#the kind i had trouble giving to myself
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Also now I'm feeling really shit about not getting to anything for trans day of remembrance this year.
#i literally missed it because i suck :(#but also i've been feeling kind of weird sometimes about it#the name reading where you just know all the latin american names are mispronounced#this is the uk where it's harder to find a latinx person (or even a spanish person) to be able to help with that or do the reading#but still i think it needs some preparation beforehand if at all possible#i know these things don't have the greatest support network behind them but still :/#i just think there's something really sad about messing up the names of trans people specifically!#even if it's not in a misnaming/transphobic context#also i've seen the criticisms i know this can tend to be about white middle class trans people making it about ourselves#or something but i don't know what the solution to that is#and like any vigil maybe it's main purpose is as a symbol and to bring people together#i just remember in like 2018 when i travelled to the next town over (because there's nothing like that here)#and went to the before event and it was packed out#and my people from my bi/pan meetup group were there (i wish that group still existed :( )#some as allies and many as trans people because surprise tonnes of bi and pan people are trans way more than you'd think from the discourse#i was kind of in the in between space between ally and trans back then#i had no idea what i to do about that but in that moment i felt such love and compassion coming to me from that room#the kind i had trouble giving to myself#i think that has value even though i fully take on board the criticism of the day#we can say trans people murdered around the world are our siblings but we really have no idea what their lives are like#but maybe that's the key thing-that solidarity can still happen if we look outwards as well as inwards?#figuring out you're trans means looking inwards by necessity but we can also look outwards and say 'i can't ever fully understand#but i want to'#i don't know i feel weird tonight sorry to ramble :(
1 note
·
View note
Text
15 Days of FatT - BRANCH
KEITH: Phrygian tells [Saffron] that when people are war-weary, they go home.
when "Once the War’s Over" got introduced I got really excited about the possibility of hearing about Phrygian's home - the Golden Branch, the places and people they cared about... I really love what we got instead, but I do still think about it sometimes.
(Branched ideas crowdsourced from @podcastingpineapple, @violentandmagnificent and @banneduser-on-cohost)
(+ just the lines)
#phrygian#15 days of fatt#15daysoffatt#palisade#palisade spoilers#friends at the table#fatt#rosa art#(i love my lines. ignore me whenever i say lining is a pain)#god i had trouble coloring this though. ough. kind of fun though. might give it another shot sometime#had kind of a. 'phrygian again huh' reaction @ myself when i had this idea. alas!#my original one was to draw a branched oc but i. would like to do something more fun with that than just regular digital art
163 notes
·
View notes
Text
is it known For Sure that the inspiration for Leave Me Alone was the press? bc, and i'm not saying this is true i'm just pondering, i can really hear it being about his family. most of the commentary i see about it just goes back to it being about tabloids, and i feel like people are distracted by the music video. the song was written in 85-86, and the lyrics really sound to me like they're about an abusive personal relationship. which, ok, metaphors - i'm not saying it's NOT about the press, but yknow... it could have multiple inspirations.
his toxic ass family. looking back on the Victory tour mess and everything.... i can so hear "there's a time when you're right and you know you must fight" meaning 'I have to start saying no, even though I love them, even when it's difficult, even when they guilt me." "You got a way of making me feel so sorry" ? oh come on. that screams family.
#don't come begging me i love you i don't want it i don't i don't i don't#<- seriously.#and a lot of those lyrics don't really apply to the press... sorry but michael never had trouble getting media attention#the mj + press relationship was not a give and take kind of thing. 'there was a time i used to say girl i need you' mm. was there?#sorry i've convinced myself. i can only hear this being about his family rn
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i remember the first time ever i listened to SO i was like pfft rap? get out. (i was cringe) and then when i gave it a listen again a few months later i was a changed person... so i binge listened to their entire discography immediately and was genuinely shocked because how could ALL of their songs be bangers, like i couldn't believe it was possible it was surreal........ i wish i could turn back time (lol) to experience that pure shock again
#and the funny thing is i was in denial abt liking them for some time#i couldnt afford a new hyperfixation in that specific year#and i remember thinking to myself 'lol their music might be good but they're probably ugly its okay i wont like them'#(I WAS A TEENAGER SORRY FOR MY MENTALITY)#so i searched them up on pinterest and guess what i saw. the blurryface photoshoot#i kind of glitched and realized i was fucked#but i still tried to deny it and avoided looking at their pictures for days#but i eventually gave in and looked up videos and interviews and random facts about them#i was like SO stressed out abt this like i would get in trouble if someone found out i like them ahjdkdl#mind u in my country hardly anyone knows who they are#i made peace tho and then i fully embraced becoming a clikkie#technically im a hiatus clikkie#and one of the biggest concerns in my life then was the question of 'ARE THEY RETIRING WHY ARE THEY GONE'#idk looking back its so funny#this was in 2017#OH and one more thing#i was born and raised a christian and still was at that point (now i am not)#and all my life my mom would heavily censor stuff that would come across as 'devilish' or even mildly offensive to the christian religion#yknow even harry potter#so i had this irrational fear/anxiety abt stuff like that wired in my brain as well#so when i saw the hds live vid on youtube (the official one with a ton of views)#i got sincerely worried they might be some kind of devil worshippers or something 💀#them having a song called heathens did NOT help#off i went to google their religion and... the relief i felt when i found out they were christian lol#btw my mom did freak out over heathens when she found out 💀💀#i wont go into detail but she did give me trauma when she learned about the dema storyline too............#i still dont play lore videos when she's in the room 🥲🥲 thats why im lowkey jealous of clikkies with clikkie parents#okay story times over lol#tøp#nemotakeit
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the way i wasn't dxed until i was thirty and all my schoolwork looks like this.
#the letters that melt off as I've completely lost track and am giving myself whiplash trying to stay awake.#had a really great conversation with a disability counselor while i was feeling particularly like.#ok but like this is a fake disorder that people make up to excuse the fact that we suck at life right.#she's deaf & said 'i can't imagine where I'd be if i grew up being told everyone has trouble hearing sometimes. just cope.'#and you know it doesn't matter ultimately right it's all past now and i can and am doing things now#but also man. realizing how much the way teachers feeling so personally betrayed by your imperfection#has affected how i approached and responded to every kind of relationship after.#so dumb but past tense. i get it now and i know what's up and i get to maintain perspective now.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
sweating and shaking over whether or not to up my rating of the revenge of frankenstein to 5/5.
#fighting myself over it bc i definitely enjoy it but there might be enough stuff in it that's just kinda.#i hesitate to say mediocre. that i can't exactly defend outside of 'well it's there!'#it felt a lot shorter on this watch and it's having me feeling so very kind towards it.#it is a masterpiece either way i rate it though obviously.#idk how i feel about the dirty weird guy who just kinda hangs around causing trouble honestly.#bc on one hand i find him vaguely funny and he definitely adds some further thematic depth to the themes#of dehumanization and prejudice (and how they go hand in hand) that pervade the flick but he's also so.#aggravating because of it. the film needed a character like him but also he feels like a walking plot convenience.#same thing with eunice gayson's character. the film obviously needs a character like her because of what it is but she feels#underdeveloped. honestly i would've loved for the film to be like ten minutes longer :)#but i feel like they probably wouldn't've utilized the run time.#myevilposts#hammer#frankenstein#the revenge of frankenstein#they should've given peter a billion dollar film budget and had him write it and everything idc if it'd been awful i'd be eating it up#like puppy dog chow for real human boys. and i'd fall asleep in the bowl.#i decided to give it five stars btw and it made firefox crash 😭
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Well, I seem to have gotten my minecart system working. No lost carts this time
Just... slowed the whole system way way way down, after a lot of research the best answer seems to be that too many carts too quick overwhelms the hopper, and taking a closer look as I was dismantling things showed me that the observer was managing to send two pulses
So I added my go to comparator decay clock and then with a little work put a falling edge monostable circuit (ie a piston with an observer on it that triggers nothing when pushed but something when pulled back), so basically it's extended when the signal is decaying and only goes off once the signal dies... double pulse from the observer just extends the timer
Still reasonably depressed. I've said it before, I'm just brittle at this point. It's not like some stupid cart system in minecraft is making me want to die... I'm just fucking tired of living, so guess what? This just adds to the list of reasons to fuck off
Nothing I do matters. This doesn't matter in the slightest. I build it more compulsively than with any purpose
I want to finish that mountain base (which is still probably a few years off at least at this pace), and I just kinda want to finish it cause I want to finish it... but can you honestly say that once it's all said and done, that I won't just pass it to my friend who I play with, and then in like 20 years when I'm dead it won't fall victim to digital decay without anyone even having seen it?
