#like its something youve done cause its not your fault its kind of not even about any of you or the ppl wholl never see this
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dreadfuldevotee · 1 year ago
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i am just...so profoundly tired of being me
#char.txt#there is something that is so revolting about me I am incapable of shaking the shame of it#Theres nothing i can do to make myself happy its just not possible i think i have to accept that#but im tired of pretending for other people its so stupid#everything feels fake even when im being honest i dont know who this person is anymore#its just stupid idk im thinking about too many things#my life feels like it exists for other peoples entertainment and if im not interesting im failing and im wasting peoples time and energy#but i can't be alone anymore I legitimately cannot be alone anymore ive tried so hard it only makes things worse#I need to feel wanted and maybe its something im missing thats keeping me from feeling that way#but I feel so deeply that when i stop being funny or when the person ppl actually want to talk to comes around ill stop being relevant#i dont exist to people when im not infront of them and...idk i have to be okay with that because im never anything more#and like this genuinely isnt a dig because there are people who I am friends with who have access to see this and I don't want you to feel#like its something youve done cause its not your fault its kind of not even about any of you or the ppl wholl never see this#Its something im missing its something about me and i dont deserve cruelty ik that#but i can't make anyone want me more than they do and thats alright#i just know that ill always be second fiddle at best and it just exausts me sometime#its be easier if I liked me but I wouldnt wish my presence upon anyone#but im selfish and i need the attention or ill actually self destruct so here we are this is my boulder
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the-s1lly-corner · 2 months ago
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YAYAY hello sillycorner admin!! i love ur stuff yum
i'd like to request jax, zooble and gangle (seperately) with a (gn or fem) reader that's a slinky dog :3 slinky middle of arms (no elbows), slinky between their chest and lower body (so they have no tummy, just slinky!)
if personality suggestions are allowed, optimistic and sweet !! a chill lil guy even
thank u!! mwamwa
Jax, Zooble, Gangle x slinky dog!reader
Writing a bunch of post openings on my new phone to try to encourage my hands to get used to the new feel but the actual posts will be written on my laptop for the time being WOO YEAH BABY
Notes: reader is GN, jax is a little mean to the shock of no one, zooble and gangle can be read as romantic or platonic, jax isnt really... written as romantic... hes actually kind of an ass
CWs: none
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JAX
pushes you a lot, but he does it a lot less as you two grow closer... the second he sees stairs he wants to see if he can send you down them and if youll move just like a normal slinky
sometimes puts things hes found into your springs for you to hang onto for him until he wants them later down the line... sometimes it actually does make your constant movement a little less constant- it keeps the coils closer together... its actually a little nice
you sometimes make him sick with how carefree and cheerful you are- no one is that relaxed about everything, youve got to have something going on in there, theres got to be something thats going to make you snap and by god hes going to find it if its the last thing he does
grows increasingly exasperated when each attempt to get you even a little angry fails... youre almost tempted to fake a reaction just to give him the satisfaction... its actually a little pathetic to watch him lose so much sleep over it
ZOOBLE
their singular eye follows you as you bob up and down until you settle into a still position- probably one of the only things they cant ignore because its so distracting... not that they think youre at fault or bad for it, they do think itd cause so many headaches with all the rocking and motion though
youre cheerful in contrast to their... not so cheerfulness. you try to convince them to join you on adventures but they always turn you down... you dont ever stop asking though... never pushy though, you take their answer when they give it to you for that day
you both have unconventional bodies and when you feel a little down about it, they can relate to you. they hate that their body falls apart easy, and that it doesnt feel quite right. and youre not too thrilled about bobbing all over the place and constantly falling over the place at gravitys mercy
they give you an amused huff whenever you try to tell a joke or use your springs as a prop to try to make them laugh... they dont really find it funny but they know you would feel good that they appreciate the effort
GANGLE
she sometimes gets her ribbons stuck in your springs.... please help her get out before it gets worse! its a total nightmare for both of you when she gets more than a little bit of herself stuck in you
cuddling has to be done slowly and you both need to be hyper aware of each others movements to avoid any tangle mishaps
youre both not the most stable either- ribbon isnt the strongest, and slinkys tend to go all over with just a little push
you.... actually both bond over that after you both have a particularly bad day with balance and keeping upright
youre so sweet to her and manage to get her to feel better even when her comedy mask has been broken
when out together on adventures you tend to point at everything you see and ask if she can draw it... a lot of the time youre trying to lighten the mood when things dont go as planned... you use your spring arms to stretch and push the point
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stevie-petey · 9 months ago
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Hi! I know it's pretty late to be asking this but I got a random blurb idea at three in the morning so I thought I'd send it in before I forgot it. It's for season one, episode 5/6.
After Steve finds Jonathan and Nancy in her bed and tells bug she deserves better he drives off with Tommy and Carol. Basically his POV that whole car ride. He's grieving, in disbelief and heartbreak. He's angry and sad, not only for himself but for bug. Tommy and Carol are only riling him up at this point. Remember how Tommy or Carol said something like " wow Steve you're right she really is pathetic to still stay with him" maybe we see the convo where that came from. I feel like he was excited to be around who he thought were Nancy's friends outside of barb, and it all came crashing down.
Again this is really random and super late but I was just thinking about season one Steve and this scenario popped into my head. For being such a little shit Steve really is handsome.
i loooove this idea omg yes ! n never apologize for sending blurbs i love doin em
enjoy <3
"did henderson really defend that creep?" carol practically throws herself over the drivers seat in disbelief of what steve has just said.
"she did." steve tightens his hands around the steering wheel. his mind is reeling. hes hurt, hes so fucking hurt, and hes angry. for you, for what nancy has done to him, for what jonathan has done to you. for years youve been his little pet, always doting on the boy, and he still has the fucking nerve to hurt you like this. "shes pathetic."
the words burn steves tongue. he regrets them immediately.
tommy snorts. "i mean, yeah. shes hot, but at least have some self respect, ya know?"
the boys words only cause steve to tighten his grip on the steering wheel harder. youre not pathetic; youre selfless. youre so fucking selfless and always see the good in people. it infuriates steve. youre everything and more, and hes seen people abuse this rare kindness for years. make fun of you for it, mock you as if the kindness you bring isnt a breath of fresh air for everyone.
he hears a yelp next to him and steve knows that carol has slapped tommy for calling another girl hot in front of her.
"i just dont get it," steve sighs out. theres so much he wants to ask, to say and plead and demand. he cant get the betrayal in your eyes out of his head. youd looked devasted when hed told you what he saw at nancys. how jonathan had been wrapped around her.
and yet even as the hurt crossed upon your face, you still managed to swallow down the hurt and see the good in people.
in the people who didnt fucking deserve it.
"fuck if i know, man." tommy rubs at his arm and glares at carol.
she simply rolls her eyes at him and goes back to picking at her nails. "why do we assume she even knows how to do anything other than put on that angelic act bullshit?"
"what, like she doesnt know how to be mean?" tommy asks, furrowing his brows.
steve stares straight ahead. "all shes ever been is kind."
"exactly," carol throws herself against the drivers seat again. "whos to say its real? not some creepy act? better yet: how do we know shes not, like, fucked up in the head?"
youre not. steve has seen your intelligence. youre the top of your class and hes had to shamefully ask you for help with english homework.
tommy frowns again. "wait, i thought she was smart."
"god, youre dumb." carol shakes her head. "what i mean is, what if she physically incapable of being mean. like, some chemical imbalance in her brain."
"could explain her freakish devotion to byers." tommy says.
steves grip tightens once more hearing the boys name. jonathan byers. resident creep who somehow has captured the heart of hawkins sweetheart. the same boy who has now cheated on her with steves girlfriend.
he will never understand this.
nancy has hurt him, shes abandoned him like everyone else has, and he knows that somehow its his fault.
but you? you dont deserve any of this.
what carol has said makes sense. maybe you really dont know how to be mean. if youre physically incapable of it, then steve decides that he has to do something about it.
if you need to be mean, then he'll be mean for you.
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herbert-west · 1 month ago
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"it is absolutely not disrespectful to the creator of a gif for me to say i killed ashley" It is. People don't create content with characters they don't like. Every gif you see, every piece of art, every fic is a love letter to certain characters. And you just came in and stomped your little foot and said, "Well, I don't like her!"
Again, you could have done that in a separate post, but instead you yelled it in the creator's face. It's disrespectful. It's not about Ashley, it's about you deciding to insert your very important opinion where it shouldn't be, wasting their time and insulting them. Reblog the stuff you like, avoid the stuff you hate, you're an adult, you should have figured that out by now. "because yelling at me for putting a tag on a post i reblogged is genuinely not mature, normal adult behavior" Dude, you showed the most basic disrespect to the creator, got called out for it (without even mentioning your name), and instead of handling the situation like an adult, you doubled down. You caused it. It's completely your fault.
And no one is yelling at you, I'm not your fucking parent, I'm just kindly asking you to avoid doing something like this in the future because getting tags like this or nasty replies to your posts really fucking sucks and I don't wish it on anyone.
If this falls on deaf ears, so be it, at least I tried.
kindly asking me?? i think you may be so deeply entrenched in the tumblr discourse wars that youve forgotten how to talk to people. again, it is not disrespectful for me to tag a post. thats not yelling in the creators face, its tagging a post.
this is just so insanely dramatic 😂 i have tagged a million posts with a million opinions and never have i ever had this kind of wild response. take care of yourself
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numbaoneflaya · 3 years ago
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Can I get a list of all ur ocs?
Well anon youve done it, you made me make a list of all my major OCS in one place. I hope your happy with yourself. Under the cut for obvious reasons, may link in my blog desc later.
Modern/BTD verse!!
Jilly- Ferret beastkin little creature, was recently turned into a werewolf by vincent as well so she's running around on full moons in a wereferret wolf hybrid creature form. Chaotic and friendly and wants to be everyone's bestie. She has the most energy in the world and is very kind hearted. Banned from most Claires for stealing and from one Home Depot for climbing the shelves. Prone to living life with rose colored glasses on and seeing the best in everything/everything even when there's nothing there. Socialization is a must for her and is why being basemented/kidnapped broke her psych so quickly and developed severe stockholm. Sometimes overly talkative/enthusiastic and can scare people off. Even if she sees someone shes decided shes friends with be noticeably 'evil', will convince herself it must be for some reason/her fault and ignore it.
Ciggy- Undead punk still learning to harness his powers to interact with the world as a ghost. Was sacrificed by a cult he joined for free concert tickets and to get laid. Likes to cause problems on purpose both pre and prior death and he's not above possessing someone once he learns how to. Was called Rooster in high school before he dropped out because he's loud, obnoxious and always screaming. And also has bright red dyed hair. Looking 4 ways to become less ghosty bcs he wants to be able to help raise his infant daughter, whom he died before he could meet. Bit annoying and in your face, likes poking at bruises, his or others. Kind of a sad heart seeking attention through volume and persistence.
Mike: Vampire loser! Sells drugs and lives at raves. Was turned when she was attacked by a coked out vampire (whom she supplied the product to) and has major scarring on her face and chest. Needs a somewhat constant influx of blood so shell sometimes take victims back to her place and chain them up, slowly draining them over time. Feels bad (ish) about it tho so it is possible to survive her if you are nice and or interesting enough. Kind of desperate for a friend and for love. Is a stalker. If she likes you enough/finds you interesting, she might just appear in your house one night and start rummaging through your fridge like nothing is wrong and youve been besties for years. Its best to indulge her and be friendly, otherwise she could turn violent quickly if her feelings are hurt.
Kilaine- Regular human woman, but fucked up. Born and raised by an elite waspy society she had an interest in the human body and pain tolerance since she was young. Quickly learned that these traits were socially unacceptable in most professions, so she became a doctor. The only family she cared about was her younger sister who she lost in a car accident, where they were flipped over and trapped inside while it was afire. While her sister burned up in front of her Kilaine only lost her left arm and had major burns on her body. This tipped her descent into sadism and she is now madly obsessed with bringing her sister back no matter the cost. Rude and offstandish, clinical.
Dragon age verse!
Thurwen- My main Hero of Ferelden with a bad temper and a heart of gold. City elf from the Denerim Alienage, 18 at the start of origins. She's a reaver warrior with a lot of pent up rage which sometimes scares others when she lets it out in battle. Over the years she's grown less moody as she's had to take the role of Commander. Crude sense of humor and violent impulses, very sensitive to the plights of others and tries often to help. Never seen crying in public but only cries to herself at night- major martyr and hanged man complex.
Caz- My circle mage elf inquisitor who was an apostate before the conclave. Blood magic, but make it sneaky. Wary of strangers and new faces, always dealing with the impulse to flee/find a high vantage point. Endless curiosity about the unknown/ the forbidden/ naughty, was supposed to be made tranquil for it but she escaped. Kind of a little creature as well, lived on her own for a while as an apostate in the woods, filed her teeth down to sharp ends to make herself look more intimidating (shes 5 ft tall) and less cute (her elf ears are huge and expressive, which shes embarrassed about)
Dag and Thagna- Carta twins! Professional lyrium smugglers since birth pretty much. Raised casteless in dust town and had to work their way up the chain of command by themselves. Dag is the brother, Thagna the sister. Their father traded them to the carta for drinking money and their mom died in childbirth so they have somewhat of a codependent relationship. Both charismatic and calculating, friendly and agreeable but won't hesitate to put a dagger in your back. Hard to pin down morally or physically, squirrelly bastards.
Reila: Dalish elf who works for the inquisition/ is the inquisitor in some aus. She has an extreme fixation on elvhen history and rebuilding what they have lost. Not a people person, prefers solitude. Takes some time to warm up to shemhlen as she has a hard history with them. Good friends with Caz, who recruited her in the first place. Doesn't understand very many social cues and finds societal expectations limiting and frustrating. Fondness for halla and hooved animals, which she finds graceful.
Elder scrolls verse!
Valkya: Near seven foot nord woman whos over a thousand years old by the events of skyrim. Tall and buff, two handed warrior and compulsive hero there to bask in the spotlight save the day. She was killed at the start of the events of Elder scrolls online and had her soul ripped out and sent to coldharbor and she's just been a pain in the ass about it since then. Her body can physically die and will not regrow pieces. Her soul however will escape and teleport to the nearest source of power where her body will regrow from an aetherial plasm until its whole again. Loud and brash, friendly and jovial. Actually pretty keen especially after centuries of life but prefers to play dumb as it makes people underestimate her. Plus, she really does enjoy mud wrestling and drinking contests and acting generally like a rambunctious frat boy. Ha developed a bit of a substance problem and a problem with acting out, as after being alive so long she would turn to anything to dull the ache inside of her that never goes away.
Espira- My Dragonborn! Redguard from Hammerfell who was briefly in the Ash’abah due to killing undead while protecting her parents water farm as a child. Ran away from them after years and went to Cyrodille, then to Skyrim and was caught crossing the border. Reserved, kind and soft spoken, she's a sword and shield warrior who's committed herself to doing good in the world by helping others. Dislikes killing and anything messy but believes it is often necessary in order to protect the weak. She blacksmiths often to save money on the upkeep of her own equipment, and takes up metal jewelry working as a hobby with the excess material. Prone to trusting others too much and giving too many second chances, as shes always looking for ways to make even the most hardened criminal a second look at life.
Riley- Espiras little brother who she locked in the wardrobe during the event of the water farm attack. In preventing him from doing violence against the undead she kept him from being conscripted into the Ash’abah. He's way more chaotic than his sister, and suffers from a case of little sibling syndrome in which he will often pester/poke at people just to get a rise out of them. Still kind hearted as his sister, he tries to hide it because he believes that the world is a cruel place and the cruel survive. Despite that belief he is often still unable to force himself to be cruel/careless, only making a show of it so that others leave him alone and don't see that he's very sensitive and emotional. Deaf in one ear due to a magic mishap in his youth, he trained and enchanted his most beloved rats to live for years and sit on his shoulder, alerting him to noises he would not otherwise notice.
Felria: Evil vamp :/ chaotic evil dunmer necromancer. Small and devilish and likes dead bodies too much. Manipulative and cunning, she loves acting. She's a trained assassin for the dark brotherhood and is the speaker. Likes dressing up for missions and wearing disguises like its all a play. Loves toying with people more than she loves killing them, will act in ways that cause as much trauma as possible for other people just for fun and she finds the reactions interesting. Considers herself too far removed from most people's perception of morality and of her so it's hard for her to trust someone or see them as worthy of knowing her. Finds the psychology of grief and fear to be interesting and wants to study them first hand. The hero of kvatch.
Herren: Fifty something year old rat woman looking for something to keep her going. Ran away from her wealthy family in her youth when they wanted her to take charge of the household, instead became an infamous jewel thief and swashbuckler. Spent most of her life traveling and stealing and double dealing. She's smarmy and sarcastic, a serial romancer of the highest caliber. Bit of a show off and a hedonist, always looking for the next good party or new product to snort. Her family died off due to the hard times she wasn't there for and she keeps looking for bigger and bigger heists to fill her appetite as she's chronically bored and lonely, though wont accept intimacy and will scoff at it out of the belief she doesn't deserve it. Irresponsible and selfish, lonely and terrified of any sort of commitment. Fun to party with though!
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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago
Text
Joe & Ronnie
Joe: Hey
Joe: my flatmate has some work I reckon your mate might be interested in
Joe: but it’ll sound a bit dodgy coming from me so you wanna pass it along?
Joe: moneys alright for no real work, depending on how you look at it
Ronnie: never done any work as a secretary myself
Ronnie: write your own fucking love notes
Joe: I see that
Joe: your accent down the 📞?
Joe: no cunt here’d understand you, never mind the demeanour
Joe: yeah, well, it’d really seem that way
Joe: but I actually need someone to take her off my hands
Ronnie: racism as foreplays playing to the wrong crowd hes more into homo bashing
Ronnie: errr dunno how you read his demeanor mckenna but he aint taken a her off anyones hands since before any of us had phones
Joe: i’ll keep that in mind
Joe: well homophobic of me to not tell him myself so he’s welcome for the freebie
Joe: not actual escorting
Joe: she does art, her life drawing class needs a model
Joe: I ain’t fucking doing that
Joe: tell me I ain’t 📖 him right on that one
Ronnie: fucks sake if youd said it was cash for cock wed be done talking already
Joe: I just did
Joe: sound, she’ll be made up, she’ll get off my case, and he’ll get £15 an hour, apparently 👌
Ronnie: sexist not to ask me
Ronnie: pass that on to your little gf
Joe: weren’t her idea to ask Charlie
Joe: you’ll have to take up that grievance with me as well
Joe: I’ll just point out it’d be even weirder if I’d have asked you
Ronnie: you wish
Ronnie: how much £ you offering me to bang you
Joe: if I did no point paying you to do it for her and her class and not me
Joe: that’s an interesting take on cucking though, loads that would go for it, I’m sure
Ronnie: ill write it down as youve made me go hunting for a pen in this shithole
Joe: cheers
Joe: take 20% commission or whatever
Joe: or take the IOU I owe him for doing this
Ronnie: you said it hed do this for fuck all ill take the lot and mary wont know it was a paid gig
Joe: if he can fend the flatmate off, undoubtedly a load of art gays he can have his pick of
Ronnie: that what youre telling yourself for why you dont want me to do it yeah
Joe: you wanna do it?
Ronnie: i want you to admit the reason you dont want me to is cause he scrubs up enough for horse girl and her course mates not to stage an intervention
Joe: not what it is so no
Joe: I know I don’t want to get my shit out in front of a load of middle class kids who know fuck all about fuck all, so I assumed as much for you
Ronnie: dont ever assume fuck all for or about me
Joe: why do you wanna do it so bad when like you said, you can pocket the cash and get him to?
Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking do it
Joe: well that’s grand ‘cos I reckon Sophie wants to see dick so
Joe: she’d be really let down
Ronnie: usually what gets you off
Ronnie: but im made up youre in love now like
Joe: please, she either don’t get it’s weird to ask me which means she’s some kind of special
Joe: or this is the start of her 50 shades fantasy and I have to be the let down to end all let downs and i’m already doing my best
Ronnie: rem is right to pay for it when she could just walk in on you taking a piss or having a shower
Joe: when you’re just a creep and not a predator 💔
Joe: not the girl my parents warned me about
Ronnie: if theyd be the type to go down the stables theyd have seen the other side of her
Joe: you’ve got your own daydreams, alright
Joe: put out the feelers, who isn’t a little gay these days, right
Ronnie: go ed and pass on ive got a bigger dick than him and she will have
Ronnie: i dont dream 💔
Joe: shame she isn’t equally inspiring for you
Joe: or anyone, really
Ronnie: cry about it with him when youre done pimping
Joe: what do you dream about then, when you’re awake
Ronnie: what you cant read me
Joe: clearly not
Joe: dashed your modelling dreams
Ronnie: blind and not able to read braille must be dead hard for you
Joe: is that sympathy?
Joe: or you offering me 🖐 to 👩🏼‍🦲 time
Ronnie: again you wish
Ronnie: 💭💉
Ronnie: cant make it any easier to understand soz
Joe: maybe I do
Joe: far as 💭s go
Ronnie: fuck maybe you do or you dont
Joe: well it ain’t why I don’t want to get my arms out for her
Joe: not tried it
Joe: but not a no
Ronnie: give a shit what you do or dont want to do for or to her
Joe: that is a no, tah
Ronnie: tell her not me baby
Joe: that’s not a big sister duty?
Joe: gutted
Ronnie: wouldnt know im the middle kid dorothy does that for us
Joe: i’ll ask him when i’m crying on him then
Joe: make a change for me
Ronnie: hot
Ronnie: rack up the ious like a fat line hes gonna be made up
Joe: oi he’s like family ain’t he
Ronnie: &
Ronnie: you wanna fuck your mam
Ronnie: not oi ing you
Joe: well you get to think about me and him, you gave me her and you, not fair
Ronnie: life aint soft lad
Ronnie: and stopping at thinking about shit is the difference between me and you
Joe: I get it, you’ve gone there
Joe: purely here for the homophobia
Ronnie: your kinks match 💘
Ronnie: purely there so the lads dont kick off before hes got his kicks
Joe: see, you’ve got it in you 💘
Joe: the sisterly thing
Joe: my hate don’t get expressed by putting me in him though so I won’t run my mouth
Ronnie: not what ive got in me but im not giving you the talk just cause your ma didnt
Joe: you want a virgin to defile reckon Soph and her mates are prime, vampira
Ronnie: set it up with her ill show if i get no better offers
Joe: lucky girl
Joe: no more nights in doing doodles of cute girls that look like you
Ronnie: we dont look alike youll have to accept theyre of you
Joe: i fit less than you, by far
Ronnie: fuck off
Joe: sorry
Joe: it’s weird, say the least
Ronnie: i fit nowhere she made sure i dont
Joe: ditto
Joe: so buzzing i can write shit songs about it though
Ronnie: no
Ronnie: weve got fuck all in common
Joe: just the same mother
Joe: who put her shitty genetics and choices on us both at different times
Ronnie: i ain’t got a mother you cant cross out the un from wanted and act like its the same word
Joe: incubator then
Joe: she was 19 and still fucked, don’t think they had a five-year plan down
Joe: worse if she did, the state of
Ronnie: she made 1 choice for me shes still controlling you
Ronnie: were not the fucking same
Joe: you reckon
Ronnie: if you wanna claim it aint her fault youre this big of a pussy try it
Joe: you don’t think it’s my fault?
Joe: woah, just say you love me
Ronnie: i dont think about you when you aint trying to compare us
Joe: hot
Joe: I’ve thought about you plenty
Joe: uni ain’t that interesting
Ronnie: you came looking for me werent the other way round
Ronnie: you ain’t interesting to me mckenna
Joe: you reckon you’re fascinating, yeah?
Joe: fair enough
Ronnie: if your flatmate knows anyone doing doc film making they can wank over me lying in the gutter when youre done
Joe: nah
Joe: you don’t want control of your narrative
Ronnie: i dont want a narrative
Joe: then i’ll be the only wanker
Ronnie: in your dreams
Joe: well you painted such a lovely visual
Ronnie: black screen would get you going can stay in your own fucked head with no interference then like
Joe: Static is my kink
Joe: you know me so well
Ronnie: your fucking kink is not shutting the hell up til i do
Joe: i’m a gentleman
Joe: and i’m taking that review
Ronnie: youll get a lengthy one from my big brother when you are
Joe: you don’t have to settle for hearing it and getting your kicks second-hand
Joe: I’ll have to be somewhere to be unavailable for this life drawing class
Joe: let’s do something
Ronnie: what you paying me to babysit
Joe: you can ask my mammy or you can see what you can get
Ronnie: if i was gonna talk to her it wouldnt be about you
Joe: thank god
Joe: so take the risk
Ronnie: of what
Ronnie: boring me is asking too much of you
Joe: that’s surely a given
Joe: risk anything but
Ronnie: if I need rescuing again ill call you thats the only given Joe: you’re worse than her
Joe: christian grey or superman, like
Joe: gonna be BFFs yous, I can tell
Ronnie: you dont like being compared to cunts youre nothing like either funny that
Joe: touche
Joe: come on, what would convince you
Ronnie: if youre gonna beg then beg and if youre gonna show me something do it
Joe: I know you’d like to hear me beg but I can’t tell what you’d wanna see
Ronnie: then the answers nothing
Joe: nah
Joe: the answers you want to wait or you wanna be disappointed
Ronnie: why the fuck would I want either of those things
Joe: that’s what I’ll give you then
Joe: the opposite of that
Ronnie: thats meant to convince me yeah
Joe: nah, I am
Ronnie: like fuck will you
Joe: see, you want to be disappointed
Ronnie: ill be disappointed want has fuck all to do with it
Joe: if you don’t come and see
Ronnie: come where
Joe: see me
Joe: i’m new in town, I don’t know where to go
Joe: fuck sightseeing
Ronnie: [somewhere she’d hang out]
Ronnie: go there
Joe: now?
