#but sometimes you just need to think about that kind of feeling and it exists
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
dammit-tazmuir · 2 days ago
Text
Just collecting some highlights from the tags and other branches of reblogs bc they all deserve to be seen.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
She's deeply self-aware, and in many ways so confident and comfortable with herself, but also aware of her struggles and short-comings in a way that frustrates her but she isn't ashamed of. She knows her psychological hangup on the replacement arm that Wasn't Perfect So She Didn't Want It was petty and stupid and she still couldn't get over it, and she hated but really deeply accepted that. When she has huge ugly reactions to the first time in the River or to RB/Herald proximity, there's no denial or covering or anything really, she lets body do what it's gonna do. About the only thing she really gets flustered about is getting caught having positive feelings lol.
She has extremely low empathy and is deeply humanized about that and I will love that about her for all of time. She cracks jokes at the worst times. ("Some people will do anything to get.... a head..." I adore her.) She's decisive and owns every decision she ever makes. At no point has she ever shown typical guilt or regret, only occasional adjacent frustration or doubt at most. At no point has she ever felt particular pity or sympathy for anyone, and she doesn't need to.
She's kind to Harrow because she likes her and is interested in forming a bond with her. She gets upset at the idea Harrow might die because she doesn't want Harrow taken from her. She's nice to Augustine because flattering him benefits her and his company is enjoyable and his skills are admirable. She can and will be kind, funny, at times charming, helpful, extremely reliable if she's committed to something, and at times do her best to be comforting and even do things that for all intents and purposes are selfless, even though it is at all times rooted in a selfish mindset. She does things for other people because she WANTS to, sometimes to a point the thing SHE wants most IS what's good for them even if there's no other benefit for her.
She's also a big dumb whiny baby sometimes in the most endearing way. She's one of the funniest characters in the series. She genuinely seems to think she's "the main character" or at least more important than most people. She is a walking pile of snark and apathy and mean jokes and unpleasantness crossed with selective but terrifying and ferocious levels of devotion and brilliance. She's a massive bitch and is entirely at peace with that and she looks like someone left stale bread and butter out in the rain, and that coexists fully with the fact that she is beautiful and loves fiercely and always understands she has room to improve.
Harrow early on begrudges knowing Ianthe has a brain, but "the heart was an open question." But later, and before that from the reader's perspective, in the Prologue, she can hear the beating of "her wet and human heart", and I think there's something evocative about the way that's phrased. She is actively trying to be mean and nasty in many instances and she also very much does do many heinous crimes, but she is always sympathetic and always feels like a very real person. And honestly if even one or two people have ever better understood and been better able to communicate with someone they knew with similar tendencies (hopefully minus the murder and cannabilism but you know) thanks to Ianthe, then all the more reason to be forever grateful she exists.
It’s “can you think of anything nice you like about Ianthe” time! I’ll go first.
She really didn’t play the game at Canaan House. She very much was like, “fuck your keys and fuck you” and did it her way. The reverse engineering plus the common sense is neat. She really is a genius. I mean, she overdoes it sometimes…. Aaaand… she did do a spot of ‘the murder’. But it was just Babs. Who even cares about Babs?
And then we can round this out by just thinking about Ianthe noticing Harrow noticing her. 👍
572 notes · View notes
joostabernichtklein · 2 days ago
Note
Hi,
I NEED a NSFW alphabet
-🪼
-ofc anon, here you go!
⋅ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅Joost Klein NSFW alphabet⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧
Tumblr media
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
He's so sweet after every single time even though he's sometimes so tired aftewards he always tries to comfort you in any way. Maybe running you a warm bath for you to relax or cleaning up the mess you both made before cuddling you to sleep
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also partner's)
He loves everything about you, but his favourites are definitely his parners thighs/ass/chest, but also your face. He just loves your eyes a lil too much
For him i feel like he likes his hands just because of you. Maybe your hands are smaller than his so it makes him feel a bit bigger...he also finds it kinda hot. He also likes his hair and tattoos
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He has a runny and not really sticky cum. He would love to cum in you if you're okay with it. If you're not then he loves cumming on your belly or chest just because he likes seeing you covered in his cum. He also loves seeing you swallow it after sucking him off
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
While you were both in your talking stage, the type of one that you just know the person loves you back yk, he would ask for pics of your outfits. You thought it was a cute gesture from him, but he actually secretly used to get off on them. Its the same when he saw you post a pic with you in a swimsuit. It drove him absolutely insane. You definitely have a secret album in his gallery
E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)
He for sure had atleast 2 partners before you so he knows what he's doing, but its still a work in progress. He loves learning about you and your body finding out what makes you feel good
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
he's DEFINITELY a cow-girl enjoyer. Watching you bounce on his cock, seeing how your face twists in pleasure? HE LOVES IT!!!
And he loves the ol' missionary, who wouldn't tho? You don't have to move a finger, just existing and being pretty/handsome, while he chooses the pace? Count him in!