Like be honest for a minute, it's not gonna stop me working on it, but be honest and ask yourself... will anyone besides one other person even see it?
I don't need a million fans or something, I'd just like some of the shit I do to matter or last a bit... and nothing does
Tell me a single thing I've done that actually has some kind of meaningful impact... or anything that I'll ever do
#mm minecraft#this tag isn't really meant for me to be morose in; but truthfully minecraft reflects back a lot of my real world issues#mm tag so i can find things later#redstone reflecting back how painful it is for me to wing it and teach myself something I don't know#the trouble building reflecting back how hard it is to gather my thoughts enough to act instead of getting decision paralysis#so it's not really the place for it; but I'll just add that one of the things that eats at me is that no one will ever love me#everyone likes me; I'm polite and people mistake that for kindness; it's rare for people not to like me#but no one's ever going to love me... frankly no one's going to have me around unless I'm making myself useful#the second I stop being useful people stop talking until the next time they need something#...it's not intentional... I think people are just busy and get caught up in their own lives#but I could give probably 50 examples easy off the top of my head#if I'm not actively maintaining a conversation; then it dies (not like I don't let conversations drop myself... not like I always respond)#I'm not really mad... just alone#maybe I manage to teach out of my basement; give other people what I wish I had now#I'll be lost in a crowd; surrounded by people who like me (and how useful I am) and then alone at night forever till I die#so why wait?#I'd ask 'does that makes sense?' but lets be honest; there's no one here in the tags with me#most of what I say just goes into the void and... honestly... I don't think the void stares back... I think it's just me; empty; alone#...don't take this as me being perfect and put upon by my inferior friends and acquaintances#I like people; they care; they do their best and are just... kinda bad at it; but they care#and I constantly fall short; most of this must be my own making; and I certainly often lack the words to support people#but... is there a scrap of... of reason in what I'm saying? can people care but never be there unless they need something?#or unless I'm keeping the conversation going?#I liaise and get someone into a friend group for support... it's not like I get an invitation to join too#and certainly it's true I didn't ask and no one's mind readers; I told you it's my own creation... and would I even have things in common?#but it's the... never really asking; you know?#I listen to very interesting things from my friend all day; but when I say something... it just gets ignored#I'm suicidal on a trip that... I still kinda don't know why I was asked to come visit...#but I'm suicidal there; and the support I get is asking me to pray... I'm miserable and worthless; so you'll convert me?#(save me; I know; give me the spiritual tonic; I get it... it was meant in earnest to help... but do you get my perspective?)
1 note
·
View note
Text
Paying back your roommate is objectively the right thing to do but it becomes pretty fucking difficult to emotionally and ethically justify knowing she probably blew the entire collective household rent on being fined for "putting off" mowing the grass for 3 months.
#And is probably going to spend the same amount in the coming months because she killed the grass by mowing it wrong.#People who come from money are truly something else. I think if I was in that situation I would just kill myself.#☠️#People have literally told me to my face if I didn't have a cigarette habit I wouldn't fall behind on bills.#Meanwhile there are people like my roommate who burned through $10-20k in like 2 months on video games and concerts and take out.#We are talking $100 a day in doordash orders.#Maybe the problem is just that I don't fucking have money because it's clearly not giving some people much trouble huh. 💀#She is also exactly the kind of person to post 'adhd tax 🥺' memes meanwhile I had to take the bus to an urgent care last week.#Whatever. At least she covered the fee and actually eventually mowed the grass.#An incredibly low bar but I've had worse roommates. She just annoys me for being rich and careless and passive aggressive.
0 notes
Note
omg??? the teacher thing thats so mean 😭 good to know you took it as a champ and the fact you kept it AND printed it is so funny
She was actually the worst person I ever met omfg it's been twelve years and I'm still bitter about it 😂 I am never getting rid of that email. Sometimes I pull it out and am like "maybe I was exaggerating" but nope, it really says all that in black and white text sent to my gmail in 2012. It's so crazy to me that a TEACHER would put something like that in writing. She also said I was beyond help, like gee thanks. Way to you know, teach. I am SO OPEN to CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM and feedback that I can use to better myself, but telling me you've given up on me isn't exactly helpful. She was also the sole reason I wasn't allowed to take AP English in high school, she refused to sign the form to let me enroll.
One time, she took points off of my The Great Gatsby reading quiz because one of the questions was "What color is Gatsby's car" and I said yellow and she marked me wrong and said it was BEIGE because it was supposed to represent A PENIS and MASCULINITY so my happy ass went and FOUND THE PASSAGE IN THE BOOK where it EXPLICITLY SAYS Gatsby's car is YELLOW and SHOWED HER and she then told me I was being disrespectful for questioning her... Nothing fuels a person like spite does and I dream of one day publishing something and then mailing her a copy 🤣
I hope you are having a wonderful Tuesday and that you have a great rest of your week!
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#keep it kind#this is that ONE THING that i will probably never get over#i have been writing creatively since before i could actually write myself#i used to like dictate stories to my mother and make her write them down for me#reading and writing is like my entire world other than pop#i love it so much#so like this bitch teacher to tell me i had no future pursuing it or like partaking in it#and should just give up made me SO ANGRY and still does like wtf who says that in WRITING#shes low key the reason i have a business degree instead of an english degree#it took me a few years to turn the devastation into anger that i used to fuel me#in college i didnt have to write one of my final english papers#because i had such a high grade in the class even if i didnt turn it in i would still have an A so my professor was like save yourself#the trouble you're done here is your A#ALSO the great gatsby is like my favorite book#or well not really but one of them#if i wasn't deathly afraid of needles#i would get you look so cool tattooed on my shoulder#as both a gatsby reference and a 1975 reference#because the fact that was how daisy said i love you in gatsby just like unlocked something in my brain#its so poetic and so toxic and i love it
1 note
·
View note
Text
i do love dancing. i don't know how to do it but i do love it </3
#in our old apartment when i was the only one not working or the only one awake i would play my music out loud#and just dance without thinking about it for an hour every few weeks and i cant imagine i looked Good but i had so much fun.......#now? i am too tired and most of my waking hours are spent with other people awake and roaming the apartment#im too nervous to dance anymore!! SAD!#actually normally i sing and im too nervous to do that anymore either theres just nowhere i can do it without being listened to#its genuinely upsetting to think about for too long i sing to myself all the time i love doing it#i'd love to go to a karaoke bar someday but i want to practice singing sometimes and i just cant do it </3#i tend to be kind of quiet most of the time because im shy but im also bad at regulating my volume#it gets me into trouble more often than i would like <///3 i'm doing my best out here man...i cannot control the volume of my laugh#this is another thing that gets to me about the diabolical and unethical car. ohhhh what i wouldnt give for a space to fill with music
0 notes
Text
W-WHA……………………?