Ronnie: whenever you dont know where to go
Joe: okay
Joe: and I’ll see you there when you don’t
Ronnie: when im not fucking either of our flatmates
Joe: when you’re done being disappointed
Ronnie: when you prove yourself as not
Joe: you’ll see
Joe: I can’t show you over the phone
Ronnie: you could
Ronnie: im going nowhere on a bullshit promise cause im not a meff teenager
Joe: and I ain’t young enough to think that’s a good idea either
Joe: pictures not doing no favours
Joe: if you’re there and i’m there
Ronnie: big if
Joe: I never know where to be
Ronnie: newborn i heard you
Joe: something like that
Joe: if you can’t leave soph alone I’ll do my best begging 🥺
Ronnie: she cant leave you alone id be doing you a favour
Joe: true
Joe: wouldn’t wanna be caught doing that though
Ronnie: let you do the clean up after ive killed and ate her id be caught well fast for that instead
Joe: you’d get caught for being three times your size
Joe: she’s a big girl
Joe: you should share, be sworn to secrecy
Ronnie: doing her a favour i shouldve said
Ronnie: fuck all going for her
Joe: way to get in shape
Joe: she’ll appreciate us using her blood for something artsy on the walls
Ronnie: ill ask the basic white bitch i live with to give me a clue
Joe: 🍆 will be appropriate for her
Ronnie: 🐎
Joe: they might reckon she did it with her dying breath
Joe: very artist of her, dying how she lived
Ronnie: hurry the fuck up with your confession song if you want credit
Joe: you wanna hear me confessing so bad
Joe: but I might be able to hand that in so
Joe: hold on
Ronnie: it aint me whos a choir boy
Joe: ugh, I wish
Ronnie: cant chat shit about us having the same fantasies ive been touched by a old bloke wearing a dress and i dont rate it
Ronnie: standard surrounded by homos night out
Joe: yeah, and the nuns are never the hot kind
Joe: if they didn’t self-flagellate they’d be entirely uninteresting
Ronnie: 💔
Joe: yeah, it’s tragic being this bored/boring, say it ‘fore you have to bother
Ronnie: didnt invite you to no pity party and if thats where youre trying to get me to turn up to dont bother is right
Joe: you mean you don’t wanna talk about your feelings?
Joe: like you said, like being left alone with my own fucked up ones too much to try and start a therapy session
Ronnie: what fucking feelings dead above & below the waist like
Joe: dangerously close to sharing there
Joe: you got your 💉 already then?
Ronnie: wouldnt be this chatty if i had
Ronnie: unlucky you
Joe: I’m the one that wants to see you
Joe: so I’ll cope
Ronnie: cant even spell martyrdom proper so youve fucked yourself looking for a pat on the back off me by matching the definition up
Joe: i’ll just ring mum up yeah
Ronnie: your da if not but it wont have the same satisfying end for you like
Joe: 💔
Joe: validations the last thing i need
Joe: had a whole lifetime
Ronnie: you crawling back to me with a boner for the accent your mummys losing is the last thing i need
Ronnie: get on the scouse samaritans
Joe: don’t reckon that’s a job you’ll get any time soon either
Joe: ‘less the purpose is to make sure people go through with it
Ronnie: couldve fooled me if it aint what else is talking a sad cunts ear off about their problems gonna do
Joe: attention seekers anonymous
Ronnie: no need to meet you there i earned all them badges as a kid 🧷🩸
Joe: wouldn’t be caught 💀 obvs
Joe: keeping it secret adds another level of masochism anyway
Ronnie: does it fuck
Ronnie: keeps you feeling like a smug bitch you can still pass
Ronnie: miss me with that pussy shit
Joe: nah, that’s that i’m in control shit
Joe: it’s not that
Joe: the only thing you might be smug about is how oblivious everyone chooses to be
Joe: if it weren’t also depressing as fuck
Ronnie: dont give em the choice
Joe: why?
Ronnie: why the fuck would you want to
Joe: don’t need to be my mother’s next cause celebre
Joe: she can force the therapy and concern on any of the others, I don’t wanna get better or have to fake like I’ll even try
Ronnie: then dont
Ronnie: cut off your umbilical cord and wipe up the blood trail
Ronnie: not like she tries very hard to herd back the black sheep
Joe: maybe they know and don’t give a fuck 🤞
Joe: I know I ain’t going back so whatever
Ronnie: & you reckon weve got anything in common
Joe: just 50% of our DNA
Joe: never said we were twinsies
Ronnie: if youd have said id have spat in your face 1st time we met get it collected and the tests run
Joe: I wish
Joe: has your face healed
Ronnie: wheres the fun in letting it do that
Joe: 😏
Joe: we can pretend that’s inherited if you need
Ronnie: not 5 i dont play pretend
Joe: if you keep digging, reckon the ink will be gone and it’ll be pure scar tissue
Ronnie: calm the fuck down i can hear how turned on you are about it from here
Joe: spoilsport
Joe: just thinking, scar that only vaguely looks like 🍒s might be well more rugged for my transformation from baby to independent real boy
Ronnie: laughing cos i like pain not cause youre funny
Ronnie: when you see or hear it from wherever youre lurking
Joe: you don’t leave room for me to get the wrong idea, you’re alright
Joe: all them fucked ones are mine alone and already there
Ronnie: get your girlfriend to draw you a pin up & dont tell her youve changed the lass horse head to look like your mas
Ronnie: masc for masc in your bio before you know it and 🦋 tramp stamp to follow
Joe: you know my dad already has a tattoo that looks like her, no bullshit
Joe: and another dead girl on the other arm but that’s a whole other boring story
Joe: playing dress up is off the cards too if I’m ever gonna be a big boy
Ronnie: where do you keep his severed arm when youre not using it to fist yourself and how old were you when you cut it off
Ronnie: if we re telling stories
Joe: 😂
Joe: where we keep the horse
Joe: that en-suite is massive
Ronnie: if he finds out it was a paid gig ill know where to crash
Joe: still gutted she don’t wanna see you naked
Ronnie: youre a liar if you dont wanna see her face seeing me
Joe: don’t know if anyone could be bothered to look at her when you’re about but yeah
Joe: the trauma would really fuel me and make her much more bearable to live with
Ronnie: youre welcome like
Joe: gotta stop being nice to me
Joe: you know stalkers, give ‘em an inch
Ronnie: telling me what to do is the fastest way 🖕
Ronnie: and i know you dont have an inch to give me making the best of this shitshow is what an optimist like me has gotta do
Joe: obviously you’re that type
Joe: not having it in common will have you back 👍
Joe: you’re inspiring, like
Ronnie: chop off my arms and legs and get a camera set up in the en-suite
Joe: you’d fit in my cello case then, could take you everywhere
Ronnie: course youve had a measuring tape out
Joe: hate to kill your optimism with 🍆
Joe: have a go at pushing it back in
Ronnie: how longs your tongue reckon that could kill any girls optimism
Joe: 💔 if it was only good for chatting your ear off
Ronnie: [send him a picture of your weird gross split tongue because obviously]
Joe: [how does that not make you lisp, or does it, I always think that]
Joe: that’s why you’ve not had an invite
Joe: 🚫🐍
Ronnie: gutted
Joe: you know you can show up and do whatever you wanna do whenever
Joe: I’ll take you back
Ronnie: this performance art is meant to what just scare her or teach you how to get her to back the fuck off as well as
Ronnie: im not a fucking tour guide mckenna & you can get yourself evicted without my help
Joe: you know I meant to Dublin
Joe: don’t think it’d take much to scare Sophie off, give it a month for us to both get comfortable and she’ll see what I ain’t
Ronnie: fuck you
Joe: I said if you want
Ronnie: dont need your permission to do anything i want
Joe: don’t think any of ‘em are that lax with their socials
Joe: you’d need directions
Ronnie: ive had years to find em & we dont both hang about with horse girls from kent
Joe: can’t say it’s your loss
Ronnie: shut up about it then
Joe: 🤐
Ronnie: 🖕
Joe: got a whole fist here, you can keep it
Ronnie: sizeist
Joe: told her yours is massive like you said, it’s fine
Ronnie: i said bigger than his not a horse shes in for a disappointment
Joe: gotta 🤞 she’s an optimist like you babe
Ronnie: unlike you shes gonna wait to see what i do with it before telling me to shove it
Joe: you just wanna blueball me for the pain
Joe: go on, for your lols
Ronnie: she wont want me at all unless youre gonna watch
Joe: and you need a witness so I get time too
Joe: I’ll do it, torturous as it’d be
Ronnie: the iou is gonna torture me too
Joe: if you’re lucky
Ronnie: not the dna half we share 💔
Joe: damnit
Joe: what’s good about being Scouse?
Ronnie: now the beatles are dead youve got fuck all to live for
Ronnie: noted
Joe: only the good ones
Joe: I dunno, anything good about it never happened, left when I was a kid and we still lived in a shithole with shitheads
Ronnie: get in line she left me in a shithole with shitheads 1st
Joe: where were you
Joe: wonder how close it was
Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter
Joe: it makes her more/less shitty depending
Ronnie: it aint gonna change my opinion and I dont give a shit about yours
Joe: fair enough
Ronnie: get cosy with charlie hed take you down memory lane
Joe: not before he’s got it out for the art class tah
Ronnie: you didnt say when
Joe: [probably an evening class like tomorrow or the next day, then the same time a week later]
Ronnie: too fucking late the pen is in pieces
Joe: sure it isn’t the first time you’ve left him a note in blood
Ronnie: hes only gonna cry about it & take the shine off his modelling debut
Joe: awh
Joe: message him 🧓🏼
Ronnie: fuck off calling me old
Joe: 😏
Ronnie: ill write him a note blaming what a twat you are for what hes gonna walk in on
Joe: what mess have you made
Ronnie: havent killed myself yet
Joe: and you’ve not stopped talking so no OD’ing
Joe: possibilities are endless still
Ronnie: yeah
Joe: come out
Joe: we can get new ink to dig out
Joe: whatever
Ronnie: you gonna suck his dick this time
Joe: I’ll just pay the old-fashioned way
Ronnie: flashy cunt
Joe: what being a student is all about
Ronnie: and youre too special to poison your blood how the rest of em do
Joe: I’m not opposed but I can do it alone, I don’t need to go to a sweaty student bar that plays shit songs and has a load of sad Soph clones giving it 🥺
Ronnie: you can get another tattoo without me holding your hand
Joe: I could
Ronnie: go do it 🦋 baby
Joe: have mentioned its not about the tat, yeah?
Ronnie: nah not that ive heard
Joe: come on
Joe: i want to see you, i’ve said loads
Ronnie: youve said loads of shit yeah
Joe: shit i mean
Ronnie: why
Joe: why wouldn’t I
Ronnie: thats your answer then fuck it
Joe: you don’t need to ask ‘cos you know
Ronnie: i did ask and you said why the fuck not
Ronnie: like its nothing
Ronnie: like you didnt turn up uninvited into my life not long ago
Joe: then tell me to leave
Joe: like it’s that easy
Ronnie: i didnt tell you to fucking appear
Ronnie: just cause youre a kid dont make me the dead fish you won at the fair
Joe: I never had the choice
Joe: she told me about you, talked about you all the fucking time
Joe: you’ve always been in my life
Ronnie: and youve never been in mine
Ronnie: im not gonna carve out a place for you now cos you want it
Joe: Alright
Joe: do it then
Ronnie: dont tell me what to fucking do
Joe: I’m not going unless you say it
Ronnie: no shit this is fun for you
Joe: like fuck it is
Ronnie: im the car wreck youre craning your neck to keep looking at
Ronnie: thats all the fuck this is
Joe: lie better
Ronnie: you dont care about me or what this feels like
Joe: I can’t take it back, you know now
Ronnie: you dont wanna take it back
Joe: I can’t, what’s the point pretending
Joe: I never said I was a good person
Joe: being sorry won’t change anything for you
Ronnie: its all your christmases & birthdays im west as this course youre gonna keep on spinning me out
Joe: Piss off
Ronnie: lie better cunt
Joe: So you’re allowed pity parties, yeah?
Joe: 👌
Ronnie: calling you out on your bullshit is allowed if youre crying thats your problem
Joe: if all you want from me is for me to go away, consider it done
Joe: you can’t hack it, my apologies
Ronnie: tell me why if im so fucking wrong
Joe: I like you
Joe: I want you, to get to know you
Joe: I can’t just stop it, not for myself
Joe: So make me
Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do
Ronnie: fucks sake
Joe: you ain’t saying anything
Joe: what do you want
Ronnie: I dont want you to like me
Ronnie: fuck is that
Joe: yeah, it’s obvious you go to great lengths to be unlikeable
Joe: not going to tell no one am I
Ronnie: so hate me soft lad
Joe: I’ll give it a go
Ronnie: ill make you
Joe: give it a go then
Ronnie: where are you then
Joe: [give a location of somewhere near your flat ‘cos don’t need to actually set you on the flatmate rn and that’s likely where you were]
Ronnie: [obviously we’re just gonna show up however long that takes us without another word like !?]
Joe: [just so much eye contact ‘cos what you gonna say what you gonna do]
Ronnie: [definitely gonna take him somewhere sketchy as hell to the level that like Charlie doesn’t know we still go there/we’d never take him ever like you wanna get to know me okay bitch buckle up]
Joe: [can’t let you hook up or shoot up yet ‘cos chronological but go along with this obvs]
Ronnie: [it would make sense if you made out/almost hooked up though because the vibe for the next convo was very much oh fuck what are you doing here we didn’t mean to run each other like this but also v flirty]
Joe: [agreed, and allowed, it’s the obvious vibe but any untold drama can happen to stop you in whatever dodgy place so makes sense]
Ronnie: [literally and just because you can’t shoot up together yet does not mean either of you have to be in any way sober so]
Joe: [hundo, we’re not saying he’s never done a drug lol, he clearly abuses his prescription as is so like, there’s plenty to be done without going there]
Ronnie: [and if we wanted to we could say that you watch her do it here and now before you do it together anyway because you’d both get a weird kick out of that]
Joe: [tea, bet you did not see this coming for your uni experience lmao]
Ronnie: [meanwhile she’s old enough to have left, do you wanna grow up babe? No? okay]
Joe: [the way you’re rolling with this, we know you’re fucked boy but pop off]
Ronnie: [I can’t overstate how much she’d be doing the absolute most to try and scare him away like I dare you to go back on what you said]
Joe: [we know you’re not gonna, soz babe, is very rude how he’s just waltzed in but truly did not say we were a good person lol]
Ronnie: [we know she’s not either and also is here for it more than she will ever express until we’re literally years into this]
Joe: [hi your mother’s daughter, but no, you actually have a reason this is messed up but we’re into it from the off and not pretending, risky af strategy boy]
Ronnie: [is there anything we wanna say happens that has lasting-ish consequences other than the make out/ almost hook up ie a tattoo or a fight with injury potential or an arrest lol]
Joe: [hmm, the possibilities, maybe a fight to show you can, could be about anything, it’s that sort of place]
Ronnie: [that is such a mood I love it and yeah could literally be you’re a new face or could be her fault because of the aforementioned doing the most]
Joe: [totally, and that’ll be an easy way to separate you and not meet until the next convo]
Ronnie: [exactly dr phil]
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savnofilter · 5 years ago
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hey guys, i just wanted to speak up about something because i have been getting questions if i was well and stuff and im not really sure these days. mainly because i have become uncomfortable on this blog.
and i beg that people who dont like me, please do not spread things about me please or this because i thought i owe this to my followers.
the reason as to why i feel uncomfortable is because it really dawned upon me that being here doesnt make me happy anymore. and you could see in how flat my writing has become, or how my behavior often changes from happy to sad/low in a quick second.
and since after the summer, being on here has been almost terrible for me. like i use to have many friends, many people i talked to or felt like i created a bond with a lifetime, just kind of up and left me in the dust. while i finally took the time to focus on me for once, they used it against me, they got mad at me and its just hard to keep quiet about since it has always been my goal to talk about my feelings and now i dont think i can anymore, as to why im writing this to you guys tonight..
i will not get into depth (or specific) about it because i feel like the more i try to explain myself, the more twisted it becomes. and instead of helping me, it hurts me.
over the few months, i found when i was taking breaks to be happier. 
and its not the thought of you guys, it was more of like the lingering feeling of the way i was treated by people lingering on my blog. and im afraid if i feel like this still holds truth, i will be leaving this blog sooner or later.
in truth, i feel like ive been mistreated or even to the point where my feelings were so construed that it felt like i have been gaslighted over and over and over again. and honestly i am not as mentally or emotionally mature as many people on here, and some of them know that but it was never regarded.
im sad that this experience has come to this, because i really loved interacting, interacting with everyone and sharing my stories, but with the bad experiences on here has even turned my love/passion for writing down -- and even watching anime. i feel reminded every time i see certain blogs all over my feed, or like “hey im safe with these group of people” then they would pop up again. i felt like im some sort of villain or like an unintelligent-idiot who cant think for themselves. and while people who brainlessly follow those people can blindly hate me is fine, because i will never change who i am for anyone. ever. and i hate having to make posts like these because i feel bad for being so angsty and not being the sav that you guys know because while the brand “savnofilter” or “sav” is an extension of me, i sometimes feel so detached because of how shut out ive fell in this fandom for like 5 months now.
and i sincerely apologize to any new followers, i use to not be this down all the time but it really has been brought to my attention that the only social media that has heightened my anxiety, my depression, and even a part of illnesses i thought went away has resurfaced all because of what has happened associated to this blog.
whether it be being shut out and begging for help from the people i thought would be friends, or that i was kicked to the curve simply because i was not in the right state of mind and basically told me it was my fault for being that way.
and when it was fun, when i had friends it never felt like a chore for me on here. but as i lose support like that, it just hurts even though i have someone who stays beside me all the time. once you lose that, that, ground you start to compare yourself, like normal human nature i think. i started too look at my blog and be like “why arent i getting as much as before, what am i doing wrong, what is so bad about my stuff thats good with theres”. and part of the factor was that its odd, because it wasnt even a place of jealousy. it was one of, how did i fall to be so unimportant? so... immaterial. and it was like, each writer i fell out with, everyone just followed them and im left here trying my best to fill in their spots because i missed having that friend group, or friends with me. the only who really cared for me even with the biggest arguments and hoenstly it was because they were the only the one that cared for me. and i am not trying to cause discourse so please do not contact other people about this.
and as much as i stay at this point to irk the people who want me gone, i feel like the subtle unintentional (or intentional) bad vibes being brought to me is choking me up. and its doing well.
it just, it was so odd being treated like actual shit. like dog dooky shit. like if i was the poop on the sidewalk that you walk around and wonder who fucking took that massive shit, shit. and i was afraid to speak up about it because i was afraid of the backlash id get for having fucking feelings. 
from someone who went through some shit when i was younger, and built this barrier, to being repeatedly told over and over again that my feelings are invalid, to have people to tell me “i wont do that too you” and then do it to me just made me grow as a person. or die as a person. im not sure yet.
not only was it a mixture of people leaving me for shitty reasons, it was how stupid this fandom got. yeah, stupid. completely idiotic. of course there are people who sense-ful(?) and i love you a lot for it. but like ive said before, its unfair, there is no love like there use to be. people arent how they use to be. people put on a show, but once behind close doors its completely different. and if youre thinking of anyone in specific, youve got some shit to reevaluate. 
i was so scared to talk about it before because i was so scared at the backlash id get because i was so tired for being the hurt one and being called the bad guy. and im not blind to me being a bitch, but when i feel like ive done something im upfront about it. im rambling but this happens when i finally let my thoughts out.
and if ive been truthful, ive fallen out of my routine with meeting up with my therapist which may one of the reasons i let it run on this long without really getting a clear conscience. and like ive said before, i had thought it had to do with my life but honestly the only grief i get is being on here. 
to be honest, i have projects and requests i really want to complete before i even leave. so maybe its a while before i leave, maybe if it gets too much i’ll just go. i do not know. but 2020 is the year i finally want to take my own health over everyone else before i did before. and even with how hurt i am, i still hold so much love for these people. so much. but ive always been too loyal.
i am sorry for this sorrowful note, but i do not know how much longer i will stay. i love you all, have a blessed night.
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jedward5ever · 4 years ago
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Jacob and Edward
hey guys. just a little something. Jacob and Edward if you’re into that. 
setting: cullen’s house they’re studying or smthn bella hasnt moved in yet
edward: so what did you get for number 5?
Jacob: uhhhhh…..i didnt do it
edward: ok. why?
Jacob: i don't really get this whole math thing...can u explain?
e: oh that’s okay. well first of all this is biology. so in question 5 they’re asking what is the first step of glycolysis, do you know what glycolysis is?
J: uhhhhh i turn into a wolf sometimes
e: *startled, looks away.* uh? ok well glycolysis is basically when glucose is split (glucose is sugar and like……. sweet) and the final product is two pyruvate molecules
J: *turns into a wolf* aaaaawooooooooooooo
e: *slaps him across the wolf face, once then twice* what the FUCK are you doing. you cant do ths in my house and u broke my antique glass table i stole from bulgaria
J: *turns back into a person* sorry bro i do that sometimes when im nervous
e: ………. *lights down spotlight on edward for brief monologue* i… i  feel so guilty i slapped him to be or not to be? then i should aboiplogize *lgihts back on*... hey jacob im sorry is lapped u….. why r u nervous’
J: its ok bro…..im nervous bc...no i cant say it...its embarrassing
e: *caresses jacobs’ face where he slapped him* its ok. im sorry. sometimes i let my anger get the better of me
J: its ok ...its just that….i..i….
e: *starts getting mad* speak the fuck up. what are u saying
J: *mumbles something*
e: *starts meditating to calm down* what.
J: i said…..i….l...ll
e: WHAT YOU STUPID MUTT
j:......i….love……
e: what the fuck r u trying to say *flexes his hands ina nger*
J: i love y- *dies of unknown cause*
e: Hi, I’m edward cullen. im trained in first aid. can i help u? *no answer* hello? are you awake? bystander *points to alice* please contact ems adn let them know someone is about to be Turned *bites jacob*
J: *becomes a vampire but also still werewolf* bro……
e: ok. so do you understand glycolysis now?
J: yeah i do thanks bro that helped a lot
e: no problem, now onto question 6. wait. this isn’t a bio question. it says…. no i can’t read this filth
J: what does it say man
e: it… it *face turns red then green then purple* it…. ugh this is disgusting. you read it
J: i didnt want to tell u this bc i thought you would make fun of me but…..i cant read...
e: u fucking illiterate bastard. fine ill read it *clears throat* fuck i didnt copy pzste it hold on
Lmssoaooao dw ok it wont let me but *jacob x edward fanfiction*
LAMOAOAK
J: dude…...thats in the textbook????
e: yeah. its fucking disgusting. how did they know everything about us… actually wait it look s like someone wrote this by hand…
J: thats so weird…..who would have done that….so gross….
e: lemme check whose textbook this is. *flips to front*................................................................. *looks up at jacob with golden orbs and squints his eyes* it says its ur textbook
J: thats c-c-crazy bro ,,,,, i cant even read hahaha how could i write that hahaha
e:....... you fucking liar. yeah u can read. is this seriously how u thin k of me? of us? ur sick in the fucking head. i woulc neve.r;..... never fucking do that with u
J:....is that...is that realy how you feel?
e: *inexplicable rage* obviously u weirdo stupid werewolf dog *starts choking jacob*
J: *actually likes being choked* oh no…..oh no…..don't do this…. e: *notices hes into it* AHRHGHGHHGHGHHG (in rage) *choke slams him into the broken glass table* YOURE SO GROSS
J: *thinks* he will never love me the way i love him...maybe i should just end it all…..
e: *freeze frame…. lights down spotlight on edward again...  monoglogu* wait…. what the fuck……… is that smell? i just realized i cannot read his mind? what the fuck is going on…………. *slideshow in the background with informational voice: it turns out that one of jacob’s sperm containing renesemee was i dont know hanging out which was already pyscihologucally connected to bella and stole bella’s power of smelling good and no thoughts then transferred it to jacob making him have those powers* *spotlight end* jacob…….. why the fuck…. cant i read ur mind… why do u smell so good…
J: i didnt know u could read minds….maybe i just don't have thoughts…..
e: everyone has fucking thoughts.l…… but i cant… read urs…
J: i don't know…….has that ever happened before?
e: no… *intense eye contact*
J; *blushes and looks down* im sorry im different
e: *looks away cus jacob looked away, then  accidentally looks down* bro… is that….
J: no bro… its not what it looks like!!!
e: *stares at him then throws up to the side* i cant believe this… ur a nasty dog but i cant help but feel….. attracted to u
J: youre...attracted to me……
e: I dnt’ know why……. dont worry i cant get it up i have no blood
J: wait….we cant fuck??? Im out of here *turns to leave*
e: wait. there is a way…… *flashback on the slideshow to when edeawrd drank jacobs blodo to vampirize him this slideshow is viewable by edward and jacob*
J: well tell me,,,how do we fuck?????
e: u tell me
J: i don't know youve been a vampire longer than i have
e: bruh. so????? i follow the christian beliefs
J: stupid idiot we cant fuck then
e: *looks away* i guess. not like i wanted to anyways
J: you know what? I don't have to deal with this *turns to leave* call me when you want some dick
e: *when jacob is more than like 10m away suddenly intense pain hits them both* theres… something i forgot to tell u. when i vampirized u….. iut basically means ur bonded to me for like 1 month….
J: so youre telling me….im stuck with u for a month….and we cant fuck
e: well yeah more or less
the end
BREAKOUT ROOMS ENDED CLASS IS OVER LMAAOAOAOAGood rp bro SUCH A GOOD CLASS i agreed exactly to be continued
LOL EXCELLENT STORY it was honestly amazing great twists and turns, the tensini was high cant wait to see where this goes hope rob enjoys <3
setting: school assembly, principal andrew is doing a presentation on how to stay safe from these mysterious killings….. (vampires and werewolfs)
jacob and edward sit next to each other cus they cant be 10m apart.
e: ugh. u again.
J: stop talking as if this isnt ur fault
e: *whispering* ur the one who fucking died for no reason
J: ok and?? You didnt have to bring me back
e: *roll eyes* u know exactly why i had to
J:.........what do you mean…….
e: *looks at him with golden orbs then looks away* shut up. principal andrew is talking..
J: *is listening to every word andrew says bc he is so amazing but keeps looking at edward*......
e: * is listening and doesn’t notice j acob looking at him, then speaks to jacob without looking at him* look… they’re talking about killings… is this ur fucking tribe’s doing?