I can't forget doggy style- he escpecially loves how his cum drips down on the bedsheets when he creampies you (it'll definitely make him hard again)
I think it's safe to say he'll try any position with you, and if you both like it, he won't have a problem with doing it again ¬‿¬
G = Goofy (are they more serios in the moment? Are they humorous? ect.)
He's definitely more on the goofy side so he's not 100% serious during sex. One time when you were overstimulated and he instead of answering you got really quiet reaching for his phone, the next thing you know his song BOOM BOOM starts playing on full volume. After he had his laugh he stopped the music and got back to work
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? ect.)
Let's be real...he has a bush. He doesn't really shave but will make sure if you mind it or not. If you do so he has no problem with shaving.
I feel like his pubic hair is the same color as his moustache, something like dirty blonde
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)
It depens on the mood honestly. He is a bit silly druing it. When it's your birthday he makes the whole day about you, ofc. The sex would be slow and very romantic. I see him most likely being messy rather than clean. He'd be gentle with you in the start but slowly starts to get rougher toward the end
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He seems like that kind of guy who masturbates every day ('case of his high sex drive 'n stuff). But after you guys start dating/sleeping together, he's totally satisfied, masturbating only if you two don't see each other for long (which i think he'd tell you proudly)
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He definitely has a degrading kink- lemme explain!! while I think he'd be more on the dominant side, he still loves getting called someting like a 'bitch in heat' or a 'whore' (tho pls praise him afterwards)
Dunno I can call it a kink, but he definitelly has a thing for thighs- no matter how big or small they are, he loves marking you there (if you want to ofc) and most of all, he LOVES cumming on them, he always feels so desperate afterwards too :(
Other thing that gets him going is praising you. It makes his ego thrive to be the one with power, to be the one to make you feel good with his words and he also loves calling you petnames (some of his favourite pet names and nicknames include: pretty thing, love, sweetheart, good boy/girl etc!)
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Like i already said he's more on the vanilla side he loves the good ol' bed. He also likes shower sex, he finds it so hot. I also feel like he would want try different places for having sex kinda like all around the house like on the couch, in the kitchen, ect
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
It's literally anything that has to do with you. If you're changing infront of him don't be suprised if 5 seconds later he's up your ass touching all over you body. Also being close to you turns him on so much. You two could be just laying in your shared bed cuddling and he just gets hard from being so close to you
N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)
Anything to do with piss or shitting. Anything to do with hurting you or anything with age-play, daddy kink etc.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
When i tell you that Joost is a munch i mean it. I mean this video speaks for itself...so he definitely KNOWS how to work that tongue. He loves to eat you out/give you head whenever he can. Waking you up like this is also a must. He loves when you give him head as well. He finds it both cute and so hot when you try to fit his dick down your throat, getting dumb on his cock
P = Pace (are they fast and rought? Slow and sensual? ect.)
This honestly depens on the situation you're in. If its in the morning he definitely likes to slow and takes his time with you. I can so see him waking you up with either eating you out/giving you head
If the sex is after a show or a long time of you two not seeing each other he's definitely gonna be faster and more rough with you because he's just so pent up and missed you so much
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Again i feel like he's not really into quickies. He doesn't mind them before his shows or before you two are supposed to go out somewhere
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? ect.)
He's willing to take the risk honestly. When he's drunk he doesn't really care if somebody catches you two in the act. When he's sober tho he would be a little unsure but if he's really pent up he wouldn't mind giving in
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
He can get a good 2 rounds in if you give him a few minutes to rest after the first one. The 3rd round would be really pushing it for him, but he would try his best for you ofc
T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them on a partner or themselves)
I feel like he wouldn't have any toys himself. If you owned one he wouldn't really mind and some time later in your relationship he would also use them on you or even compete with them. Aftewards he would ask you what felt better
If you didn't own any before you started dating I think he wouldn't mind buying a few just to try them out on you later
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
I already said this but he LOVES teasing you. Even tho he's really bad at it and often when you would beg him do to something more he'd give in pretty quickly
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, ect.)
He's not ashamed to moan or cry out your name, he loves to let you know how good you make him feel. He loves being loud just because you told him how hot you find it (cuz tbh who doesn't love a whiny men fr). He doesn't mind the neighbors hearing you two fuck. In short he's really loud
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I'm 100% convinced he had a specific wet dream about having a threesome with you and Aggu. You sucking on his cock, choking on the base, while Aggu fucks you in doggy style, making you moan their names prettily.