@tariah23
#KAJAJSHWHSH WHAT!??? ANON……………………… I feel like megumi waking up from the darkness but actually getting my ass up when yuuji came to save me#ah….. this is…. iJAAJJJAJ MANN WHAT THIS IS ALSO FOR ME WHAT THESJSJJ I am not… im not worthy actually please im not used to others drawing#stuff for me so you and my other friend all of a suddenansj I kind of want to throw up ❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!!??#THANK YOU!?!!!! bb!!!! losing my mind RN!???? you’re always so sweet to me 😭❤️!!!#I have to get back to you on twitter tho!!! sorry I just haven’t been on fr because of work but this is a temp job so I have like one more#week with this location until I’m sent elsewhere 😭… I wish I could stay actually this shift is so easy I barely do anything all night#the only thing I have trouble with is trying to stay awake rly… orz#I will get back to you prob today tho I still haven’t replied back to some of the old ones ahhh#I saw this jjk fan edit that shoke me to the core and gotta show you I kinda of hate it (joking) because the edit looked like Gojo and#Ijichi’s daughter and I *impales myself immediately*#I couldn’t believe itjssjsjs#I’ll have to find the post again ajsjjss#I always love your art sm though you’re super talented!!!! you give your Gojo’s sm energy! he’s always SMILING that big smile and he gives#off major freak energy just how we like it 😭❤️!!!#you’re so good!!!!!#gotta do a trade with you once I clear off some comm and my other trades with buds as well 😭…#jujutsu kaisen#I hope things have been well 😭❤️❤️❤️!!!!!!!#I didn’t even know you had an art acc as well 😭!!!#art for me
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝙊𝙪𝙧 𝙇𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙎𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙎.𝙅
pairing ⇀ professor! sim jaeyun x (f) student! reader
synopsis ⇀ you always knew your professor was attractive, so it wasn’t new when girls would try to gain his attention. what you didn’t know though was that he only had his eyes on you. what comes as a friendly teacher-student relationship takes a turn when you find yourself thinking differently about him with your private lessons together.
genre ⇀ smut, angst
warnings ⇀ MINORS DNI!, lower case intended, four year age gap (jake is 22 and reader is 18), tons of jealousy, cursing, jake is obsessed with oblivious reader, dom! jaeyun x sub! reader, name calling (slut, whore, and etc.), (f) receiving, pussy eating, unprotected sex, cum eating, choking, multiple orgasms
w.c ⇀ 5.4k
a/n ⇀ i don’t know why but this was and on and off fic i was doing cause i didn’t really like but i’m glad i finally finished it. i can’t tell if this was good or not because i was stressing on how to put the ending so bear with me on that. reblog, like, comment, etc.! lmk if i missed any warnings! not proofread.
masterlist here
the first time you saw professor sim was during the orientation week. you were a freshman, nervous and excited about starting your journey in college. the campus was bustling with activity, and you were trying to find your way to the science building for your first lecture.
as you walked through the crowded hallway, you accidentally bumped into someone, "oh, I'm so sorry!" you exclaimed, looking up to see a tall man with a kind smile.
"no worries at all," he replied, adjusting his glasses. "are you lost?"
"uh, yeah, actually. I'm trying to find the science building," you admitted, feeling a bit embarrassed.
"you're in luck. I'm heading there myself. i’m professor sim, by the way," he said, extending his hand.
you shook his hand, feeling a bit more at ease. "nice to meet you, professor sim. i’m l/n y/n.”
"well, y/n, follow me. i'll show you the way," he said, leading you through the maze of hallways. as you walked, you noticed his broad back through his suit. the suit fitting perfectly on him. you blushed watching him strut confidently past students and teachers watching him walk past.
you definitely won’t lie and say he’s not handsome. his glasses framing his face perfectly. you never knew you would like guys with glasses. he suddenly asked about your interests and what drew you to study science. his genuine interest in your answers made you feel welcome.
fast forward to the present, you were now in your second semester, and professor sim class had quickly become your favorite. his enthusiasm for science was infectious, and he had a knack for making even the most complex topics seem approachable. however, the latest homework assignment was proving to be a real challenge.
as you packed your notebooks and computer you saw a girl bluntly flirting with him. batting her eyelashes at him. it wasn’t new seeing different girls trying to talk to him, purposely saying they need help just to see him up close. you cleared your throat you gathered your courage and approached his desk. "professor sim, could I ask for some help with the homework? i’m really struggling with the concepts."
he looked up at you, a warm smile spreading across his face, completely ignoring the other girl in front of him. he probably knew what she was trying to do, "of course, i'd be happy to help. why don't you come by my office later this afternoon?"
the girl huffed at her non existence and walked away, leaving the both of you alone. you nodded, feeling a wave of relief.
later that day, you found yourself sitting across from him in his office. the room was filled with books and scientific models, and the faint smell of coffee lingered in the air.
"alright," he said, pulling up a chair next to you, "let's take a look at what you're having trouble with."
you pulled out your notebook, showing him the problems that had been giving you headaches. he patiently explained each step, breaking down the complex ideas into simpler terms. his explanations were clear and concise, and he used analogies that made the material more relatable.
"see? you're getting the hang of it," he encouraged, his eyes twinkling with pride. "sometimes all it takes is a different perspective."
as you worked through the problems together, you found yourself gaining a deeper understanding of the subject. you also couldn’t help but look at his side profile, his plump soft lips moving with passion for science was evident in every word he spoke, and it was impossible not to be inspired by his enthusiasm.
"thank you so much, professor jake," you said sincerely as you packed up your things. "i really appreciate your help."
"anytime, y/n. don't hesitate to reach out if you need more assistance," he replied with a smile.
you gave him another smile. you left his office feeling more confident and grateful for his guidance. professor sim had not only made the subject more accessible but had also shown you that with the right support, you could tackle even the toughest challenges.
over the next few weeks, you continued to visit his office for help, and each time, you left with a better understanding of the material. his encouragement and patience made all the difference, and you began to see science in a whole new light.
even though you guys only talked about science and just science, you couldn’t help but notice when sim would ask you questions outside of science. like ‘what do you think about your teachers?’ or ‘who’s your favorite teacher so far?’, and each time he’d ask, you would always say him.
one afternoon, as you were wrapping up another productive session, he asked, "so, y/n, have you thought about what you want to do after college?"
you paused, considering his question. it was new for him to ask that, "i'm not entirely sure yet. i know i want to do something in science, but I haven't decided on a specific path."
"that's perfectly fine," he said reassuringly. "you have plenty of time to figure it out. just remember to follow your passion and stay curious. the rest will fall into place."
you smiled, feeling a sense of reassurance, “thank you professor sim. i really appreciate that.”
you watch him push his hair back with a smile. you felt your heart skip a beat and immediately looked away, “i-i think i should get going. it’s getting pretty late.”
“you don’t need a ride do you? it’s pretty dark out since we practiced a bit longer than usual.” he reasoned. you thought for a moment. it is dark out and you don’t know who’s outside at this time. so, you nodded your head.
“great. i’ll tidy up before we go.” he said. you watched him put a few books away and tidying up his desk for tomorrow before grabbing his keys from his drawer. he then walked you to the door.
you both left the college and went to the parking lot. you felt yourself feeling nervous. it was your first time going with sim anywhere but his class. he went to a mercedes car making you hum in acknowledgement.
he chuckled at your reaction, “like it?” he teased. you nodded your head and giggled.
“i don’t really know cars that well, but i just know this one is expensive.” you said. his laugh causing a stir in your stomach.
you both entered the car and buckled up. he backed from the parking lot, “do you live on campus or somewhere else?” he asked.
“i live on campus, but the other one.” you spoke.
“you live pretty far? you walk here?” he murmured. he gazed at you curiously.
you chuckled, “it’s a good walk. i wake up a bit earlier so i’m not late for your class.”
he smiled at you, “if i would’ve known you go that far i’d spare you.” you shook your head and smiled back.
the car ride was silent, you let out a sigh and lay your head on the window. the past few days you haven’t been getting much sleep. you felt your eyes get a bit heavy.
“tired?” sim questioned. you opened your eyes back up and nodded.
