans and how that intersects with colonialism and how this concept is only rendered more profound by Assad's casting would serve these people well.

Then, when Armand reacts like all abused children do instead of being his maker's passive pretty little doll, Marius gives up on him and is content to let a cult destroy his mind even further than it already had been for hundreds of years, completely abandoning him to their torture. A true romance for the ages (sarcasm.)

Marius's abusive tendencies and the way in which they are different to other characters are the most interesting thing about him, and we can't even talk about it candidly without having people who read the absolute horror that was The Vampire Armand as a regular romance telling us off for making them feel bad about a character they chose to post publicly about loving. I'll reiterate again that you cannot willfully misinterpret a piece of media to such an extreme and then be sensitive when you see accounts that differ to your own. Have some courage in your convictions, for God's sake. No one rational and reasonable thinks someone is a bad person for liking a fictional character, but don't come on public social media and start policing people for what they think. Everyone inevitably gets their feelings hurt on social media. It's like the wild west on here. It is unrealistic to expect otherwise.

It's frustrating to me personally, I suppose, because there are so many people like Marius, fictional and otherwise. He's not special in any regard. He took a traumatised boy and tried to tame him and making him 'civilised'. It's a tale as old as fucking time. I'm sorry for the Marius defenders who find this discourse boring but you will need to get used to it because it's only going to get worse when season 3 airs and the writers continue to do what they are already doing, which is portraying Marius accurately. I apologise for everyone who will see that ancient white colonial racist buy the little boy from Delhi and destroy everything that remains of him and get annoyed that we aren't moving past that part and filling up their ao3 tag blindly with fluff.

I expect this attitude is going to change when they introduce Marius formally to the show, or at least it will be drowned out more which will be a relief. The writers know what he is and they're already showing it. They had no issue showing Lestat, Louis and Armand for exactly what they are, so I'm not sure why anyone would be convinced that Marius would be any different.

So sorry anon. This was such a long and rambling response. You're absolutely spot on and it is endlessly frustrating.

[cynthiav06]

A big part of the fandom doesn't deserve to have Percy as a protagonist because of how they treat him and mischaracterize them to make their own favorite characters "better", more sympathetic or more tragic. Can they stop blaming Percy for Bianca's death? No offense to her stans but what was Percy to do when SHE was the one who stole from a fucking junkyard where they were specifically warned not to touch/take anything? Plus isn't she the one who basically abandoned her brother and joined the Huntresses? Can they stop acting as if Percy is stupid when he is actually better at coming up with strategies where no one gets hurts or killed *cough*unlike a certain blonde*cough*? Can they stop excusing Annabeth for being such a shitty person to Percy and anyone interested in him romantically or platonically? Can they fucking understand that her "cute nickname" to her boyfriend "Seaweed brain" is actually an insult and not a cutesy little token of love? Can they understand that judo flipping him, punching/hitting/etc him and liking to make him anxious is what typical toxic and abusive partners do? I don't care that she was abused and neglected as a child, having been abused is an explanation never an excuse. Percy was also abused by his stepdad and yet he doesn't act like her. Also another thing (and this one might be heavily controversial but) Sally Jackson is a loving mom, she tried her best for her kid but she is not a good mom, she was selfish in her love and got herself and her kid stuck with an abusive bastard for years despite the fact that she had safer options. At this point I feel like we didn't even read the same books or that these people didn't even read the series they just watch youtube and tiktok videos that are mostly filled with misinformation and headcanons.

I know I am extremely late in my response but hopefully not 'late to your own funeral' level of late. It was partly due to health problems and back to back exams I had and partly due to my procrastination habits. Which is why now that I am considerably free, I am trying to answer all the asks in my inbox.

I absolutely agree with most of the things you have said. I myself am extremely tired of repeating the same things over and over again to the fandom but I am under no delusions that any posts debunking biased takes, character assassination headcanons and absolutely baseless assumptions will actually stop anything or even change anyone's opinions.

These posts are just for people with similar mindset to interact with something that finally meets with their pov and aren't led to feeling isolated in the fandom due to monopoly canon ships and other such topics have in fandom posts. Sort of to create a safe space cause I myself was spared of the worst of the fandom's wrath due to there already being an established anti percabeth community, small but reliable and supportive. I even had to the fortune of never receiving a single death threat, at least in this fandom, and I want to make sure that any new mutuals I have get the same experience.

For the whole Percy being blamed for no absolute reason and for completely made-up reasons for the Nico-Bianca situation, I have already made a post here.

Percy being more strategic than Annabeth was something I have stated in multiple posts but mostly here. And Rick himself did give us proof, too, both about Percy getting better grades than Annabeth and how Seaweed brain is, in fact, an insult.

I really believe that Percy and Annabeth's lack of nuanced emotional interactions, contrasting goals, and really conflicting fatal flaws all make up for a doomed relationship scenario. Percy finds himself unable to share about any of his trauma with Annabeth, and he also seems very insecure about their relationship and believes he can't live up to Annabeth's expectations or is being a bad boyfriend. Annabeth doesn't seem to be able to pick up on any of this, and without proper conversation, they are both chafing. Not to mention, Annabeth's toxic habits are not something Percy will ever address, and eventually, they will both just end up resenting each other. I had an idea about Percabeth break up and why and how it would occur, and I have posted about it here, and that's all I really want to say on that matter.