X = X-ray (let's see whats going on under those clothes)
He himself once said that he's circumcised so lets get that out of the way. I mean we've all seen some SPECIFIC photos/videos, like the one clip from Glassie Water (right?). So i would say he's a good 16,8 cm, 17 cm if he's really hard (6,6 - 6,7 inches) and lets just say he uses them well. His dick is a little bit curved to the left, not too much tho. The thickest of his dick is not too thick but also not too thin, just the perfect one to strech you out nicely
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Let's be real...he's a horny mf all day long everyday. He knows that his libido is high and would be totally okay if dont want to do anything but will definitely give you the biggest puppy eyes after you say no
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Most of the time he falls asleep quicker than you. Before he does tho he always checks on you to see if you're all set and comfy. He also loves to give you cuddles before falling asleep
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
-not proof-read so if you see any mistakes my apologies
-hoped you enjoyed reading as much as i did writing this!!
-don't forget to send more asks!
65 notes · View notes
slavicdolls4mangione · 2 days ago
Text
the one where lu is the little spoon hc 💌:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
- lu is the kind of guy who always puts others first. whether he’s working long hours, helping friends move, or just being the emotional support person for everyone in his life, he rarely takes time for himself. but when he’s with you, all of that changes. with you, he feels like he can finally let his guard down and just be
- after a particularly grueling day or when his chronic back pain is flaring up, lu’s first instinct is to seek you out :’) he’ll come home, kick off his shoes, and immediately make a beeline for wherever you are. without saying a word, he’ll collapse onto the couch or bed, his tall frame folding in on itself as he curls up next to you
- and despite his height, luigi lovessss being the little spoon because there’s something about the way you wrap your arms around him that makes him feel safe and protected <3 he’ll wiggle backward until his back is pressed against your chest, letting out a soft sigh as he finally relaxes, and tells you “you’re my favorite place to be,” with his voice all heavy with exhaustion :(
- but when he’s super tired and groggy omfg LMAO he gets so sassy and whiny, especially if he feels like you’re not paying enough attention to him, like if you’re distracted by your phone or a book, he’ll nudge you with his elbow and grumble, “hey. i’m suffering over here. focus on me, please”
- which always makes you laugh and set whatever you’re doing aside, wrapping your arms around him again. “better?” you ask, and he’ll hum contentedly, his sassiness melting away as he snuggles closer. “much better,” while his voice is already slurring with sleep
- you’ve learned exactly how to comfort him when he’s feeling down or in pain. you gently massage his lower back, your fingers working out the knots and tension that have built up over the day, sometimes (more like 99% of the time), you run your fingers through his hair or trace little patterns on his arm, and he’ll melt into your touch, his breathing slowing as he starts to drift off
- but if you stop too soon, he’ll whine dramatically, “hey, no. that was working. don’t stop” and if you tease him by calling him demanding, best believe he’s gonna shoot back, “and you love me for it” (he’s not wrong!!)
- luigi loves the way you instinctively know what he needs. on days when he’s feeling particularly vulnerable, he’ll bury his face in the crook of your neck and whisper, “just hold me, please” and you do, without hesitation, because you know how much it means to him. in those moments, he feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders
- he’s not embarrassed about being the little spoon—in fact, he thinks it’s kind of funny. he would joke around by saying something like “who would’ve thought a guy my size would love this so much?” but the truth is, he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks because with you, he feels safe, loved, and completely at ease, and that’s all that matters
- for lu, cuddling like this is more than just physical comfort—it’s a reminder that he doesn’t have to face the world alone. it’s a quiet, intimate moment where he can let go of all the stress and pain and just exist in the warmth of your love. and every time you hold him, he falls a little more in love with you <33
- on weekends, when he has more time to relax, he would often suggest a “cuddle marathon.” he’d set up the couch with blankets and pillows, queue up a movie or a tv show, and pull you into his arms—or rather, wiggle into yours, groaning in satisfaction once you wrap your arms around him or when his cheek finally squishes itself into your chest
- but if you get up to grab a snack or take a phone call, he’ll literally pout like a child. “where are you going ? i thought this was a marathon. you can’t just leave me here all alone.” which you can’t help but laugh at because seeing your grown ass man of a boyfriend act like a 5 year old is amusing as hell LOL and when you promise to come back quickly, he’ll still grumble until you’re back in his arms
- he also loves the little things you do to make him feel special. whether it’s making his favorite tea, playing soft music in the background, or just letting him vent about his day, he appreciates it more than he can put into words. he would always tell you “you’re my safe haven,” in a voice so soft and sincere it makes your heart squeeze
- and when he’s feeling better, he always makes sure to return the favor. he’ll wrap his arms around you, letting you be the little spoon for a change, and whisper, “thank you for always being there for me.” it’s his way of showing you that he cherishes you just as much as you cherish him
- for luigi, being the little spoon isn’t just about physical comfort—it’s about the emotional connection you share. it’s a reminder that, no matter how tough life gets, he always has you to come home to, and that, more than anything, is what keeps him going :’)
93 notes · View notes
yuseirra · 1 year ago
Text
if there's one thing I personally focus on when I draw something, it would be the emotions. I try to convey the exact emotions of a character when I make art, and portray how they'd be feeling at that exact situation, as they say something, and so on...