J: what the fuck no way its your stupid fucking family we keep our end of the agreement
e: *inhales sharply, then grips jacob’s leg with vampire strengthz* dont u fucking talk about my family like that u stupid mutt *people begin looking in their direction*
J: *is kind of turned on but would never admit it* stop being fucking gay people are staring
e: *notices people are staring and releases jacob, embarrassedly* just shut the fuck up and listen. *andrew begins talking about A CURFEW… they cannot leave their houses or some shit like basically e and j have to be together*
J:wait….how the fuck are we supposed to stay in our houses if we cant be away from each other….im not about to live with your weird incest family…
e: *enraged again, grabs the back of jacob’s neck at the pressure point* what the fuck. did. i say. about. talking. shit. about. my family. take that  back right fucking now
J: *smirks* what are you gonna do about it…..be more gay?
e: *even more rage* i am not fucking gay —- cut off by andrew: Edward, Jacob, what the fuck are yall doing? *everyone turns to look, spotlight on them*
J: im sorry mr andrew….its just that edward attacked me…..hes so in love with me and he keeps assaulting me...im not gay though
andrew: oh thank god (he thought they were gay). edward, jacob immediately separate.
J:uhhhhhhhh i think we have to talk though…..sort this out with words…
e: *is extremely embarrassed to have everyones attention on him* Yes sir, andrew. i mean principal andrew. *grabs jacob by the scruff of his neck and drags him to the hallway and then slams him in to the lockers like bullies in the 80s* why the FUCK did u embarass me like that
J: bro you embarrassed urself…..you were all over me….just say youre into me itll be easier for both of us
e: ALL OVER YOU? *slams him again*
J:yeah like ur all ove me right now you cant keep your cold dead hands off of me
e: *moves back as if burned, walking away backwards while also throwing up, but then he is too far and they are both in intense pain*
J: dude calm down lets talk about this shit….we gotta make a plan
e: *refusing to come closer, so still are in pain* …...plan… for … what
J: the fucking…..cerfew…. Idiot…. Come back…..
e: *doesn’t come back, vomits once more* no… u fucking… smell…. what do … u mean…. the curfew…
J: were you not….listening to andrew… we have to stay inside our houses….but how can we do that if we cant be apart from each other
e: *looks away angrily* ….. we… will have to… stay apart… in pain… i guess…
J: you’re so fucking stubborn you did this to me and now youre making me suffer too
e: … i… don’t… care…. *walks even further, causing them more pain*
J: were only like 20m apart….and it already feels like this…..you think we can handle more thN THIs forever???? Youre so fucking stupid
e: *glares at him but doesnt come closer* shut. the … fuck up…. you fucking…. dog…
J: *steps closer* make...me…..
e: *doesn’t see him coming cus eyes are closed* shut…. up… stop… talking…
J: *steps closer* i said…...make….me
a/n: how fucking close are they now huh  uhh like 3 ft apart ok
e: *smells jakob cus he stinks and opens eyes* GET AWAY FROM ME
J: make me *smirks*
a/n: LMFAO THANKS i need to formulate a perfect response lemmet hink of course take all the time you need
e: what the fuck do you mean make me? i will launch u across this hallway wolf boy
J: do it then…..
e: *grabs him by the neck again and slings him*
J: *dies*
e: *notices.( a/n: sigh) spotlight… on …. edward… monoglogue: i-........i cant believe i fucking killed him again…. the pain is gone but… literally wtf….. i…. grrr. *edward looks into the distance, pondering. then silently goes to jacob.* i have to save him. *begins cpr and mouth to mouth breathing*  
J: *was never actually dead only pretending like romeo and juliet* *smirks*
a/n: I FUCKING KNEW IT LOL
e: *notices the smirk, then realizes he was alive the whole time* what the FUCK jacob? *slaps him across the face* you dirty bastard
a/n KALMASKDAOJDIJDOASOISO
J: so i guess you don't hate me that much huh?
e: *slaps him again* i thought you fucking died. i couldn’t let andrew discover a dead body in the hallway. and. and anyway i was going to eat you afterwards so yeah take that
J: yeah thats so believable…… just say you love me...i wont judge you *gay slur*
e: *is about to rage again* im literally. fucking straight. i love…. va-vgagag gaggaga *starts vomiting* WHAT THE FUCK DO U WANT FROM ME
a/n IM CRYING HAHA
J: dude...its 2020...its ok to be gay...you don't have to pretend to be someone youre not,,,, i aceppt you
e: *once again, he can’t help but be attracted to jacob bc of the science i explained in the previous thing, stares depeply into jacob’s orbs* what… do… you… want… from …. me … u fucking… dog
J: *stares back into edwards orbs* i just….i just want you to be happy…
e: *looks away* i am… happy. away from you.
J: *looks away from edward looking away* if thats really how you feel…...fine...ill take the pain….
e: *once a fucking gain. spotlight. monologue* in all my 118 years…. ive caused so much pain and destruction… should i really put this on poor jacob’ why did i see children see i mean sayy omg on poor jacob’s shoulders. no i cant.* no. no. we can. stay together. *teeth clenched* for. the curse, of course. so. you don’t have pain. not that. i . like u.
a/n TEARS MAN WHY IS EDWARD A TSUNDERE I DONT KNOW
J: fine...for the curse….whatever helps you sleep at night..
e: *touches jacob’s shoulder (only cus theyre so close) and pushes him back* yeah. you can stay at. my house. i guess
a/n: (u have to say no so ed goes to jacobs werewolf hq)
J: no way i cant be around all those incesty vampires its creepy as fuck you come to my place
e: *gasp* what the fuck. youre literally a VAMPIRE too. i…. i dont wanna go to ur place…
J: physically im a vampire but mentally im still a wolf and i will not be around so many dead sister fuckers
e: ….. i don’t wanna be around u stinky werewolves…. Unless….no.
J: what man???
e: *is disgusted firstly, by werewolves, and the way jacob speaks so heterosexually irks him* nothing. can’t we, like. get a hotel room.
J: that might not be a bad idea…..but im poor remember
e: *facepalms then says annoyedly* fine. we’ll go to ur fucking wolf den. but u have to make it up to me.
J: ……...how?
e: *rolls eyes* i don;’t fucking know. u tell me. it better be good cus i will never get that werewolf smell off of me.
J: i mean…...we could like…..if youre down…….
e: *squints at him* what.
J: we could……..you know…. ..
e: *understands, slaps him across the face for millionth time poor jacob probably has permanent hand prints* EW.
J: like i don't want to because im not gay but id do it for you
e: … you know. i used to be able to read ur mind up until  a few weeks ago. so i do know what the fuck u thought of me…. what u thought—- *nearly vomits again*
J: but that was a long time ago...before we got close….now you made me straight
e: *extremely offended* what the fuck? you dont think im hot anymore?
J: why does it matter???? Youre not gay right
e: *hits him again* im not FUCKING gay. and it matters. b ecause, because,m because because because bcuae buse bcueacuab euacaubeucae BECAUSE. everyone thinks im hot. and if ur around him[edward] for the next month, u also need tot hink im hot.
a/n wtf is him oh of course a/n: edward is refering tohimself in third person
J: maybe if you were nicer to me id like you more...stop fucking hitting me and vomitting
a/n: lAMFPAOO,FP
e: *looks away in shame, then sighs shakily brings his cold vampirical hands to jacob’s bruised face* look. my hands. are so.. fucking cold they will heal ur bruies *doesnt look him in the eyes*
a/n HYDUHFUIEHWOIHOIDW
J: *doesnt make eye contact* thanks….i guess…
e: *keeps using vampircal cold hands to heal, then they accidentally make eye contact, edward looks away*
J: you don't have to look away…..
e: *glares back at him just to prove a point* fine.
J: *stares into edwards orbs with kindness and love* ……….
e: *stares back and recognizes what jacob is feeling, whispers* ur fucking gay
J: maybe…..but so are you…….
END
BREAKOUT ROOM ENDINGWHY THEY HAVE A COUNTDOWN. OK THIS SCENE ENDS HERE NEXT IS JACOB’S HOUSE ok it was really good today honestly excellent a/n are a perfect edditon  except im losing my ability to type and spell we at 3k words BRUH LMOAAOAOA i love us ok bye
dun dun dun dun (tear in my heart). LMAO listening to it oh good u start bruh its ur hosue
setting: jacob’s den thing, also we need to have my immortal descriptions
J: so make yourself at home i guess…..
e: *carrying black bag with mcr pins on it , looks around in disgust* ….. u live like this?
J: yeah man sorry im not rich like you are
e: *is definitely thinking something offensive towards native people but disguised as against werewolves as stephanie meyer always does* ok…. so where am i sleeping..
a/n HUIHBUFOEWGEUI did i lie  absolutely not
J;well like……...theres only one bed…
e: *mutters* could this get any more cliche. *notmutter* k. well im definitely not sleeping next to you. mind if i amazon prime a (whatever those fake small bed things are called)
J: if you want but theres not much room,,,,whatever,,,,,,*is disappointed*
e: *ignores jacob, typing on his phone to order the thing*
(Now Jacob’s family comes in I forgot their names but they’re here) billy is dad i think
J: oh hey guys this is edward he has to stay for a bit
Billy: *smells his ugly vampire smell* did you bring one of them….into my home????
edward: *visibly uncomfortable and surrounded by the werewolves, whispers to jacob* what the fuck… i didn’t know your whole pack was gonna be here…
J: *whispers back* this is our headquarters man….i didnt think theyd be so early thought *soeaks to fam* im sorry but a lot has happened….its necessary
a/n: k so im billy now? If u want
billy: *stares at edward for a while, assessing him.*
edward: …
billy: *sniffs him, then decides its ok* well then. if you say so jakey boy *claps edward on the shoulder* no biting ok?
edward: .
J: haha yeah….so were gonna go to my room now…..come on lets go
e: *glad to leave* yeah lets go right now
(The fam watches them go and its so awkward)
(in jacobs room)
J: so that was terrible but we’ll just stay up here as much as possible so that doesnt happen again
e: ugh that was so embarrassing… that was like when i introduced my ex gf to my family…. *realizes what he said* EW , not that WE are like that cus ewww gross *slaps jacob out of embarrassment*
a/n HAHAHAHAHA
J: *uncomfortable bc was slapped but also jealous of ex and sad ed don't like him like that* no man i get it….it happens all the time...cuz i bring so many chicks back here...not that we’re like that…..
e: yeah, obviously. *hand twitches in urge to slap him, but stops himself…. is upset because jacob brings back so many bitches and is jealous. so he goes to face the wall in anger* i need to ….. do./.. my chemistry homework
J: yeah whatever...i gotta do stuff too,,,,,im really busy….*looks down*
e: *is doing the chemistry homework standing up and super fast cus he’s been to high school for over 100 years, mutters* this is so easy ugh
J: why are you even in school anyways like you could be anywhere why do you want to learn the same shit over and over again
e: ………..Well if you woudl really like to know, it’s not the same thing over and over again. the school system has changed a lot since 1918 so it is actually pretty refreshing. i also like seeing how the trends change but are basically the same so yeah i do enjoy going to school, i don’t wanna work everyday because that’s different everyday plus school is easy for me and i get so many bitches cus im sexy.
J: yeah thats cool i guess *mad bc he gets so man bitches* but like if you get so many bitches...where are they???? Why do you hangout with me all the time???
e: *slaps jacob* BECAUSE IF WE ARENT CLOSE TOGETHER WE WILL FUCKING DIE DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE CURSE OR SOMETHING
J: THE CURSE DOESN’T STOP YOU FROM HAVING BITCHES THO…..ITS ALMOST LIKE UR A FUCKING LIAR
e: *gasps, backhand slap now* OF COURSE I HAVE BITCHES. DID YOU FORGET I CAN READ MINDS. EVEN TEACHERS WANT ME. AND I KNOW THAT YOU DID TOO, AT one ponitn… .gerkgorjgopjfpwjgwprjgpwojgwo *slaps jacob again so he can’t see that edward is blushing*
J: yeah i did like you…….*turns away so edward doesnt see him cry*
e: *not even looking in his direction cause he’s embarrassed* um. ….. *stomach growl*.... oh….
J: oh do you need some fucking blood or something
e: *disgusted that he is being perceived* ugh. im a vegetarian, so i need to…. go hunting… probably
(but they on sacred land or smthn)
J: first of all thats not what vegetarian means idiot and second of all you cant fucking hunt here its sacred and so are all the animals that live here….so  now what???
e: *rolls eyes and is for sure thinking racist things* ugh. lemme call alice maybe she can bring me some stored blood… *calls but there’s no service* what the FUCK…. i hate this place… lemme amazon prime some blood…
J: oh sorry you cant ubereats your fucking blood...and youre so addicted to your phone...maybe try living in the moment lke the rest of the world
e: *zones out for a second at the mention of ike aka the character someone in kelvin yo’s story plays in super smash bros, then jolts back to reality* i am living in the moment. you know whats happening in this moment? im fucking hungry bruh and i need blood. so u better get me some before i fucking start feeding and then ur dads gonna be mad
J: you. Cant. feed. Here. why is that so hard to understand….lets just fucking leave and you can go hunt or whatever
e: *eyes flash with anger and turn whatever the colour is when they are hungry* im. hungry. NOW. *starts doing whatever hungry vampires do like intense breathing*
J: dude…..calm down….*nervous*....we’ll get you some blood or whatever *backs into a wall*
e: don’t tell me to fucking calm down *supa hungry rn, then attacks jacob by slamming him OUT of the wall, yeah u read that right, the wall is broken now how sad* GIMME BLOODDDDDD *edward tries to bite jacob*
J: BRUH U BROKE MY FUKING HOUSE…..AND I DON'T HAVE BLOOD IM A FUCKING VAMPIRE TOO REMEBER??????? I CANT HELP U
e: *too hangry to hear him, bites into jacob’s neck with his fangs. out of his neck comes this disgusting sloshy black thing cus he no have blood* UGH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS YOU TASTE DISGUSTING *spits it out onto the grass, then sees its black and calms down* waht the fuck………… *looks at broken wlal* huh….
J: oh are you back now???? Yeah i don't have fucking blood and you tried to kill me and my house….what the fuck man it always comes down to you killing me….i don't think i can do this anymore……
e: …….look. it’s not my fault. honestly you’re exaggerating things. i was hungry. i can’t help it and you should have known better than to be around me. and im still hungry. so.
J: wow so we’re victim blaming now????? No man i said i cant do this…..you never think about me
e: *rolls eyes uncomfortably, then notices jacob’s neck is still bleeding* well. im not. victim blaming. but. you’re still. bleeding. so  my vampircal saliva is actually. healing . u.m . proertries. so umeme asmdaosmdsomaodmw. let. me . help . uoi. iok omo kok
a/n you ok man? i told u im losing brain cels
J: how can i trust you????? Everytime i trust you i die…….
e: *rolls eyes and then puts his hand on jacob’s face (like his face not the side of it)* just let . me . do my. fucking job *licks him*
J: *flinches but gives in* youre so fucking gay...if you wanted to makeout you could have jjust said so...i would have said no tho
e: *slams jacob’s head into the ground so powerfully that there is a jacob shaped crater in the ground* IM FUCKING HEALING YOU. *the bite mark has healed, slams jacob into the ground again* YOU STUPID FUCK IM NOT GAY
J: *dies*
e: *mad, spits on the ground next to jacob* i know ur not fucking dead. ur a vampire and a werewolf for fucks sake. get up.
J: *still dead*
e: you can’t just use the dead card everytime u want me to be nice to you. cause i wont. i literally wont.
J: *just a fucking corpse*
e: *stares at his dead body for a bit.* jacob. get the fuck up.
J: *not alive*
e: *hears billy’s wheelchair coming up* spotlight monolgoeu: well fuck. i can’t let him see i just killed his son for the third time. fuckfuckfuck what can i do i don’t have time to hide the body so… so ….. ok well hes a corpse and im a corpse too so this won’t be that weird
BREAKOUT ROOM ENDNEDINDENIEI TO BE CONTINUED YEAH RIGHTAHHAHAHHA JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART  HOW EXCITING FOR TOMROW YES I CANNOT WAIT
*continuing edward monologue*
e: yeah … its totally not weird…. its cause i because because because because because because because because i need a cover thats why im doing totally not gay *kisses jacob*
(billy comes out from behind the house)
J: *obviously wasnt dead, wakes up, kisses edward back* oh hey dad
Billy: *supportive of his gay son* hey i thought i heard a fight *looks up* what the fuck happened to the wall
e: *sees jacob isn’t dead anymore, thinks that his kiss brought him back to life like in snow white, shocked* …….hhhh…….. wall?
J: sorry i don't know how that happened shits crazy ya know
Billy: *nods wisely* i do know…...well you boys have fun *leaves*
e: *stares at jacob in shock* …..do you….. remember… what happened before u died?
J: *does but wants to fuck with edward* wh….what? i…...i...d..died??????
e: *rolls eyes* yeah u fucking did. i brought u back though.
J: how…..???
e: ugh *hits him* obviously i just bit you to … bring u back.. to life….
J: so im already a vampire…...but now youve made me a double vampire??? Or does it cancel out and im human????
e: i dont fucking know. i— *remembers the curse and hopes jacob does not bring it up because the curse should double since jacob is double vampire* but don’t worry about the curse. obviosuyl .
J: oh does it double now that im a double vampire???
e: NO. and anyways. im still fucking hungry. so. be a good host and get me some mf food
J: yeah just let me check my fridge for some fucking blood…...idiot…..lets go somewhere so u can be a fake vegetarian
e: hmph. well let’s see if u can keep up. *runs away at vampire speed into the woods*
J: *turns into wolf and uses wolf and vampire speed and follows* awoooooooo
(the curse not acting up meaning theyre within 20m of each other)
e: *looks behind and sees jacob can keep up* slowpoke
ROB ENTERED MY CHAT YA SAME LOL ANYWAYS
J: who tf u callin slow *runs so fast that he almost next to edward*
e: *getting tired cus he is low on blood therefore energy* grrrrrrr
J: look we’re off sacred ground now go catch a deer or something
e: . im tired. u get something for me.
J: so now im ur personal chef?????? No get ur own shit
e: ive killed u three times already. dont make it a fourth.
J: *mumbles* whatever *leaves and smirks knowing he only actually died once* *gets a fucking deer or some
BREAKOUT ENDED????????? Ing WTF WHY WHO CARES LETS CONTINUE BRUH WHAT IS GOING ON DID U HEAR ERIC AND TINA THAT WAS SO AWKWARD I HATE THIS CLASS SO MUCH LILY LTIERALY WHAT BURH i do npt ccare at all
k anyways continue
J; here take this eat up
a/n: god i forgot how fucking ugky tina’s voice is fucking right
e: *bites into the deer, drinking the blood and makes direct eye contact w jacob* nomnomnom
J: feel better now?
e: *disgusted and spits blood at jacob’s feet* nomnomnomnom
J: *looks away cuz this is gross* the shit i do for u……
e: *slurps disgustingly* nomnomnom nom nOMnomON griwjodk
a/n wait lets hope we together obviously no omfg these bitches are talking im not speaking to u im puttig yall on mute good
J: *vomits cuz the noises r gross* could u be a little more quiet?????
e: *puts down the deer* dont fucking vomit in front of me and my food
J: your food is so much more disgusting than my vomit
e: then don’t look at me. *keeps drinking*
J: *rolls eyes*......
e: nomnomnomnom… *puts down again* i said dont fucking look at me.
J: *says nothing but keeps looking*
e: *slurp* u want some then?
J: absolutely not
e: *rolls eyes* i know ur a carnivore, come here
J: nah i don't want that shit youve fuccking destroyed it its disgusting
e: *the deer isnt destroyed like literally one puncture, but edward gets mad at the accusation, so he rips off the backlegs of the deer* i know u want some *throws the legs at jacob*
(catch it with ur mouth PLS Like a wolf)
a/n LMAO like throw drink but then u swallow it all dark blue hell post  YES
J: *catches it with his mouth perfectly while making intense eye contact* …..
e: fucking mutt…. *goes back to drinking the blood* nomnomnomnomnom
J: *eats deer leg like it chicken wing* this shit isnt even good….
e: ur the one who hunted it.
J: whatever tommorow we going to mcdicks
e: what the fucks a mcdicks
J: bro…….youve never had a shit burger……..
e: why would i eat shit … in a burger…
J: of course your small mind could never understand….ugh
e: *spits blood in a perfect arch that lands right on jacobs shirt* dont call me small minded ever again
J: dude what the fuck…..and ill call u what i want
e: *finished drinking* no the fuck u won’t. *gestures to deer* u gonna eat my leftovers or what
J: i will not...and what the fuck r u gonna do about it???
e: do about what
J: me calling you small minded idiot
e: *slaps him* shut the fuck up
J: *turns the tables and slaps edward* it doesnt feel so good huh???
a’=./n: HAHAHAHHA
e: *holds his face in shock* WHHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT????????????? MY VAMPIRE HAND DOESNT HURT AS MUCH U FUCKING IDIOT
J: yeah ok but i slapped you once and youve slapped me at least a billion times so it adds up….funny how you can give it but not take it….weak…
e: *thinks about how he could say a few things about that last phrase but doesn’t* i’ve literally killed u so many fucking times *raises fist* i will do it again…..
J: *steps closer* do it then
e: why… the fuck … do you ALWAYS provoke me… kNOWING you will die? *pushes him back*
J: because i know you need an excuse to make out with me every once and awhile *smirks*
e: *gasp* WHAT THE FUFK? HOW DID U KNOW THAT *HITS HIM IN THE FACE*
J: bro you didnt think i was actually dead did you…...i thought you would have known better by now *still smirking*
e: *speechless and wishes he could use his mindpowers on jacob but it doesnt work* ………..
J: yeah so maybe you should try being nicer
e: absolutely not. once this month is over im moving to korea
BREAKOUT ROMM ENDINGNOOOOOOOO AKWAYDS WHEN IT GETS GOOD I KNOW RIGHT UGH ITS OK BUT YEAH THERE NEEDS TO BE AN EMOTIAONL CONNECTION SOON BEFOREMARRIAGE OH OF COURSE I CANT WAIT WE WILL WORK MORE TMRW NO SATUDAY MONDAY WOOOOWOOOO I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE A FILM OF THIS YESSSSSSS MONDAY OK HAHAHA
e: *continued* and im never speaking to u again.
J: yeah right you always say that shit…..but then you come crawling back
e: *rolls eyes* i’ve literally never done that. ur schizophrenia’s acting up because weve never had any fucking relationship before this……. i DONT LIKE YOU
J: uh huh but you always bring me back to life and make out with my corpse so what does that mean???
e: first of all, WE ARE BOTH CORPSES. so its not weird. second, i dont wanna get in trouble for killing a werewolf. so thats that. *turns away and starts walking back to the house but its the wrong direction*
J: yeah thats a likely story…….you know thats not the way home right…*smirks*
e: obviously ….. i was tricking u….. *goes the other way*
J: *rolls eyes and still smirks* so what do you wanna do when we get home
e: nothing *hes still going the wrong way but this time a different wrong*
J: well whatever….how long are you planning on going the wrong way before you ask me for help?
e: buddy.. this is the right way *shows map on phone*
(............ how can this be??????? ARE THEY IN a diffeernte realm)
a/n LMSOAAIOOAAO faerie realm
J: no i swear……..it……*turns in a circle confused* we definitely came from………
e: so what the fucks going on? is this one of ur stupid pranks bc ur native or whatever
J: can you stop being racist for two seconds this is weird….whatever maybe i messed up….lets just follow your phone…
(they follow the directions on the phone but they find that theyre just going in circles eneding up back to the dead dear…. a strange mist is rising*
e: uh…………….. what the fucks going on……….
J: uhhhhhh…….this has never happened before…...what the fuck do we do,....
e: wait. do u hear that……..
(from in the mist they hear something coming……………. its this really hot woman coming out, her name……. bella swan)
bella: …… *in sexy voice* hello boys
a/n GYDSUFGEYORGFBOREW
J: uh…..who the fuck are you….
b: *tosses her head back and laughs, long luscious dark locks of dark of hair of brown falling behind her, then opens her blue? brown? idk her orb colour and stares at them…. she notices edward’s extremely strong gay aura so doesnt go to him. looks at jacob* im bella. bella swan…. youre in my swamp….
J: ok…...but we’re lost...so could you help us out….?
e: *uncomfotable.*
bela: hahhahahah… of course…. *walks up to jacob and touches his face* but the thing is….. humans who come into my territory….. must …… how tf do i say this….. they need to gift me something…. or else u are cursed to work as my servant forever.
J: well we’re not human...hes a vampire and im half werewolf half double vampire…..so that wont apply to us right??
b: *gasps*..... HAHAHAHAHAHHA…… you truly don’t know who i am? bella swan (shes part swan ig) collects HALF WEREWOLF HALF DOUBLE VAMPIRE boys……. jacob….. *licks lips* you will be my prize
e: hhhhhhhhhh
J: so like….if i fuck you….can you tell us how to get home??
bella: *slaps him across the face in the same way that edward does* FUCK ME? hahahahha you’re fucking stupid. i knew it. all of u are. i don’t want u like that buddy, i need to use ur dna to make skins. *grabs him and tries to bring him into the mist*
e: wait…. u can’t
bella: y?
e: um……. bc….
J: *is kind of turned on bc bella slapped him like edward and pavlovs dogs ya know* ……….
e: *was about to say to bella that she cant take jacob, but then realizes he has no say in what jacob can or can’t do…. plus… jacob looks really happy with bella….. but still…. he can’t just let jacob get fucking killed again… even if he’s into it* um. bella. maybe? um u could take me as well?
b: no ur fucking gay i don’t want u. jacob wants to come w me , right jakey? (how does she know his name?)