As for the Sally Jackson bit, I am actually planning on a Sally centric post. I have read so many takes on her and Percy's relationship and I am in the process of making it. Will definitely tag you in that.

Though what I will say is that, while Sally's love for Percy was very selfish, I think it was realistically rooted in her own trauma, the two way abandonment issues between both her and Percy and a mother's desperation.

Because for all the trauma Percy suffered under Gabe, you have to remember Sally suffered twice as much. She sent Percy off to boarding schools to spare him most of Gabe's influence while she suffered both physical and mental abuse throughout the six years she was with Gabe. The fact that Sally was willing put herself and Percy through the trauma of Gabe's abuse should highlight just how desperate she was to keep Percy with herself. And how despite all of Gabe's abuse he would face at home if he stayed, Percy resented Sally for sending him away to boarding school.

There's such an intricate codependency and deep-rooted trauma, maybe even generational trauma there. I really want to explore all of that cause I think Sally had very simple motivations and put herself and Percy through such complex methods to try and achieve those motivations permanently.

So yeah, there will be a post on that soon. I will tag you in that one, and there's another one I have to get to just before that. It's a Frank and Percy centric post, and I really loved that idea and I think I have most of my thoughts ready for both these posts. So expect them by the end of the week for sure.

[nachtai-ish]

A Baby? (Ouch part 2)

a quasi part two to this. just a drabble yall. it has no rhyme or reason.

trigger warnings: use condoms, doctor talks, endometriosis talk, bad writing lol

plot: i suggest female obgyns personally.

                You were sitting on top of the examination table. The stirrups had been placed to the side a while ago and now you were just waiting. For the inevitable.

“Well…you know, endometriosis…there no cure for it. So our options are birth control  or you get pregnant.”

It was an age old conversation. How do you want to stop your horrible periods every month? Some kind of hormonal patch, shot, weird twig thing or a loving bundle of responsibility.

“I think I will take the IUD.” You said tapping your stomach.

The doctor paused for a moment, only sound in the room was the click clacking of his keyboard.

A breath. “You know, you’re 30.”

“I know.”

“You have one ovary.”

“I know.”

“…Don’t get me wrong. You have plenty of eggs so it functions well…but you’re not getting younger kid.” He turned to you then. He was being sincere; you could tell but… “Doesn’t your mom want grandchildren.”

“She has a grandchild. She’s fine.”

He smiled, “I’m sure she wants your grandchild. …We can do the IUD but you’ll also need to come back for…”

                “And then he told me, ‘You should stop being selfish. Think about having that kid.’ Like what the fuck.” You said, your feet kicked up over Terry’s lap container of general chicken in one hand, chop sticks in the other.

“No he didn’t. What did you say?”

“…Give me the IUD.”

“That’s it? You should have cursed his ass out. I told you should have let me come, I would have told his old ass where to go with his old ass doctoring-

“Yeah, and like they say that babies don’t even really help with endo. It’s just like a patch. So now what, I have a fucking baby and debilitating pain during periods. No thank you.”

“Right. How could he suggest this? What kind of doctor is he? What’s his name again? I’m gonna leave a bad review.”

“And I mean.” You sat up tucking your legs up underneath you. “Who am I going to have a baby with anyway?”

Silence.

You looked over at Terry, and he was looking at the TV, but he wasn’t really looking at it. Not really. He just wasn’t looking at you.

“What?”

“What you mean what?”

“What you got to say? Why you so quiet?”

“Nothing.”

“Terry.”

A breath. “…I mean…you could have a baby with me.”

“What?!”

“If you wanted to. If you needed to. You know…for your endometriosis. Or…” Looking at you now. “If you just want to.”

“Terry, what the fuck are you talking about? You want kids?”

“No.” He reached forward, turning the tv off with the remote. “…Shit. I don’t know. Like you said who am I going to have a baby with. Why not me?”

“…Terry, we’re not married.”

“Who said we had to be married?”

He was right. You sat the container down. “Okay, but like we haven’t even put a label on whatever this is.”

Another 5 heads, six nipples stare down. “…Girl.” He chuckled. “I’ve been fucking you into the mattress every night, every other night, for 6 months now. You are sitting on my couch in a night shirt that you got out of a drawer in my bedroom. You know one of the 3 drawers you have in my 6-drawer dresser. You have a toothbrush, hair dryer, flat iron, and a hot comb here and I signed for one of your amazon packages today. What do you think this is?”

You fought back a smirk, “…Okay, but you still haven’t said what it is.”

“Neither have you. But if you need to know, you’re mine and I am damn sure yours. And if you really really need to know, if any other man comes near you…anything is a weapon to me. And I have a valid excuse for going crazy on dude.”

“Again, with the caveman stuff. My god. Did your mom teach you manners?” You giggled as he pulled at your leg. You scooted closer to him.