I try to feel the same feelings they would when I draw an expression, as close as I can get at least, it's what I do over and over. You don't really have to do that ofc, but for me, it's a huge part of the point and it's really fun to do! It's what I believe could give my drawings more life and make them more genuine, even if it's a sketch (in fact, sometimes sketches can be more powerful on that aspect so I used to stick to drawing exclusively those for a very long time). That's how I pour my heart in, and I'm sure a lot of artists would do the same in their own ways when they create their works.
For that same reason, I really like drawing smiles (and characters that can make genuine ones) because that makes me happy. Other feelings are cool, too, but drawing happy art is so soothing, so I draw a lot of smiles!! It's also why I feel the need to understand a character, because you can't exactly feel what they'd be feeling unless you aren't so aware of what they're going through. I wouldn't be entirely right, I'm sure, but I really want to try. It's maybe why I usually stick to drawing a select few characters from a series all the time, because there are some characters I "get" better than others, and feel I can bring out better(and most of the time, luckily, those kinds of characters end up to be my favs, so I can draw then alot ;v;) Then again, I'm seeing them through my own lens of thinking, I'm just putting out what I see in those characters in the end. But it's usually the good things I love! Or something I feel is really intriguing and want to think about, or want to explore on, emphasize? Anyhow, it's the feelings and emotions part I've always been interested about! So I hope I can do that well!
My drawings aren't perfect, but they aren't too bad either, and I've been trying all the way. If they could imbue some sort of feeling for you, that's definitely what I wanted to accomplish! It makes me so excited when I get feedbacks about it being able to make someone "feel" something.. it means what I wanted got across so I'm like "yes"!!
it'd be nice if they will feel genuine one way or another!! I was and is and will be happy to continue to share my works with you all
15 notes · View notes
genxnarumi · 3 months ago
Text
talks to so many people and still lonely; is it that no one cares nor includes me….or am i just that good at keeping them at a safe distance away?
8 notes · View notes
xiii-e · 4 months ago
Text
//ooc posting: I NEED to find more fun/silly things to do with my two they are Not meant to be all agony all the time I swear- I just have a penchant for the dramatic and they're a little in the torment nexus o(-< but on god they will Have Fun too
#//ooc#even in the torment nexus there's spots of brightness!! I need to start playing with them too I'm not a grimdark writer I swear!!#I have ideas for softer bits and pieces. sibling stuff. cute things. I will get to it somehow hell or high water o7#T-E purrs!! they can do that!! it's part of their genetic alterations and I want to play with that too as well as the horrors!!#now don't get me wrong either The Horrors are one of my fav things to write but it's chiaroscuro y'know you need the contrast#it can't be a fight for personal autonomy all the time sometimes it needs to be T-E's huge kitty eyes or Helios being a dork#all this might be unnecessary I just get a little self conscious sometimes about how full-grit my writing can be wehh#holding my creatures in my hands. they are capable of such a beautiful joy. it's actually vital that they are#since I'm rambling anyways: huge part of what I want to do with T-E's pre campaign rp is start pulling them out of their shell#they start the planned game still stuck on their rules but it's talking to people that's gonna put them in a place where like#they know there's something else out there. they want it. they feel so much guilt for wanting it but it's the WANTING that's important!!#helios can't do that on his own because he doesn't know either. neither of them know jack about what exists beyond their narrow purview#making a HA clone to me is in part an examination of how miitary as industry will always result in steadily increasing dehumanisation#it's the commodification of a human body to ever increasing heights. soldiers to products to nothing but parts to be scrapped#military as an endless churn less for the sake of any kind of protection and more for the sake of resources. capital. money#it's part of what makes HA so fascinating to me y'know? the way it takes that concept to a far flung conclusion. how bad can it get#the other part is playing someone realising for the first time it's possible to break from what's expected of them#the wonder. the guilt. the disbelief. all of it carefully hidden. it's a huge part of what's so compelling about writing them to me#three huge cornerstones of T-E are: masking - military - the horror of having to exist in a body.#that last one is my taking the weird sensory relationship I have to Flesh/mind and doing horror with it dw too much about that njbkhjv#okay okay I think I'm done this got a little out of hand I'm just like#there's so MUCH about thirteen/T-E that makes me insane. alas I'm tired and it takes me like 4 hours to write a simple post sobs#anywaysss that's my ramble. I like them#helios too I like him. guy absolutely dead set on finding reasons to smile amidst the Horror
7 notes · View notes
beatcroc · 1 year ago
Text
listen. i love pizza tower with my whole heart & mind. you know this. you Know. but first and foremost i am a character design bitch, and the pizzas are, frankly, very bland. this is not a critique or a complaint, because obviously That's Not The Point and more importantly i would be horrified if anyone tried doing that much animation with anything more complex than what's there. but also it means when i get a taste of some truly whack ass insane design work again it is like fuuuucking catnip
