#but still messed up enough

[nyankoizumi]

if the entire AVA and AVM series is canonically in youtube for anyone to see and The Chosen One were to see the first ever AVA video and witness Alan killing Victim before Chosen had even been created would that be fucked up or what

[zillychu]

hey google what's masochism. hey google am I a masochist. hey google,

(bonus under the cut)

[aardvaark]

the leverage team would have had a games night… once. everyone cheated so much and in such increasingly extreme ways that all mentions of monopoly are banned in their headquarters (this makes talking about marks who monopolize the market very confusing)

[waitineedaname]

MXTX protagonists ranked by how bad their mommy/daddy issues are

Luo Binghe: absolutely nuclear level of mommy/daddy issues. this is the consequence of giving your protagonist two deadbeat dads and two dead moms, and then letting him project all those issues onto his overly indulgent teacher

Wei Wuxian: he could've had perfectly normal orphan levels of parent trauma, but what's that?? IT'S THE JIANG PARENTS WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!! the combo of fear and respect he had for Yu Ziyuan is already bad enough, but then there's also the feeling of responsibility for the Jiang siblings that they put on him, which then leads to, you know, all the Yunmeng sibling problems

Lan Wangji: this dude is so haunted by his father potentially kidnapping his mother and then locking her up and putting himself in seclusion, and this significantly shapes his relationship with Wei Wuxian. plus he took his mother's death really, really badly :(

Shen Qingqiu: he like never mentions his parents?? which is weird, but at least he's not haunted by it. however, he gets the special privilege of being the person exacerbating someone else's mommy/daddy issues. he brought this on himself. he doesn't get to walk out of a confession involving a metaphor where he'd be pregnant with his partner and act like that's normal

Xie Lian: he definitely has trauma surrounding his parents for sure, but they don't seem to have manifested as specifically mommy/daddy issues? it's just, you know. normal grief. honestly, there's so much shit going on with his trauma and baggage that he can't be defined by this one thing

Hua Cheng: does not seem to care about his parents?? at all???? he's presumably an orphan and they're probably the origin of his self worth issues, but like. in the grand scheme of things, they do not seem to be that big of a concern for him. who needs mommy issues when you have devotion to dianxia i guess

[naamahdarling]

You know what? You know what I think?

I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.

The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.

I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.

But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.

We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.

That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.

I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.

Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.

I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.

[dykedvonte]

Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I don’t think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.

Like I am in no way saying he didn’t under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldn’t. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. It’s not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmy’s relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.

They were also Curly’s friends. It’s not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in don’t want to see spiral further in Anya’s case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmy’s actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmy’s stability first is both out of bias but also the fact he’s aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said it’s hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isn’t even saying he doesn’t care about Anya but he’s not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. It’s a complicated thing but he’s still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.

I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasn’t much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.

[screwpinecaprice]

Frolicking among the flowers I think.

I feel like I already drew this before so hoping I didn't!

[asphodeline-lutea]

Toothless's little face fell incredulously. "What do you mean, you don't know who I am?

“I’m T-t-toothless."

[1000dactyls]

Waiter! more hiccup hcs please they way you draw him is phenomenal

you asked & i delivered 🫡 even more hiccup headcanons and stylization thoughts… with an extra helping of the haddocks!!! hiccup is a fun exercise in thinking how does a neurodivergent norse teenager save the world. astrid’s line in DoB’s episode ‘fright of passage’ still sticks with me. paraphrasing a bit, it’s something like this:

ASTRID: come ON hiccup. don’t tell me you haven’t been dreaming about going after the Flightmare — learning about it, riding it, training it… HICCUP: i don’t spend all my time thinking about dragons! ASTRID: are you seriously saying that to me with a straight face right now?

Like why did you clock him like that .

[witchofthemidlands]

everytime i watch anything that has paul mcgann in it i always sit there afterwards thinking what a fucking tragedy it was that he never got seasons as the doctor.

[minyard-05]

"neil fixed andrew" neil didn't fix shit he heard andrew admit to killing his mother, said "good. i want to see you lose control" and decided he wanted that man EXACTLY as he is. THAT'S why they're endgame

[foolsocracy]

I can't help but notice you haven't posted any angst in a while and I'm suspicious

whipped this one up just for u anon

[kaiserouo]

(prev | next | first)

yay i gave him a name

[hyakunana]

God and his staff

[dxxtruction]

"Louis acting like a pimp to Armand" And what is a pimp exactly? Quickly. And, oh so sexual trauma survivors can't engage in kink now without it being all about that? Pet names? They can't be submissive anymore? Consensually? Sexually healthy? Be serious. I'd hardly say there's much power difference between them during all this anyway, except that Louis is freer than Armand and it's been putting a strain on their relationship. Louis wants more from Armand, and less of this 'being his past' for them both, and so helping Armand with this could fix that. It's healthy to want to help your partners get out of a rough patch?