“I mean, baby.” He lifted your chin up. “I haven’t thought about kids, and yeah we’ve only been together for six months, so maybe it is too early for kids. But if you got pregnant, I wouldn’t be unhappy. And if you needed to be married to make it legitimate to you, I won’t oppose it. Like married, not married, pregnant, not pregnant, I want you. And I want you to be happy, and healthy, and not crampy. So if you needed it or wanted it, or if happened by accident, I’m cool.”

You grinned, the speech warming you to your core, “Cool.” But let’s be realistic. “But I did get the IUD, so we shouldn’t have to worry about that. I mean if you wanted to be extra sure, there’s a pack of condoms in your top drawer.”

“Nah.” --------------------

A/N: Partially Inspired by True events. Like 4 days after my 23rd or 24th birthday (2019), an ovarian cyst I had ruptured and I had to have surgery to get it out. It resulted in me losing my left ovary (or my right…I SERIOUSLY ALWAYS FORGET. I really think COVID killed my brain cells) and when I visited my doctor afterwards, that is the conversation I had.

Except I was in my TWENTIES.

That MAN told me I was not getting any younger in my early twenties and that my mom really wanted my grandchildren specifically. He was a nice guy but I didn’t realize how crazy that conversation was until I retold it to my current OB and she said,

“Well why in the hell would he say that?”

I hope yall enjoyed my thinly veiled piece of self insert fan-fiction lol.

[thepeacefulgarden]

Promises you must make to yourself (and keep) when it's time to detach with love

I will stop trying to control anyone but myself.

I will set boundaries with this person, and I will not rescind those boundaries.

I will make those boundaries clear.

I will not give in to temper tantrums, threats, tears, bargaining, guilt trips, or other manipulative tactics. Instead, I will walk away.

I will stop doing things for them that they are capable of doing for themselves, and should be doing for themselves.

I will stop "loaning" them money I know I'm never going to get back.

I will let them be responsible for their own lives, and their own choices, and I will take responsibility for mine.

If it's necessary, I will remove myself and any children and/or pets from the household, and I will get us to safety.

I will prioritize my safety and well-being, and the safety and well-being of any children or pets.

I will not cover and lie for this person anymore.

I will no longer defend or make excuses for their unacceptable behavior.

I will prioritize my needs over their wants.

I will know that I am doing this because I love them and care about them, and I will absolve myself of guilt.

I will cultivate a support system of my own.

I will absolve myself of responsibility for their happiness, their life choices, their behavior, their words, and their responsibilities.

I will regulate my emotions when they try to dysregulate me. I will not lose my cool, no matter how much they agitate me.

If I cannot deescalate them, I will walk away.

I will absolve myself of responsibility for their feelings. I will let them be mad. Or sad. Or whatever else.

I will not bail them out of legal trouble.

I will not bail them out of any other kind of trouble or crisis.

I will no longer give this person second, third, fourth, fifth, hundredth chances they don't deserve.

I will accept that the situation is what it is, and I will stop trying to minimize or deny how bad it is.

I will accept that I cannot change or control them, and I will stop trying to do so.

I will find a sense of meaning, identity, and purpose outside of my relationship with them, or feeling "needed" or "wanted" by them, or anyone else.

I will let them face the consequences of their behavior, and I will absolve myself of responsibility for those consequences.

I will know and understand that I have done my best, and I cannot help someone who won't help themselves.

I will know that, no matter how much they may protest otherwise, I am not being selfish.

[blueishspace]

What allignement is 3rd Life Grian?

Each major character moment will be rewarded points on the chaos-lawful and good-evil spectrum and at the end we'll see on what allignement he lands.

This is mostly for fun and is pretty dumb.

Grian blows up Scar, this action is definitely chaotic for obvious reasons... however It's not exactly evil as he didn't mean to kill Scar and definitely regrets doing so. Chaotic Neutral, +2 Chaos points.

Grian feels bad and makes a deal with Scar in which he will work for him until he loses his first life. Since It's done to make up for a past misdeed, Lawful Good, +1 Law point and +1 Good point.

Grian plans on creating a monopoly on dark oak, taking respurces from others for personal gain is not extremely awful but it is Neutral Evil leaning. +1 Evil point.

Grian takes the alliance pretty seriously and honestly tries to help Scar make good decision. Lawful Neutral, +2 Law points.

Grian and Scar plan on stealing other player's stuff and selling it back to them. Chaotic Neutral, +2 Chaos points.

Scar tries to Scam people at the desert but Grian tells them not to trust Scar and attempts to stop them from falling for it. Chaotic Good, +1 Chaos and +1 Good.

Grian builds a base for himself and Scar, at this time he's with Scar only because of the deal so he's just following the agreement.True Neutral Leaning towards Lawful Neutral. +1 Law.

Grian tricks and distracts Ren to enchant some of his gear in secret, +2 Chaos, but ends up still paying him in sand, +1 Law.

Grian convinces Scar not to kill him using their deal and then does a rules info-dump. Lawful Neutral, +2 Law.

Grian warns people about Scar's scams again, Chaotic Good, +1 Chaos and +1 Good...again.