#ive been DEPRIVED......#pizza business is on hiatus i need to play lethal league for 50 hours and make a surely ill-fated cosplay about it#it really is unfortunate fake pep could have been a fun cosplay for the way i wanted to go about it#but for all the schematics i had sketched out it was never a thing i wanted to get up and actually try to Make#and then i wake up the next day after playing llb once and go like oh. ohhhhhh. i need to be doombox irl#and because of that realizing. oh that was misplaced idle thoughts before; i never actually wanted to do fp for real#i was just on that train bc 1. very passionate about the game obviously [and he was kind of my only option to rep pt] and 2.#i think it was a lot of leftover inertia from my PREVIOUS cosplay idea [baozhai from indivisible] that i also never pursued#lots of Makin Stuff drive still existing but not having a place to go.#fp was certainly more doable than baozhai so it was easy to latch on but#still not....really the kind of thing i actually Enjoy making#this one though. ohgghhgh i feel it. i feel the cosmos#i still dont think i'm actually going to complete it. the current projection is that i just make a shitty prototype and then#realize how impossible and unfun this is gonna be and then drop it. [but its fine bc i still got to make stuff and got the idea out]#however. that first pizza comic was also originally a single-image prototype to get the idea across bc#i didn't think i would actually draw out that whole thing either.#so i guess we'll just see what happens. now won't we.#poor fuckin noisette comic 2 man i put it off for so long and then finally get into it and then this happens#ill get back on it eventually this is just something i have to indulge while i have it and get it out of my system#its like evangelion. sometimes you have to write 8k words of analysis. and sometimes you gotta make a really stupid cosplay#anyway hey i should post the fp cosplay schematics huh. i meant to back when i first did them but then didnt. whoops#bweeeaaahh
17 notes · View notes
phagodyke · 10 months ago
Text
ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
2 notes · View notes
sodacowboy · 10 months ago
Text
some of y’all don’t understand the fun of a good argument and it makes y’all seem really boring
2 notes · View notes
dreadfuldevotee · 1 year ago
Text
i am just...so profoundly tired of being me
#char.txt#there is something that is so revolting about me I am incapable of shaking the shame of it#Theres nothing i can do to make myself happy its just not possible i think i have to accept that#but im tired of pretending for other people its so stupid#everything feels fake even when im being honest i dont know who this person is anymore#its just stupid idk im thinking about too many things#my life feels like it exists for other peoples entertainment and if im not interesting im failing and im wasting peoples time and energy#but i can't be alone anymore I legitimately cannot be alone anymore ive tried so hard it only makes things worse#I need to feel wanted and maybe its something im missing thats keeping me from feeling that way#but I feel so deeply that when i stop being funny or when the person ppl actually want to talk to comes around ill stop being relevant#i dont exist to people when im not infront of them and...idk i have to be okay with that because im never anything more#and like this genuinely isnt a dig because there are people who I am friends with who have access to see this and I don't want you to feel#like its something youve done cause its not your fault its kind of not even about any of you or the ppl wholl never see this#Its something im missing its something about me and i dont deserve cruelty ik that#but i can't make anyone want me more than they do and thats alright#i just know that ill always be second fiddle at best and it just exausts me sometime#its be easier if I liked me but I wouldnt wish my presence upon anyone#but im selfish and i need the attention or ill actually self destruct so here we are this is my boulder
2 notes · View notes
wild-at-mind · 1 year ago
Text
Also now I'm feeling really shit about not getting to anything for trans day of remembrance this year.
#i literally missed it because i suck :(#but also i've been feeling kind of weird sometimes about it#the name reading where you just know all the latin american names are mispronounced#this is the uk where it's harder to find a latinx person (or even a spanish person) to be able to help with that or do the reading#but still i think it needs some preparation beforehand if at all possible#i know these things don't have the greatest support network behind them but still :/#i just think there's something really sad about messing up the names of trans people specifically!#even if it's not in a misnaming/transphobic context#also i've seen the criticisms i know this can tend to be about white middle class trans people making it about ourselves#or something but i don't know what the solution to that is#and like any vigil maybe it's main purpose is as a symbol and to bring people together#i just remember in like 2018 when i travelled to the next town over (because there's nothing like that here)#and went to the before event and it was packed out#and my people from my bi/pan meetup group were there (i wish that group still existed :( )#some as allies and many as trans people because surprise tonnes of bi and pan people are trans way more than you'd think from the discourse#i was kind of in the in between space between ally and trans back then#i had no idea what i to do about that but in that moment i felt such love and compassion coming to me from that room#the kind i had trouble giving to myself#i think that has value even though i fully take on board the criticism of the day#we can say trans people murdered around the world are our siblings but we really have no idea what their lives are like#but maybe that's the key thing-that solidarity can still happen if we look outwards as well as inwards?#figuring out you're trans means looking inwards by necessity but we can also look outwards and say 'i can't ever fully understand#but i want to'#i don't know i feel weird tonight sorry to ramble :(
2 notes · View notes
binx0r · 2 years ago
Text
Legit question: would it be weird to tell someone
“It makes me happy to know you exist”
Bc like… that’s a sentiment I feel a lot esp when I don’t have the ability to interact as much as I’d like to with people but I see them living their lives and it gives me deeply good feelings
Like regardless of whether we cross paths I know you well enough to appreciate you’re part of the universe and that fact brings me joy
Like is that inappropriate in any way?