J: *dream like* yeah…….wait…...did i tell you my name?
bella: *eyes widening in delight* NOOOOOO YOU DIDNT!!!!! LUCKY GUESS!!!!! NOW THAT I KNOW UR NAME……. *turns to edward* u know what happens when fairies know ur name right? *smirks* e
e: *also kind of into that smirk bc pavlovian response* wait… no… JACOB U IDIOT
bella: i feel some homosexual tension between yall …. how about this *curses jacob so that he is like idk evil and will kill edward so then bella wont have to fight him and then can kill jacob le8ter*
J: *eyes rolll back into head like tik tok boy* *lunges at edward* ……
(famous last words by mcr starts playing straight from bella’s mouth for some background music) a/n YESSSSSS
e: *dodges jacob* JACOB. STOP SNAP OUT OF IT
J: …………*jumps at edward again*
e: *barely dodges his snapping jaws*
(in the background …….but can I SPEAK is it hard understanding…….. im incompletel)
e: BNELLA STOP PLEASEEEE
J: *keeps jumping at edward with impossible amounts of force and energy* ……
(a love that’s so demanding…………. IEIODAIOJEWIOADJIOA WHWYY cann ii get WEAKK!!!! I AM NOT AFRAID OFtikwpoerkwopk)
e: *doesn’t want to use force to stop jaconn, but he’s forced to* jacob *does the thing whjere girls try to stop the guy from fighting* jacob its me! stop!!!!!!!!
bella: omg so cringe stop pls
J: *stops for a second but then goes back to fighting* ……
(awake and unafraid asleep)
e: *gets scratched by his werewolf claws, stares at the blood then gets mad* JACOB U STUPID FUCKING MUTT LOOK WHAT U DID TO MY PERFECT SKIN *restrains him with both arms*
J: *when yelled at fully stops but then shakes head and goes back to rage* …..
b: *notices that jacob stopped* omg… wtf *curses him stronger*
e: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
(the song is now… hmmm….. u decide… nanananananaanana LOL ok)
J: *goes at edward so hard knocks him over*........
e: hmmmm,......  jacob i don’t wanna fight u STOP
(na na na na so many security sto every enemy)
J: *stops for half a second blink and youll miss it but then goes back with even more anger*..
e: *thinking: wtf i do’? i cant fight bella to stop him cus then itll be 2 v 1 ./../….///.. .wait…. * *remmebres jacob;’s expression when bella slapped him,..... what if i…. what if* (jacob comes at him again but edward waits UNTIL he is close enough adn then slaps him across the face extremely hard that like he slams into a tree behind him* U STUPID FUCKING DOG
j:  *slides down tree and colapses on the ground….almost unconsiodusio* …….e…..edward….
(na na na is over and fades slowly bc  bella closes her mouth)
b: waht the fucking fukc did u fucking do u stupid sparkly gay boy????///// THAT WAS MY NEXT SKIN
e: *ignores her and goes to jacob* jacob…… r u ok…
J: *opens eyes slowly* ye….yeah…..i *inhales sharply bc pain or smth* im good…..
e: *checks him for wounds*
bella: *comes up behind edward and grabs him by the head then yeets him backwards* I SAID THATS MY SKIN STAY AWAY FROM him
J: EDWARD *tries to get up to fight her but stumbles*
b: stay down. that’s an order u dog
e: *comes back running* NYAHHHHHHHH
(bela and edward engage in a super epic battle u can imagine it however u want ok…..)
J: ………..
(they r far away enough that jacob can’t hear them….)
b: bro why r u fighting so hard to save ur friend or is that even a friend
e: *blushes* bro not right now
b: no seriously
e: …..
b: *thinking oh….* ew so yall r like that?
e: ….
b: *sigh* fine… u can have him… but under one condition
(what is this condition lemme think)
b: welcome to paradise…. dun dun dun dundu ndund a gunshot rings at the station………… ok i found it: u owe me ur firstborn child
e: ok (?)
(that’s how bella gets renesmee u decide how that happens)
e: *goes back to jacob* helo
J: are you ok…….what went down??????
e: nothing we totally didnt like f u ck or anything wtf why would u even ask that
J: *thinks wtf did they fuck….get kinda jealoudssss* oh…...so can we leave??
(the mist rises)
e: ok…. can you even walk?
J: yeah im fine *tries to stand but winces and leans against tree*
e: *is worried, but rolls eyes anyway* le,me call an uber
BREKAOUT ROOOM OVER NONOOOOOOOO ITS OK WE FINISHED THIS ARC TODAY WAS SO GOOD ABSOLUTELY BRILLAITN AS USUAL WE ARE AT 840 PERIODS LMAOAAAOOOO GOOD UGH HOW AMAZING IM EXCITED TO REREAD IT TOMOROW YESSS ME FUCKING TOO GAHAHAH
a/n Are they waiting for the uber or at home alreafy? first of all, use a/n, second up to u
(jacobs room)
J: ok im fine stop worrying  
(the whole werewolf clan is surrounding jacob who is lying on his bed, edward is standing facing the corner awkwardly and covering his nose)
biylly: No son. you were attacked by some fucking fairyand  i dont mean him *points to edward* like this is serious shit…. we should call a doctor… but who….
e: *quietly*……. i know… a doctor
a/n laksaodjjefiureyueryhu
J: who…….
e: *turns to face the gang, wich includes seth who i thnk is sexy* um……. carlisle…
J: wait your dad….leader of your incest clan….went to med school???
e: *hand twitches wanting to slap him, but can’t do so in front of his family, so restrains himself* ahem. yes. and we’re not an incest clan.
Billy: i aint bringing you to no vampire doctor we have to find someone else
J: no…..its ok…..i don't even need a doctor….
seth: *is a niner* dude… ur not even okl…. (what were his injuries again?) ur like body is like broken in multiple places…. but. *glares at edward* we can’t have more of Them in here……
e: *rolls eyes at seth* so what the fuck do u propose we do huh niner
seth: ……………… well if u really wanna know, i took grade 9 biology and also first aid….. i’m basically a doctor
a/n i really forget what happened to jacob but lets pretend hes basically dying (when isnt he)
J: uh no thanks seth…..really guys im ok….ive had worse….at least im alive…….
e: *still wants to slap him so bad but cant so instead slaps himself*
billy: wtf… *back to jacob* listen son. ur literally fukcing dying *gets emotional now* ….. we need to do something… *looks at seth* son… *(seth isn’t his son?) will u treat him?
seth: *smirks* ya of course billy…. *turns to jacob* listen ….. we can’t have u dying here…. us alphas need to look out for each other.
J; uhhhhhhhhh well like im kind of more beta…….but…...are you sure you know what youre doing????
billy: JACOB (does he have  a middle name) BLACK NEVER CALL URSELF A BETA EVER A FUCKING GAIN THE BLAHJBLAHBLAH TRIBE HAS BLAHDDBASBDOISDHIAOSJDIASJAJ …..
seth: yea h jacob ur definitely an a**a wtf ok . so first i need to see ur injuries…. where r u hurt?
J: basically everywhere…..she kind of fucked me up….but its cool
e: *still doesn’t know what to do so goes back to facing the wall*
seth: okay well… im gonna need u to like… ahem…. u know…. .disrobe…
J: oh...yeahok….*glances at edward who is still facing the wall**starts to take off shirt revealing 12 pack abs*
a;/n: lMFAO
(collective gasp as they see jacob’s injuries)
e: *begins slamming his head into the wall*
billy: oh my god son. …… this is horrible
seth: alright uhhhhhhhh *is overwhelmed* um …. ,... well u have… um ….  ur bleeding… and ur ribs are briken… so i gusss…… polysporin? edward can u pass it to me
e: *still staring at the wall* no
J: dude why are you always so difficult….plus after seth heals me hes gonna have to check you for a concussionos…..wtf r u doing????
e: *rolls eyes and turns around, but hes hit his head on the wall so hard that blood is dripping from his head into his eyes, blinding him (da blood from da dear ofc* he doesn’t need to fucking heal me. and i’ll get the polysporin. where is it?
J: in the bathroom i think…...down the hall to the left…
e: *goes to get it, blindly obviously and yeah he got it* *hands the polysporin to who he thinks is seth but he can’t actually see who he’s handing it to*
J: man are you ok??? Like maybe sit down for a bit…...thats not seth thats my dad
e: *angirly moves so hes handing it to seth, but in the process slaps seth in the face maybe not so accidentlly*
s: OH my fucking GOd  *mutters* i fucking hate vampires stupid fucks *begins putting polysporin on jacob*
J: uhhhhh is this gonna work…..like my ribs are broken...maybe we should call edwards dad….*looks down knowing they gonna be mad at the idea*
e: *has reverted to sitting in the corner staring at the wall blindly so not actually staring ig*
billy: shut the fuck up jacob. seth is doing an awesome job. looks better already kid
seth: *smirks, looking in edward’s direction* yeah im doing awesome
J: but like…….whatever….if youre done leave edward and i alone for a second…
seth: *finishes bandagnig jacob up* ok. .. but if u need anything… .anythng,... just call ok buddy?
billy: *leaves*
J: so i think i need a real doctor now
s: no u don’t im all u need *leaves*
J: i definitely need a real doctor now…..can you call your dad?
e: he’s not my dad…. and i cant.
J: bruh why not u said u would earlier
e: *can’t really remember due to insane brain damage* uh…… well he’s in italy now. so . ……….. i mean… yeah.
J: dude come here let me see your head
e: no
J: not in a gay way in a im actually worried about your health way
e: *doesn’t actually know where he is in the room bc he refuses to wipe the blood from his eyes* um………………. fine….. *starts walking then trips on jacob’s textbook* wtf….
J: come here sit down *reaches over and grabs his arm guiding him to the bed* here dumbass *wipes blood away from his eyes* does it hurt really bad??
e: *flatly* im a vampire . nothing hurts me. *looks at his bandagings * what the fuck did he do. *rolls eyes* this is unacceptable… *under his breath* stupid dumb fucking niner idiot who fcuckgirn ais trying to one up me i kwjeoijfdoijdeow grrr
J: sorry i didnt hear that last part whats up?
e: oh my god just stfu and *tyler tehecreator voice* elt me do what i need to fucking do *violently rips his bandages off* lemme do it properly because carlisle is in….. china… like i siad
J: uh you said he was in like france or something...also this fucking hurts can you stop being so angry???
e: *no reply. begins piecing his ribs back together w surgical tools he pulled from his pocket* dont move
J: yeah whatever…...why do you have all this shit….nerd…
e: *bc jacob’s ribs were literally sepeareted from what is it called in the centre of the ribs forgot, but his heart is exposed* stfu…. why is ur heart still beating……. *grabs his beating heart*
J: bro what the fuck….don't do that whats wrong with you….maybe bc im still half werewolf???? idk…
e: *eyes change colour….. he goes very still*
(they are both covered in jacob;s blood)
J: uhhhhhhhh edward…..youre scaring me man…...maybe you should go...or just say something please…
e: * eyes r still that whatever colour, but goes back to work silently, and releases the heart* ………………………….. *finishes and starts sewing the skin back up, then looks jacob in the eyes* u rlly should stop begging me bruh,........ it onlymakes me hungrier
J: oh uuhhhhhh sorry????
e: *bandages are finished, assess his work….* ugh finally ur better…… *slaps him* ive been waiting to do that
J: dude wtf…..why are you like this
e: ………….. well i need to do my english project if u don’t mind *goes to face the wall and closes his eyes*..... ……… …
J: you know you can like sit down right…..you don't have to stand t=in the corner
e: *sighs audibly then moves backwards with his eyes still closed and sits on the corner of jacob’s bed but he’s basically just hovering over it*
J: youre so fucking dramatic….youre stuck with me for like two weeks or something so you should probably get used to being around me
e: *opens his eyes and glares at jacob* it’s one month first of all. and i don’t want to get used to you. you fucking stink and ur covered in blood.
J: *smirks* i thouht you liked blood...and you smell like shit too you know
BREAKOUIT ROROM ENDINGUIRNGTRIGNT NOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK UAK WHATS COMING NEXT EW IT WAS ME AND ROB FOR A SECOND EW OMG BRO WE BE WRITING 1K WORDS PER DAY BRUHHHHH OUR FIUCKING POWER ITS SO AMAZING
e: *smells himself* no i dont’ smell like i shit
J: *smirks* you do to me...ugly vampire smell
e: you really should respect me more…. im the one who fixed ur fucking ribs not like seth who used fucking POLYSPORIN
J: its ok….you don't need to be jealous of seth…..i don't like him like that
e: what the fuck>>??? im not jealous of him i literally never said that…… isn’t he ur fucking brother?
a/n hes not lmao edward doesn tknow that
J: wtf????? U thot he was my brother???? Not all native american werewolves are related asshole
e: yall arent….. then why tf are yall in the same tribe huh riddle me that
J: i……...we….how do you think tribes work?????
e: u tell me
a/n I GOT JUMPSCARED BY ROBS VOICE SO HARD LMAO  LOL CAN HE STFU IDC AT ALL ME TOO YALL SHUT UP i straight up dont care this sucksnot interested in yalls feedback for us stfu with the “no one is left out” GUESS WHAT U WILL BE LEFT OUT IN LIFE THATS HOW IT IS ESPECIALLY IF UR FUCKING UGLY LIKE SOME OF YALL stfu with math bulshit 6 is divided by 4 simply will it to be TINA STFU LOL YES HAHAHA we will excluse ourselves “andie doesnt count” how dare u sigh there is no feedback they could possibly give us LMAO RIGHT ugh fuck this and i don't need yall yall can be a group if u wanna we always do anyways yall back to work stfu
J: we….just like hangout…...we aren’t related…….at all……
e: ……….oh……………………………………. well i had no idea thats how tribes work
J: you could have just asked…..
e: *doesn’t reply and goes back to work on his english project*
J: *rolls eyes* youre so fucking lame can u not be a nerd for 5 minutes???
e: *throws pencil like a dart and it sticks in jacobs forehead* LITERALLY WTF DO U WANT ME TO DO HUH. I DONT WANNA FUCKING BE HERE. BUT WE CANT GO OUTSIDE CUS ITS NIGHT (flashbacK: andrew’s curfew for who fucking knows why)
J: *dies*
e: *rolls eyes* i literally know ur not dead cus the curse is still on
J: *still dead*
e: *sighs* ……. * thinks about fall out boy specifically how whats his name never eununciates anything* helloooooooooooooo wake tf up ugly
J: *dead*
e: this aint a scene its a godamn ahms rahce , like why does he say it like that
J: idk man but its a banger tho
e: disagree its so fcuking annoinyg. ahms rahce ahms ahms and like when he says down he doesnt even say down its like dawhhhh
J: i mean yeah but its a classic….and his voice….iconic….
e: *shrugs* yeah ur right…. you know………………. back in the 60s i used to be in a band…
J: oh shit deadasss? Were yall any good????
e: *slaps his uninjured leg* obvioisl;y we were fucking good…. we were really popular too…. *sigh* i had so many bitches
J: *mad kind of bc bitches* well if u were so popular would i know any of your songs??? What was the band called???
e: ……….well ….. *pulls out guitar and drum kit and like every instrument and begins playing them* it goes alittle like this….. here comes the sun dododododood here comes the sun … .
a/n IM CRYING
J: wtf that shits sucks….ive literally never heard that before
e: *rolls eyes* obviously it sucks now , but back in the segragation days,,,,,,, this shit was spectuacualr.. ….. and btw, this is the BEATLES … which by the way,,,,,, i was in
J: wtf i have never heard of yall….u named ur band after a bug thats so weird…..ur shit is trash man
e: *slaps him but this time on the face* shtut he fuck up and stop talking shit about my band… ive literally never seen u do anything of worth in ur what…. how fucking old are u,.... like 16 years of life
J: i get so many bitches u would not believe
e: *rolsl eyes* LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL……. u know i can read everyone’s minds right? everyone  and i mean everyone wants me at school….. like no one is thinking about u
J: *angry* maybe thats true but they only want u bc they think ur hot….if they actually got to know u no one and i mean no one would ever even look at you….youre disgusting and terrible and honestly not even that hot up close
e: *rolls eyes* listen old sport =..... when ur my age…. and also immortal… and sexy….. relationships with humans dont fucking matter. i dont need them to like me, cus guess what ? they re gonna fucking die anyways or ill proabbly eat them… they just need to think im hot. and by the way, i am fucking hot up close….. *tilts his head to remind jacob of their first talking or whatever encounter at edward’s house…….*
J: *angerily silent*.......
e: *starts laughing* like……..  i didnt even do anything and u were like….. .ahahahhahahahahhahahah
J; *still silent* …………………….
(momentarily silence, until edward notices his hands are still really bloody… )
e: *to himself* ugh…. this is gross……. *starts licking the blood off his hands* mmmmm
J: *makes disgusted face but still doesnt say anything*........
e: *finishes cleaning his hands and wipes it on jacob’s sheets* hmmm….. *checks phone* holy shit my amazon order is here…..
J: *mumbles* go get it then……
e: *goes to the downstairs or whatever and it should be ok bc its within like 20m but as soon as he gets to jacob’s door they both feel intense pain* wtf……… im not….. even…… 20m…. away …. from u ….
J: …...stupid….double….vampire...shit…..
e: ….. *comes closer to esase the pain* ugh…. im so…. fukcing… mad… u sfuckign idit…… *punches hole in jacob’s wall.* …. ok u need to come with me downstairs so i can get my package
J: i literally cant fucking walk selfish idiot
e: grrr.r…… i need…. my mf.../.. amazon prime bed thing……… fine…. *throws jacob over his shoulder* u dont need to walk
J: ahhhh wtf...ur so fucking weird...this is gay man
e: its literally not so stfu *goes downstairs to get his package*
(billy and other wolf members: :|
J: what the fuck is wrong with u u could have gotten someone to bring it p for u wtf
e: *rolls eyes and bends to get the package* …. i have amazon prime^2,,,,,, the package will explode if it doesnt recognize my fingerprint *scans his fingerprint* and my eyeball *scans eyeball and gets package to go upstairs*
J: i hate rich people so fucking much what is wrong with you
e: *throws jacob back onto his bed and rips open the package with his vampire teeth* fuckign finally
J: ok can we get some fucking sleep now???? This day has been way too much
e: *looks him up and down* yeah for u maybe…. vampires dont even need sleep *sets up bed, its literally huge and takes up most of jacobs room*
J: THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED A BED FOR THEN?????????
e: *slaps him* stop fuckign questioning me…. i need it to relax in…. and watch tik toks…
J: what the fuck….you know what i don't care…..good fucking night….
e: *doesn’t reply and gets settled in his huge bed and opens tik tok and watches them at high volume no headphones*
J: BRUH CAN U GET SOME FUCKING HEADPHONES WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU e: *looks up to jacob across the room* i forgot them at home… holdup lkemme amazon prime some new ones
J: bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just like turn the volume down
e: *exhales through nose at a funny tiktok and doesn’t hear jacob*
J: what. the . fuck. *puts pillow over head and tried to sleep*
e: *is now standing on his bed attempting to learn a tik tok dance but hes super tall so his head keeps slamming against the ceiling* renegade rengage
BREAKOUT ROROMRM ENDEIDN STOP NMITERUPTTING MY FUCKING SETENCE I KNOW LOL DID BUT THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYnegade reennegadge
Sorry bro ok bye
(now is morning)
e: *been watching tik toks all night long*
J: *has not slept at all* bruhhhhhhhhhh
e: *has learned every dance possible, now is 2nd after charli damelio in popularity* stfu im working
J: i cant do this…….we need to figure something else out…….
e: *puts his phone downe for the first time in hours* *sighs* …….. jacob,.... u need to understand this…… *sad music begins to play, lights down, spotlight on edward* *ewdward looks out the window wistfully* im….. im a father  now jacob….. i dont have time to “figure things out”...... fatherhood was thrown into my life….
J: wtf…….u r literallykt not in ur childs life at al…...do u even pay child support…..rich bitch…...ur not a father…...u just fucked a girl…….
e: *rolls eyes* first of all, she’s half vamp half faerie like she literally doesnt need money to livem, second that wasn’t just any girl that was bella swan………. i feel terribly guilty jacob,...... i should be in rmeumememeueneneseeeses’s life
J: bruh…...so ur like in love with bella now????? And wtf…….what r u gonna do raise her now???? Nah i don wanna be part of this
e: dude… im not in love with her… it’s just my duty as a father………. And who said ur gonna be a part of this? ……… *thinks* maybe i should get married to her?
J: u literally just said she don't need u so why u acting different???? Also im gonna have to be a part of this bc we cannot be more than 10m apart idiot
e: that’s literally temporary………………………………..
J: oh so ur just gonna wait til this is over….shes gonna hate u
e: *slaps him* u don’t know that…… plus it’ll be a good way to pass a couple centuries…..
J: bro but i DO know that….my mom left us or died or sometihng…..and like….if she came back into my life now….id hate her……
e: yeah but ur a fucking werewofl us vampires and feareires dont think like that….. why are u so against this?
J: honestly do whatever u want……...ill be fine as long as youre away from me……
e: well…….. good… glad we’re on the same page *goes back to his bed to watch tiktoks*
J: *sighs and lies on bed staring at the ceiling* *thinks* this is probably a good thing….edward has brought me nothing but pain….
e: *doesn’t scroll on the tiktok whe’s watching so the sound keeps playing over and over again and hes thinking……: why….. do i feel so guilty? i thought it was about renesueme but…………... *out loud* uh. /…… .were we supposed to um go to mclonad’s or something?
J:.......oh yeah….i guess…..if you wanted to….
e: *suddenly annoyed* it was ur fucking idea to go……….
J: bro whatever chill…..lets go then….
e: ok……. like we dont have to go if u dont want to…. its just u mentioned it…..
J: no like we can go….anythings better than hunting with u….
e: ok but do you want to go or u just saying that cus then its a fucking waste of time
J: OH MY GOD LETS JUST GO
e: *slaps him* dont use that attitude with me ,...... u fucking dog
J: *rolls eyes* what the fuck ever…..ur driving
e: i didn’t bring my car with me stupid…….
J: well what the fuck r we gonna do then?????????
e: …… dont u have a car or smthn……. or we could run there
J: im poor remember????? And im also still injured>>>so like wtf now
e: (flashback: new moon, jacob literally has a motorcycle) …./…. dont u have a motorcycle or a truck helllooooooooo
J: ur so fucking insensitive…….we had to sell those to buy groceries…….fuck you…..
e: *under his breath* i guess no sharing motorcycle drivigng…. *sigh* ok uber eatss?
J: yeah whatever…….oh wait….seth has a motorcycle i think….maybe we could ask to borrow it…..
e: *annnoyed* ew…. i dont wanna use seth’s motorcycle……
J: bruhhhhhhhhh y r  u always so fucking difficult
e: im not difficult bruh
J: u fucking r
e: fine. use fuckings seth’s motorycycle from him hes ugly anyway
J: alright sick
1 note · View note
chocojjk · 6 years ago
Text
Eggs
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summary: badboy! changbin if you squint 
words: 7k
warnings: one mention of death by illness
a/n: this took way too long cause i got so lazy lmfao, slide into my inbox with prompts cause idk what to write after this 
not edited per usual, im lazy :(((
you and changbin lived in different worlds
changbin has always been the schools most notorious bad boy
along with his group, 3racha
he was the typical bad boy -- gets into fights, wears leather, barely shows up to class, etc.
after watching countless of rom-coms, you and i, reader, should know that bad boys like to keep to themselves
and they won't bother you unless you cross their territory, not at all different from changbin
someone bullies one of his friends???
you might as well run now , because he will be coming for your ass
he catches you talking shit?
you should probably say goodbye to your mouth and have a doctors appointment ready
the point im trying to make is that seo changbin does not take shit from anyone
which doesn't really matter at this point because everyone has learned to fear him
on the other hand, you're, what they say is a “good girl”
too caught up with your books and your grades, in the library 24/7, worrying too much about the future you envision
you stayed away from drama as much as possible, happy with the 2-3 friends that you have  
and,,,
well,,,
you probably saw this coming,, but just in case you didnt, ill say it
your two different worlds are about to collide
---------------
youve been searching for a little over 20 minutes to where he could be when you finally spotted him at the table all way in the back of the library
you let out the deepest sigh, you shouldve figured he would choose that table jfc
‘he really is sticking to his reputation’ you think to yourself as you made your way over to him
“hi, im y/n, i'm your tutor,” you say, giving him a soft smile
changbin doesn't even bother to reply to you as he got up and left
you were left standing there like,,,
what the fuck just happened ??
before you finally snapped out of your confused trance and chased after him
catching up to him you grab his arm, putting a complete halt to his movement
and suddenly the library was even quieter than it should be
every single eye in the room focused on the interaction that lies in front of them
the notorious bad boy and the goody two shoes,,, how incredibly cliche
he looks at you, his eyes dark and unreadable
the expression on his face was emotionless yet it felt like he was crushing you under his stare
finally noticing that your hand was still gripped around his arm, you quickly let go, letting out a small “ehem”
the tension in the air was thick, it felt like someone just put a dark cloud above your head and you couldn’t blow it away
god damn this was awkward
not even the good awkward where you can laugh about it later, this is the kind of awkward situation that hits you in the middle of the night and suddenly you're just cringing at every bad thing you have done in the past
“uhm, im suppose to tutor you,” you try to say confidently as soon as you found your voice, but really it was barely above a whisper
“maybe show up on time,” he says, his voice as dark and as strong as his aura
and with one final look at you, he walked out of there
you didnt bother anymore, you knew you were at fault
‘we’ll try again tomorrow,’ you think to yourself before your best friend, hyunjin walked up to you, pulling you outside the library  
“dude are you okay?”
“uhmm, why wouldn’t i be?”
“i just saw you talking to changbin”
“ok and ?”
“he’s bad news y/n,” your best friend says, warning you
“ i dont really have a choice hyunjin” you reply
you think back to 3 days ago when you were called to the principal's office
not gonna lie, you were shaking in your boots,, only bad kids get randomly sent to the principal's office
as you entered the room, Mrs. Seo was already waiting for you behind her desk
“hi ms. l/n, i dont think weve formally met,” she says, reaching out to shake your hand
“ its nice to meet you”
“ please, sit down, make yourself comfortable,” she continued, pointing to the seat right in front of her
sensing your nervousness she quickly added a, “don't worry, you're not in trouble”
phew
your brain was starting to hurt from trying to rack what you must have done wrong to be seated in the big office
“ why am i here then if you don't mind me asking?”
“ ah yes, i need you to tutor my son”
,,,,,
oh
(◎_◎;)
,,,
“umm, why me?”
“you're top 1 in the class, is there anyone better than you to do it?”
well,,, she wasn't wrong
you mentally pat yourself at the back for this, happy that your efforts were being noticed
“don't worry ms. l/n, if you succeed, i’ll make sure you get into any college that you desire “
‘pshhhh, im top 1 ms seo, i can do that on my own’ you think to yourself 
“....and fully paid for.”
well, shit , how can you say no to that offer
its literally free education right in your fingertips  
what's the catch??