“a little. sorry, haven’t really got much sleep. i’ve been so stressed out that i couldn’t sleep.” you joked, but it wasn’t really a joke.
sim hummed, he understood how tiring college could be, “you can take a nap. i mean if you want too. i’ll wake you up when we’re at the campus.” he said.
you smiled gratefully. soon your eyes became heavy and that’s when you fell asleep. your soft breathing soon filling the silence.
jake looked at your sleeping figure. you really were the prettiest student he’s ever seen. he knows it’s wrong to think of you like that. you’re supposed to be just a student to him, but he can’t help but think of something more.
your smile that makes him feel a type of way inside. your pretty laugh that he can’t help but adore. those thoughts were just something he thought weren’t bad, but his other thoughts were a bit more mature.
the way your outfits fit your body perfectly. your breast sitting perfectly in your bra, jiggling when you walk towards him. it’s hard for him not to get rock hard and stare. your fingers so pretty to him that he wonders if they're just as pretty inside your pussy. your glossy lips so pretty when they pout, he wonders what they would feel like around his dick. he just knows they’d stretch so pretty.
he soon parks the car in front of the campus. he shakes you softly, “y/n. we’re here.”
you groaned and turned away from him. he tried shaking you awake again, but you didn’t budge. he sighed and looked around. maybe he could just pick you up and take you to your dorm. that wouldn’t be weird right?
he got off his car and went to your side, opening the car door. he grabbed your backpack and slung it over his shoulder. he unbuckled your seatbelt and picked you up swiftly. he was hoping no one was awake at this time. he opened the door with his free hand and entered the building.
as soon as he unlocked your door he set you down on your bed with your bag on the chair. he couldn’t help but curiously look around. your room filled with collage photos of you and your friends. there was a photo of you and your parents. he slowly picked up the photo and smiled. you looked happy unlike the times you were in the halls.
he set it back down and was about to head out until he heard you making a noise, “sim please. down there.” you moaned out.
jake paused his walking and looked back at you. you were still sleeping, but your breathing started to become uneven and heavy. wait, were you having a dream about him?
he slowly prodded towards you and slightly shook you. you really were a deep sleeper. just then you let out another noise. it sounded like a whimper.
“fuck me sim.” you whispered.
what. the. fuck.
jake nearly choked on his spit. there was no way you talk this clearly in your sleep. were you joking with him? his breathing became unsteady with the uncomfortable feeling between his legs. he cursed at himself for still standing here and quickly left. locking the door on the way out.
he would just pretend he never heard you.
he couldn’t pretend. the whole day he was thinking about what you said last night. with him having to solve his little problem himself. you acted normally the way you did. you remembered he took you back to your campus cause you thanked him first thing when you saw him. if only he didn’t make it seem awkward.
you on the other hand was confused why professor sim was acting strange. were you snoring really loud in his car? you really hoped you didn’t.
as class came to an end, you packed your stuff. as you were packing you couldn’t help but look over at professor sim. your eyes went wide when you saw him talking to another female teacher. you didn’t even notice she came in.
they seem to be chatting about something funny cause sim was laughing a lot to what she was saying. you felt a weird feeling in your chest that you couldn’t describes. was it jealousy?
you sighed and put your bag over your shoulder and left the class without sparing another look. as you were walking you suddenly heard your name being called. you turn around expecting a specific person, but you saw that it was riki.
you gave him a fake smile, “hey riki.” you said. riki smiled once he caught up to you.
“are you okay? i tried texting you last night but you didn’t answer.” he asked. you pushed your hair behind your ear suddenly remembering last night again.
“o-oh i came home pretty early and fell asleep. did you need to talk about something?” you spoke.
riki nodded, “actually i was gonna talk to you about the project-“ “y/n.”
your eyebrows furrowed and looked behind riki, only to see none other than professor sim. he came closer to you guys, “you guys should head to class or you’ll be late, especially you mr. nishimura.”
the tone in professor sim kinda intimidated you. his voice bitter and sharp towards riki. riki nervously nodded his head and gave you a tight smile before walking past you. you looked at professor sim only to see him looking at you.
“did you need something professor sim?” you mumbled, feeling small under his strong gaze.
“don’t waste your time talking to guys and focus on your classes.” he suddenly said. his voice coming more harsh than he intended. your eyebrows furrowed felling a bit offended.
“excuse me?” you said “you should know i don’t waste my time on guys. riki isn’t just any guy, he’s my friend.”
before jake could say something you walked away. jake sighed and pushed his hair back. he didn’t mean to come out like that. he couldn’t shake that feeling of jealousy when he saw how close riki was to you. he’d have to apologize later.
you sighed when your last class finally finished. you were supposed to have your tutoring lesson with sim, but after that incident you don’t think you could go. you’ll just email him saying you’re sick. you left the college and walked to your campus.
you listened to a few playlists while walking. the cool breeze with the sunny sky made you feel relaxed. once you came to your campus you said hi to the lady up front and went to your room. you set your bag on the floor and sighed. a shower sounds good. before you went in the shower you emailed sim about your canc and shut your computer.
you took a quick shower and finished up. you wrapped a robe around your body and dried your hair with a towel, but before you could grab your phone you heard a knock at your door. you frowned, nobody barely knocks on your door, so who could it be. you opened the door and your eyes widened in surprise. it was sim.
“professor sim? what are you-“ “are you that mad at me?” he cut you off. you closed your mouth. is that why he came all the way here?
“professor sim im not mad-“ “so why are you ignoring me?” he said. you didn’t know it mattered that much to him.
“i-i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to cancel last minute.” you said. maybe that’s why he was upset. he doesn’t like when people cancel stuff last minute. he shook his head.
“i’m not mad if that’s what you’re thinking. i’m asking if you’re mad about what i did earlier.” he admitted. oh. that’s what he was talking about. to be honest you don’t know if you were really mad anymore. so, you shook your head.
“it’s okay. i’m sorry for being rude.” you muttered.
“i should say sorry too. i know you don’t do any of those things. i was just in a bad mood.” he said. was he really in a bad mood if he was talking to that female teacher happily?
you gave him a fake smile, “it’s okay professor sim. was that all you came here for.”
just as he was about to say something, he averted his gaze down and noticed you were in a robe. he felt his face burning and looked back up at you, “o-oh i’m sorry. did i interrupt your bathing time?” he stuttered.
“huh?”
you looked down and also noticed you were still in your robe. you gasped and moved the door in front of you, “i’m sorry!”
he tried shaking his head, but you just kept apologizing, “no it’s fine really! it’s my fault.”
you stopped apologizing and stared at him, awkwardness filling the air. he cleared his throat and looked back at you, “i-i’ll get going-“
“wait. i know this might sound weird, but do you wanna come in for a moment? we can do the lesson here if you're still up for it.” you thought. jake pondered for a moment before nodding.
you got done getting dress in your bathroom and came out. you saw sim sitting on the floor with textbooks on the wooden table you had in the middle of your room. he was looking around your room before staring at you.
you smiled at him and sat next to him, “we can start where we left off yesterday if that’s fine.” you said. he nodded and flipped the page to where you guys left off.
as you he taught you easy ways to get the answer, you felt yourself getting distracted once again by his visuals. you didn’t know what you were feeling at this point, it was a feeling you hated, but wanted to know more about. all of a sudden sim looked at you. you felt your breath get caught in your throat. he was staring at you with a questionable linger in his eyes. you felt his breath against your face. you guys were so close that if you moved a step your lips would touch.