Grian uses Scar's red life their deal as an excuse to trap and explode three players. It's equally chaotic and lawful but definitely evil. Neutral Evil x3 deaths, +6 Evil.

He then laughs maniacally at the husband of one of the people he just murdered. Chaotic Evil, +1 Chaos and +1 Evil.

Grian builds a creeper farm in order to get more tnt to use against Renchanting. +1 Chaos.

Grian lava traps the bubblevator. +1 Chaos +1 Evil.

He then launches tnt at the Crastle, +1 Chaos +1 Evil.

Grian and Scar go to Skizz's base to burn his banner and are catched in the act. Just Chaotic Neutral dumbassery, +2 Chaos.

Grian makes Pizza banners for himself and Scar, since the latter was the one most attached to Pizza it could be interpreted as comfort. NG leaning. +1 Good.

Grian rigs the desert, this plan is just so batshit insane it deserves +3 Chaos.

Grian tells Scott and Jimmy about the tnt, he gets +1 Law just because of sticking to alliances.

From now on there is an actual war of alliance vs alliance so killing in a fight does not give points any one way or the other.

Grian decides to stick with Scar despite not being in debt with him anymore... his reasons however are entirely selfish so only +1 Good.

Grian ditches his allies for a short trip to check if he has back up in case he dies. Chaotic Neutral. +2 Chaos.

Grian is betrayed by Scar and attacks him as soon as he sees him but immediately stops as soon as he notices Scar isn't fighting back.

Grian says there can only be one winner but decides to fight Scar in a 1v1 because the spectators wants a fight. He hurts himself and Scar to follow the rules of the game, Lawful Neutral. +2 Law.

Grian wins with a total of:

9 Law.

18 Chaos.

5 Good.

9 Evil.

(Net score: 9 points towards Chaos and 4 points towards Evil.)

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 1: first kiss

Masterlist flufftober 🎀

Reblog if you liked it!

You were walking along the inside of the sidewalk, enjoying the story that your friend was telling you animatedly, while both of you headed to your apartment.

You had been dating a few weeks with Dr. Spencer Reid, whom you had met at your book club. He was the only man attending and although the old women were completely sweet with him, they were no competition for you, who had liked you from the first glance. He had invited you on a date with the excuse of talking a little more about the last book you had read and when you were alone with him you ended up seeing how charming he was. That allowed you to ask for a new date and so you continued to see each other frequently, when Spencer's work allowed it.

He was a gentleman with you and although it was obvious that you liked each other, he had been too cautious to make any move beyond taking you to nice places and buying you flowers.

“If I'm overwhelming you, you can tell me,” he laughed, a little embarrassed that he had been talking for most of the way.

“I really like hearing you talk. You always have something good to say.”

You were very close to your apartment and both of you slowed down considerably, as if you weren't ready to separate yet. You had been walking with your hands in the pockets of your coat to keep yourself protected from the autumn cold that was already beginning to set in, wishing that it was his hands that kept yours warm.

“Sometimes I feel like I'm still not used to it”

"To what?"

“To be with someone as kind as you,” he confessed to you, smiling slightly “You are literally the nicest person I know.”

“That's not true, I have a lot of bad things,” you tried to excuse yourself, even though it was totally true, hoping that he wouldn't start idealizing you as something you weren't.

“We all have them, that's true. But it is also true that you are gentle and good” he added. Spencer was so mature and so gorgeous that you doubted there was a man like him on earth and even with the short time you had been dating you believed he was good boyfriend material. Excellent boyfriend material, to tell the truth.

“You're going to the club this month, right?”

“I'll try,” he replied, when both of you were in front of your building. “You know, work…”

“This month I have to bring the snacks. And I was thinking about preparing something you like, if you want” you murmured shyly.

Your cooking skills were something you prided yourself on and you wanted to show him that you too were talented, just like he was with almost everything. Spencer smiled at the idea and gave you a list of suggestions, which you excitedly wrote down in your mind.

You didn't want to enter your house, but your excuses to keep him longer had run out and you even felt a little selfish for wanting even more from him after spending almost the entire afternoon together. But it was inevitable to want his company.

“We'll see you soon, okay?” he promised you, bending down a little to wrap you in a goodbye hug “I will try my best to be free on the day of the meeting.”

“No pressure, I'll save you some snacks and we can eat them at my apartment later,” you suggested, venturing to plan a date at a more intimate place that you two hadn't climbed to yet.

Spencer smiled from her spot and you knew that this was the final goodbye, although neither of you were very happy.

“Good night, Y/N.”

You responded in the same way and then you saw him start walking down the sidewalk, but this time you didn't go straight in like you did before. You weren't going to waste your chance, nor the pang of bravery that seemed to have hit you.

“Spencer! I think you're forgetting something," you exclaimed, loud enough to stop him and make him retrace his steps to look at you with a confused expression.

"What is it?"

“This” quickly and without leaving room for complaints, you pulled him by his tie until he was close to you and planted a chaste kiss on his lips, which were slightly stained with lipstick that matched the man's cheeks “You can go, rest”

“Huh… you too”

It was obvious that you had taken him by surprise, but it had been worth it just to see him in that state, trying to hide the emotion that the caress had given him and keeping his gaze on your mouth probably debating whether he should kiss you again or not.