“ you can do that?” you ask
“ of course. i know very important people. so what do you say?”
and after a few minutes of contemplating within yourself, you finally agreed
“ also, while you're at it, i want you to change my son's reputation.”
and there it is
“ i'm sorry?” you reply,, maybe you just misheard the fact that she literally asked you to change her son
“ i don't just want you to tutor him in english, i want you to make him a better person.”
“how do you expect me to do that?”
“be his friend. teach him the ways of life, i'm not always gonna be around to get him out of trouble. You're a smart girl ms. l/n you'll figure it out.”
without giving you a final say, she ushered you out of there but not before she added
“ one last thing ms. l/n, dont tell anyone about this.”
the way she said it was so scary, and its like a spell was casted on you and you could only utter out an
“ of course mam”
i guess from her standpoint, she made sense
“ i just dont understand why Mrs. Seo chose you out of all the people”
“ we’ve already gon over this hyunjin”
“ yeah yeah, its cause youre the smartest of the class-”
hyunjin continues to talk however you’ve tuned him out as your eyes went to focus on changbin, himself
greeting the rest of his friends, an actual smile on his face, much different from the changbin you encountered a couple minutes ago
he gets up on his motorcycle and was about ready to put his helmet on when he felt someone staring at him ( i told yall, tYpiCAl bad boy )
he whips his head around in quick search for the culprit
and for the second time that day, you found yourself looking in the dark brown eyes of the the one and only, seo changbin
his smile quickly disappearing once he found your eyes
putting on his helmet whilst still maintaining the eye contact, he quickly drove away and you can't help but continue to just watch his figure retreat to the size of a dot until he was completely away from your line of vision
the next day - friday
you were in the library, seated in the table changbin used the day before
unlike yesterday, you were there dummy early
exactly 30 minutes before the actual tutoring session
he wasn't going to get away this time
finally , the chair across from you gets occupied, a backpack loudly flopping its way unto the table
he doesn't say a word,
he doesn't even look at you
he just sits there, staring at the table between you guys
“uhm, i think we got on the wrong foot yesterday, im y/n”
you say, a wide smile on your face, trying to change the atmosphere
he scoffs at this
‘omyfuckinggod who does he think he is’
‘im gonna fucking murder this kid’
‘his mom was right when he said he needed to change’
as much as you wanted to just punch him in the face, you plastered a small smile on your face instead
“should we start?” you continue
“i guess”
for the next hour, you learn that changbin doesn’t even need tutoring
he was definitely smarter than he lead on
he knew the answer to every single question you asked and didnt even seem like he was trying 
“uhmm, changbin can i ask you something?”
he just nods at you, urging you to go on
“are you failing your class on purpose?”
and with that he stands up, giving you a small smirk, “i think this session is over,”
“i-okay- i-i’ll see you on monday!” you say even though he was already a good 5 feet away from you  
-----------
as you laid in your bed that night, you wondered why the boy chose to fail his class
but no matter what scenario you could think of, you just cant understand it
is this what privileged people do ?
they know that they can get away with anything so they dont even try ?
‘aish, why am i thinking about him,’
‘y/n stop it’
‘ahhhhh’
you tried forcing yourself to sleep, to completely shut off all thoughts
but damn that stupid smirk on his face just keeps reappearing
and with that you slapped your pillow unto your face, not at all excited for the days to come
saturday night - 9 pm
to be honest, you weren't the type to go out on a saturday night
however you stayed in bed the whole day binging your netflix shows that you completely forgot to run your errands
so now you're here, at the local supermarket, buying your weekly groceries
you may be asking why can't your parents just do it?
well,,,
you only live with your mom, and she was very busy running the night shift at the hospital + picking up extra shifts
so she's really never home 
and when she is, she crashes right to sleep, exhausted from work
so ever since two years ago, when you turned 16, this has been the life that you were used to
you weren't complaining of course, she was only working to provide for you and your future
the least you could do is help around the house
after a good 7 minutes, you finally gathered everything that you needed
eggs, check
bread, check
peanut butter, check
a bag of hot cheetos,,,, check check and check
you nodded, proud of yourself for finishing it so fast and made your way to your car until a loud crash stops you from doing so
the next thing you know, you were being dragged into the alleyway
“1!!!!1111! I- get off of me,” you say thrashing and kicking, trying to get away
‘oh god, im gonna die tonight,’
‘if there is a god out there,, pls,,, not tonight’
‘i haven't finished my netflix series yet,, plssss’
however your thoughts were cut short when your captor whispered, “shhh, its changbin”
changbin??
chaNgbIN???
chANGBIN???
he finally turns you around, making you face him
“play along if you don't want to get hurt,”
and in one quick motion, his lips were on yours,,,
seo changbin was kissing you
your eyes open, stunned at what was happening
and then you noticed it...5 men walking around the area
and hoping that you've watched the right dramas, you pieced together what you think is happening
leading you to closing your eyes and kissing him back
which honestly caught changbin off guard, “good girls” dont react this way???
but he’d never let you know that, as he pulled you closer to him,
his arms snaking  around your waist
your hands going around his neck, the grocery bag being forgotten
yall were full on making out now
too caught up with each other’s taste to even notice the 5 guys leaving
(((im really bad at writing these kinds of scenes jfc, this sounds awkward as hell pls just picture it)))
until finally after like 23823 years, you pulled away, trying to catch your breath
damn, that kiss was good
probably the best one you’ve ever had
what????
just cause you're a goody-two-shoes doesn't mean you haven't been kissed before okay,,, were not going THAT cliche
he slowly lets go of you, his eyes darting to the grocery bag on the ground
“your eggs are broken,” he says
“m-my eggs?”, you reply, still on cloud nine,
following his gaze, you snapped out of your daze
“oh, r-right, my eggs,” you say softly, a frown making its way upon your face
changbin grabs your hand, pulling you towards the grocery store
“what are you doing?”
as usual, he doesn’t reply
honestly, you should be used to this by now
he dashes around the supermarket
you were right behind him, trying to keep up with his fast paced speed
finally, he gets to his location, the egg aisle
“which one do you want?”
“what?”
“eggs, which one?” he replies
“uhm, you don't have to, i can ju-”
“i'm not doing this for you,” he replies, cutting you off
you looked at him , not knowing what he meant
‘if he wasn't doing it for me then who the fuck is he buying these eggs for, i don't see anyone else here’
sensing your dumbness he grabbed a carton of the most expensive eggs and made his way to the cashier, pulling you along  
and you don't know why, or what has gotten into you, but all you could do was watch and follow
“here. were even now.” he says, before walking away, leaving you in front of the grocery store, holding a carton of eggs
monday
and now we’re back to the start of the week
which means another week of tutoring
as you waited for changbin to show up at the usual spot, you can’t help but think back to two nights ago
the feeling of his lips against yours all a distant memory yet at the same time, one that you could still remember clearly
“hey,” changbin says, breaking you out of your thoughts
“hi?” you reply, confused as to why he even greeted you in the first place
you guys do the usual, read a couple of flash cards, learn new words blah blah blah and all that boring crap that you learn in a high school English class
at one point you guys find yourself just sat in silence, and you can’t help but ask the question that’s been on your mind since Saturday night
“so who were those guys?”
“doesn’t concern you”
“uhm, the fact that you had your tongue down my mouth says otherwise,”
changbin was shocked, he wasn’t used to people responding to him the way you just did
don’t you know who he is???
he gives you one of his signature smirks, regaining his composure
“you liked my tongue being down your throat,” he says teasingly
o_O
<(。_。)>
excuse me what
is he flirting with you ??
what’s happening ??
“who said I did?” you say mimicking his tone, not allowing yourself to back down of this conversation
after Saturday night you told yourself that you were never going to just watch and follow
if you didn’t want the damn egg, you should’ve said something, you were so disappointed in yourself
you had your own brain, you can make your own decisions
besides you were here to be in control over him, not the other way around
“oh cmon, you’re really gonna try to refute it??” he says, the stupid smirk still evident on his stupid face
god, how you wish you could just smack it off
with your mouth
wait, who said that???
“you enjoyed it just as much as I did,” you say, knowing that if you answer then he would stop
and you were right, he completely shut his mouth and let the silence envelop you once again
“they were kids from another school,”
you look up at him, shocked that he actually answered
“why were they looking for you?”
“I may have keyed their car,” he says chuckling
“Because?”
“Isn’t that enough questions y/n?”
y/n
that was the first time he’s ever said your name
and you weren’t gonna lie, you liked how it sounded
“sorry”
“it’s fine”
“i don’t want to question it but why are you being so nice?”
“you helped me out without questioning me which means you trust me. im just returning the favor.”
“so, what im hearing is , you trust me?”
<( ̄︶ ̄)>
“don’t make me have to say it out loud”
trust
you don’t know how you did it so quickly,
maybe the gods are at your side, but you finally got thE seo changbin to trust you
2  weeks later
you’ve been tutoring changbin just the same
same time
same table
same library
however, so much has changed
mostly the dynamic of your guys’ relationship
it was like he was a totally different person
like I said before, changbin was smart
but in these last couple of days, you realized just how smart he actually was,
he can honestly probably give you a run for your money
and because of this, your past tutoring sessions have ended up with you guys just laughing and joking around
weird, right ?
changbin and laughing ?
who would’ve thought ??
even onlookers were surprised
and everytime changbin laughed at one of your guys’ silly antics, you swear you can hear a pin drop
the whole room just becomes silent
at first, it bothered you how people were just listening in to your conversation, obviously judging the scene
but as the days went by and it seemed that changbin could care less, you started not caring either
and if you were being completely honest, you looked forward to spending time with him
when changbin was with you, it was just you and changbin, nothing else
he somehow manages to make you forget about reality
“lets ditch tutoring sessions today,” he says as soon as he took the seat next to you
“changbin, no”
“c’mon y/n, live a little”
“excuse you! I do have a life!”
“making out with your homework and watching Netflix shows 24/7 is not a life”
“okAy, now you’re just being mean,” you say, pouting at him
“im not being mean, I’m being honest,”
“yeAH and?? no one asked for your honesty,”
changbin laughs at this
lately he found himself laughing more
and for once, he didn’t mind it
you were doing something to him
and he liked it
“cmon, I’m not taking no for an answer,” he says, packing up your things
you sigh in defeat
you know that once changbin sets his mind to something, there's no changing it
so here you are, standing in front of an abandoned music building
“uhhhh, what are we doing here?”
“have you ever trespassed before?” he replies, a smug smile on his face
“nu-uh nope, no way in hell changbin!” you say, your attempt to stop this from happening
however, changbin was already making his way towards the door, completely breaking the lock
aannnndd
he was inside  
“c’mon y/n,” he says reaching out his hand to yours
even though all you need to do is take two steps forward and you're officially a criminal
you were scared shitless
what happens if you get caught omg
almost like he was reading your mind, he quickly says, “y/n, ive been here over a million times and ive never gotten caught,”
“i dont know changbin”
“hm, thats too bad, i wanted to share a secret with you,” he says, a hint of playfulness in his voice before he stepped out of the building and made his way towards his motorcycle
but of course,,,
you being a nosy bitch
“wait,”
“yes?”
“lets go inside”
you guys enter the building, the rooms getting darker and darker the deeper you go (this building is huge okAY)
if you weren't shitting your pants before, you definitely are now 
an abandoned building???
and its dark???
youve seen this in every scary movie out there
it never goes well
“uhm changbin,” you whisper, as you guys continue to walk
“hm”
“i-um can i hold your hand? im scared and - actually you know what its fine its dumb you dont hav-”
but before you can even finish your sentence, his hand were already laced around yours, providing you the comfort and security that you were looking for
you shut your mouth after that, just letting changbin lead the way
passing by so many rooms, each one looking the same as the other, it was starting to feel like a maze
however , changbin seemed to know exactly where to go
‘I guess he has been here over a million times’ you thought to yourself
“were here,” he says, opening the door and letting go of your hands as he reached out for the lights
not gonna lie, you were missing the way his hand felt around yours but thats not the time to think about that
“a music room?” you asked, clearly puzzled
“yeah, you might not know this about me but i can spit barsss,” he says, letting out chuckle
“eyE”
“you dont believe me huh”
“absolutely not”
“ok, watch this”
and with that he entered the recording booth, of course not after he pressed a bunch of buttons
honestly , you have no idea what he’s doing
but as soon as he put the headphones on
*cue any 3racha song because im too indecisive to choose one*
he was,,
indeed,,,
spitting bars
you could not believe your ears
who the fuck is this
you stood there, stunned at the fact the he was rapping about real shit and not something stupid and meaningless (rip wow, she is meaNinGFUL to me okAY)
after he finished rapping, the room was absolute silent
changbin felt dumb, he thought you were gonna praise him but there you were not uttering a single word,
he need you to say something ,anything,, hell, you can even laugh
he’d prefer anything over the silence  
he’s literally the ‘i just showed u my dick pls respond’ meme but its like ‘i showed u my talent pls validate me’
avoiding to make eye contact with you, he walks out of the recording booth
sitting on the couch against the wall, he finally breaks the silence
“so yeah, thats a song my friends and i wrote, its stupid-”
“its not stupid.” you say quickly
“oh?”
“since when where you into this?” you ask, curiosity filling your eyes, taking the seat right next to him
“what do you mean? music?? everyone’s into music y/n” changbin retorts, not wanting to go into detail
“hhhh, you know what i mean changbin,”
changbin doesnt know why
but he wanted to share this side of him with you
maybe because you were the first person that he has ever allowed himself to be close with
or maybe it was because you stuck around him for this long, no one, besides chan and jisung were able to do that
whatever it was, he wants to keep you by his side
he figured that showing you his true self would do just that
so after having a battle with his inner thoughts, he finally says
“my dad was really into this stuff, he taught me everything i know,” changbin beamed
“oh! thats really cool, do you still make music with him?” you say, genuinely interested, youve never really heard about his dad before
“uhmm, hes not really around for me to do that,”
aaaannd,,, thats why,, god reader smh
“oh, im sorry,” you say softly, mentally slapping yourself
“no its okay, you didnt know….he passed away when i was 11”
“what happened?,,,, y-you dont have to tell me if you dont want to,” you quickly added
“I want to,” changbin says, reassuring you
“he just,,, he just died in his sleep, apparently it was a stroke,” sighing, he looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back his tears
“you must miss him,” you say, your voice still soft
for the first time since youve met changbin, he resembled a piece of glass
so fragile
he was giving you a piece of him, letting you see clearly a part of who he was
and all you wanna do is make sure that you won’t break that piece
“he built this studio...wanted to start his own music company,” he continued as you sat there just listening to him
“my mom hates it though, she stopped funding this place as soon as she can,”
oh
the mention of his mom suddenly brought you back to the deal that you have made 2 weeks ago
and god, you felt guilty
you were here, trying to change him, when nothing should be changed
sure seo changbin had a bad reputation but he is not bad
he’s just protective is all
to be honest, he was one of the kindest, gentlest soul you have met
“i promised myself that i would continue our dream, for him and me, but mostly for him,”
“i-is that why youre failing your classes?” you ask, everything finally piecing together
“huh?”
“you dont care about school because you already know what you want to do...where you want to be”
“hm, you truly are a smart girl y/n,” he says before nodding and flashing you a smile
those words
so similar to the ones his mom has given you
but this time you weren't in the mood to pat yourself in the back
because shit, this is thE dumbest thing you've ever done in your life
after hearing this, you made up your mind, you werent gonna partake in this deal anymore
if you were really as smart as everyone says, you can get into the school you want without any problem
sure it won't be free, but your mom aint working her ass off during her nightly shifts for nothing
and so, right when you go to school tomorrow, you were determined to end it
you’d still tutor changbin, you just won't accept any of the perks that came along with it
“thank you for sharing this with me,” you say genuinely, a smile creeping unto your face
“thank you for caring enough to listen,” changbin replies, his smile getting wider
and then it hits you,
“wait, so you mean to tell me that this is YOUR studio all along??”
and at this changbin lets out the loudest laugh
and you can't help but mirror his actions
1 week later
oof, that time jump, i thought you were gonna end it the next day reader
welp,,
you work hard, but somehow satan, aka the author, works harder
Mrs. Seo had to leave for two weeks, attending board meetings around the country, and whatever principals do,,, i'm too lazy to research what they actually do  
╥﹏╥
and so you spent another week, with seo changbin by your side
one week down, another to go
and when that day comes, you can finally freely hang out with him without all the guilt eating you up
this week you guys even hung out outside of the library
you’ve been with him so much, even your friends have started to notice it
“y/n, are you coming with us to the movies,” felix asks
“oh,, umm sorry guys, i cant,”
“who else are you gonna be with? i thought we were your only friends,” minho pointed out, a pout on his face  
“with changbin of course,” hyunjin hissed, obviously upset that you have been pushing them to the side  
“ i can hang out with anyone that i want,” you argued, really not having any of his attitude 
“ you shouldnt hang out with people like him,” hyunjin retorted
you scoffed, “what’s that supposed to mean?”
“i mean blink once if youre being held captive” hyunjin joked, as the rest of the table snickered
however, you didn't find it funny,
who were they to talk about changbin like that??
they didnt even know him
and so you stood up, leaving all your friends calling out for you
-------------
walking to the table, you flopped down on your chair, slamming your backpack on the floor
“what's got you in such a bad mood?” changbin asks
“nothing,” you huffed, getting your materials out of your backpack
you didn't want to tell changbin that your best friends think hes the devil himself and didn't want you around him
meanwhile , changbin was annoyed
it seems like he's shared so much with you since the music room yet he still barely knows anything about you
he wondered that maybe you didn't want to be in his life the way he wanted to be in yours
but fuck it, he’s just gonna spend the time he has with you enjoying it rather than filling his mind with negative thoughts
but damn, you're frown was really bothering him
“y/n,” he says, calling out to you
no response
“y/n,” he continues, poking you on the elbow
still no response
“y/n”
You sigh, looking up at him, an emotionless expression on your face, you responded with a strong, “what.”
*insert changbin doing aegyo*
and with that , you lost it
you were an absolute madman
you never expected that the one and only seo changbin
notorious badboy
would ever do aegyo
all because you had a stupid frown on yourself
you laughed so loud
changbin doing the same as soon as your melodic laugh hit his ears
which resulted to you guys being kicked out of the library
-------------
“ i cant believe you got me kicked out of my favorite place,” you say, seated in a booth inside the ice cream parlor near your guys’ school
another one of changbins ideas
“ hey its not my fault you laugh like a hyena!” he says smiling before you threw a curled up paper tissue at his face
a couple of seconds later, after your laughter has died down
“ so, you want to tell me now why you were in such a sour mood?”
you knew that if you werent gonna tell him now that would still end up finding out about it from someone else
and so you came clean
“ its just my friends,,,, they dont think youre a good influence, wants me to stop hanging out with you” you say
“ oh,”
“ but dont worry!, i didnt listen to them, i actually told them off,” you confessed
“ why didnt you listen to them? theyve been your friends longer than youve known me?” he asks
“ because they dont know you” you reply, “and im sure if they did, they would also be friends with you”
as much as he appreciated the way you stood up for him, he didnt want you going through all that trouble 
‘god, what did he even do to deserve an angel like you,’ changbin thinks to himself 
“ don't tell them off next time,” he grunted
“ wh-what?”
“ everything they say about me is true”
“ changbin, no its not”
“ honestly y/n it doesnt bother me so dont let it bother you”
“ why doesnt it bother you?” you ask, wanting to know the reason
“ because its high school. after this, literally no one would care anymore. and then real life starts, people move on and worry about bigger things, things that actually matter more than the status quo. let them say what they say.”
and just like every other time, changbin has left you stunned
the arrival of Ms. Seo - tuesday 
a week has passed since the ice cream parlor
and Ms. Seo was back in town
this was it
the day you finally put a halt to it
and you were beyond ready
you haven't seen changbin all day
you figured that since his mom was back then he was also back to avoiding the school like it was a plague
you entered Ms. Seos room, determined
“Ms. Seo -”
She puts a hand up to her lips, signaling you to be quiet
‘bitch omygod i literally cant keep doing this any longer,’
‘its already been over a month’
so you ignored her warning
“im not doing this deal anymore. I’ll still tutor changbin but I won’t change him,,,, and you can keep your stupid money,” you let out, releasing all the bottled up emotions
“is that all,”she replies
“yes”
“then you may leave”
what???
it was that easy????
you thought she was gonna stop you, force you to hold your end of the bargain
if you knew it would’ve been this easy then you wouldn’t have worried over it so much
but you don’t know a lot of things
and you certainly didnt know that changbin was on the other line
later that day
you’re seated in the library
usual place, usual time, waiting for the one and only seo changbin, yet he never showed
you didn’t think much of it
‘maybe he just forgot’ you tell yourself
the next day - wednesday
here you were again, waiting for him
still nothing
you try and think of reasons why he wouldn’t show up two days in a row and can really only think of one - maybe his mom told him that he didn’t need tutoring anymore?
but surely, he would tell you
right ???
sure you guys started off on the wrong foot but you were friends now
at least you thought so
you decided to just give him the benefit of the doubt
‘maybe he’s just busy’
2 days later - friday
you’ve tried everything you can do to get a hold of changbin
all your calls went straight to voicemail
texts were left on delivered
you didn’t even see him around school anymore
it was like your worlds never collided and he was never a part of yours
you were starting to get worried, what if he got himself into trouble
“look who decided to show her face,” hyunjin comments as you took the seat next to him
ever since the day you guys had your argument, you have never been able to talk to him about it
“im not in the mood,” you reply,
hyunjin sensing that you were exhausted,
“hey,” he says softly, “what’s wrong?”
“nothing”
“y/n please, we’ve been friends for over 3 years, you don’t need to lie to me”
“aren’t you mad at me?”
“no. im upset that you’ve been pushing us to the side for your little boy toy but im not mad,” he says giving you a soft smile
hhhhh, it was times like these you remember why he was your best friend
hyunjin was just so thoughtful, so caring
you return the smile he gave you as you pulled him in for a tight hug
“I’m sorry hyunjin”
“it’s okay, im sorry too, now tell me what’s wrong?”
“it’s just changbin-“
“I swear to god, if he even laid a finger on you he’s a dead man”
“no!” you say quickly putting an end to his assumption
“so what happened?” he asks, eyebrows going up in sheer curiosity
and then you told him
you told him about the deal with Ms. seo
about how your relationship with changbin changed along the way
how you ended the deal
and now we’re back to changbin and ignoring you
“damn, well have you tried actually going to him?”
“i wouldnt even know where -”
and then it hits you
the abandoned music building
“hyunjin, youre a genius!!!,” you say excitedly
“thanks, we been knew”
“ i have to go ill explain later, bye!!” you say, dashing out of there as fast as you could and made your way to the abandoned building
taking the bus there gave you time to reflect on everything that has happened this past couple month
how much your life has changed since changbin entered it
he pushed you to take risks, to live out of your comfort zone, to not care about other people’s opinions
he made you feel free
and most importantly, he made you happy
the good girl has fallen for the bad boy, i told yall this was gonna be cliche right?
continuing on
just as you  expected, the door was open
the dark didnt even bother you anymore, the only thing in your mind was changbin
oh,, where could he be??
could you ever find your way into this maze of a building and retrace the steps that he took when he was by your side?
as you got deeper and deeper into the building, you feel yourself start to get lost
‘fuck i already saw this door’
‘omg y/n did you really just walk in a circle’
and then you hear it
music, singing
your nightingale
you walk faster, desperate to get to the voice
and here you are now, face to face with the one and only, seo changbin
he stops singing as soon as he saw you walk in
“hey,” you whisper out yet he continued to just stand there, not uttering a single word
“your voice is really pretty, i didnt know you could sing!-”
“what do you want?” his voice, dark and firm just like the day you first met him
This caught you off guard
Did you do something wrong?
“Did i do something wrong?” you say, not aware that you have said your thoughts out loud
changbin chuckles but it was so uninviting, like he was taunting you
“ please, drop the act”
?????
“what?” you reply, completely confused
“ you dont like me ”
“ changbin, what?”
“ you're just like everyone else”
“ changbin i really dont understand pl-”
“ i shouldn't have trusted you.”
“ what?!??, no changbin, you can trust me! just tell me whats wrong!”
all the while, you guys were still talking with a glass between the two of you
ironic, since you felt like a wall has been planted around changbin and you cant reach him  
“ you think i should change”
“ no”
“ what do you mean no? I heard you y/n! I heard what you told my mom, i heard about the stupid deal, the stupid money!”
(⊙…⊙,)
“ changbin, let me explain”
“ i know im known as the bad boy y/n, but you… youre even worse than me”
“ changbin.”
“ youre a monster”
and with hearing those words, the tears that you have been so desperately trying to keep just bursted out like a waterfall
changbin too, has let out his tears
and all we got now are two broken people who can clearly see each other yet are still on opposite sides of the glass
“ you're just like everyone out there that you have resented, you judged me by other people’s words, i thought- i thought that i can finally found someone i could open up to but you never even gave me chance from the beginning”
you let him talk without interrupting him
you deserved the ache you were feeling in your heart
everything he said was true
and with that he breaks down, straight to the floor, back against the wall, hugging his knees
and all you could do was watch, until you couldn't take it anymore
you finally entered the recording booth , taking a seat on the floor right next to him, mimicking his broken figure
“im sorry”
silence
you looked up at the ceiling as you sighed
he deserves an explanation
“ yes, i took the deal, but that's because i thought i needed it changbin. I may be smart, but financially my family isn't doing well. my mom already works extra shifts but it still won't be enough. my dad isnt even in the picture, i dont know where the hell he is”
and with this, changbins head slowly perks up, looking at you with his glass-like eyes, as you continued to stare at the ceiling
you were finally opening up to him
just like how he has been doing
“ i took the deal because, you’re right, i judged you, i was stupid and i never expected us to actually be friends, clearly i was wrong. you have taught me so much. you have pushed me into doing things i never thought i could do. you made me see the world in a different way.”
he’s still just listening to you when you finally took your eyes away from the ceiling and faced him
“ i understand if you dont want to see me anymore but i cant leave you knowing that i never got to say this,” you continue, afraid of the results that were about to come
“ what else are you hiding from me?” he says, but this time, he says it softly, the furious changbin that you have encountered just minutes ago was completely gone
“ i think im in love with you,” you say, quickly looking down, embarrassed at your confession
“ y/n look at me,”
“ i dont want to”
“ why?”