“sim-“ “push me away if you don’t want this.” was all he said when you suddenly felt lips on yours.
you gasped and held tightly on his shirt. his lips molding against yours perfectly. you moaned when you felt his hand grip your ass, making him have access to enter his tongue. you felt your room getting hot as you lay on the ground with sim on top of you.
you took off his jacket while he helped you take it off without breaking the kiss. the dim lighting of your fairy lights making it seem darker than usual. he took off your shorts, only leaving your underwear on. he kissed and sucked along your jawline to your chest, kissing it gently. the sexual tension you guys had finally snapping in him. he lifted your shirt up and unclasped your bra. you felt the cold air hit your nipples and made a noise.
he smirked against your chest before gripping one breast and sucking the other. you let out a moan and gripped his locks. he groaned and pinched your nipple making you jerk.
“sim.” you whimpered. he looked up at you and departed from your breast.
he started unbuttoning his long sleeve button up, “call me jake.” he said. you bit your lip when you finally saw his toned body. god if you would’ve known he had that body under his suit you would’ve made a move sooner.
he leaned back down and kissed you gently, biting your lip making you sigh. you felt his right hand slowly going down until it made contact with your cloth pussy. you threw your head back when you suddenly felt him rub your folds up and down.
he dipped his hand in a second later and confused rubbing your folds, “fuck you’re so wet.” he murmured.
you nodded and kissed him again. both of your lips swollen. you wouldn’t want it any other way though. he took his fingers away and put them in his mouth. you watched intensely as he smirked at you. he got up and lifted you up bridal style before putting you on your bed. he unbuckled his pants and pulled them down revealing his boxers.
you gasp at the outline of his dick. you know it’s big. he got on top of you again and slid down your underwear. you felt yourself blushing with how he stared. you felt the urge to close your legs but before you could jake dipped his head down to your pussy.
“j-jake wait.” you moaned when you suddenly felt his hot tongue lick your folds.
he groaned as you gripped his hair again. he licked your folds again but this time he sucked on your clit. you thrash around at the new feeling as your eyes rolled back.
the sound of wet slurping noises was the only thing heard in your room. jake couldn’t get enough of your pussy. he was a completely pussy drunk man at this moment. your sweet juices leaking out, he knows you love it just as much as he does.
you felt a tight feeling in your pussy and patted his head, “j-jake m’gonna cum!” you cried out. he didn’t stop making you feel your climax coming. you let out one last moan before your orgasm finally hit. your legs shaking on the side of his head. he drummed up your cum like he was a dehydrated man.
you panted harshly and whined when he finally pulled away. he licked the rest on his chin, “fuck, you taste so good.” he says. he pulls his boxers down and that’s when you finally saw his dick. it was veiny and hard, precum at the tip.
“do you need to be prepped?” he said. you shook your head. you needed his dick in you now.
he positioned himself at your entrance before slowly pushing in. he groaned while you whimpered and held him tightly. he hissed when he felt you scratching at his back. slowly, he backed up and pushed back in so you could get used to the feeling.
a few minutes later you felt a pleasure tingling in your body, “j-jake faster. please.”
he didn’t need to be told twice. he started going at a faster pace and that’s when you were out of it. his tip hitting your g-spot.
“yes! right there! oh fuck!” you cried out. the sound of skin slapping, panting, and bed creaking was heard. you had a feeling people could hear you, but you could care less. especially with the way jake was fucking you.
he gripped your neck with a free hand, “such a little whore for dick. gonna be a good bitch for me?” he rasped out. you nodded your head frantically.
he felt you squeeze his dick and moaned. your pussy was a match made in heaven just for him.
you felt another orgasm coming and arched your back. he gripped your hips and snapped his hips harder. your orgasm hit you hard and you saw white. jake snapped his hips three more times before pulling his dick out, stroking himself on your stomach before cumming.
both of you panted uneven and hard. he got off your bed and grabbed the towel you used for your hair and wiped your stomach and wiped your pussy. you whined from sensitivity.
he grabbed another pair of pajamas for you and helped your put them on.
he put the towel in your dirty basket and went back to you, pushing your hair back, “i should get going.” he said.
you pouted, “do you have to leave?”
jake hated that he did, but he can’t get caught with his own student, “it’s for the better. you’ll see me tomorrow.”
you finally nodded your head. he covered you with your blanket and kissed your head, “goodnight beautiful.” he whispered. you soon dozed off into dreamland.
jake got dressed and looked at you one last time before shutting your door with a soft click.
you groaned feeling an ach in your body. you got up and went to your bathroom. you looked at yourself in the mirror and gasped. your neck was covered in hickeys from your neck to your chest. you traced your fingers along them and slowly smiled.
you took another shower and got dressed for the day. you out on a crew neck to cover your hickeys. good thing it was cold out today.
you soon got to the campus and entered your class to see jake already there typing on his computer. he didn’t notice you so you decided to sit down at your seat. once the bell ring he looked up from his computer and spotted you. he gave you a knowing grin before standing up, getting ready for the lecture.
“alright guys, did you finish the homework from yesterday?” he chimed. students began taking out their notes and handed them in. you turned yours in too. jake continued his lecture until the bell rang. students left the class while you waited until everyone left.
you went up to his desk and gave him a smile. he got up and gave you a hug. you giggled and stuffed your face in his neck.
“your not hurt anywhere are you?” he asked. you shook your head. he sighed in relief before letting you go.
“same time at my place?” you said. jake chuckled and quickly pecked your lips.
“i can’t today. i have a meeting to attend.” he spoke. you pouted, but understood.
“okay. i’ll see you later though right?” you said. he chuckled at your urgent question and nodded.
“of course you will beautiful.” he replied. you smiled cheerfully before leaving his class so he could attend his meeting.
over the next few days it would be the same. jake would come over to your dorm and would spend time with you, either having loving sex or just spending time together. everything was going just the way you wanted it too. until an incident happened.
rumors started to spread around campus. whispers of favoritism and inappropriate relationships between you and professor sim filled the halls. despite your best efforts to ignore them, the pressure was mounting.
one evening, after a particularly stressful day, jake asked to meet you in his office.
you opened the door to his office to see him already there in deep thought. you let out a gulp before going towards him, “jake?”
he looked up at you, but it wasn’t with the same loving look he usually gave you. “y/n, we need to talk," he began, his voice heavy with emotion. "i think we should stop what we’re doing. what we had was nothing but satisfaction we wanted to get off our chests.”
your heart sank, where was he coming from with this? satisfaction? getting it off our chest? you couldn’t help but feel tears pricking your eyes, “w-what do you mean? don’t you love me?”
jake stared at you as if you were just a regular person to him, “y/n, what we had wasn’t love. you were just a way to relive my stress. whatever you thought we had ends here. you may be dismissed.”
the lack of emotions in his voice finally made your tears fall freely.
you let out a sob, “i hate you! don’t ever talk to me again!” you screamed out before leaving his room, slamming the door shut.
weeks went by, and the pain of the breakup lingered. you threw yourself into your studies, trying to keep your mind off jake. even though you had him first period and he was your professor, you made a good route on ignoring him. none of it was easy, but you found solace in your friend, riki, who had always been there for you. his presence was comforting, and slowly, you began to smile again.
“are you gonna have that?” riki asked. you rolled your eyes at him before smiling. you gave him your cookie which he happily accepted.
you both were currently waiting at a bus station. after riki found out you walk a long way to the college, he insisted on paying for your bus rides as long as he gets to go with you.
“it’s way too cold out today.” you commented. riki nodded his head as he munched on the cookie. you shivered when a gust of wind blew at you guys. riki noticed your freezing state.
“come closer to me.” he said. you scooted a bit closer to him and lay your head on his shoulder. you sighed at somewhat of a closer warm feeling. as you guys continued waiting you saw a familiar car stopping in front of you guys. your eyes widened when the driver door suddenly opened revealing jake.
before you could think, jake yanked your wrist and pulled you away from riki. you yelped and tried taking your wrist away from him.
“what the hell are you doing?” you snapped at him. riki got up and tried to help you but jake stopped him.