I mean, the whole exchange was very clearly set up as a "I want to help you" after such a great moment of vulnerability Louis feels just how much Armand is desperate for it. Louis called Armand so they could work out a plan together.

And the bit with the umbrella was Louis' way of asking 'are you willing to listen to me?' and Armand said yes by unfolding it. Louis goes on and explains, Armand is allowed to argue against it, but Louis makes his point. And then he gives Armand a way to make his own choice in it too. Armand's already decided 'I want you, more than anything else in the world', but Louis still asks after if he's sure of his choice, and with a name, Arun, that is the one of his fullest agency, running the point home. Honoring the situation Armand calls Louis Maitre - as a way of being like 'I'll do as you've said then'. To make this work he's going to have to give Louis some of the control, yes. But it's the first time such a role is ever established, and it was his choice to do it. So so what if they do it in a very suggestive way? They can't like doing that? I think it's them having fun.

I struggle to find how Louis is being overly domineering here when really he's giving and offering Armand the most agency he's ever had. Same with finding it manipulative. The manipulation was more earlier in the episode I think, when he was stringing him along, giving mixed signals. He's no longer toying with him like that. Louis might be pushing Armand, leading him on to make a decision, but he doesn't mean bad by it.

But back to this pimp thing. I find it frankly offensive that this is where people are going with this. I get it, but to run with it being the case is, on many levels, wrong.

Louis told us episode 1 this was the only sustainable line of work to support his family and keep their standing, at the time. It was never his choice to be doing this either but his blackness allowed no other options. He did what he did so his family could stay in that house and maintain all their same comforts. It gave him privileges most black men didn't have at the time that he wanted to maintain and even have more of. Anyway, it doesn't and had never defined him the way 'being good at running things' had. And in that case he just likes having that kind of control where he can get it, which makes sense.

The world is what placed that kind of role onto him of what he was allowed to be able to run, not himself. And on that he actually treated the sex workers he employed well and respected them enough to give them more opportunity.** He recognizes they don't have much in the way of options either.

Louis employed sex workers, yes, but he didn't subject them to abuse, (like how Armand was)*. He didn't oversee things in a way that would go against their consent (see; episode 1 again)**. Sometimes a job is just a job. And Sex work is work.

Armand's particular past with sexual abuses may strike a particular cord with Louis, given all that, but the very last thing either is thinking is that Louis' pimping Armand out here. This is merely their decision as companions, and had nothing to do with adding another line in a laundry list of selling Armands body out to people at the command of someone else. Armand rescinds some of his control to Louis' wishes, because he wants him, and he trusts him, that's all.

If you aren't allowing Armand that choice, and are doubtful it's fully his, you're putting him right back in the box of being defined by his abuses. Putting him back into that space where he isn't given any agency over what he does. (Which is exactly opposite of what the intent of this scene is for)*.

*: (edit) added for clarity.

**: (strike through) numerous people are saying I'm misremembering these points so disregard it. (Thought he was siding with Bricks, it was the other way around). (Technically one aspect of those opportunities were for getting around the law). I don't have a perfect memory, it happens. Let's not get mad about it. Doesn't change much of the point which is that Louis, now, Louis then, was always considering more about the running things and for stated purposes. So I guess I'd say he may only have respected the SWers enough sometimes for what allowed him to do that, and there are moments he certainly expressed remorse over the fact, but he has a great deal higher respect for Armand that is genuine. It's incomparable. Please read my added notes in the tags, it should address most other concerns.

[chayannesegg]

If Tubrat was being REALLY honest, his day with Ratcumber was the best day he can EVER remember. Ever ever. Ever ever ever.

Of course, that feels mean to Mordecai—that his best day ever could possibly be on a day when Mordecai was gone and he didn't know if when (the Angelic One says soon) he will be back—so he doesn't say it out loud. Doesn't even think it, really.

It's just, he was SO worried. Because Ratcumber was so nice and then he hurt her. He REALLY hurt her. On purpose. She screamed. She must have been so hurt and scared and lonely. And no one stopped him! Everyone saw it happen (like always) and didn't do ANYTHING. And it was really scary, like REALLY scary and he can't stop thinking about it. About hurting her. About doing what he was told. She should hate him forever like everyone else but he had to. He HAD to.

He can't be without Mordecai again. He can't be alone and face all the other rats who hate him and don't care about him and left him to die and want to forget he exists.

Because he's so awful and broken and he can't shut up about it because it hurts less to say everything wrong with him before anyone else can spot it on his face. Because it's worse if someone else says it first. Because Everyone knows, but only he should say it.