3 notes · View notes
valeriehalla · 6 months ago
Text
I am so utterly fascinated by “Saki”, the 18-year-running mahjong manga in which you, the reader, become gradually, frog-boilingly aware (over the course of nearly two decades’ worth of mahjong tournaments) that none of these girls are wearing underwear and most of their boobs are slowly expanding.
I need you to understand that I have, like, an anthropological level fascination with this comic. From the perspective of someone who is also a comic artist and writer, two things delight me about it:
the fact that I understand completely how an artist gets from “the fans can have a little hint of skirted asscheek” to “the pussy is completely out on center page” over the course of 18 years; and
the way in which the pussy being out is treated by the characters and diegesis as being utterly unremarkable.
Okay. Point 1. The frog-boiling.
Let me put this in perspective for you. There was already a meme about how the characters in “Saki” don’t wear underwear when I was in middle school. I am thirty now. Okay? And it’s still going.
In the time since, this has stopped being a joke. It is now indisputable canon. This is not because anyone outright says it at any point. It’s because the underwear ran out of places to hide. I’m obsessed with this thought: somewhere in the over 20 volumes of “Saki”, there is a panel in which underwear was objectively deconfirmed. And it would be so hard to figure out where that panel actually is. Maybe the artist didn’t even realize it when she drew it! The frog? Boiling!!
And of course there is also the breast expansion. I don’t know how to put a spin on this. They are just expanding. Like, this happens a lot with artists: you define a character as being, in your mind, “the one with the big boobs”, and over the years you emphasize that trait further and further so that the signal doesn’t get lost in the noise. It’s just that normally—in like a wildly popular manga series about mahjong published by literally Square Enix, for example—normally there would be a point at which the boobs stopped getting bigger. Like, an editor would step in or something. Or you would get to the point where you cannot draw the character in the same panel as her mahjong tiles without her breasts spilling over the tiles, and you’d go, “Well, this is now untenable.”
That did not happen. There is no ceiling. The frog is soup.
Point 2. The complete and utter mundanity of all of this.
It’s like this, okay: there’s no shortage of trashy ecchi manga out there. There’s a million other comics doing wildly bawdier things with wildly more improbable bishoujos.
The vibe with “Saki” is different.
It’s hard to explain this, but it feels like the world of the comic is fundamentally uninterested in the fanservice happening on the page. I cannot describe it as “leering”, because I cannot conceive of a person in the story from whose point of view one would leer. I think the artist is probably into it—I can’t imagine anyone is making her do this—but “Saki” the comic has no opinion on the matter.
There are essentially no male characters in “Saki”. Like, there was one guy? Kind of? At the very beginning? But he is gone now. They put him back in the toybox. He does not exist. It appears to be some level of canonical that in the world of “Saki”, almost all humans are women. Those women are sometimes romantically into each other. According to comments the artist has made on Twitter (which I cannot source), they have lesbian baby technology, so it’s no problem. It’s so much not a problem that the story is about mahjong, instead of any of that.
So, like, the fiction here appears to be this: this is the, like, meta-narrative of the fanservice of “Saki”, right: it’s just normal that they don’t wear underwear and their boobs are arbitrarily big. It’s been normal. It was normal before the story of the manga began. It’s just how things are. Nobody bats an eye about it, and if they do, it’s in sort of a lesbian kind of way so like what’s the problem, we love lesbians here. This is literally normal for girls.
The fanservice simply diffuses into this all-encompassing aura of disembodied, ambient sluttiness. The framing of the panels demands you acknowledge it, and the story demands you already be over it, because it’s mahjong time now, and we’re playing mahjong.
Do you get??? why I’m so fascinated??? Are you not a little enraptured???
Anyway, I have no idea how to end this weird post. I guess the conclusion is that women stay winning????
42K notes · View notes
probablyaseamonster · 10 months ago
Text
My paranoid ass, thinking I'm gonna get murdered at any time any time I go outside but even sometimes within the house, getting back into TMA because "nooo, it won't affect me" *pointedly doesn't listen to s1 episode 3 on rebinges*
Goes to the bathroom at 1 AM (the night is the only time I'm actively safe that's my excuse), housemate left the window open (not such an issue now that it's spring), *fucking distorted noise that seems logically to be emanating from a car but is NOT A FUCKING CAR SOUND IN ANY SETTING and also sounds stupidly fictional like a common SFX to boot*
"Ah, so this is when I get killed. They gonna frame this as a suicide aren't they. And goddamnit my hair is doing the anime mom thing I explicitly do Not want to be the fridged trope but I guess my protests were always ignored. I wonder if I have time to write up a will or if they're coming any second"
And being CHILL about that shit-?