“get the hell away or you’ll regret it.” he gritted his teeth. riki stopped and looked at you worriedly. you shook your head at him not to come any further. jake took you to his car, opening the passenger door and setting you inside. he slammed it shut before going to the drivers seat and entering.
you silently watched him start the car, leaving riki in the cold. you felt guilty and angry and looked at jake, “let me go jake! i wanna be with riki!” you yelled.
jake ignored you. you scoffed, “jake seriously. let me go!”
“stop talking or i’ll find a way to make you.” he said. you immediately stopped ranting and stared at him. you decided to stay silent. you knew you couldn’t fight him when it came to this.
in all honesty jake never felt so jealous before until now. you were so close to riki that something inside him snapped. at first he was gonna let it go since he’s the one that initiated the end to your relationship, but he saw a spark in your eyes that he hadn't seen in a while.
a pang of regret hit him hard. he realized that letting you go was a mistake. the rumors and the pressure seemed insignificant compared to the happiness he saw in your eyes.
you arrived at a building. you assumed it was an apartment building. jake opened your door when he came out. you stepped out when he grabbed your wrist and took you inside.
when you finally got to a room he unlocked it with a pin and entered it. the first thing you saw was shelves lined with scientific journals and textbooks, a whiteboard covered in equations and diagrams, but amidst all the science, there was also a comfy reading nook with a big, plush armchair and a collection of classic novels. you noticed how he had a nice window view of the city night. now that you thought of it, it was your first time at his place.
“you can take your jacket off.” he said. slowly, you took off your jacket. he grabbed it and settled it on a rack.
you stood there awkwardly and waited for his next move. he extended his hand out for you to grab. you took it as he walked you to the couch, “i’ll go get us some drinks.”
you sat down on the couch and waited. you didn’t know what to talk about to him. he came back with a drink and handed it to you. you grabbed it and took a small sip. he sat down next to you and that’s when he made he contact with you, but this time he had that same old look he gave you back then.
"y/n, I made a mistake," he confessed. "seeing you with riki made me realize how much i miss you. i thought i was protecting you, but all I did was hurt you. can you ever forgive me?"
you took a deep breath, the memories of your time together flooding back. you wanted to just drop everything and forgive him, but you knew it’s best to face reality.
“professor sim-“ “jake.” he cut you off.
you sighed, “jake, i forgive you, but i don’t think we can go back to the way it was. what you said really did hurt me that i couldn’t even eat or sleep. i don’t wanna go that same route again.”
jake looked at you regretfully. you just wanted to hug him and hold him forever. he stared down, “i understand. i don’t blame you at all. i really did fuck it up cause i was a coward.” he admitted.
“you’re not a coward jake. you just didn’t wanna lose your job.”
“but i lost you instead.” he said. now it was your turn to stare down. jake slowly lifted your head up with his hand under your chin.
"I promise y/n, i’ll do anything to get you back." he promised.
you gave him a smile. you know it’ll take time to work things out, but you knew if you did it together, nothing would stop you guys from being with each other. so, you cupped your hand on his and gave him a reassuring smile.
“i’m counting you on that sim jake. and if you do get me back, it can be our little secret.”
#sim jake x you#sim jaeyun x you#sim jayun#sim jaeyun x reader#sim jake x reader#sim jaeyun#sim jake#sim jaehyun x reader#enha jake#enhypen jaeyun#enhypen jake#jake enhypen#jake x reader#enha jaeyun#jaehyun#enhypen jake x reader#enhypen jake x y/n#enhypen jake x you#enha#enha smau#enha smut#enha x reader#enhypen#enha fluff#enha imagines#enha scenarios#enhypen smut#enhypen masterlist#enhypen scenarios#kpop smut
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
—finally giving up on your unrequited love ft. alhaitham
a/n: ouch i hurt myself writing this. wc: 1.6k words of yapping about unrequited feelings
once upon a time you were grateful for alhaitham’s indifference, the lack of anything he was being when you’re badgering him with chatters, a detailed description of your day, concerns over him, and the occasional gifts.
it seemed like a blessing once, like acceptance. the slightest open of the door, thinking you could invite yourself in and he’d embrace that fact. but as his apathy remain constant and unchanging, you’ve come to realization—an embarassing one at that.
that indifference, that should’ve been a sign for you; alhaitham will never return your feelings.
-
a stroll a day, keeps the stressful thoughts away.
however today’s walk is just not doing it for you, once you decided to wake up from the dreamland you thought you’ve been living in. a faraway and unrealistic vision of a life where you end up together with the akademiya scribe. an exaggerated sigh escaped you at your own daydreaming. usually by now you’d be quick on your feet to visit the scribe, however the overdue revelation you had last night made you finally think twice before doing it. and only because of that now you’d realized just how much of your life was centered on the grey-haired man, which was a scary discovery, knowing just exactly how little you mattered to his.
you found an empty bench mid-walk, immediately sitting on it. you leaned back, both of your hands holding your weight as you look above. the sky was clear that day, but your mind was clearer, as if a thick fog has finally been lifted.
seriously, what have you been doing all this time? giving your all to someone who wanted none of you. alhaitham’s curt nod, his brief and short responses really should’ve been a clue as to how he felt about you. yet you kept being stubborn, and sometimes hope was human’s greatest enemy. what should have been a bare minimum gesture he did, your mind managed to twist it into something more; clinging to it like a water on a desert. when it turned out that was exactly all there was to it—a mirage.
you chuckled sadly. even remembering those pathetic displays, you couldn’t bring yourself to fully regret having this feeling towards alhaitham. those moments where you’d steal a glance at him and felt like the world was okay. you would not allow yourself to forget that as you became more selfish, wanting him to look at you and feel the same. but here you were, reluctantly learning to accept the fact that he may never does.
suddenly a shadow loomed over you, shielding you from the sunlight you didn’t realize was so bright.
a familiar blond invaded your vision. “(y/n)?” he called out unsure, not expecting you to be there. “oh hi there, kaveh,” you lightly said, as if your heavy train of thoughts hadn’t existed at all. you adjusted your sitting position, shifting yourself to the side as you spare an empty spot beside you for him to sit. kaveh swiftly took your silent offer up, making himself as comfortable as he could on the wooden bench. “i spotted you from afar and you seemed a little troubled, hopefully i was wrong?” the ever so kind kaveh spoke up, and you couldn’t help but smile. kaveh always felt like a friend more than alhaitham ever was, albeit knowing him after you got to know the scribe. you weren’t even sure if the grey-haired man would ever mention even a word about his roommate if it wasn’t for you hanging wround on his office on a peaceful lunch break when the fuming blond barged in and yell at him about a key.
as it turned out, it’s a known fact that most people became quiet irritable when it comes to being in contact with the curt and aloof scribe, since kaveh has been nothing but a good friend since the day he gave you a weird look about wanting to get close to the acting grand master.
“it’s kind of complicated to say,” you started, thinking of the words as you went on. “let’s just say i’m having a quite bittersweet moment.”
you rested your gaze on the bustling street in front of you. he nodded in reply, “i’m guessing it’s more bitter than it is sweet?” he asked genuinely as you smiled once more despite not feeling a drop of mirth. “i suppose so,” you replied curtly, not knowing what to say to his keen observation. keen and exactly correct.
it’s the kind of bitterness that lingered. a kind of flavor you’d expected, since you’re the one who put it in. still, when that sharp taste hit your tongue you couldn’t help but flinch. after all, things don’t stop affecting you even though you saw it coming from miles away. you just hoped the sweetness will get stronger overtime, overpowering as it wash down the unpleasant aftertaste.
kaveh mirrored your smile in return except his looked particularly patronizing, as if he could sense your helplessness.
“will you tell me what happened?” his voice sounded gentle, a care you’ve never heard from the man you’d give a limb to for him to say things along that line. how do you even begin to answer such a simple question? nothing happened, and that’s why it was the problem. the fact that you’re the only one who’s mulling all over this, being so conflicted to what he thought must be nothing. a pain so overwhelming that’s swirling all over your chest while his biggest inconvenient that day was probably a typo made in a document made by a lousy student.
the whole thing just sounded so... pathetic.