This time you did walk in the direction of the entrance, but he was the one who didn't move, still processing what had just happened. You waved your hand from the door to say goodbye and he waved back, smiling tenderly at you. You'd like to say you didn't spy on him as you walked up the stairs, but that would be a lie, and so would saying you didn't see his excited little dance when he thought he was out of sight.

Although very brief, it was the best first kiss you had ever had in your life.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove

[utilitycaster]

On the last episode of Divergence, it made me so happy to watch when Liam heard Brennan say "By road's end" and I could see his brain connect it with "Byroden" and I was once again really touched by the... tenderness, I suppose, with which this miniseries is treating that period of time and the world of Exandria.

I don't intend to use this ask as a place to just shit talk c3 because even tho i AM a hater at heart it just feels more than pointless to do it now, but after years of watching a group of characters actively refuse to engage with the world and its history having these 3 episodes go out of their way to show that history happening and how the people of Exandria cared for each other feels really refreshing and I was wondering if this is something others have felt too or if I'm just bitter at this point

So: I do think it's kind of bitterness, which isn't like, bad, but isn't necessarily helpful either.

I will personally admit that like. how do I put this. I love how Byroden was developed and portrayed in EXU Prime by Aabria and Aimee, but I've never particularly been that deeply attached to it (though understandably Liam would be). The twins' story is much more about Byroden as a place they cannot go home to and so I suppose I never felt a need to go there, because what's important about them is what Vex found in Whitestone and Vax in Zephrah (and both of them in Emon).

The above paragraph may seem a little like a digression but I think it's worth bringing up because, much as I adore Campaign 2 for spending so much time establishing the place of Wildemount, Fjord's story is no less strong for us not seeing Port Damali in the same way Yasha's is no less strong for us not seeing the Iothia Moorlands during the course of the campaign. As characters, Vex, Vax, Fjord, and Yasha all are so rich and interesting and develop so thoroughly over the course of their stories that we don't need to see every little piece of the world. And I don't think the problem with Campaign was lack of care; I think it is, again, lack of preparation combined with a highly specific intended...plot's not the right word even, but setup, that played to the characters' weaknesses and for which insufficient guidance was given. I think the cast and Matt all love Exandria, and it's just...they were trying to collaborate on a story where most of them didn't know what the fuck was going on and were stuck playing people who didn't particularly care what was going on. I think the cast would have loved to have explored the Shattered Teeth, but they couldn't! I think they'd have liked to have spent more time in Yios, or the Feywild, or Isslrya, or on Ruidus, and they kept being shoved from place to place to place. It is not lack of care; it's just that this was a story that needed to be told very differently. I do place the bulk of the blame on Matt because this is a DM-ing problem, and the problem was that Bells Hells engaging with the world wasn't rewarded with any kind of payoff because payoff probably would have derailed this whole moon plot or made the campaign 300 episodes long, so Matt didn't reward it, so the cast stopped doing it.

For what it's worth this is why I am generally optimistic if cautious about future works; because while I'll admit that some of Bells Hells' character concepts fail to impress me, I don't think the cast came in with the intention of playing indecisive and selfish idiots; it's just that they were not really given much to work with. Even Laudna's unbelievably unsympathetic behavior in the finale feels less like "I'm an asshole here to break things" and more on a Doylist level of Marisha trying to make some conflict happen for once. To be clear, it still makes me think the character sucks, but it was just a poor alignment of DM and player goals that never got resolved and would have been so easy to avoid that it's impossible to excuse, and Divergence seems to have had a much more robust planning stage. That is ultimately it.

[fancygremlin]

A breakdown of Arthur’s breakdown.

Part 26 is stuck in my head, so I am going to talk about it.

Arthur’s breakdown of course starts off with the reveal that Larson sacrificed his daughter for power and money.

However, what really reinforces Arthur’s self-loathing are Yellow’s words;

Yellow has no qualms in throwing cruel accusations at Arthur. His intentions were clear and simple: to hurt him in the most devastating ways and where it hurts the most. However, Yellow does all that in a voice that Arthur recognises as John’s.

Ultimately, Arthur is forced to hear the voice of his only friend confirming all his worst fears and convictions. That’s what gets to him: his best friend seeing him as Arthur truly sees himself (irredeemable, rotten, a poor excuse of a human who should have died a long time ago. Someone who is trapping John, and who is forcing John to stay and put up with him).

Arthur is ao distraught that he is almost catatonic as he is carried to the mines. He is unresponsive to Yellow's insults, he has no strength to bite back to Larson's taunts. He just lets himself be dragged by Uncle.

When John finally, miraculously comes back, Arthur is quick to latch onto him. His attempts at interacting with John are however awkward and clumsy. I think that this inability to reconnect with John is because he still cannot distinguish John’s words from Yellow.

After all, if Yellow is John without his memories and without their shared experiences… doesn’t that just mean that deep down Yellow’s opinions reflect John’s in some way? Does John really think of Arthur as a self-centred person, a selfish man, a careless and cruel monster who hides behind fake acts of kindness?