“ i know you're gonna break my heart”
“ you broke mine first,” and with that he lifted your chin up, making you look him straight into his eyes before kissing you
this kiss was different from your first one
it was slow but passionate, filled with all of the unsaid words between the two of you
your guys lips both slightly chapped from all the crying
yet his lips still felt like the softest pair against yours
pulling away, changbin leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closed
yours were open though, taking the sight all in before you pulled away, wiping away his left over tears
“ god, were a mess,” he finally says out loud, before he pulled you in a tight hug 
“ im sorry,” you say again
“ i’ll forgive you if you promise to continue tutoring me?”
“ what ?”
“ continue the deal, get the money”
“ changbin, i really don't want to do that”
“ i know you dont. but we have to finesse my mom somehow,” he says, bursting into a smile, clearly joking
..
“eYE,,, i cannot believe you right now! You can't be serious!”
“ but i am. go back into her office tell her you’ll continue it and get the money for your education.”
“changbin! stop joking! I already feel bad about it!”
“Okay fine i just like it when you tutor me okay, its kinda sexy” he says
playfully slapping him, you guys laugh, the tension in the air finally gone
“ you know if you didnt buy me those eggs, we wouldnt be here by now,” you say, a small smile on your face
“ hmm, and why?”
“ because those eggs were the first time i realized that the most notorious bad boy, the one and only Seo Changbin, can also be soft,”
“ do not use my name and soft in the same sentence ever again,”
“ what are you gonna do about it?” you reply, taunting him
and so
he pulled you into another kiss
and another
and another
until a series of laughter coming from the both of you interrupted it
“im glad i bought you those eggs”
hhhhhhh this ending is so rushed and so bad i just didnt wanna leave it unfinished 
ALSO IM SEEING STRAY KIDS BITCHES!!!!!,,,,,, MY SEAT HELLA FAR BUTS ITS OKAY BECAUSE ILL STILL BE THERE ╭(′▽`)╭(′▽`)╯
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nie7027 · 6 years ago
Text
Super5 headcanons part 3
Part 1   Part 2   Part3   Part 4   Part 5
Thank you everybody for saying such nice things of part 2 (as i said i wasnt that confident so it made me really happy to know you liked it) and sorry for taking so long but school is a bitch and almost killed my inspiration. Anyway here comes part 3
Minegishi: i just got out work. Can someone care to tell me what happened?
Hatori: uhh, yeah . sorry
Hatori: i got out of work like an hour ago and came home to find Shimazaki sleeping on MY bed
Hatori: Shibata was already at the gym and shimazaki hasnt waken up so i dont know much more??
Hatori: i dont know either what to do...
Shibata: is he still there? I told him to take my bed!
Hatori: well he clearly didnt...
Minegishi: ok but HOW did you find him exactly?
Shibata: ill tell you later guys. My next class is about to start
Shibata: And dont worry Hatori! i dont think hell wake up anytime soon.
Shibata: You should have seen him carrying the dog! It was cute <3
Shibata: in a strange way
Minegishi: dog?? WHAT DOG?
Hatori: did you just say "carrying"?
Shibata: sorry guys gtg
Hatori: shit WAIT
Hatori: where am i supposed to sleep now? I cant sleep on the couch!
Shibata: you can sleep with me
Hatori: WHAT? NO
Shibata: Do you prefer to wake him up?
Hatori: I pick the right side
Minegishi: No homo
Hatori: fUCk U
Shimazaki wakes the next morning to the sound of someone gagging to his right
"THE HELL IS THAT SMELL? WHY DO YOU STINK SO MUCH?" yells Hatori before letting out a muffled yelp when the pillow Shimazaki threw hits him square on the face
Shibata, probably alerted by Hatoris screams, comes running and asks from the doorframe "Whats going here?"
"THAT BASTARD SMELLS LIKE POOP AND NOW MY BED WILL SMELL TOO" says Hatori while pointing at the man on his bed who is just groaning clearly annoyed at being awaken
"Hmm it was probably the dog" says Shibata pensive and then looks carefully at shimazaki "You dont have more clothes dont you?"
"Holy shit! Thats true. Youve been using the same clothes since then..."
Shimazaki cant understand why it suddenly matters so much to them "No i dont. Now that that has been cleared up can i go back to sleep?"
"You have to change first. Hatoris clothes wont fit you. so take a shower while i search for something to lend you" says shibata and then turns to Hatori "you gotta go now or you are gonna be late. Dont worry todays my day off, Ill wash your bed"
"Thanks man" says Hatori and then quickly discusses something abouy dinner with shibata before leaving the apartment. Shimazaki can only stare. He just wants to sleep.
But before he can turn his back and return to sleep Shibata is already on him hurrying him to the shower.
Shimazaki doesnt like the idea of giving up his clothes to Shibata (he doesnt like letting go of his possesions because Mental eye cant find inanimate objects and he learned early on life how easy it was to lose things) but even he is starting to get nauseous at the smell of trash and he isnt in the mood to deal with it himself
Shibatas clothes fit loosely but they are comfy, besides once he gets out the shower the man has breakfast ready for him (theres still a box of his favourite cereal) and leaves him to his own devices while he does laundry.
By the end of the day Shimazaki has his own clothes back and they are softer than he remembers ("its the softener" says Shibata, "the what?" responds shimazaki)
Minegishi and Hatori arrive later with boxes of take out and they eat together in awkward silence until Minegishi casually asks with a smirk if Hatori and Shibata slept well at which shibata laughs and tells them Hatori is a blanket hogger which in turn makes Hatori complain about shibatas snores.
The childish fight continues and even though Shimazaki doesnt take part in it he listens atently
At the end he returns to minegishis apartment that night and sleeps on the couch. Neither of them uttering a word of what happened.
The next time Minegishi asks him to go grocery shopping he accepts.
This is stupid. This was a waste of his time.
Shimazaki couldnt read price tags or labels and he didnt know what he was doing here or why Minegishi had brought him
At most he could tell apart boxes from cans and the weight of things but he couldnt differentiate whether he was holding a can of tuna from a can of yakitori sauce or 1k of salt from 1k of sugar without having to ask somebody else.
It was even worse when it came to liquids if the milk/juice failure was anything to go by
After the first few failures of trying to pick stuff Minegishi had tried to teach him about couponing and discounts but then again he had to ask him the price everytime and they both soon got tired of it
All he could do was to touch and feel the fruit and vegetables trying to tell apart the riped from the rotten/damaged
Looking for any bump, hole, softness...things Minegishi taught him
It was stupid.
Minegishi could ripen/fix any plant with his powers and they both knew it
This was a waste of time.
He hated every second of this and wanted to go already but Minegishi had been hellbent on him learning at least this and left him in the fruits section to pick whatever he deemed best while he finished the shopping.
And that was what he was TRYING to do when a store clerk had the brilliant idea of addressing him
In his defense they had been almost 3 hours here and he had been done since the first. The fact he didnt even know what the hell he was holding anymore except that it was round and ripe not helping his annoyance.
He turned to tell her to fuck off. He just wanted to intimadate her. Force her to leave him alone.
He may have gone a little bit overboard.
He opened his eyes.
"Excuse me sir. Customers arent supposed to grab the tomatoes with their bare hands. The bags are-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Her scream could be heard all around the store
Before he could teletransport away the tomato he was holding twisted and tangled its newly grown vines around his hand in a tight grip. (The sight of it clearly didnt help the girl's panic)
"Dont even think about it" hissed a pissed Minegishi when he passed by his side on his way towards the screaming girl.
Minegishi couldnt feel more stupid than he was feeling a the moment.
In his haste to initiate Shimazaki on the path of becoming a civil person he had somehow forgotten the man was actually blind (not his fault it was so easy to forget when you have seen him destroying entire buildings).
He had tried. He had really tried to come up with any way to fix this mess of a trip but it was getting late and they hadnt even started their actual shopping.
So at the end he gave up and left Shimazaki to the only task he thought could keep him busy and at the same time allowed minegishi to keep track of the mans position anytime while he hurriedly finished the shopping. It was a good plan. What could go wrong?
The moment he heard the scream he knew everything could and will go wrong where it concerned Shimazaki.
Thankfully he could feel he was still holding something vegetal (a tomato?) so Minegishi quickly dashed (shopping cart forgotten) to the mans position and the screaming girl.
His first instict had been to go and calm the girl even though he didnt know what had happened but when he realized people were starting to stare he quickly grabbed Shimazakis arm and dragged him the way he came.
"The fuck did you do?" Minegishi asked once they were in another aisle safe from curious stares
"I did nothing!" responded Shimazaki somewhat offended
" As if! What did you do to her? "
"I didnt do shit to her! I was just doing the fruit thing you asked me!" he raised his hand to show the tomato still holding onto it
"And? Why was she even near you?" mineshiki asked while his powers disentagled the vines and took the tomato
"ITS YOUR FAULT APPARENTLY WE ARENT SUPPOSED TO PICK THE FRUIT"
"Huh? What? I always do-THATS NOT IMPORTANT! Why was she screaming?!"
"I told her off"
"What? People dont scream like that when someone tells them off, even when you..." Shimazaki was clearly hiding something "How did you do it exactly?" minigishi asks with narrowed eyes
"....i may have opened my eyes"
"Your eyes?" minegishi stares increduously "whats that- oh" hes about to ask what was that supposed to mean when he remembers Shimazakis bottomless eyes caused by his physic powers. He may have gotten used to his hollow stare but he still remembers what he felt the first time he saw it. The girls scream finally making sense "You never open your eyes unless you want to threaten someome...did you want to threaten a simple clerk?? "
"No"
"Then?
"i just forgot!" shimazaki huffed
"You...forgot?"
"YES CAN WE GO NOW?" irritation lacing the mans tone
It was that moment that Minegishi realized this trip was taking a bigger toll on shimazaki than he (and probably even the man himself) anticipated and sighed.
"Yeah, i was almost finished anyway lets find the cart"
Shimazaki silently followed.
They finished the shopping without any further accident and while they waited in line to pay something caught minegishis eyes. It was just what he needed.
There was a row of cheap aviator glasses hanging in display.
After some considerantion he grabbed one of the pair with the mirror lens kind and handed them to a now calmer Shimazaki "Here, put this"
Shimazaki who had been following Minegishis movements asked curiously "whats this?"
"Glasses. In case you forget to keep your eyes closed again people wont be able to see your eyes. Put them on and open your eyes. i need to see if they fit and if they'll work"
He miraculously did.
The frame was thicker than it was supposed to be for these kind of glasses (a crude imitation of the stylish kind people wear in magazines) but they fitted and the mirror lens hid perfectly shimazakis glowing irises(?) (Hell never know)
"How do they feel?"
"Strange"
"You could wear them only when you are out in public. They are cheap. Ill buy them and you can do whatever you want with them"
Shimazaki took them off and when it was time to pay he handed them to minegishi
Once outside shimazaki at first refused to teletransport the bags back to the apartment but complied once Minegishi told him he would force him to help carry the bags all the way if he didnt do it AND promised to buy take out to eat.
Minegishi thought the glasses had been left forgotten in the bags but the next morning while he was getting ready to work he noticed they were laying folded on top of a sleeping shimazaki
When Hatori and Shibata inevitably asked about Shimazakis new glasses(that he now used all the time) minegishi told them about what was now deemed as the "supermarket incident"
The next times they went shopping Minegishi stayed all the time with Shimazaki and kept teaching him about vegetables and any thing that came to his mind.
Once they finished (everytime quicker than the previos) it became Shimazakis job to drop the goods at the apartment in exchange of picking what they were going to eat that day
It wasnt exactly what Minegishi had planned but it was a progress (or that was what he thought until Hatori complained about tripping on shopping bags that suddenly appeared in the middle of the hall whenever Shimazaki dropped something there)
Shibata was annoyed because even though they all agreed Shimazaki was behaving nicer the others didnt still believe him about the whole puppy ordeal
so that, coupled with the nagging feeling he had left after washing shimazakis clothes and after hearing about the market incident made him come up with a plan
"A mall trip?? What for?" hatori asked perplexed
"He has just one shirt"
"So?"
"He has been wearing it since we were together, actually i dont remember him wearing anything else ever"
"Thats his problem!"
"HIS JACKET HAS BULLET HOLES " replied shibata getting impatient with how much it was taking Hatori to understand
"He probably likes it that way??" said Hatori still not getting it
"Actually ive been thinking the same. I noticed the bullet holes too" finally came Minegishis voice from the receiver. He was was working at the moment because if they wanted to do this he had to work a double shift to free one day. "I dont think he has anything else"
"See? Minegishis with me!" exclaimed thriumohantly Shibata which only made Hatori roll his eyes
"Fine! i get it! Ive seen the bullet holes too...but i dont get why does it have to be us?"
"Because we are his friends" easily replied Shibata causing Hatori to frown at this
"Are we really? When has he done something for us?" hatoris tone suddenly turning serious "You are literally asking me to spend one of my few days off shopping clothes with MY MONEY for a guy who wanted to kill me mere months ago?"
"We dont know that" said shibata
Hatori trew him a glance that clearly was supposed to mean 'you gotta be kidding' "Look, do we even know if he likes us back?"
At this both men kept silence until shibata dared to speak "he is wearing the glasses"
"God forbid me for forgetting those damn glasses! Guys, im just saying we are already doing so much for him for nothing! why do we need to do more?"
"Because thats what good people do" came Minegishis response and shibata nodded firmly making hatori huff. He was gonna regret this.
" fine! But do we even know if hes gonna like what we buy? If hes gonna even wear it? As you said we had never seen with other clothes"
"Thats why we are gonna take him with us!" said Shibata, glad that this was finnally getting somewhere
Hatori turned to look at the phone "didnt you said you believed shopping stressed him?"
"Mmm these last times had been better" said minegishi
"What if he actually doesnt care about the clothes or-"
"He does" replied Shibata and Minegishi in unison making Hatori stare confusedly
"How do you know?"
Shibata thought back to the hesitance he noticed on shimazaki when he handed him his clothes but didnt think the man in question would like it if he went and tell this to the others and was debating this when minegishi spoke again "Ive noticed someone has been using my softener and i doubt its the plants"
Hatori frowned and then sighed
"You both have settled your minds dont you?" hatori asked and then grumbled when an unison "yes" was heard
"Do you realize we are working with a lot of 'maybes' and 'probably'?"
"Maybe" said the voice from the receiver and Hatori could swear he could hear minegishis smirk
"C'mon man! We have done worse than this" said Shibata happily clapping Hatoris back
"Ugh FINE That bastard better be grateful" grumbled Hatori
This part forced me to think of shimazakis past and now i made myself sad (this isnt the first time he wears glasses)
So the market incident and the glasses scene was stuff i thought about since i started these and was really excited to write it. I hope i did them justice .
I didnt realize how much longer part II was compared to part I so i think part III ended in a nice middle ground.
Haha i again didnt reach the scene i planned to reach(the prank) and at this pace this thing will have 6 parts. Someone save me
Anyway hope you like it and for those of you who dont know I am writing a Teru-centric fanfic about his decision to visit his parents and the aftermath and ill appreciate it if you could check it out (link here) and tell me what you think or at least share it so more people can see it because tumblr sucks and wont let me do it.
See you next time
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fairycosmos · 6 years ago
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My fuckinggg crush (who looked like he was into me also but without being greasy and disgusting which is rare for men) is giving this other girl attention and has been online forever and is ignoring my texts and I'm so upset and this is so stupid and something a 12 year old would say but I have no friends and wanted to tell someone and I chose u bc ily and your blog and u take your time to give ppl good and well thought replies and ur amazing.
hey man it’s not stupid!! at all!!! it’s natural to crave affection from the person you want and it’s natural to feel jealous to some extent. what matters more is how you cope with those emotions, you know? don’t let them drown you, don’t let them force you into doing/saying something you’ll regret. crucifying yourself for this wont solve anything. take a breath, let it all wash over you. you’re alright. i know it’s super difficult, and it’s a lot easier said than done, but try not to let his actions impact how you see yourself. it’s not your fault he’s not replying to you, and it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy. if he doesn’t like you for who you are then he doesn’t deserve your time, you know? if he can’t appreciate you for who you are then he’s simply not ready for someone like you, and that’s entirely his loss. the worst thing you can do is let your low self esteem use this situation to turn your mindset into one of paranoia and self hatred. like, your existence doesn’t depend on him and what he thinks of you. in addition to that, just cause he’s talking to another girl doesn’t mean he doesn’t think you’re a cool, interesting person (assuming you guys aren’t like, exclusive of course.) it’s possible for him to see both of you in a super positive light. look, obviously cause you have feelings for him, you’re going to care about his opinion a lot, but always keep in mind that the world doesn’t begin and end with him. even if your infatuation is making it seem like it does. this sort of thing is always upsetting and painful, cause you can know all of this logically and still feel sad about it, but that’s okay. process whatever you need to process. every emotion is temporary, though your mind will do its best to convince you that it’s permanent. truly all you can do is message him, ask him what his deal is and then leave it. after that, the ball is in his court. and you don’t deserve to have to grovel for attention or love or validation, you can find all of that within yourself and through other sources. i 1000% get that all of this sounds like bullshit, especially cause you care about him so much, but i hope you can allow some of it to sink in. at the end of the day you can’t control him or how he feels, but you can control how you allow yourself to be treated, and how you deal with the pain/anger/sadness of the situation. 
i really hope you’re able to have a productive conversation with him to see if you can figure out where you stand. catching feelings for someone is always going to be annoying and complicated and weird, but as long as you have your own back you’re going to be just fine. i’m like hyper aware of the fact that none of this is helpful to you in the current moment but maybe you can come back to this in like a month or smth to look at your progress. you’re literally an ABSOLUTE sweetheart by the way like thank you so much!! i’m so fkn glad you enjoy my blog and i luv you to the moon and back. i’m lending you all of the strength you need to get through this. whatever the outcome is, you have the tools to handle it, so you will. you’re a lot more capable than you’ll ever fully realize, okay? you’ve got this. talk to him when you can, be kind to yourself and let the rest figure itself out. 💖💖
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musubiki · 7 years ago
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Got any hcs for white? Her starter, her journey, etc? And like. Fws hcs?? 👀👀👀
K HERE WE GO MY SECOND FAVORITE GIRL EVER(this is gonna be long bc. i like them too)
white chose tepig as her starter. this is actually a GREAT match because Gus is really rash and hasty and stubborn fist fighter just like her
white has never lost a battle. that was her goal it was never really to become champion or anything (she didnt care for all the responsibility that came with it) her goal was to be undefeated. which did not bode well for cheren, who wanted to be champion, and lost every battle against her
“well this is discouraging”
she really loves bianca!!! and cheren!!!!! she has the least patience and sense out of the three. cheren has to keep her grounded so she doesnt do weird shit
white is physically the strongest out of the protags. its mysterious. she als o has the best hair 
when she first meets N he is. a creep. im sorry. even i see it like that when you first meet him hes weird. when she first hears the team plasma speech in the first town, shes like boiling already. why would anyone listen to the knights of the round table?! this is weird. she kicks N’s ass first battle.
her problem from here on out and throughout the journey is that. she was the opposite of N. she thought that everyone treated their pokemon nicely and no one could ever hurt a pokemon. she learned she was wrong fairly quickly, and tried to fix and embrace reality instead of N, who tried to change the world all at once.
this is why shes the hero of truth and hes the hero of ideals. 
i dont have a lot of solid hc interactions between them (mostly bc i havent played in a while jfklas i abandoned my boy) but throughout their journey they. actually talk. and argue. and they both equally learn things from each other. and despite him being kinda weird (she thinks) shes actually kinda concerned for him
he makes her think about things she wouldnt otherwise. not just the fate of pokemon but about the future and the whole world. because of him she actually has this moment, where she has all of her current team out. and she realises that she is, like what he says and just makes her pokemon fight. of course and loves and cares for them, and she just. asks them real solemly like. “Do you guys even want to fight? Like do you even like being here?” 
and she already decided that if any of them didn’t want to be there, she would let them go.
luckily, her whole team is full of pokemon just like her and they enjoy the fights, and the adventure, and spending time with her, and shes thrilled. after this she asks pokemon she catches that she wants to keep if they wanna stay with her
i love N a lot ok. whenever N talks to white she always says something that surprises him and makes him look at the world differently. eventually he finds himself actually seeking her out and deliberatly looking for chances to run into her. he gains a lot of respect for her. whenever he talks to her he takes his hat off and nervoulsy kinda. holds it in his hands and shes kinda “?”
when she first finds out hes king. of team plasma. shes pissed. shes ready to TIP TH DAMN CART THING IN THE FERRISHWEEL AND HAVE A FIGHT RIGHT THERE. HES TELLING HER TO CALM DOWN AND SHES LIKE HOW DID YOU EXPECT ME TO REACT??????????????
shes angry bc hes the king of this. horrible orginization. and as far as shes seen all they do is steal and abuse pokemon. the next few times she talks to him he tells her that theyre nothing like that, and that they only look after pokemon
this is actually true. some of the grunts fully believe in the true cause. but most of them follow ghetsis. and N has no idea that his grunts are actually abusing and stealing (i keep thinking about the dreamyard because that scene was what the fuck????a re you doing????)
she begins to realize this. that he has no idea. and that he actually believes in this cause. and as she gets to know him she realises he is. the purest person. and he has no idea. and she feels kinda bad bc she was kinda mean to him before, but hes still plasma so shes confused about how she should treat him because he always treats her and her pokemon pretty nicely. 
N is actually a very nice and gentle soul. he’ll put up a fight for sure, but especially towards white hes the sgtwytwytws weetest thing im sorry i have a soft spot for him. lowkey he wants her approval.
if youve ever seen miraculous ladybug, i imagine N to be kind of like adrien(without the chat side to him) like hes just. nice. and gentle and. cute.
i hc that they have way more interactions than the game gives you
the best thing theyve ever had together was this celebration in Iccirus city (similar to like…the 4th of july kinda thing..) and whites pretty alone. cherena and bianca are off doing Arceus knows what and shes like. alone. and she finds N outside the city with some pokemon. 
so she goes and talks to him. questions why hes out here all alone in like, the cold. shouldnt you be with your family or something? its a holiday. and she caught him off gaurd and he immedatly like stands up and hes kinda happy to see her. he doesnt question why but hes. happy. when shes around. 
he tells her his father never really cared for these kinds of celebrations anyway, and that he usually spends these kinds of days alone. he doesnt think this is a big deal but whites kinda,.. lonely too. so she proposes “Listen, no one should be alone today. And I don’t really have anyone to hang out with either, so what do you say we just, forget about the sworn enemies thing for the night and go have some fun or something” 
and hes. surprised. here she goes again. always saying something new and pleasent and hes. like beaming hes so cutnhejfje so he agrees. 
and this turns into. a pretty great night for them both actually. like they actually get along great when theyre not arguing about the future of unova. they play a lot of booth games and. 
hdj white loses at one of those ball tossing games(she usually loses and then harasses the booth guy with “Booo its rigged” but she just likes to have fun) and N. is determined. he fuckin. calculates wind direction and all this weird shit and gets. a record high score and shes like how the fuck did you do that. he smiles and answers its all in the wrist. 
he gets her some stuffed animal thing. shes like this is the best day ever shes thrilled. they go and get food and like by the end of the night theyre actually. like friends. and she didnt think this would happen but she actually likes hanging out with him. at some point she wins a seashell necklace that she wears for the timeskip outfit
so theyre sitting there at the edge of the festival whatever eating caramel popcorn and ice cream and hot dogs laughing and telling stories about weird people theyve met and crazy things theyve done.
and they talk about his family. and why hes with plasma in the first place. and where her parents are. and why they believe in the things that they say and do. it turns out theyre both orphans. the only difference between them is that hes alone
at some point (i forget how this comes up) he asks white if theyre friends. she pauses for a while because she doesnt know how to answer it. yes, she thinks, when she’s with him like this. when she forgets that hes leading a region-wide organization aiming to seperate people and pokemon. but she settles with a yes, and jokingly adds that if they were destined to be mortal enemies they could hang out more, and he smiles
she spots a pair of plasma grunts, looks like theyre doing some shady things, but her head flashes back to the conversations shes had with N. he doesnt know what his grunts do. so she tells him to stay there and she’ll be back. hes kind of confused and worried, so he follows her from a distance.
she follows the grunts into a cave/grotto/area. yep, here they are abusing some poor purrloins or something, trying to get something that ghetsis claims he needs. she has her stountland right beside her and angrily questions what they think theyre doing. 
when they snarkily and confidently answer that they do whatever they want, she asks why theyre even a part of team plasma at all if theyre gonna treat pokemon like this. she tells them to go join team rocket if theyre looking for business like that. N is outside listening to all of this
they say something like “You think this about money?” and she asks what else and they answer “This is about power. We don’t give a damn about freeing pokemon for justice! When all the pokemon are gone plasma will reign supreme!!” 
she clutches her pokeball. shes pissed. not just because, these fuckers got issues, but because they are deliberatly. disobeying N, and everything he stands for. so she tells them to get out of there before they end up regretting it. they laugh and tell her they dont even listen to their own King, why would they listen to her.
(white is a huge badass by the way. shes the more hardcore and probably coolest protag)
then N steps in and they. fall silent. and they are terrified. the stutter and stammer about how it was all a misunderstanding, and it wasnt their fault, and they didnt mean it, and every excuse they could come up with but N. is kind of like leaf in this sense because he is. angry. but his anger comes off cold and heartless and man he is cool.
so they, because they know theyre screwed already, decide that they wont take this shit anymore and challenge them to a fight. figure if they manage to beat N, maybe they could rule plasma instead. (this is my excuse to get N and White to double battle) and they rock. theyre the perfect tag team. truely the two sides of the same coin
when theyre defeated. N forces them to release their pokemon and they run away, never to show their faces to plasma again. They stand there in silence for a while, and N asks “Why did you tell me not to stay there?”
shes quiet for a while before answering “Because…you believe in what you do” and “I didn’t want you to see the worst of what was going on.” 
he thanks her for her concern, and tells her not to think like that, because now he finally sees what shes been trying to tell him about plasma, and maybe he can do something about it now that he knows. ignorance is never bliss, he adds, and she knows hes right. she just didnt want him to be hurt, she thinks
she asks what hes going to do, and he answers he’d try to weed out whatever corruption was in plasma. he hopes what the grunts say wasnt true, and that this was just a small mutiny, not rooting from the very top.