“nothing happened... it’s just, i have decided to finally give up on something,” you try your best to sound nonchalant despite having no bravery to look at him, scared that he didn’t look like he believed you.
“well, i might know a thing or two about it. sometimes when an architecture project is too... unreasonable,” kaveh paused, the word tasted like a sour lime on his mouth. “there’s no way but to give it up. especially if you take a step back as take the whole picture from many aspects; in my case, there are budget, location, materials, and so on. there would definitely be some regret about letting go especially an ambitious task, however i think many of my past-self would really like to give the present-me a big gratitude for not forcing it through,” he rambled on, despite having no idea what were you referring on. “even sometimes, the reward was just not worth the risk, you know?” he ended it at that, throwing the question at you.
you swallowed on nothing, but you needed that to let out a reply.
“yes, i do know.”
“yeah? does this mean in your case, whatever you were fighting for was not worth it in the end?”
oh, that’s the worst part. you knew, you knew it with your heart, body and soul that it would be so worth it if there’s an outcome, a scenario where alhaitham might return your feelings. oh it would be so worth it. you could smile, just imagining how worth it would it be.
but that was all it was. an unattainable imagination. an ending that you couldn’t allow yourself to be so cocky to reach.
kaveh waited for your respond patiently, but when the silence had gone for too long he moved his stare to you. he widened his eyes, his gaze softened.
“i don’t think you’re as okay as you made yourself to be,” he said softly, as you felt your cheeks wet by the uninvited tears, running along freely across your face. yet, you couldn’t make an effort to stop them, your heart knew more than anyone you needed that. to feel the sadness, to recognize it.
to let go of the fact that alhaitham will never return your feelings.
kaveh was just quiet as you sobbed quietly, putting a handkerchief silently at the space between you both. there is no empty consolation, no comforting words, no small pats on the back. there’s just silence, a little safe bubble for you to cry in without people coming over to you and asked why.
giving up is such a funny thing, how could doing it hurt more than to keep trying even though you received no sign of reciprocity at all? but you knew the answer of that.
when there hasn’t been a rejection, it’s in everyone’s nature to have hope. a hope that there’s a chance of obtaining something you’ve wished for. a chance that something could happen.
giving up means finality. a state of accepting an outcome you hadn’t wanted. a result you never asked for. an ending where all that’s left was what should have and what could have. a harsh reality people could only accept as it dangled the possibilities and visions of what ‘could have happened’ if you’d just kept trying right in front of your eyes.
like chasing your own shadow; a fun thing to do when you’re a child, but now it’s just a fitting metaphor, reminding you of a fool’s way who love in such a pathetic way.
-
once upon a time you were grateful for alhaitham’s indifference, the lack of anything he was being when you’re badgering him with chatters, a detailed description of your day, concerns over him, and the occasional gifts.
but now it’s definitely a curse. after all, anything that has to do with love was not indifference.
it was never, indifference.
---
the urge to write this in alhaitham pov........................ should i?
#genshin x reader#genshin scenarios#genshin impact#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin x you#genshin fanfic#genshin angst#alhaitham angst#alhaitham x you#alhaitham x reader
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
sugar baby headcanons!
CW: Mention of sex work, This is sfw generally but still deals with adult topics so proceed with caution.
Tf141 x reader
What you’ve realised about your favourite mystery account is that A) it's run by multiple people, and B) At least one of them is called Price.
You can’t exactly pinpoint who the rest are or how many, but you’ve managed to identify a few common themes when interacting with the account.
First, you know who Price is, and you can almost always tell it's him when he’s interacting with you. He’s the one you go to first regarding bills and fees you physically can’t pay. Within seconds, he transfers you the money and never lets you thank him for any of it. He also does his weekly check-ins to make sure everything is good. “Have you eaten?” “How’d you sleep?” “Did you take your meds last night?” That kind of thing. He’s also the one who calls you ‘Dolly’, a nickname he reserved for you.
But you're also pretty sure this other guy (Simon) lurks in the chat when you’re streaming. He won’t ask questions; he just sends you random tips throughout the stream while he watches silently. He’s not as talkative as Price or the others, and that’s kind of how you know it's him. But you’ve realised that just because he’s quiet doesn't mean he doesn't want to talk. It’s quite the opposite. He enjoys hearing you talk about your life and day and silently rewards you. When you DM him, you even get a little conversation. Nothing more than money and a “Nice”, but still conversation nonetheless.
You know one other fellow spends most of his time in the livestreams and not in your DMs (Gaz). He’s the one who engages with you in conversation the most, asking endless questions about your life. And he always comes back on the next live stream, remembering everything you said in the last. He’ll want the update on that project you were working on for school or if that job interview went as well as you both had hoped. If you weren’t Live to complete strangers, you’d probably open up to him about stuff you’ve never told anyone.
Now…One more person shows up now and again, mainly in your DMs. Part of the service for the website is that people can pay you to take a selfie and give it to them. They can be dirty or completely innocent; it all depends on what you’re advertising. There’s this one person who rather frequently asks for pictures of you, especially those with you smiling. You know it’s a different guy from the others you’ve spotted because he’s the only one who's outright flirtatious with you. Initially, you were wary. A man spending a lot of money on pictures of your face and upper body just screams trouble. But you grew to trust the account, so when you sent them the image, you were surprised by how quickly he showered you with praise.
“Fuckin’ hell, you’ll give a strong man a heart attack walking around that gorgous.”
“Makes me wonder how cute you look in person.” “I’m surprised no ones come along and snatched you up all ready. Can’t complain though. Means I get more of you to myself.”
You’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a slight blush on your cheeks after reading his responses.
#call of duty#soap x reader#task force 141#price x reader#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#task force 141 x reader#call of duty smut#cod fanfic#cod fluff#soap mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#soap x you#johnny mactavish x reader#tf 141#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#tf 141 headcanons#tf 141 smut#cod x you#poly 141#cod 141#141 x reader#john price x reader#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#john price x you#john price smut#gaz x reader
941 notes
·
View notes
Note
Not me abusing the asks to both share my love for the bioparents AU AND rant about the panels because none of my friends are in the LMK fandom and I'm suffering here so TAKE MY LOVE AND APPRECIATION ABOUT YOUR ART I guess x)
So first of all
I am a SUCKER for that kind of leaning in frames I'm going to print that and plaster it on my wall THEY ARE EVERYTHING /hj
I almost jumped of my chair when this one popped up YOU FED US GOOD its so worth the angst train incoming. Of course the panels before and after were equally as amazing but if I start going about every single panel we're still here in three days AT THE VERY LEAST LOL
Of course this one made me laugh like please their little faces
Using that to point out how much I love ALLLLLLL the silly faces you put in your comics I'm munching on them every single time they're crushy like chips or something just. Nom nom. Yummy.
Poor Nesha (Nesha? Nezha? Neja? I have no idea on how to write his name I already forgor LMAO) needs to be payed more. He tries to save MK and ends up dealing with two lovesick teenagers demons who have no concept of time/place/occasion apparently. Poor him. He gets a pat on the head for his troubles
And of course just the "NOPE I'M KEEPING HIM" mode and honestly we should have seen it coming- Red son was planning to courtnap him and didn't sleep in the past 5 days so he's not having any bullshit YOU'RE NOT TAKING HIS NOODLE BOY AWAY-
Could bet he spent so long thinking about the cournapping in the 5 past days his brain just cannot process that yeah maybe you need to let him down you're just going to drag him in more troubles- Either that or he's just going full protective mode. Both options are good anyways sooooo :)
We stan a protective boyfriend in this house.