1 note · View note
Text
You know I just went around and picked up things that fell out of Dad's van when he was out rambling.
#You can say my ego gets in the way but i#t feels often like an offshoot of my humility#yet you know I am just like....doing things like existing sometimes here and it just....well I don't like being at people's beck and call#mac book....damn nigga#oddly I needed that right then though#sorry for our beautiful reptile eyes#sometimes that spirit if the night fucks with myself but the other side of it is do good#you could call all the chess pieces pawns because it is the game master who is king#so my sez puts women under spells#I don't do it on purpose most of the time#I just want to beach and sir puff a lot#but...yeah like it's important for you and I to hang out as only some kind of bipolar siamese twins would#and on a level like titles and certifications don't amount to much#but like....I did tell you how I would do you if it came down to it#And I think you got off knowing how bad I wanted it yet still on the outside showed a cool control about things#but after a while it became like when you drive and don't really think about it#it's not really Isis it's isis#like..... we've haven't been left alone in a room in years together#this is what I call a loaded opportunity#even the weird pa account is sending caricatures of thr van man#and I will tell you what#that son of a bitch did paint a mickey pitching#and I did pop a minnie after all#....I like the big bows.... they're sexy#do you out everything under bbc with us primarily or bwc#or guy strokes bbc while he watches two women#the butterfly effect#except you didn't like change my history you just pointed out that's you there a bunch#so you know how surreal it is to realize it's you but not just you the insane worker or demure teacher#or post man kidnapper....although I wouod have liked to see you try to hold me prisoner with nothing but you and your....powers
0 notes
demaparbat-hp · 5 months ago
Note
Hiya!! 👋🏼😄 How's it going? Your fashion taste for Zuko in a Modern AU seems to be artsy, or maybe "formal" is the word. That shirt he wore when he gave Sokka romantic song advice looked Versace🧐. Anyway, I was wondering how you came up with it, he always struck me more as the type that didn´t care much about fashion, so I'm curious about other´s opinions and heacanons about it. And do you have any other fashion headcanons for the rest of the GAang? Also, their music tastes. How did you come up with them? Especially Katara's! 😍
Hello! As it happens, I have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings™ about this, so I'm leaving these over here, and the rest of my ramblings down below the cut!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Let us begin with the Gaang, shall we?
SUKI always struck me as that Pretty Girl from the Gym. She is so incredibly fit it isn't even funny. She could kick anyone's ass, and we'd all thank her. She has this casual gym style that somehow always looks glorious on her, as it should! Comfy yet fashionable clothes for a nice workout or a day in town.
Her music tastes are basically any and all power songs from the eighties and nineties. (Eye of the Tiger, anyone?) She also enjoys metal via Toph, and bands like BSB, NSYNC, or Boyz II Men with Katara. My girl has a very eclectic Playlist and we all love her for it.
SOKKA is That Guy™. Loose T-shirts and shorts everywhere he goes, no matter the weather. He's stupidly into fashion but it doesn't show! At all! And everyone teases him about it. His closet is about 90% Cactus Juice merchandise, hence the "it's the quenchiest!" shirt.
His fashion and music tastes are pretty much the same. He loves poetry but isn't really into lyrics. He'll misinterpret just about anything you place in front of him. His Playlist is mostly vibes and tiktok songs he kind of enjoys. He isn't really into music...at least not as much as his sister.
AANG owns exactly one hoodie, one pair of shorts, and one beanie (THE beanie). Oh, and the crocs—don't forget the crocs. Somehow, he's always wearing the exact same outfit. Every. Single. Day. Ancient Gaang lore suggests that the day Aang goes out without his beanie, it's the end of the world.
His Playlist is the poppiest, most bizarre thing ever. Every single song is Happy by Pharrell Williams levels of happy. Yet sometimes, among the bouncy dance-to songs, you'll find the strangest of things... (He does know what Good Day by Twenty One Pilots is about. That's the reason he likes it so much, actually. And it's so weird.)
KATARA is all about sundresses and loose pants. The epitome of comfortable loveliness. Light fabrics in blue shades, careful embroidery, delicate shoes, and little to no accessories—hers is a simple, yet quite adorable, style. She just needs to add more colors to her usual palette...
She is, first and foremost, a Florence + The Machine girl. It's the Dark Goddess of the Sea vibes, to be honest. Florence Welch is her idol and yes, she will fight you about lyrics interpretation, and win. It may not seem like it, but her music tastes are also very varied.
She draws a little from each member of the Gaang, so you'll hear her humming along to Gorillaz (where did you even find out about them, Aang?), The Weeknd (I...don't think this song means what you think it means, Sokka...), and Hozier (Zuko why did you dedicate Talk to me, Zuko WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT).