FYI SHES NOT SUPPORTING PLASMA at this point she still hates plasmas ass for doing what they do, but shes seen now the way some trainers treat their pokemon (in and out of plasma) and she thinks that if this cause was done right, it would help the world a lot
unfortunaly N is a fool lol and wants to liberate ALLLL THE DAMN POKEMON. 
ofc after this. ghetsis goes and. poisons his mind again with how shes a fool and shes trying to manipulate you and why would you doubt your own father. and right after this N. becomes the hero of ideals and they become worse enemies than theyve ever been. she becomes the hero of truth and he smiles because suddenly. everything makes sense. why hes always so happy to be around her. why it feels like she completes him despite all their differences and he. loves her he just doesnt know it 
and she knows for a fact that ghetsis is behind all of this but because N is the king, she has to go through him first. 
and she really cares for N. she actually ends up realising after he leaves that yeah, she pretty much loved him. and she hates his ass for leaving. so she goes to chase him down because cheesy as it is, these two are literally soulmates. they both acknowledge that meeting and growing with the other has made them better and stronger people and white refuses to let that go.
(i love their story and dynamic)
i dont have a set reuniting scene for them yet, the only one i have is.,.,. a part of that other story im lowkey working on..,.,. but she slaps him thats for sure LOL. hes like a puppy hes so happy to see her again hes like “White!!” and shes. PISSED. she has tears in her eyes and CATCH THESE HANDS. leaf and green are probably there and theyre like WHOA WHAT
green actually relates to white bc of this bc yeah, i waited for like 3 years for the love of my life too
163 notes · View notes
annathetrickster · 7 years ago
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part 4 of my thoughts on FE4, covering chapter 3. 
spoilers under the cut obviously.
so first a bit of backstory that will help explain whats going on up to this point; 
in chapter 2 we helped lachesis defend nordion, and rescued eldigan who was being held captive after his unsuccessful attempt at negotiating peace. unfortunately, in the process we also conquered most of augustria (think of it as the state, and nordion one of its many cities/castles). eldigan was obviously unhappy about this and told sigurd he’d have one year to sort out the mess and get them back on their feet and under their own rule.
TLDR: we had no choice but to take over a bunch of land, and now we’re trying to get them back to being self governed.
a lot of this game is politics so i can understand if its hard to follow for most of you.
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so even though eldigan said we’d have one year to sort things out, and he opted to let chagall live (ugly guy who locked him up), chagall decided that he’d rather attack us even though we’re apparently almost done restoring the peace.
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its about time deirdre opened up more. she’s usually so formal with him even though they’ve been married for a while now. i wonder if something happened between them.
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OHHHHHHH SHIT 
they fucked.
no idea why, but i completey forgot about seliph and julia while playing this so this still surprised me quite a bit. still, its very interesting to see deirdre finally go from calling him ‘milord’ to ‘my love’ now that they’ve done the deed. 
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its time.
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its worth noting that changing class doesn’t reset your lvl, so you stay whatever lvl you are and just gain additional stats. pretty interesting way of handling class change.
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right so onto the map. 
as far as difficulty goes, this one seems like the easiest one so far. my main concern is the desert area towards the north of the map since i don’t see any way to access that part of the map, but we’ll cross that currently non-existent bridge when we get there.
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and just like that a wild ship appears.
im a total sucker for the whole “girl who’s normally tired of a guys shit ends up actually liking him” deal. its part of why i ship inigo and severa so much. 
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take notes guys: flowers are old news. want to impress a girl? get her a 12 might weapon capable of attacking up to 4 times in one round of combat.
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and now she feels bad for being so rude to him. lex seems like a genuinely nice guy tbh.
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so it took me a few tries but i think we’re just about ready to seize the castle. this chapter so far has definitely been the easiest yet. you really just had to defend your base for a good few turns but once thats taken care of taking the castle is fairly simple.
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again, chagall is the ugly guy who imprisoned eldigan and he’s only still alive because eldigan thought it’d be totally cool to let him live and we’d be able to work out a peaceful solution, even though he literally already tried that and it got him locked up.
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he goes on to tell sigurd about how his father, lord byron, is a prime suspect in the murder of prince kurth (the prince of grannvale, which is basically the state sigurd’s castle/city, chalphy resides in), and how theres rumors that both he and his father worked together to murder the prince. this is obviously just more of sigurd being setup to fail by the higher ups since his father and prince kurth were very close.
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also tailtu was there and she apparently wants in the holy man’s pants.
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1 down, possibly 2 more to go.
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shanan: deirdre no
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deirdre: deirdre yes
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so deirdre gets abducted by this cloaked figure who’s been manipulating everything behind the scenes. earlier in the game, i believe around chapter 1, he mentions something along the lines of wanting to ‘resurrect the dark lord’, and that in order to do that you need deirdre. the exact details of what he said are hard to remember atm but there’s definitely some heavy NTR implications with what he said earlier in the game, as well as him mentioning ‘cleansing’ the slate of her life for her ‘true husband’. 
im sure more will be revealed as i progress through the story. as for seliph, he’s still with shanan.
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eldigans patience with this guy is incredible. remember he had the chance to kill him last chapter but eldigan opted to let him go, even though he locked him up.
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hes about to ride against his best friend all for the sake of honor, loyalty to his country, and his own pride. he reminds me a lot of camus actually in that both are loyal to an extreme fault. if battling against his best friend is whats best for the future of augustria then he’s willing to lay his life on the line for that cause.
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great idea, because that totally went well the last 10 times.
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top 10 photos taken seconds before disaster
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and there it is.
the source of all the headless horseman eldigan memes you’ve probably seen
eldigan fucking dies.
not only does he die, but the way he’s killed is extremely dark compared to other games in the series. its not enough chagall wants him dead, he wants him decapitated, and humiliated. even though all eldigan did was what he felt was best for the future of his country. pretty heavy stuff.
so how is eldigan as a character? basically camus is his closest comparison. both of them have extreme loyalty towards their country, and while eldigan might not have the added complexity of a love interest, i think the fact that he pays the ultimate price for his unyielding loyalty makes him every bit as good of a character as camus is.
rip in pepperoni eldigan. press F to pay respects.
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another handsome sailor moon villan appears
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also wyvern emblem is a thing
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apparently they’re dracoknights, interesting to learn that this is the first you see of them, and not FE8 with the ability to class branch pegasus knights or wyvern riders into them.
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of course dracoknight emblem is not match for finn emblem.
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also, im not sure how advised this is, but out of all the characters ive gotten so far this is my main force. 
sigurd
finn
quan
ethlyn
lex
ayra
sylvia
lachesis
i tend to favor smaller armies in the main series games and prefer to have a handful of OP units vs a bunch of mediocre ones so we’ll see if i can continue that strategy going forward.
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meanwhile all the other characters just kind of hang around the castle. mostly because im way too lazy to drag them along on these ungodly maps.
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its time
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E҉̳͎̟̖̼̙̞̀n҉̫̩̪͎̮͞t͏̖̯̫̻̫̖̳̱̦e̩̫̟̰̤̙ͅr͎͇̠̼̻̥͔͘͟ ̵͓͟͝t̶̨̢͇̟h̡͉̲̗̱̫̜͔e̜͕ͅ ̼͈̠̖͈̻̩V̥̙̩͔͜ͅÓ̵̠̪͖̗̱͖͍̟Ì̮̬̞̰D̪̯̮̖
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gotta say, so far this is my favorite sprite by far. his class is great knight unlike finn and quan who are duke knights. the sprites in FE1-8 just have a certain charm that the newer games can’t match. even with fully rendered 3d models.
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ok, several things to point out here;
how does he know eldigan died? we were literally halfway across the globe when he was killed, and we’re currently outside the castle, whereas eldigans body is presumably inside. unless of course he literally has his head on display or something extremely gruesome to that effect.
“youve murdered countless innocents, and eldigan” >implying eldigan isnt innocent?
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this guy literally killed your best friend, possibly has his head on display, and the worst you can come up with is something you’d find on a negative yelp review?
i’d really like to see both him and marth just drop an F bomb once in a while.
#let sigurd say fuck
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and finally this annoying fuck is dead.
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oh boy, not only does he have to face his best friends lifeless body but now he’s about to learn his wife was abducted. i would really hate to be sigurd right about now.
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not that shanan is in any easier of a position. imagine telling someone like sigurd you failed to do the one thing he told you to do. as kind and compassionate of a leader he is, he would still be an extremely imposing figure for shanan.
you had one job.
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given the heavy NTR implcations, probably getting banged out by some other guy right about now to “resurrect the dark lord”.
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after some pretty heavy storyline developments, the second castle is taken, one more to go.
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so after all thats happened with eldigan, deirdre, and sigurd we’re kind of forced to care about this nameless character who is now the commander of a group of pirates after their boss died/was killed. she’s been telling them not to pillage and loot but they refuse to acknowledge her authority because she was just some girl their captain found rather than his actual daughter, and they’d rather do whatever they want (as pirates tend to do) than listen to her.
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personally i find it hard to suddenly care about the well being of this character after eldigan literally gave his life for his country, and no one knows what happend to deirdre, but apparently the castle must be taken so here we go.
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you’ve heard of horse emblem, now get ready for.. pirate emblem
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“i know we’re pirates and we’re capable of traveling across water and all, but lets all invade this country through this one fucking bridge where we can only cross one at a time. single file everyone, mind your manners.”
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then we have these guys to deal with who somehow ended up on the other side of the map before the bridge was placed.
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this guy being a holy man is the only way he has the patience to deal with her tbh.
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seriously why wait till now to give him such a powerful weapon, what is with this game and holding out weapons until you’re 80% done with the chapter.
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so to put in perspective what you have to go through if you want to recruit tailtu, as i mentioned she starts at the upper left corner of the map and the hoard of pirates from earlier will chase bridget forcing her to retreat west. keep in mind: the only way to progress through the chaper is to seize the castle where we defeated chagall, meaning sigurd needs to be all the way down there. unless you’ve played this game before you have no real way of knowing whats going to happen next and therefore no way to prepare for the shit ton of pirates who will make their way west in an attempt to kill bridget. 
sure you could check the wiki and preemtptively place your units near the bridge, but even then unless you have cavalry movement you still have to chase after them pretty hard and keep bridget, tailtu, and claude out of danger. so again this would be another case where you’d have to reset the original game and try the whole chapter all over again if you want to recruit any of the 3.
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thankfully we have the wiki and an ungodly amount of patience and i was able to save all 3 of them, even though ill probably never use either.
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auntie ayra took care of all the pirates pretty easily so aside from running away from pirates with tailtu and bridget, this chapter was probably the easiest so far.
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again, im not sure why we went out of our way to take this particular castle, and its not really helping sigurds case as a traitor. unless im missing something, the pirates had nothing to do with us as far as i know.
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so after we take the pirate castle langobalt (pictured) shows up and apparently has orders to arrest sigurd who is being branded a traitor. another random guy (presumably his advisor) admits that it was langobalt himself who murdered prince kurth and is framing sigurd for the crime.
of course we knew sigurd was innocent already, but we didnt know who exactly killed the prince.
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in a rare moment of weakness, sigurd actually loses his cool which is to be expected really. his best friend died, his wife kidnapped, and he’s about to be arrested. how would anyone not lose their cool at this point.
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well that is going to do it for chapter 3. to recap, eldigan fucking dies, sigurd and deirdre have a child (seliph), deirdre gets kidnapped and possibly NTR’s sigurd unwillingy or otherwise, some pirate stuff happened, and sigurd is about to be arrested so he’ll be laying low in silesse for the time being.
overall the story sure took an interesting and very dark turn pretty quickly so im definitely looking forward to seeing what happens, especially with deirdre.
thanks for reading and thanks for your patience with me getting these posted.
10 notes · View notes
salazar-slytherin-8867 · 7 years ago
Note
I challenge you to answer ALL the unusual asks. (If not just answer the ones you want to)
(thanks) 
1) Spotifiy, Soundcloud, or Pandora? 
Spotifiy
2) Is your room messy or clean? 
Messy. very. very. messy. 
3) What color are your eyes? 
blue/green.  
4) Do you like your name? why?
Not really. I got bullied for it in third and fourth grade about it, so Ive kinda disliked it since, but at least its not generic. 
5) What is your realationship status? 
in a relationship. 
6) Describe your personality in 3 words or less. 
Really fucking annoying. 
7) What color hair do you have? 
Blonde, but Im thinking of dying it. 
8) What kind of car do you drive? color? 
I cant drive, but my mom car is a green 2000 Toyota Camry 
10) How would you describe your style? 
All over the place and completely random. 
11) Favorite Social Media Account? 
Probabaly my Facebook, cause thats where I talk to most of my family. 
12) What size is your bed? 
Twin, I think. 
13) Any sibblings? 
I have two half sisters and two half brothers on my fathers side, and a twin brother. 
14) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be, and why? 
Mars cause I want to go to Pigfarts  Probabaly like the Oregon coast. cause I like cold weather and the West Coast
15) favorite Snapchat filter? 
I dont use Snapchat, soooo. 
16) Favortie makeup brand(s) 
I dont wear a lot of make up, but I do like e.l.f. 
17) How many times do you shower in a week? 
On a good week, 5-6, on a bad week, 2-3. 
18) Favorite Tv show? 
Rick and Morty, or NCIS 
19) Shoe size? 
 sometimes I wear a 5, others a six or seven, it varies depending on the style of shoe… 
20) How tall are you? 
5′1″ 
21) Sandals or Sneakers? 
Sneakers
22) Do you go to the gym? 
Nope. 
23) Describe your dream date.
probably just like, picnic by a lake or at a park. 
24) How much money do you have in your wallet right now? 
I dont have a wallet, but I have a jar of pocket money with $83
25) what color socks are you wearing? 
Im not wearing socks but earlier I was wear black socks. 
26) How many pillows do you sleep with? 
I only have one for my head, but I have 12 pillows on my bed. 
27) Do you have a job? what do you do? 
does being annoying and sad count as a job? 
28) How many friends do you have? 
12, but only half are close friends. 
29) What is the worst thing youve ever done? 
In third grade I gave a kid a black eye…
30) whats your favorite candle scent? 
Spring Rain. 
31) 3 favorite boy names?
Max, Alex, Jake. 
32) 3 favorite girl names? 
Raine, Sage, Autum. 
33) Favortie actor? 
Lenardo DeCaprio 
34) Favorite Actress? 
Emma Watson 
35) Who is your celebrity crush
Dont have one. 
36) Favorite Movie? 
Rent 
37) Do you read a lot? what is your favorite book? 
I’ve actually been trying to read more, I love Sparrow Road, If I stay, and Shadow. 
38) Money or brains? 
Brains, teach a man to fish.
39) Do you have a nickname? 
Moxie Clean, Moxanne, Molly Molly Moxen Free, Marshmallow, mo, mox. 
40) How many times have you been to the hospital? 
Once, when I was five, when I cracked my forhead open I Have a Scar I am Harry Potter
41) top ten favorite songs? 
Thats What You Get~Paramore,Thnks Fr Th Mmrs~ Fall Out Boy, Misery Business~Paramore, Whatsername~Green Day, It Ends Tonight~All American Rejects, Be my Escape~Relent K, 21st Century Breakdown~Green Day, Always~Blink-182, Ignorance~Paramore, A Drop in the Ocean~ Ron Pope. 
42) Do you take any medications daily? 
Zyrtec, and Asprins. 
43) What is your skin type? 
No clue, kinda dry I guess? 
44) What is your biggest fear? 
Probably abandonment having no one care about/like me. or being a disapointment. 
45) How many kids do you want? 
probably just one. three max. 
46) What is your go to hairstyle? 
I just leave my hair down. 
47) what type of house do you live in? 
I live in an apartment, that is super tiny, and hasnt been updated since the ealy 90′s… 
48) Who is your role model? 
the woman my mother works for. and my Grandmother. 
49) what is the last complement you recived? 
one of my friends told me he liked my rant about depression. 
50) What is the last text you sent? 
‘bro, did you die?!?’ 
51) How old were you when you ofund out Santa wasnt real? 
I was 5, I still put out cookies, but now they’re for my Grandmother and Grandfather. 
52) What is your dream car? 
I dont know yet, maybe just a Pale Green VW bug, or something that costs less. 
53) Opinion on smoking? 
I dont like smokers Ive been bullied my entire life cause all my clothes smell like cigerette smoke, but I dont really get to voice my thoughts cause most of my family smokes. But I have no plans to when Im old enough. 
54) Do you go to college? 
No. And I wont be anytime in the next five years or so.
55) What is your dream job? 
Chemist/Nurse/Author, or something that does good and pays well. 
56) Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? 
Rural Areas. Its nice to see all the stars so clearly. 
57) Do you take the shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? 
should I not? 
58) Do you have freckles? 
No, but my mother says that I did when I was younger. 
59) Do you smile for photos? 
Sometimes. 
60) How many pictures do you have on your phone? 
I dont have a phone so….
61) Have you ever peed in the wood? 
nope. 
62) Do you still watch cartoons? 
yeah. 
63) do you perfer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? 
 I cant afford to eat out. (just for the record, Micky D’s) 
64)Favorite dipping suace? 
ranch. 
65) What do you wear to bed? 
it depends, it I dont feel like changing I’ll sleep in what Im wearing, otherwise, just sweats and a tee shirt. 
66) have you ever won a spelling bee? 
Ive never even entered cause in third grade, my teacher told me not to bother trying cause my spelling was too bad, so I havent entered since. 
67) What are your Hobbies? 
Is eating a hobby? I like to read, draw, write, and sit around being sad. and kazoooo
68) Can you draw? 
Not well. 
69) do you play an insturment? 
Clarinet, Guitar, and piano. 
70) what is the last concert you saw? 
a band concert, that I was in. 
71) tea or coffee? 
Both. 
72) Starbucks or Dunkin? 
that depends on the day, what planets where seen last night, what color socks Im wearing, when the next full moon is, and weather or not I have money. 
73) Do you want to get married? 
Maybe. 
74) what is your crushes first and last initial? 
M.D. 
75) Are you going to change your last name when you get married? 
maybe. 
76) what color looks best on you? 
teal maybe? I honestly have no clue. 
77) do you miss anyone right now? 
My friends from school, and old nieghboirs. 
78) Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? 
normally, I would sleep with my door closed, by my brother broke the hinge, so now it can only be open 
79) Do you believe in ghosts? 
yeah. 
80) what is your biggest pet peeve? 
 people who only care about others and never help themselves, people who act entitled when they arent, and people use terms they dont know the deffinition of. 
81) Last person you called? 
@geez-man, in like, June
82) favorite Ice Cream flavor? 
mint or coffee. 
83) Regular oreos, or golden oreos? 
regular. 
84) Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 
both. yes. all of the above. 
85) What shirt are you wearing? 
its a leopard with the David Bowie lighting blot on its face. 
86) what is your phone background? 
*doesnt have phone* 
87) Are you outgoing or shy? 
A bit of both, it depends who Im with, 
88) do you like it when people play with your hair? 
sometimes, depends who it is. I have trust issuses with people who touch my hair, cause in fifth grade a girl told to whole school I had lice, even though I didnt. 
89) do you like your neighboirs? 
I dont know my nieghboirs that well, cause most poeple are only here a couple months and then they leave, so really Im indifferent. 
90) Do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? 
in the mornings. 
91) have you ever been high? 
nope. 
92) have you ever been drunk? 
nope. 
93) Last thing you ate? 
A chicken sandwhich with pesto, chedder and pita chips. 
94) Favorite lyrics right now? 
“why do we like to hurt so much?”~thats what you get, Paramore; 
“The walls start breathing My mind’s un-weaving Maybe it’s best you leave me alone”~It ends tonight, All American Rejects;
“Well there’s a million other girls who do it just like you Looking as innocent as possible to get to who They want and what they like, it’s easy if you do it right”~Misery Business, Paramore. 
“If I could find you now things would get better We could leave this town and run forever” Ocean Avenue, Yellowcard.
“Where’s your gavel? Your jury? What’s my offense this time? You’re not a judge but if you’re gonna judge me Well sentence me to another life.”Ignorance, Paramore
“Don’t wanna hear your sad songs I don’t wanna feel your pain When you swear it’s all my fault Cause you know we’re not the same”~Ignorance, Paramore. 
95) Summer or Winter? 
Winter. 
96) Day or Night? 
night. 
97) Dark, milk or white chocolate? 
Milk chocolate. but if you offer me white or dark chocolate, I wont refuse. 
98) Favorite Month? 
August. 
99) What is your Zodiac sign? 
Scorpio
100) Who was the last person you cried in front of? 
I dont cry when Im with other people. 
(I probabaly mispelled 50% of this. Im sorry.) 
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crown-eater · 8 years ago
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A maze of pain and insane fantasies
Over the course of the past week, ‘Choly had been making a genuine effort to start moving into Cecil’s apartment beyond simply leaving a few belongings here and there as he came and went. Things hadn’t quietened down on the Bell front, but his landlady had served him yet another "final notice” that felt more ominously terminal than the others that had come before it. So between acclimating to his metagenesis and running errands for Bell, Chalcedony, and the Tellurides, he had found himself doing his best to at least scavenge the important things.
Like the leg lamp.
The leg lamp caused a huge fuss, and it ended up in the garbage at least twice. Cecil hated the thing, but it was one of ‘Choly’s most cherished possessions, one of the few things he felt his mother’s hoarding habits had yielded to benefit. He had no idea why it existed, or what cultural significance it might have had, but it was his and he loved it. Ultimately the lovers had to agree to disagree, and the leg lamp moved around the apartment as Cecil repeatedly disowned it. ‘Choly always returned it to the side-table beside the daybed he’d taken for his own.
'Choly had a sizable collection of physical copy novels, including his most prized possessions Roadside Picnic and Crash, the former of which being a nearly verbot relic and thrill token, a tangible piece of Quarter history. But, the stack of roughly a dozen novels paled as child’s play compared to the walls of Cecil’s apartment so densely lined with bookshelves that he also used them as sectional dividers. Cecil had been spelunking to rescue books since childhood, and he cultivated two very different collections from the life’s work: one at the physical copies wing of the library, a good third of it his own additions, and a second at home. His private collection was comprised of books which catered to his own personal interests, including many books too damaged to donate or too controversial to air in public.
Unprecedented for ‘Choly was the experience of a good Wi-Fi signal in a private setting. Cecil had left ‘Choly to the task of unpacking a couple of boxes while Cecil went to work for the day, and once ‘Choly felt like he had gotten sufficient progress, he treated himself to Web surfing unabated.
The notification sound of his chat app startled him, and at first he was disgruntled because an unfamiliar username was messaging him.
9augen: hey you havent been posting very much lately
9augen: everything all right?
9augen: this is rev by the way
«There you are, you stupid ghoul,» he thought to himself. «So you went silent for over a month and came back with a new username. Clever.»
ketherphorbia: *i* haven’t been posting much lately?
ketherphorbia: welcome back to the land of the living
9augen: not quite
9augen: i was just wondering. isnt like you. didnt even make a journal post
9augen: usually you vent if somethings wrong?
ketherphorbia: you’re honestly the only person who’s noticed the radio silence, ironically
9augen: why wouldnt i notice? youre my favorite for reasons you know
ketherphorbia: ...i guess if i can dish to somebody, it’d be you
ketherphorbia: i, well
ketherphorbia: i did it. i tried it.
9augen is typing...
9augen: whatd you get your hands on???
ketherphorbia: the junk that’s making all the stalkers sick. fluxeldrin. turns out my assumptions were wrong. it’s not what made the supermarket geek
9augen: ...
9augen: the slag does it do to a dreg then
ketherphorbia: a lot of what it did really slagging sucks. i’ve mentioned my joint disorder before. all those symptoms are magnified to a fault. i...
ketherphorbia: i kinda literally fall apart now
ketherphorbia: on the plus side, it did make me a meta. a really shitty meta, but ME. a META.
9augen: magic fall apart powers sound incredibly useful to me
9augen: haha pics or it didnt happen
ketherphorbia: yeah i thought you were as hard over this as me, you dreg
ketherphorbia is sending a file DSC39082_100-3493.JPG.
Tumblr media
ketherphorbia: it stretches pretty far actually
9augen: fuck--
9augen: shit--
ketherphorbia: did i break you? you should see tricks my dick can do now
9augen: i--
ketherphorbia: i really need to take pics of that, but i’ve been kind of nervous to post ‘em anywhere
9augen: slagging cocktease the fuck man. im at a finnegans
ketherphorbia: sorry
9augen: no you arent. one of the reasons i love you
ketherphorbia: yeah no you’re right. you know me too well
9augen: ive told you before i think youre cute right
ketherphorbia: slag, the skin thing makes it hard to disagree with you
9augen: i never sent you a pic of me did i
ketherphorbia is typing...
ketherphorbia: i’m taken, y’know, but no. you haven’t.
9augen: i know. youre a chouay nasty little creature now like youve always wanted. maybe not the next clayface. but you still have got this teratophilic dregs heart pounding hard tonight
ketherphorbia: ...i try
9augen: theres a reason i havent sent you a pic before, but the reason i was quiet for the past month makes things a little more comfortable. i used to be pretty selfconscious about photographs
ketherphorbia is typing...
ketherphorbia: i have no idea what you could even possibly be going on about. you trying to tell me something happened last month? are you going to tell me what happened or not
9augen: The vampire stuff isn’t an act anymore.
ketherphorbia is typing...
ketherphorbia has stopped typing.
ketherphorbia: WHAT
9augen is sending a file DSC92734_101-2245.JPG.
ketherphorbia cancelled the file transfer.
9augen: the slag did you do that for
ketherphorbia: vampires don’t show up in pictures
9augen is sending a file DSC92734_101-2245.JPG.
9augen: very funny bugdick
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ketherphorbia: ...a hybrid...?
9augen: im more lamprey than anything else. but theres a lot of nuance to the cocktail. fine tuning
ketherphorbia: ...gives a whole new meaning to ‘body modification.’ how the slag did you even get that done last month? isn’t that stuff banned?
9augen is typing...
9augen: slag i hear somebody griping at the waitress about the smell of me. like some dead thing crawled out of the bay. shes probably going to kick me out. i should get going anyway
ketherphorbia: rude. you a wifi hopper too then?