To put these doubts to rest, Arthur decides to project onto John his issues. If he can prove that John is not like Yellow, he can prove to himself that he is not like Larson.

He therefore wastes no time in praising how John has improved… by cruelly comparing him to Yellow and demonising everything about Yellow… which is not right. The things he shows reluctance over were still part of who John was, those were still parts that John had to build upon to become who he is currently.

Ultimately, Arthur is involuntarily preventing John from further forming his own identity by explicitly telling him what he should and shouldn’t do, what he should and shouldn’t be. He is suddenly removing the safety and freedom that he granted John this far to figure his own identity out and is instead setting up arbitrary expectations and rules.

He is just doing to John what he did to Yellow.

These strong attempts in differentiating John and Yellow held a lot more weight, when we consider that he was projecting his own problems onto his friend. That's why he is so explosive and irritated whenever John doesn't agree with him.

He was just trying to grapple for any excuse, any proof that there is something concrete that he can use to define what makes a person good or bad. Because otherwise, there really is no difference between himself and Larson and he cannot bear to see himself in that light. He can’t accept that despite everything he did and tried to improve, deep down he’s still a cruel, heartless monster who killed his own child and went on to live.

When John didn’t give him what he wanted (instead going as far as agreeing with Yellow at one point), Arthur grew more and more anxious and restless. So, the only thing that he had left was to carve out and purge the rotten parts of himself. In any way he could.

Only then will he be a good person. Only then will the scales even. Only then he will stop seeing himself as a murderer and a poor excuse of a human.

He resolves that the only option for him is to kill the parts of himself that he doesn’t want. He decides to kill himself Uncle and make Larson pay.

Clearly these suicidal tendencies have been accompanying with him for a long time, as shown in his emotional reactions when his parents died, when Bella died and when Faroe died. His regret is also shown when he confesses he felt extreme guilt in enjoying the life he managed to build back for himself in Arkham as he was working as a PI with Parker.

Arthur just truly cannot forgive himself and his self-loathing runs so deep it’s almost a part of himself he cannot leave behind.

I like how the doubt Arthur feelings of inaptitude, guilt and self-loathing still linger even after being comforted by John at the end of Season 3:

He is unable to truly move on from his mistakes, he still feels the need to find a piece of irrefutable evidence proving he is a good person and that he can be forgiven. He needs his worries and anxieties to be put to rest.

John's forgiveness isn't enough to move on. Daniel's forgiveness was just enough to convince him he might be a good person who is truly trying to do good.

However, in Part 36, we can see that Arthur has not abandoned his self-loathing, as he still sees no wrong in wanting to kill himself killing Uncle. After Oscar reveals what happened at the orphanage he grew up in, Arthur and John have this exchange:

Arthur is tragically forever stuck waiting for Faroe's forgiveness, which he can never really obtain. She’s dead and there is nothing he can do to get her back…

[odiledemonicat]

So...is it just me or were the extreme flaws in Arcane season 2 basically the inevitable result of the both-sides politics and general too-enlightened-and-smart-and-cool-to-have-strong-opinions attitude of the first season?

The whole "Suuuure Piltover oppressed Zaun for years through wealth inequality, police violence and ecocide buuut the Zaunites are jerks too! Look! Drugs! Prostitution! Terrorism! (gee I wonder what drove them to do all those things?) in season one became:

"and all of it is just a cycle of pointless violence that will never solve anything and that's why the Zaunites should pretty much just accept their position and patiently wait for Piltover to be nice and grant them basic respect by resolving things peacefully.

See? You can even get one seat at the council which overwhelmingly outnumbers you and still represents your oppressors. Smiles all around! I guess the Zaunites just needed to believe in themselves and be the bigger person in this fight that Piltover started. Because, as we all know, violence has never had a historical record of changing things."

(all of this right in the aftermath of the Gaza war and also Vi's voice actor Hailee Steinfield posed for pics with the actual IDF btw)

The "we support gay rights, as long as one of them's a cop so the audience knows they're not, y'know, one of THOSE gays" became:

"and that's why it's fine that Caitlyn basically coerced Vi into becoming a cop too and then struck her for not letting her endanger a child. CaitVi 5evah! Jinx just needs to grow up and stop being so selfish and jealous and possessive! This kind of volatile highs and lows and emotional turmoil are normal for lesbians, right?"

(like I've seen the whole "7 years in prison vs one month in a lesbian relationship" meme and I get the joke is supposed to be all "haha relationships toxic" but like...is that not literally just lesbophobia?)

The "yeah, we condemn police brutality, IF it's coming from nameless faceless cops who you have no personal connection to whatsoever. If it comes from a main character you're supposed to like, we'll just excuse it away bc they're hot" became:

"and so now all the blame for cops' evil actions, including said main character, will be placed on one generic evil dictator with no exploration of their complicity or the inherent flaws to policing as a system."