Mordecai doesn't say it. He's just there. He's always there for Tubbo and he doesn't leave. He never leaves. Until he was ABANDONED and left to DIE and Mordecai was lost. Because TUBRAT let him go. Because Tubrat failed. Because Tubrat didn't deserve to keep him.

He has to earn him back. He'll do WHATEVER the Ancient Ones Angelic Ones want. So he's not alone anymore.

And Ros knows. Ros knows. She gets it! She GETS it. She also doesn't want to be alone. She was a companion to a HUMAN. She lost them. She wants to GO BACK.

It's so scandalous he can barely imagine it. Rats don't mix with humans. Humans are SCARY. They're scary. They're so scary that is Tubrat is willing to hide in an attic with rats who hate him just to avoid them. He can't imagine how Ratcumber feels SAFE around one.

But he can imagine being alone after losing a friend. And no one caring, well knowing. No one else KNOWS Ratcumber is missing a human. Because Ratcumber doesn't tell people. She keeps her worst parts secret like Shelby keeps her worse parts secret.

Which Tubrat also can't imagine because it's like anytime he tries to keep something bad a secret it seems to burst out of him like bees escaping a hit hive.

(Unless he needed to be sneaky, like right now with the plan to hide Ros' sacrifice. Then he can be sneaky because he HAS to be. No one will notice he's up to something until it's too late. Owen and Munch and Ratman know NOTHING. Totally. Definitely. For sure.)

Of course, the other rats would PROBABLY care if Ratcumber told them she was missing her human. If they got over their fear and anger. Because Ros is good and kind and nice. The rats would understand that Ros wants her human back. They would want her to feel safe and happy (unlike him).

But Ros DOESN'T tell the other rats. Because Ros is scared. And lonely. And she doesn't want to live in a place where everyone hates her for being friends with a human.

And that's.... awful, really. How scared and lonely and desperate Ratcumber must be all the time. And it makes Tubrat's stomach twist to think about. Especially because her sadness makes him HAPPY.

Because she GETS it.

Gets him.

The Angelic One was RIGHT.

She was the PERFECT sacrifice.

Even though it hurt her. Even though it was scary. Even though it felt bad.

Because now she understands. That Tubbo's not crazy. That the Great One ANGELIC ONE can save them. That it was necessary.

And this is good for Ratcumber. Because she gets her friend back (maybe, no definitely, the Angelic One wouldn't lie).

But also it's good for TUBRAT. Because now it's almost like he has a friend.

Ratcumber talked to him! And listened to him! And built a new altar with him.

She made it better. They worked together and made a BEAUTIFUL altar that the Angelic Ones will LOVE and then he'll get back Mordecai and Ros will find her human and everything will be so GOOD.

Because Ros gets him now. She gets HIM. Tubrat. No one ever has before. She saw the very worse parts of him. Really saw them. Felt them. Was hurt because of his desperation. His need. His weakness.

And she DIDN'T leave.

She talked, listened, built with him. Even more than that she PLAYED with him.

Ros played with him.

SHE PLAYED WITH HIM.

No one plays with Tubrat. But Ros DID. She ran around (not away from him) together with him and lied to other rats about doing a play and teaching Tubrat how to talk to rats.

And It was FUN. It was FUNNY. Tubbo laughed SO much it hurt. He didn't know laughter could DO that.

And it was true. Kinda.

This was the longest time Tubrat has EVER spent with another rat in a LONG time. And it did feel like Ros was showing him how it works. And she wasn't scared off when he did something weird.

Ros played with him and he played back and nothing went wrong. No one yelled at him. No one caught them.

(Which, by the way, Ratman didn't CATCH them. He just said scary words but he knows nothing. They can fix it. They can fix it TOGETHER. Because Ros GETS it.)

And the play. The play! Owen sounded like he wanted to buy tickets. So maybe they WILL put on a play. To keep up the act. They'll HAVE to do Ratcumber's Shake-Spears thing. Even though it's probably stupid. But, it might be fun.

Maybe they could have Beky join too once she's been sacrificed. And then he'll have TWO friends. Almost friends. Kinda friends.

No, THREE friends.

Because then Mordecai would be back (right?). And Tubbo REALLY won't be alone anymore.

And, well, Ros' human still sounds scary, but maybe they would watch from a distance.

And Beky would invite El.

The point is today was a GOOD day. Ros GETS him. He ALMOST has Mordecai back. Nothing can go wrong now. And all the bad-scary-awful things that had to happen don't matter anymore.

They only have ONE more sacrifice to do, and Beky will WANT to do it. To save her wife. So it won't even be THAT bad or scary. He doesn't even have to do it. Ros will do it and he just has to WATCH.

Tubrat just has to do ONE more thing and then maybe everything will stop feeling so bad.

Then EVERYTHING will be PERFECT.

And no one can stop it from happening.

Right?