9augen is typing...
9augen: parting thought for you though. i want my mouth all over every inch of that metahuman skin of yours. just imagine all the perfect lancet marks making lace out of you.
ketherphorbia: you show up in pictures. i really doubt i could keep you away just by not inviting you in.
9augen: im pretty sure they just called the cops. not the evening i was anticipating
9augen: i gotta get a bite to eat. later dreg
9augen: and would you really do something to keep me away? ;)
ketherphorbia is typing...
9augen is offline.
ketherphorbia: did you just--
‘Choly nearly flung the reader once his friend logged off without further answers. Had Rev just implied what it had sounded like? After a minute of trying to calm down, he opened the vampire’s selfie again and stared. He’d snapped that picture in the Finnegan’s. Time-stamp aside, ‘Choly could recognize the newsprint-plastered walls in the background--that was a frequent Wi-Fi lurk for him. The fact the two shared a stomping ground but had never initiated meeting in person haunted ‘Choly a bit. But now, his friend was a lot less inconspicuous.
He decided to make lunch instead of try to linger on the chaos that just thrust itself upon him. Hours later, he was checking his mail on his reader, and had gotten correspondence from a 9augen email. The following thread of emails were exchanged over the course of just over two months.
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To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————
I suppose I do owe you an explanation, Kether. We’ve known each other long enough, and we trust enough enough. Yes, I did get the work done last month. Yes, that kind of work is verbot. Yes, I’m supposed to keep hush-hush about it until the coast is clear. But, I know I can trust you with the knowledge that the movement is still very much alive and kicking.
You like stories. How about some non-fiction for a change?
I didn’t know what to expect when I went to see him. Aside from what little understanding of splicing I had through news coverage, all I knew of it had been vampires in my coven who’d had the fortune--and I use that word in both senses--to have had work done while it was still legal, to become more like themselves and live as the creatures of the night they were in their souls.
There’s still a lot of under the table activity. Alleyways, clinics. People get work done however they can sneak it. One girl came into this one club a few months ago, even, said she’d traded a few sexual favors for the funds to get a splice that’d emulate albinism for her and would cut her teeth. She was having great difficulty keeping herself from feeding directly from the flesh afterward. They hadn’t used sterile equipment, and the last thing she wanted was to contaminate the coven or its donors. She became a pariah for her limitations after the coven learned of the blood disease. Requiring blood be drawn, rather than be capable of drawing it oneself, is weakness, and in one of us weakness is revolting. And she wasn’t strong enough to accumulate the funds to go about seeking a cure, to dig herself back out of her self-imposed grave.
I was so wary of botched jobs, of diseased implements, of cut dosages... Everything after the ban went into effect sounded too good to be true, that anyone might ever have the chance to get work done again by someone with both the credentials and accommodations to do it and do it well. A friend of a friend was in with one of the underground grafters, got us private referrals for a new project, at a cut rate due to it being a test procedure. None of us was given the same time. The location was a residential address, an apartment in the lower-mid of Union City. Nice, but still obviously it was an aging complex. A feathered girl greeted me and, after confirming I was alone, ushered me inside. Despite being a residential space, the whole place was set up like a laboratory. It was prodigious.
I went in with a lot of specific plans in mind. I told the grafter the things I wanted. Heavy on the bat serum. Wolf eyes. I had the money and the opportunity, and I was going to get exactly what I wanted out of it.
Turns out, I only thought I knew what I really wanted out of it.
Let me tell you. This Linnaeus is the most intimidating, persuasive, and completely dominating individual you will ever have the pleasure of meeting. He’s also probably the most brilliant. I couldn’t even begin to guess what species he’s got in him. In the month since, I’ve been told he specializes in splicing with extinct species. I would call bollocks on such a claim, but it sounds crazy enough to be one-hundred percent true.
After hearing the particulars of my desires, he thought a moment, paced. He pulled up a chair next to me and coolly asked me what vampire species I could name off the top of my head--besides the vampire bat. On the spot and overshadowed by his overwhelming aura, I could only stammer out something stupid, like mosquitoe or flea. I can’t remember exactly what answer I gave him, but I clearly remember his trite, patient laugh that came of it. At that point, he pulled out a graphics reader and tried to pitch to me an entirely different angle. I can only guess that an artist can draw so many of a thing before becoming tired of repetition, regardless of it being a commission. And I am starting to believe that the species I desired for the work simply didn’t push the envelope enough to fit the bill of his particular... project.
This was so much more than just getting the features of bat and wolf. This was about becoming myself. He’d deliberated the best way to give me what I’d be happiest with, and I had the impression he had the entire animal kingdom to sample from--within reason, of course, as he’s working within the shadows of the law. He told me briefly, without going into significant detail, that he was working on harnessing the strengths and idiosyncrasies of all life, going beyond the animal kingdom. It certainly sounds promising, whatever he means.
Ultimately, we came to the agreement that my splicing job would use the pacific lamprey as its base, but that I would get the vampire bat ears I’d sought coming to see him. The underlying work is complex, but everything is so finely tuned to enhance everything else. Cave salamander, and a strange anemone-like creature called a tunicate. Did you know the cave salamander has cultural roots with the Roma? The gills along my neck are mostly superficial, and the lungs don’t do much either--all that’s in my skin now. The nasal structure has a bit of a sonar thing to it, from both the salamander and lamprey; every smell is intense now. Slag, my mouth is filled with teeth now, cheeks ringed with lancets. Linnaeus tells me the tunicate helps with bloodborne pathogens. I later found it also helps with whatever I get exposed to in the bay.
Doesn’t help with the smell, though.
I’m glad that I could reach out to you, and keep correspondence with you. It’s taken a lot to get used to being aquatic, but I regret absolutely nothing that I’ve left behind. Living near the docks has been a slagged blessing. Perfect hunting grounds, and nobody bothers me so long as I stay off shore. I think you’d love hearing about the weird shit I find at the bottom of the bay. Believe it or not, it’s good money. Pawn shops hardly ever have the nerve to question where I got waterlogged goods. Not that it’s smart to question me. With this lean, cartilaginous skeleton, the splicing also yielded me significant height gain, mostly in my torso. The lengthening of my body was necessary to accommodate swimming muscles, but I slouch horribly so it’s hardly obvious just how tall I stand until I straighten up.
I so enjoy the shock value of doing that. Norms haven’t seen the likes of this nascent wave of chimeric hybrids, so I must be some kind of unholy cryptid to them. As though I’d continue unfolding in other ways were they to truly rile me. Admittedly, I do. ...But it’s rare to get a glimpse of the inside of my mouth.
I would love to meet you in person finally sometime. Get acquainted with one another’s new-found inhumanities. Get to play with that skin of yours. Show each other in person what the other’s body’s limits are. Maybe include your boyfriend in fooling around, if he’d be interested. I promise I won’t eat you, either of you, except perhaps in the most platonic sense. I cherish you too much.
Though really, I must admit, the hardest thing about adjusting to this wonderful luck of mine was finding a waterproof reader. Not that I get good Wi-Fi reception in the better half of the bay, nor that I’m able to recharge it without venturing onto land. I just don’t want to slag it up if I get it wet, you know?
This got meandering. I’m going to cut it off here, and leave everything open to discussion. It’s good to be back in touch with you. I wonder if, now that you’re what you write about, that you’ll write about yourself instead of just for yourself.
                                 --Don’t be shy.
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To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that.  —————————————
>I suppose I do... >You like storie... >I didn’t know w... >There’s still a... >I was so wary o... >I went in with ... >Turns out, I on... >Let me tell you... >After hearing t... >This was so muc... >Ultimately, we ... >Doesn’t help wi... >It’s taken a lo... >I so enjoy the ... >I would love to... >Though really, ... >This got meande... >--Don’t be shy.
I hope you understand how overwhelmed I am with all this.
I still don’t get how I didn’t pick up after all this time that you were in the vampire scene. That... kind of actually manages to make you even creepier than before. In a good way. I promise in a good way.
Understandable, then, I hope, just how jealous I am of you and what you have. This skin and bone deformity is nothing compared to having become an outright monster, complete with the appetites of one.
Slag it all, man.
You’ve got to tell me everything.
What was it like? To have the serum take effect? You must have been conscious.
Describe it to me.
Your semen must be very salty.
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To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————
>>I suppose... >>You like s... >>I didn’t k... >>There’s st... >>I was so w... >>I went in ... >>Turns out,... >>Let me tel... >>After hear... >>This was s... >>Ultimately... >>Doesn’t he... >>It’s taken... >>I so enjoy... >>I would lo... >>Though rea... >>This got m... >>--Don’t be...
>I hope you unde... >I still don’t g... >Understandable... >Slag it all, ma... >You’ve got to t... >What was it lik... >Describe it to ... >Your semen must...
Spouting off Ballard quotes at me. You must be a wreck...
Creepier than before? I suppose. You’ve always known my predilection for the classics. Fang and claw have always been a preference over tooth an nail.
What was it like? It was an utter entheogeny, my friend. Do you know what a grafting gun is like? To aid in the serum’s administration, it isn’t a single needle but six very fine-gauged needles, in a pneumatic hypodermic gun. In that medical implement, the approximation to vaccination is one which makes me smile to this day, chemicals which carried with them the proverbial antibodies which would make me capable of fighting off the plague of a chronic illness otherwise known to the public as “humanity.”
Linnaeus and his technician had before the procedure harnessed me like a modern Saint Andrew, the cross-like restraints having evolved thoroughly alongside the medicine which required them; their robotic cuffs could expand or contract, as could the distance of each of the hydraulic arcs of its aureole, which envelopd the entirety of the body of the device and acted as its structural integrity in the absence of a characteristic saltire structure.
He’d said that it had been difficult to replace this harness in particular after the ban, also said it had been necessary to be procured again. Implications lingered that the ban had bankrupted his agency, though there was something more to the specialty of this device. There had been incidents in the movement’s embryonic state, before he had implemented such measures as protective bondage.
He did not, however, go into further detail.
In deliberate irony or not, he went for the throat for the injection site. The serum itself felt much like a typical intravenous application, well-chilled and somewhat astringent. Heavy in the veins. Its seeming effervescence was not from gases, but of its heterogeneous components under high pressure. The syringe hisses pneumatically when it fires its contents into you One would suppose that someone with an aversion to needles would panic at hearing that sound in the sense of an injection; though, panic might be too considerate a word. Especially inches from one’s ear.
If he had not been referencing a phobia of needles in his practical necessity for the ring-like restraint system, however, it was the resultant agony of a teenage growth spurt, magnified across the span of the boughs of species, and sped up within a frame observable to the naked eye. It was as though I’d never truly experienced the metamorphosis to the adulthood I’d been meant to undertake. As a normal human being acclimates to his changing body, he might have his shins ache, or be inexplicably hungry, or suffer from bouts of hormone swings. All these things are exponentially worse when your cells are shifting between species, and trying to settle comfortably somewhere in between.
I never realized just what kind of masochist I was until that night.
Bone became cartilage. Skin became mucous membrane. Entire organs restructured themselves. There were entire minutes I could not breathe. My jaws dissolved, for the most part; simultaneously, the total surface of my expanding mouth sprouted dozens of rings of razor-sharp thorns. Nearly three times the vertebrae now comprise my spine. I was suffocating, and I was starving.
The metamorphosis extorts a great energy from a hybrid.
The feathered woman was the one to release me from the cross, whispering forth pedantic blandishments as I sank to rest on all fours. As I glared up at her, the extension of my external gills must have seemed more a threat display than a cry for oxygen. My head swam, but all of me needed to. I was too dizzy to take in anything either of them said, though I clearly recall the doctor finding some distinct pleasure and pride in how completely the serum had taken. “You’ll learn to breathe again,” I remember him admiring as the two of them permitted me at last to shove myself out the door and down the street.
I was fortunate that their secret clinic was so low in the city’s bowels, so close to the river. I didn’t care then how rank the water was, how I knew in my heart even just a fraction of the stuff might kill me. Water. I needed water. I don’t remember how I ended up at the dock, or how I ended up in the bay. I imagine I mostly flopped by inertia. The salt only stung for a moment, as it caught me off-guard; but then, as my faculties began to seep back into me, I could tell that the saline levels were facilitating my ability to breathe and take in the water.
So I was a saltwater fish now? I remember asking myself. It’s a good thing I’m a Jersey devil, then, I guess. I remember the insistent hunger, too, and that even then, my veins burned violently, especially those in my skull.
You know me well enough to know what state in which that experience left me. You also know me well enough to take pride in knowing this is an erotic work crafted for ketherphorbia, written for your own eyes only.
I suppose it’s not entirely out of line for me to return the favor, and ask you to describe your metagenesis.
A celebration. A coronation of wounds inflicted against the iniquity of manhood.
We’re both creatures now. More alike than either of us thought previous. Am I right?
I want to see more of you.
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To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Re: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————
>>I hope you... >>I still do... >>Understan... >>Slag it al... >>You’ve got... >>What was i... >>Describe i... >>Your semen...
>Spouting off Ba... >Creepier than b... >What was it lik... >Linnaeus and hi... >He’d said that ... >He did not, how... >In deliberate i... >If he had not b... >I never realize... >Bone became car... >The metamorphos... >The feathered w... >I was fortunate... >So I was a salt... >You know me wel... >I suppose it’s ... >A celebration. ... >We’re both crea... >I want to see m...
There are no words to convey just how arousing that sounds. I guess the best compliment I can give is to divulge the mighty fine time I’ve had rereading that last email. I can only imagine how the fuck the man knew how bad your autoerotic asphyxia was. Maybe he noticed the rope-like bruising on your neck... I’ll get off your case, but I won’t stop getting off on your case. :)
You want to know how it went? The story’s one testament after another of my own clumsiness and stupidity. It started with a date with Cecil at the coffee shop on Garden Center. The woman spearheading Tri-City’s EPA presence had decided that same shop would be where she would unwind after the day she’d been having, and a point of conversation with Cecil resulted in her burning ears shouldering in to both drop information and grab some of her own from us. One thing led to another, and I ended up with enough information to suggest not just where the Supermarket Geek had taken his spill, but what it had been he spilled in.
I vacillate whether I have hindsight not to have researched my facts further before acting upon them. But it was enough for me, that the conversation had yielded an unprecedented factoid, to the point that said information spurred a particular writing session.
I don’t know if you read the “Quarter Oysters” wip I threw up on my blog a while back. I’ve written more recent things, but there are a number of reasons I can’t share them. Really, though. I don’t know. Maybe I can share them with you. You’ve already made me an accomplice to slag all of verbot shit. Turnabout’s fair play...
Any rate... After writing “Quarter Oysters,” I snuck out of the house and broke into the dump site I’d had described to me. The place was littered with toxic waste drums. In several spots, they were stacked up over a story high. I’d never seen such a thing be so organized as this. Many of them were leaking to spite their order. Some of them even glowed. There were two guards stationed, and I managed to duck them once; they’d almost found me the first time because I’d slipped and thrown out my knee, but I chewed on the shoulder of my shirt and reset it while in hiding. I found a drum of Fluxeldrin cordoned off by tape, and I had my tippling cane with me, so I had a vial to sample of it. I’d have taken more than one, since the cane contained four, but I already heard them coming for me, and I couldn’t hide fast enough. So, I only took the one and hastily reassembled my cane, rather than risk getting caught actively stealing it. They threw me out of the Yard, but they thought I’d just been a snooping idiot cripple. For once my youthful look and decrepit demeanor benefited me. They had no idea I’d smuggled my prize.
I shambled down the street and found myself a safe place where I could mull things over in private. The place was run down, even for a half-completed apartment complex. I’m not even joking, it was creepy as hell. Someone had been living there, I’m sure of it, and from what I saw in the rotting pressboard cabinets, I’m sure they were cooking drugs or bombs or something. There was even a nasty spring-box mattress there. And a bathtub, but not attached to anything. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the kind that installs into where the floor and wall meet when it’s just a free-floating hunk of fiberglass, but they are unsettling as hell when they’re not installed.
My reader was going dead because I’d used it as a flashlight while retrieving my prize, so I couldn’t really research after the fact. I knew Cecil would freak if he found me in possession of the stuff, so I had to act on it then and there. I didn’t have enough to rub it into my skin and get even coverage, so I decided like an idiot I had to drink it for maximum effect. Fluxeldrin glows an aggressive lime green, is oily like antifreeze, and smells like rotten cut flowers but worse. The consistency of it made it cling to every surface of my innards that it came into contact with, and the smell and taste of it had me fighting all compulsion to regurgitate every last drop of it along with all my organs. I flung the vial after downing its contents, too caught up in the moment to realize the recklessness of it. Fighting the urge to vomit, hands on my mouth trying to keep my lips clenched tightly together, I ultimately collapsed on the mattress, not even caring about the grime.
When I awoke, there was blood on the mattress where my face had been, crusted up around my nose and mouth. I threw out the same knee again upon trying to stand--but this time, I threw it out as though the joint weren’t actually connected, and I spilled out on the cement floor. I really wish my reader hadn’t been dead by then, because I would kill right now for a photograph of something that can make me vomit. And I mean I puked to the bile, the way that the fall had disheveled my leg. Couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I managed to get it back together, and gather my belongings. Putting my cane back together, I barely managed to get to my date with Cecil for lunch the next day.
I bullshat some stupid excuse about having had to hit the yards early that morning for something time sensitive. The night before he’d suggested that he could get me a job working at the Central Library, and after lunch he dragged me up there to show me around. I was interested in doing all this, really I was... but it was so hard with all my joints feeling like every surface was over-oiled. With fifteen minutes to closing time, I ran into the Geek trying to use his library card for the first time. Meeting him, I can guarantee you he’s a stalker too. ...I made an idiot out of myself and really shook him up trying to get him to eat my finger splints. I’m still messed up over that.
But that doesn’t even get to the verbot shit. The stress of having slagged up first impressions with the Geek had me pretty literally falling apart. All the physical problems my joint disorder’s inured me to, that all’s magnified by what the Fluxeldrin did to me. Worse for wear, I ended up trying to get in with Dr. Bell before the All’s Well Clinic closed for the evening. I didn’t manage it. So, I did the logical thing and broke in through the back door with the intent to “borrow” some pain pills, and wait out the night to see him first thing in the morning. The first week I was like this was the most excruciating, man. This condition has the unprecedented ability to drive me to do just about anything to alleviate these systems, when they flare up. And breaking and entering a pharmaceutical storage wasn’t outside the realm of what felt acceptable in my present state that night...
I fell face-first into Bell’s racket. He’s the only doctor in the city with knowledge of the metahuman condition, and the only one whom I can reasonably see helping me cope with what the Fluxeldrin did to me--but it comes at with a high price tag. I know his deal, but he has that B&E hanging over me. If I don’t do exactly what he says, he’s got ways to make my life hell. And he’s got me running shopping errands for him for the truck he cooks for his projects. He’s the heart of the Quarter, I just know it.
I’m so torn on the right thing to do because my dick doesn’t want what’s taking place to ever stop. I guess I’m telling you not just that I trust you not to tell anybody, but that I want some input on what kind of person it makes me, to be going along with this madness to avoid the fallout of shaking the foundation everything’s tentatively scattered upon. I’m scared, Rev. For Bell’s victims, for me, for Cecil. For everybody who’s ever gotten sick in the Quarter.
This got really long-winded and meandered into a “from one friend to another” situation. So, to make it up to you, a quick and dirty recap:
I broke into a stalking yard and stole a flask of fluxeldrin. And drank it. I drank something that fluoresced neon lime green, smelled and tasted like rot, and felt like gasoline. Something I knew could kill me. Something I knew was banned in its industry of origin due to its health hazards. I drank that. And it made me the shittiest meta that will likely ever be.
It’d be nice to meet, but I’m not sure how that would even work. You said you’re a fish now, but you’d be a fish out of water... Even I know better than to go anywhere near the toxic soup that dares to call itself Hudson Bay...
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To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————
>>Spouting o... >>Creepier t... >>What was i... >>Linnaeus a... >>He’d said ... >>He did not... >>In deliber... >>If he had ... >>I never re... >>Bone becam... >>The metamo... >>The feathe... >>I was fort.. >>So I was a... >>You know m... >>I suppose ... >>A celebrat... >>We’re both... >>I want to ...
>There are no wo... >You want to kno... >I vacillate whe... >I don’t know if... >Any rate... Aft... >I shambled down... >My reader was g... >When I awoke, t... >I bullshat some... >But that doesn’... >I fell face-fir... >I’m so torn on ... >This got really... >I broke into a ... >It’d be nice to...
Delight is in the details. Oh, would I have never expected a short story written explicitly for mine eyes alone--let alone with such minutiae of gauche detail! Were it under suspicion of being fiction, I would think you a master for the unfortunate believability of your tale; that the course of events you’ve described can’t not have happened.
I’ve been around the coastline of the Quarter since my rebirth. The scent you described is very potent for this nose, these gills. If I were to hazard assumptions, I do believe the stuff has begun to seep into the water table, into the river. Of all the areas of the waterways around this city I can’t tolerate, it’s there, believe it or not. Something about it is fundamentally repulsive, and no matter what it is, I can’t shake what feels like an archetypal fear of it. So, for you to so casually narrate your deliberate pursuit of obtaining this Fluxeldrin business, and so flippantly have imbibed it... Well, I harbor a revolting admiration for you.
You do find yourself between a rock and a hard place, I imagine. Several. Or maybe, you simply find yourself hard between all these rocks. I won’t force details, though I can certainly read between the lines. It’s difficult to say. But, knowing you...I needn’t remind you how often we’ve shared the fantasy of some pandemic mutating the masses like some fabric-rending reality, culling the unfit. Everything is perfect.
The world is fluorescing into wounds, as you so describe.
To say you’d kill for something graphic enough to make you retch. I’d love to see it, too. Systemically disarticulate you, just to watch what you’d do. Stretch out that stuff that used to be your skin, curious how translucent it is, admire the veins.
Calling the bay an unapproachable toxic soup, though? I survive just fine in it. It’s all I have, Kether.
Regardless.
I’m sure we can determine a way to make this work.
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galimatios · 5 years ago
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alister/alice/astrid/who the fuck are you revamp notes + new oc elias
actually it makes canonical sense if i made this oc as mary sueish as possible. i get to give them a ridiculously pretty and unrealistic name and wild tf out im excited. fuck it ill give them a sibling bc i want More
I THINK I CAN ACTUALLY FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GIVE THIS CHARACTER DEPTH BEYOND BEING AN EDGY FUCK AND IM A LITTLE SHOOK BC OH NO i want to play with this idea of being put onto such a pedestal that it completely dehumanizes you... like youre being revered as superior but you... are still human and its still fucked up and unhealthy. you're loved for what you represent, not who you actually are its to the point where you no longer have a sense of self outside the function/role you've been assigned and once you lose that everything youve known comes falling apart breathes and i want to give them an older sib who received the same treatment but ran away sibling is high achievement, went to a prestigious school, had to fight his ass off to get away from family and works really hard bc if he does badly it jeopardizes his independence and he doesnt want to go back at all costs. he'd rather be homeless than at home he does very well in all things but its out of a drive to be completely independent of his family and he throws himself into his work and studies as a coping mechanism... very good at keeping up appearances but occasionally says some odd/alarming things hes still in the process of kind of figuring himself out and coming to terms w his situation? healing and such. he remembers the sibling he left behind and there is. a lot of regret there. but what can he do? he thought he was gonna die if he didnt get out asap meanwhile younger sib at home is just. a loose screw completely under the influence of their family. they do eventually end up leaving due to some.. kind of circumstance i think? but by then so much damage has already been done what if i just gave everyone in this e names just because idk im feeling like. names that start with vowels fsr i wanna name the boy elias bc it is. prety the younger sib maybe edelweiss originally but theres been a namechange at least once. MAYBE. or maybe an a or i name? hm i have to develop a ton of lore fuck. and research into some things to flesh this out but i have Fuckin. ideas. AND NOW IVE JUST REALIZED I CAN MERGE AN INCOMPLETE OC CONCEPT WITH THIS ONE. MY FIRST... EVER... OC.... FINALLY GETS A TRUE REVAMP after age 21+ , alister's aes is like tattoos everywhere. dyed hair. painted nails, makeup that looks. somehow. kind of esoteric. smokes heavily, drug addict, alcoholic, just Sincerely fucked. wildly incoherent fashion, looks like louis vuitton one day and goodwill the next genderfluid also, goes by alice as much as they go by Alister, volatile and erratic, people get the sense theyre always on the edge of something but dont know what it is existing is a constant battle of trying to dissociate away from having any real coherent thought i think the only time they have a respite is when theyre asleep elias feels horrible. he meets up with alister years and years later and realizes they're fucked beyond belief, and it was His Fault. they actively blame him for it. in other settings id probably give them a different name tho... not relevant rn but maybe sth with an i either way theyre super self destructive in every possible way and elias is trying to hold on for dear life getting them help ezra's presence complicates things bc theyre also ... both a victim and participant in old family's cult bullshit and ezra still perpetuates some of that toxicity even tho they largely do Nothing now its like just being there feeds into alisters false ego together its Pretty Bad bc they feed off eachother unhealthily and elias really wants to intervene but hes also dealing w his own shit and he isnt sure what to do. he needs a support system is what it is... INTRODUCES HIM TO OTHER OCS.... oh fuck found family
ELIAS... high achieving pretty boy but hes in this friendgroup of ppl who are wildly different ... he learns so Much from being around them though? i want him to have a convo with rosetta about her family.. underprivileged but deeply loving, and elias is like... oh that's how family should be. LAYS DOWN AND THINKS ABOUT SUPPORT FROM THESE PPL FROM DIFFERENT WALKS OF LIFE PUTTING THIS abnormal abusive shit into context and elias REALIZES so much from his friends. he. he has friends! dont think elias is that soft tho. i feel like he has some anger issues, occasionally sth will cause him to .. not necessarily lash out but the Danger in his eyes appear and basically you dont fuck w him. hes very determined. before friendgroup, absolute loner really competitive like his life depended on it, worked himself to the bone bc he needed an identity outside what the family assigned him and he shaped himself around his accomplishments which isnt healthy either but its what he did hes like this up until a few yrs after getting his masters degree in... something. its only when hes forced to socialize more for Being An Adult In Society and Not In College Reasons. then he meets a bunch of dropouts and post-grad ppl during some function?
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