"We support mental health awareness! As long as the mental illness leaves you as a hardened badass with cool marketable fight scenes. Deeply rooted emotional scars and unhealthy coping mechanisms are sexy and make you look gritty and tough!" became:

"and that's why all the misery(heheh) from the first season has been ramped up to 11 to the point of feeling gratuitous so we can keep seeing characters constantly sad at all times. And also why now all the fight scenes just basically look like the characters have superspeed instead of at least somewhat believable heightened reflexes from a lifetime of constant violence, leaving them without any of the grounded realism and weight that made them look incredible before"

"Disability deserves representation! Viktor's just such a heckin' valid cool smol bean! As long as it's just basically shown as a reason to feel sad for him and little to nothing else and also he's forced by the plot to be looking for a way to get rid of it."

became

"and now he's looking for a way to solve ALL problems and inequality which has to be a bad thing for some reason and his goal is kind of turned into a suicide metaphor. Also to do it he has to take over the world because we have to keep in line with the original game (even though we already departed from it greatly anyway) and we just made it so it's out of heartbreak over Jayce. Goodness knows we can't just have him actually achieve his original intention of using science and medicine to radically improve society, that would mean fundamentally changing the system!"

[ackerlikesmen]

I can't with this.

I'm trying to be open-minded with certain stans, but sometimes I find myself dismayed and annoyed. Maybe I'm being dramatic and need to go outside. However, I find some of these responses a bit concerning and sad.

So, let me get this straight.

Because Percy is strong enough to handle these situations --- being judo flip on concrete, being pushed off a cliff and having a god who wants to kill you, being hit and kicked, and so on--- Annabeth wasn't wrong? Percy faced worse odds and almost died within the series, so Annabeth's antics shouldn't affect him. Also, Percy laughed it off or didn't voice any complaints! So obviously, there's nothing wrong!

Seriously? This is 'platonic banter' to you?

Okay, if that's the case, why doesn't Percy do any of this in return? For it to be cute banter and shit, both sides agree, right. So tell me, why doesn't Percy punch her in the gut? Or kick her in the shins? Or slam her on concrete like a rag doll whenever he's upset? Or push her off a cliff and watch her get her shit rocked? Why doesn't he use her for his emotional outlet?

We all know why.

Percy isn't complaining? I mean, I think he has. When he said he didn't like Seaweed Brain name, she didn't stop calling him that. He knew she wouldn't, but he let her away. He gave up. Does that sound good to you? He doesn't like it when Reyna calls him, so what makes you think he likes it when Annabeth does? Again, he doesn't, but he puts up with it.

Back to the complaining part, some of you forget Percy's fatal flaw: personal loyalty. This means he won't end a friendship or relationship, even when he needs to. He cares about his loved ones and puts them before him. Not only that, Percy has bad self-worth issues. He doesn't take himself seriously, nor will he take his life or safety seriously. Same caring boy who forgave Grover and blamed himself, even when it's Grover's fault. Same selfless boy who still adores his mother, even when her selfishness puts him in harm's way (not allowing him to go to camp and having him stuck with smelly Gabe). The same loving boy who puts up with Annabeth's bullshit because he loves her.

I don't want to make this long because I already wrote a long ass post.

My point: some of you are excusing toxic and abusive traits, intentionally or not. You think Percy being strong enough to handle that shit and being brave enough to call out others means he should tolerate Annabeth's cruelty.

NO. HE. SHOULD. NOT.

Percy's strong, but he's not invincible.

Percy's brave, but he still has fears.

Percy's confident, but he still has insecurities.

Percy may be the strongest demigod to exist, but he's still human. Just because Percy isn't afraid of bullies doesn't mean he can't get hurt like anyone else. He has feelings like everyone else. He can crack like anyone else. Percy's not a fucking punching bag for Annabeth whenever she needs to let out her anger. She's a big girl and can talk to Percy or someone.

Now, maybe that's not your intention. However, that's the vibe I get from some of you. I will stop because the more I type and read these comments, the more upset I get.

Night xxx

[b3d-r0t]

"I don't know how I ever got this big!"

its an easy thing to tell people to shed some of the responsibility, to make it seem like it wasn't your fault.

But it's not true. Not for me it's not.

Because I do know. I do know how I got this big.

I made choices.

Choice after choice, day after day, hour after hour

I chose my greed over my health over and over again.

I chose to fill my kitchen with foods that I knew were bad for me , and my choice to ignore every healthy or reasonable option at the grocery store, because my lust for sugar, fat and salt, my immediate pleasure, was more important than my health, or my life.

And I chose to stuff my face with excessive amounts of that food every day, more and more.

I chose to conveniently ignore how my clothes continuously stopped fitting after only month because I was accumulating lard so quickly.

I chose to ignore the red stretch marks covering my belly, my hips, my ass, because I was gaining weight so quickly my body didn't know what to do, sending the fat anywhere it could, stretching, ripping my skin apart to accommodate the new blubber the signs of a body overwhelmed and scarred by gluttony , screaming , begging for a break, a chance to catch up for even just a moment.

I chose not to exercise or do anything even remotely active to try in any small way to counteract some of the damage being done by the type and amount of food I was consuming, if I wasn't going to fix my diet. I chose to lay in my bed and sit on my ass day after day, letting all those calories solidify and bury me deeper in rolls rather than burning them off doing something productive.