---
And finally I'm SOOOOO hyped about whatever is coming next like I know that technically we're supposed to suffer but please I climbed up the angst train so many times now I'm just enjoying it by that point lol. It'll just make the following fluff even more worth it
Also I cannot wait to see MK's plan about the contract I'm so curious I'm dying I love you boys but I really want the plot to progress you can go back to kissing later lol
Finally, thank you for creating this AU. It's stumbling randomly upon it on my tik tok fyp that dragged me into watching Lego Monkie Kid and really THANK YOU FOR THAT. It's such an amazing show I CANNOT BELIEVE I didn't discovered it sooner so really thank for having created this comic because else I could have missed LMK and that would be just saaaad
Fun fact: since I had never interacted with LMK the first time I read your comic, I for some reason thought Macaque was a female (and I probably would have thought the same of Wukong if he wasn't called... well, Wukong because I randomly stumbled upon the myth's Wikipedia page at some point in my life XD). The shock I felt when I heard Macaque for the first time in the show because his voice was soooooo not what I expected x) I'm still laughing at myself to this day
So yeah, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, and I can't wait to see what you're going to pull next :D Wish you allllll the best <3
(I can totally wait, of course, it's just a figure of speech. Take your time, I could wait forever for the next chapter)
ahaha thank you for such a lovely comment!! Glad the scene gived "MINE" vibes as I was planning ahah.
Youu're welcome! It's an honor to serve this fandom. *bows*
398 notes
·
View notes
Text
FML: Urged
I think this was the photo that got me in. Of course I get the appeal now. But at the time I thought I was just messaging some other random torso on the apps. I was supposed to just be in and out, no strings attached. After all, he wasn’t my usual type. Looked like a roided out gym rat: bit of a gut; dark, wiry hair; and thick muscles. But muscles weren’t the thickest thing about him, and who was I to pass up a good time?
So I went over to his place. I wasn’t surprised when it was a loft above a small gym. Seemed like the ideal spot for the kind of guy. What I was not expecting was the apartment itself to be so…nice? Normal? I was prepared to get fucked on a twin-sized mattress on the floor, no frame, with sweaty clothes rotting around me. But the apartment had some character. He even offered me something to drink before we got started, in an actual glass. Maybe I needed to raise my standards. We chatted, flirted a bit as I finished my water and let things get hot from there. We kissed in the kitchen, made out in the living room, and worked our way back to his bedroom as sweatshirts, belts, shirts, pants, and straps trailed behind us.
As I positioned a pillow under myself, he took off his wife beater, the last barrier between us. The shirtless torso that seduced me was on full display as I rubbed his chest. As he leaned in to kiss me, I felt engulfed by this bear of a man, skin electric where I felt his hair ticking my bare chest. My senses felt heightened as I tasted cheap beer on his breath and smelled a deep musk of sweat, cum, and Old Spice, more in line with what I had expected from him. He ran his calloused hands over my chest and abs before finally taking up position over my trembling body. I wanted him in a way I hadn’t felt since I was a teen. Normally I would want to talk a bit more, at least give a safe word. But as he surrounded me and I felt his presence, my brain flipped a switch as my body instinctively relaxed for him. There were no thoughts to be had as my mind was consumed by his rich scent, the pleasure of his cock slowly stretching out my ass, and his intense gaze set on my fluttering eyes. At last I felt his bush pressed against my clenching ass. He lingered for just a moment, every throb of his member sending shivers through my body. He leaned in and whispered, “You feeling good, baby?”
I could only moan a bit in response. Feeling his weight bear down on me and his cock in my ass left no room for words. He shoved his pit in my face and I instinctively took a deep huff. Any resistance and tension left in my body released. I felt filled by him, just a vessel for his use. I was about to stick out my tongue when he pulled back and repositioned himself. He held my shoulders as he began moving his hips.
As he slowly began to fuck me, I felt him reach new depths within myself.
“There you go, much better. Let yourself just float”
I couldn’t resist him even if I wanted to. His cock methodically jackhammering my hole had my body riding wave after wave of pleasure. Then, I felt him tense up a bit as his cock swelled just a bit more telling me what was to come. He buried it deep as a pressure built within myself. A few more thrust from him and I shot my load over his furry chest. My mind could no longer handle it. I slipped off into a void of pure bliss, as this stranger collapsed on top of me, feeling his damp fur against my body and filling my senses once again with his musk.
I woke up the next day back in my own bedroom. No one else around. No signs of trouble. No clue how I got back. If the whole experience hadn’t been so vivid, I would have thought I dreamt the whole thing. But as I rolled myself out of bed and into the bathroom, one change became very clear.
Seemingly overnight I had lost my smooth skin and dirty blonde curls. In its place was hair. Thick, dark, course hair. It covered my chest, my arms, my back, even my crotch. I was shocked but, also, something else began to tickle at my brain. I took off my tank to get a better look at the forest. I flexed my muscles and admired the way it coated my chest and seemed to exaggerate its size. I hit a double bicep pose and smelled a familiar scent. The scent of sweat and heat and masculinity. My mind flooded with images of that night as my cock stood at attention. I shoved my face into my own pit as I bagan jacking off in front of the mirror, admiring my new body. It felt strange but satisfying, watching this stranger in the mirror mimic my every move as I lusted for him. I didn’t realize how far I had gone until I saw the stream hitting the mirror. It was hot, but something still didn’t feel right. As I cleaned up the restroom, I picked up my razor and considered cleaning myself up a bit. But as I lifted it to my face, I noticed my newly hairy pits. Exposing them, the scent of last night invaded my mind again and I couldn’t follow through. I finished getting dressed and I left for the day. With a busy schedule, maybe I could get some answers tomorrow. I think that was the last chance I had to do something, divert from the path laid out for me. But looking back, I don’t know if I would have changed a thing.
No day was as sharp a change as the first, but each morning as I looked myself in the mirror, something was a bit different. Maybe it was the sharpness of my jaw. Or were my pecs always this swoll? One week I swore my feet were growing larger. There is no way that they always slapped the ground like that. But my shoes always fit perfectly. Heck I may even need a new pair soon. My joggers were beat up as hell and reeked when I took them off after my Saturday runs. But soon it was the days that I couldn’t find anything that looked different that began to worry me most. Had I always thought so much about the bodies of the men around me? Did people always talk so fast? But as life slipped back into routine. Soon I began to question myself. Why had I worried so much about any changes? Things never actually seemed out of place, and I worked out hard to get these gains. I had been going to the gym for years and had spent years perfecting my splits. After about two months, I stopped worrying at all. Until finally, one day I woke up and looked myself in the mirror, I saw the same man who greeted me for years.
I was a sweaty gym rat. Always had been. Always would be. I took a deep huff of my own funk, and rubbed my muscles. But everything fell into place, something felt missing. I shouldn’t have to keep this godly body and musk to myself. For the first time in a while, I hopped onto the apps and started scanning through. God, all these old matches were terrible. Why did I used to have such a thing for those muscled-up college boys? They couldn’t grow a beard if their lives depended on it. Besides, I think I wanted someone a little more…submissive. Scrolling through, my eyes caught on this young 20-something twink. Something about him reminded me of someone…someone I used to know. His lithe body, tight curls, and skimpy clothes told me he was a bottom before I clicked on his profile. A few messages back and forth, and he was on his way.
He walked in the door and it was all I could do to contain myself. Something deep within me wanted my seed deep in his ass. I needed him to worship me. I wanted him to become just like me. I had no patience as my body acted on instinct. I stripped my shirt and calmly approached, placing my hand against the wall behind him. As my masculinity and musk washed over the twink, I watched as his eyes fluttered a bit and knew his mind was submitting.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” I asked plainly.
“Ye-yes, sir.”
I grinned as I understood fully now just what had happened to me, and the power I held. But watching this twink practically trembling in front of me, maybe I was even better than my captor had been.
I gave him a quick kiss as I lead him to my bedroom. I couldn’t wait to make another man in my image.
1K notes
·
View notes