TOPH...ah, lovely girl. I'll summarise everything about Toph’s fashion sense in two words: comfort and rebellion. Stuffy dresses forced on her by billionaire parents? No thank you! Give her tank tops with loose shirts and short pants. Bandaids shared with Aang, bracelets from Katara, and even piercings she got in tandem with Sokka. Shoes? What even is that?
Something I love about this fandom is our collective agreement that Toph is into the dirtiest, heaviest, most ear-splitting and soul-crushing death metal of all times. Her Playlist is full of the most obscure names to ever exist, and she can and will blast through your walls with the sheer volume of her speaker.
Zuko. ZUKO.
Even in a modern AU my boy must suffer. That being said, I envision Tales from the Couch as—well, exactly what it is: an ATLA modern AU. While there is not a war to fight, and a lot of plot lines are discarded or expanded upon, much about the core story remains the same.
This is my way of saying that Zuko still goes trough his redemption arc, and it reflects on his fashion choices.
The way you described it works perfectly because of one single reason: in this AU, Zuko is an artist. He had to suppress his love for writing and drawing because of his background and the expectations Ozai had for him (taking over the family company), and a very large part of his redemption arc directly affects his relationship with art.
In the Couch equivalent of S1, Zuko has fallen out of Ozai's graces, and is desperate to protect his place in the company and the Kasai household. He's pretending to be someone he isn't and trying to live up to his Father's image of a perfect heir while still being somewhat cut-off financially, and it shows.
He's all about imposing long coats and a semi-formal style, imitating what he knows Azula and Father would respect. He's striking and sharp and dark. But no matter how he dresses or carries himself (that air of cold superiority and arrogance)—it won't help him when he needs it the most.
In S2, Zuko has hit his lowest point. He's officially disinherited and tossed away by his father, and would be out in the streets if it wasn't for Uncle Iroh. He goes from sharp, high-tailored outfits to old second-hand clothes that hang loosely on his frame. He starts smoking and cuts his hair off, forgoing the undercut for the first time in years.
But then...Father accepts him back. When Zuko returns home, it's with respect to his name and a very high position in his father's company. He's finally the perfect Kasai heir, dressed in overly expensive suits and finery, even at home... But Father forbids him from wearing Lu Ten's earring, and Zuko can no longer recognize himself without the familiar glint of gold dancing on his peripheral vision.
When Zuko leaves the Kasai name behind him and goes back to living with Uncle Iroh...he's finally at peace with who he is, and what he wants in this life. The sharp edges aren't gone (they'll always be a part of him, after all), but now they're dulled by looser clothes and softer hairstyles.
He's an artist, and for once in his life, he is determined to pursue his own ambitions. Zuko's outfits may not be designer-made anymore, but he takes what he has and makes himself look like he wants to look, like the person he wants to be.
He doesn't read fashion magazines or keeps up to the latest trends like Azula does. He's just...Zuko. And his newfound confidence makes everything he wears look like it belongs on him.
As for music...well, Ursa raised a literature boy.
He loves lyric-heavy music and natural voices, be they soothing or powerful. Dissecting song meanings and possible interpretations with Katara is one of his favorite parts of the day. They're both very passionate and strong-minded individuals, so it stands to reason that their debates can get quite...heated.
Zuko's Playlist is both incredibly eclectic and somehow very...him. There's a common thread that binds together every song and artist he likes, and he's hilariously unaware of this. To take a look into his Playlist is a higher honor reserved only for those closest to him.
In the wide spectrum of things, it is no wonder that Zuko is, first and foremost, a Hozier man. But though Andrew is his God in all aspects of this life, there's someone else that has had a huge impact on him...
Two someones, actually.
Zuko refuses to tell anyone how he got into Twenty One Pilots, but it's kind of a moot point when the beginning of his obsession is nothing compared to everything that came after. They have just about the right amount of everything that makes Zuko...well, Zuko. The poetic lyrics, the soothing or raging music, the heavy, intensely resonant themes...
Up there, in the second artwork, I placed an album cover behind each period of Zuko's life. The election of these records is intentional, as I feel like their general themes work incredibly well with Zuko's arc and growth.
Blurryface in S1. For the demons within us. For giving a name to our fears and shame.
Trench in S2. For escaping the confined walls of a depression city, and fighting to understand the depths of the map of your mind.
Scaled and Icy in the first half of S3. For returning to places you had left behind. For convincing yourself and everyone around you that you're fine, that you're perfect, even though everything is crumbling inside...
Clancy in S3. For recognizing that you can backslide, that you can have fears and shame and pain—but you're shaping yourself with each step you take. For knowing that seeking help from others is okay. Nobody learns to walk on their own.
(And, in the end, you'll always be better than the person you were yesterday. If only because you're still here. You're still alive. You're still yourself.)
.
Overall, I rambled a bit too much, don't you think?
If you made it all the way down here—thank you so much for reaching out and being interested in this crazy AU! I hope you enjoy these ideas and tell me some of your own ❤️
4K notes · View notes