I chose to make no changes whatsoever even as I was diagnosed with diabetes , high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and countless other ailments.

I chose to make no changes, even as I watched my weight sore past 400, 500, 600 pounds...

I chose to give up my mobility willingly and happily even before my weight immobilized me, because that way I had an excuse to fully give up , be cared for and provided for by others all the time, and never be expected to get out of bed, or work, or leave home, ever again.

I made the choice to find every way to continue to enable my bad habits, my insatiable need for more and my profound laziness rather than work to improve myself or address the issues.

I chose to slowly kill myself and ruin my body with the fat I've drowned it in

I chose my own selfish pleasure over the concern and sadness of those that watched my descent into this shell of a person, that ignored their pleas for me to make a change and take care of my health

I chose to wait to take any kind of medication until it was the only way to keep my organs just barely scraping by at least a short while longer so I could continue to consume and push the limits of my body as far as possible for as long as possible

And I choose to continue fueling the ever consuming fire of my greed and the endless pit that is my stomach today until even the life support machines can't fight off the abuse I've done to my body any longer.

I choose to satisfy my desires rather than my needs. To listen to the false hunger that constantly aches in my stomach no matter how much I eat, endlessly needing more.

I choose to continue enabling my gluttony to become somehow even worse by installing a permanent feeding tube for me to keep in my suckling mouth in the minutes between when I finish one meal and the next is brought to me, and between bites, even while I'm sleeping, because i can't go even a moment without something filling my stomach

I make choices based on what's going to make me feel good right now, not using my actual thoughts or intellect to discern what's best for me to do.

[fashion-foxy]

You know something that's odd to me? How weirdly the child of the Beauty and the Beast get handled in media. (Obviously, my only examples are EAH and Descendants, but walk with me on this.)

The Beauty is someone who will, for better or for worse, always see the best in everyone. They are kind and good-natured but is usually someone who still holds people accountable for their actions and intentions, not what the Beauty thinks their intentions are.

The Beast is someone who typically does not look past the surface level of a person out of stupidity or willful ignorance. The Beast is also very selfish ,closed-minded , and stubborn. Unfortunately , that means in retellings, the Beast is the only one to go a character arc, and the Beauty comes off as judgmental or too forgiving.

Both characters being foils means that it could be a bit challenging to portray a character that is a result of both of those personalities, but if done right, it creates a very interesting character!

So, what did EAH and Descendants do with what they were given?!

Well, for starters, a bad job, but you already knew that. Let's take a look at Rosabella Beauty and Benjamin Florian No Last Name Given. (Idk most Descendants characters don't have last names)

Rosabella is judgemental, which could definitely actually be a super cool thing that she got from her dad, but based off the fact that she didn't go on an arc and it didn't get presented as a character flaw, I suspect this was accidental. Which is real shame. It would've been a really cool concept to explore Rosabella actually being the Beast.

She is also, by not getting any meaningful character development, giving off major 'I could fix him' vibes with Daring. Except, she's ignoring what's actually wrong in his life and looking at surface level interpretations of what she thinks he's like. Then, deciding he's a self-centered narcissist who she needs to fix so he meets her standards. Hey, wait a spell. She kind of seems to embody more of the Beast characteristics than the Beauty's. I wonder if the writers might have had other plans but were forced to change her into something else or perhaps Mattel wanted to sell a doll of her and Daring so they had to awkwardly force a relationship and not use their original plans?

Ben is way too forgiving. When we first see him, he says that he wants to give the Isle kids (kids who were born to villians who've been trapped in a magic prison all their life) a chance at a normal life, which is great! It's probably one of the best things a 16 year old king could do. So when's the next time he forgives someone? When he tells Mal that he knows she drugged him. So, it's at this point where you kinda realize that he isn't being too forgiving he's trapped in an abusive relationship. Once he sees that Mal realizes the implications of that, he goes back on it, and he tells her that it's not that big of a deal that it's ok that he still loves her.

When's the next time something like this happens? When Mal tries to erase some of his memories after catching her lying about using magic. He obviously yells at her because that's a fucked up thing to do. She downplays the situation and makes excuses. Shortly after, she runs back to the Isle. Ben, assuming that she had the best intentions, blames himself and ultimately gets kidnapped and then drugged again. All of these interactions are all portrayed as 'his fault' and that he'd deserved everything that happened to him because he was holding Mal responsible for her actions. In the third movie, he even stops doing it. Hades asks him why an Auradon kid gets to be excused and why everyone on the Isle doesn't, and he looks at Mal but ignores the question. Mal doesn't answer because she's the reason this Auradon person (Audrey) is hurt because she ruined her life and is currently being excused by everyone, including the writers, but Audrey won't. Ben definitely won't.

So, aren't these the best portrayals of the Beauty and the Beast characteristics? Because mixing the traits incorrectly. If Ben was given more Beast characteristics than just roaring sometimes. Mal wouldn't be abusive if their were actually moments where Ben was being unreasonable and too quick to draw surface level conclusions.

Rosabella wouldn't come off as rude and judgemental if she was given more Beauty characteristics. If Daring was actually self-centered and Rosabella considered others and thought about others instead of drawing conclusions.